#i dont want to throw more money at this game but im freaking going to have to becuase im not missing out on this card

[zaynes-left-chesticle]

2 days to manage 32 pulls?? Can she do it??!

Hell no.

And we all know this game isn't going to give it to me before that. How did some of you freaking pull it early?! Agghhhh!

[master-of-fluff]

Rant

Im getting very tired of everyone making excuses up in this house especially for my mom and sister

like im so done with my sister

a few examples of the bullshit she's pulled:

-She threw a fit because we were getting McDonald's ice cream instead of bruams ice cream -legit kicking and screaming on the ground in public - and evem though this was a few years ago -SHE WAS 9 almost ten can u umagine a 10yo throwing a fit like a toddler? Wtf?

-doesn't do her chores: if my mom asks her shell just straight up say "no" and mom will just make someone else do it

same for if anyone asks her to do something -like to open a door when my hands are full "no"

-Legit will just go ferral on people SHES FUCKING INSANE!!!

She goes off at the tiniest thing and will attack u

-got mad at my brother when he had a dance party at the same time she was having a dance party somewhere else in roblox -they were playing the same game-

and she freaking attaxked him to the point where he had to lock himself in the bathroom and she banged on the bathroom door and kicked at it FOR THREE FUCKING HOURS she literally wouldnt stop until my dad came home and picked her up until she calmed down

ANd during that time i had to keep my other two siblings outside because if they gor close to her she would freaking kick them away SHE FREAKING KICKED A 2yo WHO TF DOES THAT?

did she get in trouble? NOOo instead they told my brother some bullshit like "why would u do that? You know she gets upset by those things"

um no. No one ever knows what sets her off were just supposed to guess or some shit and then be guilty when we guess wrong!

and then theres my mom getting excused for all the crap shes done

"Oh your mom has such a hard time getting around YOU KNOW how many surgeries she had as a kid"

"Well her mom was a lot worse ill tell you that"

THATS NOT MY PROBLEM!!!

MAYBE SHE SHOULD HAVE THOUGH ABOUT IT BEFORE HAVING 5 KIDS U DINGUS!!!

and ofc my mom uses those excuses herself plus some others

"U know i had 'illness thing' when i gave birth to your youngest sister and the one before her, in fact i had a very high chance of dying since most woman are more likely to get it during childbirth if your over 40 i had to recover"

THEN DONT HAVE KIDS AFTER 40 YOU DUMBASS

and then theres my moms side of the family thats just batshit ceazy all the time!!!

- My aunt telling my other aunt that the reason she had a miscarriage was because she wasnt vaccinated thus making it "your own fault really"

-my other other aunt whoes kids can do no wrong and always get us in trouble

-said aunt blaming LITERAL CHILDREN -me and my siblings- FOR HER MISTAKES BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SAVE MONEY AND WANTS TO WASTE IT ALL ON FOOD because she also can do no wrong apparently

"Oh but your kids were starving BEGGING me to feed them so of course i had to spend 200$ on olive garden even though im trying to save up for a house"

HUnny me and my siblings NEVER complain at grandma's house we arent aloud to conplain at home so i dont know how u would think that we would there YOU ASKED US IF WE WERE HUNGRY NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND YA LYING SNAKE!!!

there is so much more but i dont want to type it out

Im just ready to move out already

[filthyjanuary]

same tho it feels WEIRD like it's been. less than a year and a half? since they announced the switch to hopeless? im so confused why did they switch again so SOON makes no cents

RIGHT YEAH LIKE im gonna be honest sorry this is gonna veer into negativity, don’t read if you’re vibing. sorry this is so long i have many thoughts.

so okay i find it very hard to believe hopeless only signed them for a one-album deal. like it’s not impossible, but i find it highly improbable that they weren’t contracted for a least two. obviously it’s possible they were contracted for more but had a termination clause in case fandom did poorly but it didn’t so.... that doesn’t make sense to me either. so either parx broke their contract (requires money and lawyers) or hopeless dropped them for some reason (does not bode well whatsoever). if they REALLY genuinely had a one-album deal, i still wonder why they wouldnt sign with hopeless again considering they have a lot of friends on the label, it seems like a good fit and hopeless seems very accommodating. and if fandom dvd is still happening (and according to AP it is) then... hopeless /is/ very accommodating unlike another label we know.

if they bought themselves out of their contract to go to 300e, i... don’t love that either. it doesn’t make sense and just screams of awsten throwing a tantrum (haha l-like the song get it) in another attempt to prove how not pop-punk he is. which like... i get it, i get that being boxed in sucks but changing labels isn’t going to make people stop calling you that. you’re still 3 skinny white dudes with guitars. it’s gonna happen. does it suck? yeah. jumping to a hip hop label and potentially wasting money and burning bridges in the community you started out in doesn’t... seem smart to me, and it’s not professional, and if they keep pulling moves like this, they’re going to build a bad reputation for themselves. parx just do not have the industry foothold to be mouthing off like this. if 5sos cant do it, waterparks certainly can’t. 300e is a lateral move to me, it doesn’t take them up any and i’m puzzled by how they’re going to be marketed. the only labelmates i can see them touring with are like... highly suspect, the hunna, and maggie lindemann and of those acts, parx is bigger than 2/3 so they’d be doing more promo than they’d be getting. like 300e is not gonna put twinky white boy band waterparks on a tour opening for megan thee stallion. i just dont see how this is going to get them where they want to go. if they really jumped labels purely for shedding pop punk ties, it’d make more sense to me for them to go to an indie pop label or something and fully embrace the semi-ironic boy band vibe.

if hopeless dropped them then.... that in itself is a bad sign. parting ways poorly with 2 labels is a great way to get yourself blacklisted, and like i said, hopeless seems like a very accommodating label (case in point taking ATL back after ATL ditched them for a major label) so to get to a point where they’d get dropped feels... very not good. again, that’s not the rep you want to build for yourself as a relatively small band still. i know awsten hates playing the industry game but unfortunately he either needs to suck it up and deal with label bullshit so he can get label money/resources, or he needs to scale down his vision/production to something manageable that the band/fans can self fund and independently release.

the other thing is 300e is in NY whereas hopeless was in LA. idk how often u gotta go chill w/ ur label but either awsten’s moving again bc he’s a control freak and needs to be hands on everything or he’s going to be flying a lot. which... doesnt mean anything, it’s just an additional thought.

SORRY THIS IS A NOVEL

[taehyungsgrowl]

SFW Alphabet for Nate

I think I did it wrong last time bc I was waiting for people to send me letters when I was just supposed to go down the list. But I’m a dummy so disregard half of what I say.

i hope you guys like them and thank you virgo anon for the input w these 🥺i love our baby 🥺

Here we go:

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

-- i think he likes doing new things w you. and i know that sounds cliche BUT hear me out. duncan is a bit of a home body 🥺loves to be curled up w reader sharing kissies and cuddling. nate enjoys that too but i think trying new adventures w you is his favorite. i can see him being the type to like hiking dates!! (also lets not forget the tik tok videos you guys make together )

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

-- considering the beginning did start off as something kinda casual between him and reader, he kept it as such. but he’s such a natural charmer that even when he’s not trying, he just comes across as super sweet. they’d finish hooking up and he’d offer her to stay over or get them food (not bc he felt like he needed to but it’s just the kinda guy he is) i think he probably let his goofy side out right at the beginning as well. its what helped y/n open up to him and feel at ease w him 🥺

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

-- big sigh. nate? was the KING of communication!! hell! he was able to talk to duncan (who ISNT the best at communicating) when they weren’t even friends and helped him talk to dumb!reader. plus he’d always been open about his feelings. told y/n right away when he knew he was in love. (i only say he WAS bc he should have told y/n he was struggling before he ended up in the hospital 🥺)

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

-- koala bear cuddly drunk!! not just between him and reader! but he will love on anyone! (omg.. you know dunc was a little 😳when drunk!bro!nate started hugging him... hiding his face in duncs neck... telling he smells good... telling him how much he loves him... bros 👯‍♂️)

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

— oh god. nate is the type to keep cool and collected in an emergency - even if he were the one having an emergency 🥺 like if reader would’ve been w him during his car accident, she would have been worried sick over him and he’d just be like, “hey, look at me. i’m okay, yeah? a lot stronger than i look, babe.” even if it hurt like hell because he doesn’t wanna worry her. if you were in an emergency or got hurt, he’d go into sexy doctor mode. “tell me where it hurts.” squeezing your hand to reassure you, “i got you.” also kissies where it hurts 🥺 and he’s such a good listener too wow we have no choice but to simp.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

-- i’m just gonna share one head canon that virgo anon tossed at me that really made me 🥺 baby nate 🥺 and how when he was younger he was always a nice boy 🥺 but wasnt the popular or “hot” one until he grew into himself in college 🥺 when he got maxie and it helped him manage his stress enough to be able to make connections 🥺y’all when she said that it made me heart 🥺 my sweet boy

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

-- i think his gifts are rarely “over the top” but !! they’re simple and personalized!!! like a lil necklace w his initials / name 🥺or maybe he has someone make a picture of you two into an animation? like have someone draw you guys (do u know what im talking about?) as far as gifts for him, he enjoys like “interactive gifts” like sending him on a lil scavenger hunt (nate loves setting them up for you too 🥺) but if you set one up for HIM? god! he’d love you!

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

-- nate loves! loves! to give forehead kissies (not just because he’s tall fjhsjh) and being hugged (or picked up) in his strong arms!! loves it!! he loves being the big spoon 🥺i love him. 

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

-- that reader continues to choose duncan over him fkjsvsfkv he wears his heart on his sleeve so i think when nate is upset or irritated... you know. 

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

-- does nate have more $ than the shepherds? debatable. but he isn’t as... flashy w his money as duncan is. he’s a little more down to earth if that makes sense. BUT thats besides the point. he’d probably donate a lot to a charity of his choice than take you on a little get away. maybe a cross country road trip 🥺 or off to an island getaway. he’s flexible. 

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

-- virgo anon made me 🥺when we were talking about this bc nate would do anything for the people he loves and 🥺that gets him hurt. especially when he feels like those people dont love him in the way he does them 🥺

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

-- clown!! nate is the guy that always keeps you laughing 🥺and most times he cant even contain his own laughter omg i will cry im in love with one man

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

-- he’s a morning person 🥺 likes to start off his morning with a run and protein shake SMH fitness KING. 

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

-- he’s so used to being the one who’s needed 🥺 it takes him a while to be comfy being vulnerable and needy. idk if there’s anything in particular that sets him off to be like this - but i’d like to think it happens at random. like youre on the couch and he just nuzzles his face on your tummy for you to pet his hair. he demonstrates it by wanting to be close to you 🥺

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

-- i think he’d be the kinda guy that enjoys the sun (not just bc he looks hot, shirtless on a beach) but yes. somewhere nice and sunny where he could have maxie w him 🥺if he could stay on the beach where he started falling for dumb!reader (with her) for ever he would 🥺

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

-- emotional or physical? jfgksjdgsdk but no i think if he’s well regulated, he can handle pain well - it’s when he’s not that it’s a problem (w emotional pain) he stops taking care of himself the way he should and really spirals into his head a lot you know 🥺i think he can handle others being in pain better than himself bc he loves a lot and its easier to focus his attention on trying to fix things for them (like we said his biggest weakness is doing too much for those he loves)

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

-- “loving is easy” fjskfsf not to be too corny but 🥺being w nate was easy... always on the same page.. and made her feel good. 🥺

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

-- lots!!! of kissies!! picking you up!! holding you close!!! physical touch is pretty high on his love language list i think 🥺(i think quality time or acts of service might be his top two though) 

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

-- i generally think duncan is more of a control freak than nate, but i do think to some extent, they’re similar that when things feel out of their control, it really stresses them out. i think it manifests at different times. i think for duncan its more trivial things whereas w nate, if he feels like he could be doing something to “fix” something and he cant do anything it freaks him out. hes a healer, you know. i think working out is a big stress reliever for him 🥺my strong baby!! that and goofing off w reader 🥺

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

-- this kinda ties into his weakness (and could be amplified by his younger years) but he’s afraid of not really being enough for those he loves. especially if he was teased as a kid 🥺maybe thats why in a lot of his nightmares the theme of abandonment appears a lot 🥺i made myself SAD 🥺

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

-- i asked virgo anon for help on this one 🥺and i love her so much 🥺 nate tugs on his hair when he’s nervous 🥺 he gets a lil annoyed after he buzzes it off and doesnt have much to pull on 🥺he likes to hold hands when spooning. loves to sing along to disney movies (but lets be honest, he’s the real prince KING)

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

-- well... idk if it’s fair to say he fights a lot because he tries not to resort to that - especially grad school nate. mostly because he knows he’s good at fighting. omfg... boxer!nate.... may have all my rights. and he doesn’t really wanna hurt anyone. BUT if needed!!! he will throw down. (ex. when dunc wouldnt let y/n leave the house. and then attacked him!! nate had to stand his ground 😌

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

-- idk i think nate was probably really surprised when reader gave him that second chance at friendship in the bathroom 🥺didnt think she would. on a lighter note, surprising him w fresh cooked meals always make him 🥺because... he’s trying but hasnt mastered the cooking thing yet.

