#i dont want to say it on my main art blog. i know someones waiting on it. laughing at every inch of my suffering.

[robotpanties]

i want to say intelligent and in depth things for characters about fetishes sex and more but im very tired and want to learn to draw big pieces again and make original projects

[1eos]

please share some of these bls!! its crazy because i dont even like them but the ones i get from you are so fun. like the best friend who turns into a girl one i made my friend read with me and it was a good time!!

alright this will be my definitive bl rec list as of today september 15th 2024. its a LOT of reccs here so i will separate them into subsets i guess

my faves: (bls i love w all my heart and will recc constantly)

amber paradox/ameiro paradox by natsume isaku. one of my first bl 🥺they're 'straight' coworkers with beef -> decide the other isn't as bad as they first thought -> jealousy when other ppl hit on them -> realizing they have feelings for each other. i can't even say its enemies to lovers done right bc one guy didn't know they were beefing and they stay arguing w/ each other but in a cute way 😭😭😭 VERY tsundere x tsundere

konokoi wa unmeijanai by yamada yugi. this bl saved me. gay boy has a bad break up, moves, and goes to a print house (hes a graphic designer) where he meets a pretty boy who used to be a delinquent thats like 'ohhhhh so you know my friend? you're gay aren't you?' and he doesnt want to get a crush on him but the ex-delinquent is soooo charmingly stupid and crass (i love him too) and they develop a friendship and then more...?

elektel delusion by nekota yonezou. sadly the characters are in high school 😔 but the characters are very very charming. pair of besties that are childhood friends are always together. one is gay, out, and has a crush on the other and the 'straight' one keeps getting dumped by girls bc he prioritizes his bestie. gay boy (he's so scorpio coded) gets a 'boyfriend' to make other bestie jealous and straight gay boy begins to lose his mind and realize some things. this one is a classic...TO ME

konya mo nemurenai (another sleepless night) by yamamoto kotetsuko. a fave of mine. gay boy accidentally summons a demon that will not leave and keeps eating all his food. the demon is a freeloader. the gay boys wants a boyfriend. they learn to coexist and something blossoms <3

liquor & cigarette by zaria ranmaru. the art on this one is sooooooo gorg. love this one. childhood friends. one friend is openly bi and this leads to the other's bicurious moment. bi friend is like finallyyyyyyy you're considering men pleaseeeeeee pick me pleaseee date me i love u so much i've loved u for so long i want you soooo bad. and so they explore sexuality while practicing for a drinking contest in town. and the top explicitly waits for the other to figure out how he feels ouuu its so good

hashi no xl saizu by omoimi. faveeeeeeeeee. all time faveeeee. its simple, cute, no violence, nothing weird. and the plot? a college guy has a dick so big he can't date or have sex and he meets someone at a club event whos like what? no i'll teach you that there's no dick too big for someone's hole. surprisingly wholesome despite that being the lede

FUCK BUDDY BY HINAKO. i love this one. tsundere dark haired main character. bi4bi. and needless drama bc both characters are kinda toxic. tres bien. soooo these two friends are both sluts that do threesomes w women all the time bc what else do u do when u can't admit you want each other? well after one of them gets a dick injury (dont ask) they take the women out of the occasion and things progress from there

kabukichou bad trip by eiji nagisa. i loved this one so much i would suck the author off for another 4 volumes. so theres this guyyyyy he can read minds and he uses it to make bank as a host and he has a crush on a model and randomly meets said model and reads his mind on accident and the model wants to do s&m with him and the mind reader starts considering some things. the art is sooooo good btw like wow

fucked by my best friend by yupopo orishima.........this one was a staple on the blog. two besties who are sluts....are they are. one gets his gender transed by a spurned ex-lover and his friend is like 'oh finally i can fuck u' and he's like WAIT WHAT DID YOU SAY? and they fuck a lot. slut 1 transes his gender back and forth a lot and they keep fucking and gender becomes merely a trifle. an afterthought. so good

ookami-sama no koiwazurai by tobi washio. and i would KILL for a sequel to this one. its a world where some ppl have animal ears/traits and live peacefully w humans. sooo wolf guy gets into accidental beef w a human and wolf guy is like 'i was after your friend first but your autistic boy swag has seduced me....' and starts courting him and the other guy is like 'damn ive never been moved to express my emotions all too much but this sexy wolf man wants me so bad maybe i'm feeling desire for the first time?' its very funny

baby, sugar, succubus by tojo sakana. idk why i love this one so much???? it might be the art style but basically a guy runs a restaurant his dick is just too damn big and then he runs into a boy succubus that's like >.< let me in coach. but the boy succubus is very cute and has no idea how anal works glkagaklgkagkalk. anyways they make an oddly sweet couple

wholesome reads (as the kids say......gives u fluffy feelings):

totsugimasen kara by sunako. ohhhh this one is so wholesome. its omegaverse (sorry) but not in a weird way. basically the omega is sent to the alpha's family's estate to prove that he'd make a good wife and he's like naurrrr not into this. and the alpha is like naurrrrr not into all these ppl in my damn house so they butt heads. but the omega starts to have fun bonding w other omegas and fighting w the alpha and yeah <3 nothing weird is depicted in this one but warning. there is a stalker. and someone is set up to be hurt but nothing happens. just beef havers becoming sorta kinda besties to awkward as hell boyfriends

mad cinderella by yamamoto kotetsuko - comedy. slice of life. poor kid and rich kid grew up together. rich kid had to move away to bum fuck america one day and asked poor kid to promise him marriage and poor kid did thinking it was a joke. rich kid was NOT joking and when he comes back poor kid begins his gay awakening. the main conflict is that rich kid wants to hit BAD and everything keeps getting in the way 😭

wootan to fumi by saida nika. a guy is buff w big tits and an even bigger ass but once a month he grows bunny ears and a tail. so he's basically heaven for all the bunny boy enthusiasts (me) anyways his best friend wants him bad but they keep it casual and then move in together and you know! p wholesome tbh its just that wootan just be bussing out his clothes....too much bawdy

'no i actually read bls for the plot' (bls i reread mainly for the plot....winners of bl pulitzers....to me)

kohitsuji project by takenaka sei - supernatural comedy. human boy flops so bad in school he ends up going to a boarding school for vampires and everyone wants to eat him. nepo baby vampire with no socialization skills becomes infatuated with him and things go from there. just one volume wish there was more tbh

dog style by motoni moduru. a classic in the kendra blverse. this one is retro so the style is super nice and late 90s/early 00s. another highschool setting one :( soooooo punk 1's best friend is the brother of punk 2's best friend so they know of each other. punk 1 is a good fighter and punk 2 is a good runner (and gay). bc theyre both being ditched by the brothers (who they have crushes on) they spend more time together and accept their crushes fucking suck and grow closer. and they fight a lot

escape journey by ogeretsu tanaka. love this artist's style. um. exes run into each other and have to pretend they still don't wanna suck and fuck until they suck and fuck again and it's messy and funny 😭😭😭😭a sorta fave bc i love it when ppl break up and get back together sorryyyyyyyyyy

saiyaku wa boku o suki sugiru by ninomiya etsumi. now this one? is a fucking STORY. so bc of their ancestors fucking around one member of a family after a birthday will have to go thru these disasters. basically the world is trying to kill them but the kicker is any injury they get is TRANSFERRED to the person in another family. so basically they have to work together to both not die. its like 7 volumes long and i got bored of the 'gods' talking in riddles abt the disasters but the two main characters make it worth it

kami-sama no uroko by hinohara meguru. i actually don't remember shit abt this one other than how PRETTY the art is and the cool concept. so a writer returns to his hometown that has a legend abt a dragon that used to fuck abt and then he meets the dragon that looks human but swears he's a dragon. the writer is super skeptic and u know....things happen. theres a dog in this one and i love the way he's drawn 🥺

honto yajuu by yamamoto kotetsuko - comedy. mostly slice of life some drama some smut. the bl goat. the granddaddy of bl. it will be on everyone's list. a young member of the yakuza is so supple so toppable it turns a well meaning cop bisexual 😭 bl so good it makes you forget for just one second that all cops are going to hell

sick by kurahashi tomo. slice of life w a bit of comedy. blonde man has a weird desire to bully his upperclassman and turns out its sexual fascination. despite getting off on a bad foot the two of them learn more about each other and grow to fit together. the upperclassman has 3 siblings and theyre the best part of the manga tbh like seeing how the little sister starts off hating the top for taking her brother to loving him is so 🥺

furimuite tsukamaete by yoriko. i will not kill myself bc i am waiting for the ending of this one. guy has a crush on another guy who's getting married so he's like ok i have to get over this and then crush's younger brother busts in to live w him and cheers him up and that's weird? younger brother keeps getting mad when gay boy mentions the brother????? and younger brother wants to share the one bed???? and cuddle????? hmmmmmm

pretty n fun (just turn your brain off and enjoy how fun the characters are and how pretty the art is):

datte maou-sama wa kare ga kirai by yamada nichoume - UNFINISHED. supernatural...kinda? comedy. demon king and hero reincarnates? kinda. every generation and fight. this generations demon king just wants to fly under the rather but this generations hero wants to fall in love fight and fight using his 🐓the concept is kinda out there but its surprisingly wholesome

love nest by minaduki yuu. another one that's super pretty but i don't remember most of what happens. i do know that this gay guy is sick of the loud ass kids that live above him so his friend hooks him up w a new place but doesnt tell him theres another man living there 😭😭😭😭😭 (nasty af of them btw) they hate living together at first but get closer....and then they fight over who's gonna top. but its grown man yaoi so bonus points for that

