#i dunno does that make sense to anyone else lol

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

It has come to that time of year, on our Bible reading plan (Robert Roberts', if you're curious) where we approach The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's. We were listening to it in the car today and I found it fascinating to spark thoughts. It's wonderfully pure, and that was what really struck me - it's unlike a lot of the vaguely or outright NSFW stuff I hear about nowdays, which seems to exist in a cheapened and vulgarised form. Call me a prude all you like, but I maintain that. Song of Solomon is incredibly erotic (especially if you think a bit on some of the euphemisms it employs) but with a certain innocence and purity that suits the subject matter far more than the crude 'humour' popularised today.

It then caused me to consider how, if at all, it could in the future be applicable to me. The answer is at this point I don't know. I'm in no way denying that I'm female! but the truth of the matter is I do not want to be perceived as a woman, and I don't really know how that ever fits with marriage. Unfortunately I am a creature of complications and contradictions. I suppose I differentiate between being female, and being a woman, by saying that the latter is that I do not want to be perceived as a sexual or (at this point) romantic possibility for anyone (not even the boy I am interested in, but that more because I know he specifically is not interested, so I don't know, if magically his feelings changed, what would happen. Still, that's irrelevant because it sha'n't happen). But at the same time I want it very much, at least in theory. I suppose that if God sees fit to bless me with someone who would be interested in me, that it'll all work out - one way or another - even if that simply shows me that I'm more suited to be single.

Occasionally I think about the two brave lads at the church conference in January who went there with the expressed intention of finding girls to try and consider a future with. They were going around talking to all the girls they could. One determined he wasn't interested in me pretty quickly, and the other I think I accidentally scared off with what I only intended as 'hey you can leave the convo if you want I won't be offended' but hindsight suggests that it probably sounded like I was saying to get lost. Ah well! Still I think about them because I really hope they each found someone. And I vaguely wish someone would come for me, but I don't know either if I should like it, at all, or if I would even become aware of it if they were interested. I'm always weird with boys. There's the boy at work who just because he has a pleasant smile and uses it very frequently, I get weird around him and cannot meet his eyes. I wouldn't call it flustered because it's not really - just weird.

But yeah, I love Song of Solomon and think it exceedingly beautiful.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Maybe I Just Wanna Be Yours

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: oral (f receiving), handjob, sub Loki, edging & overstimulation, forced submission kinda, hair pulling, a lil choking, I hope that's everything lol

Genre: smut and I guess fluff

Summary: You make Loki realize something about himself that he was not expecting to learn.

***

You plop down on the couch with your bowl of chips, getting comfortable to watch TV.

"Are you out here by yourself?" Loki's voice surprises you. You hadn't heard him come down the hall.

"Yeah." You glance at him over your shoulder with a shrug.

"Why?" His eyes narrow.

"I'm watching TV. You are familiar with that particular activity aren't you?"

"Yes I am, but why out here alone?" Loki rolls his eyes before sticking his head into the fridge.

"I wanted to leave my room. You're welcome to join me." You shrug.

"Why would I do that?" He scoffs.

"Believe it or not, some people enjoy doing things with other people in different spaces, you awkward little hermit." You roll your eyes. You walk over to the kitchen for a drink, realizing you forgot one.

"I am not a hermit." Loki crosses his arms. You grab a soda and walk over to Loki, leaning in close enough that he leans back suspiciously.

"This is the first time you've been out your room in like a week." You tell him.

"That is not true!" He steps away from you indignantly.

"It is, and that's fine. If that's how you like to live, I'm not judging you for it. But for me anyway, a change of scenery is good for the mind." You shrug walking back over to the couch.

"That doesn't make an ounce of sense."

"To each their own." You hum.

"You are a strange woman."

"Because I'm watching TV?" You tilt your head curiously.

"You spend your time so differently from everyone else here." He says.

"Yeah believe it or not I am an individual."

"That's not what I meant."

"No?"

"I just meant that most of the tower is left unoccupied from day to day, except you, you seem to- be everywhere." He frowns.

"If you're content never leaving your room that's fine, like I said I prefer a change of scenery. Helps mark the passage of time when we're not off saving the world." You shrug.

"There is next to nothing worth doing on this miserable planet."

"You are ridiculously negative." You chuckle, pressing play on your movie of choice for tonight. Clearly, this conversation with Loki is over, you have no interest in going back and forth about his cynicism. You hear him take a sharp breath, if you had to guess it's like one of those breaths you take before speaking but he doesn't say anything and eventually you hear his shoes along the floor and you smirk as you check that he is indeed gone.

It's not necessarily that you enjoy getting under Loki's skin the way you so obviously do, but it is rather easy and no one else speaks to him, which is kind of sad. To be clear you don't pity him, in fact this back and forth he reluctantly engages in is you refusing to treat him any different than you would anyone else on the team. It just so happens that he's easy to rile up and you find it funny but really this is just you being inclusive.

"You know y/n I don't get how you do it." Tony drunkenly says. It's supposed to be game night but after an hour Tony's of course too drunk to play so now you're all just talking.

"How I do what, Stark?" You ask.

"Deal with reindeer games the way you do."

"Reindeer ga- do you mean Loki?" You blink at him. You're not even sure how the group ended up on the subject, he's not here. How long were you checked out of the conversation?

"Yes obviously." He scoffs.

"It would be obvious if you used his name. Why are we talking about him, anyway?"

"Tony decided the next topic of conversation would be the team and somehow we got to how Loki is pretty much a recluse." Natasha explains to you.

"Exceeeept he talks to you. How does that work?" Tony asks.

"I dunno man I just poke fun at him like I do the rest of you and wait til he gets red in the face." You shrug.

"You mess with him on purpose?" Thor frowns.

"No, no! Not- really? He just, okay I don't try to get under his skin exactly, it's just when he engages with me, it seems like he expects hostility. I just give him back what I get from him and I don't think he knows how to handle that. But he keeps talking to me so I guess something about it gets through to him."

"That's very weird." Tony says.

"You're really in no place to judge Tony, we all know your list of idiosyncrasies is practically never ending." You roll your eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Is idiosyncrasies too big a word for our resident mad scientist?" You ask.

"I know what the word idiotsinkities means." He scoffs.

"Right." You hum. The others burst into laughter at Tony's slurred attempt at defending himself. It seems to be enough to change the subject and the rest of the night proceeds without another weird interrogation- especially once Tony passes out.

You lean against the wall as you listen to this guy, Jack, talk. He's close enough for you to smell his cologne, mostly to be heard over the music and the crowd of partygoers. You laugh at some silly joke of his, because he's cute and you'll probably end up making out with him in a quiet corner of the tower later if he doesn't say something stupid before you make that decision. The sound of someone clearing their throat pulls your attention from your conversation. Loki is standing there with his arms crossed and faced squeezed.

"Oh? Look who's come out to play." You muse.

"Do you know this guy?" Jack frowns.

"Jack, this is Loki, he's on the team. Loki this is my new friend Jack. Don't be rude, say hello." You nod your head towards Jack. Loki narrows his eyes as if sizing Jack up.

"Hey man. Nice to meet you." Jack puts his hand out to Loki.

"I don't shake hands." Loki says.

"Right- did you need something? We were, kind of talking."  Jack says.

"I don't care what you were doing." Loki rolls his eyes.

"Play nice Loki." You say, practically singing the warning.

"I'm not a dog." Loki glares at you.

"Well don't go around snarling like one." You snap.

"Is something- going on between you two?" Jack frowns.

"No." You say firmly.

"Alright well I'm going to get another drink, do you want anything?" He asks.

"Just you back here soon." You wink at him.

"I'll be as quick as I can." Jack kisses your cheek and walks off while Loki breathes incredibly noticeably agitated as he rolls his eyes ago.

"Alright Loki, what is your problem?" You scoff.

"He looks like a jungle cat."

"Really? I don't see jungle cat honestly, he kind of looks like a deer to me." You hum.

"Not in his appearance I mean the way he was closing in on you, like a lion waiting to attack a gazelle." He frowns.

"What? You don't think I can handle the big scary man Loki? Don't insult me, I've killed things that would eat him for an afternoon snack." You scoff.

"It's not that I think you can't handle him. Something about him was just- off. Didn't like his energy."

"Something was off? You didn't like his energy? Really that's what we're going with?" With a hand on his chest you press Loki against the wall.

"What else could I possibly be going with?" Loki tries to keep his voice steady, but with your hand now trailing down his abdomen you can feel muscles tensing under your touch.

"Truthfully I think somebody didn't quite enjoy seeing me pay so much attention to Jack. Don't worry Loki, he couldn't possibly replace you." You hum.

"Don't be ridiculous." He scoffs. You smirk as your hand dances lower and you watch him go stock still when your fingers trace along the waistband of his pants.

"You won't get anywhere by lying to me you know." You say. His mouth drops open slightly as you curl your fingers for your nails to gently caress his skin. "Do you want me to stop Loki?" You whisper in his ear teasingly. As if a bucket of ice water was dumped on him you watch Loki jump back out of your reach and clear his throat before walking off with a glare. You frown as you watch him go, perhaps you pushed too far this time. You think you need to apologize. You start to make your way through the crowd and somehow get caught by Jack.

"Hey, where are you off to?" He asks.

"Looking for you actually, I need a bathroom but I didn't want you to think I was leaving you hanging. If you go back to our little corner I will find you again shortly, alright?" You tap his chest and bat your eyelashes before spinning away from him to continue your task of tracking Loki down. You pop into the nearest empty room.

"Friday, where the hell did Loki go?" You ask her. The tower is huge and since you lost sight of him while talking to Jack it could take you forever to find him on your own.

"He's on the Balcony lounge at the end of the hall upstairs." Friday tells you.

"Thank you!" You tell her, heading for the stairs. Sure enough, there's Loki brooding on the balcony by himself. You slide open the door and Loki's head whips around. When his eyes settle on you, they narrow.

"I've had it with your games tonight." He says.

"No games. I actually wanted to apologize." You say.

"For what?" He regards you suspiciously.

"If I went too far just now. I'm never trying to make you uncomfortable with the teasing. If I crossed a line I want you to know I wasn't trying to and I respect your boundaries." You say gently.

"You think that made me uncomfortable?" He scoffs.

"Well you did quite literally run away."

"You do realize I'm a god, don't you?"

"So what?" You shrug.

"People worship me y/n."

"People worship me too Loki. Shall I start calling myself a goddess?" You cross your arms.

"Of course not." Loki looks at you incredulously.

"Well I'm just saying darling if you're quantifying your power here by being worshiped there are people who would tell you I am the path to heaven. Or, I suppose for you it would be Valhalla, right?" You tilt your head.

"That's rather presumptuous."

"Don't misunderstand here. I never asked them to deify me but who am I to deny those who believe I know the entrance heaven's gate?"

"And where is that?"

"Heaven's gate?" You chuckle, quirking an eyebrow up at him. "I don't think you can handle the answer to that question Loki, truthfully."

"You have no idea what I can handle." He frowns.

"I'm sure you're very capable honey but you've made it clear that you and I have... very different types." You say.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The frown deepens.

"Why did you run off? If you weren't uncomfortable, what made you run and hide?" You ask.

"How does this pertain to my question?" Loki shakes his head.

"My question is the answer to yours."

"I don't follow."

"Answer the question, and I'll offer an explanation." You say. Loki lets out a harsh breath through his nose.

"Your behavior, is disarming."

"And you don't like being disarmed?" You tilt your head.

"It's not something I'm used to."

"Right." You hum.

"So?"

"So?"

"You said if I answered you'd explain the connection." Loki says.

"I like disarming people. It's something I do quite well, and often. You don't seem too fond of that. Which- obviously wouldn't work."

"It's something you do well with mortals. I'll remind you I'm a god."

"So you've said but I did it pretty well to you like five minutes ago." You shrug.

"You caught me off guard." He frowns.

"It's not like I couldn't do it again."

"That's a rather bold assumption. One that I'm inclined to disagree with." His brow furrows.

