#i dont remember Quotes exactly. i remember Good Moments that had nice lines

[jade-kyo]

RvB 20th rewatch: s12

Aaaagahhahhsjshaj the mid point to the end…. Fucking agony

I never noticed the cabose written in bullet holes on the wall. Nice reference.

“I AM FUCKING AWESOME” that single moment made me fall in love with Felix…. Yeah that didn’t last

“Yay I have friends!” Me too Caboose

“You’re oddballs that don’t exactly fit in” I feel like the Chorus trilogy is just a love letter to what these characters represent to… well people like me who found comfort in a group of loser assholes finding strength and connection in each other

There is a warthog that is absolutely freaking out in the background AGDKHAKSHS

AYO Ray and Michael cameo!!!

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER

Grif’s mental breakdown

Hmmmm thinking about Locus and Felix not being able to return to normal life after the war…

AAAAAHHHH THEIR STRENGTH IS THEIR IDIOCY

I do feel that sometimes they overuse animation in this season… I think animation should be reserved strictly for the most necessary and funniest of bits and bad ass action scenes

Caboose gets to be the one with a good bad idea!!!!

WHY SNOWMAN

DR GRAY!!!!!! MY BELOVED

It really was a big brain move to make the feds actually not evil at all and kinda just as pathetic as the rebels

HOLY SHIT HES BILINGUAL PLEASE DONT KILL ME

“You give meaning to meaningless objects and meaningless people and then risk your lives to protect them, where’s the sense in that” I’m telling you this arc is a love letter to what this show means

Gray is unhinged- she fits right in!

Bro just got incinerated

FELIX YOU RAT BASTARD

I felt so betrayed- in hindsight I really should’ve seen it coming but I thought Felix was funny

Yo I never actually caught that Locus hands the grenade to Carolina- for some reason I always thought she just had a grenade on her

CAROLINA BABYGIRL!!!!!!!

YOU FUCK!!!!! (Just so we’re clear that was an absolutely necessary animated bit 👍🏼)

AAAAHHHH EPSILON AND CAROLINA MY BELOVED AHSKHAKSHSKHSKSH

THEYRE SO SILLY

DELTA!!!!!!

THETA!!!!!

I love the fragments ajkdhakshksh

“Just you and me sis” I AM SO NORAML ALANSKLA IA AMANA SNORNSMNSK JAKAHSNLAJANKSJSKSHWKBSKSNKSHWKSHMSK

PSYCHOANALYSIS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!

Love that Caboose is the only one who didn’t do something to the ship

I AM AN EMOTIONAL TIME BOMB Jesus Christ

“I believe he said he was paid in babies”

Lopez a real one for being the only one to remember Doc

Love the conversation between grimmons back at the crash site. nuance about Simmons and leadership or something… if you catch what I mean… Restoration (what who said that)

“MY LIFE JUST FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES!! IT WAS AWESOME!!!” Quoted line

AAAAAHHHHHHH TUCKER AND WASH!!!!!!!!

Dr. Gray my beloved

TUCKER CABOOSE MOMENT!!!

Wash was pretty dumb to just accept Freckles without question but also I never questioned it either so I can’t exactly judge

CABOOSE MY BELOVED AHAJSJAKDHKSJSKDN

SO SHUT UP AND GET OVER IT!!! Caboose finally gets to be the one to tell someone to shut up!!!!!

“Just say you’re sorry” agskahkshskjsksAJGDKAHSKHDKSGSKVDKDJKSN THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH

CHURCH TUCKER MY BELOVED!!!!!

“Seriously? That’s it, no ‘I’m sorry’ nothing?” Carolina I feel you but also if these guys weren’t completely emotionally constipated at all times I probably wouldn’t love them as much

Also Tucker and Church’s little moment of poking fun at Carolina is so cute omg

Trocadero you are truly something to behold

TUCKER YOU ARE THE BEST OF THEM!!!!!!!

Imagine if Tucker and Church had also gotten caught in Locus and Felix’s teleporter… wouldn’t that have sucked please god I already have a big fic I’m planning I don’t need another

COLONEL SARGE

Why is Carolina so damn BIG next the chairman in that picture ajhdkahsj

P.S. suck our balls

Being completely honest I do think s12 is a little bit of the weak link in the chorus trilogy. It’s not bad but I just find more enjoyment in s11 and s13 but it is possibly Tucker at his best GOD I love him… anyway, pain 🙂

[taniushka12]

Top 5 quotes from W359? 👀

ufff........ quotes... quotes........ disclaimer these are mostly moments bc most of my relistens stop at s3 bc im not fond of jacobi nor maxwell and i have a terrible memory for quotes per se :')

1) minkowski my beloved minkowski commanding my beloved id die for her id kill for her

MINKOWSKI: You wanna play with me, huh? You wanna run rings around me? The joyless, boring, predictable old Minkowski? She can't stop you, right? Not someone as smart and powerful as you. You've got her pegged. Good. Get complacent. Get smug. That's right when you'll find me waiting for you. With a goddamm harpoon.

2) Eiffel to minkowski on securité :) like god do i even need to say it?

"Uh, yeah, they can go screw themselves. The entire universe will freeze before you're not the Commander of the Hephaestus."

(and minkowski's response:) ("Well that's... very gallant, in a kind of horrible, crude way.")

3) moment i fell in love w/ cutter aka his very first appearance ♥

(EIFFEL: I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, but, umm... What should we do with Hilbert?

For a moment that just hangs in the air. Then, Mr. Cutter BURSTS in LAUGHTER.)

MR. CUTTER: Oh, Dougy... Doug, Doug, that's not a stupid question, that's not a stupid question at all! ... You're going to shoot him.

4) cheating bc this isnt a quote but part of the transcript but Listen

(KEPLER, telling the pig joke: (...) ""Look: when you got a pig that good? You don't eat it in a single sitting."")

Eiffel takes that in. Stares at Kepler for a moment. And then both men LAUGH SOFTLY.

5) this lil part in hilbert's monologue (Am I Alone Now?)

"But alone... have had time to work on that one, have had eons, should have solved by now. Alone should be afraid of us."

6) hilbert's reply to lovelace on happy endings:

(LOVELACE: (...) when someone lies to you, when someone betrays you, when they leave you to die, alone, in the cold, you DO NOT FIND IT PERFECTLY EQUITABLE! You get angry, and you do whatever you have to in order to show them they have made the worst mistake of their lives. It doesn't matter what you have to give up, who you have to hurt, how far you have to go -)

HILBERT: Isabel... are you listening to yourself?

special mention to stuff that aren't quotes but are still among my favorites:

1) eiffel's "and then he woke up" and also the way he asks "you haven't figured out music?" in the watchtower is just... so dear to me

2) CUTTER'S AND PRYCE'S GOD SPEECH

3) "EVERYONE (with massive relief): The plant monster took the screwdriver :'D"

4) your honor

EIFFEL: C'mon, do you know how unnerving it is for me to be like, this thing she's doing, it's gotten too crazy? I'm Mr. Too Crazy! But you're going on 10 days of Captain Ahab's SpaceWalkabout, and it isn't working. The Heart of Darkness lighting? When does that ever end well?

MINKOWSKI: I have night-vision gear, Eiffel.

EIFFEL Oh, well that's fine then.

5) cutter's "Hell of a sunset. Someone ought to use it in a movie." and then after they reunite and they have their discussion Pryce just stares at the star and echoes "That's a hell of a sunset." like hhhhskgfsdd!!!!!! they <3 </3

6) from the same ep when eiffel and minkowski have pryce (and kepler but who cares) as a hostage and cutter tries to reason w/ them and minkowski says "Oh, see, that's funny. I'm not feeling particularly reasonable right now. I'm feeling like I might do something rash. Rash and impulsive.". That entire scene was very sexy of both min and eiffel ♥

[put “top 5” anything in my ask and ill answer]

[yetremains]

“...”

“Well damn, alright.” Yang downed the rest of her tea quickly, before gasping for a breath as she shoved her cup away.

“Lightning round, lets go!”

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

“It was in my young teen years, 15 I think. I’d been dating that individual for a couple weeks before they abruptly decided to kiss me then and there. We’d been dancing around the subject for a while. It wasn’t spicy or romantic, merely spur of the moment. Was sweet though. The year after that we had broke up and remained friends for a while until we lost contact.”

french vanilla: how old are you?

“You shouldn’t ask someone their age when they been through shit. Too god damn old is the best answer if you must know. I’m older than 28, trust me. Don’t let looks fool you. But hey, I’m getting even older come December 25th!”

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

“Do places long gone count? Can I say Home? Nah probably not. So three places let’s see... Japan, China, Romania. The actual places not whatever anything makes them out to be.”

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

“I know a damn lot of languages actually. Sometimes it’s hard to think of the right words to say because of this, knowing so many. It’s one reason I’m so odd with my way of speaking. However, I would not mind learning some dead languages. If that doesn’t count, then... Persian?”

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

“Ah hell. I mean, I’m not much of a cosmetic expert here. I work with whatever I really need for a music show or for just every day. I could say L’Oreal because I’m worth it joke but that seems in bad taste. If I was using cosmetics just for the enjoyment or to look special, I just try and get whatever works for me.”

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

“Answered this one~!”

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

“Plenty. I’ve decided to learn a few different ones so I can mix together my own music needs of demands arise for it. But I really enjoy stringed instruments or wind instruments. I carry a small harmonica or Ryūteki in my packs.”

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

“Not easy to give an answer for, I’ve got a really broad taste. But I’m thinking something with a heavier beat at the moment-”

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

“Oh come on this makes it harder. As I said, broad taste. I can find enjoyment in many kinds of music and lyrics. Can’t exactly answer a favorite song for life here.”

cheesecake: what’s your zodiac sign?

“Which zodiac are we talking here? There are a lot out there. But the first one into my head is Capricorn. I am on the 25th of December.”

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

“As nice as the ocean can be, fuck the ocean. I’ll enjoy the coast line just fine but you won’t catch me swimming that far out in it. There is damn good reason why I don’t like the ocean much anymore. I’ll relax in a pool or a lake or river, thank you.”

chocolate chip: what’s your most popular post?

“Good question. I’ve made a few social media posts that exploded. But that’s probably not fair considering the music I do. I think my most popular is from years ago when I spray painted a statue of a certain someone to look like a baboon.”

bubblegum: books or movies?

“Both! Why choose? I enjoy both quite a bit. and besides, Books can always be there no matter what. And can hold so much valuable information depending what you are reading.”

pistachio: manga or anime?

“... Both again? But I prefer novels. This is more a guilty pleasure.”

salted caramel: favorite movies?

“I can’t remember the last movie I watched, if I’m honest, let alone a favorite movie.”

birthday cake: favorite books?

“Hmmm. Hard one. I enjoy the collected works of Edgar Allen Poe? There is Shōgun. The Mark of Zorro, Sherlock Holmes, Bram Stoker Dracula... There’s several.”

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

“Not exactly applicable, I don’t remember the name of any I like when I was young.”

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

“The same as above. Wow I am old... I should really get in touch with these things again.”

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

“Hah, I loved science and history. A damn lot really. I’ve used both to really help my self along and it’s come in handy. My need for knowledge had me spend a lot of time researching.”

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

“I’ve not had any pets since I was a rookie. Never had the time to truly care for one, and now with a hectic life, I’m not gonna do that to an animal.”

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

“Suppose just to exist and have something to do between pit stops.”

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

“It is torn between two for me. A nice warm day, clear, maybe with a gentle breeze. Some clouds above, and calm. That’s the ideal outing day... But, I suppose due to my birthday, I can enjoy a soft snow coming down,some snow on the ground, watching through a window with tea in hand while bundled up and warm. Much prefer clear day though.”

black cherry: four words that describe you?

“Now that’s just not fair. Let me think... Loyal, Determined, Caring, Protective.”

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

“Being reminded of my failings and those I’ve lost... the people I’ve hurt... Thinking about friends I wish I was closer too but too fearful to be that close. Hm. I can also be stressed out by far too much stimulation for my brain at once that it can spin my gears way too quickly.”

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

“Again, broad tastes. But depending on my mood or feelings, it changes what my favorite kind of music can be. But I will always enjoy something gentle and calming.”

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

“I’ve always been partial to chocolates, or cream items.”

toffee: a card game that you’re good at?

“Ever hear of a game called Egyptian Rat Race? Also known as Egyptian Rat Screw, dunno why of course. I learned this game when I was a kid. 52 card deck, deal to each player until the deck is entirely used and everyone has a pile face down. Starting to the left of the dealer players pull the top card off their pile and place it face-up in the middle. If the card played is a number card, the next player puts down a card, too. This continues around the table until somebody puts down a face card or an Ace. When a face card or an ace is played, the next person in the sequence must play another face card or an ace in order for play to continue.If the next person in the sequence does not play a face card or an ace within their allotted chance, the person who played the last face card or an ace wins the round and the whole pile goes to them. The winner begins the next round of play.“

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

“Uh... Admittedly not often. With my metabolism problem I absolutely should, considering the demanding needs. I just can’t always bring my self to do so, the will for it isn’t there. I do snack though.”

dark chocolate: turn ons?

“Ooohh boy... Now this one has me turning a bit red here. I mean there is biting and tight holds, the usual stuff. But... I’m not gonna list a lot here, a turn on can be blindfolding me if I trust my partner enough.”

fudge: turn offs?

“Being an asshole, for one.”

peach: how do you relax?

“A nice cup of tea, maybe some soft music, and let my mind unwind a little. That’s if I’m alone. Otherwise a gentle conversation with a friend about small things... Once upon a time long ago I would have said long hugs or cuddling. Not an option these days.”

praline: a popular book you haven’t read yet?

“I’ve not read The Golden Compass, that has been on my to do list.”

superman: do you like sweaters?

“Weird how this one is with sweaters... but yeah I can enjoy sweaters in the right weather. They can be soft and warm, comfy. Great for cold days.”

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

“I drink both actually. But if I have the option for a good tea I’m going to take it without hesitation. Yet the spark of energy from Coffee can’t be denied.”

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

“Without a doubt, Taisho-goto. Have you seen one of those? It’s so intricate and amazing, and can sound wonderful. It can be used to play all sorts of things. Fascinates me that the item was half inspired by a typewriter.”

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

“Oh a few times actually. It’s been a good long while now since I’ve gone that far, but it’s come close. But once upon a time this has happened!”

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

“To Become A Functioning Website.”

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

“Now that’s just kissing and telling...” (( I’d also have to tag and dont wanna spam. ))

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“Oddly specific, but... Variations of ‘One time she punched me in the face. It was awesome.’. “

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

“Uh, natural and colorless? I’ve not painted my nails in a while.”

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

“I have yes.”

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

“Again, yes. We’re not gonna go into this can of worms.”

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

“Sometimes. There comes the occasion when one does get exhausted and needs a damn nap.”

mint: the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

“Get way too flustered and accidentally admit I liked someone.”

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

“Completely! You say we’re going to get Sushi and you have my full attention.”

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

“Home unfortunately.”

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

“Nope! I’m thankful for that, but one day I have no doubt that’s going to change.”

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

“Mochi green tea, chocolate chip mint, red bean, Strawberry shortcake... Gelato raspberry or orange cream.”

