#i doubt I’ll ever actually do much w them but just know.

[thefirstforgottenpages]

Just Another Win

I’d like to call it my victory lap

Authors note: Y’all really ate the first one tf up soooo… (me acting like I didn’t read every Rhea ripley x reader on tumblr)

Also Rhea with long hair makes me wanna crawl to Australia 

Warnings: smut, hurt comfort, fluff, wrestler!reader, (twisted/noncannon storyline) Nia Jax, Rhea being stubborn, mommy/mami kink, oral, strap on (reader receiving), praise, choking, manhandling��� that’s about it (not proofread, I’ll go back and fix it later lmao)

You were livid, you were positively fuming. You watched in gut twisting fear as Nia Jax went off script again and started to beat the ever loving shit out of your girlfriend Rhea. You knew that Rhea was in actual pain when her signature smirk wiped off her face as she got slammed onto her back again and again. You glance around, frantically making eye contact with a few of your friends that were sitting in front row with you. The mirrored horror and confusion that was on their face’s confirmed to you your very worst nightmare. None of this was planned. 

Nia just wanted to win. And she was going to do anything she could to secure that. What made it worse was when the mic and camera would pick up Rhea’s tortured facial expressions and pained groans. You were sick to your stomach as Jax slammed her onto the monitor covered desk, the ragged gasp that Rhea let out caused you to swiftly turn your head away from the match, scrunching your nose in apprehension. 

Nia’s plan failed in the end. You cheered every time Rhea kicked out of a pin, and when she won, you didn’t care that you broke character, When camera’s weren’t focusing on you, you blew Rhea a kiss, your smile growing wider as her eyes softened while she nodded back at you.

You showed more of your concern later when you both were back at the hotel. “I won didn’t I?” Rhea responds when you ask her if she’s okay. You smile before arching your brow quizzically. “If you say so hon…” you trail off kissing her cheek before wrapping your arms around her. “You worry too much.” Rhea says softer before pulling you in closer to her body. You can tell she’s flattered by the sentiment although when she kisses you quickly on the lips pulling you backwards onto the bed. “I worry too little baby,” you crow, climbing on top of her with ease. Rhea chuckles letting you straddle her, strong hands coming up to grip your waist. As she winces softly, ribs no doubt sore, you frown. “My point exactly.” You say more seriously leaning down to kiss at any skin you can reach.

You know you’ve done your job when you pull away slowly to find Rhea blushing heavily the back of her hand attempting to cover her mouth. You giggle at this scooting closer to her as Rhea’s arm snakes around your torso pulling you snug to her chest. “I love you.” She purrs smoothly, and no matter how many times you hear it, the words still make you beam, blushing as you mumble back “I love you more.” 

“You’re always so good to me.” Rhea whispers and the tone in her voice has you shivering, but nonetheless nuzzling into her to place several lewd and biting kisses to her neck. Rhea bites her lip, a whine falling past them anyways. “Are you up to this?” You say trailing your hands up— and much to Rhea’s delight, they dip under her shirt coming to massage delicate  circles to the sensitive skin of her boobs. “Fuck yes I do darling.” Rhea stutters as you lean your head on her chest, looking up at her knowingly, batting your eyelashes in a way you know she loves. 

She licks her lips as you scoot your body lower rolling up her band t-shirt as you do. “You don’t think I would want to celebrate with my girl?” She smiles, a hypnotic look of lust evident in her eyes as you kiss down her tattooed stomach. You shrug, hiding behind your hair while you pull her shorts and panties down smoothly. “Ah ah none of that my love.” Rhea looks down at you through hooded eyes. You moan softly as her hand wraps in your hair, pulling it away from your face. “Mommy wants to see you tonight sweetheart.” You laugh at her stupefied expression as you begin to suck at her clit. 

“Fuck you taste so good.” Your words are muffled and when Rhea’s thighs shake at your words, you whimper into her pussy. “Y-yeah—Jesus-you’re too-shit-too fuckin’ good to me.” Rhea repeats, her hand grips tighter in your hair and you know you’re eating her out the way she always craves. “Like this mommy?” You hum out before slowly licking down to her gushing heat. The way Rhea’s hips buck into your mouth is answer enough, but the unrestrained moan that she lets out has your own cunt throbbing with need.

Rhea’s eyes roll back when your middle and index finger slip inside her. You giggle quietly loving the reactions you can coax out of the usually stoic woman as you continue to pleasure her to the best of your abilities. And your abilities were good you thought, as Rhea let out a pleasured cry that distinctly had a mix of your name in it. “Fucking hell.” Her words are slurred as she pushes your head closer to her cunt not that you minded. 

You gasp as Rhea begins to grind against your face. A mix of curse words and praises fall from her lips as her hand comes down to grip at the sheets. You can tell she’s going to cum when her thighs start to close around your head. And when Rhea feels you moan her name softly into her she does. You can’t help but to stare, absolutely enraptured with your girlfriend’s pleasured expression.

You crawl back up to her slowly lips quirking up as Rhea swears at your debauched appearance. You were panting softly, pupils blown and darkened, a heavy pink hue painting your cheeks. Rhea groaned as she pulled you in to place a sultry kiss on your swollen lips. You lay partially atop her as she reaches to her bag on the nearby bedside table. Your smile grows absolutely unrestrained as Rhea smirks at you pulling out her purple and black strap. 

You strip as she puts it on, throwing your shirt into the room. Rhea’s longer hair falls into your face as she climbs on top of you. “Have I ever told you how much I like you with long hair?” You mumble as she kisses you once more. “Considering you tell me everyday I would think so love.” Rhea laughs, voice low and raspy.  You cling to Rhea as she rubs the tip of the dildo on your clit loving when you gasp out. “You’re so fucking sexy.” You hiccup as she finally thrusts into you. 

Rhea’s hand finds its place at your throat before she responds “That’s all you sweetheart.” You blush mouth forming an ‘o’ as Rhea quickens the pace of her hips. “Taking this so well darling.” Rhea coos to you whining when the sound of your wet heat reach her ears. Your back arches off the bed as you wrap your arms around her neck. Your voice is pitchy as you mewl out her name, Rhea muffles your cries as she drags her lips across yours yet again. 

“Such a good girl.” Rhea murmurs to you as her head dips to suck at your collarbone. Your moans warble unintelligibly as you clench around the girth of the dildo. “Rhea-I-oh my god!” You can’t even speak a full sentence with how good she’s rutting into you. Rhea knows this responding with a knowing chuckle. “Does that feel good baby?” She purrs to you lowly, hand gripping just a little bit tighter on your neck. 

You nod simply, already fucked completely dumb by her precise thrusts. Another keen slips from your lips as Rhea lifts up your legs, the position making her immediately find the part inside of you that had you writhing beneath her. “Oh there we fucking go.” Rhea sighs as your eyes roll back again. “Right there? Yeah?” She chides. She knows fully well that you couldn’t answer even if you wanted. But as you nod your head vigorously Rhea’s smirk deepens. “Right fucking there.” The gravelly timbre in her voice has you clawing at her back as she continues to pound into you.

“Fuck me…” you trail off in your wreaked state unable to get out more than a few words. “M-mommy please I- Rhea!” The tightened coil of pleasure winds deep in your belly, close to snapping. You’re so very, very close. 

“Don’t stop—don’t stop I’m-‘m gonna cum!” Rhea groans at your state grabbing gently at your face. “I don’t plan on stopping love.” She grins as you shudder. “Go ahead and make a mess sweetheart, mommy’s got you.”  Rhea squeezes again at your throat, and at her lewd words you moan out her name, coming with a hoarse cry. Rhea continues to piston her hips until you’re fucked throughly through your orgasm. As she stills, you pull her body against  yours. 

“All good?” Rhea asks smoothly, her breath hitches however when you press several love bites onto her bare chest. You nod tiredly but nonetheless brighten as Rhea draws nameless shapes into your skin gazing at you lovingly. “My pretty girl.” She whispers wrapped up in the feeling of just being with you. “My stubborn woman.” You coo back just as lovingly but you both laugh knowing how close to the truth it was.

[thewulf]

Not Just Pals || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Request - Hello darling! I have a request for you if you don't mind... It's a hangman x fem! Reader pen pals to friends to lovers kind of thing. Like maybe when he was in the academy someone put his name in this program to write to college students but joke on them because he got paired with reader and they hit it off almost instantly... Read Rest Here

A/N: Whew! This one was for whatever reason really tough to write! I changed it up a little bit but I hope you guys still enjoy it. :)

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.9k +

T/W : Self-doubt

October 9th, 2014

Hi There Y/N,

I’m not sure how you’re really supposed to start one of these things? How are you supposed to go about talking to somebody you’ve literally never met before? Although the Navy/Army pen pal thing could be interesting. I’ll be honest, my buddy signed me up and I didn’t think I’d actually write anything down but then I got the email with your name on it, Cadet Y/N Y/L/N. Consider myself intrigued.

What’s it like up in New York? Is it cold? Do you get a lot of snow? It gets awfully cold down here in Maryland, so I have to imagine how cold it gets up there. I’m from Texas so I’m still adjusting to this weather… four years later. It’s not easy. I think it’s the hardest part of living in the northeast. I’d rather run a marathon with a thirty-pound pack on than sit outside in the snow for more than twenty minutes. I hope to get stationed somewhere warm when this is all set and done.

Your ‘about me’ says you’re going into the Air Defense Artillery after West Point… which is the exact opposite of what I’m doing. Consider myself doubly intrigued Cadet. What do you do? Fire missiles and rockets at jets? That can’t possibly be as much fun as firing them when you’re in the air. It’s cool just not nearly as cool as what I do, know what I mean? Maybe a close second though.

Have you even been in a jet before? I bet you’d like it. I obviously don’t know you, but I haven’t met many people who didn’t like it. There’s something so freeing about flying 1,000 miles per hour in a tiny silver tube. You should try it sometime. If this whole thing works out maybe I’ll even take you up one day, who knows?

I guess that was my attempt at 20 questions. Hopefully you didn’t find it too annoying. Hope to hear back from you soon!

Jake Seresin

November 23rd ,2014

Hello Future Lieutenant Jake Seresin,

I’m thrilled you actually decided to write. I’m glad my name was all you needed to pick up that pen. I have to admit you made me giggle a few times. You seem effortlessly funny Mr. Seresin. Even for a soon-to-be Pilot.

I find it comical you’re asking me about the weather of all things, Midshipmen. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do on an awkward first date? But to answer your question, yes it’s cold as all get out up here. But I’m from Indiana so I’m used to it. Doesn’t mean I didn’t wish West Point wasn’t in Georgia or something. Why’d they have to put all the Military schools in the north?

What was it like growing up in Texas? Did you ever see snow? One of my favorite memories from this place is watching my roommate (who’s from Florida) see and play in snow for the first time. She froze her ass off but had the day of her life. She also hates snow now. So, it looks like you warm people have that in common.

To sum it up I guess you can say we fire rockets and missiles. My professors always say, ‘If it sounds like rocket science, it is’. Basically, we need to protect the ground troops from the flying bastards aka you. Although we do love our American flying bastards. So, I guess that doesn’t knock you down too many pegs in my book. Do you think they matched us up because our jobs are the antithesis of the other? If so, somebody had a hilarious sense of humor.

I’ve never been in a jet, and I have no plans to either. I don’t think I’d enjoy it if we’re being honest. You’re talking to the girl who gets sea-sick on cruises and had to take a motion pill if we’re going to an amusement park. My lil brain can’t handle the motion. A character flaw as they say. I also have a sense that you wouldn’t go to easy on me, being Army and all. I’ll stick to my calculations and rockets.

Don’t tell anybody I wrote this, but I do think what you guys do is so badass. I work with a bunch of jealous Cadets who couldn’t make it into the Army Aviation division, they’re just bitter. When I was little my dad used to take me to the Blue Angels shows in Chicago whenever they made their way across the States. Kind of the reason why I wanted to be in the military in the first place. But only my dad knows that. And well, I guess you now too. So, keep my secret safe Mr. Seresin.

I know the weather is less than desirable, but I do hope you’re finding things you love in Annapolis! There are some of the best crab cakes I’ve ever had there.

Thanks for the smiles after a long week!

Your New Friend,

Y/N Y/L/N

February 16th, 2015

Future Second Lieutenant Y/N Y/L/N,

That has a right to it doesn’t it? Your name sounds good with a Second Lieutenant in front of it. Sorry it’s been so long since I wrote. Getting busy with graduation coming up and practical’s and all. It’s a lame excuse I know, but it’s all I got. I hope you know how big I smiled reading your letter to me. I read it about fifty times before I could write a decent response to you. You have a way with words that I haven’t read in a long, long time.

