#i dunno. i just told him that he didn’t hurt me or anything and that i just get Big Emotion from the sheer thought of him getting to be.

[ectoplasmer]

melv was pestering me about something last night, probably about how i needed to go to bed instead of finishing a paper, and somehow he ended up offhandedly referring to himself as “my” husband when trying to convince me to sleep, and legitimately i just. started crying dhdkdhd

[tokkiwrites]

ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ ᴡᴏᴏᴅ & ᴀɴɢᴇʟ ᴄᴀᴋᴇ

summary: your dad's birthday is coming up, and you want to buy something special, but you're short a couple hundred dollars. not wanting to change your idea for a gift you ask his best friend, Joel Miller, to help you out until you get more money. He agrees but surcharges. tags: pwp, dbf!joel, f!reader, afab reader, age gap (legal, the reader is 22, joel is in his mid forties), kind of slut shaming i dunno, fingering f receiving, head m receiving, dirty talk galore, pet names galore, p in v unprotected. (lmk if i missed anything)

/ᐠ - ˕ -マ⁩ authors note 𑁯 ✿ Woah i dunno what this was, kind of lame but i desperately need dbf joel to give it to me. 4.03k words but its mostly exposition. not proofread!!!

Your dad's birthday was just around the corner, and this year, you wanted to get him something that truly mattered. The usual gifts—grilling tools, books, maybe a bottle of whiskey—didn’t feel right. You’d found something more special, something that spoke to him. It was a vintage guitar, similar to the one he had when he was younger, the one he used to play for you on lazy sunday afternoons. You knew it would bring back memories for him, and maybe, just maybe, he’d start playing again.

But there was one big problem—you couldn’t afford it. You were short. A couple hundred dollars short, and no matter how you shifted your budget, it just wouldn’t work. You’d gone over your options more times than you could count, and each time, you felt that pang of disappointment grow stronger. You weren’t someone who liked asking for help. You always tried to handle things on your own, but this time, there was no way around it.

That’s when Joel came to mind. Maybe he could help.

Joel Miller had been your dad’s best friend for as long as you could remember. He was the one who was always around, helping out when your dad needed a hand with anything or just dropping by for a beer and a quiet conversation. Joel had a way about him—steady, unshakable. Older, but not in a way that dulled him. His rough edges made him seem more dependable, like someone who’d been through enough to know what really mattered.

Over the years, you’d noticed things about him. Little things. The way his voice, low and gravelly, would call out your name with a slow drawl that sent a small shiver down your spine and straight to your cunt. The way his hands, calloused from years of hard work, looked when they were fixing something or just resting casually on the steering wheel of his truck. Somewhere along the line, what started as casual observations turned into a quiet crush. It was ridiculous, really. He was your dad’s best friend, and you were way too young for him. But that didn’t stop the way your heart skipped whenever you saw him or how your breath caught when he gave you one of those long, unreadable looks.

You’d always had this childish, gnawing thing for Joel, even though you knew it was wrong. He was someone who’d practically watched you grow up. But that didn’t stop your mind from wandering in all the wrong places. Over the years, you’d caught yourself daydreaming about him, what he'd do to you, imagining what it would be like if things were different—if you were his.

It wasn’t just his looks, though those didn’t hurt. Joel had that rugged charm about him—broad shoulders, rough hands, and a way of carrying himself that made you feel safe and small in a way that made your mind spiral. you wanted to be at his mercy. You couldn’t help but notice the lines that deepened around his eyes when he smiled, the slow, steady way he spoke, that gentle drawl making every word sound like it was meant just for you. And those moments when his gaze lingered a second too long—when his eyes would flicker over you in a way that made your pulse quicken—you’d catch yourself wondering if maybe, just maybe, he saw you differently too.

But it was just fantasy. Joel was older, your dad’s best friend, and he’d never cross that line. You told yourself that over and over, but it didn’t stop the thoughts from creeping in. Late at night, when you were alone, you’d let yourself imagine— touching yourself while wondering. What if you weren’t who you were, and he wasn’t who he was? What if, in another life, he could be more than just your dad’s friend? You’d picture his hands on you, the way his voice might sound close to your ear, the roughness of his touch, the warmth of his breath on your skin.

But every time, reality pulled you back. Joel would never see you that way. It was impossible. You were just the kid he’d known for years, nothing more. Still, the fantasy lingered, a secret you kept tucked away, knowing it could never become anything real.

right?

You hadn’t planned on asking him for help. It wasn’t something you were comfortable with, especially not from Joel. But as the days ticked by and you couldn’t figure out how to make the money work, the idea crept into your mind more and more. He was reliable, and if anyone would help you out without making you feel bad about it, it would be Joel. You sat with your phone in your lap for what felt like forever, staring at his name on the screen. It took a few deep breaths before you finally hit call. The phone barely rang twice before you heard his familiar voice on the other end.

"Hey, darlin'," he spoke, the warmth of his voice instantly grounding you. "Somethin' wrong?" His concern was real. Joel wasn’t the type to waste words, and for a second, you thought about backing out. But then you thought about the gift, about your dad’s face when he saw it, and the words spilled out.

"Hey, Joel. I’m okay, just... I need a favor," you admitted, biting your lip, feeling the awkwardness rise in your chest. There was a soft chuckle on the other end of the line, the sound rumbling through the phone. "You? Ask for a favor? Must be somethin’ important."

You smiled despite yourself, already feeling some of the tension ease. “It’s about dad’s birthday. I found this perfect gift, but I’m short a couple hundred dollars, and... I hate asking, but I don’t know what else to do.” Joel was quiet for a moment, and you held your breath. Then, his voice came through, steady as always. "How much you need?" You blinked, surprised at how quick he was to offer. "Uh, about two hundred. I swear I’ll pay you back as soon as I—"

"Don’t worry ‘bout that," Joel cut you off, his tone so casual it almost threw you. "Come by later, we’ll figure it out."

And that was it. He hung up before you had a chance to protest, leaving you sitting there, a mixture of relief and something else bubbling inside you. Later came quicker than you expected, and before long, you found yourself driving out to his place. The sun was low in the sky, casting the road in golden light as you drove the familiar route. Joel lived just outside town, far enough out that it always felt like stepping into a different world when you visited him.

When you pulled into his driveway, his old truck was parked out front, dust-covered and reliable, much like the man himself. The air was warm, the sun casting long shadows across his yard, and for a moment, you sat in your car, your heart thudding in your chest. You didn’t know why you were so nervous—this was just Joel, after all—but something about this felt different. It wasn’t just about asking for money. Before you could second-guess yourself, you got out of the car and walked up to his front door. Your shoes crunched against the gravel, and the soft thud of your knock on the door sounded too loud in this quiet evening.

Joel opened the door almost immediately, like he’d been waiting for you all this time. He stood there, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, his dark eyes fixed on you. For a second, you were caught in his gaze, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. "Hey, darlin'," he greeted, his voice soft but thick with that familiar gruff.

"Hi, Joel," you replied, stepping inside, trying to hide your apparent blush. The smell of wood and something faintly musky filled the air, and the room felt like it always did—warm, safe. You’d been here countless times, but today, something felt different. Maybe it was just you. You sat down on the couch, trying to calm your nerves, while Joel took his usual spot across from you, leaning back in his chair with that easy posture, his eyes still lingering on you. There was something about the way he looked at you tonight, something that made your skin prickle with awareness.

“So,” he started, his voice low, “you need a little help with this gift, huh?” You nodded, feeling suddenly self-conscious under his gaze. “Yeah. It’s more expensive than I thought. I didn’t want to ask, but…” Joel shook his head, cutting you off. “You ain’t gotta explain. I told you I’d help, didn’t I?” Relief washed over you, but then, as you glanced back at him, you caught the way his eyes hadn’t left yours. There was something different in them now—something that made your heart race a little faster. "But," Joel continued, his tone dropping just a notch, slower now, like he was considering each word carefully, "you know me. I don’t do favors for nothin’."

Your breath hitched. There was an intensity in his voice, in the way he was watching you, that sent a rush of heat through your body. You felt your folds dripping through your white cotton panties. He wasn’t just talking about the money, and you knew it. The room seemed smaller, the air between you thick with something, your pulse plummeting under his steady gaze.

You swallowed, suddenly unsure of how to respond. You’d known Joel your whole life, but this—this was different. The way he was looking at you now wasn’t like anything you’d felt from him before, hungry, and it made you both nervous and excited, a dangerous mix you didn’t know how to handle. He leaned forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees, his eyes never leaving yours. "So," he drawled, his voice like gravel, "what’re you gonna give me in return?"

"A-Anything.." You spoke up, the words cascading out before you could even process them. "That so?" You see him smile, looking down at his hands. "You're a big girl... I think you know what i want." Your heart almost stops. Joel stands up, slowly inching himself closer. "Joel, Iㅡ" you try to protest, not quite sure what to make of what he just said. "You think i don't know? think i dont notice how you look at me, always wearin' those skimpy clothes when 'm around...tryna' look innocent." the rhythm of your heart races, realizing what is really happening. you were to afraid to look up, afraid of what he'll say next, so you stuck to staring at the ground. "You think i couldn't hear ya touchin' yourself, moanin' my name, when I stayed over? God, woke up with the biggest morning wood ever that dayㅡ felt like a fuckin' teenager." he chuckles to himself, rough fingertips trailing your shoulder, finally reaching your chin. he grabs a hold of it, turning your head harshly so you could look at him. your blushed skin burned, eyes wide with expectation.

"Joel, 'm sorry, pleaseㅡ"

"Oh, so now you beggin'? could've come to me so long ago 'n ask me nicely to give it to you, sweet girl. Guess this is where you repay me for helpin' out with your dad's gift and for all those boners you made me power through." is this really happening? your eyes dart around the room, but he's quick to grab tightly on your cheeks, making your gazes meet. "You look at me when I'm talkin' to you, angel." His eyes were dark, intense, filled with something you couldn’t quite decipher, but it made your stomach twist with a mixture of fear and something else you were ashamed to nameㅡ you could try to deny it but the way your cunt pulsed when he talked to you that way was your biggest enemy. "Joel, please—" you started again, your voice shaky, but he cut you off with a low, humorless chuckle, his thumb brushing along your jaw, keeping you in place.

"Don't 'please' me, darlin'," he murmured, his voice dipping even lower, eyes now on your obvious cleavage. "You've been teasin’ me for years now, comin' ‘round lookin’ all sweet and innocent, actin' like you didn’t know what you were doin’. Always starin' at me with those big eyes, waitin' for me to make a wrong move." he was right and you hated to admit it. he held you firm, his grip unrelenting. " I didn't mean—"

"Oh, I think you meant every bit of it," he said, his lips curling into a small smile, head lowering. "But now look where that’s got you. You came to me for help, and I agreed to help, didn’t I? Now it’s time to give somethin' back." your pulse thudded loudly in your ears, drowning out everything but him, his voice, the feeling of him so close. You’d never thought it would be like this, not with Joel. You couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, caught between the fantasy you'd let grow over the years and the reality of what was happening now.

"You're gonna be good for me, aren't you? Gonna be a good little girl 'n let me have at you?" he asked, his voice a low rasp, like gravel scraping across your skin, the words sinking deep into your bones. "Yㅡyes." you say, voice was quiet, buried under the arousal, the want for more and his honey words. "Atta girl." Joel leaned in slowly, giving you time to pull back if you wanted to, but you didn't. You couldn't. Instead, you tilted your head up, closing the distance between you, your lips finally meeting his in a kiss. The moment his lips touched yours, it was like everything clicked into place. There was no hesitation, no uncertainty anymore. His kiss was slow but sure, his hand moving to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You sighed into him, hands instinctively resting on his chest, feeling the warmth of him, the roughness that made him like a drug to you.

a few moments pass, and joel pulls away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your lips, one that he breaks when his rough thumb drags itself across your bottom lip. "pretty, pretty girl." you moan, you feel so pathetic. he's barely touched you, yet you feel the pool growing inside your panties by the second.

"p-please, joel.."

"please, what, angel cake? gotta tell me exactly what ya want." he smiles, prepping soft pecks onto your face. "t-touch me..please." you gather the courage to speak up, watching his eyes grow darker as he hears your request. "fuck, baby...what would your dad say if he heard you just then, huh? what if he saw what a cock desperate slut you are?" chuckling low, his fingers tangle themselves in your hair, making you whimper. "don't c-care.."

" 'Course you don't. Always knew you were a little whore. well, right now you'll be my little whore, right?" he tilts his head to the side, his thumb urging your mouth to open. "c'mon, girl, open." and you do as you're told, opening you mouth wide, tongue lulled out. he then gathers some spit in his mouth before letting the glistening droplet fall from his lips onto your tongue. "Swallow it. Let me seeㅡ" its so overwhelming, so dirty, and he didn't even do anything. at this moment, it feels as if only a slight nip at your skin could send you over the edge. "You know your place, yeah, baby?" you hum eagerly, not sure what his next request will be but ready to fulfill it and give him your all. "tell me. you really wanna do this." Guilt clawed at your heart. Yet, you couldn't stop what you felt. it was wrong, but in this moment, it felt so right. "need you, Joel, please.."

"fuck, okay angel."

his large hands start to pull at your clothes, undressing you slowly, savoring and drinking you up with his eyes. your naked body was shivering, you didn't know if it was from the temperature or because of the anticipation playing with your heartstringsㅡ you just knew you needed to give everything you had to Joel. make him proud. "i got you, babygirl." you feel yourself get picked up and placed onto the old leather couch in the middle of the living room, the cold surface making you jump a little. joel leans in, trailing soft kisses down the curve of your hip all the way to your mid thigh, as you try to bite back your moans. "Let me hear you, baby, don't hold back. you wanna make me proud, don't ya?" Oh, you do.

"gonna let me ruin you, angel girl?" and it feels like your heart could run a marathon. you nod away, eagerly. you feel so pathetic, all sprawled out naked under him, whilst he's still dressed. "words, baby. you that stupid already? I ain't even fucked you yet 'n you can't even say one word. tsk." he mocks you, twirling with your hardened nipples. "i'mㅡ please, joel, please..." you almost cry. he laughs, fingers finally reaching your dripping folds and swirling around them "fuck, darlin', you're so wet. all this for me, hm? this pussy cryin' for an old man like me?" he teases "yes, only f-for you...please."

"that's right." Joel kisses the side of your neck, nibbling at the skin whilst he finally pushes inside of you one of his rugged fingers, making your back jolt and arch. you cover your mouth with your palms, shocked by the own sound you just made. "Keep moanin' for me, little girl. let me hear how good I make you feel.." his words flood over you, as the knot in your tummy tightly turns, Joel's cologne swirling in your nostrils and getting you drunk off of it and this feeling. "so tight, baby. can't wait to feel you 'round my cock." you choke back a pathetic whine. "you like it? like it when i fuck you with my fingers and talk to you like this?" you nod, pushing yourself further onto his digits. "filthy girl, s'it turn you on when you're fucked out on an old man's fingers?"

"yesㅡ god, yes, please, joel, please, 'm so close." but then it all stops. you whine at the sudden lack of feeling, but you open your eyes and see Joel stand up.

your vision was hazy from all the tears in your eyes, and your heart felt stuck in your throat, but you watched the man discard himself of his clothes andㅡ holy. fucking. shit. all of your fantasies of Joel couldn't prepare you for what was going to happen. he stood there, tall, gruff as he stroked himself. his length was girthy, almost too thick, veiny, with a pinkish, angry tip. he knew he was huge. That's what made it so exciting for him. watching you gawk at his cock, made him feel more powerful over you.

"c'mon, angel, it won't bite...open wide now. widee ㅡ there you go...good little girl." he preaises, sliding his length between your lips. it was hard to adjust, and honestly, your jaw was hurting from the first couple of minutes you had him in your mouth. but the way his lips dripped with quiet moans, 'goodgirls' and 'thats rights', it made you push back the pain. it was bearableㅡ it was worth it. "jesus christ, girl, you look so pretty, mouth full of my cock." the man laughs, pushing his length further down your warm throat that was constricting as you gagged around him. "shitㅡ gonna make me come already." hissing, he pulls out, leaving you gasping for air.

you look up at him, mascara smudged, lips swollen and blushed cheeks stained with tears and spit. "you're so gorgeous like this, baby. my gorgeous angel girl, begging for cock." he sighs, caressing you cheek before his hand slides down to wrap around your neck, squeezing it and making you light-headed. "gonna let me fuck you, darlin'? c'mon, answer."

