#i dunno man. i think im doing good? and that might be the problem??

[not-actually-human]

maybe its bc its after 10pm but i feel weird

[lexicog]

400 points and i get samorsa and. lassi

OK New pinned post I am going to track & share my cleaning progress because I want to be healthy and not explode YAY

[ Updated 10/12 - 2:40 PM ]

[wizisbored]

🎁

🎁 i hear cowboy au is yours now lets see some progress bro

fuck you im making your cowboys have a playdate with my cowboys

It's already been a long, hard ride through the desert without sight of another soul - live or dead - by the time Beetlejuice spots a figure on horseback. Of course, the immediate suggestion is to rob him blind.

"Suppose he's got just as much concern for others as you do, and he shoots back?" Lydia asks, petting Emily's neck as they watch the man. They've managed to find themselves a vantage point where they can look down on him, but so long as they're not too loud and he doesn't randomly decide to look up they're out of sight.

"He's an idiot," Beetlejuice says. "He's on a draft horse, dressed in black, in a desert."

Lydia looks down at her own black vest. "That felt targeted."

"Dunno what you're talking about." He pauses to tug his bandanna up over his nose. "Anyway, you take the back and I'll go in front."

With that, he goes charging down towards the stranger, Lydia covering her own face and following a second behind. That huge red draft horse stops short as Beetlejuice cuts it off, and both it and the rider turn their heads as Lydia and Emily come in behind them. The horse's ears flick back and it paws at the ground, and the man sets a hand on its shoulder to steady it - the only hand he's got, Lydia realises with a slight pang of guilt.

"Do we have a problem here?" the man asks, his voice tight.

"We won't, if you don't cause any," Lydia says - she figures it should be her turn by now. The horse turns slightly towards her, looking almost like it's listening too. "It's just that my friend and I are a little low on cash, so if you could give us some help there we'll all be on our way."

The man responds calmly, hand still on his horse. "I don't think you want to do this."

"Don't get cocky with us," Beetlejuice growls. "It's a simple puzzle."

But there's something else growling as well. It takes Lydia a moment to realise that it's the horse. It's got its ears pinned back, forelegs splayed slightly, teeth bared and snarling like a dog.

"...The fuck's wrong with that horse?" Beetlejuice apparently can't help but ask.

"Your guess is as good as mine," the man says, and Lydia notices him slowly pulling one foot from the stirup. "But if you make her any angrier than you already have, I won't be able to stop her."

Emily shifts nervously, trying to back away. Lydia rubs his neck. The red horse turns further, almost sideways between her and Beetlejuice now, glaring from one to the other of them as the man shifts his weight, ready to jump off. Lydia wouldn't be too opposed to cutting their losses and getting the hell out of here at this point, but Beetlejuice is showing no sign of backing down. She's not going to be the one to chicken out first. After all, whatever that horse might be, she's got whatever Beetlejuice is on her side.

"We'll take those odds."

She reaches for the gun at her side. It's supposed to just be a threat. Mostly empty. But that threat is what makes everything explode.

There's a white flash, forcing Lydia to throw an arm up over her eyes as Emily stumbles backwards, shrieking in alarm. She uncovers her face just long enough to see the man on the ground beside his saddle, going for his gun, and then Emily's front legs lift of the ground and something takes advantage of that moment of unbalance to barrel into Lydia's side.

Her stomach flips, there's a brief pain in her leg from a boot caught in a stirup, and then for one awful moment she's falling. It's a short shot of fear, just enough time for an alarmed yelp before she's caught. The immediate assumption is that it's Beetlejuice, somehow, but this thing isn't cold.

A split-second later she's on her back in the dirt, a huge, snarling red dog on her chest.

"Hey, no, get off her!" someone yells. Not Beetlejuice, the stranger. And he sounds desperate. "That's just a kid, get off!"

The dog looks up. And it replies.

"Kid with a fancy accent. That loses her points."

Flooded as she already is with adrenaline, Lydia doesn't have the time to be shocked by the talking dog. She rides with a dead man, talking dogs that might have been horses a minute ago are not the priority here. Instead she focuses on finding an awkward angle she can twist her neck into so she can see the two men. And she finds it, just in time to witness Beetlejuice pointing his gun at the stranger, who responds with a hand in the air.

"Get that fucking dog," he spits, "off her."

"I'm trying! Kid, leave her alone!"

"And then what, he shoots you?!"

For a long moment, the dog and the demon glare at each other. Lydia tries to focus on breathing with two huge paws on her chest. And then the dog cocks her head. She looks from Beetlejuice to Lydia and back again, and in a wink of light it's not a dog crushing Lydia's ribcage, it's a redheaded girl about her age. She's got a knife in one hand, keeping the threat alive, but with the other she reaches down to tug Lydia's bandana down. A grubby mit grabs her by the chin, turning her head with suprising strength to meet the pinkish-brown eyes of the girl sat on her chest.

"Don't I know your face, fancy kid?"

"I get that a lot," Lydia wheezes back, seeing an oppurtunity to keep her distracted.

"You've been in the paper, haven't you?"

"Doubt I'm interesting enough for that."

"You-"

The distraction's served its purpose. The girl is grabbed roughly by the bandana, Beetlejuice lifting her clear off his partner and holding her off the ground at arm's length. Lydia scrambles to her feet, gasping for breath. Beetlejuice looks her up and down briefly, quickly taking stock of her condition, before turning his attention back to the squirming girl he's holding.

"Okay, what the fuck is this little gremlin?" he asks. "Some sorta-"

It's not a girl anymore. It's a coyote, and it's flying teeth-first into Beetlejuice's throat. Lydia goes for her gun. And knowing what she does about demons, she only feels a little bad about putting a bullet through the animal's shoulder and into Beetlejuice's. Both of them pause their fight to look at her.

"Fancy kid's got a gun?"

"Yeah, what the fuck, Lyds?"

He grabs the again distracted creature by the scruff and tosses her off him. The stranger immediately gathers her up, fussing over her until he looks up at Beetlejuice, and freezes. The demon flicks curiously at his newly-shredded neck meat.

"Huh. That's a new one."

Lydia looks from her demon to the stranger cradling a bloodied shapeshifter, and grips her gun a little tighter.

"You explain first."

[sunrisemill]

❀~Daisy chains~❀

Summary: You had always been a sucker for nostalgia, going back to places that have memories attached to them and embracing the changes you have gone through. But what happens when you get hit with the biggest nostalgia bomb of your life…your high school boyfriend.

(Warning: Suggestive but only a tiny bit.)

As I step through the door, the tiny bell rings out across the coffee shop. I’ve been going to this quaint shop since I was a kid and don't plan to stop.

The warm, comforting vibe it gives off has always drawn me inside on rainy days like this one.

My eyes scan across the almost empty shop when they land on a certain man. No way, It can't be him. I tell myself as I study the stranger, the brown tousled hair, the way his eyebrows furrow as he reads his book, It can't be him, I refuse to believe it.

“Oat milk latte for Matt.” The barista calls out, the man lifts his head and that's when I get a good look at the so-called stranger and all my suspicions are true…

