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alluringoneirataxia · 4 years ago

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Long Winding Road Stay Strapped My Dude

By: Astoria Cathryn Andromeda

Alrighty, this is a long one boys. So I touched briefly on this in my Welcome to Literally Everything post. No worries I'll recap you, so you don't have to switch back and forth. I just diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and then ADHD when I was 18 years old, and even then I had to fight for it after countless hours of research. See, there seems to be a wee bit of misogyny in the neurodiverse diagnoses. When I say a wee bit, I mean that scientists used to think that only boy could be autistic or ADHD. They only studied autism in males. Fortunately, nowadays we know that girls can be autistic and/or ADHD, but we present the traits differently than boys, and a lot of our traits are played off due to gender roles in society. For example, being overly talkative in girls is called chatty, whereas boys who can't sit still are sent off for testing immediately. This also causes problems for the boys, because little Johnny gets put on Adderall at the ripe age of 6 years old, just because he can't sit still for 8 hours straight, which by the way should not be expected of any elementary school kid, By the time, he's 25 he's 1) completely dependent on amphetamines 2) his body will stop producing dopamine due to being on the medication for so long. Nicht Gut. Generally, boys who are on the spectrum get picked out earlier due to late speaking, or lack of social skills. This is the one thing that girls happen to do better than boys. Girls are good at masking, which is basically taking social traits, phrases, personalities, demeanor, and copying them. In public, they put on a mask and at home, they have a meltdown. Girls are still not picked up as being on the spectrum, because shyness is called being 'ladylike' and 'dainty', and having a meltdown is just because :( girls are oh-so emotional, boohoo. Anyways tons of women do not get diagnosed with autism until they are well into their adulthood, I actually can be considered lucky to have technically still been a teenager when we finally got all the pieces together.

Alright, let's start with I don't know me as a baby. I did not speak until I was 2 years old, and then it was immediately full sentences from then on. I didn't do the babbling thing, which I don't know how impactful that really is to the topic. I was a very shy little girl. I was teeny tiny, we didn't know I if I was going to make it to 5 feet tall until I had a big growth spurt in 7th grade. I am 5'2 now and definitely done growing in case you were wondering, so not that short anymore. I did not like talking to adults, especially strangers, especially men. I did not look anyone in the face, and I will always hide behind my parent's legs when they would try to introduce me to people. I am an only child, and I spent a lot of time entertaining myself. I always had seasonal affective disorder, where my grades would dip in the winter. My parents knew I had a timer, they had 45 minutes from the moment they stepped into a restaurant before I would start breaking down. If I got off schedule as a toddler in any form, it was a catastrophe. Or this is what my parents and family tell me. I didn't really notice. I did not like being out in public a lot, I was a very picky eater, and I was extremely hyper. I was a very eccentric child, I only had 1-2 close friends and they were always a very well-liked outgoing girl who I just followed around. Looking back, I don't know how we missed it. I was shy because I didn't understand how social interactions worked, I was anxious about it because I didn't understand, I had sensory overloads, routines, and a very bland diet with a safe food which was ketchup. I put that shit on literally everything, eas, apples, mac and cheese, pizza, all meat, anything something forced me to eat that I did not like. But because I could sit still in class, and because I could zone out and daydream all day through school and still make A's nobody ever flagged me for anything and how I was supposed to know that not everybody just copied other people, scripted things before they talked, and could never pay attention. My mom always required me to be in a sport, and I was a gymnast and a swimmer for a long time, two very high-intensity sports, to help lower my energy levels, and because my mom has mild depression and she knows that exercise does help. Skip to middle school, my mom tells me I'm being bullied at church. It's not that I wasn't observing my surroundings I knew I was being excluded, but I didn't understand vindictive behavior, I thought it was my fault. I had zero friends in 8th grade until I sat down next to a random acqutaince I had gone to school with since I was 4 and the same gymnastics place. Then we were immediately attached at the hip after that. She is my best friend due this day and definitely got me through high school. Led me through so many social situations without either of us knowing. I had a very close friendgroup in highschool, all of them were on the drumline which I met through my best friend, and my first boyfriend was my best friend's neighbor. I ended up playing bass guitar for my high school's indoor drumline, and it was the best experience ever. I love my friends, but I had really bad depression when I was 15-now:) jk It's better. I didn't really realize I was depressed, I just didn't want to go to school, or swim practice, or do anything so of course, my mom noticed, and then once it was pointed out to me it got worse. My severe anxiety spiraled with my depression. Senior year of high school, my boyfriend and I were like toxic star crossed lovers, hurting each other over and over again without meaning to. My friends and I were self harming, all my close friends gad some demon going on. I finally decided to try therapy again after the disaster of being forced to go when I was 15 and the lady told me I wasn't depressed because I had a boyfriend and good grades. It helped a bit, I was able to get my panic attacks under control. Then I went away to college and stayed dating my senior high school boyfriend, we were just up and down as always, but with slightly better communication. My freshman year of college I joined a fraternity, a research lab, and my first hs boyfriend/ex/best friend and I went to a Christian campus place. By second semester, I had a lot of people who knew me and talked to me, but I didn't have any close friends, and even less close friends who were girls. All my close friends who were girls were at another college. My parents were worried about me, so they made me rush a sorority, which I knew was never my scene, but my parents made me join and I found a few girls I liked. Soon I was going to 6 classes, fraternity chapter, research lab meetings, christain crash group meetings, soriorty pledge meetings all on every Tuesday. I was different person at each of these events and wore a different mask. I was having what I know now were autistic burnout meltdowns every single day on the phone in my crusty dorm's stairwell. It was not cute. His mental health had always been bad too. Finally I decide I need to try a psychatrist and go back to therapy, and then he broke up with me. Then I made my first close friend, a guy who was in 3 of classes, and I took him to my fraternity's formal, and then coronavirus happened. Rona kinda saved my grades, and mental health by sending us home event though it did suck. I got on anti-anxiety meds and things went up, but I was still having what I thought were panic attacks, they were austistic meltdowns. My psychiatrist, he's kinda an asshole, he diagnosed me with Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I'll insert definition here: (OCPD) is a personality disorder that's characterized by extreme perfectionism, order, and neatness. People with OCPD will also feel a severe need to impose their own standards on their outside environment.> Basically hr told me I had rules for everything like how everyone drives on the right side of the road, but nobodythinks about it andwhen I broke one of my rules I got depressed, and when wasn't perfect I got depressed, and when I made an A I was relieved not proud. The diagnosis seemed to fit really well, and my therapist and I started working finding my rules, and getting rid of the bad ones, and making the others less harsh. I had thought every once and in a while in my life when I was really upset, what if I'm on the spectrum, because I just felt so hopeless for social interactions and I didn't understand. I always felt like I was a very specific person, but after the ocpd I started thinking more and more, and I saw a tik tok of a girl with lae diagnosed autism basically describing me and ranting about the misogyny. I did more research and I decide, yea I'mm gonna bring it up to mypsychatrist well he's a dick, so he was like um you don't act like sheldon cooper from the Big Bang theory,and I was like wellI just I have always thought I might have adhd like be neureodiverse, and he was like your grade point average in hs was a 97.8%, you're not adhd. I immediately cried, because I can't handle when anyone says anything in a even a slightest stringent tone. I'm baby, I know lmao. It made me angry though because I felt like he just brushed away all of my struggles I had in my whole life. I spent hours researching and typed up a 47 page document on evidence for why I was on the spectrum, and had my parents help will some of checklists to make sure I was getting outside perspectives. I rally my parents to be my back up and next psychiatrist appointment we actually talk about it and he asked my parents questions about when I was young and such and finally he was okay you're on the spectrum. I felt so validated and like I could start being myself. I slowly got more and more confident, changed my style of clothing, and researched more about adhd pushed to be tested, and oh look at that I also have ADHD. So basically discourse: "I feel like as a child I coded a machine to do life for me so I didn’t get bothered except I didn’t know about the machine I thought i was the machine and now I’ve become self aware and I have to learn how to read the code and rewrite the code because it’s dysfunctional because I’m not functioning well as a human being. I was really shy as a child. I would turn beat red when people talked to me or looked at me so I think I started cookie cutting situations and using them over and over again because they worked until I accidentally hard wired these expansion rules and expectations for myself. I didn’t may attention is class ever I just day dreamed and if I got good grades i wouldn’t be bothered i could just stay in my head and if I did my sport well my parents didn’t bother me. I was never asked if I did my homework I just did it so I wouldn’t be asked and have to deal with that situation. I would cookie cutter situations in class that would draw the least attention to myself.

I feel like i don’t have friends I just fulfill the expectation like a side quest on video games" I wrote this down pre autism confirmation when i just thought I had ocpd. Now I don't directly identify with ocpd, but I definitely think I developed that personality disorder a bit from living with undiagnosed autism. I am linking below the very informative Tik Toks by the lovely Paige on autism in girls. The imposter syndrome one really hit home. I had had so many panic attacks about thinking I tricked people into being my friend, or thinking I was smart.

I highly suggest watching these short tik toks, you'll definitely learn something

https://vm.tiktok.com/wVvcYA/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqRRUf/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnqhvX/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqeyYg/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnoE7u/

https://vm.tiktok.com/Kas6gB/

https://vm.tiktok.com/owM9hs/

Imposter syndrome

I am also linking an article about Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and Autism that explains why my psychiatrist was wrong, and also I am a girl and the spectrum is called a spectrum because it's a fucking spectrum no two autistic people are exactly the same it's like a color wheel.

http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/problem-sheldon-cooper-and-cute-autism-387783

Here is a fun comic about the spectrum and how to view it.

https://the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

I am still learning about myself, and how to be me, and how to be myself but without breaking bad social rules. It's quite humorous though because I'll learn something is related to autism and I'm like oh shit again, like still, like, we're still discovering things.

"Tu ne me manques pas"

Bis später,

Astoria.

#asd #autisminwomen #autism #actuallyautistic #aspie #aspie memes

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rigelmejo · 4 years ago

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random notes about drawbacks/positives of mia:

My biggest incompatibility with the massive immersion approach (and in general a lot of good modern study methods) is I hate flashcards. It’s not that I dislike them as a concept - I am just super bad at concentrating on them. I am NOT good at doing the following: focusing on small bits of information, studying for short periods but Regularly, Reviewing Regularly, and sometimes I just genuinely can’t retain small concentrated reading sentences to the point it takes me 10 MINUTES a flashcard in order to understand/study it. As you can imagine, that last part is NOT efficient, and ends up making flashcards even slower for me as a study method then they’re ever meant to be. I can’t control when I’m unable to figure out/concentrate on small bits of information, so some months flashcards work as intended for me (I can review 10-20 in 10 minutes), but other months suddenly 10 flashcards takes me an hour. So I am not good at sticking to flashcards consistently - once the hard months hit, I don’t keep up with reviews, because they suddenly take way more time then they ‘should.’ However, when I can focus I try to make up the difference - and do 20-100 cards a day while I have the ability to do flashcards at a regular pace. On the upside, I’m proof you can do the SRS flashcard reviews, in a very chaotic way, and still get benefits. How I’ve done flashcards: cram 300-1000 in a couple weeks to a month, including whatever reviews I need. 2nd month - review if I can still focus, and do a few new cards (like 5-15 a day at most). By the time I can’t focus, most words are relatively-known and I only would need to review them once a week or every few weeks - if I COULD focus on reviews. However, I only actually review once a month or less at this point - and I’ll only review 20ish cards usually in that rare instance, unless I have a good day. I will not usually review the majority of those cards until my next burst of can-focus-on-flashcards usually in 2-3 more months. I have done all my flashcards THIS INCONSISTENTLY, and I’ve still retained a lot of what I studied. What I think helps: immersing in other content when you can’t do flashcards, so that you’re often still being exposed to words you studied (so they’re easier to not forget even though you stopped doing flashcards). So yeah... inconsistent flashcards, and some immersion exposure, and I was able to keep some of the gains SRS flashcards generally provide people. I can’t do flashcards consistently, and I usually have to do them in big-chunks then abandon them, but they do help me boost up how much I know when I DO use them.

More regarding my incompatibility with mia. The big thing is: I’m just not a flashcard person, not a consistent person. I have to vary what I’m doing regularly, or I burn out/struggle to focus. When I was in school, I would do the following to study: take notes/focus intently when being taught, then read the textbook/materials if I needed more help. Before tests, or to ‘review’ I would reread my notes from beginning to end of what I needed to remember. This would refresh my memory. If I still forgot/did not understand anything, I’d pinpoint that info in the book/ask my teacher/go online etc and try to just focus most of my ‘harder’ studying on those parts I was struggling with. Usually just taking notes/focusing, then reviewing everything in bulk right before I needed it (so maybe once every few weeks), was enough. When I couldn’t take notes, I would instead skim through book chapter summaries, and rewatch lecture videos if there was a digital copy - focusing most on the videos when info I forgot/sounded like key information was mentioned. Basically - notes, summaries, short cheat sheets, were all my friends. For tests like math and physics, I would read my notes AND make mini-sheets of all key formulas and how to do them/what I needed for them (usually I already had a sheet I just kept adding to over time/rereading). I could not use flashcards back then - I couldn’t focus, not consistently, not the way they’re meant to be used. It took me too long to even make them to warrant them being useful to me (I take SO long to make flashcards, its also a focus issues - also why when I do SRS flashcards I usually just grab some premade deck cause it keeps me MOVING and actually STUDYING instead of getting frozen in a task).

This has always been my go-to study method. When I started chinese, this is how I learned 400 characters/basic words. I bought a reference book with mnemonics, and would make myself read through it (as if it were notes I took). Occasionally I’d flip through old pages again, just to see if I still recognized old stuff, but mostly I just kept moving forward. So like - flip back every couple weeks to skim old pages, but read forward every day. I got through half the book before I burned out (because... reference books with their short entries of information? a lot like flashcards in structure, except thankfully I don’t regularly review afterwards like I would with flashcards). It still took me 10-20 minutes for 10 entries in the book, but unlike flashcards it was a one-time task. When I got done, I had learned them pretty well - and I didn’t do anything to review them. They were just reviewed with immersion naturally, and eventually when I started studying common words these characters came up again (so if I forgot any, I relearned them easier then). This approach is roughly how I learned all words not in my premade-flashcard decks. I’ll read a chinese book - just start reading through it, looking up words I want to learn. I don’t review them, I don’t look them up again. Sometimes, maybe once a month, I’ll reread an old chapter to see what progress I’ve made - and then lookup unknown words then, as review since I didn’t remember them the first time. It sucks in a way... that SRS flashcard style study methods just.... do not work consistently for me. They are still beneficial, because in short month bursts I can quickly learn 500-1000 things with SRS (which is faster than some classes introduce words). But overall I have to rely on other study methods. Which for me feel inconsistent in progress since I can’t measure it as easy lol! Even with no SRS, doing ‘bursts’ of this read-intensively note-like materials, then very occasionally skim old material again, does seem to work out okay for me. Back when I learned to read french, I did no flashcards. I looked up a common words list (and used my class vocabulary lists). I read through them once. Before tests (if for class), or every few weeks, I re-read/skimmed the word lists. By 3-4 months I learned the first 500 words. Then, since french has a lot of ‘similar’ sort of words, I just sort of dived into reading and then picked up words mostly that way - just checking a word list every month or so to review known words and make sure I didn’t have some big gap of missing vocabulary.

So I guess: for me the biggest positive in mia is the suggestion to immerse often, frequently, and with a variety of materials. So that you practice different skills, learn a variety of things - and so you can move to something you like, if you get bored/unable to focus on one specific type of material. With mia you can read novels for a month, then get sick of reading and just watch shows/listen to podcasts when you walk, then if you’re burnt out from that you can just browse social media and check out fanfics/manhua/friends posts in the language for a few days or weeks before picking up longer materials again. The point is just to find ways to immerse, and do it. Simple advice. SUPER simple advice. But incredibly useful - every single time I add more immersion, I notice a boost in my comprehension. I notice actual improvement over time. I can’t pinpoint ‘why’ it happens, so unfortunately I’m not sure which complementary study methods or ways of immersing are helping me precisely with improvement in which skills. But I can tell that I am improving. I would 100% agree that immersing more is worth trying, at any language learning stage, as much as you want to. I immersed in the first months in both french and chinese, and I did much better than with japanese (where I did not immerse for 2 years and so my level stayed A1 beginner for like 2 years...). My French last time it was tested was around B1, which is fine since I just wanted to read and guess where my skills are closer to A2 and dragging it down? (Yes. Yes of course its speaking ability, of course). My chinese as far as I can pinpoint it is around HSK 4, as far as material I can easily read/listen to, as far as the practice tests I can take online. (Which, again, I’d self evaluate and say my comprehension is at HSK 4 or higher - I definitely can rely on good ability to guess meanings with hanzi and my comfort following grammar easily to boost comprehension a bit higher, but my speaking/writing is lower and I definitely only feel totally comfortable discussing topics that are manageable at HSK 3 - and my production grammar-wise is understandable but SO full of ‘this is the wrong way, use this instead’ which I’m working on...). So like... I got much farther in a year with each language I immersed in - even with the limited immersion I do actually do! So more immersion - better. While I’m on the topic of immersion: if you like reading, read often and early. I am better off for telling myself “its not hard to read” and just diving in the deep end. Was it hard? ahahaha yes. ;w; But, I realize if I’d put off reading until say HSK 4 or HSK 5 knowledge in chinese, reading would be EVEN HARDER because I’d be so much worse at quickly reading through grammar/gathering context clues. Reading is a mix of actual reading skill, and vocab. I built up a lot of the actual reading skill by starting to try to read super early. So now my main struggle is generally just lack of vocabulary - and since I understand all surrounding grammar very well, its easier for me to roughly-guess at unknown words function and still follow the gist of what’s going on. Reading early also means, for words and hanzi I DO already know, I learned to recognize the many contexts/phrases they show up in and the various words they combine into earlier. So again, when I’m looking at a new text the hardest words are new vocab made of ALL unknown hanzi - if I know one hanzi in the word, it’s something I can often approximately guess the meaning of especially when I understand the entire rest of the sentence. If a new word is spelled with all known hanzi, I can look it up once or twice and generally remember it very fast - since its connected to what I already know. If I had waited to read until I’d learned more vocab, I would have less of a reading skill foundation to rely on right now. And based on what I’ve read of at least some people’s experiences on chinese-forums.com, many readers will go through a STEEP uncomfortable period when starting to read chinese. Something vocab does not totally mitigate. I think it just takes many hours, of the reading skills getting less and less hard, and then eventually things get more comfortable. There is also the issue of ‘comprehensible’ reading material - depending on your tolerance for ambiguity, chinese can be painfully incomprehensible for a long time. Generally people feel comfortable once they comprehend 98% of a material. But in chinese, even once you learn thousands of vocab, depending on your reading skills and abilities to ‘guess from context clues’, you will not be at 98% yet. Even if you can guess from context clues, that isn’t solid comprehension its still ambiguously understood material. So to get used to reading chinese as a learner, you have to start getting used to how it feels to read stuff only 80% comprehensible. Only 90% comprehensible. And if you get good and learn a lot of vocab and grammar and understand it better when you see it - 95%. Which is still not the range of ‘comfort’ yet. The quicker you learn to not be stressed by the ambiguity, the less painful reading becomes. And the more tolerable it is, the more you can read, and the quicker you can learn more, and the quicker you’ll REACH 95% to 98% comprehensibility. But if its so painful you refuse to keep reading, to keep using reading to push comprehensibility up... it is going to be a long way until you hit 98%... Graded readers are great, and give you stepping stones to transition this experience. Graded readers are MADE to be 98% comprehensible at different learning levels, so they will FEEL comfortable. And if they do feel uncomfortable (because you don’t have high enough comprehension), then they will at least drag your comprehension up - and still be more tolerable than the alternative of even LESS comprehensible native speaker chinese language materials. Basically though... find a way to force yourself through the harder ‘intolerable’ early parts. It happens whether you know 500 words or 2000. So you’ll have to do it eventually. I get demotivated if I’ve ‘studied a lot and still understand nothing’ so my foolish self dived off the deep end at 500 words, then at 1000, then at 1500, then at 2000. Cause I kept trying to read, being frustrated at its difficulty and stopping after a few weeks, then trying again once I’d learned more! But wow did that early trying pay off. Now that I DO know more words, if nothing else the comparison of how NICE it feels to read now in comparison to in the past, motivates me a ton. If I just started reading recently, and all I knew was it felt ‘this hard’ then I might want to give up. But like... when I started, and knew 500 words, my graded readers were PAINFUL. Genuinely intimidating. Once I pushed through one? They felt easy as pie, and graded readers at that vocab-level felt so easy they got boring. Now I find graded HSK 4 material and usually read through it super fast or don’t even bother. So I can 1. read more comfortably. And 2. because I’ve BUILT up a higher tolerance to ‘ambiguity discomfort’ I can allow myself to read harder materials if I do want to - because I can still TELL it feels easier than it used to.

