#i feel like I've been handed a piece of somebody's soul here

[burningcomputerpersona]

MY SISTER CITIES BOOK AND VINYL HAS FINALLY ARRIVED

HELLO GORGEOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[workingbynyx]

Words I Held Back — Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader

× :: summary — satoru is gone and sukuna remains victorious while you had to stay on the sidelines, however, a note managed to find its way into your pocket– what could it be?

× :: pairing — gojo satoru x gn!reader

× :: genre — angst, oneshot

× :: warning (s) — some ooc and oos instances!

× :: a/n — aaaand we're back in the game after months of disappearing 😎 hey folks! i'm gonna have to start yall off with a recent hyperfixation of mine (aka jjk) about our glorious blue eyed king 🙏🏻 this is my first time writing some angst and about anime, so apologies in advance! i'm also sorry if this was pretty short :<

now that satoru was gone, you felt as if a big part of your soul was gone too. it didn't feel real, it didn't feel possible but sukuna managed to do the impossible. you were angry at yourself, you should've been there with him— everyone should've been. you were in complete shock, you wanted to blame yourself but there was no time to even mourn the loss of satoru gojo, you had to help shoko with other injured people that needed your assistance.

tears wouldn't stop falling down your cheeks, they all fell on their own thinking about him alone. you worked on patching up sorcerers although they couldn't help but notice how stained with tears your face was while you cleaned their wounds in a blank expression. you never bothered to wipe them on your own since new patients are coming in every second, you had to put them first before yourself.

eventually, you stood up to get yourself a nice cup of tea to calm your nerves. however, you felt a piece of paper in the depths of your pocket when you placed your hands in them. you carefully fished it out and noticed a something written in them. you gasped under your breath when you realized who it's from...

"y/n, it's satoru.

if you're seeing this then that probably means i'm in shinjuku right now~ i wrote this letter for you to read since i know how anxious you get in serious missions that involved special grades. i also wanted to write this letter because, well, i've been meaning to tell you something for a while now actually. these are the words i held back, y/n. i never had the guts to tell you in person so this is probably the only reasonable way of letting you know. you've always been the source of my motivation to keep going, you kept my world spinning even if it was slowly caving in towards me. you made me realize how much my worth is as a person... as my self, and i'd like to thank you for that.

right now, i'm fighting in that city for everyone. i wouldn't be able to forgive myself if i died on that field and leave you like that without any further explanation, i'm really sorry. but at least i died knowing i've fought and gave my all for the person i love earnestly. i remember when we were still first years and you've only then discovered your true cursed technique with me, you were so happy. i fell in love with you right there and then. i didn't think it would be possible for somebody like me to develop these feelings for you, i didn't want to admit it because i know i wasn't strong enough yet to protect you. i thought i needed to prove myself first to be worth of your love, but i realized that i already was even if i didn't. that was foolish of me, wasn't it? hahaha

i guess i was also scared, most of the people i loved are always harmed or endangered, so all i really wanted was to keep you safe in this cruel world, free from danger like me. love is the most twisted curse of them all, but here i am completely bewitched by you. whatever our fate may be, i only wish for your happiness to be found— even if it's not with me. you probably already know what i'm about to tell you but you always forget (dumbass !) sleep on time, eat on time and remember that you're the strongest.. second after me though of course :P

let's talk when i get back!

— g. s. "

you completely broke down by the end, sinking onto the floor on your knees as tears slowly stained the paper. your heart shattered into pieces like glass when everything finally caught up to you, why must the world be so cruel? nanami, haibara, suguru, and now satoru. one by one, everyone is being taken from you without any reason why other than beastly curses being bloodthirsty for murder and power. satoru deserved to live longer away from constant danger, he deserved the happiness that was ripped from him a long time ago.

the both of you could've lived a wonderful life together, but all of that was gone in a flash.

"satoru... i didn't k-know... i'm really sorry" you muttered under your breath, your nails digging into the skin of your thigh. your hands then came up towards your face in attempt to muffle your sobbing. shaking hands, silent cries and heavy tears falling, the folded letter abandoned in front of you as guilt slowly consumed you inside.

from that day on, gojo satoru was dead.

[lucifersresources]

taylor swift // the tortured poets department : the anthology rp meme part two. part one here.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!

the black dog.

i just don't understand how you don't miss me.

old habits die screaming.

i move through the world with the heartbroken.

my longings stay unspoken.

i may never open up the way i did for you.

do you hate me?

i pledged and i still mean it.

now i wanna sell my clothes and set fire to all my clothes.

i wanna hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons.

i wanna hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons, even if i die screaming.

imgonnagetyouback.

i can tell when somebody still wants me.

i'm gonna get you back.

i'm gonna curse you.

you were never not mine.

i can take the upper hand.

i might just love you till the end.

we're becoming something new.

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.

we broke all the pieces but still wanna play the game.

told my friends i hate you.

i love you just the same.

pick your poison, babe, i'm poison either way.

the albatross.

wild winds are death to the candle.

a rose by any other name is a scandal.

they tried to warn him about her.

cross your thoughtless heart.

only liquor anoints you.

she is here to destroy you.

one bad seed kills the garden.

i'd visit in your dreams.

they tried to warn you about me.

devils that you know raise worse hell than a stranger.

she's the death you chose.

you're in terrible danger.

the devil that you know looks more like an angel.

i'm the life you chose.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus.

you just watched it happen.

i loved you the way that you were.

tear my world apart.

you said some things that i can't unabsorb.

you turned me into an idea of sorts.

you needed me.

you needed me, but you needed drugs more.

i couldn't watch it happen.

i crashed into you like so many wrecks do.

too impaired by my youth to know what to do.

can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses?

it just didn't happen.

will i always wonder?

how did it end?

we hereby conduct this post-mortem.

our maladies were such we could not cure them.

a touch that was my birthright became foreign.

how did it end?

we were blind to unforeseen circumstances.

we learned the right steps to different dances.

the death rattle breathing silenced as the soul was leaving.

my beloved ghost and me, sitting in a tree.

i can't pretend like i understand.

so high school.

tell me about the first time you saw me.

look at you.

no one's ever had me, not like you.

you knew what you wanted.

i hate it here.

tell me something awful.

tell me all your secrets.

all you'll ever be is my eternal consolation prize.

now i seem to be scared to go outside.

i don't believe in good luck.

i hate it here.

i will go to secret gardens in my mind.

nostalgia is a mind's trick.

only the gentle survived.

i dreamed about it in the dark.

i felt like i might die.

i'm lonely.

i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.

this place made me feel worthless.

in my fantasies, i rise above it.

thanK you aIMee.

it was always the same searing pain.

all that time you were throwing punches, i was building something.

i can't forgive the way you made me feel.

but i can't forget the way you made me heal.

it wasn't a fair fight.

i built a legacy that you can't undo.

i built a legacy.

but when i count the scars, there's a moment of truth.

there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.

in your mind, you never beat my spirit black and blue.

i don't think you've changed much.

i look in people's windows.

i had died the tiniest death.

i'm afflicted by the not knowing.

what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

the prophecy.

i got cursed like eve got bitten.

a greater woman wouldn't beg.

please, i've been on my knees, change the prophecy.

change the prophecy.

who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy?

i still dream of him.

even statues crumble if they're made to wait.

i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.

someone tell me it'll be okay.

cassandra.

burn the bitch.

do you believe me now?

i was in my tower, weaving nightmares.

what doesn't kill you makes you aware.

what happens if it becomes who you are?

they knew the whole time.

when the truth comes out, it's quiet.

peter.

forgive me.

is it something i did?

i thought it was just goodbye for now.

you said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me.

promises oceans-deep, but never to keep.

are you still a mind reader?

are you still a natural scene-stealer?

i've heard great things, *name*.

life was always easier on you than it was on me.

underneath the same moon, in different galaxies.

i won't confess that i waited.

i let the lamp burn.

as the men masqueraded, i hoped you'd return.

love's never lost when perspective is earned.

the shelf life of those fantasies has expired.

lost to the 'lost boys' chapter of your life.

forgive me, *name*, please know that i tried.

please know that i tried.

please know that i tried to hold on to the days when you were mine.

the bolter.

we must stop meeting like this.

as she was leaving, it felt like breathing.

she liked the way it tastes.

she just knows she must bolt.

there's escape in escaping.

robin.

you are bloodthirsty.

you have no room in your dreams for regrets.

you'll learn to bounce back.

the manuscript.

now and then she rereads the manuscript.

now and then she rereads the manuscript of the entire torrid affair.

i'm not a donor but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.

but soon, it was over.

everything had been above board.

the years passed like scenes of a show.

write what you know.

looking backwards might be the only way to move forward.

the tears fell in synchronicity with the score.

at last, she knew what the agony had been for.

the only thing that's left is the manuscript.

the only thing that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores.

but the story isn't mine anymore.

[chumbertchumiliouschummy]

-FrozenGeodeShipping headcannon fic-

I thought I'd lost him forever, when I woke up here, after the merge. I thought I was destined to be alone forever. I thought Zane was dead. Shattered somewhere, broken, completely unrecognized and completely unfixable. Every time I thought of him, I pictured pieces of broken endoskeleton scattered across the world, little pieces and big pieces everywhere, never to be put back together.

Maybe he was all in one piece, somehow, was he on? Was he okay? Is he broken somehow? Is he hurt?

It was all too much. I couldn't even think about it without starting to cry. It hurt so much to think about, I could feel my soul shattering every time I thought of him in pain, scared somewhere, alone.

I can handle it, I'm the strong one, I can handle everything, physically and mentally.

But I can't handle the thoughts of Zane.

Not knowing is what makes everything so much worse.

Before I knew it, Geo found me, welcomed me into the Land of Lost Things, and it became my home. Everyone here became my family, the kids, they're like my own, I'd do anything for them.

I only wish Zane could be here with me, this could be our home, our family. Together.