"y-yes, please fuck m-me, Joel." joel scoffs, placing a little kiss on your forehead. with his other hand, he grabs his shaft and drags the tip along your folds, collecting all the juices that dripped from you. "fuckin' soaked for me, baby." and you hum a little 'only for you.' without stalling, he pushes in just the tip making you yelp as the sting spread through your pussy. you stare him deep in the eyes as he pushes in further, hushing you along the way. it was so bigㅡ too big. but you loved it, you loved that it was all you dreamed about and more. "I know, baby, I know. You're a good girl, you can take it." with that, he pushes in all the way, ripping through you, his precum mixing with your juices that were flowing over his cock. he thrusts in you cunningly, gripping your hips tightly and licking long strips down your neck. all you could do is sit there and take it. take it and make him proudㅡ you were paying him back, though.

"so pretty, angel, so, so pretty and tight 'f me, shitㅡ " joel moans, indulging further into you. your hips crash with his, and you try your best to say quiet as you feel his cock hit so deep, you're sure it reached your stomach. the room spun with you, you could only mutter little 'joels' as he pounded into you. after a few more pumps that familiar feeling was pooling at your core, causing you to tighten around Joel's length, which made him grunt and pull your hips flush to his "that's it, girl. come around my cock, let me feel ya squeezin' me."

you let go. bliss and pleasure take over you as your body contorts under joel, your walls fluttering around his shaft perfectly, eyes rolling to the back of your head. it doesn't take him long reach his orgasm, pumping a few more times into you before he take his cock out and paints your stomach and breasts with white, silky strands.

this all really happened.

After you both come down from your high, you cup his face in your warm palms, your stare tied to his. Joel's eyes were soft, warm, and filled with something you'd never seen beforeㅡ something that made your heart swell even more and realize what just went down between you two. "Should've done that a long time ago," he said with a soft, crooked smile, his thumb brushing against your cheek, still a little out of breath. You laughed lightly, still caught in the moment. "Yeah, you should've." His smile grew, and he leaned in again, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "You know this changes things, right?"

"I know," you whispered, feeling the truth of it all settle into your bones. "I want it to."

[gay-dorito-dust]

I love all the things you write for the bat boys! So it just makes me wonder, how would the bat boys react to their partner doing the thing from tiktok where they’re all like “My boyfriend just told me he doesn’t love me anymore” all bc they told them that they couldn’t shop on Amazon anymore? 😂😂😂

I dunno what this was tbh.

Jason

Raises his brow at you the moment you say this, unamused. ‘Says the one who’s spending unnecessary amounts of money on 50cm plushies.’ He retorts.

You huffed as you crossed your arms over your chest. ‘Could’ve fooled me.’ You really wanted that 50cm hello kitty plush but Jason had to pull you away from doing so unfairly.

Jason groaned as he knelt in front of you. ‘Sweetheart, if I could I would give you all the plushies your heart desires, but you’ve got to think we’ve got limited living space and besides you were bound to get annoyed with how much space they take up sooner or later. I’m doing this for us, okay?’ He said as he searched your eyes.

You started at him for a bit before relaxing your arms. ‘Okay.’ You murmured.

Jason smiled, ‘do you take back your statement about me not loving you?’ He asked.

‘I guess.’ You replied, still not looking at him but Jason brought his hand to your chin and gently moved it so that you were stuck staring at him as he smiled at you sweetly. ‘I’ll ask again, do you take back the statement that I don’t love you?’

‘Yes, I take it back.’ You said louder this time. ‘I take back my statement that you don’t love me, I was being dramatic and I’m sorry that’s I’d ever say anything bad about me sweet, handsome man.’ You added when Jason didn’t think you were being honest and decided to butter him up with flattery.

Jason chuckled as he presses a kiss to your forehead. ‘Flatter won’t get you anywhere sweetheart but I appreciate the attempt, I’ll buy you a plushy for being good as long as you don’t spout such nonsense.’ He hums as he pressed a kiss to your nose before one more against your lips.

‘I promise.’ You said as you closed your eyes, knowing well enough that you could never say such things again when he treated you with nothing but love, respect and willingness to compromise. That and you could never stay mad at him for too long, you didn’t have the heart to.

Dick pouts but still stands strong on his stance.

‘I do love you baby but this has become an addiction, I’m only trying to save you the embarrassment from having your card decline for insufficient funds.’ Dick tells you as though he was helping you break a shitty habit, which you guess he was, but it wasn’t your fault you couldn’t help but buy that one plushy! It looked so lonely and you wanted to give it a home!

‘But, but-‘

‘No buts.’ Dick replied sternly. ‘The plushy would’ve found a better home with that kid that came into the store after us,’ he then squeezed your hand reassuringly, ‘besides i don’t think you really want to Hayley to get to them.’

You winced thinking about how the poor plushies would get torn apart within seconds if Hayley found them, which is why you kept all of your plushies elsewhere while getting Hayley her how set of toys, was it a bit much? Yeah but if it was to make your sweet puppy happy then you’d more than willingly go bankrupt for her just to see her little happy paw tippy taps. ‘I guess you’re right.’ You admitted defeatedly.

‘You hurt my heart when you said I didn’t love you anymore.’ Dick feels you and he brought your hand to his chest to feel his heartbeat. ‘You know I love you more than anything, so please don’t go hurting my heart for the sole purpose of loving you without fail.’ You couldn’t help but internally coo at his words and know that realistically he was looking out for you, so you couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed with how dramatic you are being, especially over something that you could easily get when Dick wasn’t looking.

What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him after all.

‘I’m sorry, what can I do to make it up to you.’ You asked as you looked into his pretty eyes.

‘Since you’re offering Preferably some cuddles, kisses and even more kisses from the most beautiful person I know.’ Dick said with a cheeky smile on his face, the little shit had been planning this the entire time, the conniving little fucker and you fell for his trap without much difficulty. And now you were stuck coddling this smug man as he patted himself on the back for getting back at you for being dramatic over some plushy that he may or may not have bought you already.

[solarmorrigan]

The Ass of Legend

For the @steddie-spooktober day 20 prompt: Cryptid Rated: T | Words: 776 | CW: None | Tags: established relationship, modern AU, Robin Buckley and Steve Harrington are best friends, Eddie doesn't get paid enough to deal with them Divider credit: @saradika

Eddie swears, fumbling and nearly dropping the soapy pan in his hands as Steve’s voice calling from the living room pulls him from his dishwashing fugue state.

He doesn’t sound hurt or alarmed, nothing that would be any cause for concern, but his tone does have that petulant lilt to it that says he wants Eddie’s attention and he won’t give up until he gets it – not that he normally has to fight for it, but Eddie is busy.

“They complain that I don’t do the dishes, then they distract me while I’m trying to do the dishes,” Eddie grumbles as he snaps off the water and strips his dish gloves off. “Need to make up their damn minds.” He stomps out into the living room (as well as he can stomp with just socks on his feet) and finds Steve and Robin sitting on the couch, both staring at Robin’s laptop. “What.” he asks flatly.

Steve looks up, jabbing a finger in Robin’s direction. “Tell Robin I have a better ass than Mothman.”

“No,” Robin says, shooting a narrow-eyed look at Steve, “tell Steve that Mothman has a better ass than him.”

Eddie stares at the both of them for a moment. “What.”

Steve sighs. “I said, tell Robin–”

“No, I heard you,” Eddie cuts in, holding a hand up. “I just– Why are you even– How the fuck am I supposed to know what Mothman’s ass looks like?”

Giving him a look that says this should be entirely obvious, Robin flips her laptop around, the screen of which is covered with– ah. The Point Pleasant Mothman statue. Rather, a closeup of the Point Pleasant Mothman statue’s ass, which is, admittedly, bizarrely well-sculpted.

Eddie glances from the screen, up to Robin, over to Steve, and back again. “I’m… not sure I want to weigh in on this.”

“Ha!” Robin crows. “He didn’t immediately take your side, that means he thinks Mothman’s ass is better!”

“No! No, no,” Eddie says, pointing a finger at Robin. “I didn’t say that, don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Then why don’t you just tell Steve you agree with him?” Robin asks smugly.

“Yeah, Eddie, why don’t you just tell me you agree with me?” Steve chimes in, and Eddie wonders how he suddenly became the center of their argument.

“It’s just that Mothman is a known harbinger of death and disaster.” Eddie holds up his hands in surrender. “I feel like claiming you have a better ass than him is the kind of hubris that precedes getting cursed by the gods.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Okay, Mothman isn’t a god–”

“Still.” Eddie shrugs.

“–and he also isn’t here right now, so I’m pretty sure you can tell me my ass is nicer without fear of getting cursed.”

“I dunno, Steve,” Robin hums. “There’ve been sightings of Mothman in Germany, Japan, Ukraine – all over the world. Who’s to say he’s not in Indiana?”

“All the shit that’s gone down here? I’m pretty sure if Mothman was going to show, he would have by now,” Steve deadpans, and Robin tilts her head with a roll of her eyes that says she reluctantly concedes his point.

“Unless we’re drawing his attention since we’ve said his name so many times,” Eddie says.

“No, I think that might be Bloody Mary,” Robin replies, and Steve huffs.

“Okay, regardless – look at it this way:” he says, turning to Eddie, “if you think Mothman has a better ass, you can drag yours all the way down to Virginia–”

“West Virginia,” Robin corrects.

“Whatever. You can go all the way down there and touch the statue’s ass, because you’re not gonna be touching mine,” Steve concludes.

And that’s just cruel. That’s fighting dirty. Steve knows Eddie will do anything for continued ass-touching privileges.

“Welp.” Eddie claps his hands together. “You heard it here first: Steve’s ass is better than Mothman’s.”

“Ha!” Steve exclaims, practically bouncing on the couch in excitement. “Told you!”

Robin groans, snapping her laptop shut. “That doesn’t count. Eddie’s biased and you cheated.”

“I did not cheat,” Steve sniffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“He’s right, it’s not cheating,” Eddie agrees. “He just used his assets.”

Robin and Steve stare at him.

“Get it?” Eddie asks with a grin. “Ass–”

“Boo,” Robin calls out, pulling a tissue from the nearby box with express purpose of balling it up to throw at him. It unballs and lands sadly on the coffee table two feet in front of her. “Go finish the dishes, you absolute goon.”

Eddie sighs, turning back to the kitchen. His contributions are woefully underappreciated around here.

[dandylovesturtles]

And here it is, part 4 of the Room Fic! ...or well. part of part 4.

see, Part 4 is going to be pretty long and take me awhile, so I decided to release it on tumblr as I go, in parts. and since we're already in a numbered list, I'll go by letters now. So this is Part 4 Part A!

it's fine, it makes sense!

I'm going to release it here on tumblr in parts, and then when it's all done I'll put it on AO3, and probably do some proper editing and may add/fix some things up once the whole thing is written. So consider this a semi-WIP. but I doubt it will change much because I usually don't change things too much after I finish writing them haha

anyway, hope you enjoy!

content warnings: discussions of food issues, anxiety, aftermath of torture

also, if you're confused, start here!

-----

Raph spots the change in Leo’s train car on the way to breakfast. He stops and tries to make sense of it for a minute, before making his way to the kitchen.

Mikey is already there, as is Splinter, making some tea. “Morning!” Mikey trills, scraping some scrambled eggs into a big platter.

“Mornin’,” Raph echoes back. He meant to sound neutral at worst, but his tone still earns a worried look from Mikey.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’s wrong,” Raph says quickly. “I just… noticed Leo did some redecorating.”

“Oh, yeah…” Mikey chews on his lip. “What’s up with that?”

“I dunno, but it makes Raph uneasy.”

“What is it?” asks Splinter, looking at them each in turn. 

“Leo covered up all his windows,” Mikey tells him.

“Ah, I see.” Splinter sets cups in front of them, followed by the tea pot. “I will go check on him.”

Splinter leaves Mikey and Raph looking at each other uncertainly.

“Why would he need the windows covered?” asks Mikey. “What does he need to hide from here?”

“I dunno, Mike.” Raph sighs. “I guess he doesn’t feel safe yet.”

“But he’s home,” Mikey insists. “He’s with us.”

“Yeah,” says Raph, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

“I told him to talk to us if anything’s bothering him.” Mikey taps the spatula against the empty skillet. “He said he would, but…”

Raph doesn’t know if he should feel surprised or not. “He hasn’t talked to you about anything?”

Mikey scowls. “Nothing important,” he says.

Raph chuckles. “Well, you are his little brother-“

“I’m not that little!” Mikey snaps, throwing the spatula down and rounding on Raph. 

Raph’s a little surprised by the sudden anger. Sure, Mikey has been insisting on his independence more and more, but this is more aggressive than usual.

“Raph didn’t mean anything by it,” he says, but Mikey doesn’t stop glaring. Raph is saved by Splinter’s return.

“He is sleeping quite soundly,” their dad announces, hopping up onto a stool and grabbing for the platter of eggs. “He was even drooling a bit.” Splinter chuckles.

“Okay, but you’re going to ask about it when he wakes up, right?” asks Mikey.

“No.” Splinter scoops the eggs onto his plate. “If he wants to explain, he will.”

“You don’t think it’s… I dunno. Concerning?” Raph asks.

“It is not hurting anyone. And it has helped your brother sleep. There’s nothing wrong with it,” says Splinter, and it has an air of finality.

Mikey looks unsatisfied with that outcome, but he doesn’t say anything. He fixes a plate for Leo and puts it into the microwave for safekeeping.

Raph isn’t sure where he lands. All he knows is that he sure as heck isn’t going to be the one to ask about it.

-----

Leo comes in about twenty minutes later, after they’ve already finished eating. He’s still wearing his pajamas, one of his thinner throw blankets, with the Jupiter Jim logo, pulled around his shoulders like a shawl. If you focus on his torso, he almost looks like a healthy teenager, thanks to his shell.

But his hands are still drawn and thin where they grip the fabric, his wrists bony where they peek out of his sleeves. His cheeks are still sunken in and his skin hasn’t regained its usual vibrancy. And there’s a subtle shake to his movements, like the effort it took to walk from his room to the kitchen was immense.

Oh, and there’s the absolutely devastated look on his face when he sees the empty plates.

Raph remembers, again, when Leo had practically begged them not to let him sleep through breakfast in the motel, and he feels a sick twist of his stomach.

“Geez, you guys didn’t leave any for me?” he asks, and his voice sounds light and joking and completely at odds with the expression on his face. Raph is pretty sure Leo doesn’t even know he looks like that; their self-appointed face man, who usually has so much control over his appearance, not even aware of how far his heart has slipped onto his sleeve.

“We have you a plate right here,” says Mikey, scrambling to open the microwave. “Want me to warm it up any?”

“No,” says Leo a little too quickly. His eyes stay locked on the plate even as he pulls on a smile that is so carefree it’s in obvious opposition with the rest of him. “I’m sure it’s fine - thanks, Angelo.”

Mikey tries to smile as he hands the lukewarm plate of eggs and toast to Leo. Leo takes it and grabs his fork with urgency he tries not to show. His bites are so steady and evenly paced that Raph bets he could clap the beat out if he wanted to - Leo doing all he can not to look like he’s scarfing.

Okay, so Leo clearly isn’t better yet; it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. Any conversations Raph wants to have about what happened in that room will have to wait. That’s okay - he can be patient.

To keep from watching too obviously, he takes out his phone. April texted the group chat twenty minutes ago, saying she had some homework to catch up on but she’ll be coming over later today. Raph’s glad, because having her around keeps them all in better spirits. He spends way longer than necessary trying to find the exact gif to use as a reaction to the news.

