#i dont mind the process i just dont like how it ends up looking yknow

[hools]

Sorry if this is a weird question, but how do you come up with your drawings? What does through your mind while making them? I find your compositions so gorgeous and intriguing but I can't really figure out how you approach things since everything's very shifty and abstract. It's really gorgeous work, I'm so glad I discovered your art :,)

hey first of all this isnt a weird question at all & i'm really glad you enjoy my art heheheheheehe. there's an incoming large largely unformatted block of text that i hope you dont mind!

Honestly there are a billion things going through my mind at a time while I'm drawing and they all sort of bump into each other and cancel each other out like opposing particles. If you've seen any of my streams i'm usually very fast and iterative in a lot of my process and i rarely ever slow down even past the early parts like thumbnailing and sketching. i kind of let my hands do the talking more, yknow? but even then theyre never talking about a single thing at a time. everything interacts with everything, which is probably why i always end up getting lost and meandering. composition is not independent from color & value and neither are they from texture and perspective. its hard thinking of all of the ways they mesh and react to one another so i spend less of my energy thinking and more of it doing, and then assessing once something interesting comes about it. i guess then i prioritize my Hand Movement Actioning and Eye Vision Seeing over my Brain Neuron Assessing. but even though iterations can come and go quick this kind of informed throwing-against-the-wall isn't really the Fastest. but its fun. and you get to stuff all the unused ideas in your pocket for later.

even though i did say how connected everything is i always seem to start with composition. it kind of affects and informs everything the most at least on an individual piece level. with thumbnails & composition in general i think youre supposed to think huge right. so i Always think huge. push everything as much as you can. start with a crazy angle (not necessarily angle meaning "perspective" but like an angle between two lines) and border your scene within it. take an already steep foreshortening and steepen it further with the transform tool & see what shapes form from the empty & filled space. shrink your subject to only fit 3/4ths of the canvas and build around it to make it work. blow things up (enlargen) and blow things up (remove & obliterate). with composition you have so much room for fuckery if you give yourself the grace to accept the fuckiness.

and i guess this freedom to fuck around and iterate and build and build and build upon comes from how most of the time my initial ideas are very. vague? abstract like you've said. sometimes its Just a song or a song lyric and nothing else (no characters to attach to just the feel and my gut). sometimes its a less than 5 word phrase i felt strongly about throughout the day. in my me-only discord server i have messages in #to-draw channel that just say shit like "something about guitar straps" "thanks for knowing me!" "angel don't look at me" "DITHER QUEEN" (<-been meaning to make something with that). for things that have specific guidelines i spend more time thinking conceptually (the "rare animal" coelacanth drawing being an example) but otherwise it mostly comes out after. again. the first strokes. after you put the meat and bones on the canvas. an artist at a workshop i was at last year when i was in my own head about Needing to have a fleshed tangible Profound concept before being able to start something told me not to underestimate the stories that can be told just by your hands. and i think thats what stuck with me the most.

& one last thing i wanna mention is how despite how much i revel in the chaos of the process ive found how important limits are. i don't like cutting back on everything but i like cutting back on some things. sometimes i cut out backgrounds for solid fills and i love them that much more. sometimes i have little subconscious rules in a piece that i try not to break to keep a little level of consistency. if somethings a big wonderful mess already then i love a limited pallet and i love keeping parts empty and i love being able to breathe a little. yknow. but still go over the top in the other parts you have so much permission to. less is more but have a little more in your art than less. YKNOW?

but yeah thanks again for your kind words and wanting to listen to me talk. i havent been drawing much at all so these arent too fresh on the mind but i think i got a lot of what i wanted to say out. i hope u and others can get things out of this! if i made any sense <3

[ilovejoll]

OKOK BIG DORIAN EXPLANATION SO UHHMM TO EXPLAIN THIS I ALSO NEED TO EXPLAIN HIS FAMILY KIND OF!!!

(disclaimer some of this is speculation. he was only in two scenes in this game let me breathe)

He has a mother (Rhinedottir) and four siblings we know of but im only talking about two of them: Durin and Albedo.

Rhinedottir is an Alchemist from Khaenri'ah (u probably know abt it but in short place the archons destoryed bc of celestia. rhinedottir is one of the sinners who lead to that)

She created life. she made lots of things but the ones we know of are elynas, golden wolflord, durin, dorian, and albedo.

Durin is a giant dragon with toxic blood, and dorian/albedo are human. Rhinedottir made dorian as a prototype to albedo (before khaenriah fell also!! albedo was made after) for whatever reason she determined he was a failure, and fed him to durin. his brother. like any normal mother would yknow.

durin was later killed(?) by dvalin/stormterror after he went insane and destroyed mondstadt. he fell onto dragonspine and his bones are still there. Durin is NOT TECHNICALLY DEAD (thats very important) hes "slumbering"

Durins toxic blood, likely because hes coming back to life (WINK WINK) brought dorian back to life. Dorian, upon seeing albedo getting to live a happy, fufilling life, dorian became very jealous. however, he believed he couldnt just live his life now. he believed his only way was to kill and replace albedo (he hardly knows anything else.)

now, albedo does NOT live with rhinedottir. she left a while back thats a whole other thing this aint about her!!

so albedo and the traveler meet during some kind of event in the adventurers guild idrc abt this part it doesnt matter. but albedo finds his workshop RUINED. things are thrown around and his alchemy notes are missing. they go looking for the theif and narrow it down to a cave. albedo goes in, the traveler stays outside

dorian, disguised as albedo, shows up to talk to the traveler a while later. First thing he does weird is greets the traveler with just yes. (albedo doesnt do that!!! hes quite friendly!!!) and hes very awkward in the whole interaction. paimon and the traveler collected some starsilver and asked him if they should throw out the bad parts. he responds with a little rant that i know almost by heart so:

"Yes, the sorting process IS necessary. humans are such practical creatures. they only want those things that are good. once theyve found the difference between good and bad, they will NEVER stop comparing things in their minds"

so. a lot to unpack there even if it doesnt seem like it. First of all, he refers to humans seperate to himself. "but hes not human!" is a decent argument and yeah its true he was artificially created by alchemy but its also interesting because A) albedo refers to himsel as an "artificial human" and not inhuman as a whole. and B) rhinedottir is human. thats a very vital part of her and albedos character. this is a jab at rhinedottir as much as it is a representation of how he feels inferior. this is WHY he believes he cant live his own life.

On top of that, hes convinced rhinedottir is like all humans (generalizing them very quickly) so he believes they wouldnt accept him most likely. after this the traveler goes to find bennett when hes yelling and dorian leaves while theyre not looking.

i dont know if this is dorian or whoppy (we'll talk about him) but theres also a scene where this little kid (joel) is led away by a fake albedo and when eula confronts him, he attacks her and flees.

now there are three albedos: the real albedo, dorian disguised as albedo, and the fell flower.

In order to distract albedo, dorian uses the notes he stole + durins blood to create a whopperflower. not just a whopperflower, a whopperflower who can replicate albedos appearance. this whopperflower is the fake albedo you see for the rest of the event. at the end, the whopperflower attacks the event gang (traveler, paimon, amber, eula, and bennett.) and they fight him off. when hes about to attack again, albedo impales him and he turns into this thing

big whopperflower.

the traveler kills(? i think idk) him and they settle everything going on. but dorian is still alive. at the end, albedo pieces together that this is his brother (he doesnt say that exactly btw he doesnt rlly even consider durin his brother) and says that in dorians place, hed have done the same. and dorian is seen watching him from the top of the mountain. albedo draws his sword and thats where the cutscene ends and ur just left with the gameplay for primos.

now dorian is not confirmed dead (to ME hes in the fatui but yknow. OR THE ABYSS ORDER. dorian please join the abyss order we need you... i love you abyss order) and theres a lot that can be drawn from his general lore if you SQUINT. A LOT. its most likely that if dorian IS his name, he gave it to himself, as the golden wolflord (also discared altho not killed by rhinedottir like dorian) was never given a name. also the amount of interactions hes had with durin could imply he was somehwat not in his right mind (durin lore is complicated and would take a whole other rant but his toxic blood can corrupt ppl possibly)

i, of course, choose to believe that if durins blood had any effect, it was just making him bold. considering durin himself, under the effect of his own blood, had no idea he was hurting people.

IM OUT OF THINGS TO SAY THAT ARENT JUST HCS LIVE LAUGH LOVE DORIAN THANKS FOR COMING TO MY DORIAN TALK!!!!!!

OK. OMG. FIRST. THAT WAS ALOT TO READ WHICH I LOVE BECAUSE I LOOVEEE READIMG THWNKYOU SO MJCH FOR YHIS LING YUMMY DELICIOUS PARAGRAPH. A SECOND. OH.MY GOF? THIS SI FUCKIMG AWESOME? I LEGITIMATELY DONT REMEMBER SHIT ABOUT GENSHIN BUT THIS SIS SO GOOD LIVE LAUGH LOVE DORIAN. YOURE FAMOUS.DORIAN. UOURE FAMOUS. You’re the captain of explaining thqnkyou I will be putting this in my notes for later. <3

[stunfiskz]

.

