#i feel like every time i do a digital piece i get maybe .01% closer to making one i feel actually satisfied with

[gralixe]

captain and his first mate on their dinghy (click for better quality)

[i-stan-nct-and-satan]

Not Broken (Jaehyun Mafia au pt 16)

Not Broken Masterlist 

Jaehyun X Reader

Y/N is a burlesque dancer living in Seoul. Jaehyun is one of the most powerful mafia men in Seoul. How will Y/N survive when Jaehyun suspects that she is involved with a rival gang?

Reasons to read this story: Ten’s a cross-dressing madam so….. yeah read it ya freaks.

Trigger Warning: mentions of past abuse

Beep! Beep! Beep!

My head instinctively turned to stare at the alarm. I watched as it continued to beep. Usually, the harsh tones of the alarm were enough launch me out of bed. Every morning I somehow managed to reach the ungodly contraption to silence it before it even began to muster out its third beep.  

Not today though.  

I had been lying awake long before my alarm started to sing its first note. I had just been staring at the ceiling, anticipating the events that were to come. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get at least a bit of sleep. I probably managed to get in a few hours before waking up to see that the neon green numbers I had gotten used to seeing read, 2:46 a.m.  

My mind was too anxious to fall back asleep, but my body was too stubborn to leave the comfort of the satin sheets which were messily draped over my body.

I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about what awaited me and I felt as though leaving my bed would be what put said events into motion. Thus, when my alarm began ringing, signaling to me that it was time to get up, instead of rushing to towards it, I merely stared at it. I continued staring until the digital clock changed from 4:00 to 4:01 and then to 4:02 and finally to 4:03 before I decided it would be best to put an end to the incessant beeping before it caused a disturbance to those who still might be sleeping.  

I dragged my body towards the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked dead, not like I cared. In a way, I felt as though I might actually be dead; that perhaps I died long ago and that every event since my death was the result of divine punishment. Punishment for what, I didn’t know.  

I chuckled at the overly dramatic thought.

I splashed cold water onto my face in an attempt to return my rationalities, though it was no use. There was nothing rational about my situation, so how could I think rationally while in it?

I instinctively began brushing my hair, before stopping midway to curse myself. It was like I could see into the future. That narcissistic scumbag, Jaehyun, would interpret any step I took to freshen up as an attempt to impress him, something I definitely didn’t want him thinking.  

When I trained with Jeno, it would take me roughly an hour to fully wake myself up, get dressed, and freshen up before heading down to the training room around 4:50. I could tell that today, I wouldn’t need as much time to ready myself.  

I quickly tied my hair up in a ponytail, simply to keep it out of my face. When I opened my closet, Jaehyun’s words found themselves at the front of my mind.

“You should wear something blue. The color suits you.”

I scoffed to myself as I grabbed the first blue piece of clothing I saw and threw it to the side, missing the trashcan by more than a few feet. I instead picked out a yellow workout shirt and grabbed my regular leggings from the floor. I only had a few pair of leggings so I would often re-wear the same pair, not wanting to wash them after every use. I brought the leggings up to my nose and smelled the already worn-out fabric. They were definitely reaching the point where they needed a wash. I put them on anyway. A part of me hoped that the smell of old sweat would keep Jaehyun from making any advances, or at least turn him off from the thought.  

It reminded me of how women would skip shaving their legs before a date to prevent themselves from going home with a guy, though in my case, it was like putting my legs on display to keep the guy from thinking I’d want to go home with her in the first place.  

I looked at the clock.  

4:34.

I definitely finished getting ready much earlier than usual, but I didn’t want to make any steps towards the door just yet. I even considered waiting until it was after 5:00 to leave my room, just to spite Jaehyun for telling me that being late wasn’t an option. This thought lost traction as soon as I remembered the things Jaehyun was capable of when even just the tiniest bit annoyed.  

Better not to anger him.

<><><><><><>

“Right on time, babe,” Jaehyun welcomed me in the most unwelcoming way possible.

He was already on sitting on one of the weight machines. From the beads of sweat that dripped down his jaw on onto his white t-shirt, I could tell that he had already gotten in quite the workout. I wondered how long he had been there for.  

I didn’t want to ignore him, but I didn’t want to exactly engage with him in conversation either, so I gave him my best “fuck you” smile and proceeded to set my water bottle down on the mat.

“What?  No greeting? Not even any pleasantries?” Jaehyun asked as he stood up from the machine. He stared back at me using one of the gym’s towels to wipe his red tinted face.  

I silently scoffed, smiling at his audacity.  

“Oh, I’m sorry. Hello Jaehyun! How are you? Still holding women captive and forcing them to be your bride? Oh, you are? Well, isn’t that just swell?”  

I expected Jaehyun to snap at me for such insolence, or to at least look a little upset, but he just smiled back at me and laughed.  

“That’s funny,” He said wagging his finger at me.  

“Just remember, who’s training you for the next hour.”

I froze, unconsciously biting my tongue. He was right. I shouldn’t push my luck too much. I had no idea why Jaehyun was in such a good mood this morning, but I knew it was in my best interest for it to stay that way. At least until after our little competition.  

Like a beaten dog who’s finely entuned to their master’s change in mood, I noticed a sudden glint of disappointment in his eyes. I watched them trail over my body in search of something he just couldn’t find.  

Once he noticed my noticing, he exhaled abruptly as if he were expelling his thoughts along with his breath.  

“Let’s start by going over yesterday’s match.“

I stared at him silently, waiting for him to elaborate further.  

Jaehyun looked away briefly, clearing his throat in order to break the silence.  

“I am of course, referring to the tactic you used...”

I continued to stare at him not quite sure where he was going. He stared back, gauging my reactions.  

“-or am I just assuming that your decision to storm me was a strategical one?”  

“Does it matter? It didn’t work,” I responded.  

Jaehyun relaxed a little.  

“Ah. So, it was thought out.”

I silently sighed to myself, ready for him to explain why my strategy was flawed or how my impulsiveness is what led to my defeat. I already began piecing together my response. I’d probably ask him how else I was supposed to fight against someone much stronger than myself, or if there even was such a tactic. I could feel the words bubble in my throat waiting for the criticisms, he was about to list.

“You surprised me. That’s not something that happens very often. You should be proud.”

“Wait, what?” I blurted out, suddenly breaking my façade of nonchalance.  

Jaehyun’s eyes widened a bit only for them to crinkle as he laughed.  

“What? Were you expecting me to say something else?”

I reached my hand up to rub the back of my neck. Once Jaehyun understood that I wasn’t going to give any more of a reply, he flashed me a smile that seemed too genuine to have come from a man so... well, ingenuine.  

“I’m being serious. I was really quite impressed. You were fighting against someone you had no chance of winning against, at least not with physical prowess, so you came up with a strategy and not just any strategy, a good one. You understood that I had certain expectations of you and you somehow managed to subvert those expectations in your favor. I had expected you to be hesitant in your actions and assumed that you would wait for me to make the first move. Yet, as soon as the whistle blew you came at me full force. I mean-” Jaehyun stopped abruptly to stare at me.

I was smiling.  

I hadn’t meant to. I just wasn’t thinking about it. I mean, could you blame me? Maybe it was just my ego. What can I say? I’m the type of person who likes being praised. Sue me.  

As soon as I realized why the sudden pause, I forced my face back into one of disinterest. I silently prayed that he would let it slide just this once.  

He didn’t.

“Don’t get big-headed on me now. Just because a cat learns it has stripes, it doesn’t suddenly make it a tiger. You still have a long way to go before you’re ready to use your claws,” He said with a smirk.

I couldn’t tell who I was more embarrassed for; me, for having come across as a girl who just got called pretty by her crush, or him, for having used such a cheesy metaphor, one he was somehow proud of.  

“Now let’s go over some technique. Yesterday, when you charged me, I used a simple maneuver to use your own force against you. Come over here, I’ll show you,” He explained, walking towards the center of the mat.

I hesitated but opted to follow suit as he had instructed. I stopped when I was roughly 4 feet in front of him.  

He took a few steps closer, causing me to back away.  

He paused.  

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to slam you down this time. I’m just going to show you what I did so that you can learn how to avoid it next time, or perhaps even do the same to me.”

I didn’t back away because I thought that he would slam me down on the mat. It hadn’t even crossed my mind. I just didn’t really feel comfortable with being handled by him, even if it was for instructional purposes.  

He stood there, waiting for me to come closer. When I didn’t, he took another step towards me instead.  

Again, I took a step back.  

Jaehyun let out a sigh.  

“How am I supposed to teach you if you won’t even let me touch you?” He asked, obviously annoyed.

“Can’t you just explain it to me verbally?”

“Of course, not. Even if I were to show you the move by doing it on someone else, that doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to recreate it when push comes to shove. Muscle memory is important. You should know that as a dancer.”

I quirked my head to the side.

“You can learn to dance from watching others dance.” I retorted.  

Jaehyun stared at me as if he were a teacher waiting for a disruptive student to stop acting out.

I looked down at the floor.  

“That may be true when preforming a solo act,” He began.  

“But what about when you’re learning a choreography that includes more than one person?”

“Then we practice the choreo on our own. Even when we practice together, it’s not like we really need each other,” I asserted.  

Jaehyun groaned.  

“I’m talking about dances that directly rely on being in sync with the other person’s moves. Like this.”  

Before I could dodge his advance, Jaehyun wrapped his arm around me, capturing my waist and pulling my body into his so that our chests were practically pressed together. I tried to wriggle my way out of his grip but before I could, he used his other hand to grab mine, tightly squeezing it as if warning me that he was not in the mood to play games.  

“Can you waltz?” He asked.

“Never tried it.” I answered.

Without any other warning, Jaehyun began moving his feet dragging me along with him.  

As he moved in precise uniform movements, I stumbled around awkwardly, somehow managing to step onto his feet with every other step. Instead of scolding me, Jaehyun continued to waltz, ignoring my steps as though I were merely a ragdoll he was throwing around as he danced to a song only he could hear.

“The Waltz is a uniform dance with very little room for variance. One could learn the steps and even master them on their own only to flounder around like a fish when matched with a partner.”  

“Yeah, but you can’t exactly learn the steps from practice alone. You need some sort of instruction,” I complained.  

Jaehyun’s steps came to a sudden halt. Instead of releasing me like I had expected him to, he let my body fall, catching it in what I recognized as a “dip.”

“I completely agree, so why don’t we do a little of both? I’ll lead.”  

He released his grip on me and I fell flat onto the mat.  

I sat up, seething with annoyance. Jaehyun stared at me, arms crossed and with a grin so wicked, it’d make the devil anxious, though I’d be surprised if a devil greater than Jaehyun truly existed.

<><><><><><>

Jaehyun showed me exactly how he managed to pin me down so fast. When I came running towards him, he applied a heavy pressure to the top of my chest, thus using my own force against me. He explained that by stalling my upper half, I actually did half of the work for him in knocking me down. Because I had charged so fast, my legs barely had any time to catch up as my upper half was held in place, so they continued to run, flipping me onto my back.  

Once I understood where exactly I went wrong, Jaehyun spent the first half of our session showing me different ways to keep myself guarded against an attack so that I could, in his words, “not be used as a weapon against myself.” The second half of the session was spent showing me examples of ways I could use someone’s force against themselves as he did had done to me. This part was my favorite because Jaehyun let himself fall to the mat every time I followed his instruction in order to show me exactly how the move would work. Even though I knew he was letting me take him down for practice’s sake, I still enjoyed hearing the loud smack it made when his body came in contact with the mat.  

When we finished, he tossed me my water bottle. I quickly down the remainder of its contents.  

“Here, toss it back,” Jaehyun called out, his hand outstretched.  

I did as he instructed.  

He began walking away motioning for me to follow.  

Once we made it to the water fountain, Jaehyun opened my bottle and filled it, tossing it back to me before taking his turn to drink directly from the fountain.  

I stood there watching him, unsure of what else I could do.  

Once he finished, he turned to me.  

“How’s your rib feeling?”  

“My rib?”  

I looked down at my torso having remembered where Taeyong had touched it. The pain, which was sharp and sudden at the time, had now turned into a dull constant.  

“It’s alright, I guess. Better at least.” I informed him.

Jaehyun looked at me, navigating whether or not I was lying.

“Good, that’s good. I was worried that after yesterday I might have made it worse.”  

It was strange. I knew that he was the one who broke it in the first place, but that didn’t keep me from seeing his sincerity.  

“I’ll try my best to avoid damaging it any further during our match. I’m sorry that’s all I can do for you given the circumstances of our bet.”

I knew that his statement was bullshit. I mean, he knew about my rib when he decided upon the terms of our bet. I knew that fighting him on the matter would be pointless though.  

“Will it go back to the way it was before it was broken?” I asked.  

Jaehyun seemed caught off guard by the sudden question.  

He took a second to think.  

“Are you trying to ask if it will heal properly, or if it’ll go back to the way it was before it was broken?”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” I asked.

Jaehyun gave me a look that seemed to question if I really didn’t know already.

I quirked my head to the side showing him that, no, I really didn’t know.

“When a bone breaks, it's because the bone’s developed a fracture.”

“Okay?” I scoffed, asking if he was really trying to explain what a broken bone was to me.  

“Just, listen,” He continued.

