#i drew these a few days before s5 came out
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ningadudexx · 6 months ago
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1...!!!! 2....!!!! ......!!!!! what comes after.... 2!!!!!! .....!!!!!!!!!!!!
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katyobsesses · 3 years ago
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Sam Evans and "Taylor Swift" (2006)
We all know that Sam Evans is the biggest Swiftie in the New Directions (what do you mean he never did a Taylor song?) so I thought I'd go through her entire discography and assign each song to a part of Sam Evans; be it a ship (canon or not), a part of his personality, or use the lyrics to make a plan for an AU of some sort (canon complicit or not) (which may or may not become a ficlet at some point in the future)
Feel free to use any of these as prompts for fanart/fanfic and let me know if you do!
Albums: Taylor Swift (2006) | Fearless (2008) | Speak Now (2010) | Red (2012) | 1989 (2014) | Reputation (2017) | Lover (2019) | Folklore (2020) | Evermore (2020) | Fearless tv vault songs (2021) | Red tv vault songs (2021) | ALL POSTS
Here's the first of Taylor's albums Taylor Swift (2006) to start our journey (lyrics linked)
"Taylor Swift" (2006)
Tim McGraw
AU Ficlet Idea:
Sam during the summer just before S2. He's hanging out with one of his best friends who he's known for a good chunk of his life who just got his license so they just drive around a lot through the backroads of their Tennessee town listening to Tim McGraw. During one of these drives Sam's friend comes out to him, and this sets Sam on his own journey of self discovery (and just because there's a line of "little black dress" maybe its both gender and sexuality based, so maybe, like enby!Sam or at least Sam playing with Gender norms). But just as they two get closer and have just confessed to each other Sam's Parents drop the news that they're moving to Ohio. Sam's devastated.
September saw a month of tears
Then it ends with Sam back in Tennessee a few years later - probably on his way back to Ohio from New York he decides to go through Tennessee for a few days, and drops a letter on his old friend's door step
And I'm back for the first time since then // I'm standin' on your street // And there's a letter left on your doorstep
OR you can make this a Blam AU, by pretending that the All Boys School Sam used to go to was Dalton, and just forgetting he's from Tennessee
Picture To Burn
My brain went Fabrevans on this one. The song from Quinn's perspective. Possibly an AU where they didn't break up because of Finn, but Sam still left during the Summer, possibly without even telling Quinn who's dealing with a lot of other things on top of that (realising she's a lesbian but not admitting it, her dad trying to win back her mom, her older sister having a baby and being reminded of beth) so she's very very angry... Skank!Quinn origin story vibes.
And if you're missing me // You'd better keep it to yourself // 'Cause coming back around here // Would be bad for your health...
Teardrops On My Guitar
Hevans from Sam's perspective about S5 Klaine.
Drew walks by me // Can he tell that I can't breathe? // And there he goes, so perfectly // The kind of flawless I wish I could be
A Place In This World
This one feels very much like maybe Sam trying to figure out his sexuality
I don't know what I want, so don't ask me // 'Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Or even his whole Not-Sure-What-To-Do-In-Life arc in S5
Cold As You
Samtana, maybe, because of how cold and calculating she was with their relationship, and how quickly she dropped him when a new opportunity came around with Dave. Now, Sam probably wasn't in love with Santana or anything, but he's a big softy with a loving heart so he probably felt something for her. So her just dropping him for a new guy, as coldly as she did, would have hurt him a lot, more than she knew.
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through // I've never been anywhere cold as you
The Outside
Sam not feeling like he fits in in NY, he feels like he's on the outside of everything and isn't used to that, he's used to being part of a team, used to knowing what he wants out of life, and he thought he did but apparently he doesn't. But also, he knows that maybe he would feel more at home in New York if his friends had noticed how outside of everything he felt, but they didn't notice.
You could've helped if you had wanted to // But no one notices until it's too late to do anything
Tied Together With A Smile
Sam and his struggle with his body, food, and obsession with dieting and exercise
Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty // Is the face in the mirror looking back at you // You walk around here thinking you're not pretty // But that's not true 'cause I know you
He pretends he's fine to everyone because he has to be the hot one, the stereotypical Jock
...you don't tell anyone // That you might not be the golden one
and he hides it all behind his goofy smiles and sunshine demeaner, but actually he's coming undone at the seams
And you're tied together with a smile // But you're coming undone
Stay Beautiful
Samcedes.
Mercedes sings the verses about Sam.
Cory's eyes are like a jungle // He smiles, it's like the radio // He whispers songs into my window // In words that nobody knows
Sam sings the choruses about Mercedes
You're beautiful // Every little piece love // And don't you know // You're really gonna be someone
Honestly this could be from any time in their relationship, from pining at the start, to S3, to S5 and them breaking up. It's full of hope for the two of them to end up as endgame one day but even if they don't, for each of them to stay the amazing people they are and be happy.
And when you find everything you looked for // I hope your life leads you back to my front door
Should've Said No
Fabrevans. Sam to Quinn after she cheats on him. An AU where he realises that she cheated on him in Silly Love Songs and breaks up with her in Comeback by singing this song instead of trying to win her back by doing Bieber. the rest of the episode is obviously just more Taylor Swift songs, ending with Mean as the Anthem they plan to do for Regionals (obviously Sue ends up ruining that, maybe citing some Meta copyright reason as why they can't sing it)
And I should've been there in the back of your mind // I shouldn't be asking myself, "Why?" // You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet... // You should've said "No", baby, and you might still have me
Mary's Song (Oh My My My)
Could go back to that Hypothetical Childhood Best Friend from Tim McGraw!
Or a Childhood Friends to Lovers AU with some other ship. I'm going to go with Blam I think, for the AU that popped into my head.
So, I've decided in this AU Sam is FTM -
Well, I was sixteen when suddenly // I wasn't that little girl you used to see
- So basically Sam and Blaine grew up as kids, with their parents joking that they'd be a couple one day, Sam transitions, they get together. You're typical Childhood friends to Lovers trope but with added trans. Kind of like that comic that periodically circles around Tumblr.
Our Song
Samcedes. This is just so perfect for Samcedes from Prom to when Sam leaves for Kentucky. Mercedes POV.
Our song is the slamming screen door // Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window // When we're on the phone and you talk real slow // 'Cause it's late and your mama don't know // Our song is the way you laugh // The first date. "Man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have." // And when I got home ... 'fore I said, "Amen" // Asking God if he could play it again
I'm Only Me When I'm With You
Blam, because it's just so them. they both let each other be their nerdy selves together, and really it's the only time either of them are so nerdy. Also Some Much Pining which is just so blam
Well, you drive me crazy half the time // The other half I'm only tryna let you know that what I feel is true// And I'm only me when I'm with you
Invisible
This one is hard. I've jumped around a couple of Ideas but I'm really not sure. This could be Blam - Blaine's POV about Bram, Sam's POV about Klaine - or a Hevan's AU - Kurt about Samcedes, or Sam about Klaine again. Or maybe even a, idk, Sinn AU, or Suck, or Sartie, or a myriad of other ships where Sam pines after someone, or someone pines after Sam.
But I think I'm going to go with... Hevans AU. Kurt isn't at Dalton. this is from his POV about Sam dating Santana. idk guys this one was tricky!
A Perfectly Good Heart
Fabrevans or Samtana - which I think will be my go to for a lot of Taylor's break up songs to be honest. But since Sam was more into Quinn than Santana, I think I'll go with Fabrevans.
Maybe I should've seen the signs, should've read the writing on the wall // And realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall // No matter what you say, I still can't believe // That you would walk away // It don't make sense to me...
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multifandomwriter56 · 4 years ago
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Filling in His Place
A/N: This was a request. Also it’s for @sdavid09​ Tale Teller’s 2020 Bingo Challenge.
Square Filled: Follower Prompt
Request by anon: Hey hun! I was wondering if I could request a Shelby!reader where she is Finn’s twin but she is treated the same way as him and she gets in trouble???? Xxxx (I hope this meets your expectations, love)
Summary: Tommy’s done with his sister’s antics and Y/n’s done with pretending her brother will ever be the same.
Characters: Tommy Shelby x Sister!Reader
Warnings: language, angst, spoilers for S4 and S5 (barely)
Word Count: 1,488
(Gif is by @el-cheung​)
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Y/n loves being a twin. Always having someone the same age as her growing up has made being a Shelby much easier. Finn and her have always been troublemakers; and as they get older, they got into even more trouble.
Tommy used to be able to control the twins, but since he started playing politician, the responsibility fell onto their aunt.
Y/n does feel guilty for stressing their aunt out as much as they do.
The last time they trashed the Garrison, Polly had decided enough was enough and split them up for the time being.
Y/n, unfortunately, drew the short straw so to speak and was sent to the Arrow House.
She had only been there five minutes when Tommy had call her into his office and gave her a lengthy lecture on acting like an adult.
She almost left right then, but she decided spending some time with her niece and nephew would be good. Besides Lizzie, the two children hardly ever saw family;especially Charlie. When her brother and Lizzie would fight, Lizzie would take her and Ruby to Arthur’s place; leaving Charlie behind. 
***
One morning she decided she was done with staying in her brother’s mansion and decided to head back to Small Heath.
She stole Tommy's car and was planning on picking up her twin; but when she arrived, he was gone.
Apparently Finn was in London with Arthur for the day.
She thought about going back to the house, but she figured she might as well enjoy her freedom while she still can. She has a feeling, Tommy won't be so forgiving this time.
So she heads to the Garrison for a few drinks. Since John died, it seems like none of her family really goes to the pub anymore besides Finn. Even now, Y/n feels a sadness flow over her as she makes her way to the bar.
“Y/n?”
“Hey Harry, give me bottle of rum.”
“Sorry Y/n, I can’t. Tommy said-”
“Fuck my brother, give me the damn bottle or I’ll get two, and I’ll smash one over your fucking skull.”
Harry weighs in his options. Deal with an angry Shelby now or later. He decides to go with the former. He turns his back on the young woman before turning back to face her with the bottle in his hand. 
Y/n smiles sweetly but the man easily sees the sadistic nature in her eyes. Just like her brothers.
“Thanks, Harry.” 
Harry waits about ten minutes after Y/n left before picking up the phone. When he receives no answer, he tries the next best. 
“Hello.”
“Hey Arthur, I need you to give Tommy a message.”
***
“You’re fucking crazy, Y/n Shelby.”
Johnny Dogs’ words has the youngest Shelby giggling loudly, almost falling off the black stallion Tommy gave Johnny years ago. 
“I rather be crazy than fucking normal.” She tips the bottle back, frowning when she barely gets a drop. She slides down off the stallion. “We need more rum.” She announces as she throws the bottle in the air, smiling when it crashes to the ground, shattering into pieces. 
“Y/n Shelby!”
“Fuck.” Y/n whispers. She searches around the wooded area with her eyes to try and find the best place to hide. Her gaze lands on an amused Johnny and her eyes instantly narrow. “Did you fucking snitch?”
Johnny’s eyes widen as he shakes his head. “I-I’ve been with you the whole time.”
“Huh, that’s true.” Hearing footsteps getting closer, Y/n remembers she was trying to escape. 
She takes about two steps before a strong hand grips around her forearm. “Just remember I’m drunk, you can’t yell at me.” She giggles but immediately stops when her eyes finally meet her brother’s. 
Tommy grins at his little sister, the same sadistic nature clouding his own eyes. “You want me to wait until you’re fucking sober, eh?”
Y/n is regretting her words. “No, Tommy, wait!” She tries to pull out of her brother’s grasp as he pulls her towards the pond. “Don’t you fucking dare!” She shouts when Tommy pulls her up into his arms. She tries to grip his coat, but being in the drunken state that she is, she’s not able to grip the material tight enough.
The sadistic grin stays until Y/n stops cursing and calms down. Once he has her attention, he drops any sign of amusement and his eyes narrow. “Feel better?”
“No.” Y/n sasses before pulling herself out of the water. 
Tommy points in the general direction he came from. “Go to the fucking car.”
“Which one?” She taunts.
“Mine. The one you stole.”
“Borrowed.” She mumbles, but scurries away when Tommy takes two threatening steps towards her. She gets lost twice; the alcohol still running through her veins is making her brain fuzzy. 
She screams when someone taps her shoulder.
“Bloody hell, Y/n.” Tommy snaps as he motions for her to follow him.
***
The ride to her brother’s house is dead silent. 
Y/n tries to flee up the stairs, but Tommy quickly snatches her arm in a firm grip.
"Not so fucking fast, young lady." He growls in her ear as he pulls her into his office, pushing her just enough to force her to sit on the couch.
"Stop fucking pushing me around!" She snaps.
Tommy points a warning finger mere inches from her face. "Watch the tone."
Y/n bites her lip to keep herself from pissing her brother off even more.
Slightly mollified with her silence, Tommy drops the pointed finger. "If you keep on like this, Y/n, I'm locking you in your fucking room until I find a man to marry you off to."
Y/n's jaw slacks open, hoping she heard her brother wrong. "You're not picking who I marry, asshole. Yes, I would love your blessing when I want to get married; but, as of now, I'm happy being alone. I'm barely of age, still have a few years before I even think about crossing that bridge."
Tommy had instantly regretted his words. He didn't really mean them... well, he didn't mean the part of marrying his baby sister off. Locking her in her room seems to be his only option right now.
"I'm not a child, Tom."
"Then stop fucking acting like one!" He roars, the last string holding his temper snaps. "Fuck, Y/n, every time I see you now, you're in some kind of trouble. You and Finn aren't kids anymore."
"It's not my fault that the only time you want to see your kid siblings is when they're making you look bad!" Y/n snaps back; her hurt and anger from being ignore for so long spilling from her mouth. "You used to want to be around Finn and I. Now you only see us when Arthur calls about our behavior; or Aunt Polly threatens to send us to live with you." She huffs out a humorless laugh. "I thought the older I would get, the more I could be with you, helping you with the business. But I guess I was fucking wrong. I guess there's not much Finn and I can do for you except run errands and be your little messengers."
“So are you done with the childish acts?”
Y/n swallows the sob threaten to escape. She finally sees Tommy; the new Tommy. The one who only cares about getting to the top and proving he’s worthy to sit at the adult table. 
He wants her to pretend they solved the issue so he can focus on something more important than her. “Yeah, I’ll behave.” She stands to her feet. “I’m guessing you don’t want me leaving the house anytime soon?”
Tommy nods his head, glad his sister isn’t arguing with him anymore. “You can leave when Pol says you can come back to her place.”
Y/n nods, quickly making her exit from his office so he won’t see the tears freely flowing down her face. 
Tommy drops his head, fighting with himself on whether he should stop her. He knows they didn’t make amends, but he has other business in London to tend to.
And if she keeps her word and behaves; he won’t have to worry about her, or Finn for that matter, every second of the day. He needs to stay sharp; his mind can’t be wandering back to his siblings’ whereabouts. 
Y/n wipes away the tears as she hears children laughing. She smiles when two kids run to greet her.
“Aunt Y/n, we missed you!”
She hugs them both. “Oh, I missed you too.”
She silently promises to her niece and nephew that she will do what her brother wishes as long as she can; just so she can be near them. They need a father; but she’ll do her best to fill in his spot. 
Forevers: @beautycinders​ @desiredposion​
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untilweyeetagain · 5 years ago
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SHE-RA WEEK DAY 7 - free day (S5 SPOILERS)
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Pairing: Perfuma/Scorpia
Summary: Once she had realised the true extent of her feelings towards Scorpia, Perfuma decides that the only course of action is to avoid her so she doesn't find out. Because that's bound to end well. Written for day 7 of she-ra week - free day
Word Count: 1327
Warnings: SEASON 5 SPOILERS!! also, perfuma being a useless lesbian lmao
Throughout the war against the Horde, Perfuma had always tried to maintain her regular meditation. It was something that brought her serenity, and it centered her in a way nothing else did. It allowed her to work through her emotions, and let go of those that hindered her. However, her peace was often disrupted by various things (usually needing to go fight the Horde), so she hadn’t been able to analyse her emotions as much as she needed to.
Now that she had the time, though, she took full advantage and she meditated daily before she slept, allowing her to sleep better than she had in awhile. Perfuma felt great - she was calm, and she was surrounded by her friends, who were all happy and okay. She was also ecstatic by the state of Etheria now that Adora had freed the magic stolen by the First Ones; the lush greenery that covered the planet made her feel so at-home. 
She loved her life, now that she no longer had to fight in a war to protect her friends. She had time to spend with her friends away from the battlefield, and she found herself forming connections with the newbies too - despite her early apprehension, she found a great friend in Catra, who was actually quite a softy under that prickly exterior. 
Perfuma had a problem, though. As she spent more time with her friends, and she spent more time thinking over her feelings towards them, she began to realise that she felt differently towards one of them. At first, she wondered if it was a bad thing - did she subconsciously hate her? She didn’t think she did, and it was when she realised that it was quite the opposite that her world turned upside down. She realised she had a crush on Scorpia, and she had no idea what to do.
Scorpia was the first person she had liked in that way before, and it scared her slightly. She knew that she was a very affectionate person, and she probably accidentally flirted with them all the time, but that was just how she was with her friends. 
She had known for a while that she was attracted to women, so it wasn’t that that scared her. It was the fact that it was one of her friends that made her worried. She loved her friends more than anything, so she didn’t know what she would do if one of them left her, and she couldn’t help but imagine that Scorpia would stop being her friend if she ever found out.
So she avoided her. Well, as much as possible, when they were all living at Bright Moon for the time being and therefore saw each other every day. Perfuma drew herself away, trying to make sure Scorpia couldn’t figure out that she liked her. She made sure to stay in her room during mealtimes, sneaking to the kitchens afterwards if she was hungry. She hurried through the corridors if she was ever required out in the castle, but if she wasn’t, she would remain locked in her chambers, meditating. 
It had never occurred to her that anyone would be worried by her strange new habits - she was so focused on making sure that Scorpia didn’t find out and wouldn’t stop being her friend, that the thought that distancing herself might cause the same thing didn’t cross her mind. Until she was confronted about it, that is.
