#i dont want to be my moms. pet anymore.

[problematicsashawaybright]

I just don't understand how my mom had me, her oldest and first child, raised me for 18 years (kind of?), and then chose some guy she barely knows and is objectively terrible over me and kicked me out unexpectedly after telling me I'm no longer a part of her family and all my childhood trauma (that HER at the time husband caused) was my fault. And now she's banned me from seeing my siblings that I RAISED (because she wasn't able to at the time.), she refused to answer my phone calls or texts when I was in the hospital, terrified, crying and begging her to come help or support me because I was completely alone in the hospital in the worst pain in my life and just wanted my mom, and on top of everything, made it clear I'm not invited to family thanksgiving. I don't understand. How is she even able to do that. I don't need her, I'm an adult, but I'm still her child. I don't think I'll ever understand.

[aliengirl]

how i look vs how i wanna look lol

Picrewww <<<

[iowafashionweekbegins]

the way people talk about alzheimers and dementia on here as if it's some magical angsty whump trope is disgusting. unless you have watched it murder some of your closest loved ones and ravage your entire family then you have no right to be romanticizing it like that. you all make me SICK. I HATE YOU! I HATE ALZHEIMERS! IT IS TAKING MY GREAT AUNT JAN AWAY FROM ME, IT IS MURDERING HER, AND I JUST HAVE TO SIT BACK AND WATCH FANDOM BLOGGERS POST ABOUT HOW IT'S SO ANGSTY FOR THEIR STUPID SHIP TROPES. KEEP YOUR FILTH OUT OF THE TAGS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FOR AWARENESS. i pray you never have to suffer through the slow death of your family and friends. you are lucky to have the privilege to be talking about it like it's just a plot device. i wish i could be as naive as you are. i wish my family was still whole. i wish i could have aunt jan back. i wish i could take her place. it's just not fair. it has never, ever, EVER been fair.

[thedegu]

Rip Tim the Goldfish,

You helped me through lockdown and some very rough times. You were meant to be a feeder fish, I hope I gave you a good life.

The best $0.78 I've ever spent, I'll miss ya bud.

[ichigosoju]

🍪🥛

[eyefocusing]

this has been the most week

[bennitastisch]

i wish i could fuck my parents up in the same way they fucked me up

[red-revival]

One of the worst parts abt being disabled in the "financially dependent on someone else because you cant work" way is being treated as functionally someones pet rock. Any interets, hobbies, passions, projects, creations, or skills you have are irrelevant. They view you as an unmoving sickly statue that does nothing. They speak about you as an unmoving sickly statue that does nothing. Everyone who talks to them starts to view you as an unmoving sickly statue who does nothing. You aren't a person, not an artist or coder or writer or whatever passions or thoughts or feelings or skills form you as a person. The things you do in your day-to-day life aren't productive in a way that pays or saves people time and effort, so none of it matters. Nothing you do ever matters anymore. Whatever relationship you had with then previously is irrelevant. You're their pet rock, and that's all they ever see and treat you as

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

please survive

i might have chronic fatigue syndrome.

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.

Danny: i want in

Red robin: …what?

Danny: your bat family. I want in.

Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-

Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.

Red robin: …why?

Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.

Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!

Danny: *stares in shock*

Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?

Orphan: no need. New brother!

Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?

Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.

Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*

Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.

Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)

Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*

Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)

Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.

Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)

Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-

Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.

Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)

Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act

Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly

Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons

Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?

Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously

Robin: and why would we trust you?

Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?

Robin: …you drive a hard bargain

Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!

Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting

Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage

Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!

Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.

Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park

Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks

Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)

Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)

Batman: hn (that said)

Batman: welcome to the family

Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.

Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!

[ceeberoni]

EDIT: WE DID IT WERE MOVING INTO THE HOUSE YAY!!!! THANK YOU EVERYONE PLEASE DONT SPREAD THIS POST ANYMORE CUZ I DONT NEED HELP. FOCUS ON OTHERS WHO NEED HELP HERE INSTEAD. THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID FOR ME. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

hey so i need mad help at a pretty terrible time!!

