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neverheardnothing · 5 years ago

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black friday spoilers under cut!!! i’m serious!!!

aaaaaa im going to lose my SHIT

really im about to spoil the entire show

dont read if you havent seen it

oh my GOD OH MY GOD. PAUL. AND EMMA. THEYRE BACK. THEYRE BAKC.

AND THE FUCKING LA DEE DAH DAH DAY MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS BACK

PAULKINS. GOD. THEYRE ALIVE. AND FINE. IMGOING TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!!!!!!

“i dont like getting by cars anymore” this is fucking hilarious why isnt ANYONE LAUGHING

“okay okay okay OKAY” ahhhh theyre really perfect for each other

“my buddy bill” hey im going to start crying.

:( this is so upsetting im so sad for this family.

DYLAN SOLO TIME. HIS VOICE. FUCK.

“flash, bang, jane” oh my god oh my god i am on the FLOOR. this is HEARTBREAKING.

this song reminds me of inutil from in the heights fuck. im.

“family emergency” OKAY HIS WIFE DIED. DONT BE SO HARD ON HIM.

COREY SOLO COREY SOLO OH YEAH BOI

also they lit a fire on stage

corey’s character is SUCH AN ASSHOLE I LOVE IT HE’S THE PRIME DICKASS. oh my god wait hE’S MR KRABS

MALL SECURITY. ROBERT BEING A COP AGAIN.

ethan is a Look. the plaid around his waist AND the leather jacket oh my GOD.

oh my god the backing music in this moment is from the trailer. god. i love it.

CALIFOR MIA OHM Y OGD

OH MY GOD IT SOUNDS SO GOOD WITH THE FULL ORCHESTRATION

THE CHOREO WITH HANNAH IM CRYING

OH MY GOD THE HAMONIES. ROBERT.

SMOKE CLUB. IM CRYING.

THE INTERLUDE WITH THE LETTER OH MY GOD IT’S SO GOOD.

BROKE! AS! SHIT!

smoke club hannah.

“that better be fucking floss. let’s go i want a cigarette”

“that’s illegal...... or it should be.” LMAO

WHAT DO YOU SAY OHYEAH BOI

IT SOUNDS SO GOOD AS AN ENSEMBLE NUMBER AND ALL THE HARMONIES ARE IN

corey really is mr. krabs he’s even in red

GIVE US UR FUCKING MONEY

GIVE US UR FUCKING CASH

WHATEVER THE HELL JAIME IS MIMING IS SENDING ME

“and im in a hurry” A MAN IN A HURRY

whatever the hell kind of accent is jon putting on i love it

SKDLFASL;DKSS JON “RIGHT IN T HE SUBPEONA”

“three dollars” god that’s me

OH MY GOD THIS A BACKING BIT JEFF PUT ON HIS STORY

yES I AM LIVING SO FUCKING HARD

i think this is my favorite number so far

THE BEAT DROP GOES SO FUCKING HARD

jon and jeff strangling each other

this is SUCH A GOOD NUMBER AND THE CHOREOGRAPHY

JEFF AND JAMES HAVE REALLY OUTDONE THEMSELVES

GOD I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE CAST RECORDING

this is DEFINITELY the best song musically yet

THE MOTIF FROM SHWO ME YOUR HANDS YES OH MY GOD I LOVE IT

THE RECURRING THINGS FROM TGWDLM I AM LIVING FOR IT S O MUCH

hannah is such an archetype character so far i hope she gets like. More Character soon.

the melody for califor mia returns in the backing here ugh i love it

wow i wonder if these guys have fight call for all this shit

the “eeeeee” noise jon made i just laughed so hard

WAIT FUCK THE SAD PIANO CALIFOR MIA IS IN THE BACKGROUND

WTF ETHAN DIES HERE? WHAT THE FUCK. OH SHIT. FUCK!!!! the first death.

“GIVE ME THAT FUCKING DOLL IM IN A HURRY” OH MY GOD MAN IN A HURRY STRIKES BACK

are we down a tom already too?? jesus fuck i presumed all these characters would die but this is quick.

the reverb/echo on joey’s audio is So Spooky i love it

AHHH THE NEWS THEME BEEPS

the creepy carol of the bells backing music i love it

also is that a fucking barack obama impression

james patting the doll as they all argue is such a mood

OH MY GOD

MCNAMARA

OH MY GOD!!!

AMERICA IS GREAT AGAIN THEME IS BACK

I! AM! LIVING! FOR ALL THE TGWDLM MUSIC REPRISES.

PEIP BAYBEEEEEE.

“just me and a few of my peeps” im fucknig losing it

GOD!!!!! THIS UNDERSCORING I CANNOT HANDLE IT.

intermission

THE NOT YOUR SEED MELODY ON AN ELECTRIC GUITAR

GOD IT SLAPS!!!!!

oh my god found the bit of choreography that looks like it was from the prom

also love the james lauren and robert solo dance number

the only starkids minus denise who can dance

the ensemble numbers in this show are so fucking good

also nice that tom survived. though like. probably not for long considering how this show is going.

tom: i killed my family

becky: yeah but remember us in high school?

did becky fucking kill her husband

LOL YEAH SHE DID

jesus christ what an admission

oof dylan and kim’s voices dont blend that well together and i think one of them is slightly flat on the belt harmonies

oh my god theyre going to fuck in this movie theater during the apocalypse christ almighty

oh hELL YEAH america is great again theme is playing again

“fuck that, fuck that, FUCK THAT!” mood

his face at “birth canal” is KILLING ME

im so ready for jon wiggly to show up i HOPE TO GOD ITS A FURSUIT

jaime is SUCH a good actress like legitimately

is wiggly going to be the new satan in this fandom oh god

this is like if everyone actually worshipped the duck in firebringer

“unless i get what i shit” lmaooooo

wow ok i legit wonder if they have fight call for all these lifts and fights that happen in the show

the demented califor mia underscoring right now i am Living

“well, webby is a stupid bitch!” lol i love this, though i dont love that theyre just using vulgar words as the punchline

the underscoring of dylan’s i want song in this conversation holy shit

space tour vibes with the helmet lmaoooo

“i cant be evil im a status quo democrat!” LMAOOOOOO

oh im finally getting that the streamers on the wall are also supposed to be like wiggly’s mouth

THE ELECTRIC GUITAR IS FUCKIN POWERFUL

UGH YES NOT YOUR SEED MELODY LINE FOR A SEC

o shit nuclear war with russia

“two doors not one” OHM Y GOD OK

FUCK MAN!!!!!!!!!

HANNAH!!!!!

the melody of “aliens invading minds” reoccurring is Killing Me i love it so much

“friday is black for me” oof

oh shit so both lex and hannah have some weird fucking interdimensional power???

this entire fucking show is SO fucking wild like i honestly dont know what to make of it

“THEYRE ALL INTO FORTNITE DUDE” LMAOOOOOOOO

it’s because all the adults are sad and jaded under capitalism lol

tom’s face this entire time is hilarious

dylan’s voice is literally heavenly oh my god

“should i move these boxes first?” cinematic parallels to the should i take this chair lol

“the hat falling off her head” lmaoooo

curt laughing

“is it some kind of joooooke???”

the yoga choreography i am LOSING MY SHIT

evil carol of the bells motif again!!

JAMES’ DEATH DROP UGH YES

lex set a fire and she burned down the mall!

oh man the “what if tomorrow comes” melody is playing and im crying

“WEAR A WATCH” OH MY GOD LMAOOO

also jon saying “what am i going to dowithout my iphone” as a former apple store employee is hilarious

the callbacks to tgwdlm were hilarious

god this song is so fucking good

also robert being hot chocolate guy is hilarious

im so ready for nerdy prudes must die

kendall’s voice is so good oh my god

the harmonies im living jesus christ christ i wish they were sustained though there’s some silences between them which is a bit awkward

and this was only the digital ticket im sure they’ll sound MUCH better with the actual editing in picked from several performances and better on the cast recording.

ok tbh i don’t know quite what to make of black friday yet i will have to rewatch a few times to Really Process it but i do know that there were some fucking BOPS in it. it kinda feels like a bit of a mess

angela did very well singing songs that were originally not written on her voice but u can also definitely tell. i really liked her califor mia but not so much when the song required her voice to be very strong.

and hey at least most of them didn’t die this time.

