#i dont think ive mentioned it on here but this shit has been kicking my ass for the past month

[jtbb]

parosmia affirmations my mint toothpaste tastes regular and normal and not at all like moldy meat 🙏 the smell of rotten onions actually accentuates this delicious quesadilla 🙏 i can exist within a 5 mile proximity of somebody frying eggs 🙏 i still remember what garlic used to smell like 🙏 etc

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

fucking thank you for mentioning that black and brown and indigenous bloggers (esp trans women) on this website have been nuked since 2016 and nobody gave a shit. this website has been racist and transmisogynistic for years and 99% of the ""community"" on here didn't give a fuck until now.

an indigenous child is dead. transfem bloggers are harassed. nobody cares about that. the white trans community on this site cares about funny jokes and infighting instead of protecting us. avery deserves better. nex deserved better. children are being murdered and people have decided to strip every ounce of racial and transmisogynistic intent from the current wave of violence in favor of jokes.

when do we get to be a part of our own communities? when do we get the support and protection and righteous anger from other trans people? im so fucking tired.

honestly? ive been talking about this stuff for years, and the only reason it got attention is because of what happened to rita being so public, those posts never got the attention they should've and that doesnt surprise me in the slightest.

we arent a part of this "community", we wouldnt be trampled on and forgotten if we were actually important. and whenever we make our own spaces they take that over too. it doesnt matter what happens to us in the process. i hate the performative bullshit i hate the jokes i hate the ignorance i hate that theres nothing left for us.

the only times we're fucking noticed is when somebody murders us and EVEN THEN thats giving too much credit. white people get to joke about this shit while we have to live every day accepting that we'll be left behind. with no way of finding others like us to even feel just a smidgen of comfort. you look at the tag for black trans women before this photomatt bs and theres nothing but our murders. you cant even find shit about all the poc getting banned from this site because nobody cared to document anything let alone Help us.

im really fucking tired of seeing the 'support black trans women!' posts around here. you dont support us when we look you in the eye and Beg. when i got kicked out last year and made a post about it NOBODY batted an eye until rita and afew other popular white transfems reblogged it. and im the lucky one. people would rather be upset at the hammer car than us dying in the streets. i dont even know how to type this all out, just thinking about this makes me furious. i spent the early years of my transition hearing nothing but black trans girls getting murdered in their cars for $100. thats how worth our lives are in this "community". we cant even get that much in donations.

im tired too hun, im really fucking tired

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[schlattslonghairytoes]

chapter eight

Snapchat!

Tyler

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👨🏻‍💼 theodore   🟥 new snap   2d

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🤷🏽‍♀️ bust down tatiana 🟥 new snap   8m

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👸🏼 hot girl from party 🟦 new chat   6s

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����🏼‍🎤 King Charles pt.3 ▶️ delivered   1w

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theodore 

bust down tatiana

Tylers pov

real life!

when i open talias snap my heart immediately drops and i walk over to ted and Charlie. "teddy char, look what she sent me before schlatt went upstairs to her." ted looked up and immediately followed "they need to figure out their shit, im so tired of all this"

"what even happened between them that they love-hate eachother like that." charlie asks 

one fateful night changed both of them in their own way, four weeks prior to the incident talia and schlatt made a mistake. they were both high in talias basement and one thing led to another and ... you can guess the rest.

but it didnt stop there, the two formed a secret situationship, the most dangerous of ships, and continued their secret away from the eyes of their friends, but it wasn't utill mear weeks before they were ment to leave for college that their friendship crumbled into pieces.

~~early september~~

"schlatt, man, ive got to ask, is talia single? cause ive been meaning to get to know her and i think shes really hot so...?" schlatts friend questioned. the luck of the straws meant that today happened to be one of the many days schlatt was in a shitty mood.

schlatts response to his friend was nothing if not nice "you can have her, shes a bitch though im warning you." now you may think this is tame, but wait and see what this mans mouth can really do (pause).

later that day schlatt made a bad choice, he went to a party, without telling talia, and shortly after drinking an entire bottle of Titos, by himself, in the span of 2 hours, schlatt found himself at the party, he managed to make an even worse decision, talk to a pretty girl and lead her to the back of the party.

all the while talia sat in her bedroom, waiting for schlatt to come over, because something slipped schlatts mind, with all the alcohol and that blonde girl with the fake nose, today was september 9th. 

talia romanos date of birth.

now you may ask, what the fuck does that have to do with anything. to which i say shut the hell up and keep reading.

and the reason this has such significance is that talias parents dont give a shit about her. second her friends and her had celebrated days before, so that schlatt and her could have their annual birthday sleep over. one birthday into the next. they had done this every year since turning 8.

so naturally talia assumed the worst, assumed schlatt on his short walk to her apartment, had been murdered, mugged, molested, or worse. forgot. so she made her way to his apartment, but when she found no one home, naturally, she lost it.

187 texts

23 voicemails

and finally 

1 email

she then decided to make a move she deemed smart, she deleted all of them. but to top the cake. her cherry on top if you will. at 12:26, officially schlatts birthday. a public story was updated. not just anyones story. her best friend anabelles. 

a picture of anabelle and schlatt making out at a party with the caption "hbd @jj.schlatty! tn was so much fun cant wait to see what 17 brings!!" now talia thought it was fake. i mean her and schlatt were practically dating! and not to mention it was taken down 2 minutes later! so maybe this was an old picture, but it cant be it says "tn was so much fun". 

so here is where logic talia kicked in, she knew if she brought this up, it would end DISASTROUSLY and i mean bad. so her logic was, she was never going to bring it up, if she was in love with schlatt and he was out doing this. there was a clear one-sidedness to this whole thing they had going on. so she decided it was over.

the next day at school was a long one. it started first period with anabelle giving a long and detailed recap of last night, painstakingly long, and with her newfound info she hatched a plan. then came second period. new media broadcasting. a sports recap/school announcements class that schlatt and talia shared

more then just shared, they were co-anchors, they ran the show together since freshman year, so when she walked in the door to see a hungover schlatt slouching in his seat, her grin grew 3 sizes

"hey pumpkin! i got you coffee from the deli" she sat the black coffee down on his desk before quickly walking over to nick. her other best friend, whom she liked a bit more then anyone at the moment. the lighting and sound guy

"hey sexy, i need to make this quick, you are coming over after school because we need to fucking talk, but if you could do me a HUGE favor i would love you even more then i do now" nick was the only one who knew about schlatt and talia. "when we start the broadcast, turn schlatts lights up as high as they go."

"oh bitch im already on it" and it was go time. now all you need to know about that broadcast is, it never aired. schlatt couldnt read the teleprompter, he shivered when talia made a psa about underage drinking, his mouth was dry, and he even screamed at nick to lower the lights.

so naturally he wanted to talk during 3rd, their free period they shared, she agreed. they walked to the Panera 3 doors down, ordered food and sat down

"what the fuck happened last peiod talia, cause i know for a fact that you talking to nick, and then my lighting suddenly bumping up in quality had something in common. so spit it out, what did i do?". he said with a tone talia didn't particularly enjoy

"well schlatt do me a favor. look at the date for me. it is currently september 11, and no im not gonna make a towers joke. heres the thing about september, see we both have pretty important milestones there dont we?"

"talia what are you on about" his brow raised. "wow you really are dense, since i guess you developed short term memory loss, presumably from all the exsessive drinking you do, it seems youve forgot something, something that happenes every year"

"can you ge-" "oh im not finished" she cut him off

"every year we have done the exact same thing, and i loved doing that thing, but since you decided not to show up i guess the feeling wasnt mutual. you missed my birthday Jonathan. better yet our birthday. jalias birthday, or talanthan if youre more into that. a tradition we have kept alive since we were 8 years old, but you deemed so unimportant, you killed in one night, so next time the lights are extra bright, or nick glares at you across the room, maybe think, wow i just might of upset talia, on the one day she needed you most, now if you'll excuse me, one of us wants to do well in life and actually get accepted into college, so i am leaving, i already payed dont worry, i know not having a job can be hard, ill see you around Jonathan." she spat out.

and with that she walked out, and that is where their fued began, but ill save for another day, a more dramatic one. but for now lets head back to tyler and his friends.

Tylers pov

real life!

"schlatt once told me it had to do with him "fucking up" but then gave me no context and changed subjects so i assume he said something stupid but then again everything he says is stupid so im not to sure." ted responded

"that adds up but all i know is im tired of them fighting, its really annoying." Charlie looked up at me as if a light bulb went off "guys i have a plan, what if we-" "locked them in a room together!!" ted finished his sentence before the started screaming and jumping around

"do you guys share a brain or something?"