[evans-heaven]

Oh look more notes on Defending Jacob (ep. 5 this time also still not spoiler free)

As per usual I'm not a pro this is all in good fun I'm biased blah blah blah hope y'all enjoy 💕🤣

The moment I heard the song the episode opening with I was like "really? 🤨" why is this dark ass show opening with a bunch of singing munchkins lmao BUT it all made sense once I saw it was graduation. Of course upon learning this fact i was then sad, cause it meant Jacob was missing it. Poor kid is missing out on a pretty big milestone and who knows how many others in the future because of the murder, and that's sad (keep in mind this was before he called Sarah a sl*t so he still had a lil bit of my favor/sympathy but now fuck him) 😭😔

Kinda side eyeing Joan now cause she spat on Laurie (more on that later) but damn if she didn't make me tear up with how much she was struggling to give her speech. Idk what it's like to lose a kid, especially your only kid, but I couldn't imagine having the strength to even get up, let alone face his entire class that I know he should be with. Mad props to her 💕

I'm gonna honest, just as Andy was looking at Billy before he sat and they started talking, my immediate thought was "ugh he looks like such a doll 😭" Andy is v distracting don't blame me ANYWAY.

The grey/blue tones of this scene set the mood perfectly, paired by the expressions and amazing acting. Here we have a father and son that haven't spoken in decades. There's gonna be tension, there's gonna be a bite in their tones, especially given the circumstances. No smiles, unless you count Billy's halfway smirk and Andy's sarcastic laughing. I adore how it was portrayed because I imagine it was pretty realistic.

No hate BUT I still feel like Laurie could have told Andy about her encounter with the reporter. Even if theres nothing that could have been done, it would have still been a good idea to brace him for the article's release. He shouldn't have had to find out about it via Joanna shoving the magazine towards him. I ain't saying her lie was as bad as his but...it still happened. And meeting a reporter, even if she was ambushed, is a big deal. Who knows what was said and done and what could be twisted?

Can't a woman spontaneously buy 4th of July shit without getting spit on? I know Joan is grieving, I know her heart is broken and I know her mind is all over the place. But spitting on people isn't gonna fix that. Even if it makes them feel bad.

Backtracking here I actually thought she was gonna slap her but anyway

Duffy is so done w this man and shes a whole mood lmao. Andy's gonna get thrown in jail for stalking and harrassment if he keeps this shit up and his ass gets more and more risky. I can't for the life of me get how Derek's mom didn't blow his ass up for even talking to her kid. He looked uncomfortable af 😭 also puncturing her damn tire? In broad daylight? You wanna tell me no one saw him? Either way, bad Andrew.

I know I said the quote "our memories are often unreliable" could tie into Laurie's memory about Jacob at the bowling alley. Even so, I have a hard time seeing how it could be viewed differently. Unless her memory is twisting itself and making her remember things worse than they are given the circumstances, what was the actual backstory? Laurie is going down a dark path though, so who knows what else her mind is gonna do to her.

So who's gonna help me keep Sarah away from these messy ass boys?? Poor girl already knows some shit (a little or a lot) about Ben's murder, I think that's enough drama for her to be involved in. She doesn't need Derek being a creepy stalker thinking hes superman or Jacob sl*tshaming her like the ungrateful little prick he is. On that note, Ben is also a little prick for the way he treated Sarah before he died. So I maintain, get her away from these messy ass boys. Also maybe I'm biased but I dont think shes the murderer and anyone who does can suck it. If I'm wrong I never said this but i know I'm right lol okay but seriously don't quote me if I'm not.

I spoke enough about the closet scene so scroll through my ask tag for all my thoughts lmao 🤣🥴

I spoke a little about the cutter p*rn here but real talk, Andy's response shouldn't have been to take Jacob fishing. Even if he deleted it from his search, he still found out and still investigated for himself. So why not confront him? Like I said, it may or may not be a big deal. 

I been through this before but...Andy Barber is a good fucking dad. To a fault, maybe, but he loves his kid so damn much and that's heart warming to see-in their more casual moments of course, not when hes making these dumbass moves lmao. I know damn near any parent would want to take their kid's place, and Andy said so. Even if he can't actually do that, hes still willing to put himself in danger if it means protecting his kid.

Andy's face when Laurie told him he has Billy's eyes said a lot. He doesn't wanna hear the similarities between him and that man. Not given their relationship (or lack thereof) or the way they last encounter went. Also, similarities between them could directly mean similarities between Billy and Jacob, which is exactly what they're trying to avoid. I made fun of the murder gene I know, but they could still be concerned with it.

Lil post on the final scene here cause I still feel the same lmao but also Matt you had a big fucking mouth when you were telling your mom to shut up weren't you? So why so quiet now?

Some more shorter notes:

Laurie's smile when she saw Sarah was so precious 😭

Andy Laurie absolutely did not feel the same but idk where those present day scenes are going lol

Also fuck Neal

OF ALL FUCKING SONGS TO HEAR IN THE GROCERY 🤣😩

Man you could put a grey filter over this damn show and it wouldn't make a difference lmao

I love the little pop of color Sarah's work shirt gives, definitely reflects her character and how bright she seems to be in Jacob's life (before he called her a sl*t) and in the show overall.

Laurie's look after Joanna told him good work said it all 🤣🥴

That "hey...hey. Listen to me" in that voice...just fuck me okay.

Andy's laugh after Jacob told him "tell your face" tho 😭🤣 also nice callback to the first ep. with that line!

Thats all for now, til episode six lovelies <3

[blackasmidnightcats]

Continued discussion about Sophie's "redemption arc"

Original post from @agathasarmy

@agathasarmy I've moved this to a new post cause I have a lot of feelings and still want to continue this discussion and I hope you don't mind

So anyways...

(this wouldve been also a great way to introduce the concept of legacies, especially with the past vs. present. vs. future theme and it would also parallel tedros’ storyline as they’re both dealing with the fallout of carrying their predecessor’s glory)

YESSSS

All of them have big shoes to fill because of the people who've nurtured and believed in them

One thing I really hated in the camelot years was the lack of mourning that Agatha and Sophie did for Callis and Lady Lesso respectively.

That is the kind of anguish that I was looking for. Just them being children and missing their parent/parental figure and wishing that they could still be someone's child who could look out for them and motivate them when they needed.

Like Sophie remembering that Lady Lesso believed in her the way that Sophie could never do and Agatha remembering how her mother would have wanted her daughter to live out her life with with love and adventure.

Let's not even get with Tedros (that's a whole other meta in itself)

so far all i got was lesso and hester being the best examples of it, but what i also got from them was that Evil wasnt being cruel but serving as the balance to Good like ok???? what exactly does that entail??

Exactly, I'm really frustrated about this because as much as Soman has tried to make us understand that Good and Evil are equals, he has never actually shown us how equal they can be since all the Evil figures that we have are usually helping Good.

I'm really pissed that the Coven's quest involve them finding a new School Master when they have absolutely no need to do that. They should be doing their own stuff instead. It's the one thing I shame Prof Dovey for.

that was what I expected the series would be: Tedros and Agatha as Good because Good always stands stronger together, and Sophie as Evil because Evil is best alone, but not lonely

I stand behind your point about "Alone but not Lonely" quote because if that does not describe Sophie's biggest problem than I don't know what does. She can have all the fans that she wants and build the whole School for Evil in her tribute and pretend that she's a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man but she'll still feel the loneliness seep through if she doesn't have a closure with her insecurities and envy

instead Soman subverted our expectations in the worst way possible since GoT S8 (dont @ me)

I will stand by you with the hate for GoT s8. That was a trainwreck so badly done it imploded on itself. Recently, writers that have big productions have been having a hard time gracefully ending their stories

EXACTLY I JUST KNOW SOMAN’S GONNA BRUSH IT OFF OR BARELY MENTION IT WHEN THIS KIND OF DIALOGUE IS MORE IMPORTANT TO THE MESSAGE OF THE STORY THAN SOMAN RANDOMLY INSERTING DOVEY AS TEDROS’ GODMOTHER OR REAPER BEING KING FOR PLOT CONVENIENCE

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I WILL NOT STOP BEING SO FREAKING BITTER ABOUT IT.

Soman was off with a good start on that one. I would have been more interested with Sophie trying to handle her narcissistic desires vs her need to actually be a decent Dean to all the new students just like how Lady Lesso was for her. Her understanding how to be Evil and be herself would have been a nice read.

if soman had to bring back a trope from the last era, it would be the discussion of dichotomies i.e. Good vs. Evil, instead of the evil lover trope cos aint nobody got the time for that

YESSS

It's still technically the school for GOOD AND EVIL SERIES even if we go to a new era I was hoping that Soman would still have these as the roots but NOOOO.

His obsession with Sophie obsessing over boys that obsess over her is a strong one apparently.

like at this point it’ just really blatantly obvious how much Soman favors Sophie and I wouldnt be that bothered if he didnt sacrifice the plot or the other characters’ brain cells to go along with it cos to this day I refuse to believe that people really would just accept Rhian like that after reading The Tale of Sophie and Agatha

EXCATLY. I HONESTLY COULD NOT UNDERSTAND SOME OF THE DECISIONS OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS ABOUT THIS.

Like did no one still understand that not everything is what it seems?!

I am baffled with how easy they trusted a comeplete stranger over Agatha who has proven over and over and over again that she fights for the good of EVERYONE and is perfecrly willing to sacrifice her happiness for theirs.

Like at this point I'm thinking that her fairy tale propably does not do justice for everything that she's been through cause if the other people of the Woods read her story the way we did, there would be no doubt that we would stand behind Agatha for a lifetime

like cmon people we went through this already?? a random hot stranger coming out of nowhere??? ITS THE RED FLAG

In defense with them, (and I am saying this very, very off handedly) Rhian did come around saving everyone's asses and was a pretty decent guy (NOT).

WHAT I AM REALLY SURPISED ABOUT IS THAT THEY WANT A PIECE OF HIM AND HOW EASILY THEY TRUSTED HIM WITH EVERYTHING

I THOUGHT THE POINT OF THIS SERIES WAS TO SHOW THAT ROMANCE WASN’T THE ONLY HIGHEST MANIFESTATION OF LOVE, BUT A LOVE BETWEEN FAMILY OR A LOVE FOR ONE’S SELF WAS JUST AS IMPORTANT????

One of my biggest beefs with Soman's writing. He highlights romance too much compared to platonic and self love. I want a moment with Sophie like the one in TLEA where Agatha was getting stressed about letting Sophie and Tedros grow closer and Soman managed to pretty realistically portray that; Agatha was being insecure and possessive and jealous but she let herself reflect on her actions. She made peace with it and faced it with bravery even though it really hurts her. Because she understood that she would never have closure for this if she didn't let it happen.

AGGIE IS THE BEST. I LOVE HER

Why the hell can't Soman write something similar like this for Sophie.

WHY SOMAN PUTTING THIS AMATONORMATIVE BS IN THIS STORY AGAIN LIKE WE ARE TIRED

In fairness, Sophie getting into ANOTHER romantic relationship I will PASS SO HARD.

But for everyone else that deserves some romantic love (TAGATHA PLS) I will accept crawling

also I like your ideas on what could’ve happened instead, with Rhian being more proactive towards Tedros and Agatha instead of Sophie - it would play well into the Camelot myths and themes that I was really expecting in the new era

I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!

If Soman could only just get over his Sophie Obsession, then he would understand that Tedros was the perfect target for Rhian's manipulations and Sophie was the perfect target for the downfall.

I have no idea how the hell did Rhian think (but apparently it worked because soman plot) that seducing Sophie would win him the love of the Woods.

plus it wouldve been a chance for Sophie to actively help them instead of tearing them apart like in the last 3 books?? like she’s kinda doing that rn but it would’ve been nice if she didn’t have a hand in stealing their happiness like she’s always done too

Well...for me she doesn't seem like she's tearing them apart anymore but I stand with your point about her stealing their happiness.

This could have been good, good character development for her. Her realizing that she keeps making tagatha miserable and stealing what belongs to them and the complexity that comes with her inner struggle between her envy vs love for her best friends.

PLUS CHADDICK DESERVED TO LIVE INSTEAD OF BEING KILLED FOR PLOT CONVENIENCE LITERALLY IT’S THE WORST DEATH IN THE SERIES NOT COS IT’S SAD BUT COS IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE AND MAKES FOR TERRIBLE WRITING IMHO

"NOT COS IT'S SAD BUT BECAUSE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE"

SCREAM IT A BIT LOUDER SO SOMAN CAN HEAR IT AT THE BACK!!!!

Soman, I will never forgive you for doing this to this boy.

You could have made Tedros and Chaddick have a falling out. I mean the last time that they interacted was during AWWP and Chaddick treated Tedros as crap. I know that all of us headcanon that these two are each other's best mates but they've barely had significant interactions for me to consider that a case.

They'd be so pressured about not followong the legacy of Arthur and Lance that a small problem could propably tear these two apart.

also, on another point, you would think Sophie would be more sympathetic to Tedros situation given that they’re both leading populations, essentially

plus Sophie learned to understand Tedros’ mind better in awwp??? where the hell did that relationship development went (even if she was Filip at the time)??

I am honestly more suprised at how viciously Tedros seems to treat her.

Like it wasn't that long after TLEA that Tedros was perfectly willing to let Sophie stay in Camelot and even asked her to visit but come his coronation (which was like less than a day after) he keeps on proclaiming about how happy he is with her out his life and in aCoT his distrust for her was off the roof.

Then there is the Handbook ordeal with Sophie just completely roasting Tedros like what happend to the two of you?

I don't even understand Soman's decision about this. It doesn't even affect the actual storyline in anyway. It's just Sophie and Tedros at each other's throats.

Tedros has been treated the crappiest out of the main trio (let’s be honest) as if the game was built to oppose him, meanwhile Sophie gets major Soman privilege and is given the role ONCE AGAIN that could change the game

THIS

It's the reason why I can't even read AWWP anymore. It hurts too much to have to read at how badly the other characters treat him. Just reading the first line of that book gets me anxious.

And PREACH THAT SOPHIE HAS MAJOR SOMAN PRIVILEGES.

This is why I was actually suprised that Soman shared that he planned on killing Sophie off at the end of TLEA but we'll never how that story went

like if the School Years was for Sophie to realize and accept her Evilness, couldnt Soman have decided to give Tedros and Agatha the deciding roles this time around given that, you know, it’s called the CAMELOT YEARS ERA???

Honestly, I just want Tedros to have the most agency out of all the characters. Like make his decisions actually matter to the plot. Make him the center of the plot and revolve Rhian's plans around him instead of being against him cause that's exactly how Agatha's role in the school years era was for Rafal.

The basic formula goes like this;

Sophie important to the Rafal's/Rhian's/Japeth's/hell even Evelyn Sader's plan

Agatha/Tedros are in the way of that plan so they have to go

Agatha/Tedros saves Sophie's ass

Sophie making the big decision

Like didn't Soman say that he didn't want to be that repetitive writer? That's why he changed the ending of AWWP because it was too similar to the first book?

WTF SOMAN?

she’s still out here wanting someone to look at her the tedros looks at agatha (honestly big mood right there) but I wish this didn’t have to be her main conflict

This is actually why I'm not that mad that Sophie fell for Rhian. Because at the end of the day Sophie will be Sophie.

But I agree I kinda hoped that she wouldn't be as guilible

the girl is smart and knows her worth so I can’t really understand why she decided to get ENGAGED to the next person (Hort obviously cant count cos plot) who tells her she looks pretty???

NOW THIS. THIS IS MY BEEF WITH SOPHIE.

I can understand why she'd date him but MARRIAGE?! That was going a little bit too far.

You'd think after her engagement with Rafal that she'd be TRAUMATIZE for the next one.

And honestly it would have been hella funny if she did feel this way. Imagine Rhian nearly getting all that he needed but Sophie just straight up leaves him on the stage cause she's still got issues with it.

Would have been my favorite scene

And Hort, poor boy, he needs character development of his own. I'm not his fan honestly and currently, he's not winning me over.

ALSO THE FACT THAT SHE ENDS UP BEING CONSIDERED FOR THE ROLE OF QUEEN OF CAMELOT INFURIATES ME SO MUCH COS WE WENT THROUGH THAT SHIT IN TLEA???? WHY ARE WE BRINGING THIS UP AGAIN????

