#i feel like Chim would make an insensitive joke not out of malice but out of stupidity

[because-i-am-barely-even-human]

Buck is accidentally outed on the call by someone he knew from the past (it’s not an ex tho, not even someone he was interested in)

When Buck woke up today, he never would have thought that he’ll end up being outed by the stupid prick he knew from college days. He thinks Buck is out and it’s ok to say that (for whatever stupid reason) and it’s no big deal. Buck stills for a moment, because what the fuck? Who even does that?

When the Prick noticed how angry some of the team are (meaning Eddie and Hen), the dumbass tries to save a face and plays it out like he and Buck are friends, which they totally aren’t and Buck shuts it down pretty fast.

Then suddenly Hen goes off on this person, because how could he do something so horrible? It’s a private thing and you have to be an ignorant asshole if you think it’s fine to expose someone’s sexuality without their consent.

Eddie is seething with anger and itches to have some words with the jerk in private (you know, the fight club style), but the need to make sure that Buck is alright is stronger. Besides, Hen seems to have it under control, good.

Buck is touched by Hen’s fierce protection of him and is really grateful. Hen doesn’t seem surprised that he’s bi. She probably suspected it. Yeah, with the way he makes heart eyes at Eddie 24/7, how could she not? Eddie already knew about Buck’s bisexuality, because ✨best friends privileges✨ so he wasn’t startled by the revelation, unlike Bobby and Chim.

Bobby collected himself quickly and had to step up before Hen punched the jerk. No matter how strongly he agrees with her, he is a Captain. Hen gets reluctantly reprimanded for yelling at the civilian while in uniform. She’s not regretting it though and would do it again if necessary.

They get back to the station and things seem to calm down, when Chimney cracks a stupid joke about Buck 1.0. Then suddenly he faceplants into his stinky uniform, which lies beside the truck.

This time Eddie gets reprimanded, you know, for tripping the fellow firefighter on purpose. Not that he regrets it either.

Buck tries to hide his smile but to no avail. Good job, Diaz, mission accomplished 😏

Bonus:

The jerk comes to the station to talk with Buck in private, but Evan is having none of it. Like, get the fuck out, what are you even doing here?

Eddie is not leaving Buck’s side (like always ❤️) and stands there looking like an MMA champion (good ol’ fight club days, well, not good, but you get the meaning). He is absolutely not trying to intimidate this guy, ahaha, no, where did you get that idea?

Bobby’s voice somewhere from above:

I see you, Eddie 👀 You’re on thin ice.

Hen, like the avenging angel that she is, is preparing to bitch slap this Blast-from-the-past dude, all the way from the couch.

Bobby is conveniently makes himself scarce to the kitchen to maintain plausible deniability in case you-know-who gets punched.

Chimney comes up with the plunger (because he’s still in a doghouse and someone needs to clean toilets) to find out what the commotion is.

So, turned out the dude is closeted gay and likes Buck, and when he met him on the call, he thought it was some kind of sign from the Universe and it would be a good idea to try to flirt with Buck. Granted, his idea of flirting is to out someone and make stupid jokes like they are old friends. Dude has no brain cells whatsoever.

Buck: Yeah, congratulations on figuring yourself out. How is that any of my business? What the fuck do you want?

Then dude asks if Buck likes him, you know, like a total moron that he is. He wonders if Evan wants to go out for drinks.

Buck: No, I think I’ll pass. I barely know you, and the times that we talked, which I can count on one hand, you were obnoxious and insensitive, not to mention kind of homophobic. So no, you don’t have a chance. I already met the love of my love, he’s standing right beside me, if you haven’t noticed.

And Eddie is floored and absolutely smitten with one Evan Buckley. He puffs his chest with pride and looks like he wants to ravish Buck. Evan is blushing and gets all adorable. Both of them completely forgot about the audience. The dude gets offended, but scared of Eddie, if he’s being honest.

Meanwhile Chimney gets redemption by chasing out the guy from the firehouse. With plunger.

If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.