#i dont think little me would be able to recognize anything past the bare bones of the world

[idreamofneonsheep]

Trying out some new styles for a project [that I'll hopefully stick with] and vibed with this one so

Could be better but the vibes r there methinks

[peanut-in-the-goal]

Remus is in the dorm screaming and pulling on his own hair while he cries.

“I trusted you! I fucking trusted you!! And what I hate the most is that I still love you, you asshole!” 

After the prank, and James and Peter are forced to listen to their friends’ brother’s cries at night because he cant sleep peacefully without the comforting presence of Sirius by his side. And they have to do everything they can to keep him from accidently hurting himself from fury and rage.

they dont think he’s going to make it to the next moon. A blue moon, because the fates are against him and there were 2 that month

--

Sirius hasn’t been seen much since the prank. He doesn’t come by the tower much anymore, when he does it’s for a change of clothes. No one ever sees him. One day his trunk disappears from the end of his bed.

It was getting too hard to go back every so often and hear his friends laughter as he waited outside the door for them to go to sleep.

--

James is worried. He forgave Sirius ages ago, even when he knows he shouldn’t have. But the guilt is destroying Sirius, he can see it. But he cant do anything about it. He had to pick a side and he picked Remus.

As much as he loves the werewolf as his brother, he hates to admit that he cares more for sirius. So now he’s stuck with deciding if he should stab someone in the back to save another.

He knows why Sirius did it, and his reasoning. It was reckless and stupid and cruel, but now it made sense as to why. 

--

Sirius has been staring at the wall for the past hour. He thinks it’s been an hour, time doesn’t feel very real. There’s nothing to fill it, no friends, no laughter, no people.

He’s finished his homework by now, he’s had it done hours ago. Now he just stares at the wall as the clock keeps ticking on.

The only coherent thought that circulates in his head if I fucked up. He hates me and it’s my fault.

It’s not the first night that Sirius falls asleep with tear tracks on his face. It doesn’t matter, no one knows where to find him anyways.

--

They can’t find him, Sirius.

Remus has been looking. He knows he shouldn’t he knows he should hate shim. But he can’t. Not when he’s in love with the idiot. James has started to help too, both of them scanning every room that they enter.

But they can’t find that mop of black hair anywhere. He’s not in the dorm, the dining hall, or any classes. They’ve check the astronomy tower a thousand times over but he’s just gone.

The map has disappeared a long with him. Sirius obviously doesn’t want to be found.

--

The stars seem dimmer. They have been for a while now. James sits in the quidditch stands. It’s long after curfew, but sometimes he has to escape too.

it’s hard acting like everything is okay all the time for his friends when he’s crumbling inside. He hasn’t seen his best friend in weeks, going onto a month. They’ve never gone this long without talking, much less seeing each other. 

He just wants to make sure he’s okay, and not off dead in a ditch somewhere. He knows Sirius can dig himself into a ditch when he wants. He blames himself for everything, or blows things out of proportion.

A lot.

He’s worries, so beyond worried at this point. He isn’t sure if that worry lessens or increases when he sees a thing dog gallop across the quidditch pitch in the dark.

--

Sirius doesn’t sleep much at night anymore. He doesn’t sleep much in general, not unless he can’t help it. Unless he’s exhausted and will collapse if he doesn’t sleep now. 

Sometimes at night he turns into Padfoot and just runs. He’s always hoped since he was young that if he could run fast enough, that he’d be able to leave, and escape.

But he’s never had the heart to. Not since he’s met the rest of the Marauders. They were the first people he saw as family. Real family, people who loved him and wanted to be around him.

But he fucked that up. He lost them, and they never wanted to see him again.

He had to accept it.

Sirius grew up around people who didn’t want him. He thought his family were just ignorant prats, but it turns out that maybe, it was his fault. He really is an unlovable mutt.

--

James shot up onto his feet. But the dog was already lost into the forest. At least James knew he was alive, but it wasn’t enough. Something didn’t see right, the dog was too skinny. His ribcage didn’t use to stick out that much...

--

Remus paced his dorm. He had to find Sirius. He had to find him, he had to find him, he had to find him.

James told him about what he saw that night, about the skinny, sickly looking dog. He wouldn’t let Sirius ruin himself because of him. He loved him more than he wanted to admit.

He would find him.

--

Sirius collapsed just on the edge of the forbidden forest, by Hagrid's hut. He was chased by the centaurs, again. It gave him a a thrill that he couldn’t get anymore. Made him feel alive.

Although it always left him dead tired. Sometimes it was good, it means he was able to get to sleep that night. But dawn was breaking at and the sun was rising over the trees. It wouldn’t be long before someone found him.

He barely registers the fact the he turned back to human form as his eyes drift shut.

--

Hagrid finds him that morning. This boy who is usually larger than life, with a smile that is blinding, was reduced to skin and bones, with matted hair in just a few weeks.

He lifts the all too light boy and makes his way to the Hospital Wing.

--

Sirius wakes up to white walls and bright lights.

It smells an awful lot like antiseptic and potions. He hates it because he can recognize where he is immediately. 

He’s grateful that none of his friends—no, not friends. Classmates— aren’t there. He doesn’t expect them to be, although it still kind of hurts seeing as they don’t care.

--

The others weren’t told that Sirius was in the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomphrey didn’t think they’d want to know, nor would they care. She sees the way Sirius has changed. How skinny and underweight he is.

No doubt they’re the cause for this change. They’re the ones that shunned and exiled him.

Although their responses weren’t uncalled for. She herself was reluctant to treat the boy at first, knowing how he hurt Remus.

But this was far more serious then she had originally thought.

--

The only reason that James found out where Sirius was there was because he had to help bring a quidditch teammate. Their keeper blocked a shot wrong and sprained his wrist. There was an upcoming match against Slytherin this weekend, so he wasn’t taking any risks.

He saw Sirius laying unconscious in the hospital bed. Well he thought he was unconscious.

--

Sirius woke to James’ voice. He hasn’t heard that voice in so long. He misses him.

His eyes stayed shut, he wonders if he had opened them would James have stayed?

He heard James’ look curse, before heavy footsteps and the door to the Hospital Wing slamming shut. He can’t help but be disappointed that even just his appearance is enough to make someone flee.

--

Remus is seething by the time he gets down all the stair cases and reaches the hospital wing. James had rushed up to tell him that Sirius was there and he was breathing.

He wasn’t in the best of shape but he would be okay. They could help him and make him okay, even just a little bit to make him feel better.

The door to the Hospital Wing swung open as Remus and James storm in.

--

Sirius startles from where he’s trying to fall back asleep. He wasn’t being very successful anyways. 

He sits up quickly, looking towards the source of the sound. His head is pounding slightly and his vision dances before his eyes before blacking out for a moment from sitting up too fast. 

