#i dont think it's there anymore SCREAM .... i loved it so much though
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looking on at the ✨hype✨ about last stage like
#i wanna be excited about it too!!!!! lemme in~~~~~~~~~~#maybe it’s just bc i didn’t listen to the ‘loid version on the koishiteru album but i think im not as excited about it as i should be lmaooo#on jp twt there are fans screaming about last stage and i. feel kinda left out ngl??? fomo’s hittin’ like a truck and idek w h y#but me? im just clinging to meoto to ✨carry on✨#idk why but it kinda sounds like that song aka***ki enstrs sang to beat r****ts to a pulp in the anime#i dont even like enstrs anymore so idk why that song was the first thing i thought of when i heard the preview help#in any case!!!!! i hope the rest of the new songs get mvs!!!! especially meoto!!!!!!!!!!!!#going by the love chuchuchu(chu! kawaikute gomen—) im p sure that’s gonna be the moge mv lol#wont be surprised if their outfits in the mv are the same ones that they’re wearing in the moge-ilustrated album standees…#if that is indeed how the oshi no mahou mv is gonna go… all of you will now owe me tree fiddy >:) if not nothing happens idk#im very much looking forward to seeing where the completely new direction of upcoming lxl songs is gonna take us though#(p r a y i n g for lxl falling for each other in 4k hd p ls—)#g o d i should really get some sleep my innate state of crabbiness is creepin’ in the tags here too aaaaaa
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i’m surprised no one has written a fanfic based on that kaneson netflix edit actually
omg im blushing ..... anon wrote a fic for me once that was loosely based around it i believe !! anon if youre reading this ilysm
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Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery
Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3
tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood
Bisuke: Gai's Back!
Gai: GRAAH!
Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,
Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?
Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.
Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then
Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!
Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry
Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.
Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.
Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners
Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it
Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...
Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.
Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"
Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]
Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?
Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken
Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that
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Suguru is a great cook.
You knew your boyfriend was capable of cooking just fine;after all,he survived all his days alongside Gojo,and didn't die from eating only sweets and junk. You'd even heard Shoko mention it offhandedly once.
"Suguru's alright i guess," she had said as she took a long drag of her cigarette, "i think he's improving too. But again, compared to that other idiot, anyone's a great cook."
And that was it. And although you guys have been going out for some time now, it had never crossed your mind to ask your boyfriend to cook for you. And even though you knew Suguru's good at everything he does,you never even guessed he'll be this good.
So he when one night,after a particularly rough mission which has your body sore,and a pained hiss escaping your lips everytime you make a sudden move,you find yourself being carried inside Suguru's small apartment. And if you were in your right mind;and not high on the painkillers Shoko had given you,you would've gotten slightly flustered,just like you always do when you go to his house.
But you're not in your right mind,and your body screams in pain when he settles you gently on the couch;pulling the comforter up your shoulders. Suguru rests his hands on his hips,and upon a full glance at you,he lets out a heavy sigh.
He looks worried; guilty that he wasn't there to help you.
"honey," you call weakly, fidgeting with the loose strand of the comforter and trying for a faint smile, "I'm alright. Please don't make that face."
Sugura sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.
"you know i hate it when you get hurt."
"but you saved me, didn't you?"
And by the way he clenches his jaw,you know what he's thinking.
I was late.
"hey," you call out with a smile;eyes softening upon seeing his troubled face, "how about you cook me dinner then?"
Because that's how Suguru Geto is;caring and protective. His love is like a gentle river; soothing and calm. And you know if you dont let him do something for you tonight,he might as well forget all about sleeping for a few nights.
So you shift, trying to hide your wince and give him a sweet smile.
"i want dessert too!"
At that,Suguru finally chuckles and nods his head;his face has relaxed slightly and his eyes look calmer.
"alright, darling," he leans foward to fix the blanket around your shoulders; dropping a loving kiss to your forehead, "whatever my baby wants."
So you get comfortable while Suguru busies himself in the kitchen. The TV is showing some kind of competition show,and after half an hour, you find yourself dozing off; probably the painkillers Shoko had given you were starting to kick in. And between the gentle humming of your boyfriend,and the way his scent engulfs you,your eyelids become heavier and your breath starts to even out
You don't know how much time has passed,but you flutter your eyes open,and watch Suguru brushing your hair out of your eyes with a gentle smile. His hair is out of his usual bun,and he looks so soft in his simple white t-shirts and sweatpants. Still dazed from sleep,you reach out and brush your fingers against his high cheekbones.
"hey pretty," his voice is soothing, gentle;as if he's afraid to startle you awake, "dinner's ready."
And when he sits down next to you, holding the spoon out in front of your mouth,you dont bother to keep your eyes open anymore.
That is,until you taste his cooking on your tongue.
Immediately,your eyes snap open,and you whip your head in his direction with blown out eyes.
"you," you swallow your bite and hold your hand in front of your mouth, "you made this?"
It must be the surprised look on face that has Suguru laughing;his eyes crinkling happily.
"that good?"
"its fucking amazing!what do you mean, 'good'?"
You open your mouth eagerly when he feeds you another spoonful,and close your eyes with a loud moan.
"oh my gosh!why have i been missing out on this?!" You give him a teasing glare, "bet you cooked alot for your boyfriend."
"first of all,dont call satoru that;it creeps the hell out me," he lightly nudges your shoulder with his;his smile the softest thing ," second of all,you never asked."
"i never knew you could cook!"
"so," he raises a brow, "you automatically thought I'm a horrible cook?"
"well,i mean,Satoru can't."
Suguru lets out a loud laugh at that.
"that's because he cant cook for the life of his. Besides,he thinks he can live longer with just sugar." He raises the spoon again,and when you giggle,he leans and kisses your full cheek, "but if you like it that much,then I'll be happy to always cook for you."
You stare at Suguru's dark eyes;his young face and sweet smile. The TV is showing some kind of commercial in the background, your body isnt hurting as much as before,and your belly is full of homemade meal. The heat coming off your boyfriend is enough to make your eyes flutter,and a happy smile settles on your lips.
You let out a content sigh,and rest your head on Suguru's shoulder.
"I'll take you up on that offer then."
And as you begin to doze off,you feel his lips pressing gently to the top of your head.
"with pleasure, princess."
*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘
A/n : canon world?i dunno what you're talking about <( ̄︶ ̄)> Suguru's living healthy and happy with the people he loves and he teaches at jujutsu high with Satoru ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
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https://www.tumblr.com/poppy-metal/759280992988119040/httpswwwtumblrcompoppy-metal7592785339693137?source=share
Thats a good way of putting it, i love your mind poppy
I was wondering does reader have this perspective yet, like she has the understanding while theyre fucking or does it sink in later as she navigates this new relationship with tashi included as she is opening up to her?
yes, she's aware! she's more than well aware her brother has fallen in love with tashi - she hates it even more because she actually likes the woman. makes fucking art behind her back all the more guilt ridden - it doesn't happen as often as you'd wished it would when you thought about art being married. you thought you'd be having him fuck you everyday under his wife's nose. but sometimes you can't bring yourself to betray her trust. but sometimes you just need art so much - and he never turns you down when you come to him - even though you know he hates being unfaithful, when he's inside you it's like it's just the two of you in your own little world.
and youve honestly been trying to move on - you've been dating guys more frequently, though you don't tell art this. it still feels like cheating to you even though he's married - you just think the sooner you can hurry up and fall in love with someone else, or even just find someone good enough to pretend with, the sooner you can leave art behind and stop being a burden.
tashi making art fuck you in front of her was a suprise - but you were very overwhelmed in the moment with lots of emotions and didn't really process the power play at hand. you still think you're gonna be in trouble after, that art is gonna tell you you need to stop contacting him and coming over so much - that that was the last time - that tashi will kick you out of her home for good.
you don't want to have the talk afterwards that's probably necessary. you feel like a slut and a horrible person and like a rock in their marriage that could be smooth if you weren't bogging art down so much. you dont talk that night, anyway. art is always tired after sex, and he falls asleep easily between you and tashi. she doesn't ask you to leave the bed, either, so you just stay awkwardly. but when she falls asleep too, you sneak out of their bed and leave.
you sit on the floor of your shower at home while the water pours over you as you let your brothers cum flush out of your body - thinking it'll be the last time it's ever placed there. he should be coming in his wife, not his sister.
when you get out and your fingers are pruned you text tashi that sex with art will never happen again, and that you're sorry for being a problem, but you won't be anymore. you'll move on and let her have art to herself. you won't even put up a fight, which is odd, because you always thought you'd kick and scream to stay by arts side.
maybe it's a sign of maturity that you aren't. it just hurts too much.
you've been enough of a burden on your brother - making him play the role of brother, father, and lover all at once. let him have his own life now. let him grow up, finally. have a family.
on tashis end - it's not what she wants. but she's never been one to baby someone else, and she recognizes you hiding. she leaves you on read - it's not your decision to make, really. so she doesn't even entertain you.
she'll have to speak with art more in depth. he can't get you pregnant - and she might need you to get a husband just to keep up appearances on the outside, but on the inside - she doesn't mind art continuing to fuck you. he needs you. she thinks he might actually cease to exist if you weren't in his life.
a relationship between you and tashi would be slow going, but definitely inevitable. you relish in her power too much - she likes the look of your body, and you like the look of hers. maybe a time will come where art is the one in the chair watching his wife fuck his sister, instead.
lots of chess peices to move.
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"But Daddy I Love Him!" ~ (lip gallagher x fem!reader's version)
sum! "But Daddy I Love Him!" Taylor swift - The Tortured Poets department.
tw! FACEBOOK... toxic family, mention of having a baby, swearing ig (again its shameless)
uhm this is gonna suck! I have no clue what I'm doing! ok days later n the middle/ending is very sloppy i feel like. idk i kinda dont like it.