Finally, about MIA the study method as a concept. So... either because the site is long and people don’t like to finish reading, or maybe the writer is not good at summaries - but people often get confused about how to do it. Particular detail questions about how to do ‘this specific suggested activity’ make sense. But there’s a lot of people who ask “do I just turn on the language shows, and?? How do I learn?” Which, fair enough. So, as I understand it, here’s a summary: You want to learn a language. Find yourself a grammar guide - a free website, a book, whatever. Read the summary/guide, or skim it, whatever gives you a ‘preview’ of the language’s structure and what you’ll be getting used to over time. You will use this guide to reference later in the future, whenever grammar in stuff you see confuses you. You can use multiple guides later to reference. Right now, just zoom through a guide and get a general sense of the language you’re abut to learn. You can also wait to do this step until later, whenever you want. The sooner you do it, the sooner grammar will be less mysterious to you. Find yourself a pronunciation guide. Go through it, you don’t have to be a perfectionist about ANYTHING you do before or after this. Just go through, listen to it all, try to notice how its different from your own language. Notice if there’s any major differences like tones, sounds or patterns your own language doesn’t have. You don’t need to memorize, you’re just becoming aware that these aspects exists and are different. Again, this is to get you used to the language you’re about to dive into. This should probably be done early on. Look up some info about the writing system, if it is different from your own language’s. You will probably find some explanation introductory articles for beginners. If there’s any explanations about how it works, or why it’s like it is, read through it. This will help you understand the system better. You don’t need to memorize - although you may want to save a couple hundred common words, or a copy of all the letters, or a copy of a couple hundred common characters, or a copy of the radicals that combine to make characters. Read over this copied info a few times every once in a while, as you’ll see these things a TON once you start immersing. You find yourself a premade deck of SRS flashcards (use Memrise app, Anki program/website, some alternative) of common words in that language - ideally in sentences, but single-words work if that’s all you can find. Ideally with audio - but again, whatever you can find. You may also find an SRS deck of characters (like Heisig Remember the Kanji)/writing system specific info, if you want, to go through that deck early on to help you more with recognizing the writing system as you encounter it. Whatever decks you get, you will study those for 10-30 minutes a day. You can start doing this from day 1. (Or be like me and be inconsistent about it - just try to keep progressing forward and learning new material, even if you don’t always study. For me it was better always to move onto new stuff, instead of review, if I only had time to do one out of the two things.) Find yourself stuff to immerse with - shows, stories, audios, comics, social media, whatever. You will try to immerse every day, and try to immerse as much as you enjoy. Do this from day 1. When immersing: use either the language you are studying’s subtitles or else none at all. When watching/listening - look up words as desired, mainly though focus on context and trying to understand as much of the gist of what’s going on as you can. Over time you will pick things up. For reading - look up words as desired, and in the beginning you may look up a TON of words because you need to look up at least enough to follow the Bare Minimum Gist of What The Main Plot is. You NEED to understand at least basic context, with whatever your immersion material is, in order to learn new words from context. So: you might start with reading simple graded readers. You might use shows/books/audio of things you’ve already experienced in english, so the context is clearer to you. You might read summaries in english ahead of time. If you need more context in order to use immersion to learn any new things - then go ahead and give yourself more context. Immersion will feel difficult at first, the joy is watching you start to just ‘naturally’ pick up more. Audio immersion - for some of this, you do not need to attempt to ‘understand the gist of the plot’, you can just use it to attempt to pick out all the specific words in the language, the language’s rhythm, and get used to the language. If you’re only using an audio to learn the sounds of a language, you can probably use it as ‘background sound’ while doing other daily things, since it won’t require as constant focus as it would if you were trying to catch every single word you knew as you listened. There you go. You’re all set. Do this for a year and see where your progress is at. Quit doing this if you aren’t seeing some improvements, since if that’s the case a different study method may be better for you. Don’t do this method if you don’t like it - whatever gets you to study, is the right methods for you. No point doing something that doesn’t work for you. Eventually, as you make progress, you will decide on goals and notice mistakes/shortcomings in your skills. When that happens, add additional study materials/tasks as needed to focus specifically on those things as desired. For example - if you notice your pronunciation sucks, you may start using audio-focused flashcards, or go through a pronunciation guide again more carefully-thoroughly this time. Or - you realize your writing is bad, so you go through a grammar guide again and do the exercises, and get language partners and write to them regularly so that you get corrections. Eventually, you finish a common word flashcard deck - find a new deck, or make one, with new words you want to learn or need to based on your goals. The massive immersion approach is a basic plan of immerse-while-paying-attention+study new words/review words regularly, it doesn’t include every single thing you might do or want to do.

Anyway, mm. tldr: massive immersion approach suggests doing immersion of all kinds, from day 1. I couldn’t agree more, every time I add more immersion when studying a language it helps so significantly and over time. however, mia also has half of it’s study method based on SRS flashcards - if you are not a flashcard person like me, my alternative study ‘method’ above works. It’s not perfect, its probably not as effective. But it works if you can’t focus on SRS flashcards reliably. Finally, I summarize mia a little.

#rant #study method #mia #mass immersion approach

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smkkbert · 5 years ago

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We ended as Lovers (6/12)

Summary: Three years ago, Felicity’s life was perfect. She was offered a job at two great companies. Her boyfriend just started his own fashion label, and they picked a perfect apartment to live in together. The more heartbroken she was when Oliver got cold feet and it all ended. Now, Felicity is coming back to Starling City, well aware that she is destined to run into her ex-boyfriend there. While old feelings revive quickly, the pain still goes deep. Besides, for some reason Oliver seems to be angry with her.

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 or read on Ao3

* * *

Chapter 6: Run-Away-Shoes

When the elevator arrived at the topmost floor, Felicity straightened her spine and put her shoulders back. Here in the executive elevator of the company, she felt powerful. She was in her element when she just got to be a business woman. Talking about her work and working itself made her feel safe and strong.

As soon as the doors opened, Felicity stepped out and turned towards the desk at the other end of the long hall. This time, it wasn’t Robert Queen himself but his assistant sitting there. She was busy typing on her computer, but she had the time to look Felicity up and down over the rim of her glasses at least briefly.

There had been a time when Felicity would have been unsettled by the way Robert’s EA looked at her. She would have felt the need to hunch her shoulders and lower her gaze, making her smaller than she really was. Her hands would have fumbled nervously, probably playing with her ponytail if they hadn’t found anything else to occupy themselves with. A deep blush would have spread on her cheeks and traveled down her neck to where the flush would cover her chest like flecks.

That was different today. She had so many friends, Sara and Lena in particular, who brimmed over with self-confidence. They stepped into a room and owned it instantly just through their presence. Heads turned in their directions, and they were just taken seriously because of how they presented themselves. It had always baffled Felicity, so she had decided to take a page from their book and work on her appearance.

The thought made her smile now as she had proven more than once that she was someone who should be taken seriously too. Although the world of technology still wasn’t easy on women, at least in the managing positions, she wasn’t easily overlooked.

The sound of her heels on the marble floor sounded like music as she crossed the large room towards Robert’s EA. In the tight black skirt, the gallant blouse and pink blazer, she knew she looked exactly like the successful businesswoman she was. Still, she felt utterly comfortable. She knew those were the best conditions for a successful afternoon.

If everything worked out the way Felicity hoped, she and Robert would be able to agree on the terms of their collaboration and maybe even sign the contract today. She had sent Robert a first proposal for the contract earlier this week. If she was really lucky, he would agree to it the way she was. Usually, there were changes demanded, so she wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same this time.

“Ms. Smoak,” Robert’s EA said when Felicity stepped to her desk, “you can go right in. Mr. Queen is already waiting for you.”

“Thank you.”

Felicity flashed the EA a smile, thinking about how easily she could have ended up on the front desk of a man too if her talent had been overlooked. Thanks to her decision to go to Gotham City and work for Bruce Wayne, she had met the right people. That way she had made her way to the top of her own company that she shared with two equally talented and devoted women.

Even before Felicity got to knock at the glass door to Robert’s office, he lifted his gaze. A wide smile spread across his lips when he saw her. Pushing aside whatever papers he had been reading in until now, he got up and walked around the desk to approach her.

“Felicity,” he said softly, spreading his arms, “it’s so great to see you.”

He put his hands to her upper arms, pulling her a little closer to hug her. Although his arms were strong and felt like he wanted to hold her there for a long time, he let go of her rather quickly. Moving back, he held her for a moment longer and just smiled at her.

“If everything goes the way we have planned, we might be able to see each other a lot more in the future,” Felicity replied, “you have to visit me in Hub City.”

“I am looking forward to that.” Robert let go of her and gestured to the seating area with the two more than comfortable looking leather couches instead of his desk. “It’s been a while since I have been in Hub City the last time. I think it’s been in 2018. I would love to go back there though, especially for that small Indonesian restaurant on the harbor.”

“You mean Mekanan?” Felicity asked, sitting down on the leather couch to realize that it was just as comfortable as it looked. “I love it there. Guntur and Merpati are very dear friends of mine. I don’t even have to order anymore. They just know what I want.”

“Then I guess you understand why I want to go back there too.”

“Absolutely.” Felicity chuckled. “It’s my favorite restaurant.”

Robert made a short detour to the small kitchenette, getting them some coffee. That man just knew that she couldn’t work until caffeine was rushing through her veins.

“Apart from the good food, I am interested to see what Helix Dynamics looks like,” Robert explained, “I have seen so many companies, and I always think that the style of a company’s building says a lot about the people responsible for the company.”

Felicity puckered her lips, taking a quick look around to compare Robert’s style with the style they had established at Helix Dynamics. “Less marble, more wood?”

Robert chuckled. “Down-to-earth.”

“Hm.” Felicity puckered her lips, cocking her head. “Do you think that’s a bad thing?”

“Absolutely not.” Robert shook his head firmly, handing Felicity one of the mugs and sitting down on the other. He took a sip of the hot liquid, taking a thorough look around. “If I could design this building once more, I would do a lot of things differently.”

Felicity couldn’t hide her surprise. Robert had always looked utterly content when he was in here like it was exactly where he belonged and how he wanted things to be. Of course the company was quite different than his home, but both of them were furnished elegantly and luxuriously for sure. She didn’t even dare to guess the worth of all the furniture in his office alone.

“I think the sudden success of Queen Consolidated blinded me for a while,” Robert added with a soft smile, shrugging his shoulders, “I made those first millions so quickly that I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I just didn’t have that many concurrents because a lot of people were still shying away from this branch, thinking it wouldn’t offer long-term success. When this building was set up, I thought I was creating my mark with it. Hence, I made sure it showed exactly how successful the company is.”

“And now?” Felicity asked. “What would you do now?”

“I would make sure that it’s a good place to work at. It’s important that employers feel comfortable. They need efficient workplaces with short distances between the departments as well as possibilities to refuge during their breaks. If employers don’t do their part in making sure that employees stay healthy, they have no right to complain later.”

If Felicity had ever doubted why Robert had been her role model lately, this was the best reminder she could have been given. As demanding as Robert could be, he wasn’t reckless. He took good care of his employees, and he always searched for ways to become a better boss. It was a pity that too many companies were managed by people that were just greedy for profit, not matter the cost.

She was glad that she and Robert got to exchange a few private words before they turned towards business. Felicity liked to know more about the people she worked with. She already knew a lot about him, but it was still the same, especially since they were much more on the same level now.

Smiling at Robert, she took a sip of her coffee. In the meantime, Robert cleared his throat, put his mug down and reached out for the contracts she had sent him.

“Now, let’s get to business,” he said, “I am sure your time is precious.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t have many plans for today. I promised Thea to come by later, but that’s about everything I am planning to do today.”

“Sara’s and Nyssa’s dress are going to be fitted today, right?”

Putting her mug down, Felicity nodded her head. She shouldn’t be surprised that Robert knew since most occasions regarding the wedding were taking place in his home. Although she knew that, she was still surprised. She remembered that Oliver had always said that his father wasn’t taking much interest in his children’s life, so why should he remember the fittings?

Felicity had always wondered if maybe Oliver’s picture of his father had just been tainted by the fact that Robert had been quite hard to him at times. Admittedly, with the stories Felicity had heart about Oliver’s youth, he might have needed strict limits, but Oliver had always felt like he wasn’t enough for his father. He felt like he was pushed in the direction of taking over Queen Consolidated one day when that had been something he had never wanted.

“Yes.” Felicity smiled, guessing that Robert might have changed. “I already heard a lot about the dresses, but I am very excited to see them now.”

Robert nodded before he turned the conversation back to the contract. Handing the papers to her, he said, “The contract is fair. I discussed it with the board, and we can generally accept the terms of collaboration.”

“But?”

“But,” Robert repeated pointedly, smiling at the fact that she had known a but would come, “our lawyers suggest two little changes. I hand wrote them to the margin on page four and page eighteen.”

Felicity browsed through the papers until she found them. Queen Consolidates wasn’t really changing anything about the deal. The suggestions were much more meant to clarify some of the terms Helix Dynamics had written down.

“I have to double check this with Lena and Lily as well as our lawyers,” Felicity said, closing the papers, “but between you and me I say that we will probably agree.”

“I am glad to hear that.” Robert smiled genuinely. “Paperwork is just the worst.”

“Oh, you are saying.” Felicity chuckled, putting the papers away to grab her mug of coffee once more. “I love to be in a powerful position because, ultimately, that is where the most important decisions are being made, and I can still work in our laboratories whenever I want because I am the freaking boss. I think I would love being in charge even more if it wasn’t linked to so much paperwork.”

“I never really got used to do it either. Elaine, my EA, has to remind me to work on all the paperwork that piles up on my desk at least once a week.”

“I’m glad I am not the only one with that trouble.”

She raised her mug to Robert with a low chuckle before she took the last sips from her coffee. It definitely was better then the dishwater she had been offered on the plane. The coffee was just great.

“I am going to get myself a brandy to celebrate this joint project,” Robert said and emptied his mug of coffee too, “can I get you one too?”

“Will you think less of me if I tell you that I don’t like it?”

“Not at all.” Robert smiled. “Is there anything else I can offer you? A glass of wine, water, more coffee?”

“The latter would be nice,” Felicity replied, “but I can help myself with that.”

“Gladly.” Robert gestured towards the kitchenette. “Feel free to treat yourself with as much coffee as you like to.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t say that.” With a chuckle, Felicity got up and strolled towards the kitchenette. “If I get good coffee, I might never leave.”

“I think I could handle that.”

Felicity released a doubting hum. She was sure that living together with her or even just having her as a permanent guest was quite exhausting. Felicity still had no idea how Sara had managed to live with her for so long.

With their drinks, Felicity and Robert met back on the couches. They both leaned back and just enjoyed their drinks of choice in quiet.

“Sara told me that you will pay for the wedding and everything.”

Robert smiled, nodding his head. For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. He just took some sips of his brandy. Felicity could see in his eyes that he was thinking about what he could possibly tell her in response to this.

“Barely anyone knew that, but Quentin and I used to be friends when we were younger,” Robert said eventually, releasing a deep sigh, “we just took quite different paths in our life and lost sight of each other for a long time.”

“That’s life,” Felicity said quietly. “It’s sad, but it’s life.”

“Yes, I guess that’s true.” Robert nodded his head. “When someone you knew and have been friends with dies, it just prompts you to take a look at your life. I wondered what I would want and need if I died, and all I could think of was my family. I would want someone to watch out for my family. So that is what I am trying to do for Sara.”

Felicity smiled sadly. She knew how terrible Quentin Lance’s death had been for Sara, but she also knew that she had found a lot of comfort with the Queen Family. She got to spend the holidays with them, was invited to fancy dinners for her birthday and was just included in their family life. Felicity wasn’t sure if Sara knew about this backstory, but it was nice either way.

“I know that paying for the wedding is not really what taking care of someone means, but I felt like it should be part of it.” Robert took another sip from his brandy before he chuckled. “Besides, who knows if I will ever be allowed to play host for another wedding.”

“No hope for your own children?”

“I don’t know.” Robert sighed, shrugging his shoulders. “I think Thea would feel like a captured wild animal if she was getting married. She loves to be free and go wherever she wants to. She loves with her whole heart, but she lives a hundred percent in the moment. I don’t think that she will risk losing that. I wish her nothing else but everything she wants in her life, so, if she does want to get married, I hope she finds the right person. I wouldn’t be surprised if she never gets married and just dumps whoever proposes to her.”

Felicity puckered her lips. She wasn’t sure if that was really true. She could see Thea getting married because, as wild as Thea was, she was also a romantic. Felicity just doubted that she would ever get married to someone who lived in the same quarters as Robert, Moira and their friends. Thea needed someone who was just as wild as she was.

“And Oliver,” Robert said with a sigh, “well, you know how he is.”

That did indeed not need any further explanations. A short glance at the tabloids, and that sentence explained itself for anyone who didn’t know what exactly that was supposed to mean. Besides, who would bear his moodiness and broodiness permanently?

“Unfortunately, yes,” Felicity mumbled, “all too well.”

Robert looked at Felicity intensely. He had his eyes narrowed slightly, and Felicity could see that he considered asking more about this. Since they had basically come to an understanding about this collaboration already, he probably thought that she wouldn’t feel too uncomfortable if he asked about this now.

Quickly, Felicity changed the subject because she would feel uncomfortable if she was asked about this. It didn’t even matter who would ask her about this. She just didn’t want to talk about Oliver or their break-up, especially after these last days since she had returned to Starling City.

“The rehearsal dinner is taking place tomorrow,” she hurried to say, “so if there is any help you need, I am here. I didn’t really do much as the maid of honor.”

“Thea took care of everything else gladly. I think you did her a favor with leaving her in charge of everything. Organizing fancy occasions like that is just her thing. All that matters is that you are here now. I can say that it means the world to Sara that you did.”

“I think she would have killed me if I hadn’t come, or at least she would have taken a flight to Hub City and kick me all the way through the US until I arrived in Starling.” Felicity chuckled. “Since her mother and sister are coming to the rehearsal dinner and wedding too, I am sure she needs the backup now more than ever.”

Robert nodded his head. “Family reunions like that are always hard. I mean they haven’t really talked out what has happened, but they all have to pull themselves together because not inviting her Dinah and Laurel to the wedding would have just put a dark shadow over the occasion. I have no idea what exactly has gone down between the three Lance-Women, but it’s obvious that there are still a lot of hard feelings involved. Sadly. I think a family should always stick together.”

Felicity nodded her head, thinking back to her own family. They weren’t sticking together either. At least they hadn’t stuck together since her father had left. He had destroyed the family because, in a lot of ways, he had been the link between Felicity and her mother. They just didn't have as much in common.

If her father came back now, Felicity knew that it wouldn’t fix anything though. The way he had just left them overnight without as much as saying goodbye made him undeserving of any trust or any forgiveness. Felicity was proud enough to not take him back when he finally remembered that he had a daughter, although she knew that seeing him again would be incredibly hard for him.

“Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out.”

* * *

Since Felicity had spent a lot more time at Queen Consolidated than she had thought she would, just chatting with Robert like they were old friends, she didn’t bother to go back to her hotel room. She would barely be there before she had to leave already to make it in time for Sara’s dress fitting. Hence, she took a direct path from Queen Consolidated to the Queen Mansion.

She parked her car at the edge of the broad driveway in front of the Queen Mansion right behind an all too familiar motorcycle that told her that Oliver was already here too. Felicity could just hope that she would only meet him in the room for the dress fitting. When Sara was around, maybe they would be able to pull themselves together enough to not get into another fight or have sex again.