30 sai kara no coming out by saike natsuhara. love this one <3 its grown man yaoi. 30 year old moves out of the country to the city so he can lose his virginity. he meets up w a guy on a dating app and they have a great time but then they reconnect bc the guy cannot get over the 30 year old's big ol' tiddies. very straightforward and sweet

natsume-san wa hirakaretai by mamita. this one is okay but the art makes it a stand out. a guy isnt that good at sex so he sets out to learn how to be a sex kitten or whatever and hires an escort/sex trainer????? girl idk and they develop his bottoming skills 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ii ko ni dekitara hometekure by kuroi yodaka. the setting of this one is kinda stupid but its hot.......its in a world where some ppl have a secondary gender of dom or sub 😭😭😭😭 and they have to do subdom play or they'll be on lexepro (its soooo dumb) anyways a teacher got dumped bc his fiancee found out he's a sub and didnt tell her so he wants to meet someone to relieve himself but an ex student (but is now an adult) shows up and he's like naurrrrr but the student is a dom and they click and the teacher hates that he's into it and they find out their sub/dom styles fit each other. *sigh* but the born sub plot point is sooo dumb

kocchi muite glare by yareya umako. ANOTHER 'you're born dom/sub' story 😭 its such a dumb ass idea but the art on this one is soooo good. anyways a guy is isekaied into a world where everyone has animal ears + tails + you're either a dom or a sub. and he's like chill. until he starts getting subby with everything the dom that found him says and theres some shit abt the dom being Too Strong of a Dom but the isekaied sub has no problem w it and yadda yadda ok i didn't read this one for the plot the art is nice and the main couple is cute together SUE ME

netsujou drawing by sakura hitsuji. college student meants a man soooo hot sooooo sexy he's like can i PLEASE draw you i will die if i don't. sexy guy agrees and then the college student is like 'ykw? you're so sexy not only will i keep drawing you, i'm bisexual now. let's date idc if we just met...look at your sexy ass omg' and they go from there lol

one side in room by mitsuko. shy guy with crazy rbf meets another guy that's good at speaking his mind and becomes infatuated. other guy thinks rbf guy is cute underneath the rbf so they fall into dating without actually talking abt dating and shy guy is confused and fucks shit up by being so shy and the drama's a bit annoying but theyre cute <4

itsuka no true end by nakamura makino. sweet and simple setup. theres a couple and they fuck a lot and u go back to get their back story and it turns out one is a literal demon king and the other the hero who was isekaied to kill the demon king but was like um can i not be a murderer? so they got married instead and u see how they went from awkward to mutually lovey dovey

cock n balls (the ones that are mostly 🐓 but i love them not despite but BECAUSE of it)

stay goodboy by dotsuco. this one is basically just porn but im obsessed w this artist's style and how they draw boobs and i need everyone to see it. so there's this sexy dark haired tsundere <3 and he has a boyfrienddddd and they don't meet up for a month and then they do andddd boobs

the dreaming trainer's ideal master by rai yaezaki. if u like big boobs.....this is the one. big tiddied softie works training subs and secretly wants to be one but is scared he's just too breastful but a rich man is like 'i saw u jolting thiccly and fell in love...' and then in the 2nd story a depressed man is saved by a.....street fighter? idk. and the street fighter gives him pussy so good the depressed man turns his whole life around. me and leo if he let me hit omg who said that?

the handsome salesman at work is an ideal master by atarayo aka nocori. my best friend nocoriiiiiiiiiiiii. this one is mostly porn but its got good art and the couple is funny as hell together. gay boy 1 is a severe introvert and gay boy 2 is an extreme extrovert and they have amazingggggg chemistry so introvert gay boy overcomes his fear of extroverts to hook up again and they match each other's freak and its saur good

[beangods]

14, 16, 18 and 20 for the homestuck questions.

14. Least favorite character?

eridan.

16. NOTP?

vriska x men. also dont like vriska x characters who are canonically men. stop fanoning your way into femslash when homestuck has a million billion compelling and bonkers canonically girl characters to smush together. ALSO rose or kanaya x men/canonical men come on now people we've been over this. if you want One Specific Ship i hate for no real reason though i dont really have one OH WAIT gamtav. tell me you dont actually give a shit about tavros without saying those words in that order. he was NOT reciprocating those advances leave him alone!!

18. Do you want Homestuck to just die already?

i wish the main comic had been wrapped up in a satisfactory conclusive way and that hs2/the epilogues either never existed or were likewise satisfactory and conclusive OR AT LEAST kept canon with the snapchat upd8s. i want them to bring back paradox space (official non-canon comics) and keep making merch forever and also for everyone with headcanons i personally dislike to leave the fandom and get really into something else instead.

20. Tell us how Homestuck has affected you in real life.

oh god. genuinely, homestuck completely shaped my adolescence and pop culture diet in extremely noticeable ways. i was one of those dave transmascs

i cosplayed vriska to school. i only really hit it off with my last ex when we started talking about homestuck. on 4/13 last year i almost passed up going to the club because i hadn't drawn any fan art yet. in fact part of why my sleep schedule is so fucked up is that for years i would stay up til 1-3am drawing homestuck fan art. indeed, the fact that i run two homestuck blogs impacts my schedule and daily routine significantly. i've given graded presentations on homestuck music in university. i still say "now we're cooking with petrol!" in real life. not only did i have moirails and auspistices and blackrom crushes in real life in middle school, i also, currently, as an adult, have someone in my life i consider my moirail. over half of my prosthetics, which i use in real sexual encounters, are tentacles, and You Know Why. my OC-verse has been radically shaped by homestuck (and the energy i spend on homestuck does NOT go to my OC-verse; before getting into the comic i thought i'd be a bestselling author by now). there is not a single area of my life that has not been touched by this webcomic. i will probably be buried with a scalemate plushie.

[onlyswan]

hi artiie 🦆🥨

i love the new iw couple update!! thank u for always giving us ur best in every update🥹 the latest one always tops the previous ♥️

i get what u mean ab the bangtan lore, would reread again just to find some more. one im kinda sure about but not really is, when oc flip the backpack mid air??? did jungkook the simp copy her? :( thats so cute… lmao reminds me of the idol oc ask that u just got. heres jungkook, copying everything oc did… smh.. 🙃 she would be such a successful idol w how charming she naturally is HHAHAHA

i will continue to be in awe at how smart the kind of fic writing that u chose to do for ur blog, art 💓 in which became the core of what u write about is so telling at how u are as a person. correct me if i’m wrong but u seem so genuine and loyal, through just following thru the characters and the world u built. its what makes a good writer i believe 😇✌️

idk how to describe it in words but i really genuinely love that u chose to kinda do only 1 story. but, the things you do with this story, goodness me 🥹 (but if u suddenly want to create another world pls dont let this stop u!! im sure we would all love it all the same. it’s just what i noticed after realizing iw is ur main focus💓)

ur choice to keep digging into ur characters, (mostly oc, but how much similar jungkook is in ur stories to irl jk, imagining for us what its like if he’s being put in these situations) is truly a talent. it cracks me up reading the super old iw drabbles that were kinda important to the iw universe being a mere 0.9k word count wise, but if u were to write it now, it would probably be 10k 😂 — another thing, not only wc wise, i love seeing ur growth through ur writing ♥️ ur ability to convey words and emotions are truly one in a million.

love u art, i hope u’ll continue writing for the iw couple for a very long time ♥️♥️

hiii my love 🥺💞 thank you so much for saying that :")

LMAOOOO YES THE BACKPACK FLIP i was waiting for someone to catch on to that :P

lmao reminds me of the idol oc ask that u just got. heres jungkook, copying everything oc did… smh.. 🙃

imagine them getting silly dating rumors over it then it turning out to be true 😭😭😭

oh my gosh it’s such an honor 🥲 idk if i’m a good writer yet but all of you encourage me and motivate me to keep striving to become one! and yeah haha i kind of can’t let go of them until i’m fully satisfied and done them justice by telling their stories 😭 now i understand those writers who take years finishing their work. but i do want to post other works this year as well ^_^

ur choice to keep digging into ur characters, (mostly oc, but how much similar jungkook is in ur stories to irl jk, imagining for us what its like if he’s being put in these situations) is truly a talent.

genuinely tearing upshdksjdkjdf thank you thank you i love you !!!! 😭💞

it cracks me up reading the super old iw drabbles that were kinda important to the iw universe being a mere 0.9k word count wise, but if u were to write it now, it would probably be 10k 😂

oh i wish you could see the horror on my face when i see those drabbles in my notifs HSJSHDJSHDHDHFD i’m ashamed but if i edited them now i know it won’t be the same idk how to explain it so yeah </3 let’s leave them as that ig 😭😭😭 being embarrassed of old works means i’ve improved so they kinda serve as that reminder for me hehehe. thank you so much for recognizing that too 🥹 for just everything really. this made my day. ilysmmmm 🫶🏼

[cwstau]

