#i feel like how louis earns money is such a point of pride for him i just

[pynkhues]

Your rewatch has made me think of love me at the ungodly hour again and Louis asking Lestat what Magnus gave him all that money for to get Lestat to confront the truth is so. AHHHHH. I don’t think the show can top your Magnus conversation you have set the standard.

Oh, anon 😭😭 This is extremely lovely.

[drhoneyandelley]

How can we balance love and differences in values within a marriage?

I love my honey hubby. It's overwhelming love, seriously so much that I’ve never seen this side of myself before. I never forget about when we first met (this is another time) also never forget that I LOVE fashion and labels like Louis Vuitton, Dior, Moschino, Hugo Boss... these are my forever lovers. Oh let me add Philippe Matignon in my tights collection. My life has always been accompanied by luxury brands. I suspect I’ve loved dressing up since I was in my mother’s womb, so much so that as soon as I became aware like 4 years old, I was content wearing my mother’s high-heeled pumps at the door. However, a problem arose when I married someone who loves to discern the essence of things rather than their labels. (Of course, I have no intention of criticizing luxury brands. I acknowledge that their exceptional craftsmanship, backed by a long history, results in designs and quality that are truly unique. In fact, my husband also seeks high quality and owns various luxury brand products.) However, naturally, this led to a battle between my brand-oriented self and my husband, a clash of fundamental values. What do you do in such a situation?

To reconcile our fundamental differences in values, we made an effort to thoroughly discuss and understand why each of us held our beliefs. Through this process, instead of completely abandoning our own values to accommodate the other, we gradually moved towards each other, learning to understand and respect our differing values and incorporating them into our own. It’s akin to taking the best of both worlds. What’s important is not to strive for perfect understanding and respect, but to let things go as long as each of us is reasonably satisfied. To accept things as they are. And the most important thing to remember is that, despite minor frictions and differences in values, we must not forget that we love each other. There is nothing greater than the most profound love. To love is the most beautiful thing. We must not forget this, nor get trapped by the obstacles that lie before us. For there is nothing more important than striving to protect our love for one another.

As a solution, basically I’ve chosen to purchase my luxury items with my own money, not my husband’s. He does not care about the money but it's not a point of money but my pride as a fashion lover and a wife. I believe that the money he earns with such dedication should be spent in a way that brings him comfort. Even when buying with my own funds, I practice moderation. I carefully consider whether an item is worth purchasing, if it suits me, or if I already own something similar. More importantly, I make it a point to purchase luxury items with the future in mind, regardless of my age. I carefully consider whether I will continue to use the brand throughout my life before making a decision. (When I make a purchase, I feel it’s only right to utilize it fully. Letting luxury items sleep in the closet seems almost unfair to them.) This investment-minded scrutiny is crucial, especially since my husband is a doctor also an investor. Adopting his perspective is not only about understanding him but also valuing his approach. And he, in turn, compliments how well the luxury items suit me when I wear them happily. When both partners show compassion, there’s no need to give up either a love for collecting brands or a happy marriage. I’ve managed to have both!

I could keep writing forevermore about fashion and love, but It’s time to start the prep work for the stewed meat dish with Disaronno. I like this unique and one of a kind flavor enriches stewed.

I love, therefore I am.

I wear, therefore I am.

[murfpersonalblog]

^ALL OF THIS! OH MY GOD OP, PREACH! Finally, someone gets it!

I feel so effing vindicated right now, OP.

How come Tom Anderson (based on the IRL Thomas C. Anderson) gets to be a pimp & Lestat gets to be Louis' co-owner "emptying a bank vault sampling," and no one bats an eye at them--but Louis' denigrated to high hell by Lestans & Armstans as "proof" that he's a worse abuser than two superpowered vampires!?

(White male) White-collar crooks like Tom and Alderman Fenwick walk scott-free, getting away with literal murder; while his former Black stooge earning 15% gets the hammer!?

We saw in living COLOR how hypocritical this BS was with Finn O'Shea, and how this stupid AF fandom was mad AT LOUIS for hanging up the Coloreds Only sign, like WTF!?

Either this ish is flying clear over y'all's heads, smooth-brained just like audience at the Theatre; or you're ignoring it deliberately.

Classism/elitism via aristocracy (Lestat), racism via slave-owning plantations (book!Louis), and capitalism via sex work (AMC!Louis) & art-markets (AMC!Loumand) are ALL forms of predatory exploitation at the root of vampirism--thriving off other people's labor. And Louis HATES HIMSELF for it! He HATES being a pimp, and he hates being a vampire! He HATES that "the only place in New Orleans a gentleman of my complexion could do a righteous business was a neighborhood called Storyville [the red-light district]."

The stark difference between Louis vs. Tom & Fenwick & Finn is that Louis DOESN'T mistreat his prostitutes. He wears it like a badge of pride (AND shield to hide behind), that the Azalea gave upward mobility to the girls he invited there, and that he DIDN'T treat them like Tom!

"I paid the staff better, paid the band better, all the while helping those who had been with me down the block to better themselves."

Then he made the girls co-owners (entrepreneurs working WITH him instead of FOR him)--but we ALSO know he only did that to avoid the racist Ordinances tryna shut ALL Black businesses down. YES, Louis IS a hypocrite & P.O.S. who only cared about the money to support his hypocritical family (X X); and yes, the girls with their 5% ownership still weren't being paid as well as LOUIS for doing all the work, cuz capitalism is EVIL, and there's no such thing as an ethical rich man--SOMEONE'S neck gets stepped on (or in a vamp's case, bitten). But let's not get the wires crossed thinking Lou's doing something he's NOT.

Vampirism IS an allegory for predation, "finding the vulnerability" in people to exploit it. Armand, Lestat, Claudia, Louis are ALL apex predators. That doesn't mean Lou's a sexual predator (rapist, molester), contrary to what the Trial script/Lestat LIED about, using the fact that he was a brothel owner against him.