“During the healing process, a callous of extra strong bone forms around the fracture, bonding it together again. This new extra strong bone is meant to protect the fracture as the bone heals but once the bone is fully healed, the area of the fracture is stronger than it was before the break ever occurred so-”

“So, bones heal stronger?” I interrupted.

Jaehyun smiled gently towards me and took a step closer.  

“Y/N, I can’t tell you that your rib will go back to the way it was before, because that wouldn’t be the truth. What I can tell you though, is that maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”

Jaehyun reached a hand out towards me. Before I could think about it, I jerked away from his touch.  

Jaehyun hesitated before reeling his hand back. He looked away from me for a second before returning his gaze to mine.

“We should probably start today’s match so that you have enough time to get ready.“

<><><><><><>

Just like the day before, Taeyong blew the whistle and shortly after, I was pinned to the ground. This time I didn’t charge at him, instead I chose to go on the defense. It didn’t take long for Jaehyun to make his move, pinning me instantly. Luckily for me, I didn’t suffer any pain, just frustration. It was like Jaehyun had just picked me up and set me down, easily managing to hold me there until Taeyong called the match.  

I wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still disappointed. The Jaehyun’s newly discovered tenderness from before the match had disappeared, immediately replaced with his usual dirtbag self. Not more than a second after the match had ended, he instructed Taeyong to escort me back to my room to catch me up on today’s plans. Before he left the room, he turned back towards me as I just gotten back on my feet and said, “Don’t be late now, Honey.”

I scoffed at him. He laughed at my reaction which made me want to do a lot more than just scoff at him. I was caught off guard by his sudden usage of the pet name I had called him at dinner the night before. It became clear to me that that’s why he used it instead of opting for “Kitten,” like I had come to expect from him. When spoken by him, the word felt less like a term of endearment and more like a taunt, though a taunt was still better than a threat.  

“At least he’s in a good mood,” I thought to myself.  

Taeyong brought me back to my room, instructing me to shower and put on the dress he left for me on the bed. Once I did as I was asked, I opened the door to let Taeyong back in only to see that both Haechan and Jaemin had been waiting there with him.  

“Jaemin? What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Wow, Y/n. You aren’t gonna ask why I’m here?” Haechan pouted over-dramatically.

“I already know why you’re here, Dongfuck. You don’t have a life and so you like to drop in on mine,” I quipped lightheartedly, suddenly realizing that I had to come up with a new nickname for Haechan now that I’d discovered that his name was, well... Haechan.

Fuck, what insult even rhymes with Haechan? Faketan? No that’s stupid and probably problematic. Besides, Haechan’s darker skin tone is literal perfection. Even I have to admit that.

I physically shook my head before going on.  

“I’m asking why Jaemin’s here because he normally takes care of Jisung and Chenle around this time of day.”

I turned to Jaemin who simply laughed as Haechan stuck his tongue out at me. 

“Wow, you really were close friends before this, weren’t you?” He commented.

“What do you mean were? Haechan demanded wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“Y/n and I are still as close as a pair of conjoined twins.”

“Please, never use that metaphor ever again.” I sighed already exhausted from the encounter.  

“Anyways, today you’re going to be officially meeting Chenle and Jisung as their soon to be sister-in law. Jaemin is here to make sure that it goes well,” Haechan explained, answering for Jaemin before the poor man even had the chance to open his mouth.  

“Wait, what?”

Instead of explaining further, Haechan guided me towards the vanity, sitting me down in the chair, and immediately going to work on my hair.  

Taeyong and Jaemin both sat on the bed and got to explaining the situation.  

“So, as you already know, Jaehyun has two younger brothers, Chenle and Jisung. I believe that you’ve already met them before, but as a hostage, not as their sister-in-law.  

My mind flashed back to meeting the two younger boys back when I still had horrible bruising all over my face. I recalled the image of a queasy Chenle, asking if his brother really was the one who did that to me.

“I can’t tell them the same story, I told Jessi. They already know that Jaehyun was the one who nearly beat me within an inch of my life!”  

Taeyong and Jaemin looked at each other, obviously aware of something I was not. Haechan on the other hand, continued to act like a dumbass.  

“Ooh! Already on a first name basis with the former lady of the house, are we? So, I take it you’ve successfully gained Jessi’s approval, not that I’m surprised. Personality wise, it’d easier to believe she was your mother than Jaehyun’s. I mean-”  

“We’ve already taken that into consideration,” Taeyong began, cutting Haechan off right in the middle of his rant.

“Fine, I guess I’ll just leave since I’m just gonna be a nuisance,” Haechan pouted.  

When no one acknowledged him, he scoffed in annoyance, but stayed quiet.  

“You see, the boys actually know a lot more than just that,” He continued, glancing at a now sheepish Jaemin.  

“The boys have a habit of eavesdropping and while they were supposed to be in my care... I accidentally fell asleep and they listened in on one of the group’s official meetings.” Jaemin admitted.  

“At the time, you were still under suspicion for IU’s death.” Taeyong explained.  

A look of horror took over my face, causing one to come over Taeyong as well.

“D-don’t worry! Everything has been cleared up. They know that you are not responsible for the death of their sister. They have also been informed that you are responsible for the death of Lucas. They know that you killed him on accident in an attempt to fight for your life, though out of respect for you I didn’t going to any other details of what you went through that night.” He said in an attempt to reassure me.

“Wait, but if they know the truth then what about-”

“Mrs. Ho? She is to remain in the dark about the true nature behind Jaehyun’s and your relationship. They understand the gravity of the situation and have been instructed to speak as little as possible about anything that might rouse suspicion. Jaehyun and I have also decided that it would be best to pretend as though you’ve become something of an older sister to the two of them, but that this is the first they are hearing about your engagement. That’s why Jaemin is here, to help you learn as much as you can about the boys to make this ruse as believable as possible.”

“What the fuck?” I exclaimed, dumbfounded as to how on earth Jaehyun and Taeyong could have decided that this was the best route to take. Having me pretend to know about and be extremely close to a pair of teenagers that I met once and talked with for all of like, what? Five minutes?    

“I know it sounds daunting, but Chenle’s been feeling a bit under the weather lately and Mrs. Ho is aware of that, which gives us an out if anything goes wrong. We even have a signal in case Chenle should need to bring up his condition as an excuse to cut the meeting short.”

“Still though,” I hesitated, not fully convinced.  

“Listen,” Jaemin interjected.  

“You don’t have to act like a big happy family, giving them hugs and stuff. If anything, that would make Mrs. Ho really suspicious. Just act like how you would any other teenager. Act snarky, roast them, I don’t know. There are more ways to show closeness than acting like you're in a lifetime Christmas special. Besides, it makes sense for you to not know everything about them since Mrs. Ho still believes that you and Jaehyun met only a few months ago. We just have to get you knowledgeable enough for Mrs. Ho to-”

“Knock! Knock!” Someone called from outside the door.  

“Why say ‘knock?’ Why not just do it if you’re gonna say what you’re doing?” Haechan groaned, almost unreasonably annoyed by the knock knock-er’s chipper demeanor.  

Taeyong scowled at Haechan before walking toward the door.  

“Who is that?” I asked.  

“That should be Momo with the boys,” Jaemin answered.  

“Wait, what? Why are they here? I’m not ready.”

“It’ll be fine. Think of this as a practice round. You’ll do great!” Jaemin gave me two thumbs up as Taeyong opened the door.  

I definitely was not ready and by the looks of it, neither were they.  

Momo and Taeyong stood by the door as Jaemin motioned for Jisung and Chenle to come over.  

It hadn’t been more than a couple days since I had last seen the two of them yet I wouldn’t have recognized the yellow haired boy had I not been expecting to see him. While Jisung looked almost exactly the same as the day we met, Chenle looked as though he were the one who had been locked up in the estate’s basement, not me. The dark spots that lay wrapped below his eyes took up more space on the young boy’s face than the eyes themselves. The state of his cheeks made it obvious that what he lacked in sleep, he definitely wasn’t making up for in calories. The chubby cheeks I had remembered were long gone, now sunken in to the extent one might mistake the boy for a character in a Tim Burton movie. He looked less like a teenaged boy and more like an old man, hair loss and all.  

To describe him as a bit under the weather as Taeyong had only moments prior would be like saying that Hitler was kind of a douche; not necessarily untrue, but definitely not the most accurate way of portraying the severity of things. Chenle looked sickly, though I couldn’t think of any sickness with symptoms so... apparent.  

Neither him nor Jisung looked particularly excited to see me, which is of course understandable since to them, I’m practically that one distant relative who your parents made you hug as a kid despite your apparent discomfort. Though, while Jisung just looked awkward and unsure of where he should focus his eyes, Chenle looked at me as though I were the cause of his illness.  

It looked as though simply being near me was physically painful for him. I kept his gaze, trying to uncover the cause of his extreme discomfort towards me. It was strange. There was no hatred in his eyes, something I should have been relieved by given that we were going to have to act all buddy-buddy with each other, but I couldn’t help but wonder why he was looking at me like a child who’s about to be told on to his parents.  

“I thought we could start with you guys telling Y/n your interests. Does that sound good?” said Jaemin.

The two took turns telling me about which video games were their favorites and about what sports they played at school. It was awkward at first, especially since it felt like the first day of school and our teacher decided to make everyone takes turns introducing themselves and saying three things about themselves, something which teachers don’t understand is actually torture in its purest form.

Though I was lost as fuck when Jisung tried to explain this game called Amoungus to me, Jaemin interjected to ask the two of them what their favorite show was. That was when things started to look a bit brighter.  

“Well, right now, me and Chenle are watching this show called HunterXHunter.”

“HunterXHunter?” I asked, suddenly more serious than was necessary.  

“Uh, yeah. Have you heard of it?” Jisung asked, confused.  

“Which one? The 1999 one or the 2011 one?”  

Both of the two boys lit up a bit.  

“Wait, there’s a 1999 version?” Chenle asked, this being the first time he spoke without being needing to be nudged first by his brother.

“Uh, yeah. And get this, it’s better. Don’t get me wrong, the newer one is great. I love the art style, but the 1999 verion includes more from the manga that the 2011 version completely leaves out.”

“You read manga?” Chenle asked, excitedly, and for a split second, he resembled the boy I met before, still strung out, but not as much so.  

“No, I just read an article comparing the manga to the show- Of course I fucking read manga,” I replied, probably laying the sarcasm on a little too thick.  

I paused as the two boys looked at each other and nodded.  

“Do you like shoujo or shonen better?” Jisung asked, though it sounded more like a demand.  

“I won’t lie, I like shoujo a lot. Don’t roast me though I like both. It depends on my mood. Sometimes I wanna read a high-stakes power fantasy battle palooza with fucking lasers, and other times, I just wanna read about a high-schooler asking out his crush.”

“I get that,” Jisung nodded.

“Yeah, that’s because you get all your dating advice from playing dating sims,” Chenle snorted.

Jisung glared at Chenle and raised his hand, but quickly lowered it as though reconsidering hitting him when the older is in such a weak state.  

The four of us started laughing only to be interrupted by a concerned voice.  

“Mrs. Ho, what are you doing here?” Taeyong stuttered.

Momo quickly bowed to her, prompting Jaemin to stand up and do the same.

“Is it strange for me to be walking around my own house?” Jessi asked eyeballing Taeyong.

“No, of course not ma’am. It’s just that I was expecting for us all to meet at the dining room table later today like what was planned.”  

“I too thought that that was to be the case, but when I heard my son’s laughter from Y/n’s room, I figured I’d stop by.”

Jessi walked further into the room. Everyone did their best to hide any signs of the shock, nervousness, or stress they were feeling, though nobody did a good job.  

I let out a soft laugh. To think that I was going to have to rely on them, they’re the ones who’ll be depending on me to make this go smoothly.  

“Jessi! What’s up?”

Jessi wipes the back of her hand over her forehead as if wiping off an imaginary bead of sweat. ��

“Whew. Thank god. I thought you were gonna be all formal with me again just because there were others around.” She laughed, taking a seat on the vanity table  

“You know, this might actually be better having a formal meeting anyway,” Jessi said, switching to Korean for the rest of the room’s inhabitants.  

“Oh, uh... sure. Why not?” Taeyong replied.

Jessi stared at him silently, making Taeyong even more nervous.  

“Well?” She asked.

Taeyong hesitated, unsure of what to do.  

“Yes?”

“Go get him.”

“Pardon?”

“Jaehyun. Go get Jaehyun. He should be here for this shouldn’t he?”  

“Ah. Yes. Of course. Right away.”  

Taeyong gave me a look as if to ask if I’d be okay while he was away. I gave him a little nod and made a “shoo” motion in response.  

Both him and Momo disappeared, her bowing once again before making her exit.

Luckily, the moments that were filled with Taeyong’s absence had been taken up by the exchange of simple pleasantries. I asked Jessi how she slept, she told me she slept well. She asked me the same, I replied the same. Then she turned to Jaemin to ask whether Chenle had taken his medicine yet, to which he responded with a simple, yes.  

Taeyong returned as quickly as he came which was surprising given how Jaehyun must have been busy with other matters given the meeting’s spontaneity of the meeting.  

He entered the room following Taeyong and stopping to rest his hands on my shoulders as he stood behind my sitting place. I had expected him to do something physical since his mother was here, so I was able to mentally prepare myself and refrain from flinching away from his touch.

