#i dont know where they went
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only thing keeping me from killing myself oh so violently right now is strong sense of justice autism. yeah.
#“can't wear the ribbon if you're dead” or whatever the fuck it said#just let me go#i dont care all that much#theres nothing you can do to fix all that. i tried my thing and it just got trashed. there truly is nothing for us because no one even sees#it or cares#stay alive so i can buy narloxone one day and you can't put that on no safety plan#stay alive so i can do someone elses wound care#stay alive to kick a cop#its all shit#because ill never be able to do it#got my insides ripped out#i dont know where they went#i don't know who this is#its like they never wore off#half life of an eternity#because i was A person#or atleast closer to it#and I grasp onto the straws of before#cuttings never been the same after#my bodies never felt the same after#my bedroom is gone#and i was never here before#i dont know who this us#i don't know what they did to me#i must have forgotten something or those labels are all bullshit#lists of side effects and no one lists splitting into three and the third in a locker box to be drowned#i thought it was my dad#if he went back to being my dad itd be fixed but no#they did something to ME aswell as everyone else and my home
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i really miss my king cake baby collection
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Them, your honor
Anyways thank you echoes for giving poor a-ttp link a rest
#tloz#princess zelda#link#echoes of wisdom#echoes of wisdom spoilers#eow#art#my art#redesign#loz redesigns round 2#listen i dont know where based link came from i just thought it was funny how shocked everyone looked at the end of the game#i did originally have the flynn poster thing as a funny page option but everybody else has already done it now lol#you know she went to lueburry and link 2 minutes after the game and got herself another sweet cloak#i like to think stamps do indeed take off and its 98% zeldas fault#but yes zelda gets to be the protag of this game due to having an actual loving father#sorry wild zelda lol#but yes outfits are vaguely st-r wars inspired#idk if that comes through or not
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the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid
#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#the book of bill#tbob#young ford pines#turtlearts#also sorry i got the heights devastatingly wrong fidds is so damn short here im sorryyy#for the record i was thinking of when mcgucket and ford reunited at the end where he actually is much shorter and smaller so erm idk man#please dont be mad#also i KNOW this is not lore accurate or whatever and i made it so much more sappy (?) than how it actually went but my hobby is being sapp#so leave me alone <3#also i do love me a ford thats afraid of vulnerability so theres also that haha#my favorite thing to draw was the first panel of fids with the banjo and then the 2nd to last picture#everything else looks like shit sorry#but i haaadd to post it ok . i have nothing else so dont complain and eat up kids#also do NOT laugh at my piss poor comic skills. literally dont even i swear to god
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pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head
#senart#pvp civilization#pvp civ#I'LL MAKE A PROPER ONE I SWEARR I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MYSYSTEM FIRST#if it turns out he gets a bad ending in ep 6 i dont think i'll be ok like#he deserves a good ending . or a villain arc at least. he deserves to go batshit crazy after how everyone treated him#ALSOO the chekovs gun video journal device thing?? The excessive 4th wall breaking?#Is it just me or does jt feel like evbo is gonna lose his memory/already lost his memory and was sent to the wood sword lvl with tabi#or like . Idk?? It feels kind of truman show ish. Well maybe not that but its just the vibe im getting w the way that everyone has their-#-own secrets. How the diamond swords seems to know who evbo n tabi is. How princezam knows about the diamond swords#and then theres also parrot whos just?? Weird overall?? Idk whats going on w him but i need to know his backstory wdym u think evbo will-#-hate you if he knows what you did??#ANYWAY BACK TO THE VIDEO JOURNAL AND POTENTIAL MEMORY LOSS.#I dont want jt to go that way (mostly bc i dont want to see evbo suffer more than he already did) but it rlly does seem like its heading to#that direction w the way that it also has become a way to narrate what he went through (ie when the ep shows his attempts to beat the-#gold sword lvl but hes narrating it from the future. from his video journal. where he already beat the lvl)#im going insane#Wait also what i meant by the truman show vibe in relation to the excessive 4th wall breaks it makes it sound like pvp civ is just a -#simulation#wait i just remembered its the matrix not that mb umm#anyways.#empty chattering
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stardew 1.6 secret cutscene
#stardew valley#stardew valley spoilers#sdv spoilers#sdv#mister qi#thats my farmer on the right…..hehe#if you’re ok with spoilers for the 1.6 update and dont know what this is. they added an alternate version of the perfection cutscene#where if you reach the summit using exploits instead of doing it Correctly. mister qi lectures you in the middle of a glitching hellscape#and then physically attacks you and you wake up in harvey’s clinic. and i have not stopped laughing about it#adn then making the meme made me laugh more because like this is implying he shoved you off the cliff. then went back down to wake you up#to beat you up again#which to me is something he would do. even if you are your grandpa’s grandkid
