#i doubt she had experienced it as she was new in the beginning of s1

[juodojimirtis]

"It's easy to fall in love with a Warrior Nun. It's loving the Warrior Nun that's the hard part. They're never yours, and they never last."

Camila, baby, what in the fuck now? She spoke like she really knew. I guess, she probably watched Mary and Shannon. And, maybe she just knew what Beatrice needed to hear.

[foramomentonly]

3.08 Alex Meta

I don't usually do meta and maybe all of this will be a very, "Duh, Nat!" moment for you. But 3.08 was a huge Alex episode for me. I feel like I understand him on a totally new and deeper level, and I'm seeing a direct character line from S1 and to some of the questions and issues many of us had in S2.

Spoilers for RNM 3.08 below.

As I might have said ten thousand times previously, I relate to Alex a lot. His compartmentalization, his emotional distance, his seeming inability to correctly identify and name a damn feeling. Like, same, man.

But 3.08, in my opinion, completely blew that all up. Because Alex is pretty clear in his story: he has all the emotions, he just no longer feels safe acting on them. And when I think about Alex in the flashbacks we've had, that totally tracks. Teen Alex is a walking ball of emotions and he is not afraid to act on them. His whole vibe is "pissed at the world," which, valid. He's angry, so he punches Kyle. He's moved by Michael and his situation, so he offers to help. He unapologetically feels and acts on those feelings. He's in love, so he keeps seeing Michael even after the events of the shed (Rest on a Bloody Bed of Rusty Nails, Jesse Manes). Alex is brave and bold with his emotions and even though Jesse and others are no doubt giving him hell for it, he doesn't stop.

Cut to S1 Alex, who vacillates between wildly passionate, closed off, angry, ice king. He pushes and pulls with Michael and we don't really know why and it's an emotional whiplash that carries over into at least the beginning of S2. I always understood this as Alex not knowing his own feelings, acting in the moment on what he wants and later talking himself out of it, denying himself out of fear.

But that's not it, is it? Alex is fully aware of his feelings, apparently, he just doesn't see acting on them as safe anymore. He gets home and he runs into Michael and everything, all that love and desire is still there and his impulse is to act on it and he does, but his experiences have taught him that his emotions are dangerous. And if all he's ever done is try protect Michael, he does that by trying to lock his feelings for Michael away, pull back when he loses control and acts on them. He's still learning how to do this in S1, and that pull toward Michael is strong (cosmic, almost?) and I think that's where that back and forth comes in.

None of this is that new, though. What's new to me is the understanding that hiding/feeling/repressing emotions isn't instinctual for Alex! It's learned behavior, and not even from his time with Jesse, but this experience in war.

And let's talk about that story, huh? A lot of us assumed (myself included) that Alex's rigidity, his tendency to bulldoze over other people's boundaries and take charge is born of stubbornness, of believing he's always right, that he must be in control to feel safe. But what I heard Alex tell me in his story is fuck, no, he's knows how wrong he can be, he's failed on a massive level already, caused hurt and pain to himself and others. He's not a hero. He's a mess. (We all knew that. But a lot of us operated on the idea that Alex didn't know that about himself.) Everything he does is to avoid causing further harm and chaos in the future.

Obviously, he still does. I don't want to discount that. And he's still accountable for it. But I think it's significant that Alex isn't operating from a position of superiority after all (I mean, he probably still is a little, he's Alex, his class privileges are still there), he's operating more from a place of knowing how completely and utterly he's fucked up before and wanting desperately to avoid that in the future. And to him, a man who lives his whole life in extremes (fucking drama queen, I mean lol), the way to avoid that happening is to go in the total opposite direction. To push down his natural emotions, ignore his instincts because they can't be trusted (Which, hey, maybe that's why he's got Kyle on speed dial every time he has to make a decision!), and strategize the shit out of everything. And it scares the fuck out of him that Michael, the person he most wants to avoid experiencing harm or being put in danger, acts on feeling and instinct and all the things that Alex believes caused his own epic failure that cost literal life and limb.

I used to think Alex and Michael were opposites, one a live wire of emotion and instinct, and the other the keeper of approximately three feelings and he hates them all. But I think now that they are extremely alike. They're both driven by emotion, instinct, heart, but Alex has forced himself to ignore all that and think like a computer, and Michael still lives his life by his them, still inherently trusts them. I've always loved and admired that about him, and I think that's part of what Alex loves, too, even though it scares him.

There's a whole nother meta's worth of stuff in the episode of how Alex's journey to trusting and working with Michael as an equal parallels Liz's storyline with Rosa (Liz and Alex are so alike, I die!) and yet another about the phenomenal pattern of growth with see from Malex, and especially Alex, throughout the episode. For a literal, step-by-step breakdown, ask the incomparable @adiwriting very nicely, who went OFF in the best way about it last night in our DMs. Like she could draw you a diagram.

This episode just gave us so much. Damn. It wasn't perfect, of course, and I would have liked to see Alex and Malex's development and growth happen over the course of the season, not jammed a single episode. But I love what we got and what it's taught me is I didn't know shit about Alex, but I had a lot of fun learning.

End meta.

[stevesharrlngtons]

what i want.

roman godfrey x reader

summary: takes place in s1 of hemlock grove just after roman’s coma and the aftermath.  

word count: 3.1k

a/n: yeaaahhhh so i know this is st related but it felt more right to post this here over my marvel account? anyways, i just really really wanted to write for roman and this poured out of me yesterday (which is surprising bc i can’t remember the last time i wrote a fic all in one day) but even though i already know this is gonna flop, i wanted to post it anyway just for fun (: i hope you enjoy and if you do read, please let me know that you think!!!!

With an ear pressed to his chest and a hand cradling his neck, you counted the rhythmic beats of his frail heart.

He looked the same, felt the same, smelt the same; but the man we lay still below you wasn’t Roman. Not in the metaphorical sense at least. This man who’s lashes lay gently against the apples of his cheeks obscuring his large doe eyes, wasn’t your love. He was still and quiet and lacked the emotion of your Roman. Your Roman who could never hide how he really felt, who wore every feeling on his sleeve, unable to mask his emotion.

At least, always around you.

A soft french ballad played in the background as you hunched over his hospital bed in the attic of the Godfrey home. You could hear the faint scratch of the needle against the vinyl, more so when there was a lull between songs.

Heavy footsteps entered from your right and you knew before they reached you that it was Shelly to fetch you for school.

“I know, Shell.” You said quietly, like you might wake Roman from his restless sleep if you spoke any louder, “I just need a few more minutes with him.”

The tall girl loomed over you both, watching you stroke Roman’s cheek lovingly with your thumb, the rest of your nimble fingers still holding his thin neck.

She had never experienced the kind of unequivocal and palpable love that she did when she observed you and Roman together. She often wondered if all the tales of true love and soulmates that were regaled in some of her favorite novels were actually true? Because the way you looked at Roman, and the way Roman looked at you, could not be fabricated or faked.

After a long beat of silence, Shelly gripped her phone and typed out a simple message to you.

“I miss him, too.”

She could see tears forming in your eyes once more. Your eyes that seemed to have not ceased their perpetual filming for the last two weeks Roman had been under.

All you could was nod in response. When Shelly placed a dense hand on your shoulder, you silently wept.

It all felt so surreal. But Roman was always larger than life, you probably should have prepared for something like this. You were just so scared.

That night two weeks before, when he had come to you in the pouring rain, drenched to the bone, you had been scared then, too. Roman was dramatic, yes. But never anything like this. He trembled fiercely and his fingers twitched and his muscles rippled with fear.

He didn’t seem himself as you wrapped him in blankets and placed him in your bed to warm his icy bones. You had wound your arms around him as he cried into your neck, tears and snot streaking your skin as you soothed him the best you could.

“I’m ugly, I’m a monster, I am unlovable and disgusting.” He chanted between hiccups and deep intakes of breath, like he was under a spell.

“Please stop, please don’t say that. You’re not, you’re not, you’re not. I love you, I always will.” You whispered sincerely to him, beginning to shutter yourself at the uncharatieric behavior he was displaying.

He startled you even more when he grasped your wrists together with one hand and flipped you onto your back, meeting you with a fierce kiss before you could comprehend his actions.

It was all teeth and tongue and labored breathing as Roman pulled your strings in only the way that he could. Once he was inside you, he only became more brutal. It was more pain than pleasure as he looked at you with soulless eyes and his mouth agape. But everything Roman was, was good. Even now he felt like heaven.

When he had finished and pulled two orgasms from your body, he collapsed on top of you. You cocooned him with your limbs, whispering loving words and frightened questions as his body seemed to pass out from sheer emotional exhaustion, anchoring you beneath him.

The next morning, you were dressed in nothing but Roman’s cardigan and tucked underneath your duvet with no knowledge of his departure the night before.

It was only minutes after you woke that Olivia called to curtly inform you of Roman’s condition.

You placed your own hand, the one not holding Roman, over Shelly’s and squeezed it.

“He is so lucky to have you.” You said, swallowing thickly to look up and give Shelly a smile, “He loves you so much, I know he’ll wake just for you.”

Shelly knew you were trying to soothe her as well, something you had a knack for since you came into the two Godfrey’s lives. She appreciated it greatly, but wished you would let yourself swim and stop trying to make sure she stayed afloat.

“You, as well. He will wake for us.” Shelly typed and you squeezed her hand in a tight pulse.

“We can only hope.”

You dropped Shelly’s hand as she went to turn the music off while you kissed Roman goodbye.

“Where, today?” Came Shelly’s mechanical voice as the music ceased.

“His left eyelid.” You replied, standing up and stroking Roman’s porecelain cheek.

You had taken to kissing a new part of Roman each day as you left him. To cherish him even while his mind was missing. You were saving his lips for when he woke, hoping his subconscious would crave your mouth on his enough to jar him from his slumber. Roman was never quiet about his appreciation for your lips.  

“And tomorrow?” She asked.

“The other.”

As you sat in english class, you couldn’t help but feel Peter’s absence in the seat next to yours. With neither him nor Roman around, you felt off kilter. The boys had been going through a rough patch lately, but Peter was still your friend when Roman wasn’t looking. Giving you winks that would reply with an eye roll, and chatting between classes. You believed you could mend the fence between the two men by simply being Switzerland, but after the police incident, Peter wasn’t so sure.

But you and Roman were alike in many ways, you told Peter as much.