Shaking her head, Felicity pushed those thoughts away. She had managed not to think about Oliver at all today, or at least not more than was natural when you spend half a day with that person’s father. She didn’t want anything to change that.

“Only a couple more days,” Felicity whispered to herself, getting out of the car, “only three more days.”

She would have to get through this dress fitting today. She would have to sit through that rehearsal dinner tomorrow, making sure Sara wouldn’t clash with her mother and sister over old issues. She would attend that wedding the day after tomorrow, being the best maid of honor that she could be for Sara. She would probably have a hangover the day after which wouldn’t make the flight more bearable, but she didn’t care. She hadn’t wanted to spend even a single day more than necessary in Starling City.

Stepping in front of the door, Felicity lifted her fist to knock. Soon enough, she remembered that the front door was barely ever locked. She guessed that the Queens felt safe enough with the security men that guarded the gates at the end of the driveway, making sure that only selected people got access to the property.

With a shrug of her shoulders, Felicity opened the door and wasn’t the least bit surprised that Thea was already waiting for her at the foot of the stairs. The security guards had certainly told her that Felicity had arrived. Tiptoeing into the Queen Mansion without being noticed was just impossible she guessed.

Thea beamed at Felicity, crossing the distance towards her and pulling her into a hug. Although she didn’t say a word, Felicity could almost feel that Thea was already thinking about the day Felicity would go back to Hub City. Seeing each other again after the last three years, had reminded both of them that they were friends. Neither of them wanted three more years to pass before they saw each other again, but it wasn’t easy to stay updated on each other’s lives when they were living so many miles apart.

Neither of them said anything about that though. They still had a couple of days to spend together, and thanks to the tasks they shared when it came to the wedding, they would spend a lot of time together. Focusing on Sara and Nyssa’s wedding was what they had to do.

Linking her arm with Thea’s, Felicity let her friend lead her into the Queen living room. Nothing about the spacious room reminded of the party that had taken place here only yesterday. Still, the usual structure of the living room hadn’t been restored. Instead, a large table for twenty people had been set up.

“I am sure your mother is happy when the living room is hers again, isn’t she?”

“Maybe.” Thea grinned. “I love to drive her nuts by besieging it though.”

Felicity smiled, squeezing Thea’s arm. She knew that Thea loved her mother and the other way around, but the two Queen Women were so damn different that it wasn’t always easy between them. That Moira had decided to dedicate all her time to Oliver’s career hadn’t made it easier.

“Is there anything I can do for the rehearsal dinner?” Felicity asked. “Is there anything that still has to be done?”

“No, I think I’ve got everything handled,” she said, nodding her head slowly, “but if there is anything you can do, I will tell you.”

“Good.” Felicity glanced at her watch. “When will Sara be here? Her fitting is the first, right?”

“Yes, Nyssa is only coming later.” Thea nodded her head. “Sara’s already upstairs in my room though. We had to accelerate the appointment a little bit… for reasons I can’t even say.”

“In that case, I will go right upstairs.”

“I have to make a phone call,” Thea said, gesturing with her phone, “but you know where my room is. Just go ahead. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

Felicity flashed her a smile, nodding her head. She squeezed Thea’s arm once more before she turned around and went ahead just like they had agreed on.

On the way down the hallway where Thea’s bedroom was located, Felicity felt her heart starting to race. She was nervous because she liked wedding dresses, and she knew how beautiful Sara would look in hers. She might actually make her cry.

That wasn’t the only thing that made her nervous though. Felicity knew that, if she stepped into Thea’s room, she’d see Oliver again. If he hadn’t let anyone else help fitting her dress for the maid of honor, she certainly wouldn’t let anyone fit the wedding dresses. The first meeting after their first slip had been awkward already, so she was sure that it would be even worse after last night, especially with their fight.

In front of Thea’s bedroom, Felicity took in a deep breath. She would just focus on Sara and completely ignore Oliver. After all, she had come here to support Sara and not to bring even more trouble into this wedding.

Felicity knocked at the door softly and was immediately asked to come in. She opened the door and stepped inside. Felicity felt her breath getting stuck in her throat the moment she saw Sara standing on a small pedestal in her wedding dress. Just like she had assumed, because Sara had a phenomenal sense for fashion and Oliver, as little as she might think of him as a person, was a great designer, Sara looked incredibly beautiful.

The dress was made of white silk. It fitted her slim figure tightly until her upper thighs where the fabric started falling loosely into a short train. The deep V-neckline emphasized Sara’s back, and the playful peplum. Otherwise, the back of the dress was made of a half-transparent fabric that allowed everyone to see Sara’s muscular dress. The dress really just made sure that all of Sara’s best assets were put in the spotlight.

Sara beamed at Felicity happily. Despite all the self-confidence she was exuding, there was a little bit of nervousness on her eyes. Felicity was sure that she was the first person outside of the OJQ employees to see the dress, so her opinion was probably quite important to Sara.

“You look so beautiful,” Felicity said and to her own surprise she felt tears pricking in her eyes, “Nyssa is going to faint when she sees you.”

Sara frowned at Felicity, and from the corner of her visual field Felicity could see that Oliver was looking similarly confused about the choice of words. With a couple of pins between his lips, he had turned his head back over his shoulder and frowned at her.

“Okay, that would be bad,” Felicity agreed, “so she won’t faint, but she is going to be very, very emotional. I mean she is going to love it, obviously, since you are the one wearing the dress and she loves you.”

Oliver rolled his eyes before he turned back to continue pinning the hem of Sara’s dress. Felicity lifted her gaze to Sara’s face and watched her ogling herself in the mirror. Her fingers stroked down the front of the desk almost a little nervously.

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asked without looking up. “Anything bothering you?”

“I don’t know,” Sara said, “I mean the dress is perfect. It’s exactly what I wanted, and I loved it during the first two fittings, but-“

“No, no.” Oliver hurried to get up from the floor. “I know you what you want to say, but no.”

He stepped behind Sara and put his hands to her shoulders, so he could turn her until she was facing the mirror directly. His fingers brushed against the neckline of the dress gently.

“You think this might be a little too much, right?” Oliver asked, his voice so very soft. “But it’s not. If we put the neckline a little higher, your body loses height. With this cut, we stretch your upper body a little bit, and everything still covered. Even if you dance, this cut allows a good hold, so nothing will fall out.”

Felicity was weirdly touched by how gentle Oliver was all of a sudden. Sometimes she forgot that he wasn’t only a good fashion designer because he had a good sense for fashion. Oliver also tried to give the women that were wearing his clothes a new feeling. He was trying to give them confidence and good feelings about their bodies. He wanted them to feel fabulous and comfortable, a mixture that Felicity felt was rare when it came to fashion.

Oliver’s words seemed to be exactly what Sara needed. At least she squeezed his hand and nodded her head slightly. Still, a little bit of insecurity stayed.

“I think Oliver’s right.”

It surprised Felicity that those words actually fell from her lips, especially since she hadn’t mumbled them to herself. Instead, she had said them out loud and clear, leaving no room for hesitation. That Oliver was right there to hear them didn’t make it any better.

“Well, what did that words taste like?”

“Vinegar essence.”

Felicity and Oliver looked at each other intensely after this brief exchange of words. There was something in his eyes that Felicity felt was meant to provoke or at least tease her. She didn’t miss that sparkle of anger that was shining through and after last night she didn’t think that she should play along to that.

With Oliver’s moods, it felt like she never knew what she was at when it came to them. He could look at her like he wanted to devour her one moment, fight with her like she was his worst enemy the next and act like they were good friends at other occasions. Felicity didn’t know how to deal with that, so she wouldn’t continue dealing with it.

For Sara’s sake, Felicity would do her best to be adult. She wouldn’t make a scene. She wouldn’t tell him to go to hell and leave her the hell alone. They had to respect the other’s presence, but they really didn’t have to communicate.

Felicity turned her gaze away, sitting down on the edge of Thea’s bed. Although she didn’t look at Sara and Oliver, she was sure that the awkwardness and tension she felt embraced them too. It was hard to miss.

Oliver cleared his throat. “I think we are done here. Sara, you can go next door. Becky is waiting for you to help take off the dress. Nyssa will be here in half an hour. You should be gone by then. Bad luck and everything.”

“Thank you for everything, Ollie,” Sara said and kissed his cheek, “the dress is exactly what I wanted and more.”

“Good,” Oliver squeezed her hands. “Use the last hours before the wedding to catch some rest. The dress will look even better with a well-rested bride inside.”

Sara chuckled. “I will do my best, but I am so nervous that I doubt I will get any sleep before the wedding.”

“There is no reason to be nervous,” he told her seriously, “just relax. Everything will go just as planned. You know my little sister. She won’t allow anything to go wrong.”

He winked at her before he turned around to leave. His eyes met Felicity’s briefly, filling with coldness and regret at the same time. Not letting that stop him, he continued on his way to the door and left without another look back.

As soon as the door opened, Felicity released a long breath. She was relieved that Oliver was gone, but that only made her feel all the more terrible for having a part in making things awkward with the happy bride-to-be right there. She shot Sara, who was still standing on that small pedestal, her hands on her hips and her eyebrows perked up, an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, “I promise that I will be better these next two days.”

Sara smiled a little sadly. “I just want the wedding to be kept out of this. I know you two still have issues, but-“

“I will be on my very best behavior. I will be like an angel, not saying a single bitter word about him or anything, even if he tries to provoke me to do so. I promise.”

Although Sara didn’t seem exactly convinced, she nodded her head. Since Thea stepped in that very moment, a young brunette following right behind, Sara didn’t get to say anything else anyway.

“Becky is ready to help you undress.” Thea gestured for Sara to follow the brunette, “you can go next door where your clothes are. Nyssa is not here yet, so the coast is still clear.”

Sara shot another meaningful look at Felicity before she followed the brunette out of the room and closed the door behind herself. Thea, who had observed the moment quietly, cocked her head at Felicity.

“What was that look supposed to mean?”

Felicity shrugged it off. “Nothing.”

It was obvious that Thea didn’t believe her. With the way she tilted her head even more to the side and crossed her arms in front of her chest, she proved that. She definitely wanted to know the truth, but Felicity was sure that would change if Thea knew what was really going on. She hadn’t wanted to hear the word sex in the same sentence as her brother’s name three years ago, and Felicity doubted that had changed.

Figuring that a change of subject would be the easiest way to stop Thea from trying to stare her into telling the truth, Felicity got up from the bed and walked over to the small desk. Some designs of dresses and diverse accessories were pinned to the magnet board above it. Felicity didn’t even have to look twice that those weren’t Oliver’s works. The way the designs were sketched didn’t look like Oliver’s sketches, and they weren’t exactly his style either.

“Did you do these?” Felicity asked, shooting Thea a brief glance. “They look great.”

“Felicity,” Thea said in a singsong, “you are changing the subject.”

“I know,” Felicity replied in the same singsong, “is it working?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Thea grumbled, but she stepped next to Felicity and took a look at the designs. “Yes, these are mine. The dresses are older designs, but the accessories are rather new. After Ollie showed me the first sketches for his new collection, I got inspired. I spent an entire weekend, day and night, on these. Most of them would fit for some of the items in his collection.”

Felicity looked at the purses, belts, gloves and other accessories. They looked elegant. With the softness they exuded, Felicity was sure they would create a good contrast to Oliver’s fashion that was usually a little rocky for the lack of a better word.

“Did you show Oliver these?” Felicity asked. “If they are for the collection-“

“He’s too busy,” Thea interrupted her with a shrug of her shoulders, “after the presentation, he might have five minutes to take a look at them. Before that, especially with the wedding, he just doesn’t have the time.”

“After the wedding is a little late though, don’t you think?” Felicity cocked her head at Thea, looking at her as urgently as Thea had looked at her before. “Maybe some of your designs can make it to the catwalk.”

Thea rolled her eyes. “You don’t really think that Ollie will allow any changes or additions to his collection, right?”

Felicity pursed her lips. When it came to his work, Oliver was indeed a little distinct. He needed to be in control of everything, and he wouldn’t allow anything to go out on the catwalk that he hadn’t approved to at least three times. Given how critical he was with his own work, Felicity was sure it was even worse with the work of others.

“What about your mother?” Felicity asked, unwilling to let go of the idea that Thea couldn’t have the same success her brother had. “Did you show the designs to her?”

“Yes.” Thea sighed. “After our talk, I thought I’d gather my courage and ask her for her opinion. I mean I don’t want to disappear in Ollie’s shadow for the rest of my life. I want to design my own stuff, and I want to be recognized for it. My mom took her time and really took a look at everything. She thinks I am talented and that I do have a chance at doing my own thing one day, but she thinks the designs need a more personal note at first. She thinks I am not ready yet, but she promised to support me whatever my next steps are and that she will help me build something for my own when I am ready eventually.”

Felicity pursed her lips, looking at the designs. To her, Thea’s accessories looked great. She had several items in her closet that would look great with a little addition like that. She wasn’t a designer though, so Felicity wasn’t sure how qualified her opinion was.

“Your mother isn’t a designer. She is a good business woman, but that doesn’t mean that she understands the trends of fashion. I mean when Oliver first told her about his vision of becoming a fashion designer, she turned him down too. Talk to Oliver. He knows.”

When Thea only shrugged her shoulders, still hesitant to really take that step it seemed. Felicity put her arm around Thea’s shoulders, pulling her closer, and rested her head against hers.

Families were always a little messy. Thea might have made a better hit than Felicity or Sara had when it came to families, but the special circumstances of family and business mixing still didn’t make it easy for her either. Family members were supposed to support each other, but this special situation made it difficult to do that sometimes.

With a glance at her watch, Felicity sighed. It prompted Thea to tighten her hold on her friend.

“You have to go?” she guessed.

“Unfortunately, I do.” Felicity released another long sigh. “I gotta catch Lena and Lily for a video call before they leave Helix Dynamics.”

“Is this about the deal with Queen Consolidated?” When Felicity shot Thea a surprised glance, she shrugged her shoulders. “Dad told me.”

Felicity nodded. “Your dad agreed to the project, but he suggested two changes in the contract. Now I have to check with Lena and Lily and our lawyers that they agree to these terms, so I can meet with your dad again and finally sign the contracts.”

“So if I keep you here a little longer, that means you don’t get the okay and have to stay to finalize the deal?”

Felicity chuckled. “No. If you keep me here a little longer, that only means that your dad and I might have to leave the wedding for an hour to sign the contracts in his office.”

Thea scrunched up her nose and let go of Felicity, pushing her away playfully. “Fine. Go. Leave me alone.”

“We will spend a lot of time together tomorrow and for the wedding,” Felicity promised her. “Make sure we sit at the same table.”

“Next to each other of course. I am not an amateur.”

“Never doubted that.” Felicity winked. “Now, are you walking me to the door or-“

“I will go and check on Sara. I think she wants to wait for Nyssa, and I have to make sure the two won’t meet as long as any wedding dress is visible.”

“Alright.” Felicity hugged Thea tightly. “We see each other tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” Thea hugged her back just as tightly. “If you have a free minute, I wouldn’t mind to spend the afternoon with you already.”

“If I have time, the afternoon will be reserved for you.”

They left the room together. While Thea walked into the room next-door, Felicity headed towards the stairs.

The more she saw of Thea’s talent, the more convinced she got that Thea needed to step out of Oliver’s shadow. Even if Moira was right and Thea wasn’t ready yet, Thea needed the chance to develop her own style. As long as she was belittled and compared to her brother, she would never get a chance of doing that.

Felicity wondered if maybe she herself should talk to Oliver about it. She was probably the last person he would listen to, but this wasn’t about them after all. This was about Thea, and Felicity knew that she meant the world to Oliver. He would never admit it, or at least he would never cause an emotional scene, admitting his feelings, but he loved his little sister like only the best big brothers did.

Scrunching up her nose, Felicity noticed the warmth spreading in her chest. She disapproved of the way it filled her at the thought of how close Oliver and Thea were. Of course it was great for Thea, but she didn’t want to think about all the good sides of Oliver anymore. Those just brought her into trouble and-

Completely distracted by her thoughts, Felicity didn’t focus on placing her foot safely on the next step of the stairs. Unable to balance out the misstep, she twisted her ankle and lost balance completely. Her hands moved out to grab the banister and keep her from falling down the rest of the stairs, but she failed to get a hold of it.

Luckily, before he knees could hit the edge of the stairs and she could fall forward completely, two strong arms wrapped around her. They kept her from falling. Still, she crashed against the arm so hard that she felt her ribs aching at it.

“Wow,” Oliver said, his voice showing much more concern than anything else, “Are you okay?”

Bumping into Oliver seemed to turn into a terrible habit. Maybe she should take a class in balance and observing surroundings. That way she might make it in and out of a building without bumping into someone all the time. Of course the fact that the only person she was ever running into like this was Oliver could also tell her something else, but whatever fate might want to tell her, Felicity wasn’t interested in hearing it.

As soon as the first shock had passed, Felicity hurried to escape Oliver’s arm. She took a step back, holding onto the banister. She bit down on her tongue firmly, doing her best to bite back a hiss. Putting any weight on her foot just hurt too much.

A small furrow formed between Oliver’s eyebrows at the strangled sound that fell from her lips nonetheless. He looked her up and down. His gaze got stuck at her foot that she still couldn’t put any weight too.

“Sit down,” he asked her, his voice much gentler than it had been at any point since she had come back to Starling City, “I will take a look at it.”

“That’s not necessary,” Felicity said firmly, “I just tripped. It’s nothing. Thanks for catching me, but I will-“

When Felicity tried to walk past Oliver, she lost her balance again. Her ankle just wasn’t fit to carry any weight. If it hadn’t been for Oliver, who reached out and kept her from falling once again, she would have fallen down the stairs.

“You are not going anywhere. Now sit down.”

Felicity pressed her lips together. For the break of a second, she considered just walking past him nonetheless, but she was sure that she couldn’t take it if she fell right into his arms once more. It was probably the only thing she could bear less than sitting down and letting him take a look at her ankle.

Grumbling, she put her hand into his and let him help her into a sitting position. She did her best to look everywhere but at him when he kneeled down in front of her. He lifted her foot into his lap and carefully took off the shoe. He palpated her ankle carefully, making Felicity hiss in pain. Immediately, his eyes lifted towards hers. Concern was written all over his face.

Felicity told herself to look away because the intensity of Oliver’s eyes had gotten her into trouble more than once already. As much as she tried to do so, she felt drawn to them. She felt like she could get lost in the way he looked at her. It made everything inside of her tingle. Her lips prickled with the desire to taste him.

How did he always do that? She had every reason to be angry with him, and still all it took was a single look into his eyes and all the feelings she had tried to push away for so long were back. It wasn’t fair.

“What’s going on here?”

Felicity flinched, quickly breaking eye contact. Looking past Oliver, she saw John standing at the foot of the stairs. He looked back and forth between the two of them suspiciously like he had his own ideas about what was going on here, but Felicity had to disappoint him. After all, John had come soon enough to prevent anything else from happening.

“I just twisted my ankle. It’s not that bad.”

“But it will be terribly swollen before the end of the day.” He shot John a quick look. “Can you get an ice pack for her?”

“That won’t be nece-“

John didn’t listen to her protest. He didn’t even wait for her to finish her protest. He had just turned around and was already on his way to the kitchen.

With a sigh, Felicity leaned her head against the banister and closed her eyes. Starling City really didn’t bring good luck to her. Whenever something good happened here, something bad seemed to happen too. Starling City just didn’t want her to be too happy.

“Ice pack comes.”

Felicity opened her eyes just in time for her to see Oliver catching the ice back John passed him. He put it to her ankle with his left hand and caught the compression dressing John passed him with his free hand.

“Hold the ice here.”

Felicity did as Oliver suggested while he wrapped her ankle with the compression dressing. His hands brushed against hers every now and then. It caused goosebumps to spread all over Felicity’s arms. She wasn’t the only one affected by the touch. She could see goosebumps on his arms too.

“John,” Oliver said, “please tell the driver to get a car ready. I am going to take Felicity home.”