#teresa liveblogs stuff #black friday #black friday spoilers #sk

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willgayers · 7 years ago

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reddie at a fuckinn,,, office christmas party and eddie is like 'oh finally my chance to talk to the cute guy (richie) that works in HR' but then richie walks in and he's wearing the UGLIEST fucking christmas sweater ever and eddie loses his shit ((idk this just came to mind do what u want with it)) ((((this is kinghanscom ily)))

@kinghanscom MY ACTUAL GOD ,,, I WORSHIP ,, LOVE, AND ADORE YOU

theyre like ,, 25-26 here

office christmas parties… oh god

first of all they’ve been seeing each other in work the whole year, never really talked

they were in the break room at the same time a couple of times but they never really got far with talking

as richie was always busy being the jester of the break room

but one time he winked at eddie before he turned his gaze away to talk to somebody else again

and eddie rushed away with a blush

and his donut

well yeah,,, back to the christmas party:

“hey greta” eddie smiles at the old info counter lady as he walks in

“hello eddie,,, here take this”

she gives him the “hi my name is” sticker

eddie writes “Eddie” on it and sticks it to his baby blue button-up

he grabs a glass of the “champagne” on the tray but its probably some cheap apple cider just put in a fancy glass

eddie sips it and cringes

yep he was right

soon he turns his gaze to the left side of the hall, where laughter is coming from

who else but richie tozier is in there,,, entertaining as usual

eddie bites on his lip because tonight would be a great opportunity to finally talk to the cute scrawny guy

like eddie had no idea if he was gay or anything (at least not according to the awful shoes he wore) but he HAD winked at eddie so???

suddenly everyone starts to disappear from around richie,,, to get more drinks or smoke cigars or something

richie gets left alone,, and eddie notices how he pulls his smartphone out from his pocket and starts to scroll on it

now is your chance kaspbrak

eddie gulps the cheap apple cider down in one take and leaves the now empty glass on the table before making his way to richie

he inhales and exhales once more,,, before he steps forwards

“hey” eddie says

richie turns around, not expecting to see who he did but now a huge smirk takes over his face

“hey!!! its you”

eddie’s gaze slides down to the shirt richie is wearing

its,,, a ,,fucking shirt,,, with a dabbing santa claus riding a grumpy cat reindeer

“what the FUCK is that” eddie asks, nodding towards his shirt, his gaze still stuck on it

richie glances down at his shirt again

“its a shirt with a dabbing santa claus riding a grumpy cat reindeer” he says

“oh my fucking god” eddie facepalms

“what???” richie asks “you dont think its cool???”

“NO i dont think its cool i think its a fucking disaster”

“excuse me i paid good money for this” richie jokes

“wasted money i say” eddie says, and now regrets drinking his apple cider down in one go

he notices an abandoned glass on the table next to him tho so he leans to grab it

“whats your name, flower of positivity?” richie asks

eddie looks at him for a moment, wondering whether this was a bad freaking idea

but then he remembers he’s literally been swooning over this guy throughout the whole year

“eddie” he says “says so in here too”

he points at his chest

“ah! right” richie says

eddie turns his gaze to richie’s sticker

which says

“hi, my name is…

CHICKA CHICKA SLIM SHADY”

eddie raises his brows

“are you kidding me”

richie smirks

“pretty genius huh”

“no. thats awful. and used”

“you’re very negative aren’t you” richie smirks, tilting his head and sipping his drink

eddie had no idea why he was like this tbh

somehow this guy annoyed him to the maximum?!??!!? BUT WHY?!?!?!

just a few minutes ago he was standing in the elevator his tummy turning around at the thought of running into richie tonight

“you’re really weird” eddie just says

richie laughs

“is that all?”

eddie looks at him quietly

“sit down,,, eddie”

richie pats the empty seat next to him on the awful leather couch

eddie hesitates for a moment but then sits down

“so,,, eddie…..” richie starts “im richie”

eddie fake gasps

“so youre not slim shady???” he asks dryly

richie smirks so wide because ?!?!?!??! !

EDDIE KASPBRAK IS FINALLY TALKING TO HIM

(he actually knew his name was eddie already)

(because richie’s got the BIGGEST crush)

(it all started when he saw eddie in the break room the first day and noticed eddie picking out a donut for five minutes and then glancing around to see no one was witnessing,,, he grabbed two)

(and didnt realize richie was outside behind the counter)

(so he asked his name from greta)

(and she told him)

(and the whole year richie wanted to talk to him but thought eddie wouldnt like him so he made sure everyone ELSE liked him first and that eddie would notice richie was actually very likable :(((( )

(ANYWAY BACK TO THE PRESENT MOMENT)

“i knew you were funny” richie says

“i am kinda funny” eddie shrugs

“thats unfair. usually you can only pick one”

eddie frowns

“huh??”

“i mean,, you’re already cute as heck. and you’re also funny?? thats not fair. pick one”

eddie blushes vigorously as his jaw drops a little because holy fuck that was smooth

and richie smiles wide

“youre-”

then all the people march back in from out of nowhere

“HEY RICHIE YOU WANNA COME TAKE SOME SHOTS? JAKE JUST GOT THE VODKA BOTTLE!”

they both stare at the workers,,, and then glance at each other

eddie’s kinda disappointed because he only ever hangs out with three people and richie’s the more famous one

so obviously he’s gonna go with these people

why would he stay with eddie

“no thanks guys im gonna stay here with eds”

“with who????” eddie raises his brows in a excuse-me-what’d-ya-call-me way

“you sure???” the guy who suggested shots asked, a little confused

“yeah” richie nodded “am perfectly comfortable here”

eddie blushes again but this time there’s a small smile to it as he looks at richie

richie winks at him

“okay. fine” the guy says

“BOOOOORING” one of them says from behind him and off they go

“you didnt have to do that” eddie says

“but i wanted to” richie shrugs “why would i care about some vodka shots when i have something much more interesting going on here,,,”

“okay romeo enough with the flirting” eddie chuckles

“why though?” richie tilts his head “i find you extremely flirty-worthy”

“you dont even know me” eddie smiles amusedly

“i know you stole two donuts on our first day” richie says and sips his drink as eddie gasps and his jaw drops

“I THOUGHT NOBODY SAW ME”

“well you thought wrong sweet tooth” richie smirks

“its just,,, who the hell can decide between a raspberry sprinkle and a salted caramel?!?!?!?”

“i totally get you” richie nods understandingly “i feel the same about a chocolate and a crunchy crunchy one”

“YEAH” eddie says “like honestly i think everyone should be allowed to take two donuts. one donut… what the fuck is this, the biggest loser????”

richie laughs

“yeah i know right”

“yeah” eddie says, sipping his cider again

and richie smiles

because wow they havent talked for even thirty minutes but he’s like so fucking whipped already????

“i didn’t tell anyone though” richie says

eddie looks at him for a moment,, his heart swelling up a little

but he doesnt show it outside

“good. because i would have fucking wrecked you”

“oh i dont doubt that for a second” richie says

and he means it

eddie looks at him for a moment ,,, starting to smile but then he laughs

like really laughs

and richie is heart eyes

“whats your opinion on cinnamon sugar though?” richie asks

“its okay” eddie says “kind of boring,, but its okay”

“agreed” richie nods

they look at each other for a moment before eddie speaks

“i gotta confess”

“i am not the father”

eddie laughs again

richie’s proud w himself and smiles

“no,, im serious. i uh,…. i knew your name was richie”

richie raises his brows lightly

“,,,reeeeaaallly????” he asks, starting to smirk

of course eddie did

one of his work buddies,,, tacy caught him staring at richie one day

….