"I forget how the west was won, I forget if this was ever fun, I just learned these people only raise you to cage you"
You and Lip were fighting again. You hadn't been getting along as much anymore, you were getting closer to your two year mark too.
No one in your family liked the Gallaghers to begin with, so you couldn't complain to your family (siblings, cousins, whoever). The one who disapproved of your relationship the most though? Your father. Your father hated the relationship you had with Lip. He thought he was going to use you for money, your body, etc. He just knew Gallaghers were usually up to something, so he didn't approve of this relationship as soon as you told him.
Except with how much you and Lip were arguing now, it's hard to remember all the fun you would have. It's like a distant memory that you forget was a dream or not.
"Sarah's and Hannah's in their sunday best, Clutching their pearls, Sighing 'What a mess', I just learned these people try and save you ... cause they hate you"
Your family wasn't just rude to him, you as well. It was a bunch of rich snobs, and if something hadn't gone their way then get rid of it.
They hated you for even being in the vicinity of someone 'lesser' than them. Because god forbid you bring normal people into the wretched family of yours. Your cousins and extended family were known to gossip about others in the family, and right now you were the hot topic.
"too high a horse, for a simple girl to rise above it, they slammed the door on my whole world, the one thing I wanted"
It was an accident. Sort of. With how complicated you and Lip were right now you had changed your relationship status to "it's complicated". Not thinking about how public your page is to your very judgemental family. Lip did the same so he wasn't necessarily mad. All of your cousins, aunts, etc. were messaging you asking what happened, trying to get as much information as they could. It was all fine until your dad texted you.
"Come home."
Oh god. You could feel your stomach doing flips inside of you. You knew what he was going to say. 'You need to break up with this boy if it's to the point you're both telling the entire world how complicated your relationship is right now'. You went over there with the full intent to defend yourself and your boyfriend.
"Now I'm running with my dress unbuttoned, Screaming 'But Daddy I Love Him!' I'm having his baby. No, I'm Not, but you should see your faces"
You got to your parents house and your dad started saying the exact things you thought he would.
"If you're sharing your relationship vis-à-vis the internet than I do not think this relationship should go on." Your dad kept repeating this in different wordings time and time again.
"Dad, me and Lip are just arguing like normal couples do. All you do is talk about how I should break up with him and that he is horrible for me." You snap at him, finally.
You continue your rant, "It isn't up to you to decide for me whether my boyfriend is good for me or not. I'm an adult and I can figure my love life out for myself. He has done nothing but be kind to all of you and get on your good side, but all of you are too snobby to understand that!"
You have to take a break to breath.
"I'm having his child. Not now... but eventually." As you said this they're faces were all filled with shock. Some of them had concern written all over there face.
"I'm telling him to floor it through the fences. No, I'm not coming to my senses, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want"
"I know none of you like him, but I see a future with him. But if you never learn to accept none of you will be apart of this future." God, it felt good finally standing up for yourself in front of your family.
Instead of waiting for them you got up and left. Not wanting to here what kind of excuse he's going to make for himself.
"Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid, tendrils tucked into a woven braid, growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all."
Your way back home had you thinking about your childhood and how you grew up. If there so against difference, and all of your other family is, why were you taught different?
It can't be because of school because you went to school with some family that acts the same as them.
Maybe because you had friends that were in south side? They were friends with the private school's principal and they were able to get in free of cost. You would go over to their house sometimes and it wasn't a huge clean house in a nice pretty neighborhood. Maybe that's why you weren't born to be a horrible person and you actually got to learn about people who weren't as lucky as you.
Which also means from a young age you were already more mature than your entire family.
"He was chaos, he was revelry, Bedroom eyes like a remedy."
You got back to the house and saw Lip on the couch. You went inside and sat next to him. At first he didn't say anything to you. Until he couldn't just not speak.
"Where'd you go?" He mutters, not looking at you still.
"Parents." You answer him almost instantly, looking at him.
He nods, knowing what this is about.
"So, they knock some sense in ya? You dumping me?" He rubs his face and the looks at you.
You snicker, "You must know absolutely nothing about me if you think I'm listening to my parents?"
He smiles and chuckled (i'm thinking of the lil breath through the nose laugh that no one knows what to call...) he knew how stubborn you were when it came to your parents.
"Soon enough the elders had convened, down at the city hall, 'stay away from her', the saboteurs protested too much"
Your family had been trying to text you. Some to apologize, some to try to talk out out of being mad, some to get gossip, the others still trying to get you to break up with him.
Your father had compared you to a '"rebelling teenager" because of how you're acting? You and Lip had stopped arguing for now.
Every time they reached out to him to talk to you through him, he would tell them to stop, "leave her alone", or block them. He was sick of how they treated you and him too.
Almost all of your family was blocked now, because they all decided to text you. The only people you couldn't bring yourself to block were your parents. Even though they were the ones laying it on the strongest. Your mom kept apologising but your dad was saying the same things as before.
"Lord knows the words we never heard, Just screeching tires and true love"
God this whole situation felt like a movie or a taylor swift song. It was ridiculous. Everyone's actions were childish and obnoxious.
You and Lip haven't been arguing in a while, because your attention was on other things at the moment. You two had actually been more romantic. You both have put your status back to normal. Yet, nothing in your life was back to normal.
"I'll tell you something right now, I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning"
This had been going on for over a month now. It was just annoying and obnoxious now. Lip knew you defended him and this is why this is still going on. No doubt about this. Except now he was having to deal with you being: bitchy, exhausted, or just annoyed.
It was affecting him now, and he was starting to get pissed.
"I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace, I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empaths clothing"
"Your parents have been talking to Frank about us. Frank was asking me about you." Lip said through gritted teeth and a scowl, he had been walking inside while I said that.
You roll your eyes and respond in an almost whiny voice, "Please tell me your joking. They have gone way too far with this. First they tell my entire family and now they start on yours?"
"God save the judgemental creeps, Who say they want what's best for me, Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see"
The texts were all the same from your mom and dad.
"We just want what's best for you, and he isn't it!" They would say. Over. And over.
It was so repetitive, you had to block them. Not everywhere just where they would text you the most.
"Thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me, And counteract chemistry, And undo the destiny"
I swear if you never had met him, which your not upset about meeting him, your parents wouldn't complain to you all the time. But oh well. There's a very real possibility they would have done this with anyone who you ended up with, seeing as how everyone they would try and set you up with was not your type.
Since this has been happening, your family would always have witty remarks like: "I'll keep you in my prayers" or "I'm thinking of you"
"You ain't gotta pray for me, Me and my wild boy, and all this wild joy."
When were they going to realize that he made you happy. You liked loved being with him. He was your wild boy. Yours. For no one to take.
"If all you want is gray for me, Then it's just white noise, And it's my choice"
Being with him wasn't there choice to make, it was yours. You just had to blur out all the background noise that meant nothing to you.
"There's a lot of people in town that I, Bestow upon my fakest smiles, Scandal does funny things to pride, But brings lovers closer"
Instead of biting back, you played nice. They would would say something rude and you would respond with a smile. All of the fighting only made you and Lip begin to grow closer to each other.
Their bickering with you about him, was backfiring. Big time.
Your parents saw this. They then saw how you looked at eachother. Realised you went to war for each other. Defending each other to your parents. It made them think a little longer.
"We came back when the heat died down, Went to my parents and they came around, All the wine moms are still holding out, But Fuck 'em, it's over"
Your parents had asked you over again. There wasn't anymore fighting online for a couple of weeks now, but you still went over there with the full intent of defending yourselves.
When they started apologising though you were skeptical at first until you saw the genuine look. They meant the apology. They didn't just apologise for what they said, but the actions they had on social media, how they brought the family into it.
"I was being a hypocrite," Your father had explained, "You were talking about your issues on the internet and then I went and did the same things to the both of you, as well as involving other people when it was unnecessary. I sincerely apologise."
Lip had a subtle smirk on his face, only you and his family could recognise.
You both had thanked him for apologizing, none of your other family had apologized though.
"Now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun and, Even my daddy just loves him, I'm his lady, and oh my God, You should see your faces"
Your parents were now very fond of Lip, praising him consistently. Your mother called him handsome. Your father realised how bright he was. Most of all they realised how good the two of you were for each other and how much he loves you.
"No you can't come to the wedding, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want"
You were at your family's annual gathering when one of your cousins came over to the two of you, "So when's your wedding?"
You laughed, "If and when it happens it will solely be immediate family and some friends that will be invited. The ones who actually care about us, ya know?"
#shameless x reader#shameless us x reader#lip gallagher x reader#phillip gallagher x reader#reader x lip gallagher#reader x phillip gallagher#frank gallaher#reader x shameless#reader x shameless us#lip gallagher x y/n#lip gallagher x you#y/n x lip gallagher#you x lip gallagher#but daddy i love him#playlist fics
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✮ BLONDIE : PT 1
°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•
↳ nick sturniolo x masc reader
↳ words - 2239
↳ summary - you’ve been having a hard time realizing and accepting the fact that you’re gay, and in love with your best friend. you try to ignore the feelings but that only makes everything worse until you can’t hide it anymore.
