#i dont want a compartmentalized movie

[uchuuryokou]

i will not be watching 6-8 episode tv series.

honestly i will not be watching 95% of 10 episode tv series

yall need to find god and start making 26 episodes like he intended

[cassyapper]

"I believe we did."

"you dont get to commit the sin and then ask us all to feel sorry for you when there are consequences"

uh okay minor oppenheimer thought dump. it's not gonna be super long cause im still musing i think

in terms of what it is, well made film. the script had really powerful lines and they were delivered very well by really good actors. and the score...jesus fuck. i think it might jsut be me hearing things but the film ending with the final note of a song that sounds like an air raid siren oughhg

there's definitely room for criticism (both historical--accuracy-wise and film-making wise) but i do like the movie for what it is. i didnt find it enlightening per se cause i already knew a lot of the basic facts going in (or at least, the facts presented in this movie), but the presentation of it was so harrowing it's hard not to be affected. and that being said, i do think the film does a good job of presenting the impact of the atomic bomb in a way (ie, a (white) americentric way) so that certain groups of americans can finally understand why dropping the bomb was a bad fucking idea but only time will tell if that was successful. it'd be nice if i could stop seeing people say "well we had to" as if it was fucking america's hands tied behind its back. anyway

one thing i want to say but unfortunately i'm still not quite sure how to phrase is how i feel/what i got out of this movie as a white american soon-to-be-scientist. like, some details really gathered my attention, particularly about compartmentalism (an idea very anti-modern science...hiding your work like that from your countryman colleagues/the entire world of science at large would not fly today. clarity is very important. and especially in america, the events of the mid 20th century are really why it became proper etiquette to be absolutely transparent and i just think this film did a good job of explaining that even if unintentionally), how science and politics and ethics go hand in hand despite many white american scientists pretending so so hard otherwise for so long, and how oppenheimer was perfectly fine stealing native people's burial grounds from them to gain his own glory, but only grew a conscience about it later when it was clear the government would not give the land back and would build an h bomb with or without his assistance (so no glory for him there) and how that's reflective of well...modern colonialism honestly. it's a very "it's not about control it's about science!" excuse right now (see the mauna kea incident for example). speaking of, i really like the breakdown of the like mythical figure of oppenheimer. he is presented as the coward he 100 percent was in this film and you're not supposed to feel bad for him really -- maybe just kinda somber because of the greater whole (that being said i do wish they cemented this a bit more...)

it's definitely tonally a horror movie to be quite frank. which i think is only appropriate considering its subject matter

hm. yeah that's all i can say rn. it's late and i'm tired so im sorry if some of this is worded weird, i def have some runon sentences. i hope my points are apparent nonetheless

[star-mum]

Kinda Crazy to be not in the wrong ig (friends can be fun to hang with AND be terrible to you)

Actually shared with my sister what happened and when she said "I have a controversial opinion" I thought she'd say I was overreacting and not that I "should've stopped talking to that girl ages ago" huh maybe it's not a silly reason to be upset after all

like hey remember that time she invited me over to her house and not 2 hours later asked me to leave cause she had to go out with other friends

or when she said she "had" to go somewhere when we set up to call/watch smth together and then let slip in class to our other friend that she went to play volleyball with those same friends from the other time

or when I shared with her I had tried an at home workout and the warm up was very difficult and she shared that to our (male) friend in a jabbing tone (making even him a bit uncomfortable, to the point where he tried to softly defend me)

OR !!! when she insisted I went to a coffee shop with her and her boyfriend and went quiet and got an attitude in the middle of the outing (even when we kept trying to engage her in the conversation)

OR in that same outing when she shared a video of the move we tried at muay thai that week and laughed to her bf about how I barely got it done, even though when we were at the gym I was self conscious about it and she reassured me that it was an advanced move and I was doing very good for a beginner because me getting along with her boyfriend "made her jealous" (girl i don't want you bf) (i don't even know how YOU want him) (im here cause you asked me to and im making an effort to be nice)

OR when even tho we had made plans to go see a movie together on the weekend, she said yes to an invite to go to a bar on the same day and overall time of the movie IN FRONT OF ME

OR !! when we made plans to watch Spider Verse together and she texted me before we could go and said her bf "bought different tickets" without her seeing and so they saw ATSV instead

OR when her boyfriend was very rude to me for no reason in front of our entire class and SHE came to me later to apologize FOR HIM cause "he lashed out cause he's going through a lot"

OR when I was crying (which I don't really do often, specially not in public) one that same day and she felt conflicted in staying with (when I ALWAYS make sure she's okay on the hundreds of times she left class or called me crying) or staying with her bf who was "a little bit upset" (he had to tell her to go talk to me)

or when she does something that bothers or annoys me and I communicate it to her (like we agreed we'd do, so neither of us get that uneasy anxious feeling) and she says stuff like "you dont hate me now right?" or "im sorry im such an awful friend" or "I'll understand if you dont wanna be my friend anymore" making me compartmentalize my own bad feelings to reassure her (even tho she's in the wrong)

