#i dont really think there's anywhere else (where i'm friends with people) that has anything like this. like ill have no problem getting

[gorps]

I will be normal again after Feb 2nd just bc I can apply to other schools. I just won't be able to apply to the one I want to go to if I don't get a letter by the 1st:(

[infevious]

WISH YOU WERE SOBER

sum: confessing to him when you’re drunk

pairing: kinich x gn reader

contains: drunken confession, slight mention of his backstory

a/n: i was listening to “wish you were sober” by Conan Gray and thought of this, this is my first fic so uhhhh enjoy 😀😊⁉️ i have not written a fanfic since middle school and im high asf rn so it might be bad LOL might be ooc

———————————————————————————

This party's shit

Kinich sat around while everyone else was celebrating, he saw how you drank bottle after bottle. It hurt to see someone he cared about so deeply drink, it reminded him of his father, who he hated. But he couldn’t hate you, even if he tried.

wish we could dip, go anywhere but here

After a while you sat next to him, he didn’t want to come; he came for you. You excitedly asked if he was going to the celebration your tribe was having, he only agreed because he knew you would be there.

Don't take a hit, don't kiss my lips

You were awfully clingy when drunk, an equally drunk mualani had to pry you off her. You did the same to him; grabbing his arm and whining.

“I love you so much thank you for being my friend!” you cried

friend.

That’s all he was to you, just a friend.

And please don't drink more beer

He took the bottle away from you, poring what was left of it onto the floor and placing the empty bottle on the crate he was sitting on. He rolled his eyes as you whined

“You drank enough for tonight”

It hurt to see you drink so heavily, but he would never tell you that.

I'ma crawl outta the window now, ‘Cause I don't like anyone around

He looked around at everyone there, drunk, dancing, and celebrating. He never really talked to any of them and didn’t plan to, after all he only came for you. The few people he did talk to was strictly business. He slowly got up and took his arm away from your grip.

Kinda hope you're followin' me out

But this is definitely not my crowd

“Wait..!”

He turned around to see you stumbling behind him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m tired” Lies.

“…Me too..um- can- can you walk me home? I’m scared to- to go alone”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want you waking home alone in this state either..”

Nineteen, but you act twenty-five now

You always thought he was mature for his age, in Mualani’s words he always “has a stick up his ass”. You couldn’t blame him though, with the environment he grew up in..

Trip down the road, walking you home

“Come on, trouble magnet”

He waited for you to catch up and put an arm around your waist holding you up so you wouldn’t fall, you could barely walk and he was annoyed, sad even.

“The stars are so pretty”

“It’s really hot..”

“Woah look at the moon!”

He was getting tired of your endless sentences. He couldn’t understand how you could be such a heavy drinker. Was it a coping skill? He went through a lot and never thought about picking up a bottle. Did you enjoy the feeling? He wouldn’t know, he always swore to never try it. He didn’t want to end up like him.

Pullin' me close, beg me, "Stay over"

“Stay over..it’s too late and- I dont want to be alone right now”

He looked down at your drunken state, eyes half lidded, cheeks red; you looked so beautiful. He was always confused on how you were never like his father when drunk, you were always smiling, laughing, dancing, the complete opposite of him.

But I'm over this roller-coaster

He listened to you talk about whatever popped up into your mind, he turned to look at you after you’ve been quiet for some time. You were just looking at him, his lips.

“This- this is a dream right..?”

He looked at you confused, dream? Where did that come from?

“Sure, yeah this is a dream”

He didn’t really think anything of it, were you going to tell him an embarrassing memory? A secret no one else was supposed to know? Or- no. You would never..you said it yourself he was just a friend.

He looked at you, the moon light making you look almost angelic. He noticed you looking at his lips and then his eyes.

“If this is a dream then i can…”

He felt your lips press against his and it felt like time had stopped.

You pulled away, whispering an ‘I really like you’ before passing out almost immediately. He just sat there, a million thoughts rushing through his head. What the hell just happened? He looked down at you and noticed a small smile.

Real sweet, but I wish you were sober

[bagelsenjoyer14]

So when season two came out I promised I was going to dive into it and then I proceeded disappear but I'm back. Also I've been at school and work all day so sorry if some things dont make sense, or if theres any grammatical errors.

I know I talk about Crowley alot on here, but Azi has been on my mind lately, especially regarding his religious trauma. I mean this is one of the main plot points of season two (and a little bit in season one) Azi's main problem is that he still thinks in the very black and white, kind of old fashioned way of thinking that heaven is good, and hell is bad. We see this very very often in the show whether hes saying things like this to Crowley, for example:

(And in season two when he says something along the lines of "and you are evil, I'm afraid")

It seems something that Azi battles with for a long time, from when Azi freaks out when angel Crowley even CONSIDERS questioning God, he doesn't know what to say and goes in full panic. And these little remarks through the series shows what he still (tries) to believe. But I think he really begins to question during Job not only that he must be, by default, a bad angel for lying, yet he hasn't fallen, when someone like Crowley didn't do anything as severe and yet he fell?

But the problem Azi has is he cannot let this ideaology go. I mean we see him TRY to in season one and season two, he fundementally thinks Crowley is a good person, and he knows deep down the things heaven is doing is horrible. But Azi is too forgiving (we see this with Gabriel) and too optimistic in what heaven COULD be/ what God COULD be planning.

And this dynamic between him and Crowley is really interesting, it kind of shows the two spectrums of what religious trauma can do. Crowley, for example, has accepted early on that God has abandoned him, and he has learned the hard way that neither side is good and is instead better off fending for himself. We do see in his desperate moments him pleading to God, but time and time again he is ignored, which creates this weird relationship with Azi where for 6000 years he kept this weird distance between them in fear of abandonment again. While Azi on the other hand, does not know what it's like to fall, he deeply loves God and thinks She will always be good, but he is shown through other angels horrible things, and it's confusing (why would she create horrible angels, why would she cause disease and death if she was so good?) We see him get panicky once again when Crowley brings up the question in episode three as to why did God create poverty and expect those in horrible circumstances to turn out as good as those born in castles? And Azi kind of tries not to think too much about the point Crowley is making. I think Azi HAS silently questioned Her since Bliblical times, but has pushed it down, that's how his best friend fell, and the last thing Azi wants is God to abandon him.

Finally, I also want to touch on Azi's desperate need to be good and seen as good by others. I think this stems from him being seen as a "lesser" angel, being sent to Earth as more of a sort of punishment, being looked down on because of it. The one major thing him and Crowley have in common is not fitting in, anywhere. So I think all of this causes him to ache for validation that what he's doing is right. He says in season two that since he isn't reporting to Heaven, he calls Crowley to tell him about the good things he's done. We also see during the Job part where he lies to Gabriel, that he thinks he's a bad angel and once again I feel like this causes him to feel like he must over compensate and take the pain and sadness put on to the world for the better of everyone else.

Mitskis song "I Don't Smoke" always reminds me of Aziraphale becuase of the line "if you need to be mean/be mean to me/ I can take it/and put it inside of me" because time and time again Azi goes and does things to benefit others, and not himself. He puts himself on the front lines for people who have hurt him. Gabriel is a good example of this, this guy has tried to kill him! And yet he helps him. Crowley is obviously fraustrated by this, but Crowley doesn't understand exactly WHY Azi is like this, they have dealt with their trauma differently. So of course when the metatron offered him a position in heaven he took it. Not only did it help him feel validated and finally 'good enough' but also he once again jumped in front of a bullet heading directly to the world, and Crowley. He belives he is doing good by going to heaven. Even if it hurts him, he NEEDS to feel like he is helping others, and he believes that if God technically has appointed him to such a power to make sure nothing bad happens, then in his mind she must be good then.

[autisticlee]

I often think about how many nonspeaking autistic people get treated like they are unintelligent, incapable of thought or learning, and will never be able to communicate, from the time they are time children. so many parents of autistic kids and even "professionals" base their intelligence and/or ability to learn and communicate on their ability to speak. it's so sad to see.

I always think about how many autistic kids might never get the chance to communicate because their judgemental parents don't try to teach them basic things or give them an alternative form of communication. so many "autism parents" seem to think if their child doesn't speak, or has impared speech, that means they are incapable of using or understanding words.

i'm sure there's a lot of autistic people who do have that disability, not being able to learn or understand words at all and therefore unable to learn communication methods i mention. but how many can learn to understand just fine and have the ability to communicate with other means that isn't physically speaking, but are never taught any language or communication skills? how many could use alternate communication if given the chance? what if instead of speaking for their child because their child can't physically speak, the parents taught them how to write, how to type on a phone/computer, how to use sign language, or use AAC device? (whichever they are able/most comfortable with) how many are denied that chance, treated like they are "stupid" and can't understand anything anyone says to them, but they understand it all and just can't communicate that to anyone?

I imagine it feels like being trapped. so much to say, but unable. people speaking for and over you, going against your wants and needs, deciding everything for you because you can't make words come out of your mouth, and they didn't give you another way to make words.

i'm semi-speaking, if that's the correct way to refer to myself? I can speak when i'm not overloaded. when i'm too overwhelmed and go into shutdown mode, i'm unable to speak at all even if i really want to. i mainly only speak to close family/friends when at home and have great difficulty trying to speak outside of home and with people i dont know well. it took me almost 2 years to be able to minimally speak to the staff at a place i volunteer every week, and still have trouble asking questions or even saying hell/goodbye. but on a good day, if I try really hard, I can say a few sentences! if i'm completely comfortable and in a stable or familiar environment, I can have "normal" conversation. though, talking exhausts me so I still can't do it for extended periods and prefer not to. I prefer to listen. I get tired and overwhelmed a lot faster if I have to speak a lot, especially when i'm not at home and in an overwhelming environment.

I know it's VRRY different from nonspeakers, but just from the experiences I had as a kid, I can kind of try to imagine how frustrating it may be for the ones who may be denied the chance to communicate: as a kid, school overwhelmed and overloaded me to the point where just the noisy school bus in the mornings caused a shutdown that lasted all day. I would be unable to speak at school at all and beat myself up over it because I could not get words out. I would try, but I was physically unable to produce sounds in the form of words. sometimes I could make a squeak sound or one word out of a whole sentence. if I did manage to get words out, it was too quiet or slurred and no one could hear or understand me. I couldn't answer anyone 99% of the time at school (or anywhere else that overwhelmed me)

people did and said things I couldn't respond to. my needs were denied. people decided things for me. other kids bullied me, the teachers bullied me, they acted like I couldn't understand them sometimes and treated me like a baby. I would sometimes write responses in a notebook or on a paper. i've had my responses torn up and thrown away by other kids and teachers. getting told to speak instead. it was so frustrating, isolating, and dehumanizing.

but there were rare times I could speak. this made them even more insistent about trying to force me to speak and was always told I was doing it on purpose (and they eventually made me believe it! I couldn't figure out why I couldn't stop choosing to do it! i had so much to say and didn't know why i could not say any of it!) trying to make me speak became a game for them. if I did say a word, they treated me like a baby or a dog doing a command. they would act like they won a game. it felt so dehumanizing like I was a circus act. they called me a scary freak and I felt like one... evenrually I learned I'm autistic and that's what's causing it, that sensory overload, overwhelmed, and stress cause me to lose my speech ability, that it's not my fault. i'm still not sure if I'm doing better now because I learned I'm autistic and can regulate it better and avoid triggers that lead to shutdown, or it's because i'm not in school anymore and spend most of my time at home where I control my environment and needs.

but I feel like that whole experience as a kid gave me a very small taste of what I imagine some nonspeakers experience. it makes me think about the ones denied a communication outlet a lot 😭 they must feel so isolated and frustrated and might not ever get or got the chance to tell anyone about it. we might never get to hear about their experiences and what they feel and go through.

even ones who are given an outlet and taught language and alternate form of communication like typing or AAC, or whatever they need, and are still treated poorly just because they are unable to physically speak or communicate...I think about you too and hope you're able to do well and keep going. I think you're doing great and i'm proud of you 💜 I haven't been able to find many posts online from nonspeakers, so if you want to share your stories, I will listen. you can write a post or find posts already made and send it to me and I will read!