Late in the morning one day a few weeks after Perfuma’s self-imposed isolation, there came a knocking at her door, disrupting her peaceful state. She sighed, getting up from her place on the floor, and she pulled open the door to find an anxious Scorpia there, claws raised to knock again.
“What are you doing here, Scorpia? Do you need anything?” She tried to act calm, even when her insides were tearing themselves apart with nerves and butterflies were making a home in her stomach.
“No, no, I don’t need anything, don’t worry,” the taller girl reassured her. “I was just wondering what you were up to. I haven’t seen you in ages, and I kinda missed you.” Perfuma might’ve been mistaken, but she could’ve sworn that Scorpia blushed while saying those last words.
“I… uh… I wanted to be alone?” That sounded false, even to her own ears. 
“Really? You never want to be alone, Flower. Why are you starting now?” Scorpia asked.
“I… well, I didn’t want to be alone, per se, it’s more that I didn’t want anyone to see me.” She admitted.
“Even me?” Scorpia sounded almost… hurt. Perfuma decided she was just hearing things - she hadn’t been hiding away for ages, and she said as much.
“I just wanted a couple of days by myself to… meditate, through some stuff.” She floundered, hoping her lie was believable. Well, it was more of a half-truth; she had meditated a lot, but that wasn’t her main reason for avoiding everyone.
“A couple of days? Perfuma, no one has seen you in three weeks! We’re all so worried about you! I’m so worried about you,” said Scorpia, her hand reaching out in an aborted motion that, if Perfuma hadn’t known better, she would’ve thought was intended to grab her hands. “What’s been going on?”
“Okay, I give in. I was scared that if you saw me, you’d figure something out and wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. I couldn’t handle not being your friend.” She looked up, finally making eye-contact with the taller princess. This time when Scorpia reached out her claws, she did take her hands, and she gave them a small squeeze.
“Why would I ever stop being your friend, Flower? There is nothing on this planet that could make me not want to be friends with you!” Scorpia sounded so convinced of this fact that Perfuma couldn’t help it anymore - she had to tell her, even if just to prove her wrong.
“I like you, alright? And not how a friend should like another friend. And I was scared you wouldn’t want to still be my friend if you knew.” She could feel the tears clawing at her, trying to leak down her face, but she held them back, the backs of her eyes burning with the effort as she trained her gaze on the floor between them.
And then the floor was suddenly not empty as Scorpia stepped forward, bringing her arms around Perfuma and hugging her tight. The embrace was comforting, and Perfuma finally felt the tears begin to fall as she clung to the girl in front of her, breathing in her familiar scent and feeling all the emotions she had tried to release coming back full-force. She sobbed, burying her neck into Scorpia’s neck, and the taller girl just held her tight, letting her cry.
“Well you were right, Flower,” Scorpia whispered into her hair, and Perfuma felt her body tense up at the rejection, her chest aching at the words she had expected but still didn’t want to hear. 
“You were right, Perfuma,” she repeated. “I don’t wanna be friends with you anymore. But I would like to be more.” And just as quickly as it had broken, her heart was mended, joy filling her at Scorpia’s words, hoping that they meant what she thought they meant.
“You mean…” she trailed off, still nervous that this wasn’t going to go well.
“I like you too, Flower.” And with that, Perfuma started crying again, but she quickly reassured Scorpia that they were happy tears.
She pulled her hands away from where they were still wrapped around Scorpia, and waved her fingers, feeling the magic running through them. In a second, a pretty flower bloomed there, and she reached up to tuck it behind Scorpia’s ear before tugging her close once more. She had never dared imagine that telling Scorpia would end like this, but she was pretty happy that it had.
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rkmason · 5 years ago
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 ▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟  EP. 4 PERFORMANCE ▰▰▰▰▰▰
the paint feels thicker this week, the air is thinner, and he smiles through it all the way he knows best. because the time to be upset about everything isn’t when they’re waiting to go on stage; it isn’t when they’re practicing for the next duo stage, and it isn’t now whenever he looks over at seunghun as people come on, greet each other, and prepare in whatever way they know best. for minho, he prefers socializing, despite how strained it feels once results come out. he knows last week didn’t feel easy, but he’s gonna make it seem that way right? he’s gotta stay himself and the truth is, instead of letting the win go to his head, he thinks of all the ways it could affect his new partner, nakyung as his former partner, and the others, especially those who think it’s unfair that an ex-idol is participating. while he’s shrouded in red because of the past two weeks, he thinks of the other labels he wears just by being here, just by existing in this space, on this competition.
he thinks about the ceos that have had him in their company already and why haven’t they gotten him kicked out yet. but he likes to think better of them. he likes to think that hyunbin probably sees now that minho didn’t quite fit in at nova and that baek jiyoung understands that he couldn’t give up the name of his girlfriend— or maybe this is his punishment for it. to be more publicly scrutinized than he was. to build him up higher so he can fall. his sister kept insisting it was a valid option. she didn’t think he should’ve signed up and it reminds him of sunmi’s reaction too, asking him why he signed up but the truth is he didn’t think he had to answer. he didn’t think he would need to, because the reason why is simple: he still wants to be on stage.
that’s selfish, it’s true. because he was on stage, because he was in a group, but, in the end, he couldn’t give up everything to stay there. is he so wrong for wanting to do it more on terms he likes? is he so wrong when he knows others before him who have done the same? left a company because of one term, one rule? because there were lines he drew and he couldn’t cross it. is that wrong of him? maybe it is, but he’d be damned if anyone tried saying he isn’t trying to learn and be better every day.
    ●●●●●●      LAST WEEK, ON THE THIRD EPISODE OF MGA S5 — 7월 11일      ●●●●●●
part of him feels greedy this week— greedy because it had originally been guilt, selfishness, whatever else he called it, whatever else it was and changed from— because he got to perform, he had fun, and he genuinely thinks it was one of the best performances he’s given in a while [because freedom while performing is something that’s underrated and overlooked but he had it; they had it], yet he wants another stage, another chance. he wants to perform again. he wants to be on stage again, he wants to see nakyung perform again too whether it’s with or without him the next time. he wants to keep going and he forgets about everything else whenever they’re waiting.
it’s relieving, to be able to let go of all of it, the past, the future, everything but right now.
but he doesn’t expect it again. he doesn’t expect to be called up again, at least not for this. he feared the opposite, being called up to be eliminated, but top 3 again? it’s too good to be true and he’s right back to it, right back to that dumb joke about his palms being sweaty and while he wants to laugh, his mind’s gone blank, and thank the heavens he’s conscientious enough of himself not to reach out and take nakyung’s hand because she’s got to be feeling nervous too right?
thinking of the performances that led all of them up there, the six of them waiting for the verdict, he can’t stop focusing on how different each one was. different moods, different vibes, just so different, and he’s back to wondering how the judges can even decide, can determine one is better than the other. he’s not envious of it, that’s for sure.
this itself feels like a type of punishment. he feels damned if they win, damned if they don’t. if they do, he doesn’t want to even think about the comments, about the contempt waiting nakyung more than him— ever since the duo concept was announced, he keeps thinking, it’s fine if it’s him. it’s fine if the negative commentary falls on him, but when it falls on his partner, he feels like it’s his fault and he doesn’t know if that feeling will fully go away. he hopes it does, wishes it could, but he thinks a connection to him right now is gonna end in pain in the long run.
[that, too, is one of the reasons he believed mijoo should’ve just broken up with him before. how long— no, that’s another rabbit hole. what’s with him and chasing those? alice isn’t even his favorite story or disney movie]
if they don’t win... he’s scared what the greed will turn into. envy, jealousy, those emotions he tried to never feel in childhood. he thought they would ruin him without understanding that being afraid of them was nearly just as bad. if they don’t win... would nakyung blame herself? because some people act like he’s a golden boy, like he’s an automatic winner, and it feels like a curse the more he reads or hears it.
when he hears their names, he gets that surreal feeling again, doubt nestles into the depths of his mind and he has half a mind to ask tiger jk to say that again— which is another fact he’s astounded by, it’s tiger jk telling him this and he feels smaller than he did in his first trc audition years ago. he wonders if the ceo remembers, if he recalls the cocky kid that came in and started rapping to his own song, but minho would believe it more if tiger jk forgot because he’s a dime a dozen back then. now, he likes to think he isn’t. now, he likes to think his name carries more weight, maybe too much, he ponders as he looks to nakyung, unable to help himself when he hugs her tightly. he’s more amazed by her small frame again and he has to laugh at how right tiger jk’s words were— they used their differences to their advantage and he’ll probably think of her as a cat from now on, just not in the she’s a furry sense, that’s too much for him. wouldn’t be fair to her either, although he doesn’t judge if s— that’s all besides the point.
for now, he lets himself be happy, grinning widely and giving himself this moment. everyone else’s reactions can wait— he’ll be greedy a little longer, let himself have this a little longer. a high title is a blessing and a curse; for now, all he feels is the bliss that comes with the blessing.
he’s still on cloud nine when he tries looking for his new partner, recalling the performance he gave with his previous partner vividly once he spots him. that’s right, spicy pork. now that he thinks about it again, he’s hungry just like he was earlier when they introduced themselves. it was cute, clever, but the hunger pain was a little too real and he’s hoping seunghun won’t say no when he invites him out to eat.
“is it too weird if i say i wanna get some spicy pork?”
the night goes by well and they end up going to karaoke somehow— he says somehow but the truth is minho loves going to noraebang to get to know someone. there’s just something different about getting to know someone’s taste through their karaoke song choices instead of talking about favorite songs and artists. for people aspiring to also be artists, it says a lot about the style you like, that you either think you can pull off amazingly or think you can only pull off in a karaoke room.
minho’s only problem is stopping because he has no shame trying any song. ask him to and he’ll sing songs like ain’t no mountain high enough, reflection, and that one song where there’s no line but tequila. that one’s just amazing. he’s surprised no one’s done it for the mgas yet. come on, it’s just magic waiting to happen. that’s another problem for him too, he’s almost enough of a wreck to do it for fun. good thing he’s taking this a lot more seriously than even his friends expected him, than they expected him to the first time around too.
what he learns quickly is that seunghun’s fun to be around, serious when it comes to music, incredibly creative, and minho’s more than happy that he feels comfortable with him as quickly as he did with nakyung. speaking of magic, it’s just magic when you can click with someone despite only knowing each other for a short time.
he doesn’t remember who exactly entered the song first [but he does remember laughing because it’d gone through multiple times by the time they left the place, that he’s definitely a bit guilty of; what can he say? it’s a great song] but he does remember the moment the next day that they decide to use it for their performance and how things melded together perfectly.
there’s a few things to smooth out, of course, and minho wants to write his own rap for it, wants to get a sense of the vibe they’re going for, for the message he’s going for, but one thing’s for sure: he’s gonna love the performance this week too. maybe this is what he’s the most greedy for, exploring music and getting to work with talented people each week, learning their similarities and differences, feeling that passion for music again and again. no, more than that, it’s about sharing that passion and he’s glad, even if they’d joked about ballads. minho could joke that he dodged a bullet with that one but, hey, to be honest he’s sure he and seunghun could make it work if they chose a different song. he has a feeling there isn’t a song he wouldn’t mind working with the other on.
over the week, the more they practice, the more they coordinate, the less minho feels pressured by the memory of his last time being partnered with another male. sure, he felt it last week with nakyung, worrying that he’ll end up being bad for her standing in the competition, but this week there’s definitely a different notion to it, a more familiar sense of it whenever seunghun calls him hyung. it’s not as if there isn’t a few people who call him hyung on a regular basis. hell, dabin does it all the time but there’s something about lately that makes him more wistful and he misses his own younger brother more in the end, wondering where he is by now in his travel plans. he could check the group chat with his family specifically for chris to share his pictures and updates but then he thinks of what chris said when he heard about the mgas, when it got around to him while he was in thailand.
heh, it’s alright hyung. i knew you’d chose the stage over me
he knows it was a joke. between them, it’s mostly jokes but it doesn’t change that he could’ve been doing that. this time, the greed hits him harder. yeah, greed is a better word for it this time around. selfish sounds too kind, too gentle. he’s greedy. the word is catchier too, right? must be why ariana grande made a song with the namesake.
they’ve come up with their introduction for the show and minho’s having the time of his life trying to figure out what to do exactly. just the perfect touch by bringing—
“oh, hold on a second, i gotta take this.”
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀  I KNOW WHEN THAT HOTLINE BLING 📱
“hey chris, what’s up? are you okay?”
“can’t i call you without anything being wrong?”
he can hear his brother’s voice and the eventual laughter only faintly, furrowing his brows as he strains to hear. “how come you sound so far away?”
“i am far away.”
“gee, thanks genius.”
“you did struggle with world geography.”
“no, i didn’t!”
his brother’s chuckling sounds closer now and minho feels better knowing that chris doesn’t seem down, that it must’ve just been in his mind right? “hey, come on. you’re good right? didn’t get yourself arrested or something?
“is that how lowly you think of me?”
“nah, i lost the bet since you’ve made it this far without trouble.”
“fuck you, man.”
“language.”
“alright, cap.”
minho’s laughing again but he keeps asking himself why chris isn’t answer the question. “you good?”
“what are you, a parrot?”
“yeah, call me iago, jackass. answer the question.”
“i think i’m feeling homesick.”
“yeah?”
“yeah.” just when minho’s about to speak, chris cuts him off. “so i’m coming to seoul next. i need ya to tell me soon if i’m hanging out mostly with dabin and seik hyung or if i gotta wait for you to finish filming. maybe i’ll hold off a couple days.”
he’s quiet at first, torn between grinning and feeling like he’s about to cry. what’s wrong with him that he feels this way so often lately?
“you there? they don’t do the live audience thing anymore, right? sucks. i wanted to see you trip on stage.”
“no one in their right mind would let you into the studios.”
“yeah, yeah. i don’t need’ta hear more of your bullshit that you’re the better looking one. i bet i land and get scouted before you’re done with that show.”
“okay, tell me what happens when you land.”
“you got it,” there’s scuffling sounds in the background and chris says a quick i gotta go but it’s what he says last that gets minho the most. it was rushed but at least his baby brother still said it, still wants to come to seoul to see him. he’s coming to see minho because he’s homesick, but he also told him: “hey hyung, one more thing. go get ‘em.”
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING
when he comes back, he’s in a noticeably more cheerful mood, grinning as they finalize things. that one last finishing touch, truly a chef’s kiss.
   ●●●●●●      ONE STEP CLOSER, JUST BEFORE THE RECORDING — 7월 18일      ●●●●●●
he’s had a few worries this week— most that were probably exaggerated in his mind because, similar to nakyung, seunghun doesn’t mind minho’s past. in fact, seunghun didn’t know much about convex and his taste is more of the older generation of idols, something minho resonates with more than seunghun would probably know. now that he thinks about it, it was his own lack of knowledge about idols and groups and the big 5 that made him decide he wasn’t ready after his first try on the mgas. slowly, he changed his mind and he’s asking himself again if he’s ready this time. it’s weird but, again, he doesn’t know. because, in the end, this time, it’s not about him being ready or not, it’s about him getting the opportunity in the first place and for a guy trying to get his third chance at a company? he knows he’s lucky enough to be considered and for being allowed into the competition, shock value or ratings impact aside.
it takes a lot of pressure off of him, knowing that seunghun isn’t bothered by what follows minho on this show. the comments, the way airtime is given— that reminds him that he was glad about what vernon said even if there’s a chance the guy might not feel the same after not winning the top performance of the week because of him and nakyung. it takes a lot of pressure off of him knowing that he has a friend to do covers with, regardless of the results, because whether they were in seunghun’s studio or his own place, they got along so well and meshed together when it came to music that minho didn’t think it should end anytime soon. it’s almost a shame they only get a week, with any of their partners.
they’re not too far from the studio when minho stops seunghun, “hey, i got you something” and he’s proud of himself for having found it, for getting over the vaguely toxic masculine line of thinking that flowers might be too girly but hey he’s gotten a theme going here now and maybe it’s good luck for him to give his next partner a gift that’s not quite the same but similar, something that’ll remind them both of their performance tonight. besides, a flower for a pretty flower right? he could snort but it’s not like he said the joke out loud, might come off too random if he did. “you know, because i know i don’t have to pull petals off to know too.” it’s an inside joke until later and he can see the weird look dabin is giving him since he hasn’t left yet but he waves it off, shaking his head after saying he and seik will come back for him later when recording is finished. he’s laughing when his friend leaves and he looks to seunghun with a bright grin. now to head inside—
there’s a few things he expects once he’s inside, like saying hi to sakura and giving her his best wishes, even looking for nakyung to do the same, but what he does not expect is for daniel, the guy from the band that’s on the show— empty enigma right? man, does the name sound familiar before now... anyway— to bow to him. before he can stop it, minho’s bowing back while going “noooo” and laughing as he explains that it’s not necessary but daniel seems friendly if not overly polite. he didn’t expect anyone to bow to him in such a manner and he feels bashful for once, more so than when nak asked for his autograph on her convex cd the first time they practiced together. the interaction is surprising to say the least but minho thinks it seems like him, on brand is what they call it right? he’s almost too open with himself, and minho can’t help smiling at the thought that it reminds him of himself a bit. wouldn’t it be funny if daniel walked away from the finale with an offer from sphere?
things settle down and minho’s nodding, chuckling as he pats seunghun’s shoulder at the mention of backing out of their intro. “ ‘course not, man,” and he’s gotta question if seunghun understands just how shameless minho can be sometimes. it might be better if he doesn’t though, especially better if seunghun never goes through minho’s old instagram posts. ah, this is exactly why ahyoung called him out on a bunch of things when they first met.
      ●●●●●●      NEXT ON STAGE, MINHO AND SEUNGHUN,  EP. 4 — 7월 18일      ●●●●●●
hearing his name called this time with seunghun’s sends electricity through his veins and he’s excited. he’s practically bouncing on his feet by the time they make it up there and he knows he has to cool it, despite how very un-cool and more cute their introduction is. but hey, get a guy who can do both right? what’s better than two guys who can do both? they’re pretty flower boys— he says in unison with seunghun after they finish bowing, flower pose with their hands under their chins and all and he thinks it’s cute that seunghun is more embarrassed by all of this than he is. it’s exactly why seunghun suits the daisy.
but first up, the rose.
