#i feel crazy skoaoskaoksas

[lover-of-mine]

I guess I overthink the pattern of the use of different colors with Buck now and I NEED to talk about the use of the orange range of the color wheel in his wardrobe.

Because like, it's the therapy color, is the color he's wearing when we find out he's seeing Dr. Copeland (on 4x02). (Go back to therapy Buck)

But looking for all the colors he wears, I noticed he's wearing a darker shade of it when he first talks to Mackey which is the thing that starts the lawsuit which is interesting when you look at the way Buck's loneliness makes him do stupid shit and yes, the lawsuit happens before the therapy, but the therapy session is literally where he talks about hiding "his true feelings" so the use of the same color he's wearing here is interesting (on 3x04)

Because he turns loneliness into resentment leading to the whole mess with the lawsuit and it all starts in fucking burnt orange. And it's also the color he's wearing in the situation that ends the lawsuit mess, so nice little full-circle moment where he thinks he's not enough without the uniform but saves 2 people without it (on 3x06).

But what are other moments baby boy is in this color?

When he's at madney's apartment stress baby proofing it before he tells Maddie about the therapy but is also very vague about why he needs therapy. And also when he tells Maddie about how she called him sad and lonely and how he's fine but just wants to be "finer" which, you know, doesn't really feel like he's being completely honest. (on 4x03)

Also when he finds out about Daniel and we all know he represses the shit out of that information. And the thing about the scene where he finds out about him is that he's making light of what Maddie's baby box means to him then he gets hit in the face with a 30-year-long lie and he just walks away (on 4x04 and 4x05).

Also when he's lying to Chim about not knowing about why Maddie left. A lighter more yellow shade, but still in the same range.

And outside the family drama, we have the first time we see him and Taylor in what could be interpreted as a date. They're grabbing lunch, no hookups in the bathroom or leaving him with his pants down in a parking lot, just them talking, hanging out. Buck is talking around his point because he needs something from Taylor, I wouldn't say he's hiding true feelings here unless we want to discuss how soon after we see them reconnect, Buck decided he wanted more with her and the hiding thing is him saying she's just a friend, but it's a possibility (on 4x11)

But it is interesting when you pair that with the fact that he was also wearing that color on his first date with Natalia because if we want to talk about Buck hiding his true feelings, that boy being all bashful about his death is definitely high up on the list (on 6x15).

And the second date too, where he's all this is the real Evan Buckley but we can hear the narrator's voice going "this was not the real Evan Buckley" (rip math powers :/) (on 6x17)

He's also wearing it after the blackout when he lets Eddie walk away after he pretty much told him to break up with Ana and Eddie tells him he's doing it and when we see him alone in the loft after (on 5x03).

This particular interpretation of this particular chain of events can absolutely be called a stretch, but, how excited Buck looks asking Eddie if Chris already knows he's going home and the way he walks into the loft looking defeated and the way he says "hey honey I'm home" to the ceiling can absolutely be seen as "this is not the home I want to be in" considering the way Buck is bad with being alone, he just spent 5 days at the station with most of the people he loves and the first thing he does when he notices Eddie in the locker room is to ask about Chris, maybe he was waiting for an invitation from Eddie? Feels plausible to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

He's also wearing it when Taylor kisses him and consequentially when he goes to see Eddie after he wakes up. Because when he's talking to Taylor he's making light of the way he went up that crane and when he's talking to Eddie he's severely downplaying how affected he is about the situation so Eddie won't worry about him (all of the below are on 4x14).

And there's the major I'm hiding how I'm truly feeling moment that he's wearing this color, because he's wearing it during the will reveal.

Because let's be real, Buck is not saying anything about how he's really feeling in this scene, Eddie completely shifts his worldview in 5 minutes but he doesn't say it. He just accepts it.

And that leading to him standing by the door, not going in, watching Eddie and Christopher? Come on.

(Side note, he's wearing this burnt orange/ochre color in every major conversation he has in this episode, except for when he's talking to Carla about how it's all affecting Chris, where he's wearing grey, and when Taylor comes back and they get together, where he's wearing black, so neutral colors in a sense, there's also the uniform but the uniform doesn't count, I think the uniform counts as neutral, except for when he's telling Christopher about what happened when he's wearing red and honestly, I think it's the only bit of the episode that he's being honest about how he feels about the situation which is interesting with the use of color with him)

I'm gonna tell you it's also the color of the couch his mother picked for no reason really I just noticed and felt like sharing lol

I can't think of any other uses of this color so I think this is all for now.