↳ contains - swearing, angst, use of y/n, internalized homophobia, depression, crying, idk??? [READ PT 2 - PT 3]
↳ song - blondie by current joys
°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•
°:. *₊ ° . ☆
nick has been my best friend for years, he’s always been there for me, and me there for him. we met in the first grade when he saw me alone at recess on the swings and he ran up to me, asking if i wanted to play with him and his brothers. one of the many things i love about him, hes always there, always there to help, or just be with. from that day on he’s always been my number one but honestly, i’ve been kind of avoiding him lately.
of course i don’t want to, i really really don’t want to, trust me, but i don’t want to make anything bad between us either. even though pushing him away is probably fucking things up anyway.
the thing is, for months, maybe even years now i think that i might be coming to a realization: i think i’m gay, or not gay but bi? i hate labels, i dont want to be put into a box, its honestly just hard to fit into one too. i mean i’ve had girlfriends before and i’ve liked that, but nick…
okay i might be coming to another realization: i think i’m in love with nick. and to make everything worse, i can’t even talk to anyone about this because the only person i would tell is nick, but if i told him, well i just cant, it could destroy our friendship. he’d hate me, i cant lose him.
but maybe i’m not in love with him, i mean i love nick, i always have but maybe its not love love? maybe its just me appreciating our friendship more. okay who am i kidding it’s definitely becoming more, I LOVE HIM. he’s just perfect, in general, to me, to everyone. i want to spend every moment of my life with him, i want to hug him and never let him go, i want to be with him, i just want to see him again.
i can’t even imagine what he’d say if he knew i liked him. he’d probably be disgusted, i’d ruin our friendship forever. i cant do that, i can’t risk anything like that, i need him even if that means the best thing i can do is just stay away, make up lies of why i cant hang out, slowly stop texting him, i mean maybe it's not the best thing but its either i do this and try and force these feelings down or i tell him and ruin everything. this is better, or at least that’s what i keep telling myself.
☆ °:. *₊ ° . °
nick 🫶
| wanna hang out today? haven’t seen you in forever, i’m boredddd
| i know i’m sorry, but i cant today, really really sorry. still not feeling good
| that’s okay, hope you feel better though 💕 if you need anything tell me okay?
| i’d rather hang out with you and get sick then spend one more second with my idiot brothers over here 💀
i stare at the message on my screen, i’m not sick, i’m just trying to be a good friend… by avoiding my best friend… sure, whatever.
i slam down my phone on my mattress, rolling over and burying my face in my pillow. muffled screams from my mouth as tears, start to pour from my eyes. every time i message him, saying i cant hang out i immediately regret it. i want to see him, i always do but again, i cant, i fucking cant. it would only make my feelings stronger and i just need to get rid of them as soon as i can so things can just go back to how they were.
fuck, here comes the spiral that ive been replaying in my head forever. do i even really like him? am i really bi, gay, straight, whatever the fuck? i don’t even know, it’s all too confusing and stressful right now. why can’t i just be me? and have my best friend with me again? actually hang out with him, see him?
all i can really do right now is continue screaming and crying into my pillow about how much of a shitty friend i’m being, great. I constantly stalk his instagram, trying to see if i do really like him and try to see what he’s up to without me, i miss him so much.
…i wish he was a girl then i would be straight and all this shit wouldn’t hurt so much. i’m not trying to say that being gay is bad, all i’m saying is that it would be easier to figure all this out if i was straight and he was a girl. i know that’s so messed up to say but i don’t know how else to put it.
if he was a girl, i’d know that i’m in love with him, i wouldn’t be so afraid to accept myself because there wouldn’t be anything to accept. i’d just be me and he’d she’d be him her, i’d get to be his her boyfriend and we’d be a happy couple. i’d be happy and i wouldn’t have to push the person i love most in this stupid world away…
i smash my face into my silky white pillowcase over and over, shaking my head as i force the sides of the pillow into my face more. i want to suffocate.
i scream into my pillow more and more. ‘i love you nick, i love you nick, i love you. i DONT love you nick, i DONT love you nick, i DONT love you… but i do, i really really do, but i cant… i really really fucking cant.’
°:. *₊ ° . ☆
i stay rotting in my bed, spiraling about random shit, taking random quizzes of ‘am i gay?’ or ‘am i in love with my bestfriend?’ or ‘is it a crush?’ like i know.
soft blankets cover me, my silky pillows supporting my back as i rewatch rupaul's drag race on my computer until i finish it again, oreos and empty dr pepper cans surround me. and of course, nick always in my mind, everything reminding me of him, those stupid quizzes, his favorite show, his favorite drink. i wish he could be here, like how we used to hang out before i started ruining everything but i could be ruining it more, at least im keeping my mouth shut.
every once and a while, a message from nick pops up. him sending me a tiktok or telling me about how spacecamp is going or just something random, asking how im doing, if im still sick. most times i try to ignore him, turning off the notifications but i answer sometimes, only one or two words, maybe just an emoji, just trying to say something. i don’t want him to think i hate him or anything, i still of course love him.
the only time i ever get up from my bed is to go the the bathroom or get more food, ive been wearing the same two sweatpants alternating them and random shirts that i throw on the floor after i wear them for enough. my hair shaggy and a scratchy stubble on my face. i look and feel gross. i didnt think that forcing my best friend away and trying to figure out my sexuality could make me this depressed, who knew.
☆ °:. *₊ ° . °
weeks pass of me ignoring (or at least trying to ignore) nick and weeks of screaming into my sheets and sleeping all day become more and more. i finally decide to leave my apartment and stock up on some random things that will help me rot in my room even more: coffee, chips, oreos, whatever else i might want.
as i scan the aisle for dr pepper, standing in my gray hoodie with the hood covering me and one of the two sweatpants i’ve been wearing on, i hear a voice at the end of the row calling to me, “y/n?” my head turns to see who knows me that’s here, about to see how disgusting i look and just my luck, it’s nick.
“nick” a bright smile floods my face, i haven’t seen him for what seems like forever, i look at his blonde hair with grown out brunette roots, plus that signature nose ring and star earrings, of course he looks great.
he runs up to me, giving me a warm hug as he smiles too, “oh my god i haven’t seen you in decadessss” he exaggerates, laughing at me, “you feeling better now?” i tilt my head a little, confused but then i remember my lie. “oh yeah, i am. even though i dont look it” i try to scoff a laugh, looking down at myself, excusing how ‘i dont care’ i look right now.
“you look fine.” he laughs back again, “you know… me, chris and matt were gonna go out for dinner soon, wanna come?” i can tell he really wants me to be there and i really want to but i try to push it away, still.
“uhhh, i think had something later, sorry” my small smile slowly fading as his does too, i don’t think i’ve seen his smile leave that fast. “really? we haven’t talked in weeks, i miss you” he jokes a little, but really we do miss each other.
“i know, i’m sorry, but i promise we’ll hang out soon yeah?” i try to fake a small smile, trying to make this a little better but nick still looks sad, “yeah okay, see you later then?” he looks like he hates me, he looks just annoyed, hurt. i feel terrible.
“yeah, later” i’m about to walk closer to give him another hug but he leaves, to i assume go find his brothers, before i can. i’m terrible.
i finish up grabbing my things before leaving and driving off, replaying our interaction in my head. i could’ve just went? it was one dinner, that’s all. not a big deal. but it’s too late, it would just be weird if my schedule suddenly cleared up now.
°:. *₊ ° . ☆
i make my way back to my apartment, putting my bags down on the counter before going straight to my room again, flopping down on top of the pile of blankets and stuffed animals that cover my bed.
i dig in my pocket for my phone, taking it out as i grab a blanket to pull it over my face, closing off the sun that shines through my window.
i go straight to me and nicks messages, thinking of texting him. ‘i’m sorry’ too short, plain. ‘sorry, i was wrong i can go’ feels like i’m pitying him, plus just dumb. ‘i love you’ yeah definitely not. ‘come over? sorry’ again, stupid and he can NOT see the mess i have over here.
i decide on nothing and put my phone to the side of me, burying my head into my pillows again, tears flooding my eyes again again again. it’s too much. this is all stupid and i need to get over it all. this is terrible.
i go back to my cycle of curling up in warm blankets, eating my now new oreos and dr pepper and rewatching shows i’ve seen a million times before. and obviously stalking nicks instagram, he posted a story of him and his brothers at dinner. he’s still wearing those earrings and that same beige jacket he was wearing before, and he still looks great.
i swipe up, about to message him. ‘you look great, sorry i couldn’t come’ i quickly delete it and just like the story. i need to stop trying to message him when i’m trying to ignore him.
₊ ° .☆ °:. *₊
after falling asleep shortly after i finished looking at nicks story i wake up to like five texts from who? nick, of course.
nick 🫶
| are you ignoring me?
| like did i do something or what?
| are you okay?
| can we just talk or hang out please?
| y/n?
| okay sorry actually, never mind
my heart drops, i feel so TERRIBLE. nick did nothing and i never want him to think that he did something wrong. he’s perfect.
i pick up my phone to respond but honesty i don’t know if i should… i want him to know that he did nothing but he’s right about me ignoring him… fuck this. i just ignore him, still.
i shut off my phone fast and roll to my other side, curling up my legs and staring at the small textured bumps on the off-white wall that i face. i take in every detail, trying to distract myself with something else. i spot all the tiny discolorations or stains on the wall, the way it all starts to blur when tears, again, rain out my eyes.
they drip on the curves of my cheeks and lips, my hands are tucked under my legs as he tears drop onto my sheets, i don’t bother wiping them off. they make a small circle ish shape when it hits on my bed with a darker gray on my gray sheets.
my spiraling hits again when the ridges on my wall go dark as my eyes close. why can’t my best friend just be my best friend? why can’t i just be a normal person? why can’t i just forget it all? why can’t this all just go away? why? why? why? why?