[beta-adjacent]

may i ask for any tips on how to incorporate a/b/o into my life, like nesting or scents? ive looked but i dont see any lists anywhere

Heck yeah you may, dude!!! :D I think it's hard for us to make lists/an official tip guide because everyone's different. What I’ve written below the cut is certainly more of a guided walkthrough of my experience, but I hope you can get something out of it!!

Scents:

I'll be honest, a lot of scent to me is a mind game, haha. I've found myself most connected when I'm walking past a group of people and smell someone else's perfume. They won't know it, but I'll take solace that they're like me-- we both just want to be smelly.

I don't have a "100% official, patent pending" scent, but I do have what I call a "ballpark of olfactory favorability". And really, I created my ballpark by paying attention to what smells I linger on, haha. Realistically, we wouldn't be able to smell ourselves in the omegaverse, but having a scent as a miscecanis is entirely for ourselves. So I don't like to think of my scent as "how others should/would/could perceive me" but rather "how I want myself to perceive me", or even better "what would I like to smell today?". Oftentimes, my own answer to that varies by day, hence my ballpark.

If you've forgotten what smells exist, Poesie and Demeter are two perfume brands I've been recommended. I haven't tried them myself, so I wouldn't be able to comment on their physical quality, but I still think they're worth looking at! Some of the scents I see in those catalogues I never would've thought of on my own.

More succinct suggestions:

If you're able, try to be actively aware of what you smell. When you have a quiet moment, take a deep breath. What do you smell? Is it good, bad, not much of anything? How does it impact you, if at all?

Think, experiment, and explore with the smells around you. What smells do you associate with being happy, sad, angry? What's something you want to smell? If you met your clone, how would you hope they smelled?

For most of us, we won't be able to smell like our scent. If you're able, surround yourself with what you love to smell, even if that doesn't feel like your scent. Sometimes being around what you love has to be enough.

Nests:

I struggle with nests all the time!!! I naturally, constantly crave them while also being extremely picky about them. Sometimes, all I can do is imagine what life will be like when I'm rich enough to build my six story mansion (and what the one floor dedicated to nests would be like), bwahahaha.

I am privileged to have materials that I find comforting and that elevate my nesting experiences. I'm even more privileged to have a space in my living situation that I can experiment with. It's hard to say "just try different things you like!" because many are unable to.

Some general principles in my mind when I nest:

Expand your idea of a nest. While yes, the classic sleeping structure like a bed is The known nesting base, it sometimes doesn’t feel like a nest at all. And it doesn’t have to be! Look for what feels like yours in your life. Maybe it’s your favorite spot on the couch, or your assigned seat in a classroom, or even your favorite oversized hoodie. The point is that it’s yours, even for just an hour, and that you’re allowed to own that space for as long as you have it (including personal space). This isn’t to say you should nest everywhere and be hyper-territorial; it’s to say that a nest is a place where you feel safe and at home and sometimes that’s not physically in your room

If and only if you can, obtain materials that bring you comfort. I'll be honest; the greatest thing I've ever gotten for a nest was leftover pieces of couch foam. I’m always worried I’ll die of dehydration so there’s almost always a emergency bottle of water near my nest. My friends used to have a system where we would trade plushies every night, and that brought us comfort. All of these things bring or once brought me comfort to my daily life, especially when I come home and need a space to decompress. These materials were not bought specifically for nesting and they certainly don’t have to be conventional.

Listen to your needs/wants and prepare for those to conflict/change. For a week, my brain goes “ooh, you should try sleeping under your bed tonight!” Which is crazy because I’ve tried sleeping under beds a thousand times before and it doesn’t go well. But one night I gave in and laid under my bed, and something in me was soothed. And I had to think about why this was working for me mentally but not physically. What I learned was that my brain really wanted distance from an immovable object in my room, and I was able to change my sleeping situation accordingly. Long story short, by humoring my impulses, I was able to learn where my different needs can compromise

If you’re looking more for the logistics of how to build a nest, there actually are quite a bit of nest inspiration and tutorials I’ve seen float around! I think there’s even a nesting tag but don’t quote me on that. I’ll check in my feed and reblog some stuff I’ve found intriguing before

I know a majority of this sounded rather “philosophically preachy”, for a lack of a better phrase. That’s just how the incorporation works in my life now. If there’s anything to take away, let it be this: there’s no “right” or “wrong” way to be miscecanis or partake in the lifestyle, if your heart is respectful and kind to both the community and to yourself. There is no rush, pressure, or limit to how this journey can manifest for you. Do what sounds fun and attainable; ideas are in just about every fic or blog you’ll find!

I sincerely hopes that this inspires you in your journey!!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Random creepypasta character hcs VOL. 3(?)

Lost count on these but yeah I wanna drop more headcannons!!!

Nina is genderfluid and uses any pronouns! They also wear binders every now and then + they wear pride jewelry

Also they dye their hair like. A few shades lighter because he likes how the roots look when they grow out!! Same note they dye their own hair!!

I'm sorry for really focusing on nina but I've been flashing my design for her; but she also wears fake fangs

Before eyeless jack became eyeless, he has heterochromia! One eye was brown and the other was more gold!

Obligatory "I hc that ej and nina would be friends" but they do each others nails and would help each other put together outfits

A majority of eyeless Jack's shirts are band shirts

The neighborhood, TV girl, hollywood undead, mother mother, ICP, ect ect are a few of his favorites! Granted I think his wardrobe would become more limited since he lives in the woods alone in my au...

Still focusing on EJ, in my au before he got all.. monsterified... I feel like he was studying to be a doctor

Ironic and kinda messed up considering now he's forced to dissect people to sustain his own body but yeah

I'm pretty sure I said this before but I'll say it again since I love the concept; but Ben 99% of the time is bound to electronic devices. Basically meaning you'll rarely, if ever, see him drag himself out. Even when he does it takes a lot out of him, and he can only wander for so long until he has to go back

More au stuff but to help give jill her own unique vibe and stuff, I designed her to look like those old dolls you'd see way back then. You know the ones, with the porcelain faces and ragdoll-like bodies!! She still has her black and white clown look but yeah!! Due to this she also has visible tears and stitches on her; mainly on the limbs!! I also kinda wanna give her a sort of lolita dress look, if I ever draw her again! Give her loads of frills and stuff

Tying this all off since shes made to resemble a doll shes short 😔☝️ a moment of silence for lady

She can still stretch her limbs like jack, though

Though tbh idk if jill could do that or not <\3 but shh it's my au

Jane is much more... well idk the right wording, but I guess shes more masc presenting in my hc/au? She doesnt wear a dress or pair of heels like her canon look

I adore her canon look dont get me wrong, but I feel like considering that shes gunning for Jeff, that isnt too practical; esp considering jeff is.... something else

Basically wears stuff that's easier to run in, add some protection to her if she falls, swap the heels out with running shoes, no dangly accessories, ties her hair back. If not she'd definitely cut it down short

She still has her mask, though, but its a prosthetic she made/received herself since I dont think she'd want to touch the one jeff gave her

So yeah!!

Also I feel like, out of most the creepypastas, she has the best chance of living her own life in society; she only has intention to end game jeff, but asides that shes just. Mostly normal. Shes in therapy for her trauma, she has a job, she lives in her own place, ect

Oh that also reminds me! I keep rattling in about "my au" this, "my au" that, but I havent actually... released anything about it outside of headcannons

Idk if it'll be out in written fanfics, or as comics, or just one shot half au-accurate drawings or WHAT but

Basic run down of the au; time skip has taken place, havent decided a set amount of years, but it's been long enough that characters (that age) like jeff or jane are in their 20s (so like anywhere between 7-13ish years)

Slender still has his mansion, but it's hardly like anything the old fandom had,, it's no where near as huge or extravagant; its about as good as an abandoned mansion can be with little to no access to materials to upkeep it, and hardly anyone lives in it

Also same area ej lives, but they don't interact much and have a tense dynamic; both refuse to change locations

Still fleshing out the mansion idea!! So this is subject to change!!

Anywaus

Obviously characters who dont age/are ghosts/undead dont change ages; so like ben and sally are still the same, and the same applies to others like

Uuuuuh

Puppeteer, laughing jack and jill, slender and his brothers (this au does not include THAT one, fuck that one, we only have splendor and trender here), zalgo

Oh speaking of zalgo! He exists!! They don't really have a physical/tangible form though, hes more so a concept/untouchable entity that corrupts whatever it touches and causes chaos

Anyways

Also eyeless Jack's aging is... slowed; not by much but yeah!! Side effect of his curse and the whole "his body is changing into something horrific", and the slow age thing is a whole thing about the curse trying to extend his life span in order to cause more damage to himself and others

Real goofy stuff

Anyways

Laughing jack lives in his lil box and mostly transfers from person to person via the box being passed around

Be it garage sales or being sold in a goodwill, he eventually finds a new family to torment

No one suspects the old ass jack in the box!!!!

Ysah that's about it

Sits

Anyways yall should totally send me In requests (please read my pinned first!!)