When it clears, he can finally see. And what he sees terrifies him.

Both James and Remus are storming towards him, a matching unreadable expression covering their faces.

Sirius wanted nothing more than to shrink up and melt into the Hospital bed.

--

“The hell were you thinking Black??” James’ voice was loud, he only ever yelled when he was joking or really fucking pissed. Sirius didn’t think it was the former with his luck.

He flinched away from the voice,

This was the first time he’s been addressed in a long time. The first time someone was actually trying to communicate with him in something other than glares in weeks.

But you deserve this. They hate you. They should hate you, you fucked up. You shouldn’t be here, lying in this bed. You don’t deserve it.

He tried to get the voice in his head to shut up, but it wouldn’t. It was right anyways.

--

Remus looked at his best friend. Someone he used to call his boyfriend. He wished he still did.

Sirius looked tiny in that bed. Like a spooked animal with wide eyes, frantically looking around for an escape. He merely shrugged at James’ question, eyes dropping down at his hands as to not have to look at them.

Remus’ heart broke.

I did this. He thought. I love him so much and yet this is my fault. I reduced him to-to this!

--

James didn’t know who he was more mad at. Sirius or himself.

Then again, Sirius only did what they asked. They told him to stay away, to stop talking because they didn’t want to hear it. 

Sirius really couldn’t be blamed for running.

--

They spent the rest of the day in the Hospital Wing. Making sure Sirius stayed and ate, and maybe one day he be okay.

Sirius couldn’t believe it when they said he was welcomed back. That they didn’t hate him. He cried.

He got his friends back that day, he had his family again.

Madam Pomphrey was relieved to see the gang back together again. Although she might be seeing Mr. Snape a lot more...

[cryingbilldenbrough]

hi i want to request some ryers from you. idc what it is, i just want to read something about that beautiful ship written by you. literally. you can write about anything you want. please and thank you. (i deserve this for the number of times you’ve made me cry thanks)

ok so just remember that u asked for this

i feel like a lot of ryers stuff has the idea that richie moves to hawkins so let’s switch that

will byers moves across the country to derry, maine and the fresh start isn’t quite what he thought it would be

johnathan isn’t with them, having graduated high school and gone off to college 

joyce rents a two bedroom house and there’s no Johnathan’s Room anymore, no place for will to go and lay on the floor and turn on the boombox and let The Shins drown out the biting wind in his ears

it’s two stories, with stairs that creak under his feet and the basement isn’t like theirs was back home, solely for storm shelter. there’s shelves all along the walls for canning and storage and will spends a whole day down there exploring

anyway he rolls up to derry high school on the first day of sophomore year, his mom sitting in their idling car near the buses, and shoulders his backpack

he keeps his head up

because this is the first time he’s been able to restart and no one in derry knows, man. he’s got the chance to reinvent himself which is every teenagers dream!! 

he slides into his first period homeroom class and there’s a kid in the back who looks as apprehensive as will feels and the boy introduces himself as ben hanscom after class, offering to show will around

“ive been the new kid before” he says, warm and with a smile and will gets a big lump in his throat because he misses dustin SO BAD

ben hanscom invites him to sit with his friends at lunch and will stands through the lunchline for what feels like forever, anxiety swimming in his stomach

but the Party (not a party, will, they’re not the same try not to think of that) is so welcoming and kind? 

eddie kaspbrak is a small boy who pauses mid-rant about the disgusting boys bathroom on the third floor to offer his hand out for will to shake

beverly marsh has max’s firey hair and el’s powerful nature and she winks at will and says something about his haircut and will blushes and ducks his head because while he’s not really interested in women, beverly marsh is everyone’s weak spot/exception

stan uris is quiet and will almost glosses right over him until stan says something wry out of the corner out of his mouth, stopping the entire group in their laughing and joking and they’re deathly still until stan’s facade cracks and he grins at them, all dimples

will notices the air of tension during the pause wasn’t apprehension, more like the group was simply Waiting for stan to give in and accept that he’s told a joke

mike hanlon is quiet with an air of serious consideration, like he’s cataloging everything they do and say to save for later

he looks a little haunted, a little fucked up, and will thinks he recognizes the dead look in the boy’s eyes

mike reminds will of sheriff hopper, kind and haunted and sad

bill denbrough is will’s favorite right away. his eyes are alight and he smiles out of the side of his mouth, guarded, and he makes will feel kind of like the only person in the world when he talks to him

he compliments will’s notebook which is covered in little doodles and will has a weird moment when he’s like Wow i would do anything for bill denbrough? whom i have just met?

basically bill denbrough has +20 charisma and will saves that thought in his back pocket to revisit later

and finally

there’s richie

richie laughs while eating and sprays milk all over the table and has coke bottle glasses and a dumb goofy grin 

he ruffles will’s hair when bev compliments it, sticking his hand across the table and rubbing down just a little too hard

will slaps his hand away, so used to johnathan doing it, and richie laughs and laughs

stan explains richie to him while the other boy is turning his attention to eddie kaspbrak who swears at him, saying “whenever richie needs to shut up, we just say beep beep richie and that does the trick”

will doesn’t get the chance to try out the trick until lunch is almost over, warning bell ringing and everyone scrambling to wrap up the rest of their lunches for later or to throw away

and as will stands up, a book falls out of his backpack

it’s a Dungeons and Dragons guide, the one mike used to map out their campaign  

(”take this with you,” mike says, thrusting the book into will’s hands. they’re standing in the bare byers living room, hands stuffed in pockets and surrounded by cardboard boxes. 

“no, you need it,” will argues “you gotta finish the campaign” and man this hurts really fucking bad

“i bought a new one,” mike says quickly, making will take the book and wrap his fingers around it “besides, we all signed this one”

will opens the front cover and there’s writing all along the inside, little notes and drawings from the Party to him

will holds it to his chest and then brings mike into a hug, the last one before he leaves hawkins for probably forever)

“what’s this?” richie says, holding it out and will tries to snatch it back but richie’s fast “this is some next level nerd shit” he says 

and will knows he’s kidding but years of being called freak dont do well for self esteem and will is blinking back tears before he can stop himself 

“beep beep richie” he says in a choked voice and nobody else but them is paying attention which will is thankful for because crying in front of his new friends is NOT COOL

and as soon as he says it, richie’s fingers go lax. he gives the book back without a second more of fight and will blinks and tries to calm down and richie’s just looking at him

“it’s from my friends” will explains and richie nods, little and thoughtful. there’s a beat, a moment of peace and silence, and then richie’s throwing his arm over will’s shoulders