“what are we looking at”

eddie gasped and turned around, seeing tacy wiggle her brows at eddie with a cup of coffee in her hand

“jesus,, how long have you been standing there”

“long enough to notice you’re totally daydreaming about the new guy”

“I AM NOT DAYDREAMING ABOUT THE NEW GUY HOW DARE YOU!” eddie gasped

tacy raised her brows

okay fine

tacy was right

eddie just glanced behind him again,,, looking at the curly haired guy unpacking his box

“you know him???” eddie asked and turned back around

“yeah” tacy shrugged “his name’s richie”

“richie??” eddie asked

“richie tozier” tacy said, turning her gaze to the guy “and i would climb that up like a tree”

“hey! i saw him first” eddie half-joked, frowning and tacy burst out laughing

“calm down, kaspbrak, i’ve got a boyfriend” tacy said. “but if i didn’t, though…. mmmm-mmm-mm-”

eddie playfully smacked her arm, making tacy laugh again

“come on, we got work to do” tacy said

“but-”

“you can talk to him on lunch break”

—-

(he never did)

“yeah” eddie says “my uh… my friend tacy told me”

“tacy?? tacy’s your friend??” richie asks

eddie gets a little bothered

“…yeah why?”

like has tacy done something with richie???

“she’s been flirting with me this whole year” richie shrugs as he gulps on his drink and slouches deeper to the couch and eddie’s jaw drops

THAT BITCH

ok eddie knew she flirted with everyone

bUT STILL

“dont worry. i was actually focused on someone else” richie says,, and turns his gaze back to eddie

whose tummy flips again

“…..reeaaaaallly” he imitates richie from earlier and richie of course notices this,,, starting to smirk

“yeah. reaaaaally” he says

eddie smirks wide back at him, before he notices his glass is empty

“well, richie, my glass is empty.”

“oh my god no,,, we have to change that”

“i know” eddie fake gasps

“that can not happen” richie says and gets up, holding his hand out for eddie who grabs it and richie pulls him up

“at a office christmas party? no way you’re gonna be sober”

eddie chuckles

its music to richie’s ears

they walk to the drink table and get more drinks

approximately a hour and a half later they’re making out hot and heavily inside a broom closet

gotta love office christmas parties

@superbyersbros@xbell22@donthateonk8@stenbroughbros@reddiebrekmyheart@itsgreywaterrichie@donvex@blueeyespurpleskies@ageorgymi@oh-youre-the-worst @eddiekaaspbraak@whipashwhipash@rissyq@richietoaster@edskasqbrak@urtury@bukiminajimu@kcutieeesblog@stansmansuris@adorefack@reddieaddict@icyeyes102@denbroughbill@graveyardshipper@taletellingsir@anxiety-freak-yuuri@rheddie@queertrashmouth@richiefreakingtozier@castletozier@tohzier@80soleff@lonewolfhard@low-key-dying@sad-synth @richietoaster@badboyharrington@beepbeep-losers @temptedtozier @kaspbraccs @kylieee827-blog@sad-synth @low-key-dying @officiallyreddie @reddietofall@stanleyboii@eternitynurarms@remushlupin@turtleneckrichie @rosegoldrichie@80srichie@asteroidbill@lonewolfhard@trashmouthgazebos@littlepointman@finnhardwolf@allison0609@fabulousprinceali @tatiscribbles @s-s-georgie @coralinejones @richiestoziiers@tatiscribbles @bellsd129

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it 2017 #it 2017 fanfiction #hcs

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littlenemoonhbo · 3 years ago

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Hey mom. I went to church and prayed over the matter of the crazy person and Jesus put it on my heart that its best to talk to him since he stole a picture of my birth certificate and the prayer gave me the instinct to check on it so he doesn't steal my apartment. The preacher at the West Park Church (my preacher I booked art/film sessions for 2011-2012 occupy wallstreet before my roommate and fellow occupier died of crack in 2013 (after teddy died they sold me room and then preacher sent me to the shelter over homelessness)lost the room/got forwarded to the shelter after working with the preacher for living and ballerina dance bookings + Christian attendance housing via Occupy Wallstreet. Living at the church for 3 years the preacher robert breuscheur of the west park presyptarian church has become a good friend and source of legal advice about the shelter which I frequently think of sueing (for inhuman conditions I have documented) Im very much afraid of this guy who keeps making paper copies of my information I already got and telling staff he's going to take my a (Preacher robert l breuscheur of the west park Presbyterian church who forwarded me to this shelter after my roommate died of crack in 2013 and his assistant from Columbia University Danielle gave me paperwork validating my work so I didn't have to go homeless. who I worked for under occupy film I visited for help on the stimulus fraud) said this crazy guy at the shelter who copied my info could/wants to file me as an dependent or try and says he's going to pretend to be you filing me as a dependent? The whole thing has become really insulting, he hugs me says were best friends, then says he's gonna committee suicide and then says I don't deserve a mom has gonna spit on her give her Corina Virus tell her to send me to rehab and steal her stimulus calms down offers me medication to help with my narcolepsy and then gets in fights with people. I don't want the guy to get staff to take away my apartment

by bothering them so I learned to talk to no one the guy says he's gonna kill himself daily but the preacher said to check up on him because he has my info. He keeps questioning my sleep labs and gets his medication with a fake name, says he sympathizes with my narcolepsy gives out free weak medications and then screams rehab, I learned not to talk to him, the preacher says he is trying to steal my picture to say he has narcolepsy and went to sleep labs to steal my apartment and telling them to send me to rehab so I can get Corona Virus not him, I walk away after saying hi to be nice.

I tried to kill him with kindness but realize he's schitzophrenic. Its really insulting you that makes me cringe, I told him I was going to Connecticut to avoid him and he keeps bringing it up and drooling on me (This person pretends to have ADD but has schitzophrenic ) (since I told the pasteurize of his insane behavior-fighting any homeless person that came near me "claiming were brothers one second offering me medication to help with my narcolepsy to then START screaming and tell me I don't have narcolepsy and didn't deserve an apartment should die of COVID and need rehab (after being friendly asking about how my treatments are coming along and my student loan President biden school work-he's unstable keeps claiming unto me!

[YOUR]"mother filed me as a dependent and she has my business loan money." As on her believes he's going to steal your social security/by telling YOU! MY! MOTHER! im dead and get my apartment and stimulus by saying he's stimulus shelter help...he keeps saying this daily! Never so insulted! Staff no care! Very afraid preacher Robert Bruecheur at West Park Church says document it.

AND he keeps telling me im LITERALLYthe virus I don't deserve a mother or to go to SCHOOL (when I was praying he told me im satanic and killed her! I documented this for lawyers.)

I avoid staff so I dont get sent away get apartment. Looking into another shelter called Brightpoint Health the church suggested after my most recent visit.

He claims he needed money more looked into credit freeze/social security freeze incase he is using my number. Is literally saying he made my bushwick brooklyn apartment and attended my school of visual arts education. He mimics what I say I dont even think he told the shelter his teal name. said a lot of weird things like he was going to take my apartment/disability for My state apartment "and is giving me a corporate credit card just needs to document me as an emplyee". He jeeps saying really insulting things like he's going to tell my mother to give him my money and "he knows she owes money still on her house". He bought my novel on Amazon.com and is pretending to be me / trying to steal my university of hartford transcript which they wont give him (I looked up credit activity and put a freeze on it. Getting IRS on this! Just aboiding him and following preachers advice.)