“hey, i’m the fiery red rose of the group, burning with my passion for you.” part of him tries to ignore how they sound like the set-up for a fanfiction or cute manga plotline but another part of him wants to embrace it, like the nova boys would. that much, he does miss. some of his relationships with them, even if one had burned since then. not missing his timing, minho kisses the rose and throws it to nakyung, though he can’t tell if she was able to catch it without struggling. he hopes not. seunghun’s intro is as sweet and gentle as he comes off as and he’s glad for the change in their song later, proud of how charismatic seunghun will be once they start and he thinks maybe they should’ve switched intros jokingly.
his heart is practically thrashing [yeah, yeah, he knows not literally but damn does it feel like it] when the music starts but he feels how it matches the rhythm once he looks to seunghun, because he has faith in how well they’ve prepared, how well they mesh together, and how the song sounds, how they took two songs and made it theirs, perfect for two pretty flower boys, ayyy.
he thinks he’s calmed down a little but seeing a few familiar faces do the point dance from gashina— junhee, hyunggu, kyungsoo, sihyeon, heejin, yeji, all names he’s been learning and looking out for since the competition narrowed down, all just as talented and impressive— he feels hype all over again and well . . .  에라 모르겠다, just go with it, right?
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 가시나 GASHINA   &&. 에라 모르겠다 FXXK IT ♫ MASH-UP IS SELF-PRODUCED BY MINHO &&. SEUNGHUN, RAP WRITTEN BY MINHO NOTE: THE GESTURES & EXPRESSIONS IN VIDEO ARE SIMILAR IF NOT WRITTEN !
seunghun sings the beginning of another popular hit song, but the mood is similar, a message about love, about deciding eh, whatever [에라 모르겠다] and he grins once the realization settles in. his rap verges a little from the message of the song, in that it’s not just about love, but about them, about performing, about how they can’t be ignored and will keep flying high. honestly, it’s for all of them because he thinks it’s a message that’s overlooked with the disappointment of the show, this isn’t the end. it can be a new beginning whether or not you make it to the next round and he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t believe in that, if he didn’t believe that one end isn’t another beginning or he’d be back home, or traveling with chris.
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 좋아 이젠 너를 잊을 수 있게 FINE, I’LL FORGET YOU
꽃같이 살래 나답게 I’M GONNA LIVE LIKE A FLOWER, I’LL BE MYSELF ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
it’s a message he’s been saying for years, before moving to seoul, before learning how to properly dance at all, before trying to rap seriously for the first time. be yourself. it’s why he loves the song more than people expect— because everyone remembers the point dance, that she sings of someone leaving her behind when she’s so pretty but it’s also about finding strength on your own, a lesson he thinks everyone needs at least once. a lesson he’s grateful he’s learning now, to stand on his own feet, to continue standing on a stage people think he hasn’t earned or whatever it is. whatever people say, he wants to grow, to stand tall and proud like a pretty flower, as much as it was said for comedic relief, despite being said for that purpose, that it’s funny and cute.
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EVERY DAY WE PLAY THE GAME WITH TWO OF US, NO CHANCE OF LOSING 행진 충만한 느낌과 [MUSIC]* MUSIC FEELING LIKE WE’RE ON A WINNING STREAK 허를 찌르는 우리들의 불규칙*   OUR UNPREDICTABILITY CATCHES YOU OFF-GUARD 지금 처럼에 [KEEP IT GOIN’ GOIN’ OUR WAY] LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW, KEEP IT GOIN’ GOIN’ OUR WAY WHO SAID WE CAN’T WHO SAID WE WON’T I SAY WE CAN YEAH WE CAN 더 이상 앞이 막혀있지 안게 THERE’S NOTHING BLOCKING (US) 열려라 참깨 문을 열어 OPEN IT, OPEN SESAME OPEN THE DOOR
밝은 미래 향해 날아 FLY TOWARDS A BRIGHT FUTURE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ *HANGUL WAS CHANGED FOR THIS PERFORMANCE FROM THE VIDEO
the cute charm of seunghun comes back when he sings the same line minho made sound more like a rap, both of them putting their own spin on it, and he’s looking over with a smile when seunghun makes another flower with his hands but most of all he thinks of what this is building up into, the climax of the song, seunghun’s high note and how they converge the song together, with each other and his next line hits harder than it should.
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 오랜만에 느껴보는 이런 떨림 HAVEN’T FELT THIS NERVOUS IN A WHILE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
there’s a sense of relief that washes him over him when seunghun delivers the high note perfectly and while he didn’t have doubts in seunghun’s talent, he hoped the nerves wouldn’t hit, that seunghun would be able to show off that power vocal he’s been cheering about in every practice and he’s glad the judges can see what he could: the potential. all he can think of towards the end is this: 에라 모르겠다  GIRL I WANNA GET DOWN  
PROFILE / SKILLS / AUDITION / EPISODE 1 / EPISODE 2 / EPISODE 3 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EP. 4: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW
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spnjediavenger · 6 years ago
Text
Chapter 2: Motels and Memories
Disclaimers: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters
Time frame: set early S5
Notes: flashbacks made possible by @sarimaposthumous ; we are connecting our fics a little bit (hers is called The High Priestess – go check it out). More background on her character, Shane to come!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2: Motels and Memories 
           Elliana’s legs were sore and her stomach was empty. It had only been a few days but her money ran out and she hadn’t slept in a real bed since leaving her home.
           After walking so far, her legs finally collapsed underneath her. She sat on the ground, taking in her surroundings to find somewhere to rest, when her eyes stopped on a rustic-looking building around the corner. She begrudgingly got up and walked to it and stepped inside, only to find out it was a bar.
           She sighed and ran a hand through her slightly messy hair and asked to just use the restroom, finding any excuse to be inside for even a little bit. It didn’t take any more than that for the employees to be concerned, and the manager had approached her when she came out, offering a meal in exchange for her story.
             “Kid? Hey, kid!” Dean called from the driver’s seat, snapping Elliana from her trance.
           “What?”
           Dean rolled his eyes but responded. “I said, ‘we’re here’. Let’s go.”
           Ellie grabbed her backpack, duffel, and Anaya’s leash and opened the Impala’s door, following Sam and Dean to their next motel, and sighed. Even though she was used to these places, she still hated them.
           “The hunters that travel – how do they live? Where do they live?”
           “Sometimes they sleep in their car in the middle of nowhere or will squat in any empty house if they’re low on money. When they do have money, they just stay in motels.”
           “Sounds kinda crappy, but it’s better than sleeping outside,” Ellie said, giving a sad smirk as she thought of the past couple nights before stopping at the bar; sleeping under bridges or in a secluded corner, only being able to get a few hours’ sleep each night because she was too afraid of being caught off-guard.
           After almost 24 hours on the road, Ellie supposed she was willing to accept anything besides the Impala’s back seat to sleep on.
           Once the guys paid for a room, they piled in and set their things down. Taking a quick look around, Ellie saw a small bathroom ahead, a small kitchenette, two beds, and a couch in front of a TV.
           “Ok, I don’t know what you’re used to-“
           “I’ll take the couch,” Elliana interrupted Dean.
           “No, I’ll take the couch,” Sam said, not wanting a 13-year-old to have to sleep on a motel couch.
           “Your chivalry is appreciated but not necessary,” Ellie said, a light smirk on her face. Sam looked unsure so she rolled her eyes and continued. “If it bothers you that much, we can trade off. I’ll take the couch this time, you can take it next time. Ok?”
           Sam let out an airy chuckle and nodded his head, turning towards the bathroom but groaning when Dean ran past him to get to it first, practically closing the door in his face.
           Ellie held in a laugh and unhooked Anaya’s leash, letting her roam around the small room while she took a few things out of her backpack.
           As soon as Anaya was free, she padded over to Sam, who now sat on the edge of one of the beds. The dog placed her head under his hand and sat in front of him. Sam couldn’t help but smile. He had to admit – it was pretty nice having a dog around.
           “So why ‘Anaya’?” he asked Elliana, gently stroking the dog’s fur.
           “It’s Arabic; means ‘care’ or ‘protection’,” she responded, not looking up from her bag.
           “So is she your protector?” Sam said, hoping some light prodding would get the girl to open up to him a little bit.
           Elliana sensed this, though, and turned to look at him; at first, however, she was thrown off by how close and calm Anaya was with him. She was not a very trusting dog, aside from with Ellie, and was always quite standoffish with strangers.
           The dog’s apparent trust in the younger Winchester put Elliana a little more at ease so she sighed and answered him. “Shortly after I started hunting, I was in trouble with a werewolf. She came out of nowhere and tackled it, giving me the chance to get my knife back and kill it. So, I took her with me. Her senses are good and she’s been a great hunting partner. We protect each other.”
           Sam blinked in surprise, not expecting an actual answer from Ellie. But his surprise was replaced with a small smile as he nodded and looked back to the dog.
           “I’m surprised she’s like that with you,” Ellie added absently, going back to organizing her things. “She never takes to strangers at all hardly; she’s known you for like, 2 days and is acting like your friend.”
           “She obviously knows an awesome person when she sees one,” he said, smirking Ellie’s way.
           “Wow, and here I thought Dean was the cheeky one,” she joked, giving no reaction.
           Baby steps, Sam thought.
           Another day, another state, another hunt, and of course – another motel.
           Elliana and the Winchesters just completed a hunt chasing a shapeshifter, and let’s just say Ellie, for once, couldn’t get into the motel soon enough. Exhaustion slowed her movements and clouded her mind; all she wanted was a shower and some sleep.
           Once in their room, Dean, as usual, ran to the bathroom first, getting an eye roll from both Sam and Ellie. Sam allowed Ellie to go next, leaving Anaya with the boys. Dean walked past, giving her a quick pet, and walked to his bag to throw his dirty clothes in it. He turned around to see Sam’s shocked expression.
           “What?”
           “You pet the dog…”
           “She was there, I walked by, why not? Don’t make a big deal out of it,” Dean said, quickly dismissing the matter. Sam smirked a bit but dropped it. It wasn’t just the dog, though. Elliana had been with the boys for about five days now and she was slowly growing on Dean – even if she was still a bit wary of them both. Dean had even put himself into the switching for beds idea with her and Sam.
           Elliana got out of the bathroom and clomped over to the couch, but Dean put a cautious hand on her shoulder and nodded to one of the beds.
           “I know it’s your turn for the couch, but why don’t you take the bed tonight? Looks like you could use it,” he said simply, doing his best to keep any traces of a soft demeanor from showing on his face.
           Ellie wanted to protest, not wanting to be babied, but her sore muscles and tempting look of the beds won her over. She gave Dean a quiet ‘thanks’ and went over to the bed, falling not-so-gracefully onto it with a happy groan, Anaya quick to join her, laying across her owner’s back.
           Sam and Dean let out silent chuckles and went about their post-hunt routines.
           One week with the Winchesters and Elliana was still fairly closed off. She would talk to them, but the second they brought up anything personal, her communication cut off for a short time.
           The next motel they were in was a bit nicer than any of them were used to, and this time an extra person met them there. Upon seeing someone in the room when the door was opened, Elliana drew a knife from her belt and held it up defensively.
           “Who are you?!”
           “Woah, kid, hold it!” Dean called, grabbing the knife from her hand.
           “He’s with us, Elliana,” Sam coaxed a bit urgently, not wanting a situation starting.
           “Kid, this is Cas, Cas this is Elliana,” Dean said, gesturing to each person as he introduced them.
           “Elliana,” Cas said contemplatively. “What a beautiful name.”
           The man’s relaxed demeanor and gravely voice had a strangely calming effect on Ellie, causing her to relax her shoulders. “Thanks…” she said, hoping none of the guys could see the light blush dusting her cheeks. “It means ‘God’-“
           “’God has answered,’” she and the angel ended up saying at the same time.
           Ellie looked at him, confused. “Are you religious or something? Not many people know that name.”
           “Cas is an angel,” Dean said.
           “No way.” The bright smile on Elliana’s face shocked the boys. After a week, they hadn’t gotten anything other than a tiny smirk; Cas is around for a minute and she smiles. “Like, a real live angel? From heaven?!”
           “Yes,” Cas answers, a bit surprised at her reaction. “My full name is Castiel, but here I am mainly called ‘Cas’.”
           “No way,” Elliana repeats in awe, still smiling.
           Cas was still fairly new to humans and their emotions but he could see a sparkle in her eyes as she looked at him.
           “Cas, how’d you do that?” Sam asks, jaw dropped a bit.
           “Do what? I don’t understand.”
           “Get her to smile? We’ve been tryin’ for a week now,” Dean added, just as dumbfounded as his brother.
           Ellie rolled her eyes a bit then turned her attention back to Cas.    
           “What’s heaven like? Do all angels look human? How come you’re on earth?”
           Cas couldn’t help the small smile that made its way on his face the innocent questions and excitement in Elliana’s voice
           A few days later, another state, another hunt, you know the drill.
           Elliana, Sam, and Dean sat in the small living area of their current motel room, eating dinner before they would turn in for the night. Elliana sat on the couch with Dean, to both boys’ surprise, and Sam sat on the chair perpendicular to them.
           “Alright kid, it’s been a week and a half of you bein’ with us and we don’t know squat about you. I get you don’t trust anyone but you gotta know by now that we’re not here to hurt you,” Dean said, bypassing any gentler ways to bring the topic up.
           “What Dean means,” Sam interjected, knowing he’d be better than his brother with touchier topics. “Is that we’d like to get to know you a bit. It doesn’t have to be anything that deep if you don’t want. How about a question for a question? You can ask us anything, then we get to ask you something,” he finished, a hopeful look and easygoing smile on his face.
           “Look, you’re not going crazy; and I know it’s a lot to process. I’ll tell you everything you need to know and answer any questions as long as you tell me what happened. Does that sound like a deal?”
           Ellie looked at the table and let out a sigh. The man seemed nice enough. And the thought of talking about her experience to someone who actually believes in the supernatural? She felt a small spark in her chest at the idea.
           “Ok…how about a question for a question? You can go first since you gave me food,” Ellie said, giving a weak smirk and finally giving some attention to the meal in front of her.
           He nodded and thought about it for a second before asking, “What’s your name?”
           “Elliana. What’s yours?”
           “Shane.”
             “Ok,” she whispered. “You can go first, I guess.”
           “Where are you from?” Sam asked, deciding to start small.
           “Where are you from?”
           “Pittsburgh,” she answered simply, testing to see what little she could get away with telling him. Even though Ellie wanted to get things off her chest, she was still wary.
             “Pittsburgh.”
           “Are you a hunter?”
           “Yes,” Shane answered as simply as Elliana, making her purse her lips a bit. She should have known better than to ask a yes or no question. “Do you have any relatives you can contact or stay with?”
           Though the next question was a bit heavier, Ellie stood her ground and let out a simple ‘no’. She took a drink and considered her next question more carefully.
           “How did you…first find out monsters were real?” she asked.
           Shane continued playing along. “Through a tragic experience.”
             “How did you guys become hunters?” Ellie asked the boys, learning from last time.
           “Our dad was one,” Dean answered, immediately seeing the game Elliana was playing. “What happened to your family?” Sam gave him a bitch face but Dean just looked straight at Elliana.
           She took a deep breath and held it for a second, wondering whether or not to start opening up yet.
           “What happened to your family?”
            After Shane had opened up to Elliana a bit and told her that his adopted daughter’s family was killed by demons, explaining herself was easier. It was relieving, then, to tell what happened to her. She told her story, voice quivering, and tears escaping by the end. She wasn’t sure if she could do that with the boys yet. Part of her wanted to, but she just didn’t know if they would be as trustworthy as Shane.
Seeing Elliana’s pause, Sam shot Dean another look and spoke up. “Our mom was killed by a demon. Our dad became a hunter after that so, naturally, we eventually did too,” he explained, willing to level more with Ellie than Dean was. And at this statement, Ellie, again, couldn’t help the shock on her face. Could this be possible? She thought. Another person who’s family had been killed by demons?
Flashes of her parents laying dead in her living room came across her mind as well as picturing Jenny being alone, also surrounded by her deceased family.
The demon, in a different body, throwing her dad against the wall, sliding a knife into her mom.
A young girl with no knowledge of the supernatural, wondering what happened to her family.
Two young boys growing up without a mother, their father surely hell-bent on revenge.
A few tears slid down Ellie’s cheeks and she heard Anaya let out a small whine, jumping onto the couch to push herself through her arms.
“I…me too,” Elliana said, not bothering to wipe away her tears, though they began falling a bit faster as she continued. “My brother moved after he got possessed a few years ago…then my dad got possessed an-and the demon killed my parents a day after he left my dad. Not that it mattered anyway.” Elliana whispered the last part, focusing her gaze down to her hands as they made their way through Anaya’s fur.
“Why do you say that?” Dean asked gently, a newly found softness in his expression.
The girl just squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. She didn’t notice Sam get up and sit next to her until he put an arm around her shoulders. When she didn’t do anything to push Sam away, Dean hesitantly put his hand over one of hers. The affections make her cry a little harder, as she wasn’t used to being cared about even before she had first left home.
“He-he was just…he never…” she tried continuing but only ended up letting out a quick sob and being pulled into Sam’s side. She allowed herself to cry into his shoulder and Dean to rub soothing circles on her back in comfort. She hadn’t planned on letting them in so much, but boy did it feel good.
Two weeks in and Elliana wasn’t sure she wanted to leave the Winchesters. Once she opened up to them, she truly saw they were caring and that they had begun to care about her. And she didn’t want to let that go.
“Look, kid – I know you’ve got a strong head on your shoulders and are about as stubborn as they come,” Ellie let out a sly smile at this, “but I really would like for you to consider staying here for some time. Hell, maybe you and Jenny can go into the hunting business together,” Shane chuckled.
