#i dont think the romans class my parents made me go to was an entirely lost cause. because it enabled me to write this

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

I dont think anyone else has noticed this tho im sure you have (namely the people acting like clowns in the titanic tag, not you) but the 19yr old did not want to go on that sub, he was terrified and only did it to make his dad happy..idk.. it is very tragic and upsetting and even more so that people seem to ignore this and keep going on their weird jokes about the entire thing, saying how they all wanted to go when no, the 19yr old did not want to at all. I think going down was totally uncalled for, I think stock rush got four people killed and he is terrible for that and deserved what happened to him, i think it is sick he turned a mass grave site into a tourist attraction for bored rich people..but I think people just heard the word rich for these other four and just right away assumed they deserved to die when idk...I did some reading on each of them and they, aside from the obvious ick of being rich, seemed like decent people who made a very very poor choice and trusted the wrong person which led to them dying. the paul guy was (correct me if im wrong) a well respected titanic researcher for over 30yrs, the british man was trying to make flying more sustainable for the planet and such (again correct me if wrong) and the dad and son seemed to do a lot of charity work and were overall kind people..but yeah they seemed like far better people then most celebs people love so the entire thing rubs me wrongly, two things can coexist, the entire thing was wrong and not ok and stock was sick for what he did and his death was justified, but I also have a hard time believing the other four truly deserved to die (Sorry this is random just wanted to hear your thoughts!) :)

ive written the reply to this about five times now because i also struggle with my feelings based around what happened.

on one hand, i do genuinely feel for them, especially suleman dawood who was a 19-year-old kid. i think youd have to lack a heart to not feel for him.

on the other, i fully understand where people are coming from when they dont give a shit about them. two of them were billionaires and the other two were multi-millionaires. i come from a working class background and a single-parent family so it is difficult to feel bad for someone with that much money dying because of a decision they made.

but that doesnt mean i dont feel bad for them, because i do. five human beings died and i just naturally feel for them even though my conscious brain struggles to keep up with that emotion.

and as youve said, some of them seemed to genuinely do good things.

sulemans father shahzada funded mental healthcare for pakistani citizens during covid-19 and was looking into renewable energy.

paul-henri nargeolet had been involved in underwater searches for rms carpathia as well as a flight recorded from a plane that crashed though both were unsuccessful. hed also found a roman wreck as well as an aircraft that had crashed in 1979, giving some closure to the families of those who had perished. he has done a lot of important research on the titanic.

iirc hamish hardings company action aviation has helped the indian government and a namibian cheetah conservation company to reintroduce cheetahs to india, which is objectively a very good thing.

its difficult to parse through how you feel about the disaster because people are messy, and they do both good and bad things.

i dont think i know enough about any of the four adults aboard to say whether the good theyve done outweighed the bad, and whether other people even care about that when it comes to their feelings about this.

the one i know for sure that i dont feel bad for is stockton rush because this was entirely his fault.

im not gonna get into the weeds as to why exactly titan was badly designed, but to save money and for "simplicity", he employed some experimental techniques like the use of carbon fibre and the pressure pod (i hope i have the right word here) being cylindrical. he ignored regulations and laws, he used expire carbon fibre, and he turned a mass gravesite into a tourist spot.

and i hate him even more for how he designed oceangate. the way they work is that each dive would technically be research-based, but to fund it (even though rush is a multi-millionaire), they would allow people to buy tickets to come along. and i hate this more than if it was just tourism because the way hes tied them together has made it harder to criticise the dives because they have done important research.

i definitely he misled people because if you dont know about this sort of vessel, youre likely to defer to someone who helped to develop it.

however, i would err on the side of both harding and nargeolet knowing how unsafe it was. nargeolet had done countless dives just like it and he was in this world where people were saying this isnt safe. we also know that harding knew because his friend victor vescovo, who found the deepest shipwreck in the world (the samuel b roberts), told him that it was unsafe, but harding went anyway.

ive kinda just been rambling in my reply because i do feel torn about it. people died and i struggle not to feel for them, even if my logical brain is arguing with that. i think many people struggle to believe anyone deserves to die because were humans and we are meant to care about each other. its how we survived as a species for so long. but there are people in this world where if they died, the world would objectively be a better place.

at the end of the day, im not the authority on how anyone feels about this and i dont begrudge anyone for their feelings. the world is not black and white, and so much exists in the morally grey area.

youre entitled to feel however you do, anon. dont let others make you feel bad about it.

[transkholins]

experiencing thoughts about predestination and total depravity and salvation and Harrier Fucking Du Bois. how calvinist thought around predestination is the double-sided coin of “you are fundamentally evil and cannot save yourself, you need god to change your heart” and “you are Chosen and Special because god decided to save you” and how harry does both.

i think there’s a large part of him that believes that he is fundamentally flawed, fundamentally unable to save himself and change the course of his life and atone for his own actions, he’s bad once so he’s bad forever, self-fulfilling prophecy, et cetera. and so he turns the people he loves into these savior figures where he expects them to pull him out of these awful circumstances that he has created for himself. he expects them to fix him. to the extent that jean leaving him to his own devices in martinaise is framed as jean finally pulling the plug and not taking responsibility for harry’s actions anymore. it’s both implied and stated outright that jean has spent the last few years picking up harry’s mess for him - he’s fulfilling harry’s responsibilities within the rcm, he’s trying to save face for harry within c-wing. and the second he and the rest of the mcu are gone, harry literally parties so hard he gives himself retrograde amnesia (with the implication that he was trying to commit suicide). 

and i know everyone says this, but the religious imagery gets so fucking literal with kim, where harry pretty much explicitly idolizes him and wants him to save him. so many people (myself included) joke about reloading saves because you picked an option that disappointed him - the game sort of leads a lot of people to rely on his approval to “make the right choices,” whether or not the choices that kim approves of are the morally correct ones. 