The meeting was short, with Jaehyun announcing that he and I were getting married. Jisung and Chenle reacted with surprise and then faux excitement. I hadn’t needed to do much except for sit there, which was a relief. Jaemin and the kids were the first to leave, with Jaemin announcing that it was time for them to work on their homework. Taeyong escorted Jessi back to her room leaving Jaehyun and I to be the only ones left.  

“Good job.” Jaehyun said, now having sat directly in front of me on the bed.  

I nodded trying my best to hide my anxiety.  

“Tomorrow I’ve arranged to have several dresses sent to the estate for you to try on. You may pick whichever one you like. My mother will be there to aid you.”

“Dresses?”  

Jaehyun laughed at my reaction.  

Jaehyun set his hands onto the bed and leaned back slightly.  

“I do believe that it is tradition for the bride to wear a dress on her wedding day,” He mused.  

“Oh.” I muttered.

Jaehyun stared back at me with a relaxed smile.  

I took the time to get a good look at Jaehyun, something I hadn’t thought to do during the meeting. He wore a simple white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up past his forearms. I remembered walking in to find him sitting on the weight machine only a few hours earlier. It made sense that he worked out given his build. Body types like that don’t just happen naturally. Even his hands were muscular.  

I felt conflicted. If I had seen this man on the street a month ago, I probably wouldn’t hesitate to imagine those arms wrapped around me, or maybe even his hands digging into my hips, but after what I had experienced, all I could think about was the feeling of losing consciousness as their grip tightened around my throat.  

I did my best to be subtle as I looked down at his thighs. I wasn’t surprised to see that the light grey slacks did little to hide that they, like his arms, were... large.  

We sat in silence just staring at each other until Jaehyun stood up from the bed, now at least 3 heads taller than my sitting form.  

He leaned forward resting his hands on the armrests of my chair. Trapping me.  

I froze.  

“It’ll probably take the entire afternoon to finish all the work I have left, so I likely won’t be joining you all for dinner.”

And with that, he left.  

<><><><><>

Jaehyun was right. He wasn’t be able to attend dinner. I wasn’t surprised by his absence; It was everyone else’s absence I was surprised by. Not a single member of 127 nor Jaemin or Jeno attended dinner that night, leaving Jessi, Jisung, Chenle, and I to awkwardly sit around theorizing about what business they had that kept them away.  

<><><><><>

Jaehyun could feel his blood boil as Taeyong and Jeno made him aware the sudden turn of events.

“And you’re sure the messenger was unaware of the message’s contents?” He asked the two men.  

“We’re sure,” Taeyong answered.

“Since we don’t usually receive deliveries directly to the house without being made aware of them in advance, I took every precaution in questioning the man myself,” added Jeno.  

“His story checked out. We quickly confirmed that he was a registered courier at a local delivery service within the district. I opened the letter in front of him and once I realized its contents, I demanded all information regarding the letter’s origin. After informing Taeyong, we sent over several men over to inspect their security footage, but it seems that the letter was actually delivered to them via a different delivery service. We have men over there as well checking their footage and all, but it seems as though they managed to send the letter through a system I’ve never seen before. The letter was put into several other envelopes, each one containing instructions and payment for the next delivery. Since each company only opened the outer envelope, we were unable to see any past instruction that may had been included before the letter reached each individual company.”

“How long will it take to trace the source of the letter?” Jaehyun inquired.

“We don’t know. It depends on how many companies they went through. We won’t be able to locate the original sender, especially if their trail is long gone by the time we reveal any trace of their identity. We might not even be able to discern how long the letter has been in transport for quite some time. Our best guess is that it’s only been in transport for 1 to 2 days.” Taeyong sighed, showing his frustration at the situation.  

Jaehyun dragged his hands down his face, his good mood now a distant memory.  

“Two days, huh?” He pondered, staring down at the piece of paper he held in his hands.  

If you fail to hand Y/N over to us, then prepare for a red wedding.  

“Call everyone up here, now.“

Jaehyun watched silently as his office began to slowly fill with the members of 127.

Taeyong and Jeno made sure to inform them all of the gravity of the meeting thus ensuring that none of the members were to speak until Jaehyun officially started the meeting.  

“Where is he?” Jaehyun demanded.

Everyone began exchanging glances, not yet sure of who exactly it was that Jaehyun was referring to.    

“We’re here,” Taeyong announced as both he and Winwin entered the room.  

“And where exactly were you?” Jaehyun asked, making it obvious that his question was directed more at Winwin than the both of them.

“He was in the library, reading,” Taeyong answered for him.  

“If he was that close, then why was he the last to be found?”  

Winwin approached Jaehyun. He reached his hand into his pants pocket, retrieving a pair of earbuds before placing them on the oak desk.  

“I had them in, so I couldn’t hear my name when it was being called,” Winwin smirked, staring straight into the eyes of the man sitting in front of him.  

Jaehyun scowled.  

“You know, Winwin. Ever since I relieved Johnny of his duty to keep an eye on you, I often spent my time wondering where you were and what you could be off doing.”

“Well, isn’t that sweet?” Winwin commented, his tone filled with mockery.  

Instead of getting angry, Jaehyun smiled, catching everyone, including Winwin off guard.  

“As it turns out, my musing was pointless,” Jaehyun explained, as he placed the letter on the desk, directly on top of Winwin’s earbuds.  

Winwin read the letter without needing to touch it or lean closer to it.  

He frowned but said nothing.  

Jaehyun continued.  

“I don’t have to ask myself where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing because I already know.”

Winwin already knew what was coming.  

“You’ve been telling Wayv our secrets.”

The meeting went as one would expect. Jaehyun showed the letter to the remaining members, had Taeyong and Jeno go over what they had gone over earlier with him, and then Jaehyun posed the very important question, “How come only days after Johnny stopped watching over you, we receive a letter from Wayv confirming that they found out about the wedding?”

“We don’t know that for sure,” Yuta interjected.  

Everyone looked up at him expectantly. Yuta froze, as though he came to Winwin’s defense without having even thought of what he was going to say.  

Before Jaehyun could move on, Taeil began to speak.  

“Wait, he’s right. Didn’t Taeyong and Jeno say that we have no way of knowing for sure how long the letter has been in transit? It’s possible that the letter has been in transit since before Johnny stopped keeping watch over Winwin.”  

“Yeah,” Yuta exclaimed, having regained his momentum.  

“And besides, wouldn’t Winwin have known that updating Wayv this soon after regaining his freedom would put him under suspicion?”

Jaehyun paused.  

“Perhaps, but that doesn’t out rule the likelihood that Winwin’s loyalty is with Wayv. It’s highly probable that he prioritized his mission to leak information over his own safety.”

“No, that’s not necessarily true. If that were the case, then why would Wayv have sent such a message? If they knew that the wedding going to be announced in five days anyway, then why would they put Winwin under suspicion? Wouldn’t they want us to trust Winwin so he could leak information more easily?” Taeil pressed on.

Jaehyun, Taeil, and Yuta continued arguing with each other as Winwin and the others watched in silence.

“I’ve made my decision,” Jaehyun announced.  

“Winwin will be removed from any NCT related activity until further notice and will be placed back under heavy watch.”

“Will I be the one to watch over him again?” Johnny asked.

“No,” Jaehyun answered.  

“This time, Taeil will be the one to watch over Winwin.”

“But sir, I thought you said you didn’t want me to watch over him given our close relationship.”  

“I am aware of that Taeil, but given how eager you are to prove Winwin’s innocence, perhaps that will motivate you in making sure that nothing gets past you. If Winwin were to fall under suspicion again, just know that you’ll be the one to we turn to in confirming his innocence. I also doubt that if Winwin were to display suspicious behavior that you would try to cover up for him.”  

Jaehyun looked at Winwin.

“Today cameras will be set up in your room. You are not to leave your room without Taeil there to escort you. You will not be permitted to use any electronic devices without Taeil either. As for the rest of you,”

Jaehyun looked around the room.  

“From this moment on, no one is permitted to speak to Winwin regarding anything NCT related.”

[caffeinated-moonchild]

folie à deux [kim namjoon]

writer: michiko

genre: criminal au, smut, angst

characters: kim namjoon, veronika [original female character]

synopsis: namjoon and veronika are on the run but they were confident enough that they can pull it off. besides, they vow that no one can ever take them alive.

WARNING: MAY CONTAIN EXPLICIT DEPICTION OF VIOLENCE, SEX, PROFANITY, AND MENTAL ISSUES.

story:

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑚𝑒

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀𝑆𝐸𝑇 𝐼𝑇 𝑂𝐹𝐹

⠀⠀1:01  ───●────── 3:31

⠀ ⠀⠀|◁                II         ▷|

A sliver of the late morning sunlight peeked through the small gap of the cheap polyester curtain, a gentle glow against their bare skin that remained exposed amidst a mess of blanket and tangled limbs. The air was still thick and heavy with sex, the walls still carried the imprint of sweat-soaked skin, and the floor was covered with the scattered pieces of fabric that belonged to the two bodies wrapped around each other.

Pale fingers traced circles on the side of his arm, making swirls and lines opposed to the ink on his skin as if writing a story that only he holds. A hum escaped his thick lips as his eyes slowly fluttered open, dark ones making its way to meet a pair of blue hues. "Good morning, babe." His voice was husky, almost smoky. It was a more than familiar tone that he  uses, at times, unintentionally.

Her mind was still clouded from the previous day’s crime and the night’s heat, and there was a late morning craving for honey-dripped kisses and lust-drenched skin.

Soft plump lips pressed against his tan skin, whispering sins and delusions on the base of his neck. Strong hands wandered the curve of her waist down to her hips, pulling her closer. Hooking a leg along his waist made her more vulnerable, especially when his hand gently glided on the curve of her hips before reaching from behind, parting the thin laced fabric, two digits rubbing between her legs.

Soft moans made its way past her rosy lips, singing against his skin as she planted gentle kisses along his collarbone, where a wild rose tattoo was etched on, nipping on the skin to leave a couple of marks next to the ones she made the night before. Gentle mewls against his skin as his fingers grew more sensual against her heated core. The corner of his lips tugged up to a proud smirk as he elicited the sounds that he adored. And he knew all too well that the low groan followed by a bite on his shoulder meant how impatient she was getting.

Her slender leg swung over to straddle him as a certain blue flame danced in her own blue eyes. "Didn’t you get enough last night, babe?" he asked, voice husky as his hands sensually rubbed her bare thighs. "Don’t you want to—" He groaned as he was cut off by a spark of friction between their clothed sex, his hands gripping on her waist, pressing her harder against him.

The louder the sound, the more the flames in between their legs grew. Her impatience extended to him as they both rid their bodies of the remaining piece of cloth, her eager hand guided his shaft as she sheathed his entire length in her velvet walls.

His hands molded her waist as he controlled their pace, growling as he felt himself being clenched by her walls which only made him go a bit rougher. With her head thrown back, blonde curls like golden waterfalls, ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑡𝑜 𝐺 as she sang the song 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑚𝑎𝑗𝑜𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑜𝑟, 𝐶 𝑡𝑜 𝐷.

Lost in the feeling of both passion and pleasure, they had complete disregard when it came to the time and how they were supposed to check out at exactly noon, but the loud knock on the door was sure to remind them. And yet instead of answering it, they only let their voice grow louder.

"We should—" She tried to suggest in between the string of moans and whimpers that begged to be sung but it only fueled him, driving her insane and pushing her over the edge. As much as she knew that they were on the run and had to get on their feet, she needed the flame even more.

A smug smirk was stretched across his lips, aware that his movements caused her to become a mess of moans and whimpers, unable to finish a sentence that she intended to stop him.

The knocks grew louder just as their mixed voices filled the room with the lewd sounds of pleasure, pleading, and wanting more as if they were in a world where there were no one else but them. And maybe that was why they were such a perfect match—they had a lack of care towards the people around them, only having regards for themselves.

The sound of keys jingling, as the housekeeper attempted to open the shabby door, was drowned by the profanity that they did not hear it creak open. A gasp cut through the sexual noises, but not even the presence of the housekeeper and a guard did not stop the two as they were nearing their peaks.

Her body was leaning forward, hands on his chest as her nails dug through his skin as she felt the familiar coil in her stomach. Her walls were clenching around his entire length, squeezing him tighter which made him groan and thrust harder, shoving her to her peak. A proud smirk was plastered on his face as he watched her come undone before gripping her waist tighter as he pulled her down, plunging deeper into her as he released every drop into her velvet walls.

Sweat-drenched skin against each other and chests heaved as they tried to catch their breaths, her burner phone rang as more than two pairs of eyes followed the sound of the generic ringtone that filled the room.

"Ma’am and sir, you’re past the check-out time," the housekeeper said, her thick Southern accent making it sound a bit more friendly than intimidating. But instead of answering, Veronika pulled herself up which made their liquids drip down her inner thighs. She crawled to the edge of the bed as she reached for the phone on the nightstand to answer the call.

Her plump lips were pressed into a straight line as she listened to the voice from the other end of the line. Her soft features soon grew firm as her gaze turned sharp and shot him an alarmed look which made him sit up almost immediately. The tension was brewing thick, even unable to be cut through by the constant call of the housekeeper and guard who had their back against the two now.  

