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misaverawrites · 2 years ago

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What If You Kissed Me? (Steve Rogers x Reader)

summary: You were placed in charge of Bucky's rehabilitative care after coming back from Wakanda, you and Steve get to know each other pretty well.

tags: mentions of rehabilitation, mentions of winter soldier!bucky, minor spoilers for up until avengers: infinity war, kind of in a fucky spot in the timeline lol don't look too closely lol, Steve saves you on a mission, kissing, she/her pronouns, description of a knife, steve knocks this lady out, non-graphic descriptions of violence.

a/n: y’all i am down bad, i started rewatching marvel movies from when i was a kid (phase 1/2) and f u c k i love them lol

There wasn't much of a reason for you to form connections in your life, it just slowed you down. That's what you'd believed as you made your way from college to the C.I.A to S.H.I.E.L.D. You'd been recruited into one of the most secret government agencies in the world and that was enough for you. Until they put you on his case.

"James Buchanan Barnes, birthdate March 10, 1917," Director Fury and you stood in an elevator, he read aloud all you needed to know, "Former assassin for Hydra, now currently works as a supersoldier for us. You will keep a close eye on him and work with him on rehabilitation. You will also have to deal with Captain Rogers and Sam Wilson, who hang around despite the fact that I damn well tell them not too." You silently nod, taking the file from the Director's hand. This was something you weren't prepared for, one of your first assignments ever being the rehabilitation of one of the most wanted men in the world, who is also an Avenger, as well as deal with his Avenger friends. You shake off the nerves as you thumb through the file once more, feeling the director's gaze on you. You look up and wait anxiously for the elevator to stop, when it does you suddenly feel hot and your stomach feels like a deep pit, you have to do this. The elevator doors open and Fury hands you a new identification card with a new clearance level that quickly sets you at ease. It read to you clear as day, Clearance Level 7 Agent. You smile softly at the new badge, pinning it onto your breast as you follow after Fury. He enters an area you'd barely even known existed as he stops in front of a room, escorting you inside.

"Sergeant Barnes, I assume your time in Wakanda served you well?" Fury says, James, nodding in turn, staying quiet. Fury looks at you and back at the Sergeant, before leaving the both of you alone. You offer a polite smile at him, not knowing what to say at this moment. "Sergeant Barnes-." You try to begin but Bucky raises his hand at you, "Call me James, please." You nod, pleased that you and he could have this level of mutual awkwardness with one another. "Welcome back from Wakanda, James." He nods as you decide to sit down with him, "So, has anything happened in your life lately?" He sits in silence, possibly deciding what he trusts you enough to tell you right now. "I found a little grocery store, near my new place. Sam's been making me try new stuff, turns out we didn't cook very well in the 40s." He jokes, causing you to laugh, "What food have you liked the most now?" He exhales a bit and sits up, "Well, everything feels overwhelmingly spicy, you know? Hydra well... they fed me what I basically ate in the army or they didn't feed me at all... I just really enjoy having the choice, even if the choice is in my face and everything." You nod a bit, listening to him talk about anything... Wakanda, his life before as he calls it, all the changes in his life, you can't help but find it all terribly interesting. You feel entranced by the things he's telling you about his adventures during the War, something you'd only ever learned about in textbooks with black and white photos and mild interest and now it was here in front of you. Until you hear a knock on the door.

"Hey, Buck... Oh- sorry." You turn around at the knock, only to see him. Steve Rogers, Captain America as he is more well known. You smile politely and stand, "You're fine, Captain, James and I were just finishing up and then I'll be out of your way." He shakes his head and the smile he gives you makes you want to faint. He was something out of a dream, he holds out his hand to shake yours, a gesture you meet. His hands are firm and large, practically dwarfing the size of your own. “You’re alright,” He says, “Do whatever you need to do.” He offers you that smile again; causing your stomach to turn over, and it makes you want to pass out in terror. This is stupid and you know it. Having a crush on Captain America, a living legend and Avenger, who is also the best friend of your rehabilitation charge, these feelings are new to you but you decide to shake them off. You were still a professional adult woman.

You continue working around the two men, watching them talk about whatever, and you can't help but steal a glance at the Captain every now and again. He's so much more different than anything you'd seen out on the news, he's human.

That's why, when you are tasked to go on a mission with him, Bucky, Sam, and Natasha, you can't help but feel nervous or even a bit useless. Two super-soldiers, a woman who was bred and raised to become a spy, a soldier who was damn good at his secret task, and you, a normal young woman who was just able to become a SHIELD agent and get placed somewhere as lucky as with Bucky being your "charge." You sigh as you pull on a bit of protective gear, turning to see Steve, who suddenly pulled his eyes away, he wasn't staring at me, you reason with yourself. "It's your first field mission like this, yeah?" He asks you as you nod nervously, it was scary enough being on a mission like this, but admitting it to someone like Steve Rogers? Terrifying. It was supposedly easy, but, with a squad like this. You knew Fury was lying out of his ass. In an abandoned warehouse that held SHIELD and Hydra secrets, you were all tasked to do a full sweep, make sure whatever rats are lying low, go down, and grab those secrets.

"Alright, well stay with Bucky and you'll be alright, I know you can handle yourself though." He gives you that smile, again and it makes you want to melt. "How do you know I can handle myself, we've never even gone on a mission." He gives a shrug and a smile, "Some people just... have a way that you can tell. You're one of them." You feel warmth on your skin and watch as the look in his eyes scream admiration. The helicraft carrying the five of you slows and the door slides open, allowing Sam to move past you two, not before shooting a look over to Steve, and dropping out, his wings carrying him over the warehouse for any recon needed on this mission. There's only a bit of time left and you exhale, trying to dispel even an ounce of the nerves bouncing around in your stomach. Steve places his hand on your shoulder, as the door opens once again, allowing you all to parachute out of the helicraft. "(Y/N), Buck, take the left side, try to minimize casualties for now. Natasha and I will take the right side, keep your comms on." He then walks off with Natasha and you go off with Bucky.

"You need to make your move." You hear Bucky from behind you, causing you to turn and face him, "What do you mean?" Bucky rolls his eyes, "I mean Steve. He likes you, you like him. Seriously, you two... Wait." There's a quiet beeping, it pulls you both from your conversation, Bucky goes after it, leaving you alone. You stay on guard but the worry overtakes you until you feel the blade of a knife, sharp and shiny, pressed against your neck.

"Shit." You whisper as you feel a woman holding you now, "I've been compromised." You whisper, trying to make it sound more like a statement than a warning call over comms. "Now, what is a normal SHIELD puppy like you doing here?" The woman asks, you simply stay quiet, maybe I can catch her leg and flip her? You think to yourself. That is until you feel yourself pushed forward onto the ground, you crawl trying to get away from her until you turn back to see Steve, covering her mouth and knocking her out with the front, more blunt side of his shield.

You slowly begin to stand up that is until he takes you into his arms, weaving his hands into your hair, "You scared me…” He breathes into your hair, holding you to his chest. “I heard you and Bucky and then Bucky said something about a trap and I-.” You pull away from him, “You heard me and Bucky?” He simply nods, and you feel a bit embarrassed, he knows about your stupid, massive crush on him. “I haven’t been in love since 1945, but, I know it when I feel it. That’s why I’m telling you, I have feelings for you and I’m so happy you feel the same.” This doesn’t feel real in the slightest, but as far as you are aware, this is the happiest moment in your life.

Steve presses his lips to yours in a kiss that makes your heart skip a beat, his hands threading through your hair and land on your hips, you’ve imagined how his lips felt and in reality? They’re better. You only pull away once you hear Sam clear his throat on the comms, reminding the both of you that you’re on a mission.

“Hey you crazy kids,” You hear Bucky snark at the two of you over comms, “Wait until after the mission?” You roll your eyes but pull away from Steve, not before kissing him one more time on the cheek. "Let's get coffee after the mission?" He asks you and you give him a wide smile and nod, "Of course, Steve." The use of his real name makes him smile at you as he wraps his hand around yours as the two of you continue on with the mission to come.

#steve rodgers x reader #mcu fandom #mcu fluff #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america x female reader #captain america x you #steve rogers x female reader #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel #marvel fanfiction #x reader #fanfiction #fanfic

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chilligyu · 3 years ago

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info: lee jihoon/gender neutral reader, pg, best friends to lovers au genre: fluff, romance | word ct: 5.5k warnings: none summary: when it came to love, no one was prepared. not even jihoon, who could spend hours turning words into magic, especially when love was mysteriously delivered in the form of a letter to his locker. note: heavily inspired by to all the boys I've loved before, but with a twist! no love triangles or anything like that, so just enjoy awkward people falling in love! and thank you to @dreamystuffers and @starlightjoong for taking a sneak peek and telling me what you think!

tagging: @xfirebenderx, @moriiyun, @ohmygoshcheese, @gyu-log

Lee Jihoon, a genius in many ways, was never good when it came to words. At least, not the spoken kind. The kind that you had to think up on the spot, responses, answers, comebacks, small talk, he was absolutely terrible at it. But if you gave him the time to think, to really dwell on his thoughts, he could create something truly beautiful. Which was why he preferred to express his feelings with letters. And while, yes, he could pen something magnificent, the next great classic novel perhaps, he typically kept his messages short and to the point. Much like the man himself.

There was one time that he wrote a “letter” that was simply—

F U C K Y O U

—printed out on seven separate sheets of paper and taped to a row of lockers. All in response to a teacher confiscating his iPod. No one could prove it was him, though, and nothing happened in response to it. He never admitted to his crimes, and despite it being painfully obvious who the author of the message was, there was no hard proof pointing to the culprit. It became the most well-known secret at their high school. And Lee Jihoon became somewhat of a living legend because of it.

The only one who knew the truth was you. His best friend. You were his go-to when it came to proof reading all of his letters. He was the writer, you were the editor. Half the time you were also a berating parent, chastising him for trying to assault people with words. Which was also why, more often than not, his letters never got sent. He would sit in his room for hours, writing letters that were either half the length of novels or only a few sentences long, and after giving it over to be edited, it would get tucked away in his desk drawer. Never to be seen or heard from again.

See, Jihoon was an emotional person. Not in the sense that most people would assume, he didn’t get offended easily, one mean comment wouldn’t leave him crying, he was simply—emotional. Whatever he was feeling, whether it be good or bad, it was powerful, sometimes overwhelming. So instead of erupting like a hormonal volcano, which he had already done plenty of, he put his emotions to paper. At the behest of his aforementioned best friend.