Was your father in the military? None of my family was. I also loved the Blue Angels when they came down to Houston for the air shows. I’d always beg and plead and finally my mom or sister would give in and take me. They’re also the reason I’m here. So, I guess we should thank them that we got to meet. Neither you nor I would be in these academies without them. Your secret is locked away in the drawer and safe in my head too. It’s super safe with me.

I’ll be honest, the food here is so damn good. I sure do miss my Texas barbeque, but the spread is better up over here. Plus, the snacks? I didn’t know there was different brands sold across the states and you guys have better girl scout cookies! That’s just not fair. I could’ve gone my whole life knowing that there were two versions of girl scout cookies and I got the worse version. I’ve enjoyed the move far more than I’ve regretted it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. It doesn’t guarantee I’ll be a pilot, but it means I’m one step closer to getting there.

What all schooling do you have to do after you graduate this spring? Are you up for deployment soon? I’ve got a lot left to go. If I get picked after I’ve got a few years of flight school ahead of me. Then I’ll really be off. Wish me luck I make it!

With Love,

Jake

March 13th, 2015

Mr. Seresin,

I was getting worried! I thought it was something I had wrote. I’m glad it’s your negligence and not mine for the lack of communication. I forgive you though. It’s been stressful up here in New York as well. I luckily don’t have any practical’s I need to worry about. Just a few nuclear engineering classes are standing in between me and graduation.

I just have a year of Officer School (if I get selected that is) after this is all set and done come June. We have to apply this April so I’m getting a little anxious about the whole thing. I don’t really have a backup plan that I’d actually like to do so I really, really hope I get selected. Enough about me though, let’s talk about you. You’re going to get picked! Don’t let any bad thoughts get in between you and your goal. I think you’ll make a fine pilot Jake. You seem to have your wits about you which is the first step a lot of people miss.

My dad was in the Navy, like you. Don’t gloat though, it’ll ruin the finely crafted image I have of you. He was a deck hand or something like that. I wish I could ask him some more about it, but he passed when I was just thirteen. I just remember he loved being in the Navy. He loved everything about it. He made it seem like anything was possible with a passion.

I’m glad you’re enjoying the food and the girl scout cookies. It took me by surprise when I got Peanut Butter Patties instead of Tagalongs when I was down south for a winter. I’m so glad I grew up where the real GSC are sold.

I hope this letter brought you as much joy as yours brought me.

With the Same Love,

Y/N

(P.S. – Here’s my number if you’d like to text instead of write. No pressure!)

It had only been a week since you sent the last letter. Sure, you hadn’t really known the guy all too well but there was something so exciting about sending written mail. You felt like a little kid on Christmas waiting for a response from him. Who knew throwing your name in something so silly for your class would bring you so much joy.

You sat down on your desk setting your computer out front of you to study. Jake was right. It was an awfully busy time of the year. Applying for your future. Studying for you exams. When you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket you truly didn’t think much of it. It was only hours later when you finally closed the laptop shut that you went to check it that your face scrunched in confusion. You didn’t recognize the area code. It was then that it clicked that it could be him.

No pressure at all text! Hi there (it’s Jake).

You grinned reading it over and over again. That was quick! Maybe you made an impression? You sure hoped so. You hardly even knew what the guy looked like. You might’ve gone digging a little when you got his name. He was cute. Handsome even. But he seemed like that type. That arrogant pilot type. But even in just the two letters you received from him you got the hint that he wasn’t that type of guy at all.

I didn’t think you’d actually text me. It’s good to hear from you.

The messages between the two of you were infrequent at best as the semester ended. But he never failed to put a smile on your face. When you needed a pick me up you went through and read the messages that popped up.

On your graduation day you sent him a picture of you and a few friends in a cap and gown with the text: Beat you! You’re also looking at your newest Officer Candidate too!

You didn’t have to wait long for a reply. Your face only grew with glee seeing his response: Congrats Second Lieutenant. And future Captain. Knew you’d do it. You look beautiful as always.

Typing a quick reply, you hid your smile away just knowing your friends would make a stupid comment about the mystery man that always had you so smiley: You’re making me blush all the way up here in New York. I better get a picture next weekend when you do the same, future Lieutenant.

He came through on your request. When you got the text you could only smile. You spotted him in the picture immediately, your eyes drawn to him. He was so damned handsome. How lucky were you to get paired with a guy like that? Your smile grew further when you read the message: Lieutenant (and future pilot) Jake Seresin reporting for picture duty.

The messages occurred naturally between through the years as you were deployed, and he was in school. Some months you texted more and some you didn’t hear from him at all. It never bothered you. The silly little thing called life happened for both of you.

Still, the two of you often made time for phone calls when the time was right. The first time you talked on the phone you thought you were going to quite literally throw up you were so nervous. But in typical Jake Seresin fashion he made you feel cool as a cucumber. You talked and talked and talked into the morning. It felt so normal. Like you were catching up with an old friend. Jake Seresin. Who was this man that was making it hard to date? He was quite literally everything you wanted and needed in a partner. The universe had a funny way of working sometimes.

It had been six long years since you received that first letter from him. He was off on a mission now. A dangerous one he couldn’t tell you much about. But he wanted you at his arrival back home in San Diego and you promised him you’d be there. Assured him. That’s how you ended up in here pacing in the hotel room contemplating whether you should really go or not. It felt too intimate, like you were intruding. But he did say none of his family would be there, they had other things going on as the mission was a bit of a surprise to everybody. The pilots were all instructed to keep it as quiet as possible.

Your hands were shaking as you parked your car in the overcrowded lot. Gripping the steering wheel, you took a long breath in. You could do this. You had to do this. For him, for you. You stepped out of the car and made you way to the dock. The aircraft carrier was already docked by the time you got to the meeting site. You stood back and waited. Watched and waited. It felt like an eternity then finally the men and women started pouring out in their Navy Whites. You’d always thought they looked the sharpest of the bunch, but you’d never tell Jake that. He’d make fun of your Army uniforms or something like that.

It felt like both an eternity and seconds later that you spotted him amongst the crowd of sailors exiting the ship searching high and low for you. You promised you’d be there. And here you were. He either felt your eyes on him or had an uncanny sense of timing as his eyes locked with your own. His smile had melted you right there on the spot. You felt helpless as you willed your brain to move but it wouldn’t. You only began to panic a little as he moved with ease through the crowd making his way right to you.

He stood in front of you. Jake Seresin stood in front of you, much taller than you thought, “I knew I recognized you. First Lieutenant Y/L/N.” His eyebrows raised as you gaped at him with wide eyes as if he wasn’t really there. Closing your mouth, you knew you needed to pull it together but that sounded much easier said than done. Jake freaking Seresin, your pen pal was really standing in front of you in real life. He was more of enigma in your mind at this point. Somebody you could have deep life conversations with so easily but never having actually met the man it was hard for you to grasp he was really real. And standing in front of you.

“Jake.” You smiled hoping it sounded somewhat normal. He was so much more handsome than the photos he sent through the years. How was that possible? Wasn’t it supposed to go the other way? You continued once your head finally could form coherent sentences, “Well it’s actually Captain now. Got promoted a couple weeks ago.”

He turned his head to the side just slightly, “You didn’t tell me that.” Almost looking offended you hadn’t told him.

“Never felt like the right time to divulge. With this mission and all. Had to keep you locked in.” You looked up to him now studying his face as you gained more courage talking to him. He was something your dreams couldn’t make up.

He nodded not daring to take his eyes off you. He too thought you were even prettier than he could have envisioned. You’d sent pictures and he’d followed your social media, but nothing could’ve prepared him. Especially in your civilian clothes, he was a sucker already. Deep down Jake knew you were the reason he was so non-committal before. He was looking for somebody just like you and couldn’t find her. Yet here you stood in front of him. You were so funny and witty and smart, and yet he couldn’t put it all into words. You are the whole package and so much more.

“You still could’ve told me. We talked enough before I left.” He grinned seeing that the tension was already easing from your shoulders.

You shook your head, “Wasn’t about me Seresin. I just wanted you to stay focused and safe. And thank goodness you did.” You admitted a little more than you wanted, but he just made you feel so gushy. Like you were a sweeter version of yourself you could hardly recognize. And the words just kept flowing out when he gave you that look with those green eyes.

“Oh yeah?” He challenged you a bit sensing that you were starting to feel a bit more comfortable with him already, “Didn’t think you’d be so relieved darlin’.”

Ignoring the sweet term of endearment you shook your head, “And waste six years of my life on nothing? Jake that’s so inefficient. Of course, I want you safe.” The words came fast, and they were snarkier than you intended. But you truly couldn’t help it.  He had you relaxed within the first five minutes of talking to him. You felt like you could just be you.

He threw his head back in laughter. That same weight had lifted right off his shoulders when you snapped back at him like he was waiting on it, “There she is. My favorite mouthy girl.”

He said it so nonchalantly you thought your heart was going to combust on the spot. Your cheeks surely gave way to your reaction to his words. His favorite mouthy girl? Christ. He was trying to send you into a coma or something! Your brain quite literally short circuited as it failed to form any coherent sentence. He only chuckled in response seeing your cheeks heat up in a blazing blush.

“It’s so nice to actually see you in person. You know I’ve always told you this, but it rings even truer even now. You’re quite a stunner, Captain.” His eyes met yours before you looked away quickly feeling as though you were going to faint at those words. You weren’t sure how this interaction was going to go initially. But you really didn’t think he’d come right out and say that he found you stunning. The occasional letter and texts in between had grown flirtier the longer you had known him, but it never crossed your mind he’d be so outright with it.

You turned away out of sheer bashfulness. Never had a man been so bold with you before. It was foreign. Not uncomfortable, no. Nothing could be with him. He made it easier than seemed possible.

“You flatter me Jake.” You grinned up at him hoping your makeup would hide the darkening of your cheeks, “I should say the same for you. Handsome as ever.”

“Now you’re making me blush, Cap.” Sure as hell the faintest pink dusted his cheek, but he seemed much stronger than you. He kept the eye contact going.

You shook your head trying to bite back the big smile you had on your face, but it showed through anyway. How was he doing this? Making you feel so giddy just by looking at him. You knew this man but for the first time it actually felt like you might actually love him. You’d had the deepest conversations with him. When you needed a laugh you texted him. When you craved advice you called him. He was the guy you turned to. And it dawned on you that he never failed to answer you. He wanted to take your calls and answer your texts. He looked forward to it. He too had fallen for a woman he’d never met before.

You needed the change the subject and fast or more words would be tumbling out, “How was the mission? Everyone make it out okay?” You asked having no idea what you were getting yourself into. Jake hadn’t told you much about what they were doing, couldn’t tell you much. But now that it was over he couldn’t wait to tell you every nitty gritty little detail.

“I’ll tell you if you let me buy you a drink?” He gave you a smirk that sent nerves racing throughout your body. Jesus. This man was something else.

Giving him a curious once over you nodded, “Shouldn’t I be the one buying you a drink sailor? You coming home and all?”

“Absolutely not. I’ll never let you buy me a drink darlin’.”

Gosh, Jake was actually going to be the death of you. He was so good making his words come off so easily. You felt terribly high strung next to him, “And why not?”

“Because I’m trying to woo you sweetheart. When I get you to go on a date with me I have to impress you. Inevitably that’ll work and you’ll become my girlfriend. And I can’t have my girlfriend paying for my drinks, no. And it’ll only get worse when I get the pleasure of marrying you. If my wife thinks she’ll pay for a thing she had another thing coming.” He gleamed at you as if he didn’t just say all of that.

You gulped before a stupid smile grew on your face. Of course, you knew he was forward but again, he just took you on an entirely new adventure with that statement, “That’s quite a bold statement Jake.”

He shrugged, “I thought I should make my intentions perfectly clear. I think you’re one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. And you’re perfectly you. Sharp as tack. Funnier than ever. You’re you. And I really like you.”

You let out a breath not sure if you really believed all of that, “So not just pals, huh?” It was all you could think of quickly but that did it for him. Sealed the deal. He knew he was going to marry you right then and there. You’d complete him in every way he needed you and vice versa.

He shook his head taking his arm in yours, “Not just pals.” Leaning into his gentle embrace you led him to your car where he would not let you drive. He insisted that it was a gentleman’s job even if he was only running off four hours of sleep. You’d appeased the man who was on his very best behavior. Not that you minded. Nope, not at all. You were thrilled that Jake was exactly who he seemed to be. Your Jake. Not just pals indeed.