He claims hes going to tell "my mother im crazy and expose me to my doctors that I have hypersomnia not narcolepsy and get my mother to give him my stimulus? Very threatening and odd person and gets in fights all the time screams at me after getting in a fight in the street he gonna kill himself if I dont listen to him. I [He doesn't know what this is but appears to believe he can steal my info and apartment placement by claiming im ill undeserving and never went to the school of visual arts or sleep labratories (since he got very jealous! Of my apartment interview! I told him I went to my mothers and he just kept claiming "SHE FILED YOU AS A DEPENDENT: TOOK YOIR STIMULIS YOU NEED REHAB (after giving me my OWN medication he gets under a false name! Says he gonna take my apartment placement and SNAP identification: ALL BECAUSE HE SAW MY PAPER APPLICATION TO FILM SCHOOL+ AND APARTMENT! (Which the state asks for diagnose for President Biden/Shelter to pay for your rent/electric.

Most insane person ever claims he gonna tell the government/STIMULIS and social security people IM DIEING OF COVID! Even said I don't deserve a mom he gonna call her and tell her im dieing of COVID and steal stimulus from me by screaming at my moms im not narcoleptic im a drug addict (so he can steal my apartment! This after seeing my sleep lab photos and doctor papers on getting into new medication! He offers me MY OWN MEDICATION as a friend one minute sees I have narcolepsy and cares about my film school Joe Biden application (and then another second claims I am rehab addict and dont have narcolepsy because he saw my papers saw hypersomnia tells me he worships the devil is going to kill himself, throws chairs to threaten me or scare me (after saying im his only friend he has no family been crying and begs me to talk to him kr he'll kill himself!) and claims he'll have staff send me to rehab (so he can have my apartment) AND CALL MY MOM TO HAVE HER ADD HIm AS A DEPEDNDENT (take my stimulus and demand she give him "the business credit sign off he deserves, because he is going to tell my mother im dead and get her to give him my stimulus money?" Also claims he will tell my mother im dead to switch my social security application in his name (by showing he has my picture over a video and saying I died from the virus? I documeted this encase I have to send this to court/IRS to get the stimulus back. Pure schitzophrenic. I avoid rhis person most days.

HE GAVE ME A BIRTHDAY PRESENT told me im his only friend and then said he was gonna kill himself if I dont talk to him and start a business. Breaks down after veibg friendly and demand I die of corona virus go to rehab to staff and then they give him my apartment (but he's lieing about his real name and going to the school of visual arts which is on my application for the apartment they interviewed me for! The preacher and staff said to ignore him so I guess he cant oretend to be me and say im dead to steal my apartment and call my mom and tell her I killed his wife im satanic )which he claimed when I prayed to Joel olstein….then went back to normal. I am working with the pasteurize from the church on finding other Section-8 housing but he said to stick it through and avoid him,just pray for him, document his words on saying "he's going to call my mom tell her im dead orin rehab to steal my stimulus" and kt listen to his claimms im satanic. Im pretty afraid offended by this guy but will just document for lawyers in case he stole my stimulus. Hopefully I dot have to call the cops. He got in another fight yesterday and said he was gonna kill himself. But tge staff said hopefully I hear back soon. Pray for me. Baby angels love you mom just keeping you updated but I think I have it under control and have a new doctor appointment scheduled, since he stole the phone number and then practice probably will not wish to continue after being heckled. Third time I lost a narcolepsy/ADD sleep lab doctor to tjis shelter. Hope to move soon. Love you mom have a good day at work. Talk soon.

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roxxdafoxx · 5 years ago

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Why I stopped celebrating the holidays...