“welcome to the losers club,” he says, warm and understanding

and will byers has a new party, a club full of laughter and love and a power he doesn’t yet understand

for the first time in a long time, will belongs again

but this is derry and in derry the dead don’t stay dead and that includes dead pasts

will opens his locker one day and a balloon floats out

it’s red, almost transparent from how overblown it is, and it drifts at exactly his height out into the hallway

will reaches a hand out, to touch and figure out who the fuck put that in his locker and what the fuck it is

and the balloon spins

ZOMBIE BOY it says in happy white letters

and will blinks and he’s in the Upside Down

it’s not real it cant be real but the cold is biting and the wind is chilling him to the bone and derry is covered in vines but it’s different this time? theres a smell of decay in the air that hawkins didnt have, the scent of actual real death and it smells like brick and concrete and a sewer and the bodies of hundreds of dead kids

will’s hyperventilating, crying and stuck frozen and the balloon is still there and it drifts towards him and it’s getting closer and the demogorgon isnt there but there’s something else, a presence of evil he can FEEL and it sounds like dripping water and fingernails on steel and breaking bones and wheezing breath

there’s lights in the distance, three of them swirling together in a drifting dance

just when will thinks it’s real, just when he’s giving into the swirling lights and blowing wind and the shiny red balloon

the balloon pops

the sound is a gunshot, shocking him out of the trance and will blinks and he’s back

he’s in the hallway and the balloon is gone and the Upside Down is gone and richie tozier is there

he’s got his hand outstretched towards will and he’s saying something that will cant hear over the rushing wind in his ears

“are you okay?” he thinks he sees richie mouth and he forces himself to nod

later, after he’s explained it all, richie tells will he found him staring at the wall, catatonic and crying

will wants to be embarrassed but he’s only grateful for richie for bringing him back

“it was a balloon?” richie says, voice hushed. they’re in the boys bathroom, crowded together in the furthest stall while they skip class

richie had stuck his sneakered foot on the toilet and hoisted himself up to open the window

he pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and offers one to will, which he declines, before lighting up and taking a drag

“yeah” will responds

“fuck” he breathes out, smoke leaving his lungs and it smells strong enough that it erases the scent of this new Upside Down from will’s nostrils, replacing it with menthol and richie

“did you see…. a clown….” richie says and will wants to laugh but he looks serious

not just serious

richie looks downright scared

he’s shaking a little, the cherry of his smoke bobbing in the air and will knows that kind of fear, the primal urge to fight or flight and richie looks kind of tired and weary too

“no” will says and richie sighs, relieved

he doesnt want to tell richie he saw the past and the future at the same time, an alternate and adjacent universe far beyond anything either of them could comprehend

richie takes another drag off his cigarette and sets his jaw and will thinks he’s making a decision

“meet us at the clubhouse after school” he throws the cig out the open window and leaves will, the bell ringing in the distance

when will shows up in the barrens, backpack over his shoulders, they’re waiting for him

the clubhouse is hidden and will has been to it a few times and still sometimes has trouble picking it out, camoflauged with brush and leaves

he drops down into the ground and the whole Club is there 

he draws his knees up to his chest as richie tells them all of how he found will, explaining the dead look in his eyes 

(”they almost looked…. grey” he says and all the blood drains out of bill’s face in the light of a few candles)

richie hands it over to will to explain what he saw and will struggles through his explanation, trying not to let onto the fact that he’s some freak with Now Memories and a haunted fucked up past

but the Club doesn’t look… surprised? scared?

they look frightened and tired and weary and sympathetic

stan uris has his knees drawn to his chest and is running his fingers over the sides of his face, over faint scars will never noticed before

“sounds like…” eddie trails off

“i k-know what it s-s-sounds like,” bill says 

“sounds like what?” will asks and hes kind of pissed off because they all look shifty

they’re hiding something, some secret related to balloons and death and fucking clowns and will byers is so FUCKING SICK of being out of the loop

of being left out of the plans because he’s weak and people are afraid of him getting hurt

“sounds like what?” he repeats and the group collectively flinches

“look, we don’t know exactly” ben starts

“it’s hard to pinpoint exact memories,” bev finishes for him and they share a look “we can’t keep track of all of it,” 

“they c-c-come and go” bill says and eddie nods and richie looks sick and angry

“what happened here?” will asks, voice low

the group look at each other, the lucky seven sharing their cosmic energy and deciding to pull another into their chess game with death

they make a decision, an election, to tell the story, the history of their haunted town and the fog that covers it, the story of a manifestation of Evil and their ever-tiring fight against It

will feels richie’s hand slip into his, sweaty and shaking but grounding

he turns to look at richie and the boy is smiling at him, soft and guarded and will thinks he’s very lucky to have met this group, haunted pasts be damned

“derry,” mike hanlon starts, licking his lips, “is not like other towns”

send me headcanons/prompts/requests!

[logan-are-you-okay]

Anti’s Backstory part 5

Nurse: “Sir, I need you to calm down so we can check what’s wrong.”

Jack: “No! I want my Dr!”

Nurse: “Then who’s your doctor then?”

Jack: “You just kicked him out of here when I asked! I don’t trust any of you fuckers!”

Jack then starts pulling on his brown hair. The pain was so intense that he keepings trying to hurt himself in other places so he can focus on something less mild.

Nurse: “Sir. You need to take a deep breath so we can put in your IV.”

Jack: “Fuck you!”

He doesn’t mean to be rude, that isn’t the kind of person that he is. But when he is basically feels like he’s getting his leg pulled off, that can cause a little manners to change.

Somehow the nurse... with ten other nurses are able to get Jack’s IV into his arm where the release a drug to help him with the pain so it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Once he’s finally able to calm down he looks at the nurse how was talking to him.

Jack: “Sorry... I didn’t mean to swear.”

He the proceeds to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment.

Nurse: “It happens all the time. The Dr will come in soon to see what is the problem.

Jack: “Thank you.”

Even though his leg still hurt like hell, he did want to calm down. Acting like that wasn’t something That he liked to do. Even if it was just from the pain.

***

Schneeplstein keeps pacing around in the waiting room. Jacks only been back there for a couple hours, but it feels like an eternity. It was absolute torture to not know what was going on. Why would they just leave him to think of all the bad possibilities that could be happening? Randomly a nurse from the front desk walks over to Schneeplstein.

Nurse: “You’ve been here for quite awhile. Do you want anything to drink or eat?”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Not really. I just want to know what’s going on so my heart can stop having heart palpitations.”

Nurse raises her eyebrow. She didn’t know if he was joking or not, but that was really weird to just randomly say.

Nurse: “Heart Palpitation?”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Skipping heart beats. I basically said it because my hearts going time million miles an hour, so it feels like it’s skipping beats.”

Nurse: “Oh, Okay. Is there anyone you need me to check on to see if they’re in stable condition?”

Schneeplstein’s eyes light up. If she could do that, why the hell wouldn’t they just come out and say that he’s fine. God, this hospital needs better protocols.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Sean McLoughlin.” (I DONT KNOW HOW TO SPELL JACKS LAST NAME)

The nurse goes back to the front desk and types in Jack’s name. Surprisingly, he’s been able to see visitors for the past hour.

