#i drew him right after i finished i love my girl so much i havent drawn him in so LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

[renegaedz]

hi im back

[ID: Two sketches of Madara Uchiha. In the first sketch a picture of Patrick Bateman covered in blood is on the canvas beside Madara. Madara is depicted in a suit and with curly hair, and is drawn from the shoulders-up, with blood splattered on the side of his face and spilling out of his mouth. He's smiling and licking the blood off his mouth.

In the second sketch, a picture of Denji Hayakawa from the Chainsaw Man manga is on the canvas beside Madara, in the panel Denji is cutting a tree with Pochita as his chainsaw. Madara is depicted with curly hair and a long coat and knee-high boots, his full body is drawn, and he's turned to the side, pulling the chain on a chainsaw as his hair flies out behind him. End ID]

[pinkykitten]

everything stays

chapter 1 - blood on her hands :: gisela klein [ an aot oc story ] 

note: hey guys i know its been a rlly long time since ive posted anything and u may be rlly let down and underwhelmed that ive chosen to write a aot oc instead of fanfic but its what i want to write and i rlly love my oc and wanna give her some love and some praise and let u a little in how i see her. im sorry i havent posted a lot im going to try to write more and who knows i may or may not finish this but its ok imma try lol but life sometimes is a butthole. i hope you love her as much as i do an tysm for taking time out of ur day to read this story. enjoy!

Even though she knew that this day would have to come and that it was near, it still was a surprise for her. She was taken aback. It didn’t make sense and add up to her; she was trained for this since she was little; preparing mentally and physically for phase one of the plan; and the day appeared through the trees; past the wall; the opportunity was present; the fate of the people were waiting in their hands; and yet she felt a sense of evilness within her heart. Was this right? But there was no time. 

The day was written down in history. The stories were spread around like a disease. Heights, jaws, teeth, feet, stench, the screams. If they survived that nightmare they were seen as a tough soldier; as someone that was applauded because they probably had PTSD and had to see everyday as a reason within themselves or God that they were alive. That maybe just maybe they were saved for a reason; for a purpose. That is what Gisela Klein thought. Maybe there was something greater out there for her to do, to accomplish and that was why she saw another day; breathed another breath. 

But one thing was for sure. Forgiveness would never come her way; she would never expect it. To be a warrior she had to endure the horror; the pain; feelings of worthlessness; and friendships lost. 

This is the story of the 10th finding titan; the Slash Titan.

The pounding of her heart rang through her ears. It had taken everything for her to keep going on this journey; to continue on the path to and through Hell. She felt a loss within her and the light in her eyes died out. The loss of her friend made it hard for her to function. To keep her head in the game and in the plan. 

She sighed as she stared at her hands. Broken and bruised like her heart; scars and scratches scattered on her skin. Her bite mark deeply engraved into her flesh. She heaved a huge sigh. Ready to give death a handshake and make a deal with the devil. Panic was rising in her chest from her stomach, almost ready to throw up. 

As she thought about her family back home she realized there was no other way; she had to do this. In order to be with her family, to save them she had to do the one thing she was trained to do. 

Kill.

A lightning strike shot over the wall. The wall that kept the monsters away and at bay. Something was wrong; the air seemed to change. The lightning strike caused a boom, clap and the ground started to shake. 

Bertholdt drew his leg back and with full force swung his leg forward, knocking a hole into the wall that was impenetrable. Many people flew back from the wind of the blow and some were crushed by the debris of the wall. 

Many were going to die; but it’s what needed to be done. 

The titans were called. 

Finally the titans entered the devils homes and started to rip up their lives. “This is right, this is right.” Gisela had to keep reminding herself. “For my family.” And something snapped within her. The image of her mother, tortured, flashed in her mind. And suddenly everything was worth it. “No regrets.”

Gisela eyed Reiner, an agreement, a sign. She exhaled and in a quick motion placed her hand to her mouth and bit into it. In a spark she transformed into her titan form. Her eyes were much like a cats, sharp. She was made into the slash titan, she was chosen for this program. Her titans fingers were like sharp knives, able to cut any object or person. They hung a little past her knees. 

Reiner then transformed and both stomped past the hole. Many citizens glanced up, horrified. Gisela and Reiner were titans never seen before. 

She nodded to Reiner, bent down and started to pick up debris and pieces of houses to throw over the bigger wall. The chunks started to smash against people. Blood splattering everywhere. Gisela almost wanted to close her eyes from the immense amount of dead bodies piled on top of others, graves upon graves. 

She was hauling boulders as high and fast as she could. Her titan held a high amount of power and strength. Being slim, muscular and as tall as the armored titan and female titan. Reiner took a step back and gained his speed to go onward to destroy the bigger wall. 

“Fire!” Their soldiers cried out. Fear evident on their face. They shot their cannons, not even slowing down Reiner. Gisela continued flinging, wanting to create a path for Reiner. She was faster than before and many of her hits flattened the men in the front lines. Their screams and cries loud. 

“Close the gate!” They tried, it was their last hope to save humanity. But it was not enough. Reiner broke the wall and killed those running and they went flying. They reached even higher than Gisela. It astounded her almost, they seemed like helpless birds flying high in the sky; but that thought was quickly wiped clean because the second they flew up in the air they came straight down with much force that many parts of their bodies broke. 

Reiner did what he needed to do, he opened up a way for the titans to get in and they were swarming by the bunches. 

In the distance, the survivors fled in boats across the river to get into the other walls. Gisela put herself in their shoes for a second. They had reason to be scared. Everything they have ever known was gone; their houses, loved ones, food, a place to feel the most comfortable you can feel despite situations; it was all gone. Gisela shook the thought out, not caring about these cruel humans feelings. They had none. No emotions. Gisela had to believe that thought; what she was told, she had to believe it with all her heart, or else what was real?

They waited till they were able to not be seen and Gisela turned human first and then so did Reiner. The four of them hopped on the boat. Talking amongst themselves. The wind howled through the vacant homes. Destruction everywhere. Gisela looked around her setting and saw a little girl had been crushed because a tree fell on her, her doll mere inches away from her grasp. She died with her eyes open; almost looking into Gisela’s soul through the eyes. Gisela’s body trembled and she threw up. 

“Don’t.”

Gisela looked up to see Reiner wiping blood and debris off his clothes. He picked his sleeve and turned Gisela’s head to look away, he wiped her chin and mouth off the puke. He saw the trauma in her eyes and felt guilty. But it’s what needed to be done. He kept telling himself that the more he did this the more he would understand and get used to it. It was still all new to her and he had to be strong for her. He knelt in front of her small frame. “It’s not your fault. They needed to die. We are in this together. You don’t need them. Look at me.”

Gisela looked into his eyes, away from the sadness. His eyes carried the feeling of wanting to be wanted. That was always what Reiner wanted. But they also had fear in his eyes. 

“Stop acting like you’re in control when I know how sick you feel. I know how afraid you are Reiner.”

He paused and took a look at his hands and others surrounding him. “You’re right. But I made a promise to Marcel.”

They joined the other citizens arriving at the food reserves. The master of disguise was needed in this mission. People needed to see four hungry, depressed children that survived the fall of their homes, not mass murderers. 

Annie was only able to fetch two loaves. “Alright, who's the most hungry?”

“You girls should eat, you’re more feeble.” Bertholdt sat on a crate, pointing to Gisela and Annie. 

Annie tsked, moving a bang from her eyes, “who says girls are more feeble? I recall kicking your ass all those times in training.”

“You guys can eat it, I’m not hungry.” Gisela sat on the other crate and saw the chaos of the crowds. A boy caught her interest. He had dark brown hair, tan skin, and light blue green eyes. He was having bread shoved in his mouth and he seemed to have such a strong personality to him. If only Gisela felt so strongly about her motive and her placement in this life. 

“You really should eat, you need your energy after all you did.” Annie broke all the loaves in half and shared it amongst the four of you. “It’s not much but at least it's something.”

Gisela sighed, “you’re right. Thanks.”

After that day there was land given to only a few refugees but there were too many of them. Luckily the four of them had a piece of land that was enough until further inching themselves within society. Through that whole span each day was getting easier and easier living with the lies and day by day Gisela felt more at sure with herself and knowing that she could fulfill this mission. Pills and alcohol helped the pain and ease the thoughts. She taught herself to put a gap between what she came here to do and feelings. She told herself every day that nobody else mattered except her family and Reiner. She trained her brain to not care, to not have strings attached or any love for anything. It was all a play, all a rehearsal for when the curtain would fall. She was readying herself for that fall. Everyday she educated herself more on these scums. What they liked, wanted, needed, craved for, and what they craved more than ever in their life was freedom. 

She trained her body as if it were her last day, barely getting sleep. The face of her mother haunting her every night making her get up at three in the morning to do pushups or sit ups. Not only was her mind getting stronger but also her body. Even Reiner would make jokes noticing the muscles that would appear. The six pack that formed on her stomach. Her thighs growing tight and firm, her arms growing stronger. The sweat growing on her forehead longer. 

With her body growing her relationship with Reiner also changed. They no longer were the tiny children that didn’t understand anatomy or the air between two people. Reiner and Gisela’s relationship was of being flirty, sharing a few kisses here and there, trying to be a couple but then yelling at each other and breaking it up and realizing maybe this isn’t right a million times. Even Bertholdt and Annie were getting tired of their outbursts. But each time they made up to be friends only and then the cycle started where the feelings came in the way and they wanted to be more. They would tease each other, especially Reiner. They were each other's best friends. Gisela was like one of the boys, loud, obnoxious, burping all the time, Reiner would get a look at her and smirk thinking he taught her well. When Reiner looked at her he felt at home and that everything was going to be okay. Her nightmares continued and each time Reiner would come to her room and hold her, let her cry into his arms. She felt he was the only person that knew her pain. 

Gisela understood many things in life and for once she understood her life here, she understood why she was born and chosen. 

It was the following year and in order to get closer to finding the founding titan the four became part of the 104th cadet corps. 

