#i feel like he genuinely doesn't want to be pope even with that

[grabyourpillow]

I've been thinking about the moment Lawrence tells Bellini about his papal name "John. I would choose John".

On one hand the words of Conclave writer Peter Straughan bounce around in my head like a windows xp saving screen: "Lawrence admits he has harbored that ambition, that he has prepared his name. It's true what Bellini said about him. It's true about all of them -- except for one person, of course."

And on the other hand it's such a tender little moment. Lawrence could just, not say it and retain the moral high ground literally forever. And as always, always, he chooses to step down, and comfort his longtime confident and friend by looking at him, holding his hands and telling him "look. I'm down here in the muck with the rest of you. With you." And also, perhaps even more importantly "you did not read me wrong. You do, know me."

Going insane

[rafestify]

need a rafe fic please where reader is part of the pogues, her and rafe have been on and off for forever obviously due to everything he’s done but deep down he’s so down bad for reader and maybe she’s pregnant instead of sarah and he doesn’t find out until morocco because the pogues are hovering over her idk angst fluff whatever you feel!!!

Two lines — Rafe Cameron

Summary : Fem!Reader is pregnant with Rafe’s baby, but he doesn't know until pope accidentally mentions her baby (season 4 ep 10 spoilers!! ⚠️)

Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Warnings : mentions of vomiting & language (english is not my first language)

A/N : as requested 😉 hope u like it anon!

Two lines, and the father was long gone, off doing god knows what. Rafe was the last guy I'd hooked up with, and even after we broke up, we somehow kept finding our way back to each other, especially after the Kildare Enduro. He knew no one else could satisfy me the way he did, and so it became this endless cycle, break up, hook up, make up. What Rafe didn’t know was that I was pregnant. I hadn’t planned on telling him, at least not until we made up.

There I was, back on Rafe’s boat with my friends, setting off to Morocco in search of the Blue Crown and Chandler Groff. My friends had locked Rafe up, tying him up in a small room, just in case. We all knew better than to trust Rafe Cameron, not after everything he’d done.

I walked into the dimly lit room, carrying a tray with a glass of water, a plate of food, and a couple of aspirin for his black eye. The sight of him, bruised, tugged at something deep inside me.

“Here,” I murmured, setting the tray down on the table beside him. “I brought some aspirin, just in case you’re feeling dizzy or something…”

He snorted, cutting me off. “What? You’re just gonna throw it in my mouth like I’m a fuckin' seal?” He wasn’t exactly wrong, but his sharp tone made me bristle. “Nobody trusts you, Rafe,” I replied, my voice steady. “Not after what you did.”

His jaw tightened, and a flash of anger sparked in his eyes. “I saved your asses!” he shot back, his face flushing with frustration. “And not even a thank you was said.”

I took a slow breath, steadying myself. “I know, Rafe. I know,” I said softly. “Thank you, really.” I offered him a small, sincere smile.

He looked at me for a moment, his gaze softening just slightly. “You trust me, right?” he asked, his voice quieter, a bit more vulnerable. I bit down on my lip, feeling the pull he always seemed to have on me.

“Yeah,” I admitted, almost reluctantly. God, he knew exactly how to get to me.

He looked at the ropes binding his wrists and nodded toward them. “Then untie me. Get this shit off me.”

I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt but holding my ground. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my resolve. “Just… eat the food. We wouldn’t want you dying in here.” With that, I turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind me, leaving me with a sigh that I didn’t even realize I’d been holding back.

As I stepped out of the room, I was met by Kiara’s anxious expression, her arms folded tightly as she waited. The moment she saw me, her face softened slightly, though worry still flickered in her eyes.

"How’d it go?" she asked quietly, as if afraid to hear the answer.

I shrugged, trying to mask the mixture of emotions stirring inside me. "Same old Rafe," I replied, keeping my tone light, but my gaze drifted, unable to meet hers directly.

Kiara studied me for a moment before speaking again. "Soo... did you tell him?"

I frowned, genuinely puzzled. "Tell him what?"

She raised an eyebrow, giving me a pointed look. "That you’re pregnant, with his child."

Oh, right. That one.

I swallowed, feeling a sudden knot in my stomach. "Uh—no, not yet," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. "I just… I don’t know how he’d react." My hands found each other, my fingers nervously fidgeting as I tried to imagine how that conversation would even go. "What if he doesn’t want to keep the baby?"

Kiara sighed softly and reached out, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Her warmth grounded me, pulling me back from my spiraling thoughts. "Look," she said firmly, her gaze locking onto mine. "You have us. We’ll help you through every single part of this. That’s what friends are for, right?"

I looked at her, the tension in my chest easing slightly. Her words held a strength that I so desperately needed. "Yeah," I whispered, a small smile breaking through my worry. "Thank you, Kie."

She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and for a moment, the uncertainty and fear faded. In her embrace, I felt a flicker of hope—a reminder that I wouldn’t have to face this alone.

After battling fierce winds and waves, we finally arrived in Essaouira. The coastal city spread before us, its whitewashed buildings with blue shutters gleaming under softened storm light. Narrow streets twisted through the medina, lined with shops selling handmade crafts and drenched in a timeless, rustic charm.

The Atlantic crashed against the ancient medina walls, sturdy and weathered, while blue fishing boats bobbed in the harbor—just like the skiffs in the Outer Banks. The salty air and easy warmth of the locals, the slow rhythm of the sea, and the hum of daily life brought back memories of home, as if Essaouira was a Moroccan echo of the Outer Banks.

We continued to wander through the narrow streets of Essaouira, the sound of bustling market vendors and the distant call of seagulls filling the air. John B and Sarah led the way, their steps light and carefree, like they had no care in the world. Following behind them was Cleo, Pope, and Kiara, their conversations flowing easily as they walked, with JJ and I bringing up the rear. But it was Rafe who trailed behind, his presence almost ghostlike, like a lost puppy, following silently in our wake.

As we strolled through the maze of alleyways, I felt a sudden, sharp wave of nausea hit me. It was sudden, and intense, as if something in my stomach was threatening to rise up. I let out a soft huff, pressing my hand to my stomach, trying to hold back the overwhelming feeling of sickness.

JJ, who had been walking beside me, must've noticed the change in my posture because he looked at me with concern. "Y/N?" he called, his voice laced with worry.

"Oh god," I muttered under my breath, the nausea worsening, my head spinning.

"What's wrong? You okay?" JJ asked, his voice low, concern evident on his face.

I shook my head, barely able to focus on him. "No... I need to sit," I said, my voice strained. I felt like I was going to collapse if I didn’t stop moving.

JJ quickly guided me to a pile of carpets that were stacked outside a shop. The soft fabric felt like a relief under me as I sat down, trying to steady my breathing. The rest of the group quickly noticed, and soon I was surrounded by their concerned faces. Kiara dropped to her knees in front of me, her eyes searching mine, her hand resting on my knee in a comforting gesture.

"What's up? What are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft and filled with genuine concern.

"I'm really nauseous," I managed to answer, my hand covering my mouth, just in case. I didn’t trust myself to hold it down any longer.

Cleo, who had been standing off to the side, stepped forward, her arms crossed over her chest. "She probably needs food. It’s been like two days..or what?" she said, her voice tinged with practicality.

"Yeah, the baby’s probably hungry too," Pope added, offering a casual shrug, as if it was just an obvious conclusion.

I froze, my stomach twisting. The mention of "the baby" caught me off guard, and suddenly, all eyes turned to me. Rafe, who had been hanging back, still distant, looked like he was suddenly paying attention. His gaze shifted from me to Pope and then back to me, his brow furrowing.

"What baby?" Rafe asked, his voice sharp, as if something about the situation didn't sit right with him.

Oh god, here we go.

Pope went silent, and I could feel the tension rise in the air, thickening around us. I glanced up at Rafe, who was now standing a few feet away, looking at me with an expression that was hard to read. His eyes narrowed as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.

"No, seriously, what baby?" he repeated, his voice insistent, even stern now.

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over me. There was no easy way to say it, but it had to be said. "I’m pregnant, Rafe," I said quietly, locking eyes with him. "With your baby."

The words hung in the air between us, like they were too heavy to carry. For a long moment, Rafe didn’t say anything. He just stood there, silent, his expression unreadable. The others were watching him closely, waiting for a reaction, but he remained eerily still.

I could feel the tension growing, an awkwardness settling in the space around us, as if everything had just shifted. My hands were shaking slightly, not from the nausea anymore, but from the weight of what had just been revealed. And Rafe, he was just staring at me, his mouth slightly parted but no words coming out.

"Go get her something to eat," Rafe suddenly snapped, his voice cutting through the tension that still hung thick in the air.

Without another word, he dug through his small waist bag, the leather creaking under his movements. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but then, with a small grunt of satisfaction, he pulled out a wad of cash—several bills, all stacked neatly together. As he unfolded them, I saw that he had about $400 in his hand, a small fortune for street vendors in Essaouira.

"Wait what?" JJ’s voice broke the moment of disbelief. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "They don’t take dollars, you idiot—"

"I said go," Rafe interrupted sharply, his tone hardening. There was no room for argument, no sign of hesitation in his voice. It was almost as if he was trying to regain some control over the situation, and in doing so, he completely dismissed JJ’s protests. His words were a command, not a suggestion.

The rest of us exchanged uneasy glances, the shift in Rafe’s demeanor catching everyone off guard. But without further discussion, John B, Sarah, Cleo, Pope, and Kiara reluctantly turned to start walking back toward the market, their steps unsure but obedient. JJ hesitated for a moment, clearly frustrated by Rafe’s abruptness, but eventually followed along as well.

Rafe’s eyes lingered on me for a second, his expression unreadable. He stood still for a moment longer, his gaze momentarily drifting over to the group before returning to me. He didn’t say anything else. His words had been clear, and I could tell that something about the situation had shifted for him.

"I don’t care whether you want the baby or not, but I’m keeping them," I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. My heart pounded in my chest, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. The truth was, I had made up my mind. I had to keep the baby, and nothing anyone said or did would change that. Not even Rafe.

Rafe’s eyes widened at my declaration, and for a moment, he just stood there, staring at me, his face unreadable. Then, he kneeled down, and he let out a sharp breath. "Hey, hey, hey—who said I don’t want to keep the baby?" His voice was calm, but there was an underlying tension to it, as if my words had hit a nerve.

I blinked, caught off guard by his response. The words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, and I wasn’t sure what to say next. His eyes were fixed on me now, intense, searching. It felt like something was shifting between us, and I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it.

"We’ll take care of them," Rafe continued, his tone softening just a fraction. "I’ll be with you throughout the whole journey, Y/N. You’re not doing this alone." His voice held a kind of resolve, as if he had already decided, as if he was offering something that felt almost too good to be true.

For a split second, it felt like the world around me had stopped moving. The noise from the market faded into the background, and all I could hear was the steady beat of my own heart. The words he said felt surreal, like they were echoing in my head. "I’ll be with you, 'aight?"

I blinked again, almost feeling like I was in a dream, like I had slipped into some alternate reality where everything suddenly made sense. But when I looked at Rafe, his gaze never wavering from mine, I felt a wave of disbelief wash over me. It felt like a nap dream, a momentary illusion that would disappear when I woke up.

"What?" I said, my voice coming out in a whisper of disbelief. "Sorry—"

Rafe seemed unbothered by my shock. He placed his hands on my knees, his movements deliberate. "You heard me, Y/N." His words were firm, and there was no mistaking the sincerity in them.

For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us was thick with unspoken thoughts, and I could feel the weight of what he had just said settle in my chest. It was almost too much to process. I had always expected Rafe to pull away, to make this harder for me. But here he was, standing before me with something I hadn’t expected, a promise. A promise to be there. A promise to face this together.

My mind spun, trying to make sense of it. I glanced away for a moment, as if hoping the world would shift and reveal the truth. But when I looked back at him, his expression hadn’t changed. He was still looking at me with those steady, unwavering eyes.

"You’re serious," I murmured more to myself than to him.

Rafe didn’t flinch. "Yeah," he said simply, as if there was nothing more to discuss, as if the decision had already been made. "I’ll be there for you. For us."

For the first time, I didn’t know what to say. My heart was still racing, but for a different reason now. There was a part of me that wanted to believe him, to hold on to this moment, to trust that things might actually be okay. But there was also a part of me that was terrified of what this all meant, of how my life was about to change in ways I couldn’t predict.

I stared at him in utter disbelief, barely able to process the reality unfolding before me. It felt like some kind of miracle. My vision began to blur as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, the emotions welling up and spilling over, probably caused by the pregnancy hormones, but I couldn’t stop them. I tried to blink them away, but they only gathered faster, until a warm tear rolled down my cheek.

Rafe’s expression softened when he noticed, his gaze never leaving mine. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close in a way that felt so natural, so steady. He didn’t hesitate for a second, and his embrace was warm, reassuring, holding me together when I felt like I was on the edge of falling apart, and God, it felt good to be back in his arms.

His hand rubbed gentle circles on my back as he murmured, “We’re gonna be parents.” His voice was soft, filled with awe and disbelief, as if he was speaking the words for the first time and couldn’t quite believe them either.

