#i feel i haven't giffed for my blog since forever

[sandushengshou]

the untamed + text posts

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

Have you always been the way you are now about Russ? I don’t know his music but I see all your posts.

a good question!!

prepare for lots of probably unnecessary words.

i haven't always been like this about russ specifically, but i've always been like this in the way of like.. i get attached to one thing for a while and can't get enough of it until i get burned out(i always love them all though even after i get burned out and maybe drift away from them a bit but they always live in my mind and are part of me forever and i always love seeing things about them)

or sometimes until i feel i've learned enough about them i guess? or until i feel i have what i needed from them, if that makes sense and doesn't sound weird? because i always feel like i'm just searching for something in these bands and i don't really know what it is exactly.

but just in learning about their music, that's part of why i made this blog, so i could learn about bands and musicians and have somewhere to post about them as i go through different ones.

ever since i can remember, i've been like that(billy joel was actually one of the musicians for a little while many years ago(before i had this blog) but i didn't actually learn that much about him at the time, i just couldn't stop listening to a lot of his songs and i still love his songs)

HOWEVER it feels like it's intensified times a billion now with russ.

i didn't know he existed until last year.

story time, everybody gather around and zone out while i talk forever about this:

i think my first memory of seeing his name was when i was making gifs of "new york groove" by hello, because i posted a link around that time to their site that had some information about them and it talked about him helping them out. while i was reading it i was just like "oh neat, i have no clue who this russ ballard guy is, but these are interesting words about this band"

that was innnnnn [me checking my archive] june of last year. THEN. fast forward toooo i think it was november, @burn-on-the-flame changes my life by sending me an argent video, which i am forever grateful for. 💜💜💜💜💜

i was posting and learning about badfinger still at the time, one of my other favorite bands, so i was still fully stuck on them and nothing else.

but as soon as i watched that argent video for the first time, i already knew what it was going to turn into. maybe not the extent of it, but while watching, i was thinking "omg who is this guy in the sunglasses with this beautiful voice and stage presence and who is very visibly in love with music? he intrigues me, i need to know him"

i looked him up a LITTLE BIT(i didn't recognize his name at the time from the information on hello) but i had to stop myself because i was like "no i can't yet, i need to let the badfinger thing fade off naturally first" because i felt it was going to soon enough anyway since i didn't have much left to post or to gif of them and i felt i learned enough(still wanted them with me though because i love them and that's why my url and blog title is of some of their lyrics).

so then fast forward to the end of january. i had already rewatched that one argent video a few times by then, loving it more and more each time. russ just silently living in my head for that whole time. he was kind of just some mystery guy to me that i couldn't stop thinking about because there was just some sort of comfort kind of vibe about him.

i didn't really know anything about anyone in the band yet, but i started making gifs of that video and in the tags on my first gifset of them even, i was like "get used to them because they're staying for a while". (because usually in between my obsessions, i'll gif some videos of various bands/artists until i get attached to one, so i felt i should warn everybody)

i knew they were gonna be special to me even though i hadn't really listened to their albums yet, just the songs in that live video, although i already knew "hold your head up" because it's been played a lot on the radio. i've always known it but never really thought about it. i THINK i knew "liar" too, but probably the three dog night cover of it, since that one was the hit(i also knew the three dog night version of "chained" but i FORGOT I LISTENED TO IT until i saw that they covered it and it's on the three dog night vinyl that i have. i had no idea until i was looking at the giant list of written songs on russ's wikipedia page).

ANYWAY. knowing they'd be special to me, i listened to most of argent's albums in order, but it went like

starting with the first album, i listened to it when i was supposed to sleep, but i stayed up a little bit late just so i could lie there in bed in pure darkness with headphones on and have NOTHING around me to distract me from the music.

i did this for their firstttt three? albums? or four maybe. i can't remember. i think it was the first three. and i can say that this is my favorite way to listen to any music for the first time even though i haven't done it with anything since then. i kind of wish i did the same with the other ones and with russ's solo albums, but it's fine. so i'd listen to one album for a few days and then move on to the next one in the same way until i get used to the songs enough in small amounts at a time.

so then fast forward to me actually learning more about russ. i almost don't even have words. literally every single thing about him is just. beautiful is the only word i can ever think of to describe him, really.

from the way he got through his childhood accident, his fears, his depression and the way he talks about it in interviews and always points out to everybody that it won't last forever, one foot in front of the other, etc. that kind of stuff, the way he went all out on reading books about like psychology kind of stuff and mental wellness and started putting a lot of that into his songs to help others, the way he's always so encouraging and uplifting, the way he'll do things like keep the bus waiting because he's not done spending time with the fans yet, the way he chose to stay home with his kids to see them grow up instead of touring even though he really missed touring(and he took a big hit in doing that in terms of people knowing his music exists but he knew what was more important), the way he helps other people with their music, the way he cares about animals and has been vegetarian since like the late 70's/early 80's and became vegan around the 2000's, the way he's always so quick to tell his friends he loves them all the time, hugs everybody always, just wants more love in the world and for everybody to be happy and live the life they want to live and find a passion. his small little inspirational speeches he does for song introductions sometimes. LIKE. it's impossible not to love him, anybody that knows him would agree. he's literally just a happy, loving ball of sunshine, just living his life and doing his best all the time.

and then his MUSIC. i cannot stop listening to him. he's done quite a bit of different things over the years, AND chances are, most people know at LEAST one of his songs(but probably more than one), but from other bands/artists probably. whether it's them doing a song he just wrote or if it's a cover of one of his. i mean, there's so many.

but most of his hits were through others, and then almost nobody knows who wrote it/originally did it. he's never had the recognition or appreciation he should have for the amount of things he's done. in fact, you get stuff like the video on youtube of him doing 'since you been gone' on supersonic where the description of it is just somebody totally trashing him for no reason. like????? why. (just about all of the comments were defending him though and that made me happy)

so many other musicians out there know him and have nothing but praise and respect for him, which makes it even more sad to me that hardly anybody outside of that knows him. but his constant passion and love for writing and making music is amazing to me, and his level of discipline along with that.

he's just VERY INSPIRING TO MEEEEE for so many reasons. he's been actually changing my life this year in very big ways.

and because he's very similar to me in some ways, the way his brain works feels like it aligns with mine so often. i've never come across somebody like that before in my life. i love the way he makes me feel less alone in the world just from him existing. like, he really gets it. he understands. i don't know how to explain that better.

so IN CONCLUSION, although i do get obsessive about bands and musicians in similar ways, i have never experienced it quite like this before with this much positive impact on my life in just one year. i hope it never stops. he took me right out of depression for a while there and, although it keeps coming back again now, i feel like i can handle it a little better than before.

i've never been able to REALLY choose a favorite, like #1 FAVORITE musician above all before, i always considered all of my favorites as equal favorites, but now i've found him. russ ballard. the light of my life.

