#i dont take money for kids shows (even though those are the WORST) and i dont take money if the program is being hosted by

[cosmicrhetoric]

i think i might actually start stage managing as a side hustle.....for years ive been a last min "we need someone are you free?" call for friends and friends of friends (and now friends of friends of friends) but after enough layers of separation its like. oh. this isn't a favor im doing for someone anymore lol you're actually just hiring me

[thejustknowing]

"I NEVER said That!!!

The Truth I couldn't see.

By: VAD

My Story

He tells you are being irrational, that you really need help. He tells you he's moving out and taking your little girl because he needs so badly to start a manipulative argument. He tells you to "Fuck Off" and calls you a victim and tells you it's all your fault. He makes false references about your own childhood to try to break you apart. He thinks he can still convince you of things about yourself that arent true, he wants to so bad. You can tell he truly misses those days. When he could gaslight you and play confusing mind games disguised as a conversation you 'think' you are having with your husband; about something real.

It's something wrong in your relationship that you actually want to fix so you tirelessly try and try because you want things to be OK again. Over time though, this constant cycle sucks all of your energy and everything that is good out of you, but you don't know that yet. You feel broken hopeless and destroyed and you dont understand why, but you eventually start to realize that something is very very wrong. You must have missed something somewhere, this no longer even resembles an argument you would have in healthy realtionsuip, probably not even in most unhealthy ones. It's irrational, it's confusing, it skips around from one thing to another, its fact twisting, it's blaming, it's accusing, it's getting another person's pain and problems thrown at you and piled up until you cant breathe at all. At it's worst, it's doubting your own perception of anything because of someone telling you that you're crazy over and over and over. He is starting to convince you that you remember things wrong, and saying that you make stuff up in your head. It's someone denying what they have said so many times that you can't be 100% sure of anything. Your trust in yourself is dwindling. You start to ask yourself "Who is this person in the mirror? It's being told that 'you' said what 'they' are denying having said, even though they said it to your face two minutes ago. It's being locked out of your house in the middle of January with shorts and a tank top on. It's being told you are a horrible person and nobody likes you. It's being told you cant be trusted to do anything right and then getting guilt tripped because they have to do everything and you do nothing. It's having your baby used against you, it's being threatened to have your baby taken to a hotel by someone who is drunk because, "What you deserve is to be in a dark house with the power out, alone." It's being told that the cops are coming and it's because YOU are the actually the abuser and you are scaring them. It's real FEAR. It's slamming doors, sighs, silent treatments, and dirty looks. It's lies aimed to control how other people view you. It's an argument about money, laundry, what time the kids should be in bed, work, who left the lights on, a dropped dish, spilled milk, the way you said something, a choice you made. It's everything you do is wrong, and it's not Real. It's dealing with it, and on some level knowing, and saying nothing because you know it will make things worse. It's walking on eggshells every single day. It's downplaying your sucessess, it's really jealousy and deep resentment of your accomplishments, but you don't know that yet. You just aren't good enough, and that even what you thought was good about yourself isn't. Your strengths, talents and most admirable traits were the first thing he targeted, but you don't know that yet. The constant and unending ridicule and forever reminders of even the tiniest mistakes. You are careful never to make a real error in judgment or a bad decision because he will never stop reminding you. He will say "The truth hurts, doesn't it" He will exploit and expose any weakness or vulnerability you show him, he does not have the capacity to genuinely love, he has no regard for the feelings of other's. He is a victim when when presented with any information suggesting he is at fault. He is a victim to control you and suck out your compassion even after he breaks you down for hours. He has a huge RED Flag, and it's one of many you don't know you missed yet. He is 100% incapable of admitting he did or said anything wrong. He cannot take responsibility, he only knowe how to blame, twist and project. He is not capable of a genuine apology because 'You' are the problem and he is the victim. His personality makes him capable of one of the worst and most dangerous forms of abuse. You don't know it yet but you never did anything wrong, you were never the problem. You didn't deserve this.

It's slow and intentional and you can't understand it yet. You think this person loves you and would never try to hurt you. You are so wrong though, and if you don't figure it out soon you might never recover. How can you be a mom to this beautiful baby if you don't figure out what has changed in you? How do you get up for work and do your job that "the old you" used to excel and thrive at? How will you and be able to function much longer if you can't find your confidence and strength, 'your edge'. You don't know how to survive without the one thing about you you've always counted on when everything else was gone. But it's no use, it's not inside you anymore. It's gone. You ask yourself how could this happen? How could you have let this happen and not see it coming so you could stop it. You start researching and searching for something, anything to fix this. You'll one day be an expert on this type of personality disorder and the pattern of behavior that goes with it, but not yet. You've always been able to fix anything, but you can't fix this. You hit bottom, and you do the only thing left to do when you are truly helpless. You beg and pray to God and angels to help you. You can't get through this on your own, you beg for help and look up at the sky while tears roll down your face, you cling to hope.

To your complete suprise the help does come, and it quickly, within days. The help sent to you is unfamiliar and strange, it's almost spiritual. It's an untravelled path of self realization of how you ended up where you are. But this is no quick fix. You don't understand for a long time that there is no quick fix for this, and why. Help is sent in all different forms you couldn't see before, you start a sort of awakening. You start to see signs, coincidences, information, people appear in your life that seem to have been strategiclaly placed there at just the right time. it's amazing. But the dark realizations keep coming. As you put all the pieces together and start to truly understand what happened, you really hit the fucking bottom. You'll see later that this is the only way to come back to life, but not yet. This is the lowest and darkest place there is. You could easily stay in that place forever because getting yourself back to where you were, and who you used to be seems more and more impossible the more you come to terms with the reality of it all. There is nothing of what was. You can't even muster up the courage to ask for help because you are so ashamed of yourself and you are constantly blaming yourself for being so blind and so naive.

The worst is over now, but you don't know it yet. You are still just trying to survive. One thing you come to realize at rock bottom is that you have two choices, and that one of them is giving up and believe me it will be the obvious choice. It seems like the only way out, but it means giving up on your chance to be the Mommy your baby was meant to have, before all this. It means giving up on the "YOU" that you remember being your whole life. I know for an absolute fact that God, the Universe (undoubtabley both) showed me the ONE tiny glimmer of "the old me" that was left, and for good reason. They knew that Giving Up is something "She" would NEVER choose. She would FIGHT and SEARCH and never stop until she found a way, just like she always had; with or without her edge.

So that's what she did, with no idea if it was even possible at all or if it would ever work. Two long painful years of exploration, awakening and trust in "the plan", and I started feel like me again; the NEW me. The old me was gone and I came mourn ans accept that over time. I hid this journey from every other person on the planet even those closest to me. I faked a smile, worked as hard as I could and hid the ugly, shameful truth. Out of the darkest place I began to emerge a new better version of myself, one I didn't know was inside of me. It turned out this whole experience was the start of a new phase of my soul's journey. I had a new purpose, and I understood the "Old Me" wasn't meant to travel with "Me" this far. So I left her behind and kept going. I understood the laws of attraction and the power to manifest strength where there is none. I now had faith, I realized my gifts, I came back. So much of 4 years of my life is still gone, my daughter is now 5. There are huge parts of these years l still can't remember. I see pictures of birthdays and special events that I don't recognize. I will continue to write In hopes of bringing back the precious memories of my little baby girl, memories still covered and buried by the painful ones that I unknowingly blocked. I am a survivor of a long encounter with a monster I could have never seen coming. They don't teach you about these kind of monsters, even though are the REAL ones. They don't live under your bed or in the dark scary attic at night. They don't wear scary masks that you can see or have horns or sharp teeth. They look like whatever you want them to, they look like love and infatuation and friendship, sometimes they look like your parent. They are all the same, they have the same cruel games and tricks up their sleeve to break you. And trust me if you think you are unbreakable or immune to this, think again. I was one of strongest, most confident and intelligent woman I knew at 30, this nightmare started before I turned 32. I hope to someday be ready to educate as many people as I can about narcissistic abuse and about the hundreds of subtle little tactics that people use to slowly destroy you. There ARE red flags and they can be stopped from harming you. If this sounds anything like your life, know you are not alone and know that this is a sign. You were meant to see this.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Red hair as roses, and turquoise eyes as orchids

"Dada look!" The bored and depressed blue eyes stood up from his lap to his 6 years old daughter, extending her tiny hands up high in the air.

"Be careful with what you're gonna do pretty doll." He manage to smirk a bit as she pouted, strands of red brushing against her forehead until a huge wave of flames of the colour blue danced around her hands until she jumped and a small prinkle of flames were throw in the air.

She laughed at the sign and clapped her hands in glee at her own little show as Dabi let out a chuckle at seeing the happines of his daughter... instead of him, Emika had the blessing of having a body that could tolerate the heat enough of his quirk that she inherited it from him. Your quirk itself being a huge help for the little girl to not have scars as her father's.

"Did you see Dada?! It was soooo huge and beautiful!!!" She ran towards him only to trip and thankfully landed on the brunette male's lap, giggling with a smile so bright that could've hury his eyes.

"Hmm. Almost like mine princess, im impressed." His hands carresed her chubby cheeks until he heard murmuring behind them.

Of course. Even with his disguise, that were people whose were going to mutter, say bad things... he lost count on how many times Emika had been bullied because her quirk was similiar with the most cruel and wanted villain....

And much to his dismay, Emika didn't take that... very well.

"WHAT ARE YOU WHISPERING ABOUT?! LEAVE US ALONE!" the little girl shouted and the adults only scoffed, picking up their kids and getting out of the park.

"You're going to scare off anyone with that attitude of yours princess." He muttered while carresing her red hair and picking her up as she scoffed.

"They cant say bad things about MY dada!" He smiled at the little girl and sighed.

"Yeah yeah, just lets get out of here before you burn things down."

"Thats something you would do!" She poked his scarred cheek. "Ne ne dada? We gonna visit mama right? I want to bring flowers to her this time!"

His eyes dropped at the ground as his feet carried them to the cemetery...

"We can arrange that."

.

.

.

"Mama was so pretty!!!" Emika squealed as Spinner and Toga showed her some photos as Dabi stared holes into their skulls.

Is not that he didn't wanted his daughter to forget or to not know about her mother... but it was painfull enough to have a father as a villain, now being a mother orphan was just more harder.

Emika couldn't go to school without being recognized as Dabi's daughter. So he brought himself the task to teach her things , being thankfull to his past self that he had studied enough.

"Yeah and she was strong as fuck too according to your dad there." Spinner grinned, showing a picture of you pinning down a hero on the middle of the street.

"Emika-chan, despite not meeting (Y/n) you look so much like her!" Toga beamed with a smile, fangs showing and the little girl giggling when Dabi just yanked her away from the two.

"Naaaaaa dada no bed time!" She squirmed as he carried her to now the comfortable room the league gotten ever since the incident with Shigaraki and Redestro.

"Dont complain or else Im going to take away your toy." He grumbled as the girl gasped and pouted at him much like you would do.

"You wouldn't!" She defies him with a cheeky smile although while settling down on the bed she shared with him.

"Try me." He smirked with a atched eyebrow making her laugh.

Some time passed and Dabi watched as the eyelids of Emika slowly dropped until she called him softly.

"This place we are now... we gonna stay or are the bad man breaking it and we have to move again?" His heart clenched.. she still had the memories when the league had captured that blonde kid and the heroes busted the bar...

With her own view, she saw the villains as the good and normal people despite Toga being a crazy assasin that loved drinking blood, Shigaraki a men that only wanted to destriy the world, Twice a bipolar man and the list goes on...

Emika saw the villains as good people, and the heroes as bad ones... after all, after she found out on her own that her mother died not because of childbirth, but because of a hero that accidentally killed her with a much too strong attack... and only because she wanted to protect the baby on her arms at that time.

So much blood dropped from his eyes... some even dropping on your lifeless body and on the crying baby he soon noticed that thankfully was alive.

He would never forget whem he craddled the baby on his arms and sobbed deyly as his child wailed at not having the warmth of her mother anymore.

Things were tough until they found the league of villains and had at peast a place to crash.

Emika was now soudly asleep as he sighed and brushed his hair.

"When the heroes come to us... I will make sure yoi stay outta of the mess Emika. But you will not like to know the truth about our origins..." he muttered as a scarred hand brushed her bangs and smirked when she nuzzled on his hand... reminding him of how you would nuzzle on him on cold nights...

"Time to sleep off huh? The more we sleep, the pess we have to face the reality." He muttered before laying down and bringing her close to his chest.

.

.

.

"Dada..." she whimpered as fat tears fell feom her turquoise eyes as she tremblingly holded the box of paper towels, helping him clean off the blood from his stapples as he took a final look on the mirror, his white hair finally at show for the first time in so many years.

"Hey," he crouched down and made his best to not wince "I'm fine. Daddy is used to this by now and-"

"bUT I'M NOT!" she yelled and punched his chest with her tiny fist as he frowned and holded her as she sobbed on his chest.

"...Is it true..?" He looked down at the tuff of red hair on his chest "That uncle Twice is not coming back..? That.. T-That grandpa did this to you..m that we are from the family of E-Endeavour?"

He frowned and wiped her tears away as she holded his wrist while sobbing at the loss of Twice, whose always played and made silly faces with her on spare times.

"Yeah... Im sorry for not telling you... but I thought that... Me and your mother actually decided that Emika (L/n) was better than puttingnon a fake and... well, not right name on yours."

"... which hero... killed... mama..?" His heart stopped... should he reaally tell her? She was only a baby of five years.. five fucking years... he was already damaged by society, but her was just a little flower growing...

"Princess.. I-"

"Who?!" She sobbed as his eyes dropped, a heavy sigh as he dinally sit down on the edge of the sofa as he put his hand on his face as the other helped her sit on his lap.

"... your grandpa."

.

.

.

Emika cried heraelf to sleep that night. Wailing that she hated the heroes, that she hated Endeavour, that she hated him for not telling her the truth for so long, that she hated having fo be a Todoroki.

Each word was a spike to his chest as he tried and eventually succeed on calming her down enough, from harsh sobs and eails to soft sniffles and the rest of the tears she had to sheed.

He hugged her just a bit tighter that night as one drop of blood fell from his eyes.

"I thought I could do it (Y/n)... I fucking promised you... but... fuck." He bited his bottom scarred lips to contain a whimper "Everything is just the worst now... why did you have to be so goddamn stubborn and risk your life dammit..."

.

.

.

"Is your fourth bowl of ice cream ya know?" Dabi muttered from his place on the miserable yet comfy apartment you two shared as you stared back at him with a spoonfull of your favorite ice cream on hand close to your mouth.

"I have the right. I'm pregnant. Leave me be." You made a show of putting the spoon on your mouth and moaning out loud as Dabi shooked his head in dismay before taking a place on your side ofbthe couxh before you two cringed at the sounds of the old mobile almost creaking.

"We need to got money to find a new couch." You muttered horrified, just apmost ending all of your money on baby supplies and clothes.

"Or I can just steal one." He smirked at the slight slap you gave to him.

"And have shitty heroes coming our way later? Nu uh mister... maybe just rob a bank though." You muttered before both of you chuckled as you laid your head on his shoulder as he subconsciously placed his hand on the sweel of your stomach and felt a kick already.

"She is going to be a daddy's girl. Im so sure of it." You giggled as he arched an eyebrow.

"How cam you say this already? We dont even know if it is a girl of a boy doll."

"I know is a girl. I just know it. And she has already a favorite parent." You carresed your belly just besides where Dabi's hand was layed on.

"You're exaggerating." He chuckled as he felt another kick "They are going to be a nasty oen though, they kick alot."

"She kicks a lot when your nearby or talking to her. Just like I said, a daddy's girl." You smiled sweetly at him and he never felt so happy...

He looked at your lips for a second as you narrowed your eyes playfully at him before your lips almost touched-

.

.

.

He woke up with a hand tapping on his cheek and soon saw his daughter looking down at him with a pout.

