#i dont think people need labels and i think everyone sees a label a bit differently

[1013121197]

wild how i go my whole life without internalised acephobia and yet struggle ruthlessly with my internalised arophobia. smh my head pretty cringe fail i cannot lie

is it the fact that i love love so much? the love of romance? idk man, i just work here, i don't know the inner how's and why's and i don't think i need to.

[rottingraisins]

it kinda sucks that you hc a canonically pansexual character as gay (clef)

i deliberated not answering this one bc i dont rlly mean to get into representation discourse or w/e during pride month of all things but i think the sentiment behind it is very fair so i feel bad ignoring it.

firstly, i think it needs to be said that clefs "canon" romantic orientation is very much just, whatevers funniest or most poignant for what youre trying to do with him. i understand the sentiment, there are characters in scp who are queer in a very specific and straightforward way where i'd also be upset if people erased that about them, but clef is not that guy. he is probably the single most contradictory character across the entire wiki, and everyones got a bit of their own take on him.

secondly, to defend my own take a little, i don't even really see clef as strictly homoromantic. i think when applying queer labels to fictional characters one tends to kind of treat them as these ontological, prescriptive truths, rather than how labels are used in real life, by the individual themselves to approximate their lived experience.

what i'm trying to say is i don't think clef the character, at least the version of him i'm most fond of, the fifty something year old reformed casual homophobe from resurrection and co, really knows what the term "pansexual" means, or "mlm", or "demiromantic", which are other words i'd use to describe him if i were using the prescriptive approach.

i think clefs relationship to romance is deeply complicated and not something he spends a lot of time really thinking about, and in practice, despite the theroretical breadth of his capacity to be attracted to other people, he's really only attracted to men, which is to say one particular man who also just so happens to be dead, so there's no point in really dwelling on it.

[sunny-ssunset]

Love LOVED your honest dating and the smoking hc, would you be comfortable doing one of those for Craig's gang??

Honest dating headcanons 💯 🔥

dividers by pinterest

Craig's gang

Masterlist!

♡Course i can lmao I was thinking about doing one with craigs gang lol (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)

♡Idk why but the jimmy one is really sad lmao

Craig

•Bro could not care less about you

•He wont care if you break up

•He wont treat you any differently in or after the relationship

•He'd hang out with you once and then you'd start dating with out you knowing

•It just happens one day lmao

•He just tells everyone your together

•He wont do any sort of physical affection

•He might buy you a gift on your birthday

•Tbh i dont picture him being an overly horrible person i just think he is boring as fuck

•Literally doesnt kiss you or hold your hand

•its just being w friends with more labels

Tweak

•Gets a nosebleed whenever you make eye contact

•SUPER nervous around you

•He cannot even comprehend you liking him let alone being in a relationship with him

•Dating freaks him the fuck out

•After you ask him out (sorry but there is no chance of him doing that)

•And even then theres only a 50 percent chance of him saying yes. Even though he likes you

•Overthinks all the time

•If you leave him on delivered for one second he'll freak out

•He is very anxious with you

•Needs constant reassurance you like him

•He is a bit of a pick me, he sends this emoji 🥺

•He is so clingy

•He'll cry if he sees you talking to anyone but him

•If you ever broke up he would never be able to talk or look at you again

Jimmy

•He asked you out as a dare thinking you would say no and you said yes

•Felt too bad to break up with you

•Has been convincing himself to love you ever since

•He'll try give you the ick or being mean to you to get you to break up with him

•You actually fall more in love with him

•He'll start to fall for you too

•If you laugh at his jokes

•Or make an effort to make him laugh

•But then his dreams get crushed

•Someone told you that he asked you out as a joke

•You genuinely get upset and break up with him

•Leaving him heart broken

•He brings you gifts and he looks at you whenever he makes jokes to see if you laugh

•He hates himself for what he did :(

Tolkien

•Probably the most sane relationship you will have

•He wont admit it

•But he is very very stuck up

•He has a very particular taste, like kyle

•However unlike kyle he is a pretty rizzy rizzler

•He'll take you out on nice dates

•He gets bored pretty easily though

•He'll break up with you in a nice way though

•He'll drop a bunch of flowers or chocolates at your door or locker and write you a note

•Too stuck up to do it in person

•He'll treat you like the relationship never happened when you break up though

•Like everything goes back to normal

Clyde

•He is a pretty well wanted guy in south park high

•He gets a lot of bitches which is very odd because he is one of those guys that really arent anything special but they pull so much

•These people have fueled his ego so much, he thinks he is Ryan gosling

•He'll come up to you like 'sup then ask you know a date

•You'll start dating

•He can be really sweet but he acts all tough because he is the epitome of toxic masculinity

•He got bullied for being a 'crybaby' so i guess he made himself the opposite to fit in

•He gets pissed off when you say he is being flirty with other people

•He cheats on you one night when he is drunk (suprise suprise)

•He cries telling you it was a mistake

•And you dump him in front of everyone

•And he makes you out to be the problem

•Then the whole school hates you

dividers by @k1ssyoursister

[sp0-t]

JOHNNY “SOAP” MCTAVISH

(ideas wanted, needed, and encouraged! Inbox is open)

Johnny was always “a character” that’s how many people described him in your town. Johnny was like that one cousin that you don’t talk about, that your parents would nudge you and give you a look to “shut up”. It was as if speaking his name was a taboo, or sin, well it basically was. Your small town was very religious, centered their lives around god and church, and lord forbid anyone step out of line in that routine.

So you never did, you stayed in line like everyone else cause well that’s what god would want you to do, so you did it happily. However, why would your town want to shun someone away so bad, shun them from others and especially even god. Why could even god not lay his eyes on such a man he created?

Johnny was “different”, he was difficult and hard headed. Nobody liked that about him. You, and everyone else your age in town that grew up with Johnny, were told to distance to “be only necessarily nice.” This resulted in Johnny being the outcast of the town, when you were younger you knew he would get bullied, but ever since he knocked out one of them nobody messed with him. This had its pros and its cons, one one hand he wouldn’t get messed with anymore, and on the other the whole town now labeled him as “dangerous”, someone not safe to be around the other children.

Johnny was distant due to this, kept even more to himself. When high school hit he was know as the “bad boy” the “delinquent” even a “criminal”. The last one was due to Johnny stealing a lighter once and getting caught, it also didn’t help that he drives a motorcycle now that he was 18. In both of your senior years everyone started to notice just how attractive Johnny actually was, how he had grown into his looks and even gained weight in all the right places. This lead to him being invited to some parties, secretly of course, everyone thought he’d just walk in and come as he pleased.