☆ °:. *₊ ° . °
taglist : @slutforchriss @mattsleftnipple03 @mattsdinosweater @ccolleenn @mixvchelle @leah-loves-lilies @sturn-wrld @redz0nez9 @cheriematt @freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @whore4matt @txssvx @will-yummy
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo smut#nicolas sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo#𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐢𝐩𝐣𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝜗𝜚⋆#sukiipjs#𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐢𝐩𝐣𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝜗𝜚⋆
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no title because i dont have a name for this and i cant think of anything what
TW: Yandere themes, implied kidnapping, captivity of reader, Arlecchino is really mean and aggressive, and yelling.
Word Count: 800
A/N: This is so bad because I rushed to get this out. Again this is incredibly rushed so don’t expect to much LOL
There's always a way to tell if Arlecchino is in a good mood today.
Whenever she's happy, she always opens the door like how she normally does. She opens it, and then she'll close it with a soft click. She'll take off her shoes and hang up her coat and then she'll call out your name and that would be your cue to come greet her at the door.
You were laying on your bed wanting nothing more to sleep and do nothing the entire day. But suddenly the door slammed open and loud footsteps echoed through the house.
The second that the door slammed open, you could feel your heart drop.
Arlecchino.
She's back. And most importantly, she's not in a good mood today.
You could hear yelling and the voice of her screaming about who knows what. The second you heard her yelling, you instinctively hug your blanket tighter because you're scared. You're scared of her.
As if on instinct, you grabbed your blanket and kneeled down into the corner of the room. You sat there as if you could hide away from her.
You knew how angry Arlecchino gets whenever she's in a bad mood. 9 times out of 10 she always makes sure to take it out on you. She's scary and she yells a lot whenever she's mad at you. Flashbacks of when she would yell at you came across your mind and anxiety filled your veins.
You could hear loud footsteps making their way to your shared bedroom. Oh no. You don't know what to do. She's probably going to yell at you isn't she?..
Well you were right.
Arlecchino opened the room with a loud thud and despite knowing it was coming, it still scared you because of the loud noise.
She took a glance at you all curled in the corner with a blanket over you and how nervous you looked, she raised an eyebrow before saying, "why are you sitting in the dirty corner? Get up."
You didn't know what to do. You were paralyzed in fear. You took one look at her face and you could tell she was pretty heated.
Damn.
She had to ask that didn't she? What a way to rub salt on the wound.
"Did you hear what I said? I told you to get up." Arlecchino said looking disgusted at the way you were on the ground. The anger in her face dissapeared a bit before she noticed how nervous you looked. "Why do you look so scared right now?"
"I- uh.. um" You stuttered. How the hell are you supposed to answer that?
"I'm scared of you because you're always yelling and whenever you get angry you become scary and I don't like it. I don't like how you brought me here against my will. I hate you. I hate you so much. You're a cruel person and I don't want to ever see you again."
Is what you wanted to say.
But alas you were a scared pet, too afraid to talk back to your master.
"How many times do I have to tell you?!?!" She begins shouting. "Get up from the floor right now."
You scrambled to get up when she started shouting at you. It was best not to anger her anymore.
"You can never do what you're told can you?" She yelled. "I had to tell you three times to get up from the floor."
Arlecchino began yelling at you for the next minute about how you can't follow simple directions. After that, she walked away to let off some steam leaving you in the room all dumbfounded. You sat on the bed and decided to lay there. You were tired of her and how angry she could be.
Later on in the night she came back to your room and she saw you laying there. She laid right next to you and her arms wrapped around you body holding you tightly. Your heart immediately dropped when she starting cuddling you.
"I love you darling.." She mumbled as she nuzzled her face into your neck. A few hours ago she was yelling at you and now she's acting like nothing happened?
You couldn't do anything about it though. Arlecchino is always like this. She never apologizes after she yells at you.
You were afraid that if you didn't give her any affection, she might start yelling at you again. So you said the four words that would make her happy.
"I love you Arlecchino.."
You could feel her lips turning into a smile as her icy touch makes you shiver. As long as you show her some sort of affection she will be happy. Maybe she'll stop taking her anger out on you next time..
Probably not.
But hey? You could at least have some hope right?
Right?
#yandere arlecchino#yandere arlecchino x reader#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino x you#yandere arlecchino fics#genshin impact#yandere genshin imagines#yandere genshin impact#yandere fatui#no title fic
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Amber ── .✦01.
✦ Summary: In which Esme and Hoseok fall in love but of course with love comes trouble especially when you're dating an idol.
Series masterlist| previous| next
"JUST SHUT UP! PLEASE!" Her cries echoed throughout the house, covering her ears as she laid on the floor. She couldn't deal with it anymore, the constant gaslighting and the mental abuse was getting to the point where it was too much. "I should've listened when they warned me, but nah I ignored them 'cause my dumbass didn't know any better, cutting the people I loved off FOR YOU! just so that you could be happy, for us to be happy!" She screamed while crying. He stood there confused as if he didn't know why she was crying, as if he wasn't the reason her mental health depleted and still is. when she finally looked up at him all that could be seen in her face was disgust. Disgust with they were he was looking and acting towards her over the years. "You know what I'm done with this bullshit." She got up wiping her tears, leaving the male's apartment ignoring all sounds and stares she received. All she could think about was why she never realized sooner......

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Esme's POV:
"Should I be doing this right now?" Biting my fingers anxiously as my decorated camera sat on my bed. I knew I would have to come back to making YouTube videos eventually,as it was all I knew and I would be nothing without it and my subscribers. I just never expected it to feel so foreign to me. Honestly I don't even know if I'm ready to get back but I know many of my fans miss me, and of course theres some who thought I'd be gone for good, and honestly I don't blame them for that knowing I did take a 6-month break with no heads up, not only on YouTube but on all my social media platforms, kinda like I just disappeared but if not now then when?
I sigh grabbing my camera and turning it to start recording. "Hey guys! I know it's been a while and y'all are probably wondering where I've been, what I've been doing and more some of y'all were right and I did break up with Rome but I'm not gonna go into full details about it, cause I'm not ready yet when I am though you guys will know the full story and understand why I took a break but lemme not ruin the mood it's a time of comebacks and celebration! now I am going to get back on my routine, posting weekly and spamming my socials!" As I speak, I can just feel some of the weight I've been holding on being lifted off my chest.
I clasp my hands together before I continue talking. "To be honest with y'all I wasn't even going to start recording again this soon, but Jazmine and her Lil boo invited me and one of his friends to a trip to Hawaii!!! Like y'all don't understand how hyped I am right now! Like I may regret this later but who am I to say no to a trip to Hawaii." I shrug my shoulders jokingly.
"I didn't plan much for this video honestly, but I did want this video and the Hawaii flight video to be separate, and since I and Jaz are going tomorrow imma drop COCO off at my mom's, and hopefully jaz is gonna be home by the time I get back so we can pack together and hopefully make some cute matching fits." I explain to my viewers what I have planned for the day though it wasn't much. (A/N: coco is the name of her Pomeranian I didn't put her in the characters cus she wouldn't be mentioned much💀)
"Come here coco! Y'all why he tryna act like he dont know mee! get a hold of Coco who was trying to run away, I grab my keys, slip on my slides, and lock my door, leaving my apartment complex as I make my way to my car.
I prop my camera on my dashboard, so it won't fall, and put on Apple Music to play "Normal Girl". "As always y'all we're gonna stop by Starbucks so I can try a drink I saw going viral on TikTok then I'll head over to my mom's house to drop coco off." I look back at coco than at my camera as I speaking
"So, this is the drink I got and y'all already know I had to get my grilled cheese! Tew good." I showcase my order to my camera as I get the drink and my grilled cheese sandwich. I eat and drink my order as I make my way over to my mom's house.
I get there and ring the doorbell repeatedly to which she opens the door. "Esme gimme the damn dog so I can go back to sleep too damn early for this shit" she speaks groggily with an attitude.
"It's actually one though...and I don't even get a hello wooow" I joke with her knowing we were on the phone last night.
"Esme quit playin' with me and give me the damn dog."
"Damn here, Bye coco bye mama." I hand her coco and walk back to my car hearing her hum bye back.
"Ok so now that I dropped Coco off imma just head back home and hopefully Jaz is back so we can pack together." I talk to my camera as I start driving back home. . . . . .
I finally get back, unlocking my door to see Jaz in the kitchen getting a snack. "Oh, hey Esme" she turns and greets me.
"Hey sweetheart, did u have fun with your Lil boo," I ask with a smirk.
"Girl yes I have to fill you in on literally everything so fir-".
I cut her off before she started ranting on about what she and Yoongi did. "Before you even start let's pack while you tell me what y'all did because I know you ain't start yet and I know you gon be talking for a good minute. "
"You right" she laughs knowing what I said was true.
We both go into my room and start packing for the trip tomorrow.
.
.
.
.
.
A/N: I edited this chapter WAYY more than the second time and I'm actually happy with the beginning chapter and I made this chapter before the whole Starbucks boycott so that's why they were mentioned I DO NOT SUPPORT them at all not even to the slightest degree
Please like and comment 🙏🏾
— 1089 words —
#Spotify#black reader#bts#bts ff#bts x black reader#ambw fic#aot x black reader#ambw#black girl beauty#black literature#bts army#youtube#youtuber#idol au#bts jhope#bts idol au#bts x poc#bts yoongi#smau#kpop#kpop smau#no smut#beginner writer#black women#black woman beauty#asian man#pls read#jhope#vacation#hawaii
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kyo soma x reader
‧₊˚ ⋅ 🍓 ᓚᘏᗢ 🫐‧₊ .ᐟ
{ Angst/Fluff }
summary: reader has some bad memories pop up and becomes submerged in a bad ptsd episode and panic attack. kyo comes home from the store and finds them disheveled and lost. He comforts them and grounds them. post curse being lifted from the sohma’s.
warnings/TW: mention of abuse
it was a calm spring day, the trees were blossoming and the air was crisp. you were cleaning in the kitchen and humming along to a song playing on the radio. your mind was going elsewhere and thinking of your life. it had been almost 3 years since you moved in with kyo. it really didn't feel like that long. everyday that passed was cherished and your heart was full. you were grateful and loved him more than anyone in your life. you never expected to be with kyo. to be cared for and cherished without doubt. to feel held even when you were apart from one another. he never judged you or put you down. he did so much for you without even knowing it. he would wake up before you and just watch you sleep. he would walk up behind you while you were cooking dinner and wrap his arms around your waist. whisper sweet nothings, things he would never say aloud. he gave this look when you told him about your day, a look that made you feel safe and at home. it was such a foreign feeling, to be loved. you thought of your life before meeting the soma family and you shivered. your life before him. goosebumps appeared on your skin.
