#i dropped the kaitlyn one ages ago but

[emmamountebanks]

to any of my quarry followers

ive let go of the kaitlynka and laurakearneys urls if any of u wanted those

[love-fireflysong]

2. We were dancing but all of a sudden it’s a slow song and we’re standing here awkwardly staring at each other

(gotta tag both @torahime​ and @nick-furcillo​ in this one now. kenize because I’m a complete moron who originally posted this like a week early and deleting the og post meant I had to make another one, and tora because she too hilariously enough ALSO requested this exact premise lol)

Nick had never so badly wanted to die in his whole entire life than right now.

Which, all things considered, he really should have expected considering that this whole shebang was really Jacob's idea in the first place. That wasn't to say that all the other counselors certainly hadn't made their own contributions in making this party what it was though, Nick included.

Emma had been the one to suggest making the party eighties themed in the first place and opening the drama cabin's costumes up to the camp so everyone could dress up. Dylan who made the playlist that everyone could dance to out of all the music records found. Abi who was in charge of decorating the lodge to give it a sufficient eighties inspired look and fun for the kids. Nick himself the one who recommended having supper that night be a 'make your pizza' party complete with too many soft drinks and bags upon bags of potato chips. Kaitlyn who organized the shooting stars tournament that would determine which cabin of kids would be making (and thus eating) their pizza’s first and getting first crack at all the ‘good’ ingredients.

And Ryan? Well he had had the most important job and contribution of all: convincing Chris Hackett that they were allowed to even throw the eighties themed dance party in the first place on such short notice. Especially with camp ending in just another short couple of days.

Though at this point, Nick was starting to wish that Ryan had failed, or that Jacob had never been punished with tidying the lodge attic that had resulted in him finding the music records that started this whole thing in the first place.

Which was a shame, because the night had been going so fucking smoothly too! There had been almost no arguments over the pizza toppings, and only one kid had burst into tears when they had dropped their pizza and it fell face down onto the floor. And sure, Nick had nearly sweated to death in the kitchen with the oven cranked as high as it could, but that happened nearly every night he made supper so really that wasn’t a big issue. Plus, he hadn’t changed into his own costume until afterwards, he probably would have actually died otherwise wearing the nearly all-white khaki ensemble with the heavy jacket (and that wasn’t even mentioning all the stains he would have ended up with too).

He had even been able to join in on the dancing himself once Kaylee and Caleb had both switched with him and taken over making sure that the punch and snacks bowls stayed filled and clean cups always at the ready. And, best of all, the last couple of those dances had been with Abi. Abi, the girl he’d had such an embarrassingly large crush on all summer, but had been, as Jacob so loved to eloquently put it: ‘too much of a chickenshit to do anything about it’.

And seeing as the last day of camp was pretty much tomorrow, Nick wasn’t exactly jumping at the bit to let her know about any of that. Not when the chances of them ever seeing each other ever again after they all split ways was pretty much nil, and he didn’t even have her number or socials or anything to keep in contact afterwards.

(Okay, fine. Yes, he still had her email address that had been listed on the orientation packet. Yes, he had maybe stared it at long and often enough that he had memorized it ages ago. No, he was absolutely not gonna be messaging her through it, are you insane Kaitlyn?! Doing that would just make him look like some sort of desperate creep oh my fucking god!)

So Nick was more than content to just share a couple of quick dances with Abi. Keeping a friendly and respectful distance between each other as they danced to whatever band Mr. H had apparently listened to in his youth. Occasionally laughing with her when the both spotted one of their campers doing some absolutely ridiculous dance move that apparently both were now too old to recognize as being the new, cool thing if one had to judge from the excited shrieks that would always arise from nearby kids every time one was pulled off.

It was nice. It was good. And if this was the last chance that Nick would ever get to spend some time with his summer crush, then he would enjoy every last second of it.

As the last couple of notes of Danger Zone had begun to wind down, Nick knew he should probably have excused himself and gotten back to the kitchen so he could relieve Caleb and Kaylee a song or two back now, and that he should definitely do so now. That was the responsible thing to do after all, but the problem was that he also wanted to stay and continue dancing with Abi a whole lot more. Not that he had time to make either choice when the music faded not into another of the hard rock songs that Dylan had been playing all night, but into a song much, much softer.

A song that sounded suspiciously like one someone would have to slow dance too.

Whatever shock was on his face though was clearly reflected almost identically onto Abi’s as well. Staring up at him with the same wide-eyes and almost gaping mouth, bodies frozen in place awkwardly as all the campers continued to dance around them, not caring or even noticing what the change in music meant as they grabbed nearby friends to dance with.

Slowly, Nick turned to look over his shoulder to where Dylan was standing with the music equipment, demanding to know exactly what the actual fuck he thought he was doing. Only to be met with a wide, beaming smile of encouragement. Encouragement only matched by the double thumbs up he sent Nick’s way.

Forget dying, he was going to kill that Patrick Star looking ass motherfucker if it was the last thing he did. And considering he felt like he was going to die from the mortifying embarrassment of staring at Abi awkwardly as literally everybody else in the room continued to dance, it probably would be.

And yet, despite the fact that this was literally the perfect time to excuse himself and get back into the kitchen where he could wither away and die in peace, he found that he wanted to leave the dance floor even less now.

“We...we can keep dancing if you want. I’m okay with it if you are...”

Nick could only blink down at Abi in shock. There was absolutely no way he had heard her right, no way at all. There was no way that she was fine still dancing with him, that she wanted to keep dancing with him. Not when the extremely romantic Listen to Your Heart was currently playing very loudly and clearly throughout the lodge.

If Dylan had thought he was being subtle with the message of the song, then he clearly had another thing coming. Cause his definition of subtlety was far, far closer to hitting someone up the side of the head with a brick.

“...You sure?”

“Yeah, totally,” Abi nodded, even as she kept her eyes firmly planted on her feet. “I mean, it’s just like any old song, right?”

“R-right. Yeah. Totally.”

Even with that agreement, neither still made the first move to actually reach out and put their hands on each other. Instead partaking in their own little awkward dance of trying to figure out where exactly the safest place to put said hands would be, squeakily apologizing every time their arms managed to collide into each other and pulling back before trying again. It took them both until about midway through the first chorus to actually get settled and into a somewhat appropriate position with her hands on the top of his shoulders and his resting lightly on her waist.

Nick’s honestly not sure what part is the most painfully awkward to look at: the fact that the full foot in height difference means that Abi’s almost straining to try and reach him even though he’s hunched down slightly to make it easier, or the even more obvious fact that Mr. H would have been thrilled with how much distance they were keeping between themselves as they held their arms stiffly out. Forget ‘room for Jesus’, Nick was pretty confident that Jacob could have easily fit in between them!

And, surprisingly, it was easy to ignore the soft weight (and warmth) of Abi’s hands up on his shoulders as they awkwardly swayed side to side. Though the main reason it was easy to ignore was due to the pure fact that she had cut the bottom off of one of her band t-shirts for tonight, meaning that Nick was trying extremely hard to forget the fact that he had his own (likely super sweaty) hands on the extremely bare skin of her waist.

“So,” Nick starts off, wincing and hoping that Abi didn’t notice the sharp crack in his voice as he did so, “the decorations look nice?”

He’s currently in the middle of kicking himself for the very unintended way his voice had decided to catch at the end, turning what was supposed to be a statement into a question, when Abi nervously laughs. “Thanks, but it was mostly the kids that made everything, I just showed them examples that I had already made to give them ideas.”

“Well they clearly must have had a pretty great teacher then, cause they did an amazing job.”

Nick can’t help but catch Abi’s face starting to go pink even under the dim lights, and as always he’s pleased with himself that he was even able to make her blush in the first place. He’s ready to continue in the same vein as those compliments—willing and able to say whatever it takes if it makes her continue to keep blushing pretty pink like that—when someone (ie: Emma) bumps into Abi from behind and sends her crashing into him.

“Whoops! Sorry about that Abi!” Emma calls over her shoulder (not sounding very sorry about it at all in Nick’s opinion) before she leads Jacob back to vanish into the crowd...or at least, she would have vanished if it wasn’t for the fact that the crowd pretty much consisted of nothing but kids that were still shorter than Abi and Kaitlyn.So instead Nick got to watch her head straight back towards where Kaitlyn and Ryan are also sharing a slow dance of their own. Ryan somehow looking more awkward than Nick felt and like he would rather be anywhere else but here as Kaitlyn does her best to keep a light mood with a forced smile on her face... all while Dylan watches them both with a not very well hidden sulk.

Nick would be feeling bad for Dylan honestly if it wasn’t his own fault that he was in this mess in the first place. That, and it’s hard to feel bad for him when all Nick can pay attention to is the fact that Abi’s all but pressed right up against him right now, her arms now nearly wrapped all the way around his neck to try and catch herself and his own hands having tightened their grip around her waist to try and steady her. Slowly, she turns her face up to look at him and the colour had changed from the light dusting of pink across her cheeks to a dark magenta that almost matched the coloured tips of her hair.

A shade that Nick was very sure matched the one on his face almost exactly.

“I’m sorry!” She squeaks out, hazel eyes wide as she tries to regain her footing. “I didn’t mean to!”

“I-It’s fine,” he stammers out, trying so very fucking hard to ignore the way that he can literally feel her pulse fluttering nervously beneath his palms. “It wasn’t even your fault to begin with. Really, it was just Emma being Emma if anything.”

“Yup!” Even as she nervously laughs it out though, he can’t help but notice how shrill and high pitched her voice is. “Just...just Emma being Emma!”

It only takes another couple of seconds to sort themselves out, but Nick doesn’t let go of her just yet. Doesn’t want to let go of her honestly. Now that they’ve started that dance, even as awkward and stiff as it was, he doesn’t want to stop until the song ends. So instead he swallows and works up the courage to say as much. “Listen, just because Emma was being—well, Emma, I guess—that doesn’t mean we should let her ruin our good time. I—” he takes a breath and readies himself for whatever may happen next “—I’d like to finish this dance if it’s alright with you.”

Abi doesn’t say anything. Staring up into his face with a contemplative furrow of the brows that he recognizes oh so easily as the same one that he sees on her face whenever she’s deep in sketching. He doesn’t know what it is that she finds, but whatever it is it clearly causes a shy smile to break out across her face. A smile wide enough that he can see her dimples starting to deepen at the corners of her mouth, and his breath can’t help but catch at the sight. “Yeah, I’d like that too. I’d like that a lot actually.”

This time when they both start the side-to-side sway from earlier, it looks far less stiff and stilted than before. Abi never bothered to remove her arms from where they had wrapped themselves around his neck and Nick was more than alright with that, hunching his shoulders down just enough so that she doesn’t have to reach very far like before but even that looks less awkward and more natural due to the fact that it means that his forehead is bent over hers. Nick’s hands are still on her waist as well, just holding her and enjoying her warmth beneath his palms, but even those are starting a southern drift until they rest almost naturally on the swell of her hips. Feeling not her soft skin anymore but the rounded studs of metal on her belts, and yet it’s somehow more intimate. They still make sure to keep some distance between them of course, but it's less Jacob-sized now and more like camper-sized, and even then only Daisy likely would be able to fit comfortably as the smallest of them all.

The silence isn’t suffocating anymore either—listening as Marie Fredriksson sings about voices wanting to be heard and the scent of magic—just enjoying the moment more than anything, but then Abi starts to chuckle lightly under her breath. He can’t quite help (and doesn’t want to, honestly) the wry smile that forms at the sound.

“Oh no,” he sighs dramatically, “what is it?”

“It’s nothing. Just surprised is all that you managed to go through this whole night in that outfit without a single pizza sauce stain on it. Was so sure that you’d leave the kitchen looking like you’d been attacked by a pizza monster or something.”

He snorts. “And that’s why I obviously never wore it in the kitchen, you dummy. Nah, I just made sure to shove it away somewhere safe and then changed into this when the pizza and dishes were all done. Was sort of the reason why it took me so long to join the rest of you guys: kitchen duty never rests and all that.”

“Well, I for one think it was worth it. Don’t know what you put in that sauce but that was definitely the best pizza I’ve ever had.”

Nick pretends to groan as though in physical pain at her statement. “If you think that was what a pizza should be like, then I am so sorry for your taste buds. You savage Americans have no idea what a true pizza should taste like.”

Abi looks up at him as though offended, but the twinkle in her eyes is clearly saying otherwise. “Oh, I’m sorry, and you Australians do? At least we don’t put actual eggs on our pizza.”

“Of course not,” he scoffs, thickening his accent just for the hell of it (but mostly because he knows that it will make her laugh), “and that’s because you guys are once again American savages who’ll gladly put something absolutely terrifying like deep fried butter on your pizza instead.”

Just like he had expected, Abi’s caught somewhere in between laughing and pretending to gag at his joke, and the pleasant flips that start in his stomach only spur him on to continue. “But I was talking about Italian pizza actually. Not even we Australians know how to make good pizza either, unfortunately, only Italians can manage that one.”

That alone is worth it if only for Abi’s sudden snort of laughter. “Oh god, that’s right. Totally forgot that you were part pompous, stuck up Italian, and that you came with all the high class opinions on what real food is because of it.”

He gives a mock, disdainful sniff. “Excuse me, but you should be thanking me and my ‘high class, stuck up and pompous’ opinions right now. You should have seen what kind of food Mr. H was keeping stocked in the camp kitchen before I got here. You’d have been stuck eating slop all summer if it wasn’t for me.”

Abi laughs again, and right on time too. Nick can feel his heart doing its usual gymnastic routine in his chest at the bright, ringing sound of her laughter. The laughter that he so rarely gets the chance to be the cause of, so just the fact that he knows for certain that she’s laughing with him (and not at him like he usually fears) means that the kaleidoscope of butterflies that had taken residence in his stomach at the beginning of summer are absolutely fluttering like crazy as well.

He’s so busy centering on the ever pleasant sensations that always seem to fill him when spending time with his crush, that it takes him a moment to realize that Abi had asked him another question. Only noticing after realizing that she had been calling his name for the last few seconds.

“Shit, sorry. What was that?”

Abi sighed, but it wasn’t without a great amount of amusement. “I was just wondering if you were able to speak any Italian as well?”

Nick shrugs. “Well sure. I mean there’s cappuccino, lasagna, spaghetti, pizza, piazza—ow!”

Abi laughed after having stepped on Nick’s foot on purpose—not hard enough to hurt of course, but just firm enough to make him stop. “I’m being serious right now, you dork!”

“All right, all right already. Sheesh, should report you to Mr. H for physical abuse of your fellow coworkers.” The grin on Nick’s face never fades even as he actually answers her question seriously this time. “But yeah, I can say a few phrases and words I guess. Stuff like hello, goodbye, thanks, ‘where's the bathroom?’, ‘go fuck yourself’. You know, simple and basic everyday stuff like that.”

Abi rolled her eyes but it’s clear even to him that she couldn’t help the grin that formed either. “God, should have known that you of all people would have absolutely memorized all the ways you could swear at someone in another language before moving onto hello of all things.”

“Be a pretty terrible Australian if I couldn’t do that now, could I?”

“Wait, doesn’t this mean that you could have just sworn in Italian the whole summer instead? You had a chance to actually keep swearing all summer unlike the rest of us monolingual idiots, but instead you wasted it!”

Nick snorts so hard that it actually sort of hurts a little. “Oh yeah, cause that’s not obvious at all what I’m really doing. And when all the kids start spouting off actual Italian curses every five seconds just to show off, Mr. H totally won’t figure out which one of us started it. The fact that one of the counselors has an actual Italian last name with the known Australian stereotype for swearing to boot, and not to mention has been heard saying random Italian words repeatedly is just a total coincidence.”

“Hmm. Well, maybe one day when you show me what a so-called ‘actual’ pizza should taste like, you can teach me some of those curses for the full immersive experience.”

The song’s finally starting to wind down now, but Nick’s not paying any attention at all to that. Not when he’s experiencing that rare moment of time again, the one where he swears to god that she might actually like him in the same way that he likes her. That maybe—just maybe—she’s been nursing a little crush on him of her very own. Because she just now pretty much came out and said that she would have had no objections to going out and spending some one-on-one time with him. And normally, this would have been a thought he could easily brush off as just seeing what he wanted to see, but not now. Not when camp is ending in just a couple of short days and there’s no time for them to meet up for a pizza and language lesson before they’re separating to different parts of the country again.

And Abi hadn’t said if he’d show her, she’d said when. As though it was a foregone conclusion to her that of course they’d be meeting up again in the future just for a pizza of all things.