Geode and I got pretty close. I started opening up to him about my thoughts, my fears, and he supported me throughout everything. It was nice, not being alone. Before I knew it, I'd been living here for years!

I began to fully accept that Zane was gone, and that I'd probably never get to see him again or know what really happened to him, but Geo was there the whole time. He listened to all of my stories about Zane, listened to how much I loved him, and how much I hurt losing him. He was there. He gave me a shoulder to cry on, and told me he'd always be there for me.

Slowly, I started to fall for him, just like how I did with Zane.

At first, it made me feel horrible, how could I possibly love somebody after losing Zane!? How could I let myself love again, how could I be so selfish?

But...he makes me so...happy.

We raise these kids together, eat together, he even loves MY cooking! I love his toothy smile, the way he laughs at my jokes, and I've never met somebody else as touchy as I am! We hug all the time and he's never said it's too much!

In a lot of ways, he reminds me of Zane. He's so sweet and caring, so willing to sacrifice himself to protect us, to protect the kids and Bonzle, so willing to sacrifice everything to keep us safe, keep our home safe.

He's so mature, he always knows just what to say when you need it, and when he doesn't, he can still sympathize and support you. It comes so naturally to him.

When he smiles, the whole room lights up, he's so passionate about his art that it makes my heart hurt, where someone else might see nothing but a pile of trash, I can really see his feelings. His art has so much depth that I can't even begin to describe.

It's so easy to talk to him, about everything.

One night we were talking, like we usually do, about anything and everything that came to our minds, and without even thinking about it, I told him-

"I think I'm in love with you-"

He stopped talking, looked at me with that toothy smile, and took hood of my hand.

It all felt so natural.

We fell into a routine, life was relatively simple, sometimes we'd have to run away from the Hoarder, but that's nothing we couldn't handle.

We started sharing a bed, which was nice. I can't put into words how lonely I was at night. It feels like Geo grounds me, those nights where I can't sleep because I can't get out of my own head.

The day I finally came face to face with Zane again, after we were finished running from those weird guys in wolf masks, I think I physically felt my heart stop.

So many years gone...where was he all this time?

He brought me into a deep hug as soon as the portal gate had closed.

I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what I could do.

"Uh! I need a minute!"

I pushed Zane away.

I ran off, I found my old room, everything was just how I left it so many years ago.

Where do I even start with all of this? What do I tell Zane? What do I tell Geo?

What do I even want?

I love them both...

-----

Cole had run off in distress, leaving everyone else in the room in an awkward silence.

Geo put a hand over Zane's shoulders.

"I think we should sit down somewhere and talk."

Sitting down outside, Geo comforted Zane while he tried to process what was going on.

"Why did he...run away from me?" Zane almost whispered, a face to his face, his eyes began to water.

"it's been so long...I thought he was dead...it doesn't make any sense!"

Geo gave Zane a firm squeeze on the shoulder.

"I think he's in as much shock as you are. He thought he lost you."

"I also think he doesn't know what to do...know that we've been dating for several years..."

Zane looked over at Geo, hurt in his eyes, but not directed towards the other being beside him.

"That would make sense. I suppose I wouldn't know what to do in his position either..."

"You're not angry? I was kind of worried you'd beat me up when I told you we're together-"

"What? No, of course not! It would be extremely unfair to Cole to stay single under the presumption that he might one day find me again. I would want him to find someone in the situation we found ourselves in. He doesn't deserve to be alone."

"But I must admit that regardless, this current situation is quite messy."

"I don't think it has to be." Geo smiled, Zane looking back with curiosity.

"You know, this may be pretty forward, but you're as beautiful as Cole described! Everything he told me about you has so far been proven to be true!"

Zane became flustered, heat rushing towards his face as his fans whirred to keep him cool.

That's when they began to discuss polyamory, and idea Zane had never been opposed to, but always thought was too socially unacceptable to talk about. Geo mentioned it was pretty normalized for him in his culture(s), and mentioned it was something Cole has once toyed with, in his younger years.

"I had no idea Cole was so adventurous when he was younger..."

"He told me he wanted to experience everything after running away from that dancing school, he wanted to stop thinking about how his father would react to him being himself, so he wanted to replace it with as many people as possible. He was in a polycule for a little while, before he became a ninja. I guess maybe he never felt comfortable enough to talk about it?"

"Yeah, who knows what the others would've thought at the time." Zane said.

"it's a lot more accepted now!" Geo agreed.

"So, what do we tell Cole?" Zane asked after a while.

-----

(ending here but will probably eventually post on AO3 or something)

[mrchiipchrome]

So here are some prompts from songs that I've got ideas around, feel free to request blurbs for whoever:)

----------

1. -Honestly I’m better as your boy, I’d be kinda shitty as your man. Let’s go back to only being friends.

2. -I don’t wanna fall in love, -No?, -No.

3.  -Oh…I got way too attached, -That wasn’t the plan?, -No

4. Where’d all the time go?

5. -Time to get out, I don’t want you around.

6. -I couldn’t see you the way you saw me.

7. -I tried my best to be worth all your while, -You just gotta let me go.

8. -Loving you was a hazard, so I got my heart a helmet.

9. -You like the pretty girl, with the pretty voice?

10. -She might let you stay, but just for the night.

11. -Oh I’m down on my hands and knees, begging you please, baby.

12. -You’re making me crazy.

13. -I’m feeling so tired, really falling apart.

14. -It just doesn’t make sense to me, why you’d stick right next to me, wherever I go.

15. -I feel the way you’re looking at me through my peripherals.

16. -Next thing I know she was feeling on me.

17. -I just hope you don’t wanna leave me…

18. -Only I belong with you and only you darling.

19. -I think of her so much it drives me crazy.

20. - I hope you find peace for yourself, -New girlfriend ain’t gonna fill the void.

21. -I went to hell and back, just to find peace.

22. -I can’t describe what I’m feeling.

23. -I don’t care how long it takes, as long as I’m with you I’ve got a smile on my face.

24. -Save your tears

25. -It will be okay, as long as you’re here with me.

26. -I wish I could live through every memory again.

27. -So, can I call you tonight?

28.-She looks just like a dream.

29. It’s just like seeing her for the first time, again.

30. -Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

31. -I’d rather lose somebody than use somebody.

32. -It’s you and me, always forever.

33. -...is the girl that I wanna kiss.

34. -You know I get so forgetful looking in her eyes.

35. -There’s nothing to keep you from falling in love.

36. -Cause all of the small things that you do, are what reminds me why I fell for you.

37. -Don’t forget to kiss me.

38. -I might need you or I’ll break.

39. -I act like I don’t care

40. -I bet you wish that I was still right there.

41. -I think I like you best when you’re just with me and no one else.

42. -No one can save me but you.

43. -You never felt this way?

44. -I’d never dreamed that I’d love someone like you.

45. -Everytime you go away, you take a piece of me with you.

46. -I can feel your body move.

47. -I want you here with me, from tonight until the end of time.

48. -You’re just too good to be true, I can’t take my eyes off of you.

49. -You’d be like heaven to touch.

50. -Please let me know that it’s real.

51. -I wanna feel you in my arms again.

52. -You’re the light in the deepest, darkest hour.

53. -There goes my baby.

54. -I’ll never deserve you 

55. -Just hold me now

56. -What do you say when words are not enough?

57. -It feels like you don’t care

58. -No, not a single tear

59. -Tell me what you heard

60. -A pretty face with some cute lips.

61. -So kiss me once and kiss me twice, and kiss me once again.

62. -It’s been a long time.

63. -When you kiss me, heaven sighs.

64. -When you press me to your heart, oh I’m in a world apart.

65. -Give your heart and soul to me.

66. -I’m in heaven.

67. -I want my arms around you.

68. -It’s nice to have you back, where you belong.

69. -The band is playing, -One of our old favorite songs.

70. -Leave your worries on the doorstep my dear.

71. -Life can be sweet.

72. -Oh I’m on the sunny side of the street.

73. Stars shining bright above you.

74. -Dream a little dream of me.

75. -Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me.

76. -Promise to me, you’ll dream.

77. -We may never, never meet again.

78. -Oh when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you.

79. When I saw you last night and got that old feeling.

80. -When you caught my eye, my heart stood still.

81. -Give me a kiss to build a dream on.

82. -Oh, give me your lips just for a moment.

83. -Wherever you’re going, I’m going the same way.

84. -We have all the time in the world.

85. -Give me your kisses, I’ll give you my heart.

86. -Give me the right to call you all mine.

87. -Though we’re apart, you’re part of me still.

88. -You came, -You saw?, -Oh you conquered me.

89. -Fantastic? Oh that’s you.

90. -I still get jealous.

91. -All my wildest dreams come true, -When I’m near you?

92. -Love makes me treat you the way that I do.

93. -You’re afraid each thing I do, -Is just some evil scheme?

94. -Why can’t I free your doubtful mind, and melt your cold cold heart?

95. -Pardon the smile on my face dear.

96. -Your lips are as warm and sweet as wine.

97. -I’ll keep you safe.

98. -For I can’t help falling in love with you.

99. -My heart is yours.

100. Bound to falling in love.

101. -I knew a girl just like you once.

102. -I'll always look out for you.

103. -I won't let you down.

104. -One day it'll all make sense.

105. -For you, I'd bleed myself dry.

106. -Baby, you’re the best.

107. -I haven’t seen you in a long time.

108. -I gave it all for a fantasy.

109. -I'll love you better if you let me.

110. -I'll love you forever.

111. -My heart is a broken mess

112. -Are you honest?

113. -I’ll take you just the way you are.

114. -You’ll always have my unspoken passion.

115. -I hope no one catch us, -But I kinda hope they catch us

116. -Baby you’re all mine.

117. -Maybe it couldn’t work out in the end.

118. -I know you want me.

119. -I’ve been getting mixed signals.

120. -I’m just trying to get closure.

121. -I know she’s a loser.

122. -Is it wrong?, -Is it right?

