#i dont want to have studied for four years for free just to have to put myself into debt for a master's degree so that i can “have an edge”

[ihfmseatsoch]

ok ok ok so if i may be so bold as to request something, ive been enamored wiht the idea of an older, controlling, borderline abuse boyfriend jimmy, like he and reader live together on earth, and reader goes to college, while jimmy works physical jobs trying to support them both. he's a SHITTY person though, so hes jealous of any man the reader talks to, reads through their phone, makes sinde comments about their weight and appearance, and (im totally not projecting here) eventually pressures them into dropping out, for like his perfect little live in partner/gf fantasy sjdhasd feel free to do whatever with this, but this specific scenario has not left my head for days

WHEEE this was fun to write ^w^ i rushed this a bit but i just didnt want you to have to wait any longer... :p

—

Jimmy Zare x fem!reader

reader uses fem terms (girl, girlfriend)

genre: how do i categorize this.... fic that makes you feel bad or horny depending on how you handle verbal abuse lol

word count: 1.8k

warnings/content: age gap, domestic abuse, manipulation, arguing, fat shaming, several references to the readers body/appearance, jimmy being the biggest asshole oh my god i hate him (i want him so bad it makes me look stupid)

(is it bad that writing about jimmy yelling at me turns me on... WOAHHH who said that .....😰 also dont kill me for the weight shaming part IM A FAT GIRL !!!!!! i like when evil men are mean to me !!!!!! RAAAH)

—

"He's a good guy, he can actually be really sweet!"

That's a sentence you find yourself saying out of complete muscle memory at this point whenever someone questions why your boyfriend–... well, they question an awful lot about your boyfriend.

For example, why he's over twenty years your senior whilst you're still going to class on the weekdays. Why he doesn't allow you to see your friends, wear certain clothes, leave your apartment without him, and why he takes up so much space in your brain, completely distracting you from your own life and goals.

You've missed at least four assignments this semester alone. It's stupid, really. You thought you'd be done with obsessing and crying over boys after you graduated highschool. It's completely immature for a so-called adult like yourself, but then again, you're hardly into adulthood at all.

Jimmy, on the other hand, has a lot more life experience, many of those experiences negative. That might be why you've taken some form of pity on him, going so far as to move into his apartment so you can take care of him when you're not busy. He needs someone to make sure he doesn't fall off the deep end.

The thing is, it's become hard to fit him in your schedule, but whenever you're unable to make time for him after he comes home from work, that familiar scowl on his face indicating it was another shitty day, he throws a fit.

He'll accuse you of everything under the sun; Infidelity being the primary thing.

"You don't love me. There's someone else, isn't there? It's that one kid that asked you to help him 'study' last week, isn't it? No? Give me your fucking phone, then."

This is what you come home to everyday, so it's nothing new. In fact, you're pretty used to it by now. Though today, Jimmy seems particularly pissed.

"Where have you been?" He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, eyeing you up and down like he always does when he's about to grill you on something.

"Sorry..." You mutter, way too tired to deal with one of his moods again. "Traffic." You answer simply, not having enough energy to overexplain yourself like you normally do.

"Uh huh. Traffic." He mimics you in a way that already tells you he's not buying it. Great.

"...It's the truth." You shrink into yourself at the way he's looking at you. Contemptuous as always. You're in for another argument, it seems. A million, desperate pleas run through your mind;

'Please don't give me another lecture about how you're my only financial support, and how grateful I should be. Please don't ask to see my phone. Please don't tell me to drop out.'

But, of course, you can't actually change the outcome of this. You're gonna get yelled at. Belittled. Degraded.

"You're two hours late, and you're gonna tell me you were just stuck in traffic?" He pushes himself off the wall and walks towards you.

"You're never home when you're supposed to be, and when you are home, you're all tired and upset.” He pokes a finger into your shoulder, hard. "What do you think that looks like from my point of view?"

"I'm sorry." You rub your face, exasperated. God, you wish he would shut up sometimes. Sure, he can be amicable, but lately... he's been a raging dick. Yet, you can't help but cling to the memory of his good moments. "I'll try to make it back on time tomorrow."

"Yeah? And how many times have I heard that before?" He sneers, "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"

The way he accuses you so confidently, so sure of himself... it's insulting. Does he really think that little of you? "College has been kicking my ass, Jim. You know that. I'm not hiding anything from you, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, college this, college that. Always complaining about fuckin' college," He scoffs, his eyes stay narrowed, still glaring. "How about what I'm going through? You think I'm having a great time every day at work, hm?"

"No, I–" You stammer, hating the way he's turning this around to make himself the victim. Oh, woe is him, having to provide for himself and his girlfriend. How tortured he is. "I know, alright? I'm sorry. I just– what else do you expect me to do?"

"Be here. Like you're supposed to be. And I expect you to stop acting like I'm the bad guy for asking you to be a decent girlfriend."

Jimmy's voice raises slightly as he takes a step closer, towering over your sheepish figure. He nudges your shoulder again, even rougher this time.

"I'm busting my ass every day to put food on the table, and you can't even have the decency to show up on time, let alone look happy to see me?"

"I– I am happy to see you! I am, I'm just– you don't get it. I want to be here, but... I'm not even halfway through this semester, and–" You stumble over your words as you attempt, in vain, to defend yourself. It's not like he'll ever feel sympathy for you. It's always about what he wants. What makes him happy.

Jimmy rolls his eyes at your attempt to reason with him. It's as if he doesn't even register a word you say. "But what? What's more important to you, huh? Some stupid classes, or the guy who keeps a fuckin' roof over your head and feeds you? Be grateful, goddamn it." He snaps, grabbing your arms and giving them a forceful shake.

You flinch from being handled like you're not even a human being, much less one with feelings. "Stop, please, I'm– I am grateful, I really am..." You're not lying, either. To be honest, his guilt tripping works wonders on you. Are you really acting unappreciative? He wouldn't be this upset if you were in the right...

He seems unfazed by your frightened demeanor and continues to hold a firm grip on your arms. He looks you up and down, not even having to say anything for you to know he's judging you, as a girlfriend and person in general.

"Oh, you're grateful? Then maybe you should act like it for once." Jimmy gives your arms another firm shake, a harsh reminder of who's in charge here.

"I'm not asking much of you. I just want you to be here, and you can't even do that. Do you think I'm just gonna sit back and accept that bullshit?"

"No..." You shake your head, looking down at the ground in shame. Were you really that awful? You didn't want to be a bad partner, it's the last thing you ever wanted. If you could make eye contact without feeling guilty, you'd see Jimmy's face light up with satisfaction as he finally notices you're not even bothering to put up a fight anymore.

There's a condescending lilt to his tone as he speaks, "No one will ever love you like I do. You know that?"

You nod, knowing there has to be some truth to his claim. He takes care of you, doesn't he? He keeps a roof over your head, gives you money for groceries, and he's not always that unpleasant to be around...

He's a good boyfriend. You're the problem. You always are.

"Exactly."

The grip on your arms eases, moving them to place a hand on each of your shoulders, contrastingly gentle compared to his behavior only moments ago.

"You oughta thank your lucky stars you have a man like me who puts up with all your bullshit. You get that, right? How lucky you are to be with me?"

You know he's right. You were blessed with someone who still loves you, despite your many shortcomings. You're too fat, the acne on your face and body is repulsive, the way you do your makeup is weird... all of this being things Jimmy has told you directly. At least you have an honest boyfriend, isn't that what every girl wants?

He gives your shoulder a pat, like he's treating you like a small, petulant child. "You realize I could have literally any girl I want, right? Pretty, skinny, smart ones, even. But I chose you. Because I care about you."

He pauses, letting that sink in.

"But it would help if you'd actually put the effort in to look decent." He adds as an afterthought.

You've internalized every single snide remark he's thrown your way, reminded of them every single time you look in the mirror. Yet he still loves someone like you. Someone so difficult and embarrassing to be with.

"Jim, I don't... I don't know how I'm even gonna be able to free my schedule at all with school and stuff..." You mumble guiltily. You know he wants you to drop out, he's suggested it more times than you can count.

"That right there, that's why I'm frustrated, goddamn it," He says with an exacerbated sigh. He moves one hand from your shoulder to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Why don't you get it? Dropping out isn't the end of the world. Just quit and stay home. Done. Easy."

"It's not that easy... I want to get a good job and help out too, you know..."

It's true that you want to pull your weight around your shared home. With your combined income, it'd make everything easier. But... with how shitty college makes you feel, leaving you beaten down and tired by the end of the day...

You find yourself listening to Jimmy on this for once.

He can tell you're seriously contemplating it this time, which makes him feel... more in control. He's got you thinking and believing exactly what he wants you to. Soon, he'll be able to get you to obey him without another word from you.

The thought of having you as his subservient, stay at home girlfriend is more than appealing. It's his goal to mold you into what he wants you to be.

"Yeah, yeah, I get that, I know. But you're stressing yourself half to death, and for what? Some stupid degree? Listen to me, I'm not gonna ask you again. You're just creating problems that don't need to exist. Just quit. You'll have plenty of free time that you can spend with me."

You can't deny how tempting the idea is. Hesitantly, after several moments of pondering the hypotheticals and what-ifs, you speak up,

"...I guess... dropping out wouldn't hurt too much."

He perks up at that, barely being able to contain a delighted grin. You're actually putting him and his wants first, and acknowledging that he's right. You're doing as he says, without any of the usual arguing or excuses. He'll finally have his dream complaisant, docile girlfriend to come home to every night.

It only took a month or two to finally get you to cave. You'll be easier to control from now on. Hell, maybe you'll lose some weight with some free time on your hands, stop wearing that shitty makeup...

"Good girl," He says in a patronizing tone, like he's addressing a child, "That's what wanna hear."

God, you really hope this isn't a bad idea. Jimmy looks pleased for once, so...

This decision can't possibly ruin your future too badly, right?

—

[introvertedexhuastedpigeon]

my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting

[up-in-space-reading]

Average Weekly Screentime - Chap 3: Walks in the Cold

pairing: Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago

word count: 3648

warnings/tags: college au, texting, drunk texting, text fic (mostly, there's prose a few chaps in), bets, bisexual!jake peralta, jake peralta has adhd, parties, drinking and alcohol, sexual references, implied sexual content (nothing explicit, just suggested its going to happen/has happened), friends to lovers, swearing, mentions of cannibalism, lighthearted threats of violence (typical rosa stuff yk), fluff

read on ao3

Average Weekly Screentime masterlist

Story Summary: texting fic college AU with the squad! It's the beginning of the school year and while everyone else thinks it'll be the same as the previous year, Gina has a feeling things are going to be different and wagers a bet with Rosa and Charles. Told through all the various group chats everyone is in.

Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 5 | Chap 6 | Chap 7 | Chap 8 | Chap 9 | Chap 10

authors note: I'm sorry this chapter is entirely based around a party but SPOILER there's non-text writing!!! so get excited babes, its heating up now.

Jimmy Jabbers

[02:29pm, Tuesday]

Pineapples: how do they dig graves?? Pineapples: at this point in time they cant use shovels anymore thats insane Pineapples: but a whole excavator in a graveyard seems risky bc what if they hit a headstone

RoRo: they get like 10 dogs in

Queen G: what if they still use shovels tho?

Four Eyes: They do get excavators in; it does look a little bit weird but there’s not really any other efficient way to dig a grave Four Eyes: 1 image attachment

Pineapples: if anyone sees me laughing at the grave digger machine no u don’t

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[11:32pm, Wednesday]

Ferris: amy r u awake?

Cameron: Yeah, why?

Ferris: idk im just worried

Cameron: About what?

Ferris: what if i dont finish all the assignments in time for break Ferris: i dont wanna be kicked out

Cameron: Firstly, they don’t kick you out. You just don’t pass those classes and have to retake them (or drop out, of your own free will) Cameron: Secondly, we’re going to get them finished. You’ve been working hard and I am sure they’ll all be done in time for winter break

Ferris: but what if they arent???

Cameron: What if we put some stakes on it?