TL;DR I NEED ABOUT $1900 FOR ME AND MY PARTNER TO GET INTO THIS HOUSE WE GOT WITH SOME FRIENDS. ILL BE ABLE TO PAY RENT ONCE IM IN BUT THESE ARE THE REST OF THE COSTS WE HAVE LEFT BETWEEN ME AND MY PARTNER TO PAY THE DOWN PAYMENT/FIRST MONTHS RENT/PET DEPOSIT FOR OUR SHARE.

not including moving or like, living, during this time into those costs. i already feel bad asking for this much sdklfjslkdfskldf

PAYPAL - chocolatebananapop@gmail.com

VENMO - ceeberoni

KO-FI - ceeberoni

OR IF U WANT ART

COMMISSIONS - REDBUBBLE

ive been boosting my commission post to try and Earn My Money The Noble Way but no ones buyin so i need to do real ebegging cuz im really bad off right now and of course i feel fucking RANCID having to ebeg right now especially when so many other people are in much more dire straits than me at the moment

but im finally getting a house with my childhood friend and his partner (along with my partner) and i will FINALLY be moving out of a house owned by my abusive mom! and i no longer have qualms saying this about her because every one of my friends fucking hates her even when i try to stick up for her and im pretty sure that means shes probably the bad guy and not me but im not sure yet. i will keep you posted

anyway to cut right down to it i got kicked out of my house of 6 years by her cuz my sister and her kids needed a place to live (which like, yeah that tracks, she got all the kids and herself in a studio with a basement but theyve got a roof over their head, the kids at the end of the day are who i number one want a roof over the head of so its fine) and have been house hunting since like idk. late july or early august at this point idr when it was anymore. and it has been such a fucking shitshow but FINALLY after all these months we have a place with our friends and its NOT MY MOMS PLACE and were ALMOST FUCKING THERE

and like right now im in half of a fucking garage with no running water no kitchen no bathroom paying $400/m rent with no bathroom and no ability to save to move and im also paying $200 for mine, my sisters, and my nephews phone bill, no bathroom, i got my car insurance, i got the internet i cant even fucking use anymore that i pay for out of pocket so the kids can watch shit or whatever so do you see where the situation is like fucked up here also i have to walk across the street to take a shit and shower did i mention

umm so any money help would be lit, boosting would also be lit, have a nice day,

[ravenromanova]

My little girl

Pairings: Step mom Natasha x Step daughter reader (Steve is the father)

Warnings: SMUTTTT!!!!!! DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+! Mommy kink, Strap on use, Pet names, Cheating, Fingering, Oral. DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDERAGE!

Summary: Natasha cant wait to have her little girl anymore.

Kinktober Masterlist - Main Masterlist - Send me requests!!!

~

The day had started out like normal for you since you had gotten home eat with your dad and step mother, then watch movies in your room til dinner. But unfortunately right after breakfast your father had gotten a call that he was needed on a work trip ASAP. It wasn’t uncommon for your father to be whisked away by work… sometimes you thought he was cheating on your step mother with how much he was gone.

So after you hugged him by he was out of the door faster then you could blink. You were kinda sad you weren’t gonna spend halloween with him since you literally came home for that but oh well. After he left you retreated back into your room despite your step mother trying to talk to you.

About an hour or two after your father’s departure you went down for dinner. Your stomached rumbled as you smelt whatever it was Natasha had made for dinner.

“Take a seat moya lyubov ill bring it to you” She says with a smile as she hears you walk into the kitchen. You do as you’re told and sit down as the mahogany table watching the woman skate her way around the kitchen. When she was done making your plate she handed it to you with a kiss on the head and a smile.

“Thank you” The words barely made it out of your mouth since she had made you a little flustered. She noticed your flushed cheeks but didn’t say anything and sits down to eat next to you.

“So i was thinking that since your dads gone why dont we go to that haunted maze that’s in town tonight? It’ll be good to get out of the house.” Natasha asked breaking the silence the two of you were in. The thought of you and Natasha alone brought a shiver down your spine and made not so pg thoughts run through your head.

“Sure. That’s sounds better than just watching movies all night.” You agree while taking a sip of your drink and try not to choke when you see her smile.

“Great! I’ll get us tickets for around eight so after were finished go get dressed lyubov” She couldn’t contain her excitement about being able to spend time with you if she tried. Even though she was with your father she had been madly in love with you since she met you. Granted she never said anything but in light of recent events with your father she’s throwing all her resolve away.

Natasha had thought your father was cheating on her for months and, it was confirmed a month ago when he came home with a hickey and lipstick on his collar. That was when Natasha had made a plan to get back at him through you in many ways. She had started her plan last week when you came back for break. It started out with soft touches, sweet praises, small gifts and now tonight was her time to finalize her plan.