“You two will work this out. Even if it gets hard.” You say flippantly one day as you rummaged through your purse for a tube of lipgloss.

“Yeah? And how do you know? Are you an oracle and just haven’t told me?” Peter jokes as you take the cosmetic from your bag.

You remove the fuzzy doe-foot applicator from the pink make up with a loud squelch and smirk at him.

“Because not only do I know everything,” a swipe of the goods on your lips, “But, I always get what I want.”

Now, his absence along with Roman’s seemed to be significant. Connected.

And then you got a call.

And the ID almost gave you a heart attack.

You fled the classroom without the formality of an excuse. It wasn’t any secret that you and Roman were a couple, so some teachers had been far more lenient with you since he had fallen under. Thankfully, Ms. Day was one of them.

You ran from the class and around the corner for the veil of privacy before you picked up the call.

“Roman?”

“God, how I’ve missed your voice.” He said, punctuated with his melodic laugh.

You burst into tears, clenching your phone tightly in your sweating palm as Roman cooed to you.

“Hey, hey, no. No tears, baby. Too fucking hot to be sad, you know that?”

“I’m not sad, God no! These are tears of joy, of fucking relief.” You felt suddenly very fatigued from the worry and dread escaping your body at the sound of Roman’s voice, and slid down the wall to the grey linoleum below.

“Good, hate to think you’d forget about me after two weeks out of commission.” You could see his smile in your minds eye and your stomach twinge with love.

“You know I could never forget about you.” You replied, whipping your damp cheeks on the back of your hand.

“I’m glad. I was counting on it.” You can see his smirk now.

“Dick.” You laughed and he did as well.

“Eh, you love me.”

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

There was a silence and you wished so helplessly that he was in your arms. Your Roman. Not the still and sterile one. The one with a wicked tongue and a beautiful smile that he offered to you so freely.

It was in this silence though, that you heard the purr of an engine.

“Baby, are you in a car? Are you with Olivia?”

“Uh, no. Not exactly.” And the bubble of joy popped just as it had formed.

“Roman, where are you? Why are you in a car?”

“It’s nothing for you to worry about, my love.” He hummed quietly his adoration and immediately you knew what was happening.

“Put Peter on the phone.”

“How did you-”

“Just fucking do it, Roman.”

You could hear him curse, then the shuffle of the phone being passed between hands.

“Hey, (Y/N/N), how’ya doin’?” Peter asked, faking a calm tone.

“Let’s forget the goddamn pleasantries, Peter. What in the living fuck are you doing trying to track this wolf when Roman just rose from the dead?”

“Rose from the dead sounds a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“Does it sound like I give a shit?”

“Frankly, no. It doesn’t.”

“And what does it sound like I give a shit about?”

“Probably Roman not doing this right now.”

“Bingo, Fiddo. Now you either take him back to his house or I am coming to find you two and I promise you, I can be scarier than Olivia.” You hissed into the receiver, looking around to make sure no rouge students in the halls were hearing your conversation.

“Oh I don’t doubt it. But this was his choice, (Y/N). Nothing neither of us can do anything to change his mind.”

“Peter, I swear to-” This time, you were the one cut short.

“Baby, listen,” Roman said after commandeering his phone back.

“No, Roman, you listen! I know you have some attachment to helping kill this thing, but now isn’t the time.”

“But it is. It’s complicated, but you just have to trust me on this.”

“I do trust you, Ro. I do. But I don’t trust whatever this thing is.” You sighed, leaning your head back against the wall, “Unfortunately I do trust what it is capable of. Which is a fuck tone pain.”

“I’ll be safe. I have Peter, Peter’s got me. I got this. We know what we’re doing.”

“Wish I could believe that.”

“Baby, I promise. I swear, even. We are gonna find some answers and then I’ll be home to you in one piece.”

You pause and Roman calls your name from the phone, his voice vulnerable.

“It’s funny. This morning you were in a coma and you were more safe then than you are right now.”

“I love you.” Roman says firmly.

“I know.”

Another pause and you know you can’t scold your way out of this one.

“Just… please call me when you get back. I don’t think I can take another minute of being away from you.” Your tears were beginning again.

“Me too. You’re all I can think about,” Roman sniffles, “I need you, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You both sit in silence on the line before Roman tells you he needs to go.

“Ok… but hey, Turner?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell Hooch to be careful. Both of you just… be careful.”

“Always.”

And the line goes dead.

After school you debated going straight to the Godfrey residence to wait for Roman to return, but decided against it. You weren’t sure exactly what Olivia knew and didn’t know, and didn’t feel like being alone with her while you figured it out.

So, you waited anxiously in your bedroom, doing everything possible to quell your shaking nerves. You had a perpetual tremor in your body as fiddled with your phone to try and distract yourself. Which was partly true, the other reason your phone was glued to your palm was so you would know the second Roman contacted you.

Though, as the sun descended in the sky and the night sky spanned for hours, you were becoming more restless. Whatever Peter and Roman were doing was no doubt dangerous and time sensitive, and it made you sick that it was nearing midnight without any word from either boy.

As the night continued to wear on and your mind ran away from rationality into an amalgamation of pure fear and absurdity, you decided you couldn’t sit around anymore. You weren’t going to wait for Roman to call and tell you he was home safe. You were going to drive to his house and wait for him there, and if he wasn’t back in an hour, you’d go out looking for him yourself.

As you put on a pair of house slippers and a sweatshirt over your nightgown, your phone vibrated on your vanity. Your heart began to speed up in your chest as you rushed over to the table and picked up your buzzing phone. On the screen was a text alert from Roman, with only one word present:

Come.

And you didn’t need to be told twice.

When you arrived at the Godfrey’s, you fled your car so quickly you almost forget the keys in the ignition. You ran up the front steps and banged both fists on the door needing to use your excess anxiety and adrenaline for something. And while you didn’t want to face Olivia’s wrath, your judgment was clouded by the chance of seeing Roman, alive and well.

When Roman finally opened the door, you wasted no time throwing yourself into his arms. He stumbled at the impact of your embrace, but was quick to remedy his shock by wrapping his arms around you. The feeling of this made your throat constrict.

“Jesus fucking Christ I missed you.” Roman all but growled as he firmly smoothed flyaways from your hair and placed his strong hand on the back of your neck.

“You have no idea how much I missed you, Ro.” You said, voice thick with tears as you began to pepper kisses anywhere you could reach.

Neck, jaw, ear, temple, cheek, shoulder, trap, clavicle, repeat.

Roman groaned appreciatively in your ear as you covered him in your lips.

“You scared me half to death you know?” You said between kisses.

“I know, I’m sorry. Things have been… odd. I still can’t remember it all.” Roman says, his tone confused.

“Well, Olivia said-”

“I know what she said. I just don’t know if I believe it.”

You furrowed your brows and tried to wiggle in his hold, silently signaling for Roman to place you back on your feet, but he only gripped you tighter.

“Not yet. Just, stay a while.” His voice wavered.

You finally pulled back to look at him, his eyes red from tears and shadowed. Sometimes it was difficult to look at him, his beauty and pain were just too much.

“I’m staying, Roman. You couldn’t get me to leave if you wanted to.” You reply.

A wash of emotion washes over his features as his lip quivers and his eyes attempt to blink back tears. You opened your mouth to try and alleviate him of whatever he was feeling when his mouth crashed to yours.

You forgot how good his lips felt against yours as your mouths meshed together. The velvet of his tongue and the mint and smoke on his breath. His hands gripping you everywhere as he pressed you impossibly close, moaning into you with deep primal noises sounding from his chest.

“Roman, baby,” You pulled away for air and Roman promptly moved his attention to your neck and clavicle. “I need you. Take me upstairs, I can’t wait any longer.”

Roman groaned and bit you hard on the shoulder before hitching your legs higher on his hips and running you both up the winding staircase behind him.

Bruises, at the behest of his mouth and fingers, littered your body as you lay on Roman’s chest as you both still reeled in the blissful aftermath of your climaxes. Roman’s fingers idled along and spine while his unoccupied hand rested behind his head.

He had begun to tell the tale of his night, of Peter and the turn and Chasseur and his mother. He told you Peter was upstairs unconscious and that he was unsure what was going to happen when he woke.

“So, after all this, everything’s still shitty? Is that what you’re saying?” You muttered.

“Essentially. But I have hope… we’re going to figure this out. I know it.” Roman nodded, like he is reassuring himself more than you.

“Me too. You two are smart,”

“You flatter me.” Roman chuckles and looks down at you.

“Just trying to butter you up to get into your pants.” He laughs again and slaps your ass.

“Clearly it’s working.” He replies.

“Well that, and I always get what I want.” You say with a content smile.

Roman hums, “Don’t I know it.”

“You enable it.”

“Again, I know.” He kisses your forehead and you burrow closer to him.

You two lay in silence a bit longer before he sighs.

“I think we should move to sleep in the attic. Just in case something happens with Peter and he needs us.”

We. Us.

The small implication in his word choice makes you smile and once again fall under a wave of emotion, just so happy that your Roman was back to you.

You don’t know what you had done if there was no we or us with Roman any longer. But you choose to not fixate on the past.

You just nod and kiss the underside of his chin. Roman gives you a small grin and begins to get up. As you do the same, Roman throws you one of his white button downs, giving you a stern look as you raise an eyebrow in question.

“Just put it on. I got two weeks to make up for, baby. It started with reuniting, then fucking, and now you in my shirt.”

You try to hold off the wide smile that was threatening to take over your face and put on the shirt, buttoning it to just above your cleavage.

“Yeah? And what’s next?” You ask, watching Roman round the bed toward you.

“Sleep.”

Now in a pair of threadbare silk pajama pants and nothing more, Roman extends his hand to you.

“Shall we?”

“We shall.” You reply, taking his hand, weaving your fingers as he led you to the attic.

i hope you enjoyed even though it was for a different show!! and if you did, pls i’d love some feedback (:::: also let me know if you would possibly want another roman fic bc i have other ideas lol

[justlikeeddie]

hey so look okay here i am standing shamefaced outside your door asking you if you wouldn't mind sharing or re-linking if you've shared before the names/numbers of the handful of spn episodes you've watched so i can get a slightly more informed flavour of the show when i inevitably capitulate to reading fanfic without giving up too much of my finite time on this earth to watching multiple seasons of supernatural.