It’s him.

~~~~

(5 years ago)

“You know Y/n…you should join me sometime. It might actually be fun.”

He flashes me a bright smile as he treads the water lightly. “I would but I forgot to pack a bathing suit.” I shrug as I lay flat on my stomach on the blanket we laid across the rocks on the water bed.

He smirks as he swims up to me, resting his arms on the rocks as he lifts himself up slightly, our faces inches apart. “Who said anything about a bathing suit?” He cocks his head to the side in a teasing manner as he watches my face flush a bright red.

I tried to think of something to reply with but I couldn’t come up with anything, not even a witty comment. I hate the little cocky look on his face when he sees my flustered state. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Have I left you speechless?”

His voice is below a whisper now as I feel his warm breath against my lips.

“M-Maybe…I dunno” I whisper back in a weak voice, my voice always gives out on me at the worst moments.

He chuckles, bringing a hand up to brush his thumb across my burning cheek. I feel a small shiver run down my back as the cold water that was once on his thumb is now smeared across my cheek.

“You’re so pretty.” I hear him whisper before I feel his soft lips press against mine.

I’ve never truly felt this way towards anyone else before. Of course, I’ve had boyfriends in the past but I can tell this is different.

Matt makes me feel safe, I feel as though nothing bad could happen to me when im with him. So when he kisses me, I kiss him back.

My hand quickly finds its way to the back of his head, running my fingers through his wet curls as I pull him closer. Suddenly, all of my problems disappear once I’m with him, he’s like a breath of fresh air compared to everyone else.

I can't help myself wonder if he also thinks of me that way but I always back out when I go to ask him, I guess im scared of finding out he doesn't think of me like that.

When he pulls away from the kiss, he looks up at me with a love-drunk smile and I’m quick to return it.

“Hey… I love you, like a hell of a lot.” He chuckles and I can’t seem to wipe the stupid grin off of my face. “I love you too, Matt. A hell of a lot.”

I lean down, pressing my forehead against his as I whisper. “Promise you won't leave me.” I watch as his eyelids flutter closed, a peaceful look across his face.

“Now why would I ever leave you? I love you too much.”

(A/n: Famous last words. WHATTT??? WHO SAID THAT?! I’m just kidding 🙏 I can’t help but feel so awkward when I write them kissing cause I feel like I’m interrupting smth 😭 I swear people who write smut have super powers cause I cannot do that shit. Anyways, this was low-key (high key) inspired by skinny dipping by Sabrina Carpenter cause she is MY GIRL. I love her so much it’s unbelievable. I hope you like this one cause she definitely stressed me the fuck out writing (my laptop decided to shut down in the middle of writing and wouldn’t turn on for 10 minutes) my laptop and I have a love hate relationship atm)

Tags: @guccifrog @junnniiieee07

[themouthwasher]

sighhh, this is my selfship sideblog, for jimmy, i selfship with him

i guess you can call me LP, kinda like lp records lol, thatll be my nickname here, he/it pronouns, 18 years of age

taken by my beloved @swansuke (and jimmy too of course)

pleaseeeee check hidden theres some clarifications in there cause i know an account like this needs clarifications (plus a bit more random info bout me)

PLEASE READ THIS!!!

yes i know hes a horrible piece of shit, i dont support his actions, i hate him, but my brain says fuck all to morals when it comes to stuff thats fictional and decided "hey this guy seems silly, im gonna fall in love now!" whenever i think of lovey dovey stuff i try to place it in a sort of au where he didnt do... all of that. but yeah, theres really no "good" way to do it is there? i get most people will see it as wrong no matter which way i try to spin it so just please block and move on if you have a problem with it

not particularly proud of the fact i selfship with him (if you couldnt tell by how ive been talking about it so far) which is reason i made this blog, im not gonna admit this to anyone else so i might as well make an account where i can love him anonymously, honestly i have quite a bit of internal turmoil over loving him but thats to be expected when its... him. expect random bouts of "i fucking hate this man he makes me so mad /srs" immediately followed by doting on him cause my brain hates me being happy

tldr; i dont support his actions and lowkey hate the fact that i selfship with him, but hey i didnt chose to fall in love (if i could chose this would be a daisuke blog just sayin)

a bit about me

uhmm ive got autism, adhd, and bpd, and i feel like that definitely all shows itself in the way i act, i guess i act pretty unstable?? im also a very paranoid person, over like, everything, idk what causes it but its basically the stereotype of what people think of when they think of paranoia, i dunno i think that pmuch sums up whats wrong with me

i draw sometimes, though i doubt ill post anything, and i like music a lot, its my spintrest (but ill try to keep music talk to a minimum lest anyone manages to figure out who i am by my music taste) other than that uhhh i guess i like horror and bugs, and i bet youll never be able to guess what my favorite game is

dont really have much of a dni? dont hate on me obviously, i wanna say proshippers dni but with the nature of this blog i feel like most of the people who would actually accept me are proshippers :/ id prefer if you guys didnt follow me if you were open about enjoying really problematic stuff but id be hypocritical to cuss you guys out, id say im an anti but at this point idc, if i have a problem with you ill just block and move on

speaking of not really having a dni, any doubles, if youre out there i guess, feel free to interact, although sometimes i do get really protective and jealous outta nowhere so do be warned

tag list!!! woohoo!!! this post is also tagged with all of em so you (or more likely i) can easily click on them and get scrolling

"💚 i can fix this" is my rambling tag, check that out to see me talk about how much i unreasonably love that man

"💚 tuplars copilot" is for fanart reblogs

"💚 kills 99.9%" is my misc reblogs tag, whether it be non fanart posts about jimmy or completely unrelated posts that i reblogged with him in mind

"💚 polle says" is my ask tag, just any posts where im answering any asks i get

"💚 lp draws" is any of my art that i post, couldnt think of anything creative for this one

"💚 chatterbox" is me either talking to other people or posting stuff that doesnt really have anything to do with jimmy (and the tags not a reference, how revolutionary!)

"💚 i hope this hurts" is things reblogged/posted with hatred or anguish in my heart, i mightve actually got seething mad at jimmy seeing/making those posts but bleh whatever its jimmy so on the account it goes

"💚 not safe for tuplar" i think im so funny, i wont be rebloging anything too extreme and ill try to keep post like these to a minimum, but thats just there if you wanna mute it i guess

"💚 favorite posts" is self explanatory

[sharkiiv]

mental update/trauma dump

You can totally scroll past this post i just need to get it out 😭

tw: mentions of suicide, self harm, drugs, medical hospitalization, etc.

ok so this is really weird to talk about actually and I don't really know how to talk about this. Guess i just needed to get it out. So I have been clean for about 10 months now!!! Holy shit I hadn't realized I just did the math 😭 anyways I missed Halloween last year because I was in the hospital since some of my stupid organs weren't working properly. But I was so upset about it. And when the nurses were checking my arm health, some of my sh scars were visible and she just said "arm health good" and I was like ayyyy that's what's up. But what I forgot was I still had some cuts on my legs that I had totally forgotten about. She didn't check them thank God because my parents didn't know about them. When I got home that night I had to take a shower cuz yucky and my arms weren't working so I had my mom help but I had to be so careful to not let her see the cuts. Anyways the last day I was in the hospital was the last day I had talked to my therapist since she was leaving company she worked for to be independent. She said she was going to reschedule with me later. My mom had sent so many emails only to get "no reply". My therapist recently started seeing my sister instead because of some issues. When I asked her about it she said that she had been trying to contact me for months. My mom lied (surprise surprise).

But schools been really tough recently and I'm starting to have suicidal thoughts and self harm thoughts again and I don't know where to go since I don't have a therapist anymore. My mom was going through my stuff to clean up and I didn't really care cuz yk wtv. But she found some pills that I had in one of my jewelry boxes in case I needed to yk... but the thing was I had totally forgotten about them. She just goes "oh! I'll take those. I want them." I was like okay? I don't want them. I forgot they were there anyways. But now I'm kinda like damn. I know that I need to stay strong bc I'm still trying to deal with my ed and friend problems but I just don't know If I can anymore. It's getting really hard. I bought some sensory necklaces off of Amazon to help with my sensory and those are helping but it's just not enough. I just feel so awful all the time. It might be depression? I dunno. I'm trying not to distance myself but it's so easy to just doom scroll all day and do nothing. Getting up early for school when I can't even think is so rough. I didn't even plan on living this long so i have no idea what the hell im doing. I want to talk to someone but I also know that I can ramble and rant for hours and I don't want to do that to my friends. It's hard enough for them already and that would just be cruel of me. My friends can't fix my problems. I just don't know what to do. I see my friends doing better, yk the ones that have really had it rough and i feel great for them. But I also see some friends doing worse and I'm just like, yeah. I get you. I dunno I might be yapping but my stupid brain thinks that sometimes my friends don't really like me. Like if I were to kill myself that I'd turn into one of those jokes like " you should commit [my name]!" Or "i hope you end up like [my name]" because that would fucking suck. Kids are so mean.

I dunno what to do man. I might delete this or smt.

[thealmightyemprex]

Universal Month :Jaws 2

So this is my first official review of Universal month ,where I look at one of my favorite film studios ,Universal

Now where to start with universal,Well I am already working on a big project for the Universal Monsters so cant do that yet .I was gonna look at the silent classic Man Who Laughs ,but while thats still on the table ,Im gonna wait to do it

Of course there is a property very unimous with Universal and Summer ,the big blockbuster hit JAWS .....But I've talked about Jaws already ......But I havent talked about the sequels

In this 1978 film Police Chief Brody (Roy Schieder ) fears another shark is attacking Amity Island ,and things get tense when his own sons get involved in the danger

So before I go into the film I might as well share my thoughts on the franchise....A franchise that kind of is surprising it is one .The first film I actually recently revisited on the big screen and it is a perfect thriller ,great characters ,great suspense ,good scares ,and a nice mix of horror and adventure .While I had never seen Jaws 2 till today ,I had seen Jaws 3D which to my memory is shlocky fun and Jaws the Revenge which is...Bad....Just bad .I also wanna mention I rode the Jaws Ride at Universal Studios Florida THREE times,and I miss that ride cause it was cool

As for my thoughts on this film...There are things that work,,,,,,,But its more interested in being a greatest hits album

OK so sequels are a tricky thing to do .Basically a sequel is supposed to be like"Hey gang you like these characters and this world,are you curious what happens next " ......But often the reason for a sequel is less "We have a story to tell" as much as "Hey this made money ,I want more money ",and honestly its hard to think of a movie that lends itself least to a sequel then JAWS cause its pretty one and done ,its a very simple story :Big fish is eating people,three guys go to stop it ,the stop it .Thats it,and having ANORTHER shark attack with these same characters in this same location feels stale.Also for a seque to feel necesarry ,t must care about what happens to the character after the story is done.......And while I like Martin Brody,I just dont like him like that .To use another sequel others find unnecesary but I like ,Psycho II,where I totally care about what happens to Norman Bates after the first film and see potential in taking him in new directions.MArtin Brody however to me is a one and done character ,he beat the shark ,thats it