Maybe, just letting her know that he likes her even this close to the end of summer wouldn’t be the worst choice in the world.

The song hasn’t stopped yet, still going through its last couple of repetitions of the title, but Nick has. Stopping the dance well beforehand so Abi can look up at him in confusion just as he looks down at her in trepidation.

“Hey,” he starts off nervously, trying very, very hard not to pay attention to how pretty she looks in her outfit under the atmospheric lighting right now, “can...can I talk to you outside?” If he’s going to actually do this, then he wants it to be at least somewhat private, and right now the wrap around deck outside is the best place even if they’d both be able to still easily hear the music playing inside. He’s not expecting anything crazy or inappropriate to happen, but he wants it to be a moment just for them.

Even if it turns out that Nick got this all horribly wrong and she’s just going to shoot him down in the end.

Abi’s eyes widen in her face and he’s really hoping that it’s a mixture of hope and excitement that he can see shining in her eyes and not anything else. “Oh! Um, yeah—”

“Alright Hacketteers! That’s the last song and I think it’s time for you all to get your butts to bed for the night!”

Immediately, all the lights are turned on and Nick is nearly blinded by how bright the lodge is as a loud chorus of groans and whines erupt from the campers. All aimed completely at Chris Hackett who’s standing just outside his office by the light switch.

“Come on Mr. H!”

“Just one more dance Mr. H, please!”

“But we’re not tired yet!”

Chris shakes his head. “No can do, already let you kiddo’s stay up later than I agreed to, and we all got a big day of cleaning ahead of us tomorrow before I send you all back home to your parents.” He turns his head to look at Ryan who had probably all but gladly extradited himself from his dance with Kaitlyn the second that Chris had turned on the lights. “Ry-guy, while I supervise the clean up here I can trust you and Kaitlyn to lead all these wayward souls back to their bunks for the night, right?”

“Yeah, of course Mr. H. You got it.”

Nick looks back down at Abi from where they had frozen in shock, still with their arms around each other in the dance from only seconds before. Hoping to take advantage of the confusion while Ryan tries to herd all of the still grumbling and complaining campers out the door and back to the cabins, he’s crossing his fingers that he’ll be able to sneak outside with Abi without anyone noticing. That no one will notice that they’re missing while they spend a couple of minutes having what Nick is beginning to think was a sorely needed conversation and confession before joining the others again.

He doesn’t even get far enough to take a step backwards, much less towards the door that leads outside.

“Abi, I’ll need you, Emma, and Jacob to start taking down the decorations and then mopping the floors. Nick—” Chris frowns in disapproval “Weren’t you supposed to switch back out with Caleb a while ago?”

Already feeling the ever familiar sensation of shame, Nick can feel whatever courage he had had already slipping out between his fingers as not only all eyes in the room turn to him, but Abi has already vanished from his arms to grab for the garbage bags. Her face is as red as he’s ever seen it. “Uh, sorry sir,” he apologies nervously as he awkwardly makes his way back to the kitchen with his hands shoved tightly in his pockets, “must have lost track of the time I think.”

Except as he walks into the kitchen with his mood somewhere near rock bottom now, he’s pretty sure he lost more than just the time. He’s getting the sinking feeling that he also just lost his very last chance of maybe becoming something more with Abi.

[offtopicoverload]

Just in Case

Sometimes you have to spend all night outside someone’s door, or all morning sitting at their desk, just in case they need some pizza. Or you, they might also need you.

hey, whaddaya know, i actually wrote something lmao. ive literally wanted to fix this plotline since i read it like six months ago or something, so i thought i finally would instead of doing something more responsible. and fair warning, it’s been ages since i played tfs and i have a shit memory, so if their characters are off, here’s my excuse

T Rating (just college kids being a bit dumb, so no warnings or anything)

Kaitlyn x MC (Maya)

~2k (a true random little ficlet lol)

Maya knocks on the door lightly, the raps hesitant as she turns her voice as sweet as she can possibly manage, “Hey, Kait? Do you wanna talk? Do you need anything? Do you want a hug? Or I could order pizza?” she rambles, shifting nervously. Her hands clasp and unclasp before her, palms clammy as her stomach rolls in waves of anxiety, a slow-building hurricane.

And it’s not helped by the answer she receives from the blank wood before her, “I want to be left alone.” It’s harsh and upset and frustrated as it leaks through the cracks between the frame and the door.

“You sure?” She fights against every instinct to throw the door open, fingers twitching at the desire to turn the knob just below her palm.

“Yes,” that same severe, irritated voice answers once more, “Go away.”

She sighs, head drooping, “You know I can’t do that, Kait. So I’ll just, um…” she drops to the floor, turning so her back rests against the door, her head turned upwards as she speaks, “If you need anything, I’m right here. Offer for pizza still stands.”

Another heavy sigh slips past her lips as she receives no response from the other side of the door. She digs in her jacket pocket for her phone, pulling it out and tapping until she finds Zack’s contact.

Hey

heya Meya

Can we talk?

always

I think Kait’s mad at me

why do you think that

She slammed the door in my face and told me to go away

yeah, i’d say she’s mad

did you leave her alone

I stopped talking

and you also went away

No I’m outside her room

just give her space

What if she needs pizza?

she can get herself pizza My

I don’t want her to be alone

she wants to be alone tho

I need her to know I’m always here

she doesn’t need you right now

i think you should give her space

What if something happens again?

like what

Like her birthday

There’s a long pause with no response, not even grey bubbles bouncing in the corner.

you stopped talking

Yeah. Promise

how long are you gonna stay there

As long as she’s in her room

that’ll be all night

That’s okay. Her door’s pretty comfy

Maya

I have to be here if she needs pizza

Maya can almost hear the sigh that accompanies the next message,

fine

night My

Night Zack

Her head falls back against the door, a soft thump sounding with it as her eyes flutter shut. Her hands knit in her lap, phone resting between them. A few sounds echo through the suite as the other roommates go about their evenings, but it’s quiet in Kaitlyn’s room.

It’s quiet and peaceful, and the day’s events are starting to wear on Maya as she patiently awaits a call from Kaitlyn. She sits there, the silence behind her beginning to settle along her shoulders like a weighted blanket, starting to gently pull her from consciousness.

Maya’s body careens backwards and her head crashes into the hardwood beneath her, a groan echoing as her eyes blink open. Kaitlyn’s standing above her, hovering with a clenched jaw and furious glare as morning light plays off her skin, her hair, her eyes, her everything in a halo.

The door’s been jerked open, Maya falling with it until she’s flat on her back with a dull ache in the back of her skull. She attempts to blink away the haze that’s clouding her mind of any thoughts but the girl standing above her, and all too soon memories of yesterday flood her senses.

A blush burns her cheeks, heating her face warmer than the sun still alighting Kaitlyn in an ethereal glow, “Hi,” she offers meekly, a small wave momentarily drawing Kaitlyn’s gaze.

But a second later she’s stepping over the crumpled form of Maya without a single word or backwards glance, striding in the direction of the suite’s kitchen. And Maya watches her go, watches her disappear around the corner, watches the corridor turn empty and lifeless as she exhales what feels like the last of her tether to Earth.

---

“Hey Kaitlyn,” Zack greets through a mouthful of poptarts, as chipper as usual. He swallows thickly, “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she grumbles, sidestepping him to pull the fridge door open, staring blankly into it and silently hoping something good will appear if she stares long enough.

Zack appears behind her, carefully nudging the fridge door closed, “You doing okay?”

She eyes him up suspiciously, “Yeah. Why?”

He responds with an awkward shrug, averting his gaze nervously, “You normally steal my poptart,” he mutters.

“Rookie mistake,” she grins, snatching the remaining half from his hand and taking a bite.

“So you’re okay?”

Kaitlyn stills, the poptart frozen away from her face, “Maya told you, didn’t she?”

“Well…” Zack glances away, shrugging under the weight of Kaitlyn’s judgemental gaze, “She told me you were mad at her, but not why.”

“My parents know,” she murmurs, eyes trained on the poptart held in her palm.

“That you’re gay?!”

Her eyes snap up to find a scandalized Zack staring back, “No, that my favorite color’s green. Yeah, that I’m gay!”

“That’s not good.”

“Nope,” she pops the ‘p’ before taking another bite.

“So why are you mad at Maya?”

“‘Cause it’s her fault.”

Zack’s eyes go wide, “Did she tell them?!”

Dark hair flies around Kaitlyn’s shoulders as she shakes her head, “No. No,” she corrects, “But they saw us kissing.”

“Oh, so it was an accident.”

“Yeah.”

“Then why are you mad at Maya?”

“‘Cause she started this whole thing by coming along, and then followed me outside, and then she wouldn’t leave me alone on the train or on the way home,” she huffs.

“She just wants to be there for you,” Zack reaches out, squeezing her shoulder in an attempt at some sort of comfort. 

And Kaitlyn just shrugs him off, “I don’t need her.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“No, I don’t,” she shoots him an unimpressed look, taking the last bite of the poptart and dusting her hands off.

“Kait, we all need her. Like, literally, I think this dorm would fall apart without her.”

“Well, I don’t need her.”

“What if she needs you?”

“She’s an adult.”

“She’s your girlfriend.”

“Who’s an adult.”

Zack just stares at her with his jaw clenched, looking more irritated than Kaitlyn’s ever seen him.  “What?” she explodes defensively, squirming under his gaze.

He sighs, digging out his phone from his pocket and tapping for a few seconds before presenting a text thread to her. She cautiously takes the device, scanning over the messages dated as last night. “I don’t know what was going on with the pizza thing,” he mutters under his breath.

“It’s - it doesn’t matter,” she sighs, just as her eyes land on one message in particular. She huffs, shoving Zack’s phone back into his hands as she storms out of the kitchen and down the hall, frustrated once more.

She pauses outside Maya’s door at the mouth of the hallway, just two down from her own, which has since been abandoned. She steps closer, pressing her ear to the door in search of some excuse to not disrupt. But it’s quiet on the other end, the only noises coming from the rest of the suite surrounding them.

Kaitlyn gently nudges the door open, the hinges creaking painfully loudly as Maya’s bedroom slowly comes into view, a familiar and welcoming sight. Dark eyes scan the room, taking in the closed curtains and the cluttered desk before landing on the bed, where a lump rests beneath the sheets.

Maya’s back is to the door as she lays curled in on herself, her profile rising a fraction with every delicate breath, with her braids splayed in a mess on her pillow. Light from the kitchen spills inside, yellow splashing in sharp lines along her comforter and along the wall, Kaitlyn’s shadow further obscuring the room.

She slips further inside, closing the door just as carefully as she opened it and takes a few cautious steps towards the bed. Maya doesn’t stir an inch, her breathing the only sound in the room as Kaitlyn crosses to the desk tucked against the wall.

She sinks into the chair before it, her leg bouncing anxiously as she simply watches the form across the room from her. Her fingers twitch and tap as she replays the past few months, from that first night, to the football games, to the sorority drama, to her birthday, and all the mess that came with it.

Though, maybe some good came with it too. Like movie nights and coffee dates and afternoons spent studying on the rooftop. Like wide smiles and unrestrained laughs and crinkled, bright eyes. Like eager kisses and tight hugs and lazy morning cuddles.

The form stirs, rolling onto her other side until a stray ray of sunlight is streaked across her cheek. Her eyes flutter open before she’s fumbling onto her elbows, “Kait?” she whispers, her voice heavy with sleep.

“Yeah,” Kaitlyn mumbles, her head dipping awkwardly.

“What are you doing?”

“Thought I’d stick around in case you needed anything.”

Maya softens, a gentle quiet filling the room before her hands find their way out from under the covers, grasping in Kaitlyn’s direction, “Come here,” she urges with a wave.

Kaitlyn obliges, standing and shuffling to the edge of the bed, where Maya takes her hand and tugs her onto the mattress. Kaitlyn slips beneath the comforter, her arms curling around Maya as she cuddles close, burying her face in Kaitlyn’s shoulder.

“Are you gonna be okay?” she whispers into Kaitlyn’s shirt, her breath hot where it seeps through the fabric to warm Kaitlyn’s skin.

Kaitlyn draws her closer, their legs tangling beneath the sheets as she tucks her chin over Maya’s head, absentmindedly twirling a braid around one finger, “Yeah, I think I just needed some time to think, you know? And my parents probably need space, so it’ll be awhile before I talk to them anyway.

“Maybe I can sort something out or write a letter, I don’t know. I don’t think I know what to say, but I’m working on it and trying to figure out how to move forward. I was up most of the night thinking about how I could fix things, or what I should do, and stressing about if I should even be bothered, and my mom ended up texting me and we spoke for a bit. It was nice that she wasn’t upset, but my dad’s another story.” She finally stops for air, looking down to find Maya’s eyes closed and her breathing back to that soft and gentle rhythm.

“Are you still awake?” she whispers, eyes tracing the way the few rays of sunlight slipping through the curtain dance along her skin, illuminate her features.

Maya hums in the back of her throat, “Mmhmm.”

A small grin quirks Kaitlyn’s lips, “So you know what I was talking about?”

“Mmhmm.”

“So you have no problem with me, say, tossing you out of bed?” Kaitlyn teases, her smile growing as Maya’s features stay peaceful and sleep-laden.

“Mmhmm.”

Kaitlyn chuckles softly, the exhale stirring a few strands of her hair as it lay on the pillow as she murmurs, “Sweet dreams. I’m here just in case,” and plants a small kiss on Maya’s forehead.

[freudensteins-monster]

Live From My Bedroom! It’s Darcy Lewis!

Based on a fic prompt I received forever ago and have been working on ever since.

Images used in the fake youtube screenshots were sourced almost entirely from Kat Dennings and RDJ's social media accounts.

Please note that this has been written in a very basic script/video transcript format. And has not been beta'd. Fingers crossed it's still easy to read. xoxox

Chapter One: Whatever Happened to Darcy Lewis?

[Title Card: A cheap animated explosion solely using colours from the Lisa Frank colour wheel with the text “LIVE FROM MY BEDROOM! IT’S DARCY LEWIS!” in the middle.]

[Video opens on a cheerful woman in her 30’s sitting in what looks like a teenager’s bedroom from the 90’s. The walls are covered in band/movie posters and the shelves are full of books, Barbies, and other toys from the era. The woman has long wavy brown hair and she is wearing a dark blue t-shirt with a Grumpy Bear symbol on it.]

Hello world! It’s Darcy Lewis here, cashing in on the childhood nostalgia train by launching my very own youtube channel. [winning smile] So… Whatever Happened to Darcy Lewis? This was a question posed to me by a random stranger after she had been staring at me for a solid five minutes as I stood in the tampon aisle of my local grocery store trying to make a decision.

[Cut scene]

[Text on screen: *Dramatic recreation]

[Darcy, dressed in basic t-shirt, staring at shelf of tampons]

[notices someone watching her]

[turns head]

Darcy dressed up like a yoga mom, caught staring: OMG. I am so sorry. It’s just that you look just like that kid from that tv show.

Darcy, dressed in a basic t-shirt, holding two boxes of tampons: [deadpan voice] I get that all the time.

Yoga Mom!Darcy: [deep in thought] Whatever happened to that girl anyway?

Darcy: [still holding up two boxes of tampons] I heard she moved to Florida to breed alligators.

Yoga Mom!Darcy: [shocked face] Really?!

Darcy: [still holding up two boxes of tampons] …No.

[End cut scene]

So, yeah, I am that kid from that tv show. In 1990, at the age of five, I was cast in the sitcom Live from Suburbia! If you don’t remember it you were probably watching Full House. That, or you’re just too young. It’ll be thirty years this month since Live from Suburbia! first aired, and come December I am going to be thirty-five years old.

[video goes black and white, zooms in on a distraught Darcy’s face]

[Psycho shower scene music plays]

[Darcy shakes herself out of it and video returns to normal]

So, yeah, I forgive you if you haven’t seen it.

[Text flashes on screen: HEY NETFLIX! PICK IT UP ALREADY!]

My parents have probably never even seen an episode they weren’t on set for either. They were never really keen on the idea of me becoming a child actor. They’re both college professors – they were prepared for, like, mathletes or debate club, not driving me to auditions and having me take classes with a tutor in a trailer parked outside a soundstage. [laughs] But I was super obsessed with Drew Barrymore in E.T. and when my mom explained that E.T. wasn’t real, and that Drew was an actress, I decided that was what I wanted to do. So when I heard people talking about auditions being held at a local shopping mall, and that they were looking for a “precocious” 5-6 year old girl, I kind of demanded that my parents let me go. That audition was for a cereal commercial – I didn’t get it, but the casting director liked me so when they were starting the casting process for Live from Suburbia! they asked me to audition for the role of Siouxsie.