20 Questions for fic writers

@cchapsticck tagged me and given we should have an update on CWSTAU by the end of this month, figured I should post.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

4 - Most of my work isn't published. I've written a lot but just...not put it out there. I've always been a chicken. However one I archived/deleted and the other is on an account I don't associate with this one, and is on long term hiatus. The other is on someone else's account that will be explained below and just, /gestures.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

18,760 (published) but to give ya'll some idea of how much of Conventional Weapons is sitting waiting to be edited/refined, I have 14k sitting in gdocs

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things, Danger Days. This is a labor of love towards both fandoms, and when the main CW is done, I have pieces that are going expand with both the characters of ST and DD. Any other non-DD things will go on my other account (not associated here).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

adlfkja only got the one baby. But I'm so thankful for each and every one of those kudos.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! It may not always be coherent or the best comment, but I try to give people some sort of response as they've gone that extra mile to provide me a comment. Every kudo, every comment means so much to me. Seriously, I wrote this expecting an audience of like, 2 people, and knowing so many more are enjoying it means the world to me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There is a timeloop fic that remains in the drafts that has a horrible ending, but I don't know if it will ever be published. As of right now, no angst endings here. Complicated, messy, but not angst ridden, really.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The ending of Conventional Weapons is already written--its been written for a long time (before the middle parts were even written) and I don't know if it's the happiest ending, but it's the most hopeful.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nah, I'm too niche for that lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Smut with emotion? IDK. There are plans for smut in CW but I think they are going to be 'missing scenes' published after the fact that people can read/not read at their leisure. I enjoy writing it, but it isn't really what this story is about, and I honestly don't feel that it works with the main body of this story. Hence, the "click here to read the sex" aspect of what is going to happen. The 'sequel' things may be more explicit, as they aren't the direct story.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Gestures to what this entire blog/project is about.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

While not a traditional co-written piece, @cchapsticck has provided insight that has really helped me move this along, and the key mantra in the fic itself is from them. Their art has also really been important as well. They sell themselves short on their additions, really. Their help, esp early on, in helping me shape the world, means that this fic is what it is now.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Legit could never choose one

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Look, the story that's on hiatus may never be finished. And hey, that's okay. I have a few that I've got outlines for, that may never get past that. I'm a slow writer, I always have been. I really dont want to let anything else get rolling until CW is done anyways.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Look I'm going to be honest, I have no fucking idea. I will say I think I'm pretty good at characterization, and I usually feel confident in my choices for the character--in a 'yes they would do this given the situation' and a 'yes they would say that'. Given it's an AU I get more wiggle room, but I feel really strongly about Steve and Eddie's characterization, and I know that not everyone feels the same way I do regarding them--but I'm confident in my character choices in the story. [This goes for my other stories as well but--]

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I hate writing action. I suck at it, and I try to avoid it, despite evidence to the contrary. Trying to keep track of all the balls in the air is just annoying as hell. Also despite this fic having a real overarching plot, I have really wanted to keep it 'vibes' based more than plot, cause things get to plot heavy and I start to worry I'm a bore. It's where my insecurities start to sneak in, which lets my writing to become a lot weaker in turn.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Note: all my statements are assuming you aren't fluent in the language you are trying to write in, and you're a native English speaker. Maybe a word or two is okay? But unless you're fluent, you're gonna make it sound weird. If a character is speaking in German, just say they are speaking in German. Unless it is absoLUTELY important to the narrative that the phrase be in a foreign language, in the fic--do the work to make sure it's correct. Get a native speaker to check it, put in the translation somewhere. But again, ask yourself once, twice, three times if it's necessary.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I didn't consider it fanfic at the time but I absolutely wrote a 'fix it' chapter for the end of The Great Gatsby for class once lol. That was the beginning.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This one. Again, I know it's niche, but CW is such a labor of love, and means so much to me. It's not perfect, I'm slow going because of school and work, but I've never felt so secure in my own work and felt such joy when I'm working on it.

[plasma-packin-mama]

(Asking with my main blog, but this is supposed to come from my fallout sideblog @eattheglowingmoss. Tumblr let sideblogs send asks.)

BUT as someone who also has a funky GNC courier who also causes Arcade problems (Ame Ortiz - 10 Luck, 3 intelligence my beloved). I have to know how Delilah met Arcade. Did they meet him the regular way in the Old Mormon fort? Did they know each other when they worked for the Followers before getting shot? Do you imagine they met some other way?

Love their design!

ok 1st of all. please know that i lost my whole entire mind when i read this ask thank you SOOOOO much for asking about delilah!!!! it means so much to me :') i really really appreciate the chance to talk about them. i did some art to make my answer a bit less "wall of text" bc i have a LOT of thoughts about Arcade and Del. Delilah actually first heard about Arcade from a friend at the Boneyard Library before they transferred to the vegas branch, since it seemed like they had a lot in common!

[they changed their name a LOT in their old life. Nobody is sure why. they were going by Sunny when they left boneyard.]

Julie very enthusiastically told arcade this same info when she heard from HQ that their new transfer was a tech enthusiast.

Unfortunately though... Sunny never made it to the mormon fort. Julie and everyone else waited, but after a few months they were forced to assume that she'd died on her way there. So nobody batted an eye when Delilah strolled in, very enthusiastic to learn about what the Followers were all about!!

They dont specifically remember that they were a follower, but they got a real good feeling when they stepped foot in the mormon fort. (they chose not to examine the source of this feeling. theyre just that kind of person.) they periodically popped in and out of the fort for a few weeks, dumping a pile of medical supplies at Julies feet each time and then poking around for awhile, chatting with all the doctors.

They had an especially good feeling about Arcade. They werent sure why, but when they talked to him, something just felt right for the first time in a long time. They KNEW they had to befriend this guy so they immediately put on their best Cool Guy persona to impress him.

this did not work.

they were not deterred though!!! if delilah is anything, theyre stubborn. so they came back later and tried again.

it wasn't easy for them to convince him though. backpedaling and explaining that they only said that stuff because they thought itd impress him required a level of vulnerability they're unaccustomed and unwilling to provide. so it took awhile of popping in and saying hi and being genuinely interested in what he was doing.

id like to tell about the time they finally do recruit arcade in its own comic, so ill leave this off here for now :)

again thank you so so much for asking about delilah!!!!!! this ask made my whole week and really encouraged me to draw this scene id been wanting to draw for a long time. (also, Ame seems so cute!!! ill have to doodle him sometime soon hehe)

[thefanficmonster]

Much Cooler

Corpse Husband & Emma Langevin 

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: There’s always a certain level of uncertainty when meeting someone you’ve only known online. There’s that sense of insecurity that your relationship with them will never be the same or - even worse - that their view of you might change for the worse. But there’s nothing more thrilling than seeing the person you’ve been talking to constantly for the past however long standing across from you. 

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request and I’m so terribly sorry for how late it’s coming out but I hope the fic makes it worth the wait! Lots of love, Vy ❤

“CORPSE! Wake up you famous dumbass!“ is the first thing the poor man heard over the phone at 9 AM on this fine Saturday morning.

It’s more than enough to make him contemplate why he even decided to pick it up in the first place considering he wouldn’t have been very able to participate in the conversation due to his sleepiness. He also, of course, made the mistake of not checking the caller ID which apparently wasn’t necessary considering how recognizable that voice and accent are.

“It’s 9 AM, Emma.“ He states as a tired parent would to a child, “I’m concerned as to why you’re up so early. More so as to why you’re calling me of all people.“

He can practically hear her roll her eyes but he still smirks to himself, knowing she can’t contradict him or argue since he’s completely right with his claims. “Whatever. Remind me to never call you to congratulate you on a milestone again.“

Now that pokes at his attention with a stick. Lately, said attention has proven to be a hibernating bear, leaving Corpse with a lack of interest or motivation for anything but damn if that sentence wasn’t enough to roll him out of bed and hop on PC. “What? What milestone? Subscribers?“

“Nope! You got two million likes on ‘E-girls are ruining my life’! I can’t believe I have to tell you this! Didn’t you notice the numbers climbing?!“ Emma, as annoyed and sarcastic as she’s trying to sound, she’s obviously overjoyed on his behalf and is super proud of him and of the project she luckily agreed to take a small part in.

As his PC boots up, Corpse can’t help but roll his eyes at Emma’s comment, “Well unlike you I have better things to do than refresh a page over and over aga-” His sentence is quickly cut off when he sees the number of likes under the song for himself.

Knowing that he’d find it there didn’t change the feeling of seeing it for the first time at all. It’s so surreal and so hard for his mind to comprehend. Seeing as how little he thinks of himself, his content and his art, this is like his success coming to slap him across the face as if to punctuate to him how wrong that mindset is.

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you offered to take me out for at least a coffee to celebrate, bro.“ Emma comments sarcastically, joking only halfway from what he can sense.

He smirks, “Trying to even the playing field, I see.” He replies, referring to the fact that he’s still a faceless mystery to her while her face is literally the cover art for one of his songs.

She laughs but is quick to dismiss his claim, “Nah, I might be a curious and nosey little shit on other occasions, but other people’s privacy is not something I dig my nose into. However, if I were to even the playing field between us it wouldn’t be appearance-wise. More personality-wise. For my sake and yours I choose to believe you are way cooler in person than you are through messages or on a call.”