“Can I have another piece of toast?” Leo asks, pulling Raph’s attention from his phone. He’s already eaten the ones Mikey gave him, and about half his eggs. He taps his fork against the empty half of his plate at a quick pace.

Is this the first time Leo has actually asked for something outright? Raph isn’t sure.

Mikey grimaces and checks his phone. “Barry said to give you that much… Oh, but if you’re still hungry, you can have yogurt!”

He opens the fridge to retrieve it. Leo scowls, scooping up a bite of eggs with more force than before, the scrape of metal on porcelain.

“Barry said,” he grumbles. “How long do we gotta listen to that guy?”

“He’s doing a lot of work to help you, Leo,” says Raph. “He seems to know what he’s talkin’ about.”

“Aw, come on. It’s one piece of toast!” Leo leans toward Mikey. “It’s not gonna hurt me!”

His voice is light, almost joking, but he’s doing it again: that sad, pitiful look. Raph is sure he doesn’t know he’s doing it.

It feels impossible to deny that face. Raph looks at Mikey, who looks back at him, both of them equally unsure.

“Well…” says Mikey weakly, glancing back toward the toaster. He’s going to give in, and Raph can’t blame him. Splinter doesn’t step in to help, either. “Barry said…”

Leo smiles. It looks almost manic. “What Draxum doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” he says in a singsong.

“What won’t I know?”

Raph jumps. Everyone jumps - some family of ninja they are.

Draxum stands at the foot of the escalator into their makeshift kitchen, arms folded. Raph has to hold back a sigh of relief, and he sees Mikey’s shoulders sag in turn. Leo scowls, whirling to glare at Draxum.

“Oh, come on!” he snaps. “Don’t you have other teenagers to torture today?”

“It’s Saturday,” says Draxum, crossing the room to sit at a chair. “So you have the benefit of my full attention.”

“Auuugh,” Leo groans, slumping dramatically at the table, and ignoring the effect his casual use of the word torture has had on everyone else in the room. Raph feels ill. Mikey looks it.

“Can Blue have another piece of toast?” Splinter asks, cutting through the awkward silence that follows this. He sounds almost annoyed as Leo, but as far as Raph can tell he’s letting Draxum take the lead on this one. Raph wonders if they’ve talked about it without him or his brothers around.

“Hmmm…” Draxum looks at Leo’s plate, considering. “Finish your eggs and yogurt first. If you’re still hungry, you may have another piece. But only if you’re hungry.” His expression turns even more stern, leveled directly at Leo. “Do not eat if your stomach is full. You’ll make yourself sick.”

“I’m not gonna make myself sick,” Leo argues.

“Hmph,” says Draxum, the short noise coated thick in disbelief. He doesn’t say anything more. Leo goes back to his rhythmic eating.

Raph grabs the empty plates from Mikey and Splinter and takes them to wash. Anything to keep himself from staring at Leo. And it’s his lucky day: there’s a whole stack of a distraction waiting for him in the sink. He runs the hot water and gets to work.

“Morning, family,” comes Donnie’s sleepy voice a few minutes later. Raph doesn’t look, and he doesn’t have to, because Donnie characteristically beelines straight for the coffee pot on the counter. Raph knew he went to his room after their talk in the lab the day before, but he’s not sure how much sleep Donnie actually got.

He leans sluggishly against the counter and checks his phone while the coffee brews. Raph keeps his focus on the dishes. Leo finishes his eggs and Draxum agrees to half a piece of toast - Mikey scrapes his stool against the floor as he jumps up to make it.

Donnie fills his mug and immediately takes a drink with no fear of scalding his mouth. Then he turns around and says, “Why’d you cover all the windows in your train car, Leo?”

Raph fumbles and drops the dish he had just pulled from the soapy water - thankfully it doesn’t break on the way down. Next to him, Mikey freezes. The toaster dings into the silence.

“Oh, that,” says Leo, nonchalant. Raph doesn’t turn around, so he has no idea if his face matches his tone this time. “I was just trying to envision how the room would look with curtains.”

“Using towels?”

“What can I say, I’m a visual guy.”

“Hmm…” Donnie pushes off the counter and disappears from Raph’s view. “Well, did you decide you want curtains?”

“Uh, yeah… I think it would really up the feng shui in the joint! And our old rooms didn’t have any windows, so too much light gets into the train car when I’m trying to sleep, anyway.”

The argument rolls so naturally off Leo’s tongue that Raph is impressed.

“Okay,” says Donnie simply. “I can install curtain rods in your room later. I actually have some leftover scrap metal that I’ve been trying to find a purpose for, and I think it will work well for this.”

“Really? You’ll do it today?”

“Yes. I don’t have anything else on my to-do list… that can’t wait until tomorrow.”

Leo chuckles, but he sounds genuinely happy when he says, “Thanks, Dee.”

“And I have some leftover fabric I can sew into curtains,” Splinter adds. “You can use them until you’re well enough to find some you prefer.”

“Yeah? You don’t mind?”

“Of course not, Blue! It will be a nice little project to keep my old hands busy.”

“Thanks, Dad,” says Leo sincerely. There’s some shifting around like he’s getting an ever-coveted Splinter Hug. It lasts a beat longer than those hugs normally do. Raph can’t blame his dad - if he could, he’d pick Leo up and never let him go again.

He hears a clink next to him and turns his head. Mikey has buttered Leo’s toast, but now he’s standing still, a pensive frown on his face, the butter knife clenched in his fist.

“Hey, Leo,” he says, turning around, and Raph senses danger. He turns around, too, watching as Mikey approaches the table. “Is that the only reason you want curtains?”

Leo looks between the toast and Mikey’s face. He tenses up, the empty yogurt cup crinkling in his grip. “Yeah, that’s all,” he says.

“Are you sure?” Mikey asks. He still has the half slice of toast in his hands. Leo’s eyes keep catching on it.

“What’s there to be sure about, Miguel?” he asks. “It’s just curtains. Lots of people have ‘em.”

“It’s just that you never said anything about it before. And now suddenly you need curtains today?” Mikey’s hands wave and take the toast with them - Leo’s eyes track the movement. “You told me, if anything is-“

“Michelangelo,” says Splinter sternly, making everyone jump for the second time this morning. “That is your brother’s toast - give it to him.”

Mikey seems to remember the food in his hands at that exact moment. He grimaces, quickly depositing the toast onto Leo’s plate. Leo’s face has that sad, desperate quality to it again as he grabs the toast in his fingers, like he has to make sure no one else will take it.

Mikey backs away from the table, crestfallen. The silence that ensues is uncomfortable again.

“Uh… well I think the curtains will look great!” says Raph. “Snazzy!”

Snazzy? Oh Pizza Supreme in the Sky help him.

“…Thanks, Raph,” says Leo, and takes a bite of toast. It doesn’t have the same warmth from before, and the awkwardness is thick now.

Raph dries the dish he has in his hands and sets it on the counter, pops the drain plug, and quicksteps for the doorway.

“I’m going to do my morning training!” he calls, to convince everyone, especially himself, that he isn’t running away.

-----

Leo sits alone in his dad’s recliner, staring very hard at the opposite wall and willing himself not to barf.

The piddling amount of eggs and toast he ate at breakfast would not have been enough to fill him up even three weeks ago, but now it’s stuffed his shrunken stomach. The truth is, he’d been full when he bargained with Draxum for another piece of toast, but he hadn’t been willing to let the fight go.

Besides, he doesn’t know when he’ll get food next. And better to be overfull than hungry.

He’s being dramatic, of course. He’ll get food at lunch… probably. No, definitely, because he’s home and his family would never deny him food.

Except, the way Mikey had held his toast and demanded answers about the curtains…

Leo really thought he had gotten away with it, too. No one said anything until Donnie did, and Donnie had seemed completely convinced by Leo’s casual responses! But of course Mikey saw through him. Mikey’s as keen when it comes to people as Leo himself is, but where Leo uses that insight to manipulate and obfuscate, Mikey uses it to tear open, to expose.

Leo will have to watch out, next time. He can’t let half-thought through excuses stand between him and food.

Not that they’d actually keep food from him. Because they love him and they’re his family. He’s just being weird again.

Still…

His stomach gurgles uncomfortably, and Leo grips the arms of the chair. He really doesn’t want to throw up. Besides the mess he’ll make of the recliner, and the unpleasantness of the sensation, he doesn’t want to lose everything he ate earlier. He still doesn’t know when he’s going to eat again. If he loses it here, he’ll truly have nothing.

“Blue? Are you alright?”

He turns his head. Splinter is standing by the chair, looking up at him. It occurs to Leo he didn’t actually ask if he could sit here, and he starts to push himself up.

“I can get in a beanbag-”

“No no, it’s alright,” says his dad, hopping up onto the chair to join Leo. He does it so lightly the recliner barely jostles. “You’re alright, Blue. Just breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

Leo does as he’s told, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He wonders how his dad seems to know the problem without having to be told - from raising four children alone, most likely. After a moment, he feels the chair move, the back reclining and the footrest coming up under his legs. Then furry hands gently tug his blanket from around his shoulders and spread it out over his whole body.

“There we go,” says Splinter after that’s done. “Are you comfy, Blue?”

All Leo can do is give a tiny nod of his head; anything more aggravates the nausea. It seems Splinter understands, though, as he hums approvingly and hops off the chair.

“What’s wrong?” asks a new voice, and Leo grits his teeth. He doesn’t move from his spot, though.

“Blue just needs some rest,” says Splinter.

“He ate too much, didn’t he?” Draxum asks, tone irritated. “I told him not to have more unless he was actually hungry-”

“Stop,” Splinter commands, in that firm tone that can’t be argued with. “We will talk about this later.”

Leo wonders if he’s included in the we. But Draxum grumbles something under his breath and retreats, leaving Leo and his dad alone again.

“Don’t worry about him,” says Splinter, moving to turn on the projector. “I’ll deal with it. You just get some rest, Blue.”

He turns on one of his stories on low volume, then climbs back into the chair and settles in beside Leo. The soft whir of the projector, the quiet voices of the actors, and his dad’s breathing lull him into a doze. The nausea, eventually, passes.

-----

After his workout, Raph goes to check on everyone again. It’s becoming a routine.

Splinter’s loud snores lead Raph to him and Leo, both sound asleep in the recliner in the TV room. Raph would wonder how Leo can sleep through that, but he remembers that their dad’s snores used to be piped directly into his room in their old lair. If anything, this is probably nostalgic for him.

Draxum’s in the kitchen. Apparently they’re stuck with him for the weekend. Raph decides not to say anything to him and slips away before he’s noticed.

Now to find his other little brothers. He heads straight for the lab first, already knowing it’s where Donnie would be at this time of day, even if he hadn’t promised to make curtain rods for Leo.

He has to go through the same song and dance as the day before with the voice lock, but the door slides open soon enough, and Raph walks in on an argument. At least he won’t have to go searching for Mikey.

“-don’t understand why you’re so worked up about it,” Donnie is saying. He’s bent over his workbench, goggles pulled down, soldering iron in hand but not on. “It’s just curtains.”

“Because everyone’s acting like it’s not weird!” Mikey argues. He spins on his heel, looking at Raph beseechingly. “Raph, you agree with me, right!?”

“Raph just got here,” Raph says, folding his arms. “Mind filling me in on what we’re arguing about?” Even though he already has a good guess.

“We aren’t arguing,” says Donnie, at the same time Mikey snaps, “Leo, duh!” Donnie sighs, raising his goggles and turning around.

“Mikey is upset that I’m making Leo the curtain rods he asked for.”

“I’m not upset about the curtain rods! But you’re all acting like this is totally normal!”

“Curtains are normal!”

“Leo asking for the curtains is not normal,” Mikey presses. “What does he even need them for!? We live underground!”

“He complained about the light coming through the windows.”

“And he never thought to mention it once over the months we’ve been living here? Come on, Donald, use your brain!”

“Excuse you, I am always using my brain-”

“Leo’s got insomnia, Mikey,” Raph interjects. “Maybe a totally dark room helps him sleep better.”

“He had insomnia in the old lair, too,” Mikey retorts. “And he’s so tired right now all he does is sleep! He was sleeping in the TV room when I came in here!”

Raph doesn’t have a response for that. And the thing is, he thinks he has an idea why Leo wants to block out his windows, and it has nothing to do with his insomnia. But he doesn’t know how much to tell Mikey now. Not without bringing up the security footage.

Maybe Donnie has the same thought, because when Raph glances his way their eyes lock. 

Of course, Mikey notices. Because Mikey is just as observant as Leo, when it comes to people.

“You guys know something,” he says, looking between them.

“No,” says Donnie, too fast.

Mikey pouts at him. “Donald.”

“Leo hasn’t told us any more than he’s told anyone else,” says Raph.

“But you know something. How could you…” His eyes go wide. “The security footage. Donnie copied it all.”

“Well, I did,” Donnie agrees, “but-”

“You guys watched it, didn’t you?” Mikey asks, but it’s more like an accusation.

“No,” says Raph, and now he’s the one who says it too quickly.

Mikey squints at him, then looks back at Donnie, weak link that he is. “Donnie, did you watch that security tape?”

“I did…n’t,” he says, characteristically unconvincingly. Raph groans.

“I knew it!” Mikey lunges for Donnie’s computer, and it’s only Donnie’s battleshell arms that stop him from getting to the keyboard. “Let me see it too!”

“Mikey, stop!” says Raph, coming and putting a hand on his little brother’s shoulder. He winces when it’s shrugged off. “We’re not gonna watch the video.”

“Why not!?” Mikey demands, ripping himself out of Donnie’s metal arms and jumping back from both of them. “Why can’t I see it!? You both got to!” He looks between them with wild eyes, and then his face falls. “It’s because I’m the youngest, isn’t it?”

“No,” says Raph. “It’s because we both decided not to watch any more for Leo’s privacy.”

“For Leo’s privacy?” Mikey doesn’t look convinced. “Raph, he’s hurting! What if what’s on those videos can help?”

“What if watching them hurts him more?” Donnie defends. “He’ll find out we watched them, and then what?”

“He’d understand!”

“Would he?” Donnie sounds doubtful, and Raph can’t help but doubt it, too.

Even Mikey falters. He’s quiet a moment, wrapping his arms tight around his middle.

“...I don’t want him to suffer,” he says finally. “I want to help him.”

“We all wanna help him,” says Raph.

Mikey turns his eyes on Raph, and they’re full of fear and doubt and uncertainty. “You won’t even talk to him,” he says. It’s damning and cold and worst of all, true.

Raph takes a shaky breath, trying not to show his broken heart. “Listen. All Raph’s saying is, it’s barely been three days since we got Leo back home. Let’s give him time. Hopefully he’ll open up about all this stuff on his own.”

“...Fine. I won’t watch the video,” says Mikey. But he steels his expression, defiant. “But I’m going to keep trying to help him.”

“Just don’t push him, Mikey-”

“I won’t! I know what I’m doing.” He gives them a smile, but it’s weak compared to his usual. “Trust me, guys. I’ve got Dr. Feelings on my side!”

He turns and leaves the lab, the door sliding shut with a reverberating shunk behind him. 

Donnie slumps in his chair. “At least it’s not Dr. Delicate Touch.”

Raph laughs at that. It’s about all he can do.

-----

They feed Leo lunch. Of course they do. He doesn’t know why he keeps thinking they might not.

Of course, Draxum is still there, looking over his shoulder like a warden to make sure Leo doesn’t eat so much as a bite more than he’s meant to. It makes the whole experience stressful, and Leo is ready to crash again as soon as it’s over.

(Is this all his life is now? Long periods bogged down in exhaustion, only broken by the reminder that food is always controlled by someone else.)

He hasn’t been dozing for long this time when a shout echoes through the lair, grabbing his attention.

“Hey guys!”

“April!” yells Mikey, springing up from the beanbag he was sitting in. He’d been there for a while now, looking intently at his phone, but Leo never asked. Probably a new game or something. “Come on in!”

She enters the living room, a bag with a familiar comic store logo hung over her arm. She gives Mikey a one-armed hug before making her way around the chair to hold the bag out to Leo.

“Here you go!” she trills. “I picked it up as soon as I got done with my homework.”