(another interesting addition here is that kim repeatedly refuses to take on a savior role for harry - he is not going to be the one to pull him out of his mess. he’ll intervene if your “personal matters” are interfering with the case, but beyond that, he’s very clear that he Is Not Going To Make An Effort To Fix You. you can ruin your life however you please, and by and large, he will just stand there and side-eye you, nothing more or less.)

and on the other side of things, harry has this weird relationship with moralism where (because he’s projecting his ex onto a religious figure) he seems to think that he’s got this profound connection with dolores dei and moralism and the innocentic system? in the sense that he has a personal relationship with a thematically and literally impersonal god. dolores dei is dead - she is not speaking to him. the moralintern and the coalition are overseas governments that have imposed their rule onto revachol - they do not care about harry as a person. even the portrait for the radio personnel on the coalition warship archer is distant - there is only the suggestion of a face, of its features, surrounded by shapes. and yet harry creates this personal connection with the idea of dolores dei, where she has Chosen him, he’s special, he’s part of an imagined group of the “spiritual elect,” he cannot lose that election and he is special and chosen Forever. 

but, by the same token, it’s now his responsibility to save martinaise, to save revachol, to save the world. the bloated corpse of a drunk gets a line where he says that harry personally failed all 4.6 billion people on elysium. shivers/la revacholière tells him that he can save them and the city, he can keep them alive, they need him. i doubt that it’s a coincidence that that the scene happens in a church.

it’s just wild to me because this whole line of thinking is so deeply protestant, so deeply calvinist, despite all of the catholic-and/or-orthodox-type set dressing in the church in martinaise. there’s the contradictory push-and-pull between the idea that “all humans are totally depraved, you do not have control over your sinful nature, you cannot become good by yourself” and the idea that “you are personally held responsible for your failures if you don’t choose to accept christ as your savior, and so you are doomed to an eternity of torment.” it’s total depravity and unconditional election. which is admittedly not what i was expecting when i went into disco elysium. but basically i think we can take the christian imagery and symbolism about fifteen steps further.

[princeanxious]

Okay stupid tumblr didnt tell me you said yes but HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS :DDD

When did they become vanpires

How old are they

What year were the vampires born

How long has V been locked away, what has he missed

Does V immediately latch onto the grunge/emo aesthetic because it matches the whole vampire theme

Is Roman a himbo™

What is the twins relationship like

Anxciet is the main pairing, are there any side pairings?

How does Janus react to the whole "oh yeah vampires are real" thing

Were any of the vamps around for any big historical events

Were any of the vamps big historical figures

Do they end up going to highschool/uni with the humans

What does everyone look like

Do any of them have really strong opinions about something useless (eg. pineapple on pizza, a certain colour, double denim, etc)

:)

Virgil became a Vampire sometime in the 17/1800s?? Logan is from around the 1500s, and Patton claims he lost count a long time ago.(Patton’s probably at least at least a thousand years old though? But he looks more like a young 25 y/o whose attire choices change day to day but generally always gives off that Parent vibe), Virgil was turned by Patton, Logan was born Vampire, Patton was assumably born vampire. Remus and Roman are 27, Janus is 25.

Virgil was locked away for about 150 years, give or take? He missed the entire shift in society and the human experience, from how relationships are viewed/treated to longer lifespans, to cleaner hygiene, convenience, and technology, hell, even the more open existance of the lgbtqa+ community! A /lot/ has happened in the past 100 years, and now Virgil has alot of catchup to do.(and don’t worry, Patton & Logan help Virgil catch up pretty quickly, they share flashcards and Virgil gets h o o k e d on social media when he gets a phone)

He absolutely does. Its a weird adjustment, what with the now wildly varied different textiles and styles and change. Especially the lack of layers, he misses those. (And finds immense comfort in the jacket that Janus gifts him, as its big and oversized and feels oh so very soft and warm.) But no yeah, he gets his hair cut(it still grew for those years locked away, albiet still rather slowly from malnutrition) and rocks the fringe, even gets his hair dyed purple to match his eyes, all the grunge/punk/emo aesthetic! Some of his favorite new things are makeup, piercings, and so much black fabric to chose from!

You’ll be surprised to note, that Roman is sadly not a himboTM in this au, as Virgil has already taken over that roll 💜💜💜

Remus and Roman’s relationship? Honestly ride or die chaos, the kinds of siblings that play pranks on one another and insult eachother but god forbid some poor outsider steps in to try and say the same thing they said abt their sibling, that outsider will have regreted it. The kind if ‘The Only one allowed to call my brother a Bitch-Ass Idiot is ME’ kind of siblings? Look they grew up in a area filled with people who dont like things out of the norm and befriended the local bullied kid who is half-covered in snake scales and speaks with a lisp due to his split togue. Remus himself suffers from intrusive anxiety and Roman suffers from chronic(?) depression. They’re all a bit ride or die, through and through.

Anxceit is the main pairing, and while it’s not entirely set in stone, Logince and Intruality are probably the other two.

Technically its not a secret in their world?? Like magic is a thing in their workd, its just usually left out of humanities bloodline. Humans like Janus are pretty rare bc of that. Vampires are still p rare to meet but not unheard of.

Yes, the vampires were alive for many major historical events. No we are not going to talk abt any of them. Same goes w/ historical figures.

Yes! Infact, Roman and Logan share college/uni theatre classes together! Logans currently an astronomy major, Roman a theatre arts major(i think thats what its called?) Logan is a formidible lyrical rival and Roman finds himself constantly losing to his rival in the form of slam poetry, though every day Roman always gets a little closer to winning(Logan adores the challenge, and the passion Roman has to beat Logan at his own game is riviting to experience. Logan would def consider Roman a perfect companion, but would have never acted on it if virgil hadnt been rescued by said companions twin brother, thus gettig both trios heavily involved w/ each other.) Patton’s been alive so long that he doesn’t care too much for academia, and instead focuses on tactile learning, like pottery and woodworking. Remus himself is an arts major, known for making really hyper horror or grotesque creature sculptures/doll customization, so he kind of just laches onto this man who seems to be larger than life and is far from bothered by Remus’s ‘not safe for common convos’ way of talking and its nice not to have someone run away. (Honestly, the feeling is mutual between the two)

As for what everone looks like, I kinda just want to leave that up to interpretation? If I end up drawing any of them they’ll probably be reflective of the way that I usually draw the sides, just human or vampire-ified, and maybe have a trait or two tweaked specifically for the au? The only real thing standing out to me is that i might give Remus or Roman Albinism? Idk yet.