“Are you ready to train more?” Gisela nudged Reiner, eyebrow raised.

“What do you mean train more? This is going to be a new but scary experience honestly.” Reiner spoke as if he was a different person. As if he didn’t have a life outside of the walls. 

“Reiner?” Gisela placed her hand on his shoulder, steadying him. He looked fine on the outside but Gisela knew the issues were inside, his mind. She knew this was becoming disastrous to him, he was starting to have almost two personalities, two lives, two worlds, two people. Gisela tried to tell Annie or Bertholdt, they saw it too but there was nothing they could do. 

All that Gisela could do was smile as they made their way to the first day of training. 

note: again ty y’all sm!!!! If u liked it lmk and this is kinda new for me cuz I usually don’t post my ocs stories here or much at all but I’m rlly excited for y’all to see her and for y’all to know this oc of mine and hopefully accept her ❤️

Taglist: @witchofinterest @chlobenet @eddysocs @fpxloomis @whctsherncme-archive @ocfairygodmother @fandomchick80 @ocappreciationtag

[troop52]

do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?

THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!

Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks

I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard) Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()

Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.

Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?

The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.

Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you

Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.

Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)

Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...

MAX + The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man... + Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing" + Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me

EEF + The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in. + Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too + Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.

KENT + Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks. + I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo + Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)

NEWT + I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess + Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how" + On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him

SHEL + Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found" + Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something + Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden

If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)

[tomdiddlyumptious]

help me shift 👹

MAKING SURE YOU ARE CLEAR OF WHAT YOU WANT.

Please make sure you are clear of what you want! If you are not clear of what you want you might accidentally shift into somewhere DONT wanna be. To avoid this make sure you watch a video of where you wanna shift to before you do it. 

Example: i watch peter parker 5 minute videos of clips of him being a dork or etc, i look at peter parker/tom holland pictures of him holding a guitar because as you came from kats blog you know i like peter parker singing to me, i might look at video clips of him singing, but he doesnt sing in his new york voice so i have to imagine that on my own.

Example: i shifted to five nights at freddies, they ended up having an orgy. scary<3.

REMEMBER THIS IS YOUR REALITY.

In your desired reality you can make whatever you want to. If everytime you clap you hands you make zendaya teleport to give you a kiss YOU CAN DO THAT. if you want to control your desired reality, meaning in you control everything they say YOU CAN DO THAT. just make sure you have a script. Its basically like writing a blurb or a series if you do that! You can look like whatever you want to, if you wanna be 11111’9 you can be that!, if you wanna be rich you can be that!

Example: i might write on my script that everytime i shift to my reality that i wake up cuddling peter parker, then hed wake up while i am making breakfast and remind me of how beautiful i am and wrap his arms around my waist.

Example: i own a house that would be 4 million dollars in my cr, but when i shifted into my dr it only costed a single dollar and i dont have to pay rent.

Example: sadly my family isnt supportive of the lgbtq+ so in my dr i stick to they/them but as i progress i have peter help me of who i wanna be the next day, she/they, or he/they. If you dont recall i made a post about seed of chucky, how i am basically glen/glenda because i cannot figure it out, yeah….peter made that joke- sometimes hed tell tony how beautiful his boyfriend is, which i totally love him for that, or how beautiful his girlfriend is, which is so loving to me. 

SHIFTING.

I personally do not support permanent shifting!! Nor do i consider it. Because you might miss your family, your friends, and something might happen to then while youre gone. Also, do not become attached. It can cause extreme sadness and probably depression (i personally havent went through this because i dont know how dumb my clone is and theyd probably walk in a grocery store without their mask on)

Example: if i were to shift to somewhere permanent, say ive been there for about a year, and i dont know how long ive been shifted in my real life, you might be in your dr for one year but what if in your cr youve been gone for 3?? Remember you dont remember ANYTHING from your cr while youve been gone to your dr one.

Example: peter parker says i love you and i hope youre here forever and now you dont wanna leave him but you have to go. And then you get so stressed about it that you cant shift but you miss him so much.

Example: i come back from my dr and have to take a covid test for my job just to find out that i have it, but then i become confused, i havent been anywhere. And then boom it comes to you that youve shifted and you cant control anything. 

SCRIPTS.

Scripts are great!! They take a lot of time tho. Thats why i recommend you do it on docs instead of paper and then maybe print it out. If you wanna. My script isnt fully finished AT ALL but i am clear of what i want to it helps too. Scripts help out with what you want fully! You can always change it anytime you like, make different ones, and anything youd like! In your script you can write out how others think of you, your appearance, the way you smell, the way you act, your love interests, your hobbies, your family, and your backstory.  You can add your cr friends, shift celebs in and more! Add in what your house looks like!

Example: appearance: i have large blue eyes, my waist is 1’ inch and i am so skinny, i am the only beautiful girl in school. Mood: i cry when someone calls me annoying and pushes me, but then sings this is my fight song and becomes very confident and making everyone join me singing to the bully making them drop to the floor and cry, making me feel sad and helping them up before we become friends and they hurt my heart again, breaking it before i sing again making them move away forever and make me so popular in school, making peter parker want me and do my homework making me have all A+s

Example: backstory: i was born into the richest mafia and when i was five my parents died in a car crash.

Example: love interests: peter parker, we met at the ice skating rink and i accidentally fell, he made fun of me and hates my guts and he calls me a whore everytime making me look down to me feet “i-i-i-i-i-i-i im so s-sorry!” and then i ran away. MJ, we met in class, she drew me. I dont like her because she too nice, but she likes me and compliments me on my small waist. Haz osterfield. Hes so rich and he calls me a good girl everytime he accidentally drops his pencil and asks me to pic me up, i let out a gentle “UwU” before doing a ahegao face before he shoves his two fingers down my throat<3

WAITING ROOMS.

Your waiting room is your safe place, it can look like an office, like a bedroom, a livingroom. Anything you want. You use waiting rooms if you arent ready to go to your dr, if you wanna take a break from your dr. there can be multiple doors, from different realities, you can have an assistant who checks up on you every time you come in and out of the room. 

Example: my waiting room is a soft coffee brown, contains of six doors, looking around i see a large tall green plant right next to a assistant desk, finding harrison osterfield with glasses, clicking through my realities, keeping up files, making sure nothing is going wrong and throwing some suggestions spicing up the reality i choose. The six doors lead to, New york, Queens, the space ship of guardians of the galaxy, Mean girls, Hogwarts, a famous lifestyle with tom holland, a regular life style with tom holland, and a school of a mix of Ron, the twins, Harry, peter parker, MJ, haz, ned, oliver wood, betty. Carl from shameless, Otis from sex ed, the hold stranger things circle, and etc<3.

METHODS.

Methods help you to shift. You can make your own even. I use the heartbeat method, the alice in wonderland method, and the raven method. 

Alice in wonderland: imagine yourself sitting against a tree, a book in your hands as you could help but look up and see (love interest/friend in cr) run past, it made you look, your confused as you stand up running after them. There much ahead of you, just running straight as you could hear their footsteps against the floor before they suddenly stopped, right before jumping down a rabbit hole, your eyebrows furrow before you walk up to the hole you watched as his body became littler and littler, suddenly feeling the urge to fall down the rabbit hole, you do. As you fall freely down the rabbit whole you find yourself letting go of th things you dont want. What do you not want, your homework? Your car? Your landlord? Your prince-able? Your cheap toaster? And as you think about it you slowly drop, your eyes closing and your feet meeting the ground as you imagine your eyes open. Looking around you find white walls, 6 white doors, three on each side with golden handles. But you didnt feel connected to those so you continued to walk down the hallway. Coming to a stop you looked left and right, finding your love interest on the right with a small golden key in their hand. They smile at you, walking over, the grab your hand, their hand warm holding yours before they ask, “are you ready?” you say yes, they smile and turn their head to their right, you did the same, finding another door. They let your hands go “see you on the other side y/n” they smiled before walking off. You looked at the key in your hand before walking up to the door, putting the key in and turning it, haring the door unlock and you opened the door. Finding yourself in your dr room, finding your dr self sleeping in their bed. You close the door behind you, walking to the body and opening the blanket to lay ontop of them. You slowly feel your soul seeping into your dr self, feeling tingles throughout your body as you entered your dr one. You have shifted. 

Heartbeat method: you play heartbeat sounds on your phone (perferably the app musi) and lay your head on top of the pillow, hearing the heartbeats you imagine its your dr love interest laying under you. I personally listen to the humming one too. As you fall asleep you should feel the shifting side effects.

Raven method: you can lay anyway you want, just make sure your limbs arent touching. You close your eyes softly and slowly count to 100, you might have to do it over and over again. But as the numbers pass you can say affirmations, or “past memories” or imagine yourself with your dr love intrest/friend. 

The way i do it is, i use the alice in wonderland method first, but instead of laying down by myself i imagine my dr love interest came inside of the room with me, laid down next to my dr self and told me to “come on” or i imagine theirs double of us (dr peter parker) and we shift together, then after that the heartbeat method plays, while im still laying down with peter and im ontop of his chest im listening to his heartbeat, im also counting, closing everything else out but either his “heartbeat” or my breathing while counting up to 100.  There is also shifting guidance here. I suggest you make a playlist with the alice in wonderland and then the heartbeat method or do them separately if you want!

Now, i am not the best of them all but this is what i could provide!!

