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thechangeling · 4 years ago

Text

Enough.

So a while ago I made a headcannon post about Ty's sexuality and the autistic exploration of sex and sexual desire. I have now written a fic about it. This ones for Alex @bedspells my very own Alyssa. Also side note I want to make it clear that yes, I still ship kitty 100%. But I've seen plenty of people write fics and headcannons about Kit exploring things with other people. There's no reason why Ty can't do the same.

Edit: Ok a long time ago this fic actually got a hate comment on Ao3 saying that I was erasing Ty's sexuality by having him hook up with a girl because he was cannonly gay due to a tweet CC made in 2013. Now I don't even have twitter and I wasn't a part of the fandom back then. Despite all of that I actually don't really consider that to be the basis of canon? And in the books he doesn't really express interest in anyone except for Kit. So as far as I'm concerned this was fair game. Not to mention gay people sometimes experiment before they realize they're gay. Especially autistic people!! And that was actually kind of the point of this fic. So maybe just keep that in mind going forward. Thanks!

Tw for mentions and discussions of sex.

Ty could count the instances he hadn't been bothered by another person's touch on one hand. This was certainly one of them. It was so late into the night it could certainly be considered the next morning. Anush, Ty and Alyssa had been doing research on Livvy and the effect she seemed to be having on a serge of demonic activity in the area.

Ty was fairly stressed about the possibility to say the least. It felt like everything was spilling away from him. Livvy, his family, his career.

Kit.

He really didn't want to think about Kit but it was difficult. It was like trying to ignore a bleeding wound that everyone kept referring to as a paper cut.

The shining lights in all of this were Anush and Alyssa. Befriending both of them had been the best part of coming to the scholomance.

Especially Alyssa.

Meeting someone who shared some of his thoughts, feelings and experiences was more then refreshing. It was liberating. Talking, laughing and crying with Alyssa about the things that no one else would understand was like a balm for Ty's soul.

At a certain point Anush had announced that he was retiring to bed and they should both probably do the same. Livvy was still floating around the room observing their work. But as time went on Ty had stopped paying as much attention to her. Now he was resting against Alyssa with his head in her lap. She was sitting on the couch in the library, carefully running her fingers through his hair and rambling on about something, Ty wasn't exactly sure what.

Ty reached up to wrap a lock of her long dark hair around his finger, then watched it spring back into place again. Alyssa's hair was wavy but not curly like- like some peoples. So it didn't spring and bounce very well. That was the interesting thing about Ali in general. So many parts of her dress and appearance were so neat and polished and well put together that Ty almost wondered what it would be like to see her more disheveled. What would it be like to grab and twist and pull until she was left with something that wasn't glossy perfect waves.

Ty panicked a little at that thought. Where exactly had that come from? He was now more then ever painfully aware of the fact that he was lying in an attractive person's lap. And his sister was still in the same room.

Ty looked up to search for Livvy but realized that she was gone. Guiltily he realized she could have been gone for awhile now. But he hadn't noticed. Lately he had been feeling further and further away from his twin and he hated it.

"Do you think stars have feelings?" Alyssa asked wistfully. Ty laughed joyfully, feeling so light and and so far away from every bad thing that had happened three years ago.

"Because I was just thinking," she continued. "Like, what if they're lonley you know?" Ty had to smile at the Alyssa charm of it all. Also the autistic perspective might have had something to do with it.

"I don't know," Ty said, sitting up. "Maybe they're like us. Maybe they like being alone." Alyssa pondered this for awhile.

"Well no one can be alone forever," she pointed out, then laughed, rolling her eyes. "God how did we get here? Remember when we were supposed to be doing actual work Ty?"

"Well we were stupid to think that would last," Ty announced matter of factly. Alyssa shrugged and leaned back against the sofa.

"Probably. Once the neurotypical left it was all downhill from there."

"I disagree, Ty said softly, meeting her gaze. "I enjoy spending time with you." Alyssa instantly smiled, the kind of beautiful, honest, heartfelt smile that allistic people wrote poetry about.

Instantly Ty was reminded of someone else, another brilliant smile.

He shook it off.

"Me too," Alyssa finally answered. Then she shook her head. "Ugh feelings. Gross."

Ty rolled his eyes at her and laughed.

Then Alyssa sat up again as she seemed to remember something. "Oh yeah I meant to ask you about Anush. Do you like him?"

Ty shrugged. "Yeah he's really nice. He's become a good friend."

Alyssa shook her head. "No, no Ty, I mean-" She paused. "I mean do you like him like you wanna date him? Or do you have romantic feelings for him?" She asked.

Ty paused. He honestly wasn't sure. He had been trying to avoid thoughts of those types of feelings for a very specific reason. A Herondale reason. But the truth was he did like really like Anush. He enjoyed being around him. Ty just wasn't sure what that meant.

"I'm not sure," he answered honestly. "Maybe." Alyssa fiddled with her hair, rubbing it between her fingers.

"Hmm. Well do you even like boys?" She asked. "I just realised I've known you for five months now and I dont really know what your deal is," she said contemplating. "Like sexual orientation wise. I mean not that it matters, it totally doesn't," she stammered.

Ty shrugged. "It was never really relevant before. But I'm not really sure. I guess I'm fine with whatever." Alyssa beamed.

"So I guess that means you're kinda like me huh? She said happily. "I'm pansexual. Women are so beautiful and angelic and soft and squishy and awesome, but men can be good too," she mused. "I mean men are......men, but some of them aren't so bad. I mean look at you!" Alyssa tossed her hair back over her shoulder.

"Thanks," Ty responded dryly.

"Anyways you know what I mean," Alyssa waved her hand. "So are you attracted to him at least?" Ty sighed.

"Yeah I am," he admitted. "But I don't- I don't want a relationship Ali. I just can't."

Alyssa studied him for a moment. "Does this have anything to do with the Herondale pendent you wear that you always tell me never to ask questions about?"

Ty scowled. "Yes, but I don't want to talk about it." Alyssa rolled her eyes and put her hands up in surrender.

"Fucking shit fuck! Fine!" She complained. "Anyways, my point is you dont need to date him neccesarily. Just have sex with him and see how you feel?"

Ty sat up and faced her. "What?"

Alyssa laughed. "You heard me. There's nothing wrong with causal sex between consenting adults. I mean, if you want to."

Ty felt the urge to stand up to try and aliviate some of the anxiety he was feeling, but he stayed sitting.

"I've never done it before," he admitted. Ty was 19, he knew most of the people his age had already had some sort of sexual experience. But he had always been too afraid. Too afraid of people touching him and demanding things from him with harsh vague bullshit. In Ty's mind it was just another social interaction that he could screw up and then pay the price for it.

Alyssa shrugged. "It's no big deal. Virginity is just a social construct anyways." Alyssa was playing with her hair casually and biting her lip slightly, to indicate that she was mulling something over.

Ty shook his head trying to explain it. "No, it's- I mean see, you say that, but, one of the things I've learned about this world is that social constructs kind of matter to a lot of people." Ty was taping his fingers against his leg and trying to stop himself from shaking. Alyssa noticed this.

"Because people tell you that's it's no big deal and not to worry, and then other people make it into a big deal like it means something, and then everyone's telling you to do something different," Ty explained with a panicked, rushed voice. "I don't know who you listen to, or what to do!" He was moving his hands frantically while he spoke to emphasize his points.

"Hey it's ok," she cooed, inching towards him. "Trust yourself. Or if you feel like you can't, then trust me." Ty felt a pang in his chest. A cacophony of conflicting emotions erupted within him. But mostly he found that despite his better judgement he actually believed her.

They had created something different between the two of them. Something that almost transcended labels or rules or traditional allistic boundaries. Alyssa was like the armor he put on every morning, with the strength and confidence that he wasn't alone in this world. In the midst of all of their jokes and late night heartbreaking conversations. In the midst of this fragile peace they had created, there was something there. Something indescribable.

Something like the sound of the page being turned in one of his Sherlock novels, or the sound of their favourite songs. A connection. A lifeline.

Ty looked over at Alyssa's concerned face and smiled softly. "I trust you," he promised. "I don't really trust many people, but I've always trusted you," he admitted. Alyssa inhaled sharply. She made an interesting facial expression that might have been a facial stim and then gaped for awhile before finally closing her mouth and avoiding Ty's gaze.

"Yeah that's cool. I trust you too," she said casually. She had gone back to pulling at her poor hair which was shedding everywhere. Anush always joked that he could always tell where Alyssa was by following the trail of hair.

"So, about the whole sex thing," she continued rather unceremoniously. Ty had to laugh a little. "Do you think it's something you're actually interested in? Or do you just feel like you have to?" She asked.

Ty pondered this for a moment. "I think I might want to. I just want to be with someone that I trust. Someone who will be considerate of my boundries, you know?" Ty did a quick glance around the room to make sure Livvy was still gone.

"Wait she's not here right?" Alyssa asked anxiously, catching on. Ty shook his head.

Alyssa paused for a moment, looking lost in thought. She was flicking her fingernails against each other and continuing to murder her bottom lip by chewing on it. Finally she looked up at him, looking rather amused.

"Ok. This might just be the exhaustion talking, or the autism, or a combination of both. So if you feel uncomfortable with what I'm about to say, then afterwards we can just forget it ok?" Alyssa sounded serious. Ty just nodded, trying not to be concerned.

Alyssa gave him an interesting look, one that he was pretty sure he had never recieved before. Her eyes scanned him up and down, then she smirked.

"I could potentially offer my services," she said innocently. Ty blinked a few times, then continued to stare at her. She stared back unflinching.

Wait. What?

Ty shook his head in confusion. "Hold on. Wait. You mean-?" He cut himself off. Alyssa nodded with that same smirk. "Yeah I mean why not right?" She shrugged, relaxing back against the sofa. "But if you dont want to then that's totally fine."

"Wait." Ty attempted to clear his head and stay focused. He stayed frozen for awhile, thinking. Then he folded his arms around himself, applying pressure. "Why exactly?"

Alyssa shrugged again. "Well why not? You're hot. I'm hot, and besides you know me," she pointed out. She paused, and then giggled.

"Four hours into investigating the paranormal phenomenon of his dead twin sister and chill, then she offers to take his virginity," she cackled. "I so enjoy our quality time together."

"The way your mind works really concerns me sometimes, you know that?" He asked playfully. Alyssa rolled her eyes at him and shoved him gently.

"Hey you don't have to, it was just an idea," she said, raising her hands in defense. Ty was silent. He was still thinking about it.

"Most people don't really do stuff like this right?" He asked warily. "Like most friends don't just randomly hook up and then laugh it off later."

Alyssa shook her head slowly. "Honey do you see me laughing?"

Ty was conflicted. There was something in him, a new, complicated feeling. A burning desire that nagged at the back of his mind everytime Alyssa bit her lip or pouted.

If he was really honest with himself. Ty could remember another time when he felt this way. But that was different, that was-.

He shook his head. No. Ty wasn't thinking about that anymore. He needed a distraction.

"God I can practically hear you thinking over here Ty," Alyssa teased. "Listen. If it freaks you out to much then we can forget about it. But-." She paused and reached towards him. Their fingertips met and she slowly dragged her fingertips down the top of Ty's hand.

"I want to do this for you because I care about you," she said solemnly. "I want make you feel good. Because you're special, and I dont mean that in the bullshit ableist way. I mean I think that you're special because you have such a big heart and you care so much," she said with a laugh.

Ty felt like he was about to cry. He was taking in long deep breaths trying not to get overwhelmed. He didnt know how to respond to this, this kind of attention and praise. His heart felt warm and tight absorbed in so much fondness and melancholy and regret all at once.

He knew this wasn't anything like what had happened that day on the beach. This wasn't that kind of love that he was feeling for Alyssa and that was a good thing. Romantic love, he decided, was too complicated.

"You deserve good things and good experiences. You deserve to have your first time be somewhere familiar. Somewhere you feel safe, and with someone who loves you." Alyssa wiped her eyes on the back of her hand.

"God sorry for getting all emotional like that," she joked.

Ty couldn't speak, so he just squeezed her hand. He hoped she would understand.

I love you too.

Ty took a breath, then nodded. "Yeah," he admitted. "Yeah I want that. I want you."

Alyssa exhaled, then grinned. "Ok then. Great. I'll see if I can pencil you in sometime this week," she joked. Ty cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Oh," he murmered, suprised with how disappointed he felt. "You mean later?" Alyssa laughed.

"Well yeah, I mean aren't you tired?"

"Are you?" Ty countered.

Alyssa shrugged. "Hey you know how it is, autistic sleep cycle. I'm gonna be up for awhile. I just figured you might want some time to think."

Ty shook his head. "No I don't want to think anymore. I'm tired of thinking Ali. I'm tired of worrying and overanalyzing everything." His eyes met hers, she seemed a little worried.

She moved closer to him so that she was practically in his lap. "You need a distraction," she said matter of factly. "It's ok." She moved her hands from his arms to grasp his waist.

"Is this good?"

Ty flinched. "More pressure," he replied in a tone that was hopefully not too demanding. Alyssa pressed her fingertips down harder into his skin. A soothing feeling washed over him.

"Good?" She asked, scratching his skin with her fingernails. Ty just nodded, feeling slightly dazed.

Alyssa smiled, lowering herself gracefully into his lap. Everything she did was with precision and grace. Alyssa was a dancer. It was one of her special interests. She had stopped taking lessons a long time ago though because she found it challenging to dance in a group.

She could never copy what everyone else was doing exactly on count when she was supposed to. She was always going off and improvising on her own. There was probably a metaphor in there somewhere.

Alyssa's weight against him was comforting. She was moving her hands up and down his back underneath his shirt while still applying pressure. Ty felt heat beginning to pool in the base of his stomach. He stared at her curiously, taking in her soft curves and her smooth golden skin.

"Can I touch you?" Ty asked, feeling his fingers twitch.

Alyssa moved her hands to his chest. "Sure." She said softly. "Just be careful. Remember pressure and all of that, and try to avoid my stomach area. For some reason it's really sensitive." Ty nodded, instantly reaching for her long wavy dark hair and twisting his fingers around it, pulling slightly. She laughed.

This drew Ty's attention to her mouth. Her lips were cracked and rough looking from Alyssa constantly biting them, but Ty still wanted to kiss her. He had never kissed anyone before. He needed to know what it felt like.

He moved his hands to her shoulders and then to her sides, pulling Alyssa even closer. "Can you teach me how to kiss?" He asked looking her in the eye briefly. She snorted.

"I don't think you'll like it very much," she murmered. "It's not really a good sensory experience. At least not for me. Allistic people seem to like it though."

Ty nodded. "Exactly that's my point," he said, using one hand to cradle the side of her neck. "I need to learn for other people later on." He absentmindedly pressed his thumb into one of the divots in her neck, just to fill the space. Alyssa sighed and dug her fingernails into his chest.

"Ok fine but you're gonna hate the tounge thing," she breathed. She leaned down very slowly and then carefully pressed her lips to Ty's, kissing him softly.

It was a weird sensation but not entirely unpleasant. Ty happily slid his hands back into her hair and began to fiddle with a few thick pieces. Alyssa moved her own hands up his chest to cradle her face, applying pressure with thumbs against his cheekbones.

Alyssa deepened the kiss and slid her tounge into his mouth. Instantly Ty winced and felt every cell in his body seize up. But he didn't stop. He was determined to figure this out. If he wanted to kiss someone who wasn't autistic in the future then he would need to. Ty relaxed his body and kissed her back forcefully, making out with Alyssa until the uncomfortable noise in his head was too much and he broke the kiss.

Ty shook his head and Ali laughed, stroking his hair. "I fucking told you so," she exclaimed. Ty shut his eyes and allowed his breathing to return to normal.

"Ok so that's something we can forget about for now, thank god. The beauty of this whole situation is that we dont have to follow any allistic script for this sort of thing." Ty opened his eyes. Alyssa was watching him carefully, still only centimeters away from his face.

"So is there anything you want to do?" She asked him. "Just tell me and I'll see if we can make it happen."

Ty saw no need to maintain any sort of filter. "Well there are a lot of things actually, but for some reason I really want to bite you," he said pointedly, glancing down at her neck. Alyssa burst out laughing, nearly falling over.

Ty glared at her. "I'm sorry," she gasped breathlessly. "I'm sorry it's just,-," she regained her composure, shaking her head. "I just love how we all used to be the weird kids who growled and hissed at people on the playground if they bothered us and now as adults we're just super kinky. Like it's kind of poetic in a way," she laughed.

Ty rolled his eyes. There was no need to ask what she meant by we. When Alyssa said we, it only referred to one thing.

"I'm sure it's not absolutely every autistic person," he protested. "Also we should move, on account of the fact that this is still a public setting." Alysza's eyes widened as if she had just remembered that.

"Oh right. Shit, as if these people needed any more reasons to hate me. Let's go!" She rolled off of Ty and stood in front if him, holding out her hand. "We can use my room." Ty stayed sitting, taking a moment to fully absorb it all.

He couldn't help but feel the weight of the Herondale pendent against his chest as a heavy reminder. He willed himself not to get distracted. Alyssa smiled at him slightly, almost as if she knew.

"Enough," she said softly.

Ty didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure if their was anything he wanted say. Then finally he understood.

"Enough," he echoed back.

He took her outstretched hand and let her take him away.

@ti-bae-rius @eutony-in-whisper @dianasarrow @dianasarrow @stxr-thxif @talia-lightwood @doitforthecarstairs @thelandunderthehilll @zfoxdraws @waterlillies

#tda #the dark artifices #tsc #twp #the wicked powers #ty blackthorn #Alyssa Reyes #autistic representation #Fae's oc

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fcntasmas-archive · 4 years ago

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SKAM | Even/Isak | 900+ words

Thank you so much to decraziness for tipping me on my Ko-Fi! Your support means the absolute world to me. The prompt is as follows:

“My prompt is I dont know how to tell you this. I never really cared for your coffee. for Evak.”

Your prompt is under the cut, and I thank you once again for your support. My prompts are currently closed, but if you’d like to support me at all feel free to buy me a coffee and let me know what I can do to make your day a little brighter! Enjoy!

He doesn’t mean for it to be so dramatic, but.