GOOD NEWS - here are All Ten Episodes of SPN I Have Watched So Far, In The (Correct) Order I Watched Them. They are also rated for gay angel content, which tbh is mainly what I’m watching for, for the benefit of anyone else who may be in a similar situation.

15x20 Carry On - I maintain that watching the finale of this show first is the funniest thing you could possibly do, if you’re happy for it to be a completely incomprehensible experience. Witness Dean getting nailed to death. Cas content: 0.5/10, for one line in which his memory is briefly invoked at some kind of pie festival the Winchesters are attending

1x02 Wendigo - I only watched this because I was coming off a Due South jag and I thought it was funny that Callum Keith Rennie was in a very early episode. This is probably only worth watching if you too want to check in on how Callum Keith Rennie was doing c.2005, and/or if you are interested to see what the two leads looked like before they became the exhausted 40-year-olds in most of the gifsets, though I imagine there are probably better S1 episodes to do that with, not that I know what they are. Cas content: 0/10

4x01 Lazarus Rising - this is the Castiel introduction episode, although he only shows up in the final scene, and most of the rest of it is prime Men Stand In Rooms Talking To Each Other. When he shows up it’s good though. Cas content: 5/10, and all 5 of the points are for making the line “I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition” somehow even more intense than it looks written down

10x05 Fan Fiction - I maintain that trying to understand the first 200 episodes of the show by skipping to the one in which a girls’ high school puts on a musical summarising everything that has happened so far is the funniest thing you can possibly do. This episode is stupid, but I do recommend it, if you can stand to hear the word “Destiel” come out of the mouths of the actors. Cas content: 2/10, in that he isn’t in it, but he’s being played in the musical by a teenage lesbian, which seems Right

4x16 On The Head of a Pin - watched this in an attempt to watch “a good Cas episode”, although the (interesting) conceit of Cas experiencing doubt for the first time was overshadowed by the discovery that this show thinks that the way angels fight is that they just punch each other. Sure. Cas content: 6/10, not enough interaction with Dean, but strong points awarded for the beginnings of a crisis of faith and also being forced to his knees with a bloodied face

3x11 Mystery Spot - @the-omnishambles (who watched the first few series of the show in the 00s) kept telling me this was the one good episode she could remember. This was literally the first episode I thought was great from start to finish, and the knowledge that this show is capable of an episode that is good all the way through makes almost every other episode so much more of a shame in comparison. Anyway, this is a Groundhog Day conceit and it’s genuinely very funny. Cas content: 0/10

4x02 Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester - I thought that since Cas didn’t do much in the first episode of S4, maybe he started doing more in the second episode. He doesn’t, and this episode is boring, apart from literally the final scene (again), when Cas shows up to tell Dean he should show him some respect, which - according to most of the fanfiction I’ve consulted - sends Dean sexually insane. Cas content: 4/10, and all 4 of the points are for nobody realising they should have cut this scene if they didn’t want billions of words of Dean being dommed by an angel to exist on the internet

4x06 Yellow Fever - this is another silly episode, because by this point I was getting the hang of the fact that the silly episodes seem to be the most watchable. Dean gets a ghost disease (?) that makes him scared of everything. It’s pretty funny. Bonus points for a scene where he is hit on by a (male) deputy sheriff for literally no reason. Cas content: 0/10

5x03 Free To Be You And Me - this is the “Bert and Ernie are gay” episode, in which Cas shows up in Dean’s bathroom because Dean is The Only Person Who Will Help Him, and Dean agrees to help him but also insists on being present for his first sexual experience. Seems a bananas decision to make Cas very awkward about sex - rather than just uninterested in or intellectually curious about it - if you don’t want to make it clear that angels can fuck, do fuck, and might want to fuck Dean. Also seems a bananas decision to have Dean appear to fail in his extremely solemn promise to get Cas laid, if you don’t want to make it clear that he presumably just had to sort Cas out himself in the car afterwards. Cas content: 8/10, two points removed for not showing whatever happened in the car afterwards

5x04 The End - this episode was the second one that I thought was good from start to finish, so honestly it’s great to know that the show managed this at least twice in the 320 chances it had. Anyway, in order to convince Dean to do what heaven wants him to, another angel projects Dean into a vision of a nightmarish, post-apocalyptic future in which Dean has become a ruthless killer, Sam has been possessed by Lucifer, and Cas has got into yoga, orgies, and weed. I thought at least some of this was a joke every time I saw it referenced in a shitpost, but it isn’t. Cas content: 9/10, point removed purely because he’s not in the whole episode, but he’s high, sad, and dressed in a big baggy shirt when he is. Bonus points for the canonical creation of a self-contained AU for people to write depressing but very explicit fanfiction about. Extra bonus points for the insanity of airing this episode directly after the Bert and Ernie one.

[rinharu-purple]

Hi, nice to meet you!

As a fellow Gavin stan, I found your analysis quite interesting and I'm very happy that someone finally understand the other side of our ginkgo boy... Idk whether you play in CN server or MLQC. I'm just curious, what do you think of Gavin in S2? Because I hear that everything is gonna be different. Also, the latest main story in CN server--do you think the story will be more angst?

Thank youu..

Waiting for more analyzes from you ❤

Dear Anon, 

Thank you very much for your kind words and I’m also happy to meet you ^_^

Please excuse my belated answer. I waited specifically for cheri’s translation of the S2 CH11, so that I could give you a worthy answer <3

I play MLQC, because I don’t understand Chinese (yet), so I am following @cheri-translates on a daily basis for the season 2 material. (Thank you cheri, you’re the best! (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc) )

From what we get so far, Gavin shows some differences in his aura and character in S2 due to two main reasons:

1) He didn’t have the extreme teenage drama from S1 (except for his mother’s passing)

2) He and MC were companions during high school, so their relationship has a healthier fundament.

The events of the second season take place in a “parallel universe”, therefore MC’s relationships vary from those in S1. But also the Loveland City they are in is a different one, with different players but also different villains. So things DO change in S2 in general.

What do I think about Gavin in S2?

I - AM - IN - LOOOOOOOVVVEEEE - WITH - HIM!!! <3 <3 <3

Gavin was the main reason I watched the anime and downloaded the game in the first place. He was a very caring, understanding, talented and *ehm extremely good looking guy. He still is btw. This guy has a very big heart and is the most human among all LIs if you ask me. But sometimes I had the feeling in S1, that he wasn’t reaching to his full potential. His love for MC was at times awkward, mainly because he doubted himself a lot and was underestimating himself in many topics with regards to MC. His past with his father and brother was also weighting on him big time. Thus affecting his actions to a great extent. Gavin’s potential was bound by ball and chains and he didn’t seem to be able to free himself from them. And yet, he was a resilient guy, who made peace with his past, always finding the love&faith in his heart and following his own path. Those unnecessary insecurities caused by his experiences were Gav-babe’s downside in S1.

In the second season, we meet a very self confident Gavin who doesn’t get worked up in front of MC easily, let alone shy away from her. On the contrary, Gavin is teasing MC shamelessly and even toys around with her as he lets her hover over the ocean. Would you ever think that S1 Gavin would dare to do that? :D He interrogates her just for the kicks even though he doesn’t suspect her one bit, or asks her if he should detain her, since she looked like she was asking for it (I really recommend you to read the scene in CH11). Gavin is carefree towards MC and this makes him unbelievably attractive. Sure, I was surprised at first as I saw him immobilizing MC after meeting her for the first time after many years and was afraid, that he would be hostile towards her. Thankfully, this wasn’t the case...so far.

In S1, Gavin and MC were already in a harmonious relationship and were moving forward side by side gradually. But they were also having difficulties in terms of protecting each other from harm’s way and hiding their dangerous missions or wounds from each other. Which didn’t go along with a healthy relationship, even though they came a long way by the end of the S1. Plus, their positions weren’t even equal in respect of being a couple since Gavin was quite the simp and was insecure at times about his interactions with the MC. There was a teenage Gavin in him, who was telling him that he wasn’t good enough for her, that he is useless, that he is worthless. Therefore he always had his gloves on, so the speak.  

These insecurities are downed to a minimum in S2 and Gavin no longer has the self loathing inner thoughts, so it feels as though, he is the real Gavin. The Gavin who he could be, he should be. Up to this point (S2 CH11). I feel like we are watching a Gavin who’s reached, or is reaching, to his full potential. 

In S2, we see him co-operating with MC right from the beginning with little reluctance at first, which is natural since -you know- they are working for the opposing sides. But then we saw in CH11, that they make one hell of a team! In all honesty, Gavin and MC don’t even need to talk to each other to understand what the other thinks. We witnessed many times in S1 when they were thinking/saying/doing the same thing at the same time. But this time, they are aware of the fact that they can see through each other without words. Moreover, they banter with each other by calling one another out. Which is mostly Gavin calling her out btw. This almost flirt-like sweet bantering makes their interaction all the more titillating to me. The chemistry between them is very evident and Papergames makes sure to let us producers know, the attraction is mutual and on equal grounds. Maybe its only my opinion, but I find S2 Gavin way more sexier than the Version 1.0. But its probably because I find self-confidence to be the sexiest trait a person can have. 

On a side note, Gavin also doesn’t display jealousy as in S1 and I believe this also has to do with his self confidence. Jealousy is an emotion which arouses from lack of self-confidence and trust. And the level of trust Gavin and MC share in S2 is off the charts, dare I claim.

One might even say, that the tables have turned in S2. MC has her memories from S1 whereas Gavin has started having flashbacks or dreams about their past just recently. Because of that MC already carries her romantic feelings from S1, she is the one with denser emotions in the new chapters and is rather insecure in front of Gavin. Thus making herself vulnerable for his “toying sessions”. Gavin on the other hand is beginning to explore his heart’s desires towards MC only piece by piece. He cares a great deal about her and is drawn to her inevitably, but can’t quite put his finger on it. His body and soul is already reacting to her, but his mind is a little bit slow on this front. But as stated in R&S “Inevitable”, his heart is destined to get drawn to hers. 

Whether the story is going to get angstier...Let’s not fool ourselves, Papergames has the word angst in block letters carved in marble in their office. So yeah, I am pretty sure that the story is going to get angstier. But I haven’t seen anything as angsty as in S1 CH13, 14, 15, 18. Those chapters were really hard to read, but let’s wait and see.

