#i feel bad for looking for lost stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

technicolorxsn · 2 years

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eugh having weirdbad feelings abt social stuff

#feel like im constantly doing things wrong and being judged or made fun of #even just existing #i feel weird quickly adjusting clothing or hair #i feel bad for looking for lost stuff #but like. if i dont look for it the second i lose it itll either drive me nuts or ill forget to look for it at all #and i talk too much to the wrong people #people im judged for connecting better too #its not my fault i find learning interesting and want to talk to people and learn about them or learn about what they know #and often the people who are willing to talk about that are teachers..#i feel so isolated #and even when i do talk to other students i get made fun of for that because im too loud or talk wrong or just #i hate it #im so sick of everything #i wish i could just do things right #and when i do things right whats right has changed #or i try and do things right and am told thst it changed and im weird for putting effort into something wrong #instructions stress me out too #i can never understand them right and people get annoyed when i need more explanation/information #or get mad at me for trying what i thought it was but just. theyd get mad at me if i asked too #im so tired

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lunarkittenn · 4 months

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I rarely take pictures anymore. It’s like I just don’t want to remember any moment from this part of my life lol

#me #mine #girls with tattoos #myself #girls with glasses #girls with piercings #fairy aesthetic #fairycore #you know I come on here or I look through Snapchat memories #and even at my saddest I did not know or understand real pain #now that I do I feel so different #so old and so worn out #I feel like all the color has drained from my being #I’m not even a person anymore #I have horrid ptsd now #the only way I can really hangout with my dad is to play iPhone chess bc he’s sitting in a fucking hospital bed #oh god it all hurts so bad to think about #it makes me want to throw up #I miss who I was three years ago before all the pain #how does someone even come back from all of this #how do I see the things I’ve seen and lose what’s I’ve lost and move on to live a normal life #I had seemed to learn every life lesson the hard way and always fall in love with the wrong ppl #I had a very tough time loving myself which is still true #but that was all stuff like I could live with and grow from #this is just a deep set pain idk

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ganondoodle · 3 months

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i cant lie, im also beating myself up about not being able to get excited for the new game, or anything anymore it seems, while it can be fun to criticise things, some things you just dont like so badly that the frustration knowing it could be so much better but isnt and you not able to change it outweighs any fun- i dont like being a 'hater', i hate totk, but not bc i hate zelda but bc i LOVE it and want it to be better (though im starting to doubt my ability to do anything good with it too..)

and with the new game trailer (like, i still hope its better than im fearing rn) i feel similarly as when the next totk trailers dropped after the first one (which DID excite me), all of them gave me a sense of dread bc it seemed to go into a direction i wouldnt like, i tried to tone that voice down to enjoy the game, but then .. i was right

i dont want to be an annoying complainer about everything new, but maybe i am and i dont like that thought, i dont want to spoil anyones fun, i want to partake in it :(

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #either way #i know im in a bit of a swamp of bad feelings rn so i dont trust myself and what i say fully #but i have been thinking about trying to only work on destiny in terms of fanart #and look at my original stuff and perhaps gamedev a bit more seriously #dont get me wrong im not 'leaving' the fandom #but the things i like are so few and tiny parts of old games that are pretty much irrelevant to the modern fandom #like trying to keep driving on tires even when they lost all their rubber #after botw and the first botw2 trailer i was so deep into the theories of it all- and now i dont even want to look at the thumbnails #(even if those were largely boring or kinda weird- i felt like i was taking part in a fun group about stuff i like? in a way?)#what scares me about doing more original stuff though is ...#even my fanart was niche and largely not “popular” so doing oc stuff might be even worse and idk if my frail self worth can handle that dro #and to the last point of the post itself................. maybe a fear of losing community too #like how in school you where at first a part of the class #and as you got older your classmates started to notice how different and weird you were #and then you were alone

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nabaath-areng · 3 months

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I feel so stupid for being this worked up about the graphics still but god I just. Buries face in hands

#i really worked to set aside my worries and reservations towards it #and hope that they meant it when they said they werent gonna alter too much #but then they went and changed existing options rather than adding new ones #so now we got pplwho are unhappy about the changes and complaining and ppl who are happy with the changes and unhappy with the complaining #whats more is looking at some npcs in anamnesis you can clearly see what an upgrade it is with just the resolution hair upgrades etc #and that you wouldnt have had to alter the facial features of npcs and pcs to polish the games look up #its just so disheartening!!!! i dont feel like im playing ieeha anymore #cause his temporary face isnt him but his usual face isnt either now #and thats not even getting into my many alts who look just as fucked up if not more #and i feel bad for having lost so much motivation #like sure maybe i can mod down the line #but i dont want to HAVE to? i dont like using major mods because i usually prefer the vanilla type of look #and i like it when i can play without feeling like im missing a bunch of stuff when mods are down #it just feels so disheartening?#silvi talks #and whines like a little bitch #i hoped that it would just feel weird because its new but no #the more time that passes the more cynical i feel about the changes HDSGJKSLD