[Text appears on screen: *NOT SUSIE. SIOUXSIE. LIKE SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES. #endthedebate]

Live from Suburbia! was about a wannabe rock star from LA, played by a pre-famous, pre-infamous, Tony Stark, who had to put his dreams on hold and move to the suburbs when he becomes the sole guardian of his two kids; Siouxsie and Hendrix, played by a pre-teen Clint Barton. You might recognise him too; his most recent album just went platinum.

[images of Clint Barton rocking out on stages around the world flash on screen]

The show was axed in 1994 and I pretty much went back to the real world for a few years and went back to school full time. My parents were pretty insistent on that. Towards the end of middle school they let me get back in contact with my agent and I soon got a recurring role as mean girl Kaitlyn on the Disney Channel show Total Drama Teens. And later on when I was a senior in high school I played Void, the goth hacker-slash-tech support to a brooding vigilante in one of the last great straight-to-video action duds of the Blockbuster era. 

[sudden dramatic close up] 

But we don’t talk about that. 

[zoom out]

After high school I went to Culver University and studied full time. My parents insisted I get a “real degree” so I ended up majoring in Political Science with a minor in Drama, instead of the other way around, and without the Political Science, like I wanted. After I graduated, despite my parents’ concerns, I moved to L.A. to try and become an actress full time. You might remember me from such unforgettable roles as the “kooky” comedic relief-slash-best friend in five different rom-coms from the mid-2000’s – four of which were called Jenny. I am not kidding. 

[Images of her characters appear on screen: Jenny, Jenny, Jennie, Madison, and Jenny.]

I’ve also had bit parts on every Law & Order and CSI series there is, and had recurring roles as the “kooky” girlfriend in about three different sitcoms over the past five years. 

[Darcy sighs]

[Text on screen: SIGHS IN TYPECAST]

Most recently I finished work on my first serious dramatic role in an indie movie called Bottled Lightning. It’s been entered in a few film festivals, I’ve gotten some good reviews for my performance, but as of last week it had still not secured a distribution deal. So, yeah… That one’s probably only going to be seen by a dozen film critics from three different film festivals and then sort of disappear into the unknown. [pouts] So here I am. Taking a break from the grind of auditioning. In my time capsule of a childhood bedroom. Housesitting for my parents while they’re drinking their way across Europe. 

[Darcy sighs again]

[Text on screen: SIGHS IN UNREALISED POTENTIAL]

My parents suggested I just give up on the whole acting thing altogether, move closer to them, get a “real job”… So I created a youtube channel instead. [cheeky smile] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming episodes. Next week I’m going to be doing a reaction video to the pilot episode of Live from Suburbia! It’s been a good twenty-five years since I’ve seen it, but I’ve got the entire series on VHS. …just got to figure out how to get that digital so I can insert it into one of these videos…

[pensive music]

[Text on screen: COME ON NETFLIX! HELP A GIRL OUT!]

And then maybe a reaction to the first episode of Full House, or a review of the best child actor performances... Maybe if these videos get some traction I might even be able to do some interviews with other child actors – what do you think? Let me know in the comments. And I’m sure you know the drill already: Like, Subscribe, and Share. Thanks for dropping by! I’ll see you next week!

[Darcy blows a kiss to camera, screen fades to black]

NEXT VIDEO: Live from Suburbia! Pilot Episode Reaction (feat. Fizzgig)

*** ** ***

Notes: NEXT VIDEO is not indicative of what the next chapter is about but done simply to imply that Darcy has a whole lot of other videos on her channel that I haven’t written. Also, I named her parent’s cat Fizzgig for the 80s/90s kid vibes.

Tagging everyone who commented on the original tumblr fic prompt in case you wanted to see the end result. @zephrbabe @evieplease @endlesscalendar @lynnestra44 @founderofshield @oldenoughtobeyourmama  @typhoidmeri @phoenix-173 @suzieqsez @kiaraalexisklay @slytherinstarkravingmad​

[aion-rsa]

How Dear Evan Hansen Changes the Musical’s Ending

https://ift.tt/2XGJPiD

This article contains Dear Evan Hansen spoilers, both for the movie and the stage show.

No matter how you come to the story of Dear Evan Hansen, and regardless of the medium, things always have to end at the same apple orchard. It’s fitting since Evan’s first major lie about Connor Murphy, the boy who killed himself, was that they spent whole days in the then-abandoned orchard, talking about girls, boats, and whatever other fantasies Evan could concoct. And it’s here that Zoe Murphy, Connor’s younger sister, requests Evan meet her for the story’s final scene.

This is true of the stage show, which took Broadway by storm five years ago—winning six Tonys including for Best Musical and Best Actor for Ben Platt—and it’s the same for the movie, with Platt’s Evan coming to a now renewed orchard and sitting with the cinematic Zoe (Kaitlyn Dever). Among the trees, Evan can see at least one good thing that came out of his lies: The Connor Murphy Project reopened this small slice of paradise.

Yet how Dear Evan Hansen gets to that moment in the movie is drastically different from the stage musical. Then again, so is the world in the five years since the musical’s Broadway debut (and six since it was first performed in Washington D.C.). Hence why director Stephen Chbosky and screenwriter Steven Levenson, who adapted his own book from the stage, have attempted to adjust to our current social climate. The new ending addresses the harshest criticisms about the Evan Hansen character, and the values his tale might promote. This is, after all, a musical about a troubled young man who exploits the suicide of a stranger in his school to increase his popularity and to insinuate himself into the dead boy’s family.

But is the new ending an actual improvement? Well…

How Dear Evan Hansen Ends on Stage

The entire narrative of Dear Evan Hansen pivots on a misunderstanding between Evan and the Murphy family as the latter grieve over the suicide of Connor. When Connor’s parents, Cynthia and Larry, first misconstrue Evan’s letter to himself as their son’s suicide note, Evan attempts to correct them. However, they seem so heartbroken, and Evan is so desperate to please and be accepted—by anyone—he quickly goes along with it and begins spinning tales about his and Connor’s intimate friendship.

The musical is thus a rising crescendo that builds as Evan climbs higher and higher off his mistruths. So the inevitable moment where his house of cards comes crashing down is the narrative’s real climax. And yet, in the original version of Dear Evan Hansen, the story more or less ends right there. After Evan confesses in the song “Words Fail” that he lied about the letter and his entire friendship with Connor, the horrified Murphys walk away from him one by one, with various degrees of disgust. He then comes clean to his mother in the final big song of the show, “So Big / So Small,” where she comforts her son. She’ll never walk away.

The musical then quickly jumps one year into the future, with Evan revealed to be working part-time and attending community college, hoping to save up enough money to someday attend a university. Zoe, who’s now a senior in high school, invites Evan to the orchard where he thanks her family for never revealing his secret to the public—never telling the world he lied about Connor. And, rather incredulously, Zoe absolves Evan and the audience of any guilt. She says, “Everybody needed [the lie] for something.” She even goes so far to say it “saved my parents.” It brought her family closer together.

So while it’s still bittersweet since Evan’s relationship with the Murphys, including Zoe, is forever severed, there are still no real consequences for Evan other than Cynthia and Larry won’t pay for his college education. Even his guilt is assuaged, and he can brag to Zoe that he’s been reading the 10 books Connor said were his favorites in eighth grade. The show more or less ends in a figurative group hug by omitting through a time jump all of the messy fallout from his choices.

How Dear Evan Hansen the Movie Ends

In the film, “Words Fail” is still the climax of the story, with Evan confessing his sins and Zoe walking away. However, in one telling addition, Cynthia (played with delicate fragility by Amy Adams) is barely able to whisper, “I think it’s time for you to leave” while holding back tears. Since she was Evan’s biggest champion, that she is now the one who states explicitly he is disinvited from their home hits hardest.

Then after Evan’s heart-to-heart with his mother (Julianne Moore), we actually see Evan attempt to make amends for his misdeeds. For starters, the whole reason the truth finally came out in both versions of the story is because of the machinations of a schoolmate named Alana (Amandla Stenberg in the film), who accidentally unleashed a whole social media mob on the Murphys, with randos on the internet blaming the parents for Connor’s suicide.

On stage, this plot element is entirely dropped after Evan confesses to the Murphys, who presumably bear the brunt of the social media hate in quiet while protecting Evan’s secret. In the film though, Evan actually attempts to talk to Zoe in school the following week and she asks him to leave her alone. She also reveals the only reason her parents haven’t unmasked what Evan did is because “they’re afraid you’ll do something to yourself.” Like Connor.

Thus Evan gets on Twitter that night and tells the world, “[The Murphys] don’t deserve your hate. I do.” He confesses. Afterward, he again becomes a high school pariah, but we learn in montage he is more content this way as he tries to make further amends to the Murphys by not only reading Connor’s favorite books but tracking down someone’s phone video of Connor during his stint in rehab. Evan even finds footage of Connor playing his guitar, a feat he hid from his parents. The new song “A Little Closer,” which scores the final montage, is revealed to be a melody Connor wrote and sang in rehab, and Evan is able to at least mail that to Connor’s parents. He’s finally given them something true that they didn’t know about their son.

Only then, before the current school year ends, does Zoe invite Evan to an apple orchard and they reminisce about what might’ve been.

Does It Improve Evan Hansen and the Story?

The clear implication for adding these sequences, plus a song that the real Connor Murphy character can sing, is intended to fix the moral and thematic slipperiness at the heart of Dear Evan Hansen. Through a series of hummable ballads by songwriters Benji Pasek and Justin Paul, and some heartbreaking performances, including by Platt in the original cast, the stage production relies on the power of its emotions to overwhelm logic or deeper analysis. Some might even say it manipulates.

Yet over the years, the musical has had its fair share of detractors who pointed out how calculating and toxic the Evan Hansen character can appear. And the fact the musical just ends on the emotional high point without actually bothering to sift through the wreckage of what Evan did has always been a cheat.

Conversely, there are a few fleeting sequences in the stage version where the musical at least briefly seems to consider its darker implications. Evan’s loose group of (bad) friends in Alana and Jared contribute to this element in the song “Good for You,” where they sing in unison, “Well, I guess if I’m not of use, go ahead, you can cut me loose. Go ahead now, I won’t mind.”

The Alana relationship is particularly interesting in the show since it is only after she demands of Evan “how” will he raise $17,000 that he shows her Connor’s “suicide note.” He immediately protests after she decides to post it online, but did he not on some level show it to her in order for her to use it to raise $17,000 and reopen the apple orchard? After this scene, Alana ghosts him, suggesting she was herself only using Evan to brandish her social clout in the school and, eventually, her college applications.

The Dear Evan Hansen movie tries to wipe even this thorniness away. The context of Evan showing the note to Alana is handled slightly differently, but as a consequence there’s no ambiguity on why he showed it to her—he did not intend for her to share it online. She also, like Evan, is softened around the edges when she does answer Evan’s ringing phone on-screen and cries that she tried to take the letter down but it’s still all over social media.

The logic behind the change would seem to make both Evan and Alana more purely sympathetic and blameless for their mistakes. In Alana’s case, she isn’t a master manipulator, and in Evan’s case it is beyond his control when others take things too far. He then puts in the work to help the Murphys, beginning by admitting to the world his dishonesty.

Read more

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By David Crow

TV

Hawkeye Trailer Finally Brings Captain America Musical to the Stage

By David Crow

These were obviously conscious choices made after the five years and full lifetime which passed since 2016—a year where Barack Obama was still president and the #MeToo movement hadn’t yet occurred. Now in an age where social accountability, especially in online life, and alleged authenticity are valued more than ever, having a hero who lies to the world and gets away with it is inherently problematic. So the flaws in Evan’s choices, and even Alana’s, are “fixed” with crocodile tears of regret from Alana, and then Evan making an actual effort to atone for his mistakes.

Yet I would argue it doesn’t actually improve the fundamental issues with the musical. In the case of Alana, having a character show the ugly side of social manipulation, even among ostensibly sympathetic figures, was one of the truer impulses in a story that otherwise glorifies the healing power of finding validation from strangers on the internet. While both the film and show also depict the downside of online life with a discordant singing hydra coming after the Murphys, it’s only because of a couple of misguided mistakes. And in the case of the stage show, the larger message is Evan’s musical platitudes are simply too powerful (or profitable) for the Murphys to shatter.

In 2021, Evan and his creators make the choice that he can admit his mistakes. Yet the story still attempts to justify Evan’s actions, which ironically puts the film at odds with itself. It basks in the splendor of Evan’s self-help ballad, “You Will Be Found,” and then shows him suffering comeuppance for lying—even if Zoe still gives him final absolution.

The one significant change that clicks for me is Evan at least seeking out some hidden truth about Connor, and sharing it with the real people who actually loved him instead of strangers, who in turn would only again offer performative gestures and signaled virtue toward a kid they otherwise ignored. Hearing Colton Ryan’s Connor sing for himself—for the first time in any medium—and not merely be a puppet for Evan’s self-serving fantasies was a significant, moving improvement over how this thread is resolved on the stage.

Still, I think going further in that direction with Evan realizing the crassness of what he created, and the emptiness of his bromides, would’ve made this a more interesting narrative. But what do I know? My instincts wouldn’t have turned this into a Broadway anthem for Generation Z. So how about yourself? Do you like the new ending to Dear Evan Hansen?

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The post How Dear Evan Hansen Changes the Musical’s Ending appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2ZlN281

[odaatlover]

Mrs. Nicole Earp walks in on a very intimate moment between her daughter and a vibrator. She runs to Waverly in a panic, who has to ease her wife into the idea that their little girl can’t stay little forever.

*Note: All prompts will be tagged as “weprompt” and smutty prompts will be tagged as “taco”

———

“Well that was boring,” Nicole said with an eye roll as she followed her wife through the front door.

Waverly backhanded the redhead in the upper arm. “Don’t be disrespectful! School open houses are important and we should be grateful to be given the opportunity to meet our daughter’s teachers and hear how well she’s doing in their classes.”

Nicole narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.

Waverly pursed her lips in an attempt to hold in her thoughts, but the dam inevitably broke. “And it was boring,” she finally breathed out in defeat.

“Incredibly boring!”

“So, so boring.” Waverly shook her head as she groaned. “I mean, does Kaitlyn Wagner really have to ask that same question every year? Of course you have to leave your son’s medication with the school nurse! The rules aren’t just going to magically change over the summer!”

“Right?! And what’s with those horrible cookies they always have? You can’t eat bricks! I swear they’re in cahoots with the dental industry.” Nicole scowled as she shook her head. “I mean, is it so wrong to just want a soft, moist cookie that melts in your mouth?” Nicole huffed out in frustration.

The corners of Waverly’s mouth turned up in an amused smile as she stepped towards the agitated redhead and wrapped her arms around the woman’s neck, threading her hands through the light red hair – something she knew her wife loved. “Aw, baby, do you want me to make you some cookies tonight?”

With her hands resting on the shorter woman’s hips, Nicole sighed as she looked up in thought. “I shouldn’t. You know I can’t eat just one of your cookies, and I need to watch my figure.”

“I’ll watch your figure for you.” Waverly smirked as she dropped her hands down to Nicole’s backside and gave it a firm slap.

“Oh,” Nicole grinned as she tightened her grip on Waverly’s hips. “Well in that case, make me all the cookies.”

“Okay,” Waverly chuckled lightly. “How about you go check on our daughter to make sure she’s still alive, and I’ll make my world-famous double chocolate chunk cookies?”

Nicole’s eyelids fluttered in ecstasy as she inhaled through her nose, as if she could already smell the delicious baked goods. “Deal.” She quickly smacked Waverly’s butt, earning an unamused ‘hey!’ from the brunette before running off towards the stairs to escape the expected retaliation. 

She gave a couple of quick knocks on her daughter’s door while simultaneously pushing it open. “Hey nugget, we’re home!” She sang with a grin, but as soon as she laid eyes on the girl, she froze.

“Mom!” Noelle yelled from her bed as she quickly shut off the vibrator and yanked the small silver bullet out of her cotton sleep shorts.

Nicole stared at the vibrator in her daughter’s hands as she let it all sink in. She tightened her grip on the metal door knob, hoping that it would somehow help keep her grounded. And after what felt like several minutes – but was really only a few short seconds –  Nicole finally regained control over her motor functions.