Another important point about Gavin’s character in S2 is related to his position. He is now the Commander of the STF and therefore carries a heavier responsibility than in S1. We see in every chapter how strategically he is acting and picking the best option in which nobody gets hurt. He is still a maverick and does things in his own way and yet he is now well aware of the fact that each of his actions are affecting great numbers of people. With his subordinates he shares special bonds all the while keeping them disciplined and whatever he does, he prioritizes everybody’s safety equally (only with MC as an exception).  Of course, this was one of his strengths also in S1, but in S2, he can have a bigger impact, since he has more resources to do so. He has become the perfect leader.

Which can be tied to his balanced temper. In S1 there were times, where Gavin wasn’t able to control his Evol and caused mayhem. We haven’t seen any uproar like this in S1 so far. Gavin is in control of his Evol, his emotions and his blushes...hih...well... almost. But he certainly blushes much less in S2. 

So to sum it up, yes, Gavin is different in S2, but in all the good ways and I couldn’t find anything that goes in the wrong direction so far. We have a more mature, confident and experienced Gavin in S2 and I can simply say:

AMEN

I hope my answers can help you with your questions and you can always feel free the contact me if you have any questions...be it anonymously or not.

Have a nice weekend dear anon! d=(´▽｀)=b

[korinthya]

-TRUST-

 Well this time I want to post about the trust between Thomas and Grace regarding business and life, and about the Russian issue in particular. Apparently this is also a matter of debate so I wanted to make my little contribution.

Some say since what happened in S1 Thomas stopped trusting Grace and for that reason he didn’t tell her anything about the business the Peaky Blinders had in S3.

The context with which the Shelby family begins that season, and which I interpret based on what they showed us in the series and the scripts, is the following:

The Shelbys enjoy possessing great economic wealth through their various businesses, legal and illegal. But they are the illegal ones that Thomas wants to get rid of once he has completed Churchill’s orders in exchange for saving his life in the previous season. And after that he pretends to be respected and accepted by the upper class.

Before Thomas and Grace come back from New York (a few weeks before 3x1) all the members of the family seem to have a happy life, something that hasn’t happened in a long time, two years that turn out to be an illusion, a dream life that apparently Thomas and the others enjoyed too long, because this is Peaky Blinders. The Russians, the new threat Thomas must deal with, make contact.

From that moment, Thomas is continually angry, his bubble has burst. Now, his loved ones are in danger, the Russians appear even at his wedding day because they considered the family as the weak point of every person. And as we know for Thomas the family is his greatest strength and weakness, but specially, his Achilles heel, was his wife and son (comments made in the official Peaky Blinders book), so I consider this season the most introspective of all of them from Tommy's point of view.

 Paul Anderson: `` If you ask Cillian what is Tommy’s weakness, there is only one: Grace. ´´

Tim Mieland (director of the third season) responds to Cillian Murphy if his character should cry after everything that happened with his wife and son:          `` Yes, why not? It’s the most vulnerable thing he will ever have in his life. ´´

Therefore, clarified the importance of Grace and Charles for him, it isn’t difficult to guess what Thomas really wanted was to protect them and keep them away from the Russians at all costs, the method that he chose for it, more successful or less, was ignorance. In this case, he pretended like nothing was happening so as not to alter or completely disintegrate the remnants of that idyllic situation that they had been experiencing for two years, although he was paying the consequences on a mental level.

And despite all this, he DOES want to share with Grace what was happening, but his fear of losing them was stronger so he didn’t want to connect her in any way with the mission. Here's an extract from the script of episode one:

If anyone still had doubts, here is another extract in which SK tells us through Grace that Thomas was trying to protect her after talking with him in their bedroom.

 Then another situation arises: Grace was unaware of her husband's partners at that charity dinner. To known them, the following would have to happen:

-Grace working for the Shelby Company:

• Thomas would never have allowed Grace to work once they were married and had a child (remember his scene with Lizzie in S4).

• Thomas also wouldn't want her to be part of family meetings where muddy issues were still being discussed (including his mission with the Russians). He doesn’t want to mix the bad part of business with the legitimate and honest future that he sees with Grace, imo, it isn’t a lack of trust but Thomas' point of view on how to carry out situations, you can agree or disagree with that.

-Thomas or another member of the family introduces them to her: taking into account the above mentioned and how Thomas' personality is, the last thing he wants to talk to Grace about is work when he gets home, much less unnecessarily. And I’d like to emphasize that he was very comfortable in his world of three, away from his current businesses, there’s a good reason when he got that tattoo and they showed us those scenes between them when he gives her the necklace or the three take a walk. And, that said, I doubt Arthur’d tell Grace anything when his brother doesn't, much less Polly, neither John (have these two ever spoken?) or Ada, who seems to be her friend but is very aware that Thomas doesn’t want to introduce her to any of that yet, an example is the scene at the charity dinner when she helps her brother save the situation.   Another extract about how Thomas is in the intimacy.

 Finally, several moments to remind us once again that Thomas consulted and looked for support from Grace throughout the seasons:  

3x3: Thomas finally shares with Grace the russian business because for him she is still by his side.

4x5: Thomas is looking for solace in Grace's portrait after killing Luca Changretta's men.

5x1: Thomas wants to clear his head after knowing the company has lost a lot of money and that’s why he takes opium, so he can see her.

 Conclusion: Thomas and Grace could not have reconciled due to trust issues or they could have divorced shortly after getting married or, or... The point is this  people managed to overcome their past rifts, demonstrating their mutual understanding and sincere desire to spend life with the other person, sharing both very similar aspects of themselves with the addition that Grace positively influences him through her emotional and moral support: Thomas planned to leave his criminal life behind (as he wanted from S1) to have a more honest life, and to be able to enjoy his family. They trusted each other, that’s why Steven Knight had to kill Grace, because they’d be happy and (according to him) Thomas wouldn’t have been so interesting. Without trust, a relationship will not last, much less they will be happy.

[novantinuum]

SU movie predictions

Okay, we may not have a trailer yet to go off of but trying to predict things is fun. (And it’ll be funny looking back later and seeing how epically wrong I was lol) 

So my predictions of what I think is realistically plausible to happen:

A Gem actually gets physically shattered/we learn what actually happens to Gems who are shattered

Okay, so this may be a little edgy but hear me out... this movie is 90 minutes. And it’s a movie. Some serious chaos gon’ have to go down to fill the time here. It wouldn’t surprise me to see the Crystal Gems caught in a more perilous situation than usual.

There’s been a lot of theories over the years that shattered Gems are actually still conscious. I think we might gain some more info on that.

I genuinely doubt it’ll be a big character. Prob a one-off character. If anything, just a scenario where the villain is showing the audience that she’s not here to play games. 

There are at least three songs.

Change Your Mind had three and it was only 45 minutes. With double the length, how many more might we see?

My bets are on Steven having at least one, an ensemble song, and p e r h a p s a bad guy song.

Steven and Connie get a relationship upgrade.

These two have such a close bond, and are so obviously smitten with each other that I’m kinda surprised it hasn’t happened already. But what better time for even further development for them than a movie?

There’s definitely gonna be a fusion.

I’ll be surprised if I don’t see some past fusion encores.

And what about new fusions? So many possibilities!

It will be set post Change Your Mind.

I genuinely don’t see the storytelling purpose of setting it before Change Your Mind, so I will be surprised if this movie isn’t set in between CYM and s6. 

I am, however, still unsure whether I think the plot events in the movie will be relevant to the wider arc, or a standalone threat.

The movie reveals a fairly significant remodeling to Steven’s house.

We know Bismuth repaired it while everyone else was on Homeworld, but we still haven’t seen the inside yet.

Perhaps there will be more doors in the Temple now, for the newest official Crystal Gems!

The villain actually isn’t ‘Red Diamond’ or related to the diamonds at all.

While those theories are pretty cool sounding, I’m beginning to doubt that we’re going to be dealing with more diamonds after having pretty much half of season 5 dedicated to rooting out the mysteries with the Great Diamond Authority. At this point, what the show needs is to stretch its wings into the greater ‘universe,’ and what better way of doing that than to introduce an entirely new Gem type? Or, heck- even an entirely new species. Let’s go hog wild.

Rose’s chest in Lion’s mane will have some relevance to the plot.

That chest is still a mystery, and I suspect it’ll be coming up very soon because Steven brought attention to it in late season 4. They started teasing the concept of Steven’s gem being removed in late season 3, and that came to fruition in CYM so... I think we’re coming up on some big answers soon.

At least Garnet and Peridot will be poofed.

Perhaps more characters will be, as well.

Basically, I have a feeling that the really wild visors these two got in CYM were more designed exclusively with that episode in mind, as momentous as it was. They were fun visors, meant to represent everyone’s unity as a Crystal Gem at that moment. I predict that future regenerations of these two will have mostly similar outfits, but with toned down visors.

We see multiple new Gem locations.

Self explanatory, really. I’ll be surprised if we don’t.

By the end of the movie, Steven finally goes through a well-deserved growth spurt and looks his age again. (Like an actual 14 1/2 year old.)

This whole show is about his coming of age. We’ve seen his emotional coming of age. We’re yet to witness his physical coming of age. Like buddy, you still look like an eight year old. XD

And logistically, when it comes to CN advertisement... featuring such a significant character design change (if it ever does happen) within a Big Event TV Movie as opposed to a regular episode would be a wise move. That way, more people are likely to watch it and know what’s going on later when they see that Steven Universe’s title character looks quite different now.

Steven and Co. use his leg ship to travel through space at some point.

The kid has his own spaceship now. The whole galaxy is now his oyster! We’re finally putting the Universe into Steven Universe! I do hope that’s a plot point they utilize well...

The Diamonds feature, and we get a glimpse into how Homeworld is faring post CYM.

Could be part of inciting incidents. Perhaps the villain is someone resisting changes there on Homeworld.

The plot is no longer restricted to just Steven’s perspective.

Rebecca Sugar said in the last episode of the SU podcast that the show, as it continues from here, would be quite different from s1-5, because the story s1-5 was telling is done. That story is, of course, Steven’s coming of age. We saw everything from his point of view, because it was his story.

Thus, I’m predicting that from here on out, it’s not just his story... it’s the Crystal Gems’ story. Perhaps there will even be episodes in the far off future that don’t involve Steven at all- focusing on other Gems or humans instead.

BUT as far as the movie is concerned... 