[sapphic-bifrost]

looking forward to feeling safe being vulnerable with someone again. looking forward to someone loving me because they want to, and not just because i asked. looking forward to trying hard and having someone actually actively help me figure things out. looking forward to more than a hypothetical and a promise. looking forward to hearing someone say “i dont know” and actually follow it up with “but this matters to me. you matter to me, and we’ll figure it out together”. and then actually trying to figure it out with me. looking forward to feeling heard and not like im waiting to be disappointed. looking forward to actually being enough for someone.

[riotlain]

TWD crushing on (an Oblivious) Reader

YOOO WE KINDA DUMB

upset there isnt alot of twd x male reader fics that arent smut but anyways

my very select few men💀💀 i might do a part 2 i just wanted to post

THIS IS A NWLNW BLOG!! WOMEN DNI

Daryl Dixon

Our man Mr. Daryl Hiding His Emotions Dixon 🫶🫶

Its fine you didn't notice at first

He seems like he kinda hates you from how quiet he is. Quite the opposite

Being quite in love with someone who isnt a woman is kinda just like. Not processed in his mind??

He didn't know how to feel at first

But eventually he confessed to Carol about how he feels (she suspected something but anyways)

To be honest he had a plan to ask you out

But was extremely extremely hesitant

"They prolly don' even like guys" He'd say

I think both of yall are oblivious

It was a group effort to get yall together

Like all these long ass runs, leaving gifts saying it was from the other

You probably had to be the one to confess ngl

Glenn Rhee

Glenn aint too obvious. Thats what he tells himself atleast

Hes very obviously crushing on you. The only one who cant see it is you

He'd pull harmless pranks, compliment you, help you around, usually adding on a lil wink for lil extra

Yet you still didn't get it. You just thought he was being a goody good friend

Especially since its a bit hard to find any queer folk that like you around here IN FUCKING VIRGINIA/GEORGIA

"You look nice today, Y/n." *Shitty Glenn wink* "Oh thanks man!"

Your obviousness is apart of what Glenn absolutely loved about you though

It gives him time to really think out his lil confession

Which took a while but he had it down! Flowers!!

Who doesnt like flowers??

Well Glenn originally planned to give you flowers. That was until Eugene let it slip that he likes you one time💀💀

You ended up interrupting Glenn like mid confession just because you knew

Simon

Negan teases him for his obviousness

Simon would yell it to the top of his lungs if he must (he probably has to)

Always gives you any ice cream or first shot of a drink

He also always has his arm around you or is LITERALLY FLIRTING WITH YOU

You couldnt tell tho. he looked gay and homophobic to be honest.

So you just didnt say anything

Simon, running out of ideas, asked Negan for any ideas

Since its, Negan what do you expect? Something cute and romantic?? No

SHOW OFF YOUR SEXUAL PROWESS OF COURSE‼️

So with this in mind Simon approached your room with some drinks and did what he does best!

Sexual jokes about his dick and such seeing if you'd take the bait

You didn't you just got a bit flustered and laughed along

Until yknow he actually just went with the impulse and kissed you

FINALLY YOU GET THAT HES LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU

Owen (Wolf)

The king of being either really obvious or the complete opposite

Depending on your guy's situation then heres the various ways itll go down

Owens a prisoner in Alexandria? He'll tell you nearly everything about him. Along with the fact if he gets out of there hes taking you with him!

How romantic!!

If youre apart of the Wolves then you have for sure caught his eye!

He'd do anything for you and I mean anything! Well as long as he's yknow still in control of the situation.

You cant ignore him either. He'll make as much noise as possible for you to go back to talking to him.

Owen will try to stalk you to see what you like

Or try to get that info out of you through a weird interrogation

You dont notice though. If anything youre a bit weirded out that this kinda crazy cult guy is like asking you your favorite color but anyways

Eventually in the middle of one of these investigations hes just gonna kiss you (probably quite roughly too)

"I like you. So youre mine now." "I- Ok sure??"

[akunya]

"let me do you a favor."

pairings: trey clover x m!reader

summary: dinner tastes best when someone feeds it to you.

tw: FEEDING/FEEDERISM(?), persuasion/manipulation, frottage, dubcon. regression(?), CARETAKER!TREY, comfort, subspace/little space(?). SOMNO, praise, guilt trip, etc.

notes: i have been working on this for a bit, and finally got around to finishing it for his birthday. trey is my favorite twst character so i hope this does him justice.

i feel like its ooc, but whatever. enjoy! : )

"you have to eat, yknow that right?" trey frowned, his eyes never leaving your hunched form. it was late at night, at this point everyone had retreated to their dorms to get some good nights sleep; every student except for you. "its important - much more important than studying."

you shrugged in response, flipping past another page of the heavy textbook in front of you. your desk was littered with crumpled papers, eraser shavings, post-its askew, and everything else that would make riddle scream his head off. trey had taken note of you not being in the cafeteria for lunch. while he assumed you were busy, his mind started to worry as he realized you didn't show up to dinner either. in fact, now that he thought about it, trey hadn't seen you all day.

the upperclassman had always felt the need to take care of others, and you were no exception. while he would deny hi true intentions about being heartslabyuls big brother figure, deeply inside, he knew it was somewhat true. you couldn't fathom why he cared so much about your well-being while he had so much to deal with on his own. wouldn't it be easier to just leave you be? wasnt he tired himself after such a long day? you started brooding in your own thoughts. trey sighed, not moving from his spot next to your desk, hoping that if he stayed long enough you'd eventually give in. your eyes darted from word to word, silent, adamant on finishing your study session before you allowed yourself a bite to eat. you had to pass this time, or it would seriously be off with your head.

you were insistent on finishing your book before having a snack — until trey had spoken up. "what if fed you instead?" your brain had taken a moment to process what he said, blinking a few times. the offer made your thoughts stop in their tracks, ripping yourself away from the book to look at trey with wide eyes. he smiled, pushing up his glasses, unshaken from how surprised you were. "i can make you something and feed you. that way you wont have to stop reading."

you couldn't help but feel embarrassed. the way he didn't even stutter to offer something so domestic (in your eyes, at least) to you made your cheeks flush, clearing your throat awkwardly. was this another one of his jokes? was cater around the corner getting ready to laugh at you with his phone in hand?

before you could hesitate any longer, your stomach growled loudly, making the both of you stare at each other for a moment before laughing. "..s-sure, if you really want to. there's really no need for that though."

"dont worry, its no big deal. i have some leftovers from what i made for dinner. ill grab them and come right back." with a polite nod, you muttered another ‘thank you’ before continuing your boring textbook about potions and whatnot for your test. your fingers tapped on the smooth wood of the desk as you read.

you wouldn’t admit it, but you enjoyed being doted on every once and a while. it felt nice to be cared for — letting your worries slip away as someone else’s hands did the work for you. it was tough having so many responsibilities. thinking again about how trey not only takes care of himself but riddle and the dorm as well, you really wondered how he did it all. shouldn’t you be the one offering him comfort and care? you sighed, leaning back in your chair and staring at the ceiling.

“whoever ends up with him is one lucky guy, that’s for sure.” you mumbled under your breath, your eyes drifting close for just a moment before a knock came from the door. “come in!”

trey nudged the door open with his foot, holding it open just enough for him to slip through with the tray of food in his hands. your mouth started to water, your room being filled with the delicious smell of treys cooking. you didnt get a good look at the dishes, but it didn't matter - your stomach was rumbling all the same. he chuckled lowly, placing the tray on the coffee table momentarily. “it’s nothing too complicated. baking is usually my specialty, but i figured you wouldn’t want to eat cake for your first meal of the day.” you shook your head, quick to quip back at his comments. “no no, don’t worry about it! it looks delicious, trey. id eat anything you make.” there was a small moment of silence, and your words had sunken in, making trey laugh again. “is that so, y/n?”

the vice dorm leader’s eyes wandered towards your desk and back to the tray of food. “would you like to move from your desk, or should i scoot closer to you?” either way, you were going to be flustered by the intimacy of his hands holding your chin in place, shrugging nonchalantly. “do whatever you feel comfortable with. you’re doing me the favor after all.” you were in this deep anyways.

trey nodded, starting to ponder about how he should go about this. he didn’t want you to stop reading and studying (although he truly wanted you to take a break from it) since it seemed important to you. however, how is he going to get close enough without dropping food on your precious textbook? it would be a shame to go back on his offer just because it needed some extra maneuvering. with all of the extra problems the students of heartslabyul create, he wouldn't give up that easily. treys eyes practically lit up with a solution. he cleared his throat before speaking up.