OR !! For completely disregarding the plans we made to watch this show (that i was very excited to see your reactions to) together, only to watch almost half of it with ur boyfriend literally the night before AND keep me waiting all day for a reply the next day, only to be very nonchalant about the mean thing you did

OR !! always making me bend over backwards to fit into her "busy schedule" but not making the effort of CREATING time for me in her schedule

I'm gonna be enjoying the end of this lovely Carnaval week (god bless national holidays) with a clean conscience and will be amicable when returning to class on monday (at best)

is so weird to actually get older sister advice cause i have a "old wise character" syndrome where I think I know everything (I failed to do what past me did at 16 without even flinching) (it'll be weird to cut this person out of my life) (but I will not stay where I'm clearly not wanted) (well... maybe wanted but not treated with care and love)

[malhare-archive]

I feel like Im always walking a perilous tightrope because I have both super edgy and super cutesy/”childish” interests at the same time

[anneonomus]

My brain any time I consume a new piece of media ever:

[catnpc]

there is just something a little disheartening about the widespread acceptance of disney-branded "representation," be that lgbt rep a la the owl house or representations of different cultures/poc like in their new batch of movies. like. i dont want to diminish the importance of representation to members of the communities impacted, but at this point it kind of feels like that isn't/shouldn't be enough?

disney as a corporation is still stomping on the rights of vulnerable groups, as they are wont to do under a capitalist economy, and they are using their branded media to place salve over the wounds they've caused and pretend like what they are doing elsewhere is just one facet that can be compartmentalized and then forgotten in some sort of game of public cognitive dissonance. its a neoliberal fantasy of progressive politics situated squarely within the corporate/capitalist culture sphere that, in the end, seems to function overwhelmingly to the benefit of those who own capital and are in positions of power, not the groups being "represented" in disney products.

i think we would all do well to remember that when we get the urge to post and gush about whatever newest piece of media disney has put out to try to save themselves. representation is not always enough or the end goal, and it's not always benign, either

[cometcrystal]

Tell me very simply what part of his character you think sticks with the average viewer and fundamentally sets him apart. What exactly is his purpose? What is generally characteristic of him? With every iteration of him being so vastly different and yet so subtle, it's actually no wonder no one knows exactly what to make of him. Even having watched all iterations. In a general, big picture kind of sense, the statement "Fred has no personality" is absolutely valid. He is not much more than "the guy" who some writers desperately try to write some edge into once in a while.

"What exactly is his purpose" his original purpose was to exist as an all-american white boy that parents would have approved of, to contrast the subcultures the rest of the gang represents. He was the leader of the gang to start with for this reason.

"What is generally characteristic of him" definitely his seriousness. He is always 100% genuine, straightforward, and serious about everything he does, leading him to be the straight man in some cases, and the butt of the joke in others. He treats every situation with the same judgement and wants to be taken seriously and respected.

Which ties into his role as leader. He is the leader because he knows how to divide and conquer, because he knows his friends' skillsets, and because he's deeply loyal to them.

Shaggy and/or scooby is not the leader because they 100% dont want to be. Velma is not the leader because she works better behind the scenes, analyzing from a distance, and wouldnt enjoy being the head of the group (and they all listen to what she says anyway bc shes smart and they trust her). Daphne is not the leader because she is too reckless and works better as a force of nature that the others set loose. Fred IS the leader for all the reasons i mentioned.

He feels responsible for everyone else's wellbeing. If one of them gets hurt, he would blame himself. Cause he's the leader and everything falls back to him, in his mind. All of the things I've mentioned here are throughlines in his character thru the entire history of the franchise.

To answer your question, i think a lot of people think of him as bland and/or selfish is because of a number of reasons

They only remember sdway from when they were young (this ties into the stereotype that daphne always gets kidnapped even though it really doesnt happen THAT often)

The writers for the 2002 movie went with the above interpretation that he's a blank slate and borrowed some of pup fred's personality to make him a stereotypical self-absorbed chauvinist leader who takes all the glory

People watched the 2002 movie and just went with that

Cultural perception being warped because scooby doo is one of the most well-known franchises in the world so ofc people are gonna get stuff wrong about it. A similar thing happened to captain kirk from the original star trek when he got remembered as a womanizer.

Fred Jones is definitely the most Conventional out of the gang if you wanna generalize. But if a character has a personality that doesn't fit within the stock tropes, people will compartmentalize. The same thing happens to Daphne.

