#i dont want this to flood people's dash
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i love it when people post their headcanons in the style of "rip [character] you wouldve loved ____" so im gonna do that
rip rambley you wouldve loved sonic adventure 2
rip rambley you wouldve loved hand holding
rip rambley you wouldve loved poptarts
rip ness you wouldve loved minecraft
rip ness you wouldve loved fortnite
rip ness you wouldve loved collecting game systems
rip lucas you wouldve loved stardew valley
rip lucas you wouldve loved omori
rip lucas you wouldve loved knitting
#headcanons#my headcanons#tumblr#rambley#rambley the raccoon#indigo park#rambley indigo park#ness#ness earthbound#ness mother 2#mother#mother 2#earthbound#lucas#mother 3#lucas mother 3#sonic adventure 2#minecraft#fortnite#stardew valley#sdv#stardew#omori#holy shit#that is a lot of tags#how do you add a cut in posts /genq#i dont want this to flood people's dash#please#I FIGURED IT OUT#LETS FUCKING GO
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btw i will forever recommend just. refusing to engage in discourse. its free its easy and you literally arent missing anything LMAO - 99% of discourse on here is just on the most pointless petty shit that literally doesnt mean a single thing to anyone in real life (i am looking directly at you "pRo/AnTi" shippers), and the other 1% is genuinely important shit... that isnt going to be solved in any productive way by insulting '''the other side''' online. arguing with strangers online never changes anyones mind all youre doing is making yourself *and* your cause look annoying as hell :thumbsup: maybe chill out. find a hobby.
#dont even get me started on how apparently this entire fucking site has never heard of nuance in its life#im ngl dude i think if youre boiling down a complicated topic to 'well this is the good side (my side) and then the BAD EVIL SIDE'#and putting anyone who even slightly falls out of line with your beliefs on the evil side#like. thats not gonna be productive in the slightest right. you understand that right#if you wanna have meaningful nuanced discussions with people you actually know about serious topics then go for it!#just dont drag random strangers into it#if i have to see one more post with dumb bullshit acronyms that everyones expected to know that insults anyone who doesnt blindly agree wit#them i stg#'if you dont agree with this then clearly youre a [evil side] who hates [group] and does [bad thing]. theres no other logical explanation#for you possibly not agreeing with me'#and theyre talking about the most obscure insane discourse youve literally never heard of before thatll be flooding your dash for the next#month#had to unfollow a really good artist because they just kep reblogging the most aggressive 'every [evil side] sucks and hates [good side] an#doesnt care about them and wants to oppress them'#(said '[evil side]' wasnt even a moral stance it was literally just something you were born as. like. you get how thats fucked up right)#which uh. sucked! especially since i was part of that [evil side]#anyway midnight rant over tldr uhhh discourse stupid go get hobbies#and if i ever mention what discourse topic inspired this post ill probably get torn apart LMAOO#(hint: its one of the stupid pointless ones)#me.txt
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i hope they post a joint nude to tell us to go vote
#was sat with my sister and the election came up#she goes ‘your gay people are in america right now arent they. is that safe’ which i didnt really understand#so i just explained the dan vote nude. while he was on tour#dreading the election bc i know my dash will by flooded by usamerican bullshit and i dont want to see it !!! but dnp can make it better#phan#dipnpip
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Honestly y'all make me tired. I am mostly responding to other people arguing with me so it seems like I am way more invested than I am. I am not mad lol it is literally an internet popularity contest. If Harry wins cool. If Harry loses it is further proof he is the more pathetic meow meow. Either way I win and am correct forever
#not going to respond to any more asks arguing with me about the poll bc it is tiring and i dont like it flooding my dash#its kinda funny how y'all are talking about how mad i must be but you are literally the ones that want to argue with me lol#however mad u think i am i don't care enough to send people anonymous asks arguing with them about an internet poll. i am just sitting here#i talk
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ok heres more stuff because why have shame about anything at all be warned whats under the cut cannot be unseen
heres my first creeks from probably like. a week after tweek x craig aired lol yes i did use glitter glue to decorate their hair thanks for noticing
obligatory buttman see im not a poser guys ive been their number one fan since i was 13
um. pretty self explanatory i think kenny is a…worm and yeah this was actually a thing a good pal of mine did in 8th grade english wed share a peice of paper and doodle all over it so the better drawings are his and the things that look like garbage are mine
extras i still stand w the idea cartman would catfish kyle for six years for calling him a fat ass kelly price but it’d probably be something like a fat ass perez hilton that would make more sense given everything about cartman
more 13-21 year old drawings just shittier i guess