“could you sit on my lap, y/n?” if you listened closely, you could hear the tinge of anxiety in his voice. it was a risky offer, after all. you felt your own heart flutter. unable to muster the courage to speak, you nodded instead, getting out of your chair and out of the way so trey could take the seat.

and boy, were you staring at him like a pervert. his bigger build practically dwarfed your worn little chair, filling up the seat nicely unlike yourself. his legs were spread open comfortably, and for a split second you swore you saw something stiff in between them. he was wearing a plain red colored shirt with dark grey pajama pants. how cute.. you smiled, taking note of the little red clovers printed on the fabric. even heartslabyuls hardworking senpai had cute clothes to relax in. the more you stared, the more soft he looked in your eyes.

trey cleared his throat, disrupting you from your thoughts. he patted his thighs, closing them slightly so you'd have somewhere to sit. "if you sit like this, it shouldn't be too uncomfortable." his soft hands moved your legs across his lap, angled sideways as he faced forward. he took the heavy textbook from the desk and placed it on your lap, moving the tray of food to rest on the desk instead. scooting closer, the position would seem uncomfortable to anyone else, but you truly didn't mind. the extra body heat from being pressed so closely to the man made you relax. "comfy?"

you nodded, going back to silently reading your book. why couldn't it be like this all of the time? you felt oddly safe, flipping the pages in your book as you read. trey reached over to scoop some of the food onto a fork, hand holding the small of your back while he moved. your eyes were glued to the page still. the cool metal of the fork tapped at your lips, prompting you to open without hesitation, biting into the warm tasty leftovers you had missed out on a few hours ago. "do you like it? i can use my magic to make it taste like something else if you don't."

you shook your head, swallowing first before speaking. "theres no need to, trey. it tastes really good. you're amazing in the kitchen." it was his turn to blush, not expecting the compliment in such a vulnerable position. having a cute boy sit in his lap didnt happen everyday after all. he didnt say anything in response, feeding you another forkful.

you two stayed like that for a while as you read. the silence was comfortable, to say the least. the upperclassman didnt care asking mindless questions, letting you read in peace as he fed you. while the food was more than splendid, a few forkfuls was enough to make your stomach begin to feel full, so when trey had held the utensil expectantly in front of your lips and you didn't budge, he frowned a little. "what happened? you dont like it?" his hurt face tugged at your heart strings.

you panicked, eyebrows raising in confusion. "thats not it! im just starting to feel full, so..!"

his saddened expression made your heart sink. why did you feel so empty? even though you were reading, the words were blending into one another and you barely processed anything you had just read. why did he look so disappointed? was he actually that worried about you?

"you only have a little bit left. you can do it, right? you barely ate today.." his voice was gentle, almost as if he was convincing you, sweet and persuasive. you found yourself shakily opening your lips for another bite, much to treys delight. he made sure to take note of the blush on your cheeks.

"thats it, good boy. i knew you could do it." the senior praised you, ruffling your hair as he fed you. trey wasn't stupid - he knew he had a way to persuade others while making himself look like the good guy. he's guilty of doing the same thing to riddle more than a dozen of times. if being a bit selfish meant getting what he wanted, then he didnt mind.

embarrassingly enough, your dick twitched at the pet name, too. 'good boy'? no ones ever called you that before. it made you feel.. good, to say the least. small, but safe. you found yourself itching for more praise from trey, wiggling a bit on his lap but not denying any food when he had gathered some more on the fork. trey didnt even bother correcting himself or making an excuse. he saw how you relaxed, how you looked so eager to please. "perfect. just like that." trey mumbled lowly, opening his own mouth to mimic yours.

your eyes looked glossy, void of any valuable thought. its as if you were staring at him, but you weren't truly there. he watched, making no effort to stop you tipping over deeper into that cozy mindset of your own. at some point you even began to lean into his side, relaxing into the upperclassman's firm yet soft chest. trey smiled, brushing some hair out of your face as he set the plate of food down. you looked as if you would knock out at any moment.

"look at that, all finished. i bet your stomach feels better now, right?" you lazily nodded, humming in response as you nuzzled against his neck. he coo'ed at you, taking the heavy book out of your lap so you could rest comfortably. your body was so relaxed against his, so accessible. trey gulped, noting that he could no longer hide the throbbing boner in his pants anymore.

he had been excited ever since you initially agreed to his offer. in fact, he was practically buzzing with energy when he had went over to the kitchen to plate some leftovers from earlier today. treys hands shook with an uncharacteristic amount of nervousness, licking his lips before letting his arm wrap around your small form. even if you wanted to get up, he simply gently nudged you further into the crook of his neck, hand splaying on your thighs. his mind raced with the thousands of possibilities that could happen.

he should leave you alone. really, trey should carry you to bed like the fine gentleman everyone thinks he is, like the normal role model they take him for. deeply, the man wants to do the right thing.

yet, all moral thought flies out the window when he notices you were hard too. your little cock made a proud tent in your pants, straining against the fabric as you slept. you were so quiet that trey didn’t even notice before, but now that it was practically on display for him, he couldn’t contain the groan he let out.

his bigger hand hovered over your bulge. he felt his heart flutter, looking down at your face. you were so calm, so peaceful in his arms. at this point.. wouldn’t it be wrong for him to deny you of your basic needs? the upperclassman has already hand fed you at this point, making sure you were full and taken care of. isn’t this just.. another task that he should handle?

you were too small to do it on your own, a little too dumb. friends do this all the time for each other. besides, you were totally into him too (he was confident on that, at least), so if anything.. maybe trey is doing a favor. a favor that he definitely doesn’t mind fulfilling for you.

“it’s alright, y/n. i got you. you deserve a break.” you had mumbled something in response, trey not catching half of what you said. he shrugged, pushing his glasses up before his hand hesitantly palmed your bulge, making you shudder. he felt his own cock pulse at just how tiny you were. his hand covered a good amount of your cock, squeezing and teasing you through your pants before unzipping them quietly.

trey was thankful that riddle had given you a room in heartslabyul to stay in. you didn’t have any other roommates because it was such short notice, so he didn’t have to worry about anyone barging in and catching him doing something he probably shouldn’t. trey pumped your cock slowly, making sure to flick his wrist and twist a couple of times. he loved the way your back arched, even while you were resting, desperate for more pleasure.

“you’re doing so well, pretty boy.” the praises spilled out naturally, his gaze shifting from your face to your cute little cock. your head felt dizzy, cloudy with dreams and pleasure as you moaned softly. the amount of pre-cum that dribbled out made an erotic squelch noise fill the room. trey didn’t bother stopping, even going a bit faster to get more reactions from you.

he thought about you like this before, but had no idea how to tell you. the mysterious transfer student from a different world was more than alluring to the normal student at NRC. not to mention, you are undeniably cute, winning the hearts of many of your seniors without you noticing. you never really noticed much, most of your schedule filled with hanging out with the first years or studying.

but the way you were now, and the time you were spending in his lap, was solely because of him. treys eyes widened when he noticed you were clumsily bucking your hips towards his hand. even while asleep, you couldn’t help but be so honest. you really were such a good boy.

when you started to curl up and shield yourself away from treys hand, he tutted, unwaveringly pushing your hips the opposite way so he could continue jerking you off. “no no, not that way. we’re almost done. let me help.”

it felt way too good. all of it felt unreal. being coddled so closely, fed so gently, cared for so nicely. it made you moan louder, drooling while you felt yourself grow dumber. trey was so overwhelming, and yet, you didn’t want to leave. you were in and out of your sleep, groaning treys name as he chuckled.

“you’re so sweet when you say my name, y/n. you can say it more. say it as much as you want.” trey kissed your forehead, his hand moving quicker and harder as you started to practically wail from how your body felt. you could feel his breath on your neck. it was hard for him to keep his composure.

when he saw your little hands try and grip the chair, that’s when he knew you were close. why was he so worried before? you clearly wanted this just as much as he did. you were the perfect little boy, listening and letting him do as he pleases. trey groaned, letting you hump into his hand clumsily. “you’re gonna cum, arent you y/n? it’s okay. let it out for me. you’ve been so good.” his voice only urged you further, sweet and soft in your ear.

your mouth was open, but no sound came out when you came, eyes rolling back a bit from your release. your cum shot high, some of it nearly landing on your chin as trey milked your cock, making sure every last drop was drained from your balls. it’s probably been so long since you’ve let yourself relax like this. he made a mental note to do this more often with you.

