#i feel like I am the crazy one
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It’s like I’ve always seen lesbian as non men loving non men. It’s not about how they present it matters that they aren’t men
Other post for context
To be honest idk anymore.
I am nonbinary and trans masc myself and I call myself a lesbian and sometimes the imposter syndrome gets to me, that I can’t be a lesbian… or that I am not really a trans masc if I am one.
I just… I think I believe in people calling themselves whatever label makes them feel comfortable. You won’t change it anyway???? Seriously let’s be real. If someone wants to call themselves (insert anything here), what will you do to change it? Nothing. And does it hurt anyone? No.
A trans man lesbian? Go for it dude. Trans men got a different experience than cis men anyways and they are inherently queer. Trans men butches exist yeah? If you’re a trans man and you don’t want to be included in lesbianism? Also valid. I am happy to call you a straight/bi/pan man.
And i think that queerness should defy gender and societal norms in general. The definitions shouldn’t be set in some fucking monolith. I’ll never understand people playing some fucking queer police, telling people what they can and can’t do. Your experience isn’t the one and only that is right and it doesn’t mean that it should be the definition. Like Bitch?!
Maybe I am wrong. Sue me. I just think we should let people do their thing.
And like don’t get me wrong. Not everyone has to be into everything. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable being with me if I am a trans masc lesbian, just tell me politely and I’ll say fine. I won’t be mad. I understand that someone could not be attracted to me for different reasons. It can be my personality, looks, or whatever else I have going on. Just don’t fucking attack me and bully me. I just would like you to accept me and let me live my unique and personal experience without making me feel like I am fucking crazy.
#sorry for the rant#i am currently tipsy and angry and I am yapping without any sense#i feel like I am the crazy one#lesbian#wlw#masc lesbian#trans masc#nonbinary lesbian#transmasc lesbian#transmasc#dykeposting#wlw posting#masc dyke#wlw post#asked and answered#answered asks#asks#𖦹
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The real reason Oda had to get rid of her was not for plot convenience, but bc she would have kicked everyone’s ass. (Source: trust me bro)
#Art block auggh but must draw pretty lady aauugghh#also fr thought you mean to tell me this lady with the D. in her name wasn’t out here being an absolute menace#like I feel like she and Roger had to be in the same wavelength of fuckass crazy like cmon now#Rouge and Roger backstory when? (I am delusional)#also her being portrayed as this saintly dead mother figure feels very strange to me. boo to women being killed for plot convenience🍅🍅#also I really tried to draw her similar to how I draw ace bc he is literally a mammas boy#copy and paste of his mom with his dads hair#AGGGHH I NEED MORE OF HERR#AND IF I CANT HAVE MORE I WILL MAKE MORE💥💥#art#digital art#my art#fanart#drawing#digital illustration#one piece#portgas d ace#portgas d rouge#rouge#op#one piece fanart
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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Out of all of the people The Ghost King Phantom expected to relate to, it definitely wasn’t the scrawny red headed photographer of the Daily Planet. Jimmy Olsen has gotten so many temporary superpowers over his time being Superman’s friend. Hell, he once gained a 4th dimensional being’s reality warping abilities when he was given said dimensional being’s powers during a fight. Sure there’s a dozen or so heroes with the same amount of powers he has, but none as suddenly granted to them as a all powerful god that can relate to a teenager.
