#i feel like a new mother rocking her child in her arms who wont stop crying

[supermarketcrush]

anyway i love you all so much i love you i love you i love you

[oh-for-fic-sake]

The Home Coming

Masterlist

When Henry returns to a depressed pregnant wife its his mission to get his girls back to normal, even if it means a showdown with a new mother at the Paige’s preschool.

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, Angst, Anxiety and Self esteem issues

A/N: so here is another House to home chapter! wanted this to be a sweet romantic chapter to a point not entierly sure about it but its finished so I hope you all enjoy

Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @thatgirly81​ @angelofthorr @iloveyouyen​ @sofiebstar​ @thefangirlsblog​

Henry sighed as the phone rang, he was trying to videocall you but you hadn't answered. He was going to surprise you, filming had over run and he'd been held back an extra two weeks but was currently by the side of your house hiding around the drive he was going to call you and do the whole 'look outside' thing but was loosing hope fast that you would answer. Then suddenly he was greeted with Paiges face holding the phone awkwardly as all children seemed to do.

"Hey poppet! What are you doing with Mummys phone?" She smiled and squealed at him.

"DADDYYY! HI DADDY!" He chuckled watching the way she moved clumsily through the house catching glimpses of kal as he followed her as she went up the stairs, his heart jumped as she moved fast and unsteady tipping this way and that.

"Hey! hey no running! You'll fall! That's it baby, good girl now what have you been doing today then little lady?" She grinned angling the phone to her face where he got a clear view up her nose.

"I went- I went to school! And then we did painting and did our letters and numbers and I got another star on my chart! Then I've been cheering up Mummy...When are you gonna come home Daddy? Shes sad and I think you can make her better..." Henry frowned you were all smiles when he phoned and face timed whats changed?.

"Paige what? Shes sad? Why baby? whats-how do you know Mummy is sad?" She hummed stopping finally holding the phone correctly he could tell she had just sat on the top step of the staircase as kal moved sitting beside her nudging her for a hug. She slung her little arm around his back making him pant happily.

"Well she just is....She stays in her pajamas most of the time and she is sad she cries sometimes..She doesn't think I hear her but I do...And she misses you, she cries in the bathroom and gets angry cos she can't have a bath" Henry frowned that the way Paige had said it, almost like its been happening for a while. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Its since the mean lady" Henry blinked confused.

"What lady? What happened to mummy baby?" Paige looked left and right then leaned into the phone

"The-theres a new girl at play school...Shes mean and she kicks and scratches people she keeps getting sent home cos shes bad! and her Mummy is the same...She-she called me and Mummy liars! And she said your not my real Daddy! And Mummy was bad for telling me you was!...Y-you are my real Daddy aren't you?" Henry was shocked to say the least! Just what the fuck has been going on he has never ever heard his little nugget ask something so fucking ridiculous!

"Of course I'm your real Daddy poppet! And don't you let anyone ever tell you otherwise little lady! What else has this nasty lady said?" Henry had to hold back as there was many swear words trying to creep into his outburst and he didn't need Paige to start repeating them.

"Well....Then she was really mean to Mummy calling her names! For a few while ,she said Mummy was fat and lazy and that if you were my Daddy you wont love her anymore when you come home... She was really mean and made Mummy sad....I told Mummy not to listen but she smiles and says she is okay...But she isn't...Patty is still nasty she said her Mummy said that you wasn't my Daddy cos Mummy doesn't have her ring on... " Henry took a moment your not wearing your ring? "Mummy doesn't wear her ring?" Paige hummed and tilted her head

"It's on a necklace..She was sad her fingers don't fit!" Ah, that makes sense your hands and feet swelt whilst you was pregnant with Paige...

Still Henry was shocked you would keep this from him,  he could hardly  believe what he was hearing. Why hadn't you said anything? Why was you letting this get to you? You were fucking amazing sexy and just drop dead gorgeous! And you wasn't fat you were pregnant ... which Henry found incredibly attractive anyway, he loved when you was pregnant, glowing carrying a piece of him inside you. It did things to him, he just loved how when people saw you they saw him to, they saw what he had done. Sure people knew what you'd done when they saw Paige but when you were pregnant it was...a piece of him was still there inside you growing.

He felt honoured that you'd allow him to do that, allowed him to get you pregnant, to undergo such a drastic bodily change. Sure women gain a little weight but he didn't care fuck if it bothered you once he gets the go ahead after the birth he will help you loose weight with giving you regular cardio bedroom style....Even if you didn't want to loose it you'd be undergoing some pretty strenuous cardio with him any way.

"Paige, thank you for telling me your a very good girl and I'm proud of you for helping her feel better but could you put your Mother on the phone please?" She looked up and sighed shaking her head.

"No Daddy, shes sleeping she tries not to but she can't help it! We was watching Paddington and she fell asleep....I was gon' get her fuzzy blankie" he watched as Paige got up moving but he called out to her sighing."No no your not carrying that down the stairs...Poppet come open the front door but be quiet don't wake your mother" she frowned but smiled moving down the steps slower than she had scaled them. Henry circled back to the front of the house waiting by the front door.

"Fuuckdge!-Hold the banisTER...Jesus...Your going to be the death of me child...God I hate watching you on the stairs nugget" she grinned as she made it to the last step then skipped to the door she heard a small sound from Henry ending the call and opened the door.

She jumped up at him happily giving him kisses as the tears started. He managed to slip into the house relatively quietly muffling Paige's sobs in his shoulder as he tucked one arm under her bottom a she moved reaching up to cuddle into his neck. He moved slowly sliding his suit case by the front door as he closed it, he rocked Paige shushing her trying to sooth her. His other hand was petting and excited Kal who was jumping up at him for his own cuddle.

"I know princess I know....Shh I've missed you to poppet, but I'm home now...That’s it.... Oh baby don't cry see? look daddy's back nugget and I've got a long time home now...Shh shhh good girl...You've been so good looking after Mummy and the baby for me huh?" She nodded whining into him still crying her heart out. He sighed kissing her head. 

Henry moved through the house seeing you crashed out on the sofa, he could see from here you wasn't yourself it was...Uou were his other half, his soulmate and even asleep he could just tell. He sighed looking down and kissed Paige's hair. He would leave you to sleep. Knowing just how tired you got around this time of the pregnancy, the months finally catching up with you and it was almost like your body tried to hibernate readying itself for the big day.

He moved around the sofa sitting in his armchair with Paige curled up on his chest. She sniffled a little fingers twisting into his blazer. He rocked slowly calming his little girl just watching you on the sofa wincing every now and then as you shifted. Our back must be playing up....And your breasts to by the way you held them protectively cupping the now huge mounds in your hands trying to ease their tenderness even in slumber. He sighed and slowly began to plan the night, he had to get you alone to talk, if what Paige said was true then you would be down and most likely have a panic attack or break down.

He knew the final term of pregnancy takes its toll on you physically and emotionally  and with this woman's cruel jabs you were probably down with low self esteem so he had to do something. Talk you through whatever silly notions  had been put in your head and then look after you...He would dote on you and Paige. A smile graced his face when he put together a plan.

"Hey poppet...Do you want to help Daddy with something?" She looked up head still on his chest, he moved wiping away stubborn tears.

"Wiv what Daddy?" He smiled at her then cast you a look, you really looked tired, not that he was surprised you were over eight months pregnant and still had to run around after Paige and kal alone. He cursed himself he would have given anything to be here for you but he had to work, provide for his growing family. He knew you didn't have anything against him working and you would never be angry over the long months apart. In that respect he was blessed not once had you ever used his absence against him even in the most bitter of disagreements, they were rare but they happened...Usually you were right and it ended up with him making it up to you in some overly cliché romantic way where you'd forgive him just to end the cheese fest.

"Well poppet I think I should use tonight to pamper my ladies...Do you know where Mummy’s nail varnish is?" Paige perked up giving one final sniffle and sat up

."Mummy’s nail varnish?... Can I have painted nails to?" Henry nodded at her tucking some loose curls behind her ears.

"Yes baby you can have painted toes to if you like!....I think Daddy has to make it up to his two special girls for being late. So I'm going to pamper the two of you....I will run Mummy a bubble bath and help her wash then I will paint your and Mummy’s toes and make some hot chocolate and we can make doggy pile in the den and watch a film...Does that sound good?" She smiled brightly

"And foot rubs Daddy?" He sighed and nodded

"Absolutely poppet! Now come on first things first lets look for some treats!" She smiled as he walked with her to the kitchen...he had an idea of what to do, a favorite of yours that he doesn't think you've had in years...Apple pie toasty and it was something Paige could help with...If you have the apples which you probably did for Paige's snacks.

"Aha! Here we go!" He sat Paige on the counter top and pulled a bag of apples from the fridge drawer where they kept longer he pulled out a medium pan and set it bedside Paige.

"Could you put a little bit a water in that baby girl?" She looked a little confused as Henry moved around the kitchen pulling out a chopping board apple corer and knife.

"Daddy? Mummy says you shouldn't cook....’member the soup...Shouldn't we go wake her and...Ask?" Henry rolled his eyes still moving about tipping out the small bag of apples

"Well baby the soup was...A one off”

"Daddy tomato soup's meant to be red...not brown"

"Yes...I know tha-”

"Did you though?" Henry eyed his child...Wow she really got sassy he raised a brow at her and a staring contest ensued... Henry lost his daughter was a force to be reckoned with at nearly four!! Fuck it was beginning to frighten him.

"As I was saying Missy-we are allowed to make these...Mummy’s favorite hot snack I used to make these for her all the time when we just started dating...And now I'm going to teach you pumpkin we are making special apple pie pockets! Now quickly I need some water in there just a little bit." Paige hummed and shrugged crawling the few inches swinging her legs into the deep butler sink and placed the pot under the tap filling about and inch or so.

"That enough daddy?" Henry moved peeking over and smiled.

"That’s perfect poppet here no-No daddy will move it you will spill baby!" He quickly moved the pot by the chopping board and came back guiding Paige as she crawled over and plopped herself down between the pot and chopping board.

"Now baby girl can you put the sliced apple in the pot once daddy has done it?" She nodded enthusiastically watching as Henry made quick work of the apples

"Daddy whats that thing?" She asked she said pointing to the apple corer as she collected the apple slices and popped them in the water.

"This? Well here you want a go?...Hold it with daddy that’s it... see we put it over the stem of the apple and push really hard!...That’s it push push push there we go! Well done!" She smiled as she pulled back and the center of the apple came with it.

"And that’s how we get the core out now wait right there and daddy will quickly chop these up and we can start cooking!" She smiled kicking her feet as Henry made quick work of the apples Paige dutifully collected them she dropped a few slices here and there but Kal was quick to catch them mid fall making Paige giggle loudly and 'drop' a few more to Kal who was tap dancing for more.

"Hey poppet no more for Kal or you wont have any filling in yours, now we add sugar and Cinnamon" she smiled as Henry held out a table spook letting her add the dry ingredients before getting her down.

"Right now poppet go get Mummy’s nail varnishes...and the bottle of baby lotion...The pink bottle by the sink okay? can you do that for daddy?" she nodded and ran off making him call out for her to slow down. he moved the pot to the hob turning it on a low heat before moving to prepare the living room.

It took little sneaking but Henry smiled, he had gone all across the house with Paige's help collecting your favorite blankets and pillows piling them in the den where you had a larger tv with surround sound and got a film ready Tangled was decided for tonight....It was one of Paige's but he knew you liked it to and besides it was more about having one huge family cuddle then watching the film.

Finally Henry left the den walking to the back of the sofa to look at you still asleep good you looked like you needed it, he heard Paige’s foot steps quickly running out of the kitchen slapping the tiled floor

"Daddy? Daddy the apples!" oh fuck he quickly turned running to the kitchen collecting Paige by one arm hoisting her to his hip as he did they were just about to overflow he quickly slid it off the heat they must be ready by now.

"whoa! thank you poppet that could have been our snacks gone!" she peeked over the pot from on Henry's hip

"What do we do now Daddy?" he smiled and kissed her head

"To the apples or for the night?...Well the apples now have to cool so i am going to go draw a bubble bath and give you a bath and get your hair done then give mummy a bath to! then after we are going to sit and watch a flim while Daddy paints your nails and makes the toasties!" Paige smiled giggling looking forward to the night.

It didn't take long to draw the bath and wash Paige, she loved when Henry washed her hair nearly falling asleep as he spent al long as he could massaging her scalp, he actually had a hell of a job supporting her by the back of the neck as she lolled back and forth slipping around in the large tub. But he love this it was something he enjoyed since first bringing her home before long Paige was dry and wrapped up in her new fluffy onesie half asleep and playing in her room. Henry had cut up some fruit snacks and a babybell leaving Kal and Paige in her room to play with the promise of collecting her for movie night! Finally it came to you he took a moment to admire you then crouched next to you, he had covered you with a throw earlier. And thats how you woke.

You blinked bleary eyed feeling something was off and frowned. Then gasped quickly sitting up readying to hit and kick out at the man in front of you. Just as you did you blinked and realized it was your husband before you.

"Henry?! You-when did you? Oh god how long have I been asleep!?" You quickly moved to get up looking around frantically for Paige.  You winced holding your back. Fuck it hurt, not even just and ache it was a throbbing pull screaming with every movement.

Henry stood and moved his arms around you holding you still rubbing his heavy palms across your back soothing the ache. He moved closer pressing his face into your neck kissing you lightly then moved to whisper in your ear then tugged you close rocking slowly with you still massaging your tense back. He frowned he could feel the knots and hard muscles tensing and straining below his palms. A wave of guilt passed over him ,he should have been here! to help ease your pain! It was him who insisted on a second child and he felt as though he just abandoned you during the long months of uncomfortable pregnancy just to show up at the end and 'claim his prize' like a dead beat dad. Henry took a deep breath trying to push aside his guilt tonight was for you and Paige.

"Paige is fine, she's had her bath and is upstairs playing in her room with kal ready for bed, and you my absolute stunner of a wife have your own bath waiting~" you blinked as he pulled away and scooped you up with ease, he noticed to tense and struggle.

"No Henry put me down! I’m too big!" The words were out before you could stop them he stood still, hands gripping you tighter not willing to let you go.

"Babe even if you was pregnant with triplets, quintuplets! You my love will never ever be to big for a carry! Now come on, we are going to have a nice long chat about these new found thoughts whilst your in the bath!" You whined at the tone he sounded serious his deep voice almost scary. You cringed still trying to ease your weight off of him but he made quick work of scaling the stairs.

Once in the bathroom you were quickly deposited on the counter and Henry moved shutting the door then turned on you quickly drawing you into a deep needy kiss his tongue forcing his taste on your tongue as his hands roamed your swollen stomach caressing your unborn child then moved higher dragging your tshirt up over your stomach sighing when his hot palm met the skin of your stomach and he moved trailing kisses down the side of your neck leaving licks and nips along the way.

"H-Henry!...Hen-No stop we-you don't have to!". You pulled away gasping and whining trying to fight back the tears in your eyes so he wouldn't see just how far your self esteem had plummeted. He pulled back but you wouldn't meet his eyes and tried to shimmy off the counter, trying to use your huge stomach to push him back to slide own to your feet. He was having none of it you pressed forward and so did he meeting you in the middle, his strength jolted your knees apart and he stood between them and then closed them around his hips. You took a breath cringing knowing he must feel the extra padding on your soft thighs.

You twitched trying to pull back, to widen your legs so he wouldn't feel how fat you'd got but his huge hands held the outside of your legs keeping them clamped around him.

"I know I don't have to...But I want to! My fucking perfect woman! You are gorgeous how could I not want you?!" You squinted shaking your head at him..How? How could he? This was just that he felt obligated to kiss you and caress you in your state! He sighed and moved a hand to cup your chin.

"Love...Whatever she said is wrong...Yes I know...I face timed you and Paige answered you were asleep...I was hiding down the side of the house had a whole cheesy romeo and Juliet ensemble planned ...To beg for my queens forgiveness for being so late home...She told me everything." You sighed shaking your head that little girl really was to smart for her own good!

"H-henry you can't-I'm fat look at me?! I-I'm fat and hairy and just UGH! And I've got a shit load of new stretch marks and I...I've gained a lot of extra weight and my boobs are all veiny and ugly please stop lying to me- I know what your looking at! I see this fucking thing in the mirror each day!" Henry tugged your tshirt completely off grabbing our hips and dragged you forward forcing his erection to grind against you and dragged his teeth across your neck,  you jumped as he growled low into the flesh trapped in his jaws latching his hot mouth onto the throbbing vein below before sucking harshly, locking his teeth into the sensitive flesh. You whined trying to pull away he moved closer determined to devoure you, wanting to leave his mark across your skin he parted with soothing licks before groaning pleased with the dark mark forming on the sweet skin.

"GOOD! then you know how gorgeous and sexy and soft and glowing and scrumptious you look! My god woman your fucking perfection! A goddess who somehow I managed to trick into marrying me....Fuck your pregnant and healthy and sexy and mine! Mine!. My lover, best friend, soulmate ,better half .Mother to my children and most of all my incredibly beautiful wife! God if only you knew how fucking stunning you was! I'm trying so hard not to fuck you right now! if I didn't think it would hurt our son I'd already be in your fucking tight little cunt!" You flushed at his words each chipping away at the cold lead ball in your chest.

"Just what happened anyway? what has this fucking bitch said?" you gasped it was rare for Henry to swear well since Paige anyway.

"Henry it doesn't-" you shook your head trying to turn away from him but he was faster cupping. Both sides of your face drawing your gaze back to him he leaned in kissing you tenderly before pulling back resting his forehead to yours. His eyes ablaze, a swirling mix of anger ,love, desire but mostly worry.  He was worried for you anxious and rearing to go ready to fight away all your fears and doubts.

"Don't give me that shit woman! your sitting here shying away from me! the last time you did that was on our first night together! what ever happened has got to you, got to Paige and I'm not going to fucking stand here and let it eat away at you! Now tell me what happened...I can't fix it if I don't know love" you wavered he was right but ...Was retelling what happened really going to help? or would he just get angry? You hated to admit it but you found this pregnancy hard, things were different and you'd put on a few more pounds then you had with Paige and it was noticeable. you took a deep breath will he think your stupid? over reacting? you sighed recounting just this had all started.

You were self conscious and had managed to ignore it until...Yes until the woman at the nursery made a few comments a new woman-Abbey just enrolled her gremlin....and it was a gremlin! a nasty little girl Patty the same age as Paige who has already made her self the terror of the group being sent home three times in her first week for being mean and fighting the typical scratching biting toddler but more she was nearly four years old and already a bully but it wasn't really her fault she was just spoilt. Lets just say if Paige ever spoke to you the way this child spoke to her mother she'd be on the naughty step with a sore ass. But this woman was all smiles at first not really your cup of tea but you played nice being polite and friendly, you was an adult...Then she found out who you was. Paige had come around to the idea that her dad was superman after seeing him on some billboards and the tv adverts and suddenly just like that she switched sides and was team superman much to Henry's joy!

But it had caused a problem at the preschool. It was show and tell and Paige had went in wearing her supergirl tshirt and took a magazine with a double page spread on Henry's new film and told everyone that her daddy was superman, all of the children who had seen Henry at the nursery had gotten excited. The new girl had upset her calling her a liar and tore the book shouting the words 'He isn't really your daddy!'. That had really stuck with Paige and she had come out bawling her eyes out asking who her daddy was. You were fucking livid when her teacher came over and explained. Enter the little gremlins mother slinking up with a smirk.

"I'm sorry about Patty but she has a thing about liars she can't help herself" you blinked not believing what this bitch just said. You laughed and her face dropped.

"Excuse me?...My daughter isn't lying... That’s her father" she laughed condescending smoothing her brats pigtails.

"Yes I'm sure you've told her that! We single mothers have to tell them something about their daddies who skipped out on them, but superman is to far don't you think? Shes made a fool of herself in front of the class and will be teased for lying" you looked to Micah’s mother Fran who you were now close with and gaped. Fran shrugged

"I'm not a single mother" the woman snorted

"Well there’s no ring~"

"I’m pregnant it doesn't fit at the moment but I'm wearing it here" she had jeered at you as you pointed to the ring dangling from your necklace.

"Sorry if I don’t buy that...There’s nothing to be ashamed of I’m a single mother to but really lying to your own daughter very bad parenting don't you think?" You could have floored this cunt! You were seriously contemplating it. Fran stepped in to save the day...well save the woman from bitch slap galore!

"She's not a single mother and that is her husband...And I think as a new comer you should calm yourself down!a you and your daughter have been nothing but rude and out of line!" the woman scoffed at her then looked around.

"Excuse me! We have been nothing but fucking pleasant to you stuck up lot of ass wipes! My baby is a strong willed child and will grow up to be a strong minded self made women! and I apologize if I don't believe that a man like that would look twice at this fatty seriously pregnancy isn't a reason to let yourself go! Honestly why would anyone bother with her and take on someone else's kid...She really has you fooled?" Fran gasped

"Not fooled! We know because he is always here picking up Paige... and she isn't fat shes pregnant with his second! Maybe you should go and do some fucking homework before coming here and running your mouth! And teach your brat some manners whilst your at it!"

And that was all it took, the nasty woman had gone online and found photos and interviews, mainly one recent Ellen DeGeneres show that Paige gate crashed and from then on the woman had a grudge against you. Apparently her husband left her and signed away his parental rights away leaving her a bitter single mother and she had tried making friends with you because you never showed up with a man and had no ring leaving her to think you were a man hating single pringle yourself!. Not fucking likely! She became nasty and over the last two months her snide comments had chipped away at you. You knew it was some stupid playground bullshit, just a woman who never grew out of secondary school drama! But it had got to you.

Henry brought you out of your thoughts, you'd played the scenario over and over sometimes thinking of ways you could have changed the outcome, other times you were thinking of snippy comebacks and insults. Everything was to late though.

"Please love?...I know it has something to do with the new little girl at preschool, Paige has already asked me if I’m her real Father or not...So know what ever has happened was big" you looked at him shocked would he think you said something? put that in her head you panicked grabbing his hands praying he would listen before popping off at you.

"H-Henry I swear I didn't say anything! she- Abbey and her daughter have just had it in for us! Paige she took in a magazine- a superman vs batman ad....She was showing you off to her class she was so happy so so excited to let everyone know that you were superman!" Henry nodded now knowing that he was getting the full story.

"Yes I remember you saying she was doing that- but what happened? how did that turn into all this?" you swallowed recounting the first incident.

"Patty-The new girl is a bully-”

"Yes Paige said she kicks and scratches...Being sent home to?"

"Yeah shes a nasty little girl...Well Patty has never seen you before at nursery so..She called Paige a liar and got into two and eight with her...She said you wasn't her real Daddy...Then after school Miss Bou had to have a word with Abbey about Patty's behavior...Abbey took it wrong and accused me of lying to Paige about her Father and called me a bunch of names, Fran stepped in and snapped at her...Apparently cos I didn't have my ring on my finger Abbey though I was a single mother like her and got angry when-"

"When it turns out your not and are married to me?" you nodded cringing as you replayed the first incident in your head.

"Yeah...She continued telling Patty that Paige doesn't have a daddy and obviously kids talk..Paige got so upset I did sit her down and talk with her but it was...She needed to hear it from you I think" Henry nodded lips in a firm line

"Well she has, I will sit her down and have a more in depth talk......I'm fucking livid though...Not at you and don't you think that for a second, I'm angry that Paige is already dealing with this shit! and that you had to deal with it alone...I should have been here for you-"

"NO! no don't do that Henry it wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference...This? I would have brushed it off if it hadn't been the pregnancy hormones...But I'm fine your fine we are all okay-" Henry looked down and  pressed his hands to your stomach.

"Shh...I know...I know love I just wish you had told me! But you didn't want to worry me...I can understand that but I’m home now and tomorrow I will take care of it! But for now lets just relax and have a nice calm night hmm?" You took a deep breath feeling the tears well nodding.

You sighed looking down shit...your tits had fucking leaked again! That was the last straw, the flood gates opened you leaned to catch your face in your palms but Henry was quicker moving forward slipping his shoulder below your head letting you cry. "Oh honey whats wrong? Please we are fine, its okay whats? Oh-" you whined moving your hands to your boobs trying to hide the milk that was dripping adding to the wet patch on your shitty worn maternity bra.

"They- they wont stop oh god you must think this is gross!" Henry pulled back tutting shaking his head with a grin.

"Gross? The fact that your getting ready to feed our child? No love" he moved to unclip your bra taking it off he moved quickly to support your huge heavy breasts. You hissed as your breasts moved they were full and aching. Henry watched fascinated as your nipples leaked the tiny drops."Their sore huh?" You nodded whining as he lightly ran the pads of his thumbs over the nipples plucking them lightly encouraging them to release more making you weep in embarrassment.

"Well lets go time for a bath!"

Henry was still angry, at this woman for getting to you, at you for letting her words get to you but mostly he was angry at himself for not being here for his wife!. He made vows better or for worse! He had broke them plain and simple admittedly he had been working but you had needed him and he wasn't here he had been none the wiser. He hadn't been there to help you take care of yourself when you struggled to and that would eat away at him for a long time. But he had to push that aside you were still fragile your crying began to pick up again though whether it was from pain shame sadness or relief he couldn't tell. You cried into him not the pretty movie star pretty tears, the full on frustrated painful broken sobs that mad your face ache!

"I'm sor-rry I just..It's hard!...I-I know I'm b-bigger than last time...And then she said a-all those things and Paige was u-up-set and she started w-worrying...Then I c-could-dnt shave and the stretch ma-marks got worse and my back hurt so-o I stopped running and-and now I'm fat and ugly and I want this baby out! It hurts he is so heavy and I-I can't sleep or move or do anything! I just sit and eat! And you w-wont want me anymore! I c-can't do this any-anymore! And wh-when you finally come ho-home I’m fucking squirting milk all over you!" You broke down explaining through heartbreaking sobs and he just held you tight rubbing your back in slow circles.

"Don't be silly my love! Of course I want you! I love you! And I'm here now to fix everything I promise... come on my beautiful wife I hate seeing you like this! And don't worry about the milk it happens! I don't mind love shh shh....Come on come here... Here lets get you in here, have a nice long soak off with all this" he moved around you skillfully removing your leggings leaving butterfly kisses across your skin making you smile

"Please y/n I love you don't ever ever question that...you are everything to me! You complete me and have given me an incredible little girl a beautiful home and now this... A little boy of my own, you make each day worth waking up for, you have brightened up my whole life! And gave me my dream of having a family...I love you and nothing will ever change that, don't let some woman s jealousy hang over you" you smiled sheepishly his sweet words ,meant so much to you his sincerity and conviction was enough to snap you out of your funk.