Uhhhh i’m sure they have alot? Logan hates modern mirrors, bc they are usually not made w/ a silver backing. Let me tell you the first time Logna passed his full blown reflection out of something he’d never been able to use before, its clear, consise, ans ge hates it bc he can now very easily stare into his own eyes clearly and question existance.

Patton, despite being the oldest ever, is still v afraid of soiders despite knowing they cant hurt him too horribly.

Virgil is under the strong opinion that memes are hilarious and hoodies are amazing.

[olruggioofthetorch]

sorry you know me I like to ask a million questions so here it goes- Tinsel:5,18,20,27,31,39,40 / Nila:13,28/Roman:11,6,7/Benji:4,19/Saoirse: 20,25,27 /Fionn: 6,7,10,33/ Scone:21,23 - sorry can’t remember the other siblings off the top of my head and these are the major ones anyway right haha? and this is a lot of questions anyway soooo

Ooo we're getting into the selkies tonight

Tinsel

5. What was their childhood fear?

Being alone or left behind. It was definitely a threat when they were a kid like "if you aren't on the caravan before we leave at noon, we're leaving you behind". I don't think their parents would have actually left them behind when they were small but it was enough of a threat that they and their siblings listened for the most part. Its not so much a childhood fear as it is a regular adult fear now.

18. If they could live or visit anywhere, where would they go?

Tinsel really likes where they live but they do have dreams about living on a sunny coast with their partners when they all settle down. Idk if there's anywhere specific they want to visit? They just go where the adventure leads them. I think they would like to visit somewhere to meet up with their family, tho.

20. What did they dream of "growing up" to be?

Oh man, Tinsel wanted to be an A List celebrity actor. They wanted to be lead role in blockbusters. It was a big goal for them but they were sure they could do it.

27. Have they achieved any of their childhood dreams? Are they still trying? Have those dreams changed?

They've gotten some of their childhood dreams! They moved to Holly Bay and made tons of friends. They got to act in live theater. They were almost in a movie! They got some notoriety from adventuring and were on TV for it. They got to kiss their childhood crush. They didn't quite make it to the A List after getting blacklisted but they're def still trying.

In regards to how they changed: I don't think they changed too much but they did see how hard it was to achieve them. Plus, they started dreaming about having a family when they were with Bast so that's definitely something they want now.

31. Who are they when they aren't with the party?

When they're not with the party, Tinsel is way less open about themself. They're a master of either talking around a question or lying by omission and they use it when they don't feel comfortable sharing. Pre-adventure, they didn't really even tell their closest friends the entire truth about their backstory (which is honestly buckwild and hard to believe anyway) or their relationship with Bast or really anything about their love/sex life.

I think it's bc they don't think Kira and Zona will judge them.

39. If someone could tell them anything about the future they asked, would they want to know? Would they ask?

I think they have actually, they asked if they were going to get married. I don't think they would want to ask something super serious because they aren't going to listen to a no.

40. What sets them free?

A good support system. Tinsel's very talented and driven but they need the power of friendship to keep them from burning out.

Nila

13. How do they like to spend afternoons free?

Nila likes to paint. She dipped her toe into art forgery for a little bit but decided it was more fun to steal the real thing and do her own work on the side. She has one of those cute little travel watercolors she uses to paint landscapes when she gets some time alone. Absolutely no one knows she has this hobby.

28. If they could change their class(es), would they? To what?

I dont think she'd change her class from rogue but she would def take some wizard skills.

Roman

11. What were their teenage years like?

He was a horrible teenage boy, mostly bc he wanted attention. He started off with red hair but occasionally made it redder when he got teased about it. He activated the Cain instinct in a lot of his siblings but I think Tinsel tried to kicked his ass the most purely due to how close their ages are. He shot them with an arrow by accident once and never lived it down.

His mom taught him archery at around 14-15 and he got very good at it to try and impress her. He left home around 18/19, picked up some odd jobs/repaired archery equipment professionally for a few years until Nila called him up like "hey bro miss you let's do this heist together".

6. Did they grow up with siblings? What were those relationships like?

Yes lmao my boy has 9 siblings. I sort of talked about this in the last question but yeah he liked to stir the pot for attention. Even though they tried to kick his ass, his siblings still love him. Him and Saoirse always got along really well and I'm p sure she stopped him from actually getting murdered as a kid lol. He really doesn't have a bad relationship with any of them, though, besides still owing Scone a bunch of money. Rome's a lot of fun and he's the kind of guy who will give or share anything with you. He is just A Lot.

7. How were their relationships with their parents/guardians growing up?

He def knew he wasn't the favorite child lol. I think once Knox realized why his kid was acting up, he made sure to spend some extra time with him every once and a while. And once he showed promise in archery, his relationship with Fulki got better too. I think he has an okay relationship with his parents right now but he definitely would never live with them again.

Benji

4. Who was their childhood hero?

Their dad! They're very similar people and he looks up to him a lot.

19. How does the high noon sun make them feel?

Sleepy... It's too darn hot. He's 100% not interested in going out at high noon so he's either taking a nap or hanging out somewhere shady with Folsom.

Saoirse

20. What did they dream of "growing up" to be?

I don't know if Saoirse had one specific dream. What she did know is that she didn't want to get married and she didn't want to have kids. I think she went through a bunch of phases on what she wanted to be when she grew up until she landed on being a wizard. When that stuck, she just leaned hard into it.

25. What is their comfort item/habit?

She's definitely one of those "make a hot beverage when I'm stressed" kind of people. She's also a stress baker... Which used to be a "make potions and light stuff on fire" habit but she realized she gets muffins if she bakes instead.

She also has a bunch of stuffed animals in her room, purely because she's an adult wizard and no one can tell her not to have stuffies.

