#i dont really see point in changing his voice actor for fic

[thisisbecausepolyvoreclosed]

Main look for older Jack Darby in Transformers Prime: Legacy, where after a stint as an engineer in the military, he now runs a scrapyard, though he prefers to fix any vehicle that comes his way then scrap it, really. Due to this business, he ended up forming a close friendship with Andrea 'Andy' Hawkins, a girl who in her free time, likes to do mechanics like him but like everyone outside of his family and friends, is unaware of his past with the autobots, at least until the day she and her friends also end up dragged into the autobots business on Earth...

[ashistrashhh]

here are some fic recs!! including sakuatsu, bokuaka, kuroken and matsuhana bc i couldnt help myself

if you want, ask me about a certain ship and ill give you some recs!

-sakuatsu-

Marble and Sandstone by red_camellia

rating: G words: 12,937 chapters: 2/2 

author summary: Miya Atsumu only cares about volleyball and nothing else. That is, until he develops a strange obsession with the marble statue of a young man that seems vaguely familiar in his university's arts department. One day that statue comes alive as the very real Sakusa Kiyoomi, and they are left with the mystery of why Sakusa Kiyoomi was turned into a statue and only came back to life when Atsumu touched him. Their new-found connection and the strange mystery turns Atsumu's life upside down, not least because of his growing feelings for Sakusa.

my notes: this was a rlly cute fic!!! 11/10 would read again!!

let it go (paint my body gold) by lunarism

rating: T words: 3,272 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It becomes a routine for them. Sometimes they go grocery shopping and make dinner together, other times they end up talking until Sakusa feels like his own shower and bed is calling him. Every single time Sakusa gets home, shrugs his coat off, balls it up, and proceeds to scream profusely into the fabric for a few minutes.

my notes: pining!!! sakusa!!! also casual painter!atsumu!!! and they paint together!!!

craft a miracle with these hands, lips, (silence) by chrysanthe (sonderesque)

rating: T words: 4,252 chapters: 1/1

author summary: ‘Someone is here to ruin your night,’ his door tells him. ‘You should let them in.’ “I’M HOMELESS OMI-OMI. HOMELESS,” yells the one here to ruin his night. “LET ME IN.”

(What does Kiyoomi sell his sanctuary for?)

my notes: hnnn rlly fuckin cute,, and domestic,,,,

Clipped To You by littleboat

rating: T words: 8,174 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It starts with Hinata Natsu, of all people.

Well, if Atsumu’s being honest with himself, it started way before that, but he’s not, so that’s besides the point. And thankfully, he’s just petty enough to blame all of his problems on a thirteen year old girl.

or Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed

my notes: minor kagehina, bokuaka // god these fics rlly make me simp for fictional characters even more than i should. but!! sakusa!!! in hairclips!!! and a pining atsumu!!!

learn how to lay me down in something other than danger, other than fury by rosevtea 

words: 34,211 chapters: 1/1

author summary: All of the ways fellow college TA Miya Atsumu reinvents Kiyoomi's definition of normal.

my notes: god i loved this. it’s a fake dating au and like,, even though they’re “dating” sakusa keeps letting his guard down little by little around atsumu and it surprises everyone. komori and akaashi just know  that they’re were genuinely pining for eachother

among probabilities and a thousand fates by aalphard

rating: T words: 15,675 chapters: 1/1

author summary: prompt fill for “in a world where the red string of fate exists, person a’s finger always twitches when person b, who can see the string, tugs on their string” | or sakusa thought he had a tic and atsumu liked to see his confused expression when it started to happen exclusively when he was around.

my notes: i! loved! it!! so basically atsumu and osamu have the rare gift of seeing the red string of fate, so they know its real but sakusa, like most other people dont believe it exists. so atsumu gives sakusa a (kinda) hard time. rlly cute!! i love soulmate aus!

-bokuaka- 

love in the time of wifi by dalyeau

rating: G words: 4,177 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Akaashi is coming to terms with the fact that he might be romantically interested in his volleyball captain. Hence, doing what any sixteen year old with a problem should do. He asks about it online.

my notes: really cute fic about akaashi asking what he should do about his crush on a site similar to reddit. its kinda a “i didnt know it was you” kind of fic and it made me happy

steam by orphan_account

rating: E words: 8,474 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 bokuto: why is he so hot bokuto: why am i so gay kuroo: LMAO you mean your vice captain right bokuto: yeah

The coach blew the whistle for practice to begin, and Bokuto drummed his fingers against the bleachers, awaiting Kuroo’s reply. He was about to walk away, when his phone buzzed in his hand.kuroo: i got this bro bokuto: what bokuto: wtf does that mean

Bokuto started to panic.

my notes: explicit!!! but really wholesome. kuroo is honestly the best wingman. i also think this is my favourite bokuaka smutfic?? 

just to miss the sun by rosevtea

rating: T words: 15,126 chapters:1/1

author summary: Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

my notes: akaashi is a booktuber and bokuto crashes one of his streams. fans begin to speculate. rlly fluffy and can u tell i like bokuaka

brain fish by iceblinks

rating: T words: 12,026 chapters: 6/6

author summary: Akaashi wakes up to a string of texts from an unknown number. 

my notes: i love text fics and i love wrong number aus so u can tell how much i loved this. really fluffy and i come back to it time to time

-kuroken-

us three by honey_s

rating: T words: 5,137 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo’s gaze flits over to the utensil. His eyes bulge out of his skull. “Wh—is that a meat hammer? Put it back!” Akaashi’s head recoils back in confusion. “I don’t understand the problem here.” “Why on Earth have you got a fucking meat hammer? We aren’t going to kill somebody!” “Well,” Akaashi begins, clearly taken aback, “I apologise for assuming. I had heard Kenma-san had been hurt in school and after getting a message from both of you to meet late at night, I merely filled in the blanks and assumed we were going to beat someone up, for lack of a better term.” “Not literally! I meant metaphorically, or figuratively, or something!” “Idiomically?” “That isn’t a word, Bokuto-san.” “Jesus Christ,” Kuroo groans, dropping his head into his hands. “We're going to jail."

my notes: bokuaka and kuroo are ready to beat someone up for kenma!! and we stan!! 

Cherry Pits and Cat Tattoos by strawberryriver

rating: G words: 6,141 chapters: 1/1

author summary: 

Kuroo has been in communication with his soulmate ever since they were kids. They've known each other for so long that he never really worried about when or how he would meet them. At least, not until he meets the roommate of Bokuto's soulmate.Soulmate AU in which things written on your skin show up on your soulmate. Companion piece/same AU as Serendipty

--------------------

Kuroo Tetsurou liked to write on his arms. Despite his mother's half-serious warnings about “ink poisoning” or staining his skin, he insisted on marking his arms and legs wherever he could. Not like his best-friend-since-always Bokuto Koutaro, who had to write on his arms or he’d forget to breathe, but artfully. He’d draw designs, animals, the occasional chemical compound. The whole idea behind soulmates fascinated him: how one person could mark their arm and someone potentially thousands of miles away, would have that same mark appear. The amount of articles, studies, and books he’d read about the topic, even at a young age, could put an undergrad researcher to shame.

my notes: again with the soulmate au bc i cannot help myself. but really cute!!! probably gonna read this again later!

Boom, Toasted by protostar (hearthope)

rated: T words: 6,782 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 FROM: yuuji any bets on who hes texting??

FROM: eita He's smiling at his phone. Kuroo, probably

FROM: kentarou Kuroo

TO: fake family Have any of you ever once considered not prying

FROM: eita You deserve it

FROM: yuuji how can we not when ur in love!!

Kenma gets a text from an unknown number. He'd be lying if he said the guy behind it wasn't kind of endearing.

my notes: again, i love wrong number texts. it focuses more on kenma’s friendship, but kenma’s pov with texting kuroo is more than him realizing feelings and stuff. really cute, ive read it multiple times. 

Japan's most subscribed by NeverNothing

rating: T words: 3,631 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo Tetsurou @blacktetsurou changed his bio : volleyball player, co-owner of Bouncing Ball Corp. and so much more ;)

my notes: i! love! social media! fics!!! really cute and basically people wondering who the mysterious kuroo is to applepi. 

MATSUHANA!!! the underrated gem

texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic

rating: M words: 2,119 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Hanamaki breaks his No Texting In Class rule, and it's all downhill from there.

my notes: honestly more funny than it suggests, but its matsuhana, they’re meme lords.

rated m for by orphan_account

rated: T words: 10,692 chapters: 1/1

author summary: He should have known that there was a Specific Reason™ why it was so absolutely vital that he and Matsukawa specifically meet for a reading of the script. He should have known that there had to be some evil catch beyond sitting in a tiny, cramped studio with his newly sworn enemy.

Hanamaki stares at the title of the script he’d so gracefully neglected the night before.

FORBIDDEN PARADISE

“Excuse me,” Hanamaki starts, raising a pen in the air while staring blankly at the packet in his free hand. “Just to clarify, you want me to record a boy's love CD with Matsukawa?”

my notes: a very good voice actor au. there is some misunderstanding on hanamaki’s part bc he didnt finish listening to matsukawa, and this is really cute and i love matsuhana. 

In A Quiet Night, All Sounds Carry by levyovochka

rating: E words: 4,794 chapters: 1/1

authors summary: “Ah, ah, Too—!”

Hanamaki hates his university dorm.

“—ru, let me cum, please!”

Hold up. That’s a fucking understatement. Let him rephrase it: Hanamaki loathes his university dorm with passion. Detest the damned abomination, abhors it—

“—ru! Coming, coming—”

It has only been a month and Hanamaki already wants to die.

my notes: as u can guess minor iwaoi // rlly well written and bottom hanamaki rights and maybe my favourite matsuhana smutfic??? and hooh boy i simp for matsukawa

call me maybe by totooru

rating: T words: 33,689 chapters: 14/14

author summary: Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.

my notes: minor iwaoi, daisuga, bokuaka // god i think this is my favourite matsuhana fic overall, maybe in general, but my god is it great. this is probably a common rec, but its understandable as to why it is. basically au where makki texts matsun (who goes to karasuno) instead of oikawa for tips to beat iwaizumi at an arm wrestling match. but they keep messaging. and holy shit i love their conversations. please read this, it is 256/10

there we go!! i might go a part two with more ships (kagehina, tsukkiyama and iwaoi) but this took up way to much time lol. i have an essay due in a couple hours. but hope u like these fics as much as i do!!

[myuntoldstory]

saeran after end after thought

it took me a ducking month and some change because i had to farm hourglasses. when i started playing i kept getting the bad ends and i got so frustrated i didn’t touch the app for two weeks. i had to consult a guide to finally reach the end.

i wanted to play this because i needed to see where jihyun ended up and... well... we all know what happened there. anyway...

i have many thoughts and feelings about this ae. i don’t know if i can ever properly organise them, but i’ll put it in bullet points for now. this is my personal feelings, not any kind of fact. i have nothing against nearly anything and anyone (character or real) involved in this game. i’ll always love and appreciate them for being in this game, for creating this game, for giving us something to love for the past four or five years.

these thoughts are rather unfiltered. this is me coming out hours after finishing the ae. i might change my mind after letting it marinate for a while and after reading up some more about it.

it’s all under the cut. it’s long and rambling. there’s no need to read this, really; the ae is a month old after all, but i just needed to get this out. also, it’s salty as hell. literally saltier than the dead sea. it will dehydrate you... best to not bother with this.

also spoilers.

1. during the first playthrough the game mechanics were wonderful, novel, and immersive. but years later and for the sake of an ae? unnecessary. it’s too long. it’s too much work. i did my due when i played the game during ray’s route. why do i also have to work for something that should have been my reward? why do i still have to worry about hearts, choices, and game branches? why do i have to go through multiple endings? it’s an after end. it’s after the ending.

of course i love new content, i love more content, but not like this. and i know i sound super entitled. if i was impatient i should have justt read the wiki, but i wanted the experience, but not this specific experience. lucky it’s the pandemic and i have more time on my hands, but in normal circumstances my life is very different from what it was in 2016. i can’t be waiting for chats and making plans around it to get to the after ending. honestly i expected something like the secret ends or even similar to the style of jihyun’s ae... but no. apparently, chertiz thinks it’s fun to make us spend three and a half days to reach an AFTER END.

2. saeran choi needs love... but, in my opinion, not ours. not mc’s. the love he needs is his brother’s. the person he needs most is saeyoung choi. he’s suffered so much, endured many things no person should ever endure. of course he deserves romantic love, but i feel like he needed to recover first. that’s why after all this im firmly in the very bare, maybe even empty camp of preferring secret end saeran choi over ray route saeran choi.

3. never in my life has a game made me exhausted about the act of forgiveness. i feel a little sick. it’s terrible to say that, i know, but i am just so emotionally exhausted. there is this heavy feeling in my chest that makes me want to cry because i feel like i somehow destroyed a part of myself?

first it’s the saviour in jihyun’s ae. it’s still her in this ae. but in addition to that there’s also the prime minister? when does it stop? at this point we might as well forgive the twins’ mother too. she imprisoned her own sons to benefit from their father; beat the shit out of and starved saeran to the point that he wanted to die, but there must be a reason behind it, right? like all the villains in this game her choices are not her own; they are the product of their circumstances and we have to understand that.

i just... i understand what cheritz is trying to convey here. and granted saeyoung is not as forgiving, but this isn’t his story. it felt like the forgiveness was nearing some extreme by the end of it. i don’t think there’s anything wrong if you’e unable to forgive. if the only way for you to move forward is to not do so i feel that’s valid. as long as you’re not hurting anyone and that you’re not hurting yourself, you do whatever you need to recover. forgiving is not the only way, the noble way. not everyone’s backstory you have to understand and take into consideration in order to move on. even if they realise what they did was wrong, it’s okay not to forgive. sometimes that’s what we need to take care of ourselves.

im rambling on this point, but im going through this currently. it’s not as extreme as the choi twins or the rfa, but all my life i’ve been forgiving and understanding and it chipped away at me. even at my expense i forgave everything and it landed me in a place im struggling to get out of. i needed justice and this ae didn’t give me a bit of that... at least not in the way i needed.

4. cheritz said this is the grand finale, but... it didn’t feel like it? again this is me being entitled, but i expected something more. something bigger. something poignant because after this mystic messenger is over. i expected some kind of epilogues in the form of story modes. of course i appreciate everything the company has done, especially the efforts of the writers, artists, voice actors, and everyone, but... it’s so rushed? it such a short farewell that instead of getting catharsis and satisfaction i felt... drained. and i feel sad that it’s all over because im not ready to say goodbye and that goodbye is far too short for me.

i don’t know im just sad it’s all over.

also, the conclusion they come to is the dissolution of the rfa once everyone found their happy ending. i... this is a group that has been through some shit and that doesn’t make them closer somehow? the rfa app lies neglected and abandoned as everyone moves on with their lives? that is so... lonely? at least for me.

i mean, of course, not all endings have to be necessarily happy in the “everyone gets together once a week for dinners” kind, but i just... i dont know i expected them to be closer somehow. maybe they are. maybe outside the app they’re all closer, but... i don’t know. i feel sad they’re abandoning the app.

5. and then there’s kim jihyun.

and im... i dont know anymore. if you know me, follow me, or have read any of my fics you know im a jihyun fan. i love that man and YES i know his sins. we all do.

as i played the ae i started to hope that he’d die in the end instead of suffering through this egregious character assassination. yes, i literally preferred that he died and that i go through that pain instead of suffering whatever this is. obviously i dont want him to die, but this is like killing him anyway. they killed the essence of him, who he is as a person. hell, they probably killed him already and just installed a stranger in the ae because that v is not our v. all throughout the game he’s been kind and compassionate and selfless. his whole thing is about protecting the rfa, the mc, saving the saviour, and sacrificing himself for them. this is the idiot who gives you his hearts when you’re being actively nice to his abuser and saeran in his route. his ultimate happy ending involves everyone being happy, reunited, and given the proper mental care. he went away for two years, putting a much needed pause in your budding relationship, not only to recover from his trauma, but also to rescue saeran and help him recover too.

yes, v enabled the saviour even before another story. he lied. he put everyone in danger. he’s reckless and he keeps secrets way more than what’s natural. but he will never let any of them come to harm. my memory is fuzzy but im sure he never lets the rfa get in danger. he was devastated when yoosung got injured. he also tried to rescue seven and mc in the secret ends thats why he got shot. this guy always looks out for everyone. 

in what world is he okay with drugging the twins? making deals with the villains? the idea of trapping the twins in the saviour’s delusional, twisted family life? he’s not the type to be okay just standing there when his best friend’s life is falling apart or for even causing it. when zen, jaehee, and yoosung get backed into the corner he wouldn’t have been just idle. but in this ae all he does is play stacking chairs, buy strawberry yoghurt, and echo the saviour’s words like a puppet. he asks only mc to save herself and like... jesus christ he never gets a break. he doesn’t even get the same gesture of forgiveness everyone and their father gets. he goes through a trial and jail, which is fair enough, but he’s also a victim of abuse and suffering and despair and mental illness. but somehow because it’s v it’s okay that this is all he gets. somehow he doesn’t deserve any compassionate resolution.

literally the only time he’s happy is his route and after end and even then that happiness is not his own. even then there were concessions to be made before he could get it.

seriously. it seems like cheritz hates him. they think little to nothing of him. if that’s the case why even make content for him? he’s not even meant to be romanceable in the original stories. they could’ve just ignored the petitions and left him as a side character. i mean, i dont know if i prefer that honestly, i do appreciate the content we got, but as his fan it hurts to see all this half-hearted decisions. and to see all this hate still pouring out for him, now magnified because of this ae.

this is like a tiring odyssey, starting way back when he got shot and killed all because he loved someone. he loved the wrong person and it’s the wrong kind of love and he committed his crimes because of it. he had a hand in making the rfa and mc suffer, but still all he did was love. and i know that sounds blind and naive and ignorant and im sorry for not picking up the nuances of his relationship with the saviour, but that’s all i saw. i saw a guy loving the wrong person and it made him make all the wrong choices leading to a bad life.

gah. i am drained people. i am drained, and frustrated, and tired.