Ferris: theres already stakes

Cameron: Stakes that you’ll enjoy a lot more than an existential crisis

Ferris: im listening

Cameron: If you finish all of the assignments in time for winter break I will go to Terry’s annual New Years party AND match you drink for drink. If you don’t finish them, you have to jump in the fountain in the courtyard

Ferris: ur literally a genius Ferris: i do not want to jump in that fountain and i absolutely want you to go to that party

Cameron: I’ve not been to his New Years parties and for good reason

Ferris: you better start dress shopping then ames because this is ur year

Cameron: Part of me hopes so

Ferris: ill let u sleep now Ferris: gn

Cameron: Goodnight, Jake

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[4:30pm, Thursday]

Pineapples: amy and i are in the library if anyone wants to join

RoRo: what are u doing in the library?

Pineapples: studying duh

Mr Grapes: on my way now!

Pineapples: see u!

Queen G: our school has a library??

RoRo: why wouldn’t it??

Queen G: because theyre boring

Four Eyes: I take offense to that

Queen G: of course u do

-

Dance Squad

[4:40pm, Thursday]

Scary: so charles, now that you’re in the presence of them Scary: how close are you to winning this bet because by my calculations you’ve got about three days

G-Hive: oh damn! rosa coming in hot with the trash talk

Charlese: I will not give up hope yet, three more days is enough

Scary: with the way they are now three days is nowhere near enough Scary: gina how are you feeling?

G-Hive: as confident as ever <3

Scary: i admire that

-

[11:59pm, Sunday]

G-Hive: and its a tough loss for charles on this fine evening

Scary: knew it

Charlese: alright alright I get it Charlese: severe underestimation but in my defence they should’ve gotten together over a year ago

G-Hive: no they shouldnt have

Scary: so g, its just you and me left

G-Hive: if we’re being fair then charles does have a grace period before its closer to your guess than his but my calculations dont swing in charles favour

Scary: tough break charles Scary: maybe next time

Charlese: crying my self to sleep tonight Charlese: gonna start bugging Jake about his feelings for Amy

G-Hive: violation of the rules!!! G-Hive: no meddling G-Hive: ur such a meddler

Scary: no interference or else

Charlese: got it got it, no interference

-

Sexy Bitches

[10:34am, Tuesday]

Ter Bear: Hey Gina, just giving you a heads up that Liam is having a thing for his birthday at his place this Saturday

Sexy: seriously?! Sexy: thank u for the heads up

Ter Bear: And don’t tell them I told you but if you cozy up enough to him, he might let you DJ Ter Bear: He’s seen the playlist and didn’t mind it

Sexy: I LOVE U TERRY Sexy: i owe you big time

Ter Bear: You always owe me, I’m good to you guys

Sexy: you really are

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[10:39am, Tuesday]

Queen G: i have just received some amazing news!

Pineapples: can i guess! terry is having a party

Queen G: yes!

Pineapples: well technically its his friend liam Pineapples: its his bday Pineapples: terry text me too lol

Queen G: but i bet he didnt mention that im gonna DJ!!

Pineapples: NO HE DIDN’T

Four Eyes: That’s great news, Gina, congrats. I’ll be there to listen to your amazing playlist

RoRo: me too

Mr Grapes: finally someone who will listen to my requests!

Queen G: if ur request is not from a musical and from the last 2 years then i might consider it

Mr Grapes: best party ever already

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[10:45am, Tuesday]

Ferris: u gonna be alright with a party?

Cameron: Yeah of course, as long as I get at least three drinks in me haha

Ferris: thats the spirit ames!

-

Sleuth Sisters

[10:47am, Tuesday]

Amy: Does Jake have a nickname for you?

Rosa: no

-

Girls, Girls, Girls

[02:16pm, Saturday]

Gina: when r u guys gonna be at mine?

Rosa: closer to when we have to leave

Amy: I’ve got some work I need to finish up, lets say around 7-7:30?

Gina: it doesnt even surprise me that u guys dont take more than 2 hours to get ready Gina: we’re leaving at 9 and u guys are getting here at 5 at the LATEST

Rosa: only if I can pregame

Gina: of course u can

Amy: Yeah sure, I’ll be there at 5

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[02:19pm, Saturday]

Cameron: Has Gina always taken multiple hours to get ready to go out or is it just a development in college?

Ferris: hahahaha oh no Ferris: shes always been like that Ferris: ever since she discovered makeup and curling irons

Cameron: That makes sense haha Cameron: She’s making Rosa and I be at hers at 5pm at the latest to start getting ready for tonight

Ferris: arent we leaving at 9??

Cameron: Yep!

Ferris: oh amy… Ferris: hahaha Ferris: itll be fun tho

Cameron: Yeah it will be

-

[07:18pm, Saturday]

Cameron: She has a curling iron so close to my scalp right now, help me

Ferris: hahahaha sorry ames ur on ur own

Cameron: You’re the worst!

Ferris: if i had to get my hair braided when i was 11 then u have to get ur hair curled now

Cameron: That is an amazing piece of information that you have willingly given up, thank you so much

Ferris: amy no Ferris: what r u doing Ferris: ur not telling rosa right?? Ferris: amy please Ferris: i thought we were friends

-

Bi Besties

[07:23pm, Saturday]

Dagger: HAHAHAHAHAHA

El Baboso: shut up

Dagger: I bet you looked so cute with your braids too

El Baboso: of course i did!

Dagger: HAHAHAHAHAAKAJDJKSD

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[07:24pm, Saturday]

Ferris: youll pay for this

Cameron: Uh huh, sure I will haha

-

[09:12pm, Saturday]

Cameron: Gina is finally ready, how are you and Charles going?

Ferris: charles and i are on our way to the party already.. Ferris: sorry

Cameron: That’s okay! We’ll meet you there

Ferris: see you there!!!!

-

The walk to Terry’s was cold but the bottle of gin that the three of them were passing between each other helped warm Amy’s insides. She was feeling angry that Gina had talked her into wearing a dress and envious of Rosa’s warm and comfortable looking leather pants.

“Longest 10-minute walk of my life” Rosa said grumpily, arms crossed in front of her.

“Two more minutes and we’re there” Amy reassured Rosa (and herself).

“Its cold but its also party time! Let’s get excited ladies, we look hot and I’m DJ-ing, the night is young and I have a good feeling” Gina proclaimed into the night, making Amy laugh.

“You’re right, its gonna be a good night” Amy agreed, and she even saw Rosa crack a smile out of the corner of her eye.

Finally, they arrived at Terry’s and the place was already pumping, the music loud and coloured lights glowing in the windows. The first thing Amy registered upon entering the house was the amount of people moving around; walking from somewhere to get somewhere else, dancing to the music, or talking loudly to each other. If it weren’t for the gin on the journey over she’d be overwhelmed immediately, but her senses were dulled and the warmth promised by the alcohol was finally blossoming in her stomach.

She was feeling good as the three of them made their way through the house to the kitchen where they found Jake and Charles laughing about something. Charles lit up upon seeing them and it made Jake turn around, he looked happy to see them before his eyes landed on Amy. He froze, quickly looking her up and down before continuing with a loud greeting and offer of drinks.

Gina took a few swigs of the remaining gin and said she was going to find the speaker system and get the music really going.

“There’s four of us left!” Jake yelled over the music, Amy gave him a confused stare in response, “Its time for beer pong!”

Amy was immediately on board, as was Rosa. Charles needed some convincing, and after a hype speech from Jake and gathering all the cups they could find they were setting up beer pong on the dining table. A small crowd had begun to gather as they were setting up, raising the pressure to a level Amy thrived on.

The four of them gathered next to the table to discuss the terms; losing team gives $40 to the winning team.

“Looking forward to my $20, lunch is on me next Tuesday” Amy teased Jake as he always asked to get lunch during their study sessions.

“It will be on you, because you’ll be giving me $20” He responded smugly.

“In your dreams” Amy scoffed before they made their way to their assigned sides of the table.

Amy and Rosa were given first throw, a decision Jake and Charles would quickly grow to regret. The game was full of trash talking and celebration dances. Charles gagged on the cup Rosa secretly filled with vodka which made even Jake laugh despite the loss of a cup.

After intense back and forth, and the crowd growing increasingly invested in the outcome of the game, both teams were down to one cup each. But after the number of drinks, it was difficult for both teams to aim properly.

It was Charles and Jake’s turn, Amy was nervous and watching Jake intently, hoping to psych him out. Just as he was leaning his arm back to throw, Amy tossed some of her hair over her shoulder. The small action was enough to make Jake falter for a moment and his throw was off, Amy and Rosa (and the half of the crowd rooting for them) cheered.

Finally, it was their turn again, Amy volunteered to go first. She took a deep breath as she bent her arm back and lined up her throw, everyone waited with bated breath to see if this was the one. The pressure and tension gave her an odd sense of calm, she threw the ball as calm as ever and it landed right in the cup. The crowd erupted into cheers as Amy and Rosa celebrated with cheers of their own as well as high fives and fist bumps.

Jake and Charles hung their heads, Jake volunteered to take the last cup for Charles who looked grateful. After their celebrations had finished Amy revelled in Jake chugging the last cup and trudging over her to give her the money owed. She heard Charles say something about paying Rosa tomorrow and Rosa threatening that she’ll remember.

“Here you go, Ames, a well deserved twenty bucks” He handed a $20 note over to her.

Amy took it happily and tucked it into her bra, Jakes eyes followed her hands the whole time.

“Thank you very much”

Jake nodded to signify a ‘you’re welcome’ before Amy continued.

“I’m gonna ask Gina to put on a victory song!” She laughed, and Jake laughed with her.

“I’ll come with!” He yelled over the music which suddenly got louder.

They both journeyed through the house to find where the music system was. Gina was standing behind a table with who Amy assumed was an actual DJ, they were both bopping their heads along to the music and pointing to something on Gina’s phone.

Amy pushed her way through the crowd with Jake in tow in the direction of the table. Once there Jake gestured for Gina to lean in close, and so she moved so that she was leaning across the table with her face close to Amy and Jake’s.

“Rosa and I won beer pong, we need a victory song!” Amy yelled, hoping Gina could hear her.

Based on the satisfied smile that graced Gina’s face she did hear.

“I told you tonight was gonna be good!” She stood back up properly and began looking through her phone once again with the DJ.

Amy couldn’t help but smile because Gina was right. Jake then jerked his head towards the makeshift dance floor and Amy nodded in response. The two of them moved away from the table a little bit and began moving to the music.

The song changed to what Amy assumed was the victory song and it got her blood pumping, she wasn’t thinking about how she was dancing she was just moving the way she felt like it. Jake seemed to be doing the same thing, taking the loss incredibly well.

The lights got dimmer, the various colours now being the primary light source in the room. Someone bumped into Amy, she stumbled into Jake who caught her and held onto her arms. He gave her a look that asked if she was okay and she nodded in response before continuing to dance, now closer to Jake.

He kept one hand on her arm before sliding it down to hold her hand, he lifted their arms up in the air for her to spin under. Amy spun around while giggling, once she was done he let go and a part of her was disappointed.

They continued to dance for so long Amy lost track of time and how many songs they had danced to, Jake knowing every word to all of them and her knowing some. The dance floor had become more crowded as the night went on, her and Jake had been slowly bumped closer to one another, now standing just inches apart.

Amy’s brain was foggy but she managed to hold onto various thoughts of how nice Jake’s arms looked in his shirt, and how thirsty she was getting after all the singing and dancing. She leaned close to Jake’s ear.

“I’m gonna get a drink!” She told him.

He nodded in confirmation and mouthed what Amy assumed was ‘I’ll come too’. Amy turned around and started shoving through the crowd, wondering if it was Jake who had his hand on the small of her back or some creep. A quick look behind her showed that her intuition was correct, Jake following closely behind with a hand on her back sending a tingling feeling up and down her spine.

These were all feelings Amy decided to unpack tomorrow, or the day after, or never.

Once they were in the kitchen Amy raided the fridge and found some bottles of water, handing one to Jake. He opened his and chugged half of it in one go while she wrestled with the lid of hers still.

“Can you open it for me, please?��� She held out her bottle of water, looking slightly defeated.