“That won’t be necessary, John, I-“

Again, John didn’t listen to her protest. He just went outside to do as Oliver had asked him. Felicity stared at the closed door with open mouth. Why did nobody listen to her protest?

“He works for me,” Oliver said, “and he likes his job. That is why he doesn’t listen to you.”

Felicity frowned at Oliver, wondering if she had said that out loud. When Oliver just rolled his eyes and put his head back, Felicity realized that maybe he still knew her as well as she sometimes felt she still knew him. They had been together for quite some time after all.

John stepped back in a moment later. “The car is waiting for you.”

Pursing her lips, Felicity shot John a look. He only looked at her matter-of-factly, so she knew that she wouldn’t get him to say that she didn’t need anyone to drive her home. She frowned angrily and looked at Oliver instead.

“You don’t have to drive me.”

“I know,” he said with a sigh, “but I will do it anyway for whatever reason.”

He said the last words so very quiet that Felicity could barely hear them. She wasn’t sure if she had been supposed to hear them or if Oliver had maybe been unsure if he wanted her to hear them too. Either way, his words proved that he wasn’t too happy with his decision either, so Felicity would certainly offer him a way out.

“What about Nyssa’s dress fitting?”

Oliver faltered briefly, telling Felicity that he had indeed forgotten about that for a second. Maybe there was still a way for him to give up on his idea to drive her home.

“John, tell Thea to take care of that. She is skilled. She has good eyes. She can do that.” He pressed his lips together briefly. “And if she messes it up, she will be banned from the atelier for at least a year. Tell her that.”

“I am not going to tell her that last part,” John said, shooting Oliver a pointed look, “but I will make sure that she knows everything else.”

Oliver nodded his head before he turned to Felicity. “Ready?”

Felicity guessed that she didn’t have much of a choice. She knew that she couldn’t drive herself home, and Oliver probably wouldn’t let her call a cab. She had no idea what drove him to feel like he had to take care of this personally, but she didn’t want to lose time fighting with him. At the end, he would probably drive her anyway.

Nodding her head, Felicity tightened her grip on the banister and got up onto her feet, well, her foot. She wanted to take the first step down, but Oliver already stepped towards her. He wrapped an arm around her back and pushed the other behind the back of her knees, lifting her into his arms like she was featherlight.

Her side was pressed to his chest, and she could feel his muscles working to keep her tight and safe in his arms. He was so close that she could smell him. She could really smell him and not just his aftershave. His breath was ghosting over her skin.

“I can walk.”

Oliver snorted. “Sure.”

He carried her down the rest of the stairs and out of the door that John held open for them. Right in front of the door, a fancy Porsche was waiting for them. Oliver opened the door to the passenger seat and sat her down there. When he reached out to buckle her seatbelt, she slapped his hands away, shooting him a pointed glare. Oliver pulled his hands away immediately. Leaning out of the car, he closed the door and walked around the car to get onto the driver’s seat. He only looked at her briefly before he hurried to switch on the engine and direct the car down the driveway and onto the street.

During the drive through the city to Felicity’s hotel, they barely talked. Felicity leaned her head against the cold window pane and kept her gaze outside, watching the city pass by.

Oliver parked the car on the small parking lot behind the hotel and hurried to walk around the car to help her get out. For a small moment Felicity hoped that he would let her walk, but he lifted her back into his arms quickly. She bit back any possible protest this time because she knew it was useless anyway.

“Which floor?”

“Fifteenth.”

“In that case, we will take the elevator.”

Felicity cocked her head, perking up her eyebrows. “Not in form?”

Oliver stepped into the elevator and looked at her. There was something about the expression in his eyes that Felicity didn’t understand. She had no idea what he was trying to tell her with the way he looked at her.

“What?” she asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Now you are teasing me?” He narrowed his eyes at her slightly. “When I teased you before, you looked like you wanted to shoot daggers at me.”

“I was angry at you.”

“You? Angry at me?”

Although his voice wasn’t angry now, Felicity knew that this subject would only get them to fight right now. Their fight wouldn’t be fair with the pain in her leg. She couldn’t focus on being mad and angry with him with the way things were.

“I think it’s better if we don’t talk.”

“I get the same impression.”

They made the rest of the way in silence. Oliver carried her to the door of her suite where he went down a little, so she could unlock the door. He carried her to the couch and sat her down there. Felicity almost expected him to just leave her like that, but as tense as the situation was thanks to the brief conversation before, he still took care of her. He pushed a pillow under her foot, making sure it was slightly elevated. He even got her a glass of water and put it on the table next to her.

Felicity felt her heart ache, lowering her eyes. She still didn’t understand why everything had to be so complicated. It didn’t make sense that life was making it so hard for them.

“Anything else you need?”

To her surprise, Oliver seemed to bite back on his annoyance or anger or whatever his reaction was to their conversation before. He tried to sound soft. He tried to smile comfortingly. Maybe he didn’t manage it to do it fully, but he did his best, so Felicity did the same.

“I could need some painkillers.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. “You hate them because you always feel like your head is made of cotton wool when you take them.”

Felicity guessed that Oliver knew better than anyone else how truly badly she reacted to painkillers. She had trouble to control her brain-to-mouth filter most times as it was. With painkillers, it just got worse. They caused her to just say everything she was thinking without considering whether it was appropriate to say it. It was terribly embarrassing for her and everyone around.

“I know.” Felicity sighed, leaning down to touch her ankle that felt quite swollen already. “I need them though. They are in the bathroom cabinet.”

Felicity nodded in the direction, and Oliver hurried to get them.

Looking at her ankle, Felicity scrunched up her nose. She had thought that she would get to dance a little tomorrow and the day after that. Now she wasn’t sure if that was a smart idea. She doubted that she would be able to walk easily these next couple of days.

When Oliver came back, he handed her the small pillbox. He stayed standing right next to the couch, watching her while she was dropping two of the painkillers onto the palm of her hand. She gulped them down with some water. Closing her eyes, she shook herself. She hated taking pills just as much as the feeling she got after she had taken them.

Felicity kept her eyes closed for a moment, taking some deep breaths. A part of her wanted Oliver to leave, so she could lie back and pity herself for all of this. She knew that she couldn’t really kick him out after he had taken the time to take her here and make sure that she got everything she needed. It wouldn’t be fair to just kick him out.

With a low sigh, Felicity opened her eyes. She was about to offer Oliver a glass of water too, but the question got stuck in her throat when she noticed the way Oliver looked. He was still standing close, his gaze lowered to the newspaper that was lying on the couch table. His thumb was rubbing against the tips of the other fingers nervously.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Bad critics?”

“No.” Oliver sucked in a deep breath. “Our townhouse- the townhouse we wanted to rent is back on the market.”

Frowning, Felicity grabbed the newspaper. It took a moment until she found the ad, but Oliver was right. Mr. Baker’s townhouse was back on the market and searching for new people to rent it. The price is still the same although renovations had been carried out as recently as last year.

Her heart tightened a little. Last night, she had allowed herself to recall all the memories of their break-up. It had made it impossible to push away the pain that came with it. She felt the slightest of reminder of this pain rushing through her.

“It really is the townhouse we have taken a look at.”

“And that we wanted to rent.”

“That I wanted to rent.” Felicity shot him a pointed look. “You wanted to buy that loft which I gave into.”

“You gave in?” Oliver snorted. “In what world did you give in?”

“In that world, this world to be exact, where I agreed to buy that loft that I could not afford at all because you loved it so much,” Felicity said, all the anger suddenly rolling over her in an unstoppable wave, “which also happens to be the same world where you didn’t show up to sign the purchase agreement, so I was standing there like a complete idiot, finding excuses for why you didn’t come. I obviously made a fool out of myself because you didn’t only not show up. You also never called or texted, not even as much as saying that it’s over.”

Felicity glared at Oliver for a moment, but she quickly looked away when she felt the intensity of her outbreak pull at her heartstrings. Tears were welling in her eyes, angry tears she told herself. It didn’t matter if they were teas of anger or tears of heartbreak, she didn’t want Oliver to see them. She didn’t want to start crying in the first place.

Although Felicity still kept her head down, looking everywhere but at Oliver, she could feel his gaze on her. His gaze was tickling on her skin, making a cold shiver running down the length of her spine. It took everything inside of her not to start crying as the pain was back with the same intensity that it had accompanied her these first days after their break-up.

Felicity wanted to ask Oliver to leave her alone. She didn’t want him here any longer. She knew that if she tried to speak, she probably wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears. She needed a moment more. If shot took some deep breaths, she would find her voice again.

“Right after we have viewed the townhouse,” Oliver suddenly said, “you said it was going to be either the townhouse or the loft, but someone had to give in. We both agreed that we knew who that would be.”

Gulping down the burning feeling in her throat, Felicity took in a deep breath and lifted her head. Her eyes met Oliver’s. He looked at her calmly, but there was something quite unsettled in there too.

“Me.”

They said it at the same time, making Felicity shake her head.

“I gave in, and I called Janice and made an appointment with her. Hence, I waited at the loft where you didn’t show up.”

“Well, because I was at the townhouse where I asked Mr. Davis to come to, so we could sign the rental contract. I was waiting for you to sign the rental contract.”

Felicity frowned for a moment. Something about the way he looked at her almost told her that he really meant it. Still, she couldn’t believe him. It just didn’t make sense unless he was just claiming this was true because he tried to hide his guilt in their break-up. He was trying to cover the story.

“Why would you have done that?” Felicity asked. “We agreed on that loft and-“

“No, we didn’t.”

Oliver looked at her firmly, not letting her object. He really meant it, and to Felicity’s own surprise she almost believed him.

The only problem was that she really didn’t want to. She didn’t want to believe that he wasn’t lying. If Oliver said the truth, that meant that their break-up had been a misunderstanding. It meant that none of the angry and bitter feelings she had kept bottled up in herself for the last three years had been necessary. Nothing would have been real.

She thought back to that day three years ago, thinking about hints that Oliver was lying. She remembered that he hadn’t picked up his phone. She had tried to call him again and again, and he just hadn’t called her back. He had also told Adrian that they had broken up without as much as trying to reach out to her.

In the back of her mind, Felicity knew there were dozens of explanations for this. Maybe he had taken her fight more seriously than she had thought and he had taken the fact she hadn’t come as a sure sign that it was over. Maybe he hadn’t dared to reach out because he hadn’t wanted her to hear him say that it was over.

It wouldn’t make everything go away. Oliver hadn’t trusted her or their relationship enough to even consider reaching out or fighting. That was an issue no matter what exactly had happened that day. It just wasn’t as heavy as the story that had been her truth until a minute ago.

Felicity’s eyes were still glued to Oliver’s face, looking for any sign that he was lying there now. There was nothing to be found though.

“It’s all been a misunderstanding,” she whispered, “everything has been a misunderstanding.”

Felicity really didn’t know if that was a reason to be happy about or something to make her even angrier than she was already. She felt like it was the second, but a little bit of the anger she had held for so long seemed to fade already.

For the break of a second, it seemed to be the same for Oliver. He looked at her with the same struggle in his eyes. His thumb was rubbing against his fingertips nervously once more. He gulped, making him Adam’s apple jump in his throat.

It didn’t last long. His hand suddenly tightened to a fist, and his eyes turned cold. He sucked in a deep breath. Although there was a slight tremble in the way he sucked in the air, it made his muscles tighten.

“It’s not like everything has been a misunderstanding.”

With that, he turned around on the balls of his feet and walked away. Felicity almost expected him to slam the door shut behind him. Instead, he closed it quietly which was almost worse.

Felicity frowned after him, still not exactly understanding what had happened. If Oliver’s story was true, their belief that they knew each other inside out and could communicate without any words being said had caused them to think the other had backed out of moving together. A misunderstanding had caused their worst and most insecure sides to react in the stupidest way possible.

Maybe Oliver was just as confused and irritated by this reveal as she was. Maybe that was why he was-

Sucking in a deep breath and closing her eyes, Felicity shook her head. She had spent so much time trying to find excuses for Oliver and trying to understand him. If these last few days in Starling had proven anything, it was that Oliver hadn’t changed and she was just done wasting her time.

Maybe everything that had happened between her and Oliver these last couple of days hadn’t been what she had hoped for when she had come to Starling. She had hoped for an apology and for them to come to a point where they could be respectful with each other.

Obviously, this wasn’t what had happened. Her acceptance that this not only hadn’t happened but would never happen either might not be what she had wanted, but it might be exactly what she needed. This wasn’t the clean cut she had hoped for, but sometimes an ugly rip could do the same job.

* * *

@fannaz @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @orangeisorange @mspotatohead14 @whentheheavenfades @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @mysaudadespt2 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @olicityshipper19 @memcjo @hysterical-for-joshifer-blog @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19 @alex-wesley @arrows-4ever @unabashedlynerdypatrol @louehmysoul @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @almondblossomme @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarry @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @mrt2501 @arsipaci14 @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafrancis-blog @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @j69confessional2 @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @turnupthemusicandscream @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl @turnupthemusicandscream @pumpernickle93 @onceuponanolicity @1106angel @jaspertown @fadinglands @morganashimi83 @mochababychristy @omglovechrissie @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor @onceuponanolicity @speakandseethetruth @bri206 @aglasgo @geemarie @pineprincess @nerdgirljen @eternal-olicity14 @allyouhadtodowas-stay-stay-stay @lovelycssefan @tsseract @flowerandsunshine @dcnmarvelgamergeek @blondeeoneexox @monetsmark @bb-olicity @mashamarty @rulerofsilence @erika-amber @nothingmorethanmyotps @kayleenyc @tonto16 @olicityfluv @olicitea1990 @haahaaa2408 @pattid1 @faegal04 @24karatgem @wrldtravler @readerkas @olicity-beliver @greencoffeecups @snorlaxishere

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splitpush · 5 years ago

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[ENG] 銀の匙 | Silver Spoon 131 (final chapter)

I’ve loved Gin no Saji for many years. I wanted to provide a roughly-translated manuscript for any other English-speaking fans that are still waiting for the finale to this beautiful manga by Arakawa-sensei. I supplemented my translation using the Chinese scanlation provided here by lumosmoon and typeset by 王少. Page numbers correspond to numbers on the side of the pages in the raw scans.

If anyone is interested in typesetting this translation to the manga, please link this post and credit me under the name “hachiko”, thanks! Enjoy & please excuse any errors.

[page 1~3]

Hachiken: The big blue sky. The gold-coloured lands. A blurry horizon. A smart phone with no signal...

Subtitle: A coming-of-age story built from tears, sweat, and dirt has finally come full-circle in a 32-page finale!!! In this endless field washed in gold... For a boy who was once unable to visualize what would come in the future, who disliked having a dream... His future is beginning to sprout at last.

Hachiken: Where... am I...?

[page 4]

Narrator: The answer is... Russia. [big arrow] Specifically, here. [small arrow points to Ezono]

Subtitle: Even though Hachiken has finally grown up a little... he still gets lost!! A bad sense of direction that transcends international borders.

Hachiken: “If you follow ‘this path’ we’ll see each other...” is what he told me. But are you kidding? This is RUSSIA!!! (text on the road: “THIS PATH”) Brings me back to the memory of that day in the summer of first year, when I had to walk along the path between Mikage Ranch and Komaba Ranch… Even if it’s one road and I won’t get lost, it probably won’t be without incident… Aren’t there bears here in Russia? Tigers? (Also it’s Russia!)

[page 5]

Subtitle: The last chapter of this coming-of-age story opens in the far east of Russia! Accompanied by the low rumbling of thundering machinery, what approaches Hachiken…!?

A familiar person’s back: So you really came, Hachiken!

[page 6]

Hachiken: Komabaaaaaa !!!

Komaba: Hey. You got lost, didn’t you?

Hachiken: Even if I don’t get lost I’d still encounter some kind of trouble!!!

Recap: After graduating from Ooezo Agricultural High School, Hachiken & co. went their separate ways. Now, four years later, his friends have gathered at Aki’s place while she is studying at Chikudai. But Hachiken, also at Chikudai, is nowhere to be found…

[page 7]

Komaba: If… you could see the mountains, you would know how to get your bearings...

Hachiken: Ah-- In our 360-degree visible radius there is not a single hill or ocean, and all I see are fields. I’ve never seen anything like it in Hokkaido.

Komaba: Hachiken, why did you come dressed so formally?

Hachiken: You were the one that told me there was an interesting business proposal!! Please take my business card!

Komaba: In recent years, Amur Oblast has started to do agriculture-related business with the banks in Hokkaido.

Hachiken: Japan-Russia relations?

Komaba: Yup. A joint venture between the Japanese banks and Amur Oblast. How do I say this, I don’t know if Russians are full of heart or simply rough-handed, but the motto they have here is basically: “sow as you please, and reap as you please”.

Hachiken: Oh…

[page 8]

Komaba: Due to the effects of global warming, the eternally frozen fields are now arable. And so a Russian dude casually told me to “do as you please” with this huge piece of land.

Russian dude: So you want to use the land? Sure, provided that you can speak the language, have the work ethic, and drink the vodka with me!

Hachiken: Hoho….

Komaba: So I started using the methods we used commonly in Japan to grow soy on the land. In our first year, the crop yield suddenly increased by 50%.

Hachiken: Just how “do as you please” were these Russians before this!!!

Komaba: We are leading the way carefully. With all the knowledge that we’ve accumulated, we can of course lead carefully.

[page 9]

(Russian) Kid: ICHIRO -- !! Kid: Done work yet? Komaba: Yup. Kid: Then let’s play some baseball! Kid: Teach me how to toss a forkball! Komaba: Tossing a fork requires muscle! Muscle!

Hachiken: I don’t know what they are talking about, but I can tell it’s about muscles…

[page 10]

Komaba (Russian): Your hands are still too small, so let’s try it first with your thumb and forefinger. Don’t push yourself, or you’ll hurt your wrist.

Hachiken: Komaba can speak Russian!

Komaba: It’s thanks to Alexandra-san. If you wanna work here, being able to speak Russian is a huge help.

Hachiken: It would’ve been nice to learn some Russian. I was shocked that nobody spoke English here.

Komaba: And the language of sports is universal!

Exclamations in Russian: Yeah!! Alright!!

[page 11]

Hachiken: How popular is baseball in Russia?

Komaba: It’s not at all. If I was born here, I coulda gone to Koushien. Just tell the kids a couple stories about forkballs and the Carps, and they’re immediately hooked. I said I would teach them how to play and the parents cleared the land into a baseball field.

Hachiken: It’s a Field of Dreams. Like an oversized Ezono.

Komaba: Speaking of Ezono, Sakuragi-sensei went to a lot of trouble to help me secure my place here in Russia.

Hachiken: Same here, it’s all thanks to Sakuragi-sensei that I was able to find network connections for pig-raising.

Hachiken: Komaba, do you have your own ranch here yet?

Komaba: That’s the plan right now. But there’s still a lot here yet to be developed. Setting up a grain loading operation near Vladivostok, establishing shipping routes with Hokkaido, I think these projects are all pretty cool.

[page 12]

Komaba: We can provide Hokkaido with cheaper animal feed, and Hokkaido can provide us with resources and agricultural equipment. A land filled with so much potential, only 1500km away from my hometown. Something this interesting, who wouldn’t wanna try their hand at developing it?

Hachiken: You’re not scared of failure?

Komaba: Nothing will move forward if you don’t even try.

[page 13]

Komaba: Our ancestors were the same when they pioneered Hokkaido. Thinking about it that way gives me courage. (Foul ball!) That being said, the people here won’t sell their land to a foreigner. If I want to have my own ranch here, first I’ll have to take a Russian bride.

Hachiken: Really! Komaba is marrying a Russian girl!

Komaba: What about you? (Kids: Strike out!)

Hachiken: Wat

Komaba: Aren’t you thinking about marrying Aki?

Hachiken: Eh...!! We’re still students...!! And I gotta think about Aki’s feelings too, what kind of nonsense are you spouting!! Even though things have been going well!!

Komaba: Shuddup…

[page 14]

Hachiken: ….“Hachiken Aki” and “Mikage Yuugo”, Which do you think sounds better?

Komaba: “Mikage Yuugo” definitely has a better rhythm to it.

Hachiken: Yeah, I thought so too.