IRonically while I dont think Brodycoming back is that necesarry ......He is the best peart of the film,Roy Scheider is a damn great actor so he sells his paranois ,love for his family and the best scne in the movie is him after he is fired realizing he hsa no clue what to do next .Honestly the film does hit on a neat idea for a sequel ,as it couldve explored Brody's PTSD .He is clearly traumatised,and that is something I do wonder about after thrillers and monster movies,once the monster is slain how do you pick up the pieces after that .....But the trick is to do that well,the shark shouldve either all just be in Brodys head (Which as cool as the Shark just being a metaphor for Brody's trauma would be,theyd never do ,you need a real threat or else audiences will feel ripped off ) or make it ambiguious at first and reveal the Shark in the third act ......Which leads me to the movies big problem

So in the original film the Shark is not seen a lot,but it is built up like crazy,you FEEL its presence and when it does show up it is super scary ...Here it shows up too much ,it shows up early with little fanfare and frankly it doesnt look as good to me .It lacks presance and menace.Yeah it eats a helicopter and I think giving it burn scars to distinguish it from the first shark is neat ,but I dunno I didnt find this Shark that scary.Also the final fight with the Shark was a bit of a "Thats it ? " for me (Though I like how they kill it )

Cast is good,but I have nothing to say,as I really dont care for anyone except for Martin and Ellen.We have some teens in trouble who I didnt want them to get eaten ,but stil cant remember their names .The douchey Mayor is back,and while I love seeing Muarry Hamilton ,I struggle to believe this guy didnt learn his lesson after the first film...Then again,politician

Also I loathe South Park and the whole Member Berries thing that was popular for a few things.Call backs and nostalgia for a previous film arent bad things.....But maannnnn I was getting annoyed by the refrences to the first film"Oh remember the Orca ? Remember Hooper? Well they arent in this movie but we will bring them up"

I dunno.....Its not BAD ,its well made,and like I said I like seeing Schieder again but,,,,OK maybe this will make sense.This feels like a movie MADE to be shown on TV .Like your flipping channels ,spot Jaws 2,and are like"Eh Id rather watch the first one ,but this'll do " and just mindlessly watch it.

My final thoughtsa re it is a mediocre OK movie ,with a good performance.....That is overshadowed by a much better movie.I guess watch if your curious,but honestly just watch the first film

@ariel-seagull-wings @countesspetofi @piterelizabethdevries @the-blue-fairie @@themousefromfantasyland @princesssarisa @barbossas-wench @professorlehnsherr-almashy @amalthea9

[horseforeplay]

hi! what do you make of ai art? im conflicted cause i see how its great for disabled people in many ways, but then i look back at the work people put into becoming artists and mastering the craft and feel many things lol i wish i could look at it similarly like i look at producers for example, where you have a vision and tools and you know how to use it well so you dont need the musical training background to be creative, but i cant help but feel like its more complicated with visual art? that theres a whole other side besides having a vision and good understanding of a shortcut tool. im very very torn and also sorry for all that on your succession blog but knowing youre a fantastic artist whos recently been dealing with this sort of impossibility to make art i wonder if you have some insight in this area.

sending love!

i appreciate u wanting to know my opinion on a Hot Topic such as this! i dunno man i have an aversion to any definition of art of any kind that requires effort or skill as essential features that make the art “real”. i think a lot of what is happening with AI discourse is that people are appropriately appalled by the way capitalism mangles creative output and even what kind of relationships artists can have with their work and with the rest of the world. i do not have a problem with a machine that digests and reconfigures information — a machine is just a machine. if one copied the way i make texture with colored pencil and produced an approximation of a new original work by me, i would be fascinated by what reactions i might have to it. would i feel threatened by it? would i be flattered? what might it open up for me, to see my work broken into a particular machine’s data? this is just a dream, though. i see many artists understandably frightened by what the exploiter class may choose to do with their new toys (and what they are already doing to us with them). it just sucks to see that very plain class antagonism passed over with arguments about the “purity” of human-made art, how it is somehow apparent to any observer when a work is truly endowed with a “soul” (if these arguments sound eerily like fascist aesthetic principles, it’s because they are fascistic).

and then to see people cheering for their own doom with this thing of mr. game of thrones & co suing chatGPT, complete with condescending explanations of how it’s not going to hurt fanfic writers because the problem these multimillionaires have is actually with people monetizing their work, and the true humble Fan would ne’er ask a but penny. do people really not see how this is making the divide between the “artist” and the “common person” greater? it is so goddamn expensive to survive right now, and the wealthy are using fear of technology as a tool to prevent you from making money, and yes, making art at all. only those with enough capital to protect their intellectual property with the force of the law are allowed to express themselves through art. yes, i think it should be well within your rights to bind and sell (for money, yes, money) your game of thrones fanfiction. so many of us are living in poverty right now, bombarded by entertainment but prevented from ever chewing it up or spitting it out. ed roth’s rat fink character had it right. fuck mickey mouse. like, we’re actually back to saying “fuck mickey mouse” being really cool. put him in a blender full of data, have it put him into a beach scene with BBW anime versions of lara croft and princess peach. intellectual property is a historically recent phenomenon. it is a tool to make the rich richer and get you well and squarely fucked. theoretically, yeah, it sounds good to have your work and livelihood honored and protected, but just like they’re trying to replace artists and actors and writers with AI, every single tool becomes a weapon in the hands of the rich. the hell people are worried they need more punishing copyright law to fix is already here. the woman who designed care bears & strawberry shortcake never saw a penny from it. AI art is only a threat in the hands of the corporations that happily do these things in the first place.

anyways. lol. i’m not very technologically minded in my own art practice — i’m not naturally drawn to new technology as a part of my work, and find many of the results i’ve seen from current AI art tech to be kind of aesthetically unpleasant. artwork contains unpleasantness, though. i’m not really interested in arguments over what artwork “should” contain, only what it does. i think the best AI art i’ve seen (ie: the stuff i’ve enjoyed the most) has been from alan resnick:

it is so terrifically disquieting. it leans into what makes AI-generated BBW lara croft kind of difficult to actually jack off to. the overlapping lines of bodies, the nonsense text. but then, if this work has merit, is that because alan resnick is uniquely special, thus proving the point that the technology is only valid in the hands of a “real artist”? can mr. resnick be said to be the “artist” of these images at all, because he trained a program to his own style and input interesting ides? does he deserve lots of money for his work creating iconic adult swim shorts like this house has people in it? well sure

or would this art only have value if somebody put a tremendous amount of labor into it? you know. my mother used to tell me, “hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work”. she said she should nail the phrase to my forehead, like martin luther at the church doors. having very recently become disabled & chronically ill, i don’t believe it anymore. i believe we should be able to use technology to make ourselves more free. we should not be so financially insecure that we are threatened by anyone expressing themselves with something we made. the ultra-wealthy are threatened by infringement because they need everybody else to stay poor, and the poor are threatened because they do not want to be poor any longer. it’s got nothing to do with strange scrambled pictures. if i could take pictures of every work of art i’ve ever loved and put it into a machine that mixes it up and turns it into a monster, i would do it just for a bittersweet laugh at it.

[beepsparks]

Day something of being full of joy and whimsy and creativity until THE EMBARRASSMENT hits me like a truck

(uh idk this is a little ventish?? Is that the right word?? It’s just me ranting about not wanting to come off as weird but I do kinda want someone to confirm to me I’m not weird 😭)

So like lately I’ve really only had interp ideas for the Lie Swatter host (already done), Dandelion (actively in the works), Master Mentalist (also actively in the works) and sort of Toby (but I need good ideas) and the thing is that they’re all hosts of games I don’t really care for but I think I know WHY I am keen on making interps of them and I am like 90% sure it’s because I really like Phil Ridarelli’s voicework so I’m really inspired to make interps for hosts he voices but also I FEEL EMBARRASSED BECAUSE OF IT

This is probably not the first time I’ve felt like I was weird or embarrassed because I find someone who helps make something I like cool and inspiring but it KEEPS HAPPENING and it’s starting to annoy me the amount of times I’ll just be appreciating a character or something and then I’ll feel weird because part of the reason is literally just because they’re voiced/created/written by someone I find inspiration for art in (or I just think they’re cool)

idk WHY it’s even a problem anymore because im half-sure this is literally a normal thing, like you see ALL THE TIME people watch movies just because an actor they like is in it, tbh I think I might feel weird or embarrassed because people I find inspiring aren’t like. Celebrities and shit and instead just people that help work on things I like/make music I like, so they aren’t well known to people. I dunno if even THATS the reason

Also I think a major thing playing into me feeling embarrassed or like I’m weird with this specifically is the fact Schmitty makes me sleepy, like the second I remember he’s voiced by an actual person I don’t know irl I feel insanely embarrassed and weird even if it’s Schmitty’s CHARACTER that probably makes me comforted and sleepy. Wah

Oh and normally people make interps for hosts they LIKE because of their actual character, instead I’m currently making a Dandelion interp fully aware it’s like 90% because I think his voice actor is cool and somehow inspires me to make art, like. I don’t care for Dandelion’s actual character much if not at all and SAME GOES FOR TOBY (The Lie Swatter host I made bc I thought the idea of an anthropomorphic fly was cool so he doesn’t count)

idk man. I’m probably just way too paranoid of being seen as a “weird fan” of a real person when really all I’m doing is just making art and designs for characters Phil voices because I’m inspired to do so (and on occasion looking at clips of shows he appears in because I guess I just think he’s cool or something WAH idk man. I like his work, he’s so talented and that’s cool but I don’t even think I can say any praise without feeling embarrassed and weird and I wanna STOP feeling embarrassed and like I’m weird, like I literally just felt embarrassed NOW typing that. Good lord. Can someone just confirm for me or something if I’m weird or not?? If I am being a “weird fan” of some kind you can tell me, be honest, please. Anyway I’m gonna watch a movie I find comforting right now to get my mind off this but yeah it’s been bugging me for awhile and I kinda wanna say it so I can get others opinions, idk.)