123. -Nobody does it like you do.

124. -You’ve begun to feel like home.

125. -I’ll be right here.

126. -I've been trying to get you out the friend zone.

127. -Baby, am I your little secret?

128. -And I guess I’ll just miss her, even though she isn’t even really gone…things are just different.

[starter-library]

THE GUY WHO DIDN'T LIKE MUSICALS LYRIC STARTERS feel free to change phrasing/pronouns as you see fit

“Musicals tell the impossible (impossible) They evoke the philosophical”

“Should we kill him?”

“What an ass! What a bitch! What a cuck!”

“The apotheosis is upon us”

“Where the fuck is he?”

“You gotta believe in something, [name], you piece of shit”

“[Name] you piece of shit”

“Sometimes I just wanna shout on top of roof and mountain tops”

“Yesterday is retroactive Got myself a new perspective”

“What the fuck was that?”

“I may not have a home but that's way okay”

“The world is my house, The dogs are my food”

“Uh, what's going on here?! I'm very confused and concerned by all this”

“Do you wanna save the planet?”

“What do you want, [name]? Tell me what you desire to see”

“So, what do you want, Paul? What's that one concrete goal that motivates all your actions?”

“I don't know, I want what anyone wants? Money, a partner? Kids, someday, maybe?”

“A man so vague just can't be trusted”

“D'you know what I want for myself? I've waited for so long to tell somebody else.”

“You're my muse, my source of light”

“[name] my love. I want you to choke me out at night”

“I want you to choke me while I jerk off”

“I'm gonna go get some coffee, do you want anything?”

“Get your cup of roasted coffee”

“Get your cup of poisoned coffee”

“You better empty out all of them pockets but don't empty out all of them pockets”

“Check your mirror, you'll find hell has arrived”

“Do the things I say, I'm a cop”

“Put in your mouth and suck it!”

“Oh, [name], please stop! I'm your wife, just talk to me, baby!”

“God, we were young once. Innocent and fun once and free”

“You tied up my heart, You tied me down”

“Now break me open with your love and mercy”

“[name], baby! Apple of my eye! Don't you trust me?”

“I've effed up, [name], effed up with you”

“Will you ever forgive me? I'll crawl on my hands and knees”

“Oh fuck, I'm fading fast, I think you better come quick”

“I really don't wanna die alone in here. Time to say our goodbyes at the end of the road”

“This body's not gonna last, the air is cold and thick”

“You brought me back from the dead, [name]!”

“The time for chaos is long past overdue”

“Death isn't optional in fact it’s optimal”

“Join us and die”

“We're gonna kick your ass and then we're gonna Fucking kick your ass”

“I'm not your girl anymore”

“You left me out of your sight for one second and look what happens, nightmare time”

“No matter what you believe The apple's fallen far from the tree”

“It's not my fault anymore”

“Did you know that I wanted to live with you?

“Why does it hurt to love you? Why am I in pain?”

“If I turned my insides out, would you even know that I was there?”

“A show stoppin' number is something you die for”

“This song's pretty good, huh? I bet you didn't know I was also a composer”

“I've also been writing my own musical…Do you mind if I give you the pitch?”

“But those glory days, they're gone for good…Or are they?”

“Business calls, I'm up to my ass in shit. What is this business?”

“Last weekend feels like ages ago”

“I can't wait to get home to my boys”

“Come on, [name] We've got some catching up to do”

“There's only room for right and wrong”

“You can't run”

“You're staring down the gun 'Cause you're easily disposed”

“Did you hear the word?”

“Is your heart so damp and bleak that you won’t give us a peek of your soul?”

“There's a voice inside of you on the edge of coming through”

“Am I dead? I’m coming apart at the seams!”

“I’ve never been happy wouldn’t that be nice?”

“Is my integrity worth anything at all?”

“Am I crazy? Maybe I’ve always been”

“What if I told you I made it and this is the life that I chose?”

“Do you believe in ghosts?”

“Don't you want to see me happy? Is it so tragically wrong?”

“We must go on with the show it's inevitable”

“I found my calling you can do the same now”

[detaire]

Tired, so tired of being hollow and curling myself in a ball, until my bones break, and I can fit my misery in even smaller spaces, out of reach.

I wanted death as a concept, wanted to love as a challenge, and wanted to write because I thought had something to say.

I write because I stepped onto a one-way track to losing myself, there is no room for me here, words occupy all available space.

The only thing rattling around are rabid animals, my companions, not compliant. I fed this monster, I kept it warm, I let it bite me. I spoiled it and gauded it into devouring my heart, piece by piece.

Now that it overwhelmed, became me, I cower from it, I'm ashamed of what I've created, of my life.

I promised myself death and pain, misfortune.

I made a bed out of glass shards that I can't crawl out of, every thought a miserable metaphor and nobody can understand because I made myself incomprehensible. 

I feel like happiness wounds me, like I can understand life only in the most general of terms, like "enjoy the small things" was a command, an order that I obeyed not understanding.

All those people gathered to fill the emptiness, I appreciate, but what they don't know is that they're filling the hole with dirt.

What is the point of screaming, if all you'll ever get are words, sounds, noises. Amplified.

It's not even echo, it mocks me, not mindlessly, but repeating thoughts.

I reread them, stare into them and try to replicate the process but it all sounds soulless spoken aloud.

I don't trust words, I can only use them but they wont aid me in anything. I forgot what it feels for sentences to make sense.

What am I? A puppet that I parade around like I know what life is, like the pulling of the strings isn't a spectacle of my own making, my play that only I stare at, dead eyes.

"The world's a stage"

The world is empty. All of audience is a lie.

Endless string of contradictory actions, always starving for more suffering to collect, until it overflows. 

God, I cut myself open on every passing second of the day, the hands of the clock in my hands, digging until they reach bone marrow.

I can't read anything without it filling me with jealousy, bitter bile of worthlessness, which I'm always piling up on a pedestal in the hopes that maybe somebody takes notice.

But what's the point of building myself up on unstable ground.

I cant even say I have reasons, I became thoughtless, a hypocrite, parrotting my own words, my brain mocks me "hurt yourself" it says, but it knows I am afraid of pain. I know I'm afraid of pain.

"End your life" but I know it's not desired.

Why must I care so much about what people think of me? Why can't I just be gone?

I would've been dead a thousand times over, my soul no longer coiled tightly but weaved, eased into the void.

Will I find relief?

Same as them, one day I will walk into the river with stones at my feet.

If one day I am asked to die, I will obey, in hoping it will awaken my obsession with life once again.

I will have my relief, my escape, after monotony, tripled, in pain.

"Quite deliberately", someone will say.

I will not hear it.

[sillyromance]

This idea might be mentioned by somebody else in the past, but I've been thinking about a pred swallowing a first-time prey's hand. And there is no intention to tease as somebody could assume, but to show trust and devotion two people have for each other.

The prey lies in bed, their pred is on top of them. It's an unforgettable experience indeed: with their eyes closed, the prey feels warm breath flowing around their fingers, slick, squishy tongue savoring their flavor, wrapping itself around the prey's wrist. They tremble; throat contracts. Muscles gently, lovingly tug their arm inside. If the pred used full force, their partner's arm would be definitely crushed into pieces. Instead, it just slowly slips into the pred's core and stays there, held by soft flesh pulsing rhythmically around it.

The pred is lost in emotions, too. It's the first time they ever got a real taste of their lover, which is purely divine. There is a strong temptation to swallow the prey right here and now, but the pred loves them too much to betray them this way. The pred doesn't dare even nibble, their teeth just brush lightly against fragile skin of their lover. They focus on a ticklish sensation of tiny fingers fluttering inside their esophagus and being so affectionat, so cautious, trying not to scratch or poke sensitive walls accidentally...

The pred feels tears in their eyes. It's hard not to moan from an overwhelming wave of love and adoration rising in their soul!

... Eventually, they let go. The prey's hand leisurely escapes their mouth; little one presses it against their little heart beating fast, almost hysterically - from thrill and excitement.

They lift their eyelids hesitantly and look at their partner smiling at them from above.

- Did you like it? - The pred asks.

The prey nods enthusiastically. For some time, they stare at their hand, smeared in thick saliva, then look back at the pred - and lift up a little to give their darling a gentle kiss.

- Honestly, I wouldn't mind repeating. It was so, so beautiful! But next time... - The prey blushes. - If you don't mind... Could we go... Further?

Guys, with all the negative stuff lately, I wanna hear some positives.

Reblog and/or comment with one (sfw plz) fun/funny nom situation you have thought of this past week. It doesn't matter if you've written on it before. Heck, you can copy and paste it for all I care, I just wanna see something nice today. I think a lot of people want to see that too.

[savieem]

The unappreciated adult.

This is the first time that I will be blogging about it not because this is the first time I've felt it because God knows, this is a feeling that's no stranger. This is the first time I'm going to blog about this because today, I realized I was only one in a crowd of hundreds that feel the same dead tired that I feel every single time. This is the first time I'm going to blog about this because today, I realized I wasn't alone in this ere. Here's to us; the unappreciated but loved all the same. Here's to us who were never good enough, no matter how hard we've tried, no matter how much we've achieved, no matter how many times we've been looked up to. Here's to us; the ones who were never good enough.

I have to accept that I'm going to be okay no matter what, that I'm going to be okay even if nobody will care. I never got the chance to accept it though because I was too busy trying to meet everyone's expectations. And like putting the cup on top of a cupboard that a dwarf, such as I, can never reach on her own, I've looked for ways to pull myself up instead. I've tried all sorts of things; ladders to climb, ropes to pull me up, escalators that would temporarily restrain me from thinking too much about it but nothing worked. Every time I'm about to hold and tug at your cup of care and expectations, I, instead of the teacup, shatter into glass pieces that can never be put together. I'm an unhappy soul and my life revolved around people's expectations that I stopped thinking whether my opinion even mattered. It was all about you and what you wanted me to be, never about me and who I really am. My achievements were your disappointments that I questioned even the core of my skills and abilities. My thought of thyself being such a failure rooted from those. I'll never be able to get over that. If somebody asked me now why I was a pessimist, I would point all my fingers to you, not that I blame you though. And truth be told, there's a part of me that hates you for that. A part of me hates you for tearing an innocent part of my soul, causing a deep black hole that continuously swallows every inch and millimetre of my pride and self belief. If there's one thing I'll never forget about you, it's that. But I guess it resulted to a good thing if I, indeed, am now a good thing.