“Sure” He smiled and grabbed the bottle off her.

He opened it with ease and Amy’s eyes widened slightly, she hoped Jake didn’t notice as she quickly took the bottle back from him and took a few mouthfuls. It cooled her down and she was finally able to think properly, asking Jake what the time was.

At almost 1 in the morning, she was debating on going home or staying for a bit longer, voicing this debate to Jake standing across from her, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“You can’t walk home by yourself Ames” He countered.

“I can’t force Gina and Rosa to leave, I actually think Gina is gonna be here forever” She joked, Jake laughed with her.

“How about, three more songs and then I’ll walk you home” He offered, and Amy had to admit it wasn’t a bad deal. She was concerned about walking home alone.

“You’re sure you want to leave?” She asked, not wanting to inconvenience him.

“Yeah. Charles is off with a girl – texted me like 20 minutes ago – and like you said, Rosa and Gina are gonna be here forever. I’m almost ready for bed” He reasoned, and Amy couldn’t say no.

“Alright then, three more songs” She agreed with a smile, having another mouthful of water and turning to make her way back to the dance floor.

Jake once again followed close behind, not touching her this time Amy noted. They found a small empty spot on the dance floor and resumed their dancing as if the small break hadn’t happened. The two of them were once again just inches apart and Amy took note of it immediately this time.

She felt heat in her cheeks at this note and thought about it the whole time they danced to the first song, then the second song came on and Amy couldn’t ignore an ABBA remix. Both her and Jake sang every word loudly with wide smiles on their faces, gesturing and throwing their hands in the air when they felt appropriate.

If someone were to ask Amy she’d say it was the most fun she’s had at a party in a long time.

Finally, as the third song faded out and a new one began, Jake gestured his head towards the front door and Amy nodded in agreement. She quickly got her small bag from where she’d safely stashed it near Gina and followed Jake out of the house.

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[01:07am, Sunday]

Pineapples: amy and i leaving Pineapples: have fun party animals

-

The cool air and quietness of being out of the house was almost jarring to Amy’s senses. They walked for a few minutes in comfortable silence, but it wasn’t long until the cold got to Amy and she began shivering, arms wrapped around herself.

“You look cold, here” Jake stopped to take his leather jacket off.

“You don’t have to-“ Amy began before being cut off by him.

“I do, what are friends for”

She let out a small laugh and looked at the ground for a moment, trying to hide the heat spreading in her cheeks despite the cold. He held the jacket out for her and she accepted it happily, putting it on and crossing her arms in front of her to keep the front closed.

“Thanks” She said quietly.

“That’s okay”

They continued the walk this time talking about the party, specifically the beer pong match, recounting the highlights and lowlights of the game with a lot of laughter in between. Amy found herself not wanting the walk to end, despite how cold, tired and tipsy she was.

Finally, they reached a divergence in the path and Amy expected Jake to go the opposite direction to her towards his dorm but he continued walking by her side.

“Isn’t your dorm that way?” She interrupted his sentence and pointed to the left.

“I said I’d walk you home, I’m a man of my word Ames”

“Oh.. okay then” She accepted without argument and continued walking to her dorm with Jake by her side.

It was only when they were right outside the building doors did Jake feel comfortable leaving her, confident she could get to her dorm by herself, a comment he said which made her laugh. They said a quick goodbye and Amy watched Jake walk away for a moment before turning and entering the doors of the building.

She took the elevator up to her floor, only realising when the doors closed and she saw a blur of her reflection that she was still wearing Jake’s jacket. It was too late to go after him now, she’ll probably see him tomorrow and if not tomorrow then Monday at the latest to give it back to him.

Once in her dorm she sighed heavily, ready to take her makeup off and put on comfy pyjamas as the exhaustion began to weigh down on her. She got unready as quick as she could, hanging Jake’s jacket over the back of her desk chair, and climbed into bed.

When she was comfy she got her phone off the bedside table to check her messages one last time before what she predicted would be at least a 10 hour sleep.

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[01:28am, Sunday]

Queen G: ugh some guys started to yell at each other Queen G: rosa and i made a quick getaway

-

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[01:32am, Sunday]

Cameron: I assume you made it back to your dorm alright?

Ferris: i was brutally murdered as soon as u went into ur building actually

Cameron: Damn… Cameron: Now who will I annihilate at beer pong..

Ferris: IM DEAD AND UR WORRIED ABOUT THAT???

Cameron: Hahahaha Cameron: Goodnight, jake

Ferris: gn ames

Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 5 | Chap 6 | Chap 7 | Chap 8 | Chap 9 | Chap 10

authors note: EEEK!! I am excited on their behalf because w h a t will amy be thinking tomorrow???? i sure hope these dummies start to figure it out soon mwahaha

Thanks as always for reading, next chap will be out whenever I can get it out <3

[ikram1909]

For that anon who asked how spanish school system work:

Kindergarden (not mandatory) from 0 to 6

Primary school (6-12) and its mandatory

Middle school or what we call it ESO (12-15) (educación secundaria obligatoria, it mandatory)

Now its when things get a little bit complicarte, because after finishing ESO its not mandatory to attend school anymore bc it means you pasaed the minimum demanded for your education and you can start applying for a job (yeah even if its hard).

But almost everyone either choose Bachillerato (highschool, from 16-18) which are 2 years but you have to work your ass off, especially the second year which causes a lot of stress due the "Selectividad" (exams to apply for a uni). My experience? After finishing it it feels like you are free abut you still hold the trauma, its pretty common that people eirher leaves highschool for another thing bc its too much. People often choose Bachillerato because its the direct way to go to Uni. Also they divide it in art, sciencie (bio or tech), humanistic (if you choose latin or greek) and social (economics, applied maths for the social sciences, even though the last two can be overlapped bc i did both latin and economics). So yeah, its not like a normal highschool bc depending on what you choose, there are some subjects you will never be able to do, in my case i havent touched maths for 2 years lol. They do this bc you have to choose the subjects that will help you for the degree you want to study and gain "points" once you do the uni exams (it varies on what you want to study, for example i needed economics snd latin to make my mark higher to enter the uni i wanted)

And algonside bachillerato, there are FP/ciclos which in english it would translated to "vocational training". These are two years and then you can do a "grado superior" which are another 2 years, in total 4 (thats why people prefer bachillerato bc less years). After completing four years you can also go to Uni without having to do uni exams. The advantadge of FP is that you are more in contact with workplace and labour market, means you can start doing practices in what you are studying for (for example, if you are dling an FP of administration, you can go to do your practices in a company) With an FP you have a diploma of whatever you did and start working, meanwhile with bachillerato you cant do shit with that diploma and if you want to work of that degree you want you have to complete Uni first (or going to a grado superior after completing the second year). In bachillerato you are just studying hard, FP is more flexible and allows you to be in contact with labour. For what Cubarsí said about what he wants to study, i guess he is doing the social bachillerato. And for Lamine i think he quiet after finishing ESO and is doing FP, i think Gavi is doing a FP too but i dont know if the source is believable. Fermín is at uni

So our middle school are 4 years and our highschool are 2 years, sorry for the info dump but i wanted to explain why is it different and also im forgetting a lot of things bc believe me, this system is really complex and there are lots of ways to go to uni or start working 😭😭 here is an image where is kind of complet https://safasi.com/organigrama-del-sistema-educativo-espanol/

That explains it yeah thank you for going in depth into it ❤️❤️❤️

[ajahahahah]

Im gonna be 17 in four days i dont know if i should kill myself or not i have tried to find love for years but my mom was in the military and i dated did everything you should but once you move they are gone specially when you only know em for two years now i barely have any friends i just moved here because my mom wanted to be closer to family and i have no one i really wanna kill myself but i know if i do either i wont exist anymore i wont even comprehend existence i will go to hell cause i know im shitty person or the other ending where you exist but dont i hate myself i hate who ive become i hate what ive done i wanna die for it but no one know anything of what ive done how ive acted how i am who i am im just a husk a lier a non empathetic bastard i hate myself i hate everything i am id take pretty much anyone to date anyone to help me have a single reason not to die but that isnt happening because people who are easy to date quick to break even easier so im here alone in my room unable to sleep permanently thinking wanting to die unable to pick up the rope unable to pick up my knifes unable to change what i did in the past i wanna die because of that i dont know how long im gonna last maybe ill get past college realize my dream job was a sham work as a firewatch realize i cant be alone work as some stripper just for money realize im ugly fat a loser work my quote un quote dream job and wish i was dead everyday unable to find someone to love someone to care for someone who i can hug kiss anything and ill commit truly finally free from the stresses of life i wish i could do that now but i cant im unable to i cant risk it i have two more good years then im dead because after that ill be throw out like my brother hated silently people worried about but not caring enough to check until its too late i know I’m an idiot for writing this but im screaming into a relentless void which no one will ever see so i will use this to post pone my demise a day a year a decade who know next time i write one of these thats how you'll know after im privileged i got hit by two cars can walk im alive my mom is well off so i shouldnt be depressed why should on the surface i have great parents not many family members have died not many direct family have died either so why am i sad i dont know im unable to say when insay i wanna die i dont know why its a mixture my body my social life my hatred towards me not studying and playings game that help short term but long term no i hate that i waste my time doing this i hate my self because all im doing is screaming and accusing and being stupid and annoying angry all i do is complain while i should just accept my death or just keep going till i do

[terraliensvent]

I'm a person whose application was canceled because of "art from four years ago". The art is actually 3.5 years old, it's not a big discrepancy, but I recently checked how long ago the art was actually made.

I'm paranoid now and I feel like everyone quietly hates me. Sorry, I have fears of becoming hated and I would deal with them if this case.

I'd like to point out that Staff doesn't consider that art to be a problem anymore since I deleted it and no longer associate it with me and my arts, but I would prefer to know in advance that I will be studied and what exactly will be studied.

I have applied as an artist about four times. Twice as a permanent artist, once as a guest artist, and once as a guest artist, but on a free basis. I think I've been rejected all four times because of this art. In fact, I feel like I'm hated by the entire terraliens staff, and it's due to my paranoia about this very incident. I convince myself it's not true, but I'm still scared.

But I really wish this whole situation had been discussed with me before I was rejected four times, so that I could have at least had a chance at the last set. The person I contacted for clarification about my application called my application really strong so I'm still confused because I loved the species and wanted to help as much as I could.

I think I am also going to leave this species because it has caused me a lot of problems. I want to stop putting myself under so much stress and watch from the sidelines rather than brewing.

I feel like I'm burning bridges and I don't like it. But even if this post ruins my future like that art I don't think I care anymore.

post related

yeah, the biggest problem to me is that the "background check" was just never disclosed

im sorry its caused you so much fear anon, if you dont feel happy in terras you should absolutely leave. it can be upsetting to feel persecuted over actions you have changed from and no longer associate with

[forgotten-daydreamer]

Hey I saw the post about the cigs and I don't know how comforting this is going to be but setbacks happen. Recovery ain't always linear and that's ok. I'm not a smoker, but I'm almost a year self harm free and I completely get how much harder it is to not give up after you fall back into it.

Being in a bad situation doesn't make you a bad person. Nor does reaching your limit. Considering the fucked up situation Italian government is in, it's already stressful in general.

I'm rooting for you 💪

i havent been self harm free in like months at this point - full blown alcoholic and all (but i am working on it, i swear). but yeah i mean, i dont like wasting money that im eorking hard for, for shit like cigs and alcohol. i genuinely don't. i feel so dumb bc i'm working like a bastard for money and im also studying to earn another scholarship so i should know better but i just... i've been thinking "i need a good smoke" for like a week and i gave in today. i feel so shitty. i took 2 showers, washed my hair twice, brushed my teeth and flossed and used mouthwash like four fucking times, and i still smell it, still feel it. i hate it. i feel so stupid. therapy isnt working and my life is a disaster and um a bad friend and it all sucks. and yes, the fact that this world fucking scares me, not unironically - i'm fucking terrified, every day i read of people dying and every day i want to kill myself because it all hurts so much and i feel useless and dumg complaining about dumb shit when people are out there being slaughtered, and i now live in a dictatorship so nothing makes sense and im genuinely scared that one of these days someone is gonna kill my unimates and i right outside uni because the police there is heavily armed and they dont care about beating unarmed young adults. i hate it all. i hate living this life - had i been x10 richer or smth like that, it wouldn't have changed. being here in this life and knowing whats going on in the world and in my country and with me within myself is enough to send me spiraling as soon as i wake up - provided that i manage to catch some sleep. i hate it all. i'm also aware i'm manic rn and my therapist said so too but i always feel like this and i want it to stop. i want to make one good decision in my fucking life. sorry for the yapping im genuinely desperate. thank you so much for the lovely words and im also super happy that youre doing good.