Nurse: “He’s stable, you can go back and see him. Room 24-A.”

Without a second thought Schneeplstein runs through the automatic doors to the room the nurse said. He didn’t even say thank you, he was to worried about Jack.

***

Once he gets inside the room, he sees a nurse changing out the IV fluid while Jack was asleep. At least he was able to calm down. Schneeplstein then goes over and sits down in a chair next to Jack’s medical bed. The new nurse notices that he just came in and recognize him almost instantly.

Nurse: “You said you where in the middle of getting your License right?”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Uh... yeah, Something on those lines, sure.”

Nurse: “Well his broken leg was worse than we thought. There’s a certain medical term that you wouldn’t have learned yet. When the leg broke it ruptured a vein and the blood started to clot and run up to his chest. That was the stinging pain that he felt that went to his spine. Also the bone wasn’t fix back into its original place when it was attempted to reset it. Which confused his brain and heart which sent blood to his lungs.”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “What the fuck!? How on earth does that happen. He was fine until he tried walking around!”

Nurse: “It takes a while for the syptomes to accrue.”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Is that why he’s wearing a breathing Mask?”

The nurse nods and then leaves after finishing changing Jack’s IV fluid. Schneeplstein then looks over Jack who looks like he’s having a nightmare. To bad they can’t help with that part. He sighs to himself, and decides to grab his phone and take a picture of Jack. Knowing that he had blood in his lungs, means that he’s going to be stuck here for quite awhile. Schneeplstein then uploads the photo to Jack’s twitter and tells them briefly of what happen acting as if he was Jack, and that a friend took the picture while he slept.

Almost instantly people start freaking out and wishing that he’ll get better. That’s one thing Schneeplstein loved about Jack’s community that he created. All the love and support, them never thinking he was just doing it for popularity. Schneep then looks over at the clock hanging on the wall.

7:48 AM.

Wow, time passed a lot faster than he has expected. Since Jack’s asleep there’s no point in him being awake. So he props himself against the chairs and falls asleep.

***

Jack jumps awake from the nightmare he was having. It felt so real, and it didn’t help that the breathing mask felt like it was suffocating him. He makes an attempt to take it off, but Schneeplstein stops him from doing so.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Don’t take it off Jack! You need it to help you breathe!”

Jack: “I can breathe just fine Schneep, I don’t need this to help me.”

Schneeplstein then makes a very stern look at Jack, which prompts him to keep the mask on.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “I know you made a video about your broken leg, but I posted a picture on twitter saying it. You scared the living daylights out of me you know.”

Jack: “I didn’t CHOOSE to break my leg you know.”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Whatever, but lots of people are wishing you to get better.”

Jack starts smiling. He hasn’t ever been really Hurt while doing YouTube, so having people send ‘get well’ stuff was amazing. Even all of Twitter was filled with getting better fanwork. It was amazing.

Suddenly a Doctor walks in... they think? He wasn’t wearing the usual uniform that the other doctors were wearing. He had on a long polo shirt, with scruffy gray hair. He then walks over to Jack and takes of the air mask. Instantly earning him an angry Schneeplstein to stand up.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Hey!”

The Doctor?: “He doesn’t need it anymore, he’s able to breathe fine now.”

Schneeplstein quickly looks over at Jack to make sure he can breathe alright, which thankfully he can. He then looks over at the so called doctor. Schneep May not be licensed, but he knows that, that would not be acceptable.

The possible doctor then sits on the bed next to Jack, which instantly raised some concerns. Doctors where NOT suppose to do that. Jack has a pretty good bullshit detector, and this man was setting it off like wild fire. But he still wanted to be nice.

Jack: “So... what brings you in Doctor?”

Defiantly a doctor that doesn’t look suspicious at ALL: “I just wanted to warn you, not to be as crazy next time you decided to make woopy.”

What the fuck!? Who the hell was this man to assume such a thing, he probably doesn’t know a thing about what happened so he just assumed!? This made Dr. Schneeplstein’s blood boil!

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Excuse me!? How dare you come in here and assume such a thing! We where not having sex Mr. He’s basically my brother and we’re not gay!”

Jack gets startled in surprise. He has never in his life seen Schneeplstein so mad at someone, he was the most down to earth person out of any of them.

Jack: “Woah, Schneep calm down a little bit.”

Not going to lie, Jack didn’t like how the so called doctor assumed. Maybe it’s because Schneep didn’t have a shirt on, or maybe because they where both guys. It doesn’t matter, but Jack still didn’t like the looks of this doctor.

The doctor: “It’s just common sense to me. But, we would like to give you something for the pain you might be experiencing.”

The doctor turns around to pull something out of his pocket.

Jack: “But.... I’m really not feeling any pain right now?”

The doctor then turns back around carrying a injecting kneedle filled with... a glowing green liquid!

Jack: “Oh hell no! Keep that away from me!”

Jack practically throws himself off of the bed away from the doctor. Pulling out his IV from his arm and the heart monitor which made it sound like he flatlined.

Thankfully Schneeplstein caught Jack in his fit of escape so he didn’t hurt his leg anymore. Even though he barley caught his arms. Even though it sent a sting down Jack’s entire body when hisbleg barely hit the floor.

The doctor: “What? It’s just going to help with the pain.”

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Jack what on earth are you doing!?”

Jack might have had very little sleep last night, but he was still able to put two-two together. Even though it was decades ago, this man looked very Similar to what Anti described in his journal. The gray shaggy hair and age range! Also the glowing green liquid isn’t something just to randomly had. Even jack matched the serial kidnappers victims al except the age range. Maybe it was his son who wanted to replicate his father’s legacy?

Jack: “I don’t want to be anywhere near this psycho!”

Even though Schneeplstein didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t want to be anywhere near this dude either.

The doctor rolls his eyes and leaves the room. However as he leaves, he drops a bar code out of his pocket and doesn’t even notice. But, Jack did. Schneeplstein sets Jack back into the medical bed and reattaches everything to where it’s suppose to be and grabs the bar code off the ground. He then inspects it, but he notices Jack becoming relatively antsy as he does.

Dr. Schneeplstein: “Why are you so excited?”

Jack: “Can I see that real quick?”

Schneeplstein shrugs his shoulders and hands it over to Jack who quickly takes a picture of the bar code and it takes him to some weird website. Schneeplstein looks over Jack’s shoulder and gasps at what the first thing that pops up.

Jack: “What the fuck?”

The first that that appears is a picture of Jack from when he dyed his hair back to its original brown color. The whole website was in a green and black, and there was descriptions of him all over. ‘Age, 27. Hair, Brown. Eye Color, Blue.’ There was very personal stuff on him that he didn’t expect to notice. However one thing stood out to him the most. ‘Resembles subject 748-YB. The one subject who was succefulky able to perform all tests on, yet to far of an extreme to which he died and couldn’t reconnect. Tests have yet to be conducted.’