“You can’t go around yelling at people.” You began one afternoon just after entering high school. “Even if you’re writing it down, you’re still yelling at people.”

Jihoon, the definition of “hard to read”, was visibly pouting. “You’re the one who told me to write down how I feel. Now I can’t even send these to anyone?”

“I mean, you can.” You backpedalled. “I’m not your mother, despite Seokmin’s insistence. I can’t stop you from doing anything you’ve set your heart to. All I can do is advise you not to because you’re going to have a terrible few years here if everyone hates you.”

He clearly wasn’t thrilled by your logical response, but he admitted defeat anyway. “Fine. Don’t send the letters that I write. I get it. No one wants to read them.”

You groaned loudly. “You are so dramatic. I’m saying don’t send the literal hate mail to people. Don’t send the stuff you write to vent out your feelings. But if there’s something you want to say to someone, something that you can’t bring yourself to say out loud, by all means! Send the thing! I know you loathe the idea of talking to people, you also hate being misunderstood more.”

He also hated how well you knew him, not that he would ever say that out loud.

That was also something he wrote down in a letter, one he decided to send.

You crumpled it up immediately and threw it back at his face.

“Letters are powerful things, Jihoon.” You added. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives with nothing more than words. Because words mean so many different things to so many different people. You just gotta say the right ones.”

At first, he was only humoring you. Honestly, he thought you completely senile until he gave it a shot. After spending hours hunched over his desk writing things no one else would see, he was starting to realize that maybe you had a point. Instead of roaming the halls shouting obscenities in his head, he was able to reassure himself by knowing he could write about it later. Even the smallest grievance, he would write it down. He would sometimes scribble it down on the margin of a textbook if he was feeling particularly overwhelmed in the middle of the day.

The letters became his therapy, his outlet, eventually he could stroll past some annoying upperclassmen and not feel rage coursing through his veins. It was—nice, almost. Not being subjected to his own hectic imagination at every turn. Feeling at peace for the first time in what felt like ages.

Until he found a letter in his locker, one addressed to him during his senior year. From a secret admirer. The contents of which would be seared into his memory for the remainder of time.

Lee Jihoon, it began.

I have never been able to tell you how I feel, in person or in a letter. For several months now, I’ve tried. I’ve tried to write letters like you for so long, and I just can’t get the words right. I don’t know how you do it. So I’m going to do something different. I’m going to stop being scared. If you meet me in the courtyard after school, I’m going to be brave for the first time in my life. Please help me be brave, Jihoon.

Again and again, he read that short letter. Practically baffled that someone out there wrote an honest-to-god letter that was addressed to an honest-to-god person. And that he wasn’t the writer, that he was the recipient. The thought alone made his heart race, and to comprehend that this secret admirer perhaps harbored feelings towards him? It was next to impossible. But no one writes a letter without true emotion behind it. That’s a fact he was coming to understand.

“I need you to come with me.” He told you after showing you the letter. “I’m—I’m not sure I can do this alone.”

You rolled your eyes. “Jihoon, obviously this person doesn’t want to make a public event out of their confession. You should really do this without me.”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to stand at my side or anything.” He reiterated. “Can you like—stand in a bush or something? If I know that you’re there I won’t feel the need to—"

“Did you just ask me to stand in a bush?” You guffawed. “You did not just ask me to stand in a bush Lee Jihoon because if you did then you’re about to get your ass kicked into next year!”

“I didn’t mean literally!” He quickly denied when he did, in fact, mean it literally. “Just—stand around the corner, okay? Be my moral support!”

Pursing your lips, you knew that there was no getting out of this. “Alright, fine. I’ll come with you. But I’m not happy about it.”

“I’ll pay you back, I promise.” He swore. “Have I ever told you that you’re the best?”

A smirk teased at your lips. “You could mention it more.”

“Consider it done.” Jihoon grinned, gathering up his things and heading for the door. “Don’t forget! After school! Courtyard! Don’t be late!”

Once he was gone and you were completely alone, your face fell in disappointment. “I wouldn’t dream of it…”

By the time that school was finally over for the day, Jihoon was a bundle of overactive nerves. He was excited and terrified and anxious and nauseous all at once. The bombarding sensations kept him cemented in place, gripping the edge of his desk until his knuckles were about to burst through. He had been like that for the entirety of their last class, still as a statue as a cold sweat broke out across his brow. You were standing in front of him, head tilted and wondering what he was planning to do next.

“Class is over.” You reminded him. “Everyone’s left.”

Very slowly, he nodded. “Y-yeah. I can see that.”

His voice sounded as if it had been completely stripped down. Like he had screamed himself hoarse by saying those few words.

“Your secret admirer is probably waiting.” You tried to spur him. “We should get going before I change my mind and head home.”

He audibly swallowed past a lump in his throat. “Well—maybe that’s best. Yeah, I can wait until tomorrow.”

You eyed him incredulously. “You’re going to stay here until tomorrow. You’re insane, get up.”

“I’d rather not.”

“And I’d rather not grow old and die here.” You countered. “C’mon, Jihoon. Your admirer asked you to help them be brave, how exactly is this helping them?”

He had to admit, you had a point. If they were brave enough to put their feelings out there, he had to at least meet them half way.

Sighing loudly, he started to pry his fingers off his desk. “Alright, fine. We’ll do things your way.”

You rolled your eyes for perhaps the hundredth time. “You’re absolutely insufferable. Why do I hang out with you?”

“Because I’m funny.” He said with the most serious face in the world.

Which actually made you laugh.

“I hate you.” You chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get going while we’re still young.”

Jihoon inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm himself down.

This is just the beginning.

Except—it wasn’t.

He stood in the courtyard, seemingly alone, with the note that brought him there clutched tight in his hand. As his moral support you were keeping your distance, as promised, but no one else joined you. Minutes passed and he did his best to remain hopeful. It was hard, especially when a familiar voice nagged at the back of his mind. The same one he struggled with every day to ignore.

No one would ever like you, so why did you bother thinking otherwise?

While the negative thoughts slowly took over, Jihoon didn’t know what to do next. He was defeated, almost destroyed. And even though you walked up behind him and took his hand in yours, it did little to stop the bitter tears from welling in his eyes.

“I should’ve known…” He whispered angrily. “This was all just—a joke. It’s always a joke. Who could ever like me?”

“Stop it, Jihoon.” You hissed at him, squeezing his hand tighter. “They said they were scared, maybe they couldn’t follow through with it. Maybe they were afraid of being rejected. You never know what’s going through someone’s head. Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”

Nothing you said was going to make him feel better. He quickly wrenched himself from your grip and backed away from you.

“I’m going home.” He clipped. “Bye.”

Before he left, he made sure to crumple up the note and toss it at your feet. When his heart was broken, he wore it on his sleeve. You understood what Jihoon was feeling, he had been living with an extremely low self esteem due to his height and his general inability to make friends for as long as you knew him. He was quiet, shy, reserved, he was slow to open up to others and hesitant to trust. That’s why you tried to be excited for him, and now that things hadn’t gone as planned in more ways than one your heart ached just like his.

The next day, Jihoon strolled into class like a drunk zombie. By the looks of him, he hadn’t slept a wink. Too busy being destroyed by his own thoughts to bother with anything like sustenance or sleep. He took up his seat beside you, and you immediately shoved your desk into his.

“Still upset?” You asked, even though you already knew the answer.

Sluggishly he lifted his head up and then quickly dropped it back down.

It was worse than you thought.

“Are you going to talk to me today?” You teased in an attempt to get a reaction. “Or am I going to have to go bother Hansol?”

Grumbling slightly, the barely responsive mass that was your best friend raised his hand and dropped a crumpled wad of paper on your desk. At first, you assumed it was just another one of his letters. They weren’t uncommon when he was feeling—unwell.

But it was another note from his secret admirer.

You were startled because he didn’t usually stop at his locker in the morning.

Lee Jihoon, it started similarly.

I’m sorry for not showing up yesterday, I was scared. I couldn’t bring myself to face you, please don’t be mad at me. I’d like to keep writing you letters, if that’s okay. Let’s get to know each other and maybe one day I can be brave again.

Once you were finished reading, you immediately began analyzing Jihoon’s face again. You had never seen him look like this before, completely vacant. While he was hard to read to the entire world, he was always an open book to you. Now reading him was nearly impossible even with your expertise.

“What are you gonna do?”

He shrugged lazily. “I don’t know. Sit here for the rest of eternity. Wait for the soft embrace of death.”

“Jihoon.” You exasperated. “We both know you’re not actually going to do that.”

Except he actually might and you actually couldn’t take that chance.

“Are you going to write them a letter?” You tried, again. “Maybe that will work out better.”

“I already did.” He murmured. “I don’t think they want to read it though.”

“Jesus Christ…” You groaned loudly, taking Jihoon’s face in your hands and looking him dead in his lifeless eyes. “They still like you, they’re scared and human like the rest of us, it is not the end of the world! Give them another chance and stop being such a goddamn drama queen!”

Silence. Pure unadulterated and perfectly aggravating silence.

“Alright, you leave me no choice. I’m bringing out the big guns.”

Being careful to keep an eye on the teacher, you pulled out your phone and started texting Jihoon’s mother. According to your message, you and Jihoon were going to be studying late at the library, and he would probably need to spend the night at your house. Which wasn’t a complete lie, maybe you would get some studying done. But, in all honesty, you had other things in mind.

“Take your pick.” You instructed, a box set in each hand. “Descendants of the Sun, or Record of Youth.”

Immediately after school, you dragged your best friend to your house and sat him down in front of the TV. Your parents didn’t even question it when you told them this intervention was a matter of life and death, that the patient might need to be admitted for the night. They simply let you do what needed to be done.

Jihoon, who had been relatively catatonic for the past 24 hours, finally showed a glimmer of something. He gave the slightest suggestion of a nod towards Descendants of the Sun and you happily popped in the first disk. As you claimed a spot beside him, popcorn and banana milk in tow, he naturally relaxed against you. You were the only person who got to see him unguarded like that, the only person he himself would allow. And while he was typically someone who kept his true self hidden from the world, there was a part of him that would forever belong only to you.