So i think, to some people, he DOESN'T stick out, because theyre expecting things to be a certain way, or they insert narratives to make it so. The same way people would think of Mario or Mickey Mouse as being bland, general characters. But that doesn't mean the canon supports that. It just says more about the fact that people grow up and stop caring about cartoons, or assume a franchise like this can't have more than one or two good characters. It's much easier to assume things w stuff this universal

[twopoppies]

I think I might fall into the grey area that anon was talking about? I'm going to have to agree and disagree with the commentary on DWD as a bisexual woman. I can't speak for all bisexuals, just myself, in case other bisexuals disagree with this. I know what it's like not to be excepted and hide, as do pretty much most other queer people do. I want Harry to be free to do as he wishes and not need to have a PR/beard. I want My Policeman to do far better than DWD, and get well earned awards while DWD doesnt, and I honestly wish Harry never took the DWD role. I'm afraid of these types of storylines and dont like violence. Harry being in this movie doesn't change that so I won't be seeing and supporting it at least not while it's in theatres. That doesn't mean I'm happy that Harry wants to show his range and succeed, but I personally don't support this film because of the themes and because of who is directing it. Violence is not inspiring or sexy even if it's Harry acting it out so I'm not squeling like the het harries who make sick jokes about wanting a violent man but I also won't pretend that as a woman, I'm not the least bit joyful to see harry kiss a woman (if you see how I compartmentalize separate these things) or pretend not to think Harry isn't as attractive as he is, knowing that Harry is most certainly not the character. Hope I didn't come across like a jerk because I don't mean to be rude at all

No, you don’t sound like a jerk or rude at all. I get where you’re coming from. This genre is not my cup of tea, either. I think a lot of the people squealing really don’t know the storyline, or understand why Harry’s character looks so aggressive while they’re kissing. But so many of those people seem to like that fictional “dark” version of Harry (the one who “After” was written about) better than the actual Harry, so they’re eating it up.

I can recognize that both Harry and Florence are gorgeous people, and it’s nice to see attractive people together. But that teaser really doesn’t give any real sense of the film, or look particularly sexy. But hopefully she’ll do a better job with the actual trailer.

[jennamacaroni]

I guess the communication between Dani and Jamie seemed much healthier to me even if the circumstances were kind of similar (in a way). I just really can't get over the fact that we're supposed to accept that everything is hunky dory without anyone addressing the lie that started the drama for Abby and Harper. Even though I sympathize with Harper a lot (I'm not out to my parents), her relationship with Abby didn't seem okay to me. And I didn't think how they got back together was charming at all

harper waiting to tell abby until theyre literally on the way to her parents was trash i agree, and def couldve been told differently. def not saying happiest season was a perfect movie in any way, but it was never going to be perfect. most of my frustrations with sooo much media today is lack of open and honest communication that is the only thing driving the plot. makes me crazy really bc i feel like it perpetuates similar behavior in the real world. life imitates art or whatever.

but for me the true nature of the story is showing that part of being in a serious and long term relationship is riding the waves of conflict in melding your life with someone elses. shit is not easy. it seems like pre-home visit harper compartmentalized her family and their expectations so tightly and probably never told abby how toxic her relationship with them was until its explicitly revealed in that basement scene when abby is packing her things and harper is freaking out. and thats the real crux of the movie to me: even after all the shit harper puts abby through, abby has been there watching this all go down and its not hard for her to realize that theres this big part of harper she didnt know before. and its fear, which is such a motivator for hurting. so abby recognizes this really isnt about her and immediately try to soothe harpers fear. because thats what you do when you love someone. even when they fuck up and treat you badly. you try and level with them and you forgive them.

i think what is tricky about storytelling is as a writer, you dont want everything to be explicit. that makes for a very boring story imo. you want the reader to wonder why, to have to infer, and question, and be curious as to what drives the motivations of characters behavior and to read between the lines of the story. maybe the forgiveness story thread couldve been more drawn out and developed, but i think an epilogue one year later showing them happy and engaged leaves the viewer enough context to get there without it.

still have the last bly ep left to watch so im sure ill have more to say on that later

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Charmed 2x12 Review SPOILERS!!!!!!

Okay let's do this. Sorry I skipped one but times are hectic. For entertainment I give it an 8/10. Same format. Dislikes, likes and highlights

Dislikes

1. Macy Kneeling to Abby.

Let's just get this one out the way. I can see where they might have been going with this.

They maybe are trying to move away from the ambiguous route with abby (trying to make her sympathetic with her whole patriarchy thing and her dead mom) I mean she is progressively becoming more predatory with Harry so with that in mind, this was possibly one of the "abby is really a bad person not a feminist as she is only out for her own gain and not the empowerment of all women". And I can get that maybe they were also trying to show "look Macy is willing to do the most degrading thing possible just for the chance at rebuilding that power of three/charmed bond with her sisters for the protection of the magical community".

But listen.....

We all know Abigael isnt a star feminist. We already know (although we dont exactly know) that she has some sort of plan up her sleeve to be weary of.

There has been too much attempted ambiguity and the main characters letting her get away with terrible things that the message isnt coming across.

Plus Maybe yes showing Macy being willing to do something that really probably hurt all of us (epecially those of us who are minorities) to watch, may have been to drive home the differences between her and Macy and play up Macy's love for her sisters

But like we know Macy and Abby arent similar (as much as you writers tried to play that up at first). And you know just adding more sister bonding moment and just the fact that Macy was willing to go to abby after all the previous stuff was enough to show she was desperate? Maybe just add more sister bonding moments so we can see how dedicated they are to each other?

Maybe? Just saying.