[me snapping my fingers as everybody is 100% zoned out] okay i'm done rambling now

(if you ever want to know any of his music, i would be glad to share some)

[kth1]

hey all! (long text post ahead)

it's been a hot minute (again) but i'm here to say that i apologize for not being consistent for long over a year now. i hope the holidays brought you all joy in some way shape or form. i hope the new year brings peace and positivity toward you all. thank you to all the people who continue using my track tag (because i've missed out on so much, you tagging me allows me to have a quicker catch-up rate) and thank you all who keeps this community on tumblr still active! since i know i haven't been one of them for a bit now. it's been a long time since i've touched photoshop for this blog but life is life. i'm still figuring it out myself and i don't have all the time as i used to to be on my computer and making things. however, 2025 is bts year! so hopefully i can get back into the swing of things and get excited for the boys coming together again. if not, i know so many others will be excited no doubt!

this blog is still something i cherish and happy to have, but i know my era of being a full blown stan has passed me. i still very much support bts and look forward to their future projects but i know the creating gifs and fics and whichever else has been something that's left my hobby-list. i do enjoy the idea of them all, i just lack any and all motivation for the way i used to hustle on here haha (understandably so).

i still plan on being here! i love this little space. even though i feel very disconnected from any others compared to how it used to be for me - but that is ok! every person here grows. everything boils down to the support of bts and that's the main common interest with everyone.

i do want to thank anyone and everyone who has tagged me things in the past, i'm sure i've seen the notification but if i never reacted to it i apologize. i appreciate the thought of including me regardless and it means a lot to me! to those who i've lost contact with, i hope you are doing well. to those who i never really chatted with or got close to, the same goes to you! i wish everyone healthy and happy times. you all deserve it, honestly. <3

for me, who knows what'll happen. i'm just here and there for now. holidays have been good to say the least, the new years always makes me sad (same feeling whenever it's my birthday), and i'm still being active with work, gym, videogames, and volleyball! i'm just a gal figuring out life and i'll forever be figuring it out :)

best wishes to everyone, truly. and this is also a text i'm sending out to say "hi!" to everyone :D hope you all have a great day!

[farcillesbian]

"I need to protect Laios, Falin, and the others... I must protect them...!"

pt: "I need to protect Laios, Falin, and the others... I must protect them...!"

id: end credit art from the dungeon meshi anime. it shows marcille and falin running to catch up with shuro, laios, namari, and chilchuck. /end id

welcome to my humble blog! ʕ`･ω･´ʔゞ [← waving bear kaomoji]

expect to find art, alternative music, bugs, science, bears, and more! frequently used tags will be added to this post.

i add image descriptions when they're not already included in a post.

if i add an image description to your post, please edit it into the original post - that's the most accessible way to do it aside from including it from the get-go. no credit is needed.

please do not add undescribed images to a post you're reblogging from me. if you need help describing something, my inbox & DMs are always open and I would literally rather describe the entire thing for you than have you post it undescribed. more information about image descriptions and the like can be found under #accessibility.

id: a divider made of different plush bears /end id

more info about me under the cut!

if you are a minor, i won't follow you back but you're free to follow - please block the tag "minors dni" though. i don't really post much nsfw but it does pop up from time to time.

please go share Najlaa's fundraiser and donate what you can!

id: two identical gifs of a plush rainbow worm inching along. /end id

about me:

my name is peach or riley, pronouns are he/they/fae, and i'm a transmasc femme lesbian - see my pronouns page for more info if you're curious how i like to be referred to!

i'm 27 (♎ libra), i've been on tumblr since 2010, and i have a master's degree in biology!

i enjoy reading (seriously, i have read over 80 books so far in 2024) with a particular fondness for sci fi and fantasy. i also read a lot of manga!

i also really enjoy music - i love listening to albums front to back when i discover an artist i like and reading up about them on the internet. I have over 100 CDs in my collection. i have spent hours on end researching songs that fit a particular vibe that i want to curate a playlist around. i also love reading about specific genres and their origins. my top genres include midwest emo, screamo, and shoegaze, but i will generally listen to any kind of music. if you say you listen to everything except rap, you're being antiblack and you should shut the fuck up and think about it.

#tunez is where i share music i enjoy.

my favourite video games are the pokemon mystery dungeon games (explorers of sky is the best), the dragon age series (zevran is forever in my heart), baldur's gate 3, the mass effect series, dave the diver, final profit, and civ 6.

previous URLs you may know me by include zevbian (will probably come back to it when the new dragon age releases), dyketorbjorn, and chubey.

i write image descriptions because this makes the internet a more accessible place for many people - first and foremost, blind and low vision people, though it can be helpful to others as well. posts with only alt text are tagged "id in alt text" and posts without any description are tagged "undescribed". descriptions I have added myself are tagged "described". i do not tag fundraising posts as undescribed even if they aren't because i believe that they need as much exposure as possible and the images they include are usually secondary to the intent of the post.

feel free to look at my carrd that I haven't updated for a few years, lol

[ice-sculptures]

hey everyone!! so, originally, i wanted to do one of these back when all of y'all were posting your 'follow forever' + favorite blogs lists for new year's eve, but at that point in time i didn't feel like i knew anyone well enough to make a full list. but now, it's been almost nine months (holy shit!!!) since i joined this fandom, and there have been so many people that i've connected with and who have made my experience on here so much fun and so special.

plus...it's my birthday today, so i thought - what better way to celebrate it than to show my immense love & appreciation for all my mutuals, followers friends, and anyone who has ever made my tumblr experience better?

this isn't really in any particular order, and also, i am so so sorry if i forgot anyone. i had to type this out at least six times over the past two months because tumblr kept deleting my progress for some reason, so i'm really sorry if i missed anyone because of it. i recognize the urls of anyone that regularly interacts with my posts, so i promise that if you've ever left nice tags in the reblogs of my gifs or replied to any of my WIPS or tagged me in a gifset or in a tag game or sent me a nice ask or anything at all, really, please know that i think you're wonderful and i love you all so much even if tumblr hates me and decided to erase all of the evidence of it ���

okay, enough dillydallying!! putting this under a cut so that it doesn't swallow ur dash whole....n here we go :)

@fireplceashes hi jen!! i know i said like. just one paragraph above that this was in no particular order, but i immediately broke the no. 1 rule of law and lied, bc as my very first friend in this fandom you are so undoubtedly so special to me and i'm putting you first just because i Can and no one can stop me. but anyway. where do i even begin with you? you are easily one of the sweetest people i have Ever, ever met - not just on tumblr, but in my real life as well - and i really love talking to you So much. thank you so much for always listening to my rants, and checking up on me, and just generally being there for me. you're just a really soothing person to talk to and i never have to worry about being 'too much' or anything like that when i'm talking to you. and of course - you are also so, so talented, and your gifs are absolutely stunning. they always turn out so beautifully, and i'm so in awe of your editing skills. basically...i'm just Very grateful to have met you, and *mike wheeler voice* all of my other mutuals, they're great, but my fandom experience would not be the same without you ❤️

@basiltonpitch spencer!! i feel the need to echo the first thing i said to you and remind you that i think you're a genius :') fun fact that i haven't told you: when i first found your blog, even before i realized that you were That person who wrote the benvi meta that i loved, the first posts that i saw from you were your beautiful web weavings, and i was immediately like Who is this person??? and Who gave them the permission to stomp all over my heart like this?? wtf?? i just. i love ur brain So so much and i'm so grateful that i get to enjoy your creativity in not one but two of my favorite fandoms (soon to be 3 with 911 maybe?) oh also...this is slightly embarrassing but i've gone back through your blog a few times just so i can read your incredible meta because all of your thoughts are so valuable to me. you are the Only person on this site that i trust to Get devi vishwakumar and one of the biggest reasons why i'm so excited for never have i ever s4 to drop is so that i can experience it alongside you!! and even outside of your creative genius, you are one of my favorite people to talk to bc you're so kind and so supportive and such an absolute sweetheart and i really love hearing everything you have to say. so. um. basically. i am just a Spencer Enthusiast through and through 💖