You saw yourself as a good religious child growing up, you behaved well and were above average in school. But you thought maybe you deserved a bit of fun, it was the week before finals, you knew you should’ve been at home studying but you couldn’t help but give into the temptation.

You went with your group of friends to try and get your mind off of the upcoming week. Once you got to the party most of your friends all spread out throughout the house. You weren’t the most popular kid but you definitely weren’t the least, you saw some other people you knew and went to meet with them. You talked for a while and ended up finding yourself at a beer pong table, watching the current game going on. It was between the known jock of the school, who was also the host, and another one of his teammates.

You looked around the room and spotted someone you hadn’t expected to see. There was Johnny in the corner of the room looking down at the game going on. You looked away quickly in case he tried to catch your gaze. The game finished with the head jock being the victor, excitingly putting his arms up in the air.

“Who wants to challenge me next huh!”

You were shoved forward by one of your friends, before you could step back into the crowd to hide yourself, he spot you.

“Hey, hot stuff! You think you’re ready for the challenge?”

You tried to speak to the obviously drunk jock before someone else’s voice stepped in.

“I am, if ya ‘ave the balls to give it a go.”

He glances from you back to Johnny, when a smirk forms on his face

“Sure Johnny boy, but, it’s 2 verses 1. I get hot cakes over here and you can stay over there.”

You feel his hand land on your waist as you get tugged closer into his side.

“And what do you get if you win.”

“If I win, I get the keys to the nice bike you got sitting outside.”

…

“Sure. but if I win, I get that nice piece of eye candy you got on ‘ur arm.”

“Hey! I never-“

“Deal.”

This was going to be a long night

💿: HEY! SO P.S. I ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS STORY! I DONT THINK I WROTE IT WELL AND I THINK IT JUST SUCKS IN GENERAL IM SO SORRY, even though that wasn’t all of it. But I just really hate it. Anyways, if you guys take a stroll through my page you’d see I have absolutely nothing for soap, and it makes me so sad cause I absolutely love soap both in game and in the fandom. So this is a tiny cry for help for ideas/story prompts for soap.

I am trying to find a good prompt or idea for soap but I feel like some of the ones I have came up with are already so common that it would wind up being too repetitive or predictable. (not saying that they’re bad!!)

I won’t leave you guys with nothing though so I wrote a bit of soap for my sake to try and get ideas as well as to finally get the need to write for soap out of my system.

written by: @sp0-t ©️

[hoardingpuffin]

OK so i am confused and dont know what 2 think and i totally get if yall cant answer bc lore and shit but like are virwood gon be a thing or no caus i feel like everyone keeps hintin but then also you keep sayin no so

So - first of all, any plans for relationships between any of the characters I'd rather not talk about cause a) not all is decided yet and b) spoilers. But this gives me an opportunity to talk about something I was going to make a post about anyways, and that's Elwood's identity. I've said before that he's aroace spec but specifically he is demiromantic [not sure where on the ace spectrum he falls and I don't think I'll label it specifically? He's just some variation of ace that I'll leave up for interpretation], and that is a pretty important bit to me as I am also demiromantic. So before any relationship would happen in canon, be that Virwood or any other one, Elwood would need a lot more time to bond with the other person, form an emotional basis before romance would enter the figurative arena as it were?

So yeah... I guess my answer is "we'll see"? I think for now Elwood's lore will focus more on him just meeting people and also him fixing his relationship with Mojave. But we'll see!

Also - and at risk of me sounding old in internet fandom terms - you really don't have to attach what you do or don't ship to what is canon. A big part of the fun in shipping is that it doesn't have to be canon. Look at the chaos [affectionate] that was Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons back in the day! So yeah - if you ship Virwood, go all out! Have fun! If you don't ship em, also totally fair! Have fun!

[ganondoodle]

Will Zelda abolish the monarchy in your TotK rewrite?

HM

she will not turn to the camera and say "i am abolishing monarchy" (since that needs to be said these days ..) but in a way its kinda meant to be like .. the opposite of the canon totk messaging?

like, fictional monarchy in itself isnt like the root of all evil, its the ideology that goes with it? i like fictional monarchy stuff and other races got them too so i wouldnt say its a clear -this is bad- thing

i do want to turn the whole idea of "hyrules royalty and its ruling is always good and just and anyone against it is automatically labeled as evil" upside down .. or more like, let it go further, rauru in the rewrite is .. similar to the canon one, thats kinda the point, hes the good and just king that wants to unite all nations in peace and wants to get rid of any "evil" be it monsters or someone threatening his 'peace'

but then you think about it, his idea of 'peace' is very specific, not everyone might want to be under his control, not everyone might have joined willingly and just bc theres someone opposing him does not have to mean they are some evil demon, all this talk might have been deliberate manipulation of history, he says hes invited a nation to join under his rule? he makes it sound like it was a nice offering like bringing a piece of cake to a neighbour, but it could be anything, he has those magical nuclear power pebbles, multiple, even just having them has an effect on others, he can say he would only use them for good, but that can be a lie, and more importantly, you dont know what his idea of 'good' is he can say he would never use it to hurt people, but what if he declares others to not BE people in his eyes he wants to bring about a world of light with no shadow to be found, rebuild a glorious kingdom of the past, there will be no shadow to hide in, there will be no place he is not, as he is the light, the king of light, and he knows whats best for all in his eternal, holy kingdom of light