If the writers are finally going to commit to Abby being a full on villian then I guess the seen was worth cementing that she is horrible (sort of).

Here's my question though as I consider whether the scene was worth it. Who is this show for and what is it trying to show? I mean if it is for minorities and women then i can see how showing these historical and current issues (conflict of power and consideration among women where race is concerned) then I guess showing it and having that controversy makes sense. But like we live it.

As minorities we already know. I know I struggle between wanting my experience shown and also wanting to watch something where for once the minority characters arent subjected to that experience. Charmed did better at addressing controversy and women's issues in season 1. I dont care if it was "obvious" or "heavy handed" because when it is not you basically get the kneeling scene where you dont know what the point was, if it was necessary, and are left feeling hurt or bitter about it.

2. Hacy Kiss.

Listen Brenda/on, this is on my like and dislike list. I will mention what I dislike about it.

The first thing is that it was a fantasy. I mean yes I like that we get full on confirmation that Macy has romantic feelings for Harry and not just considering that she might have them, but I honestly hate the fact that they would tease us like that. Especially when Macy is at a low moment. Which I will get into.

They are kinda ruining Macy for me. Listen, at this point they havent given us enough insight into Macys feelings or thoughts to understand why she isnt pursuing Harry. We can speculate and infer based on previous seasons and some of what the writers or showrunners say on twitter, but this season itself hasnt done much in showing Macy's thought process and so it falls flat. It isnt her reluctance to let people in or not wanting to get involved with someone after Galvin since she does pursue Julian and gets serious relatively quickly. She, at least now we it is confirmed, has those feelings for Harry, but is still choosing to be with someone else inspite of those feelings. I hate that. Harry is obviously tempted by abby and is being naive with her, but he isnt pursuing her and has blocked her advances (except the kiss) so far which may change who knows, but the point is if Macy was just casually dating and enjoying Julian's company I would be like okay, still hate that she would lead someone on when she has feeling for someone else, but if its casual there is less of a chance of the other person being hurt.

I cant get behind Julian x Macy, not because of Julian (who so far is perfect and probably going to be a villian or some how connected to the villians because it is a common trope) but because of Macy. Julian x Macy isnt Healthy because Macy knows she has feelings for someone else. She is using him. That isnt to say she doesnt genuinely like or care about him, but at the end of the day she is using him. Which is crappy because Julian so far seems like a great guy and doesnt deserve being the "distraction". I mentioned this all the time but my least favorite love triangles are the ones where one person is using the other.

Healthy would be Macy and Julian being friends while she works through her feelings and then decides who she wants to be with. Not being with someone while having feelings for someone else.

Macy was shown in season 1 to be rational and could be rational to the point of compartmentalizing and coming off as cold. So maybe that is where they are drawing from, but again little effort has been made on the part of the writers to show what's going on in her brain other than that fantasy kiss. And again I am still like....okay so what does that mean in the long run you butts!!!

3. Helen's suicude

I am so iffy about how shows portray people completing suicide. Like on one hand I get that them showing her exercising free will, but suicide portrayed as a positive rather than a tragedy is just....ugh for me. I still am not sure how I feel overall about it.

Lore wise I hate that they use it to explain why Harry and jimmy couldnt kill each other, because in an interview rupert claimed Harry was immortal now because of the elder thing and the show said it in that first episode. So like are both true? So if harry tries to stab himself like Helen will he just end up back in the coffin and alive since she is immortal?

I mean we are 12 episodes in and have about 10 to go so we really should be working towards a cohesive lore and storyline not adding confusing or not well explained layers. The world building they did in the first half was a lot better which makes me wonder what they heck is going on in the writing room.

Likes

1. Parkerita

Let me explain. While I fancy Jordan x Maggie together. I'd prefer that be a slow burn and steady friendship first. Parker seems to be Maggie's first love. It makes sense that she is still grieving and holding on. While I kind of wanted to be done with Parkerita in fairness to all the season 1 romances that where tossed out, I like the nod to Phole. I felt the OG Phole relationship was not healthy, but I liked the tradgedy of it. I think if new Charmed wants to wrestle with that and do it better (although my faith in the writers is low right now) then I wouldnt be against it. I love a good tradgedy and I sat through Phole so I'll sit through this one.

2.Hacy kiss

I love that the writers finally did something to show us what is going on in Macys brain. I need more (not necessarily Harry fantasies but I wont complain if we get more of those). I do hope a real Hacy kiss is a bit different because one one hand the fact Macy wanted to kiss harry when she was feeling down says something to me about how she feels about him and that she still trusts him (but it could, If I wanted to be cynical, just be more evidence that Macy skews towards using people when she is repressing or feeling down although she didnt actually kiss him, if she had I think I would have not liked it in that particular moment given it would have felt more like using him that expressing feelings)

Highlights

1. Abby really thinks no means maybe 😒 . . .

2. Mel is a lesbian magnet and I'd be fine with her just casually dating while all this other crap is going on as long as she is happy

2. Helen

3. These horror movie vibes though!!

[medicalschoolromantic]