#bones speaks#hi this is bones in the future: below tags I do mean but I was Not Sober while writing them so they may have severe spelling errors#bones prompts#dpxdc#dp x dc#just google the amount of times Jimmy has had powers and what they are. I just read a comic#where the F PLOT of all things is Jimmy getting superpowers and causing havoc in Metropolis. that’s how frequent this is#the all powerful god powers was in a recent Batman/Superman Worlds Finest issue where he got Mxyzptlk’s powers#like guys. there are SO many heroes that have more powers than Danny in DC.#off the top of the dome I can only name a few (in my defense I am Not Sober so memory is Not Good:)#Raven. The Spectre. Superman. The Atom. Batman (temporary powers). Dr Fate. Martian Manhunter#and I could name more if my memory wasn’t shot rn#this is a mini rant in the tags but I’m so tired of the ‘Danny has so many superpowers it would stump DC’#it would for sure shock them. but they wouldn’t be surprised. why are they all so shocked from Danny’s arrival?#I’ve made many posts about how much more interesting Danny simply being in the JL like it’s just another Tuesday would be interesting#so many folks enjoy the discovery aspect of Danny and not the part where he’s alreaady a JL member and is#*isnt OP. it’s so much more interesting to write a character with flaws. make him regular powered and able to be struck down by a Big Bad#and not just his weaknesses. he’s been beaten to shit by ghosts before. the angst possibilities is crazy.#Billy Batson looking at a kid nearly his age get hurt more and more by Black Adam? Fear Gas setting him on a rampage in Gotham absolutely#destroying his perception of what being safe is anymore. Lex Luther finding his weakness and wrecking his shit#it could be SUCH an interesting direction to take dpxdc but no one does. when I write prompts with those ideas they make a fraction of the#notes of the prompts where I pander and have batfam in them. diversity of ideas in fandom is what makes us strong. keep the new and#unorthodox ideas flowing. it feels like you’re swimming upstream but it’s worth it to help a fandom grow
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so when's the wxs phantom of the opera set
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#ruis hair continues to piss me off forever. and ever#Yes i stole their phantom outfits from the revue gacha game. Whos gonna stop me. I WAS SO MAD THAT PHANTOM NANA IS AN OBSOLETE CARD OK#the discerning revsta + pjsekai fan can see i gave emu nanas outfit and rui michirus. Becaude i am crazy. Edel de/light was crazy.#polysho#proseka#why are there so many fuckfign tags. Why so tagging. -the tumbler#Ok sorry#Watch me go insane. Phantom is such a fucking rui role inknow ok i know i know. thats why i gave it to him. but also. I have emu disease#INSTEAD OF THE BRAINTHEREIS EMUUUUUU!!!!!!#Trying to figure out if i should render these and how sucked. cause the first one was drawn on paper and scanned . i shoildve just left itA#Its ifne idekc. I did another emu phantom drawing but i dont feel like posting it alone so ill have to draw more of this. bye#i dont even like the phantom. and i want to kill andrew llyoyid webber with a hammer. And so should you
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One of my favorite things about Psych is how when they establish a character fact, they stick with it.
Have I at all heard that Gus did tap before the Episode Where He Does Tap? No! But it's brought up/he does tap in several episodes afterwards!!! (Tap-Man and the Seabirds comes to mind)
Did Juliet have a brother before Ewan "JOOOOOHN CEEEEENAAAAA" O'Hara appeared? Not really, although they DID say she had a large (at least extended) family. And they bring him up afterwards!! (Obviously the Bourne episode but also her dad mentions her "and the boys" growing up with Lloyd)
Did Shawn know what Phineas and Ferb was before it was referenced?? Who knows!! But now he's watching their marathons!!
And like!! We love that!! I can't super think of any other examples but there's something so refreshing and comforting to have details that for any other show would've been one-offs never to be brought up again instead become a more nuanced part of the character as a whole!!!