 Ellie frowned a bit, remembering Shane’s kindness and hospitality; she felt bad for leaving so quickly, but she knew she had to keep moving. At least with the Winchesters, she could do that and have companionship going with her.
She smiled lightly as she stared out the Impala window, grateful she found something good. It wasn’t long before she dozed off across the back seat, an arm draped across Anaya.
Sam caught a glimpse of her sleeping and nudged Dean, nodding his head towards the back with a fond smile on his face. Dean glanced in the rearview mirror and smiled at the peaceful smile look on Elliana’s face.
Her form shivered ever so slightly and Sam shrugged off his flannel shirt and draped it over Ellie, resting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a light squeeze before sitting back in his seat. Ellie had begun thinking more highly of the boys, and they had started thinking the same of her.
Chapter 3 ->
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theclaravoyant · 7 years ago
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I just saw your post about "taking meds doesn't make you weak" and it made me kind of emotional, so, you know, if you ever feel like writing Fitz taking his meds (and getting the care he deserves/needs, tbh), I'd lowkey die. Love you.
AN ~ That’s my secret Cap, I always feel like writing about Fitz taking his meds and getting the care he deserves/needs :P I tried to fit in an S5 section but I couldn’t find a way of dealing with That Ep that sat well with me so have some S2 May & Fitz instead.
Also suits @leofitznetwork‘s May is for Mothers challenge. Happy Mothers Day!Also tagging @agentcalliope bc I haven’t seen her around these days but the spirit of Mamma May & Fitz’s brotps are always with us both.
Read on AO3 (~1300wd)
-
Help
When May heard the knock at her door, she wasn’t expecting it to be Fitz on the other side. He didn’t tend to voluntarily seek out interaction with anyone these days. Still, she was glad to see him – even if the way he curled his shoulders and looked at the floor was so different than before. He’d always been a little bit shy, but when it came to his work, he’d been just as proud; defensive, even a show-off at times. She hadn’t even really noticed, that unstable coexistence was part of him, until it had disappeared.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked, barely more than a mumble.
“Of course. Come in.”
It was curiosity and sympathy in equal parts that made May stand behind her desk, welcoming Fitz into the room with his armfuls of blueprints. Fitz met her eyes asking for permission for something, and when she provided no objection, he moved her chairs about until he could spread his blueprints over a bumpy self-assembled surface. He’d drawn a plane. An impressive one. She perused it carefully for a moment, before Fitz called back her attention.
“It’s- it’s a plane,” he explained. “Bigger than the Bus. Better. More… More… Better, it’s just, it’s better.”
He waved dismissively over his shoulder at something she couldn’t see, and then quickly shuffled through the blueprint sheets to find the one he was after. Perhaps he had been contemplating explaining the many features of the plane to her, May speculated, but upon realising how hard it would be, had decided to skip ahead through the presentation. She waited patiently, until she realised that he was holding a pen out to her. The sheet now at the top of the heap was some kind of control panel – the cockpit, she realised.
“You’re the pilot,” he said. “It’s yours.”
May took the pen. “You want my opinion? My thoughts on this?”
Fitz nodded. He watched the tip of the pen. May pulled off the cap but couldn’t quite bring herself to unnecessarily mark his meticulously drawn plans. How long must these have taken? So instead she handed the pen back and simply pointed out:
“It’s good. But if you can get this and this closer together, that would be better. Also, if this switch could be on the left –“
“I can do that.” Fitz smiled, hopeful, and made a few scribbles on his plan anyway. “Anything else?”
“I suppose Coulson wants a cupholder?” May let her lip curl up in a smile and Fitz snorted. It was not so long ago that he and Coulson had theorized adding all manner of ridiculous unnecessary installations to the Bus; it seemed only logical that, even in their more thrifty circumstances, at least some amenities should remain. Gleefully, he made a note of this.
Then he looked over his shoulder, at nothing again, and frowned. Scowling back down at the blueprints before him, his grip tightened on the pencil until the nib pressing into the paper snapped. May frowned too.
“You okay?”
Fitz waved her off, cursing as he erased the nonsensical spattering of markings he’d just made. “Tired, that’s all.”
“Have you taken your meds?”
“N-No.” Fitz ducked his head. May’s eyes narrowed slightly and he felt the need to explain himself. “I don’t like it. It makes me feel gross.”
“Gross how?” May put a hand to her stomach. “Gross here?”
“No. Gross. Bad.” Fitz struggled to say what he meant. There must be something, the word for it, the word for what he felt when other people looked at him, when they saw him taking medication or talking to himself or rocking or stuttering. When the doctors talked slowly to him as if they thought he might not understand. It reminded him – it reminded him of how Ward and his dad and that lot had always looked at him. “Weak.”
May raised her eyebrows a little.
“You think taking your medication makes you weak?” she asked him. “Makes you a worse Agent?Fitz shrugged. He wanted to say how he didn’t think that was possible, how being like this was about as useless as he could get as far as being an Agent was concerned, but try as he might he couldn’t object: he liked the sympathy. His body and mind lapped it up. It had been so long, he thought, since somebody had even tried to understand.
“Fitz,” May went on, her tone concerned and a little scolding. “Do you know how many other people on this base take medication?”
Fitz shrugged again.
“Do you know I used to take medication just like yours?”
That stopped him. Puzzled him. He looked up, fixating on May’s face and checking for tells – people were lying more and more to him these days, and he wasn’t always good at knowing when. But she seemed earnest. That didn’t fit. How could that crawling pity, that sense of helplessness, how could that reconcile with one of the strongest women he knew? How could anyone dare look at her like that?
“You remember The Cavalry?” May pressed.
Fitz nodded, a little hesitantly. He still felt bad, for being one of thousands of people who’d once made jokes out of that. He’d still not apologised. Not technically. But he did remember.
“After that, I went through… a very bad time,” May continued.
This made Fitz feel worse. He wasn’t much used to her confessing that anything was a very bad time. If he knew stoics – and he did – that was more than an understatement.
“I did a lot of things to get through it,” May explained. “I did meditation, I did exercise, I did all those things – it wasn’t until much later I had medication. I thought like you. I thought it would make me look weak, make other people think badly of me. Now I think it was what helped me get strong again. I had a life once, and it fell apart because of what happened in Bahrain. Sometimes – sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I’d taken the advice of a man I once knew, and tried it a little earlier. Maybe I wouldn’t have lost… what I did.”
Fitz blinked, bewildered and a little overwhelmed. He’d never heard such a string of words come from May’s lips, not authentically at any rate, and that was alarming enough. The thought of her, though – her, of all people - having her body, her life beyond her control too; having a blanket of depression that was perhaps even heavier than his; it was a sobering thought.
It had sobered her too, apparently, and she drew a rattling breath.
“Look, all I’m saying is, medication is a tool,” May clarified. “You know for a fact it helps you, and only you know how much. Only you can decide if it’s worth it in the end, but what matters is: it’s okay to need that help. It’s okay. I promise.”
“Really?”
“Really.” May swallowed, hard. “Don’t let yourself lose what I lost just because people look at you differently now. They’ll do that anyway. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of yourself.”
The way May held his gaze when she finished sent a chill down Fitz’s spine. It was as though he’d witnessed some sort of witching hour, a realm just a little outside reality. Yet the way her eyes pierced through him was as real and as May as anything he’d ever felt. More than anything, it told him he was loved here. He was loved far and away above the value of his sketches or his words or even his badge. He was loved beyond any sense of weakness that he might be thinking they perceived.
But he wasn’t sure how to tell May he’d figured out any of this, or how much he appreciated it, so he simply nodded instead.
“I will.” And gathered up his sketches. “Thanks for your help.”
“If you need anything else,” May said, “let me know.”
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sickficgalore · 7 years ago
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Prompt: Post-S5, Allura is back at the Galra headquarters to look at more of Lotor's research. She finds herself wanting to see more of the strangely-absent new emperor, who has sequestered himself to hide the fact that he's come down sick and is feeling absolutely miserable. Obvs she finds out and wants to help him.
“How interesting. Lotor sure knows a lot about quintessence, far more than I do.” Allura said, taking a tour of Lotor’s research laboratory guided by Lotor’s trusted research assistant.
“The Prince has dedicated a lot of his time to his research. He is rather passionate.” The assistant replied.
“I can tell. Also, where is Lotor? Usually he brings me around whenever I visit.” Allura wondered. She had expected Lotor to be awaiting her arrival, but to her slight disappointment, he was not there.
“He said he’s been rather busy. He’s been in his room for the past two days not eating anything. He also won’t let anyone in his room. I wonder what he’s working on..” his assistant said, sounding worried.
“Oh. Then could you show me to his room? I’m sure he won’t refuse my visit.” Allura asked.
With slight hesitation, the assistant brought Allura up to Lotor’s personal room before leaving her side to allow her to speak with Lotor privately.
Allura knocked on the door lightly, saying, “Lotor! It’s Allura. May I come in?”
There was a slight pause before she heard Lotor’s voice, that was oddly soft, “O-oh. Princess?”
“Yes. It’s me, Princess Allura.” She said.
“Sure, I’m coming.” Lotor said. She could hear slow shuffling coming from inside before the door slowly swung open, revealing the Prince.
She was shocked to see the state he was in. His eyes were half-lidded and hazy, his cheeks and nose were red, his usually flowy and smooth hair was a mess, and he was hunched over, wrapping himself tightly with a blanket.
She did nothing but stare at Lotor before he had made the first move to converse, “I look pretty bad, don’t I?” He said in an extremely clogged voice before chuckling half-heartedly, making way for Allura so that she could come in.
Upon entrance, Allura could see how messy his room looked. He had two more blankets that had been just thrown around on his bed and tissues were lying on the floor around the trash bin.
“Sorry for the mess…” Lotor sniffled, rubbing at his already-irritated nose with his finger before wincing slightly.
“For how long have you been this ill?” Allura asked, concern evident in her voice.
“I’m guessing about two or three days? I’m not so sure.” Lotor spoke, his voice hoarse. “what brings you here to my room?” He said before a coughing fit had taken over, causing him to hunch over as he supported himself against the wall with one arm while his other hand was cupped over his mouth.
Allura waited until Lotor’s coughing had died down before replying, “I wanted to tell you about how I found your research so incredibly profound and detailed, but looks like I have a different task for today.”
Allura then began, ordering a mildly confused Lotor back to bed and covering him with his blankets. She grabbed a washcloth, soaked it in cool water and placed it on the Prince’s heated forehead, which drew out a relaxed sigh from him.
Once she was sure he had fallen asleep comfortably, she found some rubber gloves and began clearing up the fallen balls of tissue on the floor and disposed of the empty boxes of tissue that he had gone through.
One she was done tidying up his room, she left the Galra headquarters to return back to the castle to grab some Altean medicine that would hopefully help with his sickness. Coran had given her a run-through on what Lotor should take for which symptom and what intervals and Allura had scribbled it all down on paper.
She brought the bag of medicine back to Lotor’s room, and returned to see him awake once again and blowing his nose into another sheet of tissue.
“Was I away for long?” Allura asked, walking over to Lotor’s bedside.
“No, no. Not at all. I’m surprised you came back.” Lotor said, sitting up against the bed frame.
“I can’t stay for too long. I have to return to my castle, but I brought over some medicine that might help you. You’re half-Altean, so I’m assuming these work.” She said, placing the bag on Lotor’s bedside table.
“Thank you so much, Princess. You didn’t have to.” Lotor said. He could not deny that he was slightly touched by her actions.
“I-I’m not doing this because we’re good friends or anything. I just wanted to make sure that in the event of any attack, our ally is strong. It’s only because you are the leader now..” Allura said, stuttering a little here and there.
“Of course, Princess. But thank you nonetheless.” Lotor genuinely smiled seeing how flustered Allura was.
Allura opened up the medicine bag, taking out a few small pills from their bottles and checking with the list she created earlier before giving Lotor instructions on consuming the pills. She then handed him a glass of water to down the pills easier. The pills didn’t go down so comfortably for Lotor, due to his sore throat which caused him to wince a little as they went down, but he managed.
“If you have any problems with taking the medication, just read this list.” Allura said, handing Lotor the small piece of paper, “It’s a little small and messy because I wrote it in a hurry, but it should be legible.”
“It’s fine, Princess. Thank you.” Lotor smiled, looking at the piece of paper. It was not that bad.
“Alright! I ought to get going.” Allura said.
“Yes, please. Thank you for looking after me even though you must be busy.” Lotor said, attempting to get out of bed to send her off, but Allura declined.
“You don’t have to send me off. Remember to take the medicine on time and re-soak that washcloth whenever it starts to warm, and contact me once you feel better!” She said, making her way out of the room.
“I will. Do not worry.” Lotor replied.
Allura could not believe she just did that for the ruler of the Galra. Lotor fell back asleep soon after she left with a certain warmth in his chest.
hello anon! thank you for sending this in!! this was a lot of fun to write since it’s the first lotor sickfic i’ve ever written. i hope you liked it~
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amnesiawivess · 4 years ago
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because i’m going apeshit and posting writing that no one will ever see please take this scene from the aforementioned post-s5 archangel roadtrip au (emily is their human chauffeur because none of them know how to drive)
“Hold a moment,” Raphael said, reaching out to grab Castiel’s wrist. “Is this how you’ve been paying for everything, Castiel?”
“Yes,” Castiel said. “The plastic cards are filled with money. Dean explained it to me.” His brows furrowed slightly. “Human currency has become quite complicated over the centuries. I’m still not entirely sure what ‘bitcoin’ is or how it works.”
“And where did you get these plastic cards?” Raphael asked.
“Dean -”
“- gave them to you,” Raphael finished, plucking the rectangle out of Castiel’s fingers and bringing it closer to himself for examination. “Yes. I can see that. This says, ‘Benjamin Dover.’”
Lucifer sighed loudly and lolled his head back to look at the ceiling, clearly bored with the exchange. “Would you just pay already so we can go?” he asked in what was very nearly a whine.
“We can’t allow Castiel to use these,” Raphael said.
“Why not?” Lucifer asked.
“Yes,” Castiel said, glancing between them. “Why not?”
“Because,” Raphael said, “this is credit card fraud.”
Castiel’s spine went ramrod straight. He blinked in confusion, lips curled in a small frown as he looked from the credit card to the snacks on the counter to the read-out on the cash register and then back to Raphael.
“It’s what?” he finally asked.
“Credit card fraud,” Raphael repeated. “When you use these, you’re lying about who you are and your intention to repay the amount you’ve spent at the end of the month.”
There was a pause.
Then: “But that’s theft,” Castiel said flatly.
“Ding ding, we have a winner,” Lucifer said.
“Fraud is punished in the eighth circle of hell, brother,” Raphael went on. “Few acts are considered more vile.”
Castiel looked to Lucifer for panicked confirmation.
“It’s true,” Lucifer said, scrunching up his nose in a commiserating smile. “Specifically the pit of snakes for this one, I think. Treason’s still worse. And fratricide and patricide.” He gestured to himself.
“Oh - oh God,” Castiel said. His face was pale and distressed. “What have I done? All this time…”
“What’s the hold up?” Gabriel chose that moment to ask, elbowing his way between Raphael and Castiel to dump an armload of twinkies and Hostess cupcakes onto the counter. “I thought we had places to be.”
“Castiel has just discovered the evils of credit card fraud,” Lucifer informed him from behind an ill-concealed yawn.
“So?” Gabriel asked. He examined Castiel’s horror-stricken expression. “You’ve been running with the Winchester bros for how long and you didn’t know where their money came from? Geeze, nobody tell this guy what hustling pool means. Hurry up and pay already.”
“Gabriel, this is fraud,” Raphael said, sounding scandalized.
“And you know who’s getting defrauded?” Gabriel asked. “Credit card companies. Do you know what a credit card company is, Castiel?”
“No,” Castiel admitted warily.
“A credit card company,” Gabriel said in a patronizing tone, “is a bunch of super rich guys who loan money to people who don’t have any, and then charge interest until the loan is repaid.”
“But that’s usery,” Castiel said.
“Exactly!” Gabriel said, clapping a hand down on his shoulder. “That’s, circle what?” He glanced at Lucifer.
“Circle seven,” Lucifer helpfully supplied.
“Circle seven!” Gabriel said. “So who cares if you steal from ‘em? The way I figure, the sins basically cancel each other out.”
“That is not how it works,” Raphael said tightly.
“And anyway, we’re on a mission from God, aren’t we?” Gabriel continued, ignoring him. “A real life divine pilgrimage, ordained by the Lord on High Himself. That used to mean something back in the old days. Allowances should be made for the gravity of our circumstances, don’t you think?” He glanced slyly at Raphael and raised his eyebrows. “A little lying’s fine when it’s for the greater good, wouldn’t you agree, brother?”
Raphael scowled.
“...I suppose you may have a point,” he grit out. Mouth set in a grim line, he handed the card back to Castiel. “Go ahead, Castiel. Pay with this false money.”
“If you’re sure,” Castiel said, still looking doubtful.
He turned back to the counter and offered the card to the cashier once again. The cashier stared down at it, then looked back up at the four men before him.
“You guys realize I’ve been here the whole time, right?” he asked. “I heard everything you just said.”
“And?” Lucifer asked, straightening out of his casual lean. He crossed his arms and made steady eye contact with the cashier, using Sam’s full height to his considerable advantage.
The cashier visibly gulped.
][
Michael and Emily were waiting impatiently for them back at the van. Emily looked nervous, while Michael was clearly annoyed.
“This was supposed to be a quick stop only,” he said as they piled inside.
“I had to commit credit card fraud,” Castiel confessed gravely.
Michael’s gaze snapped to him.
“What.”
“Relax, bro,” Gabriel said, pulling a pack of red vines out of one of his overflowing shopping bags. “We took a vote. Four against one - it’s totally fine.” He opened the pack of candy and stuck it between the car seats toward Emily, shaking it in offering. “Want one?”
“No, thank you,” Emily squeaked.
Gabriel shrugged and drew back.
“The Angelic Host is not a democracy!” Michael snapped.
“Says who?” Gabriel asked.