The call coming to an abrupt end, the blonde huffed. "What is it? Who was that?" The blond guy asked, his deep voice etched with a hint of worry. The previous day’s events played through their minds, reminding themselves of the euphoric taste of their crime.

The blonde girl glanced at the two strangers who were still asking them to start packing up. She leaned in a bit closer to the guy in order to whisper, "The authorities are looking for us. We’re all over the news."

"Then we really do have to go now," he firmly said as he slipped out of the bed as he dressed up as he collected his clothes that were scattered all over the floor. His gaze followed the girl who was searching the entire area for her clothes. "I got your jacket." He threw it across the bed which she caught perfectly.

Without another word, they walked out of the room being followed by the guard. Their movements were careful and calculated as they headed back to the lobby to check out. It was as if it was just any other day, as if their faces were not plastered on paper and flashed in news on television. They flashed the reception smiles that mock how clueless they were that they accommodated a couple of cutthroats, without giving it a second thought—despite the questionable stains on their clothes and disheveled hair.

Parading down the street, they knew they were treading on tightrope, hanging onto their remaining wits and luck. Despite wanting to hang their heads low and not draw any attention, their blonde hair glowed in the midst of shambles with a façade of perfection and innocence.

They knew which item on their list had been checked out and what else had to be executed, and at that point, their clock was ticking faster than they wanted and needed it to be. They still had two things to do, a hit-and-run kind of task that needed a level of poise to handle, something Veronika was confident that she could execute. But even if she denied it, she could feel her nerves tremble under the pressure brought by the time and the act itself.

Upon arrival at the antique shop, Veronika’s blue eyes scanned the area as she tried to come up with a faster yet still compelling angle to work on in order to get the owner to step out of the counter long enough for Namjoon to take the money so they can finally fly to a different city and start over, as they try to put it nicely.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of an artwork which seemed some kind of macabre portrayal of Romeo and Juliet. Despite Juliet’s dead body floating on her own pool of blood and Romeo’s pale corpse laying next to her with the empty vial of poison still in hand, there was something about it that appealed to the blonde girl.

"I haven’t seen this before," she sweetly said, still admiring the artwork that was hung around the opposite corner of the counter. "I bet a lot of people tried to buy this masterpiece."

The owner was an old man and he seemed alone. His eyes were filled with years of stories that are probably going to be left untold. "I wish I can say you’re right but no one really wants to hang such gruesome artwork in their own home." He took a careful step as he glanced at the empty shop, thinking it would not hurt to step out of his post and attend to a customer.

"Maybe it is a little weird but it has a certain charm, don’t you think?" She smiled sweetly, almost innocently, but something still felt off.

The old man chuckled, standing next to the blonde girl. "If there is, you’re the first one to notice it." He reached for the painting’s frame, grazing her fingers delicate as if he was careful not to break it. "It was brought here along with a few more things. I haven’t seen anything like it. Romeo and Juliet are often painted as alive and in love, but rarely about how they died. Truly heartbreaking."

At the corner of Veronika’s eyes, she saw Namjoon starting to make his move so she tried to prolong the conversation. And for a while, she was able to keep it up but when the owner looked at the counter’s direction, he slid his hand in his pocket only to pull out what looked like a button and pressed it. ❝I’ve dealt with you hoodlums for so long, you’re not getting away with this,❞ he shouted before running outside of the shop. The old man who seemed feeble had enough energy to get away.

"Hurry!" The blonde girl groaned, brushing trembling fingers through her hair. "I’m not going back to fucking jail, Namjoon!"

He was getting frustrated as he zipped up the bag filled with both money and a few more valuables that he found along the shelves. "Do you really think I want to go back there, too, Vee? Not a chance."

The two of them headed out, running for their lives, knowing that the clock is ticking and it was just a matter of time until they were caught.

"Over my dead body," Veronika said through gritted teeth.

Five feet away from a car that could free them, the sound of the siren flooded their surroundings as two shots rang, echoing in the open space. Veronika flinched, terrified of the sound when it does not come from a gun that she holds. She turned around only to see Namjoon on the ground, hand still tightly gripping on the duffel bag.

And she could have easily run away but her heart told her not to.

"Run," Namjoon croaked, blood filling the gap of his lips and yet no matter the warning, she was not going anywhere. If she was not going to be with Namjoon, she had no plans of ever escaping the situation.

Through blurred vision, he could see her petite figure running towards him. And though he wished that the last image that he would have of her was her blonde hair dancing with the wind as she called his name, he was not granted that. Just as the lights started to dim, another set of two shots cut through the sound of the siren.

"Namjoon..." she whispered, voice fading towards the end of his name. Just a couple of feet away, Veronika crawled until she was able to reach for his hand.

Their bodies were sprawled across the concrete, flashes of blue and red glowing against their skin. It was overcast as if the sky empathized with the lovers who tried to hold on to dear life, mouthing their vows to each other as crimson added color to the grey. Her blue eyes looked at his dark ones, a faint smile painted on their lips that held an unspoken promise.

❝They’ll never take us alive.❞

***

Upon further investigation, Veronika and Namjoon had been connected to more than fifteen bodies and a dozen robberies. It was intricate, a twisted and illegal work of art that served as their legacy.

If it was not for the mediocre attempt, then they could have gotten out alive.

[pffbts]

(header by me)

―GENRE: fluff; angst.

―CHARACTERS: kim taehyung x female reader | special appearance: tannie.

―W.C: 1.8K

―AUTHOR`S NOTE: i`ve stopped writing for a long time (around 3 months), especially when it comes to longer pieces like this but it is the birthday of the love of my life. i couldn`t miss this opportunity to write something special for him even though i`m still busy with my college. i hope you who`ll be reading this, be happy and enjoy this little piece of my attempt at making a present for my love. a very happy new year to you guys and a very happy 24th to my winter bear, my love, my only one.  

[00:01 AM] [the coolness still lurks even though warm beings surround someone calling it a new beginning]

―with the most curious and detective-like eyes, tannie stared at your face even though you were just lying there, on the wooden floor right beside the small fireplace taehyung has lit just for you. your eyes remained close but your instinct could catch the spark of curiosity shooting from the pet`s eyes.

you raise your arm in the air and with slight guess here and there find the furry head of tannie. digging your fingers right through his fur, you pamper him. tannie seemed to enjoy this because you have always been the type to caress his head as if he`s a human child and not just a dog.

“hmm, someone`s taking my spot.” taehyung`s deep voice booms through the room and a smile gives birth to itself on your mouth before you open your previously closed eyes. you lift up your head a little to find your best friend placing two red cups of cola and two big bowls of chips on the table in front of the couch a little far away from the fireplace. you were technically lying down in a place in-between the table and the fireplace with tannie now moving closer to your face and on his feet to attack you with his love licks.

“hmmm, someone`s jealous.” you bicker back, now holding tannie with both hands and rubbing his little nose with yours. “but i love my tannie the most, right?” you ask the doggo and he proceeds to move his face closer to your neck and just buries himself. maybe he got a little shy, you thought.

“of course, i`m jealous. i`m an honest person, you see.” taehyung says.

the exact word is blunt, too blunt, you corrected him in your head.

“what about the pizza?” you ask diverting his sudden confession.

“oh i`m heating it up right now,” taehyung points at the kitchen behind him while he now stands behind the couch. the walls of his house is too thick for your ears to hear the sound of the microvan being on, “by the way, are you planning to stay in? i can fix some blankets for you. it`s gotten quite cold these days―”

“nah i`m leaving after 10.” you stop him mid-sentence and answer him back with a curt voice.

taehyung`s previously lit up face lost its glow and he replied with just an “oh.”

“yeah, i feel really tired. i just came to meet you because i was in the town and you,” pointing your forefinger at your friend, you continued, “are never at home, dude. you`re like always out and about doing your own stuff.”

taehyung raises both of his hands above his head and accepts the defeat, “sorry, but my schedules been too tight these days. i can`t help it,” mid-words, he moves back into the kitchen to bring in the now heated pizza and places it quickly on the table, “because my boss will think i`m being lazy cause it`s winter now.”

you shift from your place on the floor. tannie proceeds to make himself at home on your lap but you shake your head at him and pick him up in your arms and move back to the other end of the couch while taehyung places himself on the opposite end of it.

“you know how i get lazy during winter, right?”

“yeah.” you hum back acting over-bored.

“what`s up with you? are you feeling okay?” taehyung leans a little closer and tries to probably decipher what`s going on in you, “oh wait, do you need a blanket? shoot! i should`ve brought a blanket―”

“taehyung, stop! i`m okay,” you laugh at him, “i`m wearing socks and tannie is here to warm me up.” you move your face closer to tannie`s face who is currently lying on your lap, “right tannie?”

you only get a woof for a reply whereas taehyung moves back to his place and bites onto a chip.

taehyung moved his eyes above to check the time and it read 10:15 PM. the human beside him has already made herself at home along with the dog who actually belongs to the same home.

“wasn`t she planning to go by 10?” taehyung wondered. “guess, she felt too tired and just fell asleep unconsciously.”

taehyung proceeded to move all the empty bowls from the table now, along with the cups and the empty pizza box. he cleaned the place around the couch a bit and brought in the warmest spare blanket he could find from his closet and covered you with it. the dog is currently on the carpeted floor, snoring softly along with you.

as he placed the blanket down your chin, taehyung`s eyes shifted onto your face. he was suddenly filled with an unknown warmth he couldn`t recall any time before this night. the calmness on your face, the way you slept with your mouth slightly open. taehyung giggled softly, his sound unheard. he moved the spare strand of your hair from your face and moved them over your forehead and poked the tip of your nose softly just to tease your unconscious self.

he could stay like this all night and nothing will change. in-between both of you there stands a big thin wall. some unrequited feelings and some unsaid words, taehyung sighed softly. right now everything that he did, every little gesture, every little action, everything came out into its mildest form. it was as if you`re the most sensitive thing in this world right at this moment. taehyung couldn`t differentiate if it was him who was being vulnerable right now or you.

he left the decision in fate`s hand. usually, he would be getting ready for his bed but he knows as 12`o clock hits, his phone is going to get flooded with texts from his parents, his siblings, his close friends and every associates. after all, it`s his birthday in a―on reflex, his head moves to look at the clock again―it`s almost 11:30 P.M now.

he sighs to himself and gets up from his crouched form beside the couch where you are currently sleeping peacefully.

he keeps only the dim light of the lamp beside the couch on while switching off all the others in the living room. taehyung moves into his room and walks a little faster to his bed, tiredness climbing onto him like a snake.

as his head hits his soft pillow, taehyung closes his eyes for a brief moment only to open them again and stare back at the dim ceiling now. he felt impatient and sad and also a bit disappointed with the fact that you must have forgotten his birthday. it wasn`t usual because since high school, you both have been away from each other a lot more times than ever. but you would always try to make it up to him by sending a text over the phone or like a late birthday gift along with the new year greetings in the mail.

obviously, when he saw you at his doorstep this afternoon with a big size pizza box and a large bottle of cola, he thought you must have come here to celebrate his birthday with him but sadly, you seemed distant today. he didn`t exactly blame you though because it`s sure been a long time since both of you been face to face with each other.

but he was still hoping for something. he was still hoping for that one moment to come while you both sat there eating your pizza that you would pull out a prank on him and wish him an early birthday. it even bothered him that you will probably regret sleeping in when you wake up next morning when you had initially decided to leave his house by 10 P.M.

heavy, undecided thoughts brought in tiredness that taehyung didn`t know he had inside him. further, this results in him dozing off in the dreamland not knowing what might happen next morning.

sure, it`s too cold these days. sure, he had a good blanket over his body but for some reason, he felt a lot warmer. no, not warm―hot, he was feeling extremely hot and especially around his shoulder region, to exactly point it out, the place right under his left ear.

accumulating with the hotness came a sudden heaviness, maybe it was the weight of the blanket that was making it uneasy for his chest to carry the heaviness―or wait, is tannie on top of him right now?

taehyung was about to open his eyes when he feels a human hand on top his right cheek―the hand was cold, small and soft.

“happy birthday, winter bear.”

taehyung`s eyes flew open in an instant and he finds half of your body dangling from the bed and half on top his chest, your nose against the side of his throat and your small giggles like lofi music in his ear.

maybe he was completely wrong again. maybe he keeps losing trust in you because of the fact that distance keeps coming in-between both of you and he just doesn`t know if you still see him as one of your good friends.

taehyung felt like crying as he moves his face towards his right only to catch that the digital clock read 00:01 AM. his face breaks into a smile as he ruffles the back of your head.

“you`re one minute late, beautiful.”

“stop flirting. let me sleep.” you mumble back, your voice still mingled with slumber. “oh and your gift is under your bed, it`s the tie you loved window shopping when we used to walk back home from school. i remembered the pattern, drew a rough sketch of it and sent it to the best store in my city so like i custom made it for you. wear it at my birthday, okay?” 

“you did what―”

your forefinger flies on top of his mouth and remains there pressed against the creases as you drift off to sleep while taehyung pulls your hand away from his smiling mouth only to place a kiss above the cold knuckles of your hand.

fin.

[kashimos-hajime]

i’ll be good

Summary: “I have to believe that even if something seems like it cannot be fixed, it doesn't mean it's broken.”