“see? didn’t that feel good?” his smile was as warm as ever, ready to greet you as you slowly opened your eyes. his face was a bit flushed, holding you in place even as you began to wake up and try to piece together what just happened. your trusty senpai would never do anything so dishonest after all. you could only nod, not wanting to make a fool out of yourself for falling asleep and not listening to.. whatever went on.

there trey goes again, forgetting to take care of his own tasks. his cock twitched angrily, aching to be touched. maybe a pretty boy like yourself wouldn’t mind returning the favor tonight.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

bladee show summary:

(putting under read more cus its Long)

☯️ he sang so many songs from the fool, a couple mechatoks, but also a lot of songs from red light n exeter. it was a good balance...he did imaginary from exeter which was so ethereal.. and botox lips ?!?!? we were all stunned he pulled that one out

💟 crowd was so fun and happy,. big sense of camaradarie. i was standing there for like an hour b4 the set started to secure my spot so i overheard lots of funny stuff. there was a guy who wld hold up a copy of halo 3 and everyone would start chanting HALO 3!!! HALO 3!!!!

🛐 (this is the most insane part of the whole show for me.) so, like 2 hours before the set, it started to get rly cloudy. n i thought to myself, yea, its gonna rain for bladee's set, it just has to! waiting, waiting, the clouds getting darker but still no rain. then about 5 mins before his set begins, light raindrops. i was like haha...ok.. here we go... he comes on, and first song he plays is the fool intro. and it was like, as soon as it came on, it started POURING. and then, there's that lyric:

and as he sang it he just like smiled and shrugged and i was like oh. my god. its clicking. he summoned this?!'?,?! he summoned this, like, he made it rain for us. and magic is real. i was too overwhelmed to even cry, but i cry now processing it. we drained the sky & the sky drained us. how could i even try to put it into words. it was just angelic. n i thought, "ok now i bet the rain is gonna stop as soon as this ends." and sure enough, the rain poured down for his entire set, then just abruptly halted as soon as it was over. didnt rain again for the rest of the night. like how did he do that. guys how did he. do that

✝️ at the beginning of his set i had to face a trial from this dude who weirdly targeted me. he kept trying to mosh, but it was clear that he like, was young n didnt understand crowd etiquette. like we were standing close to the sidelines, n it was obvious no one else but this one dude was trying to get thrashed about. and he also just weirdly kept coming for me, altho my friends were trying to block it. i was giving him benefit of the doubt at first but as it went on n was clear he was disturbing everyone around us...i knew i had to put a stop to it. so i had a Power moment. like i somehow developed blood devil strength n when he came towards me again i grabbed him by the neck of his shirt, w both hands, and THREW him into the ground FACE first jfbsshshah. it looked painful and i laughed at him menacingly. it was so feral of me but like. he had to learn. and he immediately just got up n fucked off. then everyone peacefully danced and had fun together after that! cus none of us wanted to mosh, we are drainers bro! i did feel kinda bad cus i am generally pro-moshing but there are unspoken rules yknow. no one had opened up a pit, we werent even close to the middle, there was lots of girlies around me in their tiny outfits n precarious platforms, it wasnt cool of him. moshing can b the most fun in the world when its done rite w/ ppl who get it. i will admit, it was a great release of all my pent up rage to commit a little violence. and commit it in such a way that it actually just benefitted everyone around me. all while im wearing a frilly petticoat and fake puppy ears and bladee is singing be nice to me. The Glory Is Mine :) also, after the show, my friends confirmed that he was weirdly targeting me and aiming for me specifically even when they'd try to block him. no clue why but that made it all the more satisfying that i was the one to shut him down.

♈️ a girl in the crowd who i dont know handed me a bottle of poppers and i was like yeah ok fuck it. took a whiff n just passed it onwards.

💟 he left immediately after the set ended so no one got to meet him but i dont mind. im so happy w the experience he gave us. i cant blame him for wanting to leave cus there was sooo many people at the festival it wouldve caused chaos if he'd tried to meet fans. also they didnt bring any merch which was kinda sad but o well!! im too broke to b spending my money on that rn anyways lol

☯️ he was wearing a walgreens hat and didnt take off his sunglasses the entire time. he was also wearing white gloves.

🛐 after the show we hung around, watched 100gecs but my feet were Kill so stayed at the back. it was rly good, they played hand crushed by a mallet and 800db cloud, my two fav songs by them.. hand crushed by a mallet lyrics rly had me in my feelings thinking about saint.

🕉 after that the festival ended n everyone was talking about this after party laura was playing at meow wolf but it cost like $40 to get in. n we were like...so tired...not paying for that...but... well, eleanor is rly tite w the people who started meow wolf, who were there at the festival. so she pulled some strings n got us in for free. like my body was dying but i knew i had to go on. and it was so fucki g worth it. omg. before lauras set our meow wolf friends took us thru all these exhibits that are usually packed with people but they were completely empty for us. it was UNREAL. i took so many pictures, mostly on my digital camera cus my phone was almost dead, gona upload them to my laptop in a bit so i can post some. it was so massive and beautiful and layed out so thoughtfully. felt like something id dream of as a child. we played and explored for half an hour or so until laura's set started. which i already talked about, it was legendary, she is so fucking funny and dope. truly inspiring confidence and stage presence. watching her drunkenly fight the sound guy was so beautiful. like she rly just wanted to play her songs and party all night :") i wouldve gone all nite if they'd let her. sometimes dylan would put on a song n it'd be like some rly complex n unique hyperpop song then laura would come back n put on kesha. it was truly madly deeply iconic, so so glad 2 be a part of it.

💟 all in all, it was so much more than i ever couldve expected. it felt better than a dream. all day i thought about saint so much and i saw them in everything. i think there's no better way i couldve honor my friend and everything their life stood for. i really feel like they were there with me, and they were divinely intervening in their own ways. im really happy. i feel a renewal of faith in my heart and reassured that i am still able to enjoy myself. life can still be beautiful...loss and gain... we just have to go on and transmute the pain into beauty however we can. i love u guys very much, if u read all of this, thats so cool and i love you. #<3.

[leafcabbage]

I would like to start by saying I wish you all the best in your grief :( things will get better, and I hope that they get better for you sooner rather than later, and that your days are full of kindness

I would also like to say a few words about Techno and my own grief and your fic. If you don't want to hear about that (right now or ever), you are free to delete this ask or leave it unanswered and unread - I promise I will not mind.

I started rereading this whole series at the end of June, a couple days before the announcement of Techno's passing. When the news broke, this fic became a safe place, something I could retreat to when keeping myself together became too hard. The way this fic handles grief has been something so very important to me in these last few days, and I'm thanking all my lucky stars that I would decide to reread this fic now when I needed it more than ever.

I'm not sure if there's a point to this ask, other than tell you how important Drdi has been to me at this time and how thankful I am for you writing it and sharing it with us

Thank you, and I wish you all the best <3

hey anon! i know you sent this a few days ago, but its been sittin in my ask box for a bit because i just keep coming back to it. this means so much to me man, it genuinely made me cry when i got it. the connection through grief is a strong one, even though we dont know each other there's still an understanding, yknow?

first of all, thank you. i dont think the grief will ever really stop. i know im going to miss her every day, and it will be worse when i go home to one less dog, but i am getting by. there are a lot of people who love me in my life though, and that has certainly helped. i really appreciate your well wishes, it means a lot to me.

as for the rest of your ask- i am so, so happy to hear that my fic has given you that safe place. it means a lot to hear that i could do that for someone, and i hope it continues to help.

as funny as it is considering the title, this fic has turned into something helping me process my own grief. its funny watching my own mannerisms that i share with tubbo. im glad the depiction is something that you connect to as well.

i wish you the best as well, i hope that things start to look up soon. know that i am rooting for you, even if i do not know your name

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[justanotherweedinthelawn]

What about Miu, Korekiyo and Fuyuhiko meeting their long distance s/o for the first time? Your writing is really good, keep it up dude!

Thank you so much anon! That means a lot to me. 🥺 For this scenario I decided that s/o lives in the US, and Miu, Kork, and Fuyu still live in Japan. Lemme know if you want me to change anything! Also, these might be a little long. Stay safe!

Miu, Korekiyo, and Fuyuhiko meet their long distance s/o for the first time

Miu Iruma

Miu always encourages you to visit

She usually says something at least a little perverted, but you've gotten used to it

For about a year you worked a lot of small jobs to save up enough money to visit Miu

You tell her it's to buy a new laptop so you can surprise her

Here's the plan

You ask your friend who lives in japan to meet you at the airport you'll land in

You'll get into a box they'll bring, and tell Miu that you sent a package for her and it's at the airport

Let's just hope she doesn't wonder why you didnt just send it straight to her

Then, you jump out of the box and surprise her!

The plan goes well

For the most part..

Where it goes wrong is Miu tries to pick the box up and you fall out of the bottom

"S/O?!"

"Uh.. that's not how that was supposed to go."

Your friend is laughing their ass off

You give them a quick glare before standing up and hugging your girlfriend

You're both crying tears of joy now

Yours are a little bit from pain if you're being honest

After a few seconds, you two get up and your friend asks if they can leave

Obviously you say yes, and you and your girlfriend's trip officially began!