@padmedala carson!! hello!! first off, i've said this to you a million times, but i want to thank you once again for writing one of my favorite pieces of byler fanfiction. do you know that one post about reading fanfics and having to stop because 'he would not say that?' well, your work is the epitome of reading a fic and feeling wholly satisfied because yes, he would say that - in fact, i would not hesitate for a minute to say that you have the strongest grasp on will and mike's characterization - especially their dynamic together - out of any writer i've met in this entire fandom. like...i enjoy your writing so much that i've read a couple of your pieces for IT despite not having any knowledge of the source material simply because i wanted to experience more of your work. you're also such a deeply kind and supportive person, and you have no idea how much i appreciate every single time you've checked up on me or sent me a sweet message or even just dropped into my inbox to say hello. you make my dash infinitely brighter, and i'm so very glad to know you and have you as a friend on here 💞

@wllbyers dani!! hi!! i have so much to say abt how wonderful you are, and i was struggling w how to articulate this for a while, but then i remembered that you once said to me that you found my presence on the dash comforting, and honestly, that's exactly how i feel about you. forgive me for the awkward metaphor, but seeing you on the dash is like coming home after a long day and having a warm, home-cooked meal. seeing your url and icon always makes me smile, and i'm so grateful that we're mutuals because of how kind, considerate, and utterly genuine you are!! i don't know if i'm describing this right, but you just feel so real, you know? i feel like your personality shines through with every post you make, and i always love seeing it. and i'm sorry if this is weird to say, but your openness and your authenticity about everything going on in your life makes me feel a little bit less alone about my own struggles. also do you remember when you started watching 911 and eventually ended up getting ahead of me, and you tagged each and every one of your posts just so that i wouldn't get spoiled? i know it seems simple, but the sheer fact that you thought of doing that just for me had me melting into a little puddle w my face looking like that one meme of kristen bell. you are just so, so lovely and i'm unbelievably glad we're mutuals 🥰

@willblogger ima i've said this many times before but i absolutely Need to say it again: you are genuinely the funniest person on byler tumblr. i cannot count the number of times that you've made me full-on belly laugh (to the point where my stomach starts to hurt) and completely destroyed my attempts to casually and inconspicuously scroll through tumblr in public places. i dunno how you do it at all but every single thing you say is such an absolute delight and i am always giggling n kicking my feet when i read the tags on all of your posts. the thousands of people on tiktok and twitter copying your jokes could never do it like you. you've also got this deep understanding of the way the text has been written and i really appreciate how your analysis honors the characters as they are instead of trying to make them more palatable them for this fandom. it's just. it's rare to find people that love these characters as they are and understand them as well as you do and i feel very lucky to have found your blog. also this is not related at all but ur plushies are cute as fuck & i love them :) OH!! n thank u sm for being my number one stevebucky enthusiast mutual n partner in rage when it comes to avengers endgame!! can't wait to have a hate party w you (if you'd like) in five days 💗

@willelfanpage SARA HI HELLO do u see me waving at you. this is me holding up a banner screaming abt how much i love you. as the resident fandom cheerleader who gives and gives and gives so much love to everyone she interacts with, you deserve someone cheering YOU back on and that is what i am here to do!! you are so brilliant and you have never made an incorrect post in your life!!! all your fics are wonderful and i've loved reading them!! you are kind, you are smart, you are funny, and you make everyone around you feel so safe and comfortable and welcome here. like. i can't tell you how much i admire how open you are with your kindness and friendship and how you give it so freely to everyone you interact with. i love talking to you so much - whether it's hearing about your life or sharing our ideas with one another or just. venting about anything i want to - and your enthusiasm is utterly infectious and makes me feel more hyped and excited to be in fandom. forgive me for being so sappy on main but i will never not be touched by your endless love for fandom, not only these characters and the works that people make, but for the people around you as well and i hope u know i love u very much too 💞

@jackietaylcrs hii marianne fellow haver of good taste!! i remember you once made a post wondering if your followers would still love you if your stranger posting went down to 0.5% and i wanted to lyk that i definitely would!! i really like reading your commentary on ST and yellowjackets, but even when you're posting about a show that i'm not familiar with, you have this Way of speaking that i find very charming and funny and entertaining, and you bring this inimitable energy to my dash that i doubt i could ever find elsewhere. i like the way you sign off your posts with 'and like i say: brf slt.' i think it’s Neat n it fits you very well. alsooo THANK YOU very very much for being the one to convince me to watch yellowjackets!! people have been telling me to watch it for a long time but in the end it was your posts that made me say, fuck it, and finally watch it. also. um. ur posts abt stephen harrison make me feel very Seen so. thank u. ok bye 💗

@emblazons hello marie my beloved mutual marie!! honestly, out of everything in this post, this message was the hardest to write because i don't even know where to begin with you!! you bring so, so much to this fandom - your thoughtful, entertaining, levelheaded commentary, your stunning gifsets, your logical and witty posts, your incredibly supportive and kind personality, and your endless passion for this show and all that goes into making it, as well as our shared love & enthusiasm for noah schnapp 😅 every time i think you've made the most brilliant observation or put out the most beautiful set, you go and top yourself by finding something new or making an even prettier gifset. if i had to pick one person whose contributions to the fandom enriched my experience of this show? more than anyone, it would be you!! and i could go on and wax poetic about your talent forever (as i have on many, many occasions bc you deserve it 🥰), but i'm gonna end it here by saying that you are a gift to this fandom and one of my absolute favorite people on here, and that i'm beyond grateful to know you.

@mikeandwillel sandy!!!! you are so so smart and your analysis is absolutely incredible. i look forward to each and every one of your analyses because you always find the most clever parallels and your deep dives into each of these characters' arcs are always written with so much care and skill. and of course, i forever have you to thank for writing The ultimate masterpiece (your s4 painting arc analysis) that finally convinced me of byler endgame and thus made my fandom experience so much more relaxing and fun. i also really love & how much you love mike for all that he is -- i feel like it's a little rare in this fandom, so seeing how much you adore his true character and how you Understand him better than anyone else i've ever met makes me really happy. and not to mention, i have no idea how you managed to get so good at gifmaking in such a short amount of time but all your sets are so beautiful!! you're a gem fr 💖

@babygirl-jonathanbyers abbyyyyyy hello!! do you know how much i love seeing you on my dash? i love your pure, unapologetic love for jonathan, jancy, and the byers brothers and it really makes my whole day when i see a post from you appreciating those characters/ships. your moodboards are also So pretty and your presence on my dash is so positive and welcoming. i hope you're doing well on your hiatus rn and i can't wait to see you back on here again 🫂

@elmaxed lumiiiii hi!!!! when i think of you, honestly, the very first word that comes to mind is creative, because you bring so much to this fandom and i'm so grateful for it. i'm obsessed with everything you write because your fics are so lively and fun and make me smile uncontrollably every time i read them, all your headcanons are brilliant and adorable, your moodboards are gorgeous and not to mention, your themes are always so beautiful!! you're just...such a ray of sunshine on my dash and i'm so happy to have followed you 🥰

@mlchaelwheeler sarahhhhh my favorite stonathan pioneer and one of my first mutuals in this fandom!! i think you already know this but your analyses were a huge part of what got me into the byler fandom in the first place and i have never looked back, so thank you for that!! i Love love love ur theories (especially the s5 spec stuff) and i love seeing u in my notifs and reading your lovely and enthusiastic tags on everything you reblog and i love your love for st's OST!! you're a really smart, sweet, and positive person with the best opinions and i am forever rooting for mike to get a sword in s5 just for you 🙏🏼

@bylrndgm dearest elz you have no idea how happy your blog makes me 🥹 you're one of the most talented gifmakers i've ever met, and i always find myself smiling so much whenever i see you've posted something new (especially your byler x TS edits 🥰) because they're always so beautiful!! i've also always felt like your blog and everything you've posted is one of the purest and most expressions of love for mike and will....it's so clear that you love them So much and your blog makes me so happy to be part of this community. you've also always been so sweet to me throughout my entire time in this fandom and you're one of the people that has made me feel most welcome here. also since i never ended up responding to your DM i wanted to say that whatever path you choose, i'm sure that you're going to crush it and i am rooting for your success always 💖