[venticuliao]

either way, so far i think the conflict betwevn them (or at least one of them anyway) is rooted in how they view change in society

alhaitham seems to either think (or used to think? maybe the archon quest changed his mind? dunno)

that the problems that society faces cant be solved by tackling individual issues (helping one person is useless since it wont fix the source of the problem that many others suffer from)

that society is meant to work that way because it's how it shaped itself, the course of how it renews or reinvents itself cannot be stopped and trying to resist is futile (for example some jobs become useless for a reason, theres no need to preserve them)

im more inclined for option 1

in one of the board messages kaveh and haitham discuss about a group of men whose experience in their field of work has been deemed obsolete due to the akasha, and kaveh offers to put them in contact with someone willing to hire them (i think its implied he gave up money). this didnt solve the core issue, and it only serves as a small gesture towards those workers especifically.

alhaitham argues kaveh does this to feel good about himself. which is funny? he thinks small gestures of kindness are frivolous since they dont solve the actual imbalance of power that produces those problems, but he also says he participated in the conspiracy to rescue nahida for selfish motives (which one is it haitham, are u a selfless man or not)

kaveh, on the other hand, is willing to give up his own income/money if it helps someone else.

it might not solve the real problem, but thats the kind of attitude that can build a better society, closer to what the grand bazaar has created for their little comunity, one based on human connection and empathy.

nahida does say that he has an almost perfect grasp of what it means to be a nation of wisdom. i think it might have to do with that.

[ccstiles]

~Ride the Tides scene 9~

•consider following if you like my work!•

The crew decided to have a few drinks at a tavern in the town, most of them getting too drunk for them to even walk. Because of this, most of the crew decided to rent some rooms in the Big Innit Hotel instead of heading back to their ship. The problem was that there just wasn't enough rooms, so being the captain and co-captain, Dream and Sapnap decided to head back to the ship and sleep there. Dream had way too many drinks and could barely speak, while Sapnap was just barely tipsy. As Sapnap was guiding the drunk captain, a cartain shop caught his veiw.

"hey, i think thats the place Karl an Quackity work at!" Sapnap stumbled and pointed out the shop to his drunken partner.

"aweee! Sappy's boyfrienssss, work!" Dream slured out "whatcha think they'll let us crash?"

"dunno, Q wouldn't be too fond of it" Sapnap tried to direct the two to the ship, but Dream got out of his hold and stumbled to the shop door. "Dream! What are you doing?!" Sapnap cried as he tried to grab the stumbling man.

"wanna see your boyfriens!" Dream winned as he all but smacked his body into the door.

"Dream! They might be sleeping! Stop acting like a child" Sapnap hissed as he pulled the man from the shop door.

Before he could make his getaway, the door of the shop opened to a surprisingly awake looking Karl.

"Sapnap? What are you doing here this late? Is something wrong?" Karl questioned the male in front of him.

"im so sorry Karl, i pointed out your shop to Dream and he wanted to meet you and Quackity" Sapnap explained.

"oooo! You're Sappy's boyfrienddd, you're cuteeee hehehe" Dream almost fell down if not for Sapnap's hold on him.

"oh no, is he drunk?" Karl said, walking closer to the pair.

"very." Sapnap explained, "our crew went to a nearby tavern to drink, but the nearby inn didn't have enough room for all of us, so me and Dream are heading back to the ship."

"oh man, the docks are so far, do you think you'll be able to make it?" Karl questioned.

"dunno. This little shit can be a pain when drunk" Sapnap grumbled, reffering to the barely standing man in his arms.

"rudeeeeee" Dream chimed in, falling further down in Sapnaps hold.

"you two can come crash here if you'd like" Karl offered the suffering man in front of him.

"it wouldn't be too much for you and Quackity?" Sapnap asked, not wanting to burden them.

"its perfectly fine! We have an extra room, Q can deal with it" Karl waved off the man's worries.

"thank you so much Karl! You're a life saver" Sapnap sighed, gathering Dream in his arms and hauling him into the shop.

Karl lead the two men through the flower-covered shop and down a short flight of stairs to the small apartment down below.

"this'll be your room, me and Q are just down the hall, and the bathroom is right there" Karl pointed out all of the mentioned rooms.

"thank you again Karl, this means a lot" Sapnap said as he guided Dream over to the bed.

"of course!" Karl smiled at the man, "ill let you two sleep then, good night!"

Karl was about to exit the room before his arm was tugged back. Before he knew it, he was pressed to Sapnaps chest, their faces inches away from each other.

"aren't you gonna give me a good night kiss?" Sapnap pouted.

Karl giggled before leaning down to the slightly shorter male, bringing him in for a quick but sweet kiss.

Once they parted, Karl gave Sapnap a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

[freakish-hazzard]

Hey like. I know equality and trying to be morally correct is kinda at least a portion of the tumblr user's thing but. You do gotta understand that if you're trying to be better than literally any person that could even remotely qualify as 'morally incorrect' you gotta stop fuckin policing people when they do something.

See, the fun thing about policing people is that it pigeonholes them into that behavior because, shocker, the views and opinions of others around someone can affect them in so many fuckin ways, especially if you have a platform and start talking about this person to your audience without the proper precautions.

This doesn't mean you cant criticize actions of people you don't agree with, or that you have to accept every single person you meet. you can talk with someone, and kindly disagree with something they do, but it's also important to learn why they do it, as it can help us stay close and hoo boy are shared bonds between people a powerful thing. Literally its probably the most important thing to try and gain, a good number of good reliable connections can form a safety net and help you when you struggle.

But even if you get along, there will always be some arguments and disagreements, but sticking through those rough patches will only strengthen already unbreakable frienships.

Listen anyone can be your friend i promise, even people you usually aren't interested in talking to. Just give it time and understand when you may need to approach things differently, but also make sure to understand your limits. There are some people that may not have your best interest in mind.

This post has drifted from talking about policing to friendship but anyway. I get there are a lot of people that often criticize media that makes friendship into a power, or it often saves the day to just talk. And i get it, it doesn't always work at every turn and sometimes you don't have time or resources to work it out, or the other person wont listen. Sometimes the problem is bigger than just people (cough cough america cough cough). But also 1/ shut the fuck i think we need MORE shows about peace and love on planet earth and 2 you'd be surprised just how well being neutral and understanding of someone as they are can help you form a bond with someone and just how powerful that bond can be. Like i dunno man if you really hate the show about being nice and how cool it can be you might actually wanna consider trying to get some real kind friends who treat you well and are understanding. Or also stop using said criticism as an excuse to mask your racist/homophobic/transphobic/xenophobic/alltheotherphobias and actually just say that you hate the show because it has a group of people you don't like portrayed well. Like the least you could do is not twist the truth so hard it makes your interpretation of the media look like a kaleidoscope of shit, im sure so many people would rather you be honest and admit you just fuckin hate people than to hear theres another asshole masking and lying about their intentions of being a dick.

[sorikkung]

im not ok. good fuckign god. lord. jesus.

where do i eve.n. start w alla that. like i read the thing on my phone during lunch so i didnt livereact but good god i am so surprised i didnt burn my food but i sure did struggle to eat it bc I AM SO SAD. holy fuck. i just. need a moment. fr. literally fucking shaking. tho that might be the meds- SDFKHJSKDJFHKSFD

yk from the start i did wonder why you decided to write san so calm and stoic. it didnt seem very reminiscent of the san he's supposed to be based off of, but i was curious to see where you went with it - especially since you said early on that he was your favourite character at the time. n now i get it. i figured he'd have some sort of tragic past but they all do, but now im realising he just... still is so soft hearted, sweet, and sensitive, but he just had to bury all that behind a stoic exterior to keep himself safe. idk why this didnt click earlier but smth abt him telling woo he needs all of him just fucking broke me i was like MY SAN.... [SOBS] but yeah i was very much wondering why he started off so calm and neutral and then when they finally talked about it ohhhh my fucking goddddd oh my gODddDDDd hjgnhGNHNNNNN

also when he was like to woo are you srsly being jealous rn i was like OOOOP.... i wish we got mc's reactions or thoughts on that before the drasilisks showed up, but highkey that drasilisk scene was SOOOOO tense i was on the edge of my seat the entire time holy shit. you've gotten really good at writing action scenes over the course of this series. as soon as they finished killing all the babies i was like that sounded so fucking badass but also that was too easy. wheres mama bear. oooop.... there she is. highkey i love snakes so the thought of a hundreds foot long fire breathing snake had me like FRIEND!!! FRIEND!!! BEFRIEND IT!!! SKJDFHKAKFJH but obv that was wishful thinking but a man can dream. i wonder if that thing even Is killable. like if its fireproof and cant be pierced by swords what Can kill it. definitely would be able to take on a human army w no problem by the looks of it. im getting way carried away with the hypotheticals can you tell i was a how to train your dragon kid? anyway

He detests you, and yet here you are, pressed against his chest with his fingers settled on your lips. He wants you dead, and yet it appears a part of him will not let it happen so easily. Even now, Woo is not as cruel as he believes himself to be, and you feel almost sorry for him.

you already fucking KNOWWWWWW i lost my mind over this scene YOU KNEW WHAT THIS WOULD DO TO THE WOO ENJOYERS... YOU KNEW.... GOD IM SO FUCKING... WEAK FOR THAT, FOR A CHARACTER WHO CONSIDERS THEMSELF TO BE CRUEL AND TO ACTUALLY BE ACT ON THAT AT TIMES, BUT AT OTHERS, JUST CAVES TO THE KINDER NATURE THEY SUPPRESS... GAAARHGHGH WOOFWOOFWOOFBARKBARKBARKMEOW. I DUNNO. IM NOT OK.

Woo’s eyes fall shut and his grip on your arm tightens, as if he needs something to hold onto. For that something to be you, this really may be the end.

FOR THAT SOMETHING TO BE YOU, THIS REALLY MAY BE THE END SOMEONE FUCKING HOLD ME I CANNOT DOOOO THIS!!! AND THE SORRY AND THE WAY HE DOESNT DENY IT AND OUUUGHOGHUHHGH FUUUUUCK MEEEEE

ok at this point i fully thought san and hwa jumped off the edge w a plan in mind like they saw the water at the bottom or sumn and thats why woo pulled mc after them but youre telling me NONE OF THEM KNEW. THEY JUST FLUNG THEMSELVES OFF THE EDGE AND FOR WHY. IN HOPES THE DRASILISK WOULD FOLLOW THEM??? WHAT IF IT DIDNT. WHAT IF IT JUST TURNED AROUND AND ATE WOO N MC INSTEAD. WHAT IF. THERES SO MANY WHAT IFS. what did woo think he could do by following after them. like ik san talked abt it after but how would jumping over after him have saved him in what way like. damn these fuckers rly heard "if your loved ones jumped off a cliff, would you?" and went ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY with zero hesitation SKDFJHSKJDFHKJSDF

“We’re killing each other, Woo,” he whispers, still not looking at him. Not letting himself be swayed. “Or at least… you’re killing me.”