“Thanks.” He practically whispered, resting his head on your shoulder. “I—I needed this.”

“I know.” You smiled. “Are you ready to talk yet?”

He sighed heavily. “No. Not really. I still have a lot of thinking to do.”

“Well, if you need help thinking you know where I’ll be.” You offered without wanting to seem pushy.

If you weren’t mistaken, you could’ve sworn he actually chuckled.

“Yeah. I do.”

Little by little, your best friend was slowly returning to normal—or as close to normal as you’ve ever seen him. Eventually he started getting sucked into the drama, going rigid when things got tense, and actively pretended he wasn’t crying whenever You Are My Everything played. It was, overall, a job well done. You could sleep easy knowing that Jihoon would be just fine. As you drifted off, you felt him hold your hand and squeeze it gently.

Everything was going to be okay.

And if only to prove that point, the next day was nothing like the one before. Jihoon was back to his old self as if nothing had happened at all. Just another Thursday without a word or whisper about the chaotic tornado his secret admirer had unleashed onto your day-to-day life. He even had a letter for you to read by the time lunch rolled around. Apparently, some freshman irritated him over something seemingly small. At least—to you it seemed barely worth mentioning. But nothing ever really felt small to Jihoon. It was all or nothing, always living in black and white. Which meant that almost everything was important to him in some way. So you read the letter, and you edited it gladly.

Once you were done, he had something else for you. Another note from the admirer.

“This is the third one, right?” You murmured, glancing it over once before looking up at him. “Have you written back yet? Besides the one where I assumed you insulted their very existence with your entire arsenal of hurtful words.”

The blush crawling up his neck was an answer in and of itself, but the thick stack of paper he pulled out of his backpack solidified it.

“I’ve tried a few times.” He admitted hesitantly. “Nothing I write is good enough.”

“Oh, only a few times?” You teased, knowing full well that Jihoon’s definition of a few was the same as calling Jane Eyre a short shopping list. “What’s got you so stuck? Usually you have no issues penning essays over trivial things like cracks in the sidewalk.”

His brow furrowed defiantly. “Hey, proper sidewalk and road maintenance is important to modern infrastructure. If we start overlooking cracks in the pavement, then what? What about traffic lights? Can we afford to allow a single bulb to go out? No, of course not. That’s anarchy.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Jihoon…” You started with an exasperated look. “I was joking.”

Trying to hide the fact that his blush was turning a deep crimson, and failing quite miserably, he pulled a paper from the stack and put it back in his bag. Also something he tried, and failed, to hide from you.

“Are you kidding me!” You laughed, raking a hand down your face. “Did you seriously have a letter in that pile you were going to send to our congressman?”

“No—yes—ugh!” He groaned. “Can we forget about the stupid sidewalk for a second! That’s not important right now! Help me! How do I do this?”

Deciding you had teased your best friend enough, you placed your chin in your hand and smiled at him. “How do you do what, exactly? I’ve never had anything to do with the letters you write, I just read them so someone knows how you’re feeling.”

Who were you kidding, you could never tease Jihoon enough.

He rolled his eyes so hard that he rolled his whole head with them. “Like you’ve ever needed further insight into my head, you always know what I’m thinking before I do.”

True.

“But I don’t understand the first thing about—this.” He finished with a labored sigh, gesturing sharply to the handwritten novel in front of him. “You know that better than anyone.”

Again, he was telling the truth. In the years you had known Jihoon he had never developed serious feelings towards someone else. He had barely entertained the notion since entering high school. He always talked himself out of it because feelings were complicated and bothersome. Plus, he was terrified of being rejected. Like most people are. His intrusive thoughts just so happened to be louder than most.

“I hate to break it to you, Jihoon,” You started in a whisper, “no one knows the first thing about this. Not even me. The only person who can help you is yourself.”

His sour expression made it obvious that he obviously didn’t like your response. “Great. Super helpful. Thank you for your continued wisdom.”

When he moved away from you, you grabbed him by the sweater and pulled him back in. “Why do you always stop listening to me when I’m about to make my point?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Because it takes you forever to fucking get there.”

“Alright, you got me there.” You chuckled. “Listen, I’m not kidding when I say that you’ve got to do this one on your own. As much as I can usually sense what feelings are doing somersaults in your stomach, this is a first for you and therefore a first for me. I’ve never seen you like this before, so unfortunately you’ve got to discover this one on your own.”

As you spoke, his features slowly softened until all that remained was a very nervous teenager who didn’t want to screw up his first real chance at love. That’s all Jihoon was at his core, that’s all anyone was.

But you had to admit he almost looked kind of cute.

Almost.

“How do you always know what to say?” He grumbled while crossing his arms. “It’s annoying.”

“You’ve got a really weird way of saying thank you.” You smirked playfully. “Well, maybe this last nugget of advice will get you started in the right direction.”

“Why are you always—” He seethed through his teeth. “How are you still not at whatever your point is!”

You shrugged, because you honestly had no clue. “I'll get there when I get there. You want to hear it or not—”

“Spit. It. Out.”

“Now is that anyway to—”

Wow. You stopped, suddenly fearing for your measly life. If looks could kill—

“Alright, alright, you win.” You conceded. “If you’re having issues writing a letter to your secret admirer, here’s my advice. Stop trying to put words to your feelings and start putting feelings into words. You’re spending too much time trying to say it perfectly that you’re not saying it at all. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else, it doesn’t even need to make sense to you. So long as you put them out into the world, they’ll be heard and one day they’ll be understood. You get me?”

The look on his face was—strange. You had a hard time placing it, which should’ve been weirder than it was. In fact, you were seeing lots of different sides to Jihoon lately, sides you never thought existed. This time his eyes widened, the aforementioned scarlet blush had disappeared, and there was a radiance to him that you had never seen before. Like suddenly he could see clearly through the storm of his thoughts.

“Thank you.” He exhaled with a smile. “I’ve never thought about it like that before.”

Feeling triumphant, you wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m starting to wonder what you’d do without me, Jihoon. Three days and you’ve been completely undone and redone by this letter.”

“Letters are powerful things.” He muttered. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives. You taught me that.”

“I guess I’m a pretty good teacher.” You boasted, giving him a squeeze. “Despite the fact that I’m actually quite terrible with words.”

He shrugged off your arm. “Except you always know what to say, how exactly does that work?”

“Just because I can make you see reason doesn’t mean I’m good with words.” You laughed easily. “That simply means that I’ve perfected the art of understanding the impossible. Lee Jihoon. I can’t use words like you do. Trust me I’ve tried, I can never get the words right.”

For a moment, he didn’t have any sort of response. Which was definitely weird. It was a well-known fact that he was terrible with the sorts of words he had to speak, but he didn’t have issues when talking to you. That’s because you were friends, best friends. There had never been this sort of unnerving silence before. Not that you could remember, anyway.

What is going on in your head, Jihoon? You found yourself wondering since you couldn’t read his face. Have you started to figure it out?

“Sorry, I was thinking.” He muttered suddenly, shaking his head. “But I know what I need to write now. Will you read this one too? Even if it gets pretty long?”

“Of course!” You exclaimed with a smile. “When have I ever shied away from a challenge?”

The soft glisten in his eyes made your heart flutter.

“Never.”

When the bell rang and you parted ways, you wondered if Jihoon had ever written you a letter.

Well there’s a first time for everything.

For the next week, he was in full writer mode. And there were no more notes from his secret admirer, not that you expected there to be any. Every chance he got he was scribbling something down on whatever surface he could get his hands on. Textbooks, paper, his arm, he was more inspired than you’d ever seen before and nothing was going to stop him. He didn’t even come over to your house over the weekend, a ritual you hadn’t broken in the ten plus years you had known each other. It was a lonely week, for sure, but you knew it was for a good cause.

Then, after what felt like an eternity of silence, he approached you in the courtyard with a single sheet of paper in his hand.

“Hey…” He started uneasily, his grip tightening. “How’re you?”

Seriously? You mused to yourself with a smile. “I’m good, how’s the writing?”

“Done.” He clipped. “And—I think I covered everything.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, eyeing the sheet of paper. “With all of that writing I thought you’d have a novel for me.”

He shook his head, while a blush crawled up his neck. “Sometimes being concise is more effective than being overly wordy.”

“That’s true.” You grinned. “Easier for me to edit anyway.”

Nodding, he shoved the paper into your hand. “Here. Take your time, I don’t want you to rush it.”

“I won’t.” You promised, resisting the urge to start reading right away. “I know you put a lot of thought into this.”

With that, he turned around and walked off without another word. Leaving you holding something that looked like little more than pen ink on paper, but felt like a confession on fire. Once he was out of eyesight, you exhaled a breath you had been holding unintentionally and started reading.

To the person I have never loved before. It began, and you weren’t prepared for the roller coaster you had willingly climbed into.

This isn’t for the person I’ve loved all along, no. This is for you, someone who managed to stir my emotions more than a raging monsoon with only a few words and the hint of a promise. Who are you? I wondered to myself, because you were without equal. How could I have missed you? You were extraordinary. You didn’t have a face, all I had of you was a letter slipped into my locker, you were a ghost and I was set ablaze by your words. I had never felt like that before, my heart was unprepared. As was I. You made me question everything, and made me realize things I had never seen before.

What I felt for you wasn’t love, even though I thought it was at first. You presented me with feelings I decided I would never feel, so I could only assume that it was love. I felt like a live wire, ready to spark at a moment's notice. All I could think about was you. The infinite options and scenarios I dreamt up, all because of you, was astronomical. It was exhilarating, and I found myself drunk on the endless possibilities that you presented me. What else could make me feel that way, if it wasn’t love?

The answer was one I didn’t expect, and it hit me like a tsunami. I started to feel that way towards someone I already know. Someone who has cared for me more than anyone should, they have been my best friend for years so how could I suddenly feel the same way? How could my friendship for them become intertwined with the love I thought was solely reserved for you? And how could I have missed it after being enveloped by their warmth for so long?

You changed all of that. You made me see clearly for the first time in years and I was completely undone. Everything I knew was suddenly challenged, my feelings towards the most important person in my life changed without any warning, and I didn’t know what to do. How could I ask them, a friend, to see me as anything more? I was lost, trapped in an endless loop of destructive thoughts and desire. Desperately wanting to scream my feelings from the rooftop while fearing the voice that would have to put words to them. Your feelings for me awakened my feelings for them, and suddenly the words that have given me comfort for so long escaped me.