I nodded against his chest, clutching onto him as tightly as I could. The weight of his words settled over us, the reality of what lay ahead, and as much as I wanted to be brave, I couldn’t shake the fear that started to consume my mind. I let out a shaky breath, my voice coming out in a whisper, “I’m scared, Rafe.” The words felt small, vulnerable, but they were the truth.

He pulled back just enough to look at me, his hands gently cupping my face as his thumbs brushed away the stray tears still slipping down my cheeks. “I know,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I am scared too.” There was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that mirrored my own, a glimmer of uncertainty about the unknown future that lay ahead.

“But we’re in this together,” he continued, his voice growing stronger, as if he was convincing himself as much as he was reassuring me. “I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what’s coming… but I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, closing the space between us. “I’ll be there every step of the way.”

His words washed over me, filling some hollow place I hadn’t realized was empty. In that moment, his presence felt like a lifeline, pulling me out of my fears, giving me a glimpse of something that felt almost like hope. The future was terrifying, yes, but it felt a little less daunting with him by my side.

I looked up at him, my voice steadying as I replied, “I’m glad it’s you.” And as I said the words, I realized just how much I meant them.

He offered me a small, crooked smile, a warmth in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. “We’re gonna figure this out together,” he promised. “One step at a time.”

I nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. And in that moment, held in his arms, I felt a little less afraid.

Suddenly, as if on cue, the rest of the group appeared, each carrying an assortment of food and drinks. It was almost comical, watching them return all at once, each of them holding something different, John B with a handful of pita bread, Cleo balancing a bowl of yogurt, JJ carrying bottled water, and Sarah clutching a small bag of fruit, including a shiny red apple that she immediately extended toward me.

“Here,” Sarah said softly, her face easing with relief as she offered the apple. I took it gratefully, feeling the cool skin of the fruit in my hand, and took a tentative bite. The crisp, sweet flavor flooded my senses, soothing the nausea that had been twisting in my stomach. They watched with eager anticipation, and as they saw me begin to nibble, their worried expressions started to relax.

“Feeling better now?” Pope asked, his voice gentle but laced with concern as he studied my face.

I swallowed another bite and nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. “Yeah, yeah… thank you,” I replied, glancing at each of them.

They exchanged glances, visibly relieved, and a sense of warmth spread through me as I looked around at their familiar faces, each one showing their own brand of care. I realized then just how much I’d come to rely on them, not just as friends, but as family. I felt a comforting wave of gratitude for each of them, knowing they’d been there for me without question, supporting me in ways I hadn’t even thought possible.

As I took another sip of water, Rafe moved a little closer to me, his hand resting gently on my thigh. His touch was subtle, but the gesture was enough to let me know he was still there, holding his promise to stay by my side. There was something calming in his presence now, something steadying that I hadn’t noticed before.

The others began chatting among themselves, sharing their own stories of haggling with the vendors, laughing about who’d paid the most for what they’d brought. They were giving Rafe and me a moment, I realized, a chance to talk without the pogues’ attention fixed on us.

Rafe leaned down slightly, his face level with mine, his voice low and steady. “You really okay?” he asked, his hand still warm on my thigh.

I took a deep breath, the initial dizziness and nausea fading, leaving behind a feeling of clarity I hadn’t expected. “Yeah, I think so." I paused, looking up into his eyes.

He smiled, a soft, almost vulnerable expression, and for a moment, he seemed like a different Rafe—one who wasn’t weighed down by pride or bravado. “That's good” His voice was filled with a sincerity that softened something inside me. "Don't want our little one and her mommy to starve, do we?" He smiled making me let out a low chuckle.

In this quiet moment, I knew, deep down, that I wouldn’t want anyone else to be the father of my child. Everything just felt right. Despite all the chaos, the ups and downs, there was a steady comfort in knowing me and Rafe would face it together.

likes and reblogs are appreciated! 🐇

>゜))彡 taglist — @rafecamerons-national-anthem @ts1mp0ne @vheavxly @enjoymyloves @tv-girllover07 @husherstan @smthabsolutelyunhinged @multisection @onlyrealjoy @hoelesslyt @nina357

[pintrestgrl]

you said angst so... jj x kook!reader JJs starts pushing pogues and reader away and when reader tries to get through to JJ, he says awful things to reader hitting her/them below the belt by bringing up her trauma and the fact she/they are a kook. maybe she completly ices him and the pogues out(bc the pogues forgave him) and start hanging out with kooks. maybe the topper/rafe/kelce trio to really drive home she doesn't care about them anymore. maybe she's even there when pope and jj get beat up? IDK i thought this up off the top of my head. i don't reader crying in the shower heartbreaking sob fest angst. also i left what her supposed trauma up to you bc i don't know how far you're willing to go with that.

-💐

okay i lied. i’m doing this one bc it intrigued me.. lol. but also hi 💐 anon !! ur not overwhelming me i love all the asks, it’s just a matter of energy lol. but love u !!

also prepare for this to be lengthy due to the thick plot, lol

i actually am proud of this and how i wrote it, i rlly like it 🥹.

i will get out more posts today, likely 2-3. 4 if i get drink an alani lmao.

mean!jj x sensitive!kook!reader.

you had always known jj, due to the small size of the island. however, you just started getting closer with him the past few weeks.

you had always seen into him more then others did, even from afar.

you noticed the bruises on his cheeks, and how they’d fade over the next few days. you noticed when he’d gotten a haircut, likely from john b. you didn’t know why, but you found him interesting.

you probably shouldn’t have, considering your brother — rafe, absolutely hated him. he was a bad kid, you always saw him getting arrested with the rest of the pogues.

the reason you two started getting closer, was due to a drunken hookup you had a misunderstanding on. clearly, he looked at it as any other girl he would hook up with, no feelings and not a thought about it again.

you however, looked at it way different. you really genuinely liked him, truly. you didn’t care about any of the bad rumors about him, you didn’t see him as just the bad. you saw the good too.

a few days ago, you went to the chateau to see jj. you hadn’t talked to him since the hookup, expect for minor greetings. you wanted to get to know him more. understand him, fully and completely.

it’s safe to say it didn’t go well. you sat him down, explaining how you really did like him. he listened at first, but as soon as you started trying to open him up, he immediately tensed.

you asked him about how come he always has those bruises on him, and where they’re from. he stood up immediately, scoffing at your attempt.

“you’re fuckin’ serious? you just came here to make fun of me?”

you shook your head quickly at his misunderstanding, explaining how that’s not what you meant at all.

“y’know, it’s not shit you would understand at all. you’re too much of a dumb pretty little ‘kook princess’ with no thoughts in her head to figure it out.”

you swallowed at his harsh words, tears filling your eyes. you opened your mouth to speak, but he just kept spewing more words out.

“ever think that’s why i didn’t talk to you after we hooked up? because we couldn’t ever be anything. i could never be with somebody like you.”

tears fell from your eyes at his words, trying to take deep breaths. you attempted to speak again, before he interrupted you.

“just save it, okay? go back to figure 8 where you belong.”

you let more tears fall, listening to him and gathering your stuff and leaving the chateau.

you walked home with tears down your face the whole time, thoughts stirring. was that really all he thought about you? just a kook who never had to worry about anything?

your tears eventually faded, feelings going numb from exhaustion.

when you got home, you pushed your way past your family, going upstairs to shower.

when you got in, you immediately broke down again. tears filling your eyes and streaming down your face.

you wanted jj to like you, you really did. but if he really had those thoughts of you, you needed to let him go. you couldn’t go on thinking about him, worrying, if your feelings weren’t reciprocated.

over the next few days, you left jj and every pogue alone. you noticed him around, though. you didn’t see the pogues around him, either. it seemed like he was avoiding them, just like you were avoiding him. he looked almost upset, everywhere he went too.

after a while, he got over whatever little mood he was in and you saw him laughing, running around with his friends again.

you however, were not over it. his words really hurt, and you couldn’t get them out of your head. but you knew you needed to give him the same treatment back.

so you decided to start hanging out with your friends too. you started going to the boneyard with topper, kelce, and rafe. you knew jj hated them, but you couldn’t bring yourself to show any care if you weren’t receiving any.

you left him alone for a while after that, silently thinking and worrying about him in your head instead.

you opted for watching from afar, both of you making awkward eye contact at times.

you still wondered where those bruises came from, and if you would ever know at all.

[mosaickiwi]

After reading your Ren/Angel writings (love them all ❤️)an idea poped up. Mc doesn't like the taste of artifical cherries so they avoid eating any cherry flavored candies. Ren knows this. But somehow Mc notices Ren seems to secretly love cherry candies so Angel surprises them with a variety of cherry candies 🍬

💝 Wondering how they find out hmm. Cherry scented cologne hidden in the bathroom? Ren taking 0.25 seconds longer than usual to pick a little treat in line at the grocery store? Detective Angel is on the case...!

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Very Cherry

The rustling of plastic bags was unmistakable as you opened all the things you'd bought, but [REDACTED] dutifully kept his eyes closed. You accidentally knocked one bag over and sent a few lollipops careening off the table with a loud clatter. A few fell into his lap. He pretended not to notice.

“Y’really don't want any he—”

“No!!” you quickly interrupted him, already picking the candies up. “It's a surprise.”

Finally, after discarding a few damaged goods, the bowl you'd set before him was full. All sorts of colorful sweets were piled together. Gummies, chocolates, hard candies and more, each with a cherry flavor to them that you were certain he’d love.

You made a face at the pile, but thankfully none of it was for you to snack on. “You can open your eyes,” you said, but changed your mind immediately. “Wait! Wait—” You ran around to sit opposite of them at the table. Seeing his reaction was all you could think of for the past few weeks. “Okay, now open them.”

Their eyes opened, neither shocked nor surprised, but excited nonetheless. “‘Was wonderin’ what y’were buying all this candy y’don’t even like for. Seemed like too much for the kids at the library.”

“Hey!” You didn't expect him to admit to stalking your internet history. “I thought you'd learn to stop snooping by now. Act surprised, or else.”

They grinned before doing their best soft and shy Haruko impression—a mockery of an act they'd long since dropped. “O-Oh, a gift? You're so sweet, Angel!! I can't believe you bought these for me. I promise I'll treasure it!”

You rolled your eyes, but answered with sincerity, “You're worth every cent. I like seeing you happy, Ren. And I like making you happy.”

“Shit…” [REDACTED] muttered and rubbed at his jaw, almost at a loss for words. “I... Thank you. Really.”

In spite of the genuine blush forming on the hacker’s cheeks, you could tell he had mixed feelings. Of course they'd be grateful for anything you gifted him. But if it was something that you were open about hating, the item in question would be avoided altogether. Regardless of his own feelings on the matter. It was a strange tendency they couldn’t really let go of just yet. 

Encouragement, and a little pleading, would do the trick, though. 

“I worked really hard to find all of these. And I was looking forward to seeing your face when you finally had some,” you said, practically pouting at them, your chin resting in the palms of your hands. “Just a bite?” 

Both the statements were true. Since you couldn't stand the flavor you thoroughly scoured all the online reviews before enlisting the pickiest of your friends to taste test, then repeated it all to find candies that suited him. Enough to get a wide variety. So the results from all that effort were very important to you.

Incapable of ever refusing the smallest request, your partner grabbed a wrapped candy at random from the bowl. It was a half moon shape, and a bright shade of red with a white line along the round edge. Kiara had suggested that one—but only after telling her all the expensive candies she sent would use up a huge chunk of your budget. 

You chose to keep that information to yourself as he carefully unwrapped the gummy candy. Any mention of another person would no doubt sour his mood.

[REDACTED] held the candy up to their lips, and instead of eating it whole, they took the tiniest nibble you'd ever seen. Still, his face lit up at the first sample. He took another tiny bite, then another and another. As if he couldn’t decide between savoring or devouring it completely.

“Do you like it?” You leaned forward on the table, relishing in his reaction. 

He swallowed to answer you right away, putting the candy—with not even half of it missing—back in its paper. “Yeah. ‘Like it a lot, actually.” 

The bowl’s many candies crinkled as you fished through it to pull more of the same type out. “They have a sour version, too. I'm sure you'll like that one even better,” you said. In the small pile of half moons you made, there were a few speckled with white sugar. He took another. “I'll order some more so you don't have to eat them like… that.” 

“‘M not trying t’save ‘em,” he mumbled, though the delicate way he unwrapped a sour gummy and started nibbling again like a hamster said otherwise. It was a fascinating sight, if not completely silly for the man decked head to toe in black clothes, intimidating accessories, and silver piercings. You had to keep yourself from giggling and he insisted again. “Really, Angel. I jus’ wanna be able to thank you properly when I’m done.”

You smiled at their consideration. All too easily, you could imagine your face scrunching up at the cherry taste sure to linger on your boyfriend's tongue if he kept indulging. “I'd still kiss you even if you taste awful,” you teased.

As if to test your confidence, he popped the candy into his mouth and watched you pointedly. They took their sweet time to chew it, giving you time to reconsider the idea while he fiddled with a lollipop from the bowl.