" you're a liar and a bitch! i could never love you. you aren't my daughter, i dont know you. disgusting child. no one will ever love you. "
the memory flashed in your head. that voice crystal clear and replaying over and over. your stomach felt sick and your body froze. so many years went by and you were stuck hearing things like that. no one saved you or seemed to care so you must've deserved it. you felt small and scared, the memories all rushing to you at once. so much progress had been made, but you kept going back to square one. your hands felt like jelly and the plate you were holding fell to the floor with a crash. surprised, you snapped out of your daydream. you crouched and hid your face in your knees, sobbing and screaming. so many emotions came over you in such a short amount of time. hurt and wounded from the pain your parents put you though. it haunted you and never truly went away. you wanted your boyfriend. you needed kyo right now. where was he? you couldn't remember and you felt frightened and alone.
" kyo... " you whimpered his name out. the air around you felt like it was thick and heavy. suffocating. your breathing was quick and your head felt light. you heard something thud and footsteps come toward you.
" y/n! " kyo's voice. your boyfriend was home. he rushed to your side and pushed your legs down and away from your chest. he lifted your face to meet his and your tears welled up again. you started to sob and mumble incoherently. you looked like a child to soma and he pulled you into his chest. petting your soft hair and speaking in a gentle voice.
" its okay, i'm here now. i've got you baby, "
you clung to him and started to calm down. his heartbeat was loud in his chest and it grounded you. the smell of his shirt mixed with his own scent. he took deep breaths, hoping you would match his rythym. kyo rested his cheek on your head, softly he hummed along to the radio. you were so exhausted you weren't even thinking about anything anymore. just being in your boyfriend's presence relaxed you. he took over all your thoughts. you felt better when he was around, protected and safe.
" thank you kyo, " you mumbled. he rubbed a hand on your back, it was soothing. he waited a little longer before parting to help you up. he held you again while you stood. your arms wrapped around his torso and you buried your face in his chest. soma kissed your head.
" do you...wanna talk about it? " he hesitated, but knew he would at least offer. you looked up to him and shook your head.
" just wanna cuddle. please? " you asked, swallowing dryly. kyo nodded and moved your bodies so you were behind him. you looked down to the porcelain scattered across the kitchen floor. fuck, you remembered.
" i'll clean this up, go on to the bedroom okay? i'll be right there with you. " he reassured you. before you could even argue he shooed you off. you sulked to your room and changed into some soft sweats and a tshirt. you turned on your mood lighting and curled up under the covers. your eyes fluttered shut as you waited for your love. he got into bed beside you and held you close. petting your hair, rubbing his hand along your back and arm. you felt yourself drifting to sleep, not wanting to sleep but you needed it.
" m'love you...sleepy. " you mumbled into your boyfriend's chest. he smiled and kissed your head.
" i love you so much . " he spoke softly, his voice low. you two stayed like that for a few hours, napping into the evening. when you woke up you were back to your usual temperament, annoyed at kyo for letting you nap instead of starting on dinner. he laughed at your puffy face from sleeping, you couldn't help but smile. you leaned in and kissed his lips. he held your lower back, humming against the kiss. you felt at peace with your lover and couldn't ask for more.
a/n: this is like 2 years old!!! but i’m reentering my fruba phase and wanted to post this :P if you read this thank yew!🩷i hope it fulfills the kyo obsession teehee
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*kinda scared to post this.. Defiantly not my normal territory. Love the damn show though, dont care. Hope its decent. Picturing Cassius as Jacob Elordi. Maybe part 2? if it goes over well, if so ideas? idk if i can even write anymore for real 😶 this took me so fricken long.*
Masterlist
Tiktok that inspired this 1st tiktok and 2nd tiktok
Sighing you looked up at.. What did that say? “Hazbin Hotel”.. “Oookay.” You said drawn out sarcastically as you looked down and closed your eyes. You knew you had to go in, you owed this to your Dark Lady. You swore to her that you would look after her daughter, she had given you everything you ever wanted. Knocking you brace yourself with a smile for your niece Charlie who you could already hear squealing.
You do smile though that she throws herself at you and hugs you while bouncing on her toes. Vaggie smiles softly while telling her girlfriend that she should bring you inside. Soon your sitting in front of Husk who's making you a drink, Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor and finally Angel and Sir Pentious. The last two had seemed in almost aw when you had finally stepped inside fully and reached up to drop your hood and remove your cloak. Honestly you were use to it, even if it was always flattering.
As a devout follower of The Dark Lady, Lilith, in your human life you were granted a doll like version of the look you always wanted in life. BUT your time was highly coveted, you had many things to do, even more so in her ladys absence. The seat at her table was something you worked hard for, and something you would never be giving up. You would be here when she returned. “This whole idea is beautiful sweetie. You know if you ever need something, Ill do everything I can to help.” From beside you, you swear you feel Pentious’ tongue touch you when he speaks. He's so close. “I bet your powerful!”
You smile while looking down, it was a play at shyness but Alastor and Husk could see right through it. “How did such a beaut end up here anyways!” Angel said, laughing and throwing himself on the couch. “Here as in??” You circled your finger in the air “Hell.. or the Hotel?” Ending with pointing at the floor. Hearing a static “Both” you looked at the Radio Demon, under different circumstances you would be creeped out by his never falling smile. But for some reason you werent, you hadnt been scared of anyone in a long time so it wasnt that. But moving on you took a deep breath and said nonchalantly “I'm a follower of Lady Lilith, so of course I ended up here.”
Husk half chuckled, half scoffed and your head snapped with unnatural speed to him. Chills shot down his neck as the smile on your lips and the look in your eye. He could almost feel you skinning him, when you crossed one leg over your knee and leaned onto the counter and smiled at him he wanted to run. “Ok pussycat.. You wanna know why I'm here.. Let me show you.” Waving your hand a deep deep red smoke encompassing the room as everyone felt the floor fall from under them next thing they knew, they were all standing somewhere none of them knew. Ancient Greece. “Never speak to me again, Cassius!” They heard before turning and falling into your memory.
Storming down the hall you had never felt such pain, such anger and betrayal. You felt broken. Your favorite colored shorter toga dress whipped around your thighs as you ran. You didn't even know where you were too, running until your toes hit the water. Then your knees as you start screaming until your throat is raw before sobbing. “Why??” You cried softly trying to understand how one person could feel so much pain and still be alive. You were thinking that you wish you could just die. That there would never be someone who would understand this pain before feeling warmth wrap around you. Opening your eyes to the most beautiful woman standing before you. Well, she kinda stood before you, she was fuzzy, almost ghost-like. “Don't cry daughter of Lilith, let us take care of this.” As she spoke she tilted her head, the smile on her face taking over a savage edge. As she faded your anger grew, any other feeling gone, any thought besides revenge then death gone.
Behind you, you heard your name being shouted. By him.. By the man who had betrayed you. The man you had been seeing, giving yourself too. Who you were supposed to marry tomorrow. You had found him out for a stroll with his son.. His son and his wife.. A son and a wife you clearly didn't know about. His face had dropped when his eyes connected with yours, both of your worlds freezing. Because the problem was, he truly did love you. He didn't come from a very wealthy family, so this marriage, he couldn't mess it up. His father would kill him, and probably you. He didnt know what he was going to do or tell you tomorrow. But now he didnt need too, but he had broken your heart in the worst way. He just wanted a moment to try to explain.
Unfortunately for him, the moment your heart broke, someone powerful stepped in. She had been waiting for you, Lilith. She could feel the impending heart break from hell and knew she had to step in. She didnt feel connected to living women often so when she did, she paid attention. She had grasped and pulled forward the woman she wanted you to be. Allowed you to embrace your rage and take an inhuman amount of power, one you knew without words would kill you. You felt a weird calm, an almost buzzing hot but calm numbness spread across your skin as you stood. Your voice was low, but somehow Cassius heard it. “Get in the water.”
You heard him stop , could somehow feel him just at the edge as the waves barley lapped the tips of his sandals. “Get in the water” you repeated your voice deeper than he had ever heard, raspy from crying but carried something.. Something that gave him goosebumps. All the hairs on his hairs and neck standing on end, his guts screaming at him to run. He watched the fingers on your left run slowly through the water, the setting sun sparklingly off your now useless engagement ring. He audibly gulped as you slowly turned to him, black veins around your eyes and spreading from your finger tips and throat. “Or Ill raise the tide so high..” You looked down at his feet as a slightly larger wave splashed his toes “All of Delos will die..” Looking him in the eyes he jumped, there was a slight glow to your eyes, almost gold mixed with red. He was terrified.
���Get in the water.”