Isak’s been making his own coffee for a long time, okay. He’s perfected it. It’s an art. He didn’t always have a guilt-ridden father who was willing to give him money for whatever he wanted: before that, he had to figure out the stove and the appliances and all that shit himself, so forgive him for thinking his coffee is absolutely perfected. He could make a good cup of coffee in his sleep.

So when Even sheepishly admits to not liking his coffee, after effectively living with each other for about two years now, Isak is a little thrown off, alright? He thinks he’s allowed to sit and stare, unblinkingly, at a wall full of pictures of them and their happiest memories, when Isak was none the wiser, believing Even when he hummed happily into the cup of coffee Isak provided him with in the mornings and smiled at him warmly.

“Isak, it’s coffee,” Even tries for the umpteenth time, but Isak can’t look at him. He can’t. It’s not just coffee. Even should know that. Isak isn’t sure how, but he should, damn it.

“I told you I needed a minute.”

“You’ve taken ten,” Even says, suddenly blocking Isak’s view of their Former Happiness. Isak makes a noncommittal noise of disapproval, glares slightly when Even kneels down in front of him. His forearms rest on either one of Isak’s knees, gaze managing to look both apologetic and exasperated. “I love you, but I think it’s time for me to call Dramatics.”

Isak scoffs. “You can’t just call Dramatics every time—”

“You’re being dramatic? I know the rules,” Even raises an eyebrow. “But I have the right to call two Dramatics a month, and if I recall correctly, this is my first of December.”

Isak throws his arms up uselessly. He hates that they gave each other this pass — call Dramatics, and the other is obligated to talk through why they’re so bothered by a situation that, for all intents and purposes, is minuscule in nature. Because we’re not mind readers, Isak, Even had explained to him calmly. But somehow, we expect each other to be in those moments, so I feel like it’s mutually beneficial.

And it has been, except it’s really putting Isak out, because sometimes he wants to act like a petulant child without being called out for it, but.

He’s in an adult relationship now, he guesses. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way — the giddiness around Even hasn’t dissipated at all, and he still feels like a high schooler with a crush when Even does something cute, and the fact that Even refuses to engage with the dryer makes it a little difficult to take him seriously sometimes (“It’s possessed, Isak!”) — but he knows that doesn’t negate the fact that he is, and Even is well within his rights to call Dramatics on this one.

Isak exhales a deep, forlorn sigh, rubs at his face tiredly. “I’ve been making coffee since I was — probably too young to be having coffee, Even.”

Even nods, encouraging for him to continue.

“I don’t know!” Isak looks up, suddenly embarrassed. “I don’t know. If I haven’t perfected coffee after years of making it and — and thinking I’ve been fucking crushing it, what does that say about everything else I’m doing?” He looks back at Even. “What if I suck at everything and I just think I’m doing a good job but really my perception is so out of whack that—” he pauses, then feels his expression turn scandalized. “Do you even think I can rap?”

Even huffs out an amused laugh. “Of course I do, baby,” he says, reaching out to run a hand through Isak’s hair. It’s a little rough, because Isak hasn’t washed it in three days, but Even doesn’t seem to mind it. He never does. “You are good at everything you do, alright? You’re better than most people at most things, and it’s a little frustrating, because it puts me at a great disadvantage.”

Isak raises an eyebrow. “How so?”

“People expect me to be the dreamy boyfriend,” he points out. “I’m taller.”

“That—” Isak scowls. “Not by much.”

“Their expectations are so high that when they find out you’re the obnoxiously perfect boyfriend, it feels as if I’ve disappointed them, too.”

“Shut up.”

Even sighs. “Listen,” he squeezes Isak’s thighs reassuringly. “I’m not even supposed to be drinking that much coffee. You can’t trust my taste buds to know what’s good or not.”

“You’re a cook,” Isak pouts. “Of course you can.”

“Taste is subjective,” Even raises an eyebrow. “Your taste in men is highly questionable, after all.”

Isak blanches a little. “I’m dating you.”

“Exactly,” Even grins widely. “I’m a terrible influence. I haven’t done a load of laundry in two years, Isak. I can’t dry a dish correctly to save my life. My arms are too long for my torso, I think. I snore like a tractor and my eyebrows are triangles, what’s up with that?”

Isak laughs, despite himself. “Out of your control.”

“Still questionable. See? Taste. It’s subjective.”

Isak sniffs, but his smile softens. “I have the best fucking taste, asshole.”

Even sighs. “I’d believe that more if you hadn’t liked Jonas for a while there.”

Isak gapes. “I — he’s a good-looking guy!”

Even makes a face. “Eh. Taste is—”

“Say subjective one more time, I dare you.”

They pause.

“Subjective,” Even whispers, and Isak growls playfully, pulling him in to press their lips together. The kiss is awkward because they keep smiling into it, but they’re used to this angle by now.

“I’m never making you coffee again,” Isak mutters petulantly against his boyfriend’s lips as Even pulls him up from the kitchen chair, leading him into the bedroom.

“Not a punishment,” Even teases, and Isak huffs and pushes Even onto the bed.

“Fine,” he smirks, straddling Even slowly. “I can think of something else.”

#prompt #*d #*#isak x even #skam fanfic

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illfoandillfie · 5 years ago

Text

The Dinner Party

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader + Rami Malek, Lucy Boynton, Joe Mazzello, Gwilym Lee

Summery: Ben finds out about one of your fantasies and offers to help make it a reality.

Warnings: SMUT 18+ !!! it’s a big ol’ gang bang folks! unprotected sex, dom/sub dynamics, sensory deprivation (blindfolds), gags, restraints, choking, slapping, biting, spanking, oral (f and m receiving), a*al, orgasm denial, overstimulation/forced orgasm, nipple play, fingering, degradation, sexual objectification, handjobs, i think thats everything oh god i dont know theres a lot

Words: 11,538 (jesus)

A/N: I am so sorry I made you wait so long for this one - the last couple of months have been fucking whack as heck. Anyway, I hope she was worth waiting for! I’m gonna go have 12 cold showers in a row and scream for a while.

(its so fucking hard to find photos of all of them together jesus christ)

Taglist: @idontbelievethiss @somekindof-cheese @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks

“So, uhh, that fantasy you sent me the other night,” Ben ran his fingers lightly up and down your arm, “You really got off to that?” You could feel the sweat caught between your back and his chest, skin sticking together where you leaned against him. His hand was heavy on your stomach, moving with you as you wiggled around, trying to decrease the sticky discomfort. “Well, yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t have sent it. Was it too much?” It was something you did when you were away from each other. When you’d been apart for too long and you were yearning for each other's touch. You’d message each other with what you’d thought about while masturbating. Like a lot of the little traditions and patterns you and Ben developed, it had started as a joke. But now it felt weird to not do it. Sometimes it was links to porn videos or erotic stories found online. Sometimes it was reminiscences about previous nights together. And sometimes it was just one word. You. “No, it was pretty hot actually.” This time the distance had been caused by Ben’s filming schedule taking him overseas for three whole months. It was the longest you’d been separated in a while, and your game had turned into a bit of a competition. Trying to one up each other with wilder fantasies. You’d sent the last one, drawing on something you’d thought about a lot but never really divulged to anyone before in order to claim victory. The moment you’d hit send you’d worried it was too much. Ben knew you had a thing for exhibitionism and for being treated like an object, happy to help you indulge in them from time to time, but you’d never really exposed how deep they went. His response amounted to an oh my god and a couple of flushed face emojis. No come back, no one upping. Just three words and two little symbols. You hoped it was because he had nothing hotter to counter with and not because you’d freaked him out too much.

Three days later he was back home, hurriedly removing your shirt within minutes of walking through the door. The sex was neither sweet nor soft, though the way Ben sat up and pulled you against him afterwards, kissing your temple in the process, was both. “Glad you think so. It’s one I’ve thought about a lot.” “And you’ve never mentioned it before why?” “I don’t know, not every guy would be cool hearing about how his girlfriend dreams of being used by a bunch of strangers.” “Okay, yeah, spose that’s fair.” He was quiet for a moment, absentmindedly stroking your skin with feather light touches, “But if you got the chance, you’d really want to do something like that?” “I think so, yeah. Maybe not actually with strangers. Don’t think I’d feel comfortable enough to get into it if I didn’t know and trust everyone there. But in theory, yes.” “What if... what if I could arrange for something like it to happen?” “What?” You sat up straight and turned to face him, convinced you’d misheard him. “If I found some people you were comfortable with who... wanted to help make this a reality would you want to do it?” “You’re taking the piss, right?” “I swear I’m being serious. If you wanted to actually do something like that, I’d be into it. I’d help set it up.” “Are you feeling okay?” you pressed the back of your hand to Ben’s forehead like you were checking his temperature but he just laughed, grabbing you by the wrist so he could bring your hand to his lips. “I feel fine, babe.” His smile hit you like a ton of bricks. Fuck you’d missed that smile. “Can’t blame a girl for checking,” “Look, what you described was incredibly hot and the idea of watching you be used like that...” he trailed off but you didn’t need him to say anything else, his rapidly hardening cock was proof enough. You repositioned yourself on your hands and knees, taking his cock in one hand, “You wanna watch me, blindfolded and restrained, being fucked until im crying? Wanna see me helpless and desperate and used by a whole group of people?” Your strokes along his shaft were interrupted as Ben wrapped his hand around your throat. “I really do,” he growled as he pushed you back onto your knees, “but I think I need to fuck you again, make sure you remember who really owns your cunt.”

Ben didn’t mention it again that week, though he barely let you out of his reach. He always got extra clingy and cuddly after you’d been reunited, surprising you with soft deep kisses and tight hugs at random. Always finding some reason to touch you, a hand on your back while you were standing at the stove, brushing fingers as you slipped past each other in the corridor, clutching your waist as he pulled you onto his lap while you played video games together. You figured he’d forgotten about your conversation now that the immediate heat and need for each other had been replaced with a softer desire to just be close. Not that you minded. You were happy to let that fantasy remain a fantasy, and if you were honest you hadn’t fully believed Ben when he suggested making it happen for real. Until he brought it up about a week and a half after his return.

You were watching TV, resting your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around you, when he spoke. “So I got a call from Lucy today, turns out in a couple weeks time the whole band will be in London. We’re planning on meeting up for a few drinks, something like that.” “Oh that’s so great Ben,” you said, pulling your eyes from the ad for bathroom cleaner you’d been mindlessly staring at and looking up at him, “Be nice to see everyone again, all at once.” “Yeah. Actually, I thought I might suggest they all come over here for dinner one night.” “That’s a wonderful idea.” “And, uh, if you were still interested, we could maybe give them all a chance to fuck you.” You choked, an exclamation of surprise catching in your throat. “Sorry, couldn’t resist,” Ben said, almost laughing as he hurried to get you a glass of water. You glared at him through watery eyes as your coughing fit subsided, gulping down the water as soon as he’d handed it over. “What the fuck?” you rasped out once you were back in control of your voice. “I didn’t think you were going to choke. Just thought it’d surprise you. You alright?” “Yeah, fine. But what the fuck?” You grabbed the remote to mute the TV, a signal that you wanted Ben to take this conversation seriously. “It was just a suggestion,” he said with a half shrug, “You said you’d be interested in doing it.” “I am, I just.... They’re your friends Ben, wouldn’t it be kinda weird?” He shrugged again, “Maybe at first. But you said you’d be more comfortable if you knew the people involved. Well, you know them. And I trust them. It’s worth thinking about at least.” You paused, chewing your lip as you took in what he was saying properly, the original shock having passed. It did kind of make sense. “Would… would they be into it?” you said slowly. “I mean, I’d have to talk to them. But, yeah, I think so.” he shrugged slightly. “And you’d be okay with it?” “Yes,” he answered matter-of-factly. “Really? Ben it’s one thing to think about it while you get off or talk about in the abstract. It’s a whole other thing to actually watch your girlfriend having sex with other people, especially your friends.” you shifted in your seat, moving to kneel beside him and reaching out to stroke his cheek, “I don’t want you to do something you’re not fully comfortable with just to try and make me happy. It was my fantasy to begin with and I am totally okay with leaving it like that. Really think about this before you say anything else.” He reached up, taking your hand in his and tracing lines over the back of your fingers, “But I have thought about it. A lot. Kind of non-stop actually. And I want to do it, if you do.” “Really?” “Yes. Look, it’s not like there’s gonna be feelings involved. This isn’t making love on a bed of roses type stuff. I’m not gonna be watching you have a romantic night with anyone. I’m gonna watch you being treated like a living sex toy by multiple people. Probably join in a bit too. And you’re not the only one who can set boundaries. If there’s anything I don’t feel comfortable seeing happen I’ll let everyone know.” You opened your mouth to speak but Ben cut you off. “If you ask me ‘really?’ one more time,” he laughed, pulling you off your knees and onto his lap, “Y/N, I promise you I am more than okay with this. It might have been your fantasy but it was my suggestion to actually do it. If it was strangers involved it’d be different. But the guys? None of them are going to hurt you, they’ll all respect whatever rules we put in place, and they’ll make sure it’s fun.” Your eyes roamed over Ben’s face, looking for any sign of discomfort or unease but all you saw was a plea for trust. “Okay. Talk to them, see how they all feel about it. But if anyone isn’t into it, the dinner stays as just a dinner. Deal?” “Deal.” He rested his forehead against yours, “I love you.” You hummed, kissing him softly. “Love you too, Benny.”

Over the next week Ben talked to everyone individually, gauging their interest in the dinner party and any extra activities that may involve. Some were a little more hesitant than others but by the end of the week everyone was a hard yes. It made your stomach tighten every time you thought about it, anticipation and excitement and nerves building as you counted down the days. You and Ben worked out the rules, where lines would be drawn and where boundaries would lie to ensure the night was safe and fun for everyone involved. You collected supplies, discussed and re-discussed how everything would work as well as planning the actual dinner party aspect – food and drink and music. As the night got closer you found yourself more and more aroused, constantly wet, unable to think about anything else for too long. Ben for his part seemed just as affected by it as you were and you found yourselves naked together much more frequently than you’d expected to. Not once was it rough though. It was like the two of you were saving all your energy for the dinner party, spending the hours in bed having lazy, gentle sex, soft kisses and gasped names and whispered ‘I love you’s. By the time the actual night rolled around you were burning for something harder and faster, looking forward to being used and bruised.

Half an hour before everyone turned up you started to get ready. You’d been wearing your plug all day, at Ben’s suggestion, but it still made you shiver when you caught a glimpse of it as you were getting dressed, the sparkly jewel catching the light as you checked your reflection. The lingerie you’d picked out left very little to the imagination, a crotchless thong and matching sheer bra, the garter belt and stockings the most modest part of the outfit. You fixed your makeup, adding extra mascara and reapplying your lipstick knowing it would just end up smudged.

“They’ll be here in ten babe, you ready?” Ben asked as he knocked on the bedroom door. You took a deep breath, looking over yourself one last time before you left the room. The soft ‘wow’ Ben gave you made you giggle as he led you through your unit to the mixed living/dining room. You’d rearranged the furniture earlier, shifting the coffee table over to the wall which left space for you to kneel in front of anyone on the couch. The dinner table was already laid out for everyone, except you of course, a tray of champagne glasses waiting to be offered around. You headed towards the coffee table, running your hand along it as you checked all the toys were there. Some of them were things you’d used before, some were newly bought specifically for tonight. Each had been carefully considered between you and Ben, only those you were both completely comfortable with being put out.

“Okay, let’s do this,” you said as you headed to your position in the middle of the room. Ben grabbed the spreader bar off the coffee table, attaching the cuffs to your ankles, forcing you to stand with legs wide open. The butterflies in your stomach went wild, everything suddenly feeling more real. “You all good?” Ben asked as he stood back up. “I’m wonderful. You?” “Brilliant.” He flashed you a reassuring smile and pecked you on the lips before turning to pick up the ball gag and press it into your mouth. Your lips stretched around it as he adjusted the fastening at the back of your head. You nodded to show you were comfortable and he turned once more, reaching for the black bandana that was going to be your blindfold for the night. You wanted to touch yourself, relieve some of the pressure that had been building all day but Ben grabbed your hands, pulling them in front of you, palms up. You heard him walk away and then come back with the tray of drinks, placing it carefully on your upturned hands. “Okay, all set. I’m gonna go check the dinner but everyone should start arriving soon. See you afterwards.” You hummed your agreement as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear and pressed a kiss to your forehead. His touch left you but he was still close by. You felt him lean into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine as he growled a final warning in the voice he reserved for dominating you. “Don’t drop the drinks, slut.”

