#i dont need another book where the golden boy becomes controlling and evil and the angsty emo dude is actually the good guy along

[strawberri-syrup]

the soulcrushing realization that a book is setting up a love triangle

[fuckyoucanada]

this is longer than expected

So kind of FAHC thing but not? Where in they all have superpowers and are heroes. Except Ryan. Who is an unwilling super villain.

Ok so Ryan would like it to be known that he is NOT a super villain. He is a mercenary that is being falsely accused! He uses the moniker Vagabond for mercenary work and gets hired to kill some rich lady. So he does. And it turns out that the rich lady was the mother of the local super hero. Ryan doesn’t particularly care but then the hero gets a hold of one of his business cards (what? They sounded like a good idea at the time) that has a simple broken crown on it. So now the hero is like “some evil doer known as the MAD KING has killed someone precious to me. They are my ARCH ENEMY” and Ryan wants NONE OF IT. Suddenly the hero is showing up everywhere trying to fight him and stop his evil plans and Ryan was at the store. Trying to buy milk. It gets so bad that Ryan’s like fuck it. I’m moving

So he moves to los santos. The city is a cesspool of crime so he shouldn’t run into any superheroes there right?

Ha

The first week he’s there he gets cornered in an alley by some muggers. Now Ryan isn’t scared. He’s the vagabond these guys can’t do anything to him. But then suddenly his vision is fill d with bright spandex and he almost has a god damn heart attack.

Insert Gavin, aka the golden boy, a superhero who can manipulate light to shine like a fucking gold bar. Ryan is unimpressed. Gavin “saves” him and then a second hero shows up to save them both when a third guy comes up behind them. The guy touches the muggers gun and it instantly turns to dust (Michael, or mogar, can touch something and deconstruct it into dust. He can also make things explode but Geoff always yells at him about civilians and shrapnel so he steers clear of that part of his powers).

Ryan leaves while the two heroes yell at each other over something stupid.

He’s heavily reconsidering staying here when he goes to the store and then someone comes I and starts to rob the place. Cue ANOTHER encounter, only this time it’s with the orange and purple monstrosity that is rimmy Tim. Who can apparently turn his body into a viscous consistency???? And stretch??? Or, as Ryan also sees, toughen his skin to near steel and bunch a guy right in the face. When the tries to make a run for it, a tall guy drops from the ceiling and fucking SPITS on the floor. The robber steps in it, is instantly stuck to the floor, and falls face first (Trevor usually doesn’t go out, his super power of sticky secretions not exactly fun, but Matt ate something while in his wolf form and got food poisoning so he’s just doing what he can to help.)

Ryan leaves through the back.

He’s almost convinced himself that it’s best for him to move on when he runs into a third dynamic duo and promptly wants to shoot himself. He doesn’t even know who they’re fighting or what they’re trying to stop. All he knows are that one of the heroes seems to have tattoos that are peeling off of his skin to fight someone and the second is controlling a random ass Palm tree in the middle of the street to whack some asshole on the head.

He almost want to go back to liberty city after the chaos he has witnessed within TWO WEEKS.

He needs to relax so he goes to a small book shop in a part of town that’s not that’s bad. He just wants to sit at a table with a Diet Coke and read a god damn book. Except he hears a familiar squawk and lo and behold, the fort hero he saw is over in the corner, being yelled at by a man with a familiar irritated voice. They’re joined by a short buff guy, a man covered in tattoos, and then a woman in a Hawaiian shirt.

Ryan can’t believe his luck. Did he somehow gain an extra power of fucking shit luck!?

He somehow gets drawn into the conversation and while he hates the fact that he knows what their day job is, he finds himself liking the group. He knows there’s more to their group (sticky spit is missing for one) but Michael mentions a wife that Ryan is almost positive was the lady throwing dark magic around to save a kitten stuck in a tree on his tv this morning.

He hates how attached he becomes in such a short amount of time. Months pass and Ryan fakes ignorance when it comes to what they do. He also gets even more anal about what targets he’s killing because he doesn’t want to accidentally kill one of his new friends family members. That’s just not on.

and then his worst nightmare happens: the hero he was running from? SHOWS UP IN LOS SANTOS.

Now he has not only that psycho after him (when hes in his vagabond gear), he also has his friends who dont know its him under the black skull mask. He never goes looking for trouble, he is just out doing his job and is then cornered which results in him running away. a lot. he used to fight back in liberty city but that just gave credence to the idea that he was a super villain (which hes not; super villains try to take over the world and ryan has never made any attempt! hes thought about it but thats beside the point).

plus he doesnt want to fight his friends. he actually likes them. cue shenanigans as they chase him through the streets.

something happens during one of these chases where ryan gets life threatning injury and the heroes think hes dead. except, ryan gets up with a HOLE IN HIS CHEST and flees the scene.

because ryan also has a power; immortality (deadpool flavored: he cant die. u can cut off his limbs and they just regenerate. so his power is more like weird regeneration than anything, but he thinks immortality sounds cooler).

and then i never really thought about what happens after but yeah that^