"Oh? Is that a smile? Oh I think it is~ oh my! Don’t tell me that Henry struck again with his boyish charm?" You giggled at him but then without wasting time he hoisted you into the steaming water...you sighed and cringed as you leaned back expecting Henry to leave but he didn't.

Instead he moved to the side collecting your razor and shaving cream placing them on the counter by the sink then moved dipping a flannel into the hot water then wrung it out placing it on your aching breasts you sighed as the milk flowed free faster releasing the pressure.

"Thank you love that’s better already, I will call you to help me out-Henry? what are you-" you were confused when he turned around grabbing a few more things he peeked over his shoulder and wriggled his eyebrows at you

"Shh love~" he scolded then returned with a sugar honey bodyscrub and exfoliating mittens you chuckled as he snapped on the bright pink cheap mittens

"Now my love if you would just bend over and take a deep breath~" you laughed at him splashing some water at him.

"Henry?! you tit! don't make me laugh it hurts my back!" He rolled his eyes and freezes before quickly shrugging off his blazer and shirt staying there topless.

"Naked man servant enough for tonight?...Seeing as I probably shouldn't fuck you senseless~" You smiled shyly and peeked down at him licking your lips.

"Not sure your not naked yet" he smirked

"You naughty little minx!" he gasped before and made a show of slowly undoing his belt giving a seductive hip shimmy making you laugh out loud Henry trying to give a strip tease in bright pink exfoliating gloves was priceless. You flushed when finally he did a arms and legs spread tada! motion As he dropped his boxers and did a comical spin poseing his 'guns' for you like some fucking cheesy swimsuit model.

"Oh my god! Henry!?" He looked down and shrugged seeing his cock standing up right at the sight of you.

"What? Told you you were sexy I can't help it? I'm like a dog with a bone...Or should I say man with a boner?" You snorted at him falling into peels of laughter slipping lower into the water. He moved closer kneeling next to the tub and leaned over following your face peppering you with kisses you squirmed still giggling he just lowered his hands into the tub and held the back of your head holding you still sucking on your neck lathering you with soothing licks from his hot tongue.

"God I love you! your perfect and leave this woman to me~ I will set her straight myself, prove to everyone just how much I fucking crave you my perfect little wife!" you whined at him as he pressed froward capturing your lips in a heated kiss devouring you wholey making you finally melt into him, he smiled feeling you relax into his kiss feeling more relived now.

He pulled back and smirked as you blushed a dark red and gave him another chaste kiss feeling very silly abut your fears.

"Thank you love...I'm sorry I should have spoken to you earlier but ...I didn't want you to rush home and...Your work is important and I don't want to....You know" he nodded pressing his forehead to yours looking straight into your eyes.

"Zack would have understood that you needed me...but enough of that lets get you all clean and comfy! Paige and I have a nice night planned for the five of us" he said rubbing your bump that was peeking out of the water.

You smiled at him nodding and going to reach for the honey bodyscrub but Henry batted you away collecting it on his own glove covered palm and rubbed it through coating his hands then dipped a hand below the water and tugged your leg out of the tub to rest on the rim. You squeaked as the movement made you lean back against the slanted tub, you watched with weary eyes as he pressed small sweet kisses on your embarrassingly hair leg making you squirm but the man had a tight grip on your ankle.

He moved quickly rubbing the scrub in slow deep circles on your tense calf you moaned as he pressed the knots out of your skin moving in an unhurried manor up over your knee making you giggle as he ran his fingers on the underneath. He worked up your leg making you relax and close your eyes sighing. His motions were hard and soothing like a deep tissue massage then he lowered your leg rinsing it in the warm water and pulled your other leg out repeating the same process spoiling you, lavishing you with soft kisses and praising you whispering how sorry he was for not being here and how he was going to make this all up to you. finally both legs were washed and felt like jelly, he moved hissing as he seated his bare ass on the side of the tub reaching over he collected your razor and shaving cream and made quick work of collecting your leg carefully lathering it in the foam then began to drag the razor across you.

You didn't flinch or protest, you were thank full for it you needed a shave but hadn't really been able to reach, you'd been desperate enough even considering asking Paige but.....No. You loved when he did this...There was something strangely romantic in him taking care of you like this, just knowing that he didn't find your body gross sent little flutters in your chest. You watched silently enjoying the attention as he dragged the blade across your skin in long swipes concentrating on each drag of the blade then flicked it in the water until finally your leg was less werewolf more human.

"Woohoo look no cuts! lets go two for two shall we?" He lowered your leg back into the water with one parting open mouthed kiss on your bent knee making you giggle as he bit at it softly licking the now clean soft flesh. Sure enough he was quick to shave your other leg, avoiding cutting you which made him very proud of himself then he quickly pulled you down the length of the tub and began a soothing full body wash that just ended up being a massage. You both laughed as your son kicked out as his fathers hands each time he rubbed across the bump and soon it was a game, your baby trying to catch Henry with a kick. Finally though you were finished or you thought you was Henry was adamant about washing your hair you gave in dipping your hair into the water and lying back letting him scrub away the tension in your scalp using the lavender shampoo to help with the relaxing theme of the night. by the time you were squeaky clean you were half asleep his hands were heaven sent; like the rest of the man.

You felt the best you had in months not grotty, hairy and there was no pain anywhere just calm and relaxed so much so that you couldn't really move.

"You jumping in love?" you said over a yawn he shook his head slipping on his boxers you noticed that his erection was slowly going down. You were to far along and 'adult' time could start the labor...And as much as you couldn't wait for your baby boy to be here you wasn't going to risk anything, as far as you were concerned he could stay in your belly as long as he wanted just so long as he was a healthy baby on arrival.

Henry laughed as he carried you to your bed room patting you dry before wrangling you into your most comfortable fussy pajamas. you smiled at him lounging on the bed as he through on a t-shirt and bottoms of his own then helped you up knocking on Paige's room as you both walked past to go downstairs.

"Come on poppet! time for movie night!...Yes you to kal!" you smiled as Paige ran up to you hugging you tight and kissing your bump

"Are you better mummy?" you nodded to her

"Yes baby much better now...Daddy has taken care of me...But whats this about movie night? are we having snacks?"Paige smiled holding your hand and leaned back on her heels swinging happily.

"We-erm we got the apples!" Henry shushed her and quickly

"shh! that’s a surprise Paige-y" she quickly giggled as Henry hook an arm around her tummy picking her up and tickling her as he carried her down the stairs. You couldn't help the wide grin across your face. Who'd of thought just having a soothing bath and being taken care of by your man you'd snap out of your low mood. You followed as Henry directed you both into the den that was ready for a family movie night blankets and pillows galore almost like a huge slumber party. With in moments you and Paige were being treated to foot massages.

It was more comical then anything as Paige had never had a foot rub before and she was ticklish ,she caught Henry unawares and nearly took out his front teeth with a swift uncontrollable kick. He had retorted by quickly twisted around sitting on her legs and mercilessly tickled her feet until she was screaming and laughing you joined in blowing raspberries on her neck being careful of flailing limbs. She soon began whining and crying through her giggles and you both let up on her. she laid down picking through your nail varnish colours still wanting her her toes painted even thought she didn't want anyone to touch her feet...Which was going to be easy.

Henry flipped on the dvd to keep Paige occupied whilst  you on the other hand had the task of painting the giggling child's toenails a bright aqua blue with tiny metallic pieces. Thankfully though years of painting your own nails meant you had it done in under five minuets.

"Now Paige be careful they won't be dry until the end of the film okay poppet?" She nodded smiling wriggling her little toes. With Paige finally settled you could lay back and relax. Henry got to work digging his skilled fingers into the soles of your feet rubbing away months of tension you moaned and flopped back into the mountain of pillows this was heaven you could get used to this. Henry watched the tv with Paige still working on the soles of your feet adding more baby lotion every now and then just as you were falling back to sleep Paige piped up she was hungry yawning she scratched her head and crawled onto your legs moving to press the side of her face on your belly wiping her eyes after her bath and tickles she was a very tired little nugget.

"Daddy...Daddy I'm hungry when can we have apples?" Henry smiled at her leaning over to kiss her head

"I will got do it now....You wanna stay here with Mummy?" she looked drowsely from him to you and nodded letting her head fall again onto your tummy. You smiled and ran your fingers through her hair, once Henry left Kal was quick to steal his warm spot lying with his spine against your legs head resting on your crossed feet. you moved bundling up Paige putting a pillow under her hips so she wasn't so twisted up and watched the tv. after some cursing and crashes and one broken plate later Henry returned holding the three plates high so you couldn't see what he had made.

"Paige? Paige come on snack time nugget" at the word snack the toddler was up and at'em hands held out high for food. You giggled then gasped when you saw what he had been slaving away over.

"OH?! Henry I-you haven't done these for years!" he smiled smugly.

"I know...Paige helped me so they might be sweeter this time...she added to much cinnamon so we had to add more sugar to didn't we nugget?" she hummed not really listening picking up the sugar sprinkled toasty to take a big bite. you went to stop her not wanting her to burn her mouth but Henry stopped you.

"Love, its cool I did hers first and opened it to let out the steam...That nice poppet?" she grinned nodding swallowing her mouthful.

"I like it daddy...like 'donalds apple pie...Mummy can Daddy cook now...Daddy does sweets!" you chuckled "We will see he might have to when the baby is here" she smiled cutely then looked to the tv again munching on her toasty

"Henry...What did you mean? Earlier? about Abbey?" he just grinned and winked

"Like I said babe leave it with me...I won't be nasty I promise...I just gonna set her straight, tell her if it carries on I’m getting the police involved”

"The police-Henry no-” you began to protest but he held up his hand a stern look

"Its harassment! I’m not letting her get away with it....look I'm just gonna tell her to stay away if she doesn't then I'm taking things further...Just don't worry I'm here now trust me?" you gulped you knew there wasn't really anything you could do but it unnerved you he must have been so angry when Paige told him.

"I do...I just I don't want anything to get worse remember she will still be here when your away" he rolled his eyes and quickly moved in giving you a kiss on your cheek

"Babe with the way her kids going I doubt she will be here by the end of term" you sighed and nodded you couldn't argue that then dropped the topic and snuggled back in with kal between you feeding the bear some apple he had put at the side of his plate.

You quickly found yourself stretched out on the floor, Henry beside you with Paige laying across the both of you. She had eaten her toasty and crawled over you and flopped, facing the tv nibbling the tip of her thumb head on Henry's chest, tummy over kal and legs sprawled out over your lap. It was when you heard her soft snores you both decided it was time for bed,  Henry scooped up and tucked her in at you went to bed you where just drifting to sleep when Henry snuggled up behind you holding you tightly littering kisses to the back of your neck.

"I really do love you y/n I hope you know that" you hummed turning your head to him blinking tiredly.

"Yes I know...I love you to it...All this was just hormones I'm a weepy pregnant woman about to pop...So you gotta bare with me okay?" He smiled kissing your cheek  sweetly.

"A tired pregnant woman more like come on sleep we both need it love" and that’s what you did getting the best nights sleep in a long time.

The next morning you awoke to Henry placing a hot cup of coffee and then moving to your wardrobe pulling out your favorite knit jumper and maternity leggings.

"Come on love we have half an hour!" You sat up surprised to find no backache at all making you smile then you registered what he had said and scrambled throwing your legs over the side of the bed.

"What?! Oh fuck! Paige! is she up? Shit-" Henry moved handing you your coffee

"She is up and ready...Well she wants plaits and I can't I’m all thumbs so you have todo her hair but she is dressed fed and watered, her lunch is done and her bag ready!" You smiled at him

"Well look at you a domesticated kryptonian, you house trained to?~" he flushed and moved to tickle you stopping when you held up the steaming coffee

"Yeah yeah just you wait~.Well I'm going to go make sure Paige is playing nicely see you in fifteen? " you smiled nodding to him.

By the time you came downstairs you had about ten minuets to get going. Henry was busying himself around the house, just doing a general tidy up collecting Paige's toys that had been strewn across the kitchen and living room. You took a second to appreciate him, he had been so sweet only being home for..well not even a day and he had already brought the house back into order, he had taken care of you and Paige spoilt the both of you eased your silly fears and had your daughter ready for school before you were even out of bed...The man needs a medal...Or blowy or two now that you can do!

"Mummy! Mummy can I have braids? Daddy tried he can't he pulls and knots it!" You chuckled when she ran up to you holding her little box pf hair clips and ties. You nodded seeing Henry attempt being a loose....Is that a braid? Honestly your not sure what to call it but it was scruffy and bad and it would be a god send if you could get it out! you giggled and looked to a red faced Henry who had folded his arms watching embarrassed at the state he had left his little pumpkins hair in.

"What? I-I tried okay?"

"That you did and it was a valiant attempt...But seriously you need to get your ass on youtube love~" You moved quickly untangling the...what ever it was you had to use a lot of de tangling spritz but finally Paige had two neat braids and soon you were all out the door.

It wasn't until half way to the playschool Henry had remembered he had to pop to the shop something about getting bacon and more milk. You nodded to him, as he gave you kals lead saying he would meet up with you at the school. You and Paige continued to the school waiting t the gates with Fran and Micah.

"She ain't her yet then?" You asked Fran nodded

"Yeah, Patty is already on one, fucking little heathen just bit Rose look"

"Mummy whats a heathen?"you gave Tran a look giggling out of the side of her mouth you looked and sure enough Rose was screaming holding her cheek crying into her mothers legs as her mother was screaming at Abbey who was coddling Patty shouting at everyone who would listen that patty had a right to stick up for herself. You rolled your eyes at the scene this child was just feral! And the mother no better."Nothing baby...Why don't you go see? Rose look shes sad" she nodded and ran off into the playground pulling rose away from her mother with Micah and a few of the other kids You shushed Kal as he barked at all the excitement you knew he wanted to go see the crying little girl he was attached to these kids, as far as the bear was concerned they were all his!.

Once Paige was out of ear shot Fran spoke up.

"Shes only here because they were kicked out of magpies and dee dee's" you looked to Fran what? She nodded to them subtly.

"Who? Patty?"

"Yeah...Abbey came in to the surgery, wanting to be tested for adhd...Shes convinced thats the problem apparently Patty was kicked out of magpies for fighting and then dee dee's...The kid needed stitches she bit a chunk out of his thigh...She was supposed to go to one of those playschools for the challenging children, you know? with the anger management and quiet times...Got to come here though cos Abbey said its adhd but obviously we cant test for it until shes older she was told to get Patty to counselling but refused....Its not though, I've see adhd and that is just a badly behaved little girl who in my opinion needs a smacked ass and a time out." You agreed laughing just as Abbey came strutting past with Patty...looks like she's being sent home again.

"Don’t you fucking judge me whore! And what have I said about that fucking mutt! Keep it away from the school or I will have it put down!-"

"OH NO YOU FUCKING WONT!" oh fuck she didn't...Not infront of Henry You froze as Henry shouted loud and clear, the playground got silent. Noone had ever heard Henry raise his voice even the children stopped to stare whispering about Superman.Paige held onto Rose

"I-its okay daddy isn’t mad at us...I think?" As far as Henry was concerned it was bad enough to upset you and Paige but threatening Kal's life fuck no!

Abbey faltered taking a step back at the frightening scowl on his face, in one hand he had a bag of shopping the other was a small bouquet of flowers. Your heart melted a little already knowing the lillys; your favorite flowers were for you. But you shook your head moving to him as he squared up to Abbey, he just wedged himself between you and the other woman shushing Kal. who was yipping anxiously about you both.

"So your Abbey and Patty? Well I'd like a word with you if you don't mind..." his voice was a growl you'd never herd before he definetly channeling some inner dark fucking protective alpha shit. I mean fuck he could so play a villain?  where was your soft boy?.

"Mummy? Why is superman here...Is he really Paiges daddy-"

"Oh hush Patty of course he isnt-"

"Thats what I wanted to talk about" she looked to Henry again and stuttered

"W-what I-" You gulped as he gained on you both Kal was still pulling to go see the upset toddler...he was a nanny dog.

"I’m warning you this once.Stay away from my family, I mean it you've caused enough upset and I'm home now and noone...And I mean noone fucking upsets my wife and daughter! She might take it but I'm not. You've upset my heavily pregnant wife ,confused my daughter and now I hear you threatening my dog? You know what you've done is slander...Causing serious stress to a pregnant woman can been seen as intent to harm her and MY baby and is also harassment...I'm giving you this one chance you and your daughter stay away or I will come down on you like a tonne of bricks and have you in court before you know it" your heart fluttered as Henry came to a stop beside you.

"W-what I haven't done anything! Neither has Patty! We havent done anything! I don't know what your fucking wife has said but-"

"You've been running your mouth, I just heard it myself like I said I will go to the courts and get the police involved, its harassment, intent to harm and slander,  which being in the public eye we take very seriously, if I hear any more about it I will be on to my lawyers quicker then you would believe. I'v said my piece. Stay away from my family." He turned his back on her and smiled down at you you glanced between him and her.

“Henry- what are-?” he placed his hand on your arm soothing you

"No-Love I'm sorry I told you...I'm not putting up with it...I will look into injunctions today" that caught the womans attention and she flipped her lid.

"INJUNCTIONS! HOW WILL THAT WORK PATTY GOES TO THE SAME SCHOOL!? WHAT YOU THINK I WILL TAKE MY DAUGHTER OUT?" Henry looked over his shoulder at the woman.

"No honestly I think she will be excluded by that point...Biting and attacking the other kids? I will tell you one thing though Patty ever attacks Paige I will personally see to you both being thrown out on your ass! All these kids here have a right to be safe in school and by law the staff here have a right to Exclude any children who harm the other kids." Abbey huffed eyes blazing

"You think you can do that-"

"Not alone but we do have a pta...One vote and we can demand Patty's removal from the class for the safety and well being of the other children " she screamed angry and turned  screeched and walked of dragging Patty along behinde her.

"B-but Mummy you said he wasn't her daddy! You said-"

"Oh will you shut up! You've caused enough trouble for one day Patricia!" Henry smirked after the woman and turned to you handing you the small bouquet of flowers.

"And these are for you my love~" you blushed sniffing them softly thanking him you felt giddy. Suddenly before you could say anything the other kids all gathered round each taking turns giving Kal his morning cuddles then asking Henry questions about being superman squealing when he played along and admitted it but made them promise to keep it a secret. You chuckled as he answered them each the the best of his ability getting stumped a few times dodging a few bullets here and there. It wasn't long before Miss Bou had to round up the kids for class and you were on your way home after getting a few 'well done' comments from some of the other mothers.

"Soo babe....Me thinks you deserve a little reward for all your hard work..."

"Hard work? babe I just-"you rolled your eyes hooking an arm around his leaning against him breathing him in.

"yes hard work...Putting me straight last night looking after me and Paige, coffee in bed and you tidied the house and now this...Sorting out the vindictive woman and her kid- which by the way was a complete turn on watching you go all alpha scary daddy!UGH fuck my panties are wet" he took a deep breath willing himself to calm down.

"Ugh woman don't even go there you know we can't-" you kissed his shoulder and interrupted him.

"Ah ah~ no your right we can't have full on sex...But there are other ways for me to worship my husband~" he stopped and blinked confused then his face lit up

"what do you OH Fuck!...Am I getting a blowy?" You hummed pretending to think about it.

"Well No" his face dropped and he whined his hopes shattered

"Then what-" you smiled cheekily up at him

"Think Daddy earned more then one blowy Baby~" his face lit up like Christmas and slung his arm around your shoulder holding you tight.

"Oh fuck yes! Come on hurry up~ quickly Kal mush! pull mummy faster! come on woman get a waddle on I need to be in your mouth like fucking yesterday!" You giggled as he ushered you home faster eager to have his well earned reward you laughed knowing that today was going to be a good day.

[ranishoo]

7 for leslie and devlon do it you wont

oh fuck yeah

7. First words vs last words

First words:

Leslie felt sore. She felt hot. The ground was shifting around her. Her eyes were closed, yet light still poured in, tinting her vision red. Until it went dark again. But she was still awake, wasn't she? She tried to open her eyes, but they were far too heavy.

Fingers pressed against her neck and the weight she previously felt was gone in an instant, replaced by pure adrenaline. She shot upright with a yelp, her forehead meeting something solid that sent her back down to the ground, groaning and clutching her head. And someone else was groaning too.

Leslie opened her eyes, having to rub and blink them many times to fight the bright sunlight and a strange irritation, to find herself looking at a man sitting not too far from her. He was tall, lean but well-built, with dark skin and long dark hair, with what looked to be a side shave, or maybe a long mohawk? He too was rubbing a hand on his forehead.

"Oh god," Leslie began, "did I hit you? I-" She stopped, noticing for the first time where she was. What she was sitting on. What she had rubbed out of her eyes. Sand.

Sand?

All around her was pits of sand, dry patches of dirt and dead brush, and what might be the oldest looking ruins she'd ever seen. What the fuck? She'd just been in the Felsan foothills, surrounded by trees and rocks; what was she doing here? What was going on, and who was that man?

Leslie turned her attention back to the stranger, only to notice he had recovered and stood up, walking back over to her. He said something to her, but she couldn't make out what. She gave him a confused look, and he paused for a moment before repeating himself. Was he speaking Kett? Some of the words sounded familiar, but she couldn't fully comprehend their meaning.

The man scratched his head for a moment, and Leslie noticed two large fangs protruding from his lips. A vampire? No, he was in broad daylight, that would be stupid. Maybe a galik, then? She couldn't see his eyes, the slitted draconic pupils usually a dead giveaway, so she couldn't tell for sure.

"Ah..." the man started, his tenor voice hesitant and slow. "You... alright?"

So he knew a bit of Domian. It didn't seem like much, but at least it was something. Leslie still hoped he'd been speaking Kett before, and that she just hadn't understood through his accent; she at least knew a few phrases and random words in the language, so even if he barely knew Domian she might be able to ask him some questions.

The man cleared his throat.

"Oh! Um, yes? Sort of? Uh... sorry, where am I?" She attempted to stand, but her legs protested with possibly the worst cramps she'd ever felt, and she promptly landed back on the sand, writhing in pain.

Her eyes pinched shut, Leslie heard the man frantically calling in his language as he rushed toward her. Then in Domian, "Alright? Alright?"

It took her a moment to collect herself, but she remembered to stretch out her legs and gritted her teeth, working the cramp out. "I... yeah, yeah I am." Still on the ground, she held out a hand to shake his and gave him a pained smile. "I'm Leslie."

He stared at her for a moment, seemingly baffled. Then, slowly, he took her hand and cautiously helped her to her feet. Alright, not what she'd intended, but that was fine. She looked up at him, meeting his bright golden eyes partially obscured by the hair he had yet to brush out of the way. Slitted, just like a dragon.

"I am Delvon."

Last words:

Lucas clung to his arm as Delvon hoisted the saddlebag onto his horse, lifting the boy off his feet for just a moment. "Please don't go, Papa!" He looked at the child, his brown and gold eyes looking like that of a dog watching you eat a juicy steak. That boy had mastered the art of begging, and it took all of Delvon's strength not to scoop him up and bring him inside, foregoing the journey altogether.

He sighed. "Would you prefer I stay home and not hunt, and we go hungry for the winter?"

The boy groaned. "You could at least bring me along, I'm old enough now! Look!" He held up his tag, showing the snake fang to his father. It was galik tradition for a child to keep the fang from their first solo hunt and turn it into a necklace, a badge of pride and a sign that they were beginning the journey to adulthood. Over Lucas' life, Delvon would have the privilege to add more to the tag as his son developed his skills, and he could already tell he'd have to go searching for purple and red beads to mark the boy's prowess in vinum and impes magic. Clearly a trait he got from his mother, as Delvon still struggled on the rare occurrence when he did use his magic.

Sighing again, Delvon ruffled Lucas' curly brown hair with his free hand, a smile teasing his lips. "You have to stay home and protect the farm, remember? Mama and Kala can't do it all by themselves."

Lucas let go of his father's arm and crossed his own, pouting. "Mama could protect the farm all by herself! She's told me all about her adventures; she could keep the farm safe with both her hands tied behind her back."

The smile was still on Delvon's face, but it turned a bit more stern now. "Alright, then you're staying home to help with the harvest. The frost is coming soon, remember?"

Another groan from the boy, resigned this time. "Fine," he grumbled, "but next year I get to go hunting with you and Uncle."

Delvon rolled his eyes. "I make no promises, but I'll think about it. Now, where's your mother?"

Lucas pointed toward the house, where he'd left the door wide open when he chased after his father. Delvon started toward it, sighing. When would that boy learn that the purpose of their hearth wasn't to heat the outdoors? He stepped into the house, waiting for the boy to scramble past him before he shut the door, welcoming the warmth of his home after just a few short minutes out in the chilly morning air.

Leslie was in the kitchen, looking like she had barely just woken up as she nursed a mug of tea and attempted to keep her eyes from falling shut. She looked up from the drink to see Delvon in the doorway and she smiled, laugh lines crinkling to make her face look all the more beautiful. Her red hair was pulled back into a barely contained ponytail, curls flying everywhere to give her a frazzled look. Delvon walked over and smoothed her unruly locks, kissing the top of her head as he did.

'Somebody's a sap this morning,' he sensed her thinking, and he looked at her face to see her smirking at him.

"Perhaps I am," he shrugged, planting a quick kiss on her lips. 'Keep an eye on Lucas when I leave,' he thought, 'I think he might try to follow me this time.'

'He's been failing at that for the past two years,' Leslie replied, hiding a chuckle lest Lucas hear and ask what they're "mind-talking" about. That boy needed to come up with a better term for it; not that she had one, but it took all her willpower not to roll her eyes whenever he said the word. They'd explained tethering to both Lucas and Kala, and while Kala seemed to understand just fine, Leslie wondered if Lucas quite got the concept.

'He'll get it eventually,' Delvon said, interrupting her as he took a sip of her tea, 'he's just young.'

'For now,' she replied, taking the mug back, 'but how are you gonna feel when he gets older than you?'

She said it in jest, but the words gave Delvon pause. He had thought about this before; while he was full galik, they were only half, and they aged much faster than he did. In only sixty years they'd almost reached teenagehood, something that had taken Delvon well over two hundred years. Not to mention Leslie, who wasn't a galik at all. She was in her eighties, although she didn't look it. They wondered if it was the dwarf blood or her strong connection with magic that kept her looking half her age, but neither could figure it out.

Delvon knew what he had been signing up for when he married her; he knew he would outlive her by at least a thousand years, and he had accepted that. But it didn't make it easier to see the signs of age show on her, however slow they may appear. And to see his children grow up so quickly, while he'd seemingly not aged throughout their entire lifetime. He didn't know how he'd handle the years to come, when he was by their deathbeds, still a young man, and it terrified him. What would he do after they were gone?

His thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his cheek. "Hey," Leslie softly said, "you know I love you, right?"

Delvon closed his eyes and placed his own hand on top of hers, pressing his cheek into her palm. He allowed the sensation of his love and care to flow through their link, letting it wash over his wife. She shared hers with him in return, and the two stood there for a quiet moment, eyes closed as they basked in each other's affection.

As soon as the moment had started, it was over, and Delvon opened his eyes, slightly dazed. Leslie's eyes were similarly glazed over, and the two made eye contact for a moment before laughing. The overwhelming sensation they'd just shared left them both a bit stunned, and neither had really gotten used to that feeling.

A knock on the door interrupted them, setting their dog off. Sawyer rushed to the door, barking his head off, his tail wagging frantically. He knew who was on the other side.

"Settle down, boy!" Delvon called fruitlessly, more for his own benefit than anything else. Nothing could stop that damn dog from barking.

Leslie placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "You off, then?"

"It would seem so."

"You better bring us back lots of game, you hear? Oh, and preferably some animal with good bones; we need new tools."

The man snorted. "Alright, necromancer, I'll find you your precious bones."

She smacked him on the shoulder, rolling her eyes. "You know what I mean, asshole. And no getting gored by a buck or a boar or anything. I've already had to patch you up enough for one lifetime; I don't wanna do it again."

Once again, Delvon kissed her on the head, taking his sword off the shelf they'd built high above the children's heads. "I promise I won't get stabbed if you promise you won't let the kids poke your eyes out with the rake."

"Yeah, yeah, I promise."

"I love you!"

"Love you too, Del."

Delvon opened the front door, smiling as he saw his brother on the other side. Sawyer rushed out to sniff Rochil's feet, his entire body squirming from excitement, and the three of them walked toward the horses. When Delvon mounted, he turned back to look at his home, seeing his wife standing in the doorway, waving to him. He saw Lucas peek his head out from behind his mother, and from a window upstairs he could see the tired face of Kala watching out the window as she waved goodbye. Delvon raised a hand to them and Rochil shortly followed. Then the two tapped their horses with their heels, setting on down the road, Sawyer trotting alongside them.

[justsomevoltronstuff]

FINALLY SOMEONE WITH OPEN REQUESTS THANK YOU 🥰🤗 This will suddenly take a dArK tUrN- can you do a Paladins (and Allura) x dying reader? Haha idk but I'm in it for the angst and crying 👌👏 You seem like a wonderful person so keep on being wonderful (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

my cousin gave me the BIGGEST judgemental side eye when she asked what I was writing about and I told her character deaths, I’m tryna not to fite, y’all I ain’t gonna lie imma throw hands frfr

also, so sorry this took so long, I’m pretty sure I rewrote it like five times tryna get it to my damn satisfaction (which is such a nasty habit, don’t reread you’re own shit if you want an honest opinion on it y’all)

also also, I’m on mobile rn so I can’t cut it so just so all y’all know:

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO DEATH/GRIEVING. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT DEATH AND GRIEF AND IT IS MAJOR SAD BOI HOURS AND I WORRY ABOUT YALL AND DONT WANT YOU READING THIS IF YOU KNOW YOU WONT HANDLE IT WELL😤😤😤

this is a long one bois so if you wanna skip around they’ll all be colored as per usual and the order is: Shiro, Lance, Hunk, Keith, Pidge, Allura

please enjoy lovers🥺💜🌸

»»»»»»»»»«««««««««

The battle wasn’t an easy one by any means, it was touch and go for the whole team. You knew it wasn’t gonna end well, but that had never stopped you from putting forth your all. You swung your weapon, keeping your enemies at bay as much as you possibly could. Your team was all over the place, the enemy having succeeded in separating everyone in hopes of tipping the odds in their favor. It worked.

You couldn’t keep up alone. Fighting had always been instinct to you, you had never felt so overwhelmed as you had in that moment. They were closing in and you had nowhere left to go and no tricks left up your sleeve. You were stuck, and there weren't any quick enough plans to keep you out of harm's way this time.

You held your ground for as long as you could, refusing to give in easily. You fought until your limbs were too exhausted to move and your breathing was too shallow to continue. It was in a moment of hesitation from sluggish movements that they finally overtook you, and you felt pain spread through you, worse than any you had ever felt before.

You heard shouts of panic, you listened as the battle got thicker and the enemy retreated, you smiled at the sound of victory. Your team shouted in excitement, another battle well fought, another win for Voltron.

Attempting to sit up, you felt pain rush your body once again, causing you to groan. Your team's cheers quickly died down as they took in your situation. Before you knew it, your head was being cradled by the person you wanted to see the most at this moment. Their eyes were filled with concern and tears were brimming. You attempted a soft smile, in hopes of comforting them. Your breathing was shaky as the brushed your hair away from your eyes.

“You’re going to be okay.” They promised.

Your last thoughts were of your family, earth, the realization you’ll never feel rain on your face again, of your team, who you hated abandoning, and finally, of the one person you hated leaving the most. You knew you weren’t making it out of this one, you despised you were going to pass in their arms. You wished you could turn back time and fight a little harder, you wished things could be different, that you could live the life the two of you dreamed together.

“Don’t blame yourself.” You whispered in response.

They shook their head in defiance. “Don’t talk like that. We’re gonna get you to the castle and into a med pod and you’re going to be good as new in no time.”

You shakily lifted a hand and brushed a tear from their cheek. “I love you.”

Their face was filled with pain and you knew the only thing keeping them from losing it was this being your final moments. “I love you.” They responded, their voice cracking. They leaned down and gently pressed their lips to yours.

You felt everything around you becoming further and further away.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered out to your team as you took a final shaky breath, your senses being overwhelmed as you felt yourself fading.

Shiro

The tears kept flowing as he watched the light fade from your usually bright, curious eyes. He pulled you into him as he sobbed into your shoulder, wishing you’d wrap your arms around him and tell him everything was okay, that there was no reason to cry. But you didn’t, and you never would again. Your team surrounded the two of you, tears running down their cheeks as well as they watched their leader completely break in front of them, their friend tucked in his arms unmoving.

He tried to move on. He knew you wouldn’t want him blaming himself or wallowing in misery on your behalf. He mourned you, he still does, but he needs to keep leading the team, he doesn't have time to let the memories of you being by his side drag him into complete uselessness.

It was hard, it took a long time, but eventually he could remember you, his lover, his everything, without crumpling immediately.

When the team got back to earth, it was raining. He stood outside, face tilted to the sky, just letting the water drench him. The rain reminded him of you, you always told him it was what you missed most about earth.

It was as he stood outside, head facing the endless clouds, lighting striking in the far off distance, enduring the first rainstorm he’d felt since before the Kerberos Mission, that he smiled for the first time since the morning before your final battle.

Lance

Once you had taken your final breath and your gentle hand slipped off his, all composure he had left was out the window. He screamed and sobbed in the middle of that battlefield. His team knew he had a tendency to keep his emotions at bay, so watching him break over your body, knowing there was nothing they could do to help him, was heartbreaking. They all shared his grief, but none on a level even close to him.

You had been his rock, you helped him keep sane and reminded him he wasn’t a horrible person. He sobbed harder as he remembered how excited you were to meet his family once all of you went back to earth.

After a while he just, stopped. He had run out of tears, he had his moment of grief, he had to stand tall and move on now. Or at least that’s what everyone saw. Every single day of his life, he blamed himself. If only he hadn’t let himself get separated from you, if only he’d gotten to you a little sooner, if only, if only, if only. In the end, he knew there was no changing the outcome, but that didn’t stop him from imagining worlds in which you were still by his side.

He never thought he’d dread finally going home, but as the team landed, and a woman that looked eerily familiar came rushing from the building towards them, he felt himself snap. HE crashed to his knees as the woman came up to the group, looking around at each of them.

“Where are they?” she demanded. “Where is my child?” She had tears in her eyes as she noticed Lance on his knees, holding back tears and hugging himself.

“I’m so sorry ma’am,” Shiro started but she just shoved him away.

“You let them die?! My child died in outer space, surrounded by a bunch of strangers, and you didn’t even try to save them?!” She had tears rushing down her cheeks. “Who do you even think you are? Do you think you deserve to ball up because of them? You don’t even know them! No, nevermind, yes, you do deserve to be down there, not out of pity, but out of remorse. This is all your fault, all of you! My child never should’ve come to this stupid place.”

He flinched as he took in the woman's words.

“That is enough ma’am. Your child died honorably, saving people, and they were our family. We aren’t just some strangers, we’re the people your child died for. So, in all due respect, I suggest you back away from your child's mourning lover and stop slandering the life they died protecting.”

Everyone shut up in shock as Keith put your mother in her place, causing her to take a deep shaky breath, tears slipping from her eyes at last as she took in his words.

Hunk

Your hand slipped out of his as your eyes fluttered shut for the final time. He didn’t rage, he didn’t scream or burst, he just silently held you a little longer, his tears running down his cheeks until they ran dry. He didn’t have the energy to leave you yet, he never thought you’d be the one to go first.

The team didn’t know what to do, Hunk had always been the emotional one of the team, never being shy with showing his feelings. He wore his heart on his sleeve without regret, but now, he just looked emotionless.

He tried to distract himself. He threw himself into engineering projects and every mission the team ran he put everything he had into completing. He stopped cooking all together, every time he even so much as looked at the kitchen door, his heart would break slightly more. Memories of the two of you spending hours in that room, cooking with space goo and assorted ingredients you found. It hurt too much to attempt doing something you were both passionate about without you.

He was silent as they finally made it back to earth, his family welcomed him home, having adr him his favorite dessert and everything, but he just didn’t have the heart to enjoy it. The two of you had spent countless hours sharing stories and memories and things you wanted to eat when you finally made it back, and that banana cake had been the one thing you couldn’t wait to try.

He cried himself to sleep that night, wishing he could change the past. It was difficult for him to find something to fight for, a future without you having been something he hadn’t considered since the two of you met at the Garrison all that time ago. He came to the conclusion that his heart would never recover, but that wouldn’t stop him from fighting for the future you so easily described to him, a future where aliens and humans could live in peace, where the Galra weren’t an enemy, where the two of you could live out blissful lives together, having done your time in a war that wasn’t supposed to be yours.

Keith

His breath got shallow as yours ceased, his heart racing as your own stopped all together.

“This can’t be happening. Y/n please! Please open your eyes. Please,” his broken sobs echoed as the Paladins watched him plead with your lifeless body.

They didn’t know what to do. The normally stoic red paladin was shattering before their own eyes, more emotions flooding him than they expected to be possible. It was heartbreaking to say the least.

They had all lost one of their own that day, but none felt it more than the broken boy.

You were his family. You stuck by him on earth when no one else would, you left the Garrison with him just so he wouldn’t be alone, where there was him, there was you, and now you were gone, and he didn’t know how to cope without you.

He changed. He was already pretty closed off from the rest of the team, he never really smiled a lot, he wasn’t an extremely emotional person, but after his outburst that day, he completely shut off everything. Jokes that Lance would tell that would once make him smirk fell on deaf ears, even Hunks cooking and Shiros dadly advice didn’t pull him out of it.

The team learned to just work around his new behavior, wishing he’d go back to being a hothead or something. Anything.

He pushed his hardest on every mission, fighting as though he had absolutely nothing left to lose, because, in his mind, he didn’t. He felt alone in a universe out to get him, he knew he had friends, a team, even family now, but he didn’t have you, and nothing would be the same because of that. He would never be the same reckless, hotheaded, careless red paladin he once was, because he did all of that stuff knowing you’d either back him up or smack him upside the head.

Everyone told him time would ease the pain, but as he brought flowers to the memorial grave they created for you, on the anniversary of that day, he knew that no amount of time given to him would ease the pain he still felt. Because he was too painfully aware that all of that time given to him was time taken from you.

Pidge

Pidge was never exactly one to attach to people, not really, and definitely not so emotionally. Attachment to robots? Sure. But human beings were a whole lot more difficult. Which is why when the two of you admitted to being in a relationship, no one saw it coming or knew what to expect, it was completely uncharted territory.

And now, as Pidge was hovering over your body, swearing to find a way to help you, they once again didn’t know what to do.

Pidge sobbed and made halfhearted promises, telling you that you were going to be okay, but knowing you weren’t, and you never would again. It took the entire team to pry Pidge off your dead body, Pidge immediately begging them to let go, just needing to be near you.

After the shock of it all wore off, Pidge holed up in the garage/workspace, working on this project and that, trying desperately to keep distracted, but nothing worked. Every single thing held a memory, every memory brought you back to life, and every memory would ease and you would just vanish all over again.

Countless nights were spent wrapped up in your clothes, with your blanket, in your/on your side of the bed, weeping into the familiar smell of you. Pidge didn’t express emotions very well, but it was obvious this time. The distracted mindset, the distant gazes, the quiet sobs no one else was supposed to hear, all of it made it glaringly obvious that Pidge was not okay.

Pidge took to wearing your clothing more often than not, determined to keep any and every part of you alive so the memories of you would never fade.

Pidge was never one to attach to people, but Pidge also never imagined a life where you weren’t in it.

Allura

She watched you drop from the other side of the battlefield, a heartbreaking shriek escaping her throat as she watched you fall. In her mind you were supposed to be invincible, you were her wonderful significant other that gave her a reason to keep going, you were always telling her that everything was gonna turn out the way it’s supposed to, that the two of you were gonna make it through anything that could possibly be thrown your way.

She ruthlessly fought her way to you, no longer caring for leaving as little harm as possible. They hurt you, they didn’t deserve her sympathy. Once she finally got to you, the battle had ended and the other Paladins had joined her in surrounding you.

“Help me get them to the pods.” Allura pleaded, clutching your lifeless body. “They have to be okay. They can be healed, we just need to get them to the pods.” She was frantic, emotional, scared, and panicking.

Keith gently grabbed her shoulder. “They’re gone, Allura. They’re already gone.” The Red Paladin pulled her into his arms and let her release everything that day.

Everything following was a blur. The team moved forward with plans and missions, Allura never missing a beat. There were points when the team was concerned with how well she seemed to be doing, she lost her lover and was seemingly perfectly okay. But late at night, if they listened close enough, they could here the stifled, choked sobs of the princess as she got out all the pent up emotions in preparation for the next exhausting day of not letting her personal life interfere with the mission.

»»»»»»»»»«««««««««

I might be the only one that got emotional™️ during this one, but I hope you all enjoyed🌸

~Admin Rori💜

[izzielizzie]

Could you write a sad Maeve / Luis one-shot where they break up and Drivers License is from Maeve’s POV?? We can just pretend that she didn’t have her license in the books haha

yesss i freaking love this song so much thanks for the ask! This takes place when Maeve’s a senior in high school and Luis is a sophomore in college. 

I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about

“What’s the first thing you want to do now you can drive wherever you want to?” Bronwyn asked Maeve as she jumped on her bed. 

“Drive into hell and stay there.”

Bronwyn sighed and closed her eyes. Maeve had been pushing past her sister’s patience threshold for the last week.

“I’m being serious Maeve.”

“As am I.”

“Maeve.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. But I can’t stand thinking about my dumb license. We used to talk about me getting it for so long.”

“Maeve Luis is not the end of your world.”

“Then why does it feel like he is?”

'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house

Maeve felt her heart break as she drove past his familiar house, the one with the flowers crammed into window boxes. She wanted to pull into the driveway, ring the doorbell that always stuck and make small talk with his mom before falling into him like she always did. 

But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around

But she couldn’t. She felt the tears pool in her eyes as she kept driving farther and farther away from her town and everything she had always known.

And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt

Maeve didn’t like to think about who Luis was with. If she had to guess, it was Monica from his culinary class, with her bright blue eyes and blonde highlights.

She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about

What was there to not like about Monica? She had beautiful long hair unlike Maeve’s cropped bob, and she had the kind of curves a person with cancer for ten years could only dream about. Maeve used to feel like a child whenever she stood next to Monica.

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

“They’ll be other boys,” Maeve’s mother had assured her when she had burst through the front door sobbing like there was no tomorrow.

“No there wont,” Maeve had wailed into her pillow.

“There will be sweetie, trust me.”

Maeve didn’t answer, but as her mother stroked her hair, she couldn’t help but feel her mother was wrong. Who else in the world was like Luis Santos?

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

Maeve could remember the way they slammed doors and yelled at each other when their tempers got the best of them. Addy reminded her of those days when Maeve started to feel sad, but Maeve didn’t listen. Because no matter how much they argued and yelled and screamed, they always made it up to each other by the end of the day. 

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

“I wonder if his girlfriend remembered that he’s allergic to shrimp.”

“I’m sure she did honey, now please eat your dinner.”

“I will Dad, but what if he eats shrimp and dies?”

“Doubtful Mija.”

“But it could happen.”

“Maeve eat your food or I’ll stab you with a fork.”

“Don’t be violent Bronwyn. But your sister is right honey, eat your food.”

“What if he gets stabbed by a fork?”

“Maeve stop talking.”

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

Maeve still had the song he wrote on the back of a napkin at Glenn’s diner. She could remember that day like it was yesterday. She had been gushing over how cute a new song was, and he had flashed her his easy smile.

“So what? It’s easy to write about people you love. I could do it in five minutes.”

“Oh yeah?” Maeve was laughing at his serious expression.

“Yeah.” Luis grinned at her. “Hand me that napkin.”

“Yes, sir.”

He held the pen over the paper. “Time me. In five minutes I will have written a masterpiece about the masterpiece in front of me.”

'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street

Maeve hummed the tune to the forgotten song as she drove past his house.

And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you but I kinda feel sorry for them

“Maeve I don’t care that Luis had a baseball card collection,” Phoebe whined. 

“And if I have to hear about the time he hit a homerun and won the game one more time I’m going to throw you out of my car,” Knox agreed.

“He wasn’t even that great. He was kind of stuck up.”

'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do

Maeve just pursed her lips and looked out the window. She didn’t bother to tell them about how he coached the little-league baseball team every week, or about how he volunteered at the animal shelter every Saturday and taught Sunday school the next day. Just because he didn’t tell everyone didn’t mean he wasn’t a great person. 

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you

As they drove past Luis’s house, Maeve closed her eyes and imagined herself leaning forward, tapping Knox on the shoulder, and asking him to “please drop me off here I need to tell my boyfriend something.” The fact that Maeve couldn’t do that make her want to curl in to a ball and cry. 

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

“Luis who are you staring at?”

“No one babe.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. The only person I could stare at is you.”

It was now that Maeve realized that he was watching Monica. It broke her heart to think about, but she could also feel the way she warmed up from inside out when when he turned those chocolatey brown eyes on her. 

Oh, and I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

“Do you think she’s making sure he takes a break from cooking?”

“Maeve, frankly, I don’t care and neither should you.”

“But Nate-”

“But nothing Maeve.”

I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

Maeve could still think of those song lyrics, the only ones that were coherent in a jumble of words:

I love my Maeve

She’s so fine

With her eyes that shine

'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street

As Maeve drove past his house to get to the mall, she saw Monica’s car in his driveway. Did he think her eyes shone too?

Red lights Stop signs

Maeve stared ahead at the red light as she remembered the first time Luis drove in the car with her when she only had a learner’s permit and he took it upon himself to teach her:

“God Maevey, make sure you don’t stop a foot into the crosswalk” he had said.

“Sorry.”  

“Don’t be.”

I still see your face In the white cars

He leaned towards her and kissed her long and hard as the guy in the white car behind them honked his horn incessantly. 

Front yards Can't drive past the places We used to Go to

Maeve drove past a front yard and remembered the time she nearly drove straight into her mother’s hydrangea bush. “Try not to decapitate the flowers,” Luis had said gravely.

“I’ll try,” Maeve had laughed as she put the car in the reverse.

Maeve could still feel the giddiness the felt that day when they drove past the flower shop and Luis suggested they should get more hydrangeas just in case she decided to go on another killing spree. 

Now, as Maeve passed the store, she felt as if someone had ripped a hole in her chest. 

'Cause I still fucking love you, babe

“I love you Luis,” she whispered to the empty shop as she drove past. 

Sidewalks We crossed

Maeve could feel the weight of his hand in hers as she crossed the street to the mall. She missed how comfortable he made her feel.

I still hear your voice In the traffic

As the cars drove past, he could hear him saying to her “these cars had better be careful once you get your license Maevey. We should get you some sirens so when you start driving people will know to get out of your way, just in case.” 

We're laughing Over all the noise

Maeve smiled to herself a little as she remembered how Luis had to wrap an arm around her middle to keep her up as she laughed at his admittedly not-that-funny joke. There was something about being with Luis that made everything ten times better. Even his god-awful jokes.

God, I'm so blue

Maeve sighed a deep sigh as she thought about how much she missed. 

Know we're through But I still fucking love you, babe

Maeve would give anything to be laughing with him. Her mother had once told her that love was fickle, and that you could be in love with one person one day and another person the next. Maybe that rule applied to Luis, but it didn’t to Maeve. She still missed him so much it hurt. 

I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

Maeve could still remember the day he had locked her out in the rain. They had argued about something petty and she stood on the steps trying to figure out how to get home when the door opened and Luis stood with so much remorse on his face it hilled her. 

“I’m so sorry Maevey, I was an ass.”

Maeve hugged him hard and he rocked her back and forth, apologizing over and over again. 

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

Maeve wondered briefly if Monica was willing to go to cookware stores with him for hours upon hours as she walked past his favorite store as she left the mall. She hoped so. Luis deserved to be happy. 

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

Maeve passed an ad for a song-writing class as she passed a street sign pole. The words to the song he wrote came flying back to her:

I love my Maeve

She’s so fine

With eyes that shine

'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street

Maeve turned those lyrics over and over in her mind as she drove through his neighborhood.

Yeah, you said forever now I drive alone past your street

“Love you Luis,” she mumbled as she passed his house.

God for such a happy couple I write so many sad one shots about them :( (I have fun though keep requesting stuff). Enjoy!!!

[keladryhawklight]

Until We Meet Again

01 Feb 628

It was time. Now was the very moment that she had been dreading since their arrival in  Cindervale some days earlier. There was a lump that was near impossible to swallow as she regarded the tiny face that stared up at her. A pair of inquisitive violet eyes stared back up at her, taking in this person so much bigger than she, who held her so close. Wisps of tiny blonde hair peeped out from underneath the swaddling holding the tiny child safe and cozy. A stubborn chin, so much like her fathers was set, seeming to know what was to come. A soft hum escaped her and she sang softly to her daughter.

 Make me a channel of your peace.. Where there is hatred, let me show you love.. And may you never feel injury, o Light, Keep her from injury.. And if there should be doubt, I hold true faith in you, my Light..

Make me a channel of your peace, my Light.. Where there's despair in life, please show her hope.. And when the darkness looms, make known your might.. If she knows true sadness, bring only joy..

There will be a miracle, if you believe.. Tho hope is frail, my daughter yours can't be killed.. The Light will show what miracles you can achieve.. Those you'll know when you believe..

 As she sang, she shifted back and forth, moving to a the table beside their bed. Upon it, there was a small bundle. Wrapped in a soft blanket embroidered with silver moons, the bundle was just as small as the child she held close. Her heart was breaking, as she turned to look up at her husband; he had been such a rock for them both while they had recovered and gotten used to their little family unit. But now, now even she could see the barely held back veil of sorrow in the light of his eyes. He had been quiet, working through the difficulties that came with this farewell, she knew. She could not fault him in the slightest.

 Her feet carried her around the room, her body swaying gently as she held the tiny bundle close to her. As she neared the desk where a small envelope sat waiting for the Marshal's eyes, she opened a small music box. The soft melody of the familiar hymn she had been humming filled the air. From within the music box, a pair of magical figures moved through the motion of a romantic waltz together. It was her and Sandor, their likenesses enchanted into the box by Toby, shortly before his departure into the otherworld they now found themselves bound for. It would serve for Talithe, in the event they did not come back. At least she would know one day who her parents were.  "My smallest love," she whispered down to the baby. "My Talithe."

 Talithe Celine. Talithe for the heavens, and Celine for his own mother, taken from him too young. Sandor's little Tali, so he was wont to call her when she found them cuddled up in bed.

 Alfred was there with them, another constant since their arrival in Cindervale the day prior. His attentions were constant; he was all knowing it seemed, about their needs before they even realized that they needed them. In him, the Marshal had a treasure. The man was truly a lightsend as they adjusted to their new roles as parents, and prepared for their journey. But now, she found she had no real words to speak how she truly felt to the man.

"Alfred, she will be alright?" Kel queried softly, dragging her gaze from their daughter to the manservant. Anxiety burned in her chest. The world was a terrible place and they.. they were going worlds away for the rest of their family. What would come of this world while they were gone, she had asked herself time and again. Nobody knew where they were bound. None of her brothers, her sister, nor her own mother would know. The only person with the knowledge was her protector, the Marshal Edain.

"Yes. Lord and Lady Edain have a woman here in the Vale for her to stay with. She has no children to call her own, but a heart waiting for a child to hold close for some time. She shall not want, nor shall she be alone," was the stoically said answer. Alfred knew they were both anxious, and afraid for the world they were leaving their child in. "Cindervale will keep her safe, Lady Brightmaul. Of this, you can be certain." It was true. She did know that, rationally. But her heart still worried nonetheless. Sandor came near, weapons and armour buckled and ready, his eyes heavy. It was time. Her gaze drifted back down to Talithe, and she took that second, that moment to commit each tiny, fragile feature to memory. Her eyes, her nose, her chin. Her tiny hands, and tiny toes. This little daughter of theirs who had changed their lives forever, simply days ago. She pressed a light kiss to Talithe's forehead, allowing her Light free to bless the child. It was her strongest blessing, her strongest protection, and her strongest will that she imbued into the light-magic. "Now," she whispered softly after a moment, swallowing the hard lump in your throat. "Go to your father, for he too would like to say a goodbye."