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[mvltisstuff]

bring me to life - p.e

summary: when ursula possesses y/n to make her try and trap ariel, eric knows somethings off.

prince eric x reader

a/n: this is so humbling but he’s actually the finest man i’ve ever seen

the day ariel sacrificed her voice for legs, it was bound to go to hell. the only thing she wanted in life was to be with the humans, sick of being confined to the ocean. the deal she made with ursula is that she needed approval from the royals in three days. she begged to understand their world, and after she met y/n and eric, she fell in love with the above world.

they were the most gracious and accepting people on the island. they strolled around with her, y/n helping her get dressed and ready, and eric showing her his collections. she never knew that the love from land was so strong until she spent the days with them.

eric glowed around y/n, ariel noticing the bright beam on his face when she came around. he talked about her like an angel, or someone from another perfect universe. ariel knew the look in his eyes, the one of full of mesmerize. ariel quickly found out that it was very mutual, y/n being so fond of eric. her love for him was stronger than the waves, and ariel knew it.

toward the end of the second day, y/n was running around the castle with eric, fooling around with ariel before being scolded by grimsby. most nights, y/n and eric go to bed together, falling asleep as he holds her. tonight was different. the air was stiff, making y/n’s anxiety peak. she decided to take a walk down to the beach to hear the waves and see the water, hopefully calming her down. the ocean was calm from the night winds, but as she sat on the rocks, it started getting harsher. the wind was blowing her hair around, as well as causing the waves to crash around her.

ursula knew the exact weak point in eric and in ariel. meeting y/n and taking her as a friend made her a perfect target to destroy ariel’s life. for eric, y/n’s the most loved. every part of her and her mind is completely admired by eric. ursula knows they’ll listen to y/n, doubting themselves too much. so, if she could convince y/n that ariel isn’t good enough, maybe she had a shot.

“oh, child,” the eerie voice rolls through the water, making y/n move her head around trying to spot it. “a sleepless night?”

“w-who are you?” she questions, stepping away from the rock, leaving only her feet in the wet sand. she’s fully alarmed by the sight in front of her. she’s never seen something like this, leaving cold chills down her spine.

“you’ve never heard of the sea witch?” y/n nervously shakes her head naively. “it means you should listen to me, sweetheart.”

y/n’s hands remain at her side, playing with the seams of her dress. her breathing deepens, coming out more sharp in panic of the creature in front of her.

“that little ariel,” ursula begins. “is no good for this world. and i need your help to bring her back to me.”

“i can’t,” y/n whispers as she walks back further. “i can’t help you.”

“i know you can,” ursula puts her hand out and y/n cringes at the noises of her tentacles on the sand.

the sounds of y/n’s quick breaths and the swishing of ursula’s many arms has become the only thing on the beach. “n-no, no,” y/n demands. “i won’t do this.”

“fine, then!” ursula sighs. as y/n attempts to run away, hurrying out of ursula’s sight, her tentacles grip onto her sides, pulling her closer. y/n tries to yank them off, but they stick to her dress and her skin like hot glue. the air gets tighter around her, using every ounce of energy to escape the grasp of the sea witch. “i’ll just have to make you.”

the words makes y/n’s mind freeze, placing horror into her mind. she thinks about eric, wishing he were here to save her. it was too late, he was out cold in their bed, where they should be together. she knew no one was coming to save her. before she knew it, ursula cracked open a bottle, the smokey substance inside fading into y/n as she breathed it in. her irises flicked between hues of purple from ursula’s spell before returning back to the normal color. ursula knew she must leave, so y/n was left on the sand, marks on her dress as she lay on the cold ground of the beach, unconscious.

eric wakes in the morning early, prepared to explore more with y/n and collect more treasures. he rolls over to place his hand on her, but it only sinks down and he is confronted with the empty bed sheets. he immediately gets up, putting on the normal clothes as he heads downstairs to look for his love.

“grimsby!” he shouts. “have you seen y/n?”

“no, i haven’t. was she not in bed?”

“maybe she went out to the villages with ariel?”

“ariel’s upstairs, sire,” grimsby informs. eric starts to get more fearful, anything could have happened to her. his life dream used to be to explore the ocean, but now it’s just to keep y/n safe. as long as she’s with him, he’s happy. if anyone ever attempted to hurt her, there would be a new version of himself.

he walked the streets and halls of the castle with no sight of y/n. he stormed through the rooms, requesting help from guards and anyone who was free to search. every single time that anyone came back to say she wasn’t found, his heart broke off a piece.

he decided to roam down to the beaches, just in case she had made her way down here and forgotten to say something. when he spotted a bundle of soft hair, the same color as y/n’s, he sprinted over and fell on his knees in the sand.

“y/n?” he asks, placing his hands on her cheeks to straighten her head. “hey, y/n!”

her eyes flutter open, and eric immediately catches on. she doesn’t seem disoriented, she doesn’t seem alarmed. she’s different. her eyes are darkened and her expression seems uncanny. eric shivers at the look of her, he knows somethings wrong than just a fall on the beach. “are you alright, darling?”

“i’m fine,” she replies. “where’s red?”

y/n walks through the castle, leaving chaos and destruction in her path. she’s messed up the organization, and touching everything she sees. she does it with a smirk on her face as well, knowing exactly the plan.

in her head, only ursula stands, controlling her words and thoughts as y/n feels barricaded. she feels like she’s in a prison of her own mind, not being able to escape and work for herself. it’s like she’s become a puppet of the sea, saying and doing what the monsters please.

there was a party in honor of eric tonight, the queen just being thrilled that he’s home safe. it was also a way to welcome ariel to their customs, and help her get settled into the community. she hadn’t gotten her answer if she was fully accepted yet, but that wasn’t enough for ursula. if ariel wasn’t hers at the end of this, she might just have to take y/n. it’s hard work to make a bad impression of someone so genuine like ariel.

y/n walks into the party, dressed in a slim corset and purple dress as she walks onto the outdoor floor. she looks at ariel, with a toothy smirk on her face. eric spots her, making note of y/n’s watery eyes and red cheeks. somethings terribly wrong with y/n, and he doesn’t know how to save her from it.

“your majesty,” y/n says to the queen. “i need to have a word with you.”

“of course, y/n,” she places a hand on her shoulder, walking over to a corner as eric follows behind them.

“i believe that girl is not safe for this island. all the destruction and disrespect in this castle is a result of her,” eric walks in, overhearing y/n’s words and being confused. she adored ariel, and there was no way she was saying this alone.

“mother-” eric speaks, his mother putting up her hand to him. even the queen can notice something wrong with y/n’s demeanor. her features are sharper, leaving a more intimidating look to her. normally, she looks sweet and welcoming, but now she’s started to look mischievous.

“y/n, im sure it is a misunderstanding what’s happened, but- y/n, miss?”

y/n’s eyes are glued on the orange skies, looking at the sun sinking closer to the horizon. her face glows a golden tint from the light and she moves to look at the ocean. eric grabs her hand, but she swipes it away and walks past everyone. ariel has a frightened look on her face, thinking of how to save herself from scrutiny. unfortunately, as the sun dips below the line between the ocean and the sky, ariel stumbles to the floor as eric scurries to help her up.

“you’re too late!” y/n cries, smiling but also with tears. she runs over to ariel, grabbing onto her arms and yanking her off the ground. they struggle over to the balcony before ursula pops up, grabbing the two girls and diving into the water.

eric watches as his friend and his sweet girlfriend fall into the water. he’s taken aback by the tail revealed, but he needs y/n to be safe first. he got in his boat and rowed out to sea, impacting with the sharp waves and abruptness. he spotted ursula with ariel and triton under the surface, but no y/n. he panics, turning into fight mode as he tries to impale ursula with a sword. he just grazes her, just angering the creature as she sends her eels up to him. even as he’s actually attacked, he just wants to find y/n before anything else.

the battle with ursula felt like a scene from a movie. it was like it lasted days, painful, exhausting days of torment from the witch. even after he swam up to shore, y/n was nowhere to be found.

“get a boat!” eric pants. “we need to find y/n, i need to find her.”

“eric,” the queen says.

“mother, i need her-“

“relax, first, eric. we will find her. we have people out already looking for her,” she tries to comfort her son who’s in the water, discombobulated from all he’s been through today. he stared at the water, remaining on shore but still lost at sea. y/n could be anywhere and it’s out of his control.

with every last morsel of strength y/n had left, she managed to force herself to swim to shore. she lay on the hot sand, absorbing the cold water from her hair and her dress. her eyes felt like she was looking through a dirty eyeglass, the ache in her head blurring her vision. her head had one too many impacts, leaving her with a thumping pain. once she landed there, rolling onto her back to let the sun beat on her face, she couldn’t make herself stand. her muscles were overworked and weary. the warmth of the sun encapsulated her body, leaving her to dry from the soak of the sea.

eric stormed through the beaches, despite the complaints from the queen. he wasn’t going to let her escape him again and be taken. she was just an innocent person, someone who didn’t deserve the wrath of ursula.

ariel herself felt scared. she never was able to experience the same emotions as humans, until she connected with y/n. she knew ursula too well to miss her tricks. y/n would have never done that to her under any circumstance. she admired y/n on the island. ariel had discovered the disappearance of y/n, and took matters into her own hands. she explored the oceans anywhere that she could’ve fallen to, but she eventually washed up to a small island, too far from the shore of eric’s island.

she could see the floating of y/n’s dress in the high tide. she saw the swishes of hair on the ground, covered in grains of sand. she rapidly flipped her fins, pushing herself onto the sand to grab onto y/n. she swam with the unconscious body quickly to the shore of the main island, leaving her on the dry land as she returned back to the waves.

even as time passed, eric was still searching frantically, looking like a lunatic on the beaches. he didn’t stop until he was forced to by his mother, succumbing to her orders to get back in the castle. he was observed and checked out in the medical wing to make sure he wasn’t hurt too severely.

he heard shuffling in the halls, the passing of guards and orders. “alert the prince,” one says, making eric’s head perk up. it wasn’t until grimsby whipped the door open, walking in to greet eric.

“sire,” he pants. “we’ve found y/n.”

eric stands up, his face falling straight as he swiftly moved down the hallways. his footsteps ricochet through the tall passages, skipping up the stairs and seeing y/n in a small bed. her hair was tied back with a white bandage wrapped around her head.

he pauses, taking in the sight of his one and only, vulnerable and hurt on the bed. his chest rises and sinks in long breaths. he doesn’t know if he can handle looking at her sleeping body, she looks too peaceful for him to be comfortable.

as the servants cleared out of the room, eric sat beside her on the bed. he grabbed her hand as she fluttered awake, stretching her body out with a grimace on her face. “eric?”

“yes,” he whispers. “i’m here, it’s alright.”

“i don’t understand what happened, it was all so fast and then ariel-“

“shh, you’re going to be ok now,” he reassures her, running a hand on her cheek.

“but where is ariel? she dropped me off on the shoreline and i didn’t see her again,” y/n questions, fearing for her friend. when she looks behind eric, she hears a soft, gracious knock on the doors as ariel steps in in her blue dress. she has a dim smile on her lips as y/n tells her. “come in, please, ariel.”

she steps into the room, looking around at the mysterious objects in this part of the castle. the couple smiles at the curious girl until she makes her way over to y/n on the bed. “i found you on an island on the outland. it was further from the shipwreck than we were.”

“thank you,” y/n smiles, grabbing ariel’s hand and placing her other one on top of them. she looks around, her expression changing to confusion. “i guess i’ll address the problem in the room. your legs have returned.”

“my father gave me the gift of staying here with you. i’m meant to be on land, and i’ve finally been heard. i couldn’t have done any of this without you. you showed me kindness and never once treated me like i was unordinary, even though i am.”

“you don’t need to ask for respect around here,” y/n says. ariel thanks her one last time, before moving out of the room.

“you have no idea how happy i am that you’re alright,” eric remarks, shuffling closer to y/n’s body. “i was so scared i lost you.”

“i know,” y/n replies. “but you’ll never lose me, eric.” he leans forward, placing a sweet kiss on her lips as a token of gratitude.

“we’re meant to be together until the sky falls, my love.”

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

vacancy (between your legs)

pairing: chris x reader (imagining this with re6 or re8 chris)

cw: hate sex (they actually don't hate each other tho), oral, p in v, some degradation, incredible confidence in the pull-out method lmao

summary: you are on chris' squad and he's the captain, but you have the hots for him, so you push his buttons on purpose. when you bicker in your motel room, one thing leads to another and...

a/n: idk? i wasn't gonna post this bc i posted hate sex w/ leon, but what am i gonna do? leave it in the drafts? no

wc: 1.8k

It’s a dingy motel, but it looks like paradise when you’ve spent the last two weeks in a tent. At least they have running water. You get your own room because you’re the girl in the group, which everyone bemoans. You’re just one of the guys to them, at least, when it comes down to choosing how to delegate the beds. Chris lets you have your own room. He’s still the Captain, though, so when he asks if he can use your shower, you agree, avoiding the argument. When he exits the shower - just a towel wrapped around his waist, something you’re trying hard to ignore - he’s grumbling about how you used up all the hot water, and it doesn't really matter if that’s true or not because you’re both on edge and likely to explode at each other at any opportunity.  