Normally in s1-5 every scene had to be either: something Steven personally experienced himself or within a fusion, a story that a character was telling to Steven, or some interaction Steven overhears/eavesdrops on. I think it’s likely that this rule will be lifted from here on out. Which means, we could see a conversation between, say, Garnet and Pearl that Steven is nowhere around to see. Sky’s the limits.

And some absolute spitballing that really doesn’t have much “evidence” or plausibility on happening, but that I’d think would be pretty cool anyways:

We see Rose’s last moments/Steven’s birth.

If they were ever to flashback to this, now would be the time.

Could be an interesting way to quickly establish Steven’s hybrid nature for any new viewers.

Another human/Gem hybrid exists.

And Steven meets them and takes them under his wing.

This could perhaps be linked to his physical coming of age. Perhaps the thought of this new responsibility... of watching over/helping show the ropes to someone... is what moves him to finally grow up. Shifts his mentality a little older.

[serendipitousrambles]

Was i the only that felt El was wrong at siding Hopper even when Mike explained himself and apologized for her dad forcing him to lie? And the fact that she never apologizes for betraying him by spying on him? His third apology at the grocery with El was even necessary at this point? He simply didn't had to anymore, it was her turn to own her mistake and apologize and not Mike for the hundred time for something that wasn't even a issue in the fisrt place "jealous of max" when tho?

part 2. It just kinda felt to me that Mike was way more invested in their relationship than Eleven, that he cared for her way more than she cares for him, and I hate the Duffers for writing such a shallow and generic mileven plot this season, and somehow that makes me even less excited for s4 mileven, hard to cheer for them, even Finn said that Mike didn't say the love word at the ending scene because he felt betrayed by her. Don't know what to expect from now on, mileven was ruined for me s3..

____

I politely disagree anon.

I think mileven this season have some of the best mileven moments of the show. Both of them were very invested in their relationship, El was clearly really upset that Mike wasn't going to see her even though she's seen him every day for 6 months. That seems quite invested if you ask me.

I don't think Mike felt betrayed by El? I haven't heard Finn say anything like that? But I think Mike was just shocked that she said she loves him. Because he had tried before but being an awkward 14 year old boy he struggles to actually say the word "love".

But she knows. She understood. (She always does) So even though he didn't say it back, she knows he loves her (hence why she said "I love you, too" and not just "I love you")

So like it or not... mileven is endgame. They genuinely are in love and care for each other in a way that maybe even some adults haven't experienced. (I sound like a broken record saying over and over again how mileven is so much more than a highschool romance)

As for El siding with Hopper when Mike told her he forced him to lie...I think El was just feeling hurt. From her point of view, Mike randomly lied to her about his nana being sick and then she finds him at the mall hanging with his friends. I actually think of Mike had just said he's seeing his friends El probably would have understood or not been as upset. But basically she's already had him lie to her. So from her point of view why should she believe him? He could be lying about her dad just to make him seem like the bad guy and get out of trouble. She kind of has a right to not believe him.

I'll agree that El should have apologised for spying on Mike, that was a bit uncalled for. But again she was upset and just trying to have some fun with Max. She did something wrong but she didn't do it with malicious intent. (But yes she probably should have apologised for spying).

Mike's apology in the grocery store was actually one of my favourite moments. He's being vulnerable and open with her, something he hasn't done lately. It feels very much like season 1 and 2 mileven. He was jealous of Max, he was used to having El to himself and suddenly Max comes along and El starts hanging out with her and dumping him. He's bound to be a little prickly about that. He hasn't been on the best terms with Max from the beginning and this probably didn't make matters any better. He probably feels vulnerable and maybe even scared that Max will make El think she deserves better or something.

He's an awkward 14 year old boy in his first relationship. He's not going to do everything right first time. It's new territory and they're both unsure how to handle it. But he was mature and talked to her about it. About his feelings. He opened up and it was one of the sweetest and intimate scenes of the season. I think it was necessary for them to both grow and I think their relationship is stronger now because of this and this scene is definitely proof of Mike growing and realising the truth of his feelings for El. He blurted it out that he loves her but I think in this scene is where it really hits home to him that he loves her. So that's why he apologises and tried to explain. (And awkwardly confess). I think he might have even gotten there (slowly and painfully) but Dustin interrupted.

I think in no way was their plotline shallow but deep and intimate. On the surface and in the first episodes maybe. They were attached at the hip and that maybe was shallow. But once they were apart they still sought each other out for comfort which returned to their bond from S1 where they're relying on each other in a very intimate way. They're seeking comfort and safety in each other's arms and I think that's a really strong, special bond. Not artificial or shallow.

Overall, mileven this season was everything I hoped it would be. I have no doubt that their relationship is stronger than ever now after being through all this. (They're offically in love as of the finale so....)

Sorry this post was really long

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep5: Happy Valentines Season the Writing Team Remembered YugixTea Exists

Alrighty, I’m mostly back together from nearly a week of the plague and now my buffer is basically demolished. Man. Youknow, every time I make a buffer this happens. Maybe I was just asking to get sick? That every time I finish a healthyish buffer my immune system just tanks in response?

Anyway, that’s fine because it’s been like a week now that I’ve been sort of wanting to talk about the massive amount of birds in this episode. Yeah, birds. I mean there’s no reason for me to try and hide the spoilers, I’m assuming 99% of y’all have seen this show. There were a LOT of birds.

Last we left off, Yugi decided to run headfirst into a trap door.

And then on the other side he was somehow amazed this was a trap?

Because there wasn’t either a mace or an ax handy to go through the wall like Tristan And Duke, instead Yugi has to end up in a Photoshop Filter.

Shoutouts to the overlay aurora borealis on top of this whole mess. This whole aesthetic here is just so nostalgic and I didn't even watch this show as a kid.

Man the 00′s were a great time. Speaking of great time.

We’ve had like 0 Joey for like 4 episodes and it’s been kind of incredible since this show leans pretty heavily on Joey. Like I have barely touched that mustard color in Photoshop, instead it’s been a lot of Tea, and I’ll be honest, about time. I have been saying for like 3 seasons now that this girl never has anything to do but be a ghost bus and a sort-of-not-really-gf to I guess Mokuba and sometimes Yugi but now she’s...still not doing a whole lot. I’ll be honest her new big thing is mostly running away from things, but at least now she now does Olympian feats while still doing nothing.

But all that’s gotta change because, much like Joey in S1, Tea’s gonna throw some cards with only like 2 games under her belt. 

So like, I was experiencing Witcher 1 the other day, and I don’t recommend it since Witcher 1 is not nearly as good as it’s sequels, but there’s this hilarious line where Witcher is gonna learn a dice minigame, and he asks his friend “how can I become a dice expert?” and his friend goes “Well that takes experience! Play 4 games.” and it’s like lol what? 4? That was all it need for ANYONE to be an expert, huh?

This is like that. Yugioh is a weird universe where Yugi is King of Games but he’s only been in one tourney and he’s only played this game professionally in a professional no-one-is-setting-anyone-on-fire setting like maybe 4 times.

Like everyone plays this game but the bar for entry is surprisingly low? All Yugi had to do was beat one guy by playing him once, really--just beat Pegasus and boom, King of Games. No wonder Seto was so freakin pissed.

Anyways, so the fact that Tea hasn’t really played is just like everyone else on this show.

(read more)

Anyways, after she ran 4 miles and climbed a bridge and all that, she decides, youknow what? Right here in this barren orc-filled desert is probably a safe place for a dream sequence.

And she dreams of the very last person I expected her to dream about.

So...I have questions about this dream sequence, ones that I will touch on later, but clearly Tea is getting some inception quality prophetic card knowledge from Yugi through a dream...however...Yugi isn’t actually doing anything right now. Right now Yugi is running through Tron so like...how is this happening?

Like is this just Tea actually knowing how cards work under layers and layer of subconscious? Because under layers and layers of Tea’s subconscious is actually SlightlyMoreOrLessEvil!Marik, who, as we discovered through last season’s plot twist is actually very, very bad at cards. Bakura might be still under there too, but he’s sort of everywhere just minding his own business so I doubt he’d bother coming out for Tea. Bakura’s still canonically dead/hanging out in Yugi’s Brain Labyrinth Game Room playing Gameboy Advance until Season 5.

I mean, it would be neat if Yugi actually could do this but like...he’s not actually here or at all aware that this is happening. Yes he has Ishizu’s necklace right now but will not use it this episode. This is just happening for no reason.

Which leads right into the second thing which is our most vague couple is finally going to get it’s own episode since like the beginning of season 2 and it’s literally all a dream.

Flashbacks to Yugi and Tea actually hanging out and talking one on one were all we really needed to stop calling this ship vague but eh this BARELY counts as it’s all one sided. This is just Tea doing all of this relationship herself. Which is pretty true to form as Yugi is a mess and can barely do relationships with himself at this point, let alone add a girl into the mix.

I feel like at this point a Broadway play about one single Yugioh card is waaaaaaay more likely than YugixTea ever like ever getting together (cuz like FOR REALS most Broadway is bad. Like legit not great). In fact, this make believe date they went on together is so far from reality--as it is not only a dream, but a dream in VR, and that even in the dream itself Yugi reminds her “PS, WE NEVER WENT ON THIS DATE, PS” and Tea’s like “that seemed open ended” and Yugi was like “NOPE.”

So this play is so terrible that it asks for audience participation and it turned her into a cosplayer.

So little aside, when I got my Netflix account the first thing I rented was Ironman, and then the second thing I rented, mostly out of morbid curiosity, was Cats.

Regrets. I like watching some pretty bad movies and plays but Cats is sort of like...if everyone dressed like personified leg warmers and made us pretend the leg warmers turned them into cats for some reason, and that the legwarmers were all in a polyamorous relationship with everyone else and got way too horny when they danced. And then they all died at the end/went to space/got reincarnated. But, I guess we have to give Cats some credit for basically launching furry technology forward like 50 years.

I am SUPER looking forward to the Cats movie. Probably will skip it in theaters but Netflix? Yes, please!

Anyway, Pharaoh was also here chaperoning these two like he always does although Tea has no idea what he looks like.

I just realized that, so far, every date we’ve seen with YugixTea, Yugi wasn’t even there. Like how does he keep managing to do this? The kid is managing this relationship like a champ being the supportive boyfriend or whatever and he’s not even there. Like damn.

A penguin.

so many penguins

Anyways, the animation team drew I want to say like 600 penguins for this episode. I just want to acknowledge their sacrifice for our behalf, so we could have this filler episode and watch an actual relationship blossom between Yugi and Tea but only in a dream sequence.