THIS. THIS IS MY BEEF WITH SOMAN

Can he not understand that she would be crap as QUEEN?

A parallel I noticed with Rhian and Sophie is that they both completely remodeled their respective castles in their image. Not even considering anyone else. And they both treat their faculty as crap.

Kinda tells us that she really would be crap as queen.

At least the Camelot citizens had enough braincells not to fall for this crap

Every other kingdom in the Woods though. They better be budgeting gold to Tedros and Agatha once they're back on the throne.

(and im so so tired of Sophie stealing Agatha’s Ever After from her, indirectly or not, like cant she just be happy for her best friend and move the plot in some way other than this???)

I really do believe envy is only one of the things that Sophie needs to sort out. The fact that she admitted at the end of TLEA that she does, in fact, feel envious that Agatha gets to be a queen and her little episode in the Ever Never Roundtable about how she's the one with the official title of queen and that Agatha isn't even a princess says a lot.

I wouldn't have minded if Sophie had a slight blackout and just lost it and saying mean things about Agatha but instantly regreting it because no matter what, deep down in the foundations of her soul, she loves Agatha with everything that she has. And is she has the be in a constant battle with herself about this fact then she's willing to keep on fighting. That would have been satisfying to read.

I mean just imagine if Sophie was there when Agatha was leading her army and Hester mentions that Agatha is Queen in the School, in Camelot, or anywhere elsse in the Woods. They would follow her. Willingly.

Sophie would have had a panic attack.

This girl needs to learn that she can't force people to be loyal and follow her by making every physical reminder of how amazing she is but instead she needs to lead and make some sacrifices of her own because she's doing these sacrifices in the benefit of Evil and its future instead of herself.

Sophie appreciating people?? Not only remembering them when she needs something from them??? Like @ soman im not asking her to be the next Mother Theresa but I’ll take this character development pls and thank u

I am all in for Sophie appreciating everyone. If she can't do it for other people, then she better do it for Evil.

[nomorevanillabeanicecream]

no more vanilla bean ice cream

they were out of vanilla bean ice cream, they had vanilla, french vanilla, sweet cream vanilla and cheesecake vanilla, but not vanilla bean, when did everyone all of a sudden get into vanilla bean, everyone was a pig they could not care less about the bean in the vanilla or not, but now apparently everyone was into vanilla bean ice cream because last week there was a full row of umpqua vanilla bean ice cream and now there was none

so I’m waiting in line at safeway with my subpar vanilla ice cream after I had gone on a much needed quarantine run right after spending two hours texting my friend and she was telling me about how google owns all the data in the world and not only has enough data to know me better than myself, but since they know everyone else’s data too, they know my friends data so they know me in context, the whole thing was very depressing so depressing i didnt even want to use a period in my writing anymore because what the fuck was the point of punctuation anyway in this world, i would still be nice and use commas, just to give my fingers a break and be able to get a thought in or so. 

i guess i could also accommodate for paragraphs break at visually appropriate times, it didn't matter if it was contextually appropriate or not, i was going to drop a paragraph break because i know people like paragraphs, charles dickens and dostoevsky and jane austen and leo tolstoy never made paragraph breaks that's why no one ever read their books, people just say they read them to seem smart but they never really read them they just knew it was the right thing to say that they were literary geniuses because their books were so long, see people like to lie and say they know the work of a great author even though they only read a few  quotes by them, but that was enough to say good and bad things about writers without ever knowing what the hell they did, few understand the theory of relativity but everyone calls einstein a genius. 

the thing about quarantine was that at this point i had gotten used to seeing very few people in my life and i was enjoying it so whenever i had to go to the supermarket i had to see all these people and boy were they gross, maybe i would not have seen them as so gross if had gotten my vanilla bean ice cream but i had not so, they were gross, they were all getting so fat, and fat in like weird ways, not like fat on the sides like the michelin tire guy or a cute belly like the pillsbury dough boy or like that kinda funny superfat like homer simpson or peter griffin they were just gross fat, like it looked like they had just been eating garbage and watching netflix fat, like this one guy seemed like if you got a pillowcase filled it up with hot lard and then poked two pool cues on the bottom of it, this other lady looked like a minifridge emptied into a potato sack.

the asses were the worst part, it was kinda hot so everyone was wearing shorts and it was not appropriate when they wear shorts always have that like red line right under the shorts and it does not look that great, the oddest one was the skinny ass but with fat legs, i did not get that one, the person would have no ass mass at all but then the legs were super fat i did not understand what they were doing to get their bodies to look this way, a lot of people were also walking around with wedgies, a lot of people were also walking around in pajamas covered in animal hair and it was gross, its like you have nowhere to go, you are all complaining about not having the right to go out, so when you do go out why not maybe spruce things up, honour life, honour your fellow human, no, screw that we are all going to behave like the whole entire public sphere is a big ass pijama party,

the whole facemask thing, wait before, i start talking about the facemask thing, everytime i start a new paragraph, google is trying to force me into capitalizing the first letter, it doesn't even ask me if i want to capitalize it, it just goes ahead and does it, google is such an presumptuous douche sometimes, now when i write in gmail, it autocompletes all my sentences, great so we can all sound like robots, and it does it like automatically, so i ending having to erase the lame sentence it wrote, i mean i would have probably come up with something similar or exactly the same too, after all there are only  so many ways to say goodbye, but id like to think it was my idea, these engineers had no savoir faire, just so you know, so now i hope that everytime you start to read a new paragraph you imagine me hitting the backspace button to delete their fascist capital letters, and its frustrating because im really trying to write as fast as i can, i bet you can tell

see it happened again, and its not that i just have to hit the delete, i have to get my mouse and put my cursor there so it like detects its not just on mistake i am trying to delete their smartass capital letter, so yeah to the facemask thing, the whole facemask thing was pretty dumb, i mean if the facemask was the windshield to the coronavirus i didnt get how casual people were being about, they would just pull it right down under their noise, oh great now you have all your coronavirus on your nostrils, what the hell, i didnt get it, im pretty sure noone in that safeway store had coronavirus, and it was coronavirus not covid19, what is it about us having to find dandy little names for things, it was the coronavirus and thats that, so yeah we were all carrying about these facemasks that if they were really protecting us from the coronavirus lingering in the air then we were being flagrantly irresponsible in our use, but deep down we all felt it wasnt, but we just had to wear one because it was the rule, but we all knew noone in the store had coronavirus

it may sound weird, but i think you know when someone has coronavirus, its like you can just tell, you know like other things you can just tell about a person, i remember i once went up to san francisco about a month ago, and i saw this guy on the muni line headed to the bayview that for sure had coronavirus, he wasnt coughing or anything, but i saw him and i knew he definitely had coronavirus, it wasnt because he was black or chinese or  anything, this isnt like a hidden racist joke, i could just tell, i freaked out , and i havent gone up to the city since then, and then, lo and behold they announced that a muni driver got the corona and that the bayview district had the most corona cases in the cities, see sometimes you can just tell

im pretty sure that day i even had the corona on me, i mean i didnt get it, but im pretty sure it landed on my hand, but i washed it before i touched any of my mucous parts, but it was there with me, i dont think it was from the guy on the bus thought, i think it landed from this other guy, i went to a deli to buy water, bananas, coca cola and chocolate and this guy was kinda drunk and talking real loud and coming real close and i could feel the air get really moist when he passed by me and my hand was exposed and i know that at that moment some of it got on my hand, but i didnt panic, i knew i couldnt lose my cool, i had to just play it smooth, and wait till i could get to the studio and wash my hand and everything else, i was really thorough i walked the whole way back to the studio with my hand outstretched so it wouldnt touch my jacket or anything, i could feel it was there, it was for sure there, but i played it cool and washed it and nothing happen, but i was that close 

 and thats why you have to wash your hands because you could be that close too to having coronavirus, so see im not that crazy, that the reason they recommend us all to wash our hands, because at some point it could be that close to you, and if you don't wash your hand before your touch your eye, boom you got coronavirus, crazy to think that you too could have had coronavirus on you, and you could have, but now i think there isnt that much coronavirus on things anywhere, i think the coronavirus is like hiding or something, i think the coronavirus are like finding their niches and stuff, like if you ask me i think the coronavirus right now is probably somewhere where the sun dont shine, i bet it like flew to a a dirty dive bar that was totally shut down windows boarded and everything, but its there just chilling on the sticky counter, waiting to come back in the summer, i also think it might be at like some nasty to-go food place, like there is this wing place open till midnite around my house, i bet there is a little coronavirus there, but only a little bit, and its like one of the lazy ones, so i dont think it feels like jumping on anyone

at work i have to tell the staff how to wash their hands, i tell them they have to wash on top of their hand, palm of their hand, each finger, in between fingers, under the finger nails, and up to the elbow, but i mean if they have coronavirus, and their touching my food, i think its going to get on the to go box anyway, but its the rules so i play along, i even translated the rules, and told them to sign a paper, the paper also said that they had to wear a facemask, its not like they have multiple facemasks, i mean we are going to give them a few, but its up to them to wash it, one guy asked me if he could use the same one for a few days, i told him no, but i mean even if he washes his facemask before work and then lets say he puts it in his pocket, what if his jacket has corona but his facemask doesnt, itd be a real shame if his corona jacket infected his noncorona facemask, but i saw him and i dont think he had corona anyway

im repeating the same point and the rant is losing steam, so i gotta ramp it back up, or maybe no, maybe its not all just about ranting, maybe i should tell you some good things, like ill tell you about my run, the day was so nice, it was bright and sunny, and thats really all i gotta say, the point that i have more to say about right now is that i feel like im writing like that kid from catcher in the rye, that kid was a real case, i cant say i disliked the kid, but i wouldnt hang out with him, i mean in general i wouldnt be hanging out with high schoolers, but i might hang out with him after he grows up, i think we were all like that kid at some point, and the ones that arent, are soul dead and just go to work and drink craft beer and probably become those engineers without savoir faire that figure out the code to finish my email sentences

but i also feel that i am writing likes james joyce in ulysses, those are two books that i read from cover to cover ulysses and catcher in the rye, all it takes is a good fucked up guy to write something honest and you can get me to finish it, james joyce was all about stream of consciousness, crazy to think that ulysses is regularly named the best book of the century, and it wasnt even that bad of a century for books, it was a crazy book, and it was daring and new to just expose how he felt a person thought, and i mean it was pretty smart, because that is how we think, we jump around and we get nervous and self conscious and horny and we think in simple letters, and our memories associate things weirdly, i mean dante was the best writer of all the time, but i dont know anyone that thinks inside their brain in metered stanzas, if there was such a person, i dont know if id like to meet him, it would be a lot to handle good novels have taught me a lot, they've confused me too, but overall taught me things, see life is a grey thing, like there arent absolute values, 

for us human beings, its easy to think of things as black and white, good and bad, yes or no, but thats not how it goes, there is a lot of grey area, and thats why i guess i liked ulysses, see the whole book is about this guy that is roaming around dublin, while he knows his wife is cheating on him, the last chapter is a stream of consciousness from his wifes mind, in which she just goes through her mind thinking about her past lovers and this guy she is cheating on her husband with, and ultimately she feels bad and when her husband climbs back into bed with her, shes like thinking oh there he is again, old leopold, but hes my leopold and she i guess kinda does admit to loving him, life hurts like that sometimes, a woman can still love you but cheat on you, a man can do it too, anyone can cheat on you, but still love you, anyone can hurt you and still love you, its a rough reality, remember i wrote an essay on this book, and the teacher said that i should save it and give it to the woman i marry it was so good, i didnt save it so i guess that wont ever happen, i cant even remember what i said, probably something about forgiveness and the abstract beauty of love, i was only twenty, i could have said anything

i wish i could remember what i wrote though, nowadays a lot of people are walking around with fear of intimacy issues, they are scared to open up to people, you know a lot of people are saying that they have intimacy issues, so i wanted to figure out more,  i looked it up on wikipedia and it said there were four types of people, normal people that love themselves and can share intimacy with others, people that think themselves unworthy of intimacy but seek it, people that are scared of being intimate with others out of fear of rejection, and people that have self worth but think others are undeserving of intimacy, i think the whole thing probably comes from parental stuff, that's always the freudian way of looking at things, its kind of a shame because i think people really do like laying in bed and talking comfortably with someone after a wild fuck, when i wrote the essay i didnt have intimacy issues, but i might now, i dont know, and even if  i did i dont know what type of of person i am,  i guess sometimes people do say some stupid things, and stupid things out of  a naked person are the worst kind of stupid things, whatever its wikipedia, anyone could have written, just like the original science study it supposedly based on,

ok this all getting too gooey and it lost its sharp vibe, i think that we were on a roll, when we were on the coronavirus landing places part, but then i get too serious and stuff, i do still want to talk about books i like, you know like thats one of the favorite things english teachers like to do, they like to analyze all the references that an authour made to other books, normally its the bible or the odyssey or some other greek or roman classic, like ulysses was modeled after the odyssey, i remember the teacher always talked about that, ive never read the odyssey or the iliad, ive heard they are great books, but i try not to say it myself, i do say that homer was a great poet though, but i never read his stuff, i mean ive read the first line, but i dont know the whole story or anything, i guess we are all hypocrites at some point or another, i do know however that ulysses was in one of dantes circles of hell, because he was advisor to deceit, the deceit of having that big horse full of soldiers go into to troy, so he ended up in hell, talking about hell that was another book they loved to reference, the bible, the bible doesnt see things grey, they see it black or white, this morning i woke up at four in the morning, and i couldnt get back to bed, so i pulled to a random spot and started reading proverbs, they make it seem so simple, this is good, that is is bad, i wish it were that simple, it used to be that simple like that when i was little kid, maybe it still is but,  i just refuse to see it that way

[weirdlizard26]

For the ask meme? All of them.

jay,,,

give me a sec to edit this post ok

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine

i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book

7. earbuds or headphones?

ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs

9. favorite smell in the summer?

pavement after rain and also. grass.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

sorry i couldnt choose!

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice

18. ideal weather?

when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice

19. sleeping position?

i just lie on my left side like a fool

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notebook!

21. obsession from childhood?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!

22. role model?

kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do

23. strange habits?

repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.

24. favorite crystal?

all of them!!!!!

25. first song you remember hearing?

my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

go for a walk!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

slep

28. five songs to describe you?

we are the people by empire of the sun

home by cavetown

strawberry blonde by mitski

smile like you mean it by the killers

afterlife by arcade fire

29. best way to bond with you?

wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes

30. places that you find sacred?

i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?

*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match

32. top five favorite vines?

road work ahead

a avocado!! thanks!!!!!

REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

i fell can you help me :(

that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles

33. most used phrase in your phone?

idk how to check that??? sowwy

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv

35. average time you fall asleep?

3am? 4am? idk for sure

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

t-trollface…

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on my mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals

41. last person you texted?

jay uwu

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

afabs cant have both huh

but i want both. please give me both.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies

44. favorite scent for soap?

aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

something really really long

47. favorite type of cheese?

there are different types????

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i hope im a pear

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

become a good person. thats all.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier

51. current stresses?

UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!

52. favorite font?

i like comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i dont have one!

55. favorite fairy tale?

gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;

56. favorite tradition?

on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

im torn between sports anime and slice of life

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly

from haikyuu

obviously

62. seven characters you relate to?

tsukishima kei from haikyuu

mae borowski from nitw

apollo justice from ace attorney

flame princess from adventure time

donatello from tmnt

sokka from atla

kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100

63. five songs that would play in your club?

mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds

64. favorite website from your childhood?

if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf

65. any permanent scars?

yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox

66. favorite flower(s)?

idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips

67. good luck charms?

dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,

70. left or right handed?

im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie

71. least favorite pattern?

i like traditional ukrainian ornaments

72. worst subject?

history :P

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

ice cream + fries

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

if its green it can stay

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license, so.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies!