Komaba: Hey, you guys are happy together, that’s all that matters.

Hachiken: Regardless, my pasture-raised pig business hasn’t even taken off yet, so marriage is out of the question right now.

Komaba: As expected, you wanna do everything too properly.

Hachiken: I need to get my accreditation from the university for food hygiene management, then I’ll be able to build my own private processing plant, Hmm, how many years is that going to take… …

[page 15]

Komaba: Just work on getting your pig-raising business up and running successfully for now.

Hachiken: Eh?

(Russian) Kid: Ichiro’s friend, come play with us too! Kid: Isn’t it boring to just watch?

Hachiken: Huh? What’s this, what this? What, me?

Komaba: Go hit a few. They think everyone from Japan is good at baseball.

Hachiken: As if. But I should be able to hit some balls if I’m playing with kids… I can’t make a proper stance wearing these shoes anyway, I’ll just take it ea~sy...

[page 16]

Hachiken: YOU! Hey, what are you playing at!!! As if I’ll be able to hit any of your pitches!!!

Komaba: This is my revenge for the past!

(kids cheering: Ichiro!! Ichiro!!)

Hachiken: You’re totally motioning for a fly-ball, please just let me lose!!

[page 17]

Hachiken: … I wanna go back to Japan… Man at the net: Ball.

Komaba: You’re not going anywhere!

Hachiken: Why did we come all the way to Russia just to play baseball? Man at the net: Ball.

Komaba: I know right. To think that a certain somebody had no~idea what they wanted to do in the future when they were a first-year in high school. Why do you raise pigs?

Hachiken: How should I know!! Why are you asking this!! Also, wasn’t it you that called me over to Russia because you needed me!!

Komaba: Ah, right, right.

(Russian) Kid: It’s a homerun!! Kid: So cool!!

[page 18]

Komaba: Hachiken. Come raise your pigs in Russia.

Hachiken: Hah?

Komaba: Nice-- that’s a strike! I’ve been following Ookawa-san’s social media. Your pigs, the annual yield has been increasing quite steadily.

[page 19]

Komaba: To be able to produce that yield in a cold climate pasture, it’s a testament to how hard you’ve worked. Here in Russia, Despite the demand for meat, there are very few guys out here raising livestock. If you wanna get in on it, now’s the time.

Hachiken: … …You trying to pull a scam here?

Komaba: Does it really sound like that? To tell you the truth, if you want to raise livestock, this place is literally El Dorado.

Hachiken: If it’s that good, get the local people here to do it!

[page 20]

Hachiken: Hyah!! Man at the net: Strike!

Komaba: Didn’t I say just now, that I wanted to create a connection between Russia and Hokkaido. You’ll stay over there in Otaru, and I’ll be here in Vladivostok.

Hachiken: So you’re not a scammer! You’re the mafia!

Komaba: Refuse and I’ll break you.

Hachiken: You have no right to be teaching baseball to these poor Russian kids!!!

Komaba: I am Ichiro of the Far East.

Hachiken: Ichiro wouldn’t do something like this!!

Komaba: I’m kidding about breaking you, but I’m serious about the rest.

Hachiken: Do you have proof that this is even profitable!?

[page 21]

Komaba: Nope.

Hachiken: Oi!!!

Komaba: Although I don’t, I think it’ll be interesting to team-up with Hachiken. Let’s do it together.

Hachiken: Eh!?

[page 22]

Hachiken: Why did the ball just now drop like that!?

Komaba: Yes, that’s three strikes!! My victory!!

Hachiken: Ah~~~ I’m conflicted~~~~~

Komaba: Well, I guess that’s true. You’ve got your own life to live.

Hachiken: I’m really~ So conflicted~~~ … You know, I, made a promise long ago to never be the guy that would deny someone of their dream.

[page 23]

Komaba: Ah ha ha! That’s you, all right.

Hachiken: Also, raising pigs on such a wide area of land could be interesting… !!

Komaba: Then it’s decided.

Hachiken: Don’t just say that!

Komaba: Japan’s large-scale industry and greenhouse vegetable industry players are already making moves here.

Hachiken: Ah-- and there’s already talk going around about “growing vegetables with pig manure”, so we’ll have a finger in that pie too…. …No, wait, wait!

(Russian) Kid: What are they chatting about? Kid: Hurry up and tell us too--

Hachiken: Eh? What? Ah! You want me to get out of the batter box? Sorry, sorry!

[page 24]

Komaba: ?

Kid (Russian): Okay!

Hachiken: Whew-- gesturing successful! Oi, Komaba!!

[page 25]

Hachiken: Let’s go again, we’ll decide it with the next ball!!

Komaba: … Hah?

Hachiken: If I hit it, everything before doesn’t count! Komaba, if you win this one, As GINSAJI’s representative, I’ll consider this opportunity more closely!!

Komaba: Are you supposing that, I’ll go easy on you?

[page 26]

Komaba: … …Of course. How will ya know if ya don’t try.

Hachiken: All right Komaba, gimme your best shot!!

Komaba: Since you’re getting serious now, I’ll have to get serious too!!

[page 27]

Hachiken: Are you kidding me! Can’t you go easy on me just a little!!

Komaba: Shut up!! Next up, forkball!! You’ve been warned!!

Hachiken: Please just throw in a straight line!! Kyaaaaaa--

[page 28]

Student: Sensei-- Actually, I was thinking about starting my own business.

Sakuragi: Eh! What type of work?

Student: I love to cook and eat tomato-based recipes, so I want to use the tomatoes that we’ve been growing at home to start a restaurant! … But, people around me say that starting a business right out of high school is pretty impossible, I should probably wait until I mature a bit more…

Sakuragi: Oh! This tomato is delicious!

Student: Right? The harvest from this year came out just as I imagined it!

Sakuragi: Hm. Starting a business after high school. You may face some difficulties indeed. I understand why the people around you are worried.

[page 29~30]

Sakuragi: And it’s difficult for me to advise you on this as well… -- Is what I would have said a few years back! Among the students that I’ve taught over the years, there once was a guy who was a runaway from the regular high school examination track; he had come to Ezono with zero goals. The minute he set foot on campus, he suffered one hardship after another. He joined the equestrian club after he was invited by a female classmate. Didn’t even have the guts to drop out. He’d never made pizza once, but endeavored to do it in stride. He christened a pig and cared for it with so much love, that when he cooked and ate its meat he bawled his eyes out. During his part-time job, he wasted a ton of milk and bawled his eyes out again. Snuck out of his dorm in the middle of the night and got slapped with toilet duty. Found a dog in the middle of the school and started to take care of it. Couldn’t refuse anybody’s request and overworked himself so hard, He ended up getting sick on the day of the school festival and couldn’t participate. Borrowed money from his friends and bumbled his way onto a ship bound for Russia.

Other teachers: He didn’t board the ship. He didn’t board it.

[page 31]

Sakuragi: He is the record-holder for the lowest score ever recorded at the Interhigh Equestrian tournament. He suddenly decided in December of his 3rd year that he would attempt the university entrance exam. Started dating the girl that he liked but never got her father’s approval.

Students: Wow, just hearing about this guy makes me anxious… Didn’t even get the father’s approval…

(T/N: sorry, I don’t remember their names edits plz) Teacher: Oh, and don’t forget the boarding house explosion incident. Teacher: Right, right!

Students: What a scary guy.

Student: … and this person graduated without any issues?

Sakuragi: He did indeed. Apart from all of the above, he also started his own business while he was a student.

[page 32]

Sakuragi: And he’s the reason why all of you get to have such a leisurely pizza party like this, every year. If you’re interested in hearing more,

Let me tell you the story of the many different seeds that this man has sown.

#gin no saji #silver spoon #manga translation #hachiken yuugo #komaba ichiro #銀の匙 #t #spoilers #silver spoon 131

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ngame989 · 5 years ago

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I'm new to writing fanfic, and always work solo, so when I saw you have a whole team at your disposal, it blew my mind. I've got a list of questions about that: 1. How did you guys find each other and get started? 2. How does your work flow look for a story vs. a page/chapter of the comic? 3. How much do you love having an editor? 4. How does your work change from draft to final? 5. The quality of your prose is very consistent, is that just you as a writer, or is it your team keeping you good?

1. Seddm, EA, and Dino were all good friends of mine from the fandom from before or during Season 3 (I started watching the show between 2B and BFM). Toxic started watching the show sometime in late 2018 and messaged me on Tumblr for some sort of formatting help, or tips and tricks for getting posts more noticed in the fandom or something? I don’t remember and Tumblr DMs are awful to navigate, but we quickly bonded over what really matters most.

Lawchan had been a longtime follower of the show and fanfic author who inspired me to get into it back after 3A and we started talking and became friends at some point in the last year or so. BMC popped into my askbox when I opened it up to headcanon suggestions and ended up sending me over 100 in a span of 3 days that were all wonderful and creative so we started talking more. This really is a “team” in a loose sense, I just have a ton of awesome and creative and supportive friends willing to help out with this.

Oddly enough, this project started less than a day after (and was inspired by) Lake House Fever. I had already been thinking about getting back into fanfiction writing after S4 ended and we were pissed and salty and just needed good Starco thoughts so I hit him up and we started chatting and thought “huh wait a Star and Marco section of a family photo album would be a cool concept for some sort of series” and it evolved from there. We’d planned out a lot of the basics for the comic before the show ended and were waiting on the canon resolution before going any further, and Cleaved shook a lot up for what the postcanon status quo would be, so my whole aforementioned group all sat in a Discord channel on and off for literally 8+ hours the day after Cleaved and roundtable’d the entire backbone of the Earthni timeline for almost every major character (so if there’s people in the credits for TGG that haven’t shown up directly in any works yet, that’s where they contributed).

2. Overall I’m the project lead and head writer so the majority of specific ideas, what should this page have or where is the story going, etc, come from me although anything we do gets signed off on by at LEAST me, Toxic, and Seddm first. For comics, I usually plan the concept (Star goes here, these people are talking to each other, happy or sad, etc) and then let Toxic do his thing - he’s great already but is SUUUUUUUUPER amazingly wonderful at reading my mind and making visuals that represent my thoughts even better than the visuals in my head for them. He’ll do a rough page layout and sketch, we workshop that, then he does line-art, we look for any issues or revisions there, then he colors as I make the dialogue. Usually takes a few days of back and forth.

Honestly my workflow for writing fics is absolute ass and you should not learn from us (ESPECIALLY me) if you’re getting into the game, hahahaha. Every day that I say I’m gonna write something, I usually end up dicking around at my computer until 1 AM and THEN decide to write a little bit and lose sleep over it. A lot of Glow was written between 2 and 6 AM on a Saturday night. I’m ridiculously nitpicky of my own work and half the time before I even finish typing a sentence I’m already erasing it because I decided it was dumb or did something wrong, which makes drafts take F O R E V E R, but the silver lining is that my first draft is already very polished by the time it’s done.

Overall, we play to our strengths - Seddm and I are general idea guys, “wouldn’t it be funny/cool if X” or “we should tell a story about Y” etc, and Toxic is especially wonderful at coming up with fantastic visual designs or gags or whatever else. So there’s plenty of times where I’ll give him the rough outline for a comic page and he’ll slip in some goofy background thing that makes it so much better, or I’ll give him a joke idea and it’ll work amazingly. I also like to call Seddm my “internal debate moderator”. When I’m struggling to figure out what to do for something, I’m often torn between a few ideas. Getting outside advice on it can obviously be really helpful, but there are times that it leaves me even more confused about what to do. But because my and Seddm’s understandings of the characters and senses of design and humor are so damn similar, he can basically serve as both a neutral voice and still part of my own thought process at the same time, which really helps me get my own personal ideas in order before running them by others.

3. Editors are great and wonderful and perfect and I love my friends to death for graciously helping week in and week out with this when I ping them with “hey guys shat this out, sun has been up for an hour so im gonna go fucking die now bye”. As stated earlier, perhaps my need for one isn’t AS high because I self-edit so compulsively as I go, but it’s soooooooo easy to get caught up in your own head and intentions and not spot obvious issues with your own writing that outside voices help a ton.

4. Whoops I guess I answered already. Very little.

5. Given that edits don’t change much about the structure of my writing, I guess it’s me - thanks! But my team is great about keeping me in line with my own vision in editing and hitting any lines that just seem out of place. There was one particular cut line in Glow that I won’t post here that was easily a full standard deviation of naughty greater than the rest of the fic’s tone (unintentional, it was very late -_-) and that got caught and shot down real quick lmfao.

#tgg svtfoe #answered #aphantaray

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hope-for-olicity · 6 years ago

Text

Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - June 1st, 2018

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them. Thank you so so much for your fics they really do help with pain.

The Old-Fashioned Way multi-chapter complete by @primpim -Felicity always wanted a family. Tired of waiting for Mr. Right, she decides to take matters into her own hands. She has a steady job, savings, a good support system and, after all, who needs a man in this day and age? Thirty, single and quite happy to be, Oliver isn't looking to settle down and hasn't really even entertained the idea of having kids. But when Felicity starts looking for a potential biological father, he doesn't hesitate. Purely because he doesn't want someone to take advantage of her... or so he tells himself. From awkward starts to the wonder of creating new life, it will soon become obvious that getting pregnant isn't just about expecting a baby: it's also about facing feelings that had been buried for years. And in the end, Felicity might realize that what she's been looking for has been right under her nose from the start...and Oliver will quickly understand that when it comes Felicity and their unborn child, he wants much more than what they had originally agreed to. PLEASE NOTE: The author is taking this story of AO3 soon download to keep reading. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961009/chapters/27046173

Time for a Story multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. YOU NEED THIS STORY IN YOUR LIFE. http://archiveofourown.org/works/3912157/chapters/8757172

Above All Else multi-chapter WIP by shesimperfect_butshetries - A different take on episode 6x14: Rene shoots but Oliver jumps in front of Felicity. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14101470/chapters/32490537

Arrow 7x01 Spec #1 by @lostolicityscenes - I wanted to write a scene of Felicity visiting Oliver in prison where they reassure/inspire each other. And well, this isn’t that really. Sometimes it’s out of your control. So, here’s a spec of a tearful angsty angry scene where they fight for most of it. https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/174254452871/arrow-7x01-spec-1-an-i-wanted-to-write-a-scene

Nothing Hurts by @alanna-the-lionheart - Oliver gets hurt on a mission. He’s banged up badly, but nothing’s broken, and Felicity insists on taking him home, where she decides to draw him a bath. For the first time in a long time, Oliver lets someone else take care of him, and Felicity comforts him and heals him in more ways than one. Based off of that video on Stephen’s Facebook page where he’s sporting fake bruises after filming. https://archiveofourown.org/works/4880014

Out of Place by @diggo26 -NSFW Oliver takes care of Felicity after her horrible ex-boyfriend shows up at a party - http://diggo26.tumblr.com/post/162323884919/out-of-place

Lawyers at War multi-chapter complete by @crazycrystal10 - AU Neighbours Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak are at war. Their animosity doesn't let them come together but their love doesn't let them drift apart from each other. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11321694/chapters/25341486

The Queen's Mage multi-chapter WIP by @the-shy-and-anxious-fangirl - Words have power, and mages, those with the aptitude to draw on that power, are few in number. Thus, their services are highly sought after by anyone who has exhausted all mundane means of solving whatever problem is plaguing them. Felicity is reminded of this fact the hard way when she is hired by Moira Queen, the Lady Starling, to find and return to her her son Oliver, who fled his family home five years ago following the death of his father. With a threat hanging over her should she return without Robert Queen's heir, Felicity begins her search. When she finds Oliver, and ends up joining his vigilante crusade while she waits for him to decide whether to return home, the last thing she expects to do is fall in love with him. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14617068/chapters/33781269

The Distance Between Two Hearts multi-chapter WIP by @geneshaven - A glimpse at Oliver's life in prison. Part 4 https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/174257333769/the-distance-between-two-hearts Part 5 https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/174294103039/the-distance-between-two-hearts Part 6 https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/174303636249/the-distance-between-two-hearts-missions-end

(Is it Desire) or Is it Love That I'm Feeling For You? by @emilyszuko - Iris speaks again, “Felicity, do you love him?” She doesn't answer, tongue twisted and heart about to beat out of her chest. She knows she does, and part of her doesn't answer Iris because even if he'll never hear them, those words are for him. The other part of her though is just scared as hell that it'll blow up in her face like everything else has. “I don't think Oliver wants to hear anything else from me,” she settles on instead, crestfallen as she scratches at the black paint on her fingernails.“And what if he's just as afraid as you are?” https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756849

Elizabeth Grace Smoak multi-chapter WIP by @lynn8828 - What if Felicity and Oliver briefly had met before he got on the Gambit? Despite her best efforts, Felicity was unable to get in contact with the famous Oliver Queen after having a one night stand with him and getting pregnant with his child. After raising their child for five years after finding out that Oliver died on the Gambit, she finds out he is alive and knows that she needs to tell him about their daughter. But will he believe her? AMAZING STORY!! http://archiveofourown.org/works/13639371/chapters/31322715

Inner Odds by @imusuallyobsessed - Ivy Town seems perfect. So, why does Felicity feel this way? https://archiveofourown.org/works/11322804

Lost Love by @onceuponanolicity - After the bombs have gone off on Lian Yu, Oliver searches for his team and finds them in the A.R.G.U.S. bunker, only to find out there has been some casualties. One of them being Felicity's memory of him. Now, he must deal with the results. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11320017

Idiot with a Death Wish multi-chapter WIP by @bitchwhwifi - Felicity Smoak is a firm believer that her soulmate has a death wish. One night out with friends changes when her soulmate’s life is once again on the line she get’s nosy and ends up in the basement of Verdant and meets the head of the Bratva in Starling who helps her put an end to the search to find her soulmate.https://archiveofourown.org/works/11322231/chapters/25342872

You Remind Me of Our Love (That I Miss) by @bokayjunkie - She looks exactly how he remembers her and yet... everything about her is different. That's because she's not his Felicity https://archiveofourown.org/works/11321283

Tempest multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Three years ago, tragedy struck Julianna Queen’s life. Now, she wears a mask and fights at her father’s side, looking for closure and justice as she tries to find a path to move forward with her life while holding on to her past. But that may a bit more complicated than she thinks… http://archiveofourown.org/works/13309731/chapters/30461850

Yin-Yang multi-chapter WIP by @lgtwinkie99 - Felicity is shocked to find that her mother Donna Smoak has entered into a program where she gets to choose a husband for her daughter. The only problem is that Felicity will get to go on one date with the prospective candidates but will only meet the man who she will be spending the rest of her life with, at the altar. Will Felicity trust her mother’s judgement and marry a man she does not know or will she quit before reaching the altar? https://archiveofourown.org/works/6820756/chapters/15569500

Count the Days multi-chapter WIP by @olicityandklaroline - Soulmate fic http://olicityandklaroline.tumblr.com/post/174324025311/count-the-days-ch-9

Blue Linens by @callistawolf - Felicity and Oliver finally have some alone time together. But something seems off... https://archiveofourown.org/works/11113194/chapters/25364307

The Disappearance of Felicity Smoak by @smewhereelse - Season 2 AU. In her haste to expose Malcolm Merlyn as the mastermind of the Undertaking, Moira Queen accidentally implicated an unknown party as his real accomplice. And in her haste to provide directions to Lance, Felicity left her digital fingerprints all over the files for the Markov device. Realizing that she’s up shit creek without a paddle, Felicity disappears after Moira’s acquittal. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11315301

Oliver's Kitchen by @gypsyfire1066 - Oliver is protective of his kitchen. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11333868

Book Club by @obibaldwin - Oliver gets invited to Felicity's book club and it's all downhill now. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11339310

We Loved With A Love That Was More Than Love multi-chapter WIP by @wrldtravler - When Felicity's father leaves her and her mother behind, she loses all her faith in the very idea of soulmates. After Donna Smoak remarries into the Merlyn family, events are put into motion that bring Felicity into proximity the very destiny she never wanted to be apart of, and the family she never knew she needed. After years of unknowingly fighting and dancing around her fate, Felicity finally receives her soulmark on her 18th birthday. With the truth revealed, Felicity's fate is left in her hands, and only she can decide whether to let him in before it's too late. http://archiveofourown.org/works/10216829/chapters/22672961