[the-s1lly-corner]

Which of the creeps (that you write romantically for) be okay/like a bada$$ s/o? Like every1 is intimidated and every1 thinks that if you try to fight them you’re stupid? Have a great day!!

Creeps with a badass reader!

i actually really like this idea!! also im so so sorry it took me so long to get to this </3!! ive kinda been focusing on art these past few days, and when i havent been drawing ive kinda been. laying in my own. feelings. sleepy.... yk how it is!!

with that said! yeah! i wont be doing all the bare bones list of characters i usually do with non specified characters! to keep true with the prompt im going to stick with characters i feel would like this kind of S/O and/or compliment the readers fierce nature... also going to aim for a more comedic style

LIST OF CHARACTERS: Laughing Jack, Eyeless Jack, Hoodie, Splendorman

CW; mentions of violence

Splendorman;

No because just think about it; a soft easy going cryptid with a strong and ready to fight partner

"he asked for no pickles" dynamic basically imo LMAO

he would rather you tone it down, or at least dont fight for him... he doesnt want you to get hurt, or in trouble..! mostly trouble, he knows you can handle yourself

he wont ever say it but hes internally swooning anytime you fight for him, though. like. "oh? they would do this for me just because someone said something vaguely mean about me?"... hes red in the face

tries to introduce you to new people to make potential friends since he kinda thinks part of your bloodlust(/j) is from loneliness, which in turn makes people see you as.. mean... so its a loop. he doesnt mean it in a bad way! he just cares about your well being!

overall he secretly thinks its hot but hed rather you stay out of trouble and hed try to find ways to make you less fierce...

Laughing Jack;

like splendorman he thinks its hot but he WILL vocalize it

also he thinks its really funny whenever people try to antagonize you

pulls a bag of popcorn out of thin air and watches the show/hj

he will literally cheer for you from the sidelines and becomes the fights personal announcer

absolutely treats you when you win; showered in praise and love and gifts

hes flustered; depending on what color you think he blushes (personally i think he blushes a purpleish-grey), his entire face is that color when he watches it happen

again, hes really into it

smh ive been on a lj trip these past few days and i hardly got anything for him here god mfing damn!!!!

Hoodie;

ngl he probably throws himself into the fight and yall both kick the shit out of the person

basically think something like this scene (ive never seen jjba my friend showed me this) where he just joins you after watching for a few seconds (we can say the third person is masky/j)

anyways it wont let me move the gif up so pretend the gif is under the above bullet point instead of at the end of this segment

really yall are kinda the same but hoodie is more likely to sit back and access the situation before jumping in and fighting someone unless like. its an immediate life or death thing

now how does he feel about you being a proclaimed badass?

he respects it, and he knows that you can defend yourself when hes not around so it also puts him at ease

maybe you two will spar every now and then to get better at defense and offense stuff (he will not go easy on you btw, bro will give it his all)

Eyeless Jack;

he doesnt really like the fighting since hes also likely the one who has to patch you up afterwards. like even if you win the fight youre still going to be hurt in some way, this applies to all the other characters too. ej is just the only one who has the knowledge when it comes to tending wounds...

with ej, in my au, he doesnt really. like conflict, especially since his own body is changing into something that isnt human; he already has enough on his plate already, doesnt need to go bury an extra body because he let his temper get the better of him

and every now and then, that mindset of avoiding conflict bleeds to how he views you and your attitude

hes happy that you can defend yourself, like hoodie he admires it; but at the same time he gets so scared that youre going to pick a fight with the wrong person or get hit in the wrong spot, and..

he does not pity those who are dumb enough to rile you up, though..

overall he worries for you and already has enough on his plate with himself ... but dont think that he sees tending to you as a burden! hell do it regardless of what caused your injury

possible idea for an angst post? ooo? maybe, if you guys want it

[avatarl0v3r]

“Na’vi Can’t be With Humans”| Chapter 3

Summary: lo’ak explains to y/n that he doesn’t want tsireya but his dad wants them to get along, when the sky people attack the village, y/n has to decide if the love she has for lo’ak is strong enough for her to risk her life for him and possibly dying in the process

warnings/notes: Tsireya still being a bitch , time skip happened in part 1 reader and Lo’ak are 16 now, as i said before i picture y/n as black in all my stories w/o mentioning skin tone or hair type but in this story y/n has curly hair (3b-3c)

Previous

Taglist🏷️: @jimfiqs @fanboyluvr @owaowaowawa @iloveavatar @mashiromochi @nyotamalfoy @debsworld23 @dioriez @jakesully-sbabygirl @brookesbizzareadvendture @neteyamforlife @arminsgfloll @yeosxxx @uwu-i-purple-you @dakotali @lovekeeho

you went back to your hut and laid down allowing your self to fall asleep to the water, the ilu’s noises, the mumbled voices from far away.

you opened your eyes and you were in your link bed you got up and headed for your bedroom only be stopped halfway “Where do you think your going?” you looked over to see your dad standing there looking at you his arms crossed, you looked at him confused “huh?” he walked up to you “tell me what happened when you seen lo’ak and allat”

you shrugged “just the usual i guess, there isn’t really much to talk about, other than some annoying girl who keeps clinging on him” you roll your eyes at the thought, your dad nodded “makes sense, but hey look at the bright side he’s trying to talk to you,” he said looking at you and placing his hand on your shoulder “and knowing my daughter, you won’t let him explain, so try letting him do that” he said with a smile and stalked back to the lab.

sure, Youd think its that easy you thought rolling your eyes you stalked to your bed tired from all the traveling and dealing with tisreya you crashed onto the bed, letting your body sink into it allowing sleep to fall over you.

--

"hey, you gotta wake up village life starts early" your mom said shaking you up you groaned looking up at her "whyyyy" she laughed at your figure turning around toward the wall "you wanted to do this, wake up" she said pulling the blankets off your body "fine im up" you stand up and walk to the bathroom and do your daily routine, then you head to the link room "my link ready yet?" you ask someone walking into the room "almost, its 99% online just a few more seconds" you nodded and opened the link before laying inside it "online" you closed the link and cleared your head.

you opened your eyes are seen you were back in the village you sighed and changed clothes once done you grabbed your music player and put a headphone in your ear "y/n?" you sighed quietly "whats up lo'ak" you say turning to him with a hand on your hip.

lo'ak look around nervously beofre walking you watching your eyes for your approval, you gave it to him and allowed him to step foot into your hut, "so, whatcha listening to" you laughed and gave him the other headphone.

"is pink + white by frank ocean, my mom has a bunch of him songs on here by him" you say smiling as you show scroll through the songs on the small device, lo'ak smiled at your face filled with joy as you scrolled through the music showing him, it made it happen that his interest of human music was him way of seeing you so relaxed and smiling when hes around.

"i wanted to talk you," he watched your eyes avert from the screen to him "about tisreya" you rolled your eyes ready to kick him out but remembered what your dad said you signed "tell me."

lo'ak was shocked by your answer "i dont want to be around her, i dont know where she got the idea of me wanting to mate with her from, if im honest ive been avoiding her, until my dad found out and was like 'you need to be nice to her, shes the cheifs daughter' y'know basic shit my dad says all the time."

you look at him in shock "really?" he nodded at you causing you to hug him "every change i try to see you, talk to you, everything that involves you shes there, it gets annoying" you laugh at him "youll be fine, if thats how you really feel ill be for baring around her, might even a bitch."

he laughed knowing he got his bestfriend back, the girl he has feelings for.

when the hug was over he switched the subject “you still listen to that one guy? uh what was his name,” he sat there thinking for you moment you waiting with a confused look plastered on your face “i don’t know, one of the parts he sings is, “sit down be humble” or some shit” you stare for a moment “OH kendrick lamar?” “yes that’s the guy” you smile “yea of course i do a lot.”

it was like for a few hours just talking about how he bonded with a tulkun who’s just like him an outcast and listening to music, until all that was interrupted by tisreya “lo’ak there you are, i’ve been looking for you what are you doing here? With her?” she said with disgust lo’ak looked at you then back at tisreya.

“listening to music with my bestfriend what else, you can clearly see me talking and having a headphone in my ear can you not?” lo’ak was angry with the way she addressed you with disgust.

before he could continue a meeting was called ronals soul sister was found dead her calf beside her, jake was trying to warn everyone about what was happening but that didn’t work until he stood up holding the device in the air, your eyes widened at the sight fear spreading throughout your body.

“tell the tulkun if they have this on them, there marked for death, please” jake made everyone silent and after awhile they reluctantly agreed.

you noticed lo’ak sneaking away from everyone and heading towards the ilu’s “lo’ak we’re are you going?” he stopped in his tracks “to warn him, no one will tell him, so i have to” you looked at him “lo’ak i’m sure he’ll be fi-“ “NO!” you flinched away from him.

lo’ak has never raised his voice at you, but it was different he sounded angry, angry at you for trying to stop him.