This withdraws a genuine fit of laughter from Corpse who throws his head back, a few strands of hair moving aside to reveal his shiny eyes, “Well then, instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, how about we settle it once and for all? Tomorrow? I’ll text you the location.”

Emma’s eyebrows shoot upwards as soon as she comprehends his words and the tone that leaves no room for her to assume he’s joking, “Wait what? How come you’re agreeing to this? And so easily? Nah, this a trap if I’ve ever seen it.”

Corpse laughs yet again, “No trap, Em. I just can’t have you doubting my coolness.”

                                                             *  *  *

The main reason as to why Corpse requested for this meeting to be today is because he feared that if he had more than twenty four hours to dwell on it he’d chicken out. Little did he know it was the same for Emma. Their friendship has only ever existed with the bridge of social media connecting them and they both can’t help but fear the other might not like who they are IRL. They fear they unintentionally become a different person or change things about themselves subconsciously when communicating with people online. Bottom line, they’re scared of letting the other person down with who they really are, unaware that their personalities are most likely the exact same because, as the people who know them can confirm, neither Corpse nor Emma are the type to put on a show in order to be liked. They would rather have no friends because of who they are than have friends and fans of their persona instead of the real them.

And so, while slightly afraid and anxious about this meeting, both of them see it as a relief test to see if the friendship is in fact as real as it’s seemed these past months.

Corpse was the one to choose the location of their meet-up, a location Emma didn’t even think twice about agreeing on, and ever since, they’ve both been counting the hours until their scheduled meeting time.  It’s not about impressing each other, at least that’s what they’re both telling themselves, but rather proving to the other that they’re worthy of their friendship. They might throw snarky and sarcastic comments at one another that others would give a side-eye glance to and question if their friendship is real, but they know the dynamic best and they sure as hell don’t wanna lose it or each other.

Best friends are the ones who roast each other after all - you can’t tell me I’m wrong.

The nervous Corpse fidgets with the insides of his hoodie pockets as he waits outside the café, having arrived ten minutes early because he couldn’t stand being alone with his thoughts in his apartment, judging every fragment of himself twice as harshly as usual. Emma, on the other hand, could barely bring herself to leave her home. She kept retouching her appearance, despite knowing Corpse wouldn’t judge her even if she showed up in pjs. To be fair she contemplated doing just that several times because her hair pissed her off enough to get her discouraged on her outfit altogether but she did eventually talk herself into pulling it together. She already knew she’d be at least five minutes late, but once again, she knew Corpse wouldn’t care.

He’d wait, cause that’s the kind of friend he was. Cause that’s the kind of friend she was for him too.

And boy did it take her less than a second to recognize him. She wasn’t even out of the car when she saw him and knew it was exactly who she was looking for. He too, as if with a sixth sense that registered her presence, shoots his head up from his phone to look up at her, their gazes meeting. There’s a brief moment of close-to-shocked silence, their eyes a bit widened as their brains comprehend that they’re within arm’s reach of one another.

That’s when Emma’s the first to break the bubble of awe as a wide grin spreads across her face and she runs to Corpse, wrapping him in a hug before he’s even realized the distance between the two’s been closed.

“Hey.“ She mumbles, her face hidden in his hoodie due to the height difference.

“H-hey.“ He replies, hesitantly wrapping his arms around her too.

“I was right.“ She says once she pulls away, “You are much cooler face-to-face.“ She pauses for a second, narrowing her eyes, “You’d be even cooler if you bought me coffee though.“

Earning a laugh from him, she’s guided into the café by the arm Corpse wraps around her shoulders, telling her he’s get her a milkshake cause he doesn’t want to see her high on caffeine. Needless to say, they both are, indeed, much cooler to one another IRL.

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[nightfury-2001]

I posted 967 times in 2022

152 posts created (16%)

815 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lumii-is-the-name

@eventidecryptid

@mudzdale

@chameshida

@baisleyarts

I tagged 967 of my posts in 2022

#reblog - 804 posts

#art - 623 posts

#httyd - 620 posts

#httyd fanart - 490 posts

#night fury - 339 posts

#toothless - 261 posts

#hiccup - 142 posts

#httyd oc - 137 posts

#night light - 94 posts

#light fury - 90 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#this completely goes against the themes of the franchise (at least if ur actually like. killing them) but it could certainly be a fun game

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

They're introducing a species from Rescue Riders into the main universe/canon and they somehow look so much worse than they did in Rescue Riders 😭😭😭😭😭

like theyre SO fucking ugly who did this dreamworks why did you choose THIS species to bring over out of all the rescue riders dragons i dont understand

62 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#4

Wanted to make a new chunky baby fury oc and got a bit carried away - I imagine he's one of Toothless and Chunkful's babbies in my au LOL

84 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

#3

Hello friend! I am looking for what I'm positive is some older Nico Marlet concept art of a Night Fury hatchling... Google is bringing me nothing but I'm fairly sure you've posted about them before. Do you happen to know what I'm talking about? 😅

Soooo sorry for the super late response but if you're still looking, here it is! I managed to find this screencap compilation made by someone which features it on the bottom left. I tried to find a full high quality version of just the page with the Night Fury hatchling art but man it's hard to find good Riders of Berk screencaps:

Cropped/close up (pretty bad quality, sorry!):

See the full post

86 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

#2

why is one of the writers for tnr saying weird shit like this like this didn't answer that person's question what are you going on about

88 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Wait, the Boneknapper isn’t canon anymore? Since when?

Yep, a couple years ago Richard Hamilton straight up said it wasn't "officially canon" on Twitter.

See the full post

93 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[theunconcernedembalmer]

ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot

just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.

im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)”, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.

im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.

going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.

i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.

this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.

(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)

so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder. 

so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.

aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.

having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.

idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas

so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)

im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun

[classycadaver]

A side blog for my main classycorpse. I'm posting any future art + writing here just cause I like making things difficult for myself. Anyways- heres a oneshot esc thing I wrote for a Post-Apocalypse esc au based around Fallout and Metro Exodus. I dont think I'll ever finish it but I was fairly proud of how the first chapter came out so I'm sharing it.

The original title for this work was "Pieces of The People We Love " and was going to follow the main plot of the founding of L'manburg up until it went boom, but through a Post Apocalyptic lense.

Reblogging is much appreciated and encouraged!

•○●○•

" Watch out for that branch. " 

    

" What bra- OH FUCK!" 

    

    Wilbur snorts at the explosive cursing behind him, smirking as he stops and turns toward Tommy. The young teen was hunched over, rubbing at his face all the while letting out a litany of curses. 

    

    " Your just a grade a fuckin' comedian, aren't ya Wilbur? '' Tommy spats venomously, glaring up at his brother. Wilbur chuckles, a genuine smile splitting across his face as he rolls his eyes. " Do you think it's funny? Trying to blind your poor, helpless, younger brother in such dire times?" Tommy adds. Wilbur notes the red line that streaks across Tommy's nose and cheek, presumably where the branch had struck him; Wilbur shakes his head as his younger brother continues to air his grievances, rolling his eyes at Tommy's overreaction. 

    

    " Well, I did warn you. Not my fault you can't follow simple commands. '' Wilbur humms back in a matter-of-factly tone. " And good job with the big words Tommy, I didn't know your vocabulary had expanded so much. Techno would be proud. " 

    

    Wilbur is already turning around, walking further along the path the two were currently traversing. Tommy fumbles with himself, trying to think of a response as he hurries after Wilbur. Tommy has to lengthen his gate to match Wilburs pace, almost fast walking to keep up with the taller man. 

    

    " I- well-.... whatever, you're a jerk, I don't have to explain myself to you. " Tommy hisses, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.  " Plus- dire isn't a big word. Anyone can say dire, bitch. " The blonde added hotly. 

     " Whatever you say, Tommy. " Wilbur chuckles, waving off his younger brother. Tommy gapes at him, taken aback at being dismissed so swiftly.  

    " Did you just wake up on the ' let's bully Tommy today' side of the bed this morning? Cause you're being a pretty big dick, Wil, not gonna lie. " Tommy grumbles, glaring holes into the back of Wilbur's head. Wil simply shrugs, letting out an exasperated noise that indicated he was clueless towards Tommy's accusations. " I have no idea what youre talking about,Toms. " Wilbur hums. " Someones just extra sensitive today it seems. " 

     Wilbur cackles when Tommy punches him in the side, a string of angry curses leaving the teens mouth. The punch had no real anger or malice behind it, but the younger boy's bony knuckles dug into Wilburs side almost painfully, leaving a sting where Tommy's fist had struck Wil's side. The taller of the two let's out a huff, a shaky, wheezing, laughter following it. 

    " This is older sibling abuse-!" Wilbur laughs. The darker haired man dodges another swing aimed toward his arm, he catches Tommy's fist in the air. Wilbur is quick to spin the agitated teenager away from him, snorting humorously as Tommy almost loses his footing. Tommy desperately tries to catch his balance less he falls head over heels into the dirt road. 

     " Fockin- What the hell do you call that, then?" Tommy yells back at Wilbur, gesturing to the open space around them. " 'Older Sibling abuse' my ass!" The blonde growls, throwing his hands in the air. Tommy stands his ground, arms crossed over his chest as he stares Wilbur down with narrowed eyes. 

