#i dunno. it felt like being protected. and then i realized it wasnt to protect ME.

[prowl-autism-extraordinaire]

man. thinking tonight about hope chests and courtship and gourds.

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[bee-cried]

Blues Daydream I had recurringly over the past few days.

I've written some of the daydream down but I never really put together a coherent story, so I'm just retelling it from memory mostly. (Content warning for the mention of sex.)

It starts of with them at like ...13 (?) The RRB are neutral and have befriended the ppg. Bubbles has a crush on Boomer (she starts crushing on him when she's like... 8)

There's a porch swing in this really pretty picnic park that Bubbles likes to visit a lot. It's surrounded by lots of bushes and flowers. She usually sits there by herself until Boomer starts showing up. He usually joins her to show her the songs he's learned on his acoustic guitar (he doesn't have a special musical talent but i love the fanon idea of Boomer being a music fanatic. Its very fitting, so I always imagine that he naturally just ends up gravitating towards music). They'll stay there for hours (especially during the summer) singing songs they know or just talking.

He gets really comfortable with Bubbles and they look forward to seeing one another.

And this scene stuck out to me in my head specifically...

***

Boomer: "Bubbles,  I have to tell you something. "

Boomer: *Kisses her on the cheek.*

Bubbles and Boomer: ...

Bubbles: "What is it that you have to tell me?"

Boomer: *laughs,  blushing* "I only said that as a cover up to kiss you."

Bubbles: "Oh! Well I have to tell you something  too then..."

Bubbles: *Kisses him*

Boomer: *surprised* " You just… kissed me on the lips…"

Bubbles: "I know…" :) "DON'T TELL THE PROFESSOR." (She panics)

Boomer: *Blushing and smug* "I won't. "

They both giggle. He strums his guitar. 

***

Later in the daydream he asks her on a date. She tells the Professor, because she's over joyed but unfortunately, the professor doesnt approve because Boomer is a villain and he doesn't want Bubbles to date a "punk who'll just break her heart."

Bubbles is really upset (she cry's about it) and she ends up trying to sneak out. She tells Buttercup who doesn't really care (until Bubbles involves allowance money.) to cover for her. Later, Bubbles tells Kim, Mary and Robin and they agree to help her sneak out for her first date, saying they'll let her cover by telling the professor she's at a sleepover with Robin.

There's a scene I imagine where all the girls put together money to buy a really pretty spaghetti strapped dress that comes with a white, light material-like shawl that's also like a jacket (i hope you understand what i mean lol.) Anyway, it's really gorgeous and they sneak it in. Kim explains to Bubbles this technique she read in a magazine. She tells Bubbles when Boomer looks at her to untie the shawl "like this" and only wear the dress part.

Bubbles sneaks out on the date with Boomer. They go to like some fun kids place with an indoor trampoline and an arcadia.

***

The night was a little breezy but that was alright since Bubbles figured most of the night would be spent indoors. She saw the arcadia lights come into place and began to steer down. As she landed she spotted Boomer in the usual Hollister shirt and jeans- well actually those jeans looked sort of new. Maybe they were.

He turned to her and smiled at her appearance. She suddenly felt a smidgen bad for having to make him wait so long. If only she didn't have to stay out of sight from the professor. "You actually waited for me?"

"For you, I'd wait until the ends of the universe." He grinned. Her heart pounded.

She blushes as he leads her into the fun place by the hand. Entering her attention was instantly caught by the sounds of the indoor trampoline, ticket counters and all the acrcade games to play. Pop music played over the rush of kids and preteens like her running around.

She smiled in awe, "Wow," she said aloud, eyeing all of her options to play with.

"Pretty cool right?" Boomer said, smiling back at her. She'd felt the heat of their hands at his gentle expression. She'd just realized they were approaching a short line. "It's pretty new. I think it opened last month. I've been eyeing this place for weeks. " he said unable to hide his own excitement.

She blushed and giggled.

Soon they were routed to cubbys to put some of there belongings in.

"Really? Cubbys? It's like we're in fifth grade all over again." Boomer sneers as he sets some items inside. "Well I guess you don't have much to put in but your purse..." His words drifts off as he watches her excitedly undo her shawl, stuffing it into her cubby. "Uh...." He mutters before she grabs his hand.

"Yeah we're sooo old for cubbys now," she agreed grinning. He looks at her, blushing slightly. "Come on!" She exclaims as she tugs him eagerly along towards the trampoline.

***

They go to the trampoline, play games and he even buys her fro yo, they admit to each other that they're their first dates.

***

"So Harry and Julie are definitely dating now." Boomer comments as they watch their friends at the other end of the arcadia play games. Harry looked a little shy but Julie was very open and boisterous.

Bubbles giggled, "yeah, I guess they are." She said as she eyed them. She and Boomer were in the cafe part of the arcadia. They'd picked a table but there were also small booths and a stage at the front.

"I wonder what got them together." Boomer said thoughtfully. "They're so different from each other, I never would have guessed."

Bubbles ate a spoonful of her fro yo, "Maybe. You know what they say, opposites attract." She grinned. He turned back to her, catching her grinning and smiling himself. It was probably they're tenth time they did that tonight. Bubbles didn't know, she wasn't actually counting how many times, she just knew every time it happened it made her heart flutter.

"Y' know..." Boomer started, looking back at his fro yo. "You're the first girl I've ever asked on a date." He said tilting his head a little.

The butterflies in Bubbles stomach made her dizzy, "you're the first boy I've ever dated."

Their eyes met and the sound of the arcadia went fuzzy. She was looking for something else to say but her heart felt like it was caught in her throat-

A high-pitched blare sounded from the speakers, and they both jumped, blushing madly. A tall man took to the stage in front of them.

***

And whaddya know, it's karaoke night.

So Boomer asks her to sing a song on stage with him, even though she's extremely shy. They sing some pop song that's somewhat relevant in the year 2006 (I imagine 'Anything but Ordinary' by Avril but I dunno). It's the first time Boomer hears Bubbles sing and he's really shocked but RUH ROH the professor (and a very guilty looking Buttercup) appear admist the crowd of preteens and ... Yeah, she gets in trouble.

At home, the professor scolds her more (he has good intentions. He really just wants to protect Bubbles.) Bubbles ends up crying because the professor won't 'accept their love'. (There's a scene that plays in my head where Robin shows up and she see's Bubbles crying. Bubbles starts declaring that she doesn't care that Boomer is a Rowdyruff boy she 'loves him'...

***

Bubbles: "And I don't care what anybody else says, he's not that evil! He can't help who his parents are!"

Robin: "I know but... The Professor makes a good point. Are you sure you want to date Boomer?"

Bubbles: *looks at her with a 'really' look through her glossy eyes.*

Robin: "Oh yeah. I forgot. He's been your crush since you were 8 years old. "

***

The next day she goes to talk to him but he's like "uh... Yeah, I actually wanna... Break up." She thinks it's because of how the date ended (Professor was not a happy man when he retrieved Bubbles that night. Also she was wearing a spaghetti-strapped dress. It was too cold outside!) He reassures her its not because of how the date ended, he just... Sort of realized he wasnt really all that into her like he thought he was (?). Also, he has a growing suspension that the Professor hates his guts. And his explanation for why he's suddenly breaking up with Bubbles is ridiculous...

***

"It was more of like... How does Brick put it?" Boomer puts a thoughtful hand up to his chin, "a fleeting moment...?" He smiles in recollection. "Yeah, I think it was just a fleeting moment."

Bubbles looked down at the tile, her voice soft, "But I thought you liked me..."

"I do like you!" He justified, instantly. Then he looked away, a little hesitant, "I just... Just as a friend though." He looks at her, a bit guilt-ridden, "y'know?"

***

...but sadly that's all she can get out of him is that he just doesn't think they'd make a good couple.

Back at home, the professor talks with Bubbles again. He explains to her that he's sorry for berating her. He trusts her to make the right decisions and who she dates shouldn't be decided by him. He encourages Bubbles to date "who her heart says it right for her" but she stuns him by agreeing that Boomer is no good and that she doesn't want to date him.... Or maybe anyone else at the moment.

So going to that porch swing in the middle of the park is never really the same because she's either alone or Boomer is occupying it before she gets there (he's lowkey waiting for her but obviously Bubbles is not in the mood to entertain him anymore.)

Then high school happens and they're in a weird zone of 'we're exes, but are we really exes because we dated when we were 13 and that was only for one day, and we used to be so close before that.' Slowly, they start talking again (they share classes) and Bubbles starts having a crush on him again but then Boomer just HAS to be an oblivious goof and get a girlfriend. Some hot, popular girl from the cheer squad who everyone says looks like Meghan Foxes younger sister, so Bubbles is like "aw poo." But bubbles isn't heartbroken just slightly disappointed.

Well, Bubbles joins the cheer squad and Boomers hot, popular girlfriend who looks like Meghan Foxes younger sister isn't very fond of that. I don't know what Boomers gf name is but she's jealous of Bubbles, as well as, Bubbles relationship with Boomer (the school knows about their middle school fling.) Meghan Fox jr starts shit-talking Bubbles to Boomer or when Boomer is hanging out with her and her friends ("she's literally so weird, the other day I saw her talking to a squirrel." "Does she like *snorts* ever grow up?" "Omg did you see the outfit she put together the other day? She looks and sounds like an overgrown 6th grader") but "surprisingly" Boomer always tries to shut that shit down, and every time Meghan fox jr asks Boomer why he says it's because Bubbles is his friend.

Meanwhile, Bubbles meets this guy accompanying the porch swing one school evening, she goes over and it's Mike. He's been away from Townsville for some time and he's come back because his parents needed to move back awhile and you can sort of see where this is going...

