#i dont live in that reality though | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

a-little-bit-poss · 2 months ago

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#i am getting myself upset about my mom ignoring my schedule when planning the gathering and then asking me to change mine #im upset about it #but i know there were steps i couldve take and can take #i couldve spoken up when she said her plans #but i thought about what happened last year when it turned out everyone elses schedules were planned around #i couldve done what my mom asked and begged my boss to let me adjust my hours #wouldve been better for everyone probably and wouldnt have been too hard just really annoying and a hassle #i could just not go #or express my frustration to my mom (would be better than letting it fester like this)#but i told myself its not worth getting upset about family stuff and i cant change their behavior #that i might as well just keep my head down and get thru it #i could like advocate for myself in some way but for pride reasons i seem to be choosing to be miserable about it #wouldnt it be nice if getting someone your schedule more than a month in advance meant it would be taken into account #i dont live in that reality though #i dunno #i already told my mom my boss said no to avoid expressing the frustration #in my mind im like 'i wish my mom cared enough to take me into consideration' but i know thats not entirely fair #especially when im not speaking up #its been a while since ive thought like that #in a week it wont even matter anymore

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frobby · 1 month ago

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Yukio doesn't realize rin was lonely because he was key contributor to said loneliness

#Uweh #Rin does this too so just as a disclaimer so we're not dog piling on yukio #But one of yukios biggest communication issues is that hes fundamentally wrong about rin #'Rin had it easy cuz he got to live a normal life i was alone' not realizing that rin was also alone #He was so focused on making sure things stayed the same that he didnt realize things had already changed #One of yukios biggest character conflicts is also that he has internalized ableism #Just kidding....kind of #Hes terrified of becoming the monster that he perceives his brother to be #Anyway #Someone on another post said that yukio prolly does know rin was lonely and felt vindicated by that #Probably so deep he doesnt actually know he feels that way but its probably a 'serves you right'#Yukio doesnt have friends but he doesnt NEED them hes an adult and his brother is a child for wanting them #Kids who dont act right cant complain when they get abandoned #Thats a line directly from aono kun #Yall thought i was lying i wasnt #To summarize yukio though rin was normal cuz his family couls actually be his family #Their father actually acted like his dad whereas with yukio he was an authority figure #But in reality his family spent all their time with yukio praising yukio and rin got abandoned emotionally #Hes a troublemaker he cant rely on anyone cuz all he'll ever be is a villain at least his family is safe #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #yukio okumura #rin okumura #okumura twins

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triglycercule · 2 months ago

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horror is so BLESSED he's the only one out of the murder time trio that has actual good people trying to influence his story 💔💔 dust and killer were both driven to INSANITY because of the choices of their respective humans but horror??? every time without FAIL the polls for horrortale's plotline have always ended in a good place for aliza (either by bettering her relationships/reputation or for her to just. not DIE)

horrortale's potential alternate timelines my beLOVEd🙏🙏 they're SO lucky that we're being kind and benevolent hehe (≧ω≦) now where are the aus based off the possible different outcomes that could've happened in horrortale HUH???? (like how aliza couldve killed toriel or chosen horror's puzzle or gone with undyne to the core........)

#something something all three of them have their fates determined by an outside force #ermmmm but horror doesn't- yeah he does. what aliza does decides EVERYTHING for horror and horrortale #just because its not direct like dust or killer doesn't mean theyre all subject to the same community x3 #PARALLELS MTT PARALLELS FOR THE 500TH TIME THEY HAVE SOOOO MANY PARALLELS OHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDD #mtt going to visit horrortale would just be dust eying aliza (out of paranoia. he knows shes a good kid)#and then killer knowing in his head that the poor kid aliza that horror weirdly seems to like doesn't have control over her actions #she doesn't know horror doesn't know nobody knows except killer. is that a bit sad?#theyre all living in the dark unaware of the reality of their world. i mean thats how its meant to be after all thats what the players want #but....... it would be tempting to tell horror...... hehehehehe- and then he's interrupted by horror and dust #(theyre trying to get killer to eat papyrus's spaghetti in their place. he's the only one that can stomach it even though there's no human)#mtt i love thee SOOOOO much. theyre back in horrortale for the holidays ✨✨ coming back to visit the family ✨✨ WHAT horror's visiting.......#not dust or killer of course. this isnt their world noooope thats not papyrus. but that doesn't stop dust from having everyone like him #its just like the good old days :333 except now there's three sanses and triple the insanity :333 almost like nothing's changed!!!!!#oh killer??? yeah he's there. probably won't try taking up the sansish type of role horror and dust do but he'll find a way to get used 2 i #after all the point of this is whatever he wants it to be now ;33333 were these tags all just a reference to my mtt fic. yes. yes they were #LMAOOOO i forgot that aliza didn't fall into horrortale yet in my fic. still a fun thing to imagine tho!!!#i think it would be fun having aliza be the first of humans for horrortale to deal with that they won't instantly kill #itll be hard but really rewarding for all of them........ especially horror i believe!!! man he didnt even go through therapy but #just being away from horrortale and out doing new and FUN and NOT MURDEROUS things has done wonders for him :3 #i need to get to writing smh..... winter break is the day after tomorrow (TECHNICALLY AT 2:32 PM SINCE THSYS WHEN SCHOOL ENDS SO HAHAHA)#so ill probably work on it more over break since i'll have nothing to do hehe.......#today was an amazing day for me ✨ TWO mtt angst death related hcs..... some work on my latest chapter i've yet to post..... SWAPINVERSE FAN #ARE YOU KIDDING ME MORR SWAPINVERSE ART THIS IS SOOOO AMAZING THABK YOU UNTITLED29876011111 I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS!!!!!#tricule rant #killer sans #dust sans #horror sans #murder time trio #utmv #sans au