[hardyimagines]

Savior

Hi loving all the Alfie requests can't wait for the choking kink one😄 just would like to know if you got my request I sent in today about the shy new neighbor to Alfie and he's mean at the start coz he doesn't want her knowing to much coz she lives so close. Then someone attacks her or breaks into her home and Alfie helps her wouldn't mind a bit of smut to.😉 She is a shy quiet kind of girl I was thinking. if you could let me know if your interested that be great. BTW your a Queen🤗

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Dandelions resided in the surrounding vases, perched up on the wooden mantle. You brushed your fingers along the polished surface, smooth beneath your delicate touch. The usual pricks of thin wood that stuck up were removed, leaving you without the threat of getting a splinter. The interior of the room was, for the most part, empty because you’d only recently moved in. A white sofa sat crookedly in the corner of the room, too heavy for you to move on your own. The windows needed to be cleaned and one of them had a tiny crack in the center. It wouldn’t be too hard to find someone to help you fix it, but you already had so much to do. The rolled rug that leant against the wall was bound shut. It was dusty from sitting in storage for a month, but now that it was ready to be unrolled and laid out, you were afraid to do so. Bugs and dust would go every which way the second that you set it out. It had to be done though. Eventually. Hands on your hips, you mosied around the room, envisioning where you would put this and that. The men who’d helped move your furniture into the house hadn’t offered to help situate it and why would they, it wasn’t their job. The trousers you wore were high on your waist, fancy blouse tucked into the hem of them. Adjusting the band, you moved to the window and looked out at the foggy city. Only one man stood outside.

He was tall. He was handsome. His beard was bushy and brown, it coated the entirety of his chin and jaw. The tophat that sat neatly on the top of his head was black and lint-free. He was leant against the side of a car, palm on the rolled down window. He looked angry from the angle you were stood at. His features twisted into a look of disappointment before his muffled shout flooded the silent house you were stood in. You frowned lightly and crossed your fingers in hopes that he didn’t live anywhere near you. The man in the car, sat in the passenger seat, locked eyes with you and Alfie turned to inspect what Ollie was looking at. Your face went hot from embarrassment at being caught. Stepping hurriedly away from the window, you dropped down on the sofa and buried yourself into the cushions.

Alfie squinted toward the figure in the window. It was too murky out for him to actually be able to see you. He looked back to Ollie, shrugging lightly in carelessness. He turned back toward the lad and resumed what he’d been saying. He let out a heavy sigh before stepping away from the car and shaking his head. You lifted your head from the couch and peered over the edge. The man was making his way along the sidewalk and to the house directly next door. Huffing, you let out a muffled groan before hiding your face once more. Great. Now your neighbor thought you were nosy.

Alfie opened his front door before slamming it shut. The floorboards creaked beneath his weight. He held his cane in his right hand, the chipped wood rough in his palm, but he didn’t care. He needed the walking stick to aid his sore, achy muscles. Moving into the kitchen, he eyed the clutter on the dining room table. Scattered papers, empty glasses, messy dishes, crumbs from meals. Cyril followed along behind his wonder, ears flopping. He let out a soft whine. Lately, Alfie had been so stressed — so angry. The mutt was sick of listening to his owner shout and yell over this and that. He laid down under the table, situating his chin on Alfie’s boot. He tried his best to offer some sort of comfort but Alfie nudged him away.

“Right, Cyril, go on, yeah, I’ve got a lot to fucking do.” He pulled out one of the chairs and the second he dropped down on the seat, there was a knock on the door. His head tipped back, annoyance tripling in seconds. He moaned out a string of curses before hitting the table with his palm. Rising, he strode down the hall and toward the door. The whole house seemed to shake beneath the force of his angry steps. Alfie grasped the rusted doorknob and hauled it open, blue eyes icily roaming your form. You stood on the porch, hands in your backpockets and soft eyes trailing innocently over his features. He looked worn and tired. He seemed much older due to the bags under his eyes and his hunched stance. It wasn’t a good first impression to show up and introduce yourself while also apologizing, but.. you could see, as soon as he opened the door, he wouldn’t be kind to you either way. He seemed like the cane in his palm had just been wedged in his ass and he was as grumpy as ever.

“Hello..” Your voice failed you instantly. It was too soft, quiet, almost inaudible. The discreet attempt to clear your throat was far too loud. Alfie lifted a brow. He hadn’t expected you, a small lass, to be stood on his porch.

“What?” He ground out roughly. His fingers lazily traced the door handle that his palm resided on. The wood was wide open so he could stand in the opening but when he heard the sound of Cyril’s jingling collar signaling that the pup was approaching, he shut the door in the slightest to prevent the mastiff from getting out. His eyes flickered along your features, brows lifting when you didn’t speak up instantly. He could see the evident twitch of your lips and then the little tremble. You were nervous. That much was evident. “Have you, yeah, forgotten how to fucking speak?” He grumbled. “I’ve got a lot to do, havent I, right, so you’d best be on your way.” He felt a little twinge of guilt for being so rude right away, but he had a lot of stress sitting on his shoulders and he didn’t want you thinking that he was interested in any company. He liked his space. He went to close the door - half of him expected you to halt him, but you didn’t speak up. Your body felt hot and uncomfortable, stomach churning nervously. You waited until the door was shut completely before you stepped forward and knocked again. Alfie was stood on the other side of the door, brows drawn together in an angry furrow. He yanked the thing open with an uttered complaint. His eyes fell on you once more, cane tapping the floor impatiently. He didn’t speak again, he waited.

“I..” You nibbled your bottom lip before clasping your hands together in front of you. The wooden border that lines his door was suddenly more interesting than his face. “just wanted to come by and introduce myself. I’m moving in next door.” Your thumb ushered toward the house, stood tall. It was rundown, but it was liveable. Alfie looked toward the wreck before looking back down at you. He squinted in the slightest. Why on earth were you moving in there? It had been abandoned for a very long time. That place was nothing but trouble. He shifted his weight before tonguing his cheek.

“Keep it down. I’m a very busy man.” His tone wasn’t as harsh as it had been when he’d previously spoken to you. “I don’t want to hear you and your family..”

“I’m living on my own.” You cut him off. The second you did, a little bubble of nerves filled your tummy, but you didn’t shy away. “I was just coming by to say I’m sorry for earlier.. when I was stood at the window. I wasn’t trying to by snoopy, I was just looking to see who lived beside me.” The tips of your nails grazed your pockets before sinking into them. “My name’s Y/N.” You finished quietly. He was silent for a few moments. His lips rubbed together in contemplation, beard rustling in the slightest as the strands met.

“Alfie.” He grunted. You reached forward to shake his hand. Nimble fingers grazed thick, rough ones, tracing them tenderly before you gripped him securely. His hand locked around your own, shaking it much sweeter than he had been. His nails had dirt pushed under the crevices, embedded in the tight space. You inspected the crown tattoo that resided on his skin, neatly etched in his flesh. Absentmindedly touching the outline with your thumb, your eyes fluttered up to his own, blue orbs scanning your own. He drew his hand away from yours when a shiver of delight raced along his spine. He had been deprived of any sort of affectionate touch for years now and he wasn’t going to allow himself to crumble at the slightest bit of attention. He let out a low murmur before pushing the hand that stung with warmth into his coat pocket. He tipped his head toward you in the slightest before backing up and into his home.

“Nice to meet you.” You politely excused yourself. Backing away, the flats of your shoes tapped the wooden deck lightly as you retreated. He watched you go, staring, long after you had returned to the warmth of your home. He stared at the deck where you’d just been stood with an evident, contagious grin. He slowly shut the door before letting out a puff of air. Turning away from the door, he made his way down the hall and into the bedroom so he could busy himself with the work that had been previously annoying him.

You twisted the lock on your door and looked out the window toward the sun in the distance which was bidding the world goodbye for the next few hours. With no bed to sleep on, that left you with the couch for the night. Lifting your leg over the arm of the sofa, you climbed over the side and collapsed on the cushion. Eyes lifting to the ceiling, you sighed quietly. It had been a busy day. With nothing to do and the weight of the busy day, your eyes grew droopier and droopier until they closed completely. The sun was still setting, so that meant it was only around 8. But that didn’t stop you from falling asleep.

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Two weeks of living in the house had left you with constant visits from the mastiff next door. His owner you didn’t see much of. Not unless you went by and asked for help. He helped as much as he could. He’d fixed a few windows. And he’d planned to help you lay out your rug, but you were waiting for your bed to be delivered first. Alfie was more than willing to help you out — given he would grumble and swear throughout the timeframe he was with you, but you were glad to have him around. All the time you’d been spending with your neighbor, which wasn’t a lot, but it was enough, had made you fancy him a little. He was very handsome. He made you laugh. And, though he denied it, he was kind in his own way. You saw him every two days or so. Whether it be brief conversations, a small hello, or when you’d see him through the window and the pair of you would exchange a wave.

It was late currently. Two days since you’d seen him. A little ball of excitement and hope rested in your belly. You were sure you’d see him tomorrow.

The birds in the trees snuggled up and went to sleep. Creatures buried themselves in warm spaces for the cold nights. People locked their doors and climbed into bed, husband and wives embracing each other, children cradling their stuffed animals. It was a very peaceful night — mostly. The streets were silent, lights illuminating the spaces for cars or people that dared venture out. The remaining broken windows in your home made it easy for anyone to come and go, but you, so naive, didn’t think anyone would want to break into such an old, worthless place. Youd been here long enough to convince yourself that you were safe — it was only kind people in this area. People who kept to themselves. You’d never been so wrong.

The sound of glass shattering woke you. The pieces hit the floor noisily, small and sharp, and coating the floor like the rug was meant to do. You sleepily sat up on the furniture. The sun was gone and the house was dark. Breathing a quiet sigh, you looked around the room to investigate what the sound had been, but you convinced yourself that paranoia and being on your own had merely made you dream up the sound. Lifting your palm to your face, your rubbed it down before swinging your legs to the side. The second your feet sunk into the floor, you stood tiredly. Laying your hand on the wall, you made your way down the hall and toward the kitchen to get a glass of water. You didn’t make it that far though before your bare feet crushed the shards of glass beneath them. Lucky for you, only one tiny, sliver of a piece cut you and it probably would’ve been more if someone hadn’t of hauled you back.

Worry flooded you. There was no relief. No ‘at least I didn’t cut my foot’ because someone was in your home. Your body was roughly thrown to the couch that you’d been asleep on. The urge to cry out was strong, but the minute you were pinned, a pair of piercing green eyes locked on to yours. His hand covered your mouth and his body covered your own to pin you in place.

“Don’t you dare make a sound.” He hissed out. Drops of spit hit you in the face because of how harshly he spoke. You clamped your eyes shut and wiggled beneath him.