Taking a panicked breath he feels water.. Hitting.. His calves? Looking down his panic increases “Wait..” His mind is speeding down any and every possible avenue but its coming up with nothing but fear. Fear so encompassing as he hears you tell him again, and he swears he sees you take a step forward. “Stop” he says in a desperate shout, the waves now up to his knees. “Stop this.. Please.” he begs as you tilt your head and take another slow step toward him. He sounds so pathetic you think as you ball your hands into fists, his wife stumbling onto the sand as well, pulling their son behind her. She calls out to him, but Cassius cant look away from the woman in front of him.
Are the veins glowing now? Is your hair? Is it moving, whipping back and forth wildly? You could feel the anger rising, it was an all encompassing avalanche of emotions. Seeing her made all that pain real again, pulled it past the surface, shoved you over your breaking point. A tiny, very small part of you felt bad for the child as you refocused on his father. Turning to look back at him, you have a small evil smirk on your face. Unclenching your hands and raising them slowly to inspect your palms you spoke again. “Ill make tidal waves so profound..” Cocking your head to the other side your eyes flick to the woman who screams Cassius again. The smirk spreads into a full grin “Both your wife and your son will drown.”
“NO!” He screams anguish, panic, fear its all right there. Suddenly your in his face. The wind harshly blowing around both of you now, your hair flying this way and that in soft caresses across your cheeks and forehead. Your breathing the same air, his anguished puff of air as he tries to find the words, the feelings, the anything to give you to calm you down. To fix this. But he jumps when you next speak, the volume and the venom in your voice scare any half thoughts he had away. “GET IN THE WATER!” Now the waves, they arent small calm waves crashing gently on his legs.
They are slamming into them, the water up to his hips, now reaching his wife and sons feet as others gather and panic starts to ensue. People are screaming behind him, but no one will come any closer. The fear and uncertainty was pabable. The smile on your face kept growing, the glow in your eyes now bright and eerie. “GET IN THE WATER!!” You screamed again, taking a step back and turning before spinning back and grabbing his neck with both hands. You were tall for a woman, but Cassius was taller. It was one of things you always loved about him. In your rage you pulled him to you by his throat. He has no idea how your so steady on your feet. He is rocking back and forth, his sandals being sucked into the sand by retreating water.
Squeezing as you started to pull him with you, stepping backwards. Keeping eye contact, it was controlling, you didnt know how you were doing it. But as you kept talking it was like you were compelling him. Letting go as you spun the two of you around and point out towards the open sea. You were so close your noses were touching, he could feel your lips brush against his as you whispered. “ Dont mistake my threats for bluff. You have lived more than enough..” Cassius knew he was dead, he could feel his body moving against his will. Somehow your whisper shook him to the bone, deeper than anything else had.
He looked toward his son one last time, mouthed ‘i love you’ as his feet drug him deeper. Without ever looking at his wife, he turned his gaze back to you. He looked at you with such despair, but also understanding. He KNEW he hurt you, he KNEW that you were an outsider. You had come here from one of the tribes on the main land. He knew your gods and his were different. It had never bothered him, but now hes thinking he shouldve listened harder. Shouldve known better. Shouldve loved you correctly.
Tears streaming down your cheeks, you could feel yourself dying. Whatever that woman had given you was fading. You were running out of time. You wanted to see him die. When he smiled sadly at you and mouthed that he loved you to a violent heat pulsed over you. You felt like you were on fire as you stormed in anger towards him, grabbing his throat again and shoving him down. “GET IN THE WATER!” You scream one last time, before following him with the pull of the waves into the ocean.
The last thing you remember besides happiness and warmth, was seeing him sinking deeper into the darkness.
Snapping your fingers you released everyone from your hold. Sir Pentious started to gag, his little egg buddies having passed out or thrown up. Everyone looks shocked, even Alastor is momentarily without his sinister grin. Not even a full breath later, Angel and Husk are badgering you with questions. How did you get the power? Where you a follower in life or was this chance? Is your ex here in hell? That doesnt tell us how powerful you are down here! Charlie at some point rewrapped herself around you and is crying for your broken heart. Your patting her head and smiling while answering all of the questions and showing off little tricks.
Never noticing the tall dark demon behind you, still slightly stunned.. In what he thinks is.. Awe?
“Hm.. This wont due.”
#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor#alastor the radio demon#radio demon#the radio demon#alastor x reader#alastor x y/n#alastor x you#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor imagine
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Rockstar!Eddie x Reader Blurb
So this originated from this post by @uglypastels but I just wanted to start organizing my stuff because I'm def writing more and I need to have the lore and shit all in one place which is why I'm posting it here.
Basically, this is rockstar!eddie having this urgent need to spoil you, he tells you to quit your job because it's stressing you out so bad and he has the means to take care of you but you refuse. Lots of fluff, Eddie is a sweetie pie with a huge heart even after his band takes off
i can see like early on in the relationship you haven't moved in with him yet and still live in a little apartment in a shitty part of town and he swears you are the one like has never felt this way about anyone before but he really tries to refrain from suffocating you with his love because he doesn't wanna scare you away. As the relationship grows he hangs out at your apartment in the evenings when you come home from work exhausted and he just loves on you and gets you takeout cause you're so tired and life has just been stressing you out with all the bills and living paycheck to paycheck. He knows that struggle all too well from his upbringing and he can't stand seeing you suffer that way cause you're his baby and you deserve to be spoiled and treated like royalty.
You've been to his house before however you dont get to go over there a lot because of how much you're working but lets just say its fucking nice. It's not super big but its so homey and also screams eddie with the metal posters everywhere and guitars and such. He even has a little pool and a hot tub that you never get to enjoy with him because of how busy you are. He can't take it anymore, he feels like you're so beyond overworked and he will not have it.
One night you're laying in your bed with him complaining about work and all the bullshit thats been happening lately and hes just playing with your fingers, putting his rings on yours and then back on his, just back and forth fidgeting cause hes nervous to ask his question. As you're wrapping up a story from another shitty work situation you're like "that's so fucked up, right!? i've been keeping an eye out for a new job though so hopefully-" and he cuts you off cause no, you won't be getting a new job that will only stress you out, not if he can help it. "Move in with me." he says suddenly. You just turn to look at him like he's insane and before you can protest he's like "no, I'm serious. Move in with me. Let me take care of you, I can't watch you do this anymore." He's super sincere about it and his eyes are all big and pleading. You go on to tell him that you can't do that, you need to make it on your own and it lowkey turns into a fight. You're telling him that you're not going to rely on a man for your wellbeing and saying stuff like "do you think that lowly of me?!" and this is not how it was supposed to go, he just genuinely wants to see you happy and doing all the things you want to do that you never have time for because you're working.
He cups your cheeks in his hands and is like "baby, I think so highly of you, I just wanna give you the world. Please let me. Let me give you all the things I never imagined I'd ever be able to." You still get defensive about it cause he's not just asking you to move in, he's asking you to quit your job and basically run away from your current life which....that's not so bad cause your current life is shit but its also so scary because its the only normal you know so how could you just up and leave it?? You turn him down and let him know that you just can't and he respects your boundaries so after that he leaves it. He still hates how miserable you are but he still wants to be there for you as much as he can. It fucking sucks cause when your car starts acting up he just wants to take it in and get it fixed cause there would literally be no financial burden on him but for you, it would cost like months of rent. To work around it, he says he'll fix it cause he has so much experience with cars and even works on his own all the time. He has it towed to his house where he can use all his tools and stuff in his garage and while he could secretly just take it in somewhere to have it fixed, he doesn't want to upset you if you found out cause he knows you would try to pay him back and he knows you'd find a way to see how much it costs and it would just add to your stress. He doesn't mind doing it himself anyway, its therapeutic so he has it up and running again in a few days.
He loves that you're so independent but it doesn't change that he just wants to shower you with everything you could ever deserve. One day he waits for you at your apartment to come home from work, he has a key and everything and he's setting up a little after work dinner date, nothing too crazy but he brought over an expensive wine for you to try and he can't cook for shit but he's trying to learn so he makes spaghetti and meatballs for you. When you step in the door, he's all excited and running toward the door to greet you, the room actually smells really good and he even threw together some garlic bread and he's super proud of himself and he's excited to see your reaction. Only when he sees you, he stops dead in his tracks because there are tears and mascara streaming down your face and you have one of those frowns that you get when you're trying not to cry but the tears are stinging your eyes. He gathers that you cried all the way home and are trying to hold it together in front of him. He just rushes over and scoops you up to hold you on the couch in his lap and you can't contain the tears anymore, you just start sobbing into his chest while he rubs your back and soothes you. "I've got you, I'm right here." He doesn't even ask for an explanation, he's just there for you and he hopes that when you're ready, you'll tell him but if not, that's okay too.
You're still full on crying, snot and all when you pull back to tell him through a wobbling voice and sniffles "I-I can't do it anymore." And he has an idea of what you're referring to but he just nods with sympathy in his eyes. "Life sucks s-so bad. Don't wanna do it anymore." You would be hiccupping and getting yourself really worked up like almost not breathing. He would shush you gently and cradle your jaw in his hand, the tears slipping down into his hand and say "Baby, you need to breathe, okay? Gonna make yourself sick." and he would help you with little breathing exercises to kinda calm your nervous system. It would work a little but you're still super upset. He sparks an idea and if you yell at him again then so be it cause he just wants his baby to enjoy life and not come home crying more often than not. He would pull your head into his chest again and just whisper "Come live with me. Please. You can quit this job, find something new that you actually like." He tries to reason with you because he knows from last time that you would absolutely not just up and leave without any plans to help pay for things even though he won't allow it. "Eddie, I can't do that to you, I don't know how long it'll take me to find something decent." You would tell him sadly although its a much different reaction than last time because it sounds like you might be on board in some way if you could work things out how you needed. "Sweets, I can't watch you do this anymore. I'd much rather you quit and take some time to find something you actually love than stay here and be sad every day. Come stay with me, you don't even have to get rid of your apartment if you don't want to but just come stay with me and decompress. Let me spoil you a little bit while you figure it out. That's all I want." He sounds so genuine and is talking so softly its making you melt.