#edit: NOT TO ADD IN ANOTHER THING. BUT I JUST REMEMBERED THAT THEY MENTION THE EP1 DETECTIVE SEVERAL TIMES!!!!#obviously psych isn't perfect#I'm sure there are some details and plotholes in season one or somewhere else that don't get ironed out#but!!!#BUT STILL!!!!#I love psych your honor#just yelling into the void#psych 2006#burton guster#ewan o'hara#juliet o'hara#shawn spencer#I feel like I'm going feral#is this good writing? is this what a good show is?#I feel like I've been living off a steady diet of spn and spn-lite with only avatar as the pinnacle of shows#(it is but with only one example and it's literally peak writing I feel like I haven't actually watched a well-written show in ages)#shows I've liked? sure! shows with heart? certainly!#but good shows??? consistently well-written. long-ass. funny. heartfelt. good shows???#chat am I crazy or is psych actually a wonderful show with good (even if sometimes dated) writing???#(I am still not over John Cena playing Ewan O'Hara I'm sorry)
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I get that everyone wants TikTok back but do we understand how bad it is that it’s happening the way it’s happening. Like we do understand how much of a horrifically choreographed process this is to boost and benefit Trump right. Can we all take a second to pause and go “hey wow something’s been getting fucked up and fishy for days now with Trump being turned into the hero about this even by the TikTok company themselves all of a sudden”?? (more chatter in the tags re tech companies and authoritarian autocrats)
#I feel like I’m insane#and the whole country is just happy to download random apps and lose hours of our lives to companies that don’t care#and who are now getting beholden to the most dictatorial and oligarchical authoritarian government our country has had yet#like does anyone else see the changes in wording and communication and talks that the company and Trump have been making or am I genuinely#just crazy#because this whole fucking society makes me feel like I’m the only one who cares to keep my brain filled with minimum manipulation and#propaganda#THIS IS NOT BEING DONE FOR YOU#THIS IS THEATRICS#DO WE NOT GET YHAT#Like. THIS SHOULD BE A MAJOR RED FLAG#look at the way Zuckerberg and Meta have changed the way they talk#and the things they’ve preemptively done to comply and pacify in advance#and then look at what ByteDance has suddenly started saying in certain days#I am Losing My Mind#GET OUT OF THE OLIGARCHS AND AUTOCRATS POCKETS#I AM BEGGING YOU#PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORDS AND DANCES HAPPENING IN FRONT OF YOUR FACES#maybe I really am crazy#I sound like a conspiracy theorist it’s just that all of this is happening so obviously#am I the only one uncomfortable with this? for real? like#2025#politics and current events#TRUMP AND THE TECH COMPANIES ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND#THEY HAVE NO GOOD IN STORE FOR YOU#AND YOU ARE THEIR CURRENCY AND PRODUCT AND GOAL#PLEASE I BEG YOU THINK ABOUT IT#TRUMP STARTED THE BANNING PROCESS HIMSELF FOR A REASON#Zuckerberg et all are turning into cowards with specific plans for a reason#I am begging you to get out of the manipulation and get out of the line of fire
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OH NO I'VE JUST REALIZED SOMETHING. It's so obvious how did I just catch it.
So Lestat and Armand meet up earlier in Memnoch the Devil, and Armand is wearing all denim and is super dusty. Lestat sees him and lovingly thinks about wanting to clean him up, do his hair, etc. Armand responds 'yeah, you're always wanting that, back in Paris you wanted to perfume me and comb my hair and put me in velvet and embroidery'. (see here for excerpts)
WHEN LESTAT GETS BACK NEAR THE END OF THE BOOK ARMAND IS WAITING FOR HIM! Wearing velvet and embroidered lace! He has left his hair down and uncut like it was back all those years ago in Paris, only it's cleanly washed. (see here for excerpts)
He.... he gave himself the Lestat-likes-it-when-I-look-like-this makeover while Lestat was out.
#lesmand#the vampire chronicles#memnoch the devil#armand#lestat de lioncourt#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL CRAZY. I FEEL CRAZY.#is it romantic? is it deeply sad? i keep swinging wildly between the two#on the one hand it's so fucking cute imagining armand giving himself a little makeover thinking how much lestat will like it when he return#on the other hand.... always always always molding himself into whatever style of object is desired by the men around him.#cute. and also. agonizing. it can be both i guess. that's the joy of armand.#i am sure this is not groundbreaking scholarship but i'm new to these books ok let me gasp at things everyone else already knows#rose reads tvc#interview with the vampire
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George Harrison with his hair tied
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he’s just cool like that
#george harrison#man bun#FACE CARD GOES CRAZY ON THAT LAST ONE#am i a George girl? is this what it feels like?#pretty princess#MY pretty princess#my posts
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"That is where you are wrong, my boy!"