Relapse

This weekend was spent with him, and it was amazing. Like nothing weve ever experienced before. I didn't compare myself to the girl he had been with, he reassured me that who he wanted was me and we went out with friends before spending the rest of the weekend just watching movies and cuddling. Last night (monday night), something I thought about triggered me and I asked if he still misses her, to which he responded “yes”. I didnt want him to lie so its unfair of me to have been so angry, but that made me feel so small. We fought the entire night and I kept asking questions that I didnt really want to know the answers to but what I accumulated was that:

He thinks about her everyday

He would be with her if she were to forgive him

He believes that I am a spiteful person for letting her know that we were together the entire time (without me knowing about her mind you)

He thinks this is the end of us

What I dont understand is whether these feelings were always there and just suppressed by the good times we were having, or if he just said most of those things in the moment without meaning them. He has done that in the past, for which he has apologized for. The bottomline however is that this is a toxic relationship, and that I have so much to work on as an individual. But how do I grow and get better if I go to school with both of these people and may see them together if my actions pushed them towards one another? Im so lost and its so difficult to concentrate on this neuro module we began last week. I need to compartmentalize my feelings but thats never been something I have been good at. I sent him a goodbye text, but again I called him. Blocking him wont help because he receives all my messages. I need to be in a specific mindset to not speak to him but that usually involves sleeping around and for some reason thats not something I want to be doing at this point in my life.

[bigmammallama5]

Sooo quick question: Do you like Firefly and are you as pissed about its cancellation as Nathan Fillion, me and everyone else who has actually seen it? I saw your last tag yourself post and it made me realize that I have only 1 friend who has actually seen it and I miss it sooo much!!!!

okay i am VERY split on this decision for a reason.

first off i love firefly (and the serenity movie omg fuck me UP RIVER TAM LOrt) its good campyness and it’s a SPACE WESTERN. the lore and history behind it, the mystery of the reavers, and yes i do miss it.

however looking at it with a critical eye i did hate how the women were treated which is unfortunately just... industry. yknow? can we change that? im ready to change that. also i got really tired of mal’s inara slut-shaming. i think i may have liked the movie better even though it was basically a rushed wrap up of the show. i did enjoy how they were basically a ragtag bunch of assholes who’d sell you out for coin turned family of assholes who might sell you out for coin but probably not.

now there was an episode that im really glad j*ss didn’t get to make, and im going to give you the link to the article/interview and warn you that it mentions inara getting brutally gang-raped by the reavers and i don’t think i would have been able to stomach that when i was younger. (i still cant but desensitization and over-compartmentalization can come in handy sometimes) you can read about it a little more there but that’s the gist of it and why im glad that it isn’t getting continued because ive pretty much had it with j*ss and his paltry attempts at not moving past his glaring faults. also the whole “woman getting swarmed and brutally assaulted off screen and you can only hear her screams” over and over anD OVER in the movie really was overkill and honestly tone deaf. and fuckin. fuckin jubal early threatening to hurt kayleei like that like dude. j*ss what the fuck is wrong with you why are you so obsessed with fucking THAT. i guess he wanted to have his “shock factor” and omg can someone slap him until he understands that it is a shitty SHITTY tired trope and there are literally hundreds of other better/less shitty things that you can use as a shock factor. it’s just insulting and ugly at this point. anyways. can you tell i really hate that trope.

up until i knew that i was pretty pissed that it had been canceled. now im relieved that it was. gah. do i wish it still would continue? yes. but not if j*ss has a hand in it. i dont care if it is his show, i dont trust him not to do terrible harm.

now someone go kick the game of thrones show writer’s teeth in over what they did to sansa.

[klapollo]

i feel nervous articulating this bc i do feel most of these people are probably smarter and more cultured than me (and have resumes to prove it!) but tbh it just feels like the exact pov in the opposite direction, squeezing complex subjects and ideas into adversarial, borderline political fights where you pick a side and make things into bullet points

like for example, i'm seeing a lot of kerfuffle over people (mostly women) taking ire with the new marilyn monroe movie that's an adaptation of joyce carol oates' fictional novel about her. most of this stems from the fact that it seems to aim to provoke for the sake of provocation, creating fictionalized rape scenes perhaps most notably. "cultured twitter" (for lack of a better term lol) seems to be combatting people who are critical of this, and the root cause seems to be that blonde (the movie) must be defended because it is provocative and dark and uncomfortable, and any art that is these things is inherently good and important. while mass-produced entertainment has a dearth of genuine anything and is afraid to offend, anything that goes against the grain in most ways is to be defended. and i think this is shortsighted bc the quality of art is subjective but also sometimes it seems like youre just doing the same thing in the opposite direction. "iron man is good bc tony stark said a funny one liner and blorbo stinkbutt showed up after the credits" and "this movie has artistic merit bc it is difficult to watch" may not be identical but they feel similar to me somehow.

anyway i have more thoughts but this is a long tangent idk if it makes sense i just wanted to say it lol. i dont even mind the pretension it's just the us vs them compartmentalizing and team sports mentality while claiming to be ideologically complex that bothers me.