    " I demand an apology. " Tommy practically growls in a haughty tone. 

    " A- you can't be serious?" Wilbur stops in his tracks, looking at Tommy with a exspression that screams 'your bullshiting me, right?'. " You started it!" Wilbur accuses, letting out an airy laugh of disbelief.  " You want me to apologize for defending myself against such a brutal attack?" 

     Tommy's gaze seemingly hardens at Wilbur's words. His brow furrows and his mouth sets into a deep frown. Wilbur finds the look downright adorable. It sparks a small nostalgic memory for wilbur, reminding him of the earlier days with his brother- when Tommy used to pout whenever things didn't go his way. Although it seems like not much has changed over the years. 

Wilbur lets out a long, drawn out sigh; a hand flies to his face, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. " Fine. " Wilbur knew that Tommy wouldn't let something as simple as this go so fast, it was best to just apologize and get it over with. Internally, Wilbur cheers himself on by being such a good older sibling. 

    " Tommy I'm sorry-" Tommy looks at Wilbur triumphantly, a smirk already replacing his frown. Wilbur suddenly narrows his eyes behind his glasses, " I'm sorry for defending myself against a rather vicious attack. " He finishes. Wilbur mirrors Tommy's fading smirk as he turns away, suddenly dismissing the teen with a simple wave of his hand. Still a totally honorable older sibling thing to do. 

     " Asshole!"

     Wilbur snickers, shoving his hands into his pockets as he hears Tommy's encroaching footsteps. 

     " You think you're so-" 

     " About a mile up this road and We'll reach Essmpy." Wilbur interjects into Tommy's sentence, smiling softly as he watches his brother give him a death glare. There's a few beats of silence that pass between them, only the ambiance of nature filling in the gaps. The quietness seems to calm Tommy down considerably; the teen walking behind Wilbur in uncharacteristic silence. Wlibur cast a glance over his shoulder, observing Tommy with a mild sense of worry. Wil opens and closes his mouth, unable to find the words he's looking for. Eventually Wilbur lets it go, content with the silence. 

   But the quietness doesn't last long before Tommy begins to talk. " I'm not letting that go, by the way-you shit head. I'm holding that against you, until you actually apologize." The blonde declares, looking pointedly at Wilbur before looking away. Wilbur simply shrugs, deciding that there were worse fates than a brother's faux hatred. 

    A pregnant pause follows Tommys sentence, although Wilbur can tell the boy was attempting to put together another string of words. Wilbur walks patiently alongside Tommy, slowing his pace considerably." Do you think Techno will be there? Or.. or Phil?" Wilbur seems to be caught off guard by Tommy's question. The taller man's gate stutters as he tries to formulate a response. " Maybe? I don't know. '' Wilbur chokes out, furrowing his brow. " I mean-.. Techno was all the way up near Glay'seir. Doing college stuff and what not. So he's probably still up there, yea? I heard they were pretty well fortified, so Techs… okay, most likely. '' Wil blurts out, looking at the road ahead of them. His brown gaze flits over to Tommy, who had fallen back into a concerning quietness.

    The blonde simply nodded his head, looking down at the beaten dirt path below his boots, subconsciously wringing his gloved hands. He quickly pushes down his anxieties, shoving his hands to his sides as he thinks of something funny- anything to get rid of the melancholy mood.

    Tommy grunts when he smacks into Wilburs back, huffing agitatedly as he stumbles back a few feet, an insult already on the tip of his tongue. Before he can say a word, Wilbur whirls around, grabbing Tommy's hand as he starts to run the way they had just come. 

     Tommy barely has time to collect himself before he gets jerked backwards by the force of Wilburs hold on his hand. He nearly trips over his own feet in an attempt to keep up with Wilbur, the anxiety and fear building up in his chest making it even harder to focus on where he's running. 

     In another quick motion, they stop. Wilbur ducks past one of the shrubs lining the road, tugging Tommy in after him. Before he knows it, they're both sitting behind a tree, covered by the foliage surrounding them. Tommy scowls at the uncomfortable feeling of roots, sticks, and leaves beneath him; but he does not express his disdain for the area Wilbur chose to hide them in. 

     " What was it?" Tommy whispers, trying to peer past the tree trunk to get a glimpse of whatever Wil had seen. Tommy is immediately pulled back, a hand planted over his mouth as Wilbur shushed him. The blonde glares at Wilbur, scowling as he pushes Wils hand away from his face, grumbling angrily at his brother. 

     They wait in uncomfortable silence. Tommy listens intently for any sign of movement, but only hears the general ambiance of the forest. He lets out an exasperated sigh after what feels like ages of waiting, head thudding against the trunk of the tree before turning to Wilbur. 

     " Come on Wil, there's literally nothing out there-” Tommy's mouth snaps shut, body going completely rigid and eyes practically bulging from their sockets. Fear silences any words from escaping his mouth as he stares at the thing Wilbur had apparently seen earlier. He feels Wilbur tense next to him as the brunette moves into a crouched position, his hand clenching Tommy's  hand almost painfully. Both of their eyes are trained onto the creature just a few trees away from them, its giant grey body could clearly be made out from between the greens and browns of the forest around them.

    The lanky abomination has its flank toward them, its whip thin tail flicking back and forth as its large head hangs heavy between its bony shoulders, presumably sniffing the ground. Tommys breath catches in his throat when the creature's head suddenly snaps up; a high pitched, echoey cry leaves the animal's parted maw. The sound seeps directly into Tommys soul, his hand clenching Wilburs. 

    Wilbur glances back at Tommy taking his sights off of the creature for a moment. Tommy catches Wilburs eyes, fear very prominent in his blue gaze. Wil takes another quick look toward the creature before mouthing the words ‘ back to the road.’ at Tommy. The blonde furrows his brows in confusion. Back to the road? Surely that thing would hear them going through the underbrush? Was Wilbur nuts? 

    Tommys eyes widen when Wilbur shifts in place, yanking his hand from Tommy's. In a swift series of movements, Wilbur's arm is thrown back with a large object in hand- wait when did he get a rock? There's a loud crash as Wil throws the object; The rock tumbles through the foliage, effectively catching the creatures attention. It lets out a rumbling bark, immediately nose diving into the underbrush. Tommy scrambles against the bark of the tree, watching as Wilbur bolts from his spot besides him and quickly disappears past the tree trunk. 

     Tommy scrambles to follow Wilbur, tripping over his feet and the roots of the tree as he goes after Wil. Dread seeps into his stomach when a loud, ear piercing howl erupts from behind him. Tommy has his eyes set onto the back of Wilburs trench coat, focusing on his brother's back as his legs fly a mile a minute beneath him. His heart thunders in his chest, lungs burning as he sucks in quick gasps of air. 

    A crash and screech alerts them both that the Creature had caught on to their scent, the loud pounding of paws on the earth floor was enough to light a fire beneath Tommy's feet. He watches as Wilbur pushes past the barrier of foliage that encases the road they were traveling earlier- a spark of hope ignites in the boy's chest as he closes in on where Wilbur had disappeared. Tommy's mouth opens into a silent cry as he trips over a root or rock, sending his body barreling through the wall of leaves and out onto the road.

    Tommy hits the ground hard, the impact forcefully knocking the wind from his lungs as he tumbles forwards. Tommy lets out a wheeze as he lays helplessly on the road, desperately gasping for air as he claws at the dirt beneath him,  trying to make more distance between him and the creature. 

    A loud caterwaul fills the air, quickly followed  by a near deafening screech. Tommy curls in on himself, covering his head with his arms. The blonde cries out when something solid hits his side as an uncomfortable warmth seeps through his ragged clothes. 

     Tommy peeks open one of his eyes, face morphing into fear as he stares at the battered face of whatever had been chasing them. He screams, desperately scrambling backwards to get away from the thing. It takes him a second to realize that the creature very much wasn't alive at all. The head that had been staring at him was decapitated, head severed just below its jaw from its neck. 

  

     " Damn- that was a close call. " 

     As if the situation could get even more confusing, a voice comes from Tommy's left, spooking the boy significantly. He turns to face whoever had just been talking. Tommy is immediately greeted by a figure looming above him, the sun above perfectly silhouetting the stranger just right so he couldn't make out their face. 

 

     " Wil?" Tommy asks hesitantly.  He quickly realizes that whoever this was- certainly wasn't Wilbur. Tommy immediately gets into a standing position, swaying lightly on his feet from an intense feeling of vertigo- he must have hit his head hard when he fell. 

     The green man takes a step back, holding up his hands in an attempt to appear harmless. The bow and arrow in hand accompanied by the sword on this stranger's hip paints a different story. The incredibly tall height this guy is packing intensities the whole "intimidation" factor- he has to at least be eight feet tall. He was clad in a green camo jumper, a gold chest plate adorns his chest along with golden shoulder pads, his face obscured by what appeared to be a gas mask. 

     " Who- Who the fuck are you?"  Tommy splutters, unsure of what to make of this situation he's found himself in. The stranger lowers his hands, a soft "oh right" escaping him as he tries to find the right words. 