Still, you helped me.

In ways I can only thank with this letter.

You helped me because you are the one who told me to start writing letters. It’s always been you. You are the one who has given my thoughts meaning when I struggled to communicate with the world. One that could never understand someone like me. You are the one who wrote me a letter, asking a coward to help you be brave. It took me a while to realize that you were one and the same, but I picked up on the hints you left behind. I’m sorry it took me this long to figure it out.

Would you have showed up had I not asked you to come with me? I think about that often, were you only afraid because my initial thought was that there was no way it could be you? The impossible notion that my best friend could love me anymore than they already do? I have a thousand more questions I want to ask you, but I think I’m brave enough now to ask you in person.

So I’m going to end this letter here, because you deserve so much more than the words I’ve hidden behind for years. A letter I started to write for someone I thought I didn’t know, to the person I’ve never loved before. Funny, how it ended up being a letter to the person I’ve loved all along.

As you read the last line, tears already streaming down your face, you had never felt happier.

“You figured it out.” You whispered, almost in disbelief. “For a second there I thought you never would.”

You don’t know when Jihoon came back, but he was suddenly standing in front of you taking your hand in his. “It really shouldn’t have taken me that long, I’ve only seen your handwriting a thousand times before.”

Laughter bubbled past your lips as you dried your tears with your sleeve. “I was terrified that you would’ve figured me out from the very beginning. Looks like I really give you too much credit sometimes.”

“You do.” He agreed. “So, what did you think of the letter? Any edits you can think of?”

“This isn’t the type of letter that needs editing.” You stated plainly. “It would take away from the author’s meaning.”

“What would that be?” He asked, clearly teasing you. “Enlighten me.”

You shook your head defiantly. “No, no way. It’s your letter, why don’t you tell me what it’s supposed to mean?”

Part of him didn’t want to make it easy, that much you knew with absolute certainty. But, for the sake of time and your poor heart, he would let you off the hook. Just this once.

“That I love you.” He said softly. “More than anything else.”

Choking out a sob, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in close.

“I love you too, Jihoon.”

In the end, neither of you were good with words, but you only needed to know what to say to each other.

107 notes · View notes

rrazor · 4 years ago

Note

what is your skincare routine 🥺 plus imagine doing face masks with ur hq boy 😩😩 pleeaaaaaaseeee manifest

my routine is just a bunch of serums + moisturizer topped off with an obsession with cosrx :^)

here’s some of my personal h/c’s about their routine and how u fit in 💖

kuroo overexfoliated when he was 16 and that’s when he decided to get into skincare 🤡 but you’re really the one who ties it all together and finishes it 😤 has a bunch of blackheads and is hesitant about using acids but trusts you when you rec a bha (salicylic) and to his surprise it works!! you teach other about ingredients and formulations (more teaching on your end since he’s such an overachiever and is in a million different things) but his skin really goes 🌺🌺 when he’s got a routine down.

another amazing boyfriend to do self-care days with because he needs them so much 😭💞 spends the whole day by your side at home doing whatever whenever and holding your hand the whole way through 💖 does the spoon in the fridge technique to depuff his eyes after a late night and always sends u morning selfies with them on his face all “Good morning my Fated One 🥄👄🥄” 💀💀💀

bokuto already has a skincare routine kudos of his sisters when you start dating and only gets back into doing it regularly when he learns you like doing it too 💕 he wants to spend more time with you as if he isn’t already glued to your hip 😭🤚💗💗

but he slaps his face really hard like really hard 😵 you have to teach him to gently dab and work the product into the skin but he sits like a good boy on the edge of the tub and closes his eyes for you 💛💛 keeps his hands on your hips too ☺️ gets acne here and there and sticks on the pimple patches you give him while telling you “y'know, babe, since you gave these to me, it’s like ur kissing me all night long!!! 🥺🥰😚💕” kiss him now pls

akaashi looks like he has his life together but his skincare routine is 😬 uses bar soap and the same anti-aging face lotion as his mom but his skin is 🌹🌸🌺✨he’s skeptical when he tries out new products but he comes around pretty quickly when he notices how less fatigued he looks 💀

he loves doing masks with you and likes to do one in the morning and one at night because you’ve got him hooked now 😤 he’s so dewy oh my god man is literally gleaming like a diamond 💎✨what have u done….. i bet he has a gua sha and rolls your face for you too 🥺 he’s so gentle omg stop…. looks at u with the softest look in his eyes when you giggle at how funny the sheet masks make the two of you look 💞❤️💕💓💝

oikawa while it’s universally thought in fanon that oikawa is a skincare junkie, i’d say that he’s more so really picky and meticulous. he has specific steps he follows to the t and knows how and when to bring in a new product for any seasonal weather and other changes in his skin. he’s not necessarily going to try your products unless he’s convinced they’ll work for him (everyone’s different after all), but he’s definitely open to you trying his and sharing what you both know 😤💗💗

easily one of the best boyfriends to have self care days with: nails, hair, face, online shopping, you name it, he’ll do it with you 🥰💄💅 i think he hates hyaluronic acid and avoids it like the plague lmfao one of his favourite ways to pass the evenings is the two of you together gossiping with your masks on and eating snacks 🌹🥰🥰🌹

iwaizumi lmfao this mf’er is sooo handsome 🥵 so i say oily skin that’s prone to breakouts 😇 yeah i think iwa struggles with acne and his scars, but he gets lucky that he grows out it by third/fourth year university 😘 uses a basic cleanser marketed towards acne 🤢🤢 and some moisturizer🧴he doesn’t trust oikawa with skincare recommendations because one of the product he gave him had glycolic acid in it and iwa’s skin said 👹

he’s reluctant but lets you help him with his skin and it makes a notable improvement throughout your relationship 👍✨gets heart palpitations when you grab his face and kiss him all over 💘💘 and genuinely thinks you’re one of the best thing to have happened to him when you coo “so handsome hajime 💕” yeah i just think he’s a sucker for you saying his first name lmao

matsukawa he has pretty decent skin, maybe a bit oily and will get spots here and there but overall puberty said nah this one’s cool 😎👍 so he comes in with very basic knowledge about skincare. though bless his heart, he tries out a bunch of stuff with you and is always open to doing masks and trying out new products with you 🥺💖

his skin is pretty resilient so watch him go 😨🤭 when you breakout and he doesn’t jgjebnfkwzl he kisses ur acne scars and spots tho so dw he madly in love ok? 😘🥰❤️ once he starts seeing the changes, he keeps up with the routine you made together for him but he likes to beg for you to do it for him “aw, c’mon babe don’t u want your hands all over this? 😩🤚💕💓💦” i hate him

hanamaki he has a mini routine and knows the general steps from his older sister and because i firmly believe he has dry, sensitive skin. he avoids fragrances, alcohols and all the sulphates and parabens but weirdly his skin is okay with silicones. anyways, he’s the one that introduces you to these amazing korean face masks and now you’re both hooked, spending weekends and days off at his house walking around with ur masks on all 💓👽👽💓

a little bit harder to work with in terms of exploration with your products but he finds his cheeks pinking 💖 and heart beating a little harder 🥰 when you go out of your way to find products that fit his criteria and gets rlly sappy when you start using them too 😭💓💕 he buys the bigger bottles for himself and small bottles for u because he’s whipped (and funny) that way 😐💖

kita looks like he and his grandma would some diy face masks together 🥰❤️ he’s got a basic cleanser and moisturizer but doesn’t do much else. spends a lot of time learning about the products and right steps so he can be a useful partner when you go shopping together 🥺💘💞

he comes to love oils, especially squalane and rosehip seed oil. also becomes a vitamin c junkie 😤 he’s a stickler for patch-testing and comes to really enjoy the whole skincare process in the morning and evenings as his own me time. really appreciates and thanks you for sharing this part of your daily life with him 🥺💘💞💞💖 invites you over to do masks with his grandma 😘

atsumu yeah he gets his beautiful skin from his mom and literally everything else because his mom is 🌸✨in both personality and looks. exfoliates three to four times a week and still looks amazing so you really have to wonder what his skin is doing and what yours isn’t 😔

when he finds the products that work™️ for him (kudos to you), he genuinely cannot stop admiring the shine of his skin after someone points it out he’s all 👁👃👁✨ and calls you up “babe ‘m beautiful did’ja know look at me look” 😐 likes to do skincare routines together but rushes through his so that he can do other stuff with you 😭💗💖💕 hates it when you push him away and don’t let him kiss you while your products are settling 🥺☹️💔

osamu my guy here is also blessed with naturally occurring bacteria that gives him beautiful skin like life rlly isn’t fair 😟😟 he doesn’t know much but lets you do whatever and loves loves loves it when you put all the products on him 🥺❤️ sits down between your legs all 💗🐶💗 prefers mud masks over sheet ones and likes to smear yours on for u 🥰

he comes to love skincare, not as much as you but enjoys how his face feels after he’s all moisturized and such. though he never remembers sunscreen so please carry some with you 😭 he buys you snacks and sneaks kisses while u wait for your products to settle on ur face 💖💖 uses a jade roller in the mornings as he checks his phone because it feels nice 👍✨✨

suna sensitive skin but relatively normal in terms of oiliness. ik he steals his younger sister’s products if they’re close in age 💀 he has very little idea how to get started so when he jumps in and tries one of yours he breaks out really bad and curses you lmfaoooo 👿👿👹🤡

ok but once he gets a decent routine in, he does his best to keep up with it and it helps!! his skin feels less tight and more supple so he might love you a little more for that 🙄🤚💖 he prefers sheet masks and lets you clip his curtain bangs to the side✨ also looks like the kinda guy who likes to sit on the balcony/patio with his mask on and soak up the sun in the mornings after you both have your sunscreen on 🌼🌼

ushijima his skin is dehydrated but he doesn’t know it, has accepted the oiliness of his skin as a symptom of his athletics 😔 he’s got a bunch of expensive luxury products given to him by his mom and she’s told him to use them but he doesn’t know what the right order is so he puts on an occlusive first before anything else 😭😭😭

genuinely appreciates you so much when you take the time to teach him about everything and even asks if you could give him some notes so that he can refer to them when you’re not by his side 🥺💗💕💖 joins you in your product endeavours and gives you succinct but helpful feedback on what he likes and doesn’t like 😤 likes to hold you while u do masks together 🌼 and rests his head on urs 😭🌸💕

tendou uses whatever he’s got at home and what his mom gets him 🤷‍♀️ spots here and there but otherwise pretty clear skin. he’s open to trying anything and everything with you because he’s just really happy to spend time with you 🥰💞💞

sits really close to you and let’s you have free reign of his face when you sleep over at his place!! he giggles a lot because it tickles but never asks you to stop 🥺💜 thanks you for helping him and making him look so pretty 🌷✨looks like he’d be allergic to propolis/honey-based ingredients...