"That's cute." You chuckle.

"I'm not so easily frazzled as your pathetic midgardian males." Loki insists.

"What just happened does not support that claim, but your insistence is exactly what I'm talking about when I say you're not my type. Putting you in your place would be so much trouble." You shrug.

"Putting me in my place?! On the contrary darling I would have you begging me. You'd call me king."

"What do I care for a king when there people who call me their god?" You scoff tugging at Loki's shirt to bring his face closer to yours. "Do you get it yet Loki? You want control and I'm unwilling to give it. You think too small to ever command me."

"You don't know that." His eyes narrow.

"Your breathing stuttered when I grabbed your shirt. Plus there's not a creature in all the nine realms thinking big enough to command me darling. Don't worry it's not just you." You wink at him pulling back and turning away from him to leave.

"Your attitude is insufferable." Loki growls grabbing your wrist and pinning you against the building with a hand around your throat.

"Is it?" You smile trailing your fingers from his wrist up his arm. You watch his jaw tense as his eyes snap between your face and your hand a couple of times before his gaze settles on you. His grip on your neck tightens as your fingers reach his shoulder. There, you shoot your hand quickly into his hair, fisting a handful of it and yanking, hard. Loki's head snaps back and his knees almost buckle as a strangled moan escapes from him. Your other hand grabs his wrist attached to the hand on your neck, his grip has loosened to practically nothing from your sudden hair pull but this is about power and control and if he's determined to convince you he's got some here you're determined to ensure he knows that's not true. "Let go Loki." You say in that sultry commanding tone you usually reserve for submissives. Slowly, his fingers unfurl until they no longer hold you and you finally release his hair, only to knock his ankle in such a way that he drops to his knees. He snaps his head up towards you with a glare in his eyes but all you do is smirk at him. "Shame you're such a brat, you look so good on your knees for me." You hum tilting his chin slightly. You lean forward, close enough to feel his heavy breaths against your face. "Goodnight Loki." You whisper. You drag your finger from his chin up his cheek and then turn away, leaving him on his knees on the balcony with more questions than he can answer as you return to the party.

The loud knock on your bedroom door pulls your attention from the show you're watching. You almost don't want to get up but whoever is looking for you seems rather incesent so you roll out of bed and swing open the door to find Loki in the hall.

"Loki? What are you doing here?" You cross your arms and lean against your doorframe.

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Look whatever Tony said to upset you, you can always get him back by calling out that he's a spoiled brat with daddy issues and a lack of self control so embarrassingly pathetic it's a miracle Pepper wants to be within 10 feet of him let alone spend the rest of her life with him." You sigh.

"That was- scathing and rather immediate, do you just spend your free time thinking of nasty things to say?" Loki blinks at you.

"No but I do have an arsenal of harsh comments if ever I need to hurt someone's feelings." You shrug.

"I'll- keep that in mind but this isn't about Anthony Stark." He shakes his head.

"Well, what is it then?"

"Could I- do you mind if come in?" He asks. You poke your head into your room checking for anything you don't want him to see.

"Fine." You say after confirming your room is clean. You open the door fully and let him through the doorway. "What's this about Loki?"

"The party the other night. Do you, remember what we talked about?" Loki asks.

"Well yes but you'll need to be more specific on where this is going."

"I just, I've been thinking about it and I think you're wrong and I'd like to prove it to you."

"Oh this should be good. Wrong about what exactly? Because I think I made myself quite clear. You'll never get the control from me that you seem to think you want." You shrug.

"No that much is obvious. But you said I wasn't your type and I think that's- not true." Loki's brow furrows as he speaks.

"What a shocking turn of events." You hum.

"Do not mock me." He sighs.

"I'm not. You were so insistent you couldn't possibly fit the bill I'm surprised by the turn around."

"Believe me so am I but, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that night. Something about you forcing me to my knees I just- something happened."

"Something happened?" You quirk an eyebrow at him.

"You disarmed me again but- I liked it. I think. And I'd like to try and understand that."

"Say it Loki."

"You said your partners worship you, show me how to do the same." Loki says.

"And you're sure you want this? If you misbehave I can be very mean."

"I'm sure." He nods.

"Then we'll have to discuss some things first. I won't touch you until I've asked some questions." You shake your head.

"Ask me anything."

"How do you feel about restraints?"

"No handcuffs. Ropes are fine."

"How are you with pain?"

"I don't know my limits but I'm not- opposed." He says.

"I'm not going to paddle you or anything darling it's much too soon for any of that but we'll use a stoplight system anyway. I'll check in frequently but at any point you can say yellow if you realize you're reaching a limit or red if you need something to stop. You'll also need a safeword."

"I don't need a safewor-"

"I don't know your limits, you don't even know your limits. It's a nonnegotiable Loki, you need a safeword. Pick one." You say.

"If I must, I'll use another color. Gold."

"Gold?"

"It's easy to say, I wear it a lot, do you think it'll get confusing?"

"Nope. As long as it's something you can remember." You shrug.

"I can remember gold." He says.

"Then gold it is. And Loki?"

"Yes?"

"You must promise me you will use it if you need to." You say.

"I won't need to."

"Don't start with that nonsense." You roll your eyes. "I need to know you'll use it if it comes to that."

"Fine. If it comes to that, I'll use it." He nods.

"Good. Couple more components. Overstimulation and or edging. Where do you fall?"

"I think you underestimate my resilience." He frowns.

"These are things I ask all of my submissives Loki you are not exempt. Not everyone likes the same things. You're lucky I'm not making you fill out my entire questionaire right now. You'll have to do that later." You scoff.

"I have homework already?"

"If you want this to continue after today you will. For now, overstimulation and edging."

"That's fine with me."

"Toys?"

"Can we- hold off on those until we have a longer conversation about it?"

"Absolutely. How do you feel about names? Do you like being called mean things? Are there certain pet names you don't like?"

"When you say mean things-" Loki trails.

"Mean names like slut or whore, I might scold you for 'making a mess', or tease you for being responsive."

"If- you say something that strikes a nerve I'll say so. Otherwise proceed whatever way feels natural." He says.

"Do you have any questions?" You ask.

"No." He shakes his head.

"Well that's the end of the preliminaries."

"So we can start now?"

"You think you're ready?"

"Yes."

"Kneel."

Loki drops to his knees hesitently, looking at you with wide eyes.

"From here on you'll address me as mistress, is that understood?"

"Yes... mistress." Loki says. You can see the wheels turning in his head, trying to decide how he feels about it.

"I know I said this the other night but you really do look so perfect on your knees for me." You hum grabbing his chin. You wrap your fingers around his throat and bend over to kiss him. Loki reacts eagerly to your kiss, leaning up into you as much as you'll allow given your hand still holding his neck. When you pull away his mouth tries to follow yours but you hold him in place. Part of you just wants to look at Loki on his knees for a couple of hours, one day you'll tie him up real pretty and take pictures of him kneeling for you. "You want to learn how to worship me do you?"

"Please mistress." Loki breathes out. God that was hot. You're already thinking of ways to make him beg. You pull your shorts off and Loki's gaze falls to the apex of your thighs, still covered by your underwear, but his tongue darts out to lick his lips.

"Take my underwear off, with your teeth. Just your teeth." You tell him. Loki leans forward and latches onto a corner of your panties with his teeth. It takes him a moment to get the hang of it but you watch as Loki works them over your hips slowly. Once they're off, you thread your fingers through his hair, using the leverage to angle his gaze back up to yours. "Let's see if that silver tongue of yours is good for anything other than those silly retorts of yours hm?" You hum shoving Loki's face towards your pussy. He reacts quickly, tongue lapping at your center with fervor. You tug at his hair, arching towards his mouth, as he works you.

"That's it Loki, keep going." You moan. Loki looks up at you while he seemingly tries out a few patterns, trying to work out what you like best. You pull his hair when he does something you like, enjoying the way he groans when you do. "Wrap your lips around my clit and suck." You tell him. Loki is quick to follow your instructions and it doesn't take long for you to coat his mouth in evidence of your orgasm. You pull his head away from you, petting his head affectionately. "That was a good start. Up. Lay on the bed and take off your shirt." You instruct stepping back. Unsteadily, Loki stands up and walks over to your bed, stripping his shirt before he lays down. His body is stiff, probably since your instruction was vauge.

"Relax Loki. You look so- rigid." You chuckle sitting next to him on the bed. You allow yourself to simply admire his exposed chest, using your fingers to trace the plains and valleys of lean muscle that tense up at your touch. Eventually, you drag your hand down, dancing along the edge of his pants allowing the anticipation to build before you slip your hand beneath his jeans. Over his boxers, you stroke his dick, tracing veins and feeling it's size through his underwear.

"Uh... M-mistress?" He says breathily.

"What is it Loki?" You hum, with your free hand you work his jeans down his legs enough to see what you're doing to him. His grey boxers are already a bit darkened from pre-cum.

"If, if you keep doing that I'm- I'm afraid I'll make a mess of myself rather early." Loki frowns.

"So what?"

"W-well it's it's embarrassing mistress." He says, though little grunts interrupt his words.

"Embarrassing? So you don't want me to touch you?" You ask slowing your movements.

"N-no mistress that's not what, I do, want you to touch me. If that's what you want to do." He scrambles.

"See that's what I thought." You say speeding up again. Loki jerks against your hand low moans filling the room as you watch him react to your touch. You continue to stroke him over his boxers, watching the darkened spot of pre-cum grow ever so slightly bigger. You notice immediately when Loki's hands grip your sheets tightly. He must be getting close. It prompts you to increase your ministrations.

"M-mistress wa-wait stop I, I'm too close- I'll ruin my-" Loki doesn't finish his sentence. A shuddering moan accompanies the visual of his orgasm darkening most of the front of his boxers, wet streaks ruining much of the light grey fabric. There's something you quite enjoy about the sight even as Loki's cheeks tinge pink with shame. "I'm sorry." He mutters.

"Don't apologize. I wanted that to happen. As for the rest of your orgasms you'll have to earn them. You must ask for my permission to cum for the rest of the session. If you cum without my permission there will be consequences. Am I understood?" You grab his chin to make him look at you.

"Yes mistress." Loki says, eyes wide, searching your face, for what you're not sure.

"Good." You say pulling his dick out of his soiled boxers. You lick along the length once, reveling in the hiss Loki lets out no doubt from sensitivity. His previous orgasm makes for plenty of lubricant as you begin stroking him again, slowly. Loki's breaths come out in shudders and you lean over to place kisses and hickeys along his throat. Each bloom of red along his neck and chest pulls sweet moans from him until the sensitivity wears off. Soon, surprisingly soon, you see him grab the sheets again.

"Mistress I, I'm close-"

"So soon? Wow." You taunt.

"Can I cum mistress?"

"But before you didn't want to. Remember? You even asked me to stop." You slow down, almost stopping.

"No nonono that was- that was different I didn't mean it that way-" he seems to give up on his defense in favor of a groan at the sudden decrease in stimulation.

"Well, I was so kind in giving you the first one and you didn't even thank me. So you'll have to really convince me you want another." You shrug when his harsh breathing slows a bit you pick up the pace of your strokes again. When Loki grips the sheets you slow down again and when the tension dissipates you pick up. You do this three or four more times before Loki's moans start to transform in to pathetic sounding whines, his chest is red, his knuckles are white, and his dick is throbbing in your hand.

"Please- mistress." Loki pants.

"Please what baby boy?"

"I can't- I can't do it. I need to cum, I need to, please. Please mistress."

"You need to?"

"Please! Please mistress. Please let me cum. Oh god I need you to. Please." Loki's begging is boarderline hysteric, he's trembling and half of his words come out as moans.

"I do love to hear you beg."

"Please!" He whines out.

"Oo that was a good one. Very well, go ahead and let go for me sweetheart." You say sweetly, stroking faster to help him along. A few pumps later and he's spilling onto himself and your hand with a cry that makes your walls clench around nothing. You continue stroking him through it and even after he's coming down. You wonder if you can't pull one more from him. Loki jolts against your touch, scrambling as if to escape it but unable to go anywhere really.