Leo takes it, baffled. He reaches into the bag, gripping something rather large and hard-covered; pulling it out reveals…

“…The Jupiter Jim Sixtieth Anniversary Comic Special!?” Leo cries out loud. He lays it in his lap, reverently brushing the cover with his fingers. “It came out!?”

“Uh, yeah, today.” April laughs. “Don’t you remember? You made me set, like, three different reminders.”

Leo stares at the comic book, feeling a strange sort of disconnect. He can remember when he thought about this comic coming out once a day, at least - he’d been counting down the days from the preorder. But… he actually hasn’t thought about it once since…

At some point, he stopped looking forward to the comic. Because he didn’t think he would be here to read it.

But he is here. He’s alive. Time is still moving forward, and the proof is his long-awaited comic book, finally in his hands.

(Maybe his life still has a few good things to look forward to.)

Leo may be tired of crying, but crying isn’t tired of him - the tears come on hot and fast as he processes all of it at once. The grief at what was almost lost and the impossible relief that it wasn’t.

He rubs furiously at his eyes and sniffs aggressively. Then he looks up at April with the best smile he can manage and holds out his arms.

“Thanks, April.”

“Of course!” She beams, not commenting on the tears, and gives him a hug that is tight and warm and everything he wants. “Now you don’t have to keep texting me about it.”

Leo laughs as he lets go. It’s still a little watery, but she doesn’t comment. “Well what are we waiting for? Wanna read it together?”

“Uh, duh!” April shoves him to the side without any force and settles in next to him on the chair. “I heard they brought back all the old comics characters for this!”

Leo nods excitedly, eyes rising to meet Mikey’s. “How about you, Mikester? We can do the voices!”

Even though he knows his voice won’t hold out for more than a few pages.

“Oh yeah!” says Mikey. “Just let me-”

He looks down at his phone, and Leo catches it as his expression changes - something on the screen taking his attention and causing him to furrow his brow.

“Aaactually,” he says, looking back up with a forced smile. “I have… something I have to do. Somewhere else! But you guys have fun!”

And then he disappears down the escalator toward their train cars.

Leo watches him go, then turns back to look at April. She’s craned her neck to watch, too, a worried pinch to her eyebrows behind her glasses.

It clears up when she catches Leo looking. “Welp. Guess it’s just you and me, then!”

Leo rubs his fingers over the cover again. His desire to read it disappeared with Mikey. Donnie’s busy, Raph’s avoiding him, and now Mikey has more important things to do.

At least April is here. He worms himself a little more solidly against her warmth and hopes he doesn’t drive her away, too.

“Let’s do something else for now,” he says. “Save this bad boy for when we can all read it together.”

April’s eyes go wide. “You sure? I don’t think the guys would mind…”

“Uh, no, Donnie would definitely kill me if I read anything with Atomic Lass before him.” Leo gently sets the comic aside. “Besides, how are we gonna do the voices with just two of us?”

“What, you’re saying I can’t handle it?” April asks, a challenge in her voice. “I bet I could do a one-woman show.”

“Oh, I’d love to see that!” Leo laughs, and it’s only because April is here that it’s genuine and not forced. “But I don’t think I could stay awake for the whole thing, anyway.”

“Well… fine.” April relents. “Anything you wanna do instead?”

“Mmm…” He hands her the remote. “It’s been awhile since we judged people on Say Yes to the Dress.”

“Ooo, you are so right!” April flips on the projector and starts loading up the episodes. “Hold on, let me find where we left off.”

Soon, the sounds of over-dramatic reality TV fill the room. Leo shifts until his head is tucked under April’s chin, and she scratches her fingernails over his shell as they watch. They give their opinions on the dresses and jeer the catty friends and family members.

It feels so normal. The most normal Leo’s felt since he woke up in a room that was nothing but white.

It proves to him that things can be normal.

(But still, in the back of his mind, he wonders when his next meal will be.)

-----

Raph isn’t sure how many more tense dinners his family can survive.

They’re eating beef stew, partly so Leo doesn’t feel like the odd one out with his soup. Except he’s still the odd one out, because they have big chunks of beef and veggies while he has mostly broth with easy to swallow carrots, and some more egg for protein.

Raph hates eating in front of him. It feels like rubbing it in. But would taking their food and leaving him to eat alone be any better?

Probably not, because Draxum would still be watching him. And that’s the biggest source of tension.

Draxum is sitting at the table like the rest of them, but he might as well be looming over Leo’s shoulder. Leo himself stays hunched over his bowl of soup like he thinks it’s going to be snatched away at any moment, eating with quick, furtive movements, his eyes darting to Draxum each time.

It’s the exact opposite of his measured eating from this morning, and even more unsettling.

April is here, thank the Pizza Supreme, and she’s trying to keep the conversation going so they don’t all dwell on the bad vibes from Leo’s direction. Only Splinter is biting, though. Raph tries, of course, but…

He’d take fighting a villain a million times over this.

“Oh yeah, Donnie, Leo said you and Splints are making him curtains for his train car,” says April, grabbing Raph’s attention. “How’s that going?”

Across the table, Mikey’s expression turns conflicted. He focuses his eyes on his food and doesn’t catch Raph watching.

“Oh, it’s going well,” says Donnie, “but I didn’t have enough spare metal to finish. I’ll go to the scrapyard tomorrow and see what I can scrounge up.”

“Hmm… I do not like the idea of you going alone,” says Splinter hesitantly. “We do not know if those people will come back.”

No one has to ask what people he’s referring to. Still, Donnie looks irritated.

“Papa, it’s just the scrapyard,” he argues. “I’ll be back before it’s dark.”

“Still…”

“I’ll go with him!” says Mikey suddenly, raising his hand to volunteer. “Then he won’t be alone. Buddy system!” He slaps his raised hand down on Donnie’s shoulder. 

“Ow,” says Donnie in a flat tone, reaching up and shoving him off. “Despite the unnecessary assault on my person, I’m amenable to Micheal accompanying me.”

“What’s “amenable”?” Leo asks in a stage whisper. 

(It’s the most like himself he’s sounded all day.)

“I think it’s what you say at the end of a prayer,” Mikey stage whispers back.

(Raph can help his smile. He hides it behind his napkin.)

“It means I’m fine with it,” Donnie snaps. “None of you read my Word of the Day texts, do you?”

“Only ‘cause it’s words no one uses,” Leo scoffs. “Seriously, who even uses words like “sanctimonious”?”

“Lots of people!”

“Lots of nerds?”

Donnie glares at him. “You are so lucky we’re having a nice dinner right now, Nardo.”

Leo snorts and refocuses on his soup. He has a big, cocky grin on his face, and it’s all so normal that Raph feels something unknot in his chest. Maybe, Leo really is starting to get better. 

And then Splinter says, “I also need to go out tomorrow… It’s been so long since we got groceries, I couldn’t even eat my usual microwave burrito for lunch!”

And just like that, the normalcy is ripped away again.

Leo’s eyes snap up, locking on their dad, unblinking. His knobbly fingers press tighter around his bowl, pulling it closer to him like he’s scared someone will snatch it away.

“We’re running out of food?”

He sounds so scared that Raph can’t stop himself before he’s reaching over. Just to put his hand on Leo’s shoulder, to give him a hug, if he wants. Anything he needs to calm down, to not look so terrified.

But Leo must misread the action, because he jerks away, gripping the bowl impossibly tighter, eyes blown out wide and a just noticeable tremble in his shoulders. Like he’s scared of Raph.

Raph pulls his hand back without making contact and hunches in his chair, as far away as he can get from Leo without leaving the table. Or maybe he should just get up and leave. How can he be around his little brother when he’s scared of him like this?

“Ah, no,” says Splinter, and this has finally broken his easy-going tone. “There is still plenty of food, Blue, don’t worry.”

“…Hah. Right. Of course there is,” says Leo.

His voice is high and reedy, his face twitching like it’s trying to force itself back into the big smile from earlier but just doesn’t know how to move its muscles. “Why wouldn’t there be?”

Splinter reaches out hesitantly and gives Leo a pat on the arm. Leo flinches, his grip on his bowl still tight, and Splinter retreats again.

“Hey, Pops,” says Raph, drawing attention off Leo. “I can go with you tomorrow.” 

They can get more food with more hands.

“Oh, thank you, Red,” says Splinter, relieved. “That will make things much easier to carry.”

“Sure,” says Raph. Then he upends the rest of his stew into his mouth and swallows it all as fast as he can before standing up.

“Welp, I’m done with dinner so I’m going to get a workout in before bed night everyone!”

And then he’s out of there. Running away from the haunted shell of Leo.

He doesn’t know what to do with a little brother who ducks away from his hands. He doesn’t know what to do with a little brother who covers windows and hides from his eyes. He doesn’t know what to do with a little brother who looks up at him and says, “That’s not what a hero would do.”

Raph is a big guy and he’s never been good with fragile things. So maybe the best thing he can do for now is stay back and let those with deft hands take the lead.

Even if it’s not what he wants.

What he really wants to do is go back to that facility. Find the men that did this to Leo. And then…

Raph lines up his punching bag and swings. Over and over and over, until his fingers sting.

-----

They’re leaving him here. They’re leaving him alone.

Alone with Draxum. 

Leo wants to protest. He wants to beg them to stay. He wants them to not want to leave him to begin with.

But Splinter said they haven’t gotten groceries in awhile. And even if he claims they aren’t running out of food, Leo is terrified of what happens if they do.

So he doesn’t ask his dad to stay. He keeps his mouth shut, focus on his bowl of soup, depressingly empty next to everyone else’s.

But Donnie… Donnie doesn’t have to go to the scrapyard tomorrow, right?

Yeah… Leo can survive the lack of curtains for another day. He slept just fine with his makeshift window blockers last night, after all. He appreciates that Donnie wants to get it done quickly, but there’s no need.

“Hey, Dee,” he says, looking up, and realizing too late that he just interrupted something April was saying. Everyone goes quiet, anyway, and he feels the suffocating weight of everyone’s eyes on him.

His mouth goes dry.

“Yes, Leo?” Donnie prompts when he doesn’t say anything. He looks confused, and concerned. They all do. Because it’s super weird for Leo to say something and then fall silent. Just like it would be weird for him to beg Donnie to stay because he’s afraid of being alone with Draxum.

“Just, uh… excited to see the curtain rods,” he says, pivoting to a neutral topic. Maybe no one noticed. Maybe he was quick enough.

Donnie’s face lights up the way it does when anyone wants to see his handiwork, which is good. Leo likes making his brothers happy. Pizza Supreme knows he hasn’t been good at it lately.

“Of course!” he says, practically bouncing in his seat. “I’ll show you after dinner!”

“Can’t wait.”

Conversation moves on. Leo finishes his soup.

“Are you still hungry?” Draxum asks, making him jump. “Do not lie to me, this time.”

“Draxum,” says Splinter in a warning tone. But that’s all he does. He doesn’t offer Leo more food. He doesn’t argue that Leo wouldn’t lie.

They haven’t been grocery shopping in awhile.

“…No,” Leo says, twisting his napkin in his hand. “I’m full.”

-----

“I focused on the windows directly around your bed to begin,” Donnie says as he leads Leo into his train car, a bounce in his step as he pushes past the curtain. “To help you get a good night’s sleep. And Dad already hung what curtains he had finished, so you can even see the final result!”

Leo steps into the middle of the room and looks around. The curtain rods are simpler than he expected, simple things fastened to the wall, able to be unlatched so the rods can be removed and the curtains swapped out. Every windows’ brackets are slightly different, a testament to the scraps Donnie used to make them, but Leo likes that - this hodge-podge, improvised way of home decor has always been their style. It has a charm you can’t get in a normal house.

Donnie has also painted the rods a gunmetal blue, and some of the brackets have Ls etched into the metal. It’s little details like that that leave Leo touched.

The curtains themselves are just black fabric, sewn so they can loop over the rods and be pulled aside when desired. It’s simple and quick, but they represent hours his dad spent today at a sewing machine, just to help him sleep.

Leo feels himself getting a little teary again, and he quickly blinks it back. He doesn’t feel like crying today.

“It’s so cool, Dee,” he says, and his voice is genuine; he catches Donnie flap his hands in a pleased way out of the corner of his eye. “Thanks. This will really help a lot.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you like them!” Donnie is all smiles, and it makes Leo smile, too. “I wanted to make them more elaborate, but I thought time was of the essence. I would have been done today, if I hadn’t run out of materials.”

“No way, man, you got a lot more done today than I thought you would.” Then again, Donnie always has been quick, even more so since he got his powers, so Leo shouldn’t be so surprised. “What else could you even do to them? Add AI?”

“Oho, don’t tempt me.” Donnie reaches up and taps one of the brackets with a nail, making a soft ping. “Then you could open or close all the curtains with voice command!”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m good using my hands.” He spins to take the room in one more time, then claps his arm around Donnie’s shoulders.

(The pang when his arm hits the metal shell is more jarring than it used to be.)

“Seriously, hermano. Thanks.”

Donnie doesn’t pull away quite as quickly as he used to. “Well. Save any more thanks until I finish with the project. Which should be soon, after my scrapyard run tomorrow!”

Right. The scrapyard. This is when Leo should bring it up. This is the perfect time.

He can just ask Donnie to stay. To put it off one more day, work on something else. Here, in his room, just the two of them, he doesn’t think Donnie would refuse him. He doesn’t think Donnie would make fun of him. He doesn’t think Donnie would call him weird.

“Actually, uh…”

He remembers Donnie taking his cracker and eating it.

“Hm?” Donnie turns out of his arm and looks at Leo, confused. “What’s wrong?”

He remembers Donnie’s reaction to the chewed up bottle cap.

“Leo?”

“Nothing,” he says quickly, rubbing the back of his head. “Just… be careful, okay? We don’t know if those EPF guys have come back.”

Donnie’s face drops into a more serious expression. “Right. Don’t worry - I’ve taken precautions.”

“What precautions?”

“I’ve updated the software on all our trackers. If they leave the city limits, or if a third party attempts to interfere with the signal, they’ll immediately send an alert to everyone’s phones.”

“You don’t think that’s a little… excessive?”

Donnie folds his arms over his chest. “Not if it keeps everyone safe.”

Leo doesn’t know how to argue with that.

“I am working on a way that we can each override it, though,” Donnie adds. “We wouldn’t want to scare each other if we leave the area on purpose. And I have plans for even more enhancements that can-”

“Eugh boy.” Leo motions Donnie toward the door. “I’m way too tired for speech mode, Dee. Maybe later?”

Donnie scowls. “Exasperated sigh. There is never a “later” with you.”

Leo laughs. “You got me!”

“You could really stand to pay attention and learn something… But, alright.” Donnie steps toward the curtain. “I will let you get away with it this time, only because you’re still recovering.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Yes.” But Donnie gives him a grin on the way out. “Goodnight, Nardo.”

“Night, nerd!”

As soon as Donnie’s gone, Leo sinks onto his bed and puts his head in his hands.

He couldn’t ask Donnie to stay. He couldn’t, because it would be weird and strange and bad. And now he’s going to be left alone with Draxum.

Will Draxum even let him eat? What if he decides Leo’s had enough…?

It’s a stupid thought. Of course Draxum will let him eat. Otherwise, Leo’s family would… do something!

Right?

He thinks about Donnie taking the cracker again. His pulse quickens.

He can’t go without food again. He can’t. He doesn’t think he would be able to take it.

But if no one else is going to give him food, then… then…

Leo takes a deep breath and steels his resolve. He knows what he needs to do.

He grabs the curtain on the nearest window and pulls it over, just a crack - just enough to see the lights outside, to see when they dim as the rest of his family goes to bed for the night.

And he waits.

-----

By the time Raph finally leaves the dojo, it’s dark in the lair, with only some safety lighting and a few neon signs still on. He can hear his dad snoring from the TV room, the projection flickering on the end card of a show, and as he passes their extra train car he sees Draxum inside, working on something under a desk lamp. Mikey and Leo are both in their rooms, from what he can tell, and Donnie must be in his lab.

He’ll go on his rounds in a bit; first, he beelines for the kitchen for water and a nighttime snack.