@ratb4stard3 and I deliver another Cowardlyghostbro's(™) collab ✨💛
#Cinderellas castle#The brother of all time did Sir hop and the background 💛💛💛💛#Obsessed with the little froggy scales on Jon btw oh ymgod and just how great he and sir hop look in general i am UNWELL#also just...theeeee background!!!! uhggng!!!!#i can't get over it - its so good#the vibe is jUST RIGHT uhgughughguhuhg loooook at it oh ymgofdddloooooookiminufd#This ones going up in the CGB clubhouse's Hall Of Fame#adjsgkfs gosh I've been wanting to do Fanart for cinderella's castle for a long time but i was struggling really badly with it#But then i was sent the Cursed “Let's collaborate” business card by my favorite ghost and all was well#no you wont get any more context on that#Love doing art with the brother tbh - he makes it feel less like a chore when art is feeling difficult and it becomes a lot more fun 🙏#even tho i take forever with my part#he says its fine but don't listen to him he's crazy 😔😔👎#starkid#Cinderella's castle#what are even the tags for this uh#sir hop a lot#Crumb#??#crumb the mouse#crumb the squire#dunno if i'd count this as spoilers but just in case#cinderella’s castle spoilers#cc spoilers#cinderellas castle spoilers#brrotothers forrerevvrerrer#also i was supposed to post this earlier BUT I FORGOT because im a MONSTER#but its fine#mhm
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tennis
#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#eyestrain#?#i like shapes and colors AND patterns#fun combinations of all of those things#anyway i feel like i don’t talk in the tags on this blog as much as i used to. i need to do that more how else will i make more ppl#parasocially in love w me…..#so hmm. i graduate in less than a month which is exciting bc school sucks ass and i want to be done w it forever (until i decide i want#to go for a masters that is T_T) and have u guys heard abt the mcrtour? making mefeel fucking craaazyyyyyy yes i’m gonna try for#tickets. and perhaps even visit some beloved mutuals in the process. and fool that i am i never finished my last scarf but am wanting#to start a new one but this one is for someone so perhaps i will have more motivation to like. actually finish it lol. knitting btw. i am#not very good at it but it is a good skill to have and crocheting is my mother’s thing and i like the look of knit better. i got yarn the#other day and i was like ough am i remembering their favorite color correctly but if not i can just die forever or smth. i’m not sure#what pattern i wanna do or if i want to add a second color or anything but like i have a small collection of yarn that i got when it was#on sale like crazy so i’m sure i can find smth that will complement my base color if need be#okay i’m done goodbye
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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there are many things about hazel's povs that have an intensely de-racialized vibe to them (read: divorced from the black girl experience) but I think any black person will tell you that the most obvious sign is the complete lack of attention paid to her hair
like firstly:
she's from the 1930s her hair was definitely getting permed and straightened (it was not acceptable to just wear your natural hair out back then. optics + cultural assimilation/you'll be hard pressed to find photos of black american girls with unstraightened hair in that time period unless they're from like..... harlem)
I do believe that marie was straightening it for her For A Time but then she became more neglectful and stopped so hazel had to do it herself. I'm almost positive that hazel wouldn't have even been permitted to set foot in her school building without straightening it because that's just how much of an expectation it was
ok she comes back from the dead. what's she doing to her hair now bc it's not just gonna be cutesy effortless curls falling over her shoulder no matter what the length is
how does she feel about living in a time period where natural black hair is more accepted (read: more, absolutely not fully)
there are no black people around her At All. in fact she's around a lot of white people on the argo (+nico) so that would probably be giving her some intense feelings of double consciousness (look this term up if you don't know what it means) and that would inform how she feels about her hair
theoretically she ought to be wearing her hair in braids for simplicity's sake but I think it's more likely that she would cling to what she knows (perming/straightening) because it's not easy for a 14 year old girl (PSA hazel is 14.5 in hoo not 13 btw 👍) to go from assimilating to deeply-ingrained white hair beauty standards to just proudly wearing a distinctly black hairstyle all by herself
mind you black women and girls can do whatever they want with their hair and straightening/perming it does not always/have to come from a place of self-hatred or whatever but in this particular case back then straightening one's hair was political And a survival tactic. it was as normal as brushing your teeth. it was enforced through dominant cultural messagings about the Absolute Necessity of conforming to white conventions of beauty. if you don't understand then think of it similarly to how you'd think of 1930s women needing to be perpetually dolled up and modestly dressed in order to be considered "good women" and anyways I'm just saying that this would be a lot to unpack for a 14 year old girl so hazel's probably just continuing to do this impractical thing (straightening her hair all the time) like 60% out of habit and 20% out of shame and 20% she doesn't know what else to do