The whole point's that Louis didn't have the POWER to FORCE anyone do anything. He could no more get away with forcing a 100+/500+ year old vampire to do anything, than he could get away with killing/abusing ANY white man OR Black prostitute! That's why Lestat yelled at him for killing the white racists! That's why the cops raided their house after Claudia's 56 Floaters were found! Lou's not out there beating/killing Black prostitutes--but LESTAT was! AMC never shows a violent/sexual hand laid on the prostitutes, but we're TOLD about 2 Black victims (of white men): Bricktop & Lily.

NOWHERE is Lou said or shown forcing those girls to work for him & do anything against their consent. Louis' prostitutes have HIGH levels of autonomy & agency that no bonafide pimp would EVER give to their girls. The prostitute in 1x1 told Louis to his face she was gonna beat Paul for harassing her with his anti-sex-work sermons!

Louis was more mad at Bricks for telling him to check the Alderman's poop-peen than he was for her nearly killing him, defending herself with a baseball bat when he tried to rape her! You think A Pimp Named Slickback would let all these girls act the way Louis does!?

AMC!Louis was running a BUSINESS, not a HAREM (a la Tom). "The product was desire," NOT torture porn or physical/sexual abuse. He called the Azalea a "rotating door of prey," cuz Loustat ate the JOHNS. But book!Louis AND Lestat ate Louis' SLAVES. The DPDL plantation was a house of effing HORRORS. The first 3rd of the movie does nothing but glamorize Black prostitutes & slaves being killed for Loustat's pleasure, as if it's sexy & fun & they're expendable.

AMC!Louis works WITHIN/AROUND oppressive systems, exploiting its weaknesses to get ahead--he's never been the architect or arbiter of that system; and he DOESN'T revel in the harm it--or HE--does to people--he tries to AVOID harm whenever possible! He's not a tyrant.

As a capitalist, AMC!Louis seamlessly links vampiric/IRL predation, cuz he IS problematic; he's NOT a good person--no vampire/capitalist is. He used "the capital accrued from plantations of sugar" as the seed money for the 8/24 businesses he bought in Storyville. (We can assume the other 16 were owned by Tom Anderson. & his cohorts.) Louis was good at "running things," turning dirt into diamonds through his savvy eye for business: talking circles around stakeholders to pitch ideas for profitable investments; and upgrading already well-known establishments so they'd be more attractive to customers.

His whole shtick even in the books is that Lou knows how to modernize old AF institutions:

saving the DPDL Estate from bankruptcy

encouraging Babette to take charge of the Frenier Plantation (a woman taking charge of her own finances/property like a man; a revolutionary idea at the time when women weren't expected/allowed to work--hence another reason why prostitution was anathema in patriarchal/misogynist society; "Unorthodox business mind under that hat, Louis...lets a WOMAN count his coin!?" It gave women more agency/autonomy/freedom over their "POCKETBOOK!")

upgrading Tom's original Storyville (Fairplay → Azalea)

and ESPECIALLY modernizing Ancient Old World vampires Lestat & Armand

Ofc, the Problem Of Modernity is that it's a capitalist hellscape that exploits people. Louis IS problematic! He exploits prostitutes thru uneven wages (profiting off of "pure capitalism!") and economic inequality (financial harm). But he doesn't effing physically/sexually abuse them; or deny them agency/autonomy/freedom.

Lou being a pimp is NOT "proof" that he physically/sexually abused Armand; or denied him agency/autonomy/freedom like the LouAntis say, y'all.

Armand wasn't held at gunpoint & forced to hold that umbrella for Louis, or get face-down in the coffin. You clearly see Armand given plenty of screentime to pause, consider it, weigh his OPTIONS (yes or NO), and CHOOSE--and you see Louis RESPECT that time and respect Armand's agency/autonomy/freedom to say NO. (Lbr, wtf would LOUIS have been able to do to force 500 yr old ARMAND to do anything?)

Armand LETS himself be "used/exploited" by Louis to get back at Santiago & Lestat (the man). Louis THOUGHT he was exploiting Armand's guilt over selling him out to Santiago; just like he THOUGHT he was exploiting Santiago's ego, "what occupied one's time when one was ignorant of the plotting around him."

Louis: Let him feel like he's your heir apparent. He'll overplay his hand, and everyone will see him for what he is. And when they know they don't have an alternative, they'll beg for you back. And that's when you can decide if you want it back. Or you want something else. Armand: I want you. I want you more than anything in the world. Louis: You sure about that, Arun? Armand: Yes, Maitre.

The system was "rigged to burn!" Loumand's Maitre crap was strictly kink/BDSM roleplay--Louis had zero REAL power over Armand. LOUIS ends up in a effing coffin with rocks in his moth & ankles while his daughter & fledgling burn; and mindwiped for 77 effing years thinking Armand said "Banishment."

The power Louis has over his girls--AND Armand!--is NEGOTIATED, RESPECTED, and CONSENSUAL. Neither sex work nor BDSM roleplay are inherently abusive, but purity culture operates solely on denigrating any & everything that doesn't suit their contradictory morality standards--all while hollering that vampires are beyond human morality & shouldn't be judged; like, pick a stance already, ffs.

YES, Lou takes advantage of a misogynist culture that allows women to be sexually exploited. But y'all have spun Pimp!Louis into this demonic entity that's pimp-slapping Armand up & down Paris, SanFran & Dubai, taking that "would you like to sample" line WAY out of context (esp. by the Louis=Marius truthers about "donating")--knowing good & dang well he was just baiting Daniel; to throw Daniel off his game & play into the "Rashid" ruse that was ARMAND'S idea, so Daniel wouldn't know/remember his real name!

Armand is the only one with the power to choose to LET someone at his neck; just like he AGREED to get face-down in the coffin--he could've said NO & FROZE Louis or set him on FIRE or MIND-wiped him. That's real POWER, not stupid kinky rolePLAY! Louis' a piranha, but Armand's a effing megaladon!