[trolagygirl2022]

im not looking for a reading but mainly advice do u have any tips on feeling less apathetic? ive ruined my once good sleep so many times that i no longer have the energy to truly enjoy something for myself because my energy is always taken by something ir someone else. im not kidding it takes me 5 minutes around some leeches and my batteries will be drained in an instant.

i couldnt even watch a whole programme the other day because my dad likely has adhd and or is just attention seeking and kept being a distraction all the way thru it and on top of that and other people who have usually been arseholes or they jsut like to make my life harder than it needs to be. i dont really like them anyway i have no desire to fit in socially anymore, my cat is messing up my sleep and ive got a concert im going to that now i dont know if i have any particular feelings towards it cause im just wasting away atp and concerts or anywhere where theres lots of people is incredibly draining but i didnt want to pass up on this group i love and its weird i love a foreign group but i cant find the same love for anyone around me all the time is that normal? and i had been trying very good to keep sleeping at right times and i just feel thay im losing my mind slowly but surely cause i keep getting these distraction campaigns and other shit i have to do or react too. people just take my energy and drain it then wonder why i dont want nothing to do with anything anymore that and its like i can pour my heart into a friendship only to realise the same "friend" didnt really gaf about me anyway so yeah im rather bitter and apathetic and it sucks so any advice would be moderately more delightful rn. i dont think therapys going to do nothing ive tried it before but i wind up with the same feelings i had some time ago and nothing really amends it honestly shits been getting bizzare for years now and it just slowly pushes ur buttons. even if i try something im too tired to keep going with it or i force myself to like it because if i dont then ive got nothing else i really like doing so i overdo it on my interest then also get burnt out and bored of it quickly. and i dont want to fix this issue with filling it with things that in the long run still wont make me truly enjoy whatever it is i want to do. honestly ppl in victorian times were lucky they had the plague and some other shit going on that got rid of them quickly but modern life is like a slow painful forced existance where i dont end up caring much for anything.

also nothings worked out in the past literally it feels like people are against me being happy and successful. and if im not a social person due to having always been around the worst sort of personalities then what is there to really seek out in people? they all end up being the same knobhead as the previous one aka usually a self entitled prick who only cares about themselves. then theres the whole its usually the attention seeking pricks who are most adored praised and pitied for just about anything even tho it should be clear as day that they are the biggest arseholes to ever exist whereas quiet people often get nitpicked at for simply trying to exist in an overcrowded place where people mainly want something for themselves and they often dont seem to care how their actions affect others anyway? do u get what im yapping about. its been my problem for years now in fact more than a decade people have been purposefully trying to bother me even other alleged grown adults have acted like worse toddlers that are stuck in adult bodies. sorry for yapping but idk what else im supposed to do. jts like when people do something just to prove u right about them and im like yeah ok i get its how theyre wired but it dont make me care that deeply for wanting to belong anywhere yet it feels like if we dont belong anywhere fomo kicks in and that sucks even more.

For me I think the best way is to put myself in their own shoes. Like I would say most times I'm a pretty empathetic person but especially when I think about myself in that person's position. You should also try discussing this with a therapist or some professional! Take care 😊

[mistergoddess]

i wish i had friends lol i wish ive ever had friends. it is so jarring and sad to realize like oh its normal and expected to like. still have friends from previous periods of your life like. most people have friends from highschool, college, previous jobs, previous activities/hobbies and living arrangements... i literally don't have any. i mean i barely have a small handful of extremely casual friends rn, not people i feel particularly emotionally close to or see that much or talk to frequently, and even that is pretty impressive for me. but i don't have any like... Friends friends... my acquaintances/casual friends all have their own Real friends, people they've known much longer and have real context and history with. and i can't think of any time i've had a group of like. my own Real friends. and not just some people i'm kind of around sometimes socially who don't really see me as a close friend but just someone who's there in their social circle and when i disappear they'll never ever think of or try to contact me, not that they did even when i was around. and it's fucking depressing. it's so weird and sad. and that's very much on me! i'm super socially stunted and asocial and don't really like people and have never really properly made friends anywhere i've ever been in life, despite my very small periods of trying to be social! sometimes i fear this late in life it's permanent lol and the older i get the lonelier i get like everyone else already has their real friends and i'm always gonna be someone who's gonna be alone the second i stop actively being in social spaces where people are incidentally around me. like i think that's the real definition of friends, if you stop actively showing up to some group or scene or job, are they still gonna be in your life outside of that... and i have had uh. EXTREMELY few of those. the very few people i was kinda barely social with in highschool were just for while i was in highschool. the slightly healthier group of people i was social with in college were only in my life because i was around them in college. everyone i've ever been chill with at jobs have only been in the context of the job and never anyone i've carried beyond or outside of the job. the few periods of my life where i've actively socialized in some hobby or local scene or something, those people were just the people also in the hobby or scene, not My Friends. and i've gone some REALLY long periods without actively being in anything. from 2020 to 2023, three entire years... i... had genuinely zero social life, zero friends, zero like pleasant social interaction outside of maybe some coworkers who i chatted with at jobs over the years like. it was really fucking dire. i've mostly only had like toxic weird online friendships that fall out and not so toxic but still weird online friendships that peter out and an Extremely small number of toxic Real friendships that usually end up really fucked up by romance stuff bc idk people just wanna date me instead of being my friend!!!! i would love to get friendzoned more often im tired of shit going from toxic friendship to toxic relationship i want actual fucking friends i dont want weird bad stressful relationships anymore!!! like my romantic history is even worse but man i think as much as my brain is like U Need That Or Ur Gonna Kys about romantic love i think its not for me it makes me uncomfy and stressed all the time it's like. a weird intense stressful obligation. and honestly so is friendship lol it genuinely feels like a chore and is mostly uncomfy but that is even more strongly U Need That Or Ur Gonna Kys uuugh idk :( idk i hate socializing and having to deal with people it is always really annoying and stupid but i am also super sad and lonely and need friends lol!

[sputnikodin]

re: the watcher anger

i know $6 a month isn't a lot in the united states, but they have a pretty international audicence and with currency exchange, $6 is a lot. like in hong kong that's $50 a month, mexico its 102 pesos a month, in the phillipines that's 345 pesos a month, in argentina that's 5,221 argentine pesos--you get the idea. hell, i live in the us and i can't even afford to spend an extra $6 a month 😭

i agree on paying creators fairly, and i know watcher has 25 employees who deserve to paid. but the channel already pulls in over $100k a month from patreon alone; they also make bank from all their sponsors and merch sales. i mean, one of their main series is steven lim eating expensive food like gold flaked beef. i mean, he has a new tesla!

idk it just feels like that ceo thing where they aren't happy with consistent success, it needs to be increasing success. but ofc idk them, i'm just an outside observer so idk the full story, etc.

first up -- i actually think $6 a month IS a lot for some people in the US & have talked in private w friends about how i wish they'd started at like, $1-$3/mo or smth because even that would make it more affordable for a lot of their fans :-) just to clear that up! $6 is a lot when most streaming services that offer way more than 2x as much content cost like 2x as much on average (i think? the only streaming service i have is for baseball, i pirate everything else so idk). $6 a month is also a lot, Period, for many people, regardless of context. it's the principle of paying for it at all that was my main point in that post

to everything else -- great points and i appreciate the info and your perspective. re: money i know $100k/mo sounds like a lot + they have the other revenue sources you mentioned but i think it's important to keep in mind that they're not just paying for their own/their employees' lives but also funding the shit they make -- travel, gear, production costs, everything they need to buy for the videos etc. like it's not JUST 28 paychecks that the money is going towards but also the necessary costs of the job itself. not to mention that at least shane steven and ryan live in a super HCOL area ($100k/yr for a single person is literally considered "low income" in san francisco lmao & i dont even wanna know what it is in los angeles). they could still be making bank, idk! i have literally no idea what their finances look like, i'm spitballing the same as everyone else. but i think shit costs more than a lot of people realize

i have zero argument with the frustrations with how expensive this will be for their non-usamerican audiences, i'm really sorry that they didn't roll out different prices for different locations or like ... seem to take that into consideration at all. like i said in the original post, i have no beef with anyone who is personally upset about getting priced out of content they love. honestly my only point here is that i do not doubt at all that everything they release on watcher will be uploaded to piracy sites by people w accounts & that everyone anywhere who is capable of piracy (ik some countries are harsh about it but # of countries where it faces strict repercussions < # of countries where watcher's pricing is prohibitively expensive afaik) will be able to access it, and i bring that up more in hopes that it's encouraging for people worried about getting to still watch their content than bc i'm trying to argue anything

ultimately i still think this was not an outrageous thing for them to do & i empathize with people who are pissed and sad with the Way this is going down but i still at the end of the day think we gotta adjust to artists wanting & requesting to be paid regularly and directly for their work cuz that is the world we live in rn. it sucks but i can't get mad at them for it

[kpostedsum]

daddy issues; D.M

summary: you and draco bond over issues in 6th year

word count: 2.4k

warnings: err angst, comfort, illusions to sex

song: daddy issues (the remix) - the neighbourhood

a/n: i tried not to make it stereotypical bc i didn’t wanna make it seem all “i like older men lol”, probably my fav fic i’ve written, also arent these anime gifs so cute

masterlist | taglist

Take you like a drug

I taste you on my tongue

Tongues battling for dominance, bodies rubbing against each other searching for a feeling. It’s become routine now, a different person in your dorm swallowing a new pill, entangling limbs with someone just to feel something.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

It was a constant cycle, putting yourself out there seeking the male attention you crave, seeking validation, constant reassurance and trusting too easily. That’s how you ended up with a different guy who always in the end leaves. You trusted too easily and people took advantage of how trusting and naive you are just for a quick shag.

You wished it wasn’t like this but that’s all you knew, wanting to be the best version of yourself for someone just to feel needed, no matter if the person was good or bad for you. You didn’t care, you wanted love from anyone you could get it from even if it just hurt you more.

You’re familiar with the absence, something stable made you feel a bit wary. It wasn’t something you were used to. Your father wasn’t the most present in your life, and even though he's there, he's never really there.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

You always wondered where you went wrong, he preferred your siblings over you and doesn't pay you a piece of his mind. Constantly going out of your way to get his attention whether it was academically or acting a certain way just to get some sort of reaction. But he was too preoccupied with his other children, even if they were from your mom or his affairs.

That’s how you found yourself right now sitting in the astronomy tower past curfew watching the rain fall, trying to clear your head while humming softly to yourself to keep yourself distracted.

You hear distant chattering from below and quickly get up from where you were sitting and make your way to your dorm unnoticed by anyone.

Except one person, Draco Malfoy.

I tried to write your name in the rain

But the rain never came

So I made with the sun

The shade

Always comes at the worst time

He’s seen you before, you’re known around Hogwarts for how you put yourself out there and how ‘desperate’ you are for some affection. He almost feels bad for you, but he’s in no place to judge. With his dad in Azkaban Draco had so much more to worry about, like his task and how he can succeed. But there was something about you that intrigued him that he couldn't ignore.

He saw you again in transfiguration the next day and noticed a few hickeys littering your neck that you had tried to cover but it didn’t work. He wondered why you gave yourself up to so many people, but once again he was in no place to judge. He noticed the way your tongue would stick out when you focused extra hard, the way your hands would tighten around your quill when you got a question wrong and your face.

The same face that many boys including the older years would fawn over, the face that entranced and attracted many, the face of someone who would do anything for someone for some affection and the face of someone who seeked out all the wrong things.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

You walk out of transfiguration on your way to the owlery to send a letter to your parents and feel eyes watching you everywhere. You like it, the attention, it’s something that you thrived in, but you couldn’t help but feel a new set of eyes on you.

Once you reached the owlery you realized you weren't the only one there, Draco Malfoy was also there sending a letter to who you assumed was his mother.

“y/n, right?” he asked, trying to spark a conversation.

“Yea, listen i’m sorry about what happened with your father i know you really looked up--”

“Dont worry about it, he wasn’t as good an influence as I made him out to be,” he sighed, looking away.

“My dad isn’t the best either if i’m being honest, i guess we’re in the same boat” you let out a light chuckle.

And that’s how you found yourself hanging out with draco malfoy bonding over your shared issues.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues

It’s been weeks since you two started hanging out since the interaction in the owlery and have been getting closer ever since. You both sat down together in the astronomy tower, backed against the wall as the cool wind blew against your faces. The aura between you two was calm, a comfortable silence.

“So tell me about your dad, how is it with him in Azkaban?” you asked, tilting your head towards him.