YEAH JUST CHUCK THAT UP THE TOP OF "LIST OF THINGS THAT COULD COMPLETELY SHATTER AND BREAK NATGIG!WOOYOUNG" WONT YOU. LIKE, LIST OF ABSOLUTE LAST FUCKING THINGS HE WANTS TO HEAR. COOL YEAH THATS FINE IM NORMAL ABOUT IT. I MEAN GOOD ON SAN FOR FINALLY TALKING ABT THIS AND HOW HE FEELS BUT OW. OW OW OW OW OW OW OW.

“You would need to give me all of you,” San says softly, a comet whirling by in the sky above him, as if what he’s saying is some sort of wish. Fool’s hope. “No bits and pieces. No secrets, just full honesty. Nothing hidden. Stripped bare.”

Something that Woo will never tell him, that makes him wonder if he truly knows the elemental at all, and San is too tired to hold on to false hope any longer.

AND THEN THE SAN SCENE. WHEN I WAS ALREADY AT MY WITS FUCKING END. SWEET, KIND, UNDERSTANDING SAN. SAN WHO LOOKS BETRAYAL IN THE EYES AND SHOWS HER EMPATHY BECAUSE HE TOO HAS BEEN IN HER SHOES. SAN WITH A HEART TOO BIG FOR HIS HANDS. SOBBING PROFUSELY.

“I can tell that the world hasn’t been kind to you, just as it hasn’t been to me,” he says, not giving you the chance to speak. “Your family is also dead. Powerful men are also hunting you. You also have nothing left.”

I DIDNT EVEN... NOTICE THE PARALLELS TILL JUST NOW??? THE. THEY. HE. OUUGHHHH WHAT IS THERE EVEN TO SAY LEFT. THEYRE BOTH IN THE SAME BOAT THEY. ALL THEY HAVE NOW IS EACH OTHER (REFERRING TO THE FOUR OF THEM) AND. HHHHHHHHHHH

And in the face of that person - the person that you truly are, horrible faults and all - he does not shy away. He has seen you unravelled but holds you all the same, and amidst the situation’s ugliness, it is the most accepted you have ever felt.

THIS. WHEN CHARACTERS SEE EACH OTHER AT THEIR ABSOLUTE WORST AND HOLDS THEM ANYWAY.... BE STILL MY BEATING HEART OHHH FUCK TOO STILL TOO STILL DOCTOR HE'S FLATLINING HE'S-

THE KISS AHJKFGKJSDKFGSFDG OR THE NOT-KISS, HONESTLY I THINK THE FACT THAT THEY DIDNT KISS MADE THAT SCENE EVEN MORE IMPACTFUL SOMEHOW CAUSE THEYRE BOTH ACKNOWLEDGING THE BACKLOAD OF BAGGAGE THEY HAVE TO WORK THROUGH BUT.... THEY STILL CARE 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 I AM TOO EMOTIONAL FOR THIS LATELY. can you tell ive been in the shits. i blame the skz concert but i digress

i dont even know what to say abt the woohwa scene like if im gonna copy paste my favourite parts im gonna copy paste the entire scene and just projectile scream cry about it like. oh ymgod. oh my goddd. my fuckin gofdd.

ok i lied

“How does it not bother you seeing them like that?” Wooyoung asks, along with the unspoken question: “How do I make it not bother me?”

When Wooyoung doesn’t respond, Seonghwa shrugs. “If she can bring San a little peace, well, why should I not let her?”

WOOYOUNGS JEALOUSY VS SEONGHWAS EMPATHY: FIGHT! god i just... fucking love this exchange, i think wooyoung really needed it.

ok i really do need to copy paste this entire passage

Wooyoung doesn’t know what to say to that. When he looks at you he sees the Libaiyan orphanage, he hears the oath he gave swearing complete obedience to your father three times a day. He thinks of those nights he spent dreaming of your entire family’s demise, of what he would give to be the one to set that kingdom on fire.

But he also sees the broken girl crying over the horrors she committed. He sees your worried gaze lifting him from the sauna’s fog and casting him a trusting glance across the table when trying to trick the mimic.

He sees you knees deep in the mud, begging him to understand that you never knew about the orphanages. Tears in your eyes as the two of you were at death’s door, whispering about how sorry you were.

How can you be both of those people at once? How can you be his greatest enemy, but also the only person he’s been able to tell the truth about his past?

He hates you. He also doesn’t.

like that.... that. god, what do i even SAY to that, ive been sitting in the shits over this for like an hour. my god. wooyoung continues to be my favourite character in this series (tho ofc i love all of them immensely) and this is just. WRENCHING OUT WHATEVER WAS LEFT OF MY HEART AND STOMPING IT INTO THE GROUND. THNAKS.

“We’re killing each other, Woo. Or at least… you’re killing me.” San’s words.

“We both loved you, and this is what we get for it?” Winter.

I AM A BROKEN FUCKING MAN. THE PARALLELS. OP WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. IM THROWING MYSELF INTO THE OCEAN.

And for tonight alone, Wooyoung breaks.

YEAH, ME THE FUCK TOO. ME THE FUCKKKK TOO. WHAT AN ENDING TO LEAVE THAT ON. JESUS CHRIST. N I THOUGHT THE BRUNT OF THE HEARTBREAK WOULD HAVE BEEN OVER W THE LAST CHAPTER BUT DAMN. SOMEHOW THAT HURT EVEN MORE. YOU PULL NO PUNCHES W US HUH.

K COOL IM GONNA GO N LIKE.... GNAW ON SHEET METAL, OR SOMETHING. HAVE A TERRIBLE (WONDERFUL) DAY <3

Not all that Glitters is Gold -> 09

series pairing: (fem) princess!reader x seonghwa x san x wooyoung. eventual polyamory.

series masterlist | previous chapter

Part Nine: indignation, drasilisks, and a nail in the coffin.

series rating: 16+

series genre: action and adventure. romance. angst. fluff. suggestive. fantasy au.

series warnings: character death, blood and violence, weaponry, injury, suggestive content, mxm content, elements of misogyny, language, monsters. (will only be using chapter specific warnings for things not included on this list.)

summary: as a princess fleeing a royal assassination attempt, you have no choice but to put your trust in a band of three thieves in order to reach the kingdom of kuroku alive. however, amongst magic, deceit, and the bounty hunters that are hot on your trail, you realize that you might have stumbled upon a relationship far more complicated than what meets the eye.

chapter details beneath the cut ->

Keep reading

[brrrritscoldinhere]

Smoke and Ice Cream

cw: smoking

Remus walked out of the bar, craving fresh air after being smooshed in crowds of people for so long. He looked up at the sky and squinted his eyes. How had the moon risen up so high? It had been only eight when he walked in with Lily. Speaking of Lily, he had no idea where she had gone to. Last he’d seen her was when she was dancing with a bloke with dark skin and even darker hair. It hadn’t even been dancing at that point, more of grinding. Remus grimaced and tried to get the memory out of his head. Sure, he was her best friend and all, but he didn’t want to see anything like that.

A waft of smoke caught his nose, and his face pinched. He always hated the smell of cigarettes, and couldn’t stand it when Lily smoked near him. He turned discreetly to find a handsome bloke leaning against the wall of the pub, long fingers holding a cigarette and what Remus could see were multiple rings adorning them. His hair fell in waves of black down to his shoulders, and his eyelids had some kind of eyeshadow on them, making him look smouldering and absolutely gorgeous to the bone.

Their eyes caught and Remus quickly glanced away, a blush he hoped was too dark to see forming on his cheeks. He heard a stomp of a foot, before a voice right behind him said, “Quite the looker, eh, darling?”

Remus jolted, turning around to find the handsome man right there, eyes that he found so pretty before now intense and held a gleaming look in them. Still pretty, but very much intimidating.

Remus’ very intelligent response was to say, “Huh? I’m— I— uh.”

The man chuckled. He seemed to be amused by Remus, for whatever reason that may be. Oh, and his lips. Pink, curling softly up to a smirk, and so downright tempting to the core. Remus caught himself after a second and quickly looked back up to the man’s eyes, which he immediately regretted. Now they held interest, a sort of curiosity that hinted at— at something, something Remus just couldn’t put his finger on. The man smirked once more, and held out a hand. It was no longer holding a cigarette.

“Sirius Black. Nice to meet you.”

Remus blinked. He shook his hand. Everything felt robotic and like he wasn’t deciding on things himself, more of a survival instinct his mind had to switch on just to be able to function. “Re— Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you too.”

“So the pretty boy has a name,” Sirius said in a teasing tone, and the other man’s face burned up. “And why’re you at a pub, darling? You look like you should be im your bedroom, studying for the next exam you’ve got.” He raised a hand to brush the side of Remus’ glasses.

Remus blushed, looking down at his turtleneck and trousers. Yeah, it wasn’t really attire to wear at a pub, but he thought he would be out within an hour and back home with his cat, reading a book or maybe having a cup of his favourite tea.

“Not that I’m complaining. You look very pretty.” Sirius tilted his head up, as if challenging the other man to say something. “Here for a birthday or something?”

Remus shook his head. “No— just— just here with my friend. I dunno where she is, though.”

Something flashed through Sirius’ eyes. “Friend, huh?”

Remus caught on pretty quick. He wanted to laugh, if his stomach didn’t feel so fluttery at the moment. “Uh— yeah, just a friend. I— I don’t— you know, swing that way. If you know what I mean.”

Sirius smiled, the quirk of his lips different from his smirk. “Ah. I do know what you mean.”

Remus nodded jerkily. He didn’t know what to say next; it wasn’t like he was always approached by good looking blokes all the time. He was awkward at best, antisocial at worst, never talking to people before they talked to him, or doing anything to keep up small talk with people he didn’t know well.

“Well, Remus, what if we went to get ice cream right now, considering it’s a little too late to get coffee?”

Remus’ head shot up, and he blinked owlishly. “Well, I don’t think coffee might keep me awake. It hasn’t for a long while. Might be a problem,” he said dazedly, not knowing what Sirius was trying to say. Or did he?

Sirius laughed, a small, joyful sound that warmed Remus from inside out. “That’s a little concerning, yeah. But I’d rather have a date where we could learn about out favourite flavours of ice cream and see whether we’re compatible or not, eh?” He said it jokingly, but his eyes held sincerity.

Date? “My favourite flavour is vanilla,” Remus replied stupidly, and his heart and head felt like passing out.

Sirius laughed again. “Ah. I can tell. Mine’s cotton candy,” he said with a grin.

Remus scrunched his nose. “Cotton candy? That’s way too sweet.”

Sirius tsked. “How dare you. It seems like we’re incompatible after all.” But he grinned after a second. “Though I’d still love that date with you.”

And if Remus found himself giggling over Sirius ranting about how cotton candy was the best flavour in the universe, well, he couldn’t say he regretted agreeing much.

[starfinss]

Wingman — Akaashi Keiji

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Summary: Bokuto heard you like Akaashi and decides to be your wingman. It goes about as well as it sounds.

Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader

Rating: Fluff, humor (SFW)

Word Count: 1,779

“Do you like Akaashi?”

You choked on your rice at Bokuto’s sudden question, sending you into a violent coughing fit as you pounded on your chest in an attempt to clear your throat.

“I’m sorry, what?!” You said once you could speak, taking a large swallow of water from your bottle.

Bokuto looked blankly at you, owlishly, which was sort of his default expression. “I asked if you liked Akaashi.”

You sent a glance to Yukie, who seemed to be trying her best to look innocent.

“Who,” you said pointedly, and you watched Yukie’s facade break, just a smidge, “told you something like that?”

Bokuto inclined his head in said girl’s direction. “Her.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Yukie, I told you not to tell anyone. And you told him of all people?”

A pause, then offense flashed across Bokuto’s face. “Hey!”

Yukie made a pained noise. “I’m sorry! It kind of just… slipped out. We were talking about how Akaashi never seems to date anyone, and I remembered what you told me and I just… I couldn’t stop talking!”

“No offense, Yukie, but Bokuto isn’t the best at keeping secrets.”

“Hey hey, I can keep secrets!”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, hands flattened against your temples.

“Okay, prove it by keeping this one. I haven’t told Akaashi because I’ve never seen him ever show me any sign that he feels the same.”

Bokuto took a large bite of his sandwich. “Just tell ‘im anyway. What’s the worst that could happen?”

You sighed. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, it’s disgusting. And I dunno, he could reject me?”