My colleague once questioned me why I don't want to be recognized for all the hard work I've done when we their are proud of the success it brought. I never knew the real answer until now. Maybe I stopped being proud of my achievements when I realized that who they were really that didn't even care.

Thank you for making me stop believing that I was the best, for letting me know that everything I did was just okay, and not above average; that instead of making me feel like I'm the best kid you could have, you made me feel like a commoner even with all those awards on my hands. Thank you for always putting my feet on the ground and reminding me that what I had was always a step below from another. I know that when you said that, it only means I will only have a hundred steps to climb upon and get better, that there was always space for enhancement. But when you're too busy climbing for somebody else and not for yourself, it becomes forced. And when it's forced, you tend to get tired easily. Sorry to say, but I'm exactly that; I'm tired. When you were watching from above, seeing how trying hard I am on climbing the steps higher one by one, you forgot to ask me who I really was in the picture. If I was the kid looking up the stairs she has to climb upon or the one looking down. Because honestly, I feel like I'm the one looking down. Not because I'm already at the top but because I feel like I'm just looking down on myself and taking pity on that kid who's trying too hard. They say achievements are for yourself. But why was I doing it for somebody else? Why was I doing it for you?

When I finally am good enough for your standards, please be the one to remind me that I'm actually someone's best. Someday, I hope, I'll believe in myself. Someday, I won't have to look at anyone like you anymore if I receive an achievement. I won't have to look for that non existing approval on anyone's face that I've always wanted to have more than any award I could get. Someday, I will be more than enough for myself to be proud of. If you aren't, well, okay then. Someday, it won't matter to me anymore. For now, let me resort my frustrations to lazy comebacks and senseless, long blog posts. 

[genderfluid-strawberry-of-doom]

thinking abt how magnus could have defeated loki with either love and hate but chose love. soo i wrote some fierrochase and it's shitty but whatever tbh. hope you like it <3

It was a normal evening, but when are evenings ever normal? It had been a few months since they had trapped Loki in his walnut, but something had been bothering Magnus.

He was sitting on the grass in his room, flipping through a blank notebook. When he was still alive, he used to write. It was usually poetry that never rhymed, centered on some depressing event or another, but he enjoyed it. It always felt like he was putting a piece of his soul into his writing. It was intimate, and the only person he ever shared it with was his mom.

Maybe he should get back into writing. It did make him feel good. Maybe it would help him get rid of the emotional baggage he felt like he was carrying.

The notebook had fresh white pages. It was one of those cheap ones, the kind you get at a stationary shop, with an inspirational quote on the cover. This one had a brown cover with 'Good Vibes' printed on it. If only it were that easy to have 'good vibes'.

He flipped to a blank page. He picked up the blue gel-pen he had brought with him and fiddled with it for a while, before opening the cap and fixing it on the other end of the pen.

To be honest, he had no idea what to write. These things just came to him when the time was right, but he didn't tell them when to come. He decided to just let his subconscious guide him.

well, i'm dead now. both inside and outside. i've been thinking, what's the difference between love and hate? they both ultimately change the world, don't they?

This was one of the things that had kept Magnus awake. Sure, he had defeated Loki with the love for his friends, but didn't his hate for the god play a part in his defeat? Both love and hate were directed differently for the same purpose, to vanquish a foe, but ultimately, didn't they have the same result?

Somebody knocked on his door, interrupting his thoughts. "Can I come in?" yelled a certain green-haired person's voice.

"Yeah," Magnus yelled back. He put his pen and book down and got up to answer the door.

"Hurry up," whined the voice outside the door. Magnus quickly walked to the door and opened it to reveal the ever-stunning Alex Fierro.

His newly dyed mint-green hair was down, and he wore a neon pink crop top, black ripped leggings, and neon green sneakers, so he gave the impression of a human highlighter. How very fitting. "Hello!" he said cheerfully, as if he hadn't interrupted Magnus's brainstorming.

"Hi." Magnus was sure he looked as tired as he felt. He self-consciously adjusted his own hair, trying to brush it out of his face. Alex took the remaining blond strands and tucked them behind his ear. Magnus could feel a blush spreading on his face.

"What are you doing here?" He tried to keep his voice even.

"What, do I need an excuse to see my boyfriend? Hmm?" The green-haired boy's voice was lined with playfulness. When Alex Fierro got like this, it was best to just go with it. It was always best to go with it when dealing with Alex.

"N-No-" Magnus stammered. "Whatever, Mr. Highlighter."

Alex rolled his eyes and pushed past him, walking into his room. "I'm taking that as a compliment." Magnus hurried after him, trying to stop him from seeing that one open notebook, but he was too late. Alex had eyes sharp as an eagle.

Now, the shapeshifter was looking at Magnus weirdly. It was admirable how quickly Alex could change moods. "Magnus, you of all people should know the difference between loving and hating."

"Alex, leave it alone. I was just trying something." He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"No." Alex strode back towards him, stopping right in front of his face. "Are you okay?"

"I-" Well, maybe he wasn't. Maybe the last quest had taken more out of him than he had thought. He was tired. It felt like there was a gray cloud above his head. "I don't know."

Alex put his hands on Magnus's shoulders and looked into the blonde's eyes. His mismatched eyes were mesmerizing as always, the amber and brown contrasting with the copper color of his skin, sprinkled with dark freckles.

"Magnus, the difference between love and hate is.." He paused, then touched his forehead to Magnus's. The sensation of skin-on-skin didn't repulse Magnus. Alex smelt sweet and fresh and just a little bit sour. "It's that love heals, and hate just hurts."

Magnus could see it in Alex's eyes that he meant what he said, he meant it with passion. Alex had been through so much at such a young age. Unloved and unwanted, his heart was full of hate, with just a couple of exceptions. Magnus, on the other hand, had been loved his whole life by one central person, until she died.

They had both had different lives, but now, they had something in common. They were both loved, by each other and people around them. They had found family, the only for Alex and another for Magnus.

They stayed like that for a few golden moments, two disillusioned boys, deeply in love and trying their best to heal each other.

Then, Alex straightened up and pulled Magnus to the grass, where the notebook and pen still sat undisturbed. Magnus crouched down and picked up the book, uncapped the pen, and wrote, Alex standing right beside him.

"Thank you."

life is like a tapestry. you can choose to do with it what you wish. you can love, and stitch it closer together, or hate, and let it tear apart with time. oh, and i'm dead now, but i've never felt more alive.

[rainbowsprinkledpirate]

Soldier Of My Past

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Male!Reader

Summary: Years go by, and nothing changes. You remain trapped under the remnants of HYDRA. Forced to do unthinkable things. And clean up after one particular Super Soldier. Which makes you wonder about him often. You had heard them call him the Winter Soldier. But you're not sure the name fits.

Chapter IV: Empty Blue Eyes

gif from thatscarletflycatcher, got it from google now it's here

Please, please don't.

I don't want to. I'm sorry.

I can't stop.

Whatever they put in my bloodstream turned me into a merciless monster.

It's like I'm trapped behind a glass wall. Watching everything happen yet being unable to stop my finger from pulling the trigger or swinging the blade.

Somebody... help.

I don't want to kill these people.

They haven't done anything wrong.

"Good job, soldier. Another problem was taken care of. But you're too slow, once again." Doctor Rot's voice never failed to solidify that glass wall.

"Maybe we'll use you for something else?" He leans forward. I could feel their blood staining my hands as he tapped the side of my head.

We'll make good use of you yet, little soldier.

- December, XX 1991 -

It took a while, but that glass wall is gone now. It has been for some time. Though that doesn't mean what I did has left my mind. All those people I killed.

The children.

Their screams keep me awake at night. Yet another thing added to a long list that reminds me why I can't give up.

Not yet.

After a while, they made me some other soldiers clean up guy. It became my job to make sure not a single piece of evidence was left that could be traced back to HYDRA.

Oddly enough, I was good at it.

Especially when I did well picking up after the Winter Soldier as he was called. But it's like I know every move he'll make. So, it's easy to clean up what he leaves behind.

This particular scene, however, was messier than the others.

I glance over the scuff marks that show where a body was dragged. They would hint that this wasn't a typical car accident. Alongside the tire tracks from the Winter Soldier's bike. And his footprints.

Every little thing would point out that these poor souls didn't die a normal death.

Which honestly would have been a mercy. If the muffled scream being abruptly cut off was anything to go by.

After a few seconds, the fire hissing from the smashed front end of the car became the only sound permeating the still air of the surrounding forest.

That and the slow, steady steps of the soldier.

He doesn't even spare me a glance as he moves back to his bike.

It was at times like this. Standing in the soldier's aftermath, I wanted to stop him. Just to ask why he went along with HYDRA's plans. Wasn't he strong enough to fight back?

But the glint of his metallic arm always warned me off.

That and the fact that he would kill any who got in the way of finishing his mission.

"Oh, James. What am I gonna do with this guy? The Winter Soldier, what kinda name is that anyway? Clearly, they don't know how to come up with good names."

Lately, I've found myself speaking aloud. When no one else but me and the Winter Soldier were around.

It helped to think James was somewhere listening to me. It soothed the screams I constantly heard.

And it wasn't like the soldier was going to tell anyone. From what I knew, he didn't speak.

At all.

Huffing, I notice the soldier pause. Every bone in my body locks in place when he slightly turns his head my way.

Shit, this is new.