#i have. so much more but i dont want to flood peoples dashes#sighhh ughhh#my art#i GUESSS…#tweeksposts
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I feel a sideblog coming on
#chem.txt#i dont want to flood peoples dashes with victorian/recency dresses#ill tag it once its made this is a passion of mine
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Somehow despite not even saying im autistic people still treat me like a child lmao
#feelinglikeshit#<- tag for blocking#please block this tag though i am so scared of flooding my mutuals dashes with annoying shit 😭#this is at school#im dreading going to school it sucks there it sucks so bad and im just#i hate that place#i act too mentally ill and then people are scared of me#and idk if i should want them to be#rhis is why i dont like talkin to people#what does it take for people to see me as a person? what do i have to do#sorry for getting emotional so often but ljke#this is the only place i can be fucking honest#everywhere else i seen as a girl or childish or sensitive#if i display anything other than ‘manliy stoicism’#i hate it so fucking much#i know it sounds bad but if i fucking cry or my voice is just a bit too high people call me a girl#im so angry at this stupid town i hope it burns in the next wildfire
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okay this is a long ramble and kinda personal, so bear with me, but i want to talk about being aspec in the joker out fandom bc I'm full of emotions and i need to share them somewhere
(just a short warning for internalised aphobia before i go on)
for context, i identify as aspec, more specifically asexual and some flavour of aromantic. I've known about the ace part for about 3-4 years now, the aro part is more recent and I'd say that before, lets say, a couple of months ago, I'd always seen that as something negative, something that makes me miserable, a deficit that will always be there and that others will never understand
and then i joined the (tumblr) joker out fandom around... june of last year, probably? and at first i thought "theres no way there are many queer people in this fandom, its essentially a boyband, and other aspec people? no way"
well, oh boy was i wrong
because not only is this fandom, like what, 90% queer? (i know someone made a poll at some point but i dont remember the percentages) but it's also around 50% aspec. and there's just this general positivity and support surrounding the a-spectrum in the fandom. like, some days ago there was an aphobic comment somewhere and before i even saw it my dash was FLOODED with people defending aspec people and i was just sitting in the kitchen reading through the posts and crying.
and yes, this is tumblr, i could have seen this coming and it's probably different on other platforms, but so many aspec people in one place, in one fandom, is still something that I've never experienced before.
so why are so many aspec people drawn to a slovenian indie/shagadelic rock band that, at first glance, is just 5 very good-looking probably-straight guys making music? that doesnt really make sense, right?
and then you see how much more they are. how they interact with each other. how comfortable they are in their sexualities, in their masculinity, in being themselves. you see a group of friends that love each other so unashamedly it's a bit unbearable to watch sometimes. you don't see them holding back because "thats not their partner!" or "that's reserved for romantic relationships!", you just see love. you see them supporting each other, being physically affectionate, looking out for each other, laughing together, even living together. vse kar vem could easily be a romantic song, but it's about their friendship!!
and what is all of that, if not THE dream of many aspec people? to be okay with not feeling sexual or romantic attraction because you have your group of friends that you love the same amount as allosexual/-romantic people love their partner(s) and to show it, and to know that they love you the same (and won't replace you with romantic partners) because they also show it, without thinking twice about it, without thinking about how others might interpret your relationship because it just doesn't matter as long as you love each other.
so of course aspec people see themselves in joker out. we see hope for ourselves in them, we are probably a little (or in my case very) jealous of their friendship, we want what they have or we just love to finally see real people live with the sort of affection we would like to have. (just to clarify, this is based mostly on what i feel, so other aspecs might feel completely different about this, idk why I'm trying to generalise this)
and this is about all five of them, but to take jan and nace as an obvious example: they love each other so much that the fans start to speculate, and they know about it. but instead of hiding their affection, they just keep on doing what they're doing. because they know how they feel for each other, and it's no one else's business, and they won't be stopping their love just because of "conspiracy theories". and to me it doesn't matter how they love each other (platonic, romantic, whatever), it matters that they do and that you can't help but notice it, because they show it in every interaction we see of them. the damon baker photoshoot just confirmed that, they look at each other and the amount of love makes me cry, it's so incredibly beautiful.