Bokuto swallowed loudly, a splitting grin growing on his face.

“Well, what about this, (L/N). How about I be your wingman? Ey?”

Your mind flooded with all the ways that idea could go wrong, and the bad outweighed the good.

“No. No, Bokuto—“

“Come on, (L/N), let me help! I know Akaashi better than anyone, we’re best friends! I wanna do this for you, come on, let me!”

Bokuto was relentless on and off the court, and he was hard to argue with. He did know Akaashi the best, you’d give him that, even while you were friends with the quiet setter as well. Being team manager with Yukie really did have its perks.

And Akaashi really was too pretty for his own good.

You could benefit from Bokuto’s help, even if something would undoubtedly go terribly wrong in the process.

“Fine,” you relented, resulting in loud cheers, the sounds drawing the attention of the people eating lunch around you.

You exchanged a weary look with Yukie.

“I hate you,” you said, and she smiled.

“I know.”

Your eyes flicked back to Bokuto, who was bouncing in his seat.

“I have a plan.”

You put another bite of rice in your mouth. If this was going to be as insane as you thought it was going to be, you’d need a full stomach.

“Tell me.”

————————

Bokuto’s plan was horrible.

The first one he gave you involved you just walking up and kissing Akaashi, but your use of some choice language in response to that made Bokuto change tactics.

“Go into a closet—“

“No.”

“I could lock—“

“Bo!”

He groaned. “Let me talk!”

“Then stop giving me plans that could result in me being utterly humiliated!”

“Fine! Then try this. Just get him alone after practice and ask him to walk you home.”

You frowned. “We do that every day anyway. We live two houses apart.”

“Toss him some sets!”

Yukie made a frustrated noise. “I’m going to lock you in the club room.”

You gave her a fearful look. “Me?”

“No. Bokuto. But maybe you if we can’t come up with something.”

You closed your now empty lunch box. “So you’re in on this too, now?”

She grinned. “I’ve always been in on this.”

Anger simmered in the pit of your stomach. “Did you tell him on purpose?”

“What?” Yukie said, then paled. “No. That really was an accident. All I’m saying is I support you.”

“Well,” you sighed, “that’s something, I guess.”

“Lock you in the club room!” Bokuto cried, and the expression on his face coupled with the triumphant tone in his voice made it seem very much like he’d struck gold.

You paused. “What?”

“I was joking, Bo,” said Yukie.

“No, but it could work!”

It could. But you were pretty sure Akaashi had a key, so it would be kind of useless to put him in a situation he could easily get out of. And, to further this, you also had a key. Bokuto pouted when you relayed this to him.

“Come on, (L/N), let me be your wingman!”

You rolled your eyes. “Isn’t that what I’m doing? All you’re giving me is stuff like ‘lock yourself in a closet.’”

“It could work!”

The bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period, and you stood up, stretching your arms above your head.

“I’ll see you guys at practice,” you said, “text me if you get any new ideas.”

————————

Practice was somewhat of a nightmare. Of course, it went as well as it usually did, the gym full of Bokuto’s victorious shouts and Akaashi and the other club member’s sarcastic quips. But that wasn’t the problem. Every time something needed to be fetched or the water needed to be refilled, either Yukie or Bokuto, usually with matching grins, suggested you go with Akaashi. Akaashi, of course, shut this down fairly quickly since he had no need to assist you with such menial tasks.

But Bokuto didn’t stop there, no. It was too much to hope a hurricane would stop in its path.

Because during a break, Akaashi approached you.

“Is there any reason why Bokuto is constantly asking me to compliment you?”  He said as he dried his face with a towel.

You furrowed your eyebrows, dread sinking into the pit of your stomach. “He’s doing what?!”

“Asking me to-“

“No, I heard you. I just can’t believe he’s doing that.”

Akaashi blinked, oblivious to the situation. “Is there a problem, (L/N)?”

You sighed. “Yeah. No, I don’t know. This is a mess.”

From what Akaashi told you, Bokuto had started showering you with random compliments, then asked Akaashi if he agreed.

“I just want to know why he’s doing that. Do you think he has a crush on you?”

You shook your head. “No. This is… It’s something else. I don’t really want to talk about it, sorry Akaashi.”

He looked worried all of a sudden. “Is there something wrong?”

Your eyes went wide. “No! I’m fine, really. I just— I can’t talk about it.”

“Why?” Bokuto said, strolling over, and you deflated, “do you not trust him?”

“Bo,” you warned, speaking between gritted teeth, “not. Now.”

“Isn’t this what winging is?”

Akaashi looked deeply confused. “Winging? What is that supposed to mean? Did you make up a word for spiking?”

Bokuto seemed affronted. “No! I’m her… Her man wing—“

“It’s called wingman, Bo,” you muttered.

He was going to give you away.

“Tell him, (L/N), he thinks you’re pretty, smart-“

Akaashi blinked. “You asked me what I thought about that, Bokuto.”

Bokuto faked shock. “So you don’t really think those things?”

“I never said I didn’t.”

Bokuto gave a squawk you could only assume was a cry of victory. “See? See, (L/N) Akaashi thinks you’re pretty! You gotta tell him, tell him now!”

You looked at Bokuto with pure murder in your eyes, and he seemed to falter.

“Tell me what?!”

“Akaashi!” You cried, “talk to me outside, would you?”

You looked sharply at Bokuto.

You buried your head in your hands once you were outside. “ I might as well just come out and say it, because we both know Bokuto isn’t about to quit. That massive meathead is trying to be my wingman because he found out I like you today.”

You sent Yukie a murderous look as she passed the open door, raising your voice a bit as you spoke. “Because someone told him.”

She looked sheepish.

You closed the door, only breaking eye contact with her when you couldn’t keep in anymore due to the new barrier between you.

“Well, that’s fine,” Akaashi said, “I like you, too.”

You worried your lip between your teeth. “I understand if— Wait what?”

Akaashi looked at you blankly. “I like you too, (L/N).”

You were at a loss for words. “You never gave me any signs that you liked me too.”

Akaashi leaned against the door. “I walk you home every night.”

You frowned. “We’re literally neighbors.”

“That’s beside the point. Why do you think I bring you breakfast to eat while we walk to school?”

You blushed. “I thought you were being nice.”

“No,” Akaashi stepped forward, letting his hands fall to your shoulders, “no, (L/N). I like you. You’re an incredible person, and I thought I was making myself clear with my advances.”

Well, you decided, you were a dumbass.

“Wanna… Go get something to eat sometime?” You asked, voice quiet, and Akaashi nodded.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He kissed you, and you swear you forgot how to breathe, that you forgot your own name. You sighed softly, reaching up to thread your fingers into his hair. Akaashi was an intense young man, and kissing him, even if it was simple and innocent, was just as intense. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist with a heartbreaking tenderness, nose brushing yours as his lips pressed and ghosted against your own.

It was cold outside, but you didn’t care, not when his lips were so soft and gentle.

The door opened abruptly and you heard a shout that could only have belonged to Bokuto. You felt Akaashi smile against your mouth before he pulled back.

“I am the best wingman!” He cried, “Hey, hey, hey!”

You laughed. It felt good to laugh, especially when Akaashi was still holding you so close.

“You are, Bo,” you confirmed, resulting in more cheering.

“Akaashi got a girlfriend!” He shouted as he ran inside, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Is that what you want to be?” Akaashi asked, and you nodded.

“Yes.” You were unable to hide your grin.

“Then it’s official.” Akaashi kissed your nose, then stepped back.

“I will hold your hand when we walk home.”

You blushed at his bluntness. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Nice pun!” You heard Yukie shout, and you groaned.

“I hate both of you!”

You didn’t. But the smile that ghosted Akaashi’s lips as you said the words was worth it.

So was the burning kiss he gave you after practice, and the feeling of his hand in yours as you walked home.

Maybe having Bokuto’s help, as disastrous as it had been, wasn’t so bad after all.

[unprofessional-bard]

Don't Push It, Pt. 1

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Part 2 (1/2)

Based on this request.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (the reader is 26 and Joel is 53), a lot of teasing/sexual tension, implied romantic feelings.

Summary: It's been going on for years. They both know better than to act on their feelings, but patience starts running thin when a few boundaries are crossed.

Word Count: 5.280

Author's Note: Okay y'all so I am a whore for Joel with long hair and I unintentionally made this into a fix-it au where Joel is alive. Also, the reader is going to have some OC characteristics to fit the scenario better. Finally, this fic changes POV's a lot, so I'm gonna clear that up:

• ----R and below: The reader's POV.

• ----J and below: Joel's POV.

• ----B and below: Both POV's.

The fic starts off with Joel's POV.

Enjoy!

gif credits: nikolai-stavrogin

"Hey, Joel," Dina called over to the man sipping coffee on his porch.

"Mornin' Dina," He replied as his daughter's girlfriend walked over to him. Her baby bump had grown a little more and it never failed to put a smile on Joel's face.

"There's a little trouble with the patrol today," She said. "Jesse won't be able to make it to patrol with (Y/N)."

Shit.

"And they're askin' me to fill in?" He sat up a little.

"Yup, Maria told me to ask you if-"

"No problem, sure, I'll do it." He spoke nonchalantly, then asked if Jesse was alright. Dina told him she wasn't sure, that it must be something important for him to miss patrol, which made Joel nod: "You told (Y/N) too, or...?"

"No, but she's gonna be there regardless. I doubt that she knows."

"Alright, thanks Dina," Joel got up and she smiled in return before walking over to Ellie's place.

It was wrong. By the lord it was wrong, but he couldn't help it. You were fierce, confident, determined and disciplined; qualities he came to appreciate in time, but a bit differently only when it came to you. He shouldn't want you, an unknown source in his mind kept telling himself, but he did. He didn't know why, he never found himself being attracted to a woman your age, yet you had him under your spell. Oh the things you did to him...

Worst part was, he couldn't have you, whether he liked it or not. Nevermind the fact that you were too young for him, you probably didn't want him anyways- despite the crystal clear signals he got from you. It was just how you were, though: A little physical and perhaps a little flirty, but he could just be confusing that with your confidence.

Or he could be overthinking everything.

Joel readied his backpack, but realised there was still a little more than an hour before the rendez-vous, so he decided to head over to your place to tell you about the news to kill some time. After he made it there and knocked on your door while calling your name a couple of times, which were left unanswered, your neighbour curiously looked over the fences and called over to Joel: "She left a while ago... For the gym, I think."

"Thank you," Joel smiled politely and earned a wave from the lady in return. He took his time as he walked over to the gym. After he arrived, he looked around for awhile to spot where you were, but when he found it, the sight almost made him choke.

There you were, ankles crossed as you pulled yourself up and chin over the barfix with closed eyes, a frown and a clenched jaw. Sweat laced the sides of your face and Joel's eyes wandered lower: You were wearing a sports bra and matching shorts which hugged your frame tightly and the sun was shining directly onto your muscles, which the lord himself carved out and were also sweaty, but Joel didn't care - it made you look more attractive, if anything. You let out a huff and lowered yourself down, while he tried to collect himself. He didn't want to disturb you so he decided to wait until you finished...

...but you didn't seem to be finishing any time soon. He didn't want to look like a creep as he stood there and waited, so after you did another pull up and let yourself down, he cleared his throat.

----R

"(Y/N), here you are."