“You didn’t say no one was living here!” Another voice spoke up. It came from the left side of the room.

“I didn’t know.” The one on top of you spoke. “But it’s just added fun, ain’t it.” Their accents were out of place. His hand squeezed your cheeks, pinching your lips together. The man in the corner shifted before tearing his gaze away from the two of you. He didn’t care about messing with you. This was where they came because they stashed money in the floor. It would be so much easier to just take it and go. Find a new hideout. But he could tell, as he watched his younger brother, that they weren’t leaving until he’d had a little fun with you. He made his way down the hall and toward the stash. Kneeling down, he pulled the floorboard up and stuck his hand inside to get the money.

You squirmed beneath the man, struggling to get up but it was pointless. He was too strong. You didn’t dare show your fear, you just fought. Fought until your arms ached and your body burned from frustration. You managed to get your leg free after a moment and the second you kicked the back of his thigh, he shouted out in pain. Wincing at the unexpected hit, he let up in the slightest which gave you the advantage. Freeing your arm, you hit him in the face and shoved him off of you. Rising, you sprinted from the room, narrowly avoiding any of the shards on the floor, but you were so full of adrenaline you wouldn’t have even been able to feel the pain. The kitchen window looked directly toward Alfie’s house. You could see him, sitting in what looked like an office. He was hunched over a desk, eyes low as he worked. He wore glasses, that resided in the middle of his nose as he scribbled away, unaware of the men who’d broken into your home. You hit the glass desperately.

“Alfie!” You cried out pleadingly. Even though the two of you hardly knew each other, something told you that he would come to your aid. If only he’d look up. “Alfie- please!” Hitting the glass harder and harder, you lowered your hands to the ledge and hiked the window up.

“What the hell are you doing!” The older of the two growled to his younger brother. “You can’t reveal yourself to her and then let her get away, you fucking idiot.” Rushing from the room, he hurriedly moved down the hell to get to you. He could hear you screaming and because you kept on, he could tell that whomever you were trying to shout for, clearly couldn’t hear you.

The younger brother lifted himself up and off the floor, wiping at the blood that dripped from his nostril. He growled out in annoyance, uttering about how your escape wasn’t his fault. You’d caught him off guard.

“Help!” You screamed as loud as you could, but your next attempt was silenced. The man who hadn’t been messing with you gripped the back of your hair and lugged you back. His hand covered your mouth, silencing you.

“Keep in mind, lass, there’s two of us and one of him. Don’t go calling him over here now, you’re not in any trouble. We just want to have a little fun.” Rotating, he dragged your squirming form back to the main room and shoved you to the filthy floor. Your eyes closed slowly. He hadn’t heard.

Alfie lifted his gaze away from the paper and looked out the window toward your home. He’d heard something muffled. Something quiet. He couldn’t hear it, but he could feel it. The opened window that led to your kitchen made him frown. The wind blew harshly through the opening, blowing the curtains that draped over the glass. He licked his lips slowly. That hadn’t been opened ten minutes ago when he’d looked up. He studied the opening before slowly shifting. Leaning back in his chair, he did his best to ignore the itch of discomfort that formed in his chest. Something didn’t feel right. He figured it was stupid to worry. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but wonder if you were alright. Living all on your own. He bit his upper lip, dragging it down and into his mouth before he let out a groan of annoyance. This was the last thing he needed to worry about. The lass next door? Rising, he folded up his work and removed his glasses before turning on his heel and setting off toward his front door. It wouldn’t hurt to just check on you.

Cyril followed his father out of the house, traipsing alongside him. His ears were perked and his tail was still which instantly made Alfie squint. The pup was usually very excited to go outside, especially to go see you as he tended to do when he got out. Alfie ruffled the mutt’s head before crossing the short distance from his home to yours. Climbing the stairs, he halted on the second step to the top. On the floor, muddy footprints coated your patio. Shards of glass resided on the wood as well beneath the shattered window. Alfie straightened defensively before moving to the side to peer through the opening. His ears strained, listening intently for any sign that you were in trouble. Cyril moved toward Alfie, sniffing loudly.

“Come on, boy.” Alfie whispered. “In.” Patting the sill, his eyes dropped to the dog as he lifted his paws up and on to the side of the ledge. Leaning over with a pained grunt, he helped Cyril jump into the window. The frame was too small for his big, bulky form to fit through so he instead busied himself with trying to unlock the front door. He knew he could do it, but he didn’t want to break in. Not until he heard the sudden barking and growling from his pup and then your desperate plea. Nothing could’ve stopped Alfie from getting inside, especially not the crummy lock that was meant to be protecting you. His strong shoulder and hard rams were enough to break the door in. He’d have to fix that.

“Oi!” He bellowed out. No fear filled him. No hesitation. He didn’t care who he was dealing with. The sound that your lips was enough to make his hair stand on end. Striding toward the sound of Cyril, he set his hand on the wall and turned the corner. It was so dark. “Pet?” He called out quietly. He was alert. Listening for He slightest sound, he shifted his weight from foot to foot. Cyril was in the corner, feet spread apart and head lowered. He was ready to attack. But he didn’t want to accidentally hurt you. You were curled up in the corner, laid on your side with your face pressed against the cold wood. Beaten and bruised, you remained silent, so worn out from what you’d just endured. Alfie remained close to the wall, using it to guide himself around.

“Go!” One of the men shouted. Alfie heard so many footsteps, it sounded like five men opposed to two. Two absolute pussies. They both ran. And they ran fast. But Cyril ran faster. Alfie could hear them retreating and Cyril didn’t hesitate to follow. He’d been raised to be protective and he was quite good at it. When the man was see that he was alone with you, he strode forward, searching for you.

“Pet.” He tried again. This time you whimpered out. It was so quiet, so faint, but it was enough. He found you in seconds. Lowering himself down and on to the floor, he ignored the aches and pains in his body. He was very tender when he touched you. His hand grazed your arm, trying to see if you were alright. You moaned out quietly to let him know that you were semi-okay. There was a bruise on the back of your head from where your hair had been tugged on and fortunately you’d only been hit once by the younger brother. ‘Revenge’ he’d said, because you’d hit him first. They hadn’t had time to do much else before Alfie had come over. Your face was all that hurt, but you’d curled up on the floor out of fright. He wrapped his hand around yours and when he started to pull you up, he was surprised when your small form lifted willingly. You practically crawled into his lap, arms wounding around him desperately. Clutching on to him, your hands fisted in his shirt, gripping on to him desperately. He held you close to him, lips moving to your ear. He contemplated whispering words of comfort, but he didn’t know how to. What should he say? He felt you grip him tighter when his breaths hit your ear. He settled for just resting his lips there. You whimpered out before moving your face to his neck. Your lips grazed his flesh.

“Did you hear me?” Your quiet question made his ears perk up. He hadn’t heard you, but he knew it would bring comfort you if he had.

“Yes.” The lie made him feel guilty. You’d called out for him. His hand traced your back lightly before he pulled back. “Come on, pet. Your door won’t shut, you can come back to mine.” It was impossible for him to stand because you were sat in his lap, so he waited for you to stand before he did as well. He wasn’t surprised at all by the way you stayed close to him, hand curling around his arm as he led you out of the house and toward his own. The sun wouldn’t be up for a long while so when the pair of you got to his house, he was thinking about which room to let you sleep in.

Cyril was on the porch already. Head laying on his paws, his tail wagged at the sight of you and Alfie approaching. His teeth were red from the men he’d attacked, but he hadn’t killed them. He’d just warned them. Alfie cooed quietly to the pup before opening the door and ushering the both of you in. Your movements were slow as you entered. The lighting in his house made you feel self-conscious then. You were sure you looked terrible. A forming bruise was on your cheek, bags under your eyes and cheeks sticky from your tears.

Alfie was actually in awe. Despite what you’d been through and your exhausted form, he found you to be beautiful. His hand brushed your arm, drawing you out of your thoughts.

“Come on, yeah, you can have my guest room.” His hand fell to your own. It brushed it and you didn’t think on your actions, you simply took hold of his palm and gripped on to him. Even inside the safety of his home, you felt unsure. Of course, he would protect you — that was clear, but you didn’t want to be on your own.

“Alfie, I...” you didn’t know how to tell him. But when he looked at you, it was clear that you didn’t need to.

“My room then?” He offered. The relief that washed over your face made his chest puff out. Guiding you toward the stairs, his palm squeezed your own. You felt safe with him and he liked knowing that.

Your head spun as the pair of you walked side by side. Cyril laid on the rug by the fireplace, body dropping to the floor tiredly. Every thought in your head had Alfie in it. What if he wouldn’t have come? What if he hadn’t have heard? Well, he hadn’t, and somehow, he’d still been there. Halting in the middle of the stairs, your stilled form made him pause also. He was a step below you, looking to you in confusion. His curious eyes moved between your own, searching for answers. He didn’t see one, not until you turned to face him. It felt wrong. He saw the appreciation in your stare, the need to thank you properly. But were you thinking clear? After just being attacked. It wasn’t like him to take advantage of a girl. Especially not one so vulnerable. So he tried to step forward, to show you that there was no need for this, but your hand moved to his chest, halting him.

“Wait,” You whispered. “Please.” Leaning into him, your small hand moved from his chest to the side of his neck. Caressing his skin slowly, you leaned toward him and kissed his cheek. You’d intended on kissing his lips, but the shyness that welled inside you, made you avoidant. You frowned softly before wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He couldn’t help the twitch of his lips as they dragged upwards. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he swayed slowly before dragging you forward so that your front pressed against his. He pulled back momentarily, but only so that he could position his face in front of your own once more. He was giving you a do-over. And god you were grateful. Leaning into him, your nose brushed over his lazily before your mouth met his.