(just some other things i want to mention: them probably cooking mostly potatoes because nace is glutenfree. nace calming down bojan after his panic attack in summer. jan and bojan casually kissing on the lips during a concert. the jure and bojan getting married photoshoot. bojan touching kris's hair during concerts. kris being carried around during a photoshooting. jure and jan drawing a heart together. them gathering around jure's drumset during concerts. i could go on but for my sanity and yours i won't, there are so many moments that just make me soft)
I'd love to be more physically affectionate with my friends, but every time there's this voice in the back of my head saying what society has conditioned it to say, which is that that kind of affection is reserved for romantic relationships, and this voice stops me every time. i feel like bojan, jan, jure, kris and nace either don't have that voice (anymore?) or they've just managed to ignore it, they don't hold back and i admire that as much as i wish i could be like that.
and while i still have a long way to go until i can be affectionate with my friends without worrying about it or holding myself back, joker out have shown me that it's possible, because of them i finally have days on which i think that i can be aspec and actually happy about it. being aspec finally feels as freeing as it should feel and I'm just grateful
joker out has allowed so much queer joy into my life without intending to and although i don't think anyone i know irl will ever understand this, i hope that some of you can relate to this in some way.
I've said this a lot during the past two weeks but i can never say it enough: all the love to my fellow aspecs, and also to all the non-aspec people who support us <3
feel free to add to this if you want to; my dms are always open if you want to talk about it without posting about it, i love hearing other people's thoughts about stuff like this ^^
#i really want to write sth like this about gender too bc thats also connected to all of this#special love to sonja for all the moments of self-discovery we've had in the past months 💚💚#joker out#personal#thanks for listening to my rambles <3
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we'll find out if i feel up to putting this anywhere else, but have some post trimax knives and domina???? look, i stopped to think about the fact that domina's the only independent plant we for sure know knives absorbed so i thought "well she should get to haunt knives after everything" and out came. two plants sharing one body because they don't have the energy to make another, i guess??? knives might be dying. neither of them know for certain.
i sure don't.
enjoy?
~~
"He doesn't want to talk to you," Domina says. "Our body flooded with fear upon hearing your voice."
Vash the Stampede sits across from her in this worn out little diner he found them in. Two drinks, rising to room temperature, sit on the table.
To Domina’s inexperienced eye, he looks tired.
[hes been drinking]
[are you sure?]
[yes]
“What do you want?” Domina holds her drink in their hands to not do what Knives would do right now and put a knife through the Stampede’s hand so they can leave. Running is also off the table, as the only exit to the diner is behind Vash the Stampede.
[we can put a hole in the window shatter it with our elbow]
[shut up not yet]
[we can run]
[running will imply things we dont want not yet]
“Well?”
A number of expressions flick across the Stampede’s face before exhaustion settles in like an old lover.
“To talk to my brother,” the Stampede says.
Adrenaline floods their body. It is not Domina’s. She carefully does not think about Knives’ suggestion of shattering the window to run.
Run, and not fight.
It goes against both of their natures.
But Knives is always exhausted and Plants call out for their help in a way that Domina couldn’t hear before. Sometimes their thoughts merge. The urge to run is both hers and not, and this is not how Domina wanted to meet Vash the Stampede.
Domina used to have all of space between herself and that which she feared. She had the power to eliminate them, even though it was locked within her. The Joining revealed that. Now she is the companion to a dying Plant. The tiniest Hive of two, barring when they connect to one of the Sisters.
“No.”
The voice is her but also Knives, blending into harmony.
The Stampede flinches.
“Don’t follow us,” Domina says. She carefully releases the cup before it shatters in their hands and stands up.
And leaves the diner. Vash the Stampede can pay for the meal they haven’t eaten.