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

-- he’s uhh packing ���and it hits all the right spots, you know 😳omfg and lets not forget the dickscussion we had about his head game being stronger than duncans 😌

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

-- i wasnt sure what really grossed out medical professionals (if anything djsfs) but we kinda head canon for him to be into family / pediatric medicine so anything w LOTS of blood loss probably freaks him out 

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

-- my baby. nate has really bad night terrors especially on bad(tm) days. it usually helps to have someone w him to be able to keep him calm when he wakes up 🥺if its not y/n you can bet maxie will be there for tons of kissies. he’s a sleep talker 🥺and when sleeping w you he loves being big spoon 🥺and when he’s alone, he kinda sleeps curled up and w a lot of pillows. comfort KING

[achieveandhunt]

live typing extra life 2019

part 2

warning: this was a mistake and i’m in the grapes

this starts right at Facilities vs AH. link to first post

let’s fuck some shit up babEY

oh what the fuck they’re playing a prerecorded video

last year was a fuckin doozy, nobody forget that

“legends of the under achiever” i didn’t know someone wrote my biography

why do i hear geoff screaming “FIVE FUCKIN FOUR” in my head, like in the legends of the hidden temple minecraft videos

jeremy looks. so dead inside on this fine november evening

ryan buzzing while they’re trying to explain the rules

my video quality went down so much that i thought i was watching someone playing roblox for a second

ryan “salty mother fucker” haywood has made a lovely appearance. he’s my favorite

michael and lindsay looking so domestic makes me so happy,, they’re my parents

someone donated under the name “ryan goes feral” uh??? yeah? you say that like it’s a bad thing??

oH FUCK MICHAEL GO DRIVE WIN PLEASE

jeremy HAS BROKEN OUT THE GLASSES SHIT’S SERIOUS

NO THEY’RE LOSING GOD DAMMIT

ʳʸᵃⁿ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏᵍʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ, ᵠᵘᶦᵉᵗˡʸ: ʰᵉˡᵖ

JEREMY IT’S TIME TO TEST OUT THAT NONEXISTENT GAG REFLEX AND SWALLOW THE OPPONENT’S CONTROLLER

oh nvm they’re winning again lmao

OH FUCK thEYRE LOSING

oh nvm

OH FUCK

oh nvm they unplugged his contoller lol

OH FUCKING TH EY LOST MICHAEL JONES MY HEART IS BROKEN

the amount of people watching has gone up from 32k to 40k in the past fifteen minutes

michael “hurry up you dumb cunts” jones

“oh don’t worry about destroying our cabinet, it’s essentially matchsticks”

“how are you feeling john? are you ready for this?” “MM M M Mmm mM”

TEAM NICE DYNAMITE IS NEXT AND IM READY FOR PERMANENTLY RINGING EARS FROM ALL THE LEET DONATIONS

oH god here we go

“hopefully they haven’t been saving them all day” oh honey. you’ve got a big storm coming

if xavier slaps gavin i think gav might go up in a puff of smoke

i did the math, they went up 45k+ within five minutes of team nice dynamite showing up on stream

GAVIN AND MICHAEL ARE GOING TO DIE

THERE’S GONNA BE A MOONBALL SIZED HOLE IN GAVIN’S CHEST

ryan and lindsay both donating a grand during this segment... so good

the day gavin free successfully gets a tattoo is the day i drop dead

lindsay saying she didn’t want the TND tattoo on michael but she agreed because gav is michael’s boi :((( 

i’m too sleep deprived for this i might cry

oh god michael’s punching the floor

i’m too sober for this

EIGHTY EIGHT LEET DONATIONS IN TWENTY MINUTES HOLY FUCJKIGN SHIT YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE THROWING MOONBALLS FOR FUCKIN SIX YEARS

on a sentimental note- i love how much collective love we have for gav and michael,, they deserve it all

milk boarded has some not-so-great connotations attached to it

gavin “the bullshit bitch” free

a mark nutt reference?? in my 2019 extra life????

this just in: sarah is going to obliterate gavin

oh. oh my god. that was the sound of a wet fish smacking a wall

why is jeremy the liquor goblin walking like a crab that has a bird attached to its back??? see: flapping arms

that beer and milk concoction... gag

“drink that milk yard”

“YOU GOT MY TOES MILKY”

no. nO MICHAEL NO YOUR INTESTINES NOO

michael “the milk’s in my brain” jones

“stop pouring it on people!” “iT’S HARD DICKHEAD”

lindsay is now. taking a milk shower

*caiti brings a small roll of paper towels* *gavin gently places a single paper towel on the massive puddle of milk*

no LINDSAY NO THINK OF THE CHILDREN

gavin: this has gotten way out of hand. she’s... she’s swimming in an inch of milk! everyone knows you should swim in at least two!!

the fajita seasoning will solve everythinG everyone calm down

fiona: yeah this is my first extra life. jack: and what were you expecting? fiona: this. exactly this.

ah yes. the bunny suits have arrived and michael is ready to tackle gavin

aaaand here comes the AH fanfic. it can only get worse from here so buckle up fuckos

“holy fuckeroni”

“re-reanimated trevor”

michael is so fucking smashed and god i wish that was me

“cum-ductor”

fiona “this is a white man” nova

“bone-ating” *leet donation* *leet donation* 

“ready set blow” made me genuinely bust a lung laughing

aaaand michael’s licking the floor which is to be expected

jeremy “i’m gonna actually harm you” dooley

IF ONE MORE PERSON BRINGS UP RANCH IM GOING TO WALK TO AUSTIN AND PROJECTILE VOMIT ON THE OFF TOPIC SET

no JEREMY NO YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS GET OFF THE F  L O O R

don’t get close ups on jeremy’s tongue. don’t do that to me. i don’t want nightmares

“fuck root” “let’s just fucking fuck”

1 2 3 CONSENT

michael has gone full gerkie

alfredo’s look when larry is reading the part about trevor choking him is how i feel about everything that’s happened in the past twenty minutes

almost 300k in less than an hour 

fiona saying “i don’t want this” overlaying michael humping a trash can

“TAKE THE TACO CHAD”

aaaand michael’s in the trash can

nO why is there a triangle is this a POETRY READING ALL OF A SUDDEN

oh thank god it’s over

OH FUCK THERE’S A N EPILOGUE

aaand trevor’s dead again. poor treyco

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS EVERYONE PUT A CUP IN YOUR PANTS

people singing along... what goes on

why am i downloading this fuckin song asap

jeremy turning his phone flashlight on and waving it like he’s at a concert god dammit i love these people so much

those are my BOYS

oh my gosh they’re still singing the song. why is my heart so happy from this i need to get slapped

“come on you’ve never been waterboarded before gavin?”

everyone standing in a circle shining their flashlights at gavin

someone surprise them and instead of a moonball just yeet a whole gallon of milk at them

actually, on second thought, no

OH god GavIN Is GOING to Die 

gavin “i forgot to breathe” free

several milk explosions

gavin “my brain is cold” free

michael has milk dripping from his ears

i’m about to pass out i don’t know what’s happening

michael is in the grapes right now man

how many moonballs? oh, only 107. :)

i’m not writing this part- you guys have to watch the moonball segment yourself, if you didn’t watch it live!

team nice dynamite finishes up with over 300k!! holy shit, that’s so cool! this community is awesome

werewolf is up next!

xavier is such a gentleman can we keep him

alfredo: *chooses to kill miles* trevor in the audience: *silently freaking out*

xavier is about ruin another man on stream

miles has no self preservation instinct

barbara is now smelling fiona

this just in: i love alfredo and 100% would have done the same thing

trevor running up to film alfredo getting smacked. what an icon

alfredo SCREAMING oh my god i felt it in my soul

the high-five of the backs in solidarity of intense pain

miles choosing alfredo is so fucking good

and also, i feel so bad 

his heart might shoot out of his asshole this time guys

oh NOOO HE’s so bruised :(((( fredo nooo :((

oh my god it’s gotten to the usual point in the stream where you start to question whether someone is going to die this time

rip blaine but at least i think he can take the hit

he can but ouch it still hurts me 

barbara “i’m participating in the game” dunkleman

yo miles might win this game

the crowd when someone needs to shoot barb: TREVOR TREVOR TREVOR! trevor, with the strength of a thousand suns: N O

people are now chanting about shooting an unprotected trevor. the man already died once this stream god dammit

alfredo is about to throw hands for fiona

that’s a big F in the chat for miles, but his loss is well deserved

xavier’s hands could serve as a defibrillator

alfredo showed jeremy his chest and jeremy shied away as if he was looking at the sun

 --- i’m taking another break to finish an assignment---

i’m barely alive and it’s ready set show time 

oh god please no more shock collars

i’m so fucking tiiiiredd please take thge res t of this post  wigth  a grain of salt lbecasue i can hardly type at this ponitn 

“do you want to control the shock collars” “will there be repercussions” “no” “fuck yeah i’ll do it then”

“smother the children. steal the baby” “DONT STEAL THE BABY TREVOR”

lunging forward “s c a r e  t h e  b a b y” “OKAY I’M PASSING THIS ONE”

“you can’t bake popcorn????” jeremy hits the floor

alec and matt clearly = dream team

oh thasnk god the shock collars are on their arms now i was stressed out for chris earlier

this stream does not promote recreational nyquil usage 

i don’t even know how to explain the pure insanity of what ready set show has become

alec has become this whole segment

i would write more but i have no thoughts because my brain doesn’t work

larry “makes people fuck other people besides their wife” insert last name that my brain can’t come up with

anyways. marbles

oh. no marbles

i’ve blacked out idk what happened during backwardz compatible

i mean i was awake but does that really mean anything at this point

SPPOKU PSOOKY SPPOKKKY SPOOOKY !!! FUCL YEAH 

cole is so good during this segment

oh so many 1337s right away 

the real scariest thing during the segment: being genuine

oH my god the scream being pitched up. i have fucking dogs outside of my house now

i don’t fuck w/ ghosts no thank you

“aba-jail” wow if u guys weren’t gonna get haunted before you will now

okay i’m about to pass out i have to take a nap

oH fucking I SLEPT until thirty minutes before the en d  fuck

conclusion: this community is incredible and raised an unimaginable amount of money for charity. the fact that rooster teeth does this every year is awesome, and honestly, it makes me feel hopeful in times when things aren’t so great. so yeah! for the kids & stuff 

[floatingpetals]

Peace and Quiet?

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Angst-ish, language, the reader makes a poor decision, fluff as well  

Word Count: 5900+ 

Request: “I seriously love your longer one shots! Could you please do a Cap (or Bucky) + reader, where the reader is kinda loud/outgoing because of not wanting to be forgotten or something? And the reader figures they make him uncomfortable and shuts everyone out, leading to him confessing he likes the reader? Fluff please?” @homeybadger

A/N:  Wow so uhh, this has been a request that’s been sitting in my inbox for sooooo looonnng. No seriously, like super long. I feel so bad that it’s taken me just now to get to it. I wanted to do something nice with it, but I just couldn’t get it right, then I forgot it was there and then I remember and scrapped the whole thing. I hope you enjoy this story and I hope the length makes up for it! I did not mean to take so long on this! I hope you all enjoy!! 

**I’m also debating on doing a second part, but it all depends on the feedback I get. So please let me know what you think! ❤

Gifs not mine, credit to the creator!

“Oh, bad luck. You landed on Boardwalk,” Sam smirked, a giggle beginning to bubble in his chest as the rage that was settling on Y/N’s face across the table. She glared at the double dice, a freaking snake eye, that had been against her the entire game. “And if my math is correct, with my three houses you owe me $1400. And from the looks of your very sad pile, you’ll have to sell everything on top of declaring bankruptcy.”

“I hate this game!” Y/N screamed, throwing down the $300 hundred she had left.

“Hey, don’t hate the game!” Natasha shot back, grinning behind her beer bottle. Y/N shot her glare.

“Oh, shut up! You and Clint have been cheating the entire time and you know it!” she growled. Clint gasped but was cut off by a sharp jab in the ribs by Bucky. He grumbled and pulled out the chance cards he had stashed away, and nudge Natasha to pull out the money she had hidden away. “See! This game sucks!”

“Now, now. No need to go all green on us.” Tony grinned. Bruce made a noise before letting out a puff of air. Irritated with both the game and how smug everyone was acting, Y/N exploded with a primal battle cry.

“Fuck this game! You people are all cheaters!”

Everyone had enough time to grab their drinks off before Y/N flipped the table, the pieces flying everywhere. Bucky and Wanda both doubled over in their seats, howling when Y/N began to scream at Tony, who jumped up and was yelling back at the same volume. Clint and Natasha were grinning like idiots as the mayhem grew. Bruce rolled his eyes when Sam jumped in, normally the tone the room shifted would set him on edge, but this wasn’t unusual. The only person that wasn’t reacting, save for Vision who had no idea why tensions were so high over a silly game, was Steve.

He had decided to sit this game night out. After the Mario Party debacle, he wasn’t ready to jump back in the ring. Thor spun a wheel and tossed a dart to cut someone’s stars in half. He landed on Y/N’s. While she was once in the lead, that cut her stars in half and she was suddenly in last place. That was fine. It was when she was hit by Bowser, who Tony was playing as when they managed to let him loose of his little prison that she flipped her lid. The team got a kick out of her raging at the games, and all banded together to see how quickly she could snap. Steve, however, didn’t see the charm in it.

To put it lightly, Y/N was a lot to handle. She was everywhere all at once to begin with, her voice carrying through walls. There wasn’t a single mean bone in her body, aside from her intense competitive streak. She seemed to win over anybody. Steve still wasn’t sure. He’d admit, she was sweet and everyone else seemed to love her. Steve thought she was cute too, sometimes she would fall asleep on the couch and he’d find himself taking advantage of her stillness to stare. But she never stopped to breathe once it seemed. He couldn’t recall a time where she wasn’t talking loudly about something or practically bouncing off the walls from excitement. She was a lot more than he was used to. Y/N made his head spin. It wasn’t terrible, but it was a bit exhausting after a while around her. It also didn’t help that sometimes her power manifested with her growing emotions. Which is what was happening right now.

“You’re the one who wanted us to play this stupid game!” Tony accused, rolling his eyes.

“Did not! I specifically said that I thought it was a stupid idea because I always end up flipping a table! You’re the one who then said we had to play it since learning that bit of information.” She countered pointing a finger at him. Tony stopped, a sly grin spreading across his face.