To him, Talithe went willingly, staring up at the man who shared her features with nothing less than adoring curiosity. Kel's lips quirked as she watched the pair. Like father, like daughter. Talithe had charmed him just as easily as Duke had. He was so extraordinarily gentle with her, but it was the love in his eyes that said it all. His own gruffly spoken prayer was as pained as hers, his voice shaking with that same pain they both tried hard to mask. His Light was warm as it joined hers, imbued with the strength of a fathers protective light. It danced through the room as he blessed Talithe as well. In his grasp was a chain, upon which dangled a delicate maul carved with Lightrunes. It had been imbued with the deepest of his own Light-strengths, and would no doubt bring some relief to their child, for even Kel herself could feel Sandor in the metals of the chain, the soft ridges of the hammer. Like her musicbox, he had left a part of himself with their own, so that if the worst should happen, she should not be alone. That was an unbearable thought. The worst that could happen, and she found herself reaching out to lightly stroke Talithe's forehead at the faintest inkling of it. The worst. It was something she found herself terribly afraid of, now that this tiny being had joined them. But it was something she had steeled herself for. Her reasons for going were the same as they had always been; the 47th were now her family too. It was inconceivable for her to let them face the vast otherworld alone. Talithe.. She swallowed heavily, the image of Talithe in Sandor's arms blurring heavily as she was struck by a swell of emotion. Talithe would be loved. No matter what happened, Talithe would be loved. And that was the most they could do, to ensure the safety of their daughter, while they looked after the rest of their family. She felt wetness on her cheeks, but could do naught to stop the tide that swelled.

"Alfred," Kel murmured softly to the manservant. "Please give.." She paused, looked at the floor and swallowed heavily. A moment passed where she could do naught but wrestle with the tears that filled her eyes. "Please tell your Master that I am forever in his debt for his generosity. He has given me something that I can never repay him for, no matter how long I pledge myself to the Regiment. And for what he has done, I am eternally grateful." Alfred nodded, his voice quiet, "I shall pass along your words of thanks, Lady Brightmaul." He said nothing to her tears, for he doubted there was little she could do to stop them anyways.

"My love,"  Kel murmured as she looked up at Sandor. "It is time to say goodbye. It is time for us to go."

[devil-in-those-eyes]

Flutters-Ben Hardy

It’s here, as promised! Hope you guys enjoy!

--

           “Y/N, just tell me why.” Ben begged you, tears filling his eyes.

           “It’s for the best,” you answered, your voice hoarse because it felt like a rock the size of Africa was in your throat. You chin quivered as you shoved your suitcase and carryon into the back of the taxi, just outside of Ben’s apartment complex.

           “For who’s best?” he asked and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to keep yourself calm. Ben stood behind you in only sweats and the white t-shirt he had slept in, his hair was a mess and he still had sleep in his features because he woke up to you packing and getting ready to leave four days early. When you started talking breakup he rushed out of bed, stumbling over the clothes from the night prior.

           “Ben,” you begged, willing him to just take your words but he didn’t.

           He wrapped his hand around your arm, whirling you around to face him and pulling until your chest was against his. The tears were no longer balancing on the rim of his eyes but were now rushing down his cheeks. “Certainly not the best for me.”

           “Ben, please!” you exclaimed, pushing your hands into his chest. “Just… just let me go, Ben. You have to let me go.”

           “Just tell me why,” he said, sadness dripping in his words and making your heart beat wildly in your chest. This was hurting you as well, it was killing you to do this but it had to be done and one day he’d understand it. Ben’s eyes searched your eyes before his hand slid up your neck and cradled your cheek, “Sweetheart.” He attempted a smile, “just come back inside and we can talk. You can tell me what’s going on inside.”

           Your eyes nearly fluttered shut at his soft murmured words, the feel of his warm hand against your cheek, but if you went inside then this would all go backwards and you had to do this. You needed to walk away. This wasn’t a problem Ben could fix over tea and coffee. Your chin quivered as you stared up into his beautiful eyes. You realized this would probably be the last time you ever saw him, so you took everything in. From his soft lips, to his button nose and bright eyes. The blonde curls at the top of his head. The way his chest felt underneath your palms, the way his heart was beating so hard and in total fear of your next words and movements.

           “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “We’re at different places and I can’t do this anymore.”

           “Sweetheart,” Ben started but you gave one last shove and he let you go. You closed the trunk of the taxi and walked to the open door, “Y/N, please!”

           You shut the door and flicked the lock down.

           “Sure you want to go, Miss?” the taxi driver asked.

           “Yes, now.” You forced yourself to say and he started driving down the street, heading straight for Heathrow, where you would catch your one way back to New York.

           You kept your eyes forward because if you looked back you knew you would force the driver to turn back around. Because you knew that if you looked back at Ben, then it was game over. You breathed deeply and wiped at the tears on your cheeks, once you hit the highway you finally settled back into the seat. Your hands collapsing onto your stomach, giving a protective rub over the reason why you left Ben.

           He wasn’t ready for a baby. Your relationship had only been eight months long, it was a pure and beautiful eight months, but one simple mistake and it was all ruined. The words Ben spoke to his mother stuck inside your head and played round and round like a stupid catchy song by Ariana Grande.

           We’re not ready mum. It’s too soon for marriage and babies. My career is taking off and it would only make things harder… Maybe in five years.

           But five years was happening now and you wouldn’t put Ben through being a father if he didn’t want to be. What were the chances of you two staying together after having a baby so soon in your relationship? Slim to none.

--

           “How you doing, kid?” Joe asked through the phone after you got into your townhome in suburban New York.

           “Kid? Joey, you’re only seven years older than me.” You chuckled, dropping your keys into the glass bowl, putting your purse onto the small table beside the door. You slipped off your shoes and sighed happily because your feet remained swollen and had been for freaking months.

           Joe chuckled softly, “How was the doctors visit then, Y/N?”

           “Good,” you smiled, traveling into your kitchen to grab a drink. It was a cloudy late morning and you knew that a storm was headed for your little townhouse so you couldn’t be more excited to sit inside and watch some TV on your day off after your doctors visit. Just to curl up with your favorite blanket on your plush couch, numbing your mind and hopefully taking the pressure off of your feet.

           “Yeah?” You could almost hear your best friend of twenty years smiling through the phone, “How’s the baby? I wanna know about my nephew.”

           “Excuse me,” you began to argue, “could be a niece, you jerk.”

           “Okay, then how is my niece-possibly nephew doing?” he laughed as you settled on the couch, propping your feet up and looking down. Your belly was growing daily and you were becoming one of those pregnant women that was all belly. You found yourself eating all the damn time and peeing was becoming more of an hourly occurrence and lately you could feel odd flutters inside your stomach, almost like butterflies but a little heavier and more real.

           You ran your fingers over your bump and smiled, “Good, the doctor is happy with the way things are going. He-she now has fingers and toes and is also the size of a banana.”

           “Oh, my god,” Joe cooed and your cheeks burned with a happy grin. It had taken a lot for Joe to be okay with your recent decisions, but he never once looked at your baby as a mistake, instead when he found out you were pregnant he was utterly ecstatic. As much as Joe loved hearing all of this, you knew he wished you would share these moments with the father of your baby and remembering that made your heart sink.

           “I can’t believe you only have four more months,” Joe breathed out before mumbling, “I need to start buying shit.”

           You laughed, “No, no more presents.”

           “Aw, come on, Y/N. What’s the fun in being the cool uncle if I can’t spoil the shit out of this kid?” Joe whined and you rolled your eyes. The man was in his thirties and still acted like a child. You were seven years younger than Joe, but sometimes you definitely considered yourself the more mature one. “Listen, I’ll call you back, kid. Give your belly some rubs for me.”

           “Bye, Joey.” You laughed and hung up the phone, turning on your TV and curling up into your couch, immediately getting settled while absentmindedly rubbing your belly, something you found yourself doing more and more as time went on.

           You couldn’t help but be excited to be a mom, to welcome this baby into the world with a warm hug. Sure, you were beyond nervous to be a single mom but you had more than enough people around you to help make it work. You would make this work, for this baby. Remembering that you were doing this on your own made you think about Ben and your stupid hormones made tears slip into your eyes. You hadn’t seen him since you left London three months ago, nor have you spoken to him. He tried calling and speaking through Joe, but you didn’t answer and eventually it all stopped.

           He still loves you, Y/N. Joe would whisper to you during your worst nights. You should tell him.

           I cant ruin his life. We barely know each other.

           That’s a load of shit.

           Promise me, Joe. Swear on my life you wont tell him.

           ….. I swear.

--

           The storm outside had been raging on for the last three hours and the weather people said it wouldn’t let up until the early morning hours. Rain drops fell harshly onto your roof, making it sound like bullets dropping onto your ceilings, and when the thunder followed quickly after the lightening, it sounded like it was going to crack open your home. You hadn’t really moved from your position on the couch, other than to grab food and pee. You, at one point, grabbed all the snacks from your pantry and laid them out in your lap, your fingers picking what they wanted, bouncing from chips to apples dipped in honey and peanut butter. Your cravings were off the fucking wall and you didn’t even want to admit what you were craving.

           When the storm originally started, your mom called and asked if she could come the spend the night with you but you denied it because you just wanted to enjoy the quiet of your home while the storm raged on. Her protectiveness hit an all new level when you told her you were expecting, and as much as you loved her willingness to be there and sit with you while you dipped your Cheetos in strawberry yogurt you just wanted time alone.

           During your current marathon of Very Cavallari your phone began ringing. You picked it up while balancing the remote on your belly and saw it was Joe again. You sighed and picked it up, “Did mom beg you to call and check up on me? Joe, I swear to god, I am fine.”

           “Y/N,” Joe stated. The way he said your name, the way it rolled off of his tongue stopped the chip from going into your mouth. It was his serious tone, it was his something is wrong and I need you to listen very carefully. It was his tone he used when he stopped being your best friend and more along the lines of that protective older brother mood he sometimes got into.

           “What’s happened?” you asked, pausing the show and sitting up a bit more. “What’s wrong, is your mom okay? Is.. is Mary okay?”

           “Y/N, you have to promise not to hate me.” Joe replied, not fully giving you the answer you were looking for.

           “What?” you asked, confused. “What are you talking about?”

           “Ben knows, Y/N.” Joe blurted out, almost cutting you off. The blood drained from your face as Joe repeated himself, “Ben knows.”

           “Joe, what the hell did you do?” you exclaimed into the phone as your doorbell rang, the Doordash guy finally showing up with your Chick-Fil-A order, one where you ordered everything off of the menu.

           “It.. It, I don’t even know!” Joe exclaimed as you got up. “I hung up the phone with you earlier and he heard me tell you to rub your belly. He asked who was pregnant and he nearly throttled me into telling him! Y/N, I was scared shitless of him.”

           “So you fucking tell him?” You exclaimed as you searched through your purse to grab you wallet.

           “Okay, so that’s not actually the worst part,” Joe grimaced as you balanced the phone between your ear and shoulder, ripping your front door open.

           Your heart plummeted into your stomach and suddenly all those cravings you gave in to today swirled around in your stomach because a blonde, green eyed man was staring at you. The blood was drained from his face as he took in your leggings and sweatshirt, immediately zeroing in on your swollen stomach.

           His lips quivered, “You’re pregnant?”

           “Oh, fuck. Yeah, he jumped on the first flight out of LAX, by the way.” Joe grumbled over the phone, after hearing Ben.

           “I hate you.” You said to Joe and hung up.

           Ben tried again, this time looking into your eyes. “You’re pregnant, with my child.”

           Where would you even start? “Ben, I…”

           “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” He yelled, suddenly finding his voice.

           “Ben, maybe you should…”

           “Leave?” he finished and shook his head, “I’m not going anywhere, in fact I’m going to go grab my bags because we have a lot of talking to do.”

           No! “Ben!” you exclaimed as he ran back out into the rain, immediately getting drenched as he rushed back to his rental car. You’re unsure of how he managed that because he wasn’t even a dual citizen, let alone had his license, but either way you saw him lift up his trunk and you found yourself running towards him.

           The heavy rain covered you from head to toe by the time you reached Ben and lightening filled the dark sky, thunder crackling above your heads. “Ben, stop, I don’t want to do this with you!” you yelled through the rain.

           “What?” he asked, “Admit that you ran away from me, or tell me how you decided to kick me out of our baby’s life without even telling me you were pregnant!”

           “You don’t even want a child!” you screamed, already feeling cold to your bones through the downpour.

           “I never said that!” he yelled back, no longer fussing around with his luggage as he faced you. He looked broken as his hair stuck to his forehead, dark circles under his eyes with pale cheeks. He honestly looked like the last three months had been hell for him and the sudden news just added ten years to his pretty baby boy face.

           “You mom asked you, and your answer was crystal clear, Ben.”

           Ben went silent as he thought back three, almost now four, months ago. When he remembered the conversation that you overheard, he hung his hands on his hips and chewed on the inside of his mouth, trying to think of his next move. You knew you had him. You were fully aware that you decision to leave was rash and harsh and it broke two hearts in the process, but you would never bring a baby into the world, only for it to be unwanted to looked at as a mistake. Ben would one day be an amazing father, but his comments to his mom made it crystal clear that kids weren’t in yours and Ben’s new future.

           “Love, you’re sopping wet, let’s get you inside before you get sick. Before something happens to the baby.” Ben faltered, stepping towards you and offering his hand to you.

           You stepped back and placed a protective hand over your belly. You shook your head as your bottom lip quivered, a telltale sign you were about to start crying. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

           “Y/N, please,” he begged, his face full of desperation. There was a huge chance you would get sick, and it would only put more stress on your baby, but there was no way you were letting him in.

           “I will not let my baby come into this world unloved.” You stated as the tears finally rolled down your face and mixed with the pelts of rain. “I refuse to let this baby grow up in a home filled with anything less than love and adoration.”

           “I do love this baby!” Ben shouted, not keeping a hold on his cool like you did.

           “You didn’t even know until six hours ago.” You argued almost instantly.

           “Because you didn’t tell me!” Ben pulled back on the shouting and turned his face to the sky. He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back only for it to fall to his face again. He looked back at you again, this time with his own tears in his eyes. He looked at your small bump, with your hands still trying to cover it, and you watched as he stared at it with the same look in his eyes that he used to get when he looked at you. A look he gave you the second you pulled open the front door and he saw you standing there.

           He looked back up at you. You felt a soft flutter in the pit of your stomach and realized it was your baby. Yours and Ben’s perfect baby. Ben smiled tenderly and spoke lowly underneath the thunder and lightening, “Y/N, my love for our baby doesn’t have to evolve. I don’t have to know the colors of the nursery, or which pram you’ve already picked out… Or which names you’ve picked out,” he gave you a teasing smile, one that made your heart flutter, “because I already know you had names picked out the day after you found out you were pregnant.”

           You felt like you were suffocating under his eyes, so your hand touched your chest.

           “The second I found out you were having my child, I knew I was in love because its you. You are the only person I see a future with, the only woman I dream about marrying. I’ve been spending the last three months dreaming about you and constantly thinking about you.” He sucked on his lower lip before smirking, “Sweetheart, you can fly halfway across the world to hide from me, but I’ll follow you anywhere. I’m never letting you go and I’m never leaving our baby.”

           Oh, fuck me. You thought. You still loved this man and the fact that he found out you were pregnant and flew hundreds of miles to see you, only instantly after being told, showed you that you two could make it work. Your love for each other was all consuming, passionate but so fucking real.

           “Ben, I,”

           You didn’t get to say another word because he gripped your hand and tugged you to him. Hard enough to make you stumble into his chest, but soft enough that it didn’t hurt the baby. He grinned down at you before pressing his lips to yours. You melted into him and let his mouth assault yours in the most delicious way.

           With a small nip at your bottom lip, he pulled away and stared down at you. You smiled, “I love you.”

           “Fuck,” he groaned, “I love you so damn much.”

           The rain finally got to you and a violent shiver raced through your body, making your muscles spasm and twitch against him. He frowned, “Let’s get you inside. Take a hot bath to warm you up.”

           You wiggled your eyebrows, “Take one with me?”

           He smirked and tugged your hair at the back of your head, causing dark swirls of pleasure to form between your legs, before pressing a heavy kiss to your mouth. “The answer to that is always yes.” He grumbled before grabbing his suitcase.

           Maybe you didn’t hate Joe thaaat much.

[mikexfaisty]

My first IT fic and it’s finally reddie! Terrible pun but please go review! I’m going to be posting more IT related stuff on my AOA account. I have a couple ideas in mind. Send me prompts! I’ll write about any of the losers! 

 https://archiveofourown.org/users/amanderrpanderr

Title: Forever

Summary:  Eddie reveals to Richie he's leaving Derry. Takes place after IT Chapter 1.

"My mom's selling the house".

It had came rather abruptly and for once, the loudmouth Richie Tozier was too stunned to speak. He turned to look over at Eddie, who was looking away from him. Maybe he had misheard his best friend. Eddie had his scarf so tightly round his neck, it was covering his mouth. He looked like the little brother from A Christmas Story. Perhaps Richie had just misheard him.

"I'm sorry did I hear you correctly? Your mother is selling your house?" Richie asked when he was finally able to find his voice. Eddie nodded, refusing to look at him.

Richie should have known something was up since earlier that morning. Eddie had been oddly quiet, not quite himself. It was the first week back since winter break. February had been a harsh winter for Derry. This past weekend had brought a lot of snow. It was Thursday and the pair were doing what they had always done, walked home from school together. Usually, they would have taken their bikes but that was hard to do in the winter. It was easier, and safer, to walk in the snow. Lucky for them, the sidewalks were neatly paved. Though it hadn't been that way on Monday. Derry high school didn't close for shit and Richie had spent the whole walk listening to Eddie freak out about how they were going to get frostbite. Though he had played off being annoyed, he secretly liked Eddie's little rants. God, for once he wished it was still Monday.

"Fuck," Richie muttered, before getting louder, "Fucking christ this sucks the rot Eds! First Bev, now you" He kicked angrily at a rock that was in their pathway, watching as it sunk into the snow, "Maybe no one will take it," he added quickly. His mind coming up with a million reasons on why and how this move was not going to happen, "I mean, who in their right mind would move to this shit-hole anyway".

At first, Eddie didn't say anything. He didn't even object to his hated nickname. But then Eddie had stopped walking, which in turn caused Richie too as well. Eddie looked nervous, his eyes darting everywhere except at Richie, "She already sold it," he mumbled softly, twiddling with the zipper on his jacket, "We leave for New York right after school ends..."

Richie was dumbfounded, "Are you fucking serious?! That's only like...four months from now". This was all happening way to fast. He had been to Eddie's house nearly everyday the past few months. Not once did he see a for sale sign or any other indication that Sonia had been trying to sell, "I guess property value goes up when the child eating clown gets killed! Who the fuck knew!" It had been several months since the defeat of Pennywise and nearly as long since they lost Beverly to Portland. The once seven members would soon be down to five.

Eddie had always knew his future laid outside Derry. After all the shit he had been through in Derry, he knew he couldn't stay here for the rest of his life. It was being separated from his friends that was going to be the hard part. He thought he had three years till they would all go off to college. Now he would have to start high school all over again at a new school... with no friends. Eddie shook his head, "She sold it pretty quickly. I didn't know until she had already done it".

"I can't believe we had to spend our last summer together nearly getting eaten by that shape shifting fuckface," Richie said angrily, "What's so great about New York anyway?"

The smaller boy was looking a little green, "My mom's sister lives there. She's got cancer and mom wants to be closer to her. We're the only family she's got," Eddie sighed, "Plus what had happened this summer".

Sonia Kaspbrak had always disliked his friends, that was abundantly clear. After his arm accident on Neibolt, she had sworn that he would never be allowed around them. Hell, if she had had it her way, he probably would have never left the house unless it was to pick up his medicine. Oddly enough it had been Gretta who had freed him from his mother's lies. After he confronted his mother about his medication, it had been a whirlwind. The night he had returned after the defeat of Pennywise had been particularly rough. Unsurprisingly, she had freaked out when he had come home covered in filth and shit. After he had taken a shower and convinced his mother he was physically alright, they had continued their talk from earlier that day. She had once again denied making up his illnesses and was quick to blame his friends for his problems. Eddie had been firm. It took a lot of convincing, and mild threats that he'd never speak to her again, for her to back down. Their relationship was far from perfect, but he had hoped this would set them in the right direction. Although, there was no convincing his mother to at least hold out till he graduated. The house was sold. There was no going back now.

"And the others? Do they know?"

Eddie shook his head, "No. I-I want to but..." he was shaking a little now. His left hand was deep in his coat pocket, digging, "I was thinking maybe tomorrow bu-but,"

Richie stared at the inhaler which Eddie had removed from his pocket. He frowned, "I thought you got rid of that thing," Richie grabbed it, much to Eddie's protest. He shook it and sprayed, holding it out of Eddie's reach, "Gazebos remember?"

"Yeah I know just..." and Eddie continued in his attempt to grab the inhaler, "Stop you're wasting it!"

"You don't need this stuff," Richie said firmly. He had stopped spraying but still help it above Eddie's head, "Not anymore,"

The inhaler had sat on the nightstand in his room since the day they defeated Pennywise. Eddie hadn't thought he would ever need to use it, not since the confrontation with his mother. The day she had revealed they would be moving, he had felt drawn to use it. He had lasted about a week, before he had slipped it on his coat early this morning. It had sat there all day. As soon as he had announced the move, he could feel it weighing down in his pocket. Eddie knew Richie was right. He didn't need it. But there was still a part of him missed the comfort the inhaler once gave him. He stopped reaching, "Fine I wont use it,". Richie didn't look to convinced, "I wont", he insisted again, "Just give it back. Please". At first, Eddie wasn't sure Richie would. But after a beat, Richie had capped it and placed it in Eddie's open hand.

"Fine," Richie said shortly. He watched as Eddie hesitated, before it was slipped back in his coat.

They continued to walk for another two blocks. Neither of them spoke until they had reached Eddie's house. There was no car in the driveway indicating Sonia was still at work. The two stood in silence, as if waiting for the other to speak first. The person ended up being Eddie. He was shifting back and forth in his spot, his bottom lip quivering, "Remember what Stan asked in the club house awhile back?" he began, once again refusing to meet Richie's eyes, "He asked if we'd all remain friends....if we'd still remember each other"

"No way I could forget that ugly mug of yours".

Eddie's eye twitched, but he once again ignored the jest, "We'll still be friends right?"

Forget the losers? Forget Eddie? Richie wasn't sure it was possible to forget them. They weren't just his friends, they were family. The thought of losing touch with any of them was scary to Richie. And he could tell Eddie had similar feelings. But after all they had been through, they were worth fighting for. Richie had to believe their friendship could withstand distance.

"Forever," Richie said, trying to sound as confident as he could. Eddie nodded but the worried look on his face stayed the same. Richie gripped Eddie's arm, "I mean it Eddie. Derry, New York, wherever. You'll never be able to get rid of me," he said teasingly. He let go of Eddie's arm before adding, "No way I'm letting any of you guys go," and for a moment, Richie could feel a twinge of pain on his hand where Bill had sliced it.

"Forever," Eddie echoed back.

Richie could see Eddie was relaxing a bit. He nodded "We'll make sure to do everything," he promised. As he gazed at Eddie's house, he felt a bit uneasy. The thought that by this time next year, some other people would be living there crossed his mind. He pushed those thoughts away, putting on his best smile, "We'll see ever movie the Aladdin has to offer, the arcade, sleepovers with the other guys, panty raids, finally getting someone to touch your dick beside your right ha-"

"Bee-beep, asshole," Eddie interrupted, shoving Richie lightly. He tried to sound annoyed but Richie could tell he was trying not to smile.

"I'm serious spaghetti man! Make me a list of all the stuff you wanna do and we'll do it," Richie was already coming up with a million other ideas, "And...and I can visit New York,". Fuck his parents better let him. Even if he had to do extra chores all year. Hell, he'd hitchhike to New York if he'd have to. Although, he'd probably have more of a problem convincing Eddie's mom.

For the first time of the afternoon, Eddie smiled, "Thanks Richie,". He then made to turn towards the path that led to his house. But suddenly, Eddie stopped himself. He turned back, slamming his body into Richie's and wrapping his arms tightly around him. The hug had took him by surprise, though definitely not unwanted, causing Richie to fumble back a few steps. Then sudden warmth had brought a tint of red to his cheeks and caused his glasses to began to fog up. When he got his bearings, Richie returned the hug. After what seemed like forever, Eddie finally pulled away and headed up to the house.

Before Eddie made it inside, Richie called out to him, "Give your mom a kiss for me!"

He watched as his friend paused at the door. Not bothering to turn around, Eddie slipped Richie the finger. Richie laughed and watched as Eddie went inside.

No way I'm letting you go...

[someflareoutwithlove]

Five years...

Trigger Warnings: Transphobia, Abuse. abandonment, homelessness, suicide

A writing about Damiens coming out experience to his family, and how it all went down. 

Damien stood in his bedroom, locks of his once long black hair laid at his feet as he chopped at it, determined to make it short. He knew it was going to look horrible, but at least he would start to look like himself. He didn’t care if it was uneven, he didn’t care if it looked like a toddler with a chainsaw went wild on it. 

Just as he put the scissors down there was a knock on his door, still covered in streamers and with balloons that bobbed half way from the ground as they slowly lost the helium that filled they four short days ago. 

“Amelia” his mothers soft voice called from the other side of the door “dear, are you alright in there? We haven’t seen you all day.” She was the kind of woman you’d see ringing the Salvation Army bell. Long dark hair, pulled into a bun at the base of her skull, and the gently eyes of a sunday school teacher. A feature that Damien always found comfort in.

“I’m okay mom” Damien called out “just- doing some reading. I’ll be out in a little bit. I- I need t-to talk to- to you all abou-about something imp-or-important.”

“Are you sure you’re okay huh” she asked “you’re stammering is getting pretty bad.”

“Y-yeah.. Like I said- I- it’s important.” 

“Did Elijah get you pregnant? You know that boy is sweet, but I don’t think he’d be fit to be a father, not this young. But I’m sure he’d be more than happy to stick by you, and be your husband.”

Damien felt his face turn a bright red. It had been nearly a year since he came out to Elijah. Two years since they broke up. “No, mom. Tha-that’s.. that’s not it. We- we uh- we decided that- that we work better as- as just friends a wh-while ago.. remember?” 

It still hurt, however. Damien still found himself having feelings for his friend. His smile, his laugh. The way his eyes lit up as he talked on and on about almost anything. The freckles that speckled across his whole body, and his soft belly that made him perfect for using as a pillow. He was Damien's best friend for many years, and someone Damien loved. 

“Okay if you’re sure hun” his mom said “I’ll see you downstairs in a bit. Annabelle is making dinner tonight, she learned a new recipe from a classmate in college. I love you baby girl.” 

Damien let out a small sigh before calling out “love you too, mom.” 

Half an hour passed, Damien still stood staring at himself in the mirror as he slowly wrapped a bandage around his chest. He knew it was bad for him- and he knew how much it could hurt him. But this was all he could do for now. It was all he had. If anyone asked him now, despite still doing it, he would tell them not to. Sure, Elijah and his sister had offered to buy him a proper one, but he refused.

