#i fear this is me
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#i fear this is me#oh did i mention i love lokius#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor#viktor arcane#viktor league of legends#jayce arcane#arcane jayce#jayce league of legends#jayce#loki laufeyson#loki series#mcu loki#marvel loki#mobius#mobius loki#mcu#lokius#time husbands
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This is my love letter to the most beautiful ship I witnessed this year. Cheers to us Jayvik nation 💫


#just wanna say im so touched with the kind words i read on my wip post#you guys helped me finish this one!!#my magnus opus for this year i fear#arcane spoilers#arcane#jayvik#sketch#fanart#myart#procreate#drawing#illustration
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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#i fear this is me#ivy speaks!#this + “when i first saw you u thought you were mean”#maybe this is why people don’t talk to me
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like. say. with an altar of things that remind you of the character?
I like when people like a character so way too much that it transcends even self shipping or kinning and becomes more of a patron saint that you pray to type of deal
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“Normal” test results are not the relief people think they are. When you wake up in pain and continue to be in pain for hours every day and your tests come back normal you don’t stop being in pain.
#chronic pain#I guess#cripplepunk#crip punk#<— correct me if that’s overstepping#what do I tag this with#I obviously didn’t get a diagnosis#personal but I’m also really scared of needles#and having to go through the fear and pain and crying and screaming#for nothing#doesn’t feel good#people tell me it’s not “nothing#but I know exactly what I did before the tests#which is nothing!!#and I didn’t have to go through that pain for that!!!#also å few months ago I genuinely thought it was completely normal#later I realised that spending hours each morning warming up my hands to feel usable might be more pain and stiffness than other people#experienced#I genuinely didn’t expect all of my friends to say they didn’t feel ANY pain at all#and now I’m just hyper aware of how not normal this is#and I’m still in pain#and now I’m not gonna get any help other than a “try heat therapy from the doctor#which is what I was already doing#like no im not crying cause I’m not sick#it would be great if I wasn’t sick#but clearly something’s wrong
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(Note: the difference between guilt and shame is that ‘guilt’ focuses on specific acts or behaviors, while ‘shame’ involves the overall sense of self.)
#polls#azure does a thing#i love me some rage loneliness and fear#but shame is the absolute top of the list for me
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are you.. are you normal? or do you also read the most gut-wrenching, soul-shaking, earth-shattering angst just for the feel of it??
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#the book of bill gave me total brainrot#I fear they have taken over my life#tried to make bill look scary but then I added the bow tie 💀🙏#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#stanford pines#billford#toxic old man yaoi#emotional damage#song is I’m Your Man by Mitski#my art <3
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If this is what being ‘single and ready to mingle’ feels like, then I don’t want it
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satoru gets nanami drunk after an especially long mission, and leaves u to deal with his neediness :(( poor baby
nanami comes back home and you're laying on your side in bed, asleep, but jolted awake at the sound of the distant front door. the nightstand clock tells you it's a few minutes to midnight, and nanami always clocked out at 6.
typically.
he doesn't hesitate finding his way to you, understanding that if you're not waiting up for him, you'd be asleep. and, he was right. except, you're sitting up, blinking sleep away when he pushes open the door.
you can tell he's not all there - it takes him a second to catch his footing and notice you watching him.
"you weren't waitin' for me." he's slurring his words ever so slightly, letting them melt into each other. "what's wrong with you?"
"nothing." you whisper, giving him your sweetest, softest tone. "come on and come to bed, baby." you nod him forward, not like he could see you well with the lights on. you really didn't want to get out of bed - already wrapped nicely in your sleep clothes and content where you are.
seems kento has other ideas. he flicks on the light and leaves you to bear the harshness. you cover a palm over your eyes, hissing under your breath.
"really?" you whine, rubbing the assault from your droopy lids as he walks to the bed.
"somethin' wrong?"
you bite your lip, wanting to tell him to fuck off but extremely wary. you don't think he's been in such a state in... years, now that you're thinking about it.
"you weren't there... so i gotta- i have to take this off all myself."
you squint trying to make out what he's saying, but he's trying to toe off his shoes, stumbling in the process but catching himself pretty quickly. tomorrow, you'd scold him to hell for tracking them into your bedroom. tonight, you don't care. you just want him next to you.
but, it is annoying being woken up and forced to watch kento try and take off his shoes. "just take your shoes off and come to bed."
"did i tell you, that soup you made last night... fantastic." he mutters lazily, slipping into bed with his shoes still on. if he was sober, he'd see your eye twitch manically. he's so fucking stubborn.
but, he's being sweet ...kinda? right now, so you swallow that irritation and lean into him. like always, you start at the button at his neck, flicking it loose and moving down to his tie. it's been loosened already, making it easier to pull and slide off. under your busy fingers, nanami lays back on his propped arm, eyes shut.
so spoiled...