“Mother’s not taking it well” he frowned. “I can’t even say potter’s wrong for getting him locked up because he deserves it. All my life he praised the dark lord and taught me to be selfish and always defend my blood, but he was never there for me when I needed him. I would have done everything just to hear ‘i’m proud of you’ but it never came. It’s worse now because mother’s all alone. I wish I could have stayed with her” he sighed looking out the tower watching the stars twinkle.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been much quieter this year as well, you stopped making fun of people. It’s not that nice on the receiving end huh?” you said with a teasing look on your face.

He shook his head at you scooting closer to you, it’s like the demeanor between you two have changed over the past few weeks. You found yourself pining over him rather than being in someone's bed. But this is how the cycle always goes, you get attached and they leave, you couldn’t help but hope this wasn’t the situation this time.

“Tell me about your father”

Daddy stuck around but he wasn't present

Cheated on your mom but she never left him

First I didn't get it, now I understand

He broke her heart, left money in her hand

So everything got paid for

She made sure you and your brother had way more

Than she ever had growing up

And when you told me the whole story I felt like throwing up

“ I don't know if i’d even call him my father at this point, he doesn't want me.” you sighed. “He's been cheating on my mum for years now and she still won't leave him because she thinks they can work it out. He’s had affairs with different pureblood women and has children with them. But what hurts the most is how he treats them as his own children and treats me as if I don't exist” you said, looking down as tears pooled your eyes.

Draco moved closer to you and brought his arm around your shoulders for a sense of comfort and waited for you to catch your breath so you can continue.

“I just want him to love me” you cried. “I go out my way to try and get his attention with my school work but it never works. That's why I get along with so many guys. I seek the validation, the comfort and the reassurance that I can get from him from others and I am so tired of it. I just want him to want me draco.” tears slipping out your eyes as you looked up at him, you’ve never confessed this to anyone before.

“Everyone always leaves, please don't leave me” you cried

“I’m not going anywhere” he turned his face towards you, leaning forward cautiously as if you were made of glass.

You leaned forward, wanting the exact same thing. Both very hesitant he gently pressed his soft lips against yours and they moved together in sequence, only taking a break to go back to his dorm and to breathe, limbs tangled together for the rest of the night until the sun rose.

I can see it on your face it was rough left a bad taste on your tongue

And she didn't even take any drug

She would rain all day

Couldn't wait for her son to shine

And you made it shine

There when she cried, you saved her life

It's been a week since that night in the astronomy tower and draco had already been avoiding you. It’s humiliating, but you should have known. You thought the ‘bond’ you had with him would last, it felt so genuine this time. So real.

You’d see him around the halls snogging pansy on your way back to the ravenclaw tower, lowering your head down so he wouldn’t be able to see you so you could get by quickly and unnoticed.

But he saw you.

He stared you right down in your teary eyes as he made out with pansy. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal, for someone who promised he wouldn’t leave you like everyone else, he did the exact same.

You did the only thing you knew of, you ran.

I keep on trying to let you go

I'm dying to let you know

How I'm getting on

I didn't cry when you left at first

But now that you're dead it hurts

This time I gotta know

Where did my daddy go?

I'm not entirely here

Half of me has disappeared

Draco followed you to the girls lavatory, hearing your shallow cries coming from one of the stalls. He approached the stall you were in trying not to make too much noise so he doesn't startle you.

He felt awful.

He promised he would never leave you, after you both poured your hearts out to each other but he still left. He had too, he was putting you in danger just by being with him. If Voldemort ever found out about you and hurt you he wouldn't be able to live with himself, that's why he took it upon himself to hurt you first.

“y/n are you in here?” he called out even though he knew the answer.

You recognized that familiar voice anywhere. “What do you want draco?” you said, trying to make it seem as if you weren’t just crying.

“I want to talk to you, please”

“No,” you said getting up and pushing yourself out of the stall. “You don't get to just throw me away after I told you everything and just come back into my life like nothing ever happened. Just go away, that's all you guys are good for” you spat.

“Just listen to me, it was to keep you safe. I didn;t want to but i couldn't bear seeing you hurt” he tried to explain.

“Safe?” you laughed. “ and what exactly do i need saving from, malfoy.”

“From me” he said as he pulled up his sleeve revealing his dark mark to you. Your body instantly tensed, you knew he was having problems and his family was involved with the dark lord but you never knew it was like this.

“Draco i-” you tried to say something but the words were stuck in your throat. He stood there looking at you desperately like he was waiting for you to tell him everything was okay, you wanted to be there for him but you didn’t know what to do. You trusted him with everything but he couldn't trust you with this? You thought the bond you had made would have made him trust you in the slightest, but clearly it's always you who’s more trusting.

“Why didn't you tell me?” you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

“I thought you’d leave me, you were the only good thing i had. Please don't leave me” he begged, salty tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks as he looked at you with desperation.

“So you thought pushing me away by snogging pansy was better?” you yelled, as he continued to look at you slightly taken aback by your lashing out.

“You know what, go ahead and cry little boy. You know that your daddy did too, you know what your mama went through. You gotta let it out soon, just let it out” you taunted walking closer to him looking straight into his teary eyes.

“This time I'll be the one that leaves.” and with that you were gone.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

It’s been months since that night in the girls lavatory, and you missed him. You wanted to visit him in the hospital wing once you heard what happened with Harry Potter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. He left you, and you were tired of always going back to people who just hurt you.

Now here you were at the battle of Hogwarts, standing with everyone while Voldemort and his death eaters stood across from you all.

“Draco, draco come here” you heard narcissa call from across the scene. He looked hesitant, as if he was waiting for someone to stop him but no one did. So he started walking over to his parents.

But you grabbed his hand.

“Stay please” you whispered looking up into his eyes.

He looked back at his parents and back at you like he was contemplating his answer.

“I’ll stay”

If you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

—————-

tagging fun ppl nd ppl who interacted (so srry if u don’t wanna be tagged)

@hellohellook @astoria-malfcy @justfangirlthingies @sfdlm @falling-loki @notvasi @gwlvr @malfoytookmyheart

[moonlightchn]

~WHOLESOME WEDNESDAY~

Hello this is (not) JYPe and guess who's feeling soft again? this mf 💞 heh I just thought hey it's been a while and I kinda am seeing how a lot of us are falling back on activity and posting less and stuff and I kinda feel like the general activity of the community has come DOWN a lot which I mean it's OK!!!! because we all have lives!!!! right? but also I do kinda WORRY LIKE WHERE YALL AT i guess I just kinda wanna make sure we're all doing good? yall holding on? taking care? sleeping and stuff? I've seen also many bots pop up again recently (STARES AT THAT ONE ADMIN THAT MADE LIKE 3 BOTS IN 2 MONTHS WITH LIKE 10 PPLZ EACH YES YOU PLEASE TAKE CARE) and I know bot can sometimes feel like a job more than a fun relaxing place for some so just take it easy on that too just making sure we all remember that things around here aren't that deep and you can take it at your own pace. this has always been supposed to be a safe, fun place where we make friends and have a blast, so if it doesnt feel like that anymore step back, take a deep breath and then come back if you want but like dont feel like you gotta be here and keep putting stuff out for others

I know school work, uni, real work, family, responsibilities, it can all be too much sometimes and drive us a little bit insane. I personally have a 🤩🤩 fun few days coming 🤩🤩 I hope I don't die 🤩🤩 so yeah maybe I'm PROJECTING RN but yknow how it be, I think its important sometimes to remind ourselves that, yknow, stepping back and taking some time for ourselves it's also ok. I sometimes just log out and not having my phone vibrating and notifs popping up for just a few hours feels refreshing. it's ok. you wont miss out on anything important for treating yourself to one internet free day

we take so many things seriously sometimes dont we? like, sure theres things that ARE important like keeping connections and friends and staying healthy and safe, but also theres so many things that are important for ??? no valid reason ??? or that maybe we wrongly prioritize over other things like for example dont prioritize your bot development over your sleep plz don't do that it's not worth it rip, or dont feel like you need to be around 24/7 when you have other things to do or just don't want to. dont feel like you're neglecting bot because you have to study or feel like going out with friends is pushing you back here. dont feel like being behind in notifs is such a big deal. youre a great admin and you're doing well!

but also like,,,, dont prioritize work and uni over sleep and eating and taking breaks and going out and getting fresh air either. really just prioritize yourself first. sometimes being here just as admin and sharing and talking to friends is good enough. you dont always need to be your character, you don't always need to keep an image or a clean neat blog. you can just enjoy and go around shitposting that's really ok! (bunnies for the soul)

yknow it's really cliche to think about it but sometimes you just gotta sit back and be like what am i doing? why am i doing this? what am I taking from this? is this meaningful or beneficial for my life and my growth and my wellbeing? like tumblr as any social media can be TOXIC it rlly still is just because we don't see shit it doesnt mean it's not going on and just because we don't go through something anymore it doesn't mean it hasnt hurt us or leave us super fucking paranoid around.

I JUST AM SAYING that I know many of us maybe feel safe and welcomed and at home here or like we won't get this thing we have here anywhere else but I think we make our own safety and comfort yknow? itd be really sad to see some of you go and the community poof but I also think that for us to keep carrying this thing we have and for us to protect it and for more people to feel welcome and safe we first need to look at ourselves and be sure we can actually keep doing this. I see posts pop here and there about admins feeling sad they get no interactions or how people they talked to has left or how they simply have things going on that makes them sad and unable to be around and I think often we forget, even though we say it ALL the time, that we're all just people behind these. dont forget you're just a person too. I've personally been having quite a hard time coming around with the boys on dms, anyone who talks to me knows that, but as admin? I'm always here. and sure none of us HAS to feel responsible of others, we're not /individually/ responsible of someone's fun or popularity or how long they stick around, but as a whole community we are all responsible somehow of this place's safety and to look ALL after each other. don't forget we're all just people and don't push each other to get things

anyway what im trying to say is that I do fucking love all of you so much and like I worry yknow??? I worry a lot when I see someone upset or I feel like an admin is in a kinda place. it's been just a bit over a year since I've joined this and ive been lucky enough to meet some amazing people that will always live in my heart no matter what and some others maybe I do not really know you or talk to you but I do appreciate your existence yknow you're not invisible and I notice when some of yall delete or when someone I see around makes a new bot and I 👀 or when yall change @s without telling and I have to go through my lists to fix them. maybe it's not enough but I do notice you and I hope you know that. and so because I love all of you I do think that I am a bit responsible of putting at least one smile on your faces throughout the day too be it with a post or a rb or an ask and so I do hope all of you feel a little responsible about someone else's happiness too. I know dash can be hard, I know dms can be hard, and I'm.not saying hey go befriend each other RN but maybe just stopping by someone's bot and "hey this is v cool!", I'm sure that would mean a lot for many people

maybe I just ate too much sugar today. whatever it be, have bunnies I love this kind of art

[bansheeoftheforest]

Uh, is there still an angst break? Ignore this ask until your ready if so 👉😎👉

-

What was the au where Jekylls pushed down the stairs and experiences a skull crackening again? Oh well but I've been thinking of a branch of that where Jekyll doesn't know hes dead like all day. I also cant remember if that was already discussed or not

The lodgers patch him up, he complains of a headache, and goes on his merry way! He's confused why all the lodgers are so nervous and being nice to him all of the sudden, why creature is looking at him with a stange mix of empathy and pity. He was told he fell down the stairs, fell unconscious, and obtained a bit of an injury. He cant fathom why Frankenstein is "The only doctor who can treat him" why he has to constantly go to her for checkups. Why Maijabi is suddenly following him practically everywhere.