“he’s my family and my brother and someone who accepts me unlike you and neteyam and the rest of the omatikaya” he stared at your face for a moment his eyes widened at his words he tried to reach out to you but you slapped his hand away before it could come in contact.

“FINE!” you screamed as you turned your back to him so he didn’t see the tears in your eyes and walked away and headed to where kiri was with tuk, you grabbed an ilu you’ve been riding since your stay, you also learned to control your breathing as you rode close to them.

a annoyed look plastered on your face caused tuk to asked what happened which gained kiris attention, you told them what happened and how lo’ak treated you rudely.

kiri thought for a moment before responding “when we came here lo’ak got really comfortable here, he pretty much considers himself metkayina while me and neteyam don’t, we don’t want to be metkayina from birth we are omatikaya and will always be, lo’ak considers the tulkun to be his brother, and honestly more of a brother than neteyam,” she sighed “i just want to go home.”

you looked at her sadly, you didn’t know how to feel when she said lo’ak considered this place his home instead of the forest, it hurt you, you both had many memories there in the forest of pandora, you grew up there, you didn’t know you would be willing to leave the forest behind for the man you grew to love, it might be selfish but you would be leaving everything and everyone you knew.

unlike lo’ak who was seen as a na’vi with demon blood, you were seen as a human in a false body, not being accepted, not feeling welcomed, you felt like the metkayina and neytiri were right all along.

you were a alien, a demon never meant to join in the life of na’vi and maybe there were right, and with what lo’ak said to you, maybe you should just go back home and stay there.

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸

y’all i’m a lier, next chapter is the last chapter and will be pretty long, but i need know should i keep neteyam alive or no?

[wygolvillage]

a new year's resolution

well, as of 2024 i’ve decided i will no longer be posting on tumblr... this shouldnt be the hugest surprise since ive been pretty critical of staff, the over-monetization of the website, the site culture, and the user experience for the past year and gradually reducing my time spent scrolling the ol’ dashboard- ive even mentioned my intent to eventually leave; well, that eventually is now! gradually ive found myself analyzing the effect that using tumblr for 7+ years has had on me, and the effects of social media in general.

ive never had to write a goodbye letter like this before. while ive joined and left several online platforms over the years, its always been a gradual fade in interest rather than a conscious decision to stop. never have i used a platform as long as ive used tumblr, over 1/3 of my life. ive grown up with tumblr, for better or worse. how do you write a goodbye for that? i guess ill have to try my best. because as important as tumblr was for me, ive recognized the way its hurt me too.

finding other avenues of online self-expression particularly has made me think a lot about this. when i edit my website i feel accomplished, happy, and content, feeling i have put something of myself out into the world, my seed to grow and garden to tend. when i scroll through tumblr i feel as if my brain is mostly idle, and when i do emotionally respond its often out of anger or annoyance, because anger = engagement and social media sites like tumblr WANT engagement. particularly because i have OCD ive found myself upset by certain aspects of tumblr discourse culture, as well- it is basically the Scrupulosity Website and much of the way i react to and interact with media has been colored by my years spent absorbing the viewpoints of said Scrupulosity Website! i even used to look up discourse topics on tumblr just to anger myself on purpose, which is a dangerous road to go down, to build up Enemies and Factions in your mind- this is how discourse culture works. the culture of tumblr teaches you to see the world in black and white, and to feel like youre always in danger of compromising your moral purity or being attacked by the morally impure. If You Don’t Reblog This You Are A Bad Person. even as someone who nowadays tries to stay away from discourse entirely, its still there in the back of my mind, because the way we interact on this website is colored by this. when im online i dont actually want to be angry all the time! in fact i like putting my effort towards more positive stuff. but additionally: tumblr made me unhappy but it also made me an addict

and yeah social media addiction sounds like a silly boomer thing to complain about but one thing i noticed when i started trying to curb my time spent on tumblr was that opening the site was damn near compulsive. we all know those “open tumblr, close tumblr, open tumblr again immediately after” memes but that did describe my behavior pretty accurately. the draw and allure of social media feeds is powerful, if i accidentally click the youtubes short tab ill find myself a half hour later scrolling through random shit i don't care about and asking well how the hell did i get here? i dont even like that stuff! tumblr is no different no matter how much the site tries to coast on the reputation of being the last social media that's a “remnant of the old web” and “has no algorithm”. i like my chronological dash but it is equally as addicting to scroll through the thousands of people ive followed over the years, as it is to scroll through the algorithmic feeds of youtube shorts, because that's just social media!

and kicking addiction is pretty damn hard. before 2023, i made two separate attempts at reducing my tumblr usage and both fell through within a week due to that addiction. for reference this current bought of thoughts about reducing my tumblr usage and making my online/irl balance more healthy, around the start of 2023 when i began working on my website and its taken me an entire year to wean myself off of the hellsite, bit by bit. theres a point where it stopped being a conscious act, and even as i was carefully whittling down how often i use tumblr with extensions like leechblock i still had that compulsion go off multiple times every day, its a really strange feeling. but now that ive found so many more ways to express myself online, i just feel more whole now... i guess what im saying is that when i post on tumblr my first instinct is to complain or wallow about something, when i post on my own handmade blog on my website i always want to talk about things that excite me or make me happy! and its been such a tangible change in the way i think and act and im certain its because of the way social media and tumblr have their own “societal expectations” and structure that is built to feed on this negativity loop.

and a lot of the biggest shifts happened when i began immersing myself in the ideals of the web revival, while creating my own website. finding things that genuinely interested me and niches i want to occupy made me so much happier. i know we make a lot of jokes about having mutuals we never talk to that mean the world to us and i do think that is indicative of something. like, when i post on a forum full of strangers i am engaging with more “face to face” (or the digital equivalent) communication than i do with years-long mutuals. how genuine are these connections, this dashboard, the enjoyment i got from that meme post ill forget in 10 minutes? (not to say that i don’t genuinely care abt my followers and mutuals. ykwim?) i can still get all the things i enjoy out of tumblr in a more curated form via rss feeds; ive been so much more proud of what i post and create and code on my website. what am i here for? i gradually realized that i am losing absolutely nothing when i “miss out” or block tumblr on my phone or what have you.

since starting working on my neocities site ive felt so much creative drive. ive created whole interactive essays and worlds and games and writings and so many things i could never host on social media. my website is a place of my very own, and ive been learning the value of focusing on what i put out into the net compared to what i take from it. its made me feel so much more fulfilled when i spend time online.

and let's not forget about staff. i have broader issues with how automattic in particular has gone about running the site. the ads only took up more and more of the dashboard, and every month it felt like there was some new paid feature doomed to never take off. all while the user experience gradually degraded. using the site without browser extensions to fix the ui and block the ads and tumblr live and all the other shit they threw all over the place makes it look like its ridden with viruses, and i think the fact that its become so normalized to feel like we have to stay in spaces that become increasingly hostile to us, even while the internet is so vast, is really strange (i mean, i also thought that way at first). but Anyway. so much time and effort was spent on features no one liked or wanted in some desperate attempt to get a little extra money, while staff members get in public fights with users who complain about getting monetization shoved down their throat. its so openly pathetic. the merch store had mostly mediocre designs and the digital tumblrmart is absolutely full of useless digital goods with free alternatives. considering this is a userbase that gladly donates to other sites donation drives for hosting costs (i.e. ao3, wikipedia, internet archive), i am shocked that staff never considered the obvious answer of a fucking donation drive once a year or so! the ceo telling people with concerns about the ads being unsafe for epilepsy to “just pay the ad free subscription” is one of the most disgusting things ive ever heard from someone officially representing such a platform. do not be fooled by the reputation tumblr has cultivated: all that it cares about is making money from you. tumblr is “in danger” because it can't turn a profit- because a profit is all they care about!

so why stay here when im happier elsewhere, apart from the addictive compulsion? that's what ive been thinking through for nearly a year, realizing that i have no reason to, and that weaning myself off of the addiction is in my best interest. i can create and blog and have fun online and connect with others and follow other peoples work all without the need for tumblr anymore! and i think id be all the healthier for it.

over the past year ive truly fallen in love with the internet again and ive loved putting myself out there, unrestrained in ways i havent felt since i was very young. but nonetheless ive learned a lot on tumblr, ive had some of the worst and best experiences of my online life, and i dont doubt that i would be a much different person if i had never been a tumblr user for as long as i was. but i had to break out of this shell eventually.