@madcleradin sierra madcleradin byhops finalgirlbyers willcoded!! ok i promise i don't mean this in a weird parasocial way but i kind of admired you from a distance for a while even before we were mutuals just because every single one of your posts that ended up on my dash had me nodding my head and tapping my brain in agreement and clapping for u like this 👏🏼 all of your takes are top tier and i love how passionate you are about everything you talk about!! you're def one of the sweetest, friendliest, and coolest people on byler tumblr and following u has been such a gift ❣

@byclairs hello emily!! your gifs are absolutely stunning and i love following you because i Know i can always count on you to have the most based takes, both on stranger things (especially ur will takes - those keep me sane fr) and on fandom as a whole. also just wanna say that you have the best taste in ships and that you've got a 10/10 banger of a url that always has me mentally giving you a thumbs up whenever i see you on the dash ❤️

@heroesbyler stav!! you're one of the most brilliant analysts on this site and i'm so in awe of all of the incredible theories and analyses you've posted!! i'm obsessed w all of your banger gay mike posts & i'm also both fascinated and disturbed by all of the dots you've connected regarding brenner, henry, & the lab. your posts are so insightful and compelling and you've made me think about so many things that i never would've noticed on first glance. i also love that you're both unflinchingly confident but also insanely kind - a rarity in most fandoms, especially this one, and i love that energy on my dash. i'm very proud to be your grandma (your words not mine -- no i will not let you forget about that 🙏🏼)

@mandycantdecide hiiiii amanda!! i love your blog so much, and even though we don't share all of the same fandoms i love seeing your posts about everything you're interested in because i can always feel your energy and enthusiasm for it no matter what :) in fact, it was actually your posts that made me want to get back into 911, and you have no idea how grateful i am to you for that because being in that fandom is the most fun i've had in a really long time. so thank you, thank you thank you for that, and for generally being so sweet 💕

@howtobecomeadragon ayla!! hello!! i know we don't know each other super well but i Really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your posts and all of your contributions to this fandom. you were one of my first favorite blogs when i first joined in august and you have no idea how thrilled i was when you followed me back haha 😅 i looooove your theory posts so much and i think your fics are fantastic (and i am Eagerly awaiting the end of come back to me and forgive everything so i can read it). you're also super sweet and kind to everyone around you, and i love seeing you on my dash 💞

@mrperfectlyfinetv hi jake!! as my designated Swiftie Mutual i feel like i should let you know that i don't usually follow taylor swift blogs bc swifties are scary but your gifs are so gorgeous and your takes are so good that i just Had to break my rule and follow you anyway. i really enjoy reading all of your opinions on miss swift even if you are a rep hater asdkjendfcskjflejrf and i adore all of your pretty ST and taylor swift gifsets!! i also love how much you love speak now and you've definitely made me go back and give it a few more listens so that i can appreciate it more & at this point i'm begging taylor to release speak now tv soon just for you 🫶

@magentamee - hi bre :) your art style is absolutely delicious and your writing is so cute and i've always noticed how committed you are to uplifting everyone around you in this fandom. also this is random but your friendship with amanda and @/likegoldintheair is so cute and whenever you guys post about each other i always find myself smiling at how sweet your interactions are. you’re just a person who always brings a smile to my face when i see you on the dash and i want to thank you for that 💗

@paintingformike hi!! i've said this before but i really do think you've always been The strongest soldier in the byler fandom (like, ngl your posts were Carrying byler tumblr for a while there while everyone was still in their debating-over-s5-canon phase). you've always been so levelheaded and astute with your observations, and i've always admired and respected how your posts make it seem so simple and So clear how all of the overarching themes of the show are leading to byler endgame. you've got an incredible way with words and i'm so glad to have you in our fandom 💞

-

and now for the creatives in this fandom - some incredible gifmakers whose beautiful sets have been the highlight of my dash, some wonderful writers who have ripped my heart out over and over again only to stitch it back together seamlessly just one paragraph later, and brilliant fan artists who are able to capture so much and make me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion with just a few brush strokes:

@sharpesjoy - em!! you're an absolute sweetheart and such a joy to see on my dash. all of your gifs are so gorgeous and so clearly infused with all of the love that you have for everything you watch and i've added several shows to my watchlist because your gifs have made me want to watch them so badly 💞

@heroeddiemunson - kai!! your creations are so beautiful and you have this unique gifmaking style that i'm totally obsessed with!! your colorings and typography are always so pretty and i Love how special and creative your sets are, especially the D&D character sheets. like.....i have no idea how u come up w all these incredible ideas but i'm so very glad u do bc my dash is better for it❣️

@kaliprasad - hi!! your blog is amazing and i'm so glad that i found it bc all your gifs are fantastic and i love them So much. i think your talent is insane tbh, that byers brothers set that you made for me a little while ago is still one of my favorite things i've seen on this whole site, and i love that you love them just as much as i do 🫂

@kingofscoops - no one, and i mean no one, does coloring like you!! all of your sets are so vibrant and bring so much life to my dash & i think the ST fandom is very lucky to have you ❤️

@aliecenthightower - emilia!! your gifs are stunning and i'm completely in love with your song lyric edits. they're all absolutely beautiful and i'm in awe of how perfect and emblematic the lyrics you choose are, like you just Get these characters, y'know?

@mayahawkins - MADDYYYYYYY you are So talented, and believe me when i say that your gifs have been the Biggest inspiration for my own gifmaking journey. all your sets are so pretty & i love everything you make - including your playlists which live rent free in my mind!! but as a reminder i also love following your blog for You and not just your gifs :) you're an incredibly sweet person and ur presence on my dash is utterly invaluable 💗

@padme-amidala - hi erika!! okay, calling you a gifmaker almost feels wrong because that word doesn't feel like enough to encompass how beautiful your work is...all ur ideas are So amazing and you have such a natural eye for color and detail!! it is so clear that you pour so much love into all of your creations, and if i'm being honest, one of the reasons why i am so grateful to be a byler shipper is so that i can appreciate your craft to the fullest. and you're also Such a genuinely kind person that i always look forward to seeing on the dash!! thank you for being so lovely!!

@wiseatom - hi thea!! your writing is the ultimate definition of comfort. when i read ur work, no matter what i'm doing physically, mentally i am in my cozy bed with the fireplace crackling in the corner, surrounded by twinkly lights and warm blankets, sipping hot cocoa bc that is the kind of emotion ur writing invokes ✨

@byeler - irene!! your fics were my introduction to the world of byler fics and i admire you and your writing so very much 💞 i don't know how it's possible for one person to have this much skill and talent, but you do, and i'm so grateful that you've chosen to share it with us. eagerly waiting on a new heavy hopes chapter was one of the highlights of my fandom experience and that fic is a piece of writing that i will always come back to over and over again 🫶

@astrobei - suni i have been reading fics for over a decade now and i have still never encountered a writer that does emotion quite like you do, devastating me with every single fic you put out. i promise i mean this in the best way possible but you're So damn good at capturing all of that heartbreak and pain and inflicting the same agony on your readers, and it would have killed me by now if not for the fact that you're equally good at writing the sweetest fluff that has me melting into a puddle whenever i read 🫂

@hopelessromanfic - lyssaaaa!!! i've been Such a huge fan of landslide ever since you started writing it - it's one of my all time favorite fics in the fandom and i'm obsessed with the storyline and your characterization in all of your fics 😍