The Event by @cruzrogue - Call back to season 2 when Oliver was dating Sara and oblivious to his own feelings. Felicity as his EA intertwines herself with the elder lady of a powerful conglomerate. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11341002

Following the Lead of the Setting Sun multi-chapter WIP by @adiwriting - When Oliver agrees to a life in prison, it lights a match to the entire Queen family’s world. How can Oliver be a good husband and father, while he’s in prison and fighting for his life? https://archiveofourown.org/works/14715020/chapters/34008707

Harder Than You Know by griever11 - Post Season 6 finale fic. Oliver is released from Slabside after five months away from his family and is now faced with the fallout of the decisions he made. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14779838

Red by dreamsofolicity - Due to a mixup with luggage, Oliver finds himself at the house of one Felicity Smoak. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11349582

Despacito by @someonesaidcake - It had been Felicity's idea. After everything....everything, she convinced him to get out of Star City for four days of something that wasn’t what they had left behind. Four days in San Juan, Puerto Rico. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11356551

New Friends and Concerts by @felicityollies - Felicity is trying to enjoy herself at a concert, but she can’t see past the ridiculously tall guy in front of her. https://archiveofourown.org/works/6610375/chapters/34228028

Ordinary Days by @arrowgirl20 -When Felicity finds out she is pregnant, her father finds a man who will save her reputation, a farmer, Oliver Queen. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11359116

A Nightmare multi-chapter WIP by HopeShannon3000 - Oliver comes back from prison to his world has fallen apart https://archiveofourown.org/works/14795831/chapters/34230347

Hotel Vegas multi-chapter complete by @it-was-a-red-heeler - Heartbreak sends Felicity home to her mother for a vacation that just might change her life forever. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11217708/chapters/2506231

This is War multi-chapter WIP by x_olicity_files - Set as a fix it of sorts from the season 2 finale and onwards. Instead of baiting Oliver with Felicity, Slade Wilson kidnaps her because it was his primary goal. Slade had been working for someone else and he was tasked to bring Felicity with him by any means necessary. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802056/chapters/34246403

Damn It, Why Won't the Eagle Just Land Already? multi-chapter WIP by @smewhereelse - President John Diggle would really appreciate it if everyone would stop gossiping about his security detail and his science advisor and get back to work. He’d appreciate it even more if his best friends would pull their heads out of their asses and get together already. A White House romantic comedy AU. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13132602/chapters/30040788

Re-airrow 1x20 by @lostolicityscenes - This episode had Oliver torn between catching Edward Rasmus, who puts a hit out on a family and helping Diggle who, with Lyla, has lured Deadshot to Star City. The following Delicity scene takes place after the video above, but before Oliver makes his choice. This week’s post is short and sweet. https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/174417068731/re-airrow-episode-1x20-an-this-episode-had

Broken Love multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - Felicity and Oliver try to adjust to their new normal, but with Oliver in jail and Felicity in protective custody, neither are coping well with the distance. Oliver receives an offer from Agent Watson and Felicity takes matters into her own hands. (6.5 fic) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717075/chapters/34014233

Home To You multi-chapter WIP by @the-shy-and-anxious-fangirl - Oliver Queen has never done what his family expected of him. He took a gap year after high school instead of going to college right away. He quit his fraternity sophomore year to join the student newspaper, switching his major from business to journalism. He became a photojournalist for a wire service instead of taking a place at Queen Consolidated. He went missing after six months instead of coming home for his sister’s twenty-first birthday. He survived five years of captivity in a war zone when everyone thought he was dead. He came home. But home didn’t have a place for him in it anymore. His parents were both dead, casualties of their own mistakes and a city they had turned against them. His sister was all grown up, the CEO of Queen Consolidated with a fiancé and a dog and a life of her own. Oliver didn’t belong in his old life, but there was nowhere else for him to go. He was a man without a home, without any way of finding one, until he stopped by the IT department of his sister’s company to get files off an old, battered memory card, and found a woman with curly blonde hair and bright, intelligent eyes chewing on a bright red pen and swearing at a computer screen. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12613188/chapters/28734552

Nothing Short of Perfect multi-chapter WIP by Tangled23 - Five years ago Felicity Smoak had to pay for all of her mistakes, sacrificing the one thing that she treasured most in life. Five years ago Oliver Queen learned that he was a father, a fact that forced him to grow up and stop being an entitled brat. Now he is the successful CEO of Queen Consolidated and she is a woman focused on setting things right. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14810714/chapters/34269434

Sex Restrictions by @alexiablackbriar13 - Oliver has back, pelvis and knee problems stemming from past injuries due to Green Arrow work. In a post-operation check-up, Dr Schwartz advises against all strenuous physical activity. Yes, that includes sex. They manage to reach a compromise. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14812418

Sometimes It Rains multi-chapter WIP by Izzyface and @missyriver - Life happens fast. But we live through it slow. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14726736/chapters/34039875

// @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @wrongshipper // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 //

#FabulousOlicityFanficFriday #olicity fanfiction #fic recs

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thebookjumper · 7 years ago

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Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon - Week 5: Out of place.

It seems like we keep getting more and more each week. Which is a trend I absolutely love. Keep up the amazing work guys!

On another note: There are a few people making artwork for some of the fics for this Fic-A-Thon. If someone makes and submits a piece of work that you want me to use for your fic, I’m more than happy to do so, but I NEED YOU TO TELL ME! I don’t feel comfortable putting up someone’s art on someone else’s fic without the author’s permission, so you need to let me know you want me to use it. I’ve been reblogging it and tagging the author of the fic so you’ll know someone out there is making great artwork to go with your story.

Also - I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to get the summary up again. Sickness combined with Camp Nanowrimo and work is a lethal combination.

The works submitted for this week’s prompt: Out of place are:

(In no particular order)

Change of Plans by @thatmasquedgirl - Rating: Teen and Up - Felicity makes a change of plans. Oliver does, too. A flashback in the Breaking News universe.

Nanotechnology for Dummies by @laureningall - Rating: General Audiences - Oliver joins Felicity on a Smoak Technology business trip to Hub City. Although Felicity is having the time of her life Oliver is out of his element. Luckily they make a good team in both business and pleasure.

I Will Always Trust You - Chapter 5: The Absence of Light by @felicityollies - Rating: Explicit - Inspired by Charmed - Oliver was Felicity’s Whitelighter until he let darkness inside of his heart and became something else.

One Last Time - Chapter 4: Out of place by @wetsuiton - Rating: Teen and Up - Drunk Felicity feels a little self-conscious.

Tastes like pure joy - Chapter 3: Human girl in a vampire world by @wherethereissmoak - Rating: Teen and Up - Oliver protects Felicity from other vampires, and the wedding night and the turning happens.

Summer Vacation - Chapter 5: Home by @dmichellewrites - Rating: Explicit - Felicity gets around the apartment with a bit of difficulty. Later, they go home hunting.

Maybe Not Ever by @hope-for-olicity - Rating: General Audiences - A look at Felicity's struggle to move on after Oliver tells her he can't be with her.

Olicity Hiatus 2017 Prompts - Chapter 5: Out of place by @diggo26 - Rating: Explicit - Summary: After an embarrassing event, 18 year old Felicity battles with her insecurities with help from her best friends older brother, who happens to also be the man she’s had a crush on for years.

Idiot with a death wish by @bitchwhwifi - Rating: General Audiences - Felicity Smoak is a firm believer that her soulmate has a death wish. One night out with friends changes when her soulmate’s life is once again on the line she get’s nosy and ends up in the basement of Verdant and meets the head of the Bratva in Starling who helps her put an end to the search to find her soulmate.

Inner Odds by @imusuallyobsessed - Rating: General Audiences - Ivy Town seems perfect. So, why does Felicity feel this way?

you remind me of our love (that i miss) by @bokayjunkie - Rating: General Audiences - She looks exactly how he remembers her and yet... everything about her is different. That's because she's not his Felicity.

Rose-Red City as Old as Time by @almondblossomme - Rating: Not Rated - Oliver knows people everywhere. Seriously, everywhere.

Forever at Odds - Chapter 2: Out of place by @laurabelle2930 - Rating: General Audiences - We find out exactly why Donna insisted Felicity marry Oliver.

some fairytale bliss - Chapter 4: blue linens by @callistawolf - Rating: Teen and Up - Felicity and Oliver finally have some alone time together. But something seems off...

The Disappearance of Felicity Smoak by @smewhereelse - Rating: General Audiences - In her haste to expose Malcolm Merlyn as the mastermind of the Undertaking, Moira Queen accidentally implicated an unknown party as his real accomplice. And in her haste to provide directions to Lance, Felicity left her digital fingerprints all over the files for the Markov device. Realizing that she’s up shit creek without a paddle, Felicity disappears after Moira’s acquittal.

Most Secrets Come With A Price by @digglesarms - Rating: Mature - Felicity has to get a dress for a gala. It doesn't go well. Cue Oliver setting everything right.

Book Club by @obibaldwin - Rating: General Audiences - Oliver gets invited to Felicity's book club and it's all downhill now.

The Event by @cruzrogue - Rating: General Audiences - Call back to season 2 when Oliver was dating Sara and oblivious to his own feelings. Felicity as his EA intertwines herself with the elder lady of a powerful conglomerate.

keep your head up and make it to me by @releaseurinhibitions - Rating: Teen and Up - It all changes in a second. One moment she's in a stuffy room in a corner of campus, computer parts scattered all around her, the next she's in a seemingly-endless beach.

Red by @dreamsofolicity - Rating: Not Rated - Due to a mixup with luggage, Oliver finds himself at the house of one Felicity Smoak.

Oliver's kitchen by @gypsyfire1066 - Rating: Teen and Up - Oliver is protective of his kitchen.

Left To Fate by @missyriver - Rating: Explicit - Oliver never forgot her or the time they spent together. Does he risk everything to find her? Will he try one last time before his life is changed forever?

Lost Love by @onceuponanolicity - Rating: Teen and Up - After the bombs have gone off on Lian Yu, Oliver searches for his team and finds them in the A.R.G.U.S. bunker, only to find out there has been some casualties. One of them being Felicity's memory of him. Now, he must deal with the results.

Never Far Away by @onceuponanolicity - Rating: Mature - When Felicity Smoak moves to Starling City and attends a new high school, she expects things to be hard on her, she is twelve after all. But then she meets new friends and life becomes easier. What isn't so easy is growing up.

A Different Life by Izzyface - Rating: Mature - When Felicity Smoak was 7, the FBI came looking for her father. Her mother responded by driving them across the country. Because of the kindness of stranger, Felicity's life would change for the better in every way and she'd learn the true meaning of family.

You Had Me at Hello - Chapter 4: Out of Place by @tdgal1 - Rating: Explicit - Can Oliver get past the disastrous dinner and convince Felicity he truly cares?

It Feels Remarkable by @wherethereissmoak - Rating: Not Rated - The Vigilante encounters a beautiful blind girl looking very out of place in a dark alleyway one night. Little did he know that she was exactly what he needed - both for his mission and his heart.

Every now and then - Chapter 4: I wish i could go back... by @madhaj - Rating: General Audiences - Nothing is in the right place and Oliver just wants everything back the way it should be.

Blue Eyed Angel - Chapter 4: Out of Place by @tdgal1 - Rating: Mature - Oliver is upset when he finds out Felicity has plans that don't include him. His next decision may not work out in his favor or does it?

And our fanart submissions for the week are:

by @rua1412

and

by @rua1412

I try to get all of your fantastic stories every week, but inadvertently I may miss one or two. Please let me know if you don’t see your fic on here and I’ll correct the oversight ASAP. Also, check the @olicityhiatusficathon page to make sure I’ve reblogged your submission for the week, every week, to make sure it’s not missing from there before I make my summary post. That’s the main source I work from when I make this list, and then try to supplement from AO3.

Tags:

@missyriver @almondblossomme @spaztronautwriter @wherethereissmoak @felicityollies @cainc3 @wanhani @dust2dust34 @cruzrogue @hope-for-olicity @babblekween @dmichellewrites @callistawolf @the-queenfamily @angelalafan @bokayjunkie @moonbebesworld @scu11y22 @jamyjan @crankyandbitchy @geniewithwifi @smoakingskye @writewithurheart @some1foundme @xxlisaxxx @nerdyandturdy @aussieforgood @imusuallyobsessed @leonie1988 @miriam1779 @diggo26 @amphoteros @tdgal1 @queensoverwatch @jedichick04 @walker-oliciter @squidbillybritt @green-arrows-of-karamel @uhhmanderrmitch @overwatchqueens @smoakmonster @ourwritinginvein @pls-moi @spacemomnephmoreau @gypsyfire1066 @creativelylisa @sharingmyworld @laurabelle2930 @overwatchandarrow @pennedbyv @dinzbinz @jlr1224 @crazycrystal10 @ccdimples88 @perfectlittlesoul @mariposablue9 @rua1412 @dreamsofolicity @quiveringbunny @thearrowandhisgirlwednesday @mammashof @eilowyn1 @xblondepiratesopheeex @1106angel @onceuponanolicity @fallingmeleth @mel-loves-all @releaseurinhibitions @purselover2 @thatmasquedgirl @babblingblondegenius @bitchwhwifi @faeriefantasy @olicitysmoaky @lover4eternity @a-w-mouse @rynflo @c0bra5nak3 @wetsuiton @charlinert @laureningall @madhaj @arrowfan437 @herskirtsarentthatshort @obibaldwin @smewhereelse @memcjo @pleasantfanandstudent

#OlicityHiatusFic #OlicityHiatusFic-A-Thon #Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon #OHFAT #Week 5 #Week 5: Out of place.

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travel-study · 8 years ago

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hey friends! this is the first post of a new series of masterposts i am going to do on shakespeare’s major works. i have a degree in history & english literature from one of the top unis in the uk and i’ve covered a hell of a lot of shakespeare in my time, so hopefully i can offer some help to you guys. please let me know if there’s anything you want different in future posts, feedback would be great. hope i can help, and happy new years!

themes

sex, if love be blind, it best agrees with night

romeo & juliet is absolutely chocked full of sexual overtones, it’s basically about two kids getting a bit carried away trying to get into each others pants

3.2.13-16 highlights this link between juliet’s sexual inexperience and her sexual eagerness. she is ‘unmann’d’ in that she has yet to take a husband, as well as in that an unmanned falcon would fly free if taken outdoors were a hood not pulled over its head

3.2.21-23 stresses the heartbeat rhythm, ‘come night, come romeo, come thou day in night’. it’s a fast rhythm, stressing her desire for him to come to her. her boldness is born in her desire and her separation from innocence, which could also form the base for a point about femininity and docility being tied to innocence and virginity if you fancied taking that route

mercutio has been described as ‘sex-obsessed’, but i’d say he’s a pretty archetypal teenage boy in this respect. he makes lewd references to rosaline’s ‘quivering thigh’, and mocks romeo’s ‘love’ 2.1.9-24 generally, setting up the argument that romeo can’t distinguish between love and lust. romeo also makes reference to juliet’s thighs on their wedding night, although saying that they’re ‘like jewels, the work of a master hand’ is rather nice compared to his remarks about rosaline and how she refused to ‘ope the gap’. i would say this repeated mention of thighs distinguishes the difference between the laddish chat between the boys and the conversations between a man and wife, another break from innocence and youth.

mercutio also reduces love to merely sex in 2.1.36-41, and his fruit based metaphor could easily be linked to the fruit of eden and sex being a product of the birth of sin if you wanted to go down that route

there is of course the famous pun on ‘maidenhead’, equating sword fighting with raping women, at the opening of the play, establishing and linking the consistent themes of sex and violence

essentially these two are horny teenagers and sex is a huge theme in the play. it is easy to tie to love, innocence, femininity etc.

useful articles on sex in r&j: 1. 2.(ctl+f sex for ease) 3.(partic. interesting commentary on rape in r&j) 4.

masculinity, thy beauty hath made me effeminate

this is, i think, one of the more interesting topics covered in r&j, and as a result there’s a shitload of useful sources for it

in romeo’s hypermasculine society he is expected to either violently defend his family and his name or master his own self-control and autonomy and love. he attempts to do both simultaneously and it doesn’t pan out so well for him.

all the deaths of the young men in the play stem from them trying to fulfil these expectations of them.

unlike benvolio, mercutio and tybalt, who maintain their masculinity in death, romeo’s suicide is seen as weak, even effeminate.

appelbaum’s article in shakespeare quarterly is particularly important, i think, in critically addressing this conflict of gender, and i would strongly recommend it if you’re hoping to cover this theme

1. 2. (this one covers the coming of age process in r&j, but i think it’s useful to tie this in with the development of masculine ideals and expectations)

love & death, thus with a kiss i die

one cannot write about one without writing about the other when covering romeo & juliet, i think

along with fate and society, love and death are pinpointed as key themes in the prologue, setting the audience up to tie the two ideas together

the paradoxical notion of love in death fuels these characters motives, and could potentially link to a religious theme if you wanted to take that angle (as a protip if you wanna study english or history just learn as much as you can about religion and it’ll cover you for 90% of your essays)

this article extensively covers the times in which death is mentioned in the context of love, or vice versa. it’s interesting if a bit oddly formatted

this article talks about the context of joint burial, a physical manifestation of these tied themes, in a sense

chapter 21 on shakespeare’s early tragedies in this book is useful, and there’s a whole subsection for romeo and juliet that’s a handy read

fate, i fear... some consequence yet hanging in the stars

the elizabethan world view was shaped by a common belief in fortune, fate and the power of the stars, astrology being considered a science amongst the nobility at the time

bertrand evans noted that in r&j ‘fate is the controlling practiser, and the entire action of the play represents her at work’ in shakespeare’s tragic practice, essentially arguing that every choice made by the plays characters is just chipping away their path to their predestined ends

this article is generally great, and the third angle focuses on r&j as a tragedy of fortune. i’d recommend reading the whole thing but i’ve linked straight to the third point so that it’s focused on the theme of fate and fortune.

i would also recommend this book, you can search for specific references to romeo and juliet, but there’s some good stuff about fate and predestination around p.55 and for the next 20 or so pages i think? i didn’t count oops

form

all of shakespeare’s plays are written in iambic pentameter. an iamb is a foot that consists of one unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable. pent means 5, so there’s 5 iambs in each line

as is pretty typical for shakespeare, he uses blank verse to indicate that a person of a lower social class is speaking, or to show informality. for instance, the nurse speaks in blank verse, and mercutio does when in the informal setting of hanging around with his friends. stricter rhyme tends to come into play with characters of a higher social standing, like capulet

the play is an early example of shakespearean tragic structure. this generally fits within the 5 act structure that’s been a playwrights favourite since horace built on aristotle’s 3 segment structure.

this is an interesting article that i’d recommend if you were hoping to look at tragic form in romeo and juliet

more on tragic form: 1. 2. 3. 4.

language

i’m not gonna go through quotes or sections one by one here because that basically makes the process of doing your own essay redundant, but i am gonna give some tips on analysing language

the first time you read the play, enjoy it, don’t overthink it. the second time you read it pick out the sections or the lines you think are most pertinent to what you want to write about. if you have 9 books to read this week and don’t have time for this i feel you man i really do, you can just pick key phrases the first time but it kinda fucks with the flow of your understanding if you get me

worst case scenario, sparknotes will have key quotes. i only started using them when i was half way through uni because i thought i was too good to rely on sparknotes. no one is too good for sparknotes trust

anyway, compile your chosen segments according to theme and then start working out how you’ll shape your paragraph on that theme. carefully select which quotes you’ll use to back up your points, as textual evidence is crucial to building your case

close analysis of language is kind of something you need to improvise, i find. i generally don’t think there’s actually anything there and then just make something up. e.g. ‘my bounty is as boundless as the sea,/ my love as deep; the more i give to thee/ the more i have, for both are infinite’

so ignoring whatever else and focusing purely on language, i’d highly here rhythm and rhyme, and the obvious effort that romeo is making to use poetic language. the alliterative ‘b’ and the ‘ea, ‘ee’, ‘ee’ sounds both create a bounding rhythm reminiscent of that of juliet i mentioned earlier, building on both the sexual energy with the whole heartbeat feel and the anticipation and excitement, cos you can’t deny that boys rhythm sounds eager. ‘more’, ‘more’ again reiterates this point. ‘my’ ‘my’ ‘both’ i would say signifies romeo transitioning from being an individual to being a pair cos joining with juliet in marriage and physically etc. etc. you can just chat any old shit you fancy as long as there’s some plausible way to link it to the text

long story short, success in english is as limited as your own creativity. which isn’t limited, go crazy with it, trust yourself and your argument skills

this is such an unhelpful section i’m sorry i don’t even have any good secondary sources other than the general companions which i will now do

general reading

these are some books i would recommend you read that don’t very precisely pertain to the stuff i’ve already said. remember, though, that it’s super important to read as much of the secondary material as possible, and to grow your own opinions alongside everything that you’ve learnt reading other ideas. they aren’t designed to tell you what to think about the play/book/poem/whatever, but rather to expand your understanding of it

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

i really hope this has helped any of you, and please feel free to ask me any questions about romeo and juliet or anything else english related that you’re struggling with! best of luck, and remember to enjoy it as much as you can!