i keep going over this wondering how i can express every feeling in my head, how i can word everything just a little better, how i can make the perfect goodbye. but i think this will have to suffice.

you can still keep up with me online here:

-explore my website: i keep it consistently updated and im always adding new things and writing new posts on my blog! you can even speak to me directly on the site! if you sign my guestbook or use my chatbox ill try to respond :) if theres anything on this list you do id like it to be this one! i worked hard on it! you can even send me chat messages on my homepage! just keep in mind it may not display everything right on most mobile browsers, but it should be mostly navigable...

you can also subscribe to my rss feed. if you don't know what rss is, it allows you to use a feed reader to keep up with updates from sites all over the internet! my rss feed will notify you whenever ive made a new post on my blog or made an interesting edit on my site id like you to take a peek at :0 convenient, right?

you can also email me at wygolvillage@gmail.com to message me directly. if you prefer im also “wygolvillage” on discord

thank you and happy new years :) thanks for seeing me off as i sail to a new sunrise <3

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP37 SPOILERS!

im a bit late bc i was at work all day but time for ep37 reactions!! i cant believe its already here

- now ive heard everyone talking about the intro i bet its gonna be a rickroll or some shit

- ITS FUCKINF ALL STAR. I KNEW THEY WOULD PULL SOMETHING LIKE THIS

- A TEENAGE GIRLS PARENT JUST GOT SHOT AND KILLED AND UR PLAYING ALL STAR.

- hermie mention in the intro im so calm and cool and chill about this /j

- "ur enough as u are" AINT NO WAY UR ABOUT TO MAKE ME START CRYING OVER A PARODY OF SMASH MOUTHS ALL STAR. WHY DID U HAVE TO PULL OUT THE BIG GUNS

- I DONT WANT THE TAYLOR VOICE CHANGE GOD NO

- MATT IM SCREAMING

- WILL CAMPOS U ABSOLUTE MADMAN. i already knew he was gonna find a way around using revivify but THAT WAS WILD

- are people gonna start drawing normal w that piece of jewelry now. bc i wanna. i already like drawing him w bracelets

- oh god what is beths fact gonna be.

- "i just keep meeting all the right people at all the wrong times" BETH MAY U ARE EVIL. THE PLOT OF THIS EPISODE HASNT EVEN STARTED AND IM ALREADY EMO

- ITS STARTING. OH NO

- NICKY BETTER FUCKING SHOW UP im curious to see what they actually decided on for the reason for him not being there last episode

- HERMIE WAS REMEMBERED giggles and kicks my feet

- TAYLOR AND LINCOLN ARENT AWARE THAT TERRY IS DEAD RN.

- were getting terris reaction rn i cant believe this is happening

- IM starting to feel sick godddd

- i bet im gonna see art of the lincoln and taylor piggyback ride hehe

- OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD TERRIS ASLEEP THIS MEANS WERE GONNA GET SCARY BACK. ALSO IS SHE GONNA SEE WILLY OH NOOOO

- NO NO NO NO NONONO

- "theres my girl" STFUUUUUU

- DOES SCARY REMEMBER ANYTHING??? DOES SHE KNOW WHATS GOING ON????

- "just wake him up" I. HATE. THIS EPSIODE

- SCARY GETTING CHOKED UP I CANT DO THIS

- TERRY DIDNT EVEN NEED TO DIE FUCK THIS

- "whoooa shit thats fucked up!" anthony burch i know u are just so incredibly pleased w urself.

- SCARYS STILL PRETENDING LIKE SHE DOESNT CARE ABOUT TERRY. JUST FEEL UR FEELINGS GIRL GOOD GOD

- "EMBARRASSING"??? FOR A KID TO BE UPSET THAT ONE OF THEIR PARENTS GOT MURDERED???? WILLY STAMPLER WTF IS WRONG W U

- there was never a more obvious lie than willy saying hell revive terry

- 19 INSIGHT LETS GOOO

- THATS RIGHT SCARY. STAND THE FUCK UP TO HIM

- NORMAL DESPERATELY TRYING TO HELP AWWWW MAN :[[ I HATE THIS

- PUTS MY HEAD IN MY HANDS. THIS IS SO DEEPLY UPSETTING

- WHEN WE SAID WE WANTED MORE SCARY AND NORMAL INTERACTIONS WE DIDNT THINK ITD BE LIKE THIS!!!

- THE TWINS ARE HERE NOW OMG

- beth is out for fucking blood this episode. god she is so good at making the audience feel for her characters

- SHES TELEPORTING TO GRANT?? IM NOT READY YET

- "hes dangerous! get away from him!" THE FACT THAT THIS IS LINCOLN SAYING THIS ABOUT GRANT BREAKS MY HEART

- SCARY HAS A GUN FUCK YEAH!!!

- FIRST HERMIE SPEAKING LINE OF THE EPISODE YIPPEEEE

- halfway through the episode now. cant wait to see what could possibly go wrong next!!

- i love whenever anthony allows a fun rulebreaking idea to work

- IDK WHY THE IDEA OF THE KIDDADS HAVING A GC IS SO FUNNY TO ME

- rons status remains a mystery....

- "we could do a whole scene w just hermie and all the other ones" u joke matt but i enjoy every scene w hermie no matter how unnecessary and drawn out

- as always linc and taylor are such a funny iconic duo

- WERE FINALLY GETTING ANGRY NORMAL??? FINALLY????

- WILL WITHDRAWING HIS COOL MOVE LMAO

- i just realized WE STILL HAVENT SEEN NICKY!!! GODDAMN!!!

- "the gayest fucking mecha of all time" swiftli fans do u like the new ship name /j

- ig i cannot deny it anymore swiftli is practically canon atp

- NICKY!!!! NICKY!!!!! I SHOT STRAIGHT UP IN MY SEAT

- NICKY AND HERMIE ARE FINALLY INTERACTING. PRAISE THE LORD

- i thought nicky got all his limbs back?? did anthony just forget

- btw ive probably been waking up my whole house w how hard im laughing over swiftli this episode

- LINCOLNS GONNA PUNCH GRANT WHOA. WHOA

- "so what are u gonna do, ur gonna kill me?" as i said before. i hate this episode.

- SCARY OBLITERATED PAPA JOHN SO FAST WHOA.

- THE DUNGEON SETUP VS THE TONE OF THE EPISODE HELPPP

- i just had such a weird thought/prediction. but i will hold my tongue. bc the last time i said something like this it came true and i do not want this to come true

- IS SCARY GONNA BREAK IT W LOVE FOR TERRY. I CANT DO THIS

- "i love u and i hate that u made me love u when u are who u are and u knew it." I WISH U COULD SEE MY FUCKING FACE RN. HOLYYY SHIT THATS DEVASTATING

- oh. my. good. lord.

- GUYS????? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW. HOLY FUCK. THAT WAS HEAVY AS SHIT

[luckyqueenreign]

Ozzy obsessed anon here!

I’m soooooooo in love with how much Ozzy time we got but it has me worried. Either one of the new bombshells will be gunning for us or they will be going for the love interest we are going for. Or both. Or our love interest will be into one of the new bombshells. Idk what it is but something is going to be breaking how happy my Ozzy heart is rn! I don’t trust them not put some weird and/or angsty twists!

But like the fact Ozzy is always looking at us when he says something to see how we react and and in general like that shit was sooooo pure. THAT IS 1000%%% a pure crush and interest he has in MC. Like a gravitational pull towards MC! He tries so hard to be respectful but it’s like when he’s with MC who reciprocates his feelings he just can’t help but fall more and more and go with it. It’s like fate. 😏

It was nice to be able to actually be annoyed with Amelia about the bed and kiss thing. But what Amelia says and Ozzy says about Zeph don’t quite match up because the way Zeph talked to Ozzy about it is like there was not someone else and like he just left because his career was going so fast he got caught up in it and ghosted us. Amelia is lying abo it something. Cause if he was opening up why wouldn’t he tell Ozzy what happened. It’s not like Ozzy would be able to go tell anyone or us cause he didn’t know us. Then Amelia also being down and saying something about us always having a way with guys or something idk the exact quote but then looking sad after. She’s lying and hiding something. Maybe she secretly resents us because she wanted Zeph to be into her but he didn’t actually feel that way. What if she pretended to be us. 👀👀👀

Bestie!! LOVED the amount of Ozzy time we got this update but I 100% agree with u. I will say if you are signing up for the Ozzy route you have to expect some angst 😩!! personally I dont think we'll be able to couple up / be with Ozzy until after Casa Amor. So I think I've mentally prepared myself for that so Ive been able to manage my expectations. If the new islander comes in and pulls a S4 Tom where he steals MC in the next recoupling I actually think that Ozzy would be so upset about this, which for me is angsty GOLD lolol. Like I would die for Ozzy to pull us for a chat before the recoupling and tell us hes going to pick us only for Elliot to get a text saying he's first because he's the new islander. I want to see Ozzy's little face look at us super sad that he didnt get a chance to be with us 😭