[cowbpy]

Witcher Fics I Want

this is jaskier x geralt by the way. i couldn't sleep so i came up with these instead.

Skating AU

Jaskier is a figure skater and Geralt is a hockey player. Geralt plays for “the Witchers”. The two groups fight for ice time a lot. 

High School Teachers AU

Jaskier teacher choir or art. Geralt teaches History or Chemistry. All their students call them mom and dad. Ciri is their favorite. She is too smart for her classes so she hangs out with them after school and during lunch. They are oblivious and ciri is like “omg just kiss already!”

Pride and Prejudice AU

Its just pride and prejudice, but Jaskier is Lizzie and Geralt is Darcy. Geralt is emotionally constipated and cant handle his feelings so hes a dick instead. Basically just follows the plot of the book/movie and geralt proposes and gets turned down until he fixes himself. Georgiana is ciri she helps geralt win back jaskier.

Princess Bride AU

Jaskier is Buttercup and Geralt is wesley. Follows the movie kinda. Geralt is “killed” by the witcher then comes back pretending to be that to save jaskier from marriage to a shitty prince (valdo marx???).

The Little Mermaid AU

Jaskier is Ariel and Geralt is Eric. Jaskier is a mermaid who loves to watch people but some drowners (or ther water monster idk) is in the area he likes to watch and geralt gets knocked out saving jaskier who in turn saves him. He makes a deal to give up his voice to have legs so he can travel with geralt. Yennefer is Ursula i guess,,, idk.

Aladdin AU

Jaskier is Jasmine and Geralt is Aladdin. Jaskier hates being stuck in the palace and having to act like a royal. He sneaks out and geralt helps him escape some guard so he can play his lute in a market or something. Geralt is in love but doesnt think a prince would fall for him so he uses a potion or magic or something (yennefer helps??) to change his hair color and disguise himself as a prince. Takes jaskier for a ride on roach idk.

Falsettos AU

This is based off of falsettos the musical. Geralt and Yen divorce and geralt leaves to live with jaskier, but hes still trying to have a relationship with ciri and yen. I think triss would be marvin cause gay is always better. This doesnt have to be an exact copy of the story, but just an inspiration.

Theater AU

This would just be a one shot lol. i just think it would be funny. Jaskier is the lead actor and geralt is on crew. thats it lol.

Coffee Shop AU

Jaskier works as a barista at a little cafe and falls for the guy (geralt) who always come in and sits in the corner reading and only orders a plain black coffee. Jaskier is a gay disaster and his coworkers know it.

Disney World AU

Geralt brings ciri to disney world for a weekend and Jaskier is playing her favorite prince (idk which one just pick) and they go and visit him everyday they go.

Drag Queen AU

Jaskier is a drag queen at a club (goes by dandelion or buttercup) and geralt is the bouncer/security. Someone gives jaskier a hard time outside f the club after closing and geralt saves him and walks him home.

Public Transport Musician AU

Geralt takes the subway everyday and jaskier is always playing in the station. One time he gets on the train with geralt and they talk. Jaskier shares that on weekends he plays at a club and geralt goes and sees him.

Self Defense Lessons AU

Jaskier moves to a big city or something and wants to take self defense lessons and geralt is the instructor. Jaskier can not handle geralt pinning him down and straddling him.

Neighbors AU

Jaskier and Geralt live next to eachother in an apartment building. Jaskier is always knocking and asking for extra flower or help fixing something. At first geralt hates it but it becomes endearing and then one day geralt asks jaskier for help with something and thats when they get together. Yen and Triss live across the hallway and laugh as it goes down.

Mandalorian/Star Wars AU

Geralt is apart of a bounty hunter clan (the mandalorians/witchers) and is supposed to find a child and deliver it to some bad people (its ciri/baby yoda) but doesnt and adopts her. Jaskier come in at some point idk how tho.

Gym Training AU

Trans!Jaskier wants to get buff so he passes better and gets trained by geralt. thats it.

Role Reversal AU

Jaskier is a witcher (he still has a smaller frame. I think hes more of an assassin and more stealth based.) and Geralt is a moody musician (i dont think he sings) Somehow geralt gets tied up with one of jaskiers hits and that how they end up travelling together. Jaskier is jealous that geralt is still huge and jacked despite being a musician.

Gender Bend AU

I just want a big muscly lesbian geralt. Jaskier is a cottage core lesbian. otherwise nothing changes.

You’ve Got Mail AU

Jaskier owns a smaller bookstore thats going to be swallowed up by witcher co. books. Just follows the movie plot. I read a really good youve got mail au fic a long time ago and i want more.

Fake Relationship AU

This is honestly my favorite au and ive yet to see it in the witcher fics. Jaskier lied to his family that hes in a relationship so that theyd stop trying to set him up, but they come to visit so he has to get Geralt to pretend to be his boyfriend. or Jaskier gets a chance to go to a resort or on a cruise and play for the guests but its a married couples only thing so he brings geralt along and they have to pretend to be a happy married couple. Triss and Yen are there and onto them the whole time.

Soulmate AU

i havent seen any witcher fics with a classic soulmate au. there is plenty to pick from. One could be matching birthmarks and jaskier ( or geralt) figures out that the other has the matching birthmark but is scared to tell cause “witchers cant feel”

Mechanic AU

Jaskier keeps “accidentally” breaking things so the hot mechanic will come fix it.

Circus AU

geralt is a strong man or “beast” tamer and jaskier is some artsy shit idk. Concept: jaskier is a trapeze artist and he sings while he does it so hes the “song bird”. Yen can be a fortune teller or some shit.

PLEASE let me know if you right a fic going off of these or if you find one similar to one of them that youd think id like. Im shit at writing myself, but im a pretty ok editor so let me know if you need a beta reader

[angrylizardjacket]

teenage fantasy. {Joe Mazzello} /SMUT\

Anon asked: Can you do a joe smut fic?? Where he's rough but soft at the same time???

A/N: 2483 words. I love this Y/N because she definitely responds to the questions ‘your boyfriend’s an actor? what’s he been in’ with ‘me.’ ANYWAYS smut. it might be a bit sappy, i genuinely don’t know if it’s good but i’m not going to apologise for it, it is what it is. have fun. would love some feedback.

“Do you remember when we were kids, we made that promise that we’d be best friends no matter what?” You said, voice gentle as you rested your head on Joe’s chest, the two of you half paying attention to something on the television.

“It was when I brought you along to Jurassic Park,” Joe agrees, an arm around you, rubbing small circles into your back, “you’d wandered off to find the T-Rex, and you found her, but she started malfunctioning and you started screaming.” And the moment you try and bury your embarrassed expression against his chest, he laughs, low and warm, and gives you a squeeze. “Yeah, I remember, why?”

“That still holds up, right?” Your voice is muffled where you’re still pressed against his chest, and he’s quick to answer.

“Yeah, it’s a promise, babe.” When he speaks, you look up at him and see him grinning; he’s still looking at the TV, but you can tell he’s not paying attention to it.

“Well when I was sixteen I also promised I’d never date an actor-” You half smile, and he finally looks down at you, raising his free hand to his chest.

“That really broke my heart, you know.” He interjected, and you gave him a light shove.

“Exactly, I broke that promise.” And his expression softens from amused to gently concerned.

“Why are you bringing this up now? What’s got you worried?” He asked, and you can’t articulate your thoughts. “You’re my best friend, my girlfriend, and I’ve known you since grade school; babe,” he laughs a little, wearing a fond smile, “at this point I’m pretty sure you’re stuck with me.”

“But when we made that promise, we were kids, we didn’t know what it meant, we didn’t have to be anything.” Voice soft, you rest your head on his chest again, eyes closed as the fear that had been overwhelming you for months finally came to a head. “But we’re, we’re grownups and you’re someone, Joe. You’re in Bohemian Rhapsody, and I’m-”

“Stop it.” Joe’s voice is firm, and your voice dies in your throat. “Whether or not I’m in a movie or whatever, that doesn’t change anything about us.” His voice is unwavering, and his sincerity calms something in your chest; he truly believes in what he’s saying. 

“You mean that?” You murmur, and he taps your hip gently. Moving automatically, you sit up looking at him with only the barest hint of uncertainty as he beckons you towards his lap, letting you straddle him.

“Of course I mean that.” It’s so soft when he says it, his hands cupping your jaw as he pulled you in for a kiss. He holds you like you’re made of porcelain, and when you lean back, his fingers ghost, feather-light down your arms to settle at your hips. The way he looks at you, reverential, like you hang stars in the sky, his eyes wide and bright, the barest hint of a smile on his lips, it’s as if he’s trying to commit this image to memory. It’s like he’s never seen anything more beautiful that you, in his lap, wearing a shirt that was far too big for you, and a pair of lacy knickers, and you duck your gaze, bringing your hand up to scratch the back of your neck. “There’s no-one I’d rather be with, I promise.” 

“Joe-” you murmur his name soft as he takes your chin and guides you back to face him, pulling you in where you’re smiling bashfully.

“Baby, I promise.” He says, his lips inches from yours, and you grin as you close the gap between you two, kissing him fear disappointing in a way you hadn’t realised it would the moment he has a hand on your ass, squeezing firmly, almost like a reassurance.

“Did high school you ever imagine we’d end up here?” You half laughed as Joe peppers kisses across your collar, which then turned into a faint gasp as he ran his fingernails up your side beneath your shirt with the hand that wasn’t on your ass.

“I think high school me had this exact fantasy.” He admitted, and as you laughed, his hands quickly come up to pull off your shirt over your head and he nodded, shooting for serious as he made a noise of agreement. “Actually, this is much more accurate.” And you’re still giggling even as he took one of your nipples in his mouth, teeth grazing against the sensitive flesh. He kisses his way up your chest, deliberate, lips warm against your skin, and then there’s that smile again, the one you’ve known for years, the one you’ve loved for years, and suddenly you feel secure.

You’ve seen him on screen a million times, falling in love and kissing what felt like a million different people who weren’t you, but in moments like this, where he’s got his hands on your back, guiding you to lay down on the soft bed.

“What about you? Did high school you ever consider this?” And he punctuated it by pulling his shirt off over his head, and you reached up, regarding him with an affectionate smile, tugging him into a messy and passionate kiss as an answer. He had one hand on your cheek, the other moving lower, dipping beneath the waistband of your panties. He swallows your gasp as he slides one finger into you easily.

“I-” when he stars to kiss down the column of your throat, you try and answer, but he chooses that moment to start moving gently within you, curling and uncurling his fingers at an agonisingly slow pace.

“Is that right?” He sounds so innocent but you can feel his smirk against your shoulder.

“That summer, we were- we were sixteen-” you stutter your way through your sentence as his thumb begins to gently rub at your clit. He presses a kiss to your sternum, before looking up at you expectantly; you want to laugh at his innocent act, but the moment you make eye contact, he presses deliberately against both your clit and your g-spot, and your head drops back to the mattress, letting out a low, heavy chuckle, more akin to a moan. Almost all words leave you as your reach down to hold his hand in place, hips rolling in time with the way his fingers moved inside of you. “There, right there.” You whimpered, letting go when he kept the rhythm, letting your hands fist in the sheets of the bed.

“Fuck that’s hot.” You hear him murmur under his breath, and when you look at him, he slows down, and you prop yourself up on your elbows to give him an amused look, heart still beating erratically as he continues to finger you at a steady rhythm. He looks a little surprised that the words had even left his mouth. “What? You are.” He smirked, and you couldn’t help but be endeared by his earnest honesty.

“Take off your pants, you dork.” You grinned, biting your lip and pressing your thighs together as he removed his hand from your panties, leaving you feeling a little empty.

“So you were saying; when we were sixteen you wanted to fuck me?” He asked, tone light as he pulled off his sweat pants, and you chuckled, shifting to sit against the headboard, lazy grin on your face as your own fingers dipped into your panties.

“Pretty much.” You admit easily, and he snorts out a laugh. “I remember, it was like Mid-July, I came over for dinner and you were washing your mom’s car, just wearing board shorts,” and you trailed off, making a low hum of approval at the memory, gasping sharply as you pinched at your clit. Finally, Joe looks at you, now in his boxers, and he goes completely still, watching your hand work.

“Babe, I was so pasty.” He moves automatically, hands on your hips pulling the fabric down your legs, leaving you exposed as you opened your legs for him.

“You’re still pasty.” You smirk as you watch him kiss his way up your inner thigh, grip tight on your thigh like he knows you like. He takes your clit in his mouth, sucking hard, making you arch into him, cocky amusement evaporating with a whimper. It only takes a moment, his tongue flicking across the bud, before he’s moving further up, pressing kisses to your stomach, biting gently at the swell of your breasts with an almost awed laugh when you moan at the sensation. 

“Taking your time there?” You ask, gently lifting his chin when he presses his lips to your chest, and he grins, a little devilish as if happy to be caught in the act.

“Sorry, I was just remembering...” and he’s wearing this shit-eating grin as he sits back, reaching into the bedside drawer, pulling out a condom and opening it easily, “about five minutes ago my girlfriend was worried I’d leave her for my fancy, Post-Bohemian Rhapsody lifestyle.” He slides off his own underwear, and you suppress a fond smile. “I’m just trying to prove that that’s not going to happen.” He pulls you by the hips towards him once the condom is secure, and he pauses for a moment, the tip of his cock at your entrance.

“Well don’t keep me waiting.” Voice low and seductive, you moan, long and breathy as he sinks slowly into you.

“Never, baby.” He murmurs into your ear before capturing your lips in a kiss. He starts so slow, so deliberate, and your move your hips to match his pace, breath catching when your hips meet his and you can feel him hit deep inside of you. It’s like a switch has been flipped, the teasing banter leaving your mind as all you can think about is his cock inside of you, his hand on your thigh pulling your leg up, closer to him.

Your nails dig into his back, you can feel him press a groan into your neck. You reach down between your bodies, fingers finding your clit, and your head falls back as you play with your clit as Joe fucked you.

“God, baby you feel so good.” He presses a kiss to your throat, his grip on your thigh tightening.

“So good.: You agree, as if the words were being pulled from you. He slows down for a moment, moving back to look you in the eyes. Seeing you looking up at him through your lashes, pupils blown wide, and lips swollen from where you’d been biting them to keep yourself quiet, he can’t help but snap his hips to meet yours, if only to hear your gasp, watch your eyes flutter closed for a moment.

“I’m all yours, baby, I promise.” And you reach up with your free hand to pull him in to a kiss, moaning and sloppy against his lips, rolling your hip lazily, enjoying the new pace.

“All mine.” And there’s a self-assuredness in your voice, with him deep inside of you, his hands on your thigh, that hits him right in the chest. If you’d asked him right now, he’d walk through hell for you without hesitation. “I love you.” And he’s still a little dazed. 

“I love you too.” He responds, and he feels your hands on his hips, sees the way you’re biting your lips, and his pulse gets even more erratic, if possible. Moving with him, the two of you role until he’s laying on the mattress, and you’re straddling him. It only takes you a moment to reposition him before you’re sliding down onto his cock, taking a moment to just enjoy the feeling of fullness, before you start grinding against him.

“Fuck.” He breathes, hands steady on your hips, loosing himself in the sensations. And then you’re leaning over him, lips against his, kissing him hard, as you rode him, moving down and sucking a hickey into his chest, as one of his hands comes up to pinch at your nipples. “Fuck, I love you, baby.” He moans, and you let out a breathy laugh.

“I love you too, God, I love you so fucking much.” And your eyes flutter closed as he begins rubbing at your clit. You’re both so close as you grind against him, his hips rolling against yours, cock hitting inside of you at just the right angle as you leaned back a little, and the words falling from your lips are incomprehensible, but all you can hear is his moans, and praises as he tells you how good it feels to be inside of you.

You come with a high moan, leaning forward and pressing your forehead to his, hips still rolling as he comes a few moments later, pressing desperate kisses to your lips, holding your hips steady, flush against him as he buries himself deep inside of you. The world stands still for just a moment, your pussy still twitching with the aftershocks of your orgasm, and you let out a shaky laugh.

“So is that how the fantasy usually turned out?” You asked, catching your breath for a moment before you climb off of him, flopping onto the bed beside him. Joe snorts out a laugh, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to head to the bathroom and dispose of the condom.