Your nose wrinkled as the faint cherry smell finally wafted over, the fruity scent stronger than you anticipated. “... Maybe only on the cheek, though.”

He noisily stood from his chair, and you knew right away he was leaving to brush his teeth.

[euniexenoblade]

Favorite Movies 2024

I do one of these every year, even though I see less and less of the current releases every year. But, I've been doing it on tumblr since 2012, so it's a tradition and everyone else does it so, why not?

There's a lot of movies I haven't gotten to see yet. Like, as far as I can tell Queer isn't available anywhere even though it's one of those movies I'm sure I'd love. Everyone seems to like The Brutalist, but I don't want to watch a bad cam recording. I don't usually see most non-American movies until the next year. Really excited to see that movie Viet and Nam.

That said, some honorable mentions:

Past Lives was a really beautiful film about a family immigrating to the USA from South Korea and how that affects their daughter and her friend's relationship, not to mention her identity. It's 5/5 for me but it's technically 2023 and it feels more fun to highlight the films I chose.

Perfect Days is a Japanese movie about a guy that works for a toilet cleaning company and it's really a beautiful movie. Like the previous mention the only problem is it's from 2023 and I think it'd be fun to highlight the films I chose.

Conclave is fun! Who would have thought picking the pope was exactly like high school cafeteria drama!

I'm sure no one cares for Speak No Evil, considering this one is an American remake. But, personally I had a lot of fun, James McAvoy is hot and honestly the family deserved it for diving a Tesla.

Drive Away Dolls is a really funny gay comedy. It's not good enough to make a "best of" list, but that doesn't mean it's not worth a watch. In that same respect, Bottoms was really funny. But again, not best of the year worthy, and it's from 2023.

Anyways! The list!

10 - Heretic

Heretic is one of those edgy pseudo intellectual movies that thinks it's so much smarter than it actually is. And I love it. Do not go into this expecting a horror movie, expect it to be some dude trolling some Mormon girls. Don't take it seriously and just enjoy the ride. It's funnier than it is scary. When the guy compares the Book of Mormon to Monopoly, or compares Jesus Christ to Jar Jar Binks? Hysterical.

9 - Alien: Romulus

I don't really have anything to add on to the letterboxd review. As a Alien lover, a Xenomorph fucker, and a die hard fan of the series, I really loved the atmosphere in this one. The world building was great. I'm happy we finally got a decent installment, finally.

8 - Challengers

Again, said most of what I need to up there. Challengers is not the movie you expect it to be. Funny as hell, interesting as hell, melodramatic as fuck.

7 - Will & Harper

Will & Harper is a breath of fresh air in today's transphobic climate. I didn't expect Will fucking Ferrel to be the trans ally of the year, but damn, he tried his hardest to keep Harper happy even in the darker moments. Will Ferrell's best movie (lol).

6 - Love Lies Bleeding

This fucking movie is insane. If you want to see a real lesbian crime thriller, this is it y'all. Music is excellent, acting is astounding, and they throw in some fucking curveballs to fuck with you. Underrated cinema.

5 - Monkey Man

Do you need another reason?

An amazing action flick in a similar vein to John Wick. Brutal, violent, but has so much heart. And we get amazing trans representation. This film looked beautiful, I'd argue only one other film had a visual aesthetic nearly as cool as this in 2024 (it'll come up later). Dev Patel wrote, directed, and starred in this, that's insane. He clearly had so much love for this project and it shows through.

4 - Look Back

I don't usually put anime movies on this list, but I don't know if I'll do an anime list this year so it has to be included.

From the creator of Chainsaw Man, we get a beautiful movie about friendship and loss. It's genuinely a beautiful piece of art.

3 - Femme

I'm not adding my letterboxd, it has spoilers in it and I don't want to ruin the ride. Technically a 2023 movie, but it's on John Waters favorite movie list of the year so it fucking counts.

A brutal look at internalized homophobia and the ways we hurt each other in our own communities. I can't recommend it enough, but trigger warnings for homophobia, assault, and abuse. It's really hard to get into the meat and potatoes of this movie without spoiling it. But, it's fucked up and well made.

I loved this movie. It looks so beautiful, the actors inhabit their characters so well it feels like it's all real, a gay horror movie if I've ever seen one.

2 - The People's Joker

Also technically not 2024, but this is the year everyone got to see it. But, The People's Joker is such a triumph of trans DIY bullshit. Making a movie about a trans woman Joker without the permission of DC sounds so stupid, but it comes together as one of the most interesting pieces of art to come out in the 2020s.

My first experience with this movie was unforgettable. I had no idea it existed, but my girlfriend who worked at a movie theater was like "this movie exists let's go see it!" And I was like, ok that's chill. I was hitting the weed vape so hard before going into this and killed me.

Live action, CGI, animation, this movie is a bizarre amalgamation of styles, built as this weird, indie love letter to Batman. Inside this shell of mixed artforms you find a very basic story about a trans woman finding herself and fighting for the respect of the people around her. And beyond that you can find comedy revolving around Batman lore or comedy revolving around inter community bullshit.

Outstanding movie. Would happily watch it 800 more times.

1 - I Saw The TV Glow

It couldn't be anything else.

Similar to previous, my movie theater girlfriend got a huge group of people together to go see this. I had seen trailers but I figured it was going to be a normal horror movie in the style of Candle Cove type shenanigans. I was very, very, very, very high when I saw this. Of the 15 or so people (all trans) that saw this, the majority were crying, a few were shell shocked and just left, and I'm there laughing about Phoebe Bridgers in the middle.

I don't think there's anything I can say about this movie that isn't already super well known. A transgender horror story with the message "it's never too late." As frightening, as sad as it is, it's also just the beginning of the story that'll have a happy end.

It's beautiful. Looks beautiful. Great soundtrack that fits the vibe. One of the best movies ever made, honestly.

[xoxoavenger]

Running Like Water

pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

summary: 'Cause I knew you/Steppin' on the last train/Marked me like a bloodstain, I/I knew you/Tried to change the ending/Peter losing Wendy, I/I knew you/Leavin' like a father/Running like water, I/And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

word count: 1477

cardigan masterlist main masterlist

When Y/N wakes up, she's sure the fuzzy memory of JJ going to Australia must be a dream her drunk brain conjured up. She doesn't remember anything after she threw up, but she sits up and looks around the still-dark room. There's two beds in the room including the one she's on. She realizes that Sarah is next to her, Kiara on her other side. Pope and John B are in the other bed, but JJ is no where to be found. She coughs, which makes her feel nauseas. Her headache comes crashing down, and she winces as she grips her head. Her mouth feels dryer than the desert.

"Here," She jumps as she turns back to Kiara, who is now awake and holding a water bottle. Y/N takes it gratefully, finishing the whole bottle as Sarah stirs awake.

"Hey," She smiles, but there's something else in the smile. Y/N frowns.

"What happened last night?" Y/N asks. She knew they weren't supposed to get a hotel room, but she does remember John B and Sarah being pretty drunk and she threw up, so it's probably a god thing that they ended up in one.

"How much do you remember?" Kiara whispers, the boys still not awake.

"Not much after the last bar. I know I thew up." She looks around once more. "Where's JJ?" She turns to see Sarah, who's never been able to hide her emotions well, looking upset.

"At the last bar, John B accidentally told everyone that JJ got a job in Australia." Sarah says softly. Y/N blinks.

"It wasn't just a dream," She mutters, barely audible. She pushes the covers off her and crawls to the end of the bed, jumping off.

"Y/N," Kiara calls, waking the boys. Y/N doesn't listen, just opens the door and walks out into the corridor.

"Where are you going?" Sarah follows, genuinely scared for Y/N, or maybe more for JJ if she's able to find him. She doesn't answer, which causes Sarah and Kiara to exchange a look, still following. "Y/N!" She turned around like this, the others skidding to a stop.

"I might kill him."

"No," Kiara started, not letting Y/N get the rest out. "I know that he's a dick. I know that you're upset, which is completely valid. But I think that killing him may be a little over dramatic."

"I think I'm being the exact right amount of dramatic considering the circumstance." Y/N had the crazy eyes going on, scaring John B and Pope, who had heard the noise and came out of the hotel room. "And killing him is the exact right amount."

"Wow, okay." Pope says, not sure what to do in this situation.

"I'm sure he had a reason, so maybe we should let him explain." John B suggests, but this only makes Y/N more angry.

"Maybe he should have explained when he told me." Y/N shrugged, turning back around. "Oh, that's right, he didn't!" She walks around the corner, and this time no one follows him.

"She's not actually gonna kill him, right?" Pope asks, genuinely unsure.

"Honestly?" Sarah turns to the rest of them. "I'm not sure."

~

Y/N finds JJ back at the Chateau. He's drinking a bottle of tequila, no ice or even a glass, just straight out of the bottle. She thinks briefly about punching him, but decides against it at the last moment.

"I want to kill you." She says honestly, trying to keep herself from shaking in rage.

"That makes two of us." She leans forward and hits him for that one, slapping him across the face and making him drop the bottle. "I deserved that."

"You deserve more than just that." She spits, anger apparent in every syllable.

"And you deserve more than just me." He whispers, putting his head in his hands.

"Jayj," She says softly, getting on her knees. She's still upset, but her anger is moving to sadness quickly. "Why didn't you just tell me when you found out? Why didn't you tell me when you were applying?" She's never been this mad at him while still being upset with him.

"I knew you'd be upset." He shrugs, leaning his head back. "And I didn't think I'd get it. So when I did, I knew you would be upset but tell me to go and I didn't want to be the reason you were upset."

"When do you leave?"

"Two days." They stare at each other in silence, neither knowing what to say. She would think about hitting him if she weren't so shocked.

"So you were just not going to tell me until you left?" She doesn't need him to confirm it, she knows he wasn't going to tell her.

"I didn't want to hurt you. That's why I held off." He wasn't quite sure what she wanted. He knew it wasn't what he was saying, but he couldn't make this better.

"But you told John B and Pope." She raised her eyebrows. "I'm more mad you kept it from me. It honestly feels like you're running away from me." She lets out a sardonic chuckle.

"I knew you'd be upset, but I thought you'd be happy for me! Ya know, as my girlfriend!" He yells, standing up. She steps back a bit.

"You are running away." She whispers, tears springing to her eyes. "Why are you running away?" She doesn't understand. She thought everything had been going good.

"I have never been even out of the state! I need to experience the world! This is the best job I'll probably ever have the chance to have." He can't tell her the truth, can't tell her that he feels things for her that he's just a little afraid of.

"You're running away!" She repeats as she gets closer, tears falling down her cheeks without her even having to blink. "You're doing the same thing your dad did." She whispers. He wishes she had slapped him again. It would have hurt less.

"This isn't the same." He tells her lowly. She shakes her head.

"It is. It's exactly the same because you're leaving your problems behind. You're leaving me behind." She wants to scream and cry and figure out how to get all her emotions out.

"I'm sorry." He can't lie to her. He can't tell her exactly why he's leaving but he can't lie to her.

"I'm sure you are." She mutters softly, wiping her tears. "And so am I." She walks out the door, JJ following her.

"Why are you sorry?" He calls, running down the stairs as she speeds over to her car.

"I'm sorry to myself. I'm sorry I let myself lean on you so much. I'm sorry I put myself in the position to get hurt." She turns to him and shakes her head. "I'm sorry I let myself fall in love with you." She gets in her car, letting him watch her drive off.

~

She goest back to the Chateau two days later, after disappearing from her friends. When she walks through the door late in the afternoon, everyone is sitting around as if they're waiting for her.

"He's gone?" She asks, slumping.

"Yeah," Sarah says softly as Kiara stands to go to her side.

"He left." She whispers, head rolling back as her knees collapse underneath her. John B jumps to help Kiara hold their friend up.

"It's alright," Kiara comforts as they set her on the vacated couch, pushing her hair back. Y/N is sweating and shaking, and Kiara realizes her forehead is warm. "I think she's sick."

"Shit," Pope mutters, putting a hand to his head.

"Have you eaten anything?" Sarah whispers to Y/N as she crouches down. Y/N opens her eyes, but she doesn't quite look coherent. "It must've taken everything to get here." The four of them stand there, looking at their friend who had been heartbroken down to the bone.

"They're not going to survive this." Kiara mutters. They had seen JJ before he left, had noticed how he was always drunk and upset and barely made it onto his flight.

"He had to do it." John B told them. "He had to leave to see how good he had it. He had to leave and hope that she takes him back when he comes back home."

"That makes no sense." Sarah said, crossing her arms. "He ran away."

"Because he's in love and he's scared." Pope explains.

"They've already said 'I love you'. It's not that." Kiara looks over to see Y/N asleep, so she puts the blanket up on her.

"She wants to get married." John B said. The way he said it, everyone knew that JJ had told him.

"And that scared him." Kiara understood now. They all knew their friend had issues with commitment, but they thought he had gotten through them with Y/N. "He ran."

"Shit," Pope repeated, and they all silently agreed. 