"G-g-gold! Gold. I can't. Please." Loki pants out.

"Hands up." You say as you do exactly that. "Sorry Lo I- guess I got carried away. I'll get a towel for you." You get off the bed and grab a towel, wetting one side to clean him off and using the other to dry him after. You hand him an extra blanket after. "Give yourself some time to recoup okay?"

"You're cruel."

"I wasn't trying to be. You just- fell into your role so well. I told you I'm not easy. But I'll remember you're still new to this and be sure to treat you gently in the future. Mr. you underestimate my resillience."

"I can handle it."

"With time I'm sure. No rush now." You shrug.

"Wait- don't go anywhere please." Loki grabs your wrist.

"You need water honey."

"Later." Loki tugs hard enough to pull you into the bed next to him. You sigh and wrap your arms around him, playing with his hair gently. Loki will make for one interesting submissive if he decides this is something he wants long term. You'll have your work cut out for you, but maybe he's better suited for this than you think. Only time will tell I suppose.

***

[agendabymooner]

SOMETHING DIVINE !!! TOTO W. X FEM!READER (18+)

summary: toto shows his appreciation for his pregnant wife. (part two-ish of something intoxicating)

💌 re:moony's planner request: "reader actually getting pregnant after toto fucked her out after a long neglect and him being really exited for this chapter in their life."

content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), use of explicit language, insecurities, pregnant!reader, body worship, breeding/impregnation kink, creampie, i did not proofread this lol

note: i am not sure if this was meant to be a fluff or a smut request so i decided to 🤷‍♀️ make it a smut 🤷‍♀️ enjoy xx (also! please don't hesitate to give me your opinion!!!)

something sinful (smut) masterlist

a - n masterlist // o - z masterlist

if you’d like to get on one of my taglists, check this post out

he didn’t think that she could get any sexier than she was before. but alas. 

here she was: her figure, her sweet sweet figure, had a small protrusion on her stomach that indicated a sign of life within her. she was the most attractive woman to have ever existed, and, when they learned that they were expecting, there was a growing sense of protection and primal desire within toto that he couldn’t even explain.

he couldn’t help it; his cock wouldn’t stop from making itself hard after looking at her body. she was growing a life, for fucks sake— and she was doing so in the most amazing way possible. it was making toto hornier than usual. 

but she wasn’t aware of it. in fact, she often voiced out how her skin continued to stretch and showed marks as the baby progressively grew.

her insecurities, ones that continued to grow as much as her baby did, were something she hid away from toto. she didn’t want to make them a big deal considering that he was already stressed enough during this season.

she often spoke to lewis’ physiologist, angela, about this kind of matter and hadn’t approached anyone else as she continued to spend her time at the paddock. if anyone else knew— they’d immediately tell toto. that would mean that she was burdening her husband with this matter. 

toto hadn’t meant to walk in the conversation, but he couldn’t find himself to refrain from listening when she and angela spoke while in the garage.

“the baby’s growing real fast,” angela told the woman with fascination, “i reckon he’d have long legs like his daddy.”

and instead of offering a happy laugh, the woman let out a small pitiful chuckle as angela then asked, “oh no. don’t tell me—?”

toto’s wife sighed, “i dunno. i’m supposed to be happy— and i am! ‘s just—“ she placed her hand over the stomach and rubbed the bulge soothingly. she continued, “i don’t feel like this is me. my body— dunno. it’s silly, don’t you think?” 

“it’s not,” angela reassured the woman. “it’s normal to feel that way. you have to understand that your body is growing a baby and that they require a little more space than food usually does.” 

“i shouldn’t feel bad,” the woman said with a solemn smile, “i’m very excited, really. this is my first kid— this is toto’s first kid. but at the same time i feel like i’d lose his attention the moment this kid pops out and i don’t have the body i used to—“

“hey, hey!” angela gave the woman a warning look, “enough with that. you look absolutely divine— toto would be stupid if he doesn’t appreciate your body and what it’s doing for his son.” 

toto stood behind the door and continued listening. he wasn’t sure if he was upset at his wife for not coming to him sooner to talk about her feelings. but he was certain that he was upset at her for thinking that she wasn’t worth being appreciated because of her body. 

he had to do something. he could still do something as a loving and appreciative partner while she did all the hard work. 

and that’s what he did. he couldn’t help himself when she came out of the bathroom with nothing but a slip dress on that night. the way her silk nightwear accentuated her curves made toto’s cock twitch in his trousers. 

he couldn’t help but sink down to devour every part of her. at first, she wondered what prompted him to act like this— to act so… primal and overly worshipful. but as soon as his mouth attached itself to her tender skin and fragile figure she was long gone, a gasp escaping her lips while she begged for him.

and who was he to deny his pretty, fragile wife? he would be damned if he hadn’t done anything to make her feel loved— he’d give her the world, should she demand it. 

she whimpered quietly as toto thrusted into her cunt gently, her eyes close to tearing up because of how toto treated her like she’s bound to break at some point. 

his hands travelled down her body as he groaned softly, rhythms of his hips slapping against hers were adagio as toto’s thumbs played with her stiff nipples. he hummed, “so eine hübsche frau.” such a pretty wife.

“you should see yourself, schatz,” he growled, his cock bottoming out in her as she let out a loud moan. “you’re growing my baby— our baby. haven’t seen something so beautiful before. fuuuck~ you are so sexy, it makes me want to fuck more babies into you.”

she sobbed desperately, “ngh~ i- toto.” her heels dug into his hips harder as she lifted her hips up to meet his halfway through. “want you.”

“‘m here, liebling,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead as his pace turned up to presto as they both let out endless sounds of pleasure. the tip of his cock reaching her cervix as he began pounding into her relentlessly.

“please fuck me harder,” she begged. “wan’ you to fuck me.”

“i will,” he shushed her, “but i can’t help it. this body of yours- fuck- makes me want to take it slower. you’re so beautiful like this- all pregnant with my baby.” he nipped on her tits as he hummed in satisfaction.

“makes me want to give you more after this one comes out,” he said darkly, kissing her hard as he began to fuck her harder. “gonna give you more and make sure these tits are full of milk.”

“mm, fuck- toto~” she cried out, feeling too overwhelmed by the pleasure and excitement she had gotten out of his words and his actions. 

her cunt clenched around his cock as he chuckled sweetly and said, “oh? you want more kids then? you want to be my pregnant little wife full of my babies?” 

she only nodded frantically. toto continued to fuck her until a loud strangled noise escaped her lips.

“o- oh, fuck. ‘m cumming,” she announced, holding him closer as his thrusts became harder and faster as they both reached their highs. 

“god— fucking hell, schatz,” he muttered hastily, groaning deeply in her ear as he said, “i’m gonna cum. where do you want me?”

“i- inside, toto- fuck!” she cried out, her body shaking as her walls throbbed around him. “cum inside me, please!”

toto’s hips stuttered for a brief moment as he let out a groan, shooting his cum inside her cunt as he thrusted slowly before stilling.

with a breathless sigh, he slowly pulled out of her and watched his cum escape her hole and drip down the mattress beneath her. he looked at her fucked out face lovingly as he gave her another kiss. 

god she really was fucking divine. he wouldn’t be surprised if she was pregnant again shortly after giving birth to their firstborn. 

♡ moony’s reminder 🅶 (general): @hiraethrhapsody @avaleineandafryingpan @topguncultleader @enhacolor @roseandtulips @woweewoowa @magnummagnussen @happy-nico @architect-2015

♡   moony’s reminder 🅴 (explicit edition): @glitterf1 @savrose129

[scaracake]

'take me home' in which the crusaders take care of you while you're sick! note: completely self-indulgent. fluffy sick comfort ,slight crack ,ooc chara(?) dunno ,reader is jotaro's sister (jotaro is referred to as older but wrote w the idea of them being twins (at least 18)/similar in age... minimal phys desc. so reader can also be seen as adopted LOL) ,heavy polnareff x reader coded ,clingy!sick reader LOL ,reader is short (lol) ,some japanese terms used (written in eng) ,french terms of endearment ,light cursing... i think thats everything lol.. :X i also realized a lil too late iggy isnt in here but i promise u he's in another draft for something else i started i could never forget him!!!!

'why me?'

you crack your eyes open to the sun peeking through the inn's room window. you immediately notice your throat feeling sore, sniffling nose uncomfortably stuffy, and fatigue enveloping your entire body.

why was it so hot?

you kick off the covers, finding your strength to roll over in an attempt to get out a bed, only pausing when you feel a looming headache clouding your senses.

you sit on the edge of the bed, holding your head in your hands for a few minutes in an attempt to seize the pain, even if only slightly. when nothing seems to change, you get up, stumbling a bit from sudden dizziness before deciding to get yourself ready for the day.

should i go wake jotaro to let him know i'm not feeling well?

the thought leaves you quickly, all too aware of the time crunch you all were on, and you weren't about to slow down the journey in favor of you getting better. who knows how long that might take?

so, despite the way you have to hold onto the bedframe to keep your balance as you change, the way your skin feels like its bursting into flames, wincing in pain every time you swallow and the way your head is throbbing in the worst way possible: you persevere.

does the inn sell medicine anywhere? maybe i can buy some before anyone sees me, and then meet up with them in the dining room later. i'm usually one of the last ones, so it shouldn't be too strange...

with this plan in mind, you check yourself one last time in the mirror before stumbling out of your room, shutting the door with a click.

-

"ah, bonjour, mademoiselle! what a coincidence we're up at the same time, huh?"

polnareff felt so lucky.

were the gods smiling down at him today? had he done something incredibly noteworthy? it didn't look like any of the others were around yet, either.

polnareff getting to spend the morning alone with you????

'score!'

on the other hand....

you freeze.

'of all times-!'

considering your soft spot for the sweet french man (despite never admitting it, convinced it was one-sided), you hardly wished for him to see you in your current state.

however, you weren't about to turn him away (anyway, its not like you two got much one-on-one time on this hectic journey), and so you decide to face him before mustering up a small smile and a wave.

with or without realizing it, polnareff is absolutely beaming at you, eyes practically filled with hearts and his cheeks flushing a light pink, just from a little greeting? you didn't even speak!

he thinks you look so beautiful, like always, and he's thanking the heavens above for being the first one to see you like this today.

he quickly regains his senses before closing the short distance, standing before you.

his smile is dazzling, and he looks as attractive as always today... you hope your appearance looks presentable enough in this state.

"i was just about to make my way to the dining room, i'm starving! care to accompany me, mon mignon?"

you feel your heart race, as it usually does when he casually calls you by names like that. you still aren't sure why he does, but the crusaders always shoot you a knowing look: when you ask, they don't say anything.

realistically, you could probably say no, sneak away to search for that medicine, and then make your way back to find polnareff in the dining room, munching away at whatever suit his cravings before joining him.

on the other hand, polnareff was strangely attentive to you (something that the other crusaders pointed out more times than not, and that polnareff never once denied but rather avoided the accusation), leaving the possibility of him insisting to accompany you wherever you wished to go, no matter how hungry he might be.

indeed, he'd follow you to the ends of the earth if that was your wish, but you didn't need to know that yet.

so, you're left with simply giving him a small nod, following him sluggishly to the elevator as you allow him to talk your ear off about anything that comes to mind as you try to think of another moment to slip away to attain some medicine.

-

since it was still early, the elevator was occupied by only you two. polnareff filled the silence as he continued recalling the last enemy stand fight, and how they were "no match" for his chariot.

polnareff was so animated in his storytelling. he hoped he might impress you with recalling how strong his stand was and, by extension, him.

though, he did think you seemed a little quieter than usual today, but chalked it up to you simply still being tired.

you nodded along as he spoke, smiling at his dramatics when the elevator shook slightly. it didn't help your dizzy state, easily losing your balance and falling right into the man in front of you.

without any struggle, he caught you with ease.