“I never really got that far.” He admitted, and you let yourself relax and chuckle into the easy silence of the room.

“I think I could do another thing high school you would have fantasized about.” You call out, and when he returns, there’s an amused look on his face, his eyebrow raised with interest. You beckon him over and he sits on the bed against the headboard at your insistence. You take his now soft cock in your hand, gently pumping it a few times.

“You’re gonna have to give me a few minutes before round two.” He insisted, and you smiled softly at him, hand still gentle on his dick.

“I know, I just wanna make you feel good.” And it’s so sweet and honest that Joe feels like his heart’s going to melt as he takes your face in his hands and plants a kiss on your lips.

“You do, baby.” He murmurs, and the two of you are quiet for a moment, resting your foreheads together, his hands cupping your cheeks, your hand still working his dick where it was already half hard.

“I just wanna,” you try to explain, though he can hear the wicked smile in your words without even opening his eyes, “make you feel as good as I do when you tell me you love me while you’re so fucking deep in me.” And Joe lets out a low groan, his cock twitching in your hand.

“You’re far too hot for your own good.”

[z7rkive]

DHAU: What To Know

Hey! its what all of u have been waiting for: more dhau stuff :)

Also!! most of this is by the one powerful braincell @snaxarba and I share hhh,, we’ve both worked hard (lmao not rlly we just screamed at each other sksks) on creating the universe around dhau uwu she’s been a great help aaa please send her love through her inbox! She’s currently writing a fic for this au, so if u got any questions or want a snippet go over to her :))))

Now that that’s out of the way, get ready for a LONG post:

GENERAL INFO

DH = Deathly Hallows

5 members

Fandom name: Hallows

Ages: S.S (26), T.R. (24), D.M. (21), H.P. (21), C.D. (19)

Hyung Line (oldest members) : Prince (Severus Snape) & L.V. (Tom Riddle)

Maknae Line (youngest members) : Draco Malfoy, Seven (Harry Potter), & Zed (Cedric Diggory)

Visual Line (“Faces/Most Handsome” of the group) : L.V., Draco, & Zed

Rap Line (Rappers in the group) : Prince & Zed

Dance Line (“Best” Dancers) : L.V., Seven, Prince, & Draco

Vocal Line (“Vocals of the group) : L.V., Seven, & Draco

Choreo Line (Take part in creating choreography) : Prince & L.V.

OTHER RANDOM INFO:

They work under G.G. Entertainment (G.G.E.) with Dumbledore as the Big Boss

Drarry is the most popular ship among fans

Dispatch is a company that takes photos of idols and tries to expose dating scandals

Dispatch Boss: so r they dating anyone

the hallow stan twt is crazy as fuck lmao

theres so many memes

solo stans are fans who only like 1 member of the group (the person is their favorite) and don’t pay attention to the others/give hate to the rest of DH

antis are just hateful ppl in general, they send lots of hate to either Hallows, one specific member, DH, or just the whole group in general

one time Severus and Harry did a vlive (they haven’t done one in a long time so sevenprince fans were excited! :0)!! Harry’s like, “Sev and I have a great plan for this live! :D” and then someone in the comments just says, “Can we have a different member on vlive please :/ i dont wanna look at both yall ugly mugs lmao” :((

Harry, “Cedric? Ah no he’s not here. Draco? He’s not here either sorry :(. Oh ok, I’ll get Tom for you guys.”

big sad^ :(

ot5 = loving the whole group; EX: “No solo stans allowed!! only ot5 enthusiasts!!!”

it does not mean they all fuck skshs

but All7 means they all fuck harry lmao

there’s this super popular twitter account called “@Sevensfw” and it’s basically just an account that posts bottom harry moans ft other DH members

DH wasn’t that popular before, but a fancam of L.V. dancing blew up on social media, and that got them a lot of attention

there will be lots,,, and lots,, of social media in this fic

we get inspiration from u guys as fans so go off on ur reactions

INFO OF THE MEMBERS UNDER THE CUT :)

MEMBERS

Prince / Severus Snape

Oldest in the group

Prince Stans are called: Robins

Produces most of the songs

Unofficial leader; whenever Harry’s not there he’s automatically in charge and no one questions it

Bat Dad / Goth Daddy

Joined G.G. Entertainment to become a producer but then got stuck with DH

“Nation’s Prince 💞💞💞” - Robins uwu

GENIUS !!!

He’s usually very frowny and makes lots of mean remarks but he’s rlly a soft boy daddy

He, Harry, and Tom are the ones who speak most in interviews

People say he’s lazy because he stays indoors most of the time but!!! He works his ass off helping produce most of the tracks the band makes

AND helps choreograph their dances and help run their big ass dorm

Husband material 10/10

Deep voice mmmm

Big ass softie for their leader

Snape: *makes Harry dance & moan for no reason at all* “all in the name of music.”

He and Harry have been labeled the “Mom & Dad” of DH by Hallows

He and Harry usually discuss big decisions to see what’s best for the group

Only other person he’s comfortable with besides Harry is Tom since they’re closer in age, and work together with choreography

He and Tom are chill buds; the “mature ones of the group”

When he first got into DH, he actually thought Harry was a visual of the group ;)

Harry needs help? Whether it be to get away from Visual Line or just in general Goth Daddy got him 😌

one time he and harry went to another country and couldn’t speak the language, and the waiter thought they were a couple bc of the way they acted around each other so they got a couple discount sksksks

So,, so underrated,,, like please stan this whole ass man

Why wouldn’t you??? like,,, he know how to cook, he humble, he got the tongue technology, husband material, high ass IQ,,, tall, dark,,,, what more can u ask for tbh?

you could also ride his nose lmao but ig thats reserved for Harry

L.V. / Tom Riddle

Visual as FUCK

Has the biggest vocal range; king can go from Deep & Raspy to High & Angelic in 0.001 seconds

One word to describe his voice: soulful

used to be part of the rapline in their early debut days, but for some reason he hasn’t rapped recently?? kows r thirsty pls rap for us again tommy boy,,,

bc of that he’s not “part” of the rapline, so he’s just labeled as a sub-rapper, which means he’s like the backup-backup rapper.

Wanted to be leader and kinda resented Harry for a bit before he met him and now he too, is whipped for Harry

Does not care for personal space, literally just crowds around Harry whenever the fuck he wants

He’s labeled himself as Harry’s personal seat, and is always pulling Harry into his lap

Tom’s never been touchy with others but for some reason Harry is just,,, There. He likes that feeling that Harry gives him whenever he’s around; he’s fascinated about his own actions toward Harry so he’s always trying to explore their physical intimacy

HES GOOD AT EVERYTHING AND HE KNOWS IT; everyone’s just like, “wtf that’s not fair”

Yeah he’s good at everything but he watches anime sksksk 🗿🗿🗿

Lowkey-Highkey dislikes Cedric bc dumb bitch unplugged his computer while he was binge watching bnha & happy go lucky mf named Tom’s fandom KOWs (like cows 🐄), when it was supposed to be Knights of Walpurgis smh

His dance!! His dance sequences always look like fight scenes and it’s the B E S T

Very smooth & quick on his feet

Literally so many fancams of him body rolling

Takes no shit from antis,, they’re not relevant.. only DH & Harry are 😤

Adopts any brand with the initials L.V. And everyone just goes along with it

Tom stans (KOWs) clown pre-debut Tom bc he was gonna have his stage name as “Lord Voldemort” and no one will let him live it down skskks

Was scouted by another agency- that agency asked him to audition for their company but he thought it was a scam; he would’ve been in a diff group if he went

Originally auditioned to G.G. Ent. To become an actor, but changed his mind.

Since he’s also one of the choreographers he’s always trying to make it so he and Harry get lots of skin ship

Draco Malfoy

Harry’s/Ferret’s/Hallows’ sugar daddy no lie

KING OF FANSERVICE

Whatever the fans want? The fans get. Whatever Harry wants? He gets it too.

Draco appreciates his Hallows/Ferrets sm,, he’s always reminding them that they are the ones who keep DH going and that without Hallows they wouldn’t be where they are

He always tries to go on vlive (think: IG live, but better) every 2 weeks even with their busy schedules and just spends time talking with the fans :’)

During concerts he’s interacting the most with everyone, walking around the stage the most so the fans can see him from different views: he’s always trying to make eye contact with them

He’s rich enough he doesn’t have to be an Idol but he still wants to stay ,, he wouldn’t give up DH & Hallows for anything.

also helps with any financial problems the boys have!! they need a place to rent? he got their backs

Center of the group!! This means whenever they’re dancing you’d usually find him in the center/middle position. The center is the one who calls attention to them-self the most and has to make sure their formation looks good; they have to carry the group during a performance. If the center looks bad, then the rest of the group and performance is too.

STABLE AS FUCK VOICE. Do you know how hard it is to dance and sing? At the same time??? Draco makes it so effortless,, when he sings and dances his voice doesn’t shake or waver- It’s stable and whenever he’s doing a live performance his voice sounds like it’s from the actual track

HE LOVES DANCING. Dance dance dance. He joined DH because he really just wanted to dance, he didn’t think he’d be part of the vocal line lmao but ugh king got thru

He & Harry are both 21, and Draco’s always making it a point that he’s older than Harry (only by 2 months!); since they’re the same age, they relate and hang out with each other more. He and Harry usually go out and have “bro-dates”. He talks to Harry abt personal problems n vice versa.

He and Harry always support each other and have formed that bff bond and Draco’s always pulling Harry towards him on stage so Harry will get noticed more (since Harry’s one of the unpopular members, while he himself is veeerry popular)

Antis usually say that Draco doesn’t really have any talent and that he just bought his way into DH with his money and good looks, and that he doesn’t deserve his place as ‘center’ :(

The Confident Gay,,, always slapping that Harry booty.

Cheesy asf,, any chance he gets he always flirts w Harry

Seven / Harry Potter

Best leader 11/10

Always comforting members !! He sings to them to make them happy :)

Main vocal- king can hit that note 😩.

Voice is very calming/lullaby like. Relaxing uwu.

Mother hen lmao,, he’s always worried about his group and how they’re doing

Thighs

Duality king go from 0-10000000 real quick

What a caring bitch I love him

Gives special massages to his members when they feel stressed,, and in turn they help him when he needs to step down from all that leader work.

He’s not really one to do ‘cute things for the fans on purpose’ but when he does he gets really embarrassed,, flustered bb will hide his face behind his hands n cover himself. He’d hide his face in his clothes, on another member’s chest/shoulder, or look at the ground while he stirs in cute embarrassment

Knows the members have some type of fascination with him so he uses that as like a punishment/reward system- “First one to memorize all their lines And choreo gets to go with me to help pick out my clothes.”

Insult his group? Won’t hesitate to cut u with his long eyelashes + sharp tongue lmao

Reassuring Hallows that they’re fine even when they get hate because they have each other,, DH/Hallows is best ship

Blames himself when another member gets hate- he feels like he’s not taking care of his group and he’s trying his best to make them feel not excluded :(

Lil bun bun uwu 🐰Seven Nation !! Stay winning 🤩🤩🤩 Protecc this hard working baby 😩

On stage he’s a force to be reckoned with,, like ugh what a sexy boi hshsh,, but off stage!!! A literal cutie!!!!! Soft & pure

Second half of underrated duo

Built up muscle during debut, but throughout the years/eras he went a bit lax, and since he didn’t have as much muscles since before, he’s gotten a lot of hate :( The members love his squishy cheeks n thicc thighs but antis think he should have a sharper jaw line hhh

oblivious mf,,, he rlly went on a date with a female idol from another company without knowing it was a date hh this boy

actually got in DH because he lost a bet

Zed / Cedric Diggory

Sunshine boy!! ☀️ Literally a ray of happiness in the group,,, always smiling and keeping everyone happy

most popular boy

Chaotic mf,,, in this au he’s the equivalent of the shaggy meme 🗿

Joined DH bc of Harry :’)) He’s gotten offers of joining other agencies but decided to go with G.G. Ent and decline all those offers because he saw Harry sing n dance + had a taste of Harry’s sweet personality when he first met him!! 

Cedric joined when he just turned 15, so Harry and the other members have been raising him for like 4 years :(. He could be a manifestation of all their groups personalities.

Looks up to Harry so much?? He’s Harry’s biggest fan and will literally do anything for him,, Harry’s done so much for him when he was younger that he wants to try and repay his leader by also being there for him :(.

M U S C L E  M A N / STRONG boi

literally harry sat on his back while he did push-ups wtf,, like he doesn’t even get winded if harry runs and jumps in his arms

every hallow who’s been with them since debut (15) to present time (19 going on 20): WHY DID HE GROW UP SO FAST HE HAD CUTE CHEEKS HOW DOES HE HAVE A JAWLINE WTHHHHH

his fandom name: satans

ok like,, cedric used to be a rlly shy boy during the beginning years of debut days and like?? he’s been getting more comfortable and one day he just thought “fuck the agency i do what i want” and he’s so happy now

this is why he’s so chaotic,,, his fandom used to be named “Puffs” but after Cedric’s Big Awakening, the Puffs renamed themselves as “Satans”

“Oh you’re a Hallow, too? Cool! I’m a Robin! :D” “Nice! I’m part of the Satanic cult haha”

earlier i said he was a sunshine but uhhhh

When he’s on stage ohoho,,, damn what a M A N,, like??? spits fire and memes on a daily basis

h a t e s losing,,, “I’m never losing my virginity” “Why??” “BECAUSE I NEVER LOSE”

Harry meanwhile: but u could win me??? 

Cedric is just,, “...” “for the greater good” 

released a solo album called “Spared” (name idea was from L.V. bc Cedric ate his last dumpling; originally wasn’t gonna go with it but Harry liked it lmao)

Spared Title track - “Kill The Spare”

The seventh track on his solo album is called “Septem”, and its basically a song dedicated to Harry and how much he appreciates him as a person, how he’s so thankful to have him and his life,, blah all that mush

Septem = Hedric/Zedven shippers anthem

Cedric has a cool necklace that he always wears and he tells people, “Harry gave me the chain. It had a different pendant but I changed it for this one. It’s the Roman numerals for Seven.” :D

so,, much,, puns its stupid

a crackhead

his whole group is made up of crackheads but he’s the TRUE crackhead  ya feel

this boy is always active on social media im,,, like?? he’s just on vlive talking with the fans and then he’ll show the camera around to where Draco is helping Harry stretch before warm ups (surprise they’re in a compromising position) and Cedric just goes, “Haha! I love friendship :).” 

started his dancing career when he joined DH, so he’s the most behind with dance; many people criticize him bc he’s a “bad dancer” but everyone knows he’s a better dancer than any Hallow

but!! he has improved so much D: sunshine baby rlly went thru it

[idontevenremember5minutesago]

If you dont mind me asking. What is your problem with Lance Stans?

Alright. I knew I would get this sooner or later. Note I’m not about to pull punches. Also this is a long one because I don’t want to have to answer this again so strap in for a ride. Here’s MY experience  with Lance stans. This won’t even get into my experience with Klantis. Because that’s just a whole different ball game.

So, In the beginning everything was fine. And I can say that with confidence because I was in the Tumblr Voltron tag the day the show’ first season dropped on Netflix. I was that excited. Voltron was my childhood and I loved the direction they were taking it  and I wanted to talk about it. I instantly loved all the characters but Keith, having been my favorite character in the 80’s series quickly became my favorite once again so I was excited for content on him especially. I can tell you truthfully, that even back in the early days most of the Keith content was shipping him with Lance. At the time I was alright with that. I liked Klance.and everyone shipping it was really chill (if you can believe it) but I noticed that he was usually portrayed as a pining love interest  who hyped Lance up and that bummed me out cause Keith was so much more than that, but I was confident that when Keith got more development that would change. But then things took a turn  as Lance stans emerged as the most vocal fans in the fandom and Klance as the most popular ship. Because he got so little focus in the first season, people had to supplant their own views of Keith’s character to write fics and draw fanart. So Lance stans already had  a certain view of Keith’s character and that was, a way to prop up Lance or highlight Lance’s insecurities so he could apologize to Lance and they could have Langst (Ugh) and Klangst.

Things took a turn in S2 when Keith got his character arc and more spotlight. I was ecstatic.More people started to appreciate KEith, I got more Keith centric fanart and headcanons and Fanfictions. But then I noticed  A Lot of Lance stans started to grumble and complain aoubt Keith getting a character arc, because apparently it took away Lance’s screen time and ruined the view they had developed for Keith as a empty love interest. His bond with Shiro and the alone time he got with Allura threatened Klance. Him finding out his heritage, and piloting Black and going on solo missions with other Paladins threatened the view Lance stans had of Keith and because S2 established him as his own character, and back then, for Lance stans, everything Keith needed to revolve around Lance and Lance stans got bitter and the attacks began. Now it’s important to note that there  were Hunk fans who were upset Hunk didn’t get an arc, but I never saw any of them go after Keith or his fans. Also other fans were also getting mad at other characters. There were those who went after Allura and Hunk during S2. But once again those fans didnt go after the fans of the characters and they didn’t hate on the characters just to hate, rather criticized their actions, from what I saw. But Lance stans were by far the most vocal, violent and the most antagonistic. It got to the point where Keith fans were forced to participate in the then budding discourse because Lance Stans hijacked the Keith tag and filled it with their crap with bashing Keith and his fans when they defended him and his arc. We were constantly defending him and constantly suffering personal attacks for defending him. I saw Lance stans throw around the words homophobic and racist ( Which was personally offensive to me as I’m black)  at Keith fans because we were happy that Keith was getting development after an entire Season out of focus.Because being happy that Keith was getting an arc was a apparently a gross offense that warranted attacks on our personal persons.  