27. Have they achieved any of their childhood dreams? Are they still trying? Have those dreams changed?

Oh, she totally achieved the wizard thing and now she's a real Howl Pendragon figure. She got bored being by herself so she applied to get some apprentices, but due to a clerical error, she wound up with a couple of brothers (Max and Arseny) who were way too young to be apprentices. She's basically raising them as her kids (they call her mama and the Townes all consider them grandkids/nephews lol) but Saoirse insists they're still her apprentices in public.

Fionn

6. Did they grow up with siblings? What were those relationships like?

Fionn was the golden oldest brother! He and Saoirse were basically 3rd/4th parents so the rest of the siblings came to love/respect him. He was really good at keeping the peace. Dude would have made a fantastic diplomat. The siblings especially liked when he told them stories about life before their family left the Muirs or stories about knights/heroes. It was a rough day when he disappeared and the siblings that remember him really miss him.

7. How were their relationships with their parents/guardians growing up?

Very strained. Like, he was def the favorite child, but Fionn really had some childhood trauma from The Fall that they couldn't help him with bc they also had it. He sort of resents that he got put into the auxiliary parent role on top of it. I think ultimately they expected way too much out of him so it was only natural he'd disappear and be feral.

10. When did their childhood end?

I don't think it was a definite ending, more of a gradual thing around his early teens when he realized he had a lot of responsibilities.

Scone

21. How did they become an adventurer?

Scone's best friend Latte (a Yuke who's good with magic) sent her a letter that suggested they'd make a good caravanning team. She was itching to leave the family caravan (she was tired of bailing her siblings out and knew that adventuring was good money) so she agreed!

23. What is their role in the party? Not just their class on a meta level, but among the individuals who make up the party?

Imagine a buff accountant and you have Scone lol.

Like Tinsel, Scone is the tank in combat. However, unlike Tinsel, Scone is weirdly responsible. She makes sure all the supplies are stocked and in order, makes sure everyone takes care of themselves and she keeps track of their earnings. She can be outgoing but she prefers to let her team do the social leg work.

[the-sanders-sides]

inidan american (desi) logan

a sequel to this post because people asked for more and i decided that they shall receive (and also i love writing these)

fair warning, logans a bitter kid, and this isnt as positive and happy as romans post. ive experienced two different ways of being desi, one where i lived in fully asian and indian community and didnt even think id ever feel alone, and another where i moved to a place where i havent met another desi in like 7 years of living here in a 3 hour driving radius. in romans post i played into my first experience and how at home i felt. in the second experience, the one im in right now, i am much more bitter about who i am and not really knowing anyone who gets it anymore. so i play into that A LOT in this. so keep that in mind. (and he will get happier in a future part. m planning on making this into a series)

ok so first off. his name is logan sanders. people (mostly other indians) dont believe him when he tells them. he tells them they dont know indian history. they say they do. he tells them that the british fucked around (quite literally) in india for four centuries so of course english names would stick with that precise wording

sometimes when he’s annoyed enough and doesnt want to explain this for the millionth he defends himself with this russel peters skit (watch it, it’s hilarious) because it describes his family. to a T. 

he grew up in a community with not very many asians, and knew no indians outside his family so he felt a sort of disconnect to his culture

while his grandparents and parents would teach him about indian culture, he felt so distant from it since he knew no one outside his family who was indian, and since he didnt have any siblings or any nearby cousins to hang around with

he had visited india once but he was too young to remember it properly or too remember his cousins

the closest mandir was an hour away so that also limited the amount of indian kids/people he knew

he barely knew hindi because everyone in his family spoke english, especially in public

he felt guilty over the disconnect he felt and would always try to bridge it but would never accomplish this because it he kept losing passion since he rarely saw other people like him in the real world and in the media and he didnt see the point of trying

this all changed in eight grade when he moved next door to the Kumar family in a north indian street of some south asian blocks in an asian community

when his family first moved, the Kumar family invited the Sanders over to welcome them

it turns out the Kumar’s had a son who was the same age as logan

“hi logan! im rohan kumar! but i like going by roman instead of rohan!” 

this introduction pissed logan off 

he was seething because why would this kid who got to have an indian first AND last name change his name to an english one! why didnt he see the value of his name!

he knew right away that such a difference meant they could never be friends 

“im logan sanders, but thats all youll get to know about me because i see no use associating myself with someone as... well, ignorant, as you”

roman decides to whip out one of the swears his cousins taught him and whisper shouts “who are you calling ignorant, bhenchod?” 

 it became clear to him that this was new turf, and people on this new turf must be speaking hindi. and that he was the ignorant one if he couldnt talk in hindi. he made a vow to learn it as fast as he could to make sure this roman kid wasnt better than him

but, logan grits his teeth and says “you, and i know it must be true because you were too dumb to understand me the first time”

this evidently struck a sore spot in roman because he didnt fight back but just stalked away. logan smiled slightly, happy to have won that argument

logan asks his grandpa to teach him hindi and his grandpa gets super excited

they start lessons immediately and despite barely hearing it growing up, it’s as if his brain was made for this because he picks the language up amazingly fast and in a months time, while not able to speak back yet, he can understand most casual conversation

his first diwali in basically little india is the most magical thing ever

diwali at his old home was very quiet because there wasnt anyone around to celebrate with

everyone is so happy in this new home however. everyone is dressed up and all the houses are lit up and there are diyas everywhere and he doesnt want to admit it but the kumar’s have the best rangoli on the street and it’s because of roman and he knows roman did it because sometimes he’d stare out of his bedroom window while doing homework and have a perfect view of roman delicately working on it for two weeks

(the kumar’s front porch had been covered with tarp waiting for diwali to make sure romans precious rangoli wasnt stepped on or ruined. when it’s finally let up, everywhere where there could be art, there is. it’s insane how good at colors roman is, logan thinks)

diwali morning: 

he fights his parents because he doesnt want to miss school for diwali because americans dont have a day off for it. his parents set the clocks in the house ahead to make him think he overslept so he would skip school. (logan didnt know that his parents had submitted an excused absence form for religious reasons and that the school was very understanding. he thought it would be like his old school where he wouldnteven bother trying since he wasnt christain and the school was lkinda discriminatory)

they spend the morning in mandir and it’s nice. for once he doesnt feel different from his peers because he goes to mandir and not church or synagogue. he feels at home.