    “ My name is Awesam... But my friends call me Sam. “ 

[yeoldontknow]

catch up tag 🌸

tagged by beautiful angels @chillingtae and @yoonia to do this catch up tag. thank you so much loves! i hope you guys are having a happy friday <3 <3

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

kat is fine! i introduce myself to people as kat. if youre using my full name youre either upset with me or a member of my family lmao

2. when is your birthday?

jan 23

3. where do you live?

nyc

4. three things you are doing right now?

working (waiting for one of my systems to load which has been bogged down and super slow lately), listening to my spotify release radar (which is....not great today im disappointed), mentally drafting lines and description for the next hero chapter as im in the mood to write today but im absolutely not in a romantic place lmao

5. four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

uhhh ill list fandoms ive written fanfic for! kpop (obviously), merlin, muse, and supernatural (but like really specifically supernatural seasons 2-5)

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

i mean....50/50. my company is amazing and i know im super privileged. ive been working from home since the end of february and corporate have been extremely generous (giving us additional time off, mental health days, extending summer fridays until end of 2021, compensating for home office needs, restructuring work from home policies to accommodate parents). i got a bonus in june in place of my raise due to financial tensions but was confirmed for another promotion next year - even was offered a new job, literally straight offered didnt even need to interview, to create my own team in a different department. i have a roof over my head and food on my table. my family is healthy, my parents are retired and safe. like...im so so so grateful.

mentally and emotionally and creatively...i am struggling. a lot of my inspiration for fics comes from being out in the city and observing people and their interactions. even architecture inspires me. the act of moving through a city inspires nearly all of my fics (like..i think everyone can sense that lmao asas is in london, light sakura is tokyo, all quiet is movement through spaces, hero was inspired by a building in harlem). not having that kind of motion and observation has made writing really hard. and also just...the news and the onslaught of hyper-reality. its been utterly daunting and ive found myself completely burned out more this year than ever before. usually my burnout hits during new years or the holidays. ive spent part of summer and part of autumn and literally all of november just...vacant.

so yeah. 50/50

7. a song you can’t stop listening to?

Flexibility of Mind - GRoost

8. recommend a movie?

Summer Wars (2009, hosoda mamoru)

9. how old are you?

31

10. school, university, occupation, other?

currently employed at a major company in the arts & entertainment industry

11. do you prefer heat or cold?

cold!!!! its so easy to warm up and bundle. who doesnt love cozy socks and hoodies and slippers <3 <3 its so hard for me to cool down in the summer and i hate sweating lmao

12. name one fact others may not know about you?

uhhh i worked in music supervision while getting my masters and the two degrees i have do not necessarily relate to the work i do now lmao

13. are you shy?

i can be. im definitely introverted and find other people to be way, way more interesting than i am. i enjoy listening to people talk about their passions and what interests them, and this also means that i dont say much or say anything at all about myself, really. im not usually the first person to engage in a group or even to introduce myself first to someone unless i get the sense there is someone uncomfortable (with the energy, the topic, the setting, etc) and then i will put myself in a position of leadership to make them feel safe

14. preferred pronouns?

she/her !

15. biggest pet peeves?

people who react rather than respond to criticism or confrontation; people who instigate drama; really loud groups of people on public transportation

16. what is your favorite ‘dere’ type?

i dont believe i have one

17. how would you rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be?

ill say like...8

18. what is your main blog?

this one - yeoldontknow

@yeoldontknowiread is for ficrecs

20. is there something people need to know about you before they become friends?

i can be pathologically secretive in that i dont really talk about myself or what my day has been like or what im up to unless something happens that is exciting or interesting. being an introvert also means that my regard for our friendship will define it as something sacred and i will likely be more devoted (though quietly so) than you might be if youre an extrovert. im really passionate about things and if i sense that you are not as passionate about those same things i will likely not bring them up again unless i feel like you want to hear about it. it might take me a while to respond to texts or messages, but it doesnt mean i love you less. there could be long periods of inactivity in our friendship but if someone else asks me about you i will say i love you and you are special to me and will call you a close friend even if its been years since weve last talked

tagging: @yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @jamaisjoons @j-pping @yeolville @loeybeans @ditzymax @imdifferentshadesofpurple @red-exo @iris-somnia @inkedtae @yeojaa @hobi-gif @sahmfanficbts @snackhobi @delhyun @yutacrush @nunchiwrites @blackberrykai @kimtaehyunq @jiminiethot and anyone else who wants to do this. i know i tagged a lot of people but really i just want to check in on you and see how youre all doing. as always please only do so if you wish <3

[myriadimagines]

End Of The Year Faves 2020!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

i was tagged by the lovely @lxncelot & @musicallisto !!!

i’ve only written 10 one shots this year since i stopped taking requests rip. i only ended up picking 5 of them bc i didnt like the rest. also i love talking about the behind the scenes of writing like its just so fun. i literally went through my revision history in my google docs to see how i wrote these akjsdhasjd so literally........... if anyone wants to talk to me about a piece........... just shoot me an ask bc i will gladly tell u all about it

1. Lifetimes (Sebastien le Livre) 

this might be my number one bc it’s the most recent and i havent decided i hate it yet but wrote this as an alternative to therapy lmfaooooooo and it’s been a month but um. it still hurts. but anyway, i started off with the below paragraph:

And Booker has centuries of pain under his belt. Endless years of trauma that he cannot even begin to unpack. But you don’t have centuries. You don’t have lifetimes to reconcile with all the cruelty in the world  —  you just have one, and Booker knows he of all people should know just how much hurt one lifetime can contain.

and just worked around it, bc i was just really obsessed with the concept of having multiple lifetimes and all that, and just the fact that life has so much pain and hurt and it just sucks. i edited the first sentence for the final but otherwise it’s the same. i think i came up with some pretty good lines in this if i do say so myself, and i mentioned it in the a/n, but i intended for it to be longer but didn’t want to push it after i feel like i had written all i wanted to. i just wanted someone to hold me and comfort me clearly. 

2. Cursed Blood (Renfri)

i am obsessed with renfri as a character and her whole story, and the whole concept of her being cursed just felt like something that i really wanted to explore and write about. these were the first lines i wrote for the piece:

But every time you kiss her, you swear that it’s impossible her lips could be poison. Or perhaps you grew so used it, that the poison tasted sweet. 

i ended up editing this a lot for the final version, but a trend in my writing seems to be i always come up with how to end a piece and just work around it. i really enjoyed going into depth into renfri’s character and it kinda felt more like a character study than a reader insert? but eventually i found a way to work the reader in there and i liked where the story went, bc renfri deserves happiness and someone to be there for her.

3. Roadside (Robin Buckley)

still in shock at how many notes this one got and i am forever grateful to everyone who reblogged/left comments!!! this was for lacey’s ( @moonlit-imagines ) writing challenge, and idk why when i saw the prompt i immediately decided to use robin. for this one, i actually started with the beginning, which was the prompt, “Let’s take a walk. Just you and me.”

i mentioned this in the a/n, but i planned it to be a lot more angsty and wasn’t even planning on ending it on a happy note askjdhaksd the original plot i had in mind was that robin and the reader were into each other but were dancing around each other’s feelings. so one night, the reader drunkenly kisses steve at a party to try and make robin jealous, but it ends up just causing a rift between robin and the reader even after they confess their feelings. here is a part i wrote for the original plot before i decided to scrap it and go with the final plot.

“Look, I don’t even care if you and Steve get together.” Robin waves her hand, and you’re not used to seeing such disappointment on your best friend’s face as she lets out a shaky breath. She looks as if she’s struggling to collect herself before she asks, “I just… why did you lie to me?”

“I didn’t.” you desperately blurt, and Robin’s eyebrows furrow. Shaking your head, you take a step towards her as you explain, “I didn’t lie, Robin, I swear. I don’t like Steve. What happened at the party meant nothing—”

Robin scoffs. “Then why—”

“—because I wanted you to see.” you finally confess, and Robin stares at you. You’re shaking, tears welling in your eyes as you continue, “Because I thought I could make you jealous, because I was just too afraid to make a move and wanted you too. And I know that’s silly of me, and I never meant to hurt your feelings—”

i changed the plot because i didn’t think i could pull it off, and i didn’t know how to fully end it. i liked where it ended up going anyway after the change of direction so all good!!