.. most of this isnt even non-canon, it just gets presented as he says it, a one note fact, and you are supposed to agree- so really im just rewriting that part to be more overtly how it felt like to ME, and turnign the second half into opposing that bc hey, this might not be cool actually

im really jsut cranking raurus actions and ideals up just a tiny bit, and show more directly that its the behavoir of an imperialist king of all

so really its more like .. teaching her the lesson of how easy it is to fall into that line of thinking, how you need to consider .. maybe blindly following old traditions isnt always good, consider other perspectives, be careful bc she could have gone into that direction too (like she literally does in the canon totk end ..) and in a way she already has, but afterwards (in the rewrite) she can work against that, she could be rauru and has to decide and work against it

i know that isnt a clear answer, this whole idea is a little hmm to me bc TO ME canon totk already reads like that, and i want to work against it, bc in canon it goes unchallenged, and alot of people ... alot of people..., just go along with it seemingly not even beign able to see how its all suspicious-

in the end, i want it to be a careful but hopeful vibe of, zelda as a scientist, a historian, interested in alot of fields, being able to change something, a shift in perspective, like lady eboshi in princess monokoe saying at the end that they will start anew, now building good town- its not garanteed, zelda is still in a position of power, but she doesnt have to rebuild it like it was, people might still refer to her as princess and have high respect for her, but after being so deceived by rauru, being on the opposing side to almost the exact idea they once had, it has humbled them and can pave the way for a better future

ganondorfs spirit at the end moving on after finally being able to take out rauru, even if it meant to help out those hed see as being in the prime spot to become jsut like rauru, over the course of the second half all of them learning of each other, now more confident these younglings of a world thats long changed and not his anymore being able to build something better, and years after the ordeal theres news of a male gerudo having been born

(i know that idea goes agaisnt what made up his character for alot of the other games (though rewrite totk gan is still a different one from the old games), like his eternal problem of not being able to move on and refusing to die, and im sure theres lots of not the bestest thigns in my writing of it all too, but so far, its what i have been imagining, and unfortnately i am a sucker for those types of cliché endings-

it doesnt have to mean the next games would be going up against the gods or soemthing, though i do like that, but i felt like its a nice end for botws world, and much less uncomfortable than the canon totk end, theres no refounding of the kingdom, no swears of fealty, just young people working to rebuild the world into something better after it was almost wiped out, the kingdom already fell in botw, and the world kept on turning, i see no reason why it shouldnt be able to keep doing it)

[imunderthegoddamnwater]

I missed the Dreamtale twins....well, my version of them atleast

Honestly I redesigned Nightmare and Dream because I hate the creator and since she throws a tantrum like a baby whenever someone makes a change in her au I use it to make her mad :]

Anyways here is a bit of lore about them:

-Dream and Nightmare arent really "a version of sans", they never been one

-Dream has some plant features in his sans form just like his Mother (he hates it lol)

-Dream uses a sans look like appearance because he doesnt wants to scare people he helps, after all, Both Dream and Nightmare are the sons of an Angel (Yes they do technicaly have a dad), and looking at an Angel like creature is hard and kind of disturbing for mortals, its not hard for their friends to look at them since their eyes have got used to it, but someone Who just met Dream or Nightmare wont be that okay with it

-Nightmare and Dream can be called she, it, he or anything else, they dont label things, That also counts for sexualities, races, genders and more, they are whatever you call them, they wont really care

-Dream and Nightmare has an older brother called "Savior" (Who looks like a papyrus)

-Dream and Nightmare hates their mom, Nim ruined Nightmare by manipulating him to do shit she's not able to do herself and also was one of the reasons for the Apple incident, Dream was neglected a lot by Nim since she was more focused on Nightmare, she was manipulative towards him as well

-Nightmare and Dream made a truce almost a decade ago, they are mostly okay with eachother (they both technicaly are good guys in their own way)

-The only thing Dream and Nightmare has in common with a sans is their love for junk food and bad puns

-Nightmare turning Dream into stone bit might not be in this au (Im not sure yet)

-Nightmare usually doesnt uses a sans disguise since he has trauma related to the incident with it, he usually uses an Undyne disguise if he needs to, Also her second favorite disguise is Asgore

-Nightmare can have a disguise but he cant hide what happened to his eye, that part stays the same

-Sometimes flowers blooms on top of Dream’s head if he's happy or frustered

-Nightmare sees his team as his kids (and talks about them like they are his kids) while Dream sees his team as friends

-Dream's best friend is ��nk

-Nightmare and Dream are in good terms

-Dream and Nightmare shares a similiar hate towards mortals like their mom, but ofcourse they have expections

-Nightmare's best friends are Ccino and Abby/Abolitionist Chara

-Dream dates Fresh while Nightmare is with Reaper Sans 🤭

-Nightmare likes reading and tea

-Both Dream and Nightmare will outlive their teams :(

-Dream keeps forgetting that his friends are mortals and they need stuff like sleep and eating at times, meanwhile Nightmare was forced to learn since everyone in his castle are insane and ignores their own needs, meaning Nightmare had to learn to take care of them

-Both Nightmare and Dream are physicaly very strong

-Both Dream and Nightmare can consume rotten food without any issue, they are literal gods of Negativity and Positivity, they cant get sick that easily

-Dream is nice but he isnt weak or dumb, he also does NOT has the mind set of a child, he will kick ass if he needs to

-Both Dream and Nightmare has issues with the english launguage since some words were very different, as an example, the word gay meant "joyful" and "happy" in the past....I dont think I need to explain what kind of train wrack this cauzed

-Savior is a good older brother so both Dream and Nightmare loves him

-Both of the guardians teams did several tests behind Dream and Nightmare's backs to see if they are plants or not, neither of them find the answer yet...

-Dream and Nightmare suspects they might turn into a tree when they become older, they dont like the idea :(

Thats all that I can remember

[ghosting-plural-userboxes]

we aren't comfy putting this on the post without an anon, but while we completely understand where rwuffles was coming from, and desirharmful terms can definitely be a case-by-case basis and should definitely be used responsibly. another firm reminder (not directed at to you guys, but to anyone in general) that there are people who 100% know how to be safe on the internet, there are people who know how to use these terms publicly to express their experiences and still be safe about it. and immediately assuming people dont is harmful in itself.

I don't doubt that some people might be a bit gullible about the concerns, and we should definitely help them understand the issues with using them publicly (especially if their a minor). But that's all we should and can do as people will still use them as they see fit regardless. The whole point of desirdae is a coping mechanism, it's a label.

and homestly it really makes me angry when they said it can put people at risk of being a victim again. because the reason we use desirdae is so we *don't* become a victim again. it helps us accept and manage and track our experiences. And even on the off chance that someone tried something, we know how to use the block button. But, that's just us. Others experiences can definitely be different. But, I really hope this doesnt end up becoming a label policing situation. Because desirdae is legitimately helping us heal, and we have every right to put it wherever we want, even if it's public.

sorry if this is overwhelming, feel.free to ignore it, we just really had to put our two cents in.

ah thank you anon!

and yes we do agree with you fully!

we also agree with rwuffles

it’s not always safe to be open about things on the internet and it can put you at risk BUT to assume EVERYONE needs to not be open can be harmful.

some people have safety nets put in place or are at a point where they understand the risk fully!

sorry we didn’t mean for this to turn into drama(if it has)

we ourselves are open about our desirdae terms on our prns.cc and such cuz we know we can stay safe! But we also know that some people aren’t able to be safe and open about it!

things like this are very much a case-by-case situation! Our only advice as of rn is:

Do what YOU think is best for YOUR safety.