my controversial (and perhaps very wrong) opinion is that this sort of subculture of people gaining traction online that builds their cultural identity on hating mainstream shlock like cheesy YA novels and MCU movies and simultaneously assigns worth to anything they decide is counter to that are quickly becoming just as annoying as the people they claim to detest so much

[zenyattasperceptrons]

one thing i struggle with a lot is like, the difference between opening up to others and burdening others? and... i do think some of it lies simply in.. frequency, and having a balance in that relationship (i mean unless you’re talking to a therapist or something then go wild) but i do think theres a tone to that conversation too?

idk i used to do it to myself, where i would be like “ugh im really sad about this thing” and then think about how sad i was about that BUT THEN ALSO how sad i am about THIS OTHER THING and THIS ONE and THIS ONE AND AND AND

and just pile shit on! over and over! and that’s... it’s ... weirdly satisfying in a way, because i think depression brain has this itch to feel miserable that i can’t really...explain that well (obviously i dont mean to say people Want to feel miserable! but uh, it can kind of, in some ways, be an improvement over feeling like. like nothing?) and it took me a good long while to just... notice im doing that and go ‘nope, uh uh,’ and yank myself out of it. and it was not a comfortable thing to do. but i dont really do that anymore! I developed different habits and don’t pile shit on like that! which is nice! in its own way

so i think you can... do that when you’re talking to friends. it turns into a dumping spiral and you just pile more and more on and you feel way worse for doing it and your friend probably feels. a little hopeless for not being able to do anything about it (because they cannot. they literally do not have the ability to do anything about that spiral)

and thats. eh. that’s not super great. that’s not even something you’re supposed to do to a therapist though obviously it’s not like, morally wrong, it’s just...not the right path to go down if you would like to handle feelings better.

the other way to do it feels more like... god it, takes a whole lot of like... knowing yourself? and realizing what it is youre upset about or even that you’re just feeling sad and aren’t actually upset about anything in particular (VERY HARD TO TELL THESE APART)

but i. the successful thing i had with this recently is i just. i realized i was upset about something but wasn’t really...equipped to deal with it at the moment. so i compartmentalized that away and BOY i felt super dissociated for the rest of the day! which was! sure an interesting thing to connect like, wow, denying your emotions actually has consequences and That’s Where That Feeling Comes From (this sounds sarcastic but that was legit the first time i put those two things together)

but i came home and i sort of, talked to myself about it? and went “Hey here’s what upset us, what about that was upsetting” and figured it out and wrote some stuff down and after a few paragraphs kinda, got down into it and went “oh okay, that’s why that feels so bad” and accepted that and cried about it and told myself “yeah that’s fucking rough, you’re right to be upset about it, though i do understand also why you might feel guilty for being upset, or guilty for your reaction. those are also reasonable things to feel even if I don’t think you are Obligated to feel them” and i

i didn’t feel Good afterwards, but i felt much more...genuinely sad? which is. hard to describe. but. like theres Depression Sad which is just kinda this slime that sticks on you everywhere and drags you down and just kinda sucks. But then Genuine, Honest Sad is. Like that thing you try to do by watching a sad movie? It’s this chilly bucket of cold water and like man it doesn’t feel Good or Happy by any means but like, you know for a fact that you’re gonna dry off and warm up again. You know you’re experiencing this now and not trying to pretend like you’re not and in a little bit it’s gonna go away and you’ll probably feel less slimy then, too, cause that icewater washed some of it off,

so i think that’s! the tone you can take with friends too? instead of dumping just. “i felt this and it really sucked” and they agree with you that it sucked and you have a cry about it and afterwards you say “thank you for talking to me about this i think i’m gonna be okay” (assuming, of course, that your friend is good at Listening and Support Words, which are difficult skills to pick up as well)

which. mm. i dont think conversations are always gonna go that way. i think sometimes you process something, or even get halfway through it and suddenly go “no no i can’t handle this right now” and that’s...fine too. that’s Morally Okay and simply a part of the process.

But... that’s kind of the ideal of the conversation. And I think keeping that in mind is a good template for when you want to Share A Feel but are worried about burdening someone.

(And also keep in mind it can feel really good for the other person to to have their friend trust them enough to talk to them about this kind of stuff. It brings people closer together and even if it’s a little bit uncomfortable at first, I think it feels really nice afterwards.)