“Oh yeah.”

“Ugh!” She grumbled. “You people are so frustrating! Why do you do this to me?!”

“Because it’s fun.” Tony grinned, his eyes flashing with glee. That was the wrong thing to say. Now Y/N really was angry. She grits her teeth and balled her fists at her side. If this was a cartoon, she’d have steam coming out of her ears she was so angry. Unbeknownst to her, her powers started to manifest with her mounting fury, afflicting the others in the room.

Y/N’s power was special and even a bit strange considering how specific it was. Since she could remember, Y/N always had the gift to control the aura around her to suppressed others authority and leadership skills. It was a power that had come handy in her life, but also hindered her more than it helped. She had a rather strong grip on it at all times, but sometimes that control slipped. Tony’s face paled, and everyone else around her started to shift uncomfortably.

“Uh-Y/N.” Wanda reached out, her fingers gently brushing against the back of Y/N’s arm. Wanda flinched, the contact enough to send her the full force of Y/N’s strange power, but she fought to stay strong. Y/N blinked, quickly realizing the shift in the room was because of her. Her shoulder’s dropped and the suffocating aura surrounding her disappeared. The room sighed collectively in relief.

“See. This is why you shouldn’t poke the bear.” Y/N huffed, crossing her arms against her chest. Tony chuckled and shook his head.

“It’s nice to know you’re aware.” Sam let out a laugh as well, grinning widely at her. She grumbled under her breath and turned to sit back in her seat. As she did, she scanned the room and noticed a spot empty. Standing straighter she glanced around the room.

“Hey, where did Steve go?”

The group collectively turned around, just now noticing the empty seat their Captain once took up as well. Bucky frowned and shot a look to Natasha, who seemed on the same page. Slowly, he turned to back to Y/N.

“Uh... Maybe he decided to turn in early.” He tried. The team seemed to take it, albeit skeptically. He had been doing this a lot lately, getting up at disappearing without a word. No one wanted to say it aloud, but they all noticed it happened around the time Y/N came to the team four months ago.

Y/N stilled, her eyes hardening for a split second before they seemed to glaze over. Shaking her head, she heaved a sigh.

“I’m gonna turn in early too. Sorry, this little outburst just took a lot out of me.” She said, stepping over the discarded pieces and was out of the room before anyone could argue. The room had shifted into a subdued atmosphere, everyone thinking the same thing.

“Someone needs to talk to him.” Wanda murmured. Bucky nodded, letting out a sigh.

“I’ll talk to him.” He said. The rest all murmured in agreement, slowly trickling out the room since game night clearly was done for the evening. They could only hope tomorrow would end on a better note.

~~~~~~~

Y/N sat on her bed, clinging to her favorite stuffed animal wondering just where she went wrong. Since she joined the team a few short months ago, she had been trying her best to get close to the rest of her teammates. Naturally, she was a bubbly person. But her gift made it harder for her to get close to anyone. Her parents thought it was odd, the power came from nowhere when she hit the age of three. It took them time to figure out that it wasn’t because she was incredibly intimidating and that she was unintentionally suppressing their confidence level.

They spent years taking her to doctors and specialists that might be able to help her control her powers. It wasn’t without consequences. Because she struggled for so long to control her powers, she spent a lot of her life unintentionally hurting those around her.

Her classmates didn’t know what exactly, but they knew something was wrong with her. She spent the majority of her school years alone in the corner, shunned from taking part of anything in her classes. If anyone tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, something always went wrong. They were terrified of her. The fear turned to indifference and eventually, they paid her no mind. No one wanted her in their lives. But for Y/N, she wanted nothing more than to be accepted and included.

Which might explain why she was the way she was today. It took years to master her control, but she did it. And now that she was an Avenger, she was surrounded by people who were like her. Special and unique. Nowhere else could she be herself as she could here. This was her last chance of being free and she never wanted to be forgotten.

It didn’t take her long to win over the others. They were more than aware of what she could do. Not a one batted an eyelash, no one shrank away in fear they’d be subjected to the smothering fear she could plague them with. If anything, it fascinated them. She was the one who they’d send in to interrogate. Whether on location or in a holding cell, it didn’t matter. Her power was a gift to get the tightest of lips to talk. For the first time in her life, Y/N felt as though she had finally found her calling.  

Y/N was proud of how far she had come. It was years of uphill battles and year left in the shadows. But now, she had it all, friends, her family and a job she loved. All except the acceptance of Steve. He was polite, but he always had an air of discomfort around her. Not with anyone else, just her. Y/N hated to admit it, but it hurt.

Since the day she met him, Y/N fell hard. Who couldn’t though? He was charming, cared for his friends and protective of his family. But for some reason, he just didn’t seem like he enjoyed being around her. Perhaps, she thought, it was something she said to him. She couldn’t recall anything that might set his teeth on edge, but she was at a loss.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Y/N set her stuffed animal down on the bed and swung her legs over the side. She knew she shouldn’t dwell too much on it. He could very well be in a bad mood, and it could confidently only be when she’s in the same room. She snorted. Yeah, that was it.

No, she thought, there was something more about it. Thinking back all the times she noticed he’d got running, realization hit her like a freight train. Every time he ran, it was because of something she did. It was her. A broken sob crept it’s way up her throat. She was the reason, that was the only thing it could be. Steve Rogers, the man who unknowingly held her heart in his hands, was uncomfortable with her. She clenched the sheets of the bed and held back her tears.

Y/N had to change. Her behavior had always been a problem, she knew that. She was so terrified of being left alone and forgotten again, she let her eagerness go too far. Falling back on the bed, she stared at the ceiling and came to a life-altering decision.

~~~~~

“Hey! There you are!” Natasha grinned motioning Y/N over to her mat. “I was wondering if you’d ever show up or if I’d have to go up to pull you out of bed.”

Y/N didn’t respond with her usual quip, just sent her a tight-lipped smile and a soft apology. Natasha blinked her lack of typical response slightly off-putting. Where was her boisterous hello and never-ending pouts of energy? It was one of the fun things about working out with Y/N first thing in the morning. This wasn’t usual of her at all.

“Okay.” Natasha drawled, looking over Y/N to try and decipher her new attitude. “Well, let’s get started on stretching you at, then we’ll get on the mat to spar.”

Y/N wordlessly nodded, moving over to where the yoga mats were laid out waiting for her. Natasha took up the spot next to her, keeping her eyes especially close on Y/N. Aside from her uncharacteristically quiet demeanor, it didn’t seem like there was a hair out of place on her. Although, her movement seemed a bit on the robotic side. Y/N was just going through the motions, getting done with her stretches before wordlessly making her way over to the mats without a glance to Natasha.

Natasha sat up and watched Y/N leave without a word, flabbergasted. Things seemed fine last night, aside from Steve’s abrupt disappearance. As far as Natasha knew, Y/N had gone straight to her room to sleep. And everyone was either here in the gym or Tony and Bruce in the lap. So, what happened to Y/N?

“Hey, you okay?” Natasha asked, catching Y/N’s elbow.

“What do you mean?” Y/N tilted her head to the side, brows furrowed.

“I don’t know,” Natasha said slowly, her gaze narrowing the longer she stared at Y/N. “You just seem… off today.”

“Oh.” She uttered simply. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Pulling her arm away from Natasha, Y/N wandered over to where Sam was now standing with Bucky. Their smile grew at the sight of her, both unaware of Y/N’s new behavior.

“Good morning sunshine!” Sam beamed at her, wrapping her up in a hug. Y/N let out a faint giggle as she hugged him back. Bucky grinned and tilted his head in greeting.

“Morning doll. You sleep okay last night? I didn’t hear your snores through the paper-thin walls last night.”  He teased, nudging her with his shoulder. Y/N huffed but surprisingly bit her tongue.

“Morning Bucky. Yeah, I slept fine.” Y/N shrugged, her face showing little to no emotions. “We ready to get started.”

Both men were stunned, completely thrown off by her sudden change. They shot Natasha a startled look, who could only shrug. She hadn’t the faintest idea either what happened. Y/N wasn’t supplying them with anything either, so all they could do was continue as if nothing was wrong. It didn’t mean they weren’t going to question her later of course.

Getting done with their training was odd, uncomfortable even. Y/N didn’t speak unless spoken to, and even then they were short simple answers. There was none of her usual spunkiness that fought back with each quip Sam sent her way. He even tried to rile her up, he almost pulled out all the stops in a hope to gain a reaction from her. But she didn’t move an inch. Bucky tried to get her to react when he threw a punch harder than necessary her way. They thought they had her, there was a spark of fury in her eyes after she picked herself up, but she quickly wiped the expression on her face.

In the end, Y/N went through the motions, doing what needed to be done without her usual flare. At one point, Wanda had even commented on how unusually quiet she had been. When Y/N left to head to the locker room, she cornered Bucky and Sam.

“What did you two do?” she hissed, jabbing a finger in Sam’s chest. He made a noise in the back of his throat offended at the accusation.

“What the hell makes you think we did anything?” Bucky crossed his arms across his chest. Wanda turned her narrow gaze to Bucky.

“Well. Something happened to her. And I know Natasha wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.”

“Oh and we would?” Sam snapped, shaking his head. “We didn’t do anything to her Wanda, she was like this when she came in.”

“He’s right.” Natasha interrupted, siding with the two men. “She’s been like this all morning. I have no clue why.”

The door the locker room opened, Y/N walking freshly out of the shower and a new change of clothes. She stopped short when she saw all four eyes locked on her across the room. Awkwardly, she waved to them before heading to the exit. Right as she reached it, Steve swung open the door, towel in hand. His steps faltered and a tight-lipped smile passed on her face.

The group couldn’t see her face from where they stood. All they could see was her nod her head once before stepping around Steve with a wide berth to head out the exit. Steve was left stunned. It wasn’t normal to not have his ear talked off when it came to Y/N. Blinking rapidly, he wandered over to Bucky, brows furrowed in confusion.

“What she say?” Wanda asked. Steve’s mouth fell open to answer but couldn’t find the right words.

“Uh… Nothing.” He shrugged.

“And you don’t find that strange?” Wanda asked the group, pinning each of them with her stare. Bucky bristled at the insinuation, his hands balling into fists.

“We never said it wasn’t. We just have no idea what’s wrong with her.” He snapped, stepping up with his back straighter and shoulders set. Wanda glared right back, red seeping into her eyes. Natasha wiggled her way between them, grumbling under her breath.

“Alright. Alright, enough.” She held her hands out to both, pushing them back. “Wanda, we have no clue what happened. Y/N walked in like this. It’s probably nothing and she’s just having an off day. Why don’t we just let whatever happened run its course and see how she is through the rest of the day. No point on biting each other’s heads off when we all did nothing wrong.”

The group grumbled their agreement, still not at ease with how the morning had turned. Steve was just as concerned as the rest. It was odd that she didn’t greet him with her megawatt smile when he walked in the gym, and it was odd how her face seemed to tighten at the sight of him. All he got this morning was a tight-lipped smiled before she ran out the door. What was even odder was the fact that she seemed to give him as much space as possible. As if she didn’t want to get too close.