-Link and 02

[fuck-customers]

🎂(8/21/23) This will be a bit long but now that I don't work at the bakery anymore I felt like sharing the list of things that customer's did that genuinely irked me amongst other feelings:

Things customers do or say at work that make me want to commit a war crime (+ my thoughts I can't say outloud):

"I want to get one of everything. 🤪" (Fun fact, 1 of everything is about $100)

"I'm shouldn't even be in here right now." (Then why are you???)

"I'm breaking my diet for this." (I don't care.)

I shouldn't be eating this I'm diabetic." (I have family that's diabetic. Please actually take care of yourself. 😐)

Does __ count for the B5G1F?" (No, it's actually only the vanilla cake squares. /s)

"Can I have one of that and one of that?" (The name. Is on the display case. SAY THE GOD DAMN NAME.)

"Are yall still open?" (You were able to open the door weren't you? You were able to step inside…weren't you??)

"Wow I got here just in time huh?"

(Yeah. You did. Now hurry the fuck up.)

after paying for the things they've already wanted "Can I actually get _ too?" (I can't really tell you no but holy shit why did you just now think of this?)

after paying for their things they proceed to look at all the merchandise and find something else "I'm gonna get this too." (Of course you are. 😐)

points at the devil's food cake, which is clearly labeled "Is this a brownie?" (Does it look??? Like a brownie??? If you move to your left about 4 feet you'll see actual brownies.)

"Can I get a devils food cake square?" "With which icing?" "…what do you mean?" "We have 3 different icing flavors for the devils food cake. Which icing?" "Oh. Chocolate. :)" (Fuckin- you can clearly see that we have 3 different icing flavors on display why is this so hard.)

"I don't get how you can work in here." (I need a paycheck and I get a good discount.

Also after a while you get bored of all the sugar.)

"I wouldn't be able to work in here. I'd eat everything. Haha" (Haha, yeah, I bet you would. 🙄)

literally anyone who comes in reeking of weed (…can you don't though? Idec that you smoke but why are you coming in when it's so strong???)

"Can I get a pint/quart of this flavor of ice cream?" (…why. I hate making pints and quarts its stupid and if the ice-cream is super frozen it's an actual pain in the ass.)

any family of 5+ that comes in all wanting ice cream (Please go away.)

"Can I get the pieces that have a lot of icing?" (Not really, cause the baker spread it pretty thin.)

*grown adult gets pouty when they realize that the cake squares I gave them had a

thinner layer of icing than the display* (Much like when you were a kid, pouting doesn't help. Do you want the cake or not?)

someone asks how good a certain item is I generally say it's pretty/really good. "Oh, its just pretty good?" (Yeah, cause I'm not a huge fan of that item. But you might like it cause, you know, different taste.)

Literally anyone who doesn't know the pick up name for a cake, or any details about the cake.

Wanting a fondant cake with a 24 hour notice and getting upset when we can't do it (fondant takes a least 2 days to dry)

People who forget which store they placed their order at. (We only have 2 locations????)

People who don't understand that we close early on Sundays.

People who leave the store reeking of weed. Like, the smell stays for like 5 minutes.

People who come in for a specific flavor that

we've never made. And get upset that we dont/wont/can't make it.

Everyone who doesn't understand that pumpkin spice and carrot cake are seasonal flavors that replace each other during the year. (And no. We can't just make you a carrot cake cake during pumpkin spice season because we physically don't have the ingredients.)

Everyone who doesn't understand the big 5 get 1 free deal.

People who try to open the door an hour before we open or an hour before we close and look visibly upset when they see me not move to let them in like we arent???? Open???

People who don't even try to open the door at our smaller store and think we're closed when we are open. (And people are often inside.)

People who try to hold a conversation for way too long

People who don't take an extra 2 minutes to look for what they want before asking me

where it is only for it to be a foot to their left.

People who dawdle at closing time.

People who leave their phone/cask/card in their car and have to run out to get it. They normally don't notice until their rung up.

People who try to break a $100 bill within the first hour of being open then get surprised when we don't have enough change to do that.

One of the worst interactions I had was in the bakery. This lady asked me if the strawberry cheesecake was good. I said "if you like strawberry it is." I guess that offended her somehow and she made it her mission to see my try a piece so I can tell her if it's good.

The problem with her plan is I'm allergic to strawberries. She was not having any of my "lies" and found anyone and everyone one and told them I am a horrible worker because I refused to "accommodate her request." She eventually ran into the only douche canoe manager we had at the time and got him to start insisting I try a bite to make her happy. I ended up just walking out on the rest of the shift and he tried to write me up. HR forced him to drop it when I threatened to sue.

-Rodney

[our-aroace-experience]

Being aroace is just so frustrating sometimes. In so many aspects.

I constantly feel fundamentally different, don't mind it one minute, and crave to feel what others do the next. Then theres friends; I see my friends getting into committed relationships and being happier, and I'm glad their happy, but they're prioritising their partners over friendships (Which I think is fine!! Maybe??? I dont really get how I should be feeling about this). I understand that people are bonded closer with their partners than friends (at least in concept, because I still cannot understand how love works), and that is totally fine and a valid reason (Again, I think??? Please correct me if I'm wrong, I'm really new to all these feelings so I don't know what my reactions should be and I don't want to be an asshole about my friends being happy), but I can't help but feel like the time I'm putting aside to hang out with friends is going unacknowledged in favor of talking with or about their partners the whole time. And if I at the very least understood the things they were feeling, maybe I could talk to them about it, but I dont, which only increases how alienated I feel from the people I'm supposed to be close to, and the rest of the world in general. I see and hear about everyone being so happy with their romantic partners, and that desire to relate to and feel what others are feeling makes me want love too, but the idea of it in practice is so uncomfortable for me and I know I could never actually want that in real life. I know platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones, and I've heard it so many times, but I just can't shake the feeling of wanting more, even though I don't actually want more in practice (I know that there are microlabels for these feelings, but I prefer to just identify as aroace). I don't want a QPR or anything like that, and I know my friends will want to build lives with their partners eventually, so I just feel so isolated and alone. Especially since I don't know, and, due to circumstances, can't even get to know other people that are aroace in real life.