"Can we go walk?" She almost whimpered as he could only stare and slowly nod as he caught his disguise and a very own for her.

.

.

.

She clunged to the black bunny plushie as she walked with pinks connected to him as he stated down at her in worry until she gasped at a convenience store.

"Dada! Snickers!" She pointed as he smiled at seeing a bit of bright on her eyes once again.

"How about we get some, eh?" She nodded with a small smile and soon followed her dad inside.

While she waited for Dabi to get the snacks and pay for them, for once, she gasped when a purple haired boy at the same age as her bumped accidentaly to her making her plushie drop.

"Hey!" She called out with tears on her eyes, being emotionally damaged enough for those past days.

"I'm sorry." The boy said immediatly, kneeling and grabbing the plushie to hand it to her "Its yours?" He tilted his head as Emika grabbed immediatly.

"Of course it was! It was with me until you bunped on me!" Emika slowly dropped her tone of voice at seeing how the purple haired boy seemed genuily sorry as he aproached and bowed once again.

"Sorry, I just am here to grab some medice and a chocolate for my mom and dad. They're both sick and they dont know i went out so I needed to hurry." He smiled as Emika soon dropped slowly her guard down as she muttered.

"Is okay... is just that bunny is speacial to me."

"I can see why. Your mama gave it to you right." Her turquoise eyes widened as she frowned her eyebrows at the boy.

"Kinda of..?" She clinged to the toy "Why do you that?"

He closed his eyes with a tiny giggle.

"Well, she told me as soon as you started to tear up. She is always by your side aparently." Emika eyes darkned and she let go of one hand of the plushie to heat up her hand.

"Say that one more time. I dare you. My mama is not here." She almost cried until the purple boy touched her forehead with two fingers and soon she was not more in the grocery store, but in a blank space.

"HEY YOU!" she shouted "THIS IS NOT FUNNY LET OUT YOU FUCK-"

"Geez, daddy did not spare you of curse words then?" She froze and looked behind her and saw the sane woman Dabi showed photos of and was compared whenever she was laughing or making a trick on others.

She froze for a bit before silently tears started to fall and she hiccupped for a bit before dropping her bunny and running to you as you hugged her tightly.

"Mama! I cant believe-! Is you-! I-I-" she hicupped as you wiped her tears with your thumb and let some of your own fall.

"You're take so much of your dada im so happy... My little girl is just so beautiful..." you whispered as she sobbed while wiping her tears with her sleeve.

"D-Dada!" She gasped before smiling widely and grabbing your sleeve "Dada needs to see this! Mama he misses you a lot he need to see yo-"

"Im sorry princess..." you grabbed her cheek softly "I wanted to see your daddy just as much, but I cant...." her face fell a bit but soon nodded while playing with your fingers and hair.

"Mama? Why did you do it?" You hummed as she looked up hesitantly "Why did youbleave dad? Why... you took.. Endeavour attack..?" She asked sadly as you furrowed your eyebrows but soon closed your eyes and smiled.

"Emika... the day you were born was the day I was gone as well... but when I saw your grandpa recognizing me as a villain and blasted an attack close to where you were... I just had to. I had to protect the feuit of love that me and your father made..." you smiled sadly as she sniffed.

"But you arent with us..." she almost sobbed until you made her look up.

"Emika... Im so sorry for the loneliness you had to endure... the pain... that was the only dowside of the decision I made. My swest little girl..." you cuppex her cheek and wiped a tear "Thank you for letting me be your mother, and Touya for being your father..."

You touched your forehead with her as she noticed your body was slowly turning to tiny hints of lights and fireflies.

"Mama..?" She looked at you crying softly as you kissed her forehead.

"Emika, evertime you see a star in the dark sky it will be me watching over you and your dada... and please understand one thing," you got away from her as your hair floated majestically "Dying for you, was a noble sacrifice I did for love..."

She widened her eyes as she grabbed your hands as you giggled at her expression.

"Say to dada Im watching him too, and that loving him were the happier moments I spend... I love him and always will...after all, he is my canolli, dead or not, okay?"

The littpe girl gasped and looked at the place she was, the grocery store and the boy from earlier retracting his hand with a unsure littpe smile.

"It was your quirk... you... you made me talk with my mama." She says outstruck as the boy giggled but soon gasped at looking the time.

"I have to go! But I hope we meet again." He ran to the door with the bags before looking one more time behind to her "Call me Akira! See you soon Emika-chan!"

She stood there in complete shook before brushing her fingers on the tingling spot you had kissed on her forehead before smiling widely and giggling before knocking her daddy's leg as he grunted.

"Emika what the-"

"Mama is watching us!" She bounced up and down as he atood with a 'what the fuck' expression.

"What the hell Emika?" He grabbed the packs and carried her as he walked on the street.

"Mama said your name is Touya dada! Which I found strange at first but anyway! She kissed my forehead! Hugged me and said how much she loves me and you and is watching us! She is a star dada! A star!!"

His eyes widened. Emika didn't hear his speech to Endeavour. Emika didn't know his real name was Touya instead of Dabi as the league called him... so she was not imagining neither making things up.

"..so you saw mama?" She giggled and nodded while boucing on his arms. "... did she say something else?" He asked hopefully and she smiled widely as much as you would do.

"She said loving you was the most happier she got! And that your are her canolli forever!"

His steps faltered and almost that he dropped his daughter as his eyes widened... only you knew that god for saken nickname you gaved to him...

"Dada?" His daughter words and hands on his cheeks made him ho back to reality as he saw the blood on his little girl's fingers and worried expression "Are you crying..? Dada?"

"Heh..." he wiped with one thumb the blood before smilling at her and continuing walking "Nah. Must be one of my staples..." he stared up as his daughter rested her face on his neck. "Mama is a star then?"

"Ya.." she yawned "Watching us... I bet she is that one." The little girl pointed at the shiniest star on the sku as Dabi smiled...

"Yeah... I also bet on that one."

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from The Lost Tomb, part 3

I didn’t mean for this to stray into angst but like the lack of updates with Li Cu in LTR?? I had to do it to em.

Wushanju Crew Chat, 11:05pm

Li Cu: what’s up losers I’m outside

Li Cu: someone come on and open the damn door

Wang Meng: Language:(

Li Cu: fine, someone come on and open the damn door please

Snake Eyes Chat, 7:00am

Wu Xie: hey are you awake? Sorry I missed you coming in:) was finishing up some work. How was the end of your first semester? Did that geology paper go well? Did the food budget work out or do you need some extra money next semester?

Li Cu: yeah about your work

Li Cu: heard a little rumor

Li Cu: about you going through some stuff during ur recent trip

Li Cu: some stuff you maybe forgot to mention

Li Cu: and you told me we gotta check in with stuff, so this is me checking in, okay

Wu Xie: oh? What stuff?

Li Cu: idk just like

Li Cu: THE STUFF WITH YOU ALMOST FUCKING DYING FOR FUCKING MONTHS AND THE WAREHOUSE SHIT AND ERJING AND PEOPLE HURT YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A THUNDER CITY AND NOONE FUCKING CALLED ME ABT THOSE PARTS ONCE

Wu Xie: oh. That stuff.

Li Cu: yeah asshat I’m in the kitchen whenever you’re ready to explain your fucking bullshit. Also you’re out of milk wtf how am I supposed to make breakfast here

Main Chat, 11:14am

Wu Xie: okay so it’s possible I fucked up a little bit.

Wang Pangzi: THERES JUST SO MUCH YOU COULD BE REFERRING TO I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START

Zhang Qiling: What’s wrong?

Honorary Wu Chat, 11:30am

Wang Pangzi: KID IM SO SORRY THAT PUNK IS A TRAINWRECK BUT YOU KNEW THAT

Wang Meng: Welcome home, Li Cu <3 not much has changed, ultimately.

Wang Pangzi: IT DIDNT EVEN OCCUR TO ME THAT HE WOULDNT TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT IT ONCE THE REST OF US FIGURED IT OUT

WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

Li Cu: it’s okay. not your fault, uncle. Doesn’t matter how I found out. Wait wait hold on what do you mean “the rest of us figured it out” who figured it out

Wang Pangzi: SAY HELLO LIU SANG

Liu Sang: …hello.

Wang Pangzi: SAY MORE THAN THAT.

Liu Sang: uh…so you’re Wu Xie’s protégé, huh?

Li Cu: oh well howdy there homewrecker

Liu Sang: Excuse me??

Zhang Qiling: I think someone on the roof is calling me and I should go find out.

Wang Meng: I would also very much like to be removed from this conversation.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHAHA KIDDO IVE MISSED YOU

Li Cu: all I’m saying is aren’t you the little creep who’s obsessed with Xiao Ge

Liu Sang: ???

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu is referring to a brief period of irrational thought on Wu Xie’s part, where he mistakenly believed you to be a threat to our relationship.

Liu Sang: what do you mean a threat??

Wang Pangzi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TIANZHEN HAD “A BRIEF PERIOD OF IRRATIONAL THOUGHT”

YOUVE MET YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT

Wang Meng: can you please take me off this chat.

Liu Sang: Wait, so Wu Xie told you about me, but…reading between the lines, he didn’t mention the cancer or anything bad that happened? Oh yikes.

Li Cu: don’t change the subject “Liu Sang”

if that is your real name

Like yeah you’re right abt it but still

just saying

heard you got good ears but I’ve got snake powers

kinda

so like no more funny business okay you superhearing harlot

Wang Meng: LANGUAGE, LI CU. IN THIS HOUSE WE SHOW GOOD MANNERS.

Wang Pangzi: LMAO OH DO WE NOW

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu, this is all unnecessary and childish. Please apologize.

Li Cu: you say that now bruh but apparently you weren’t complaining when he was all “idol this” and “idol that”

oh and hey Wang Meng while we’re here can I show you my business class grade report later bc Wu Xie is all “what matters is that you learned and enjoyed the experience” blah blah all eat pray love you know how he gets and I want to actually discuss areas to improve so that when I take over this joint I do better than Wu Xie? Tho that shouldnt be hard lol

Wang Meng: hurtful but accurate. I’ll bring my best red pen:)

Liu Sang: oh my god. I’m too jetlagged to keep up with any of this.

Wang Pangzi: BEST. DAY. EVER. IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR HEI XIAZI.

Not A Homewrecker Chat, 11:52am

Liu Sang: Okay, we started off on the wrong foot.

Li Cu: I agree let’s start over

Start with how your little prank game almost got ppl killed

Liu Sang: And I seriously regret that. But we moved past that.

Wow, he seriously skipped over so much bullshit but didn’t skimp on mine, huh.

Li Cu: AHA so you ADMIT IT

Liu Sang: I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. That I’ve come to see Xiao Ge as a person and mentor, rather than an idol. I count Pangzi and Wu Xie as my close friends. I’m going to be staying here with them right now, I hope you can be okay with that.

Li Cu: see in my head you were going to be a lot less mature about it and I had a bunch of great follow-up insults planned

Liu Sang: I figured. I’d like us to be friends, though. Or at least not enemies.

Li Cu: okay but only bc you don’t know me yet so you won’t judge too much for this and I need to get this out to somebody I’ve been thinking about it for hours and my friends are still in finals and I’m stressing a little bit maybe

Liu Sang: ?

Li Cu: I yelled at dad

*Wu Xie sorry autocorrect

Liu Sang: …uh huh.

Li Cu: I yelled at him earlier. for keeping all that stuff from me. He started crying

Liu Sang: Wu Xie has been pretty emotional since we got back. Not necessarily your fault.

Li Cu: I made him cry right there at the kitchen sink and it felt like maybe the worst thing I’ve ever done

Snake venom and stabbings, no tears

Me saying I wouldn’t have gone to his funeral, all tears

Which I know was shitty to say but I was really mad

Liu Sang: If it’s any consolation, I think Wu Xie can understand the concept of being led by his emotions to make bad decisions…better than most people.

Li Cu: Xiao Ge came in then and looked weird

Like weirder than usual

Like he didn’t know which of us to be more mad at

Liu Sang: A common problem for the iron triangle, I understand.

Li Cu: I just ran out I didn’t have words right then and I feel stupid

but whenever they come back from their walk I’m gonna say sorry and stuff bc i could’ve come home to his funeral and I’m mad about it but also like. I could have come home to his funeral. I can get mean when I’m in a freakout mood. It’s not like I was scared or anything at all I don’t get scared really anymore ever but just like. Freaked out.

Liu Sang: He’s probably going to say sorry, too.

Li Cu: sorry I called you a homewrecker. Didn’t mean to slut-shame either

Liu Sang: I admit that after the initial shock, it was pretty funny. Super hearing harlot, it should be on my business card;)

Li Cu: this situation with Wu Xie is weird but kinda good ya know. And I have these freakouts sometimes that something maybe bad could happen to this situation. So consider this a shovel talk. But like, also not a shovel talk at the same time.

also I appreciate you saving his life and whatnot

Liu Sang: Noted. Now. Coffee?

Li Cu: sounds sick.

Be in the kitchen in 10. You can pick out what we watch for the household tv show tonight. no way is Wu Xie choosing some dry documentary about gravestone rubbings again. Pangzi just watches real housewives reruns and Xiao Ge won’t watch tv after he caught the last half hour of A Walk To Remember. Also i need my phone now to send some $ to Hei Xiazi since I owe him for…providing some intel

Liu Sang: Not even surprised.

[queenretcon]

the way the story ends

i dont usually post fic, but I finished this scene from that one jli story that’s always rattling around in my head

characters: ted kord, beatriz da costa, mentions of the JLI esp max

summary: Ted and Bea have an overdue talk.

words: 2k

It starts on the back steps of Ted’s El Paso home.

Maybe more accurately, it starts when Blue & Gold show up at Fire & Ice’s Malibu apartment, holding take out and talking about a new Justice League International. It’s a long string of events, of saying yes, that lead to everything led to.

But really, it starts on those brick steps, Bea nursing a blue cocktail Booster made and leaning one elbow haphazardly on Ted’s knee. Most of Ted’s worst ideas have come from a drunken Beatriz Bonilla Da Costa, but he’s never been one for good decisions.

The problem is that he’s still figuring out how to talk about it.

The dying, that is.

The being murdered. The vague memories of crawling from the dirt, brainfucked by a Black Lantern ring, reaching for his best friend’s throat. The coming back too late, after everyone had moved on into whoever they were without Ted dragging them back down.

Booster pays a very nice woman named Courtney a lot of Ted’s money every month so that he can sit on her comfy couch and dissect the whole lot of it.

But Ted’s never been good at therapy. He tried it, after his mom died, but he can’t make himself do it right. He cracks jokes at all the right moments—where he should be laying out all his easily exploitable vulnerabilities—and, well, therapists can’t work with the whole lot of nothing he gives them.

And he’s always been even worse at the heart-on-your-sleeve late night talks with Booster.

It’s easier with Bea though. He’s not sure why. Maybe it’s the older sister energy—he’d always wanted one as a kid—or maybe it’s that Bea’s like him. She knows the right moment to make a joke or play the right part, to leave Ted’s last guarded wall standing.

“It sucked,” she says, swirling around the drink in her hands. “Obviously.”

“Is it weird that hearing that makes part of me, y’know, horribly guilty and part of me, uh,” he pauses, staring out into sparse greenery of his yard, “flattered?”

Bea cackles, throwing her head back. Ted snickers under his breath as she almost empties her drink on her lap. “God! I’d feel the same way.”

“You’re invulnerable, I’m pretty sure,” he says. “So I’ll have to take your word for it.”

He watches the humor drain from her face.

“Me, Booster, and Guy. The leftovers.”

Ted reaches behind him for his drink, like more liquor will have magically appeared since he drained it. “Irony is you guys would have enjoyed seeing people miss you the most.”

That brings back the grin to her face. He wonders how many people have seen her like this: hair messy, lipstick smeared, thousand-watt smile coming out at the idea of being mourned. How many people know the brilliant, morbid survivor buried behind false bravado and push-up bras.

“What’s it like?” she asks, locking onto him with eyes too wide. “Being adored?”