Miu wasnt actually how you expected

Not her looks, her personality

She only made like one or two perverted jokes and even then she was pretty flustered

You figured she was less shy over the internet which like, same and you actually found it pretty cute

Miu takes you to her house and shows you a bunch of her inventions

She gives you a summary of the process of making them

You're amazed

After a few hours of that, you two go to a small restaurant to get some dinner

After dinner, Miu takes you to a small field and says she made some fireworks she was gonna try out tomorrow, but since you were here, she felt like it was a much better time

They were honestly one of the most beautiful things you've seen

Except for your amazing girlfriend, of course

Korekiyo Shinguji

Kork has always said that his anthropology trips would more than likely lead to you two meeting

Over the time you two were dating, you kinda started to lose faith in his words

One day you call Kork up and he says he's on a plane

He sounded more lively than usual

Kork's plane ride was extremely long, (and flying pretty late) so you two wrap your call up after about two hours so you both can get some rest

The next day you wake up to knocking at your door

What time is it?

Oh damn

You actually slept in late

It was already around 10

You yell out hoping the person outside can hear you

"I'll be there in a minute!"

You quickly brush your teeth and get ready

You dont realize it at the moment, but you completely forget to get dressed

You answer the door trying to look and sound as awake as possible

"How can I hel...p.. Kork?"

"It is true, my beloved."

Choo choo! All aboard the tears train!

You hug your boyfriend tight for the very first time

"You're really here.."

You two just hug for a while before he asks to come inside

You two go inside and now that you're awake, you finally realize you're still in your pajamas

"What the-?!"

Oh god

This is embarrassing

Your face immediately goes red and Korekiyo just seems to laugh as you rush to your closet for some clothes

After all that, you two kinda just talk for awhile

You're so excited that he's finally here!

Your boyfriend was finally right in front of you

Of course, he still has to do his job, but you're beyond happy that he's just here

You take him to multiple attractions near your place and you two have a blast

The only things that really shock you about Kork's appearance are his height and his hair

Hes.. so tall..

And his hair is so smooth

You're ecstatic when he let's you brush through it with your hands

You have never met a person with such soft and well kept hair, oh my god-

Kork ends up leading you to a museum

He literally ends up acting like he works there as a tour guide

This is adorable

He's so passionate about the attractions, you two end up going through the entire museum

You literally end up learning so much that day

You were happier than you had ever been in your entire life

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

It wasnt too, too long before Fuyuhiko ended up paying for a flight for you

He never really said it, but he really did wanna meet you

When you got to the airport, Peko greeted you, saying that at the moment Fuyuhiko had some clan related business to take care of at the last moment

You were a little disappointed if you were being honest with yourself

Peko said she would be taking you to Fuyuhiko's house so you could set your stuff down

After you two arrive, you're quick to put some of your stuff away

After about 10 minutes, you two hear a knock on the door

Peko offers to get it as she walks to the door

After she opens the door, you hear a familiar voice ask if you were here yet

You get up from the seat you're in, and hurry to greet Fuyuhiko

You hug him and he seems to stiffen up, but quickly rests and hugs you back

After you let go, you realize something

"Woah, I just realized how small you are.."

"Really? It's usually the first thing people point out about me."

He seemed to have grown slightly annoyed when you said that

"Oh, sorry if that was offensive! It just kinda surprised me, let me know if you're not ok with it."

Fuyuhiko seemed somewhat confused at your apology

"No, no, it's fine, I get it all the time. Just tired of hearin' it."

"Oh.. sorry, heh."

After that, you two head out to a nice restaurant

Peko's always nearby, but you honestly dont mind

You're focused on how much cuter your boyfriend is in real life, which you didnt know was possible

You also go to an ice cream parlor for dessert

Which you realize at said ice cream parlor that your boyfriend is quite easy to fluster

"Hey Fuyu, you have some ice cream on your cheek, I'll get it-"

"Wha- no- just- where?"

His face is extremely red and you find this adorable

The rest of your trip is mainly filled with small little dates and just hangouts

At some point though, you asked Fuyuhiko if you could meet his clan

Somewhat reluctantly, he agrees

Every member had an intimidating aura to them, but you didnt let it get to you as you were being introduced

You greeted every member as the normal people they were, paying no mind their yakuza background

Fuyuhiko was honestly surprised by this

"Yknow usually when someone meets my clan they're shaking like a leaf."

"Well they are human beings right? Unless you guys are robots..?"

He just laughs at you and you laugh along with him

Oh how you wish this moment would never end...

[tigerdrop]

Okay, I'm gonna adress the elephant in the room, ya all folks like to draw each other's Benrys hanging with their Benreys or doing nasty together so don't tell me some of you folks have not discussed or at least thought about a free for all Freeman gangbang with them all. (Gonna admit I make this sound so hardcore when in my mind they actually all play nice for Gordon just cuz they don't quite know if this Gordon has the same limits as "their" Gordon so they gotta make sure at first at least)

i got to thinking about this and your brain is very huge, and wrinkled, for this. here are those thoughts (also they ended up turning into “okay but what if HL gordon ended up in the hlvrai universe and cucked the unholy hell out of hlvrai gordon” at the end. please do not fucking observe me)

can u imagine. 3 gordons powertripping so hard over finally being able to overpower benrey that it sets off fucking geiger counters. and gordons not a weak guy as it is! hes strong enough to catch benrey in his arms when he jumps, so, 3 of him? Hello

c.an you imagine the- what if one or all of them just, yknow. let out a really nasty evil laugh a little bit. or more than a little. i mean. the sheer concentrated satisfaction 

"haha, oh man. you actually like this, dont you?"

benrey, flushed and sweating and hard as a rock: "uhhh, what? no,"

"okay. fine. say it again and we'll let you go."

benrey: (utter fucking silence while trying not to meet any of their eyes)

and. you know. double.....penetration......if anybody can take it its fuckin benrey. mans bein sandwiched between two gordons while a 3rd jerks off over him and fingerfucks his mouth? On Fucking God. if i didnt have like 3 art commissions i still gotta finish i would be dropping everything to draw this but for now you will just have to envision it yourself. minds eye

but also another vaguely-related thought i had was: HL gordon cucking hlvrai gordon. okay, goodbye 

all of that effortless, silent confidence.......hlvrai gordon seeing how its winning benrey over (and, you know, the later HEV suits being a lot more visually flattering than HL1 gordons not helping matters) and being insanely fucking jealous for reasons he does not want to interrogate 

but like......what the hell can he do about it without admitting that he feels jealous that benreys clearly attracted to this version of him that, in his eyes, is like, better in every possible way? thats fuckin embarrassing, man. so instead he just sits there stewing in it and making it incredibly obvious to everyone (except benrey, who is not terribly perceptive of "feelings") that hes jealous 

and the whole time benreys fuckin thought process is just "two cakes! except one of them gets mad when i say his ass looks nice and the other one doesnt". and if hlvrai gordons not interested, then, well, whats the problem? b/c hes not interested, right. he doesnt care if benreys makin eyes at HL gordon, right 

at the same time, consider: hlvrai gordon bitching out loud about how unfair it is that this alternate universe version of him is so capable and intelligent and cool and collected and his fucking cheekbones, man, and its not fair how much more flattering his HEV suit and his haircut are and-- and bubby interrupts him like "for gods sake, do you want to fuck him?"

anyway all im getting at is that what i really want in life is for hlvrai gordon to be watching benrey and HL gordon make out and fuck and just be seething from how fucking turned on he is by it 

[[rubs my damn temples thinking about how i also feel like HL gordon wouldnt exactly think the world of himself either he just does what he has to do and is really reserved about it, so if someone told him all of that shit about how hot he is he would be almost just as flustered and confused]]

he doesnt fully understand why benrey is hitting on him so hes like flushed and a little embarrassed by it but hes so much more receptive to it than hlvrai gordon is b/c they dont have that antagonistic history........

and. you know. benrey does kind of look like barney. lil bit of feelings-transferral there, too

thinking HL gordon is just as interested in the novelty of benrey being so much more uninhibited than his universes' version of barney. it's jarring at first but. u know

thinks about. HL gordon railing him into the fucking ground and benreys getting Loud and he starts saying gordons name out loud but the whole time hes doing it hes got his head turned to look straight at hlvrai gordon. direct eye contact

you just know this motherfucker is thinking about hlvrai gordon joining in and fucking him just like that but he doesnt. he cant bring himself to move b/c this already feels like an insanely weird situation. just sits there feeling frustrated and horny but not even sure if he should be jerking off right now, even though they literally asked him if he wanted to watch and he sure as shit didnt walk away

does he want to the one fucking benrey right now? does he want to be the one getting fucked by HL gordon??? who knows!!! he doesnt, and he is so very pissed off about it.  if he just got over himself and talked about even just one of his feelings, maybe he could be getting both of these things right now! but you know. hes stubborn

i also had more thoughts about HL gordon/hlvrai gordon stuff but i will save those for a later post i think. this is already embarrassing enough as-is