"woah! mon ange, are you alright? i didn't expect you to stumble into me like that!" polnareff was holding you so securely yet gently, one hand on your upper left arm just below your shoulders, the other gently against your waist, looking down at you to quickly scan your face.

he couldn't help but take in the details of your face at this proximity, noticing the dazed look in your droopy-looking eyes, your shallow breaths, your flushed face, and was your skin warmer than usual?

your eyes shift up to meet his, bashful at the proximity before giving a curt nod. "sorry.." you mutter, shifting your gaze away from his dazzling eyes, unable to handle the intense eye contact for much longer.

"chérie, are you-"

ding!

polnareff is interrupted by the elevator doors as they open for you both.

he quickly releases you, muttering a short apology in his native tongue before stepping out first, turning back to make sure you're following close behind.

still feeling the dizziness, you stumble out after him, subconsciously gripping onto his shirt to keep your balance.

'he's so warm...'

you miss the way the silver-haired man's face practically bursts into flames, red hue matching that of his earrings.

"y-y/n-"

"sorry.. i'm still a little dizzy.... don't leave me behind, you walk too fast.."

. . .

'how can someone be this cute?!?!??!'

aside from the fact that polnareff's heart feels like its about to burst, he can't help but notice the fact that 1) he wasn't walking any faster than he normally did, it was actually you that seemed to be walking slower, and 2) he couldn't tell from the brief responses you gave before, but now, he was sure your voice sounded different than usual.

(additionally, he thought, there was no way in hell he'd ever leave you behind anywhere, accident or not. was that really something you were worried about?)

somehow, he slips the hand that was gripping his top into his own, giving it a firm squeeze before offering a triumphant look back to you.

"i-in that case, don't you think this is better, mon ange? th-this way, there's no way you'll be separated from me on the way to the dining room, right?"

you hum, satisfied. his hand is so warm.

he turns towards the direction of the dining room, hiding his red face, hoping his hand doesn't start to sweat as he begins to guide you.

"w-well then, let's go get some food!"

-

no sooner than later, you both arrived to the dining room, finding a table for six to wait at until the rest of the crusaders came down to join you.

"hmmm, it looks like the others aren't down yet. ah, let me get that for you, mon cœur."

polnareff releases your hand in favor of pulling out your chair for you, pushing it in once you're comfortable before taking the seat to your left.

he orders waters for you both to start before you have his full attention.

even the short trip from the room a couple of stories up to the dining room felt tiring, and you took this moment to momentarily shut your eyes and rest in your seat.

polnareff notices your head hanging slightly, as if it's too heavy for you to hold up yourself.

"here, y-you can rest on me," he practically whispers.

he scoots his chair closer to yours, reaching out a hand behind your head, hesitating for a moment in case you decide to pull away before gently leaning you onto his shoulder.

"are you feeling alright today, mon mignon?"

his voice comes out much softer than his usual loud tone that you almost think you only imagined his concern.

you crack open your eyes to meet his, polnareff's face holding pure concern for you.

"mhm," you nod with a hum.

polnareff gives you a hard look, obviously unconvinced. you quickly grow shy under his stare, gaze shifting to your lap.

"you know, you're a pretty bad liar, m'amour~"

despite his words, he says this fondly, resting his chin in his hand, his gaze never leaving you.

you don't answer, fidgeting with your hands.

"let's see.."

he begins reaching the back of his hand out towards your forehead in an attempt to check your temperature when a voice interrupts the moment.

"goodmorning polnareff, y/n-san."

polnareff recoils his hand as kakyoin makes his way to join you two at the table.

damn.. he thought you two would have some more time together.

you look up, smiling at kakyoin, sparing a small wave before closing your eyes once again.

kakyoin takes the seat to your right, raising an eyebrow at your arrangement before shooting a smirk towards the now-blushing french man.

"oh? polnareff... didn't expect you to be so bold."

"a-ah! kakyoin," his gaze shoots around the room, quickly thinking up an excuse at kakyoin's knowing stare. "doesn't the mademoiselle seem out of it today?"

"polnareff!"

despite the bluntness of polnareff's words, upon closer inspection, kakyoin concludes that you do seem to be less energetic than usual, as you're visibly very fatigued.

"is y/n-chan not just tired? it is quite early for them, isn't it?"

polnareff is quick to refute, having taken a closer look at you himself.

"that's-"

"goodmorning you three, you're up early!"

joseph's voice rings out to you three, avdol and jotaro in tow behind him.

kakyoin gestures at you with his eyes before shifting them to the group and back, silently telling polnareff to do something before jotaro or joseph see.

polnareff is quick to gently move your head from his shoulder to the back of your chair, seemingly before anyone else sees.

avdol and jotaro greet you three before they take their seats while joseph comes up behind your chair, beaming down at you before beginning to pat your head.

you wince at the unexpected contact before realizing who it was, quickly sinking into the familiar feeling.

"goodmorning my beautiful granddaughter! did you sleep well? you're up early today, aren't you?"

without opening your eyes, you greet him back with a short "morning, jii-san," still feeling dazed.

"did you order anything yet? you can get anything you like, however much you like, you know?"

his favoritism is really showing.... was the shared thought between the crusaders at joseph's usual cooing.

"sit down already, old man," jotaro scolds, arms folded across his chest.

joseph huffs out a breath before he retracts his hand, making his way to the last seat between kakyoin and jotaro.

polnareff opens his mouth to speak only to be interrupted once more by a waitress coming by to take everyone's orders.

maybe it's best to bring it up later.. i'll just keep an eye on her for now polnareff thought to himself.

once she leaves, everyone engages in small talk, occasionally asking you something or trying to bring you into the conversation.

as much as you usually enjoy chatting with everyone, you're much too distracted. your skin is hot to the touch, yet the dining room is somehow so cold, you keep taking sips of your water in hopes of it soothing your throat, and your head is throbbing, entire body almost begging you to just get back into bed.

because of this, your answers come out short, or you seem to space out of the conversations.

this isn't something that the crusaders don't take notice to, but most chalk it up to you still being sleepy, and simply decide to leave you be.

-

'she doesn't seem to be looking any better...' polnareff frowns at your state, fighting an internal battle trying to decide if he should inquire about your health here and now, or if he was simply overthinking it.

as you're resting, you unconsciously shiver, something your brother jotaro doesn't fail to notice amongst the chatter and laughter at the table.

he mutters his signature "good grief" before standing up to toss his jacket over you before promptly returning to his seat.

you jump at the sudden weight, looking straight across the table at your brother right as he retakes his seat.

you mouth a quick "thank you, nii-chan" readjusting the oversized jacket comfortably, only now realizing how you were shivering.

jotaro only clicks his tongue in return.

despite this, he keeps his attention on you, having sensed something being off with you from the moment he saw you.

(not to mention polnareff's inability to keep his eyes off of you for ten seconds at a time. even if that was the usual case with him, something was different about it this time, like he was concerned about something. as your big brother, he decided to watch you for the time being).

polnareff watched the exchange, wishing he had a jacket that he could wrap around you. he would've loved to wrap his arms around you instead, but no way was he about to do that in front of everyone, much less in front of joseph and jotaro, lest he be restrained by hermit purple and pummeled half to death by star platinum.

. . .

yeah, absolutely not.

just as he shudders at the thought the meals arrive.

"ah, that looks good! bon appetit~"

you nod, picking up your utensils, hoping that having something in your system will improve your state in some way.

-

"y/n-chan, are you not feeling hungry today?"

avdol's inquiry catches the crusader's attention, everyone's eyes shifting to your half-full plate.

you take a peek at everyone else's plates, either empty or almost there, before shaking your head, reaching for your water cup to down the rest of it.

you couldn't bring yourself to eat much more than a couple of bites, only trying for more as to not worry everyone (though, you usually loved to eat to your heart's content, so even seeing you only eat so much has them concerned, something you didn't consider. who knew they were so attentive towards you?)

you pull jotaro's jacket tighter around you. all you want is to lie down in the thick comforter of the inn bed once more, go back to sleep, and hope that that's the remedy for your annoying sickness.

speaking of, even after eating, you don't feel any better. your headache is still ongoing, dizziness lingering so much so that the room is lightly spinning, your throat hurts no matter how much water you've had, and despite your brother's jacket, you still feel so damn cold!

unbeknownst to you, jotaro and polnareff give you a concerned look, noting how cold you seem to be despite being wrapped in such a large jacket. were you breaking out in a cold sweat?

joseph stares at your unfinished plate for a few lingering moments, humming in thought before speaking up.

"well, if everyone's finished, let's get going shall we?"

as everyone begins to get up from their seats, polnareff is quick to get your chair for you again, holding a hand out for you to take.

"allow me, mademoiselle~"

you crack a smile at his antics, standing up before the lingering dizziness takes over completely. the noise around you begins to merge until it fades to nothing at all, and the next thing you know, you're flush against something warm, your consciousness slowly slipping away.

"woah! y-y/n? Y/N! hey, she passed out!!!!"

even through his panic, polnareff acts quickly, catching your now limp body, cradling you securely against his chest.

at polnareff's cries, the rest of the crusaders quickly shift their attention to you two, everyone quickly growing alarmed at your sudden unconscious state.

"Y/N!"

"damn! you really were... you idiot..." mutters jotaro as he quickly makes his way over.

"OH MY GOD-! is she okay??? what happened?? was it something she ate? why didn't she say anything?!??"

no one can keep up with joseph's questions as he checks over you for himself, frustrated and panicked at the same time.

polnareff shifts you in his hold, bringing the back of his hand up to your forehead.

"damn, she's burning up! she really is sick..."

"what should we do, joestar-san? is there anyway i can help?" kakyoin is quick to offer his services in whatever way he can.

"jotaro, kakyoin, go find some place to get medicine for her. avdol, polnareff, take her back to one of the rooms, there's still time until we have to check out. i'll try to get ahold of one of the doctor's to ensure it's nothing serious."

"right. let's go, kakyoin," jotaro gestured to said man, walking off in the direction of the pharmacy.

"we'll be back soon!" kakyoin called, following right beside him.

"come on polnareff, we should get her into bed as soon as possible so she may rest."

"right!"

"take care of her... she's my precious granddaughter!"

even though joseph meant this in a serious way, it still somehow managed to come out in a sulking manner.

"we promise we will, joestar-san," avdol assured. "let's go, polnareff!"

"i swear i will," polnareff nodded, serious expression on his face before he made his way to the elevator with avdol.

polnareff kept hold of you close to his chest, heart pounding in anticipation for the elevator to arrive at the correct floor.

"did she tell you she wasn't feeling well, polnareff?" avdol broke the silence.

polnareff looked up, a guilty expression on his face. "she didn't.. but she did seem off today. i guessed she maybe wasn't feeling well at the table, but i didn't say anything..." he trailed off, regretful.

"perhaps she did not want us to worry, though, her actions were in vain, considering how everyone is scattered like rats now," avdol offered a smile to polnareff.

"so don't beat yourself up over it. i doubt she wanted to look weak, especially in front of you."

polnareff's face tinted pink, eyebrows raising in surprise. "hey, what do you mea-"

ding!

"come now, let's get her to the room, shall we?"

avdol steps out first, polnareff following close after, sparing a look at you in his arms.

'please be okay, y/n....'

-

"..doesn't seem to be serious.... weather change...."

"what a relief......"

"joestar-san, we found medicine!"

"hey, dont wake her-!"

"good grief..."

you stirred from your slumber, cracking your eyes open to see polnareff's worried expression focused on you.

he stood from where he was sat beside the bed, expression immediately brightening.

"hey, she's awake!"

you sit up slightly in your spot, taking a look around the room to see the rest of the crusaders seated around the bed you're resting in.

"ahhh, goodmorning again! it really was too early of a morning for you, hm?" joseph jokes, reaching a hand out to pat your head once more.

jotaro adjusted his hat, giving you a pointed look.

"geez, you're such a troublemaker, you know that? why didn't you just say something... dumbass."

"jotaro! be nice to your sister!"