Steve turned to the door, his brows creased and mouth in a tight line. Something was going on with Y/N, but who was he to worry about her?

~~~~~~~~

Things hadn’t gotten much better with Y/N over the next few days. She had stopped taking part in the loud discussions that always managed to start up in the kitchen or the living room. Her words were short and few in between, but she didn’t seem upset. Just much more subdued than usual. When someone would speak to her, so would she. But it was never the same volume as before.

Sam and Clint both made it their mission to get her to snap. They did everything from switching her sugar to salt in her coffee to going into her room and putting baby powder in her hair dryer. Nothing worked. She would just sigh and turn her back to them, shoulders tense. They thought she’d give up and go back to her old ways, but nothing worked. Not even Natasha could get her to admit what was wrong.

Steve, however, was taking her attitude change harder than the rest. Don’t ask him why he didn’t even know. He thought he’d prefer her at a lower decibel, he assumed she would be more manageable and easier to get along with. But this, this wasn’t what he thought it would be like. To him, it almost seemed creepy. This wasn’t the Y/N he had come to know. The wasn’t the same woman in the slightest. It was as if someone else swapped personalities with her.

Y/N hadn’t shown any improvement in her attitude in the field either. Actually, she seemed to be less productive now. One of the ways she managed to get people to confess was using her power and then releasing it. There she’d act like a good cop, bargaining with them for information and if they didn’t give her what she wanted, she’d switch her powers back on again. Now, she just threw herself into it. There was no build up, no false sense of security.

Just last week they needed information about the next hit Hydra ordered. They apprehended one of the agents and sent in Y/N to get out the information when he wouldn’t fess up. The team assumed the old Y/N would come out now that she was in the field. Instead, she walked in and used the full force of her powers on the man. She was already so powerful, but she had a strong grip on her control. When her power flared to life, even with the thick walls it suffocated everyone.

The agent instantly started sobbing, blubbering like a small child before it grew to mindless screaming for mercy. As it turns out, her power can actually break the human spirit and shatter their sanity into a thousand pieces. It only affected the man in front of her, but it still rattled the rest of the group. Steve was furious.

“What the hell was that?!” He snarled, dragging Y/N into a conference room. She blinked, her face unmoving despite the rage rolling off him in waves. Tony, Fury, and Maria both sat around the meeting table, their mouths pulled into thin lines. She tore her gaze away, refusing to look at anyone in particular as Steve raged on. “You ruined any chances of getting information out of him!”

“Actually Cap, she ruined any chance of him being a normal human being again,” Tony interjected, pulling up a hologram of the doctor's report. The mental status report had been sent in a few moments before Steve dragged her in. The poor man couldn’t remember his name let alone the information they needed.

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers and let out a heavy breath. When she opened them, their faces hadn’t changed a bit. Settling on a point at the table, the brief glimpse she caught of their expressions was burned in her mind. Steve was livid, Tony seemed borderline irritated with a hint of amusement, while Fury and Maria both had a hard expression that told her she was in for it for the next few weeks.

“Look. I’m sorry. I let a few personal matters get to me and clearly, I didn’t handle it well.” She said calmly. Steve flinched at how lifeless she sounded when she mentioned her personal matter and shot Tony a concerned look. Tony tilted his head in acknowledgment, he too aware of the pain she seemed to be suppressing. “I can’t promise it won’t happen again by accident, but I’ll make sure to put more training in to ensure it doesn’t.”

Fury shifted in his seat, folding his hands on his crossed knee. His single eye narrowed as he looked her over and gave her a curt nod.

“See that it doesn’t agent. Dismissed.” He said curtly. Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut for a spilt-second before she jerked her chin and spun at heel to leave the room. After the door shut behind her, Fury grunted.

“What did you people do to her?” He accused, leveling Steve and Tony with a stare. Both men frowned and glanced at the other.

“We didn’t do anything.” Tony snapped, narrowing his eyes. Steve set his hand on the back of a chair and sighed.

“She’s been like this for almost a week now. This is the first time she’s actually admitted something wrong.” Steve replied, his brows furrowing at the tightness in his chest at the idea. It wasn’t like Y/N to keep everything bottle up inside her like this.

“Well, whatever’s wrong with her, fix it,” Fury ordered. “She needs to be in complete control and that can’t happen when her minds on other things.”

Pushing back the chair he stood, Maria right behind him. Not waiting for a reply, he grabbed the folder off the desk and briskly left the room with Maria following. Steve flinched when the door snapped shut behind them. Tony scoffed.

“You can get rid of that sad puppy dog look, Captain.”

Steve frowned, his head snapping up to Tony.

“What’s with the tone, Tony?” He asked. Tony rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

“We all know you don’t like Y/N, you put up a good front though.” He waved a hand absently. “But when you dart out of a room anytime she comes in, or you won’t sit to talk with her when she comes to find you, it gets pretty noticeable.”

Steve stood taller, his mouth drawing into a tight line. He opened his mouth to argue, but it dawned on him. He hadn’t been the most welcoming person to Y/N in the few months she’s been here. Was that really how everyone perceives him? Tony smirked and shook his head.

“To put it simply; you’ve been an ass to our Y/N, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something you did.” Groaning softly under his breath, Tony stood and grabbed his tablet. Steve’s face fell, the notion her change might have been because of him made his stomach turn. Tony clapped a hand on his shoulder, his mouth pulled into a tight line. “Like Fury said, we’re going to fix this. But don’t worry. We won’t waste your precious time.”

At that, Tony left Steve alone in the conference room, the sting of his words lingering behind. Steve’s shoulder slumped. Maybe this had been his fault. But when? How? He really didn’t think it would have been that big of a deal to leave early after the game. Maybe he thought wrong and she did take it wrong. That wouldn’t mean this complete 180 though, would it? It wasn’t the first time he escaped a game night gone wrong, and she didn’t seem upset them. Perhaps it was something else. That had to be it. He really hadn’t done anything wrong, at least he didn’t think he did.

“Hey FRIDAY,” Steve called. Immediately, the AI system responded.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Go back to the last game night, the one with monopoly, did anything happen to Y/N between the time I left, and she went to bed?” He asked. Silence met him as the computer searched the data.

“No, it doesn’t seem like anything happened. She never left her room once she entered either.” FRIDAY replied. Steve frowned, even more, confused than before. So if there wasn’t anything that happened to her then what was with change?

Clenching his jaw, Steve knew he needed to get to the bottom of this. Not just as a Captain to his team, but as a way to make up for being such a shitty housemate. And maybe even as a way to start an actual friendship with him. Now that he’s seen this side of her, he realized how judgment and close-minded he was. He needed to find her and talk with her.

~~~~

Y/N had just stripped out of her suit and into her PJs when there was a hesitant knock on the door. She frowned. She wasn’t expecting anyone tonight, especially not after she just got her ass handed to her. Reluctantly she went to open the door and was surprised at the person on the other side.

Steve stood there awkwardly, his hands in his pockets. She blinked and took a step back.

“Uh… hi?” she greeted cautiously.  Steve smiled hesitantly and shifted from foot to foot.

“Hey. Can we talk?”

“W-Why?” She clutched on the handle and shifted behind the door in an attempt to hide behind it. Steve noticed and his smile fell. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I know I’m the last person you want to talk to. I’ve not been the most welcoming and I want to apologize. Can I please come in?” He asked earnestly. Y/N was caught off guard at his sincerity. Nodding numbly, she pulled the door open and let him in her room.

Steve glanced around the room, noticing the number of pictures she had hanging up on her wall, pretty fairy lights cascading down the walls illuminating each photo. Her comforter was a light lilac with stuffed animals on the bed. He eyed the little knickknacks matched the rest of her décor on her desks and shelves adding to the warmth and homey feel her room had. Realization hit him that he really hadn’t taken the time to get the real her.

“Go ahead and have a seat.” Y/N waved to the bed before sitting on the other end. Steve sank into the plush mattress, taking a moment to look over Y/N. She refused to make eye contact, to busy wringing her fingers together to notice him staring. Once again, he was struck by how beautiful she was, and how poorly he handled everything.

“Look Y/N, I don’t know what happened the past few days and why you’re acting different, but somethings changed. We all can see it.” He said. Y/N opened her mouth to argue but thought better of it. Steve continued on. “I don’t know what happened, but it hurts all of us to see you like this. It’s like you’ve lost a huge part of yourself and we’re seeing this empty shell. I mean, Sam and Clint both are losing their minds because what ordinarily would work on getting you riled up is doing nothing. And Bucky’s beside himself, Natasha and Wanda are worried sick, and Tony is pissed because-.” Steve stopped short, his face twisting into a pained expression. “He thinks I’m the reason.”

Y/N tensed, her breath catching in her throat. It was minuscule, but Steve caught it. He sat taller and his stomach sank.

“It is because of me.” He whispered sadly. He tore his eyes away from her to stare blankly at his hands. Y/N closed her eyes but didn’t deny it. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve not been accepting. I didn’t mean to hurt you though.”

Y/N nodded slowly, biting her lower lip as he kept talking.

“Truth is, you intimidate the hell out of me. I’ve never met someone who was so sure of themselves and so incredibly proud about it. You held nothing back and you’re so willing to put your heart on your sleeve, I kind of envy you a little. People loved you right of the bat and your just so sweet inside and out. I mean, you didn’t let anyone tell you to chill out before. Which leaves me to ask, why now? Why did I affect you so much that you changed everything about you?”

That caused Y/N’s face to heat up. No way was she going to admit it aloud! It was already embarrassing enough Steve knew he was a reason why she changed, but for him to know what the full reason was mortified her.

“Y/N.” He gently took her hand in his, the corners of his lips turned up. “You don’t have to tell me. I just want you to know that no matter what you think, I don’t hate you. I never did. Matter of fact, I really like you. More than I thought. It didn’t hit me how much I’d come to admire and appreciate your take on life until now. I miss hearing you bicker with Tony about the best brew coffee first thing in the morning or when you and Bucky gang up on Sam. I know Natasha and Wanda miss having their best friend. And game nights will never be the same without you threatening and then following through with flipping a table.”

Y/N giggled and ducked her chin. His grin grew, finally seeing a glimmer of her former self.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me for how I’ve behaved. I can only ask you’ll give me a chance to make up for being such a shitty person.” He grinned.

“Language, Captain.” Y/N teased.

“Is that ever going to die?” Steve groaned and rolled his eyes. “Wait you weren’t even there!”

“I know but hate to break it to you, it’s here for the long haul.” Y/N giggled and shook her head. Steve’s laughter joined hers, his smile stretching from ear to ear. He titled his head to the side after a beat before letting out a sigh.

“So, are you going to be okay?” He asked hopefully. Y/N let out a deep breath, for the first time all week feeling lighter. She was so drained from keeping her emotions in check, it took every ounce of her strength not to react to the attempts at making her snap. She knew it was ridiculous trying to change, but she really thought it was for the better. Turns out, it not only damaged her but everyone she loved.

“Yeah. I think I’ll be okay.” She spoke confidently. Steve patted her thigh and quickly stood.

“Good, because Tony discovered some new game called The Jackbox Party Pack or something along those lines.” He extended a hand and waited for her to take it.

“Wait, right now?” She asked surprised. He nodded and took her hand.

“Yup. Come on. Team bonding time.”

Y/N laughed, letting him pull her up and drag her out of the room. He looked at her over his shoulder, his breath catching in her throat at the way her face lit up from her grin. Turning back quickly, he hoped she didn’t notice the way his ears turned pink. He was an idiot for not taking the time to get to know her. He wasn’t going to ruin his chance with her a second time. Maybe it wasn’t going to easy, but for Y/N he knew it would be worth it.

Perma Tag: (CLOSED)

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Steve Tag: (Open)

@biologik / @screamimalive / @ahsokastarwars / @bucky-smiles / @robfangirl /

(Let me know if I missed you, the strike means I can’t tag you for some reason.)

[gangtheway]

42 45 50 gogogo

42. do you prefer gazing wistfully out the window or lying dramatically over the sofa?

i do both simultaneously. but given that im sitting all day at work, i flop on couches like no other. then slep.

45. favorite pajamas?

some kinda sweatpant/pj pant with pockets (not flannel unless its actually cold out) and a tshirt from somewhere that was giving out free tshirts at some point in my life.

shirt n socks optional depending on temperature

50. what’s your dreamhouse? 

i am constantly flip flopping between extravagant mansion with hidden passages and secret rooms/ small house within walking distance to a supermarket where i can just lock myself in, emerging only for supplies on an annual basis.

but see a big house is harder to clean and also im gonna be living alone and at that point the only upside is the acoustics of a big house for dramatic speeches to a dog.

definitely needs a slot for mail and packages. maybe a smart fridge so i stop eating spoiled food. roomba for cleaning up. A/C and heater is a must. black-out curtains bc fuckt he sun.

aaaa i want a library even though i havent read an actual book in YEARS. mostly so i can hide doors behind bookshelves. Oh. I could put a whole fucking maze behind bookshelves just for funsies since this is a dream house. I will build a hidden labyrinth for brooding and also maybe so when i die no one can find my body until a couple of intrepid teens happen upon it years later and go on an adventure.

oh you know what lets put a big ol tv in here somewhere for games. and like 50 really good computers incase i break one. homeless people can come into the computer room and use them. there’s free laptops and phones for them too. they came with the house shhh. there’s a 3d printer.

one room has the entire library of alexandria in it. i saved it by making a time paradox and now its in my house that can be filleld with literally anything. i cant read any of them though bc im dumb. so there’s like a scientist chilling in my house too i guess.

one room opens to space. just as an option. yes there is an endless vacuum behind this door and yes it will kill me instantly but its fuckign SPACE. i can shoot shit through a vacuum tube to go into space too. i shoot all my embarrassing poetry adn art into space and the aliens make a religion about them. im the 7th grade god now.

oh yeah theres a room filled with money. actually its a corridor full of doors that lead into the bank accounts of the rich. like the physical versions of them. i use this corridor to become robin hood and finally find fulfillment in life. i steal all the crown jewels and send them to their countries of origin. OH and also doors into museums. im gonna do crimes of culture. save the cultures. give them their art back. and leave a calling card with just a crude drawing of a dick at the museum. i become known as the cock crusader but SURPRISE i didnt have a cock this whole time its the perfect crime.

theres another room thats a straight up time machine. i go into the past and un-birth hitler. i seduce his mom/dad/grandpappy and then also matchmake them to randos. i proceed to appear at various points in history as a mythical creature. i m the mothman i predict the tragedies now.

i have a room of spiders. i throw my enemies in there. i dont really have any enemies yet. i hope one day i will so i dont waste the spider room.

theres probably a pool somewhere too. it’s filled with the cure for all disease but it doesnt work unless you have less than 1 million dollars of material wealth. i dont make the rules. the pool does.

at least one room is noneuclidean. i dont know how it works either so take it up with god

theres a room with real pokemon. no mr mimes though bc he freak me out. tbh its mostly pikachus bc im basic af with my faves and pikachu herds sound adorable and i will die.

another room is like. a room where you go and talk to people who died. not like a dedicated ouija room. thats in the bomb shelter. no like you sit at a table and their soul just floats on over and theres a hologram and everything.

i have a ton of robots. theyre all vaguely sexy. they make me uncomfortable but i am irresponsible with my power

one room has a megaphone. when you speak into it it doesnt make any noise but instead it beams your voice into the mind of who youre thinking of. i use it to brighten the days of my friends and destroy the psyches of my enemies. still dont have any enemies yet. would it be overkill to do this in addition to the spiders?

there is an attic filled with mannequins. this is my nightmare room. i never go there and i pretend it doesnt exist. when someone wanders in there, their heads follow their movement wordlessly. they dont do anything but its really unnerving and no one likes it.

there is a completely soundproof room that i go into and make whatever noises i want. no one can hear me here. i practice doing accents where no one can hear how bad and ashamed i am. even with no one else listening, i get self-conscious. this room is now the Screaming Room for makign stress noises in.

one room is filled with conversation starter cards and a mirror. i go here and study often. the cards ask me about my childhood traumas and i burn them. the room is now a room for pep-talks. i get self-conscious halfway through the peptalk and walk out, dejected. why is talking so hard.

one room opens into a ranch. it’s where we put all the shelter pets. there are therapy areas for them so they learn love and be loved again. they run in large open areas and are happy and fuzzy and clean and full. it’s staffed by people who know how toactually take care of animals. i go there sometimes to get swarmed by big ol dogs and big ol cats and so many fuzzy babies. then i go to the allergy removal room bc i didnt think that through.

there’s a never-ending food room. i dont know where it comes from or how fully-prepared food just appears like that. world hunger is ended and im still a lazy shit and forget to eat more than a single tortilla. the food doesnt make you sick or unhealthy its just good food that tastes good and feels good and is good. there is maybe an onion corner and i dont acknowledge its existence aside from the occassional glance.

theres a dumb bitch dungeon for the people i have a one-sided hatred for who ruin life for the entire planet. it shoots off into space. they get dissected and analyzed by aliens. the aliens decide to never come to earth bc jfc is this really what yall do. a small price to pay. maybe other aliens might come and be chill. i have a room for the aliens just in case.

theres other houses for people i care about and a few more for those i dont yet know that i care about. no rent. just a place to live and be happy. its filled with friends and happiness and i really want this eldritch abomination of a house now.

im v sleepy OH YEAH AND A RLY BIG CRAFT ROOM

[convxction]

// a rant i started on twi.tter dot com and now it bugs me more than ever.