diwali afternoon:

the afternoon is spent with frantic cleaning and cooking and digging around for the diya’s that were still in boxes, packed away from when they moved

logan offered to find them all to continue with a diya science experiment he started two years prior. his theory was that the diya’s were multiplying and there were more each year despite no one buying anymore

this held true, because even though he could only find half of their diya collection, it was somehow more than the entire diya collection of two years prior. 

diwali evening:

theres a big potluck and everyone in the neighborhood is out talking to each other, looking at the decorations at everyones houses, eating samosas, and playing with sparklers. 

logan feels content

he makes a new resolve to learn more about hinduism. if this is what ti was supposed to be, then he never wanted to be away from hinduism. 

he looked at the metaphors and symbolism in everything and finally understood what his dad meant he told logan that hinduism is just science written in poetry and that string theory is written in the ancient texts

middle school in this new town is so much better than middle school in his old home. why?

a. doesnt get bullied for being a nerd

b. doesnt get called gay slurs 

c. the classes are harder 

d. much less racism

e. all of the above

soon enough, logans asking his grandpa to teach him how to cook Indian food

Logan spends the day burning dosas and making lopsided rotis

(eventually he gets the hang of it, and a he'll be cooking food for an infuriating Indian boy ;) ;) psst it's roman)

Speaking of boys

Coming out isn't an option for logan

He knows that his parents arent really religious enough to really look into hinduism and see that no, gays are not bad

But they are traditional and conservative enough to be homophobic

not homophobic as in spewing hate with the westboro baptist church at a pride parade

But homophobic as in "the gays are fine as long as they don't do it in front of me" kinda thing

So Logan stays quiet

the closet kinda sucks but i mean what can he do

it’s safer inside, and he as illogical as wishing is, he wishes that people would use their brains and realize there’s nothing wrong with gay

anyway

in school logan makes his first desi friend, who was dubbed as anxiety years ago and cant seem to get rid of the nickname and now has a whole complex about his name so logan doesnt know his name

logan and anxiety meet in the school library: logan studying and anxiety hiding

people dont like anxiety

especially non-indian kids

surprise surprise it’s an old buddy called racism, but anxiety’s story is for another time

(but even though no one really likes anxiety, whenever racist shit goes down, it has to go through roman)

so logan and anxiety become fast friends

and they make fun of roman (a+ bonding)

logan claims that roman is a hypocrite for changing his name to an english one while being so immersed in indian culture

anxiety doesnt dispute this, but says he has a past with roman

a past that involved getting stuck with the name anxiety

again, another story for another time

one day, when logan and anxiety are eating lunch they see roman destroy some homophobes who throw around the word f*g and keep calling caitlyn jenner, bruce jenner

logans chest surges

he’s all like “what?? emotions?? pride at roman?? is he better than me for being so open and standing up for what he believes in??”

gay panic basically

but logan masked it well and pushed it away

the next day roman comes to school with a pride patch on his jean jacket

logan feels like he cant breathe

logan is supremely jealous of roman.

he can be gay in peace

he can pretend not to be indian in a way that benefits him

and he’s not affected by stereotypes in the same way?? like what does this kid not have

and by stereotypes i mean

roman is the complete opposite of all indian and desi stereotypes: loud, flamboyant, theatrical

logan’s personality is exactly how the stereotypes are. he’s nerdy and likes science and math and it seems like he cant escape the stereotypes. they follow him. and he feels guilty that he likes science and math and is nerdy. 

as illogical as it is, he wishes he was different from how he is

but logan later learns that there are more than just his perspective on being desi and that every desi kid growing up faces challenges about it that are different than his, causing them to experience being desi differently

and logan will accept that, in another story at another time

for now, he’s just bitter. and as illogical as it is, he wishes the world was better

and now, i shall tag some people who asked to be tagged and some other desi’s who loved this because i feel like you guys might appreciate this too. also i love u. desi famders squad up.

@sssixeyedrunt @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @caterpiller-tea @xxxbladeangelxxx @snufflesthegrim227 @cloudchaser7 @thelowlysatsuma 

[buginabog]

Grow Old With Me?

Summary: childhood friends to lovers arc because WHY NOT

Pairing: Royality, analogical,

Warning: homophobia

-

Patton sat on the swing, swaying back and forth slightly, watching the other kids play. It wasnt that he didnt want to play, it's just that he was too shy to talk to anyone, and no one came up to him really.

"Hi! I'm Roman! What's you name? Do you want to be friends?"

Well, other than this kid. Patton blinked at him in shock, and then smiled, "Yeah! My names Patton!"

Roman grin took up almost his whole face, "Hi Patton!" He held up the plastic sword, "d'you wanna quest with me?"

Patton hopped off the swing and picked up a stick, brandishing it like a sword, "let's go!"

-

Roman stood under the awning with Patton, talking energetically as he waited for his dads to come pick him up.

"-and THATS why Eugene is the BEST Disney prince ever! Even my Papi agrees, he agrees a lot actually. Dad says he has a crush on him because he likes him so much!"

Patton tilted his head, confused, "you have two dads?"

Roman's smile faltered slightly, "um, yeah, is that ok?"

Patton thought for a second, and then nodded, smiling, "yeap!"

Roman's grin returned full force, "great! By the way, who's your favorite Disney movie?"

And they talked and talked until one of the monitors called out, "Roman Sanders! Your parents are here!"

Roman smiled and waved to Patton, "see you tomorrow best friend!"

Patton smiled back and waved, "bye Roman!"

Roman climbed into his car, "hey Ro! Have a good first day of kindergarten?"

Roman smiled at his Papi, "yeah! I made a new friend! His name is Patton and hes really cool and he has a Winnie the Pooh backpack and he fought a dragon witch with me and hes my new best friend!"

His Dad smiled at him in the mirror, "I take it you had fun today, Roman?"

Roman smiled back, "I did!

Logan smirked at his husband, "I told you he would be fine."

Virgil huffed slightly, "you wound me, my love."