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @theoraekenslover

[heybank]

DENY PART TWO

ok i think i might make a series about my jj x reader x pope fic

also kind of dedicated to @starfxkr bc their blog gets me through the jj pope drought that is on tumblr (if you don't wanna be tagged i'll totally delete but i luv you even tho i don't know you

this isn't technically a part two but it's inspired by my previous fic deny

i'm hoping to maybe fully flesh out a whole mini story about them bc i love jj and pope so bad and i wanna kiss them both and have them kiss each other.

please send me prompts or if you have any ideas or you just wanna gush about jj and pope 💜

i'm a cancer, ok

you've always felt your emotions more deeply than others. you have a lot of feelings and it's not uncommon for you to start tearing up at random times throughout the day when you see something that elicits a strong feeling from you.

kie says it's because you're a cancer and while she's so true because you are the stereotypical emotional water sign, you're not sure how much of your mental state is because of your astrological sign or if you're genuinely a few screws loose in the head.

you remember hiccuping and sobbing into jjs shirt for the better part of half an hour- staining his sleeveless tee with your tears all because you saw a seagull missing a foot and he seemed to be running slower than his other seagull friends. your only relief from the obvious heartbreaking situation was jj softly murmuring comforting words in your ear, his strong arms around circled around your waist, your body snuggled onto his lap. the scene isn't uncommon for the pogues to see. the two of you have always been more affectionate than most.

all of this leads you to where you are now, curled up on your bed sobbing. soft sad music playing in the background making you sob even more. you put on a brave face with your friends but in the sanctuary of your own bed is where you can finally let your feelings free.

seeing pope and jj kiss hurt you more than you originally thought. your mind keeps replaying the scene of the two boys kiss, their lips moving together sensually, saliva being shared. you're sure that if you hadn't interrupted them, the kiss would lead to something more and involving less clothes.

hey google, play "that should be me" by justin bieber.

what if when they start dating they drop you? what if pope isn't comfortable with how touchy or affectionate you are with jj and he stops your cuddles or what if jj doesn't want you to hang out alone with pope because he knows you two kissed. what if they stop needing you because they have each other?

the thought makes a sob crawl up your throat and fat tears roll down your cheeks. you feel like your head is going to explode from how hard your crying. you need them like air, you felt like that even before you and pope kissed and before you realized you're in love with jj. you need them because they're your closest friends- they're the family you so desperately crave because your own doesn't care much for you and you're so scared if they start dating each other then they won't need you.

it's why you give out your love so freely, the feeling of being needed by people is something that is so deeply and inherently buried in your bones. when someone needs you and you can help them, it feels euphoric. a psychologist would probably have a field day with you because if you're not needed, what good are you?

----

"i'm really confused after our kiss" pope mumbles, nervous to look at jj in the eyes.

"good or bad confused" jj responds.

"is there such thing as good confusion?" pope asks, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. "i didn't think i was gay or bi or whatever and yeah i think some dudes are hot but like i've never wanted to kiss them but i wanted to kiss you!! and then we kissed and it was like... nice but different and i couldn't help but think about gracie and how she and i kissed and how good that also felt and then i felt guilty and-"

"pope, take a breath" the maybank boy utters, effectively cutting off popes rambles.

"i liked kissing you pope. i never let myself be attracted to dudes but it's you, ya know?" jj continues.

"but i also understand wanting to kiss grace. i... well i want to kiss her too." he finally confesses. he's never said his feelings for his grace out loud before.

pope gently stumbles over to where the maybank boy is perched on his bed, he leans in to grab jjs fidgeting hands, grasping them in what he hopes is a comforting hold.

he leans forward so he can give jj a small peck on the cheek. reassuring him that they're ok, that they'll make it through whatever turmoil they're feeling right now.

jj grabs popes face and brings him in for a deeper kiss, lips and tongues touching. it makes jjs stomach burn with desire. after several minutes or maybe hours of kissing, he's not sure, pope reaches up and pulls on jjs soft blond tresses, tugging on the boys hair a little to pull him away from popes lips. they both let out little gasps when they disconnect.

"have you heard of polyamory?" pope asks jj... a shit eating grin on his lips.

---

giggling and kicking my feet. i love them 💜

[hello-nichya-here]

Do you think Juan was in love with Lucrezia too and that's why Cesare hated him?

When I first watched the show, that was the furthest thing from my mind, mostly because Juan annoyed me to no end, but after seeing an interview in which the actor said he always felt his character was upset that he couldn't join Cesare and Lucrezia, I paid more attention to him on my rewatches - mainly to Juan's pattern of trying to murder the men his sisters falls in love with.

Because of that, yes, I think Juan, whether he knew it or not, was likely interested in sleeping with Lucrezia, but he was not in love with her - at least not in the same way Cesare was.

It's no coincidence that Cesare humiliated and killed Lucrezia's abusive husband as revenge for raping her, while Juan didn't do shit about it. That Juan threatened Lucrezia's son, while Cesare was fighting for her right keep him around after remarrying. That her first two love interests died by Juan's hand, while Cesare tried to save them and even hesitated to kill her second husband (until he started posing a threat by making it clear he'd snitch on them about the incest) because "I would not harm that which my sister loves."

Both relationships can be summarised by Lucrezia's line of "Only a Borgia can truly a Borgia." For her and Cesare that means "As family, we understand and care for each other in a way no one else could, we have to stick together", while for Juan it means "Everyone else is inferior to us."

Juan has one hell of big ego and is constantly trying to seem more competent than he actually is - to the point that he doesn't want to marry A KING'S DAUGHTER because she's illegitimate, even though he couldn't stop fucking her, even after she married the youngest Borgia (and was then written out of existence with him).

He literally corrects a prostitute who called him "The Pope's bastard" by saying he is the Pope's SON. And when he acts with disgusted towards Lucrezia's child for being illegitimate, he dismisses her point about him being a major hypocrite by reminding her "I'm a BORGIA bastard."

Juan's family is important and he's well aware of it - he uses it as sword and shield for everything. It would not surprise me if he either became interested in Lucrezia because she's the one woman that isn't "lesser" or at least uses "Well, I'm a Borgia" to avoid any guilt he could feel over his attraction towards her.

Now, don't get me wrong, he DOES have that strong feeling of belonging, understanding and family as well - but he has it towards RODRIGO, and to a lesser extent, Cesare himself.

He looks genuinely afraid and devastated at the rumor that either him or Cesare isn't actually a product of their mother's affair with Rodrigo, but rather the legitimate child she had with her actual husband (again, that's despite the fact that Juan has a complex about being a bastard, which says a lot), he clearly wants his father's approval, and his death happens after he tried to give CESARE a way to get rid of all his pain through drugs.

But while he can show affection towards Lucrezia sometimes, he doesn't show the same reverence and respect (however grudging, like with Cesare). I think that happens for a few reasons:

1 - Misogyny. Juan was always very aggressive in any sexual situation, and we see that he is not at all above full on assaulting a woman to deal with his anger - hell, he rapes an innocent girl that just happened to walk past him because he's mad at a different woman for humiliating him, and since said woman is not around, he just grabs the first vulnerable peson he sees.

Lucrezia might be spared of that because she's family, but you can't expect a violent misogyny to ever be too kind to any woman. Again, that's why he killed two of her lovers and threatened her child -Juan is being violent towards the men (or boys) around her because he can't/won't give himself permission of being violent towards her directly. Lucrezia is to him what Ursula was to Cesare, an object of affection/obsession, not an equal.

2 - Lucrezia's age. Not only is Lucrezia the youngest (at least after Joffrey was written out of existence), at the start of the show she's still 14 while both of her older brothers are already adults. Juan is not going to take a literal child seriously. It's just not gonna happen. And because the age gap is much larger, I think part of him will always see her as a little girl (even Cesare feels like that to some extent).

3 - Lucrezia's (former?) kind nature. There's a reason he looks shaken when she tries to kill him, even though he just murdered the father of her child. Juan legit did not know his sister was capable of matching his violence if he pushed her too far - and Cesare only killed him after LUCREZIA basically gave him the order/green light. This man was playing with fire and had no fucking idea. To him, she was just his naive, innocent, harmless younger sister. She's to be cherished and protected, not taken seriously like their father and brother.

Now, while I think the fact that Juan 100% knew something was going on between his siblings (he was even the first character to openly acknowledge it, for God's sake) mostly likely played a role in why he loved pissing Cesare off so much, I don't think Lucrezia was in anyway a factor on why Cesare hated Juan (again, until he started hurting her by harming the people she cared about) because:

1 - Cesare might be in denial sometimes, but he knows damn well he is his sister's soulmate. She even say's "I could never love a husband as much as I love YOU." Their brother was far less of a threat than her already mediocre lovers, whom Cesare didn't really have too many issues with - and honestly, Juan probably took NOT being seen as a legitimate rival on that regard as a deep insult.

2 - Cesare, just like Juan, desperately wants Rodrigo's approval, and his whole complex is about their father giving his brother far more freedom and praise than he ever got.

They had the Caim and Abel vibes for a LONG time.

[sugarlesswriting]

After the leak for the new Batman issue came out I've seen some Batman fans make some.... choice opinions.

Be to be fair they always have some... choice opinions.

Like guys idk how to tell you but the writing is not making him the good guy here. It's like the whole Tower of Babel incident and how fans misinterpreted the plot.

Some of the things that I have read and made me roll my eyes

'Jason deserved it.'

He did in fact not deserve to be mind fucked because he decided to work with Selina. Batman made him a god damn agoraphobic. We see him sitting down, in a prison cell, trying to convince himself to get up but can't because he is in so much fear. Have you guys ever been in a position where you know you need to move but can't because your anxiety won't let you? Let me tell you it sucks and I know that this is fiction but it just rubs me the wrong way to see how people treat this situation. (Probs because that type of anxiety hit to close to home)

'Bruce has been betrayed by his entire family so of course he's going to fight them.'

Shut up. Just shut up. We all know that it's Zur en arrh that's making him think that what he's doing is rational but no it's not. The writing shows that he is not in the right for doing so. Reading comprehension is nice and you guys would be lucky to have it.

'Selina's a dumb whore and Tini Howard is the one who made this plot happen.'

Selina's plan is dumb but your misogyny is just POPING with that one. And you guys know how I feel about people saying Howard forced the Selina plot. No Editorial told them that they wanted an event with the batfamily because it would sell a good amount of comics. That's what these events are for. Please, guys, you have to understand how marketing works. Comics have been doing this for a long time.

I feel the same way when fans bitched about Tom King and how he ruined the wedding. No editorial ruined the wedding because THEY WANT TO SELL COMICS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. (And this is said by someone who also doesn't vibe with Kings Batman)

I just think Zdarsky had more to work with when it came to the plot because he wanted to continue his Zur arc. Idk if Howard had anything to bring with Catwoman, but if someone who's read her work let me know if she could have done something else (genuinely curious not being a jerk lol)

I also find the premise of the batfam going against Bruce himself interesting. I just think it's neat. I liked to see how everyone reacted to what Bruce did to Jason. Like, when Dick came down HARD when he found out about Jason. How he was about to just beat the shit out of Bruces face even if he passed out. Dick had to be stopped by Tim who was trying to be the voice of reason. Damien was ditched by Bruce and we had the moment with Tim hugging Damien and telling him it's going to be okay. Then you have Bruce slightly coming back to his senses by throwing the batarang down for Dick to use.

Was the Selina vs Bruce a bait and switch to what the actual war was going to be? Because the Gotham war that involves the batfam going up against a Batman who's a danger to himself and others is a plot that I like.

[explodingchantry]

There is something I've been thinking about that I want to mention in The Anders Essay, as I've been calling it - about how da2 specifically doesn't give you as much say in your companions' fate as you usually tend to expect.

Whilst Dao lets you make one of your companions king, or impregnate another, and whilst inquisition lets you turn either a companion or an advisor into the fucking pope, or decide whether or not a companion kills their entire company or gets exiled from their country.... Da2 doesn't give you quite as much of a choice.

You don't even get to truly choose your sibling's fate. It's only a choice if you know in advance what happens if you take them to the deep roads or not. What happens to them is a consequence of your actions, sure, but it isn't necessarily a "choice" in the way you would expect.

No matter what you do, Merrill will work on that eluvian using blood magic. Your decisions will only change how she feels about you and what happens with her clan. No matter what you do, Aveline will become captain of the guard. I'll admit I've never purposefully tried to ruin her thing with Donnic but I would be surprised if you can genuinely get them to not end up together.

The elephant in the room is that you can choose to give Fenris back to Danarius and you can choose to give Isabela to the Qunari. And I think it's.... Interesting.... How the two companions of color are the two that you can... Basically sell off......

But... Trying to... Ignore... That... As much as one can ignore the uh, very... Let's say misguided writing choices here - it's INTERESTING. like it is an overt decision to take this control away from you. And in my opinion, it's mostly a good thing.