something something about a missed potential character arc regarding all of this and in general there's so little mind paid to race in hazel's povs which is just ridiculous to me because a black girl from the jim crow era should have at least a few feelings about where she fits into modern society even if that society is camp jupiter. rick demonstrates his capacity to talk about how his characters feel about their race most notably in the kane chronicles so I don't think was too much to ask for. see this quote from an early son of neptune chapter:
^ like....... hazel's feelings of out-of-place-ness are There in the text and important to take note of when understanding her character (note that she's been there for like a year already and she still feels like she doesn't belong) but the emphasis is always put on her Being from a different time or Being undead and is never put on her out-of-place-ness regarding her race as a black girl from segregation times who is literally so out-of-place in this weird post-racial camp jupiter society. it feels like such an obvious thing to consider so its glaring absence really bugs me when I reread her povs and it bugs me when her hair is never talked about by extension because It Matters
you might be thinking "well she had a lot going on and she's not a superficial person maybe she just didn't care what was going on with her hair" and my response is simply that Black girls don't get to "not care" about their hair it is not the same thing as a white person going to school with bedhead it's not the same thing At All (if you aren't black then chances are you've never actually seen what untouched black hair looks like in the morning), especially when it's been beaten into your head for your entire life that your hair is ugly and you have to "do something to it" for it to be acceptable (and again...... she's from the 1930s so that feeling is magnified like 50x over). remember that perpetually dolled up modest 1930s woman I mentioned previously. picture her time traveling to camp jupiter of all places in 2010 and struggling to drop all of her makeup/hairstyling routines and internalized misogyny and conceptualizations of what women are "supposed" to be. this is the kind of fascinating character exploration that we really missed out on with hazel (and tbh regardless of her race she was never believably written as someone from the 1930s. I don't think rick even really tried to be honest)
you might also be wondering "how was rick supposed to know/attempt to portray any of that" and then my second answer is that If you're going to write a character who is not the same race as you then you should do some research and we have the internet now so research has never been easier 👍 this would be especially important to do if that person is a poc from the jim crow era I think! (he could have at least googled black hair 1930s)
anyways what I choose to believe (this is pure fanfiction) is that during hazel's first year at camp jupiter (remember that she was there for about a year before son started) nico would have helped her figure something out after observing her distress over her hair c: like they both secretly watched youtube videos on black hairstyles circa 2010 and then they got attacked by monsters for using a laptop (neither of them know how to use a laptop but he's trying his best for her) but then after killing them he helped her do her hair as something she likes that is easy to maintain <3 (I could also see reyna doing this because she surely knows a thing or two from her spa days)
#the descriptions of her hair are very few and when they do occur they're pretty nonsensical/I can tell how reserved rick is being#unfortunately there's a lot of room for plausible deniability because demigod phenotypes don't need to make sense#she has natural cinnamon toast hair and gold eyes so it's just like (throws up my hands) Whatever#but is plausible deniability more interesting! I don't think so!!!!#whatever#one of my favorite things to think about is hazel potentially seeing other black people at camp jupiter#and having really confusing feelings about that because her death is 100% a secret she can't tell them where she comes from#like can you imagine#I love hazel to the end of the world but unfortunately I think she's the most thoughtlessly written main character of pjo#you can't give your character THAT crazy of a backstory and then fall so flat on exploring it man#but I see her potential so she is very gorjus to me#hazel levesque#nico di angelo#pjo hoo toa#underworld siblings#percy jackson and the olympians#the son of neptune#rr crit#<- tagging that just in case but also I am being pretty critical of rick here so I guess it's justified#heroes of olympus
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I know that animation in big blockbuster films is like not ever supposed to look good anymore and whatever, like it's almost intentionally bad, but from an artistic standpoint, can you imagine how hard it would have slayed if they made the minecraft movie purely with pixel animation?