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funkervogt · 11 days ago

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(Realizes that the most common transman experiences perfectly align with my life and feelings about myself and fascinations and who I want to be with) Ohhhh Okay i am fucked

#I do really wish i could just snap my fingers and pilot a cisman's body around #Rather than go through the crucible of visibly transitioning. it seems like a waste to do it when the times are so awful.#I honestly still doubt myself so much but #I can only do so many years of Why are you perceiving me as a woman #Before the shit starts getting real #People really just dont take you fucking seriously. Like even at this point where im at now i still dont know if im quote unquote valid #Because maybe its just a feminist issue and the misogyny is rampant #But an emotional sensitive defensive anxious reactive woman is what i am seen as. Somehow.#When I have gone lengths to ensure that even those close to me do not see a hint of my unchained emotional reality. Just really beats it in #I am entirely logical when I describe my experiences to my family. Clinical and detatched and intentional. And they think i am to be coddle #All the fucking time. Exhausting. I don't want that. I want to come to mutual understanding. Not to beg for emotional attention.#Thats the only thing that ever visibly cracks me. Being horribly misunderstood and taken out of context. Logical self defense being denied.#And being full of estrogen just reinforces that shit. Im a frustration crier. If I had testosterone maybe it wouldnt prove people right.#When you bite back as a woman you are just a bitch.#My fear is that I will be an emotional transgender man that wants to be coddled. I am afraid it will be worse to be that.#I really do just want to be able to live and work and be taken seriously when I say what I mean and what my mind is like.#I want a chance at life. I feel like I'm seen as a hapless girl. Damaged and begging to be freed of all responsibility #No bitch I want to move out and actively build a life for myself and RAISE MYSELF! after years of being misunderstood and alone #And also i want to do homosexual war reenactments with another man or something i dont know i just wish it could be me #Maybe ill just donate blood and faint again #Anyway. Joker. Society. I am the joker #Who wanna reply and tell me if im a valid transman or not. I get chest dysphoria when i have proper posture.#I get ass and hip dysphoria.#Low key having a bangin body as a woman though confuses me still bc maybe i just like being hot more than i gaf about transitioning #It reeeeeally helps that my face has an impeccable T zone. Its kind of masc as hell.

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javierduffy · 1 month ago

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ohh javieran … javieran post kieran’s death .., javier is a poor lonesome cowboy in america a long way from home with no more sweetheart to sit and talk with him ooohhh can anyone hear me ….