“Wow, can’t believe you have the audacity to ask me to use my shower in my room and then complain that I used the hot water?” You’re only somewhat irritated with him, but your words are laced with bitterness. 

“Are you serious right now? I’m the boss here, and I could just as well kick you out of this room and have it to myself.”

He’s right, but it’s not fair. More importantly, you’re agitated. Exhaustion? Hunger? Pent-up sexual frustration that threatens to break now that the man you’ve been drooling over for years is almost naked in front of you?

“So what? You want me to say thank you, Chris, sorry, I mean, Captain, for being so, so nice to me.”

You know how much he hates being called by his first name out in the field, so you taunt him with it on purpose.

“Why do you insist on pushing my buttons?”

“You started it!”

“Are you a fucking child? Because you’re acting like one.” 

Chris would rarely fight a woman, but you’re not any woman. You’re constantly bitching at him, going against his orders, and you’re sexy as hell when you’re mad. Plus, he’s seen you fight - verbally and physically - and metaphorically, you’re entirely within his weight class. 

“You’re the one who started complaining, that’s all I’m saying. Can you just leave me alone? I’m stressed enough as it is.” “You think you’re the only one? I’m trying to keep my cool because one of us has to, and you don’t know how to hold your tongue.”

“Don’t keep your cool, then. Hit me with it.”

You’re not even into degradation. You just like the way his voice gets deeper, more gravely when he’s pissed off. 

“You’re a bitch, you’re a brat, you’re self-entitled, too stubborn to admit when you’re wrong, and you’re a goddamn pain in my ass.”

“Is that all? I thought you could be nastier than that.”

“Nasty? You want me to play nasty, huh? I would say that since you can’t do field work and you can’t do desk work, then maybe you’d be more useful on your knees under the desk, but you know what? More than anything, you’re disobedient, so I doubt you’d even be able to take cock like a good girl.”

“Sorry that I don’t fulfill your perfect submissive fantasies. Doesn’t mean I’m not any good on my knees.”

“Really? Then prove it.”

“That’s what you want?” 

Both of you are running on auto-pilot, completely enraptured by the thrill of anger and arousal. He wants to sink his teeth into your skin and you want to drag your nails down his. Flesh on flesh, hot and sweaty. The closest you’d ever been to sex was sparring. He had you pinned to the mat. You needed to pick a different partner because you couldn’t learn when you got dizzy every time you tried to train with Chris. 

“Yeah, I’ll give it a trial run, see if it’s worth it, and maybe if you can satisfy me, you can still have a job working for me.”

You stand there for a moment, stunned into silence, working on forming a sentence, but no words come out. Chris raises an eyebrow, looking you up and down. He isn’t backing down from your proposition. If it were any other man, you would walk out the door - not before spitting in his face or kneeing him in the balls, but this is Chris, this is different. 

You’ve wanted to sleep with him since the day you met him. You butted heads constantly because you were both stubborn and happened to be on different sides of every issue. Also, you learned early on that you got more attention for being obnoxious, so as long as you weren’t out in the field, in a life-threatening scenario, you intentionally pushed his buttons. He almost caught onto your little charade once. 

“How are you able to cooperate out in the field, but in the office, you have to argue with every word that comes out of my mouth?”

He’d gotten real in your face with that one. Hand on the desk next to him, cornering you so you couldn’t scurry away (not like you ever would). Most girls would’ve apologized to scary Captain Redfield, but not you. You went home and immediately grabbed your vibrator from your bedside table and replayed the conversation. 

He’s winning, but he was always going to win. You’re playing a long game that he isn’t privy to, one that you’d always lose. 

You sink to your knees. You’re a little sad that he doesn’t make you beg for it, but you go ahead with undoing his belt and getting his pants down his thighs. You presumed that he would be big - you thought you’d caught a glimpse of the bulge in his pants once, but you couldn’t be sure, and what were you gonna do? Ask him? 

Once he’s down to only his underwear, your suspicions are confirmed. It’s a little intimidating, actually. Do or die. You take his dick out, only to find out that it barely fits in your hand. Sure, your hands are small, but you can hold a handgun. You struggle with bigger guns (and bigger dicks as it turns out). You lazily stroke him, looking up into his eyes, and he looks pleased - smug, really. For once, it feels like you’re on the same team. You’re both winning when his cock is down your throat. The only courtesy he gives you is a makeshift ponytail so you don’t get hair in your mouth. He doesn’t give you an ounce of sympathy when you choke. You look prettiest with tears in your eyes. He knows you’ll smack him on the thigh if you want him to stop - and you hit hard. 

Not today. You suppress your gag reflex and breathe through your nose. It isn’t the hardest thing you’ve done today. You fought off a horde of zombies that morning - sucking dick is nothing. You’re not new to either. 

You’re about to break Chris’ composure. You feel him throb in your mouth. But he pulls away in time. You won’t win that easily. Maybe you are still fighting.

You stand up, still in a haze. 

“Are you just gonna stand there or are gonna strip?”

You walk backwards to the bed and let him follow you. You rid yourself of your shirt and pants on the way there. You sit down and take off your bra without breaking eye contact. You spread your legs before taking off your panties and start to touch yourself while he watches. He tries to hide how much the show you’re giving him affects him. 

You can tell he’s flustered when he pushes you onto the bed and says “Save the theatrics.” You think he’s going to kiss you, but instead he bites your bottom lip. Two can play the teasing game. You grab his face and pull him into a kiss and he lets you. 

He rubs his cock along your folds and says, “Are you always this wet?”

Around him? Yes, actually. You’re too wet for words now, so you’re lucky it’s rhetorical. 

He hesitates. Neither of you thought to bring condoms on a mission. 

“Just pull out,” you say, “if you can.”

“Trust me, I’ve been in this game longer than you’ve been alive-”

“Slut,” you say under your breath. 

“Me? You’re the one who’s spent the past year trying to get me to fuck you.”

You go slack-jawed. One, because the cocktail of pleasure and pain you feel when he slips inside you is heavenly and two because you realize he’s known you wanted this the whole time. 

“How’d you know?” you try to ask, but it comes out less than inteligible, covered by a strangled moan. 

“Like I said, I’ve been doing this a long time. Your little act was obvious.”

Seems like it worked out in your favor. Too bad you’re getting pounded into the mattress and can’t get out a clever retort. Your brain is useless, you’ve lost all words besides his name. 

“I would’ve fucked you a long time ago if I’d known you feel this fucking good.” 

He lifts your legs up, and puts them over his shoulders. Your moans are almost screams. The pleasure is overwhelming. 

“Do you ever shut up? What’s everyone else gonna think when they hear you?”

They’re definitely going to hear you. It’s a good thing you don’t care. 

Chris’ hand wraps around your throat, but he waits until you nod - immediately, enthusiastically - to press his fingers down. You feel oddly safe knowing that he knows how to choke you out - you assume it means he also knows how to avoid choking you out. The pressure restricts your airways just enough to make you feel lightheaded. 

You’re finally a little quieter. For once, he liked you loud. Your constant complaints are a nuisance to his eardrums, but your moans are gorgeous. Chris’ other hand plays with your clit, bringing you closer to your peak. 

You have to cum first. There’s a split second where he worries you won’t and you’ll drag him over the edge first, forcing him to cum inside you. The disobedient bratty side of you takes over and you do try to hold out, you clench your inner walls just to watch his self-restraint falter. But the sight of him above you, his heavy breathing, swears muttered through gritted teeth, the feeling of him buried to the hilt inside you - it’s too much. 

Your back arches off the bed, your legs tremble and you soak the sheets as your orgasm takes you by surprise. Chris barely pulls out in time, cumming on your stomach as you try to catch your breath. You’re still shaking when he falls on the bed next to you. 

“Goddammit,” he sighs, “you’re great in the field and in the bedroom.”

“Roger that, Captain.”

He laughs. “I never thought I’d say this, but please, just call me ‘Chris’.”

“I’ll remember that for round two.”

[chvrrycola]

DOMESTIC BLISS W MINGYU

word count: 1.0k

warnings: brief mention of breakfast ?

currently listening to: replay (PM 01:27) by nct 127

you sighed as you remembered the frustrating phone conversation with your mother last night. another call, another set of not-so-subtle comments asking if the day would ever come when you’d be the one calling her up with the highly anticipated news that your long-term boyfriend had finally proposed.

it wasn’t that you resented her for asking, or at least, you hadn’t the first time. and really you knew that you were lucky that your parents liked mingyu so much, and that they were so eager to have him as a part of the family.

you couldn’t blame them for wanting him as their son-in-law either. he was a perfect boyfriend, and you had no reason to believe he would be any less perfect as a husband. he always offered to cook for you, washed the dishes even when he did and was always amazing with your nieces and nephews. 

truth be told, he was already a fixture in your family. there wasn’t a doubt in anybody’s mind that he’d be sticking around for a long time, and, to them, that was just fuel to the question of why he wasn’t asking you to marry him at the first opportunity.

but, to you, the bliss that filled your home was all the more reason not to change anything. you didn’t feel the need to wear a ring to solidify your bond or ease your nerves about his fidelity. you didn’t have any nerves, and your bond was as tight as any of your friends and their partners’, even the ones who had been married for years. 

the pressure to take a step that felt unnecessary weighed you down everytime you spoke to your parents and, even though he had been out while you were on the phone, once he came downstairs and saw you staring aimlessly at the kitchen cabinets mingyu figured out what your evening had contained.

‘good morning sweetheart,’ he whispered, voice still thick with sleep as he kissed the top of your head.

you couldn’t muster more than an ‘mmh’ for your response, still largely immersed in replaying the conversation from the night before.

‘tea or coffee?’ he asked, continuing with his morning as he waited for you to come back to the moment in your own time.

‘tea, please,’ you replied, lips barely moving as your gaze stayed fixed on the cupboard. he came into your line of sight to grab a mug for each of you, bending down so you’d be focused on his face as he waved like a child.

you blinked a few times and apologised, stretching to try and alert your body to where you actually were.

‘how was your evening?’ your question was directed at his back as he leant over the counter making your drinks, but you were curious to hear about it as you’d been fast asleep when he returned. 

‘better than yours by the look of things,’ he responded, turning with your tea in hand before sitting down opposite you, ‘more of the same?’

you just nodded, feeling no obligation to bore mingyu with the ins and outs of your bickering yet again. he only raised his eyebrows, silently encouraging you to actually say whatever it was you were thinking about.

when you didn’t offer more detail, however, he stood up and walked over to where you were sitting and, still standing behind you, wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

‘you know i’d ask you to marry me right here, right now if that’s what you wanted, right?’

you only nodded again, his words hitting a chord and causing tears to brim in your eyes. 

‘hey, that’s not the reaction i was hoping for,’ he said softly, pulling your chair out and crouching down in front of you, his hand coming up to stop the tears that had started rolling down your cheek.

‘i’ll do whatever you wanna do, i’ll just follow your lead, yeah? if all this is getting too much then i’ll take you to the registry office this afternoon and we can be married just like that, if that would make you happy. or, because i’m certain that won’t make you happy, we can go back to bed and enjoy it just being us two and not worry about whatever your mum said to you last night?’

at your apparent preference of the latter option, mingyu took your hands and pulled you to your feet, before turning and encouraging you to hop on his back so he could carry you back up to bed. 

you allowed yourself to nestle your face into his shoulder as he carried you, noticing the light marks the tracks of your tears had left on his shirt.

once you were back in your room, mingyu carefully dropped you on your bed before flopping down next to you and laying his head on your chest. 

‘your mum doesn’t know what’s best for us. she thinks she does, but i guess she doesn’t realise that we’re complete just as we are. it’s not like we’re just too afraid to fight some final boss or something.’

he chuckled at his own joke, the feeling of the air rushing through his body causing more pressure on yours, and your hands moved to reach for his hair.

‘i love you,’ you finally told him, hoping that he would feel your gratitude through the three simple words. he raised his head so that he could look at you, before pushing his weight up onto his hands so he could move to kiss the edge of your mouth, allowing you to make out ‘i know’ just from the movement of his lips against your skin.

‘i love you too,’ he eventually sighed in response as he rested his head back on your chest and closed his eyes, knowing that neither of you could ask for anything more.

[lykaios2]

Mikey x reader right?

ik this a cliche, but Mikey gets turned into a lil tot.

After a day Mikey still didn't turn back and reader is concerned, but the turts have a mission so they are doing this on their own.

throughout the whole thing, the realize how manipulative Mikey really is, but they don't mind cuz he's cute- reader is like a mom the whole time, wpoling him and shi.

mid snacktime(1day later) Mikey turns back as he is begging for cuddles. everything is awkward, w/ reader holding a cup of applesauce and pea-tos in their hands.

"can we PLEASE have cuddles? I promiiiii*turns back with a poof*- ok what the hell. is that peatos?"