82. pc or console?

i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!

83. writing or drawing?

please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts :O

84. barbie or polly pocket?

idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both

86. cookies or cupcakes?

my heart goes to cookies

87. your greatest fear?

finding out im faking any part of my identity

88. your greatest wish?

get through whatever’s going on right now

89. who would you put before everyone else?

mom

90. luckiest mistake?

when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights……

93. nicknames?

never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name

94. favorite season?

spring ;w;

95. favorite app on your phone?

sudoku

 96. desktop background?

 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

my own and my mom’s

 98. favorite historical era?

eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap

[themagnificentartofshipping]

Im planning on rewatching Once Upon a Time, mostly to watch Emma and Hook fall in love again. Also just to help me realize when exactly I stopped liking certain characters and what has changed in the way i see things now with the series being basically completely over and it being a few years. I might make posts about it, I’m not sure. I’m going to on this, have the opinions i have now prior to rewatching. That will be under the cut because you might not care and some of it is reference for me.

Season 1:Its a great opening for the show. I really enjoyed Regina as the villain and her and Emma’s antagonistic dynamic was great. Emma learning about Henry and their blossoming relationship was the cutest and so great. I also loved the friendship between Emma and Mary Margaret. Had some great quotes. Loved the introduction to the characters and how they are connected to each other. I WILL NEVER GET OVER GRAHAM’S DEATH!!!! It hurt me so much and Regina’s reasoning for killing him was such bullshit. The curse breaking was pretty great. The duality between the Enchanted Forest stories and the Storybrooke ones was very well done and well balanced which i missed in later seasons.

Season 2: I loved this season mostly cause we meet Hook but also because it just continues the storyline nicely. Seeing everyone deal with the aftermath of the curse breaking was good. Emma and the Charmings awkwardly trying to figure out how to do the family thing was endearing. I still liked Regina’s character, the conflict she had in this season made sense and I liked it. Cora was very interesting in this season. Seeing Rumple’s actual reason for using the curse(finding his son) was nice. I got to see more Bae which I liked. Backstory and flashbacks were used well. Seeing Emma’s past was great. The addition of characters in this season felt organic and just fit really well. And Mulan is a queen, i love her so much. Emma being in the enchanted forest. Great set up for the next season and Neverland. I love Belle so seeing more of her was great. I also enjoy the development Hook has from his introduction til the end of this season and his willing to give up revenge to save Henry/help Emma. As much as I hate Neal, I think his addition to this season was necessary to Emma’s storyline as well as Rumple’s and even Hook’s to a degree. So even though he sucks, his character was able to show us different sides and dynamics of other characters that I thought was important. Even though I wish certain things involving him were handled in better ways.

Season 3: This is my favourite season. Both 3A and 3B are amazing. Neverland is great, Everyone trying to work together to save Henry is great. Sassy Hook and Sassy Regina, amazing. Emma taking charge is great. Hook’s belief in Emma. More of Hook’s backstory. That fucking kiss. Hook’s secret. Emma using her magic. Meeting Tink. “I hoping you were dead” Peter Pan was a cool villain. Regina and Rumple’s evil shit not meshing with the Charmings. Hook saving David. Neverland was kind of my life. I’m gonna say it is around the time that I start to have some issues with Snow. I also didnt love that both David and Snow were pushing Emma towards Neal but, I believe they likely didnt know the whole story. Rumple killing himself to kill Pan was fucking epic. Pan being in Henry’s body was a boss twist. Emma and Hook’s goodbye. Mulan being into women, yay!! Her heart being broken boo!!! Belle and Ariel teaming up was chill, I think this season had Belle’s hero flashback and that was great, but I honestly don’t remember when that happened. 3B was amazing. Hook believing Emma was his true love, him going to find her. Zelena was a good villain. Also the Cora flashback was fucking crazy. Neal was an idiot in this season but, whatever. Hook and Henry bonding. Hook’s regret for what he did to Belle and Ariel. Regina and Tink flashback was into it. Outlaw Queen loved. Liked that David and Snow had another baby, didnt like the name. Regina suddenly getting light magic was weird and not totally into. Loved Zelena/Regina showdowns though. The finale was the greatest thing ever. Like everything about it was great. “Someday I’ll stop chasing this woman” “I’d go to the end of the world for her, or time” “We both know i’m his type” Past!hook scene. When they kidnap Marion. When Emma deprived Hook of his dashing rescue. The ball!!! Watching Emma watch her parents meet. David and Hook’s talk. “You traded your ship for me?” “Aye” That fucking kiss!!! Rumple and Belle’s vows were amazing even though there wedding upset me. Like I was really pissed cause this mofo was lying to her again. Regina not getting to be happy w/ Robin sucked but, her bitching to Emma about it was trash. And i forget about how adorable Roland is.

Season 4: I like 4A like alot actually. I know a lot of people aren’t a fan of the frozen arc, but I like it. I love Elsa in this. She has a really great friendship with Emma and I like that their friendship isn't over complicated with connections to her family. Elsa also helps Emma accept her magic which I love and she understands that part of Emma in way no one else does. I kind of wish Elsa could have been on longer so Emma could continue to have her own friendships. I enjoy Emma trying to learn how to control her magic. I dont love Ingrid as a villain but I like her backstory well enough and I like how her involvement gives us a look into Emma’s past/childhood. Killian and Emma trying to have a relationship after the whole epic kiss thing is nice. There date is amazeballs. They are like really in love and become committed to making it work through this season and I love that. I’m not a huge fan of Snow through either half of this season, I felt like she was the person who saw the worst in Emma both presently and in the past. I find it really telling that in 4B we see that she is the one to see the vision of evil!Emma. I think this is the season I stop liking Regina cause her angst is kind of dumb and she’s very pity me about it. I love Belle at the end of 4A when she sends Rumple away, I think it is a very empowering moment where she stands up for herself and is able to stand up to her abuser. I like how 4A has a nice intro to Lily through the things we’ve seen of Emma’s past. 4B I liked significantly less then 4A. The season really putting Snowing in a bad light particularly Snow and I believe it definitely highlights the fact that David’s relationship with Emma is closer and healthier then the one Snow has with Emma. The fact that they gave Emma potential for darkness to another kid is super fucked up. I actually find this whole concept kind of dumb, like I don’t think it was a good storyline, it just dumb. Killian trying to make amends with Belle and succeeding til the point that they are friends is great. Rumple scheming to get Belle back is awful. I find Operation Mongoose pretty awful like I feel that Regina blaming the universe for her not getting a happy ending with Robin is dumb. I think that this idea that a villain can’t get a happy ending might be true when you are still a villain but it isn’t true if you are a reformed villain case in point being Killian his relationship with Emma is great this season and he is an actually villain who has and continued to have a really good redemption arc. So the fact that Regina isnt getting a happy ending and her line of thought is along the lines of the actual villains of this season proves she hasnt had a real redemption arc no matter what the characters in universe seem to believe. I do like Maleficent and Regina friendship. Cruella being a villain with no tragic backstory was refreshing. The introduction of the author was cool. Zelena pretending to be Marion was so fucked up and the fact that she got pregnant means that Robin was sexually assaulted(he consented to sleeping with Marion, not Zelena). I liked Lily being involved but I hate that she was never mentioned again. Henry become the author was pretty great. I really liked how the apprentice was all over this season leading to Merlin's involvement next season. Emma sacrifice herself was an intense moment.

Season 5A: I didnt like this season, I believe it was an okay idea but executed poorly. I loved Merlin and liked Camelot and evil!King Arthur was interesting. Violet and Henry were cute and I loved seeing Henry’s first relationship. Emma and Hook’s thoughts on a future together were nice. Getting to see Mulan and Ruby again was great. I thought Merida came out of nowhere and i didn’t think she had a reason to be there so, I didn't love her. Belle giving Rumple another chance upset me. Emma made grave errors in judgement but she did do everything for love, so I felt conflicted. Dark hook was sort of entertaining. Emma killing Killian was heartbreaking.Her threatening Gold was badass. Gold lying to Belle again was fucking annoying. Emma going to the underworld to save her mans was great.

Season 5B: I have issues with this Arc on many levels. One being I like greek mythology and because of that I hate when Hades is portrayed as like super evil when he’s really not, he’s stern and stubborn but not evil. He tends not to actually torture people there are other people in the underworld to do that and that only really happens in Tartarus where only the worst of the worst go and though he implements punishments he tends not to be the one who created them, that tends to be the gods that the people in Tartarus actually messed with. So they vastly misrepresented him and I was not a fan of that. And as cute as Zelena and Hades might have been Hades is married and is the only god who doesnt really cheat on his wife so I’m not overtly a fan of that. If we discard everything that is wrong about Hades and the underworld there are other issues I have with this season. Regina is just pretty awful in this season. She tries to force Robin to forgive Zelena as well as let her see his kid when this woman raped him. She also treats Emma like crap like she’s a super hypocrite, the way Regina treats Emma when Hook dies and the way she expects Emma to treat her after Robin dies is ridiculous. Robin’s death is also fucking awful. And Regina blaming Zelena pisses me off but whatever. I thought Liam was kind of dick. And Rumple was even more garbage then I expected. I loved getting to see Milah and I found the flashbacks really good. I enjoy that even with Rumple trying to cause Milah and Emma to hate each other they didn’t. I’m really pissed that Rumple made it impossible for Milah to move on. I wish there was more Milah. Seeing James was fun, like it was hilarious. Cruella and James as a couple was pretty great. Emma and Killian being confirmed true love was amazing. OTP of the gods!!! Emma’s family was very supportive of her. Ruby and Mulan being in an episode was nice and I liked that we had a true love kiss between two women but I would have loved for the first LGBTQ couple on the show to have Mulan be apart of it because I want her to have love so bad. Also I’d rather it be two characters I care about then One character I care about ,Ruby and a character that we barely know, Dorothy. Henry trying to destroy magic was dumb, I understand why he tried, it was just misguided though. He also needs to stop hero worshipping Neal. King Arthur running the underworld is boss. I don’t remember much from the finale other then the destroy magic thing and i know that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was introduced.

Season 6: Wasnt great. I liked Emma and Hook moving in together and the wedding. The musical episode was good. Belle choosing to leave Rumple and having the support of her friends specifically Killian was very moving and empowering. It felt like she was finally done with Rumple which was great and why her getting back with Rumple at the end of the season was so heartbreaking for me. Hyde actually being the good one was cool. Regina using the serum was awful and stupid and I hated it, it was just her trying to take the easy way out of redemption. The wish universe was awful and truthfully nothing in it actually made sense like the timeline has to have totally change for Emma to have met Neal in a universe where the curse didn't occur. Wish!Robin ending up with the Evil half of Regina was ironic and hilarious. The flashbacks were used a lot to add unnecessary drama particular the Hook ones. I found the black fairy to be a let down in terms of villains, especially after basically having the evil queen as the villain. She was also basically Rumple and Regina as one villain but with a lot less character depth to make me care in anyway. Rumple being a saviour was awful and didn't make sense. Belle not getting to raise Gideon sucked. Gideon over all was annoying and I think the writers wanted me to sympathize with him and I just didn't. All the added characters happened way too fast and there was just a bunch of characters that were forgotten.

[johnnythirteenguns]

just seen justice league (this isnt spoiler free at all)

also went to thor: ragnarok for the third time to wash the taste out.

so i went to go see it for miller, momoa, and mera in that order. i was super impressed with mera. i thought they were gonna go the like easy way and give her an Accent like the amazons, but they didnt. even though her cadence was different like idk man i know very little about dc but i picked up a one-shot earlier this year where mera neatly beats the fuck out of the justice league on her own and she’s a semi-jerk who kind of hates surface dwellers and you know what for the thirty seconds we had her onscreen i believed it and she was powerful and felt like a character with backstory and i COMPLETELY didnt hear what aquaman was saying i just heard her side of the conversation

man ben affleck really doesnt wanna be here huh anyway we should recast him at the earliest convenience

also why was batman 90% CGI like fine i get it no one can be a gymnast in a 50 lb rubber suit but like every single one of his moves that required any bending had to have been cgi

speaking of which the cgi isnt like bad in and of itself it’s just typical like it’s the cgi youre used to seeing. it doesnt blend seamlessly into anything and the characters dont blend seamlessly into it. the cornfield looks fake as can fucking be and i dont really know why? what else there was another fucking weird cgi moment. anyway, steppenwolf is ugly as sin and has no emotion and is all one color and is??? generally weird looking

speaking of which. he is not frightening at all. the New Gods isnt something casual dc fans are gonna be familiar with (i am barely familiar with it) and like? apparently, darkseid was supposed to have scenes in this but didnt? anyway go see thor ragnarok which features 1) a horned villain that is legitimately terrifying and powerful, that you fully believe can do the things she does, and who is beautifully designed and 2) features glow-y eyed masses of disposable soldiers that are cool but goofy and dont take themselves too seriously but were still frightening and made for thrilling fights because you believed they could actually pose a threat to the characters they were attacking

the beginning... uh i think like three scenes of the film looked pretty good, but they looked like cutscenes. very GOOD cutscenes, but honestly... if i wanted it to look like this id have played... a video game. like, i want it to look like a real place even if it’s heavily stylized. uh but the first showdown where batman is luring a parademon out looks beautiful if fake as shit. the scene with wondy in the bank (which features a group of girls from an all-girls school... at a bank?) and terrorists wearing cheap pinstripe suits (like, this is fine! it’s nonsensical and stupid but fine it’s a comic book movie) was kind of cool because for once i felt like... maybe diana was a creative person who goes in wit ha strategy? like picking the dude up with the lasso and holding him up was fun i was like oh!!! thats not something a typical movie would do! it was the first time she felt like Wonder Woman to me (ive seen the wondy movie itself, it was... eh). uh and idk what was up with the standing on the scales of justice or whatever idk the hilarity of gal gadot on that statue which sits on top of a bank like. it was funny.

hey question what the uh... fuck was the “what are you” “a believer” line about it made zero sense in context at all

dont quote me on the order of scenes i dont remember fuck all of this movie in order because literally, the pacing was so weird. so... it was very obvious there were parts missing from the movie. not like, cuts made where you could be like oh there was something there or maybe there'll be a deleted scene no like you Knew there was stuff that was necessary that was gone. the football scenes with victor from the trailers were gone!!! i think the movie was trying to set up a really strong friendship with wonder woman and cyborg but it never really went anywhere? and i suspect because it all got cut! and i dont understand why because ray did a really good job and he sold cyborg to me so well i loved his take! 

also... i dont know if theyre saving it for the aquaman movie next year but did Arthur get a bunch of his stuff cut too? because i like jason momoa, and i like his arthur and so im sort of torn because, like, he didnt have much to do. like, he has the bit where he sits on wonder woman’s lasso of thruth and tells them all this stuff but you dont know enough about him for any of it to land? but i really wanted to know more (at some point i did give up on, this was a very passive viewing experience). my friend was saying that like literally why did they try to make arthur so Cool he’s already jason momoa he is by default cool now you can do whatever you want with him we’re all going to love him.

speaking of the lasso scene... was the entire last half of the movie re-writen and re-shot by whedon because like? the lasso scene is a whedon. the bit at the end where wondy goes “children. i work with children” is a whedon (THERE’S NO REASON FOR HER TO SAY THIS? I THINK THIS WHEN SHE HAS TWO TEAM MEMBERS LIKE LAYING ON THE GROUND AFTER NEARLY BEING BLON UP? IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD). i genuinely cant tell if all of barry’s dialogue was written by whedon or if that was ezra improvising but uh... man he’s... he needs to practice if that’s hm. if it’s just whedon i mean fine but he also doesnt have the shitty RDJ quality thats let’s him say those lines with believability.