semi handsome man…. another one that looks dehydrated to me but he’s trying just please help him 😭🤚 he’s too nervous to go skincare shopping on his own because of the sheer amount of selection available 😢 tags along with you like a little puppy when you go with him 🐶💘

i feel like he has closed comedones 🤔 he tries out your retinol and keeps up with it when you told him some people got rid of theirs using it and…… it worked 😳🌟✨ thinks you’re a skincare goddess now lmfao 😤👊 when girls in university ask him about his skin, he just calls you and puts you on speaker because “my baby worked rlly hard so she should get all the credit” 😭💖💖

sakusa i think rosacea but also wealthy parents who had access to numerous dermatologists who nipped it in the bud as soon as they saw it 🤑 anyways he’s got near perfect skin lol goes through periods of dryness and keeps a strict regimen of products 👌🌟 swears by aloe vera and keeps some with him at all times 💗

though i do think you gently push him to introduce serums and essences into his routine (which is basic, but covers all his bases). you let him experiment and he finds one from cosrx that he considers a holy grail 😳 he likes doing ur skincare routine for you and you sit on the toilet seat and grin up at him 🥰 he blushes but doesn’t look away and might or might not admit he loves to be in such close contact with you 💘💘

hoshiumi kinda brutal with the way he goes about it; it looks like he’s beating the product in 💀👊👊 uses bar soap on both his face and body and wonders why his skin is dry and tight after showers “what? doesn’t that mean you didn’t clean all the gross oil off?” 😶😐😑 u gotta start from scratch with this guy 🤐

he pays attention to you but also doesn’t and finds it a bit of a hassle to go through five different products so he settles for a really basic routine 🥱 has one really fancy bottle of serum he takes with him to games and such and goes “my girlfriend gave it to me what don’t you have something like this 🤔” before putting it on if anyone asks 💀🤚💗 a full on chad 💪

hirugami he definitely has a skincare routine…. handsome 🤤 though i think he dislikes the feeling of sheet masks on his face; they feel too goopy and he doesn’t like how slimey they are. he prefers just using a short list of serums to keep his skin healthy and plump 💖✨likes hypoallergenic and fragrance-free products 👌

had acne back in middle school and a bit in first year. feel like he goes through a flare up in third year 😇🙃 anyways he likes standing next to u in the washroom doing ur routines side by side 🥰 wears those fluffy animal ear headbands with you and puts on your lip balm for you 💓💓 his dog came up and licked u across the face one time 😭 he almost choked with how hard he was laughing at u 😔 but he helped u redo it 😭💝

170 notes · View notes

plaidbooks · 4 years ago

Text

Feeling Cold

A/N: I just can’t stop writing Sonny Carisi, especially fluff. Because this man deserves fluff and happiness (okay, everyone on svu deserves that). Anyways, here’s some fluffy Sonny fluff.

To my non-American crowd, 5⁰F = -15⁰C

Tags: none (it’s implied they have sex at the end), alcohol mention (Bailey’s is an Irish cream liqueur)

Words: 2577

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @infiniteoddball @ben-c-group-therapy @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @shroomiehomie @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @averyhotchner @redlipstickandplaid @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @reading--mermaid @dreamlover31

It was one of those days where Sonny had arraignments all morning, then no court the rest of the day. Normally, he loved that; it’s not that he hated trials or courts, but he felt like it was, well, a time sinkhole. He had so much paperwork and stuff to do, and sitting at a table, listening to the defense drone on and on, made him more anxious as he thought about the stacks of files in his office. When he was up in front of the judge and jury, it was fine; he was getting things done. Any moment not actively working felt like a waste, though.

But today, he was leaving the warmth of the courthouse to half-jog through snow and 5⁰ weather. He checked his watch as he entered One Hogan Place, seeing that it was his “normal” lunch time; he was planning to take a quick lunch break, then dive into work. Plus, his lunch break meant he got to call you.

You had the day off, so he called you while in the elevator, heading up to the eighth floor. “Hey, doll. I’m done with court and just heading up to take my lunch. How’s your day?” His voice was a little unsteady, his teeth chattering. He had his normal peacoat over his suit, but he had forgotten both his scarf and gloves, and he was freezing.

“Fine…. You sound cold, Sonny. Are you outside?” you asked.

He huffed. “Not anymore—I’m just getting to the eighth floor,” he explained. The elevator doors dinged open, and Sonny let out a hiss as a blast of cold air hit him.

“What happened?” you asked, hearing his exhale.

He let out a shiver. “It’s fucking cold in the office.” Hurrying to his door, he unlocked it with numb fingers, and it was even colder inside. “The heater must be broken.”

He noticed everyone on his floor bundled in various coats and blankets, some even with personal heaters. Sonny moved behind his desk, sitting in the chair and feeling another shiver move up his spine from the cold leather.

“Would coffee help?” you tried. You had just made a huge batch of soup—for lunch and dinner tonight—and you wished Sonny could have some.

“Y-yeah…good idea.” He stood and went to his coffee maker. “Aaaand, it’s broken. Holy shit.” He clenched his jaw, feeling tears in his eyes from frustration.

“Oh god; I’m sorry Sonny. Can you leave early? Bring paperwork home to work on?”

“No—I have a meeting in two hours, and I need to be here. I-it’s fine. I can deal with this.” He grimaced, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m gonna go—eat my lunch. I’ll talk to you tonight, doll. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sonny. It’ll work out; I promise.” You hung up, thinking. Sonny sounded so upset, and you knew him—he got cold easily. The downfall of his lankiness. It was only a 10-minute drive to his office; you could easily make it before his meeting. Hell, he’d probably still be on lunch.

You ladled some soup into an insulated thermos, then pulled on Sonny’s coat—which was much too big on you. And then you pulled on a second of his coats. You stopped by the store on your way, buying literally the last space heater on the shelf, and ordering an extra-large coffee—with a tray.

You put the thermos on the tray, opposite the coffee. Tray in one hand and space heater in the other, you made your way to the eighth floor of One Hogan Place. It was freezing in the building, and you felt bad for the various workers you passed by, all bundled up.

You made it to Sonny’s office, putting the heater down to knock on his door. He called out to you, and you opened the door, stooping to grab the heater as you entered.

“D-doll?” Sonny asked, shivering. He took you in—the two coats, the tray and box. “Wh-what—?”

“I figured you needed this,” you said, smiling. He shook himself, standing and hurrying around his desk. You handed him the tray with coffee and soup, then placed the heater on the desk.

Sonny put the tray on his desk, still looking confused. “What i-i-is all this-s-s?”

“Drink some coffee—warm up. The thermos has minestrone soup,” you instructed. He didn’t need to be told twice, taking a deep gulp from the coffee cup. You shrugged off the top coat, laying it on the desk. Then, you shrugged off the second coat—the one that was insulated between your body heat and the top coat. Sonny stood stock still as you slipped his arm through one sleeve, then pulled the other one on.

“Better?” you asked, grinning at him. You pulled the other coat back on—it was cold in his office. Sonny nodded, just barely, and you turned to the desk, ripping the space heater box open.

Sonny was so stunned by your act of love; you were here to make him warm, to make him feel better. His mind was spinning—he was the one that did this for others. No one had taken care of him like this…except for his Ma when he was little. He didn’t quite know how to process it.

You finished “building” the space heater—you simply shoved the base on—then stood it by his chair and plugged it in.

“Is this a good spot?” you asked, turning to look at him. But Sonny hadn’t moved, his brow furrowed as he looked at you—no, he looked through you. “Sonny?”

He visibly shook himself. “I-I’m sorry, what?”

You gestured to the heater. “Sit in your chair as if you’re working and tell me if this is placed right.”

Sonny moved back behind his desk, pulling his coat closer around him, then sitting. “A little to the left?”

You moved the heater this way and that until Sonny announced it was perfect. Then he stood once more, coming over to you, and wrapping you in his arms. He kissed your cheek, his lips cold still.

“I love you so much. Thank you,” he muttered in your ear.

You smiled against his shoulder. “Of course, Son. I love you, too.” He held you for a long time, both of you warming from the contact. You kissed his cheek, your lips warm against his cold skin.

Eventually, you pulled back. “Text me when you’re coming home—I’ll have the heater on and a bath ready for you, okay?”

“Y-yeah, okay. Thank you again. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Freeze to death, apparently,” you teased, and he chuckled. “Now drink that coffee and that soup before they get cold. And don’t be too late tonight—it’s supposed to get colder and snow more.”

You moved to the door, and he croaked out another, “I love you.”

You paused and turned, giving him a soft smile. “I love you, too. See you tonight.”

*********************

Sonny texted you that he was heading home. The soup was simmering, the heater was on, and you made hot chocolate. The bath, you’d wait until he was home, so that it’d be steaming hot. Still, you got a towel ready for him, and you grabbed his favorite sweats and his Fordham hoodie, throwing them in the dryer.

You heard Sonny’s footsteps in the hallway outside your shared apartment, and you went to grab a mug. The front door opened and shut as you poured some Baileys into the mug, then the hot chocolate.

“I’m home, doll,” Sonny announced, shrugging out of his two coats and suit jacket.

“In the kitchen,” you called back. You met him as he came in, handing him the hot chocolate. Sonny was shivering again, his nose and cheeks bright red.

He cupped the mug with both hands, groaning as the warmth seeped into his skin. “Th-thank you-u-u,” he breathed.

“Mhm—there’s Baileys in it, too,” you warned, and he took a grateful sip. You smiled as he made a happy sound, then took another sip. “I’ll get that bath ready, and then you can have some soup.”

You headed for the bathroom, then turned the water on. As soon as it was hot, you plugged the tub, letting it fill. Sonny joined you in the bathroom, and you swore you saw tears in his eyes.

“Are you okay, Sonny?” you asked, worried.