You were left in almost silence. Your unit wasn’t huge but the kitchen was far enough away that the noise was muffled. Or maybe you were just so aware of how much being left alone in such a vulnerable position turned you on, that outside noise just wasn’t getting through as easily. It was just you and your pounding heart and your steadily growing arousal. Nothing to do but wait and hope your arms didn’t give out under the tray of glasses. You had no idea how long it had been. You’d had about ten minutes when you’d started being set up, surely that time would have passed by now. Saliva was beginning to dribble under the gag and over your lips, trickling slowly down your chin to drip onto your chest. You heard Ben come back into the room, heading towards the speakers he’d set up and beginning to play the mix he’d created, music turned down low so it filled the background without distracting. Still you waited, trying to focus on keeping the tray of drinks balanced. Then suddenly, the buzzer, shocking you slightly and making your heart race. Ben answered, giving whoever it was access to the building and moments later you heard talking at the door, listening intently for who had arrived. “Ben!” “Lucy, looking lovely as always.” A pause, “Rami, great to see you buddy. Head on in, grab a drink and have a look. No touching yet though, we’ve got some rules to go through once everyone’s here.” You heard footsteps, a pair of heels clicking over the floor and the duller noise of someone in flat shoes, getting closer. A girly giggle as two drinks were removed from your tray. You prayed it wasn’t going to change the balance and tip everything over. They were both quiet for a moment. You could feel their eyes on you, looking you up and down. “You know I half thought Ben was joking,” Rami said quietly making Lucy laugh. “Glad he wasn’t.” She said and you heard her heels again as she began walking around you slowly, taking in every inch of your helpless form, “She’s very pretty. Always thought Ben lucked out with her.” “Alright, Luce, keep it in your pants,” “Can’t help it. You know I can’t resist a helpless, restrained toy. And you have to admit she looks like she’ll be fun.” “She definitely does. Almost can’t believe it’s Y/N. She always seemed so sweet and not one for this sort of thing.” “Are you kidding? I knew she’d be into some kinky stuff the first time Ben introduced her to us.” “What? No way,” “Well okay, maybe not the instant I met her. You remember when we were at the restaurant with them, I went to the bathroom with her so I could chat to her, woman to woman, and I caught a glimpse of her wrist. There was a very clear mark that she was trying to hide, looked like it came from too tight handcuffs.” You felt your cheeks grow warm at the memory. God, if you’d known then that Lucy had worked out what you and Ben had got up to that morning, you would have died from embarrassment. But now all it did was turn you on more, heat pooling in your stomach. “God, see that?” Lucy suddenly exclaimed “See what?” “Right there, on the inside of her thigh,” “Oh my god, you’re right, she’s dripping.” The warmth of the oven spread through every room but you couldn’t suppress a shiver running down your spine as they both laughed, continuing to talk about you as if you weren’t there. You heard Ben walk back through the room as the buzzer rang a second time. The door opened and you said a silent thank you that Joe and Gwilym had arrived together, your arms already sore from holding them still for so long. Ben greeted them and told them the same thing he’d told Rami and Lucy – grab a drink, have a look, don’t touch. You were briefly forgotten as the two newcomers entered the room, everyone more focused on greeting each other until Joe asked where they’d got their champagne from. “She’s got them.” “Woah,” “Right?” “Is that really Y/N?” “Go on, have a closer look. She’s absolutely loving this.” “What d’you mean?” “She’s wearing crotchless panties and you can see she’s completely soaked.” “My god,” Your tray lightened again as another two drinks were removed from it. “Where’d Ben go?” “He said something about giving us a chance to have a look around. I assume he meant her.” “Hope he comes back soon, I’m itching to touch her.” “Jeez Luce, didn’t realise you’d be so into it.” “Well excuse me for getting into the spirit of it all.”

They kept talking, the conversation a mix of catching up and comments about you. When Ben came back, his footsteps audible beneath the chatter, he was met by dozens of questions though he wouldn’t answer anything about you straight away. Eventually he took the last glass, leaving you to hold the empty tray despite the ache in your arms, and tapped it with his fingernail to get everyone’s attention. “Sorry, don’t want to interrupt for too long” he said as everyone quieted down, “I just need your attention for a moment. There’s a few rules we need to cover before the fun can really start." He paused and you felt the energy of the room change, an electric current running through everyone as they focused on you and Ben. “Firstly, just to be clear, this has all been set up with Y/N’s consent. Everyone has agreed to participate but of course you aren’t obligated to, and if anything that happens makes you uncomfortable, please talk to me about it.” There was a brief murmur while Ben paused but once he started speaking again it stopped. “Y/N and I can stop the scene at any time. Our safe word is red but obviously it may not be possible for Y/N to speak throughout the night so she also has a safe signal, three slaps against something. It could be the floor or a wall or her own thigh or whatever, but three slaps or the word red means everything stops instantly. There shouldn’t be any need for us to use them though, if everyone follows the rules, which are, one: you can touch or fuck Y/N just about however you want, as long as there is no anal play. You may have noticed she’s wearing a plug tonight but her arse is off limits to anyone who isn’t me.” You whimpered softly behind the gag but Ben ignored you. “Two: For the boys specifically I guess, you are not allowed to finish in her cunt, but down her throat or over any other part of her is fine. Three: We expect some bruises and marks, especially if you choose to use some of the toys provided,” he gestured towards the coffee table, “but please nothing that will leave permanent scars, no burns or blood. Four: Degrading names are fine but stick with things like slut and whore and bitch, nothing too personal. And finally, on a slightly different though no less serious note, five: no forehead kisses or anything that has a romantic connotation. That one is less for her sake than mine. Everyone understand?” There was a chorus of yes’s in response before Ben spoke again. “Good. We trust you, it’s why we were comfortable setting this up and inviting all of you, but my main concern is keeping this fun and safe for everyone, especially for Y/N.” If it weren’t for the restraints and the desire to be good that had practically taken over your brain, you could have melted at the way he said your name. It carried the same weight as the words good girl or the ‘my’ in my slut. But before you had a chance to really appreciate it he’d moved on. “I promise, this is the last thing I’m gonna say. Tonight this is not the Y/N you all know. This is a toy who happens to look like her. She is an object, a breathing blow up doll, here for your entertainment, for you to talk about or talk to or to use however entertains you most. Her pleasure is not the priority. Now have fun.”

Everyone was still for a moment, not quite knowing how to start but then Lucy was coming towards you, the clacking of her heels almost ominous. “Can we get rid of the tray now? Maybe the blindfold too?” She asked. The general chatter started up again behind her but you focused on Lucy’s voice. “Sure thing,” Ben sounded more amused than anything, “You wanna leave her arms out or put them behind her back?” Ben took the tray and you let your arms drop, heavy with the strain of holding them up, a slight ache already in your shoulders. “Restrained I think” “Oi, Gwil, chuck us those handcuffs will you?” He called across the room before he turned back to Lucy, “I’ll give you the keys, Luce, let you decide how long she stays like that.” “Ben, you’ve just made my day,” They were both laughing as you felt your blindfold being tugged off and you blinked as your eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness. “Much better,” Lucy teased, standing right in front of you, her voice low and pouty, “now we can see those pretty eyes.” A familiar hand gripped your wrist, pulling it behind your back, followed quickly by the other one as Gwilym joined Ben behind you and handed over the cuffs, the fluffy black cover in place to make it easier on your wrists. Lucy dragged her hand down the side of your face, distracting you from the two boys behind you. “Look at you, all dolled up for us. Don’t quite know where to start.” Her hand trailed lower, sliding along your jaw and down onto your neck. Your heart raced as the handcuffs clicked into place and Lucy opened her hand as if to choke you. Instead she lightly ran her thumb and fingers down the column of your throat, laying her hand flat once she reached your sternum. You jolted as Gwilym’s hands landed on your arse, grabbing you firmly and almost sending you toppling forward. Lucy continued to trail her hands down your body, squeezing your breasts and teasing your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra. You wanted to beg for more, for them to stop teasing you, but the gag prevented you. All you managed to do was let more saliva drip onto your chest. “She’s got a nice arse, can see why you want to keep it to yourself,” Ben laughed, “Can’t expect me to share everything mate.” “Nice tits too,” Lucy said before she reared a hand back and brought it forward to slap one of them. You whined behind the gag, and Lucy’s face lit up. “Let’s hear that again.” Her hand rose up into the air as Ben grabbed your arms, holding you still as she brought it down on your other breast. You whined again, partly because of the slap and partly because of the way Gwilym’s fingers were sliding along your cunt. Every noise you made only served to cover you in more of your own spit. “You were right about how wet she is Lucy.” “Why don’t you bend her over and fuck her,” Ben said as he let go of your arms, “that’s what she’s here for and I can promise her cunt is just as good as her arse.” He gave you a final tap on the hip as he walked off, winking at you from over Lucy’s shoulder before joining Joe and Rami in their conversation.

The next thing you felt was Gwilym’s hand on your back pushing you to bend at the waist as he grabbed your bound arms where Ben had just let go. You looked up at Lucy as best you could, eyes wide at the sound of Gwilym’s zip being pulled down and the shuffle of his clothing. This was it. This was what you’d been secretly dreaming about for years, or close enough anyway. Lucy bent down slightly, bringing her face to your level as your hip was grasped hard by the man behind you. “She’s gagging for it Gwil, drooling everywhere.” That was the only encouragement Gwilym needed before he was sliding into you through the opening in your underwear, not giving you any time to adjust before he was fucking you hard and fast. The plug in your arse increased the fullness and tightness you felt and you squeezed your eyes shut as his hips snapped against you repeatedly. When you opened them Lucy was gone. Disappointment washed over you, compounded by the fact that Gwil was doing nothing to intentionally push you into an orgasm. His thrusts were forceful and made you whine around the gag but he wasn’t angled the right way to hit your g-spot and he refused to touch your clit. “Slow down for a minute would you Gwil, wanna get that gag off her.” Lucy was back, pulling Rami along by the hand. Gwilym adjusted his pace, slowing enough for Lucy to remove the ballgag from your mouth, a long string of spit dripping from your lips as it was thrown to the side. You gasped out, “thank you,” as Lucy ran her thumb over your chin, pushing the drool back up to your mouth. “Liked it better when you couldn’t talk. Rami, sweetie, why don’t you put her mouth to good use.” You whimpered as Rami released his cock and Lucy wrapped her hand around it, pumping a few times before she threaded her fingers through your hair to hold your head still. “Good girl, keep that mouth open nice and wide for us,” she cooed as Rami eased himself inside. He must have given Gwil some kind of signal that you’d missed, too focused on Lucy’s voice, because both of them began thrusting into you at the same time. This time Gwilym started slower, matching Rami’s pace as he worked himself down your throat, gradually speeding up again. Every noise you made in reaction to how Gwilym was fucking you was lost in a wet gag as your throat was used. Complete contrast to the slapping noises of Gwil’s hips against you and the grunts from both men. You knew they were both going to cum and that, at the rate you were going, you wouldn’t be just yet, and that only made you more desperate to touch yourself. It was very very rarely you’d been able to get off from penetration alone and though you tonight could potentially prove to be another of those times, it certainly wasn’t going to happen this quickly. Lucy must have sensed your need because she began to trail her fingertips down your back as she walked away from your head, eventually bringing her hand to your clit. You moaned as you finally felt some kind of relief, the sound muffled by the cock jammed down your throat. “So needy,” Lucy commented to no one in particular, laughing as she removed her fingers and heard you whine. And then she was back in front of you, sucking on the fingers she’d touched you with as she watched more saliva drip off your chin. “Oh, f-fuck,” you heard Gwilym grunt, his cock twitching as he slowed his hips and pulled out of you. You barely had time to register the sudden emptiness and increased desire before you felt him covering your lower back with his cum. He tapped your arse in appreciation and walked away. Lucy leaned in to whisper something in Rami’s ear and with another two thrust he was cumming too, making you swallow every drop before he fell from your lips and tucked himself away. “Think I need a stiff drink after that,” he said as he headed off to find something, leaving you alone with Lucy. You let out a breath as you stood up again, the ache between your legs stronger after Lucy’s much too brief touch. “Think I could use a top up too actually,” Lucy said as she looked around, “I’ll be back in a minute and then we’ll find another use for your mouth. You whimpered as Lucy walked away as well leaving you alone, unable to move properly, dripping and needy, back itchy where Gwilym’s cum had landed. You could see Lucy talking to Ben as he topped up her glass of champagne, Rami and Gwilym standing with them. Turning your head, you found Joe, standing at the table where you’d laid out the toys that you and Ben were open to people using on you. He picked up the leather paddle Ben liked to use when you needed a punishment, tapping it against his palm a few times. Your instinct was to squeeze your thighs together but the spreader bar prevented you. Instead you watched, holding your breath, as Lucy joined Joe. You could see them talking and laughing, Joe still tapping the paddle against his hand absentmindedly. And then they were both walking in your direction, still talking, Joe still holding that damn paddle. You swallowed hard.

As soon as Lucy was in front of you, she wrapped her hand around your throat again, squeezing slightly as she took a sip of her drink. “I checked with Ben, he said this was okay,” She brought her lips to yours. Your first thought was that they were softer than Ben’s. Your second was that she tasted like champagne and strawberry lip gloss. Your third was how much it hurt when she bit your lip and pulled it. “Had to know,” she shrugged, looking at Joe. “Hey, no complaints here,” “D’you want to uncuff her, or should I?” “I’ll do it, you keep making out,” Lucy giggled as she handed over the keys. “Uncuffing me?” you croaked; voice rough from a mixture of not talking and how your throat had been used. “Only because I want your fingers. Gonna use them and that pretty mouth to get me off.” You whimpered and heard a chuckle from behind you as your wrists were finally released. “She hasn’t even heard what I’m gonna do to her yet,” “I was gonna let that be a surprise Joe,” You rolled your shoulders, stretching the stiffness from them, and confessed that you’d already seen the paddle. Lucy tutted as she undid the clasp of your bra, dropping it to the floor as she turned towards the couch and fell into it gracefully, “Might have to blindfold you again after this. Can’t have you ruining any more of our surprises.” She crooked her finger at you and you awkwardly followed her, the spreader bar inhibiting your movement so that each small step drew everyone’s eye. When you were close enough to grab onto the couch for support you eased yourself to your knees and shuffled as close as you could get. Lucy raised her dress slightly, hooking her leg over your shoulder. You could feel the heel of her shoe resting on your back as you were drawn towards her still clothed pussy, a large wet patch proof of how much fun she’d had so far. You hooked your finger into her underwear, pulling it to the side, just as Joe began to speak to the room at large. Lucy’s hand in your hair kept you focused on her, kitten licking along her lips, as Joe began to take bets on how many spanks you could handle before you begged to stop. You weren't sure who said which number, everyone’s voices bleeding into each other as they argued and defended their bets. The lowest you heard was a pitiful five, the highest you were sure came from Ben who put his money on twenty. After all, he knew he’d reached that with you before. You tried to keep your tongue on Lucy as the talk died down again and the nerves rose in your chest, everyone waiting for the first strike. The was a pause, almost silent, and then the paddle came down against your arse, splitting the air with a sharp slap followed by a chorus of voices counting the first strike. You let out a small hiss as you relaxed back into Lucy, drawing a gasp from her as you circled your tongue around her clit. You were a little more prepared for the second spank now that you had an idea of how Joe moved, how forceful his first one had been. It only made you jolt forward, your hitched breath covered by everyone calling out two! The spanks with the paddle came faster and harder as they progressed, making you gasp into Lucy’s cunt as you continued to lick along her folds, gradually adding your fingers one at a time. By the time they’d reached ten spanks you were fighting back tears, three fingers pumping in and out of Lucy, trying to distract yourself from the sting in your arse by listening to the moans and sighs falling from her lips every time you curled your fingers and lapped at her wetness. You could tell she was getting close, rhythmically clenching round your fingers, her heel digging into your back as you took yet another hit. You sucked Lucy’s clit into your mouth as you pressed your fingers in deep, curling them and making her moan. It didn’t take much more than that to have her cumming, though the way you whined as Joe spanked you again probably helped push her over the edge. You let her ride the orgasm out on your fingers, licking up her release until she pushed you away and let her leg drop from your shoulder. As soon as you were free you felt another spank, this one hard enough to push a sob from your throat and tears from your eyes. Everyone yelled out the number thirteen and you braced yourself for another.

You finally broke, crying out to stop at number twenty-two. Mascara stung your eyes and left black lines down your cheeks in the wake of tears you couldn’t stop. As chatter filled the room once more, discussing your performance and claiming Ben shouldn’t win any money since he clearly knew how long you’d last, you heard footsteps approach. Ben’s hand was warm against the back of your head and for a moment you let yourself drop out of the scene, leaning your forehead against his leg and breathing deep to control your tears. “Hey, that wasn’t too much was it?” Joe asked, eyes flicking between you and Ben. “No, not at all. Y/N knew how much she could take and you stopped when she said so.” “Okay, good. Just wanted to check. You seemed a little tense towards the end there.” “Mate, you’re fine. Just not the easiest thing to watch my girlfriend in that position when I’m not the one controlling how hard or how often she gets hit.” “Yeah, Joe, that was great,” you said, looking up at him through watery eyes, “Broke my record.” “And won me fifty quid,” “Good luck getting everyone to pay up,” he chuckled. For the briefest of moments, it felt like the three of you were just hanging out, joking around over a beer down the pub, until Ben leaned down to ask if you were alright to continue. “Yeah, I am,” you nodded, sitting back on your heels and hissing slightly as they came into contact with your red, stinging arse. Even the pain wasn’t enough to dull the ache between your legs. “Then why don’t you be a good whore and give Joe a proper thank you,” he turned to leave, stopping long enough to tell Joe not to be afraid to be rough. “Well come on, thank me. Haven’t got all night,” Joe towered over you as you hurried to unzip his pants, setting his cock free as you slid them down over his hips. You wrapped your hand around him, thankful to be able to use your hands, as you leaned in to drag your tongue over his tip, collecting the precum that had already begun to accumulate. Clearly he’d enjoyed spanking you. From the way he bucked his hips as you took him between your lips, running your tongue along the underside of his cock, you’d say he enjoyed it quite a lot. He let you set your own pace, bobbing your head as you took him deeper before pulling off him entirely, pumping your hand over his length. Your own need was too much to ignore and you trailed your free hand over your thigh, desperate for some sort of relief. You didn’t get very far though before Joe noticed. “Didn’t say you could do that,” he says as he knocks your hand away with his foot. “Please, Joe, need to cum so bad,” “Things like you don’t need anything. You just want it. Maybe you can convince me though.” He pushed on the back of your head and you took the hint, taking him back into your mouth. He left his hand resting lightly on your head but you could feel the weight of it, aware of how easy it would be for him to hold you down and make you choke. It did nothing to alleviate your desire. “That’s better,” he grunted as you hollowed your cheeks. You picked up the pace, the mere possibility of an orgasm spurring you on. He let out a string of muttered curses as you let him sink deeper, reaching up with your free hand to squeeze his balls lightly. You looked up at him when he grabbed a fistful of your hair, eyes meeting as he snapped his hips towards you, making you gag. When he brought his other hand to your hair you knew you weren’t in control anymore. All you could do was brace your hands on his thighs and try to relax your throat as he thrust into you again and again, heedless of your comfort, your breath, your choked moans. You knew he was getting close by the way he sped up, grunting as he held you down. And then he was out of your throat, covering your chest with his cum while you desperately sucked air into your lungs. You were still gasping when he pulled you back to your feet. He lazily trailed his fingers down your stomach, stopping right before he reached where you wanted him most. “Joe, please,” “No. Didn’t convince me. But maybe someone else will take pity on you.” He withdrew his hand, walking away.