There's only one REAL threat in that penthouse, and it's DANIEL. (Eff what Raglan James said about Louis "you should fear the other one" BS--RJ's another unreliable narrator who should NEVER be trusted; he's just here to steal bodies!) Armand was NEVER in any danger with Louis, and neither were Louis' girls.

Thank you, OP, for setting the record straight.

Louis the "Pimp": A Rebuke and Rebuttal

OK, IWTV fandom, I have been made aware that some (many) of you are genuinely not aware of some of the anti sex work implications of your statements around Louis and pimping, so -

First of all, some ground level assumptions: I am assuming we are all pro sex workers here. Which means that we all believe in the right for adults to consent to commercial sexualised labour, and to demand ethical working conditions just like any other worker. Sex work is work etc.

Now, that stance can and must coexist with the acknowledgement that sex work has both historically and currently been coerced from marginalised communities. In my part of the world, hereditary caste based sexual enslavement is an on-going atrocity, and similarly, in the United States Black enslaved people was disproportionatey victims of commercialised sexual abuse. (This is RELEVENT to Armand and Louis so it behoves everyone to inform themselves about these realities.)

What I'm saying now comes from the scholarship and testimonies of sex workers themselves, who have always been at the forefront of advocating for themselves as communities and unions. You can and should read through the publications of the Global Network of Sex Work Projects to ground yourself in these perspectives.

The idea that its ok to be a sex worker, but that a client or a pimp or a brothel owner deserves contempt, shaming or derison is an old one, associated with the dichotomy of pitable fallen women vs dispicable emasculated men (emasculated because of the patriarchal shame of a) paying for sex and b) living off of a woman's labour). This has manifested in what is known as the Nordic model (or, hypocritically, the Equality Model) of Prostitution, where sex workers themselves are deemed nominally free to practise their trade, but clients and third parties (pimps, managers, brothel owners) are criminalised. There is unambiguous peer-reviewed data showing the failure of this approach to protecting sex workers from harm, and almost every sex worker union has denounced it.

So now let's talk about this cultural and legal contempt and criminalisation of the third party, and specifically, the pimp figure. Unlike the brothel owner, the pimp is more often from a similar class and identity as the sex worker, often sharing the same living and working spaces. Pimps are often sex workers allies and collegeaues. They provide an interface between the client and the sex worker that can help screen them for safety and security, and the remove the additional burden of soliciting and marketing from the sex worker's labour.

And because it is important to talk about specifics, a pimp in marginalised communities of sex workers is often a brother, a father, or a lover to the sex worker who faces the same casteism, racism and classism that she does. He is often the father of the sex worker's child. In India, for example, even though prostitution itself is not criminal, any adult male living with a prostitute is assumed to be guilty of being a pimp unless he can prove otherwise, and can face imprisonment of up to 2 years with a fine. One of the demands of unionised sex workers, including those in India, has been to decriminalised pimping along with sex work, not just because pimps make it safer and easier for sex workers to get clients without having to actively solicit, but also because such criminalisation actively harms family units.

Of course, there are pimps who can be abusive and exploitative. This is true of any professional relationship, and this is also true of people in romantic and sexual relationships (like marriage). But to deem a pimp inherently as an abuser carries a lot of anti sex work and racist and classist baggage with it.

Why racist (and classist and casteist etc)? Because the men with capital were (and are) not often pimps. They are landlords and investors, who ran brothels and saloons and massage parlours and dance bars and other sites where sexual labour was commercialised. To denigrate a man for being a pimp as somehow worse than being the owner of a sweatshop or farm is a way of jeering at the men who have not been able to buy themselves the luxury of distance from the exploitation they profit from. And the men of capital were and are, overwhelmingly, those from the dominant identity (White. Savarna. etc.)

So NOW, with all that necessary context in mind, let's talk about Louis and what it means when fandom firstly calls him a pimp, and then second sneers at him for his perceived behavior as one.

You know who first calls Louis a pimp?

Daniel Molloy, a white man being the brash, confrontational journalist that he has the luxury of being.

Louis accurately describes his profession managing and operating a diversified portfolio of entireprises. This translates to investing his family's sizeable trust into real estate (he owns 8 out of 24 buildings on Liberty Street) and running establishments that make money from selling liquor, organised gambling and sex work. Just as not many Black men would have been in a position of power to make a profit from a sugar plantation as Louis' great grandfather did, not many Black men would have had the capital (and the business acumen) to own and operate a series of businesses that included sex work. Infact we see him collecting his profits from a white man who was closer to the pimp role - Finn.

Reducing this to calling him a pimp is the first of many racist microaggressions we will watch Daniel make. As someone who indulged in some kind of sex work himself, one might say some of Daniel's hostility is self-loathing. Nonetheless, there is a racialised element in his contempt towards both Louis and Armand that, I would theorise, comes from the distinction made between a white, educated man choosing to recreationally whore himself for drugs, and a Black man who earned a living from other people's sex work, or a Brown man who is perceived as a rent boy.

We then get to the idea of denigrating Louis' pimp-like behavior. First of all, let's look at Louis as the employer and manager of sex workers. Everything we have seen about him shows him to be courteous, considerate, and professional. His guilt at the entire situation of how sex work operates aside (and we can agree that it must have been exploitative and even abusive in general, and that he was complicit in such a system, as any capitalist is) - MOST importantly, we never see Louis doing the thing that patriarchy really resents a pimp for - sampling the goods for free. We never see him use his power over the sex workers he employs to get favours.

In fact he makes it clear that he visits Miss Lily precisely because she is part of a different establishment, and that both of them being Black in a majority white situation places them on a more equal footing. Watching Louis with Miss Lily, both is how he is with her sexually as well as socially, gives you the clearest evidence of how he behaves around sex workers he is having a relationship with. (Contrast that to Lestat, who buys her time and body as an act of one-upmanship with no concern for her preference, and then who kills her out of jealousy.)