Why the hell is he looking at me?

Is he going to kill me?

Doctor Borisyuk, who took over for Doctor Rot, wouldn't be too happy if he did.

But surely, he knew I was also part of HYDRA.

I did trail after him for nearly every mission he went on. Keeping an eye on him. And making sure his missions were a success.

Well, most of them.

There had been a point where things got messy when I tried to escape after learning Herr Schmit had been killed. They ended up locking me up and torturing me for a few days. But it wasn't anything new and I learned Doctor Zola lied about the explosive device planted in my head.

I examine the side of the soldier's face. Meeting the single empty blue eye that peered at me from over his shoulder for a split second. Before he focused back on the dirt road and took off.

The roar of his motorcycle cut through the stifling silence before fading away. Leaving nothing but the crackling fire in its place.

Weird.

But now wasn't the time for me to be worried about such. I have to clean up the scene and get out of here.

I sigh before making my way closer to the car. Inside were the bodies of Howard and Maria Stark. I never knew the man personally, but I remember seeing him and his first invention flop. It was a fond memory I held close.

Wordlessly I lean forward to rest my hand on Howard's shoulder.

"Find peace in the afterlife, friend." I glance at the woman next to him. A dull ache spread through my chest as I pull away from Howard.

If only I had died with James that day. Like these two who died together.

Shaking my head, I hiss, "Enough."

There's no point agonizing over the past. Focus on the here and now. Until HYDRA is completely wiped out, I can't stop.

Yet everywhere I look, there seems to be something to remind me of the past.

I glance at Howard again.

Focus. Damn it.

Not much information was passed around about these missions. Yet I made sure to keep myself updated as much as I could about the years they woke me up in. It let me clean up the scenes a bit better.

Scanning the surrounding area, I note the camera high up in one of the trees close to the scene. Or what remained of it.

When had he shot that?

Scoffing again, I make my way over to the tree. This was going to take a while. I knew I'd hear about it later.

- XX Hours Later -

"You're finally back," Doctor Borisyuk eyes me from his perch. "You have leaves in your hair."

It takes everything in me not to lunge forward.

This guy took after Doctor Rot a lot. From the unnerving grin to his unsympathetic eyes. Oddly enough, I didn't mind his presence as much as Doctor Rot.

Maybe it was because he let others do his dirty work? And I never saw him when they woke me up or put me to sleep.

The room around me stilled when fingers fluttered up to my hair. It was odd to have someone touch my hair so lightly after all this time. Especially when there was no ill intent behind it.

For a moment, all I could see were empty blue eyes before Doctor Borisyuk pulled back.

A single golden-brown leaf was held up between us.

"You should be more careful."

Or maybe it was for moments like this that I didn't mind him as much as Doctor Rot. With him being offhandedly kind.

That didn't stop me from wanting him and all the other HYDRA people dead.

"It would be a shame to lose someone like you. I rely on you a lot, you know?" He moved to hop back up on the desk. The taupe-colored wood contrasted starkly with his black uniform making him stand out more so than he already did.

"Go get some rest. You've earned it." He crossed one leg over the other. The stiff black boots he wore creaked with the movement.

"But do be back by oh four hundred hours, will you? There's no rest for the wicked, I'm afraid."

I bobbed my head towards him. Then make my way back into the long, desolate halls of HYDRA's headquarters. Empty blue eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life. Just like the cries of those people.

Next Chapter -> Here

Here <- Previous Chapter

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

[squigglywindy]

Squiggles Ranks the Chain

It's time to rank the chain.

I don't know why I did this. I really don't. It was hard. I love them all. And my favorites in general don't align with my favorites to write and this list is changing every day but here it is anyway. I've told a few people I was going to do this eventually, so here it is. The List. Go ahead, come at me. But do so understanding that I love them all dearly. But, I love some just a little bit more than others. Or, at least, relate to them and rotate them in my mind with more frequency.

Proceed at your own risk

@triforce-of-mischief @silvercaptain24

9: Time. Oh, Time. My guy. The old man. The tired Old Guy surrounded by youngin's. I relate to him in my soul. I love him, I want to hug him, I wish him all good things al the time. I love his dynamic with The Boys, his entire thing with Malon, all of it. But somebody had to be last. And at the end of the day, it's Time. Although my least favorite Link still occupies a bigger piece of my mind than any other fictional character ever, so there's that.

8: Twilight. Twi. My Brother In Y'all. My lil country wolf boy who I love so much. I wanted to put him higher; it was a struggle. Maybe it's because he's been dying for a year and we haven't gotten as much content to love him for; I dunno. Either way, somebody had to be number eight. I'm sorry my lovely Wolfie.

7: Legend. What a legend. (Hah, couldn't resist). I hated him for a long time. Yes, I was projecting my frustration with ALttP onto the poor guy, but still. I was stuck in the game when I started reading still am but that's not the point, and then there he was. And I was just 'ah no. It's him'. And then he seemed like a jerk, and I was just like: 'figures'. And then??? Whoooo boy this guy can fit so much character development into him! He's so sweet. He's so soft. He took me out in Sunset 13 with his lil face.

6: Hyrule. The fluffy lil dude. He's like a human puppy he's stinkin' adorable. He's my Swiss Army Knife when I'm writing; my guy has a tool for every occasion. He's just so soft and sweet and has magic hands??? Very cool. I don't have a lot of coherent thoughts to say about him but I love him very much.

5: Wild. Ah, Wild. The man I thought would be my blorbo. BotW has my heart, and naturally, I thought he would do. And he does! He's a little chaos gremlin. He's also Dramatic and I love him for that. I have so much fun writing him because literally anything goes and somebody out there will be like 'yeah. Classic Wild'. What can I say that hasn't already been said about this controversial lil guy everyone seems to either love or hate? What a maniac. Respect.

4: Warriors. I didn't have a whole lot of feelings about him before I started writing, ngl. Hadn't played HW, didn't really know who he was, all that jazz. And then I started digging in and oh my gosh I can't go two stories without beating him up I love him so much. He's my go-to projectee. I love to hurt him and look at him and I love the dynamic he has with everyone. He is Very Cool.

3: Four. He's just the whole package. A nice lil mashup of someone who has never done anything wrong in his life ever, and someone who has definitely killed someone with his bare hands. Not to mention he is Smol. Like lookit him it's almost like he could be a backpack (shamelessly references my own absolutely unhinged story). And? And??? He's chronically miserable I just wanna give him a hug.

2: Sky. I just love him. He's sweet, he's squishy, and he's just so darn relatable. Standing there. Left in the dust, because running is hard. Just chillin', watching the world pass by from whatever random spot he's chosen to exist in. It's like looking in a mirror. He just loves his brothers and wants them to be okay and he's just wonderful.

1: Wind. I know many of you probably didn't see this coming. I hope you braced yourselves for the surprise. Number one, Blorbo Prime, my number one scrunkle, The Windy Boy. Where to even start? He's just an absolute terror, hacking up the bad guys with the big boys. And his lil face? It's so smooshable. He is babey and menace all wrapped up in one. The child that I wrap safely in my trench coat until it's time to torture him again. He lives on a pottery wheel in my mind, spinning around at unimaginable speeds. The blorbo ever.



[sofullofloveicould]

byler songs through the years!

50 songs for byler, organized chronologically. link to my Spotify playlist

Idle Town - Conan Gray

"this town will never change, people come and go, It's all the same... - we invent our own little games (in our idle town), when the lights out at the stadium fade (in our idle town), making life a spinning arcade (in out idle town)"

It's Nice To Have A Friend - Taylor Swift

"school bell rings, walk me home... - video games, you pass me a note, it's nice to have a friend... - have my back, yeah, every day, feels like home"

(Can We Be Friends?) - Conan Gray

"could you be my best friend? let's hang out every weekend... - I'll tell you all my secrets, I'll tell you all the times that i wished that I could die."

Heroes - David Bowie (obviously)

"though nothing, nothing will keep us together, we can beat them, for ever and ever, oh we can be Heroes, just for one day"

Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood

"you ask me what I'm thinking about, I tell you that I'm thinking about, whatever you're thinking about, tell me something that I'll forget, and you might have to tell me again, It's crazy what you'll do for a friend... - I know that you got daddy issues, and I do too."

cardigan - Taylor Swift

"when you are young, they assume you know nothing, but I knew you... - and when I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone's bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite... - but I knew you, playing hide-and-seek and giving me your weekends, I knew you."

Late Night Talking - Harry Styles

"things haven't been quite the same, there's a haze on the horizon, babe, It's only been a couple of days and I miss you, mm, yeah... -we've been doin' all this late night talkin', 'bout anythin' you want until the mornin'... - I've never been a fan of change, but I'd follow you to any place"

Devil Town - Cavetown

"I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times, hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night... - we're all dead in Devil Town that's fine 'cause nothing's gonna scare us now."

Reflections -The Neighbourhood

"where have you been? do you know when you're coming back?... - do you know if you're coming back?... - we were too close to the stars I never knew somebody like you, somebody, falling just as hard."

I Lost a Friend - FINNEAS

"countin' all the mistakes I've made, replayin' fights, I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight. I lost a friend, I lost a friend, I lost my mind, and nobody believes me."

Talia - King Princess

"hey, my love, I buried you a month or two ago, I keep thinking that you're standing on my floor, that you're waiting there for me... - when you left, you took my bestest friends away. and in this mess, I think I dug a thousand graves."

Ghosttown - Madonna

"you're all that I can trust, facing the darkest days. everyone ran away. but we're gonna stay here, we're gonna stay here... - when it all falls, when it all falls down, we'll be two souls in a ghosttown.

Comfort Crowd - Conan Gray

"this hurt that I'm holding's getting heavy... - begging on my knees, screamin', "someone come and help me", but by the time they're there, I've already hid the body... - yeah, I don't care what song that we play, or mess that we make, just company now."