4. Games (Michael Gray)

so this was inspired by a gif imagine request that @fangirlsarah16 sent me, which you can find here!! you can literally see me already plotting for the piece in the tags aksjdha i just loved how angsty the situation was, and i love michael, so i decided to just run with it. i put what i had already written into a document and just pieced everything in around it. this is definitely one of my more dramatic pieces, but i just loved how the story came together and how all the other characters were included. 

i already planned to write a part 2 while i was still writing this piece, but obviously that hasnt happened yet. also i got discouraged bc i thought it would do better in terms of notes but oh well. i wrote around 300 words of where i wanted part 2 to go, and i still have it saved, but i dont want to share it in case i end up writing it. also, i have 2 plots in mind for where i want part 2 to go, and haven’t decided which one i want to go with. we’ll have to wait and see i guess >:)

5. Off Limits (Cassian Andor)

ah yes, the first in my rewrite project that is going along very slowly. basically, im planning on rewriting my super old one shots in hopes that i’ll like them. i swear i’ve got the next one shot in my drafts but i just havent had the time to finish it yet. anyway, the original piece, which i wrote 4 years ago (!!!!), was the piece that really got my blog started and helped me get activity/attention, and it has around 500 notes, which kinda makes the new version look depressing bc it only has 97 and it’s definitely a lot better in my opinion. 

i don’t really have a detailed process for this one, seeing as i was just improving upon an old piece, but one of the main things i did want to change was cassian’s characterisation. i felt like i just made him too mean in my old piece, and i wanted to loosen him up a bit. i managed to bang this one in one day and i just think it’s some cute content and i miss the rogue one squad!!

i’m tagging @moonlit-imagines @emcon-imagines @lotsoffandomimagines @dannyboy-writes @murswrites @randomfandomimagine @sonsofeorl @spxder-mxns & all other content creators that see this!! i’m definitely missing a lot but everyone should share their favorite pieces from this year :’)

[mirshroom]

Helloo.. I just found ur blog cuz i saw ur idv zine art n must i say that im glad 2 find more idv artist on tumblr. Im new 2 idv btw-started playing around mid season 11. n ur idv comics lmao i laughed like mad man,also u draw luca so hot asdffgjksk Anyw Ive seen some people asked u some tutorials to play idv,n if u dont mind,what hunter do u usually use? Im terrible as hunter n my exp is so low.. do u perhaps have any tips?do u usually camping too as hunter? Thank you n have a nice day^^

Hello! I’m happy that you like my IDV comics and artworks! I’m not much of a pro in IDV (I’m just a casual player who likes to set rank goals) so  take my advice with a grain of salt!

I was a Photographer main (highest was 43rd A badge as mid Saber until season 10 reset) and right now I’ve been having fun with Violinist. Here’s a vid of some recent gameplay I did as Antonio: 

https://twitter.com/mirshroom_game/status/1288813415306276864 I recommend knowing your hunter’s hit box and figure out what persona build works for your hunter. Also knowing where survivors spawn on the map is very useful, especially if you play Photographer. If you play a different hunter, you can guess where survivors would decode and immediately make your way there. (For instance if I spawn in the big boat on Lakeside,  I immediately head near shore/towards shack because you can run into two survivors there.) (In the Violinist gameplay from above, I headed straight for god kiting behind two-story since I knew someone spawns there.) Peepers are great to help get survivors down/harass with. You can throw down a peeper at a cipher, area where they might try to kite, or at the chair. Violinist and peepers is deadly. Wanted Order is helpful so that you can harass people on ciphers with your mirror (as Bloody Queen), Wuchang’s umbrella, or Violinist’s notes to slow the cipher rush as you camp the chair. I usually patrol around the chaired survivor (not really face camp them). If I have peepers, I can patrol and cut off survivors from rescuing. If I’m playing Joseph, I hold down the second skill to patrol near working ciphers and card trick back to the chair when I think a rescue might happen.

Know which pallets to break and which pallets to not break. You don’t have to break every pallet because that wastes time -- you can probably just go around it. 

If there is someone nearby to rescue, either hit them to do an early rescue or wait until it’s almost past half -- they might try to stall but you can either hit them for a terror shock/make them save after half.

Try to chair survivors near ciphers that are being worked on, which forces survivors to abandon that cipher + start a new one. 

If survivors are dedicating on the last cipher machine, you can switch traits to abnormal and decrease the progress on that machine.

Here’s some good hunter tips from 1st soldier gaming too!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAM9uwnoKvw&list=PLppwQev52WzyO9Y0vfSVCFLVtdfKvRFpT

Hope this helps!!

[vampanic]

okay here’s what i remember from THE CON

i can’t remember if the ticket was cheap or pricey. i don’t know why. i wanna say it was more expensive or of equal value to a bigger con and i justified it to my parents and myself because it was the first one. but i went because i thought the idea of a con that was centered on the various fandoms popular on this site at the time was a genuinely neat idea. i also thought, okay let me just go because it’s another one to attend.

i should note: that have been to a lot conventions in my time. i’ve been to acen twice i think? i’ve been to nebkon twice. sadly i have never been to c2e2 or flashback chicago (which i may never get to go to now whoops) and i’ve been to wizard world chicago i wanna say 4 times?

now at these cons (mostly wizard world) these fandoms aren’t as present. in fact, the main demo of that con was adult to middle age to older visitors as well as families, so usually teens and young adults would find each other at this con (whether planned ahead or by accident there) and freak the fuck out over our cosplays or mutual love of whatever.

so because of this again the idea of a t.umblr con was exciting to me, even though i was already at the end of being interested in those fandoms (as i’m sure most people were at the time)

okay so first, this con was far. wizard world and acen are held at the rosemont convention center which while kind of far from where i live, is accessible by train via downtown or via one of chicago’s big airports. i always got a ride though which with summer traffic, took forever. so much like that this con was a journey away.

the hotel the con choose i remember thinking it seemed new, but it was far from where i lived which inpacted the amount of time i spent at the con and the decision to only go two days (i didn’t return the last day because it was a shit show)

i went to this con by myself because i think at this point i had already had a falling out with my friend who i went to cons in the area with (she did not attend that i know of). i wore two cosplays that i had made already for other things, gwen stacy and america chavez. this would have been the ideal place for me to cosplay something more niche, but i just didn’t care that much about it. maybe i didn’t think it was worth it at the time since it wasn’t going to be a big con.

so i get there and there’s no long line to get my badge in fact i don’t even remember a line at all. which, for me, was bizarre. every con i’ve been to before had huge lines even on off hours to get badges. but whatever. i cant remember if where i got my badge was in the the same room as where the ball pit was or not. but yes, i did go into the ball pit and i was silly in it with some other people because

idk you see a ball pit you go in the ball pit? in hindsight i know it’s not acceptable to have this at a con, but shit i guess i was high on life at the time. someone took a pic of me in the pit, but i have never seen it.

i remember seeing some very impressive cosplays at this con. i also bought some really great art in the dealers room which was small. (here’s the artist. also this was nonfandom art. i don’t remember buying anything else from anyone because i don’t think i saw anything i liked/could afford) there was no unlicensed night vale merch sold here that i remember, but i do remember receiving free unlicsenced night vale like pamphlets from a random vendor and also  there was a vendor who was giving away a large piece of night vale fan art with a purchase of over something dollars i dont remember.

panels: i don’t remember there being many panels or even very interesting panels. panels i remember going to include: bisexuality in media/bisexuality representation (which was put on by the bisexualbooks tumblr), ask an avenger (which was put on by various marvel cosplayers), and a panel that was about female characters in supernatural (i was a spn stan back in the day jsyk).

the bi one was good. i remember it being the most like a panel that you’d go to at a larger convention. they had slides and info and they took questions and had several speakers.

the avengers one was what we’d call today “cringey” but it was cute. it was exactly what it sounds like. avengers cosplayers sat up on a stage answering questions in character. i believe that all the cosplayers had rp and/or ask blogs which is why they were chosen.

the supernatural panel was, like the bi one, complete with slides and various speakers, but from what i remember it was mostly going down the list of female characters in the show. i remember from the fandom that there a good chunk of people who love the characters, but they’re often killed off or abandoned and this is something a lot of fans did have gripes with. this is gonna sound fake when i say it, but this did happen, we got to charlie and someone said “yeah i like charlie she’s cool because she’s a lesbian but she doesn’t act like one like she’s still feminine” and i spoke up and said “well yeah it’s cool she’s a lesbian, but what do you mean she doesn’t act like one. like queer female character shouldn’t have to be feminine to be seen as good rep.” and people clapped. i know that sounds fake, but please believe me because this is a setting where people are inclined to clap when they agree with statements. people clapped at others too.

i also attended the costume contest, the night vale panel, and the meet and greet with doug jones.

the contest was fine. there was one individual at this con who i can’t name because i didnt know their name, but they cosplayed as ed from edd ed and eddy and they were in character the whole time to the point of discomfort. it wasn’t just for the contest i found myself in a cards against humanity game that they were in and it was even there and it was weird.

then the night vale panel happened and ooooooooohhhh boy

this was the most filled room in the whole con. a main reason i went to this con was to see them and im pretty sure this was everyone’s main reason to go. i known someone from other cons who came from florida to see this. (fun fact: we were mutuals on various platforms and had hung out at various cons and i knew their name, but they could not remember mine and i thought that was bogus so i ghosted them. dont know if i was justified in that but whatever)

so here we all were waiting. for over an hour. during this time people talked and i remember someone cosplaying the glow cloud went up and down the isle with a little glow cloud baby in a stroller and we all laughed and cheered. people started playing card games. we kept busy. for me though.

this was one of the most boring cons i’ve been to honestly. i’m having trouble remember a lot of it and that’s because i went solo. i had no friends there. i cosplayed gwen from like the 60s and this was before spidey joined the mcu and before itsv was a thing so spidey was basically an niche fandom (i was active in the tasm and dane deha.an fandoms at this time and the latter became toxic as fuck but that’s a whole other story) or something older comic fans liked.

my other cosplay was america chavez from young avengers which never got that popular either (though kate bishop and kid loki where more recognized, but for their connection to bigger marvel names). so it wasn’t like other cons where my cosplay was an ice breaker and i could join groups. i was alone.

so a lot of the con for that reason was awkward and waiting for night vale was like being the person texting in the corner at a distant relative’s party because they know no one.

so they finally come on stage to say that night vale will not be performing and people went ballistic people were shouting and the person said “we have doug jones in the next hall you should go over to that” and someone yelled “WE DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM”

i went to see doug jones and i was previously unaware of what his name was but i knew who he was. he talked about his work and acting process and did a meet and greet after. mr. jones was a delight and i’m wondering how they even got him there in the first place. he was leagues above this. 

i had to leave the con early that day to go to my brother’s football game, but i believe that was the night they “protested” at the con and i kept seeing on tumblr that it was cancelled. i decided not to go back the next day because i was unsure of what was happening and because it was too far.

and the rest is history. i’m sure i went to other panels, but i can’t remember them. i do remember going into the room where they were watching pacific rim, but it was on a shitty projection screen and i wanted to go to a panel instead.

it’s shitty what happened with the con. and a lot of the unrest came from literal teens who were cheated from money who didn’t know how to act, but all the responsibility goes to the people who organized it poorly. The concept of a tu.mblr con i don’t think should have been inherently bad. i think it would have been cool to have a con that focused on more niche interests. but shouldn’t have been as big as they wanted it to be for the first go.

anyway that’s most of what i can remember. it’s kind of blur because i spent most of it by myself and there wasn’t much to do so i didn’t even spend the whole day there.

quite frankly, i’m glad i wasn’t there when they started singing les mis because i have no idea how i would have acted.