Basically, it feels ..weird?? to see chrom with anyone from the shepherds. what i was thinking that chrom was not meant to be the exalt, the king of the country he was just a dork prince going around wherever he wants and doing whatever he wants at any given time he wanted. so let’s think about it logically, if he found someone he love, yes they would love him back but they knew that eventually, they might become the king’s consort/Queen. They have at least some years to get used to the whole court life and stuff but with emmeryn’s death that was fast-forwarded like DEJA VU PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean think about it logically, whoever is with him wouldn't they suddenly get..scared??? freaked out??? they are about to marry the king not the prince anymore. their life that they thought to go to be climbing the stair one step after the other is just a marathon to reach the top. AND there is no time to think about it since they are fighting a war and stuff you know. just think about how terrified you would be if you know you are going to marry the exalt/king. not only this is a new completely life, but the future is not as fun you might think. the anxeity you will build just thinking about yourself, your safety, your future children’s safety. you are going to be in constant pain and worry because there are a lot of people who want to have your husband’s head ad they might do anything to do it and maybe kidnaping your children is a way. kidnap for money?? ransom??? a constant living in fear and worry, who would want that life?? love is nice and dandy but it does not solve everything. 

maybe because i keep refreshing my memory with the supports and especially after the recent support analysis i looked at some over and...really...chrom....maybe does not fit with anyone. everyone in the shepherds are actually a good fit for one another but chrom feels ...distant to them. he loves them all and would protect them with everything he got but...i wonder if he is destined to be with one of them. hear me out dont send anon hate or i will throw a frying pan on your face. look, ....sumia is a good gal but she makes a good partner to someone else maybe like gaius he is a really good dad for cynthia. heck or anyone you fancy. The same goes with maribelle ..she let’s face it might not like ..love chrom for his person. sully does not care about anyone amirite? i cant say about her since im not rping her but i can see her a person who wants to build her future first before having children so she does not have any regrets. avatar is....ouch avatar is great and all but ...again..they seem better with other units. they seem to have...more purpose of being with someone more than beign wth chrom. it feels more like obligated since it was chrom the first person they saw, the first person who was kind to them, the person who accepted them without knowing much. but wouldnt be just ..feeling thankful and sense of obligation that they are tricked and thought it is love? but hey that aint stopping me from loving my chrobin ship in here dont be botherd. olivia too cute with everyone and it feels..an angst of reason to have them married to just make inigo suffer more. any other unit that chrom could not support is the same one way or another. 

that only leaves the village maiden but she even feels like mean push to just “hey give children. thats your job.” so that as well feels...eh. i understand why in the drama cd they went with her because in there it kind of explained chrom views of love. the support system in the game and his own confessions kind of...killed what (or what I personally see it as) chrom view on love. chrom is a simple man, he loved one person in his life and that was his sister. he confessed that he loved her greatly but when you grow up you realize there is a limit to sibling love and when he met ‘the village maiden’ he realized that he can love someone MORE than he loves his sister. i dont blame chrom for loving emmeryn that much. emmeryn was everything to him, his idol, mother, father, sister, leader, everything. she is the person who is stable in his life, the pillar that is there always for him to lean on. chrom love concept is kind of jumbled up mixed with his personal fears and experiences that he suffered during his life in the castle. i mentioned before that he gets hit on by the noble ladies who just want a piece of that title. he loathed it. his view of love is not great, it is not pure. only familial love is true for him because no one has an ulterior motive; his sisters love him because they do not because they want something from him or they are forced to. thus he does not want anyone to feel pressured to accept his love just because he is the prince.so most of the time it remains as ‘oh i might not love them like love-love. it is just admiration’ 

so going back to the village maiden, i would like to...believe she is not dumb. i pretty much lean on a duchess or a duke daughter because at least, she, let’s face it would know how the court, how the noble and dukes operate. that is something that would make a difference for chrom. at least, she does not have the fright of the court and what they are up to, she has an idea on what she is signing up for when she accepted chrom’s proposal. plus.....this way, it feels...better for chrom. this way it feels like this fits chrom than anyone in the shepherds. maybe this feeling i have is based on something personally in my culture which is when you want to marry someone you two got to be on the same level of almost everything, education, status, beauty, religion etc. because problems are bound to rise because of these differences. someone might start “oh my family is better than yours” and DONT YOU LIE TO ME IF THE SPOUSE OF CHROM WOULDN’T FEEL THAT????? like everyone  from his support list are not of higher class except maribelle and even her she is not from THAT high family. there are going to be instances where they would feel the pressure of this title on them. 

you know what would be cool? break up. like imagine chrom got hooked up with someone and after chapter 7 his partner starts to have doubts because they are slowly realizing that with emm’s death...chrom is next in line so problems start to rise. until they, chrom and them maybe decide it would be better if they break up maybe give each other space to think this through if they want it because as i said before they were not expecting to happen so fast...so yeaah that would be really freaking heartbreaking and realistic who wants that shit in a game amirit??? it is about slaying a dragon man not about a prince’s pitiful love story! 

i honestly did not want to share this here because..idk ...no reason to it is just not going to do anything but..yeah..i feel bad about making someone s support with someone just for lucina to happen. cant chrom be single dad??? tho who would beget lucina...........probably village maiden...or magic. idk but the idea of chrom wifeless is....nice too...he is after all scared of loving and losing people. 

i always thought that he would care for his country first before being busy with making a family because give me a break. a man busy running around trying to fix a shitty war aftermath is probably not a very happy person, he is not stable perhaps. but then again, having a family can help root him and give him support but eeeughh i have so many ideas for chrom but all cross and contradict with each other.

again........this is daaaaaaamn long for something like this. it bothers me how it feels rushed to get chrom married. looks to the distance, he can be king without marrying someone yall. i get it is for the plot that lucina and all but if she is his daughter she can come because it is fate that chrom and her mother to meet sooner or later.....something...anyway..that is off my chest because game go wasy on chrom he has feelings and he is not dumb lord who must be ok with everything and ready to do anything. 

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

>be me >12 years old or whatever the fuck >in girl scouts because my mother wouldnt let me quit >even tho i was farrrrrrrrrr too #cool and #edgy to be doing girl scouts  >troop gets invited to a sleepover of a bunch of regional troops at a big, nice mall about an hour away >excited about possibilities for Mischief and Cool Girl Activities  >(secretly excited because sleeping in a mall is different and fun. dont tell anybody tho) >while stores are open buy some too short light wash jean low rise shorts from sears because this was like 2010  >change into them and wear them around because i want to disappoint the troop moms because im #too cool for school >(i am 12) >have to do #dorky activities most of the night but they’re not really supervised and for the most part they just let us roam around >bummed because none of the stores were open after close (duh) because i didn’t know how retail worked >there are no opportunities for mischief because again. its just a closed mall with a bunch of pre-teen girls and tired mothers >it is march, for some reason, so i have a basketball championship the next day >get bored pretty early on (like. 11pm. which is early because i am 12 and sooooo cool and grown up) >decide to go to bed >in a sleeping bag >on a mall floor >literally just on the floor. in a mall.  >ew.  >cant sleep because sleeping bag on hard linoleum.  >also cant sleep because the MALL DIDN’T TURN OFF ANY OF THE LIGHTS OR MUSIC >LIKE. THEY PLAYED “ATTENTION SHOPPERS...” ANNOUNCEMENTS ALL NIGHT >get #angery because i am 12.  >complain to my friends about this.  >complain some more. >complain even more and louder about the other girls around us who wouldn’t shut up and go to sleep >throw some dirty looks.  >this is my mean girls moment. dont they know im the regina george here. >(i was not regina george. i was barely fuckin janis ian) >don’t they know i have a very important intermural basketball championship tomorrow.  >get fed up and try to go find whoever the fuck is in charge of this thing >find some exhausted and confused regional girl scout director and ANGRILY demand they shut the lights off >she has to tell a hormonal little freak that she isn’t in charge of the lights or music and no, there is no mall worker there to shut them off.  >#ANGERY >go back to the sleeping bag. on the floor. in the mall.  >rile up the other girls in my area who are now starting to also get tired and annoyed that they can’t sleep >i am the mockingjay. fire is catching. this is my revolution. >there is no revolution. we get reprimanded and told to go to bed.  >catch 3 hours of pathetic sleep.  >in a sleeping bag. >on the floor. >in the mall.  >get woken up at 6am because we have to leave before the adults come back to the mall to spend actual money.  >go home.  >yell at my mother for breathing, probably. >go to basketball game.  >lose basketball championship.  >(we just weren’t that good of a team.)  >wtf was that. 

hey did anybody else who did Girl Scouts as a child do a sleepover at a mall. what was that. it was really weird.

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[thecharlesdilaurentis-blog]

7x18: “Choose or Lose”

*SPOILERS DONT READ IF HAVEN’T WATCHED*

I love emison so much I know alot of the fandom hates them & how Marlene did fuck them up alot but idk my old fan girl heart from S2&3 still can’t help but scream everytime they do something cute :(

So that game board is supposed to be heavy af but somehow it’s still getting moved all over the place QUIETLY BY AN UNKNOWN PERSON?? I ain’t buying it. But whoever did move it HAD to have known that the cops were gonna get a search warrant.

Barry maples got such an attitude ever since he got promoted to detective 🙄

What was aria shredding? Oh wait it was the complaint about ezra being a predator. GIRL WHY U DELETING FACTS?? Scary ass.

Okay who tf is hiding in the dilaurentis house is someone still living in the basement or what?

HAHA DETECTIVE FURY HANDED SHIT OVER BACK TO THE OG DETECTIVE THE BITCH WE ALL LOVE TO HATE LADIES & GENTLEMAN WELCOME BACK MA GURL TANNER!!

Lmao spencer really trying to play dumb like tanner don’t know exactly how to see through her shit

I AM LIVING FOR DETECTIVE TANNER RN “I’m a closer.” Haha I love it.

“I’ve always been sure you & your friends were guilty somehow.. & now I’m gonna find out.” YES GIRL I BEEN WANTING TO FIND OUT THE SAME FOR YRS ITS NOT JUST DUNHILL I KNOW THEY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH ‘THAT NIGHT’ (sorry for the all caps I was excited af through her whole scene..)

Ezra: “I’m going to get to the bottom of this”  ok boy like you haven’t been at the bottom of it don’t lie.

ADs burner phone just happens to be in the brew of course.

“Wear the uniform” I’m just a lil confused b/c didn’t Amoji or whoever was avenging charlotte throw all those uniforms away? So are these two different people? I hate this show.

Okay so is it just a coincidence that mona’s talking through a microphone in an A liar at the time aria’s talking to AD?

Ashley Marin is looking stunning as always but of course is freaking out about hannas well being, lol she’s never trusted her.

Why tf is the door open when they’re talking about murder…. these putas never learn

Loving everyone’s snark AD really is succeeding at tearing them apart

YASS & HERES MONA WITH THE TRUTH BOMBS! ok so now I think that only the last AD burner phone was from Mona b/c she wanted to really find out if Aria was A team she is so smart I love her

How does Mona know about the spencer/Mary recording fiasco anyways??

Oh nvm it wasn’t Mona she just listened in wow I gave Marlene to much credit haha nothing new

Ooooooooooooooooooooooo tanner is getting close af this really is endgAme!

Did Toby just ask spencer to run away with him?? Ok now those theories about him killing Yvonne actually sound true…

The girls confronting aria YES

Arias reason was stupid af & I am living for emily going off on her & Ali calling her out for choosing Ezra over them

“You can find your own ride” LMAO IM DONE

How emily gonna say what other evidence & then spencer say we get it there’s evidence? Lol what do you mean y'all just asked

“Wait for it” did that not just send anyone major Ali/Ali twin vibes???

Damn I am loving spencer being called out emily should’ve called her out one more time & been like “what do u need to do huh???”

It’s funny how the first person Ashley suspects is Alison & even saying how she’s always at the bottom of everything?? Also Caleb ends up telling her the 'truth’ & that it’s something they need to get familiar w/ saying but I bet he didn’t even tell Ashley Hanna was the one who killed him he blamed it on Alison. Is this hinting towards Ali being more involved or an Ali twin??

I bet Ezra’s the one who got aria the alibi LMAO EZRA KNEW THE WHOLE TIME HAHAHAHA SHE FUCKED HER FRIENDS FOR NOTHING

Lmao the Haleb wedding is so haleb

It was pretty romantic to see all the ships together even though they all annoy me at times, but the spoby scene gave me weird vibes & then the fact that it’s 3:15am & all the girls meet & Spencer’s wearing a completely different outfit than when she was with Toby?? Spenceritta???

So Aria won the game & gets to go free? Marlene said by this episode we’d know who AD is w/ the clues but honestly I’m just even more confused

Mona lives a block away? Wtf it’s too easy for her to be AD it can’t be her.