Alfie inhaled deeply before stepping up so that the pair of you were stood on the same stair. His shift in position made him tower over you. Hands lifting to cup your sticky cheeks, he kissed you slowly, one palm barely holding on to you because he didn’t want to hurt you any further by touching the forming bruise. You moaned out softly, accidentally, slumping against him as your mouths moved against each other. He was like a big teddy bear, wrapped around you. Stepping back until your back met the wall, you placed your palms on his forearms, stroking his warm skin as your mouth opened, urging him to deepen the kiss. He obliged. His tongue met your own eagerly, actions brave and void of any reluctance. You loved that about him. It made up for the confidence you lacked. You felt as if he were devouring you, little by little, and it was making your legs turn to jello. Pulling back so you could suck in a deep breath, your hands moved to his stomach, resting there.

“I’m not, yeah, taking advantage of you, pet.” Alfie whispered.

“I know.” You licked your lips, savoring the feel and taste of him. “I’m fine, Alfie. I promise.” The bruise on your cheek told him that you weren’t, but he wasn’t going to argue with you. He leaned in and kissed your head, lingering there.

“I believe you.” He whispered against your skin before slowly beginning to lead you toward the bedroom. Down the corridor, at the end of the hall, a tall door stood all on its own. He opened the door and led you inside. The interior wasn’t what you’d expected, but the second you saw it, it reminded you of him. There was no time to admire the room, you wanted to kiss him again and the bed in the center only showed you that the pair of you had a place to lay. You turned around to face him and once he was close enough, you gripped his hand and pulled him forward. You would spend the rest of the night thanking him for coming to your aid. And you’d start by kissing those beautiful, pink, full lips again and again and again.

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[shels-kpop-main]

Moments, part 11

Word Count: 3146

Warnings: None. A little angst and fluff so soft

A/N: Please let me know what you guys think! Things will be heating up in the next chapter, but I had to get this last bit of fluff out of my system. If you’d like to be added to the taglist, send me an ask!

You stayed in Roger’s room the rest of the night, leaving only to retrieve the plate of food from the living room table. Upon returning with it, you set it on the bed between yourself and Roger, and the two of you shared it. After eating, the two of you stayed up talking for several hours. When you finally reached for Roger’s wrist to check the time, it was almost one in the morning.

But you didn’t leave. You just wove your fingers through Roger’s, and laid over. He did the same, and you fell asleep there. Curled up and facing each other, with your hands meeting in the middle.

You woke up to bright sunlight coming in through the window. You were still laying above the covers, but a wool blanket had been thrown over you and tucked under your feet. Your hand, previously holding onto Roger’s, was now loosely curled around his collar, the backs of your fingers pressed to his chest. You inhaled deeply, still half-asleep, but awake enough to appreciate being surrounded by things that smelled like Roger. Including Roger, who was still sound asleep across from you.

He had an arm draped over your waist, and the other rested next to his face on the pillow. You slowly pulled your hand from his shirt and touched his cheek instead. His face was warm to the touch, and smooth. You brushed your thumb softly from side to side, and this was enough to stir Roger a little. He opened his eyes slowly, only about halfway. His hand pressed to your back a little more firmly as he smiled.

“Morning, love.” His voice was husky from sleep, but it was offset by the look in his eyes. You twirled a strand of his hair between your fingers, and scooted a little closer to him.

“Good morning.”

The two of you stayed there for a few minutes, before you got up to go change. You smiled at Roger’s groans of complaint when you rolled out of bed. When you emerged from his room, still wearing your clothes from the night before, you looked down the hallway before hurrying up the stairs. The house was quiet, and it seemed that everyone had gone downstairs for breakfast already.

Which was good; you didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. God forbid someone see you coming out of Roger’s room in your clothes from the previous day and think you’d slept with him. It wasn’t anyone’s business, but knowing the guys, they’d tease you both out of the county for getting caught on a walk of shame.

The following week passed in a blur of messily-written new songs, a fresh series of photo prints, and many, many stolen kisses from Roger. He’d often pull you aside after dinner to press a trail of kisses from your mouth to the collar of your shirt. If Roger ducked outside for a smoke break during recording sessions, you’d grab him by the chin and pull his mouth to yours.

You’d somehow managed to never be found during these moments aside, but the guys weren’t stupid. They noticed the light smear of lipstick on Roger’s mouth when he came back inside. They noticed the looks you two shared over the dinner table. But you didn’t care. Being around Roger was the closest thing you had ever experienced to happiness with another person.

And however much you didn’t care, Roger cared even less. He mentioned your photography to the guys frequently, telling them about a particularly good (“bloody brilliant, you guys!”) shot you’d taken during rehearsals. He asked Deacy for advice on how to formally ask you out, to which Deacy rolled his eyes but told Roger everything he had done successfully with Veronica.

So, five days after he first kissed you by the fence outside the farm, Roger came to your door with another bouquet of dahlias.

“These are beautiful, Roger. Thank you.”

You beamed at the pretty, pink blooms in Roger’s hand and leaned in to kiss him. He accepted the kiss gratefully, immediately leaning down to you. You fidgeted with his collar, reveling in the sweet and smoky taste that you’d come to associate with Roger. You pulled away to take the flowers to the vase atop your dresser, smiling to yourself.

Roger closed the door behind him while you fiddled with the flowers. When you turned back to him, he was running a hair through his hair nervously.

“Something on your mind?” You raised an eyebrow and walked back over to him. Roger let out a breath, and shoved his hands in his pockets. His body language was starting to make you nervous, and you folded your arms.

“Yes, actually. I, uh… Whew, sorry,” Roger chuckled nervously. You must have looked concerned, but Roger’s face softened, he quickly reached forward to rub your arms.

“Everything’s alright, love,” he assured you, hands settled at your elbows. You gave him a half-hearted smile, still afraid of what he might say next.

“I just haven’t done this in a while with someone I care about,” Roger explained. You were just confused at that point, and waited for him to finish. His hands fell back to his sides.

“I, uh… I wanted to know if you’d like to go to dinner with me?” Roger rushed through the last few words, and it took you a moment to process what he said. But then, when his words hit you, you burst out laughing out of sheer relief. Roger gave you a confused frown, his eyebrows slanting with concern. You placed a hand on your chest, as if to steady your rapidly-beating heart. But then you flung your arms around his neck and kissed him fully.

“Roger Taylor,” you laughed, pulling away, “you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“What, what’d I do?” Roger smiled a little, putting his arms around your waist. You shook your head, grinning up at him.

“You got all serious, and scared me!” You answered, giving him a light shove to the chest. Roger laughed, and a light blush came to his cheeks.

“Well, I was nervous! Been a moment since I’ve properly asked a girl on a date!” Roger replied, pulling you closer. Your hands fell to his collar, as they often did when Roger was holding you close like that. It was cathartic, in a way, to play with the fabric while you talked to him. It was grounding for the both of you.

“Did you think I would say no?” You cocked an eyebrow at him. Roger shrugged, clasping his hands on the small of your back.

“Well, not necessarily,” he smirked. You shook your head at his cockiness, smiling coyly. But Roger became serious again, brows furrowing.

“So, is that a yes?”

You rolled your eyes, and moved your hands up to weave into his hair.

“Yes, Roger,” you kissed him, “I would love to go to dinner with you.”

So Roger took you into town the following night, insisting that you both dress up for your first date. It was incredibly endearing to watch his face light up when you came down the stairs in your only formal dress. It was a navy blue cocktail dress, and although it wasn’t your favorite look, it gave you great joy to see Roger’s mouth fall open. He fidgeted with his cuffs a little as you approached him, and the thought of this cool, arrogant rock star being nervous for a date made you smile.

Roger drove you to a swanky restaurant in town, telling you to wait while he jogged around the car to open your door for you. The meal went well, and the two of you stayed there, talking and drinking, until well after dark.

You were happy. You and Roger still hadn’t slept together, at his behest, but you hardly had time to be annoyed with him. The two of you spent your free time walking around the farm, arms around each other, talking about anything that came to mind. Late nights stretched into early mornings, with you and Roger usually falling asleep in your room.

At some point, Roger had brought his guitar up to your room, to play you a new song he was trying to write. You loved the song, but sleep overtook you as you lay sideways next to him while he played. Roger simply leaned his guitar against the chair your camera was sitting on, and laid down next to you, falling asleep shortly after.

But those idyllic days on the farm were numbered. And you both knew this. But still, you and Roger enjoyed the bucolic lifestyle that came with staying at the farm.

One day, as the completion of the album drew nearer, you were sitting in the studio box with your camera as the guys recorded in the live room. The phone next to the soundboard rang between takes, and the audio engineer reached over absentmindedly to pick up.

“H’llo? Uh-huh. Yeah, she’s right here.” And with that, the guy handed you the phone and returned to his work. You frowned, holding the receiver, unsure of who would be calling you. But when you pressed your ear to the phone, a familiar voice crackled across the line.

“Hello?”

“Oh, thank God. Why haven’t you called me?” Your mom sounded fretful. You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Hi, Mom.”

“It’s been two weeks since you’ve called. I was worried sick!”

“I’m sorry, Mom, it’s been crazy here. I didn’t mean to worry you. Did Uncle Jim tell you about my photography?” You attempted to deflect, but your mother was worked up, and ignored your question.

“And when are you coming home? You’ve been there for two months.”

“I don’t know, Mom. Wasn’t the whole point of staying here, to get away from everything?”

Your mom huffed out a sigh. “Well, yes, for a brief escape. Not to just move to England forever!” You rolled your eyes, already finding the conversation overlong.

“I’m not gonna be here forever,” you replied, exasperated. “It’s just that I’m waiting to hear back from the record company. The band’s manager wants to use my photos to promote the album, and they’re going to call any day. To tell me which pictures they want to use,” you trailed off, hoping your mom would appreciate the good news. But she was determined to be upset.

“Have you taken any classes?”

“I—well, no.”

“Gotten a job?”

“Potentially, weren’t you listening?” You were starting to get annoyed.

“It just seems too good to be true. If they like your pictures, what then? You just stay there, with the rock stars? Living in a dream, like you’ve been doing?”

For some reason, that statement really bothered you. Maybe you were just irritable at being faced with reality. Maybe it was the tone she took, or the way she worded it.