Because I notice art stuff like this, they did copy paste these penguins in a clever way so it wasn’t drawing 60000 penguins, but damn that’s still a lot of penguins.

My bro, the namesake of this blog, freakin loves penguins. So this entire episode he kept looking over at me and being like “right?! RIGHT!?” and it was like “wow, Bro they really made this show just for you huh?” and he was like “RIGHT?!?!”

So the thing about Crump is that he likes collecting numbers about people, which the show makes out to be strange but I have a bunch of accountant friends, and I once had one tell me that God was an accountant, and then he gave me some complicated explanation that I absolutely muted out of my memory. I once had a friend who had a fascinating spreadsheet on everywhere she lived and the friends she had, just to see if she could accurately display the percentage chance of who was dating, who was getting married, and the exact percentage of which of those broke up and the length of all of their relationships. And she was an art major.

I never saw those spreadsheets of love numbers, I only know they exist, and I have no idea where I stood on them. Sometimes I think about it. Is she still tracking me? I sure hope so.

Dude that one penguin on the right just

This show throws out the number 219 pieces of pizza like that was a bad thing?

I guarantee you, that eating 14 slices of pizza a year is a depressingly low statistic (assuming you don’t eat pizza when you’re 1 yo) That is only about 1.5 large pizzas a YEAR. That is nothing.

Course bear in mind I’m a Californian and I eat like...about 2-3 slices every time fast food pizza is offered me. And if I’m alone, well dammit I’ll eat.......more than that, we’ll just say. In fact, I just Marie Kondo’d my closet and found my college cookbook which was mostly me trying to replicate the CPK Thai chicken pizza as well as the CPK Pear Gorgonzola pizza (and may the CPK Pear Gorgonzola Pizza Rest in Peace, you perfect pizza. I have not returned to CPK once it left the menu. Bro hates this pizza but he is wrong.)

Like it sounds way nasty but I’m Californian so we don’t believe in food purity here. Put whatever the hell you freakin want on your dumb ass pizza. No food is sacred, no food will be left untouched, we’re all human beings, and everything you like is all going to be turned into pizza and tacos anyway. That is the way.

I’m pretty sure that I’ve only had 219 pieces of just Pear Gorgonzola Pizza (since it was a pricier pizza). Maybe Crump was just referring to the one type of zah?

Anyway, I got very distracted by pizza just now.

Tea heard Crumps offer to duel her in exchange for her body and she was like “I don’t really actually want to do that.” and just bounced.

I mean at least she tried to bounce. As it is, I’m glad Tea is like the only one here who at least has figured out that Cards are Dangerous.

And then an iceberg formed under her feet.

Meanwhile, Yugi has been sent to this room with four doors. Each door has a number of stars between one and four. Please remember he has Ishizu’s future necklace somewhere on his person and it could probably help him out but nah.

and then out of no where Yugi pulls this out of his pocket.

Another place where, because they localized the show to a ton of different countries, they decided to make a fake currency so people wouldn’t be thrown off by a Japanese coin and it only made the lore more confusing. He could have just used a Yen and I’m pretty sure us American kids would have been fine but localization problems amiright?

But yeah, there’s just this super random Millennium Penny that Yugi just has. To have. The redheaded stepchild 8th Millennium item no one remembers. Just like how no one remembers Bakura.

Now that I think of it, he did pull some pennies out of his pocket back in S1 with the labyrinth riddle. So maybe that’s just a skill the millennium puzzle can do--making weird ass pennies?

This is my brother’s aesthetic, this right here. This Big Penguin in a 3 piece suit and it’s got some anime for some reason strapped in the most goofy way on it stubby little wing.

This is Steve-o’s Mood down to a T.

Anyways, funnily enough, Tea and Yugi do actually get to communicate with each other this episode, but she isn’t aware that she’s doing it, much like how he wasn’t aware that he was in a dream she just had.

And so, Yugi feels newly inspired and very desperate and just throws himself directly at the door.

Yugi never did this back when Tea was abducted last season. Which...was yesterday. All that happened literally yesterday in the timeline of this show. Literally yesterday in the timeline of the show Seto Kaiba had to save Tea because Yugi got himself tied to an anchor and was too busy trying to kill himself to save Joey Wheeler (which didn’t even work and Serenity had to save Joey Wheeler instead it was a whole very confusing thing.) Like Yugi has got to stop needlessly sacrificing himself it only works a fraction of the time.

Anyway, Crump (Crumb? I don’t remember his name anymore) gives us a little backstory on why he chose to be a bird. We never got a backstory with like...Gansley. I think Yugi didn’t really waaaant to know why he was a sexy fish. And Gansley honestly didn’t want to tell him. And personally, I’m OK with not knowing.

What is it with TV shows and saying that every freakin weird tick their characters have is down to childhood trauma? Usually from parents? Like it’s such a tired trope nowadays. And honestly, from a psychological standpoint, TV shows constantly blaming parents for any character being an asshole is sort of unfair because sometimes you just have a kid who’s an asshole and it’s no one’s fault (except for the kid himself). But mostly, Yugioh tends to get creative with their backstories and this one is just “I dunno, I was lonely” which is a whole lot like the Mai backstory, but she didn’t turn into an evil bastard who wants to be a penguin, did she?

Hell, she got engaged.

Anyways, Seto’s S1 outfit makes a rare appearance. I miss that green jumpsuit with the pop collar. We got it twice this season. Heh, and bro told me this arc was bad.

And so because Crump was just straight up real bad at business and didn’t know how to find more angel investors, he’s just gonna do a murder.

Can we talk a little bit about this? So Gozoboro Kaiba was an asshole who made a ton of weapons--and that whole time, Crump was working with him so that one day he could go up to Kaiba Sr and be like “lets put that nuclear deal on hold--what if instead we just sold...penguins?”

Like that was Crump’s whole life plan. He blames Seto for it not working out but this guy worked for a supervillain for I’m assuming was like 30 years to build this theme park that I’m pretty sure would have never been made anyway?

And then Seto turned right around and made a theme park with a bunch of dragons in it?

Like why didn’t Crump just go to a freakin Zoo and be like “Lets make a penguin only zoo?” Like why didn’t he start with people who actually worked with animals?

Why did Crump go straight to working with the evil guns n stuff company to build a children’s theme park?

Anyway, he’s a penguin now, so it’s not like Crump is really all there and altogether. Like I’m assuming that maybe Kaiba Sr got a penguin theme park commission in his inbox once a month and just threw it in the trash being all “there goes that Crump again” and just ignored it or something. Like every Halloween work party Crump would have been a penguin, right? Like EVERY Halloween for 30 years? And like when Kaiba Sr got his boys did Crump come up to him and give him a Penguin lecture about how to be a perfect parent? Like how much of a nightmare was Crump to work with and how many times did the Kaibas try to kill him before Seto finally did is what I’m asking.

Also, still taking Dayquil, thanks for asking, I apparently still have some rants.

But that’s all for now.

PS I’ll have you know I almost made the title of this episode “fowl play” and decided that was too much of a low hanging pun. But I’m still like...I’m still feeling like putting it up there. That be the mix of meds and congestion.

[gothamiteneko]

I watched the fifth season's premiere of Gotham some days ago and since then, there have been running some comments about what happened, but i'm not talking about everything about it, i mean, not like general impressions or something like that (it was such a great and exciting episode, btw, i still can't get over with it, omg... But that's another story, lol), but especifically about that scene with Oswald and Tabitha and the whole drama around it... that also has it's own issues for the way the show decided to go with it, but yeah, is not the main discussion here.

My point to walk out of my usual silence, is cuz one dear friend of mine said something like "Robin has tweeted that all of Oswald's humanity will be gone. This hurts me so much" and as much as i love Robin (just like everyone else does, i'm sure), since my friend said that and apparently is not the only one feeling like this, i felt the necessity to share MY POINT OF VIEW of what i think (and told my friend) about this particular topic, so, here we go (this will be long and i'm not that bad with english, but is not my mother language either, so i apologize for the mistakes, hope it can make some sense anyway xD)...

So, about what Robin tweeted... I wouldn't worry that much x) he said the same thing when he realized about Butch's death in the script xD but what happened? nothing, in fact we all celebrated that finally Ozzy had revenge for his mother's death (i mean, c'mon, Tabitha really deserved it, she deeply dug her own grave, literally and figuratively).

If with "Oswald will becomes a monster" Robin means that he will suffer again another lose of a very important person for him (aka Martin) so he will lose his temper and will go berserk seeking revenge against whoever dared to do such a thing (probably will be Barbara... Or maybe Mother?) and when he found them, he will kill each one of them slowly, painfully and without any remorse seen on his face, then will be the same thing like when Butch or Tabitha died, cuz it was something they forced him to do, i mean, even when Butch or Barbara, or Ed or Jim (or in whoever you like to think... Except Tabitha or Theo, of course xD) betrayed him the way they did, Oswald forgave them and tried to pass through it in order to stay at peace with himself and cuz, as he always says -referring here especifically to people with who he is fond of in some way- "for the old times", so if he will "become a monster" then he will REALLY need a HUGE reason to become the cold-hearted and ruthless villain that Robin asures he will become, and even then, i doubt it, because of how the series (forget the comics, let's treat this like the legit AU from the DC world it is) had portrayed -till now- Ozzy's behaviour and development as a character:

Oswald doesn't kill without a reason if it is possible, he almost always needs a motivation to do it (like that time when he killed a man for a tuna sandwich... that could count as self-preservation... In a slightly creepy way but still, lol. Or when after that, he killed that guy in the car that insulted him calling him "penguin", i mean, if the guy would have kept his mouth shut, nothing would had happen to him cuz Oswald was supposed to stay lowkey since that moment), and loves to have the control over any situation, so he usually needs to know that those murders have a purpose (even the most tiny one) in his elaborated plans or to know/be sure that he won't need that person once again (then he will prefer to keep them alive for a while... if they don't cause him any other problem first). But even if he starts killing without feeling nothing while doing it on this season, that wouldn't be new cuz he was already like that too, just right in the first season! i mean, c'mon! he killed a man for a tuna sandwich, he killed one of Maroni's employees just to get his boots, he sat down waiting patiently and smiling while watched how those foolish robbers died for the poisoned cannoli and then he just left with the money as fresh and calm as if nothing would have ever happened, he stabbed a man right in the front door of HIS MOM'S HOUSE... and i could keep going and going with examples just for the S1. So he is not an innocent creature, he can be a very dangerous man despite his short height and general physical appereance, and is very visceral when he is blinded by rage and fear (like when he killed Tarquin using just his hands and a statue that the poor man had on his desk, cuz Oswald thought that he took his father's remains off of his grave to make Os fell in some kind of trap for an unknown reason or just to make him go crazy, ruin his reputation and make him seem weak in front of his enemies), so is not a surprise if he now seems to be absolutely heartless and behaves like an unpredictable and capricious dictator with the people at his service or with anyone in general. In fact, i personally find that change very suitable for him after all the physical and emotional damage he has been receiving all his life, after all those betrayals he had to endure from those who were supposed to be his friends and in who Oswald trusted. So, in contrary, i love how he now says "enough!" and closes his heart to everyone, cuz he is done of being him the one who always gives several opportunities and/or warnings; or the one who always trusts, loves and shares but despite any good intention he could have with anyone, he always continues being underestimated, hurt, humiliated, called names and judged by his acts and thoughts as if they really knew him or like if Oswald was the only one who is being selfish or like if he was the only one to blame for everything cuz he is the only "monster" and psychopath in the room, but not. Also i love how he is absolutely conscious of the enormous power and influence he has now, cuz he earned it all by himself, from the very ashes, from the very beginning all over again, and overall now, in the middle of the worst crisis the city had ever experienced, he is rising and climbing higher than ever before, he is swimming in familiar waters and as everyone very well know, penguins can perfectly fly in the water; so the cold behaviour he has now is not just very well justified but it is also more than necessary for him to embrace it fully, because he is surrounded by a very hostile environment, so then he knows that the desperation and the general knowledge about how he has every resource he could ask (guns, rounds, food, water, territory, minions, "muscle", etc) will make everyone to try to steal anything from him, at least once, and he obviously won't let that happen. He has always been a survivor and he knows with what kind of enemies and obstacles he is dealing with.

Now, if the writers, producers and Robin himself (and i say this with all my love and respect for Robin) want to think and believe that we fans will hate Ozzy because his behaviour "took us all by surprise" and "did a so unexpected 180° turn without any kind of warning", just cuz he is now acting like the villain he has always been, i think they will be the ones that will be surprised when they find out that nothing has really changed about the love of the fandom for our dear angry and murderous birb (is not like if he really suddenly would had went from a tender and sweet boy that we learnt to love from S1 to S4, to a cold-hearted murderer for the sake of "YOLO, haters gonna hate" in S5, pleeeease).

I think that Gotham's version in particular, of Oswald "The Penguin" Cobblepot, has a place very well earned in our hearts thanks to Robin's interpretation (he really embraced the character and brought him to life) and all the other people involved in the character's development,who have give him a complexity, a charisma, a background, etc. so well established and explored until now, that he is more than just another villain (not just in the series but into any kind of media -even written-, including other versions and portrayals of this same character, where his personality and story is not really taken more seriously, or is being exaggerated or being taken out of context or is simply not known enough by the general audience -besides comics' readers or the DC fans, especially if they actually take a moment to try to understand the characters- to make them have sympathy and a deeper and better conection with him, so he would be more loved and popular by who he is, as it happens with other characters/villains, like the Joker's case, for example); now "The Penguin" has become one villain that is also very relatable cuz now we can be first-line witnesses, so we have the opportunity to take a closer and better look into a ONE (1) more tangible POINT OF VIEW (i want to be very clear with this, cuz is Gotham's version, is Gotham's point of view) of his tragic story (his childhood as a bullied kid, his relationship with his mom and his dad including their deaths, all the very few people he once really trusted and/or loved and betrayed him or instead, in some cases, were taken away from him -permanently or temporary- to hurt him), his motivations (he does it cuz he wants recognition because he is ambicious and has always been invisible, outcasted, underestimated; but also cuz he wants a better life for him and his mom, for example; to protect and give her everything they lacked for years, aka, he does a lot of things for LOVE -an irony, considering that this is precisely the main point of his whole tragedy in almost any version of his character, i mean, the lack or absence of it for real in his life-. He is mainly driven by his emotions/his heart, doesn't matter if he is cautious and afraid at first, but after some time he opens his heart and gives it to someone in who he really wants to believe that is a person worth of take care of it... or if he now prefers to hide it to don't get hurt again) his actions and decisions (he is evil, cunning, intelligent, etc. but he is not undefeatable, he is human too, he has his flaws and can do mistakes as everyone else) that now is almost impossible to try to convince us that he is the embodiment of the worst atrocity ever created, doesn't matter how he looks or what he does, even if he never will be redeemed, cuz we all know why he is how he is and why he behaves like that (as i said, he is a very relatable character).

In conclusion, i'm sure Ozzy will always be our fav if they keep his development as solid and well constructed as it has been all this time, i mean, if they keep him in character, if they remain loyal to the story they have been telling us about him along these years (i mean, have been FIVE years, that must mean something for them, some effort and non sleep-time at least) and don't suddenly go 100% OoC just cuz they are forcing the plot to justify his villainy to the point of finally make him "become a monster" (like in "see what he did??? *insert a forced series of absurd and unbelievable nonsense for the sake of it* he is a monster! He is a horrible person who doesn't deserve any kindness or love in his life!") like SERIOUSLY? Are you really throwing to the trash the complex character that Oswald is, just for THIS? *points to the absurd and nonsense plot they throw at us*, are you despising one of the best and well written characters in the show just cuz you are hurry to end the series and you can't go before make your point very clear at all costs, of how you were always right about why we shouldn't like Ozzy so much if he is who he is, and then shove it in our faces? Well, news flash! we already knew it, we know who he is and we still love him and will always do. If we have forgiven (or at least i'm at peace with that) the poor plots involving our dear birb (like the Nygmob cockblock cuz Kristen 2.0, the stupid ending of his friendship with Ivy, the not permanent death of Sofia or the whole absurd drama and betrayal of Ed and Lee or *insert your fav poor birb-related plot's issue here*), i think is safe enough to say that we will be ok with whatever can come to us now and we will remain loving Ozzy to the very end... as long as they don't destroy what they had reached with Oswald as a character after all this time (again, FIVE years), just to try to change our minds and hearts at the last moment, cuz it was already too late for that since years ago.

P.d. Also, there always will exist the fandom to adopt this character (or any other fav you want, depending of the fandom we are talking about) and give him a better treatment cuz that's how should happen, aka, "fix what canon ruined", so the fandom will make our dreams come true xD whichever they are xD and we will be able to happily ignore or change the canon at any point, to give that place to our own versions of the facts instead xD

[elvesofnoldor]

i mean people discussed this thousands time over but lok was definitely a bumpy ride. i like where they MIGHT have been trying to shape korra’s arc into, which is one about korra growing from a naive, sheltered and a little bit hot headed but nevertheless incredibly kind-hearted and good-natured teen to a level headed and seasoned warrior who has come to understand the complexity of the world through her struggles. i love that Korra’s story was all about self-discovery and it was all about learning what it truly means to be the avatar. despite how bumpy her arc was, i do come to love how unique it was meant to be. she started in a very different place than aang. aang never wanted to be the avatar, but korra wanted more than anything to be the avatar. it’s no wonder that korra had trouble airbending even though her most recent past life was an airbender. but one thing she had in common with aang was capacity for compassion and kindness. Even though their journey was so different, they are similar in that both aang and korra had to survive and struggle with tremendous pain and trauma other people has inflicted upon them and came through the other end learning that their pain and trauma did not have to define and change them as people. with aang, this manifested in the narrative as him struggling to control his avatar state--often triggered by the fear of losing people he loves and cares about. because the pain he has to struggle with comes from trauma of losing his entire people to genocide. At the end, he found a way to defeat fire lord ozai without killing him, staying true to himself while achieving what he must achieve to restore balance to the world. i think they tried to have korra go through a similar process, what with sympathizing with kuvria and saving her and in the process opening a whole new spirit portal. And the infamous “i need to suffer so that i can be more compassionate” line in the last couple of minutes of the show is probably referring to her sympathizing with kurvria, as korra said to her earlier that she knows what she feels because she knows “what it’s like to be afraid”. now, idk if “being afraid” has anything to do with the war crimes kuvria has committed and about to commit, i think they were just trying to have korra sparing kuvria to take on the same sort of significance as aang sparing ozai even though that wouldn’t work very well because these two fights SHOULD have played different roles in the two avatars’ respective development/story. And, let’s put aside the fact that anybody could become more compassionated--even people who already are compassionated in the first place, i have to say that the last season or so still give off this “we don’t really know what to do with our female protagonist anymore so we are gonna have her tortured to ‘take her down a peg’ so that she has something to struggle with” stench. because with the way things ended at the end of s1, it didn’t seem like they had a concrete plan from the get go. even if they worded things better and changed that line into something about growing from her pain and not letting it define and change as a person and learning through her mistakes and her pain that being a hero and warrior doesn’t always mean punching her way through her problems (which was what her arc was supposed to be about anyways) instead, that stench may not go away anyways. sometimes i wonder if her arc across four seasons would have been so erratic if she was not a dark skinned female protagonist, after all, i doubt it was her being a female protagonist alone that caused the nickelodeon to be so against production of lok from the very beginning. sometimes i wonder if the fan base can be so nitpicky about her behaviours if she wasn’t not a dark skinned female protagonist. no. the fan base would definitely not be as unkind had she not been a 1. woman 2. dark skinned woman, but i do wonder about how the production of the story arcs would have gone. idk. it’s not the best show ever, that’s for sure. but i expected to love korra and i love her still. Overall, im just glad i watched this show and experienced the story at last. 

[health-and-felicidad]

I Went to a Real Life Body Positive Pool Party, Just Like in Shrill. Here's What Happened

Swimwear can be one of the most intimidating and anxiety-inducing garments that we own. On the flip side, it can also be one of our biggest sources of confidence. For many of us that grew up loathing our bodies, particularly if they did not at all resemble what was being marketed in swimsuit ads, swimsuit season comes with a lot of feelings.

As an adult, I have decided to reclaim the term “fat” as a personal identifier. It is just simply a descriptor of how I identify—fat, Black, femme, queer. Those are all descriptors for how I navigate the world. Identifying as fat or plus-size is important for me because it represents how I have to navigate the fashion industry in particular. Fashion is not at a point where they “don’t see size,” and it continues to prove incredibly challenging for fat or plus-size folks to shop for clothes that actually fit, both online and in-store.