[midnightmisadventures]

Okay heres the dream

The first thing i remember is being on a campus of sorts. With the basement girls, it was warm, it was summery, i felt pretty, truly just my dream. Very good sunny, playful “i love being alive” vibes. 

We were passing through this baseball field that players were practicing at. And as we’re passing claire points out like omg that was Liam and......i genuinely think arod?? in the dugout but not as a celebrity just someone we knew of who played baseball. Which is embarrassing bc i was just looking at 90s pictures of derek jeter and arod. 

anyway, we were like omg in a nervous way, like i was nervous and overthinking but we’re scurrying along and the ball which is more like a kickball or soccer ball comes directly towards me. And im like “bro of course” like i dont wanna embarrass myself or get hit by the ball. So it comes towards me, and its apparent i have to hit it in their direction so i do and as i do Liam shouts “hit it, stab it” and i shout back “i did” and it was nervewracking so we jogged away

“Your probably wondering why i said "someone play with love by harbor"

hahahha okay so next, we were on a bus?? Ive been on the school bus a lot in dreams lately. And....it was like we were going to school, to see that same play from my last dream type beat. I actually dont really know the contrext. But basically we loaded the bus, Liam was within the group. I wasnt sure if we were friends friends yet or i guess again. But i sat in the seat across from him and i realized my black and white flannel was there from the last time i was on the bus. And i was shocked and mad at myself for leaving it. So i was showing him like “omg, im such an idiot i can’t believe i left this here??” and he was so soft and so sweet and said “aw im sorry :(” and i was like “no its fine, i mean i found it thats good” and then he put out his arm and said he’d put it in his bag for safe keeping or something, and i was like “omg really?” and he said “yea of course” 

And i know that doesnt seem like much. But ive studied this kid to no end, i KNOW when he’s being genuine and soft and boyfriendy and how he expresses his affection when he cares. He just gets this protective aura and it was so cute because it felt like HIM. Ya know, like that was Liam, not just a dream, i felt it was him and i was taken aback because....well he hasnt been that soft towards me in a year. 

So then things escalated just naturally and we were spending more time together just in our regular actions. ‘

We were with this other couple. So it was four of us and it was def couple vibes for each pair. And they were like omg, like lets go to the car we’re gonna smoke you up? Or like they just invited us somewhere and told us to follow them and we didnt know it was for smoking yet. 

So they went first and we see them in the car smoking and liam and i were walking and i kinda looked at him like “are...you gonna smoke?” cause i know he’s not right now. I wasnt sure. 

I get into the backseat, and he opens the door on his side and....it was weird there like wasnt a lot of space so he was trying to move the seat up. And he was struggling with it so then he just gave up and poked his head in the car and said, “hey, you guys go on without me i’ll see you guys later” and he shut the door and went back inside. And i was so pouty, like awwww i don’t even care about smoking with these strangers i just want to hang out with him and be around him :( 

So immediately i knew i was just gonna try to take a few puffs and leave cause i didnt want him to think id rather be there then spend time with him. I literally said while holding the blunt like “thank you guys sm for the free weed but i just realized i kinda have to go too, so i have to leave in a few minutes”

I also knew that a few hits would get me super high and i didnt want to go back to Liam suuuper messy like without my wits. But the moment was cute. I left the car to try to find him. 

At this point we’re attached at the hip, being he’s being so sweet and soft im in love. I feel lucky, we never talked but i didnt care, i just felt so attracted to him and that everything i had wished for was finally coming true. 

In the car to go see sleeping beauty re rendered. I was thinking wow i always did dream about movie theaters maybe this is why it was significant. I;m on my way to a movie with liam rn

We were at this pavillion getting food in the plaza of the movie and the bball game. I saved Liam a seat and felt like a girlfriend. I was so excited to sit with him. So i got my plate with a friend i don’t know in real life?? 

He came over and i was pointing to the chair across from me, and he reached out and grabbed my had and started carressing it, looked me in the eye and said “bubba, im gonna go with the boys to get my seat” or something just to let me know he’s leaving. And i was so upset haha, we’re still rubbing our hands btw and im like “youre leaving?? what” pouting bc i was so excited to eat? dinner? with him? idk. 

And he explained like “yea the games gonna start soon and its gonna be packed we want seats” and for some reason i didnt realize the game and the movie overlapped so i was sad that we had to split up, bc for some reason i was tied to this movie with the girl. 

So i’m like “okay :( yea, i’ll see you later then at the game” and he was like yea 

Still holding my hand, and then he asked “have you eaten enough today, what have you eaten?” so soft and sweet like, i cant get it using words. I was melting it was so adorable. And i listed two things which was like a bagel and something else but it was early in the day so i said “not bad?” also considering i had a plate of food in front of me. 

And then when he approved lmao he said okay, and let my hand go and started walking away. But then i said "wait what about you?? Have you eaten today? Theres food here you can grab quick b4 you leave" and he just said, nah hes good. And went on and as soon as he went out of view me and the rando friend were like AHHHHH

Like i was freaking out just cause we had escalated so quickly and it made my heart so full but it was so new and unexpected and completely led by him so i hadnt had much time to process like mans just called me BUBBA AND KISSED MY HAND? IN A CUTE WAY THAT DIDNT MAKE ME CRINGE OR GET AN ICK

What

So me and the girl are laughing while i put my head in my hands and the first thing i said was "what do i DO about that holy shit"

And then i was basically spilling to her and saying i never get to talk about this with anyone like that was so insane and NOT precedented like i did not expect him to be caring enough about me to check if i ate. And even in our loviest times he was never so confident to show me affection in public (or anywhere)

And she was like omg im so excited i get to hear all the tea first, lets TALK

And i was like yea.... Well its cause youre not as close to the situation as *cough cough* bff is

Whatever.

Then apparently liam was hanging with angel from highschool and the girl new him and was texting him funny things and started talking about me to him just saying whatever idk

And i was like noooo wait thats so weird cause i know angel like.....so its weird. And she was so shocked like YOU KNOW ANGEL THATS CRAZY and starts texting him bunch and was about to shout to him "ANGEL ARIELLE JUST TOLD ME SHE KNOWS YOU-" before they walked too far away

And i know hes with liam and i dont want Liam to think that im talking about, or thinking about his friend. Because i know how jealous he is, and yea we werent dating but it would be like a slap in the face since he just kissed my hand and is putting in all this effort to be my protector

So i was like NOOOOOOO stop dont do that please please, Liam will literally kill himself dont

And i know it sounds crazy to try to block that interaction when it didnt mean anything just that i knew a guy 6 years ago

But one, yea Liam IS crazy lmao and two it made me have this weird wave of feelings in the dream on what it means to be a unit and being mindful of how single you appear to others and.....i know it sounds stupid, but i was just realizing ive never been a girlfriend ive never belonged to anyone and its something i have to be cognizant of

Theres was more. But im lazy and sad. Im having a depressive episode. Swipe up to the future cause this is an edit.

But anyway i think thats my point is that Liam came to visit me and was being sweet cause ive been down and unbelieving. Which is cute bc i know i set intention to do that for him when i can feel his energy is down

Also ive never ONCE thought about Angel for prob 7 years lmao i dont think that was a random dream character i think it was an....Angel

[slaygentford]

say someone was raised in an unstable situation like say dean winchester and is 26 years old (like dean winchester) with a mediocre academic track record and doesn’t know where to begin with getting a degree (like dean winchester in the poetry au fic) what would your advice be to them? i admire your academic achievements so much and you talk about it in such a way that makes me feel very tenderly about higher ed but college is terrifying and alienating and i would really respect your perspective on this i hope the dean winchester references appeal to you bless

sorry this took me like four days or something to get to I was in grading hell and soon will be back in grading hell. firstly. its okay! IT IS GOING TO BE OKAY. look in my eyes. it's going to be okay. I almost flunked out of high school. literally thought id never even go to college at several points. thats the first thing. elaborating on that point. it will be okay because as you have intuited evidenced by this ask, EVERYTHING IS A SKILL! and you know that cuz you asked for skills. so you just have to build up skills. third the skills are: it sounds like you're applying or thinking about applying so I'm going to go off that. correct me if I'm wrong.

1) beef up what you currently dont have. all schools if they are good take on adult students. some dont require sats, but the SAT is more useful than the ACT, AND will beef up your transcript if its mediocre. get the Kaplan book and work through it. this is just an idea because due to, you guessed it, unstable situation, I didn't actually take the SAT. but, you know. it seems the place to start. also might get you back into the swing of studying and testing

2) I dont know how you're defining "mediocre" -- I got into a good public school with a 20-something on my act (24? don't remember. 70th percentile or something.) and at least one D. I think two actually. this leads to two lessons:

a: Aim high when applying -- have safety options and also "higher" options. might be surprised at the result. and,

b: I know why I got in and it's because I wrote a really good personal statement. hone the personal statement!!! rewrite it a few times. get other people to read it. for the letters of rec, think creatively, if you dont have teachers you think would be useful to ask. these are two things which can really, really make up for meh grades (if they're legitimately meh in the first place). make up for what's meh by making everything else as good as you possibly can. you can't change the past but you CAN make everything else really fucking interesting.

3) if you don't get in somewhere, YOU CAN TRANSFER OUT OF COMMUNITY COLLEGE! USUALLY! which is why this was my plan b. so what you do is you find out if your CC has any kind of sister program with a state school in your area. you go there. you get good grades and go to office hours. you either apply to transfer to your state school, or you earn your associate's and then apply for a BA at your state school. this is usually pretty much guaranteed to get you into that university, even though it's a slightly longer route. (5 years-ish instead of four, plus the grit it takes)

when youre there, the way to not feel alienated in college is to talk to people in college. I hate talking to my peers so I lived at office hours. you are not annoying them!!! trust me. you know what I do during office hours. I sit there watching my free met subscription through the library and play beatstar on my phone. ASK FOR HELP when you don't get something. show that you want to learn by being engaged. it doesn't matter if you're "smart" or have "meh grades." it matters that you show up and chase knowledge, even when it's tiring

[mwagneto]

i'm in the process of learning hungarian, and i was wondering if you had any resources you usually recommend or tips? i've been using duolingo for the very basics and making vocabulary lists for memorization but i know that won't be enough for a full grasp of the language, especially with, gestures at hungarian conjugation vaguely. i'm dating a native hungarian speaker so i'll be able to practice it fairly regularly but i'd like to have a grasp of the basics so that i can understand a bit before i start immersing. thank you so much! :D

OH SHIT THAT'S GREAT!!! well first of all. christ. good luck. we literally have to take intense grammar classes for 12 years just to get it and some people still don't it is. a LOT lmao

second of all uhhh I usually recommed people watch dubbed cartoons like peppa pig for the very very basics but that's rly more helping out, i dont really know any good online programs tbh, my main recommendation is to combine sources so duolingo (which. isnt that good for hungarian ngl coz it just teaches you phrases but absolutely Nothing abt the grammar such as the four different versions of "you" etc) + youtube videos + online tutorials + the main thing which is LANGUAGE BOOKS. preferably ones that start at the verrrry basics. like ik everything is online nowadays and I've only ever learned languages by like. orbiting around them until i was fluent so I don't habe much experience Actually studying but language books are sooo useful and usually very well put together, we have a thing called the Library of foreign books in budapest that has a shit ton of them, so maybe try looking around your area to see if you can find anything like that, or just buy a few for yourself?

the main thing I'd start with is the alphabet and how each letter is pronounced (which is where stuff like youtube comes in) tbh like. we have wayyyy more letters than english but we're phonetically consistent so getting the hang of oóöő and shit like gy and ty and dzs etc will make your life a dozen times easier

as for the grammar it's. really really really complicated BUT !! the good news is that it's Very organised and once you get the hang of the rules (which. again we need 12 yrs of grammar classes to do) it'll be way easier

another thing is don't be afraid to mess up!! it's better to say stuff even if you're wrong than to not say anything. hungarians will literally give you all the money they have amd a big fat kiss if you even just say kurva, noone minds grammar mistakes, we love anyone who even attempts this language

also uhmmm if you ever have any questions feel free to ask me i fucking love grammar lol

ps you'll want books that detail grammar rules and have little charts like these

[burnedbyshoto]

matryoshka doll

— Momo is a modern day princess, so it makes sense as to why every single person she’s asked if they wanted to have sex reject her because they felt unworthy. But she’s a girl with carnal needs and if that means having anonymous sex is the only way to have them met, so be it.