Da2 faces a lot of backlash for restricting your agency and not really giving you a choice in the role you play. You can customize your Hawke but you will always remain a human with two siblings and a dead mage dad. Your mom will always die. Etc. And of course it does kind of suck, but it also really reinforces how personal da2 feels in a way. I don't know. That part is definitely biased on my part because I love da2 so much and love Hawke to bits lol

But either way - not giving you as much control over your entourage's fate does feel like a deliberate choice since it's much different from what you can do in the games that came both before and after da2. And honestly, it makes sense? I don't know, I'm always left feeling a bit strange when I realise how much control I have over characters whom I'm not playing in choice based rpgs like this. In truth it's basic ludonarrative dissonance: a way that the medium of video games actually hurts the realism and sometimes impact of a story. But da2 takes a very deliberate step in taking away your control in a way that works both to disempower you the way hawke would feel disempowered, but also to make your companions and the rest of the characters feel like their own people.

I'm thinking of it ofc because: no matter what you do, Anders will blow up that Chantry. And as much as I criticize bioware for a lot of their writing esp around Anders, I really, REALLY appreciate this. It was something he believed in, something he decided to do. And he did it because it made sense for his character, without any chance for you to talk him down from it because it's a choice HE made independently of you, because he's his own person and because his convictions are that strong. Da2 would be a worse game if you could talk Anders out of blowing up the chantry both because it would obviously remove its final act but also because it would immediately flatten and rob Anders' character and his agency.

And I think this also ties into why people do feel as betrayed as they do when Anders does it - we're used to having more control over our companion characters in choice based rpgs. If you were playing Bg3 and Astarion decided to ascend no matter what you did or said before, you would feel betrayed. Perhaps less if he always made his intentions clear AND never gave you the opportunity to talk him out of it. But still, you would feel betrayed BECAUSE you weren't given a choice. Because you're so used to having a choice.

I think in analysis of dragon age 2, more time should be given to this very specific decision bioware made, to take away your agency over characters who aren't yours (and obvs also the one who Is, supposedly, yours). I think it's a fascinating choice.

[golbrocklovely]

I need to know what you thought of Colby and Malia's costumes (once all of them are out, ofc lol)

this is an old ask

of course, anon. i gotchu lol

everything will be in the keep reading since i included pics

tin man and dorothy

this one was really cute imo. i know there were some ppl up in arms about malia wearing a sexy version of this costume bc "dorothy is a child in the movie" and to that i say.... she's not real. she's a fictional character. sexualizing a person that isn't real shouldn't upset you. if you genuinely are upset about something like this, you must have a very easy life or a lot of time on your hands. but that's just me

his costume is surprisingly really good. i would have never thought he would wear face makeup and the whole nine for the costume. the only downside is the shoes.

also if we were gonna go off the lore of the movie, really he should have been the scarecrow but i digress lol

overall rating: 3.9/5

there's a couple little things here and there that i would have changed, but overall a great start.

possessed priest and nun

imma be so forreal i never in a million years would have thought a, that he would dress like this or b, that ppl would be so upset about it lol

i literally got my degree from a catholic university, so i've known quite a few catholics in my time. the actual and current pope came to my university, and blessed a statue on campus. once everyone was allowed back on campus, students touched, groped, and made out with the statue bc the pope touched it.

safe to say in my own personal opinion, catholics do more harm to their own religion than those "mocking" it lmao

if you are catholic and upset by this, whatever. feel how you want. if you don't believe in catholicism, your opinion is invalid. sorry. don't care.

that being said, i genuinely like this costume. it's a little basic, sure. but i think it's fun. also the fact that everyone got upset at it makes me kinda like it more, just out of spite lol and as someone who has always loved gothic shit, this is right up my alley.

overall rating: 5/5 iconic bc of how many ppl were pissed about this lmao

big bad wolf and little red riding hood

again, as i've established, being offended over the "sexualizing" of a fictious character is weird. not only that, but i genuinely don't think i've ever seen a little red riding hood costume for adult women that wasn't sexy in some capacity. if your gripe is that, that's a whole different argument to be had. but yelling at malia for wanting to dress in clothes like this isn't really what we're talking about then.

all that being said, this costume sucks lol

his looks so weirdly bad. when he talked about dressing up as this, i was excited to see it, but it looks like an off broadway version of cats in the worst way. maybe more like a community theater production of it. and hers is... fine? that's barely a cape and would have been better if it was an actual full length one.

overall rating: 2/5 just bleh

sexy nerds/professor and student???

look, this one i can understand ppl actually being upset about lol personally i don't like teacher student costumes. it's weird.

HOWEVER, the one leeway i will only slightly give is that without the briefcase (which we didn't even see until well after they wore this costume) i would have thought they were just dressed as nerds. which is basic and boring enough. but with the briefcase, he looks like a teacher. which then i can understand the frustration from.

but he didn't wear the briefcase out, so imma just say they were nerds.

and that doesn't change how i feel about this costume which is that it's BORING. if you take off one piece from your costume, and you basically look like you're wearing regular clothes, you're not wearing a costume. like if they took off their glasses, i would just think they are dressed differently than they usually would. i wouldn't think they were in a costume. so....

overall rating: 1.9/5 try harder next time

hefner and a playmate

this was fine. i didn't hate it or love it. idk how the hell malia can wear so many lingerie sets as costumes and not feel even the slightest bit cold or exposed. but hey, if i had a body like hers, i too would be showing it off lmao

overall rating: 3/5

nathan drake and lara croft

i love this one. and the reason i do is bc colby has wanted to dress up as this with a partner for YEARS. literally talked about it in 2019 so you know he's been dying to do this.

and they both look so good. personally, i would have liked if he had pushed his hair back or maybe a little less guyliner lol but this is definitely my favorite costume

overall rating: 5/5

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Resurrect Bracket (Losers Bracket) Side A

ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to [make it to the finals]

Propaganda below ⬇️

Temenos

so his whole thing is he's an inquisitor who is just fundamentally bad at being a priest on account of he does things like forgetting scripture and not being able to help but doubt the institution which gets everyone hes ever cared about killed. he's gay. he says shit like "careful, i bite". he's in yuri with a holy knight. he's one of my favorite characters and i want to beat him over the head with a cast iron skillet

fucked up gay little cleric who was supposed to grapple with the fact that the institution he serves is corrupt except he has been in doubt from the very beginning and very clearly doesnt put much stock in the scripture hes made it his lifes work to preach. hes kinda a freak with it. every line he speaks is said with the cadence of a gay guy checking under his nails while ignoring you as he talks. i have to hit him with mallets and shatter him into pieces.

This man is the world's worst clergyman. He's a high ranking member of the holy inquisition, but nobody respects him and he mostly just uses his position to investigate random murders for fun. He regularly forgets how the bible goes and little kids have to correct him on how the plot goes of the jrpg equivalent of jesus's resurrection. He has a holy knight for a boyfriend. He tortures people for information any other character can just ask for. His best friend out of the rest of the main 8 is an assassin and gang member. He tries to get people to commit crimes with him. His story is about uprooting the corruption in his church and killing high ranking church members and also Literal Fucking Jrpg satan. He regularly blasphemes and everyone around him looks in horror as he shouts at god and encourages people to become atheists. His catchphrase is "doubt is what I do." He is still somehow the most devout character in the entire game despite being a total fuck up of a cleric who does not deserve to be here whatsoever. Pls let him win it'd be SO FUNNY

Hes genuinely just the funniest guy. Very little about his story has to do with the faith but like. He routinely roasts the entire pantheon of in-universe gods. He beats people up (metaphorically of course) as one of his main game mechanics. He got stamped as the resident gayboy SO fast. His starliner definitely has higher intelligence than wisdom even though clerics use wisdom. Every chapter he appears in he solves a mystery by zoning out so hard his god blesses him with extremely vivid hallucinations. He's so deeply fucking traumatized. One of his battle skills is fully just beating his enemies up with his staff. He ends up defunding the police. He can very casually become a thermonuclear bomb but in a very holy way. His best friend is a 23-year-old assassin that exclusively calls him "Detective". Is he Catholic (ish)? Yeah, but he certainly doesn't always act like it.

He constantly commits heresy and doubts the gods but is still the not-Pope's right hand man

Listen, imagine you'd go to church and your priest gets roasted by kids for forgetting how the bible goes. That's him, canonically even. He's like if a redditor who wants to be a detective was cosplaying as a holy man. He's someone whose whole thing is doubting the gods and the church, to the point where he makes another person question his faith too, even though he is technically The holy man. He's absolutely unhinged and gay. He's 30 years old and absolutely does not look like it. He's traumatized, and cannot be sincere and honest about his feelings even once. He should go to therapy actually. Like desperately. For his sake and everyone around him.

he is from the faith but he doubts everything around him to find the truth through it........ also i'd like to see him torment the crotchety priest i had to do a face-to-face confession with in high school. it'd be funny.

FATHER BROWN BUT MAKE HIM GAY AND PLAGUED BY TRUST ISSUES. This man will forget his own sermons, beat people up for infos and, at the same time, gets to be the fantasy equivalent of a youth pastor. He somehow manages to be the most unhinged person in a party that includes a vengeful math professor who can and WILL mug people. He might not be the most devout Catholic of them all, but he is definitely the *funniest* one. Give it up for the world's shittiest priest!

i’m gonna be honest temenos is a TERRIBLE catholic but he’s funny and i love him. he also has a weird gay thing going on with a paladin it’s great.

Link

Well, maybe not specifically catholic. But behold, OFFICIAL ART: https://cdn.wikimg.net/en/zeldawiki/images/a/ab/LinkPraying.png

in the original legend of zelda game there’s a bible (localized to the book of magic due to nintendo of america’s guidelines), a cross in the adventure of link, and in a link to the past, there’s art of him kneeling in front of a crucifix. hyrule has its own religions but there are undeniable christian roots.

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Hi!! can you write an rafe x routledge!reader with a lot of angst? like the reader is trying to manipulate rafe in order to gain her trust, and somehow rafe is falling for her (and her lies) (nothing violent).

Thank you!!

I love this, it was a bit hard to understand the phrasing of the request so I did my best! I hope you like it 😌

"Yes, Sarah, I heard you-" I start but she cuts me off with a loud huff across the line and I can hear JJ, Pope, Kie and John B yelling at each other in the background, presumably about this whole ordeal.

"You need to just talk to him- he already has feelings for you so it won't be hard for him to listen to you. Just please be careful." Sarah advises and I feel the knot in my stomach only grow tighter and tighter as I approach the Cameron house. "You're a Routledge, surely you can lie." I can imagine Rafe sitting inside, minding his own business, having no clue what's to come.

"I really don't want to do this to him." I whisper into the line, frustrated tears lining my lashline at the thought of actually doing what they want me to do, pulling a manipulative side of me that I never want to have to use against someone, not even Rafe.

"He's not even human, Y/n, just do it and get out of there." She hangs up before I can say anything else and I huff, shoving my phone into my pocket before rapping my fist against the large door. Moments later, I hear the thumping of footsteps rumbling down the stairs, presumably and hopefully Rafe and a second later, the door opens.

He looks at me with wide eyes, a subtle red blush slipping across his pale cheeks as I give him a small smile. He pauses, lips parting but no words come out, just genuine shock written across his face.

"Hey Rafe, could I come in?" I ask, hugging my arms around myself and his brows pull together, neck craning so he can look back into the house before down at me with a soft look.

"Uh, yeah- sure." His hand reaches out to rest on my lower back, guiding me into his house as I look around. It's changed a lot since I've been here. "What's up- I'm kind of busy." He asks, leading me over to the livingroom so I can sit and I feel my whole plan, all the words I planned just vanishing from my brain.

"Sarah's hiding something from me, so is the whole group, and I was just wondering if you knew anything about it." The words come out in a panic, the lie completely half assed, and for a moment I expect Rafe to see through it but he doesn't.

"What do you think it's about?" He asks, visibly uncomfortable at the topic but I know that this is necessary for me to ask, for me to pry this information out of him. Even though it's completely against everything I've stood for.

"Something they're trying to find but whatever it is, it's big enough to not tell me." I pout, looking down at my hands that rest in my lap and I can feel Rafe's sorry eyes watching me. "I'm just feeling sort of left out and shitty."

"I'm sorry." Rafe mutters, reaching over to place a hand on mine which sends goosebumps up my arms and through my spine. "I, uh, I do know what it's about. I'm just not exactly at liberty to talk about it." He frowns sadly at me and I nod, sort of relieved that he didn't tell me so I can go back to the group and say he didn't cooperate. "You almost don't wanna know." He chuckles sheepishly and he reaches up to rub at the back of his neck.

"Oh." I frown with a deep, dramatic sigh. "Okay."

"Look, I'm sorry. It's for your own good. I don't want you to get in any trouble or get hurt-"

"I'm sorry, I can't do this." I cut him off, reaching over to take his hands in mine which forces his gaze to meet mine, his blue orbs deep with uncertainty. "Your sister sent me, they wanted me to get information about the cross from you and I can't do that to you." Tears immediately fill my eyes as his fast twists in discomfort and he nearly throws my hands off of him as he rises to his feet.

"What the fuck- Sarah sent you?" He bellows, head tilting calculatedly at me and I bury my face in my hands, wishing I hadn't done this or listened to any of them.