Bubbles and Mike start hanging out a lot. Boomer is taken aback by the relationship Bubbles and Mike has because he starts gaining feelings for Bubbles again. Meghan Fox jr tries to isolate Bubbles from the cheer squad because she suspects her boyfriend is more into Bubbles than her. School dance happens, school dance shenanigans. There's a talent show in there somewhere that Bubbles agrees to perform a song with Boomer for their partners. Valentine's day shits. And other small scenarios... But through all this time Boomer is regaining those feelings he once had for Bubbles and he becomes a lot more jealous.

Meghan Fox Jr's antics become a lot more mean-spirited as well. (Especially during junior year The principal has to step in and Bubbles ends up leaving the squad on her own terms. ) and after that huge occurrence, Boomer is completely turned off by Meghan Fox jr. He breaks up with her.

Unfortunately, he's kicked from his friend group and a lot of rumors are spread about Boomer (most likely by Meghan Fox jr.) Boomer and Meghan Fox jr had a very.... Affectionate(?) relationship...

Basically, when your parents don't really care about what you do in your free time or who you hang out with, and you're young and curious and you have an attractive bf/gf, sex can happen. And sex was what made Boomer and Meghan Fox jr stay together. She uses that after they break up to harass him though.

Uhm, Mike's parents have to move again, so he and Bubbles agree it's best if they broke up before he moves away.

Okay. So back at square one. Bubbles and Boomer are single and they like each other- well really, Boomer likes Bubbles. Bubbles admires him, but now she's over the crush thing lol.

So now Boomer is set on Bubbles. He ends up revisiting that porch swing only to find Bubbles is there. (During his relationship with Meghan Fox jr. he avoids it. Partially because he's in a relationship and also because when Bubbles and Mike are together, they usually occupy the swing.) Again they swing and sit for hours like when they were younger.

He finds his new growing attraction is unbearable in the sense that, there is a constant attraction he has to her that he can't manipulate. He goes through a lot of inner turmoil trying to find out why he likes her even though she's clearly over him, so shouldn't he be the same? He's fighting the attraction, trying to ignore it but the more they hang out the more it grows. And that continues into the summer before they're seniors.

With a lot more free time, they spend more time together but it's usually outings with their friends (unless he meets her in the park on the porch swing). Their bond continues to build but Bubbles is unsure if he likes her, and he's unsure if she likes him and then my brain just skips to a night when they're on the swing...

***

Boomer strummed his guitar as the crickets sung around them, the swing light dim. He suddenly stops his strumming, "Hey remember when you kissed me? When we were 13?"

Bubbles laughed and covered her lips, her cheeks colored slightly, "that was so long ago." She turned her eyes to him, "when we were kids."

"Oh yeah. And that epic date I took you on." He recalled. She shoved him light-heartedly.

"You dated me for a day and left me broken-hearted for two months." She grinned smug.

Boomer's eyes widened, "2 months? You were that into a dumb kid like me?"

"Of course I was," she said her eyes, not on him but looking at the stars above them. The night was beautiful and warm. She drew her knees on the swing as she gazed up. " I always liked you... Ever since we were kids I kinda..." He watched as she giggled awkwardly and her cheeks became even redder. She finally shrugged and turned her gaze to him, "I kinda told my friends I was in love with you."

He thought this over as their eyes locked. His heart felt like it was going to jump through his chest.

She looked back at the stars, "I even told the Professor." Her eyes had a small shimmer in them. "It was-" she scoffed and dropped her head, shaking it, "it was so stupid honestly."

He wanted to touch her hand, but it was wrapped around her knees, holding them together. He thought of all the things he could do. He could rest his arms on the seat, almost on her shoulders. He could scoot closer until they were touching. He could fiddle with the shoelace of her shoe.

Instead, he scoffed as well and turned his attention to the neck of his guitar, hoping she couldn't tell he was blushing. "Yeah. We were pretty dumb."

***

They end up talking about their childhood and one thing leads to another and they kiss. But nothing interrupts them so it's just awkward and they say bye.

Eventually, they start dating and yeaaaaah... If this were going to be a fic, I pretty much spoiled it lmao. But i wanted to share that with you guys cause i know there are other blues stans out there and we don't get that much love in the "more serious" fanfic department so I know every little thing adds up 😌👌

I honestly wish i could stay committed to writing a fic but i have horrible self-discipline and initiative D: Sorry y'all but i hope you enjoyed it c:

[brelione]

Not as Terrible (Rafe Cameron X Routledge!Reader)

Warnings:Not proof read, swearing

Being John.B’s older sister was definitely and adventure.You were only older by a year but that one year age gap did a lot for you.Whether it was arguments or discussions on who would do a dangerous task you could always pull the older sibling card.

Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnt but it was always worth a shot.But then again being the older sibling and John.B’s only family meant that you had other responsibilities,including messing up anyone that messed with him.

Rafe kissed you gently, a grin on his face. “I love you.”He grinned,hands in your hoodie pocket. “I know.I gotta go soon,JB’s gonna get made at me.”His face fell,pouting. “He shouldnt be your responsibility.”He grumbled,holding you tight.

You simply shrugged, not wanting to go through your life story and how it was now your job to take care of him.He could never understand the situation, he didnt really give a damn about Sarah.He also had a father, a shitty one for sure but he still had a father at least.He couldnt understand being a pogue either.

You guys were completely different in pretty much every way imaginable but ‘opposites attract’ or whatever bullshit. “I know….I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”You asked,sitting up.He nodded,pulling you into another quick kiss before kissing your forehead lightly.

 “Dont forget to hate me.”You reminded him,opening his window and sliding down the fire escape,feeling his eyes on you as you hopped the fence.He sighed, becoming tired of the little game you guys had to play.

Because Rafe was the direct enemy of your brother and his friends that meant that you were supposed to avoid him entirely.It was just the rules of life.But that being said if you ever came across one of your brothers enemies you had to mess with them.

That included messing with Rafe,randomly showing up and flicking the back of his head,disappearing before he knew it was you.It started as you being an annoying presence to ruin his day,spitting gum onto his windshield or placing fake tickets on his car.

But slowly you started falling in love with him because of course you did.It was fucked up but you couldnt stop it, him eventually falling for you too.Thats when this little game began, sneaking out of your house and over to Rafe’s to cuddle and watch movies together,coming home late at night when John.B and his friends were having a fire.

JJ would pull you onto his lap, asking where you had been.He had a thing for you, claiming that it would be fine if the two of you guys got together because you were only eight months older than him so it wasnt that strange.

The age gap itself wasnt strange, it was the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for the last eight years that made things strange.You were fine with sitting in his lap while he whispered jokes into your ear in attempts to get you to laugh.

Of course it felt a little wrong because you were dating Rafe but you couldnt exactly tell him that without John.B finding out too, instead just letting JJ mess around with you because you knew nothing was going to come from it.

The next day you were decided to go with them to the beach, regretting it when you saw Rafe with Topper and Kelce, sitting in beach chairs with beer bottles in their hands.You saw JJ’s jaw clench, John.B rolling his eyes.

 “Why are they here?This isnt fair.”You brother grumbled, Pope nodding in agreement.The five of you decided to sit in the sand for a while,JJ’s hand on your knee almost like he was trying to protect you from Rafe’s eyes.If only he knew.Rafe kept looking over to you, a blush on his cheeks as he did so.

Eventually they left, leaving you and your brothers friends alone on the beach. “You know, I think im just gonna head back home.I have a headache.”You told them, making your way up the sandy hills before they could question it.As you began your walk down one of the dirt streets to get back to the house a bike pulled up next to you, your boyfriend being the one riding it.

 “Hey pretty girl.”You could practically hear the smile through his helmet.You sighed, stopping your walk to stare at him as he took off his helmet,leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “You coming to my house tonight?”He asked, twisting the fabric of your tshirt.

You shrugged, not sure what your brother was going to be doing. “I dont know if I can, John.B and the others might want me to go get groceries with them or something.”You replied,feeling his grip on you tighten,humming. “I havent messed with them in a while.”He muttered, glad when you smiled. 

“Thats good, I would have beat your ass if you did.”You teased with a roll of your eyes. He chuckled,kissing your forehead. “I would've liked it though.”He admitted.You laughed,smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”You grumbled, unaware of JJ watching you guys. 

“Is he bothering you?”JJ asked, coming out from his hiding spot in the trees.Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening.Shit. “Uh...no, everythings fine, JJ.Just go back to the beach.”You told him,hoping you didnt sound too suspicious.His blue eyes fell to your hand, the one that was holding Rafe’s.Fuck. 

“Is something going on that I should know about?”He asked,glaring at Rafe like he was trying to make his head blow up. “No, just go back to the beach.”You told him, a sort of assertive tone to your voice that was reserved for John.B when he wanted to do something dangerous.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, not used to you speaking to him like this.

He nodded,walking away, sending you a look of disappointment before disappearing into the trees, most likely about to tell John.B what he had just seen.Rafe noticed how uneasy you were,hugging you. “Hey, dont stress about it.He’s got nothing on you, whats he gonna do?Complain that we were having a conversation?”He asked, not really helping.

“So I just saw (Y/N) talking to Rafe.”JJ grabbed a beer from the cooler, all eyes falling on him. “Cameron?”John.B asked, not really believing that you’d ever talk to such a vile human being.JJ nodded,sipping the alcoholic drink.

 “They were all over eachother, it was weird.”He grumbled, a slight jealousy in his voice.Kiara raised her eyebrows, a little mad about the situation. “What do you mean they were all over eachother?”She asked, looking over to Pope.