The two of you finished dinner with light conversation before you got up and got ready. You couldn’t help but put some extra effort in your appearance wanting to impress your stepmother. Black ripped jeans, a red tank top, leather jacket and boots is what you decided on along with your hair in braids. Once you stared at yourself in the mirror for five minutes you finally decided to head downstairs.

When you descended down the stairs Natasha was putting on her boots and you choked a little at how good she looked. She was wearing a grey long sleeve accompanied by a similar leather jacket to yours, black jeans and had her hair braided. Her attention turned towards you and she smiled as her heart thumped in her chest.

“You look so good dekta” She praised walking up to you keys and purse in hand. You blushed at her praise and muttered a ‘thank you’ before walking out to her car. She opened and closed your door before getting into the drivers side and driving off. The car ride was filled with the both of you singing along to halloween songs and laughing.

When she pulled into the maze your eyes widened at the decorations that lined the maze. Natasha parked the car and opened your door while holding out her hand for you. You took her hand with a smile and the two of you walked to the ticket booth.

“Hi welcome to the haunted maze of westview! How can i help you?” The woman dressed as a skeleton asked once you and Natasha approached her.

“Hi! We have two tickets for eight under Romanoff” Natasha answered the woman with her signature smile that made you swoon. The woman gave you both wristbands and told you both to have a goodnight with a smile. Natasha took your hand and started to lead you to the entrance of the maze. And of course to your lucky a zombie jumped out at you right as you entered the maze.

“Fucking shit!” You screamed as the zombie retreated back into their corner. Unknowingly when you jumped you had fully pushed your body into Natashas and her hands found home on your waist. When you realized how close you were to her you tried to pull away but she held you close.

“Stay next to me dekta i’ll protect you” She whispered in your ear and continued to walk you two through the maze hand in hand. As the two of you walked along multiple creatures jumped out at you causing you to shriek and squeal like a child. Natasha laughed everytime you screamed and jumped back into her arms.

In all reality she was loving how scared you got because you sought solace in her. She would wrap her arms around your waist and hold you close smiling to herself each time. By the time you two neared the end of the maze you were significantly scared and a mess in Natasha’s arms. But of course you couldn’t leave without one more group of creepy and disfigured creatures popping out and scaring you half to death.

“Okay can we go home now?” Your voice was starting to shake from how scared you were. Natasha took your hand and nodded before kissing your hand and bringing you to her car.

“I didn’t know it would be that intense dekta im sorry” She apologized with a look of pity in her eyes pulling you into a hig for a second. Your arms naturally found themselves wrapped around her waist and your head laid on her chest.

“It’s okay it’s not your fault im a wimp” You joke lifting your head up to look into her deep green eyes. For a moment you could’ve sworn you saw something more than just a step mother kind of love from her. And you were right and that became clear when her hand cupped your face and rubbed your cheek. She stared at you with more love and admiration than you’ve ever seen.

“Let’s get you home dekta” She whispered kissing your head then taking your hand in hers again. You gratefully take her hand and let her lead the way to her car before getting in the passenger seat. She got in the drivers side after she closed your door and drove off yet again.

Natasha kept one hand n the wheel and one hand on your thigh the whole time she drove back to your house. The two of you sat in comfortable silence during the ride home just enjoying the music on the radio. Your thoughts were running wild when she rubbed her thu,b on your thigh, the action set a straight pulsing to your core. It was hard to focus on anything with the way her hand felt on you. When she pulled into the driveway she moved her hand to your cheek and made you look at her pulling you out of your thoughts.

“When we get inside i want you to go upstairs, strip, get on the bed and wait for me” She demanded fully losing her resolve. You didn’t mutter a word but instead just nodded your head not completely understanding what’s happening. You bolted out of the car and unlocked the front door before booking it to your room.

As you ran to your room you couldn’t contain your excitement or the wetness in your panties growing. Once you finally reached your room you undressed as fast as your could and then laid on your bed waiting for her. It took her a grueling fifteen minutes before she walked into your room with a red strap on in her hand and a devilish smile.

“Good girl listening to mommy” She groaned out taking in your fair skin and pretty face. Natasha wasted no time in sauntering over to you and placing herself between your thighs. Her hands found their way to your stomach and she squeezed the soft flesh.

“So soft, So pretty baby” Her praise sent a shiver down your spine which in turn made your nipples hard. She moved her hands to your chest and rolled your nipples in between her fingers.