Hyde squeezes back control for a moment and tries the potion but it doesn't work. Maybe a bit of pain but certainly no transformation. Jekyll assumes his injury or whatever medication they're giving him to treat it somehow negated the effects

Jekyll complains about "suddenly blacking out" the lodgers know its because his soul is slippery. They tell him it must just be a side effect of the injury and not to worry

How long can they keep it secret from him? When does he find out? Does he? Does it get to be years only for him to realize that he hasn't aged? That he still needs checkups from Frankenstein? Does he learn sooner? Does a lodger crack and say it? Does he rot? Does he notice how so very cold he is. How animals act around him? It's all very interesting,,

-

I actually did think a bit of Jekyll's kidnappers for the amnesia kidnapping au! When drawing that lil sketch of Henry and O'Leary meeting Robert I had considered making it so O'Leary was suspicious of Lanyon like "Oh theres no news anywhere of someone matching Thomas' description who's missing. But some random people walk up claiming to know him? Begging to take him back with them?" And he'd think they were the kidnappers. But ultimately I decided against it as I felt Lanyon and Rachel were pretty clearly, genuinely concerned for "Thomas" :p

-

I tried playing assassins creed once, the first(?) one. But the controls were confusing and everything was sorta thrown all at me at once, and I got bored of it quickly

But! I went to the store the other day and just so happened to notice Syndicate was being sold for 15 dollars 👀 So I bought it because funky Victorian assassins and your influence! It's a bit less confusing then the first ac game I tried but why is going down or dropping so hard bdksnks. I'm having quite a bit of fun! If you dont count my rage and annoyance-, the B button refuses to cooperate with me unless I'm looting corpses >:(

The b button being the bane of my existence aside, I AM having fun! I like the funky outfits and I want to play as the girl twin (evie?) forever because her clothes are good and shes better at attacking than jacob(?) For some reason. Probably the stun her weapon has? Oh well! I have not unlocked any new outfits yet, nonetheless I wish there were more.

Also! I was thimking, and my current quests are taking place at 1868? Did I get that right? And Jekyll is like 35 in 1885. So in game he'd be 18! An au like I believe you mentioned sounds very interesting 👀 but I must play more to know what's going on and daydream about it

That would be the resurrection au <3

But god, I really like that branch! Especially combined with the hc that he can't feel pain bc the HJ7 and the transformations made him immune. Frankenstein patched him up and made fleshweaver to heal the crack in his skull but it still has to be bandaged, he surely broke a few bones, yet all he has to do is to be careful because it doesn't even hurt. He doesn't even realize how severe the injuries are because it doesn't hurt, it very well might just have been that he accidentally slipped at the bottom of the staircase and accidentally hit his head on the railing during his fall, rather than getting physically pushed and flying down the stairs, shattering his skull upon impact with the marble floor. Y'know what would be extra fun? If he only starts getting a bit suspicious about how severe the injury was once he realizes his lungs stop breathing for minutes at a time when he gets distracted, or his heartbeat stops dead in his chest. I know that that's not how biology or even creature works but lets say the HJ7 is funky, Zombie Jekyll my beloved. Perhaps he would only fully grasp what had happened once he blacked out too much and 'passed out', but his soul slipped out enough to leave his body unconscious on the floor while his soul/ghost was just... Watching. And it's not until Maijabi (who, as you said, follows him everywhere) immediately calls for more Lodgers saying that Henry's soul is getting unstable and Frankenstein's lousy job is starting to shine through that he fully understands that it was not a mere hit to the head. Or maybe it is when days, weeks, maybe months has passed and the headache never goes away, he only feels how his body starts feeling so much more... Fragile and delicate, that the guilt has eaten Helsby up alive and he corners him and spills everything, knowing he is going directly against what the group agreed to but not being able to keep it a secret much longer-- or maybe Creature would tell him immediately, once Henry is, for once, alone perhaps days after the initial accident. He cannot see Henry struggle to understand what is going on when he already knows what's happening to Henry, his mind, and his body. He doesn't listen to the plan that Frankenstein and the Lodgers has set up and immediately tells Henry the first moment they are alone. That would certainly be horrifying, I can only imagine how the Lodgers would find Henry after that, once he actually knows and manages to process everything. He would be so mad, not only to have been killed in the first place, but also because he was robbed of an afterlife because the Lodgers were selfish and could not accept the consequences of their actions. He would be mad, he would be so pissed and I have no doubt he might actually be mad at Maijabi too for even agreeing to help Frankenstein and the rest of the Lodgers. That anger would not stay long, though. That anger would soon turn into misery and sadness and paranoia so even as Henry has tried to push Maijabi away, Henry still ends up on his doorstep begging him to help him make sure he is not rotting, because no matter what anyone says, he is sure he can see rotten spots and patches on his skin and he is just so scared and jdhfjsdfdsfsfs... <3

--

Ooooooohhh, I was actually daydreaming about this just this morning! Granted, I woke up at 5 and began to daydream to fall asleep quicker but I still like the thought of O'Leary being suspicious of Robert/Rachel/Jasper/the Lodgers bc he is protective of 'Thomas' and doesn't want anything bad to happen to him and especially with the idea that Henry still has hallucinations and they both think he was abandoned by his family, left to rot at a mental asylum. O'Leary might very well think that it might be Henry's friends and family that dumped him that Henry had 'escaped' the hospital and that's why they knew he was missing since the Asylum itself obviously wouldn't have posted the news... I really liked Jeks idea, okay? Like a lot, I absolutely love it <3

--

Oh, the oldest AC game I played was Unity bc it was free after the Notre Dame fire, and I can confirm, I played 15 min and could not get through it even if i would have wanted to, it absolutely sucks so i have no doubt the older games are just as frustrating <3

BUT!!!! I'M SO GLAD MY CORRUPTION IS SPREADING AND YOU BOUGHT AND PLAYED IT AND ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR!!! Trust me, Syndicate truly is an absolutely amazing game and is definitely one of my top 3 games of all time. I sometimes play it w my friend watching me play and trust me, I know that rage of trying to do smt but the character does smt else... or you try to do smt but the game doesn't react and you miss your chance... Oh well, still a wonderful game <3

My friend loves to play as Evie as well but I'm definitely playing Jacob every chance I get and I honestly get a lil pissy when I have to play as Evie bc I always prefer to play male characters, plus, I just like Jacob better bc he is a sweetheart. He is also canonically bisexual as hell!!! Have you met Abberline yet? The police officer? Him and Jacob together is one of my fave ships for the game. I also bought the ultimate/golden/whatever name it was edition so I had a bunch of extra outfits, I love the sherlock holmes outfit for Jacob but my friend keeps bullying me for it </3

Honestly? The time difference is the bane of my entire idea for the au bc if it's during their time Henry hasn't even graduated yet, and definitely not well-known enough for them to actively meet for whatever reason, and if you use the timeline for the jack the ripper dlc (in 1888) a lot of... Less than pleasant things happen so it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for a crossover to happen at that point but maybe it's just bc im a pussy and refuse to play the dlc. Rn, while imagining the au, I just imagine the 1868 timeline to be the same as the TGS timeline. I like to imagine the Frye Twins hearing about Henry and the Society and promptly breaking into his office to ask him to make poison and stuff for them. I also have a feeling that Jacob would flirt wildly with Henry and that Henry would be less-than-amused. It would also be a very fun thing with the fact that there would be two Henrys, with TGS Henry Jekyll and AC Syndicate Henry Green, soo... XD

[fukurodaze]

can i have (timeskip?) kuroo with a fem! s/o who is a sophisticated introvert that intimidates people because she doesn't smile or talk much but when she's with friends she's actually really nice, funny and outgoing, and she has really good fashion sense? (i'm sorry if this is too specific lmao you can ignore this i'm just yearning for kuroo HAHAHAHA)

this is so funny because this dynamic is literally THE cutest

so you know how kuroo works in pr right so this is The Office Romance Of The Century

the meeting <3

so kuroo works on the ninth floor and you work on the twentieth floor

though you guys work in different departments, you guys are both around the same age so you guys kind of have the same workloads because yall are still starting

different departments eventually do have different schedules, but as newbies you guys kind of follow one (1) basic timetable that is really just 9 to 5

one thing you never expected about the office: good ass food.... like you thought the bread at your school canteen was good? wait till you find the sandwiches on the fourth floor

and since you quite literally have no friends in this big ass building and there aren’t many co-workers who are your age you kind of hold onto the nice yakiniku sandwiches on the fourth floor

it gets rough in a new workplace for the first time ://

so the sandwiches become your routine - around 5-6pm, you’re coming down a whole sixteen floors otw home but also to get that nice thick yakiniku sandwich

guess who else comes? 

YA GUESSED IT!! UR FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE KUROO TETSUROU!!!

despite telling himself that he’s really easing into the work life well because his senpais tell him he’s smart, he really doesn’t know anyone

he also finds it weird asking his co-workers to drink as he feels like they should be the ones inviting him so he ends up just chillin it out with some surprisingly good sandwiches downstairs

he likes the chicken ones bc they’re just so nice n crispy yay

he kinda feels shit about it sometimes but thats just how it is huh... corporate work... no friends... and all the rest of his friends r like in other places... yeah

ay but at least he finds this cute girl ordering the same thing over and over again at the same time he’s there

he ignores it at first but you know the saying that the more you see someone the more likely they become more attractive in your eyes?

yeah... that’s kuroo @ u...

and usually he’s doesn’t really pay no mind to people who just do their own business

but your fits r just too cool for this workplace... like mans has been coming to work with suits and youre out here with some combo streetwear power suit... sometimes u wear the highest heels and sometimes you wear the chunkiest sneakers but still manage to look so sleek n sophisticated like 24/7

could it be... he finds you... attractive??? even though you don’t smile much?

kuroo doesn’t stall, so he just goes “i like your style”

my my... you love hearing that dont’cha

but u were like “thanks” 😐

he’s like sheesh

and as he’s about to leave you ask, “what department do you work in?”

kuroo does a double take and is like “um... PR...?” he literally looks over his shoulder to see if you’re talking to anyone else because yo... is this you showing interest???

spoiler alert this is the introduction to his chapter in your love life <3

look it’s not hard for kuroo to get along with quieter people because he used to be siiiiilent, and he’s also grown up with kenma, who was much more introverted throughout middle school and high school

god, you felt so comfortable

and he was SO hot.... WTF

but yeah you’re always like 😐 but make it chic because your fits r fire and your eyeliner SLAYS

this may or may not have turned into a little date at the bar nearby

yes the sandwiches are good but you know what’s even better? drinking some good food in tokyo as Official Employees of the Japanese Volleyball Association

this night was pretty flirty, what can u expect... compliment here, hand brush there, cute laughs n chuckles everywhere

hahaha when kuroo saw you laugh and get super talkative... is that a turn on or what... youre also like funny too??? oh cmon...

safe to say you said yes when he asked you out again, and he swears he would do anything to see you laugh again 🥰

and yes, he does see that laugh again. a lot of times, actually.