for me holidays were always a disappointment the decision to not celebrate the holidays can save you money and your sanity its definitely a “rich mans holiday” my grandmother always made it a point to make sure i felt valued she always got me a gift and a birthday cake My great grandmother an I shared the same birth date and having a birthday with my great grandmother was the best now with the exception of a few cousins and my children now that my entire family is dead and after spending every holiday in the hospital ive had a lot of time spent in isolation to learn and get to know myself and God on a more intimate and deeper level not being with family always being depressed during the holidays made me realize why am i allowing these holidays cause me anxiety get me all upset about being able to afford gifts for everyone especially when u have a big heart and the desire to give to everyone id give to almost everyone in the entire world if i could but feeling that way during holidays never sat right with me it would ruin my mood my self esteem/self worth i would feel i had no value like i was never good enough no matter hat i did or gave would never be good enough i would find myself damn near balled up in a corner crying on a day that was supposed to be happy my birthday being so close to christmas put my birthday in the my mind in the “you dont matter box” lol im sure most can relate if their birthday is during that time when most people are getting ready for the holidays while everyone else gets both a birthday present and a christmas present for christmas babies your lucky if you even get a gift in general trying to throw a party around that time is equally as difficult people are just too busy the holiday its supposed to be about Jesus and his birth and birthday although its not even the day he was born a lot of people aint even really thinking about Jesus at all some celebrate christmas and dont even believe in God its just tradition for them and a reason to celebrate and get gifts and its origins have nothing to do with God!!! The origin of Christmas is completely opposite of what most think theyre celebrating and most are in denial that they continue to celebrate a lie with a dark origin they say halloween is a devils holiday but Christmas is too!! the reason the birth of Jesus is not listed in the bible is because God never planned or commanded us to celebrate his birth because he doesnt have a birthdate he has always existed the bible even calls it foolishness (Jer 10) this is the reason people cant wait for the holiday cram to be over with because theyre busy trying to please everyone except God being selflessly selfish and putting themselves into debt is that really the correct way to show people that you care? When u travel a bit when u go through some things when u see people struggle just to have a roof over their head are homeless or living in a shelter or if you think of people in other countries who are just grateful for a pair of old worn out shoes you realize how vain the holidays really are the bible even calls it “vanity” when you look at all the beautiful decorations all the money spent on trees and lights etc u start to see it for what it really is its all “vanity” please believe im not being judgemental i celebrated this holiday before i somewhat celebrated it even tho i was in the hospital i mean you really cant avoid the celebration because the majority is celebrating and it will trickle its way on down to you in one way or another for instance i no longer celebrate and this is my first year deciding not to the nurses bought me gifts along with a santa claus hat that ive been wearing because i love hats its warm im into costumes and fashion but even fashion can be considered vanity we have put ourselves in a place and position that we forgot where we came from and what our ancestors went through.. I loved planning birthdays and surprises for friends, but when it came to me, the favor was never returned. That's when I realized that planning my own birthday or holidays or others birthdays that it was too much pressure trying to please others. it still makes you feel inadequate and terrible. nobody cares Let's be real Everyone is already in debt. Your birthday just became another errand on their daily to-do list. If you invite a lot of people they dont show up or might not bring anything some folks just really are there for the food and a party could care less about you but its just something to do it could mean you have false friendships/relationships in general and you're just there hoping for gifts even fake friends buy gifts too u just never know .... the dark origins is really what made me give up on holidays valentines day is supposed to be about love but i never felt more unloved than on that day halloween aka “the devils day” you get more gifts of candy from strangers than any other holiday ironically and its like the day where being scared is supposed to be fun the bible clearly states fear is not of God a lot of people like that stuff and like the feeling of being afraid until its a real situation then its not so fun.. i can barely watch horror films i honestly dont know how people come up with these crazy scary movies how do they film them write them and play these characters i mean acting is most def a talent...If you’ve never researched where our Christmas traditions come from, if interested in the truth look into it. I started to share them here, but it would take me FOR.EV.ER. to go through all of the names, dates, traditions, etc. But look into where Dec. 25th came from. the Yule log, the Christmas tree and its ornaments and lights, holly, mistletoe, wreaths, the Christmas ham… look up Winter Solstice and Saturnalia. If you are really interested in knowing where your traditions come from and what they mean… do some studying.Suffice it to say, what we are doing when we partake of the traditions of Christmas is nothing more than imitating the pagan’s worship of the sun god. And i no longer can stand to have any part of spitting in the face of God. (Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but this is how it makes me feel.)For a long time I tried to rationalize that it was okay to continue enjoying the festivities. After all, we weren’t doing it to worship a sun god, we were honoring the birth of Christ! Right? Well, after much prayer and studying God’s word, one day the Lord revealed this analogy to me.Let’s just say that your spouse has cheated on you. After all, the Lord does call his people an “adulterous bride” after they went chasing pagan gods.Let’s say that your cheating spouse has come back to you, and asked your forgiveness. All has been made right again.Now, let’s say it’s your birthday. And your spouse wants to honor you on this day. (Although, in an appropriate analogy the celebration wouldn’t even be on your actual birthday!its on the other womans/guys birthday)But instead of giving you gifts that you have clearly expressed a desire for, your spouse gives you things that his lover enjoyed! He made his/her favorite foods, wanted to enjoy his/her favorite activities with you, lavished you with things that would have delighted him/her! Now, would this honor you? Would you feel loved and esteemed in this situation? Of course not!!! You’d be Livid!!! Is this not what we do to Christ, when we say that we are honoring Him by means of pagan traditions!? Being me,.. I wanted to find something in Scripture to solidify my convictions. Would God see the intentions of my heart, and understand that I’m just trying to please Him? Or would He be angry as I know I would be in that situation?...YHWH brought me to Exodus 32, the story of the Golden Calf. Remember that one? Moses had gone up onto the mountain to speak with God (and bring down the 10 commandments), but he took so long in coming that the people began to wonder what had happened to him. They asked Aaron to make a golden calf for them to worship, and he did so. But I thought this was fascinating, in verse 5 of that same chapter Scripture says, “And when Aaron saw it (the golden calf), he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation, and said, Tomorrow is a feast to the LORD.”Do you see what he was doing? The people had fallen back into pagan practices, and were worshiping an idol, yet saying it was to honor God!! The next verse goes on to say,“And they rose up early on the morrow, and offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings; and the people sat down to eat and to drink, and rose up to play.”Wow. Sounds like they were having a very fun celebration, huh?! Did the Lord look at the rejoicing of their hearts and feel honored? Let’s find out…In verses 7-9, YHWH speaks to Moses and tells him what the people are doing. He says that they have “corrupted themselves”, and “turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them”.Then in verse 10, YHWH says, “Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them…”.He was SO ANGRY! He was ready to destroy them all! Evidently, He was not pleased at the way they were trying to honor Him… mixing worship with pagan traditions. Mixing the holy with the unholy. water oil Vinegar type mix Just. Like. Christmas.....As I continued to study, I also came to 1 Samuel 15…This is where King Saul went out to destroy the Amalekites. But the Lord specifically told him (through Samuel) that he was to “utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.” (verse 3)But if you read on, you’ll find in verse 21 that they did not do as the Lord had commanded, and had in fact brought back with them the best of the sheep and oxen instead of killing them. Of course, when Samuel confronts him about it, Saul rationalizes that they did it “to sacrifice unto the LORD”.Here again, man is disobeying the Lord’s commands, yet saying he is doing so to try to please God. What does the Lord say? Verse 22-23, “And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to “OBEY” is better than sacrifice”!!!, .For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.”God didn’t want the sacrifices. He wanted obedience!!!.Here’s another in Deuteronomy 12:29-31; He is speaking to the Israelites before they go into the promised land,“When Yahweh your Elohim cuts off from before you the nations which you go to dispossess, and you displace them and dwell in their land, take heed to yourself that you are not ensnared to follow them, after they are destroyed from before you, and that you do not inquire after their gods, saying, `How did these nations serve their gods? I also will do likewise.’You shall not worship Yahweh your Elohim in that way; for every abomination to Yahweh which He hates they have done to their gods…”We are specifically told NOT to worship God with the ways of the pagans!! Jesus himself said in Matthew 15:7-9, “Ye hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”I don’t want to worship in vain, forsaking the commandments of God and clinging to the traditions of men. (also in Matt. 15:3)I don’t want to have anything to do with the unholy.Ephesians 5:11, “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.”In fact, the recurring theme all throughout Scripture is for God’s people to NOT follow the way of the pagans (in other words, go along with what the rest of the unbelieving world does), but to be set apart as holy, and to honor YHWH by obeying His commandments!If we profess to worship the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, then we cannot ignore the very character of God as repeated to us throughout Scripture. He is a loving God, yes, but He is also a jealous God. He will not share His people with idols.“For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” Exodus 34:14 But let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that Christmas traditions don’t really have pagan roots. Let’s just pretend that’s a bunch of baloney.Even still, nowhere in Scripture is it commanded to remember the birth of Christ. In fact, what we are commanded to celebrate are the Biblical Feasts of the Lord (given in Lev. 23), including Passover in remembrance of Christ’s death. Yet, far too many Christians have never even heard of the seven Feasts of the Lord, or they think they are “Jewish” celebrations. Scripture doesn’t call these holy days (not holidays) “Jewish feasts”, but the LORD’s Feasts. And everyone who calls himself a child of Elohim is to keep them. Forever.And so, we have chosen to give the Lord the gifts He has specifically requested, and honor Him through celebrating and remembering the Feasts of the lord.Loved ones, I know that Christmas is a special time of year, and that people get very caught up in its traditions and festivities. But our hearts yearn to honor the Lord… above all else. And this is something that i feel is non-negotiable.So, im saying “No”: to the holiday rush, and fighting over the latest toys for my kids, and inflatable yard decorations, and the lies of a bearded man who claims to have the powers of God (all seeing, all knowing, all present), and the Great Big Toys “R” Us Book, and “Yuletide” carols, and guilt induced credit card spending, and drunken company Christmas parties, and everything else that the world gets so wrapped up in during this time of year.For me, it really only comes down to one thing:“If you love me, keep my commandments.” John 14:15 And I think I’ve laid out pretty clearly what i believe the Lord expects from us. one holiday i like which is the 4th of july because it summer and there’s fireworks in the sky and bbq but what is the true origin of 4th of july? i wish we didn’t have to have wars i wish people could just live and let live without hurting anyone why steal why not just learn from each other share a world without greed would be beautiful but also when u have nothing really left and after you have gotten rid of all the fake people in your life u find no real reason to celebrate if you have no one to celebrate with with my family all passing away the money has been short after being locked up in an institution it puts a damper on things i feel like these holidays are made up just to make the rich get rich yes we all want to have fun and have a good time but id rather celebrate with the right people for the right reason without any ulterior motives that battle against principalities ans spiritual wickedness against rulers of darkness evil spirits in high places the fowl of the air id much rather sell things to people who do celebrate these holidays because at least it can help with bills instead of be a hindrance and burden in my life i’m not judging anyone who celebrates holidays i use to celebrate them too i’m just sharing why i have chosen not to honestly i celebrate everyday i buy gifts throughout the year why celebrate when the government wants us to? so they can capitalize on the citizens have us participate in their hellenistic rituals that we aren’t even made aware of until we do the homework and learn about them for ourselves these traditions were forced on us we weren’t given a choice and to think we were told that by celebrating these days we are honoring God and all along we arent we are honoring other gods celebrating holidays that have origins of other gods and not the true God the bible doesn’t encourage us to entertain these practices why even celebrate anything that has the potential to be a set up for disappointment by not celebrating it eliminates any expectation of having a day that you really only see in the movies on the hallmark channel i’ve also noticed people dread and just cant wait for it to be over like a funeral and its supposed to be a joyful prosperous time its even programmed to be called the most wonderful time of the year i tell ya satan is a sly trickster i chose life and freedom from the imprisonment that i feel when it comes to the holidays so while everyone else is celebrating i decided to be happy and enjoy myself in my own company with God the real comforter snuggled up to him in worship and gratefulness as an introvert id rather spend the days away from all of that i enjoy being an introvert i enjoy being in my own company creating with the creator holding me down and uplifting me and perhaps the holidays have turned me into a “scroogey your highness grinch” because i view things differently now but with that comes the freedom of me not having to do what everyone else is doing setting myself apart from the masses (mass level of destruction lol insider) i’m living my life by my rules by my preferences and spending time with God my best friend God never asked for anything but for us to live right and be holy because he is holy this is something to be celebrated always everyday everyday is our unbirthday one day out of the year is a day we were born on and we shouldn’t feel pressured or disappointed because someone didn’t get us a gift or acknowledge the fact that we are here another year and alive if anything we should spend our birthday alone with God because for sure its facts that you’ll feel value and loved in the arms of God i feel we should do something special for ourselves no one will ever love us like God can no one will ever love us like the self love we give ourselves truth be told people will always fail u people will not always be there for you people die there are no guarantees in life except the existence of God and his everlasting word anything else is temporary everything we see will one day no longer be so i make it a point not to depend on external happiness internal happiness is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves always do you stay true to yourself get rid of old habits that dont benefit your soul and be happy do what makes you happy there’s always room to learn more and to improve in certain areas in your life in all areas a friend once told me and it will forever stick with me and that is we aren’t perfect we are not all knowing we are forever learning and correcting things we are all a work in progress give to others keep yourself in alignment with the word of God by giving to others its like youre giving to God and it will be given back to you within the same measure you gave with so just be a happy cheerful giver give from you’re entire heart good things will happen just dont give and expect something back giving to receive doesn’t work like that...another thing don’t wait for their birthday or a man made holiday to do things for people some might not even live to see another birthday this kinda follows the saying don’t wait till i’m dead to buy me flowers or wait till im gone to finally miss me invite someone to dinner just because why wait until thanksgiving to feast and be thankful around your loved ones thanksgiving a day where we are actually celebrating stealing the land from the people who were already here thats like allowing someone to move in with you you teach them how to grow food and make a living for themselves and then they rob you and kick you out of your own home and force you to pay them to live in the street and first and foremost last but most assuredley not least never allow the holidays to validate you your value doesnt depend on gifts u get or didnt get or the people around you i like small numbers i think God prefers small numbers too because quality is and always will be better than quantity id rather have 1 real friend than a thousand fake friends even if my only friend is myself i remember in elementary school they would give out secret candies on valentines day some student s would recieve like 30 gifts because either they were that much admired and popular or they bought themselves gifts and made it look like someone else did it for them to make themselves appear to be better but i wonder if fake love makes them feel better its kinda like today how they buy followers do me a favor be happy keep the fake stuff to the side seek to be happy internally so nothing or no one can take that from u people and material things are all external things theyre all temporary the things money cant buy the things we cant see are the more permanent things our bodies are also temporary but these souls of ours are gonna be with us a lot longer so make sure you take good care of it and of you real love is internal and eternal and its the best gift we can give to ourselves signed #EternallyYours #EternalLove