Their thomas honks and bumps its head into their chest when Domina unties it from the hitch. She gets on the creature and goes to leave.
“Wait!”
[can’t let us leave in peace]
“What do you want now.” Domina doesn’t look at him, doesn’t look at the face that looks so close to the one she now sees in the mirror.
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to convince you to make him talk to me.”
[hes right]
[hush]
[not for a very long time anyway]
“But… be careful. There are people looking for you.” Vash sighs and adds, “People looking for you both.”
“Go back to your people, Vash,” Knives says. “Let us go.”
Vash the Stampede sucks in a startled breath.
“A couple of your people survived. The woman with the nails. Wolfwood’s brother.”
“Zazie.” Their lips curl in a snarl. Betrayal and hurt and a dash of fear simmer under their skin. “Zazie is still around as well. You be careful,” Knives says. He taps the thomas’s side.
“Goodbye, Stampede,” Domina says.
They take off into the early morning sunshine.
Vash lets them go.
#myde writes#knivesanddomina#trigun#trimax#millions knives#domina trigun#vash the stampede#is knivesanddomina romantic or platonic?#i dont know#i dont think THEY know#im now Attached to these weirdo plants who stole their space horse and just travel around the planet#running#always running#knives doesn't want to talk to vash and domina doesn't wanna talk to chronica#they're fine#they're coping :)
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pearlrose content
wanna see how ive been writing all these episodes? spoiler: it was not written with the intent to be read. but its really cute if you can get past and decipher my writes. (also im not 100% sure i like how i did this. may redo this one.) pls feedback. also @rosenotactuallyquartz i think you may like this ((im sorry abt the near daily tags))
under the cut so dashes don't get flooded
greg wakes up. gets coffee. gets breakfast. sits outside. frown.
rose floats over.
rose: good morning greg!
greg: hey rose.
rose: what's the matter? :(
greg: i was hoping you wouldn't ask.. im not doing great.
rose: why is that?
greg: i thought i'd be so happy that you're back. i thought i'd still be completely in love with you like i was before, but.. i just don't feel it anymore. im sorry.
rose, frown: that's okay, greg. we can be friends. i understand. i disappeared for 14 years- not that long to me, but that's a long time for humans. i understand if your feelings changed. especially with all my.. mistakes… revealed. im just glad you told me.
greg: are you sure? its okay to be upset, rose.
rose: i dont follow human relationship dynamics. im a little sad, sure, but you're still a friend. its not the end of the world.
greg: as long as you're okay.
rose: i am. don't worry about me, greg.
greg: okay.
she looks at him with a smile before flying off back home. she walks in.
tumblr note: im really unsure abt the breakup thing honestly. it feels weird especially how she just instantly goes to pearl. tell me ur thoughts yall!
stv, eatin chaps: hey mom.
rose: hi steven. wheres pearl?
stv: ooooooo-
rose chuckles: oh, stop it.
stv: i think she went to her room. she's been in there a lot recently.
rose: huh. alright, thank you steven.
stv: no problem.
rose goes into pearls room.
rose: pearl?
pearl quickly gets up: y-yes rose? sorry, i didn't know you were coming.
rose floats on over: i would like to talk to you about something.
pearl,😳: o-okay.
rose: i know how you feel about me. but im not entirely sure you understand how i feel about you.
pearl looks away: but- greg.
rose, chuckling: pearl. i talked to him just now, and he told me he doesn't feel that way towards me anymore. and from what i understand about human relationships, being with multiple people is a bit of a problem. ive always loved you, pearl. i knew either this would happen, or he'd… reach his time at some point. this was always going to happen, pearl. i don't need future vision for that.
pearl: i-
rose tacklehugs her to the ground and they roll around happy. pearl happycries
rose: ohh, my beloved pearl. not my pearl, but my beloved pearl. does- does that make sense?- oh my- (starts laughing)
pearl, chuckling softly: i know what you meant, rose.
rose: okay. good. le smoochie
pearl: i love you, rose. so much.
rose: i love you even more.
pearl: no, i do.
rose, chuckling: oh, pearl.
they smile at eachother.