Some of the things they said was absolutely insane. Keith was horrible because he argued back when Lance started fights with him. Keith was to blame for Lance’s insecurities because he was better than him at flying. Somehow Iverson chewing out Lance was Keith’s fault. To Lance stans Keith was only one of three thrings, an empty love interest who hypes and props Lance up, A terrible person to blame for Lance’s insecurities or a combination of the two. By extension Keith fans who so much as pointed out things like Lance being mean to Keith or expressed love for Keith were Terrible people who supported the sidelining of their precious golden boy. It didnt help that I didnt know how to exclude tags on Ao3 at the time so I couldnt escape it even if I left tumblr.

As someone who viewed 80’s Keith as her Hero as a child, and who absolutely adored his new portrayal and related to him on every single level, seeing him get attacked so much was disheartening. Every trip to his tag had me leaving so sad and upset.

It got even worse when s3 dropped and Black Paladin Keith was confirmed. After months of Lance stans ragging on us and screaming for Black Paladin Lance and making headcanons about how Keith would never be chosen for the Black Paladin and that the Black Lion would absolutely reject him for Lance , to have all that debunked with Black actually rejecting everyone else and accepting Keith was too much and it sent Lance stans into a nuclear meltdown. The attacks came more and more, everyday in the tag turned into a war. Many Keith fans had to make separate accounts to combat the hate just to keep it all from our main account. It was TERRIBLE. There were so many Lance stans in the Keith tag claiming that Keith was a terrible character, that he didn’t deserve screetime and that Lance should be the main character,  the black paladin, that he should get all the arcs  and after months of fighting for the right to have Keith as my favorite character I. WAS.TIRED. I was tired of fighting just to have a good experience in the tag. I was tired of the attacks. I was tired of watching other Keith fans get attacked and get fed up and complain about how much they had to block and filter just to have a positive experience. I was tired of words like homophobic and racist being thrown out by Lance stans like candy. I was just tired. And so I stepped out of the fandom. I tried to still watch the show but it just reminded me of the horrible time I had and I stopped watching it as well.  

I occasionally stepped my toe back in a couple of times   like when Keith’s blog dropped, when his birthday was revealed, when Krolia was introduced and when the fandom did something particularly toxic and I just had to know, but my time watching the show and  interacting with the fandom was done.

Until the last season dropped and there was a huge movement of people leaving the fandom and I wanted to see what was so bad and I ended up binging the entire show and rediscovered my love for it (Excluding S8 because yeah) and Keith. And thus I wondered back into the fandom.

So in conclusion, Lance stans ultimately drove me away from Voltron ( A franchise I’ve loved since I was a literal child) and I’m not ashamed to say I deeply resent them for it. I’m mature enough to admit that not all Lance stans  are like that, that some hate the toxic stans just as much as I do , that some absolutely  love and respect Keith but there’s too much negative feelings that I hold for that side of the fandom so i felt it best to just entirely exclude  them from my Voltron experience. There’s too much of a chance that I’ll run into toxic ones again and I don’t want my time in this fandom to be ruined again. This fandom under all the toxicity can be really fun and nice and I refuse to give up on something I love ever again. And it sucks because I do love Lance and I have to pretty much stay away from his tag.

It doesn’t help that Lance stans still have the reputation of being the toxic side of the fandom for not only switching  to bashing every other character in the show ( even side characters) for being ‘mean’ to Lance, but also for going after the cast and crew of the show ( Lance Stans attacked Neil Kaplan in droves because he said something about Lance), and that terribly cringy thing with the Lance stan at SDCC literally yelling at the voice actors because they felt no one appreciated him. It also doesn’t help that even now it’s a running joke even to people OUTSIDE the fandom to ‘watch what you say about that Blue guy from Voltron or his cult of fans will attack you.” I don’t want to be anywhere near that shit.

The silver lining is that the love and appreciation for Keith is at an all time high and the posts I do unfortunately come across that bash him all come from posts Lance stans made in 2017, or as I like to call ‘ the dark ages of Keith fandom’. And that Keith hate is actually out of the norm and other fans, not only Keith fans are quick to shut it down and that Fans  of the other characters are just as quick to go after the fanatical Lance standom making everything about Lance. Turns out taking a break and coming back actually resulted in a much better environment so y’know small mercies and all that.

[artificialqueens]

Vices and Virtues (Trixya) - Pichitinha

A/N: Hi again! So yes, apparently I’m really into this thing of writing rpdr fanfiction??? Anyway I have once again taken the most used and cliché plot and voilá, a Trixya fic is born. Hope you like it anyway. Used male pronouns throughout, but Katya/Trixie is used more often than Brian.

Addiction is something Katya knows well. He firmly believes that short of designer drugs he’s had them all at some point in his life. Most of them he has overcome, and some he has tried. It’s been years since he’d stopped drinking for example, but on the other hand he had quit smoking three times through the span of his life and the vice just kept on getting stronger. Dont’s get him wrong: overcoming addiction is a lifelong commitment. Every day is a struggle, some worser than others, but always there. But he’s done it, sometimes.

Alcohol is definitely the one he misses the most, and he doesn’t mean only in the physical sense where he craves the taste and the sensations. He also misses the good side of it that non-addicted people get, which he used to get before everything got out of hand. He misses the socialization, the glass of wine when you go out to dinner on a fancy restaurant, the cocktail at a housewarming party, the belonging that came with being tipsy along everyone else as opposed to being the only sober in the party.

To be fair he is rarely ever the only sober anymore as a few other queens are also trying the steps of sobriety, but sometimes it’s hard, wanting to enjoy it like that so bad and not being allowed because you know that you’ll never be able to trust your body like that again.

Point is, Katya knows addiction. He’s good at spotting the signs of it in an early stage and he likes to believe that he’s now more prepared to stop new ones before they become his nicotine which is the only one he just can’t quit.

And that is why, as horrible and cliche and teenage-y and stupid as it sounds, that Katya firmly believes he is addicted to Trixie Mattel. It’s the little things, really, as it usually is, like when he’s ready to head home or go to bed early but can’t refuse any invitation Trixie makes, or like he’ll often wish Trixie was at his side when he thinks of something funny that he knows people won’t understand like he will.

Katya is not stupid, he knows he has feeling for the Barbie drag. He’s known for a while and he’s at peace with that fact. He’s even at peace with the fact that Trixie does not reciprocate. That is all fine within a context in which Katya can live his life normally even though those feelings are always there, but when it starts disturbing his reality, making him look for Trixie when he isn’t there and wishing he’d be and constantly thinking about him in ways that, once again, are one-sided, then they start having a problem. Katya is tired of addictions and he’s not at all experienced in the whole human vice thing but he thinks it might be the worst one yet. He’s so not ready for that spiral.

*

Thing is, Katya is pretty sure Trixie knows. He has to, actually, cause he’s not stupid. They’ve never talked about it but Katya doesn’t really try to hide it and pretty much all of their friends seem to see it. It had started off with a simple crush combined with horniness that grew out of a simple physical attraction, and Katya is not one to shy away of sexual desire, so he lets it be known. It’s alright when Trixie doesn’t reciprocate, he doesn’t expect him to, but he keeps on showing it and he only realizes his feelings have evolved when it’s too late. The whole thing has already become sort of a schtick and the only way to make his feelings more obvious would be to bluntly quit it all.

But mostly what scares Katya is not the one-sidedness of it all, but the fact that this isn’t him. Liking someone is something so foreign to him that the words sound weird even in his own head. He can’t count how many times he had said on camera alone that he doesn’t like commitments and relationships. And it’s true. That doesn’t stop his stupid heart from forgetting they’re 35 and not fucking 15, though.

He wonders sometimes, at the dead of the night when he’s alone in bed and drifting into the realms of sleep if he would be able to maintain a relationship if the other person was Trixie. His brain makes a quick but powerful collage of their moments together and it’s with great anxiousness that the answer he gets is yes.

*

So Trixie has a boyfriend. Well, sort of. It was just a tinder date but it has lasted for three weeks already. That’s not a good sign. For Katya, that is, because it means Trixie likes him. And Trixie gets invested, he’s always all in and he wants it to work and Katya knows that every time he gets a boyfriend he hopes it’ll be The One - the one that’ll give him a ring, a house, kids and a stupid white picket fence. Katya feels sort of sick, and isn’t that addiction in its purest form?

“Have you had sex yet?” Katya asks, unable to stop himself. The answer is probably no - Trixie and him are very much opposites in this aspect, which he is also well aware of - but he needs to hear it.

Trixie laughs. “You know I haven’t. I’m thinking about it, though. He’s very charming.”

Katya smiles but he can practically feel the deformed status of his face at that. He wonders if Trixie chooses to ignore it, if he really doesn’t notice it, or if he’s just a better actress than he thought.

“So soon? My my, I have changed you.” He manages to joke and Trixie laughs and it’s almost ok but not entirely.

“That’s what I get for making friends with the only high class Russian whore.”

Katya shrugs and points at him. “Should have known.”

*

Another thing is, even though Katya is sure Trixie knows - how would he not - Trixie acts normally. He doesn’t act like someone who knows his best friend likes him even though he doesn’t like him back. And that bothers Katya a bit, if he’s being honest, the fact that Trixie so easily dismisses his feelings. Once again, yes, he’s always blabbering about not liking relationships and shit. But there’s been a consistency to Katya’s feelings towards his friend that are worthy of at least some acknowledgement. It’s like, if every other queen is starting to mention it with “tough, huh?” types of comments then clearly it’s time for Trixie to at least be like “ok Katya, we get it, now get over it” right?

Don’t get him wrong, he’s happy to be the person that Trixie goes to share everything with. He likes being his confident, likes knowing that Trixie trusts him more than anybody else. But maybe Trixie should be a bit more considerate when sharing intimate details knowing full well how Katya wishes that it was him the other actor on the story.

“So, you really like him, huh?” He interrupts Trixie with the first question that comes to his mind, and it might be a terrible one, but it’s better than listening to how he’s the best fuck Trixie’s had in ages.

Trixie’s expression soften and his eyes shine a bit and Katya’s heart clenches before he’s even said a word. “Yeah, I think I do.”

Katya swallows the lump on his throat and wonders if it would be incredibly awkward if he just got up and left, sprinted away from there. When he realizes that it would, he gets up with the excuse of getting some water. He can see a little bit of confusion on Trixie’s eyes, but he just continues his way to the kitchen and hopes that in the small moment he’ll spend there he’ll be able to go back to the Katya he used to be, that had a crush on his best friend but could feel happy for him when he was happy. He drinks his water slowly and with each gulp he forces his brain to repeat I’m happy for him, I’m happy for him, I’m happy for him. He reaches the end of the glass and his brain barks back, liar.

*

He hasn’t exactly stopped sleeping with other people - that in itself is a stupid thought because other people would indicate that there is a person and there isn’t - but he did decrease the amount because he truly feels less like it now. He might see a guy and think about fucking him but he doesn’t entirely want to either and then he’ll end up going home. He blames it on getting old, but deep down he knows what is is.

But tonight is different. Because tonight he had a show and Trixie had gone and taken his boyfriend with him - yes, they’re at the boyfriend phase now, officially - and they’d been all over each the whole time, even when they were paying attention to his performance he could see their hands roaming from the corner of his eyes.

He feels a little sick and a whole lot angry at Trixie for being so insensitive, so since he can’t have a stupid drink which is the thing he wants the most when the show ends, he finds not one but two hot guys who’d like to go home with his and he takes them with an uber without even saying goodbye to his friends and he makes sure that he’ll enjoy the night to the fullest without thinking about Trixie Mattel once.

He wakes up the next afternoon and the guys have already taken their things and left. Katya is sort of glad because he doesn’t want to deal with that and also what woke him up was his phone ringing and he knows he doesn’t want an audience when he sees Trixie’s name as the caller.

“Katya? What the fuck?”

“What?” He honestly doesn’t know what he did.

“Where the fuck did you go? I searched all over for you last night and no one knew where you were?”

“Oh. I found a couple of guys and just brought them home.”

“A couple? You know what, nevermind. You could’ve at least told me, you knew I was there to see you.” Trixie’s clearly upset but Katya honestly cannot be bothered right now because it’s not his fault, is it?

“Please you were on a date and you went to that bar because you know it’s good.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not, it’s the truth. You barely looked at me the whole night.”

“Katya I’ve seen you perform a million times.”

“Then why did you go at all? And why pretend that you went for me?” Katya’s voice is starting to alter now, and he knows Trixie will notice, he always does.

Trixie is quiet for a few seconds. “Brian, is everything ok?” His tone is completely different now, and the fact that he called him Brian indicates that things got serious. Katya doesn’t care though, because he’s mad, he’s mad at himself for this stupid feeling he’s harboring and he’s mad at Trixia for harboring it for someone else.

“No. No it isn’t. But I don’t wanna talk about it. I gotta go, Brian, I’ll call you when I’m free.”

He has the time to hear a gasp from the other side of the phone before he hangs it up.

*

A small part of him thinks he’s being ridiculous. He’s overreacting and being a bit harsh because, well, Trixie is not really responsible for his feelings is he? But he is responsible for his actions and like it or not, his actions are hurting Katya.

It’s been three days since the conversation with Trixie and they haven’t spoken yet. Trixie tried texting him twice on the first day, but when no replies got back Katya assumes he gave up. In these almost 72 hours Katya has done a lot of thinking and he doesn’t like his conclusions at all, but he feels it’s the first time he is truly being honest with himself.

Brian McCook is in love with Brian Firkus. He’s 35 and he’s in love with his best friend and it’s the first time he’s ever really been in love with someone. And he’s scared and sick to his stomach and this is precisely the reason he doesn’t like relationships. And Trixie is in love with someone else. And opposed to everything he’s been telling himself, he’s not fine with it. He’s not at peace with the fact and it hurts him and he doesn’t it to because he doesn’t want to lose his friendship, but it hurts him so much and he’s not experienced at all in dealing with it so right now he really can’t.

It’s the end of the third day of silence and he understands where he stands now and he wants Trixie to know because he deserves at least that. So Katya takes his phone, takes a thousand deep breaths, and types: “Sorry for being an asshole. I just need some time. Love you.”

He turns his phone off before Trixie can even reply and spends the rest of the night fighting off his anxiety.

*

The next night he has a gig at the same bar and he forces himself to go to it with his head held up high and his perfect teeth displaying a full on smile. He interacts with the people and he has one more cigarette than he usually does before going on stage and he gives everything he has on that stage, breaking out splits and gymnastics at every five minutes to the point where his entire body aches when his number ends. He’s high on the adrenaline and sweaty all over and he feels really grateful he has drag because it is the only thing that makes him feel real and grounded and truly happy, even if for a short period of time.

He takes his time de-dragging, bathing in the afterglow of his excitement, and when he leaves he actually feels lighter than he has in the past few months, ready to make a plan now that everything’s in perspective in his mind.

That is until he meets Trixie waiting for him at the door.

“Brian?” He asks confused, not understanding what he’s doing there. He thought he’d been really clear with the whole ‘I need some time’ thing.

“What the fuck is going on with you?” Trixie asks and he looks angry. As Katya takes a few further steps, he notices he also looks drunk. “I just need some time? For what? Where did that come from?”

“Brian, are you drunk?”

“Well, my best friend has been ignoring me for four days, I felt like drowning my sorrows.”

Katya sighs and starts steering him into the corner where he asked his uber to meet him. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“I don’t wanna go home, I wanna talk to you. Tell me what’s wrong! Is it your anxiety? Are you not seeing your therapist?”

It pains Katya a little, the worry in Trixie’s voice. He knows how much Trixie cares about him, knows how their friendship is important to the other one as well. “Ok, listen, you’re drunk. Let’s go back to my apartment and then we’ll talk in the morning when you’re sober. Okay?”

“I am not that drunk.”

Trixie knows how to drink, that’s a fact. But his words are slurry and his eyes are blurry and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter because Katya is the one that wants Trixie sober, because he doesn’t want to bear his feelings out to someone inebriated with alcohol that might not fully remember it the next day.

“Please? I need you to be sober for this. For me.”

Trixie opens his mouth to argue but then he must see how important it is to Katya because he shuts his mouth in a thin line and just nods yes.

The uber arrives right at that moment and in total silence they both climb in.

*

This is the very first time that they have ever had an awkward silence os it is really awkward. The car ride is fast but the steps to his apartment seem to last forever as Trixie sort of clings into him and the handrail. It’s like he’s even drunker now than he was at the bar.

Katya opens the door and lets Trixie in and he kind of expects the queen to just fall onto the couch and sleep but he actually follows him around the apartment like a lost puppy craving attention.

“Are you mad at me?” Trixie asks at some point when he’s about to go to his bedroom.