"i'm sorry for worrying you all-" a short coughing fit interrupts your words, causing polnareff to gently pat your back to help you until it stops.

"i didn't want to hold us back, and i thought it wasn't that serious. i'm really sorry..."

the apology comes out as almost a whisper considering your sore throat, but it's enough to melt everyone's hearts as they're quick to forgive you.

"good grief..." jotaro mutters.

"don't listen to him, he was the most worried, you know?" joseph teases, continuing his patting.

"says you, old man. you're the one that was barking out demands at everyone, pestering the doctor just trying to do their job."

joseph retracts his hand in favor of pointing it at jotaro.

"why you-!"

you laugh at their bickering before kakyoin intervenes, attention completely on you.

"y/n-chan, it's such a relief you're alright. here, we have some medicine for you. it's supposed to work quite quick, and since you've already eaten something, i recommend you take it right away!"

you nod, thanking him sincerely.

you just begin to realize that you're no longer in jotaro's jacket (as he's wearing it once again), but that you're still incredibly warm before avdol quickly pipes up.

"are you warm enough? i had magician's red warm the blankets for you since you were shivering so much in your sleep."

you nod, thanking him too, before shifting your attention back to polnareff, who had retaken his seat: the one closest to you.

"you really worried me, you know? of course, it's a knight's job to protect the princess, but i didn't expect you to collapse into my arms like that! give a guy a warning next time, will you??"

despite his teasing, his eyes are darting around, and you can see what you think is a hint of a blush covering his cheeks- you're sure your own face is flushed by his words.

you're not sure if it's because of his heartfelt words, his bashful expression, or your sick-dazen state (maybe all of the above) but you reach out your arms to hug his left arm that's closest to you.

"Y-Y/N- wha- that's-"

"'m sorry, jean.... didn't mean to scare you so much..." you mutter, practically nuzzling into his arm, disregarding the others in the room.

his heart feels like its running a hundred miles a minute, and he doesn't think he'll ever get over how his name sounds spoken from your lips (even with your cracked voice).

as much as he loves you clinging to him like this, he can't help but fear for his life when jotaro and joseph are in the same room with him.

"h-he-hey! you must reaaaally be out of it. ka-kakyoin give her- hey, quit laughing! gi-give her the medicine, will you??!"

kakyoin stifles his laughter, quickly handing him a small plastic cup with the orange liquid at the correct measurement.

"here, i've already filled it up for you, y/n-chan. you just have to take it now."

your nose wrinkles at the smell alone, quickly tucking your head back into polnareff's arm and away from the medicine in kakyoin's outstretched hand.

"jeez, you're such a child," jotaro rolls his eyes at your reluctance. "i'll make you drink it if i have to."

joseph takes the cup with a proud "watch this, this always worked on my holly!" before holding it out to you.

"y/n~ if you drink this for jii-san, i'll buy you anything you like, okay?"

you turn back, give the medicine in his hand one single glance before shaking your head, hugging polnareff's arm closer to your chest.

joseph's triumphant smile quickly drops.

"WHAT??!?!"

"that sure worked like a charm," jotaro jokes.

"hey polnareff, why don't you try offering it to her?"

avdol suggests this with a playful smile on his face, almost as if he knew that it would work, but simply framed the tactic as a suggestion.

polnareff, still flustered, only nods, taking the medicine cup from a (pouting) joseph before lightly shaking his left arm to get your attention.

"come mon ange, i know this medicine doesn't ever taste good, but it's the only way to help you get better," he whispers.

you give a slow nod, and he's confident that he's got you.

"oui oui, that's it. i'll even..." he takes a side glance to the rest of the crusaders, eyes all locked on you two.

"i'll even help you. ready?"

you pick up your head, raising your lips to the small cup. polnareff tilts the liquid into your anticipating mouth, and you squeeze your eyes shut once the flavor hits your tongue.

in no time at all, the cup is empty, and you're reaching for a cup of water that was left at your bedside (something that polnareff left for you when you woke up, ready to ensure you'd be hydrated) which polnareff gets for you, trickling the water into your mouth slowly to ensure nothing would spill.

when you gestured you had enough, polnareff retracted the cup, swiping a thumb over your lips to dry them before placing the cup back on the bedside table.

". . ."

the crusaders almost felt like they had intruded on something that they shouldn't have.

the first one to say something was joseph, who was gawking at the entire exchange.

"OH-MY-GOD-!!!!!!!!"

polnareff jumped at joseph's cry.

"joestar-san-!"

"joestar-san, quiet down, she may still have a headache!" kakyoin gently scolds.

"calm down, old man," jotaro states plainly. "she took the medicine, right?"

avdol couldn't hold in his laughter, sending a wink towards polnareff, who quickly looked down at you, seemingly unbothered by your grandfather's antics.

you watch the chaos unfold, grateful to have everyone by your side like this.

"how long are we staying here?" you piped up, causing the commotion to momentarily seize.

joseph checked his watch before speaking up.

"hmm, we still have a couple of hours until we need to check out. take that time to rest up all that you can. by the time we leave, you'll have to take more medicine. if you're still too weak, one of us will have to carry you, alright?"

you nodded, "ok, jii-san."

"oooh that's it. now, you just be a good girl and rest up for the time being, ok?"

you nod again before looking back to polnareff.

"you're going to stay here, right?"

polnareff has always been weak to your charms, but something about you asking him to stay with that wide-eyed dazed look, your cute flushed face, your pursed pink lips-

it makes him almost completely fall at your mercy.

"of c-"

"hmm? will you, polnareff? are you sure you don't have anything more important to do? i'm completely capable of-"

"oh shut it, old man. she wants him to stay, he'll stay. i'll drag you out of here myself if i have to."

"JOTARO! you can't be serious!!! you're really okay with this???!"

"it doesn't matter to me," he trails off.

"but jotaro-!"

you're still looking up at polnareff expectantly, and he can't bare the thought of saying no to you.

"o-of course i'll stay. if that's what you want..." he replies bashfully.

he looks back to see both joseph and jotaro giving him a hard look.

did he say something wrong?!??!

"no funny business, yeah? she's sick-"

"what do you take me for?!??!"

"just make sure she's okay... let us know of any changes," jotaro says, giving polnareff a stern look. "that's my sister, ya know? wouldn't want anything unfortunate happening to the brat."

"of course, i'll let you know right away!" polnareff says a little louder than intended, hoping to earn both men's trust.

why do you have to have such scary relatives, mon coeur?!?!?

joseph lets out one last grunt before he steps out of the room, jotaro following after him.

"we'll be taking our leave to. i'll come back to check on her later, but if you need anything, i'll get it for you."

"kakyoin! you're the best, i appreciate it, really!"

kakyoin smiles before stepping out, back to his and jotaro's shared room.

avdol smiles knowingly at polnareff before speaking up.

"i almost thought i was watching a romance movie, with the way you fed her there."

"avdol!!!"

he chuckles, standing up and making his way out of the room.

"if she's cold again, let me know, and i'll bring out magician's red again. though, she seems... quite cozy for now, so i'm not too sure that will be necessary," he winks.

"avdol-!"

"see you lovebirds later," he waves before closing the door.

polnareff let's out a sigh, looking down at you, already having dozed off, still clutching onto his arm.

'what am i going to do with you, mon trésor?'

-

later, when it's finally time to check out, you're lightly shaken awake to get your next dose of medicine before polnareff offers you a ride on his back, gently settling you before you rest once more. because of this, you miss the way he's blushing hard, all too aware of your soft, warm body so close to his, and you miss the looks that your brother and joseph shoot at him, ensuring that he's holding you securely. the crusaders talk about their next stop while polnareff is lost in his thoughts.

he decides that, once you're feeling better, he ought to be honest with you and confess his feelings properly. for now, he'll continue to do everything that he can to help you feel better, and to keep you extra safe until then.

-

a/n: omg i actually wrote something lol.... wanted to write something w polnareff for awhile n i was sick recently so in that state i wrote this up LOL.... feel like i don't see a surplus off jjba x reader on here ,so i also wanted to write something myself hehe... hopefully it came out well? i was originally just gonna do short hc's but then this happened.... editing this drove me insane LOL. tbh im only on pt4 of jojos ,but still hoping to write more in the future :P my only concern is the french petnames.... i searched up a list for ideas but from my memory, i remember the mon/ma but the list i found only had "mon" for some pet names n both options for the other ,so that's why there's both. otherwise, i hope it came out well n if anyone reads it ,thanks lol~

[yoinkschief]

I remember watching this one movie called Us by Jordan Peele

What if the eddsworld lads were dropped in this universe lol

It's actually so funny that you ask that cause I just finished watching that movie after my friends recommended it to me !!!

The easy answer would be haha Spares ! And they just kill them all ofc, but I think thinking about it in the setting of Us is the best way to go about this,,,

To me I immediately go to character 1-to-1s, like who would be which character in the movie, yk ?

I think Edd would be Adelaide, I mean cause duh main characters, but also they just,,,, I dunno something about them fits, I think it's cause to me they both have that same instinct of wanting to protect everyone themselves but also holding all responsibility on their shoulders and not letting anyone else feel that weight if that makes sense (This is just a personal HC for Edd, but I think Adelaide might genuinely feel this way, at least in some regard, seeing as she hadn't told Gabe about her fears with Santa Cruz's beach until the movie, which sure could be for plot reasons but I don't see why she wouldn't have told him way sooner since they've been to the beach house before if it wasn't because she was scared to let him hear that cause he'd think she's crazy, yk, keeping all the "burden" to herself)

I think Tom would be Gabe, because I mean fucking look at them, goofy ass dads the both of them I mean it's perfect it fits something something TomEdd propaganda

Matt would be Zora in an odd sense,, I dunno him and Tord's character placements are a little flimsy to be fair,,, honestly I have Tord as Jason cause he's a little shit who loves fire

Also I'm mostly doing this because I would LOVE to see Eduardo and Jon as Kitty and Josh,,, I think Kitty would be Eduardo and Josh would be Jon, and I know a lot of people aren't going to agree with that but I see it with the times Kitty turns to Adelaide and is just like "I think about killing him sometimes" like as a joke obviously cause haha ball and chain, but also mostly because of the scene where Kitty's on the balcony and telling Josh to go and look outside since she heard something

and there's another reason why but it's cruel and would have minor spoilers for the movie

As for who's Becca and Lindsey I don't care I hate them bitches Mark can be both he's blonde enough for it

BUTTT thinking about this in a more "The boys but their next shenanigan is Us" it changes a bit

(WARNING: SPOILERS BEYOND THIS)

Leaning more into that whole "haha, Spares!" moment but mostly just for Bing and Larry cause they totally fucking would be the type to create soulless copies like that I mean they already fucking did and I will never forgive them from throwing Scribble Tom in the reject room he deserves to be free

But also imo if we're going down this route I think it would be better to have Tord as Adelaide with the whole leaving and coming back bit he did, I think it would be a great way to incorporate the twist if ykwim I don't wanna outright spoil anything yk but I think that would be the extent of like the one-to-one comparisons with the main cast versus eddsworld casting since everyone else has pretty different personalities

But they wouldn't hesitate to not give a damn and just kill every doppelganger they came across, I think the neighbors would still get killed but they'd show up in the next eddisode like nothing happened, and I think Edd would know about the whole twist at the end,,, kinda like how some people speculate Jason does :ppp

[freebooter4ever]

does anyone else have tropes in their own writing that would only make sense to them? if you've ever read multiple fics of mine and come across any background character named 'janet' or any character whose name starts with a 'j' or is similar to that - those are all the same character. Its this weird obsession of mine - to put real life people into my fanfic. And each 'janet' is a new version of my great aunt janet who was, to put it kindly, a holy terror. She was mean to everyone, she hated children (though she tolerated me because i silently did everything she told me to and would help her shell peas on the farm when we visited), and she died old and alone. But her life was pretty sad too - she grew up when women weren't educated much, and she never married and instead of living her own life was left by her older brothers as the caretaker of their mother, basically until the day she died. So in my stories all my 'janet's lead beautifully full and happy lives with lots of friends. None of the main plots are about janet, obviously, but if i need a side character i just plop her in there and invent a better life for her than the one she was stuck with.