I honestly just needed to get this out somewhere. I only realized I'm aroace 5ish months ago, and it's been a great experience finding a label for my feelings, but more than unpleasant dealing with the implications. If there is any advice for this I'd be glad to hear it, and thank you account moderator for running this blog, it's helped me a lot these past few months, and even with realizing I'm aroace. Keep doing what you do :)))

i’m so happy to hear this blog has helped you, that’s the reason i started it! thank you for the kind words :,)

as for feeling isolated, i get that, it’s pretty common among aspecs. you said you don’t know any aspecs in real life, and it sounds like you’re not out, so maybe finding some online communities that are aroace related could help. as for in real life, joining clubs/ groups could help. since there’s a specific topic everyone is there for, there’s less of a chance of romantic topic coming up. (i know it’s a bit of a stereotype among aspecs, but dnd is a great way to make some friends!) i hope this helps!

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi S ok you definitely dont have to answer this bc its basically just me venting and its pretty lame haha but im curious if its something you've ever dealt with or if u have advice... basically i have diagnosed ASD and marvel is my special interest and has been since i was a kid and im pretty positive its going to stay my favorite thing for the rest of my life lol. and sometimes i get so sooo sad and kinda lonely thinking about the fact that like .. i know its basically still one of the biggest fandoms out there but like all my favorite fics were posted like 5-10 years ago mostly from authors that arent even in the fandom anymore and theres never gonna be another movie with steve and bucky together that everyone gets excited about and wants to talk about and theres also just so much less of a fun goofy little tight knit community for stucky on tumblr and online like ... idk i just miss so bad when the mcu was at its peak and there was so much content to consume and so many people passionate about it... and i know theres definitely still a huge presence and like im so thankful that youre an author that i love thats still super active and im always glad to visit your page and to see that theres still so many fans out there that care and wanna interact yknow. but tumblrs different now and its been like ten years since peak stucky content and the actors are all doing their own thing now idk it just makes me sad 😩😩 i feel like such a loser saying it i swear i have other interests and an irl life that is very fruitful and lovely hahaha its just makes me a bit frustrated at my autism because i know i wont be able to ever really stop loving these characters even as others move on

Hey, sweets!

I understand what you mean and you're not a loser, not at all. It's fucking great to have an interest in something, anything--what else is life for? You gotta have something to be focused on and interested in that gives you joy, otherwise, what is there? Just blandness. And, yeah, Marvel fandom is still very much active and that's wonderful and great! But, it's also true that it will never be the same as it was in its heyday. Personally, I wasn't around when the stucky fandom was exploding along the release of CA:TWS/the general MCU height, but I certainly see all the old art, edits, cosplay, etc. that's still reblogged and I've read so many of the fics from years prior, so I have a grasp of what was happening. And I can totally see how you'd miss generally, but especially if your fixation has attached deeply to these characters.

I have a sibling on the autism spectrum (who's old enough to have been diagnosed with Aspergers's syndrome before that was phased out but they are, of course, on the spectrum regardless of arbitrary hierarchical labels that I will restrain from ranting about because I fucking hate that shit, don't talk to me about "high functioning" ugh) and they have a few different life-long hyperfixations as well. So, you're not alone, but, it is hard to think of any actual advice per se. I think you're already doing what you need to be doing, y'know? You're here and enjoying what is going on now, connecting to blogs that are active, finding space where you can talk about these characters, you've got other things to do that also capture your attention, and, of course, you know you're sad about what isn't going on anymore. It's okay to be sad. You can't control what you're passionate about in the same way you can't control who you fall in love with. Are these silly little fictional characters not just people we've fallen in love with a little or a lot, no matter if they don't "exist"? I love that for us. Humans are so cute and full of love.

Fandoms and people change and sometimes it fucking sucks when it happens, sometimes it's great. Either way, it's part of the ecosystem of life. Water and nutrients and air and sun--it makes people change, it makes them grow, and you're allowed to be sad about what they used to be, you just have to keep growing, too. Remember what they were and know who they are now.

Hopefully, something in there helped you feel better, even if it was just from telling someone how you feel.

[murcielagatito]

idk how even to start this post bc wile im using miles morales as an example his actual comic race differs and this is the fault of people just straight up not understanding how race in regard to us puerto ricans works. and its all thanks to racism colorism and the depiction and representation of latinos in media

to fully understand this and how deeply we are affected we need to go alllll the way back to the beginning

its 1490whatever and cristobal colon has just discovered the americas. and on one particular island, boriken, he discovers a tribe, the tainos <3. we brought him gold and showed him kindness. and to make a long story short he fucked us over immensely. if we didnt bring meet his gold quota it was chopped off hands. he killed us he raped us he did countless atrocities. we were given a new name: puerto rico “rich port”. most americans know what happened to the many indigenous nations on the mainland but not many are taught about us the indigenous islanders. los tainos. we spanned across el caribe: jamaica, cuba, haiti, dominican republic and puerto rico (where im from!)

but dont get it twisted we didnt just roll over and take it. the very first freedom fighter, cacique (chief) hatuey fought with many other tainos to be liberated. unfortunately, he was executed in 1512 and that was that

one year later, in 1513, what imma call ‘phase two’ began. with him this time, colón brought enslaved africans to work the fields alongside tainos. its over for us. we are miserable, malnourished, and theres no escape. and as one does when youre live and work and die together, you love together. and love we did!

everyone who lived in puerto rico loved and loved and every combination possible of taino, african, and spaniard was born. and this has continued for 500 years. a caste was created. and that caste still hurts and affects us to this day. because all it was is colorism and racism. and after seeing the horrid takes about latinos in the spiderverse fandom and beyond…. well here we are now because somebodys gotta say it

but hellbaby? why did you have to add all the history stuff?because the way miles’ family was portrayed could have been awesome representation for many afrolatinos. and they fumbled big time. its not bad representation so dont twist my words. it just could have been better

the representation of latino families in hollywood has always been a bit…. stereotypical. and not just sterotypical but homogenized and caricaturized. anyone remember george lopez (the show)? when someone thinks about latinos NOW, the household names are pedro pascal, gina rodriguez, or oscar isaac. pale people!!! and then as fame works, jenna ortega and all the other pasty latina biddies are who rise to fame and household name status. everyone recognizes them ofc

but what about gina torres, laz alonso, rosie perez, judy reyes, tatyana ali, selenis leyva, amara la negra and many more? how many of these actors can you recognize from name alone? did you know theyre all afrolatino? (and did you know theyre in extemely well known movies and tv?)