 “I mean they were holding hands and shit,giggling and he was like,I dont know.Its weird.”He tried his best to explain,realising it didnt sound as serious as it was. “(Y/N) doesnt giggle...she just...she just stares at people.Are you sure it was Rafe?”Pope asked.This was out of character for you.You had joined their conversations before, all of you talking shit about the Cameron family.

You had called Rafe a “Cruel, disgusting bitch.” it didnt make sense that you’d willingly talk to him.Meanwhile you were on the back of Rafe’s bike,arms wrapped around him tight as he pulled into his driveway, trying to figure out the best way to sneak you inside.

You ended up being hidden by him as you guys shuffled up the stairs, nearly getting caught by Ward.Luckily he was too busy on a call, not paying attention at all as Rafe pushed you inside his room, locking the door with a sigh. “What do you wanna watch?”He asked,falling on the bed next to you, grabbing the tv remote.

You shrugged,wrapping an arm around him with your head against his chest. “Doesnt matter.”You replied, watching as he picked a random horror movie,knowing that hed probably end up squealing and holding onto you.Your phone dinged, vibrating against your thigh.

You sighed,picking it up to check what someone could want or why they were trying to talk to you.It was a text from Kie, asking why the hell you were at Rafe Cameron’s house.There was no way in hell she actually knew that, she was probably just guessing.You sat up,taking Rafe with you, his chin on your shoulder and a frown on his face.

You:????

Kie:Your snap map is on.What are you doing with Rafe?

You:Im not with Rafe

Kie:Seriously like are you ok

You:Im fine lol

Kie:But why are you with Rafe?

You sighed,turning to look at the kook king. “What should I tell her?”You asked, unsure what to do.If you told her that you in Rafe were dating then she would obviously tell John.B and that meant that you would be in deep shit and would never hear the end of it.He sighed,kissing your shoulder lightly.

 “I dunno, baby.Tell her whatever you feel comfortable telling her.”That wasnt really helpful.You couldnt exactly lie to her.There was no other reason that you’d be at the Cameron’s mansion if it werent for Rafe.You hated Sarah because Kiara hated Sarah so you couldnt exactly use that excuse either.You were anxious the whole time you typed, praying that she wouldnt tell the others.

You:Can you keep a secret?

Kie:Yeah

You:What would you do if I told you I was dating Rafe?

Kie:You dumb idiot

Kie:Rafe??Really?Out of all people?

Kie:Hoe you could do better

Kie:So like youre cool with him hitting JJ and Pope?

Kie:Shit you need to tell JJ

You sighed,biting the inside of your cheek. “Why do you need to tell JJ?”Rafe asked,curious.You groaned,leaning against him. “He’s got a thing for me.”You explained, hoping you hadnt made him feel insecure.

You:He’s nice to me,ok?Plus he hasnt beat anyone in months and im happy and I just need you to not say anything

You waited for an answer, only seeing a ‘read’ receipt. “Shit.”You sighed, realizing that you had probably made the wrong decision by telling her about your relationship. “What?”He asked, not understanding exactly what had happened. 

“Watch her tell everyone.”You tossed your phone down onto the blanket, laying on top of your boyfriend. “It wouldnt be so bad,would it?”He asked, knowing that you were probably embarrassed to be with him. “I just...you know how they feel about you.”you reminded him, hearing him sigh. 

“I know.”He replied as he rubbed small circles along your stomach. “Im trying to change though.”He muttered, pressing a kiss to your neck.You nodded, understanding. “I know you are but they dont.”You grumbled,your leg resting at his hip as he continued leaving kisses down your neck.

You didnt leave until four in the morning, staying up with him the whole night.Ward and Rose had gone out on a date, leaving the two of you with his house to yourselves.You sat on the kitchen counter,your legs around his waist as you shared a pint of icecream.

 “This is the expensive kind.”You noticed,coming across brownie chunks and bits of chocolate truffle.He smiled, nodding. “Yep, its just kook life I guess.”He replied, not really caring. “This shit is like...ten dollars a pint.”He only laughed, not understanding how you hadnt grown up with the same things he had.

He just couldnt wrap his head around the fact that not everyone was like him.You couldnt exactly blame him, he had been isolated most of his childhood and if he wasnt by himself he was surrounded by kooks. 

“You can go to the grocery store with me next week if you want.We can get all the expensive icecream you want...maybe we can get some for John.B too, you know, to win him over.”He explained his idea.You shrugged, not sure how to feel. 

“You dont even do your own grocery shopping, remember?”You asked, seeing him roll his eyes. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you, baby.We can get cookie dough and mix it into brownie batter.”He continued,scooping another spoonful of icecream.You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it.It sounded fun but most grocery stores wouldnt be open at the times you were with Rafe.

“I gotta go, i’ll see you tomorrow though.”You promised,kissing him quickly.He backed away to let you slide off the counter, putting your phone in your pocket. He tugged at your t shirt, bringing you close to him so he could place a kiss on your lips, enjoying the feeling that he knew he wouldnt feel for a day at least.

He knew that the second you left his happiness would leave with you, making his mood a bit dull as he hugged you.“Do you want icecream to go?”He offered.You were quick to shake your head, leaving quick so you could get home.He pouted, wishing you two could be together more often.

You tip toed into the house,turning on your bedroom light only to see The Pogues all sitting in there, staring at the door. “Rafe Cameron?”John.B asked, sitting up on your bed.You sighed, sitting down. 

“Really,Kie?”You asked, looking over to the brunette. “JJ took my phone!”She exclaimed, making your eyes travel to JJ. “Are you serious?”You asked the blonde, noticing him pouting. 

“I thought he should know.”He muttered.Pope just seemed mad. “How long has this been going on?”Your brother asked, glaring at you. “Im not doing this right now.”You shook your head, going to leave the room when he grabbed your wrist.

 “(Y/N).What would dad think?”He asked.You scoffed, unable to believe that he went there. “Dad would want me to be happy, unlike you.He hasnt bothered you guys in months!Cant you see that he’s changed?”You asked,all of them avoiding eye contact.

 “No!People like Rafe Cameron cant change, (Y/N)!Do you think he actually likes you?”John.B asked, regretting it the second it left his lips. “Oh, fuck you!”You exclaimed, leaving the room and slamming the door behind you. 

“What the hell, John.B?”Kiara shouted, angry with her friend. “I didnt mean it like that!Lets give her a minute to cool off.”John.B grumbled, feeling JJ and Pope glaring at him.

 “What the fuck is wrong with you?”Pope asked, just as angry as JJ.John.B just sat, listening to their cursing and anger. “I didnt mean it!”John.B shouted eventually, tired of their yelling.JJ shook his head, going to find you.

You werent in the bathroom or living room, leading him to think that maybe you had left until he looked out the kitchen window.He saw you in the hammock, leaving the house with a slam of the screen door and going to lay down next to you. 

“What do you want?”You asked, not looking at the blonde. “Does he really make you happy?”JJ asked,waiting patiently for your answer.You nodded, turning to look at him. “Very much, yeah.”You answered,seeing a grin on his face. 

“So then why does it matter what we think?I mean, im definitely the better choice here but if he makes you happy then go for it.”He chuckled, looking over to the house. “John.B is mad.”You muttered, wrapping your arms around JJ’s torso as the sun began to come up.

 “He’s always mad, doesnt matter.If he can hook up with girls all the time I dont see why you cant have a healthy, loving relationship.It seems dumb to me.”He shrugged.You laughed quietly, not understanding when JJ became a life coach. 

“Yeah, I agree.I just dont want him to be mad at me, you know?Its not like if he’s mad at you, you can just leave the house but I cant.Im stuck with that bitch all the time.”You ranted, earning a small laugh from him. 

“Yeah, true.I think you should just live your life how you want to live it.If you want to be with Rafe then be with Rafe.Personally im not a fan of him but that doesnt mean I can just control your relationships.I mean, youre right.He hasnt really bothered us in months and I havent seen him around The Cut looking for trouble so maybe he has changed.As long as its healthy and everything is consensual.Everything is consensual,right?”He asked, looking down at you.

You hadnt really seen this side of JJ before, usually only seeing his flirty and joking side. “Of course.”You replied, flicking his stomach. “Right, so thats good.If John.B’s mad then that sucks but there’s nothing you can do about it.”He sighed, staring up at the sky through the tree branches. 

“Are you mad?”You asked, curious for his answer.He bit his lip, thinking about it. “No, not really.I just cant believe you like him of all people.”He chuckled, feeling you flick his head. “I didnt like him at first, it kinda just happened.”You replied.JJ nodded, not saying anything else.

You fell asleep in the hammock next to JJ,waking up at noon.There was a note on the kitchen table saying that they had all decided to go out on the boat for the day and that there was pepsi and yogurt in the fridge.You could tell by the handwriting that Pope had written it, everyone else had probably forgot about you.

At eight the next night things werent as tense as they had been before.John.B had even driven you to Rafe’s house, ranting about safe sex and telling you to give Rafe a slice of ‘humble pie’.You rolled your eyes,getting out of the van and telling him to fuck off before walking up to Rafe’s front door, knocking lightly.

He told you that you didnt have to climb through his window anymore.Since you had to tell the pogues about your relationship he had decided to tell his family about it as well which meant he didnt have to hide you anymore.

John.B watched from the van as Rafe embraced you in a hug, smile on his face as he kissed your forehead.He had never seen Rafe look like that, the only smile he’d ever seen on Rafe Cameron was the kind that belonged to an angry sociopath.

But now he kind of just looked like a squishy, smiling gremlin.You and Rafe stood in the doorway for a moment, talking about how things had gone with John.B.Rafe had noticed the van sitll in the driveway, sending a quick and awkward brave towards your brother.A grin came across John.B’s face as he backed out of the driveway.Maybe you dating the Kook King wasnt as terrible as he thought.