-

Patton woke up excited. Why? Because it was the first day of third grade, and he would get to see his best friend for the first time in three months.

He got on the bus nervously, hoping none of the kids had gotten mean over the summer. Thankfully, and kind of sadly, no one talked to him as he walked to his seat, everyone was tired and ready for the day to begin.

He walked into his new class, hoping it had Roman in it, but he didnt see him. He walked around, looking for a seat that was somewhat on its own, before he was hugged from behind, "Hey Pat!!!"

Patton turned around, smiling at his best friend, "Hi, Roman!"

Roman smiled, grabbing his hand, "let's go find places to sit!"

-

After Christmas break, the teacher went up to the front of the class guiding a little boy by his shoulders, "everyone, this is Emile, say hello!"

The entire class chorused, "Hello Emile!"

The teacher smiled, and turned to Emile, "is there anything you'd like to say about yourself?" Emile shook his head, looking at the ground. The teacher smiled, "that's ok dearie!" She looked around the room and her gaze landed on Patton and Roman's desk, which had one other kid, "why dont you sit over there, ok?"

Emile nodded and walked over slowly. As he sat down Patton smiled, "hi! I'm Patton!" Emile smiled slightly, but didnt say anything back, instead opening a book and starting to read.

-

It was fifth grade that Patton realized, he liked guys maybe more than other boys did. It wasnt his fault he hadn't noticed! He thought everyone liked boys like that! It wasnt like he didnt like girls though, so he couldn't be gay. He had had a 'girlfriend' in fourth grade! Well, they had never kissed or anything, but still! It wasnt like he was gay!

-

One night, in sixth grade, when he was sleeping over at Roman's house, he decided that the best person to ask about whether or not he was gay would be one of Roman's dads.

He walked into the kitchen, where Mr. Logan was grading papers, "Mr. Logan?"

Logan looked up, "yes Patton? Do you need water?"

Patton shook his head, "uh, no, I just... had a question..."

Logan frowned and leaned back in his chair, "about what?"

Patton nervously bounced on the heels of his feet, "well, I, uh.... howdidyouknowyouweregay?"

Logan frowned, "what possessed you to ask me all of a sudden?"

Patton chewed on his bottom lip, "well, I was thinking, and I realized I like guys, like, a lot, but I also like girls so..."

Logan smiled, "have you ever heard of bisexual? Or pansexual?"

Patton tilted his head, "uh.....no?"

"Its basically when a person likes people regardless of gender." Logan explained.

Patton sighed, "oooooooohhhhh. Oh, ok." He grinned, "thanks Mr. Logan!"

Logan bowed his head, "my pleasure Patton."

-

One day, in seventh grade, Roman strutted into the classroom wearing a red skirt and gold long sleeved shirt, he was also wearing a golden necklace with a small dark garnet on the pendant.

Patton blinked at his friend for a minute, not fully computing the image in front of him, "...what are you wearing?"

Roman smirked at sat down, "a skirt, was it not obvious?"

Patton giggled a little, "yeah but... you can DO that?"

Roman smiled, "of course! It's just clothing!"

Patton looked at the desk, "oh."

Roman's smile faded, "is it weird? Do you not like it?"

Patton shook his head, "no, no, I love it!"

Roman tried to ignore the small thrill that went through him at that, "then what's wrong?"

Patton thought for a second, "well, nothing actually!"

Roman grinned, "perfect! Because I look awesome."

Patton giggled, "I'd have to agree."

-

"Romaaaaaaaaan!"

"Yeah Pat?"

"...I have a problem."

"With what?"

Just after Roman had uttered the question, Remy Somnus walked past, the problem in question, he smiled slightly at Patton, "Hey Pat!" They said, raising their hand in greeting.

"Um, hi, Remy" Patton squeaked, blushing bright red. Remy smiled before moving on.

Something twisted in Roman's chest, something dark and ugly and... painful. But he shoved it down at Pattons pleading eyes. He always was a sucker for those puppy-dog eyes. "Please help me. I'm a disaster around them."

Roman laughed despite the pain in his chest, "obviously."

Patton grinned, the gleam that entered his eyes whenever he was about to pun returning, "I need, roman-ce advice!"

Roman laughed, "one of your better puns Pat!"

Patton gave him a little bow, "thank you sir"

Roman smiled, "but yeah," he internally screamed, but what came out of his mouth was, "I'll help you with Remy."

Patton grinned, "oh my- THANK YOUUUU!"

-

Eighth grade was the worst year of Roman's life. He had, true to his promise, helped Patton with Remy. Unfortunately, that worked. So Patton and Remy dated for the entirety of eighth grade.

However, halfway through summer vacation, Patton called Roman.

"Sup Pat?"

"Hey."

"Are you ok?"

"... can we go get ice cream?"

"Let me go ask my dads..."

His dads said yes without much protest once he explained how dejected Patton had sounded over the phone, and drove him over to Pattons, and then to an ice cream place, where they told Roman to text them when he was ready to leave and left them alone.

Roman licked his ice cream cone, "soooo, what's up?"

Patton stabbed his ice cream with his spoon, "...me and Remy broke up."

Roman feigned sadness while the asshole inside him danced around laughing, "what?! What happened? Who do I need to beat up?"

Patton looked at him, shocked, "no! You dknt need to beat anyone up!"

Roman frowned, "then... why are you so sad?"

Patton sighed, "they told me that they thought I was into you and told me to choose you or them."

Roman was stunned, "and... you chose me?" His hopes soared higher than a skyscraper.

Patton looked taken aback, "of course! You're my best friend!" His hopes fell all the way back down to the ground, and then some.

He smiled, "well, thanks."

Patton grinned, "of course!"

-

It wasnt until tenth grade until Patton returned Roman's feelings, Roman had come to school wearing a high waisted skirt and leggings, and a red tank that said, "The Prince" in glittery gold letters. When Patton first saw him, he almost had an anime nosebleed moment. Roman noticed him and grinned, running toward him, "hey pat! Like the outfit?"

Patton nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"You ok? You look a little like an owl there buddy."