So - Was Louis a pimp? No. Was Louis an abusive pimp? Also No.

Then why does the fandom continue to deploy this term in relationship to him?

It's racism, your honour. (The answer is almost always racism.)

To unpack this, lets jump forward from the 1910s where, again I remind you - very very few Black men in the United States were in any position to operate as fashionable brother owners with wealth to spare.

We now move to the 1980s, when one (but not the only!) sub-genre of rap was evolving - gangsta rap. In this sub-genre, Black musical artists like Too Short and Ice T were creating and more pertinently making accessible to white America, the signifier of the Black pimp figure. This drew from 1960s Black culture-making around West Coast pimps like Iceberg Slim, but also from an older storytelling tradition that linked the figure of the pimp with the archetype of the trickster. I'm not going to cite the wealth of literature you can find that theorises this, (nor defensively provide the mass of nuanced critique that Black feminists have offered) because the limited point I wish to make is -

When white America began enjoying (and appropriating) rap and hip-hop culture, one of the tropes it started perpetuating with the shallowest of understanding of its origins, was that of the specifically Black pimp. A figure who displayed wealth, but without (white-signifying) class, who was sexually active in a racialised hypermasculine way, but both a threat to women and contemptibly a leech off them.

THIS is the pimp archetype that is being evoked when fandom talks about Louis's 'pimp'ness.

It is racist. It is ahistorical and canonically unfactual.

It is also needlessly contemptuous of the sex workers (labourers and third parties alike) who are part of the community here on tumblr, so often praised as one of the spaces that is friendly to them.

Maybe think about all of that the next time you choose to use the word 'pimp'.

[forestlingincorporated]

Bernard Dowd

DC made me do it. Fandom made me do it. So here it is, the character retrospective I never thought I’d ever write. 

Bernard Dowd was introduced on December 17th, 2003, in Robin #121. Tim has recently transferred to Louis E. Grieve Memorial High School, his fourth school since his introduction when he was 13; Tim is 16 now, and was recently forced to drop out of Brentwood due to his father’s bad investments loosing them their upper class status. Jack and Dana Drake are still alive. 

Bernard Dowd is the first person Tim meets when transferring to this new school. Bernard picks him out of the crowd as new, and immediate tries to determine what Tim’s clique is, only to determine, as we all know, Tim is pretty much impossible to cleanly box. 

Bernard thinks very highly of himself. He views himself as also being above cliques, and wants to give Tim the impression that he’s “runs the school.” He thinks of himself as a cool guy, and he doesn’t like to be called “Bernie.” 

His attempts to befriend Tim are rather presumptive in a way that comes off as rude. He treats Tim like a lost little lamb in need of guidance. 

So, Tim ends up casual friends with Bernard. In fact, at this point in time, Tim says he’s his only friend at school. 

Bernard has a crush on fellow classmate and lowkey daughter of a crime boss, Darla Aquista. (Yes, that Darla Aquista, of TimSteph relationship drama fame.) He is the one to introduce Tim to Darla, and Tim embarrasses him by calling his bluff over whether or not he’d actually ask her out if her jock friends were removed from the picture. This is when you start to get the feeling Bernard might be all talk and bravado. He’s not the cool, confident, popular guy he makes himself out to be. 

After Tim looses Robin, he invites Bernard over for dinner with his family. His and Tim’s relationship seems... complicated. On the one hand, Tim likes him enough to invite him over to his house, and he’s probably Tim’s closest friend during a period of time when his other relationships are distant (friends at other schools) or cut entirely (the hero community). That said, Bernard is CLEARLY depicted as... skeezy, and skeezy about people in Tim’s life, in a way Tim doesn’t appreciate. 

Months later, if the passing of seasons is to be believed, Bernard is the person to inform Tim that there’s a new Robin. Tim seems to have a larger friend group at Louis E. Grieve, he’s worked out a friendship with Darla even though she still seems to have a slight crush on him, and seems to be friends with several of the footballers, but he still has time for Bernard. 

Bernard believes wild conspiracies that Batman works for a shadow government and owns secret orphanages full of Robins that only last for about three days before they die and get buried in secret government graveyards. 

We don’t see Bernard for a while after this. Darla Aquista is shot at school, dying in Tim’s arms. Stephanie Brown’s death is faked. Tim’s father dies, and his stepmother is in such mentally bad shape she has to be checked into a special clinic in Bludhaven, so Tim transfers to John Wayne High School, his fifth school since he was 13. 

A lot of shit goes down between the school shooting and the next (and last) time we see Bernard in Robin #140. He’s meeting up with a girl named Linda, when his vehicle is destroyed by none other than Darla Aquista, back from the dead as Warlock’s Daughter, who is looking for Tim. 

After she scares the shit out of him, they go to Gotham Grille for age-appropriate drinks, and Bernard tells her that the high school closed down after the shooting and all the students’ families received settlement money. With that money, Bernard attended an unnamed private school. 

He offers to help her become a superhero, which she turns down. While he’s pretty rude to Linda over the phone, he’s depicted softer here, He seems earnest in his desire to help Darla, even if he still has an underlying bit a selfishness. I personally feel like he comes off a little less like the Annoying Try Hard he started out as, and has a bit more Booster Gold-esque charm to him. 

But, we never see him again, after he helps her track down Tim’s new address with his Fake Uncle, so he was lost to the pile of Tim’s former normal boy friends to be forgotten. 

UNTIL BATMAN: URBAN LEGENDS! 

Right now, everyone is excited because Batman: Urban Legends #4′s been released and Tim Drake has some strong Might End Up Coming Out As MLM Soon? vibes. He’s got this Discovering New Things About Himself arc in this comic that’s framed in a very Gay Coded way. Focusing on a gay male couple with the dialog box “like me” over it, Barbara talking about how he’s afraid looking too deeply at himself might “change” him, stuttering over how his old friend “looks,” and of course this pseudo date he’s goes on with Bernard. 