@sexytholland​ @28cnn​  @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel​ @jj-iz-bae​

@sunwardsss @meaganjm​  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj​ @joshy-obx​ @prejudic3​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless

[wolfsgravity]

I can’t sleep so I’m just thinkin’ about my range of Pokémon romantic F/Os. This series has meant so much to me for so long, and I know F/Os from that source make up a decent portion of my list. I’d feel more embarrassed about it if I didn’t make it abundantly clear that Pokémon is one of the most pervasive influences in my life from an exceedingly young age.

I just. I dunno. I find my collection of Pokémon series F/Os so interesting.

I’m just gonna ramble a bit.

I’m going to talk in Generational order, because my 1am brain couldn’t decipher a more cohesive timeline if it tried.

Giovanni is a funny one. As a kid, his character in the show intimidated me a little. But I really loved Team Rocket on some level. They were my first Pokémon villain organization, and with the Gen III games having Aqua and Magma, I decided pretty early that Team Rocket was my team. I had a stint in Magma since when I was young, I thought I’d specialize in Fire types, but eh it didn’t stick. No team really stuck nearly as much until Team Skull! So I had a lot of time for my intimidation from Giovanni to evolve into a fearful respect, to a mild devotion… by the time I played Let’s Go! and Ultra Moon, I was more than a little excited to see him in game. As in, I would quietly cheer when he appeared on my screen, in some weird giddy manner. It was only a matter of time before I realized I was crushing hard.

Steven Stone (he has a full name so more often than not I use it when referring to him) probably didn’t make the biggest impact on me in the original Gen III games? Hoenn was my favorite region for a while (in part due to pre- “Hoenn confirmed” hype), but he didn’t have a huge role in Ruby/Sapphire. Maybe I noticed him first in Emerald? I wish I could remember my real first inkling of crush on him, because I just remember when I played Omega Ruby… I was already obsessed with him. He showed up for the first time in game and I squealed. I spent the whole game seeking him out and already making romantic passes at him in my around-19-year-old head.

I am counting Grovyle for this, but it bears repeating that my S/I for the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games is a Pokémon too. Those Mystery Dungeon games enamored me as a teen! I got to BE! A POKEMON!! So I probably got Explorers of Time/Darkness for DS not long after it released in 2008. I was so excited to have Gen IV Pokémon to be and battle and recruit, ugh, this game meant so much to me. I will always remember being part of Wigglytuff’s Guild super fondly. And like, as I am super susceptible to mental role play, putting myself in my characters shoes (or lil toe beans I guess) has always been second nature for me. So a dashing Grovyle just jumped into my silly life and was the most honorable and misunderstood character and I am not even joking when I say I fell for him in my first playthrough. And I’ve played through it a lot. I was always jealous of Celebi. I hate every Dusknoir I see to this day. *chefs kiss* Good game.

Gen V is “oops all F/Os” Gen, where to even start..

Just kidding, N is the obvious choice to start for me. He was love at first sight. He just, ugh, he cares about Pokémon SO MUCH. I literally don’t know how to even expand on this. He literally rode the Ferris Wheel with the player character in the game, and I WASNT supposed to interpret that as a date? Wack. It was a date. I love him so damn much. Next question

Elesa comes next because I’ve always thought she was stunning. I mean, duh I guess, she’s canonically a model. Also, Electric types are in my top 3, behind Fairy and somewhat tied with Fire, so she was a woman after my own heart. Her Emolga kinda wrecked my team and I respect that. Also, she loves puns. So again. Woman after my own heart. The only reason she’s still listed as Crush and not as Dating is because she intimidates me. She’s out of my league and I worry she’d only see me as a friend. Well, not “only”, her and Skyla are bffs and that also looks fun. I just. Can’t imagine her romantically being interested in me sometimes. Heh.

Grimsley was a crush that came on yeeeaaaars after his Gen, and it hit me like a freight train. I swear, he made very little impression on me in B/W, because I was young and I was just excited to possibly see N again as champion. I was a little shit, okay. I also never played B2/W2 all the way through, which is a huge stain on my Pokémon record. Anyways. When he showed up in Sun/Moon, I gasped. I was like, that’s a familiar face. Why is he hot now? (The answer is we was always hot, and I just had a few years to grow between games). But like, I kind of tamped it back down? I think I legit tried to tell myself around Sun/Moon era that I can’t keep finding Pokémon characters hot, because I was drooling over another one in Moon. Anywho. Grimsley kept popping up as fanart on my Tumblr dash for a while and by the time I pulled him in Pokémon Masters, I slipped into love. Whoops.

Professor Sycamore, probably not my proudest moment of fandom. He was another one I liked from the very introduction. I made fun of him in equal measure, but I affectionately referred to him as “Professor Hotdad” for an embarrassingly long amount of time. He’s not even the oldest of my Pokémon F/Os. One of my other Pokémon F/Os is canonically a father. But nope. Sycamore was Hotdad. That all said, he did make me smile like a crush-stricken schoolgirl when he talked in game so it wasn’t all just memey objectification. I do love him dearly.

Gen VII! Alola! Guzma! Oh man, like I’d stated earlier, Team Skull really nestled it’s way close to my heart the way no team had since Team Rocket. It wasn’t all because of Guzma, I really did like the group of ragtag misfits banding together and creating a family. Guzma was icing on the cake. Oh boy, he made my heart do funny little flips even when he was threatening me in game. I loved his design, I loved his character, the way he talked, I just. Ugh, I was down bad for ya boy in Moon and Ultra Moon. He’s actually the inspiration behind my main blog url: its-ya-boi-remington. The “Y’all are stupid!” line and face lives in my head rent free at all times. Guzma protection squad.

(Nanu isn’t a romantic so I won’t talk about him here, just know I’m not forgetting him!)

Leon was, believe it or not, my actual first Gen VIII crush. I saw that fashion disaster and felt a warm comfort from him. It didn’t help that I mentally read every character in Galar with some UK/British Isles accent, that sweetened the deal. I was actually gushing to a couple then-friends about Leon while we all played Sword/Shield together and they kind of mocked me about it. They chided me that Leon “doesn’t bat for my team” and said either of them would have a better chance with him if he were real. So I was a little downtrodden about Leon after that for quite a while. It wasn’t until a couple months ago when suddenly it hit me that A- He’s literally fictional and my version of him can like me regardless of what “team he bats for” and B- I’m nonbinary? So rules get thrown out the window, anyone who likes me is both a miracle and some kind of gay whatever way you spin it. So I let myself warm back up to him, though I’m still a little skittish from before.

Piers, I guess, as awful as it sounds, was initially a crush rebound. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’d have been attracted either way. He’s a musician, a SINGER no less, and has that emo/punk vibe. But he’s also gentle and kind. Swoon. But it helped that I had my crush-feelers out full-force for a cutie in game to obsess over since I was still butthurt about my “friends” killing my crush on Leon. Obsess I did, and continue to do. I could probably snap this man over my knee like firewood he’s so lanky, idk why I put that in here but it’s staying. Piers is the one I most imagine jamming out with on a regular basis, and it makes performing for no one a bit more fun 🥰

I’m finally getting tired, I feel like I’ve been typing this for an hour. I probably have been. Ah geez now I gotta tag all these F/Os lmao. Thanks for letting me ramble.

[attina-the-responsible]

36 Questions that Lead to Love ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-percy

In which Attina and Panic get to know each other a little better...[takes place: sometime in early July]

[tw -- talk of death]

ATTINA: Andrina had been right: there was a lot about Panic that she didn’t know. 

She had once thought that she knew most of it, if not all of it. Which was a nice feeling when it came to a significant other--she usually didn’t know them very well before she dated them. Panic had been her friend for years before they started anything. However, most of it had been a lie. Panic had used Percy’s life, obviously, to lie about his own (though, not entirely a lie, since he had lived most of those experiences alongside Percy.) 

But--she wanted the truth.

Especially if she was going to tell Panic that she was a mermaid.

Which meant she had cajoled him into 36 Questions -- How to Fall in Love.

They were sitting on the couch in her apartment, cocktails on the coffee table, having just finished dinner. Attina’s painted toes buried in the cushion on Panic’s other side, her smooth legs across his lap. Her other hand held a pencil (for notes! she’d told him brightly when he’d asked) and a clipboard with the questions attached. 

“Alright!” she said brightly, “first question: if you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be? I’d invite Charlie Veron. He’s a marine biologist who has discovered the most types of coral reefs and he’s just–super passionate and interesting. I’ve read all his books.”

PANIC: Panic had agreed to a number of things that he didn’t know what to do with anymore. 1. To tell all the Tritons he was a demon. 2. To ‘date’ the sisters to maybe they would let him in on their secret. 3. To talk about 36 questions that lead to love.

He hated the feeling in his chest for the first two. The last one. Well that was simple. That was something he could do without feeling like his world was collapsing. 

“Gordon Ramsay, If I can either eat his food or have him taste mine well I think that would be something to write home about.” Panic answered glancing at the questions. “Would you want to be famous and what for?  Nah, I wouldn’t want to be. It’s way too much pressures and eyes. It would be cool to be known as a chef but I don’t like the thought of my name, everywhere. Or well not my name but Percy’s.”

ATTINA: Attina smiled.

Gordon Ramsay was what he’d said the first time (well, the way that Percy had said it), though his answer changed slightly. And the way he answered made Tina feel awful for not realizing--how had she not realized?--that the first time she’d done this, it wasn’t with Panic?

“I mean--I’d like to be a conservationist, but no one is ever really famous for that.” She shrugged and stole the paper back, scribbling a note and then continuing. 