“Oh fuck mommy” The moan was broken as it past your lips. The arousal in between your thighs was dripping down on the sheets at this point. It was only a matter of seconds before one of your nipples was in her mouth and she sucked on it. Your back arched from the pleasure that you felt.

You aren’t quite sure how you got here but gods you were loving it. Her mouth felt so good on your chest you swear you almost came right then.

“Please fuck me mommy” You beg clawing at her back earning a chuckle from the redhead. “Please” The need was very evident in your voice.

“Okay okay okay” She laughed making her way down your body. Your glistening pussy made her groan when she came face to face with it. She wasted no time again as she stuck two fingers into you making you moan loudly.

“Oh fuck yes” You screamed when her mouth came down on your clit. Her fingers worked relentlessly hitting your g-spot over and over again while sucking your clit. You were in a haze from the pleasure you felt as your orgasm came closer.

“R-Right there mommy…FUCK!” Your orgasm ripped through you like you’ve never felt before earning a satisfied moan from the older woman. The second you came on her tongue she knew she was addicted for life.

“Such a good girl dekta” Your stepmother praised rubbing small circles on your clit with her free hand while still hitting your g-spot with the other.

“M-Mommy c-cant too sensitive” The pleas fell on deaf ears as she pulled another orgasm from you. She smirked to herself and pulled her fingers out and then licking them clean.

“So fucking sweet” She continued her praises grabbing the strap securing it to her hips. Your eyes fell down to the strap and your eyes widened in excitement yet again. It was in this moment she went from your step mother to the love of your life.

“I’m gonna fuck you for real now okay sweet girl?” She asked kissing her thighs lifting them to wrap around her waist. You gladly wrapped your legs around her which brought her closer to your dripping and aching pussy. Your hands wrapped around the faux cock and directed it to you.

“Please mommy” And that plea right here is what broke all of her restraint. She slammed her cock into you making you scream out and claw at her. She picked a fast pace as she rammed herself into you.

“OH FUCK!” You screamed feeling the strap hit all the right spots. Natasha smirked as she looked down at you and saw your face contort with pleasure.

“That’s it baby take it take mommy cock” She demanded feeling her clit brush against the strap making her moan. Her moans were music to your ears and brought you closer to your thrive orgasm.

“R-Right there mommy -oh fuck-“ The sentence barely came out as you came on the strap with a shriek. You sat up and grabbed onto her and she decided to wrap her arms around your waist and fuck into you harder.

“My sweet little girl takes me so well” Natasha praised chasing her own orgasm still fucking into you hard.

“Yes mommy! All for you” You moaned attaching your lips to her neck needing to distract yourself from the pleasure. Her head fell back once you started sucking on her neck and that was all she needed to cum harder than ever.

“Such a good girl” She kissed your forehead as she laid you back on your back and fucked your through her orgasm bringing you to your fourth.

“Thank you mommy” You squeaked feeling her pull out of you slowly. She discarded the strap on the floor then laid next to you breathlessly.

“Oh im the one that should be thanking you” Her laugh came out airy as she rolled to her side to look at you. She pulled the covers over the two of you before she pulled you closer so your back was pressed against her.

“Well either way that was amazing” Your hands found their way on top of hers giving them a soft squeeze. She hummed in agreement and laid with you in a dazed state. It took you a few moments before the reality of you sleeping with your step mother hit.

“Fuck-“ You berated yourself making Natasha turn you over to face her. Her eyes were filled with concern as you kept muttering to yourself.

“What’s wrong dekta?” She asked cupping your cheeks making you look at her.

“We just had sex! And you’re married to my father! That’s what’s wrong” You sat up and ran your hand through your hair. “Oh my gods what have i done?” You ask more to yourself than her.

“Hey hey hey look at me its okay” She said softly making you shake your head in response.

“No! No! it isn’t okay!” You said in a frantic state disgusted with yourself and what you’ve done.

“Your father has been cheating on me” She finally says causing you to halt your head shaking.

“W-What?” The disbelief was hard to hide as you spoke. It’s not like the thought of your dad cheating never happened but for it to finally be confirmed shocked you.

“I found out last month.. You know his secretary? Sharon?” She asked and you nodded. “Well apparently those work trips have been to the four seasons in jersey city” Natashas voice came out smooth and soft as she spoke almost as if she didn’t care.