how many stories in television do you know in this day and age that have afrolatino characters whose latinidad isnt ignored? i can name one off the top of my head. monse from on my block. a show revolving latinos that was relentlessly made fun of. like i get it its a comedy and its funny and fun. but latinos may as well be synonymous with getting laughed at at this point and we are soooooo fucking tired of it

it all boils down to one simple message. the erasure of black and indigenousness from the latino community. “miles is latino because his mom is latina” “miles is black and latino” its not something you can put into two separate labels. miles is a black latino. he is afrolatino. and that means a lot of things for a lot of different people but until you can understand that black people can also just be latino we will always be stuck in this horrible era of people assuming that afrolatinos cant just literally be black hispanics…

when miles morales was first announced to be the protagonist of spiderverse so many rasict ass latinos were upset. “why does an afrolatino have to be the first representation we get of a latino spiderman?” and many other things like that were said about him. “well the reason hes latino is only because of his mom” and just like that, the knowledge of the existence of black people that have been latino for centuries has gone down the drain. a new (old) misconception was brought back to the surface and popularized. and its gutwrenching and heartbreaking and horrible. black latinos exist and miles morales is afropuertoriqueño

there are so many nuances when it comes to race and latinodad that ppl just dont bother learning more about and how racism and colorism plays into it. and it has had many negative effects to how real life afrolatinos and indijenolatinos are perceived and treated. we arent asking for the impossible we’re just asking for recognition and understanding

[arowitharrows]

hello, i had some maybe broad-but-vague stuff i wanted to ask to someone who knows more about ace stuff since i've been seeing a surge of related content about that topic lately, and i wondered if you might be someone i could ask? i know it's alot, and please ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. im not trying to be hateful or anything, i just feel sort of ignorant about it all. ace stuff, specifically. until now, i always ignored people saying they were ace before, because i didnt get it and i just figured that i didnt need to get it to just mind my own business, but it seems so much more prevalent online now than it used to be, id like to understand. i dont mean to be crude, but in my mind it's like- not fucking people is the baseline. thats just how people are. like, the template of a human isn't sexual. starting point of humanity or something like that, and everything else is just extra, though as i type that i actually can see that that might be too flawed and general of an outlook, but that's the best way i can think to phrase my thoughts. so to put focus on that baseline, as an entire identity, always seemed extraneous to me? im really not sure if theres more to it that im missing to put it in some different context. i did wonder if it was to do with just like, reacting to societal expectations that everyone, idk, be sexual? or just the assumption that everyone would (or should) end up like that at some point in their life? and that's pretty fucked up, but i always just thought that was really weird of the people expecting that sort of thing, not of the people they criticized, and that if it were just a reaction that it wouldn't be considered an identity. and the same really goes for the romance stuff, in my mind. it just seems like such a non-problem to me. and that sounds alot harsher than i mean it to be, but i dont get it. its just the regular way to be, and everything else is extra, so all of the controversy is for what? it always came off as making a big deal out of nothing to me. personally, i've never felt any sort of realistic romantic or sexual attraction to another person before in my life, but (other than here) i don't go around talking about that. if the people around me went around talking about how they DID feel that stuff, i would think they were oversharing rather inappropriately. so i don't get that the difference is. it just people searching for other people who feel how they feel using "ace" as a label, a way to do that? a community thing? then why rally around that minuscule aspect of a person's being? or maybe it doesn't feel minuscule? i dont want to come off as belittling, so if theres a better way to refer to all this, please let me know. sorry for the wall of text and like i said, feel free to ignore this. i'm not trying to be an asshole and its not on you to field this sort of question, but i just want to understand. thank you for your time!

Hey anon, It's great of you to reach out and try to learn, or unlearn, some things about asexuality and aromanticism. I'm going to try to break things down a bit (this is not in the order of what you wrote)

not fucking people is the baseline. thats just how people are. like, the template of a human isn't sexual. starting point of humanity or something like that, and everything else is just extra. [...] and the same really goes for the romance stuff, in my mind. [...] its just the regular way to be, and everything else is extra

I'm honestly not sure what you mean by this. I don't believe there is a baseline template for humanity, we are too complex for that. But even if there were a baseline I would set it to what the majority of humanity experiences and I think it's safe to say that a large majority of people experience sexual and romantic attraction to others (the number that usually gets thrown around is 1% of the human population is asexual, but I do not believe this number is still up to date.) If asexuality were the norm then the asexual community would not have this many struggles with medical doctors (here, read this great article that just came out for some context).

That being said - you can view humanity this way if you want, I'm not going to say it's wrong. Just be aware that most people do not see it this way, and that many reactions people have when first learning about asexuality and aromanticism shows how much they view it as something unnatural, abnormal and something to be fixed.

if the people around me went around talking about how they DID feel that stuff, i would think they were oversharing rather inappropriately.

Most people I know experience romantic and sexual attraction as a normal part of their life, and they talk about it a lot, which I don't necessarily consider to be oversharing. Relationships and crushes and heartbreak and sex are important topics for many people, to the point where I would claim that a considerable amount of time goes into writing songs and books and movies and other media about it. Most coming-of-age stories involve romance and sex as milestones, most "humanizing the monster" stories involve falling in love as a proof of humanity, most commercials use sex-appeal to make people buy shit. All of this is integrated into everyday life, so all of this can make aspec people feel alienated and othered, even before they find the aro/ace labels.

When I was a teenager people wouldn't stop talking about sex, it was a way to measure your worth, so I felt.. worth less than my peers. Now I'm an adult and the older I get the more being single and unmarried is seen as a personal failure.

All this is to say that in my experience sexual and romantic attraction are not quiet aspects of society. And, for the record, I don't talk about my orientation much with people outside of my close family, even when it makes things awfully awkward because my disinterests does not go unnoticed, and is very much seen as an oddity.

so to put focus on that baseline, as an entire identity, always seemed extraneous to me. [...] it just people searching for other people who feel how they feel using "ace" as a label, a way to do that? a community thing? then why rally around that minuscule aspect of a person's being?