#i mean the whole deal w games like minecraft is that they show how something doesn't need to be High Res#Ultra Rendered to be good.... and it would be so crazy to do that swerve but w an animated film#a super duper mainstream one no less#i realize they would never do this but can you imagine how beautiful it would be LMAO#it would need to be more detailed than barebones minecraft obviously but pixel art is just so gorgeous and then#the blockiness would feel natural in the environment of the movie#don't worry about me i just came off of a full day of drawing and I am delirious (and my wrist hurts)#this commission is tearing my pussy apart and i start thinking abt stuff like the minecraft movie as i go fully insane#sergle.txt
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Domestic Cat Felis catus
2/16/2023 Disney California Adventure Park, California
One of the more well-known Disney cats, because she can frequently be seen hanging out near Grizzly River Run and being admired by parkgoers. Her name is Francisco! The Disneyland Resort actively encourages these feral cats to hang around, as they help with rodent control, but will remove any that become aggressive towards people.
#hazards of taking pictures at disney parks: while I was taking these either chip or dale came up behind me and scared the crap out of me#cat#cats#mostlycatsmostly#domestic cats#feral cat#feral cats#also: I am a HUGE advocate for keeping your cats indoor-only or outdoor under control (leash)#I don't love that disney encourages feral cats BUT they do TNR them afaik and there's not a crazy number of them#I feel like it's relatively rare to see them nowadays?? when I was a kid I saw at least one or two per visit#regardless. big disclaimer bc I am primarily a bird/wildlife blog#I do not approve of outdoor cats lmao#my photos#disneyland#disney parks
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popping in randomly after almost an entire month just to talk non stop about the tsaritsa again everyone sit down.
specifically just thinking about the implications of tsaritsa's ideals originally being about love + the abandonment of those ideals to complete her goal of, presumably, destroying Celestia or whatever she's cooking up. to the point even her people don't love her and I probably don't even remember a time her ideals were of love. now it's all just ice and snow and cold.
which makes romantic fics w her even funnier because she's purposely removed this part of herself and suddenly reader walks into teyvat like they own the place (they do) and I can only imagine her reaction. angry, probably. because why you? what are you doing to her that's caused her hundreds of years of strict adherence to rejecting "love" both from others and to others to just. collapse. absolute shattering of her world and you probably don't even know it bc if nothing else she's good at hiding it. a lot of denial. tries to pick you apart and see what's makes you so different.
and oh she just hates it. she loathes it.
basically one sided enemies to lover trope because she can't stand you for a while but if you stick around she starts warming up to you and it makes it WORSE. so much worse. tries to distance herself but your just everywhere and it gets on her nerves because why does she love you? she isn't capable of love, not anymore. she thought she was.
g-d forbid one of the harbingers or PIERRO notices she'd never live it down. might even consider the implications of just killing you (she doesnt). worse if you know about it and act like a brat she will lose her damn mind
just the tsaritsa being an absolutely horrible mess internally.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa#i could also talk sbt furi here and how similar they r + how writing one of them influences my writing of the other#but anyway#ive been busy moving i havent had time to write unfortunately#but i do have time for tsaritsa! and furi. mwah#i just think its funny imagining tsaritsa trying to be polite snd cordial but ohh shes SEETHING. she hates you. she loves you.#she wants to kiss you snd kill you and devour you. a horrible mess of a woman who closed herself off snd suddenly she feels exposed#she hates it. wants to hate you but oh g-d you make her soft in the worst of ways. she'd destroy teyvat itself if you asked her to#shes like a cat you gotta work to earn her trust but oh lord when you do. velcroed to your side#she will say she despises you before kissing you so tenderly it makes you dizzy. between vitriol she brushes her knuckles against your cheek#longing and yearning so violently you will tear each other apart just to be closer.#is there anything so undoing as loving another so wholly it consumes you?#she swears she's indifferent but she pampers you and sends you extravagant gifts with no name attached yet it smells like her. you know.#oh to be in a horribly complicated relationship thats almost one sided enemies to lovers w the tsaritsa that consumes you both#like two stars wanting to be closer and yet..in doing so you undo each other when you inevitably collide. caught in an orbit that dooms both#this has been ur monthly tsaritsa ranting ur welcome and goodnight 🫡#when i say im crazy sbt the tsaritsa i am so serious. i AM her number 1 fan source me
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