“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why? Eh--not really. Only if I’m ordering take out for like...everyone.” By everyone, she meant her family, of course. “Or if it is something important. Not that I have important phone calls a lot, I just wing it, usually. You?” 

PANIC: A conservationist. It fit her. He imagined her as one, he imagined her helping as she wanted to. He imagined her getting out of here so she could experience it, see it, protect it. It made him smile. It made him have big dreams for her.

“Maybe you could be famous in the community. Small time famous.” Panic mused as the paper left his hands laughing as she scribbled away.

“I used to. I would be so worried I’d say the wrong thing. Sometimes it would be before in-person conversations too.” Panic explained with a shrug not even taking the paper this time just leaning over. “ What would be your perfect day?” Panic leaned back as he hummed about it. “Breakfast in bed, a late start to the morning. Fancy restaurant at night and I dunno what’s in the middle.”

ATTINA: Attina didn’t really acknowledge the ‘famous in the community’ comment, because, well--they both knew that wasn’t for her. It wasn’t going to happen. No matter what, she couldn’t leave Daddy behind, even if all her sisters left, one by one by one by one by one by one. 

Attina would stay. 

Because she felt obligated to, but also, because she was scared.

Her head tilted at Panic’s answer, and it made her wonder--and it made her curious. Was this because of the demon thing? Panic didn’t want people to know he was different? Or was he more shy than Attina had thought? She reserved her questions, though, they were only on four--if she didn’t find out the answer later on, she’d ask them. 

“No idea what’s in the middle?” Attina raised an eyebrow. “Leave it to you to center the day around food.” She poked his thigh with her foot from where her legs were still stretched over his.

“For me? A day with my family--and you, of course. Well--okay, so--breakfast in bed, definitely. Then a lazy start to the morning, maybe a swim in the ocean. This is all taking place at a beach house. A big lunch with everyone I love. More swimming, maybe some shopping--no good day is complete without a little shopping, maybe some pampering too. Then, yeah, a nice dinner. Maybe quiet, for you and me.” She smiled at him, thought about it for a second more, and then nodded with finality. 

“When--did you last sing to someone else? To yourself? Er, well--I don’t...sing that much. Well, I do, but not really. I sing when I clean sometimes or am cooking or with my sisters in the car.” She used to sing a lot more, her shoulder shrugged a little. “Yeah, haven’t serenaded anyone in a while, though,” she joked, lamely. 

PANIC: Panic laughed because he knew he deserved the jab. He didnt care what happened in the middle as long as he was with people he cared about. That would be enough for him. Easily his perfect day could be swimming in between great meals.

Seeing someone he loved happy had to be part of his perfect day too. He just wasnt going to be that sappy outloud. 

Panic grimaced at the thought of someone hearing him sing though. "Sing to someone probably never. I dont think you want to hear me sing. I'll just pretend to mouth the words while I shower ot something." Panic joked. "But feel free to serenade me any day." And with each word he leaned closer to her until he could steal a kiss then glanced at the paper like nothing happened. "Would you want to live to 90 with the body or mind of the 30 year old for those 60 years." 

"I'd say mind. I mean it's also kind of hard to consider because of what I am. It's better to have ones mind and shift to control other forms than lose your mental strength."

ATTINA: Attina blushed and giggled as Panic leaned in for a kiss, letting it happen, the sound of it popping like bubblegum in the air.

She wasn’t going to sing for him, though. Not any time soon.

Her nose wrinkled a little and she tilted her head, listening to his answer while alaso trying to decide her own. She was--honestly a little surprised that he would say mind over body, since, from her understanding, the body was an important part of Panic’s whole...thing. But, when he explained it, it made sense. At least...she thought it did. 

She pursed her lips, trying to figure out how she felt about what he’d said, because it was pragmatic, but it also got to the root of the problem: Panic’s body was not his own.

“I think--mind for me too. I mean...part of me wants to say keep the body, but I figure that’s the shallow answer. And what is the point if I don’t remember who I love?”

“Do you have a secret hunch about how you’d die?” Attina chewed her lip, brow furrowed, but she nodded too. “Yeah, I mean, I always kind of had this feeling like...I am gonna die really horribly, y’know? I don’t know why…”

She did. Her mother’s death. The way mermaids were treated in the world. The very real threat of brutal murder hanging over her head day after day.

“Maybe it’s because my sisters and I always talk about the best deaths in horror movies or something.” She laughed off the moroseness.

PANIC: Shallow was fine to him too. After all people liked being shallow. It wasn’t like Panic wasn’t happy that Percy was a good looking guy. Not that Panic would have ditched him if he wasn’t but still he liked it. 

“Why is it fun to imagine or talk about the best deaths in horror movies?” The thought of it made Panic grimace. Gruesome deaths would be painful and it was defintely a way people choose to torture people in the underworld. “I dunno, being sent back would be a death of a life in a way and for a long time I imagined that I guess.” Panic explained.

ATTINA: Attina just shrugged a little at his question. She didn’t really know the answer to that. It was, more or less, a defense mechanism, she figured against the very real horrors of what her family faced.

Couldn’t say that though!

Moving on.

Listening to Panic, Attina frowned and found her hand moving over to touch his shoulder and then the hair at the base of his neck. It was such a...strange thing to think about. Honestly, Attina tried not to most days, because it still felt so...strange. Panic--a demon. Panic--coming from the Underworld. Despite being a mermaid, despite growing up in Swynlake, despite the level of fantasy she consumed--all of this felt far too fantastical for Attina.

That was why she was doing this, though. She was trying to be brave. 

“Is it really that bad?” she asked softly--not really sure if she wanted the answer or not.

PANIC: Panic shrugged pursing his lips and moving his attention from his girlfriend to the ceiling. Did they want to go into it? Sure Panic had been the one to bring it up but he never shared theses things. It wasn’t something he ever dealt with. Even with Percy they didn’t talk about his past.

“Depends I guess on who you are. There are those that torture and those that are the targets.” Panic admitted hoping she would be able to tell which of them he was. He didn’t think it was that hard to tell why he had run away.

ATTINA: Attina frowned at that, and she was glad she’d taken what she’d started calling her “medicine” before coming to Panic’s. It meant the worry was a low sizzle in her stomach. The idea of torture, when not in a classic slasher film, set all her nerves on end. 

She couldn’t imagine--

Except she could. All her worst nightmares were torture and death, filled with blood and scales being carved off. 

Attina knew she wanted to get to know Panic’s world better--but it didn’t sound like anywhere she wanted to know. It made sense to her that he had wanted to leave. In her opinion, that was all she needed to know.

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not there any longer, hm?” She smiled a little at him before very clearly ruffling the papers to move on.  “Okay, I answered the last one first, so--your turn: Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”

PANIC: Back to the questions and a safe topic. Panic could handle that. He preferred that in most ways. “Three things we have in common. Family values. We can both be petty as fuck sometimes. We’re both hot?” Panic stated with a grin wiggling his eyebrows as her now more willing to look at her and he was definitely having a time going back to teasing her. 

“Does that count as a serious answer or do I need a real third one?”

ATTINA: Attina gasped and clucked her tongue.

“I’m not petty!” Though, this was a very unconvincing thing to say, because Attina was--very petty when she wanted to be. It just made her cheeks burn a little to realize Panic had noticed. “However, I will accept that we are both hot if only because you’re complimenting me. As long as you do mean it.” She wrinkled her nose a bit at him before looking up at the ceiling.

“Ummm, we both like to cook! We both have siblings that drive us up a wall but we’d do anything for. Is that the same as family values? Well, I think it’s different and important, but--we also both are kind of homebodies. Annnd--” we’re both magical creatures that the world hates, “--we both have a secret the rest of the world can’t know.” 

She pursed her lips a little at him before looking down.

“Anyway--For what in your life do you feel most grateful? Well, that’s easy. My family. Oh! And you, of course.” Her smile was warm when she looked back up at him. 

PANIC: They both had a secret they couldn't tell the world. The simple sentence still choked him up. Made his heart clench too tightly. Made his frown deepen even with the quick subject change. It still lingered. 

Reaching out he gave her leg a small squeeze. He had her back no matter what her secret was.

He did however smile at her feeling grateful for him. At least that made his heart untwist a little bit. "Percy. First and foremost. Without him I wouldn't be here. Any other decision on his part and I wouldn't be. You of course. I never thought I would ever really be able to tell people about me. Freedom. Life. Family. The basic other things that make life worth living." Panic answered. "If you could change anything about the way you were raised. I wish I could have just been born a human in this world. I wish percy hadnt been sick."

ATTINA: Attina almost laughed.

She would’ve, if she hadn’t had her medication, which left her drifting like a buoy on the sea. She just rolled with the waves. Panic said: I wish I could have just been born a human in this world and Attina just felt her heart twist in her chest. The cruel irony buried beneath the medication and her empathy, which rose, round and buoyant as a balloon. 

Maybe, hearing all of this should freak her out. Should make her love Panic just a little less. 

It didn’t. The feeling inside her chest just got bigger and bigger. 

She wanted to repeat those exact words back at him. There was a part of her, the mermaid, screeching a siren’s song in her chest: Tell him! Tell him! 

“I wish I didn’t have my secret too,” she finally said. “I wish that all my sisters and I could just...be ourselves. Also, that my--mum was around for more of it.” 

She cleared her throat and glanced down. Attina barely talked about her mum, and she certainly hadn’t talked about her much around Panic. 