stv: that was the cutest thing i've ever seen in my life.
pearl extremely embarrassed: STEVEN!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE-
rose: pearl, its okay. they're all allowed to know. we don't need to be a secret. besides, garnet probably knows anyway.
pearl: o-okay. but steven please don't do that again.
stv: it was so worth it. i will never forget this.
rose: alright, steven. can me and pearl talk in private again?
stv: aww mann. okay. (leaves)
rose: you don't know how badly i wanted to be with you. always. it hurt that i couldn't be there for you for those years.. trapped in his gem. i wish i could've done something, but i just couldn't. believe me, i tried.
pearl: its okay. its not your fault. you're here now, and that is enough for me. (squeeze hug cry) im sorry for crying so much i cant help it.
rose: let it out, pearl. its okay. (soft hug n comforts back, headpats and otherwise adorable shit)
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AWH FUCK YEAH THE REFRENCES FOR THE REGIONS AND SLUGCATS ARE DONE!!!!!!!!
All the stuffs under cut cuz i dont want to flood peoples dashes lol
REGIONS:
Rusted Platform
Overgrown Facility
Dead Desert
SLUGCATS:
Comin out with a huge infodump on flashfloods lore and shit so i can tell more about all this on there
Serpent and Vermin got name changes!!
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Hello there, thanks for stumbling across my blog!
(Here's a lil comic I made for a school assignment)
Artblog: @chronicallyartistic
Audio drama blog: @chronically-listeningtopodcasts
I'm going to start putting my social energy levels in my bio... There's a lot of stuff I want to respond to but i currently dont have the energy to do so, and so if I don't respond within like a day, check my bio and see that...
Who am I / Where else can you find me?
First of all, feel free to call me Eli!! I'm on the waiting list for an autism diagnosis. I am agender and aroace-spec.
I am verrryyy enthusiastic about the things I am interested in (hence the URL hehehe). And currently, those are: podcasts (theres a list at the bottom of the post), good omens, ofmd, bbc merlin, star trek!!!!, lotr, and probably more things that I am too tired to think of right now!
I use the queue! Im not awake at the ungodly hours i sometimes am seen posting at, I just dont want to utterly flood peoples dashes! I do reblog fandom stuff and things ive added anything to immediately, so if you see a few posts in short succession, im online!
I am a very big fan of the oxford comma and double brackets. Semicolons are pretty cool too. And ellipses are incredible.
i love all of my mutuals dearly!! Making cookies and hot chocolate for you all <33
I try to use tone tags as much as possible!
Boundaries:
Things I am okay with sharing/doing:
My age, gender/sexuality, things about my guinea pigs!!, and most other things
Things I am not okay with sharing/doing:
The city I live in, pictures of me/anyone I know, my full name, my birthdate, my phone number/email address, meeting up with people irl, sending/receiving money/gifts, dms (<- though if we're mutuals and interacted a lot dms are fine!!)
^ this applies to everyone im not in the discord with
I will let someone know if they cross boundaries, and *really* would like other people to let me know if I cross theirs!!
DNI: people who are here to spread hate and anger. Just, stay away. I dont engage in discourse. I know DNIs dont deterr these people, but this is a demonstration of my core values :)
Tags:
(At the top cause otherwise it will get lost) ALSO #tw body horror
I block quite a few tags but most notably #tw war and other ones to do with the war in israel/palestine. This is not because I don't care. I care so so so much about what is happening and I cry every time I see a post about it. It breaks my heart that such horrible things are happening. However, I really struggle with high empathy, and seeing a post about it can really affect me for a while, and I need tumblr to be a safe space away from the real world problems. If I follow you - please could you tag things to do with war. Thank you <3
Updated to clarify - I do block the generic tags such as Israel and Gaza, which most of the posts are tagged with by the op, so if you forget its no big deal!!
A list of all the podcasts I listen to because y'know, its fun:
Fiction:
The Amelia Project
Wooden Overcoats
The Adventure Zone
Sherlock & Co
Alba Salix
Unseen
And a whole lot more that i no longer listen to either because they havent updated or they are a little too creepy (Welcome to Night Vale falls into the latter category)
Science:
The Sci Guys
Lets Learn Everything
Lingthusiasm
A podcast of unnecessary detail.