Why do you think any identity label exists? They are there to help us understand ourselves, to help us explain ourselves to others and to help us find others with similar experiences so we can feel less isolated. We live in a heteronormative society where everyone is assumed to perform sex and romance in a very strict and narrowly defined manner. People that fall out of that norm tend to struggle on many different, complex levels. Asexual and aromantic people are not exempt from these struggles. For some being ace and aro does not have a large impact on their lives and that's fine, for others it does have a large impact - that's what the community is for, and that's what the labels are for. For me personally, being aroace impacts a lot of my life. It influences my politics, my living situation, how I approach friendships, my decisions for my future.. it is not something trivial.

i did wonder if it was to do with just like, reacting to societal expectations that everyone, idk, be sexual? or just the assumption that everyone would (or should) end up like that at some point in their life? and that's pretty fucked up, but i always just thought that was really weird of the people expecting that sort of thing, not of the people they criticized, and that if it were just a reaction that it wouldn't be considered an identity.

No, I do not believe that is the origin of the asexual and aromantic identity. It is certainly a source of aphobia and a much needed point of conversation, but asexuality and aromanticism would continue to exist in a society in which this were not a problem, the same way homosexuality will continue to exist when the world is no longer homophobic, and heterosexuality exists right now in a world that is not "heterophobic". I also want to gently add here that the belief that asexuality is a "reactionary" identity due to an oversexualized society is one I've almost exclusively seen in radical feminism circles, just something to keep in mind when following such train of thought.

Everyone is free to decide the degree to which experiencing little to no sexual/romantic attraction impacts their life and if they want to view it as something important or not. But to generalize and say that it doesn't matter on a societal scale rings false. I highly recommend just listening to more aromantic and asexual people's experiences in society to get a feeling of how it impacts our lives.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Dancer anon advice

Hi all! Someone wrote me about some advice, I'm just copy and pasting it here so I can add a 'read more' line and format it a bit differently than usual so I can keep my thoughts in order!

Italics is their writing

Bold is mine

i noticed ppl were using this blog to ask about stuff, so here goes ig?

(also im sorry this was going to be me asking about gender stuff but now its just kinda my life story 😭 if you dont want to answer this, you can just write a post saying like. dancer anon i dont feel comfortable answering this or whatever)

Ahhhh, you all need to stop apologizing! I never mind helping!

im afab, and i feel like i never really fit in with gender? like, i would always be so jealous of my feminine friends but i didnt feel good when dressing feminine myself

i also take dance classes (i started at around 6/7) and i felt like i had to wear all the skirts and shit because i wanted to be pretty like the other dancers, and i felt really terrible after a few years of that, because i hated how i looked in them and how i looked when i danced

(i also used to have a dance teacher whos hands were always cold and thats all i can remember about him but i really hated dancing with him and would get relieved when classes were over. ive hated dancing with boys/men ever since)

and it got like. really bad. i believe? (my memory is actually terrible. i cant remember anything for the life of me, so it could be my mind overexaggerating, but anyways.)

i would always ask for me and my teacher to just do stretching because i hated how i looked when i danced because i hated the skirts and everything because i hate my legs and how they look when bare. i hated attending dance classes because people would see me and see my legs and see how i looked and i felt terrible all the time (i think i was around 9 or 10 at this age?)

so one day i had a whole crying fit and my dance teacher told me that i dont have to wear skirts or whatever, i can wear pants and shit (i was so fucking relieved. istg. i now wear skirts to dance only like. couple times a year maybe)

and then soon enough covid happened! (also keep in mind that i grew up like. really sheltered. i did not know what gay people/transgender people were until i read fanfiction about warrior cats 😭)

and i was so delighted! because on distance learning, no one would see me and be able to judge me for how i dress or whatever

at around this time, my fear of everyone masculine really grew. its still there. im fucking terrified of all men. i cant help it. like every boy man masculine person. i get so scared. i hate it. i hate it so much

but then covid came to a halt, yk, school started again .-. i felt like shit, honestly. i didnt have ANY clothes i felt comfortable in. my hair felt too long and "feminine" and i wanted to cut it for the longest time. my clothes made me feel terrible. i hated how the leggings would wear on my legs and how my sweaters would show my body shape and how my butt looked (i still really hate how it looks. why is it big. i dont want it to be i hate it so much)

yeah so there i am, feeling dysphoric as shit (i did not know what that was, back then, by the way, but i believe thats what i was feeling)

didnt help that my only friend was a toxic, lying, manipulating bitch who led people on for fun and always expected everyone to worship at her feet

after a while, i discovered different labels! (bisexual was the first label i had for myself. i felt good with it, ig?)

and then i got to the gender situation. i used so many girl alligned terms because i was so scared of being percieved as the very thing i am terrified of (masculine ppl). i went through demigirl, girlflux, genderfae, genderfluid, i beleive, maybe somethign else too, because i wanted to stay connected to being a girl.

Okay so here, I want to ask, what's the reason to wanting to say connected with being a girl? Is it feeling like you are partially a girl? Not wanting to be connected to masculinity? Not wanting to let go of the 'girlhood' that you grew up with? None of these reasons are bad but I think thinking about this more might help you figure out your gender.

around this time i started doing leader steps for dance. the euphoria i felt. please.

ahhhhh wait! I do ballroom, too! I'm a follower, though. what's your favorite? I LOVE tango. Okay, sorry, I got distracted.

found out i was a lesbian, used nonbinary but with she/they pronouns and felt like shit whenever anyone called me she but didnt want to make a big deal about using they

ooo, okay here- asking for your correct pronouns isn't 'making a big deal.' it's asking for what you need and asking for respect.

found out i was aroace because "people actually find video game characters attractive?" 😭

thought i might feel better as a boy? cut my hair. i loved it so much (i still do) (that was may of last year) got baggy clothes. covered up my figure. did leader steps for dance.

over the summer i started using labels such as agender? which i feel like fits me?

anyway, thats the life story part, now for the part about what the fuck am i

i feel like shit whenever im called a girl or refered to with feminine terms. im not sure if it would classify as dysphoria or not, becuase i dont feel /that/ bad about it, but it still ruins my mood and kinda makes me want to cry.

okay so here's the thing. not 'feeling THAT bad' doesn't mean anything. Dysphoria is dysphoria. and this is dysphoria. Just because you're not throwing up in a corner doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid.

if my grandma calles me granddaughter, girl, whatever in russian, it automatically ruins my mood. makes me feel terrible. i hate it.

i dont feel as bad when my sister calls me her sister, though, for some reason.