“Sorry!” She exclaimed without making eye contact with her daughter before hastily reversing out of the room and shutting the door. With her hand still on the knob, she stared at the door as she felt panic begin to ensue, and sprinted down the stairs and towards the kitchen, where she immediately began to pace.

Waverly cut off the hand mixer and looked behind her with a raised eyebrow. “Everything okay?”

Nicole paused and opened her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it before continuing her oscillating stride, only this time with a hand over her forehand.

Waverly abandoned the mixing bowl and shuffled towards her wife. “What’s wrong? Noelle is alive, isn’t she?” She was mostly joking, but the mama bear part of her had to be sure.

With a breathy chuckle, Nicole fervently nodded her head. “Oh, she’s alive alright.”

Waverly drew her eyebrows together in confusion as she shook her head. She reached out and grabbed Nicole’s shoulders, stopping the perturbed woman from her constant movement. “Babe, sit down. You’re stressing me out.”

The redhead plopped down in the kitchen chair as she stared blankly off into space.

With a concerned look, Waverly lovingly rubbed Nicole’s forearm that was resting on the table in order to calm the officer down. “What’s wrong? What happened? Talk to me.”

Nicole slowly turned her head the small distance until her eyes landed on Waverly’s before saying, “Noelle found your vibrator.”

Waverly leaned back a little with raised eyebrows at the unexpected confession. “What was she doing with it?”

Nicole pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes as she gave Waverly a knowing look.

Waverly slowly nodded her head. “Ah, gotcha. Well, which one was it?”

“Bullet.”

Waverly continued to nod as she calmly exhaled through her nose before scrunching her eyebrows as a thought popped into her head. “Do you think she cleaned it before using it?”

Nicole hardened her gaze at the brunette. “Seriously? That’s what you’re concerned about?”

“Well, I don’t want her to get a UTI or anything…” Waverly shrugged.

“Waverly, I just walked in on our daughter—” she paused as she looked around at the stairs before turning back and continuing in a hushed voice, “masturbating.”

“Better you than me,” Waverly replied with a light chuckle as she relaxed in her chair and casually folded her arms across her chest.

Nicole’s mouth popped open at the unexpected response. “How are you so calm about this? She’s too young to be thinking about stuff like that!”

Waverly rolled her eyes as she dropped her arms. “Nic, she’s fourteen. She’s not exactly a baby anymore. She’s a young wom—”

“Don’t say it,” Nicole interrupted with closed eyes as she held up her hand. “She’s not anywhere close to being a woman yet.”

Waverly quirked an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Tell that to her menstrual cycle that started nearly two years ago, and the professional bra fitting that I had to take her to…alone.” She gave her wife a knowing look.

Nicole shook her head. “I don’t care about that stuff. I can handle that. But sex? I’m not ready for her to be thinking about sex. She’s still our little nugget.”

“Honey, it’s going to happen whether you’re ready for it to or not. She’s a teenager, and she’s in high school now. Her hormones are all over the place, and I can guarantee you that it probably wasn’t the first time she’s touched herself.”

Nicole winced at the words. 

“Besides, I thought we were trying to be the type of parents that encouraged sexual development?”

“We are. I just wasn’t ready for this yet.” Nicole dropped her forehead down onto the table with a groan as Waverly supportively rubbed the back of her head. “She’s having orgasms. Which means she knows how good they feel, which means she no longer thinks sex is gross. And pretty soon, she’s going to have a girlfriend, or boyfriend—”

“Or a non-binary partner,” Waverly added pointedly.

Nicole lifted her head off the table with a nod. “Right, or a non-binary partner, and she’s going to start having sex with them, and I can’t handle the thought of someone else touching our precious little girl.”

“Nicole, my love,” Waverly wrapped her hands around both of Nicole’s as the redhead looked up at her with sad, brown eyes, resembling that of a puppy. “Noelle is fourteen. Fourteen. And in three months, she’ll be fifteen. She’s not a little girl anymore; she’s a young adult, who has a normal, healthy sex drive and a curiosity for how her body works. And the sooner you accept that, the better and the more open your relationship with her is going to be. This is the age where she’s figuring out who she is, and if you try to suppress her growth because you’re too afraid to let go of the idea that’s she’s still a baby, I can guarantee that it’s going to do more harm than good for both of you. So, Nicole Rayleigh Earp Haught, I love you, but if you don’t get on board with this I will fight you. And I may be small, but I’m scrappy, so you really don’t want that. Understood?”

With an amused chuckle, Nicole shook her head as she looked at the woman she first fell in love with twenty years ago. “Yes ma’am. Understood.”

“Good.” Waverly replied with a terse nod before sporting a small smile.

Nicole puffed out her cheeks as she dramatically blew out a gust of air. “I walked in on our daughter masturbating.” She shook her head. “That’s surely one for the parenting books.”

“I’m sure that she’s more traumatized than you are.”

Nicole nodded. “We have to talk to her, don’t we…”

“Yeah, we do,” Waverly replied with sympathetic eyes. “But, we’ll do it together.”

Nicole smiled as she gently squeezed the warm hands that were still lovingly wrapped around hers. “Together.”

[loganssweettooth]

Little Logan pt. 4

A/N: i meant to write this two days ago oops ;;^^

Tag List: @pastel-aesthetics-blog @i-just-punched-malfoy @authordrawingmusic @bloodropsblog @ab-artist @groverpal @hanramz-the-fander @lowkeyvirgilobsessed @kaitlyn-says-hello @violetmcl

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

Warnings: age regression/nonsexual little, food mentions

It was a fairly calm day in the mindscape, albeit a bit hot and muggy.  Logan sat in the common room with the others, relieved for a day spent to just relax.

Patton sat with Roman on the floor, the two playing some board game that the brain didn’t bother to know the name of while Virgil laid on the opposite end of the sofa from Logan, headphones on and music blasting loud enough in his ears that Logan could hear it from where he sat.  The music made it hard to focus on his book, but at this point Logan was far too comfortable where he sat to even attempt to get up and move to his room.

As he turned the page, still trying desperately to get into his book, there was a low rumble from outside.  Four heads jerked up and glanced toward the windows, and Roman got to his feet to check outside.  “Wow, what a cloud!” Roman said, whistling before he moved the curtains back and cracked the window open.  “Looks like we might get an afternoon storm!”

A flash of lightning lit up the sky and another rumble of thunder sounded just before rain started to hammer against the house.  Both Virgil and Logan jumped at the sudden sounds, which just attracted Roman and Patton’s gazes.  Virgil relaxed quicker into the sounds, only startled, while Logan still sat tense with his book dropped in his lap.

“Lo, you alright?” Patton asked, but Logan didn’t move.  He didn’t move or try to speak; he just sat frozen in his spot.  A big flash of lightning lit up the room, and a clap of thunder sounded loud and proud, and Logan finally moved, granted he jumped with a cry and shoved his head under Virgil’s arm, shaking and clawing his way into the anxious side’s jacket.

“Hey, hey, Lo, what’s the matter?” Virgil tugs him out from under his arm, tugging the logical side onto his lap fully while Logan clings to his shoulders and buries his face into Virgil’s neck.  Thunder sounded loud and mean overhead once again, and Logan cried out again, tightening his hold on Virgil.  “You scared, bud?” Virgil asked, keeping his voice calm and steady.  Logan whimpered against his neck and nodded, and all three other sides could feel their hearts break for the poor thing.

The worst part for Logan was that he knew the storm couldn’t hurt him; it was illogical to believe it even could.  He was inside, safe and sound, but he still felt helpless and scared, so he clung to Virgil even tighter, his toes curling and his legs brought up so all of him was on the anxious side.

Virgil tried to soothe him down, rubbing Logan’s back and keeping his arms wrapped tight around him while the storm continued to sound and flash through the windows.  “You want your paci?” Virgil asked finally, noticing that Logan was still trembling in his arms with each new crackle of thunder.  Logan whimpered out a yes, so Roman ran off to grab it while Patton got up to sit beside the two.

“It’s OK, Lo, you’re safe in here.  The big bad storm won’t hurt you, we promise!” Patton tried, rubbing Logan’s arm to try to soothe him.  Logan simply whimpered in response and curled up further, his only form of communication apparently being small whines.  Finally, Roman came back in with his pacifier, and he pressed it to Logan’s lips for him to take, mussing the brain’s hair when he accepted it.

“Hey, Virgil, give me your phone for a minute,” Roman said, and Virgil just looked up at him in confusion.

“Why would I do that?”

“Just give it here; I have an idea!” Roman held out his hand expectantly, and Virgil just sighed and took his phone out of his hoodie pocket, plopping it in his hand.  Roman quickly pulled up Youtube and found some soft music, which spilled from Virgil’s headphones in an instant.  It was only then that Virgil understood what he was doing, and he fixed the headphones over Logan’s ears.

All sounds of the storm were replaced by soothing music, and Logan felt himself starting to relax.  He slumped against Virgil heavily, turning in his lap until he could simply tuck his head under Virgil’s chin.

Virgil smiled at him and fixed his bangs, pressing a kiss to Logan’s forehead.  “There we go, bud,” he whispered, knowing full and well that Logan couldn’t hear him. The storm passed a few minutes later, leaving just a light shower pattering against the house.

Logan didn’t fall asleep; he couldn’t force himself to. So, once he noticed the storm had passed, he sheepishly tugged the headphones off his ears, looking around to the three other sides.  “Sorry…” he mumbled around his pacifier, feeling silly for reacting so strongly.

“It’s alright, honey,” Patton said, patting the top of Logan’s hand.  “You want some juice, or a snack?”

Logan shrunk back against Virgil, whining a bit.  He still wasn’t quite used to being little around the other two, and it was a bit embarrassing.  “Um…mhm…”

Patton gave him a light giggle.  “Which one, honey?  Or both?”

“Both,” Logan said quietly, blushing before hiding his face back in Virgil’s neck.

As Patton got to his feet, giggling and shaking his head, Virgil decided to chime in for a moment.  “His sippy cups are with his coffee mugs, Pat,” he said, “try the Scooby Doo one!”  And, while Patton fixed up Logan’s sippy cup and got snacks for them all, Roman plopped down on the sofa, scooting Virgil to the middle cushion, and turned on the TV to find something to watch.  Logan was glad they weren’t fixated on him, weren’t fussing over him, and he was happy to stay little all evening (even if Patton did try to feed him mac’n’cheese; he could feed himself!).

[impertfectedchoices]

I Promise - PT.2

Prompt: In a Heartbeat Ship: James X MC POV: (Point of View): James Word Count: 1,614 Tags:

@hhiggs | @destinio1 | @marryjanewaston

Artist Comment: WE BACK! So after going on such a long excursion, I’ve returned! With some treats.

Or maybe this isn’t muuch of a treat, since I’m gonna be bringing back the ANGST! I plan to up the ante with this one. Make it more dramatic. Not even gonna lie, tapping into this, I got a little emotional writing it. 😪 This really hits home, and one of the saddest things I wrote. Yea, I cried. 🤧

PS, I’m writing this on a whim. No planning, drafting, or prethinking about plot before I write….

Let’s hope this goes well!

•

7:15pm

Please be okay

Messenger bag still slung around me, I pulled into the closest parking spot, climbed out the car, urgently slamming the door shut.

Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay.

As I quickly approached the building, all my mind could focus on was on her. Nothing else at this point mattered.

Tunnel visioned, I walked straight toward the check in desk.

“Hello, how may I help you?” Unaware that I’d been shaking as much as I was, I silently cleared the anxiousness from my throat, in attempts to keep my voice from cracking. Finally, I put on the smile I’d been used to having during situations like this.

“Hello,” I took a pause to look for a name tag. “Gwen, and, uh, yes you can. I need to know what room MC is currently in. She was taken here an hour ago and I’m just now arriving to see her, it’s urgent.” I could still feel my anxiety creep in progressively as I held onto the counter.

“Well I may need you to fill out this for-“ “Ma’am, I need to see her as soon as humanly possible. I’m sorry, but I can’t waste time filling out papers. I don’t know how much time I have left.” She looked up at me; taken aback. Guilt plunged deeper as I heard something unfamiliar come from my mouth after speaking - a crack. I have no recollection of my nerves getting the better of me to this extent. I started feeling less & less like myself. The calm and collected Ashton “heir,” that had not let anything get to him. It appeared more and more like a facade. It had been harder to keep my easygoing composure. This fear that’d suddenly sprung up on me…

“Sir.” My eyes cleared and focused back on her trying to regain my attention. “This is a ho-spi-tal. And I know you may not get that, so let me explain it to you.” The last thing I wanted to do was argue, not in the head space I was in. “I’m sorry miss, but I understand where I am. I just need to get to my friend before it’s too-“ She threw her hand up at my face, as if to hush me.

Her responses started sounding more belittling than helpful, with little to no reassurance in her tone. “Hospitals are not jungle gyms. I’m not sure what hospitals you’ve been to, but in this one, we run this establishment with organization.” The more she spoke, the less I cared about what she’d been saying. It grew more appealing to just walk through the doors without her permission. “…else waited. So I don’t care if whoever it is was on their deat-“ Just as I moved to walk away, I felt a hand grab the side of my shoulder. “Hey, yeah I apologies for the trouble. He’s with me.” The hand stretches out their arm towards the woman to show her their wristband, as I turn to see who it was. The woman reluctantly jotted in her notebook as she handed a wristband to me. “Your name?” She mumbled. “James.” Zig spoke for me after seeing my irritated expression, nudging me toward the double doors. He grabbed the wristband as I advanced passed.

“Yea, sorry about back there.” Zig seemed to had caught up to me, without too much effort. “The people here seem not to give a damn about emergencies.” He said nonchalantly, giving me a half-reassuring smile. I appreciated it. Sighing, I tried putting one on too, seemingly while still speed walking. “I noticed. She clearly didn’t understand how extreme of a situation this was for me…” the silence seemed to fall naturally. The atmosphere hospitals tend to exude it; urgency, nervousness, and absentmindedness. “Well, I’ve had my handful of experiences with hospitals…” He said breaking the silence. “…the longer people work here, the less they care about the patients-“ “They numb us out.” I said almost subconsciously. “Exactly.” I wasn’t 100% sure, but I could’ve sworn I picked up a hint of grief in his tone. I could relate. “Actually, how did you find me?” I’d completely forgotten that he came out of nowhere, literally. But, Then again, I wasn’t completely focused on my surroundings. “I was outside, at the front. I don’t really mesh with hospitals all that much…“ Made sense. “Plus, I was kind of getting anxious. You know, with MC. Needed a breather, and a smoke.” I let out a halfhearted chucking as we passed several familiar halls. I couldn’t pinpoint it, my mind being on so many things regardless.

“But I did see you, or maybe, a glimpse of you.” Had I been walking that fast? “By the time I glanced up from my phone, the door was already open. I didn’t think nothin’ of it until I looked up again, and saw your car parked up front;” New York license plate? “… New York license plate.” He’s more observant than I’d given him credit for. He always seemed laid back to really care much about anything. Shouldn’t have judged him so much spring semester. “Oh, you’ll need this by the way.” He hands me the wristband, taking it thankfully; I wrap it around my wrist. “Thanks Zig.” “Don’t mention it.”

Within a few minutes, and down several halls, I spotted familiar faces in the central waiting area of sectioned rooms. I noticed Becca first, dressed in her work uniform, pacing back and forth in the corner, with Madison - dressed in her volunteer scrubs standing on one end, trying to calm her down. I could catch grimaces of what she’d been saying, though she had been talking fast, “They won’t let me see her, what kind of ragtag hospital is this?” Zach had been sitting, holding a teary-eyed Kaitlyn by her shoulders, consoling her. When I walked up, I started to notice how swollen & red her eyes were. When she noticed me, her eyes got watery, and she’d bolted up, hugging me. Hugging her back, It was the last thing I expected she’d do, but when I looked down at Zach, the expression he gave me made my heart ache, then panic.

“Kaitlyn, what’s going on?” She drew back, wiping her eyes. It took her a minute to speak. “She… she wouldn’t wake up James. I d-don’t know what happened. I was t-t-there for her the ent-ire time. I-she wouldn’t wa-ake up… She w-ouldn’t ge-t up. I tr-ied everything p-p-possible. She w-wouldn’t mo-ove J-J-James. I d-don’t know w-what I di-d w-wro-ng.” I could feel her shaking in my arms, trying to speak through the stutters and hiccups. I pulled her back into my arms, hearing her weeping, sobs growing as I rubbed her back, feeling myself grow more terrified. Looking back at Zach, he’d looked like he’d been crying too, but was holding his composure better, at least her was now.