“Brian…” Katya is tired and he really wasn’t expecting to have to deal with this today. “Didn’t we agree to talk about this tomorrow?”

“I know, I just… you seem mad at me and I’m worried. What did I do?”

Trixie looks tired and sad and drunk and Katya hates that it all affects him so much.

“I’m not mad at you, don’t worry.”

“Then why are you ignoring me? Why do you need space?”

“Brian, tomorrow, please?”

“No, I need to know. You can’t just yell at me then cut me off and then pretend nothing’s wrong because it is and you’re my best friend and I deserve to know why.”

“You are too drunk-”

“Stop saying I’m drunk! Just tell me already, oh my god!”

“God Brian, I like you, okay? Damn it, why do you need to hear it, it’s not like you don’t know!”

Trixie looks utterly confused at that. “I like you, too. I don’t understand-”

“No, I like you.”

It takes a few seconds for Trixie to fully understand, but then his eyebrows shoot up and Katya thinks his face feels hotter - is he blushing? Before he can think or say anything, Trixie moves forward and touches their lips together.

This is way more intense than any on-camera or onstage kiss they have ever shared. Trixie is kissing him for real, his hands on his face and hair pulling him closer, their mouths open and exploratory. Katya feels warm all over and he can’t believe this is happening, that they are actually kissing and he actually has Trixie’s tongue inside his mouth.

But nothing is perfect, and there’s one detail that ruins the entire thing for him: Trixie is drunk.

He pulls them apart and when Trixie makes a noise of complaint Katya cuts him off.

“You’re drunk.”

“Oh, will you sto-”

Katya denies with his head. “I can taste the alcohol.”

Trixie’s eyes blown wide at that and he takes a step back. “Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry Bri, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine. I just need… it’s fine.”

“Can I do something?”

“No, thanks. I just need… I just…” What he needs is a fucking drink, but he’s not gonna say that. He tries to calm himself, breathes a few times trying to forget the taste of alcohol and also the taste of Trixie of his mouth, and he doesn’t know which one is worse. “I need some rest. Will you be okay on the couch?”

They always share beds when they have to spend the night together, but Trixie nods nevertheless.

Katya gets him a blanket and a pillow and retreats to the balcony where he lights a much needed cigarette. He can’t believe that this actually happened, that they kissed and could have possibly fucked, that he was so close to what he’s been thinking about for months. He lets it consume him, the thought of Trixie right there on the couch, his fantasies playing out in his head and it actually happening, the feel of his mouth so intense on his own. He feels chills all over and he can’t quite stop shaking. He knows that feeling well, abstinence.

His cigarette is over just like that and he doesn’t feel better at all. In fact he feels worse. He’d been so adamant the entire time about Trixie being too drunk because he knows the effect that alcohol has on someone, how it clouds judgement and decisions even when you’re not shitfaced. And he knows that that’s what made Trixie do what he did, that he would never have kissed him otherwise, and that is not only a fact but a painful one at that. Because it simply isn’t fair to Katya that this type of shit happens, that he has to deal with the guy that he likes kissing him while drunk and regretting it the following morning. And he will because Katya is the embodiment of everything Trixie is not looking for in a guy. Katya is not a marriage person. Katya smokes. Katya is a drug addicted and alcoholic, even if recovered. Katya has anxiety and depression. Katya is simply not good enough. And Trixie has a boyfriend.

He drowns himself in his self-pity and the level of anxiety that reaches him now is so overwhelming that he feels lost. The last time something this major happened was during drag race and even then he doesn’t remember it being that bad. He’s smoked through a second cigarette already and it again did nothing, so the only thing in his mind now is alcohol.

He shouldn’t, he knows that, it’s been years and he’s so, so proud of his accomplishment in giving up drinking. But he needs to do something because he feels like he’s fallen into a pit that he can’t get out of, so without a second thought he enters the house again and grabs his wallet. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Trixie sleeping on his couch but he spends him no more than that as he moves to the door and continues on his way, never wavering, never stopping.

He comes to a stop in front of a liquor store and it’s in that moment, staring through the glass door to all of the helves that he realizes what he’s doing. He enters, walking calmly for the first time that night, and moves to the heavy beverages. He picks one without particularly looking at it, and it’s not because he doesn’t care, but because he feels ashamed. He hates that he’s doing this, consciously, but at the same time it’s like he can’t stop his body from moving.

He pays for the bottle and exits with it inside a paper bag, its neck tightly grasped between his fingers. He sits on the curb and opens the lid and inhales as strongly as he possibly can the smell from the opening.

And then he sits there, open bottle in hand, but doesn’t do anything.

The smell reminds him of Trixie.

*

He comes home two hours later, bottle still open and grasped between his fingers, but not a single sip missing.

His movements must wake Trixie up because before he can move to the living room, the other queen is standing in front of him with sleepy eyes. And then he sees the bottle.

“Brian!” He exclaims as his hands move to his lips and his shocked eyes display a mixture of sadness, anger, disappointed and guilt that Katya simply feels too exhausted to deal with.

“I haven’t drunk it. I just smelled it.” He justifies raising the bottle and shaking it, making droplets fall to the floor, showing it’s full.

“Brian-”

“Did you know you are really selfish?” Katya asks then and a bitter laugh marks his sentence. “I mean, I ask for space, and you can’t give me that. I ask for one night so you can sober up and you can’t give me that either. I ask-” He cuts himself mid sentence, realizing what he was about to say. “I didn’t think I’d ever have to be so blunt about it, Bri, but okay, here it goes: could you please stop acting like my feelings mean nothing?”

Trixie seems completely confused at that. “Like your feelings mean nothing? You shout at me for no reason, then you disappear-”

“For no reason? Stop acting like a fool, we both know it doesn’t suit you!”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Can you stop throwing insults at me and just explain what you’re saying for once?”

“Trixie, the whole entire universe knows I’m in love with you. I honestly don’t know how you can ignore it so well, it’s seriously a testament to how horrible the idea of being with me must sound to you. But really, you gotta stop pretending you don’t see it or it’s nothing and you gotta help me out here. You know I’m an addict, you know I can’t turn away from toxic things, you need to at least be my friend and help me.”

Trixie is quiet for long, torturous seconds, and yet he manages to come up with the worst possible answer. “You’re not in love with me.”

He says it calmly, with confidence, as if it is a known fact and Katya must be crazy. As if Katya hasn’t suffered with this feeling for ages, as if it doesn’t hurt him everytime he makes a pass, even if jokingly, and Trixie completely dismisses him. As if Katya hasn’t tried to stop smoking twice in the past couple of months thinking that it could make Trixie consider him.

“You don’t get to tell me how I feel, Brian.” Is all Katya can say, his blood boiling in his veins, his hands shaking as he is impossibly aware that there’s a full bottle of alcohol in one of them.

“You’re not in love with me.” He repeats, unphased by Katya’s response. “You’re infatuated. I’m your best friend, we’re close, you like sex. That’s all there is to it. Don’t confuse things.”

“You don’t know my feelings.”

“You don’t have feelings.” Trixie replies immediately. By the tone of his voice Katya can understand what he means, he’s talking about romantic feelings, the type that Katya has really claimed in the past to not feel. But it still stings, it still turns his stomach into knots as the words hit hard at him. You don’t have feelings. Trixie must see it then, in the way Katya strengthens up and his breath hitches, because he looks immediately regretful.

Katya doesn’t care though, not at this point, not after everything. “It looks like this nap sobered you up. You should go.”

“Katya-”. Trixie reaches out to him, but Katya moves past him with quick steps and heads towards his room.

“There’s cash in my wallet if you need it for the taxi. You can take it.”

That’s the last thing he says before slamming up the door of the bedroom, and it’s only when liquid hits his feet that he notices the booze is still in his hands.

He rests his forehead on the door, his breathing heavy and uneven as his eyes begin to tear up, and he wishes that Trixie would at least have taken the bottle from him before leaving. He doesn’t, and that somehow stings harder than anything.

*

Katya has been staring at the bottle for the past three hours. He put it in the farthest corner of his room and has managed to remain seated on his bed ever since and he has yet to put it in his lips. He wants to, so bad, his whole body trembles at the thought, but he’s not at the high of his addiction anymore, he’s been sober for a long time, so he has somewhat of a clearer mind than he had back then. Now he can think of everyone that this would not only disappoint but also hurt. He thinks of his mom, so proud that he recovered from all the bad things he did and rebuilt his life. He thinks of how he knows that even if he tells himself it’s just a sip, that it would be a lie.

He’s so tired,  his muscles are sore and his eyes are hurting and it’s in his need to sleep that he finds the resolve to take the bottle to the kitchen and throw it in the sink. He gets up, grabs it, and with one last longful look he moves to the door.

Next thing he knows he on the floor and he’s covered in alcohol.

“What the fuc-” He starts exclaiming but at the same time he can hear Trixie’s voice “Oh my god!”.

“Trixie?!” He asks, the fight from earlier momentarily forgotten as he tries to understand why he’s there at the doorstep of his bedroom. “What are you doing?”

“I- I was waiting for you to come out but I must’ve dozed off.” His eyes travel from Katya’s face to the broken bottle on the floor, to Katya’s clothes now all damp with the liquid. “Oh fuck, I totally forgot about the bottle, it’s all over you now. Shit I’m not making this easy, am I.” He moves his hands as if he wants to help but he doesn’t know how.

Katya lets out a genuine laugh for the first time that night, amazed at how ridiculous their situation is. He takes off the wet shirt and throws it through the bathroom door.

“What are you doing here?” He asks again when he manages to stop laughing and notices Trixie is still strict, somewhat uncomfortable even.

Trixie sighs and looks down. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier. And about a lot of things actually. You accuse me of looking down on your feelings and that’s precisely what I do like some sort of idiot.”

Katya stares at him for a moment and searches for the right thing to say. The thing that there isn’t a right thing. At the end of the day, no matter how open Trixie is and how much of an effort he puts in understanding and helping Katya, they are still left at a situation in which he is in love with his best friend and it isn’t mutual.

“It's… not exactly okay. But kinda. I mean, what are you gonna do, right? I may be asking too much.”

“No, Brian-” Trixie starts, but Katya has made his mind and he wants to say it all before he cowards out.

“No, listen. I need to say this. I’m in love with you. I have been for a long time. And it took me a while to realize it because I don’t usually do this, the whole feelings thing, you’re right about that. But I did now, for some reason, and I’m not really sure how to deal with that. But you know what, whatever, this is not your problem. It’s mine. And it’s not fair that I put it in your shoulders, because you are under no obligation to feel the same. Why would you, even, when I am so far from the man you want or the man you deserve even. So let’s make a deal. We forget this, all of this. I try to handle my feelings, I try to be okay with it, and you go on with whatever his name is and I promise, promise that I’ll be a better friend and that I’ll try to be happy for you, even if it’s hard right now, you just need to give me some time. But I’ll get there, I will. And-”

“Brian.” Trixie cuts him but the only reason he actually stops talking is because his hands envelop his. “You’re rambling. Just take a deep breath.”

He does, then, realizing Trixie’s right. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes and rests his head on the wall behind him. “Sorry. The alcohol thing, it just…”

Trixie’s breath catches in his throat then. “Did you…”

Katya denies with his head and they stay silent for a while.

“You asked me to sober up. I should have. I’m sorry for this.”

Katya opens his eyes then, and their gaze meets for what feels like the very first time. “It wasn’t only that. I mean, yes, the taste did… but anyway. The situation wasn’t completely favorable either. I can’t remember the last time it got so bad to the point where cigarettes couldn’t calm me down.”

“I take responsibility for that as well.” Trixie says then, eyes intense and sincere.

“Bri…”

“Christian is nice.” Trixie interrupts him, and it’s so sudden, such a different topic, that Katya thinks he might have fallen asleep for a few minutes and lost part of what happened. “He’s sweet and he’s very open about the drag thing and he’s respectful and he likes me. He’s exactly the type of guy that I’d try to make it work with usually.”

Katya can feel his heart constricting and to be honest he doesn’t understand why Trixie is bringing that up now , why he’s doing this when their hands are still clasped and he just poured his heart out. “And I was going to, I was doing it, actually. But the thing is, Katya, that there’s one, and only one reason why it’s so easy for me to ignore how you feel. And that reason is that up until now I was completely sure that all you wanted was to fuck me. I mean, you say it all the time. And why, why would I engage, why would I share my feelings with you when it was emotionally one-sided?”

Katya is silent, then, searching in Trixie’s eyes for the confirmation that what he thinks he heard is right. Trixie squeezes his hands, then, his lips forming a very small but noticeable smile.

“Brian, this is not the time for jokes.” Katya says seriously, because he might fully believe in joking about anything, but right now he can’t handle it.

Trixie just shakes his head. “I’m not joking. I’m in love with you, too. I’m just much better at hiding it, because I’ve had years and years of practice.”

“Bri…”

Trixie moves closer, then, their legs touching and their faces inches apart. “I am still sorry about everything that happened tonight and, well, before as well. But I’m a hundred percent serious here. I am in love with you and you are the man I want and you are in no position to decide whom I deserve because you tend to diminish yourself and you have to stop doing that.”

Katya tries really hard to hold back his smile, but it’s difficult. And upon seeing his perfect teeth, Trixie can’t help but approximate their lips in a tender kiss. The taste of alcohol is gone and Katya is surprised to find out he likes it so much better now.

“You taste even more addicting without the alcohol.” He says when they part, and Trixie laughs at the joke slash compliment.

“As guilty as I feel for making you go out and buy it, I am so proud of you for holding that bottle the entire night and not drinking it.”

Katya’s heart swells at that, because he’s been focusing so much on his weakness of buying it that he hasn’t recognized how hard it had been to not drink it at all.

“I love you.” He says, then, because it’s true and because he finally can without his heart constricting and because he’s pretty sure that’ll get Trixie to kiss him again and he desperately wants that.

“I love you, too.” Trixie replies, and it’s better than a kiss, but then he gets one anyway so it’s perfect.

They stay seated in the corridor in front of his room for several minutes, kissing sporadically but mostly just wrapping their heads around what happened, and it’s with a heavy heart that Katya remembers Christian.

“Wait, Bri… you have a boyfriend.”

Trixie turns his look to the window where they can see the sun has risen already, and he’s determined when he looks back at him. “Can you give me an hour?”

Katya’s blood runs through his veins at the thought that Trixie wants to go right now to solve this situation, but he tries to play it cool. “You don’t have to-”

Trixie just pecks his lips and gets up. “One hour.” It’s all he says before he’s out the door.

Katya remains seated there for another five minutes, in awe, but then he gets up and tries to clean the mess of glass and dried up alcohol from the floor. He then takes a shower, antsy as it’s been an hour already since Brian left, wondering if he’ll really come back or if maybe he changed his mind. He tells himself that it’s only the anxiety talking, but since when does that matter?

Brian is back an hour and fifteen minutes after he left and Katya is practically jumping in the living room with worry.

“Sorry it took so long. I had to sit through a compilation of UNHhhh moments as he explained to me why he saw it coming.”

“Oh my god, you’re kidding.”

“Nope, apparently he binged yesterday and actually wanted to have a conversation with me. Plus he was sleeping when I got there so that might have clouded his judgement.”

Katya laughs his wheezy and carefree laughter and it automatically brings a smile to Trixie’s lips.

“So, now what?” Katya asks as he tentatively walks across the room to hug him.

“Now I finally let you fuck me?” Trixie asks with mirth in his eyes and Katya smiles.

“Nope. Was I a regular boyfriend you’d wait for the next ice age before we had sex. We’re not changing the way you do things just because we are literally in love with each other. Won’t happen, not on my watch.”

Trixie rolls his eyes. “But what if I want to have sex?”

“Well, too bad.” Katya jokes as he shrugs and starts moving away.

Trixie laughs and follows him as they enter his bedroom. He grabs one of his hands and tugs at it so Katya will look at him. “Thank you.” He says with sincerity because yes it is different with Katya since they’re friends already and he’s been thinking about it for a while, but it’s nice to know that Katya knows him so well and is thinking of him.

“How about we just go to sleep and cuddle the hell out of each other? I mean I haven’t slept in forever and I’m pretty beat.”

They settle down on the bed wrapped around each other and it is the easiest and most intimate thing they feel they have ever done, even if they’re fully clothed and all they shared before closing their eyes was a simple kiss.

They’re asleep in a matter of minutes and none of them are worried. They’re in love and whatever happens, they’ll make it work.

(If Trixie decides he is ready for sex and wakes Katya up with a blowjob the next morning it’s entirely their business, though.)

fin

[brokenwinchesterr]

Some Things Never Change- Seth Rollins x Reader

This is my piece for @fan-fiction-galore and @thewriterformerlytaggedas  31 Little Wrestling Fics writing challenge. I’m not gonna lie. There was a few times I thought about dropping out because I had homecoming this week and tbh it kicked my ass. I had one day last week when I came home from planning where I just cried. It was such a cluster fuck and the people who were helping plan the dance we were doing weren't doing their part. I ended up doing most of it and I paid for most of the shit anyway. Regardless I made it through and I'm pretty proud of this. I also edited it but I'm not sure how good I've done so please let me know if something is fucked up and ill fix it!