Once again you were going to take matters into your own hands when you were stopped, this time by Ben who was clearly keeping a close eye on you. “Uh uh uh, that’s not allowed.” he said as he grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away from your dripping cunt, “if you don’t play along properly we’ll have to stop the game, and then you definitely won’t get to cum.” You whined as he pulled the black bandana from his pocket and tied it round your eyes again. “Didn’t expect you to lose this so quickly, let’s see how long it lasts before Lucy takes it off again.” You nodded, vision removed once more. “Now, are you going to be good or should I tie your hands up again?” “I’ll be good.” “Good. Can’t have you misbehaving in front of everyone.” He gave your arse a swat, making you whimper, as he walked off, leaving you alone and unable to see. It didn’t last long, the being alone part at least. One of the guys, you couldn’t tell who, trailed his fingertips over your collarbone, raising goose bumps and making your breath quicken. He remained quiet, giving you no hint to his identity, as he moved up your neck, fingers coming to rest where it met your jaw. He tilted your head to the side as he leaned in to attach his lips to your skin. You could feel your pulse beating hard under his tongue, a moan dropping from your lips as he kissed his way down your throat. He sunk his teeth into your shoulder before he left chuckling at the way you’d cried out. About a minute passed and then another set of hands were on you, rougher than the last. He, whoever he was, grabbed your wrist pulling your hand out so he could spit into your palm before wrapping your fingers around his cock.

This was exactly how your fantasies normally went – just you and a series of anonymous people using your body however they wanted, rutting into your hand, squeezing your throat as they pinched and pulled your tits, bending you over so they could shove their cock into your mouth or examine the bruises forming on your arse. You could hear snatches of conversations as you were pulled around by numerous hands, never quite sure who was touching you at any given time. On your left you could hear Joe telling someone about the road trip he went on with some friends last month. The juxtaposition of such a casual conversation while you were being fingered to within an inch of your life made your head spin. It was the third time you’d heard the story during the night. Right before he got to the part about almost being left in a truckstop bathroom you heard the familiar click of Lucy’s heels. She was the only one you were certain of when she came close. Well, her and Ben – you had no trouble picking his footsteps or scent from everyone else’s. Perhaps you could have worked out the others except that thinking was becoming harder to do. Your body was covered in splatters of cum at various stages of drying, making you itch, your arse smarted, and you felt like if you didn’t cum soon you were going to combust. You’d been close more times than you could count but never quite got there before those who were fucking you pulled out and left you with their cum straining your underwear or dripping from your lips. You moaned as the fingers still pumping into you sped up. “C’mon Gwil, be nice and let her cum, she looks desperate,” So that was who was tormenting you at the moment, Gwilym was the reason you’d been saying nothing but the word please for the last three minutes. “Think you mean pathetic,” he made no move to alter his pattern “Well if you wont, I will,” her fingers drifted down towards your clit, circling you slowly as Gwilym continued finger fucking you. It only took a few seconds for her to have you moaning out your release, coating both their hands in your juices as you rode the orgasm for as long as they let you. “Thank you,” you said breathlessly as both of them removed their hands from you. Gwilym tapped his fingers against your lips until you let him push them into your mouth. Leaning into your ear he softly said, “I’m going to fuck you again before the night’s done. Properly.” You heard him retreat but then Lucy was grabbing your hand, placing it between her own legs. “Fair’s fair.” She was wet, her cunt welcoming you with a squeeze as you let two fingers slide into her. You began to build a steady pace, searching for that spot that would make her knees buckle. She threw her arms over your shoulders for support as you added a third finger, her nails digging into you as you let your thumb land on her clit. Her moans were muffled by your neck as you pushed her closer to her release, curling your fingers and stroking until she came on shaking legs. “I’m going to have to ask Ben if I can borrow you for a night. Chain you to my bed and play with every inch of you until I can’t cum anymore.” You lost track of how long you’d stood there, being repositioned over and over. Sometimes you had less than a second before one cock was replaced by another, sometimes you were left alone for what felt like hours, listening for any hint of someone approaching but only hearing the conversations happening around you.

When Ben announced that dinner was ready everyone moved toward the table, replacing chairs they’d moved around during the night, a couple of people giving you a last squeeze or slap as they passed. Ben knelt down to release your feet and you almost collapsed against him as he led you towards your designated seat. It was one of the chairs taken from the table everyone sat at, pulled off to the side so you were still within view without being the center of attention. He pulled your arms behind the chair, securing you in place with the handcuffs so you couldn’t move. You could smell the roast Ben had spent the afternoon preparing, along with all the accompanying sides that you’d helped him make. “Is Y/N not eating with us then?” Lucy asked. “Toys don’t need to eat,” “She’s probably full anyway,” Joe said matter-of-factly, “y’know, from how much she’s swallowed tonight.” There were snorts of laughter amongst the tinkling sounds of cutlery and glasses, followed by the melodic buzz of talking, sometimes discussions that involved the whole table, sometimes just kept between two or three people. Occasionally you heard your name mentioned making you jump and focus on the conversation. More often than not it was Ben mentioning you in passing as he talked about the day trip you’d taken to the beach last week or something else equally mundane. But the few less innocent comments you heard made you squirm. Hearing Rami describe how incredible your tits were was enough to have you whimpering, and hearing Gwil talk about how hot you sounded when you came had you clenching your thighs together in your chair. “Fuck, look at her now,” Joe said, accompanied by the sound of someone shifting their chair for a better look, followed by a louder, “you alright?” directed towards you. You whined, knowing you sounded completely desperate but beyond caring, as you tried to get some sort of relief. “Needy whore,” “Wants to be fucked some more,” said with an accompanying laugh. “Someone should do it. Dinner and a show.” “Nah, let her squirm a bit longer,” “If you boys are quite done, I think I have an idea,” “She’s all yours,” You whimpered as Lucy pushed her chair back, listening as the sound of her shoes went past you and then returned a few seconds later. You got a whiff of her perfume, floral and sweet, as she leaned down, hands resting on your thighs. You could feel something pressed between her palm and your leg but couldn’t work out what it was, not with her talking to you so softly, her breath tickling your ear and sending a shiver through you. “You wanna cum again, don’t you? Poor thing.” All you could do was nod, whimpering out a soft, “please.” You were already trembling as she knelt between your legs, caressing your thighs softly before she hooked her fingers into the band of your thong and slid it off you. She lifted one of your legs onto her shoulder so she could push the unknown object into you before she let your leg drop back down and stood up again. You were panting, unsure why she’d teased you so, as she took her seat again. “What’d you do, Luce? Nothing happened,” Rami barely finished speaking when you felt the egg vibrator come to life and a small oh slipped out of your mouth. The vibration increased sending you hurtling towards the orgasm you so badly wanted. You clenched your legs together as you moaned through your release, Lucy reducing the power of the vibrator as you came down. You had maybe five seconds to compose yourself before it was being turned back up again, pulling a string of moaned expletives from you as you fell into another orgasm much more quickly than you ever had before. “There’s your show,” Lucy laughed over your whines as your sensitivity grew. “Pass me the controller for a minute,” Joe said, “how do you use it?” “Just spin that wheel, up makes it vibrate more,” “Like this?” You jerked in your chair as it got stronger, whimpering when he turned it down again. “Oh, easy. Think I’m a little scared of you now Luce.” There was laughter as you tipped over the edge again.

They didn’t let up until they’d had their fill, finishing their dinner to the sound of your heavy panting and moaned requests to stop as you unsuccessfully tried to squirm away from the constant vibrations. The controller was passed from person to person, each one changing the settings according to their own whim. For a while you were left with a low-level buzzing as the controls sat by Gwil’s plate, untouched, giving you as much respite as you could hope for under the circumstances. But then it was back in the hands of Joe who delighted in making you scream as he turned it up high. By the time everyone had eaten their last bite and complimented the meal, the controls were in Ben’s hands. If you’d hoped for leniency, for a kind word of praise as he set you free, you’d hoped wrong. Ben did halt the vibrator, turning it off as he walked towards you and removed your blindfold again, but he also twisted his hand through your hair so he could tug your head up, forcing you to look at the table. Four pairs of eyes were fixed on you as Ben spun the controls to the highest possible setting, watching as your hips bucked and your back arched as much as your bound position would allow you. You couldn’t even scream as you came again, your voice catching in your throat as all the air was pushed from your lungs at once. When he was satisfied with your performance, Ben turned it off and reached between your legs to pull the egg from you, pocketing it as he began collecting dirty dishes with the help of an insistent Lucy, leaving you twitching in the chair. You closed your eyes for a second in an attempt to settle your pounding heart, opening them to find Rami standing in front of you. “I know you lost count of how many orgasms you just had,” he said softly as he kneeled between your legs, “but I’m going to take another one from you.” He pushed your legs wider, probing at your entrance with two fingers as he rubbed your clit with his other hand. You didn’t think you could cum again but his unhurried movements built you up despite how sensitive you felt. He watched your every reaction as he changed the angle of his fingers until he found your gspot. You shook as you tipped over the edge again, unable to resist his steady strokes. “Good girl, knew you had another one for me.” he said as he wiped his hands on his pants.

“What do you think Rami?” Joe asked as he and Gwilym approached. “What do I think about what?” “Best way to play with a girl’s nipples,” “Oh, I guess, like this,” Rami reached out with one hand, pinching your nipple and rolling it between his fingers before tugging it away from your body, making you loudly whine. “Is that really your favourite way?” “It’s a classic. Simple. Easy to control. You can add a twist,” he twisted your nipple until you tried to jerk away, “for a little extra pain if she’s into that.” Joe scoffed, “You cannot beat sucking on a nipple. It’s clearly the best way,” he lowered his head to your chest, his breath fanning out over your sensitive nipple as he moved closer. He took it into his mouth, tracing his tongue around it and sucking gently. Your eyes fluttered closed, releasing a soft moan at how good it felt until he suddenly clamped his teeth down, making you wince. “See? Nothing beats a little bit of tongue and teeth. Well okay Gwil, since you clearly disagree, you wanna demonstrate for the class?” “I don’t necessarily disagree. It just depends on what you want to achieve.” Joe raised his eyebrows and waved his hand, inviting Gwilym to go on. “Well if you want her to moan then yeah, either of your methods is great. But if you’re looking for something a little more painful, maybe more of a punishment, you can’t beat the flick.” Without any warning he dropped his hand towards your other nipple, flicking it quickly, making you jolt. “It’s especially good if you surprise them with it after you’ve been fairly gentle. And the more you do it, the more it hurts.” “Show me again?” Gwilym repeated his flicking motion on both your nipples at once, and then again, each one sending a shock of pain through your chest. You whimpered as his fingers were replaced by Rami’s on one nipple and Joe’s on the others, both testing the flick for themselves. “Okay, that’s pretty good.” “I’ll expect your cheques in the mail soon,” “Wonder what Ben thinks,” Joe said, heading off to find out, followed by Rami. Gwilym stayed behind. “What say we get you out of those cuffs now?” Gwil said as he picked up the keys from where Ben had left them near you. You nodded, expecting there to be a catch, but he leant down behind you and unlocked your restraints without another word. You brought your arms to your front, rolling your wrists, but didn’t have time for anything else before he was dragging you from the chair to the table and pushing you down over it. “Told you I was gonna fuck you again.” Your nails scratched over the smooth surface of the table, looking for something to cling on to as he bottomed out. The best you could manage was to grasp the side of the table, knuckles turning white and plea for him not to stop, as he fucked you. You clenched around him, reaching your peak and falling into an underwhelming orgasm right as he pulled out of you. Before you could stand up again he was pulling you backwards and pushing you to your knees. “Mouth,” he grunted and you had a few seconds to register the way Gwilym was pumping his fist over his cock before he was coating your lips and chin. You had just enough time to swallow what you could lick up before Rami pushed his cock between your lips. It took you by surprise, not having realised the others had returned but you tried to stay relaxed as he thrust into your mouth a couple of times before Joe replaced him. Your hands flew up to grasp their shafts as you alternated between them, sucking one as you jerked the other. Suddenly your hair was being tugged on as Lucy spun your head towards her. She used her free hand to remove her underwear and you obediently leaned in to suck her clit, still jerking Joe and Rami. Lucy pushed you closer to her, your nose nudging her clit as your tongue wandered lower, pulling a few softly spoken expletives from her. You felt like you’d just found the perfect rhythm to please the three of them when you were grabbed under your arms and pulled away. You were dropped on your feet in front of Ben, who sat on the couch. He spun you round and you squealed as he swatted your still sore arse but you bent over for him all the same, trying to relax as he carefully removed the plug he’d wiggled into you that morning. The lube was cold as he squirted a generous amount onto you, using his fingers to make sure you were ready before he pulled you backwards, spreading your cheeks as you slowly sunk down onto him. “Breath,” he said into your ear and you realised you’d been holding your breath, “You good?” “Mmhmm,” you tilted your head back, eyes closed as the stretch settled into a deep fullness. Ben leaned into the back of the couch, almost lying down, and you felt your legs being spread. You barely had time to react to Rami plowing into your cunt, the moan getting caught in your throat as Joe filled your mouth with his cock. Somewhere to your left you could hear Gwilym and Lucy laughing about you being sealed airtight but the joke barely registered in your brain, much too concerned with how incredibly full you were. Joe timed his thrusts to match Rami’s, the force making you rock on Ben’s cock even as he stayed relatively still. Your eyes fluttered shut, stray tears clinging to your eyelashes as you tried not to let the mix of sensations overwhelm you. You felt the couch dip a little as Lucy knelt beside you, grabbing your hand and placing your fingers at her entrance. She rocked against your hand, chasing the release she’d been close to getting from your tongue. Gwil grabbed your other hand, wrapping it around his cock, but you hardly noticed his rutting as Ben suddenly thrust up into you. Your whole body felt hot, a fire spreading through you as you were fucked from every angle, a fuzz settling in your brain as the pleasure took over. You shook as an orgasm rolled through you, Rami pulling out of you and jerking himself off onto your tits. As soon as Rami stepped back Joe took his place, pushing deep into you as Lucy brought your head to her chest. She arched her back into you as you sucked a nipple into your mouth. Joe and Ben were so in sync as they thrust in and out of you, filling you more completely than you’d ever felt before. “Fuck,” Joe grunted as he pulled out of you, cumming over your stomach. You whined as Lucy pushed three fingers into your overly sensitive cunt, your head being pulled away from her breasts so Gwil could fuck your throat. Your own choked moans echoed in your ears as your whole body buzzed and your vision slipped in and out of focus. You felt like you were floating between them, unable to find anything real to cling on to or ground you. You were vaguely aware of Lucy’s rapidly increasing ohs as she rubbed her clit and reached her own release on your hand. She continued to pump her fingers into you, curling them until you were seeing stars. The moan you made around Gwil’s cock had him cursing as he filled your mouth with his cum, watching it drip over your lips as he pulled out. You hastily sucked in a breath of air, it going some way to making you feel less lightheaded, but the breath was quickly pushed from your lungs again as Ben grasped your hips and began to slam you down on his cock repeatedly. It didn’t take him long to reach his own climax, pulling out as he released his load so that it dripped down between your legs.

You still felt floaty and dizzy as Ben picked you up and lay you down on the couch with a pillow under you head. “She’s done guys,” he said to the rest of the group, nodding his head to the table as an invitation to join him. Everyone stayed a little while longer, sitting around and talking over coffee and cake like it was a regular dinner party, like they hadn’t just collectively fucked you into a different realm. You stayed curled up on the couch, dozing on and off as you gradually got the buzzing in your body to stop. Your dazed state stretched on as everyone left, snatches of goodbyes floating to you from the doorway. When you thought back a week later you could distinctly remember hearing Gwilym say he’d love to do that again if you were ever going to repeat the experience. Once the door was shut and the music stopped, Ben knelt down by your head, brushing your hair away from your face. “Y/N?” He said softly. You blinked your eyes open and smiled up at him. “That was fun,” you felt groggy and tired but you laughed as Ben pulled you into a tight bear hug, “You shouldn’t hug me Ben, I’m covered in cum and smudged makeup and lube and whatever else, gonna ruin your clothes.” “Clothes shmothes. As if I’m not gonna hug you after that. You were fucking incredible.” You buried your face in his neck, breathing deeply. “How do you feel?” “Like I need a shower.” “How about a bath?” “Even better.” Ben kissed the top of your head before he let you go, wrapping his arm around your waist as he led you to the bathroom. You picked up a facecloth as Ben ran the bath, using it to clean the mascara tear tracks and smudged lipstick from your cheeks and chin. “Let me help,” Ben said softly, dropping to his knees and unhooking your stockings from the garter belt, sliding both down your legs and throwing them into the laundry hamper. You ruffled his hair in gratitude, the tiredness you felt only getting more pronounced as the seconds slipped by. The tub wasn’t full but you needed to sit down, carefully stepping over the edge and easing yourself into the hot water. Ben quickly shed his own clothes, adding them to the hamper, and climbed in behind you. You stayed sitting just long enough to turn the water off before the tub overflowed, and then leaned back against Ben. “How do you feel?” he asked again as he picked up your soap and washcloth, “now that you’re in a bath I mean.” “Tired and a little sore. And kinda feel like crying but I’m not sure why.” He ran the washcloth along your shoulder and down your arm, beginning to scrub your skin clean. “Well I’ve booked you in for a massage tomorrow afternoon, so that should help with the sore. As for the tired, I am gonna make you stay awake a little longer, but you can relax while I take care of you and you can sleep in tomorrow.” “And the random crying?” “Just your brain rebalancing. It was flooded with a bunch of endorphins and different emotions. Cry as much as you need to, it’s cathartic and it’ll make you feel better.” You nodded, tilting your head back to look at him, “did you have a good time?” “Absolutely. That was so unbelievably hot. Definitely gonna keep me going next time I’m away,” You both laughed softly as he gently pushed you forward so he could wash your back. He pushed your hair out of the way and traced his finger over a mark on your shoulder. “You got a few souvenirs from tonight,” “Is that the bitemark?” “Yeah. Do you know who left it?” “Not really. At the time I thought it might be Rami but I’m not sure. What else have I got?” “Couple red spots where people slapped you. Quite a few scratches.” “Lucy,” you both said at the same time with a chuckle. Ben kept talking to you as he shampooed and conditioned your hair and while he wrapped you in a big fluffy towel. He kissed you on the forehead again and told you to go hop into bed, that he’d be with you in a moment. “And don’t go to sleep yet either. I’ll be quick.” You did as he asked, having just enough energy to slip into one of his tee shirts and a fresh pair of undies before hopping under the covers. You snuggled down deep, closing your eyes as your head landed on the pillow, ignoring Ben’s request to stay awake. But, try as you might, sleep wouldn’t come. Your body was too amped up, still kind of horny despite everything, leaving you simultaneously dead tired and wide awake. Sitting up again you reached for your laptop, figuring you might as well watch some Netflix or something. And then the tears started, virtually out of nowhere. When Ben came back, in fresh pyjamas straight from the clean washing yet to be put away, he found you hunched over, clutching your knees to your chest and crying uncontrollably. He placed the items he was carrying down on his bedside table before he joined you in bed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you leaned into his chest. He rubbed your back and mumbled soft words of praise until you managed to stop. “Sorry,” you said as you wiped at your eyes, “it just hit me,” “Nothing to apologise for babe, I told you to let it out. Do you feel better?” “A bit, yeah,” “Here, brought you something,” he handed you a glass of water and a plate of food, everything from the dinner you’d been unable to eat, put aside especially for you, “wanted to make sure you ate something and drank some water before you slept,” You nodded already biting into a warm potato. “What d’you want to watch?” “Don’t care, as long as I don’t have to think.” He picked an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine at random. You’d both seen it before so it wouldn’t matter if you fell asleep while it played but it was funny enough to keep you entertained as your brain and body relaxed. After you’d finished eating Ben offered you a row from a block of chocolate claiming it’d help your body balance itself and feel more normal. You didn’t know if that was true but you ate it regardless. Finally he was ready to let you settle down. He got up to turn the light off as you packed away the laptop and once again snuggled down under the covers. You hissed slightly as he slid in behind you, coming into contact with your bum. “Shit, I’m sorry babe, should have got a cold compress on that earlier,” “‘s alright. Do it tomorrow, it’ll be fine.” your eyes were much too heavy to be worried about how you’d bruise. Ben agreed, pulling you against his chest carefully. “I love you Y/N, so much,” he said softly as he leaned his head against your neck. You were already asleep.