the relationship <3

first off: he likes seeing u all professional... good food 

second: him in a suit??? yessir. him making connections??? YESSIR

you guys end up hanging around a lot with each other at the office even when you’re busy. and yknow, since it’s the honeymoon phase, might as well sneak a kiss. or a lot of kisses.

people get so surprised when this happens at first, since theyre like... why r they both disappearing 24/7... they cant be going together bc hes... kuroo... and you’re... you... aren’t you guys are supposed to be DIFFERENT??

he always goes heart eyes for u even though it seems like you’re always shooting daggers at him from everyone else’s pov

eventually, as you two get more comfy with each other and spend more time, you find yourself at his place like 4 days out of 7... his place is closer to the office anyways so it’s just convenient especially when you’re busy with your department when kuroo isn’t, and it demands later nights and earlier mornings

when BOTH of you are busy... expect stress makeouts in the kitchen

the way yall would shower together not because of sexy vibes but because yall both overslept and literally have no time 😭

but that doesn’t mean yall dont enjoy it!! u think he’s hot, he thinks you’re hot, works well (you two still end up arriving late)

eventually people see how you guys walk to work together in the mornings a lot... and go home together a lot... and drink at bars together...

and they’re like holy fuck how did kuroo snatch her... like other than the fact that he’s hot... she literally doesn’t smile and is so scary

the sandwiches on floor four have become breakfast burritos because none of yall go home at 5 all that often anymore

but on a lucky day where destiny aligns itself with the stars and time and the volleyball league you’re lucky to get a yakiniku. or maybe chicken.

you guys influence each other, and it’s so funny seeing kuroo come in with some more colourful suits after you told him to experiment with colour

the other people at work r like: kuroo ur gf controls u

kuroo’s like yeah she’s like powerful huh 😏

you kind of laugh it all off, since now you have your own friends at work too, and so does kuroo

they surprisingly ask a lot about your relationship... and though you would like to brag about your very good boyfriend, you keep it pretty vague

you do like to talk about important days though, like anniversaries

but being with kuroo has genuinely made you more comfy in the workplace even though yall are in different departments

you love hearing kuroo’s stories about his co-workers, and you wondered if you could kind of have those kinds of relationships with your co-workers too

your closest co-workers have always been kind to you, albeit intimidated at first

but they’re great shopping buddies, great listeners, and great gossips <3

you normally wouldn’t care about gossip but it’s fun to laugh about sometimes when you’re getting ready for bed and he’s like “by the way... have you heard of [person A] doing ... ” on call

and you’re like oh yeah, actually i have

even he’s surprised at first because you seem like that cool introverted employee but you do have your fits of laughter and bouts of humour

you guys become more comfy with your jobs, and before you know it, a year has passed

you’ve moved in lol

kuroo’s just 100% heart eyes for u pls

the vibes you guys are as a couple?? immaculate. everyone looks at yall like holy fuck. opposites attract and it’s HOT

and it’s so good because you guys know each other so well, from personalities to bodies to work

when you’re on a low, he holds you close and tells you such sweet things, but makes sure to give you space

when he’s on a low, you make sure to talk to him to take him off of his thoughts, to reassure him

kuroo kind of realises he’s actually... like REALLY in love with you and it just hits him a week before christmas when he looks into his cupboard and hates how it’s so messy but ends up swooning 😭

so the next day LIKE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING he’s like “hi. im renting a car. and i am in love with you. do you wanna go on a christmas trip together?”

you don’t even react when he says that... it’s just two seconds of silence and then “okay. i’m in love with you too.”

he’s like “cool. cool.”

proceeds to smother ur lipstick when he kisses u right after work... 

but u love him anyway 🥰

and in that trip... just you two in a strange place together... with nobody else...

he sees you with him for a long, long time

and honestly, with the feeling of his hand in yours, you don’t think you’ll be going anywhere either.

[cantdanceflynn]

phineas and ferb for the ask game

Favorite character: CANDACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK I'VE MADE THIS VERY CLEAR AT THIS POINT LOL

Least Favorite character: I DON'T RLY HAVE ANY CHARACTERS I DONT LIKE BUT IG ALBERT? IF I HAVE TO CHOOSE.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

1: CANDEREMY(VERY OBVIOUSLY. THEYRE JUST THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO FUCKIN MUCH BELOVEDS)

2: PROBABLY PHINABELLA. I THINK THE PROPORTION OF FANWORKS FOR THEM IS FUNNY BUT ALSO LIKE. THE THEM. THEY'RE SO COOL

3: BUFERBJEET/BUJEET: I USUALLY HAVE BUFERBJEET BC POLY BELOVED AND ITS RLY FUNNY MOST OF THE TIME BUT I ALSO DEFAULT TO BUJEET DEPENDING ON THE AU

4: UHHHHHHHHHHHHH BALJEET AND GINGER MAYBE????? I USUALLY HAVE A WHOLE POLYCULE GOING ON IF I'M GOING IN THIS FAR BUT THEY'RE RLY CUTE.

5: VANESSA AND MONTY OR STACY AND COLTRANE. I CAN'T PICK.

I COULD HAVE PROBABLY PUT IN SOME MORE NOT SO CANON ONES BUT LIKE. I LIKE THE VAST MAJORITY OF WHAT CANON GAVE US.

Character I find most attractive: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A BIG PART OF MY FIRST GAY AWAKENING WAS 2ND DIMENSION CANDACE. SO HER. AND YOU MAY POINT OUT THAT I HADN'T WATCHED PNF FOR THE FIRST TIME BY THE TIME I KNEW I WAS BI. HOWEVER, THE 2ND DIMENSION NOVELIZATION AND SMALL VERSION OF THE MOVIE WITH A FILTER OVER IT AND A THIRD OF THE SCENES CUT OUT ON YOUTUBE DID WONDERS FOR MY 10 YEAR OLD SELF.

Character I would marry: UHHHHHHHHHHHHH PROBABLY STACY. NO REAL EXPLANATION.

Character I would be best friends with: WDYM IM NOT ALREADY BEST FRIENDS WITH THE WHOLE CAST? BUT CANDACE. WE'RE VERY SIMILAR AND ID PROBABLY END UP ON HER SIDE OR DRAGGING HER INTO THE WHOLE THING OFTEN ENOUGH THAT WE'D BE GOOD FRIENDS.

a random thought: DO YOU THINK PEOPLE KNOW THAT LIKE. CANDACE CAN STILL HAVE HALLUCINATIONS WITHOUT IT BEING A WHOLE ANGSTY "PHINEAS AND FERB ARE ACTUALLY DEAD AND SHES HALLUCINATING THEM"? I KNOW THAT I THINK THE TALKING ZEBRA IS ACTUALLY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION SO LIKE I SHOULDN'T GET TO TALK, BUT LIKE. ONE OF MY FAVORITE HCS FOR HER I DON'T TALK ABOUT ANYWHERE AS MUCH AS I SHOULD IS THAT SHE HAS AUDITORY HALLUCINATIONS SOMETIMES. USUALLY WHEN SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT THEM BUILDING SOMETHING.

An unpopular opinion: I THINK IT'S KINDA WEIRD THAT YOU BASICALLY CAN'T THROW A ROCK AROUND HERE WITHOUT HITTING A PHINABELLA FANKID BUT I CAN BARELY FIND ACTUAL CONTENT WITH AMANDA, FRED AND XAVIER??? YOU KNOW, CANDACE'S CANONICAL KIDS?????????????? LIKE NOTHING AT ALL AGAINST FANKIDS, I LOVE THEM, I HAVE THEM, BUT WHY IS THERE NOTHING FOR THEM.

My Canon OTP: CANDEREMY. I THINK I HAVE MADE THIS CLEARER THEN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD LOL I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH I THINK THEY'RE THE ACTUAL BEST AND DESERVE THE WHOLE WORLD.

My Non-canon OTP: IG BUFERBJEET! I DO LOVE THEM LOL THE AUTISTIC FLAVORS ARE VERY STRONG. THEY'D HAVE BOTH THAT NEIGHBORHOOD REPUTATION AND THE BEST REPUTATION WITH ANYONE WHOS KNOWN THEM FOR FIVE MINUTES. AND THEN THE WORST AND BEST REPUTATION WITH ANYONE WHO KNOWS THEM LONGER THEN THAT.

Most Badass Character: ISABELLA, CANDACE, AND ANY VERSION OF THEM. FERB AND PERRY ARE ALSO SUPER DUPER HIGH UP THERE.

Most Epic Villain: PROBABLY 2ND DIMENSION DOOF????? IDK ITS NOT LIKE RODNEY COUNTS AS EPIC IN THE SLIGHTEST.

Pairing I am not a fan of: *POINTS AT PERRYSHMIRTZ AND FERBNESSA* LIKE WHY. I KNOW WHY AND I THINK IT'S STUPID AND THEM NOT THINKING THINGS OUT WITH CERTAIN BITS WHICH JUST MADE IT HORRIBLE FEELING BUT WHY???????????????

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY ONES I'D HERE, BUT I GUESS CARL??? LIKE. I LOVED THE WHOLE EVIL CARL THING FROM WHERE'S PERRY AND HOW THEY CARRIED THROUGH WITH THAT. BUT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A BIT MORE CONSISTENT WITH HIM DEMANDING MORE RESPECT IG IS MY THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER.

Favorite Friendship: YOU EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE?????????? THIS SHOW IS LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP?!?!!?!?!!?!! PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE CAST AND THEIR FRIENDSHIPS WITH ONE ANOTHER!!!!!!!!!!! THE WHOLE FREAKING CAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Character I most identify with: CANDACE. WE'RE LITERALLY ALMOST THE EXACT SAME IN SO MANY REGARDS SHE'S JUST A COOLER VERSION OF ME.

Character I wish I could be: ALSO CANDACE. LIKE TO A WHOLE "I WILL LITERALLY BECOME HER" POINT. I HAVE PERMISSION TO BLEACH AND DYE MY HAIR FOR HALLOWEEN AS HER AND EVERYTHING AND I WILL BE DOING IT!!!!!!!!!! LIKE. CONSIDERING A NAME CHANGE AND EVERYTHING.

AND YES, I KNOW IT'S A MIXTURE OF MY OWN IDENTITY PROBLEMS AND WANTING TO FEEL LIKE AN ACTUAL TEEN AND STUPIDLY INSTINCTUAL AND IM PROBABLY NOT GONNA ACTUALLY TRY TO BECOME HER IN REAL LIFE BUT I MIGHT

[agentsoftie]

stitches and ditches

summary: y/n and spencer get in a fight. due to the fight y/n goes to the hospital where she gets taken. spencer has to find her before it’s to late

a/n: plot holes. plot holes everywhere. so i’m sorry for that, super sorry. also like i don’t really know how to write fight scene and stuff ig so sorry if it sucks. and i skipped like 3 classes for this, so don’t let it flop

warnings: fight, angry spencer, torture, a case, violent spencer (idrk what to call it) and whole lotta angst. i happy ending though! kinda, idrk

word count & pairing: spencer x (fem) reader & 4.1k

remember to like and reblog!!