I hope you all enjoy and please leave me feedback! I know deep down this isn't my best work but I really enjoyed writing it and I think it turned out pretty good.

Pairing: Seth Rollins x Reader, if you squint really hard Bayley x Corey Word Count: 4,448 (this is a lot more than planned) Warnings: Language, bullying I guess ( Corey is a real asshole) A/N: okay THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT. So as mentioned above Corey really is an asshole. I wrote him like that because in real life I hate him. I have never hated anyone like I hate him. Now I'm not trying to force you all to hate him and I’m not trying to say fuck you if you like Corey. I’m trying to avoid issues of people who like Corey by warning y'all.

IF YOU LIKE COREY AND DONT WANT TO SEE HIM GET KINDA SHIT ON DONT READ THIS!!

I’ve warned you all.

The life of an athlete was a though one. Constantly traveling and putting their lives on the line could be stressful. Being a professional wrestler was seemingly more taxing than any other athletic job because it's not just being an athlete it's being an actor. That meant that days off were rare. Days off when everyone could just hang out and have fun together as themselves were rare. That's how they all got themselves into this mess. They were in the town of Appleton; a place in Wisconsin, exploring some ruins of a house which is supposed to be haunted. That's according to some locals anyway. They had been sitting in silence until Sami spoke up.

" Whose idea was this anyway?" Sami asked. Seth immediately pointed at Y/N who had her head buried in her phone. She was trying to find the exact location of the house which was not an easy task.

" Literally everything about this is illegal!" Sami exclaimed, concern written all over his features.

" You're completely right, Sami, but it's the season of halloween and we have to be spoopy.'' Y/N responded looking up at him.

" Spoopy?" Bray asked, meeting her eyes in the rearview mirror. Y/N nodded. He just raised his eyebrows in response, and shook his head, before turning his focus back to the road. They had somehow managed to coerce him to driving; Sami sat in the passenger seat (though with a lot of protest. He always claimed Bray freaked him out) with Seth directly behind him, and Y/N to his left. Behind Y/N was Bayley, who felt the need to continuously play with her hair. She claimed it was 'as soft as a baby's butt.' To Bayley's right was Corey Graves, a long time friend of Seth's.

-

 They had been on the road for quite a while until it was becoming clear that the long drive was getting to everyone. By everyone, mostly Y/N and Corey. Tensions were at an all time high between the two who were, for some random reason, arguing about the show Supernatural; something Corey had never even seen before. So of course, Y/N being the die-hard fan she is began to get irritated because ,'' who was this idiot to say it's shit when he's never seen it before.''

" You know a show is shit when the bump it for another show.'' He shot back, talking about when the twelfth season of Supernatural got bumped for the first season Riverdale.

She took a breath, ready to destroy his claim, but she paused, and instead said," Y'know what Corey? I'm not gonna argue with you. I'm just gonna let you keep blowing smoke out of your ass because it's what you do best.'' You could hear in her voice that she was tired of the constant issues from Corey. She looked over to Seth, giving him a look that said,' I told you he was going to be a problem.' Bayley suggested they play the quiet game, and for the rest of the ride, they sat in silence.

Once they got into town, Y/N suggested that they should pull over because she still had to find the actual address of the house. She decided to call an old friend to see if he knew where it was located. Scary things and adventuring were his specialties.

"Hello?" Spoke a gruff voice through the phone.

"Elton! Hey I'm so glad you answered," Y/N responded," I have a huge favor to ask you."

" Sure what's up?"

" So I managed to drag some friends to that place in Wisconsin that I was telling you about. We made it to the town, but now I'm not sure exactly where to go and I was wondering if you remembered where the actual house was?"

" Oh, um yeah, give me a sec to grab my computer."

There was a short pause, some rustling, then some barking, which Y/N assumed was from Circa, Elton's dog, and then he was back on the receiver with a," Sorry. It was buried under a bunch of new shirts."

Elton owned a clothing brand and he was currently in the process of creating new products. It was something he'd been working on for a long time.

" You'll have to tell me all about the shirts another time, but right now I really need to know where the house is."

" Alright. So, when you first pull into town, your gonna want to take an immediate left. It's not gonna look like it's a road, but I promise you, it's there. Then the road is gonna continue for a few miles and then it'll come to a 'T'. Go right. Follow the road and you'll see the house. It's fenced off and it's a little bit of a hike to get to it, but honestly it's not that bad. I'm not sure how you're gonna get through the fence but I'm sure you'll figure it out."

" Awesome! Thank you so much Elton! I don't know what I'd do with out you.'' Y/N spoke a smile beginning to grace her features. She truly loved and appreciated her friends.

" You'd probably die.'' he responded with a chuckle.

" True. True.''

"Be safe, and I'll see you soon, yeah?"

" Of course.'' Y/N answered as she hung up the phone. A lunch meet up was already in her schedule.

" So what's the deal.'' Seth asked.

Y/N let out a breath," He said it's an immediate left on a road that doesn't look like a road but is actually a road. I'm assuming it's back the way we came just 'cause we've already been driving for quite a while.''

" There was a little opening between some trees not to long ago.'' Bayley spoke up.

" Then that's probably it! Great, now let's get back on the road.'' Sami said jumping into the conversation, while motioning at the car. Everyone loaded up and they began the shortish drive to the house.

-

Surprisingly they had made it without very many problems. The only thing was Corey’s constant talking, but when is it not a problem for Y/N.

" It looks more like ruins of a house than an actual house. I was expecting this huge thing.'' Seth said, motioning with his hands, leaning against the car door he just closed.

" Well appearances don't always matter.'' Y/N replied to him, poking his chest to punctuate each word.

" Are you trying to call me ugly with out actually saying it?" He responded pulling her in for a hug.

" Why would I do that?'' Y/N looked up at him.

" You never know.'' A small smile appeared. He leaned down and just as his lips were about to meet Y/N's, they heard Corey's voice." Alright lovebirds if we're gonna do this I'd rather it not be dark, so can we hurry it up?"

Y/N let out a screeching noise and looked to Corey,'' No one gives a fuck. Literally. We got here like, five seconds ago. Plus, we have no idea how we're gonna get through this fence yet.''

" We could probably hop it to be honest.''Seth said, running his hands up and down Y/N's sides.

" Um, I don't know Seth. Some of us are kind of short.'' Bayley said, speaking of herself and Y/N.

" We'll help.'' Sami responded.

Seth was the first one over, with Y/N passing the ouija board through the slit where the fence panels connected. Sami had a backpack that he through over next, and looked to one of the girls.

" Who's going next?"

They looked to each other and the fence. It was pretty damn high.

" Hey, both of you look at me.'' Seth spoke through the fence, sensing the fear. '' Its just like climbing a steel cage. You can do it.''

" I'll go.'' Bayley said after a few moments of silence. She looked as nervous as she was for her Mania match. Sami stood at the fence ready to boost her while the other three stood back to catch her incase she fell. When she reached the top it didn't take her long to drop onto the ground of the other side of the fence.

" Wow. I don't know if I'll be able to handle a real ghost if I can't handle this.'' She added, wiping the sweat from her hands. Sami pulled himself up and over next, leaving Y/N, Bray, and Corey on the other side.

" Your turn.'' Corey said, ready to boost her.

" Fuck you.'' She responded as she put her foot in his hands as a rest. Once she had almost steadied herself at the top, she felt Corey's grip on her leg release, and had she not had a good center of gravity she would have toppled to the ground. Instead she had managed to shift herself so she fell towards the other three in the group.

" Fuck.'' She spoke, feeling Seth's arms steady her on her feet.

" Corey what the hell?" Seth asked.

" I-I'm sorry, I don't know what happened.''

" He nearly passed out.'' Bray said finally.

" Why though?"

" I'm not to sure."

"Let's just.. get everyone on the same side of the fence please.'' Bayley said turning to face the house on the hill, as the other two men made their way over.

-

The outside of the house wasn't very bad. Of course, it was run down, the paint was peeling, and most of the grass and brush were dead, but it was two stories plus an attic, had a decent sized yard, and was probably the talk of the town before it was haunted and abandoned. To Y/N, all the caution tape and signs were no big deal, just a part of exploring, but of course, Corey couldn't keep his mouth shut. He went on a whole rant about how they could get arrested for this and how lucky she was that he didn't call their boss and complain that she was doing illegal stuff. Once they had managed to make it to the door Y/N sprawled out on the steps and groaned.

" This is my life now," Y/N started, speaking in a melodramatic manor, " I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it."

" C'mon you're fine.'' Seth responded pulling her up into him and pressing a kiss to her forehead. He had been keeping her close ever since the incident at the fence.

'' We were only hiking for like twenty minutes.'' Sami said questioningly, shaking his head.

" Do we really want to do this?" Bayley asked. She was the only other female on the roster willing to come with them to the supposed 'haunted' ruins. They were going to bring Dean as well but with some last minute plans with Renee they 'settled with Corey' as Y/N would put it. Everyone else was too scared.

" We'll be fine, they don't seem to angry.'' Bray spoke, stoically. Bayley and Y/N locked eyes, sharing a worried glance.

" Good to know buddy,'' Seth said patting Bray on the shoulder and walking to the door. Corey remained at the bottom of the steps. Before Seth could even reach to open the door they began to hear noises coming from inside the house.

" God damn it, why are we doing this!'' Corey finally snapped,'' and why the hell did you bring a Ouija board, you know how I feel about that shit!" he said motioning to Y/N, who held it in her hands. Him and Y/N didn't get along to well, that was for sure established, if she was with Seth and Seth and Corey were friends then that made her and Corey friends, kind of. They shared a mutual hatred that Everyone knew about and that was how their relationship worked. Hell even people who didn't know them knew it. The vibes they had when they were around each other were absolutely toxic. Couldn't they keep their feelings at bay for one night?

" Because it's Halloween time, stupid.'' She replied as if it were obvious, " we're at a haunted house, and it's gonna get dark eventually. Why else would I have it?''

" The house is not haunted.''

''Bet.'' Y/N began.

" Alright, Alright, enough you two.'' Seth spoke locking eyes with the woman he called his girlfriend. She shook her head mumbling a whatever and pushing past him reaching to open the door.

" I wouldn't do that just yet,'' Sami spoke hurriedly, before Y/N could open the door, " I agree with Bayley. Are we really sure we want to do this?''

" I'm 100 percent sure. I don't know about y'all but I'm going in. We just did all that hiking and not to mention the fucking fence.'' Y/N said forcing her way around Sami and into the house.

" I don't want to leave her here a lone.'' Seth answered, shrugging. Bray said nothing and walked in behind Seth.

" I want to see if this house is really haunted.'' Corey responded, following closely behind the other two men.

" I'm with you on this one Sami but these are our friends.. Do we really want to leave them here alone so the could possibly get hurt?'' Bayley asked walking up the steps and standing next to Sami.

Sami just shook his head and said," C'mon.''

The inside of the house was dirty to say the least. When you walked in, immediately to the left was a flight of stairs, to the right of that was a door, probably to the basement, and a broken-looking table. There was definitely a lot of random clutter in the house before it became abandoned. To the direct right, was what seemed like the living room, and when you walked into it and went left, the kitchen was attached at the other side of the room.

Everyone was mostly looking around the living room. There were a lot of pictures considering how long it had been abandoned. Y/N had decided that she wanted to go explore the upstairs floor. When you walk up the stairs it runs directly into a corridor with quite a dew doors on each side. She was assuming that the people who built this house either had a very large family or they had a lot of stuff. She noticed there were quite a few pictures on the walls here too. They were all of the same man. He was always wearing a party hat and had some other person or pet in the photo with him. Just as she was about to enter the first room she heard her name being called from downstairs.

" They're ready to play the ouija board." Seth said to her.

" Alright then.'' She said plopping onto the ground in the middle of the living room.

They all filled in the circle around her,watching as Bray set the planchette on 'G'.

" If you don't want to play or don't believe, leave the circle.'' He spoke solemnly.

Corey stood up leaving Bray, Seth, Bayley, and Y/N sitting in a weird-square formation.

" Be careful when asking the questions. If you're joking or don't want to know the answer don't ask it,'' Y/N added,'' follow my lead to start.''

Everyone placed two fingers on the planchette and Y/N said,'' Ouija, we are here,'' while moving the planchette in three circles.

" Okay. It's ready.''

" Who wants to ask the first question?'' Seth asked looking around the group.

" I'll go,'' Bayley spoke. Y/N looked at her bewildered. '' If I'm gonna do it, might as well go all in.'' She finished shrugging. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing mind and heart.

" Are there any spirits here that would like to talk to us?” Bayley asked, a small quiver to her voice.

They sat for a few seconds, waiting for something to happen. Just as Y/N was about to say something she felt a movement under her fingers and she shut her eyes, afraid to look down. Was this really happening? When she opened her eyes the planchette rested on 'yes'.

" Fuck,'' Seth whispered in a faulty voice,'' I don't want to do this anymore.'' He took his fingers off the planchette.

" No! You're not supposed to do that!" Y/N screamed, nearly removing her fingers as well.

'' Why? What's gonna happen? I can't just put them back on?'' He asked, fear evident in his features. Y/N could tell he was trying to mask it, but she knew him all to well.

" It don't work like that.'' Bray responded.

" Well, why the hell not?" Seth asked. Y/N was about to respond when a groan sounded from somewhere around the house.

" Old houses make noises. It's normal,'' Y/N said. Another groan was heard,".... right?''

" Of course they do.'' Corey said. But it wasn't in a sarcastic or rude way. That gave a little shock to everyone. It’s crazy what fear does to a person.

" Am I gonna die now or something?'' Seth asked.

" No, you should be fine. I'm not entirely sure though.'' Bray responded.

" Let's just ask another question.'' Bayley said quickly.

" When did you die?'' Y/N asked, trying to relieve some of the tension in the air. It was thick like butter. The planchette remained still, and then flung itself off the board and into the wall

" It didn't like that question.'' Seth exclaimed.

The front door which they left open was slammed shut, causing many photos to fall of their places on the wall. Everyone looked around waiting to see what would happen next. Crashes could be heard from the kitchen where leftover dishes and cutlery were crashing to the ground.

" Upstairs!'' Bray shouted, grabbing the Ouija board and throwing it at the wall. The group watched as it broke to pieces." Go!"

Everyone bounded up the stairs and Sami had made a hard right into the first room. Everyone stood, trying to catch their breath.

Seth opened his mouth to speak but the only thing that was heard was the sound of the door slamming.

The next thing Y/N knew, she was being thrown into a wall; the force of the collision had her seeing stars. She heard the fearful screams of Bayley as other object got thrown around the room. She had heard that playing the ouija board wrong angered spirits, but to this extent? It was a little much. What had they done wrong? Corey was the only one who didn't want to play and he didn't. The weren't being intentionally disrespectful and even though Bray was pretty weird when it came to demonic stuff she believed him when he had said that they weren't too angry. Why was he wrong? By the time she had regained her bearings, things had calmed down. Bayley wasn't screaming but she was sitting in a corner, letting the sobs overtake her and Corey had wandered over to her to try to calm her down. You could still hear objects being thrown around the rest of the house as different doors continued to slam. Sami looked as if he might have started crying. Y/N was looking around the room and noticed immediately that things were wrong. Bray was lying in the center of the room in a heap. Y/N also noticed that Seth was no where to be seen.

' He's probably in a different room.' She though, more like hoped, to herself as she raced over to Bray's side.

The last thing she needed was to have to explain that she got him killed because they went to a literal haunted house. She had noticed that Bray had blood running down from his nose. The moment she placed her hand on his chest to feel for a beat, his eyes shot open and he looked around, frantically, as if he were expecting more damage than that had actually been done. He knew one thing for sure. They had to get out of that house. She helped pull him to his feet and ran to the door. It was closed. In her head she was praying it wasn't locked. What would they even do if it was? No one would be around to hear them scream, let alone to save them. She breathed a huge sigh of relief when the knob turned. She looked behind her to see everyone up and ready to follow her next move. Bayley was clearly leaning on Corey, while Bray stood on his own, leaning his weight to one side of his body. Sami stood in the back ready for whatever may come, with his arms wrapped around himself.

What had Y/N gotten herself and her friends into? She was about to cry herself when the checked every room on the second floor and saw no sign of Seth. Everything in the living room and kitchen looked the same, except for one thing. The door that lead to what they thought was the basement was closed. Sami and Corey had gone to check the other side of the first floor, after leaving Bray and Bayley sitting on the floor of the living room. Y/N remained in front of the basement door. She knew deep down that they were going to have to go in there. There was no other option. To her, it didn't matter what the others thought. If they wanted to leave they could. She was not about to leave a man who she had spent the better part of a year with. He wouldn't leave her.

Soon Y/N felt the presence of the guys behind her.

" We need to leave, now. Let's just go down there, not let our fear get to us, and grab Seth.'' Corey said.

" What if he isn't down there?'' Sami asked.

" Are you fucking ser-" Y/N started.

" No I don't mean it like that. I just mean what if he actually isn't down there.''

Y/N was at a loss for words. She didn't want to think is he wasn't down there. He had to be.

" We'll cross that bridge if we get to it.'' Corey spoke reaching to open the door. He took a breath and swung the flat of wood in. It was dark, and seemingly cold; way colder than the rest of the house. Y/N had never appreciated Corey more.