@artistaquinterob - hi!! your art style is so ADORABLE and your use of color in your work is stunning and i just adore everything you draw, especially your will and el art and your jargyle art 🥹

@junkoandthediamonds - your character studies are beautiful and i'm obsessed with your byler comics, your gifs and your ST x DC crossovers!!! i love your realistic style so So much and if i worked for the duffers i would 1000000% hire you to draw the official comics because i can't get enough of your work 🥰

@livsmessydoodles - fun fact: last year, when HSMTMTS s3 was airing, i remember seeing your rina art throughout the season and immediately fell in love with your style and your interpretation of the characters, and the same exact thing happened when i saw your ST work, and it wasn't until you followed me that i put the pieces together and realized that you were the same person 😅 your style is So gorgeous and your art just makes me so happy, and trust me when i say that i am mentally wallpapering all of your work to the inside of my brain so i can look at it forever❣️

and of course, a very special shoutout to all of the people that i don't know too well but are still such a comfort to have on tumblr: @miwism @yearninginblue @kittykat940 @robinsnance @jesper-faheyss @bylersheart @usergabby @achingly-shy @wheelersboy @wontbyers @stbyers @will80sbyers @watpoetry @frodohaven 💝

+ to all my other mutuals: tumblr wouldn't let me link your profiles because of some ridiculous limit, but please know that i see all of you and i am hugging you through my screen rn. thank you!! 👍🏼

[kuzcoskingdom]

OK so I've been following your blog for almost a year now because I love the Emperor's new groove and thought your posts about it were cool, and I also found the posts about the Emperor's new school intriguing, because it seemed like a good show even though I had not actually seen it before. So this weekend I finally started watching the show and I've gotten to episode 10, and oh boy I love it so much! Even just from the first few minutes of watching the show I was invested because the theme song is so good! And even when I saw her in the posts and saw you talking about how cool she was, I was like Oh yeah Malina seems like a cool character. But now that I'm watching the show I can finally see how cool she truly is! She's amazing I love her so much!

okay so first of all i am SO sorry that it took me forever to answer this omg... i remember seeing it weeks ago and thinking "this is such a nice message to receive, i'll reply as soon as i can" but then so many different things kept getting in the way... anyway though, i actually haven't even had this blog for a whole year yet haha! i started it back in january of this year because i was in the middle of yet another phase of emperor's new groove obsession and i realized that i'd seen active blogs dedicated to all of my other favorite disney movies, but no emperor's new groove blogs, so why not make one myself? and i think i've been seeing you in my notes pretty much since the beginning, so it's awesome that you're still here! i really want to make more gifs of the movie, more gifs of other things related to the franchise (and on that note: i am literally always open to gif requests!), and just more posts in general because there's all kinds of things i'd like to talk about and share on here but life itself keeps getting in my way. i really hope to be more active in the coming year.

i actually have some pretty mixed feelings about the emperor's new school. there are things i love about it and things i really don't, and some of those things i don't love in canon, i've sorta changed in my mind with personal headcanons lol. but i don't feel much need to spread negativity because it's not as if there's a big fandom for it on here in the first place, so i try to just focus on those things i love about it! and one of those things is malina as a character! i love that she's smart, ambitious, curious, empathetic, knows what she wants and what she deserves and doesn't take shit from anyone, and at the same time has her flaws--mainly that she gets too perfectionist and too high-strung and needs someone to help her relax, which is where kuzco can be good for her. i find her to be a surprisingly well-rounded character, for a love interest from a 2000s disney channel cartoon, and i'm glad you're liking her too! if you ever want to share any other thoughts on the show i promise i won't take so long to answer next time LOL.

[fullmtal]

short hiatus notice / psa.

Putting under a cut !!!!!

Lily here. Been having a really really rough time. Barely communicating on discord so if you've noticed that among my friends, this is why and I'm very sorry. and frankly my mental health isn’t great at all. I feel very overwhelmed on my blog and I need to go on a break I think for my own sake, my health, dealing and grappling with some very tough situations, and to organize and just relax which I haven't...really done since I lost my grandmother less than a year ago. Since then things in life have really been a relentless snowballing of bad things for well, me, my family, friends, and I know among my loved ones I'm not the only one that needs a break.

It's only a break. Not a long one, but one that I don't feel bad taking so I can feel better and the situations and my life get better because I kinda feel like I'm drowning.

By no means am I ever leaving my blog, Edward means everything to me, but I need to clean it up, drop old drafts, clean followers etc and I’m not full of energy enough right now to do that so it's easier to navigate. I just need some time. A lot is going on and I feel guilty when I shouldn’t, but right now all the bad things going on in my life are completely distracting me from giving this icon the love he deserves in writing. I just need some time, it's really bad right now. 

I won’t be gone forever, just a lil while until my health / situations improve, but I need to take care of myself first. I hope you understand and I hope to see you all when I get back! 

Again, love Lily, take care of yourselves and hopefully I'll see you soon. If there is any activity on this blog it will be Edward content running on a queue, gifs, pictures, musings, etc from his sideblog. Sending you good vibes and well wishes like always.

I'll see you all as soon as it starts to look up, okay? Until then please take care. You all are so good to me so I really hope you take care of yourself too.

[le010n11]

It's been awhile since i went online here. I have missed y'all so much. Missed seeing football and random blogs on my dash. Missed watching PSG matches and hating on them every now and then. Missed the drama missed simping for Messi everyday ( i still simp for him and i don't think i would ever stop)

Missed reading all the fanfics y'all write, they always make my day. Missed seeing the edits and gifs and of course Kev's web weaving.

I really don't have much to say since i don't wanna talk about it and i don't wanna make the dash depressed, but I'm happy to be back, and i hope y'all were safe and alright these past weeks.

I wanna thank @kevjrr & @mebiselfandi for always asking about me, beautiful actions from them both make my heart warm and full of love they made me feel welcomed to be back. I'm so thankful to have friends like them really. Whatever i would say won't be enough for the both of you. Thank you so much for always asking about me and being here for me. i love you both so much even if we haven't talked since forever, i hope you both are safe and doing great.

Anyways! Glad be here & back.

[crystalitecloudie]

hello!!

welcome to my blog :]

i'm CrystaliteCloudie, although nowadays I usually go by lullabee. i'm 18, and I don't really post anything in particular, just whatever I feel like!

below the cut is a list of things that I like and may or may not post about, as well as some other notes!

video games

pokémon

kazutaka kodaka works (danganronpa, tribe nine, akudama drive, rain code, etc.)

wii series/classic wii/ds era games (i may also talk about homebrew, since my wii is homebrewed; my 3DS is not)

i'll also include mii games here ig (which are different from wii games, I'm talking like miitopia and stuff)

splatoon

persona (3-5, I tried 1 and 2 but couldn't get into them. haven't tried smt)

genshin impact + honkai star rail + ZZZ... sorta (see notes)

twisted wonderland

love and deepspace

the arcana

pjsekai(?) (see notes)

roblox (royale high, zaibatsu, wcue, vibe cafe)

animal crossing

a date with death

ikemen series

cookie run?? (see notes)

nintendogs

anime/manga

kingdom hearts (on the second game right now, going in release order dw)

infinity nikki

kodaka works also go here bc they have animes

cardcaptor sakura

mermaid melody pichi pitch

bungo stray dogs

mahou shoujo site

black butler

kakegurui

vivinos works (not really anime, but alien stage, pink bitch club, etc.)

studio ghibli (ponyo, my neighbor totoro, howls moving castle, secret world of arietty, spirited away)

bubble (the netflix anime movie, got mixed reviews but I literally sobbed at the end so)