I do this with grandma too. If there's a random little old lady in my fic it's probably based on grandma. The most popular being Eleanor from DOA. I even wrote a short story about an old woman who knits and spins her own yarn, and pricks her finger on the spinning wheel to become a superhero and save her suburbs from aliens, but instead of fighting the aliens ends up befriending them and adopts them as a sort of alien cat breed. It was entirely based on grandma jojo, who -if you think my insecurities are bad - is even worse when it comes to believing she can do anything. She doesn't think she can do anything right, so she never wants to do anything because she knows she won't do it well. This baffled grandpa jojo, who used to try to teach her about airplanes and rockets and wanted her to go to college. And this equally baffled me my whole life - when i was really little i apparently wouldnt let her just sit beside me, i made her draw too. So all my stories feature larger than life superhero grandma characters.

And lavender - this is one people have caught me on, lol. Because I use it every chance I get. Grandma callyerdogsoff was a poet and an artist herself, but writing her into stories as a character feels impossible. So instead i use her signature scent. She died in 2010 but sometimes if i think about her i can still smell lavender.

People belittle fangirls, fanfic, and fanartists and say this stuff isn't worth anything compared to 'real' creative work but. I dunno. There's so much more to it than people imagine. I know none of my writing will last beyond my lifetime, and that none of these little tropes will be teased out of it like in english lit class. So whats the harm in writing within already built communities that share an established passion? My 'original' work always feels lonelier than the stuff written with an audience in mind. Why is writing my original work so much better when it just sits there and is never seen by anybody other than me. Compared to the fanfic where im writing my stories about other people's characters and using my words and my particular quirks...and usually interacting with a whole community of friends and fellow writers.

[nintendonut1]

Hasty

so i

wrote ship fic of my OCs

if you guys are into that sorta thing LOL

Swee/Willow slowburn fic, where they discuss Swee's favorite television program growing up. Includes swearing, small injury, and telenovela-esque drama (thanks to LassDaisy for double-checking my Spanish!)

“What the—dude. What is this lady’s problem??”

Swee freezes mid-slice, the carrot on his cutting board half-diced, and takes a moment to find his center. Were it anyone else, any other time, he wouldn’t hesitate to throw someone who’d dare slander his girl right out of his kitchen. Shutting his eyes, he, oddly enough, finds inner peace in her shrieking voice blaring at full volume from the mounted television.

It’s okay. He dropped in at the season finale of a show that’s in a language he cannot understand. He has no knowledge of her struggles. Go easy on him.

Without a word, he lifts the remote and pauses the DVD, turning to face his guest with his hands clasped in front of his face. “...okay. Do you want the whole list, or just the top ten?”

Willow gives proper pause, blinking, a cracker drenched in cheese sauce hovering just near his open mouth in mid-bite. After the pause, he pops it in, growing nervous.

…oops.

Swee puffs out a sigh. “Sorry. I get melodramatic about my shows sometimes.” He saunters away from the counter and plops into a chair, joining Willow at the kitchen island and dipping his own cracker in the sauce. He needed a break from dinner prep anyways.

“I can, uh. See why,” Willow ventures with an uneasy grin, one that Swee wants to make go away and turn more genuine as soon as he can. 

“Yeah, heh. This one especially gets me bad. But I can’t help but feel for her, y’know?”

“Swee, she just pulled a gun on these two.” Willow points a chip at her frozen close-up of righteous fury, said gun pointed in front of her. “Like, is she dating one of them? Is that why?” (oh stars, he doesn’t know how painfully heterosexual this show is, that’s so cute holy shit) “Still seems like an overreaction, I dunno.”

“I mean…fair. But,” Swee turns to fully face him, swallowing a cracker. “This is the finale of season ten. There’s been a shitton of build-up to this.”

“So, tell me about it.”

Swee looks straight into those crooked eyes, fresh green and glittering, and finds nothing but sincerity in them.

So, he does.

It’s a bit of a long-winded summary of Hayce T. con Amor, a show near and dear to his heart. He followed its initial airing alongside his mom, and as he traveled around he’d spend hours on the phone with her sharing their impressions of the latest episode, up to its dramatic ending years ago. It follows the tumultuous journey of Hayce T., in her constant pursuit of true love in a sea of liars and cheaters. The first episode opens on her finding her high-school boyfriend making out with another girl under the bleachers, and her luck never, ever seems to lift up from there. The theme was that she’d always throw everything she had into a new relationship, naively hoping that this would be the one, and the boyfriend of the week would always find something wrong with that, each reason more outlandish than the last.

“Hell, last season, Pet T. tried to spin it in a way where she was ‘gaslighting and manipulating’ him by putting on some front?? Bess T., that’s her friend, remember, talked some sense into her, but like, damn, man?”

Willow is absorbing this, taking a thoughtful bite of a small stack of crackers as he considers it all. “So, like.” Oh he’s gonna say it, isn’t he. “When are Hayce and Bess gonna kiss?” 

There it is. Oh god Willow you beautiful soul. I could kiss you right now.

Swee doesn’t, and swallows a blush this time, taking a moment to recalibrate at that interruption to his whole spiel. “...okay, well, I’m not gonna spoil anything later on, just lemme get to right now—”

The star-doll looks almost smug as he chomps another stack. “Hellllll yeah they kiss later, don’t they.”

“Shoosh-shush. Yer throwin’ me off.” Swee shakes himself back on track as Willow chuckles. “So that guy, the one she’s pointing the gun at? That’s Gill T. He treated her like a queen, said he’d never do all the crap she went through, it looked like this was it, ‘tu eres mi unico amor,’ y’know?”

Willow nods, leaning in with interest. He doesn’t even point out how little Spanish he knows this time. “Uh-huh? But then she found him with that other lady anyways?”

“Worse than that, dude. That other lady was sent by him to kill her.”

“WHAT.”

“Right??”

He slumps back. Poor thing looks defeated, as if he was beginning to understand and it was all thrown off kilter. “Swee. Swee, what.”

“Look, just—I’ll go back to the beginning of the season,” the toad scrambles back to the counter, fiddling with the DVD menu. “And I’ll hit the subtitles, just. I can’t just tell you everything, you gotta watch it unfold, it’s fuckin’ crazy.”

“Aaaallright, okay.” Willow acquiesces, watching the opening credits play out as Swee frantically returns to his prep work, oops, oops, oops—

“...Swee?”

“Yeah?” Chop chop chop.

“You said you feel for Hayce T., yeah?”

“Uh-huh.” 

“...are you looking for true love, too?”

CHOP. “—AAGGHH. FUCK.”

“Swee???”

In a whirling blur, the toad chef is back at the kitchen island, his hand nestled in a bloodied cloth. Spanish voices fade into the background as he watches Willow tend to the lengthy cut along the top, releasing a sappy healing salve from a digit in his finger and dragging it along the wound. 

Swee’s head is positively buzzing. He almost misses when Willow sighs, “There. Geez. Not as bad as it looked, but still.”

“Thanks. Ugh.”

Aw hell. Now Willow looks away, ashamed, like this whole thing was his fault. Because of course he thinks that. “...Sorry.”

“Shush.” Swee clears his throat, and answers his question. “...yeah, kinda. I mean, I’ve been looking.”

Willow pensively watches him as he continues, “I thought I found it, a few times. A relationship here, a fling or two there…or five.” He cringes at himself. “...when you’re traveling a lot, there’s not any time for much else.”

He feels the gaze of the resplendent star in front of him, and he laughs mirthlessly. “Guess I’ve got that Hayce T. run of luck.”

The silence that follows is thick as molasses, and Swee wants to sink into the earth and vanish— “Well…” Willow’s voice, weedy with nerves, cuts through that spiraling thought, and Swee is greeted with a lopsided grin. “If anyone sends their assassin affair partner to kill you, you at least got me to protect you?”

Oh my god. Willow ventures a small shrug. Oh my god.

A thousand emotions crash into Swee and smash through his walls, and he breaks down laughing. Willow joins him shortly, and they both slump on the table in actual mirth as the telenovela plays above them, the tormented lovers onscreen ignorant of the actual goddamn romance happening here in Swee’s goddamn kitchen.

“Then my luck’s already better.”

[warmshotamilk]

Yeah I get that they can't really stop anyone from making whatever they want, even with their OCs, but... Why is the only solution to never share any of your art, ever? That feels so... I dunno, victim blamey? Why is it their fault they're having these things done to them that they did not okay nor ask for? I don't think posting art is inherently consent for your characters to be sexualized.

That's another thing, I don't understand why everything has to be acceptable to sexualize. Maybe it's because I'm aroace, but God I'm so so so sick of it. Not everything has to come back around to sex and romance god dammit, and it really isn't that hard to just respect the wishes of their creator. It would've been so easy, but it seems like some people don't think they're worthy of that little shred of respect.

Their response to it all is awful, especially if they really are exposing minors to this art. Fanart/fanfics shouldn't be taken down because of copyright. But what do they do in this situation, delete all of their posts and drop off the internet? At this point, that wouldn't even change anything. Their characters aren't theirs anymore, and they will never get them back, no matter what they do. I don't want to think about what person I would be if I were in their situation because I think it would ruin me.

"Why is it their fault they're having these things done to them"

Stopping you right there

Nothing it being done to them

Having someone draw fanart they don't like isn't doing anything to them. It is just existing. It has nothing to do with them. The only way it would be doing something to them is if the person who drew it sends it to them without permission, someone else sends it to them without permission, or they actively search for it themselves

The first two are just people being assholes. Setting that boundary of "please just don't send it to me" could be helped but assholes who like being assholes exist so just block/report them. That last one would be their own fault because... well, they are looking for it. You can't exactly be mad when you set out to search for something and end up finding it

It does suck that they're finding themselves in this situation, but the correct and most mature response would have been to ignore it. To ignore all the fanart they don't like, ignore all the people making the fanart, block people, block tags, all that good stuff. Being the original creator of something doesn't exempt you from the good ol' "don't like, don't look" rule

But they didn't do that. They chose to make a google form asking people to hunt down and snitch on people who make NSFW of their characters. That's like... the exact opposite of ignoring it

And to address your immature rant about why "everything has to be acceptable to sexualize", just replace the fact that it's NSFW with literally anything else and ask yourself if you think the situation would suddenly become more or less okay. Ask yourself "If Alex Hirsch made a google form threatening to copyright strike people who made ship art of Bill and Ford stating that it 'made him uncomfortable,' would I think that is reasonable in any sense?" I think you'll find that the answer would mostly be no and if it isn't... lol. Lmao even

(Using Alex Hirsch as an example because he was the first guy who came to mind. I am aware that He Would Never and this isn't Alex Hirsch slander)

[snarky-art]

im sorry but where does the whole solarian/lunarian thing come from? i see a lot of people put that in their rewrites but i have no recollection of that in the show? is it from the comics or something?? im admittedly not the biggest fan of it but i straight up dont know where it came from

I actually dunno tbh

I just think a lot of us don’t like empires and see the fact that there’s a separation in how Radius and Luna’s positions are talked about and ran with it

For me personally (this could be how others view it too, I just don’t know because I haven’t asked anyone else really), I also know Stella is a huge daddy’s girl in the show and has a stronger connection to him and by proxy her sun stuff, and given the way the show phased out her moon powers and in the Nick rewrite, completely erased them, I took that and ran with it to mean there’s more shame or discouragement associated with moon based magic on Solaria. Given it’s literally called Solaria,, as in, Sun shit, and there’s no mention of the moon in their royal court stuff or in general, I felt like that only made the idea for the discussion surrounding Lunarian stuff as lesser even juicier given the implied context.

I love a good commentary on how empires and monarchs are evil too and political intrigue is a huge part of my rewrite. It’s super present in my everyday life and it only made sense to me to include it in this stuff because, yeah, politics are everywhere, and it’s going to be EXTRA loud if the girls are doing realm saving stuff that effects literally every planet and group out there as a result and a few of them are literally government figures.