[systemmalfucktion]

All of them , pussy

Do you like resting your head in a boys lap, or on his shoulder? // LAPSweaters or hoodies? // when my bf were his sweaters... woof...Netflix or clubbing on a Friday night? // netflix atmDenim or leather jackets? // leatherWhat’s your favorite thing about boys? // hehe.. everythin..How do you like your tea? // teas grossHow do you like your coffee? // half coffee, half creamerFavorite fall color? // grey cloudsCan you drive? // psychically, yes. spiritually...Do you have a crush? // aaaWhat’s your favorite sport? // debate is MIND sport. tchAre you a pastel, neon, or neutral color mlm? // dont get me fuckin started on neonDo you wear makeup? // noDo you like boys taller or shorter than you? // taller plsDo you prefer hand kisses, or nose kisses? // hands What’s your favorite cologne smell? // bf had sum deodorant sum kinda fuckin cold wolf axe metal bs that smelled good Ideal date? // 2 of us, lotsa food n money, cold night on the townWhat’s more romantic: cabin getaway, or tropical vacation? // tbh cabin bc of woods and fireWhat’s your favorite mlm movie? // this makes me realize how little i watch movies that are gay but for a response i raise to u: spiderman hcDo you believe in love at first sight? // not exactly the way u'd think but i have a philosophy similar to deans where u feel like you were supposed to meet themHave you ever been in love? // YA rnDo you like sitting in a boys lap, or do you prefer when a boy sits in yours?// i sit bithMetal or cloth bracelets? // i had a matching metal bracelet for sum time w dean until it disappeared, i think i like cloth ones that tie so that it doesnt fall off my wrist as oftenWhat’s one of your favorite memories of being in love? // sleeping next to each other cuddling close is good every nightDo you tilt your head to the left or right when you kiss? // i havent thought abt that Would you like to take his last name when you marry? // no its nothing against his name its just that i like my name so much already :PDo you want kids? // yesDo you interlock fingers when you hold hands? // yesWhat’s a compliment you’d love to receive from a boy? // NONE compartmentalizes pls What’s better, waking up to him in the morning, or falling asleep next to him at night? // falling asleep bith. im grumpy when i wake upAny turn offs? // possessiveness/clinginess to an extreme from anyone in general bc of past relationWhat makes you blush? // bein called cute namsCoffee shop or dog park date? // coffee shop!!!!!!Big spoon or little spoon? // im wittle spoonWhat first catches your eye? // hairWould you enjoy it if he bought you flowers? // i'd appreciate the gesture but im not huge on flowersDo you think matching couple outfits are cute or cheesy? // depends. like if i see straights doing anything i revolt but live ur life. i have no standards for fashion Have you ever asked a boy out? // noWhich is cuter, him being confident, or shy? // confidence is always sexeWhat’s one of your fave love songs? // got a whole playlist of them. a song from me to him is gulliotine but he has a way better playlist

[godshipsit]

deancas is peach-you

thanks to @bluestar86 for inspiring this title with this review of 12x12.

so, 12x12 was inspired by Tarantino’s “Reservoir Dogs” (and a tribute to Tarantino). If you haven’t watched the movie, you may give it a go (warning for torture, graphic violence scenes, every kind of slur etc.).

as some people have already pointed out, casually this movie is also full of homoerotic subtext, so much that it’s still used as an example and discussed. This post by @awed-frog explains it really clearly, while this one by @grey2010 tells us what characters in RD match our 12x12 characters.

(i found that post after i had already written this, so consider this meta like an in-depth follow-up to that)

//!! SPOILERS FOR RESERVOIR DOGS UNDER CUT !!//

Of course, 12x12 is not a carbon copy of Tarantino’s movie. Same goes for the characters. It’s hard to say who is who, but this I can say. Dean is Mr White (Larry like the bull) in this episode, while Cas is Mr Orange (Freddie).

If you haven’t watched the movie yet watch it and/or read this. (in any case, read that analysis, it’s fundamental to understand what im talking about).

THE WOUNDED ANGEL

Mr Orange:

;)

Mr White and Mr Orange seem to establish a deep mentor/student relationship in the few weeks they know each other, but… again read this and we can talk about that. :) 

After the diner scene, we cut to White bringing a wounded Orange to some sort of abandoned barn. “So Mr White is Mary!” you may say, but… no. As I said, characters from RD and 12x12 don’t overlap perfectly (it wouldn’t make any sense) and also the story is not the same (that would be plague, not a tribute and there would be no show after the end of this ep).

White tries to comfort Orange in any way, tells him he’s not going to die, at some point reveals him his true name (because Orange asked). The imagery is really, really suggestive. White also holds Orange in his arms, makes him laugh by whispering something in his ear (something we can’t hear), there’s a lot of touching. They’re clearly very close (even if they’ve known each other for only a few weeks). 

Anyway, let’s see some of the similarities.

Orange says that he’s not going to make it, White shuts him down. 

vs

the old-fashioned way .. as in, thanks to a doctor?? 

anyway, orange asks white to go to the hospital, because he doesn’t want to die (he’s willing to risk jail and keep the secret). problem is, white revealed his true name while trying to comfort him (at least that’s what he says), so he and the rest of the team are potentially compromised. this comes up when mr pink (that people identified with mary, but i think in some parts it can be identified with crowley) confronts him. 

now that white has broken the rules, and orange knows white’s true name, orange can’t be taken to the hospital. 

“White has essentially doomed Orange by sharing too much sensitive information with him.” 

(which reminded me a lot of cas being doomed ever since he laid a hand on dean in hell. funny, huh?) 

anyway, pink keeps saying they can’t risk the trip to the hospital, and at one point white loses it. 