#EternallyYours EternalLove InternalLove #God WhyINoLongerCelebrateChristmas WhyINoLongerCelebrateHolidays #Love #WhyINoLongerCelebrateChristmas #WhyINoLongerCelebrateHolidays

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deeeknows · 7 years ago

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Wowwwwo im honored and excited for you to read this blog. This one was hard for me to write so dont hate me if it is less easy to understand. Id love to discuss anything you guys hate/love in the comments. See you on the other side.

June 28

today was a big day for me as i was looking forward to taking my math assessment all day. i should have studied but hindsight is 20/20. what i will note is my trip with Uesin. he selflessly gave up his afternoon to drive me to my house, to get food, and then to lanham. What i appreciate about him is how thoughtful all of his actions are. not even just the ones that place me on the receiving end but rather how he places purpose in every decision he makes. i want my relationship with God to mirror how his looks in these ways one day. but after we the assessment i drive back and there is a group meeting centered around Vaughn and he was telling us about his relocation story. a very humbling experience but it seems like God does that to many people that being give them a task they cannot complete on their own. Important Part There is no way for me to claim i trust God with my life and then not my child’s life. so when i feel called to move into the city and education for my child comes up i dont think I want the best for my children. i want what God has for my family and i trust that following his will we do the rest. secondly i learned there is no way to do this alone. no matter how much i tell myself i hate people and want to be alone community is neeeeeeded for relocation. not only will God get you plugged into the city but he will plant you in community with folks with the same mission as you. your church should represent where you live and the values of Christ. make the sacrifices needed to do Gods work if youre going to go there you might as well all the way do it. Important Part people call tell when youre just moving in as compared to bringing Jesus into their Community.

June 29

without much change in my day to day this week i was eager to see where my life would be challenged. my first adventure came when i went further out of the city with Megan and Lestle to the bank. our walk confused me slightly because of what i anticipated to be true about the city was just not lining up to be true at all. everyone thinks the city is the worst part of baltimore but Important Part i am starting to believe i have reason to believe that the people who live outside the city before they are in the county technically that have the most strenuous places. ostracized from the county because they arent good enough and without the “resources” of the city. its a hard life out here. fastforward to dinner time im walking to hiphop chicken and a woman starts screaming to me if i want to buy any movies. its in my nature to stop and talk because i just cant pretend like i cant hear someone speaking directly to me or keep walking when someone is trying to get my attention. so tell her i dont have any interest in any DVDs or console games or perfume but that also wasnt good enough for her. so she crosses the street to better communicate her need for a dollar just have something to drink. the thing that was catching me was we were on our way to eat dinner and i had already decided i wasnt going to spend my money because i wasnt to hungry. so i told her i didn’t have any singles but she can have and i assured her that if i did she would be in luck. shortly after i ended up giving her the 5 to her surprise and she starts crying. i ask her name and then she tells me and i say i will be praying for her but my family group was standing a ways off and were waiting for me to go to dinner. as i tried to walk away she reaches out for me and asks for me to pray for her now. by the time im finished she is in full blown tears and i just gotta go because i cant be out here crying in these streets. i tell this story because i think for me and her it was more than about the mere 5. Important Part while the 5 would get her something to drink it wasnt going to meet all of her needs and we both knew that. the immediacy she wanted her interaction with her Savior right then. and it just teaches me not walk past anyone again because besides “costing me” 5 dollars which was only mine for all of 5 minutes i was able to be with her in her interaction which i believe she will remember way longer than she will remember the 5 i dont even remember what it looked like.

June 30

Who am I. Question I’ve found in all of my conversations since Sunday. Looking for ways I could define myself without telling people what I’m not. Today’s thought provoking comments came by the brilliant minds of Feitian and Lestle. After I was taking notes on my Asian culture 101 class I started to realize my questions weren’t specific to myself and that many other people groups go through the very same things I do. Seeking to find ones self. Feitian communicated to me the exact thing that I knew I couldn’t have been the only other person thinking. That people don’t want to know you, they’d rather skip all the time it would take to get to know each person and use what they have gathered previously through most times skewed lens to contextualize you. Important Part Who you are and who you aren’t are two different people trapped in one body. And most times we are stuck in between looking for someone else to shine some light on us to help determine where our strengths and almost-strengths lie. But I didn’t come to this until the 3 of us went around and spoke about how we were having such immense difficulty communicating who we were to the next person or how hard it was without describing what we weren’t. I believe we live in our pursuit for purpose in our lives and we start with figuring out who we are and what we like. Most times we never make it to the second part without placing our identity in Christ. Important Part It sounds super corny but I have been thinking all week and those are the only concrete things I can describe myself with that others cannot change the definitions to. Who knows. Maybe one day I won’t be afraid of someone knowing me better than I do. But I can’t call it as of yet.