Normally this would be weird on its own, but after reading Anti’s journal, it’s pretty obvious that subject 748-YB was Anti.

(Doesn’t really have much of Anti, but I’m setting up for something)

[tossing-cookies]

Eyy bby doll, Ilysm ♡ You should totally do a Len/Rin Leukemia bit for me c:

Slipping Len’s pillow into a clean pillowcase, Rin frowned. This was the fifth nosebleed in the span of two months, and it worried her; she never remembered her brother having problems with bloody noses before. On top of that, today marked the second week of a terrible fever Len had come down with. They had gone to the doctor twice because the fever reached 102° and was not breaking. Both times the doctor concluded Len most likely had mono and, given how long he was already ill, would start improving within a few days. That, unfortunately, did not happen.

To the contrary, Rin believed Len was growing worse. Since the visit to the physician, he had developed a rash over his legs, and although he told her that it did not itch nor did it hurt, the purple spots still caused her concern. Not only that, but the small teenager had barely eaten during his time under the weather. Rin worried that this went beyond a simple loss of appetite from the fever, for feeling “too full” became a frequent complaint from Len even when little to nothing had been eaten for hours. When Rin was able to coax him to eat something, Len could not eat much of it without the stomach pain getting worse and feeling nauseous.

Keeping the foreboding feeling to herself, Rin slid the pillow behind Len’s back. She watched him groggily hold a tissue to his nose, barely awake. His face was so pale that his skin looked paper-thin, and he was visibly trembling, despite the heavy blankets draped over his shoulders and on his lap. She could hear his teeth chattering.

“…Has it stopped,” she inquired softly, more to herself than to Len, and reached to pull the tissue away from his nose slightly. When she did not see anymore active blood-flow, Rin deemed it safe to dispose of it. “Finally,” she sighed, exasperated as she added the crumpled tissue to the small mound already in the trash.

Len coughed weakly and slumped back into the mattress. Everything ached, especially his legs and underneath his arms. It was a deep, dull pain that felt like it came from his bones. They were reminiscent of growing pains, but it was more uncomfortable. Simply laying in bed, he could feel the ache pulsing. Trying to walk was a nightmare between the pain and the dizziness. Every time he stood, his head swam and gravity felt like it was playing games.

Despite how much sleep he had gotten since the fever started, Len’s energy was sluggish to return. He only woke when he was roused by Rin, and even then the sting of fatigue weighed heavy on his lids. “Thanks,” he mumbled to his sister in an almost inaudible breath, obviously on the edge of slumber.

Rin bit her lip, feeling conflicted. Having watched Len’s condition gradually go from bad to worse, she was nervous. Even though the doctor had said twice that it was only mono, she still had the feeling something was off. He seemed too weak for it to be within normal expectations, but at the same time Rin knew she had a tendency to jump to the worst case scenario. “Len,” she started nervously, unsure if her worry was justified. “Don’t you think we should get that rash checked out?”

Slowly, Len shook his head, not bothering to open his eyes. “…t’s fine…”

Her heart sank a little. “Are you sure? The doctor hasn’t seen it…”

An annoyed groan rattled in Len’s chest as he tightened his fetal position, blankets clenched in his hands. “He said it’s mono,” he argued, desperately wanting the conversation to be over so he could go back to sleep.

“I know but-“ she began to offer a rebuttle but was interrupted by Len’s ringtone suddenly exploding into the room.

Len whimpered, almost ready to cry by that time. He was far too exhausted to answer his phone and that piercing tune was impossibly loud. Still not opening his eyes, he fumbled around his bed for the vibrating mobile device. His fingers searched blindly for a horribly long moment before they wrapped around the cool metal of his smartphone. “Will you answer this, please,” Len asked as he pointed the cellphone toward his twin.

After taking the phone from Len’s hand, Rin looked at the caller ID and immediately recognized the number as the hospital’s. A stroke of relief hit her, realizing this follow up call as her opportunity to mention the rash on Len’s legs. “Hello,” she answered.

“Hi, is this Len Kagamine?” The voice on the other end asked. It was not their physician, but instead a young woman.

“This is Rin, his sister. Len is resting right now,” Rin explained. “He’s still not feeling any better.”

“Hi Rin, I’m sorry to hear that,” the woman replied. “I’m Dr. Chiba from Higashi Memorial Hospital. I’m calling to talk about the results of Len’s recent blood test.”

Not expecting the call to be anything other than a check in, Rin was caught off guard. “Oh, okay,” was all she could manage in response, incredibly confused by receiving a call from a doctor she had never spoken to before.

Dr. Chiba continued. “Your doctor sent Len’s blood to me for testing, and I found a couple things I wanted to talk about. I know this is sudden, but would now be a good time to come see me?”

Taken aback by the unexpected summon, Rin stammered. “Wh- come see you?” She echoed the doctor’s words as her eyes glanced down at Len, who had surprisingly cracked open his eyes to meet her gaze. She understood his silent plea not to agree to the visit. “I don’t- you can’t tell me over the phone?”

“I really think it’s best if we speak in person.” The doctor’s voice over the phone was soft but stern, carrying a latent sense of urgency that made a knot form in Rin’s stomach.

“…O-okay,” Rin answered hesitantly. “Um, when should we… does it have to be right now?”

“If you aren’t caught up in another appointment, I would like you to come in to go over the results of blood test as soon as possible,” Dr. Chiba insisted.

Rin kneaded her forehead as the brick in her stomach grew heavier. “Okay, I’ll get him up,” she reluctantly agreed, turning away from the glare Len shot at her. She ended the call and immediately began to explain.

“Len, I’m sorry, I know you’re tired,” Rin apologized, guilt thick in her voice. “That was a doctor from the hospital. She needs to talk to us about the blood they took last time you got checked out.”

——

Getting Len out of bed took nearly as long as the bus ride to the hospital, but about an hour since the phone call the two were sat in front of a foreign desk, looking at a woman they had never met before.

Rin rung her hands nervously in her lap, her mind running rampant with worry. Meanwhile, Len sat in the chair beside her, bundled up in a heavy sweatshirt and looking miserably fatigued.

Dr. Chiba was the first to speak. “Thank you for coming in on such short notice.” She placed a folder on her desk and pulled out the small packet of papers inside. “These are the results from Len’s blood test. I saw a couple abnormalities that I think need further testing.”

“Abnormalities?” Rin repeated, urging her to go on.

Instead of explaining right away, Dr. Chiba flipped to the last page of the packet and slid it toward Rin. “I believe it’s in your best interest to schedule an appointment with Dr. Kamori in Oncology.”