He never liked people helping him like that. It made him feel guilty. Like he’d owe them something in return. Or- like he was using them, despite that being far far from the truth. 

He pulled on a light blue shirt, and the purple sweater he’d gotten for his birthday days ago. Slowly he zipped it up. There was no going back now. This is who he was. And his family had to know. 

The door opened and he stepped out into the hall, just in time to run into his mother who was coming up to check on him again. She let out a small gasp looking up at him. 

“Oh sweety, what have you done to your beautiful hair” she asked, reaching up to touch it “oh hun- I thought you were past this phase of giving yourself haircuts.”

Damien pulled back slightly “I was- was just getting t-tiered of it bein’ long mom- th- that’s all” he told her “can.. can you g- get everyone down- downst- st-airs.?”

She nodded a bit, frowning as she looked him up and down. He could tell she was scared of what he was going to say. She had every right to be. He felt his heart thumping hard in his chest as they parted ways, her going to gether the family, and him going down stairs. 

“Hey kiddo” a voice called from the kitchen “I love the new hair cut. Sort of gives off that hard-rock look.” Annabelle stood, spatula in her hand, her brown currly hair pulled back off her face. 

“Th-thanks A-Anna” Damien said softly “I- I uh-”

“I can tell you did it yourself” she interrupted “mom says you got somethin’ important to tell us. Can’t wait to hear what it is. Can I take a guess?”

He let out a small chuckle. His big sister always could make him smile, always make him feel safe. “Sure- b-bu-but you probably wo-wont be able to.” He thought he may as well humor her. Maybe, it would soften the blow of the truth.

“You’ve decided to apply to Julliard for your piano playing!” 

He shook his head “n-no-nope that’s not it.. my- my- my stage fright is- is far too- too bad for somethin’ like that.” 

Anabelle frowned a bit “oh boo” she said “you know you would own that school.” She swapped an arm around him, standing a little shorter than him, in a side hug, that he hesitantly returned. 

He walked into the kitchen with her, the smell of her dinner wafting in the air. Fish and asparagus. 

His little sister, father, and mother all came down the stairs. His father, a tall, looming figure. His eyes sunken into his face, cold and judgmental framed by thin square glasses, and bushy eyebrows. 

Damien watched as his fathers cold eyes locked onto him. “Amelia” he greeted “you cut your hair, I liked it better long. You look like a-” 

He stopped when his mother jabbed him with her elbow “I think she looks lovely” she interrupted “I liked it better longer, but I think it frames her face nicely.”  She flashes a sweet smile at him as they all took a seat on the couch. 

Damien stool still, looking at his family. He felt time slow to a stop around him. Their eyes all looking at him, patiently judging. 

“Okay-” he started “o-okay I- I- I don’t know how to- how to say this but- I- I-” Damien took in a deep breath, he could already feel his eyes growing wet. This was something he’d been going over in his head for along time. Something he’d been practicing to himself, and with Elijah. It was easy with him. He accepted Damien for who he was. He always had. 

“I- I’m not- good in this- I’m- I thi- I know- I’m transgender. I- I’ve known for years- and--” he stopped talking as his father rose from his spot on the couch. 

“No you aren’t” his father hissed “no daughter if mine is goin’ to be a tranny freak!” 

Damien closed his eyes, as tears started to stream down his face “this is who I am- wh- I- I am trans- my- I-” how could he explain it? Could he?

Before he could think, his father stormed over to him and smacked him across the face, sending him to the ground. Damien cold hear his mother gasp in shock as he looked up at his father. 

“No. No daughter of mine” he shouted “Amelia- you need to get yourself together! Either you are my daughter or you are not welcome in this house. You have five minutes to decide!” 

Slowly, Damien stood up and walked to his room. Moments later, his mother followed. “Amelia- hunny” she called after “please- don’t do this- we love you-”

Something inside Damien snapped then, and he turned to look at her, his voice rising slightly “my name is Damien mom! I’m not fuckin’ Amelia! Da-mi-en!”

“TIMES UP NOW” his father shouted, loud enough to shake Damien to his core. In seconds he storned up the his middle child and grabbed him by the wrist. “I don’t care whop the fuck you think you are. You are Amelia. And you are no longer welcome in this house, so long as you keep living as a freak.” He dragged him to the door.

“Dad- please” Damien begged.

“No- I am not your father” he hissed as he threw the door open “as far as I’m concerned, we are strangers now- understood?” With that he tossed Damien out the door. “if you come back onto my property, I will call the cops.” With that, he slammed the door, locking it. 

There Damien stood, staring at the home he’s spent 17 years in. Where he learned to walk and talk. Where his height was measured on the kitchen door frame. Now, somewhere he was never welcome again. Filled with people who he believed never wanted to see him again. 

With that, he turned around and walked away. 

--

As months past, Damien grew worse and worse. Taking to drinking, and harming himself to cope. Two habits that he now wished he never started. He spent his days wondering around the streets, doing odd jobs for people to make enough money to eat. Nothing but his sweater, and a hat a stranger gave him to keep him warm. By the end of September, he’d left Bar Harbor, and was in Portland. Running around the streets still, getting more and more things to himself. 

The first time he spoke to Elijah in months was also the last time he would for years. It was December 28th. He was drunk, and he had plans. He needed to say goodbye to someone. Someone who he knew loved him, and who he loved deeply. 

Luckly, Damien had found a payphone, and still remembered Elijah's phone number. He listened to the phone ring on the other end a few times. It was late, so he wouldn’t be surprised if his friend was still sleeping. 

Just before it went to voice mail, a sleepy voice answered “who the hell is calling at this hour” he asked.

Damiens heart skipped a beat. It was him. A voice he hadn’t heard in so long. He slowly sunk to the ground, still holding the phone to his ear. 

“Hello” Elijah asked “come on- you woke me up- say something.”

Damien sniffled a bit “it’s good to hear your voice, Eli” he said softly “fuck- I- I miss.”

“D-Damien” Elijah asked, more alert now “Damien! Where are you? I can come get you! Are you safe? Are you warm?”

“Eli-”

“Why didn’t you come here? We would have welcomed you. Please- come here Damien. You can be home with us-”

“Eli- stop. I- I can’t.. it- it hurts to- to much to be anywhere in Bar Harbor right now. I-I’m in Portland.”

“Why haven't you called?”

“I- I don’t know.. I- I wanted to.. I- I’ve been trying to- to feed myself- and- and stay war-”

“Annabelle told us everything. My- my mom- Damien my mom would have called someone for you, she could get your dad locked up for that you know that right? We could do something! It’s not fair what happened. Please come home. You can be home with me- with my family. We can be your family-”

“Elijah- shut up. Please- I just- I need- I had to” Damien let out a soft cry “I just wanted to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye...? Now? Not when-” then it clicked “oh- oh. No! NO NO! Damien- please-” Elijah was standing in his room now, getting a robe on. He had to get someone.

“Elijah- I’ve made up my mind. Pleas- don’t try to talk me out of it. You can’t- and- and it will only hurt more.” 

“Like hell I can’t! Where in Portland are you? Stay on the phone with me-” he paused to shout “VICTORIA! VICTORIA! I NEED HElP-” Damien could hear the desperation in his friends voice. He’d almost never seen, or heard Elijah cry before. This hurt. 

“Elijah I’m sorry. Please don’t worry- please don’t look. I love you, so fuckin’ much. And- I’m sorry this is the last thin you’ll hear from me. I figured after everythin’ you’ve done. Everything you helped me with. You’ve always been there, and always could make me smile. I love that about you. I love your eyes that make me feel safe, your freckles that just add to your child-like wonder. You are an amazing man. Promise me you’ll never change.” 

Elijah was silent for a while “I love you too, Damien. You’re my best friend. Please.. I can’t lose you like this.”

“I’m sorry- goodbye Elijah. I hope you have the amazing life you deserve. Even if I’m not in in.” With that, he stood up and hung up. 

Damien was found unconscious, less than an hour later by an elderly woman, who rushed the young man to the hospital. He attempted to overdose on painkillers, but luckily was taken to the ER in time to save his life. To this day, he doesn’t know the identity of the woman who saved his life. All he knows is she wanted to go by ‘Granny’ on all his reports. 

Five years down the road after that horrible night. Damien found himself getting dressed for work, in the small apartment he was renting. His hair grown out, and scars healed. He was in a much better place now. Yes, he still struggled, but he was doing better now. He had friends who he considered his family. He had a job, even if he didn’t like it much, and he had a roof over his head. 

Damien had plans for the future now too. He was going to go to college and become a social worker. He was going to help youth who were in the same position as him. He wanted to be something to help give them hope. Hope that he desperately needed all those years ago. 

He was also going to get back in touch with Elijah. Or so he planned to. One day. 

Life was better now. He knew that. And while thoughts of suicide still lingered in his mind, he was able to push them to the side, knowing how much things can change. And wanting to be around to see his own life become better. 

[pinkbarefacedbeauty]

NS fanfics

Listen. I just want a fanfic that ends the way it should be. Naruto ‘saved’ Sasuke at the valley of the end after the 4th war. Sasuke doesn’t remain this evil guy who seeks to separate or kill Naruto, Sakura and the village again (even though he had valid reasons for why he wanted to). Sasuke is not an obstacle between Naruto and Sakura because he was not interested in a first place. (I see a lot of SS/NH shippers say that NS seem like siblings, but that is just not the case.  When I think of SS and NH all the feelings are one sided on Sakura and Hinata’s side respectively. Even though Sakura is canonically older of the three, Sakura reminds me of a girl who has a crush on the handsome older neighbor guy who is friends with her friend, Naruto who has a crush on her, and Sasuke in the equation treats her like a little sister. Absolutely NO INTEREST. Let me get back, I want Sasuke to have not gotten off lightly, but I also do not forsee him wanting to stay in Konoha. I want the truth about the UCHIHA MASSACRE to be revealed. Itachi is dead and gone, it is time for Sasuke to have justice and not people looking at him like he had no reason for doing what he did to Danzo. Plus it would be nice if people recognized just how much Itachi sufferred to protect the village (JUSTICE!!)

I want Naruto and Sakura and whomever else to be complacent in the fact that Sasuke isn’t going to go around doing evil things and let Sasuke travel around with Team Taka until he feels ready to come back to Konoha, and when he does feel ready he adopts Juugo and Suigetsu as Uchihas and they move into a compound in or just outside the village (I do not think Sasuke would be fine mentally to go back to the Uchiha compound so maybe he gives that as an orphanage space for kids who lost their parents, ect,), but Karin doesn’t want to be adopted because she loves him and they explore their relationship and talk out their issues/feelings. (SASUKARIN) 

Also Orochimaru is NOT given a pass to roam around Konoha freely and he is not given a pass to EXPERIMENT ON HUMANS which is what he was exiled for IN THE FIRST PLACE. NARUTO and the village as a whole are NOT OKAY WITH THAT. Orochimaru is under heavy surveillance, not doubting Yamato’s prowess but maybe chakra restraints on Orochimaru, idk the dude (?) is weird.

MEANWHILE 

Naruto and Sakura just as what was shown canonically hang out in Sasuke’s absence, occasionally meeting up with the other teams, squad leaders (funny Gai and Kakashi Inserts, Iruka (Iruka does not look 70, he looks as he should- younger than Kakashi). When they meet up with other teams, Naruto remembers Hinata’s confession, and feels that before he can confess to Sakura he goes to HInata to show her gratitude for putting her life on the line for him twice but tells her he cant return her feelings as his heart already belongs to one woman (just as Jiraiya did). (Also since NH like to try to spout BS about Hinata being a healer, maybe she actually healed Neji until more professional help came instead of just watching him bleed out right in front of her-a medic no matter where is supposed to heal, periodt!),  Neji is ALLLIVEEE.

After one particular outing, Naruto walks her home (not being forced but because he wants to) everything is calm and Naruto finallly confesses her feelings, he even tells her EVERYTHING, about disguising as Sasuke to kiss her. He either leaves to let her collect her thoughts but tells her he wont stop wooing her. Sakura does not need to react then and there. She starts to think of everything he has ever done for her, him encouraging her and protecting her and more, remembers the times Sasuke even told her how much Naruto cared like the gaara fight. How he is her motivation to become stronger. She thinks about how she had to revive him TWICE, how his heart was and is in HER hands and knows that they complete each other. Heaven and Earth symbols galore.

She finds him the next day (training with Kakashi/Tsunade or whomever as works on studying to become hokage (he is a good fighter, but needs to learn more leadership and hardships of a leader.-> I actually didn’t mind Kakashi as Hokage I do wish he did cooler things or was more badass as Hokage but I like the Idea of Tsunade passing down the mantle to Naruto.) SHE asks him on a date.(Now you know how symbolic this is). They walk together, Naruto fumbles/doesn’t know where to put his hands in nervousness until she uncrosses her arms from behind her back and takes hold of his hand with a blush on her face. Maybe a little clip/ image of their younger selves holding hands/walking together as they did. (I love younger Sakura’s cute little green dress).

Further down the line, Naruto reminsces about meeting Sakura’s parents for the first time and how accepting they were and no cliches about Mebuki knowing or being friends with Kushina. (Becasue i’m like why weren’t they more around Naruto even though his parentage was a secret anyone could look at his face and know that he is Minato’s child and thus Kushina’s, especially if they were close friends). OR maybe Mebuki remembers when she had invited Naruto over for dinner once or twice way when they were genin and she noticed how their personalities complimented then but said nothing because she knew Sakura was so Sasuke- focused then (I don’t like adding to much noncanon things but this is not bad). --MAYBE RTN COULD BE INPUT HERE INSTEAD to satisfy the whole meeting the parents concept.

On a Hinata note,  watanukisakuya has a good idea for rewriting the Last movie. This would show Hinata’s growth and ability to do something without thinking about n-n-naruto kun. I rather a badass mother and clan leader Hinata than a housewife (no offense to housewives but this is the ninja world hunny). I do not know who she would end up with but I admit to being biased to KibaHina ShinHina or maybe someone from within a clan. It would be cool if it was a lower branch member (not Neji they are cousins), and work to end the slavery (She sves her own family, especially out of gratitude for Neji, no help needed from Naruto).

The wedding

The night before I do want Naruto’s swing in frame (XD) think about his lonliness and the waterfall training with Bee when he thought about his anti self, to how much love he is receiving now and how happy he is. This would essentially be in Naruto and Sakura POV. This doesn’t need to take 40 minutes of characters finding gifts, but be focused on NARUSAKU’s journey together. Naruto thinks of all the people who have helped/supported him. I did like Iruka standing in as his father. I want Naruto to think about his parents and their sacrifice so that he could be here. Sakura remember’s Minato request of her to take care of his son and promises to do just that. Tsunade and Naruto thinks of Jiraiya.

Beocming Hokage

They do have their son Shinachiku, Hanami and Hanako, and Lastly Arashi. (Shinachiku is already born and twins are on the way, Arashi has not been concieved yet).

We finally get to see Naruto become Hokage.  Yes, Shikamaru is his advisor. (Even though I hate the Boruto series, I love the idea of a bond between their children).

 Naruto has to deal with the after affects of the war. Addressing smaller villages concerns about 5 nations having all of the power and wars that essentially hurt small villages the most. War relief fund set up between all the big villages to help smaller villages. (I do not know how to manage the ideas of the Daimyo’s v. leaders of villages yet.) Though Hinata would have dealt with Slavery in her clan, I would like their to be some failsafe that Narutoo put in place to make completely sure. I want Naruto to make sure that there is never another Danzo.

Sakura deals with the strains of motherhood, being a wife, and the head of the hospital, helping run the orphanage w/ Team Taka and Ino in the old Uchiha compound.

Naruto the Next GEN

It would not be titled after new character. Everyone did not pair up and have babies at the SAME TIME. Sasuke would probably have had a baby first out of everyone with Karin. I think NaruSaku would follow. Maybe Ino has a baby by the time NS are on the twins. SOME Pairings babies would be the same age, give or take a few months, but split up ages amongst the rest. 

Pairings:

Naruto and Sakura

Sasuke and Karin

Shikamaru and Temari

Chouji and Ino

Kiba and Amaru (met on a mission)

Tenten and Rock Lee (I’ll admit I like RockTen or NejiTen, idc)

Neji and whomever, i’m still thinking

Hinata and ex-lower branch member (or Shino or Kiba, I like Amaru with Kiba too though)

Hanabi and Konohamaru

(Though there is peace times, I will think that there would be a few strangler bad guys, but nothing that they can not handle, and there is still the matter of the rest of the otosuki. NO NO ASTRONOMY. I hate it. No trains. No futurama look to the village, Leave it as the same aesthetically pleasing rustic village look)

(Ninjas will be ninjas so people will still train, if not only to just defend themselves and keep the tradition alive (like dojos) but yes some people do fall off on being ninjas. Not as many people want it.) There are more jobs though.)

For some reason, I have the impression that the world of Naruto as we know it is not the entirety of the globe, so there are still other villages (Yes, they might have been caught up in the infinite tsukuyomi as well without knowing whats going on)..I don’t know if the other villages are evil or not etc)

More to be added later...

[legisaskerator]

vent vent vent

buckle up bastards this is gonna be long as FUCK

holy fucking shit my life yhas been so goddamn hard recently and i’m not handling it well

first and foremost on my mind at this second is the fact that i am in so much fucking pain right now i do not know what to do. my EDS is acting up really really badly and i’m super bedridden right now. i took my last vicodin and i have no idea when i can get more, or how, and i have like nothing to help. i had to leave class today to weep in the fuckin bathroom because i can barely walk and even sitting up is a struggle. if i felt this sort of pain three years ago i would have likely considered doing something VERY rash to stop it and i’m amazed i’m still, almost functioning. i can barely think i’m in agony i want it to end

i’m so scared this is just the next turn that eds is taking. i know i wont ever get better but fuck, i dont want to need a mobility aid yet. i’m only fucking 22 i have to be a teacher!!! how can i fucking teach if i cant write on a board?? or maneuver around classrooms? how will i ever get a job? or even just. live in the house of my dreams. i wish there was some help for me because i am tired of ehlers danlos running my life. i am scared for my future. i cant imagine who i will become if this level of pain becomes my “normal”. someone move me to mass so i can get legal weed to try to numb myself

on the same path of injury, my mother recently injured herself very badly and was hospitalized for a little w hile. ended up needing surgery to put rods and screws and plates in her leg/ankle, and as a result, she’s not functioning for the next 12 weeks. i’m doing my best to help out aroudn the house and i’m filling in for her at work. she does advertising for a newspaper and brings the papers to subscribing businesses,, which i’m taking over now. at least i like driving?

i love my mom and i will do anythign to help her, but god it’s such a load on my shoulders. i’m  upset and frustrated because i’m strugtgling to balance my life around this sudden responsibility. it’s definitely not her i’m upset about, it’s not like she did this purposefully??? she needs the help and i am willing to give it. but i am also allowed to feel these emotions. i am upset at the /situation/. her boyf and my sister are barely helping and they’re neglectful and distant. i’m the only emotionally present one in the family and also (aside from mom) am the only nurturing, caring one in the household. i keep her from having panic attacks, i keep her anxiety down, i’m warm and i try so goddamn hard to make sure shes ok. but it’s exhausting. i’m keeping my family together it feels like, everythings crashing down and i’m the only “sane” one. which is sad because ive been a depressed wreck for weeks and have been working on scraping myself off the fucking pavement, trying to get out of the spiral. i’m scared that my mom relies so much on me. she tells me everything, things i don’t want to hear. relationship troubles primarily. i know i give great advice and am ~wise beyond my years~ (thanks trauma) but, that’s what her therapist is for. i’ve told her i wish she would, tell me less, because as her daughter it’s uncomfortable, and she always overreacts like “oh i’ll never tel you anything again if it’s so terrible then” and i end up feeling fucking awful, and it’s a nightmare. but if things keep going the way they are in their relationship (i’m not gonna spill deets because, privacy still) we might lose our house!!! and everything we’ve finally worked for!!

so i feel like, if i can’t fix this problem, it’ll be my fault our lives come crashing down.

i know that’s ridiculous. it’s not my job. 

but it still feels like it

i never feel like i’m doing enough. just in life in general. i’m not good enough i’m not working hard enough i just am not enough. i was very saturated with child prodigy shit when i was younger and that fucked up my psyche so much. it’s still thrown at me by my father, americas got talent and movies where the protag is a ~genius~. i hate it. ill never be that and i know that’s what my dad wants of me. i’m not the next bill gates i just want to be a teacher and live my life!!!! i don’t want to start a band and get famous!!!! i dont want to run a business!! i don’t want to revolutionize the world!! just let me please! follow my heart!!!!!! i can’t fucking stand it when he tries to tell me what to do with my life it makes me want to scream and wail and sjafkl; fd fjasfg;akldf

i can’t do this, man. 

i’m so alone. i’m sick of the slut life. i’ve been hoeing around for a year and it’s taking a massive toll on my self esteem and sanity. i’s a terrible coping mechanism and i’m very very not healthy about it. i only have sex when i’m heavily under the influence of something and use it as a way of getting attention, which is, awful. i often forgo protection because it’s ~inconvenient~ and the second a guy protests, i’ll cave because i ~live to please~ and don’t want to start shit. i can’t keep doing this. hooking up is the only time people ever touch me. i just want a fuckign hug sometimes

i keep seeing so many posts like “you can’t love another if you don’t love yoursel!” and “people aren’t your medicine” but what if??? they can be to an extent?? part of being uber depressed is self-isolation and i’m so, sick of it. i need some fucking comfort because right now i am suffering through my life alone and it’s so difficult. it’s not as easy as just, settling though. i’m picky with my lovers because?? i deserve someone good? everyone that’s been coming through my life like, has a fatal flaw that i just can’t do. like long term compatability is risked for me with that shit.like, too introverted, too emotionally distant, people who just aren’t smart, i can’t do it?? i just want someone who’s going to comfort me when i need it, who i can have a healthy debate with, and someone who respects my life choices and things i do. 

i’ve been talking to one guy recently who, i was hoping maybe could have been a potential. he’s super nice and considerate/respectful, hes HELLA smart, adores a bunch of the same stuff i’m into, we talk really well together, i feel comfortabgle around him, gotta say he’s hot as fuck too...and he just wants friends with benefits. I respect that. i was in a similar spot literally last semester, there was a pretty great guy but i just wasn’t in the right space for a relationship. so friends with benefits. i don’t blame this new guy for not wanting a relationship he has every right!! but oh god it hurts a little. i worry that it’s me, that i’m just a good pussy for him, or a convenient lay who’s down to clown like 99% of the time. he’s been talking to me less recently and i’m worried that he’s...done with me. idk if that’s true or if i’m just reading into it but i’m in a VERY vulnerable place right now in my life, and i really need someone by my side for it. i need the support and warmth. 

i wish my warmth would comfort me. i wish i could turn my nurturing attitude around and help myself. i wish i didn’t need smoene else for comfort. i’m a fuckin libra tho i live for romance

this guys’ great though. i hope he sticks around at least for a little bit longer. i want to learn more bout lovecraft.

my sluttiness is my biggest qualm with myself right now. it’s definitely a huge problem in my life, it’s actively causing me problems. my one friend (because, i have only one fucking friend i can actually talk to. that’s it i hAVE ONE i’m so goddamn l,onely) has been like, coaching me through making better decisions? i’m very impulsive and he’s got great advice and is quick to be like “then don’t” and shit. i’m trying really hard to make sure i dont use him as a therapist though, that’s unfair to him. i’m respectful and all that shit don’t worry bout htat. he’s a huge help to me and has been my absolute rock through college, idk where i’d be without him. he also introduced me to his friend group, who are all really amazing people? they welcomed me with open arms and no ones ever done that before. i’m always super outcasted cause i’m weird and i wont hide it because it’s ME goddamnit! but these people, they’re weird too, they’re freaks and outcasts and, while they’ve all been very close friends since they were wee tots, they still welcomed me in. they still wanted me to be part of them. i’m getting to know all of them still, but i’ve got hope that, maybe i’ve got some lifelong friends now. at the very least, i’m sure i’ve got one. 

onto phase 4 of my fuckin monologue i guess, topic SHIFT

my thesis is a mess and it’s due in three weeks, i’ve barely gotten anything done because my teacher is awful and i’m worried i’m gonna fail the course

which would be SUPER bad because, i’ve had this teacher too many times and we do not get along, she loathes my existence, and i really just need to get out. shes partly the reason i need an extra fucking year at school and i always DREAD going to her class. it’s humiliating and discouraging to spend three hours every monday there. no one else likes this professor, they’re only here becuase the school loooooves the researchers and writers. complaints dont matter. all of my other classes are fine but this one has been probably the worst, most emotionally devastating class i’ve ever taken

i don’t even get to write about a topic i want. i was forced to write about the play i was in, instead of Monty Python like i wanted (it’s a fucking comedy class!!!!!) the play is about SCHOOL SHOOTINGS (we won some national awards teehee it’s an outstanding play). yes it’s a “black comedy” but not really? it’s a drama with comedic moments? and i KNOW THIS cause i’ve been studying comedy with this professor for like three cumulative years at this point. i’m struggling beacuse there’s zero research, zero information, and has to be over 20 pages long??? like fuck? i’m so fucked

anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk. i’ve been wanting to make a vent post for like weeks but i haven’t had the time or energy and , i really needed to just....get this out. i feel a little better having all the words down. there’s still so much else going wrong in my life that i could talk about, all the car troubles, my other classes, dorm shit, but, it doesn’t matter in the light of these issues. i can get through this. i just gotta keep fighting. 

oh and if anyones like, worried, i’m not suicidal, i’m not going to do that, there’s no chance of that hpapening. i’m in a very bad place but i’m never gonig back there if i can fucking help it

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Home Sweet Home

Masterlist

You and Clark make the most of your time together and you clear up some confusion.

Warnings:Adult situations, Smut, Fluff, swearing

A/n: soo here is some Clark smut I have been working on hope you enjoy xx

Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @iloveyouyen​ @magdelen69​

Home Sweet Home

Over the past months since you had returned home Clark hadn't managed to get out to you as much as he wanted, silly really you had no problem with it. But he couldnt help wanting to spend every moment of every day with you. He still made it out every weekend without fail. Tho he was cautious ,used to being able the fly in to his mother popping in and out whenever he pleased, but he couldn't do that with you not if he wanted to keep up the apearance of being a regular human. One who had to make a three hour journey to see you over the weekend, he had a system in place making it seem like he left work on friday and came straight to see you then left sunday early evening to get back. Each week you told him he didn't have to make the trip and each week he'd laugh it off telling you to stop being silly, if only you knew the trip took around a minute.If he was having a slow day. The worst part of the week was waiting around his mothers few hours before crossing the field to see you. As terrible as it seems sometimes he is thankfull that Superman is needed it makes the time go quicker.He tries to busy himself but most of the time he just waits it out in his mothers kitchen he had tried staying in the city but prefered being closer to you.