speaking of which, going to see barry was my priority because apparently im gay for miller rn so like. uh. man he wasnt funny like there were a couple parts where he was cute and the line landed and it was fine but generally he just... wasnt funny? because the movie wasnt funny? like... idk man ezra really acting his heart out and ive said like cool i wanna follow his career and see if he does good stuff and gets even better at his stupid art but maybe he peaked with credence barebone i dont know. the first scene where we meet barry, with the flash pad and the pizza, that was good, that was funny. the bit at the prison was good. he has very soft eyes and thats nice. the panic attack is cute in the clip and the beginning like rhrgrh moment he has is good but then idk the pacing falls apart again

why is his character like this? i just dont think ezra’s... funny enough yet. (tbh i think he takes it too seriously even if he’s trying to be light-hearted man sometimes jokes is just jokes). there’s a bit where theyre digging up superman’s body and it’s JUST HIM AND CYBORG FOR UH? SOME REASON? maybe they explained why they sent the two babies but i didnt hear it and it’s literally just them two. and he tries to fistbump victor but vic is like “no” and tbh barry is annoying? like maybe u think he’s cute and an audience member but he’s uh... you can tell he’s annoying in the story and anyway then the flash says “right, racially charged” ABOUT A FISTBUMP? WHICH? LITERALLY MADE NO SENSE? WAS THIS LINE IMPROVISED? WAS IT WRITTEN? IM GONNA PUT MONEY ON IMPROVISED BECAUSE HE IS EXACTLY THAT KIND OF STUPID BITCH

if they were breaking into the lab why even bother going through the front door? barry drives the thing in (theyre trying to smuggle superman’s body into star labs) disguised a soldier (the literally most unconvincing thing, not to me as an audience member, because it was cute and funny to me,, but that a guy with THAT FACE is military like yeah sure, why did that guard believe him) but then they get to like the normal ass parking inside and the other three are standing there in full costume in full grey DC-brand daylight? are you telling me between 5/6ths of the justice league they couldnt sneak in a fucking pine box when wonder woman can lift a fucking tank on her own? like.

speaking of which uh.... superman is stupidly overpowered. like i said i read an issue of JL where mera hands every one of the justice league members their own gently roasted ass in hand on her fucking own. diana regularly kicks superman in the head. why was she not able to take him down? when theyre fighting steppenwolf for real it’s not until superman shows up that they even have a real fighting chance. they dont fight as team, they dont even fight as people casually unified in a common cause. theyre playing high-stakes legos and cyborg gets pulled away from them like three times?? and it gets fucking annoying? and then supes shows up and literally wipes the floor with him. it is so completely bizarre and stupid.

here’s a problem i still have with wonder woman: why is she so thin? the other amazons (except Hippolyta and maybe one other one) look built as FUCK? LIKE THESE WOMEN COULD EASILY TOSS ME ACROSS THE ROOM. wonder woman has serious fucking arms, where are they

also those amazon bikinis were bad. the whole styling of this movie is bad, but especially the amazons. everything is red and gold, for some reasons? the outfits dont looks heavy like armor, they look heavy like bullshit material. there is no reason for the fucking bikinis. the gold cloak hippolyta wears is??? heavy and looks like? like drapes like window dressing like thats the weight of it. additionally, there is no reason for their hair to be SO STYLED. it’s really like prom night hair it’s like shiny and muss free and always loose and in perfect clearly salon-styled curls. also, why are they so heavily made up? it’s really prominent. wondy herself has the same issue going on, she looks much more heavily made up (why is everyone’s blush so PINK, like it's distracting, is this a side effect of the recoloring process) and her hair isnt loose and doing its thing like in BVS or Wonder Woman it’s like... idk she looks really. Pretty when she’s on the field and it makes no sense.

the amazon fighting style is still ugly and makes no sense ive never seen such a wasteful fighting style it made sense exactly once during Wonder Woman

why is themyscira entirely the ugliest cgi i have ever fucking scene

why does the camera INSIST ON MOVING LIKE THAT. the action is super hard to track, the cgi is ugly as fuck (it really cannot be overstated)... i made it to about... i want to say when theyre on the way to the big fight and then the combined everything gave me a heaache that o had for the rest of the movie

i mentioned earlier that the pacing is weird the transitions are also weird. you get cuts to and from places that never fade into each other, it’s always a hard jump cut but it’s never the right cut to make? like, in thor ragnarok for example, there are a bunch of scene changes that happen via the bifrost, via people going through doors. there are wide shots that jump to wide shots in other places, so youre not suddenly on a close-up. there are a lot of people emerging from something into view, and there are a lof of people being alone in the center of the frame. it’s a very smooth and easy to watch movie. JL is the opposite of this in every way. I SUSPECT. AGAIN. THAT WHILE THIS WOULDNT HAVE BEEN FIXED ENTIRELY. THAT THOSE EXTRA TWENTY MINUTES THAT WERE CUT WERE PROBABLY REALLY IMPORTANT

the lois lane bit where she calms supes down just reminded me of the age of ultron and i quoted “sun’s going down” at my friends who were with me and they shit themselves laughing

ma kent calls lois lane “thirsty” in a Hilarious Teen Humor Gag thanks joss whedon you fucking hack

bruce wayne is fucking useless he could have got barry ANY JOB EVER and like... my god whatever.

also i still dont understand how how voice sounds like that when he’s batmanuh the after after credits scene is setting up, according to my friend, a sinister six movie. deathstroke isnt played by manu bennett so it’s fucking usless thanks for coming to my ted talk

[trimaplenut]

Title: The Language of Flowers

Pairing: Naegiri

Words: 2222

Rating: T

Based on this prompt

i dont know shit about police stuff or law dont quote me on any of it

“How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”

Makoto’s mouth hangs open, unable to reply immediately. He’s had troublesome customers and some odd requests before, but he’s never had someone storm into his family’s flower shop, slam twenty bucks on the counter, and ask something with as much barely-contained frustration as this woman has.

He’s also never had someone come into his shop that immediately makes him think please go out with me.

The woman, who looks to be the same age as him—great!—lifts a hand to her head and threads her fingers through her locks. Her hair, long and straight and colored a soft, light lavender, slips through the gaps of her gloved hand, cascading down her shoulders and back. It mesmerizes him as she repeats the action over and over again, and his fingers twitch as he wonders what it would feel like. In contrast to the tinge of annoyance in her voice, her facial expression is a cold, hard wall that betrays none of her thoughts or feelings. But rather than pushing him away, it just makes Makoto more curious—what emotions are hiding behind that iron mask of hers, why keep them secret from the world?

And her eyes—dear lord, the things he could say about them. If her hair was soft and light then her eyes are harsh and bright, a vivid sea of amethysts shining and twinkling in the sunlight from the windows, staring straight at him as if they could see every inch of his soul, slowly filling with… confusion…?

Makoto blinks.

Right, he’s in the shop. She asked him a question. He’s supposed to be doing his job.

How long has he been staring? He’s pretty glad the place is empty right now.

“U-Um,” Makoto stammers as his brain is harshly pulled back to reality. What was the question again? Something about swearing with flowers. His eyes dart around the shop’s shelves and survey the different species of plants they have on display. “There’s not really any one flower that means… that, specifically…” He’s sure he can think of something for her, though. He skirts around the edge of the counter—

Ouch, his hip! Gah, that table edge is a lot sharper than he thought!

Suck it up, don’t embarrass yourself in front of her!

He bites the inside of his lip to keep the pain out of his expression and scampers about for the different flowers he needs.

After several minutes, he now has numerous pots spread out across the counter, each containing flowers of differing species and a slightly varying color from the others. “But if you had a bouquet of these flowers,” Makoto continues, “I think that would work.”

She doesn’t reply immediately. Instead she inspects each pot of flowers, one by one, before finally turning to the florist standing beside her. “In all honesty, I hadn’t expected you’d be able to fulfill such a request,” she finally admits.

Makoto scratches his cheek. “Aha… I’m a bit of a dork when it comes to flowers.”

He freezes the instant the words leave his mouth. Idiot, why would you admit that to a stranger? A really, really pretty stranger?

“O-Or, well, that’s what my sister says,” he adds on quickly. “Or said. When we were… When we were younger…” His face flushes a little in embarrassment. Great recovery. Absolutely flawless. From now on, his mouth requires permission from his brain before he speaks a single word.

Her lips curve upwards and Makoto’s heart nearly skips a beat. “I’m thankful for it, regardless,” she replies. She tucks some of her hair behind her ear and lets out a sigh. “The previous three flower shops I visited weren’t able to help me.”

The smile drops from her face and it fills Makoto with unexplainable dismay. “W-Well, I’m sure they did the best they could,” he stammers. “I only know a useless thing like flower language because I was bored one night.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say such a skill is useless,” the woman argues, folding her arms across her chest. “You never know when that knowledge could benefit you in life. For a florist like you, if you know the meaning behind flowers and can explain it to your customers, it can add more impact to a bouquet or arrangement.” The small smile returns to her face. “And it certainly isn’t useless to someone who desires a certain meaning over color or appearance, such as myself.”

Makoto stares for a moment and then laughs. “I guess you’re right! Honestly, yours is the first time I’ve taken a request where the meaning isn’t a generic one of love or friendship.” He looks down at the ground to try and hide his flushing face. “I’m pretty lucky to know what I do, otherwise I wouldn’t really know where to start.”

She reaches out with a gloved hand and gently strokes one of the flowers’ petals. “So what do each of these mean?”

“Those are geraniums,” he answers promptly, “which mean stupidity. Foxgloves mean insincerity, meadowsweet is uselessness, yellow carnations mean ‘you have disappointed me’, and orange lilies are for hatred.” Makoto shrugs self-consciously at his knowledge. “It’s a pretty striking bouquet—full of color and loathing.”

He doesn’t think his face has cooled down yet, but he can’t avoid looking at her forever. Not to mention it would be pretty rude of him. He raises his head to see the woman smile with satisfaction. “Perfect. I’ll take it.”

“Can I ask who’s it for?” Makoto says, a minute or so later, as he hands over her purchase in exchange for the money. “It’s… quite a strong message.”

For a few seconds, her expression remains blank and he thinks he isn’t going to get an answer. But then her lips curl into a smirk and she gazes down at the flowers as if picturing something amusing in her head. “Someone who deserves it.”

Makoto lets out a small chuckle. “I’ll remember not to get on your bad side.”

The woman eyes him for a brief second before letting out a noncommittal hum. “Mmm.”

Was that the wrong thing to say? She clammed up all of a sudden but her response doesn’t give him a good idea of where he went wrong. He averts his eyes for a moment before meeting her gaze again. “Have a nice day.” As she reaches the door, Makoto suddenly gains confidence and waves at her. “Please come again!”

She doesn’t reply as she walks out the door. Makoto watches her through the store’s windows until she disappears from sight. He relaxes his weight onto his elbows and lets out a happy sigh. A dorky smile stretches across his face.

He really hopes she comes again.

“I would think that a detective like you would exhibit more attentiveness, especially after I made the effort to come all this way to this peasant hole.”

Kyoko bites the inside of her cheek, takes a deep but quiet breath in through her nose, and then breathes out. “I would think it’d be clear to you that—”

I have better things to do than satisfy your infuriatingly massive, attention-demanding ego.

“—I currently have a lot of paperwork that needs to be completed, and I would like to get home sometime before next Sunday,” she instead finishes. She just needs to keep up an act of civility. It’ll be worth it in the end.

“Do you think that excuses the delay? You are wasting my time. Unless those papers are related to the retrieval of my property, your prioritizing leaves much to be desired.”

But boy, does he make it difficult.

He being Byakuya Togami, one of the witnesses in her recently closed murder case. Originally, he was only involved as the employer of one of their suspects. Then it turned out that their original crime scene was a setup and the true scene of the murder was in an office building owned by Byakuya, committed by said employee. She managed to speak with him a maximum of three times during the case, and each time wondered what she was doing back in the same room as the insufferable smug bastard.

If she had her way around here, somebody else would’ve already given him back access to the office and she’d never have to see him again, but since he’s the heir to the Togami Conglomerate, one of the biggest and most influential businesses in the area, her boss had made it clear to Kyoko and her coworkers that he would be treated with the utmost respect—lest the police department suddenly find themselves short several thousand dollars of funding.

And that means leaving him in the company of the most competent detective in the precinct. Who is still immensely busy and no longer has the patience to deal with him.

And despite it, she still turns to him with a calm expression. “I’ve already organized to have the appropriate documents processed. I’m afraid all there is to do now is wait.”

Byakuya’s demeanor hardly improves, but he does recognize that continuing to belittle her won’t speed anything up, so he clicks his tongue and glares at a spot on the wall. An unfortunate officer walks in his line of sight and receives the full force of his fury. The officer stumbles for a moment, looks around to try and determine why she’s getting glared at, and then nervously walks away in a hurry.

Kyoko glances up, catching sight of the interaction as she reaches for her mug of coffee, before turning her attention to her drink. She takes several gulps of the hot beverage before returning to the paperwork.

“What sort of punishment will that plebeian scum receive?”

Or trying to return to the paperwork. Kyoko doesn’t look up as she replies, “It’s out of my hands as to what sentence they’ll give him. But he’s been charged with second-degree murder—I imagine he’s getting life with no parole for at least ten years.”

Byakuya’s lips twist into a sneer. “Let it be a lesson to him, and to anyone else who dares think of sullying the Togami name in such a manner.”

She can tell that most of the detectives within earshot are irked by his comment, questioning how he can put his family’s reputation over the fact someone was murdered. Kyoko’s personal opinion is slightly different—that the fact the truth was reached was more important than some flimsy sense of justice or status—but that’s neither here nor there. Not when the conversation topic offers her an opening.

“But, speaking of the case…” Kyoko reaches under her desk and pulls out a bouquet of flowers she’d purchased earlier. “Here.”

Byakuya raises an eyebrow. “What are those?”

Oh, the urge to respond with the obvious smartass answer is strong, but she can restrain herself on this one occasion, all things considered. “They’re as thanks. Your assistance was quite helpful, perhaps even vital to solving the case.”

He was helpful in that it saved her waiting for a court order to investigate his office building, but she would’ve gotten her way regardless of his level of cooperation.

They’re both distracted momentarily when another detective approaches Kyoko’s desk—he’s somewhat new but she can’t say she remembers his name immediately. He angles the folder in his hands towards her and says, “I’ve got the papers for Mr Togami, Detective Kirigi—”

Before he can even finish, Byakuya stands up from his chair and snatches the folder out of his hands. And then, just when she thinks she spent twenty dollars on a failed opportunity, the bouquet disappears from her grasp.

Case officially closed.

Kyoko turns to the detective and inclines her head. “Thank you for the papers, Detective.” The man flushes a little from the praise and tilts his hat down to hide his face. She turns her head as he leaves and focuses on Byakuya as he heads for the elevator. Only when the elevator doors obscure him from view does Kyoko’s expression transform into something smugger.

One of her coworkers, Yui Samidare, levels her with a look of confusion. “Kyoko, did you just give the asshole flowers?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” she asks incredulously.

Kyoko smirks. “To let him know exactly how I feel about his attitude.”

She returns to her work as Yui starts yammering and blurting out whatever comes to mind—first of which is an accusation of attraction towards Byakuya, which thankfully doesn’t take long at all for Yui to change her mind about. Then she just demands to know exactly what Kyoko was up to with the flower gift—because if anyone has an ulterior motive to everything they do, it’s Kyoko Kirigiri.