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deoidesign · 1 month

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Hii! I have been recently getting more and more obsessed with your art and webcomic and was wondering if I could use your art as like a profile picture? (With credit!!) If not that's perfectly fine! :)

yeah you can use my art for whatever as long as you're not stealing it or selling it

I don't mind if people print my art out for themselves either. I do sell prints, but it doesn't bother me either way

In general I don't post anything that I haven't made my peace with all that comes with sharing my art publicly! So feel free to use it as you please pretty much.

Giving me credit for the things I've made is respectful and helps me in my career, and I would hope that most people intend to respect my work... And the people who don't respect my work were never going to whether I asked or not.

I make my work for other people to enjoy it, I want you to enjoy it!

#I sort of have a general thought process that like.#the main thing of my work is... my comics!#and thats my writing and my drawing and its these huge longform things #that to be quite honest. would be a ton of work to steal LMFAO #but theyre more intrinsically connected to me #knowing the name of the comics and the characters #looking for more. it's me. like it's always gonna come back to me...#But I also in general as a person... I sort of hate the concept of copyright #it plays at the idea of benefitting artists but the intent is to benefit corporations #and artists get screwed out of owning their OWN WORK for the benefit of said corporations...#The things that copyright are meant to protect are things that wouldnt matter if we werent living in CAPITALISM!!!#I wouldnt CARE if someone stole my stuff if I didnt have to worry about potential lost customers #so. I just try to lead my life and my art in ways that reflect my ideals #which is like... yeah go ahead. use it for whatever #I expect you to respect me and if you don't then I know it doesnt matter what I ask for. because it wasnt going to be respected anyways.#if you feel bad taking my stuff or printing it out yourself or whatever you can throw a couple bucks my way #helps me pay the bills lmao #but if you don't its fine. I'll be okay and it won't ruin me.#asks #anon #this isnot me saying yeah go ahead and steal my art LMAO #this is just like yeah as long as you arent saying or implying you made my work #or selling it when I am selling that same thing (stealing my money from me)#then. like. whatever #doesnt affect me negatively at all. I made my art for other people to enjoy it #I want you to enjoy it!

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz #ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and #then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific #cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or #etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as #you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on #accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have #as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence #of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate #versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a #neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest #ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling #and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for #documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like #sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I #can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If #I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my #ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be #accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor #focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it #were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan #that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is #some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my #kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means #i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m #in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in #one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability #& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER

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salsedinepicta · 9 months

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The (tired) face of someone who got a ✨fancy✨ Law degree out of sense of responsibility just to drop everything and become a photojournalist at the publishing and communication agency of his bestie - now family lunches are somewhat awkward.

(or: I roped myself into some kind of ModernAU because I wanted to practice drawing modern clothes - as usual)

+bonus with the actual protagonists

#Idk idk idk #I just hope hawke looks vaguely similar to himself because without face references I'm lost 🫠#The joy of being used to draw/paint semi realistic stuff #Anyway I like to think that while AU Thedas surely has its problems face tattoos on workplaces are not one of them #They are such a big part of the characters design that I feel bad erasing them #I know I know #clip studio paint #mixed media art #sketches #Dragon age #Da fanart #dragon age fanart #dragon age hawke #da2 #I'm not tagging anders and sigrun because they are literally 2 cm in a corner

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lucalicatteart · 1 year

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-- Poorly Constructed Enchanted Tool --

A small tool carved from a fruit tree seed. Energy to power the enchantment has seemingly run-out long ago, and the method of recharging is unknown - but, based on the appearance, it's very likely that this was once used for detecting magic. Usually, looking through the glass center would highlight areas of higher magical energy concentration present in the viewer's environment, even if they were otherwise obscured to the naked eye. While this form of enchantment itself is highly advanced, the craftsmanship of the item is far less neat or complex than what might be typically seen in similar devices. It may have been made as part of training/practice, or as a hasty replacement for a previous tool that had broken.