Ted huffs under his breath.

Lonely.

“I don’t know how many people are actually mourning me, y’know?” he asks, like she could possibly know what it’s like to hold the completed biography of your life in your hands. Like she could know what it’s like to be the unwanted sequel to a damn good movie. “I don’t think the, like, uh.”

He pauses, and she sits patiently.

Bea used to be an interrogator. Is she using any of those hard-won skills without him knowing? Why can she pull things out of him even his best friend, soulmate, other half never could?

“Their perfect angel genius martyr,” he says, eyes fixed away from her. “I don’t think I’m him.”

“Of course not,” she says quietly. “Tora wasn’t either. There’s no room for nuance with the dead.”

He hadn’t thought about that.

“Huh.”

“It was weird, listening to people talk about her after,” Bea says, absently tilting her glass back and forth to watch the liquid drain this way and that. “All these people who’d never had a conversation with her, suddenly talking at me about my girl. Like they needed to mythologize her to mourn her or something. She couldn’t just be somebody who died young in a shitty way; she had to be this perfect, infallible angel ripped from us too soon.” She taps her purple nails against the glass, a staccato beat. “It felt like they were taking her away from me, a little bit, turning her into somebody else. Somebody easier for them to cry about.”

Does Booster feel this way? Ted doesn’t know. He knows he broke Booster a little bit, that the person Ted left in that hospital bed was different from the person who showed up all those months ago at Ted’s door, eyes red, heart clutched in his hands. But the specifics of it has been a burden too big to bear. He owes Booster to carry it, but he’s been writing Booster checks he can’t cash for a long time now.

“I wasn’t there for you,” Ted says, “when she died.”

“I know,” Bea says, mildly, like he’s reminding her of something previously discussed.

A long pause stretches taut between them. Ted tries to find the words, for a proper apology, for the way to fix the relationships he’s always kicking down.

“I forgave your corpse,” she says. “For a lot of things.” There’s another pause, then: “Dickbag.”

Ted snorts, then before he can consider if this is the time, he’s cackling, head thrown back, bwa-ha-ha, and Bea’s laughing, too, digging her nails into his knee, choking out, “Stop, shut up, I hate you, that wasn’t even funny, you are a dickbag.”

When their drunken giggle-fit subsides, her head is on his knee, “You can’t die again. It’s not allowed. I have like three friends.”

“Aw, you’ve got like five,” he assures her, patting her curls haphazardly.

“Barely,” she sighs, “and they keep turning into weird homoerotic will-they-wont-theys, like I need one person who’s always going to have ken doll anatomy in my head.”

“That’s a horrifying way to phrase that,” he informs her. She makes an attempt to reach back and pat his face. It’s not a very good attempt.

She’s always been easier to him than other people. Maybe it’s the shared, terrible sense of humor, or the fact she’s never going to be fake-nice to him, is always going to let him know when he’s getting on her nerves.

It occurs to him he could tell her. She wants to know, right? Everyone does, the nitty-gritty of his untimely murder. Alcohol buzzing in his head, the warm weight of her against his knee, he feels some key unlock in the vault of Ted’s Repressed Bullshit™.

“I’ve never, uh,” Ted pauses, trying to find the words. He’s been pulling absently on his hands without realizing. “I’ve never told anybody about this, but, uh, Max told me some stuff. Before, uh.”

Bea sits up, eyes wide for a quick flash, before they narrow darkly. “Like what?”

Booster doesn’t want to talk about Max, can’t handle hearing his name. Ted’s struggled with it, a little. There was this person—who Ted trusted, who Ted cared about, who Ted has gone to a million times when he needed help or advice or anything really—and then it was that person who fucked everything up forever. Who took everything from Ted.

And he still hasn’t processed it; not really.

But Bea’s different. Max and her—they’d been close. He was the only one she let still call her B.B.. On slow days, sometimes Ted would walk past Max’s office and find Bea with her feet propped up on Max’s antique wooden desk, looking smug while Max laughed over whatever witty thing she’d said this time.

Maybe she’s been waiting, just like Ted, for someone to say his name again the way they used to. Without the hard edge. Without the barely restrained fury. Like Max was the guy who gave them their big break and not just another in a long line of cardboard cut-out supervillains.

“About, uh,” he almost stutters out, still avoiding Bea’s gaze when he speaks, “us, I guess. I mean, the JLI. Like he talked about, y’know, he was the reason we kind of, uh, sucked I guess? Why we weren’t ever, y’know, great the way a Justice League was supposed to be. That it was him, fucking us over. Holding us back.”

When he turns to see her face, she looks—

Mad.

“And you believed that?” she asks. There’s a little bit of a bite to it, but it’s not the hot rage she aims at Guy. Ted feels suddenly that how he answers this question is very important.

“I guess. Yeah.”

Bea takes a long, long drink of her cocktail, draining the last of the blue out of her glass.

“We fought Despero. Twice. Survived the Joker. Protected this stupid fucking unappreciative world from Manga Khan and that Nebula bitch. Vampires. Manhunters. Lobo. More alien invasions. Killg%re.” Bea turns, green curls falling into her face, eyes hard. “Need me to keep fucking going?”

“I was there,” Ted says.

She sits up, throwing out her arms. “Then why are you talking about it like one of them?! We were great, Ted! We protected people! We saved the day! We just, just—

“We just didn’t do it the way they did,” she spits out, lips pulled back to show her canines as she does. He feels oddly detached, listening to her. She’s thought this before; she’s lined her mental ducks in a row; she’s—

Taken the brunt of it, hasn’t she?

The longest serving member of the JLI, as she reminds them often. The one who went down with the ship. The one who’s never had a statue in her honor or the invite to a more respectable team. Who was a decorated agent and Global Guardian before them and was the punchline to a joke about slutty Latinas after them.

After all of it, still loyal to the end.

He feels abashed, just a little.

“So what?” Ted asks. “You’re saying Max lied?”

“What I’m saying,” she says, like she’s been saying anything and not just unleashing years of pent-up aggressions, “is that J’onn spent literal years buddied up with Max. They were like, actual friends. They talked about J’onn’s family. Do you know anything about J’onn’s family?”

“No,” Ted admits. J’onn has a family?

“Right!” Bea says, gesturing excitedly at him. “He doesn’t talk about them! But he talked about them to Max. And like, look, we all knew Max was sketchy, right? Not a surprise. Fuck, we all thought he was a supervillain from the jump, but he wasn’t back then. I’d swear my fucking life, no, no,” she pauses, waving her hands and then pointing aggressively at Ted, “Kord, I’d swear all of our fucking lives he wasn’t back then. Because J’onn checked. He put aside all those sexy Martian morals—” God, she is drunk. “—to read Max’s mind.”

That’s compelling, actually.

But it also means he spent what he thought were his last moments letting some asshole lie to him and he bought it—even after spending months refusing to buy the lies he was getting from everyone else. So he puts up a token defense. “He could’ve been wrong, Bea. He’s only hu—uh, only Martian.”

Bea locks eyes with him, face suddenly serious where it was practically manic moments before. “I believe in J’onn J’onnz.”

And, y’know, yeah. So does Ted. He always has. Always will.

“So what’s more likely, Beetle? That J’onn failed to protect to us when he could have, or that Max Lord lied?”

When she says it like that, it’s so easy. The obvious truth.

But what it actually does is making everything wildly, wildly complicated. Despite the hot mess of pain it made his personal life, the event of his death was a straightforward sequence, a puzzle already done. Ted was killed by a threat always at his neck. Ted was killed because he was too stupid to understand that he’d let the devil into his living room. That was the final irony of his life: Ted Kord—the wunderkind, the child prodigy, the next great mind—died because there was someone smarter.

Ted Kord has held the biography of his life in his hands. Booster’s copy, with the little 50% off sticker hurriedly scratched off, sticky residue remaining, before it was pushed into Ted’s grasp. He’s seen the totality of his time on Earth wrapped up in 263 measly pages.

But it was time to rewrite the ending.

“Hey, Bea,” he says, suddenly grinning even when he knows he shouldn’t. “Do you want to help me solve my murder?”

[luvspence]

prom night

synopsis: you and spence both never got your own prom, maybe this makes up for it

{a/n: i’m projecting a little bit bc i missed my prom, but i hope this isn’t too cheesy}

——-

the east coast was your home

born and raised in dc, school in new york, work in virginia

you wouldn’t have it any different

except for the fact that you lived less than 20 mins outside your childhood home

you loved being able to be close to your family, but it had its downsides

“y/n can you pick up your brother

y/n can you run to the store for me

y/n can you pick up my dry cleaning”

and it was like you were in high school all over again

on one occasion you were at home with your mom and your baby sister, delaney, she was 17, so not much of a baby anymore

“so what’s the hot gos” you said taking a bite out of your gronola bar and looking your sister down

“ew”

“dont ‘ew’ me”

“well i got asked to the prom yesterday”

your mom nearly dropped her pan

“NO WAY”

“yes way, is it so hard to believe that someone would like me? i’m not y/n for crying out loud”

you gave her a light punch on the arm

“NOT FUNNY”

she wasn’t far from wrong though, you were the classic “nerd”

15 years ago when you were in her place, at the exact same high school, you were never asked to prom, you were too busy in math olympiad or physics club to ever want to attend prom

but that was 15 years ago, now you lost the braces and the acne, got 2 degrees, and had a very lovely boyfriend of your own

“it is though, you’re lucky you found spencer, two dorks made for each other” she said taking a sip of her water

“you’re such a bitch”

15 year age gap aside, you were still very much, sisters

“y/n, do you mind chaperoning? that way we don’t have to pay for a ticket” your mom asked

your sister blurted out “oh my god NO”

you were laughing so hard, usually this is the kind of thing you’d pass on, but it torturing your sister was so so so worth it

“okay i’m game, see you prom night”

——

“spencerrrrrrr” you trailed on as you sat next to spencer on the couch, staring deep into his hazel eyes

“yes my love?”

“do you love meeeeeeee???”

spencer rolled his eyes, he knew this is how you asked him for a favors

“to the moon and back, why??????”

“okay look, my baby sister, delaney, is going to the prom and i’m chaperoning her, and she called me and you dorks so we have to get back at her by embarrassing the hell out of her at her prom”

spencer laughed

“you’re no better than a petty 17 year old”

you rolled your eyes “so can we?”

he looked at you, than his eyes trailed from the calendar to his watch to you again

“of course”

“yes!” you gave him a hug and planted a kiss on his cheek

“i love you so bad spencer reid!” you said as you ran around the apartment

“even more!” he replied

—

“incoming call from spencer reid”

“hey y/n?”

“yes love?”

“what color dress are you wearing tonight?”

��green, why?”

“no reason...”

he said before he hung up

you laughed to yourself “what a dork”

you continued to brush the mascara on your eyes, getting ready for your very first prom night

you came running down the stairs in a dark green ankle length dress, while spencer waited to pick you up

he was wearing a suit with a matching bow tie to your dress

“that’s why you asked the color! you look dashing by the by”

you said as you leaned over and gave him a cheek staining kiss

“and this” he said as he handed you a beautiful green corsage arrangement

“spencer! for me? this is gorgeous”

you said as you slipped it onto your wrist

“yeah, penelope knows a guy”

“of course she does, and thank you! i can’t believe you’d go through all of this for me on fake prom” you said as he started driving toward your parents house

“hey this prom is not fake at all to me, i’ve never been to prom before”

you shrugged “me neither, i always thought it was dumb anyway”

“this is sort of embarrassing” spencer said scratching his head

“come on spencer it’s just me”

“okay, you know i went to highschool very young, i hadn’t even gone through puberty. i was the smallest guy in the class and that wasn’t purely based on my age. i was scrawny. but i had this grand idea of going to prom with the most beautiful girl. and i’d be all tal and handsome at that point, and i’d walk into that dance and stick it to all my bullies”

“that not embarrassing! i wish i wanted to go to prom like that. i guess i was too pretentious to go, i was an all star intellectual, there was no way i’d show my face at an event like prom”

“yeah, so i guess we both get do overs. and i get to live my prom dream. now i’m tall, and i have a beatiful girl by my side” he said as he smiled at you

“have i ever told you i love you?”

“not enough” he smiled as he pulled into your parents drive way

you got out of your car to wait inside with your sister for her date to arrive

eventually a tall girl with a equally as beautiful corsage in her hand ended up nervously swaying on the front door and she rang the door bell

spencer answered

“hi!”

“h-hi, mr. y/l/n” she said in a nevrous tone

spencer laughed out loud and you went to intervene

“oh my yeah he’s just my boyfriend, hi i’m delaney’s older sister y/n. no need to be nervous, there’s no dad around here. just a lot of siblings, my mom and my boyfriend!” you said as you welcomed her into the house

delaney went to take the corsage from her date, melanie

your mom lined you spencer and your sister and melanie up for what felt like 800 pictures before you finally decided to get into spencers car to the dance

in the car you turned around to the girls

“sooooo, how’d y’all meet”

delaney burried her head into her knees in embarrassment while her date explained

“well she was in my physics class, and it all went from there”

“physics!!! i love physics, is mr. scott still there?”

“yup he’s our teacher”

“sick” you said to yourself, reminiscing about your days in high school

eventually you pulled into your highschool parking lot, hooking arms with spencer as you walked toward then gym

“god does this bring me back”

you said to him

your sister whispered to her date “god she’s so old”

“HEY DELANY I HEARD THAT”

she gave you the stink eye and whispered in your ear

“please get as far away from me as possible”

all you did was nod as you watched the two of them skip into their dance

you looked up at spencer

“god you’re so cute, i wish i had you here in high school”

“i’m sure you had your boys”

“from the physics club? right”

you walked into the fully decorated gym, wandering around from the punch bowl to the photo booth, you and spencer watching the floor of kids dance to their hearts content

“i think i know why i skipped this in highschool”

spencer laughed

“ i would have killed to be in this very position when i was in high school”

you wrapped your arms around his neck and looked him in the eyes

“killed to be in prom in the first place or to be here with me?”

“with your of course”

he said as he met your lips for a kiss

obviously bringing spencer was a bad idea for your sabotage delany plan, because you got way too distracted with spencer by your side

you spent the entire night talking to him, dancing with him to the slow songs, taking funny pictures in the photo booth

high school stuff you guess

eventually when all the kids were slow dancing, you looked up at spencer

“wanna make a break for it?”

he didn’t know what that meant, but if it was with you he’d do it, so he just nodded and followed you outside

you buried your head into his shoulder as you walked around the campus you grew up on, pointing to the points of interest

you pointed to a big oak tree with seat like roots under it

“that’s where we used have physics club meetings”

then you pointed to a hidden patch behind all the bushes

“this is where i traded homework for money”

he just nodded as you told the stories of your high school experience

you pointed to some old looking railings with a tree standing view it

“that’s where i had my first kiss”

“HUH! i thought you said you got no boys, physics club and all”

“yeah you’re right” you said as you settled on one of the bleacher, overlooking the field and the night sky, spencer joining you

your fancy dress hitting the dirt of the baseball field, the cold april night making you shiver, and spencer putting his blazer coat over you

“you’re right, i didn’t get any boys in high school” you sighed as you cuddled into his arm

“my first kiss was with dylan watson, he was mr blue eyes blonde hair, baseball and perfect social status. and you know i was, braces glasses and physics”

he laughed as you continued to tell the story

“but yeah one day he slipped me a note, i figured he just wanted homework. but he said to meet him there after school. so i did, and he confessed tht he loved me, and wanted to be my boyfriend. and of course i said yes. and the he kissed me. it was the best moment of my life up until then. but as soon as he pulled away he yelled ‘you got that?’”