Also yesssss ur so right Amelia and Zeph's stories dont entirely match up!!! Zeph didnt even mention another person !! we know there's something up about this prom night situation (im assuming zeph was involved here) and to me it seemed like the way Amelia was setting up the convo it looked like it was a confession of sorts. Amelia DEF resents us I picked up the exact same thing when she said something about MC always getting the attention or whatever it was. EEKKKKK if she pretended to be us its all gonna kick off and I cant wait lolol

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent / personal / s.i. / sh mention / long post / extremely negative dont read

I rly wanna fucking stop existing man life is too fucking hard I cant do this shit

My grandpa basically blamed me for the house's electricity usage when i literally only used my computer for one week last month and like 2 days this month. Anything else this month has just been phone charging or running my 2 small aquariums. Idk why i have to take the blame for that just because im a young person when my grandpa literally has been using large machinery in the garage and we rent out our guest house which has an a/c unit running ALL the time (our house does not have a/c or any internal system. Utilities are included in the guest house we rent so we pay for that person to stay cool while we sweat over here lmao.)

Ive been suffering for weeks in the 90-100 degree weather with no fan because my bathroom flooded due to grandpa installing the wrong fixture in my toilet (i literally only needed to replace the flap which required no disconnections! But he insisted, and now my only clean fan has been stuck in my bathroom with the window open letting in all the heat). Like. I enjoy the heat. Im fine with no ac. I tolerate it fine. But i need an occasional few minutes of being in the fan if the windows have been letting in all the heat. Normally id keep my blinds closed and the shower curtain closed so the heat doesnt get extreme but because i need to air out the bathroom i cant do that ((Literally when i lived in nyc w no ac, i would just go out to the living room and turn a/c on for like 1 minute while i stand in front of it, and then off again and i was fine for the rest of the night, i cant sleep with ac or a fan on or else i get hypothermic - i actually started getting hypothermic the other night because my blankets fell off the bed on a cooler night, it sucked lol))

Im so sick of having to wear shoes in my bathroom due to the carpet being pulled back, its uncomfortable to traverse that mess while having an injured back. Im sick of all the wildfire ash thats poured into my bathroom and probably my room too. (I had JUST changed my last air filter the day before the fire started lmao probably used up the whole thing already, i never got to keep my clean air room i had just started).

I had to deep clean the kitchen and deep vacuum the entire house with my back thats been injured since MAY since grandpa wont clean up after himself, and apparently my mom has also not been cleaning for years in her room (and my mom has the nerve to judge me for having a clean but cluttered room! Its her fault its cluttered because im not allowed to have anything of mine except food downstairs!). I havent been able to get treatment for my back because my mom has the only car and shes been out of town for the past month+.

Im fucking scared as fuck because i couldnt get ahold of a doctors office for a prescription for my endo and so now ive been having to take the leftovers i had of a lower dose. I live in a dead zone so a lot of the time i cant make phonecalls, idk if the issue was my end or the doctors and im just too stressed to try again bc if i think ab endo im gonna have a mental breakdown, its already bad enough having EXTREME phone anxiety due to not being able to understand people when they talk especially over a garbled phone connection. Im supposed to quit this med at the end of the month and idk how im gonna survive. I might not. I was completely su// ici// dal during the last couple flare ups. Endo is incurable and apparently im resistant to medication and surgical treatment. So its untreatable for me too.

Then theres my whole depression. This just fucking kicked off a really terrible mood swing and ive been like crying and moping in bed for hours trying NOT to think about where i know the things i used to s.h. before are packed. Bc that hasnt ever stopped being on my fucking mind since before i even started as a teen lmao. I cant stop thinking about how im existing against my will. Theres just no good way to die. Id feel guilty too because of how expensive my jaw treatments are and i havent even finished.

Speaking of, my jaw is still fucked and not getting any better lmao. Im in constant pain and headaches because of the aligners on my teeth. Im making myself sick from eating depression foods because by the time i take the things off my teeth to eat and drink, my mouth hurts, my jaw hurts, my head hurts, my tummy hurts, and after i eat anything i feel sick and tired and lightheaded from not being able to snack or drink when i want at my own pace, and then suddenly having to eat a whole meals worth of food in one sitting. (Not that i do that lmao ive been eating really lightly bc i am not physically up to the task of cooking or eating anything. I CAN cook. Just not physically, or mentally any more). So ive been eating terribly within my already limited diet. (And my jaw wont stop popping and cracking painfully every time i chew anything which is so humiliating and frustrating and painful and i cant eat a lot of foods i used to.)

There just too much going on all at once and im fucking sick of everything. I was already at my fucking limit before my mom fucked off to do pet sitting for a relative and went back on her word that she'd bring the dog to stay at our house. Which means ive gone since May without treatment for my back except for the chiropractor i see right after my therapy appointment. Which i dont think is doing enough. I dont know what more can be done when i constantly have to do back breaking things around the house. And when i told my mom ab how im not able to get the care i need because of her leaving, she turned it on me and said it was my fault for not making an appointment. Fucking gaslighting asshole. How the fuck am i supposed to get to an appointment 30-40 minutes away when i dont have the car? (Because theres no where local that will take my insurance, and i dont think even the places 30-40 minutes away will take it either.)

I dont know how anyone manages to live. Just existing is constant pain due to fibromyalgia and arthritis. Its constant hypervigilance and fear from the endo. Its extreme treatment-resistant depression (i fucking wish antidepressants worked on me lmao but that was the most miserable 5 years of my life trying every class of them). Its gender dysphoria and i cant transition because i cant work or live independently (its not safe for me to come out or transition while living in grandpas house hed kick me out). Its loneliness because i have like 2 friends i occasionally talk to online but no one close and were not on the same circles even, not like i even have a stable internet connection to do anything more than just over messaging. I dont have the mental energy to be friends w anyone either bc i have nothing to offer. Existing while alive is a full time job with no pay or benefits. I dont even know anyone irl thats not relatives (im not close with anyone in my family at all) or a doctor. I dont have a license or car because family wouldnt let me practise when i did have permits and i certainly can't afford the $12k a year it costs to own a car in Cali, let alone to purchase one. I cant work but im not disabled enough to be legally disabled. Certainly wouldnt be able to afford to live in this area/county even if i could do some work beyond an occasional online resale, which sucks because this is where my tribe is and i just wish this area was a better fit for me. Just doing things around the house is what caused my back to go out in the first place and now its a chronic fucking issue, and i can barely walk to the mailbox or do grocery shopping. Its not safe for me to live alone either, probably, even tho i cant handle living with roommates because im too asocial for them.

Im so sick of everything. Why do i have to be blamed for the electricity. Im an artist and apparently using the skills i spent 4 years learning at college and countless hours improving on my own is using too much electricity if i turn on my computer to participate in a week of a drawing challenge. What if i had a fucking work from home job?? (Not like that would ever happen, grandpa wouldnt choose the cheaper and faster internet plan i told him to go with and instead chose a more expensive plan with a different company that has a data cap, so now it sucks for no reason other than that he doesnt want to take advice from either a woman or a young person! [Im not a woman but he doesnt know that]). I cant even try to apply for any kind of work from home job bc of the internet. Its hard enough trying to make a call over data, having to put it on speakerphone and reach my phone against my room window while i lean over the counter. I was already unemployed before the pandemic due to the same mental health issues i havent stopped suffering from.

I wish that i wanted to live and do better for myself but whats the fucking point any more. I dont even want to live. I have no fucking reason to. At all. Im only alive bc there's no good way to die. Every day i think about how much i wish i didnt exist. It sucks and theres no fucking treatment that works. Therapy probably helps but its not making improvements for me when there are too many things out of my control making my life completely fucking miserable, its just damage reduction at this point.

I even exercise. Often. Despite the pain in my back and everywhere else. It does not help when i have fibromyalgia. Im in extreme pain even with the lightest exercise. But ive been exercising since the last endo flare up in fucking march in the hopes itll make my next endo flare up a little less worse if im stronger. Who knows if its working. Guess ill find out after the end of this month. God im so fucking scared.

I dont want to do anything rn im just so fucking miserable. But now my room is heating up since its the end of the day and im sweating too much to keep lying in bed being miserable. Idk what im gonna do. Besides ignore the ideation and knowledge about where my sharp objects are. I was working on sewing but i lost steam because of grandpa blaming me for the electricity sending me down a spiral. As if im not already doing enough cleaning up the whole fucking house and trying to prevent mold growth from the leak he caused and then laughed it off and wouldnt help me move (not my) furniture to prevent water damage.