*reader just standing in the middle of the kitchen*

enjoy(u request beggar, I need sum too)

-ya gurl chip❤️❤️

oml this was a nightmare to write for no reason at all other than my brain couldn't process this request ;-;

anyway I tried my best

hope you enjoy! ❤️

The Troubles of Turning to a Tot

mikey x reader (platonic? romantic? idk)

“I’m telling you, Raph, my head is killing me!”

“Whatever, dude. Let’s just go.”

Ah, the privilege of being the youngest. He could get nearly anything he wanted if he begged hard enough. He laughed as they left, his scheme working once again. He went to his room and grabbed his comics, flopping on his bed and flipping through the pages. He wasn’t normally the type to just sit back and let his brothers do the work, but he couldn’t help but take advantage of his younger sibling privilege once or twice in a while.

“Yo! Orange! Where are you?!” Your shouts echoed throughout the lair. Much to Mikey’s surprise, you were paying him a visit.

“I ain’t telling you, because my name isn’t Orange!” He hated the nickname. You had heard Splinter call him that one time, and you still wouldn’t drop it.

“Whatever, I’ll find you in like two minutes.”

~~~~~~~

“Dude, no way.”

“I know! It’s so easy!” Mikey again relished in the fact of how easy it was to get his brothers to do almost anything he wanted. “They fall for it almost every time.”

“One of these days, one of them is gonna figure out that this is BS.”

“They probably already have. But it’s either letting me stay home, or hearing me whine the whole time.”

You only sighed in response to his stupid loophole logic. How did you ever come to love this trainwreck of a turtle man?

“Ugh...now that I mention it, though, my head does kind of actually hurt.” He got up and started pacing a little, holding his head.

“Haha, very funny.” You weren’t stupid, Mikey had just told you about how he used this trick on his brothers. Plus, he was quite the prankster anyway, so there was not a doubt in your mind that he was joking. He said his stomach was upset as well, but you weren’t phased. You had seen before how far Mikey was willing to go for the bit. What really raised an eyebrow was when he sat down on the floor in the fetal position. Whenever he started going a little too far like this, you prepared yourself in case something was actually going wrong. You still weren’t fully convinced, though.

“y/n...could you grab me some water from the refrigerator? Whatever’s going on with me, it kinda sucks...”

“Oh sure, what now? I’m gonna open the refrigerator and a boxing glove will come out, sending me comically flying to the other end of the kitchen.” You joked, but at this point, if he started doing anything else, you were going to start taking action.

“Ow...please...y/n...the pain…” He groaned. You quickly got up from your seat and walked over to the cupboards, looking for a cup. While your back was turned, you could hear a loud *poof* come from behind you.

“Aw, come on, Mikey. What is this, a smoke bomb?” You said, waving away the strange  clouds that had appeared behind you. “...Mikey?”

No response. You walked into the cloud of smoke to find...a child? That also looked like a turtle?

“Uh...Mikey?” You looked around, trying to figure out where the turtle had gone. Instead, the child looked up at you and responded.

“Hi! That’s me, Mikey! But what’s your name?”

You stood there, dumbfounded. Was Mikey...a kid now? How had that even happened? Something gave you the feeling that this wasn’t a prank anymore…

~~~~~~~

“So let me get this straight...you’re Mikey, but now you’re kid. You know where you are, but you don’t know who I am. But you know your brothers.”

“Yup!”

You sat in the living room now. You had finally figured out what in the world was going on, but still had no clue how. At this point, the only thing you could do was keep him safe until his brothers came back.

“Well...I guess I have to, like, take care of you.” Mikey gasped and smiled.

“You’re gonna watch me until my brothers get back? Yay! We’re gonna have so much fun! Come on, let’s go!” Mikey ran off, leaving you in the living room alone.

“Hey! Get back here”

~~~~~~~

You had heard stories about how rambunctious Mikey had been as a child. But actually having to take care of him was another thing. He had an impossible amount of energy. He was constantly running around and climbing everywhere. You had never had to watch a kid like this before.

“Mikey! Get back here, you have food all over your face!” He just kept running away, giggling all the while. “How are you so fast?!”

He also had no sense of danger, which meant he got hurt a lot more. Or so you thought, until one time when Mikey tripped and fell, and he started to scream and cry.

“My knee is bleeding! It hurts!”

“Oh goodness, again? Let me grab you another bandaid...” You walked out of the room to get another bandaid for Mikey, when you heard his crying stop. You peeked your head back to find Mikey sitting on the floor completely silent. No crying, not even a single tear. And his knee wasn’t even bleeding. He was completely fine!

“You little liar!” He whipped his head around, shocked to see you. “You weren't hurt at all! You just wanted to...actually, why did you do that?”

He wouldn’t say a word, too afraid to get in trouble. He crossed his arms and turned away from you, refusing to tell the truth. He only spoke after you promised to not tell Splinter so he wouldn’t get in trouble.

“I…I wanted a cool bandaid. I really like the bandaids. But Dad says that we should only use them when we’re really hurt.”

You sighed. Mikey just wanted a bandaid...but he lied for it? Was he really this mischievous of a child? But he also just lied to his brothers…

“We’re gonna have a talk about this later…” You commented under your breath, before speaking to Mikey again. At this point, it was getting late, and you were exhausted. “I have an idea...why don’t we go lay down and watch a movie?” Mikey, ashamed that he  had been caught in his lie, nodded and got up to walk to the living room.

~~~~~~~

Mikey passed out almost immediately. He denied ever being tired, but his eyelids kept drooping lower and lower. He slumped over onto you as he slowly grew more and more sleepy. Looking down at him, he looked pretty adorable when he was actually sitting still, asleep.

“Not tired, huh? Heh, that’s what they all say.” You looked around again for any sign of his brothers, but there was nothing. “Guess I gotta put you to bed then.”

You hoisted him up into your arms. He was heavier than you expected, but he was a turtle mutant. Not exactly a normal child. You carried him to his bedroom, laying him down on his bed. You almost walked away, but not before Mikey grabbed your arm in his sleep, pulling you back.

The little gesture melted your heart, making you completely forget what had happened earlier. You smiled and laid down next to him, letting him have his way. He wrapped himself around your arm, making sure you knew you weren’t allowed to leave.

You laid a blanket over him, and closed your eyes. Next thing you knew, you were fast asleep, right next to Mikey.

~~~~~~~

“y/n...I’m thirsty.”

“Right...of course you are. Come on, then.”

“I don’t want to go. The monster will get me.”

“No it won’t, I’ll protect you.”

“You pinky promise?”

“Yes, I pinky promise.”

~~~~~~~

The next morning, when you woke up, you looked next to you to find Mikey not there. Worried, you frantically got out of the bed and ran to find Mikey. Much to your relief, and also confusion, he was in the living room, watching TV and eating cereal.

“Did you make that yourself? And you put the TV on, too?” you asked, pointing to the bowl of cereal in his hands.