He’s quiet as he walks up the escalator, knowing exactly which steps creak and squeal and carefully avoiding them. He doesn’t want a conversation right now; not with his wrapped knuckles and sweat-soaked mask dangling from his fingers.

The kitchen’s dark when he arrives, and he fumbles around for the switch, missing it a few times. It’s so different from the layout of the old lair, and he’s not usually the first one in the kitchen in the morning.

He finally flips on the light, and finds he isn’t the first one in the kitchen tonight, either.

Leo stands frozen by the counter, eyes wide and panicked when they meet Raph’s. In his hands he’s clutching a half-full bag of chips, sour cream and onion, the plastic crinkling and snapping where he grips it tight. He looks like a terrified, wild animal, drowning in one of his own hoodies and stancing up like he’s ready to bolt. Like he’s doing something wrong, getting a snack in his own house.

Except… he kind of is doing something wrong. And that’s what breaks Raph’s heart.

But what is Raph supposed to do here? Tell Leo he can’t eat that, the same as his captors did? Try to explain to him why he can’t have it, when Raph barely understands the reasons himself? Rip the bag from his weak hands, and prove to Leo once and for all that his family can’t be trusted?

Raph is supposed to be the biggest brother. The one who always knows exactly what to do, exactly how to help, who protects his three little knuckleheads from a world that wants to hurt them.

But he doesn’t know what to do about this. It’s just not in his playbook.

He’s never been good with fragile things.

Raph reaches over and flips off the kitchen light. He goes back to the escalator, and dodges the squeaky steps. He goes to his train car, and pulls the curtain over the doorway.

He pretends he didn’t see.

-----

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 Part A (here) | Part 4 Part B (not out yet)

[astralee]

party pooper

remus lupin x fem!reader

parties are the worst. you decide that after your first ever party with your friends when you’re all pissed off your heads and throwing up. you’d sworn them off forever- well you did until a certain person entered your life.

‘certain person’ goes by the name remus lupin, one of the four marauders. he’s a rather sarcastic boy with a gorgeous smirk that’d knock the socks off of anyone. unfortunately for you, the other 3 marauders were a package deal that came along with your relationship and the package deal love throwing parties.

that’s how you end up here, surrounded by sweaty bodies that are shitfaced and all up over eachother. it’s like hell- scratch that. you’d much prefer hell, but for remus you’ll continue to go to the dreaded parties.

“still feeling alright?” remus quizzed when you shuffled over to stand between his legs. he was sat on the couch and the space next to him was sadly already occupied. “we can get off if you want.”

you’d love that, but remus is surrounded by his friends and he’s having fun. “better than alright, can i have some of your drink?”

wordlessly, he handed you the drink over and watched as you took a sip. when you finished, he had taken it out your hand, shoved it into marlene’s and reached up for you. “remus!” you chided as he gripped your hips and spun you around before pulling you down onto him. “i could’ve flashed the whole room.”

“you didn’t.” marlene chimed in with a goofy smile, she was definitely drunk. “wish you had though- have i ever told you how gorgeous you are?”

“don’t think so, you gonna tell me?” you grinned at her mischievously, the grin turning into somewhat of a smirk as you felt familiar hands roam around your thigh before settling in one place with a squeeze.

marlene grinned back just as cheeky. “can’t.” she worded simply. “think your fella is getting jealous.”

that brought a laugh out between you all, remus had definitely felt a little jealous. “i’m ready to go upstairs.” he brought his mouth to your ear so he could whisper. “shall we?”

“dunno.” you shrugged. “might stay with marlene.” she wasn’t even paying attention to you both anymore, you just loved to tease.

remus chuckled, stretching his hands around your thighs and poking his fingers just a little up your skirt. the pair of you weren’t usually up for a lot of pda but somehow you both end up really affectionate after a sip of alcohol “and your room is a state.”

remus groaned. “you can’t torture me because the boys are messy.” it was true, the three other boys in the room were beyond messy. remus likes to keep things neat, organised around his bed but the walk through the room to his bed is a hazard. “and we hate your room because the blonde girl is always eyeing me up.”

god she was always eyeing him up. you hadn’t even noticed at first, not until remus mentioned it and from then on you always caught the long stares she’d give him. it didn’t make you jealous, remus would never do anything to hurt you but you knew it made him uncomfortable. “alright let’s go up but if it stinks in there i���m not sleeping, okay?”

“it won’t stink.” remus promised. it probably would but there’s nothing a little spell won’t fix up. “come on then love, let’s get in bed.”

the pair of you ignored the loud protest coming from sirius when you announced you were calling it a night, too entranced in eachother to care and so excited you could finally leave the party

[oliwrites]

Eavesdrop

relationship: loki x fem!reader

genre: smut

summary: loki cant help but overhear your conversation with natasha

warnings: smut (18+) unprotected piv, fingering, thigh riding, squirting, soft dom loki??, multiple orgasms, loki being nosy

“I dunno, Nat… I love him to death, I really do… it’s just…” You say as you run your fingers through your hair. You didn’t like the idea of talking ‘bad’ about Loki behind his back, but this is the only way to get the emotions and thoughts off your chest.

“What is it? Stop beating around the bush! C’mon, I’m good at keeping secrets” Natasha replied, sipping on her beer.

“It’s kind of TMI but—”

“Oh please, TMI is nothing in this friendship and you know it, just spit it out!”

“Well… when Loki and I get… y’know… everything starts out great, but he just gets all soft and vanilla-y and I just wanna—” You start to explain, but stop when what you really want to say gets caught in the back of your throat.

What you and Natasha didn’t know is that Loki had walked out of the bedroom. His ears perked when he heard you say his name, so he walked towards Natasha’s room and listened in.

“Go on…” Natasha said

“Well… when we get frisky… he gets all soft and shit… like all mushy and gushy. Don’t get me wrong, I love it when he’s sweet to me… but I really just wanna be fucked. Not ‘made love to’ but ‘fucked so hard I can’t walk’ y’know?” I explain, a feeling of guilt washing over me as I finally say it.

“Have you tried bringing it up to him?”

“No… I want to, but I just don’t know how or when”

Loki frowned. Was he really boring you that much? You seemed pretty into it when the two of you were in action.

“I mean, when Bruce and I first started out, he was all mushy and stuff, all up until I sat him down in his bedroom and just told him how I felt. Ever since he’s pretty much been Hulk smashing me,” Natasha explained. I roll my eyes at her ‘Hulk smash’ comment

“What if I hurt his feelings?”

“He literally terrorized the city of New York and Stüggart, killed 80 people in 2 days, almost killed the entirety of the Frost Giant race, and faked his death 2 times. I don’t think he’ll be offended. Honestly, he might be more offended if you don’t tell him,” Natasha explained.

“But—”

“No buts, you’re literally the love of his life, and he would probably do anything to make you happy. Just trust me, babe, Loki isn’t going to be offended or mad, just communicate,” Natasha cut you off

Loki agreed silently. Natasha was right. He wasn’t offended or upset. He would climb the highest mountains and cut through every forest just go make you happy, if you asked. He decided to gather a plan, and he walked back into his room.

“You’re right. Thank you, Nat,” I smile and start to stand up, grabbing my beer bottle, and taking another drink of it, “I’m gonna go talk to him about it,” you smile, trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling within your stomach.

“I would say tell me how it goes, but I’m sure I’ll be able to tell if you have a limp tomorrow or not,” Nat snorted, you flipped her off playfully and started to walk out of the room.

When you entered the hallway, you heard your phone buzz. You took it out of your pocket and saw a text from Loki.

Loki: come visit me if you can, my little dove

You smile at his text. The nickname “little dove” always made your heart flutter. You pocket your phone and walk towards Loki’s room. You don’t even bother knocking, considering he was expecting you.

What you weren’t expecting was Loki to practically jump you the second you walked in.

He closed the door and pressed you firmly against it, kissing you hungrily as he groped your breasts without care. It took you by surprise, but you quickly melted into the kiss, kissing him back just as roughly.

Your guys’ tongue and teeth clashed together as he guided you to his bed, pushing you down onto it, before removing his shirt, and hastily removing your sweatpants and tossing them to the side. Before he flipped you over, setting you on his thigh

“Ride me.” He commanded, leaving no room for discussion. You blush and move your hand to the string of his sweatpants, “Not there,” he said simply.

You blush before experimentally rubbing your panty-clad cunt against his thigh. You let out a shaky moan at the new feeling. Loki growled before he started bouncing his leg. You let out a surprised, but aroused shriek, stopping the movement of your hips.

You let out another shriek when you felt his hand come down harshly on your ass.

“Did I say you could stop?” He asked in a serious tone. You shake your head no, “then keep going,” He said simply, before he started to bounce his leg again.

You continue to grind down on him as he bounce his leg. The feeling of cotton against your clit had you almost screaming as you continued to buck down against his thigh.

“Loki, I—” You started, before you cut yourself off with another moan.

“Soak me,” He said, grabbing your hips and pushing you down harder against his thigh.

Your whole body quivered as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your ears started to ring as you soaked his thigh completely, your juices squirting all over him.

He gave you no time to recover before he flipped you over and ripped your panties off and shoving two fingers inside of you, going at a rapid pace.

“Oh gods, Loki!” You screamed out, arching your back off the bed as his fingers drilled into you.

“You wanted to be fucked, hm? Oh I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow…” He said huskily, before going down and attaching his lips to your clit, sucking it harshly.

His words did not process in your mind, instead you screamed out his name and tangled your fingers into his hair.

He curled his fingers at just the right spot and you came again, soaking his face, fingers, and the bedsheets below you as your arousal sprayed out of you once again.

Loki stood up and took off his sweatpants and boxer before flipping you over so your ass is in the air. Without warning he plunged into you, fucking you at a breakneck pace.

“Is this what you wanted, hm? You wanted to be fucked? Treated like a toy?” Loki growled, before slapping your ass harshly as he continued to drill into your abused hole.

“Yes! Fuck, Loki!” You screamed out, grinding back into his hips, meeting each of his thrusts. The words he said remained incoherent, as, lack for better words, he fucked your brains out.

He grabbed a handful of your hair and tugged it back, using it as leverage to fuck you even deeper. You gripped onto the bedsheets for dear life as he pummeled you with his cock.

He grunted as he felt his orgasm approaching, he reached forward, circling your clit at a rapid pace, causing you to scream out his name.

Your orgasm was approaching quickly as he fucked you swiftly. You tried to warn him, but were caught off by your orgasm as if ripped through your body.

You screamed out in sheer pleasure as you came on his cock. Your orgasm triggered his and he thrusted as deep as he could, spilling his seed deep inside of your quim.

He laid down next to you and looked at you with pure love in his eyes. You adjusted and laid down as well, looking at him.

“I actually wanted to talk—” You started, before being cut off by Loki

“You wanted to be fucked, not made love to… I overheard you and the Black Widow talking,” Loki said with a smile, “I hope I was able to fulfill your dreams,”

“Mmm… maybe another round or so could really fulfill my dreams” You smirked before crawling on top of Loki, starting yet another round

~ The Next Morning ~

You woke up in Loki’s bed, with Loki still sleeping peacefully next to you. You smile and decide to get up and head out to the kitchen for coffee.

You walked down the hallway into the Avengers common area where Natasha sat, drinking her own coffee. Natasha laughed at your limp as you hobbled over to the kitchen

“Oh shut the fuck up”

—

hayyy sorry for not posting in foreverrrr but i got bombarded with school, work, and family issues, and i haven’t really had the time to write something (even something small) and i also have officially hit a good ‘ol writers block!! if you have any requests please lmk and i will write them!!!

[undeaddrabble]

IDOL DAILY - New Issue!

(The Amazing Digital Dance Rush AU by @nobody-nexus!)

I finally managed to get my hands on this thing! You wouldn't believe how long it took.

Anyway, I can finally show what's important here...

The info? Nah, don't be silly.

The photos from the photo shoot!

Wow... this sure was a surprise... but a pleasant one! They really outdid themselves this time... can't wait to see what else they got planned in the future!

... Still here? Cool.

Here's something extra <3

After the photoshoot, Jax invited Zooble over to his place. Wind down after all the trouble.

Normally, they would’ve just said no and moved on with their day, but, this time around… why not?

Maybe they’d get some answers. Some stuff didn’t add up.

Zooble looked out the window with contempt.

They glanced down at the crowd of faceless fans screaming their and Jax’s names, singing praises and begging for more.

Those poor fools.

They would never have enough.

They were all just NPCs anyway. It hardly mattered.

But their staring and their screams were still unnerving and grating to Zooble’s being.

They simply closed the curtains, then turned around, and were met by the oversized lagomorph laying down on a fancy couch, drinking wine.

Being at the top of the leaderboard had its perks.

Had the whole place all to himself…

What an ego freak.

“See?” He threw his head back. “I told you the fans would go crazy over this collab.” He took a sip out of his wine and then spread his arms wide. “They’re eating it up!”

Zooble sighed and rolled their eyes. 

“As if that’s even a surprise. They’ll eat anything up.” They sat down on a different couch, keeping their eyes on the rabbit. “If you had collaborated with anyone else it wouldn’t make a difference. You’d get the same result.”

Jax went quiet as he closed his eyes, then sipping his wine again.

“Hmm… maybe you’re right.”

He snapped his fingers and pointed at Zooble.

“But aren’t you glad I picked you out of everyone else?”

Was he expecting them to be thankful?

It wasn’t like they asked for it.

It came out of nowhere.

They squinted silently.

“…Why? You know I don’t even care about the numbers. Or being popular for that matter.”

He spun his drink in his hand, reflecting on his actions for a moment.

It was almost like he wasn’t expecting them to ask.

“I dunno…”

He glanced at Zooble, giving a light shrug.

“Maybe I just felt like being nice?”

The room fell silent for a while.

“…Felt like being nice.”

Zooble repeated his words back to him.

It even felt wrong to say it out loud. They immediately dismissed it.

“Yeah, right.”

Jax simply chuckled.

“What? You don’t believe me?”

They shook their head.

“I have no reason to.”

Jax pretended to be offended, gasping and clutching at his chest. What a drama queen.

“Wow, Zooble. I’m hurt.”

They rolled their eyes once more.

“Psh.”

They got up from their seat, walking over to the bar to pour a glass of wine of their own. “…Whatever.”

[2knightt]

the gangs love languages<3

!warnings!

1.GN!reader-mentions of reader being ‘pretty’

2.minor swearing

3.i did NAWT proofread ts. we die like men.

Johnny Cade ;

I’m getting strong physical touch and words of affirmation vibes.

do not even try to lie to me he would TOTALLY be holding your hand 24/7.

with the gang? you guys have your pinkies intertwined! on a walk? holding hands! cuddling? holding both hands, scandalous!

he hugs you so much. he doesn’t get it, you don’t get it, nobody does.

he just, likes hugging for some reason???

but YOU have to hug him first, he will NOT hug first.

absolutely LOVES being the little spoon. may hurt his ego a little bit, but ykw, it’s worth it in the long run🙏.

he’s so touch starved. he doesn’t know what the loving touch of anyone feels like. so PLEASE, treat johnnycake nicely.

he will CONSTANTLY tell you look look gorgeous. constantly.

“you look stunning today. n-not sayin’ you don’t look good everyday! i mean you’re a real looker ya know and-“

he doesn’t know how to function because he thinks he messes up everytime he tries to speak to you :(

homies that whipped fr…

ANYWAYS, back onto track🙏

when you two are alone he’s actually so sweet with his words i can’t.

“dunno how i got this lucky. huh? i didn’t say anything.”

“you look real good in that shirt, babe.”

“love you so much. so, so, so much.”

Dallas Winston ;

it’s physical touch and acts of service. do not play with me right now, i know i’m right.

i don’t really think dally’s good at expressing how he feels in any shape or form.

so he shows you love by having his hand on your hip, kissing you, stealing cute accessories for you, holding the door open etc.

if you’re expecting him to go on rants on how he loves you, you’re in the wrong place. that’s all sodapop but we aren’t on his section, are we?

anywhere and everywhere you guys go he will have his hand on you. not just because he’s protective but i think it gives him a sense of security and calmness.

like, dallas knowing you’re safe, makes him happy.