[valdotpng]

Question. Do you have any specific resources you used to learn art and painting, etc?? Your style and skill is so so good and I'd love to see how you Do It

oh, gosh. i dont think i could ever answer this question in a truly satisfying manner, but i’ll try my best to do it!

learning art in general has just been a road of trial and error for me! looots of trial and error. im a ‘self-taught’ artist & i’ve been drawing since i was a toddler, so i’ve accumulated certain skills just bc i’ve been doing it for so dang long

that being said, i’ll share some links in a moment! but first, some advice from me to you, anon. just.. go wild. try new things and dont set too many rules for yourself, yknow what i mean? nowadays i tend to use lots of weird textured brushes + work on only one layer (which i hear is quite bad for when youre working on commissions, but i paint for myself so i dont gotta worry about correcting things all the time), and as a person struggling w/ a pretty severe case of OCD, i find it so liberating to be Forced to not give a shit through that painting method. just have fun! allow yourself to be messy, to make mistakes, and remember that you can just paint over them later. some of your ‘mistakes’ might even end up being the things that make your drawing look more interesting/organic, in the end! the ‘happy little accidents’ mindset just makes the whole process much more enjoyable imo :]

ALSO, an important thing to me was finding the right brushes for painting. just dl a shit ton of the ones that look fun to you (or make your own if your drawing program allows it!) and make an effort to try out each and every one of them at least once!! the brushes certainly arent that important-- you could paint a masterpiece with a simple square brush-- but more often than not i find my style being subtly influenced by the brushes that i use at the moment. its a thing worth considering!

another thing i should note is that, while im mostly happy with my art nowadays, i AM still learning, and i dont think i’ll ever stop learning, so, like, check in in a couple of years for some better tips i guess asuhdfuashfusdf

anyways, here are some resources that are/were very helpful to me:

when i need to browse for general art tips/tutorials/cheat sheets/etc, i usually go here: [link 1], [link 2], [link 3], [link 4], [link 5], 

now, here are some specific posts ive collected over the years that really made me rethink how i approach composition and the like in my, uh, more ‘serious’ paintings: [link 1], [link 2], [link 3], [link 4], [link 5]

this [link] video series is a Godsend, its got some very good advice AND its got nice editing too, my hellbrain was actually able to focus and learn smth from a video tutorial for once

heres a nice post about practice and improvement that you should deffo read before using all of these resources

i also find it very helpful to just.. look at art that inspires you/ that you find appealing Right before painting? that way all of the techniques you might pick up while staring at other peoples art will stay fresh in your mind, so you’ll be more likely to try em out. (setting a drawing that you really like as a phone/desktop bg works well too since youll inevitably stare at it quite often)

i also really like seeing other peoples process, so i tend to watch speedpaints/analyse process gifs & photosets a lot! seeing how messy and abstract most drawings are in the early stages of painting is really comforting/reassuring to me :] heres a couple for u: [link 1], [link 2], [link 3], [link 4], [link 5], [link 6], [link 7], [link 8], and finally, [link 9] and [link 10] (3, 9 and 10 are the ones that inspire me the most atm)

as a bonus, heres one from me as well! (usually i only post these on my patreon, but ik times are tough rn and any of your spare money could (and should) go to a far better cause) im putting it under a read more bc it contains blood and self-impalement, so beware! (bloodborne bosses, man) i might make a speedpaint in the future, too, so watch out for that!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Please tell us abt yr dnd characters holy shit

OK BET SO I HAVE SEVEN OF THEM AND FOUR OF THEM ARE KINDA FLESHED OUT THE OTHER THREE ARE IN THE CONCEPT ZONE

im in the process of making aesthetic blogs for them too so like ...... check out my main if you want em @turntechgodhcad 👀

-mod dave

ok so my first one is my chaos elf. glenn meldarion is my stupid idiot bitch boy and i love him and he lives in the woods. hes a rogue and hes chaotic neutral, hes 20, hes aroace, and naturally hes an amazing shot with a bow and arrow. also his full name is glennodad gonk meldarion and each of the names has a meaning

i looked up some elvish translator a while ago and “glennodad” translates to “jared”. jared 19

“meldarion” translates to “dave”. so his name is Elf Jared Dave

“gonk” is the name of my worm on a string so his middle name is gonk

theres nothing particularly angsty about glenn, he doesnt have a sad backstory or anything but he sure has a dumb one. so this fuck head ass starts out on a vegetable / fruit farm and hes minding his own business, he hunts for meat and stuff, and what he doesnt eat he sells. so hes got his own little market goin on but hes not exactly the most Popular of the vegetable sellers because yknow everyone and their mom on the edge of town is a vegetable seller so while glenns not selling fruit hes pickpocketing. and ONE DAY he pickpockets a Haughty Noble and gets caught. so this dude is like “ok” and places a little bounty on his head and hes run out of the town by this nobles goons and shit cause He Wants Payback, so up until he finds a home he just bounces around the woods from kingdom to kingdom camping out and shit. and he still pickpockets

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my SECOND boy is named cas, full name casteris emsworth, and hes human, hes my beautiful baby son and i love him and hes a druid (circle of the shepherd) !! hes a neutral good, hes 19, hes got himself a little Knife and hes bi !! and hes . very 👀 at this one tiefling of banes (if yall dont know bane thats my partner ^^).............his names lucas and oh boy cas has the Big Gay...............

cas’ main focus in his druidism is just plants. like people have specific focuses for some of their characters, cas just fucking likes plants. he absolutely excels in potions, and he fucks around with alchemy too. he keeps this big ass tome of plant sketches that hes seen on his travels, and he bakes bread when hes stressed and hes really good at writing! and hes fucking terrified of Really Big Fish . 

his backstorys kinda sad but not really fleshed out; he was raised druidic in a kingdom that outlawed magic, his family got Found Out, they were ordered to be executed and cas escaped. usually this is where people would get vengeful and angry and wage a personal war against the kingdom, but cas doesnt have an angry bone in his body and instead went fucking asap to another place to keep practicing in his parents’ names !! he stayed with a cousin until he got a little hut of his own and now hes just Vibing. his main goal right now is to recreate this potion that he did. he was just fucking Mixing Shit and he grew a baby ent. and now hes like. Hellbent on trying to figure out how the FUCK he did that

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then i have a fire genasi whos kind of just in physical character development right now, his name is mathias ganteoran and hes a fighter !! hes 21, chaotic neutral but a Different Flavor than glenn, more Harsh, he fights with a bo staff, his hair is Literally Fire and hes trans demi and gay

mathias is the Grumpy Friend who Doesnt Have Time For This Bullshit but he gets roped into a bunch of stupid stuff anyway and its really great. also he has a rebellious streak and hes just Big Punk. or at least as punk as 1394 can get. also i know for a fact that the way he did his top surgery was that he just went up to some magic friend of his and went “de-tit me” and they did and long story short Magic Top Surgery .

also i didnt have a name for him for six months and i called him “motherfucker unlimited” until i named him

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aaryn mendalyn is my next character i love her so much shes my triton, and i really want to use her in a campaign soon. shes a monk (way of the open hand), chaotic good, 19, pan as hell, and this bitch has GAUNTLETS !!!!!

and let me tell yall aaryn is here to do three things and three things only. punch the fuck out of things, party like a rock star, and EAT DIRT

she has a bit of a backstory that involves dirt actually, so shes kinda got a little mermaid complex going on but not cause she finds a guy or smth. so tritons as a species act really superior cause theyre underwater and shit (think amporas) but aaryn always thought “but hm. the land is pretty cool. it has dirt, we have dirt but wet, its the same shit??” so she decides “ok im gonna go be on land now” and she just fucking loves the dry dirt. shes not worried about what her family will think cause shes really fucking impulsive and hey if she doesnt go back then she doesnt go back. she is having the time of her life

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for the characters that are still in progress, and all of their info is “X until further notice” cause i still have a lot of research to do on these species and classes

i have a 21 y/o lawful neutral nb lesbian aasimar cleric named kirijah whose entire aesthetic is half-victorian, half-classical, all sun / clouds. theyre trying their best to be poised all the time but god theyre confused as to why they hang out with these people

then theres my 19 y/o chaotic neutral-turned-good human witch named myra !! shes my only character with a homebrew class so im gonna have to figure out how to work with that. shes an aro bi demigirl, and she doesnt have a Full backstory but i Do know that she was definitely forced to commit a Major Crime, it left her fucked up, and now shes trying to move in a new way better direction. so now shes the cheerleader of her friend group !!

and FINALLY my latest and least developed, my DWARF CLARISSA !!!!!!! shes a barbarian, probably neutral, DEFINITELY chaotic, im probably gonna end up making her trans (if i write her character well enough that is. i want to flesh her out to where it makes sense cause i really want to avoid the “barbarian trans woman” stereotype, obviously thats really fucking harmful) and out of the seven she is the ONLY one with a brain cell

[monochromemedic]

Same spamton honkers anon here dhsnsns

Your entire rant resonated hard w me bc i acc have an art blog myself but its kind of underground (i made it at the beginning of 2020 in hopes that i could gain some sort of audience cuz i occasionally post on it) and i always wanted to be a [big shot] artist. I have been struggling with severe negative artistic self view and i also do the grave mistake of comparing my art to others every so often WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING AT FIRST like i see some art i like, i rb it then my mind does this thing where its like "ok god i WISH THAT WERE ME tho" and i just ????? Damn shawty ok!!!