The Lighthouse - Halsey

"I went swimming with the devil at the bottom of a lake, and he left me there by my lonesome... - he showed me I was weak. and a little piece of him is in a little piece of me"

Devil in Me - Halsey

"but I scream too loud if I speak my mind. I don't wanna wake it up, I don't wanna wake it up, I don't wanna wake it up. the devil in me."

Block me out - Gracie Abrams

"It's been a couple of months since I turned to something violent. I should be happier now, so why do I feel this quiet?... - I think I'm burnin' alive, but nobody sees the fire... - I feel ten feet off the ground. I wish that I could block me out."

The Archer - Taylor Swift

"combat, I'm ready for combat... - I never grew up, it's getting so old. help me hold onto you... - I've been the prey, screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? but who could stay?"

Linger - The Cranberries

"I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey so did you. so why were you holding her hand?... - was it just a game to you? but I'm in so deep, you know I'm such a fool for you."

Heather - Conan Gray

"only if you knew how much I liked you... - she's got you mesmerized while I die."

Pluto Projector - Rex Orange Country

"the great protector, Is that what I'm supposed to be?... - spendin' the years together, growing older every day, I feel at home when I'm around you."

Little League - Conan Gray

"do you remember days on our old block?... - but lately I've been feeling strange, and everybody's telling me to act my age. I never thought that everything I had would fade away."

As it Was - Harry Styles

"holdin' me back, gravity's holdin' me back, I want you to hold out the palm of your hand, why don't we leave it at that?... - in this world, it's just us, you know it's not the same as it was"

(special appreciation: "answer the phone..." goddamnit mike call your boyfriend)

SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK - Joji

"don't follow me, you'll end up in my arms... - you should be with him, I can't compete, you looked at me like I was someone else, oh well can't you see? (can't you see?)"

Pretty Boy - The Neighbourhood

"even if the Earth starts shaking, you're the only thing worth taking, ooh, with me... - as long as I got you, I'm gonna be alright, as long as I got you, yeah."

Dandelions - Ruth B.

"maybe, it's the way you play your game, but it's so good, I've never known anybody like you... - and I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine."

Yellow - Coldplay

"look how they shine for you, and everything you do, yeah, they were all yellow... - for you, I'd bleed myself dry."

Colors - Halsey

"your little brother never tells you but he loves you so, you said your mother only smiled on her TV show... - you're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece... - everything is blue, his pills, his hands, his jeans. and now I'm covered in the colors, pulled apart at the seams."

In Blue - Declan McKenna

"and when she smiles, she knows I'm happy too, in blue, and when she smiles, I know I'm happy too, in blue, in blue."

Bye-bye Darling - BØRNS

"goodbye to the telephone age, I'll miss your voice... - bye-bye darling, we don't have a choice... - what we had they'll never know, every summer night we stayed up late."

Easier than Lying - Halsey

"I'll hang myself if you give me rope... - 'cause I gave myself away for you, you liar, you don't love me too, it's easy for you after all. my heart is massive, but it's empty, a permanent part of me, that innocent artery is gaspin' for some real attention."

Greetings from Califournia - The Neighbourhood

"ooh, I know once you come to California, you will never look back... - I got a place and I thought of you, I tried to decorate and I thought of you. I'm seeing red but I'm singing blue"

Mr Loverman - Ricky Montgomery

"I miss my lover, man"

emails i can't send - Sabrina Carpenter

"It's times like these wish I had a time machine"

Partners in Crime - FINNEAS

"but isn't that what friends are for, even if we used to be more?... - did we look like lovers or partners in crime? did you look like mine?"

21 - Gracie Abrams

"I missed your 21st birthday... - I see the look in your eye and I'm biting my tongue, you'd be the love of my life when I was young."

Memories - Conan Gray

"It's been a couple months, that's just about enough time for me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures, now I kinda smile, I haven't felt that in a while... - so there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again, I can't be your friend, can't be your lover."

California - Lorde

"(Don't want that California love)"

100 Letters - Halsey

"you wrote 100 letters just for me, and I find them in my closet in the pockets of my jeans."

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

"I hate the beach, but I stand in California with my toes in the sand... - just us, you find out, nothing that I wouldn't wanna tell you about, no."

You Are In Love - Taylor Swift

"he says, "look up", and your shoulders brush, no proof, one touch. but you felt enough... - strange look on his face, pauses, then says; you're my best friend, and you knew what it was. he is in love."

West Coast - Lana Del Rey

"down on the west coast, I get this feeling like, It all could happen, that's why I'm leaving you for the moment, you for the moment. boy blue, yeah you."

Saigon - Luke Hemmings

"when facin' the things we turn away from, we're chasin' the way we were in Saigon"

Prisoner - The Weeknd, Lana Del Rey

"you bring good to my lonely life, honestly (honestly), it's hard for me to look into your eyes when I say that I would be nothing without your love... - I think I've been in Hollywood for too long (for too long) 'cause I can feel my soul burning, feel it burning slow."

FRIENDS - Marshmello, Anne-Marie

"we're nothing more than friends, you're not my lover, more like a brother, I known you since we were like ten, yeah"

(this one's just mike's self-deflective gay panic don't worry)

400 Lux - Lorde

"we're never done with killing time, can I kill it with you? 'til the veins run red and blue... - we might be hollow, but we're brave, I love these roads where the houses don't change (and I like you)"

Hard Feelings/Loveless - Lorde

"please, could you be tender? and I will sit close to you, let's give it a minute before we admit that we're through."

(mileven breakup?)

Drive - Halsey

"all we do is drive, all we do is think about the feelings that we hide, all we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign, sick and full of pride, all we do is drive... - and California never felt like home to me... - over analyze again, would it really kill you if we kissed?"

(van scene!)

Wasteland, Baby! - Hozier

"be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking... - and the day that we'll watch the death of the sun, that the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on, then you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs. wasteland, baby, i'm in love, I'm in love with you."

Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

"you leapt from crumbling bridges, watching cityscapes turn to dust... - sharing all your secrets with each other since you were kids."

I Know The End - Phoebe Bridgers

"out in the park, we watch the sunset, talking on a rusty swing set... -but I'm not gonna go down with my hometown in a tornado, i'm gonna chase it... - the billboard said, "the end is near", I turned around, there was nothing there. yeah, I guess the end is here."

[theaverewrites]

Yokai and Yaksha - Playlist & Note

𝙋𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

i'll die anyway. - girl in red

✧.* I reach for me, but I'm not there

It's so lonely, but who cares

It's fine, it's okay

I'll die anyway

Juliet - Cavetown

✧.* Sometimes I act like I know

But I'm really just a kid

With two corks in his eyes

And a bully in his head

Exhale - Laureli Amadeus

✧.* Show yourself to me someday

I will be speechless

But for now let me

Lay it all down

As It Was - Harry Styles

✧.* In this world, it's just us

You know it's not the same as it was

In this world, it's just us

You know it's not the same as it was

Million Years Ago - Adele

✧.* I know I'm not the only one

Who regrets the things they've done

Sometimes I just feel it's only me

Who can't stand the reflection that they see

Cat And Mouse - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

✧.* Am I supposed to be happy?

With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.

Am I supposed to be happy?

With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.

Hole In The Heart - Rachie

✧.* That’s why a hole had opened up where my heart is

Pounding, my heartbeat tried to fill up the nothing

But when i tried to say it loud, the words that left my mouth

Were nothing more than excuses

Hawk In The Night - Madds Buckley

✧.* Sharpen your talons and fight

Claw at the world as it claws out your eyes

We raised you right

Hawk in the night

Overfly - Amalee

✧.* Hands up high

Raise them high

And cast your worries to the sky

If you can't stand, then take my hand

Recently, - Liana Flores

✧.* But recently

Everyone says they are seeing less of me

I could do better if I had energy

Be like I used to be

Old Friend - Mitski

✧.* You'll meet me at Blue Diner

I'll take coffee and talk about nothing, baby

At Blue Diner,

I'll take anything you want to give me, baby

Should've Been Me - Mitski

✧.* Cause, I haven't given you what you need

You wanted me but couldn't reach me

So you went into your memory

Relive all the ways you still want me

listen before i go - Billie Eilish

✧.* If you need me

Wanna see me

Better hurry

'Cause I'm leaving soon

brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

✧.* All I did was try my best,

this the kind of thanks I get?

Unrelentless upset

They say these are the golden years

Crossing Fields - Amalee

✧.* I know your strength is what I lack

You've got my back and now that I've got yours

I have you to thank for lighting up the dark

Because you're here with me, our dreams will soar free forever

Meteor Shower - Cavetown

✧.* Missing pieces of my skull

I'll sew on patches of my own soul

There's nothing you or I can do so let the stars fall

'Cause from up here the sky's my thoughts and we're all so small

A Burning Hill - Mitski

✧.* And I am the fire and I am the forest

And I am a witness watching it

I stand in a valley watching it

And you are not there at all

Fourth of July - Sufjan Stevens

✧.* Did you get enough love, my little dove

Why do you cry?

And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best

Though it never felt right

Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery

✧.* Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you

I need you here to stay

I broke all my bones that day I found you

Crying at the lake

Cloud 9 - Beach Bunny

✧.* But when he loves me I feel like I'm floating

When he calls me pretty I feel like somebody

Even when we fade eventually to nothing

You will always be my favorite form of loving

rises the moon - Liana Flores

✧.* Oh-oh, close your weary eyes

I promise you that soon the autumn comes

To darken fading summer skies

Breathe, breathe, breathe

Thought Crime - Rachie

✧.* The birds cry out their song in the sunset!

The empty ache I feel starts to sing a swan song too

And yet you linger still in the shadows, standing on your toes, sky a flaming red hue

Slipping off my tongue was my goodbye to you

1. Constructive criticism is okay as long as it is legitimate feedback and not just hate.

2. There are a lot of musical references in this story, particularly in reference to the songs listed in the earlier chapter.