Rin’s eyes drifted down to the paper pushed in her direction, and immediately her eyes were drawn to the big red words underneath the hospital’s sigil. One in particular made her heart freeze in her chest: Cancer. Reeling, Rin’s wide eyes returned to the doctor. “C-cancer?” The word felt like poison on her tongue, as if speaking it aloud would seal Len’s fate and condemn him to the terrible disease.

In an apologetic tone, the doctor confirmed her suspicion. “Len’s bloodcount numbers are indicative of a leukemic syndrome.”

Len was suddenly very awake, more awake than he had been in the past two weeks. His ears began to ring as his head swarmed with fear, stomach filling with wicked butterflies and jumping to his throat. It felt as if he had received a death sentence, and he was now faced with his mortality. He was dying. If they did nothing, he would die. Even if he did get treatment, he could still die. His heart hammered fast and hard in his chest; he could hear it pulsing in his ears as the ringing dulled to white noise.

Beside him, Rin abruptly stood up from her chair, blue eyes brimming with tears. Her expression fell somewhere between anger and despair. “No! You’re wrong,” she blurted out in disbelief, her worst fears becoming a close reality. Sure, her worried mind had mentioned the word cancer before coming to the hospital, but never had she imagined that it would turn out to be true. “That can’t be right. He- he just has mono, right? The doctor said he had mono…”

“I’m sorry to deliver such bad news,” was the doctor’s solemn response, a declaration that there was no mistake.

Dr. Chiba’s words felt sharp, like a knife through a Rin’s chest as they met her ears, and the young adolescent fell back into her chair, tears starting to fall from her eyes. She stared blankly at the paper on the desk, the word cancer screaming in red ink. “It can’t be… no way.”

Opting to give the two some time to absorb the weight of the information given, Dr. Chiba stood up and placed her hand on Rin’s shoulder. “I’ll give you two a few minutes to talk,” she offered, to which neither twin responded.

It was not until the click of the door behind the doctor leaving the office that Rin turned her gaze to Len. He was staring ahead with wide eyes, expression frozen in shock. “L-Len,” She croaked through the frog in her throat.

Slowly, Len turned to his sister, her voice piercing the the static in his ears, and immediately crumbled in fear. Tears poured out of his eyes as panic set in, his mind bringing forth every dream he had for his future, knowing that he may not live long enough to achieve the. “I-I dont wanna die,” was all he could say, a choked sob catching.

In an instant, Rin collected her twin in her arms, squeezing him as if he would vanish at any moment. Her heart broke for him. “No, Len,” she moaned in despair, shaking her head. “You’re not gonna die… it’s way to early to think like that. B-besides… I’ll do whatever I can to make you better. I’ll give you anything, my blood, a kidney, whatever, anything it takes,” she promised in a trembling voice.

Lens shaking arms reached up and desperately clung to his sister, white knuckles squeezing fistfuls of Rin’s shirt. “I’m scared,” he bawled, breaking into violent sobs, only muffled by the fabric he pressed his face into.

“I know,” Rin whimpered into his messy blonde hair, her own tears cascading down her cheeks. Her hand stroked his back as she placed a kiss against his forehead. “It’s gonna be okay.” In truth, Rin was terrified. They did not know what stage the cancer was in, what kind of treatment he would need, what the statistics were, or what precautions they needed to take. The uncertainty of his prognosis made for overwhelming fear. She could only imagine how much worse it must be to be the one who was going through it.

Pulling back, Rin sniffled and cupped Len’s face in her hands. “They’ll do tests to find out what needs to be done, and we’ll do it. Okay?”

Hiccuping with sobs, Len stared at her, his eyes swimming, and nodded. He latched onto those words in a desperate search of comfort. She was right, after all. He was not dead yet, and the news was not a death sentence either. If they fought back hard enough, he would be okay. Right? If Rin was so confident in that, he had to believe it, even if the process and the risks were petrifying. “O-okay,” he whined, eyes squeezing out a few more fat tears.

Seeing that the worst of Len’s sobs calmed, Rin again gathered him in a tight hug. Whatever was going to happen, she was determined to face it. She knew it would be hard, not only for Len, but also for her watching him go through it. Rin decided she needed to become stronger. There would be times during treatment that Len would feel helpless and, of course, sick. Len would need her more than ever, and she would be there.

[waitinginthedarke]

BIGBANG - MAFIA!AU - SERIES 3

A BIGBANG FANFICTION

Summary: The saying goes, ‘the mafia is family, the mafia is home’…but even if ‘the mafia is home’…is it really the right place to raise a child?

Masterlist (including series one and two)

Disclaimer: Mentions of (familial) physical abuse.

Chapter 7

20 years ago

‘When’s your curfew?’

‘I don’t know. I think my dad said 8.’ Seunghyun replies, shouting over his shoulder to his friend as the two of them speed down the country road on their bikes, grinning as the wind whips against his skin and he dodges the potholes in the cement.

‘Its already 8:15 now! Shouldn’t we head back?- He’ll shout at you again!’ his friend calls, tiny, cute, pre-teen face creased in concern, his voice growing more distant as Seunghyun speeds down the road that lead into town, his heart racing at the prospect of the city lights and the energetic locals.

‘Seunghyun! Come on! Your Dad scares me! I don’t want him to shout at me too! ...Seunghyun!!-‘

‘He wont shout at you, you scaredy-cat! Besides, we’ll go back in a little while! I just want to see-‘

‘SEUGNHYUN! YOUR FATHER WANTS TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW!’

He skids to a stop in his surprise at the sudden voice just behind him, his scrappy brakes almost causing him to go over the handlebars before he manages to pause and look over his shoulder at the guy who’d called to him out the window of the car that was pulling up alongside him.

‘Who says?’ Seunghyun retorts, knowing exactly where the demand had come from, but being frustrated that his plans had been forced to a stop so soon. He looks behind himself to see his friend having paused a little ways up the road, staring with wide, innocent, eyes at the car, but seeming to recognize it as something to do with Seunghyun’s dad as when he turns to look over at him, ending up simply shrugging apologetically, before turning his bike around and speeding back down the road toward home.

Baby.

‘Your father is running riot because you weren’t back on time, so I suggest you turn around and head back, young man…you know what happened last time.’ The guy in the car says, the expression he shoots Seunghyun pleading with him to just do as he was told so as not to suffer from his father’s hand again.

‘Fine.’ Seunghyun mutters, before angrily skidding his bike round in the opposite direction to town and beginning the dreary ride back, leaving his hopes of seeing the lights behind...

‘I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN THE VILLAGE- TO BE BACK BY 8!- WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, BOY! I SWEAR BY ALL THAT IS HOLY-‘

Each hit with each word fell on a numb body, Seunghyun having learnt from a young age that even if he protested against the fist beating down on him, it would only lead to more beatings, and more pain afterwards.