 Just hearing the lull of your heart thumping away, or the soft humming you did singing when writing listening to music through your heaphones put him at ease. Sometimes if you had your headphones up loud he would sneak across and watch you work smileing to himself at the cute 'bopping' you did when you really got into a song a few instances getting up from yourseat having a little dance when you made your way to refill your drink. You rarely wrote around him saying you didnt want to waste the time you had together on work. Which was a shame, there was the other smaller things you did that made him smile the way you'd poke your tongue out wetting your lips as you concentrated or furrow your brows when a word escaped you,you'd start listing rhyming words out loud just replacing the first letter until one fit and made sense. He had learned early on when he crept over to make sure his phone was on silent as you'd text him occasionally asking him for synonyms when you couldn't manage to find something that fit.

But his absolute favorite bit was when you would squirm and blush, aroused at your own words, he'd hear your pulse pick up watching as a flush rose across your face you'd normally sip at the ever present coffee or juice that sat beside you, or nibble on the snack you had beside your computer. Something about seeing you work yourself up made him shudder. He would smell your arousal then suddenly you'd pull away from the screen fanning your face or covering it with your hands giggling whispering to your self 'was that to far' and 'lucky bitch I fucking wish'. He'd have to leave when this happend unsure if he could control himself. But when this did happen he always knew that when he came around you'd be biting at the bit to tear his clothes off and fuck him in the hall and on the stairs and the landing where ever you could, once it nearly happend on the porch... Not that he minded but you had freaked out when your lust addled mind heard the combine in the field and realised you was straddling his half naked form in just your panties on the porch. Either way times like that you rarely made it to the bed room. Well thats not strictly true you did once but that was because you lost track of time and thats were he found you, in bed legs spread hips rocking onto one of your toys. He had counted down the seconds that time sitting in his mothers kitchen tapping his fingers impatiently on the table watching the clock, willing time to move faster growling. Much to his Mothers amusment, she could guess what was going on and couldnt help but shake her head feeling a little sorry for you as she watched his face get more and more irritated ,reminding her of the tantrums he had as a child when he couldnt get his own way. His face glowered as he sat there and he listened to your wails of frustration as you desperatly tried to pound a climax out of yourself but couldn't. The only consultation was when he heard the various curses you threw at him turns out he had ruined you...And he couldn't help being smug about it. Hearing you from his mothers house trying to fuck yourself stupid was torture just like it had been that first night he met you. His mother had laughed the next time she saw you both saying she never saw him move so fast in his life, she had that knowing grin of hers as you both flushed and stutter..Martha had to much fun teasing you both making it worse she wondered aloud 'how there was any corn left in the field after the way he cut across it.'

He grinned walking up the stairs to the porch he juggled the bags of groceries opening the door to the house kicking it shut softly behind him slipping off his shoes as he entered. He smiled as he heard you the music from your headphones, you had been working tirelessly today making sure everything was finished. It was Sunday and to your own annoyance you'd gotten your dates mixed up and had to have your new draft completed and emailed in by tomorrow for checking then beta reading.

He walked into the kitchen dropping the groceries on the counter, choosing to let you continue your work. You'd had to send Clark out to do the weekly shop alone. He shook his head hearing you growl at the computer screen in living room. He sighed it was a shitty computer to be fair ,super slow and out dated. He didn't see why you wont just buy a new one, when he brought it up he always got the same answers 'everything is how I want it on here... I know where everything is...I know how it works'  he rolled his eyes hearing you grunt at the pc, turning quickly put away the groceries it was best to let you get on with it. It had only been three months since the party but it felt so much longer in a good way you were both absolutely enamored with each other, your relationship was very much sweet and cheesy but neither of you would change a thing. You'd given him a key five weeks ago to all intents and purposes this was his home to you'd even moved all the spare clothes he kept at his mothers and placed them in his own designated side of the walk in wardrobe so he didn't have to always bring a bag each week.

Finally once everything was packed away he stepped through the door to the living room seeing you sitting staring intently at the screen scanning the documents as you flicked the mouse wheel searching for something. He smiled taking in the rare sight he loved watching you work it was the only time you wore your glasses; which he found incredibly sexy even tho you hated them, you thought they made you look older than you were. You felt his eyes and turned to face him and blushed at the sweet smile he had, leaning against the door frame arms crossed he pushed off the door walking towards you. You smiled apologetically at him slipping off your headphones as he came closer.

"I'm so sorry honey...I feel like I've ignored you this weekend...I'm nearly done tho and will have a few weeks off as they proof read it" he shook his head at you

"Don't worry munchkin" he grinned at you and placed a packet of your favourite biscuits on the desk beside you leaning in kissing your head. Your face lit up as you saw them, dark chocolate biscuits covered in white chocolate...

"I got these for you and I was thinking of doing pasta for dinner" you hummed placing your hand on his forearm leaning your head against it as he moved rubbing your shoulders.

"But I do Clark..We dont get much time together and I hate having to work when your here." he sighed as you pouted at him.

"Well I love seeing you work...It's the only time I get to see you in these" you scoffed as he poked the rim of your cat eye glasses, rolling your eyes you shook your head"I hate them." he nodded

"You might but I think they are very sexy anyway you carry on and i will go put dinner on then we can relax for the night" you huffed stealling a glance at the clock in the corner of your screen. Three pm. you sighed youd been at this since ten this morning you had saved your drafts all over the place and had to re-read many of them to make sure you was sending the correct ones out.

"No leave it I will do dinner just give me ten minutes-" he stopped you in your tracks with a raised hand and soft sigh

"No you do dinner every week I'm going to cook for you tonight" you smiled at him. This man was so sweet you couldnt help the warmth flood you, he made you feel all weak and giddy. He made to move away but you caught his wrist making him look at you.

"Thank you...But I promise to make it up to you after dinner" a slow grin formed across his face you could feel his excitment mount and kissed your lips tugging your hair back forcing you to moan giving him the access he wanted quickly lapping at your tongue nipping and sucking at it grunting as you tried pinning his down falling into a teasing battle. Which he won as usual slowly and reluctantly you pulled back sighing, one kiss was enough for your stomach to twist and your center to ignite. he pulled away retreating to the kitchen with a wink. You licked your bottom lip and twisted in your seat to carry on moving the files around into order as you heard him move around the kitchen. After another fifteen minutes of checking and double checking you smiled and moved opening your Gmail and began typing one out to your publisher attaching the book in order chapter by chapter. After sending it you waiting for the sent icon then switched off your external hard drive that held all of your writing and back ups.

Just as you closed everything and stood at full height behind your chair stretchering out your legs, headphones still in place you sighed moving the mouse then swore loudly.

"You? what are-OH MY GOD NO! NOOO! no no please you cant- YOU DON'T DO THAT!! FUCK...FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!" At your shouts Clark moved to the door watching as you frantically clicked your mouse he then saw the problem. A bright blue screen staring back at you. He shook his head he told you needed a new computer. You leaned further curseing as you computer died before your eyes.

"You-fuck you fuck you fuck you in the ass!" You growled and ripped off your head phones and sighed placing them on the desk glaring at the computer hanging your head sighing frustrated.

"That sounds like an invitation~" He moved quietly walking towards you and quickly sloted himself tight against your bent over form making you gasp cast a look behinde you going to stand straight but he stopped you with a slow hand pressing on your back keeping you in place making you flush. But quickly shook it off looking at the screen before you.

"Clark? Clark! oh my god Clark fix it- save it please you can can't you? is it salvageable? I swear you can fuck my ass if you fix it! " He laughed out loud at the way you casually offered your ass as collateral. He grabbed you placing both hands on your hips keeping you bent over the chair and looked to the pc.

"I'm afraid that is the blue screen of death...And I wont be able to fix it babe" He held you securely. You groaned at his remark whining dejected turning your face to him looking at the pc.

"Nooo... It can't...I don't want a new one!" you felt him hum grinding against you slowly. and just like that you were ready to go your blood pumping hot in your veins your pussy tensing preparing itself for the inevitable. You wanted to jump him there and then.

"Well I'm afraid you have no choice now munchkin, it has died" Your whine became a gasp as he moved finding a perfect spot to have you squirming, gyrating his crotch on your ass you shook your head and pouted. You leaned back as he arched over your form and kissed his jaw, wanting to make him as hot and bothered as you. He grunted humping his hips against you making reveling in your broken moans and breathless gasps. He felt your body humming to life withering against him.

"Wh-what am I gonna do? I don't know anything about this tech stuff" he smiled unable to resist moving closer to you letting you reach up and nuzzle his neck. His cock held snug between the two of you, so tight you felt him throbbing despite the thick jeans he wore, he groaned as you clenched your ass squeezing him lightly.

"Well I can help you there, I will find you a replacement" You dragged your lips across his skin and licked at his pulse then sucked harshly giving another firm squeeze with your cheeks making him moan Breathlessly. He fisted his hand resting it on the top of your ass. You giggled feeling him completely hard against your ass and wriggled hell bent on have a quicky befor dinner. He quickly brought his hand down making you hiss as the cotton did nothing to protect you from his open palm you whimpered when he kicked out your feet spreading your legs making you feel the damp cotton on your slit, your needy little center weeping onto your shorts now that you were held open. He smirked smelling your arousal then pressed harder. Not to be out done he tilted down pressing his balls to your mound searching for your clit and was rewarded with a high gasp as he found it. You jumped up trying to escape him but to no avail his palms held you still and the chair infront of you was wedged tight into your hips giving you no wiggle room. Without wasting anytime he moved insistently grinding on it relentlessly.

"Will-Fuck CLARK! will you-ca-clam down for a second?" he chuckled still moving against you in a teasing rhythm you sighed. That was your answer then.

"Cl-clark will the ne-oohh fuck please!" you begged quickly tensing holding the desk for dear life dropping your head hissing and grinding back on him as his jeans caused a delicious friction against your pussy. the rough fabric almost chafing you despite your shorts

"Yes love?"

"F-Fuck you! oh UGh! God please please? dont-YOur a shit! Will it be the same?" he huffed out a laugh enjoying the way you wriggled below him still trying to slip out from under him, dipping his face to you kissing behind you ear then huffed a deep breath to the shell of your ear. Your moans got higher and more desperate as he set a firm steady pace on your throbbing clit making you shudder your insides clenching tight with every drag of his hips. You were close he could tell from the way you trembled, legs unsteady the only thing holding you up was the back of the chair holding your hips high for him.

"I'm afraid not love, computer's don't come with xp anymore...How you have kept it running for so long I have no idea... Your new one will have windows ten" you groaned loudly slumping forward panting trying to push yourself back to him wanting to match his pace, or better yet beat it. You were so close feeling the heat pooling just above your pussy traveling down. You could feel yourself building fast and doubled your efforts unable to keep quiet as you tried to ride him into your climax with a frantic pace.

"OH OH-fuUUCK yes please please yes C-ClaAARK?!" you all but cried as he moved back just when you was about to cum. He chuckled patting your hip and retreated as you twisted round questioning him. You growled when you was met with a smug grin.

"Come on love dinner should be ready we can talk about it later for now lets try to forget it hmm?" you grunted and moved your hand to your shorts fully intending on finishing yourself off but he caught it shaking his head

"I dont think so~ you stay just as you are and we can continue after dinner" you gapped at him. What? you had to sit like this for dinner, blushing you tugged the shorts out of your ass he wrapped you up in his arms again kissing the top of your head. You sighed casting one last glance at the screen. There was nothing you could do tonight he moved back to the kitchen to dish up and you removed your glasses placing them on the shelf at the pc.

After dinner you found yourself putting the dishes away. He hummed twisting his head watching as you bent over to the bottom cupboard putting the pan's away. He bit his lip watching your tiny shorts rise up high almost disappearing between your cheeks, they rose high enough that it was clear you had opted to forgo any panties today... Fuck your ass was perfect. He was actually annoyed over the fact that he couldn't fix your pc, he would have definietly held you to your word. He licked his lips groaning as the creamy skin of the bottom of your cheeks peaked from the floral cotton shorts. His dick twitched uncomfortably in his jeans still excited from earlier wanting to just shuck down the flimsy shorts and use your perfect little body, fuck you till his heart content. He smiled slyly and silently he moved behind you. You squeaked as you felt him press himself tight against your slit and tugged pulling you out of the cupboard moving you into a slow rocking dance sucking at your neck, hands moving across your hips to your waist pulling your top up as he went catching the underside of your wireless sports bra, you didn't resist as he pulled them both completely off dropping them to the floor.

"Clark? whats gotten into you?" all you got in response was a dark chuckle by your ear as he bit at it making your toes curl and your heart pick up. You tried turning to face him but he just hummed at you smoothing his heavy palms back down across your skin cupping and pinching your already hard nipples still swaying slowly then trailed them to your waist making you shiver.

"I remember someone saying they would make this weekend up to me after dinner~" you shivered at the teasing tone he used and tried turning to him once more. Only for him to hold your pebbled nipples using them to force you still and grinded his bulge up and down the crack of your ass.

"Yes but not in the kitchen!" he hummed then looked around and grinned.

"Why not? the only room we have left to christen~" his tone became low and reverberated through your chest making you groan as memories of all the different rooms you'd fucked in flashed through your mind. He was right kitchen and loft attic. You'd even fucked in the basement when trying to sort out the fuse box after a powercut. The old 'is that a torch in your pocket or are you happy to see me?' resulting in a quick fuck against the wall.

Before you knew what was what you were being sat on the dining table you blinked...How did he move so fast?. Clark cursed himself for letting his eagerness get the better of him but brushed it off, if he ignored it so would you. Hopefully. Before you could dwell on the movement he had pressed firmly against you, tugging your legs wide around him making you moan grinding against him. You were still wet and wanting from earlier and didn't want to waste time on foreplay now, squirming in your seat threw dinner had made you impatient. Too impatient.

He laughed as you grabbed a fist full of his hair tugging him down into a furious kiss trying to get your point across. He was quick to dominate your mouth he angled his head to kiss you deeper groaning irritated as the move made his glasses rub the bridge of his nose. Smiling you moved your hands up and pulled his glasses out of the way sliding them across the table. You took a moment to admire him, he was stunning you'll admit you loved him with them on, it gave him a shy and sweet nerdy vibe and made him less intimidating. But without them. My god he was breathtaking so fucking UGH! he looked like a sin itself and had the nerve to still have a boyish charm, that had your insides quivering each time he flashed a smug little grin. He had a face people would pay surgeons millions for and it was all natural! how the fuck?. You moved your hands to his face moving slow you rubbed the slight red on his nose where the glasses had rested, he smiled closeing his eyes as you did he always enjoyed your loving touches. He moved down to your face twisting down to devour your mouth again this time uninterrupted by the glasses. You grunted letting him do as he pleased with you even helping him when he shuffled moving his hands to the waist of your shorts, with a few quick tugs you were sitting but ass naked on the table. You felt him smirk into the kiss pulling back taking in the view of you panting, needy and stripped waiting to be ravished by him.

He moved fast shedding his clothes kicking his boxers off behind him then quickly tangled himself around you again bending one of your knees up placing one foot on the table beside you. Spreading you open for him, he swallowed as he saw your soaked center as much as he wanted to feast away at the puffy lips he was far to gone, his teasing eariler had him on the brink already he needed to be balls deep asap. He took the small steps towards you moving his hand probing at your wide open slit moving smearing your arousal across you, always checking before diving in he didn't want to hurt you. You screeched as he teased your boiling little bud, it felt ready to burst; you was ready to burst wanting nothing more then to fall apart at the seams around him. He moved closer still running the crown of his weeping cock across your center. Resting his forehead on yours watching with dark eyes as your mouth formed a perfect 'o' keening and mewling as he kept a fast pace on your clit moving from rolling and plucking the tight button then tapped it. You whined panting faster as his fingers toyed with you, moving you locked eyes with him. The heated gaze was what drove you into your first orgasm of the night, you loved when he watched you, it made you feel dirty and sexy. Your body froze arching up and quaking, shivering moaning high and broken. Just as you began to come down he moved to capture your cum on his cock running it across your spasming center dipping in slowly hissing as the heat scorched his swollen head."Best not let that go to waste huh babe?"you moaned loudly and bucked towards him unable to form words making him smirk watching you tremble as the small stimulation made your climax last longer your pussy fluttering trying to swallow him.

"F-FuUCK CL-CLark please please I..I can't wait oh-AHNO!...UGH-STOP te-teasing meeee" he chuckled against you pressing a chaste kiss to you then slowly he tilted himself before grunting thrusting into you making your give a strangled moan.

Tho you still struggled with his size and he had the internal struggle of holding himself back as not to use to much of his strength. You had both become more confident, he knew just how much you could take at once. He'd found that he wasn't the only one who enjoyed a bit of pain. You tried catching the breath he had just fucked out of you as he quickly forced himself into your tiny heat pressing the last of his cock into you, your body yielded accepting him slowly. You cried out as he finally settled himself.

"FUUCK! fuck babe your still so tight~ such a good girl for me so good...fucking waited all week for this, I hope your ready?~" you moaned at his words he held himself still gritting his teeth, he had to pull himself in taking a second to maintain his control lest he moved too hard and snap one of your bones or something. Finally he opened his eyes then with a deep breath pulled back and began a slow deliberate pace making sure to catch your swollen little bud on each upward thrust making you yelp and withered below him.

He always love the small little gasps you made, the way you tried keeping yourself quiet it always made it sweeter when he forced you to scream for him. Connecting his mouth to yours he swallowed your breathless pleas as he moved back and forth. You feel hot and prickly as your nerves ignited you felt yourself clenching him, muscles working overtime as he put your body through its paces yet still your wonton pussy was inviting him deeper ,fighting to spread your legs further for him. He smirked seeing the frustration in your eyes as you tried to open your legs further for him, he pulled you closer to the edge of the table making you fall back on and your foot slipped. His hand ceased your knee and held it high keeping you stretched out for him, once he was sure you were secure he moved faster groaning as your walls tensed clamping around him as he began to pound away faster and harder with jerking movements. You closed your eyes tears rolled down your face as he kept going driving you higher and higher making you body twitch and tense. You screeched as he moved one hand to your chest cupping and squeezing your breast then he pinched your nipple pulling making you arch up into him the movement let him sink further into you as he fucked himself right into your cervix; something that you now craved, you loved it feeling the tiny pop as he forced himself as far as he could go. The way as soon as he felt that happen he seemed to rut into you with renewed vigor, like a primal need to breed you overcame him. It always made you weak, pushing you into a lust fueld frenzy as you tried mtaching his pace.

"Fuck y/n uUGH SHIT fuck your so good SOOO FUCKING GOOD YESyes thats it....AGH CUM! Yesyesyes shit I-CAN haha YO-YOUR TRYING ARENT YOU?" He ground out and alternated between grinding harshly making sure to press his pelvic bone on your vulnerable clit, and fucking you beyond what you thought was humanly possible.

"I can feel it! UHHGG YES BABY FUCK! CUM CUM NOW!!" You Obeyed screaming out gripping the edge of the table and curled up towards him tense as he forces you into your climax you shook bringing up your other leg as you gyrated against him unable to control yourself.

"Fuck-OOOHHH GOOD CL-CLARK yesyesyesyes please dont-dont stop love dont stop AH!" you panted throwing your head back as he fucked you through your orgasm, he was quick to cup the back of your head so you wouldnt hurt yourself as you shattered around him. He wasnt far behind you, his own end was creeping up on him he could feel it in the way his balls tghtened, the way your body was cramping around him made his cock twitch. he movements became sloppy as he groaned louder and louder.

"Fuck...sh-SHIT BaBE I'M GOnna FUUUUUCK YES THATS IT TAKE IT!" you wept when he rutted up into you one final time. He swore feeling squeezing his eyes tight then bit his bottom lip as he felt his eyes warm the tell tale tingling of him loosing control again he held himself still tuckjngnhis chin tight to his chest willing himself to calm down as he filled you. You shivered as he released, finishing as deep inside you as he could get then he held still you lolled back you twitch feeling his thighs quivering against you. You moaned weakly feeling his hot cum shoot up into you and smiled at him reaching up for him. He sighed finally feeling the tingling in his yes recede then opened his eyes slowly looking down through halflidded eyes and smiled panting. He moved kissing your knee softly then nipped you winced at him grunting reaching for him, he chuckled seeing how fucked out you were and lowered his face kissing you deep it wasnt long as you were both still out of breath. You blushed running your hands across him making him shudder as your nails tickled his sides. . He moved over you his hands molding to your sides tucking his head into your chest breathing you in ,you blinked tiredly moving to draw over his back he moaned and relaxed groaning out.

"I love you woman" you moved and racked a hand through his hair scratching his scalp making him groan contently. You poked his cheek and held out his glasses to him with the other.

"I love you to baby...come on up" you said patting him he grunted and moved to stand and carfully dislodged himself from you making you wince. 

You tried to jump down and ended up yelping curling over holding your lower tummy. Although you may have both gotten used to sex and always enjoyed it, you still had light pain afterwards much to clarks regret. He looked down sympathetically

"Babe?" You waved him off and slowly stood straight resting one hand on his chest as he crowded you you whined taking a step which made him frown. This was what he hated about your size difference the hour or so of pain you endured after. He scooped you up making his way tothe stairs muttering apologies which you scoffed at, he moved to the bathroom medicine cabinet and pulled out some paracetamol offering you two. You took them quickly as he turned running you a bath. You sighed watching him fuss over you placing a towel on the heated rack for whennyou bet out and he added your favourite bubble bath to the water. He stopped leaning on the tub beside you.

"Im sorry, I try not to get carried away" you rolled your eyes

"I wouldn't have it any other way clark, I love you,I love our sex life! And besides its not as bad now as it was...we just have to keep at it....Wouldn't be the worst thing in the world now would it?" He smiled at that then placed you in the water sitting on the floor beside you. You giggled when he hissed as his naked ass touched the cool tiled floor.

"You know you could probably just squeez in with me~" he gave you a pout.

"Okay maybe not....we should get a bigger tub, a deeper one. One that covers my knees and tits!" He bellowed a laugh at that and nodded.

"I will put it on my to do list..really I've got to get some tools around here and make a start" you moved around the tub grabbing an exfoliating mit soaking and wringing it then began washing yourself.

"You got a wash cloth in there babe?" You looked at him seeing him staring at his glistening cock.

"What not do not tell me you have been using these ones? Clark? These are used on my face!" You gasped at him he just blinked at you

"I rinse them after" you sputtered at him.

"No! fucking get a new one from under the sink...The black one use the black one for that I don't want your cum on my fa- NOT A FUCKING WORD!" He snorted raising an eyebrow chuckling at your bright red cheeks and quickly got up fetching a new black cloth from under the sink and stood infront of it washing himself off still laughing out of the side of his mouth shaking his head.

"Any way what do you need tools for I'm not letting you change the bath over if thats what your getting at" you said moving to wash down your now soft legs. He kept his back to you but turned his head still wiping himself down.

"No I wont touch the plumbing, but the barn needs to be painted, theres a few loose boards on the back of the house and some tiles on the roof are missing, you also mentioned wanting a few planters out the back and a patio which would be nice for the summer then we can decorate our room-" he froze and blinked cutting himself off and took a breath.

"Y/n I'm sorry its just I'm so comfortable here and I forget this-" you cut him off as he tried to backtrack his own self consciousness rearing its ugly little head.

"So what did you have in mind for our room?" He looked at you stunned for a second trying to process what you said.

"You don't- I mean its not my house so" you frowned turning to him

"Look at me dumbass...My home is your home, you might not be here full time but its still your home. I thought I made that clear when I gave you the key. If I didn't then I'm sorry but I am now. Clark I'm in this for the long haul and I can see us making a life here together so why not have your input on the decorating we have lots of rooms to do as you can see I have only done the kitchen,  hall and living room.. The living room isn't even finished and don't get me started on the garden" he stood speechless he hadn't thought you felt like that, sure he stayed here and had made himself at home, he treated it like a home but for you to say it...It warmed his heart honestly standing there now he could see it, in years to come living here full time with a small army of your kids running... flying about the place between here and their grandma's house across the way.

"So what did you think about doing in the bed room I want to keep the paneling but lighten it up...make it fun you know? that dark wood is horrendous"

"Well I thought of keeping the wooden panels repainting them white to match the floor and on the wall above it having a really bright vibrant wallpaper like something tropical like the parrot wallpaper or just palms" You smiled nodding it was pretty much what you wanted but you was going to paint the wall above teal.

"I like the idea of the parrots that would be really nice we could have a tropical theme" he stood there grinning unsure of what to do with himself he was still reeling from the revelation that this house had become his home in such a short space of time and it truly was they always did say home was where the heart is he definitely understood what they meant now, his own apartment seemed empty just bricks and mortar.

He was kicking himself in a way, if he told you he was superman he could come home whenever he liked! Hell he would make the move and stay here full time tomorrow if he could, its not like travelling to work was going to be a problem. But no he decided he would wait until at least six months had past just to air on the side of caution unless something happened where he had no choice but to reveal himself to save your life, which reminds him he did want to let the league know who you were soon so they could watch out for you just like you were all doing with Bruces new girlfriend and her little brother. He jumped pulled out of his thought by you waving your arms around infront of his face.

"Ah sorry love what was you saying I spaced out a bit there" you nodded giggling at him he really had.

"Welcome back...I asked if you wanted to jump in after me? Im almost done" he shook his head at you

"No I'm all sorted for now will have a shower when I get back tonight. Now you stay up here and get ready for bed we can watch tv for a while before I have to leave. I will go and clean up downstairs and get you a wheat cushion" You moved your head from side to side contemplating

"Actually I was hoping to come back with you...Im going to have a few weeks off now before I have to start writing again so thought I could stay with you for a bit" his face lit up at the prospect of having you with him for a few weeks

"That would be great! We can get you a new computer...maybe a laptop would be better either way there's bound to be better deals in metopolis then you can get used to it by the time you have to start work again" you smiled nodding.

"Sounds like a plan what time is your train"

"Six fifteen we should be at the apartment by nine thirty" you nodded that gives you around two hours to pack a bag and get ready. He leaned over giving you one last kiss then left. You stared through the open door as he made his way to the bedroom, watching his pert ass as he moved you pouted knowing he was going to go throw on some clothes,it was a shame he had to cover that glorious ass. Once he was out of sight you laid back in the tub you couldn't wait to spend a few weeks with him and then to come home and start turning this house a home for the both of you.