Eventually you work out a little deal where you'll stay at his house and search for work in the area. You use up the remaining money you have to keep paying rent on your apartment that you don't even use anymore. Secretly Eddie goes to the leasing office and pays off like a year's worth of rent and gives you your money back. "What this for?" you would ask as you looked at job listings while lounging around at his kitchen counter. He'd just shrug and kiss your cheek. "Don't worry about it." But you will most definitely worry about it. You get heated again and finally pull the information out of him and he admits that he got your money back and paid off a year for your apartment so you wouldn't have to give it up should you decide you don't want to stay with him permanently. It's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for you but you come at it raging because he shouldn't have to do this. You're trying to argue with him but he just grabs your hands calmly and is like "Listen. I had nothing growing up, I lived in a trailer park in the middle of nowhere." You're not really sure why he's going into this, you knew this from all the late night talks where you'd just lay in bed when neither of you could sleep. "I always had to decide if I wanted to eat or if I wanted to keep the lights on. And I'll be damned if I let you go through that or anything similar to that. I don't wanna spend my money on fancy designer shit or brand new cars. I want to spend it on you and making you comfortable and happy because now I can. I never thought I'd be able to do that for someone but I can now and you're my girl. Let me take care of you in the ways I never even dreamed I'd be able to take care of someone." You start crying again because what the fuck no one has ever been so sweet in your entire life and you're like what did I do to deserve this???
He's there wiping the tears away and nudging his nose against yours. You still don't want to give in but he's so damn sweet and he's being so vulnerable with you, this is something so personal to him. "I'm still getting a job and paying my half." You choke out. He just agrees because it'll make you happy but little do you know that whenever you give him any money he puts it aside in its own account for you. You end up working at a little flower shop and its beautiful, you get to be creative and you aren't stressed beyond your limits every single day. He visually sees that you're happier and you have this glow to you. One day you're both on his couch after he came home from a recording session and you worked late at the flower shop because you'd been working on some arrangements for a big event. You're both so tired and snuggly just watching some stupid movie while snacking. He's got you in between his legs and his thumb is stroking your hip, you both forget about the movie and just start talking about endless things. It comes up that you'd like to start your own little business some day, possibly your own flower shop that also sells cute little things from other small businesses (like soaps, art, etc.). Maybe even have a little coffee bar in it. He sees the way your eyes light up and he just smiles so softly down at you. He puts you both in a position where you're sitting criss cross in front of him and he's doing the same in front of you. "Let's do it then." he says like its the most obvious thing in the world. You scoff cause you don't have even a fraction of the money saved to start a business.
He pulls up a banking app on his phone and starts tapping his fingers away before setting the phone in your hands. You look at it all confused and he's just staring at you all dopey and cute but you have no idea why. He blurts out "It's yours. Every penny you've given me to cover bills. I put it away for you." You gasp when you realize how much money has built up in the account. You want to scream at him but you also know that he didn't do it against his will, he did it because he wanted to, he never does anything he doesn't want to. He's super stubborn even when it comes to his record label trying to tell him what to do. Again, the waterworks start and you collapse into him. He starts telling you "I know you don't like that I do things like this but you're my girl and I can't help it." He would press a kiss to the top of your head and you would pull back to look up at him and just grab him by his shirt so you could kiss him with so much emotion. That night you just make love to each other for hours, you can't keep your hands off each other. You don't know it but he's also planning on buying you a ring really soon and he's going to buy the one that he's seen you stare out when you've been out with him. It's a simple ring that's more dainty than anything and it doesn't even cost a lot, he just sees the way your eyes grow every time you pass that same shop and see it in the window and he knows that he's going to get it for you.
After that night you have less trouble letting him do things for you. Obviously you avoid it if you can but you don't scold him every time he slides his credit card over to pay for things or when you find out he's paid off a loan you had taken out a long time ago for that time you went to cosmetology school a few years ago that didn't end up working out. Suddenly the balance is zero and when you call to clear it up they tell you its been paid off. You make sure to give him the best head of his life but then also complain a little because you feel guilty that he took care of it. He shushes you by shoving his face in between your legs.
~end~
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson fic#eddie x reader#eddie munson x fem reader#eddie munson#eddie munson x female reader#rockstar!eddiemunson#rockstar!eddie#eddie munson au
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Warning slight nsfw
These are my headcanons for some creepypastas and what they would call you in a relationship
⁰ו°hehe! More headcanons!°•×⁰
Jeff
He would call you
-hottie
-bitch
-babe
My reasons are that he's an asshole but still wants to show you affection. He wouldn't really say these things by yourselves since he would just call you by your name but in public or around the other pastas he would.
Ben
He would call you
-baby
-princess/knight
-mommy/daddy
-babygirl/boy
The princess thing is because he plays the legend of zelda (duh) but the rest he just finds genuinely sweet and he likes calling you mommy/daddy in the bedroom he will call you these things to the point where you dont know if he knows your name anymore
Eyeless jack
He would call you
-love
-sweetie
-babe
Though he may not use these names often, whenever he does you do find it very endearing and like how he gets shy when he calls you these things until later on in the relationship.
Toby
He would call you
-literally any name (for couples) you can think of
He would call you any name because whether he is joking or he's not he wants you to know that he loves you, he will also call you by your name but there is a subtle difference in the way he says it that makes your heart flutter.
Masky/tim
He would call you
-your name
-darling
-hun
The nicknames are for when you two are alone mainly but he does enjoy saying the nicknames around the others every now and then just to see your reaction.
Hoodie/brian
-hun ABSOLUTELY
-babe
-darlin'
-___pie
The whole reason I'm picking such southern (in my opinion) names is because in my head he has a slight southern accent. (I don't know why) And you absolutely love it when he calls you these things (I'm like internally screaming as I imagine him holding you by the shoulders, let's say someone catcalled y/n and he'd just be like, "darlin', dont you worry your little head imma find him." With a kiss on the head and he leaves AHHH I'm kicking my feet Brian is one of my favorites if you couldn't tell)
(I spent too long on that I'm sorry)
Kate
FINALLY SOME WOMAN sorry this is what she'd say
-babe
-sweetheart
-sugar
I don't know why but I feel like she'd be extra sweet with you like getting you lil things anytime she found them and she'd be like "here you go" since she doesn't and does know how to interact with you. She just wants to love you.
Jane
This is what she'd say
-baby
-honey
-darling
-cutie
She sees herself as a badass or more accurately someone dangerous and scary so when she dates you it's pretty clear that she sees you as her cute thing. She doesn't pressure it on you but in her head you're her baby and will protect you, even if she knows you can protect yourself she won't stand down.
Nina
-again, she would call you any name that a couple would use
She LOVES you. Not so much to like, hurt you (like some yandere) but enough to where she's obsessed. She will call you pet names (even before dating) and she just wants to show you her love every. Single. Day.
Liu
(I'm gonna be completely honest I don't know much about liu or what all the hype about him is, please don't kill me)
-honey
-babe
-sugar
So basic I know but to me he looks like a basic book worm I'm sorry I'm not a liu fan I'll try to do more research for my liu simps :')
-Laughing jack
This is what he'd call you
-sugarcane
-candycane
-literally anything candy
He sees you as sweet so he will call you anything sweet, he genuinely loves you and doesn't understand names like "baby" or "darling". He just wants to call you as what he sees you as.
(also laughing Jane would be the same)
X-virus/cody
This is what he'd call you
-honestly I think he'd be a bit too shy or uncomfortable calling you anything
-once in a blue moon he'd call you love or say something cheesy like "if I'm the patient your my antidote" or something 💀
He's not like "UwU I'm shyyy" he's actually just genuinely scared to call you anything because he hasn't even figured out why he feels this way (this doesn't mean he'll fall out of love either he just needs to learn to accept things and eventually will adapt) he's a slow person in relationships so please be patient with Cody.
Clockwork/Natalie
-she would also be a bit shy in the beginning but would adapt faster than cody
This is what she'd call you
-love
-beautiful
-prettygirl/boy
She thinks your the most beautiful thing she's ever seen and she will tell you at least 3 times a week. It's not like Nina obsessed but it's her way of reassurance even if you don't need it. She simply just adores you.
This is all I'm gonna do because I've already spent an hour on it. If there's anyone I missed or you want I am able to take asks still for anything but I will warn you it might take a bit to actually answer. Please don't be afraid to suggest anything!!
#creepypasta#x-virus#toby#ticci toby#clockwork#Natalie#tim wright#masky#brian#hoodie#jane the killer#jeff the killer#nina the killer#laughing jack#laughing jane#please read!!#ben drowned#eyeless jack
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ok leaked 2x01 clip observation post
(watch the clip here)
God. Izzy looks completely wrecked in this- hes scruffy and his hairs not slicked back properly he just looks. tired.
EVERYONE LOOKS SO COOL THOUGH
i want to know WHY he stutters there- what was he going to say instead?
for me, the way fang asks izzy how hes doing is not just a sign that things have gotten so bad, but it implies prior emotional connection. fang had to be the one to breach this conversation because he Knows Izzy (perhaps the others were too nervous to start because the situation is Obviously tense, but fang knows him) idk thats what i get from it.
'dont help me, dont help me' izzy sweetheart :( they are your friends.
the way jim says 'unhealthy relationship with blackbeard' sounds like they were coached, like they were repeating something someone else said. i love two unemotional assholes trying their best. unhealthy relationship is such a frenchieism to me i can just imagine jim noting it down in their journal like. 'good wording. practice saying it a few more times. toxic??????'
i believe theyre called archie and i love them so much. lesbianism hours.
rhino horn i assume is a drug? hm.