I cannot actually analyze the whole comic in depth, because I don’t own it; I ordered the trade, so I won’t be receiving it until December. This is what I’ve gathered from screen shots of this comic alone. I don’t think Urban Legends is technically in the main canon, but I would not be surprised if this was a test to see how audiences respond - like Joker shooting Barbara Gordon in The Killing Joke (which isn’t canon) resulting in Barbara Gordon’s very canon paralysis. 

There’s some speculation at the moment that Bernard himself might actually be evil, or working for the bad guys. I think it’s equally possible he might be targeted by the bad guys, and not necessarily evil himself. But neither scenario would particularly surprise me, it seems unlikely he would be reintroduced as solely a potential love interest for Tim, if that is indeed the route they’re going down. Consider old flames of Bruce’s that get reintroduced, they’re often connected to the plot in some way. 

I... have not exactly sugar coated that I don’t like Bernard. Honestly, I AM trying to be fair. THIS Bernard seems lovely, from the screen caps, but my most recent experience with Bernard was a recent reread of the Robin series, and I just don’t find him historically likable. Some people may disagree, but I personally think some of those some people are maybe going back after reading THIS comic and rereading him with rose-tinted glasses he hasn’t quite earned. 

So, I personally am not going to start shipping this, at least not right now, though I am putting on my clown make up getting my hopes up that Tim might come out as gay or bi. I’m personally hoping he’s gay, but that’s just me seeing a lot of myself in Tim, and projecting my own experience with compulsory heterosexuality onto him, and I think it would be interesting to explore that with an established character. I would still be happy with bi/pan Tim Drake, and I think that would probably make the most people happy - fans of Tim’s opposite-sex ships get to win, and fans of Tim’s queer ships get to win, and bi/pan people would get a big name character as representation. What would make the most people angry, is if this ends up as a queerbait during Pride Month of all things. 

I... have no hope they might make him demisexual, I don’t know if DC even knows what that word means. 

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Two

*You Are My Favorite Distraction*

Louis had started Preserve Earth when he was 16 after saving most of every paycheck he had earned and also getting a loan with his mother's help. He then went through an array of product sourcing and planning and by age twenty he had products to offer local businesses. He started with cafés, small ones that didn't see a lot of traffic that would be easy to supply. With every yes, he got five no’s, but he didn't stop and had continued and had went back to his rejections and slowing grew. Then they had started going to busier cafés and small family-owned restaurants. Then he got more products and offered them to his customers.

Louis then bought land out in the rural area near London and built compost stalls and started offering compost bins to the cafés and restaurants who were willing to do the work to compost. Louis made laminated posted about what was and wasn't compostable and they hung them up near the compost bins and while there were of course mistakes they got fewer each time. Louis bought a truck and hauled compost bins every Monday to the land. He built a building on the land for the workers he hired and built a fence around it and started offering the composted to the farmers and greenhouse workers as well as florists.

He had a few farmers offer to help build more compost stalls when his were starting to fill up. Most of his income came from the compost for a while. Then he bought an old recycling center with the help of a small loan and put his company name and logo on it and hired employees there as well. Before he knew it, he had a real business. It was still small and still growing, but he was making good money and doing good, and he knew he had a lot more to do. So, he had talked to Zayn who had been secretly coming up with product designs and ideas behind Louis' back. He was stuck for a few years as he paid off loans and debts and focused on what he already had. He focused on growing his profit and money and then bought a small warehouse to have products shipped to and packaged from the manufacturer so he could have more storage space.

By twenty-three he had a real company, and his company was recognized, and he was being interviewed by small journalists. He hit a big leap when one of his new cafés became a chain with five cafés in London and had boasted about his products. Their customers also had apparently been posting about them and suddenly Louis had more offers than he could supply and had to turn some down with a promise of contacting them when he had more inventory. His small warehouse was turned into a large warehouse and his manufacturer was replaced with one closer to London that also used his recycled products, so Louis was just getting money back essentially.

He had to get lawyers and had to sign contracts and he had to trademark his items. Then he was opening his corporate office at twenty-five and became a millionaire at twenty-six as he opened his Manchester locations. More products, more customers, more employees, and more money. It was almost routine. He visited his compost locations and recycling center annually along with his Manchester and other locations. Then a few years later Manchester put a twenty-three-year-old in a Chief Officer position that was essentially the face of the company for the media. Louis was nervous he will admit that, but he trusted the President there and trusted his judgment and when he was asked about it by a few paparazzi outside his office he told them exactly that.

Harry Styles made his first press conference only a few days later and Louis watched it in his office live. The moment Harry stood up he understand immediately why he had been given the job. He was the most attractive man Louis had ever laid eyes on with his curly hair pushed back and his perfectly fitting navy-blue suit. Louis had gone to Manchester a few days later hoping to meet Harry in person but had been told he talking with a few journalists about the Manchester warehouse relocation. Each time he visited it seemed like Harry was busy or his office door was close which meant he was on the phone or didn't want to be interrupted. However, two years later no one could deny Harry was amazing for the job and Louis was proud to have him representing the Manchester branch so well.

Then suddenly during a live press conference about the new recycling center being built in Manchester Harry wore a pink suit. Which Louis hadn't really thought was an issue (well except that baby pink was such a lovely color for Harry's skin tone but that's not important). However, the very next day Harry was in the headlines for wearing said pink suit and Louis thought it was just a big joke. No one could honestly be upset about it, but they had been. Well, the older people had been, the ones in their forties and beyond. It had gotten to a point where Louis ordered every President to make a speech at the same time and sent them the exact words, he would be saying however they could switch it up if they wanted to. After his media officer had announced him, he had stood up on stage and defended his employee over his clothing choice.