‘YOU SELFISH BASTARD! WHY WONT YOU EVER LISTEN-‘

‘Sir?-‘

‘WHAT!?’

Seunghyun’s thankful for the break from the constant battering, glancing up from his place knelt on the floor to look at the man who had just walked in the door to pass some information onto his father, nodding subtly to him in thanks when he sees the quick glance the man makes in his direction and the apologies hidden in his eyes for Seunghyun’s father’s action.

‘Take him to his room and make sure he doesn’t leave. I’m not done with him yet, but he’s going to have to wait.’ His father suddenly mutters to the man after he’d received whatever information had been passed on, sneering at Seunghyun over his shoulder, before stalking past the man out of the room, his father’s absence allowing him the opportunity to sit up properly and stretch, hissing at the newly re-bruised muscles along his back.

‘Come on, son. The sooner you’re in your room, the sooner you can relax…before he comes back.’ The same guy who’d passed on the information states, smiling sadly down at Seunghyun and holding out his hand to help him to his feet.

As much as Seunghyun hated being pitied by his father’s men- especially when they did nothing when the man was actually hurting him- he still appreciated the false sense of security he felt when he was left with them, taking any piece of comfort they offered him and indulging himself in it whilst he could.

‘Thanks. …can you check if my friend got home okay?’ Seunghyun asks quietly as he proceeds to get guided through the house to his room, the regal décor making him scowl at the lost childhood spent being forced into a regime without fun and filled with his father’s anger, whilst he worries about the well-being of his friend. 

‘Sure thing, bud. I’ll send someone out.’ The guy murmurs, looking down at the young boy and settling his hand on his shoulder for comfort, the sad smile he sends toward him thankfully going unnoticed, as the man thinks back to the joyful smile he’d seen Seunghyun sporting as he’d ridden his bike freely before…

And the way he’d shouted happily to the empty road behind him…

Present Day 

SEUNGHYUN

He couldn’t move.

For the first time in almost 20 years, Seunghyun couldn’t speak…couldn’t move…could barely even think.

Was this some kind of sick joke?

‘Would I be able to have a moment with Seunghyun?’ the man in the doorway asks, the question that sounded so obtuse in Seunghyun’s mind immediately being rebutted by Kyungil, who stands from the seat at the side of the bed before he could even say anything himself.

‘Im not leaving him.’ Kyungil states, hand fisted at his side, and something about his confident challenging of the man who was assuming to be Seunghyun’s father has Seunghyun smiling behind the stone expression of blankness he was currently sporting.

‘I don’t believe that is your decision to make, young man. And when you address me it will be by-‘

‘He’s not leaving.’

Those three simple words had everyone turning to look at Seunghyun, the cold man before him staring him stoically in the eye for almost an entire half a minute, before Seunghyun averts his gaze to Kyungil and nods at him in thanks, signalling for the man to fall back slightly, standing closer to Seunghyun in the process.

‘Seunghyun, im sure you’re confused by the situation-‘

‘That’s an understatement.-’

‘-Will you let me finish?’

The coldness to the man’s tone, as icy as ever it had been, has Seunghyun glaring at him momentarily before nodding for him to go on, Seunghyun perching on the edge of the bed in a faux-calm façade as he listens to the bullshit that he knew was going to leave the man’s mouth, his memories of the time before making him biased in his dislike for the man.

‘Im sure you’re confused about the situation…but I haven’t brought you here to demand anything of you... or to try and convince you to join my mafia over the one you’re currently in- however, abysmal it may be-‘

‘I think you should watch your tongue when you’re speaking about my family.’ Seunghyun cuts in icily, continuing to stare at the floor as he speaks, and glancing up at his ‘father’ momentarily to make it clear he was serious, before he watches him straighten up, clearly affronted by the term he’d used.

‘How ironic.’ is all he murmurs as he smirks unamusedly, before going on.

‘I’ve brought you here because I think we need to settle some things. I’ve been able to watch you grow from afar over the years- after you decided to leave-...but its only been made clear to me recently just how much I’ve missed out on by not having contact with my own son-’

Seunghyun’s snort cuts off the man’s explanation, the sound signalling his boredom over the subject of family ties, and its as Seunghyun stands, deciding he’d had enough of listening to pretend excuses to attempt to recruit him, that he finally speaks.

‘It’s a bit late for family reunions don’t you think? You seem to be under the impression that you and I have some family history…but im afraid you’re greatly mistaken; I never had parents, and the only family I have are more than likely waiting for me to return right now. So, im afraid whatever offer you’re about to make, I’ll be declining. …If you’ll excuse me-‘

‘Seunghyun, sit down.’

The command has Seunghyun’s bones rattling and his blood running like ice through his veins, the way it sounded exactly the same as all those years ago having his senses sharpening to a point as he awaits the attack…

…but it never comes.

And that was the most terrifying thing for Seunghyun.

‘No.’ he says simply back, keeping a careful lock down on his expression as he silently challenges the other man, and not taking his eyes off of him as he subconsciously reaches back to grab Kyungil’s arm, making to pull him from the room as the need for escape begins to burn through his veins.

He makes it past his father and half way down the corridor, before the words the man calls after him, has him stopping in his tracks.

‘I don’t suppose you’ve spoken to the boy recently, Seunghyun?’

THE MANSION

‘Hyung, will you just calm down for one minute?-‘

‘Shut up, Seungri. I’ve not got time for your rambling right now-‘ Jiyong hisses behind you as you hold your phone your ear where you were stood quietly in the corner by the window, all 3 of you having moved to the office with the revelation of what had happened to Seunghyun.

‘I’ve driven about a mile back, but Minhyuk has his sights on the building they took him into beside me, we’re watching from the rooftop of-‘

‘But what about the trainees, they’re expecting-‘

‘Does it look like I give a shit about the trainees, Seungri? What importance do they hold over the longest serving member of this gang? Huh? Exactly! Now shut-‘

‘-the law firm. Jiho is only partially aware of the situation, but after I told him it was by request of you, he’s become more interested- he’s on his way up to speak to me now-‘

‘Dont tell him anything…not yet.’ You cut Mark off quickly without a thought, instinctively glancing up to see what Jiyong was doing as you realize the room had dropped into silence and feeling your blood run cold when you see him having turned to look at you, his expression guarded as he realizes something was going on that he didn’t know about.

‘I’ll be there in 20.’ You murmur before hanging up, sheepishly looking down at your phone as you go to slip it into your pocket, and feeling your heart begin to race as you tap in to how tense the room had become.

‘What was that about...?’

Why did he have to sound so angry already?

‘It was just Mark.’ You state, steeling yourself as you straighten up and lift your head to look at your lover, matching his gaze and feeling like everything would be okay…until he lifts one eyebrow and begins to make his way over to you, shoulders rolling like a panther.