#written from the perspective of some fantasy traveler who checks all of the local thrift-stores and lost & found places for every #town they visit - looking for interesting items and documenting them or something #In reality - just another one of my goofy little avocado pit carvings lol. Still working on inlaying little stones in them and stuff #I don't really have the tools to make super intricate stuff but doing little plain swirly patterns is still fine enough lol.#WORKING ON NEW POLL ADVENTURE also I know I know it's been months.. I have been Busy and struck by the evils of summer #But like I mentioned in the previous one I do want to at LEAST finish the quest with the egg lol #ANYWAY.#Things like this would plausibly exist in Nanyevimi (my fantasy world) but wouldn't be very common as - like mentioned- this would be an #extremely advanced enchantment. REALLY advanced mages could sense magic around them (to varying degrees of pinpoint accuracy of location #) without even having to use any external device. But for a majority of people there's really no way to know someone is using magic near #you unless you either see visual proof or if it's strong enough to feel effects from it (since magic is kind of like radiation in that the #higher energy/more of it youre exposed to the more it damages you/can make you sick/etc.) and even then most people would just be like #'hmm why do I feel so nauseous and bad out of nowhere?' likely wouldn't directly think to link it to magic. Thus the only really reliable w #way isto just hone your senses over like 500 years as you become an expert mage - OR use enchantments like these. But a 'sense magic' encha #ntment is not as common as a just 'magic is not allowed here' enchantment. If you wanted to prevent magic from being usedin a space #it's easier to just put up a broad barrier enchantment around that space than to have some sort of Magic Sensor to pick out if it's being #done and then handle each individual case of it . etc. etc. These sort of things can have their uses (especially for people investigating #things or trying to be secretive about detecting something etc.) but are less common - especially in this form (where visuals are used. itd #be more likely to jsut have like 'piece of metal that gets warm or cool depending on magic nearby'.) ANWAY so this is why it's a notable #object. Though a majority of the realm is not very magic literate - if you were a researcher or a mage and found this at a pawn shop you'd #definitely be like 'oohhh!! :0 inch resting... ' if not you might just be like 'oh cool necklace!' lol #also love the quick 2min ''costume'' for the image of it being used. literally just 'wrap yourself in scarves from the waist up' and slap o #a wig and ears lol #on this blog I guess since it's worldbuilding related and technically art.. maybe more like crafting? I should have a crafts tag lol.. hmm

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aq2003 · 1 year

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there comes a beautiful time in life where i have to ask myselg th question, "did i accidentally project too hard onto the character that i only relate to a little bit and in doing so hugely missed this one entire aspect/interpretation of the characters . am i stupid"

#ARE THEY STUPID!#dr who #this is about ten specifically his relationship w martha lmao #m being so serious i genuinely did not. see the 'ten was on purpose leading martha on to make her think her feelings were requited' angle #until going out into the wild and reading the tumblr posts. like i genuinely did not. at ALLLLLL. its like a brick hitting my head #bc the ENTIRE time s3 ten came off to me as 'doing stuff w no romantic intent behind it but would consistently get misinterpreted as such'#cuz IIIIIIIII have done this. IIIIIIII have run into this problem before. and it sucks so incredibly bad.#i actually do want to think my og interpretation still holds water cuz like. well i could gather all the evidence but #first one that comes 2 mind would be him going 'it's like when you fancy someone + they dont know you exist' to martha. in episode TWELVE #two routes; either ten is needlessly cruel and callous even after a season's worth of building up trust and friendship w her #or he is on super 'i dont think she has feelings for me and this is a very unhappy coincidence of a line' cocaine #Or the 'she fancied me' line in s4 to donna. either he is disregarding all the good and positive impact she did him. or the fact that this #went over his head the whole time made him look back on that time w discomfort <- I DID THIS. I MIGHT HAVE BEEN PROJECTING #THIS ONTO HIM. AM I STUPID.?.?????#you know how mikage rgu can either be read as an incel or a gay man lost so completely in the sauce #ten is like in this same ballpark. i think. of 'emotionally manipulative and disrespects women' or 'aroacespec and missed the cues'#funniest possible options to pick from. ten my brother how did you set yourself up like this #absolutely not denying that he was toxic and unhealthy during s3 in like 500 ways btw. but well. ths is the one concwpt that #flew over my head. so completely. and i can kind of see it now but i also still find it hard to incorporate into my belief system #bc its like. brother I'M aroace and missed the cues too lol #tangential note we can trace many problems down to a writer's room filled w white people not giving #martha's character the respect/agency she deserves for the existing narrative she has. bc they pulled this w mickey too both in series 1+2 #if they wanted to portray ten as manipulative then him and martha should've been given more screentime #together where martha (or anyone else) calls him the FUCK out on this. and ten would need to suffer narrative consequences of doing smth #as fucked up as that rather than his happy stable dynamic he has w donna. if they wanted to portray him as oblivious then marthas character #shouldn't have constantly been boiled down to an unrequited crush (particularly her dialogue in the s3 finale - there's a LOT more reasons #why she would choose to leave/why their dynamic was unhealthy besides ten not returning her feelings)#if you read all these tags you may be entitled 2 financial compensation #ten and martha #aspec doc tag