“Hell is, incidentally,” Lucifer said, before Michael could reach the full height of his fury.
“Is it really?” Castiel asked.
“Yes,” Lucifer said. “All the demons get together every so often and decide who they fear the most. Whoever’s wrath they wish most to avoid is then elected King.”
“That is not how democracy works,” Raphael said.
Lucifer looked momentarily baffled, then shrugged.
“Oh well,” he said. “Super PACs and political advertising are still ours.”
There was a mutter of agreement in the van as everyone conceded that this was probably true.
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aadmelioraa · 7 years ago
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46, bellarke, canonverse, for the fic prompt thingie ? pretty please ?
46.“Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”
Thank you for the prompt, Morgane! This went in literally the opposite direction of what I was planning, whoops. Props to this post for inspiring the beginning scene. Canonverse, s5 spec (ignoring that whole bit with the prisoner ship shhh):
Clarke watched her daughter from a slight distance as she finished lacing her boots. It was still early in the day, and the overnight chill lingered. Madi was running Murphy through her typical morning routine: checking the traps they’d placed the night before, cleaning and cooking any kills, and drying whatever could be preserved for the winter.
Clarke smiled as she saw how awed Murphy was by the girl’s seriousness. She hadn’t expected him to take to Madi as much as he did, of all of them. But Madi had taken to Murphy immediately. He treated her as his equal, never talking down to her or ignoring her. Madi in turn came to him with questions or ideas, and the delight Murphy took in those moments was touching. He was the most accessible of all of the men, somehow. As soon as the dust of the reunion had settled, Monty was busy with Raven planning how they were going to extricate the bunker, and Bellamy…Bellamy had a lot on his mind. Murphy was so happy to be back on the ground, and so happy to make himself useful preparing food that wasn’t algae. He immediately began referring to himself as Madi’s second, much to Echo’s chagrin.
Clarke drew herself up and stretched. She had slept in a bit that morning, for once. Last night she had finally come off the adrenaline high she’d been on since they’d first seen each other again. She had been nodding off next to the fire, until Bellamy had picked her up and carried her to the rover, leaving her next to Madi with only a word: “Sleep.”
The two of them had barely spoken more than that since they’d seen each other. There were too many things to say, it was too hard to translate six years of emotions into words. Clarke was determined today, however, to really talk to Bellamy…if she could find him. He seemed to have disappeared.
Glancing around camp, she saw Harper and Echo constructing trip wires to set up beyond the perimeter. Monty was on guard duty, Emori and Raven were drawing up plans for mining equipment. Clarke caught Murphy’s eye as she made her rounds, looking in vain for Bellamy.
“Hey, have you seen the—oh…“ Murphy paused as he took in the determined expression Clarke was wearing. “I think Bellamy headed towards the river a few minutes ago,” he finished casually, then glanced back to what Madi was showing him.
Clarke nodded curtly in thanks, bent to press a kiss to Madi’s head, and made her way in the direction Murphy had indicated.
Murphy was right. Clarke reached the river bank after a few minutes walk, and found him there. Bellamy was sitting atop a larger boulder, shoulders hunched, head slightly bowed. Clarke took a deep breath, then scaled the rock and took a seat beside him. Bellamy barely acknowledged her presence, but she could see his jaw tighten as he continued to stare straight ahead.
They remained that way for quite some time, waiting as the sun climbed slowly higher in the sky. The view was stunning, Clarke realized for the millionth time. That any part of this planet could be lush and green after what it had endured made it all the more incredible. After all this time, after all she’d lost since landing on earth, Clarke still saw its beauty.  
Bellamy—she wasn’t sure what he saw. As soon as he’d realized they weren’t as close to the bunker as he’d hoped, she’d seen the light waver in his eyes. When she told him she’d found the spot last year, but it was buried under a mountain of debris, he’d stayed quiet. He had thought he’d be returning late, that his sister and the others would be waiting for him. He was overjoyed, of course, to find Clarke alive, but that joy was countered by the distance between him and his sister somehow increasing once he’d returned to earth.
“I think Raven is close to finding a way to dig the bunker out,” Clarke said softly, hoping that this was what he had been waiting to hear. “She and Emori seemed pretty optimistic this morning.”
Bellamy nodded.
“If anyone can do it, Raven can,” Clarke supplied, desperately hoping she could break through to him. “There’s still a good chance they’re alright, they must have planned for this contingency.” But even as she spoke, she knew those chances were slim. She still had hope she’d see her mother again, but she wasn’t naive enough to imagine that their reunion was likely. Especially not after she’d gotten Bellamy and the others back. 
Bellamy didn’t say anything, but just grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Clarke squeezed back.
“Thank you,” Bellamy said gruffly.
“I’m here,” Clarke replied simply.
“I know.” Bellamy finally met her eyes, and she saw that his glistened with tears. “That’s more than I could have ever hoped.” 
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namisashimi · 7 years ago
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Yicun: ‘League of Legends deserves to be understood by more.’
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source. yicun special column (mirror) by danneergou (丹尼二狗) and yicun (一村) for pentaq. images by yicun.
translator. it’s been forever, but maya brought my attention to this article by the lpl photographer, yicun, on his experiences at worlds this year. it’s actually a really fascinating and very personal reflection, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i did.
Because for those who don't understand, there's so much more excitement to be experienced.
From our first interview with him during the 2016 Mid-Autumn Festival, PentaQ has known this LPL photographer for more than a year. Since we didn’t meet him on the competitive stage, our understanding and knowledge of Yicun comes more from his photography - in it, you can find all that is League of Legends. That five-colored stage, that youthful, passionately shouting audience, the champions lifting their trophy and their glory, the losers crying in the corner, or even those busy passerbys coming and going.
Before the 2017 World Finals began, PentaQ published a series of 'Pre-Game Special Columns,' one of which was on Yicun. In that article, Yicun used photography to reminisce about how from when he first encountered League of Legends at All-Stars 2013 to now. After the finals, we once again contacted Yicun in hopes that we could hear his new feelings after the entire Worlds weekend.
And so, in the same place we saw the same old Yicun – dressed in athletic gear, full of life. From his arrival in Wuhan on 9/20 to his return to Shanghai on 11/5, he said this hectic yet fulfilling journey of a month and a half let him once again see the heyday of esports.
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post-worlds memory: a heart under the giant championship cup.
the longest, yet the happiest worlds.
If I had to remember the last time I worked for this long, I would look back to Season 5 Worlds, two years ago. If I calculated carefully, it would only be shorter than this year’s by a few days – that was 9/26/2015, when I and some friends went to watch a concert by Rene Liu, then hurried to Paris.
A person in a foreign country will have a lot of boring moments, a lot of spare time – after all, that place is someone else's center stage, and where you live will not be that close to the players and the competition. But when this year’s Worlds came to China, my life had nothing else. Every day was Season 7 Worlds; there was no spare time, no leisurely moments – just focusing on one thing. Time really flew.
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yicun in 2015: carrying his bag and his camera, he followed the world championships across europe.
Looking back on S5, the biggest feeling at the time was regret, but this year - perhaps some people might disagree with me, but I think SSG lives up to this championship. When I experienced this year’s Worlds, I realized the championship was not just determined by strength on paper, but rather by willpower. Sometimes, what we are battling with is not just skill and strategy, not just the player’s in-game performance, but rather their mental strength - in groups, SSG didn’t perform well and lost two matches in a row to RNG, but once they entered the playoffs, they became the team that wanted to win the most.
In competitive sports, ‘the one who is brave wins on a narrow path.’ In that moment, whoever could endure to the end won.
No matter what, looking back on that one and a half months - perhaps it was a shot that was both the longest and yet felt the shortest. It seems like only yesterday that I was preparing my luggage, yet now, the battle in the Bird’s Nest has drawn its curtains.
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from short sleeves to long sleeves, from Wuhan to Guangzhou, to Shanghai, to Beijing - a month and a half’s ‘strange journey.’
from play-ins to groups, from excitement and worry to pity.
Most of the time, my photography plan isn’t officially set, but rather determined by myself. To me, photographing Worlds is a kind of mission, a kind of responsibility. It’s not that someone else is making me take these, but rather that I want to take them. To be honest, the official commission I received didn’t include Play-Ins, but I felt that anywhere that had LPL teams, I should attend.
Because I hoped that no matter what the result, even if WE could not make it out of Play-Ins, I could still faithfully chronicle this moment.
Throughout the entirety of Play-Ins, WE still had some stumbles. Apart from the LCK, this was almost a rehearsal for the performance of the other major regions, so even though the wind was calm, the waves were choppy. Compared to later rounds, I was more anxious during Play-Ins, because this was the first year this stage existed and many didn’t consider it a serious competition. As a result, I was all the more worried that WE might not make it out. However, even as I worried over this, I saw the analyst team working to help the LPL. At the time, the three teams had already come to Wuhan and started practicing, and we could once again see the strength of the LPL working together.
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the play-ins were a part of we’s world championship experience.
Because my hometown is Huangshi, Wuhan was very close to home. I had originally planned to visit home after Play-Ins ended, but for various reasons failed to do so - I’m usually someone who returns home periodically, but this Worlds, after Play-Ins began I didn’t go home at all.
In the groups, EDG was truly worth pitying. They really had the ability to get out of groups. Sometimes, though, you just get unlucky; that’s all that can be said.
You see, in this year’s Worlds, the Western teams really are not weak. From certain standpoints, the Western teams and the SEA teams have a greater tactical ability than LPL teams, or even LCK teams. Asian teams are more stable in their basic mechanics, in their fighting and teamwork than the West, but when something unusual happens, or when there’s a patch change, our ability to react is less than those of other regions. We are too used to following our own tempo in the game. So, even if it’s just my own opinion, when EDG faced C9, perhaps they had yet to adjust themselves to their best form.
If you want to talk about pain, this year’s EDG was not as painful as that of the past two years. After all, that year was far more regretful. Speaking of something that left a serious impression on me: after EDG lost, Clearlove walked off the stage. At that time, he hadn’t yet gotten his mindset out of the game, and as he walked onto the stairs and saw me, he said something like this.
‘What’s left depends on WE and RNG.’
So, I want to say - our players have their own shared honor, and this honor, it all exists in each of their hearts.
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even if i can’t go on, then please take my hopes with you and go forward. this is the honor of a region.
to touch hearts, to leave no regrets.
Quarterfinals and semifinals - one in Guangzhou, one in Shanghai. Comparatively speaking, the quarterfinals most touched our hearts, while the semifinals most caught our attention and left us with no regrets.
Of my entire Worlds photography journey, the quarterfinals were the most unforgettable. Here, whether they sadly left the stage or continued on, each team had their own story to tell.
For example, FNC vs. RNG. I had followed FNC for a long time, while RNG was one of our LPL teams. I liked both teams a lot, so I felt like I had returned to that quarterfinals in 2015, where FNC faced EDG. Another game was MSF vs. SKT. MSF performed incredibly well, and I really hoped they could win. To me, the quarterfinals brought all the highlights from the group stages together. In groups, even if you lost every game the first week, you’d still have a thread of life to cling to in the second week. Quarterfinals were different. If you lost, you lost - win or die.
Luckily, both our LPL teams took the win.
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Ah, the quarterfinals. How many years had it been since we last broke out of quarterfinals? That was really a different feeling. In past years, my heart would always feel empty after quarterfinals, because our team was out. Semifinals, finals - those photos were all taken for someone else to see.
The position I gave myself was not just for Worlds, but also for the LPL. So once the LPL teams had all left, my heart would feel that ‘emptiness.’ Even in the Bird’s Nest, it was the same. I knew that in my life, I wouldn’t have many opportunities to take photos in the Bird’s Nest, but as the as the 11/4 finals drew closer, I was more willing to ‘pull myself out’ and experience the match as a spectator - it had been a very long time since I last watched a game as an ordinary spectator.
So if the end result of the quarterfinals were happiness, then in Shanghai, in what could truly be called the ‘esports headquarters,’ what we welcomed was the pain of the LPL teams being eliminated.
Compared to those of the last two years, this year’s results are, of course, slightly better, and perhaps even reminiscent of S4 - really, so close. Even though the Chinese teams didn’t make it to the Bird’s Nest, this year was still a successful year for the LPL. Even if we didn’t have the best competitive results, through our matches we had broadcasted the culture that belonged to us, that belonged to League of Legends. The people around me who played other games had begun to appreciate League of Legends; my friends from other careers, who had no relationship to the game, were also supporting League of Legends, supporting the Bird’s Nest, supporting the S7 World Championships.
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‘fighting’ might be the best descriptor of the lpl. it implies ‘no matter who wins or loses, we will put in our best effort.’
After the semi-finals ended, many people said it was like the end of youth.
Hearing this, I felt comforted rather than miserable. Whether our youth had come to an end was not for us to say, but if you could wholeheartedly say something like that, it meant League of Legends had completely affected you, that it had become a part of your youth. Those who said ‘my youth has ended,’ congratulations. You have become adults. But if you are willing to wait, League of Legends is really just like you. It too is growing up.
So, I don’t think ‘youth has ended’ is a sad topic. No matter what, it proves ‘once, it existed.’
So, I don’t care ‘whether youth has ended or not,’ ‘whether the game was deleted or not,’ what I care about is if it really gives you happiness.
league of legends deserves to be understood by more.
Honestly, that day in the Bird’s Nest, before the game started I was worrying the seats wouldn’t fill up, and then the photographs would look ugly. But after Jay Chou finished his song and Legends Never Die began, I looked all around me and discovered I had already sunk into a sea of people.
During the finals, I mostly enjoyed the game from a spectator perspective. Because I spent most of my time in the audience, my photographs were largely of the whole venue; because the stage was so distant, I didn’t take many pictures of the players or match details. There was one photograph - during the most critical moment in the third game of SKT vs SSG, I caught the last rays of the setting sun. The second the setting sun passed through the Bird’s Nest, Faker secured first blood. I had a strange premonition: this could be Faker’s last first blood in this year’s World Championships.
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the last ray of the setting sun filters through the top of the Bird’s Nest, alighting on the faces of the audience.
-- but since I’ve been talking so much, many of these questions have been brought up already. So I wonder, is it still important to discuss the final victory more?
I think back to six or seven years ago, maybe 2011 or 2012. I was still in Beijing then and had yet to take up a League of Legends-related photography job. I would often go to the Water Cube to swim, and no matter how many times I saw the Bird’s Nest, how many times I saw the Water Cube, I would never have thought that one day, we would be hosting an esports competition there.
And now, in this very moment, it is truly a golden age, a golden age that belongs to esports.
I began to photograph esports in 2006. In these ten years, I have been through the rise and fall of many games, and I have experienced many of what I felt were golden ages. When I photographed CS, I found like that was a golden age; when I photographed DOTA, I felt like that was also a golden age. But thinking about it now, for those of us in the gaming sphere that was definitely the case, but that’s only a small group of people who love games. It is still a very small circle.
Whereas now, I truly feel the real golden age is not just something that occurs within the community. It needs to influence more people, more people outside its usual sphere of influence, like your parents, like your friends, like those strangers who walk past you - allowing those beside us, who have no understanding of the game, to still feel the beauty of esports. This is something that League of Legends’ World Championships has accomplished.
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these musicians from all around the world - in their creations is the best evidence of the golden age.
It’s just like the Kaiyung golden age in the Tang Dynasty. The development of our economy, the strength of our country - those were only internal things. What really radiated out and influenced the whole world was our history, our culture. This kind of intangible power is what endures.
League of Legends is the same way; it is not just a competitive sport. It has the positive energy of a competitive sport, the ability to excite people, but now and in the near future, we can still have more - music, movies, and even more forms of art. We will always be growing. We have not stalled.
In the past, when I photographed esports and games, I’d always have this desire to photograph ‘culture’ - at that time, I didn’t realize what I photographed was actually ‘culture.’
League of Legends deserves to be understood by more.
And to those who do not understand it, I say - there’s so much more excitement to experience.
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yicun has many good photographs, but few are of him. this one, taken by ren yijun, is of him at the sixth anniversary celebration.
postscript: a moment for those who left.
'Taking photos is like being a historian. Even if they're not pretty, I still need to document them.'
'Even after so many years of photography, I wouldn't rate my skill too highly. I don't think I'm a talented photographer, but I do think I'm one with a sense of responsibility.'
'I don't take photos just to please people, but rather I hope they'll be like a slice of time, a truthful reflection of what happened.'
'I like photographs with stories. Only those have life.'
As a photographer, Yicun is constantly adjusting his own trajectory, constantly questioning what kind of photographer he wants to be, what kind of photos he wants to take. But his target has never changed: to chase the truth of a photo, to use the photo to tell a story.
So, at the end of this article, we've included some of Yicun's photographs. These represent the departure of the LPL teams from the 2017 World Championships, and in their moments, a story from Yicun's first-person perspective.
Of course, this kind of outcome may have left some people sad, but as Yicun wrote in his previous column, for some things 'the longer we wait, the happier we are when they are fulfilled.'
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The night EDG was eliminated, after everyone had left, I went to their practice room and happened to encounter Meiko and iBoy. They were packing their things and preparing to leave. I noticed a commemorative coin left had been left on the desk; each player only got one, so it was especially precious. I asked them, why aren't you taking it? Meiko looked at it and said he was afraid that seeing it later would make him sad, that I should take it as a gift.
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The day RNG was eliminated, Mlxg was the last to leave the stage. Even off-stage, he still sat taciturn in his seat, giving the impression that he had turned to stone.
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11/14, after the final battle in the Bird's Nest, shouts of 'RNG' were suddenly heard on the stream. At that time, Ming sent me a message – he said, when he heard the audience shouting RNG's name, his heart felt 'empty.' In that moment, I could feel how his heart had stirred, how much he wished that the team appearing there was really RNG.
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WE was eliminated in the quarterfinals. After the game, Condi kept smacking the hand-warmers against the chair, hitting it again and again. To him, that may have been a way to vent.
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The night WE was eliminated, Mystic and his little sister were outside the hotel. To Mystic, China will always be a foreign country, yet he has made it his home for the sake of his dreams. When he meets his countrymen, his real family, that strong feeling of closeness will burst out.