Fuck i still have to measure the carpet padding so i can buy more later. At least the carpet itself is safe. Its getting dark out and i threw that padding shit outside and forgot about it last week so i dont wanna deal with measuring that right now. Ugh.

What do i even do when im too fucking depressed to do anything at all?? No one fucking prepares you for how fucking miserable being alive actually is.

[presleyluvschris]

Hey I got a request for jj I understand if u don’t want to do it

so you are jj sister u are about 15 and one day you stared to have these pains turn out u was pregnant and u was in labour and u was worried u was that jj was going to be mad at u and when u had the baby and took it home u was worried u was going to be a bad mum so jj and John b started helping witt the baby and they started to Noticed you’ve been distance and they comforted u when u told them everything 

morning sickness

brother!jj x pregnant!sick!sister!reader

a/n: im not used to having the reader in no romantic/sexual relationship with the pairing, this probably sucks and i think i fucked up the ending so bear with me.

word count 2.1k

warnings: not proof-read, teenage pregnancy, grammar, swearing, a little angst, mentions of throwing up, labour, a twist?

summary: reader gets pregnant ➢ 𝑵𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑮𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵

"pope," you plead, "give me back my shoe."

you reach on your tiptoes to grab it from his hand.

"please." you beg, jumping up and swinging your arm into the air.

he giggles and maneuvers it around until you finally snatch it from his hand.

"peice of shit," you grumble, raising your knee to slip your shoe back on, over your heel.

"hey guys," john b comes in through the screen door, "everyone on for the party tonight?"

you groan, laying your arms on the counter.

"john b my entire body hurts, especially my abdomen." you sigh, "is that what you call it? ab-do-me-"

"oh my god, fine, just stay here." he rolls his eyes, "fine by me, i wont have to babysit you."

you furrow your eyebrows and make a pouted expression, "but then i'd be alone."

he looks around the room sarcastically, "no shit! you're 15!"

he sighs and rubs his eye before locking his expression on your puppy eyes, "cant you handle one night alone with a bottle of advil?"

"yes, okay, fine asshole, i'll be here," you groan.

JJ comes up from behind you and tosses john b a loaf of bread over your head.

"i'll stay with you, bug."

"really??" you grin, looking up at JJ

"yeah its fine, i got wasted yesterday anyways. i dont think i can handle another hangover. and thats coming from me, princess."

"see?" john b raises his eyebrows, "problem solved."

he nods his head and picks up two large coolers before kicking the screen open with his foot and shifting out of the doorway, pope following behind.

you sigh and shift your attention to your brother. "bird piss is gone, what should we do?"

he hums, "we could watch a movie."

you huff in your cheeks, "m'kay. what kind?"

"i don't know, what do you watch these days?" he asks, sitting in john b's couch.

"how about the hangover? you could fantasize about getting drunk and having a big dick."

his mouth drops open, "how do you know about that movie?? and i do have a big dick!"

"mm, ive been scarred once," you press your lips together, "tell that to your girlfriends."

he puts his neck foward, "like kie? we only kissed once, and that was like 8 months ago."

you roll your eyes, "yeah right. kie's too much of a freak to kiss someone once."

he punches your arm and you swat him back.

"kie's not a freak..she just has like- sex appeal." he looks around the room nervously.

"oh my god just turn on the movie already, i want to see some hot middle aged men."

he snorts and you kick his leg in annoyance.

you giggle as the movie starts, and JJ gets up to get popcorn.

about five minutes in, you feel a sharp pain in your belly

you whimper, and your brother is the first to notice.

he sets the bowl down and sits back down next to you, "whats wrong, bugs?" his hand on your back.

"i-i don't know! my stomach- it really hurts."

JJ starts to panic. "shit, shit shit," he gets up, "stay right here i'll go get pope." he runs out of the chateau.

you groan loudly in pain as you clutch your stomach, bending yourself over, trying to breathe in and out, as you felt yourself in a panic attack, did i forget to take a pill? your eyes fill with water. JJ is going to kill me. oh my god oh my god.

JJ is back with pope a couple of minutes later, and you are practically shaking out of your mind.

"what the hell is going on?" pope comes in the living room, kneeling by you.

"oh, princess." JJ. holds you in his arms, trying to soothe you to get yourself to stop shaking.

"jayge it reslly burns," you sob, "it burns JJ!" tears stream down your face as he holds your head to his chest.

"okay, alright, shhhhh." he rocks you slowly back and forth, and glances at pope.

"do you think her kidneys failed or something?" pope asks, nervously biting his lip and looks at JJ.

"i don't know," he whispers, trying to calm you down.

pope calls 911 and the ambulance carries you out of JJs arms and onto a stretcher.

JJ doesn't cry much but seeing you in this much pain, made his throat clog up in a ball of anger.

once your brother, john b, kie, pope, and sarah made it to the hospital, JJ came in to hold your hand in room 208 as the doctors talked with John B.

you were no longer in pain but you felt exhausted from the medicine they held you under. you layed your head against the pillow and stared at the wall while all the pogues were by your side. Sarah was crying and kie was trying to comfort her.

soon john b returned in your room and carefully shut the door behind him, a blank expression on his face as he takes a seat next to everyone else, all staring at him in confusion.

"so??" kie asks, her hands folded to her chest, "whats wrong with her?"

he purses his lips and exhales, leaning in the back of the chair and rubbing his face with his hands.

"i don't know-- they said they ran x-rays and y/n's 9 months out pregnant."

"WHAT?!" JJ yells, his mouth open as you flinch. "NINE MONTHS?" he screams, "HOW?"

"WHEN, WHERE? HOW? WHO?" JJ holds his hands in his hair, ready to kill and beat the shit out of who ever dickless bastard knocked you up.

John B is weirdly quiet, in shock, almost. he looks at the floor and swallows. He can't even make eye contact with you.

no one is answering JJs question and everyones eyes are on you, making tears run down your cheeks. everyone probably hates you.

pope shakes his head,"we never saw a bump, JJ, i don't know how we could have known."

you whimper from crying, you knew you had sucked in your stomach for 9 months and you knew you had drinks since then with the pogues, too. you we're screwed at there was nothing to be done.

JJ notices your tears and tries to hold himself back from bursting out of the room, but his strokes your arm to let you know as a gesture he wasn't mad at you.

John B's eyes go towards you, he knew he had hooked up with you almost a year ago by mistake.

"what do we do?" sarah asks, biting the edge of her nail. she knew about her ex's hookup with you and she swore to never tell anyone, and she didnt.

John B shakes his head as he sits next to you, "we can't file for abortion, its illegal here, and besides, we can't kill it."

everyone gives john b a look, they knew what he was admitting but no one wanted to say anything yet.

unaware, JJ is staring at the floor. "its up to y/n."

you shake your head and wipe your tears from your face, "i wanna keep it." you sniffle, "of course i want to keep it."

john b hisses in anxiety, scrunching his eyes and tilts his head at the ceiling.

you feel pains again and everyone panics as the doctors order for everyone to step away, JJs eyes are worried as they lead you in a seperate room.

they ordered everyone to stay outside in the waiting room, except for john b.

everyone watches him leave, and JJ catches on that john b had been the one to get you pregnant.

JJ is angrier than he has ever been in his life. pacing the floor again, holding his hand to his chest while all the pogues try to comfort esch other.

JJ hated himself for not noticing anything before, he hated himself for letting you drink beer at parties, he hated himself for not being there with you while you were having a baby. You were his only biological family.

in another room, you scream and moan in pain as john b puts his hand on your shoulder.

"keep pushing, you're doing great." he adds, holding his breath.

you groan loudly, holding on to the sides of the bed as tears streamed down your face.

the doctors call codes, getting the baby out and taking care of the wounds while you lay there, a mask over your face, a complexion wet from tears.

John B is at a loss for words to comfort you.

an hour later, they put you in a more comfortable room to be stable in, as you were now able to be visited.

JJ bursts through the door, carefully wrapping his arms around you.

sarah has her head in her hands as all the pogues stare at you breathing, your vials in your arms, only a faint sound of beeping from the monitor.

a while later, they bring a nurse holding your baby in a pink knitted blanket, removing your mask, as another nurse helps you sit up.

you shakily breathe and look at your daughter in your arms, the baby crying as you slowly rock it back and forth.

you wipe your face, and press a kiss to her forehead.

John B looks at you, "what are we going to name it."

you shake your head, "i never thought of a name."