#studyblr #litblr #shakespeare #romeo and juliet #masterpost #english literature #study masterpost #study #studying #studyspo #bookblr #mine #romeo #juliet #i am sorry if this is super long and clogging peoples dashboards lmao #vegan

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jbkreviews · 5 years ago

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vatt-world · 5 years ago

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URSE DESCRIPTION The theory and practice of lighting techniques for single camera film and video production. COURSE OBJECTIVES:  Understanding the importance of lighting to the art and craft of film and video production, by combining a strong coalescence of theory, history and practice.  Establishing the culture of minimum technical/monetary investment to achieve the desired impact.  A solid command of fundamental lighting strategies and techniques for location and studio work.  Development of a strong film and video lighting vocabulary, as well as the ability to effectively communicate concepts to others.  Understanding the nature and physical properties of light and their impact on aesthetic choice.  The ability to deconstruct professional cinematography, and understand the aesthetic/technical choices of professionals.  Significant exploration into the varied approaches toward developing a project’s visual style.  Developing a habitual consideration for all production elements and their impact on lighting (e.g. camera, location, actors, sound).  Developing an imaginative approach to problem solving within the context of cinematography.  Emergence of the cinematographer’s sensibility, intuition and instinct. REQUIRED TEXTS Brown, Blain. Cinematography: Theory and Practice. Focal press, 2002. Viera, Dave and Maria Viera. Lighting for Film and Digital Cinematography, 2nd ed. Belmont, CA: Thomson Wadsworth, 2005. Additional class handouts & reserve reading and media in library. GRADING: Plus/minus grading will be used in this course. A 93-100% A- 90-92% B+ 87-89% B 83-86% B- 80-82% C+ 76-79% C 70-75% D 60-69% (Does not count toward major) F 0-59% (Does not count toward major) 2 ATTENDANCE Attend all classes/ labs on time and stay for entire class/ lab. Two unexcused missed classes and/ or labs will lower your final grade 1 letter; three unexcused missed classes and/ or labs will lower your final grade 1.5 letters; four unexcused missed classes and/ or labs will lower your final grade 2 letters. Late arrivals and/ or early departures will lower your final grade. Three late arrivals and/ or early departures will lower your final grade 1 letter; four late arrivals and/ or early departures will lower your final grade 1.5 letters; and so on. REQUIRED HARDWARE All EMF majors (and pre-majors) must own their own LaCie FireWire drive. The VML Equipment Policy Handbook states: "You must purchase an approved FireWire drive to use the VML edit suites.” Contact VML Supervisor, at 410 704-3433 for a list of these drives." ACADEMIC INTEGRITY The EMF Department adheres to the Towson University “Student Academic Integrity Policy.” Any form of cheating or plagiarism is prohibited by the policy. Please visit www.towson.edu/studentlife/judicialaffairs/academicintegrity.html for details. Any violation of this policy will result in a failing grade for the course. DISABILITY NOTE Requirements for EMF Department classes follow Towson University’s disability policy; see www.towson.edu/dss for details. Any student who may need accommodation due to a disability, please make an appointment to see the instructor during the first week of class. A memo from Disability Support Services authorizing your accommodation will be required. INCOMPLETE POLICY A grade of Incomplete is not given unless you are unable to complete the work required in the course because of verifiable medical reasons or documented circumstances beyond your control as stated on page 26 of the current Undergraduate Catalog. COURSE SCHEDULE Week one Course Overview, course expectations & syllabus discussion In-class writing exercise “the function of light” Practicum: Equipment introduction; the one-light portrait; lighting the face; basic lighting concepts; basic exposure. Assignments: 1) “Go to the Movies.” Attend a movie selected by the class. Write a one-page critique on the lighting and cinematography 2) Read Viera, Chapter 1, “Basic Lighting Concepts” (p.3-15) 3) Read Viera Ch 4 “Basic Exposure Concepts” (53-66) 4) Read Brown, “The tools of lighting,” (p.142-156) 3 Concepts covered in session: The importance of light to film/video craft; fundamental lighting; equipment use. Week two Practicum: Equipment use; basic lighting placements (key, fill, back, etc,) Lecture/Practicum: Lighting analysis; reading/preparing overhead diagrams Lecture: Visual design/lighting design; the importance of other visual works as reference. Assignments 1) Project #1 - Still photographic re-creation of selected visual material DUE: week four 2) Review Viera Ch 2 “Lighting Set-ups” (p17-39) 3) Find 1 article from any issue of American Cinematographer, read the article, lighting analysis and diagrams. 4) Read Brown, “Color Theory” (p128-140); “Controlling Color” (p168- 176) Concepts covered in session: lighting analysis; referencing other visual works; fundamental lighting; equipment use. Week three Lecture: Physical properties of light & color, part I. Practicum: (multiple 16mm stocks and video formats): Testing exposure/contrast ratios, testing latitudes with over & under exposure, testing color saturation. Assignments 1) Continue work on project #2 Week four Reviewing student work – Project #1 Lecture and in-class demonstration: Lighting interior interviews. Assignments 1) Project #2 – design a lighting strategy & shoot an interior location interview (not in the studio). DUE: week seven. 2) Read “Placing Shadows” lighting interviews (Handout) Week five Lecture/field trip: The intrinsic value of Home Depot to the innovative gaffer. Assignments 1) Buy/Construct 2 low-budget lighting or grip devices 2) Read excerpt from V.F. Perkins’ Film as Film (handout p. 83-88). 3) Read Viera Ch 6, “Creative Exposure” Concepts covered in session: Lighting and grip on a shoestring budget; using production limitations to your advantage! 4 Week six Lecture/Practicum: Logic, consistency & continuity in lighting. Lecture/Practicum: Exposure Assignments 1) Continue work on project #2 2) Read Brown, “Lighting as Storytelling” (p.158-167) Concepts covered in session: Logic and credibility in lighting; lighting as a storytelling element. Week seven Reviewing student work – Project #2 Lecture: Working with natural light in uncontrolled and time sensitive conditions. Practicum: Shooting an exterior scene Assignments 1) Introducing project #3: design and shoot an exterior or naturally lit interior interview. DUE week 10. 2) Read Essay on natural lighting by Arthur Miller, ASC (handout) 3) Read selected portions of “Some Thoughts on My Profession” from A Man with a Camera (handout p 8-21) by Nestor Almendros, ASC 4) Collect 1 film/video example of effective/innovative use of natural light Week eight NO CLASS – SPRING BREAK Week nine Lecture: Cinematographer’s duties; developing a shooting plan Assignments 1) Project #4 shooting plan proposals – Student pairs will breakdown a selected short screenplay, breakdown the script, find and photograph a suitable location, generate a shot list, lighting design and basic video storyboards. Be prepared to pitch your proposal by week 11. 2) Read Viera, Ch 10 “Setting up a Production: The Cinematographer’s Duties.” (p 145-153) Week 10 Screening and evaluating student work – Project #3 Lecture: Physical properties of light & color, part II. Assignments 1) Project #5 Using a scene chosen from a professional visual work, write a lighting analysis, develop a lighting design and re-create your selected scene. DUE: week 14. Week 11 Students pitching prospective shooting plans & locations (project #4) to class and guest professors. Assignments: 1) continue work on project #5 2) Read Brown, “Set Operations” (p 242-256) 5 Week 12 Lecture/practicum: Conducting the production meeting The shooting plan/design is chosen. Students will be assigned crew positions. Our first production meeting will be conducted. Assignments 1) Project #6 – On location, class production, based on the selected shooting plan. Individual assignments will vary based on crew positions. Week 13 Production meeting Assignments 1) Preparations for project #6; individual assignments will vary based on crew positions. 2) Read Brown, “Technical Issues” (258-282) Week 14 Production meeting (ad hoc) Reviewing student work – project #5 Assignments 1) Preparations for project #6; individual assignments will vary based on crew positions. Production day! Crew call at the Media Center - 7am Week 15 Student evaluations Exam review Take-home essay exam distributed Assignments 1) Complete take-home exam Week 16 (session scheduled according to the exam matrix) Final exam is due Screening and evaluating student work – Project #6 Project Descriptions – Lighting for Film and Video Project #1 – Still photography re-creation of selected visual material. Choose an image from one of the cards provided in class. Study the image for light, shadow, and subject placement. Using any basic still or video camera try to reproduce the lighting aspects of the image. You are not required to reproduce the exact content of the image (i.e. clothing or setting) unless they are critical to the overall lighting design. If you have a still camera with manual settings, bracket your exposures. Use a tripod. Project #1 – 10% of overall course grade. Weeks 2-4 Equipment: Lighting Kit; any 3-chip video camera (if students don’t have their own) 6 Groups/#of projects: 5 groups of 4 students (4 total projects produced in ea. group; 20 total projects produced in the class) Time allowed to complete project: 3 weeks ________________________________________________________________________ Project #2 – Interior Interview. For the interior interview project, your focus will be to learn the aesthetic and technical production of an interview segment using an indoor lighting situation of your own design. Consider your depth of field for your interview. Will you make up a special background using lighting or will you try to use a window? You must light an interview subject on location, in their own environment (i.e. don’t bring them into the television studio). You must design your own lighting plan using traditional three-point lighting or some variation. You must use lights from lighting kits obtained from the VML. Project #2 – 10% of overall course grade. Weeks 4-7 Equipment: Lighting Kit; Panasonic DVX100B kit (w/audio); grip equipment Groups: 5 groups of 4 students (4 total projects produced in ea. group; 20 total projects produced in the class) Time allowed to complete project: 3 weeks ________________________________________________________________________ Project #3 – Exterior or natural light interview For the exterior or natural light interview you will shoot an interview segment much like the interior interview but without setting up lights from one of the VML. You can use reflector cards/ bounce cards to redirect sunlight or other devices you may obtain from Home Depot based on our class field trip. Imagine you flew to a location to shoot an interview and none of your lighting equipment made it to the location with you. You need to improvise with non-professional lighting equipment and still produce a professional looking interview. Project #3 – 10% of overall course grade. Weeks 7-10 Equipment: Panasonic DVX100B kit (w/audio) Groups: 5 groups of 4 students (4 total projects produced in ea. group; 20 total projects produced in the class) Time allowed to complete project: 3 weeks ________________________________________________________________________ Project #4 – Location/shooting plan In pairs, students will be given a short script, and will be required to breakdown the script and find a location they believe is suitable. Students will be required to shoot photographic stills and prepare diagrams (based on the locations floor plan); engineer a lighting design; generate a shot list and shoot basic video storyboards. The project is designed to emulate what a cinematographer’s process in developing a shooting plan and 7 style for a prospective project. All students will be given the same script. Project #4 – 10% of overall course grade. Weeks 9-11 Equipment: any 3-chip video camera Groups: 10 groups of 2 students (1 project produced in ea. group; ; 10 total projects produced in the class) Time allowed to complete project: 2 weeks ________________________________________________________________________ Project #5 - Deconstructing and re-creating a scene from a professional’s work. This project will entail the step by step analysis of a professionals work, which includes identification of lighting sources; analysis of lighting qualities, intensities, colors; a physical re-creation of the lighting design in the studio or on location; and the accurate rendering of the re-creation on video format. Individuals will cycle through a production schedule. Groups will be formed and will serve as a rotating crew. Project #5 – 15% of overall course grade. Weeks 10-14. Equipment: Lighting Kit; Panasonic DVX100B kit (w/audio); grip equipment Groups: 5 groups of 4 students (4 total projects produced in ea. group; 20 total projects produced in the class) Time allowed to complete project: 4 weeks ________________________________________________________________________ Project #6 – Class production One shooting plan will be chosen by a volunteer panel of EMF professors, based on the quality of strategy, innovation and feasibility. The two students will serve as cocinematographers. The instructor will serve as the director. All class members will participate in the production. Based on the shooting plan and script, we will spend one day in production on location. This will most likely be on a weekend – be prepared to make whatever arrangements are necessary to attend. Crew call will be at EMF. Project #6 – 15% of overall course grade. Production scheduled for week 14 Equipment: TBD (Instructor checks out all gear; instructor is on set at all times) Project Grading Criteria Projects are expected to be submitted on time and to demonstrate technical proficiency of the task at hand. Projects are expected to be free of major technical issues (e.g. focus, composition, basic exposure, an image free of debris, scratches, fogging or smudges). While technical proficiency is a must, projects will also be graded on creativity and aesthetic considerations. Technical proficiency will account for 65% of the grade, and will reflect how accurately images have been analyzed and rendered according to the intention of the student. Creativity and aesthetic choices will make up 35% of the grade, and will reflect the quality and consideration of the student’s intention in determining a lighting design. 8 Late work policy Projects drop 1/3 grade point for every three days late. More details will be provided later. Final Exam Take-home essay exam based on all class materials (lectures, readings, demonstrations, projects and field trips). Scheduled according to the e

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accidentalnewsiesblog · 6 years ago

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“The King of Brooklyn” and other monikers (Chapter 5)