#someone on tiktok found poor lonesome cowboy in an old archival-esque book of cowboy and campfire songs and as soon as i saw this i gasped #ummm burst into tears actually ! thanks ! i’m so sad !#poor lonesome coyotito who parted from his city and who has no sweetheart to sit and talk with him ☹️#they make me miserable #i was just gonna put this in my drafts but i already have 15 drafts and i fear if i continue to put ideas in my drafts “for later’’ i will #never make another post again … so instead of setting myself up for disappointment i’m just gonna start posting like i do on twt #which is where i post every unfiltered thought i have :)#it’s MY blog and I get to make useless textposts constantly because i know im incapable of making any actual content atm #i’m hoping to draw something based off of this some day though :( i’m already having ideas #usually i sit in my mind palace and tinker with my au where kieran lives but unfortunately sometimes i must face reality and think about #javier’s loss and heartbreak in canon <//3 #i need to rewatch kieran’s death cutscene and see where javier is and what he does because i’ll have to write his initial #response to grief depending on that :/#whether he’s frozen in disbelief or actively involved in the retrieval of kieran’s body (if he’s even around at all)#javier isn’t really the type to scream and sob out in pain in the moment but i do think that when he finally had a moment to himself (likely #all the way in chapter six considering how chaotic everything gets and how he’s involved in like … everything following that) (which also re #minds me that he literally goes and gets tortured in guarma immediately after losing his lover. i have to kill myslf. anyway.)#i think it probably hits him like a train and he begins to hack and throw up like the weight of grief is literally crushing his organs from #the inside out 😕 javier escuella the lover that you are sets you up for such devastating heartbreak im so sorry #idek how much i want to tag this. maybe ill pull a moss and start using my own tags for characters #rdr2 #image #hero's talking to himself again #hero’s kieran #hero’s javier #hero’s javieran #just so i dont have to clog up tags 💛#i will tag #javieran #as normal though

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deus-ex-mona · 1 month ago

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she’s so proud of herself…

#forgot all about this bonus till i rearranged my merch drawer earlier lmao #[sighs and adds to the chizuchan raws folder]#[pokes ani.mate] still no vol 2 bonuses yet…?#i hope there’s a wholesome and/or funny vol 2 bonus to offset chapters 6 and 7 (delusional)#i dont think i’ll tl the bonus manga (if there’s actually one) for vol 2 thoughhhh. im still soooooo far behind on idolsengen #in fact im so far behind that i organised my merch drawer as a means of procrastination… s i g h s #though it seems that i have more mona merch than i thought lmao.#kinda thinking of tling the volume summaries of idolsengen thoughhhh. it never crossed my mind to do it till now tbh #(the summary bits at the back of the volumes arent included with the ebook)#but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ani.mate bonus announcements w h e n #they’re p consistent with bonuses so…#all of the artist’s previous hw manga vols ([redacted] manga included) came with bonus manga so…#a n d all 5 of idolsengen’s vols came with a bonus shikishi (s o b s) sooooooooo #no clue about the dolce manga though… that ended eons ago…#but i gotta say… the dolce manga is kinda similar in vibes to the chizuchan manga #it’s all fun and games for a while then suddenly *the plot* hits you like a truck #especially with the fuuma-centric chapters at the end of each volume… the shirayuki siblings… man.#fuuma crossdressing to look like his sister to make her dream of becoming an idol come true (if only in appearance)…#shiina being so loved by everyone around her and *so* close to becoming an idol herself…#and fuuma having to face the reality that he may not get to help his sister live out her idol dreams in the way he wants to for much longer…#…yeah. i miss dolce…#…no clue where im going with this bc this was supposed to be about chizuchan manga bonuses but here’s where we’ve ended up ig #anyways read the dolce manga. it’s good for your skin (lies)#(jk but the *plot* part of the dolce manga plot is heartbreaking. everyone should read it)#chizuchan manga 🤝 idolsengen 🤝 dolce manga: hw idol series manga with a hard-hitting *plot* underneath the frills and ribbons and silliness #(though granted idolsengen is usually only silly in the bonus chapters. thank you moge for your hard work)#o k that’s enough thinking for 1 day; back to sobbing over the shirayuki sibs

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dandyshucks · 11 months ago

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blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl

#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭#and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads #which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those #so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time #i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos #ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl #the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl #every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!!#''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/#''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍#I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ????#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.#vent //#SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community #i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos #it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl #i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl #(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it)#(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl)#delete later #dandyshucks

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macchiatosdumptruck · 5 months ago

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Possibly a hot take but I think maybe so many newer fans are so obsessed with amping up the "family" part of the bat family because cookie cutter found family dynamics are more palatable than whatever the fuck challenging interpersonal relationships they actually have

#and that's also why i feel like “bat antis” are so against shipping because thwyre so stuck with the idea that this are a traditional family #somehow #when in reality dick is like. Bruce's ward. his wife. his care taker. his partner. his disaappintment. the only one who understands him #jason is the most like a 'traditional ' son because bruce feels he failed him the most #tim came to HIM. he was always a partner more than a son. timm took care of him. it was batman and Robin before bruce and tim #damian is the only actual family tie there and even thats messy.#dont get me started on the girls. bruce sidint wven want Stephanie involved for the longest time #like. yes he collects strays. but not in a dad way. something much more complex and guilt driven #i feel like tim is almost of a “work wife” of bruce tbh #tbc though i havent kept up since like 2012 and i know theyve been trying to retcon the batfam dynamics to be more palatable #also the “they're literally family” argument is atupid because again. they're literally not.#they werent raised together. dont live together. depending on the satus of canon not technically adopted #wtc.#batfam #dc