SPEAKING OF HIM BEING PROTECTIVE— he will intimidate someone by having his arm around your shoulder and staring right into their eyes.

kisses are his favourite thing💆‍♂️ he told me himself.

he steals shit for you. i know he does, we both know.

dally ain’t well off so, he’s gonna do what he does best. steal.

want that necklace? SNATCHED! want cigarettes? ALREADY IN HIS HAND! pepsi? YOURS ALREADY!

“you want some chips, doll? i’ll get ya some. don’t you worry your pretty little head over it, eh?”

“but you’re broke, dall.”

“what did i just say?”

Ponyboy Curtis ;

QUALITY TIME QUALITY TIME QUALITY TIME!!!

words of affirmation too ig.

ponyboy definitely finds so much comfort in just sitting in silence with you.

he thinks it’s a nice break from the loud bumbling idiots in his house.

like you could be napping in his room and he’d come in if the gang got too loud and sit next to your sleeping body and just read.

he reads out loud to you. now, i don’t know which category that falls under but he does. like, a lot.

“ ‘To the soldiers and me it's all worth it. Risking life, dodging or taking bullets, and pulling triggers. It’s all worth it.’ “

“what?! that’s so sad pony!!”

“well, that’s what the book says y/n.”

he’s another one that finds comfort in knowing your safe. actually, most if not all of the gang feels like that.

you’re definitely his first relationship so i can see him being hesitant on physical touch, but he can and will write you a cute lil note with 0 shame.

“dear y/n, i just wanted to let you know that you looked really cute today—well, you look cute everyday. but you get what i mean, right? anyways, meet me at the dingo at 4PM. I’ll treat you this time.”

expect notes like that to just randomly fall out of your locker.

ponyboy quotes corny romance books in those notes. i just KNOW he does.

at the end of your note one day there will be a;

“ ‘so no, he didn’t give me flowers or candy. he gave me the moon and the stars. infinity.’ — reminded me of us.”

Sodapop Curtis ;

HE IS WHIPPED FOR YOU so it’s probably something like, lovesick-ish.

it’s definitely physical touch and words of affirmation to the maximum.

he is ALWAYS bragging about you to EVERYONE and ANYONE.

he talks about you to steve

“i think i’m gonna marry ‘em steve. i can see the wedding now!”

“you said that last tim-“

“SHUT UP!”

and even to customers!!

“they’re just so sweet! they’re the most beautiful person ever!”

“thats great kid. can you ring up my fucking chocolate bar now?”

he’s always smothering you in affection.

he just loves you so much he just needs to squeeze you with love!!

when he sees you just standing around or cooking he’ll come up from behind and hug you. he might pick you up n swing you around a little but ykw that’s what makes it special.

he ain’t afraid to sweet talk you bro.

“there you are! my pretty little lover, huh?”

“you’re so cute, you know that right?…right babe?”

you guys cuddle all the time it’s SICKENING.

you’re always in his arms and he has this grin on his face like he just won the goddamn lottery.

if you guys were to walk around town, he’d have his arm around your waist the whole time. like, the whole time.

he’s so in love it makes me sick just writing about it.

Darry Curtis ;

darry is a simple man dare i say.

he definitely shows love by spending as much time with you as he can.

he works two jobs so he doesn’t have all the time in the world to hang out with you, but when he does? he LIVES for it.

he’ll cook supper with you and teach you a new recipe his mom used to make, he’ll sit on his chair while reading the newspaper as you rant about your day, ANYTHING.

no matter what he’s doing, he will ALWAYS listen to you. it’s like a super power.

“that’s great baby.”

“you aren’t listening are you, darry?”

“yeah i am. you said you got tipped 10$ by one customer.”

you ain’t hear this from me but, sometimes when darrys in a real good mood he’ll give you gifts.

he has a jar separate just for you! it’s got money for dates, anniversary gifts, presents, all of it!

sometimes he’ll go take out some of that money and buy you something sweet<3

darry, also, isn’t one to tell the whole world on how he loves you. but, you do understand how he shows love.

even you cherish the minutes that pass by as you sit next to darry on the couch with your head on his shoulder and his arm around your shoulders, sitting in silence.

silence that speaks a thousand words when it comes to sir darry curtis.

Steve Randle ;

just like his best friend, he’s shouting to the world about you too. just, not as loud.

he respects his own privacy, so i can see his being physical touch and acts of service.

he’s a man of respect, obviously. he is one to throw his arm around you to show you off every once and awhile, but not much.

he’ll mostly hold your hand. when i say mostly, i mean all the time btw.

it’s all he does.

“steve, you can let go now. i’m home and you know you can’t come in!”

“..nah.”

he acts like he’s in debt to you for no fucking reason???

like you need something fixed around the house? DONE. grocery shopping needs to be done? ALREADY BOUGHT AND PUT AWAY.

he holds car doors open for you. he does, i can see it now. i’m just delulu

sometimes he acts annoyed with you when you ask him to do a simple task, while he’s doing it.

“steve, can you get me a water?”

*sighs and gets up*

“you have legs you can do it.”

he says that while he’s pouring the water into a glass cup with a lemon slice on the side with ice cubes already in the drink.

he loves you, he really does.

and he will say it, just not often.

he has too much pride for that….

no he doesnt.

he rants to sodapop about you while he fixes cars like a teenage girl talking about her crush.

Two-Bit Matthews ;

homie just wants to show you off to the world😭😭

he’s so proud of you he goes down the streets yelling that he’s officially dating you not literally…he isn’t that insane LMFAO

he gives off physical touch and..oddly enough quality time.

i feel like two-bit really likes the both of you at the curtis house sitting on the floor, your head on his lap while his hand sits on top of your head as you two watch whatever cartoon is on.

two-bit DEFINITELY wants to spend every waking moment with you.

“c’mon angel, let’s go get beer!”

“two, i don’t drink.”

“well, i do. so, lets go!!”

he will definitely walk everywhere with his arm draped around your shoulder.

instead of you being the trophy wife, HE’S the trophy wife fr.

he’s such a pretty princess and he expects to be treated like one!

he gives you all his time so it’s only faire you give him all of yours.

“what does math have that i don’t y/n?!”

“i need to pass this class, baby. you know i suck at math.”

“well, thats even more of a reason not to do it! why bust your ass over it?! come over here and let me LOVE YOU!! JEEZ.”

all two-bit does is brag about you..like, its all he does.

“yeah, sorry your hamster died. but did you know that i’m dating y/n?-“

author notes;

1.FIRST POST ON THIS ACCOUNT RAHHHH!!!

2.pulled this out of my ass LMFAO

3. hope it aint too bad tho💔💔

may 2nd, 2023. 11:57PM.

[piratefishmama]

Nest | Part 11

A Steddie A/B/O ficlet

“Doctor Owens?” The enquiry followed three firm knocks on the slightly ajar door to Owens’ office, his open door policy ensuring the door remained open whenever possible, only when he was in a meeting, or absent from the office, was it ever shut.

“Come in” Owens lifted his gaze from the papers atop his desk to look at the Beta who entered carrying a small manilla folder “Ah, Miss Buckley, what can I do for you?”

“You uh… you told me to inform you when Eddie dropped into the third stage of his heat? I… may have forgotten to do that initially and uhm… he dropped about four hours ago now?” In Robins defence, Steve had been lingering around the cafeteria instead of going home and well… she couldn’t just leave sad Steve on his own. He had those puppy eyes that made everything hurt an he was clearly trying to hide how distressed he was, it wasn’t working at all, but he wouldn’t leave so— “Steve’s been… distressed so I’ve just been a little—” distracted.

“Yes, yes of course he is, of course, he’s out of the room then?” Owens was already rising from his chair, this was… uncharted territory at Nest. A pair of scent mates separated from each other so late into the heat was… okay so anything regarding scent mates was kind of uncharted territory, so to have an observable pair?

Goldmine. It was like a goldmine, but the gold was knowledge, and he was an academic!

“Yep, he’s not left the facility though, he’s just—he’s just in the cafeteria.” It wasn’t too far away from Eddie’s room. And he was bumming everyone out.

It stank of musty, mouldy bread and nothing was bringing him out of it.

“So he could leave without negative effect, good. Good okay, that’s good, walk with me Miss Buckley.” Robin stepped out of the way to allow the elder beta to pass by, quickly closing the door behind them, she hurried to fall into step beside him.

“I wouldn’t say there’s been no negative effect, Steve is—well he’s a mess, and I dunno how Eddie’s doing if—if he’s doing well at all I mean, before the cameras turned off it looked like he was crying an—”

“I merely meant negative as there were no violent outbursts, that Steve was able to leave without being physically harmed, or without Eddie trying to harm himself. I understand there’ll be some distress from both sides of this. Do you have the measurements from the levels in the room?” She handed the file to him, allowing him to check over the enclosed documents with an experienced eye. “…These… are… from how long ago?”

“I got them about ten minutes ago.”

“And you say he’s been dropped for about four hours now?”

“Yes.”

“…Shit.” And the pace picked up into a jog, all the way to what looked, for all intents and purposes, like a closet. Robin had passed by that door, pretty much every single day since she’d started her job, it had a keycard slot on the door like most doors in the facility, but nothing else, a completely ordinary closet.

Except Owens had the keycard to it. “Uhm—” they stopped outside of it.

“Do me a favour Miss Buckley, go get Steve for me, okay? Bring him here and uh… use this on the door when you get back.” He handed her the keycard after using it to open the dark room, stepped inside, and closed the door behind him, leaving her alone in the hallway staring at a little blank plastic card. It had no room number on it, no identifying marks, just… a completely blank, white card.

Somehow she felt like she held the key to the universe. And while she was not prepared for that level of responsibility, Owens had given her a task, and the task involved getting Steve, she could get Steve.

Even if Steve had to be dragged from the cafeteria stinking of mouldy bread, releasing thee most pitiful whines as she dragged him by his hand down the hallway back to that room, going a little bit of a longer route around because the original route passed by Eddie’s room and that’d have just been a disaster.

He was a big alpha! She didn’t want to have to bodily shove him down the hallway away from the room!

That’d have been way too much like a cartoon where someone tried to push a big box or a boulder and just. Ran in place for a bit before flopping to the floor in exhaustion. She wasn’t built to force Alphas into doing things.

He was only allowing her to pull him because he was so sad.

He was breaking her heart, it sucked. But they made it with only limited staring from other staff members which was nice. “Robbie where are we?”

“Owens’ special closet I guess, I dunno he just told me to bring you here.” Keycard inserted, door unlocked, and the dark room had been lit up by a single overhead light, Owens, back facing them, sat in a chair at a desk with many monitors but only one on. “Doctor Owens? I’ve brought Steve” The Beta in charge switched the monitor off and turned to face them.

“Well, you weren’t kidding about the distress, eugh, come in the both of you, bit of a tight squeeze but please close the door behind you.” Robin and Owens weren’t exactly the biggest of people but Steve… Steve was pretty broad. He was the one taking up all the room. “Alright… after today, you both should forget this room exists, usually to enter this room, you need be a Beta, to have several degrees in medical sciences, a psych evaluation every two months, and consent to random spot checks on all your electronic devices both personal and professional done by an external government official. Really only I’m qualified to be in here. Now I only bring you both in… because Miss Buckley, you are closest to Steve, and so could probably get through to him in a crisis, and Steve… because this pertains to your scent mate. Normally, you… really shouldn’t be in here.”

Silence, complete silence, both beta and alpha staring at him in wide eyed confused silence. At least Steve’s sad alpha smell seemed to be dissipating with the distraction.

He continued, “Miss Buckley, the readings you gave me were… strange, usually at this point in an Omegas heat, in layman’s terms, the ‘sexual pheromones’ in that room should be in the red.” Four hours in? That room should be drenched in ‘I’m ready for a knot!!!!’ “It’s not, not even close. It reads like he’s having a nightmare. And these levels here, this… this shouldn’t be so low either, this is unprecidented” he pointed to another bar neither were close enough to read the label of.

“Sorry, sorry, what is this room?” Steve was too busy staring at the papers in Owens hand in complete bafflement as if staring longer would make it make sense. Robin was focused more on the monitors.

“This is a secondary monitoring station, none of the monitors are currently on because you are not qualified to see into those rooms. In cases such as Mr Munson’s, difficult cases, there’s a health and safety addition to the admission papers, it simply means a qualified person is allowed to observe in the third stage of a heat to ensure the omega remains safe during it. Mr Munson is aware that this is in place, and consented to it before his heat began.”

“And… an you’re the only one allowed in here?”

“I’m the only one with the keycard yes, I’d like that back now.” He held out his hand and motioned to give it back, which she did. “Thank you.”

“Why are we here?” Steve finally managed to speak “what’s… what’s this got to do with me?”

“Steve… Eddie isn’t using the heat aids.” Owens reached back behind him, and clicked that monitor back on, going against pretty much every single rule in the rulebook just to show one very soul crushing, grainy image.

Eddie Munson, wrapped up in a weighted blanket cocoon, pressed into the corner of the room away from his nest, head down, face buried in the fabric of the blanket, shaking like a leaf desperately holding on through a hurricane.

Steve was out of that room before either of them could stop him.

Part 13

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Jealous, jealous, jealous girl pt 2

Part 1-

Request- reader and hobie get into an argument bc of how she treats Gwen, they break up, reader starts to get even angrier at people even Pavitr (my poor baby), she finds out that Gwen started to stay at Hobie’s place and she hears him call Gwen “Gwendy” (he does that in the movie and I think it’s cute) so she just stops coming to the spider society HQ all together bc that was her final straw, somehow Hobie finds her and she tells him about how really felt deep down 😔

“Look, I’m just saying you can’t get mad everytime I even talk to her.” He said as calmly as he could.

“It’s not even just you talking to her anymore! You’re hanging out with her more than you are me! You’re fucking calling her nicknames!”

“It’s just cause we’re working together, there’s nothing else goin’ on, love-“

“Don’t call me that. I never said there was anything else going on. And that’s not all because you wanna know what else I saw? Her fucking clothes in your room! Her shoes, shirt, pants. You told me that she wasn’t staying anymore, you lied to me.”

“I couldn’t tell you, cause I knew you’d get angry.”

“You knew and you did it anyway?”

“I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry.“ he said, but he didn’t say it in a genuine way.

“We’re done. You keep lying to me, and I can’t do it anymore.” You said, tears at your eyes.

“Wh- Y/n- Y/n, don’t-“ he said as you started to mess with your watch, going straight to the HQ.

When you entered the portal he groaned and sighed, he laid on his bed and put his hands over his face.

“Fuck.” He knew he messed up.

——————————————————————

It seemed as if he moved on quicker than you. You came to work on the verge of tears everyday, and he was laughing and talking with Gwen everyday.

Pavitr helped you through everything, staying at your house sometimes, and you staying at his. His aunt loved you.

You were having lunch with him, you both sat in silence and eating.

“So, how you handling the whole…” he asked after a while of silence.

You sighed “Not good. He just keeps hanging out with her, and I heard that she was staying at his again!” You started to get pissed off every time you talked about it.

“Alright, alright, calm down. You guys needa talk it out.”

You thought for a moment.

“I guess.. I just… I dunno, it kinda hurts to see him, yknow?”

“I get it, just talk to him when you’re ready, because I want the gang back! I miss all of you guys, and it’s not like I don’t like hanging out with you.. it’s just… better with all of you. And Hobie told me some things, I think you guys can work it out”

“Some things? What things Pavitr..?” You said.

“Just some… non important things..”

“Pavitr.”

He looked the other way, struggling to meet your gaze.

You rolled your eyes, and stood up, throwing away the garbage.

“Wait- y/n, I’m sorry-“

You left him alone, and he sighed as he continued to eat.

As she walked out, you ran into Hobie and Gwen speaking.

You hid so they didn’t see you.

“Gwendy, next time ya come over, quit forgetting your toothbrush.”

“Gwendy..?” You whispered to yourself. You knew she was being called nicknames but it was different hearing it.