"Rafe, I'm sorry-"

"Do you even care about me, Routledge?" He gasps and takes a hefty step away from me as if being so close to me physically hurts him. "Or are you just like everyone else who just uses me and then blames me for their own shit?" I shake my head immediately, stepping up to him with a desperate look in my eyes and I fist my hands beneath my chin.

"Rafe, I told her I couldn't do it- that I couldn't do it to you." I say sternly, trying to get him to look at me but he just avoids my every advance, finally squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he can as he fists his hair between his fingertips. "They're just desperate and thought because of your feelings that-"

"That you could manipulate me." He deadpans, eyes opening suddenly as his mood switches from something sad to something sour, jaw tensing and I begin to feel worry and dread swim through my brain.

"I couldn't go through with it. I wouldn't." I reach out to him, trying to take his hand in mine but he shoves my advance away with a pained look in his eyes, a lone tear sliding down his cheek and I can practically feel his heart breaking from feet away.

"I think you should leave." He says before I can say anything else and I feel myself shaking my head, lips parting as his name escapes me in a breathy, pathetic whimper.

"Rafe-"

"Leave!" He shouts and I jump, hands shaking at my sides and all I want to do is fall to my knees and beg for his forgiveness. I hate myself for using his trust against him, my own heart breaking as I break his.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the heart @vampviolets@haylee-e @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife

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[mackenzielovee]

crazy love (part 2) - rafe cameron

a/n: nervous. i even edited this one. hope you guys love it as much as the first part! feedback is always appreciated!

Summary: You finally get to see Rafe Cameron again, which changes everything for you.

Warnings: this is pure smut and im not even sorry about it. also swearing.

Word Count: 6.5k

series masterlist

my writing

You can barely contain it. Your excitement keeps bubbling up, showing in the way you laugh at everything, jump up every time you go to stand from the couch, and the way you've been talking your friends' ears off. They're all a little confused at your erratic behavior, but you don't care. You get to see Rafe tonight.

JJ's absolutely over the moon that you're finally showing signs of life again. He's had a wide smile on his face since the second he walked in from work, because you had wrapped your arms around him in a hug to greet him. John B watched the two of you intently, wondering what the hell is going on with you.

John B also notices how you continue to check your phone every five minutes. You never have any notifications, so he figures out quickly that you're looking at the time. If you're meeting Rafe at eight, you figure you should leave about a half hour before. The walk to the bridge should take about that long, but you don't care. You'd walk to the end of the earth if it meant getting to hang out with him again.

"Should we have a repeat of last night?" JJ whispers in your ear, wrapping one arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest.

You don't look up at him or really even react when he touches you. He notices but brushes it off, laying a kiss on your temple.

"I have to go home. My parents don't like when I stay over two nights in a row."

It's kind of true, so you don't see it as a complete lie. Your mother had voiced her opinion to you a few months ago, but you had just rolled your eyes in response and she let it go. You probably could get away with another night, but you know you'll be worn out and sore after Rafe.

It doesn't cross your mind until that moment that you wonder if Rafe even plans on having sex with you. Of course he does, you think. You and Rafe had rarely ever hung out without it ending in at least one orgasm.

"Honey," JJ groans, "I wanna be with you."

You shrug your shoulders, checking the time once more. A few minutes before seven-thirty, but it wouldn't hurt to leave now.

"I gotta get going," you pull out of JJ's grasp, watching as he stares up at you in confusion.

"What?"

"I promised my parents I'd be home early tonight," you tell him, watching as he sighs and shakes his head.

"Fine," he grumbles, "I'll take you home."

"It's fine," you say quickly, louder than you mean to. You earn the attention of both Kie and John B, Pope being too invested in the back of his eyelids to pay attention or care.

"Sweetheart, it's like, a long walk," JJ stands up, setting his hand on your hip.

"I need the exercise," you shrug, pulling back just enough so that his hand falls down.

"Wha-"

You move away from him and toward the door, not wanting to discuss it anymore. John B watches the two of you interact, considering stepping in and saying you two could take the van. Honestly, John B feels bad for JJ because he knows something is up with you. He just can't tell if you're still genuinely invested in your relationship with JJ or not.

"Call you later," you say quietly, smiling to your boyfriend and your friends before you slip out the door.

You don't turn back, but you can hear JJ faintly ask if he should go after you. You swear under your breath, praying he doesn't. When you get far enough away without hearing the porch door creak open, you take off. You run until you're out of view of the house, then relax and try to keep your nerves down.

You know if you think about what you're doing for too long, you'll start to feel insanely guilty about it. So, instead, you remember the way you felt today at the Club when Rafe squeezed onto your hand. The way you felt when he called you 'baby', which was your favorite nickname he ever gave you, and he knew it.

You reach the end of one side of the bridge before you know it, glancing around and spotting Rafe's truck on the other end. You pull out your phone to check the time. Seven forty-seven. Rafe Cameron has never been early to anything in his life. You can't help but smile, biting your lip as you walk across the bridge.

Rafe is standing outside his truck on his phone. When he sees movement, he glances up, spying you immediately. He tucks his phone away and then shoves his hands into the front pockets of his shorts, beginning to walk over to you.

"You showed," he says once he's close enough to you.

His eyes scan over your body once again, and you can't help but feel needles in your stomach when he stops and licks his lips. You take a deep breath and nod your head, trying to keep some form of composure.

"It's not even eight yet," you defend.

Rafe knows this, but he flips his wrist up and checks his Rolex anyway. His cheeks turn pink when he realizes he had been here half an hour early. Safe to say, he has been just as excited to see you.

"Hmm," he hums, "Well, I had business at the Club. It must not have taken as long as I expected."

You roll your eyes, "Right. Business."

He grins, knowing you see right through him. You can't help the way your stomach drops, in a good way, at his perfect smile. He's wearing the same hat from earlier, still sitting backwards on his head. You know you'll be removing that in just a few short minutes.

Rafe takes a step toward you, then another, then another. He stares into your eyes, looking for any sign of hesitation or fear. When he finds none, he slowly reaches up and sets his hand on your hip. It rests almost in the exact place JJ's hand had earlier, but it feels completely different. It sends shivers up and down your entire body.

"Hi," he says quietly, leaning his head down so he's only inches from yours.

"Hi."

He smiles once again, scooting himself forward but not wanting to be too direct. You're the one with the boyfriend, after all. He wants you to be sure this is what you want. Although the idea of fucking JJ Maybank's girlfriend in the back of his truck makes him feel pretty damn good.

You grow tired of his game, so you reach forward and grab onto the collar of his shirt, finally closing the gap between the two of you.

The kiss is electrifying. It's everything you've been craving for the past few months. Tasting him again, feeling his tongue against yours again, feeling his skin on yours as he brings his large hand underneath your shirt again. Everything about it excites you. Makes you feel whole again.

You can tell Rafe feels the same way when his hands start roaming your body like a mad man. He's missed this. He's missed you.

He breaks your kiss and moves down your jawline and to the skin on your neck, leaving long, wet kisses on your favorite spots. He remembers them like the way he remembers how to ride a bike.

"Rafe," you moan, it becoming blatantly obvious to the both of you how much you need him.

You feel him smirk against your neck, probably feeling like a god right now, but you don't mind. You'll tell him whatever he wants to hear if he'll just make you feel good.

"Yes, baby?" he mumbles into your ear, swirling his tongue around your earlobe and then pulling on it with his teeth.

You moan. Of course, you moan. Every move he makes just feels like he knows exactly what you're thinking. He's got one hand resting on the back of your neck and the other under your shirt. You can feel his rings against your skin as he trails his hand up further, grabbing onto your breast.

"Fuck," you swear right before he puts his lips on yours again.

He can feel himself getting hard quickly. He hasn't had you in months, and it's been getting to him.

"Get in the truck," he commands, forcing himself to pull away from you. He knows you're desperate for him to touch you, so he withholds his hands until you do what he says.

You take a deep breath and nod, knowing he's in for a surprise when he takes your underwear off. You walk in front of him over to the truck, doing your best to be nonchalant when really, you want to sprint over there and get to work.

"Backseat or bed?" he asks you, pulling his keys from his pocket.

"Will anyone hear?"

"If we're in the bed?"

"Yes."

"Fuckin' probably. That's the beauty of it."

The dirty smirk on his face is what convinces you. You point to the bed of his truck and watch as he unlocks it and pulls it down. There's already a blanket laid out across it, making your heart sink.

Rafe looks over at you, noting your expression, "What?"

"You do this often?" you ask quietly, pointing to the blanket spread out.

Rafe coughs awkwardly, then pretends like he's brushing dirt off his shorts. When he looks up at you again, his cheeks are stained pink.

"I put that out when I got here. Just in case."

Your eyes snap up from the ground to him, trying to figure out if he's full of shit. You can tell right away he's telling the truth based on how embarrassed he is. You smile and rush over to him, attacking him with kisses as a way to wipe off his embarrassment. He gladly accepts, then reaches down and grabs your hips, pulling you up. He sets you down on the bed of the truck, then makes room for himself between your legs as he continues to kiss you.

"Goddamn," he mumbles against your lips, moving down to your neck again, "I missed you so much, baby."

You let out a sigh, a content one, as he works against the skin on your neck.

"I missed you, too."

He smiles, leaning back up to give you one more kiss on the lips before he pushes you back onto the blanket. He's ready to show you just how much he missed you now.

He climbs on top of you, wasting no time removing his shirt and yours. He brings his lips down to the valley of your breasts, leaving long kisses there. He trails down your stomach with his lips, occasionally pushing his tongue out to lick you.

You're a complete mess by now. Having his lips back on you, roaming your body, has never felt more amazing than it does right now. He unbuttons your shorts and pulls them down from your legs, and you swear, you could come right there. He doesn't even have to touch you.

He settles in on his stomach between your legs, kissing just above your underwear line. He can tell just by the way the fabric looks how wet you are for him. He grins and then lifts both your legs over his shoulders, smirking up at you.

This is what you've dreamed about. What you've pictured every time you needed to get yourself off because JJ just couldn't do it. Every time, you imagined Rafe between your legs, smirking and ready to work.

"God, I've missed your shit," he mutters, more to himself than to you. You would respond, but you don't think you can.

He brings his head down and grabs ahold of your underwear with his teeth, pulling it away from you. As you watch, you gasp, feeling the cool North Carolina evening air surround you. Rafe brings his hand up and drags the underwear the rest of the way off, but you pretend not to notice when he tucks them in his pocket.

"I need you to tell me, baby."

You bring your head up and look at him, as if to ask what he wants you to say. When you see the look on his face, you flash back to the very last time you had sex with him. Rafe had been teasing you, telling you that you weren't allowed to come until you admitted that he's ruined your body. You finally said it, knowing it was true.

"You've ruined me, Rafe," you pant, the impatience forming a knot in your stomach, "You're the only person who can fuck me."

He laughs, but it's a narcissistic one. He already knew this information, he just wanted to you admit it to him now that you've been fucking JJ for months.

"I know it, pretty girl."

By the time his lips even come close to your core, you're sure you're going to come. The moan you let out when he finally kisses you down there is an unholy one. However, it's music to Rafe's ears. It only encourages him to continue, doing extra to show you how much he missed you and how much better he is at pleasing you than JJ Maybank.

You start to squirm, so he brings his hand from your thigh to your stomach, holding you down. His motion, his dominant and possessive motion, makes you let go right there. You're practically screaming as you do so, thankful for this boy and his ability to give you a mind-blowing orgasm. Rafe grins and licks you clean, trying to figure out if it had only been one minute or two before he got you.

"Oh, my God," you moan out, legs relaxing on his shoulders.

You want to be embarrassed, but you know that Rafe knows it's been a while since you came like that. Although, you'd never dare tell him that you had to think about him last night while JJ was fucking you.

"Rafe," you moan, feeling his hand slip from your stomach as he crawls back up to you.

"Yes, baby?"

"God, Rafe," you repeat his name, which only makes the tent in his shorts grow taller. He wonders how many times you've wanted to moan and plead for him with JJ.

"Right here," he snickers, bringing his lips to yours.

He shoves his tongue in your mouth roughly, swirling it around with yours. You moan against his lips as his other hand goes down to rub your center.

"Can you taste yourself on my tongue?" he displays his devilish smirk when he pulls away.

You nod, still panting and trying to catch your breath. He slips one finger inside of you, just trying to tease you.

"Oh, God, Rafe," you grab onto his bicep as he moves his hand, still recovering from your last orgasm.

You look up at him, watching the way the moon reflects off his soft skin. You reach up and stroke his face, making his eyes move from his fingers inside you to your face.

"God, you're so handsome," you tell him.

Even though he just ate you out like a pro and now has a finger buried deeper inside you than JJ ever could, he feels his cheeks heat up. You take the hat off his head and run your hands through his hair, tugging at it lightly.

"Rafe," you say again, earning his attention, "Let me do something for you."

He removes his finger from inside of you, then moves up and undoes his shorts. You sit up, thinking he's getting ready for you, which is why you're surprised when he shoves you back down.