He nodded, blinking rapidly. “Fine; just something in my eye.”

You gave him a look before brushing it off. “Okay, well, bath’s almost full if you wanna strip.”

He placed the empty mug on the counter, then started pulling his clothes off. He was still trembling slightly, goosebumps on his skin even in the warm apartment, and you were worried he may get sick. Once undressed, you helped him into the bath. He groaned as he sunk down, letting himself slide until he was almost fully underwater. You smiled at him, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. Then, you took the empty mug, and went to refill it.

You brought a full mug back, and Sonny’s eyes were closed as he soaked. “This water feels amazing,” he moaned.

“I’m glad,” you replied, passing him the mug. “How was the rest of your day?”

“Soooo much better with that space heater. Thank you so much for that—I can’t believe you found one.”

“It was the last one on the shelf. But if they were out, then I would’ve just dropped off the coffee, soup, and coat, then gone out to find one for you.”

Sonny blinked, staring at you. “You’d do that for me?”

“Of course, I would—you’d do it for me,” you replied, chuckling in disbelief that he asked.

“Y-yeah…I would…” he trailed off, sipping his hot chocolate.

You smiled at him. “Then why is it so shocking?”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I just…never mind.” You gave him a stern look and he sighed. “I’m just…I should be used to this by now.”

“Used to what?”

“Someone taking care of me…someone who cares….”

You softened at his words. You had been dating for a few years now, having just moved in 7 months ago. And while it’s true that Sonny went above and beyond in the relationship, you tried your best to do the same for him. The only issue was that Sonny usually brushed off your attempts, not maliciously—he just wasn’t used to it, like he said. You’d try and cook dinner after a long day, and he’d take over once home. You’d plan to have his suits dry cleaned, and he’d snag them on his way to work, picking them up on his way home. Sonny didn’t like people waiting on him; he felt like it was a bother to have someone do something he could easily do himself. Your only time to “take care of him” was while he was at work, or holding him after a long day.

“Listen to me, Sonny; a relationship shouldn’t be one person doing everything for the other. There has to be a balance. So, let me take care of you. Let me do things for you, even though you can do it yourself. I want to do things for you, okay?”

Sonny turned to look deeply into your eyes. He scanned your face for a long time before he eventually nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay. I can do—I can try and do that.”

“That’s all I ask,” you replied. You stood, turning to leave the bathroom.

“I’ll be out in a moment—the waters getting cold,” Sonny said.

You turned back, smiling. “Okay. I’ll get your clothes ready.

He raised an eyebrow at you as you left, heading for the dryer. You pulled out his hoodie and sweats—both steaming hot. By the time you came back to the bathroom, Sonny was out of the tub, drying off. You passed him the clothes, and he smiled softly as he felt the warmth in the fabric.

As he got dressed, you went back to the kitchen, stirring the soup. Long arms wrapped around you from behind, and Sonny’s chin went to your shoulder.

You chuckled. “Feeling warmer?”

“I always feel warmer around you.”

“Awww, that’s cute. But I’m serious,” you said, turning in his arms.

He grinned at you. “Yes, I’m warm now. Thank you, doll.” He leaned down and kissed you tenderly, putting all his love and affection into it.

“Good,” you whispered against his lips. “Ready for dinner?”

Sonny gave you another kiss before pulling away, heading for the cabinet with bowls. “Starving.”

*******************

Sonny caught you up with his day during dinner, then asked you for yours. Your day was a lot more boring, so there wasn’t much to comment on. Even so, Sonny hung on every word, as if you had traveled the world in 80 days rather than make and simmer a soup, and do some small jobs around the apartment.

Once done eating, you cleared the bowls, rinsing them out and putting them in the dish washer. Then, you went back to Sonny on the couch, throwing a blanket over him, and cuddling next to him. He chuckled, moving the blanket so that it was covering you both, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you against his chest.

“I love you so damn much,” he murmured against your head, pressing a kiss to your temple.

You chuckled. “I love you, too.”

You both sat there a moment longer, watching whatever Sonny put on TV. You could hear him humming—something he did when he was thinking hard. You were just about to ask him what he was thinking about when he whispered, barely audible, “marry me.”

You let out a surprised huff of laughter. “I think you’ve had too much Baileys.”

“I’m serious. Marry me.”

You turned to look at him, finding his eyes on you. “You’re serious?”

Sonny rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. You sat up as he got off the couch and disappeared down the hallway to your room. There was some shuffling, and your heart started beating faster. He came back soon enough, a small ring box in his hand.

“Yeah, I’m serious,” he announced, dropping to one knee in front of you.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you gasped, your hand coming to your mouth. “Oh my god! Of course, I’ll marry you!” you tearfully said, hands shaking.

Seeing you cry made Sonny start crying. He sniffled loudly, blinking his eyes rapidly as he took the ring and slid it on your finger. He got up, and you pulled him right back down into your lap, holding him close and kissing him.

“Well, I guess now I have to get used to you taking care of me,” he muttered, and you laughed.

“Yeah, you do. I want to take care of you, love. You spend so much of yourself, taking care of everyone. Let me return it.”

Sonny nodded. “I will. I promise. But right now, I want to return the favor. You warmed me up, and I have an idea of how to warm you up.” He leaned in to kiss you deeply, and you gripped his hair, tugging gently. He groaned into your mouth before urging you to stand, dragging you to bed.

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #yes this was a thought I had after episode 22.10 #because I feel like Sonny needs someone who cares about him #as much as he cares about others

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ask-sakamaki-kanato · 3 years ago

Text

Small Gift

Note: This is my very first time writing any fan-fiction! I lack many things but I still have a tiny hope that someone will enjoy this short story I’ve come up with.

[In the city]

Yui went alone to the city to buy some ingredients for French Crepes. It’s almost time for dinner. The weather is warm and the sky is still bright since it’s middle of June.

Yui POV:

- Eggs, milk, sugar and butter… alright! I’ve got everything needed.

Looks at the clock tower.

- Oh..! It’s almost time for dinner. I better go back to manor soon - Reiji-san might be mad if I be late.

Yui starts walking faster. She almost walks past the toy shop. But she comes back and stares at the displayed stuffed animal toy.

- What a pretty plushie..

She stares at it for quite awhile, analyzing every detail of the toy. It was a lilac purple rabbit plushie.

It had two adorable long ears. Eyes were light green and eyepatch on the right eye. The eyepatch was dark purple with yellow moon along with 2 small stars. Three big stars were on its’ face. The toy had a ruffled purple collar too.

Yui’s eyes went slowly to the bottom until it stopped on the price tag.

- *backs off a little* S-so expensive…?!

She stares silently at the doll drowned in her thoughts.

The Church bells bring her back to reality.

- !!! It’s alright 6 p.m? I need to go back.

Yui leaves quickly leaves before she comes back and enters the shop.

She comes out after a minute.

- I- I did it… I bought this plushie spending most of the leftover money that Reiji-san gave me….

- B- but! At least I will be able to make Kanato-kun happy with this doll.. - Yui says as she walks back to the manor of Sakamakis. (She’s not rushing because she knows she’ll be scolded by Reiji anyway)

[In the manor, after dinner]

Yui in front of Kanato’s room.

- {Okay! You can do this. We just ate dinner but I’m sure Kanato-kun would love to have some pancakes. I will give him the doll after that}

She knocks on the door.

- Kanato-kun can I come in?

- …

- Weird.. maybe he’s busy. I guess I’ll come later.

As she turns back she feels a familiar scent.

- AH..!!

Kanato was standing there.

- So noisy… Did you see a ghost?

…What are you doing in front of my room? Don’t you think it’s inappropriate?

- I- I’m sorry..! I just made some pancakes and wanted to have some together.

Kanato silently glares at Yui. After a moment he hugs Teddy tightly while tilting his head slightly.

- Heh…. Is that so? Hey Teddy.. you want some pancakes, right? Heh heh.. yes, I wanted something sweet, too.

Yui smiles and leans closer to Teddy.

- Teddy, let’s eat my pancakes together! Three of us <3

- What are you doing..?

- Eh?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!

- !!!

- Please don’t talk to Teddy so friendly!!!

- I’m sorry..

- Don’t just stand there. Let’s go inside.

[In Kanato’s room, after eating pancakes]

- How was it Teddy? Did you like the French Crepes? Heh… they weren’t that bad….

- {Kanato-kun seems happy..} U-um Kanato-kun!

- Yes? What is it, Yui-san?

- Could you come to my room later? Please!

- Are you ordering me around?

- No! That’s not it..

- … Well whatever. I’ll come.

- ! Thank you Kanato-kun! Then, I’ll be waiting.

Yui leaves.

- Hey, Teddy.. do you think Yui-san wants to give me her blood? Heheh… I can’t wait to taste it again.

[Yui’s room]

- {Phew! I feel so much better after bath. I wonder when will Kanato-kun come.. huhu, I can’t wait to see his reaction when I give him this lovely plushie!}

- Yui-san.

- AHH!!

- … You’re screaming again.

- Oh, sorry…

- {Did she take a bath? I smell shampoo.. and her blood, too. Hurry up and give me your blood.} So?

- Oh yeah! Here c:

Yui gives Kanato a stuffed rabbit toy.

- !

…What is it for?

- I found this in a toy shop today. When I saw this I immediately thought of you, Kanato-kun!

- This is.. for me?

- Yeah! {Now, smile!}

- Thank you.

- Eh? {That’s it?}

- Is there something wrong?

- Um.. no….

- Then if there’s nothing else I’ll be leaving.

- Oh, okay.. Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

[Yui’s room, in bed]

- Hah… I’m so tired. Not only did I get scolded by Reiji-san but also Kanato-kun didn’t seem to be that happy about the gift. Does he hate rabbits? It was a really cute doll, though. I really wanted to see him smile.

[The next day, Yui’s room]

- It’s already late. You shouldn’t be in bed too long even if it’s weekend. Please get up.

- Mmh..? Oh, Reiji-san. Good morning.

- Good grief. Change to your daily clothes Yui-san. Oh and could you please wake up Kanato-kun? I will be going to the city soon to buy some stuff.

- Alright!

[In front of Kanato’s room]

Yui knocks the doors.

- Good morning Kanato-kun! It’s time to wake up~

- …

- I guess he didn’t hear me? I should go inside.

Yui opens doors.