You rolled your eyes, as you quickly walked past them. Gwen stared at you, while Hobie just ignored you.

Hobie sighed when you left.

“You guys still not talking?”

“Nah. I was thinking of it… but I gotta wait until she’s not pisssed off.. which is rare.” He shrugged.

They walked into the lunchroom, seeing pavitr sit there and stare at his food.

“Yo, Pavitr.” Hobie said, excited and ready to get a happy welcome.

Pavitr just looked at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I told her that you said some things, I didn’t tell her exactly what, but she got all mad and left me! Fix your stuff man, she’s a great person, and I want her back.”

Hobie just sighed as Pavitr stood up and threw his trash away as well.

“Just talk to her.” Gwen shrugged when he looked at her.

“We got into an argument over you. That’s why it happened.”

She laughed “I’m flattered but I’m not worth breaking up over. You two were probably the cutest couple I’ve seen.”

He sighed “Yeah. You’re right.”

————————————————————-

With tears in your eyes you left the HQ, telling spider byte you’d be away for a while, her asking a lot of questions and then saying she’s got it there.

You didn’t tell Miguel or anyone else, just her.

You went to your apartment, and went straight to your bed. You didn’t even realize you were crying. When you did, you let it all out. Ugly crying felt good to do at the moment, so that’s what you did.

You cried for a good 15 to 20 minutes. Then you fell asleep.

You woke up, and pretty much did the same thing for a few days.

Jessica was constantly bothering you, telling you you had to be in.

“‘M still sick with the virus. Can’t.” You lied.

She rolled her eyes “You’re full of shit.”

“Yeah… cus of the virus.”

She sighed “Funny. Just… be in soon, I can’t keep covering for you.”

“I will.”

After a day or two, people at the HQ noticed. Pavitr, Gwen, and Hobie mostly noticed, Jessica, Miguel, And Charlotte, whom you were also close with, noticed.

(Charlotte is sun-spider)

No one bothered to come by except for Pavitr for a while.

He tried to convince you to come back, but also letting you know of everything happening.

“Alright, I gotta go, see you!” He said, opening a portal.

“Yeah, see you.”

A day after, instead of jessica it was Miguel himself that called through your watch.

You sighed “Yeah, yeah, I’ll come in-“

“You better. You know that spot guy we were looking at?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s a bigger issue than we thought. We’re looking for him right now. You have to come in today, no excuses.” He said.

“Okay. Yeah. I will in a little..”

He disappeared and you sighed, laying back in bed.

There was a knock at your front door, making you jump.

You groaned in annoyance and got up.

“What?” You opened the door, and then you saw it was hobie.

You tried to slam the door, but he stopped it with his foot.

“Hello to you too.” He mumbled.

“What do you want, Hobie?”

“I wanna talk.”

“Okay. Talk.”

“I’m sorry. I am. I miss you, a lot. And I just want to… fix things. If it’s possible, Y’Know? Im sorry for lying, and sorry for.. everything.”

You stared at him for a while, and this time he sounded genuine. He looks like he’s been… crying?

“I miss you too hobie. God, I fucking-“ you took in a sharp breath “I love you. I always have, since the moment I saw you, and I don’t think that’s ever gonna change. But it hurts. It fucking hurts. You went behind my back, and lied to me.”

He listened and stared.

“I don’t love Gwen. I love you. Like you said, always have, always will. And I’m sorry I lied.. but Gwen’s my friend, and you and her could really get along. If you’re asking me to stop being friends with her-“

“I’m not asking you to stop being friends with her. I’m asking you to not lie about it next time. Don’t lie about how she’s not staying at your place when she is.” You said, you feel like you were repeating yourself as you raised your voice.

“I won’t. If you give me another chance, I will never lie to you again. I screwed up, and honestly I’d do anything for you to forgive me. And maybe if we could go on a date.. yknow, redo the whole thing.

“I forgive you. And yeah.” You said after a while of silence.

He smiled ever so slightly. “Thank you. You coming back to HQ now?”

“Yeah. Miguel’s gonna blow my brains out if I don’t.”

[ewrl0]

You know what, he’s done now. I don’t care if it’s not completely picture accurate. I don’t want to work on him anymore and have him looming over me LOL

So here. Enjoy this Angel Crowley I have been working off and on for, for the last… I dunno, few months 😅😬

He took a lot longer because it turns out, crushing your hand at work does actually break your bones. I’ve been walking around with a broken wrist since October (that I’ve fractured THREE TIMES IN FOUR MONTHS). Took off the entire top of my radius along with a nice pencil width chunk of bone the first time. I honestly don’t know how they missed that other than the fact that my doctors are absolute shit here. The second time, I displaced another chunk of the radius. And was told that was a sprain 😐. The third time, I fractured the previous ones again and seem to have nicked another chunk of bone off farther down the radius, messed my hand up so now I have an abnormal bump in it, and by how it behaves, probably broke the scaphoid too. But again, I wouldn’t know because the last doctor I saw did not look at it, X-ray it, or anything before he walked into the room, said it was fine, and then when called out on lying because my cousin is a radiologist and when she saw my X-rays, she freaked out and told me my wrist didn’t look good at all, he immediately backtracked and demanded to see the X-rays on my phone, compared them to when I broke my LEFT wrist in 2022 and told me that just because it was cracked, it didn’t need a cast. So, I’m kinda done with doctors right now and will just be letting this thing continue to try and heal itself without any immobilization like it’s been doing SINCE FUCKING OCTOBER. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like a bitch or is annoying by the fact that i keep dropping everything / go through excruciating pain.

On top of that, my bronchitis is back (it never exactly left, but it’s definitely back full force at the moment), and I can’t take a breath or move without hacking my lungs up.

[thatoneslytherinnerd]

Pranks Gone Wrong (And the Consequences Thereof)

uhh cursing warning?

“Harry,” Sirius whispered from inside the closet. “Harry, c’mere. I’m trying to scare your Uncle Moony.”

Seven-year-old Harry Potter glanced around, then hurried to hide next to Sirius, trying desperately to muffle his giggles.

“Why aren’t we hiding at the back of the closet?” Harry whispered loudly.

“‘Cause we won’t know when he’s coming, the back of the closet is too far!” It was a walk-in closet, because Sirius had far too many clothes, according to Remus. To be fair, Remus’ clothes took up only a corner of it.

“Ohhhh.” Harry covered his mouth with both hands, watching the bedroom with wide eyes.

They waited.

And they waited.

And they waited.

“Is he coming?” Harry asked.

“I dunno,” Sirius muttered. He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Moony! Light of my life, my favorite husband, could you come help me with something?”

“Of course, love,” came a voice from behind them.

Harry screamed, and Sirius whirled around, his fist flying at the person who spoke. It made contact, and there was a crunch.

“Fuck!” Remus doubled over, clutching at his face. “Sirius!”

“Oh my God!” Sirius reached for his wand. “Episkey! Are you okay?”

“Fine, you absolute wanker.”

Sirius frowned. “Oi! You scared me!”

“You were trying to scare me!” Remus straightened up, wiping the blood off of his face. “And you dragged Harry into it!”

“I didn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to,” Sirius huffed. “Right, Harry?”

Harry looked up at Remus, eyes wide. “Are you okay, Uncle Moony?”

“I’m just fine, Prongslet. Your Uncle Padfoot-” this, of course, was punctuated with a glare- “-fixed it. It was an accident, I’m sure.” He fixed Sirius with a look that said ‘it had better have been an accident’.

“Of course it was an accident!” Sirius said, offended. “How dare-”

Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m messing with you. Harry, would you like a chocolate?”

“Yes!”

“Let’s go, then,” Remus said indulgently. He hooked his arm around Sirius’. “What’s this about me being the light of your life?”

“You know you are,” Sirius told him with a grin.

It wasn’t until hours later, after dinner, that the consequences of their actions really set in. Sirius was washing dishes, and Remus was drying, when Harry came in from playing with blocks in the living room.

“Uncle Moony?” he asked.

“Yes, Prongslet?”

“What’s a fuck?”

Sirius, of course, started laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Remus could do damage control on this one, he decided, as it was his fault.

“It’s, um. Not a nice word, so you can’t say it, alright? I only did because Uncle Padfoot accidentally hurt me.”

Harry blinked. “Oh! Okay. I won’t say it.”

“Good,” Remus said. “Go play, alright? It’s bedtime soon.”

“Awwww, I don’t wanna…” Harry complained, but he went anyway.

Sirius waited until Harry was out of earshot, then opened his mouth to speak, but Remus held up a hand.

“Not a bloody word.”

From the living room, they heard Harry say, “Fuck!”

Sirius laughed so hard he collapsed, just wheezing on the floor.

“Uncle Padfoot, Uncle Moony, I have a cut.”

Remus sighed. “C’mere, let me look at it.” As he was cleaning it, he said, “Harry, you know that word you asked about?”

“Fuck?” Harry asked innocently. Sirius clutched at his chest, his stomach cramping from how hard he was laughing.

“Yes, that. It’s an adult word, you can’t say it until you’re older.”

Harry frowned. “But why?”

“You don’t understand what it means yet, or when to use it without hurting anyone’s feelings.”

“Oh.” Harry sighed. “Okay. Uncle Padfoot, are you alright?”

“Fine,” Sirius wheezed. “I’m- I’m so fine.”

Harry shrugged. “Okay!” He ran off back to the living room with a “Thank you, Uncle Moony!” thrown over his shoulder.

Remus glared at Sirius. “It’s not funny.”

“It is,” Sirius got out. “Oh, God, it is.”

“Shut up. Help me finish the dishes.”

And, after a minute, Sirius did.

@l1ve-l4ugh-lov3craft said they wanted

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

i lost my y/n

masterlist

SPOILERS! based on season 15 episode 13 “destiny’s child” where au sam and dean get stuck in the wall then are used to trick chuck into thinking sam and dean are still in the bunker

summary : when another sam and dean pop into the bunker, you learn how that dean lost his version of you.

paring : dean winchester x wife!reader, au dean winchester x au!wife!reader

rating : R for language

word count : 1.8k

warnings : swearing, mentions of death, dead (au) reader, au dean “runs his fingers through your hair”, implied sex/nudity

author’s note : “i lost my mj” was definitely the inspiration for the title :,)

“i’m back!” you called out in a sing-song voice as you walked into the bunker then down the stairs. “de, they didn’t have fresh pie so i got a couple frozen ones that’ll take a while to cook but-”

you were cut off by the feeling of familiar lips on yours.

“hey, hey, hey!” dean shouted and pulled the man away from you. he looked about ready to punch his other self but you stopped him.

“i’m guessing the spell worked? i’m y/n, you must be dean, obviously,” you awkwardly smiled and reached out to shake his hand but he pulled you into a hug. “okay, that works too,” you laughed quietly.

“alright, alright, that’s enough of that,” your dean pulled you away from the hug. “what’s your deal? stop grabbing my wife, the fuck!?”

“i’m sorry, she- she looks just like my y/n, and i- i lost her, i lost my y/n,” both deans looked at you, you looked at other-world-dean with such compassion and love; you couldn’t imagine losing dean and you knew losing you must’ve hurt him immensely.

“oh, dean,” you whispered and hugged the man you just met, he hugged you back with everything in him. “i’m so sorry, hun.” you let him hold you for almost two minutes before he let go. “c’mon let’s sit down,” you nodded toward the table, still holding a grocery bag and a six pack.

“here i’ll take that,” your dean took the beer and followed you to the table. you put the bag of groceries away then came back and sat down next to your dean as the brothers told their other selves about the chuck situation.

other-world-dean couldn’t take his eyes off you, he was barely paying attention to anything else going on in the room.

“hey! other me!” your dean suddenly exclaimed, he snapped his fingers a couple times in attempt to grab his attention.

“sorry- sorry i- its just-”

“i know,” your dean stopped him. he knew losing you would kill him and he couldn’t think about that right now; he knew how much pain his other self was in but right now all that mattered was stopping chuck. “i know, i- losing y/n would be the death of me, and i’m sorry you lost her. but please, listen to what we have to say then once we leave you can talk with this y/n and get, i dunno, a bit of closure maybe?”

other dean nodded, “yeah, yeah okay; what were you saying?”

**

“come back to me, okay?” you whispered and your husband nodded. he bent down and kissed you before hugging you tightly and kissing the crown of your head.

“i will, i promise,” he mumbled into your hair. he kissed you again before he left with sam.

you turned to other dean, who was standing near the table and looked desperate to hold you. you wrapped your arms around his torso and he wrapped his around your shoulders.

“god, i miss you, y/n,” he whispered. “i miss you so fucking much.”

“it’s okay, dean, i’m here,” you replied, not really knowing what to say.

“hey, where’s the bathroom?” sam asked awkwardly.

“uh follow me,” you said. you let go of dean, keeping his hand clasped in yours, and led sam down the hall. “here. dean and i will be in the kitchen; it’s gonna be back down this hall on the left.”

sam nodded in thanks before you left with dean. in the kitchen, the pie was almost done and the beer was now cold after sitting in the fridge.

“wanna sit?” you asked him and motioned to the table. he just stared at you. you noticed tears welling in his eyes the longer you stared back. “here, sit.” you both sat down at the table and you took both his hands in yours. “talk to me like i’m her, what would you say?”

“i love you, y/n, i love you so much it physically hurts not having you with me,” he whispered and allowed the tears to fall. “i’m so sorry i didn’t save you, i- i should’ve been there, it’s my fault you- i should’ve saved you.”

“it wasn’t your fault, you have to know that,” you wiped his tears away. seeing dean like this broke your heart and silent tears escaped as you continued talking. “whatever happened i’m sure you did all you could, dean.”

“but you- you shouldn’t have been hunting, i begged you not to go into that fucking nest alone, and-” he rested his head on your chest as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“and i was stubborn enough to go in anyway,” you put the pieces of the story together. “dean, that is not on you. if i wanted to hunt i’d hunt, there’s nothing you could’ve done, please, you can’t blame yourself for that.”

“but why aren’t you hunting then? what did this other me say to you?”

“he asked me to stop and of course i said no, and,” you sighed, “i kept hunting anyway. i didn’t stop until one hunt went wrong and- and i almost got dean killed. he was so worried about me he got distracted and i- i knew i wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he got killed cause of me.”

“see that’s how i feel about you- or her!” dean sat up and looked at you. “i feel so guilty about not being fast enough to help you- her. and i know, i know it’s not really my fault but then this other part of me is saying ‘yes, yes it is dean, you- you killed her.’”

“i’m sorry,” you smiled sadly. “is there anything i can say or do to help you? i’m not your y/n, but i’m still y/n.”

“i just-” he held your face in his hands and stared at you. “i think i just wanna hold you, if that’s okay.”

“yeah, yes of course that’s okay, dean,” you brushed away more stray tears off his cheeks. “i’ll take the pie out of the oven, and we can just sit together on the couch, how does that sound?”

“sounds perfect, y/n,” dean smiled the first time since you’d seen him. the timer went off so you got up and took the pie out of the oven, placing it on the counter and fanning it lightly with your oven-mitt-covered hand.

sam came into the kitchen, “smells delicious, y/n!” he exclaimed.

“sorry, this sam doesn’t eat pie,” you told him. “there’s kale salad in the fridge though; tastes like ass in my opinion but it’s what sam eats.”

“kale salad?” sam grumbled in response.

“there’s beer too.” you handed him the bowl of salad and a cold beer. “dean n’ i are gonna be in the room down the hall, let me know if you need anything, kay?”

“okay,” sam looked at the salad with a concerned frowned.

“when the other sam and dean get back you can have some pie, how’s that sound?” you offered and sam gave you a nod in thanks. you kissed dean’s temple then motioned for him to follow you. “what?” you asked, he looked like a sad puppy.

“i’ve missed your forehead kisses, that’s all,” he whispered then swallowed thickly.