"Uh-uh," he shakes his head at you, removing his shorts and underwear in one movement, "This is about you, tonight. Plus, if I don't come inside you soon, I might just explode in my shorts."

You grin, kissing him once again as he climbs on top of you. You accept his kiss, eager to feel him fill you up. He lines himself up, but teases you when he rubs the tip of his dick against you.

"Rafe," you whine.

"You better keep saying my name, baby."

He slips inside of you, listening to your pretty moans as he completely fills you up. Every inch he pushes in is one more he has to stretch out, which makes him groan into the nape of your neck.

"Jesus, JJ's dick has to be small," he mutters to you, "No way you've gotten tighter since last time. God."

You can't even see straight once he's all the way in you. Finally, after months of agony, of bad sex, of daydreaming and masturbating, he's inside of you again. You finally feel whole, complete, and happy.

"Can I move, baby?" he asks you, groaning once again at how tight you are wrapped around him.

"Yes, please, Rafe."

He snickers into your skin, moving his mouth over from your neck to your shoulder. Your moans and gasps fuel him as he works his lips, kissing every inch of your skin. He leans his head up after a minute, watching you take everything he's giving you.

"Hmm," he hums, "Good girl."

You have to actively tell yourself not to come when he says that. You feel his hand travel from your breast up to your throat, fingers resting in their rightful place around you. He squeezes - not too hard, but enough to make you want to scream.

"Holy shit, no way," Rafe grunts, and you feel him twitch and then spill himself inside of you.

"Rafe," you say, trying to tell him it's okay.

"Fuck," he swears, but doesn't stop. If anything, he thrusts up into you even harder to get you to come. He knows it won't take long, the way you're squirming underneath him.

He hits your spot, making you scream. You're sure Rafe had been right - someone's bound to hear you two with how loud Rafe always makes you.

"Come on, baby," he coaxes you, squeezing a little harder around your throat.

"Oh, God," you cry out.

"That's it. Come for me."

You do as you're told almost immediately as he finishes his sentence. He continues to hit your spot as you ride out your orgasm, making you scream louder than ever before. When you finally come down from it, your legs are shaking and Rafe looks exhausted.

He collapses down on you, not bothering to remove himself from inside you. You're still breathing hard, trying to come down from the high that always comes with fucking Rafe.

"Oh, my God," Rafe whispers, pressing a kiss to the skin just above your breasts, "It's honestly a crime that we stopped this. It's too fucking good."

"It's not like we just stopped," you tell him, as if he's unaware, "There were reasons."

Rafe grows quiet, replaying your many conversations and fights in his head. He reaches his hand down and wraps his fingers through yours, silently trying to tell you he doesn't want to fuck up again.

"I remember," he murmurs after a few minutes.

He finally pulls himself out of you and reaches through the back window to grab another blanket. When he returns to you, he crawls on top of you once again, letting his head rest on your chest and his body between your legs. You bring one hand up to his hair and the other down to his back, softly scratching underneath the blanket he covers the two of you with.

"Maybe," he speaks after a while, having been enjoying your back scratches, "It can be different this time."

You sigh, not wanting to start a fight when you can still feel the spot inside of you aching. He doesn't know what to make of your silence, so he just runs his hand up and down the length of your torso.

"Like, I don't know, we could try harder. And-"

"Rafe," you stop him, your voice strained, "There were a lot of reasons why it didn't work."

He looks up at you and nods, then lays his head back down with a sadder expression. You run your hand through his hair again, deciding to change the subject.

"Are you growing it out?"

"I don't know," he sighs, clearly annoyed you don't want to finish that conversation, "I just fell into a little hole and couldn't really do much. Apparently, hair cuts fall into the 'much' category."

You want to ask about it, about his 'little hole', but you stay quiet. He kisses your stomach again, not knowing how many butterflies swim around your stomach when he does.

"Are you gonna leave him?"

You move your head down to look at him, almost to see if you heard him right. He doesn't bother looking up at you, he already knows the answer.

"No," you finally say, "I'm not leaving JJ."

Rafe snickers against your bare skin, reaching up and playing with your nipple just to prove he can.

"So, you're just gonna have bad sex and live on the Cut for the rest of your life?"

You sit up now, completely displacing him. He sits up, too, but lets you wrap the blanket around yourself. He stares into your eyes, knowing what he said was a little fucked up, but not knowing how to apologize for it.

"I didn't say I was gonna marry him," you defend, keeping your voice low so you don't start a fight.

"Right," Rafe laughs, "But he's nice to you. So why wouldn't you?"

You roll your eyes, "What do you want me to say, Rafe? You want me to say I'll leave him so I can fuck you in the back of your truck day in and day out? You don't even want to be with me like that-"

"You don't know what I fucking want," Rafe snaps at you.

He leaves you to process his sentence, standing up and grabbing the clothes thrown about. He throws your stuff in front of you, then slides on his shorts. He tucks his own underwear in his pocket, realizing silently that yours are still in there. Even though he's irritated, he hangs onto them anyway.

You sigh and stand up, pulling on your own shirt and shorts. His eyes soften when he sees that you're upset, knowing this is not how either of you wanted to end the night.

"Hey," he steps over to you, grabbing your arms and pulling you around to face him, "I'm sorry. I'm not going to give you my blessing to stay with Maybank or whatever, but I get it. You gave me a shot back in August and I blew it. So, do what you gotta do. But you gotta understand, I've been suffering pretty bad since then. So, I'll do whatever it takes to see you. Even if it means sneaking around."

You smile softly and stand on your tip-toes to give him a kiss. He accepts it, trailing his hand around your waist to pull you even closer.

"Thank you," you say, "I honestly don't know what to think right now. Can I take some time to figure it all out?"

Rafe nods, reaching up to tuck hair behind your ear, "Take all the time you need to."

You smile at him again, letting him wrap his arms around you and pull you in for a hug. You breathe in his scent, loving that you get to smell him again. He kisses the top of your head, thankful that he was able to use his words and actually not be an asshole to you for the first time since you two got involved.

"Come on. I'll take you home."

He leads you over to the edge of the bed, jumping down first and then holding his hand out for you. He puts the back up and then walks you over to the passenger side, holding the door open.

Rafe keeps a hand on you the entire time he drives. It's not that far from the bridge, only about ten minutes, but still. He can't seem to keep his hands off you. It's almost like he thinks you'll evaporate if he doesn't keep his grip on you.

He shuts off the headlights as soon as he pulls into your driveway, so as not to draw attention with your parents. You lean over the console and grab onto the collar of his shirt again, pulling him in for a kiss.

He grabs onto the back of your neck and deepens it, wanting nothing more than to make you crawl into his lap and let him fuck you right here. You pull away just in time, because Rafe's not sure he can stop.

"Um, so," he says awkwardly, looking at the radio instead of you, "I'd like to see you again, if that's all right."

Rafe almost makes you laugh when he gets like this, because he's so dominant when he fucks you, but can never seem to play it cool when he is vulnerable.

"Yeah," you nod, "How about tomorrow?"

Every anxiety melts away from Rafe when you ask him that. He looks over at you, knowing you're serious, and raises an eyebrow.

"Already ready for more?" he smirks, setting his hand back down on your thigh.

"I was ready about ten seconds after it was over," you inform him, "Which, by the way, didn't take very long."

He groans as you tease him about how long he lasts, but you know with his smirk, he's getting ready to tell you the same thing.

"Oh, please. I kissed you one time, right here," he traces his fingers over your core through your shorts, "And you fucking came all over me."

Your cheeks turn red as he reminds you of it. You shake your head and bite your lip, and Rafe has to look away so as not to get hard again.

"All right, well, we both need to work on it, then."

"Tomorrow it is," he decides.

He leans over and kisses you one more time, then removes his hand from your leg to allow you to get out.

"Hey," he raises his voice once you hop out of the truck, "Could you, like, not fuck JJ before I see you tomorrow?"

Your mouth falls open at the request, surprised he even asked you that. It honestly hadn't even crossed your mind - you truly had no desire to do that, anyway.

"We'll see," you tease.

Rafe groans loudly, making you laugh.

"I'm not going to," you state, voice more serious than before. Rafe just nods, feeling bad for asking but not bad enough to not do it. You give him another smile and then close the door of the truck, waving to him once you reach the front door.

When your mom asks you how JJ is, you reply 'fine'. When she asks you if you'll be hanging out with him again tomorrow night, you say 'yep'. And when you finally get up to your room and collapse on the bed, you realize that you, in fact, are not wearing any underwear.

The next morning, you wake up with two missed calls and a voicemail from JJ. It's Sunday, no school, so you have no idea why he's calling you early.

"Hey, sweet girl," he greets your voicemail inbox, "John B, Kie and I are taking the boat out. Wanted to see if you would join. You're probably still asleep, that's okay. I'll call you when we get back to see what's up. Sleep tight. I- ah, I'll see you later. Bye, princess."

Your breath hitches in your throat at the end, wondering if he was about to say those three words. He can't. You two have only been dating for a few months. You're sure as hell not there yet, so how could he be?

You send him a short text in response to his voicemail, not even questioning his stutter at the end.

Just got your message. Slept in. Sorry. Got family stuff going on tonight, so I'll just see you for school tomorrow. XOXO.

You throw your phone down on your bed and sigh, wondering how you're going to fill your day now that JJ's busy. You grin when you realize it's Sunday - Rafe isn't working. You sort through your contacts until you find his number, one you couldn't bare to delete when you two ended things the first time.

JJ = Busy. Y/N = Bored. Come over. Need you.

You add the last part just because you know it will send him running. One thing you know about Rafe Cameron's feelings for you: you have him absolutely wrapped around your finger. Your phone buzzes a minute later, making you smile.

JJ: I miss you. Want to see you. What kind of family stuff? Maybe I can come by.

You sigh. As sweet as this boy is, sometimes you just wish he would leave you alone. You attempt to type out a reply, but immediately click on Rafe's message when it comes through.

Rafe: Already on the way. Hope you're hungry.

You grin and try not to get too excited that you get to see him so soon. You open JJ's text again, typing out a quick reply.

It's my parents. They want a family night in. I'll see you tomorrow morning.

You hope that will satisfy your boyfriend enough for now. You know he'll call you later anyway, so you don't worry about disappointing him.

You rise from your bed and attempt to fix up your hair, then change out of your pajamas so you don't look like a seven year old when Rafe gets here. Just as you finish pulling your hair up into a ponytail, you hear a knock on your window. Your head shoots over as you see Rafe, with a goofy grin on his face, waving at you. He holds up a bag of food, as if it's an incentive for you to open the window.

You laugh and walk over, unlocking and pulling it up to see him. The second the window is up high enough, he grabs onto your wrist and pulls you in for a kiss. He has to tell himself not to drop the food on the ground, wanting nothing more than to grab onto both sides of your face and keep you against him.

"Hi," he greets you once he pulls away, his lips extra pink from the chapstick he took off you.

"Hi," you reply, smiling like an idiot.

You just can't get over how, in a few short days, you and Rafe have fallen back into your old ways. Except this time, it's not a booty call in the middle of the night, and he brought you breakfast. He never used to see you during the day like this.

"Are you gonna invite me in, babe? It's, like, muddy out here."

You snicker and reach for the bag of food, setting it inside on your desk before nodding for him to enter.

"Careful, Cameron," you tease him, "We don't have a maid to shine your shoes over here on the Cut."

Rafe rolls his eyes, reaching out for your hand as he climbs through your window. He has to move his body at several different angles to fit through, given that he's so tall. He finally stands in front of you, instinctively setting his hands on your hips and pulling you into him.

"I was planning on surprising you. Kinda ruined it, being all horny and shit."

You pull your head from his chest and glare up at him, watching him snicker.

"I am not horny," you say, even though you both know it's a lie.

"Need you," Rafe mocks your text, pulling you down on your bed. You cuddle into his lap, letting him rest a hand on your thigh.

"Whatever," you huff. He laughs lightly above you, then kisses the top of your head.

"Just teasing, baby."

You grow quiet on him, thinking about how easy this would be. You still have so many hesitations from the way things went last time. Rafe used to be such an asshole, he was always coked out, and he flat out told you he didn't want to be with you. Now, as you sit with him and breathe him in, you think he might be wanting something different.

"I don't mean to be obsessive," Rafe says after a few minutes, "But these shoes are expensive as hell and there was a lot of mud outside."

"Just... buy new ones," you grumble, cuddling your face into his neck. He groans, not wanting to get up from you, either. But his shoes.

"Baby," he groans. You swear that nickname will never get old to you. Not when it comes from him, "Come with me to clean them off."

He doesn't give you time to respond, he just guides your legs around his waist and then stands up, supporting your weight with one arm. If you weren't turned on before, you sure as hell are now. Your arms wrap around his neck, clinging to him.

He carries you to his bathroom and sets you down on your vanity like a toddler. You signal for a kiss, but it's lost in translation as he's too worried about his shoes. He slips them off and grabs a washcloth, wetting it before slowly and carefully wiping the mud off.

"Does mud stain?" he asks you, keeping his eyes focused on his work.