It all started the day he came home from work. This was one of the longest trips he’d been on so you decided to make him his favorite. Pumpkin Pie. And god knows how hard it is to make pie, but you did it anyways, for him. It wasn't too late when he got home but It wasn't too early either. More like the time right after dinner and just before dessert. You had just got the pie out of the oven when you heard the door open and someone walk in.

“Spencer! Finally you’re home! How are you!” You said while he put his bag away. He didn't turn to look at you yet which was kinda weird since the first thing he does when he gets home is kiss you right on the lips. “Fine,” He mumbled while sitting down at the table still not looking at you. “Spencer, come on what’s wrong?” You asked while grabbing his hands, but he immediately retracted. Which made sense because of who he was, but you’re not gonna admit that it didn't hurt. “Nothing Y/N.”

You knew that something was wrong, and it didn't take a profiler to see that. Everything about him was just off. “Come on, it's me. You can tell me anything.”

“Y/N.” Spencer said in a deep tone. You’d never heard him like this or seen in that sense. He was always happy to see you, to be with you. And were with his too. “Spencer no, come on. I can see that you’re clearly not fine. So come on, open up.”

“Y/N I said I’m fine!” You were appalled. He had never raised his voice at you, but it was bound to happen one day, you just. You just were shocked. “Spencer,” You said in a low voice completely contradicting his loud yell. “What!”

“Spencer calm down!” You say yelling at him. Although you realized that yelling at someone to calm down probably wasn't the best way to do it.

“No Y/N, you need to just stop and shut up!” Shut up. That’s the first time he’s ever told you to shut up. Infact, you think it's the first time he’s ever told anyone to shut up.

“Spencer just talk to me! It’s not that fucking hard!”

“No Y/N it is. It's tremendously hard and you just wouldn't understand.”

“Just tell me. And I'll see if I understand. But don't just gatekeep your emotions and feelings.”

“Y/N I said no! Why cant you listen to simple fucking directions! It’s not that fucking hard!” Each and every time he yelled at you, it's like your heart physically broke. And you could feel it breaking. But how do you tell him to stop? All you wanted was to know how he feels. Was that really so hard?

“Spencer why the hell are you acting like this! I understand that your job is hard but that doesn't mean that you can pour all your anger out on me! And if you are gonna do that, you can at least do the kind thing and share how you feel! And what's wrong! I mean, is that really so much to ask!”

“Oh really, that's how you wanna play this! You think this is just a little game don’t you!”

“Game Spencer! You think I play this as a game! Well this game is my life!” You were drop dead angered at this point. “What in the world gives you the right to act like this! Please, explain!” All he does is scoff at you. “I'm not joking Spencer! Why the hell are you acting like this! You've changed!”

“Oh I’ve changed! Y/N you've changed! You're always trying to kiss up my ass! I mean jesus! All you want is money! Like god!”

“Oh I want money! Spencer! I don't need your pathetic money! It may not have dawned on you since you couldn't bother to care, but I make a good amount of money. Yeah, you’re not the only one who paid for this place. So stop acting like you are.”

“Oh wow! Haha, you sick son of a,” He stopped immediately after realizing what exactly he was saying.

“Say it Spencer! Finish the goddamn sentence!”

“Y/N, you know I wont.” He says in a shift of tone. Still equally as affecting though.

“Why? Huh? You've already said so much, just wrap it up with a nice little red bow on top!”

“Y/N, stop,” He said, his tone getting more and more demeaning by the second.

“Do it Spencer! Do it!”

“Goddamn it Y/N I said stop!!” He yelled before throwing a glass at the wall behind you. You both immediately shut up, as trying to process what just had happened. Did he actually just try to hurt you? No, Spencer would never do that. Would he? You touched the back of your head and felt blood on your ear. You looked down at the blood and Spencer walked towards you but all you did was pull back from his touch.

“Don’t,” You mutter in fright. Putting your hands up against his chest, but not touching. His eyes looked at you as if they were trying to say something but just couldn't. You grabbed your purse, keys, phone, a coat, and slipped into some shoes. “Y/N, where are you going?”

“To the clinic or hospital or whichevers open right now. To get this checked out and stitched up.”

“Y/N, come on just stay here. I can stitch it up. I can do everything. Just dont leave. Im sorry, okay. I- I don't know why I did that. I promise I didn't mean too.” He begs and pleads but you just can't say with him tonight. No, not tonight. Tonight was too bad, tonight was a dent that was not going to be fixed.

“I just can't, Spencer. Okay, not tonight. There’s some pasta in the fridge, and I love you… I guess.” And with that you got in your car and left leaving Spencer to just sit in his own tears. He just sat at the table thinking of everything he did wrong. Everything that went wrong. And the worst part is that absolutely nothing wrong or bad happened at work today. He was just exhausted, that's all. And instead of telling his girlfriend, he started a fight. And he knew that you were in the right, for everything.

“Hi, Y/N. I’m Dr. Michael Gray. And it looks like something happened to your ear.” He says while standing at the door.

“Oh hi! Haha. And um… I thought that nurses were supposed to, you know, stitch up stitches.”

“Oh yeah, well they are. But you’re just so gorgeous I pass up the offer.”

“Oh, haha,” You say, not knowing how to feel. Although there was one thing you knew, and that was that this was uncomfortable as hell. “Well, I mean I do have a boyfriend.” You said just so he wouldn't try to make any moves.

“Oh well hey! Do you have any siblings or friends? I'm fine with absolutely anyone and everyone.” He says while disinfecting your ear and pulling the glass out.

“You’re Pan?” You ask to distract yourself from the pain.

“Yeah. You’re not gonna request another doctor now right?” He asks while carefully taking out the glass and putting it on a white napkin in front of you. That was a big piece.

“No, of course not!” You say in offence. ��How could you ever think that.”

“It happens a lot with people. Especially the pretty ones. They automatically get turned off when I tell them I like everyone. I don't care about your gender, just your personality and how you treat me.”

“Oh well I would never. And it sucks that-that happens.”

“Yeah. Okay, so here comes the fun part. Hey, how did you even get these stitches? Or, why do you need them? Like how did you get to this point?” He says while slowly stitching up your ear.

“Ha, I get it. You’re just fine. And all of this is due to my boyfriend.” You say in pain.

“Wait,” He stops doing what he’s doing and just stands there. “Your boyfriend did this?”

“Yes. And before you say anything else, I am not in an abusive relationship. Okay, he just had a bad day and I guess I made it even worse. And trust me, he didn't mean to do it.” You say as he finishes stitching up your ear.

“Do you have a place to stay tonight?” He asks while pouring out a liquid into a small cup.

“No.”

“Then, come stay with me. At my place. And here drink this, it’ll help with the pain. A lot.”

He says while giving you a small cup filled with what looked like to be a crushed up powder poorly mixed in with water. Or whatever that the liquid was.

“Oh no. We just met.” You spoke before drinking it.

“You got anywhere better to stay? Plus my shift ends in 5 so it would be the most practical decision.”

You knew that it was wrong. After everything that Spencer had told you. But for some reason you still went. Even though you knew you should have gone back home to Spencer. And god knows what he was doing right now. But you couldn't just let your pride fall and go home. That would be pathetic. “You know what, okay! I mean what the hell! You seem nice and I’m not in the mood to face him again. Or at least for now.”

“Sweet!”

“Just one question… are you gonna kill me?” It was a stupid question to ask, you know. But after everything that Spencer and his family have been through. And with what happened to haley, you just couldn't help but to ask.

“No Y/N, I’m not gonna kill you. Now come on, let me get logged out and let's leave this place. Oh and Y/N, you can call me Michael.” He says while taking off his lab coat.

“Okay Michael.”

He brought you into his car and the drive to his place felt like hours. Although you really couldn't remember most of it since you passed out a quarter way through. The last thing you do remember is him putting his hand on your thigh and looking over at you with a smirk.

It had been 3 days. 3 days since you left to get your ear stitched up. 3 days since Spencer had last seen you. Since you had seen him. Or any of your friends. 3 days since you left your life. In those 3 days, Spencer completely lost himself. All of the books were on the floor. The bed was an absolute mess. And the kitchen was left just as it was the night it happened. He, himself, was a mess. His hair had not been brushed. He was still wearing the same clothes. And he’d been surviving on coffee and granola bars.

“Guys, we got a new case, come on.” Penelope chimes as they all do paper work. Spencer can’t help but look at his phone every 2 minutes just waiting for a text or call or any sign of life and/or love.

“What’s wrong pretty boy?” Derek asks.

“Yeah, you've been acting tense lately.” JJ adds.

“Nothing, It’s just Y/N,” He gruffs.

“Do I smell relationship problems,” Derek says jokingly.

“Derek!” JJ scoffs. “What's wrong Spence?”

“Nothing I just… Look, something happened, and now she’s not answering any of my text and calls, and I'm starting to get worried. That's really all there is.”

“Well what happened exactly? To you know, make her leave I guess.” JJ asks.

“Um, we had an argument. A pretty bad one. I came home after the case. The Checkersfeild one. And um, I was just tired. And instead of telling her that, I got super mad and said some things that I regret. And also did a thing I regret. A lot. And I would explain everything to her if she answered whenever I called or texted but she didn't.”

“How bad was the argument?” She asks again.

“Pretty bad. It was our first, but it was really bad. Just words coming and pouring out.”

“Spencer, how long have you and Y/N been dating?” Derek asks in shock at the fact that he just said ‘first argument’.

“2 and half years now.”

“And you two have never fought? What's this secret that you're keeping from me.”

“Well you know, we had our mutual disagreements. And sometimes we argued a little but it was small and it lasted for like an hour. And right after we would apologize and everything would be okay. It would all be fine.” Spencer said, his voice got longer and slower as the words went on.

“Wow, um… Spencer. You really love her, don't you.” Derek asked.

“Yeah. I really do, don't I.” Spencer says while walking into the briefing room.

As everyone sat down Derek couldn’t help but to keep looking at him. He knew that Spencer was hiding something, he just didn't know what. Or how to figure it out.

“Okay everyone this is Isabella Stines. The latest victim of our new unsub. Police are calling him The Ditcher. Since, as you can see, they leave the body in ditches after what looks like hours and hours of tourture. 5 other people were found too. First was Mindy Kindle, then Jake Johnson. Next, Rosé Hinnings, then we have Jennifer Gordon. And last, and hopefully least, Kross Noing. The ‘K’ is silent.” Penelope says while everyone looks down at the picture of the crime scenes and blood smeared across the screen.

“Do they have anything in common?” Spencer asks just before his phone starts ringing. He immediately picks it up even though the rule that Hotch made up states that you can't answer phones when you’re in the briefing room getting briefed for a new case. “Y/N.” Spencer asks, not knowing who this was since he didn't have enough time to look at the caller ID. “No, this is Sharron Richard, her boss. She hasn't shown up to work for these past days and we’re getting worried. She has a case coming up and this is a big one for her. We’ve been trying to contact her, but she’s not answering. So we called you since she left you as her backup or whatever you call it. So, have you seen or heard from her?” Sharron asks over the phone.

“Um no I- I haven't.” Spencer mutters through the phone so no one except Sharron could hear it. Although that failed miserably.

“Oh, okay. Well if you hear from her, or see her anytime soon. Please tell her to contact us.” And with that the phone was hung up.

“Pretty boy what was that?” Derek asks.