Okay! So for me, I hate being called a lady, but I don't mind my wife calling me her wife. Again, this is all completely valid <3

when i get called by she/her i hate it so much. i dont want to make a big deal about asking for they/them - sometimes my friends remeber, sometimes they dont.

ive never tried he pronouns, dont think i want to.

they/them pronouns dont give me that much euphoria either, its just like. ok

Okay! Have you tried neopronouns? If you're not interesting in those, it could just be that they/them is what feels best. And that's okay, too!

another thing. my friend has another nonbinary friend. she always genders them correctly, but almost never me. it makes me feel like shit, like she cares more about getting their pronouns than mine, even though i know that thats not a good mindset and shit.

*loud buzzer sound* wrong. Your friend should be gendering everyone correctly, not just some people. Good friends care about making their friends feel comfortable, and this friend is making you uncomfortable. Would you feel comfortable talking to them about it?

also, heres some more on my fear of men because who doesnt love being scared out of their wits irrationally :D

my dance teacher had to leave to go back to where she lives, so they gave me a male teacher (i tend to only have female ones.)

i would be in tears every lesson. i felt like shit. (also i hate the sound of peoples voices and he would always be talking and i hate it so much because his voice, amongst others, is one of the ones that hurts my ears the most.) i even went to my mom to ask her for a change which helped ig? my new teacher is really nice and i love her so,,, yeah

Okay, I want to stop here to say- a lot of this has to do with gender, right? But this particular response seems to be rooted in trauma. Without prying too much, I am wondering if there is something that happened with a man or masculine-presenting person or people? You do NOT have to share with me, but this might be something to explore with a trusted person in your life. I mean, there is a chance it's gender-related, but in the most loving way, there seems to be something deeper going on here.

anyway, you dont have to answer this, i was going to just ask for help with labels and feeling like theres no correct label for me (i use agender now, for simplicity, because i dont feel connected to having a gender at all)

So I guess my question is, how do you feel about the agender label? When I looked up the definition, it seems to be defined as exactly what you described- someone not having a gender at all.

Also, remember that your gender identity and expression are two different things! You can identify as agender (or any of the other things you mentioned) and still choose to dress however feels most comfortable and use whatever pronouns feel most comfortable. There are no set rules except: do what feels most genuine and comfortable!

if you do want to answer this but dont want to use this large of an ask on your blog, just call me dancer anon, i will see and understand 👍

again, sorry for dumping all of this on you

ahhhhhhh don't be sorry, you are a wonderful human!

have a wonderful day

you, too! please message me if you want to talk more! <3

[blonde-tori-spring555]

sexuality advice

something that helped me was trying not to define my attraction. at first, what that looked like it just saying, “okay. im bi.” as if i had always been bi. then i started looking at my attraction as if i had always been bi. if i had always been bi, would i have said i had a crush on this girl? if bring bi was the norm, would i think i were attracted to her?

later down the road, it was saying i was unlabelled. it took me a while to get there because i spent so much time thinking about my sexuality, but when i did it was extremely freeing. i could just say that i liked everyone in a different way and not worry about gender.

so i guess what im saying here, is try out the aueer labels. maybe not to your friends, maybe just to yourself, but try them out and see if they make sense. after all, youve been trying out straight for a long time.

also, stupid thing but something that helped me A LOT: make a self insert character. what is your immediate impulse to give them for sexuality?

you can say youre straight and like women. you can say youre bi and mainly be attracted to men. you can say youre queer and not put a label on it. you could look for microlabels that fit. but realistically, its up to you to decide what you want to call it.

and, just for the record? straight people usually don’t question that much. not saying you are bi, but your feelings are valid.

sorry if this was too much but this is what helped me, i dont know if it will help you personally

if you want to talk more about it though im always here <333

tysm x

the bs thing is i was kinda hinting to my mum like we were talking about heartstopper (she knows i like the show and books and STRAIGHT PEOPLE CAN LIKE IT, thats what heartstopper is about, being inclusive) anyway my mum isnt homophobic she just doesnt rlly get it anyway she says like "people cant know what they rlly r until theyre like 18+" so i ranted to her about how anyone could change at anytime and my lil hint was "im straight now but in a few years time i might realise im bi" and that shut her up

but i might give this a go, it just scared me idk why, like its not like i look at girls a go, ooo i would date her, but i look at boys like, oo i would date him, so i think if lets say i am bi, i would def be more attracted to men, but like sometime my stupid little brain says 'ur just saying it because its 'easier" or 'u dont mean it, ur just saying it for attention' like i just hate it, like ive not rlly had a 'awakening' but like sometimes bi sounds right while other times straight does

but i might do what u say and try our 'being bi' for a bit and see how i feel

it sounds weird but i feel like i need to have this awakening and like i need to see a girl and think ooo i have a crush, like i do with boys

idk its weird

and ik what u mean by straight people dont question it that much, and ik what ur saying because that fact scares me to mf shits, but tbh i only think about it when that area of things r brought into my head yk?

anyway sorry for ranting

[cloudd-nyne]

(I swear i saw a tumblr post with a similar sentiment, but cant for the life of me find it, so hey op of that post if you see this, i feel you.)

I am. So tired of being called "Strong".

Please don't get me wrong; this isn't a callout or meant to put down anyone whos ever said this. I know it's almost always meant to uplift and empower someone when they're down, and for so many it does!

But im tired of it. Im tired of my supposed strength being a defining feature of me. Im tired of being told im so strong, and I must keep fighting.

There are so many times i feel like that strength is just a reason for no one to truly care, or try.

"Strength" is so so often something that I used by others, and never benefits the one who has it.

And maybe thats selfish of me to say, but I've hit a point where I just. I don't want it. I don't want to be strong anymore.

I crave what it feels like to truly be weak, and be cared for like I am.

Needing help, needing to be protected, unable to fight for yourself. Those are all things I've fought to defend. Everyone is weak sometimes. Expect i guess for the labeled "strong" people.

That label feels a bit like a curse. Strong means you dont get help. You don't get protection. You have to do it all by yourself. Because you're strong. Do it for them, because you're so strong. Do it for yourself because you're strong.

And maybe I'm selfish, but I can't help but wonder how much happier my life would be if i wasn't always trying to be strong for someone. If, for just a little bit, i was allowed to be weak.

Like yeah. Ill be strong. Not because I want to be, but because someone has to.

And I don't think i like it very much.