“Okay--” Attina reached for her timer. “Get ready for my life’s story. Pretty sure you know most of this already…” 

“Alright, well, I was born June 22, 1991–Gemini-Cancer cusp, though I definitely lean more towards Cancer. Nine months later, almost exactly, Andrina was born. So, we’ve pretty much always been in this together. Then, Adella. Then, Arista. They were back to back, Adella when Andrina was about two. Then, Aquata was born a year or so after that. Then, Alana. Then, eventually, Ariel, but there was a bit more of a break between them. I was about eight by then. Uhm, when I was about 11-13, I was going to London in the summers for Youth Orchestra. I was first seat harpist. Won awards and such.” She popped her shoulders in a shrug.

“Then, uhm, I was in secondary–had a boyfriend when I was sixteen, he was a jerk, as most sixteen year old boys are. I was on the debate team and chess team and in band and mock trials…then, uhm, mymotherdied.” She had to stop and suck in a deep breath, looking away for a moment. 

“Then, I graduated and went to university at PrideU. Once I graduated and got into the Master’s program, Andy and I moved into this apartment. I finished my Master’s three years ago? Gosh, it’s been a while. And–then I started working at Whosits and Whatsits and met you and...here I am!”

The timer went off.

“Oh, good, I was about done anyway! Your turn.”

PANIC: Panic's lips twisted into a frown at the mention of Attina's mother. He really didn’t know the story there. He hadn’t asked and she hadn’t provided more than a couple details. Which was okay with him. He wasn't going to force her to talk about it. He just needed to know the basics. Which included the fact he knew Attina had lost her Mum way too young. 

He still tried to give whatever comfort he could for her. A smile on his lips. A squeeze of her leg. Giving her all his focus. 

“Can you do the timer for me as well?” Panic requested before launching into his own story, he knew she hadn’t heard this story and he watched carefully if he was going in too deep.

“Um so yeah in human years if I’m honest I don’t know when I was born but it was always known what I would be and the best way to be it is to be thrust into the situation. So I grew up around other Panic demons, Pains as well.” Panic started. “I knew that I never wanted to go into it but it’s not a choice that I had so I knew I wanted to leave. It took a long time before I was able to find an escape. When I did I wasn’t going to last, only the strongest demons can stay in this world without a host and so Percy was there. For a long time he was my host without hearing his voice. But I was always determined to get stronger and in my goal to get stronger I opened my mind for Percy to slip through. They thing was I couldn’t push him back down. I like to think I couldn’t do it to him or maybe I didn’t have the energy. But we started to talk. We started to learn things about each other and we grew up like that. Tests got really easy but thankfully we both really liked cooking. It didn’t matter who was in control or if we switched in between so we went for it. We learned what we could and trained where we could. We went to school for it and we experienced half a life. Fun fact I don’t know how to drive. Percy does. I know how to swim, he doesn’t.” Panic stated simply before glancing at the time. “Then Swynlake became an option where we could maybe find out more about demons and hosts and what we could do and I didn’t know what I would find but I was hoping for something. Then I got a job at Remy’s and met you and well I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Demon knowledge or not.”

And the timer chimed.

“That’s my story. Have I scared you off?”

ATTINA: Attina was quiet as she listened, her brow furrowed. And she thought about the last time they’d done this. Except, it hadn’t been them. It had been Percy impersonating Panic, lying to her. Though, not lies, not exactly--he had just told her his own story, which, she supposed, in a way, was Panic’s too. But here was so much more. 

She listened to it all--

And maybe, she should be scared off. There were parts of it that didn’t sit right with her, of course. Parts that she wished weren’t true, but she was learning--when you loved someone, that didn’t matter. When you loved someone, you loved all those pieces of them that were ugly or cruel or terrible. She didn’t think Panic was ugly or cruel or terrible, but she knew that others would. That he had been born into a life that he didn’t want, that there was nothing he could do about who he was or where he’d come from.

And Attina understood. She understood and all she had in her heart was empathy, growing larger and rounder and warmer the longer he spoke. 

“No,” she said, shaking her head a little at him, though her voice was soft and contemplative. She meant it though, every word. “I just--wish it was different.” One of her shoulders shrugged, her cardigan slipping down. “But, I’ve spent my whole life wishing that, so it isn’t much of a difference. It just--makes me sad. What you went through. What Percy has gone through. The fact that you don’t have a choice but to rely on someone else like that. It’s awful. It’s wrong.” 

PANIC: Panic watched Attina closely.  Each word that he said he worried it would be something that she couldn’t handle. His life while he never thought was bad was something that could scare her off. In fact Panic was quite surprised she was handling it as well as she was. 

Though when she didn’t fix her cardigan, Panic imagined that she wasn’t handling it as well as she was saying that she was handling it.  

“Maybe one day we can, I can leave him. One day I can make my own form. I dunno. I’m hoping that might be the case. I want to give him that. I want to give us that.” Panic wanted nothing more than those things but he didn’t want to go back either.

ATTINA: Attina’s eyebrows went up a bit at that revelation. She hadn’t known that was possible. Not that that lack of knowledge was a surprise. Attina had never taken any demonology classes, she had never seen any reason to. Now, she was kind of kicking herself, but how could she ever predicted she would not only date, but fall in love, with a demon? 

“You can do that?” she asked, sitting up some. “How?”

She couldn’t help how--hopeful she sounded because...it really sucked, having to share Panic with Percy. To know that no matter how comfortable Percy was with all of it--Panic was still possessing him. There was no getting around that. 

PANIC: Panic couldnt help the laugh that escaped his lips at how excited Tina got. He didn't blame her. He had wished for it too. 

"In theory I could." Panic started because he didnt want to get her Hope's up. He would try and he would keep trying though. " right now I dont have enough power or strength to maintain a form on my own so most likely we would need something that increased that power. Or something that would tether me to Percy without needing to use his body.  That's why I ended up in the hospital. There's this talisman that can control pretty much any demon. If percy got it. In theory he would be able summon me and well control me but I'd be here and using that power. It might be impossible for us to summon me specifically if I was stuck down in the underworld without an advanced sorcerer and I dont really want to trust that to someone I dont know. But that's everything my research led me to."

ATTINA: Attina frowned again when Panic mentioned the hospital. How horrible that had been. Her heart clenched just thinking about him in that hospital bed. Him and--Percy too. She hated seeing the people she loved hurting like that. In any way, really, her heart too soft for things like that. 

Her brow furrowed as she listened and tried to--comprehend. 

It was so out of the realm of everything she knew. She may be a magical creature and live in a magical town, but Attina had always tried to live as normal a life as possible. It was mostly fear that made her do this but--

Why wouldn’t she be afraid? That all sounded so complicated and terrifying. 

She sighed and nodded after a moment.

“I don’t want you to get hurt. You--or Percy, but...it would be nice, wouldn’t it? Us, together, without...all the rest? It’d make so much of this less complicated.”

PANIC: Panic let out a breath of laughter. It would make everything easier, he couldn’t help but imagine the day him and Percy were looking at one another face to face. Or well Percy’s face to Percy’s face or whatever face Panic could mimic. 

It was a nice thought.

“It’s something I want I promise. I just have to figure out how to do it safely. Until then are you willing to have me like this?” Was she willing to love the demon and what it was to be a demon.

ATTINA: A year ago, even a few months ago, Attina would’ve said no. She would’ve been terrified of what it meant--both for Panic to be a demon and for them to be dating. She was still terrified, that hadn’t changed, but something had. Love made her brave. Or at least, more brave than she’d ever felt (she was still more or less a coward). It was much more terrifying to think of living life all alone. Of going through it all without someone by her side. 

Now that she had Panic, nothing would make her want to let him go.

“Of course,” she told him softly, smiling at him. She leaned up and kissed him once and then pulled back. “We got wayyy off track.” She giggled once and shook her head before looking back down at the paper that’d fallen onto the floor. Squinting, she read the next question. 

“If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality, what would it be?”

[janetbrown711]

Are you okay?!’ Webby Louie Lena Webby deals with bullies and lenas plan

“If you really loved her, you would leave her.”

He took a blow to the chest, her glowing red eyes piercing in his memory.

“She doesn’t belong with you.”

A blow to his head.

“She would be happy if you were dead.”

A toss into the stairs.

“You’re absolutely useless.”

A knife headed rushed toward his head and he flinched for the contact when-

Louie’s body jerked awake. He reached out for someone, something but nothing was there. His mind started to panic. He was in an unfamiliar room, a loud and sharp beating pounding both within himself. Everything was fuzzy. Where was he? Where was Webby? What happened to Lena?

He felt arms rub his back and slowly his eyes focused into the shape of Uncle Donald rubbing his back when suddenly a swarm of strangers came in and started touching machines and telling him… Something. He could helm they were talking but he couldn’t hear.

Where was Webby? Where was Lena? Where was he? All he remembered was seeing Lena bleed that awful color and Webby saying something before the ringing in his head broke out and everything has gone black. Where was he?!

“Louie calm down. Its okay, its okay. You’re in a hospital,” Louie could finally hear. He looked at his Uncle and grabbed his arm, sobbing.

“I-I d-dreamed-”

“I know Louie, I know,” Donald hugged his nephew as tightly as he could, and Louie continued to sob and sob. Something about hugging Donald always made him want to just give up all of his charades, to just let go and cry.

“D-Donald… I-it hurt. I-it hurt so… So much,” he choked.

“I know Louie, I know, but its okay. You’re safe. You’re safe, I am here. You are safe,” Louie could feel his protectiveness in his voice. It was so soft and warm. He wanted to find those words and wrap himself in them and remain safe forever. No fear, no hurt. Just warmth.

“They told me what happened,” Donald spoke again. Louie nodded slowly. “Im so sorry Lou. That must’ve been awful,” he stroked his head, still not breaking the close embrace. He bobbed his head up and down as he lost the strength to continue to sob.