But you found yourself more determined than ever to make something of this getaway. Because your time on the farm had become meaningful to you. It wasn’t just an escape. You weren’t just living in a dream.

You were recovering.

Recovering from the shock you’d undergone at the loss of your dad. Recovering from the shift in your worldview. Recovering from the guilt you’d piled on yourself since that day in the hospital room with the beige floors.

“You know what,” you began, through gritted teeth. “It is like living in a dream. I have friends here now. I have Uncle Jim. I have—”

You looked up at that moment, to see Roger in the live room. He was saying something to Brian, a wide smile across his face. The sight of him brought you out of the haze of anger, and you experienced a splitting moment of clarity. No matter what, being here was worth it.

“I have everything I need here,” you finished, in a gentler tone. Mom exhaled, and you heard it, miles away, across the Atlantic.

“You’re living in a bubble, Y/N. Please come home.”

The sincerity of her tone caused you to falter. Your eyelids fluttered as you pulled your gaze away from Roger. He was joking with Freddie, who was doing a ridiculous pose on the drum risers.

“I will, Mom. When I’m ready.”

“Okay. I love you,” she replied, sounding defeated.

“I love you, too,” you said flatly, and hung up.

You had forgotten you weren’t alone until the sound engineer gave you a concerned side eye. You folded your arms.

“Sorry, Todd. Don’t tell anyone?”

The sound engineer named Todd nodded as he fiddled with the switches on the board. For all his stoicism, you were certain he could keep a secret.

“Thanks.” You left the building with tears in your eyes. Roger looked up toward the control room just as you picked up your camera. He could tell, even at a distance, that something was wrong. He knew your face well enough to tell that you were trying not to cry. You avoided looking at the guys as you exited the control room and ducked through the door without a word.

You were tired of being a mess in front of everyone, so you resolved yourself to sobbing out your frustrations in your bedroom.

Roger was staring at the door the entire time he played, even as the band finished recording their song. He wanted to go after you, but wasn’t sure if you wanted time alone. The guys noticed the funny look on his face, but didn’t say anything. When the session was wrapping up, Brian finally spoke up.

“What happened with Y/N?”

“God knows,” Freddie said, not really paying attention. He was still sitting at the piano, scribbling something on a loose piece of paper. “Anyone up for drinks in town?”

Roger ignored Fred’s question, looking from Brian, to Deacy, to the door you’d exited. Deacy had enough of Roger’s cluelessness, and broke the silence. “Oh for God’s sakes—go after her, Roger,” he told Roger, exasperated, pointing at the door. “See if she needs anything.”

“Right,” Roger responded quickly, rushing to get around his drums. Deacy rolled his eyes, but his heart was warm. Roger’s intentions were good, even if he needed a little encouragement sometimes. He found you in the attic, trying to fix something on your camera that wasn’t broken. By the time you walked to your room, the lump in your throat had disappeared. But you were still uneasy.

“Hey, love,” Roger’s soft voice hummed through the wide room.

“Not now, Roger.”

“Yes, now,” he insisted stubbornly. You frowned at him, still holding your camera.

“What happened?”

“My mom called.”

You were met with confused silence from Roger.

“She said I’m living in a dream, that I can’t stay here forever,” you sighed. It seemed this sentiment had not occurred to Roger either, and his face fell. But after a moment of thought, his eyes sparked.

“Maybe not, but that’s not the end of things. We can make it work,” he told you, looking hopeful and a little excited. You frowned at the floor, then at the Nikon in your hands. Before you realized what you were doing, you pulled the camera to your face. It created a barrier, gave you some control.

But through the lens, you saw Roger sigh and step nearer to you. He reached out and gently pushed the camera down, away from your face. You frowned, refusing to make eye contact.

“Don’t hide. You were so certain before. What happened to that?” His voice was low, gentle. It made you want to cry again.

“My mom,” you answered bitterly, looking him in the eyes. But Roger was confused, and stayed silent.

“She’s got a point, Rog. We’re living in a bubble. Eventually, I’m gonna have to go home, and you’re gonna have to tour.”

“Well, she’s half-correct,” Roger admitted. You frowned, unsure of his meaning. “You’re gonna have to go home at some point. And I’ve got the band. But,” he continued, pulling your camera out of your hands slowly. He set it down on the chair next to his guitar, then returned to you.

“That doesn’t mean we’re living in a bubble right now. This is happening.” He took your hands in his, squeezing them gently. You stared at his fingers, lost for words.

“Hey,” he pulled one hand away, and used it to tilt your chin up. The feeling of his fingers on your face sent tingles down your spine. You stared hard at him, trying not to be emotional.

“Please don’t be sad,” he urged. When you said nothing, Roger released your hands and crossed the room to your dresser. There, he smiled at the most recent flowers he’d given you. They sat in a blue vase, next to your pictures. But between them, sat an old radio. It was a little dusty, having gone unused in a house full of live music.

But Roger turned it on, and tuned it to the first clear station he could find. The small speakers crackled to life, filling the attic with a slow, bluesy song.

I’ve found my thrill On Blueberry Hill When I found you

“Dance with me,” Roger told you, holding out a hand and doing a ridiculous bow. You rolled your eyes, but felt the sting of anxiety fading. So you took his hand, and put your other arm around his neck. Roger was a decent dancer when he wasn’t trying to act a fool, and he guided you in slow circles across the room.

The moon stood still On Blueberry Hill And lingered until My dream came true

The lyrics were sweet, comforting. The melody, coupled with Roger’s fingers drumming softly on your waist, turned your mouth up at the corners. And, without warning, Roger began to sing along, swaying you side to side a little.

“For you were my thrill,” he sang, to your giggling. “On Blueberry Hill…”

You were smiling wide and bright by the time the song ended. Roger finished the dance with a small flourish, lifting your hand and urging you to do a small twirl. Which you did, much to his delight.

Roger grinned at you as he released your hand. You rubbed your arms, and stepped back to him. The next song began, an upbeat swing bop.

“Feel better?” He asked, looking genuinely hopeful. You rested your forehead against his shoulder, prompting him to wrap his arms around you in one of his characteristically comforting hugs.

“Yes,” you mumbled into his shirt. Roger kissed the side of your head, still tapping the beat of the last song onto your waist.

“Good.”

“Thank you,” you pulled back to look at him. Roger answered with a peck to your lips, and a wide grin.

“Any time, love. Can’t have my girl worried.”

Taglist:

@ceruleanrainblues @pietrorunsforme @isabella-bby @todorokis-nipples @killerqueenbucky @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank @kenzie-belle @shewantstobreakfree @ishouldbedoingalright @fangirlpterodactylnoises @itssaje @aceslytherinpan @youmakeme-wonder @smilinghardy @dreamer821 @musicprincesslikestorock @fangirlcore @loveofmyloif @mydogisthebest @onevisionliz @benn-seguin-1491 @happy-at-home @rogerinaismyqueen @imamazzellhoe @strawberryfields-forever @letmelivetaylor @boozeleatherandstache

[forgivemyevilsins]

Sit your ass down, lemme talk bout my first concert experience

Guys so ytd was Party Baby in SG and i rmbed rushing to buy the tickets and i got the center stall which was nice and i was at a decent distance away from the stage. Then,i went really early ytd which was arn 12+ when it starts at 7.30(i basically went directly from school) Slowly but surely, more people started to come and fansites also arrived and they were having giveaways. I talked to a fellow fan and we just stayed tgt while checking what giveaways there were. As it drew closer to the concert, more fans were crowding arn the entrance of the place and it was really crowded and i was pretty worried that we were disrupting the place since the concert was held at a tourist hot spot basically the Mastercard theatre in Marina Bay Sands(we crowded outside thr) When the time came, we went in,queued for our autographed album,went to our seats and waited. Opening act came in, it was lit guys i just started to jam with my lightstick and all. He was really good! Then,when the counter started to count down, everyone started to get more excited.

 They came in, everyone was screaming(?) I was more of shouting since i knew screaming would immediately hurt my throat.they came in and then the lights and all the mist, it was actually rly hard to get a clear view of them but i was shouting along trying to fanchant as much as i can(i normally prefer to sing the whole thing somewhat).I didnt know who to focus on tho, i wanted to look at everyone so my eyes were flying everywhere. The thoughts that came to me was they are real, they are infront of me rn. When they finished performing the first section, the lights turned on and i could see them in their glory. They greeted us with singlish(they tried) except for yongguk. my mind just kept chanting they are real and infront of me,  these bunch of flawless perfect humans.What did i do to deserve them,i dont fking deserve them. and thats how i got fking emotional and i felt my eyes gettin teary the more the concert went on 

The lounge talk was nice, it was chill and all and the girl that got on stage was so lucky. I was so fking emotional for the whole thing my god just thoughts of seeing them right there and the fact that i dont deserve them, like i felt tears in my eyes and my face scrunching up, the feel when you are gonna cry but i didn’t but i was still jamming and all and at one point i was so hyped i swung the lightstick abit too much and hit the person in front of me, i immediately oh shit im so sorry I really hope she didnt get hurt by that. When it was coming near the end it was so fking fast i didnt realise at all. They kept lying tho, they were like this is our last song then after awhile they came back in. stop playing with my heart. There is this one part where Daehyun pointed at me and smiled while he sang and all (it was in my direction it could have been for anyone else but lets just pretend that he pointed at me) during Be Happy(if im not wrong, i dun rly rmb everything is so hazy)

I was smiling throughout the concert honestly like this fun, i havent had in awhile though it was emotional as well like after seeing them on screen for so long… Oh and they performed 1004 which is like one of my fav songs so i was rly happy and Youngjae got teary at the last stage with you which made me even more…

ok but there was a feeling that came to me, like idk is it because im so socially awkward and i can only be open arn people im close to but there was this foreign feeling, maybe cuz i only started to really stan them in like 2015 and its my first time seeing them live or its the realisation that im just a fan out of many and there were many other fans that were like so open and playful with them and were with them longer than i have and even learnt korean and all while i was waiting for the translator which apparently translated wrongly but i take what i can get. I mean no matter how much i love them and all, they are still strangers that you only just somewhat know. I guess seeing them live just made sure that we indeed are strangers.(ok that took a sad turn)