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy smut #borhap cast smut #borhap cast imagine #rami malek x reader #lucy boynton x reader #joe mazzello x reader #gwilym lee x reader #my writing #(it took a little longer than 10 mins to get up #cause i had some problems with formatting #but its here #its long (maybe too long lmao)#its filthy #god how did i get here?

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icyharrington · 6 years ago

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Caught In The Act (Michael Langdon X Mallory X Reader)

yeah um i didnt proofread this also this is lowkey nasty so dont read this if u dont like smut lmfao. btw this is lowkey the same plot as my last smut fic but it involves mallory this time lol

plot: u and mallory decide to get adventurous. langdon decides to join in.

warnings: cunnilingus, blowjobs, fingering, threesomes, lesbian sex, fem!Reader

word count: 2.3k

“C’mon,” you said, eyes glinting mischievously as you turned over your shoulder to look at your best friend, her hand warm and clammy in yours as you pulled her through the dark hallway.

Okay, maybe “best friend” wasn’t the best term to describe Mallory. In the past few months, your innocent friendship had turned into something more, and now it wasn’t uncommon that you two would sneak off to... “hang out”. The two of you had bonded over hating that stuck-up bitch Coco, and it wasn’t before long that you were inseparable. You both were Grays at the Outpost, and immediately you’d connected with her; her normally monotone voice bubbled over with life when she was around you, and her usually vacant eyes would light up brilliantly. You were glad you had her, or else you’d surely go crazy in that shithole, involuntarily waiting on privileged assholes.

You weren’t sure what your relationship was with her, but you didn’t really care. As long as you got to see her, labels didn’t matter.

The one benefit of being a Gray was the ability to sneak off without anyone noticing for a while- sometimes even several hours. You and Mallory had begun to take advantage of this, and eventually it became a daily occurance that you’d both go somewhere alone and get your rocks off. No one had ever suspected anything, even the strict Ms. Venable who kept an eye on everyone like a hawk, which was definitely a good thing, since sexual conduct wasn’t exactly allowed there. In fact, it had been outright banned. Eventually, though, life at the Outpost had become so dull and monotonous that you had stopped caring about the rules.

So now, here you were, running off to be alone with your sort-of girlfriend, a devious plan circulating in your mind. You were far more adventurous than Mallory, but you were always able to convince her to go along with whatever you came up with. And tonight, you were about to outdo yourself.

“(Y/n), can you at least give me a hint of where we’re going?” Mallory said, and even though she seemed somewhat anxious, you could tell she was excited.

“It’s a surprise,” you sing-songed teasingly. Even you were a little bit nervous for what you had planned, but these days it took a lot to invoke any sense of excitement in you. You had to do risky things to stop yourself from dying of boredom.

“Why can’t we just go to your room?” asked Mallory, her voice hushed so as not to draw any attention to you.

You rolled your eyes. “That’s boring.”

You turned a corner and found yourself at your destination. You grinned slyly as you waited for her to react, squeezing her hand in anticipation. Her eyes widened as she realized where you were, and she turned to you sharply. “Are you insane?”

“This place tends to have that affect on people,” you said, offering a shrug.

“You want to fuck in Langdon’s office?” She said, her voice thick with disbelief. You could tell from the way her lips were turned up just slightly at the corners, though, that the idea excited her.

“Yeah. He’s meeting with Ms. Venabitch right now, so why not?”

Mallory chewed her bottom lip pensively, eyes darting from the door and back to your face. “That’s pretty hot,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, I know,” you said, reaching for the door handle. “So let’s hurry up and do this.”

She followed you reluctantly as you entered the room, dimly lit by a few candles he’d apparently left burning. What a fire hazard, you thought half-sarcastically, but you were pretty sure there were a miriad of other things far worse than a fire to worry about nowadays.

As soon as Mallory shut the door behind her, you shoved her against the door and connected your lips with hers. She let out a soft moan, your teeth gently biting and pulling at her lower lip, and you felt her hands wander up your hips greedily. The kiss was hot and intense as your tongues began to collide, and the prospect of being caught in the act only increased the ache between your legs.

You pulled off her apron, tossing it to the floor haphazardly before reaching around her to unzip the back of her gray dress. You helped her out of it, leaving her just in her shoes and underwear (there really was no point in wearing a bra during an apocalypse). You trailed a few kisses down her neck, pausing at the valley between her breasts before suddenly having an idea.

“I wanna fuck you on his desk,” you said breathlessly, pulling her over to his desk and pushing aside his belongings. You removed your apron as she perched herself on the edge, then returned to her perfect breasts. They weren’t large, but she certainly wasn’t flat-chested, and her pink nipples turned upwards in a way you found adorable. You attached your lips to her right breast, lightly running your tongue over her erect nipple, as she grasped at your back in an attempt to find the zipper to your dress.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” she panted, and you smirked against her chest while snaking your arm between her legs. She wore simple cotton underwear, since nice lingerie wasn’t really an option at the Outpost, but it didn’t matter to you. You rubbed her through the thin fabric, pleased to discover how wet she was, and moved your head to suck her other nipple as you slowly massaged her covered clit.

She managed to unzip your dress, and you paused a moment to step out of it. It probably wasn’t a great idea for the both of you to get fully naked like this on the off chance that Langdon might return, but lust clouded your senses and you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“(Y/n), what if Langdon comes back?” she said worriedly, her voice hitching each time your fingers brushed over her clit.

“Shh,” you said, kneeling down now, your shaking hands reaching to slip off her underwear. You couldn’t deny the nervous butterflies that danced in your stomach, but for you it only made the sex better. You placed your hands on each of her knees and pushed them apart, coating your index finger in her wetness before pushing it inside her. Her body tensed, and she bit the heel of her hand to stop herself from moaning.

She was so cute when you were fucking her, always making soft little whines and grasping at your hair, and her added nervousness only made her actions cuter. She took a fist full of your hair in her hands, pulling you closer to her, and you knew what she wanted.

You bit her inner thigh, not hard enough to leave a mark but hard enough to sting, before moving to the other side and doing the same. She groaned, knowing you were teasing her, and in response you slid your tongue along her outer lips, ending at the clit and swirling your tongue around it. Her grip tightened on your hair and you dragged your tongue down the middle of her vagina, again meeting her swollen clit and sucking it slightly.

You were so wrapped up in pleasing Mallory that you almost missed the sound of the office door swinging open. Mallory jumped, startling you, and you whipped around in a panic to find Langdon standing in the doorway, a frighteningly blank expression across his angular face. He raised his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side, and you wrapped your arms tightly around your chest instinctively.

Your heart and mind racing, you turned to look at Mallory, whose face was stricken with horror.

“Langdon- uh-“ you said frantically, lifting your dress from the floor and holding it in front of your almost-naked body. “Please don’t tell Ms. Venable. We were just trying to be kinky.”

The blond man took a few steps closer, still not speaking as his eyes traveled over your body, which you were currently using to shield Mallory. It was obvious he didn’t know what to make of the situation; who would?

“I always suspected the two of you were fucking, but I never was quite sure,” he said, drumming his fingers on his jaw. “That’s against the rules, you know.”

“I know. I swear it won’t happen again. Please-“

You were the only one speaking between the two of you, as Mallory was too busy panicking butt-naked behind you on the desk. She couldn’t get up and retrieve her dress from where it’d been left by the door, since that would mean exposing her naked body to Langdon. You felt guilty for roping her into your recklessness, but part of you found this entire situation kind of hot.

“I suppose I could let you both out with a warning, but then you wouldn’t learn your lesson,” he said, voice smooth and confident. He was close enough to you now that he could tear your dress from your hands and toss it to the side, which was exactly what he did. You stood there, entirely bare save for your underwear, wide-eyed. But fuck, you were turned on.

“You both are going to do exactly what I want,” he continued. He pushed you to the side in order to get to Mallory, who covered her chest as best as she could. He tilted her head upwards with two fingers, his pale eyes meeting hers, and smirked when he saw the fear in them. Then he kissed her feverishly, a hand lifting up between her breasts to grip her throat.

To your surprise, Mallory did not resist; instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and tangled her fingers in his hair, any fear within her now replaced with lust. You watched, slack-jawed, as the kiss deepened. It was clear he had full control over Mallory, one hand on her neck and the other lightly caressing the sensitive skin of her inner thigh. The sight of this caused you to grow even more wet than you already were, and soon your hand was finding its way into the front of your underwear.

Langdon stopped the kiss suddenly, turning to you.

“Come here,” he ordered, and you obliged.

He stepped aside, allowing Mallory to stand up and embrace you, her cheeks flushed and eyes heavy-lidded. Your lips met, the chemistry between you undeniable as you melted into one another. She tugged your underwear to the side and a chill ran up your spine as her fingers brushed your aching core, her touch gentle but firm.

You watched Langdon from the corner of your eye, realizing that he had pulled out his cock, and was running his hand up and down his massive length. You slid your hands up Mallory’s stomach and onto her breasts, grabbing them roughly. This earned a soft whimper from her, and her finger entered you effortlessly. You ground your hips down onto her hand, desperate for more, and she slipped a second finger in, thrusting upwards as deeply as she could manage.

The next thing you knew, you felt two hands run up your sides from behind you, and you realized that it was Langdon. You could feel his hardness pressed against your back as he sucked on your neck, hard enough that it would probably leave a mark the next day, his hands grasping at your breasts. The cool metal of his many rings dug into your skin, adding to the many sensations you were experiencing all at once. Mallory craned her neck to kiss the other side of your neck, her fingers still working between your legs, and all at once you realized you were about to orgasm.

“Please,” you groaned, reaching behind you and feeling for Langdon’s cock, which you then wrapped your fingers around loosely. He grazed your hardened nipples with his fingertips before tugging them roughly, just as Mallory thrust inside you with her fingers one final time, the heel of her palm pressing into your clit. With this, you came, hard, head turned up to the ceiling and eyes rolled back into your head.

It took you only a few seconds to recover, and you gestured for Mallory. You laid back on the floor, too horny to care about the hard, cold texture below you. You took Mallory’s hand and pulled her towards you, and she understood what you wanted. Kneeling on either side of your head, she lowered herself down onto your face.

Now face-to-face with Langdon’s crotch, she began stroking his length as you lapped vigorously at her outer lips, eager to hear her moan. You spread her apart with your fingers, lifting your head slightly to lick between them just as Mallory began to take Langdon’s cock into her mouth.

You didn’t know if Mallory had ever given a blowjob before, but from Langdon’s guttural moans, you could tell she knew what she was doing. You held her hips to keep her steady, your mouth enveloping her vagina as your tongue entered her. You knew she liked this, because she began grinding herself down onto your face, her moans meshing with the sounds of her deepthroating.

“Good girl,” you heard Langdon say, and from Mallory came a slight choking sound as she took all of him into her mouth, the flushed head of his penis hitting the back of her throat. You pulled your tongue out of her entrance in order to suck her clit, one hand leaving her hip to thrust two fingers inside her.

You heard her gasp, and soon she was shaking as her orgasm washed over her. Moments later, Langdon grunted loudly as he released into Mallory’s mouth.

Mallory stood up and lifted her dress off the ground, to which you followed suit. Langdon had already tucked himself back into his underwear, by the time the both of you were dressed, and his his face was so stoic, it would seem as if nothing had ever happened.

“You both can leave now,” he said, walking around to the other side of his desk and sitting down. “I have a lot of work to do.”

You took Mallory’s hand and left without another word. Out in the hallway, you looked at one another in disbelief as the same phrase escaped both of your mouths.

“Holy fuck.”

#michael langdon #michael langdon smut #american horror story #mine #smut #apocalypse #ahs apocalypse #ahs smut #ahs imagine #michael langdon imagine #tate langdon #mallory #coven #murder house #ahs coven #ahs murder house #sarah paulson #ms venable

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incorrectchoniberonicaswangs · 6 years ago

Text

hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)

Chapter 7: gays you ever just ahsnfdjsl?? part 1

Chapter Summary: Holiday parties are planned, Cheryl and Toni are Kevin's sapphic moms, an intervention is held, Alice and Hermione are adorable and everyone loves them, Kangs has some news, and Sweet Pea runs away from his problems.

Notes: theMANtle: reggie

ao3

Friday, 3:17 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: its winter break!! finally a respite from the chaos!!

jugheadalones: im so excited!

hbicheryl: hold up, hobo is excited about something??

hisshissmotherfucker: ^^ jones are you sick

jugheadalones: okay, first of all fuck you

jugheadalones: second of all im excited to return to the near-comatose state i maintain every time we have a long period of time off from school

nopeaz: that makes more sense

veroffica: as enjoyable as that likely is to you, holden caulfield, it won't be happening this break. i'm hosting a christmas eve party at the pembrooke starting at 8:00 pm and you are all invited.

veroffica: and you'd better all show up, or else i'll sic my new bodyguard on you.

goingtoheller: i assume you mean betty.

wannabett: guilty :/

spillthefogarTEA: ill be there. and NOT because of your threats

spillthefogarTEA: even though betty is kind of intimidating

goingtoheller: i'll come as well.

nopeaz: cher and ill come too

hisshissmotherfucker: i love parties im there

jugheadalones: i dont suppose i really have a choice do i?

wannabett: not really. sorry jug

jugheadalones: fine.

hbicheryl: speaking of holiday parties

hbicheryl: new years eve party, thistlehouse, time tbd, if you arent there youre dead to me

veroffica: b and i will be there.

spillthefogarTEA: me too

goingtoheller: i'll be there.

hisshissmotherfucker: i hear cheryls parties are infamously dramatic

hisshissmotherfucker: so im definitely coming

hisshissmotherfucker: as long as i dont end up doing seven minutes in heaven with archie like veronica

veroffica: will nobody ever let me forget that??

hisshissmotherfucker: nope

jugheadalones: why do all these party invites come with threats of retribution if you dont attend?

hbicheryl: bc if there wasnt then youd never come

jugheadalones: ill come. begrudgingly.

nopeaz: and ofc ill be there obviously

jugheadalones: wait am i missing something? why is that obvious?

hbicheryl: oh right we didnt tell you lol

hbicheryl: tt moved in with me

goingtoheller: WHAT??

goingtoheller: my sapphic moms moved in together aND I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA??

hisshissmotherfucker: why is keller suddenly chonis kid when did this happen??

hbicheryl: please kevin is basically toni and i's love child

hbicheryl: he has my sass (well not as good as mine but hes trying), my gayness, and my strange desire for dumbass serpents

nopeaz: and my propensity for saying 'this is riveting i cant breathe'

goingtoheller: aw, thanks, moms! mostly! :)

nopeaz: no problem son

hbicheryl: yes we are very proud of you kev (mostly)

jugheadalones: huh i never actually thought about it but that... works?

wannabett: okay cheryl and toni are like the least qualified people here to be anyones lesbian moms?? theyre literally gang members??

hbicheryl: stfu nightmare smurfette do not EVER criticize my parenting skills

hbicheryl: toni and i have slaved for weeks, even MONTHS to make sure that kevin turns into a proper young gay man

hbicheryl: and you have the AUDACITY to suggest that just because my gf and i are deeply flawed people we would corrupt poor kevin??

wannabett: uh... no?

hbicheryl: thats what i thought

nopeaz: wow angry cheryl is scary but hot

spillthefogarTEA: topaz, you are so whipped

spillthefogarTEA: and REALLY fucking gay

nopeaz: yeah ik

jugheadalones: moving on

jugheadalones: speaking of people taking a big step and deciding to live with each other... betty and veronica, we need to talk.

veroffica: um... what?

veroffica: is this some sort of intervention?

hisshissmotherfucker: yes

spillthefogarTEA: moving in together might be considered friendly if, say, betty didnt already have a house that she lives in

nopeaz: but this decision is beyond simple friendship

hbicheryl: and its certainly anything but heterosexual

wannabett: why are you guys finishing each others sentences?? did you plan this??

hisshissmotherfucker: no shit sherlock

veroffica: how do you guys even have this information??

goingtoheller: we have our ways.

wannabett: archie somehow saw our texts through my window

wannabett: jughead told me last night, sorry i didnt tell you v, i didnt know that this was going to happen

nopeaz: dammit jones why do you have to ruin all our fun!!

jugheadalones: i didnt realize that this was a rule?

jugheadalones: so anyway

jugheadalones: b&v, now that you have been confronted with cold hard proof of your undying love for each other, what do you have to say for yourselves?

wannabett: guys im straight!!

goingtoheller: ooh, betty's pulling the straight card.

hbicheryl: i called it! tt, sp, fangs, and jughead, you all owe me $10

hbicheryl: cousin betty is nothing if not predictable in the face of her sexuality being questioned

veroffica: hey, you made bets on this?? not cool!

wannabett: ^^^^

wannabett: and i am NOT predictable!!

hbicheryl: i predicted she was going to say that

hbicheryl: thats another $10 guys

hisshissmotherfucker: for once i trusted in someones willingness to admit when they were wrong and now because of that cheryl is robbing us blind! smh never again

spillthefogarTEA: veronica? you never answered the question

veroffica: uh...

veroffica: i mean, um...

veroffica: we've never even kissed! i'm pretty sure we aren't dating!

nopeaz: to be fair though i wouldnt be surprised if you two were dating without knowing it

veroffica: guys, now really isn't a good time.

jugheadalones: mmmhmm

wannabett: no seriously v and i are getting ready for the christmas eve party

wannabett: its in three days remember

hbicheryl: ugh fine i suppose thats a reasonable explanation

veroffica: and since i know that you won't let this go, at the party you can ask us whatever you want about this.

goingtoheller: wait... for real?

wannabett: uh yeah really v??

veroffica: within reason, of course.

spillthefogarTEA: wow this is more than i expected to come from this

veroffica: one condition, though. you can't pester b and i about it before the party.

veroffica: deal?

hisshissmotherfucker: deal

wannabett: now that thats settled v and i are going to get to work

veroffica: we'll probably be off the grid until maybe a few hours before the party.