"Dunno," you reply, irked that he didn't give you your kiss.

His eyes flicker up to yours, and when he sees your expression, he knows he's done something wrong.

"All right," he sighs, "Out with it."

You smile at how well he knows you. You tease him, only shrugging your shoulders and frowning, as if to give him the silent treatment. He stands up, mumbling under his breath about how 'fucking annoying' you can be sometimes. He sets his shoe and the washcloth down, then steps in between your legs and sets both hands on your thighs as he stares at you.

"You better tell me what I fucking did," he warns, his voice low.

You inch your head forward until you're so close you can feel his breath on your cheek. You think about how the food must be getting cold.

"Yes, sir," you whisper.

Rafe groans, then gives in to his want. He kisses you, reaching up and grabbing hold of your cheeks to keep you pressed to him. He practically devours you, but you don't mind one bit. His kisses feel too good.

He drops one hand from your face to the top of your shorts, wasting no time at all as he shoves his hand into them. You're wearing nothing underneath, making him smirk.

"No underwear?" he smirks, flicking his fingers against you, "Is it because I still have them from last night?"

Before you can respond, he shoves his fingers inside of you. Two of them, but you know he'll add the third one in no time. You moan out immediately, which makes Rafe feel like a fucking god.

"I can't-" you try to speak, but Rafe shakes his head and uses his other hand to cover your mouth.

"Can't risk getting caught," he tells you, excusing his actions. Not that he needs to. All they do is turn you on even more.

You just nod against his hand, and when he feels you clench around his fingers, he shoves a third one in. You moan loudly, luckily his hand catches most of the sound.

"Mhm," Rafe nods, watching you take his fingers like a pro, "So much for the silent treatment, baby."

He considers pulling his fingers out as punishment, but he decides to be nice. He quickens his pace, but he knows you need more than that. He curls his fingers inside of you, practically making you scream.

"That's it," he grins.

You come about ten seconds later. He keeps his fingers in you as you ride out your orgasm, then removes them and licks them clean when you're through.

"Jesus," you groan once his hand comes off your mouth.

He pulls your shorts down from your legs, and for a second you think he isn't done with you yet. But when he reaches under your sink and grabs a clean washcloth, you know what he's up to. He wets it with lukewarm water, then looks at you gently.

"Can I clean you up?" he asks, his voice quieter than usual.

You nod, letting him work. He wipes you up and makes sure you're good, sealing the deal with a kiss on your inner thigh. You lean forward and give him a kiss on the lips, unable to process how this sweet boy is in your house with you, making you come so hard and your heart flutter at the same time.

"Now," he says, sitting back down on the floor and picking up his shoe, "If you don't mind."

You laugh and nod your head. You can't believe he's so casual about having just fingered you and making you come in three minutes.

You sit there and watch him, admiring how careful he is with his cleaning. He looks so handsome to you, with his hair slightly in his eyes, focus and determination etched in his eyebrows. You watch the way he clenches his jaw when he misses a spot with the washcloth, and the way he smiles so softly to himself when he does it right. He can feel your eyes on him, and he tries to ignore it, but he can't take it anymore.

"What?"

He doesn't look over at you, he keeps his gaze on his shoe. You shrug.

"You're just so handsome, Rafe Cameron."

He freezes, dropping his shoe slightly from his grip.

"Shit," he mutters to himself, then stands up and steps over to you.

He places himself in between your legs again, leaning down and kissing you gently. One hand wraps itself around your neck as he deepens the kiss, knowing he's getting you hot again.

"You're beautiful," he informs you, peppering kisses along your cheeks and jaw, "Very, insanely beautiful."

You smile, "Thank you."

He continues kissing you, leaving a final one on your lips before pulling away.

"God, you really know how to distract a guy," he grumbles. Despite his attitude, he gives you one more kiss before he goes back to his cleaning.

"Sorry," you shrug, even though you both know you're not.

The bathroom grows quiet as you continue to watch Rafe work. He doesn't speak and neither do you, but it's a comfortable silence. You're almost completely relaxed when you hear what sounds like your bedroom door opening. You tense and sit up, afraid of your parents catching Rafe here. Rafe glances over at you, not looking concerned at all. He almost looks amused.

"Sweetheart?"

Tags: @pogueslandia @sarahwasfound

[lord-squiggletits]

One of the thing I love about IDW Op is that he's technically an atheist war pope. It's interesting that he didn't believe in religious aspect himself but was willing to use it for the power. Made his character more complex to me. Do you have opinion on this topic?

I have a lot of mixed feelings about it tbh. On one hand, I think being an atheist/agnostic fits IDW Optimus' character well (I've tried to imagine him as religious and just...can't), but on the other hand, I kind of have a problem with the way most media depicts religious people, and it's a bit disappointing that the Matrix has canonically been associated with multiple miracles (reviving OP and Hot Rod from death, creating new sparks, even Primus/Rung being able to make them) but Optimus still calls the Matrix 'nothing but a bauble' at some point like. Really bro? So there is a part of me that is disappointed at the Matrix being treated as a Plot Device rather than a proper, respectable religious thing. On the other hand, that's just not what the story is about, and I can't call a story/character bad because it didn't go in the exact direction I wanted.

TLDR: I think Optimus being agnostic/atheist makes sense for him, but I really dislike the way it was handled in the story because it feels more like it was used as a plot inciting device than some sort of journey of Optimus trying to discover his purpose. Also, the way he interacts with other religious characters had a lot of wasted potential, so I just feel like it wasn't written in a very interesting way? Basically, the writing is such a mixed bag of interesting concepts with mediocre/bad execution that I can barely focus on the in-universe implications and mostly just get mad at Barber's writing.

My feelings are also complicated by the fact that I don't like Barber's writing at all (it's like 90% dislike and 10% like) because of how bad he is about prioritizing plot over character emotions and stuff. Earlier on in phase 2 it seemed as if Optimus was genuinely curious about his religious role as a Prime and asked the Camiens for guidance on who he should be as Prime (Windblade, Aileron, the Mistress of Flame). In Death of Optimus Prime, OP literally wished he was dead when he woke up. He made a very big deal about how he's Orion now, not Optimus. In Dark Cybertron he had a whole crisis about whether he's Orion or Optimus. Basically, he was set up to have a huge identity crisis (especially since the war is over and leadership of Cybertron fell to Starscream), but any amount of introspection was quickly derailed into PLOT PLOT PLOT OPTIMUS ANNEXES EARTH AND FIGHTS GALVATRON. The story just devolved into bullshit plot on Earth that was just action, action, plot, things happening, with pretty much no room for the characters to stop and breathe and talk and have relationships with each other. I barely felt any emotional investment for most of exRID.

I think the only scenes we got with Optimus actually getting to reflect on this new role of his was 1. when he first met Aileron and asked her and 2. when he's telling Aileron he doesn't believe and then Pyra Magna comes in and gets mad at him.

Speaking of Pyra Magna, the story writing also annoyed me because from the moment she was introduced, Pyra Magna was SUPER self-righteous about how she should be the Prime instead of Optimus and she said that she would try to make Optimus into a better Prime. But then guess what happens? Her and Optimus barely talk and Pyra Magna is basically just there to form Superion and punch people :/ And then later on when Onyx Prime is introduced, all the sudden Pyra Magna goes from having strong opinions about what a True Prime should be and believing she's destined to be the true Prime........ to talking about how she's never trusted Primes and she left the Mistress of Flame for trusting a Prime too quickly??? I know Pyra Magna isn't Optimus, but the reason I'm bringing her up is because she seemed truly religious and opinionated, she SAID she was going to "teach" Optimus things, she seemed like she was set up to be a rival to Optimus, but instead they barely have interactions and the ones they do have early in the series end up being retconned later by Barber's shitty writing that puts plot over consistent character development so. :/ I really expected Pyra Magna and Optimus to have some meaningful interactions, some mix between a rivalry and a mentor/student situation, but instead all she does is shit on him like half the case of exRID/OP and it just made me mad.

(There was also Slide who went from worshipping Optimus to saying that his leadership style is "literally fascism" and monologuing about how Optimus is a conqueror while fighting Unicron and Trypticon is being killed in the background. She's so fucking annoying and comically stupid that I genuinely thought she was going to betray them or do something evil just because she was so unhinged.)

But if you want my actual in-universe opinion on atheist pope Optimus, I do think it's an interesting concept. It shows off Optimus' sense of duty where even though HE doesn't believe, he thinks that what other people think of him his more important. He sees that being a religious figure can help him do what he thinks is right, so he willingly plays that role as a means to a greater end. He's already a "patriot and hero" to the Autobots thanks to his military feats; he's used to being venerated (sometimes to unhealthy degrees) and knows how powerful his influence can be whenever he makes political decisions. I think that he basically saw the Camiens' worship of him as just a new form of the admiration he was already used to receiving. He's spent his whole life commanding armies so simply adopted the colonists into his ranks as well.

(Also, side note, it's so fucking hypocritical for Pyra Magna to call Optimus a piece of shit for "using belief, but not believing" only for her herself to admit a few volumes later that she's never trusted Primes. Why do you wanna be one so badly then if you think Primes are so awful? If it's because you think you could do a better job than past Primes, that literally makes you the same as Optimus, who is also trying to redeem the title of Prime, so you have no right to be punching Optimus in the face lmao. But I also genuinely can't tell if that hypocrisy is supposed to be deliberate or if Barber just did what he usually did and ignored character emotion/motivation/self-reflection in favor of shoving some backstory in for Pyra Magna that tied her to Onyx Prime.)

At least Optimus tried to discourage the blind worship and used the Camiens to do things he had already spent his whole life doing (fighting genocidal colonizers aka Decepticons and protecting organic lives) so I don't really see it as out of line for Optimus. It shows how IDW OP can be a politician as well as a military leader. I think it shows how Optimus can be clever and take advantage of his reputation to achieve his political goals (protecting Earth) and it makes him a more realistic character. Sometimes things that are good aren't done through noble means. Sometimes people do good things by being not very nice.

Also, for what it's worth, I think IDW OP is less manipulative than someone like Starscream, who constantly flaunted his "Chosen One" status while admitting he didn't believe in it (or wavering in his belief) and doing things like creating secret police and trying to kidnap sparklings. Like damn at least Optimus risked his life in the same battles he asked his followers to fight in, he ruined his reputation for the sake of protecting Earth from the Decepticons. Even if the guy is an atheist pope at least he puts his own ass on the line for things he believes in for the sake of protecting people who pretty much hate him lmao. That's why I'm more inclined to view Optimus sympathetically; he's living a lie for political means, but his politics are literally "protect humans and Earth from the bullshit war and destruction Cybertronians forced onto their planet", and the burden of leadership is making him depressed and passively suicidal, and eventually he literally sacrificed himself by jumping into a black hole to save millions/billions of people so like. Let the guy fucking rest lmao.

[heybank]

meet grace 💜🪻

some headcanons i had about my oc from my fic

name: grace olivia carter.

face claim: barbara palvin sprouse

she's a huge lover, kind to everyone and loved by the whole island (even the kooks like her despite her being a pogue)

like everyone greets her and she'll be like omg hi nance, how's the new baby? and she genuinely cares and remembers little things about EVERYONE she meets

she's vegetarian and even though she knows the boys fish to eat, it still upsets her, but she'd never tell them to stop.

doesn't have a good relationship with her family. doesn't know her dad and her mom is very absent, always dating new men and usually on the mainland.

she's known jj the longest because she's his neighbour. luke and her mom hooked up once and gracie sobbed for a week straight because she couldn't comprehend her mom being with someone who treats the love of her life (jj) like that.

she was so conflicted when she started to catch feelings for pope bc she felt like she was betraying her love for jj even tho they weren't together.

so much inner turmoil only for both boys to be totally hearteyes for her too.

she is always looking for sea life but isn't super fond of swimming because the darkness of the ocean scares her. wears a life vest when on the boat with her friends sometimes if they go out deeper than the coast.

loves to take pictures of her friends and make collages. her room is covered with them

she has a polaroid camera she takes with her everywhere and saves up tip money from her job to buy film

makes little friendship bracelets for everyone and they all wear them and would never dream of taking them off.

once john bs broke and he lost it surfing and he cried into her stomach until she pet his hair and made him a new one.

she's very physically affectionate with everyone so it's not uncommon for her to be sitting or hanging onto a pogue

it's why no one thought anything was different once her, pope, and jj started dating bc she always cuddled them like that before. now she just sneaks in kisses when no one is watching hehehe.

after her and pope started dating she asked pope and mrs heyward to teach her how to care for and style popes hair because acts of service is one of her love languages. it was also a lovely way to bond with pope and his family

she let jj give her a stick and poke tattoo on her thigh that says lover

when the three of them started dating she obsessively googled and watched so much porn involving 2 dudes because she was a virgin and wanted to be good for them

despite being a lover girl and kind to everyone she'll secretly destroy your life if you hurt someone she loves- she can be MANIACAL but no one will know it was her.

i have so many more headcanons for this girl. please ask me questions if you want!!

taglist:

@theoraekenslover

@redhead1180

@motherfing-stargirl