"shoes, ken." you so helpfully, sweetly remind him. to no fucking avail. instead, he leans into your exposed collarbone and starts kissing you. it's a specific kiss - a kiss that means 'this won't end anytime soon'
though you roll your eyes, you let him. your body is so fucking used to this, now, that all it takes is his shaky hand on your thigh to get you going.
and, you're going. you crane your neck for him, swallowing down want as his clumsy lips take to you like a cat drinking milk. he's stuck there -- fixated and happy lapping little love marks into your skin with a hand fiddling at the crotch of his work pants. he's restrained by a belt, two buttons, and a zipper, and his drunken state couldn't fathom undoing it all.
the first moan you give him has him pulling away, blinking up at you with reddened eyes.
so, he looks at you and asks - no, tells you. "help?"
and you fold.
his shoes still on and all, you climb over his lap, scooting down just enough to tug and pull at his belt. you're sitting just under his beaming erection, giving it a little push when you pull open his zipper. under you, he's covering his red face with his hand, moaning from your touch and presence alone. it's obscene - uncharacteristic. you love it.
"so pretty... pretty n soft... pretty, too. can't look at you or I'll wet my pants."
"you're crazy," you mumble, pulling his arm from his face and bringing it to yours to slip his finger between your lips. he gets the hint, taking control of his arm as he strokes over your chin, letting your fingers work your silk shirt away around your back.
he's dragging across the jagged edge of your teeth, pressing into your canines just to feel a bit of pain. if he opened his eyes, he'd short circuit, luckily he opens them as soon as you're dropping your shirt. then, you're showing all of you to all of him, and he can't do anything else but slap another hand over his eyes, whining dejectedly and blushed to the core.
"kento, look at me," you deadpan, tired enough to just roll over and sleep, but intrigued enough to keep pushing him.
"so hot."
you claw at his thick hand, nearly begging for his eyes to take you hostage. "hey."
"please... suck it..." he mutters, then stuffs his teeth with his fist, seething out sharp breaths as your fingertips find his skin just over his waistband. the request takes you back.
"you stopped when we got married... always wanted to ask you why but... please..."
you don't speak, you can feel more wet words on his tongue that you know he wants to say.
"please, baby girl... please, doll... the second I wake up 'm gonna buy you that silver necklace with my initial you've been wantin'... or I've been wantin' for you. just kiss 'm, please. so good..."
you have no idea what's he's going on about, but you like the sound of it. you like the sound of your nicknames twirling off his smooth, drunken tongue. so, you lean down to kiss them away, tasting the tang of drink on his supple skin.
he kisses you back just as eagerly, groping your chest in his hand as if it'd bring him down to earth again.
"i stopped because i don't think i'm very good at it." you laugh, taking it upon yourself to sit up and tug his briefs down past his hips. he's a mess - work clothes falling off the bone and you all over his face. he tastes like your chapstick now, and you catch little kitten licks poking from his lips just to study it.
"just kiss him like you're kissin' me."
then, you grab the base of his flushed cock, and he arches his back, a dramatic, uneasy 'ah-' coming from his throat. that really takes you aback - you've never heard such a noise come from your insanely composed spouse.
"don't... give it pronouns, weirdo."
"well, 's not a she."
and for the first time ever, you find yourself pressing your palm to his lips to shut him up. then, kissing over your knuckles, you watch his striking hazel eyes shiver and fall shut. you're so fucking in love it's crazy.
then you give him what he wants.
even though it feels unfamiliar, you drop your head, fist working his happy, dripping erection into oblivion as he whines and cries for you. it's when your lips kiss over the head, focusing your tongue in the slight dip, he cums. all over your face.
you're definitely taken aback, letting him have his moment, but you're so flushed and kinda agitated, yet always in love with him. he's a shaking, crying mess -- actually, crying tears. it's absurd. you'd remember this moment long after you've died.
even covered in cum, he still pulls you back, attacking your lips in a hot kiss you're not prepared for. seems like that release has him coming back to himself, because the grip he has on the back of your neck is not nice. you wouldn't be surprised, and you wouldn't mind, if you saw a bruise there in the morning.
when he comes to his senses, he pins you down face first into the mattress, kissing all over your neck and back as he fucks you lazily. he's so slow, it's serene. you can feel every dip of his cock, every vein as it drags against your sensitive, spasming walls. you both are so wet, begging for more, begging for each other.
it's how he makes you cum for him, with his sloppy, lazy ass thrusts and the wet kisses he leaves on your stained skin. there's cum drenched in these bedsheets, and if you weren't so fucked out and tired, you'd kick him out and call him inconsiderate.
tonight, you don't care. you fall asleep tucked under your man, barely able to breathe, let alone move. he'd suffocate you, at this rate.
but,
you don't care...
read part 2? <3
#hey so this is actually my favorite thing EVER#save me needinami#the layers... the pining... the chemistry... i fear i have outdone myself#can u tell i hate shoes in the house#.the wife guy!! <3#.nanami <3#.favs :o#jjk smut#nanami x reader#nanami smut#nanami kento x reader#husband nanami#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic
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#my stupid baka life#my art#dogman#petey the cat#dog man#detey#petey#lil petey#old man yaoi got to me i fear
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turns out uhaul gays are literally the opposite of uhaul lesbians. build a relationship for six years and then pack your shit up and move away.
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them
(timelapse below! making a commissions page soon for anyone interested - also print shop!)
#“zukka and hotsprings” we all say in unison#erisenyo's latest fic set me off i fear#zukka#atla#arting25#avatar the last airbender#zuko#sokka
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