@charmixpower has pretty much everything from the comics memorized so I’ll ask er if there’s anything in particular from those that made it happen for people or you can send er an ask, but I have no idea tbh I’ve only skimmed some of them and they were mainly Bloom centric in plot because I’m basic lol

Anyway tho it’s fair if you don’t like it obviously. To each their own! And you are more than welcome to make your own version if you aren’t already that doesn’t include that! I’m always excited to see more people’s takes on Winx Club I am not normal about this show clearly and I never will be lol

Edit: was just talking to one of my friends about this and they pointed out that their rewrite doesn’t really have this dynamic if you wanna check theirs out! Their blog is @kitrewritestheinx:)

[sing-singy]

Hi!!!!! I noticed your host!Amelia doodles and i thought it was SO cool and just wanted to know if you had any more info abt it?????? sorry to bothhher

Hi ♡ thank you for finding interest in it. I dont mind asks at all so dont even worry about that either... onto the actual question. Ill be real, most of my ideas for that au arent planned because the idea of it wasnt planned either. ...it came out of me playing tomadachi life. . . I can just recount everything so it makes more sense maybe

Scenty doesn't make them do challenges she keeps them on the plane to live life like theyre bugs and basically finds joy in being able to watch them and maintain control while also craving more interaction from other people. this ultimately means that no one gets eliminated and no one is in any real danger. however, Charlotte is literally dying from the mold and ends up . yknow, dying. Freaking Scenty out because one she didn't expect it and two since she had never killed anyone during their stay in the plane she never learns the respawn command making it even more of a disaster to her mental state lol

Ok so this is where things get fuzzy im not to sure how charlotte does it BUT SHES ABLE TO NAVIGATE THE RADIO (maybe another stone is there in the waiting room idk let me have this) and ultimately is able to arrive back at earth. Parker runs into her they have a whole back and forth, Charlotte is avoiding him with her mixed feelings while Parker wants them to have some sort of communication because hes equally as worried for her as he is frustrated. Im pretty sure i planned for them to investigate the whole plane and maybe even more about Scenty (without knowing its the unknown 'deity' who trapped her and the others.) Charlotte concluded she has to stop Scenty by going back which . means she has to kill herself. Which Parker is immediately against and they have their second big fight but it ends with Charlotte dying anyway.

anyway SOMEHOW Charlotte is able to go to Scentys world and wow she finds out shes a normal person who just decided to fuck around and find out i guess. Scenty is immediately overwhelmed with joy because wow Charlottes here and shes alive! And shes. not a murderer, hah. But Charlotte is pissed so they definitely have a very funny bonding moment where Charlotte has to suppress the urge to kill this naive and too overbearing candle. While trying to figure out how to stop what she's doing with everyone else.

..and yeah, the ending is basically undecided because i had planned for either one of them to die.. OR BOTH who knows really but i still dunno either way so there's that. I hope you enjoyed my long spiel cause this might be what you get for a while lol and if none of this makes sense, then sorry, but i literally can not construct anything comprehensible in my current state LOL

[hughungrybear]

Name four songs that you consider YOURS. Songs that no one else understands like you. Songs that they can try to pry from your cold dead hands.

Tagged by @imlivingformyselfdontmindme. And because the original rule says only four, I would do just that (mostly because I'm too lazy to list more than that lol 😁)

These are my go-to songs whenever I feel life is giving extra scoops of sh*t. Also, these songs are old (leave me alone lol). However, their lyrics are those that I can almost always relate to the most. In this exact order:

Apoy (Fire) by Greyhoundz

It is such a shame that Spotify does not carry this song. It is my go-to whenever I feel depressed. The song talks about the lure of self-destruction and the singer's appeal to those listening to hold tight to their ideals/ beliefs/whatever makes them truly happy.

Original lyrics with English translation: Tatalon ka na ba mula sa sinasakyan na nagdala syo sa taas para lang magpakalunod sa bisyo o sa luho Are you jumping from the vehicle that has taken you up high just to drown yourself in vices and luxuries? Bibitawan mo na ba paniniwalang nagdulot sayo ng saya para lang magpakabaliw sa pansamantalang aliw Will you let go of the belief that made you happy just to go crazy in the pursuit of quick pleasure? Sunog lang ng sunog...(6x) Just keep burning...(6x) Kapit ng mahigpit kapatid, kapit ng mahigpit kapatid ...wag kang bumitaw... Hold on tightly, brother, don't let go... Bat kaba lumalayo sa mismong kadugo kailanman di ka iniwanang nagluluksang mag-isa Why are you distancing yourself from your own blood who has never left you to mourn alone? Nakalimutan mo na ba halaga nila bat ka ba sumusuko sa mga pagsubok na di mo naman ikamamatay di ba Have you forgotten their worth, why are you giving up on challenges that won't even kill you, right? Dapat lalo kang tumitibay You should become even stronger Sunog lang ng sunog...(6x) Just keep burning...(6x) Tulong pahingi ng gamot para wag ng malito kahit wala munang sagot Help, give me medicine to avoid getting confused, even if there's no answer yet Tulong pahingi ng gamot kahit panandaliang lunas para lang kumalma Help me, give me some medicine, even if it's just a temporary cure to calm me down Bat kaba nagpapasunog sa sarili mong apoy...(10x) Why are you setting yourself on fire...(10x) Kapit ng mahigpit kapatid... kumapit ng mahigpit kapatid... wag kang bumitaw Hold on tightly, brother, don't let go

2. Alive by Pearl Jam

I guess you are now sensing a theme here lol Yes, I was emo-punk rock even before it was a thing 😅

3. Across the Universe by The Beatles

It's trippy, the lyrics flow like a goddamned poetry, and listening to it makes me feel things.

4. Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage

I dunno why but I am sincerely happier when it rains as opposed to when it's sunny out there. Like giddy happy.

Tagging @lost-my-sanity1, @telomeke, @dribs-and-drabbles, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @plantsarepeopletoo, @sparklyeyedhimbo, @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, and anyone who would like to play this game.

[infriga]

What's interesting about House of Usher is that Flannigan usually has likeable protagonists, at least in my experience. Granted I haven't seen all of his works, but I've seen several (Bly Manor, Hill House, Midnight Mass, and I've heard summaries of others) and most of them are generally pretty sympathetic from my understanding, even the ones with more blood on their hands, so to speak.

In House of Usher however, almost none of the main characters are good or likeable people to much, if any, degree. Their spouses/partners are decent people, for the most part (dunno how the siblings landed such nice SOs despite being so nasty), and the granddaughter seems alright (I'm only on episode 5 btw so idk if anything happens regarding her or the other non-siblings, no spoilers pls), and Auguste seems like a decent person (maybe not the best family man, but he at has his heart in the right place especially compared to the Ushers), but all the siblings, and Roderick and Madeline themselves, are pretty horrible people.

But like, they're not one dimensional bad people, they're complex, they feel emotions, they care about people in their lives even if they don't tend to treat those people well, they have fears and insecurities and passions and hangups just like regular people do. So while usually I dislike when the protagonists of a show like this are unlikable, in this show it's actually quite fascinating because like I can't say I hate them either, they feel like they could be good people if they really wanted to be. Especially if they had better influences and were taught better lessons by their father and aunt. They feel human, not evil, but I'm also not rooting for them either. I don't know who to root for tbh, except maybe people like Julius, Tammy's husband, and the granddaughter, who are all side characters lol. Idk who the weird supernatural lady is (death? The devil? God? A witch? No idea) so I don't know her motivations or what kinda person she is, she seems to be collecting on some sort of debt but that's the best I've got on her. I do think it's interesting how she tried to spare Morrie from the acid by telling her to go like she did with the wait staff, but she didn't do anything to help Ali later when she was killed, so was it strategic or does this lady have some sort of code of morals? Does she care about whether people are innocent or not? Why spare the wait staff from death by acid shower but not the other party goers? Is sparing Morrie more about the potential role she'll play in Freddy's death? I guess I'll find out.

But I do think it's interesting that we start off the show knowing who's going to die already, since usually stakes in this genre come from wanting characters to survive (hence why I usually prefer likable protags in horror/suspense media), but it makes sense that since none of these people are very likable, the suspense needs to mostly come from something else on that front, such as wondering how they're going to die or which innocent people they might take with them in the process, as well as wanting to know what caused all this.

Roderick, ironically, is probably the most sympathetic member of the family aside from his granddaughter, which doesn't mean much but I mean, I wouldn't begrudge anyone going through what he witnessed in episode 5. Like gaddamn that's fucked up. He seems like someone who deep down has the potential and even the buried desire or instinct to be a good person, but was too much of a coward to put in the work it would take to be good and stay good in a harsh world when he wants so badly to be someone big and successful and important just like, well, his father. But ultimately he does obviously love his children so I do sympathize with him in that regard.

But the show is making the unlikable protagonists thing work for it, somehow. I don't like most of these people, but I am fascinated by them and what's going down and how they got here. It's like watching a car crash in slow motion.

[scoonsalicious]

Hey pocket!! Whats the most ridiculous thing you’ve seem tony do?

Hi!

Wow, okay. First one's a fucking hard one, huh? I mean, to start, have you met Tony Stark? Everything the man does borders on some level of ridiculous, I swear. For the sake of this particular answer, I'll tell you the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen him do that doesn't involve sheep (that's a story for Chapter 19!). So, to misquote my Spirit Guide, Sophia Petrillo: Picture it, NYC, 2004. A young peasant girl is in her first or second year working for one of the greatest tech companies in the world, when she gets an urgent call from her boss out in Malibu. Tony's frantic on the phone, begging me to fly out there as soon as possible. Says he's got an emergency situation only I can fix. Me being young and dumb, and not fully realizing yet just how totally unprofessional Tony Fucking Stark is, I hop on a plane, thinking I'm off to solve, like, the energy crisis or some such bullshit, you know? Stupid fucking me, thinking it would be something rational. I show up to the beach house early the next morning after dragging my ass onto a redeye and let myself in, probably looking like stale leftovers, and there's this woman in Tony's kitchen, wearing a pair of his boxers, and literally nothing else, making French Toast. Like, tits on parade. We kind of stare at each other for a minute, and it's hella awkward, and I'm thinking "this is still Tony's house, right? He didn't move without telling me?" and this girl just looks at me and goes "Who the hell are you?" Fair enough-- Tony's got a new lady and she's surprised when a random chick with a suitcase just walks in, right? Makes perfect sense. I'm about to apologize and introduce myself when Tony comes slumping down the stairs, and that son of a bitch throws a huge-ass frown on his face and is all "Oh no! Honey, you weren't supposed to be home until the weekend! I'm so sorry! I'm scum! You weren't supposed to find out like this!" and I'm looking at him like "What the actual fuck, Boss?" and he just turns to this other girl and goes "This is my wife."

Obviously, the girl is pissed at Tony, but she's being all apologetic to me, so sorry for wrecking my home and shit, and I'm trying not to die laughing, which probably just makes me look like I'm about to fucking cry or something. So, she's collecting her things, calling Tony all kinds of names that I, as a lady, can not repeat ;) while telling me how sorry she is, and then she's out the door. Tony is fucking relieved-- apparently, he met her at some sort of fundraiser in LA, brought her back to the house for the night, which somehow turned into six nights?, because bitch just. wouldn't. leave. I'm so confused, because why not just ask her to go? Or, I dunno, call the cops or something, right? You have to make me fly all the way across the country to kick a girl out? Granted, this was before anyone really started talking about carbon footprints... but, I digress. His answer? He couldn't ask her to leave because he couldn't remember her fucking name. Men. We ended up having a decent laugh over the French Toast she made. I gotta say, it was fucking delicious. That chick's a senator, now, btw. We ran into her at a thing in DC a few years back, and she was so thrilled we'd managed to make our "marriage" work, after all these years. I made him buy me a beagle after that, lol. PS: Shout out to Pep for willingly taking on this man and his bullshit. She is a fucking saint, you have no idea.