a short little chapter about learning to read, which you can also do on ao3

~1500 words

The Student

1893

~~~

Spot knew her secret was about to be revealed when Race asked one morning, “What’s the headline today?”

She had their papers in her hand, but she could not read the headline. She could identify most of the letters, but she was at a complete loss on the words they formed.

It wasn’t her fault. Mum couldn’t read, nor had Bridget learned to read. And Spot had become self-conscious about her illiteracy when she started selling papers. She had practiced writing enough to recognize her name — making it easier to sign herself in and out of the lodge when needed — but she’d always faked her way through everything else.

But right now, Race was waiting for her to read the paper. She stared at the page, trying to put together even one word.

“Um…”

She recognized the letter C. The first letter of her last name. That one was easy. The next was an H. Then an I. Another C. Another H? A C with a weird line. An O.

Utter gibberish.

“C…” she began, like the beginning of “Conlon” or the end of “Racetrack." “H…” like the sound at the beginning of “horses." “Um…”

“Spot?”

She looked up from the page. Race was eyeing her with confusion, brows knitted together. He stepped forward and took his bundle. After scanning the letters, he said, “Chicago,” then looked back to her.

Spot felt her face flush. “Right. Yeah. I was getting there.”

His expression didn’t change. He looked around for a moment making sure nobody else was listening then asked, “Spot, can you read?”

“I mean…” Her chest tightened and she broke eye contact. “I mean, I can read.”

She must not have been convincing, because Race didn’t buy it. “Hey, it’s okay if you can’t, I just always thought you could.”

“I can read!” she insisted. “That’s just a hard word!”

Race considered this then shrugged. “Yeah, I guess it’s hard, but… Let’s just talk on the way.”

He led them on the road towards Queens, a few blocks from the wagon before he asked again.

“You can tell me things, you know. I ain’t gonna make fun of you if you don’t know how to read.”

Spot sighed. “Yeah, so I don’t know how to read. Piss off about it, why don’t ya.”

“I just said I ain’t makin’ fun! No need to get all defensive.”

He was right. He was just trying to help but she’d jumped down his throat. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“I can try to teach you if you want.”

She involuntarily glared at him out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t like relying on anyone else for anything. She was self-sufficient. He wasn’t trying to flaunt the fact that he could do something she couldn’t, but her ego was bruised now that her secret was out.

He took her non-response as an invitation to proceed. “Ya gotta start with letters. Like A-B-C—”

He began singing the children’s song to explain the alphabet, but Spot interrupted. “I already know the letters. Skip ahead.”

He contemplated for a moment then pulled one of yesterday’s papers from his bag. “Let’s practice, then. Point out an A.”

She took the pape and began searching. Her first guess was wrong, confusing an H for an A.

“Here’s the difference.” Race pointed at two similar-looking letters. “It’s an A if they come together at the top, but an H if they don’t.”

Spot nodded, committing the fact to memory. She scanned the page further, then pointed tentatively at a letter she thought was an A. “Is that one?”

Race nodded vehemently. “Yeah! Exactly! Now, what about a B?”

She found it quickly, recognizing the letter as a P with two bumps instead of one. They continued on like this through the rest of the alphabet, stumbling over the difference between M and N and W but otherwise successfully identifying most letters. Then Race told her that every letter also had a small version and she almost gave up on reading completely.

"Let's just work with the big letters for now!” he reassured her. They were halfway to Georgie’s and Spot was getting tired of the mental gymnastics, but she nodded anyway. “Start at the top and just tell me which letters they are.”

And so she did. “T… H?” Race nodded. “E. W-O-R-L-D.”

“Perfect! Now try to sound it out.”

“T” — like the end of “Spot” — “H” — like the beginning of “Higgins” — but Race stopped her there.

“Whenever T and H are together, they sound like ‘th’, like in the middle of ‘together.’”

She nodded and tried again. T. H. “Th…” The last letter in the word was E, which was tricky. It could make multiple sounds. It didn’t feel right to use the sound like elephant, so it must be a sound like in the word eagle. “The? The!”

“The!” Race repeated as he grinned. “Keep going!”

W. “W…” An O, which could also make multiple sounds. She contemplated some more, then was struck by a realization.

She was reading the name of the paper. The World.

“The World! W-world,” she slowly sounded out, emphasizing each individual letter.

The rest of the way to Georgie’s she put sounds together in an attempt to form words, realizing that there were lots of letters that made multiple sounds and that they didn’t always make the sound you thought they would. She was particularly peeved that putting an E on the end of the word could change how the other letters sounded, as she found out when reading a headline that included the word “fire.”

Upon arriving at Georgie’s, Race pointed to a sign in the window. “Try that one!”

Spot already knew what it said — Ice Cream and Sodapop — but sounded the words out to practice. I-C-E — the E on the end made the I sound like the beginning of “ice.” C-R-E-A-M — C and R were easy in this word, but the E and A, she wagered, came together to make the “ea” sound. A-N-D. Plain and simple. S-O-D-A-P-O-P would also have been easy except for the fact that both of the O sounds were different — the O in “soda” was different from the O in “pop.” She would get the hang of it, she knew.

Race started hawking papers while Spot went inside to say hello to Georgie. The bell jingled as she entered, but she didn’t see Georgie behind the counter. She looked down a couple of rows to find him poking his head in the back door.

She smiled and waved. “Mornin’ Georgie! It’s Spot and Racetrack!”

He smiled back at her then gestured for her to follow. She cantered down the aisle and into the alley, where Georgie had clearly been taking stock of a recent delivery.

“Need some help?” she offered.

“Yes, my boy, if you don’t mind.” He gestured to the crates sitting about. “I’ve counted everything out, I believe, I just need some help getting these inside.”

“You got it, Georgie.”

He pointed at one of the crates and said, “This one is the heaviest, and my old bones are giving me some trouble. They’re metal straight razors. If you could take them inside behind the counter and stock them, that would be lovely. There’s a shelf labeled ‘razors’ on the back wall.”

Spot nodded. Now was the time to put her new skills to the test. She grabbed the box and started inside.

Surely she could match up the letters on the shelves to the letters on the boxes if all else failed, but first she wanted to try her hand at reading without Race to help her.

She ducked behind the counter and found the labeled shelves.

Razor. Rrrrrazor. R.

Unfortunately, Georgie’s scrawl was less clean than the letters she read typed out in the paper. But eventually Spot located three shelves that started with the letter R.

Figuring out the next letter she needed was easy.

Razor. R-A.

Two shelves were labeled with R-A. The other, Spot noted, was R-I. She was slowly but surely narrowing it down.

She picked out the letters on the first label. R-A… that damned C with a weird line on it. What had Race said that one was?

R-A-G-S. She sounded it out. “R” like “razor” — “A” like “ace” — “G” like “Georgie” — and “S” like “Spot.” She didn’t think that was how the word was actually pronounced, but whatever it was, it wasn’t “razor.”

Onto the next.

R-A-Z-O-R-S. “R” like “razor” — “A” like “ace” — “Z” like… Spot couldn’t think of anything but “zoo” — “O” like how it sounds in her name — “R” like “razor” — “S” like “Spot.” She didn’t pronounce it quite right the first time, but it definitely said “razors.”

She couldn’t help the smile that darted across her face when she read the word. Razors. And she’d read it all by herself. She stocked the razors on the shelf still smirking.

Georgie insisted on paying her whenever she helped him out, and today was no different. She and Race hawked their papers sipping on sweet apple cider. It proved a pretty uneventful day, but Spot was proud of the strides she had made to better herself, Race providing a helping hand.

R-A-C-E, he’d told her. Race.

#newsies #newsies fic #newsies fanfiction #monikers #spot conlon #race higgins #racetrack higgins #genderbend #fem!spot conlon #fem!spot

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ladyofmind · 7 years ago

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February Games Roundup

Hopefully, you regularly follow the Red Letters characters on their Twitter escapades. But in case you are like me, and can generally only catch up on your Twitter every few days, or are not fans of Twitter, I do like to recap. After all, all those loose characters running around talking can get confusing, and I am not just talking about Malta's Cockney phonetics!

This month, I tried 2 new games and stayed faithful to a few of my favorites.

First up- #CharactersTell hosted by @m_arbanassi saw a few of my characters facing tough questions. From the heartbroken surviving those romantic Valentine questions to one half of a semi-happy couple peppered with questions about marriage and children! These women rolled with all of it to the best of their abilities. We met Tweety and Malta, aka Double Trouble, and also Madam Sofia, and one of her minions.

I have a source that says Male characters are planning on appearing this March, so stay tuned for that, or come back again next monthly round up to meet them all! Just say a little birdy told you ;)

#CharactersTell

2/1- Hello again, Tweet here, main storyteller from the Red Letters series. Generally known as your hostess with the mostess! ;)

2/2- Romantic? Yes, love being a matchmaker for others, and have a great track record there. As for romance and myself? Takes a certain kind of something to turn my head. I love love, even if it isn't my strength…

2/3- I'm not the one that gets in the most trouble… well at least in any relationship way. *giggles* Though I have forgiven the music man ghost I enjoy chasing over his perfect song selections. So I love music and love.

2/4- I like an equal partnership. I call the shots in the bar/club I own and run, so I need an SO that is comfortable with my flirting and spotlight issues. If we work that out, SO can run my off hours all they want…

2/5- I am many things, serial flirt being the top of the list, but Miss Tweety is NOT a cheater. One potentially serious love interest at a time, and when I pick, well I'm open to other conversations, but I'm not the one to cheat first.

2/6- Now that is a secret I don't usually tell… Can't give an edge to the chasers working hard to learn and try me, can I? Let's just say I love a good chill situation, and can't remember the last "date" I was on.

2/7- Always spend V-day in company! I run a bar, and it's a busy party night for us… Wait are you asking if I will have company by night's end? No, that's bad for my reputation, but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't have someone in mind…

2/8- If you don't know who I am, you are in the wrong club. I own Sinful. You will call me Madam Sofia.

2/9- Love? Who said anything about love? It is no longer a weakness I admit to having, and I make many a note of those who do, because nothing fills my little black book better…

2/10- at first, I had a serious relationship with this wounded sort who I liked; until I found out he started "dating" another girl at my club… So I moved on to my guitarist, since he makes my voice sound good…

2/11- Depends… are we talking box of chocolates, or man sized chocolate covered? Also, are you volunteering?

2/12- Honey, lying is part of my business. I am what you want me to be, what you need me to be… for the right price.

2/13- What is wrong with your hearing? You pay me, you can visit one of the girls for the night… wait you mean a date for me? Costs you far more, and it's still here in the club, but at least I will sing for you.

2/14- There is no longer dates worth remembering.. so no... get lost, I am done with your terrible questions. That's what the bubbly (w)itches are for, paid by MY own dime, not making the same money the others do… (rants while walking away, pissed)

2/15- *Wonders by with a teapot* 'ello gov'na! Didn' see you 'here, fancy a cuppa? Wot's 'ha'? Questions? Alrigh', I've go' 'ime while my po' boils… Malta's me name, do as I please is me game, aw wai'ress ifna you mus' label i'.

2/16- (Malta) Crush on Duck? No gov'na, bu' she did 'elp me figure ou' wha' 'o do wi'h 'he big old Sco'. Never me' a bloke befawe who could come close 'o ou'lastin me in a drinkin game… tha''s a good skill you knah?

2/17- (Malta) I don' da'e men. I did recen'ly ge' asked ou' by 'ha' Sco' 'hough, even if I star'ed i' wi'h 'ryin 'o check under 'he kil'… Good 'imes *cackles, fondly touching a flowered hair pin in her curly red hair*

2/18- (Malta my Cockney) Me mum an' dad were no' married, so i' doesn' mean as much 'o me. *checks to see who is listening* Bu' if 'he big bloke wan'ed a mit fasting, I wouldn' say no…

2/19- Blimey no. 'avin any ov me own, no… I'm mawe 'he guardian ov some'hin off 'he stree' 'han from me Jack Jones loins.*Malta shivers at the thought, never really having considered it before*

2/20- (Malta) Faw 'he Sco'? Any 'ime I 'ook a spankin 'ha' led 'o da'e 'imes, wi'h aw wi'hou' par'ners in crime… Faw Duck? Well, well, she 'ells i' be''er, bu' we go' awful close one day, over a stupid necklace…

2/21- (Malta- Cockney) I 'aven' 'ad no breakups. Excep' when 'he Sco' disappeared 'o lick 'is wounds faw a bi'. No' like we were married a' 'he 'ime so i' shouldn' 'ave ma''ered… S'upid male pride 'hinkin 'e knew best… *teapot whistle* Sawry gov'na, 'ha's me 'ea.

2/22- You met my boss, Madam Sofia, earlier in the month. Call me whatever you like love, I can be whoever you want me to be… I bet we have everything in common… Are you single? You're so fine…

2/23- The same it is in your world? I would like to mate once, but I can not find anyone… If I sell myself, then it doesn't feel like love, but if I am not, how else will they like me? All the singing and dressing tight or loose hasn't done it yet.

2/24- ROFLMO of course! Silly! I would like to be married one day… oh you don't believe in marriage? … Yeah, you're right, it's only a piece of paper, marriage doesn't matter.

2/25- That's kinda a big deal around here. Being sexy is part of my job, do you think I am sexy love? What do you like?

2/26- I love nature love! Do you want to go out to the hot tub, and enjoy the stars? Maybe stay there until the birds sing?

2/27- I could totally love that! I'm a Gemini! What's with that face? Are you a Virgo? Is that the problem?

2/28- Magic is so cool! I often think I have an impressive wing span *stretches arms* don't you think? There have been comments on my wolf in heat tendencies, but I can't help that it's practically mating season… Where are you going? Can I come too?

The other continued game this month was #AuthorConfessions hosted by @_JM_ Sullivan and @jjulien25. Another love fest, this time a mix of author, character, and a generally good way to get to know people through their writing. This hashtag game had me working the art skills in the free program Canva to answer a question or two.

#authorconfession D

1- What do I love most? #writing? #music? My family, and friends. Heck even my #librarylife sometimes… not all the time because it is #work, but it's full of books…

2- Very little, I like sweets, and chocolate, but my go to is salty. More chips, less candy.

3- Maybe for a week? We're not really fighters, unless forced into it, so hard to say what might happen in a zombie situation.

4- For my Selfie Sunday pics about my #WIP can usually be found on my Instagram, but this sums it up... #colorful #outlines for the win! Now to #write it...

5- Valentine's day is all well and good, but never has been a huge thing for me… I worked in a flower shop for many years, so V-day was a work day, and if I had a reason to celebrate, it was a different day.

6- The trouble with my MCs is they think they know their greatest desires, and strive for them, until they achieve it (like Woods' music career) but once on the top, they are no longer sure that was their greatest desires… little do they know they want it all!

7- Word count report-

#amediting chapters 1-2 or 650 words total so far, and #amwriting words to fix a few forgotten holes, ditches, cavernous pits, whatever you call it. Not really keeping track of the adds… just page numbers 2/135-150

Roses are red,

violets are blue

my MC is sweet,

but pretty deep too

Told you there's a reason I no longer do poetry 😆

9- Plot bunnies? It's like spring fever over here! Bunnies multiply faster than I can catch them, but there is a system to this! Method to the madness! I hope…

10- #SparkleOn … It's my day off! A Saturday to relax, and catch up on all the things I missed during the long week. Plus an extra day of writing!

11- Too many? There is a kilted char from a @lynsaysands book that was funny and still rolls around my brain….

12- I can't name a specific favorite, but I love good books with good chars that make you laugh and cry as needed…

13- I am kind of in between genres at the moment… I simply write to write because I like to, and the box it is supposed to fit in is not exactly my concern until it has to be… I like reading romance tho…

14- Wait are you asking if I will have company by night's end? No, that's bad for my reputation, but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't have someone in mind…

15- There were a bunch of 90's era #YA sorts of books that got me, terrible titles, but good stories… anyone remember the #LoveStories #series? Full list? -> https://goo.gl/bWHxg8

16- Tell my readers? Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart, you have no idea how much you mean to me, nor how excited I am when I know you have read something. You mean the world…

18- Um.. guess I am good with death in this way… I can't remember a fictional death that stuck with me…

19- No one really dies, most just transition out of the work… There is one death, but it is of a nice old man, nothing violent, just a time thing…

20- Not going to write an epitaph for my books… Feels wrong to me, like allowing myself to give up on them at some point… They will never die… maybe reinvent themselves after a long period away, but nothing written can really die.

21- Night Owl, working on trying to be more middle of the day… Could eventually try being an early writer, but currently not able to pay the steep price of getting out of bed to do it…

22- Usually coffee, or soda… Caffeine…

23-Twitter sparkles because of people like @RW_Hodgson, @Ashleydhansen12, @m_arbanassi being those friends that like tweets, so you don't feel like you're talking to yourself. And @carpekat14, for recently reminding me where I started a few months ago. 💜 to all

24- Each book has a color, and they all fall under the Red Letters theme… Currently working on the split that makes Yellow Days and Sinful Sunrise (orange-y)

25- "I can't believe this ridiculous drivel! It's totally unrealistic, with everything falling into place too easily. I mean who falls into a job in a brothel type night club?"

26- Me, hands down… Antag is emotionless to some degree, MC is one emotional setting presented to people, but some serious stuff going on inside, but as the writer, I have everyone's feelings coursing thru as needed.

27- I write with the range of emotions, but I do like to tickle your funny bone more than making you suffer… does that count?

28- From the writing? Or from the lack of writing and frustrations in relation? Either way, it does make me cry from time to time… Otherwise I am not doing it right.

#StoryWarriors hosted by @writeratops came recommended from #WIPjoy, so naturally, I gave it a go, since there were dual characters. Bebe made her introduction into Twitter here, and well… She's that friend. Bebe and the girls will reappear again at some point, though if you caught #MusicMonday, you might already know they are off to forget about some guys by finding some new ones. You see, as Nira obsessed as Bebe is, she still has a good heart. Between Malta and herself, they have seen who may be coming to town in March games, and they are all about distracting a sister. Triple Trouble are friends first, SO's second, and heaven help the soul caught breaking a heart… So enjoy Bebe's first attempts at Tweeting (yes there are a ton of jokes about Tweety that you guys are spared, trust me, you're welcome) Bebe won't last long before she jumps back in, she had too much fun keeping everyone on their toes…

#StoryWarriors D

1- Hello all! Most days I can be found working in a library, and most nights, I *try* to write books. In the editing and rewriting stage of one book, and the 3rd times a charm rewrite of the sequel…

2- Hello again, Tweety here, Hostess with the Mostest from the Red Letters series… ;) I always say you'll have to come back again to learn more about me!

3- *Bounces into view, possibly on a sugar high* Bebe's the name, bouncer's the game, well at least one of them… *looks around* Why is everyone nervous about this? It's not like they can see my… *Is quickly caught and taken away by Nira*

4- T works in a bar/nightclub, so there is really no desk space that is hers… but you can bet she's found places to hide snacks and notebooks for herself!

5- *no hesitation* Nira. *clarifies question with examples* What? Does no one else use their something like boy toy as a way to get around? What is wrong with you people?

6- I am what you call a picky eater for… reasons… once had a guy turn me off salads for a while, because he was so insistent that I eat the salad over my cupcake sugar fix... learn to let it go, you won't win.

7- I'm good with whatever Tweet puts on the stage, I would give specifics, but there's a name we do not mention, and I may bust on my bestie, but I won't poke THAT wound. Not that crazy or mean.

8- "I love a good corset, pants, heels… well I love all clothes ok. But I always make sure to keep a balance, some skin here and no skin there, for respectability of course." -T "Don't play innocent Tweet, I know you too well" -Bebe

9- I carry in my cargo pockets, or inside my bra. You know, the standard stuff. My ID, some cash, at least one weapon, handcuffs, oh and candy!

10- Why does everyone ask about my room? What's the fascination? I think I get that question as much as I ask what someone's drinking… The room has a lock for a reason, and soon, a keypad too. A lady has to keep her anonymity, or else why come back for the chat?

11- Depending on what the clerk's like, B might not even notice, might cause a scene getting change, or if it's a real crazy day, there may be some acts that would get the clerk arrested for public indecency. It's a good thing B doesn't really shop anywhere... 😟

12- Tweet has a paw print tattoo for a reason… total animal lover. Probably already being followed around by an animal, she would still take this lost one home too.

13- Nira. *is warned about pattern developing in her answers* It's what I do tho... Fine… I may get a bottle of something as an added nightcap… Is that better? You know, you sound like Tweet… Is everyone else a prude type too? 🙄

14- Surely by "attending" you mean "hosting"? I am great with other languages, I may not speak them, but sometimes I understand it and the emotion behind it too. All else fails, a charming smile smoothes many flaws.

15- They don't really need to do that, as they are finally well off, but like quick cash? Well it depends who's around… B would totally help T, there just may be some embarrassment to T that would make B's day.

16- Tweet and break ups… um, sticky issue now of course… but she does have a problem being mean to people that might not deserve it. Tries to let them down gently, also tries not to lead them on from the start…

17- Nira… plays nurse man and makes me soup and other things for the week that I disappear for and am not allowed to discuss in general company… enter at your own risk lol

18- Everyone calls me Tweety Bird, and I don't really mind it… I do flitter around a lot, and there was once this joke about me and a porky pig, but that’s another story for another day…

19- *has a hand over her mouth and plenty of whispers before allowed to answer* fine… I have a talent for drinking games, things that involve whipped cream, and I can strip a man in 5 seconds… (as a bar bouncer?) *giggles wickedly* sure, let's go with that.

20- If I shared my secrets, why would you bother coming back to visit me? Besides, all my secrets go in the book… you can read it for yourself.

21- I really don't know… there was a lot of shy lonely play time growing up, but I didn't find myself until I found my work, and my Nira.

22- That I work too much? I love my job and the life it has given me, but sometimes, just sometimes, I think about vacations.

23- Tweet is my bestie.. I love her, and there is a reason we're double trouble… with Malta, we're a triple threat that no man survives.

24- Oh Sly and I discuss this often. He is so well read, he's like a dictionary. But the book that means the most to me? It's the one full of my patron notes, and quotes, sort of like a diary.

Deciding that maybe you guys might want to know more about me, I threw in one extra game. #Expressoyourself hosted by @chelseadevries, and it was a tough one for me at times, but that is the point of this, isn't it? Get to know the mind behind the characters running wild, get to know a bit about me, to see if you might be interesting in reading my books at some point, right?

#expressoyourself

2/1- Tough one right from the start… My sense of humor? Compassion for others? Fierce protective streak? I'm a work in progress, and grow fonder of it every day.

2/2- To be persistent, but patient. My confidence grows along with my #wip, just like a friendship, and half the fun is in the adventure getting there.

2/3- I may still be on the fringes of it, watching, but I have made some great connections that are already making me think differently, which adds depth and helps me grow as a #writer

2/4- Hard to answer, as everything I have written to date had romance elements, but I would say no, I don't write a story dedicated to romance, just use it as a common vehicle.

2/5- The little mermaid… there may have been a point in my younger life where I may have believed I was said mermaid…

2/6- I pick and choose thru different #writing books… some stick with me, others don't…

2/7- Incomplete? Um 7 maybe 8 or 9? Quite a few are "When I finish #WIP this is next, with pages of notes." Is there a prize or club for 10 or more? Might as well start my entry forms now…

2/8- No, most of my writing is done by typing, but I have tons of hand written notes and edits…

2/9- Any notebook is good… even used to use things like the back of my hand… A short pencil is better than a long memory!

2/10- Funny, and emotional. I write some deep stuff, but try to give a balance, so it is not too heavy or too fluffy in the end.

2/11- Sometimes… Usually start my #writing day by rereading the last few paragraphs, and minor edits are natural, other times I hack it to pieces and fix it to continue.

2/12- Last book I read completely? Dirty Book Club by Lisi Harrison. Neutral about it, since I felt there could have been more to it, or something. Worth the read, just not a full on loved read for me.

2/13- Next book? Flipping through writing books counts? I am on hold and awaiting Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan, because I loved his #NaNoWriMo #peptalk

2/14- #AdrienneBasso isn't on Twitter, but she is a favorite… the rest of my shout outs are for @m_arbanassi, @EdwinaGustafson, @AndrewRoberts66, @patchworknerd, @thelaceylondon, and of course @awakeatlastrock because #music has #writers too.

2/15- Favorite part of the day? When you hit that moment and you know that this time is your free time, and can do what you please. Gotta #relax in between your daily crazy you know…

2/16- Lol more like how do I not procrastinate? Only way I get in the writing zone is with #music. Settles my mind, then helps me set the mood I need…

2/17- I actually don't! Probably should, but I work in a #library so I have my pick and don't think about it much…

2/18- Love… has given me the space to grow into my own confidence, and experience life beyond what I would have done for myself.

2/19- It's odd, and I do not normally recommend books, as people have opinions, but one that I read and enjoyed at a time I needed it was "I regret everything a love story" by seth greenland

2/20- I don't drink much while reading… suppose its because I like to have both hands occupied with the book… just whatever I drink that day I guess.

2/21- Not while reading unless vital to understanding the story.. maybe after the reading time (aka the end of the book) if its not too late or too sleepy

2/22- I already have my US travel companion in mind for book tour, get to see the country that way. Really want to see #London, #Poland, #UK and #Japan among others tho.

2/23- Besides my TBR book pile? My people know I have a thing for #purple, and #TweetyBird.

2/24- The broken and battered appearance deterred many others, who passed it by, but despite the care it needed, I took interest. For inside was a life and story I did not know I needed so. #loveabook

2/25- oh options! Who to pick? Musicians I love? Actors? Writers? I wish my possible future #litagent would find me first, love to chat there…

2/26- The same thing we do every night… Finish writing and editing, to take over the world Pinky! No idea where #PinkyandtheBrain came from… enjoy lol

2/27- Song lyric? @awakeatlastrock #purgatorium "Choices made on this glorious day Will decide your fate so let's play" Really good deep stuff if you think about it.

2/28- To young writers- There will be ups and downs, but never stop. There is something in you that wanted to write, listen to that tiny voice, even if it's like nurturing a dying flame, eventually it will become a fire.

That’s all the games from February... Looking forward to March! Might even play a little Male March Madness, stay tuned, and thanks to all my readers and followers. I hope to have more and more news to share this coming month!

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