“Kaitlyn and I rode the ambulance here, while Chris went to pick up Becca up from Uskea, since she didn’t have a way to come here.” Looking over to Becca again, she’d now been tearing up. And part of her had been fuming that she was getting emotional in the first place. Madison never left her side. Grabbing my attention once more, Zach continued. “We got here and they’ve had her in that room this whole time.” My eyes moved subconsciously at the door, trying to relax my breathing. “I know t-t-his hurts James, it h-hu-hurts me t-t-too.” I heard muffling coming from Kaitlyn, still sobbing, but since has lessened. I choked back my want to cry as well, hearing her say that, but could tell my eyes were growing more glassy. “They called Chris to the side and are talking to him now. Haven’t heard any news yet.” Trying to wrap everything together, and clear the confusion only made me more sick to my stomach & dizzy. Mid-thought, The door glided open, and as my eyes jetted to the noise, Chris stepped out. He’d looked even more exhausted than I’ve ever seen him. Once seeing everyone, he attempted to clean himself up; clearing his throat, and taking a breath.

“Hey James,” he said walking over towards us, waving Becca & Madison over. His voices had been hoarse and strained. I nodded at him as Kaitlyn looked up. “W-what happening Chris?” After a pause that felt like ages, he cleared his throat one more time before speaking, not having the heart to look anyone in the eyes, but his gaze fixed on his fiddling hands. “Uh… the doctor…” Pausing, he glanced up around at everyone, sighing, then returning his eyes to his hands. I could physically feel my heart shatter & break, every heartbeat that pounded in my chest.

“She, she caught a rare case of Meningitis. She’s in a coma right now… um… fighting to stay alive.”

I felt tears roll down my face as he choked up, dropping his head into his hands. My mind went blank, the room sunk back, as my emotions took full control. The numbing began.

•LAST •NEXT

[lolablackwrites]

Busy Schedules - James x MC

Summary: MC (Dani) realizes the toll her busy schedule is taking on her relationship with her live-in boyfriend, James.

Notes: This a fic requested by @destinio1 from the Types of Kisses prompt list, #4: the in the moment kiss. I apologize that James is still a little bit of a Bad Luck Brian in this one, but I think his luck is improving ;-) Thanks for the request, I hope you enjoy it! :-)

Also, to those of you who have requested kiss fics from me–they’re all coming, I promise! I’m writing them in the order in which I received them and I promise to get to them all :-) Thank you for your requests! <3

Fanfic Master List

Dani glanced around the living, trying to remember everything she needed as she shoved her papers and laptop in her bag. Books, articles, notebook, computer . . . she silently chanted to herself. Crap, what was it that Zack needed me to bring? Dani racked her brain, but couldn’t remember. Was it a CD? A movie? A book? Dani shook her head. Oh well. She didn’t have time to text him before she left, she was already late as it is. She’s just have to get it later. Dani slung her back over her shoulder and hurried for the front door of the apartment. She grabbed her jacket and flung open the door, where she smacked straight into James.

“Whoa!” James exclaimed as he caught her before they both went crashing to the floor. “Where’s the fire?”

“Sorry, hi, I’m just late, I have to go,” Dani said quickly, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Hey, hold on a second,” James said as he caught her arm.

“I’m sorry, I can’t, I have to go,” Dani said.

“Go where?”

“James, I’m busy! I’m sorry!” Dani said as she turned to leave.

“We had plans tonight, remember?” James said.

“What are you--” Dani started, and then stopped. Oh, shit. “Oh my god. I totally forgot, I’m so sorry.”

James sighed, exasperated.

“Seriously, Dani? We made these plans a week ago. You promised we’d spend some time together.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, I’ve just been--”

“Busy. Yeah, I know,” James finished for her. He turned away and headed into the apartment. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

“James, wait,” Dani said, following him into their apartment and closing the door behind them. “Look, I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are,” James said. “You’re always sorry, but that doesn’t make this any easier. Dani, I never see you anymore.”

“James, we live together,” Dani countered. “We work on the paper together, how can you say we never see each other?”

“You’re never here!” James exclaimed. “You always get back late, you leave early, and it feels like whenever I see you, it’s just in passing while you’re running off to somewhere else. You’re always tutoring Zack or helping Kaitlyn with her band or taking on yet another article for the paper--”

“For you, my editor,” Dani interjected angrily.

“--and it feels like you’re constantly babysitting Becca,” James continued.

“She’s going through a really rough time!” Dani said. “She doesn’t really have anyone else!”

“Did it ever occur to you that that’s her own fault?” James asked. “She pushes away everyone away!”

“All the more reason why she needs someone to stick by her!” Dani yelled, her voice growing louder in the apartment.

“What’s the point of us living together if you choose everyone else over me?” James yelled back. Dani stared at James, really looked at him for the first time in . . . what, days? Weeks? She saw the crease in his brow, the hard line of his mouth, but most of all she saw the hurt in his eyes. Without thinking about it, Dani dropped her bag to the floor, she wrapped her arms around James, and she kissed him.

He didn’t respond at first and for one horrible second, Dani thought he might push her away. But then he kissed her back, pulling her close. Dani pushed all other thoughts from her mind and let herself sink into the kiss in a way she felt she hadn’t really done in ages. His mouth was warm and familiar and as she kissed him, Dani realized exactly how much she’d been missing him too.

“I’m sorry,” Dani whispered into his ear when they finally broke apart, still holding him tightly.

“No, I’m sorry,” James said. “I shouldn’t have yelled, I just . . . I love you so much and I miss you. I’m proud of you for being such a hard worker and I think you’re an amazing friend--even to Becca. I guess I’ve just been feeling . . . I don’t know. Left out.”

“James, I don’t ever want you to feel like that,” Dani said. “You’re my favorite person and I love you. And I’m really sorry I forgot about our date night tonight, I really am.”

“I know you are,” James said softly, kissing her forehead. “And it’s okay. Really.”

“Hey, I’ll tell you what,” Dani said. “I promised Zack I’d help him with his paper and that I’d help Kaitlyn’s band set up tonight. But as soon as I help them load their stuff into the club, I won’t stay for the show, I’ll come home.”

“No, it’s okay, you promised Kaitlyn you’d help her,” James said. He pulled back so he could look her in the eyes. “Really, I mean it. It’s okay.”

“And I’ll help her set up, but I won’t stay. Kaitlyn will understand,” Dani insisted.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, absolutely,” Dani said, tracing the curve of his jaw with a fingertip.

“Okay,” James said, a smile spreading across his face. “Want me to cook?”

Dani shook her head.

“Nope. Why don’t we just order pizza, open a bottle of wine, and watch a movie here?”

James gave her a sly grin and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Are you proposing we . . . Netflix and chill?” he asked. Dani laughed.

“Maybe,” she said innocently. Dani kissed James again, his hands in her hair, and she reached for the buckle on his belt.

“Hey, now,” James said. “I thought you were going to be late.”

“Oh, I’m already late,” Dani said. “But I think Zack can wait an extra fifteen minutes.”

James grinned and picked her up, kissing her deeply. She wrapped her legs around him and he carried her into their bedroom, kicking the door closed behind them with a decisive bang.

[2indecisive4this-blog]

Poison Ivy

“I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor”

Request 85 

Kaitlyn x MC

Funny, fluffy?

***

You release a dramatic yawn, your shoulders arching as you thoroughly stretch each your tired limbs. Your eyes crack slowly open. Your eyes widen and rogue scream escapes from the confines of your lungs.

As opposed to your normal routine of waking up to Kaitlyn’s beautiful, delicate features, you’re alarmed to find large, twizzler-red lips replacing the soft pink ones you’re used to. Her eyelids swollen shut and her skin is puckered and pink. She jerks awake suddenly, startled by your shriek.

“What?!”

You can tell she’s trying to read your face, but you honestly can’t tell if her eyes are open through her swollen eyelids.

“Uhh Kait?”

She scratches her face furiously. “Yeah?”

“ Can you breathe..?”

“Yeah, I can breathe just fine, but these new black-out curtains are strong”

“Kait..” you stifle a laugh “It’s not the curtains..”

“Huh?” She pauses her scratching.

You lift your bedside mirror before her. She resumes scratching with one hand while pulling the mirror close to view herself through squinting eyes. You throw your head back in a laugh as her eyes widen, finally becoming visible.

“HOLY CRAP!” she shrieks “Is that really me?!”

You nod your head frantically, struggling for breath as you howl in laughter.

“Please tell me something just ate me in my sleep and that’s what I’m looking at!”

Laughing every other word “I wish..” You wipe a tear from under your eye “I could..tell you..that was..the case”

She grabs either side of your head between her palms, allowing you an unabridged view of her situation.

“This is serious!” Her voice cracks between words “I’m a tomato!”

Your teeth gnaw painfully on your lower lip as you bite back building shrieks of laughter. You control it long enough to respond “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you see a doctor”

“Well what the hell are we waiting for?!” She leaps to her feet, your collar gripped in a clenched fist “Now!”

You swallow, complying, quickly getting to your feet and running at her heels toward the door.

***

“Poison ivy?!” Kaitlyn shrieks. Your fingers plunge into your ears, muffling her piercing yells

“How the shit did I get that?!”

“Have you spent any time in the wilderness recently?” The doctor inquires

“Well.. we spent some quality time on a wilderness picnic last week..” You chirp in.

And quality indeed..

You smile to yourself, remembering it fondly.

Kaitlyn, clawing feverishly at all exposed skin, snaps “Well it sure as shit wasn’t worth this”

“You kids…” the doctor muses “You know, a blanket goes a long way..”

Kaitlyn turns in your direction.

Is she looking at me? Shit, I honest to god can’t tell.

Though her facial expression proves indiscernible amidst the swelling, the context and harsh, seething, tone of her voice more than tell you she’s pissed.

“Then how come you didn’t get it?!” 

You shrug, raising your hands defensively, creating a buffer between her you and her antagonizing extended finger.

“I..I don’t kn--”

“An estimated 1 in 10 are immune” The doctor explains “Maybe your friend here is one of them?”

Well shit.

***

After picking up several prescription drugs, including various topical creams and oral medications, you head home. Kaitlyn takes a running start, prepping herself to hop into your bed when you interrupt her;

“Kait,” she turns to face you “The bed could be covered in poison ivy, so unless you want it to spread..” She sighs, blowing tired raspberries your direction.

“To the cubicle!” 

You grin, stumbling eagerly behind as she drags you by the wrist.

***

Kaitlyn hops onto her bed, fingernails digging absentmindedly into her skin all the while.

“Honey…” You lower yourself onto the bed, leaning over her sprawled figure.

“Hmm?”

“You have to stop scratching” You insist, gently taking her dainty wrists in your hands “You’ll scar”

“Pffffff” She rips her hands away; one jumping to attend to the back of her neck, while the other scratches the underside of her exposed elbow.

“Kaitlyn, I’m serious”

“And I’m seriously itchy!” She snaps “But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

Ouch. She has a point.

Your hand finds its way to the back of your neck, scratching nervously as you choose your next words carefully.

“Alright, alright. Fair enough” You reach into the crumpled white pharmacy bag “Will you at least apply your meds first? You know, before skinning yourself alive?”

“Hey I’d love to pay tribute to ‘Skin Goblins’..” she muses “After all, it was my favorite goblin mo--” 

Her words make way for thin groans as you begin massaging lotion into her steaming skin.

She must be a thousand degrees..

“--so.....cold....” Her words escape in staggered moans as she shudders at your touch.

Your lips curve into a smirk as your fingers make their way up her abdomen, rubbing the lotion into her hot skin.

“Mm…”

Wow..she’s really covered.

You slowly make your way up to her neck, pausing to adjust for a better angle. One of your hands moves to reach out for facial cream while the other lightly scratches the back of the first. 

Why is there a special face lotion, anyway?

“Noo..” she pouts “Not my face, it’s too cold..”

She puts up little reluctance, however, allowing you to easily straddle her waist. You lean comfortably over her and ready the lotion.

Using your thumbs, you begin at her chin, rubbing spiraling circles into her skin, spreading out to her cheeks and growing over her nose.

Her body relaxes, her increasingly rhythmic breathing intoxicating.

Your fingers gently rub her ears, then crawl up the bridge of her nose to press gently into her forehead.

“Mm…”

Your lips slip into an easy smile as wriggles gently, cozying herself amidst her bedding. You lean down and place a light kiss on her forehead. Your lips tingle. You suppress a gag.

Big mistake.

The lotion tastes bad.

After hastily wiping your tongue on your arm, your fingernails follow, dragging across reddening skin. 

Sweat tastes better than hydrocorti..hydro cuticle..hydrodynamic...whatever, poison ivy cream

You tap your index finger lightly atop the tip of her nose.

“Boop”

She smiles softly, her eyes opening slightly to gaze into yours.

“Hey”

“Hey”

“Do you still love me in tomato form?”

“You’re not a tomato..” You press your lips lightly against hers, tingling sensation returning. You suppress another gag “..You’re a sweet little cherry”

“Even still?”

“Yes, but let’s hold off kissing..” You smile tiredly.

“Oh.” Her eyes drop from your gaze to the fingers she now kneads anxiously. Yours match hers, digging roughly into skin above your knuckles.

Ahhh

“..You’re still sweet, but the cream you’re covered in sure aren’t”

She gives you a smirk, playfully shoving you off of her to plop heavily to the bed beside.

“Hey!” You scratch indignantly behind your ear. She turns to face you, uncertainty clouding her beautiful, dark eyes.

“I’m sorry, about before..” She begins slowly, concern creeping through her lips.

“For what?” You lift an eyebrow quizzically, a fingernail lifting to scratch around it.

God damn it..

“For snapping at you like that” She takes your hand tentatively, her eyes glistening nervously back at you “I don’t really want you to be itchy too, I just--”

You place a finger assertively to her lips.

“It’s okay, I understand”

She shakes her head, and your finger, loose, allowing it to scribble with convolution across the bridge of your nose.  

“No, it isn’t. Just because I’m itchy doesn’t mean I should wish the same hell unto you, you know?”

You nod appreciatively “And if it makes you feel any better..” Your nails dig feverishly into your cheek, leaving burning trails of mercy.

Ahhhhhhh...

“It was the itch talking, I swear” she continues “I don’t want you to be--”

“..I think I’m getting it too”

“--itchy”

***

Your nails dig furiously into all exposed skin as Kaitlyn squeals beside you, wriggling in glee against the dark purple bedding you picked out for her ages ago.

Still soft.. Guess she hasn’t made enough use of it to ruin it yet.

“Kaitlyn?” 

Her squealing subsides.

“Hmm?”

“Quit happy dancing” She looks to you indignantly, scoffing.

“Whaaaat? I don’t know what you’re--”

“You haven’t stopped squealing since I mentioned the itchiness”

“I’m not--”

“You’re wiggling!”

“Am not!” 

She pauses her wiggling briefly before resuming with equal, if not more, enthusiasm.

Yeah, right.

“It was funny for the first minute or two, but half an hour is excessive”

“I’m just scratching my back!”

“Against a down blanket?”

“Hey, this only has a thread count of 800!”

“It’s softer than a cloud!” 

You test it, wiggling to no avail against the cloud-like comforter.

I knew it..

***

“I have sensitive skin!”

***

[sccthctwistcdmuses-blog1]

                                              ⏭ THE MUN ⏮

Hey! If you’ve found this blog, then you most likely want to know a little more about the blogger before interacting with her muses, yeah? Well, I’m not that good at talking about myself, so I’ll try and give it a go here.

Q: What’s your name?

A: My name is Leah.

Q: How old are you?

A: 25

Q: How long have you been roleplaying?

A: Almost 7 years, with breaks. The last break I took was about two years ago and I’ve only recently gotten back into rps, so I might be a little bit rusty.

Q: Do you prefer paras or short one liners?

A: Honestly, it’s a mixture of both. I looooooove writing long and lengthy responses, but if my partner prefers shorter interactions, I can  get into it

Q: How often are you online?

A: Between work and real life stuff, not gonna lie, it’s probably every other day. But, I will reply to everything when I’m on. If I forget you, all you have to do is let me know.

Q: Preferred genres to rp?

A: Any of them, really. I lean heavily towards friendships / platonic, fluff/ smut though. Love writing fluff and smut, if you check my personal out soon, I’ll share a little that I’ve  written on there.

Q: Willing to rp with anyone outside your chosen fandom?