“Why dont you seem more upset?” Was all you were able to ask still in shock.

“Because i found someone much better to love” She answered cupping your cheek. It took you a moment to realize what or more so who she was talking about.

“M-Me?” You asked pointing to yourself with wide eyes. She shook her head yes with a smile on her face.

“Ive wanted you since the day i met you. Marrying your father was the biggest mistake of my life” The redhead admitted staring into your eyes. You smiled back at the woman nodding your head in understanding.

“So what does this mean?” Your voice was a little shaky as you spoke but she gave you a kiss to help with that.

“It means that i want a divorce from your father… And then if you want me i want to be with you” She admitted and for the first time you saw the older woman blush.

“I want you” You said quickly not giving her any time to doubt herself. Natasha smiled and brought you in for another kiss. That night you two laid together figuring out how Natasha would bring up the divorce to your father.

In the months that followed your father and Natasha got a divorce and, you and her moved to new york together during the summer so you could finish school. Natasha was more than happy to leave westview and move to the big city with you. She found a job with a private security company a month after you two settled into your new apartment.

You and your father no longer spoke since he decided to start dating sharon before his and Natashas divorce was finalized. But in all honesty you couldn’t give two fucks about your father when you are this happy.

Who knew one haunted maze would really be the start of your new life?

~The end~

A/n GUYS ITS THE 16TH! 😭 So i just had to post a nat fic in dedication. I miss our girl sm!

i do not give permission for my work to be translated or copied on other cites

[envy-of-the-apple]

Oh my goodness I adored Sun eats Moon. It was such a well-put together story! Cannot stop thinking about it as well as your other works. Even though the trilogy ended, I was thinking about Satoru’s reaction to if he caught the reader cheating? How would he take it?

!!!!!!!!!

ik i said no more sem asks buuuuut omg?? such SUCH a good question

i personally feel this is the only situation where cheating is excusable. i mean, youre stuck in an abusive relationship with no way out, i dont blame you. since satoru has basically stopped all communication with your friends/family and youre stuck in a penthouse all alone and pregnant, maybe you turn to the internet as a last ditch effort to feel something other than despair???

and that's when you meet him.

you two have never sent eachother pictures. you dont know what he looks like. you dont care about any of that. the things you two talk about feel so real. passions, favorite hobbies, etc etc. soon it moves onto fantasies: where he'd take you out on the first date, where he'd propose, where you two would get married.

it's so pathetic, but it's the only out you have.at least until Gojo finds out. when he does. It’s CHAOS. He’d loose his mind. Just the thought of you LOOKING at another man is enough to make him go insane but now he’s reading these chats and you’re talking about marriage, kids, a fucking pet dog

using his super richguy status he’d track down the IP and find the guy relatively quickly. And this person is probably the exact opposite of what he described himself as: a 40 year old man who still lives with his mom and lives vicariously through his internet persona….but so are you…it’s equally pathetic. still Gojo is furious. He’d probably force you to look at he kicks the shit out of this poor nobody. Maybe he’d ask one of his bodyguards to pitch in. And when that’s over he’ll order you to strip and suck him off in front of your AP so he can humiliate you even further. after that whole fiasco he’ll just get that guy blacklisted from every company in the city, but your punishment isn’t done.

even less freedom, even more supervision. youre basically just trapped in his penthouse. he doesn't trust bodyguards anymore, what if you start cheating on him with them too?? cameras are the only solution. you arent given real clothes anymore. your entire wardrobe of designer that he thought you'd be grateful for is ripped away in place of lingerie. its all youre given. and if you dont want to wear that, you could always just walk around naked since you're so insistent on being a little slut

from now on, its only rough sex. youre still gonna finish but hell make sure its torture. for weeks he'll refer to you as 'slut' 'whore' 'prositute'. no matter how many times you apologize.

he'd forgive you eventually, but until he does....oh boy

[is-this-fascism]

i dont even LIKE chicken that much which is why it's so embarassing that i can cook with it better than most people whose chicken i've eaten.

it's a tale as old as time. your mom is making chicken tonight. maybe it's chicken parm. maybe it's chicken and dumplings. maybe she's getting cultured and making arroz con pollo. usually though, it's the blandest, driest chicken breast. you need a hacksaw to get through it and the dry seasoning rub sandpapers the roof of your mouth. how does she keep fucking up the chicken this bad?

so here's the thing: FDA guidelines about safe temperatures for meat are idiot-proof. if you are NOT an idiot you don't have to hypernukeblast all the flavor and texture out of your meat anymore.

watch this minutefood video for a great rundown of the numbers. i don't personally temp my meat, but i reccomend you do, and experiment like she has in the video until you're comfortable doing it by vibes.