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pairing: yaoyorozu momo x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, stuck in a wall, anal fisting (giving), fingering, marking, degradation, daddy kink!reader, princess!momo, praise, pwp, cursing, service top!reader, phat ass!momo

word count: 3,333

a/n: i stayed up until 4 am reading bkdk angst fanfic and im so, so tired...... momo has a phat ass that is full of stretch marks and cellulite and I drool at the thought of it. no I dont take any feedback on that.

kinktober day 9 main kink: anonymous sex | kinktober masterlist

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Momo has a secret.

A deep, dark, twisted secret.

It wasn’t so much that it was horrible, humiliating, or even a nuisance for all of humanity, but it definitely was a secret she was keen on keeping until she was six feet under.

Why was that?

Oh, well, you see, it involved one of the most taboo topics in the world: sex.

Yaoyorozu Momo lived a sheltered, elite life. At the tender age of four, she had managed to create an object by replicating a Matryoshka doll's exact molecular structure. She didn’t need to assume that most individuals couldn't compose the doll's molecular structure regardless of their intellect or education. Yet, with a determined gaze, her person and mind no much older than four years old, she succeeded in producing a single, lone, beautiful Matryoshka doll.

But, because of her natural-born intelligence and near-prodigious level thinking, the wealth that her parents held led her to a life where something such as a peck on the cheek was considered scandalous. 

Kissing on the lips was considered a "marriage only" rule, and sex wasn’t even a word she knew.

Middle school for Yaoyorozu Momo consisted of her and her private tutors within her home. Her education was created just for her, and she had evening outings with her similar circles to ensure she had an appropriate social life. All in all, Momo didn’t know what sex was until she was sixteen, sitting in the common area of the dorm room with all her female friends who casually brought up the idea of what they could potentially be into, of who they would. Momo would quote: fuck, marry, or kill of three randomly generated boys within the class.

Of course, Momo’s eyes fluttered at the word fuck, having already known it as a curse word, and only as such as Bakugou always seemed to be yelling it. She had wrongfully spluttered when Mina had wiggled her eyebrows at Uraraka on why, oh why she had only chosen to ‘fuck Midoriya’ and not marry him. To Momo, who also at the time, was aware of her current blossoming feelings towards the smart but somewhat flutter tongued classmate of theirs, had been rather confused at the results Uraraka gave too.

“Kill… uh, Iida-kun,” Urakaka fidgeted, blushing harder under the intense stares of Mina and Hagakure (who had a mean glare despite not being able to see her). “Fuck Deku-kun, marry Todoroki-kun!”

Momo had assumed she would wish to marry her at the time crush, not choose the option to curse him out!

“Uraraka-san, you wish to cuss out Midoriya-san?” Momo had asked, saving the naturally rosy girl from their pink-skinned and invisible friend. “Why is that?”

“Hold on?” Jirou interrupted immediately, Momo’s undoubtedly closest friend rose from her slouched position next to her, her hand placed on her shoulder. “What was that?!”

“Well, isn’t the, ahem, please excuse my vulgar words, ‘fuck,’ option meaning to curse someone out? As Bakugou-san does to many people when he uses that word?” Momo had asked so innocently, so purely that the girls all almost felt horrible for popping the innocent bubble the modern-day princess was in -- keyword: almost.

For the first time in her life, Yaoyorozu Momo was not the most knowledgable in a subject; her cheeks stained red with embarrassing heat when Tsuyu took charge of explaining the alternate definition to what ‘fuck’ meant. 

“You mean babies don’t come in storks?!” she had cried uncontrollably that night. She was utterly overwhelmed by this new level of information that would send her in a spiral of the need to acquire further details for the sake of education and, well, yes, the science of fucking.

From the moment she was sixteen until she was twenty, Momo’s knowledge of sex went from being the lowest in the class, to as it naturally should have been, the most knowledgable person on it. She knew of things, the different branches of sex, where to experience certain types of kinks, and theoretically, where the human body's best parts to touch when having sex. So, the moment she had turned of consenting legal age to have sex, Momo would be lying if she said she wasn’t ready to have sex. 

But there was something in her way, something that not even years of studying could help her with, or could change the circumstances of which she found herself in. It seemed that though her friends enjoyed her sudden new-found genius towards the art and science behind sex, no one thought of her as a… sexual being.

“I c-can’t have sex with you!” Jirou had flushed red, her eyes scattering to every edge of the room, refusing to look at the wealthy heiress who had asked her best friend over during their last week of high school to do the deed. “You’re the modern-day royalty: Yaoyorozu Momo! I’m not… qualified enough!”

Momo frowned, “Oh?”

.

..

.

“Sex?” Todoroki had echoed, his eyes alarming wide despite his composed, neutral expression. Momo nodded her head, ignoring the small wisp of fire that emitted from his hair. “Oh, well, I don’t think I can do that for you, Yaoyorozu. It’s nothing against you, but I don’t think I’d like to have meaningless sex with you for the first time.”

Momo winced, “Oh, okay.”

“That sounded a lot meaner then intended, I apologize.”

.

..

…

..

.

And that’s how it seemed to go.

Aoyama hadn’t been interested in having sex at all with Momo. Mina said she was severely unworthy. Tsuyu simply rejected her because their relationship wasn’t one that had possibilities of sexual encounters. Iida said it would be irresponsible of him to take something of value of hers. Uraraka cried about how inferior scum like her had no right.

Ojiro apologized, having been in a relationship at the moment and wouldn’t. Kaminari said him sexually touching Momo would give the world every right to skin him where he lay. Kirishima had blushed brighter than his hair and stammered; he couldn’t without a proper relationship between the two of them. Kouda had run off crying. Sato had mumbled about how he enjoyed setting tea and pastries together but couldn’t imagine putting his tea in and on her pastry, or some weird allusion like that.

Shoji had bowed his head in apologies, saying she would regret sleeping with him. Sero had run away, crashing into a glass door explaining he wasn’t good enough. Tokoyami stated they weren’t a fated pair and rejected her kindly -- she thinks. Hagakure was in a relationship and politely declined her. Bakugou scoffed and told her to look elsewhere. Midoriya had stammered and suggested that he wasn’t the best option. Mineta just was never an option for her.

She had asked eighteen people who had all told her they would help her with anything, and the only thing that kept being thrown back into her face regarding something that she didn’t see to be anything that special was that she was royalty in their eyes. It was fine at first; honestly, it was! Momo had nodded her head, merely retreating to her home and creating an arrangement of sex toys most suited for her. And for a while, it had been enough.

But like the Matryoshka dolls, she was so fond of making, so good at making, she had several layers underneath that shouldn’t be ignored. And her sexual pleasures and gains had been a neglected part of her for too long. 

From having the longest, thickest dildo she could make for herself, up her cunt, to the vibrator and fuck machines she should create (because she was not allowed anywhere near a sex shop), she had been blissful. Each orgasm ripping through her pleasantly, causing her sweaty chest to arch off her bed, her legs slamming closed as it burst from inside of her, causing her to bit harshly on her fist just in case. But just as even playing with your favorite game day after day, feeling alone, lonely, and unwanted, Momo found that even her toys weren’t enough.

She needed more.

No one would fuck her because of her status, because of her last name and the wealth that she brought, so she decided that if she was to do this, to gain the human touch she ever so desired and lusted over, she was going to have to erase her identity.

She had found a little place in the back alleys of Tokyo. They were hiring anyone who dared to visit and the only requirement to join was that you were willing to be fucked. Momo had shown up for the interview, face obscured by a hoodie she wore and was hired the moment she walked in with her spandex shorts hugging her tiny waist and fat ass. She had always seen places like this within her porn research but had never actually assumed fuck ho(l)es existed. 

She certainly didn’t expect to be put in a wall where only her ass and cunt hanging out and the cold, wet tip of a sharpie marker to write against her clear virgin skin: FREE HOLE TO FUCK. VIRGIN LITTLE WHORE. She could feel that written on her skin, but she was unaware of the words that surrounded her placement on the wall: “put a tally and a review for every pump of cum you shove in me!”

There was no need for a picture by her whole because the people who frequented this place had no desires of that, and so, Momo found peace even as the starting alarm blared in her ear that customers were finally being let it.

To sum up the experience her first night at this joint, the first time experiencing a hot, living, throbbing cock in both her cunt and ass, Momo would have to blush. Her eyes shifting from yours onto the floor as she smiled. A chuckle on her face as she thought back to the end of that four hour fuck feast and remembered that there were nearly eighty-three tally marks on her bruised and blistered ass, of how her cum and all that cum continued to seep from her clenching holes for two days afterward… she loved it.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

You needed to blow off some steam.

Having just been entirely, horribly dumped by your ex and having precisely zero side pieces on the side to fuck, you went out of your way to secure a quick, easy fuck to get your mind off of things. There was no reason for you to simply not join Tinder and ask the first swipe to come over and fuck, but you didn’t want to see a face. You didn’t even want to know their face. As a matter of fact, you weren’t even so much as interested in your own orgasm at the moment than just making someone else cum. So when a pretty woman handed your glowering face a flyer as you were storming around the streets of Tokyo hoping for a sign from god, you almost cried at what the flyer informed you of.

A local... hole in the wall filled with glory holes and exposed asses, cunts, and cocks alike. 

Was it destiny?

You sure believed so as you found yourself tailing to the obscure address, praying for the establishment to be open and, for the most part, empty because you had no plans on performing shit in front of watching eyes. Handing a thousand yen over to the admissions lady as your fee to the use of their prized cunts, cocks, and asses, you shoved the black ticket into your pocket and brisked in.

As you entered the back room, the tension in you back and pressure on your chest seemed to melt away immediately at the scent of sex, dried cum, and sweat. It was an altogether horrid stench, to be quite honest, but right now, it sent fire to your core, your lips licking at the walls and corners willed with awaiting to be attended to people. Twisted pleasure coursed through your veins as you walked around, your eyes taking note of the graffitied words around the individual holes, taking note of the black sharpie words on bruised and battered skin, and some cunts still dripping with someone else’s cum.

‘Loose cunt’ one person had.

‘Hasn’t been broken in yet,’ said another.

‘Loves it when you ‘accidentally’ fuck their ass,’ scrawled on another.

 You couldn’t help but smile at the twisted humor, moving until finally, you saw one that exposed ass first to the world, eight tallies marked on her skin, and oh, the words painted on her smooth, perfect skin and the surrounding walls pulled you in.

‘Tightest fucking pussy.’ ‘100/10 recommended, been back multiple times for more.’ ‘Slip your fist up her ass, she LOVES it.’ ‘Favorite fucking whore here.’ ‘Would fuck again.’ ‘Slut likes it rough and mean.’ ‘Please fuck me!!!!’

You watched as the shiny slick of her cum slowly seep from her spread cheeks, not quite dripping, but definitely wet with her arousal. Something was calling you to her, your feet stumbling nearly tipsy with this outworld lust and drunkenness as you stopped behind her slapped pink ass. And without much need of thought to wonder where to stop, your hands found themselves grabbing her thick, supple ass and you moaned at the warmth emitting from her skin, of how her skin was so soft, so moveable, so bouncy. It was larger than your hands, your fingernails running against the cellulite, and stretch marks on her ass that made you want to kiss and run your tongue against even more. You couldn’t hear her, you couldn’t possibly know if she had liked the way your fingers dug into her ass, but her ass bounced, teetering with your grip as you could imagine a soft, juicy moan. 