3. Please refrain from overly sexual comments.

4. The Xiao that I write is more akin to his Chinese portrayal than his English one. In other words, he's going to be more apathetic than angry.

5. The reader is based on a Japanese mythological creature. It's not a completely accurate representation, as they're only based on that creature, but quite a few of their characteristics have been adapted.

6. The reader is referred to using they/them pronouns, but may present as mostly feminine.

7. This takes place in the canon universe, and thus has canon level violence.

8. This story has topics that are not suitable for everyone, such as themes of grief and trauma, abandonment, and minor s/a. If any of these topics make you uncomfortable, I suggest you click away now.

9. This story will be posted on wattpad (@-AEONSTYX), Ao3 (@aeonstyx), and tumblr (@theaverewrites). Any and all updates about this story and others will be posted on wattpad, so I suggest you follow me there to keep up with changes.

10. Genshin Impact is owned by Hoyoverse. Please support the official release, and enjoy this fan-made story.

[mirkosintern]

Crawlin’ back to you

pairing: dabi x fem!reader

genre: smut with a lil angst and fluff if you squint

notes: reader is a member of the lov, set in the meta liberation army arc (before the war!), possessive dabi, wowee this is my first work!! I never expected myself to be able to write a piece but here we are ehehe this was inspired by a certain tiktok actually. U may have already noticed but the title is from the song do I wanna know? by the arctic monkeys<3

warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, breeding, cum play, dubcon-ish?, toxic relationship, degradation, vulgar language, alcohol

word count: 3k

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That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day Crawlin’ back to you Ever thought of callin’ when you've had a few? 'Cause I always do Maybe I'm too busy bein’ yours to fall for somebody new Now I've thought it through

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Dabi wasn’t one to do feelings. He’s screwed numerous women, but they were nothing more than some toys to fulfill his sexual needs. Neither did he want to have feelings, nor did he need to. Afterall, his side hoes who begged to stay with him even after all the degradation he’s given them disgusted him the most. He would snicker at their pathetic attempts and cut them off ruthlessly.

However, you were an only exception.

No, he did not have feelings for you, he swears he never did and never will. But you were different from his other disposable sluts--he kept you around. He didn’t ghost you, instead, he kept coming back. It is only because you’re a member of the lov as well, he thinks. You are easy to access since you’re always around the lov base, and he doesn’t even have to worry about getting caught by civilians or stupid bitches who suddenly decide to turn him into the police. You guys were practically co-workers with benefits, fuck buddies where the “buddies” part is questionable.

Dabi didn’t mind that he made an exception for you until that night. That very night where you sleepily decided to crawl into his arms after a rough round and whispered him how you loved the rough texture of his skin against yours. That very night where you pressed delicate kisses beneath his jaw. The moment of intimacy—making his heart pound and warmth spread beneath his cold skin—was threatening. You were threatening.

That’s where he cut you off completely. He did not knock on your bedroom door located in the lov base anymore. He stopped sending those “you up?” texts at 3am. He didn’t even lock eyes with you or talk to you anymore.

It feels as if something heavy dropped inside you, squashing your heart to the point where it’s painful. You try your best to ignore the pang in your chest and remind yourself that you guys were nothing more than co-workers with benefits. However, the enduring heartburn only functions to make you realize how attached you were to him. He’s Dabi, the biggest scumbag you will ever meet, what did you expect? What were you thinking? It should be no surprise this happened, right? But having to encounter his stupidly handsome face every day was not doing any help. You are a girl with dignity, you tell yourself, trying your best to ignore his strong scent of campfire and cologne drowning you every time you guys are in the same room.

The pain is suffocating you for weeks, and you finally decide to completely get over him. The night Dabi brings a bimbo to his room and fucks her loud enough for everyone in the lov to hear—for you to hear—you’re done with everything. You step outside, get drunk, do anything to numbify the pain the raven-haired guy has caused you, and even meet a nice-looking guy who seems to be interested in you.

You are doing good without Dabi.

You don’t need Dabi anymore.

You are not letting him get to your head.

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A party.

League of villains is all about privacy, but they also started having some fun after uniting with the meta liberation army. Now they had sufficient money, people and place to throw parties every now and then without the danger of getting caught by civilians. Afterall, a number of heroes were in their side as well.

“Not gonna lie, you guys do know how to host parties.” Keigo smirks, picking up a glass of bourbon whiskey. “It’s fuckin’ lame,” Dabi answers as he downs a glass of liquor.

“So, what happened with y/n?” Keigo throws a suggestive smile.

“The hell you mean what happened with her?” Dabi frowns.

“Y’know, didn’t you guys used to be a thing or something?”

“Nah, she was an occasional fuck and that’s it.”

“Oh really? The Dabi I know never fucks a same bitch twice though. I thought she was something special.”

“Special?”

“Yeah, thought maybe you actually wanted her.”

A smug grin appears on Dabi’s face. “Never even liked her.”

“Have you seen her and her new boyfriend?”

The smile is quick to vanish from his face after hearing the word boyfriend. Dabi’s eyes widen, immediately glaring at Keigo. Before he could say anything, Keigo tilts his chin to point something.

“There they are.”

Dabi turns his head only to find you clinging onto some guy’s arm. Your cheeks are flushed –a pretty, pink glow on your face—as you bat your eyelashes at the guy. Bubbly giggles escape from your lips while you stare at him through half-lidded eyes. The guy’s arm is secured around your waists, pulling you closer to him.

Dabi sees red.

His entire body freezes as his grip around the liquor glass tighten. Dabi doesn’t say anything for a moment, but there is no way Keigo wouldn’t pick up how his cerulean eyes are flaming at the sight. “Well, I thought you knew.” Keigo pats Dabi’s shoulder. “Wouldn’t matter anyways right? You never liked her.”

“…Right.” Dabi takes another sip from the liquor, his eyes still fixed to you.

Keigo’s words are true; at least they are supposed to be true. Dabi didn’t have feelings for you. He doesn’t do romance. No feelings were ever involved with any of the women he’s slept with, and he made sure of it. It was so clear for Dabi without a question.

But why is it unable for him to erase the sight of you with some guy as he forces himself to sleep that night? Why are your sweet giggles echoing his head? Why can’t he get rid of the thought of you in that tight, black dress that perfectly complements the curves of your body? Why is the moment where the guy places his hand on your inner thigh replaying in his head? Why are thoughts of you messing with his mind?

“Fucking hell.”

Dabi gets up. This was fucking annoying. You were truly fucking annoying.

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You tilt your head to check the glowing digits of your digital clock on the nightstand. 2:15am. It’s late, and you haven’t even taken off the dress you wore to the party. You are too tired both physically and emotionally. You’ve done quite a decent job in entertaining the man who’s accompanied you through the whole party, but it was truly an energy-consuming task. You and him walked around as if you guys were the happiest couple in the party; but the truth is that you guys aren’t even properly dating yet. Solely because you have constantly been refusing to properly answer him asking you to be his girlfriend. It’s not that he’s bad looking or anything, but the idea of being with him just doesn’t sit right with you. Ever since you’ve met him, he couldn’t keep his hands off you without asking you anything about consent. You always had to pull his hand away with an uncomfortable smile, yet he never took a hint. However, when a dating rumor about you and him started and spread quickly, you didn’t try to correct anything. Maybe it was because you wanted to pull out a reaction from a certain villain. Maybe your unusual actions at today’s party; clinging onto the guy and laughing at every single word he spoke; was to make Dabi witness how happy you were.

 Truthfully, you were dying inside.

 What was even worse was that none of your attempts seemed to bring an ounce of reaction from Dabi. When have you become so pathetic and desperate? You feel tears welling up in your eyes, hot and burning, but you don’t want to cry. Not for an asshole like him. You take out your phone, find the guy’s name, and text him that you don’t want to see him anymore. You feel a little guilty, thinking that you may have used him to provoke something from Dabi, but your thoughts are too worn out for you to comprehend anything. You flop onto your bed and bury your face in your pillow. You huff out a deep sigh, and the soft texture of your cotton pillow feels warm on your cheeks. In all honesty, you were thinking about Dabi the whole time you were at the party. Whenever the guy’s hand creeped up your thighs or gripped on your ass, you imagined it was Dabi’s, trying your hardest to feel something from the contact.

 You weren’t over Dabi. You never were. Realization hurts, leaving a sour feeling in your mouth.

 Your body shoots up at the sudden, loud slamming sound emerged from your door. Your teary eyes widen at the lean man slamming the door shut. “Dabi?” You ask, not believing your eyes. “What the hell are you doing here?” Without an answer, Dabi’s one hand reaches for your throat as his other hand grips your wrist. His large body is towering over you, and you feel your bed shift as he dips one knee in the mattress. His sapphire eyes pierce through your soul, and you can feel his raging anger just from looking at him.

“You’re such a pain in the ass, y’know that?”

“Dabi, what are you-“

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, pulling you in for a heated kiss. Your lips open reflexively, enabling him to deepen the kiss. The kiss is aggressive, and he doesn’t know whether it is because of his anger or his pent-up desires towards you that he has been suppressing. The kiss gets sloppier over time, hot and wet with saliva and tongue. He lets go of the grip on your wrist and starts tracing your inner thigh with his thumb, and you let out a soft moan. You finally pull away from the kiss to catch your breath, but he doesn’t cease to caress your thigh. Instead, he lowers himself to your ear. “You seem to really love thigh touches, don’t you?” His low voice and hot breath brushing the shell of your ear sends chills down your spine.

“Huh?”

“I always knew you were a slut, but never knew you were this much of a whore. You would bend over any guy who offers you some touches, right?”

Tears swell in your eyes again at his vile words, but it’s hard to talk when his knuckles are repeatedly brushing your clit.

“I’m… not a slut…nngh.” Suppressed moans escape your lips.

“Yeah? Why are you making those sounds then?”

“Dabi…”

He yanks your dress up and dips two fingers inside your lace panties, making you let out a weak yelp. Dabi raises his brows with a smug grin on his face.