I feel the same regarding doodles and studies, as u said, i'd prob feel better breaking and twisting my spine on a piece continuously for one week but i legit dont have the time, patience and overall energy for that kinda shit☠☠☠ i think it boils down to every individual, some love posting and spending hours and hours on a piece, others center around doodles and small projects. Trust me im still so mf overly critical of myself despite the fact that im doing relatively better compared to last year but its almost as if when im rlly proud of smth and i post it and it doesnt gain as many notes (which ik isnt a clear indicator of quality but yknow) i just go like "damn ok then" dbsbxbns if u would like to talk abt such matters im here🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶

All in all i'd say give it time, maybe dont straight out post smth as soon as its done bc i find taking a break then coming back to it sometimes helps change my perception of the drawing??? But fr i absolutely love ur art myself no cap💔

I really do feel you. I know being negative and beating myself down about my art is like very counter productive but I got into the habit a long time ago and now I can't seem to get out of it as easily as I started. I know every artist struggles with some form of it and you only see the finish product not the time it took to make it or progress. It's a very shitty situation because most of the time you only see the creative process from YOUR point of view and only see the end products of others. But even with all this information it's like it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if other artists struggle or feel the same way, they push something out, they get a good piece and yet you don't. You still compare even if you don't mean to, you're upset you can't be them or at their level and you wanna get feedback, you wanna have people look at your art you wanna make people laugh or whatever it is you hope to accomplish but to you it just looks incorrect because it will forever be YOURS. And I don't know how to get comfortable with my progress, where I am with my art currently or the fact my art will always be mine. I'd say it's nice to hear you feel that same way but I never like hearing people suffer the same viewpoint about their art, it just makes me sad that they gotta deal with the same shit. Makes me wish I could help but ya know kinda hard to. I guess I hope we both push past it. That's a good idea though. sitting on something and maybe coming back to it at a later date even if it is finished. I hear artists do a lot of WIPs. I honestly never have, I think I have one but I've never really strived to make art that took more then one session or I was too fast and quickly finished it up in the one session it took. I'm just learning I gotta take more time with my art, think things through, give it the love it deserves even if it's kinda stinky. Which ya know fights the 'why are you taking so long on this piece, people could have finished it by now' mentality. It's an endless circle. I go too quick? Why didn't I take longer on it, it could have been better if you spend 24 hours on it. I go too slow to draw something? Someone could have done that in half the time! How artists get over their art struggles, has got to take some serious determination. Or maybe it's just some [BIG SHOT] attitude adjustment I gotta get into *wink*

[ryeguns]

hey! so ive been missing streams 😭 and i was wondering wtf has been happening in the dream smp since the election results were revealed? i'm so lost and i really dont wanna watch all the streams 😔😔😔

oh god a loooot has happened; i personally recommend watching wilburs edited vids on his channel if u rlly want to understand everything but ill give a basic summary!! 

major MAJOR spoilers for the dream smp (obviously) so if u don't want to hear about it then don't continue on (also its kinda long bcause all i think about is the dream smp-)

SO schlatt and quackity won the election, schlatt banished wilbur & tommy from l’manberg & renamed l’manberg to manberg. wilbur and tommy created a new place called pogtopia which is a bit away from the manberg / main area. quackity is schlatts vice president, tubbo is secretary of state (i believe?)

 tubbo is a spy and is secretly working for pogtopia. technoblade joins the server and joins pogtopia to help take down schlatt. all he did for the most part was farm potatoes...and breed horses....

dream reveals he doesnt support schlatt out of fear that schlatt will begin to take over the entierty of the dream smp, but he cant show his support of pogtopia publicly. niki doesnt like schlatt, schlatt taxes her, they just hate each other in general. fundy is also secretly a spy, but hes not directly giving info to anyone, he just keeps a journal about what he has learned. fundy begins to question what side he supports, and begins to lean more in favor of schlatt because schlatt has been cleaning up the area and basically has been making everything look nice. 

tommy and tubbo make a giant tunnel under manberg that leads to pogtopia (which is also connect to the prime path for, well, obvious reasons). technoblade has mostly just been trying to get the best gear for himself & has been trying to breed the best horse (he gets a trident at one point). 

wilbur goes insane and believes he and tommy are on the bad side of history, that they’re the villians. wilbur gives up on getting l’manberg back and has settled on just blowing it all to shit so no one can have it. dream backs wilburs plan and supplies him with TNT and wilbur rigs the entire underground of manberg with TNT (much like dream did in l’manberg during the dream smp war) tommy doesnt support wilburs decision to blow everything up. 

(this isnt exactly really story-related but sapnap killed tommys cow, henry, and dream, techno, and tommy teamed up to fight sapnap and a few others. idk it isnt rlly important to the plot but i enjoyed it so :D)

schlatt announces there will be a manberg festival, in celebration of democracy and everything. wilbur decides thats the day hes going to blow everything up. tommy still doesnt support wilburs plan. tubbo and fundy (and i think quackity?? idk) set up for the festival. tubbo has a speech written for the festival and one of the lines is the cue for wilbur to press the button to blow everything up.

the day of the festival comes along, schlatt gives a few speeches, wilbur and tommy watch from the top of one of the buildings. everyone is invited (even technoblade) to the festival, except wilbur and tommy. technoblade brings and OP rocket launcher crossbow and tries to get info on manberg. they play games and stuff.

 wilbur starts to question if he really wants to go through with blowing everything up (because he will be blowing up all his friends in the process) and tommy continues to try to talk him down. wilbur ends up asking tubbo what he should do, and tubbo doesnt know. wilbur tells tubbo that if he says the cue in the speech, he’ll do it, and if he doesn’t, he wont. tubbos speech comes along eventually, and at the end he hesitates saying the cue, and schlatt begins to ask if he had anything more to say. tubbo eventually does say the cue, and wilbur goes and runs off to find the button to blow everything up. 

schlatt starts encasing tubbo in a box and wilbur gets distracted and goes back to see what is going on. schlatt announces infront of everyone that tubbo is a traitor. schlatt calls technoblade up to the stage and tells technoblade to “take him out”. technoblade tries to stall, wilbur and tommy assure tubbo that techno is on their side and wont hurt him. techno gives in to peer pressure and kills tubbo with the rocket launcher crossbow, killing schlatt and quackity in the process (because they were on stage as well and just vacinity stuff yknow).

tommy and wilbur panic. wilbur goes and rushes to find the button, but cant find it. tommy reveals his position and goes in to kill techno, claiming techno has betrayed them. techno just starts shooting his rocket launcher into the crowd, killing basically everyone. tommy and tubbo meet up in the manberg-pogtopia tunnel. wilbur, tommy, tubbo, and techno all go back to pogtopia. wilbur and tommy are the most mad at techno, but wilbur forgives him. tommy doesnt and still believes hes a traitor. wilbur manipulates tommy and tells him to use that anger and to kill techno, so they fight in a pit that wilbur made. tommy dies, and everything is basically settled (though tommy is still mad at techno). niki also joins pogtopia. niki, tubbo, and tommy meet up just outside pogtopia and discuss whats going on. they all agree that wilbur has lost his mind and that they can only trust each other, and they begin to discuss plans of building up pogtopia so they can fight back to reclaim l’manberg. sentimental bit of them three looking off into the sunset as tommy plays the original blocks disc. 

schlatt doesnt really care what happened, him, quackity, fundy, and a few others continue to play games after the whole techno thing. (i believe something with antfrost, bbh, and awesamdude happened? i dont quite know because i havent watched their pov yet but i believe they formed some kind of alliance to fight against schlatt? correct me if im wrong-) schlatt starts talking about his plans for manberg. he plans to replace the hto dog van with an apartment complex. fundy, quackity, bbh, antfrost, and awesamdude try to talk him down from it. they eventually come to an agreement that the appartment building will be built around it, so you cant see it. schlatt kills a few cats for no real reason. schlatt talks about how he wants to remove the white house (the one quackity built with wilbur and such), quackity gets defensive and tells him not to destroy it as it is a symbol of peace and he worked hard on it. schlatt still wants it to be removed but they plan to discuss it at a later time. fundy is left alone, he questions which side he supports. he is now more in favor of wilburs side because of the public execution of tubbo and the fact he killed cats. 