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froginaskinsuit · 1 year ago

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born to stand at smokey 1920s jazz bars with velveteen lounge chairs and good music while looking mildly mysterious in a slutty suit that only slightly gives away my position in the criminal underworld

forced to exist in the age of thirty second music snippets

#dont get me wrong that music is still great and valid #but sometimes it's just like #i wanna be there #with the #jazz #and #swing #and the 1920s aesthetic but not the reality of living in that time #bc alskdjdhskdkdjdjdj #can y'all tell I'm going #crazy #yeahhhhh #live music is amazing though #we need more places where the performers can be appreciated #and listened to #skinsuit notes #thank u for coming to my ted talk

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silverselfshippingchaos · 18 days ago

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I miss S.hepard. The third game always makes my heart hurt lmao

#ash rambles 💚#i dont think he ever comes back #and ash's reaction to it just hurts every single time #these two will never get to have that happy ending or get married like how they wanted #it'll always be ash coming home by herself #and i love writing fluff about these two because they're sooo fucking adorable! but i think they both know that in the end..#maybe things won't work out #it's a very tragic love story #the way their touches linger.. how they stay so close after a kiss.. ash wants to have hope but... and he knows that he's willing #to sacrifice it all for the galaxy #i do have an AU where they do get to get married (he proposes on thessia and asks her to be his eternity btw. really romantic!) but...#it'll never be and that's the reality of this ship #I'm not upset about it much but it just is how it is. it allows for so much fun character writing though.#ohhh ash begging him to let her go with him even though she's covered in her own blood and can't even walk #ash sobbing and saying that she's not weak anymore. she can help him. if he goes.. then she'll be alone #and him smiling and telling her to make it home #and ash through her tears saying that he is her home. but by the time she can whisper one last 'i love you'.. he's already walking away #sigh..#these two #annnddd I'm crying again-#i actually really like writing it and i like that these two never get to have their cute ending but gah it's so devastating.. ouchie..#these two are a really adorable fairy tale kinda relationship. they're star-crossed lovers.#a whole galaxy to explore and they found each other. their whole lives were leading up to them meeting.#in another life maybe.#I'm with you until the end 🌌#... and with him she was. she really was.

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hibernating-stag · 2 months ago

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I got to yap about Venom in a call yesterday, and you'd think that would get all my nervous energy about that guy out of my system but it Has Not :)

Peace and Love :)

#I guess I'm theorising more than analysing him this time though?#DONT tell me if I'm wrong or right about this next bit ok #okay so- GG characters grow and change over time right? I've been thinking about how that could've started for Venom #but Venoms been shown to be the type of person to grab on tight to what he knows and refuse to let go #Venom knows how to be an assassin and he knows how to be an extension of someone elses will #I think... If we're truly going to shake that foundation enough for it to collapse. Venom needs someone to bounce off of who just #doesn't need that from him #Chipp was really close but I can see why they didn't go that route the more I think about it-#while I like the idea of them. In reality Venom would just be an extension of someone elses aspirations again you know?#It wouldn't feel right.#and its definitely not happening with the gulld- Venoms defences are Up around them and I can't blame him for that #I think Venom needs connection outside of the people that know him already.#if Venom stays isolated like he is now he's free to keep this idea he has of himself #if Venom connects with someone disconnected from the world he lives in now #it could kickstart some development!#bwahh does that make any sense to anyone whos not me-#...#... is this how they utilise the. robot-?#dont answer that #yappin'

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loumandforyou · 3 months ago

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I love how my country is first (or in the top 5) in Europe for negative stuff like yay for us but it's also really romanticised for holidays, especially from non Europeans.

#right now we are the poorest country #comparing our income and the cost of living #but even here I see posts about how people want to spend months in a greek city/island cause it's amazing #and don't get me wrong it's a beautiful country #but the reality is so different #and I'm also thinking about how europe is sometimes considered as one #like the usa #but how can you compare UK to us #or denmark etc?#you know what I mean #also if you read this you are always free to ask me questions #about my country #cause I love talking about it #even though i dont always love it #sorry for the random rant #personal

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girlthingdecay · 1 year ago

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