July 1

Writing this a day after wasn’t my smartest idea yet. But we didn’t do as much. It was comprised of a seminar on racial reconciliation. while this seems like a super broad topic and it is. the main parts of what we were doing were focused around a couple steps that really broke down the process into knowing who you are racially and ethnically and what that means for our society and how can we knowing our differences work to create heaven on earth. this whole seminar was a challenge as to what i thought heaven was going to look like. i can see now what a real working definition of unity looks like. unity is fully realized in diversity. as a puzzle works there are many many pieces and they are all shaped through cultures and experiences they have been in. Important Part we needed more than 1 uniqueshape to complete the image of God and thats what unity is about. accepting people who are different from you and working with them because we all together reflect God

After the seminar we went on a trip to the National Blacks in Wax museum. While it was a learning experience i would have enjoyed maybe another hour or 7 to properly pace myself to get to really digest the museum. The worst part about this whole thing for me is in the idea that many of the atrocious acts that were used to oppress black people in the past were not only “based” out of christian beliefs but also done by christian people. So to think about reconciliation for me is to attach myself to an agent that was used to divide people in the past didnt sound appealing at all. Important Part But i realize i serve a God that is big enough to take what some people manipulated to hurt and dehumanize my people and redeem not only what was taken but Christ’s name. This is so important to me because the more broken the more we can see God’s grace cover many times over.

July 2

as practicing sabbath becomes more and more a thing im getting used to im thankful for the time im putting aside to be alone. lol and be with

God. i went over to the Zubeks home and there i met so many new friends. these people im starting to see work together to get your will done and i say the way teamwork looks. vision casting and group work does more and helps to create a community that is dependent on each other. every part of me hates being dependent on someone else but im trying my best to do more than just isolate myself and grow to work with people towards a common goal. but today i went to worship at a mass. it was so new and short i didnt even realize it was over when it was. a different pace but not something i dont think id do long team. i dont see enough variability for myself. i like the experience. id want to get to understand why they do all of what they do for their practices.

July 3

monday was a day that we began to get back into everything with brother Jeff. as a starter we spent about 30 minutes in prayer interceding on behalf of the kids who were just coming back from camp, playing in the league, and the coaches. This is so valuable to me because of what the kids experienced while they were at summers best 2 weeks. This christian camp was a structure and environment that many different kids have in. Brother Jeff took these 7 kids and they all took MAJOR steps in their walk with Christ. And this is great to see but everyone isnt going to be at the best 2 weeks forever and the situations these kids are coming back to isnt one that would accidentally foster them to continue to grow. Important Part Which is why we were fighting in prayer for these kids to meet us halfway so we can continue to pour into them while they are around. becoming an intercessor is exciting me more and more because im becoming like my momma and i see the importance and value of what she does so well. pray for others. i might have to get me one of those closets that dont have a door since i feel like id get locked in and die. but thats besides the point. we then went shopping for the 4th and the weekend for him before coming back home and doing more admin things. then my favorite part of it all. spending time with the youth came. we took timmy*** to the park to hoop for quite some time. seeing and getting these kids to be themselves and slowly begin to look up to myself and lestle and begin to ASK us questions just shows how willing and eager they are to learn. cant wait for more times.

July 4

Writing this blog now I’m still experiencing the 4th in the city and so the nonstop fireworks kept me awake enough to write this entry. To begin my 4th I went to brother Jeffs home and had a cookout with the kids and some of his closest mentees. Over a couple games of uno, burgers, and corn we discussed among many other things honor. While it might seem like a little thing to you guys honor for these kids is VERY VERY important. As I believe it should be for everyone but in biased. Honor and respect is given to those who earn it and something you would never give up on your own accord without a fight. While I know this to be true in my life it didn’t settle in how serious this was until asked point blank where put in a situation you had to Choose walking away with your life or dying with your pride that some would choose to die. Not only did this seem almost ludicrous to me but it wasn’t until shortly after that “death before dishonor” really held any weight. Not only were these kids being put in these situations but they were being forced to make these decisions and would rather die and be known as a real one that held to their values than to flake even when your life is on the line. I love it when someone teaches me something new about myself and this was definitely a time i could realize who i was and where i could grow, Because just putting it in my Blog doesnt mean id be willing to give up my life for anything. Important Part These soldiers would be rocking it in the army of God but until we can get them to stand on the solid rock of Jesus things prolly not gon stay too bright.

My second part of my day I want to compare firework experiences. While they aren’t entertaining to me I enjoy seeing others amused by them. To start off we went to the Zubek Home to watch then after our crab feast. People start to filter onto the roof of their rowhome in SOWEBO and lean up pretty much with their significant others. As people all around the city shoot of their fireworks the thing that stuck out most to me in this situation was how people were celebrating. The laid back privileged group of christians versus the constant street show that we watched for close to an hour as they blocked off stricker less than 50 meters from our home opens my eyes to so many things and actually visible comfort zones. Important Part I want to remember to that the people in Baltimore are not here to put on a show for me on my rooftop but rather that im challenged to learn, experience, and love on the people to try and better understand them. Connections work wonders as we watched and listened to the fireworks go off from 9-2 am non stop.

While this blog was harder for me to write i think there were less Important Parts as well and i dont want yah to hate me for it. Hopefully the ones ive pointed out in this last week add help with anything you might have experienced once upon a time. My last impressions would be to find 3 things you can tell me about yourself without telling me who you arent. My challenge would be to try a vegetarian lifestyle for a week. And my question would be where would you put yourself on the death before dishonor scale?

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robin-hood-for-freedom · 8 years ago

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I know this is old, and I actually did it a while back. But I ran across it on Youtube recently, and I thought it was one of the more interesting/useful tests for privilege since it actually takes into account people’s experiences, rather than just declaring it based on what ‘groups’ they are in. So I’m going to actually do what I should have done before and actually go through it an explain my answers.

I am white:

Right off the bat, Yep. Kind of hard to deny that.

I have never been discriminated against because of my skin color:

Story time: I had a job interview at a BBQ joint. In fact one of the best in town. The owner was black, as were most of the other employees. When I met with the owner the first words out of his mouth were ‘So, what does a white boy like you know about bbq?’ I didnt get the job.

Granted I cant definitively prove that his not hiring me was because i was white. But lets reverse the roles here. Suppose that a black man interviewed a white restaurant owner, and the very first words out of the owners mouth were ‘So what does a black guy like you know about italian food?’ I think we can all agree theres a bit of racism at play here.

All of that is a very long winded way to say yes, I have.

I have never been the only person of my race in a room

I sure have, multiple times.

I have never been mocked for my accent:

I sure as fuck have. When my dad first got out of the army I got mocked for having a ‘military’ accent(no, nobody called it that, but thats why), although I’v mostly lost that, I still get comments every time I talk to someone from outside of the northern Indiana/Michigian/Chicago area.

It probably doesnt help that I have an absurdly high voice for a man.

I have been told I’m attractive ‘for my race:’

Cant say I have

I have never been the victim of violence because of my race:

Nope

I have never been called a racial slur:

I have if you count ‘cracker’ and ‘mayo’ which I do.

I have never been told I ‘sound white’

I have, but does it really count considering I AM white?

A stranger has never asked to touch my hair, or asked if it was real:

No, thats never happened to me.

I am heterosexual:

Yea, I guess.

I have never lied about my sexuality

Cant say I have

I have never had to ‘come out’

No I have not.

I have never doubted my parents acceptance of my sexuality:

My parents dont give a fuck.

I have never been called a ‘fag’

I have actually, and in real life, not just by edgy internet trolls.

I have never been called a ‘dyke.’

Nope, never have.

I have never been called a ‘fairy’ or other derogatory term for homosexuals

I’m assuming we’re not counting ‘fag?’ What about ‘cocksucker?’ I mean it would seem to refer to homosexuals, but its most often used as a general insult. Does ‘gay’ count if its being used a derogatory manner?