- Excuse me-

Yui saw Kanato sleeping like an innocent boy. At that moment she had forgotten all the bad things that happened yesterday and she smiled brightly. She saw Kanato-kun sleeping with Teddy and the rabbit doll in the middle of them.

She quietly left his room. Her day started out great! She couldn’t be happier than to see Kanato dearly treating the doll she gave him as a gift.

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers fanfiction #diabolik lovers fanart #kanato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki x yui

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wizardcommune · 4 years ago

Note

aaaaaa i also love urbosa (i’m the previous anon that asked for her ehe) i am just a Little Lesbian who is starved for content... is it too much to ask for sfw alphabet with her? i really don’t think you write her out of character like you worry in the tags :>

urbosa sfw alphabet

a/n - THANK YOU!!! that means so much to hear fndbsngm

also, i’m so sorry about the wait on this one!! my school’s trimester is ending early so i’ve been trying to raise my grades at mach twenty. i do have a break now though, so i’ll be able to write more frequently!!

pairing - urbosa x reader

warnings - none!!

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

urbosa prefers giving verbal affection, and receiving physical affection! she compliments you as often as possible

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

as a best friend, she teases you a lot. she's like a big sister

but like. y’know. not in a weird way,,

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

she does! she’s not an extremely touchy person, but it would be comforting to hold you

her favorite positions are to lay on her back and put your head on her chest or shoulder, or spooning. no matter your height, She Will Always Be The Big Spoon

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

urbosa would still want to lead gerudo town as chieftain, but she’d settle down more in terms of fighting. she wouldn’t want to risk herself as much considering you were there

honestly i feel like urbosa is just That Person who fucking sucks at cooking. she knows it too; she’ll just kind of stare blankly at you in pain if you suggest she cook

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

she would be fine with the idea of commitment! she would want to wait at least a few years before considering marriage. it’s a weighty decision and she doesn’t want to make the wrong choice since it could harm both of you

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

she’s very gentle with you! definitely not as much as someone like mipha, but she’s very careful not to accidentally hurt you

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

urbosa doesn’t hug you often, but she shows physical affection in other ways. i.e. gently pulling you to lean on her when sitting down, keeping a hand on the small of your back, running her hands through your hair (if she can), etc.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

probably a couple months at least? (i've never been in a relationship so is that normal????)

she’ll say it on a calmer night, when the yiga clan is silent for once and king rhoam hasn’t called for her help. on rare days like these, she’s accustomed to drawing a bath that smells good as hell, so you’ll be really comfy and probably sleepy LMAO

will tell you right before you fall asleep when she’s thinks you aren’t awake!!! once she realizes you are, will 100% give u a forehead kiss

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

urbosa doesn’t get jealous very often, mainly pissed if someone won’t stop harassing you. she’ll wrap an arm around your waist, and if they aren’t already intimidated (they’d have to be drunk or just have The Audacity) she won’t hesitate to roast tf out of them. if you thought her teasing you was bad, it’s terrifying now. she won’t hold back

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

she honestly doesn’t have a preference on where to be kissed! she likes kissing you on the shoulder, forehead, and hand the most. :))

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

she’s actually really good with kids! even before she became chieftain, she liked hanging out + playing pretend with them

something really cool about urbosa that the kids like is that she treats them with high respect and talks to them like adults!!! (but very sensitive adults at that; she doesn’t tease them much. kids deserve kindness and you bet she’s gonna fulfill that)

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

she prefers long hours of sleep + waking up late. so if it’s a chill day when you’re not needed for anything, she’ll stay with you in bed for hours

if she wasn’t able to sleep as much, she’ll be lowkey grumpy in the mornings until she gets her tea

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

like the mornings, she drinks tea a lot before bed. she gives me jasmine or chamomile tea energy???? idk

long baths are a must, especially since it’s so sandy,,, everywhere,,,,

she’s the type to have a ton of candles and nice soaps and stuff, so she always smells really good before bed

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

pretty early in the relationship! she trusts you enough to talk about things that are bothering her/have in the past.

although, i’m not sure if she’d talk about zelda’s mother and stuff like that due to privacy reasons. unless zelda herself didn’t express concern over it, she’d keep the details pretty tight

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

unless you’re a yiga member, urbosa’s patience is very thick. i literally cannot think of a time she would get fully mad at you??

if you ever put yourself in danger, (especially for her) she would definitely scold you. never angry, though

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

urbosa remembers things even you don’t remember. mainly things you point out at a marketplace or something.

(on that note, she is absolutely the type to spoil you. you can mention a pretty flower in rito village in passing and she’ll be convincing revali to go get it for you within an hour)

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

IM SORRY I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING FOR THIS ONE EITHER

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

very protective!! even if you can fight/are a champion, she’ll subconsciously be protecting you in battle.

she doesn’t want you to worry about protecting her, honestly. (tbh she lowkey likes when you lean on her for safety)

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

she puts a lot of effort into them!! she actually finds it really fun to get to plan dates and stuff. she loves giving gifts and they are always very well thought out!!

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

bold of you to assume urbosa isn’t perfect

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

she does care about her looks, but only because it makes her feel good!! as long as she looks professional and clean, urbosa could care less about what other people think.

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

urbosa is comfortable enough with herself to be okay without a partner, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt. if you ever were to get hurt/leave her, she would be crushed, but she would be able to heal.

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

she hates the cold with a burning passion and anytime she has to go to the tundra, she’s grumpy the whole time

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

i couldn’t think of a partner one, but she’s scared of dogs for some reason. she is a cat person and they lowkey freak her out

z = zzz (what are some sleep habits of theirs?)

even though she has guards, being the chieftain means either of you could be put in danger at any time. because of this, she’s a fairly light sleeper. she’s also pretty protective in her sleep! she’ll pull you close to her and keep a hand on the back of your neck or stomach

#urbosas hair looks so soft....#not proofread we die like men #my work #urbosa hcs #urbosa headcanons #urbosa sfw alphabet #botw x reader #urbosa x reader #botw headcanons #botw alphabet #botw sfw alphabet #urbosa alphabet

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iiasha-archived · 4 years ago

Note

Here’s another ask game for ya! Assign your moots as seventeen comeback aesthetics (can include solos, OSTs, collabs, Japanese comebacks, etc) and say why you associate them with that aesthetic! Some can overlap too!

ooo okay.. i’m really bad at these kinds of things but i’ll try my best ❤️ i would have loved to do all my mutuals but my brain isn’t strong enough for everyone so i’m so sorry ahead of time if i didn’t get you!! 😭

edit: also i just realized this said COMEBACK aesthetics but i just did svt. well. anything lmao

@s0ftbb as clap: c just gives me such wonderfully colorful and bright vibes (esp with the use of the colored text lmao it always adds such a nice extra flair to all ur posts <3) and also all her creations and videos give me such HAPPY and LET’S HAVE A GOOD TIME vibes u know what i mean 🥺 and also just that splash of insanity that we all love <3 in particular i’m thinking of that montage scene near the end where there’s like confetti flying everywhere and it’s in slow-mo and stuff lmao

@rosevlolets as fallin flower: alexis gives me super soft and refined and of course flowery vibes! i think it also helps that all her tags for the svt members are literally flowers so it always feels like a cherry blossom breeze every time i see her on the dash or in my notifs <3 (oh gosh i hope that wasn’t TOO cheesy lmao) hehe but yeah i always think flowers when it comes to alexis which is perfect for fallin’ flower

@scoupsy as fear + fearless being the sister song: not because dreamy is intimidating or anything LMAO but i think this association immediately came to mind because of her astounding and beautiful graphics, i feel like they match the fear aesthetic super well. there’s like kind of a dark and elegant atmosphere i always associate with her gfx and in turn her but in like that really beautiful way <3 but ALSO fearless comes in bc i find dreamy’s personality super, well, fearless LMAO and just badass. i really love how she doesn’t hesitate to speak up for herself ❤️

@jonghan as (never-ending) aju nice: GO CRAZY GO STUPID GO WILD LOSE YOU’RE FUCKING SHIT AS WE GO WILD EVEN MORE!! i think yza perfectly encapsulates the never-ending aju nice stage as well as all the crazy antics that come along with it especially as of late LMAO. and again i tend to associate people’s content with their i guess. being? lmao but aju nice is equally as colorful and vibrant as her gifs PLUS she’s so prolific (e.g. never-ending but in the best way) like god damn idk how you keep up with it all afjksldjf

@soonhoonsol as healing: idk man chey just gives me very... lmao HEALING vibes :D seeing you on the dash and in my notifs fills me with this very feel-good “ahhh it’s chey!!!” and upbeat feeling hehe <3 and you almost always have such nice tags as well that i read them sometimes and i’m like 🥺🥺🥺 my soul = cleansed. but there’s also this sense of like... i hope this is for the long run you know? LMAO by that what i mean is the whole thing of healing is like DON’T stop this healing right basically i hope you continue to bless the dash for a long time whether it be with your creations or simply good vibes <3

@gotseventeens as change up: i don’t really have a reason for this other than vibes? LMAO i’m using vibes all over the place but yeah like for some reason the vibe i get from belle reminds me of the bold colors and suave/cool nature of the change up mv hehe ❤️ i think it’s because belle’s vibes also strike me with this air of confidence that is still kind of chill/lowkey about it lmaooo like YEAH you totally got this ;D

@tzhao12 as 2019 TTT (camping ver.) but specifically when they’re talking about their feelings at the end: because what speaks better about everlasting friendships than the friend i’ve been blessed with for what. is it 12 years now. she’s probably not even gonna see this for like 3 months bc unlike me she escaped tumblr. anyways tiff i’d die for you can’t wait for y’all to jumpscare me this thursday <3 i’m gonna cry i’m serious <3

@vernons as any vocal unit song: oona gives me very soft and gentle vibes which is a lot of what i get from most of vocal unit’s songs! if i had to pick exactly one maybe we gonna make it shine but that’s probably just influenced by me having listened to it recently hehe <3 also a lot of the nature aesthetics and makeup looks i see you post on your main blog feel like they fit in as the visual side of the aesthetic the vocal unit songs give me if that makes any sense??? LMAO

@heartgyus as snap shoot, + the creative process behind it: so in my heart rhys is like a leading mingyu stan here so naturally i had to pick something with mingyu’s entire heart and spirit behind it LMAO but in general rhys vibe and aesthetic gives me SUPER happy/fluffy upbeat like “whoo hoo!” vibes??? afdjklajf a little silly a lot of cute and a lot of fun :D