Said schemer completely ignores what her fellow detective is saying. Her pen flies across the paper in front of her, but in all honesty, she’s not focusing on that either. Kyoko’s thoughts are solely occupied by the florist she met.

She wouldn’t have been able to carry through with her plan of subtle revenge had it not been for him. She’ll have to thank him for his assistance. Kyoko’s eyes wander across her desk until they rest on her mug. Perhaps she could ask him out for coffee one day. He was pretty cute, too.

[seeking-sunshine-sea-happiness]

11 ways to be a slightly better human

We are in a time where we all need a list. 7 reasons why your zodiac sign is the worst, 20 reasons why you suck at life, 13 ways to declutter your mess of a brain etc. We need these lists to have something to relate to, something to validate we aren't alone in this gigantic massive negative crumbling world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. We all need answers to these problems we have within us. These problems we feel we need to protect, so we bottle them up and never share them. WHY? Because God forbid we share our worries or we might be judged or even worse (GASP) embarrassed that we are a disgusting human, walking around with our gross stinky feelings/emotions/thoughts. EW  But really I need these lists too, because you see even as a nearing 30 year old (I know I am nearing grandmahood, grow up.) I still don't always have my crap together. In fact I don't know if I ever will and yeah thats certainly the most terriiying but also completely liberating thing. So here is my list on how to be a better human, how to open up, how to manage your time, how to communicate better, how to admit your'e wrong, and how to procrastinate efficiently. Basically this is my life on how to live each moment as your most authentic, mistake making, human living, open hearted self.

1. BE KIND.

We say it all the time. We share quotes about it. Man even Cinderella is on board with it, and Cinderella is amazing. Like seriously guys, genuinely smile at everyone you see, hold the door (ladies can do it too), acknowledge the homeless (wo)man on the corner even if you can't spare some change. Leave a note for a friend/coworker to brighten their day. Call your grandparents if you still can. Change someone's day with a simple act of just treating every single person how you want to treated. Not only does it require the smallest amount of effort, you might actually find that negative closed off armour melt away a little bit.  

2. WORK HARD  

Let's face it. NO one is going to do the work for us as much as we'd love that. Getting somewhere in life requires ultimate effort. Not just the bare minimum, but above and beyond, blood, sweat, and tears kind of effort. Believe me, its exhausting. But the pay off is worth it. If you're like me in the freelance/artist world, finding work can be a full time job. But when you get to work for yourself, all of that hard work is the ultimate reward, even if it doesn't always feel like it.  Just put in some elbow grease and dont stop.

3. PRACTICE PATIENCE.  

Success, love, finding yourself, money, etc. What do all of those things have in common? They require time to acquire and grow.  We work hard and search endlessly to figure out how we can get these things but we never take the time to allow everything to play out how they should. Put in the effort in life necessary to grow our assets and let it all just happen. Stop for a moment each day and breathe. Reflect. Meditate. Slow down just a little bit and enjoy each moment for what its worth, instead of rushing to get to the finish line.  Unless you have a deadline, then do that fast.

4. LET IT GO

There I said it. Let it go. LET IT GO. What exactly is the "IT"?  It doesn't matter. Its the past. It is unchangeable. It is absolutely most certainly not going to define you unless you let it. You had a horrific breakup. You lost all your money gambling on a boat. You cheated on your spouse. You hurt someone's feelings. You didn't get the 1,000 auditions you went to. Your credit sucks. You failed the spelling bee? All these things are things we don't want to experience or shouldn't have done. But guess what? They happened and Y O U have the ability to pick yourself up, move on, and make the changes to get out of that funk. Do it. You'll feel amazing.

5. COMMUNICATION IS KING

Use your words. Sing them. Scream them. Write them down. But most importantly, get those words out in to the world. We all spend so much time complaining on the internet, or to our friends/family/whoever will listen about the most trivial stuff. Instead we should be talking to the people it pertains to. You don't like something your husband did? You were unfairly treated at work? You feel you're being taken advantage of? You didn't get paid what you were promised? Say something. If you do nothing. If you say nothing. Nothing will ever ever ever ever change. Communucating with one another can seriously change the world.

6. SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES (with no expectations of return)

Many many moons ago when I first started modeling, I didn't have any one to guide me. I didn't have a single person to tell me if something was a scam, or that I shouldn't pay for this or that, don't cut your hair, learn how to dress, what is in a model bag? The internet wasn't really a tool at the time. We barely used emails for bookings. Anyways. It's been my vow and I've felt my duty to mentor/guide/pass on the torch to others when I can. Sharing is literally one of the best things we can do for ourselves and others. Not only does it make you feel good to help someone else out, you are also giving someone else a chance to have a great experience.

What do I mean by sharing your successes?

Example: I can't make a particulr modeling job on Sunday (true story) so I reached out to my network of models and passed on the amazing opportunity to someone else.

Moral of the story. Stop being so competitve and afraid that another model (person) might take your client. If you are good at what you do, people will always remember you. They will remember your hard work, your kindness, your ability to share, and eventually maybe just maybe you'll refer enough people they'll start paying you for it? (Hey its happened to me a few times)

7. DROP YOUR EGO (sort of)

Okay. EGO isn't all bad. We all need to believe in ourselves fully. So.....don't drop your ego completely. DO allow yourself to be more open. I believe that many opportunities are missed because we think we are "too good" for something.  We all want to hold ourselves very high, because we think we are better than something. We think because we made this much money doing this job that we should always continue to make that much and never less, or we've worked this job so we can't be seen doing something we consider beneath it. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. Yes. We do need to have standards. We do need to demand that we get paid what we are worth. We do have to make sure we are not being taken advantage of. BUT what I have learned is that you can never judge an opportunity because you never know what it might turn into.

8. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

Nobody is perfect, I repeat, NO LIVING HUMAN IS PERFECT. Although we are all pretty guilty of this on the daily reg. BUT just stop it. We are our worst critics, but it isn't our place to judge others or compare ourselves to others. Look within yourself, if you do not like what you see, change it. But stop tearing yourself down trying to be someone else. Your successes, your path, your journey, your life. That is all you. You will never anyone other than you, so embrace that fully.  Be you and be proud.

9. BE PRESENT

GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONES.  It's rude.  It's boring. I've fallen into the habit of getting so annoyed that people are on the phones ignoring the moment that I've just started being on mine, because I hate talking to thin air.

Nothing on any social media page will ever be as important as the conversation you are having with a real live friend, spouse, family member. I don't care how boring the conversation is, when you refuse to absorb the people in your presence, or the moment, you are refusing the have a normal open friendship/relationship with that person.  So if you are having a nice dinner, leave your phone in your purse/pocket/car. Pay attention. The world is beautiful.  Your phone can't hold you at night.

10. CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS

You are completely responsible for your own happiness.  You need to get your life in order, pave your own way, make your own money, have your own individual successes, learn to cook for yourself, whatever. You need to be your own individual. It should never ever be up to another person to make you happy.

INSTEAD- You should be with a person or people or friends who enhance your existence. Who have their own game going and can run alongside you and share happiness. Right? Happiness is shared. And if that isn't the case, run as far away from the negativity that is bringing you down son!  

*Side note- happiness isn't constant ok? Like get a grip. Its work, just like everything else. So if sometimes you have a day where you aren't super happy, its not the end of the world. Promise. Go pet some puppies, sip a latte or unicorn frapp if you have that fat heart, and sleep on it.

11. TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH

YES! Do something bold, something that you know deep down you want to do.  Something you maybe always dreamed of. If you can look deep inside your soul and say, if I do this I will be with the person of my dreams, I can live in a place I've never lived, I can change my life, I can live a little differently, DO IT. It might be scary. It might be the biggest uncertainity ever. It might not even be anything you ever expected. And it might not even work out. But if you don't do it, you will spend your life wondering what if?

As Eminem once nobaly said:

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?

If you don't take a leap of faith at least once in your life, to do something that might change your life forever, why not take it?  I did.  And I literally woulnd't change it for the world. <3

[notthetoothfairy]

He’s Got You High

For @a-simple-rainbow. ♥♥♥

She wanted something based on this post: Kurt sends an email to his TA while high on pain meds after a wisdom teeth extraction.

read on AO3

Blaine is in the middle of his theatre history class when his phone signals a new email in his inbox. Discreetly hiding the phone from his instructor’s view by keeping his hands behind a stack of textbooks on his desk, he goes to his email folder and checks the sender.

It reads, Kurt Hummel.

He has to bite his tongue to stop the smile forming on his lips. Kurt is a sophomore, only a year behind Blaine, and takes improv and stage combat class with Blaine. He’s also a student in one of Mme Tibideaux’s more advanced voice studio classes that Blaine miraculously got to be the TA for this year.

To say that Kurt is Blaine’s favorite student would be an understatement – in fact, hopelessly crushing on him is probably more accurate.

It’s not like Blaine is planning to do anything about it, at least not while he’s Kurt’s TA. It would be inappropriate, unprofessional, and probably also really awkward, especially if Kurt isn’t interested.

So, he’s not fooling himself into thinking that Kurt’s email will be anything out of the ordinary. Probably a note of absence or questions about the final exam… though, as Blaine notices with a frown, the subject reads “Paper Eggstension”. Autocorrect maybe? There’s no way Kurt’s spelling is that bad, Blaine has read and graded most of his MUS105 papers.

Glancing at the teacher to ensure he’s still unobserved, Blaine opens the email, intrigued and a bit concerned now. He scans the first few lines and – oh, wow.

Everyone at NYADA knows Kurt is full of surprises and he’s certainly made an impression on Blaine more than once but this…? This has Blaine blushing, giggling under his breath, shaking his head fondly and wanting to check up on Kurt all at once.

To: Blaine Anderson

From: Kurt Hummel

Subject: Paper Eggstension

---

Dear Mr. Blaine,

sry, I forgot your last name because Rachel calls you Mr. Dreamboat! And y would I use your last name anyway? You told us to call you Blaine. Thats a nice name. Blaiiiine.

You said other stuff too. Like that we could send you our MUS105 paper before we send it to Mme Tibidibideaux (I wish she let us call her Blaine too) but only if we dont miss the deadline. Now I gotta tell you: No can-do. But I have an excuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you don’t believe. But you should. Cuz Blaine, u see – I got my teeth removed. The smarty ones. The wisdom teat. Anyway. I got them out. It was brutality. So much pain, worse than when I watched you unfairly lose Midmight Madnesssss against that senior douche, whatever the fuck his name is again. You should have won Blaine. You were better. I think Rachel bribe the judge bc she went out with senior douche… what is hid name? Bobby? Barney?

But PLEASE could I get a few more days, could you ask Mme T.…??? I really wanna do well bc… you see, Mme T., she scares the hell out of me. Ha that rhymes, triple! Cuz I’m awesome. Yes, I am. You can just accept that as fact or you can also go out wih me and see how awesome I am for yourself, your choice (but pick the latter!). But anyway please please pls pls pls can I hand it the paper a bit later? I really cant submit something bad -- and Im afraid they pulled out my brain with the teeth!!!!!!!! I can’t write a well paper without a brain!

My doctor says Ill regret writing emails while Im hai (thats German for shark, funny fact) so I’m gonna stop and hope that you will say yes! Please bro? Oh! Brody. Brodouche. Midnight Madman. Destroy him next time! (He broke up with Rach, he deserves it.)

Thank you, Mr. Blaineboat. I really like you.

Kurt xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine reads the email three times before deciding that he should wait until after class to type out a response. In the state he’s in right now, he’ll probably do something stupid and just write back, Yes to all.

He wants to, of course. He’d give Kurt an extension on his paper and say yes to a date with him in a heartbeat but… he knows he’ll have to convince Mme Tibideaux, sort out his personal TA-student dating policy (and maybe ask around if NYADA has an official take on it) and make sure Kurt really meant to type this and didn’t just do so in the spur of the painkiller-induced moment.

The class can’t end fast enough but as soon as it’s over and Blaine finds a quiet corner in the library to think of what to respond, he blanks, drafting several replies but ending up deleting all of them.

“Goddammit,” he mutters to himself. “Just write something.”

In the end, “something” doesn’t really compare to Shakespeare but Blaine figures that at least he won’t risk his job over it, either.

And maybe, just maybe, Kurt will catch the ambiguity in his words.

-

“What are you working on?” Rachel asks when she comes back to the loft, arms full of grocery bags that Kurt hopes are filled with veggies for him to make soup with. He seriously craves eating something that isn’t liquid but mushy veggies drowning in hot water really is the maximum of cheating when it comes to his pained cheeks. He knew it was a bad idea to get both upper wisdom teeth out the same day. But it’s too late to complain. At least he has a best friend who brings him soup.

Kurt sighs at the laptop in front of him.

“My paper for Mme Tibideaux,” he responds. “You know I love Sondheim but interpreting his work while physically injured makes me want to kill him.”

“He’s in his mid-eighties, Kurt,” Rachel tells him. “Let an old man be.”

“Ugh.” Kurt rubs his eyes. “The meds are making me tired, though.”

“Why do you even bother writing the paper when you got an extension from Mr. Dreamboat?”

Kurt frowns at Rachel. “Extension? When would I have gotten that?”

“In your email?” Rachel frowns back. “Come on, don’t tell me you chickened out just because you’re in love with him. He’s still our TA, he could probably do something about that deadline, so-”

“I don’t remember writing an email.” Kurt goes to student email and punches in his username and password. “Or getting one back, for that matter. Like, wouldn’t I rem-” He blinks in surprise, catching Blaine’s name in his inbox – twice, even. How high was he, exactly? “Wait, what did I…?” Clicking on the email, bits and pieces come back to him, and he suddenly grabs the couch cushion next to him, holding onto it for dear life. “Oh my god, no.”

“What?”

“Rachel.” Kurt feels the blood draining from his face. “Oh, Jesus, please tell me I didn’t write that…”

He scrolls through the quoted email below Blaine’s short responses (Dear Kurt, thank you for telling me! And yes, of course! I’ll talk to Mme Tibideaux, and get back to you once I know more. Get well soon! All the best, Blaine, and the more recent Dear Kurt, I got a yes from Mme Tibideaux, you’re getting one more week! Best, Blaine) and cringes when he reads the first line.

“I did. Fuuuuuck. Oh god, now I wish Sondheim could kill me.”

“Again, the guy’s, like, 85…” Rachel says slowly. “And why would you- whoa, is that your email to Blaine?”

Kurt doesn’t answer, instead opting to hide his face in his hands.

“You did not tell him we call him Mr. Dreamboat.”

Kurt whimpers.

“You did not ask him out!” Rachel squeals.

Kurt lets out a miserable whine.

“Oh my god, Kurt, you did not tell him you like him and signed the email with a dozen kissing faces!!!”

“WHAT?!” Kurt’s hands fly back to his laptop. He didn’t re-read that part. “Oh my god! I ju- Rachel, I can never go back to that school. I’m such a failure at life, Jesus Christ.”

“You’re very religious all of a sudden.”

“Don’t just sit there mocking me,” Kurt begs. “Tell me it was all just a bad dream.”

Rachel gives him a look of deep, genuine pity. “I really wish I could but I doubt my eyes can never unsee that email. Also, I know you wrote that while you were high on pain meds but I am a bit upset you never told me you didn’t like Brody. Might have saved me some trouble.”

Kurt rolls his eyes at her. “You honestly believe I never brought it up? What do you think we were we having that flea-market chair argument for? And don’t even pretend like you would have called it off with him just because I said something.” Rachel opens her mouth to speak but Kurt shakes his head violently. “It doesn’t matter, anyway – what am I going to do about this?!”

Rachel shrugs. “Kurt, it’s out there. All you can do now is roll with it.”