And the most important, the Hi touch. Guys guys i fked up like i entered, saw them up close and i could see how smooth their skin is, zelo was first so seeing him in all his tall ass,cute face glory, i dazed out,i honestly dun rmb the in between just hi-fived,thanked him and left. next was himchan, he had his hand down so i hi-fived him and looked up,made eye contact and fuck he was beautiful and then i completely blanked out, i wanted to tell himchan i love him but i fking blanked out after seeing his handsome af face and then sadly he didnt smile at me maybe just maybe cuz i fked up. Then i just continued on(my legs just moved on its own) in a daze, i dun even rmb whether i thanked youngjae and jongup, i dun even rmb their face during the thing cuz i was in such a level of dazed though i did rmb yongguk since seeing him smile his gummy smile in front of me kinda snapped me out of it for awhile, he gave me a small smile and nod combo and then daehyun, he was at the end of the line and he was so cheery with his smiles and eye smiles and i snapped out of it when he said bye and i quickly said an ‘i love you’ to him but i was already moving forward alr. My left hand is blessed now

But im so happy i could get to see and hear them live and all and this was my first concert tbh, everything was moving so fast and i feel like at least i accomplished something finally since i was nvr a fan of crowds and all. I know this was so long but thks for reading my first concert experience with B.A.P

[astormyjet]

December 28th 2016 - March 12th 2017. Hiroshima Part 2, New Year, A Visit From Some Old Friends, Birthdays and a Few Long ‘See-you’s!’.

Opps. I got lazy. What else is new? As per usual a bunch has happened since I last wrote. Things got busy basically as so as I started back after Winter Break and I haven’t had time to think. Or sleep properly. But hey, that’s being an adult right?

On the 28th I got on the Ferry and took myself to Hiroshima for a few days of shopping and just wandering around. I met up with an old Uni friend and her sister. We went out for dinner on my first night in the city, I took them to the big Okonomiyaki tower and then Hannah and I walked around the Heiwadori Illuminations.

We hit the Itsukushima Shrine on the 29th and I climbed up Mt Misen from the top of the Ropeway station. I had taken like three steps into the bush track when two Pheasants ran out in front of me. I nearly had a heart attack because at first I thought they were snakes, because all I saw were their tail feathers, but then they started clucking at me/each other and I spotted the rest of their bodies as they bolted up the hill. The view from the top of the mountain was pretty amazing. It would have been better if it had been a clear day though. There was snow on the mountains on the mainland, but the sky was pretty grey and you couldn’t see out to the other islands as well as you can when the sun is out.

On the 30th we got on the Ferry and came back to Matsuyama. We climbed up to the Castle for the sunset and then I took them out to my fave Izakaya. I think we went our own ways pretty early that night in prep for doing stuff the next day. On the 31st they explored Matsuyama a bit, and I sorted my life out before meeting them at their hostel. We watched the Kouhaku (Red and White Singing Wars) together with the other guests in the house plus the lady who was in charge. At a little before midnight we went up the road to a wee pub behind the Dogo Onsen and saw in the new Year with a beer, and then we climbed up the stairs to the Shrine on the top of the hill for Hatsumode.

On New Years Day Hannah and I met Jiovaane and a few other ALTs to go “Fukubukuro” shopping. Basically this is when you get to the mall as soon as it opens and the go and buy a pre-bundled lucky bag from a shop. You can pay anywhere from 1000yen to over 20000yen for a bunch of stuff. I got bags from Right On, Village Vangaurd and a sports store. I basically paid 25000yen and got over 40000yen worth of clothes and home goods. It was a cool experience.

Hannah left on the 2nd or 3rd and I celebrated my birthday on the 4th. I’m 24 now apparently. Probably should start planning what I’m going to do with my life from now on...

Nothing much other than work happened between then and the Tsubaki-Matsuri on the 3rd-4th-5th of Feb. I went down with my mates on the 4th. A bunch of my students were there and said hello. A group of my third-year JHS kids stuck around and tried to figure out what we were saying. During that weekend we went and saw a concert/live show that one of our Japanese friends was playing with his new band “Seaslugs”. It was pretty cool!

On the 11th of Feb, the Chuyo RA held a “Harry Potter” Murder mystery night which was a heap of fun. Props again to Jiovaane and his imagination for making the night enjoyable.

On the following weekend one of the other ALTs had a game night at his house, where a bunch of JET Program ALTs, Private ALTs, Eikaiwa teachers and University Students were massive nerds and played board and card games. We also ate a heap before going back into town and hitting the bar. The following night was also a game night, this time at Mat’s, as him and his girlfriend were getting ready to leave for travel. Both nights were a blast even if I was shattered by the end of the weekend.

On the 25th, my mate from Uni came and visited. She took me out to a wee station on the ocean front famous for it’s sunset. Shimonada was the name of the place. We got out there and enjoyed the view with a surprising number of other tourists. It was such a great day for it though. The sun was out and there was hardly a cloud in the sky. It was a bit hazy out towards the islands, but as the sunset drew near, it got easier to see out to where the islands were. There was lovely older couple who volunteer out at the station who made an effort to come and talk to us both. The old dude was super keen on photography and helped Misa out with a few cool angles and shots of the station and the islands. The Iyonada-Monogatari, a local sight seeing train, pulled up a little before the sun started to properly set, and everyone scrambled to snap photos of it. It was about twenty minutes after that that the sun started to do it’s thing. We snapped a few shots and then jumped back on our train to Matsuyama.

That night we went out for dinner and then walked into town to meet up with my mates. There was a birthday/farewell party on for Mat, Miku and Paul. It was a good night, albeit a bit sad. But that’s what happens when you live in another country. People come and go fairly regularly.

Misa and I went up to Matsuyama Castle in the morning and got some shots of the plum blossoms and the castle itself before we walked down to JR Station and parted ways. It was really cool to catch up with someone from Otago. It’s amazing how far everyone has come since graduation.

On the 4th of March I went and watched my Baseball boys play a game. Basically the pitcher had been bugging me to come and watch them play since I watched them lose a game at the fall tournament. This time they played fiercely and stole a last minute win. It was really neat to see how confident they’ve become since September. I’m hoping to catch the Girls Basketball team play next weekend. I havent watched them play yet, but a few of them have been bugging me to come watch since they heard I went to the soft tennis tournament to support their classmates there. Which is fair enough - and I am honestly looking forward to it. It’s really awesome that they want me there, and that even if the hate English as a subject, they’re not opposed to interacting with me in English outside of the classroom.

This Friday night, a bunch of us went and had nabe (hotpot) at Dillions in celebration of his birthday. Basically we cooked, ate, played card games and just enjoyed each others company. After how hectic the last few weeks have been, it was really nice. The food was fantastic too, Yukie made the soup base and it turned out really well.

Last night we all met at Pauls place for another game night/the actual birthday party for Dillion. We played Dixit (which is a fantastic abstract concept game), at a bunch of junkfood, watched a bunch of youtube and then got on our bikes and headed into town to continue at the bar. I got home fairly early bar.

Today I basically woke up and hit the ground running to get chores done before rolling out the door to do a bit of exploring. I finally stuck my head into the shrine by the castle park moat. It was super cute, and the lighting was really nice. There was also a part where you could hang over and photograph the fish from close up, which was really cool. I also went up to the big cemetery on the hill. I wanted to take photo’s of the cats that hang out there and live off of the offerings people leave. I found a few but wasn’t fast enough to get pictures. Still it was nice to get out into the sun and see parts of the city I hadn’t.

Basically in between the busy weekends, there’s been even busier weeks. I go to Karate twice a week from 7pm-9pm and I have a Japanese Lesson every Tuesday from 4.30-5.30pm. I study, clean and plan lessons on the other nights, so I haven’t really had much in the way of a proper break for a couple of months. Being this social really takes it out of me. Not that I hate it, I’m just not used to it after so long being a hermit Today was the first time in forever I had some time to myself and could ride my bike around for the sake of it.

I finished teaching my 3rd Year JHS students on Monday this week. I have one lesson left with all the other classes from ES grade 5 to 2nd year JHS. My ES kids have done so well over the last couple of months, the 6th graders surprised me with their creativity when doing the Momotaro unit of Hi Friends and also with their dreams for the future.

Graduation for my JHS kids is this week on the 16th. I’m going to cry so hard. I really hated teaching them last year, but something changed this year and they became really cool to teach. I think because I’ve known them for nearly two years now. that it will be harder than last year. ES Graduation is on the 23rd, but that’s not so hard as most of them come to the JHS. A couple of my favorites are leaving to other schools though, largely for special needs or sporting reasons. Which is really cool but sad at the same time. The teacher shuffle happens in April too, which will be interesting.

I’m going to Osaka South Korea with one of the other ALTs on the 25th of March. So I’m looking forward to that and the three day weekend next weekend. Hopefully the political situation will stabilize a little bit there so we’re ok.

This has been a bit drier/disjointed than the last couple of entries, but to be honest I am so tired. I just wanted to get everything down before I forgot it all and had some time to think.

[survivorathena-motunui]

Ep. 2: GOTTA SCRAMBLE ~ Benjamin

Alex just told me he needs a permission slip to tell me about his sexy ass because Nebraska

Amanda So in round 1, everyone (mostly) is hyped. Its the first all-returnee season. Its second chance. They all want to prove they are better than their first game.

On Taranaki, we have zero alliance chats, but there seems to be a connections between Sydney and Kevin. Kai is quiet. Jay is worried about Keegan. Keegan just wants to stay alive. And LA seems to get along with all, and is on nobody’s radar. Colin isn’t round much, but he was in the ER so its understandable. Zack? Who? Where he go? Nothing in his host chat. Havent heard from him since premier night. Bye Bye Birdie. 