“Yep! I’m a big kid, I can take care of myself.” You shrugged, sitting on the couch next to him. He quietly finished his bowl of cereal, and went to put it in the sink. You thought to yourself that maybe today he would be calm for once. But when Mikey didn’t come back from the kitchen, those thoughts were gone.

~~~~~~~

He was back at it again, hyper as ever. The only difference between yesterday and today was that you knew Mikey’s tricks. You made sure to check if he was really hurt. Thankfully, he never was. On the contrary, he was quite the resilient kid. But he was still rambunctious. You couldn’t ever get him to sit still for more than 30 seconds.

“y/n, I’m hungryyyyy…”

“Didn’t you just eat?”

“Yeah, but I’m hungry again.”

“I’ll go get you some more Goldfish then…”

“No! I want apples.” You groaned.

“Apples, apples, of course…let’s go then.”

You begrudgingly walked to the kitchen, and looked around for some apples to cut up. As you tried to slice the apples, you could feel Mikey tugging on your shirt. “y/n…”

“I’m working on it! Give me a minute…”

“y/n, my tummy hurts.”

“It’s probably because you’re hungry. I’m almost done with the apples.”

“But it’s not like that…my tummy hurts hurts…”

“Well, some food and water should make you feel a little better.”

Mikey nodded, and started clinging to your leg. You could feel him sniffling, and you looked down to see him with tears welling up in his eyes.

“Oh, hey, hey…don’t worry, it’ll be okay…um…” You looked around for anything that could help him, but before you could find anything, you heard a loud *poof* and suddenly Mikey was standing in front of you, his normal self again.

“Oh, hey y/n! You okay, you look a little stressed. And what’s with the apples, you hungry?”

“M-Mikey?”

“Yeah?” You closed your eyes and all but fell over. “Woah! Man down! You need some rest…let’s go sit down, why don’t we? Then maybe you can tell me what’s going on.”

“Please…that would be lovely.”

[ilyuu-archive]

update!

get ready folks this is a rollercoaster of emotions but uh, just to put this out here, it isn’t exactly good news

alright, so i think i’m gonna go ahead and quit writing for this blog. yeah, not exactly the best start to this - you think as a writer i’d know what words to use.

before anything - nope, i am not going to deactivate my blog, next best thing is to archive it since there’s so many memories that i like to at least keep, of my moots and of just a lot of things in general that i like to memorialize and a lot of writings and posts.

i want to keep them here because i want someone, whoever comes across it, to read whichever one and feel some semblance of comfort; that’s the main reason why i made this blog in the first place and that’s how i intend to leave it.

oh uh, yeah, for the reasons why i’m quitting, i can technically list a few :

genshin burnout : i don’t feel as strongly as i do for the game anymore, not as excited, even as fontaine was released, and stopped playing it a few months back. so, y’know, as genshin-centric this blog is, it’s technically a bit hard to try and get into something that you long lost interest for.

school : it’s catching me off-guard every time and even though i found a rhythm with my classes and schedule, it’s only asking for more of my time and, quite literally demanding. i’ll be honest and say that i can’t juggle a blog with a post every day and stay consistent with my schoolwork and what’s expected of me. i need to start thinking about my future.

spiraling thoughts : yup, you read that right; i’m back at it again with me thinking that my writing isn’t good enough and am doubting my skills as a writer as a whole, especially with my way of writing that as his poetic touch to it that’s making me wonder if it’s even worth anything at all.

with that, i think i just need to start writing for myself again because i haven’t felt that feeling for literally a while now.

have i thought about this for a while now? i have actually, somewhere in the middle of august but i was really, really hesitant for a lot of reasons.

said reasons being mainly my moots. i don’t like the ideas of leaving any of them behind at all, especially with them being the main reason why i love opening this app every day, seeing them flood my dash with everything that happened the night before, saying good morning, and seeing them in my notifs and inbox with their chaos and genuineness. i have so many memories here that i consider so dear to me because of each and every one of them, making my day and night, and… i don’t know, it’d suck to lose all of them.

@mikacynth : you were my first moot and i know i’ve mentioned and said this so many times to the point that you’d probably get sick of it but it did and does mean a lot to me knowing that you opened a door for me to meet so many others that made writing and just being on here amazing. you’re just so damn cool, creative, and nice and i’m so, so happy that i met you.

@floraldresvi : i don’t remember how i met you, and i’m so sorry for that vi, but you’re the kindest, absolutely gentle and attentive person i know and i just wonder how i ever got the chance to talk to you and be moots. i wish you nothing but the best because that’s all you deserve and more and you better keep that in mind vi.

@st0pthatsgay : this was a strangers to friends to lovers arc fr!! sorry i couldn’t help that, do you know how long i wanted to make that joke? but seriously, oli, you and your unbridled chaos and energy never fails to make my dash and quite literally everyone else who follows you like a rom-com movie or something; i’m so glad that i can call you a moot and one that i cherish so, so much.

@papiliotao : rei, you made my day whenever you drop in one of your small blurbs into my inbox and i get the space to just write whatever comes to mind; it was a little thing we had and, i don’t know, i loved it. i love it still a lot. it was like a duo we had and always made me smile with whatever we talked about, maybe just about writing in general or the cats that you always see. i’m just sorry that we won’t be able to have our wedding soon. really.

@supernova25 : bestie, i still remember those times about the ai bots!! i still think about them a lot!! it was fun!! in general, you’re always a lot of fun to talk to, and it could be about anything and it’d fly off the roof. also your asks about the most random of things has definitely made me feel better on my worst of days just to put that out there.

@soleillunne : i’d make a joke about you running up for the title of creator of angst and all that but you’ve always been so sweet so let me just push that aside, considerate as well; don’t think i didn’t see you send me links of anything scaramouche related because i do and i appreciate that so much

@hollythius-rising : YOU AND YOUR THEME CHANGES DON’T THINK I DON’T NOTICE THEM you’re also very very sweet and chaotic when it comes to your taste in tall purple men in lab coats but we don’t talk about that aosjksjs just that it’s always been a pleasure to talk to you whenever we have the chance to

@mondaymelon : YOU. we vibe with each other a lot like radio waves and it got me all giddy, and i’d just drop a lot of memes into your inbox just so i could see how you’d react only for you to give me a taste of my own medicine when you do the same thing 100 times more effectiveaisjsjs

@venusflwers : those late nights of playing roblox with you makes me feel so, so happy, you have no idea. it’s filled with crack with whatever you say and you somehow make a horror game feel like some comedy instead i swear; you’re literally the most unhinged and funniest person i met and i love that about you so much

@kazumist : it’s like a parent watching their kid grow up and then completely surpass them in terms of height. yeah, that’s you akiaki!! always frothing over your writing, your drabbles, because it had that soft and domestic feeling to them that i absolutely love to the moon and back

@m1shapanda, @snobwaffles, @vennnnn-diagram : you three are, excuse me for my language, so fucking amazing. i always wanted to talk to you so many times and even when i did, always hoped that we could’ve talked a bit more. misha, you’re so cool and i always wanted to just ramble with you; that and your art is so pretty and soft and just so DAMN COOL did i mention that? snob, you detective, you and your curse arts that make me laugh as much as pour bleach on my eyes (/j), you’re just so supportive and i really like that about you. ven, i wished we could’ve talked a lot more too with how just vibe with everyone so quickly and easily - you’re just as amazing, really.

and to all of my other moots, the same goes to you, even with the ones i didn’t talk to as much - just being moots with you, knowing that someone liked me like i liked them made me feel more belong on here and more a part of something. i’ve never been a part of something like this, and know so many people and to know that i mean something to them? yeah, that really, really means a lot to me.

i’d probably just be a lurker on here than anything… haven’t really thought that far, only that i know that i can’t stay on here any longer without feeling guilty, burdened, stressed, or all of the above. or maybe just start off as a smaller blog again without any sense of obligation because ever since i’ve hit 500, which was a while ago, that’s what this blog started to feel like with each bit of time that passed.

i’ve enjoyed it, of course i did, don’t get me wrong! i’ve just been enjoying it less than i did when i started off, that feeling of accomplishment and joy and pride at myself numbing a bit more with each milestone i passed. that’s just all me though, i’m sure.

anyways, not right now though, maybe just around the weekends when i actually have time to spare. so, until then, i’ll stick around here as much as i can. other than that, i don’t have much else to say other than thank you.

that i hope that you’ll keep doing what you love, whatever that is, despite the highs and lows. just know that the community you’re in is filled with people who love you through and through and that i do too - that you’ll do what you love because you want to, not because you should.

[osarina]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the person whose vibe LITERALLY. encapsulates what hozier writes songs ABOUT <3 (IN THE BEST WAY) !! & DAZAI’S GIRL OFCC; miss carina i hope you’ve had the MOST fantastic day already & this year ‘n on treats you SO SO WELL 🫂🖤 truly u’ve shaken the bsd fandom on here w ur writing & in general such a wonderful person, ENJOY EVERYTHING TONS, fyodor & i showed up w/ the presents to spoil u 🙂‍↕️ (he is forced to pay back what he owed both u & dazai) & i’m giving you another pair of pearl earrings BCZ LOL WE R literally twinning rn i only wear those too !!

if it’s not too much pls do give a little synopsis/scenario excerpt to the BIRTHDAY COMM bcz i am still in awe glancing at it HAHAHAHA

finally, the next time i’ll pop in your inbox i’ll b there to finally express completing waterloo !! srry i am so behind on the bandwagon but it’s only bcz i have put off completing the actual BSD BEAST 😞 i paused halfway thru so i wouldn’t b spoiled, i shall get the courage to do both tho JDJSJ for u; you will get an entire essay no doubt

& GOODLUCK IN UNI SOON TOO !! i start for the first time as well rly soon so i’m hoping this year treats us well & perhaps a lanky brunette man comes along (forces himself into our life) in need of saving on a stormy day ;) LOVE YOU RINA HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN !! ᰔ

REV I'M SIMPLY GOING TO CRY YOU'RE THE SWEETEST EVER, YOU LITERALLY HAVE ME SMILING SO BIG AND MY CHEST FEELS ALL WARM AND FUZZY I LOVE U SM <3333

im giggling imagining fyodor and dazai side-eyeing each other while we sit together chatting, we would both have to keep them in line so they don't start acting up. AND OMGGGG YOU'RE ALSO A PEARL GIRLIE??? i got my first pair from my grandma and ive been obsessed with them since jdfasuhfasfhu i love pearl jewelry

HAHAHAHAHH THE BDAY COMM IM STILL GIGGLING OVER IT - so its set in my pm au actually ihfsuihfauhduf the one ive been writing for a while on here (wykyk) except that i hc that its like a non-canon one where oda didn't die and dazai never left the pm. so dazai & i were pining for like literally 3 years since we were sixteen and then not long before my 19th bday, we finally officially got together. and chuuya was SOOOO sick of it like he's been dealing with both of our dumbasses for 3 years refusing to get together but still blatantly pining for each other. so when we finally got together, he's like UGH finally, but then he realizes that it's worse because we're even MORE insufferable now that we're together. so the comm is set during my 19th bday we're going out for the night and dazai is being dazai and chuuya is SOOOO sick of it but this is the one night he can't say anything so he's just forced to sit there and deal with it LOLLLLL

OMGGGGGG I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO FINISH BEAST AND UU!!!!! i dont blame you for putting it off HAHAHHH the end is so heartwrenching like literally whenever i feel like i need a good cry, i go back to reread beast HAHAHH

AHHHHHH OMG YOU'RE STARTING YOUR FIRST YEAR OF UNI??? THAT'S SO EXCITING!!!! good luck sweet rev, i know you're going to kill it!! if you ever need advice or to just vent about uni, my inbox is always open, i get it 100% - uni can be so stressful but at the same time it's so nice. im dreading my classes starting up again but ive missed everyone there so it will be nice to see them again

THANK YOU AGAIN LOVELY <333 I ADORE YOU

[daily-cookie-masterson]

The Argument - A YDKJ x Vs. Void Crossover Fanfiction

Notes: I’ve been thinking about how A.C. Void and Cookie would be friends… And so, I decided to write a fanfiction of them arguing about something stupid. I need a break from drawing but I still need to update this silly little account, so here we are!

This is simply a funny fanfiction I wrote out of boredom, so don’t take it too seriously please!! Thank you and hopefully you enjoy this fic :]

Tags: You Don’t Know Jack, Vs. Void, AC Void, Cookie Masterson, Crossover Fic, Cookie and Void are friends (i guess), Cookie uses Any/All pronouns, This fic is not meant to be taken seriously, Arguing, The ‘Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich?’ Debate, Author Has Some Regrets, Cursing

It was a normal day in Chicago.

It was a slow day at You Don’t Know Jack Studios, so everybody was pretty much relaxing and enjoying themselves. The host of You Don’t Know Jack, Cookie, was simply scrolling through his phone in his office, while his friend Void (If you could even call him that…) was sitting next to him, thinking deeply about something.

It was… Surprisingly peaceful. The two weren’t really talking to each other at the moment, just doing their own thing. In fact, the only audible sound was the air conditioner going off in Cookie’s office.

Well, that was until Void finally decided to break the silence.

“Y’know what, Cookie? I think I can finally say this without questioning it,” Void said in a confident tone.

Cookie didn’t stop scrolling through her phone, but she did look at Void when he spoke.

“Hmm? What are you talking about?” Cookie questioned.

“I’m just gonna hurry up and say it—I think that a hotdog should qualify as a sandwich.”

Cookie’s head immediately shot up at this comment, making them face Void directly.

“W-What??” Cookie sputtered.

He couldn’t process what Void just said. It was illogical! It was insane! It was unbelievably stupid! Cookie began to feel that his head started hurting trying to even remotely understand why Void said that.

“I said what I said. A hotdog should qualify as a sandwich.” Void continued.

“No, you see— A hotdog is a fucking hotdog. Not a sandwich, Void.” Cookie rebutted in a condescending tone.

“Okay, but by definition, isn’t a sandwich a food that has two slices of bread and ingredients in between?”

“Well, yeah but—”

“See that? You just agreed with me. A hot dog is a sandwich, is it not?”

“No, before you interrupted me, I was going to say that sandwiches have multiple components in them. A hotdog has only the fucking hotdog—”

“Don’t hotdogs have toppings on them sometimes?” Void questioned Cookie.

Cookie had to pause for a second before replying.

“W-Where are you going with this—“

“Hotdogs have toppings on them. Ketchup, mustard, relish, cheese, chili… So on, so forth. And guess what? Sandwiches have toppings, too,” Void smugly stated to Cookie.

Cookie was practically flabbergasted.