“Its okay though. Im here. You’ll be okay,” Donald kissed the top of his head and Louie smiled a little as he slowly let go and lied down in the hospital bed. All of the strangers, which he issued to be doctors, had disappeared. Good. For the first time he examined all of his bruises and and scrapes all over himself.

He had bruises all along both arms and scrapes too. He slowly lifted a hand to feel his neck but Donald slowly swiped his hand down and shook his head, which he took as a sign not to mess with it. In his arm, the usual IV went in. He couldn’t she the damage to his legs as he was tucked into the blankets. His head left heavy and light at the same time. He needed to nap.

Not until he saw Webby. Where was Webby?

“D-Donald where is W-web?” he croaked.

“She’s right outside. I’ll tell her to come in,” Donald stuck his head out the door and said something before returning inside, Webby soon following.

“Louie!” Webby hugged him as tight as she could (which was much tighter than Donald could manage) and Louie examined how scratched up she herself was.

“Webby, are you okay?” he softly asked.

“Wh-what me? I-I should be asking g you that. You’re the one who’s in here,” she broke the embrace.

“She got… To you too,” he noted the ripped sleeve and the dirt all along her sleeves and especially on her back.

“I know, but im okay. Its you who im worried about. Are you okay?,” she put a hand on his cheek and he leaned into it. It felt so warm. Just as warm as Donald’s embrace had been.

“Y-yeah,” was all he could get himself to say.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Donald slipped himself out of the room. Webby chuckled a little.

“He sure is getting better at timing, isn’t he?” she gave him a tired smile and he remarked the heavy bags under her eyes from stress.

“Was i out for long..?” he asked.

“Well… It’s almost been a day, but not quite so that’s a good thing heh,” she ran her fingers through his hair, presumably to style it but she gave up in the matter of seconds. “I’m so sorry this happened Lou. Its all my fault.”

“What- how the heck is it your fault?” Louie genuinely asked.

“I-I mean- I don’t want to sound like- crazy or anything I-I just…” she sighed, “its stupid, I know. I just… Feel like I should’ve seen something in Lena or… I dunno. Im sorry,” she apologized.

“It isn’t you’re fault you’re so lovable,” he squeezed her hand.

“Lovable?” she chuckled tiredly.

“Yeah,” he smiled. A small knock was at the door and Scrooge popped his head in.

“Lass, Lena is awake if you wanted to know,” he said. Webby nodded to herself.

“R-right… I-I think… I’ll stay here though,” Webby said.

“Alright,” Scrooge slipped back into the hallway.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Louie said.

“I know I just… Don’t want to leave you alone or get the wrong message,” she said.

“That you like her more than me?” he raised an eyebrow weakly. His eyelids were starting to feel heavy. He was on a lot of medicine and such.

“Yeah heh….” Webby scratched the back of her neck.

“Webby I’ll be fine,” he smiled, forcing himself to stay awake for just a little while longer.

“A-are you sure? I just want to be sure that I’m here if-… If anything happens,” she sighed and tucked a hair back into place.

“Webby, I’ll be fine. I got Uncle Donald and my brothers to watch out for me. You can see whatever the hell was possessing Lena’s whole thing was. I’ll… I’ll be okay,” he said.

“You sure?” she asked once more.

“Of course. Look, im about to go to sleep so either you leave or I fall asleep. You’re choice,” he yawned and closed his eyes. Webby watched him for a minute, half out of the need to make sure he really was asleep and half to convince herself he was safe. She sighed and headed for Lena’s room.

She knocked softly on the door before entering. Nobody was in the room before her and Lena had a distant look in her eyes as she stared out the window. She was still wearing her choker somehow.

“Hey Lena,” Webby broke her friend’s train of thought.

“Hey,” Lena tried to smirk but it faded into twinges of a frown. Webby sat at the chair by her bed. An awkward silence hung between them, nothing but the beeping of Lena’s heartrate.

“Where is Louie?” Lena spoke quietly.

“Hospital room just down the hall. He’s asleep,” she simply put it.

“Still?” a pause, “I see.”

More silence.

“Lena look,” this time Webby broke the silence, “I’m not mad I just want to understand what the heck happened so… Please. Just… Tell me what the heck was going on.”

“Right, you deserve to know,” Lena sighed with slow nods. Webby sat up in the chair.

“Well… It… It was a month ago I… I realized I… Liked you,” she glanced at her friend but strayed the moment they made eye contact, “I was just… So full of jealousy. I couldn’t stand the thought of you with… Him. It tore me up inside, so… I made a plan to separate you two. I searched in all of my spell books and read of a demon that could "make you into the perfect match for your most desired” and obviously… I took it.“

"At first it was fine. I just started sitting straighter and smiling more at you but every time I was in the room with him the demon’s voice just told me to hurt him. I-I don’t know why but I really felt this burning desire to hurt him everytime I was with him, but often times you were there too, and i cared too much about hurting you to do that.”

“But one day we were alone. I was heading out and he was going to grab a pep and I… Shoved him down the stairs. I didn’t mean to I just… Did. After I left I told him to not try to do that again and it started to tell me things about how I belonged with you and how he would never let me kill him just… Push him out of the way. You would never know, so, like an idiot, I listened. And overtime I listened the more I lost control. The moment I threw you into that tree, I knew it was over. You hated me. So I surrendered to it, and he did what he pleased with me and… Yeah… That’s how we got into this mess.”

Webby was left speechless. It was like all of the 87 languages she knew just slipped her tongue. Everything just felt numb and limp.

“L-le-Lena,” she managed to gather those four letters. The girl in question looked at her.

“I-I… Don’t… Hate you,” she strung a sentence together. Lena looked down.

“I knew you’d say that. Its so… You,” she huffed.

“Well… Its true,” Webby touched Lena’s hand, which she pulled back. “I dot hate you and I don’t blame you for being jealous,” Lena still didn’t respond. “You’re still my best friend, I hope you know that.”

On best friend Lena turned her head. “You want someone who hospitalized your boyfriend to still be your best friend? God Webby, are you really that stupid?”

“Well what else do you want from me?” Webby asked.

“I dunno! Maybe a punishment? A slap to the face? A-an ‘I hate you’ maybe?! I dint know! Just something! Anything! Just not this!” tears had flooded to her eyes as she exclaimed.

“L-Lena I… I don’t hate you. I-I don’t blame you. You were jealous and stuff yeah, and… You did hurt Louie a lot and that isn’t okay… But I know that you’re already hurting so… I can’t really blame you for that. Louie on the other hand… I don’t speak for him, but I do speak for you so… Yeah. I don’t blame you,” she told her. Lena tucked her knees to her chest and sighed.

“Y-yeah…” her tone was not of that of agreement or discontent. Just a meaningless mumble.

“Lena, I Won’t stop thinking of you as a friend so know that you haven’t truly lost me, okay?” she lightly touched her shoulder and Lena didn’t brush it away. There was more silence, before Lena spoke.

“Okay,” she agreed to it, though Webby knew it wasnt completely sincere, but that comes with time. It always does. She’ll be alright.

“Webs, I think I’m gonna catch some sleep,” Lena said.

“Right, that’s fair,” Webby nodded, “I can leave if you want me to,” she stood.

“Y-yeah thanks,” Lena closed her eyes. Webby sighed as she left the room, glancing back at her one more time before closing the door.

[ua-monoma]

monoma:

@s-inasa hey. it's Monoma

Inasa:

Oh hello!! How are you doing Monoma?

monoma:

I'm alright. long day haha

Thanks again for all this

Inasa:

Hey relax! I should be the one thanking you

Its been some...lonely, weird recovery weeks

monoma:

Oh...? sorry to hear that

I get that though

it's a weird situation

Inasa:

I still don't get it, to this day, what the fuck happened.

I knew I was gonna be rejected.

But the girl's quirk was brutal anyway.

monoma:

... yeah.

I can clear it up for you a little bit right now, if you'd like.

I was hit by it too (I don't know if you remember hearing that at the hospital) so I've got... experience with it.

Inasa:

That so? I don't remember much of the waiting room. The pain meds made me sluggish.

Tell me about your experience!

monoma:

Ah

Now? ... ok

... I feel like with every person it's just really different, I guess....

and, I guess, I was having a really rough time with my emotions, so. they grew really slowly at first. I thought they were kind of just a rash at first? and then some sort of weird welts, I dunno.

they were really hard to take out, too... really hard. kind of impossible tbh...

Inasa:

Mine were hard too. It hurt like...ever had to take blood from the back of your hand? That hurts a lot.

But they didn't grow slowly

They just. Sprouted everywhere

And fast

That bug girl really didn't want to help me at first. I was terrified.

monoma:

At least she helped you. I had to find out from someone else what was even happening

it is scary though.

Inasa:

I still have nightmares of...dull, bored looking fly eyes and flowers coming out of my chest like nails.

monoma:

hah....

I get nightmares too.

Inasa:

I remember...after the surgery

Every time I tried eating something I'd throw up.

monoma:

Oh wow

Inasa:

Like their roots were still there

Yeah. But ! I'm okay now right!? Thats what matters in the end!

monoma:

... that's really scary

... idk

I had the surgery too, but I think they fucked up somehow because it's not... completely gone...

I haven't told anyone that yet though so. Don't go blurting that around. I'm gonna get it handled.

And I'm not trying to scare you in saying that, I'm just... mentioning.

Um. How do you feel? .. Emotionally?

Taking them out is supposed to... affect you... and I've noticed that, to some extent, but, like I said, it's not completely gone for me...

Inasa:

They came back?? Oh no...

Um. In what sense?

In towards...towards Todoroki?

monoma:

... is that who the flowers were reacting to... ah.