“oh no” spencer said, listening intently

“oh yes, his buddies had be filming, then they put me on plays all around the entire school, showing the video to everyone. so yeah, that’s why i never want to the prom. i guess it might have been bc i was a nerd, but also because i never wanted to show my face to those kids anymore” you said as you sighed

“you know, i had a similar experience where a pretty girl told me the same thing, but instead the entire school stripped me to my underwear and tied me to a pole. it was awful”

“oh my goodness that’s terrible” you said

“well i guess high school bullying makes great profilers?” yoy laughed

“maybe. i think it also develops character well i’m general too. and hey! you got your first kiss out of it”

“yeah, but high school was the worst, i wish i could tell my 17 year old self that it would get better”

“me too” he said

he said as he tucked his chin into your head and looked up at the stars, faint music echoing from the gym and the sound of your cold shakey breath

“y/n, i’m just glad we got to spend our prom night together”

[ot3-watch]

Episode 3: The Wedding Job

And so we begin the “The Network Fucked Up” saga with episode 7 which is SUPPOSED to be episode 3. 

Huge men drinking out of tiny teacups is hilarious and will never stop being so. 

Nate, stop being such a control freak. “I thought I pick the clients” DUDE CHILL

“No more, no less” honey you getting much more

“We’ll get back to you” FUCK YOU NATE

PARKER LOVES KIDS EPISODE 1

NATE IF YOU HAD FOUND THIS CASE YOU’D TAKE IT IN AN INSTANT YOU’RE JUST MAD YOU DIDN’T FIND IT

FBI!!! TAGGERT AND MCSWEETEN!! AHH OKAY I LOVE THEM

“They just need validation” BITCH ME TOO THE FUCK

TODAY IN THEY MAKE PEOPLE LOOK UNNECESSARILY STUPID

Hardison is so gregarious it’s so amazing to watch

“I don’t have to type anything right” oh my god

TAPES! “HARDISON HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK OUT OF THE FBI OFFICES WITH A BOX FULL OF TAPES?” “pUNCH someBODY!” “oh I’m gonna PUNCH SOMEBODY” God i love them

Jersey Boys I can’t, it’s terrible guys. Do mobsters have no taste

Oh look, it’s that woman who’s in EVERYTHING

What is Parker wearing on her head

Everyone talks about bridezillas, but no one talks about mother of the bridezillas. 

WHY DIDN’T THEY HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER IN THE FIRST PLACE

SOPHIE FOCUSING ON HER PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH NATE INSTEAD OF THE JOB EPISODE 1

ELIOT THE CHEF EPISODE 1

HOLY SHIT I LOVE HIM

ELIOT GETTING TOO ATTACHED TO HIS COVER STORY AND FORGETTING ABOUT THE JOB EPISODE 1

He’s so mad that she doesn’t like it I lovehim I LOVE HIM I FUCKING LOVE ELIOT SPENCER

“Imagine if we had bugs planted all over the house” WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU

How the fuck is the dress so ugly? WHY IS THAT WHAT THEY WANT? WHO WEARS PINK RUCHED SATIN WITH BLUE FLOWERS

I mean, other than, like, me @6 years old. But really, no one should be wearing the clothes I wore at 6 years old. 

Also it’s just.. the worst length. Like if it was a long dress it might be better. 

Nate the pastor episode 1

God that future son in law seems like a dream guy I love him

Maria Moscone deserves better than her scumbag parents let’s be real

SOPHIE TAKING THINGS TOO PERSONALLY AND GETTING THE WAY OF THE JOB

THIS!!! THIS IS WHY THE NETWORK ORDER MAKES NO SENSE!!! THIS HERE’S AN AIMEE REFERENCE BUT IF THEY’D ALREADY DONE THE TWO HORSE JOB, HARDISON WOULD’VE KNOWN ABOUT HER AND NOT ASKED

“What did you do?” “Me? I liberated CROATIA!” *angry apple bite* i CAN’T I LOVE HIM

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW PARKER ISN’T A BRIDESMAID? HOW IS THAT DRESS FOOLING ANYONE

Hardison in love with Parker is so pure

… Okay but shouldn’t maria and blonde n’ bitchy know that Parker isn’t a bridesmaid? Wouldn’t the other bridesmaids know? Why does no one in the wedding party question ANYTHING?

HARDISON’S SCARF THOUGH

WHY IS HER MOTHER WEARING WHITE?? WHO WEARS WHITE TO A WEDDING WTF

MARIA MOSCONE DESERVES BETTER

SOPHIE FUCK OFF!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?? THIS ISN’T IMPORTANT SOPHIE!! SOPHIE STOP IT!! SOPHIE SHUT UP!

M A R I A M O S C O N E D E S E R V E S B E T T E R

The Butcher of Kiev is the best subplot of this episode but HOW THE FUCK DID THEY ALL KNOW HE AND ELIOT HAD A PAST

Sophie is so fucking annoying in this episode I hate her right now

THESE PEACHES AREN’T GONNA POACH THEMSELVES PARKER

OH MY GOD NATE SHUT UP

NATE SHUT UP

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THIS NATE

SHUT THE FUCK UP NATE

THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU NATE

“In my day, no one would do business at their daughter’s wedding” WELL THEN DON’T DO BUSINESS 

Parker’s face smushed against the glass is great

Ahh yes, you don’t get the money so you SHOOT THE BRIDE. Because THAT’s not gonna cause a scene and get you arrested. 

OK be honest is there anyone who was surprised by the wife being responsible? Bc I’m not

Eliot’s face is like “TFW the guy whose face you burned shows up at a wedding you’re supposed to be pretending to but actually are catering with a cleaver and backup and the overwhelming urge to kill you”

I know that’s super specific but that’s what it is

Parker’s really good at playing drunk

But also, why did they not question what she was doing behind the curtain

Like she just happened to appear after they were finished talking about VERY ILLEGAL THINGS and they aren’t at all suspicious?

Also, Parker using Hardison as a cover is just… I love it. 

You’re laughing. Eliot brought a whisk to a knife fight and you’re laughing. 

The saddest part is Eliot has any sort of cooking implement. You should be terrified right now

Okay so let me get this straight. A guy is StrANGLING you, you get your hands on a rolling pin, and your instinct isn’t, “hey, I can use this rolling pin to clobber him over the head,” the instinct is “Let me use this rolling pin to get my hands on the appetizers?” Like, yes, lemon juice, but also ROLLING PINS ARE HEAVY AND YOU COULD AT LEAST KNOCK THE GUY OUT

But no, let me shove fucking MUSHROOMS in his eyes because otherwise how else would we get the symmetry of the butcher yelling “IT BUUUURRRNNNNSS” both times he fights Eliot

And then he uses the fucking serving tray to bonk him on the head INSTEAD OF THE DUCKING ROLLING PIN

LIKE SERIOUSLY HAVE YOU EVER USED A ROLLING PIN AS A WEAPON

I’M NOT SAYING I HAVE BUT OUCH

Like, just… If I had a choice between being hit over the head with a thin sheet of metal or a log of wood with metal inside it, I’d pick the sheet, because at least that one has some give. 

“It’s the lemon juice” How does Eliot make that sound badass

“You just kill a guy with an appetizer?” How the FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW THAT??

WHY DOES NO ONE ASSUME A ROLLING PIN WOULD BE AN OKAY WEAPON

Or like LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE IN THAT KITCHEN. THERE ARE CAST IRON PANS IN THAT KITCHEN. Or just liek… regular pans. HAVE YOU EVER DROPPED A NONSTICK PAN ON YOUR FOOT? IT FUCKING HURTS?? WHY IS THE APPETIZER YOUR FIRST INSTINCT NATE

Also, he’s clearly not dead. What the fuck

“I don’t know, maybe” I KNOW AND tHE ANSWER IS NO YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN”T

...who honeymoons in Kansas? Is that a thing? 

They are a very cute couple i’ve gotta be honest

“Exactly what denomination are you reverend?” He isn’t

“You’re not Mary Poppins, youre a bitch” Okay pot. Okay. 

LITERALLY THAT FUCKING HANDBAG WOULD AHVE MADE A BETTER WEAPON THAN THE MUSHROOMS

How does Hardison remember all those numbers? He didn’t even hear a bunch of them, but he takes the book out so slowly? DOES HARDISON HAVE AN EIDETIC MEMORY? WHY IS THAT NOT A PLOT POINT MORE OFTEN

Like I’m just saying, someone tries to tell me their phone number more than 3-4 numbers at a time and I get confused. But hardison just… remembers

What happened to the cash? The daughter gets the fucking wedding present she DESERVES for putting up with her awful parents that’s what

Hardison appreciating Eliot’s cooking is EVERYTHING

“I left him five dollars for socks” Well everyone needs socks. 

Okay wait I just had a thought

If Nate isn’t an actual Reverend, is that marriage even legal? Does Nate just happen to also be a legally ordained minister? Did they have to get him an online ordainment? WhY did we not see that scene? WHAT IF HE’S NOT AND THEY AREN’T ACTUALLY MARRIED

And today on “I clearly think far too much about these things”

PARKER WIth KIDS IS EVERYTHING

Eliot cooking for his family I love it

ELIOT IN A TANK TOP I LOVE IT

Was Eliot’s arms the most important part of this scene? Probably not

Is it the only thing I care about? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

I”M A SIMPLE GIRL AND HE HAS VERY NICE ARMS OKAY

Final thoughts: 9/10. I love this episode so much guys. Points off because really who the fuck wears white to a wedding. I know that’s the point but its very off putting. Also for the bridesmaid dresses because they were ugly as sin. Actual point off for the wife secretly being awful. Very predictable, ew. Extra points for Chef!Eliot. Extra points for Eliot’s arms. Points off for Nate and Sophie being completely insufferable. Extra points for Parker being great in this episode. Points off for the FUCKING ROLLING PIN YES I’M STILL ANGRY DONT @ ME. Extra points for Eliot killing a man with an appetizer because it’s still funny. Extra points for no IYS or Sam references THANK THE FUCKING LORD. Or, at least, if there was, i didn’t notice, meaning it wasn’t egregious so whatever. So yeah, anyway I really fucking love this episode. 

IYS Count: 2/3

Sam Count: 2/3  AND WE ARE ALL BETTER OFF FOR IT

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[wavbleu]

Chris Evans: Daddy issues

Kinks: Older men, rough, praise, slight degradation,  Size kink, practically anything somebody with daddy issues would enjoy.

( i decided to smush daddy issues along with the babysitter plot) also, if you want a lengthy slow burn story read all the way through, if you just want the scene😉😉😉 just scroll down and look for the sign " *~*"

oh big daddy evans, may i please suck yo big juicy monstrous cock😩‼️

~~~~

~Backstory~

This was your first babysitting gig, you never thought you'd have to resort to watching a bunch of little kids for money (As you never really liked them) but you desperately needed the money for rent. You already work 2 jobs, babysitting was just quick and easy money for you.

You live with your unfortunate drunken father in a small 2 bedroom apartment, you've been living there for years, for so long that the appliances are starting to go rusty. Perhaps it is better than living  out in the streets, but its no looker. Your father doesn't have a job and doesnt want one either, always refuses to help out around the house because its "A womans job."; Or even be there for you; He barely even deserves the title 'Dad' .

It hasnt always been like this though, your mother left him to go pursue her held-back dreams while you were 8, and left you to stay with your dad, that was her biggest mistake yet. You havent seen her since. Now he just sits on his ass all day drinking away all his problems and complaining about yours.

thats until a single father asks for you to babysit his kid...

~~~

You slowly drove through the gated neighborhood and observed all the beautiful houses and tall hills, you were in absolute awe. You could only dream living in a place this wealthy. "The pay  here must be amazing." first thing popping into your mind as you looked at all the Lambo's and Ferrari's.

You drove around the block searching for the designated house, "210"

"205..206...208....210!" You mumbled to yourself cheerfully, finally finding the house, you pulled into the drive way and put your car in park.

You took a moment of silence to prepare yourself for a long night of loud screaming and toddler tantrums, breathing in.. exhaling out. After a couple of breaths and positive affirmations, you finally gathered the courage and patience to get out of the car, when you got out; you were introduced to the beautiful sight of the house the man lived in, it looked even greater up close.

It was absolutely breathtaking, you felt obligated to take at least a second to examine and admire the outstanding beauty of the home, it was probably the best on the block. You couldn't even bother to guess how much the house was worth as you estimated its probably worth more than you as a person and everything you own x10.

You slowly walked up to the front door, still admiring your surroundings.

You hesitantly knocked and stood back, fiddling with your fingers and jacket, hoping that the owner heard your soft knocks.

You observed the fine wooden door before you, looking at the stained glass above it. Fascinated , you'd slowly graze your fingers upon the engraved designs on the wooden door. Tracing your finger on all the swirls and squiggles. "Wow.." You'd exhale in captivation.

You heard the front door loudly swing open, snapping you of your trance like state, also making you jump back a little.

"Oh-" you'd gasp before your breath fell to an immediate halt, your eyes were met with a tall well-built man, with a well groomed black suit on and a long black tie to match. His hair was dark brown, slightly gelled to the side.

You felt your palms start to sweat and your knees start to tremble just looking at him.

"Hi?" You'd mumble slightly intimidated by his attractiveness , giving a small wave and awkwardly scratching your shoulder.

"Hello little one" He smiled down at you, he noticed how nervous and shy you were, and wanted to simmer you down. But it only made it worst.

"Im the babysitter." You'd shakily say, feeling dominated just by being in his presence.

Immediately, the man took interest and began slightly leaning on the door, a subtle smirk forming on his face.. "Really? i thought you were the muffin man." You'd both let out a little laugh.

"Sorry that was a dad joke." ,"But im aware of that already." , "Whats your name again?" He looks down at you awaiting your answer. "Oh uh, Y/n" You muttered.

"Y/n." ," You have a gorgeous name." He said with a deeper , more husky voice. "Thank you." You felt your face heat up and your heart thump. "Anytime."

He'd let out a light chuckle at your cluelessness, "You know y/n, there's a doorbell right there." , he jokingly pressed it, the doorbell let out a loud ring.

"your lucky i was near or wouldn't have heard your soft knocks and would've left you standing out here in the cold"

"We wouldn't want that would we?"  He said, with that deep husky voice again.

"No, i really would not."  You would clear your throat and trembling, finding yourself mesmerized by his voice. "Come in silly girl." He invites, holding the door open wide enough for you to enter, then closing it behind you.

The interior didn't fail to amaze you with its beauty either, this home was drop dead gorgeous inside and out.

"May i?" He stops you and offers to take off your jacket, you nod; stepping in front of him and spreading your arms back.

He slowly slid your jacket off your arms, not trying to be too rough on you since you were smaller than him.

Once the jacket was off, he'd plaster a charming smile on his face and say "There you go." then going to go hang it on the coat rack. "Im guessing you want to take off your shoes yourself." He joked.

Although you'd love for him to give you that feeling again, you figured itd be weird for him to touch your feet.

"Haha Yea." You giggle, beginning to untie your shoelaces, "Thats alright, when your shoes are off put them next to those shiny black ones"

"And when your done, take a seat in the living room over there; make yourself at home." He pointed to the white chair with a navy blue pillow sitting on top of it.

You slid off your shoes and put it next to the large pair of black shiny shoes. "His feet is so much bigger than mines"  His feet were twice the size of yours, you'd take a deep gulp, as your shoe made of up half of his entire foot.

You got up and slowly navigated your way to the white chair, admiring the interior on the way, and hesitantly took a seat. Still somewhat cautious of your surroundings.

The living room was covered with legos , cars, babydolls and toys, with a loud kids show displayed on tv, the brightness was up so high that the colors from the tv made you feel like you were gonna go blind. "Shit." Youd mumble before going to shied your face, You helplessly rummaged for the remote with no luck.

Chris saw what was happening as he was passing by came to help.

"I apologize." Chris apologizes, grabbing the remote and shutting the tv off. "He always turns up the brightness after i tell him not too, hes gonna make himself go blind." , "Are you ok?" He asked with a worrisome voice, putting a hand on your shoulder. "Yes im perfectly fine, atleast i hope so." You'd rub your eyes trying to get your normal sight back.