JJK!!

toys

sanrio (specifically my melo, cinnamoroll, and wish me mell, also fragaria memories)

sylvanian families/calico critters

lps

care bears

mlp

build a bear

chinese 20cm cotton/plush dolls (they are my children and I love them)

other minor toys that I have some of, but I don't actively hoard (monster high, lol omg, rainbow high, bellzi, pillow pets, etc.). not giving them their own bullet points but PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THESE THINGS

other

I'm a therian and otherkin, guess I'll put that here

warrior cats :3

vtubers (was a nijisanji fan, but after all the drama I'm just kind of a straggler)

kpop (not deep in the trenches on that one though)

melanie martinez (not sure if I support her or not after all her scandals, but like the music)

notes

I honestly haven't played pjsekai, cookie run, or hoyoverse games in forever, but feel free to yap abt those in my ask box or something... I will listen dw

my asks are open, but please know I reserve the right to not answer it for whatever reason. I will not answer troll asks.

if you're interested in pokemon stuff, I do have a rotumblr/rotomblr/pokemon irl blog. @mahinabi

the gif before the cut is NOT mine, honestly don't remember where I got it from but thought it fit so

probably forgetting some things on here, so it'll be updated as I go (hopefully)

[whenyourlightdims]

I think the only people who follow me are the ones knowing me from my other blogs.

Except that this place is pretty much my void to shout my feelings, but I don't want to make anyones day sad, so I put it under the cut. Just keep scrolling.

I do think about leaving Tumblr. Like, not just a quick thought, I have been thinking that for a few weeks.

Tldr.: Blogs will probably be queue powered, and I only look occasionally in here to check if a mutual posted something cool or contacted me.

Before anything, it's nobodies fault, not the anons or open blogs that sidestabbed me out of the corner.

What drew me back here in the first place was the social aspect I had so many people to talk to! But within a month, many got burned out or had no time to anymore. Then those who still were there moved on to other fandoms. Of course, for something to be that long in everyones mind, Larian sure did a great job!

So yeah. I feel lonely. That's the gist of the whole post here.

The BG3 roleplay community is something I am not able to fit in. I really hoped, I really enjoyed it, I loved drawing little silly comics to what was written. That was what actually got me into drawing comics, and for that, I will be forever grateful. But yes, I really tried and kept successfully failing at it. So either it's my English (not native tongue, so my writing could be horrendous and I don't know it.) Or Ceres (and Tae) are just not someone that fits (everyone I approached) the general taste, which is... unlucky. I don't know. But it is me who is the problem, sadly I will never find out what it is.

In the end, it is nobody's fault. It's a me problem. I am not sure how to tackle it anymore.

Then there is the Galemancer community I adore. The tags and comments on my little switch-aroo Gale videos were genuinely wonderful. Addictive! I was laughing at them loudly and had to explain to my partner, which tags or comments it were this time that made me cackle. Outside of Tumblr, I barely found people who liked him, so it was a wind of fresh air! However, I am out of content for videos I could create, and there are better gif and screenshot makers out there for Gale content. I haven't seen anyone who has yet made the videos, but I am sure that will come too since his popularity is now rising!

But I did pretty much everything I could with the Content Larian gave us, and with me running out of it, the interactions there pretty much died down. I keep reblogging, of course! After all thats what my blog was created in the first place, for me to shout into a void how much I love the wizard, so Gale art, fics, and creations of all kinds are filled in my queue!

Now to the most depressing topic. Art. Well... Art is sadly a thing that never worked on me on any platform. For an artist to be fed the good chemicals, art needs to be seen, and to be seen, it needs to be reblogged or retweeted or whatever the term on each side is. I know my art is not good, nor will it be ever good enough to be considered worth sharing. For that, I am not creative enough.

I love my friends reaction to the art I draw, so I will keep drawing, but sharing it immediately on Tumblr? I don't really feel like it anymore. Especially since I gathered mostly Galemancer and Art that's not Gale or horny Gale related gets ignored. (It really hurts)

Again. Nobodys fault except mine. It was my little Dom!Gale who gave me most followers! They came for the smut I barely provided.

I did get a few Patreons, which is amazing. For someone with disability it made a huge impact, not money wise - of course the money is nice - but more about having people out there who say "your art is worth 3usd a month" does give you a really nice feeling. Like... I am allowed to exist: I am contributing to society. It's hard to explain, but maybe someone out there understands what I am talking about.

Anyway, on Bsky, I cultivated a very small following of people who genuinely follow me for my art and ideas, not for Gale exclusive things.

And yet, I am still here. I am writing this and feel really dumb why I am even writing it. It's clear Tumblr is not my space. Not that any social media ever was. But I guess Bsky is the thing that comes the closest for me.

So yeah. If I am suddenly stopping or the blogs die down. At least 5 followers here can check this blog if they remember, and find this post.

[feuqueerfire]

Never Let Me Go Ep 9 - 12 Live Blogging

Kinda funny that I binged the first 4 episodes, watched the next 4 episodes weekly, then am binging the last 4 episodes. Hopefully I didn't forget everything because I haven't watched the show in a month since ep 8.

I think this is teaching me that I like watching shows over 10-14 days after the show is done or reaching its end rather than watching weekly. I'll try to refrain from starting On-Air shows right now but who knows, might succumb to the desire once again.

Ep 9: Memories (Feb 27)

9-1

not the tattoo with Nueng's name gbye

shy Palm is cute. Nueng flustering him and teasing him and being lovey dovey

no I'm actually so ew about the tattoo lmfao

does Nuen really not feel weird or pressured by that tattoo

9-2

I don't like how Ben is with Chopper like it's not working for me because he seems too flippant while knowing Chopper's feelings

actually, the Ben and Chopper convo in the bathroom is fun about Ben saying he'll expose Chopper's dad but Chopper begging Ben

oof the emotional moment between Palm and his mom

damn Palm having to leave his mom where she died is so fucked

9-3

fight on the rocks from the trailers. it... idk I could probably form opinions if I thought about it but I don't really want to so my opinion on it is that: it happened

ah poor Palm thinking about his mom :< also mans killed 2 men, how's he dealing with that

9-4

(Fave) ah this drunk, dreamy slow dancing so good. it's so raw and aching and sad

this stupid goodbye letter from Nueng ah and he even left the bracelet, poor Palm

Ep 10: (Feb 27)

10-1

oh it makes sense that these are flashbacks because when I was seeing spoiler gifs of this, I was like I thought Nueng left in the last episode

ah this convo :< and them together in the bathtub :<

damn, Nueng really playing with his uncle with the "It's fine if I ruin the hotel. If somebody else ruins it, I won't let it slide"

ah Nueng crying while clutching Palm's shirt and thinking back to when they were playing around and sniffing each other

10-2

damn Nueng really came to school with all the bravado. being mad at Chopper (understandably for him. less understandably for Ben who idek what he's planning to do or what exactly he's expecting Chopper to do). Power over Phum

Nueng living half through flashbacks

10-3

this show has such good background noises or music sometimes (like some of the English songs but sometimes it's so Indian Serial

ah more conflict ensues between Chopper and his father

10-4

so Palm and Nueng are already at the same place again. will they reunite?

Palm watching over Nueng in an Edward-esque way is so funny lmfaooo

lol everybody including me was like uhhh why boyfriends only on the island, will this bring more drama but in the end, that part was resolved easily

ofc somebody (working for Uncle Kit I'm guessing) saw Palm and Nueng hugging and took pictures

Ep 11: You (Feb 28)

Ep 12 released and I think... people liked it?