[broken-heartedgirlff]

Chapter 30~ Girls Need Love (Part 2)

Giselle

“Mommy, when we go back to Daddy’s house? He needs help.” Mason asked me, sitting in the back of the car.

We had just parked to get Angel from school, and he’s been asking me about Dominic for the past few weeks.  

“Do you miss Daddy?” I asked quietly

“Yes, he need help, I help him.” He told me  

“I’ll call Mawmaw, and see if she can take you to Daddy.”  

Was it selfish to take our kids away from Dominic? Very. I can’t justify what I did, I was angry, and upset, I’ve been thinking about it for the last three months. I couldn’t leave without Angel or Mason, but I couldn’t be in that house anymore. I needed my time away. It was suffocating. 

I didn’t want to take the kids away from their normal life, so I got a loft just 20 minutes away from Dominic’s place and Angel’s school. I just couldn’t live in the house that much longer.  

Had I really talked to anyone besides the kids? Not really. Everyone stopped calling me after the first week, which I am glad about. I do know what’s going on in the family though.

Just as Mason was about to say something else, a knock came at my window, It made me jump. It was Jeremiah, so I rolled down the window

“Uncle J!!” Mason screamed excited

“Hey, Little man, you good?” He asked.

Mason nodded, “You with daddy?”  

“No, He’s at home right now, I’m here to pick up Sage. Gi, can I talk to you?”

I sighed, and got out of the car. “Mason, stay in your car seat. You hear?”

“Yes, momma.”

I closed the door, and stood there in silence.

“See, you wont even look at me, you know you wrong.” He scolded.

“What do you want me to say?” I shrugged

“You know, if you keep leaving and coming back, he’s going to get tired of that. He’s really going through it right now.”

“I know, but-“

“But what Gi?” He sighed exasperated.

I shrugged, I didn’t truly even know all of my feelings towards the situation. I just knew I was tired of Katie and her manipulation and her demands. I only did what I knew how to do best. Run away.

J sighed again, “You know Lizzie is still in the hospital with Zoey, and she is worried, you know she would very much like to see you.”

“I know, I talked to her. I planned to go see her soon I guess.” I said messing with my nails.

I heard him chuckling, so I looked up and he was staring at me.

“What?”

“You’re the same 16 year old girl obsessed with Dominic…. You love him just as much as he loves you, but when you get scared, you revert back to that same little girl. Come to your senses, and go home Gi.” He said before kissing my head and saying bye to Mason.

By the time Jeremiah left, Angel came to the car and we got in and drove off towards our apartment.

“How was your day?” I asked her.

She shrugged, and looked out the window.  I knew something was bothering her, and I knew it was best to not pressure her.

“Did you know Katie was pregnant?” She mumbled.

“Yes.”

“Is that why we left?” She asked again

I sighed, “Yes.”

She shook her head, and started playing with the ends of her hair. The nervous tick that I have, except with my nails.

“Why do you ask?” I asked her  

“Sage overheard Auntie Liv talking to Lizzie and Rose about the baby. Katie had it and it lives with daddy now.”

“Oh, how do you feel about that.”

She shrugged and spoke very monotone, “I don’t think anything about it. I don’t care about anything anymore.”

“Well, I promised Mason that I’d get your maw maw to come get you to go see your dad. Would you like that?”

“No, thank you.” She said before putting her headphones in, and blasting music

I knew she had shut down and there was no way getting to her.  

Angel

After the car ride with my mom, and getting to the house, I don’t even know what to think or do. Every single time that my life is going perfect, something comes and messes it up. And it all has to deal with Katie.

I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone more than I hate Katie. Not only is she the reason I don’t live with my dad, but now I have another sibling, that isn’t Mason or DJ and my dad is now taking care of it. It makes me feel just like when my mom came back with Mason, how mad I was. But this is worse.

My dad had a whole baby with someone who tried to kill him, my brother and my aunt. If she could’ve I know she would’ve tried to kill my mom too.

I went straight to my room, and just laid on my bed. I didn’t really feel like talking, I just wanted everything to be good in my life, but it never is. Hell, Sage is getting her parents back, why cant mine just do the same thing.

I honestly don’t think that I’ve ever been so angry with every adult in my life. It’s not fair, I’m always the one that doesn’t get attention or I get dismissed. My mom left when I was a baby, and I didn’t really grow up with her, but she raised Mason. Then i finally get to have a relationship with her, for her to take me away from my dad…. and now he’s raising this new baby.

Sage showed me a picture of it, it did kind of looked like me but it has sandy/black curly hair, and she told me that she was only a few days old. I was unimpressed by it. She even told me it’s name:  Andrea. All I did was shrug. Sage told me to not be mean, but isn’t that funny because she did the same thing with Aiden, but now she likes him. The thought made me roll my eyes.  

I wasn’t kidding when I said I don’t care, and as long as it lives with my dad or it’s alive…. I will never care.  

Lizzie

Finally after about three weeks, the doctor said that I could take my baby home. They gave me antibiotics for her and told me to watch her carefully as she was still sick. I was extremely excited to get home, because I was sick of these four walls. Jax and Eva were supportive but they weren’t exactly much help. I knew they were both out of their comfort zones and decided to leave me be, which I was glad for. 

As I was moving around slowly, packing up everything, a knock came at the door.

“Come in!” I yelled not really paying attention

“Wow, I can’t believe my little sister is really a mommy now, got her first hospital scare down for the books”

I turned around and I smiled, I instantly hugged my sister.

“I missed you,” I said to her

She laughed, “I haven’t been around for about a month, but it’s fine.”

I punched her arm, “I don’t give a fuck what’s going on with you and Dominic. Stop running away and not telling no one, you have to stop doing that.”

She laughed and rubbed her arm, “I’m sorry, where is my niece, I want to see her.”

I smiled and walked over to the carseat that held my baby. 

“Here Lizzie, I got her, why don’t you sit down.” Gi said putting the carseat on the bed, while I sat down.

She took her out to hold and instantly started smiling. “She looks just like you.”  

I smiled, “She’s beautiful isn’t she?”

“She is. I want another one, honestly.” Gi said sitting down on the bed.

“Speaking of, you know Katie had the baby right?” I asked.

I didn’t really know how Giselle felt about the whole thing, but I know it wasn’t good for her to leave Dominic, high and dry.

She sighed, “Yeah, I know. Sage told Angelique and she’s been in a mood ever since about it. Mama C took the kids over to see Dominic, and she told me that she barely talked to Dom or even looked at the baby. But I don’t know if I should talk to her about it.”

“I mean, I don’t know, but you don’t want this to turn into a bad thing or a resentment thing. With Dom or with you.” I spoke

She shrugged, “I don’t know what I want to do. Katie’s mother contacted me, and gave me adoption papers for the baby.”

I was confused. “What?”

“That’s what I said. I would’ve never thought that she would give up parental rights, let alone let me have them. And I don’t feel comfortable adopting a child, and I’m not even on good terms with their father. This whole thing is a mess.”

“Sure the hell is.”

Dominic

“Angel, can you warm up your sister’s bottle?” I asked her, Andrea was screaming her head off and nothing I did worked.  

I heard her smack her lips. “No.”

I turned around and looked at her. “Marie, I don’t know what your problem is, but I suggest you fix it, I need help Angelique.”

She rolled her eyes, “ I suggest you give that baby back to wherever it came from. I don’t have a sister.” She moved past me and went upstairs slamming the door, making a now quiet Andrea….. wake up and start screaming all over again.

Mason just looked at me and the baby, he shrugged. “I like baby, daddy.”  

I smiled “Least someone does.”

Just then the doorbell rang, “Mason, I’m sure it’s maw maw, can you open the door please.”

He nodded and ran to the door. I sighed and tried to rock the baby, but it just made her cry.

Being in a wheelchair and raising a newborn baby. Is equivalent to hell. No help majority of the time, either. Is another set of hell.  

This is honestly the worse part of my life, and did I need a newborn baby? No. But I love her nevertheless. As soon as I saw her, I fell in love with her. But she wasn’t quiet like Angel was, and hell I raised her all by myself, but at least I could fuckin walk.

I was trying to get her to stop crying when I heard her say:

“You should swaddle her, and it’ll make her stop crying.”  

I looked up to see Giselle standing in front of me. She reached for the baby and asked “Can I?”

I nodded and handed her Andrea, and she instantly stopped crying. I was shocked, Giselle then swaddled her in the blanket and slowly started rocking her.

“You’re a natural.”  

“Comes with the territory of being a mother. Mason was just as loud and fussy as a baby.” She mumbled.

“What are you doing here?” I asked her.

I hadn’t seen her since we got into that big argument… then she moved out and that was about a month ago.

“Mama C couldn’t come pick them up, and you bring them home so, here I am.” She said giving me back the baby

“Are we ever going to talk about why you left?”  

“You don’t think me throwing a knife at you is enough talking?” She said picking with her nails  

“I apologize, I overstepped that night. I went below the belt and I shouldn’t have. So, I’m sorry.”   I said.

I was sincere, I did go overboard, but it was because I wanted a reaction out of her. I wanted her to do something or show that she cared, and i pushed her too far. So she left me. It was childish, but I wanted a reaction, and that’s exactly what I got. I can only blame me.

She cautiously looked at me, “Thank you, I apologize for throwing things at you, especially with….” She trailed off looking at my wheelchair

“I’m slowly but surely getting back to walking. I should be up and running in less than a year my doctor said.” I told her,  

She smiled, “I’m really glad about that Dominic. I’m happy for you.”

We kind of stood their awkwardly, not really knowing what to say to one another. That’s when Angel came back downstairs.

“Thank God Mommy, can we please go? I have a headache from this baby.” She said.

“Grab your stuff and put it in the car, and say Goodbye to your father.” She said handing Angel the keys.

Angel came and kissed my cheek, “Bye Daddy. Maybe when the baby isn’t here, we can actually spend time together.”

“Angel, she is your sister and she isn’t going anywhere. You can say bye to her as well.”

She scrunched up her face, “Ew. No thanks. Let’s Go Mason!!!” She yelled and ran to the car.

Mason came running right after her, “Comin Gigi!! Bye Daddy! Bye Baby!” He said kissing us both and running out the house.

Leaving Giselle and I, in silence.

“Um, I’m- Uh, I’m going-, I’m going to go?”

“Will we ever just be normal?” I said

“Dominic, we cant force or focus on us. You have to worry about your new baby, getting healthy, and I can worry about Angel and Mason.”

“Please get her with the attitude, I don’t want her to feel some type of way towards Andrea.”  

“She has a right to be upset Dominic. It’s the Mason situation all over again. I will talk to her, but I’m sure she will grow out of it.” Giselle said passively

“Thank you.”

“Oh, tell your baby mother, that I don’t want to adopt her kid. It was surprising to get served with adoption papers.”

“Adoption Papers? For Andrea? Why the hell would she give you adoption papers?”

“I don’t know, but I’m not signing them, so. Bye Dominic.” She said and walked out of the house.

Which, leave me alone, yet again.

I don’t know how much more I can take being in the house by myself, it’s depressing.

Olivia

I was cleaning up the kitchen, when the doorbell rang.

“Coming!!!” I yelled, I finished the last dish and ran to the front door and was highly displeased

“Why the fuck are you on my porch?” I spat

“I want my son back, Olivia!” Avery yelled.

“Bitch, I know I’ve been dealing with concussions and shit, but I know damn well you probably lost your mind speaking to me like that.”

She rolled her eyes, “I’m not afraid of you! I want my fucking son, you cant have him.”

I closed the door and I got in her face, “Aiden hasn’t seen you since when? How long? Are you back all of a sudden cause you heard Jeremiah moved back in? Or that we’re back together?”

I knew I got her, when I said that.

“You’re insecurities are showing baby. I’m a better mother to Aiden then you will ever be! I have been there even when J was still living in the loft. I took care of him like he was my own, and you want him back because you cant handle J and I together? YET AGAIN! Bitch get the fuck off my property before you end up in a body bag.”

I mushed her head and she stumbled back off the porch. The way she looked at me, I know it’s only gonna be trouble in the future.

“This isn’t over yet Olivia, I will get him back.” She said

“Well, bitch, you got to go through me first. Get the hell off my property.”

I walked back in the house, only to see Aiden standing at the window.

“Aye, why are you down here, It’s nap time with Marie and Maurice.” I asked him

“Was that my mommy?” He said looking out the window

“That was, do you remember her?”

“Some time. I member you and daddy most. Why was she yelling?” He asked, focusing all his attention on me now

“She wanted you to live with her, because you live in my house with daddy now.”

“You make me leave?”

I shook my head, “No, do you want to go?”

“No, I like Livie as my mommy.” He smiled and hugged my legs

~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner, and all the kids were asleep, I was sitting in Jeremiah’s room. Are we getting back together? Slowly but surely. We haven’t had sex, we go to counseling, sleep in separate beds- mine on the top floor and his in the basement, we go on dates. We are getting to know one another again.

Am I still hurt about his cheating, yes. We are working on getting the trust back. I think the only thing that’s holding us back is Aiden.

Dont get me wrong, I love Aiden as my own. I treat him like my kids, I whoop him just like I do my children. As far as I’m concerned, he is mine. But his mother will not go down without a fight. Especially now that she knows he lives here with Jeremiah.

“Why your face like that?” J asked me

Instead of keeping it from him, like I’ve done in the past, we are keeping everything 100 % honest all the time.

“Avery stopped by today.”

He instantly got mad, “For the fuck what? She hasn’t been involved with Aye in over a year.”

“I know that, but she heard were getting back together and that you live in the house with hi, and she came on some bullshit saying she wanted him back and all that shit.”

“What you tell her?” He asked me

I shrugged, “I told her get the fuck off my porch, don’t come back, Im more of a mother to him than she is. And what makes it worse, Aiden saw the whole encounter. He asked if I was going to make him go with her, and i said no. He told me he likes me as his ‘new mommy’”.

“How do you feel about that?”

“I feel the same way. I want to make it official though.” I finally spoke my true intentions

“What do you mean? Make what official?”

“I want to take Avery to court for Full Custody and I want to Adopt Aiden as my son.”

[setoonaredpanda]

Photo Negative

Petra had been looking around as subtly as she could wandering down halls and through doorways. She turned down a hall, walked through a doorway pretending to admire the paintings up for auction as she went. She was near the end of them when she spotted guards standing much farther down the hall. Petra walked back through the door frame and straight into a taller gentleman throwing her off balance, she looked up at him apologizing to find his gaze wasn't on her but looking back past her from the direction she'd just come.

"Excuse me, you look familiar, have we met?"

"No, excuse me."

He didn't look at her at all.

"Wait, I'm sure we've met."

He looked her over as if examining her full worth like she were one of the shop items. The glance was brief but seem to take her in and judge her valueless in seconds.

"No we haven't, you're mistaken, good-bye."

"Are you sure? Please if you only give me a moment I'm sure I'll know where I."

He cuts her off.

"Are you deaf or stupid, get out of my way Valeria."

"My name's Petra."

"It's, I don't care who you are!"

He attempts to push past her.

"Maybe I was mistaken, maybe I don't know you, excuse me."

She mutters "He looks so familiar though."

"Stupid girl, mind your own business."

He then brushes past her nearly knocking her over as she was thrown off balance again by the unnecessary force of his weight moving her.

"Valeria Strom what a beautiful name, like I've heard it before but?"

She trailed off not able to finish why the name had popped into her head. Strange she had felt so sure she knew his name like it had been there at the very tip of her tongue.

Who are you, She thought.

She quickly headed back to find her sister. Petra found her sister Allison.

"So did you get your scoop?" She asked Allison.

"What scoop?" Allison slurred.

"What do you mean what scoop? On the guy Grayson who is supposedly involved in human trafficking that scoop?"

Allison's eyes remained glassy, but she spoke up. "I met the most attractive guy. His eyes were so lovely I just wanted to take him home maybe show him a good time." She smiled at that.

"Are you drunk?" Petra fumed.

"No, I think Graydon can wait let's have fun I'm going to fine that guy."

"Oh my god how much have you had to drink?" her eyebrows knit together in a scowl when she saw the empty bottle near her feet. "A bottle of champagne are you serious? It's Grayson not Graydon, the guy you've been fanatically obsessed with for the last 2 months trying to get this story." her sisters wouldn't meet her eyes. "What is wrong with you?"

"I think I wanna sleep with him."

"What with Grayson?"

"No the guy I was talking to earlier."

"Have you been drugged?" Petra shook her.

"hummm?" Allison sounded distant.

"That's it I'm calling you and Uber." She pulled out her phone. "Tom, I need you to come get Allison someone put something in her drink. I can let her story get away you know she'll never forgive me."

She heard him say he'd be there in 15 minutes or so. "Ok. Thanks. Allison I need you to sit down and wait here for Tom. I'm going to look back down that hall one more time."

Petra hedged slowly down the hall over towards the doorway leading to the hall with two guards standing outside of it. There were fewer people in this end of the building and the paintings ended well before the doorway leading to the hall with the guards. Still she tried to look lost and confused as she wandered down the hall towards them.

"Excuse me do you know where I could find a restroom?"

"This is a restricted area, you have to get back to the area with the other guests immediately or you'll be removed."

Petra plucked up her courage and tryed to stare this man down

"Is that anyway to treat a guest of Mr. Grayson's?"

At the moment she said it a man emerged from the door.

"We're sorry sir we'll have her removed immediately."

"You heard the lady is that anyway to treat my guest? Young miss, sorry dear I've forgotten your name?"

"Allison," Petra blurted out. "Allison Dawn"

"Allison is my guest this evening, she'll be joining me for dinner tonight after the art auction. Won't you my dear."

"Yes absolutely."

"Yes sir of couse sir, we didn't know you had a special guest."

He grabbed her wrist and guided her down the hall.

"That was plucky, trying to lie to my own guards, do you have a death wish?"

He stopped pulling her along the hall they were quite alone standing by a door with an exit sign above it.

"A death wish no sir. I just wanted to meet with Mr. Grayson, well you sir to discuss."

She turned to look at the door it sounded like a car pulled up. As she turned back he was practically up against her seeming to breath her in like you might perfume.

"I like plucky girls they always seem to be real fighters."

her eyes got wide shit she thought this was actually a really bad idea, a really bad idea, like now she'd be getting off'd by a mob boss bad or raped or.

He spoke.

"Won't you join me for dinner and drinks?"

"I uhh left my sister back at the auction, she'll be worried."

"I'm sure she'll get along without you."

The way it sounded as he said it like there was a double meaning like she would need to get along without her for more than the night. she backed up a little towards the door.

"You know, tell you what you can ask me anything you want and I'll answer truthfully."

"Tempting, but I think," her hand fumbled on the doors bar to open it. "I'll pass."

"No, you wont." He said flatly.

His arm circled her waist and he pushed her out the door. There was a limo waiting with a door already opened he shoved her in and closed the door behind him the vehicle immediately started moving and she heard the doors locks click.

"So ask me anything."

"Are you planning to kill me."

"Oh most definitely."

"Great now that that's out of the way, what business are you in the mob, human trafficking? With all the disappearances."

"Oh no nothing so Germaine, the people that disappear around me are for far more amusing reasons."

"Then how did you aquire your wealth?"

"Magic," seeing her face "No truly there are so many things in this world that humans will never understand never even get a glimpse of, well and you my dear won't get to see any of it."

"I should be terrifed right now but I'm still laughing that you believe in magic."

"Laugh while you can you'll be dead before sunrise. I will enjoy watching the demons peel your flesh from your bones while you scream."

She took a steadying breath.

"But how does it all work?"

"A wallet I got a very long time ago."

"Ok, where did you get it?"

"I stole it from a child, a long time ago, see I was a homeless beggar on the street, hungry, dirty, tired. I watched her leaving a sweets shop, little hands filled with candy no idea what it is to be hungry, I saw her glance over at me then look away. She dropped the candies into a little purse. She didn't know what it was to be poor and hungry. I followed her down an ally and smashed her head in with a rock I hadn't meant to kill her but I didn't feel pity either. When I pulled the purse from her body only to find to my surprise it turn into a wallet in my hands and when I opened it up expecting sweets instead I found 1000 dollars waiting for me perfect crisp bills. I spent it that first day on new cloths food a bath lodging I woke up the next day in a bed believing I was still dreaming but no, and the wallet had refilled as I slept. The little girls mother when they found her body, so heart broken." He clicked his tounge, "I eventually tryed to pay her but no matter how much I offered her it wasn't enough she said she couldn't be bought, so I started an insurance company that specializes in the death of children. Children that are sick, or at risk. She maybe, couldn't be bought but I've found everyone has a price. The wallet has refilled everyday since I acquired it."

"Wait you didn't literally try to pay a women for murdering her daughter did you?"

"Oh, people sell others out all the time for lots of reasons, insurance, to get away, jealousy, there are a thousand reasons. I've found a great many problems can be solved with someone's death. Sometimes it's easier to kill someone and pay a family to not ask questions, its always been easy enough to pay them off, offer enough and they don't complain."

"What business did you say you where in?"

"I didn't."

"You're insane."

The vehicle stopped.

"Ah we must be here, I quite enjoyed that haven't talked about that in years."

"What murdering chilren?"

"What a thing to say? No the wallet dear, and try as I might gamble it, made quite a lot that way, invest it , spend it straight out, it faithfully refills everyday at the stroke of Midnight what ever timezone I'm in."

"Like I said you're insane."

"Come now let's go inside I'm sure my pets are hungry."

[singingpeople]

Undoing

Chapter 5

 *Warning: This chapter may contain trigger*

@beautifulramblingbrains @pathybo @tigpooh67 @jojuarez26 @iammarylastar @lets-play-truth-or-dare @deepfrz @carefultheyspit @vitaevandal @bookwarm85 @mom2reesie @kellieabro @lauraaan182 @readsalot73 @beltz2016 @you-wont-let-me-let-you-go @frecklefaceb   @tomarisela

They told me once "There's a place where love conquers all" A city with the streets full of milk and honey I haven't found it yet, but I'm still searching All I know is a hopeless place that flows with the blood of my kin Perhaps hopeless isn't a place

Nothing but a state of mind They told me once "Don't trust the moon, she's always changing" The shores bend and break for her And she begs to be loved But nothing here is as it seems

Nothing here is as it seems

 - Good mourning, Halsey

 Getting all the food into the factionless sector was complicated enough in itself, facing not only all my former friends but also my ex and the man whose room I occupied, the one who was present at the worst moment of my life, was pure torture.

Just to my luck, it was the turn of the dauntless initiates to watch over the abnegation handing out food, even the transfers were here. After a mere two weeks of training, I wouldn't hand them a knife and certainly no semi-automatic weapon. But knowing Eric, he´d gotten bored with their training program and decided to change it up a little. For a man who prided himself in thinking rationally, his temper was awfully active while making rash decisions. This was certainly one of them.

 The man himself, of course, wasn't here, either too busy with paperwork or not interested in playing babysitter. But maybe he just stayed home to enjoy the company of one of the women he taunted me with. I knew I had left him and that it was my own fault but crawling into the bed of the next best dauntless not even seven days after he brought up marriage… felt like someone turning the dagger in my chest, only pushing deeper.

For him I had stopped existing the night I send him away and like it seemed, my friends shared this sentiment.

 Ever since I walked into the hall where the majority of the factionless lived, every time I handed out a package with food, I could feel their stares on me, drilling into my body, taking in my new appearance, judging me.

Macy hadn’t spared my one glance after recognizing me, instead turning away to walk over where my brother stood, getting up onto the tips of her toes to whisper something into his ear. Turning his head, Aiden´s gaze met mine with a coldness that managed to freeze the blood in my veins but instead of averting my eyes, I waited until he looked away, disgust written all over his expression.

 Feeling my stomach fall, I refused to let my emotions shine through, using one of the first lections Marcus had taught me over dinner, that letting your own feeling hinder your ability to help others was utterly selfish. And if I wanted to prevail in my new faction, at least until I had accomplished what I came here for, I would have to play my part.

Pushing every feeling away, I walked right past the others, ignoring the lingering stare from a dark-haired transfer that rubbed me the wrong way. Arriving in the darkest corner, it wasn’t hard to make out the form of the soldier that I had met back in abnegation. He nodded as a greeting and came forwards, accepting the envelope with the numbers I had copied from Marcus´ folders that I pulled from my dress.

 “Good job.” He told me quietly, giving me a tight smile before he left, unceremoniously pocketing the only thing I had accomplished so far before he disappeared between the other members. I watched him leave, sighing as I realized that I better get going. The last thing I wanted was another lecture from Marcus that would only make me feel worse about my current situation because there was nothing I could do to change it.

 With the care package in hand, I searched my surroundings after someone I could give it to, my gaze falling on a familiar face. My lips curled up into a grin, I approached the girl who would fit right into the rows of the initiates, her tattered clothes replaced by my old uniform.

She saw me approach and gave me a small smirk, taking the food I handed her.

“You look almost as good in that as I did… Almost.”

 “Uhh, a stiff with humor.” Wiggling her eyebrows at me, she pulled the piece of bread from the bag and took a large bite, chewing fast. It was obvious she was hungry but I refrained from letting shine through any of the pity I felt, sensing she was just like me, someone who detested showing any weakness.

 “What can I say, I´m unique.” I joked, chuckling quietly which made her laugh too. All the while making sure I wouldn’t stand out. Furrowing my brows, I realized I didn’t even know what to call her. “What´s your name?”

 She stopped chewing and threw me a wary look, almost as if she couldn't believe I would be interested. Knowing that I was raised in dauntless and how they treated factionless, I couldn't blame her for being suspicious. After contemplating carefully for a few moments, she finally spoke up. "Luna…. My name´s Luna."

 “It´s nice to meet you, I´m Casey.”

 “Likewise.” Giving me a tight smile, Luna waved her bag at me. "I have to get going… finding a warm, dry place to spend the night. Thanks for the food."

 "You´re welcome," I answered, giving her a last smile before I went back to the basket, giving out care packages to more factionless. Most of them were nice, even telling me ‘thank you', something I had never encountered while wearing black. Obviously, there was more to being abnegation than I had realized.

 I was just done giving food to an older man when I spotted the familiar form of Four patrolling the perimeter. He turned around and I inhaled sharply, the state his face was in deeply unsettling. His left eye was discolored, almost black from the force a fist had met his nose, scraps covering his lips and the space above his eyebrows. He looked like he had taken a good beating and I knew only one person that was able to inflict this much damage.

Turning my head towards the figure that appeared by my side, I questioned quietly.

“What the hell happened to him?”

 "You already know." Uriah heaved a sigh, folding his arms over his chest. "Eric saw the tape where Four asked you to come with him on the evening before choosing… the next day you deflected and he is hell-bent that he had a hand in it." Hesitating a moment, he added quietly. "Did he?"