[wannabett is offline]

[veroffica is offline]

hbicheryl: toni and i are already headed over to pops, anyone want to join us?

jugheadalones: wont we just be three-wheeling?

hbicheryl: not if we are in a large group

hisshissmotherfucker: ill come if you come jones

jugheadalones: sure.

hisshissmotherfucker: ill be there in five

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

jugheadalones: kevin, fangs?

spillthefogarTEA: im good

goingtoheller: ^^

nopeaz: okay otw

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: leaving now

[jugheadalones is offline]

6:35 PM

nopeaz: GUYS YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHO JUST WALKED IN

spillthefogarTEA: who is it??

spillthefogarTEA: tell me you know im not good with suspense!!

jugheadalones: its alice cooper and hermione lodge!

hisshissmotherfucker: it seems as though archies intel was correct again

hisshissmotherfucker: damn that omniscient fucking northsider

hbicheryl: now i really wish that betty and veronica werent offline so they could hear about this

goingtoheller: why? do you hate them?

hbicheryl: hate is a strong word

hbicheryl: id say that i just occasionally want them to suffer

goingtoheller: that isn't much better...

hbicheryl: i guess ill just have to wait until the party to tell them

nopeaz: okay so they just got a booth and its basically diagonal from ours

jugheadalones: but theyre so enamoured with each other i dont think they even noticed that were here

hbicheryl: wow i dont think ive ever seen aunt alice this happy before

spillthefogarTEA: ugh this sounds so adorable i wish i was there

hisshissmotherfucker: dont worry well narrate their every movement so well itll be like you are

nopeaz: oh shit they keep reaching for each other like every five seconds

spillthefogarTEA: im WEAK

jugheadalones: its so hard to believe that they ever hated each other with the way theyre acting now

jugheadalones: homophobia can really fuck shit up huh

goingtoheller: this is the couple i never knew i needed, but now that i have seen that it's possible, i'm in love.

hisshissmotherfucker: im in shock i cant believe that the same alice cooper that grounded her daughter from any and all contact with the outside world is now just essentially the personification of heart eyes

hbicheryl: this town is so small were all basically inbred

hbicheryl: next thing you know fp and fred are going to be fucking too

jugheadalones: okay i did NOT need that image

nopeaz: AHHHH THEY WENT IN FOR A KISS MAYDAY MAYDAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL

spillthefogarTEA: AHHHHH

goingtoheller: AHHHHHHH

nopeaz: AHHHHHHH

jugheadalones: even i, being asexual and aromantic, have to admit that im loving living vicariously through these two

hisshissmotherfucker: k so they stopped

hisshissmotherfucker: wait no theyre kissing again!

hisshissmotherfucker: and again!

hisshissmotherfucker: okay now theyre just making out

nopeaz: get it girl(s)

hbicheryl: its getting pretty heated

hbicheryl: it feels like the windows are going to start fogging up

jugheadalones: oh damn they stopped

jugheadalones: ms cooper is waving pop over now

goingtoheller: is it creepy that we're so invested in their date?

spillthefogarTEA: probably not

hisshissmotherfucker: nah

jugheadalones: lets go with no

nopeaz: nope

hbicheryl: its only creepy if we get turned on

goingtoheller: moving on... what's happening now??

nopeaz: they got the check and now theyre paying

nopeaz: they can barely keep their hands off of each other

nopeaz: now theyre leaving

nopeaz: should i follow them to keep narrating?

goingtoheller: won't they notice??

jugheadalones: no theyve only got eyes for each other

jugheadalones: follow them SUBTLY while we hold down the table

nopeaz: roger that

hbicheryl: youre such a nerd

nopeaz: you love it

hbicheryl: duh

hbicheryl: now follow them!!

nopeaz: already doing it

nopeaz: so they made it to their car

nopeaz: okay wow wasnt expecting that but im not complaining

spillthefogarTEA: whats happening???

nopeaz: alice just shoved hermione up against the car door and now theyre hardcore making out

nopeaz: damn i wonder if theyre even going to get home or if theyre just going to do it in the parking lot

hisshissmotherfucker: i cant believe alice cooper and mayor lodge BOTH have better sex lives than i do wtf

goingtoheller: who knew that hermione lodge was such a bottom??

hbicheryl: well you know what they say about people in positions of power

hbicheryl: top in the streets bottom in the sheets

jugheadalones: wait cheryl that could apply to you as well

spillthefogarTEA: ooh is the class president getting the strap from the vice president

nopeaz: fuck off fangs

nopeaz: okay so they finally managed to regain some semblance of control

nopeaz: aaaaand theyre driving away

nopeaz: shows over folks

hbicheryl: lets clear out men

nopeaz: meet me by the bike cher

hbicheryl: be there in a sec babe xx

jugheadalones: wait are you telling me that cheryl blossom rode a motorcycle??

hisshissmotherfucker: yeah red i thought you said they were death traps

hbicheryl: well yeah but that was before i got on it

hbicheryl: its like a giant vibrator

hbicheryl: and riding it with toni is basically just the most acceptable type of public sex

goingtoheller: gross.

hisshissmotherfucker: never thought id agree with keller but yeah tmi

nopeaz: whatever

nopeaz: bye fuckers see you all at veronicas party

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: im headed out too

[jugheadalones is offline]

hisshissmotherfucker: me too

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

Monday, 6:43 PM

wannabett: b&v are back bitches!!

veroffica: and, looking through the chat from the past few days... i'm glad i was gone.

wannabett: although now i know what 'hot date' my mom was talking about :/

wannabett: even though i never wanted to know

wannabett: some things are best kept secret especially when your mom goes out on a date with your best friends mom!!

hbicheryl: youre welcome :)

veroffica: cheryl, at this very moment, i simultaneously respect, despise, and fear you.

hbicheryl: aw thanks thats what im always going for!

veroffica: anyway, the party will be starting in an hour or so, but some of my relatives will be over in the meantime. if you've got anything to say that doesn't involve the date my mom and betty's mom have, feel free. if you don't, go to hell.

hisshissmotherfucker: hey im in the neighborhood and i dont have anything else to do would you mind if i came over now

veroffica: sure thing!

hisshissmotherfucker: are you sure your relatives will be fine with me being there?

veroffica: yeah. i mean, betty's here too anyway!

hisshissmotherfucker: k

6:48 PM

goingtoheller + veroffica

goingtoheller: hey, would you happen to have some time you could set away during the party? fangs and i have an announcement we'd like to make.

veroffica: sure thing, kev. how does around 10 sound?

goingtoheller: perfect. thanks, v!

veroffica: no problem.

7:22 PM

gays united

hisshissmotherfucker: rn betty looks like she cant decide whether to be a guard dog or an excited puppy lmao

jugheadalones: context?

hisshissmotherfucker: veronicas greeting her relatives and bettys following her so closely shes practically stepping on her heels

goingtoheller: well, v is definitely holding betty's leash.

nopeaz: yeah veronicas got her by the collar

spillthefogarTEA: if betty doesnt watch her step then shes really going to be in the doghouse

wannabett: stop with the dog puns!! i am not a dog!!

hbicheryl: okay but you have to admit those were pretty good

wannabett: i will admit no such thing! now if youll excuse me im going to go back to talking to ronnies relatives with her

[wannabett is offline]

hisshissmotherfucker: i guess ill keep you all informed on their gay shenanigans

nopeaz: who even says shenanigans anymore??

hisshissmotherfucker: uh i do fight me

nopeaz: square up bitch

hbicheryl: if i had a dollar for every time tt and sp said that they were going to fight i would have enough money to rebuild thornhill

goingtoheller: cheryl, you're the one who burned it down in the first place.

hbicheryl: yes and??

goingtoheller: ...nevermind.

hisshissmotherfucker: im snoRTING

jugheadalones: what happened?

hisshissmotherfucker: so veronica was talking to one of her relatives right

hisshissmotherfucker: and the relative asks her if she has a boyfriend

hisshissmotherfucker: veronica laughs a little and says no so her relative looks at betty whos still trailing behind her like a shadow

hisshissmotherfucker: and knowingly says "oh i see, a girlfriend"

spillthefogarTEA: ajklfshagak i cant even

hisshissmotherfucker: both of them are sputtering uncontrollably unable to formulate a response im dying

hbicheryl: ahahah it was only a matter of time before something like this happened but im really glad it did

nopeaz: i mean relatives are supposed to know you better than anyone else right?

jugheadalones: oh b&v you oblivious wlw

goingtoheller: we're never letting them let this down, are we?

spillthefogarTEA: not a chance

hisshissmotherfucker: IT GOT BETTER

hisshissmotherfucker: veronica finally managed to speak and she (unconvincingly) insisted that she and betty were just friends etc etc and her relative just raised her eyebrows and went "mmhm"

nopeaz: drag themmmmm

hbicheryl: omg we stan

hisshissmotherfucker: im trying to stifle my laughter bc betty and veronica look like they want to murder me

hisshissmotherfucker: but you know what screw it its worth it

hisshissmotherfucker: oh shit bettys coming over here and she looks pissed

hisshissmotherfucker: hello punks, this is betty. i hope youve had your fun listening to sweet pea narrate everything but now im taking his phone and wont be giving it back until the party starts

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

jugheadalones: awww

goingtoheller: at least the party starts soon anyway. then, i'm sure we'll get even more beronica fodder.

jugheadalones: true

hbicheryl: see you then losers

spillthefogarTEA: back at ya cheryl

7:48 PM

nopeaz: cher and i are on our way

goingtoheller: fangs and i are leaving now.

jugheadalones: and im at your door at this very moment

jugheadalones: let me in

jugheadalones: okay great im in

hisshissmotherfucker: and i just got my phone back

hisshissmotherfucker: i will not stand for this tyranny! this is a republic not a monarchy!

wannabett: keep it up and im taking your phone back

hisshissmotherfucker: the oppression continues...

wannabett: sweet pea...

hisshissmotherfucker: fine

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

veroffica: now, let's get this party started!

10:03 PM

spillthefogarTEA: hey guys i know this is fun and exciting and all but would you mind congregating out in the living room? ive got some news

hisshissmotherfucker: anything for my best bro

jugheadalones: sure thing

10:07 PM

hisshissmotherfucker + theMANtle

hisshissmotherfucker: hey mantle are you free rn

theMANtle: yeah, you want me to come over to your trailer?

hisshissmotherfucker: yep im on my way there too

hisshissmotherfucker: see you in ten?

theMANtle: none of your friends will be there, right?

hisshissmotherfucker: nah theyre all still at veronicas party they wont even notice that im gone

theMANtle: not that im complaining, but why arent you?

hisshissmotherfucker: i needed a break

theMANtle: so you were hoping that i could help you blow off some steam? ;)

hisshissmotherfucker: that was the general idea

theMANtle: youre in luck, then. i currently have a lot of free time and what many call an impressive amount of stamina.

hisshissmotherfucker: perfect

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

10:15 PM

gays united

spillthefogarTEA: hey has anyone seen sweet pea? i could have sworn that i saw him before kevin and i made our announcement but now i cant find him anywhere

nopeaz: hes probably just in the bathroom or brooding in the corner somewhere

hbicheryl: dont worry about him just celebrate! youve officially got a new boyfriend!

spillthefogarTEA: "dont worry about him" have you MET me??

goingtoheller: babe, he probably just got bored and bailed.

goingtoheller: i know that he's your best friend, but he isn't who you're dating--i am. can't you forget about sweet pea for a little while and just relax?

spillthefogarTEA: i guess so

goingtoheller: great!

spillthefogarTEA: ill just text sp real quick and attempt to verify that hes still alive first

goingtoheller: whatever you need to do, fangs. i'll see you afterward.

10:19 PM

spillthefogarTEA + hisshissmotherfucker

spillthefogarTEA: hey sweets, i just wanted to make sure you didnt do anything stupid

spillthefogarTEA: i know that you arent kevins biggest fan, but youre my best friend and i dont want to lose you over him

spillthefogarTEA: i wish you were here to celebrate with me but i get it if you cant

spillthefogarTEA: please, just text me back whenever you see this to let me know that youre okay.

[spillthefogarTEA is offline]

10:41 PM

hisshissmotherfucker: thanks for being so understanding fangs but ngl i dont know if i can handle you dating keller

hisshissmotherfucker: i mean like you said

hisshissmotherfucker: we're best friends

hisshissmotherfucker: so i shouldnt have a problem with you going out with whoever you want

hisshissmotherfucker: but something about him just rubs me the wrong way

hisshissmotherfucker: sorry if that wasnt what you wanted to hear

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

Notes: Sorry, this was supposed to just be a long holiday chapter, but I had so many ideas I had to split it into two. Bear with me, please! Also, happy new year, gays! As 20gayteen comes to a close, I hope you find even more peace, prosperity, and (of course) bisexuality in 20biteen!!

48 notes · View notes

smireyac · 4 years ago

Text

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!!

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing....

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe......

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year......

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ???

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!!

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!!

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now..........

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol

so yeah

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

#omg i talk #happy new year

0 notes

wehhhher · 5 years ago

Text

The Fall

A/N: So this is just a story I wrote, and I just wanted to share it. Also, I dont really know how to do the "read more" thing, so sorry if this takes up your whole screen..

Warnings: Mention of murder (that's all I can think of, but please tell me if I should add anything else!)

Word count: 4,555

----------------------------------------------

Chapter 1

Loud beeping was the first thing I heard. After letting my alarm clock beep for a few moments, I sat up and turned it off. While getting out of my bed, I could hear my many brothers and sisters playing around the house and driving my poor parents crazy. I knew that as soon as I took a step out of my room, another day of endless pestering from my family will surely ensue. -And I used to think to be the eldest sibling would be easy- At least I can move away when I turn twenty... in two years...

With a sigh, I started getting dressed for the day. Before leaving my room, I glanced in the mirror, staring blankly at my face. This is my life. I thought to myself. Like I did every day. I wish I could change my situation, but nothing ever seems to work. I'll admit, I've given up trying. Not like I could do anything anyways... My mother was always so controlling of me, always telling me to be "ladylike" and "proper". As if being something like a scientist -my dream job- is improper... I quickly walked to the bathroom, but before I could even get halfway down the hall, one of my brothers, the third youngest, stopped me.

Here we go again...

"Ress, can you help me reach the cookies?"

"No, mom said we only get cookies after dinner."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase?"

He gave me puppy eyes like he did whenever someone wasn't doing something that he told them to do. Luckily, I am one of the few who don't fall for this.

"You know that doesn't work on me, Chase..."

"Come on, please? I won't talk to you for the rest of the day."

"Still no. You and I both know you always break your promises."

"You're so boring! Why can't you be fun, like Tyler?"

He walked off, probably to go ask someone else to get it for him. And as usual, I didn't want anything to do with him for the rest of the hour. While thinking about the chores that needed to be done, I quickly finished getting ready for the day. I opened the door and was greeted by my mother.

"Oh, there you are. I was just about to knock. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you to put on something a little more formal. The king is sending another person to Seriolane."

Another one?

"Didn't he send someone last month though?"

"Yes, but the king says we need to send another person. Whatever he says goes."

"Jeez... I hate that guy."

"Hate is a strong word, Ressolia. And ladies don't use strong language. We're leaving in a few minutes, get ready."

I walked back to my room, mumbling a quick "Ok..." to my mother. While looking through my closet, my mind was racing with questions. Who are they sending this time? Why do they even send people? What happens to them when they cross over? Why are they sending more people than usual? That last question stuck with me for a bit. When I was little, they sent someone every two years. Now they're sending someone every month.

After a while of searching, I settled on a simple purple blouse and black jeggings. Before I left, I looked at my mirror again and put a black barret in my short brown hair. Then, I heard a knock at the door. It's probably mom... I thought as I hurriedly walked over and opened the door. It was, in fact, my mother.

"Really?"

"What?"

"You're not wearing a dress?"

"No. What's wrong with that? Is it not 'ladylike'?" I asked mockingly.

"Don't you talk back to me young lady! We'll talk about it later. We're going now anyway."

My mother glared at me for a second with disgust in her eyes, then she turned and left. I followed her, wondering who would be chosen to go. Even though I didn't like my family, I didn't want them to be sent away... But even if they were, I'd be over it within a week at the latest. They hated me. All of them. And I hated them. All of them.