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old stickcatface doodle attaaacks
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#ava red#ava tsc#ava the second coming#ava yellow#ava blue#ava tco#ava the chosen one#i dont know where green went#i think the first image is liiike 3 or so months old? i dunno#theyre all are more than a month old at least#lilacsart
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junheca image that came to me in a dream. and by that i mean at. work this morning
#junheca#hecajun#which one is more popular to use... i dont actually know...#anyway maybe clownpiece also has a funny shirt in this scenario use your imaginations. give the baby a funny shirt in your head#moonsidedoodles#touhou#2023#height inspired by fanart i saw this morning of these 3 by frogsnake2001 on twitter where junko was like twice heca's height#i saw that and went oh my god. youre so right. why shouldnt she be the size of a building. shes so cool#hecatia lapislazuli#junko#clownpiece
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If I don't get top surgery within the next 42 months I'm gonna kill myself
#tw sui ideation#i dont even know where to start in missouri.#i dont even know where to get approval letters in this fucking state#much less 10k#i guess i should be thankful#i went from homeless to a 2 bed with my gf and 3 cats i should be patient#its just so hard seeing other trans dudes have supportive parents with supportive money in supportive states getting all their needs met#i just gotta lock in
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
—what was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.
“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.
he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.
“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”
“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.
“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings ― he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.🥩
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particularly inspired moment from ch 2 of mine and @sha-nwa‘s new enemies au fic call it even 🫶
#have you ever asked yourself 'how much could an enemies au ladynoir just be like regular ladynoir' well.#I have asked myself that question.#ch 2 battle u will always be famous to me#ml#miraculous ladybug#my art#ladynoir#ml fic rec#ml fics#mlb#ladybug#chat noir#also no i dont know where his baton went in the last frame. dont ask me thats not my business#ok time to pack for a 14 hour road trip I am embarking on in 4 hours
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I never get tired of drawing his face it's so fun
#ok i watched life sentence for elliot#WHAT WENT WRONG IN THE FINAL 20 MINS#i liked the concept i liked the characters where did it all go wrong#ive bothered everyone i know with how shocked i am at like every single thing that happened#it was worth it for the handful of cute moments but AT WHAT COST#whatever you do dont watch the last episode it was like a game of thrones finale#anyway back from a week break to draw more elliot bc im processing my life sentence binge watch#elliot knight#kyle gaz garrick#sorry for tagging it gaz but like.....hes got the full gaz look here even the navy jacket ok#nobody has to know......#i want the long hair gaz fans to watch sinbad too im begging but thats beside the point#my art#procreate#cw life sentence#wes charles
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#dnd#curse of strahd#rahadin#dnd rahadin#dnd art#artists on tumblr#dnd character#dungeons and dragons#drow elf#dnd drow#i am goncharoving my way out here guys#wanting to do art featuring our rahadin but we dont know anything about him so im filling out the gaps vaguely#peeking just a little into his wiki page with half my eye so i can confirm One Thing#i am fighting the hardest battle over here trying to not spoil anything from how the original lore went down#i learned my lesson not to search for anything bc the guys on reddit wont bother hiding imortant details from the title#i am still laughing..when i was like collecting and writing names together i stumbled upon the name vasili which i did not remember where#that came up so i went okay imma just search it and a piano dropped on me immediately#i am still torn between: this detail fucks im glad i know vs it would have been bonkers if i experienced the piano drop during session#plus the amount im on the cos tag this info is everywhere so there is no way around it anyway
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pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)
summary: he struggled to fall in love while you struggled to value your life the way you valued others, entire fic is inspired by one line from nandemonaiyo by macaroni empitsu
warnings: not suicidal acts but it is very selfless behaviour from the reader, reader does not exactly fear death, hoshina calls you "darling"
wc: 1500
Hoshina Soushirou struggled to fall in love, to accept that he was in love without feeling so terribly vulnerable, and you knew this. On the other hand, you struggled to value your own life the way you valued others, and he knew this. And surprisingly, or perhaps unfortunately, this combination pieced together your relationship far better than one would expect.