In the end – thank you, Yicun, for making time for us.
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targsdaenerys · 8 years ago
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let me tell you all a story. a story of my experience with ouat.
2012.
in fourth grade, i was watching american idol. during commercials, i viewed a promo consisting of a dragon and unicorns. now, at the time, unicorns were my ver y favorite, so of course, i was intrigued. i told my mom that i heard about a show with unicrons, but that i didnt know what it was called. she told me how she had heard of it and wanted to check it out. after watching the season one interviews between red and snow, she believed it was too old for me. i agreed. no unicorns. not what i was expecting.
2013.
a year passes. fifth grade was a blur, and all i know is that we went to disney. i had no idea what would change since then.
2014.
my friends are suddenly starting to talk about this kid’s eyebrows. how they are “so hot” and “sexy”. she showed me a picture off of robbie kay’s instagram and i laughed. ha, peter pan? whatever.
but then, it started to reoccur each monday, they would talk about it. i actually started to look forward to monday lunch periods. i begged them to discuss what they thought of the episode. once again, i was intrigued. 
so of course, i wanted to see what the fuss was about. whats this big deal with peter pan? and who the hell’s rumple after only a few clips, i suddenly loved snow and charming. i needed more. i needed to watch.
so i tried. desperately.  i only had an ipad, and was unaware it was on netlfix, so i tried to watch the first episode of the series by typing in “once upon a time season 1 episode one online free to any platform.i actually was able to find it and went in excitedly the next day to tell my friends. that was when i learned it was on netflix and thati could not wait to get home and watch it. so i did. but the thing is, i was only there for snow and charming scenes.  i literally only skipped to their scenes. thats how i watched the show.
but then, as i was scrolling around youtube one day looking forsscenes for them, i came across “Emma and Hook Kiss scene” my frirst thought? it was between “ew”and “serioulsy?”
i watched it anyway.
and to behonest, it was kind of just a “okay, that happened” kind of thing. it wasnt until my friend told me after the season 3 finle that emma and hook kissed again before i got alitle excited. not much more, though.
then months pass, and suddenly, scrolling around netflix, i come across the hunger games. i held a grudge against the series since it became big with the popular group in my school that year. but i was thirsty for romance. and i heard it had some.
and thats how i fell in love with everlark. one night. the next morning i started following pages on instagram. i look up the ship on googlge. and tumblr posts pop up. i make a tumblr.
i start to follow pages on there with everlark, but then i start to see things on both platforms. emma and hook. and then, i slowly started to fall in love. not much. i just watch a couple of their scenes during season three, come across their second kiss. getting really, really excitated for the fourth season.
at the point, i had written about two everlark fanfictions. i wanted to write one about emma and hook, but i had no i dea how. or what .
but then tumblr inspired me. to the point where i started to freak out over every episode no matter how small the scenes were. in october of seventh grade, i wrote my first captain swan fanifction. i also drew my first drawing that i never thought i was able to do. sure, it was with a sketchbook my aunt got me in second grade and a #2 pecil, but i believe its still beautiful. it wasnt long after i actually found the name, captain swan, rather than using “kemma” or “killimma”.
2015.
and from there, my obsession sky rocketed. i stayed up until four every night after an episode, despite schol the next morning. i wrote little drabbles that arelong since gone ever since my laptop broke. i drew more drawings, i rewatched every scene until thats all that was in my head.the s4 finale was as hard on me as everyone else, and i tried to write a specualtion fic to the s5 premiere. i neverfinshed. although, looking back at the writing now, i can still feel the pain i was in by it.
and then season five started. again, i freaked out as much as everyone else. every episode. i still remeber the week after the first episode, we lost someone int he fandom. we miss you, love.
and then it was late october.saturday the 22nd, my mom came into my room to ask me if id seen my friend alyssa that day. she was a year older than me, afreshman in highschool. i didnt, so i told her. i didnt ever think what might have been.the following day, i was working at the food pantry when my mom caled me.they had found alyssa. but she wasnt okay.maybe in her mind she may have been the best shes ever been, but to us,she wasnt.
no one else knew, and i had to walk home in silence. i didnt cry because at the time we werent as close as the year before and it didnt hit me.but then my mother’s words repeated in my head. “Alyssa died, sweetie.” it was asentence i never forgot.
im not the best at keeping my emtions with myself. i always think people will judge me and call me selfish if i cry, and i didnt want it to be like that. so i kept it in.i kept the tears in for so, so long, even to the point here i didnt even cry at her wake where she looked like an angel although the scarf around her neck was something shed never wear. and what kept my sanity? once upon a time. it was then when i realized it was my anchor. 
2016.
back in 2015 my mother made me audtion for a vocational school. earlier that year i had found its dance program and wanted to go, but along the way my intrest dwindled. she told me to give it a shot anyway because i had a very low chance of making it in due to my grades at the time. 
i made it in. 
the following months were the worst of my life. every day on the way home from dance wed fight about which high school was better, and although she was right about me going to the vocational one, i wanted to stay in my district. lets just say the only thing that kept me from following alyssa into the darkness was dance competitions. oh, and what else. the damn once upon a time episodes.
she forced me to go to that school, by the way. sure, i enjoy it now, but the people there suck and i still do not like how she went at it.
that fall, i take my friend to our first convention.since i started watching oneupon a time, i wanted others to watch it, and my one friend agreed to. until the end of the neverland arc.  and peter pan died. no more ouat for her. but, since robbie was going to be there, lets go. she got a picture with him, i got a picture with bex. yayay.
2017.
last week, we experienced the best sunday of our life. a wedding we never really thought would happen. it was unbelievable. emma got her happy ending(or beginning) aand we got ours. it was so thrilling that even my friend who stopped watching in season three was excited. but as much as it was unbeliable the night, the following morning was too.
that was the most giddiest i had ever felt for school. every more we have a forty five minute bus ride and the but whole time i listened to the musical on repeat. but then, as i looked down to pause the music as we pulled into school, i saw my friends text. Jen’s facebook post.
i was in a daze all day.
it wasnt until lunch, the last period since it was a half day, where i just broke down. people asked me what was wrong and i explained as best i could, but shitty people have shitty outlooks on things and they didnt understand. it was the loneliest ive ever felt.
my mom kind of comforted me, telling me how she felt the same when parent hood ended and that ill find a new show ill like just the same, but one upon a time is special. no show can replace or even add onto what kind of mark it had left on me. it was what started my career in wririting and drawing. in someways it kept me alive. and what did people do when i told them this? they laughed.
it was tuesday night when i ran down stairs, telling my mom about convention tickets for colin and jen photo op i found on sale. we had them in mind for awhile, but never got them. she told me wed look into it. we missed the sale.
so here we were, here i was, aall i was able to think about was how id never meet the people who played the characters that shaped me and my future. until the next morning, my birthday, where i was given the tickets.
and today,to night, was pretty much the end of the storybook. im not going to go into it because i have it on a post from about an hour ago. but thank you everyone, for helping me be me. and thank you for this blessed oppurtuniy, in which i had never and will never take for granted, to be a part of such a magical communtiy. because of this platform i have aspired my career of writing, drawing, and fulfilling my dreams of being a princess by being able to contact disney about the program.if it wasnt for this damned, beautiful fucking shwow, i would probably bedrastically different. this story we created is timeless, a neverending fairytale in both real life and on screen. the story contiues for ever and ever in our hearts and writing and drawing and all of the incredible talents we all have.
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smoothshift · 6 years ago
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Bought a new (to me) car 3 weeks ago and I love it! via /r/cars
Bought a new (to me) car 3 weeks ago and I love it!
After searching for about a year now, many test drives and much contemplation (or as some would call it, obsessing) I finally pulled the trigger and bought a 2016 Mercedes Benz C450 (///AMG?)
https://imgur.com/a/9Yj0lHT
I searched for quite a while to find this car and was glad to find one a couple states over that had a low price and only 33k miles on for that sweet sweet warranty. It felt like quite a risk to pretty much buy a car sight unseen, especially a Mercedes from a small town Chevy dealership in rural Indiana, but my dad and I loaded up and made the 10 hour round trip. The drive back was a blast because the car is great and nothing seemed blatantly wrong, which came as a huge relief.
The car is everything I have wanted, I personally love the styling of the exterior and interior. The red stitching and alcantara is a great interior combo along with the sleek black exterior. Most of all, the car is very fun to drive. I test drove quite a few cars before buying this one (I'll talk about those as well) and to me, this was just the most fun, by far. I look forward to driving to and from work every day.
The car did have 4 recalls to catch up on, an oil change, the passenger doors did not close properly on the right side (a latch issue apparently) and the panoramic roof was very rattly, but this was all fixed under warranty and the maintenance was not as expensive as I was expecting from a German car.
In the week that all of the updates, repairs and maintenance was being done on my car after getting it back home to St. Louis, I had a GLC300 loaner, I was quite excited about this because I have never had an SUV before. At first I enjoyed the visibility and smooth ride, but by the end of the week in it I was itching to get back in my car. Turns out luxury SUV's are BORING, definitely not the choice for me right now.
Here is a list of top contenders, as well as other cars I test drove that I felt just did not measure up. First, there were 3 other cars that were finalists in my consideration:
Alfa Romeo Giulia
This car was great. Its gorgeous and stand out styling really drew me in initially, especially because they are an incredibly rare sight here in St. Louis. Upon test driving the car, the handling was amazing and the car was fun to drive. This is the sedan that I drove that had the best steering. On the down side, the car did lack some power, the brakes took a bit of getting used to and the interior was decent, but visibility was not excellent (the b pillar was in the way for me where I found a comfortable seating position). Overall though, this is really nit-picking and I was actually all in on leasing one until I had to deal with the people at the local Maserati/Alfa dealership. They were totally disorganized and felt like skeezy car salesmen, definitely not a luxury car buying experience and by far the worst interaction I had at any dealership. After sitting for about an hour in a salesman's office with no negotiating, the sales manager finally came in. The specific car I wanted had a 52k msrp with a 7k dealership mark down to 45k because, like I said, no one in stl buys Alfas. Turns out the other reason they do not buy them is because when we tried to negotiate from there, the manager immediately got offended saying we were just making demands on the price and not negotiating (asked for 39k... maybe a tad low but not a completely obscene first number). After being treated horribly, I decided I did not want to give them my business or have to deal with them ever again and walked out. Big bummer, the car was great.
Dodge Challenger (Scat Pack)
I actually was about to sign a lease on this vehicle, but 2 days before I did, I found my C450 online and made up my mind then. The car was LOUD, and fun to drive. The interior was much nicer than I expected from a dodge and I personally love the styling of the front with the headlights. Not a huge fan of the Kylo Ren taillights though. The car rode rough and the handling was a bit terrifying with so much horsepower under the hood, but the NA V8 was intoxicating. In retrospect, I'm glad to not have gotten this though due to the prospect of such a high horsepower car with RWD in bad weather as my DD, plus the terrible mpgs.
Porsche Boxster (2014)
So I actually turo'd this car (a 2016) for a day back in March while I was living in San Diego. It was red with black interior and had the beautiful hum of a 6 cylinder, not that 4 cylinder abomination they have now (I half kid). The mid engine RWD was unique and nice. I was actually a bit underwhelmed though. The seats were not that comfortable and the ride was a bit rough for a DD. The steering feel did not feel any better than the Giulia's or my C450's, although I did not push this car hard. It also felt a bit pokey on the throttle. I make the car sound bad, but there is just something about a Porsche that made it impossible to get the car out of my mind. I just wanted to get behind the wheel again so badly after driving it. If I lived in SD instead of STL I would probably have gone with this car. Back in reality land though, a sports car convertible with no back seat and no obvious advantages over the Giulia or C450 made this car take a back seat (pun intended).
Quick synopsis of other cars I drove:
-Jaguar F-type- So I drove the 4-cylinder one that was new for 2018. Gorgeous car and nice interior, but it just feels wayyyy too heavy, has bad visibility and its seriously slow. Do not buy this car with the 4-cylinder, it just does not match the car and feels terrible in combination with it.
-BMW M240i- It was fast. It was gorgeous in blue. It also was disappointingly boring. I'm sure it's a great handling car, but it just was not exciting and did not do it for me. The interior was terrible too, some call it spartan, I call it lazy. Plus I am not huge into the 24 year old with a BMW image.
-Audi S5 (2015)- I actually prefer the older ones without the glued on tablet in the middle. This car was faster than I expected and a real looker, nice interior. The steering was loose and I just did not like it as much as the C450.
-Mazda CX-5- Drove just as well as the GLC300. The ones with the interior upgrades were actually quite nice inside and I love the styling. In my opinion, this is the best buy in the SUV market, but that is not the market I was in. I would rate it like 1 point on a 10 point scale below the GLC300 and for 15k less, it's a no-brainer.
-Miata- FUUUNNNN, but I don't wanna die.
-Volkswagen GTI- Actually really fun and peppy. Nice interior, way above its class. Could use more power, the Golf R is probably great, but I never drove it. IMO really ugly cars though.
-Jetta (2019 remodeled ones)- My dad actually bought this a week before I bought my car. These things are seriously nice. He bought an R-Line and it looks really good. The interiors are really nice and the car is surprisingly quick until it runs out of power at about 45 mph. If you just want a good mpg DD that can get to the next stoplight fast with a good interior, I would highly recommend this.
-Lexus IS300 F-Sport (2016)- These are some good looking cars. The interiors are seriously nice, very underrated and offers a very smooth ride. Horrible mpgs though and just a bit boring for my taste.
-Mercedes Benz C300- This car may look like a C450, but if you just drove both without looking at them and all the other stuff, it would blow your mind that it is sorta the same car. Totally different rides.
I really wish I had gotten to test drive a Corvette because that seems like it would have been doable, but it was not in the cards. Also, the Genesis G70, too bad it did not come to America sooner.
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dc408dxtr · 8 years ago
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DC ExtraTime on Tumblr: Winning in the Daytime
FROM DCBLOG: http://dc408dxtr.blogspot.com/2017/02/dc-socialpulse-are-you-one-s5-sex-lies.html
If you're one of those people who might be older than the average MTV viewer, are a college student or one of those who are a stay-at-home parent, then you spend your afternoons having to fend for yourself at home, while also perhaps enjoying that refreshing feeling of having to sleep in. One of those daytime activities includes watching daytime television: from addictive soap operas and all kinds of talk shows, to daily sessions with the many courtroom shows and newsmagazines, there's something for everyone for every taste. And for someone like me, there's also those live daytime sports events like PGA golf, European soccer and, of course, March Madness.
  That springtime tradition is only part of the leadership position CBS has proudly boasted in network daytime programming, as this past week the Tiffany Network marked 30 years now as the #1-rated choice for those needing a TV companion while the kids are at school and everyone else is at work. The Eye's daytime lineup includes The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful and The Talk with MTV alum Sharon Osbourne and Big Brother hostess Julie Chen - who's also wife of CBS head honcho Leslie Moonves. Also on the slate are the two remaining game shows left on network daytime, something that was a staple of daytime TV for years before settling into the 7-8PM timeslot of syndicated prime access, and then with ABC and NBC currently airing shows in prime time. That provides some context for this rather fun installment of ExtraTime. 
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Instagram/@MTVTrey 
With seeing Marie being one-and-done this time, it brought back memories of summer 2012 and Real World St. Thomas. We've discussed here how important her, Latoya and their season are to my development as a fan of first Real World and The Challenge and of how I'm able to interact with cast mates here. And the subject of the first of these two instances has been featured a few times here in having four lucky numbers and then last year of playing a baseball video game during the mundane part of the sports year with no action in the four major sports taking place.
  Trey Weatherholtz has been a favorite of mine since my first Twitter day, which also was the premiere night of his Real World season...he's also wished me happy birthday each year since then, just a few days before his own birthday each mid-November. We all know what happened the last time he was on The Challenge when a mere technicality saw him and champion Zach lose an elimination after Thor threw a helmet to the onlookers in apparent celebration, and there was that previous summer when he found himself in love with the other girl of that season, Nebraskan Laura. After what happened on Rivals II, Trey looked to an unlikely source to redeem himself.
  In that late summer of 2013 - just after he had competed in Thailand, Trey traveled to Los Angeles to join the panel of AfterBuzz TV to chat up the late part of his last Challenge appearance... and he also did something else, too. Like many people who have had an appointment in the late morning for 45 years now (including me who always relished those summers off from school watching it at home), Trey applied to be on that classic show The Price is Right, and was chosen to go to CBS Television City where the show takes place inside The Bob Barker Studio to try his luck with many others.
  But, he also came to the show with one extra stipulation: his common name Trey actually means he is the 3rd person in his family to use his actual first name, which is Walter. And instead of using that same name that those like me had grown to know from the three shows I've watched him, instead he would go with his actual given first name. Thus, Walter Weatherholtz III actually came to The Price is Right, and by sheer luck - he was told to "Come on Down!"
  When he came to contestants' row in the presence of that icon Drew Carey, Trey did what many people like to do: when he sensed that the three other contestants had overbid the prize that was on offer, a surfboard, he made a bid for $1. He won that surfboard, got to go on stage and try his luck at one of the pricing games and then a shot at spinning the big wheel, and thus a chance at going to the Showcase Showdown. He got himself just that surfboard he would then give away later to a fan.
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And a few years later, we saw another MTV alum on the airwaves of its one-time Viacom sibling. In 2009, CBS brought back to television a game show that began in 1963: Let's Make A Deal. First hosted by Monty Hall and now hosted in its current incarnation by Drew's colleague on Whose Line Is It Anyway? - Wayne Barry, the show sees members in the studio audience make deals with the host on whether to keep something of value or risk exchanging it for a chance to win a prize of greater value or get "zonked" by getting a cheap item in return. That Truth Booth trade-in offer we're seeing on this AYTO season has similarities to what they have on that show. And of course, the show's most distinguished feature is of audience members treating this like Halloween in dressing up in crazy and outrageous costumes to up their chances of being picked.