A: Babes, I will rp with anyone who asks. Anyone. If I don’t know about your fandom, that’s what the good old internets are for, right? I’ll do my research going into it.

Q: What are your triggers?

A: I have to say non con & rape like situations, incestuous / significant age difference relationships, abuse, – which I will occasionally still rp, and addiction, – which I will also still rp, just not in excess. Suicide is also a bit of a trigger for me, but I understand that some muses get down and they have depression and it can’t be avoided. I just won’t have my muses participating in negativity relating to addictions or suicide ( enabling and pushing another muse to commit suicide ). Also, I won’t have my muses in non consensual situations or incestuous ones or situations in which they’re abusing another muse emotionally or physically. Having said all this, some of my muses ( the original ones ) do have pasts that aren’t exactly clean / pure.  So basically, my hardlines are non con sex, incest. As long as you don’t want a plot about either thing, we’re good.

Q: Do you have any desired ships or opposites?

A: As far as desired ships, here ya go! The muses in italics are the ones I’ll be playing. These are ships I really want to try out! If you have one of the desired opposites, definitely hit me up!

Bayley + Finn

Dean + Alexa

Cass + Carmella

Seth + Carmella

Baron + Carmella

Nikki + Dolph

Nikki + Dean Ambrose

Nikki + Cesaro

Nikki + AJ Styles

Noam Dar + Alicia Fox

Alicia Fox + Ryback

Alicia Fox + TJ Perkins

Alexa Bliss + Baron Corbin

Alexa Bliss + Dean Ambrose

Dolph + OC

Dolph + Eva Marie

Dolph + Summer Rae

Eva Marie + Baron Corbin

Eva Marie + Roman Reigns

Eva Marie + Wade Barrett

Adam Cole +OC

Finn Balor + OC

OC + Baron Corbin

OC + Finn Balor

OC + Sami Zayn

OC + Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley

OC + Antonio Cesaro

OC + Sami Callihan

OC + Tye Dillinger

OC + TJ Perkins

OC + Noam Dar

OC + Adam Cole

OC + Kenny Omega

OC + Pete Dunne

OC + Jason Jordan

OC + Jeff Hardy

OC + Drew Galloway

OC + OC with Jon Bernthal, Norman Reedus, Fransisco Lachowski, Kiowa Gordon, Alex Meraz, Adam Driver, Aaron Taylor Johnson, Rory Culkin, Taylor Lautner, Tom Felton, Taylor Kitsch, Garrett Hedlund, Jeremy Renner,  Chris Evans, Charlie Hunnam, Chris Hemsworth , Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Matthew Daddario or Theo Rossi fc.

Q:Any undesired ships?

A: Aghh, I really hate answering this because I feel as if someone, somewhere, will be offended or feel attacked. But, I do have a few and here they are..

Dean Ambrose + AJ Lee

Dean Ambrose + Renee

AJ Lee + CM Punk

Lana + Rusev

Nikki + John Cena

Maryse + Miz

Kaitlyn + whoever she married

Eva + her SO

Eve Torres + her husband.

I’d like to note that the reason I’m anti – rping the above are because one is a ship I dislike (Dean + AJ) and the others are simply because the duos are already together IRL and I’m really just not interested in rping them as a couple online too. It sounds harsh but it’s the truth.

Q: Any undesired fcs or fcs you won’t RP with?

A: Honestly, no there aren’t. I have preferences, as stated above, but I’m generally open to anyone.

         ⏭ THE RULES & OTHER NEED TO KNOW STUFF ⏮

All of my muses are straight, no exception. It’s nothing against different sexualities, I just cannot write f/f or m/m and I know it’ll be like an accident waiting to happen if I try it again. I used to attempt writing it all the time and it wasn’t ever very good at all.

I ship on chemistry so please do not force a ship on me. You can ask about shipping our characters and given that I’m a ship whore the answer will most likely be a yes. But don’t just assume that will always be the case, IE, I play Dean Ambrose and I’d prefer not to ship with Renees unless there is excellent actual chemistry. Just because our characters are together on screen or people fan ship them, that doesn’t mean I will. I will ship with both canon muses and original ones, often preferring the latter over the former in all honesty.

We don’t have to be mutuals for you to tag one of my muses in a para or throw a starter out at them through my ask box or come into my dms to rp. I do ask that you specify what muse(s) you’re interested in beforehand because it makes my lazy life so much easier. If you don’t specify a muse I will pick one of my own choosing and I’m fairly sure that you won’t be happy with the choice because I suck at trying to match muse with muse. If you see a starter I’ve posted that you want to throw a muse in, do it. You don’t even have to ask. If you want to come into my inbox and discuss plotting with me, go for it. I’m open to any and all kinds of interactions, from friendships to family ships, especially relationships and even enemy ships. All that I ask is that you extend the same courtesy to me.

Limit of muses / potential ships we can have going at one time is 3. I put a limit on it so that we don’t get overwhelmed by paras back and forth. I have so many muses that honestly, I don’t think you’ll have a problem picking from them all.

I will rp smut. I will not rp smut with minors and all the smut I write will be tagged & placed under a read more so that it’s not just sitting out there on the dash.

I use minimal formatting, occasional uses of gifs / icons. I strikethrough things I don’t want your muse to react to / know about and I italicize thoughts. “Speech” is in quotations. This should clear up any misconceptions about what’s what in my replies. I do not expect the same of you, just do what’s going to make you comfortable. If you need me to change my formatting / gifs,icons, etc in any way, let me know and I’ll gladly do so.

Replies can take a while at times, but if I’m not going to be on, I’ll generally let my RP partners know before just vanishing unless I just can’t. If you haven’t gotten a reply from me, let me know because chances are, I overlooked/lost it in my notifications. For whatever reason, I can’t DM but

people can send me DMS, so drop me one.

[n0feelingsxx-blog]

do you like getting hickeys? only on my nek.

oral, do you like oral? i love receiving it, giving isn’t too bad either, but only do it for the right peron.

if you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Eminem

plan on getting drunk or high tonight? i’ve gotten drunk the past two nights, so not tonight tomorrow i will be tho

do you have any best friends that you only know online? i know ppl just online, they’re not bffs tho 

is it okay for people to cheat if it’s only online? its not okay to cheat in any snse

are you interested in anime? DBZ, KIND OF. if that counts?

do you have a favorite youtuber or do you not watch much youtube? i have few favs, but i still dont watch it too much

have you ever given a tattoo before and would you like to? i have given one actually

have you ever made out in a hot tub? dont think i’ve ever been in a hot tub

ever peed in your pants after the age of 10? when i was pregnant lmao

what was the name of the last video game you played? COD

what is your favorite elvis song? i dont listen to music that far back. don’t have anything against elvis tho lmao

what is the last tattoo you got? my sons feet on my back

what would you say is your guiltiest pleasure? food.

do you let your pets on your furniture? would if i had a pet and my own furniture as long as they didn’t shed a lot

do you enjoy your job? if unemployed, are you content being so? I’m pretty content with being unemployed, i hate working and i love being a stay at home mom

what is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? how bad i need to get this tax money, get the fuck outta this county, and get over some feelings. 

what is your favorite christmas movie? A Christmas Story.

what do you think of your best friend’s ex? uhm, i didn’t really know him. 

are you biracial? noo.

be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? or are they actually not worthy of your affections? this is a hard question to answer for my situation

would you ever wear black lipstick? do you know anyone who does? hell nah.

if you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark color or a light? and if you wear mascara, what color is it? no mascara. light collored eye shadow, brings out my green eyes.

what was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? Skittles 

are you any good with kids? i got a one so yah.

have you seen the last person you kissed without a shirt on? Yup

do you like watching jerry springer? Not anymore

have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? Nooooo

have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? well yah

have you ever deleted your facebook, then brought it back? mhm

have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? yes

what’s your favorite brand of peanut butter? Is there brands other than jiffy?

do you have a thing for shy/awkward hot guys? well yeah, im not picky tho. just be nice and sweet and not a fuckboy

what’s your favorite lunchables meal? double cheese pizza

have you ever eaten at golden corral? fav buffet

do you ever decide to just dance crazy to a favorite song? sometimes when i’m really happy

have you ever watched fireworks with someone you loved? mhm

are you good at memorizing phone numbers? i am.

do you like men who have a sensitive side? yeah

have you ever used glitter as one of your makeup items? only makeup i mostly use is eyeliner

do you keep a memo book/agenda? I need to

is there a song in a different language that you can sing? None.

what was the most expensive thing someone bought you? probably north face jacket and uggs. 

how do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? It’s cool.

is there anyone on your facebook friends list that you dislike? why do you dislike them? some are annoying, but i dont dislike anyone 

have you ever tasted baby food? how about pet food? both. they’re nasty

have you ever thought about what you might call your children? or, if you already have children, what are their names? alexander. 

where is the person you would most like to see, or most like to be with? fuck guys 

find 5 people on your facebook friends list, whose name begins with K. who are these people, and how did you meet them? 

Kristin: my cousin

Kim:my half sister 

Krysta:my main bitch

Kaitlyn: grade school/cheerleading

Kathy: my ex husbands friends wife.

is there a person that you can go to in sweats, and still feel comfy? Plenty.

do you think the last person you kissed is nice? fuck him.

how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? trust no mf..

how far away is the last person you kissed? about 20 ft. 

have you ever had a teacher that was like a second mom to you? nope

have you ever been in a school talent show? what for? nope.

was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? som mystery novel ider.

would you prefer to go out on a fancy date or just chill in his house? It depends on my mood. I like doing both.

do you enjoy long car rides? Sometimes.

do you ever wish you could live on a farm? Nope.

do you know how to play poker? hell yeah used to kick ass 

have you ever had an ear infection? Not that i remember of 

what color is your favorite bra? #nobralife

what was the name of your first boyfriend? nathan.

have you ever dated someone more than three years older than you? Not yet.

have you ever dated someone a year younger than you? i think so.

have you ever dated someone of another race? nope 

do you enjoy eating veggies? ewh

are you attracted to the last person you exchanged numbers with? i dont have a number to exchange 

what do you think of country music? some of its good. 

do you think pigs are cute or ugly? Grown pigs aren’t the cutest animal out there… but as babies, they’re cute.

did any of your friends lose their virginity before they were 16? if so, did you feel pressured to do the same? lol. i think all my friends has sex at 16 or younger. and i lost mine at 14 so

what kind of home would you like? idc as long as i owned it 

did you ever build furniture forts as a child? yassss

what kind of dog is your favorite? teacup yorkies 

have you ever considered dropping acid? thought bout it 

describe your music style: rap/hiphop/alternative

are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? I write my uncle in jail every week. another uncle comes visits me and my grandma a couple times a week, so. bout it. 

have you ever had a seizure? No.

do you plan on losing weight any time soon? hopefully gain. 

what was your gpa in high school? 3.5

if you have a favorite television show, who’s your favorite character? shameless. uhhh, i love all the gallaghers 

what is your favorite book series, if you have one? I don’t have one.

have you ever had a parasite before? Nope.

do you enjoy listening to older music? Sure.

have you been to disney world before? i will someday

have you ever met someone who was really racist before? Unfortunately, yes.

if you could be a disney character for a day, who would you be? i dont like the disney characters 

would you ever want to swim with sharks? i cant swim so i’d either die instantly from being eaten or drown

what was the last thing that made you laugh? I have no idea.

ever used a bow and arrow? Yes.

occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? astronomer, veternarian…

tea or coffee? Coffee.

opinions on sex before marriage? do it. fuck arriage 

who was the hottest teacher you ever had? freshman year there was this math teacher who was super hot and i think he transferred cause i kept flirting lmao 

have you ever walked on a beach at night? nah.

when was the last time you baked something? did it turn out good? chicken pot pie homemade, it was amazing. couple weeks ago

do you think some of the stuff we’re taught in school is useless? almost all of it 

why do we put the clocks one hour forward or one hour back? daylight savings time. 

what song really gets to your heart and inspires you? I’m not sure.

do you have fireflies around where you live, or do you wish you did? I think there are fireflies around here…

what commercial do you wish they kept playing? hate commericals. 

what current commercial is your favorite?   I don’t watch enough TV to know of any good, current commercials.

if you could have played in any movie, what movie would it be? Magic mike 2, would’ve ayed the girl who got the lapdance at the end.

did you used to do easter egg hunts when you were a child?   Yes! i loved them

what would you rather live by: highway, train tracks or airport? ive lived by train tracks before, so them.

do you believe that ‘hate’ really is a strong word?   I guess. Maybe not anymore

if you have facebook, are you guilty of fanning countless things?   mhmm

as a kid, did you love playing on neopets? Not really. i was too poor for that shit 

do you often get bitten by mosquitoes, or rarely ever? hardly ever anymore 

what’s your opinion on plastic surgery? ever thought about getting it? i’m getting a boob job one day, i’ve said it since i was in grade school..

do you own any feathers? tf kinda question is this lmao no. 

do you have a skype?   nope

the last person you had a thing with comes up to you and says “i’m sorry”? he said sorry earlier but it dont mean shit so i just continuted crying.

where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? ive never really had a romantic dinner 

do you get mad when your current bf/gf talks about an ex?   when my ex did that i did. but im singleee now 

do you know anybody who was abused?   me, a couple ppl i know. 

do you start feeling really gross if you don’t shower after one day?   sometimes

do you pee a lot more after you’ve drank a caffeinated beverage?   i pee about 2-3 times a day. only pee more when i start drinking alcohol

waiting for something? my life to get itself together.

who is your last received call from? grandma.

how do you pronounce the name Sean when you come across it in text… “shawn” “sheen” or “shane”? ”Shawn.”

wouldn’t it be EXTREMELY weird if someone fell in love with you after reading your answers to this survey?   kinda.

who is the next person you’ll hold hands with? nofuckingbody.

have you ever pole danced before?   id like to. 

what is something you used to be afraid of, but aren’t anymore?   i dunno.

do you believe your dreams have any real meaning?   sometimes. i took a nap earlier and i dreamed of snake and bugs and i looked it up and it said that something in my life was bothering me, which is true so..

what do you think of guys who ask girls out over via text message or internet?   pathetic.

do you drink more apple or orange juice?   apple

do you recall the first time that you learned the truth about sex? i reaked out. then got curious 

do you find extreme body builders’ bodies to be attractive? ewh no 

does it bug you when people go ‘mhm’ all the time when you’re talking? kinda

are your parents religious? they were yeah. not super holy rollers but they believed in god yeah.

what is your favorite hostess/little debbie snack?   swiss rolls, honey buns

do you find it rude when you offer someone something and they decline? Nah

do you think benedict cumberbatch is hot?   who

favorite disney princess?   none

does your sibling have a significant other? dont have a sibiling 

do you have any american girl dolls in your house? fuck dolls 

have you ever gotten in trouble at school for wearing revealing clothes?   yup

are you borrowing books from anybody at the moment?   Nope.

have your parents ever questioned your virginity? i told my mom after it happened, she cried but after that didn’t care, my dad never asked

roleplaying is super lame, agreed?   It’s not my thing, but people can do what they want.

how’re you feeling right now? I’m done crying and i just feel empty, and kinda mad and just wanna get my money and go.

does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No

is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? Yes.

are you prone to illness? used to be 

are you on birth control? bout to change it but yeah 

how bad are heartbreaks? unbearable sometimes 

has a song ever given you an orgasm?   uhm no. 

have you ever made out in your room? last time? i dont have a room. 

if the last person that you kissed said they wanted to marry you, what would you say? lolololol. we already are. 

do you like your eyes?   I do.

are you attracted to the last person that you fell in love with? Yah

do you have a big butt? Not anymore 

would you be a good salesperson?   helll no

do you like hot sauce? if yes, what do you usually put it on?   nope .

can you do the ‘emo hair flip’? used to be able to

do you know anyone that has dimples? alex.

would you ever make out in front of your best friend? i think i have 

anything physically wrong right now?   nope.

ever had sex under water?   No.

the last person you kissed on the lips said that you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them?   no

you’re having twins. what’s your first reaction? freak the fuck out 

did your first love love you back?   why hell no

do you have scars on your wrists?   mhm

do you like fedoras? Lmao, no.

have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? what ive been doing the last couple ights but hasnt helped 

is there a band you like with amazing music but a bad vocalist? idts

is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway?   probably

does your optimism sometimes hurt you?   yah

have you ever painted a piece of furniture? mhm

do you believe the fortunes in fortune cookies?   Nah

what do you prefer more: waffles or pancakes?   Waffles!

did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? Yes my fav

got plans after you finish this?   sleep

did you ever dream that you had a baby?   Yes.

have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Not pretty enough for that shit 

did you sleep alone?   I slept alone in my bed last night, but Mahima and Adrika were sleeping in the same room.

does your best friend approve of the last person you kissed? probably dont care 

where is the last person you kissed at this moment?   In his bed.

describe your dream girl/guy? fuck guys 

been arrested? for what? I’ve never been arrested.

tell us the story of your first kiss? it kinda just happened in the middle of class,

do you sleep with stuffed animals?   I have one stuffed animal that I keep in my bed with me. 

how many stuffed animals do you think you have?   used to have a lot but one now 

favorite character from finding nemo? dory

how long does it typically take you to get over people?   depends

are you stressed out?   always

so tell me one interesting thing about yourself. im an emotional wreck

do you own a trenchcoat? Nope.

have you ever owned a tire swing?   no

do you have a nervous twitch?   Nope

are you currently listening to music? no

is it easy to get a job where you live? im in cc rn, and its not. but in indy it is. .

is your signature legible?   it is, and pretty too .

was the last time you cried because you were angry? inbetween angry, sad, empty, not feeling good enough. .

is there an animal that scares you?   snakes, spiders, anything big enough to hurt and eat me

are you any good at video games?   helll yahh.

has a jehovah’s witness ever showed up on your doorstep? mhm

do you have a step parent? I dont even have parents anymore.. 