"It's ridiculous that I have to make a press conference about this. It is ridiculous that one of my employees is being under fire for wearing a suit to work. With that I will say this as many times as I have to, to remind you all what this company stands for. Preserve Earth is an ecofriendly, recycling, biodegradable, and compostable company that is LGBT plus friendly. Our employees are encouraged to wear whatever they feel comfortable in as long as it is appropriate for their position. We encourage all of our employees to be their authentic selves and to be whoever they want to be and to wear whatever they wish to wear. The Chief Media Officer dress policy states and I quote, "The Chief Media Officer must wear business formal attire during press releases that will be aired on television. They are not required, but are encouraged to have their skirts, if they so choose to wear them, at their knee. However, they are allowed to wear them to their thighs, miniskirts are not allowed it must be two to three inches below the bottom. This is to prevent cameras from getting inappropriate shots of a person as they bend, squat, walk up or down stairs, or sit down this is not an act to prevent 'distractions' in the workplace. The Chief Media Officer is required to wear business casual attire to work unless told otherwise." With that said Mr. Styles did not break dress code policy and therefore will not be 'held responsible'. Mr. Styles has done an amazing job representing this company for the Manchester area and has proven himself time and time again. Only a mere few years ago every single one of you were doubting his abilities to do this job and he has proven himself to be valuable and has been offered multiple jobs by multiple companies all around the world. Since you have all forgotten that in less than a weeks’ time let me remind you that Mr. Styles has not once been in a controversial situation despite his young age. He has help grow the Manchester company through interviews and press releases. His suit color does not diminish his work ethic or his past contributions to this company and I will not tolerate any of my employees to feel like they can't wear a certain color because society has feminized it to a point of a man wearing it is wrong or takes away his masculinity. Mr. Styles can wear a bright pink glittery suit to a press conference, and I promise you he will do his job just as great as he did it in a plain black suit. I don't see any headlines about my female workers wearing blue or red even though it's considered male colors so don't you dare make a headline about my male workers wearing pink or lavender or pastel. Whatever it is as long as it is appropriate it is allowed and there will be absolutely no criticism from me or anyone else working under my name. Anyone who disagrees may quit and leave. That is all."

Louis may had said too much but he didn't care. How dare they question Harry's work performance because of a damn color. (Louis refused to admit his small (*big*) crush on Harry was the reason). A few days after that Louis was informed, they were about to run out of products due the younger generation buying everything that they offered to customers. He had gone on social media and found that despite the older generation not liking Harry's suit choice the younger and his generation in fact loved it and was all for it. They had both gone viral apparently and Louis was honestly shocked the youth cared so much. He had always thought they were too stuck in their phones to care but he was glad to know that despite their flaws they were very progressive and very much about LGBTQ+ acceptance and the community. 

Louis had never hidden the fact that he was a gay man. Had always told interviewers he was gay whether or not they included it wasn't any of his concern. His employees knew he was gay, and his customers knew, his public profiles labeled himself as gay in the bios, he went to pride every year. They sold at pride and fairs and the website even stated they were supportive of whomever their customers and employees wanted to be. Louis didn't think about it, but he was sort of the one of the few openly gay CEOs and the youth was right that he and Harry was an example of sexual orientation not defining your work ethic or worth. It was a nice feeling when Louis thought about it, that he was a leader for the youth in a way. 

Louis then found out how well the social media profiles he had agreed to were doing. He had called the Manchester president and after learning that it had even Harry's idea and Harry's work, he had asked him to have Harry write down everything. It was proving to be a great idea of connecting with the community and the youth. When he gotten the list and links, he sent forwarded it to the Presidents of the other branches and after a few weeks of organizing each branch location had their own social media accounts. The ones in charge of them all took tips from Harry's page of course and it had really helped to grow business.

Years passed and though his crush on Harry never went away, he was able to reel it in some. He continued working and expanding and along the way he slowly stopped visiting his corporate branches and instead focused on visiting his customers, compost fields, compost field customers, recycling facilities, the partners who bought from his recycling facilities, his warehouses, and his manufacturing factories.

Then his Manchester President was retiring and being replaced with the COO Jeffery Fitz and things...shifted. It was a slow shift, one no one caught until it was too late and when Louis had questioned Eleanor, his Chief Networking Officer, she claimed they never sent an email until the other day Louis had reached without thinking and headed for Manchester with them. He didn't stop and think about Eleanor's past work issues or her multiple warnings. He didn't think about how she was hardly seen working or how he had to asks her for reports five times before he received them. No all he thought about was that for the first time in his entire twenty plus years of running this company one of his branches was completely broke and had to be temporarily shut down and he was going to have to do something to stop good people from going without work.

He had stormed into the building told Eleanor to find the Networking officer while he dealt with Fitz. When he found the Networking officer, he yelled at him without even thinking or asking or talking first. He just started yelling despite Liam Payne being rewards by the last president for amazing work. Then to make it all worse while he was yelling Harry had entered and yelled at him. Which took him by surprise. Then Harry continued to yell and call him out and despite it all being too overwhelming to comprehend he was definitely turned on which was completely inappropriate and not at all what he needed his body to do. He needed his body to form words and sentenced and apologize not send blood to his cock and make it hard.

To make it all worse after he had finally gotten every little, microscopic detail and apologized to Liam and explaining himself better to the guy. He had just shrugged it off and said the real challenge he would be Harry. Which was not how he wanted to start their acquaintanceship off with. An acquaintanceship that would turn into a friendship that turned into a relationship that turned into a marriage because that was Louis' end goal once he had Harry in London. Hopefully.

Which was not what he needed to be thinking about as he paced the conference room trying to come up with a plan for all of the employees who have stuck around through terrible management and who have been fired unjustly. Also, he was fairly sure Harry hated him which was not okay for their future marriage working relationship. Yes...that was what he meant. Louis was pulled from his thoughts by the door opening and when he turned, he saw it was Harry coming in carrying a few files and his laptop in his arm. He set the items down upfront of a chair as he started speaking.