LEARN TO COOK STIR FRY! this will teach you everything you need to know to cook chicken well, and it's two simple things:

1. chop it into little pieces

2. marinate it in liquid seasoning

the first tip is somewhat optional, as it's perfectly possible to cook a juicy full chicken breast safely, but you're always going to run the risk of overcooking it in an effort to get the center to a safe temperature. if you're looking for whole chicken breast, the oven is your friend.

the second tip is VITALLY IMPORTANT. dry powder seasonings don't penetrate into chicken meat well, and since chicken breast is usually an irregular shape (compared to say pork and beef cuts that tend to be flat), you'll end up with underseasoned bites if you rely on a seasoned crust. a liquid marinade will also hydrate the meat which i suspect contributes to even cooking, but more importantly leads to juicier meat.

i rest my meats for at least 2 minutes before cutting them, but the jury is out on whether that actually helps it retain moisture. if you've done everything else right, resting or not resting shouldn't make a big difference. if you want to visually check the meat has cooked through, absolutely cut it in half.

IF YOU END UP WITH DRY CHICKEN!! you can improve it by adding it to something wet, like a ceasar salad, or make it into chicken salad. shredding it will help with the texture too. or just feed it to your pets.

that's it! go forth and make delicious, succulent, juicy chicken!! good luck!!

[yilingpatriarchscvnt]

Paper Ring

"I like shiny things but I'd marry you with paper rings."

Gekko X M!Reader

Summary: A popular boy with terrible grades, a less popular boy with straight A's.

Highschool au! Almost all characters are high-school student,Reyna is gekko's older sister, brimstone is M!Reader's father figure (adopted sigh).

"Please tutor me!"

"Why the hell should I? Rip-off Eminem."

"You can't keep going like this mateo." His mother sighed deeply in disappointment as she slam the F scored paper on his table. "You're almost 18! You can't be failing like this anymore."

"I don't see why it's such a big deal, it's just one bad score mom!"

His mother furrowed her eyebrows in anger, getting angrier each minute passes. "But it's not just one bad score isn't it mateo? Since this school year every test you have taken you almost failed every one of them!" She crossed her arms trying to calm down from the stress. "Look here gekko, I just want the best for you. I want you to get a decent job in the future, this is why I am doing this"

"Doing what?"

His mother looked at him dead serious in his eyes. "If you don't pick your grades up then you are not allowed to go any of those parties and dying your hair like that." His eyes widened by his mother's words as he got up from his chair to argue.

"You can't do that mom, All of my friends are expecting me to go to that party! And no they love my hair!" He said furrowing his brows.

"Guess you have to disappoint your friends then, unless you fix your grades." His mother said the final words and left him furiously clenching his fist in the room. There was still time for his final exams, few a months at least. But there was no guarantee that he would succeed all by himself like that. He had to find a tutor.

"Ugh.. this is such a pain in the ass." He mumbled under his breath as he got a notification from his phone.

hermana estúpida

Reyna

Gekko did mom see ur test score?

Gekko

Yeah she's pissed

Reyna

Well that's what you get for partying instead of studying dumbass

Gekko

stfu.

Gekko

anyways-

I need to find a tutor or smth

Gekko

do you know anyone?

Reyna

You could always ask Y/n

he's hella smart.

Gekko

who is that.

Reyna

are you serious...

do you not pay attention to anyone

I am literally upperclass of you but I know your classmates.

Reyna

he's in your class

try talking to him tomorrow

Gekko

thanks

Gilipollas

Reyna

Dont make me come downstairs gekko.

Gekko's POV

I shoved my phone in my pocket and looked out of my bedroom window the sun was setting by now, and the moon was peeking over the horizon. I decided needed some fresh air to clear my head and to mentally prepare myself for school tomorrow. I'll actually need to listen in class now, ugh..