Yes

ah. Sort of the same way, really slowly. I had a lot of chest pains for a while and I guess I just didn't connect it to what had happened... And I don't think my surgery was nearly as extensive/invasive as yours.

............................. I guess the only difference is maybe they're more internal now than before... I didn't really think about it?

Kind of trying not to.

Inasa:

You should get that removed, Monoma.

Before they grow violent like mine did.

monoma:

Yeah. I know that.

Like I said, I'm handling it.

Anyway, you and Todoroki.

Inasa:

...yes?

monoma:

...

I mean, what's that feel like? Do you feel better? Or... anything, really? Towards him?

Inasa:

...have you ever felt hollow?

Like there's a void inside your chest?

That's how I feel about him now... its weird.

And I don't like it.

I like..him. as a friend.

Feeling nothing is disturbing.

monoma:

Ah. Just like that?

Just... instantly, huh?

Interesting.

Inasa:

It's just.

I knew he was going to reject me.

He likes a girl after all, hah. He's dating that girl.

So even before I heard it from him I had been preparing myself for it.

Besides, I'm the kind of guy who instantly forgives people?

That might have helped.

monoma:

Would it have though

I think, if there's anything to learn from this mess, it's that you can't just logic emotions away like that...

Doesn't matter if you were prepared. It was still gonna hurt.

Inasa:

You're right...

monoma:

... Forgiveness is an interesting thing to bring up right now

Inasa:

Why?

monoma:

Because... in this case, who would you have been trying to forgive? Todoroki?

... Maybe that's an odd question.

Inasa:

Yeah?

Anyone would get mad at being rejected.

And uh. Especially going through a traumatic experience.

But I knew it wasnt on him.... just on me.

So whatever resentment I could be having I forgave and tried to move on.

monoma:

I see...

Inasa:

Yeah. That's where I'm at today!

...You know Monoma.

monoma:

Hm

?

Inasa:

My senpai, Shishikura. He tried to stop us from chatting.

I dont get it.

You're nice.

monoma:

Ah. Yes, he approached me too about that.

Haha

Thank you

Inasa:

Dont thank me! Its just what it is

I don't understand.

monoma:

I'm thanking you because I haven't heard that in a while.

There's.. been a lot of rumors going on about me, that's all.

He might have heard them.

I don't know what kind of things he said to you...

... I am glad you disregarded them though. At least, enough for us to text like this.

Inasa:

Rumors suck.

monoma:

Yep haha

Inasa:

He said some mean stuff

And that you want to sleep with me.

monoma:

oh goddamnit

Inasa:

But uh. If that's the case I haven't realized yet

monoma:

that wasn't my intention. in this conversation. at all.

again, rumors. of my apparent harlotry.

eveyrone here thinks i'm a slut now and i guess that's spread over to your school too, which is just great.

Inasa:

Oh. Why is that??

monoma:

probably because i act like one.

Inasa:

Well.

That's mean.

You don't act like one at least towards me

monoma:

i'm mean to myself. bad habit

Inasa:

Besides what's wrong with sex?

monoma:

... nothing..

Inasa:

Yeah!

I guess people are just mean. They used to be mean about my height, now they're mean because I got the license late and that i got it as a first year...

monoma:

Well that's just ridiculous

And that's just honestly jealousy

Like, I've heard about you and I've heard about the things you can do. They just hate that you can do them all and you can't

Inasa:

Thank you!

And I apologize for my senpai's behavior!

I'm sure he doesn't really mean it, whatever he's thinking of...

monoma:

I think he does. But I'll try not to be too bothered about it

like I said, it wasn't my intention for the conversation.

... and even if it was, it wouldn't really be his business anyway.

no offense to him. of course

I just really didn't appreciate how he went about all this.

Inasa:

He's a smart guy but. Sometimes he lets his emotions get the better of him.

I remember how scary he looked when he learned that I got rejected. Almost like he wanted to kill Todoroki.

He's protective.

monoma:

I see

Well, he has no reason to be. We're obviously getting along...

Hopefully that kind of thing won't continue...

Inasa:

I hope so too!

About your flowers. Your feelings for whoever they were ...

Are they there?

monoma:

What do you mean, there?

... I still feel for him, if that's what you're talking about

Inasa:

Yeah that.

Ah.

monoma:

I suppose it's a little different now.

I don't...

I try not to think about it too much.

... I really don't like them. The flowers.

Or... feeling, I guess.

Trying to ignore them is what got it so bad last time, so I'm sort of trying to embrace them now...

Inasa:

Why dont you like the feeling? Are you scared?

If so, i get that. Im scared too of having a small crush.

monoma:

... yeah

it's.. really complicated? a little...

Inasa:

Well

If you want someone non judgemental to hear

I'm here! :-)

monoma:

Err.. maybe a little. I don't wanna take up too much of your time,,,

Inasa:

Its fine!

monoma:

ok...

........... that bug bitch kind of hit a bunch of us with her quirk, so it kind of....

It's making everything weird

Inasa:

Oh...

Weird how

monoma:

Well

Everyone can look at your flowers and just make assumptions, right? Based on the color or what's associated with them

And having your own out in the open is bad enough...

... but then you see others, with theirs, and...

I dunno.

I don't like it.

Inasa:

You care about these people. Thats normal!

monoma:

,,,

I guess,,

Inasa:

It'd kill me to see people I like in pain.

monoma:

yeah...

I don't like seeing that on people. like, if I say something, and suddenly, more of those flowers pop up...

Especially knowing what they can do...

And I guess I can't help but associate those feelings with the flowers. I know without the quirk they're not nearly as dangerous... but aren't they?

eh.

Inasa:

I don't know a lot, honestly.

monoma:

mm.

Inasa:

But I understand you

monoma:

oh

... cool

Inasa:

:-)

monoma:

hahaha

:)...

Inasa:

Anytime you need someone to talk to about this

Or anything else

You can talk to me!

monoma:

haha

thanks

You're really friendly lol. it's a nice change

Inasa:

I get the overfriendliness comment a lot!

This time its appreciative so its good

monoma:

I didn't say overfriendly haha it's the perfect amount, I guess

Glad you appreciate it though :P

Inasa:

😄

monoma:

hehe

... obviously the same to you though

especially since you're still in recovery... it doesn't have to be as lonely anymore, maybe

Inasa:

Hey thank you! I talk to my senpai a lot in this recovery period. Someone else would be fun!

monoma:

Haha... fun is definitely one word for it

Inasa:

How would you put it?

monoma:

Ah.... idk,,,,,

It's....exciting, I guess

It's also just a depressing topic haha, so...

Inasa:

It is.

I don't like to remember how it basically took a part of me away

monoma:

... It basically did. Yeah.

It sucks...

Inasa:

...are you scared of loving?

After what happened?

monoma:

Ah... in what way are you thinking?

Because I'm scared of a lot.

I kind of would have been fine with just...losing the capacity for love after this. Because it was all so much. But... I guess... it kind of made me ready for the scarier aspects of it

Or maybe I just like the fear?

... I've been told I'm a bit of a masochist, haha...

Inasa:

In the way. In the way I have a small crush but I'm terrified to act upon it

monoma:

Oh.....

Inasa:

I wouldn't like to lose the ability to love. Love moves us you know? Hot blood on the veins and passion!!

But its. Too early

I mean I had the crush before, just a bit.

monoma:

"Hot blood" hahaha

Take your time, then...?

You have the time, at least...

You don't have to rush into it. You're still getting over Todoroki, technically.... and it'd be better for both of you

Inasa:

You dont have time though

monoma:

...

Inasa:

Your flowers.

monoma:

... are being handled

Inasa:

But dont you like someone? The someone they're for?

monoma:

Yes...

Inasa:

...do they not like you?

Like Todoroki doesn't like me?

monoma:

Um. ... no, I think they like me. Maybe.

I mean, not maybe,, they do. They've...mentioned it, I mean,,

Inasa:

W H A T ??????

monoma:

Wh-what,

Inasa:

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

THEN WHAT THE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ??

monoma:

,,,

Inasa:

YOU GOTTA FIX THIS BY TELLING THEM!

monoma:

but im scared,,

Inasa:

You have no idea what I wouldn't give to not have had the surgery!

You have no idea what I would have sacrificed for him to love me back!

You have your chance right in front of you!

monoma:

,,,,it's more complicated than that,,

he already left me once, idk if I can,,

I mean, I do plan on,,,

I was just, waiting, ah, until the time was right...??

Inasa:

You're.

You saw me. That day.

What did i look like ?

I dont know exactly. I just had my point of view.

monoma:

Uh

You're what I have the most nightmares about. Haha

You just... looked like you were in agony, sort've... it was like monstrous

Inasa:

That's. That's because he didn't love me.

You say your guy does!

monoma:

...a little

Inasa:

A little is better than nothing!

Even if its corresponded by a LITTLE you won't have to go through what i did!

monoma:

Okay...

sorry

I know I'm stupid about this...

Inasa:

You're scared.

Its okay to be scared

BUT

If you need a hand to hold through this I'm here!

You saw what I have been through

I don't want that...demonic quirk affecting anyone else

monoma:

Yeah ... me neither...

Inasa:

...tell the guy.

monoma:

Okay...

Inasa:

No, really tell him

You're nice, Monoma!

You dont deserve surgery nor what I went through

Avoid heartbreak.

monoma:

Okay. Okay. I'll try to.

... there's reasons why I haven't, but I know those are excuses, so I'll. really try. okay.

sorry

Inasa:

If you need me to help, I will!

In any way I can!

monoma:

... thanks.

Thank you.

um, yeah... I'll let you know then

Inasa:

Okay!