On Kahitu, we have Drew, who is dangerous enough alone, but we also have Alex, who like, worships the ground Drew walks on. I am certain he is telling Drew the paths for the Rainbow Reef. Drew has 4/7 stamps in the first 3 days. I’m certain he is going to get the rainbow idol. Also on this tribe, we have Madison, who everyone is saying is super quiet and they wanna make her first boot, but in her confessionals she says shes just shy. We also have Ashley, who is in an alliance with Ale and Drew, JD, who is getting along with everyone AND found an idol with no clues, and Steven and Jack who have been quiet. Overall, this tribe seems more cohesive than the other, and it showed when they won the immunity challenge.

When results came out, Taranaki immediately banded together to vote Zack out, but it was a moot point, because Zack did not vote, which caused his to get his second strike and be removed from the game. Womp Womp _______________________________________________________________

LA JUST WENT ON A 3 PUZZLE RUN FOR THE RAINBOW REEF THAT MAKES 4/7 ON HER PRISM PASS AND IF SHE HAD ONLY PICKED JELLYFISH INSTEAD OF PLANKTON I AM CERTAIN SHE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE RAINBOW IDOL THE GIRL IS GOOD YAS FOR FEMINISM

Well Zack was medevaced for getting too many strikes. It’s kind of a shame but also I’m not too shaken up about it. It makes it a lot easier and less stressful! In good news, Kai and I now have a pact to never vote against each other. I’m not sure how loyal he really is but it’s nice to have that for right now. It may be bad of me but if I feel the need to flip on him I probably won’t hesitate. I think I can get Jay on my side if needed. She just seems like she doesn’t want to flop and I can use that. Other than that, I’ve got a pretty decent relationship with pretty much everyone in the game. I don’t want to jinx myself but for the time being I think I’m in a pretty good spot. 

Soooo Zack’s gone, which is cool and stuff. Amanda, always ready to rig this game against me, gave this UGLY fl*sh g*m* challenge from Orisinal. And boy do I have some news for you coming from the Kai Is A Mess Department™. So this morning Kai comes to me and is like ��we should make plans for tribal just in case” and I’m like “oh” and he’s like “you know in case there’s an instant tribal or something.” And by the way if this season has an instant tribal I will cry and after I’ve wiped away my tears I’ll be suing faster than you can call me Stacey Stillman. So Kai asks me who I’d want out, I say Colin bc he’s who I’ve talked to the least. And then Kai’s like “okay cool but what about Jay” and I’m screaming in joy and in fear because of this and I say “oh haha why Jay” and Kai, sweet Kai, he says “well she’s hosted before so she has an advantage over us.” And in that moment, I could hear the Kill Bill sirens go off in my head.

Visual representation of me at that very moment. And I think to myself…did he like not see my tribal question or is he like…planning to slit my throat later too???? But basically I just said to him “well that’s uh a good option but let’s wait until we lose yknow” bc frankly I don’t know whether I want Jay out at this point or not? Like I think (think) I can trust her but I don’t know how much that’s reciprocated. So uh, to cap this off: yikes!

Amanda So here is a shot of everyone’s Prism Passes currently

JD, LA, and Kai are all working on puzzles right now and can advance if they complete them in time. LA is the closest to finishing her pass and could very well get the Rainbow idol. She found 3 puzzles in a row yesterday, and if she can do the same today, she will get it. If she fails, I think Drew will. but we will see!

First of all, FUCK the Purple Stamp. Second of all, I looked back at the puzzles to see what usernames were they, and I found two: JayJoy and AlxCrks. Jay B and Alex C? Mayhapsbe. Jay was only one of the puzzle out of the four I’ve done, while Alex was on all of them I think? And that’s um not a good sign. So I need to hurry my ass up! 

On a side note I think it’d be funny to make a fake account and frame someone with completing the puzzles but I don’t know how well that would work or if people would notice but if I did do it I would choose to frame Drew in a heartbeat.

Okay well I now have like 3 of the stamps so like I ain’t even mad. I feel comfortable and I won’t lie I’m sort of targeting Jay B because she knows me from the past which could possibly end up working badly for me. I guess I’m also getting a bit ahead of myself considering we haven’t even done Immunity yet but it’s best to be sure I guess!!

Amanda So here are the current Prism Pass standings

LA and Keegan are so close! But Drew is working on the Red Stamp right now, and he’ got Alex and Ashley helping him out, so I’m pretty sure he’s about to get it. Which….. fine… I guess…. But I knew Drew does well in games. I want some underdogs to claim this prize! I’m hoping he misses on the blue stamp bc that’s the only stamp none of his alliance has, but he’s probably going to save his clue for help with that one. I love Drew. I honestly do. I just want some of my other faves to have a chance. 

SHIT GOTTA SCRAMBLE

WOOOO WE WON IMMUNITY. My tribe isn’t a total flop :’)

I wasn’t lying when i called Alex cute. Should I flirt with him to further my game? I have morals so no. But i have lust so yes. But i like confidence and looks myself so no. But i’m one thicc bih so yes. Do you see my dilemma?

So we just lost the 2nd immunity challenge. I’d like to say I feel comfortable but I don’t really think that’d be accurate. I am in an alliance with Alex and Drew, but we really haven’t talked much, I don’t know if it is only because we haven’t had a tribal or what, but hopefully we work well together. On the bright side I have almost found all of the prism stamps. I only need the blue and green stamps. I have a clue to the green location and Drew is getting the clue to the blue. Thanks to Drew I knew where the purple and indigo stamps were. The good thing is that he hasn’t been able to finish the puzzles within the 15 minutes so I am pretty sure I have a leg up on this, hopefully not a lot of people are far ahead, the idol could really help me in the future. 

WE WON! Yahoo, no loss after loss after loss. And I can’t be the second boot so SUCK IT SWITZERLAND. 

Kai and I discussed who we would vote out if we were to lose and we both sort of agreed on Jay. I sort of just threw out a name at random and he went along with it. I do like Jay so I’m glad we don’t have to vote her out yet. Let’s get the other tribe down some numbers before we have to keep cutting our own. I’m torn on whether or not I want a swap. On one hand I might be able to get swapped into a tribe with Drew and Ashley, both of whom I’m sure I’d be able to work with. But also swapping risk the chance of ending up in a minority and being picked off. Right now it’s some nice chill time while we hopefully watch the other tribe fall apart. A 4-4 split, followed by a 3-3 split and then rocks would be delicious chaos. But even a 5-3 split would be great to see. 

Amanda

told you (me)

So right now Drew and I are in a group called “Anti-First Boot Coallition” with Ashley. We plan on extending it into two groups. One with Steven/Ben/Myself/Drew/Ashley, and one with JD/Jack/Myself/Drew. This sets up Drew and myself really well. Also, both Drew and I finished with the rainbow idol today. He got it though and I shouldn’t be upset because he’s my ally. But at the same time, I’m the reason he got like two prisms and he only helped me with one, then told me that he had the rest of the passes AFTER he had gotten it. It kinda irks me, and it’s something he has that I don’t. I’ve also been playing both sides in that I’m telling Steven what’s going on, and I don’t believe Drew thinks I’m doing that. Drew thinks I’m completely loyal to him but Steven knows that I’m more with him than Drew. A lot of it comes down to me knowing Drew is dangerous and me knowing that Steven probably won’t turn on me whereas Drew probably would.

Um I did that!!!!! The entire other tribe can kiss my ass!!! Sooo unless Amanda’s evil (which won’t take me by surprise after all the LIES she’s fed me in this game) we’re not swapping next round so thank GOD. I’m not ready for this game to spice up, cause like the white part of me is allergic to spice. Hopefully we can keep winning, and hopefully umm I don’t get swapfucked when it comes. And hopefully I can get my hands on that Rainbow Idol wink wink

We won the immunity challenge ! Which I’m really thankful for since things seem to be sort of quiet lately. 

I really hope JD isn’t the first one to go on her tribe, I wanna get the chance to play with her. 

ALSO I FOUND LIKE THREE STAMPS IN ONE SEARCH. It’s probably the most iconic thing I’ll do this entire game. Which means I only need blue and yellow? I think, or maybe another but still I’m close. 

I’m worried if I’m this close that someone else is, or someone else already has it. I really hope not, cause this stupid idol is what sent me home in Taveuni. 

I’m probably getting voted out or being paranoid….you decide. I did the worst in the challenge which i didnt know it was possible to do that well in the damn game. And let’s be honest, me/Ben/Steven/Jack are all pretty absent in the tribe chat but who knows how active they are in PMs. I’m probably a goner which sucks but this could be my chance to turn it all around if I can manage to survive this tribal ;)

Me in Taveuni: *crawls out of my cave, hissing at my contestants* make confessionals it’s not hard Me when Amanda asks me: But is it really worth it Today I learned that the Rainbow Reef is full of disappointment and unfulfilled promises, a thing which I should’ve and I should be used if I wasn’t a flawed human. At this point the best thing that I can expect from the Reef is drowning.

WHICH ONE OF THESE UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS FOUND THE DAMN IDOL? I LITERALLY CAME TO THE PLACE WHERE THE IDOL WAS HIDDEN AND IT WASN’T THERE. THIS SEASON SINGLE HANDLY HAS GIVEN ME THE BEST LUCK IN FINDING ANYTHING AND I CAN’T EVEN FIND AN IDOL? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF PLAYER AM I THEN, IF MY LUCK ONLY TAKES ME THAT FAR?  

Me getting dragged into an alliance in this game without lifting a finger? It’s likely (it’s what I do in like every game honestly) and it’s happening. I guess that’s just the power of my social game, like Michele who? Anyway to be honest this’ll probably result in Kai sending Jay home. I still don’t know if he knows I’m a host but it’s not like I can ask him but hopefully he doesn’t find out if he doesn’t and hopefully some snake in our tribe won’t tell him oops. 

So I am now in an alliance with JD, Alex, and Drew. This is hella cute and I am so excited to see how well we do. I hope to go far with this group but as seen in previous games; Drew is a beast. Like he knows his stuff. And Alex might not still completely trust me from India (RIP) but I am starting fresh with JD! I am so happy to have met a new person and to be working so well with them so far