" We got this.'' Sami said pulling a flashlight out of his bag. Corey grabbed the flashlight from him and took the lead. As the trio descended down the steps Y/N automatically had an uneasy feeling. She was ready to go home and curl in a ball.

The basement was full to the brim. There were shelves upon shelves of survival stuff. MRI'S, medkits, canned food, jugs of water. What the hell was this? One thing in particular Y/N noticed was a random door in the wall. Corey and Sami had checked everything during the time she was looking around. This guy must have been a real doomsday prepper.

" Nothing.'' Corey said, looking at her with an underlying sadness. This was his best friend. Y/N motioned to the door she had just been staring at.

" That's the only place we haven't checked."

" Then let's get to it.'' Corey responded, reaching for the door. Sami grabbed a steel bar from one of the shelves. Y/N looked at him.

" What? Just in case.''

'' What are you going to do beat the ghost to death?"

" Maybe.''

Corey shook his head heaving the heavy metal door open. Y/N peaked her head in and let out a gasp. Seth was in a chair with a party hat strapped to his head. Just as she was about to step in, a man appeared. He was wearing a party hat just like Seth's. Y/N recognized him to be the man from all the pictures from upstairs.

" Want to join the party?"  The thing spoke. Y/N nearly let out a scream before she felt some one pull her by the back of her shirt. She looked to Corey who had pulled her out of the doorway and away from the ghost. Sami had decided to chuck the steel bar and it 'hit' the ghost. The bar clattered to the ground. It faltered for a second and disappeared.

" I can't believe that actually worked!'' Sami exclaimed as Corey pat him on the back. Y/N ran over to the chair where Seth was beginning to stir. He groaned and opened his eyes looking at her.

" Hey. Oh my god. Hi.'' Y/N started babbling. " I thought you were gone.''

" No. I'm okay.'' He responded, letting out a groan, sitting up in the chair.

" We should go.'' Sami suggested.'' I don't know how long that ghost is gonna be gone for.'' He picked up the steel bar. Just in case. Y/N helped Seth rise to his feet and he placed his arm around her shoulder. They made their way up the stairs in silence, and as soon as Bayley caught sight of them she was up and asking a bunch of questions.

" Can we do this in the car? I wanna get out of here.'' Seth said as his grip tightened on Y/N.

" Oh yeah, of course. Sorry.'' Bayley replied. She pulled Bray up with her and then they set out to leave.

Y/N breathed a sigh of relief as Sami swung the front door open. She clung to Seth like she hadn't seen him in years, afraid he'd get taken from her again. Maybe actual haunted places were a no go. She was glad that at least everyone was a little closer than before.

Once they had made it back over the fence and into the car, everyone paused and took a breath.

" That was the fucking worst idea ever.'' Corey griped.

" I know, and I'm sorry. Looking back on it, I probably should've picked a fake haunted place.'' Y/N responded. Sami started the car and let out a little laugh.

" Now this is something I thought I'd never see. Y/N and Corey getting along. Sort of.''

" Ha Ha. Fantastic. Relish in it somewhere far away from here." Bray spoke up from the back.

" Okay, Okay I'm going.'' Sami said.

" What if we went to fright fest at six flags?" Y/N asked.

" NO!”

[rpf-bat]

The Ghost Of You

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Summary: Request fic for @bipolardonnie. “okay! can i request a non-sad oneshot about ghost!reader and revenge gee? i dont have any specific ideas in mind so anything is good! xx”

A/N: Not sure if I delivered on “non-sad”, but here ya go. 

“Wow, this venue looks like it’s really old,” commented a loud voice, drawing your attention.

So another group of musicians had come to the place you had called home since your death. There hadn’t been a show here in a while. The throng of young, living people here for the concert tonight would certainly make your haunt less lonely.

“Yeah, this bar was originally a speakeasy in the 1920’s,” the owner of the building said informatively as he unlocked the door.

“That’s so cool,” another voice said excitedly. “So, why isn’t this space used more often?”

“Well,” the owner confessed as he opened the door, throwing bright sunlight into your dusty abode, “some people say it’s haunted.”

“…..Haunted?” repeated the first speaker as he walked in. He was an oddly dressed man, with a partially shaved head and a bulletproof vest. Was this the fashion in the land of the living nowadays?

“Yeah,” the owner said nervously, entering second. “Why, does that make you want to reconsider performing here tonight?”

“Not at all,” grinned the second man you’d heard speak, and your eyes widened when you saw how handsome he was. He had long, black hair, and he wore a black suit with a red tie that was much more in line with the fashions you remembered. “We all love horror movies, so haunted’s a plus!”

Movies, you thought. Those had been a new invention when you’d died. Were they still silent? Or could actors talk in them now?

“Think we’ll see any ghosts tonight?” wondered a third man, who wore glasses and a nervous expression, as he entered the building.

You very much doubted it. Nobody had ever been able to actually see you. For the first fifty years or so, this had frustrated you immensely. You’d wanted to communicate, to tell people that you were here. But, most of the people you’d known in life were dead now. They had rushed onwards to the Other Side, not sticking around as you had. It was a lonely afterlife – but, by now, you were used to it.

“We don’t have time to chase ghosts,” a fourth man, with wild, frizzy hair, said as he entered. “We have to get started with soundcheck.”

“I’ll get onstage in a second,” the handsome one shrugged. “I gotta fix my makeup first, though.”

Makeup? you thought curiously. In your day, makeup was not something worn by gentlemen. You weren’t against the idea – you just wondered how much times had changed since your demise.

“All that white face paint makes you look undead,” the loud man chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s the point,” the dark-haired man grinned.

This comment perplexed you. Why would anyone aspire to be undead? You were undead yourself, you supposed. A soul that had died, but hadn’t moved on to peaceful rest. Some might even call you damned.

You hadn’t wanted to haunt this place for eternity. When you’d died, you thought you would find nothingness – an absence of all feeling. That was what you craved. You hadn’t believed in life after death until you saw it. If you had known you’d end up stuck here, perhaps you would have tried harder to cling to life.

As the other men left the backstage area where you sat, carrying their equipment towards the stage, you watched the handsome brunette as he applied face powder in the mirror. You’d used this mirror yourself, many years ago. Now, the cheeks you’d fastidiously kept soft and rosy had long since rotted, leaving only a skull behind. You shuddered when you thought of your body in the cemetery across town, vacant of the soul that still remained in the room where you had breathed your last.

“Ooh, it’s cold in here,” the man muttered to himself as he opened a palette of eyeshadow and placed the brush in a red hue.

Was it? you wondered. Neither cold, nor heat, nor pain had touched you in decades.

That was one of the advantages of being dead, you supposed. Another was that you could stare openly at handsome strangers without being caught. You drew closer to the man, waving a hand in front of his face. He didn’t blink. You weren’t surprised.

You looked him up and down as you watched him brush the shadow onto his eyelids. He had large hands, and what looked to be a strong body. If you were alive, you were sure your face would’ve become flushed.

“Hurry up, Gerard,” shouted the man with the glasses.

So, his name is Gerard, you realized.

“Sorry, I’m coming, Mikey,” Gerard apologized, walking out onto the stage. You floated behind him, following him. You remembered the jazz bands you’d watched perform on this stage once. You’d foxtrotted merrily across the dance floor, having the time of your life.

Those were good days, you thought nostalgically. I wish I’d lived to see more of them.

The music the strange men began to play as they checked to see if their instruments were working was nothing like the tunes you remembered. But, as you listened, you found that it was still rather beautiful.

“This night, walk the dead….,” Gerard crooned as the band launched into another song.

You have no idea, you thought to yourself with a wry smile.

“…..In a solitary style, and crash the cemetery gates,” Gerard continued to sing, “in the dress your husband hates….Lay down, mark the grave, where the searchlights find us drinking by the mausoleum door…..And they found you on the bathroom floor!”

It was coincidence, surely, but the irony was that you had been found dead on a bathroom floor. The floor of the women’s restroom in the back of this bar, to be precise.

It wasn’t a very dignified place to die, you considered in hindsight. You wished you had chosen a better one.

“I miss you,” Gerard sang. “I miss you so far…..”

You became melancholy, for a moment, as you wondered whether there was anyone left alive who still missed you. You were aware that your younger sister had died ten years ago, at the age of eighty-six.

You tried to distract yourself from these thoughts by listening to the rest of the band’s practice. A lot of their songs, you noticed, seemed fixated on the concept of death. It troubled you – as someone who had experienced it personally, you didn’t find death to be all that appealing.

“Hey, boys,” the owner shouted to the band when they were done. “People are going to start arriving soon, so if you’re done rehearsing, you can go backstage for a while until the show starts.”

“Alright,” the peculiarly-dressed man from earlier shrugged, setting down his guitar. “Wanna have a beer with me before the kids get here, Gee?”

“In a minute, Frank,” Gerard replied. “I gotta talk to Jim about something.”

Jim, you remembered. That was the owner’s name. You really should know this by now, but he came around the building so seldom. Even less than his father, or his grandfather (the original owner of the building) had done. Perhaps he was scared of ghosts. If he was, that was silly – you couldn’t even muster up the energy to make yourself visible, let alone perpetrate poltergeist activity. Not that you wanted to hurt anyone, anyway. Mostly, you just wanted someone to talk to.

You hovered curiously by Gerard’s side, wondering what it was he and Jim needed to discuss.

“You said this place was haunted, right?” Gerard asked.

“That’s right,” Jim nodded. “There hasn’t been that much ghost activity here, to be honest, though. People mostly just say that because a young woman died here, back in 1924.”

“Oh, yeah?” Gerard raised an eyebrow. “What was her name?”

They’re talking about me, you thought. It was nice to hear someone ask your name first. Normally, people’s very first (and often only) question was, How did she die?

“They say her name was Y/N,” Jim explained. “She was real young when she passed, too. It was a tragedy.”

“Did she work here?” Gerard wondered.

Jim had to think about this. He was used to being asked about the grisly details of your last day, not about the regular circumstances of your life. Part of you kind of hated that almost all of what people remembered about you anymore was how you’d died – not how you’d lived.

“Yeah, I think my grandpa said she was a cocktail waitress,” Jim recalled.

You hadn’t originally planned to be a waitress your whole life. You’d wanted to eventually leave that line of work for a more glamorous career. Maybe if you’d lived a little longer, you would have.

“She was dating a singer in one of the bands who performed here,” Jim illuminated.

“Like me,” Gerard smiled.

“Nah, nothing like you, son,” Jim shook his head. “He was in the Mafia, I think. A real bad fella.”

He was a jerk, you frowned. You hadn’t realized this until long after your death. When you were alive, you’d loved him – and you’d thought he loved you.

“He got angry, because Y/N had brought a guy friend ‘round to the bar, and he thought Y/N and this man were sneaking around together behind his back,” Jim revealed.

We weren’t sneaking around at all! you thought angrily. We were just friends! Why wouldn’t he just trust me when I said that?!

“Did he kill her out of jealousy, or something?” Gerard asked, alarmed.

“No,” Jim said sadly. “He killed the young man, and, well…..Y/N thought it was her fault. She couldn’t live with herself after that happened, and so, one night, she went into that washroom over there, and well……she took her own life.”

“That’s so sad,” Gerard gasped. He looked like he was legitimately about to cry.

“Well, it was a long time ago,” Jim said, patting Gerard on the shoulder. “In fact, since it’s 2004 now….it’ll be eighty years ago this year.”

Eighty years, you thought, stricken. Have I really been dead for eighty years?!

Jim walked away, but Gerard remained alone on the stage, looking out towards the dancefloor like he was trying to imagine you, and your best friend, and your awful ex-boyfriend, standing there.

You saw him wipe his eyes on his sleeve, and you realized he really was crying.

“Why are you crying for me?” you muttered softly. “You didn’t even know me……”

Gerard’s head jerked up, as if he’d been shocked, and his eyes went wide. “H-hello?” he stammered, clearly unnerved.

Wait a minute…..No. There was no way.

“Did you just……hear me?” you gasped.

Gerard’s eyes darted around the room, like he was trying to find the source of your voice.

“…………Y/N?” he asked finally, almost not willing to believe it.

“Yes,” you said softly, in shock. “It’s me. Hello.”

“……Hi there,” Gerard greeted, still looking freaked out. “Um…..my name’s Gerard?”

“I know,” you said softly. “I heard the others talking to you.”

“Oh, umm……ok,” Gerard said, trying to figure out how to possibly converse with a ghost as if it were perfectly normal. You were surprised he hadn’t run away screaming. Or run to tell his friends that he’d heard a voice from beyond the grave. Instead, he seemed to be legitimately trying to communicate with you.

It was a surprise – and it was all you ever wanted.

“Where are you?” Gerard asked. “I still can’t see you.”

“I’m standing right beside you,” you confessed.

Gerard whipped around, looking to his right.

“On your left,” you chuckled.

Trembling, Gerard glanced to his left side. He seemed to look right through you. You didn’t doubt that he saw only the dusty curtains behind you.

“It’s alright,” you shrugged. “Nobody’s ever been able to see me before.”

“Has anybody been able to hear you, like this, either?” Gerard asked.

“No,” you answered. “You’re the first one.”

Gerard sat down on the floor of the stage, as if he were still trying to process this. “Lucky me,” he murmured, running a hand through his jet hair.

He stuck a finger into his ear, like he was trying to clean it. “……..Maybe I’ve gone nuts,” Gerard said to himself. “Or maybe just done too many damn drugs.”

“You’re not nuts, Gerard,” you insisted. “I’m real.”

“And the story Jim told me? Is it true?” Gerard demanded.

“It is,” you frowned. “Every bit of it.”

“But, you probably don’t want to talk about that,” Gerard said immediately. It amazed you how he just understood.

“You’re right,” you agreed. “Let’s talk about music. I thought your band sounded really good.”

“Thank you,” Gerard said sincerely. “I wasn’t sure if you would like our genre, since you died a bunch of years before it was invented.”

“What do you call this type of music?” you wondered.

“Um…..I guess you would call the music we make post-hardcore?” Gerard surmised. “Though that label probably doesn’t mean a heck of a lot to you, since you died before regular hardcore really became a thing, either, huh?”

“I’m not familiar with the term,” you admitted. “But, I like the way it sounds.”

“I’m glad,” Gerard smiled. He had such a cute smile. You wanted to talk to him more……

But, suddenly, the frizzy-haired man from before walked out onto the stage. “Gerard, who are you talking to?” he asked.

“You can’t hear her, Ray?” Gerard asked, standing back up.

“Hear who?” Ray said with a confused look. “Are you ok, man? I heard you out here, talking to yourself, when there’s clearly nobody here. Are you……on something?”

“I’m not high,” Gerard snapped. “I was……”

He looked to his left again, as if he were wishing you would suddenly appear, so he could prove that what he’d heard wasn’t simply in his head.

“……Nothing,” Gerard said finally. “I’ll be backstage in a minute, ok?”

“Alright,” Ray shrugged, and walked back off the stage.

“Why do you think you’re able to hear me, when Ray, and the others, can’t?” you asked Gerard, perplexed by why he was different.

“Maybe it’s because I’m closer to the Other Side than they are,” Gerard confessed sadly.

“What?” you gaped.

“That is…..” Gerard took a breath, as if he were unsure whether or not to admit this. “I’ve been thinking about dying a lot lately.”

“Like……hurting yourself?” you guessed.

“Yeah,” Gerard confided. “I just…..I got all these kids depending on me, telling me I’m their inspiration. It’s a lot of pressure. And they all want me to be this crazy, debauched rock star. And so I try to be who they want me to be, and, well….getting into character for these songs means focusing on everything negative and bitter in my life. I already struggle with depression, so that’s not helping it. Not that you probably know what depression even is, Y/N. I don’t think they had a word for it when you were alive.”

“I know how it feels to want to make your life end,” you said sadly. “I know, because I did. I want you to know, Gerard, something I’ve never been able to tell anyone……I regret it. A lot. I wish I’d lived. I wish I had done more with my life, instead of throwing it away. I don’t know if you even care to listen to some dead stranger’s opinion, but…..I don’t think you should do it.”

“I think your opinion does count,” Gerard said, like he was beginning to think hard about this. “Because, you’re the only one who can actually tell me if it’s worth it. If I’ll get to see the people I love, like my grandma, when I die. If I’ll still be suffering, on the Other Side.”

“I haven’t really been to the Other Side, myself,” you admitted. “I just stayed here. There’s no guarantee you’ll be able to cross over, ether.”

“If I got stuck here like you,” Gerard considered with a bitter smile, “maybe we could be together. Maybe I could finally see your face.”

“No,” you shook your head, although you knew he couldn’t see it. “As nice as it would be to have a companion, you don’t belong on my plane, Gerard. You belong with the living. You’re just beginning to do the things you’re meant to do in this world. I can tell.”

“You really think that?” Gerard asked vulnerably.

“I really do,” you said. Your eyes would have been wet with tears, if you were still capable of such physical sensations.

“Ok,” Gerard decided. “If a dead girl’s telling me death ain’t a good look on me, I’ll listen.”

He got up, and strode off the stage, leaving you to your eternal quiet.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You watched him as he talked with his bandmates. He didn’t say a word to them of what he’d experienced with you. It was like your little secret.