I’m probably overanalysing this,

I have never tried to hide my sexuality:

True I havent.

I am always comfortable with PDA with my partner in public:

Well no, not always. I guess it also depends on how far we are talking too.

I have never pretended to be ‘just friends’ with my significant other:

I have actually. My parents didnt want me dating before I got a car, so when I was 14 I told them I was friends with a girl that I considered my girlfriend.

I know thats probably not what the quizmakers had in mind, but fuck it, thats their problem, not mine.

I have never been ostracized by my religion because of my sexuality:

No I have not.

I have never been told I would ‘burn in hell’ for my sexual orientation

I guess it depends on how you look at it. I mean I have been told I would burn in hell for having pre-marital sex. But not simply for being heterosexual.

I’m gonna go ahead and say that doesnt count.

I have never been told my sexuality is ‘just a phase’

Nope, thats never happened to me.

I have never been violently threatened because of my sexuality:

I’v been violently threatened because people thought I was gay(even though I wasnt). I’m gonna count that.

I am a man:

I guess yea? I mean I have a penis...

I feel comfortable with the gender I was born as

I mean I’v never felt uncomfortable with having a penis if thats what you are asking.

I still identify as the gender I was born in:

I guess yea? I mean I’v never really ‘identified’ as a man in any meaningful sense. But I’v also never called myself anything else...

I have never tried to change my gender:

Nope. Cant say I’v ever cared enough to bother.

I make more money than my professional counterparts of a different gender.

I actually dont know any other female doughnut chefs. When I worked as a head chef, the women I knew were making comparable pay to myself. So no.

I have never been denied an opportunity because of my gender:

Not that I’m aware of.

I have never been catcalled:

I have actually. Only once, but still....

I have never been sexually harassed or assaulted:

Sexually harassed, yes.

I have never been raped

No I have not.

I work in a salaried job

Not anymore I dont.

My family and I have never lived below the poverty line

Oh yes we have.

I dont have any student loans:

I dont. But I have to question whether this is really a sign of ‘privilege’ Since the reason I dont isnt because mommy and daddy paid for my schooling(nor could they have), but because I didnt go to a full university, opting instead to go to a local community college. Meaning I took on a lot less student debt.

By this logic, somebody who never went to any higher education is even more privileged than me, since they’ll never have any student debt. And I’m not sure thats entirely accurate

I have never gone to bed hungry

I have, not very often, but yes.

I have never been homeless

I have not.

My parents pay some/all of my bills:

my parents dont pay shit for me.

I dont rely on public transportation:

Yea I have my own car.

I buy new clothes at least once a month:

No. I mean, to be fair, its more out of lazyness/cheapness than inability, but still...

I have never done my taxes myself:

I still do my own taxes, what the fuck you talking about?

I have never felt poor:

Fuck yea I have.

I have never had to worry about making rent:

Sure as hell have, on many, many occasions

I have never worked as a waiter, bartender, barista or salesperson

How the fuck did you miss cashier/customer service in this question? I’v done that, but not any of those other specific jobs.

I’v had unpaid internships:

Nope. Never.

I went to summer camp:

Once.

I went to private school:

nope

I graduated high school

Yep.

I went to an elite college:

Hell no. See my point about student loans above

I graduated college:

Yep.

My parents paid(at least some of) my tuition:

Nope.

I had a car in high school:

For one year, until I wrecked it.

I’v never had a roommate

Does a wife/girlfriend count? probably not.

I’ve always had cable:

I dont have cable now.

I have traveled internationally:

Does living in Germany as part of a military family count? Probably not.

I’v never skipped a meal to save money:

I have. Not very often, but yes.

I dont know what ‘Sallie mae’ is

Isnt this just another way of asking about the student loan thing?

I spent spring breaks abroad:

My spring breaks have always consisted of sleeping in and playing way too many video games.

I have frequent flier miles:

Nope

My parents are heterosexual:

Pretty sure. I mean its always possible that one(or both) of them have just been REALLY deep in the closet or all these years.

my parents are both alive:

Yep

My parents are still married:

I’m assuming you mean to each other. But either way, yes.

I do not any physical disabilities:

I have a rod in my leg where I broke it a few years back. Still gives me pain and causes me to limp. Its not really a big deal, especially compared to say, what my wife has, but I’m gonna count because why hte fuck not?

Also glasses. I cant see shit without them

I dont have any social disabilities:

I mean, I’m EXTREMELY introverted, which can make social interactions difficult for me. I dont know if that counts as a ‘disability.’ Eh, since i counted the last one, I’m not gonna count this one.

I do not have any learning disabilities:

I do not.

I have never had an eating disorder:

I have not.

I have never been depressed:

I’m assuming you mean clinically. You’d have to be some sort of psychopath to have never been depressed in the non-clinical sense. I’v been clinically depressed.

I have never considered suicide:

I have actually. I dont know if I was ever really serious about it. But it has crossed my mind.

I have never attempted suicide:

Thankfully I Have not.

I have never taken medication for my mental health:

cant say I have.

I can afford medication when/if I need it:

I have insurance that helps. Theres no way in hell I could afford it without insurance.

I have never been told I’m overweight or ‘too skinny’

Oh I’m overweight all right.

I have never felt overweight or ‘too skinny’

Oh I know I’m overweight.

I have never been shamed for my body type:

I sure as hell have.

I consider myself to be physically attractive.

I dont really think about it all that much myself. I mean, my wife thinks I’m attractive and thats whats most important to me.

I can afford a therapist.

I honestly have no idea, as I’v never had cause to look into it. I dont think my insurance covers it.

I’v used prescription drugs recreationaly:

Nope, not my thing.

I’ve never had an addiction:

Does caffeine count? I’m gonna say it does.

I have never been shamed for my religious beliefs:

Oh I have. You’d be surprised how much the ‘Jesus kids’ get mocked even in so-called flyover states

I’v never been violent threatened for my religious beliefs:

Do online threats count? who am I kidding of course they do.

I have been violently attacked for my religious beliefs:

Okay, thats never happened

There is a place of worship for my religion in my town:

I went ahead and said yes. But if I’m being honest, there arent any churches that teach the type of theology I’v adopted over the years.

I’v never lied about my ethnicity/religion as self defense:

No, I mean I have lied about them for trolling purposes. But thats not really the same thing.

All my jobs have been accommodating of my religious practices:

Thats one thing that sucks about working resturant business. I have to work every holiday.

I am not nervous in airport security lines

I cant say how I feel in airport security lines. Because I’v never been in one. I didnt count it because the fact that I havent flown indicates to me a lack of privilege.

I have never heard this statement: “ you have been randomly selected for secondary passport control”

I havent. But I’m not really sure thats an indicator of privilege. See my above answer.

I have never been called a terrorist:

Well not personally. But gamers and gamergaters generally have been called terrorists, even worse than Isis. Its actually kind of surprising that nobody has singled me out to be honest.

Nobody has ever tried to ‘save’ me because of my religious beliefs:

I actually have had people preach at me because I wasnt the ‘right kind’ of Christian.

I have never been cyber-bullied for any of my identities:

I have actually

I wasnt bullied as a child for any of my identities:

I was actually

I have never tried to distance myself from any of my identities:

Cant say I’v consciously done so.

I’v never been self-conscious of any of my identities:

I left this one and the next one off because they are too vague for me to give a concrete answer to.

I feel privileged because of the identities I was born with

Cant say I do.

And the final results are:

You live with 46 out of 100 points of privilege.

You’re not privileged at all. You grew up with an intersectional, complicated identity, and life never let you forget it. You’ve had your fair share of struggles, and you’ve worked hard to overcome them. We do not live in an ideal world and you had to learn that the hard way. It is not your responsibility to educate those with more advantages than you, but if you decide you want to, go ahead and send them this quiz. Hopefully it will help.

#quizvideo

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