As much as you weren’t scared of Jiyong, you never enjoyed it when he became so tensely focused on you.

‘Can I ask what he wanted? You sounded pretty tense at the end there-’

‘He told me where Seunghyun has been taken.’

The way his eyes flash at your blunt statement has you both watching each other carefully, his muscle jumping in his cheek revealing one of two things; 

he was very seriously contemplating how to react...

...and his anger levels were through the roof.

‘We need to go, NOW.’ He states eerily calmly, holding your gaze for only a few more seconds, before turning and marching to his desk where he opens his side drawer sharply and pulls out a handgun, checking its loaded, before slipping it into his waistband at his back and grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair.

‘Are you two just going to stand around all day?’ he asks, not even bothering to look up at you and Seungri, and your own anger beginning to build within you at his passivity of the situation has you stalking to the door without another word, beginning to walk down the corridor without waiting for them, and only hearing the sound of their footsteps following after you as you head for the stairs.

‘Hey, Y/N, what-‘ Youngbae goes to ask when he suddenly emerges from the kitchen corridor to see you stalking across the main reception area, cutting off into silence when he presumably catches sight of Jiyong behind you, and his footsteps join the procession out the door without a question. For a moment you hear Jiyong muttering something into his phone as you stalk toward the car and unlock it, but almost instantaneously its explained by Daesung jogging over from the prison barn, expression appearing serious before you turn to open the driver’s side door.

‘Uh, Y/N, do you want me to-‘ Youngbae goes to ask, gesturing toward the steering wheel as he tries to ask if you wanted him to drive, but he’s cut short by Jiyong who just nods his head at his friend to gesture for him to get in the back, before slipping into the passenger seat as you see Seungri pull his motorbike out from the shed across the yard.

Its silent as you shut the door and slip on your seatbelt, only glancing at Jiyong once but still not being able to meet his eyes before you’re turning to start the engine, and just as quickly you’re pulling out of the parking lot as gravel spits from your tyres with the acceleration, Seungri speeding off ahead of you.

‘How long has he known?’ Jiyong asks suddenly into the quiet of the car, his voice still guarded and filled with tension, but something about the way he words the question reveals a slightly softer edge than before, and you feel some of your anger leave you in response as your grip loosens the tiniest fraction in its vice like grip on the steering wheel.

‘I called him the day after we found out he’d disappeared.’ You murmur, overtaking a car on the road and swerving to quickly re situate yourself in the lane, seeing Jiyong’s hand clench on his thigh where he’d been surprised and feeling lighter with his obvious protectiveness.

‘Did he know about the fight this evening?’ he asks, flexing his fingers on his leg and struggling to maintain the unaffected façade he was holding up as he carefully tracked your route, giving away how frustrated and impatient he was about the situation with the way he turns his head to look at you, prompting an answer.

‘Yes. He said the same think Seungri did; Kyungil was on a suicide mission-‘

‘I swear to GOD, when I get my hands on this brat I will kill him.’ Jiyong cuts you off, and it takes you a moment to realize he’s on about Kyungil and not Mark, the deadly tone to his voice making you swallow thickly with nerves as you push your foot down on the accelerator.

‘Pull over.’ He mutters a moment later, his no-nonesense tone having you following his orders without question, not wanting to provoke him in this mood and wanting a chance to try and calm him, despite the rush you were in.

The second you pull up the handbrake and jump out of the car, you jog to switch with him, the two of you meeting near the trunk as you change seats, but the second you grab his arm to make him pause so that you could talk to him, you watch him spin on you dangerously, his presence towering over you where he was so full of rage at the danger his friend was in.

‘Ji, please just calm down- we don’t know whats going on yet-‘

‘EXACTLY Y/N.’ he hisses, hand grabbing your own wrist and causing your heart to thunder with adrenaline as you try not to pull against the death grip he had on you, knowing it would only make him more upset when he realized how he was treating you because of his anger.

‘We don’t know whats going on, and im terrified that this time we wont get Seunghyun back. I don’t know what or who he’s been lured in by- any number of things could be happening to him right now-... and all I can think, is that I’ve been SO pre-occupied with wanting a kid, with wanting you to be happy, and not wanting to push you into anything, despite how much I fucking want this,...that I haven’t given a single shit about how Seunghyun has been feeling- how he’s probably felt so unwanted by me that I pushed him to leave in the first place! AND NOW, now he’s with this bastard, whom would be the last person I’d ever trust, I-‘

The last words are spat at the sky, the hopelessly desperate rage that he shouts them with causing your heart to cry out and the tears that had built in your eyes to spill over, your hand fisted at your side weakening in the protest that had been building up within you, and so all you can do is watch him as he releases your arm and slams his fist on the back of the car, bracing himself there for a moment, before shaking his head and dragging himself up again, proceeding to head for the front seat; concluding that the conversation was over.

But for you, that was far from the case…you just didn’t want to argue right then.

‘Get in, we need to go-‘ he goes to say, glancing at a car as it passes, before snapping his head to look at you when you speak up.

‘I’m not coming with you.’ 

You lift your head to look over at him where he’d been just about to slide into the front seat, watching him laugh shortly and without humour, before glancing over at you.

‘Don’t do this now. Just get in the car.’ He states, his eyes daring you to refuse, but by the way his fingers tighten in their grip on the car door, he already knew that you’d made your decision.

‘Now isn’t the time to argue, Jiyong. …but we also cant be together right now.’ You say calmly, hating the way your chest was radiating with pain from the prospect of separating from him, but refusing the aching advances on your heart as you continue to watch him steadily, seeing his face drop of its Boss facade momentarily as he realizes you were serious and his fear of being without you takes over.

‘Go and save him... I’ll be right behind you. Don’t worry-‘

‘Y/N, just get in-‘

‘Go…Jiyong. Save him… I’ll be right behind you.’ You cut him off, smiling gently at him to reassure him that it was alright and seeing the conflict waver in his eyes; trying to decide if he should stay to convince you, or just do as you say and leave, but the second Jihoon rides up on the motorbike- having been sent by Mark to help with directions, parking up beside you and removing his helmet to see what was going on- Jiyong simply nods, taking a moment to look at you with longing in his eyes, before disappearing into the car with a scowl and you watch as your family speeds away without you.

‘What happened?’ Jihoon asks, looking confusedly over at you where you stood watching the car disappear around the curve in the road, before you turn to look at him, dragging in a deep breath and stalking over to swing your leg over the bike. You climb on behind him and accept the helmet he passes you without a word, Jihoon opting himself to go without to make sure you were safe- before he starts the engine once more and you finally answer him.

‘I just sorted my priorities out.’ You say, more to yourself than to him, before tapping him on the shoulder and pointing in the direction that lead back to the Mansion.

‘Step on it.’

(T.B.C)