**

you and dean spent the next several hours laying down on the couch in the dean cave and watching back to the future. you knew dean wasn’t really watching, he was more focused on playing with your hair and running his fingers through it. you let him mess with it, you didn’t mind and knew he was hurting.

he kissed the top of your head several times throughout the movies, he took your hands in his and kissed them; he just held you and to him it had been so long since he held you. it had been years and he missed the feeling of your head on his chest, your legs tangled, as you watched movies.

when the boys got back they let you know it was good news and that jack might be able to take down chuck after all. before other world sam and dean left you let dean hug you tightly one last time. you gave him a couple of your phone numbers and told him if he ever wanted to talk to just give you a call and that maybe once chuck was gone they could visit from time to time. you also reminded him how much other you loved him and that she wanted him to be happy; meaning he could find someone else in brazil and be happy without her.

**

that night you laid with your husband in bed; resting comfortably atop his chest while he traced absentminded circles on your bare back.

“dean?”

“mhm?”

“if i get killed by some monster down the line,” you sat up on your elbow so you could look at him. “don’t blame yourself, okay?”

“y/n? are you okay?” he asked, concern growing in him. “why would you think you’re gonna get killed anytime soon?”

“i’m fine, i promise. it’s just, talking with other you i realized how much he was carrying on his shoulders about other-me’s death, and how much he was beating himself up about it.”

“how’d she die?” dean asked quietly.

“vampire, can you believe that? a fuckin’ vampire killed her! i mean, she had been up against gods and goddesses but she was killed by a run-of-the-mill vampire!”

“yea that’s- that doesn’t make sense.”

“i guess it was a nest she n’ other you were hunting and she got to it first. she went in without other you and by the time other you got there, other me was dead.”

“if that happened to you i would one hundred percent blame myself,” dean stated seriously.

“no that’s, ugh!” you sighed, putting your forehead on his chest in frustration. “if that happens,” you continued after bringing your head back up, “that’s not your fault! that would be my choice to go in alone! and granted, it’s not gonna happen because i don’t hunt anymore, but still!”

“but y/n-”

“no ‘buts’ dean winchester!” you interrupted. “you have to promise me if i get killed by something supernatural you will not blame yourself!”

“what about this butt?” he asked playfully, placing a hand on the sheet covering your lower half.

“yes, that butt’s all yours,” you smiled. “but seriously dean,” you reached your hand up and held his cheek. “please don’t blame yourself.”

“i can’t promise i won’t,” he whispered; he knew if something were to happen to you he’d blame the hell out of himself till the day he died.

“i know,” you replied. you sat up further and kissed his soft lips. “just know that i love you and if it does happen to be your fault i forgive you. no matter what.”

“i love you too,” he kissed you again before you laid back down on his chest.

you both went back to tracing absentminded shapes on the other’s skin as you drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep.

[lost-in-lamentation]

new feelings

a/n: i want to scratch behind his ears. he’d love it and i’m right about this. also what was supposed to be a short drabble ended in a mini fic. apologies.

content: nightbringer satan is a force to be reckoned with, until he meets you. featuring mammon being a good brother.

warnings: satan is (somewhat) mad.

slight angst, mostly fluff. hurt/comfort. satan x gen!reader (you/your).

word count: 1.5k.

after a long day of errands, you returned to the house of lamentation to drop off some food for the seven lords. even if they weren’t the brothers from your original timeline, you knew they caused just as much trouble as the ones you were already accustomed to living with. so, to no one’s surprise, you walked through the front door only to be greeted by a half destroyed hallway. a grimace blanketed your face as you took in your surroundings. you weren’t taken aback by how much damage was done, but rather by the sight of mammon rushing to get everything clean. “mammon,” you called out, placing the bags you were carrying down at your feet. “what happened?”

the second eldest snapped his head around at the sound of his name. you wondered if it was relief that flickered across his face when he made eye contact with you. “jeez, it’s just you. thought lucifer was home early.” he quickly returned to work, throwing pieces of what you assumed was a broken vase into a nearby trash can. “satan got mad, ended up nearly breaking the place.”

“is he okay?” you picked up your bags again, moving to drop them off in the doorway that led to the kitchen.

mammon shrugged to you from the other side of the hall. “dunno. told him that if he went to his room and calmed down, i wouldn’t tell lucifer what happened.”

the pieces clicked inside your head. “ah, that’s why you got worried when i came in.” mammon shot you a nod while he kept cleaning. “and that’s why you’re working so hard for once.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?!” his golden eyes flashed at the remark angrily. “tch, just don’t want lucifer yellin’ at him again. satan ends up worse than he was if lucifer starts with the lectures. now either help me or scram, you’re distracting me.”

you were glad to see that even in this timeline, mammon was still mammon. “i’m gonna go check on satan then.”

suddenly, mammon appeared directly in front of you. “oi, i don’t need ya making him more angry than he is.” you wondered what sort of thoughts the second born was having. “so… if you go, be careful. don’t say anything dumb, you hear me?!”

“i wouldn’t dare,” you replied with a smile. mammon said nothing in return, but instead gave you a huff before going to throw the broken vase away. quietly, you turned on your heel and started making your way over to the blonde's room. a part of you was worried; this satan hadn't completely warmed up to you the same way the one you knew had. of course, you were working on it, but with the way things were, satan proved to be an even harder challenge the second time around. when you arrived at his room, you debated whether to knock or to call for him through the door. satan ended up making the decision for you.

"lucifer, if that's you out there, i am going to throw every single one of my cursed books at you," satan shouted, his voice threatening.

talking through the door it is, you thought. “it’s just me,” you called, keeping your voice light. “can i come in?” you held your breath for a while, waiting and hoping for permission. satan never responded, but you heard the sound of his door unlocking. relieved, you exhaled softly, opening the door just enough to poke your head inside. “satan?” you internally cursed at the way his room was practically pitch black. his figure was barely visible, and your only guiding lights were his glinting green eyes. you shut the door behind you, locking it again so you didn’t risk the brothers (lucifer) walking in. with equal parts memory and guessing, you made your way across the room without knocking a stack of books over. “hi,” you whispered to him, crouching just a bit in front of him.

“hey,” satan whispered back after a few seconds of silence. you ignored the way his voice wavered at the end.

you waited to see if he would keep talking, but you only saw his irises disappear from sight as he closed his eyes. “can i sit next to you?”

the way his eyes fluttered open reminded you of the way you had seen black cats with green eyes in the dark. it was captivating, if you were going to be honest. distracted by how they looked, you almost missed the way his gaze darted between you and the spot next to him. you obliged happily and settled yourself next to him, making sure there was enough distance between the two of you before leaning back onto the bed frame that propped you up.

after some time, satan shifted in his position next to you. “why are you in here?” his voice was rough, almost akin to a snarl.

“i’m your attendant. i’m supposed to make sure everyone is doing okay.” you answered plainly, but satan wasn’t satisfied. you could hear the way his breath sharpened. “plus, you did agree to let me in.”

the avatar of wrath clicked his tongue, the end of his tail tapping the floor repeatedly, “you could have just asked from outside. you shouldn’t come in when i’m… like this.” satan kept his eyes trained on the ground, refusing to meet yours.

“like what, satan?”

satan stood up abruptly, forcing you to shuffle to the side and fall back onto your hands. “like this, MC,” he growled, his face hovering just in front of yours. “while i’m angry, while i barely have any control over what i’m doing or saying. why would you come here knowing that?!”

it took a moment for you to gain your bearings. his breaths were shallow, rapid, and he bared his teeth at you menacingly. slowly, you reached for your d.d.d., pulling it out of your pocket and tapping the screen awake. “you wanna see the cat i found while walking over here?”

the expression on satan’s face morphed into confusion when you pointedly ignored what he asked. “that… that’s not answering my question,” he started mumbling. the demon stared at you, his wrath slowly being replaced by hesitant curiosity. “you’re not afraid of the fact that i might rampage?”

smiling gently, you shook your head. you were still waiting for the question that the satan in your timeline would have asked. “i took some nice pictures of her. she was a really pretty blue-”

satan grabbed your hand in his, pushing it down so your phone wasn’t blocking his line of sight towards you. “you’re not afraid of me?”

there it is. you shook your head again, your free hand tugging on his to pull him down next to you. “of course not.” your hand opened to free his own, but satan only grasped onto you tighter when you tried to let go.

“why not?”

“why would i be?” you watched as the emotions danced through his eyes. hints of confusion, anger, and wonder all took their turns in his gaze. it- no, he was mesmerising. he always has been to you.

relenting, satan finally slumped into the spot next to you, his hand still holding yours tightly. his head hovered above your shoulder, and his other hand reached out, unsure of where his boundaries lay. “all of them have told you i’m dangerous. that i’m just the angry version of lucifer.” you felt him press into your side tentatively. his shaking breaths did well to betray the enraged expression he wore on his face.

“well, i think that you’re satan.” it was like your heart shattered when you heard the blonde choke up. you placed your d.d.d. on the floor, reaching up to guide his head to finally rest on your shoulder. satan flinched at the contact on his head, but soon relaxed into your touch when he felt your fingertips press into all the right spots. “you’re not so dangerous; they just don’t know how to deal with some things yet.”

satan pressed his face into you, his eyelashes tickling the side of your neck. you couldn’t help but remember why you had fallen for your own satan. “some things being me?” his question was accompanied by a light sniffle.

you pretended not to hear it. “yeah, but they’ll come around. i know they will.” you observed the way satan clenched and unclenched his fist; you remembered it as a nervous habit of his. “call it a gut feeling.” murmuring, you touched your cheek to the top of his head, testing the waters that were his emotions. when satan didn’t pull away, you fully rested your head on top of his, praying that he would accept you.

beside you, satan released a sigh that shuddered through his core. you felt him squeeze your hand one more time before he gave in to you, his entire body falling against yours. there were many things that he was feeling, but satan could only focus on the way you made him feel safe. it was new for him. the fourth born didn’t always deal well with new emotions, but maybe just this once, he’d welcome it with an open heart.

a/n: i love him i love him i lo

[frvnkcastles]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write something about reader who used to self harm and is slowly starting to do it again and Frank finding out.

SCAR-CROSSED LOVERS ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You relapse and when Frank finds out, he tries his best to comfort you.

Warnings: SELF-HARM, hurt/comfort

Word count: 1.3k

Author’s note: Anon, I sympathize with you <3 I had to restart my count 13 times this year so safe to say it hasn’t been an easy one. But I got this and so do you, I promise. I believe in you!! And guess what, so does Frank :) Thank you for sharing with me.

You had made it through 37 days. You had had yourself convinced that this time it was for real — this time, you wouldn’t have to start counting all over again and this time, you could make yourself proud. More importantly, you could make Frank proud. He was such a big part of why you had been able to stop, one of the main reasons why you had stayed so strong, and there were no words to describe the rush you felt when he smiled at you, kissed the top of your head and told you how amazed he was. How could you do anything to change that?

And yet, on the 38th day, you caved. It was so stupid, it wasn’t like anything even happened but you woke up with a dark cloud over you and it wouldn’t budge. Frank was out of town all week and you were left alone with your thoughts, the kind that spiraled and got out of hand with every passing moment. You felt hopeless and out of options and in a moment of weakness, you gave in to the urges.

You cried instantly. You had wrecked all your progress, lost Frank’s admiration for you, all for momentary relief that soon turned into shame and regret. And that, in a vicious cycle, got you addicted all over again. You felt like you deserved it now, like you needed to punish yourself, and that was why you did it again the next day. And the day after that. And again the next day. Sooner rather than later, the wounds that faded into light scars were back and you looked just as damaged as you felt.

When Frank finally came home from his trip, you were able to control yourself. You didn’t want to be caught in the act, and you didn’t want to be exposed, in the immense fear that he’d be entirely too disappointed or bluntly decide you were far too much trouble than he had signed up for.

”I missed ya, sweetheart”, he murmured into your neck, his arms tight around your shorter figure, and all you could think about was him turning on his heel and leaving you for good if only he knew.

”I missed you”, you whispered, but your voice was much too hollow for Frank to take the words and accept them as they were. He always knew when something was wrong. He just didn’t know what — but he’d get to the bottom of it. And that was exactly what you feared.

When he was all unpacked and you had eaten dinner together — although you had barely had an appetite — you were cuddled up on the couch, the TV on in front of you but neither of you really paying attention. He was wondering how to pick your secrets out of you, questioning if you were upset at him for being away so long, and while he was thinking his head through, you were frozen in the fear of being caught.

”Baby, I can hear you thinkin’. What is it, huh? You mad at me?” Frank was the first to speak up, and flinching at the gravelly sound of his voice, you shifted against his chest and looked up at him with wide eyes.

”What makes you think that?” you squeaked, and with a wry chuckle, Frank tilted his head at you and brushed his thumb across your chin.

”I dunno, figured that maybe you were gettin’ sick of me always being gone. I don’t like it either, y’know”, he murmured before leaning down to kiss your shoulder.

Sighing, you cast a look down at your shaky hands. Now you had made him feel bad. God, the guilt was unbearable. ”No, I’m not mad. I understand why you had to be away”, you spoke quietly, and betraying your facade, a tear rolled down your cheek and Frank reacted quickly, wiping it away with his fingertip.

”Then what is it? Ya can’t tell me everything’s fine. I ain’t stupid. What I am is worried, sweetheart”, he continued, rough voice full of affection and concern as he eyed you up and down.

You knew you were past the point of no return. There was no getting out of this. You couldn’t lie to him, either.

As if on cue, your phone screen lit up, and you glanced at the notification that mocked you. Your first day sober! The app you had downloaded when you had quit the first time reminded you now, and unable to speak the words out loud, you lifted up the phone and showed Frank. You could see the moment it registered in his head, his eyes darkening and his face dropping, and in an instant, you were crying and pulling away from him.

”I couldn’t stay strong. I tried, I swear, but it was too much. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to disappoint you”, you tried to explain, your trembling hands coming to cover your face as you inched to the other end of the couch, but as soon as you were off of him, Frank was trying to close the distance back up.

”Hey, hey, stop that. You haven’t disappointed me, sweetheart, what do you mean? C’mere”, he insisted, shushing you gently while widening his arms for you. You hesitated, not really feeling like you had earned it, but the selfish part of you that wanted to feel his comfort won, and you curled up into his chest while trying to level your breathing.

”You always cheered me on. You always made me feel so strong and so good about myself. And it still wasn’t enough”, you whispered shakily, sniffling while closing your eyes and breathing Frank in, as if worried he was going to slip away from you at any given moment.

”I’m sad, of course, I am. ’Cause I never want you to be hurtin’. But I never thought I’d be able to magically fix anythin’. It’s a battle and some days are tougher than others. All you can do is try again the next day. It doesn’t make you any less worthy or amazing if you stumble along the way”, Frank assured you, his arms holding you in place as he rested his head against yours.

”Like I told you last time, and the time before that, I ain’t goin’ anywhere. I’mma help you in any way you need me to”, he added, and with a quiet mix of a sob and a laugh, you nodded.

”How do I deserve you?” you wondered out loud, and with a chuckle, Frank kissed the top of your head.

”You never judge me for my scars, and I ain’t ever gonna judge you for yours. I promise you that, sweetheart”, he shrugged, as it if was the most casual thing. He then rolled up his sleeve and pointed at a new wound on his forearm. ”That one’s gonna leave a mark, for sure. Some asshole nicked me a few days ago. Not too bad, but it’ll be my millionth scar”, he explained before pulling down his collar and gesturing at an older scar at his collarbone. ”Got that one when I was still in the Marines. Hated it for a long time but now it’s a part of me, I guess.”

Nodding in understanding, you withdrew just enough so you could roll up your own sleeve and point at the scars there. ”That one was when I had a fight with my best friend and I was sure I was losing her forever. That one… shitty grade from a really important exam. That one is from when I couldn’t fit into my favorite dress anymore. I guess a lot of things get me down and I always go for the blade to cope”, you explained, and now, it was Frank’s turn to nod.

”I’preciate you sharin’ with me. I know it ain’t easy. But I’m always willin’ to listen, aight?” Frank insisted, gently taking your arm to pepper your wounded skin with the softest kisses.

”I love you”, you whispered sincerely, overwhelmed by your adoration for him, and cracking a smile, Frank leaned in to kiss your lips.

”I love you. Scars and all.”