Once outside, my siblings and I all piled into two cars, my mother's beaten up car, and my father's old pickup truck. Luckily, I got the front seat in my dad's truck. At least my dad didn't constantly badger me into being "ladylike".

Sitting in the passenger seat, I looked out the window of my father's car, catching glimpses of my neighbours and their families also going to the town square. It is a law in our village that everyone must attend the sending away of one of the townsfolk. No exceptions.

We arrived in the town square, everyone was gathered around the portal, which -thankfully- wasn't active yet. If anyone got to town square when the portal was already active, they'd get a $300 fine. We all got out of the car and stayed near the edge of the town square.

After more families came, the king stepped onto the platform in front of the portal. He wore no expression on his face, scanning through the crowd. A guard speedily walked over to him and handed him an envelope, and rushed off the platform. The king silenced the crowd, clearing his throat.

The portal was activated, sending a blinding light bursting off in all directions. After the flash of light, what was left in the large portal was swirls of white, gray, and black. I could see a single swirl of purple, but when I told my brother about it, I was immediately hushed by my mother.

"Quiet! You know what happens when people interrupt the king."

Following my mother's order, I shut up. She had a point, whenever someone disrespected the king, they were burned at the stake. The king opened the envelope, which meant he was about to say who was being sent. He scanned through the crowd again, and for a second longer than usual, he looked right at me.

"The one being sent to Serolan will be..." He looked at the name in the envelope.

"Ressolia Jehrone."

It took me a second to process, but then it hit me like a megaton of bricks.

Me.

My mother crossed her arms and looked away from me, while my father looked at me with disappointment. Guards walked over to me, I tried running but they caught me before I could even get out of town square. They dragged me to the portal, I didn't want to go. Even though there was nothing for me in the normal world, I didn't want to go somewhere where I will most likely be killed. This is not the solution to anything, I don't care what they say. I am not going.

I am not--

My thoughts halted as I was pulled onto the platform and closer to the portal. I caught a glance of the king, still with no emotion on his face. I was thrown into the portal, and everything from the normal world was gone. Forever.

Everything was black, I couldn't see or feel anything. I was falling, and flying at the same time. It stayed like this for what seemed like an eternity. Until I was meet with another blinding light. The next thing I know I'm lying on the ground of the platform for the portal.

For a second, I thought I was back home. I thought the portal just spat me back out. But I knew that would be impossible. Slowly getting up, I looked back at the portal. It was off. Definitely can't go back now... I sighed and turned around only to see someone standing near the platform. As soon as I saw him, he spoke.

"Out of all the people sent here, you are handling this situation the best."

He walked over to the platform and stood in front of me. He stood at what seemed like 7'8 from where I was, and he wore a cape made of pristine white feathers. He looked the same as a human, but I could tell he wasn't. I got up and stood tall, not letting my worry show.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Froleroselotaliohn, but you can call me 'Talio' if it's too hard for you to pronounce." The sarcastic tone in his voice was, irritating, to say the least. He wore a mischievous grin on face, and I could already tell he wasn't a very good person. The name was easy to say, probably spell if I put a little thought into it.

"I can say your name just fine thank you."

"Oh really? Can you prove that for me?"

"Froleroselotaliohn. There, I said it."

"Impressive. I can already tell you'll set a good example here."

"Why exactly am I here?"

"You know how Royals and rich people have maids and servants? That's what you are here. But there will be chances to be more than just slaves if you have more than just cleaning skills."

"Alright. Anything else?"

"Just the rules. Rule #1, don't disrespect me. Rule #2, no fighting with the other maids and servants. Rule #3, don't ask too many questions. Rule #4, never come out of your room after midnight. Rule#5, do NOT go near the tunnel downwards. Rule #6, don't 'hook up' with the other maids and servants. Also, if you break one of these rules, you get a strike. If you get ten strikes, you get a free trip to death town. Understood?"

"Yes. And what's the tunnel downwards?"

"Remeber, don't ask too many questions. And I'm sure the other maids can tell you about the tunnel downwards."

He turned and started walking towards a huge, majestic castle. Then, he stopped and called over his shoulder. "Are you coming?"

"Yes, sorry." I politely said as I hurried to catch up with him. When we got the huge glass doors at the front of the castle, two servants opened the doors for us. Once we were inside, the closed the doors behind us. How do they do that? Those doors look heavy...

We started walking through the never ending halls of the castle while I was looking at the various designs on the walls. The numerous plants and decorations around the castle were stunningly beautiful. He led me inside the castle and through multiple hallways. He stopped for a moment, and so did I.

"Let's take a quick detour, shall we?"

He quickly started walking down another hallway. Not wanting to get lost, I followed him. We kept walking, and walking, and walking until we stopped at a single door at the end of a long, hallway. He opened the door and stepped aside.

"Ladies first."

I walked into the semi-dark room, there was nothing in it besides two chairs around a small table, and a single lamp on the table. He walked in and closed the door behind him.

"Please, sit down."

I sat down in the chair and straightened my posture as he walked in, closed the door behind him, and sat down across from me.

"Here."

He handed me something that looked like a compass, but it looked futuristic and the different parts seemed to float above it. I could see multiple gears and other parts through the thin material I assumed to be glass. The signs around the edge looked similar to Roman numerals, but they were different in a way I couldn't describe.

"What is it?"

"Just press the button in the centre."

With slight hesitation, I pressed down in the middle of the compass. Immediately, I knew the entire layout of the castle. I knew every room and its purpose.

"Fascinating..."

"Yes, it is very fascinating indeed. My father created it when I was a child to help me and... the servants get around the castle without much trouble."

I could tell he was hiding something, but I chose not to ask. I decided to ask about the compass itself. It was very interesting after all, I wanted to know more about it.

"Could you tell me how it works?"

"Sadly, no. My father never told me how any of his creations worked, he only told me how to use them."

"Was your father an inventor?"

"Yes, he was a great one too. He's created many incredible things, he made something new every other week. And he could've made so many more if he hadn't been... Nevermind."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You should go meet the other maids, there will be a few in the maid's quarters. Also, your daily list of chores is on your bed."

I stood up, leaving the compass on the table.

"Alright. I'll see you later then."

As I left the room, I felt Froleroselotaliohn watching me. I still wanted to know more about the compass, and possibly more of his father's inventions, but I didn't want to irritate him with more questions. The maid's quarters was a little far from the room I was just in, but I didn't mind walking. I eventually got to the door leading into the maid's quarters, but before I went inside, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Excuse me, who are you?"

I turned around, only to see one of the people from my village. I recognized her immediately.

"Jadyn?"

"Oh, it's you. Ressolia. How have you been?"

She spoke with a bitter tone, staring at me with disgust. I decided getting away from her would be the best thing to do now. After all, I wanted nothing to do with her. For the rest of my life

"I've been fine. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Ok, cool. Well, I have to go. Bye."

"See ya. Toad."

Her nicknames for me have never been the smartest or the witty-est, but they were annoying enough to get on my nerves. I gave her a cold look before walking into the maid's quarters. It looked like any old living room, but bigger. It had a warm and welcoming vibe, one that would make you feel safe as long as you were there.

There were multiple doors with names on them along the east wall. Near the farthest door, there was a spiral staircase leading up to a second floor. The middle of the second floor was just empty space, which left the rest of the floor near the wall as a balcony of some sort. I could see some doors on the walls upstairs, which also had names on them.

Assuming they were the maid's bedrooms, I looked around for my door. Because I knew where all the rooms were, it didn't take long for me to find my room. I opened the door and walked in, closing it behind me. The size was a little bit like a room in a cheap hotel. The bed in the top left corner of the room looked ten times cozier than my bed at home.

There was a small-ish closet in the corner near the door with what I guess was a maid's outfit. It didn't look like a normal maid's outfit, but y' know, I'm in another realm. The outfit was made up of white jeans, and a light-green-button-down with short-ish sleeves. There was also some pyjamas in the closet.

On the bed, there was a single piece of paper. I sat on the bed and picked it up, reading through it. It read:

Daily Chores

*Meet some of the maids*

*Explore the castle (Make sure you have your watch with you)*

*Go to the dining room no later than 6:30 PM*

*After dinner, relax in the maid's quarters for a while*

*Be in bed at 10:30 PM at the latest*

(Since it is your first day here, you will not have to do any chores or cleaning, but tomorrow you will do some tasks with other maids and servants to learn how to do different jobs)

I put down the paper and noticed the watch on the bedside table. After I put it on, I checked the time to see how much time I have to do all the things on the list. It was 4:15 PM, so I had about two hours until I had to be in the dining room, so a good time to start heading there would be at 5:45 PM.

I walked out of my room, holding the list. There were two maids downstairs sitting on the couch. I should go and talk to them. I thought as I started walking down the stairs. As soon as I was on the first floor of the quarters, both of them were looking at me.

"Oh, are you the new maid?"

One of the maids jumped up with excitement.

"Yeah. I got here a while ago."

She walked over to me.

"I'm Lola, you?"

"Ressolia, but you can call me Ress."

"Okie dokie!"

She shook my hand with excitement.

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet ya too!"

The other maid walked over to me, she also shook my hand.

"The name's Wendy. Welcome to Seriolane."

"Thanks."

Wendy put her arm around Lola.

"It was great to meet ya, but we gotta go finish up some chores. See you at dinner!"

They walked out of the quarters while talking about something I couldn't hear from the other side of the room. I looked around the first floor, looking at the details in the furniture. After a little bit, I decided to go explore the gardens around the castle.

While walking through the castle to get to the gardens, I saw a few maids and servants cleaning around the castle. I got to the gardens and started looking at the different flowers and plants, interested in all the new types of flowers I've never seen before.

After walking for a while, I came across a fence around a hole in the shape of a large square. There was a sign on the fence, it read:

The Tunnel Downwards

Do Not Enter

Struck with interest, I stepped closer to the fence. I remembered what Froleroselotaliohn said about the rules, and stopped myself. Curiosity killed the cat, but at least the cat learned something new. I leaned over the fence, trying to see what exactly the tunnel downwards was.

The walls looked like they were just a solid colour of light grey, like the walls that someone would have in a living room. I noticed the farther down it went, the darker the colour of the walls went. It could've just been dark, -and this would've been a reasonable explanation- but I could just barely see light at the bottom.

I leaned over the fence more, trying to get a better look. There was a small, run-down house on the base of The Tunnel Downwards near one of the walls. in front of one the cracked windows of the house, there was someone tending a small garden that was beyond restoration.

He looked similar to Froleroselotaliohn, except he looked smaller and weaker. And instead of wearing a cape of pristine-white feathers, he wore a cape of dull grey feathers. Matching the shade of the wall. Suddenly, he stopped a looked up. At me.

We stared at each other in surprise and wonder for a long moment. Eventually, I heard my watch beep. I checked the time, it was 6:00 PM. I slowly backed away from the fence, nodding a silent goodbye to him as I turned to leave. Whilst making my way to the dining room, my mind was brimming with questions and -sadly- no answers.

I got to the dining room at 6:25 PM, almost late. To my surprise, there was nobody at the table. Or even in the room at all. Except for Froleroselotaliohn, sitting at the head of the long table.

"Good evening Ressolia."

"Where is everybody?"

"Dinner starts at 7:00, I just wanted to make sure you know how to follow instructions. I test a lot of the maids and servants like this. Most of them get something wrong. You're doing a great job so far."

"...How come you keep saying that I'm better than everyone else here?"

"Because you are! Each one of the people here -except for me of course- immediately tries to go back to the 'normal' realm as soon as they arrive. It can get very chaotic..."

"Hm. Ok then."

He glanced at his pocket-watch for a moment, then looked back at me.

"Dinner won't be served for another 35 minutes, I guess we have some time to kill." I looked at the table, there were pieces of paper with names on them. "Oh, your seat is over here." He pointed to a seat at the end of the left side, -technically- next to Froleroselotaliohn. I sat down and looked at a pencil and notepad next to my plate.

"Why is this here?"

"I figured you'd get bored waiting for dinner to be served, so I put a notepad there for you if you want to draw something."

"Ok, thank you."

I picked up my pencil and started drawing some feathers on the paper. I wasn't a very good artist, so they came out looking like weird sausages.

"Froleroselotaliohn?" I said looking up at him. -also partially hiding my terrible drawing-

"Yes?"

"Doesn't that cape ever make you uncomfortable?"

"No, not at all."

"Why do you always wear it?"

"There are multiple families of Xeriloes around Seriolane, each family wears a cape of feathers to show our importance."

"Xeriloes?"

"It roughly translates to 'Royals' from my language."

Thier language. It was obvious that they spoke a different language besides English, but somehow it never occurred to me.

"How come you know English? Do all the other Xeriloes know how to speak it?"

"Xeriloes learn the language that the people speak where their portal is located."

"So every family of Xeriloes have a portal?"

"Indeed."

"Hm. Do--"

"I think that's enough questions for one day. Dinner will be served in a few minutes. Here, give me the notepad for now."

"Ok."

I gave him the notepad and he put it in his pocket, hidden by his cape.

"You know, even though you're a lot better at most things than the other maids and servants, but you definitely ask the most questions."

"What can I say? I have a passion for knowledge."

The door opened to the dining room, revealing two of the maids I met in the quarters.

"Hi Lola, hi Wendy."

"Hey, Ress!"

Lola shouted from across the room. Wendy shot her a look and elbowed her in the stomach.

"Good evening, lord."

They said in unison as they both bowed. Froleroselotaliohn nodded, brushing off their greeting. I stared at them in confusion, wondering why people are calling him "Lord" when all he told me to call him was his name. I was about to ask, but then Froleroselotaliohn gave me a cold glare. Needless to say, I didn't say anything.

Several more maids gathered into the dining room, all bowing their heads and greeting Froleroselotaliohn as "Lord". I didn't see any male staff anywhere though. But after a while, some servants started coming out of the kitchen with food. I guess all the male staff works in the kitchen... If that was true, then that would mean there are not many men here... I didn't really care though, I'm more interested in science and knowledge than love.

Everyone ate their dinner in silence. I supposed everyone was too afraid to speak in their "Lord's" presence. After everyone had finished, Froleroselotaliohn stood up, and everybody's attention turned to him.

"I'm sure you are all aware that there is a new staff member here."

He looked at me and motioned for me to stand. I did so, then everyone's attention was on me. But once Froleroselotaliohn spoke, the spotlight was back on him.

"She can introduce herself to all of you later. I can already tell that she will set a good example to all of you, and I hope none of you plan to hurt or sabotage her. You know the rules. No fighting. Now, I have some work to do. Goodnight."

The room was dead silent up until he left the room, and everyone sighed with relief as if they were holding thier breath the entire meal. One of the servants looked up to me and asked how I was so calm during that whole situation. I looked at him in confusion and answered, "Because I'm not scared of him."

"How?" Another servant spoke.

"Because I don't really have a reason to."

"...What do you mean?" Said one of the maids.

"Well, he seems like a bad person, but he hasn't done anything bad as far as I know..."

There was a long pause until Lola spoke up.

"You know how the king has been sending more and more people to Serolan..?"

"Yes, why?"

"...I'll tell you back at the quarters.."

Everyone stood up, realizing that it was probably late. I looked at my watch, it was 8:57 PM. The servants started clearing the plates as the maids either stayed and helped or left. I helped put away a few dishes, then I started walking to the maid's quarters.

I arrived at the quarters, humming a tune that was stuck in my head. There were a few maids in the kitchen area of the quarters. I found Lola in the living room and sat down next to her on the couch.

"So... What's so bad about Frolerose-"

"Don't. No one says his name."

"Ok then..."

"There are five-hundred-sixty-two staff members in the castle. The number has stayed the same ever since the portal was turned on... Has he told you about the rules yet?"

"Yes, he also told me about the strike system."

"Well, recently, he hasn't really been remembering that... If someone broke one rule in the slightest, then they would be killed."

"What? Why?"

"Nobody knows... The only reason he would be doing that is because of past family issues. Don't ask, it's just a rumour that's been going around."

"Hm..."

"It's getting late, we should go to bed..."

"Ok then. Goodnight."

"Night..."

I got up and walked over to my room, closing my door behind me. After putting on the Pyjamas that were in my closet, I got into bed and tried to sleep. I couldn't. The thoughts of what could happen to me filled my head to the brim. After a while of asking questions, I decided to focus on one I could probably answer if I was careful: What is the purpose of the Tunnel Downwards, and who was the person trapped inside it?