“Uh, nothing. Just a call from Y/N’s work. Apparently she’s been missing. Although you already knew that so…” Spencer said while looking down at his phone more time, then putting it away. Everyone just gave him this weird look of dissatisfaction.

“Okay anyway, yes there are some similarities. And luckily, all of these are taking place here so you guys won't be flying out anywhere! Or wait, isn't that a bad thing?” Penelope exclaims.

“Garcia,” Hotch says in his natural stearn and damning voice.

“Sorry boss. Anyways, The ME found traces of propofol and thiopental in each of their systems. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically a drug that doctors use to get patients into a coma before surgeries and/or if it's needed medically.”

“So only doctors would have access to it?” Emily asks.

“Over here in Virginia, yes. There are no stores that sell it here due to too many people ODing.” Spencer answers. “Garcia, did the ME find any signs of sexual assault?”

“No they did not. Looks like it was just tourture.”

“Hey Garcia, did they have anything else in common?” Emily asks.

“Yeah check this out. Each of the victims have a medical visit to “The Charleston Hospital” the night before dying. Or getting captured at least. And, it looks like each of them came in after what looked like an action of abuse. It was hard to spot but luckily the bill got it.”

“Okay, thank you Garcia. JJ, Prentiss, come with me. We’re going to the crime scene. Rossi, you go to the ME. Morgan and Reid stay here and try to find some things and connections. And Garcia, you just do what you do best.” Hotch says while getting up.

Everyone was gone from the briefing room except for Garcia who was taking down some files, and Spencer, who was looking at the file. But one part in particular. Could it have happened. No, it couldnr have. Could it?

“Hey Garcia?” He asked.

“Yes sugar,”

“Can I get something?”

“Why of course, what is it that you need?”

“Um, I need records and security tapes.”

“Come with me my sweet child.” She says while walking out the door and into her office, or as she likes to call it, batcave.

“Okay here are the records for-” She got cut off by a frantic Spencer.

“No, not for them, but for Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Your girlfriend?” She asks.

“Yes, my girlfriend.”

“Um, okay. So yeah. It looks like she went to Charleston um about 3 nights ago for some stitches.”

“And the security tapes. From that night. Can you see where she went? Or if she got in her car?”

“You doubt me. Don't doubt me. Okay so here. It looks like she got into this car. But, it looks like there is someone with her. Im sorry Spencer.”

“Don't be. Just, what’s the licence plate numbers?”

“Um, 56HI90ZC3. Spencer, if you want, we can talk about it.” She says in a soft tone. Thinking that his girlfriend would be cheating on one of her friends.

“No not now. I just need you to track that car, can you do that?”

“Done. Okay so it looks like the last time the car was spotted was here, Cherry Ann Avenue. It looks like they took a turn in this field, and that's all.”

“Great, I need you to contact Hotch and Rossi, and tell them that we got the guy.”

“On it. But, hey do you wanna talk about it?”

“Garcia, we don't have any time. Someone I love is in danger and I don't wanna waste a single second.”

You woke up to the smell of blood, the sound of crickets, and a gut wrenching pain, everywhere across your body.. Crickets everywhere. You looked down to see many cuts. Cuts all over your body, everywhere. And in one place, you swear you saw a knife. What had happened? How long was I out? You tried to remember everything but all you could was getting in a fight with Spencer and then getting in a car with a doctor. Or a nurse, or whoever they were.

“Ah, so you're up.” Michael said as he walked up from the shadows behind him.

“Who are you and what do you want?” You say trying your best to back away from him but something ties you down.

“You forgot who I am already. I must have added a little more meds in there for you. Huh, well that's alright. I’m Michael. More professionally, Dr. Michael Gray.” You just sat there trying to hear him over the intense pain you were in. Almost as if you'd been stabbed 100 times, maybe you had, who knows. “You see, your boyfriend was being the abusive piece of shit he is and so now I'm helping you. Helping you get better.”

“You sick bastard. You're not helping me, you're causing me pain.” You say as he gets closer and closer to your face.

“Shut up!!” He says as he slaps you. “I know what I’m doing!! Do you know how many people I’ve put out of misery!!” He yells in your face. You can feel the spit reaching your face as he does this.

“You’ve hurt those people. You've put them through pain. So much pain. Instead, you could have helped them. But this, this is not help, no this is torture, abuse, assult.”

“I SAID SHUT UP!!” He yelled while throwing the metal tray on the table across the room. “YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE WHAT YOU'RE PATHETIC LITTLE BOYFRIEND DID TO YOU WAS GOOD. YOU DESERVED IT!! Don't deserve me, or my help!”

You were shocked. You were scared. You were terrified. But you didn't want to admit it. And the sad part is, all he truly wanted to do is help you. But just at that moment you heard sirens. Sirens everywhere, and they got louder and louder until you saw the colors. Flashing up against the brown wooden wall and the shag carpeting on the floor.

Suddenly you heard a loud bang, the door had come down. “Michael Gray!” You heard someone yell. “Michael, we know what you've done, and we know that you’re here!”

“No, this can't be happening. No no no no no. NO!” He yelled in panic. The most stupid thing to do when you’re trying to hide.

Suddenly 3 people came rushing to the room. One of them happened to be your boyfriend. Who ran over to you immediately without any hesitation.

“Hey Y/N, it's me, Spencer. You're gonna be okay.” He said while holding you. All you did was smile and nod. You wanted to tell him that you loved him, but you just couldn't. You were so sore and tired. And all you wanted to do was go to sleep. Even though you knew that you shouldn't have since, well, you know. You would probably die. But you just couldn't help it.

You woke to a bright light. Or multiple in this case. Why was everything so white. White hurts people. You felt a tug to your hand as you saw who was holding it, Spencer. He stayed. And for god knows how long. He was asleep, and you didn't want to wake him. Poor boy looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep for the past week or so. You checked the clock as the time read 10:37pm. Perfect, just the most perfect time to wake up. You tried to grab your phone, but you had to stretch to get it, and you were not doing that.

Spencer, although woke up from your failed attempt at grabbing your phone. “Y/N, you're awake.” He said dreamily with his eyes half shut.

“Hi Spencer.”

Once he truly realized what was going on, he jumped up from his seat and gripped your hand tighter than before. “Y/N baby, how are you? Are you okay?”

“Well, truthfully. No, I am not okay. I mean, I just got tortured for god know how long, and I think I’ve been asleep. But again, I don't know how long. And oh god, I had my case that I’ve been working on for the past 6 months that was supposed to happen and I missed it!” You say as if the world was ending. He just looks at you. No emotion, just stares.

“Y/N it’s okay. I sorted that out, don't worry. You’re just okay. Why did you go with them anyway?”

You don't know how to respond. Do you tell him everything, or tell him nothing at all. Do you leave out some bits? No, he deserves to hear the whole truth. “Spencer, after what happened that night, I was terrified of what was gonna happen if I came home. And my friends were out of town. So I really had no choice.”

“Y/N,” His voice cracked. “I am so sorry for what I did to you. I truly didn't mean to do that, it just happened. And I don't know why.”

“I know.”

“You probably hate me, and I get that. I would hate me too if I were you. I mean, look at what I put you through. I’m so sorry. And I understand if you wanna breakup and stuff. But, I just wanna say that I love you. I truly do.”

“Spencer,” You say while looking down at your hands, then back up. “I don't hate you. I could never hate you. Not after everything you’ve done for me. I love you, I do.”

He just smiled and kissed you on your forehead. “Y/N, you wanna about it?”

“Talk about what?”

“Everything that happened today.”

“Sure, but how about we talk about everything that happened the other day. I mean, I made you pie Spencer, Pie!” He just sat there while you were laughing looking into your eyes. “I love you.” He said. You just smiled and held his hand, “I love you too.”

tagging: @criminalmindsmoodrn, @marshmallowtraver, @ghostly-angelic, and @himarisolace

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Hi, I know that some of us thought 2020 was weird for jikook but when we had the behind scenes they seemed okay etc but before 2020, like during 2017 and 2018, even when i didnt intend to ship them or anything i always felt a certain something between them and lately i feel that spark of something is no longer there. I dont think they are distant or not on speaking terms but just not close in that whatever way. I wanted to ask if you still feel something deeper in their interactions or do you see them similar to other friendships in the group?

Hellooo. Yeah... I know. I don't see that spark they had in 2018 or 2019 anymore either. I actually stopped seeing it around November 2019. Those were dark times for me no joke lol.

When I started liking BTS, it was so solely because of their music. I didn't know anything about the members and like you said, there was something about them even if I didn't think they were together. 2017, 2018 jikook were so exciting to me, they were electric together. It's hard for me to feel something with celebrities in general, but Jimin and Jungkook next to each other or even in the same room dancing were electric. Their interactions and chemistry kept and kept on building up and by the end of the Love Yourself tour I was kinda positive they were fooling around. Around the end of the tour, I think it was after Jimin's birthday in 2018, I remember tweeting something like "Jungkook has the vibes of a guy who's finally getting laid" and like two concerts later I went back to that tweet and replied to myself "yeah he and Jimin are getting it on" lmao (or something like that, because I said all that in Spanish slang and there's no exact translation). I just would never be able to explain the energy around them back then, you probably know what I mean if you were there.

2019 was so special too, and if during late 2018 I believed they were just testing the waters and hooking up, by 2019 it was so clear to me that they were in love. That only lasted till November 2019 tho.

2020 I saw nothing of that, literally nothing. No attraction and no affection, except for the things Jimin said first half of the year about them living together and then in October when JK went to Jimin who was crying during the concert. I actually started to wonder if maybe they had decided to not take their relationship anywhere, like they just tried it out for a year or so and maybe decided they worked better as friends or something. They wouldn't have been the first couple in history to do so. I know people who were married for 20+ years then got divorced and remarried and are still friends with their exes. Like, I didn't and don't think they are that kind of people but my thoughts are not the truth, especially about people I don't really know, so I always try to consider every possibility, even the ones that might prove me wrong.

For a lot of 2020 and nowadays, I kinda see their interactions are similar to everyone else's, with the exception of those very obvious moments like the hickey or the one where Jimin gets close enough to kiss him, which honestly they kinda make enough difference between jikook and everyone else. I'm sure their relationship is not platonic.

But There used to be such a softness to them, that's something I don't see anymore. That's what I'm missing. I still see glimpses of it now and then but It's very short lived and not as frequent as it used to be. I feel like November 2018 - July 2019 was the time of softness and so so much affection and infatuation. For some people Rose Bowl is their favorite moment, but for me it's moments like these:

I know the last two is from the same moment during a concert, but we've had concerts in 2020 and 2021 so far and they barely looked at each other, so it's like ¿?

This is from 2018 but you get the memo... Jimin rubbing his face on Jungkook's sweaty nape.

It's this type of skinship and emotion that I'm missing and that made me think there was more to their relationship in the first place. It doesn't exactly worry me that it’s not really there anymore, and if they're together maybe they have enough of that at home, but it still makes me feel sad lmao.

So, no. I don’t really feel anything “deeper” about their relationship, not like I felt it years before .

I don't see anything romantic in taekook or other ships but sometimes, like it happened with Jungkook not letting go of Taehyung's hand while he was hugging him during Harry's concert and some jinkook and hopekook interactions, I see in those interactions this softness and affection that I don't really see in jikook anymore.