Apologetically, he bent down to the sofas level and handed you the remote with a smile. "Go crazy, we have netflix and disney +" , "Thank you sir." You thank, he'd ruffle your hair then continued to walk to the the kitchen..

You set the remote aside and followed Chris , although you would love to keep flirting with him, you still have to do what your getting paid for.

"Need something?" He exclaims as he sees you following behind him with a curious face.

"Yes sir" You'd politely say , clearing your throat , trying to come off as more professional.

"Is there anything i need to know about your child?" You sit down at one of the seats on the island, tuning into his words and listening for instructions.

He'd open the fridge and grab out the orange juice, "Yea, His name is carson, he hates anything thats the color orange.." He takes a swish of the juice " I want him in bed by 8, no sugar before bed." He sternly demands, "Hes already got sleeping problems and giving him sugar will just make him bounce off the walls." another swish "Thats it." He finishes the bottle.

"Well sir, if you dont mind me asking where are you going." , you say hoping that you arent coming off as invasive. "A meeting at my office." ,"Corporate is gonna be there so its quite important, and far."

"Is your job boring."  Youd ask trying to keep the conversation afloat, "Obviously it is darling, its a job." he'd say in that deep tone once again , leaning over the counter to look you in the eyes "Right.." You'd mutter, your breath picking up speed.

"Anyways do you wanna meet carson?" He'd say breaking the tension, then going to toss the empty orange juice box into the trash. "Yea of course" You'd say in a shaky tone, finding yourself almost hypnotized by his deep voice once again.

"Carson?! The babysitters here!" He loudly called upstairs. Man could he yell, his voice sounded like a siren.

Minutes later, a little boy came running into the kitchen, with a barbie doll in hand. "Hi little man!" You cooed at the little boy, with the kindest smile to give off a friendly impression.

"Im y/n, your babysitter for tonight!" You said in a high pitched voice, the little boy just gave a blank stare; then smiled. "Your pretty." He'd mutter, then letting out a small giggle. You felt your heart burst open, exploding with cuteness and adorableness. Getting compliments from toddlers always felt amazing. Carson is a charmer, just like his father.

"Well aren't you the sweetest little thing?", you'd pinch his chubby cheek.

"Looks like someone has a crush." Chris joked, "Ive gotta go." Chris mutters after checking his watch "Carson, have fun with the cute babysitter." he'd wink at you, then swiftly went to snatch his case off the  island and walked out the kitchen

"Bye-bye!" Carson would wave, "Bye kid." Chris responded back. You both watched Chris leave out the doors.

"Wheres your room charmer?" You say with a soft yet fun and engaging voice, just to keep him happy.

He'd drag you upstairs to his room.

~Time skip to 8pm~

"Will daddy be home soon?" Carson whispered while tucked in bed. "Yes daddy will be home.." You'd check your watch. "Very soon!", "You'll be far in dreamland by then though." You smiled and booped his nose, "Alright!" He smiled cuddling up into his unicorn plushy, getting into a comfortable position.

"Want the nightlight on?" , "Yes please!" he responded, you switched on the nightlight, and watched as it lit up the whole room with stars and space ships. You were amazed as if you were a little kid too. "Goodnight, and the bed bugs WONT bite." You say, leaving his room and carefully closing the door.

"That wasnt as bad as i expected." You sighed. You began feeling a tinkling feeling arise in you giving you the signal that you needed to pee, "Wheres the bathroom in this place?" You question, frantically opening doors left and right with little to no luck, everything being either a closet or a guest room.

You opened another door, hoping it was the desired destination, only to find Chris' room. It was quite big for a singular person. "I shouldn't look." You say, "Curiosity killed the cat." You hopelessly reminded yourself, but something in you wanted to look around and find out more about him as a person.

So you looked.

You walked over to his dresser and looked at all the photos neatly arrayed on it. It was all pictures of Carson winning something or getting an award at school. You smirked, but felt some kind of jealousy spark in you for some reason.

i wish i had that.

You came across one photo that was flipped over to where you cant see it, you decided to pick it up and look at it. It was a family photo, this time with a woman included. She was pretty, like super model pretty. Judging from how the picture was flipped over and how she doesn't live here you figured they divorced, and it was bad.

You were gonna to continue looking through the photos until you heard an "Ahem." from behind you. You felt your heart jump, swiftly turning around and attempting to find a good excuse.

"I was looking for the bathroom-" You panicked, Your breath quickened, as he walked over with a smug smirk on his face then stopping right before you.

He firmly grasped your chin and lifted it up, "Thank you for taking care of Carson, hes never fell asleep when he's supposed to." , you slowly nodded and plastered a crooked smile on your face. "Now, what make you wanna go through my things little one?" He says with that tone again.

"Im sorry, i just got really curious and-" , "You know i could easily cut money off your good paycheck for this?" He gritted his teeth, he was pissed.

"Im sorry." You say with a nervous and scared tone, "Its alright im joking with ya." He laughed, letting go of your chin and walking away. "Man your fun to get." He chuckled.

*~*

You let out a anxious yet relieved  chuckle, trying to process what the hell just happened.

"All of your photos of you and Carson are so cute." You say hoping to clear the air, unhurriedly taking a seat on his bed, whilst chris begins undressing his suit. "Thank you, me and Carson are quite photogenic." He replies, "I even kind of find myself jealous of you 2." you say in a more depressing voice.

"Jealous?" He questions, walking over to you and takes a seat next to you on the bed. "Why are you jealous?" He asks again, "My relationship with my father is fucked." you mutter. "You do everything for Carson, you'd give your life away for him in a drop of a hat."

"My dad wouldn't do this for me even if he was paid too. He'd probably spend all the money on crack anyway." , "Im sorry." he apologized, as if he did something wrong.

"its not you its just fucking daddy issues." You laughed wiping away the gathering tears in your eyes, "If you wanna talk to me you can let it out." He says, "I think your swell." he smiles and ruffles your hair again. You'd go in for a hug, he wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead.

You'd pull away and stare, he reciprocated. "What are you looking at?" He whispers, glancing down at your lips and back at you.

You attached your lips onto his , resting your hand on his cheek. You felt as he gripped your hips and pulled you onto his thigh, straddling it.

You exchanged pecks and tongue, letting the heat between you to flow back and forth and take control. You let out a small moan as he guided your hips back and forth; creating friction on your clit. Smiling, he kissed your neck and left a hickey as he continued to thigh fuck you.

"Fuck~" You'd moan, grinding some more for more friction, "Needy one arent you?" He whispers into your ear, "Let me take care of you." He lifts you up off his knee, then slowly laid your body onto the bed.

"Take off your pants." He commanded, you slowly began working your sweatpants off, revealing to him your beautiful figure.

"Perfect." He mumbles, "Open your legs." He watched as you slowly spread apart your legs, showing him the wet spot on your panties.

"Your already wet for me?" He smiles, pressing his thumb down on the wet spot. He hovered himself over you, and kissed you and he teased your cunt through your underwears. You softly moaned as you felt his thumb go in small circles around your clit, kissing him became a challenge as it was constantly interrupted by your moans.

"Please stop teasing me" You ask, wanting more.

"Fine~" he goes to take off your soaked panties, "Wow." He said, as he removed the white panties , strings of your juices followed it. "I dont think i can tease you any longer, i need you now." He says with a needy tone, flipping you over to all fours.

He took off his black tie and tied your wrists together, making sure its knotted but not tight.

You heard his pants unbuckle and jangle, and his pants drop to the floor, you sat there with anticipation but also with slight fear.

"I was thinking of you at the meeting." He started, "Not an innocent kind of thinking either." ,"When you called me sir it did something to me." He bit his lip, then eagerly slid into you. His thick cock becoming covered in your juices. You both let out a small gasp.

"So i want you to call me sir again." He says pulling you hair back, looking you directly into the eyes. You obeyed "Yes sir." , he smiled with satisfaction . "Atta girl."

He let go of your hair putting you back into your original position, face down , ass up.

You moaned as he gave you slow-paced yet hard and deep strokes, he watched as you moaned while he teased your g-spot. You began to whimper and whine, wanting more than that. "Please go faster." You moaned into the sheets, "What was that?" He said giving you a obviously super hard stroke as you forgot to call him sir. You let out a soft whine from the pain and quickly corrected yourself "Please go faster..." "..sir."  you say in a soft yet sexy tone.

"Alright baby."," Brace yourself." He said before beginning to pound your little cunt,  you were surprised at how fast he was going that you actually started to brace yourself.

You felt so powerless and vulnerable with your hands tied behind your back, the only thing you were able to do was moan and just take his 9 inch cock.  "You were hoping for this werent you, little slut." He talked, "You wanted me to fuck you ever since you got here." he growled "Hm?" he says waiting for your response "Yes sir i did!" You admit, he began digging his dull nails into your hips and bringing you onto his cock harder. "Well you got what you want now fucking take it." He whispered.

"I think im gonna-" You moan, "Oh no your not." He says flipping you onto your back. He began taking off the tie, enabling you to move again.

"This is gonna be deep." He moaned.

You watched as he began towering himself over you, grasping onto the headboard for better balance and stability. "You can stop when you cant take it anymore." he re-affirmed, "Just keep your legs open for me is all i need in return."you were  pretty terrified, but in the best way possible.

He slowly slid his dick back into your cunt, giving a slow pity fuck, to start. "Thats it?" You thought to yourself, expecting something rougher.

But you spoke to soon, you watched as his grip on the headboard tightened and he started to prop himself up. He started to vigorously fuck you, moving his hips back and forth in an inhuman pace. You felt like a little flesh light the way he was using you.

You'd grip onto his waist to keep from cumming to fast, "Don't be scared to leave a mark." He moaned, you obeyed and started to dig your nails into his muscular back leaving scratches, he moaned in pain yet pleasure.

You struggled to keep your legs open, it felt so good that you could hardly even keep quiet.  He had to aggressively force your legs back open. He let go of the head board, starting to kiss you and your neck as he desperately fucked himself into your tight and throbbing hole.

"Why dont we play with this thing hm?" He whispers as he reached a hand down to occupy your swollen clit. "Be a good girl and cum for me" He smiles upon you, "You can do it, cum." He asks again.

He spat onto your cunt and swirled his thumb around your clit, he bit his lip as he felt it throb and your legs shake, "Oh so sensitive." He cooed.

You started to feel that tinkling sensation again, and felt it quickly override your whole body before it exploded. He watched as your eyes rolled back, "Thats it!" He'd smile as you squirted onto his chest, making an absolute mess everywhere..

"Alright my turn." He says gripping onto your hips, making your lower body lift up, and pounding himself into your hole. Like you were a toy. You watched from below as he ferociously used your cunt, extremely needy to cum. He loved how tight you got after your climax and couldn't hold on any longer.

"Fuck im gonna-" He moans subby, "Shit-" he says again, stroking himself into you one more time before letting out a warm load into you. "Fuck-" He moaned again, falling onto you. Doing one more stroke to make sure your filled up with his juices.

"You did such a good job for me baby." He kissed your cheek, "Thank you sir.", he lifted back up to inspect the headboard. "Shit.", He smacked his teeth, "This always happens." , "What does?" You asked. "I put a dent in the headboard when i gripped it." ,"What am i gonna tell them this time." , " That i was fucking my sons babysitter and got out of hand?" , "They'd call cps on me." He joked, you both let out a laugh.

You yawned exhausted, "Im so proud of you for taking me with no complaints." He places another kiss on your forehead. "No problem." You respond.