WARNINGS: really not that much for once, just a tiny bit of angst Pairing: Detective Loki x Reader Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: we’ve made it. i hope you enjoy the finale. now, it’ll be known what all of this has been for. all the tattoos (both yours and loki’s), the pain, the allusions, the title and a callback to the VERY BEGINNING! and who knows? maybe i’ll write more for our big jacket boy. for the proper vibes of this chapter (and the whole fic, really), i recommend listening to I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | ...

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“She’s been dead for three days, at the most”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“If I had to guess, and I don’t, it would’ve been the snake bite.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Snakes. Fucking snakes.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“It’s your fault!”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Look at me. Look at me! I fucking love you.”

Beep. Beep.

“You think love is enough?”

Beep. Beep.

“I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Beep.

“Neither do I.”

...

“We can’t let this happen again.”

Beep.

“This isn’t that case.”

...

Beep.

“Clear!”

.

Your chest burns, aches as a click, click, click echoes in your ears in time with every breath you take, and you groan. It’s dark outside — or are your eyes just closed — and you turn your head, squeezing your eyes shut with every clank of plastic. Your neck flares up, your muscles protesting against the movement as a soreness spreads up and down.

Your head, oh, god, your head. It’s like a stampede of wildebeest came to stomp all over you and then an elephant decided to toot its trunk into your ear at full blast. Your hand moves on its own accord, every muscle in your limb nothing more than putty as you try to move it towards your head.

Fuck...

You can’t move your hand. Your fingers twitch and a prickly sensation pokes at your palm. So you aren’t paralyzed, not anymore. You’re not numb, except for whatever’s probably cutting off your circulation. Okay.

Okay.

Something warm, hot, is pressed against your hand, wrapping around your digits and palm tightly. Wetness has gathered in the crease of your thumb, and you frown, sinking deeper into the softness surrounding your head.

You need to see. You need to focus on that despite the aching pains in your chest, the cracking agony in your skull.

Your eyelids peel back, and the soft light to your right makes you squeeze them shut again. Dry-eyed, you blink at the coldness before trying again. With wet eyes, you open your eyes and squint, trying to clear your throat. Something jostles in your throat and a cough erupts in your chest. Your other hand, untouched by the wet heat, reaches for your mouth and you let out a whine. Your throat shudders as nurses swarm your bed, telling you to calm down. The heat leaves your hand and you reach an arm weakly for the retreating heat, only for it to flop back down on the bed.

“Is she alright?” a voice barks, deep and rough over the croonings of the nurses stroking at your shoulder and working at the pain. They peel the tape securing the intubation tube to your mouth and slowly pull it out. You gasp, eyes squeezing shut and a nurse elevates your bed until you’re nearly sitting.

The nurses continue to work, monitoring your vitals or something and you feel something nudge at your lips. Turning your face away, you grunt. Your throat feels like it nearly rips and cool fingers touch your jaw.

“Try opening your eyes, miss. You’ve been out for a while. Here, water.”

Sipping greedily, you nearly cough at how slippery it is, how quickly it slips down your throat. Slowly opening your eyes, you let your head drop deep into the pillows. Someone curls your fingers over something hard, and you run a finger over what feels like buttons.

“This is your remote. This button to call a nurse, these to adjust the elevation of the bed.”

“Detective, you have to wait. She might not be fully lucid—” the nurse beside you begins and you turn your head slowly to the sound. Although your whole world is still a big blur of colours and lights and shadows, you know the shape of him from miles away. Lifting a weak hand, you squint at the IV line and oxygen clip on your finger. “She’s dehydrated, and malnourished. She needs rest, alright? Don’t strain her or we’ll be forced to remove you.”

“No, no, I won’t. Just… let me see her.”

“We’ll be right outside, miss,” the nurse whispers in your ear but you barely hear them as a warm, crushing thing clamps down on your hand. A rough thumb strokes away the wet on your skin. The other hand brushing hair away from your face as his chapped lips press against your forehead, you smile up at him. 

“L… David.” Your voice cracks and he presses his wet face against your palm as he sits down. The hot tears run over your skin, and you realize then that the sticky heat of your palm had been him. What else could it have been?

“I called 911 on the way, I… I didn’t know.” The feel of his muscles moving against your palm, just the heat of him, sends strength into your arm and your thumb rubs over his wet cheek. Wrapping weak fingers around his neck, you pull him closer and he lets out a soft sigh, leaning over the bed to press his cheek against yours. Stale coffee, bearglove deodarant, gum. Home floods your nose, and you nose at his cheek, lips brushing against the corner of his mouth. “They said it’d be touch and go — she fucking overdosed you with ketamine and they had to intubate, you were paralyzed — and they said I needed to get my bullet wound checked out, but I—”

“How’s Anna?” you ask, first on your very long list of things you need to ask him about. He sniffs, kissing your knuckles before setting your arm back down. Fatigue runs its way up your body, and, with your eyes at half-mast, you smile.

“Still in recovery.”

“And you got a GSW? I wasn’t hallucinating that?” You push him back so softly yet he pulls back instantly so you can look at him. Your hand cradles his face on its own accord, and you spot the bandage taped to his face that’s stained with new blood. Your fingers, brittle and weak, brush over his cheek. You let out a sharp, breathless laugh. His right eye is red with blood, and dark holes circle his eyes. You don’t know if it’s the drugs still left or just your frank gratitude that he’s still alive, but you merely admire the swell of his eyebags, the sunken quality of his eyes. “Did they say your CT was clear?”

“Still waitin’ on that, but I’m up and around. So long as the nurses can keep an eye on me.” He drags his chair closer and leans into the bed, elbows digging into the mattress. You smile tenderly as he presses your knuckles against his forehead, head dipped as if in prayer. “Oh, god. Fuck, I thought… I never want to choose again. I never…” His lips lift to find your fingers and you squeeze his hand weakly as his eyes close and you sniff. Your own tears begin to burn at your eyes.

“David, hey. David. Loki. Loke.” Your throat aches but you swallow, blinking wet trails down your cheeks. Your other hand rests on your abdomen and your gaze flickers towards it, seeing nothing there. You lift up the covers, hand travelling over your hospital gown and lift it up to find nothing but smooth skin. Raising your head despite the screaming in your neck to stop, you gaze down at yourself. Nothing. Furrowing your brow, you drag your hand up to your face where the crow had pecked at your cheek. Nothing. Nothing. “Oh, my god.” You let your head drop into the pillows with a relieved smile, and the tears that run down your face are anything but misery.

“Are you okay?” His lips move against your fingers, his eyes never leaving your face as you sink into the pillows in relief. Your whole body seems to melt as a wave of cool washes over you. It chases away the uncomfortable heat growing in your stomach and lets you close your eyes. But you don’t/

You turn to gauge his reaction, instead. “Yeah, yeah. I just… had a lotta dreams about birds.” 

It’s crazy just how fast a face can change. All of a sudden, his fingers tighten around your palm, his eyes squint and shine, he looks so much older and your weak smile prompts one of his own smiles, barely there, just a hint. It causes an old wound in your heart to nearly split open, aching like an old joint in the rain.

“Yeah?” 

You slip your hand from his grip, drag your knuckle over his cheek and he kisses your wrist where the IV isn’t digging into your skin. “Yeah.” You blink slowly, savoring every bit of his face and you sigh. “I had a dream about her, too.”

“Yeah, me, too,” he whispers and your lower lip trembles before the tears come. You feel so exhausted. You just want to sink into a bunch of clouds and sleep a century with him by your side. You’re just so sick of crying.

“I love you,” you sob, pulling his hands towards you. You need more of him near, more of his heat and his scent and him, and your fingers catch his sleeve. He gets up, the chair scraping against the floor and you open your arms. He settles into bed beside you, careful not to crush your IV and you turn to press your lips against his hair. “I love you. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

“Why the hell are you sorry?” he asks into your collarbones and you melt when his fingers trace the tiniest of shapes into your back. “Fuck.” Your tears slip down your face, nestling into his slick hair and your fingers gently scratch his head, tracing over the edge of the bandage as he lets out a soft groan. “If I had to bury you, too, I don’t… I don’t know how—”

“You don’t have to,” you promise, and he looks up at you, eyes porcelain blue, fragile as wisps of smoke, alight with new life. You feel the broken pieces of him click together in your arms as he tentatively presses a kiss against the corner of your mouth. Curls of hair fall boyishly into his eyes and you push them back with your inked hand.

“Get some rest,” he whispers against your jaw and you close your eyes. His heat envelopes you and your heart feels like it stitches itself back together as the bits of yourself you lost so many years ago come back like a moth to a flame. “I’ll be right here when you wake up. I promise.”

He tucks into the semi-colon of your body, a little snug nuclear radiator comma that holds the shattered pieces of you together and keeps you safe as you slip away, at last, to a deep sleep.

.

“Can you stand? Are you okay?” David’s voice is so warped in worry you nearly smile at how much it reminds you of another time, when he was worried for a whole other reason. You’ve been transferred into the same recovery room as David and he sits on the edge of his bed, hands out. His face is red in the light, his eye looking like it’s been sucker punched in the socket, and he looks much worse for wear than the ICU, but the small cut from where you’d punched him what feels like days ago is just beginning to heal.

“I think I’ll use the wheelchair when we go for a walk,”’ you say, your legs shaky as soon as they brush the floor. “Yeah, walking is not going to happen, right now.” David takes hold of your hands and you take a deep breath as he comes to sit next to you. Sunbeams stream against your back, and you nearly sigh at the heat of him next to you again. It’s so familiar.

It feels a lot like home.

“Not much of a walk then, is it?” he teases, stealing your breakfast placed at the table on the end of your bed. He puts the newspaper in your lap and you take it, unfolding the page to reveal Alex Jones on the front. You sigh. The man’s been transferred to a mental care facility after reuniting with his family, and you’re quite sure that he won’t ever make a full recovery. You fold the newspaper in half, and spot the picture of Keller. Eyes scanning it briefly, you look at the man beside you.

“Still haven’t found him yet?”

“No. No sign of him anywhere.” You unfold the newspaper and he opens up a fruit cup. It’s the most appetizing thing out of all the assortment on your tray. You send him a soft smile, leaning against his shoulder as he digs his spoon in.

“Um, detectives?” 

You lower your paper, the thing crushing in your lap as Loki sets down the fruit cup. Your eyes widen. You hadn’t expected to see them so soon. Grace Dover stands with Joy, Nancy Birch, and little Anna in her wheelchair. The poor girl is pale and dark-eyed, the chair dwarfing her. Your heart rends.

“I hope we’re not interrupting.”

“No, ‘course not.”

As the girl comes closer, you spot the shiny red whistle around her neck. David shakes his head, a tentative, soft smile that makes your heart melt on his lips as you set the paper aside. Your eyes train on the tiny girl who stares at you with a burning fire as her mother leans down to stroke her cheek.

“She’s doing real good.” You turn to look at David to see his eyes chained on the little girl and you wrap an arm around his waist, squeezing gently. “She’s gonna be up and around in a few days, aren’t you, buddy? She just wanted to come and say thank you and hi to her heroes.”

Your small smile grows at the defiant little raise of her chin and David’s hand on your knee squeezes gently as he looks down, unable to figure out what to say. He exhales through his nose, glancing from his knees to you. You nod, smile shrinking but growing more tender.

“Hello.”

“Hey, Anna.”

Your hand falls away from David’s waist and joins his hand on your knee. Your fingers interlock softly. Grace looks between the injured detectives and her company before clearing her throat minutely.

“Would you mind giving me a minute?”

“Yeah. Say goodbye, Joy.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll be out in a minute. Say goodbye, Anna.”

“Bye,” Anna whispers just barely, fingers lifting to wave and you send the little girl a smile in farewell.

You give a little half-wave, too, as she goes and Grace smiles after her daughter as she leaves. When the room, however, is left to the three adults, the temperature drops. You shuffle closer to David, arm weaving with his despite the strange pain that festers in your legs. The hospital gown isn’t enough to fit the cold grief in her face.

“She found her whistle,” David murmurs. Your head, still full of water, tries to nod but it explodes in pain, and David turns to support your neck immediately, gently lowering you onto his shoulder with a warm hand to your throat. Grace’s gaze soaks in the gesture but she doesn’t comment on it as she replies.

“No. She keeps insisting that Joy helped her find it… on Thanksgiving before they were taken. But I think she’s just confused. I got her a new one.” 

David nods and you press your temple into the cotton of his tee, sniffing in the smell of antiseptic. The smell is all too familiar, and reminds you of a lot of things — good and bad. Your nose twitches and his thumb runs over your pinky knuckle. He’s here. He’s here with you. Always has been. Since the beginning.

A strange silence encompasses the air as Grace’s gaze sinks to the floor. She lets out a sharp breath, something more of a scoff as if she doesn’t know whether or not to tell you before she raises her head. “He hasn’t contacted me. I know you don’t… I know you probably don’t believe that—”

“We believe you,” you whisper and Grace nods, eyes dropping again.

“Do you think you’re gonna find him?”

“Yeah.” 

“And he’ll go to jail?”

“Probably.”

The charges would be stacked. Kidnapping, assault, depending on what he’s sued with, it’ll be multiple charges. You shiver at the thought of the court case. You tried your best to save him, yet here he is. The fingerprints he left, the location, the blood-stained clothes, all too much incriminating evidence for you to argue against. Not that you would. 