JJ is giving John B the death stare but doesn't want to upset you by holding him against a wall and beating the shit out of him.

all of you make your way out of the hospital after signing papers, while everyone walks out into the parking lot with you.

sarah his holding the baby in her arms, rubbing your arm.

"john b..." kie looks at him while walking towards the twinkie, noticing his gesture. "what the fuck."

JJs eyes dart towards him, and stops walking as he kicks a rock to a car.

you flinch at his actions before he advances towards john b and punches him across the face, leaving him on the floor with a bloody nose.

Pope tries to seperate JJ from him, but JJ pushes him to the side, kie grabbing his arm to pull pope from the situation.

"you fucking touch my sister?" he holds his shoulders and kicks john b's dick inside him three times.

you sob in your hands as JJ beats him, while sarah holds you.

your brother drops him back to the floor, sarahs hands over her mouth.

he backs away from john b, heavily breathing.

no one says anything, kie swallows. they all knew john b deserved to be beaten by your brother but nonetheless was it hard to watch.

"

sarah was furious at john b but she stayed silent on the drive home. JJ had no intention of being able to even look at his best friend.

you held your baby in your arms, your heart filling with love for her.

when everyone made it back to the chateau, and out of the van, JJ took the baby and put it in his arms with you sitting by his side.

sarah was also right next to you, the rest of the pogues talking on the porch, including john b.

he notices you are acting distant from him.

JJ wraps an arm around you, "i'm not mad, okay?" he sighs, "im just mad at jb, and that you hid something like this for so long."

you nod your head, "im sorry."

"you're extremely lucky that this baby didn't have any issues from drinking." he raises his eyebrows.

"i know." tears fill your eyes, as they stream down your cheeks, "i didn't want to jj! i felt like he pressured me into it, and i dont even know how im going ti handle being a mother on my own at my age i-" you sob into his chest.

JJ holds you closer, "shhhh, its all going to be okay, luvs." he strokes your hair, "i promise we will take it day by day, together."

he intertwines his pinky into yours. "pinky swear."

you wipe your eyes, sniffling, "thank you, jayge, for everything."

"of course, bugs. you're gonna be a good mama. if its anyone that could do something like this, its you."

you smile as tears fill your eyes again, "thank you."

he nods, fixing his backwards hat, "we're going to show this little girl that she is loved no matter what." he wipes a tear that fell from your eye with his thumb.

you nod and stroke the baby's head with your thumb softly.

"i think i wanna name her aria," you breathe.

he grins, "i think thats a beautiful name, y/n."

you tilt your head to look at him and nod, "me too."

"what will jb think?" you ask, worried if you should even talk about it with him.

he sighs, and tries to swallow, "im going to beat his ass more later."

he looks down at you, getting up and taking the baby from your arms.

"for now you need to get a lot of rest and pope and i will go shopping later." he raises his eyebrows, and puts his hand on the top of your head before walking away.

you knew that it had been a long year and you had made some mistakes in the past, but you were glad your brother and john b (eventually) would take care of you and your baby, and that everything would be okay for now.

tags @chachachannah 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ♡

[soularsss]

I want to SHARE my story plans with you guys because you will be the ones reading it at some point, under the cut because I yapped

anyways my VAGUE plan rn is to start off with "prologue" chapters for Mei and Law, before any of the real shit kicks off. Keep in mind im the furthest thing from a writer and illiterate asf so idk why im even doing this (i do know why. Its because I think my ocs are cool and I want to share them and their stories) ANYWAY

My thoughts for their intro stories and pretty basic right now but for Mei:

Im thinking it will either focus around her being given her battalion, or her padawan. Maybe both? Because then we get to see her get her figurative baby and her literal baby (perhaps i will go Mei, Law, Mei again with the chapters actually.. guys we are live theorycrafting rn omg welcome to my brain) ANYWAY jesus soulars stay on track

Laws prologue: I want it to be the day his battalion gets handed to Mei (He was originally under Windu and they become a splinter batallion under Mei when she gets knighted at the beginning of the war (i think.. I havent actually thought that hard about Meis timeline but i think it very roughly works out lol)) This is the story ive thought more about, itll be a very down to earth perspective of his going ons and the mission, how he's uncertain when it comes to working under a new general, and seeing him just quietly go mental when his work day goes from structured and smart to.. seriously? we have one plan? go straight in headfirst? every. single. time...? (i never said Mei was a GOOD general) I dont want to spoil what happens too much because then its boring but there will be a bit of a shift towards the end

IN REGARDS TO MY OTHER CHARACTERS

I want this story to be kinda intertwiney, like if you saw my screenshot from the other day, chapters focused on characters who will at certain points in the timeline cross over, and then major events happen or just hey omg thats the guy i was just reading about in an earlier chapter!! (you know kinda how game of thrones does it)

Mav will probably show up or at least be mentioned in Meis first chapter, but I dooo also want to write him a prologue of his own at some point because he has some interesting backstory

Reave, Nem, and Taria will come in later down the line, as they are set in the inquisitorious/rebels time, but Mei and Law do both spend time in the fortress, so perhaps there will be some brief mentions before they come in full force

Tepla and Jiyo! will be prettty seperate, but tied to the main cast through the 100th battalion, because of a certain pining clone trooper. there will be a lot of pining.

anyways apparently its easier for me to type out the base ideas in a tumblr post and ive been wanting to update you guys anyways so here!!! once artfight is over i will get to it, I am going to fly back to Aus for a few weeks sometime in august so either that will be prime writing time OR it will make me procrastinate more

tbh I still want to draw in more interest for my ocs before I start writing full on stories about them, I know its a bit of a foolish goal and i should just. start writing, but we'll see how things are in a couple months!

I was also wondering, (if any of you maniacs read this far) If I should post the prologues here on tumblr as well as Ao3? Ao3 is where I plan on posting the actual writing but perhaps it would do the story good to start here as well, but tbh thats out of my area of expertise lmao

I want my children to actually have real tangible stories one day :_: one day..

considering making one of those art reblog blogs because this place is getting up there in the chaotic factors??? ALSO good news. Ive started a google document. Ive written three words

update: thats actually 4 words

[kneehighcrocs]

i kinda wish sometimes that characters in shows that are outwardly bad ppl (bullies etc) stopped getting redemptions. bc when theyre “redeemed” ppl instantly forget every bad thing theyve done and how many ppl theyve hurt. and sometimes a character doesnt even need a redemption, bc ppl will ignore how terrible they are and completely shit on the whole character with a bunch of “omg no my little bean is such a tsundere theyre actually in love with the person theyre bullying” like ????

i think one example of this is boscha from toh, bc even after literally dumping garbage on her she is STILL shipped with willow. has she even made any effort to be nice to her? ever?? shes tormented her since she was around six, and ppl managed to dig deep enough to say its a relationship that should happen.

unlike amity, who has clearly made an effort and put in work to be better, towards willow and also just in general, boscha hasnt changed at all. shes still rude to willow, and its not a crowd-following thing either- even after willow is the focus of a small crowd, showing her in a positive light, boscha still picks on her anyways, ignoring everyone else. boscha is not in love with willow??

another example i think is alador also from toh. he may not be as bad as odalia, but hes only been making any kind of effort for abt seven episodes- that barely makes up for 14 years, right? im not saying hes not trying to be better, im saying that when ppl talk abt him they act like hes some hero, rebelling against his abusive wife to protect his kids, like hes been doing his whole life- he hasnt. amity says, after alador mentions the emperors coven, that “it was always moms dream, and you just went along with it.” i dont think he was opposed to the fact that odalia was controlling every aspect of his kids lives. i dont think he wouldve changed anything if amity hadnt spoken up.

while odalia is definitely worse than alador, ppl are so ready to forgive him that they forget that he cooperated with her.

ive kicked myself off now so im gonna keep ranting

bakugo from bnha. (may include spoilers here) i havent rly kept up with the show, but ppl treat him like royalty, and for what? hes not very directly a good person, bullying the shit out of deku since they were kids, to an extent that could honestly provoke legal action- he (iirc) literally threw his books off a roof or smth like that?? not to mention he basically told deku to khs, and until abt 16 has still been incredibly rude to him, and everyone else apart from his “one friend” kirishima, who hes still mean to occasionally.

ppl dont care abt his abusive past, and his relationship with his mother, bc the show kinda treats it like a joke and smth to be ignored bc “oh thats normal.” dont him and his mum literally hit eachother? if im remembering right, him and mitsuki got into an argument in abt five seconds, while his dad and all might (i think) just sat there, and his dad just brushed it off.

if any of thats incorrect im sorry but i havent watched the show or rly anything to do with it since like 2020

and billy hargrove from stranger things is another example, bc ppl seem to ignore his racism and abusive behaviour simply bc he died (and is also conventionally attractive, but thats a whole other rant). he was barely ever nice to max but ppl talk abt him like hes an angel bc he did one good thing.