 “Of course not.” Shaking my head, I met Four´s inquisitive gaze and averted my eyes. “I had my reasons…”

 “I guess so…” Uriah answered, giving me a small smile, bumping into my shoulder when I didn’t retaliate it. “You know, I´m sorry about what I said on the roof… about abnegation having no skills, that was stupid…”

 This time I laughed, rolling my eyes at him. “By now you should know I´m not resentful. Don´t worry, you weren’t all wrong…” We were both quiet for a few moments until his name was called and we turned around, Macy calling him over with a scowl on her face, even Aiden was watching the two of us with narrowed eyes. Sighing Uriah, scrunched up his face.

 "Guess I´ll have to go… I just wanted to say that you know how to rock the grey look, baggy and all that." He gave me a wink and a smirk while walking backward to my brother who refused to acknowledge me as a part of his family. Macy immediately started whispering furiously, pulling him further away from me.

I watched them with a sinking feeling, the last piece of friendliness I was surrounded with leaving with Uriah.

Sensing Marcus´ stare on me, I went back to work, taking one of the spare blankets to hand to a young mother and her child waiting for her turn but before I reached her someone stepped in front of me, blocking my way.

 I stayed silent, waiting for the dauntless to step out of my way but he didn't move. Slowly trailing my eyes upwards, I meet the stare of the same transfer that had been staring at me before with that provocative expression on his face, his crooked nose broken at least once, brown hair falling onto his forehead. The obligatory weapon in hands he was looking down at me, cocking his head and I immediately knew he thought he was better than me, that I, just because I was wearing grey was less than dirt in his shoes.

I knew it because it was the same one Eric spared all the people he deemed to be beneath him. And I fucking hated it.

 “Aren´t you the one from dauntless?” He asked, feigning ignorance. “Casey, right?”

 "I am." Forcing a smile on my face, I meet his gaze head on. If he thought he could intimidate me with that thing in his hand, I was sure he had no idea how to handle, he was wrong. And if he came to mess with me he´d chosen the wrong one. "What can I help you with?"

 “I was just curious…” The smile on his face was acid. “How does it feel?” When furrowed my brows, he specified his question. “I mean deflecting from dauntless must have been hard. From what I heard most will never speak to their families again, they´re considered traitors…”

 “Faction before Blood, isn’t it?” I answered, refusing to show him he had just managed to hit the sore spot. First survival rule in dauntless you´ll ever learn: never show weakness. Second one: play them. “But aren’t you a transfer, too? You should know what it means. Now, if that´s all I have things to do –”

I went to take a step past him but he cut me off again. Glaring up at him, the smile tugging up his lips contradicted the expression in his eyes.

This one, I realized, was the kind that would do everything to strive in dauntless without honoring our values. A perfect fit for Max´s new regime.

 “Not at all.” Sighing, he took a step closer, getting into my personal space. “I also heard you were living with Marcus Eaton… as well as rumors about you and Eric… seems you have an affinity for leaders. So my question, you only let leaders take a look beneath that rug?”

 His audacity had me exhale heavily and I stared at him for a moment before a too sweet smile took over my face and I stepped forward, my face only inches away from his chest. Looking up into his deep brown eyes, I let the desire of manslaughter shine through, my voice like honey. “Get out of my fucking way.”

 “What if I don’t?” He asked, making the mistake of stepping forward instead of slowly backing away with his tails between his legs, even swatting the blanket from my hands. With a gritted jaw, I looked from the cloth of fabric on the floor back towards him, my mind made up. Dauntless number three: Never pick a fight with someone that will crush you.

“What if I´d like to see what stiffs wear beneath those bags? I heard –”

 Sadly, I´d never find out what exactly he heard about grey´s because in the next second I had ripped the rifle from his hands and brought the heel up, sending it right into his nose that cracked with a satisfying sound, immediately starting to gush rivers of blood before sending him to the floor with one placed kick to his knees.

While the foolish transfer cried out in pain, I dissembled the weapon with skilled hands, letting the parts fall onto the floor beside him.

Bending done until my face was right above his and he stared at me through teary eyes, I gave him another award-winning smile and a reminder he should take to heart if he wanted to survive in the compound.

“Never challenge someone you don´t stand a chance against, idiot.”

 Straightening up, I smirked, satisfied that I had taught him a lesson he wouldn’t forget but the smile slowly vanished from my face as I found everyone staring at me in various stages of shock. My fellow initiates were staring at me as if I was the devil incarnate, my stomach falling with every disapproving gaze one of the members in grey send my way while the dauntless understood my reasoning. At least most.

Slowly shaking his head at me, my brother left the room followed by the one I had once called my best friends. Only Uriah, Lynn and surprisingly Luna had to suppress their smiles while some of his fellow transfers wore satisfying expressions that only fueled my former assumptions: he was an asshole.

 Slowly turning my head, I met Four´s deep blue eyes, his expression saying more than a thousand words. What the hell were you thinking?

Well, I wasn´t… Widening my eyes, my nonverbal answer had him shake his head but the slightly disappointed expression was suddenly replaced by hardness as he stared past me, his blue eyes cold. I had no chance to turn my head and see what had elicited the change in him before I was grabbed by my upper arm and roughly pulled away, fingernails biting into my skin. Startled, I couldn’t stop the small gasp from leaving my mouth while violently being lead out of the hall by Marcus who was staring straight ahead with his jaw clenched, the jugular on his neck throbbing furiously. Looking back, the last thing I saw was Four who had taken a step forward, staring after the two of us with an expression akin to panic, fists clenched at his side.

 Knowing that this was his father and he knew him best, as well as never having seen Four wear an expression like that, I knew I had fucked up. Badly.

 “Marcus, I –”

 “QUIET!” He bellowed, giving me a glare that had the blood in my veins freeze. “That was strike three.”

The door met the wall with a bang as I was thrown into my room, the ribs of my upper right side colliding with the wooden frame of the bed in an explosion of pain, the force taking my breath away. I had taken enough blows in my life to know he had just cracked one.

Rolling myself away, I landed on the arm Marcus hadn´t let go once, suppressing the blood flow with his viselike grip, harshly panting for air. I hoped he would have taken enough satisfaction, hurting me like this but when I looked up at him through blurry eyes all I found was unadulterated rage staring back at me.

“I´m sorry, Marcus. I –” I attempted to address the issue somewhat calmly but he was long gone.

 “Shut up!” He screamed, his face turning red. While I recoiled, hitting my head against the frame behind me, Marcus was frozen in the middle of the room with his fists balled and eyes closed, struggling to retain his composure. My hands started shaking.

 “Do you know what you just did? Out there?” Marcus ground out through gritted teeth, his face turning red in rage as he pointed with his arm towards the window. Shaking my head, because for the first time in my life I was too terrified to speak out loud, I pressed myself tighter against the wooden frame when he took a step closer.

Pacing the room, Marcus pulled on his hair like I had seen it Four doing a thousand times but the two men, I realized, were as different as night and day but all I could do is watch him talking himself further into his rage.

“You compromised not only yourself with your foolishly violent behavior, you made me look like a fool in front of these savages! They already think bad enough of my faction as it is but as soon as they hear about your infraction, the infraction of the girl I have selflessly taken into my own home, my four walls, to teach how to act as one of us they will think of me as nothing but a good-for-nothing blighter that is unable to lead a faction, nevertheless the government of our city!”

 The maniacal glint in his eyes made the ball of anxiety in my stomach curl even tighter, making it harder it to breathe than it already was after the hit I took. Maybe I should have interrupted him, tried to calm him down instead of cowering away from him but the paralyzing fear inside my brain made it impossible to form a coherent thought that had nothing to do with the urge to flee the room, the house and maybe even the faction itself. Marcus continued his tirade as if I was invisible. Oh, how I wished I was…

 “You made me look like an incompetent idiot in front of my good-for-nothing son that abandoned me the first chance he got, you ridiculed me in the worst way possible! He is the reason those rumors started, the reason why Matthews thinks she can take over everything I worked for my whole life!

I came here with nothing and I made this faction what it is: the real government of our city, not just one that is controlled by the likes of those blue snobs or black boneheads. Me, it was all ME!”

 Suddenly he started laughing, a short, breathless, insane laugh that made me realize what he really was: a megalomaniac who had been trusted to lead our government.

Marcus Eaton was insane through and through.

I had to get out of here before he killed me.

“Yes… I´m the one who made Abnegation what it is today. Not Brewster, the old bitch, not Prior with his self-righteous wife and traitor children, it was all me!”

 Using the moment, he was farthest away with his pacing, I scrambled off the floor and made a jump to the door. “No, you don´t!”

 My hand touched the doorknob when I was grabbed from behind and with immense force thrown through the room, landing with my back on the mattress but continued rolling until my sore shoulder and my head hit the wall.

Dazed, I tried to roll myself away while the whole room was blurring but was pulled back by my ankle. Feeling him strip the shoes from my feet, I kicked back but Marcus was too strong, pinning them to the bed while he started bunching my dress up.

The adrenalin flooding my veins had me fighting back despite my spinning head, there was no way I would let him defile me in such a vile way, not while I was still conscious.

 I managed to plant my foot in his abdomen and shove him away from me, I even managed to get off the bed but Marcus once again pulled me back, using the fact that I was standing to rip the dress over my head. Instead of pulling it down my arms too, he twisted it in front of my body and threw me back onto the bed, my face landing in the flat pillow.

Lying on my bound hands I had no leverage to get away and Marcus used this, keeping me pinned to the bed with his knee in my back.

 “People like you,” Marcus grunted, panting harshly. “or my son, you're just so ungrateful! After all that I´ve done for you, this is how you repay me? With shame and humiliation, just like he did… or his mother, the dumb cunt! Coming into my house, into my bed just to tell me what I couldn’t do!

There was only ever one way to put people like you in your place."

 Hearing his belt buckle, I helplessly sobbed into my pillow knowing there was nothing preventing him from exposing me completely, to use me any way he wanted. We were alone and no one would hear me screaming…

Dauntless never give up, but I wasn’t dauntless anymore… was I?

 But instead of pulling down my underwear, he pulled my whole body down until I was kneeling on the floor, my torso on top of the bed, keeping me there with a hand between my shoulder blades.

 “Yes, there was only ever one way…” He muttered, suddenly awfully calm. It had my heart race in my chest. “Just remember: This is for your own good.”

 I heard the whipping of the belt a second before the impact and the pain to register in my brain took even longer but when it did, I couldn’t help but scream out in sheer agony, having never felt pain like this in all my life.

But Marcus didn’t leave it with one hit.

 Over and over again the leather met the until now flawless skin on my back, splitting the uppermost layer until I felt liquid running down my sides that were violently heaving, trying to breathe through the pain that paralyzed my whole body. I thought the pain couldn't get worse but once again he proved me wrong as he shifted the belt after an especially vicious hit and suddenly it wasn't just leather anymore but metal that had me seeing stars, so severe was the agony that I was on the verge of passing out. I wished I did.

I couldn’t contain the ear shattering scream that had him strikes out an extra two times just to prove a point.

The noise of metal hitting wood as the belt hit the floor was almost lost to my ringing ears, all I could think about was the anguish consuming me whole.

 “Clean yourself up. Stupid bitch…” Marcus spat before his footsteps leaving the room were heard, followed by the door being closed shut. Not able to move, I could just pull my arms from the dress and slide down to the floor in some state of shock that was numbing my brain. The pain was still there, was still all-consuming but my brain must have hit the preserve button, leading me into a corner of my mind where the reality was far away, my eyes unfocused staring at the grey wall that hid my suffering from all the prying eyes.

If just Eric was here… he´d know what to do…

 Images of the two of us flitted through my mind like a movie on repeat and I let them pull me away, distract me from the harsh reality that my life had become.

I stayed curled up for a long time, the kisses from the belt on my skin spilling blood that was slowly running down my body was almost not felt over the searing pain the metal buckle had caused, leaving a deep incision in my flesh. Staring at the grey wall, all I saw was Marcus enraged and Four´s frightened face. Did his father do this to him too? For over eighteen years…?

He never told anyone, he was brave and stubborn and survived, lived through this hell on earth. I wasn't sure if I could do that, could survive another whipping like this. If I wouldn't get out of this house after initiation, I was done for.

This would be my undoing.

 The bench we girls all were perched on was uncomfortable and hard against my still tender skin. Head angled down in respect the other initiates and I were all waiting for one of the elders to get up onto the small stage in the middle of the room that was specifically for this occasion, the reading of the manifesto to mark the end of our initiation.

 The last two weeks have been hell for me. After spending the whole night on the cold floor, I had been able to drag myself into the shower, the warm water burning like acid on my skin. Opening the cabinet, I had realized for the first time what the disinfection agent was for and had used my left arm, the one I could still raise to pour it down my back, stifling my screams with a towel.

Of course, I wasn't excused from my duties, it would have raised too many questions but Marcus had me do paperwork and other stuff I could do while sitting down. I knew for a fact he did not do it out of nicety but to save his own ass.

It would have been my duty to report it, to make sure Marcus would serve his lifetime in the factionless area but the duty towards my old faction was so much more important. Because my sense of righteousness had me stay silent… as well as my own shame.

 All my life, I had been trained to defend myself, to inflict the person that wanted to harm me unimaginable pain, it would have been my whole life if I had stayed in dauntless. But I failed miserably, shamefully.

I was a coward.

 It had been so easy, breaking the transfers nose even though he was at least double my weight and physically in his prime. So why couldn't I handle an old man that was out of breath arriving on top of the stairs?

No, if this ever became public the future I hoped for at dauntless would be gone forever. There was a reason Four never spoke of it. Because he knew what the members would have whispered behind his back. He wouldn’t be the prodigy, he´d be just a weak little boy.

He just knew…

 People like Eric and my brother would have made fun of him, they already did. And I… I would have seen nothing wrong with it. After all Eric´s opinion had been my religion, I would have defended it with claw and tooth until I felt they had suffered enough for their blasphemies. But now, I knew that Eric had been wrong, that I had been wrong and I wanted nothing more than to tell Four how sorry I was. Even if he didn’t care, it was important to me. Maybe I would find a way…

 A movement in the middle of the room pulled me from my thoughts and I looked up to see one of the oldest members, an eighty-year-old man I had done the laundry for last week, scrubbing until the scab split open again, discoloring the nth pair of cotton bandages, step up onto the stage, helped by another member. Taking a seat on the chair that had been placed there for him, he was handed the paper that held the manifesto, squinting his eyes to recognize the letters that must have been blurring with the way his hand shook.

Having the oldest, and most certainly slowest, person of whole Abnegation reciting the words was somewhat fitting, the prospect of our whole life welcoming us with his brittle voice, like nails on a chalkboard.

 Another figure stepped up towards him and I immediately averted my eyes, just getting a glimpse at Marcus´ patronizing smile as he gazed down towards his people, hands folded in front of his pouch. Living with him has been an ongoing nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. Not being able to relax because I walked around the house on tiptoes, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Marcus to lose it like he did that day, kept me in a constant state of anxiety. I wasn’t able to sleep properly knowing he was just down the hall, that there was nothing that would stop him from coming into my room and take it even further than last time. I also couldn’t eat and what little I managed to get down made a reappearance whenever the distant sound of leather splitting flesh rose in my ears.

Until a few days ago, I was successful in hiding it but Natalie found me in the bathroom and the caring woman she was, ordered me to go to the doctor. Letting him take an extensive blood sample while refusing to undress me with the excuse of being not comfortable being close to naked around men, he found that nothing was wrong with me.

Except for one thing…

 “We are all gathered here today,” Marcus spoke up, immediately drawing the attention of everyone inside the room onto him with his charismatic voice that was pleasant to all of them, except me. I had seen the monster in him that could never be unseen again. "to celebrate the end of initiation, to welcome our initiates as members of our society. So that we shall thrive and prosper under their fresh, watchful gazes. That their hands that have yet to contribute their part to our community shall not be idle, but always lending, helping. That our new members shall be the epitome of our values, of selflessness, of self-denial.

Welcome them as fully-functioning members of our society, of the part they have chosen four weeks ago.

Faction before Blood.”

 “Faction before Blood.” Was echoed through the whole room, voices somber and thoughtful. I lacked behind but my lack of enthusiasm stayed unnoticed, after all, it fit right in. Stepping down, Marcus gestured towards the man to start reading, his gaze falling onto me like so often. He had to make sure I wasn't stepping out of line.

 Clearing his throat, the elder started reciting with a weak voice, having to stop ever so often because a cough attack rattled him. Cynically, I thought to myself that if he wouldn’t hurry up he´d die up there.

  "I will be my undoing If I become my obsession.

I will forget the ones I love If I do not serve them.

I will war with others If I refuse to see them.

Therefore, I choose to turn away from my reflection,

To rely not on myself

But on my brothers and sisters,

To project always outward

Until I disappear."

 He finished, adding the non-obligatory "Only God remains", joined by about half of the faction. It wasn't lost on me that our leader joined in. Funny, I had never seen him as a man of faith.

 The following part of the ceremony was the one I dreaded most. We had to stay where we are while the senior members all came to wash our feet, a symbol of hospitality and that we were all equal, that no one was too important to serve another.

I had hated feet with a passion for all my life and barely managed to touch my own. But let a stranger do it? Disgusting.

 It ended up being a woman I only knew from passing, the wife of a council member if I was right, that knelt in front of my exposed feet with a wet towel and a dry one, methodically but throughout cleaning the limb while I was cringing, before getting up and giving me a comforting smile. I would never, ever do that.

 The dark blue eyes watching my every movement had the underlying disgust vanish from my expression and I struggled to put on the emotionless mask I had developed over the last few weeks. No one should witness my shame, every weakness displayed could mean your ultimate demise, a target for whoever that wanted to hurt you.

I knew my someone.

 When even the last one of the initiates had shiny clean feet, we put our stockings and shoes back on before we were lead to the large table in the next room that was already stocked with our common meal, nothing more than bland chicken and unseasoned potatoes. The lack of enthusiasm, even while anticipated, made the whole ordeal feel ordinary, nothing special. There was no laughter, no alcohol, of course, nothing that portrayed the significance of this day for all eight of us. Not even a piece of cake.

It made me feel even smaller, more insignificant than ever.

I could already feel myself disappearing, swept up by a sea of grey that swallowed me whole. It was like slowly drowning – and there was nothing I could do, except taking it with a smile.

 I was seated to Marcus right, now that I was officially his personal assistant. He had gotten word from the other leaders that permitted his request without even speaking to me. They considered it an honor, a privilege to serve directly under their head leader and even though there was nothing I would have hated to do more, it earned me small jealous glares from the redhead whose name I had already forgotten again.

 Susan and the other two would move into a house that already held two unmarried women, while the boys would all share one house until it was their time to court a woman, make her their wife and move into a house of their own.

I, on the other hand, would stay with Marcus, in Four´s old room because he needed his assistant close by. I had kept a brave face when he told me but that night, I cried into my pillow that muffled every sound.

 Torn between the need to complete my mission as soon as possible and to be as far away from him as possible, I had decided to stay even though every fiber of my body screamed for me to leave, my back being the loudest one. I hadn’t made so many sacrifices to fail now. There was one person I had to protect at all costs.

 The meal was a somber occasion and I stayed quiet most of the time despite that it should have been the time we spoke up as adults, as their equals. But with Marcus beside me, I didn’t take the risk. The only perk our celebration had that we were excused from doing the dishes and I used the opportunity to flee the table as soon as possible. Exhausted, all I wanted to do was get away.

 The last sun rays were just disappearing behind the abandoned skyscrapers and I inhaled deeply, letting the chill evening air fill my lungs, lightening the weight that had settled in my stomach just for a little. I was thankful for all the peace I could get.

Especially knowing what was to come in the next few months.

 Searching my pocket for the piece of paper hidden, my fingers tightened around the worn-out edges and I pulled it out, staring down at it like I had done for the last four days, a small sliver of hope growing in my heart just to be nipped in the bud by the despair I felt. My fingers gingerly touched the black and white image, circling around the small bubble in the center of it, where a piece of Eric was growing inside my body.

My reason to not abandon the mission, so that my child wouldn’t grow up in a city full of ashes and hate, nothing left for him or her when they grew up. No, I couldn’t do that to his child, to my child.

 I´m going to everything to make sure you will grow up not having to worry about shelter or food, little one. Even if it kills me in the end.

I honestly don´t know what to say… sorry? :D I already hinted that this story won´t be an overly happy one and it won´t get much better in the chapters to come… I also don´t know if the scene was overly graphic, just tell me if you liked it (the portrayal, not the deed itself) or not.. feedback is always good :)

I´ll stop rambling now & go to bed… I honestly don´t know what I´m writing anymore… :D

Thanks for being so patient! And to everyone who read & reviewed! :)

[ofcateyes-blog]

I'll keep you safe

A scream in the middle of the night is what wakes him. It is high pitched and filled with fear, making him fall out of his bed. The child that had until now slept fitfully next to him, just keeps screaming and crying, causing Stiles to jump up quickly, reaching out to gently shake the little girl. "Shush, it's alright. " He whispers, carefully gathering the green-skinned girl into his arms, holding her close and rocking her gently. "It's alright, you're safe now, remember? You are with me now." Slowly the child wakes and wide eyes filled with tears stare up at him. "Mom" She whimpers, before sitting up only to bury her face against his neck, sobbing so hard it breaks his heart.

And still all he can think about is that he only hopes she hasn't woken the neighbors. If someone were to find out he had some random child at his place, there would be questions. Questions that he couldnt answer. So he holds her close, murmuring sweet nothings, in hopes of comforting her as he wonders not for the first time what he is supposed to do and how he got himself into this mess.

Stiles liked New York, at least after a while. It had been hard at first, trying to find someone to answer his questions, dealing with prejudices against him that he could barely understand. At the same time he had had to find a place to live, somewhere to work and study, because back then he had not known how this world would suck him in just like it already had in Beacon Hills.

So while he found help with Magnus, and cautious friendship with a few downworlders, he had to learn new rules, change into a person that could be accpeted here. It worked, but it took time and energy.

There was just one thing - of which he had thought had always been solely Scotts influence - that wasnt changing. His habit of stepping in, when he had to, saving people that had come into trouble through no fault of their own. Seemed that some of the Alhpas hero complex might have rubbed off after all.

And god, was this world filled with problems. A lot of the Downworlders seemed to be apathic to others fates and troubles if it was no one they considered one of their own. Stiles hated that ignorance, but with his already rather shaky stance, knew that he couldnt speak out about that. There was no one he could go to either, no one to share his worries with, because of all the people he knew, none of them were much more than mere acquintances.

Carefully he places the girl back onto the bed, tucking her in and sitting at her side until she falls back asleep. He had found her - and her human mother- fighting for their lives late one night, and while he couldn't save the mother, he had at least been able to save this little girl. But with her obvious non human nature he knew it wouldnt be right to just hand her over to an orphanage or the authorities. Who knows where she would have landed?

Still, as the morning dawns he knows he has to stop this. He couldnt take care of her here, he needed help. And there was only one place he could even hope for someone to hear him out.

--------------------------

She's bouncing next to him in excitement as they walk down the hallway to Magnus' apartment, going on and on about how beautiful the flowers were they passed earlier, and could they maybe plant a few at home? Stiles heart almost melts at hearing her call his dingy apartment home, but he just smiles and nods along. It's not like she really needs an answer from him, content to babble on and on, happy to be out and about. But when Stiles just stands there in front of the apartment door without moving, she slowly grows silent, feeling his serious mood. Carefully, she squeezes his hand, grinning up at him with a beautiful gap toothed smile. "Is your friend not home?" She asks, only having been informed that they were going to visit a friend of his and that she could play with the cats there. Stiles hadnt really known what else to say, had only hoped Magnus wouldnt send them away without at least letting Stiles explain.

"Let's check, okay? Do you want to ring the bell?" Her black curls bounce wildly around her head as she nods eagerly, holding her hands up to be lifted so she can reach it properly. Of course ringing the bell once isnt enough, she likes the chime enough to press the button five more times, giggling every time.

Suddenly the door is ripped open, and Magnus' face shows his obvious annoyance as he stares them down. "What do you think you are - " He thunders but stops as he sees Stiles with a child in his arms. A completely adorable, obviously not human child. If the skin wasn't obvious enough, her too wide, lilac eyes definitely were. "Oh, I am sorry princess, didnt see you there. " He addresses the girl, who has turned to hide against Stiles at his loud voice. Slowly, she looks back up, smiling shyly at him. "Hullo. " She greets, waving shyly at him. "I like your glitter." Easily distracted, she turns to Stiles. "Do you think I can have glitter like that too?" She pouts, as Magnus and Stiles hold a silent conversation over her head. It goes mostly like that-

M:'What the fuck is this?'

S:'Its hard to explain'

M:'Well you better hope it is a good explanation'

- before Magnus steps aside, gesturing the both of them to come inside. Stiles lets out a relieved sigh, while the little girl is still busy telling them all the colors she thinks glitter can be and how great it would look.

Stiles puts her down when they are inside, kneeling down to get her out of her jacket, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Why don't you ask Magnus where his cats are? I am sure they are very eager to meet you." He says, because he knows Magnus will be impatient about getting an explanation for all of this, but he doesnt want her hearing any of it.

"They're all outside, lazing in the sun. Just through there, you see?" The girl grins, running up to Magnus to wrap her short arms around his legs in a hug, before she is off to say hello to her new future friends.

For a few moments they both just watch her go, an incredibly soft expression on Magnus' face, one that Stiles has never seen before, even with Alec. It gives him hope that this might not turn into a complete disaster.

"Look, Magnus. " He starts before the warlock can even say anything, because this is important to him, and this one time he wont keep his mouth shut. "I came here for help with her, because I cant take care of a child on my own, obviously, even less one like her, but if you are just gonna tell me I should leave her to whatever fate at the hands of strangers, I will leave instantly. I will leave New York with her if I have to. " He feels more passionate about this than he has for anything else in a long time, and although he knows he is too young to be anyones parent, he would try for her. He obviously already is. He loves that girl more than he loves anyone else, and maybe finally he gets what all those people say about parents doing anything and everything for their children.

But Magnus just laughs at his ire, raising his hands. "Woah, woah, calm down /mom/. I am not sending anyone away. Definitely not such a cutie. " He smiles, gaze flicking back to the glass doors to his balcony, watching her struggling with cuddling with as many cats at once. "She is adorable. " He muses, lost in thought for a few long moments.

Then he turns back to Stiles, eyes sharp as he stares at him. "Tell me what happened."

He says, leading Stiles over to one of the couches, sitting down opposite him.

And so Stiles starts his tale...