“In my grave, you mean?”

“In class. To which we’re going tomorrow since you’re so much better already,” Rachel tells him sternly. “Judging by Mr. Dreamb-”

“We can’t call him that anymore,” Kurt says quickly.

“Fine.” She sighs. “Judging by Blaine’s reply, he’s not bothered by it. Who knows, maybe he’s flattered. Or happy about it. It’s not every day you get an email from a cute guy confessing he’s crushing on you.”

“Yeah, right,” Kurt mumbles into the sleeve of his sweater. “As if I stand a chance with him.”

“No time like the present to find out,” Rachel says with finality. “Now, I’m making you soup, and you’re going to put on some Sondheim so you can work on your paper with some fresh insights and maximum concentration.”

It’s a nice thought – but Kurt doesn’t get anything done that night.

-

Blaine carefully keeps his eyes on his notebook when Rachel and Kurt walk into his class.

He was expecting Kurt to come back today (and no, he did not google how long it takes for people to recover from wisdom teeth extraction – he just asked Sam, who had gotten it done right before moving to New York), and he might have put a little extra effort into looking good today. He never got a response from Kurt, so he figures the guy has either silently acknowledged the paper extension, avoided Blaine for a number of possible reasons or forgotten about the exchange entirely.

Whatever the motivation behind it, Blaine will not despair over it. He’s Kurt’s TA, and as such won’t try anything anyway. NYADA doesn’t seem to have any policy against TAs dating students but nevertheless, he doesn’t want to put either them in an awkward position.

Which doesn’t even take into account the fact that he still doesn’t know whether Kurt remembers asking him out, whether he actually meant it, or whether he intends to ask again.

He might want to wait until Blaine’s no longer his TA as well. That’s alright with Blaine. After all, there’s a month left to this semester, so he can wait. He totally can.

He looks up from his notebook with a smile.

“Hi everyone,” he greets the class. “How are you doing? So, the deadline for your papers is Friday so I hope you’ve all sent me your drafts in case you want me to read them.” He can’t help but let his eyes wander to where Kurt is sitting. “Unless there were any reasons to hand them in late.”

Kurt blinks really quickly at the sudden eye contact, and lets out a nervous laugh.

And Blaine realizes he really totally cannot wait a whole month to get answers to his questions.

Before he can stop himself, he adds, “Everyone with extensions on their papers, please come see me after class.”

Of course, that’s just Kurt, but the class won’t know. Okay, Rachel might know, seeing as she elbows Kurt so hard it almost sends him flying off his seat. Kurt almost doesn’t seem to notice it as he’s busy staring at Blaine with a bit of a twitch in his eye.

Blaine suppresses a groan. This isn’t the plan. What is he doing?

-

“Blaine, I am so sorry!” Kurt exclaims in misery when the rest of the students slip away after class is over.

He’s beyond glad that Blaine didn’t make him sing any of his pieces today because apart from already being nervous whenever Blaine does ask him to do that, today his anxiety probably would have been the final straw. He might have run off or broken out into tears in front of everyone.

Blaine looks at him with a small smile. “You’ve got nothing to apologize.”

“Uh, yes, I do,” Kurt says stubbornly. He’s beyond mortified; the least Blaine can do is let him apologize properly. “I really didn’t mean to-”

“Oh.” Blaine looks down on the pile of sheet music he was stacking. “Yeah, right. Uhm, seriously though, I know how bad pain killers can be, I don’t blame you for-”

“Oh thank god, you know it was the pain meds,” Kurt breathes out in relief. “I was afraid you’d think-”

“No worries,” Blaine cuts him off. “It’s alright if you didn’t mean any of it.”

Kurt hesitates for a second, and gulps as he takes in Blaine’s slightly shaky hand movement as he stuffs the sheet music into his messenger bag.

“If…?” he asks quietly.

“I mean that,” Blaine says, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Sorry, that, of course.”

Kurt’s at a loss. He’s getting mixed signals, and just judging by the last bit of the exchange – if that was the only thing that had happened, his stupid email and the fact that Blaine is his freaking TA forgotten – he might even be encouraged to inquire further.

But he can’t just admit to meaning all of it, right?

He settles for the safer topic. “So you wanted to speak to me about my paper?” he asks.

“Uh, yes.” Blaine smiles, though he still looks distracted. “I just wanted to ask you whether you had any questions about the material since you couldn’t join us for the last two sessions.”

“I…” Kurt shakes his head. “No, I think I’ve got it covered. Rachel caught me up.”

“Alright. Well, if you have any questions, you can send me an email.”

“Or not,” Kurt says quickly. “I think I’m swearing off emails for a while.”

Blaine laughs, the sound warm and pleasant in Kurt’s ear.

“Right,” he says. “I know this is a bit awkward but… it could have been worse. You could have written that to Mme Tibideaux or Miss July.”

Kurt is so relieved that Blaine is able to joke about it that he replies with a mindless, “Yeah, except I wouldn’t have told them I liked them, so…”

Blaine gapes at him, and Kurt realizes a second to late what he’s implying yet again.

“Oh,” Blaine says. “I, uh-”

“I’ve got to go,” Kurt cuts in, ears burning. “Can I go?”

“Uh, uhm, well, yeah, of course,” Blaine stutters.

As Kurt turns around and gathers his stuff, he can hear Blaine mutter something to himself. Kurt’s almost out the door, when Blaine calls out, “Kurt?”

Kurt turns around gingerly. “Yeah?”

“I really didn’t mind.”

“Okay...”

“Like, really really.”

Kurt wants to scream, But what does that mean?! Instead, he takes a deep breath, collects his thoughts, and says, “Okay… see you in improv, I guess?”

Blaine nods quickly. “Yeah. Later, Kurt.”

“Later, Blaine.”

-

Blaine is early to improv class, even though it’s all the way across campus. But he didn’t stop for his usual coffee, grabbed a salad to-go instead of lunch with his friends from his dorm, and also maybe, possibly hurried to get to class because Kurt is usually early to everything.

Blaine is the first to arrive, though, so he grabs his usual seat and gets out his salad. He’s about to slice the egg when he hears Kurt’s voice from outside the classroom.

“Talk to you later, Rachel.”

“Okay. And, Kurt, remember to ask-”

“Bye now!”

As soon as Kurt’s through the door, his eyes land on Blaine and he freezes.

“Uh, hi,” he says. His cheeks are slightly red, probably from the cold weather outside. “You’re – uhm, early.”

“Yeah.” Blaine looks down briefly, willing himself to just go for it this time. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Again?” Kurt bites his lip. “I thought-”

“Kurt, when I said yes in the email, I meant yes to both.”

“Both?” Kurt frowns. “I don’t-”

“Both questions. Or requests, I guess.”

Kurt’s eyes widen. “You mean…”

“Yeah, I mean,” Blaine says with as much conviction as possible. “At first, I didn’t want to say anything because, you know, TA and all, but… seeing you in class, knowing, or well, hoping that you meant it, and… I don’t know, I couldn’t wait those four weeks until the semester is over. So I asked you to stay after class but then that felt super shady, too, so… I don’t even really know what I’m doing right now.”

“Do you know what you’re saying, though?” Kurt asks breathlessly.

“Well…” Blaine can’t suppress a grin. “Unlike some people, I’m not on pain meds right now, so, yeah, I’m pretty sure I have full control over my words.”

Kurt glares at him but it’s mostly façade, especially considering he’s still looking like Christmas came a bit early this year, and Blaine… well, Blaine is floored at the thought of being the one to actually make him look like that.

“Well, apparently those pain meds at least made me confess something neither of us could admit to sober, so…”

“Hey, for the record,” Blaine says, getting up to stand in front of Kurt, “I fully intended to ask you out once the semester was over.”

Kurt’s eyes are locked on Blaine with sheer intensity, and Blaine isn’t proud to admit it makes his knees a bit weak.

“Really?” Kurt asks, clearly intrigued, then sighs. “So my email was completely unnecessary.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Blaine says. “I got so many laughs out of it.”

“Oh god, shut up.”

“No, I mean, it – eggstension?” Blaine chuckles. “Wisdom teat? There were some good ones there.”

“What part of shut up-”

Waiting really isn’t Blaine’s strong suit, he realizes, as he leans in to kiss Kurt, four weeks too early to be completely professional, yet about half a year too late considering how long he’s had his eye on him.

Kurt’s protest is muffled against Blaine’s lips, and dies down completely once they press closer together to get better access. They part for air briefly, and Kurt whispers, “When I got up this morning, I would have sworn this would be the last thing I’d ever say, but I’m pretty proud of myself for writing that email now.”

Blaine licks his bottom lip, chasing the faint taste of Kurt there. “I’m glad you wrote it, too.” This whole thing between them has lasted about a minute but he wants more so badly he feels like he’s physically incapable from drawing Kurt back in and kissing him again.

They keep at it until other students start to trickle into the room, and even then they share meaningful glances and press their ankles together between their chairs.

Between all the talking and kissing, Blaine didn’t get to eat his salad, so about halfway through the lecture, his stomach starts growling.

Kurt turns to him with a grin. “Forgot to eat?”

“I guess I was distracted.”

“Hm, by what, I wonder?” Kurt asks cheekily.

Blaine eyes his untouched salad in amusement. “I guess I got pretty egg-sited over this boy I like.”

It’s totally worth all the frustrated elbowing he gets in response.

[peaceandcows]

Tv show: TEEN WOLF, HAVE FUNN BOOOO

Finally had time to do this thx so much @songmeanhoe! u know me and my fandoms so well :)

Send me a show/fandom and ill answer -  Teen Wolf (my fave trash show)Top 5 favourite characters: 1) Lydia Martin, 2) Stiles Stilinski, 3) Allison Argent, 4) Scott Mccall, 5) Isaac Lahey (Derek is a close 6)Other characters you like: Alot of them. Derek, Kira, Malia (but it took me until s5), Danny (WHERE DID U GO BBY?) The twins, Cora, The parent trio (Melissa, Sheriff, Chris), Mason, Erica, Boyd….i think i should stop now….Least favourite character: UM I HAVE ALOT. but lets just say Gerard, Theo, and Kate cuz i really hate them.Otps: STYDIA STYDIA STYDIA (FOREVER AND EVER MY BBIES). Also scallison (i miss them everyday). I have alot of ships but these 2 are the OTP level.Notps: LMAO MARRISH (EW FUCK THAT NASTY SHIP), Jydia (Jackson was not a good bf to Lydia and that is that), Stalia (though i do enjoy them as a brotp)Favourite friendship: OBVI SCILES. Just the pack in general gives me so much feels. OH OH allydia was beautiful and i miss them sm. Also i am enjoying lydia and malia’s friendship this season. very much appreciated.Favourite family: the mccall pack is a family tbh. But also the stilinski family. Stiles and his dad are SO IMPORTANT AND THEIR STORY KILLS ME!!!Favourite episode: Ummmm this is so hard. I love 3x06 (motel california, but that’s almost everyone’s fave ep), 5x16 (MY FAVE STYDIA EP TBH), and 6x05 (wonderful just wonderful, makes me cry). its legit a three way tie.Favourite season/book/movie: Season 3. Specifically season 3a. Everyone picks 3b but their are some things that trigger me in that season…(stiles stabbing scott when he went all void, allison’s death, stalia banging in a dingy basement…just alot of weird shit)Favourite quote: “Not all monsters do monstrous things”….”Be your own anchor”….”I look for my friends”…”We always seem to find eachother anyway” and some others that i cant remember rnMoment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: stydia’s first kiss, when scott said “because I love you” to allison and in the s1 finale she said it back to him.When it really disappointed you: Lmao seasons 4 and 5 dissapointed me alot. Specifically the way they treated kira in s5, never mentioning allison unti it was ‘necessary for the plot’. TAKING WAYYYY TOO LONG FOR STYDIA TO BE CANON (and putting unnecessary relationships in the way like stalia). believing it was totally okay for a deputy to be having sex dreams of a female high school student. ew. amongst other things….oh and this wasnt in s4 or s5 but stiles losing his virginity to a girl he barely knew in the basement of some mental institution was the most ooc thing ever with his character like what the fuck was that???Saddest moment: ALLISON’S DEATH. I STILL CRY AND GET TRIGGERED IT WAS JUST SO SAD. also boyd and aiden’s deaths were super sad aswell. UM LETS TALK ABOUT SEASON 6 WHERE EVERYONE HAS FORGOTTEN STILES INCLUDING HIS SOULMATE, BEST FRIEND AND HIS DAD. There are plenty of others….Most well done character death: Allison’ death for sure….I did not see that coming at all. And it has had long lasting affects on the pack and the show in general.Favourite guest star: Ummm idk…has teen wolf had guest stars?? oh oh Posey’s dad guest starring was cute.Favourite cast member: DYLAN O’BRIEN TRASH IS ME. Also, holland roden and tyler posey.Character you wish was still alive: ALLISON ARGENT NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. and i might be super selfish…but claudia stilinski FOR REAL (thx s6).One thing you hope really happens: UH UH KIRA TO COME BACK. THEO TO DIE FOR GOOD, GERARD TO DIE FOR GOOD. THE PACK GOES TO ALLISON’S GRAVE. STYDIA REUNION KISS AND THEM BEING FLUFFY CANON IN 6B. for everyone to graduate lmao. Most shocking twist: ummmmmmm STILES BEING VOID WAS WHAT THE FUCKK. allison dying…idk what else. OH THAT ENGLISH TEACHER BEING THAT DARACK OR WHATEVER ITS CALLED. 

When did you start watching/reading: well back in the 10th grade, so over two years ago thx to @songmeanhoe lolTrope you wish they would stop using: Idk thinking all teen watchers care about is couples making out/having sex. give me intimacy thx very much (aka why i love stydia so much haha)One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Hmmm giving supernatural plot lines that are actually interesting/creative. Making me really really care about these characters (specifically stiles, lydia, scott, and allison). Oh! actually having the parents involved in their kid’s lives and help elevate the plot. they aren’t just there to be there they have a purpose in this supernatural teen drama shit.Funniest moments: LOL that time when scott and stiles went to a gay club in s2. When stiles was FREAKING OUT that he was going to get sacrificed bc he was a virgin in 3a (”someone needs to sex me today, like someone needs to sex me right now!”), anything coach says. idk teen wolf makes me laugh alot before everything got wayyy too dark like woahhCouple you would like to see: CANON STYDIA. THEY ARE IN LOVE SO GET STILES BACK AND BE CANON ALREADY. i’ve always said this…sheriff and melissa (tho that is wishful thinking at this point)Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Ummmmm idk tbh. like any young female actress would be great thanks.Most boring plotline: lol season 4 was SO BORING LIKE WHAT WAS THAT. Just all of s4 was a mess.Best flashback/flashfoward if any: OMG OMG WHEN THEY HAD THAT BIG FLASHBACK OF ALLISON IN THE S5 FINALE FROM SCOTT’S MEMORIES IT ACTUALLY STILL FUCKS ME UP THAT WAS WONDERFUL AND UGHHHH. I dont think tw has done flashforwards…that i rememberMost layered character: I think Lydia or Stiles tbh. i wish it was scott cuz he’s the PROTAGONIST but whatever fuck u writers 

Scariest moment: void stiles was scary AF. well done dylan lmao. not alot of things scare me on this show tbh. OH LETS TALK ABOUT LYDIA TAKING FOREVER TO OPEN HER EYES AND I THOUGH MY QUEEN WAS GONNA DIE WHILE STILES HELD HER FACE IN HIS HANDS THANKS TW.Grossest moment: alot of things are gross on this show. Anything having to do with that black blood or the cut open brains (u know what im talking about @songmeanhoe). Also gerard is a gross human being so whenever he is on screen hahaBest looking male: i love stiles but tbh derek has always been hot as fuckBest looking female:  all THE FEMALES R BEAUTIFUL. but i think lydia or allison are tied first idkkkkWho you’re crushing on (if any): STILES STILINSKI OBVI, also isaac lahey and scott mccallMost beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): hmmmmm ok ok the scenes with that HUGE WHITE ROOM that they had in s3 was shot soooo nicely. idk teen wolf has a SERIOUS LIGHTING PROBLEM. so tbh whenever their happens to be light its good.Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: WHAT IS STILES STILISNKI’S REAL NAME GOD DAMN IT I HAVE TO KNOW. ALSO WHERE HAS EVERYONE GONE? SPECIFICALLY DEREK, ISAAC, DANNY, AND ETHAN LIKE COME BACK MY BBIES.At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: I fell inlove in season 1 at some point. i cant remember exactly when. i think episode 5 was when i got hooked for life!

this was so fun! thanks for asking me @songmeanhoe.