“I wonder if you can hear me?” you asked, most likely to no one, fingers spreading her ass, spanking the used whorish skin of hers so that small, tight, clenching pink asshole was on full display for you. “If you sit there for all these hours and listen to men fuck you with their ugly moaning and pathetic growling.”

Her ass rolled in your hands, and you smiled, taking that as a sign that yes, she heard everything, even you. Raising your hand to the bottle of lube, you saturated your fingers with the cold, transparent liquid, turning your fingers down over her still exposed, flush hole. You watched as the lube dripped down, splattering messily around her tight, rimmed muscle, watching her clench and unclench the muscle in alarming beauty.

“I must apologize, princess,” you sighed, looking at the names scrawled on the walls that this cunt and ass seemed to be most responsive to, and number one on that list was princess. “Your daddy isn’t feeling particularly rough today, so I hope you’ll behave with my softer movements.”

You're not quite sure where the reference to yourself as daddy had come from, but the way the ass muscles clenched between the lone hand that held her cheek made it worth it. 

Your lube coated finger edged the pert opening of her ass, feeling the way the already used muscle expanded for your finger if a little stubbornly.

“Relax, princess, daddy sees you like being fisted, so I’m going to make sure you feel good. 

You pressed your finger in until the knuckle disappeared beneath the muscle, your grin growing into a hazy, lustful gaze when you felt her ass bounce. This moan vibrated all the way to her anal cavity as you wasted no time in adding a second finger. Her ass was tight, the ribbed walls of the cavity bumping and gliding against your moving fingers, and you grinned when she loudly moaned. You didn’t need to be an expert to see that she had never been fucked softly or thoroughly before. She must have been used to the terrible, animalistic rage that the men here possessed when fucking these people behind the walls. If you didn’t know any better, you would assume that she lost her virginity here. 

Your fingers curled, stroking and persuading her body to ripple and twitch with your commanding movements, and another finger added in, and another finger added in. Soon enough, you had four fingers in, all save your thumb. The stretch of her ass around your nearly formed ass was incredible; she took you so well, not a sound of agonizing pain was heard through the wall, although you swore you heard sounds of elation. The damn slut did enjoy it.

Your thumb pressed to her cunt, rubbing the slick folds of her pussy, softly fucking the outermost part of her inner walls, much against her approval if the way he ass bounced heavily in need had anything to say about it. 

“Ah, does the princess, not like this?” you asked, your hand that was currently not four fingers into her ass stretching out her cheeks even further as finally you retracted your hand out, made a fist, and sunk back in. Now there was a scream. But the way that it shot curling ravenous fires into your core, you knew it wasn’t one of horror or pain. No. It was one of absolute, slutty pleasure. You moaned at the sound, your arm beginning to thrust into her ass slowly, intentionally, and with burning passion and desire to hear her wail again. She sounded so pretty, sounded so slutty.

Your now free hand moved to her cunt, your mind trying to stimulate her more, trying to ignore the way her ass was hot and deliciously tight around your forearm as your pinched and rolled at her clit. Your thumb stayed on her clit, but your fingers stretched to enter her clenching cunt that seemed to be in synch with her ass. YOu moaned in content at the feeling of her inner walls suctioning against your intruding finger, and you laughed upon feeling your moving arm within her ass against her cunt. And that beautiful, pitchy whine resonated deeply again, and your mind melted.

Your fingers and fist doubled in speed, the growing sharp moans through the walls fueling you to move faster, to be rougher, to make her see stars. No wonder why no one fucked her with love here, you thought as leaned down, teeth tearing against her ass cheek that read: mark me, please. Who could stay composed when this fucking slut was this goddamn loud.

“Such a good fucking princess, so slutty, so nice for your daddy,” you grunted,  against her skin, your hips snapping at air as the heat and wetness in your pants made you uncomfortable -- the need for more biting through your clothes. “You like my fist up your ass? You like everyone’s fist up your ass, don’t do? Doesn’t fucking surprise me with those stupid loud moans you make.”

Your words were hissed, your fingernails scraping against her pulsating, throbbing inner walls, and then it happened.

Her ass and her cunt clenched against your fingers and fist. And your jaw dropped as a rippling effect ran across your arm that was buried in her ass.

Was that a?

Holy fucking shit?!

“Princess, did your ass just orgasm?!”

A confirming, pathetic moan sent your mind to the moon.

Suddenly feeling as if this was too much for you, and with no way to relive yourself in this type of fuck room, you removed your hand quickly from her ass, your dominant hand grabbing the hanging sharpie on the wall and added two more tally marks on the number of times she’s cum.

You race out of there, the fire in between your legs too much to handle. Well, at least not before adding one more, important piece of information on her ass and on the wall: ‘if you fuck my ass like daddy did, maybe my ass will orgasm for you too.”

[sunnyrinusstudies]

Going FOSS: An Intro to Open-Source software for studyblr (and also some privacy related bits)

Source for Header Image

Intro & attempt at TLDR

Hey everyone! Today I’d like to tell y’all something about Open Source Software, and also Why this should matter to you! This’ll probably be the first post of a series I intend to do, because I believe the Studyblr community, even the non-nerd folks, could really benefit from switching some things out in their digital environment. Since this is a long post, I attempted to summarise it below, please do read on if you have the spoons tho!

TLDR?

FOSS stands for “Free and Open Source Software” the “free” part doesn’t necessarily mean it’s free as in free pizza, but mostly means free as in freedom.

There’s a humongous amount of variants on this concept, but the core of FOSS specifically is the four freedoms:

1. To run the program however you want and for whatever you want

2. To study how the program works and to change it in whatever way you want

3. To be able to share it with whomever you feel like

4. To be able to share your modified version with whomever you want

There’s a whole host of software licenses built around these concepts, you can check those out at the Open Source Initiative website, or at Choose A License. Both have a good summary of what they all stand for.

Open Source software is used for a lot of products, nearly every single webserver is an Apache Linux server, Google chrome is built on top of their open source chromium (google is still the devil, but y’know, it’s an example), and even deep deep down, Apple computers run on top of a Linux Kernel. Many more can be listed, but I won’t do that otherwise this isn’t a TLDR anymore.

Now, Why is this important for you? The Open Source Initiative summed it up real nicely already, but heres a short paraphrase:

Control & Security. If software is open source then you can check if it really works the way it does, and to make sure it’s not spying on you. Even if you don’t have the skills for it, someone else who does will be able to check. Also if you don’t like how something works in a program, then you’ll be able to change it or find someone else’s changed version that you like more.

Training. People who want to learn programming can use the code to see what makes programs tick, as well as use it as a guide for their own projects.

Stability. Because everything’s out in the open, that means someone else can take up maintaining a project or make a successor of it, in case the original developers suddenly quit working on it. This is especially important when it’s software that’s absolutely critical for certain tasks.

Community. It’s not just one program. It’s a lot of people working together to make, test, use, and promote a project they really love. Lots of projects end up with a dedicated fanbase that helps support the developers in continuing to work on the software.

I’d like to add one more tho: Privacy, which ties in a lot with the security part. Nowadays with protests going on and everything being online due to the pandemic, folks have been and will be confronted much more with the impact of privacy, and lack thereof. Open Source software means that if any company or group tries to spy on you, then you and anyone who feels like checking, will be able to know and take action on it. Here’s the EFF page on privacy and why it should matter to you

If that got your attention then read on past the readmore button! Or, if nothing else maybe check out the Free and Open Source Software portal on Wikipedia? Or maybe the resources page of the Open Source Initiative?

Terminology: Let’s get that out of the way first

Open Source: The source code that a program is made up of is freely accessible, anyone can look at it and check whether it works well enough or to make sure it doesn’t spy on you.

FOSS: Free and Open Source Software. This doesn’t mean that you don’t need to pay for it, it’s free as in freedom and free speech, not free pizza.

There are four freedoms associated with FOSS:

The freedom to run the program as you wish, for any purpose (freedom 0).

The freedom to study how the program works, and change it so it does your computing as you wish (freedom 1). Access to the source code is a precondition for this.

The freedom to redistribute copies so you can help others (freedom 2).

The freedom to distribute copies of your modified versions to others (freedom 3).

By doing this you can give the whole community a chance to benefit from your changes. Access to the source code is a precondition for this.

FLOSS: Free and Libre Open Source Software. This time it is “free” as in free pizza. The “libre” is french for “free” as in freedom.

GRATIS: Sometimes people use this word to mean “free” as in free pizza. Usually alongside “FOSS”

Licenses : A license is something that tells others what they can or cannot do with your code. Licenses also apply to art and literature, those are copyright licenses. There are many different software licenses and I’m not going to be able to list them all.

The biggest players however are:

Apache License 2.0

The 3-Clause BSD License

GNU General Public License (also known as GPL)

MIT License

Mozilla Public License 2.0

There’s even more and you can find a list of them Here on the Open Source Initiative site There’s so many licenses that there’s even a Choose A License site, where you can pick a license depending on what you want it to achieve

Who and/or what even uses open source software?

You don’t need to be some nerd to benefit from Open Source software, in fact, you’re using open source software right now! The biggest example is the whole entire internet. Websites are stored on servers, and nearly every single webserver is a Linux server. The second biggest browser Firefox is open source, and even google chrome is built on top of “chromium” an open source base. If you dont use an iPhone, then you’re probably on an Android phone. Guess what? Android is part of the Android Open Source Project, which is then built upon a GNU/Linux base. All Open Source. Chromebooks? Built on top of a Linux kernel (like a non-patented engine you could put into any motor vehicle you’d like). Heck, even Apple computers are, at their core, built on top of a Linux kernel.

Neat apps you may wanna check out!

I’ve made a little list of apps that might be especially useful for studyblr folks, but depending on how well this post does I’ll probably make some more posts for specific apps.

TiddlyWiki, has a bajillion different ways to organise your thoughts, and also a lot of variant builds out there. Check out their table of contents if you feel lost! There’s versions available for most big browsers, as well as windows, linux, mac, android, and iOS.

AnyType, is an app that looks and almost exactly like notion, but is much more decentralised. They’re currently still in development but if you want to support them, sign up for early access and give them some feedback so they know what works and doesn’t! They’re still in closed alpha, but are intending to give beta access to about 100 folks at a time throughout 2021, so please sign up if this looks interesting to you!

Trilium Notes, is slightly more like a “notebook”, however you can arrange your notes in nearly infinitely deep folders. You can use things like Relation Maps & Link Maps to visualise your notes and how they go together. There’s even more they do and I just cant list it all, so go check out their stuff for a more comprehensive overview! Works on windows, linux, and (unsupported) mac

LibreOffice and ONLYOFFICE are two office suites that function just as well as micro$oft office, often Even Better in my experience. I’ve used LibreOffice for years now and honestly? never going back. OnlyOffice is technically free (as in pizza), but it’s a slight hassle to get everything set up, cause you need to set it up on a server. They have a paid and hosted version available with educational discounts, but honestly i’d go with LibreOffice.

OnePile, is an app I haven’t used myself since it only runs on Apple stuff. But I’ve heard a lot of good things about it so that’s why it’s in here. It looks like it works similar to most general “note taking notebook” apps. Looks really pretty too honestly.

EtherPad, is similar to ONLYOFFICE, however this one’s a lot more focused on specifically text documents. Works with real-time collaboration which is really neat.

Anything that FramaSoft has going on. They’re a non-profit organisation, dedicated to promoting digital freedom. A lot of open source cloud related things are not really useful to people who don’t have the time and/or money to set up a whole-ass server. That’s where FramaSoft comes in, they do it for you. Just about everything they offer (here’s a full overview) are free (as in free pizza). They also have a separate site to help you get started!