Did someone just actually prove Cookie wrong? It was totally absurd. Cookie was always right. Well, at least that's what she thinks.

It wasn’t normal for Cookie to be proved wrong… It was so confusing that it almost physically hurt her. Well, that was until she thought of something…

“B-But, aren’t sandwiches supposed to be vertical??” Cookie desperately countered.

Void just gave Cookie a doubting look as a response. But after doing that, Void then started to think about it for a second.

“Okay… But, with that logic, subs aren’t sandwiches either, aren’t they?” Void smugly stated to Cookie. “I bet you would hate having to admit that, wouldn’t you?”

Cookie just sighed heavily at Void’s smugness.

“Y’know what— Fine. I’ll admit it— Not all sandwiches are vertical. I guess… But, I will say this— Have you ever even seen a sandwich store sell hot dogs before, Void?” Cookie confidently stated.

“Now that I think about it, no, I haven’t—”

“So hot dogs aren’t sandwiches!” Cookie insisted.

Void just scoffed at Cookie’s desperate attempts at proving him wrong.

“No Cookie, sandwich stores don’t refuse to sell hot dogs because hot dogs aren’t sandwiches— Sandwich stores refuse to sell hot dogs because they’re just a bunch of cowards.”

Cookie just looked at Void with a look of pure annoyance. They then pinched their eyebrows together out of frustration.

“Goddamnit, Void… Okay, how about this— A sandwich has two pieces of bread. A hotdog has a bun. One. Singular. Bun.” Cookie exhaustedly countered. “And by the way— I don’t wanna hear you say ‘With that logic, a burger isn’t a sandwich’ because a burger has two pieces of bread.”

Void’s eyes widened out of surprise. He then turned around away from Cookie to try and hide his very visible anger. His ego had just been terribly damaged and needed time to recover.

“Stupid freaking gameshow host… Thinking that he’s better than me…” Void angrily muttered under his breath.

Cookie was actually surprised to see Void like this. Usually, Void would just brush things off when someone hurt his feelings, but seeing Void getting frustrated over a petty argument was… interesting to say the least.

“What’s the matter, Void? Can’t handle being wrong, can you?” Cookie snarked.

“Shut up.” Void suddenly fumed. “A hot dog is still a sandwich, by the way.”

Cookie just chuckled at Void’s ridiculous comment. “Yeah yeah, sure it is…”

[wisecrackingeric-2]

((Redoing this cuz TUMBLR FLAGGED IT DAMNIT))

20 Questions for Fic Authors !!

Thank you S O SOSOSOSOOSSOSO MUCH @sunhatllama & @courtofparrots for tagging me!!!!! :DDD

1. How many works do you have??

36!!

2. What is your AO3 word count??

202,659!!!!!!!!! God fucking damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. What fandoms do you write for??

Just Resident Evil!! :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos??

1. All You Have To Do Is Ask

2. Your Drunk Words Are Sober Thoughts

3. Leon (Finally) Gets Top Surgery

4. Anemoia

And Love Me Like There’s No Tomorrow in that order!!

5. Do you respond to comments??

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES EVEN IF IT TAKES ME FOREVER I ADORE COMMENTS THEY KEEP ME GOING

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending??

OOOOOUGHH this is hard because I am ALLERGIC to writing angst BXBDHENSJ I don’t know why I just struggle to do it!!!! I always feel too bad for the characters!!!!! But if I HAD to pick I’d proooobably say It Was Only Yesterday for @aquarelacosmica because old age is sad I guess BXNENNEDJ

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending??

Literally all of them HDBEHENDJJ happy endings are guaranteed with all my fics but if I had to chose my favourites, they’d be, in no particular order;

1. Marido

2. Matteo

3. Beautiful Boy

4. New Years

5. I’ll Help You Pray

And 6. Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy!!

8. Do you get hate on fics??

Not so far thank god!! I’ve definitely received WEIRD or overbearing comments but no hate!

9. Do you write smut??

My only NS f W fic is Feeling Loved, and it’s more a piece on Luis’ chronic pain and self esteem after RE4 than it is smut I’d say!! It’s very near and dear to my heart <3

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve written??

I’ve never WRITTEN a crossover HOWEVER I have PLENTY of AU’s in my art tag!!! I’d love to write my Warriors Serennedy AU out someday though!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen??

Nope!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated??

I’ve actually been asked by somebody before if they could translate my fic one time!!! I don’t remember which it was, but I had to politely decline since I didn’t know the language and wouldn’t be able to crowd control the response, but they were super duper polite and kind about it!!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before??

I’ve never co-written a fic per se but I’ve definitely had my friends bounce ideas between me and help me with proofreading!!!!! Ily guys <<<<333

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

leans on the suspiciously serennedy-shaped box standing in my room Why do you wanna know?

15. What’s a WIP you’d wanna finish but doubt you ever will??

I have quite a handful that I’ve started but unfortunately lost the momentum for and can’t find it again.

Writing is a lot like art for me- if inspiration strikes I have to do it THEN AND THERE or else I’ll lose the groove for the kind of style/inspo I wanted to do it in, and unfortunately I had to give up quite a few fanfic projects this year to focus on art and also mainly cuz the beginning of this year has been VEEEEEERY tough and I always prioritise my art over writing unfortunately!!

I’m proud of myself for finishing (I’m Just A) Sweet Transvestite though- that one was made through blood sweat and tears :,)

16. What are your writing strengths?

UHHHH NO CLUE!!! I’ve been TOLD it’s how I characterise my characters and how I write dialog, but I think the easiest thing for ME is describing scenes so I dunno!!

17. What are your writing weaknesses??

Can saying ‘everything’ count HFNEHENDJ I’m more of an artist than a writer!! But I think the thing I struggle with the most is stretching out important emotional beats. And also commas.

18. Thoughts on writing dialog in another language??

I do it all the time for Luis so Hell Yeah!!! Thank you Wilfreeeeeeeddd for helpiiiinnngg <<<33

19. First fandom you wrote for??

Also Resident Evil!! Serennedy has a violent chokehold on me

20. Favourite fic you’ve written??

(I’m Just A) Sweet Transvestite !! I am S O proud of myself for finishing it man!!!!! I went through HELL and back writing it and I made something that means a lot to me!!!!!!

Tagging @blveherb , @geddy-leesbian , @leonsbunny , @hamartia-grander , @ugetelynx , @theprestigegirly @mooseonahunt and anyone else who wants to join!! :DD

[amortentiainmyfirewhiskey]

|in the name of fancy | (fred w. x fem reader)

requested: Can you do a Fred WeasleyxReader where they both like each other a lot but neither knows the other likes them but it super obvious to everyone. So George decides to pull some elaborate prank to get them together?

warnings: swearing

word count: 1.4k+

for: @highlyselectiveextrovert​

---

 He was living in actual hell. There wasn’t any doubt about it, this was actually hell. George watched as his brother and (y/n) picked at their food, talking about the weather in the least casual voices ever.

 George hadn’t minded at first, he actually had thought it was hilarious in the beginning when his brother would blush by (y/n) just being near. Now it just pissed him off when Fred stuttered or did something stupid, hell it was actually embarrassing.

  (y/n) wasn’t much better but when she did it at least it was some what cute, Fred just looked like a twat. He would laugh a little to hard at something small or she’d catch him off guard and his voice would crack like he was 13. It was sad.

  George shared an annoyed look with Lee and there was a silent agreement that passed between them, they needed to get the two together before they jumped off the Astronomy Tower.

---

 George and Lee flopped down on one of the Gryffindor common room’s overstuffed couches and watched the flames dance around in the fireplace.

  “ What could we even do?” asked Lee with a huff. He stared cross-eyed up at his bangs where his fingers with playing with the coils, watching with bored fascination as the curl would spring back.

  George didn’t respond right away, the cogs in his head were slowly turning as an idea blossomed in his mind, “ Bloody hell, I’m a genius!” he said jumping up.

  Lee sent him an incredulous look, “ What is it?”

  “ I’m a simple man, Lee-”

  “ Bullshit,”

  “ - and so is my plan!”

---

  (y/n) held her books closely to her chest as she made her way to the library, she was supposed to be meeting her friends so they could begin studying for their potions exam Friday. She rounded the corner but immediately halted to a stop as to not run into someone.

  She looked up and felt her stomach do a flip of excitement to see Fred, she needed to get a fucking grip for God’s sake. He was her friend first and foremost. She hadn’t been able to have a simple conversation with him in two months. Every time they ran into each other it was like she wanted to run away, crawl under a rug, and scream.

 Fred’s warm brown eyes widened the smallest bit but he seemed to gather his composure somewhat, “ Oh, hey,” he said shortly, “ Heading to the library?”

 The slight lilt in his voice went unnoticed by (y/n). She nodded her head and let out a somewhat shrill laugh by accident. She bit her tongue and fought the urge to hurl herself out the nearby window, “ Er, um, yeah,” she chuckled.

  “ Potions?”

 “ Yeah,”

 They sat in awkward silence before (y/n) spotted her friends down the hall. They stared at her with pained expressions on their faces, obviously having bared witness to her and Fred’s interaction.

 “ Oh my friends are here, I’ll see you at dinner?” she said quickly with a smile she hoped wasn’t deranged looking but cute.

 He nodded his head fervently. “ Definitely!” he said a little louder than intended.

 She sent him one more smile before meeting her friends halfway down the hall. Fred walked off in a hurry and the farther away he got from her the easier it was for him to breathe, ‘ That was fucking horrid,’ he thought to himself as he stepped into the Gryffindor common room.

 The redhead flopped down in one of the crimson chairs and dozed off, he didn’t know how long he’d been out but he was awoken by Lee bursting into the common room.

 Lee looked around frantically before his eyes landed on Fred. He charged toward him and Fred held up his hands, “ What the hell are you on, Lee?!” he shouted.

 Lee stopped right in front of him, his chest was heaving and little beads of sweat ran down his forehead, “ I-It’s (y/n),” he wheezed.

 Fred jumped out of his chair and pulled Lee upright, “ What is it, what happened, is she okay?!” he asked frantically.

 Lee coughed and nodded before clearing his throat, “ Peeves locked her in a broom closet and I couldn’t get it open,”

 Fred sprinted into action with Lee hot on his heels, “ Why didn’t you get a teacher?!” he barked behind him.

 Lee scoffed, “Oi! Where the hell is any adult when you actually need them?!”

 Fred ignored his friend who caught up to him and led the way.

---

 George lingered behind a large stone pillar, watching as (y/n) and her friends left the library. After exchanging goodbyes (y/n) turned the opposite toward George.

  George to a few steps back, held his breath and spritzed water on his face. He then began running, almost plowing over an unsuspecting (y/n).

 “ (y/n)!” he gasped, “ I need your help, It’s Fr-Fred!”

 The (y/h/c)’s eyes widened before throwing her stuff down, “ Well c’mon, show me where!” she yelled shoving the redhead in his chest, telling him to get a move on.

 George turned around and explained to her how Peeve’s had shoved Fred in a closet and no matter what spell he used he couldn’t get him out. (y/n)’s face was panic stricken and George had to refrain from letting out an evil laugh.

 He was sure he was the smartest person alive.

 When they got to the broom closet (y/n) immediately took out her wand but was thrown off guard when George snatched it from and her and shoved her in the closet, “ GEORGE WHAT THE HELL-,” She didn’t get to finish before he slammed the door shut.

 George’s smile could have put the Grinch to shame and from behind a wall he heard Lee snicker. Lee stepped out from his hiding place, made eye contact with George and that was all it took for the two to let out the most diabolical laughs.

 ---

“ GEORGE WHAT THE HELL-!”

 He slammed the door in her face and it was suddenly pitch black, “ (y/n)?” asked a familiar voice. The person casted Lumos and she was met with the face of one Fred Weasley.

 “ Oh my God, Fred,” she sighed in relief, “ You’re alright then?”

 Fred sent her a questioning look, “ Why wouldn’t I be?”

 (y/n) opened her mouth to speak but then their predicament made her throat tighten, “ Uhmm,”

 She basically ignored him and turned back to the door and struggled with the nob, “ George you bastard!” she screamed at the door.

 Fred chuckled, “ Can you blame them?” he asked before sitting down on a box, “ We have been pretty repulsive,”

 (y/n) spun around looking affronted, “ How?!”

 Fred sent her a knowing look, “ I fancy you, (y/n),” he said quietly.

 The girl in question heart dropped to her ass and her face felt like it was going to melt off, “ Oh!” she said dumbly,

 Fred tilted his head slightly and rested his face on fist, “ Would I be crazy to assume you feel the same?”

 Oh God she was going to explode. This was the day she was going to die. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and her stomach churned with anticipation and fear, “ I. . . I do,”

 There she said it, she admitted it, now what?”

 The two teenagers stared at one another for a moment before Fred stood looking down at her, “ Can. . . Can I kiss you?” he all but whispered.

 Of all the times she thought about kissing Fred it hadn’t been in a moldy broom closet, but hell who cares?

 She fought back a smile before nodding. (y/n) allowed him to put a hand at the back of her neck and the other on the small of her back. He swooped down and caught her lips in a desperate kiss that took her breath away.

 Her arms came up and wrapped around his neck as she pushed herself into him more. The kiss wasn’t intense, if anything it was what a first kiss should be.

Sweet, hesitant, and curious.

After a moment they pulled apart. Both were a little out of breath but stupid smiles rested on their faces.

“ So. . . what should we do to Lee and George?” she asked, placing a hand on his forearm.

 There was a devious glint in Fred’s eyes, “ Not sure, “ he began, “ After all, it was in the name of fancy,”

--

 a/n: new account, old one is @themissinghippogriff​

also sorry this took so long, i was depressed real hard

[keithydove]

i hope this doesn’t sound dumb, aggressive, or even ‘blame-y’ or anything like that, since you actually seem really nice and chill and you also seem to have been very supportive and helpful with khai which i find beautiful and amazing and it’s great to see you improving for the better, and khai as well. i wish you luck on both of your guys’ recovery /gen

although, ever since i came across this newer account (which actually was a breath of fresh air, believe me) i started to think about how it felt when you remained on mel’s side back then. i obv no longer hold this against you, i support your ongoing growth, and hopefully bringing this up isn’t too bad i just bring this up for ig ‘reflection on the situation’ purposes, really. i was honestly surprised, since you had seemed like the type to advocate for what’s right, and call out anything wrong. it felt confusing seeing you side with mel at that time, after they had been outed for lots of things w/ proof (although i didn’t know what was going on in your pov obviously)

but i’m glad you’re now doing what i personally thought you’d do at first: leave and call her out for her wrongdoings.

again, i don’t fully hold that past stuff against you, personally. we’re all growing and we do things and learn from them, i’m glad you’ve learned from this experience honestly. i hope you hold it close so you’ll never be used or anything again. it sucked to see her treating you like her writer and not much else, you’re obv more than that! i wish you luck with your own writing and characters :)

again, hopefully this won’t be taken negatively or even offensive. i don’t mean this in any harmful, mean way, just a sort of “this was my view on things” since we’re all sharing our different thoughts.