11-1

I believe Palm can just tell Nueng Diao about being threatened and come up with a plan

11-2

I don't even care about Palm's dilemma of who to save or kill like i just don't care

Palm taunting Kit like that feels dumb

11-3

pls Palm's dad's realization of him ruining his wife's and son's life is so anticlimactic and making me feel nothing

the Chopper and Kit father-son dynamic is so much more insane and interesting comparatively

11-4

idk something about Palm and Nueng's relationship feels wonky. it doesn't focus enough on the relationship progression (the way Palm still calls him Khun Nueng is like hm) but there's enough focus on the relationship that it being in the middle of all the other events feels intrusive

It's ep 11 and nothing actually important happened this ep until possibly the end because everything kept getting resolved or something. but also idk how things keep getting resolved, what exactly are they planning to do about Kit?

Also Palm in this ep just kept smiling and nodding along to Nueng like wtf

Ep 12: Forever (Feb 28)

12-1

I just think it's so funny that fucked up murderer with no morals Kit is like "why the fuck are you guys pointing your guns at my son?!" to his bodyguards after said son shot him in the leg while Palm's father is such a piece of shit spineless buffoon that he'd rather Palm jump in front of bullets to protect Nueng Diao

and then Chopper got to have a more dramatic crying scene with his father who got shot in the arm by the police than Palm got to have with his mom

12-2

I wish this cousin Chopper and Nueng relationship was better present through the show and more developed oof Yang and Tian are the peak in that sort of relationship

pls this Ben/Chopper scene is so... okay alright

I guess the police have to do something with Kit now since he was caught redhanded whereas before he was brining the cops and also there wasn't evidence

I got spoiled about Palm's leg before watching

12-3

Ben is so not funny. Ben and Chopper are so irritating to me personally

please not Palm decide to leave this time with a note

12-4

damn 3 months later

pls the bar's name is straight up Nueng Diao so funny

at least they finally addressed the Khun Nueng my goodness

I actually don't care about the plot of this show that much because I was mostly there for the characters and character relationships but it didn't give me what I wanted. I don't like Ben/Chopper and Nueng/Palm felt meh toward the end and also didn't give me whatI wanted really.

My big problem with this show which is that nothing feels like it gets enough emotion or gravity and instead it's either fixed quickly or we move on quickly

Anyway, idk. I liked the first 2/3 of the series even though it wasn't A Fave but it had some great moments and lots of potentials to me. I stopped caring about the characters while watching these last 4 and these last 2 episodes were just so... agh.

I just care about Chopper atp and want better for him.

This was one of my most anticipated shows of 2022 (which is why I started watching it weekly), so it's sad that it turned out this way.

Rating: 6.5/10

Tiktoks

[Fave] mock trailer (bg:  if the whole world was watching i’d still dance with you)

[Fave] Mock and Official Trailer: Phuwin with Chimon (and I feel perfectly fine...) vs Pond (but i miss screaming and crying) (bg: That’s The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift)

Ep 2 Neung wants to watch Palm swim

Ep 4 Neung drinking and getting mad 

Ep 4 + 5 preview Nueng being outed

Ep 4 Neung drinking and being jealous (bg: It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to)

Ep 4 times Palm called Khun Nu/Neung vs Neung

Ep 5 Ben is outed

Ep 4 Palm fixing hair in a babygirl way (bg: sin city wasn’t made for you)

Ep 7 Palm wishing for his mom dad and Nueng to be safe vs them in crisis next ep

Ep 6 attractive Nueng in the beach as he lays down with Palm and his pink shirt 

Ep 7 romance

[28confusedthoughts]

hi, here are some stuff about me and my blog :)

○ bogi, 21. pronouns are she/they (but i'm not fussy, use whatever you like)

○ i love intellectual discussions. if you're smart i'm probably a little bit in love with you

○ i'm queer, probably pansexual but yk. sexuality is fluid

○ i'm friendly but socially awkward (and have social anxiety yayy). chances are if i reblog your stuff all the time i'd like to be friends <3

○ this is my side blog, I follow with main (bogissunflower)

○ love to receive asks (makes me feel included) so come chat! sometimes i take longer to answer though, sorry!

○ i crochet! (in case someone wants to chat about crafty stuff <33)

○ i mainly post/reblog spn stuff. my other posts are usually (not always) tagged personal or not spn

○ i have lot's of opinions on spn. i like to share them sometimes. thing is, it's been years since i last watched the show and i still haven't finished s15 (it's just hard for me ok). i still share my thoughts though bc i can't stfu. feel free to fact check me (nicely!) on my rewatch (s4 atm (ouch)).

○ sam defender always and forever (i will fight you so be nice. you've been warned). dean critical (=i watched the actual show)

○ i enjoy wincest and headcanon weirdcest. i very rarely like weecest and don't ship any other ship.

so far that's it. if i think of anything else i'll edit it later. farewell ♡

○ not a tinhat but i ship j2 sometimes. i occasionally reblog tinhat posts for the gifs/j2 lore. i tag them j2 tinhat?

[diaryofawhimsicalmaniac]

My return

I've been on Tumblr during its peak in the 2010's. As a sophomore in high school, I spent countless of hours scrolling thru tags for anime, photography and the incredible art that people created for their favorite Fandoms. Supernatural, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Marvel was just some of the popular Fandoms that flooded my feed. Supernatural was my ride or die, and the fandom really did have a GIF for everything. Crossovers such as SuperWhoLock, were a big hit and I loved the creative fanfics that people created by using gifs from shows and inserting their own captions. My friends really polished their Photoshop skills by creating their edits and running their popular crack ship pages. Witness the endless shipping wars and the extreme measures people would go thru to defend their beloved show. Honestly it was terrifying and cringy...but damn what a moment to witness the cluster fuck of people on this site.

One the other side of Tumblr was dedicated to fashion and music. Of course, the fashion was at its peak with galaxy prints and inverted crosses on everything pastel. Glad to say I've never owned any of those prints. But I can't be too prideful because I did own a flower crown that was of course popularized by the infamous Lana Del Rey. I've indulged in the grunge indie revival and faithfully wore a denim jacket and studied vests to every college class. I took much inspiration from the plus size alternative fashionistas and just marveled at their style. I believe I even have a folder of those babes somewhere on an old hard drive...icons of the past that I'm not even sure are active on this site anymore...I even haven't been active on this account in close to 6 years.

This isn't even my original blog. I had accidently deleted my blog sometime in 2016 (maybe a little earlier). I had a couple of other blogs saved and was trying to delete those that I didn't use. You know the ones that I just used to save a cool username idea or potential photography blog that would maybe get attention....ended deleting eerything including my original blog.

It was a sad day. I lost of archive of photography ideas, movies, music and character art collective. A piece of my teenage years that documented my interests and passions. Resources that I tagged in means to go back to educate myself about feminist issues and political matters. Gotta say that I learned more from Tumblr about Life and activism than i ever have in real life at that time. I will forever remember about Mike Brown, will never forget that poor boy. May he and countless of others rest in peace.

As much as I learned about important issues, I learned about the guilt that comes with not speaking about issues. Even if it was issues that you cared about, if you didn't reblog the same post that everyone had on their page...it showed that you simply didn't care enough to hit that reblog button. There's an animated video that perfectly explains the dilemma of this site.

Regardless of the negativity I would come across, I found my time on this place enjoyable...and I want to do more with this page since shortly after creating this new account, I abandoned it. I want to use this page to document my adult life. An online diary of some sort...I feel a lot of people use their social media as way to express themselves however I never used my accounts to really express feelings, to be vulnerable with my emotions and simply post them. Didn't like the idea that strangers could witness my emotions.