It’s not free to run it all on their side, so if you find yourself interested in using their services please try to support them any way you monetarily can! (they even have a “minetest” server (not minecraft, deeeefinitely not minecraft))

Joplin!! Which is also what I used to write this post so I wouldn’t have to use The Tumble’s post writing thing. It’s good for taking notes, has a bunch of neat plug-ins, and can also sync with a variety of cloud services!

Nextcloud For if you want to go just that little bit further on the open source and the privacy. Nextcloud has honestly way too many features for me to list, but the important parts are that it’s a nigh perfect replacement for office365, and probably even GSuite. The one caveat is that you either gotta host it yourself, or get someone else to host it for you. Framasoft (mentioned above), has a nextcloud instance. It works on just about every single platform, and can integrate with an absurd amount of services. Here’s a list of providers that work with nextcloud, and what different apps they have installed on their server.

I personally use Disroot, because they’re a local (as in, my country) non-profit that offer about 2gb of free storage, and then for about 15 cents per GB per month you can get more storage if you want. They also have an email service which is hella neat. Their one main rule is Do Not Use For Business Purposes, because they’re here to help the individual folks, not companies.

Neat Links you may also want to look at!

Here are some sources, and also resources that I used for this post. There’s also some stuff here that I think folks may be interested in in general.

General Wikipedia Article on Open Source Software

The Free and Open Source Software portal on Wikipedia

Resources page of the Open Source Initiative

Free Software Foundation definition of “free software”

itsfoss page on what FOSS means

itsfoss page on the history of FOSS

Open Source Software Foundation list of projects and apps they really like

Open Source Initiative on “the open source way”, and how it goes beyond software

Check out literally anything the Electronic Frontier Foundation has going on maybe?

TED talk on privacy and why it’s important

The Surveillance Self Defense project by the EFF

This EFF page on privacy for students

ExpressVPN article on privacy (not necessarily endorsing this company, just a good article)

What’s next?

I’ll probably make some more posts on specific kinds of software that I think folks may like. Or maybe a general overview on the more privacy forcused reasons and solutions for doing all of this.

Future post ideas, none of these are set in stone:

Open source Note taking apps

Replacements for just about Every Single google service I can think of

My personal setup

Open source / privacy conscious social media that studyblr folks may be into

Chatting, Calling, Videocalling: Discord and whatsapp alternatives etc

??? More studyblr apps that could do with a FOSS alternative??

How to support open source when you’re not a big fudgin nerd

How to be better at digital privacy and security, while still maintaining that studyblr aesthetic

Apps, software, other stuff, for specific areas of study maybe?

Feel free to suggest other ideas! Or leave feedback! This is my first big resource post so I wanna know if/how I can do better when I make another one!

[justwonder113]

Hey first of all, I have to say that I adore your work. You have absolutely amazing fantasy and writing skill so I thought would u mind writing a scenario where Y/N and Iwaizumi have to break up even though they dont want it. I mean like they love each other but there are some circumstances that makes them to break up. Like I need a real angst without a happy ending.... I know I'm depressed.

First of all, thank you so much for requesting and saying all these sweet things. I would literally hug you if I saw you. Please note that you are an amazing human being and deserve all the best. Please take care of yourself. And whenever you feel like you want to talk to someone note that I'm always there for you.  I really hope you like it^^

Iwaizumi x Reader-Let's be greedy for tonight

word count"2k (my hands slipped)

WARNING: Angst, break-up themes, heartbreak, Iwa and reader break up because they have their own thing going on, pragmatic reader who's more mission oriented than emotional.. fluff if you squint

Honestly you didn't even understand how you got here. Everything was just fine few days ago. How did everything go to this? Where did everything take the wrong turn?

Just a few days ago you were comforting him because of the loss against Karasuno. You spent the whole night together just holding each other close but now.... It felt like that there was this huge gap between you and none of you knew how to get over it. This wasn't supposed to be a sad thing, both of you were supposed to be happy, wasn't this what you wanted?

You and Iwaizumi had one of the best relationships. He was the most amazing partner and companion you could ever ask for. He was the most supportive, loyal and kind person you have ever met. No wonder you fell for him even thought you were sure you wouldn't fall in love with anyone.

Honestly, you had nothing against love, but because you had set your priorities straight from the young age there was no physical room for it. You had your goals and you wanted to achieve them more than anything, you were determined to make your life as meaningful and as perfect as you could. Getting in a relationship would be nothing more than a distraction, it could ruin everything you worked so hard for up to this day and you were not willing to risk it.

Iwaizumi was on the same boat. He had his priorities straight and knew what he wanted in life and what was needed in order to achieve it. Especially now that he realized that in order to achieve his goals he needed to go to California to study. Your paths would part and there was no denying, both of you knew that long distance relationships didn't work and that it would only drag you down.

None of you planned to get in this relationship, both of you knew that this was inevitable. Both of you knew that you two were not meant to be.But why did it hurt so much? You knew that you would have to eventually break up with him, why did it hurt so much knowing that you could no longer see him, talk to him and hold him and be held by him?! Why did it hurt so much knowing that you would no longer have a chance to just be free with him? Why did he have to become your anchor? Why did he have to make you feel so good about everything?

You would never even think that you two would date. At first you were intimidated by him, he looked kind of hot headed and rough so you thought it would be better to avoid him. But as the time went by you got to know him more and more and started to respect him more and more. What was there not to respect and like? He was on top of everything and instead of being rough and all he was in fact really polite and a very caring person.

You got to know him more and more when you had to sit next to him after his seatmate asked to trade places with him because he couldn't see board well and you agreed. You rarely talked but you were on good grounds with him.

Your friendship deepened when he saw that you were having trouble understanding one of the subjects and spent most of his free time helping you understand it, you were sure he would stay for more but his friend, Oikawa interrupted you saying he had to come to practice. When Oikawa saw you he immediately bombarded you with all kinds of questions. You didn't get why got him interested but didn't say anything and tried to answer his questions, that day you got invited to attend one of their practices. Iwaizumi tried to explain that if you decided that you didn't want to it would be completely fine but you promised you would attend one of their practices for sure. Both of the boys smiled at you sweetly and them said their goodbyes. You didn't even know why you agreed, you just answered without even thinking.

Thinking about it the day you actually went and saw one of their practices may have been the day you started to see him in different light. They had a practice match against some college team, the game was so captivating you couldn't look away. And both Iwaizumi and Oikawa were so amazing! The whole team was really good but you didn't really know any other playing members, though some of the faces were familiar. You were sure that they were going to win but suddenly Oikawa's apparently injured knee started acting up, Iwaizumi was immediately by his side, you hadn't even noticed if anything was different but it certainly didn't pass by Iwaizumi's eyes. You were amazed that he saw the slightest change in his friend's demeanor and immediately called out to him. He helped him out of the court and bought to him water and cooling pads. You were watching with astonishment written all over your face.

Since that day you started talking to him more and more, at first you were asking how was Oikawa because you felt awkward that you didn't even knew how to approach him and start up conversations. You felt this sudden urge to talk to him all the times, you felt like knowing more and more about him, you just wanted to get close to him. You were trying so hard to get his attention. Thankfully you two got close to each other and started hanging out more and more. He would invite you to his practices and then would never fail to walk you home.

He was always willing to listen to anything you had to say, and was always there to support and be there for you. He remembered all the small things about you and always made sure you were feeling good first. You couldn't even count how many times and in how many ways he has helped you out. You just hoped you were for him the same way at least remotely close. He was like an iron wall, nothing seemed to get past him, he was always the strong one, the one in control, but he would sometimes let his guard down and let his true thoughts out. You knew it was hard to him, it was same to you. You just hoped you were helping him in any way whenever he opened up.

You actually got together on the beginning of your second year, when you got into an argument with him.  He was feeling extra grumpy and insecure after he saw that you were all friendly with Oikawa somehow and at some point he let out his biggest insecurity while grumbling and told you that you, like many others, only were with him to get close to Oikawa. When you asked why did he bring that he simply answered that all you did talk about was him and somehow it offend you so much you just looked at him for a second and next thing you know is that you're confessing while yelling that he's a dumbass that the only one you like is him.

That's how you came clean with your feelings both to yourself and Iwaizumi. The next five minutes were kind of really adorable and awkward as hell, well maybe four because first minute was definitely spent on making out with each other. And damn your first kiss would be memorable as hell.

Looking back on everything you went through all these almost two years you were devastated that you had to leave each other. And it devastated you that after all these both of you had trouble even speaking to each other. It's been an hour and neither of you had said anything. You just lied there in complete silence, just your fingers barely grazing each other from time to time. You knew one of you had to break the silence, one of you had to say anything.

"I'm leaving in two days, I packed most of the things I will just have to go over some stuff tomorrow." Iwaizumi sighed as he massaged the bridge of his nose. This was the first thing he has said since forever. You turned to him to admire him for the last time. Were you going to be fine without him? Lately everything was so blurry in your life, you were not sure if you knew everything was worth it anymore.

You broke the silence and decided to come clean"I'm proud of you, I want you to know that. I'm sad that we have to break up, even though I really didn't plan it I'm in love with you, deeply, but I'm also so proud and happy for you. You're going to do amazing things in life I just know it. Don't be sad about the break up, we knew what we were getting at when we started going out... I don't want to let go but you know it's for better." You smiled at him and put your hand on top of his and he held it so tightly it made you feel at ease.

Iwaizumi straightened up and hugged you tight snuggling his face against your neck. "Thanks love, I really needed to hear that." He took a deep breath, "I don't want to break up with you too. I really love you. You have been the most amazing partner I could ever ask for. I know I'm no good with words and forgive me if I sound too cliche, but damn I am as sure that you will achieve everything you set your eyes on, as a fact that the sky is blue. You're most determined and hardworking person I have ever met, and it pains me that you don't see all these amazing stuff about yourself. You're amazing, you're strong, beautiful and really intelligent. Don't forget it just because I won't be able to remind you it as often as possible." He kissed your neck lighly.

You let out a quiet huff of laugher and snuggled better against him, you could feel your eyes watering up. "That's quite hypocrite of you Iwa, I can tell you the same you know. You need to see more that you're just as amazing and competent if not more. Promise that you won't forgetting either." You whispered quietly.

"I promise. God I'm going to miss you so much!" If it were possible he bought you even closer and started peppering your face with kisses making you giggle.

"God you're getting so sappy, I'm barely recognizing you." You teased which resulted in you getting pinched on sides.

"I'm not the one crying." He said without even missing a beat.

"My eyes are just misty, don't flatter yourself." You lied but was there a point the tears were streaming down on your face.

"Oh shut up smartass." He rolled his eyes making you smirk.

"Make me!" He grumbled and sealed your lips in a kiss, making you shut up and melt against him in a second. The kiss was passionate, full of love and desperate at the same time. Your lips spoke all the words you couldn't pronounce for you, and it bought momentary comfort to both of you, you were terrified of when you had to pull back and face reality again.

"Can you stay with me tonight? I don't think I'm ready to let go yet. I want to be greedy and hold you like you're still mine, it's dumb I know it will only hurt me more but please," You mumbled against his lips, drunk with the pleasure, he only nodded and continued kissing you."

That night you lied in each others arms, feeling content and terrified of the tommorrow. Neither of you let go of the other for the whole night, afraid to lose the other. Maybe the novels were right and you also were lovers who were right for each other and maybe there was a possibility of soulmates existing but unfortunately for you it wasn't a good time. And when the sun would rise everything would end, your perfect paradise would disappear and you would have to start a new page of your life.

Maybe you would meet in the future and maybe there was a tiny possibility that both of you could hit it off then the time was better and both of you were at least merely satisfied with your achievements in life. But you were not naive enough to hope on that. Both of you knew that you would have to let go of each other but now you were feeling greedy and wanted to make your last nigh with him being completely engulfed in each other. Just for tonight you would be greedy and selfish just so you could feel at least a bit more at ease before completely breaking your heart.

So this is it love I really hope you will like it, feel free to tell me if you have another request or just talk lol. Tell me if you have any comments about it or would like to change anything about it too.

Lots of love and please take care of yourself!!!