Lmaoooo AD put dunhill in her trunk I knew it was too good to be true

WTF MONA HAS THE FUCKING GAME IS SHE SERIOUSLY AD

OK GUYS I AM REALLY SHOOK BY THIS EPISODE NOT GONNA LIE AND CONFUSED. It was a really good episode probs one of the best of 7B but idk if I can really believe that monas AD?????? Like this has to be a red herring if not I think I’ll be a little upset. Maybe. Right now after this episode my top suspects are: Spencer/Ali Twin as bethany young or unknown name (Shit maybe they both got a twin lmao who knows) & I mean I guess mona shit. But idk I think maybe she was just delivered the game. Im doing a rewatch of 7A to see who I forsure am laying my money on lol.

Anyways!! 

I give this weeks episode a 8/10 I think Marlene & co. really stepped up this week & i’m not gonna lie I’m excited for the last 2 episodes!!

Send me any last minute theories, questions, or just to talk about the show! It’s the last couple weeks & I wanna enjoy this fandom while I still can :)

It’s been a pleasure reading everyone’s theories!

[golly-that-beat-is-dandy]

44, 59, 88, 186, 200, 204, 212? Back at ya with the q's!

44: Whats your ideal career? dude tbh i dont exactly know how to answer this. like the job i really want to go into is therapy, but my ideal career? i dont know. like therapy is something im really interested, but like i also really really love art and singing. maybe a job in voice acting would be cool?

59: 5 weird things you like: 1 dill pickles and canned peaches together, its really good lmao. 2 smoked cheese, my friends say it tastes like an ashtray, and theyre kinda right, but i like it. 3 soap flavoured gum, i found it at my local dollar store and its really gross but i like chewing it to freak people out. 4 trying to pick weird things up with chopsticks, i like the challenge. 5 pretending to throw things across the room and seeing if my cats will go investigate what i threw.

88: Which mythological creature are you most like? Surprisingly, i dont know much of mythological creatures off hand, so im gonna go wiht mermaid. i really love the water, im a super strong swimmer, im really vain, and i love collecting things. going towards the more siren-y side of things, i kinda like being an asshole. not in a way thats super mean to people, but like sometimes ill like hide my friend’s phone or knock something off a table for fun. i also like scaring people lmao

186: Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past: Theres a song but a guy named Drew Monson (i dont know if youve seen the youtube video titled “i was threatened”, its hilarious and also by him) called Stupid Now. I first heard it when i just started talking to my beautiful girlfriend Katelyn (url: jankyjankster) about 4 or 5 years ago. Listening to the song over a few years really helped me realize i was in love with her, and the other day i sung it for her. she liked it lmao

200: You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy? Ok i know it would be super super inconvenient but i really love war hammers, its always my weapon of choice for anything. and id probably not say much tbh, or id be an asshole and make a joke about it, cause thats my favourite way to piss people off if theyre being mean to me

204: Halloween costume idea? INIGO MONTOYA!! ooooooorrrr theres this really cool game called Shardlight and one of the main villains Tiberius would be a really cool costume. Lots of money for all the things id need tho, and id have to hand paint the mask, but it would be so worth it if it turned out

212: Why you follow me (herenye35): Im not gonna lie pal, i originally followed you for that giveaway you did (btw thank you again for all the stuff you sent!!!) but im so happy that we’ve became friends since then!! youre a super cool pal and your blog is amazing as well!!

thanks for the questions!!!!!!

[survivorinternational]

Episode 8 - "You got outwitted and outplayed, and soon... you will be outlasted." - Michael

HAHAHAHAHA omg I didn't get voted out and I still have an idol this is awesome! And good on everyone for breaking up that 4 I'm kinda glad Randy is gone but I'm glad I didn't have to be the one to do it. 

Things went odd last round, i think any trust i had in the undersog alliance is gone and vice versa, i think they were playing me and i surprised them with immunity. At least that showed Allan where he stood with them. Now I’m back to putting it all in with the ala mai alliance. To emily, liana, allan, and vilma though, I want them to think of my as a possible flipper. Good god Im a messy player.

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https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V-RSwer7lduEhNN176RfuaIrZZEzyqpe/view?usp=drivesdk

That tribal was a fucking mess. No-one was willing to throw out names until the last min which lead to the most stressful, panicked scramble I've ever seen. Originally there was a chance that there were enough votes for Randy. Emily seemed very hesitant to on her OG tribe and Allan wanted to vote elsewhere. About 3 hours before Tribal, Allan suggested the numbers would be there to take out Liana, and after some discussion, the vote seemed to switch onto her. Then, as if noticing he was safe, Randy pushed for a vote onto Jacob. This immediately got everyones back up and caused all the votes to go back onto Randy. It was his own fault he got voted out and frankly... I am glad. The reaction from both Randy and Clash is comical and sad at the same time. Randy seemed to take the vote far to personally and the way he acted after is not in the spirit of the game (calling people ugly and dumb cunts in PMs) Clash saying "no-one told him about a Randy vote" and that everyone lied to him... Im sorry, but this is a game that involved Outwitting... you got Outwitted and outplayed and soon... you will be outlasted. And don't pull that "everyone lied to me" bullshit... You lied to everyone else as well... you even said to me that you "spoken to Jacob to much to vote for him" what happened there huh? All in all, With that tribal out of the way, it seems like we now have a few alliances. The OG Ala Mai (Jacob, Tyler, Stephen and myself), The Trust Cricle (Vilma, Emily and myself), the outsiders (Clash, Pat and Liana) and Allan finding his way. If I can get Allan on board, we should be able to flush out one or 2 idols next vote while still taking out an outsider. GAME ON MOLES!!! 

i bid all my money on one item and it ended up being nothing i guess that’s what i get 

Final 10 baby. I've been trying to lay low, talk to people and make a minimal presence, but after the Randy vote, and ironically having the most votes out of anyone this season, it's been hard. At this point I've managed to wriggle my way into a position that almost anyone can come talk to me, hopefully I can do some more talking to the likes of Patrick, Allan and Liana. I don't want them to potentially be on the jury thinking that I don't want to talk to them at all.

----------

Received votes at 3/3 tribals, and if Liana's group targets me again, and flips Emily/Vilma, I'll be a goner. I tested the waters with Michael, Clash and Stephen about voting Emily, Michael wasn't down so I pulled back instantly, I'm now hoping that that didn't make a lasting impression and I can get the vote onto Patrick again. If I can get Clash to use his extra vote on Patrick, and get in touch with Vilma/Emily/Allan, I may be safe.

-_- that is all

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So things are weird atm. Jacob and co want to vote out Pat, and think Clash is on board with that. Clash is telling me he is lying, and that he is really trying to get me Liana Pat Allan Himself and his extra vote to vote out Emily. Soooo Idk what to do. On one hand Emily is a strong player, on the other hand Clash is A Mess(tm). However Clash thinks we’re tight. It boils down to who i want to piss off, Emily and co. who arent really working with me, and by extension the rest of og ala mai. Or, Clash and co. who are a little less together, but maybe thats better in the long run? 

so apparently jacob has doubted my loyalty and is coming for me. fat fucking chance you arrogant moron. i saved you the past two round and now i’m going to be the reason you go home! like literally! do not fucking cross me it will not be pretty! :) he has made me mad beyond belief so a blindside WILL be coming honey. it will be.

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not little miss emily heading a big blindside against jacob and the ala mai boys? yee freaking haw! i think this will literally work. we should have like six or seven votes on jacob if my plan works out how i want it to :)

Hi, yay randy went home he wasn’t my favourite. Now pats the target and we’re having a hoot of a time

What is even happening. I cant keep up with this game and I'm so frustrated with being played by everyone all the time.

I feel bad I didn't have time to explain the last round properly, but all I'm gonna say is it was quite messy and I changed my mind a couple times. Ultimately Em got put off by Randy's unwillingness to vote Liana and he threw my name out so we felt more comfortable voting him out instead of Liana. Moving on to this round: I'm p sure the og Ala Mai bois have an alliance I just hope Michael doesn't leak everything to them I'm trying to be as open as possible with both Emily and Michael so they would trust me 100% I need to be able to trust at least some people's word here Jacob has lowkey been dictating the merge votes so far Seems like he is kinda dictating this one too I think last round going his way gave him confidence to throw names out I'll let him do that in hopes of keeping away from the spotlight But since we're voting out people he's the least connected with, I have to try and remember what would be the ideal moves from my perspective I think getting rid of one of the people who voted in minority is a solid idea for this round Because if we got rid of someone else they would have a solid group of three for next and that's kinda dangerous (and the suspicion of Clash having an idol on top, yikes) But after next vote it might be time to get rid of one of the Ala Mai bois I feel I've done an okay job seeming quite unthreatening lately I don't see why I should get targeted over some more dangerous players My biggest fear is Clash idoling me out because he holds grudges I'm fine staying in the background for now, it's only f10, bigger plays will come in picture later Although it'll be difficult for me to make any with zero advantages in my pocket That's my biggest concern Other people will be able to claim moves as their own because they have advantages they can use And I'm just relying on people using them to help my position And not against me I'm kinda a potential goat at this point But it's too early to worry about that Just trying to keep my name away from people's mouths So I had a good convo with Emily and she really doesn't want to vote against Patrick which I don't blame her for. I personally wouldn't mind one of Clash/Pat going home especially with the possibility of flushing an idol in the process. But on the other hand Jacob has been on a power trip lately and was trying to turn people against Emily earlier. Everyone kinda knows Emily and I are close so it would be an indirect stab at me as well. I'm not a big fan of that kind of thinking. He even made a chat with Emily and I without asking either of us if we wanted to be in one haha that was funny. I think he definitely has a chat with the Ala Mai bois and made the chat with Emily and I in hopes of being able to guide our votes through that one as well. It's not a great look for him, I must say. So Emily and I were toying with the possibility of siding with Patrick/Liana/Allan/possibly Clash and voting Jacob out instead. I'm not exactly sure if it'll happen since people are having trouble responding to me, that makes me think they already have a plan in fruition that I'm not aware of. Or they just trust people will vote Em with them, not sure? Also Clash and Jacob have gotten closer recently, I'm scared Clash wouldn't want to vote Jacob out but I'm not sure. But as far as I know I'm probably voting either Clash/Patrick or Jacob tonight. Let's see how things develop from here. I'm kinda ready to go home though tbh, this game is starting to stress me out. I'm up for a Vilma blindside. 

Once again... This scramble is a mess What should be an easy vote on Pat or Clash has now evolved to people wanting to make moves and others trying to react. Jacob asked me last night to put forward my vote towards Emily which I find extremely strange after she helped save him the last two TCs. I explained that if we vote out Em this TC, Vilma and Allan would turn and Ala Mai will become the target. Emily and Vilma decided that they dont like Jacob talking about this vote and are now trying to rally numbers against Jacob And to top it all off, Clash may have an Idol... ARGH!!!! In my mind, this vote should have been a 4 Pat, 3 Clash and 3 ??? Vote with my using my vote blocker... but now things are everywhere. Hopefully i've done enough to keep my name out of talks 

I want this to be known that IF I go home I knew I couldn’t trust allan and that he or Stephen was leaking everything to Emily and she knew. If there are no Jacob votes I will be impressed but also impissed, and I’ll be mad because that will likely mean I’m going home. I really think they was me out. Little ol me. Super unfair. But I guess we’ll see. And tbh clash is hinesty bae. He’s been super great to work with I like him a lot 

So last round was a mess and I think this one will be too. Let's go back to last TC. Basically Randy was being rude af towards me because I told him I wanted to vote Michael out and because I knew there was a group of people already voting Randy out I decided to take him out too. I honestly feel like I was deciding vote and that move will either make or break my game imo. Now, at the auction, I won the ability to exile myself for 24 hours and miss TC. I was really tempted to use it this round but I figured it would make me an extremely easy vote when I came back because there had already been tension. So I'm holding off until at least next round to use it and the plan right now is to blindside emily using Clash's extra vote. I really hope the plan works but even if it backfires, I think I can take a backseat and let all the drama unfold in front of me. 

i could very much be going home this round BUTTTTTT i am optimistic that it will be JACOB going home instead of me or clash. tldr: jacob wanted to flush an idol of clash’s, that clash may or may not have... he kind of insinuated to me he had it but lmao! jacob’s real plan was to vote pat so i decide to go to pat, clash, and liana with this new plan and tell them what’s up. while they were (rightfully so) upset with me from last round, i think they believed me and are on board to vote for jacob will me, vilma, and allan. and michael is aware of this plan but is voting pat to save face (or idk who he’s voting tbh) anyway i think i have successfully planned a blindside against jacob but also i’m playing so freaking hard at this rate i’m playing for fifth place. no one is going to let me get to the end of the game if i keep going so HARD lmao! i need to calm down next round for real omg

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just. a confessional. to say how much i love vilma. i knew we were put in this game together for a reason. i love her

So after Randy going I lost my closest ally but now I am gonna try and get Stephen and Allan back and make them flip on Emily and hopefully Emily goes that will break up Vilma too 

Uhh I don't think voting Jacob is the best move for me But I'm just gonna go with it it's too late to change my mind I'm playing such a weird game I'm playing for 3rd place right now But I just wanna be loyal to Emily and Michael ugh they're so great Last round I didn't feel bad because I was voting for someone who wanted me out anyway But I think Jacob kinda trusts me so I feel bad voting him Plus he is actually really nice But he didn't tell me about the plan to blindside Emily though Even though I guess it was Clash's plan originally I still wish he would've told me I think this flip will backfire on me next round Emily has better ties to the other side I feel so I'm going to be the one struggling more from flipping And we won't even flush any of the idols out I feel sticking with the split would've been much smarter But I don't think Emily would budge, she won't vote Pat this round Oh well It's kinda new to me to be playing this crazy? I won't win but at least I'm trying out something new lol Chaos Vilma... Yay? Nay? Also a bit paranoid someone has told Jacob what's up and they're coming up with a counteractive plan as we speak but. Tbh I'm tired and I just want to sleep. If I get fucked I get fucked and that's okay. I love Emily. 