[samanthasroberts]

The First Black Bachelorette: Rachel Lindsay Breaks a Ridiculous Color Barrier

After 14 years and 33 seasons of white people chafing their constituents together for Americas amusement, The Bachelor dealership lastly has a pitch-black lead: Rachel Lindsay, who was announced Monday evening as the next Bachelorette. Its 2017, baby! We might have an orange pussy-grabber in the Oval Office and an arguably prejudiced us attorney general, but Lindsay, a pitch-black advocate, was in the process of make a live full of potential boyfriends her bitch.

The Bachelor franchise had been playing a decades-long tournament of chicken with ethnic equalitya will-they-or-wont-they of diverse image. For all of the franchises tanning-bed followers, diversity on the ABC stalwart often simmers down to a rainbow of registered nurse practitioners, unregistered nurse practitioners, and aspiring nurse practitioners. Of route, The Bachelor is a highly inclusive struggle, with arms wide open to personal managers from all 50 states, maidens and divorcees, heavily accented rivals, and deep polarizing assholes. As long as youre a Size 2 noblewoman or a Grade A beefcake, you can be in the running to take home that Neil Lane diamond. That tell me anything, whiteness has always been an unstated requisite for going all the way. And when the next bachelor or bachelorette is announced, theyre never the token pitch-black contestants “thats been” dropped during the previous season. In its own history of the dealership, the most diverse bachelor-at-arms was the American-born Venezuelan Juan Pablo Galavis, and he was a total dick.

The announcement of Rachel Lindsays upcoming gig destroys from tradition in more methods than one. Typically, ABC wouldnt making such revelation while a contestant was still in the running for engagementby taught us that Lindsay will be the next bachelorette, theyre effectively bungling their own indicate. Throughout Nick Vialls season, love and ardent admirers have favored Rachel Lindsay as the next bachelorette. From the premiere occurrence, when Lindsay tallied the first-impression rose, the 31 -year-old Texan has wowed gatherings with her( relative) maturity and gumption. Shes beautiful, down to soil, and shockingly utilized( unlike most opponents ). Even more endearingly, Lindsay seems like the kind of woman who would not be here for Nick Vialls leather armband-wearing, pseudo-sensitive bullshit. So its not a huge surprise to hear that the still-looking-for-love Lindsay didnt find her happily ever after with Andi and Kaitlyns clumsy thirds.

The rumor mill began working in earnest a few weeks ago, when founder Mike Fleiss started tweeting about a historic Bachelor happening. On Sunday, Fleiss received information that the aforementioned historic notice would be going down on Monday nights episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live . Reality Steve was the first website to report that Kimmel would be sharing the news of Lindsays long-awaited throwing. LA Times reporter Amy Kaufman too vouched for the notice, tweeting on Friday that, I exactly found out a piece of information that draws me 100% certain that [ email protected] is the next Bachelorette.

Fleisss breathless social media razzes has severely tone-deaf, generated how ridiculous it is that The Bachelorette is just now shedding a black extend. For all of his self-congratulatory pomp, you may have thought that Fleiss was about to announce an all-queer season of The Bachelorette . This is the glittery Resist armband of historic announcementsthe absolutely un-radical revelation that you actually dont need to be a white-hot girlfriend to get participated on actuality TV.

In addition to the simple knowledge that its been over 50 times since the Civil Rights Act, this seems like the perfect age for The Bachelor dealership to fully integrate. After all, The Bachelor , The Bachelorette , and its drunk cousin Bachelor in Paradise have been slowly and steadily revamping over the past couple of years. Nick Viall, our current unemployed software engineer turned bachelor-at-arms, isnt precisely a cookie cutter contender. His extreme sense and predisposition to moan at the slightest provocation differentiates him from the silent and stoic romantic leads of seasons past. Plus, he wears jewelry and might even have a sense of humor. If Viall is the believing females bachelor, hes likewise the closest weve ever be coming home with a professional contestant. After multiple sequence on the franchise, Nick is highly aware of, say, what makes a good revise and what the fuck is provoke Bachelor Nation backlash. On a not-unrelated mention, his season boasts the most diverse reserve of Bachelor contenders in dealership history2 2 lily-white and eight non-white girls. As a point of comparison, previous bachelor Ben Higgins deigned to date five non-white players, and Chris Souless season featured merely one.

Theres an argument to be made that Nick wants to appear instructed and salvage his historically compromised reputation. That would explain why so many black girls have remained in the running this season, despite the fact that Viall doesnt actually seemed to be engaging a romantic relation with them. Last-place week, Jasmine met her would-be fianc, confessing that his complete disinterest in spending one-on-one time with her shaped her feel unwanted and insecure. Uncomfortable and called-out, Nick politely indicated/ told her to parcel her containers. Loyal viewers will recollect a similar interaction earlier in the season between Nick and Dominique. Dominique felt underappreciated and stuck in her own brain; Nick felt like he really didnt need to be talking to Dominique anymore. While boozing unlimited Chardonnay and claiming to fall in love with person might sound like an easy gig , non-white Bachelor/ Bachelorette opponents have historically had a hard start of it. Its telling that these crises of confidence so consistently afflict rivals of pigment. Of trend these women are in their own headstheir premiers are telling them that pitch-black ladies dont find love on The Bachelor franchise.

The Bachelor / Bachelorettes whitewashing has been blamed and parodied, most exhaustively by UnREAL , the scripted Lifetime send-up of the dating demonstrate phenomenon. On Season 2, UnREAL imagined what it would look like to shed the first pitch-black suitorand all of the exploitative clickbait and ethnic tension that would unavoidably follow. Of trend, the fact that it only took this Bachelor lampoon two seasons to stimulate that so-called historic announcementone that the real franchise had yet to tacklewas truly shameful. In a 2016 interview with The Daily Beast, host Chris Harrison demurred on the topic, saying that questions of diversity were path above my compensate point. He was indicated that, Anyone has the same chance to end upand I hate to say triumph because its not a game show. It has to do with your connection with person. But everybody has a chance to fall in love, it doesnt stuff who you are.

According to Beyonc, black girls can increasingly find their own thinkings in the news and onscreen. But while this surge in image has been vital for aspiring actresses and senators, it had yet to reach the little girl who fantasy of growing up to find love in a televised world competitionuntil now. As Americas very first pitch-black Bachelorette, Rachel has a huge amount of responsibility. In addition to finding the cherish of their own lives, shes tasked with proving to the world that black wives can serial date just as convincingly as their lily-white counterparts. But as certain as we are that Nick Viall will die alone, have every confidence that Rachel Lindsay will make a lovely, charismatic bachelorette.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/the-first-black-bachelorette-rachel-lindsay-breaks-a-ridiculous-color-barrier/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/10/17/the-first-black-bachelorette-rachel-lindsay-breaks-a-ridiculous-color-barrier/

[adambstingus]

The First Black Bachelorette: Rachel Lindsay Breaks a Ridiculous Color Barrier

After 14 years and 33 seasons of white people chafing their constituents together for Americas amusement, The Bachelor dealership lastly has a pitch-black lead: Rachel Lindsay, who was announced Monday evening as the next Bachelorette. Its 2017, baby! We might have an orange pussy-grabber in the Oval Office and an arguably prejudiced us attorney general, but Lindsay, a pitch-black advocate, was in the process of make a live full of potential boyfriends her bitch.

The Bachelor franchise had been playing a decades-long tournament of chicken with ethnic equalitya will-they-or-wont-they of diverse image. For all of the franchises tanning-bed followers, diversity on the ABC stalwart often simmers down to a rainbow of registered nurse practitioners, unregistered nurse practitioners, and aspiring nurse practitioners. Of route, The Bachelor is a highly inclusive struggle, with arms wide open to personal managers from all 50 states, maidens and divorcees, heavily accented rivals, and deep polarizing assholes. As long as youre a Size 2 noblewoman or a Grade A beefcake, you can be in the running to take home that Neil Lane diamond. That tell me anything, whiteness has always been an unstated requisite for going all the way. And when the next bachelor or bachelorette is announced, theyre never the token pitch-black contestants “thats been” dropped during the previous season. In its own history of the dealership, the most diverse bachelor-at-arms was the American-born Venezuelan Juan Pablo Galavis, and he was a total dick.

The announcement of Rachel Lindsays upcoming gig destroys from tradition in more methods than one. Typically, ABC wouldnt making such revelation while a contestant was still in the running for engagementby taught us that Lindsay will be the next bachelorette, theyre effectively bungling their own indicate. Throughout Nick Vialls season, love and ardent admirers have favored Rachel Lindsay as the next bachelorette. From the premiere occurrence, when Lindsay tallied the first-impression rose, the 31 -year-old Texan has wowed gatherings with her( relative) maturity and gumption. Shes beautiful, down to soil, and shockingly utilized( unlike most opponents ). Even more endearingly, Lindsay seems like the kind of woman who would not be here for Nick Vialls leather armband-wearing, pseudo-sensitive bullshit. So its not a huge surprise to hear that the still-looking-for-love Lindsay didnt find her happily ever after with Andi and Kaitlyns clumsy thirds.

The rumor mill began working in earnest a few weeks ago, when founder Mike Fleiss started tweeting about a historic Bachelor happening. On Sunday, Fleiss received information that the aforementioned historic notice would be going down on Monday nights episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live . Reality Steve was the first website to report that Kimmel would be sharing the news of Lindsays long-awaited throwing. LA Times reporter Amy Kaufman too vouched for the notice, tweeting on Friday that, I exactly found out a piece of information that draws me 100% certain that [ email protected] is the next Bachelorette.

Fleisss breathless social media razzes has severely tone-deaf, generated how ridiculous it is that The Bachelorette is just now shedding a black extend. For all of his self-congratulatory pomp, you may have thought that Fleiss was about to announce an all-queer season of The Bachelorette . This is the glittery Resist armband of historic announcementsthe absolutely un-radical revelation that you actually dont need to be a white-hot girlfriend to get participated on actuality TV.

In addition to the simple knowledge that its been over 50 times since the Civil Rights Act, this seems like the perfect age for The Bachelor dealership to fully integrate. After all, The Bachelor , The Bachelorette , and its drunk cousin Bachelor in Paradise have been slowly and steadily revamping over the past couple of years. Nick Viall, our current unemployed software engineer turned bachelor-at-arms, isnt precisely a cookie cutter contender. His extreme sense and predisposition to moan at the slightest provocation differentiates him from the silent and stoic romantic leads of seasons past. Plus, he wears jewelry and might even have a sense of humor. If Viall is the believing females bachelor, hes likewise the closest weve ever be coming home with a professional contestant. After multiple sequence on the franchise, Nick is highly aware of, say, what makes a good revise and what the fuck is provoke Bachelor Nation backlash. On a not-unrelated mention, his season boasts the most diverse reserve of Bachelor contenders in dealership history2 2 lily-white and eight non-white girls. As a point of comparison, previous bachelor Ben Higgins deigned to date five non-white players, and Chris Souless season featured merely one.

Theres an argument to be made that Nick wants to appear instructed and salvage his historically compromised reputation. That would explain why so many black girls have remained in the running this season, despite the fact that Viall doesnt actually seemed to be engaging a romantic relation with them. Last-place week, Jasmine met her would-be fianc, confessing that his complete disinterest in spending one-on-one time with her shaped her feel unwanted and insecure. Uncomfortable and called-out, Nick politely indicated/ told her to parcel her containers. Loyal viewers will recollect a similar interaction earlier in the season between Nick and Dominique. Dominique felt underappreciated and stuck in her own brain; Nick felt like he really didnt need to be talking to Dominique anymore. While boozing unlimited Chardonnay and claiming to fall in love with person might sound like an easy gig , non-white Bachelor/ Bachelorette opponents have historically had a hard start of it. Its telling that these crises of confidence so consistently afflict rivals of pigment. Of trend these women are in their own headstheir premiers are telling them that pitch-black ladies dont find love on The Bachelor franchise.

The Bachelor / Bachelorettes whitewashing has been blamed and parodied, most exhaustively by UnREAL , the scripted Lifetime send-up of the dating demonstrate phenomenon. On Season 2, UnREAL imagined what it would look like to shed the first pitch-black suitorand all of the exploitative clickbait and ethnic tension that would unavoidably follow. Of trend, the fact that it only took this Bachelor lampoon two seasons to stimulate that so-called historic announcementone that the real franchise had yet to tacklewas truly shameful. In a 2016 interview with The Daily Beast, host Chris Harrison demurred on the topic, saying that questions of diversity were path above my compensate point. He was indicated that, Anyone has the same chance to end upand I hate to say triumph because its not a game show. It has to do with your connection with person. But everybody has a chance to fall in love, it doesnt stuff who you are.

According to Beyonc, black girls can increasingly find their own thinkings in the news and onscreen. But while this surge in image has been vital for aspiring actresses and senators, it had yet to reach the little girl who fantasy of growing up to find love in a televised world competitionuntil now. As Americas very first pitch-black Bachelorette, Rachel has a huge amount of responsibility. In addition to finding the cherish of their own lives, shes tasked with proving to the world that black wives can serial date just as convincingly as their lily-white counterparts. But as certain as we are that Nick Viall will die alone, have every confidence that Rachel Lindsay will make a lovely, charismatic bachelorette.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-first-black-bachelorette-rachel-lindsay-breaks-a-ridiculous-color-barrier/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/179129802317

[allofbeercom]

The First Black Bachelorette: Rachel Lindsay Breaks a Ridiculous Color Barrier

After 14 years and 33 seasons of white people chafing their constituents together for Americas amusement, The Bachelor dealership lastly has a pitch-black lead: Rachel Lindsay, who was announced Monday evening as the next Bachelorette. Its 2017, baby! We might have an orange pussy-grabber in the Oval Office and an arguably prejudiced us attorney general, but Lindsay, a pitch-black advocate, was in the process of make a live full of potential boyfriends her bitch.

The Bachelor franchise had been playing a decades-long tournament of chicken with ethnic equalitya will-they-or-wont-they of diverse image. For all of the franchises tanning-bed followers, diversity on the ABC stalwart often simmers down to a rainbow of registered nurse practitioners, unregistered nurse practitioners, and aspiring nurse practitioners. Of route, The Bachelor is a highly inclusive struggle, with arms wide open to personal managers from all 50 states, maidens and divorcees, heavily accented rivals, and deep polarizing assholes. As long as youre a Size 2 noblewoman or a Grade A beefcake, you can be in the running to take home that Neil Lane diamond. That tell me anything, whiteness has always been an unstated requisite for going all the way. And when the next bachelor or bachelorette is announced, theyre never the token pitch-black contestants “thats been” dropped during the previous season. In its own history of the dealership, the most diverse bachelor-at-arms was the American-born Venezuelan Juan Pablo Galavis, and he was a total dick.