You were a platoon leader in the 3rd division, and you’ve been for quite a while now. You were good at what you did, bringing people together and livening up the mood when times got dark. Still, you were strong enough to not only get the job done, but also to cover for your officers when things got tough. While you enjoyed what you did, and took pride in the position you were given, you weren’t exactly fond of it anymore.
You were sick and tired of seeing your officers die, and the thought of them gone kept you up at night. Not to mention there was nothing could get rid of the guilt you felt when you had to inform their loved ones of their passing. Well, perhaps you didn’t have to inform them personally, but to you, it was the least you could do. But it hurt you so much, no matter the number of times you’ve gone through it through all these years. Even if it was inevitable considering your job, and even if it wasn’t something you had much control over, you just couldn’t get used to it— nor did you really want to. So a few years back, you had sworn that you’d protect your officers, even if it meant you’d lose your life. If risking your life was going to save theirs, there wasn’t even a need to hesitate, you’d do it every single time.
And Hoshina knew this. He knew you would and he also knew there was no stopping you at this point, because he agreed. He was the vice-captain of the 3rd division, he knew exactly how you felt and couldn’t agree more. He also knew that you took these passings to your heart. He knew the thoughts kept you up at night, and he knew just how much they broke your heart. So subconsciously, he tried not to get attached. He had locked up his feelings after a while and so he loved you a little— just a little. He was good at this too, because he naturally struggled to fall in love in the first place. He struggled to accept he was in love.
And as horrible as this sounded, you knew this and you wanted him to, because when it comes down to it, if you were to leave him behind, what you were doing would be no different. And that was the last thing you wanted to do— leave someone who loved you behind.
While this sounded like nothing more than a broken relationship, at the end of the day you were undeniably in love with him and he was as well— there was no doubting that. Although he didn't believe in being with someone while constantly on the brink of death, he still loved you and he still wished to be by your side, the same way you were absolutely in love with him. So this was just the way it was.
It was obvious whenever one of your officers passed, it was always all over your face. As soon as you walked into your shared unit, even if you put on a smile and laughed, he’d see it in your eyes right away. He’d sense it in the way you walked and the way you talked. The way you’d be a little zoned out, and sounded terribly exhausted.
Every time this happened, he made you a warm cup of tea and squeezed your cheeks as he gave you a warm kiss, and you’d realize that he caught on again. Today was one of those days again.
“It’s not your fault, darling,” he said. “You did everything you could, I know this. You know this.”
“Sorry, I don’t mean to mope around and ruin your day,” you said, and he shook his head. “I’m just a little tired of myself, for watching my coworkers who followed my lead and trusted my orders to just… die. Also, horribly ashamed to face their family— I could never apologize enough.”
“Yeah, that’s probably the hardest part,” he said.
“I know they don’t blame me, nor do they show how lost they are when they’re in front of me,” you said. “But when they’re alone, at night, they’ll start to think. It’s always harder for those left behind.”