@haniehae as pinwheel: for some reason when i think of anna i get this sense of a breath of fresh air??? idek why this is another one i can’t really explain hahaha but yeah pinwheel is what immediately came to mind! i think also because when i see a lot of your moodboards pinwheel kind of naturally comes as like the backtrack for a lot of them??? i think it’s something about the instrumentals of the song. anna just overall also gives me very relaxing vibes whenever i see her on the dash hehe <3

@xuseokgyu as when they were filming the 2019 gose intro: okay this is really specific but for some reason that’s what came to mind afjkadslj MY REASONING is that belle just gives me the vibes of being like. super enthusiastic and supportive about EVERYTHING whether it be her own work or the work others are doing!!! also lowkey i get parental vibes from her LMAO so it somehow reminds me of when they were in the house and seungkwan was like “OKAY KIDS... GATHER AROUND...” lmao but in general the whole energy of that entire thing where they were like “okay here’s this thing we’re gonna DO IT” but in a enthusiastic/happy way is why i picked this jfaksldf

@17hateblog as seventeen’s humor: kay and i don’t really talk but she consistently has the funniest fucking tags ever known to mankind. it might not specifically be the same as the humor seventeen show us in, say, gose, but the way they both make me die laughing is the same <3 it doesn’t even matter what the post is everything she puts on her blog is an adventure and i am fucking here for it. AND she’s a jun stan so what’s not to love <3

@vixenjun as light a flame: because kaya and her blog literally embody sexiness + junhui in that choreo....... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> everything. i also really feel like her aes kind of fits that dark mysterious too-good-for-you beauty vibe that i also get from light a flame lmao (but underneath that kaya is obviously a sweetheart <3)

@happysmilebtr as hitorijanai: anna is just like. genuinely one of the most supportive and happy vibing people i’ve met on here? lmao and i feel bad bc i basically have now left you on read KJFDLAJDS but all our dms have been so much fun like i love just talking about anything <333 but yeah the way you’re so open and loving and supportive 100% gives me hitorijanai vibes and the message behind it :D

#asks #ask game #kaleidoscope-of-lillies #i know i didn't get everyone and that's why i struggle so much on these kinds of things bc i feel bad hhhhh

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neo-shitty · 3 years ago

Note

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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theharellan · 4 years ago

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𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 , 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆! tag six muns you would like to get to know better when done!

name : tas

nickname : tas is a nickname

age : 28

faceclaim : i don’t rly use one much these days but it’s still pikachu

pronouns : she / her

height : 5′6

birthday : september 24

aesthetics : fluffy cats, goats, sweaters, partly cloudy days, old ass mountains

favorite muse you’ve written : prob solas tbh!

what inspired you to take on your current muse(s) : solas being sort of a history nerd made me immediately interested in him and the concept of a dream memory as a primary source intrigued me. i fell in love with his friendship arc with my cadash and in my banter-sparse first playthrough he was the one who ended up speaking the most (and i didn’t even take him everywhere in those days). i rly dug his views re: magic, spirits, etc.

what are your favorite aspects of your current muse(s) : his revolutionary background, how much he turns the lore of the series on its head and throws a wrench into the idea that things have always been the way we perceive them in the series. i love how he exists in two extremes, how his stoicism exists beside intense feelings or his coldness contrasted with his caring.

what’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing : talking with my partners abt ideas for threads is prob the biggest! playing or watching the game, listening to music, are also good ways.

favorite types of threads : i love slice of life and angst, and i rly love action tho i don’t get to do that as much. exploring moments in the game that don’t get explored to their fullest extent b/c my priorities as a storyteller are different is also fun.

biggest struggle in regards to your current muse(s) : lately it’s that no one is particularly interested in writing with me or reading my stuff :^) idk sometimes i get into my own head and become rly cognizant of the fact that the more effort i put into something the less attention it gets and self-motivation becomes a struggle. also i’m bad at talking to ppl outside of group chats while simultaneously wanting to talk to ppl and feeling annoying if i do message. if u couldnt tell i have very much been in my own head

tagged: @ladaar tagging: @ofrevas, @sabraelost, @apogeaned, @dracaeons, @ idk steal it!

#( ooc )#( long post )#( about me )#[ i skipped age im not 23 im fuckin 28 ]

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dredshirtroberts · 3 years ago

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Tagged by @tumbleweedtech!!

What is your total word count on AO3?

Oh thank god you're asking me to look there where they calculate it for me so i don't have to try and figure it out across all eleventy-million of my fucking WIPs xD.

uhhhhh looks like...274,424 heh. that's lower than i thought but then again I post very little of what i actually write so...

How many fandoms have you written for?

On AO3? if I lump the related ones together (which i do) it's 4. If we're talking across the board in general? uh...f u c k. there's so much i haven't posted or thought about posting yet. just go ahead and like. add ten more on top of the four fandoms on AO3 i think that's about close if we're counting crossovers and inspired-bys

What were your top 5 fics by kudos?

Right Back to the Beginning

Constellations

Please, What?

Spearwort, Iris and Ash: Spearwort Yellow for Joy

Lia & Em's Adventure In Thedas Part I: The Wrath of Heaven

Do you respond to comments - why, why not?

I... want to? I try sometimes, if someone's comment touches me or came at a particularly bad time. It's overwhelming to respond to people - I'm a lurker by nature and never really grew out of the habit of teen-me knowing i wasn't supposed to be looking at the fics i was reading and so i wouldn't interact with them or the authors at all. So it can be hard to like. reconcile that I'm a fully grown adult person who is allowed to not only read and write what i enjoy but also that like. other adult people are reading and enjoying what i write? and that they'd want to tell me? I admit to also falling out of what little habit i'd started due to continued weirdly critical (yet not *negative*) comments that just. rub me the wrong way so I can't figure out how to respond? yeah.

What's your fic with the angsty-est ending?

Again I guess if we're going by what's actually posted, I'd probably have to say the Super Fucking Old fic I added from my FF.net days: A Late Summer Afternoon (hopefully that's the right link - sometimes copy and paste doesn't work the way i want). warnings for MCD. I...imagine you might be able to pick up on why that one's my angstiest ending xD I generally try to like. end my stories on a positive note? even if it's not all better yet - so the second angstiest would be Color of Your Eyes or Have This probably. Likely more Have This over Color of Your Eyes but they're both relatively tame as compared to my earliest writing xD

Do you write crossovers?

Uh...yes but i haven't posted any yet. Most of the reason nothing I write gets posted is because I am incapable of writing small projects and I get nervous about posting chapters before i know where i story is going yet because i feel like i can't edit if it's been posted? Anyway I'm going to try and get over that eventually. Not right now, though. I still have to edit some stuff.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Hate is a strong word. I...assume most people who have commented mean well, regardless of how their comments may come off to me on my end. Several have rubbed me the wrong way due to phrasing and an inability to read tone over text-based communication, but I refuse to believe they would have kept reading if they didn't like most of the story. Certainly it has been generally positive feedback across the board so I don't feel comfortable at all calling any negative comments i've received (intentional or not) "hate"

Have you ever had a story stolen?

As far as I'm aware, no. Thankfully I tend to write shit that people just don't care that much about so I'm pretty safe I think. Watch that come bite me in the ass xD

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nah. I hope one day to be proficient in my target language and will be able to translate my own fics myself but see aforementioned note about how no one really cares that much about what i write xD it won't happen unless i do it myself.

What is your all time favourite pairing?

You want me? to pick favorites? in THIS economy?

What is a fic you would like to finish but don't think you ever will?

currently none are looking like "never gonna finish"es which is good. RBttB sat unfinished for a long while and I probably won't polish the ending on that one, but it's technically done. I also don't want to finish that one either so. it wouldn't have fulfilled the requirements of the question.

Writing strengths?

You want me? to compliment myself? in THIS econo- alright alright i know, it's a terrible joke. Uh...I understand i'm pretty good at smut. and descriptions? i think? I feel like my humor is unparalleled but that's also because i'm pretty sure i'm the funniest person in my apartment (we'll just casually not mention i live alone...) Seamless integration of current and historical memes? Puns? i don't know. i am super confident about writing but i couldn't tell you for sure what i'm actually strong at.

Writing weaknesses?

uh. Getting anything finished. endings. d i a l o g u e. writing. flow. pacing. repetition. writing. see what i did there? i told you my humor was awesome. no but really i struggle with actually starting to write and then it ends up being a lot of me repeating myself a bunch until i find the sentence or four that work best. and like. my pacing is weird so it can be hard to...figure out what i'm trying to say? oh and commas. i use commas wrong.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages?

I enjoy the shit out of it. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but I try really hard to get it right. if I'm not 100% positive it's correct I will change the whole sentence. mostly because i only know a handful of people who know languages other than English and I am bad at reaching out for help when I need it. mostly the second part though.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

YuYu Hakusho! A friend and I wrote this epic fucking self-insert not-quite-isekai style fanfic back and forth in notebooks back in the 6th grade (which was about...oh. nearly 20 years ago jesus i'm old). Only one of my notebooks survived when she decided anime was demons and the devil trying to tempt her away from Jesus so a lot of the story was lost. It was also in pencil so it's half worn out of the notebook as it is. then there was the phase i went through where i decided i could make my notebooks more interesting by cutting them into shapes which lost me a bit of text in the margins that i'd forgotten about... look we're mostly lucky i had it at all or that i've kept it all these years. Why do i still have it?...hm.

What's your favourite fic?

Of mine? So far it's probably a toss-up between Spearwort, Iris and Ash and Lia & Em's Adventure in Thedas. you know. My two biggest projects Oh...oh possibly also the Current-Reworking-The-Title fic I've started that I've not posted anything of yet in the Arcana fandom. Which is also a huge major project. I don't write small if I can help it, apparently.

of someone else's? You want me? to choose favorites? in THIS- yes i know that's the same joke three times. I think it changes based on what I need most out of my fic reading experience. I have an extensive bookmark collection on AO3. one of them in there's probably holding a spot as favorite, most likely.

Tagging: @concertconfetti, @daughterofdungeonbat, and anyone else who wants to do this! If you want a specific tag to do this, please LMK and i'll tag you <33

#about me #tag game #writing #the captain writes #tagged by

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