MR PINK: WE AIN’T TAKING HIM TO A HOSPITAL. MR WHITE: IF WE DON’T, HE’S GONNA DIE.

kinda reminds of this exchange between crowley and dean (and sam) 

DEAN: NO. THERE’S A CURE. THERE’S ALWAYS A CURE, AND WE WILL FIND IT. CROWLEY: HOW? SAM: WE TRAP RAMIEL. DEAN: AND WE BEAT HIS ASS UNTIL HE GIVES IT UP.

of course crowley doesn’t want to take the risk, ramiel is too powerful. then, he this happens.

vs

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i’d also like to point this out

“(White) is on the verge of tears, but reins it back in. In his mind, he is Orange’s protector and he must not show any weakness, yet it is obvious that he is devastated by the other man’s injury.” 

reminds you of anyone? dean tries to put on a brave face all throughout 12x12, he even tries to lighten the situation despite how bad it is. when cas is on the point of dying tho, he’s about to break down. (jensen was amazing in this episode, like, a m a z i n g). 

(gifs are mine) (he looks like he’s going to be sick)

SUBTEXT INCEPTION 

back to RD, turns out that there’s a traitor in the group, and turns out that orange is a cop undercover. the audience becomes aware of this when white is NOT present. so white doesn’t know (yet). this is great, because the ending of this movie reminded me so much of 6x20 and s6 cas in general that i screeched. 

before that, other similarities. both white and orange have some problems with separating personal and professional life. 

“Like White, Freddy (Orange) has difficulty compartmentalizing. With this off-hand comment, we are made aware of his tendency to humanize the men he’s been sent in to bring down. He is the type of cop that gets in too deep when he goes undercover; he is at high risk of “going native”.”

do we know someone, maybe an angel, who ended up getting too close to the men he was sent to guide/control? i think i know one. 

(whether all these coincidences were casual or this movie was chosen exactly for this, it’s brilliant and im starstruck) 

other scene, orange and white discuss the heist and go over the plan, and everyone’s role in it. after that, white starts explaining how this stuff usually goes. he acts like a mentor to orange.

but here come the best part.

“Orange knows that the LAPD is waiting for the boss, Joe Cabot, to arrive before they move in from where they are waiting a few blocks away. When Cabot does finally make his entrance it is with accusations; he knows that Orange is the rat, the one that tipped off the LAPD to the heist. Orange is almost delirious with blood loss and pain, but he maintains his innocence.”

so, orange is the traitor. cabot, white’s old friend, is 100% sure of this (based on his instinct). STILL, white decides to defend orange. 

“White is aghast at Cabot’s claims. He refuses to believe the man he’s come to care so deeply for is a cop. He demands proof from Cabot, who replies: “with instinct, you don’t need proof.” White draws his weapon on Cabot, his old friend and business associate, and threatens: “Joe, if you kill that man, you die next. Repeat: you kill him, you die next.”

(which by the way is what the spn twitter account tweeted at one point, “if you stab this angel, you die next”) 

if this doesn’t scream dean not being able to believe that cas would betray them in s6, i dont know what else it could scream. (now, these are all nice coincidences, but they still make me want to yell into the void)

im not writing how the movie ends (spoiler: bad), but, dude. man. wow. 

THE DINER SCENE

i suggest you read this amazing analysis always by @grey2510 , which explains why mandy the waitress was great and a reference to the RD diner scene (which makes me believe that this episode was more RD meta than they want us to believe).

you can watch the RD opening scene here. 

mr white and mr orange are, of course, really close even there. as i’ve already said, in the short time they know each other they build some sort of mentor/student relationship on the surface. and what do mentors do? how about, looking for teachable moments? 

i mean, the only thing we have learned from the whole mandy / cas scene is that dean thinks cas is “devastatingly handsome” 

(this was embarassing)

by the way, the diner scene in 12x12 probably deserves an analysis on its own, since we go back to it from different perspectives. mary’s perspective, in particular, is really interesting, since we get this. 

NB. also the “virgins missing" part is a direct reference to the RD diner scene, where they discuss the meaning of the song “like a virgin”. 

ONE LAST THING

as i said, characters don’t match perfectly (duh) and while the set-up of the story is clearly inspired by RD, it develops and ends differently thank god (and the dynamics between the characters are different, of course).

one could say that mary is also the double agent (she’s secretly working for the BMOL), and i say that to many people mary’s arc is mirroring castiel’s s6 arc. which is interesting, since in RD we know that mr white has been fooled by an undercover cop before. 

(no wonder why there were so many references to 6x20 in this episode, a shitstorm is coming)

one cold say she’s mr white, but while she’s the one who immediately helps cas and brings him to the barn, as soon as dean arrives he takes on the role (and the diner scene establishes her as the mr pink of the situation).

one could say this was just a tribute to tarantino, and not in a meta way, but it was fun writing this, so… hope you enjoyed it.

(special thanks to @bluestar86 and @itisa-profoundbond-sarandom for dealing with my excited screeching)