#TheFall #my writing #screeeee #sned halp #first actual post #portals #feathers #idk what im doing #idk what to do #idk what it is #idk what tags to use

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toldnews-blog · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/politics/watch-impeaching-trump-doesnt-necessarily-benefit-democrats-matthew-dowd/

WATCH: Impeaching Trump 'doesn't necessarily benefit Democrats': Matthew Dowd

Transcript for Impeaching Trump ‘doesn’t necessarily benefit Democrats’: Matthew Dowd

So they don’t have anything with Russia. There is no collusion. So now they go and morph into, let’s inspect every deal he has ever done. We’re going to go into his finances. We’re going to check his deals. We’re going to check — these people are sick. Unfortunately, you put the wrong people in a couple of positions and they leave people for a long time that shouldn’t be there, and all of a sudden, they’re trying to take you out with . There’s a beep there for president trump. Two hours plus yesterday that his longest speech ever, perhaps the longest speech ever by an American president. Caps a tumultuous week for the president. We want to bring in our round table. Chief political analyst Matthew dowd, Sara Fagen who was a director in the George W. Bush white house. We have Tom llamas, Maggie Haberman from “The New York Times,” who broke that story on Jared Kushner’s security clearance, and author of the new book “If we can keep it.” Real study of how we got to our polarized politics today. Great book, Michael. Let’s begin with the week. Matthew, you look at the week. You look at the Cohen hearing. Seven hours on capitol hill, the collapse of the North Korea talks. Maggie’s story about the security clearance which we saw congressman Nadler call an abuse of power, but one thing this screams out is president trump emerges this week with his Republican base completely intact. I mean, what we’re seeing now is because we have been operating in this sort of chaotic environment for two plus years or three years if you include the campaign and everything that happened in that, I think people at this point in time, the people that are opposed to Donald Trump are solidly opposed to Donald Trump. The people that are for Donald Trump are basically solidly for Donald Trump, and all these pieces of information don’t seem to change that equilibrium. I think the country is waiting to tell us and give us the story. Give us the Mueller report. Find something in an investigation that they find incredibly credible which wouldn’t be Michael Cohen even though he raised dramatic concerns that I think the congress should investigate. But I think we’re in this equilibrium place that’s fundamentally not going to change until something the American public is presented with, where they have a conclusion. It was pretty remarkable on Wednesday, and we saw with congressman Mccarthy today, complete focus on Michael Cohen and his credibility and no concern or even defense of the president. Against the charges against the president. Are there any risks for Republicans in — in walking in lock step behind president trump? The only risk to Matt’s point is if there is some real there there. And right now, we don’t have evidence of collusion. We have manafort’s evidence of collusion. You have manafort’s crimes, but that doesn’t necessarily extend to the president. We’ll see what the Mueller report says, but one would think after, you know, a year plus, 18 months, we would see something if it was directly connected to the president by this point. But I think, you know, ultimately about Cohen, you can look around the investigation labyrinth between the southern district and Mueller and the congress. Of all the things the trump white house needs to be concerned about — and there are real concerns out there, the Cohen testimony wasn’t one of them. He’s just not a credible figure, and only base Democrats found him credible and they would find him credible no matter what he said at this pnt if he was criticizing Donald Trump. I guess the question will be what happens in the follow up. One of the things I wanted to bring to you is, you know, a lot of us have been hearing these reports and didn’t know how much credence to give them. The Mueller report will be coming out soon and anti-climactic. One of the mysteries, the president doesn’t act like a guy expecting welcome news from Robert Mueller. No, although it’s hard for me to do such tea leaf reading out of Donald Trump’s behavior because he forecasts negatives that aren’t there either, but he absolutely is pre-spinning something. That’s what that speech was largely about. It’s discrediting whatever is going to be coming down the pike. Whether that’s going to relate to Russia directly or some other aspect of his business, but no. He is not saying there is nothing here and there’s nothing to worry about and moving on like a happy warrior. Psychically, it’s hard for me to divorce that from the week he has. It may not have anything to do with what he knows is there. It might be habit too. It might be habit and this is one of the worst weeks, if not, the worst of his presidency. You had on the same day with Michael Cohen’s testimony, the summit in Vietnam with the north Korean leader and that did not go well. He feels like he’s fighting this two-prong front and yesterday was an attempt to get back. You covered president trump all through the campaign and a lot of what you saw this week must have been familiar to you, particularly that fuming against Michael Cohen, and for so long, they had a, you know, contentious at times relationship, but very close as I agree with Maggie, but I think any time president trump gives a long speech, and this was the longest of his presidency, two hours, he clearly is trying to make a point. So I agree with Maggie, but he was trying to wrestle back the headlines. Remember. He was in Vietnam on the cover front pages across the world, but so was Michael Cohen, and he had that failed summit in north Korea, and he was talking to his crowd. He was trying to camp them up, and by the end of it, he had turned that into a campaign I agree with Maggie. He may possibly be worried about something, but he’s trying to wrestle back those headlines. Your book explains the polarization, and talk about the risk I brought up with Sara Fagen, and reaching impeachment which congressman Nadler seemed at times to be sensitive to in the interview today. He was quite sensitive to it, and I think he said the right thing. I think he said that, you know, they can’t get too far out in front of public opinion when it comes to the issue of impeachment. They can’t see two Republicans like they are trying to nullify the results of the last election. He denied to you that it was political, but there is nothing wrong with being a little bit political about this. This is politics. It’s okay to be a little bit political. Yes, they have to follow the rule of law, and they have to do the right thing according to the law, and if the president obstructed justice merely obstructing justice, forget about obstruction of justice sometimes when we talk about obstruction of justice is a real thing and an impeachable offense. He’s right, and they can’t get too far out in front of public opinion on this. They have to bring public opinion on this along if that’s where they are going to go. It was stunning to me to listen to the congressman say that he has absolutely obstructed justice when congress has had but a few hearings. He has made up his mind already, and the Democrats are going to look for as long as they are able, until they find something that they — that they view as obstruction of justice. That is not — that is not the honest way to approach it. It’s already under way. One could make that argument, but you could make that argument that the majority of the country has made up their mind about the president, and you could make the point that Republicans have made up their mind. I think the problem for the Republicans in this is we ran a test case of what it’s like to be running with this president in 2018. At the same level of approval ratings he has today, and that test case — It’s kind of climbing a little bit. 46% in the new poll. Which is where he was — which is where he was right before the midterms which is where he was on inauguration day, and when the elections were held in November, 2018, Democrats had an historic election advantage. They won by 10 million votes and so if we run this out, the problem for the president isn’t what his number is. The problem is he is un — he has not convinced the majority of the country to support him. And we learn the investigations. You had this piece about the security clearances this week in Jared Kushner, and it’s remarkable, this video of the president during your interview saying I didn’t get involved. Bring us inside within that. Do you think he knows what you are talking about, and exactly what he’s saying and all the details and knowing how much vulnerability he could have in the future? It’s always hard to know exactly how aware he is of sort of future dangers, right? I mean, he tends to sort of exist in increments of time and says what he has to say. I asked him the question because we had been pursuing this tip that there was a memo, a Kelly memo — Chief of staff? Correct. That he was directed or ordered to give this clearance to Jared Kushner by the president. Again, within the president’s authority, and so when I asked the question, I thought he was going to say yes, and I thought I was going to go back and write a story about how this clearance had come about. They have the right to do it. Instead, he said no, and I don’t think I have the authority to do that, and I was surprised and I’m not usually surprised in these discussions with him, but I was there because I thought he was just going to lean into what he could do. I don’t know what the language was between him and John Kelly. I don’t know what the specifics of the conversation were. I think only the two of them do. Could it be a situation where he said, just deal with it? And John Kelly took that as an order or did John Kelly press him and say, is this an order and he said, yes? I don’t know. It seems to be he followed through on the documented requests starting tomorrow. A lot of this information is either going to get locked up in the courts or we’ll see it trickling out over the next Over the next few years possibly. What I got from the Nadler interview is what is the north star? If it’s no longer the Mueller report or obstruction of justice, is anything big enough to take down the president? I don’t know about that, but when you lay out everything they had there, the emoluments violations, looking at his tax returns, and potential abuse of power, obstruction of justice, it seems like we have quite a year ahead. I don’t think it’s benefit — it doesn’t necessarily benefit Democrats to impeach the president politically. I think that’s one of the questions I wanted to get to. We’re running over time now, but is it possible we’re seeing an emerging democratic strategy that you simply keep on doing the investigations and never reach the actual question of whether to open up the proceedings? That depends on the evidence, but I think it’s much better for the Democrats, if they don’t get to the final stage. What is the point of that? The point is just politics and, you know, if they have direct evidence to implicate the president or someone around him, they should — they should go there, but for them to go down a road where they have no end game, it seems like it’s very disruptive to the country. I think if you have a president who has broken the law as Michael Cohen alleges — we don’t know that, but he says that, and a president who has obstructed justice, which it seems he has done on national television, in front of our faces and on Twitter, there is a point to bringing all that out.

This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.

#election news #indian politics #political news #political news articles #politics news #US politics

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me-desahogo-en-tu-jeta · 7 years ago

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Fighting Depression and Anxiety #01

Hi, I’m gonna make some kind of diary where I’m gonna tell you my thoughts about this process. I have been diagnosed severe Social Anxiety so far. But I know I have depression and some suicidal thoughts. My therapist is going to be an important part in this fight.

I do this because I want people that suffer from this not to feel alone. I want to give you a perspective of someone who is suffering from this but, at the same time, wants to fight and change. Sometimes, on the internet I find these positive quotes, articles talking about how to get out of anxiety and depression, I did a big research almost everyday to find out answers... but nothing ever helped me. I couldn’t empathize with anything at all.

Important Note: This is all my opinion and personal experience. This doesn’t have to define how you feel, how you will feel, or how to deal with this. It’s only my thoughts and the way I cope with this fight and my existence.

First, I will try to put you in context. Imagine Life and Living like this natural scenery with some paths on it. The sun and light guide us in this path we’ve chosen, and we can see butterflies and apples in the trees. Sometimes we face challenges and problems too, like a river in our way, or some other troubles. But us, somehow, walked inside a endless, rambling cave, for so long that we ended up without seeing any light. This cave is like some kind of maze, in which you only guide yourself with your bare hands. Every little obstacle makes you fall, and you don’t know where you will end up. You’ve been walking in this cave for almost two years, without any single clue of how to escape. It feels like a giant maze.

This leaves you tired, hopeless, it makes you question why are you walking at all. Everything is tasteless. Company is just a distraction, but deep down you feel the same, so it doesn’t cheer you at all. What’s the point of eating, cleaning, everything? This is how I feel right now. Do you feel it too?

Secondly, I’m gonna make you a question:

Do you want to change?

looks like an obvious question, but it wasn’t that easy for me. Because wanting to change, means that you will have to make some changes. You’ve adapted so well to the warm darkness of the cave that implying to do something new, will make you even more tired and worthless that you already feel. To change implies even more effort of yourself. If living everyday just feels like crawling, imagine that you have now to push yourself even harder. I’m sorry if I’m beign harsh, but this is what I feel right now, I don’t want to discourage you.

If we are in this cave, imagine discovering just one little white dot (that could be the only exit) at the top of the cavern. And the only way to get through it, is climbing its walls, when you’re already so fucking done with everything.

Why would you want to change the way you feel?

I think you must need some kind of reason, even the dumbest. For me, it’s simple. Because I’m almost 25 and I haven’t find a job yet. Because, if I cannot suicide, I will have to live and find a job and be independent. Because I don’t want to keep living finnancially from my parents. Because feeling like a constant failure in the eyes of my friends and family feels terrible, and I cannot escape from life. I’m not even doing this for myself, I’m doing this because this system orders me to live within its rules. This depression is not productive, so I must change.

Once you’ve answered this questions and somehow, you say “yes, I want to change”, even the smallest “yes” will help, and we will move to the next point. You’ll probably have to think about this for some days, weeks or months. Sometimes we are at our worst and we feel like it’s impossible trying to fight, and we feel absolutely hopeless. Let these moments pass. Sometimes we will feel like thinking about it, but the next day we will feel down. If this happens, try to rethink these questions another day.

If someday you feel better, or you experience something that makes you feel better, your answer to these questions could be: “I want to fight because I want to feel more days and moments to be like these” But I don’t know your personal circumstances to tell you that, but I hope that it helps.

I know that trying to figure out the reason to fight against these demons is hard to find because you can’t even see the point of your whole life. I have to find a external reason because I’ve given up on myself. Try looking for an answer in that kind of way.

Now the next step in this phase has been the most difficult of them all:

You’ll have to search for help.

For me, I’ve realized that I couldn’t get throught this alone. I read so many posts about fighting depression, tips, thing that I could have done. But I never started doing them. I read, read, read... but I feel so tired that I couldn’t get some extra energy from myself to try and do it on my own. Maybe for some of us is the same.

The best way in my opinion is going to therapy. Maybe you don’t like the one you’re visiting, so you’ll have to keep trying until you find the one that fits with you and your personality. If you have social anxiety and don’t want to make a phone call, try asking someone you know if they could do it for you. This phone call could change your life, and a therapist is not gonna judge you because they actually are going to help you to deal with these kind of thoughts. If you can’t afford it, tell this to someone you trust and ask them to keep track on you. If you don’t want to give details, just tell them to ask you if you have done these excersises and tips you find on the internet. There are some chats online if you feel more confident that way. Tell them your situation and hear their advices.

Maybe you’ll get exposed to rejection, maybe the answers you get doesn’t satisfy you, maybe you get dissapointed. If you get a negative experience from this, try to think that not every person will react the same way when you open up to them. Try not to expect an instant relief, just some other point of view, other perspective. You can question their answers, you don’t have to do everything someone could tell you. Keep the advice that seems achievable and that fits with you. For someone with social anxiety, this is gonna be hard. You don’t have to open up inmediatly about what you feel, go little by little when you speak about your problem.

I know how this works. You feel tired, so you don’t even can think of doing any of these. It’s an uroboros of pain, tiredness, and no hopes or expectations. So, you could think: How can you tell me to go and explain someone to help me change, when I can’t even do the simplest things in life? Well, even in this endless nightmare, there are days in which you’ll feel a lil bit better, other days that you’ll feel worst, and those days when you just hit rock bottom.

Those moments in which I knew I reached another level in this hell, in this storm of voices repeating constanly that I wanted to die so bad, also, this thought appeared: If I dont have the guts to die, I have to change this, somehow. Desperation and even more pain wakes you up somehow, they tell you to react. Like the exhausted horse that have carried for so long a heavy burden and can’t continue, even in this tiredness, will react to an electric shock. This didn’t happen just one day. This conclusion came after some days feeling extremely terrible and sick of everything.

But, after this Big Step is taken, everything else is gonna be easier. You’ll feel more able to ask for help. Even if you don’t, you’ve pushed yourself and your limits, and you will know that you’ll do whatever it takes to make some changes in your life. And that is good. You could try other time when you feel like it.

I will try to update this, and see how everything goes.

PD. Maybe this post gets some edits. Even if sometimes my words are harsh and raw, I hope it helps. I was tired of happy and quiet advices that only made me feel like shit, even more. If this doesn’t help you, just delete all this info and search for the one you find more comfortable with.

#depression #anxiety #socialanxiety #fightingdepression01 #fighting #Personal Experience #help #dear diary #diary

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teydious · 5 years ago

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a month of quarantine

since everyone is talking about #quaranthings on social media, you name it, facebook, twitter, ig, tiktok, a week ago someone even sent me a group message (i mean bruh who does that nowadays) i might as well crack some thoughts instead of yet another episode of lying and mulling over nonsense things on bed, so now im in my desk to what i assume an office-corner in my room, pretending that im absolutely focused and have nothing ever to distract me from writing this entry - sooo here it is, my hashtag-quaranthings.

i think i’ve reach the point of letting myself to go mad and do whatever my mind tells me to, i’ve been basically a slave to my own mind. yep, since i peaked teenage life there was not a day i dont protest doing what my whole being is against with and still end up doing it because im such an idiot without self-control. this apparently has led me to horrible, horrible decisions coated with a massive energy of remorse and humiliation. yay, congrats to me; a person who always been dragged by wants and spontaneous impulses. really, how do i still show my face around?! 😭

a week after lockdown i was at tug of war between my body and my screwed sleeping schedule. i literally slept between 2-3 am, wakes up around 10am and sleep again for four hours at 3pm. this was on loop for about two weeks until i mentally beat my ass and decided to get my shit together and fix my routine. ahh, yes routine🙃 that word has long been astrayed since i entered college. my high school phase was calm, too timid and organize, seems all things was in my palms and i get to dictate my good and bad habits, but boy when i came to college, it was a different level of stupidity. my time management, my habits, routines, my schedules were fucked up and tossed to the other side of the Pacific ocean - i was at loss. mentally, i was drained; physically, dehydrated and always always tired; my will and passion seems limited and i was always profoundly unmotivated; i didnt know i am and these strange people keep pushing me to cross the line, they seem to bring out something i didnt know i had in me.. or was it always within me and i’ve been concealed all my life? either way im still fucked up. now came to my terrible choices, after two weeks of lockdown, well i kind of tried to do productive things - i draw, i read books, i actually read 3 books(heh be proud self), i fixed my room, my closet and did some reformations, i wrote couple of things, i watched educational films - i basically TrIEd to iron my crampled routine. but i wouldn’t say i’ve done everything because obviously im still slacking off, not a surprise anymore. the funny thing is though im aware of my shit, i still not do anything about it😬 god i am forever be a shitty person with shitty decisions in life. im trashy than raccoons. my life has been digital, insecured, unable to write a proper piece, hang out in twitter and bragged my filtered habits, plus ignoring people who reach out and onlyrespind to selected few i feel like talking to. i know, i know stab me in the back, im a terrible friend.

i did keep track of my emotions though. i was coming back and forth with my feelings, and desperate to have someone to flirt with(because trust me, thats what everyone i know seems to be doing in quarantine). last night, someone i like drop a bomb at me. i mean, it happen so fast til now i still dont know how to digest the information. to give a little backstory, i like this guy for around 5-6 months now i guess, whoa thats long for a crush; we dont talk much especially now that social distancing have been the absolute rule of all time. we do chat sometimes, brief conversations i still squeeled about, however last night he, out of knowhere, told me he and his girl friend already called the thing off, “split na kami” he says, and i was like bruhhh what u say? u cant hust drop that to someone who’s secrelty infatuated by for months😳 trust me i was hyperventilating the moment he said that. i couldn’t breathe properly, my mind is thrown in different places, and hand itched to slap my face to knock some sense. it was a bomb i didnt know would drop so abruptly and so fast! you know, when you predicted that something will happen eventually and it did happen, only that it was sudden and terse and you were unprepared but the bomb just come dropped off at that exact moment, boom! i didnt die, but i sure am breathless, figuratively and literally. to be honest, i didnt know of i should be happy, i didnt know what appropriate emotion should i be feeling even. i didnt feel sorry for their relationship, it would be sounding hypocrite to say that. i was unconvinced, but i felt giddy. partly, i wanted to believe it was true, that they broke up and that i should be happy, but what would this happiness leads me..? false hope? because suddenly they broke up and it was my turn? that night, i dreamt about him. he’s even haunting my dream now.

anyway, this has been long and i must admit that it was a good thing that i was able to write this much instead of abiding the limited characters when i tweet. my #quaranthings aren’t finished and i’d like it to surprise me whatever it brings me.

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generouslyteenagealpaca-blog · 6 years ago

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Can I have two different life insurance covers?

"Can I have two different life insurance covers?

Suppose I have two different life covers (insurances), one is an endowment/whole life insurance and the other is a term insurance. In case I die within life cover period, will the two different insurance companies give the separate sum assured amounts in full to the nominee? Will the same rule be valid if I take two such life insurances from same company? I am asking because I have one whole life policy which I may or may not continue, so to get advantage of lower premium, I am considering taking one term insurance as soon as possible (but ultimately I may continue the previous policy too because I have already paid good amount of premium).

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