More worried than ever this tribal, I'm pretty much guaranteed to never catch a break with votes, still not sure why. I'm also going against Clash here which I hate to do, but I'd rather hurt Clash, than hurt all of ala mai.

[matthew-eleventhirty]

so i havent written in a while, maybe thats because what i found out was my worst nightmare. two years, almost two years. i was happy, you were happy i think. but when things started to go crazy you werent happy anymore. i wanna vomit thinking about what our lives used to be, what they used to feel like they were heading towards. but a month out of that, youre with a new girl. im so conflicted- to feel sad or to tell you to fuck off. this is one of the hardest things i had to do and everyone is treating me like im some fragile doll. i hate it, but i also just want someone to wake me up and tell me this was all a dream. yea you were really shitty during some times and i let a loooot slide, but it was all because i loved you. im sorry my friends wrang you out to dry, i didnt tell them to but i was really really appreciative that they did. the second they saw shit was going everywhere. it only makes sense for you to have been cheating on me. i mean, less than three weeks to find a girl, ask her to date you, go to the tree, then post it? you dont post pics with tinder dates...? so who is she? why didnt you tell me? why couldnt you just have been honest. that you wanted something different, that another girl caught your eye. its better to rip the bandaid off with me. but no i sat around freaking out trying my absolute hardest to give you what you wanted. i was nothing but amazing to you, patient with you, caring for you, trying to help you, trying to help you to help us. maybe youll never realize that and think im too pushy. but the words you used, the way you kissed me after. i it doesnt make sense. it doesnt add up. how could you do that to someone you loved, let alone a person. but you know what, everyones right you are a loser and a coward. but lets touch on another point. the means for breaking us up were: 1. no one knows me at school, i want to be more known 2. i just have so much to figure out, i need to be alone to do this 3. if you really love something let it go, if it loves you back itll come back. now mr. i think im going to law school please lets go over this. you 1. have a new girl who lives two towns over and from the looks of it doesnt go to st johns so thats gonna be even more difficult to get your name out there huh 2. YOU HAVE A NEW GIRL SO I GUESS THERE WASNT THAT MUCH TO FIGURE OUT and lastly my favorite 3. that is the cruelest thing you can do to someone- to give them hope when you know there is no reason to. your moms was right, youre not worth crying over. but hey guess all of them are going to be compared to me haha i love it. you played me bill there i said it you fucking played me but dont think for one moment that girl will stop you from freaking out or getting too aggressive dont think that she will have the patience for you when you cant come over or that plans are canceled or that your schedule is so busy dont think that she will care for you the same way i did by trying to help you unload some of that baggage. dont think youll ever have the same relationship with anyone after me. im special, im the whole fucking package and i come with a fucking bow. you missed out, but maybe giving you a chance to miss out was the worst thing i couldve done. you made me feel bad when you had to work extra shift to pay for some wimpy ass birthday gift. they were never wrapped and never as special as i wanted to feel. the only good gift was the ring. but i guess even thats a joke now. you really did a 180. i dont know who this guy is, hes not the person i dated. you were sweeter when you were broke. you were nicer without that fucking car. you were a better boyfriend when you didnt try looking like any other washed up teen spending their parents money to buy the next nicest thing so they post a pic to twitter just to get like 10 likes. you were a much better person and i dont think it was the depression, i think its because youre not able to be your own person. you need to follow trends (and yes by being the first in line to get some weird blue floral print shorts is you following a trend) you needed to have the nicest car but that car isnt even paid for by you. that insurance on those things are so high. your poor parents. i cant believe you really need the nastiest human being on the world just to look like a dumb ass faker. you ugly fuck. i hope she realizes what a fucking prick you are. i cant believe you changed. you were a sweet boy but i was right on the 4th and i was still right in newport and i was right when i told you after we broke up. everything needs to be your way or no way. you needed to play a stupid game with too many rules to show my family you drink we dont care i wanted to spend time with my friend. you really couldnt have let me walk through the stores because you wanted to buy an ugly ass sweatshirt. youre mom called you out on it. you couldnt talk to me when i desperately needed to when i felt like nothing but a shell and would cry myself to sleep and throw up because i cant keep anything down not even coffee. but dont worry because i came out stronger and i will continue to be better because one thing i hope you picked up about me is that i need to be the best, the very top, the prime example for fun and brains. i need to be that. so i will be that, and you will be so far behind it would take you decades to get to where i wouldve been in two years. i hope you realize you are a fucking idiot. and i hope one day i can learn a thing or two from you imbeciles. because im gonna have the best time ever and enjoy being single and enjoy my achievements while you bury yourself in debt. hope you marry rich because at the pace youre going, you wont have a great paying job until your 50s. and the debt youll have no thankyou. i understand college is a rollercoaster and its frustrating to try to find your path but dude, a lawyer... during the third year of your four year scholarship? idiot, might as well just buy a bunch of shit on your credit card and hope it goes away. my next thing to look for is stability, if the people who i am talking to mention a job and aspirations and a plan as to how to work things out and talks about how he knows what he enjoys and has a good relationship with his parents and knows what he needs to do and when to do it. i need a man. i need someone who can and will pick me up just to swing me around his shoulder. i need a man. i need someone who will make me stronger and wiser. i need someone who will want to see me grow and not expect for me to help them get through non- challenging things like organization. you having depression is different. thats when you could expect me to help you. but dear lord, give me the strength to get through this and lord please give me the knowledge to recognize these things fast and to confront them and to know to stand down. lord give me the patience to succeed and to help me heal properly, lord give me the guidance to come out better than ever. life is tricky and its only just begun. i might hold on to this. 

[therealestatesparkblog]

5 Tips for Tackling Your Life With a Warrior Spirit

This weekend a dear friend of mine warrior, UFC fighter James Krause will be throwing down in Lincoln, Nebraska. I have come to know James well, not only as a professional athlete, but through the MMA gym he owns and often coaches at. James is also a visionary when it comes to business and his budding real estate investing empire. For two years I have been training with my personal coach Trey, James, and the many other amateurs and professional fighters in the gym. Ive come to learn some real ground and striking skills. Ive met amazing, talented athletes to train with. And realized there is quite the different between watching it on TV and thinking you understand and being in the midst of a sparring session. Training is Not For the Light-Hearted, or Easily Deterred There are very real, immediate, and potentially severe consequences from training. Ive broken toes from kicking someones knee at full speed. There were times I had massive bruises and difficulty walking for multiple days from being repeatedly kicked in the thigh and the side hard. Idislocated my jaw when I was choked across my chin. After all, the point of training is to get good at kicking, punching, kneeing, and choking another human being. I believe the factors and effort it takes to become great at martial arts shares principals that directly relate to real estate. Lets explore connecting mixed martial arts, professional fighters, the mastery of something, and how it intersects with real estate. Principal 1. Understand the Game Ever been to a sporting event and you didnt know the rules of the game? For me, watching rugby is like watching a bunch of men in funny suits who dont know how to play football throwing a misshaped football. I DONT KNOW THE RULES! (Sorry, rugby fans!) In MMA, there are a specific set of basics on how to throw a punch, how to throw, how to defend yourself from kicks, or get out of a particular submission. Ways to put together combinations in striking, or setup take downs. There are also specific rules you must follow as a fighter both standing, in transition, and on the ground. These rules have to be followed or you can lose points or even be disqualified in a fight. Just like in real estate, when pressure is applied to a live situation, you will go to your default. To what you have trained or done the most of. The fighter must train in real time, with real pressure. Without repeated effort and focus, in a live situation, with adrenaline and a real opponent in front of you, your default will be panic instead of a sound defense or counter. In real estate, if you want to accomplish buying rentals or flipping a property, you have to understand the game. What are the legal rules of putting this contract together? How does it work buying from a wholesaler or an auction at the court house steps? There are real, serious, consequences to not understanding the game. Talking about a punch in the gut I can tell you, it hurts (both physically and mentally). Not knowing the game in real estate can cost you money, headaches, a lawsuit. It can financially ruin someone who hasnt understood the rules and hasnt done their home work. Related:Why the Small, Seemingly Insignificant Actions You Perform Daily Are VITAL to Your Success Principal 2. Show up and Put In the Work From what I understand the average black belt in jui-jitsu has been working steadily at the craft for 10, 12, 15+ years. Sure, there are people who have a high aptitude or have worked extraordinarily hard to accomplish this sooner. But it still take many years. If you have never trained, it may be hard to understand. But let me try to paint the picture for you: As a white belt (which I am), most of my time in class is spent learning skills and then defending myself, trying not to get arm locked or choked out. This takes patience. And a willingness to be uncomfortable. At first, with someone smothering you with their weight, or an elbow in your midsection, you FREAK. You cant breathe. Its hard to understand what is happening without understanding the basic concepts of offensive and defensive positions. Over time, you start to develop some skills. More defense. Higher stamina. You can control your breathing. You start to use techniques instead of trying to muscle out of a problem (which doesnt usually work). These skills are practiced, honed, worked, thousands and thousands of times until they can be executed without conscience effort. As you gain these skills, it becomes second nature to understand the situation and take action armed with the necessary tools, talents, and techniques. The professionals in our gym are there every day often multiple times a day. Their skills and abilities arent luck. They are the product of their time, effort and practice, of their craft. Sound familiar? Real estate is no different. You have to put the work in, learn how construction works and the details within it. You need to know how to put a rental deal together and understand a secondary note. Buying SFRs versus apartments. As you learn skills, moreskills and details appear that you didnt know existed. Not less. These skills become the backbone of your real estate game. Just like your martial arts game. Its the pieces that put together the whole. Principal 3. Know and Work on Your Strengths, and Understand and Defend Your Weaknesses As an MMA fan, I have seen incredible fights over the years in the UFC and beyond. To a new viewer, it may seem that there are two people trying to beat the crap out of each other. Although this does happen, there are SO many aspects to the game beyond just being in a boxing type brawl, two people just trying to hurt each other. One opponent might be a great wrestler even a college, world, or olympic champion. Some are incredible jiu-jitsu players with tricky submissions and ground game. Others are tactical strikers, kick boxers, Muay Thai champions, and some are just freak athletes, cardio and stamina with an engine to outlast a storm and keep fighting. There is also a real mental game both internally and outwardly toward your opponent. The more well rounded you are as an athlete in each of these areas, the better your overall MMA game will be and the more easily youll be able to transition between skills and observe and understand the opponent in front of you. You can more easily recognize both problems and opportunities within the fight.

When other fighters and coaches break down a future opponent, they look for patterns. For weakness, like emotional strain after getting hit or taken down. Where are the holes in their game? What is the best way to get after this opponent? For some, it may be a lack of skill in wrestling, so you would practice setting up take downs with striking. Or maybe someone always likes to counter with a certain punch, so you practice over and over feinting a certain strike to set the conditions you can get your opponent to react to, and you use that opportunity to your advantage. In a real estate negotiation, do you unknowingly show your cards? Or choke in a negotiation when you were about to get the numbers you wanted but you didnt read the other parties cues? Have you practiced over and over how to pitch a sale or a purchase? Reviewed your personality and worked on the areas of your business that arent strong? If you are great at building rapport in person, stop trying to close the sale on the phone. Get to the house or meet up with the other party. If you arent very familiar with a particular type of deal, dont try to negotiate it immediately without all the information. Call a friend or mentor who KNOWS and does those types of deals. Work through how to do it. Sometimes its better to pass on an opportunity if you cant understand it rather than say YES and then get into a deal or property you dont understand. Related:From Wholesaling to Hoarder House Flips: 17 MUST-Read Real Estate Investing Success Stories Principal 4. There is No Replacement For the Real Thing When I first started training, my coach Trey and I worked on throwing a few basic punches and kicks. He would call out the numbers, and then I would be expected to throw or kick that punch. At first, we would do single punches or small combinations of just one or two together. We worked constantly on refining the way I threw a punch. The way my body or head moved as I threw a right hand, or a left. I distinctly remember him saying, Soon Ill throw out five or 10 different things together and you will just do it. At the time, more than a few combinations would literally break me mentally, and Id have to slow down or have him repeat these many times over. It was exhausting. But over time, it became second nature to throw or punch. Trey could help me refine a punch while working on multiple other things at the same time. There is NO replacement for putting in the work, for doing the reps. At this point, I am reasonably effective sparring against some of the amateurs in our gym. Its a constant process of refinement, practice, and DOING the work. You cant replicate the speed and timing of sparring in a live situation. Thats why we practice reps, scenarios, and combinations, over and over. In my business, Ive completed hundreds of real estate transactions over more than a decade and negotiated tens of million of dollars of real estate deals. Im well compensated coaching other real estate investors who want to grow as leaders and operators in the single-family space. BUT, to this day I still study, grow, learn new tactics, timing, realizations, breakthroughs, and opportunities in every transaction. The learning is constant and comes with time and experience. AND, with continuous work on your craft. You have to operate at real speed. In real deals. With real money and opportunity at stake. Principal 5. Have a Killer Team in Your Corner This weekend, James will have an incredible group of people around him. They are there not only to get him safely through his weight cut, but to make sure he is hydrated and his nutrition is on point. Theyll help him keep his head in the game and not go stir crazy. They will train with him and keep him sharp without getting him injured prior to the fight. When it comes time for the fight, the corner will call out things they see in real time. Like what the opponent is doing, what combinations to throw, how to get out of a nasty spot against the cage, and opportunities he may not see in the moment. Youre corner literally has your back in the midst of a fist fight. Having this level of trust and confidence in your corner isnt just a given. Its learned and earned. It comes over time. And with experience and practice. Does what they tell you makes sense? Do you understand it? And can you can effectively do it in the moment? It has to work together seamlessly. This has so many direct similarities to real estate. Not sure on the value of that project? You call a realtor you trust. Or if the title is clean, you go to your title company to do the research. In my business, my partner is so much better at the tracking of money and figuring out follow up systems. If Im not sure what to do in a situation, or how to implement an idea, I go to him. My team in our construction, sales, and acquisitions. My business partner. Close mentors and friends in the real estate world Ive built relationships with over time. Our title companies, contractors, attorneys, inspectors, and appraisers, that weve worked with time after time. This is MY real estate CORNER. Final Thoughts First, Get some, James! Lets go! You inspire me on the level of training, dedication, mastery, skill, and success in your sport. Im in your corner, and Ill be screaming and yelling for your success this weekend. Second, if youve made it this far, dear readyWHO do you have in YOUR corner? Where are the gaps? What are you missing in your life, your business, your MMA game? Do y0u need more or different people in your corner? Are you cutting corners in your success? Or are you putting in the work? And do you have the team around you helping you get better, who has your back, but who also can call out what they see even if its about YOU? Its time to take action with the warrior spirit. Apply that level of effort, level of tactics, emotion, and repetitions, and get after it.