“Anyway, thank you for everything.” The woman’s face crumbles and you press your lips together in a sympathetic frown. Her voice fades and she turns away, slapping a hand over her mouth and David’s hand slides over yours, squeezing tight. “Oh, god.” She pauses at the exit, and David looks away as your eyes train on the woman’s barely-shaking shoulders. Breath hitching, she turns just barely, just enough that you can see her red cheek, the soft tears. “I miss him. He did — he did what he had to do to find Anna, and I thank God for that. He’s a good man.”

The woman leaves with a barely uttered farewell and you can only echo her ‘bye’ before she’s gone. You watch her go before David presses a kiss to your temple unconsciously, shoulders curving forward.

He is, your thoughts whisper. Good men do desperate things for the people they love. Your gaze flickers to David who’s already looking off at the wall, no doubt letting those words sink in, and you, you just sag in the bed. Everything in his eyes is just a reflection, an extension of who you are, and you twist your wrist, interlacing your fingers with his.

“David,” you whisper, and he blinks hard, turning to look at you. Your free fingers reach to brush along his jaw, and you lean forward to press your forehead against his cheek.

“Wanna go for a walk?” he asks, quiet and soft. You raise your head, fingers falling to dance over his forearm where a calligraphy tattoo marks him and your lips press together in a tired smile. He glances down at the ink on your knuckles, at you and you kiss him softly.

“Okay.”

He helps you into the wheelchair. A nurse doesn’t have to accompany you since David is getting discharged this afternoon, and you grab a blanket for your legs, covering the hospital gown. David helps you shrug on a jacket and the two of you walk out into the walkways surrounding the hospital. It’s a bare garden, leaves stripped away and melting snow dotting bushes as the two of you set off on a path.

The fresh wet wind curls against your cheek and you inhale, letting the coldness of it slink into your body.

“You were right,” you begin once you think you’re away from prying ears. No one is outside besides the two of you, and your eyes flicker from the tree branches to the benches. You’re quite sure it’s lively and lovely and green other times of the year. A small slice of Eden for those suffering in your mortal world. 

“About what?”

“It wasn’t that case,” you say simply. You reach up to touch one of his hands and you just place your palm over his, despite the cold wind nipping at your knuckles.

“Yeah. I… I heard her, the aunt, talk to you. I… she was the one who did it, and I’m really fucking glad she’s dead.” You turn in your chair to look up at him but he doesn’t look at you. Against the pale grey sky, he looks ashen, the blood red of his cheek the only sign of life in him. You squeeze his hand. “Fuck.”

“What is it?”

“We’ve cut so much shit out of our lives because of her, you know?” he says, parking you by a bench in the shade of a bare tree. The bench is mostly dry and he swipes off the snow before sitting down as close as he can to you. “And I’m grateful. I’m grateful that you stayed and I stayed but… but there are so many things we could’ve done, I…”

“You think we cut her out?” you ask gently, brow furrowing. “I… I didn’t know we were trying to burn her memory away.”

“You didn’t?”

“No, I… I didn’t.” You look into your lap, fingers playing with a stray thread of the hospital jacket. “I thought you bought those gummies on purpose. The candies you keep on your dash? They… they were her favourite, y’know? And the tattoos, right here.” You tap his knuckles where astrology signs are inked darkly into him. “When did you get them? Three, four years after?” Right after our dog died. She loved that dog, you realize. His eyes widen and his breaths come short as he watches you. She’s ruled our whole lives since she's been gone, you tell him silently. Outloud, you point out, “They’re each of our astrology signs.”

“I thought you wouldn’t notice.”

“I’m a detective, David. It’s my job to notice things.” You slot your fingers with his. “We’ve never had peace with it, huh.”

“Of course not. Shit. Just… shit.” He leans into you, his head nestling against your shoulder and you tilt your head to press your cheek into his hair. “I miss her. I fucking miss her.”

“I know, baby.” 

It’s so quiet here, peaceful, and you feel like you don’t ever want to move from this place. Everything here… it’s what you want now. Quiet. His fingers dance over the ink on your knuckles as your eyes close, nail tracing every number along your skin.

1 9 9 6

.

Keller Dover is in surgery for eight hours.

It’s meticulous work, digging out a bullet and saving a tourniquet-bound leg. You sit at the police station, awaiting word in the Captain’s office as David paces back and forth. The two of you may have been discharged, but you’re supposed to be taking it easy.

This is not taking it easy.

The Captain glances at the two of you.

“I didn’t know… that that was the reason this case was so important to you,” he begins and David sends the man a glare. He means well, you guess, he just can’t help not knowing things. You slouch into the couch, playing with the masonic ring you’ve taken to wearing again along your thumb. David’s matching ring glints in the light as he tugs at the gold chain around his neck. The words engraved on the inside of the gold band press into your skin.

“We had a reason to keep it a secret, Captain, but everyone fucking knew.”

“If I knew, neither of you would’ve been on the case.”

“If you knew, Anna wouldn’t have been found,” you retort distantly. David sits beside you, his hand finding the small of your back and you look at him, twisting the ring around your thumb. “Respectfully, sir, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bring it up at all.”

“Of course. The two of you have done fine work,” he praises and you take hold of David’s knee. “The P.S.P. are breathing down my neck in an effort to snag the both of you.” Your mouth nearly drops open and you straighten up, blinking. Your eyebrows knit together as David cocks his head. “They want you for their Criminal Investigation Unit. Good pay, perks. Better than what you can get here.” 

Captain drinks his brandy, and you rub David’s knee, getting his attention.

Quiet, you tell him. Like that hospital garden. We can have that here. David’s hand on your back reaches up to cup your neck before he looks up at the Captain. He blinks, hard, and the red skin along his eye wrinkles when only hints of a smile curl at his mouth.

“Tell them we’ll stay,” he whispers. “We’ll stay here.” You touch the chain hanging around his neck, the one he hid underneath shirts and sweaters and now one he shows openly, and you smile at the golden letter that hangs on it. The Captain bows his head, draining the rest of his brandy and setting the glass on the table before heading out of the office.

“I’ll make the call. The two of you… thank you for staying.” He sends you both a nod and David gives a pressed smile to your boss. The door clicks shut. Your fingers slip over the golden R and you sigh, pressing your forehead into the curve of his neck. His thumb strokes the cord of your throat as he turns to kiss your hair.

“Maybe we should buy a house,” David mutters aloud and you smile, using your other hand to run over his ribs, run over the robin mid flight on his heaving chest. He takes hold of your wandering hand, dipping his head to look at you. You trace the tattoo of the cross as he holds you tight. “Get out of that flat.”

“That’d be nice.” You curl against him as the two of you lean into the couch and he hoists your legs into his lap as his hair falls over his eyes. You tuck it back with a smile, lifting your chin to kiss the marble of his cheek. It’s still an angry red, but you’re used to it. It means he’s healing, and so are you. “But I wanna go visit her first.”

“Really?” His voice rumbles in his chest and you close your eyes. You could fall asleep to his voice, through the nightmares, through the memories. He holds you close to him and you press your cheek against the cotton of his grey tee. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I think we should.”

“Okay.”

“But in a minute.” Your hands fist the fabric of his shirt and it twists underneath your palms. “I just… I just need a moment with you.” His lips find your hairline, hands soothing away the ache of ketamine in your system and you nearly shiver at the memory of the vulture in your stomach. He traces your side, the curve of your thighs, the bow of your lips and you feel a smile pull at your mouth.

Rough stone has been picked away from your skin, smoothed away with sandpaper and chiselled off with a hammer until all that is left is soft skin and a mind that knows better than to make the same mistakes. Summer heat kisses your flesh in the heart of winter as David runs his lips over the inside of your wrist, the tips of your fingers. He simply indulges, and so do you.

He is ceramic in your hands, glass, malleable metal that bends at your touch and you press a sneaking kisses down his neck, at every point of the tattooed star. 

“We should’ve been better,” he whispers when you’ve exhausted yourself in lazy and sweet kisses and have resorted to just sitting on the couch, legs tangled together, bodies pressed in inexplicable heat. “Just… just been better for her.”

“Yeah, well… I have to believe this is what was meant to be.” Your eyelashes brush against his cheek as your words ghost against his jaw. “After everything… you’re still here, aren’t you?”

He smiles — you can feel it — and so do you. “So are you.” He turns his head away to look at the clock and he sighs, detaching himself with a groan. “We’ve gotta get outta here. You hungry?” You straighten your legs, sitting up on the couch as David stands and runs his hands through his hair.

“Yeah. I know a place.” He sticks out a hand towards you. You grin and place your hand in his. As he pulls you up, you can’t help the words that slip out. “We’ve gotta figure out your zodiac sign.”

.

You set the bunch of flowers down, white flowers bright against the grey stone as you kneel in the dry dirt. The lavender looks like it wilts in the wind as David crouches beside you, reaching forward to touch the stone. 

He looks like a man scorned, but a bitter smile still finds its way onto his face as you set down the glass container full to the brim with gummies. Kissing his necklace, David closes his eyes and sits down flat next to you. You brush your fingers over the etched letters and an emptiness inside you grows as you take in the polished thing. You haven’t come here… in so long. It’s been so long. Your heart falls apart again as you press a kiss to the stone.

“I’m sorry we haven’t been here in a while, honey,” David rasps, fingers trembling as he runs them over. “We’ve been so busy and fuck, I miss you so much. I… I know someone’s been takin’ good care of you up there. God, probably. You know he loves his angels.” You watch as his face crumbles and you close your eyes, a shivering breath crawling out of your mouth as you bow your head. “You’re still my baby girl. I didn’t forget you, I promise. I love you. I love you.” His forehead presses against the stone and you open your eyes as tears slip down your nose and cheeks, catching on the bow of your lips before dripping onto dry dirt.

“We saved a little girl,” you begin, the words burning through your throat and chest. The weak smile that surfaces shakes uncontrollably as you let out a breath, muscles aching. “She reminded me a lot of you, and I know that doesn’t mean shit, because you’re still gone, but it just… it felt good. Knowing I could save her when I couldn’t save you. Although,” you murmur, “your daddy saved the both of us.” Polished stone glides over your fingertips. “I love you so much, darling. Your daddy killed the woman who took you. She’s going to hell, now, and you can rest.”

“You know your daddy. No one hurts his girls without paying for it,” David murmurs, lips brushing against the stone. His eyes are shut tight, tears tracking down his blotchy skin, and you reach over with a quavering hand to brush them away. One of his hand flies to yours, holding your palm to his face and he kisses the heel of your hand.

“We’ll be okay, without you. I think… I think we’ll be okay.” You sniff, a laugh biting through your pain as your other hand flattens against the stone. You can almost feel her… feel her presence. A tiny body against yours, warm like a fire and smelling like clean sheets and chocolate. Ribbons of tears cool against the wind as you press your cheek against the top of the stone. “I love you. Daddy loves you.”

“I love you so much, baby.” His eyes closed, his breaths mist in the air as you reach out for his hand on the stone. Immediately, his fingers lace with yours. “You keep me going. You and your mom.” He sends you a weak smile and your hand his cheek strokes away the fresh, hot tears that warm your skin despite the winter wind biting at your fingers. The two of you sit there around the tombstone for what feels like hours, pouring your souls out, and you weep when snow begins to fall. A bird caws in the distance and you raise your head as a tiny little thing flits to a branch above your head. 

The red-breast creature chirps and a wet, desperate smile makes its way onto your face. You want to believe that, despite everything, this is your little girl. The bird chirps again, and you turn to your…

Your something.

“You think it’s her?” you whisper and he chuckles throatily, kissing your tear-stained cheek with tear-stained lips.

“I think she’s telling us to get off our asses and get some rest,” he replies. Snowflakes land on your skin like feathers and you lick them away from your lips. “You telling us to go home, baby?”

The bird chirps and the two of you smile. Your fingers find his, his interlock with yours. You kiss the stone farewell, and stand. David lingers still, and you swallow the cold that settles in your gut as you squeeze his hand.

“See you soon, baby,” he whispers and you pull him up. You nudge the glass container closer to the stone as you blow a kiss to the sky. “Come on. Let’s go home.” You wrap an arm around his waist and nod, the knots in your throat preventing you from uttering a single word. The emptiness inside you is more pronounced, you think, as you walk through the cemetery, but you feel a lot more human, too. You know that hole inside you won’t ever fill, but perhaps it’s something that doesn’t need to be fixed. 

You lift your head to the drifting snow as you walk to the car together. All is silent in this solemn winter land and you pull off the masonic ring, fingertip running over the inscription. 

The same inscription carved into the stone you’ve left behind. 

Robin Loki

1996-2003

David presses a kiss against your wet smile as he twists the keys in the ignition. You chuckle, wiping at your cheeks and you reach for the container of gummies on his dash. The Sedan rolls into motion and you sink into the chair, eyes closing. 

To say you love Loki…

Maybe it’s not so much of a stretch after all.

tags: @woah-jess @jenlrose @mytinybaguette @arcaneloki @space-helen @dulharpa @bohemianrhapsody86 @bubblemyg @sataninsatin @detectivelokiisabae @deviantly-gayy

[thinking-ji]

Why does TXT’s “We Lost The Summer” MV work?