"I have the media coming in five hours I figured that would give us plenty of time to discuss everything. I also have a list of the employees here who have kids or would just be an inconvenience to be relocated except for Liverpool. I also have the positions they had worked in and filled in for. Then I have a list of the corporate offices that have positions opened. There's only twelve of us after all it should be pretty easy to relocate everyone in a position similar to theirs. Liverpool alone has eight openings for chief positions or office positions. I also have a list of potential questions the nosey ones will ask they will sit in the back and will not pay attention and so the questions will be very pointless so good luck with that." Harry said as he handed a few papers over to Louis who stared at them in shock.

"You did all this in two hours?" Louis asked.

"No if I had two hours, I would have had your answers typed out for you I did all this in forty-five minutes. Did anyone make new tea? Seriously even the Irish one makes better tea than the brit boy. He drinks coffee by the way can you believe that? What a traitor." It took a second for Louis to follow the sudden change of conversation then he looked to Carrie, his assistant who looked just as lost as he felt.

“What.” Louis said completely confused.

“Exactly. So, tea?”

“Yeah…yes…yes I made some.” Carrie hurried out, “I’m sorry, but don’t these usually fall into the assistant’s job, or I guess Liam’s.”

“If you want them done horribly sure. Liam is great at a lot of things; organization is not one of them. Believe me I live with the guy you do not want that man making up a list. He’s great at leadership though if he just stops relying on me all the time that is. Would make an excellent President if he just starts to believe in himself a bit more.”

“I think you’d make a great one.”

“No. I am good with the media position. I love where I am and what I do.”

“You’re probably the only one who actually said that today.” Carrie told him.

“I have no doubt about that. If you think about it, I created the Brand job, so the Brand Officer was always my duty anyway. Communications and Content falls inline with Media. It just has a few more extra bits and bobs. The only one that I wasn’t already doing was customer, but that was an easy add in. I get why we have them in different positions, but I personally think it could definitely be managed by one or two people with the same title or similar.” Harry explained.

“Hey, don’t look at me every President is in charge with who they hire and what positions they choose. I’m quite sure Fitz just signed everyone everything that seemed remotely similar and gave you all extra work to keep you busy.” Louis said raising his hand when Carrie looked at him, “I have two Chief Media Officers and they share the entirety of the responsibilities. I then have a Chief Customer Officer who handles customer relationship and monitors the customer communications about the company.”

“I could live without the customer stuff pretty sure I can only handle it because I worked in the customer call center on the second floor back in London for over a year.” Louis furrowed his brow for a moment before his eyes widen and he grinned.

“Holy shit that was so long ago. I forgot the call center was located on the second floor.”

“It’s not anymore?” Harry asked as he sat down across from Carrie.

“No Patrick kept telling me his best worker was complaining about the elevator and that we should move it to the empty room on the fourth floor, so the elevator wasn’t directly by workers on the phone. When we finally moved it, Patrick said the worker left.”

“That was me and I do not apologize for that either.” Harry said laughing.

“Wait the call center was on the second floor?” Carrie questioned.

“Yes, and the thing is the second floor was a perfect spot for a call center like it was wide and there was no weird echo and there was a bathroom as well as a few vending machine hookups for snacks. However, the elevator shaft didn’t have a fucking door on it, and it was the only floor that didn’t have a shaft door. Now imagine you’re on the phone with a customer who thinks she knows more about the company than you do and you’re really fucking irritated and you’re biting you’re tongue alright. Now imagine the loudest banging on metal you have ever heard then multiple that by a thousand and that was the elevator twenty times an hour. My desk was literally six feet diagonal from the open shaft. The number of times I almost walked out of that job was unbelievable.”

“To be fair I didn’t realize how loud that thing was until I went down there myself and was talking to Patrick when it happened.” Louis defended, “Also I was in the process of getting a door for it, but it the room had to be empty, and I had to arrange for you all to be somewhere else with the phones. It was an awfully long process to get everything sorted and ready for installation.”

“It was horrible, and I also worked in the recycling facility for two weeks before I quit and went to the packaging warehouse.”

“How long have you worked for this company?” Carrie asked.

“Half my life. I started at sixteen in the composting field had a grand ole time back then. Thought it was coolest thing ever. Then at eighteen I switched to the recycling center and stay for two weeks then I quit because I was terrible at it, I don’t know why. Just wasn’t my thing. Then I went to the packaging warehouse then I went to the call center and then I graduated and left London to work under the Media Officer here before me. Then he left for Liverpool, and I took over. Seventeen years in total.”

“Pretty sure the only one who beats that is Zayn who has been with me since the beginning. I only had products for nineteen years. You started working around the time I started hiring.”

“My family owns a farm near where you built your first compost stalls from. We usually did our own composting, but my parents always believed in helping small businesses especially ones with such a good goal. He stopped by and helped a few times making sure they were layering it correctly. He would tell me which compost bin had the most potential when he sent me up to get some so that way, I wouldn’t bring home the shitty stuff.” Harry said laughing at the end of it making Louis’ jaw drop in shock.

“It would have worked either way he’s just very particular about his dirt for his crops can’t blame the man for wanting good dirt for the food that feeds his family. He even told the neighbors bout you. He would send me to work in the compost field with little bags of old crops I had to sneak into the bins when no one was looking. He told me if I was caught to tell them I found them in the bins like that and I was getting the bags out.”

“You little shit.”

“Sorry?” Harry offered giggling clearly not at all sorry for his actions.

“What are we laughing about lads?” Liam asked entering the room.

“Remember when our father would send me to work in the compost field with our old rotten crops?”

“Oh yeah you were so worried about getting caught.” Liam said as he sat beside Harry, “My father would send the rotten food to Harry’s father and Harry’s father would send it off with Harry and Harry would come home telling us all about his victory of sneaking in the compost.”

“Wait this was a regular thing?” Louis asked.

“Every day. Our dads weren’t going to pay to put our waste in the compost we were buying mate. Be lucky they paid for it all I’m pretty sure they had Harry sneak a few handfuls back home a few times.”