"Now go pee." He giggles, reminding you before you drift off to sleep.

~~~

(edited)

[angelmichelangelo]

family vloggers are annoying in normal circumstances (like i get it we all like money but exploiting your children and violating their privacy? rly?*) but some of them rly had to add an extra layers of ignoring the fuckin pandemic and now whining about christmas. like this Christmas will be so difficult for so many people, most of them that had followed the rules and isolated, and yet people whos been ignorimg the pandemic have the audacity to whine now??? get a grip people ffs.

*like im not saying that everyone who sometimes shows their children on the internet is a bad person but so many people exploit their kids and for what. i rly dont like family vloggers can you tell

oh BIG agree. family vloggers and a big no no. louise falls into the catagory of people that frustrate me because even though she claims she has boundaries, if you look at her instagram ads, her kids are always in them. it’s not hard to sell a product even if for kids, and not include your own. seriously, why do people do this?

i know i joke (and cry) about parent!phan and uncle!phan but in all honesty i know that if dnp ever did have kids, there’s no way they’d ever become family vloggers, which, yes even though i’d love some baby content, it’s so much nicer to know that some people would still value their kids privacy, and dnp would 100% fall under that catagory of: parents that actually care more about their kids than money.

and as for your point about the pandemic. absolutely. a lot of them went out, took their kids out, did christmas things as usual (that december adsense yo) and now because of that, they’re the ones acting hard done by. i know struggles aren’t a competition but it’s so rude of them to act like this is the worst thing ever. they all have a roof over their heads. they have their families. did they ever stop to consider that some people don’t have those basic things? it’s just really annoying to see them act like this with their first world problems there’s a fucking pandemic killing people and separating everyone, but they’re just sad because they can’t film their basic winter wonderland vlog. it’s so narrow minded of them, it annoys me so badly :/

youtube please get rid of family vloggers once and for all. no kids need to be exposed to the internet for money, and their health shouldn’t be put at risk either because their parents insist on taking them out and about for pretty instagram pictures in the middle of a global pandemic. it’s infuriating.

[minhothebighoe]

2:03 pm I Love You

Requested: yes: “Hey babes, hope your doing swell❤ What about Felix ( stray kids ) with a self conscious s/o? Like, she just doesn't thing she's good enough for him + so he hard core comforts her. Cuddles her until she gives up type thing. Possibly smut but if you don't write smut for him just fluff is fine.”

Word Count: 3.1 k

Summary: Your relationship with Felix was great at first, but when you two got caught in public it changed your life for the worst.

Warnings: mentions of feeling depressed, mentions of sex, small amounts of smut (just don’t blink), a mention of degradation kink (AGAIN DONT BLINK). And a cute/ sexy Felix

**also I haven’t proofread yet so hope it’s not too bad lololol, also maybe pt. 2 ???***

+

“Babe please tell me what’s wrong”

Felix sighed deeply, before laying a hand on my bare shoulder, gripping tightly at the exposed skin that poked out of my sweater. He looked and concentrated on me with worry and sadness that was clearly displaying on his soft features; his eyes showing nothing but pure and utter remorse. I turned away and stared at the floor silently with pure guilt and anxiety that was building and starting to weigh heavily on my chest. I hated myself for the fact that I was the one causing him to feel this way.

Things have been shitty for a while now, and I’m not talking about Felix or anything about him. Felix is literally the light of my life, and it’s not an understatement when I say I would literally take a bullet for the boy or give up my life to save his. Everything that is wrong is because of me, myself, and I.

Things were more than amazing in the beginning when no one knew of us together. When Felix could visit or hang out we would mostly just Sneak around and hide the fact we were an item. It was definitely hard most times,especially for him; he wanted nothing more than to show me off to the world, but at the same time it was oh so exciting. Even though Felix wanted to come out to the world as more than close friends he also loved concealing our relationship. He being the dirty Aussie boy he is admittedly ached to fuck me in public anywhere that he could get his hands on me, and shit, it was our dirty little secret.

However, things mostly took a toll for the worst when dispatch caught us together, and stays all over found out about the relationship.

It was late at night, Felix and I were at a park close to my home, and me being the dumb ass I am, was not thinking coherently. All I was thinking of was the lovely night me and my beautiful boyfriend were having, and the fact that he was physically there with me. At no time did it occur to me to think that other people would be up at the god awful hour.

In the moment, Felix was chasing me on the open grass field, and we were both happy and content. We didn’t need much more than each other to have a good time or have fun.

“You’ll never catch me!” I laughed, running faster away from my playful boyfriend who was right on my tail. I however, knew for fucking sure he was definitely gonna get me, I just wanted to tease the poor lad and get him all worked up.

Not even 10 seconds later he caught a hold of my hand and before I knew it, we both came to a dead halt. I turned around to face him and capture him at the moment, it almost felt like one of those cheesy kdrama moments where everything is in slow motion. His beautiful dark eyes stared lovingly and deep into my own. His chest was heaving up and down and all I could hear was the sound of his heavy breaths parting from those big beautiful pouty lips. He leaned his forehead onto mine before speaking with that sinful voice of his,

“God you have no idea what the fuck you do to me.”

That beautiful playful smile was now a wicked and sexy smirk, and god did I love it.

He pulled me closer to where my chest was touching his long lean frame; I felt his hands slowly travel and make their way down to my hips, it was almost teasingly unhurried. I felt a soft squeeze on the flesh, and a painful chill make its way up throughout my body. I thought I forgot how to breathe at that very moment.

Meanwhile felix’s eyes had never left mine, causing a certain feeling make its way through out my core deep within. I was aching for him to touch me, and I could tell he couldn’t wait any longer as well.

God you have no idea what you do to me, Felix.

He continued to smirk at me before impulsively bringing his lips down to my neck with such vigor and pure lust. I brought my hands instantly from his chest and placed them at the back of his head running them through and tugging on his sexy red locks. I gasped for air as I felt his teeth nip slightly at my flesh, hitting that sweet spot just right below my earlobe. He slowly proceeded to run his tongue over the bite mark before sucking ever so mercilessly. I could feel the heat rapidly making a pool in my underwear, and I didn’t know how much longer I could wait for him to touch me.

“F-Felix please.” I pleaded.

He detached his lips from my neck, and I could instantly feel a cool breeze attack the spot where his mouth once was.

He stared devilishly at me, his pupils getting blacker, before speaking

“Awe is my baby girl getting impatient…. don’t worry darling I’ll fuck you right.” I gulped; He leaned in again, and I could feel his hot breath hit the inside of my ear causing goosebumps to arise and my complexion go pale.

“I just wanna play with you first.”

I stared at Felix as my mouth went dry and my mind buzzed. His words alone were enough to get me off, and all I wanted was for him to rip my skirt off and fuck me right then and there.

But Then…..that’s when I heard it.

**click**

I snapped out of the trance like state, and forcefully pulled myself away from Felix’s body. I automatically knew exactly what that sound was and it was almost an instant shock of anxiety that rolled throughout my body. I looked over to Felix and I could tell he felt the exact same way.

“C’mon babe we have to go.” Even though he was trying to rush me, he said it as calminglyas possible.

** click **

As we moved quicker away, the more rapid the noise was becoming. Felix and I moved speedily, giving even Usain Bolt a run for his money, trying to get away from the situation. However, we both knew it was too late and the damage was most likely done. We were already caught and red handed at that.

“People are going to find out” I thought, anxiety filled my entire being with the thought. What will they think? This wasn’t no ordinary fan base I was going up against, these are kpop stans the most frightening yet loyal fans to ever exist. They were going to completely and utterly judge me.

and that they did.

-

It had only been 1 month since the pictures had come out of Felix and I embracing each other at the park, and let’s just say the backlash was worse than what I was expecting. Each day was more shoddy than the last, it seemed as each hour passed the more shit I was getting and the more comments filled my Social media telling me I wasn’t good enough, or that I was too ugly, too fat, and so on. At first it didn’t really bother me, I had hoped changing my profiles to private would help, and get people to calm down about the situation, and it did for a while. However me being me, I couldn’t help myself to search and see what the fans were saying,and as much as I wanted to ignore it, I couldn’t fucking do it.

“Ugly bitch, Felix deserves so much better.”

ugh.

“Where the hell did he find her? Probably some whore.”

Woah.

“Fat ugly bitch should lose some weight, she’s going to crush our poor Felix.”

Ow.

“They’ll never last SHE'S just another slut I mean look how short her skirt is in that picture, such a sleeze”

Okay then.

A couple more months had passed and I thought it would die down but for some reason it never did and as the number of comments and articles grew, I felt my deepest insecurities grow as well, drowning out any ounce of confidence I once had.

The fat comments were an especially hard pill to swallow as I had always been insecure about my weight. Even though deep down I knew I wasn’t “fat” I still had trouble looking at a mirror and being happy with the way I looked. And having a boyfriend who is an international heart throb did not make things easier to say the least.

“Why aren’t you eating babe?”

“You‘ve lost some weight love since the last time I saw you, I’m a little concerned”

“Babe please eat something, are you okay?”

Felix had seemed to have asked these questions quite a few times in the past months, and I would always reply with the same short answers along with a fake smile.

“Lixie I’m fine, I promise.”

“I’m just not hungry.”

“Ohh I just ate I’m okay.”

It wasn’t just the fat comments not causing me to eat, it was everything that was sending me into a spiral of self hatred and let’s just say: my very own demise. I had lost all appetite because all I could think of were those millions of fans telling me how ugly and disgusting I was, and, oh yeah, that I should do Felix a favor and just kill myself. And the most annoying thing was, I had no idea why it was even getting to me so much. It just hurt knowing that practically a whole fan base hated you because you loved someone so unconditionally, and you couldn’t do a thing about it or change their mind.

And I started to believe every damn word that was thrown at me.

I was too scared to even leave my home knowing that people knew who I was and how I looked. I didn’t want to risk it. I was scared, point, blank, and period. Sadly, I didn’t have anyone to confide in. I had always been mostly independent and an introvert so friends were very few and far inbetween;I didn’t want to worry my poor parents, as they would be devastated and heartbroken to know their little girl was feeling this broken. And, I couldn’t tell my boyfriend because he was busy most of the time getting ready for a fucking world tour to notice, and there was no way in hell I was going to distract him from that, so me being very discouraged to bring this up to anyone, kept to myself and thought being alone was the best option.

At least that’s what I thought I could do.

I guess I was naive thinking I could hide and push away my own feelings, but every negative thought, moment of regret, and all my insecurities were starting to show and make their way from the dark abyss and pile to the surface. I wanted anything but to worry Felix with my issues, however everything was becoming way too hard to mentally bare and I was reaching above my boiling point.

“Y/N, please for fucks sake talk to me, don’t you understand I’m here for you? Don’t you understand I can tell when something is wrong?”

Felix, who was sitting next to me, quickly got down on his knees in front of me. He placed a hand lovingly on my cheek, softly rubbing soothing circles with the pad of his thumb on the skin, causing me to feel somewhat calm.

I didn’t want to tell him how I was feeling partially because I didn’t know how to explain it. There’s just so much going on inside my head that it feels as if I’m at war with my own consciousness.

“I-I’m fine baby I p-promise I ju-“ tears were threatening to spill and I couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

“Bull fucking shit (y/n). You for the past 8 months have been anything but yourself, you’ve lost so much fuckin weight to the point where you’re skin and bones, you’re not eating, and I- I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, and it fucking hurts to see you like this and I-“ tears streamed down Felix’s face, and he cupped my chin and forced me to look into him.

Everything was accumulating and it was starting to reach a point where hiding these demons was not in the question anymore. Seeing Felix in this much pain because of me, tipped me beyond off the scale and I felt almost angry that all this bullshit had happened. Am I weak for wanting to tell him?

Would he be able to handle it?

As I was building the courage to speak, I turned my head away again hearing my phone vibrate. I could see the notifications building up from Twitter on the screen from the previous hour; Felix noticed too and instantly shot out his hand to grab my device.

“Felix baby no do-.”

I tried to grab the annoying hardware before Felix could see anything, it it was too late. His eyes widened.

“Kill yourself you stupid bitch,

you’re so unworthy of a man like Felix like actual filth lmao,

You’re an ugly fat whore who will never amount to anything ,

Watch out Felix, she’s only with you for your money”

As Felix read the words aloud it felt as if thousands of knives were being stabbed into my body over and over again, but all I could do was stare at the floor in front of me, and not dare to look at Felix. I didn’t want him to know things were this bad, I tried to shield him from the pain I was feeling because he didn’t deserve to be included in the affliction. My heart hurt but I wasn’t going to let him be included in that agony.

I loved him too much.

“Baby….” I could feel his eyes bore into my figure and at that moment I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Everything that had pent up over the past months finally spilled out into the open atmosphere, and holy shit I was a sopping mess to say the very least. I huddled over as the sobs poured out of my mouth, they were mixed with so much vexation, sorrow, and panic as I didn’t know how to feel. Felix quickly sat next to me and put an arm over my physique, pulling me in closer to his broad frame. My head lay atop his lap while I cried as much as I could. He peacefully stroked my hair with his fingers, and every once in a while layed some soft kisses atop my head.

I leaned my head to fit in the crook of his neck,taking in the scent of his cologne. He held onto me tight, as if he was never going to let me go again.

“Baby, all this time…. why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was almost quivering but I knew he wasn’t going to cry.

“I- I didn’t want to worry you, you had so much to do for the tour and I thought it was dumb an-“ he stopped me.

“(Y/N) it’s not dumb that people are harassing you and making you feel this way. Listen, I love my fans each and every single one of them. However, you have to realize that in every good person there are another 5 evil ones who don’t respect mine or your feelings for one another, and those people are not true fans.”

He brought my face to look at his.

“Listen darling, I love you and if some people can’t respect that then, that’s their problem. Our love is stronger than this and I know we will overcome this hurdle. That’s all it is, these comments don’t matter they’re just people who have no respect or no life to worry about and all they want to do is take that anger and hurt into other people. But holy shit, I just thank god nobody hurt you or physically or came after you….I don’t know what I would do.” Felix kissed my nose and stroked the top of my hand with his very own sending small impulses of electricity up my body. The heat of his body comforted me and I had never felt more love for him than in that very moment. For once I could finally breathe again and smile.

Felix brought a hand to cup my cheek, the palm of his hand felt so reassuring as he brought his soft lips down to mine gently and with such passion. He kissed me as if we had all the time in the world yet it also felt as if it was our last moment together. The world could’ve ended right then and there and I would’ve felt content being in his arms.

I guess I learned it’s not good to hold things in, and now I know if I’m ever feeling sad or hurt that there are people who love me and are willing to listen. And as much as I wanted them to be, my problems were not small especially if they had me feeling the way I did. I don’t have to be alone even in my darkest thoughts or weakest moments.

All I know is Felix lifted a weight off my chest that was too heavy for me to even nudge. And for him I am more than thankful.

“Also those comments are bullshit because if anything darling you’re to good for me princess .”

I smirked at him.

“Oh really now.”

“Yeah but let’s get one thing straight.” I eyed him as he bit his lip, he coyly took the soft skin in between his teeth as his eyes went dark.

“ the only person who can call you a filthy whore is me. Got it?”

[zuffer-weird-girl]

"No. Absolutely not. Cancel it." He growled while you made a hurt and desperate sound at the immediate answer of your boyfriend.

"Kai please! My sister don't have anyone else to take care of her kids, and she is desperate!" You pleaded while he only arched one eyebrow at you.

"Then she should had hired a babysitter. Not give trouble for their sibling." He scoffed and returned his attention to the papers in front of him.

You sighed out loud and burried your face a bit in your hands.

"Then I guess I'm sending her a message to take them to my old apartment instead..."

He stopped abruptly on his reading to look at you.

"That won't be possible either." He said nonchantly while you arched a eyebrow.

"W-why not?"

"I sold your apartment." He said normally whil eyou widen your eyes in horror at your boyfriend's words.

"wHAT?!" you almost shouted while he sighed for you to lower your tone of voice "K-k-Kai! Why?!"

"First, you are living in here long enough, so that place won't be useful for you anymore. Second, we were in need of money and I talked to you about it."

"I don't remember you saying ANYTHING about selling my apartment!" He lifted one finger for you to wait before showing you in his cellphone a chat that you two exchanged.

Damn your distracted brain...

"Why do we again need that much money?" You sighed in hopeless.

He... wouldn't talk much about that issue right now... he was first going to talk with Pops. Later you.

"Is just a project from the yakusa angel, nothing to fuss over with."

You sighed again before frowning at your cellphone nuzzling on the pocket of your jeans.

"Anyway. The kids and I are staying in here aparently."

You merely deadpanned at his glare before you heard a muffled honk from the outside.

"You know, I can talk with that sister of yours and then-"

"Kai, no. Thanks a lot, but no. I know how my boyfriend is." You giggled while he frowned and debated with himself if he should lock the door or not...

He never met those one, but... he wasn't a fan of children... in the slightest.

It didn't take much for you to enter house with one girl and one boy holding each hand of yours, the girl had a wary look on her face while clinging to you while the boy looked around with nothing but interest.

"Its such a big place in here auntie (Y/n)!" The boy exclaimed while you laughed at his energy.

"Alright guys, remembering that this house has extremely importance; and quite honestly I have no idea how your parents let me take care of you two in here; so please be careful alrighty?" You crouched down to be eye level with the children, teh girl nodded while the boy smiled and high fived your hand.

Kai watched with a wary look on his face your interactions, sighing in defeat and choosing to place his hands on his pockets and come to you.

"Ah! Kai!" You smiled at him while the boy chosed to tilt his head at him while the girl stared blankly at him back "Those two little precious thing are my nephews! (B/n) and (G/n)!" You looked at them back with a smile that made both ease a bit their nerves.