again, i wish you luck on your recovery (khai as well too ofc!! ty for helping them.) you both seem to be doing great so far

AAAAAA UR TOO SWEETT STOPP IT

AND NO UR COMPLETELY FINE I get why you’re bringing this up. I’m more than ashamed myself that I allowed myself to support such a disgusting person. It went against my morals and I should’ve listened to my gut when, even when I was on Mel’s side, that something wasn’t right. There was always a part of me that questioned if I was doing the right thing, and I wasn’t.

I’m honestly flattered that I seemed like the sort of person to do the right thing, and im sorry that I let you along with anyone else who thought the same thing down :(( I’m more than happy that I’m doing this, despite it being PAINFULLY late 😭😭 I’m holding this experience close to me even though I wasn’t the MOST impacted as others, but I’m keeping it in mind going forward

I greatly appreciate this message :’)) friendly reminder to everyone that they can express any views or doubts or anything of the sort here (and Khai’s blog ofc!) as it is a safe space and I’ll always hear you all out as long as you’re polite abt it <3333

[star-girl69]

DUDEEEEEE. She calls me baby youuuuu ate that harrrrrrrd. Like I had to go back in for seconds and thirds and fourths fr fr. Cause are we even surprised or are we just grateful that you give us mortals a second of your time and talent????

Babe you are so incredibly talented. The way you write is sooooooo amazing its like you just know how to manipulate your words into something that will and has had me in tears in like 2 seconds. Don't even get me started on how you write your characters. Like I don't know how I can fully and most genuinely express the astonishment you leave me in all the time.

I believe that you are one of a kind and a treasure to be cherished. I know that doubting is inevitable but I hope that you know that I'm always gonna be in the obsessed with addie corner no matter what. Like I meant it when I said that there won't be a time when you have no fans. Ever. You will forever be my favourite gorgeous goddess❤️❤️❤️.

-❤️

(I'm sorry I've been so absent school has been actually eating me alive)

(I think about you everyday though and it makes life just that much better)

(I hope you don't think I'm exaggerating😭😭😭😭All of this that I've been feeling without releasing had to be sent in a long ask my bad)

(I missed your little bonuses though, I hope you're doing okay)

(I'm always here for anything you may need, even if its literally just to tell you how amazing you are)

(love you ❤️)

#jealousclarissesupremacy

I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU WERE I WAS SO WORRIED I SMILED SO HARD WHEN I GOT THIS ASK 🤭🤭

I CANT THAT WHOLE SECOND PARAGRAPH LIKE I CANT LIKE WOWWWW YOU THINK THAT???? ABOUT MEEE??!!!!??!?!?!?!!

TREASURE IS INSANE BTW 🤭 anyways omg. i’m so grateful wtf like i’m sorry i cant come up w something more poetic like you i just love these asks so much i get so happy and idk how to express that other than ilysm and i’m just so happy and so so grateful

also gorgeous goddess… i giggled 🤭🤭🤭

(ITS OKAYYYYY IM GLAD YOUR BACK SCHOOL HAS BEEN COOKING ME TOO 💔💔)

(EVERYDAY??!?!?!?! i think about you everyday too tho….. thinking about that one day you were so active and i got like 5 asks from you… BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEE) (also pls don’t take this as me pressuring you TRUST i am grateful for whatever you give me 🙏🙏)

(STOP. I. LOVE. LONG. ASKS. DONT ANNOY ME BY DOUBTING MY LOVE FOR YOU!!!!!!!)

(idk i’m okay i’ve just been really feeling pressured to write stuff bc the fandom is dying down (guys pls come back) and i am now firmly addicted to the praise and number of notifs i get…. lol. the bonuses have always been weird bc sometimes they come so easily to me like the first one i did was so it goes and i didn’t even have to think about it and then someone said they liked it so i went back and did it to my other fics and started doing it and idk yeah basically what i’m saying is sometimes they’re so easy and other times i have to force myself to come up w something which sucks but people like them so i’m happy to do it!!!!)

(tbh i’ll probably go back and add a bonus to she calls me baby bc i have just a little teeny bit of ocd and it will bother me but also i’m trying to let the little things go but idk we’ll see how strong i am 😭😭)

(sorry i will stop ranting now) (shoutout to anyone who actually reads that incoherent ramble)

(i need to be told how amazing i am 24/7 so that will be hard 😔) (BUT I APPRECIATE YOU SAYING THAT)

(LOVE YOU TOOOOO 💋💋💋)

#iagreesobad

[wildernessuntothemselves]

“the mundane-ness of her relationship with yeonjun. it's not this crazy love story that is full of passion and overflowing with love. it's a regular relationship between two people trying to make it work.”

You really portrayed it well.. and I absolutely hate it. I mean you did a great job and the story will go where the story goes but oh my god in real life I truly can’t stand those types of relationships. I’ve tried in the past and really felt w oc this chapter and it’s just. So terrible aaaa!! I never ever want to date in that way again. For me It’s all or nothing (aka keita or nothing). I’m sure it can lead to some sort of happiness, to just be with someone nice who you’re somewhat attracted to but… I’d rather have the sun than the candle fr. I’ll Icarus my way to keita fr (as in the actual keita or a guy I potentially could like as much as him) I never want a oc x yeonjun relationship ever again. and I really hope oc doesn’t end up with him. Even more so now that I’ve seen how it is between them, even the sweet moments. It really disgusts me (it’s totally fair for others to do have that type of relationship and enjoy it but thinking of myself in that situation disgusts me) godddd. And like what hyewka said about it feeling like a loss… ugh. You did really well writing the chapter which is why I hate it so much !!!! You really portrayed oc’s emotions well and aaaa yuck yuck terrible. The only thing that could still convince me at this point is a sub yeonjun scene but I doubt it. Gyu foreverrrrrr

I strongly disagree. I believe most relationships are like oc and yeonjun and that is good. You don’t go into a relationship madly in love with someone unless you're like oc and secretly in love with your friend. Most relationships start with people just liking each other and getting to know each other and the relationship building from them. The only problem with oc and jun's relationship is oc's feelings for gyu. Also a slow relationship like that let's you work through your feelings and decide what you're comfortable with and what you're not. Relationships that are intense from the start tend to crash and burn.

Btw idk if you're kidding or not but in case you're serious, you shouldn't fixate of that keita guy too much. It will ruin your chances of having meaningful relationships irl. Like i adore gyu but I know he's just an idol at the end of the day.

[blindrapture]

SUNDAY JUNE 5TH, 2011 (WOMP WOMP)

4:30 AM I’ve slept plenty. Now I’m ready to go and do shit.

4:36 AM I’m gonna take a walk around this town, see what’s there to see.

5:29 AM Hello, handsome. I found a mirror in a shop. A big mirror. Y’know, I didn’t realize I looked so damn good in this white suit. The actual jacket is more of a light-blue colour, but I guess it’s to set me apart from most white-suit folk. I think Mistress really thought this outfit through. It’s like.. a proper disguise. After all this killing, nobody’s gonna recognize me because I’ll be wearing all black and carrying a guitar controller! I gotta try not to get blood all over the suit.

5:41 AM …no way. You have got to be shitting me, this can’t possibly be real. This is a fucking CD shop.

5:53 AM Sunsetters’ No Entry, Genesis’ Abacab, and I decided to give Bonnjo Vjonsped’s experimental years a try with Womp Womp. I dunno, it looks interesting. Luckily, in Rapture, there’s no worry about paying for shit. >w>

5:59 AM Went back to my car. Gonna listen to this shit on that music player, so I can play it super-loud and not wake people up. Let’s try Womp Womp.

6:19 AM WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP Take the bass Rock the place Kick the space In the face With a taste Of your case Of Bud Lite taste AND THE PARTY GOES WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP 7:10 AM Okay, that was about as close to the music of the gods as anything could get without being progressive rock. That was legitimately amazing. I’m tired. I’ve been dancing too much. I’m gonna go back to the hotel.

7:28 AM There’s that little kid again. He’s just sitting, cross-legged, in the hallway. He’s looking at me, and he’s smiling. It’s an innocent smile, but I can see something behind it. Like he knows something. And he’s just.. waiting. ..I’m gonna wait in the bar.

7:31 AM Bar’s fairly quiet, no doubt because it’s this early.

7:47 AM Ferdinando came in. He’s sitting nearby, minding his own. I don’t think I’ll use my crowbar for this. I’m gonna take a glass. Tall glass. ..fuck, I don’t know how the hell I’m gonna make it out of this. I do not look forward to it.

8:25 AM I was so barbaric He wasn’t a monster and I was so barbaric

9:56 AM Hiding. Found a house. Hiding. Oh god, I must have gotten the whole town after me. I think Ferdinando was the messenger they were sending to Manresa. I’m gonna.. I’m just gonna rest a bit. Just a bit.

12:03 PM ..motherfucker where’s my car where is my car No no no nooo oh god no, all my prog was in there I’m.. no. No, just no no, no please, I can’t do this, my prog. ._. Oh god.

12:07 PM …false alarm, I just remembered I took all my CDs into the house with me. BUT STILL. My car! Looks like I’m back to walking.

12:34 PM Like before, I have no idea where I’m going now. I mean, I know I’m going to Manresa, but I have no idea where that is. I guess I’ll just keep following this road.

3:01 PM God, it’s getting hot.

5:22 PM I’ve noticed that there have been a lot less crazy monsters ever since I left Blackpool. I almost miss them. It’s better than all this boredom.

8:49 PM I’m getting very tired. I’m just gonna.. stop in this house here. And sleep.

8:57 PM FUCK RUN RUN OH GODDD RUN RUN RUN

9:14 PM There were people there, oh my god. They answered the door with a shotgun. And said “Dios mio, el bufon blanco!” I guess that’s my name now. The white buffoon.

9:32 PM Another house. I’m gonna try this one.

9:40 PM Empty, completely empty. Perfect. I’m gonna get some shut-eye, then. Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today was.

(Attached: “While Womp Womp wasn’t the first instance of dubstep in the music world, it was probably the funniest. Bonnjo Vjonsped are the world’s dumbest metal band. Their name is pronounced ‘Bon Jovi on speed,’ a pronunciation that literally makes no sense when you look at the way it’s spelled and think about it for a second. They spent most of their years in obscurity, though Womp Womp was met on release with a warm reception since no one had heard of these guys so the critics assumed the album was a parody. The cheesy lyrics were quite serious, I assure you. I’ve met the guys.”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[rianafying]

hello diary i’m back idk what is happening or why i ever feel what i feel, but here goes nothing

i’ve been feeling very creative today, had a terrible morning woke up insanely dehydrated, could barely move, my arthritis and psoriasis had flared up as well, i had to cancel my gig but they’re fine, they had other people on board. i don’t really feel like i missed out because i literally couldn’t have gone and needed to stay home and rehydrate, plus it’s like 37 degrees outside, i’ll stay home thanks. anyway, so i got some much needed rest and i ate and drank loads of water and i feel replenished now and i feel hopeful and creative and i wish i could’ve just started something, a project or whatever. but i have no many chores standing firmly between me and what i actually want to do. will is a terribly difficult thing to conjure. i had a telehealth appointment to get diagnosed w adhd in melbourne so i can access the necessary treatment, but they’re telling me it’ll be at least $800 and at least 4 sessions to just get diagnosed. and that to me is a huge undertaking. i told them ill think about it but what is there to think of, i know fully well i cant afford it. i wish i had an ipad to draw on. ive been wanting to draw something for ages and i could draw on my physical sketch book but i just haven’t? i just cant? its the guilt from all the chores i haven’t done. there’s a proper inspection due in 4 days and i just know it’s going to cripple me with anxiety as the date comes closer. there’s so much stuff that i want to do. and yet i do nothing. i’m not doing even 1% of everything i want to do, because im stuck doing 100% of the things i hate but have to do. when im older, i hope i get permanent residency in australia or any other first world country, i wish i have a safe and permanent place to live, regardless of size or quality. i wish i have someone who can help me with the tasks i struggle with and i can help them with tasks they struggle with and if we both struggle at the same things, we’ll understand each other, we can struggle and learn together. hopefully this will not be a romantic partner because i don’t think my brain is hardwired to deal with matters of the heart in a stable way. i hope that by the time i feel safe, the children of gaza feel safe too. i hope we win. i thought of them when i got dehydrated and worried that ill get a uti, i thought about how much worse they have it. i think of them all the time but especially when im suffering and im reminded that they have it many folds worse. i try to derive hope, strength, and gratitude from that instead of helplessness, and powerlessness.

i haven’t been able to take out the trash and get rid of my dead plants and they’re starting to attract bugs and i really need to do that today, i’ve been saying that everyday, it’ll just take seconds. i also am very close to having $0 in my account because i had to buy some meds and i found some vitamins for half price and decided to buy a whole buttload of them #forhealthiguess also its SO HOT. and im trying to avoid turning on my air conditioner because my electricity bill last month was $140??? like why? it’s a crazy world out here. crazy expensive. for the millionth time, i really should get a real job soon. or try to. i doubt i’ll ever have enough to be independent. i fear i’ll always be at the mercy of my parents. i fear i’ll heal too slow to keep up with the damage.

all day i did nothing. that’s not true, i went grocery shopping and i made meatballs, and spaghetti and it turned out great. the one thing i always cook successfully is any kind of pasta, never fails. i feel 50% guilty for not doing anything important today. such as taking out the trash, cleaning my room, etc. it’s the one thing i hate doing: house chores. makes me wanna scream, cry and throw up. i made a mistake, last night i accidentally left my earphones on the couch at reception downstairs and hadn’t even realised until earlier today when i was leaving the building and saw it on the couch. i feel so relieved that i live in a place where nobody stole it all day. part of me feels like i don’t deserve to live so well. because for nearly a year, i have been living wonderfully, everything’s going so well, and all my demons are inside of my own head. this is new for me. there’s no actual threat, i think. still feels like there is. i’m less overwhelmed than usual, but still pretty overwhelmed. there’s always too many ideas and not enough ability to implement them. how do i feel chaos and clarity simultaneously. i just need a break from this mental torment. i think getting my apartment clean will definitely help with that. but it’s such a big task, even thinking about it makes me fall to my bed and start to rot. suddenly i find that my body won’t move. adhd sounds like it’s so quirky and funny until you’re surrounded with piles of garbage and flying insects and there is a mysterious sticky brown patch underneath the fridge that just will not move. until there’s no space to walk from one end of the room to the other without stepping on and crushing things underneath my feet. it feels as if my brain has acquired an endless supply of shame and guilt. i will probably not feel focused until my room is actually clean. clean enough to be inspected. clean enough to maybe even have visitors. i get anxious just thinking about the prospect.