“Innocent until proven guilty.” Harry said with raised hands as Louis shook his head chuckling, “But to be fair the social media idea I came up with, if I had stolen bags of compost, it’s all been paid back plus interest so...you’re welcome.”

Louis was definitely looking forward to working with Harry and Liam down in London, if nothing else just to have people who obviously have a great sense of humor and aren’t afraid to think Louis as a person instead of as the boss. They stopped their conversation as more people started to come in the room for the meeting.

[torontohypnotherapist]

OCTOBER 23 — GEORGE GURDJIEFF QUOTES

IT IS THAT SOMETHING FOR WHICH WE WILL SACRIFICE ALMOST ANYTHING RATHER THAN THAT IT SHOULD SUFFER

Some of us younger pupils [at Mr. Gurdjieff's Institute] tried to formulate for ourselves vanity and self-pride.

When we said, ‘My pride was hurt’, or ‘She or he is as vain as a peacock’, what did we understand by it? The consensus was that, in its bad aspect, self-pride, or self-esteem or self-love, was an overweening opinion one had about the qualities or attainments that one had been born with or had acquired; an ignorant presumption that the qualities of the organism are due to merit, and that consideration should be given to us by others on this account. When someone failed to give us our due, something in our feelings was hurt and we suffered accordingly. From a certain aspect, Self-Pride or Mr Self-Love was the active part; Madame Vanity belonged to the passive feminine part in us. But vanity was even more difficult to define. Orage said, ‘It is that something for which we will sacrifice almost anything rather than that it should suffer.’

Perhaps it is not possible to define vanity except by examples; we can see its manifestations in others, but to see them in ourselves—at the time, and not afterwards—is almost impossible. In times of mass psychosis these two enemies, vanity and self-love, are intensified. On one occasion in the war the commanding officer of my battalion sacrificed, from vanity, the lives of twenty men rather than admit that he was wrong. In another sense vanity is the expenditure of time, energy, and money on what is essentially worthless and useless; the expectation of lasting benefit from the things of this world. ‘Vanity, vanity, all is vanity, saith the Preacher.’ Joseph Conrad said: ‘Vanity plays lurid tricks with our memory.’ Rochefoucauld: ‘Vanity causes us to do more things against our inclination than does reason.’ Tolstoy: ‘Life without vanity is almost impossible.’ Shakespeare: ‘Vanity keeps persons in favour of themselves who are out of favour with all others.’

‘Vanity,’ Somerset Maugham has written, ‘is the most devastating, the most universal and the most ineradicable of the passions that afflict the soul of man, and it is only vanity that makes him deny its power. It is more consuming than love. With advancing years, mercifully, you can snap your fingers at the terror or the servitude of love, but age cannot free you from the thralldom of vanity. Time can assuage the pangs of love, but only death can still the anguish of wounded vanity. Love is simple and seeks no subterfuge, but vanity cozens you with a hundred disguises. It is part and parcel of every virtue; it is the mainspring of courage and the strength of ambition; it gives constancy to the lover and endurance to the stoic; it adds fuel to the fire of the artist’s desire for fame, and it is at once the support and the compensation of the honest man’s integrity; it even leers cynically in the humility of the saint. You cannot escape it, and should you take pains to guard against it, it will make use of those very pains to trip you up. You are defenceless against its onslaught because you know not on what unprotected side it will attack you. Cynicism cannot protect you from its snares nor humour from its mockery. It is vanity finally that makes man support his abominable lot.’

~ CS Nott “The Teachings of Gurdjieff - A Pupil's Journal” ...

ONLY DONKEY WORK EIGHT HOURS

When he [Gurdjieff] heard I was going to the Hospital de St. Louis to study, “Nerves are pipes—like those for electricity and radio. Remember this when you study. For earning money your articles, only four hours must work if intelligent—only donkey work eight hours. But study is different—forty-four hours a day study, because is bank for future.”

~ "Gurdjieff and the Women of the Rope" ...

IN DISTANT TIMES THERE EXISTED A REAL KNOWLEDGE

QUESTION: Does Mr. Gurdjieff view the Institute as something experimental? That is, is one of Mr. Gurdjieff's aims the acquiring of some knowledge through the Institute? Or is it the putting into practice of a system that he has already completed during his life?

GURDJIEFF: The putting into practice of a system I completed during my life, but at the same time there are also other aims.

QUESTION: Why does Mr. Gurdjieff put so much emphasis on physical, work? Is it temporary or permanent?

GURDJIEFF: Temporary. For most of the people now gathered in the Institute, the physical work is indispensable, but it is only a period of the whole plan of the Work.

QUESTION: Is the attainment of any kind of occult possibilities one of the subjects of this “education”?

GURDJIEFF: Truth is one. It existed always and is as old as the world itself.

In distant times there existed a real knowledge, but owing to all kinds of life circumstances, political and economic, it was lost, and only fragments of it remain. These remains I collected with other people. We learned of them and found them through people, monuments, customs, literature, our own experiments, comparisons and so on.

~ "Gurdjieff's Early Talks 1914-1931" ...

THERE MUST BE A STRUGGLE

YT: Something is becoming increasingly clear. There is no doubt that I manage more and more to feel this separation, even if it is not always external. If it is certain that the 'I' and the me’ are separate, I become more and more aware of the strength of the me’, to the point that I sometimes feel crushed by it. One could say that the ‘me’ becomes stronger when I make this separation. On the other hand, if ‘I’ is clear and often present, I see how weak it is.

GURDJIEFF: Take a task. When you eat, two or three times a day, eat as you usually do, but never get up from the table full. There must be a noticeable difference; there must be a struggle. Do not eat the last bite. In a week you will say whether or not this makes a difference. You must not fast, but there must be a struggle. Fifteen minutes later you will be full.

~ “G. I. GURDJIEFF — Paris Meetings 1943”