I walked to the door, putting my shoes on and grabbing a jacket. "I'm going out! I yelled to anyone that could hear me. and then, I walked out of my house, heading to a small park nearby. I didn't get much time to go out alone, I was either going to parties with my friends or spending time with my sister. it was a rare occurrence for me to be in my own company. it was quite relaxing to be honest.

although I was relaxed, I was still angry. getting grounded because I can't get good grades? what the hell. So what if i'm failing? my family is rich anyway. If I fail I can always fall back into the family business. in my haze of frustration I barely noticed where I was going until I heard a soft meow at my feet. I looked down to see a fluffy white cat laying in a bed of flowers.

"oh shoot sorry bud, i nearly stepped on you there, huh?" It gave out another soft meow as I bent down to pet it. I couldn't help but snap a photo of it. "where's your owner, little one?" as if I had summoned it, an unfamiliar voice rang out.

"kita! kitaaa?! ugh where are you." within the darkness I saw a faint silhouette of a boy who looked about my age. as he stopped underneath a lamp post I took in his features, getting a good look at him. He had [h/c] hair that practically glowed underneath the light of the lamp post. [e/c] eyes that glanced in every direction.

I looked down at the cat who was purring beside me, noticing a light blue collar. I gently moved its head out of the way to see a name tag. kita. so this was the [h/c] boy's cat? I cleared my throat and picked the white cat up in my arms, cradling it like a baby

"uhhh excuse me?" he turned his attention to me, his [e/c] eyes glinting underneath the light. He noticed the cat in my arms and came running towards me with his arms out. before i could blink he had scooped it up in his arms, facing me whilst cuddling the cat to his chest.

"kita how could you run away from me like that?! you scared me to death." he said, over-dramatically. i cleared my throat again, trying to catch his attention. He finally noticed me standing in front of him and he looked up to meet my eyes.

I gave him a small smirk. "don't I get a thank you?" he nodded his head at me, not saying a word and simply turned to walk away. "h-hey wait! aren't you going to say thank you?!" he turned around to face me again giving me a small smile.

"thank you." he then walked off, holding kita in his arms, leaving me alone under the moonlight.

I was slightly shocked that he wasn't fanboying over me, since for as long as I can remember any time someone looked at me they would blush and ask for my number. It wasn't a surprise they acted that way, ever since I was a kid I was always naturally good looking and charming.

I took one last look at him before turning around and heading back home before anyone would get worried. after a minute or two I realised that I never caught his name. I turned around to see if he was still there but he was gone. all I saw was an empty park, with no one in sight.

Part 2

[kenlvry]

hiii hello if requests are open again can i request stan, kyle, and kenny making up with reader after a fight? ☺️ i love your works sm!

making up after a fight

an, HELLO YES REQUETS ARE VERY OPEN thankyou sm 🤭🤞 im reading this while listening to boombayah yall . gn reader ( use od girlfriend in kyles oh and 16/17) also their kinda a bitch but its all good in the end

kenny

you two fought again, i mean it wasn't the first time, you two don't usually fight and when you do its intense. you just found out mans still hasn't deleted some of his hoes contacts and still talks to them like???? you brought it up and he immediately apologized but you wanted to explanation, you bring up how this has happen before and he still hasn't deleted em "look baby i was lazy, i dont even talk to them" he said walking closer to you. you brought this up when he's with the others, and it got heated. it ended with you flipping him off and going back home, " we're not helping you again this time btw". you blocked him everywhere and refuses to meet his eye at school. you thought abt it and maybe you overreacted, you decided to apologize and search for him everywhere, then you saw him talking with alot of girls and you couldn't be more angrier, you confront him then and there "wtf ken?? this is literally what we talked abt? if you want to cheat atleast make sure i dont find out" you ran away, you were so devastated how could he? after everything :(( . immediately running to your room crying and cursing kenny out, your mother then knocks and opens your bedroom door "kenny is here honey, should i let him in?" "no let him die out in the cold ma" your mom shrugged and left, few seconds later the door reopened at it was kenny "what do you want?" you rolled your eyes and he walked over to you on your bed "please hear me out" "im not even kicking you out js talk" you said sitting properly on the edge of the bed "look babe about the contacts, i keep their numbers on my phone because i ask them abt girl tips.." he said while looking down in shame, you scoffed "are u joking? thats so obviously a lie" "check my phone then, you can scroll until the top of the chat" he said giving you his phone, and it's true, its mostly "what do i do if she has her period" or "what do girls like as a gift" and "if she says shes ok but put notation at the end what does that mean" you laughed at how cute that was but then you remember earlier, you immediately glare back at him and he understood "i asked them how to comfort you, im not good at this shit bae" you laughed again and he inches closer to you "i would never cheat on you, i love you too much and you know that" kissing you and you kissed back smiling in the kiss.