Hi, I’m back again to overanalyse TXT’s MV for “We Lost The Summer”. After first watching it, I was overwhelmed by sadness but didn’t know why. After all, there have been literally tons of videos and songs about COVID-19. Until 2h ago, perhaps the most heart-wrenching song I’d heard about the topic was FINNEAS’ “What They'll Say About Us". Yet I was more deeply affected by “We Lost The Summer” thanks to its combination of brutal honesty, clever cinematic juxtaposition and images of kids suffering (from first world problems, but problems all the same).

I think what makes the MV work so well are two things:

The song conveys a message of longing for the past, for the "normal". This complements all the contrasting shots of "what is" and "what could have been". It hurts to see kids who could have had a fun summer with their friends out in the warm sun be banished to self-isolation with no one but themselves (or in some cases, a soft toy or a dog) for company.

Their acting. Their facial expressions do tons in expressing the plot, especially in the scenes where they look longingly at the camera. As cheesy as that sounds, their expressions line up perfectly with the almost resentful mood of the song.

Click ‘read more’ for frame-by-frame analysis of what makes the MV work:

0:09-0:15 Taking photos as a group in front of the toilet mirror, probably in school. Bright. Just a normal day in school with ya bros, no problems hugging one another.

0:16 Cut to Yeonjun receiving a Public Safety Alert. He's using an iPhone - this feature was not available until a few months into the COVID-19 outbreak (20 May 2020). Two possibilities - 1) This marks the point at which everything changed i.e. when the pandemic became concerning enough that quarantine was necessary (note the strict warning on screen - "If you leave home, assume you were exposed to COVID-19."); 2) canon-compliant sequence of events - this was in May 2020, when there was also a spike in cases in South Korea (see: Itaewon spike). The former is more likely, considering the lyrics "left alone on the evening of an endless March 1".

0:16-0:17 Back and forth shot - we first see the Public Safety Alert (with a jarring alert ringtone), then the video cuts to the group's concerned reaction, then back to the Public Safety Alert. Almost as if they cannot believe what they're seeing. Note also that the second shot of the Public Safety Alert is clearer than the first - they're paying more attention the second time around.

0:18 Cut to awkward Zoom call (with dog!).

0:19 Intro to main protagonist Yeonjun. Interesting styling choices here - Yeonjun doesn't himself have tattoos; these are fake tattoos. I see this as an effort to represent every kind of young person - it's not only the studious, clean-cut kids who choose to stay home. Now, even the stereotypical bad boys who would usually stay out are forced to stay home as well (that is, if they choose to be socially responsible).

Yeonjun is also putting on a simple singlet here. This is a clear departure from his school uniform. He's chosen to dress comfortably and looks disappointed. Perhaps he feels that nothing matters at this point. This will be a recurring theme throughout the video.

0:24 He gets up to hug his teddy bear, likely a source of comfort. He appears to be alone. Maybe the teddy bear is his only companion when he's at home. A stark contrast to the beginning of the video, when he had a squad of friends to hang out with.

0:26-0:27 Yeonjun starts to dress up for the Zoom call with his friends later. He seems to be in a much better mood with this semblance of normalcy. Or maybe he's just practicing his smile for the camera. His room is bright despite the blinds being drawn; it's the morning.

0:28 We realise that Yeonjun was smiling in the mirror. His expression changes as soon as he looks away. He's not happy about the situation; guess he's just practicing his smile for later.

0:31 The squad's coming online, just waiting for Yeonjun. Everyone is dressed up in bright colours, against their very bright and cheerily-coloured rooms. Juxtaposed with the rather dull school outfits and blue walls at the beginning of the video.

0:33-0:36 For the first time since being at home, he appears to be truly excited. He waves enthusiastically at the squad. Interestingly, his curtains are drawn and the only source of light is a neon green light in the corner of his room. It's unclear what time it is.

0:39 Classic eyes closed, close-up shot of Kai's face. Sadness. Slight increase in exposure near the end of the shot - reminiscence of a time when the surroundings were brighter.

0:41 Flashback to old times in school with the squad. The setting is brightly-lit. We'll see that this changes as the MV progresses.

0:47 Sharing earphones. Ah, the good times.

0:52 Taehyun throws a baseball across the open area. Something you won't get to do inside unless you want to break something.

0:54 Cut to Soobin lying down on the floor of his room (peak relaxing position tbh). He's just dropped his phone on his face. First world problems. Sucks that even little things like this will happen more often now that they're home alone with their phones being their only connection to the outside world.

0:56 Guess Soobin is trying to preoccupy himself by putting together a (big, may I add) puzzle. Seems like he also tried to distract himself with whack-a-mole. But he can't help but watch old videos of him and his friends - this is marked by the school uniforms. Again, reminiscing the old times.

0:58 Closer look at the video Soobin is watching.

1:00 Dude fell asleep with a puzzle piece on his face omg. Clearly bored/frustrated/tired of being stuck at home with puzzles being the most interesting thing he could possibly do alone.

1:01 Yeah, he's not happy about it.

1:03-1:08 Beomgyu is at home with his dog. I can't tell much other than that his dog doesn't hate him, which is a good thing when your dog is your closest companion at home.

1:09-1:12 I can't think of this shot of them syncing the choreo over Zoom being anything other than a cool way to transition to the dance and juxtapose with them performing the choreography together (see: 1:13~1:19).

1:20 Jamming out to the song together.

1:21, 1:24, 1:25, 1:27, 1:28: Yeonjun jamming out alone.

1:31 It's raining/snowing...

1:32 In their hideout in school (remember it's only partially covered). Also note that the colour scheme in the school setting has gotten much duller than before.

1:34 Taehyun catches a baseball. Note that he isn't in his school uniform, so we can assume he is alone here while everyone else is staying in.

1:35, 1:38, The squad escapes the rain.

1:40 Yeonjun admiring his image in the mirror while trying on a different jacket. Compare this and the previous images of him looking into the mirror, with a later shot of him looking into a mirror. Here, we can see both him and his reflection, which gives us the impression that he isn't alone.

1:44 Beomgyu is on the floor hugging his dog. Maybe he's given up lol

1:46 Beomgyu opened the blinds a little to look outside. "Want to see you again."

1:48, 1:50 I'm not sure what Kai was trying to do, but he definitely messed up that smiley face. Seems like an allusion to how everything was fine and dandy, but then this virus just had to come and ruin it for everyone.

1:51 Seems like Taehyun is playing baseball with himself.

1:56, 1:59 Repetitions show that Taehyun is going through the motions. Has nothing better to do.

2:03, 2:07 These shots confused me at first, but "I hate my face drained of expression" clears it up. Communicating online has reduced us to avatars, profile pictures and our digital versions of ourselves. A pretty digital avatar void of human emotion - that's what Soobin has become.

2:13 Beomgyu seems pretty happy creating his personal Jurassic Park...

2:15 But yeah, there could've been better things to do.

2:16 I know Beomgyu is creating an obstacle course for his dog, but his constantly changing environment (e.g. additional bowling pins in this frame) makes it seem like he's trying every possible trick in the book to occupy himself while he's alone.

2:22 Again, the introduction of Beomgyu's dog makes it seem like he's exhausting all his sources of entertainment. I'm not complaining though, it's cute to see him try.

2:25-2:26 The transition to a wide shot showing that Beomgyu's dog is leashed indoors is jarring when you think twice about it. There's no reason to leash his dog when they're indoors, but maybe he's trying to simulate being outside.

2:28 From here onwards is where the structure of the MV changes. Before this, we'd been getting shots of TXT at home interspersed with flashbacks of their time together pre-COVID. But now they're out on a large, empty road on a bright day. They would not be dancing on such a wide road if it weren't empty because no one needs/wants/is allowed to go anywhere. Also note that these are different outfits from previous cuts of them dancing, where they were dressed in their school uniforms.

2:31 Taehyun pastes a sticker of pixel ver. squad on his drone. Perhaps highlighting the fact that the only reminder he has of them while they're separated is their online presence.

2:33 Taehyun is wearing a helmet to fly his drone even though he doesn't really need to. It's not like he's travelling outside or anything. But anything to escape the feeling of being stuck at home, I guess. You do you. Also, the fact that he's flying a drone is symbolic of his wish to travel or at least wander outside. He can't do it in person, so he lets his drone do it for him.

2:33 The squad arrives on the rooftop! Note that Yeonjun is wearing the jacket he tried on the second time - this is still during COVID times. How were they able to get on the rooftop with Taehyun when they were all supposed to be at home? REBELS. Maybe this is all just a dream... unless? Last thing - it's sunset here, which links to...

2:47 It's snowing and dark outside in their usual hideout in school. Note that Yeonjun is wearing the same outfit as in the dancing on the road cuts. Clear juxtaposition between hopes and reality.

2:48 Their bench and things are covered in snow, almost as if the winter has stopped them from doing whatever they were doing before. "Endless winter."

2:53, 2:57 They're taking photos alone. Interesting upside-down shots.

2:55 They're trying to have fun in the winter but for Beomgyu it's just not the same.

3:00 The brightly-lit toilet is juxtaposed with - gasp! - not its reflection. Without his friends, Yeonjun perhaps finds that staring into a mirror alone isi like staring into a dark void, or a duller version of reality.

3:02 Also, it's snowing on the other side. Note that in all the 'winter' shots we've been getting, it's always dark.

3:09 Is Yeonjun trying to check if there's a mirror, or reach into the void?

3:11 We get confirmation that there is a mirror in reality, but to Yeonjun it feels like a void. This image of him telling his reflection that "it's all gone" is honestly heartbreaking.

3:14 The squad is together, but the winter is depressing.

3:20 The most direct reference to COVID in this entire MV. "It's all gone". The masks serve as a tangible representation of the new normal. Their expressions are all gone now ("I hate my face drained of expression") since half their faces are hidden. It no longer matters if they smile or laugh; no one can see it anyway.

3:21-3:25 Direct reference to social distancing.

3:25 The toilet gets progressively darker.

3:36 It's snowing on the road now, almost as if the bleakness of their reality has permeated through to their imagination of a brighter future.

3:39 Interestingly, compared to the past few shots of the boys in the dark winter, they seem to be slightly happier here, getting used to the new normal.

3:40 Butterfly on Beomgyu's face a representation of summer.

3:46 Cut to someone's phone on the bench, the only thing that hasn't been covered in snow, the only bright thing in the darkness. Looks like this is the last video they filmed while they were out on the road dancing.

Overall, it seems that:

bathroom, bright school hideout scenes = the past

road scene = last time they were able to see each other, transition period OR a time between strict quarantine and "new normal" where cases were low enough that people felt comfortable going outside

home scenes = quarantine period

winter scenes = new normal

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

Cats, coffee, an old apartament and... oh, yeah, the apocalypse

Kanene’s note:

Heyioo, my lollipops! Howz everything going? :3

Wow, it had been a really long time since I made a long-fic. I think this is gonna be the shorter chapter, to be honest! This will be basically a crazy crack fanfic with more mentions to coffee than the healthy amount recommended by any doctor or people with common sense.

xDDD

Hope you like it! Oh, and little warning: Remy is a grumpy sh*t without his morning coffees.

That is it! Hope you like it! <3

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* That is just a Crack Fanfic with Remy and the Sides. There will be angst and action, but it will be more centered in Crack, fluff and being a big, crazy family.

* This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to the amazing Thomas Sanders in his series of Sanders Sides.

* The next chapter is already posted

* Something around 1000 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* There isn’t any shipp, but feel free to see them in a Romantic or Platonic Relationship!!  ^w^)/

* E a versão em português brasileiro sairá em breve! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Watch a fun video, eat a lot of seconds cookies (but be careful, sure!!), talk with the one that you love and drink water! Byeioo!~

                               [~*~]

Chapter 01 - ...Wait a second...

His eyes opened at the very moment when the world spun at high speed around him and his tired brain couldn't understand anything before his wonderful and precious face had a beautiful, and totally inconvenient if you asked, date with the hard, cold floor.

Urg. Mornings are stupid.

Remy considered simply ignore the expulsion he just received from his bed (How could you?! I thought we were true lovers, soulmates even!) and returning to his deep sleep on the floor which resembled wood, however, his sweet and insatiable wish for coffee screamed loudest, giving him enough strength to lift up his face, ignore the big red mark that now adorned his forehead, breakup with his (maybe not anymore) bed, grab his comforters as his part of the divorce, became a cinnamon roll with them, pick up his phone and head the kitchen as 'Shake it off' played on the background.

Coffee. Mug. Sugar. Why the Sun has to show off so much its light? What a bitch. Sunglasses. Cream. Cat. Coffee. Living Room. Someday he will need to pick this underwear up the floor but this day is not today. Broken window. Couch. Television. Coffe-

Wait.

Broken WHAT?

- Motherfuc-- The furious curse died in exasperated no-so-muffled sounds spreads through his tongue as he moved closer to the pieces of broken glass which spread themselves until at least three feet from the casing of the only window in the room. A rock rested in the middle of the pieces, probably the one carrying the responsibility for the attack. Remy hold it, his eyes burning as hit the mineral in a so deep, strong intensity that if it had a mouth or a bit of love for its life, would be already babbling, between mercy pleas, all the culprits names. He tsked in disgust, his lenses shining as he deposited it in one of the shelters next to his television. Humpf. If that was a robbery, the robber was VERY mistaken in thinking that Remy would not use his contacts to find someone able in seek and detect digitals in inanimate objects. And then, when he found the guilty, he would take this very same rock and dig it right up their a-

Yeah, Remy was in a bad mood now. Thank you for noticing.