[anotherhellchild]

Okay so Idk if u are busy cause as we all know the world is hell right now and school is a fucking nightmare but. I have a prompt for A BakuJirou Friendship Fic. It's pretty much a fleshed out Idea that I can't put into words cause I can't write for shit anyway here it is

Baku and Jirou chilling on Jirou's room (Brotp 4 life)-  she metions that she has a written song- Kids Again by Artist and Poet

She thinks it's missing something from the verses- it only has the girl's parts cause jirous a girl obvs

She thinks it needs more backing instruments

Asks Bakugou fpr help with drums cause we know he can play drums

Once he hears the song he says it needs piano (he can totally play piano, it would probs be good for the nerves in his fingers after all of the explosions) and another vocal/more verses

They write and brainstorm for a few hours or days

Thet don't know who to ask to sing the male parts

Jirou asks Baku to do them- he refuses a lot but gives- either through bribery or because he respects Jirou

Jirou shocked and personally betrayed that she didn't know Baku could sing this well (jokingly betrayed, not like this is gonna lead to an arguement)

The class finds them out- maybe Denki or Kiri could hear them.

They are all in shock that Baku can sing.

Could lead into a relationship fic- one of the class is in panic at how well Baku can sing (preferebly Kiri or Todo cause Kiribaku and Todobaku are my otps)

oooohhhh yesss!! u had me at BakuJirou!! (also quick disclaimer here: i know absolutely nothing about music or the process of making it or singing or anything even remotely close :D i sure as fuck am pretending that i do tho!)

(and yeah,, ive been gone for a bit now... sorry to everyone for that. just been really tired and drained lately,, schools kinda been kicking my ass and yeahh i wont start about it,, just sorry.  thanks for the ask tho! i appreciate people still coming here to talk even tho i haven’t rly been around )

ANYWAY

I love this idea! first off, i love the hc that baku can sing and that plus the bakujirou friendship is already great! 

i kinda imagine that the both of them are just chilling in jirou’s room and she casually mentions she’s been working on a song. so then baku obviously wants to hear it, jirou is kinda shy but eventually shows him what she’s got so far. 

now, baku being baku and all, keeps a poker face throughout the whole thing. (which makes jirou really anxious on the inside cause she cant tell what he’s thinking) But once he’s heard what she’s got so far he says its actually pretty decent (which is bakugou-speak for he likes it) 

they start discussing what could be added/ what could make it better or whatever 

baku adds drums and together they figure out the piano

after a day or two jirou suggests adding another voice and baku thinks thatll be good

the problem: who’s gonna do it?

after debating it for a bit- (mostly just them wondering if any of the boy’s in class even have the ability to sing and THEN wondering if jirou even has the nerve to ask them to help out)

-jirou eventually says something along the lines of: “well,we dont even know if it’d sound good in the first place so maybe you could just sing to test it out, then we’ll see after that.” 

bakugou does not agree

jirou offers him a free meal in exchange

bakugou finds that such an offer would be too wasteful to reject so he reluctantly agrees

now, jirou isnt expecting much at all. her goal here is not to find the voice for her song, its just to see if a male voice fits nicely. she’s kinda expecting some off key pitches and false notes, she figures she can just fix it up a bit with auto tune later. this is just a test after all.

but then. ohhohoo THEN.

bakugou sings, he fucking s i n g s

jirou is lucky she’s already sitting on the floor because she’d have been floored

she really was not expecting this, so much so that she’s literally frozen to the ground.

bakugou, who cannot handle compliments, kinda stares at her suspiciously when she tells him he’s amazing.

after the initial shock, a lot of grumbling, a lot of convincing (on jirou’s part), more grumbling and eventually another bribe; bakugou agrees to sing the other part of the song.

they work on it the rest of the day

that evening, jirou’s kinda humming the song out loud in the common area. people notice.

naturally, chaos ensues 

at least half of the class is around (baku included) they convince jirou to let them listen to the song (baku excluded, not that he minds tho. its her song)

theyre all very impressed and excited etc etc

someone wonders who the other voice was? it’s amazing just like jirou’s own!

jirou tells them its bakugou 

theyre all floored

literally frozen to the ground

literally frozen to the ground

seriously, there is ice at their feet.

Is.. todoroki.... blushing?!

[bookwyrminspiration]

oh gosh this is like the fourth ask ive sent you in maybe a few hours, but now im wondering how bronte was treated when he manifested as an inflictor. like. from what we know, there have been no other inflictors before or after bronte (until sophie) and like. it mustve been...pretty wild to develop an ability whose sole purpose is to hurt and inflict pain onto others in a society that is completely averse to violence.

and also i had a though recently- what if elves werent always averse to violence? weve had hints dropped that elves have done some pretty wild shit (i think theres a mention in a book somewhere that insinuates elves have a lot of power and have used it in battles before) and now im wondering if the damage caused by elven abilities getting out of hand led to the matchmaking system (in the way that the matchmaking would ensure that the "no violence" gene passed onto more people- and maybe it was even entirely artificial?) although im not too sure about that one.

BUT BACK TO BRONTE, i find it really interesting since like...i mean, people mustve done some studies on him, right? like, theyre not just gonna let a threat....wander around or something. especially depending on the age he manifested (and i dont think sophie unnaturally manifested her inflicting, so it seems to be brought upon by emotion and stress, which means that he couldve manifested at like. literally any age. i mean sophie was, what, really young? idk where im going with this since sophie's inflicting is artificial but yeah) so im just. what did they do????? i mean, there had to be something bronte was basing his lessons for sophie off of, so im assuming either he or others did some looking into how inflicting works, but honestly all the scenarios i can think of for that are. uh. kinda really awful?

idk where im going with this but. yeah. huh. thats a weird thing to think about. and something were never getting answers to. thats fun.

- pyro

(also it is very late so apologies for any misspellings and stuff!)

welcome back, pyro my beloved!! you're welcome to send as many asks as you want whenever you want--your insights are always fascinating

i feel like inflictors and mesmers might be treated similarly in elven society--grady did mention an interaction he had with Bronte where he received some advice about his ability once--because they hold a certain level of coercive power over others. it's like they're treated like a threat just because they have the potential to be one. the same way people assume grady mesmerizes others to get whatever he wants, they may assume Bronte would hurt anyone who doesn't give him what he wants, if that comparison makes sense

as for him being the only inflictor, we're left with the option that either he really is the only one, or there was someone else once who has since bit the dust, kicked the bucket, flown to close to the sun, some other strange idiom for dying. both have a lot of negative implications, but I'm gonna stick with the "he's the first and only" one for rn.

also, you're idea about elves not always being averse to violence prompts a lot of thought! what were they like before that? were there more volatile, destructive abilities? what was the world like back then that necessitated those abilities? what happened to those people and their abilities--i'm assuming they're dead now. and since elves are now averse to violence, those abilities are like dead abilities (like dead languages), as no one has them and no one will have them ever again. they're bodies couldn't handle it anymore.

kinda ties into the idea of matchmaking--although instead of the "no violence" gene I think they might've also tried to specifically keep the really powerful abilities from being passed on, things like Bronte's inflicting that appeared to be rooted entirely in violence. or! idea: what if there was something so horrific that happened as a result of elven violence that it permanently changed how they perceive it, becoming an instinctual need to get away from it. my brain is trying to relate this to the uncanny valley effect, like how it's this instinctual discomfort.

if i'm remembering correctly, sophie naturally manifested her inflicting when she was nine, so as long as bronte was stressed enough--and he wasn't living during a time of peace. i don't think the treaties had been established yet--he could reasonably manifest even younger. and this is an ability no one has seen before! here is this elven child, this small kid, just absolutely loosing it and hurting everyone around him. i think the only way Forkle got Sophie to stop was by inflicting back on her, but there wouldn't have been anyone able to do that for Bronte. I can't imagine he likes his ability, every time he's used it it's hurt someone. it was probably trial and error to teach him, maybe even him just abandoning what others were saying--because no one else had a violent ability and could understand--and just figured it out on his own. i'm fairly sure the knot of threads under the ribs trick Sophie uses is one Bronte developed himself, so I've just always thought he was using personal experience to teach her.

i also don't know where I'm going with this, but bronte as a whole is a very interesting character! there's so much about his backstory we don't know and probably never will. just inflicting as a whole stands out as an ability because it just doesn't make sense for an elf to have. if i don't stop now i never will, but those are some of my Thoughts !!