Had you not been already hanging, you definitely would've fell when you heard Joel's voice reach your ears. You opened your eyes to see him slowly approach you, his stupid thumb stuck in behind his stupid belt.

You hated it: You hated finding this man attractive and you hated your guts for occasionally flirting with him - him, who probably would never look at you the way you looked at him. He liked you, of course, he enjoyed your company but not the way you wanted him to. You hated that you had a crush on this man, who became even more gorgeous as he let his hair grow over the last few years, you also hated how he neatly parted it to the left.

Patrol with him was both a treat and a curse at the same time. You got to spend time with him, which made it a treat, but when you watched him- saw him in action, how aggressive he was, heat started to pool between your thighs. He was so rough and precise as he was smart; he always knew what to do under any circumstance, so you almost never worried when you went out with him. He made you feel safe, praised you and played with your heart when he responded to your flirting and nothing came out of it.

You hated it because your little "crush" on him was pathetic, for someone as confident as you. Sure, you teased and flirted with him, but one praise as simple as you did well today and you'd be melting on spot. You even tried to get with other people to distract yourself, to no avail. They weren't Joel.

None of them could ever be Joel.

"Good morning!" You said with a high pitched voice, reflecting your struggle to keep yourself up.

"To you too," He chuckled at your state and watched as you pulled yourself up slowly. "Hey, listen. Jesse ain't gonna make it to patrol today so I'm fillin' in for him."

----B

The way you faltered a little didn't escape him: "Why? Is he okay?"

"I dunno, but I'm sure he is. Something important must've come up," Joel informed you, not wanting to worry you as you seemed to care about him. A lot. Ugh.

"Tsk," You breathed out and closed your eyes to focus on keeping your head above the metal bar.

Joel then spoke again: "Yeah, I was just here to let ya know."

"Okay, well-" You exhaled audibly and suddenly let yourself go. The force of the action sent you flying a little and it almost made you bump into him: "Woah, oh, sorry-"

"Woah there," You both chuckled at the same time. Joel held you by your elbows to help you balance yourself and your heart rate picked up pace when you realised how close your face was to his chest a moment ago - the chest you wanted to get your hands on: How muscular was he? How many scars did he have there? How would it feel to run your fingers through the hair as you ro-

"Uhm, yeah, as I was saying," You snapped yourself back to reality and took a small step back, disappointed by the way his fingers let go of your arms: "I'm done here, just need to do a couple of stretches, then head back and take shower."

"Right. Well, I'll see you at the gate, then?"

"Uh, sure, yeah."

You didn't know what else to say other than stay. You wanted him near you and around you, you wanted to show off to him and you wanted his attention, so you had to think quick.

Joel didn't want to leave either, even though you were going to spend the whole day together. He still nodded and turned around to leave. It was then, when a brilliant idea crossed your mind: "Actually, Joel?" He turned around, gave you a soft look that made you want to run up to him and kiss all over his face. "Could you help me with my stretches?"

If he'd been drinking or eating anything, he most definitely would've choked: "Help you?"

"Yeah," You flashed a smile at him. "It's simple, you just gotta press me down and keep me in place." The widening of his eyes, puzzled face and his tense posture made you shy. "Eh- Normally, Jesse helped me with them."

True. Some stretches required someone to push your body to its limits - when you worked out alone, you stuck to simpler stretches, but right now, you needed a reason to have him by your side.

Joel was torn between leaving, like a responsible person who knew when to walk away would. He was responsible, yes, but his moral compass was thrown out of the window whenever you joined the picture. So far, he wanted to think he was handling his emotions well- by not acting on them and not talking about them.

Now, however, it was as if he was facing the last straw. He had a few boundaries left to cross, and this was one of them.

"Plus, I'm a bit tired to do them. Will you help me?"

Lies. All lies.

You'd been doing these stretches for long enough, even though you'd worked hard, you weren't tired at all. Joel thought this to be the case, so he tried to go around it: "You sure? I mean, how're you tired?"

"I've been training like hell this morning," You settled on the mat. "I don't wanna do these stretches, but I have to. I'm not in the mood to pull a muscle today."

That was good enough for him really: "'Kay," He sighed. "What do you need me to do?"

Your eyes glowed in excitement before you faced forward and explained: "Im gonna lean forward, like this-" You extended your legs forward and lowered yourself down. "All you gotta do is press on my back and stop me from moving away for a few seconds."

A few seconds which felt like five minutes, truth be told.

As soon as he touched your bare back, you sighed, then forced it into a hiss. He immediately retreated his hands, thinking he hurt you, pushing the ludicrous idea that you might have moaned away immediately.

His hands were big and a little cold comparing to your skin which was on fire after the workout, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't do that on purpose. You straightened up and looked at him with an innocent smile: "Your hands are cold."

Not cold enough to make you react like that, obviously.

Joel offered an awkward chuckle from the back of his throat: "You're gonna have to deal with it, missy."

And deal with it you did- barely. Christ, that was a bad idea, your worst one yet. To have his hands on your bare skin, pressing you down made your cheeks burn and mouth hang open as he kept you in place. You almost didn't hear him when he spoke, too busy trying to comprehend the size of his hands and how they'd feel around your throa-

"How many of these do you gotta do?"

"Uh, dunno," You blurted out. "Not too many."

Joel was partly glad, it felt so wrong yet it was just a simple act of help you could've asked from anyone. After 20 seconds of staying like that, you straightened. You went into a head-to-knee position and gave him an okay to press you down again.

You switched to the other leg after half a minute, but you were running out of ideas. There weren't any positions left that you could use his help with, so you played one last card to ruin him: "More."

"W-What?"

Good riddance.

"Press a little harder," You pretended to focus and tried your best not to smirk, knowing you had him where you wanted.

"Oh- hm," He cleared his throat and pressed a little more down on your back. If your plan hadn't backfired and made you almost moan through your teeth, everything was going accordingly.

Joel went to pull back, but stopped when you added: "It's been a while since I did these..."

Christ.

"That enough?" He slowly retreated his hands and stood up, watching you lean up where you sat.

"Yup, that'll be it," You smiled and blinked a couple of times. If Joel had known better, he would've thought you were making him do that, then being all cute on purpose-

It was going to be a long day.

----R

Patrol with the older Miller went as normally as it always was. Part one usually went like this: Meet up at the gate, get your rifles and horses, ride out, reach checkpoint one and sign your names. The road to checkpoint one didn't have any trouble, it usually never did. It was more quiet between you two than usual though. Had you gone too far?

"So, uh," You said once the two of you mounted your horses again. "You coming to the dance tonight?"

"What?" He snapped his head in your direction, looking clueless. "What dance?"

"Well, not a dance exactly but- you know what I mean?" You started riding. "The adults only event?"

He looked really distracted, a bit tense even: "Oh, right. You know those ain't my thing."

"I know," You nodded with a soft smile. "But I haven't seen you in any event ever since you decked Seth."

"Decked?" Joel chuckled bitterly at the memory.

"He deserved it, and more, that prick," You rolled your eyes, making him chortle.

"And nobody managed to shut up about it for the whole month," He sighed with a gorgeous yet tired smile on his face which you managed to see just in time. "So, no thanks. I'll pass."

"Aw, come on," You whined. "You can't avoid coming to these events forever. Please?"

He gave you a confused look, his smile slowly disappearing but not in a bad way: "Why?"

A good question. Oh, no reason, just wanna try and make a move on you, quite possibly jump your bones if it all goes well.

"I wanna make sure you haven't lost your ability to socialise." You offered.

"Really? Why, you're my momma now?"

"Ew, no," You both laughed. "Can't I be sure my friend is alive and well occasionally?"

----J

Friend.

A word that made Joel stop and think.

You saw him as a friend, huh? Two people, with clear sexual tension and an obvious age gap between them- Friends was an awkward description for him, but it was better than nothing.

He opened his mouth to reply, to insist that he was indeed alive and well, but you stopped him: "You know what I mean."

The conversation was making him a little distracted, he noticed, so he decided to keep his mouth shut until you reached checkpoint two. You didn't press him on, which was also a delight. That's another thing he liked about you: You knew your bounds- in patrol anyways. Or maybe it was because you got to know him well over the time, knew what he liked or not.

Part two went quieter too- infected and conversation wise. Not even a single runner was on sight as you swept through the small cabins and houses. Except for the occasional clear's and nothing here's, you didn't say anything else. Joel itched to talk to you, about anything to break the silence, but he was too lost in thought.

When you finally made it back to Jackson, you finally spoke up: "So? You coming?" He chuckled, mostly out of relief, then you added: "I found a new outfit, I wanna know what you think."

That caught Joel's attention. With a curious smile, after handing over your horses, he asked: "What outfit?"

"You'll see... If you come." You smirked, your close proximity making Joel's heart race.

"Don't get your hopes up," He sighed with a small grin and tucked his thumb behind his belt, the other one gripping the strap of his rifle.

"You're the worst," You punched his shoulder with mock upset, making him chortle and stumble a little to the right. "Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow then."

Joel remained quiet, then you walked away with a soft smile gracing your lips. The words sunk deeper than he would've liked, a sudden wave of guilt soaking his guts with regret, even though you didn't sound disappointed or upset. Lips pursed, he watched you hand your rifle to Peter and sign off, then leave; his steps coming to a halt as you did.

He just might check out what was up at the dance tonight, if he could successfully move himself out of his comfort zone in the following few hours.

----R

"Well well, look who it is," Tommy grinned when you approached the doors of the pub. The night had settled across the sky by the time you stepped outside your place. The sound of music and chatter of the people from inside filled your ears.

"Yours truly," You smirked. "It's crowded in there huh?"

"It sure is," Tommy said as he turned around to lead you inside. "Adults only events tend to attract more people, as y'can guess. Don't you look pretty today."

"Why thank you." You smiled playfully: "For no one, but myself, at that."

You lied through your teeth. You had dressed up in the silly hope that Joel would actually show up. You had been planning on it ever since you came across the item wrapped around your hips in an abandoned clothes shop a few weeks ago, and this event was the perfect excuse for you to wear it. For him.

"I ain't sayin' nothing!" Tommy raised his hands up in defense. "Figured that much, haven't seen anyone catch your interest in a long time."

Ha. Nice.

The atmosphere was lively and the air was warm, full of energy. Chatter and dancing went about the packs of people scattered across the space, but you couldn't see Joel, much to your disappointment - you weren't surprised though. What surprised you was Jesse suddenly showing up.