Soon, the room was filled with teenagers in rebellious clothing, with Xs on their hands. They cheered as Gerard and his friends took the stage.

“We are My Chemical Romance!” Gerard shouted, pumping his fist in the air. “And this song goes out to Y/N! Your memory will carry on, sugar, I promise you that!”

The crowd and his bandmates alike stared back at him, as if wondering who the hell he was talking about. But, you were touched.

Ignoring the confusion he’d caused, Gerard began to sing again.

This night, walk the dead…….

[crossgartered]

P5R Liveblog (14/?)

Confidants good. (Haru arc end)

[[MORE]]

Mementos...

Baphomet, huh? Guess I'll try Kouga

Oh crap I forgot to resummon my fusion components

YES MORGANA HARU SHOWTIME

Aw, that's it? I thought it was going to be something wild based on what Mona said

This does actually make sense why she needed Mona's help, specifically, though

I really do like how they've changed Ryuji's ambush skill. It's way more optional now, and you get xp from it. And it seems like a persona will get experience if you stealth-kill a shadow that would give you the same persona? That's pretty cool

Oh, a Futaba & Iwai interaction! Not really something I considered, but tbh it makes a lot of sense! I'm down. Found family alllll around

Oh thank FUCK I'm not sure if this is a relocalization thing or if he says something later but I'm so glad that Mishima now believes me when I say that he changed his own heart without any stealing involved

It was really sad that he didn't think he was strong enough to divert from his course on his own. And that he thought I would lie about something as important as that! I'm glad that this doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Hopefully

It's too bad Mishima & Ann don't interact much, outside an apology after Kamoshida and a very short exchange during the school trip. I feel like they'd have a lot to talk about. Even if it's them dancing around Shiho and everything associated with Kamoshida. But if they got to talking about Thief stuff, in earnest, without the oh-surely-i-dont-know-what-you-mean, they could have a discussion about bringing out the courage within people's hearts. And requests, too, obviously. Hmm.

Oh what if he interviews her (as Panther!) For his book/documentary?? That a really makes a lot of sense and I'm into it and I want a short fic now

Dammit

Don't worry, Kawakami, I'm rank 9 with him. I have been very counseled.

HELLO YOSHIZAWA

LETS EAT LUNCH TOGETHER YOSHIZAWA

oh she's inviting Maruki as well. Okay I guess that's fine

...DID YOU TELL MARUKI ABOUT HIS OWN GODDAMN PALACE YOSHIZAWA

Oh, good, doesn't seem like you have.

Hooooooooo how are you going to answer this, Yoshizawa?

That's not really very accurate

*Iwai voice* YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL

It still boggles the mind that we never saw her when our hideout was the rooftop. I saw her talking to a teacher about taking care of the flowers on like one of my first days of walking around the school.

Maybe she had a club or something. Or studied somewhere for a certain time and then came up. Or maybe it only took a little bit after the first few days and we delayed enough that we came up after her. Did we really just miss each other those times? Seems weird

...

"This party's totally the best one so far!" Oh dear.

Listen, we know that Makoto's the one who stole the data, but Akechi didn't actually say he didn't steal it from her. I wonder if he also took some info from her? Probably not, but... It's a little weird

It's interesting to me that none of them consider that Okumura's Shadow didn't return to his real self before the Palace collapsed - that he was acting again when he started sobbing, and that he wilfully committed a final act of betrayal

Or that he was maybe a little too caught up sobbing to return before it was too late.

Or that he was hit by a chunk of debris or fragile machinery.

"That said, it's safe enough to say that you aren't the murdering type." Thanks, Sae.

...in the Featherman game, is the player character going to turn into a villain? Bc that's what it looks like. Lol

FINALLY KINDNESS MAX I CAN TALK TO SOJIRO NOW

No, dude, you should be going after her. She wants to hear she's wanted by you.

Yes, good, he comes up to talk to her on his own.

*CLUTCHES CHEST*

Hierophant rank 7 is an absolute treasure

Tfw you need a stat maxed to advance a social link and then the link gives you more of the stat on the ranks afterwards #thanksforthekindnessiguess

Shinya's voice...! It's still. Something. *Sigh*

"...Whoa! The mark of the Phantom Thieves! They hacked this site!" Hoo boy. Your voice actor, kid...they could have done better.

#LetShinyaSayFuck

Sae, you're gonna be so embarrassed when you learn "where [I] learned to handle a gun"

Mishima no

Futaba's canonically into DnD. Hell yeah.

: / Aww. I usually get max knowledge before finals. This kinda sucks. And I was so close, too.

Hmm. I'm don't think Haru managed to say entirely what was on her mind. Is that even her full wish?

Side note, but I'm actually really proud of her for visiting a counselor. She doesn't trust easily, and she doesn't take care of herself on an emotional level very much, I don't think. She kinda bottles it up and then relieves stress by using her axe, whether it's on wood or on shadows. She takes care of everyone else and never talks about herself, and avoids going into detail when people ask if she's okay. She's been raised to be dutiful and proper and there's a stigma on mental health stuff

And despite literally all of that, she goes and visits a counselor. Even if she can't figure out what she wants to say, she did that. I'm really happy for her, even if I'm also a little sad. I hope she got something out of that, even if it was just a moment's respite.

You know, I read a really great fic where the writer did Yusuke's social link but with Ryuji being there instead of Ren. And there was a p4 manga where Yosuke did the Naoki social link instead of Souji. It's really interesting to see the social links interact.

I wonder who would be a good choice for Haru's link. Yusuke would be an interesting choice - they relate on a lot of points, and he has Thoughts on business. Maybe that would change her conclusion at the end, though. But maybe if he's already had his Hope added? Hmm

Makoto would also be an interesting choice. I feel like she would start doing a lot of research and would encourage Haru to research with her. I wonder how good of a listener Makoto would be. The two of them have a nice dynamic, though. It's kind of an easy one. Also, this way she wouldn't have to worry about burdening her kohai - she tries to keep it casual but she does still think about it

Ann and Haru hardly ever interact. I don't know what they'd be like 1 on 1. I'll have to think on it more

I don't think Haru would talk to Futaba about this. Their perspectives are too dissimilar, based on life experiences. Plus, Futaba is a prodigy. They have some similar mindsets - the keeping busy to distract oneself, for example - but I just can't see her talking about this with Futaba 1 on 1. And for Futaba to be there for moral support! That'd have to be a wiretap/bugged phone situation. And lots of texting.

Oh, but Futaba could tell her if someone was doing something shady with finances. She's know a lot about this kind of stuff from when she did Medjed/Alibaba stuff. Hmmmmmm...

Food for thought.

I kind of thought that Ryuji would be the best choice considering how passionate he is, maybe I'm wrong about that

There's also Morgana. But I'll think about that later. For now, let's continue the game

I wonder how they changed her confidant skills. Hopefully they're more useful this time around. With more variety.

[yourlocalyorozuya]

Update plan for Fic Dump 3!(Warning: Looooong im sorry lol)

heyyyy y’all! 

so! i posted a thing yesterday regarding the way im going to post fics now: you can read it here but basically long story short: life sucks, writing sucks harder so ive started planning to write a lot of fics at a time and update all of them, instead of just going for months and then like updating. one thing.

Now the first two fic dumps are here and here! But the third fic dump may take a while, so i kinda wanted to outline what ive got planned for it right here cause its a doozy oh boi

so here we go! all the fics, plus their names(which are honestly so uncreative im probs gonna change them later...if i give a fuck) and summaries(also subject to change cause all of em are in really early draft stages cause i suck)!

((this is also if you want to drop me a line and go bitch update that one fic up right now DONT MAKE US WAIT YOU TEASE. or smth. via my askbox. you can also always make requests there too! anything goes, nsfw or not, any pairing, like anything goes as you can clearly see in this lineup lol))

Anyway the fics are under cut but here’s a summary: 

AKESHU: 3 planned

PROMPTIS: 2 planned

ARDYNOCT(ish): 1 planned

HIJIGIN: 1 planned

YAMAHIBI: 2 planned

ABESHIYA: 2 planned, 1 complete

CHROBIN: 2 planned

Summaries under cut!:

AKESHU(Persona 5):

Bedroom Warfare(Rating M+)

‘When did they meet? 

Akechi didn't know. Because he didn't remember.

Had it been a bad day? A good one? A normal one where he'd just wanted to relax and unwind for once?

So much for that.  He thinks to himself as he wakes up the next morning with little to no memory of last night. Little to no memory but enough of an inkling as to what happened.’ 

Aka the drunken one-night stand fic where they keep meeting for more one-night stands and try not to think about why. 

With perverted sentimentality:(Rating M)

The tension settles uncomfortably in the back of his neck, his shoulders. Like those taunting eyes, just out of reach.

Unidentifiable, ethereal, his fingers tearing through laughing shadows.

There, again, that fleeting expression in those dark eyes. Staring back at him.

Aka the social link analysis fic plus more kissing+what goes beyond kissing added because im (predictable) trash

With claws, teeth and crooked tongue [Chapter 2]:(Rating M+)

"Tell me."

The monster demanded. What else could I call it?

It was a creature, a monster, from the depths of the darkness under my feet.

The claws around my hand were sharp.

Heavy, red drops of blood fell from my wrist.

Words swirling in my ears, I barely feel that itching burn.

"What do you see?"

Aka the continuation of the demon!akira fic where Sae is tired, Akechi is confused and doesn’t want to admit it and Akira is a little shit. like yknow. in-game.

PROMPTIS(Final Fantasy XV) 

Hey there, Sunshine baby!:(Rating: T+)

By the time his alarm tries(and fails) to wake him up with its lovely opera of wailing rings and by the time his trusty Ignis alarm fills in, with his daily phonecall to rouse a reaction out of him, Noct wakes up to the bleary glare of the electric lights in his still-lit apartment, the mess of sheets and bottles on his bed-

and the extremely attractive and extremely naked man cuddled up next to him, with a leg over Noct’s aching hips and hugging him close. 

“...?!”

So much for that New Year’s resolution.

Aka that time that Noct thought that he had a drunken one-night stand with a very attractive boy(Prompto), but its actually just that same boy being a shapeshifting weredog that Noct rescued from the shelter and its kind of awkward to bring up the fact that he’s a shapeshifting weredog, so he’s now living a secret double life of flirting via human form and cuddles via dog form.

...Where was the problem with that again?

Barefoot on the coals:(Rating T)

Softly, they flit in its imposing shadow. Like gods of death in this ice-encrusted hell, not a sound, not a word, leaving death, leaving destruction in their wake. 

Softly, Prompto sees him approach. Knife in hand and glowing red eyes.

The face of Insomnia’s God. Pressing him against the wall. 

And that’s how he knew that he was going to die.

Aka the fic where Prompt was taken by Ardyn as a child, away from the Magitek factory and raised him as his ‘child’. And the one where a grieving, bereaved Noctis takes the helm of the remaining Kingsglaive, along with his brothers-in-arms, to wreak havoc on the kingdom that took everything away.

ARDYNOCT(Final Fantasy XV): 

Where Gods cannot see you or me. (Rating E+ for Explicit)

Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think. 

A desperate mantra in his mind, with cruel hands tugging at his clothes, baring him all to the violent, bright, pulsing lights. 

He couldn’t even if he tried, honestly. It’s all he can do to breathe. 

With those eyes watching him, all fake, fake pity for the rat that walked willingly into his trap. 

For just a second, Noct stares back. 

And then, he closes his eyes and stops thinking.

Aka that fic with the AU of Noct as the prince of Insomnia who possesses magic by making pacts with the demon!Chocobros, back in the time where he was 16, where he’d accidentally lost his virginity by letting some weird guy take him to a masked orgy party thing, full of demons. Oops. 

HIJIGIN(Gintama):

You try to make a ghost commit seppuku, your JUMP will be soggy for a thousand years!(Rating T)

It’s around the point of Kagura having her fifth bowl of chazuke and Gin returning to his seat after feeding the live mountain of fluff that they called their dog(and somehow now returning with his head split open) that Shinpachi finally snaps and ask, “What is this?!” 

“Chazuke.” 

“Not that, what is that?!” 

“Sukonbu.” 

“Since when does sukonbu go on chazuke?! But seriously, what is that?!”

“Chris Rock.” 

“How did we go from sukonbu to Chris Rock?! In fact, why Chris Rock?! In what way does he look like Chris Rock???” 

“Kazuya Nakai?” 

“The character name!! Say the character’s name not the voice actor!!! Enough, I’ll just say it! Why is the demonic Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi casually sitting here eating breakfast with us?!”

Aka the fic in which Hijikata for some reason keeps hanging out around the Yorozuya office, Gin is (mildly) annoyed, Shinpachi is confused and Kagura keeps watching too many nighttime dramas. Set after the events of the Shinsengumi Rebellion Arc.

YAMAHIBI(Devil Survivor 2)

Like Day and Night:(Rating T)

He sits back on the couch, the cat curled up on his lap. Quiet enough on its own, but still providing a sufficient enough distraction for Hibiki, considering that he has to reach down and pet it every odd second or so and risk being shot at in-game. His books abandoned to the side, buried in the cushions, with a discarded popsicle wrapper next to it. An early breakfast, probably.

Hibiki notices him then, and pauses the game completely(where was that during those intermittent cat petting sessions?) and smiles at him like he usually does. 

Marred slightly by the dark circles under his eyes, that quiet whisper that his voice had been reduced to.

“Welcome back, Yamato.” 

Aka the continuation of the day and night AU where Hibiki is afraid of the darkness, Yamato has a ‘persistent sensitivity’ to light, they share a dorm together and shenanigans ensue.

One secret for you to keep, more for me to speak:(Rating T)

As per usual, he stands in the shadows, away from the light. Quietly, away from the eyes of the public, among the crowd of sheep. Blending in, immaculately, despite his neat, well-maintained appearance; blue, white, gold among the sea of brown rags.

Perhaps it was his expression. It certainly matched those around him, all too well.

Surprise. Fear. Admiration, of the purest kind, almost like a child’s. Towards where his brethren assembled. 

The wolves, in the center, mindless at the sight of demons so much stronger than they could ever be. With gnashing teeth, with their own demons assembled in a ‘protective circle’ around them, the citizens. 

The wolf in the crowd of sheep, he knows better. He looks to where Yamato stood, matching his gaze. The fake surprise drops in an instant. 

And he smiles. 

Aka the expansion of the victorian demon lords AU, with Yamato investigating the murder of prominent demon tamers and Hibiki being the commoner half-brother of the Shijima family, who seems to know a lot more than he should.

ABESHIYA(Fukigen na Mononokean):

For every flower, I say to you(Rating K+)(COMPLETE)

Oh, how he missed the days he could sleep.

How easy it had been to just...close his eyes and dream. What a novel concept. How do  other people even do that?

His eyes were closed right now, but dreams wouldn't come so easily to him. Even fatigued as he was, weighing at his eyes, his bones, his very being.

Mostly because it was hard to do that with someone yelling in his ear.

"Abeno-san!"

...Dammit. He heaves a sigh and finally relents, opening his eyes.

And sees a curious face, mere inches away from him.

Aka the angel!Ashiya fic that someone asked me ages ago and i just started writing now cause im. trash. with him bugging abeno with flowers in his hair and they totally dont have any specific meaning what are you talking about abeno ahahahahahaha...ha

The Tale of the Morose Manbeast Chapter 9:(Rating T)

(currently being written)

Close your eyes and think that you’re mine. (Rating M+)

Even through the blindfold, he knew. He could ‘see’ through the sensations on his skin. 

The cold marble table on his back, from the gazebo in the back garden. 

The binding on his arms from the obi that he was wearing. 

The wind that picked up through his hair, quietly, so quietly. As if he was alone in the world. 

But he wasn’t. 

“Abeno-san?” 

He asks, of the hands under his throat, the lips on his cheek, the shuddering breath on his skin. The alpha’s scent, their heated breath, Ashiya’s heart pounding so fast that it scared him, all of it did. 

And yet, even with all of that, their kiss through cruel teeth, bruised lips, even then, it causes a hitch in his shuddering heartbeat, even then Ashiya’s weak to the scent of him, the person that he wanted.

And could never have.

Aka the omegaverse AU with Alpha!Abeno, Omega!Ashiya, classy rich house parties, a friendly Ashiya and an extremely possessive Abeno. There is probabl less plot in this than there should be.

CHROBIN(Fire Emblem: Awakening)

Stopping at the green:(Rating M+)

(currently being written) (yes its the threesome!chrobin request anon i gotchu)

Dollhouse:(Rating M+):

"I don't want to stay here anymore."

He remembered his own emotions just as clearly. The confusion. Had he heard him correctly? He remembers...he looked over at him then.

Robin's face. What...did it look like then?

And the look on his friend's face. He remembers that. The way Robin looked like he was about to cry.

"I can't ever come back."

Aka the fic with Rockstar!Robin, confused bi Chrom and little whispers in their little hometown through rumors, answering machines and kisses in the dark. 

....and that’s. it. wow this was surprisingly exhausting to write lol. so thats why the next update will take a while im sorry lol

i cant believe you even read through all this honestly im

well. thanks for reading! and i hope you have a lovely day!