Comedy/other:
Dear Hank and John
The Unmade Podcast
Books Unbound
Lateral
A book list of recommendations from mutuals for my own use:
abigail by Magda Szasbo (@mack-anthology-mp3)
The Alphabet of Candice Phee (@jamie-dinow)
A list of music reccomendations from mutuals:
in the lap of the gods revisited by queen, why can't i be you by the cure, pyramid song, and lucky & the tourist by radiohead, when the sun hits by slowdive, dancing barefoot by patti smith, tangerine by led zeppelin, autumn sweater by yo la tengo, rubber ring by the smiths, water by pj harvey (from @/mack-anthology-mp3)
imi hendrix’s all along the watchtower (from @/catholickedd)
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Just wanted to give you guys a life update In case you are wondering why i havent drawn any art lately, I recently (as in a week ago was the first session, and last monday was my second) started group therapy and its taking up a lot of brain bandwith!
Its definitely helping me a lot but its also making me super mentally tired which makes me focus more on household tasks, video games and resting. Outside of doodling random things and doing quick gesture studies of stock images in my sketchbook, i do not have the drive to do art.
I know that my art will be much better after this/that im about to level up but it does feel a lil frustrating. I mean as of writing this post it's the 25th of january and ive only completed 3 whole artpieces since the start of the year. Which is kinda conflicting with my goal to draw more art this year compared to last year. But I know it's best to just listen to my body and wait this out. It will just probably be a long wait since I still have 10 sessions to go augh I do hope my drive to do art comes back before that but no way to predict it There's a lot of big things I want to do this year (get a dog, get an rp world started, continue therapy, weekly art activity outside house, draw more, get people interested in my ocs more) and I think my brain just still needs some time to adjust So yeah that's why there havent been any art posts! I know you guys are patient, but I just wanted to let you guys know what was up owo For now I will continue flooding your dash with chickens, fish, other misc animals, cool art i found and currated memes/funny posts (as well as activism). And of course i will reblog the heck out of my friends, you should check them out I am still open to answer asks however! Be it about me, my art or my characters or headworld! So dont be shy :) Anyway that ends my life update, i should probably cook myself some dinner, byeeeeee
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I was always kinda under the impression that tagging things was better so people can block the tags for topics they don't like, but now that I see how flooded my favorite one piece tags are I never wanna do that again. Sorry for contributing to the spam!
it still is, in my opinion! thats a huge part of the reason why i try to tag everything i post, aside from like... general indexing purposes. tagging content helps keep the dash clean for people with rigorous blacklist/filtering setups (like me). it makes complete sense to tag things that are character/ship/etc. content (<- i hate that word but you know what i mean; art, writing, jokes, meta, etc.) or community posts (questions, calls for fics/art, commission announcements, etc.), both reblogs that dont show up in the tags and especially original posts that do--because the latter is, like, what the tags are for.
what irks me are like... tangentially-related original posts that people tag for exposure. personal posts that dont have anything specifically to do with the character/ship, but get tagged anyway even if theres something implied or if op likes it. or people just straight up including things that are... unrelated? its hard to articulate without being specific but im trying to avoid that, but... like, people who follow your blog know what youre into, so thats the audience youre posting for... u dont have to blast small-scale/personal text posts (in my opinion) because the people who you want to see it will already see it by virtue of following you. thats your house. i dont open my windows and yell about where im parking to my whole neighborhood... we share the street... theyre right there... u know.
#this literally was not/is not about anything or anyone specific!!!!! i wasnt trying to call anyone out or anything!!!!!!!!!!!#it;s a thought ive had for a while and theres just been Lots lately#because of the adaptationnnnn you know#i really think it boils down to the fact that there's no algorithm /really/ on tumblr so overtagging is like...#unnecessary and actively harmful to the way the site works as opposed to a minor and ignorable inconvenience#answers
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So i stop flooding peoples dash im gonna just make this a group, the tag is #livechatter
Im rambling about my life because i feel like it
mean in all reality they have saved me from a lot of bad people and bad things i just i dunno if i can belive that every single person i meet is some kind of malicous creature or person with bad intentions...its been years and im outgoing i like people but ive had to cut off most people because the gods told me some shit about them that was scary or my divination read something was up
I just dont know but i dont want to risk it...