"Where's Ellie and Dina?" You asked after a while of teasing him about missing patrol.

"They decided to stay behind, I guess." He shrugged.

"What can I get y'all?" Tommy smiled, suddenly appearing behind the counter. Without waiting for an answer, he filled two glasses and pushed them towards you. You and Jesse looked at each other for a brief moment, before knocking it back at one go. "Woah there..."

A round of laughter later, you felt someone's presence behind you, then they tapped you on the shoulder: "Hey, (Y/N)!"

Much to your disappointment, once more, it was a boy named Mark. He was a year older than you, had no features whatsoever matching Joel's prettier ones and he took an obvious liking to you, which in truth you didn't appreciate, even though he wasn't weird about it or anything. You faked a smile and turned to him a little: "Hi."

"Good to see you," Sure. "How, uh, how are you?"

"Busy, actually," You pointed at the glass Tommy was refilling for you.

"Mind if I join?" He made himself comfortable on the stool next to you.

"Yeah. I do." Your smile never faded but your words were laced with poison.

He looked between you, Tommy and Jesse, mortified at your answer: "W- Heh, well, would you wanna dance later, then-?"

"No, I don't." You spoke calmly and turned to face Jesse again, only for him to move to tap you on the shoulder, which Tommy stopped from happening.

"Why don't you go home, huh?" He grabbed his wrist firmly, but not hard enough to leave a bruise of course. "The lack of oxygen in your brain's clearly stoppin' you from understandin' a word as simple as no."

You looked over at the younger Miller, a stern look on his face which seemed to make Mark piss himself. Suddenly, an even deeper voice was heard behind the boy: "I advise you to listen to him, son."

You turned completely in your seat to see Joel grabbing Mark by the shoulders, making him jump, then remove him from the seat carefully. Mark's legs were quick to oblige, making him walk towards the exit, but Joel held him in place: "A-ah, what do you say to the lady?"

"I'm s-sorry, (Y/N)," He nodded quickly. "I'll never disturb you again, I promise."

"Good boy," Joel patted him on the back, which sent him running to the door. Your cheeks were suddenly burning and you couldn't help but smile shyly.

"Tsk, what a jackass," Tommy nodded disapprovingly as Joel took the now empty space next to you.

"You decided to show then, huh?" You smirked at Joel.

"Yeah, figured you'd break someone's wrists and make 'em eat it," He chuckled, tipping his head at his brother in a greeting -God he looked so handsome, was that a new shirt?- before he continued: "Decided it'd be a shame to miss it."

You giggled and lightly pushed at his arm, almost immediately feeling the muscles underneath the rolled up sleeve of his blue shirt: "I'll take that as a I came because you asked and I listened for once." The exchange, obviously, didn't go unnoticed by his brother and Jesse, which made you sit upright suddenly: "Tommy was the one who was gonna break his wrist anyways..."

"Nobody gets to disturb anyone here, especially right in front of me," He said and slid a glass to his brother.

Jesse joined in: "I doubt it, but should he ever-"

"Aw, you guys are spoiling me," You grinned and waved your hand down, pressing the other onto your chest.

----J

You looked beautiful. You were wearing a plain, dark green, mid-thigh, flare skirt; which could pass as a miniskirt, but Joel was no fashion expert. You always did come up with the rarest clothing items (like your sports set that morning), so he wasn't surprised that you happened across the skirt. You also had a simple, white, v-neck t-shirt on- which all in all was the reason you left Joel speechless: You could be wearing something as simple as these, but you'd still look so damn pretty.

A few minutes later, after Jesse and Tommy disappeared in different directions and you were finally left alone, Joel spoke up: "Is this the-"

"What made you-" You gave each other a brief look before chuckling: "You go first."

"Ah, I was gonna ask if this was the outfit you wanted me to see," He said, briefly looking down to point at your skirt.

He watched you run a hand through your hair and bite your bottom lip before answering: "Yeah..." You got up and stuffed your hands in your pockets, which made Joel's heart sizzle. "What do you think?"

He gave you a genuine smile: "I think you look beautiful."

The shock on your face made Joel panick a little, but when you offered a shy little smile, he relaxed: "You- Really?"

He gave you a single, slow nod in acknowledgement, his smile grew bigger when you beamed at him and offered him a quiet thank you, then sat back. You were staring hard at your glass, clearly avoiding his gaze and he found it rather cute, but didn't comment on it.

He was looking forward to chat with you, after all, you were the reason why he showed up, but you were unfortunately dragged away by a couple of friends, Jesse included...

To dance.

An upbeat song he didn't recognise started playing, putting you and another boy, Mick, to action. Everyone backed away to give you two space, then started off with what seemed to be something you'd been practicing for a while. You mirrored each other's moves, it was similar to some folk dance he'd watched way before the outbreak, but it most definitely wasn't a folk dance. Your arms linked occasionally, hands on your hips as you crossed each other's legs with fast movements and other types of moves Joel couldn't name if he tried, but it was organised and fun to watch. It wasn't intimate, too, just a silly little dance as you called it minutes later when you finished and walked to the bar for a drink. You didn't stay long, though, just downed your drink, winked at him and went back to the stage where you and Mick (but mostly you) stole the show.

It went on for two more rounds, to the point your t-shirts were absolutely soaked and your legs couldn't take it anymore. Joel had a particularly hard time in his seat, watching your skirt float around your thighs made him feel embarrassed with himself. Tommy even went as far as to tease him about his constant squirming, but a glare from his older brother was enough to shut him up.

The last dance finished off with you in Mick's arms, leaning back in his hold and closing your eyes with laughter. Everyone clapped you both, which earned you a kiss on the cheek from Mick- which you returned. Joel's jaw clenched unintentionally, even though you and him didn't appear to be more than friends.

Stop. Stop it, you idiot.

He couldn't care less about these types of things, drama about who's dating who and whatnot, but when it came to you he naturally grew curious.

He watched you, eyelids struggling to keep themselves open as Jesse led you and helped you onto the stool, next to Joel once more. You huffed and giggled, eyes closed with sweat droplets on your forehead. He couldn't help it when his smile grew wider at your tipsy state.

What he didn't see coming was the sudden hand on his thigh and your back against his arm, letting your head drop onto his shoulder as you let out a brief laugh: "Never let me dance and drink at the same time again."

Joel didn't know what to say, he quickly looked around for Jesse only to find him already gone and a couple of people staring at the both of you. With a rush of panic, he responded: "I don't think I'm the one you should say that to, darlin'."

Your hand and the rest of your body immediately retreated when you jumped at his voice: "Joel?!" You looked a little embarrassed and he couldn't help but smirk. "Uh, where's Jesse?"

The question almost made him scrunch up his face, but he patiently waited until the end of the conversation, which was after you've walked away to find the boy in question and he was alone with his own thoughts... Jealousies...

"He dropped you off and went over there, I think." Joel nodded to the direction he thought Jesse went off to - he didn't see though, he was too busy focusing on you when your fingertips had brushed somewhere dangerously near his crotch.

"Huh," You stared around to find him, but Joel figured you were too intoxicated to actually see that far. "You need to stop wearing the same clothes."

He raised a brow at that: "You tell him that."

"Oh I will," You grinned mischievously and suddenly grabbed Joel's glass of whiskey from his hand, then downed it at one go before he could intervene.

"Hey!" He tried to grab the glass from you but you leaned back. "I think you've had enough for the night."

"Says who-?" You pouted and at the very same time, lost your balance, realising that you leaned a little too back. However, Joel caught you; one hand on your arm, the other on your waist and he pulled you back - he didn't know if you did it purposefully, but you practically fell into his body: "Oh! I'm sorry-" You laughed, not looking sorry at all. "Thanks, Joel," You purred, extending the 's' and the 'l' at the end of each word as you grabbed onto his biceps. "You saved me."

"Pfft," Joel couldn't help but let his hand linger on your waist as he made sure you stood in place. Your eyes met when you lifted your head from his chest - the meaning behind his hazel gaze and your own was similar and it lasted for what felt like a whole minute, while in reality it was no longer than a few seconds.

You finally let his arms go and he took it as his cue to remove his hand from your waist (which, for a moment, felt like it had been glued there): "So... You enjoying yourself, old man?"

Joel sighed through his nose, amused at how the alcohol in your system was slowing your speech, then went back to how he had been sitting before you came. Just when you asked, the smooth, familiar tune of Ain't No Sunshine started playing. After all the excitement, a slower music felt nice: "Sure. You?"

"Oh I sure am," You nodded and leaned back against the counter with something of a triumphant smile.

"I can tell," Joel replied, then without turning his head, side eyed you. His stare later on moved down to your skirt. "Why'd you get all dressed up for, really?"

"Huh?" You blinked, not processing if he was asking what you thought he was.

"I, uh- just never took you for the skirt type."

"Is that so?" You asked, eyes widening. "Well, just trying on a new outfit..." You looked down and bit your lower lip, making Joel's heart skip a beat. He mentally kicked himself for not leaving right then and there and continuing to talk to you: "There's actually another reason."

"Hm?"

"There's this guy," You turned towards him, placed your arm paralleled across his on the counter and leaned forward a little, pretending to look around. His fingertips scratched against the wooden surface of the counter at the mention of this guy in question. "I don't know his name, but maybe you do?"

He just raised a brow when you looked at him innocently: "He's a bit old, around this tall," Your hand went back and forth in the air as you tried to size the man's height in your mind. "Has pretty, long, graying hair with an also graying beard... A little scar on his nose," You looked at him and leaned in a little more, invading his personal space but not touching him, then pointed at the exact spot on your nose and it was then, Joel realised, that you were indeed describing himself. "He's wearing this blue shirt and, honestly, it would look better on him if he opened another button or two."

I know, I know

Hey I oughta leave young thing alone

But ain't no sunshine when she's gone

He wanted to counter, tease you back, lean down and taste your lips, then place a kiss or two on your neck and bite it softly just to hear you moan quietly into his ear- he also needed to get his shit together, as much as he wanted to do all of that.

He couldn't quite believe his self control when he leaned away from you, especially since the tip of your noses almost touched and he felt your hot breath on his lips. He cleared his throat and quickly looked around to see if anyone was looking- no one had seen the rather intimate interaction so he spoke: "I don't know who that is."

The disappointment on your features was like a knife twisting up in his guts. You blinked a couple of times, but didn't lean back: "S- Sure you do..."

"I don't," Joel insisted, his voice stern. "Maybe you should look for someone else."

Your disappointment turned into embarrassment and anger, making you frown and lean back: "Excuse me."

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't no home

Anytime she goes away

And with that, you got up and stormed away, leaving Joel wanting, aching and ashamed.

Anytime she goes away

Anytime she goes away

Anytime she goes away