"I see. Just instruct them to not cause any messes. You know how much I despise it." He said nonchalantly while making his way out... only deadpanning when he heard the boy asking why he said that and you simply answered that he was a cleaning maniac.

He is going to have a long talk with you.

~

Your laughter along with the kids made him lose focus more than once...

What it was so fun about those little pests? Children are loud, annoying, never follow your orders correctly and dirty... he couldn't get why and even how you could be genuinely happy around one of those.

After two screams of the kids he made his way out, thinking about the worst and his heart almost jumped at seing you layed on the grass with eyes completely closed and the kids shocking you a bit.

"I told you it was a bad idea you idiot!" The girl said in irritation while she shook you and begged you to wake up.

"It was just to be a little scare! Not to make aunt faint!" The boy exclaimed while doing the same thing as his sister.

His jaw clenched as his hands turned into fists, already preparing to demand answers from those brats on what they had done with his angel before you suddenly opened your eyes and screamed to scare them.

"Ha! Think only you two can do pranks?! Take that then!" You grabbed both of the children and gave each one of them raspberries on their necks, the boy succumbed into laughter as the girl squirmed and begged for you to stop, trying her hardest to not laugh.

... huh. So he didn't needed to worry. The sign in front of him seemed almost... cozy even.

Wait... what?

~

He walked through the halls, screeching a bit his wrist from all of his writing before he heard your voice from the kitchen.

"So you kiddos want what for eating? Already warning that junk food is not a option..." he heard nothing for a bit seconds before you whined "I'm sorry! Please dont do the pouts! I can make something else though!"

"Oh!" He heard the boy's voice "I know something then!"

Curiosity spoked louder than his knowledge so he peaked a bit on the kitchen, enough to look but the necessary for not being caught.

"Peanut sandwich!" The boy exclaimed while the girl arched a eyebrow at him.

"Mommy doesn't let you eat those things." The boy pouted at her before making a 'shh' sound to her while she rolled her eyes at him.

"Thanks for the honesty (G/n). Mommy also told me this due to your allergy mister!" You poked teh boy's nose as he poked his tongue out with a smile.

"Hum..." you brought your hand and poked your chin a couple of times with your index finger a bit before snapping your fingers "How about some sandwiches that are not all boring healthy neither much junky then?"

The kids looked at eachother before nodding while you giggled at their actions and quickly made their specific ones.

He noticed that the girl was by one or two even years older than the boy, and was definitely more reserved than her brother while the boy was simply the energy itself. But even the two being so different, both widened their eyes in awe after they took their bites when you handed their lunches.

"Amazing auntie!" The boy exclaimed before unpolitely digging his food while the girl simply stared in awe.

"Aunt, please cook instead of my mommy. Please."

"God no." You said in exasperation "She might kill me for that sweetie, dont do that."

He smirked a bit at that as he made his way out with hands on his pockets.

"I can see that when we have children she is the one spoiling the brats..." he muttered to himself before abruptly stopping on his tracks and widening his eyes in horror of what he just said.

Him? You? Children? You guys weren't even marriage! Why the hell was he even speaking about damn brats?!

No way that you and him were going to have a kid. Those gave much work, planning and pacience-

"You kiddos want me to what?" His attention got back to you as he listened your voice this time coming from the living room... aparently you just got there since minutes ago you were in teh kitchen.

"Tell is a story!" The boy exclaimed while the girl hummed in agreement.

"You always comes with the best stories aunt, please?" Teh girl asked while he followed your voices, catching the you had sitted down and the kids on both of your sides.

"Alright then..."

You chosed a fairly tale, a not much know of but it was slightly impressive how calm and... gentle you were with your words, the way you carresed the kids hair was similiar with how you carresed his own hair on a bad day..

He never noticed neither catched that you looked like the best example of a... real mother. Caring and loving... his own mother he couldn't point neither convince himself of only one time that she acted like this way with him.

He had so many troubles with his biological... that he never thought that true love with a child was even possible. He owned his life to Pops, but the yakusa was almost deprived of womans, and even some of them were generally like their atmosphere. Rigg, cold, reserved...

Yourself acted like that as well when the necessary time came... but never with him. And aparently you loved your nephews to treat them like he did.

He immediately got out and walked through the houses with a frown on his forehead... thoughts of you holding a baby on your arms and being just as or even more gentle and lovingly with a child that was also... his. A child thhat he had no shame neither disgust to have with you...

Dear lord what was happening?! When his heart started to beat so fast? When he started to care for children in the first place?! God you two weren't even marriage why on hell he was-

"Chisaki?" He snapped from hsi thoughts to see Pops looking at him with a concerned face "My boy, I called you at least five times and you didn't even listened?"

"I'm sick." He said nonchalantly to the elder "I need to find a cure or a treatment."

The old man only got more concerned as he looked at his sucessor.

"What do you mean? You seem perfectly fine at least physically. What is the issue?"

"Ever since (Y/n)'s nephews got here it started." He brought his hand to hold his chin in thought "Maybe it was because of them... I'm not sure, they are too young to have a quirk so it's not that either."

"You're feeling like you have a fever then young man?"

"No. Is not that. Ever since they came I can't stop thinking of (Y/n) with a child on her arms, a toddler or even a infant. That looks like me and her, a mix or whatever."

The elder let out a disbelieving laugh which only triggered Chisaki even more.

"So you're telling me that you're having baby fever?" Thhe way Chisaki's eyes widen in horror were quite concerning for Pops and he almost went to speak if it wasn't-

"You're joking that is a actual illness... Fuck, I need to find a cure, buy it or something-"

"Kai. I raised you better than this... please." The elder interrupted while Chisaki only glared at the man, whose face was just as unimpressed as his.

[snow-whiteandred-rose]

Everything’s gonna be okay

A/N: Honestly I have to say that I was really sad these days about the actual situation. But we must remember, that there will come better days and everything will be fine again. We are together bulletproof!  Vanessa :)

Pairing: Jungkook x reader genre: Angst, in the end fluff word count: 1,8k

You sat on the couch and looked hypnotized out of the window. It was a gray and rainy day like all days in this week. It totally reflected your mood. You were ill. Nothing bad just a simple cold but it didn´t make anything better. Normally you were an optimist and saw everything positive no matter how bad it looked. But when you were ill, you were the total opposite. Your sickness wasn´t the only thing that bothered you, also you had the feeling that everything went down the tube. First of all, you wanted to learn more Korean and it wasn´t the easiest thing to do this on your own. So you registered for a Korean course near your University. Then happened, what had to happen: The course would cancel because the teacher was in the hospital and they hadn´t found a replacement. Second, your best friend wanted to visited you. So you both planned everything and she booked her flights, but then the airline was on a strike and it was to much money to bought a short-term flight. Also your boss cancelled your vacations because hell was breaking loose at work and they needed every employee. And now you were ill. Fantastic! The sound of the key in the door lock interrupted your thoughts and your boyfriend went in. Today he wore a tight black jeans, which underlined his trained thighs , and a dark leather jacked. At least one beautiful sight. He threw his bag on the flow and went in the living room. “Hey Noona, how are you? Are you feeling better?” He leaned down toward you and gave you a soft kiss on your cheek. You just shrugged your shoulders and sighed. Jungkook walked around the couch and sat next to you. “Are you still upset? I don´t want to see my girlfriend so sad. Everything's gonna be okay, Noona.” He took you in his arms and stroked your back. “Everything is so unfair. I feel like I never gonna be happy again,” you whined. “Don´t say such things. You are the optimist. Where is your positive energy?” “It´s gone. I don´t like to be positive anymore.” “That´s a pity. But I know something that makes you feel good.”

He pulled you closer towards him and started to kiss you passionately, his fingers stroke above your thighs. You totally know what he wanted and you weren´t in the mood for sleeping with him. So you pushed him away from you. “Kookie, I´m sorry, not today,” you apologized. “Really? That´s also what you said the last times. Whenever I want to get close to you, you push me away. I can´t even cuddle you before we go to sleep,” he pointed. “Are you taking my feelings into account? I´m really not in the mood for your childish actions, When you want to cuddle than go to someone else. But I`m not the right person for this shit now.” “And how long does “now” takes? You're really getting on my nerves with your bad mood. Days in the studio are exhausting and I don´t need this shit at home. And I just want you to know: I'm just a guy with needs.” You felt a sharp pain in your chest and you coudn´t believe what he said. “Are you fucking serious? So you wanted to say, that you are seriously considering cheating on me because I have bad times in the moment? Really?” “We can´t call it “cheating” when you know it. And I also must say that the last times were a little bit boring. So maybe we need some variety,” he just said cold and you had to pull yourself together not to cry. You wouldn`t give him this satisfaction. “Jungkook, Out! Out of my apartment!” You simply said in a quiet voice. “It`s also my apartment.” “Please go and leave my alone.” He nodded, took his bag and left. It was only when the door closed that you started to sob. What just happened? Did he really took into consideration to sleep with another girl just because you had a few bad days? If it was the case than he wasn´t the person you always thought he was. You knew Jungkook as a caring lovely person and you never saw this side of him before. You curled up on the couch, nestled in a blanket and the tears started to run down your cheeks. It was the next negative point on your list that happened in a few days. Could things even get more worse? You were afraid to think about it. The worst was that you also started to feel bad for your actions. 'Why didn´t I give in?' Jungkook was always so gentle and really knew what he had to do to make you feel good. Maybe it would helped and maybe it was something positive in these days. You could beat yourself for those thoughts. That`s not what it was about. Yes it could lighten up your mood and you could be distracted for a few hours. But what you needed was your caring boyfriend who listened to your thoughts and made you laugh. It wasn`t all about sex in a relationship and when he wanted more variety he could speak normal with you and didn´t use it to hurt you during a fight. The moment when you thought about your sexlife your heart stopped for the second time in a day and you began to count. 'No No No No No No No No.... that can`t be possible' you thought and turned white as a sheet. You looked at your watch. It was nearly 8 o`clock but when you hurried up you could still went to the pharmacy. Quickly you took your keys and went to the pharmacy a few streets away. Normaly you went to one next to your apartment, but it wasn´t the best idea when you wanted to buy a pregnancy test and all employees knew you to well. When you were back home you went straight to the bathroom and opened the packing with shaky fingers. And than you waited... and waited... and waited... You sat on the bathroom floor, your head leaned against the heating. You never thought that five minutes were so long. Another thing you never thought was that this would happen to you. You always wanted to be happy and exciting when you made a pregnancy test and now it was the opposite and you didn´t even know where you boyfriend was. Maybe fucking someone else. You didn’t know. After the longest five minutes of your life you had certainty. The two lines on the test seemed to be laughing at you. A new flood of tears bursted out of you and you reached for a handkerchief. That was the fifth point on your list and now you just sat there on the floor and stared at oneself. Your hands went over your stomach and even when you didn´t know how things should work you knew that you wanted to protect the little something from everything. “We can do it. With or without your daddy,” you whispered. You didn´t know how long you sat there but suddenly you heard the front door closing causing you to dont make a noise. You hadn`t forgot what he said earlier and you were still hurt. Also you didn´t know what his intentions were so you staid where you were. “Y/N? Where are you? I`m so sorry. I didn´t mean it like that,” you heard him sob. His steps approached the bathroom and he opened the door slowly. “Y/N, are you there?” He entered the bathroom and his eyes felt on you while sitting like a mess on the floor. As soon as he spotted you he stumbled towards and almost fell in your lap. You could see his red puffy eyes. “I`m so sorry, I was a horrible boyfriend. I didn´t mean anything what I said earlier. You must believe me. Please don`t leave me.” “It was really nasty from you to almost tell me that you would cheat on me. It broke my heart because I always trusted you.” “Trusted?” “Who does tell me what you have done this evening? Maybe fucking some chicks who flirted with you.” “No, I would never do that. I don´t even know why I have said such horrible things. I love you and it`s always you. I don´t want to be or sleep with another person. You have to believe me.” You stayed silent because you didn´t really know how to respond. He cupped your face between his hands so that you had to look at him. The view of him was heartbreaking. You had to look exactly the same. He kissed you softly and was happy that you return the kiss. “I promise I will be a better boyfriend, Noona. I will show you and than you will be happy that you hadn´t left me.” You took his hands in yours and stroke with your thumb over the back of the hand. “Don´t say something like that... you are a wonderful boyfriend and I love you too. Sometimes everyone said things we didn´t really mean. But I have to tell you something... when you wanted to be a better boyfriend... maybe you have another task soon,” you stuttered because you were a little bit scared about his reaction. You knew that he wanted kids but you hadn´t made any plans because you two were really young and had enough time. But destiny wanted it different sometimes. “What is it, Noona. You can tell me anything.” “Jungkook... I´m pregnant.” He tensed up and didn´t show any reaction. It made you even more nervous than you were before. “It´s okay when you don´t want the child. I can handle it myself but you have the right to know it,” you said disappointed. “What? No. I just need a moment to process it....I can´t believe it. I become a father. Y/N you make me so happy,” Jungkook started to cry again. “Don´t cry Kookie. So you aren`t mad at me? You are really happy?” You said insecure. “Why should I be mad at you? That´s the best thing what could happen. Yes we are still young and I `m scared that I will be a bad father... but you and me... we can do it. I love you so much.” He kissed your lips passionately and a stone fell from your heart. After a few moments he realised that you were still sitting on the floor. So he took you bridal style to your bed room and cuddled against you from behind. One hand stroked your belly and you smiled. “Is it crazy? I love it even though it's not even on this earth yet,” he whispered. “It isn´t crazy, it is quite normal when you become a parent,” you answered and turned around to kiss him softly. “I love you Kookie.” “I love you too,” and after a few seconds he added “You see? Everything`s gonna be okay.”

[knicole0527]

How Did I Fall For Unwritten History?

So I’m in a whole relationship right? Like a whole fat ass relationship. Like me plus her equals nobody else . Its kinda dope and kinda like coccaine . If she was a drug I’d take it . She grounds me . She makes love to my mind , heart , and then my body . Her way of words sometimes makes me feel stupid because she uses words I cant imagine using . My vocabulary aint that big . But ask me about math or science ? I’m definitely ya girl . She was my missing piece . If that makes any sense at all . We definitely have our rollercoasters but I’ll killl anyone over her and I stand on that . Best part its with who I chose and not who my parents chose or approved of. I actually dont care whether they approve of me or not. Mom didnt want kids anyways. As she put it, she likes “ a return to sender kid “ I know she used to joke about it but I later found it to be true. So at this point either you like my happiness or you dont. But anyways, So we met the first time at work, Afni Call Center to be exact. She was a bet. By bet I mean with green money with coworkers. So I bet that I would get smashed by this girl and they would each owe me 50 bucks. I mean who can turn down money. Plus she was kinda cute and I know she was watching my little booty when I would walk away . I was 80 pounds lighter when we first met .

But here lately things have gone to shit . I can admit I fucked up . Well in the beginning . I cheated . She found out . But I was honestly gone tell her everything but she found out I broke her heart all that and then some . Since I put all my business out there . Only reason why I cheated was because I wanted a kid . I wanted her for sure but I wanted a kid . As time passed us by I realized she doesn’t want kids at all . So I had to make a decision , kids or stick around for my one true love in my adult life . So I looked her in the face , I probably had tears In my eyes and told her I chose her . She looked at me with confusion for a little and I dont think she anted me to flat out give up kids. But I was gone doe what I had to do to keep her by my side .

Now before we get to me cheating . I had an apartment on Old Morgantown Road . I loved that damn space man . Hard wood flooring . Storage unit . I had a w/d hook up . I had a good apartment and I could afford it and be able to live my best life . Rent was 475 a month . Utilities and water ran me about 80 . So I was well within my budget . But my dumb ass got involved with this man who I thought I could change . I was trying to hear from nobody about nothing . I wasnt trying to hear that he was cheating because I felt like I gave him no reason to cheat . I was giving him everything and then some . Hell I let his stupid ass cousin stay on my couch . So they were living rent free right , I know stupid Kendra always doing dumb shit . I should have opened my eyes but I didn’t .

Well he and I are definitely no longer together . He got my little cousin pregnant . I dont know whats worse . That she knew he was still living with me . That she knew we was kin . That he knew we was still together , fucking and living together and I never ask for a dollar . Or that my bosses had to call me in the office with another one of my cousins and sit me down to tell and show me that he was cheating and she was pregnant . It even shocked me that she tried to question me about my niggas car . Like girl he and I live together so yes maam I’m gone drive his car . and she was in shock to see me in the drivers seat . huh . Aint that funny how it all played out though ? But you know , karma got took his dick for a minute . He got the worst news of his life . His heart was just as shattered as mine . His trust was screwed if not worse than mine . He found out that while he was too busy cheating on me , she was getting knocked down by his cousin . LMFAO SERIOUSLY . He did all that cheating and got that girl pregnant and ended up getting played himself . So while I was his woman , he had a side bitch who had a side nigga , but THE SIDE NIGGA HAD A SIDE BITCH . I hadnt had sex with him in a while because things started getting to me and I was becoming very suspicious so I was still going to get checked anyways . But yea . What a fckd up love hexagon . Crazy how we all worked together . But when I reached my snapping point . I became a little on the ratchet side and called his mom and told her come get her sons belongings because he was homeless again . My cousin didnt have her own spot so somebody had to come take care of him because by that time I was done pretending .

Shit got bad for me mentally . I had me fckd up . I lost my job and went broke because I drank and popped it away . I know definitely wasn’t the right thing but I just wanted to feel numb to everything . I didnt really care how I got high just as long as I as high I was okay and at peace .