[sirensea14]

How did you actually come up with mayhem x not cup? It seems like such a weird yet canon ship I love it I want to learn more

Oh i actually had art of that ship waaaaay back before posting on tumblr

Made this around the middle of last year. And then i posted this when i first started tumblr (you long-time fishies/followers out there who was with me with my first post might remember this lol)

From all i could remember from my past-self's thoughts, Not-Cup was, from what i imagined, a hollow and black eyed version of Cuphead that appeared in real Cuphead's dream in the labyrinth. Which is waaaaay different cuz in the canon, its actually just the usual cuphead that we know, except evil with toungue. I was wondering why he was in the Tear—was he an anomaly like mayhem? Was he an illusion like ava and black hat? Or is he smth else like i dunno, a future cuphead that is potentially possessed by an ink machine part? (As you guys know, when a character gets possessed by this shit, their eyes turn black like Cog!Holly, Cog!Cala and Instument!boris and sarah. Except the brush with mick tho, i dunno why is that)

But anyway, this question gets unanswered leaving me to headcanon that he is an "actual" character and not just a manifestation or illusion of the labyrinth. Just like Mayhem who we thought was an illusion till she's revealed to be an actual character in the series. (This question regarding Not-Cup is still unanswered lol, regardless of an answer, im still shipping them)

Now, onto the actual question, well i dunno if u ship cuphead and holly (i do) and if you'd notice, witchbrew is (obviously) a parallel of the colly ship. Colly are in the hero side, while Witchbrew is on the villain side. I would love to see an actual couple be villains, it sucks that theyre always single XD. If Cuphead had his Holly, then why cant Mayhem have her Not-Cup, hm? Nah-uh aint gonna let that happen

And then boom! This shit--i mean ship is created. Lol i dunno if this makes any sense 😭

Also this ship has ties with my theory regarding of Mayhem's origin and if there will be a canon origin of her story thats gonna be different from my theory, well, lets say this might just be a small fanon ship that randomly came outta nowhere XD

Regarding their origin love story, it starts with my theory that Mayhem is the future Holly that is fully possessed by the cog when the questers went to the desert (forgot its name) to finf the machine. Cuphead goes desperate and asks help from a part? (Eh, i really havent thought about how cuphead got possessed lol) And then he teams up with Mayhem.

The problem is, Cuphead did it out of love, regrets (regret that he didnt manage to save holly even tho it wasnt his fault), and guilt. While Mayhem got possessed by the Cog due to her previous connection to it that got stronger. So i this ship, its painfully one-sided. Painful truth.

But when interacting, they act a bit like a bickering couple, Mayhem being the terrifying teaser she is while Not-cup is the sarcastic serious one. Tho he sometimes act like the actual Cuphead Dish from the questers. They may also act a bit like the duplicates of Colly in appearance.

Not-Cup likes to help Mayhem mess with the Questers as they try to hunt down and restore the duo.

And as for Chaos the Cat... I dunno where the fuck does he fit in lol

From what i remember i think i had a digital version of Mayhem's Tango? Its burried deep down in the ocean... Btw Mayhem's tango was inspired by the song "You'll be mine (Alice's Tango)" by Chi-Chi. I also had other songs that i associate mayhem with (mostly its just bendy fansongs lol) but i dunno if u wanna hear abt it :/

Welp i think thats it? I covered up all about teh WitchBrew origins. Send me another ask if my explanation's not clear XD

Im also glad that you love this silly lil ship i made! It was odd seeing someone like it when i expected no to actually like it XD (tho i dunno out there if anyone actually paid attention to my mayhem x not-cup ship way back then cuz it was a bit random) if u want more infos abt them, go on and ask! I have a bit more from store actually... Hidden for so long... (/jk, its just for 2 years lol)

Stars i feel like ive made an essay...

[chihirolovebot]

this is in no way whatsoever meant to be /neg im just REALLY bad at picking up hints

but how come like quite a few times in the story kokichi says physicist is stupid? i get it in one of the recent chapters cause he was basically saying they were stupid for trusting him, but is that the same for every other time??

i remember one line saying something like “they’re just not ???? or smart enough” i think ????? when they *are* smart

i dunno maybe . ironically . im just stupid

UR NOT STUPID ITS OKAY !!!!

separate from phys i DO think ouma has a tendency to believe he's smarter than other people, as in like... smarter than everyone. it's implied that the only one he considers to be on his 'level' is saihara in the original game ( i've elaborated on ouma's pridefulness / ego here ). so there's already that sense of like... he thinks trusting in people is inherently stupid and to do so makes you at the very least naive. that seemed to be his main gripe with momota, after all.

phys is smart. they're not overly trusting but they do have a tendency to think the best of the people they do trust to a fault, like toujo and even ouma to an extent. ouma probably does this phys is ... not necessarily stupid for trusting people so much, but definitely naive. it's why he tries to steer them away from momota's way of thinking a lot. he probably does think they're ridiculous for trusting him, too, after everything he's done and all the ways he's acted.

and honestly. sometimes he's just being mean. ouma definitely has a cruel streak and he's not afraid to show it. a lot of the time ouma lashes out and gets extra mean when he fears that people are starting to see through his facade. since phys tends to see through it more than anyone else, they often get the brunt of his temper. he constantly throws the deaths of toujo and amami in their face in an attempt to make them too hurt or angry to focus on him. take this scene:

this comes right after ouma tries to subtly warn phys away from going back into shinguuji's lab, and phys rightly calls him out on caring about them. this freaks him out so badly he immediately goes on the defensive, calling them stupid, and right after this implies that they were too stupid to save amami from dying. just . immediately going for the low blow to try and make phys angry enough to make them forget about the revelation they just came to about ouma caring for them.

if he's calling phys stupid to the others, it's likely just to impress upon them that he doesn't care about them and thinks just as less of them as he does everyone else ( even though his care for them is basically an open secret to everyone at this point lol ) .

so . in short. i dont think ouma really means it when he calls phys stupid? if anything he thinks they're naive for trusting people so readily, but that's an opinion he holds for literally everyone who isn't him, so . any other time it's because he's trying to deflect from people realising he cares for phys.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s14e1 stranger in a strange land (w. andrew dabb)

pre-ep recap being ac/dc shot down in flames much better fit than metallica's nothing else matters from 13x01 vibe-wise and matching the pace of the clips. good job, guys. and smooth segue to it being on in the car

s14e1 / the matrix

wtf jackles, what is this speaking voice/cadence. reminds me of keanu reeves?? usually when i make really out there sound associations, i'm a little high. but that is not the case today. he's acting more like an agent than neo, but getting the keanu vibes :p i can't think of what movie specifically i'm thinking of. the devil's advocate and constantine are the other two keanu movies i've seen a bunch, but i dunno

never good when i'm pulling a clip in the first few minutes 🥴 gonna be a 2-3 day watch i'm guessing.

also don't really understand the styling choices. i get that it helps make a big visual difference between michael and dean, but like. dude wasn't dressing like this old timey fancy man with a flat cap in the au world. is this 20s-ish? never seen peaky blinders but this seems kinda similar? reading about collar pins and bars now. lol

is this the grief beard i've heard about. well maintained, if so

MARY Sam, we’re gonna find him. Ketch is working that thing in London. Castiel is in Detroit. I know it’s been three weeks since Dean… Something will break. It has to. SAM Yeah. Yeah, you keep saying that.

so like why does sam need to be in charge and involved in this vampire thing with this bunker full of people? they were fully self organized and fighting before they came here. even if sam is de facto leader for whatever reason; delegate, my guy. no help to anyone if you're not sleeping. call jody in, i bet she could talk some sense into him. also vaguely funny that we're all Team Family Go! but the family i connect with the most for them is jody and her girls

CASTIEL Does any demon know where Dean Winchester is? KIPLING I’m sorry, did you just say you lost a Winchester? Because, one -- that’s… interesting. And, two, how is that you lost Dean? I thought the two of you were joined at the… [Kipling glances down in a suggestive way.] …you know, everything.

in a way i wish i could have watched this without any knowledge of fandom because my knee jerk response is, ew. because i just don't see anything between dean and cas, i have a hard time grasping they're even close, i've just tried to accept it because the show tells us all the time. but maybe i could have come around to it more if i didn't know about the screaming zeitgeist that is destiel. or maybe i'd have the same reaction, i don't know. but anyway perpetually disgruntled knowing that my reaction is always colored somewhat due to fandom. i try to watch objectively but i know my feelings on things outside the show color my feelings of stuff inside the show

oh, cas. what have you gotten yourself into this time.

mmmk

SISTER JO Why would he say “yes” to you? MICHAEL Love.

short and sweet

man i know jackles is trying to do something different but i do not enjoy the way he's speaking as michael. ok now i'm getting umm. brad pitt in interview with the vampire?? like when he's talking to what's his face. for the interview. lol. christian slater! kind of slow, flat fairly emotionless narration.

um. how in the world is nick's soul in his vessel? didn't crowley remake it or whatever? or did he not die at any point in the ... 7 years intervening between lucifer dumping him in s5 and getting popped back in during s12

from 12x13 CROWLEY I managed to pervert that spell. So your essence wasn't sent back to the cage, but instead, we found your discarded vessel a few years ago… repaired it, improved it, making it a fitting final home for the real you.

whatever, man. nothing makes sense to me anymore. also thinking about jimmy novak called being possessed by castiel like "being chained to a comet" - for all those years

NICK Ow. I don't get it. I don't understand how Lucifer could die and I could live. SAM Yeah, um… I think that maybe it's because the archangel blades were made to kill the archangel inside a-and not the person they, uh -- NICK Possesses and uses to almost end the world twice?

sure. SURE. that makes sense. not at all how anything else ever works on this show, but sure! i mean, i love mark pellegrino too but come on, guys.

SAM Stop saying that, please. MARY What? SAM “It's gonna be fine,” that everything's gonna be fine, we're gonna find Dean, and -- MARY We are. SAM You don't know that. Dean's gone, and we have no idea where he is or -- or if he's even still alive. You know, Michael could have… burned him out or… worse, and… MARY I know. I know he's out there, scared and alone. I know. I know he might never come back. Never think I don't know that. But -- I can't -- I have to think about the good, Sam, because, if I don't, I will drown in the bad. For Dean's sake, I can't do that. We can't do that.

that's fine and reasonable but it's also reasonable that sam doesn't want to hear a baseless placation.

jack getting a grandpa bobby now too apparently

completely zoning out on this demon monologuing. why did they bring the girl along who isn't a hunter. what happened to the devil's trap bullets? and couldn't they make the bullets made out of the angel blades they had on the au world? because with all the dead angels they surely must have a stockpile. wouldn't get this several minute action sequence with fake tension though so

SAM Enough! There will be no new King of Hell. Not today. Not ever. And if anybody wants the job, you can come through me. Understood? (breathing heavily) So, what's it gonna be?

lol okay

SAM It's the -- It's the magic egg that kicked Lucifer out of the President. I thought we could use it on Michael, but -- Ketch can't find it. So, that's another dead end, which is just awesome.

i'm glad the show remembered because i completely forgot about that thing. thanks for preemptively ruling it out

CASTIEL Sam, are you all right? SAM Yeah, I've been better. I've been worse. You? CASTIEL I'm -- I'm just sorry. I should never have gone to those demons. SAM Cass, I -- No, I-I-I don't blame you. I… Honestly, I-I wish I'd have thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean, I-I'd work with -- I'd do anything.

❤️ take what i can get. (still need to sleep, sammy)

MICHAEL Now, you -- you know exactly what you want. You don't pretend to want to help people or save the world. Your want is pure and simple and clean. And that's why you are worth saving. That's why we are going to work so well together. Because you -- you just want to eat.

LOL what. michael loves vampires!

!! omg lol i just reread my 13x23 with my whole "can't kill michael now that he's wearing dean" is that the whole reason we get pellegrino back as nick, so we can find out that archangel blades don't kill the vessel?? 😂