'hes cut off at least two more of your toes, hasnt he?' HOLY SHIT
the way frenchie says that is like. it wasn't infection or an accident its purposeful. they KNOW something is happening. ed Took two more toes. at least, that they know of. how do they know??? are they listening? can they hear his screams? is he asking for medical help from them? rotating round them all so no one person knows just how bad it is? (but theyre talking. theyre talking to each other now. about him, theyre worried)
maybe his first really did heal fine and it was a later infection. maybe. maybe ed took the whole leg. on purpose. whats izzy been doing to 'make ed do this'- did ed even anything to justify it? was he protecting the crew? smuggling rations to lucius? at best he was disobeying orders, but given their reactions it obviously wasnt anything that endangered anyone- imo he would have been looking out for them (maybe that why he is instructing them to throw away loot. hes protested that one too many times)
the way he immediately starts crying at that too. its like. hes been thinking all these things for a while and didn't want to say it out loud, or was thinking it was all on him and that he deserved it- but then someone comments out loud its not a good situation and he just. thats his oh moment and he falls apart.
IZZY GETS A HUG
god a fang hug looks so good- even when hes obviously trying to respect izzy being uncomfortable it
the way he is desperately trying to hold back sobbing- like if he breaks apart now he knows its the end, he will never be able to put himself back together. he needs to remain strong remain put together, he will never survive otherwise. it doesnt even really feel like hes trying not to cry because its weakness, not appropriate of him anymore, its simply that he cant afford to.
also making unconscious noises when uncomfortable. me 🤝 izzy autistic bitches. (this is only to me)
JIM IS SO UNCOMFRTABLE ALSO (and archie?) god. i desperately want happy izzy & jim dynamics i think they would work SO good, neither of them want to touch an emotion with a ten foot pole wtf please get jim out of there and a knife in their hand.
god. god. theres so much here. the crew dynamics. izzy found family canon confirmed i love it so much. this is everything ive ever wanted izzys getting love! hes getting a good arc! hes making allies and friends and they care about him!!!! theyre worried about him!!!!!!
god. i was already so excited for season 2 but this is everything to me. i just know this is going to be so good. i have SO much faith
#my sweet friend reading this: hm ive read some of these words before#hi my beloved yes i rehashed some of this from our conversation i only have so many thoughts#ill probably build off some of these individual points at some point but feel free to take them and run already#i just had to get this down on page#im just screaming holy shit izzy arc izzy arc#i cannot be normal about thius#nyxtalks#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#izzy hands#israel hands
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fuck it, have my unnecessarily personal review that i left on letterboxd (i literally only made a letterboxd account like 3 days ago and this is my first and only review ahfhdg)
"i only just finished watching this film about 2 hours ago and for the first while after, i didnt know how to feel. i went into this movie knowing it was a trans metaphor (and that was the only thing i knew), and it definitely was. there were some things i didnt understand until i saw other peoples discussions of it, and some parts i still dont entirely understand, but i think i understand enough.
mind you, i am trans and ive known for years, im just bad at picking up metaphor sometimes. i think it doesnt help that i went into it expecting it to be a very different kind of metaphor because, well... i dont think ive ever seen a trans story like this. the one where they explore someone rejecting their identity and living their life refusing to believe it, even though theyre suffocating to death. i love any trans story (that isnt hateful of course), but they tend to be the same kind. this one wasnt. im glad it wasnt.
for about an hour after i couldnt stop thinking about the final scene, in the birthday room. i hoped i would stop thinking about it eventually, i was trying to move on with my day, but it just wouldnt leave. i rewatched it on youtube and i read the comments, and as i made my own comment i just started sobbing, and i couldnt stop.
that breakdown scene in that birthday room has been how ive felt for so long, but i cant just scream like that. hell, ive felt like that in so many ways that arent even related to my trans identity. just that throat-tearing scream, begging for help, im dying, help me... and then being sorry that i even dared feel that way, and then screaming for my mother. i am so weak when it comes to stories about mothers nowadays, i lost my own mother a few years ago. so hearing that scream hurt.
and of course, the fact that no one acknowledges it. everyone else is frozen, like they arent even there. no one even looked their way for those last few minutes. no one responded. even as they apologized to everyone in sight, no one cared. someone asked if they were okay, but we dont even see them.
my entire life has been me screaming from the inside, but never out. and no one sees it. no one sees me. ive never seen another scene like this ever. it tore into my soul and plastered it into the screen, telling me to look at myself.
im also in a big time of change in my life. im about to go back to school after dropping out, and ive been isolated for 7 years from the world... on the youtube video of the final scene, someone said 'this is what its like going down a path in your life, and then realizing it was the wrong one, and that you wasted years of your life that you will never get back' and that hurt. that hurt so much because it was true. i went down a path that i can never change, and i just want to scream until i cant anymore. i just wanted someone to help me. all i could ever do was help myself.
what an amazing movie. there will always still be time. never forget that there will always still be more time."
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Honestly my biggest fear is to end up writing my characters the same way vivzie does, I feel like she doesn't even try on certain characters(female characters and literally any other that isn't her "uwu baby boi must be protected at all costs" characters like stolas, angel dust). Like imagine completely missing the point of your own character/srs
to everyone pre-release worries and anxieties just as much as I have-- Please take this time to read or explore different interests of books or authors of subjects and genres you like ! In the era of internet where the golden age of information is rusting into brainrot, the less time online anymore the better. I've been taking javascript/python tutorials for myself attempting to make a dating simulator for literal years at this point and its bounced around to the point of where I branched off to develop my own murder mystery 2-d sidescroller !
I wish for this to be a farewell letter to the crushed hopes and dreams I had for the original hazbin pilot and crew has moved on to other things whereas viv attempted to spitefully keep a story she clearly doesn't have any passion over- it is very evident over her lack of care for her own characters purely for the monetary gains of attempting and sadly wriggling her way into industry the way she did is so abhorrent to the world of genuine art and animation I grew up with.
Has Vivzie ever read a Felix the Cat comic strip or Dilbert even Hägar The Horrible? Does she even know about the history and strive of depth that animation has been at for hundreds of years? Does she even like comics, clearly not if she doesn't even have the patience to write her own and horribly rush whichever story she's interested in that day. I've never seen a careless writer be this selfishly unashamed to write literal garbage and surface level 'intrigue' of design and then falling flat face first at EVERY step. Hope she becomes as unbearable of a director as John K. is because honestly even though I'm cringing making that comparison, it's pretty fair in my book considering the outright ABUSE she has always trying to talk or hoard artists into her 'pet project' I recommend above anything else to watch Dan Stamanolous' 'Moral Orel' if you want an actually funny dark comedy or Christy Karacas' fast paced dark horror comic-come-to-life Superjail! for good animattion that doesn't belittle its audience... *[Trigger Warnings for Adult Swim-esque outdated 2007 humor and light transphobia, read for your own triggers if you dont want to though, please!]
The fact that Stollitz is written so flimsily like a wattpad fanficiton of tropes rolled into one is astounding to me, I used to like the dynamic pre-season 2 as I've mentioned on here and @tired-hellowl so I really don't want to get a headache going into how I USED to like it-Realizing the problematic consent issues all of STOLASS is, I physically cannot watch another Helluva or Hazbin promo anymore without rolling my eyes into the back of my head.
To the anons and people who used to also enjoy vivs work, there are other artists and there are other stories to tell. If you wish to be inspired from Dante's Inferno/Hell or WESTERN CHRISTIAN BASED RELIGION keep in mind what source material you're doing because I don't even think vivzie has picked up the bible once in her life.... And I say this as a drifter in the world who believes in reincarnation I don't really vibe with the athiest stereotypes however, I don't believe in most religion but more power to people that do get hope and love from their teachings and cultures.
She entirely missed the mark for several years, nearly a decade. Viv has had time and time again chance and opportunity to give a chance of storytelling with demons and what does she do? Adult Cartoon that has the demons scream 'FUCK SHIT DAMNIT DAMNIT LOOK IM SO HORNY AND SILLY AND WACKY WOAHH THE SCREEN IS CONSTANTLY MOVING YOU CAN NEVER HAVE A SECOND TO BREATH IN ANY AMOUNT OF WORLBUILDING OR SETTING BECAUSE FUCK. YOU.'--
I have said this time and time again- there is no substance or worth about Helluva Bosses or Hazbins writing, even without the show not being released because Amazon seems ashamed about it, I know it'll be a shitshow.
Honestly at this point I agree with the redesign community, take any character you used to like and rewrite them until it's unrecognizable from the original source material, let those fuckers in space fight alien pirates or hell take them out of the heaven and hell trope and just flip it on it's head entirely out of earth or wherever you want to set your story! I'm personally redesigning angel to be a slight aid to my addiction help via rewriting him into my murder mystery heheh while keeping the sexual abuse and recovery in mind because woah that shit happened to me too man !!!
I wish the best to any future writers, animators, programmers, lovers of animation or art, you can do what you put your mind and hands to! Spread more positivity and love then hate in this world please guys, this'll be the last time I pop in I promise I'm trying to get a better job and hopefully get accepted in a community college that i've been on the fence over trying to do more online coding ! The sky is the limit!<3
#anti vivziepop#trash askbox#helluva critical#i dont want to be mean in the tags and overtag like i usually do#however#vivziepop critical#please stop supporting spindlehorse#please stop supporting vivziepop#anti helluva boss#genuine art criticism#genuine art tip box#<3 signing off#!!! <3#my.silley.art
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