  It's that very premise that brought an Are You The One? original to LMAD a year ago and brought one of his most unique talents to that stage with Brady & friends. Three years ago this winter, viewers watched Ryan Malaty become part of that renowned season 1 of the love experiment as that quirky, playful and nice-looking guy from Denver with a charisma and nice demeanor that attracted the ladies he sees. In that house in Kauai, he was part of a love triangle that emerged with Southern belle Kayla and Stephen Curry lookalike Wes, which saw the Truth Booth solve their puzzle where he was sent in first in their seventh try and emerged a no-match, and then with Wes the next week which brought them to the Honeymoon Suites. And in that ensuing Matchup Ceremony for week 8 (and Episode 9), Ryan decided to put on not a suit or a dress shirt, but an outfit he wore to Comic Con just months before filming that season.
  If you have kids who love Disney films (and it will also be the focus of an ExtraTime featuring a member of this season's AYTO cast later in the season), then you've heard about the movie Aladdin which was 1992's best-selling film during the animation studio's golden era and a movie I remember watching in theaters when I was young. The title character went around his Arab neighborhood with a genie bottle in his hand, voiced by the late Robin Williams, and the film documented his adventures with a magic carpet, his romance with Princess Jasmine and battles with Jafar. From a musical standpoint, Aladdin is best known for the song "A Whole New World," which earned the movie Best Original Song at the 1993 Academy Awards.
  So when Ryan went onto Let's Make A Deal last year, it was absolutely no surprise that Ryan donned that Aladdin outfit once again and, as you can see in the photo above, he was dancing on that set with Wayne Brady and other contestants, or "traders" as they're referred to, when he was chosen to go for those prizes on the show. And since that first season, Ryan has now become a host for AfterBuzz TV on their after shows for Teen Wolf, has hung out with Kermit the Frog, a Minion and his fellow MTV family, even modeling during L.A. Fashion Week.
- I AM DC
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jeremyau · 8 years ago
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The $99 Billion Idea
By Brad Stone | January 26, 2017
From Bloomberg Businessweek
In January 2009 the three founders of a little-known website called Airbedandbreakfast.com decided at the last minute to attend the inauguration of Barack Obama. Brian Chesky, Joe Gebbia, and Nathan Blecharczyk were all in their mid-20s and had no tickets to the festivities, or winter clothes, or even a firm grasp of the week’s schedule. But they saw an opportunity. Their online home-sharing company had limped along for more than a year with little to show for it. Now the eyes of the world would be on the nation’s capital, and they wanted to take advantage.
They found a cheap crash pad in D.C., an apartment in a drafty three-floor house near Howard University that, like so many other homes during that desperate time, was in foreclosure. The rooms were unfurnished save for a pullout sofa, which the three founders gave to their friend and adviser, Michael Seibel, who ran the streaming-video site Justin.tv. At night they crowded onto the hardwood floor on inflatable beds.
Their host was a tenant waiting for eviction. He lived in the basement apartment and had used the AirBed & Breakfast website to rent out the empty first floor and, to three other guests, his own bedroom, living room, and walk-in closet. Sensing a promotional opportunity, Chesky e-mailed the staff of Good Morning America about the closet, and a producer included it in a roundup of unusual accommodations for the inauguration.
By day the founders and Seibel passed out AirBed & Breakfast fliers at the Dupont Circle Metro station. “Rent your room! Rent your room!” they cried to the bundled-up commuters, who mostly ignored them. At night they met other AirBed & Breakfast hosts in the city, talked their way into inaugural parties, and answered multiple e-mails from a disgruntled customer—the guest in the basement bedroom. The woman had driven her Volkswagen bus from Arizona to D.C. with her support dog, a Chihuahua, and she wasn’t keen on the crowded accommodations. In a barrage of complaints, she said she was certain she smelled marijuana, that the juice she’d left in the fridge had been taken, and that the house didn’t comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act.
At one point she threatened to call the police. Chesky, Gebbia, and Blecharczyk sat just a few feet above her head, typing out apologetic replies.
On the day of the inauguration, they awoke at 3 a.m. to claim a good viewing spot on the National Mall. They walked 2 miles to get there, buying hats and face masks at a kiosk along the way. By 4 a.m. they’d found a space on the green in the area open to the general public, a few football fields away from the presidential podium.
“We just kind of sat back to back in the middle of the Mall and tried to stay warm,” says Chesky, the chief executive officer of the startup, now named Airbnb. “It was the coldest morning of my life. Everyone cheered when the sun came up.”
Airbnb founders (from left) Chesky, Gebbia, and Blecharczyk.
Garrett Camp and Travis Kalanick also attended the festivities that week. A friend on the inaugural committee, the investor Chris Sacca, had persuaded them to come. Kalanick, a Los Angeles native who’d recently sold his startup to web infrastructure company Akamai, made a $25,000 donation to the inaugural committee and split the expense with Camp. They were both in their early 30s and, despite the global economic meltdown, full of optimism about the transformative effects of technology. They were largely ambivalent about politics but didn’t want to miss a historic moment or, just as urgently, a seminal party.
They also arrived in D.C. fully unprepared. The night before the inauguration, they found themselves stuck in a line outside the Newseum, trying to get into a party hosted by the Huffington Post. It was windy and cold, and they had only one wool hat between them, which they took turns wearing, 10 minutes each, while frantically texting one of the party’s hosts, asking to be allowed inside.
On the big day, Camp and Kalanick woke up late. Kalanick had rented a swank home near Logan Circle on the vacation-rentals website VRBO, but it was a few miles away from the Mall, and no taxis were available. They ended up sprinting down the wide D.C. avenues. When they finally got to their seats, perched with Sacca and his high-powered Silicon Valley friends above the inaugural platform, the sweat on their bodies cooled, giving way to a chill. “By the end of the day, I was definitely sort of pre-hypothermic,” Kalanick says. “Everyone was like, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ ”
At the time, Camp had been trying to get Kalanick excited about a business idea he was developing that would allow anyone with a smartphone to call a black town car with a click of a button. Kalanick was interested but not particularly enthusiastic, conceding that it was a good idea, just not a big one. He had his own startup ideas, including one that he called “Pad Pass,” a network of furnished high-end apartments.
Yet here in Washington was clear evidence that Camp’s car service was needed. A car that could be summoned, tracked, and rated via a smartphone would be a godsend for getting around big cities, especially during huge events such as inaugurations.
“See?” Camp said to Kalanick, as the crowd chanted “O-bam-a! O-bam-a!” and the world waited for the new First Family to take the stage. “We really need this.”
Camp even had a name for his high-tech car service: Uber.
That was eight years ago. Much has changed since—the president, for starters. But few companies have altered city life as deeply and as swiftly as the two started by the entrepreneurs shivering anonymously in the crowd that day. Airbnb and Uber, their headquarters only a mile apart in San Francisco, are among the fastest-growing startups in history by sales, market value, and number of employees. Together they embody the third phase of internet history, the post-Google, post-Facebook era of innovation.
They’ve attained these heights, and a combined worth of $99 billion, despite owning little in the way of physical assets. Airbnb can be considered one of the biggest hotel companies in the world—currently valued at $30 billion, about the same as Marriott International—yet it possesses no actual hotel rooms. Its founders are billionaires three times over, at least on paper. Uber is among the world’s largest car services, yet it doesn’t employ professional drivers or own any vehicles (save for a small, experimental fleet of self-driving cars). Uber is valued at $69 billion, more than any other privately held tech startup in the world. Kalanick and Camp have an estimated net worth of about $6 billion each.
Both startups offered age-old ideas (share a vehicle, rent your home) with new twists and fostered a remarkable degree of openness among strangers. And both companies have been generating nearly nonstop controversy in every urban market they enter. They’ve come to represent, at least to some, the hubris of the techno-elite. Critics blame them for destroying the basic rules of employment, exacerbating traffic, ruining neighborhoods, worsening housing shortages, and generally bringing unrestrained capitalism into liberal cities. Airbnb and Uber didn’t anticipate this degree of pushback, which might have undone less zealous, more circumspect entrepreneurs.
So how did it all happen? How did each company maneuver past entrenched, politically savvy incumbents to succeed where others had failed? How much of their success was luck?
There are two little-known chapters in the histories of Uber and Airbnb, two pivotal moments when each discovered the secret weapon that would drive its rise. Both stories are at odds with the creation tales the founders like to tell, and both are crucial to understanding how these two companies defied odds, mayors, and city councils, and became widely admired, bitterly resented, and valued into the stratosphere.
The Growth Hacker
By the spring of 2009, the newly renamed Airbnb was small and struggling. After graduating from Y Combinator, a startup school in Silicon Valley, Chesky, Gebbia, and Blecharczyk worked out of their apartment on Rausch Street in San Francisco’s South of Market district. They hadn’t solved the chicken-and-egg problem that confronts any new online marketplace: To get listings, you need customers, and to get customers, you need listings. The few apartments on the site drew few guests looking for travel accommodations, and the lack of guests didn’t inspire potential hosts to make their homes available to total strangers over the internet.
“Every day I was working on it and thinking, ‘Why isn’t it happening faster?’ ” Chesky says. “When you’re starting a company, it never goes at the pace you want.  … You start, you build it, and you think everyone’s going to care. But no one cares, not even your friends.”
He and his co-founders like to recount their early misadventures trying to ignite the business. They sold boxes of presidential-themed cereal, Obama O’s and Cap’n McCain’s. While Blecharczyk stayed behind to code, Chesky and Gebbia kept trying to build up early listings by visiting New York, Las Vegas, and Miami, among other cities, and organizing meetups with any potential hosts they could find. They also cold-called property-management companies, asking them to add multiple listings to the site, then abandoned that tactic when Chesky concluded these types of listings didn’t represent “the spirit of what Airbnb was”—hosts inviting travelers into their homes and facilitating authentic travel experiences.
Screenshot taken before the company name was shortened to Airbnb.
An early Airbnb PR stunt: Presidential-themed cereal. (Cap’n McCain’s not pictured).
The official company history focuses on Chesky and Gebbia’s prodigious ability to light up an online community through clever design and their enticing ideology of a new, open, noncorporate world order. But what really got it all going was the more technical, clever, and some might say devious work of Blecharczyk.
Just 24 at the time, Blecharczyk had coded the entire site himself, using what was then a new open source programming language called Ruby on Rails. He devised a flexible, global payment system that allowed Airbnb to collect fees from guests and then remit them to hosts, minus commission, using a variety of online services such as PayPal. He’d also presciently hosted the site on Amazon Web Services, a new division of the e-commerce company that allowed businesses to rent servers via the internet only as needed, a huge cost savings that would become standard practice for an entire wave of new businesses.
“Joe and I would have crazy dreams and visions,” says Chesky of his co-founder. “Nate would find a way to make the wildly impractical possible.”
But that wasn’t the full extent of Blecharczyk’s talents. He was born in Boston, the son of a homemaker mom and an electrical-engineer dad who worked for a local industrial equipment manufacturer. His father, Paul, would have his sons do mechanical tasks around the house, and he brought home discarded equipment, such as an old Xerox copier, and encouraged them to take it apart in the backyard. “There is no job too big or too small for PB and sons,” he would say to his boys.
Soon, young Nate was consumed with computers. According to family lore, he was home sick from middle school one day at age 12, when he took a book about computer languages off his dad’s shelf and devoured it. For Christmas, he asked for a book about Microsoft’s programming language QBasic, and he plowed through that one in three weeks.
Rooms available, New York, January 2016
115k
40k
Hotels
Airbnb
Data: Str, inside airbnb.com
Blecharczyk ran cross-country at his Boston public high school and excelled in his classes, but at home he had a far less conventional life. After learning to code, he started writing increasingly sophisticated programs and giving them away on the internet, asking for voluntary donations. One early piece of shareware allowed computer users to place digital sticky notes on their screens. Later, another program of his interfaced with America Online, which was then walled off from the broader web, and gave programmers a way to send internet messages into the e-mail and IM accounts of AOL members.
Soon after he posted that program, Blecharczyk got a phone call. The caller had seen the e-mail tool and offered him $1,000 to write something similar. When he told his dad about the offer, Paul Blecharczyk responded: “Son, no one from the internet is going to pay you $1,000.”
Blecharczyk wrote the program anyway and got his money. He later found out his customer had himself been hired to create it and was merely subcontracting out the work (and was surely paid more than a grand). The customer then introduced Blecharczyk to his client and to other potential clients, and suddenly Blecharczyk was earning considerable money coding a variety of tools for a nascent industry. Its practitioners innocuously dubbed it “e-mail marketing.” The world came to know it as something else: spam.
Continuing with this side work through college, Blecharczyk eventually developed a suite of e-mail marketing products to help spammers organize and orchestrate their campaigns and maneuver around internet service providers that were desperately attempting to shut off the deluge. The orders poured in, as did the cash.
The spam operation earned Blecharczyk close to $1 million, he says, and paid his college tuition and more
His company went by several names at various times, including Data Miners and, eventually, Global Leads, which he incorporated in the State of Massachusetts after his freshman year at Harvard in 2002. At first he couldn’t accept credit cards, Blecharczyk recalls, so he had customers enter their bank account details on his site, and then he printed the bank numbers on blank OfficeMax checks, wrote down the amounts he was due—typically around a thousand dollars—and went to the bank to deposit them. “Amazingly, this is legal,” he says, recounting his early success with delight. “I was literally printing money!”
At the end of every week and after every three months, he gave his parents a financial report. Naturally, Paul and Sheila Blecharczyk were mystified. “This was a whole new world,” Blecharczyk says. “I don’t think anyone really knew what to expect or what this was.”
The spam operation earned Blecharczyk close to $1 million, he says, and paid his college tuition and more. It also earned him a spot on an online blacklist called Register of Known Spam Operations, maintained by a London-based anti-spam organization called the Spamhaus Project. On its page devoted to Data Miners, Spamhaus alleged: “Data Miners (aka: Nathan Underwood Blecharczyk) is one of the main sources of broken/open e-mail relays (used by spammers), and the tools to help locate and exploit them,” meaning Blecharczyk was finding SMTP servers that had an open connection between sender and receiver, which allowed him to slip in spam e-mails. Blecharczyk says he shut his business down in 2002 to focus on his college studies, because the work was taking up all his time.
He discusses all this years later from Airbnb’s offices and is unapologetic about how he earned his first considerable fortune. “All this was new,” he says. “There were frankly no rules around it.” That is technically true—the Federal CAN-SPAM Act that made sending or facilitating spam a federal crime wasn’t passed until 2003. But for years before that, spam was a well-known scourge that frustrated e-mail users and overwhelmed internet companies.
“It’s part of being a pioneer,” Blecharczyk says. “It’s not just exciting to build things but to explore new fields and to recognize what comes with that is a lot of uncertainty. That’s very true today, and it has been true of Airbnb. It’s a whole new concept.”
When he graduated from college, Blecharczyk wasn’t just a skilled programmer but also the embodiment of a new Silicon Valley hero: the growth hacker. Growth hackers use their engineering chops to find clever, often controversial ways to improve the popularity of their products and services. Blecharczyk’s talents are recognizable behind two of Airbnb’s early, crafty schemes to usurp Craigslist, which had a far larger audience at the time.
In late 2009, a few months after Airbnb graduated from Y Combinator, Craigslist users in some cities began to notice something annoying. Whenever anyone posted a property for rent on Craigslist, even if that person had specified that he didn’t want to receive unsolicited messages, he would get an e-mail touting Airbnb. If the apartment was listed in, say, Santa Barbara, the e-mail would read: “Hey, I am e-mailing because you have one of the nicest listings on Craigslist in Santa Barbara and I want to recommend you feature it on one of the largest Santa Barbara housing sites on the Web, Airbnb. The site already has 3,000,000 page-views a month.”
All these e-mails were identical except for the city, and they typically emanated from a Gmail account bearing a female name.
Blecharczyk at home, 1999.
Photograph: Courtesy Airbnb
Dave Gooden, another online real estate entrepreneur, recognized the soaring popularity of Airbnb in 2010 and became curious about it. Suspecting what was going on, he posted a few dummy listings on Craigslist, and then wrote a blog post in May 2011 about his findings. He concluded that Airbnb had registered Gmail accounts en masse and set up a system to spam everyone who posted on Craigslist. In his opinion, Airbnb’s activity was a nefarious “black-hat” operation. “Craigslist is one of the few sites at massive scale that are still easily gamed,” he wrote. “When you scale a black hat operation like this you could easily reach tens of thousands of highly targeted people per day.”
After Gooden’s post, a few technology blogs picked up the story and Airbnb was put on the defensive. Its explanation, which is somewhat difficult to believe, was that it had hired contractors who may not have been up to the company’s ethical standards. “One of the lessons you learned is you have to be very close, provide constant management and guidance to the people you’re working with,” Chesky said when I asked him about it onstage at an industry event after Gooden’s blog post.
A few years later, Blecharczyk offered a little more detail. They’d hired foreign contractors on Elance, an online staffing service, and were paying them per lead, or for every new host that would list on Airbnb. “Many companies bootstrap themselves off of finding a user segment on Craigslist and then building a better experience,” he says. The whole effort, he insists, was ineffective because Craigslist users were typically looking for long-term tenants, or roommates, rather than vacationers. “It did not end up driving any meaningful business,” he says.
But another strategy unquestionably did. A few months after the bulk e-mailing campaign to Craigslist users, Airbnb tried a new tactic. Instead of luring Craigslist users to Airbnb, the company did the opposite: It allowed Airbnb users to take a streamlined version of their elegant listing and cross-post it with a single click on Craigslist. “Reposting your listing from Airbnb to Craigslist increases your earnings by $500 a month on average,” the site informed prospective hosts. “By reposting your listing to Craigslist, you’ll get the benefit of more demand, while still being able to use Airbnb to manage and moderate your inquiries.”
The tool, which Chesky says was originally the idea of adviser Seibel, was a boon for the company. It established Airbnb as a way to create more visually appealing Craigslist ads and, in effect, dropped ubiquitous Airbnb ads into the network of its largest competitor. “It was a kind of a novel approach,” Blecharczyk says. “No other site had that slick an integration. It was quite successful for us.”