day after the festival quackity and schlatt are on, tommy eventually joins as well. tommy plans to JFK schlatt and goes over to manberg to do so. he watches quackity and schlatt from a far, who are both at the white house. theyre both arguing over whether the white house should stay or go. schlatt wants it gone, quackity doesnt. tommy doesnt make a move and continues to watch. schlatt begins to insult the white house and starts to take it down. quackity gets pissed and kills schlatt and claims that he is no longer a part of manberg and proceeds to run off into the forest. schlatt then continues to demolish the rest of the white house. 

tommy goes after quackity; quackity joins pogtopia and they head off to pogtopia. wilbur gets on and claims he has found where the button is and that he doesnt care if no one else is on, all he wants to do is kill schlatt and blow everything up. tommy tells wilbur quackity has now joined them. quackity and tommy then proceed to build a giant dick infront of the manberg flag.

 wilbur then goes and shows quackity and tommy the button, quackity finds out about wilburs plan as a result. wilbur tries to push the button multiple times and quackity and tommy try to talk him down from pressing it. quackity says the only reason he ran against wilbur was to prevent dictatorship. they continue to attempt to stop wilbur from pressing the button. tommy at one point stands infront of the button and wilbur tells him to move to the side if he trusts him. tommy hesitates, but then moved. wilbur then destroys the button. wilbur says that now tommy will be leading them and making the next move. before returning to pogtopia to discuss the new plan, wilbur asks for quackity and tommy to wait outside. theres a sad moment and wilbur sings the l’manberg anthem and places the button back and says its just incase, as a backup, just so he knows that if something goes wrong, he can always rely on the button.

the three head back to pogtopia and discuss a plan. im going to be honest i was v lost on what they were saying when discussing the plans because they were all talking at once basically but the first plan, named plan a, is to use quackity to get to schlatt (its named plan a because ass...), then the second plan, plan 1, is yet to be determined, and the last plan, if those two fail, is plan b, which is to go with wilburs original plan of blowing everything to shit (b because bomb haha) 

YEA thats the basic summary i think? theres a lot of other details like the fact that fundy, tubbo, and sapnap are now dreamon hunters but !! yea. sorry for this being so long aaaaaaa

[extreme-technicality]

i read ur entire ninjago post and now im lowkey invested,,, tell me abt ur daughter rumi

*evil laughter* yesssss, join meeeeee~~~

OKAY BUT MY EVIL DAUGHTER RUMI THO

She has like, fairly good motivations for Being Evil (as far as evil backstories go), and honestly if the writers had LET HER LIVE it could’ve been SO interesting, but I’m getting ahead of myself lmao. She was orphaned off-screen at the end of s1, and got adopted by the Ninjago Royal Family shortly after (why does ninjago have a royal family? who fucking cares lmao). BUT, she grew up hating the ninja because she blames them for her parents deaths. And since Garmadon was the one who actually killed the thing that killed her parents, he’s the only acceptable parental substitute in her mind. Basically, this poor girl has a lot of unprocessed grief and trauma and is coping as best she can - well, ish. She was actively choosing to manipulate literally everyone around her and attempting to bring back Lord Garmadon in his most evil form in order to enact her vengeance against the ninja specifically, but some people do that to COPE

And when I say she was manipulating everyone, I mean she was manipulating EVERYONE. Her parents, the staff, the other ninja - she played Lloyd like a fiddle at the start of s8, and the first hint we got was when she and Lloyd were having their heart-to-heart in s8e2(? I think). They were bonding over the stresses of their positions as leaders and the various masks they’ve had to wear and lay down, and Rumi mentions she has to spend most of her days in a mask. On the first watch, I took it at pretty much face value - she’s a princess, there’s a certain image and reputation she has to maintain, the mask she has to wear, and yeah maybe she likes girls instead of guys and that’s one more thing hidden under a mask, yknow? But once you find out that she’s SPEARHEADING the evil organization working to resurrect Garmadon, THAT CONVERSATION HAS SO MUCH MORE DEPTH!!!!! Honestly, the Rumi reveal is the best ninjago twist (imo) because it’s ASTONISHINGLY well-written!! There’s a few signs in the episodes leading up to the reveal, but they’re so subtle that unless you knew what you were looking for you wouldn’t see them!!!!!!! AND THEN THE DELIGHT ON HER FACE WHEN SHE COULD FINALLY SHED THE LAST OF HER MASKS AND WORK TO BRING GARMADON BACK AND HATE THE NINJA, LLOYD INCLUDED, OPENLY??? ABSOLUTELY UNMATCHED, MY BOY LLOYD WAS GETTING HIS HEART SHATTERED AND I FELT FOR HIM BUT ALSO SHE BECAME MY DAUGHTER IN THAT MOMENT AND SHE STILL IS

Also, there’s a lot about masks in the season - the monologuing from Rumi, plus the macguffins of the arc are three Oni masks: the Mask of Delusion, the Mask of Rage, and the Mask of Vengeance. The moment Rumi unmasks herself is also the moment she takes the Mask of Vengeance for herself, and if I had more brain power I would ABSOLUTELY analyze the FUCK out of that symbolism but I CANT RIGHT NOW AND AAAAAAAAAA

anyway lmao

Another thing I really liked was that Lloyd pointed out that she had a support network available to her, if she wanted it - doubtless the Emperor and Empress of ninjago could’ve gotten her therapy, she was in a stable environment, there were a NUMBER of people who loved and wanted to help her, but she CHOSE to stay rooted in her pain and trauma. She still deserved help!! But her ACTIONS were the problem, because she CHOSE those willingly, and the narrative points that out.

Regardless, she brings Garmadon back and he’s evil and heartless and they’re a perfect pair, honestly, he adopts her in a fashion during s9 and honestly it’s kinda sweet. I CRAVE fics where she lived and disappeared with her gf and Garmadon after s10 and they kinda fuck off for a bit, healing and becoming a Family (that does crime together on the weekend but shhhh) until Lloyd and the other ninja find them and go “oh hey ur our family too now, deal with it 😎”. UN FUCKING FORTUNATELY, she died and I’m high key mad about it!!!! Picture this: Lloyd and Garmadon are having another city-destroying fight, and Rumi goes “fuck this shit I’m OUT” and dips. She’s going through a building and comes across a family going through the exact same situation that resulted in her parents dying and her path to vengeance. She opts to save that family, and she gets a fucking BUILDING collapsed on her in thanks!!!! BRO OKAY LIKE I GET THE SYMBOLISM THEY WERE GOING FOR, BREAK THE CYCLE AND END VENGEANCE OR WHATEVER, BUT IT WOULDVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL IF SHE HAD SAVED THE PARENTS, THAT LITTLE GIRL, AND HERSELF IN THE PROCESS!!!! SHE GETS THEM OUT, IT LOOKS LIKE SHE DIED, TURNS UP AT THE END OF THE SEASON AND GOES TO THERAPY, SURVIVES S10 AND THEN FUCKS OFF WITH GARMADON TO REMEMBER HOW TO BE A FAMILY!!!!! IM GOING FERAL THINKING ABOUT WHAT RUMI COULDVE BEEN BRO!!!! SHE WAS ALREADY SO GOOD AND THEN THEY JUST!!! DROPPED HER!!!!!!!!!! AND I DONT THINK IM EVER GONNA NOT BE MAD ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EVIL DAUGHTER DESERVED BETTER AND I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ESPECIALLY since just about every season after she dies, there’s SOME reference to how hurt Lloyd is that she’s gone, or how badly she fucked him up, and basically just dragging out that fake forced romance longer than it kinda should’ve been dragged out. Literally none of that matters!!!! Or, it does, but not NEARLY as much as Rumi’s squandered potential matters!!!! And honestly I just think it would’ve been a much better dynamic if Lloyd and Rumi had gone from “hey I thought we were dating but you tried to kill me” and “I hate your fucking guts and blame you for the deaths of my parents :)” to “siblings who irritate the CRAP out of each other but are low key ride-or-die”. Let them be SIBLINGS for fucks SAKE

Oh I didn’t really talk about her gf did I?? Well one of Rumi’s underlings is a punk biker named UltraViolet and like, none of it was TEXT, but Rumi and UltraViolet DEFINITELY had something going on. I choose to interpret it as evil lesbians because I think it’s what they deserve, but that’s just me lmao (and I’m right)

Ooh no WAIT, UltraViolet got yeeted to prison post-s9, and honestly if Rumi has lived I think she would’ve faced the same fate (still, she needs therapy at SOME point), so in my personal canon the first thing Garmadon does after fucking off post-s10 is he busts Rumi and UV out of jail and then they like. Idk. Travel or something. Discover the meaning of family. Go to therapy together (how many times can I say therapy in a single post??? Let’s Find Out). Fucking LIVE dude, I just want them to be HAPPY