Alot of time went by and my past came back . She made me feel safe . And she saw me ; like the actual me . She knew something was up . Hell I gained 50 pounds since the last time we seen each other . But when she came back . I dont know if I was more so excited to see her or trying to fuck her right there on the floor at work . I walked in the door and the moment I seen her ... I didnt care who I was talking to , I think Wanda , I’m sorry boo but I seen my old boo and just had to do it . I could not help myself I had to hug her before I did anything else . I had a little more weight on me too because during our last encounter , hmm hmm , I was a bit smaller and hadnt grown boobs yet . So when she seen me running 90 mph to her ; baby girl was in for a shock .

Time went by and we started seeing each other a little more outside of work . Then she started to spend the night . But when she started doing that , I think I made things a little complicated for her at her moms . I had no intentions of doing so but it kinda got weird because she wasnt coming home very much any more . But yall , when I had her all to myself . Do you know how many times I undressed this girl with my eyes . I mean she standing there fully clothed and I seen EVERY INCH of her thru them clothes . It was bad yall . lol . She kinda eventually sorda moved in ; even though I thought she had already moved in . Time went by and things were okay ya know . We were just in the “ talking “ phase and just filling each other out . She started to grow on me a little more than I planned . and then I wanna say it was my birthday or after ? Baby girl was so drunk . She , our mutual friend , and I went to go grab food and drinks . Weeellllllll , I trapped her into drinking and drinking and drinking . We got home ? and she drank and and got funnier as the night went on . I remember that day like it was yesterday and the videos I have are absolutely the funniest videos I have ever recorded . “ butt clouds “ and the car honk that about gave her a damn heart attack .

Anywho times have went on . We decided to go to hilltop and live there . Who would have thought we would live together because I was stern on not wanting to live with her . It was weird living there . Always wondering if or when we were going to get a roommate . Then ? Thats the first time I ever broke a heart . See , she was always wanting to like distinguish a title. Meanwhile I am petrified of titles and labels and shit . Plus I have labeled myself for so long I didnt want to put a label on she and I . So I waited and waited and waited and decided to test waters . By testing waters meaning , I caught baby fever BAD . LIKE BAD BAD . I wanted a kid so bad I didnt think about talking to her first , I was just hoping one day I could be like , surprise baby we are having a baby ; butttttt I was gonna tell her how I got pregnant IF if actually happened . But she kinda beat me to it . She seen the messages on her tablet and as you know it went to shit from there . I broke her heart . I wasnt sure if or when she would or could ever forgive me . ( its JAn232021 ) and I know she still hasn’t forgiven me for anything . Not sure if she will ever get past it enough to love me love me .

We made it official , May 2019. By that time the only things that mattered to me were building a life with her. Come August 2020 . We got a place together and as time went on, I knew something was wrong but I would rather ignore it than have to go to the doctor because that just aint my cup of tea. I hate doctors.. they always wanna diagnose people with shit. I just didn’t wanna be one of those people so I held out as long as I could before it got to the point of being unbearable . I lost yet another good job . At first they thought it was covid and it wasnt . I tested negative for covid . Then I had like 5 appointments that following week . I was put on all types of stuff . I was throwing up everything . I was crying non stop . I was doing things not in my normal regimen . Thats when things fell harder on her . Harder as in bills , and stress and everything . I became that burden . I became the thing in the relationship that puts everything on the line . I became the complete failure in the relationship .

I wasn’t able to help like I planned . in fact my checks were so small that every pay day because I had all my bills and people I owed money to on auto pay and I kept making promises, put me in the negatives . I was in the negatives for 3 to 4 months . So imagine being the one in the relationship who didnt feel welcome . Who didnt feel like I deserved the love and things like that . All I wanted to do was help out and I couldn’t . Made me want to pack up and wait until I knew she was gone so I could leave . I didn’t know what to do . But I knew I was pretty much of no use . I knew that she resented me . I knew it pushed things back so far it may never come back to normal .

But now , Im better than I was still struggling though .  But I have this amazing job . I have a job where I can do my part and not hurt . I have a job where I can finally help out now . But its not enough . I’m not enough . The love is not enough anymore . I have became disposable . I have become the one who broke and shattered her heart and trust in her adult love life . How do I come back from it ? How do I rescue something that may have already died ? Am I worth it ? Am I better off without ? Do I deserve her ? She deserves the world and I want to give it to her I do .

But idk , maybe my mom was right . just maybe the only things I’m good at are singing and laying on my back . Havent accomplished shit yet . Got banned from a job because I tried to put my hands on someone . Got fired from 3 good fucking jobs because of my health .

Im crashing at this point . My future is on edge . I am on edge . this is not cool dude . But I will play the hand I’m dealt . Maybe I will win and marry the woMAN of my dreams . Or maybe I will just fck it up once again . We Will See .

[xcherry-popx]

finally got a completed backstory for the antagonist. issue: it looks like a thirteen year old's first oc, which is not bad, but theres no way i can exposition drop all of this and its significantly edgier than the surrounding story/characters.

im. going to look over it in the morning. in the meantime. its under the cut, for those who want to read. i am definitely not opposed to feedback.

Deeply afraid of losing their autonomy    Why?: They grew up in a conflict heavy area, and often did not have control over their surroundings. They began seeking put positions of power to feel in control, and soon began to feel most comfortable when exerting power of others. The type of person who gets over feeling powerless by making others powerless instead. Backstory:    Born as the middle child in a poor family, with one adult sibling who only visited to ask for money and one younger half sibling (18 year difference)    Their parents often argued, and although they truly loved each other, they did horrible things to each other when they argued. [repercussion: even when people love each other, they still will hurt -you- each other]    As a child, F was bullied. Because their parents weren’t able to help, they stopped telling them. [repercussion: no one will come to help you. even if they tried, they’ll just make things worse]    At age 12, their mother died. Their father was left alone with a kid. The adult sibling, honestly trying to help, set him up with a job working under a protection group to earn money and safety. It works, but he is mistreated by his boss and coworkers and left exhausted. The sibling gets roped into watching them and isn’t happy, often cruel [repercussion: people in power will always use it to hurt you]    At age 14, he starts working, trying to help earn money for the family. At his work, since he’s the newbie, he often gets bullied by the older kids there. F’s first day involves getting hazed, and he feels powerless. [repercussion: this is the worst possible feeling. do anything to avoid it]    Age 15, some of the older members, the ones most sadistic, have left, although the bullying doesn’t stop completely. F is put in charge of training one of the newbies, a kid a couple years younger. When the older kids start bullying him, he doesnt stop them, eventually joining in. [repercussion: you can avoid being powerless by forcing it on others]    Age 16, their work is put under a new protection group, who are looking for new members. He joins, and begins doing jobs for them. He ends up earning a lot, gathering the attention of some older members. F throws someone who joined with him under the bus, diverting attention from him by aggresively bullying the boy. [repercussion: you can feel powerful by making others powerless. doing so feels incredibly good]    Because he’s started to earn more money, their dad is able to work less. He ends up getting a girlfriend. The adult sibling decides to leave, slowly visiting less and less until they stop coming around completely. [repercussion: people will abandon you as soon as it won’t weigh on their consciences]    Because F’s become something of a de facto leader for his section, the family in charge comes to him. or rather, their son (about 22) does, and he’s set to take over. they become friends, often doing teenage things like graffiti and breaking into places, and less teenage things like hazing the newer members and stealing directly from people. [repercussion: other people dont understand you like he does]    Age 17, the girlfriend is pregnant. She and them don’t get along, but she moves in with their dad.    The group they are in is beginning to lose power. One day, the friend comes to them, saying that he knows all his other friends are fake. He tells them that he wants their help to slander the boss, and promote him instead. He says that then they can dispose of him and put the friend in charge. He promises to give them partial control, since theyre pretty close to in charge of their section anyway. They agree, and spread rumors of the boss’s incompetence. After awhile, the people are willing to rally behind the two of them.    Age 18, the baby is born.    The boss begins to step down and put a trusted friend in charge. They stop that, and make a plan to kidnap and show off how weak he’s become. It goes too well, and one of the two ends up getting excited enough to kill him. [repercussion: you can make even those more powerful than you become powerless]    While for the most part, people were already supporting the two, some privately distrust them. Regardless, the friend is put in charge, with F having control of a large portion of the more technical stuff.     Age 19, the two start to argue. Not big, but they begin to worry about their position. They end up getting control of close to half of the protection group.    They have a falling out. They both agree not to tell anyone, but F does begin spreading subtle rumors about him. [repercussion: even those you thought understood you will betray you]    Age 21, the people are beginning to become divided. The two no longer hide their animosity. They force others to take sides.    At some point, F kills them, or has them killed. F puts themselves in charge. Those who supported the friend and those who mistrust both of them privately disagree.    F no longers lives with his family. For the most part, he’s left them behind, though he occasionally sends money out of obligation.    Age 23, F has made the protection group the most powerful in the area (a countryside with only a handful of small towns). Even so, they celebrate. This is the ‘highest’ of their life. They believe they’ve gotten everything they want. They’re a cruel boss, and begin to lose support.    Age 25, a small group gains traction, a rival protection group. They gain support through their less aggressive methods. Many begin to abandon his group for them. [repercussion: affirms the idea that people will leave as soon as they find something they think is better]    They predict their own downfall. Taking their money, they flee to the city, where they find an experiment being done. It’s losing funding, so they decide to back it. Despite their fear of losing control, they’re enchanted by the idea that they could dominate the particapants, and agrees to join with their memory wiped. In game, they only remember up until they moved to the city.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Hey guys, 

This is the local dog rescue charity that we were carers for, for several years. May do it again in future, but after Debbie (who was rescued by Precious Paws), it feels like we need a break. 

We have had three foster fails, but two puppers came through our home, learned to feel safe and loved, and went on to a perfectly matched new family.

There is always a demand for carers, so if you think you can, have a look at their Carer Info. Or look into the FB page, to keep your eyes open.

The best way to find new carers for animals is having a network of people sharing the Urgent statuses, which flags the attention of new groups of people. No dog will ever be LEFT on death row. They look for carers until the last second, but will absofuckinglutely take the dog anyway and put them in a boarding kennel short-term whilst a carer is located.

No doggo left behind.

It can be a bit confronting, though, so I understand if you cannot. The majority of the dogs have been surrendered to the pound, for various reasons, and the rescues in the region put their hands up for the ones slated for being put down each week. This list constantly refills, so there is always a need.

Some other dogs, like Debbie, are rescued directly from the disgusting human slime of the world who have caused them pain, injury, or attempted to kill them.

Carers open their homes to as many as they can, but there will always be more needed. A dog can be with you for a few months, to a few years, depending on their needs. 

Little Willow was so scared of everything when we got her, it took 5 months to get her to trust men near her due to where she came from. But after nearly a year, she was ready for adoption and went to a new mother; happy, healthy, and confident. She was fast, smart and a very delightful little doggo. I do miss her, sometimes, but her new mother sent us photos of Willow on her first and second adoption anniversaries. 

And little Gemini’s face, when her new family sent a photo from her first meeting with her human brother, was SO BIG!

It is hard to say goodbye, because they are with you for a long time, and you have to work hard with them, so they are an integral part of your life. But it helps to know that their future family is out there, not yet aware that there’s a dog shaped hole waiting to be filled.

As my parental unit says, “In reality, if they were not with us, they’d be dead. Someone without any heart dropped these animals off to be killed, and because of all these rescues, all these dogs and cats get another chance at life.”

Harvey, who we have now, was 9mths (Willow too) when they came to us. BABIES who just were too energetic or too big, so they had to be sent away. It takes a while to rebuild that trust in them.

Not to mention the absolute FUCKS who take their little old dogs, who have known and loved them their WHOLE LIVES to the pound and walk out with a new puppy (or kitten). FUCKS.  Those little doggos are never forgotten, PPARs and the other rescues make sure they have somewhere to go as well! I know of a 16yo bulldog called rosie, who was snappy when she first came and very depressed, who blossomed with her carers into a happy old girl. She was adopted recently!!!

It is important to be aware that these animals are often traumatised and have behaviours that some can consider ‘naughty’. You have to be understanding. Like traumatised kids, the worst thing you can do is yell or hit or whatever, even if they piss on your favourite rug or chew a beloved pair of shoes.

They may snap and snarl. Might shy away from men, or women, or teenagers. Might cower away, or show subservience constantly. Might hide for a few weeks. Might wet themselves or run to hide if something makes a loud noise or there is a specific trigger. They might rip up the couch twice, or hump your pillows. Try to escape the yard (need strong fences). A trigger? One of our kids was terrified of men, the noise of a powertool, and anyone having the hood of their car open. Would sit, shaking, panting in fear if these things were present. Still a bit much for her, but she knows to go to a human, who will keep her safe. Or sit with her sister doggo, who will protect her.

Willow was scared of men, shouting, and would be immediately wet-herself-afraid and show her belly in subservience. My giant bearded mountain of a sibling would lay on the floor with her, and talk gently, let her come over to sniff him. Eventually, she would lay next to him, and finally he could pat her, and it progressed from there. This took months of consistency and care.

I know of another carer couple who had this tiny little dog who was SO SCARED of everything she spent absolute months hiding under their bed or sofa. Too scared to be touched. They fed her and never made a fuss if she had a little accident indoors. And one day, she popped her head out while the male carer was pretending to be occupied... and licked his arm. That was it, went straight back under the bed. But it was a huge step. She can now be held and cuddled, and loves her little life. But it took the time, understanding and patience of these carers to get her there. It’s important to note that carers dont normally have the whole backstory for each dog, but after a while, you tend to get good at figuring it out based on behaviours. Harvey’s behaviours were extremely frantic for attention, he didn’t know how to sit or be still, he was desperate for attention; his behaviours increased when on a lead (which had to be used for the first few weeks and outside time, as this was a New Household Member time).  It was clear that given his age, when we got him, and his behaviours that he’d been an xmas gift puppy that had gotten WAAAAAAY bigger than anticipated. When he was small he’d been the fuss of what we suspect was at least 2 children. After getting too big, he was put on a leash in the yard, and had no real interaction.

Harvey would go BALLISTIC if given even a glance from a human. He NEEDED attention, and it took months of careful work with him to teach sit, stay, look, settle, back back, etc. He’s still a bit ridiculous, sometimes, but he can sleep on a bed with a human and only half drown them in spit (ugh) lmao. 

So consider if you could be a carer.  Or, if that isn’t realistic for you right now... donate.

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Donate, if you can.

If you’re in Brisbane, you might see them doing sausage sizzles at Bunnings on the weekends to raise needed funds! 

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COVID-19 hit all the rescue charities hard. Their normal fundraising was crippled by the lockdowns, but animals are always in need of new homes and protection.

If you can help out your local shelters, they’d appreciate it!

There’s food and supplies that need to be paid for; PPAWs specifically help out pensioners who take on an animal, by providing the food and toys, collar, bedding, etc. There’s desexing, microchipping and all vaccinations to be paid for. Some animals have extreme medical issues that need to be fixed (such as a dog surrendered with a broken hip, or dogs like Debbie, who were starved almost to death. Who need intensive and long-term things; with Debbie, my family put money forwards for her insulin and eye surgeries, etc. bc we could budget for it. Not everyone can, though.

There’s also little emergencies here and there that they jump in for, to assist.  [E.g early on when the caninculin levels were being sorted, Debbie had a random fit, so I rushed her in and they discovered her BSL had hit 1 - very dangerous. PPAWs got on the phone and said, “Any tests, any medication, any fluids, anything that needs to happen for that little girl, you DO IT” and they stabilised her. PPAWs also helped fund the full-day glucose testing and blood panel the next day and an overnight with the vet, that was pretty expensive. To be clear, it is expected that her starvation and new diabetes was likely to experience highs and lows, so we had bought a glucometer, and had squeezy-top bottles of honey all over the house as an emergency-response kit. When Debbie went funny, we filled her mouth full of honey and transported; which was the protocol, as was taking her medication chart (she’d been waaaay high for BSL that morning so this dip was SCARY). It took another incident before the vet decided to use an interstitial fluid monitor, and the results backed up our concerns that Debbie was having completely random highs/lows and spikes with no real pattern. She had the vet recommended food and no treats outside of the ones she was allowed, and at times suggested by the vet. Except on her last day when the vet said she could absolutely have a wholw happy meal, and little Debbie was DELIGHTED. I have the funniest photo of her with it all in her mouth looking excited but not sure where to go from there, but it still makes me cry to look at it because we lost her just three weeks ago. (We did rip it into little mouthfuls for her, though. Just to clarify.) She was placed on a higher dose, after that, and was completely stable from there. It was the testing that initially identified a flaw, though, and we are forever grateful that PPAWs stepped in on that day.

And the point of my rambling speech... is that shit happens. Especially with these dogs, cats, horses, and all the other animals they rescue.  Emergencies are often the most expensive to cover for charities.

On the upside! Donations also help with a) transporting animals to carers around the region, and b) on the occasion that an animal’s new furever family is interstate, they can be flown to them!

Lots of stuff.

Think about the mess of words, and consider donating - to PPAWs, or find out the name of your local charity and see if they need help!