The announcement of Rachel Lindsays upcoming gig destroys from tradition in more methods than one. Typically, ABC wouldnt making such revelation while a contestant was still in the running for engagementby taught us that Lindsay will be the next bachelorette, theyre effectively bungling their own indicate. Throughout Nick Vialls season, love and ardent admirers have favored Rachel Lindsay as the next bachelorette. From the premiere occurrence, when Lindsay tallied the first-impression rose, the 31 -year-old Texan has wowed gatherings with her( relative) maturity and gumption. Shes beautiful, down to soil, and shockingly utilized( unlike most opponents ). Even more endearingly, Lindsay seems like the kind of woman who would not be here for Nick Vialls leather armband-wearing, pseudo-sensitive bullshit. So its not a huge surprise to hear that the still-looking-for-love Lindsay didnt find her happily ever after with Andi and Kaitlyns clumsy thirds.

The rumor mill began working in earnest a few weeks ago, when founder Mike Fleiss started tweeting about a historic Bachelor happening. On Sunday, Fleiss received information that the aforementioned historic notice would be going down on Monday nights episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live . Reality Steve was the first website to report that Kimmel would be sharing the news of Lindsays long-awaited throwing. LA Times reporter Amy Kaufman too vouched for the notice, tweeting on Friday that, I exactly found out a piece of information that draws me 100% certain that [ email protected] is the next Bachelorette.

Fleisss breathless social media razzes has severely tone-deaf, generated how ridiculous it is that The Bachelorette is just now shedding a black extend. For all of his self-congratulatory pomp, you may have thought that Fleiss was about to announce an all-queer season of The Bachelorette . This is the glittery Resist armband of historic announcementsthe absolutely un-radical revelation that you actually dont need to be a white-hot girlfriend to get participated on actuality TV.

In addition to the simple knowledge that its been over 50 times since the Civil Rights Act, this seems like the perfect age for The Bachelor dealership to fully integrate. After all, The Bachelor , The Bachelorette , and its drunk cousin Bachelor in Paradise have been slowly and steadily revamping over the past couple of years. Nick Viall, our current unemployed software engineer turned bachelor-at-arms, isnt precisely a cookie cutter contender. His extreme sense and predisposition to moan at the slightest provocation differentiates him from the silent and stoic romantic leads of seasons past. Plus, he wears jewelry and might even have a sense of humor. If Viall is the believing females bachelor, hes likewise the closest weve ever be coming home with a professional contestant. After multiple sequence on the franchise, Nick is highly aware of, say, what makes a good revise and what the fuck is provoke Bachelor Nation backlash. On a not-unrelated mention, his season boasts the most diverse reserve of Bachelor contenders in dealership history2 2 lily-white and eight non-white girls. As a point of comparison, previous bachelor Ben Higgins deigned to date five non-white players, and Chris Souless season featured merely one.

Theres an argument to be made that Nick wants to appear instructed and salvage his historically compromised reputation. That would explain why so many black girls have remained in the running this season, despite the fact that Viall doesnt actually seemed to be engaging a romantic relation with them. Last-place week, Jasmine met her would-be fianc, confessing that his complete disinterest in spending one-on-one time with her shaped her feel unwanted and insecure. Uncomfortable and called-out, Nick politely indicated/ told her to parcel her containers. Loyal viewers will recollect a similar interaction earlier in the season between Nick and Dominique. Dominique felt underappreciated and stuck in her own brain; Nick felt like he really didnt need to be talking to Dominique anymore. While boozing unlimited Chardonnay and claiming to fall in love with person might sound like an easy gig , non-white Bachelor/ Bachelorette opponents have historically had a hard start of it. Its telling that these crises of confidence so consistently afflict rivals of pigment. Of trend these women are in their own headstheir premiers are telling them that pitch-black ladies dont find love on The Bachelor franchise.

The Bachelor / Bachelorettes whitewashing has been blamed and parodied, most exhaustively by UnREAL , the scripted Lifetime send-up of the dating demonstrate phenomenon. On Season 2, UnREAL imagined what it would look like to shed the first pitch-black suitorand all of the exploitative clickbait and ethnic tension that would unavoidably follow. Of trend, the fact that it only took this Bachelor lampoon two seasons to stimulate that so-called historic announcementone that the real franchise had yet to tacklewas truly shameful. In a 2016 interview with The Daily Beast, host Chris Harrison demurred on the topic, saying that questions of diversity were path above my compensate point. He was indicated that, Anyone has the same chance to end upand I hate to say triumph because its not a game show. It has to do with your connection with person. But everybody has a chance to fall in love, it doesnt stuff who you are.

According to Beyonc, black girls can increasingly find their own thinkings in the news and onscreen. But while this surge in image has been vital for aspiring actresses and senators, it had yet to reach the little girl who fantasy of growing up to find love in a televised world competitionuntil now. As Americas very first pitch-black Bachelorette, Rachel has a huge amount of responsibility. In addition to finding the cherish of their own lives, shes tasked with proving to the world that black wives can serial date just as convincingly as their lily-white counterparts. But as certain as we are that Nick Viall will die alone, have every confidence that Rachel Lindsay will make a lovely, charismatic bachelorette.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-first-black-bachelorette-rachel-lindsay-breaks-a-ridiculous-color-barrier/

[actual-flying-grayson]

Hello friends! This is one of my first short stories, it’s a topic I’m very passionate about. Please enjoy!

BROKEN

 “I hate therapy,” I thought to myself, not for the first time that day, as I loaded myself into the car. The thought continued to swirl around in my head as I continued the short drive to Doctor Zimmer’s office. She insisted I call her Diane, even though I persistently made it clear I didn’t want anything to do with having a closer working relationship with her. Her infectious optimism was always somewhat off-putting, which is probably why my family wanted me to see her.

           I folded the arms of my hoodie around my chest as I fought to keep the chill at bay as I slid out of my car. I braced myself mentally for the next grueling hour of tedious questions.

           ‘Just one last session, just one last session.’

The thought repeated in my mind over and over again, like a toddler practicing a newfound rhyme. Today was the last day I would have to see Doctor Zimmer, excuse me, Diane, and I honestly couldn’t be more relieved.

           I didn’t have to sit in the waiting room for terribly long, thank God. The secretary brought me back and I flopped down into the squishy orange armchair I’d become so well acquainted with in the past ten weeks. Doctor Zimmer greeted me in her usual way.

           “How are you this morning, Levi?” All shiny white teeth and just a little too much mascara. I mumbled something resembling a response as I kept my eyes on my dirty tennis shoes. We then proceeded to slog through about forty-five minutes of the same garbage as the past three months. The continuous picking apart and unpacking of my neuroses, my trust issues, my emotional distancing, blah, blah, blah. Towards the end, she folded one leg over the other and fixed a look on me from over her clipboard.

           “Levi, what is it that you think is wrong with you?” She took off her glasses and looked at me more intently. Is she trying to be maternal? Comforting? I had no idea, but God did I wish she would look somewhere else, she was making me uncomfortable.

           “Honestly ‘Diane’ for a hundred and fifty bucks an hour, I’d kinda like to know what the hell you think.”

           She pursed her lips into a thin red line and was silent for several seconds. “Well Levi, I think you’re dysfunctional.”

           “Meaning what, exactly?”

           “Meaning, frankly, that you’re just a little bit broken. That’s ok though, everybody is, to some degree or another.” She said the last sentence with her token optimism and tried to reach for my hand, which I deftly withdrew into the pockets of my jacket. She awkwardly withdrew her hand back to her own lap and tried for another confident smile, which died on red lips almost as soon as it started. She settled for a look resembling that of pity, and looked at the clock above the door. “Well Levi, it seems we’re out of time for today, I’m sorry. Now, I know this is your last session and all, but if you ever need anything don’t hesitate to call and set up another appointment. Have a Merry Christmas!”

           I gave her a polite smile as I rose from the chair and walked decisively back out into the cold to my car.

BROKEN

What the hell was that supposed to mean, ‘everyone is a little bit broken’? What a load of shit. I unlocked the front door of my apartment to hear the sound of my roommate watching a movie in the living room. I shook the snow off my shoes and stepped in to see him and his girlfriend cuddled on the couch, just as absolutely adorable as could be. Lovely.

DYSFUNCTIONAL

“Hey man, how was your doctor’s appointment?” I heard from the couch as I set my car keys down on the kitchen table.

“It was fine. Hopefully I won’t have to go back. Finger’s crossed, right? If you need me I’ll be in my room doing some stuff for work.”

“Aw come on, why don’t you take a break? Come and finish the movie with us,” my roommate’s girlfriend said in a chipper voice as she made some space on the couch for me. I shot her a small smile but didn’t respond as I ducked into my room. I clicked on my computer and sat down to write. I’ve been attempting to become a writer, in the pursuit of a long awaited dream. I was well aware that my writing skills were absolute garbage, and I was strangely comfortable with that. I’d had a couple short stories published in some local magazines, but nothing very popular. My brother had gotten all the writing talent in the family, having written and published several novels already.

I should have listened to my mother and become an English teacher instead.

LONELY

I blinked my eyes several times as the word faded from my mind, and shook my head softly to clear out the cobwebs. I had been writing for several hours when I decided that I should probably take a break and get something to eat. It had been a long day and I figured that I had earned a bit of a treat, so I grabbed my wallet and coat from off of my bed. I opened my bedroom door and stepped into the living room, very pointedly making quite a lot of noise. If I didn’t interrupt them every so often with my presence I’d have to have the couch steam cleaned again, and that tended to get expensive.

I grabbed my keys off of the table and closed the door behind me as I left. I started off at a steady pace, shoulders bunched beneath the cold. I had my hands in the pockets of my hoodie, curled into fists around my cell phone and keys. I felt the short, pulsating buzz of my phone vibrating, and pulled it out to answer. I looked at the photo ID before answering and wilted ever so slightly as my brother’s name lit up the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Levi, how are you? How was your appointment?”

“Hiya Daniel, it went well thanks. I’m doing fine I guess, yourself? I saw online that you just got another book out, that’s got to be exciting”

He gave a short laugh, “Yeah I suppose so. I don’t suppose you’ve gotten the opportunity to read it yet, have you?”

He knew damn well that I hadn’t, same with the last four books. For the sake of our relationship though it was easier to tell him what he wanted to hear. “I actually picked up a copy yesterday, I was just going out to grab some dinner and get started on it.”

“Hey, that’s awesome. You gotta let me know what you think, alright. Hey, have you heard from Kaitlyn lately?”

Ex-girlfriend. “No, not in months, why?”

“Funny enough I bumped into her not that long ago.” There was a soft giggle from the background, I rolled my eyes and tried to conceal my disgust.

“That’s great. Hey, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

“Sure thing brother. Call Mom, she worries. Merry Christmas, Levi.”

“We’re Jewish, Dan. We don’t celebrate-“

More giggling. “That’s great man, talk to you later!”

BROKEN

The line clicked off and I put my phone away as I pushed open the door to my destination: a small diner down the street from my apartment. It was clean, friendly, and most importantly, cheap. I picked one of the red vinyl booths along the wall and placed my order. While I waited for it to come out, I continued to think about my doctor’s appointment that day, as well as everything else that had been going on lately.

BROKEN

I am thirteen years old. I am home by myself. I am watching the snow come down outside, hoping school is cancelled tomorrow. I see a familiar car pull up outside. One of my older brother’s friends. She is much cooler than me, because she is in high school. Her name is Brandy, and she is easily the nicest of all of my brother’s friends. Most of them ignore me because I’m still pretty young, but Brandy is always nice to me. I think she is very pretty. She comes out of her car and walks up to the house and rings the doorbell, but I’m already at the door. Daniel and my parents are out of the house right now, and I am by myself. I am not allowed to have people in the house when I’m alone, but Brandy is different. I open the door.

“Hey, buddy, wake up. You’re freaking out the other diners.” I snap out of my reverie to look at the source of the voice. It’s my waiter, who appears to have brought my food. I mumble my apology and set about eating quickly so I can go home. Suddenly I’m very nervous, and I have no reasonable justification for it. I haven’t thought about her in, God how long ago was that? I thought I’d forgotten everything about her. She used to be pretty cool until her and my brother lost touch after graduation. I wonder what she’s up to now?

Hot breath on my neck. My voice is catching in my throat. I am crying, even though Dan said that men aren’t supposed to cry.

I blink again, and give my food one last look before I get up to pay. I hurriedly leave the diner and start the walk home. I should have driven instead, even though it’s such a short distance, the snow is beginning to fall even harder. I jam my hands in my pockets and pull my hood up to cover my ears. I need to get home quickly, but I don’t know why, I just fell so strange tonight. Stupid damn therapist, I never should’ve gone in the first place.

BROKEN

I can fix you Levi. Sad little Levi.

I shake my head again as I almost bump into a middle-aged woman walking briskly with her young son. She takes one look at me before pulling her son closer and hurrying away. How odd, I’ve never had that happen to me before. People are probably on edge because of the storm. I know that I am. Tonight has been weirdly reminiscent for me, I don’t normally get like this. I just need to get home and warm up before I freeze out here.

I make the rest of the journey back to my apartment quickly and quietly, avoiding other people on the sidewalk as much as possible. For some reason I scared that woman, and I don’t want to do that to anybody else tonight. I unlock the door to my apartment and all of the lights are off as I step into the living room and drop my keys onto the table. I click on a light and sit down at the table to look at the small stack of mail on the table as I warm up slowly but surely. I hear a small muffled noise come from my roommate’s room and I stop to try and identify it. Again, I hear a faint, feminine sigh, followed by the creaking of a slightly too old mattress.

DYSFUNCTIONAL

I whimper softly. I am very scared, and I don’t know what to do, and I just wish that my family would come home. “Shhh, be quiet. You don’t want someone to hear us, do you?” I try to quiet myself. Her hands are everywhere, as her mouth presses to mine. I am still crying and I cannot stop. I want to stop. I want everything to stop. I can’t stop though, I can’t stop the crying. I can’t stop anything. I am too weak.

I’ve been out too long and my hands are stiff, so I decide to warm them up by trying to write some more. I walk into my room and sit down at my laptop.

“You’re not exactly you’re brother but I guess you’ll do. Hold still.”

I open up my latest story and give it a quick scan before placing my cursor at the beginning and hammering the delete button over and over again until the page is blank. Then I open up another one of my stories and give it the same treatment. Then again, and again. Over and over until my finger is numb. The calm, rational part of my brain speaks to me, telling me that I’ll be alright. For the first time in my life however, I am able to easily silence that little voice. The only bit of rationality I am able to summon at the moment is the inability to cry. Thank God, I won’t do that again.

I stand up from my desk and grab my keys off the table. I need to get out for a bit, get some fresh air. The cold air stings my arms as I realize that I’ve forgotten my jacket. It doesn’t matter, I won’t be out for very long anyway. Just long enough to clear my head, to sort out what the hell is going on. Where are these thought’s coming from? Are these memories even mine? I haven’t thought about Brandy in so long. I haven’t remembered in even longer.

I don’t know what happened next.

I woke up in a hospital, with soft leather cuffs holding my hands to the edge of a white bedframe that reeked of sterility. My whole body was numb, and I assumed that it was from the cold. I tried to lift my left arm, only to feel the dense weight of so many white cotton gauze bandages pulling against the cuff on the bed. ‘Oh’, I think to myself, ‘I see’. I’ve been here before, but not in a very long time. Not since I was a teenager at least. The memories of the night before hammer into my chest with the force of a runaway train. A nurse bustles into the room once they see that I’m awake.

The next several days passed in a relative haze, although I never did seem to get much of a moment’s peace. Several doctors at a time would come in to speak with me about what had happened. Once everyone got all of the information they wanted, I was allowed visitors. At first it was only my parents, but slowly others came to visit as well. My roommate, my brother, some of the other friends I had grown close to in my life.

After I recovered physically, the doctor’s wanted me moved to a separate facility to sort out what happened. It took some time, but eventually I got everything out that needed to get out. Things that I had forgotten, things that I had put away even from myself. One of the psychiatrist’s asked me if I wanted to tell my parents, or if I wanted someone else to do it. I figured that it should come from me, in order to help with the healing process. Either my healing process or theirs, I’m not sure. My parents were angry, and confused, and hurt that I hadn’t said anything. I think Daniel blames himself. A small part of me thinks that maybe he should.

I have since been released from the hospital. I suppose I should say hospitals, plural. While there I was able to get help, which is probably what I needed. I am still broken. Very, very broken. I’m repairing myself though, slowly. so slowly it hurts sometimes, but I can look myself in the eyes now without fear, and that’s progress. Damn it if still don’t hate therapy though.

If you’ve made it this far through my story, then thank you! I appreciate the time and attention. If you enjoyed it, please let me know! If you have any constructive criticism, please do the same, I’m constantly trying to improve. I hope this can help some of you out there, have a good night.