But like, how many demons can one person come across and how many just so happen to be bad news for me
3 confirmed and funny thing is one of them actually scarred me both physically and astrally /wild/ one was my childhood friend who had a crush on me and also decided to get into a pact with a demon for ...funzies... but i cant recall if she had the bloodline or not because the last one who was actually super chill was following a family tradition
so yeah when the gods say "hey psst beckys a demon" im gonna be like "well golly gee 3 out of 3 demons the gods told me about were demons i wonder if this person is in a pact with a demon
and typically /usually/ me and demons dont get along, they find my energy tasty ig. Like demons are fine they are but like they just want to eat me usually or theyr mad at me on sight :")
But in any case im gonna belive it, its just...really?? I know im a beacon but seriously? Every person i meet is some mischievous or negative entity. I get out here fae are more common but /everyone?/ really? I dunno man i cant just be running into every non human on the planet both online and irl or if theyr normal theyr just the most shit person you can be to an almost cartoonish extent.
/idk man/
But i stare at my pendulum the one i warded clensed banished shit on and used rituals to invoke a gods name and boom its just "yup this ones no good"
Like...OK??? THEN WHO IS??? And theyll set me up with people and it never goes well like it always falls through because the people i click with just arent good enough??? Or they just all want me dead?
Am i the problem? Like its me or its them and theyr gods like idk idk man im lost im so lost, how can nobody be ok how can so many people just want to hurt me on sight am i seriously that pathetic looking?? Or are they playing some kind of protective roll? Thats kind assuming a lot about them
What are the fucking odds theyd just be over protective
Im kinda whirlling right now because i think i figured it out, Apollo always expressed guilt over the whole imprisonment thing even though that was literally my fault for directly disobeying his very clear instructions for some guy, yeah thats an embaressment ill never live down
Im wondering if Apollo felt bad and now hes just being really harsh on anyone who comes near me, i only wonder this because he had been around for a really long time before he helped me escape my home/cult
But like ive asked others too
In the same pantheon
That was responsible for a lot of fucking trauma
Who like most of them have a reason to be harsh on people
I just wonder what would happen if i asked maybe Zeus instead of literally anyone else besides maybe some of the goddesses.
Oh godsssss i think ive just deadass been asking the wrong people because everyone else is bias and angry at people
Jesus christ i knew it was my fault if i had just thought about it for a second and got my head out of the ground i wouldve seen it
But still i could be wrong so i need to go ask Zeus with my pendulum and see whats going on before i go removing anything...im also wondering what other people have to say about this because im honestly so tired of shutting up about my weird ass life
Pendulum with Zeus:
Is the reason i keep getting a no on my friends because everyone else is bias and angry at people
Yes
Will you give me non bias direct answers if i contact you?
Yes
I get so specific with my questions because if it can only say yes no or maybe i want to narrow it down as much as possible, questions are phrased intuitively or auto written but some times intentional, more gently guided though.
So i figured it out by live journaling basically...nice, ok so this is weird...but when is it ever not hhh
Thats sweet honestly, if it weren't so suffocating...i cant belive this this has taken me literally 3 and a half years to figure out and i just had to talk to Lord Zeus??? Hhhhhhh oh my gods
Going to him more often now honestly
I wouldve never guessed that i think i think too lowly of myself if it took 3 and a half years to realize they care enough to be mad at people who caused me like, irreparable damadge hahaaaa
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Hey bhai listen,, i know we don't interract much but i want you to know i see you a lot on my dash and most of the times its you making others happy. You respect everyone and youre always flooding my dash with flowers and cute animal pics and you dont know it but it makes my day a little better every time. Sure, it was a little immature of you to just straight up call someone ugly just for the fun of it, but you didnt deserve the harassment.
Idk tbh. I wonder if people actually need love. Love lost its value long ago. People wont remember the good things you did for them. But will remind you of your one mistake. Thousands of efforts dont matter when they can forget your efforts in the blink of eye
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