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lisxdumbr · 5 months

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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah

#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back #and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck #she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me #BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad #i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa #anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since #the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem #they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt #recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times #and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so #what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people”#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw #and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason #ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends #so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much #rant #vent #?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all #I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now

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snickerdoodlles · 6 months

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there's a lot of things people blame for why fandoms feel like ghost towns these days, but no one's really talked about the way discord's contributing to it

#its like #people are trying to force fit discord's chatrooms into forum boards #except discord is just. really really *really* poorly setup for that #and theres no way to archive or share it so everything said in it is easily lost despite personal export or community pins or search option #and like #vaguely hearing about the way some people are unsatisfied with them/feeling unfufilled in the response to them #a lot of people would be better off posting those things to places like tumblr #where there isnt a time limit on when people see or respond to them #part of what's scary/frustrating on tumblr rn is some fandoms arent good about reblogging to posts or tag rambling #like with bad buddy a large part of the fun was the enthusiastic and in depth tag rambles and the way responses built on each other #vs something like kinnporsche which feels much more like-oriented #like? its not like theres any one way to fandom #and there's nothing actually wrong with likes or quiet reblogs #but vaguely hearing about the way some people were/are really upset with some servers im just kinda like #idk #feels a bit like people trying to force a square thru a circle or that they're looking in the wrong spaces for what they want #.......this is not a complaint for my space ajkds i think i've carved out a pretty happy space for myself!#im just checking the reblog graphs of some old vs new stuff and thinking about a convo other cookie and i were having over the weekend #i have a lot of friends around and i love everyone who's happy to ramble with me #but i do feel a slight case of DM burnout rn where mostly people reach out to me via DMs instead of reblogs #which is a very different dynamic #its like. hmmm words #i love DMs but the pressure of responding to a lot of individual messages #vs something like reblogs which is more open forum for everyone and feels more communal #if that makes sense?#the difference between visiting one person at home vs casually hanging out with a group at a cafe #and the lovely thing about tumblr specifically is that i can set down a reblog chain for several days if i need #before returning to it later when i have more time/energy #its got Longevity that discord lacks u know #........okay enough tag musings from me ajkfhjdgfhj BYE

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james-stark-the-writer · 1 year

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sometimes the way you people talk about Riverdale really makes me feel like you guys are anti-art lmao

#the day society thought there was 'bad art' and that inherently meant it had no value and was better off not existing was the day we lost.#'oh we're so glad it's over' you don't even watch the show.#'how did they ruin such a good show?' i don't believe you have actually seen S01 bc it was actually garbage. easily the worst season.#like S01 legitimately is some of the most boring TV.#and if you like it that's fine but to say it was a good show in S01 is so wjfsjfnsbdhd #raise your standards please #anyway uh some of you just are assholes and very much anti-art with the way you talk about some stuff #art is like meant to communicate something and express a feeling and evoke an emotion. my god.#the way some of you conceptualize it as just mindless entertainment is so embarrassing and sad.#like truly i mean i'm sad for you. you're missing out on so many unparalleled art experiences if all you're looking for is 'good art'#won't get into it under here but that FriendlySpaceNinja Riverdale video is so dogshit specifically BECAUSE it embodies this exact idea #'good writing always wins' you don't get art. you flat out don't.#to conceptualize art as only being 'good' (having value) if it has 'good writing' is such a stupid and capitalist way of thinking about art #anyway that societal critique would eat away at my tag limit so i won't get into it.#james talks #riverdale #not exclusive to Riverdale by the way. also very much applies to something like twilight.#like we've already done such a cultural reevaluation of twilight but i still see so many takes on it that are like 'this shouldn't exist'#and it's very inherently anti-art. also fundamentally the idea of 'good art' is just such dogshit but like go watch the CJ the X video—#on subjectivity in art for a much more comprehensive take on that. they break it down a lot better than i can in tags.#disliking something and understanding it isn't for you isn't the same thing as saying it shouldn't exist btw.#'twilight was not my taste' and 'twilight ruined vampires' or 'twilight is toxic and should've never been written' aren't the same.#like disliking something as an artistic piece bc it doesn't do anything for you is fine! good even. that's like the whole point of art!#but the whole 'burn it down' and 'this is ruining culture and TV' takes are so insufferable and anti-art lol

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motherforthefamicom · 1 month