What tips do you have for getting after your goals? Share them in the comments below! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/tackling-life-warrior-spirit

[thegeminisage]

time for MORE ZELDABLOGGING hell yeah today’s stream of consciousness:

i’ve decided that i wanna go south bc like im never gonna catch up with my brother and im Not in the mood to do heat-resistence stuff so i might as well see a thing he hasn’t, right?!

if i get too bored i can always turn around and go north!!

furthermore he’s getting closer to hyrule castle and i dont wanna lol

fast traveled to the dueling peaks and found the tower already

ooh and lake hylia is south as well! tho ofc im doing the southeast one first

and i’ll probably get tired of storyless exploring before i get out that far hahaha

wow the tower is close to the border, i can see the lake hylia province from here

there’s an Immense palm tree lookin jungle and i think i see a giant armos?

but the mountains divide it pretty neatly so it looks to be an easy walk assuming those guardian statues don’t move

ah. of course they move.

at least they can’t get up and walk around :|

too bad you can’t play around in the menu while you wait out rain. i’d rewatch m memories and shit

i climbed this one red looking cliff and the sky went green and the weather changed to all cloudy forever so im probably about to die

and just like that, glided to the tower. easy peasy

ah, the faron province!! cooool

ah wow!! it’s bigger than i realized *w*

watching a lightning storm from one of these towers is fucking terrifying

that lightning does Not fuck around

the maddening thing about this game is seeing so much cool shit in the distance and you can’t check it out yet, or it would be such hard work

i see some glowy shit and a giant pink tree and i wanna explore everything but also it’s so Much

it’s kind of creepy out here :/ maybe i want to go do story after all lol

im ging back to the shrine you hang glide off of so i can start from  somewhere familiar >_>

idk why im so cautious playing this game. like. its a game. its not like it can hurt me

im having trauma flashbacks looking at eventide island

wait is this a

i hear town music!!! omg omg

PEOPLE ;_;

ohhhh my gosh what a beautiful peaceful beachside town

reminds me of bodhum/new bodhum and bits and piece of ff11, which i say with the greatest reluctance

i love everyone in this village just bc they are here

oh god it’s so beautiful i love beaches so much i want to live here

oh my gosh there’s a gerudo here!!!!!! OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE MM TALK TO ME

she’s asleep in the inn lol

oh hey the painter dude is here too

some of these hylian npcs are poc which is so do cool and overdue

ooh a chest game

i lost lmao

OH MY GOD

the gerudo lady is awake and she is. so tall oh my god

im gay

i am Gay

I Am Gay

oh, man. oh man

are they all  so beautiful. so Strong. good god

i wish this village was bigger i could have happily stayed here for hours

omg

someone a long time ago was standing on a mountain that looked like a broken heart and was like, is this not the place to find your soulmate…? but i haven’t found mine yet

someone mentioned a similar legend here and on the map i see a mountain with a whole heart on it pfffft

im so sick of seeing these stone cirlces everywhere…i can’t blow them up..what do you DO with them? complete the pattern maybe??

oh my god it worked

i’ve passed by so many…how will i ever get all these seeds……..

i know the game wants me to sail here but i hate sailing, it’s tedious, i want to control my boat with the fucking control stick

holy fuck dude the sword im using is so strong?? it cut down a palm in a single swipe!!

the longer i play the more i hate the blood moon

oh no i found a hinox

i was going to avoid him but he has an orb….

idk where it goes tho so there’s no point there’s no point the blood moon will bring him back okay Okay

hes a red one anyway so no big, when the time comes

oh my god ANOTHER hinox with an orb

i bet they go to the twin shrines near the village

but i’m supposed to find a tablet before i do that…….i don’t wanna skip another quest like the zora helm also thats a Long walk jesus christ

NNNONONONO GOD

GUARDIAN THAT CAN WALK OVER THERE NO FUCKING THANKS SO GLAD IT DIDN’T SEE ME

so fucking glad

exploring is so dangerous Why

why do i suck SO much at combat

oooh a bokoblin camp with a black mobiln :/ Yikes

aaand bomb arrows takes care of THAT

i love seeing farosh flying around here but i can NEVER CATCH HIM

i was just a few minutes too late to getting him at a really good spot

but the dragons seem to take the same route over 24h, so there’s that

oh hey im back at green cloud plateau

okay Um am i crazy or did i just hear something roar? was that the wind??

oh god i see a question mark from here something already knows im close

oh ogd oh god why i bet it’s big and awful

IT’S A LYNEL LOL

i dont have any healing or defense stuff no way

oh no i think there’s a shrine up there where he is ): but i can’t get it

AND A HINOX RIGHT NEXT TO HIM? NO THANKS LOL

jesus i knew i’d die here

at least there’s no orb on this one

oh noooo more lightning god the storms here are brutal

omg i found shelter behind a waterfall and there’s the shrine i was sensing!! yes!!!!!

holy fuck im not safe here either i nearly just got fried

in the shrine we go holy shit

may the weather be better when i get out

damn i keep finding ore today… #blessed

I SAW FAROSH AGAIN HE WAS SO CLOSE BUT I WAS STILL TOO SLOW…okay they DEFINITELY take the same route everyday i think

or at least if not at the same time, the same places

ugh i went over to this one place and the weather turned to all lightning forever

KASS? HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU’RE GONNA GET FRIED

im so glad to see him ;_; it’s creepy out here

uh…i think…i have to get struck by lightning…on this hill…oh my god i’ll die???

maybe my lightning rod will work……? please��………..?

aaaaand it did nothing. great. ok

/saves game

……../dons metal armor weapons and shield

LMAO IT WORKED HOLY SHIT

oh my god im alive!!!! i had mipha’s grace just in case but i took an electric elixir

jesus FUCK

yes nice i didnt even have to do anything just get the…chest…….

B R O

i got rubber tights!!! electric resistance!!!!! NICE

ah and when i came out the storm was over :3

but kass is gone ): i wanted to tell him i figured out his song!!!

i knew i should have talked to him before i went in :/

lol i find a boat after playing in the water for 100 years…..not that i wouldve used it, but

aw i met and saved a traveling couple, i’ve saved them before

oh my gosh a STABLE!! all the way out here!!!!

THERE ARE PEOPLE

man i wondered what that couple was doing out in such a remote place

oh wow beedle gave me a single ancient arrow…apparently it deals huge damage even to guardians

maybe this is what the start screen meant by the right tools!!!!

but there’s only one…

robbie from akkala gave it to him…NICE i’ll remember

ah some guy here said there was something glowing at the top of floria waterfall…i gotta check that out

ooh a shrine back here too…nice

god there’s a chest in here that’s REALLY hard to get bc camera angles but it has an ancient core (looked it up) and i need one to upgrade my runes………smh

man…nah. im out. there will be other cores & this is crazy ridiculous

its just the stasis rune anyway and i use that one the least

five big hearty radishes means TWENTY FIVE EXTRA HEARTS

but you can only have a max of 30 lol so

AAAH HERE COMES FAROSH AND IM FINALLY AHEAD OF WHERE HE’LL BE OH MY GOD

I HIT HIM I HIT HIM

I FINALLY GOT A SCALE

almost died for it but. i got it. he throws electricity involuntarily and it’s major stuff i shoulda worn my rubber gear

i kinda wanna wait and see if i can get another……..but i have shit to do

holy shit farosh came back around & i got another scale…wish i could hit his horn

AAAH NO A GIANT STONE THING IS HERE….i have no idea how to fight them im leaving

well idk if the stone thing or the dragon or the shrine was what was supposed to be glowing up here but i don’t see anything new

im almost done exploring this province, actually

gotta walk along one beach and climb the heart mountain and that’s it!

a little tempted to grab my horse since it’s such an easy direct road, but i’d be getting on and off all the time ):

fml there’s a guardian on this beach…pls dont move pls dont pls dont

oh thank god its stuck in the sand

omg there was a chest in the sand but it WASNT A CHEST it was one of those yellow octoroks!!!! but!! i shot it! and got money!!!!!!!! #nice

NOOOO another stone thing!!

but you know the last one took a lot of damage from one accidental bomb so maybe

how do you fight it?? i can’t damage it???

OH OMG THE ORE THING!!! OKAY LET’S DO THIS SHIT let’s go i cooked up so much good food

oh my god i took him down in just a handful of bomb arrows…THATS what ive been running from?

not nearly as scarly as lynel tbh

and i’ve been marking the minibosses on my map so now i can look for jewels there if i ever need to

i found a fuckton in this region but lol i sold them all

i know one great fairy needs 10k rupees and like…..Yikes

im getting pretty good with my bow, i can hit far off targets bc i know how high to aim and shit

i’ve kind of been wondering what happens if you get to the edge of the map

but the wind gets so strong on the beaches i bet you just either run out of stamina if swimming or can’t make the boat get past it if sailing

but what happens if you get to a land edge though…?

i actually dislike getting to edges of maps haha it creeps me out. that disreality unrealization shit. no thanks

in la noire the edges of the map have u-turn streets and you realize the cars are all just on one endless track and no one is in them and no one ever goes home and you start to wonder if this actual universe is a simulation and it freaks you out

anyway.

omfg someone from the yiga clan selling bananas like i actually could have bought some if i wanted LMAO

he actually had me fooled for a moment even though i know what npcs named “traveler” mean

why do they all give me bananas when they die anyway………whats going on with this.

oh my god this dude at the heart shaped pond is in love with this gerudo lady here. and like. same oh my god she’s so Big

but lol you can choose to say “yeah talk to her” or “nope, rival time!”

me: aggressively wants to flirt with the gerudo lady but not in a straight way

pls this cutscene was so cute

but she deserves better than a weirdo like this guy

he like, gave me a twenty, and she fussed at him for being stingy, so then he have me a hundred, and THEN

HE ASKED FOR HIS MONEY BACK LMFAO no way fucknuts

wow and with that im All Done with this province O:

i mean yeah i got quests and shrines to come back and do, but i’ve SEEN everything, yk

maybe now i’ll go up to death mountain haha i feel so slow ): i hope what i saw and did made up for my slow story progress

whoa this weapons guy said he’d remake mipha’s trident if i ever broke it!! what a relief

ah i finally figured out the shrine puzzle by zora’s domain…gotta give that thing a dragon scale. but i like my dragon scales too much so i won’t. maybe later

oh hey the death mountain region tower! that was easy

uhhh what…is that

oh my god a FLYING GUARDIAN are you KIDDING me??? why???????

and they’re everywhere! fantastic!!! my ass is DEAD

oh okay this region is called akkala

at least i get guardian arrows here eventually :|

oh my god ONE SAW ME FUCK

oh my god

I RAN UP TO THE TOWER AND IT’S COVERED IN THE BLIGHT

what is that thing crawling all over death mountain?!

what is happening OH my god!!! so much!! everything!!! all at once!!!!!!!!

wait

that’s the divine beast

oh my god

oh my god.

oh my god it’s so big but even still it looks tiny in comparison to the mountain, oh my god

omg it gets cold up here only at night?? omg

NO there’s a still guardian up here too ;_;

i’m gonna try to kill it!!! good first try it can’t move and there’s cover RIGHT here

second try really but im stronger now

now, i have bomb arrows and lightning rods

ok lightning rod does nothing, bomb arrows dont work in the rain, but i killed it with shock arrows!!

and it wasnt v hard bc i was behind cover the whole time lol

but like, with those arrows - i used maybe 9 or 10? and that was all i used, i threw a couple of bombs at it too i guess

now to figure out how i even get IN here w/ all this gunk…..

fuck a bokoblin near a cooking pot saw me and accidentally set itself on fire lmao

ok i can’t climb past the blight, i tried, but how the fuck do i get rid of it i dont see any eyeballs )))):

……………………….w ait

this bokoblin has a shield with the hylian crest on it. the HYLIAN crest

these ruins have the red carpet with the double line of gold on the side

i’m crying this was someplace special

i don’t know what it was bc it can’t be the temple of time or hyrule castle but it was someplace real i recognize the style of it so faintly and it’s COVERED IN BLIGHT

oh my god………..this is so Much

ah ok a beam fell when i shot the first eyeball and i was like why arent there anymore?? but apparently i can magnesis it

oh wow i found a piece of a room…….totally trashed, jesus christ

must’ve been a lab or library

omg its thundering outside…..that has nothing to do with zelda but it makes this creepier

THERE’S A GUARDIAN AT THE TOP SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

its not alive tho thank christ

jesus fuck the divine beast is SO BIG and the mountain is still SO MUCH BIGGER i feel so tiny every time i look

anyway it’s 5am and there’s lightning so i gotta unplug for many reasons, this is a fine stopping place, can’t wait to get my ass kicked by that thing and rescue a goron, holy fuck