“I have never dealt with a company as disingenuous as Airbnb has been over and over and over again”
– New York State Senator Liz Krueger
Other growth hackers noticed this and applauded it as a sophisticated technical achievement. Craigslist has different versions of its site in hundreds of cities, each with different web domains and menu formats. Blecharczyk had designed a way for Airbnb to post seamlessly onto the right site. “It’s integrated simply and deeply into the product, and is one of the most impressive ad-hoc integrations I’ve seen in years,” wrote Andrew Chen, a fellow growth hacker who now works at Uber, in an admiring blog post. “Certainly a traditional marketer would not have come up with this, or known it was even possible. Instead it [would] take a marketing-minded engineer to dissect the product and build an integration this smooth.”
Airbnb removed the tool in 2012 after Craigslist objected to these kinds of tactics, but by then it was too late. Like sucking through a straw, Airbnb was pulling listings and users over from Craigslist. It helped, of course, that its site was better designed and far easier to use and that it was constantly working to provide easier forms of payment, better mobile apps, and a safer experience where hosts and guests used their real identities and reviewed one another.
Most listings, Airbnb
1 Paris
2 London
3 New York City
4 Rio de Janeiro
5 Los Angeles
Data: airdna.co
Blecharczyk also ran productive online ad campaigns during these early years. If people searched Google for an apartment in Boston, for example, Airbnb ads would pop up at the top of the page. Blecharczyk and his marketing team became experts at finding the cheapest and most frequently searched keywords and at generating crisp ads that sometimes directly attacked rival home-listing sites. “Better than Couchsurfing.com!” some of Airbnb’s early search ads blared. Dan Hoffer, a Couchsurfing co-founder, e-mailed Chesky to complain about this technique. He says Chesky apologized, stopped the campaign, and sent him two boxes of Obama O’s as a peace offering.
Blecharczyk pioneered a clever use of Facebook’s early rudimentary ad system, which for the first time allowed companies to tailor and target ads to the interests and hobbies that members specified in their profiles. If a user said he liked yoga, for example, he would see an ad from Airbnb on Facebook that announced “Rent Your Room to a Yogi!” If a person liked wine, he’d see “Rent Your Room to a Wine Lover!”
Facebook ads were cheap, and people tended to respond to these eerily targeted messages. By February 2011, Airbnb had passed 1 million nights booked. Less than a year later, in January 2012, it passed 4 million. The chicken-and-egg problem was solved.
Travis’s Law
It started with a tweet. On Jan. 11, 2012, almost three years after Camp and Kalanick discussed the idea for a luxury car-hailing service while freezing at the Obama inauguration, a short, cryptic message from a rider-advocacy group called D.C. Taxi Watch quoted the top taxi official in the U.S. capital.
“Chairman Linton: @uber DC is operating illegally,” it read.
At the time, Uber was operating in only six U.S. cities and was moving cautiously. Although Kalanick and his colleagues had come to distrust taxi ordinances as schemes designed to protect incumbents and their shoddy levels of service from new competition, they examined local laws closely and were flexible when required. Uber was by and large a law-abider, not a law-bender. That was about to change.
Kalanick: Granada Hills High School, Los Angeles, class of 1994.
The Uber app’s “de Blasio mode” was a dig at the New York City mayor.
The tweet was sent from inside the drab, postwar D.C. Taxicab Commission headquarters in Anacostia. The city’s taxi drivers had packed a normally sleepy hearing to make their voices heard. Uber’s town-car drivers, they argued, had been illegally operating for the past two months.
Ron Linton, appointed only six months before by Mayor Vincent Gray to head the taxicab commission, was inclined to agree. Linton, in his early 80s, was an avuncular policy planner and longtime reserve officer in the city police department who wore a stern disposition and an obvious toupee. He fashioned himself an agent of change and was determined to modernize the capital’s pitifully antiquated taxis, which ignored minority neighborhoods and didn’t accept credit cards. Back then they didn’t even have dome lights or a uniform color to distinguish them from other cars.
But Linton was hellbent on reforming the industry from the inside and preserving the jobs of the region’s 8,500 licensed drivers. Uber is “operating illegally, and we plan to take steps against them,” Linton assured the boisterous drivers at the meeting, which was duly tweeted by D.C. Taxi Watch.
That morning, Uber’s then D.C. general manager, Rachel Holt, was just settling into her new office. As in the other cities Uber had entered, the maze of local taxi regulations didn’t seem to explicitly prohibit the company’s service. In D.C., yellow cabs had to use taxi meters to calculate fares, while limos could charge only a prearranged fare. But there was a third classification in the bylaws, under section 1299.1 in the District of Columbia Municipal Regulations, which seemingly contradicted the other two rules by stipulating that sedans carrying six passengers or fewer could charge on the basis of time and mileage. Uber’s approach clearly qualified.
After she saw the tweet, Holt e-mailed Linton’s office asking for a clarification. She was told she would hear back within 48 hours. That was a Wednesday, and Linton was true to his word. On Friday, his office tipped local press to assemble outside the Mayflower Hotel on Connecticut Avenue. The chairman then ordered an Uber town car from the Cleveland Park neighborhood and took it to the hotel, where he was met at the circular driveway by five hack inspectors from the D.C. Taxicab Commission.
As three reporters watched, the officers slapped the stunned driver with $1,650 in fines for driving an unlicensed vehicle in the District and not having proof of insurance on hand, among other infractions. Then they impounded his car for the Martin Luther King Jr. Day long weekend. Standing in front of the press, Linton slammed Uber for unleashing regulatory havoc in the city. “What they’re trying to do is be both a taxi and a limousine,” he said. “Under the way the law is written, it just can’t be done.”
Holt, who’d arrived three minutes late to the scene after being alerted by the driver that trouble was afoot, was perplexed. According to the actual citations, Linton was going after the driver himself, a Virginia resident, not Uber, and he was doing it based on one of the city’s more arcane and senseless rules—that limo drivers must present a fare to the passenger in advance, rather than using a meter that measures time and distance. The fines seemed mostly aimed at intimidating drivers and keeping them from signing up with Uber. Nothing Linton did affected whether Uber could continue to operate in the city, much less slow its rapidly growing business there.
Over the next few months, Uber’s business in D.C. grew briskly. By then the issue of Uber’s regulatory status had fallen into the lap of a D.C. city councilwoman, Mary Cheh, the chairperson of the Committee on Transportation and the Environment.
She’s a graduate of Harvard Law and a Democrat who’d struggled for years to drag anachronistic D.C. cabs into the modern age. “Even while Uber was coming around, I was in the process of trying to reform the taxicab industry, which was in the 20th, maybe the 19th, century,” she says. She was also a pragmatist who sought peaceful compromise among many of the powerful local taxi interests in what was turning into a radioactive topic. That spring she sent a letter to Linton and the D.C. Taxicab Commission, asking them to stop towing Uber cars, and then started working toward a compromise among all the parties, including those who were increasingly incensed by Uber’s success.
Dummy fixed to a taxi during a protest in France, January 2016.
Photographer: Georges Gobet/AFP/Getty Images
What was needed, she reasoned, was an unambiguous clarification of Uber’s legal status that cut through the contradicting regulations and allowed it to operate in the city. Cheh spent the week after Memorial Day 2012 negotiating with Uber executives, and the result of those talks, Cheh thought, was an elegant short-term compromise that she called the “Uber amendments.” The regulations would give Uber legal sanction to operate. But they also added a price floor, which required Uber to charge several times the rate of a taxicab.
What happened next would mold the political tactics of Uber and many of the tech startups that sought to emulate it.
In San Francisco, Kalanick had never fully agreed to a minimum fare. Now recognizing the approaching competition from companies such as Hailo, a competitor in the U.K., and realizing that services like UberX would require aggressive price cuts, he decided he wanted to fight—to the consternation of his own lobbyists, who’d already provisionally agreed to Cheh’s deal.
Kalanick started hurling rhetorical hand grenades, labeling Cheh’s proposal a “price fixing scheme” on Twitter and accusing the councilwoman of “doing everything to protect the taxi industry.”
But Uber was going to need more than tweets to sway the D.C. City Council, so Kalanick decided to go right to his customer base. He sent an impassioned e-mail to thousands of Uber users in D.C., complaining that the City Council would make it impossible for the company to lower fares and ensure reliable service. “The goal [of the Uber amendments] is essentially to protect a taxi industry that has significant experience in influencing local politicians,” he wrote, basically accusing Cheh and her colleagues of corruption.
Then he supplied the phone numbers, e-mail addresses, and Twitter handles of all 12 members of the City Council and urged his customers to make their voices heard.
On Uber’s website the next day he posted an open letter to the council members, writing ominously, “Why would you so clearly put a special interest ahead of the interests of those who elected you? The nation’s eyes are watching to see what D.C.’s elected officials stand for.”
Cheh was taken aback by the ferocity of the response. Within 24 hours the council members received 50,000 e-mails and 37,000 tweets with the hashtag #UberDCLove. When they arrived for the last session of the summer on July 10, Cheh’s colleagues all turned to her in confusion and fear. The overwhelming response from its customers in the capital presaged the political campaigns Uber would later mount in places such as London, New York, Florida, and California.
Cheh’s price-floor idea was gone by midmorning, and an alternative amendment was proposed allowing Uber to operate legally in D.C. until the matter was revisited at the next meeting in September.
Kalanick got plenty of advice from his lobbyists in advance of his testimony that month in the historic Wilson Building on Pennsylvania Avenue. Play it straight. Just stick to the talking points and don’t engage in a philosophical back-and-forth. The real advocacy takes place in other forums. In public hearings, try to act benign and respectful.
He started testifying at 1:15 p.m., after a morning that had included appearances by Linton, various drivers, and Hailo founder Jay Bregman, who wore a suit and tie and pointed out that Hailo worked harmoniously with regulators in London and Dublin and planned to do so in D.C. as well.
But Kalanick wasn’t in the mood for gentle courtship. Facts and intellectual arguments, not charm, were his weapons, and unlike Bregman, he wasn’t ready to kiss any political rings. Wearing a blue blazer, white shirt, and no tie, he interrupted Cheh’s first question with the words “I would disagree with that characterization.” Things went downhill from there.
“You wanted to make sure that there was a minimum fare on our services so that only rich people could use Uber, not people of middle income,” Kalanick told her.
Cheh pointed out that the proposed and discarded price floor was meant as a way to ensure a peaceful transition to a more permanent arrangement. “I know that you like to cast this as some sort of fight,” she said. “Do you understand that? I’m not in a fight with you.”
“When you tell us how to do business, and you tell us we can’t charge lower fares, offer a high-quality service at the best possible price, you are fighting with us,” Kalanick replied.
“You still want to fight!” Cheh said in exasperation. The conversation turned to surge pricing, Uber’s controversial practice of charging more—sometimes a lot more—during rainstorms, blizzards, presidential inaugurations, and other times of peak demand. “I am curious about whether that is somehow a kind of gouging,” she said. “If there’s more demand, why should the rider have to pay more money?”
Kalanick launched into an explanation of the economy of Communist Russia and how long lines formed at stores for essentials such as toilet paper. “It’s because the price of toilet paper was too low,” he said. “There wasn’t enough supply. Everybody could afford toilet paper, but they could never get it because there were too many people that wanted it and not enough people willing to supply it. And so that’s kind of the situation that gets created when you’re not able to change price.”
“So they didn’t have any toilet paper,” Cheh said with mock amazement.
“It was a rough situation,” Kalanick replied. “Look, price controls by governments, you know, they don’t always go well. In fact, I’d say 99 percent of the documented cases don’t go well.”
“But what I’m trying to figure out is why you get the advantage,” Cheh said, as she recalled standing in a long hot line in 1968 to view Robert Kennedy lying in state after his assassination and being horrified as vendors jacked up their prices for water. “I’m not sure I fully agree with you that this is really an economic mechanism that makes everybody happy!”
In San Francisco, Salle Yoo, Uber’s relatively new chief counsel, was watching a webcast of the hearing. According to an Uber lobbyist named Marcus Reese, at around this point in the testimony, she started texting him, asking him to pull Kalanick from the stand as soon as possible. “He’s in the middle of a public hearing,” Reese texted back. “I can’t just walk up to him and say you’ve got to go!”
Trips per day, New York, November 2016
337k
216k
Yellow cabs
Uber
Data: New York City Taxi & Limousine Commission
Pro-taxi councilman Jim Graham, wearing a taupe suit and a gold bow tie, was sitting to Cheh’s right. “I’m trying to make a point,” he scolded Kalanick. “And the point that I’m trying to make is that if you remain unregulated, and the taxicabs remain increasingly more regulated, there’s a fundamental inequity to that.” He urged Kalanick to reconsider a minimum fare. “I don’t want this city to be [all] Uber. I really don’t. Because there’s too much of a history of our taxicab industry.”
“If you allow competition, what you’ll get is a better taxi industry,” Kalanick said.
“You can’t have competition where one party is unbridled and able to do whatever they please whenever they want to do it and the other party has their hands and feet tied,” Graham said. “That’s not competition.”
“That means drivers are making a better living and riders are getting a better service,” Kalanick said. “And that doesn’t sound bad to me.”
Graham said that many taxi businesses in the District were small businesses. “This is a good thing. This is something we want to protect and nurture. This is not something we want to destroy for the sake of some kind of consolidation into a big company.” Kalanick tried to interrupt him. Graham snapped, “May I be a member of this committee, please? Do you mind?”
Kalanick laughed. “Go ahead.”
After Kalanick left the stand, Graham, visibly infuriated, suggested reinstating and even increasing a proposed minimum fare. Janene Jackson, a deputy chief of staff to Mayor Gray, came up to Reese and Claude Bailey, a well-known local lawyer that Uber had also hired, and offered her own memorably harsh review of the testimony. “Never bring that guy back here!” she said, according to Reese. Later, Jackson couldn’t recall saying that specifically. “The hearing was probably a bad one, because I have no recollection of it, except that he pissed almost everyone off,” she tells me.
And yet. By December, with Uber growing by 30 percent to 40 percent each month in the capital, Cheh and her colleagues, knowing that its users were ready and willing to defend the service, succumbed to the tide of political advocacy and essentially rolled over. On Dec. 4, the Public Vehicle-for-Hire Innovation Amendment Act defined without ambiguity a new class of sedans that could be dispatched via a smartphone app and could charge by time and distance.
It passed the Washington, D.C., City Council unanimously, garnering even Graham’s vote, without debate. “The real issue is how receptive the government is to the progress of the people,” Kalanick told me a few years later. “It’s not about the city council or the government, it’s actually about how the incumbent industry is persuading them, let’s say, to do what I would consider the wrong thing.” Ultimately, he added, “D.C. was very receptive. But it took them time to see it and feel it.”
When traditional advocacy failed, Uber mobilized its users and directed their passion toward elected officials. The company wasn’t the first to employ this tactic, but it quickly became among the best at it, leveraging it in early battles with Cambridge, Mass., Philadelphia, and Chicago—and usually winning.
Kalanick had broken every rule of advocacy. Nevertheless, Uber’s lawyers and lobbyists, who’d begged him, unsuccessfully, to seek compromise and testify with humility, began to whisper in reverent tones about a new political dictate that contravened all their old assumptions. Travis’s Law. It goes something like this:
Our product is so superior to the status quo that if we give people the opportunity to see it or try it, in any place in the world where government has to be at least somewhat responsive to the people, they will demand it and defend its right to exist.
Over the years, Chesky and Kalanick struck up a sporadic friendship. Every few months or so, they would go out to dinner in San Francisco, first by themselves, then with other entrepreneurs or with their girlfriends to discuss their companies’ twin successes and their common experiences battling regulators and lawmakers. “I think we learned a lot by watching each other,” Chesky says. “There are only so many people in the world that you can relate to [who share] your position.”
Employees at both Airbnb and Uber remember these dinners well. Says one Airbnb executive who was also close to Uber employees: “Brian would come back saying, ‘We have to be tougher!’ and Travis would come back saying, ‘We have to be nicer!’ ”
Kalanick’s realization may have come too late. His company's reputation as a ruthless aggressor was molded by such tactics as introducing ride-sharing in Europe, where it was expressly illegal, and adding a “de Blasio mode” to its app over the summer of 2015. It was a dig at New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, which showed a hypothetical alternate reality with 25-minute wait times for Uber cars, should his proposed vehicle cap be put in place. As the D.C. City Council had done years before, de Blasio meekly withdrew the proposal when confronted with a torrent of criticism and activism from Uber drivers and riders.
Uber’s top destinations, by number of rides
1 Los Angeles Intl. Airport
2 San Francisco Intl. Airport
3 JFK Intl. Airport
4 O’Hare Intl. Airport
5 Newark Liberty Intl. Airport
Data: Uberestimate.com
Chesky and his team watched Uber’s travails, following Kalanick’s series of defiant stare-downs with city councils and regulators, and insisted somewhat dubiously that Airbnb’s approach was different and softer than Uber’s. “They have their own way of seeking growth,” says Jonathan Mildenhall, who joined Airbnb as chief marketing officer in 2014. “I think for us, our community and the humanity of our community actually drives a lot of the things we do. So we approach any kind of awkward situation or any challenge with a lot of empathy and a lot of open collaboration. ... We don’t want to kind of bulldoze our way into success. We actually want to partner our way in.”
Airbnb’s reputation survived this period of feverish empire building far better than Uber’s. But like Uber, when confronted by laws it found unjust, or perhaps just inconvenient, Airbnb didn’t slow down. As Airbnb grappled with unfriendly governments in New York and other cities, it turned out that the upstarts were far more alike than Chesky and his colleagues cared to admit.
From the book The Upstarts: How Uber, Airbnb, and the Killer Companies of the New Silicon Valley Are Changing the World by Brad Stone.
© 2017 by Brad Stone. Reprinted by permission of Little, Brown & Co., New York, N.Y. All rights reserved.
Editor: Jim Aley
Illustrations: Simon Abranowicz
Development: James Singleton and Blacki Migliozzi
Photographs: Getty Images (8)
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