I'm older now...my 30's are right around the corner for me and I want to return to the things that brought me joy from when I was younger. To remind me of a different time of my life and the world were at a different stage than it is now. I want to do what my younger self couldn't do.

I welcome my own Return

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

i’m like a week and a half late for new years day, but i’m suddenly feeling like changing the look of my blog around. new year, new blog. same blog, new blog look. same great (music) taste. (this is giving me deja vu, did i say this once before?)

i’ll start by making things more band-neutral now that i’m going back to posting lots of different bands and then maybe i’ll change some small things here and there in the future. 

[braceletofteeth]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @kissporsche 💕💕 which made me really happy because a few months ago they initiated a conversation with me and I was too much of an introvert to keep it going, so I had thought then that I had lost my chance at friendship forever 🥲

Three Ships

The (un)holy trinity: Hannigram (from Hannibal), Jongmoon (from Strangers From Hell) and VegasPete (from KinnPorsche).

First Ever Ship

It's hard to pinpoint the exact pair... Hmm... I'll tell you about the first one I remember being obsessed about, as in reading all the fics available about them-obsessed. I was eleven? Twelve? Anyway. That would be Cato and Clove, from The Hunger Games. They were not canon in the book (or the movie! They were done SO dirty in the movie!!! I CAN'T EVEN FIND A GIF OF THEM TOGETHER TO INCLUDE HERE 😤), there were just one (or two?) moments that could be interpreted like that, if you had a wild imagination 😅 Fortunately, at that time, me, and a bunch of other kids who enjoyed the tragedy of it all, read too much into it.

So, while everyone else was discussing the love triangle of the main characters or shipping themselves with Finnick Odair, we were in a dark corner crying and throwing up because of two kids who were raised to become killing machines—the star-crossed lovers from District 2, as we liked to call them.

Last Song

Keep Asking Me, by Francis Well. It has a feeling similar to Little House On The Hill, so I think of them as sisters.

Last Movie

Cherry Magic: The Movie. I had already forgotten the gifsets I had seen about it, months ago, so everything was a surprise.

[spoiler alert] My favorites scenes were the ones of Adachi and Kurosawa meeting each other's families, even though it seemed like my heart was going to jump out of my chest in both occasions 😀

Currently Reading

Making my way through the PrapaiSky tag on AO3 (meaning I'm reading literally anything and everything that sounds slightly interesting).

Currently Watching

1. GAP. I haven't watched the most recent episode yet, but it seems we're reaching the climax of the story. I'm already dreading the moment I'll have to let go of all my girls (+ Mon's step-father) :(

2. Star & Sky Series. I've finished Star in My Mind, and I'll start Sky in Your Heart (which is the part two? the spin-off?) soon (allegedly. Never trust a 'soon' coming from me).

3. TharnType. Only a few more episodes to go. Absolutely bonkers show.

4. Summer Strike. The healing type that I had been saving for when I needed it most.

5. Beyond Evil. I had been saying for a long time that I was going to rewatch BE, but never got around to do it (16 episodes! Who has the time!!). My brother was browsing Netflix looking for something for us to watch together, and suggested BE. I thought he was joking (he has already rewatched it 5 or 6 times by himself 🙃), so I agreed, also joking. Turns out, he wasn't joking 😀😀 So now we're watching it again (*in my first time, I watched it with him as well). It's been a really different experience, watching it from the perspective of someone who knows what they should be paying attention to (I wish I had forgotten the details so I could enjoy the unpredictable mystery again, but it seems I still remember most of it 😅) .

Currently Consuming

Crackers.

Currently Craving

Eight (or more) hours of sleep. No waking up because of freezing temperatures, bad dreams, or the men working on a new floor for my neighbour's house in the early hours of the morning.

... I haven't had one of those in a while 😞

Tagging

Since it's people I'd like to get to know better, I'll tag the blogs I started following more recently: @saturnskyline @leporschespam @ronandhermy @teakrush @stillqueerstillhere (it's absolutely okay to ignore this, though 😊✌)

**If there aren't 9 it's because I'm bad at math.

[painsandconfusion]

Anon Ask Lineup!!

I got SO many gorgeous lurker confirmation asks, and wow I love you guys so much. You're way too sweet to me. Ahhhhhhh.

That being said, a lot of you had questions and I said I wouldn't rb those asks, but there were several overlapping ones anyway, so I'm just going to make one biiiiiiiggggggg post answering questions here!

.

How long did I lurk? Six years or so? Longer? I knew I loved whump since I was a little tiny kiddo, but didn't know there was a word for it (I feel like this is a common experience lol), and started following hero x villain things (also a common experience) that eventually lead me to the whump community. I didn't make this blog (well, the same url - it used to be a sideblog and it moved but I'm counting it) about two years ago? But I only started making my own content one year ago.

Have I ever regretted making my blog instead of lurking? Since I started this one? No. But there was a time before where I made a side blog (same url) and started making some whumpy gif sets? And I loved it and was having a nice time with no one knowing or following me, but it was immediately picked up by the kink community instead of this one. While I don't have any problem with that, I felt like I wasn't in the right place and that no one was really listening and I was getting sucked in the wrong direction, so I panicked and deleted the blog. Cut lurking again for two years before making this one.

Was I ever ashamed of whump? Um. Yes. Still kind of am (I'm working on it), but I grew up in a very religious household, and I'm an extremely kind and gentle person irl, so it felt like this horrific denial both of my faith and of myself. I read a post a year and a half ago or so that clarified the difference between fiction and reality for whump, and something about it just made the pieces fit together again for me. It wasn't long after that that I got started making my own content.

How I moved from being a reblogger to a creator? There was one prompt list (here) that I just fell in love with and had a few ideas to continue? So I did. And it got SO many more notes than I expected and I just........fell in love with it? I found I have a knack for prompt lists - much more than gif sets. So I started making prompt lists. They got popular pretty quick. Then I was challenged to do Whumptober, and I did. After that, I felt comfortable starting my own series and doing drabbles and I haven't looked back.

How many irl people know about whump/my blog? Four who I didn't meet through this. I've told three friends and my sister - all of whom took it FAR more gracefully than I expected. While whump isn't their thing, they're incredibly supportive and generally confused why I'm so embarrassed about it. Oops-

Is my whump fixation purely whump, kink, or both? Uhmmmmmmmm....I like whump. I like whump in any context. That bleeds into kink as well. I don't post NSFW things here because a lot of my readers are minors and I genuinely don't trust the tagging system to keep their sweet lovely eyes off the abominations I create asdlkf. But if I'm in an 18+ area where people are chatting, I'm more than willing to discuss it or put out ideas/content. I'm getting more comfortable with it by the day (everyone has hurtles to get over in self-acceptance - that's one of mine).

Do I use whump as an outlet for something else? I know a lot of people have turned to whump to process trauma, but that's not my story. I have loved it since forever, and my ptsd isn't something I ever want to encounter in whump. I have those tags blocked so fucking hard, I don't want to be triggered in my safe space (that's just me - everyone processes differently). But. I do find that it greatly eases my anxiety and nightmares. If I go a week or two without writing or consuming something terrifying, my anxiety doesn't really have an outlet? And it bleeds into dreams. I often have very whumpy dreams, but I don't consider them nightmares, they're just lovely. But the nightmares? Nope. Nuh-uh. Don't want. It's a very small part of why I write, but it's a lovely bonus.

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Whelp I think that's all of them?? Shoot me another ask if I missed one - it wasn't intentions.

Love you all so so much - I'm glad you reached out!

General disclaimer: all these are my own expeiance and do not speak to or dictate in any way how others interact with this community or their pasts - everyone's journey is their own, this one is just mine.