His gaze wandered across its casing in order to absorb the entirety of the damage caused, until his eyes got captured for something in the street. Or, better phrasing, the lack of something in the street.

Cars.

And people.

And smoke, sirens and automobiles, any and every other movement or presentation of life in any form. He frowned, his mind running, scouring quickly through his memories in search of some memory of any kind of an interdiction warning that would happen in the neighborhood that day, or even some protest and/or strike his street would be participating. Nothing emerged from his foggy brain.

Weird.

He got his cell phone and snorted angry when realized the Wi-fi had went out. What the hell was that, an apocalypse? Clicked his tongue once more, adjusting his sunglasses before heading to his room, taking the last sips of his vital energy and then get dressed to finally go to a Coffe Shop and really have his breakfast.

(What? Sure he would drink a cup of coffee before drink and appreciate his real morning coffee, he wasn’t a barbarian.)

He went down the stairs because as it seemed the power in the building had went out as well (He swear, this place was falling apart!) and Remy hadn’t a single drop of willpower to talk the unsympathetic, close-minded manager by the first hours of his day and ending up being arrested for aggression.

His walk was bathed in silence, in the strangest way in a whole life where Remy never had the pleasure to feel a wave of peace for wherever he went. Not a single kid skating in the sidewalk, not a grumpy, angry adult shoving everyone away with their leather briefcase and espresso coffee in hands, not a pigeon nearly getting hit and not a sea of cars communicating with each other through a horned morse-code… Nothing. Just the fresh air of an cloudy day and plastics bags dancing and flying around with the calm breeze. The stores were a mess, as if they had come from a Black Friday terror movie. There were clothes spread in the pharmacies floor, games in the middle of restaurants and some non-perishable food in toy stores. Some windows of the establishment were equally broken, so the coffee lover tried to not take too much personal the attack in his sixth FUCKING floor apartment and attempted to concentrate in absorb all the scenario which surrounded him, instead.

His eyes fell in a graffiti in the facade of a electronic store, shining in between the sunshine as a exotic warning:

IT IS THE END.

And one more on the church doors:

HOLY WATER AND CROSSES TO EXTERMINATE THE EVIL 30% OFF!

His mind went back to his own thoughts in that morning. A gelid shiver ran across all the length of his spine.

"What the hell was that? An apocalypse?"

His footsteps made an muffled sounds as he stepped in a crumpled newspaper on the sidewalk. He kneeled down to pick it, the title gleaming in mesmerizing colors in its caps lock, news covering most than half of the first page:

"IS IT THE END OF THE HUMANITY?"

And then Remy looked around one more time, newspaper slipping through his fingers as the perception of what really happened whilst his beauty full-day sleep finally hit him in its entirety.

He was… in a post-apocalyptic scenario.

- Geez… Well, I never liked people that much, anyway.-- And then adjusted his sunglasses, plugged his headphones and went to rob the Starbucks' coffee stocks, because if this was an apocalypse it was time to establish his priorities.

[luniellar]

It’s You: 03 (Previously Eternal Sunshine)

A/N: I’m back with a new title, fam. It’s the song title that I put on repeat whenever I’m writing this. Also, I’m halfway done with my next chapter! I know I’m leaving a bit of a cliff hanger here, but rest assured the next chapter is coming soon. I promise.

+ a quick thank you to you guys writing comments! I write for the 3 comments I recieve LOL

Summary: Chris, Sebastian, and Julie (Fictional Character) have been friends for a long time… even before Chris and Seb started their acting careers and landed a role in the Marvel Universe. Friendship opened a new path to love and it’s starting to look… complicated.

Pairing: Chris Evans X Julie (Fictional Character), Sebastian Stan X Julie (FC) 

Genre: Romance | Drama

Audience: PG-13…? (Jk there are some F-bombs and inappropriate language that might be suitable for the young)

Navigation: Prologue | 01 | 02 | 03 ... Masterlist

Present Day [A/N: This picks up from the end of the Prologue]

The air around me felt suffocating. Seb turned off the car engine and I took this chance to unlock the car door and step outside. The cool night breeze blew at my face and it felt nice like I could breathe again. I crossed my arms as I leaned against the car door staring at the empty darkness. The sand and dirt swept against my heels. After everything that happened tonight, this peace was mentally and physically welcomed.

A second later, I heard the car door open and close behind me. As Seb walked up to me,  I watched him take off his suit jacket. He stood in front of me as he wrapped the jacket around my body. I felt his warmth radiating against my body. The feeling was equivalent to burying yourself on your bed after a stressful day at work.

Seb softly leaned against the car next to me. “What are you going to do?”

“Go home,” I replied.

“You know he’s going to be there whether it’s the hotel or your place back at Boston,” Seb sighed and paused. “You can stay over at my place.”

I exhaled in defeat. “I didn’t know I was supposed to be running from him. It’s just Chris.”

“It’s not just Chris.”

“He’s the same Chris you and I knew for years, Seb. I’m going to be okay.” Was I trying to convince myself?

“I don’t want you getting hurt,” he whispered. From the corner of my eyes, I knew that he was staring at me, but I didn’t want to look at him. I knew the moment I turned, I wouldn’t be able to hold back my tears. I kept my eyes facing forward.

“Seb,” I started. “I appreciate everything you did for me today, but this is my problem and I can take of myself,” I said. I didn’t know if this was true, but I thought if I said it out loud, maybe it would happen.

“I’m not saying that you can’t take care of it, Julie,” he paused. “I just don’t want you getting hurt from this.”

“It’s too late,” I whispered. My heart was torn... no, shredded into microscopic pieces. I remembered Chris’ last text before arrived at the premiere.

Stay at the hotel.

I bit my lips and looked down at my feet. “Seb, why am I so stubborn? Why did I turn back?” I heard my voice wavering as I was fighting to hold my tears back. Sebastian reached out his arm, wrapped it around my shoulder and pulled me in. I smelled the subtle hint of his familiar cologne greeted me as I buried my face into his chest. The moment my face touched his shirt, the tears quietly rained down uncontrollably.

Between my sobs, I heard his soft voice.

“Shh, it’s going to be alright,” he muttered.

- - s a m e  d a y  ,  f e w  h o u r s  a g o 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My phone alarm blared. Frustrated, I threw the blankets on top of my head shut the alarm, but realized my phone was inside my blankets. Ugh.

“Fine!” I shouted as I got up from my bed. The sun was beaming through the hotel room windows and I glanced over at the digital clock on the end table.

10:03 AM

I would have long past overslept if this was a regular work day (adding the three hour time difference from Boston), but today was my debut on the red carpet. I glanced over at the red gown hanging on my small clothes rack. Well, okay let me rephrase that. It wasn’t my debut. It was Chris and Seb’s Avenger’s Endgame premiere.

I looked over at the simple and modest dress I settled on after months of searching. I had the hardest time looking for a classic even gown and finding one that fit my budget was close to impossible. Celebrities had luxury sponsors and I had a trusty old friend, Google. I looked over at the mirror and my half-awake wildling-self looked back at me.

Yep. I had a lot of work to do.

I turned on the hot water for the bathtub as I threw my PJs on the floor. Chris offered to have a limo come pick me up for a full A-list treatment tonight, but I refused. I wanted to put in the effort to prepare for this. Especially if what Chris said was really happening. I felt my cheeks blush just at the slightest thought of what was going to happen tonight.

“I want us to go public,” Chris said casually as he was washing the dishes.

I turned to look at him in confusion as I added the last dinner plates to the sink. “Huh?”

He turned off the water and turned his body towards me. His hands were still covered in soap and dripping with water. “You know, you and me going public.”

“What do you mean going pu-” I stopped my mid-sentence as I finally understood what he meant. He wanted to tell people about our relationship. I almost choked on my own breath. “Chris,” I started.

“I’m sick of these pointless articles always pairing me up with people,” he finished. “You know, the other day Robert linked me a fanfiction novel pairing me up with him.”

Huh, he obviously didn’t look the numerous fanfictions with him and Seb. I smiled at my voice inside my head and he frowned. “Jules, I’m serious about this.”

I didn’t lose my smile. Too much time around Chris did this to you. “Chris, the fanfics can’t be controlled. We might have to brainstorm another way to deal with that.”

Chris took a step closer to me and reached for my hand. He intertwined his soapy fingers with mine. “I want to make us official. It’s been two years. I know I want to be with you.”

My heart skipped a beat as I gazed at his baby blue eyes. “Mmn… is this supposed to be a proposal?” I asked and he shook his head.

“This is just me trying to let the world know about the most beautiful, kind-hearted, and warm soul I’ve kept to myself all these years.”

I glanced over at my phone again.

4:05 PM

I had a car scheduled to pick me up from my hotel in an hour and I just finished my eyeliner after a straight hour of drawing and erasing. My sensitive skin around my eyes was begging me to stop. My eyes constantly shifted from the time to the mirror. I hurriedly made finishing touches with blush, soft-glowing highlighter, and mascara. I grabbed the matte red lipstick from my purse and put it over my lips. I let my soft waves down and looked at myself in accomplishment.

You look beautiful, Jules.

Chris’ voice echoed my head and I felt my face growing warmer. I couldn’t wait until we were back in my apartment in Boston after all this. Shaking my head, I quickly threw my phone and my lipstick in my small clutch. I walked over to my gown and got in my dress. I pulled out a new pair of nude heels I bought for this event. After I was done, I stood in front of the full-size mirror and looked at myself.

I felt beautiful.

This feeling was rare and much welcomed right now.

This was exactly how I wanted to look “going public” with the man of my life.

The Lyft driver was so confused when I gave him the address to the premiere. After circling the area a dozen times to be stopped by blocked roads, he dropped me off about two blocks from the location.

“This is the best I could do,” he said in a monotone as the car came to a stop.

“Thank you,” I said as I got out of the taxi holding on to my gown. I didn’t expect my Lyft to pull up to the red carpet, but I also didn’t think that I would be walking myself to the premiere. Thankfully, these streets were empty and I only got one or two glances from the occasional dog walkers. I watched as my driver drove off and I stood there on the sidewalk with my long scarlet evening gown. I pulled a hair tie from my clutch and put my hair up to a messy bun. What was the worst that could happen?

I walked the streets leading to the Los Angeles Convention Center. As I got closer, the people on the streets exponentially duplicated as well. I saw people dressed up as Iron Man, Captain America, Captain Marvel… wait did I just see a Groot? While I was busy staring at all the cosplayers, I realized that my red dress was noticed less and less. Whew.

Was I just supposed to show up? Where was the entrance? Chris told me to just tell the guards to get him, but I was convinced that was the number one way to get kicked out by security. I reached for my phone in my clutch. When I looked at my phone, I had one text from Chris. Perfect timing.

Stay at the hotel.

What?

I stood there staring at my phone in confusion. The text arrived 5 minutes ago. What did he mean? I was about to press call when a loud honk startled me. I looked over at the street where a pitch black Cadillac sedan was stopped.

What was this guys problem?

I took a few steps and the car slowly matched my pace next to me. Was it following me? I stopped and the car did the same. I saw more people staring at my direction as they walked by. I turned to face the car and the passenger side door opened. From the seat, Frank (Seb’s newbie assistant) came out of the car.

“Fra-” I started to say as he turned and opened the back seat door facing me.

“Ms. Julie,” Frank said bowing with his cute black tux and bow.

By this point, every pair of eyes were on me at this and I quickly made my way into the car. When I got in, a familiar figure was sitting on the other side.

“Were you really planning to walk yourself there?” Seb asked and I sighed in relief. The car drove off once Frank got back in the car.

“How did you find me?” I asked and he looked back at me diverting his gaze to my dress. Oh, jeez. I was about to throw a comment about how I actually took a Lyft here when I realized it could wait. He was wearing a fitted light blue suit with a simple white shirt underneath. He always looked good no matter what he wore.

“You look nice,” I said, smiling.

“Thank you. And you look stunning,” he smiled back. There was something about the way he said that. I was flattered by his genuine compliment, but something felt missing.

“Where’s Chris?” He asked.

Chris.

The name reminded me of the text and I frantically reached for my phone.

“Jules?” Seb asked.

I opened the text again. No replies or anything. “Seb, I think I have to go back to the hotel.”

“Huh, what do you mean?” he asked, but it was too late. I didn’t realize the car had already stopped and Frank was on the other side of the open door.

“Just go straight from here and it will take you to the purple carpet path,” Frank said as he held the door for me to get off. I stood by the car after I got off and Seb got out from the other side.

“What do you mean you have to go back?” Seb asked again. I handed my phone to him with Chris’ text pulled up. His face narrowed and handed my phone back to me. “He should be around here somewhere. I’ll look for him and Frank can take you to the venue.”

Frank nodded as he shut the door behind me. Seb jogged off toward the carpet area and the car drove off leaving me and Frank behind.

“Don’t worry,” Frank assured me with a nervous smile. “You can follow me.” [A/N: This is some foreshadowing, you guys already know if nothing were to happen after this there would be no story.]