[votometrash]

Love Choice Review

Okay so I had no idea Masquerade Kiss would be Love Choice, but this title has managed to tempt me into reading it anyway. I can’t say I’m happy about it but there are a lot of things I have to say, since the whole Love Choice (LC) system has been controversial, or just incredibly detested/undesired, ever since its conception. And it does suck since I’ve been wanting Voltage to release more mature titles (and the whole female spy thing was just a plus, I guess). Voltage did a really good job of hyping up this release and I love/hate them for it lmao. But yeah here are my two cents on the LC feature. Sorry for the longass rant in advance. If you only care about my opinion regarding Masquerade Kiss and Kazuomi Shido’s route then you can check out my review later on my blog (if and when I get to it). But I still mention the title here and there in this review since it is the first LC main story that was released.

For most people who have been with Voltage for a long time, LC is probably one of the worst things on the planet, right after the Love 365 app debacle which caused many to lose their stories if they weren’t aware of the transfer dates or not able to transfer their data (technically they’re losing the right/license to access those stories, cause they don’t own them) and all the other customer service horror stories you can think of. Generally, for people who think that converting coins into hearts and not being able to read the story however they want are terrible ideas, they will outright avoid LC titles/stories. Since LC is F2P, it isn’t much different from the other otome/visual novels that have premium options where people have the option to spend money.

But let’s just think about it for a moment.

The appeal of LC is that you can read the stories completely free of charge. Yes, there is a countdown timer which prevents you from reading the next episode immediately and you would have to spend hearts to bypass that. But let’s keep in mind that Voltage Entertainment USA (aka the subsidiary which creates apps catered towards Western audiences) is also doing something similar with the ticket system. Plus they don’t even give you the option to buy routes anymore, which is why we should be thankful that Voltage Inc hasn’t done that with their Japanese apps yet. I just want to make the best of what we are given (and hopefully try to get a little enjoyment out of it), even if LC is terribly implemented.

So just hear me out for a second. A very long second.

If you’re not one of those people who need every single CG and ending AND don’t mind the wait, this post is mainly for you.

PLEASE JUST READ THE DAMN STORY. LIKE READ MASQUERADE KISS RIGHT NOW WHILE THERE IS NO WAIT TIME (until 2/17). It costs you nothing and you will still get a pretty complete experience.  Don’t be stupid and believe that you’re missing out if you don’t get the CG’s. Go look the CG’s up online or something if you have to because I’m sure someone has posted them regardless of whether it’s allowed or not. It has a decent plot that doesn’t make me want to ram my head into a wall from secondhand embarrassment. Sure there are aspects of it that weren’t written well (will be explained in my review later) but it’s still a good story and I don’t regret reading it. It would be a shame to miss out just because you’re too busy hating on the system. If you don’t want to spend your free hearts (or don’t have enough) on CG’s that cost you 20-30 hearts and options that require hearts, just use it towards reading the next couple episodes (for when they go back to subjecting you to wait times). At least you still won’t be using as many hearts. Yeah the CG’s and love choices are hella expensive and they shouldn’t be. It might even feel like you’re being punished for not choosing those choices because in the end you won’t be getting the happy ending. But they’re not NECESSARY. However, if you still want the CG’s/happy endings, just reread it again later when you get enough hearts. I don’t know, that’s not a priority for me so I can wait on unlocking those CG’s. 

From Episode 1 up to the second to last episode, you’re getting the same. exact. content. Let me repeat that. YOU GET THE SAME EXACT CONTENT. The only thing is that you won’t get all of the CG’s or the super happy ending, which are what people are really paying for. Is it really worth it??? Voltage apps don’t have bad endings. They’re either the romantic/passionate alternate endings or it’s happy(or normal)/super happy endings. No endings where it’s game over, you’re dead or oops you screwed up this entire thing. You’re essentially getting the same ending, just a slightly different view of the events. Just more vanilla, if you don’t get the “better” ending. Slightly fewer lines of text, less description. Big whoop. That and well, you don’t get the CG. Too bad. No personal bragging rights for me to put on my metaphorical trophy pedestal. For me, reading the visual novel is the main goal. The art and CG’s are just a plus, a very much appreciate plus. I would care more about the plot because if you are reading a terribly written story, what’s the point in having good art anyways? You look at it for a bit and just move on to something else that isn’t a waste of time.  

And like....come on. If you hate the LC feature, that’s all the more the reason why you should try it. It won’t even hurt you to read the story if you’re adamant on not spending money/converting coins. Even if it’s terribly written, you didn’t pay for it like you would have with a P2P story. No monetary loss there, just lost time and feelings of disappointment. And if you hate waiting or think LC is a waste of time, just think of reading an episode whenever you have time. You don’t have to commit to it. You could speed read an episode in a minute or two and then go on doing whatever else you want to do with your day. It shouldn’t take up that much of your time. And if you forget to, it’s fine. Not something you’ll be too invested in.

They’re not charging you for anything, so suck it up. I’m sure you have other things you can do in the meantime while you wait for the next episode. Your life doesn’t revolve around otome games (unless you’re adopting an unhealthy lifestyle in which case you have more things to be concerned about). Don’t be a whiny bitch about it. And that’s why the hearts system exists... for the impatient people. They WANT you to spend money on their products, since that’s the whole point of running a business. Yes you’re paying for a one-time access when you’re using hearts to read episodes. Yes you have to start over if you want to reread a specific episode. Ultimately it’s up to YOU to choose whether you want to spend money or not for LC stories, but you don’t HAVE to.

Again, I’m emphasizing the word ‘time’ because if you really don’t have time, then seriously just do whatever you’re supposed to be doing jesus christ. Don’t feel like I’m calling you out for not wanting to read LC stories because you don’t have time to wait around for it. I’m not telling you to prioritize LC over Voltage’s other stuff. Just give it a chance if you can afford to do so, because money isn’t the issue here if you can read the story for free. I know people look towards Voltage apps as a way to relax and so that I understand that reading a LC novel would not be a choice if you have limited time. Because why go for LC if you have perfectly good apps that you’ve already paid for and can read whenever you want? I understand. I really do.

In regards to people complaining about Masquerade Kiss being a LC novel, I have a couple things I want to say. Voltage has the right to choose whichever title they want to be LC. Besides, what criteria do you expect them to use in choosing which titles should be LC? It’s not as if they’ll be like “oh let’s choose an okay title to be Love Choice”, just to make customers glad that they don’t have to waste money. That’s not practical. And ideally they wouldn’t want to be writing shitty stories anyway. They need to make money off them or else it’s a waste of all the money and time they invested into producing the title. For the most part, all the newer titles have been decent, if not good. There will be people who love them and people who hate them. So how would you decide the best choice to be LC among all the good titles? And it wouldn’t make sense to make a title both LC and P2P because that would be when people will REALLY start to hate LC, especially when you have to fork out a ridiculous amount of hearts for the CG’s.  Then there will be even more customer complaints yay. Also, if they made it P2P how many coins would they even charge for the whole route, considering how many hearts they have to spend for the CG’s? The CG’s are “free” only if you have enough hearts for those in-game choices that you want to choose, but if you’re paying for them that would mean it’s like $2-$3 per CG. 

Since they announced this feature, it’s here to stay unless they decide to get rid of it (which I doubt). YOU DON’T GET A SAY IN IT. Their company, their products, their choices. They will make whatever choices in which they benefit the most from. Sometimes those choices will align with what customers want. Sometimes they won’t. You don’t like it then you leave. That’s what most people would do anyway. Even if you do leave, there will always be more people getting sucked into the Voltage trap anyways. If you don’t, then you will continue to rot in the sin bin that is Voltage and there goes your money. Sadly, that’s how the world works. 

So yeah if you’re still reading, thanks for reading my very long winded, unpopular (probably) opinion. You’re a trooper. I have respect for you. I’m just here to get this off my chest. Please don’t hate me. 

[shidiand]

How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.