PS, I didn’t really proof read it so if there’s any mistakes please bare with me I will edit it as soon as I can^^

[ggukkiedae]

[6:45am kst, february 10]

hi guys!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT AFTER THE UPDATE SECTION

so just a quick update on what to expect, to be uploaded next:

i just posted a quick yoonmi what if so this will be followed by a hannah nct 2021 content, seri and jennie friendship (i’ve mentioned them as friends but i dont think anyone remembers), and possibly an ari fan fave moments with one of the members

after that is the main timeline of things, we’re in 2018 rn so it’s mainly going to be yoonmi and hannah first (yoonmi’s first drama and hannah’s juggling dream and 127) and maybe a little bit of seri’s debut prep. as for ari, i’m just working on the behind of episode 4 of i-land

so yeah that’s what you can look forward to, but also my requests are open for anything~

now for the announcement:

IT’S MY FIFTH YEAR ON TUMBLR!

i don’t remember the exact date, but i made my tumblr in 2017 sooooo aksjdhf from ranting about the guys i liked both irl and not irl to moving my girls from ao3 to here, we’ve come a long way.

shoutout to yoonmi, hannah, seri, and ari for going on strong. shoutout to bitna and dawon who i wish i could have kept writing but i just couldn’t. shout out to nabi and jiwoo who, even they aren’t in the original groups i planned, still got to make their cameos on i-land. shout out to felicia and yuri who never saw the light of day outside my google drive

in celebration of my five years, i want to do something special, but i’m not so sure what. if you guys have any suggestions like an au of my girls (kinda like the nch au i have going on), an smau, some things you want to know more about them,a drabble series you want to see, really just anything, feel free to send suggestions through my dms or asks~

to my moots idk if you’ll see this but i’m too shy to tag anyone, thank you for being my friends on here. i may be quiet, but i am fully supporting you all! to those who read about my girls, thank you for loving them and for letting them come to life in your imaginations, i appreciate it a lot

that being said, that’s it for now~ i have to go to sleep since i have a meeting in the morning and i have to read another case study for it aksjdhf i’m gonna hate myself so much for having to wake up in like three or four hours but 🤷🏻‍♀️

anyway, remember to stay safe and healthy and spread good vibes~ 🥰

~c💖

[mojwisungie]

imgn | college crush

req (from: anon) ➥ : can you write a college crush jisung fluff where the reader has a Slight crush on him but they’re too scared to talk to him so they just admire him from afar and their friends get tired of it so their friends end up telling jisung about their crush and when jisung asks the reader about it, they immediately book it bc they’re too nervous to speak to him, but eventually they get pushed together at a late night study event made by their college

☄︎ summary: renjun has had enough of you crushing on his other friend jisung. you try to escape his doing but actually, youre set yourself on another encounter ☄︎ pairing: park jisung x reader ☄︎ lou.note: this has been overdue >.< im sorry anonie!! this really got pushed back bc of the editing, but enjoy reading!!

its another typical lunch at the cafeteria with the demons renjun and jeno

and youre once again admiring a cute guy from a distant table

“stop ogling at your crush, its disgusting,” renjun says 

and you dont hear him bc you definitely were staring at your crush: park jisung

jeno waves his hands in front of you

youre just like (*´﹃｀*) huh

RENJUN HAS HAD ENOUGH

renjun: y/n just tell him you like him

y/n: no ❤

being the mediator in this friendship, jeno just laughs and advises you to just go for it 

jisung was in your sociology class, and he’s friends with him and renjun anyway

you only retort with snort and decide to finish eating

while explaining why youre scared content from just loving him from afar

but no, mr huang is not dealing with your rambling

bc he knows it will just end up with you talking about jisung

and i repeat: he’s. had. enough.

so he just cuts you off with “istg if you dont do it, i will make you”

but you thought he was bluffing so

renjun:  (`ー´)

you: (⁎⁍̴ڡ⁍̴⁎)

he sighs heavily 

and texts jaemin to tell jisung to come to the table 

he receives a “wow.. with y/n there? okay ^_^” in reply

jeno nudges you and chokes

you offer him your water and youre like “u good?”

before he could answer, renjun pulls him away from the table 

“i’ll let him choke somewhere else :)”

and youre like ???? NO ??? im coming with you wdym

“no no y/n it’s fine :) just have a good lunch with jisung :)”

you whip your head to where he originally sat

jisung is there... shyly waving at you....

YOU CHOKE ON AIR 

when you look back at your side, theyre ✨gone✨

so you smile cautiously at jisung 

to describe the time you spent together, i have a thing or two to describe it: no words

you both ate quietly

until jisung clears his throat 

“Y/n... uhm can i ask you a question?”

“Sure,” you answer right away as you fix your things

“Well... Renjun-hyung told me you like me....... is it true?”

HEAD GOES BLANK

“I-I .. t-to be h-honest...” you stutter 

before you could even answer.. you bolt out of the cafeteria 

WHAT A MOVE !

you decide to forget about it and just go to your classes

the day passes by and you’re on your way to your last class

and u realize its sociology... the class you have with jisung

u played yourself 😃

you enter the class from the back door and you let out a sigh of relief when u see he’s already in his seat at the middle row

so u sit it at the back now, obviously

the class goes on until your professor talks about the special event in his class

it’s the annual Who Are We event !

you’re genuinely excited bc you met Jay here last year and youre still friends 

Jay is on the dance team with Jisung too and actually asked if you want him to get his number for you

this event is actually done for the class to be closer, since,,, yall do be in sociology 

and you guys arent given your partners name until the night of the event 

it comes along with the list of topics/questions youre safe to ask

so after days of waiting and not rambling about jisung to renjun and jeno

its finally ! D-DAY !

youre given your box 

and you see the initials on top: PJS

tbh you shrug it off bc maybe you got paired with Jay again ! Park Jong-Seong is PJS too right???

lmao u wish

life is playing with u im sorry

bc you open the box to see a green paper with only Park Jisung written on it

and when you look infront of you, he’s already there 

HONESTLY you go straight to what the event is about

and that’s to get to know each other

both of you are comfortable now :’) congrats

the time is almost over and you guys already finished the whole box

when jisung decides to tell you one last thing

“Oh uh, I’m sorry for what happened before by the way”

tbh you cant remember at first

then it hits you

and maybe he noticed with the way your face changed expression

so he goes, “I’m sorry for asking you! I mean you had every right to leave bc I know I shouldn’t have done it even if Renjun-hyung told me to... so I’m really sorry 🥺”

youre speechless

bc tbh you expected him to despise you after leaving him like that

but you know someday you have to confess, one way or another

and you know you’ll fall for him harder when you guys do become friends lol

you decide to come clean by answering 

“I’m sure Renjun will beat me up if I dont get honest with you right now so... yeah I do like you”

you lower your head in embarrassment bc its The Park Jisung

what you didnt know is that he’s actually smiling bc he likes you too :)

the bell rings and indicates that the event is over :T

so you both fix your things and bid each other goodbye

but ... he isnt going to let this opportunity to go to waste

he gotta do what he gotta do 🤠

he catches your wrist as you both go out the door

“Y/n... are you free on Saturday? Because I’d like to know if we could go to the local cafe.. for a date :)”

bonus:

you dont tell renjun and jeno about the date

and jisung actually just forgot to tell chenle and jaemin 😬

AND the four men of the apocalypse just decided to go to the cafe without the two of you

.... which led to them finding out you DID go on a date

lets just say it became a group hangout and jisung asked you for another date (without his and your friends)

[hobie-brown]

first line tag game

rules: list the first lines of the last ten (10) stories you published. look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. then tag some friends.

i got tagged by @risoris :-D ty !!!!! I’m probably gonna pull from some things I haven’t published yet alongside the ones i have, just because i don’t publish my works very often and i don’t want to grab from much older stuff I’m not very proud of! hopefully that doesnt defeat the purpose of the game lol

before i jump into it and/or forget I’ll tag uhhhh @ohlooksheswriting-wips (if you havent done this already) and mmmmm @demonwithapaperhat. i dont know if you’ve shared your writing like this on tumblr tho so no pressure! both of you are completely free to ignore this if u so choose :V

Snapshots from Detention

DETENTION NOTICE

NAME: Jackson Overland-Frost

HOMEROOM: Bunnymund

REASON: Ran down the hallway during study hall with a bluetooth speaker blasting "I want to break free", thus disrupting other students

There are two seasons in Scotland. June and Winter.

Jack hums as he sets down a single foot on the cold cobblestone of the DunBroch gatehouse. Even with a guard in front awake and alert, Jack slips past him into the daunting castle easily.

Check Yes Gnomiet

 There weren't really many extensive circumstances that led up to this point. You could say it started when Merida first began indulging the boy's whims, or maybe pin it as early as when she met Frost, but no. Jack's shenanigans were typically independent of one another. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing…

Seen and not heard

When Amity was eleven years old the twins wanted absolutely nothing to do with her for nearly two years.

       They had gotten to the exact age where they were comfortable meeting up with friends all by themselves but Amity still legally wasn’t allowed to be by herself in the house. Given how both of their parents were constantly out for work, Mother and Father had set the rule that one of the twins could make plans as long as one of them stayed behind or they brought Amity along.

 Rendezvous

      An ethereal being with immense amount of power, say an archangel, is not confined to limitations of miracles and physics the same way humans and lesser angels are. Their bodies are both real and untrue to the laws of the universe at the same time, so travel can be done with a single thought, if one thinks hard enough.

Welcome you home

             Realistically, Catra’s world should have come to an end when she pulled the lever. That was when everything fell apart, when she was split and corrupted between herself and the unknown that had seemed familiar. When she turned into the nothing of another reality. Catra remembers that, that life in the back of her head like a recent dream. But that dream was not what happened. Adora got involved, everyone became themselves again, and Catra’s livelihood sputtered out and died on a much more anticlimactic note.

  the WIP title for this one is: Merida’s HARDCORE X-TREME DOPE birthday EPIC spectacular

no title for this one but its just a giant indulgent costume party w queerplatonic jarida and merida bonding with elsa bc i said so. and mavis is there. 

      Queen Elinor of the DunBroch Kingdom means well. She does.

She does, Merida scolds herself. The nerves in her hands constrict like they

disagree but Merida negates that by slamming one of her swords into her bed frame for good measure.

“Awh you guys are so cute!” Mavis slightly slurs around her plastic neon pink vampire teeth. They are the only hint Merida has that Mavis actually wore a costume to the costume party, because the gothic cape and acrylic claws on their own wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary for Mavis’ style.

This one’s a giant big four project where i really thought about the worldbuilding i would go with if i wanted to make a whole overarching story where they met. but its again, a giant story. 

   Jack never learns the names of where he goes and here is no exception. It’s not for a lack of trying but usually the denizens of the lands he visits are always too busy rushing into the warm indoors to just namedrop much of anything. If Jack had to come up with a name for where he roamed now though, it would probably be something like Greenland. The real Greenland he had visited was more his ‘style’ but wasn’t deserving of the name. Here, everywhere he looked there was something green or just about. Green trees, green hills, green thickets. 

    It was his job, then, to change that.

and thiiiiiis is a piece about modern hiccup coming to terms with being touch-starved and what that means for his overly-touchy friends :V

Stoick was many, many things, but you couldn’t quite call him affectionate. Not with Hiccup.

     The last time Stoick had picked Hiccup up was when he was four years old. It was finally time to plan a funeral for Valka. He’d been putting it off for three years but Stoick knew that even with the slim chance of her being alive somewhere out in the world, there wasn’t going to be any closure for them. This would be the closest they could get. When the casket finally arrived it remained empty and Stoick picked Hiccup as though he was hoisting an anchor, squeezing tight enough to burn. And that was that.  

What I notice off the bat? Rotbtd obsession and inside of that a smaller, more intense jarida obsession. Seriously its bad. But more to the point I tend to have a lot of stress when it comes to first lines so I’ll compensate for that by just deciding to start where I’m most interested in. So sometimes I jump in with dialogue, or a framing device, or i put forth a ‘fun little factoid’ for the reader that if I stretch it out enough will give me enough mileage for the rest of the concept. you can see that last bit especially in here i think.