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The swimwear industry is notorious for being fatphobic and having a lack of options available for anyone over a size large. Not so fun fact: According to Dr. Deborah Christel, apparel design researcher and founder of size inclusive intimates brand Kade & Vos, only 10% of swimwear sold online is available in plus-sizes. Once the temperatures begin rising as summer months draw nearer, you begin hearing the phrases “beach body” and “bikini body,” and though no one may outright say that fat bodies are not included in those categories, it certainly has always felt implied. So if you are a fat or plus-size person who does not make drastic changes to your body during swimwear season, where do you go if you are not trying to put on a suit that makes you look like Aunt Carol going to water aerobics (no shade Aunt Carol, get your swim on, girl)? Where can you find a suit meant for the beach babe you were born to be?

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Meet Kitty and Vibe, a swimwear brand that’s intentional about body positivity and size inclusivity. The brand created a new sizing metric that uses hip and inseam measurements to create the perfect fit. Each swimsuit bottom size comes in two size options for smaller booties and bigger booties. This eliminates the issue of sagging, bunching, or not enough coverage.

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In late July, the brand hosted a pool party that was like the real life version of the body pos pool party in Shrill. Kitty and Vibe aptly called their event “A Party for EveryBOOTY.”

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When I arrived at the party, which was hosted at a swanky rooftop in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, I found myself experiencing the same feelings as Aidy Bryant’s character Annie, thinking to myself, “I should have the confidence of a journalist with press access to this rooftop party, but I’m a little nervous, shy, and hopefully I can get away with standing by the snack table for the night.”

This is typically how I feel attending bougie press events as a plus-size person. However, when I entered the party and saw the diversity (pardon the buzzword) around me, I immediately felt at ease. Stretch marks, wrinkles, melanin, and all body shapes were in attendance to celebrate this brand that too was celebrating them. It was incredible.

I chatted with 25-year-old founder Cameron Armstrong about the ethos of Kitty and Vibe, body positivity, and “A Party for EveryBOOTY.”

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HelloGiggles (HG): Was this the first event for the brand?

Cameron Armstrong (CA): Yes, it was. We’ve done a couple in-person markets, but this was really the first full on Kitty and Vibe brand event. It was really special because obviously Kitty and Vibe is all about inclusivity and diversity, celebrating each and every person exactly as they are. But it’s one thing to preach that message, and it’s another thing for people to actually buy into it and respond to it and love it and live it. And so when everybody showed up—and it was the exact kind of demographic of everything that we preach—it was so fulfilling.

HG: It was really cool for me to witness that myself, too. It’s like you said—it’s one thing to see it as a consumer or even read about it as a journalist. But to actually experience it is really nice. It’s great to see brands that actually hold up their end of the bargain.

CA: I was so giggly the whole night, just talking to everybody and saying, “I’m Cameron, I started it. This is crazy.” It was just the most authentic night. It was really special. I had some people tell me, “I came here alone and I was a little nervous, but I’ve made about six friends since being here.” I think that’s very telling.

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HG: That’s awesome. So I have to ask, what is the story behind the name Kitty and Vibe?

CA: Yes, very unique name. So for me, when I created this mission for myself to fix all of the pains within swimwear, I really saw the biggest issue for women and swimwear being that, for a lot of women, nobody could ever find the perfect fitting bottom. It would either sag too much or be too skimpy. And then, also, the experience was so degrading and triggering for so many women. So it was these two issues that I was really focusing on finding solutions for: the fit and the experience. For me, I’ve always had a very small booty. And so whenever I would swim in the ocean, the water would pool [my bikini bottoms] and it would be so uncomfortable. So I took this real life experience with me being a woman in a swimsuit, and I started measuring anybody that would let me measure them. I found that the biggest differentiator across all these women was actually the inseam size, so belly button through the legs to the top of the tailbone. Which is why it’s called Kitty, because I couldn’t call it crotch. And from there, I developed these sizing metrics. In standardized swimwear, you have the small, medium, large, but in Kitty swimwear, within each of those hip sizes, there are two different inseam size options. That’s translated to the customer as S1 and S2. Then we ask, do you have a smaller booty or bigger booty? A smaller inseam or longer inseam? The simple questions really seem to work for the customer because our return rate is insanely low for e-comm fashion. It’s just giving her double the options; we’re not these one dimensional figures that can bucket into three size options. So that’s where Kitty comes from.

Vibe is taking a product [swimsuits] that’s been so historically worrying and depression-triggering, and flipping it on its head to make it something actually enjoyable. I wanted this product to no longer be an enemy of a woman, but a friend. I refer to each of the prints as vibes. So the way our business model works is we drop a new vibe. And when a vibe comes out, it’s available in every single size and every single style. So she can choose the perfect top that will fit her chest in her size and then the perfect bottom with the right coverage in her size, and then get it in that print. Whereas [for other brands], a print will come out that’s maybe only available in a triangle top, which is not supportive enough for someone with an E-size breast. So this really gives her the flexibility to curate the perfect suit for her. Then the suit’s delivered to your doorstep with a curated playlist that matches the vibe of your suit. …It really just personifies the product and it makes you so much closer to it, and it makes it less intimidating. So that’s Kitty and Vibe.

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HG: What does the design process look like?

CA: I’m so glad you brought that up. Because I have no experience in design, I do all of the design decisions on Instagram polls. So if you go on our Instagram, you’ll see a highlight called “Your Vote.” And any time that we are creating new prints or new shapes, new styles, new upgrades to the suits, the decision is made through majority vote. So I throw it up on a poll and I say, “Do you want this or this?” I think it was a no brainer, especially since I’m really not the expert, and who better to ask than the people that are going to buy it… It’s important to note that it’s the highest engagement we get on social media. It’s a really fun way to engage and get the customer hooked at early stages because she’s designing it herself. She’s choosing it.

HG: What exactly does the term body positivity mean to you?

CA: I think it’s tough because obviously it’s a buzzword, for sure… I think body positivity is important to look at it as not so black and white, where it’s like you have it or you don’t. It’s a never ending process of accepting who you are… I really think that the Kitty customer is someone who is on that journey of accepting themselves, but I don’t think she’s dwelling in self pity or self doubt. I think she’s seeing the glass half full and is very encouraged to support other women on the same journey. And it’s really about about sisterhood and lifting other people up along the way. I think the most important thing to me is that it is a process. It’s a journey, it’s not you have it or you don’t.

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HG: What does diversity mean to you and especially in fashion?

CA: For all of my campaigns that I’ve done thus far, I have never hired professional models. The people that are in the campaigns are friends of friends or people that have reached out to the brand to say, “I love your message; I would love to be involved.” …I think diversity just means “real.” It’s not photoshopped. It’s not perfectly curated. And something that I really want to be mindful of is avoiding any type of exploitation. I think we’re walking a fine line now where, it’s amazing that the representation is so insisted upon, but I think it needs to be done in the most organic and tasteful way possible. Luckily, within Kitty and Vibe, the people who love the brand are diverse. That’s something I am so proud of because I think it’s rare to be able to create a movement that has such a wide spectrum of souls in love with what you’re putting out there. That’s probably what I’m most proud of; the authentic diversity that is seen when you look at the Kitty and Vibe community.

HG: That actually leads me to my next question. As a straight-sized person yourself—meaning someone who isn’t plus-size or fat—what inspired you to create a brand that is size inclusive, body positive, and diverse—especially when it would be really easy for you to just create small, medium and large? Or, on the opposite end, you could have just tapped into the tokenization of the body positive and diversity movements in fashion. What inspired the movement behind the brand for you?

CA: I’m so glad you asked this because it’s something that I think about really often. To be totally transparent with you, it’s also my biggest insecurity… and when I close my eyes and put myself back at the beginning stages of developing this company, and why I was so fired up about doing it, it was really about the conversations that I had in my past with so many women. Everything that I’ve ever encountered where a woman feels less than because of the way she looks. When I developed the company, I was only two years out of college. I remembered so many conversations with friends where they would just be in tears because they didn’t want to go out that night or they didn’t want to go to the beach—simply because they didn’t like the way they looked. And it was heartbreaking. The one thing that I personally have struggled with in my life is acne on my back, so when I’m in a fitting room with the light beaming down on me, the acne scars on my back are what hinders me from feeling beautiful… And I thought to myself, “I need to give these women armor. I need to give them a suit that really just makes them feel beautiful, and that allows them to get out of their head and really realize that what matters is her confidence.” And so I think it was getting a taste of that triggering feeling. And I just decided that I had to do something about it.

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HG: Would you say more of your larger sizes are being bought than your smaller sizes?

CA: You know, it’s really across the board. I am glad you’re asking me that because I would want to refresh the data and take another look at it. Definitely the most popular sizes were around an M2 or L2—which would be between a size 8 to 14. So it’s really in the middle—it’s not your size zero or the super stick thin that you see so often in advertising. But [the most bought sizes are] not only the highest sizes I offer. That’s why I really don’t ever use the term plus-size to refer to Kitty and Vibe. Because for me, [being inclusive] means every single size on both ends of the spectrum. And as I’m able to grow and as I’m able to hopefully start fundraising and really turn this machine, I have every intention of expanding sizes on both ends of the spectrum. I think we won’t settle until there’s a Kitty that makes every woman feel comfortable.

HG: When you first launched, did Kitty and Vibe always sell the range of sizes available now? Or did it start out smaller and then expand?

CA: At the very, very beginning, it went up to a size 16. Then, within 60 days, I was able to use the sales from the first batch to jump up to a size 20 and give another top size. And then this spring, with our one pieces, those go up to size 24. So it’s kind of like, as soon as I have the sales under my belt, we churn out more sizes.

HG: What do you see next for Kitty and Vibe?

CA: The possibilities are endless. The sizing is at the forefront—it’s just going to keep [expanding] on both ends. And then, also, I’ve had a lot of people say that the sizing metrics—your hips and your inseam—is so brilliant… So okay, where else can we take it? And I think there could be really great potential within intimates. Imagine if you had underwear that could do this, or you had leggings that could do this, or even jeans?! It really keeps me up at night… So I’m not sure what will be next, but I can’t wait to find out myself!

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source https://www.health.com/syndication/went-to-body-positive-pool-party-shrill