Patton shook himself back into reality and smiled, "no, no, I'm fine. You look amazing!"

Roman grinned, "I know right?"

-

Roman invited Patton over for the night, their New Years tradition since first grade, and Patton was intent on telling him how he felt.

His first opportunity came during dinner, the talk had turned to romance, with Logan and Virgil telling stories of when they were first dating, Roman had sighed wistfully and said, "I hope I have such a compelling story to tell my kids."

Patton could have said something, he opened his mouth, but he... he couldnt.

The second came as they were playing a game, "I wish as many people liked me as they like you." Roman said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, so many people like you. I'm just... there."

'You're so much more than that.' Patton thought, but he said nothing.

The third opportunity came at midnight, he was going to kiss Roman to start the new year off right. But... he couldnt.

But finally, while Logan and Virgil were setting off fireworks, and Roman was looking at them, awestruck, and he looked so beautiful in the shades of red and pink and yellow, and finally, Patton tapped Roman on the shoulder. Roman turned to him, his smile slightly confused, "yeah Pat?"

Pattons heart was beating a thousand miles per minute, and finally he exhaled, looked Roman in the eyes, and said, "please dont hate me after this."

Roman frowned, "Patton what do you mea-"

Patton cut him off with a soft kiss. Then he pulled away, "was that ok?"

Roman looked at him the same way he had looked at the fireworks, "Patton, I-" he sighed, and smiled, "yeah, it was perfect."

They kissed again, until they were interrupted by Virgil yelling, "Wait! Wait! Which one of you finally did it?" Roman and Patton looked at him in confusion, but Roman pointed at Patton. "Dammit! Now I owe your father twenty bucks!"

Logan smiled and draped his arm around Virgils shoulders, "I would take a different kind of payment."

Virgil rolled his eyes, but smiled as he leaned in to kiss his husband.

-

The day before eleventh grade started, Roman opened the door, which someone had been banging on with the force of a medieval battering ram, and saw, "Patton?"

His boyfriend was red in the face, and panting, and sweating like he had ran all the way here. There was a canvas duffel bag at his feet, and tears running down his face. He rushed at Roman and hugged him tightly. "Whoah, whoah, babe? Are you ok?" Patton mumbled something into his chest, "darling, I cant hear that."

Patton pulled his head away, and started talking through his sobs, "my, my mom, found out, she, she found out I'm pan, and she, she said it's just because, just because I've been around your, your family, and she, she kicked me out."

Romans eyes flared and he wanted to find that bitch and strangle her. But right now Patton needed him. "Shh, it's ok, I got you, ok? We're gonna figure this out."

"Roman? What's going on?" Virgil walked into the entrance hallway and saw the scene, he took in the duffel bag, the crying Patton, and Roman who looked like he wanted to strangle someone. He put a hand on Pattons shoulder and asked him softly, "do you need a place to stay?"

Patton nodded, and Virgil nodded back, "ok, you can stay in the guest room." He glared at Roman, "no he cannot stay in your room."

Roman whined, "why nooooot."

Virgil raised an eyebrow, "hes your boyfriend. Do I have to explain further?"

Patton laughed as Roman muttered, "I guess not."

-

Roman adjusted the cuffs on his suit jacket. He was dressed in a red jacket with black slacks and a white shirt and gold bow tie. "Patton! Are you ready? We have to leave soon!"

"Almooooost!" Came the call from upstairs. Roman waited a few seconds before Patton sung-called "I'm ready!" Roman turned towards the stairs and had to catch his breath. Patton was wearing a long sleeved blue blouse, and a swishy yellow skirt, separated by a pink ribbon with a bow in the back. He was wearing a white headband and a rose gold necklace with a small rose pendant on it, all with sky blue flats with small bows on the toes. He smiled and twirled, then placed his hand in Roman's, "ready for prom?" He asked, his eyes shining.

Roman grinned, "of course."

-

They were twenty five and walking through the park on their anniversary. Patton was fiddling with something in his skirt pocket, had been the whole date, and Roman noticed, but he didnt say anything. They walked up to a fountain, and stood, watching the water fall for a minute, before Patton began talking, "Roman?"

"Yes mi amor?"

Patton sighed and turned to him, "we've been dating for 11 years, and they've been the best years of my life."

Roman looked at him, confused, "mine too."

Patton smiled and bounced slightly, "well, I just cant believe that all of this is real, and... well, I'm not good at romantic declarations so..." he got down on one knee.

"Oh my god." Roman brought his hands up to his face in shock.

"Roman Royal Sanders,"

"Oh my god" his eyes started to fill with happy tears.

"Would you grow old with me?"

"Oh my god YES! YES!" He flung himself at his boyfriend-fiancè and hugged him, then kissed him.

Patton pulled back and slid the ring onto Roman's finger, a band of gold with a ruby sun set on it.

-

Roman took a breath as he looked at himself in the mirror, he was wearing a black and white tuxedo with a red tie. He took a deep breath and shook his hands out. "Nervous?" Came from behind him.

Roman turned around to see his Papi in his black and purple suit. "Papi!" He said, and ran and hugged him, he pulled back, "to answer your question, yes. Very. I'm very nervous."

His Papi smiled, "did you know I was nervous when I married your dad?"

Roman frowned, "you make it sound like you were so confident though!"

Virgil laughed, "yeah, well, I was. But I was still nervous." He clasped Roman's shoulder, "it's a big move. I'd be worried if you weren't nervous."

Roman smiled, "thanks Papi."

-

Roman looked at the archway where his now-husband would come through. The wedding location could barely be more picturesque. It was a large field full of wildflowers and ringed with trees, the archway was draped with babys breath and yellow tulips. And then Patton walked through. He was wearing a beautiful white dress with blue train, he had a flower crown on his head, and a bouquet clutched between both hands. He was so handsome.

The priest said all the usual things, and then left them to their vows.

Roman went first, "Patton, when I first met you, we were so young, and we've grown and changed since then, and I quite like it all. But what mesmerizes me the most, is how, out of millions of galaxies, planets, universes, we ended up here, holding hands, getting married, and I could not be luckier. So, Patton Thomas Hart, I take you for my lawfully wedded husband."