[messagestoyou1]

MP

I checked IG this morning, scrolling thru my followers feed, when I saw your name. EVERY time I see your name I stop to see what you’ve liked. Looking at the quotes or the girls, always being nosey, always lurking. I don’t know why I was always so intrigued, because deep down I knew it was bound to happen. I saw a pic you liked today, it was a girl and a guy. The girl was dressed up and she looked so happy. And the guy, well the guy was you. My heart instantly jumped into my throat. I froze, I was emerged in so many emotions; anger, sadness, jealousy, envy, disappointment, etc. I wanted so badly to cry, and to punch something and to go to you and scream at you but I couldn’t do any of it. I was frozen, and to be honest I dont think i had any tears left for you.

Her caption was a MCM caption, saying how happy you made her feel all the time. I stared at that picture and the caption for minutes, which felt like forever. I had so many questions… but the question I wanted to ask you the most, was “Why her?”. Why were you giving her everything I wanted from you? Why not me? You both were so well dressed, like you attended a wedding or a special event together. I was so envious. I don’t know anything about this girl, or what you two have going on, but that picture spoke a thousand words to me. As long as I’ve known you, I wished for a picture like that.

I can remember when I first started talking to you and how you were my safety. I wasn’t super interested in you but I was still trying to get over my ex and you were  so nice and you were there, so I figured lets give him a shot. The first night we hung out you were awesome. Had me laughing all night and the conversation never dulled. It was exactly what I needed. We talked everyday after that, from morning to night. You weren’t the only guy I was talking to but you were the most important.

We went on talking and hanging out for a while. You came to the movies with my siblings and I which was so fun. But you slowly started to fade from me. Hanging out to hook up was never a problem, but god forbid I ask you to go out with me and my friends or do anything else, you were always “busy”. I came to a realization that I was so sick of talking to boys and having almost relationships… Spending all this time together but not having commitment. I was over it. So I cut all these guys off.. and I sent you the text pouring my heart out, asking you to give me your all or go. And you did what I feared the most. You left. Although I was so upset, I was happy how we left it. You were so kind about it, explaining to me that I deserved the world but you weren’t it because you were still getting over heart break yourself. And although I thought that was a pussy answer, I respected the shit out of it. So there we went, on our own separate ways.

At first it was hard for me, going from talking everyday to not talking at all but it was for the best. A few weeks passed and things were going great. I was advancing in my goal to be a cop and I was focused all on myself. That is until you texted me hoping all was well. I hated that text. I didn’t even want to reply, but deep down I was excited because I missed you, so of course I replied. We talked and expressed how we missed each other so we went back to hanging out. This time the plan was strictly dickly. We realized we weren’t at the right time to date, but theres never a wrong time to bone… right?

But that idea quickly came to a close. I was a fool for thinking we could hangout again, and I wouldn’t catch feelings because my god they came rushing back. We didn’t just fuck, we had passionate sex and then we would lay in bed for hours in the middle of the night and talk and laugh and fool around. I was so happy those nights. We shared stories and made fun of each other and wrestled and I loved every second of it. We’d snuggle all night while we slept and your arms were my favorite place to be. I was so infatuated with you. But I never told you because I never wanted to cross that line again. There was this one night, that I remember so well. I came over late, and you met me in the kitchen, and we made out and began having unreal sex all over your house. By the time we got to your desk I started to not feel so good. We moved over to the wall and as I went to stand up I got so light headed. You noticed something wasn’t right so you asked me if I was ok… you rushed me over to the couch and told me to sit down. You got me a drink and sat on the couch next to me and pulled me into your chest and held me tight. You kissed my head and rubbed my arm and played with my hair. You were so caring and thoughtful. I remember how happy that made me, and how much I loved the little things you did for me. I think that was my favorite night with you.

Your life turned to shit quickly after though and you lost your job. You became a person I resented. You were so angry and in such a dark place all the time. My life was going so good, and you only cared about yourself. You were so selfish. That morning you told me that you had more important things to do than listen to me talk was it for me. I was so mad. I got up and left because I was lying in bed with a person I didn’t know anymore, you weren’t the person I fell for. So I sent you that text, telling you never to talk to me again. And all you said was OK. And I laughed.  I knew you were in a rough spot but everytime I tried to be there for you you shut me out. I was over it.

A month went by and I thought I was over you. You were just a memory. I finally landed my cop job and I was so so excited. It was the Nicole show for the first time in a long time and I loved it. I went on FB one day and saw that I had a message request. I looked and it was from you and my heart started beating a mile a minute. The message was a week old and I couldn’t help but smile. It was just your apology for being a dick to me. And once again it was such a respectful message. You didn’t want anything, you just simply told me you were happy for me and that you had gotten a new job and were also in a better place. I just had to message you back. You have always been my weakness. We agreed on meeting up but not for sex. Just for lunch and to catch up, even though you never made me lunch. lol. We talked, and joked, and wrestled in your driveway, and I couldn’t help but stare into your eyes and remember everything that made me like you. All the negative things you had done to me, slowly faded away, I was so infatuated with you all over again. I wanted to go inside and make love to you with every inch of my body, but I refrained and I left with a simple hug and kiss from you. I smiled the whole way home. You were back, and I was so happy to see you doing good.

It wasn’t long before we started sleeping together again. Shocker, right. It was going good, until it wasn’t. Until we started simply seeing each other in the middle of the night. You would text me so late, inviting me over and I would go everytime. I remember so many times on my way to your house I would rehearse this long speech to tell you about how I was going to stick up for myself and not let you treat me like such a booty call but everytime I laid in your bed or looked at your face I couldn’t. Everything just went away when I was in your arms. But things weren’t the same anymore, we started talking less and less. Even when we were together we barely talked. The last night I saw you, was so hard for me. I got there late, and laid in your bed, you were sleeping but quickly woke up. You snuggled up behind me and things escalated quickly. The sex we had wasn’t passionate. It was rough and hateful. I almost hated it. When we finished, you laid back down and pulled me into you. I laid my head on your chest, and you fell asleep. I was looking out your window at the moon, when I thought about us. About how everything had changed. We just boned, but never spoke to each other. Not a single word was exchanged. I reminisced on all the times we would lay in bed post sex and talk for hours, and I just started crying. With my face still pressed against your chest I bawled my eyes out for so long, and you never even knew. We woke up, boned again, I got dressed told you to have fun and we went on our way. I knew at that moment we were done. And even if we were to hang again, shit wasn’t the same anymore. Something in you shut me out, and I don’t know why, or what went wrong but you had no emotion towards me anymore.

You were my weakness, you controlled me. I was always waiting for that day that you’d come to me and tell me you were ready. Ready to give me everything I wanted but it never came. And today, that realization finally hit. When I saw that picture of you and that girl I felt like I was hit by a train. It really is over. Our lovely toxic ride is over, and I don’t know how to feel about it. I should feel relieved but I cant help but be a little sad. You were so much to me and nothing to me so quickly. I guess ill never know your side of the story, or if I romanticized our relationship too much in my head… all I know is you’ve moved on. And you seem happy and I guess that’s all that matters.

 As much as I hate how cowardly you were with me, I hope you treat this new girl right. I hope you give her your all and love every bit of her. I hope you bring her around your family, and out with your friends because she deserves that. She deserves to be a priority in your life. She deserves everything you never gave me.

Best regards,

Nicole

[seeking-sunshine-sea-happiness]

11 Ways To Be A Slightly Better Human 

We are in a time where we all need a list. 7 reasons why your zodiac sign is the worst, 20 reasons why you suck at life, 13 ways to declutter your mess of a brain etc. We need these lists to have something to relate to, something to validate we aren’t alone in this gigantic massive negative crumbling world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. We all need answers to these problems we have within us. These problems we feel we need to protect, so we bottle them up and never share them. WHY? Because God forbid we share our worries or we might be judged or even worse (GASP) embarrassed that we are a disgusting human, walking around with our gross stinky feelings/emotions/thoughts. EW  But really I need these lists too, because you see even as a nearing 30 year old (I know I am nearing grandmahood, grow up.) I still don’t always have my crap together. In fact I don’t know if I ever will and yeah thats certainly the most terriiying but also completely liberating thing. So here is my list on how to be a better human, how to open up, how to manage your time, how to communicate better, how to admit your'e wrong, and how to procrastinate efficiently. Basically this is my life on how to live each moment as your most authentic, mistake making, human living, open hearted self.

1. BE KIND.

We say it all the time. We share quotes about it. Man even Cinderella is on board with it, and Cinderella is amazing. Like seriously guys, genuinely smile at everyone you see, hold the door (ladies can do it too), acknowledge the homeless (wo)man on the corner even if you can’t spare some change. Leave a note for a friend/coworker to brighten their day. Call your grandparents if you still can. Change someone’s day with a simple act of just treating every single person how you want to treated. Not only does it require the smallest amount of effort, you might actually find that negative closed off armour melt away a little bit.  

2. WORK HARD  

Let’s face it. NO one is going to do the work for us as much as we’d love that. Getting somewhere in life requires ultimate effort. Not just the bare minimum, but above and beyond, blood, sweat, and tears kind of effort. Believe me, its exhausting. But the pay off is worth it. If you’re like me in the freelance/artist world, finding work can be a full time job. But when you get to work for yourself, all of that hard work is the ultimate reward, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.  Just put in some elbow grease and dont stop.

3. PRACTICE PATIENCE.  

Success, love, finding yourself, money, etc. What do all of those things have in common? They require time to acquire and grow.  We work hard and search endlessly to figure out how we can get these things but we never take the time to allow everything to play out how they should. Put in the effort in life necessary to grow our assets and let it all just happen. Stop for a moment each day and breathe. Reflect. Meditate. Slow down just a little bit and enjoy each moment for what its worth, instead of rushing to get to the finish line.  Unless you have a deadline, then do that fast.

4. LET IT GO

There I said it. Let it go. LET IT GO. What exactly is the “IT”?  It doesn’t matter. Its the past. It is unchangeable. It is absolutely most certainly not going to define you unless you let it. You had a horrific breakup. You lost all your money gambling on a boat. You cheated on your spouse. You hurt someone’s feelings. You didn’t get the 1,000 auditions you went to. Your credit sucks. You failed the spelling bee? All these things are things we don’t want to experience or shouldn’t have done. But guess what? They happened and Y O U have the ability to pick yourself up, move on, and make the changes to get out of that funk. Do it. You’ll feel amazing.

5. COMMUNICATION IS KING

Use your words. Sing them. Scream them. Write them down. But most importantly, get those words out in to the world. We all spend so much time complaining on the internet, or to our friends/family/whoever will listen about the most trivial stuff. Instead we should be talking to the people it pertains to. You don’t like something your husband did? You were unfairly treated at work? You feel you’re being taken advantage of? You didn’t get paid what you were promised? Say something. If you do nothing. If you say nothing. Nothing will ever ever ever ever change. Communucating with one another can seriously change the world.

6. SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES (with no expectations of return)

Many many moons ago when I first started modeling, I didn’t have any one to guide me. I didn’t have a single person to tell me if something was a scam, or that I shouldn’t pay for this or that, don’t cut your hair, learn how to dress, what is in a model bag? The internet wasn’t really a tool at the time. We barely used emails for bookings. Anyways. It’s been my vow and I’ve felt my duty to mentor/guide/pass on the torch to others when I can. Sharing is literally one of the best things we can do for ourselves and others. Not only does it make you feel good to help someone else out, you are also giving someone else a chance to have a great experience.

What do I mean by sharing your successes?

Example: I can’t make a particulr modeling job on Sunday (true story) so I reached out to my network of models and passed on the amazing opportunity to someone else.

Moral of the story. Stop being so competitve and afraid that another model (person) might take your client. If you are good at what you do, people will always remember you. They will remember your hard work, your kindness, your ability to share, and eventually maybe just maybe you’ll refer enough people they’ll start paying you for it? (Hey its happened to me a few times)

7. DROP YOUR EGO (sort of)

Okay. EGO isn’t all bad. We all need to believe in ourselves fully. So…..don’t drop your ego completely. DO allow yourself to be more open. I believe that many opportunities are missed because we think we are “too good” for something.  We all want to hold ourselves very high, because we think we are better than something. We think because we made this much money doing this job that we should always continue to make that much and never less, or we’ve worked this job so we can’t be seen doing something we consider beneath it. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. Yes. We do need to have standards. We do need to demand that we get paid what we are worth. We do have to make sure we are not being taken advantage of. BUT what I have learned is that you can never judge an opportunity because you never know what it might turn into.

8. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

Nobody is perfect, I repeat, NO LIVING HUMAN IS PERFECT. Although we are all pretty guilty of this on the daily reg. BUT just stop it. We are our worst critics, but it isn’t our place to judge others or compare ourselves to others. Look within yourself, if you do not like what you see, change it. But stop tearing yourself down trying to be someone else. Your successes, your path, your journey, your life. That is all you. You will never anyone other than you, so embrace that fully.  Be you and be proud.

9. BE PRESENT

GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONES.  It’s rude.  It’s boring. I’ve fallen into the habit of getting so annoyed that people are on the phones ignoring the moment that I’ve just started being on mine, because I hate talking to thin air.

Nothing on any social media page will ever be as important as the conversation you are having with a real live friend, spouse, family member. I don’t care how boring the conversation is, when you refuse to absorb the people in your presence, or the moment, you are refusing the have a normal open friendship/relationship with that person.  So if you are having a nice dinner, leave your phone in your purse/pocket/car. Pay attention. The world is beautiful.  Your phone can’t hold you at night.

10. CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS

You are completely responsible for your own happiness.  You need to get your life in order, pave your own way, make your own money, have your own individual successes, learn to cook for yourself, whatever. You need to be your own individual. It should never ever be up to another person to make you happy.

INSTEAD- You should be with a person or people or friends who enhance your existence. Who have their own game going and can run alongside you and share happiness. Right? Happiness is shared. And if that isn’t the case, run as far away from the negativity that is bringing you down son!  

*Side note- happiness isn’t constant ok? Like get a grip. Its work, just like everything else. So if sometimes you have a day where you aren’t super happy, its not the end of the world. Promise. Go pet some puppies, sip a latte or unicorn frapp if you have that fat heart, and sleep on it.

11. TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH

YES! Do something bold, something that you know deep down you want to do.  Something you maybe always dreamed of. If you can look deep inside your soul and say, if I do this I will be with the person of my dreams, I can live in a place I’ve never lived, I can change my life, I can live a little differently, DO IT. It might be scary. It might be the biggest uncertainity ever. It might not even be anything you ever expected. And it might not even work out. But if you don’t do it, you will spend your life wondering what if?

As Eminem once nobaly said:

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?

If you don’t take a leap of faith at least once in your life, to do something that might change your life forever, why not take it?  I did.  And I literally woulnd’t change it for the world. <3