kyle

again, you two aren't one to fight bc there was nothing to fight abt, but recently all he talks about is cartman and he won't shut up about him, cartman this cartman that youre sick of it, so you talk it out with them. "what do you mean i talk about cartman all the time? i wouldn't give that bitch any of my time" he said looking at you from his computer, you sighed "our past three convos is about cartman and how you cant stand him, earlier at school when we walked home tgt you talked about him, yesterday all you could say was how cartman was this and cartman was that, am i your girlfriend or is he??" you scoffed, "look can we talk abt this another time? I'm about to 1v1 cartman and loser has to do what winner wants" he said turning back to his computer "this is literally what im talking about! you are so caught up abt him you dont even pay attention to me, have you even see my text to you?" he sighed "i did, about the ice cream right" you couldn't believe him rn "my fucking pet hamster died kyle????" you can't stand this shit anymore you left slamming the door at him. sheila asked you to drink with her but you just ignored her, what the hell is wrong with kyle? he could've atleast replied about your pet hamster, he knew how much it meant to you. at school you wouldn't even stand near him, you talked with the girls and sat near tolkien and you walked home with tweek. you got a call and it was cartman, the cause of your fight "what is it" "yo dawg, kyle asked me to tell you to meet up with him at the pond" you were confused "why" "idk, but bring protection, im sure he didn't bring any" he said laughing and you rolled your eyes ending the call. you put your jacket on and went out to the park, from afar you see him on the bench swinging his feet. "kyle?" he stood up "oh uh y/n, here" he gave you flowers and motioned for you to sit down, "im not good at this um" he played with his thumbs and was looking nervous ,you laughed a little "take your time". he sighed "y/n im sorry, I should've paid more attention to you and not cast you away like some stranger, im really sorry about your pet hamster too, i know how much he means to you." puting a hand on your thigh while looking at you he smiled, you smiled back "well it's going to take alot more than just a simple sorry" you said sarcastically and looked away , he laughed "well then, should we watch a movie?" he stood up and so did you. that day you two watched a movie and had the best dated ever.

stan

recently life has been real shitty for stan, with his dad being a dead beat who won't shut up about his farm, cartman being a bitch in general and kyle not understanding what he's going through, its rough for him. he takes it out on you, he'd randomly lash out on you then say sorry which isnt even a good apology, he would ignore you and your texts and reply in two days time. you have had enough and went to his house to talk about it with him. "i dont get mad at you and i dont ignore you, your making things up y/n" you sigh softly at his remark "stan if i were to ask people what they think about us they would say we're just friends and not in a relationship, thats how much you fucked up" he stood up from his chair at your remark "how much i fucked up?? maybe you shouldn't have texted me so goddamn much , maybe you shouldn't bother me when i'm clearly in a bad mood, how is it my fault?" "this is exactly what I'm talking about, I didn't do anything and you act as if i committed third degree murder" he scoffed "fine then what do you want? to break up? if thats what make you so happy then we are over" he said and going back to his game "fuck you stan, you couldn't even try to communicate with me, i know ur going through some shit rn but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on me im not ur toy." you left his house and went home, can you believe the audacity this boy had? you blocked him everywhere and deleted his name in your bio, when people found out they comforted you, some even flirting with you, you dont want to be associated with him anymore. he however realises how much he fucked up and was regretting every decision he did that day, he tried to talk to you many times but your friends would always block his way to talk to you, you could care less. you went home alone one day and can feel a presence behind you, you walk faster each second and to one point running with the man running after you "y/n!" he yelled and you immediately recognise the voice, you look back to see stan panting with his hands on his knees, you sighed rolling your eyes "what now stan?" "please, just let me explain" you stayed silent. "im.. im sorry, i should've talked to you about the things i was going through, i was just going through a hard time and yes its not an excuse i know, i didn't talk to you about it because i was scared you'd tease me so i isolated myself thinking it was for the better but instead it created something worse" his eyes were glassy and he sniffled. "I can't forgive you just yet yk" crossing your arms, "i know, so please be my mine again i will make it up to you" his desperate face was the cutest and you agreed, he took you out on many dates and was replying often, he opened up to you and you two always helped each other when needed. he couldn't imagine loosing you again and he's going to make sure he doesn't anymore.