Patton smiled, "Roman, when you first met me, I was a shy, lonely little kid, and I wanted a friend more than anything, and you gave me one, and so much more. You helped break me out of my shell, helped me figure out who I am, you helped me when I needed it, and even if theres no such thing as soulmates, you're the closest I could get. So, Roman Royal Sanders, I take you as my lawfully wedded husband."

-

(Can yall tell I've never been to a wedding before? Oh, wait, I have, I just wasnt paying attention)

-

Roman paced the waiting room, breathing heavy, and trying not to faint. Patton smiled at him from his seat, "Roman, honey, itll be fine."

Roman groaned, "what if I mess them up? What if they hate me? What if, what if,"

Patton stood up and rested his hand on Roman's arm, "Roman, honey, b r e a t h e."

Roman sighed, "yeah, yeah, ok."

Patton smiled, and the doctor came in, "you can go in now sirs."

They walked in and smiled at the girl on the hospital bed. She smiled tiredly and gestured at the crib holding the baby. "There he is, can I just... hold him for a second?"

Patton nodded, "of course." He picked up the baby and gave him to his mother.

She smiled sadly at the baby in her arms, "hello there. I'm sorry, but these men can give you a better home than I can, ok? I'm not ready. Not yet. But they are, you be good for them ok? They're your dads now." She smiled at them, tears in her eyes, "what are you gonna name him?"

Patton held her hand, "Thomas."

She smiled, "ok, Thomas, this is my goodbye, ok? Bye bye."

Patton kissed his new son on the forehead, and smiled up at Roman, then looked back to the tired girl on the hospital bed, "we'll take care of him."

She smiled, "good."

-

Patton breathed in and out as he laid in the hospital bed. It had been a long life, and he was ready to go. He smiled at Roman, who was crying. "No, you can't go, I'm not ready."

Patton smiled sadly and put a hand on Roman's cheek, "I am, and I will meet you there, I promise."

Roman breathed out, "ok, ok."

Patton laughed weakly, "thank you for growing old with me, Roman."

Roman kissed him softly, "I would do it over again in a heartbeat."

Patton smiled as he sank into the pillow.

He died with a smile on his face.

-

Roman ran toward the lonely boy on the swings, "Hi! I'm Roman! What's your name? Wanna be friends?"

The other boy blinked, then smiled shyly, "yeah! I'm Patton!"

[motakimask]

Stuff that happen at school 1

So Im back to school and I still hate everything but once in a while some actually funny or interesting stuff happen so why not post them? Im planing on doing this every friday or saturday if I fell asleep the moment I get home...

Monday: 

Our school has this system where if there are to many students in one grade they split them into A and B, the students who have been in the same school for a while normally end up in group A and I always been there since Kindergarden but for some reason I was changed to group B, I dont mind because I just cant stand the group A teacher but I kind off get along with the group B one (my mother wanted me to be in group A but I explained her why I didn´t want to be there, she still angry about it but she still prefers the group B teacher)

Finally being a greek mytholohy nerd finally was useful for me, the firts thing the teacher told us to read was the Iliad and he even made a little quiz about it, I mean, the class is called language and literature and most of the time we talk about greek and roman literature so yeah...

Im friends with this girl from group A, she is pretty much the embodiment of being an extrovert and she is always screaming and doing weird stuff, everytime she sees me she screams my name and says sometime dramatic...

There is this one guy who´s clothes are 100% anime merchandise, likes drawing and has httyd fanart glued to his notebooks... *softly chants one of us*

Tuesday:

There is this teacher who everyone thinks is all seriousness and such but to be honest, not really, he literally fornite dance in the middle of a class just because a guy told him to do that...

Aparently P.E class is not obligatory anymore but the principal forces us to do that anyway and there was this part where we had to do some squads and all the boys where sticking their buts out which was the only good part of the class (also this girls keeps saying she has her period but she says that every week so...)

Wednesday:

I love this teacher, seriously, he let us watch movies, he lets us eat lunch in his classroom and even brought the entire MCU movies to watch one everyday at lunch break, besides he makes all sorts of geeky references in the middle of the class, nothing better than talking about the theory of relativity while using Goku´s teletransportation as an example...

Another teacher I love, she used to be our english teacher at elementary school (most of what I know is because  of her), now we have this class that is basically a book club and she is going to be in charge of that this year A.K.A she is going to bring all sort of geeky books and even said we where going to analize the movie adaptations.

Apparently we are making some sort of book parade on april and we have three options, give people books, being the ones who cheer up the crowd or dress like book characters and act some scenes... I DONT EVEN KNOW AS WHO IM GOING TO BE DRESSED AS BUT IM ALREADY EXITED!

Our math teacher was bussy talking with some parents or students (dont know who it was) and meanwhile she was gone, there where this two guys doing and imprivised ouija board...

Thursday:

We have this obligatory “orientation for life” class, basically the teacher is the “psycologist” of our school, she told us to make teams because we are going to be doing lots of group projects, I as always just sit there and go with whoever lacks a member and of course, it had to be ones who made the improvised ouija board... and two new kids, they also called our team ”The barbies” and this one guy keeps calling himself the supreme Barbie (he isn´t the leader thought) but I guess is better than the “I dont know”, or the Mangos, this other one team was called the dark team... THAT´S WHY NOBODY LET US NAME SOMETHING!

Friday:

Class with the cool science teacher, he is also crazy... He´s apparently planing a little experiment for next week and he ask us to brin and I quote “Two fly wings, one ant, one spider, some fungus and cheap food colorant” It felt like he was telling us ingredients to some weird potion or something... You know, like the ones you see in kid´s books...

I live in El Salvador, the capital to be especific, there is a reason why some people call it “the valley of hammocks”, we dont really have earthquakes that often or at least they are not so bad (of course, there are exeptions like the 2001 eartquake) and of course, there was one of those at the middle of social studies class, nothing big, just a few seconds of the chairs and desks shaking, but for some reason our teacher didn´t felt it... (the same guy who did the fornite dance)

And yes, the girl from group A still screams everytime she sees me...