“Oh, so she indeed is a slut huh? You get this fucking wet from a kiss?”

His two digits start pumping inside you, and you grip on his white shirt at the sudden sensation. Your gasps and moans get louder, and you suddenly feel his wet lips against your neck. Dabi sucks hard, making sure to leave dark purple marks from your jaw to your neck and shoulder, as he repeats the step of curling his fingers and pulling them inside and out your hole. “Dabi���too fast.” You whine out. “Yeah?” A sadistic grin appears on Dabi’s face. “Be a good slut and take what I give you.” His thumb reaches for your clit, making your legs shiver.

“Nngh…stop, I’m gonna… Dabi I’m gonna cum.”

“Stop? You want me to stop?”

“No!”

“Do you deserve it though?” he slows his pace while teasing your clit. “Beg.”

It’s humiliating, really—but do you have any other choice when you are this close?

“Please, Dabi… I’ll be your good slut. Please let me cum!” Your desperate cries have him pumping his fingers fast again, and soon you’re seeing white. Hot drops of release coat Dabi’s fingers as he pulls out.

“Say ah.”

“A-ah.”

You obey, and Dabi sticks his digits inside your mouth. Your mouth wraps around them immediately, sucking as if it’s a pacifier. “Good girl,” Dabi says as he pats your head, and it makes your stomach swoop with sick pride.

The bulge in his pants is becoming painful, and he contemplates on fucking your mouth. But he’s too impatient; He feels the need to abuse your cunt right now. He wants to hear your screams and cries as he proves who you belong to.

“Take that off.” Dabi gestures at your dress, and you start undressing as he demands. Dabi pulls down his sweatpants and boxers, causing his cock to spring out. It’s so pretty, you think, and you can’t help but admire his red tip, glistening with precum. He pumps his length a few times and lines it up with your entrance. You inhale a sharp gasp as you feel his whole length inside you. It feels so full; it feels as if he’s gonna split you in half if he starts moving.

“Ah, too big.”

“I know.” Dabi looks down on you. “Take it like a little slut you are.”

Before you could even talk back, he is moving inside you. Your moans blend with the noise of the bed creaking; a perfectly harmonized orchestra to Dabi’s ears.

You knew Dabi wasn’t one to prep you or go slow, but you feel like he’s going way rougher than usual. His wild thrusts have your head lolling backwards, and Dabi does not miss the chance to take a hard bite on your neck. You scream out of both pain and pleasure, and you feel two hot streams of tears on your flushed cheeks.

“Aww, she’s crying.” Dabi says in a mocking tone. “Bet you love the pain.”

Humiliation fills your chest and you turn your head away, but Dabi quickly grabs your chin with one hand, forcing you to directly face him.

“Who’s the one making you feel this full?” he asks.

“Y-you.”

“Did he ever make you feel this way?”

Wait, he? Who does he mean by he? Your alleged boyfriend? Could it be possible that Dabi was doing this out of jealousy? You try to comprehend, but it’s impossible for you to think clearly, not when Dabi is fucking you stupid. “No!” You shout.

Dabi’s free hand reaches for your clit and starts rubbing circles. “Tell me, who does this pussy belong to?”

“You…” You try to answer, but he suddenly lifts up your lower body and slams into your cervix in the right angle. It has you moaning even louder, your insides spasming around his cock.

“I can’t hear you.” He smirks sadistically.

“You, Dabi, it belongs to you! I belong to you!” You’re screaming his name like it’s the only word you know, making his cock twitch. “That’s right. You are all for me, all for me to use. Just a pathetic little slut for my cock.” A satisfactory grin appears on Dabi’s face.

Dabi lowers his body down and grunts directly into your ear as he thrusts even faster. The sound of his skin slamming into yours is so erotic, and you can feel how close you are.

“You wanna cum huh?” His words have you nodding frantically, babbling incoherent words. Yes Dabi—wanna cum so bad—wanna be yours—wanna be your good girl—please, dabi.

“Then do it. Make a mess on my cock.”

“Nngh, Dabi!” You scream out his name as euphoria washes down your body. His release follows you soon enough, painting your walls white. You feel warmth filling your belly while his groans echo in your ear. You’re still sobbing and panting after he pulls out, without any energy left to move. As your blurry vision starts getting clearer, you feel his warm skin and the sting of his cold staples against your back. His long arms wrap around your oversensitive body, pulling you closer to him.

“You’re messing with my head.” Dabi rests his forehead on the back of your shoulder.

“Huh?”

You’re confused, but Dabi doesn’t elaborate. His ego doesn’t let him do such thing.

“When you said you belonged to me, did you mean it?”

You bite your lower lip, not knowing how to respond to his sudden question. Millions of unspoken words and feelings are hanging in the back of your throat, creating a huge lump. You swallow them all and spit out a question instead. “Do you want me to belong to you?”

“Yeah.” Your eyes widen at his unexpected response, butterflies fluttering inside your chest. “Be mine.” His low voice vibrates against your soft skin. Your heart melts at his words, and you cannot stop your feelings from overspilling anymore. At that moment you both realize; you and Dabi were meant to crawl back to each other, no matter how hard you both try and struggle.

“I’m yours.” You smile, “I’m all yours.”

[that-wildwolf]

Fic self rec thing

Tagged by @whiskynorocks and @crescentbunny who just happen to be among my favourite people so how could I refuse?

I couldn't.

So here's my top 5 favourite fics I've written. Not my best 5 fics but my favourite.

5. somewhere that is the most far from "goodbye"

I know this one isn't technically done yet, but I already love it a lot. In an AU where both Saren and Nihlus survive (and fall in love), after the war Saren slowly learns to accept his feelings, both for Nihlus and about himself.

excerpt:

"Come home with me today."

Saren looks at the open, inviting hand Nihlus is holding out. He so desperately wants to take that hand, to let Nihlus lead him wherever he decides to, take him anywhere. He wants to go with him.

It is not a good idea. Letting Nihlus believe that keeping Saren in his life is a good idea, that it is not going to end in the worst way possible for him (and, possibly, both of them), can only backfire. He should probably say no, let Nihlus know that this relationship is not a good idea, that Saren is not a good idea. He should not take his hand. He should stay alone, the way it will be safest for everyone involved, he should keep himself away from those he might hurt. He should just leave.

He takes Nihlus's hand.

4. Forever

It's a Shakarian wedding fic. What else can I say? I cried when writing their vows, I love this one a lot... I just do. It's a wedding fic.

excerpt:

"Dearly beloved…"

Shepard could swear her heart was going to beat its way out of her chest.

As Victus somewhat uncertainly spoke the words he'd only learned a few days earlier, she looked around the room. Everyone was looking at her and they all looked so very happy. She loved those people. Every single person in that room was a person she loved and cared for deeply. She couldn't imagine this day without them.

Then, her gaze turned forward, to the person she loved more than anyone. Garrus looked like the very image of perfection in her eyes; the dark ceremonial Hierarchy uniform vaguely reminded her of a suit. After her relentless efforts, his trademark visor was gone. To think that in just a few moments, this man would be hers and she would be his, forever… It seemed completely surreal.

We made it.

3. with every piece in your hand that i could ask for

She's perfect. Nothing more, nothing less than pure perfection. AKA Area Man Very Much In Awe Of His Amazing Wife

excerpt:

He made a point of looking up as rarely as possible during his time on Menae.

And even though his thoughts were constantly with Palaven, they kept being pulled back to Earth. Earth had been hit sooner. Not as strong, but then again they weren't as strong themselves.

Garrus had already lost friends during those two days of hell and wasn't ready for losing Shepard too. Every piece of news from Earth carried both hope and fear with itself. He didn't know if he wanted to know. What if he were to find out she was gone? He couldn't lose her, not again.

So when he heard there was an Alliance delegate with General Corinthus, his heart didn't know if it should leap with hope or tremble with fear. He hurried to the camp with his soul on his shoulder, ready for it to be crushed completely. He had to know. He had to ask the human if they knew about Shepard. They were Alliance, they had to know—

It was her.

Of course it was.

2. Beautifully Struggle Every Day

The war's long over and Shepard and Garrus are happily married, but that doesn't mean they're completely fine.

excerpt:

Garrus runs into the bathroom and stops still.

The shower is running, cold water pouring down in huge volumes. It takes him a while to notice the small movement in the corner of the shower and even longer to recognize it as his wife. She's sitting on the floor, fully clothed and completely wet, her legs curled up and tucked under her chin.

"Shepard?"

She looks up at him with just about the most desolate look he'd ever seen in somebody's eyes.

He's immediately by her side — he didn't even notice the moment his legs moved to run to her. It's an instinct. He's always run to her. Whether it had been running to catch up with her or running by her side, he'd always made his way towards her, ever since he'd first met her. Running to her is the only thing he knows. No matter how badly hurt, how terribly broken, he will always run to her.

1. Crossing A Line

First Contact War AU. When soldier Garrus Vakarian finds a wounded human officer, what probably should do is shoot her on the spot. Instead, he chooses to save her life.

excerpt:

He grabbed the translator and slowly, pointedly, typed in the words translation device.

There was a long while of waiting while the message was processed and eventually displayed on the screen in strange human runes.

He passed it to the human.

She looked at him, then at the words on the screen, then again at him. The woman narrowed her eyebrows and he felt a sudden pang of fear.

She typed a string of symbols he couldn't begin to make sense of into the communicator.

Despite the situation being clearly in his favor, Garrus felt uneasy. What was the message? What was she going to demand from him? He'd heard stories about those N7 soldiers and he knew they were a whole other deal. Should he be scared? He kind of was already.

The translator gave a low beep when it finally decoded the primitively created message.

Garrus felt his throat tighten, especially since he didn't know enough about humans to read the woman's expression and guess her intent. Was this going to be a threat? A demand?

His heart racing, he opened the message.

Thank you for saving my life.