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opened up minecraft on my computer for the first time in like over a year i think nd got so so fucking scared cuz it was saying i didnt own it anymore (turns out i just logged into my bedrock account on accident) and then we had to deal with trying to figure out how to even log into my java account and we almost thought we completely lost it or smthn

#i dont really care abt my worlds being lost thats happened. so many times over the years i dont rllycare anymore #plus i barely spend much time in single player worlds anymore so im not as attached to them as i used to be #but oh my god i havent even logged onto lgl in like a year??? two years???????? i dont remember anymore but like if i lost all my stuff and #had to walk ALL THE WAY BACK if i ever logged on again id cry #<- this sounds so stupid typing jt out but like #i dont care that much its just… soooooo much and id feel rlly bad for gizmo especially cuz itd be such a setback #im already a huge liability when it comes to playing on there im ass at this game and constantly lose stuff #inquisitivewaltz.txt #oh yah ‘we’ is me nd my dad cuz i donttttttt know the login info for my account #well. i didnt. i do now cuz we had to reset the password #<- he made my account for me way back in. uh i dont remember when we got java but like it was all jsut set up for me when he got it it was #like a surprise thing for doing good a state testing or something #whenever ive had to log back onto the launcher or whatever over the years ive asked him for the password and it was one of the autogenerate #ones so i never remmebered it #rlly stupid of me looking back but oh well its in the past now #seriously thougj that was so needlesly difficult #mostly my dads fault he had like fifty million different login information combinations saved for the same thing

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uncaught-coolfish · 1 year

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unpopular opinion the Maya models don’t look bad at all. But at the same time the only ones that look good to me are the ones in darker clothing, with darker skin, etc etc because YOU CANT TELL THERES NO FUCKING TEXTURING!!!!!!!!!

#rwde #also mostly talking about how the Maya models looked in v4-5 and somewhat 6 because #Wow the moment they put in that really chunky shading that looks ugly. IT LOOKED UGLY #characters like ilia looked good to me. no im not saying that cuz im her bff bestie forever friendship bracelet im genuine #adams design fucking sucked but I will not lie he looked good. and he looked fucking stellar in the short with his old design.#though again. that short had bloom lighting. and bloom lighting clutches all #they made his horns look like horns! yes we lost the mask texturing in the war but also WE GAVE HIS ASS ACTUAL HORN LOOKING HORNS!!!!!#ok enough stroking the only two characters I talk about on this account.#nora looked good! she wore bright colors yes but she also had that blacker jacket.#Ruby’s design also sucked but imo i feel it translated decently into Maya!#but then we get to v7 and you can noticeably tell stuff starts looking shitty outside of the backgrounds.#They smoothed out the girls faces. Will not lie it sometimes looks like they just copied Ruby’s base four times #and only editted the busy size or height to make the girls. The shading makes stuff look bad. The bloom lighting is gone.#Obviously I’m not wanting to blame the animators or modelers as they are for sure overworked to make this.#And as A 3D animator and modeler myself I do genuinely hope these people can be treated well.#But sadly just…. the models after v7 ain’t it for me

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lilowoof · 27 days

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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone #you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run #my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point #the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer #why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up #what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation #and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other #that might be fun #also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING #but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion #but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha #ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog #one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art #gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free #ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-

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majimassqueaktoy · 9 months

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So, Jess I know you’re not an artist like your bestie in the entire world snap… but what does your art look like I remember you doodled this little pic for me of Tien with Choatzu’s make up lol but have you’ve drawn anything else?

Ya

#i draw a lot i just dont post it all the time bc well... sometimes i dont like em sometimes i forget sometimes its just a personal lil thing #i havent painted for months bc i lost my paints but Snap actually bought me some replacements for my birthday the other day so 🫶#maybe i'll try and paint daigo or somethin and post it sometime soonish #in his honour #or maybe Tsutumi bc i like his face it might be fun to do................#or another baba since i sure like daito #or maybe i will just continue doin the boys from my REDACTED group lioe i have been the past few months #i have done haruka and majima but i couldnt find the posts in my tag and im dying of a flu or maybe covid (real not clickbait)#so i dont feel like gettin up n goin on my computer. i mostly had to screenshot these from insta lol #but yeah. i do also do stuff :)#ask #also yeah we made exactly 5 days into the year before my body decided to fuck me over so uhhhhhhh bodes well #genuinely feel like ive been hit by a truck and i have such a bad headache still havent played gaiden 😭#also why does answering on tumblr mobile app lately be so weird ???#like freezes the app keeps reloading cant look at notifs til i close it and reopen ? anyone else have that issue

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