“I won’t ever leave you behind,” he said as he kissed your forehead.
“Oh, don’t say that now,” you said. “When I’m gone you better not mope around. You're going to go find someone who won’t go dying on you any moment. You better not miss me.”
“Oh, don’t you say that. We’re not trying to jinx anything over here,” he said, flicking you on the forehead, which you quickly put your hand over. “Besides I’ll be fine. You know this.”
You did, and it made you smile. While even you thought it’d break your heart to hear the man you loved say he’d be fine without you, it was still a bit of a relief to you. This was okay.
“But really, you’d better not leave me behind,” you said.
“I would never,” he said.
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
He’d be lying if he said this didn’t break his heart a little, but he did find strange comfort in it. Or he used to at the very least. He had always been this way, it had always scared him to fall in love, to find someone important to him, and become someone important to someone. So being in a relationship came with a large sense of guilt for him, because he was never able to let go of himself and love, and he feared how unfair this was. But now, he could just love you a little, and detach himself from the rest. It was easier for him to do so.
It was supposedly, exactly what he wanted.
Yet, every time there was a mission he thought about you. He thought about whether you’d do something reckless today, or whether you’d come home injured. He prayed that none of your officers would be in danger, because he knew you’d be fine alone. He wished that you’d come home that night and scold him again for staying up too late or drinking coffee at 3 in the morning. He hoped that you’d laugh if he were to crack the stupid joke he came up with just now, and you’d make him laugh in the morning over some silly mistake you'd complain about.
He hoped that you wouldn’t leave him behind.
“Oh,” he said.
“What is it, Hoshina?” Okonogi asked.
“Sorry, nothing,” he said. “I’ll stop spacing out.”
“Rather unlike you, to be,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said. “I fear it is.”
It truly was rather unlike him to be hopelessly in love, and to know that he was. He was hopelessly in love with you.
This just wasn’t the right time to realize, because he had a horrifying number of kaiju to deal with in front of him. Each one of them separately would not have been a problem for him, but there were just so many— not to mention they were working together. He’d be fine though, because he promised he wouldn’t leave you behind, and who was he to be breaking a promise with you?
Soon after, Okonogi had made the decision to call people over to support him, and immediately you rushed over. You knew you had your platoon to be watching over and you weren’t the closest to him, but none of that mattered. If he was gone, you’d truly be nothing, even if that wasn’t the same for him with you.
Yet, by the time you had made it he had already neutralized every last kaiju.
“Soushirou!” you yelled, rushing over to him. He was so beaten up as he lay on the ground, absolutely still, it took everything in you to not think about the worst. Until he raised his arm to give you a weak thumbs up. “You absolute asshole. You promised you wouldn’t leave me behind.”
He smiled as you reached his side.
“You’ll be okay,” you said, sounding more like you were trying to convince yourself. “The ambulance is coming.”
“You know, I was thinking,” he said, and immediately you shot him a glare as if to warn him that this better be good if he’s wasting his breath on it.
But it was.
“Darling, I’d die if you left me behind.”
#hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#soshiro x reader#kaiju no. 8 x reader#kaiju no 8 x reader#kn8 x reader#hoshina#hoshina soshiro#i genuinely dont know where i was going with this#i started with “i just dont want you die before me” in nandemonaiyo#and i was like HOSHINA SOUSHIROU! and i pieced whatever this was together from literally that one line#except i think this wasnt pieced together at all. i just did something and hoped for thr best#also i feel like the direction this fic went is not for everyone#so i truly apologize#BUT THANK U SM FOR READING#I STILL HOPE YOU ENJOYED A LITTLE IF YOU READ#IT WAS TRULY SO MUCH BETTER WHEN IT WAS AN OUTLINE. I JUST COULDNT EXECUTE IT#OR PERHAPS IT WASNT AND IM JUST DELUSIONAL#i cannot tell if the tags just arent working or my tumblrs broken
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can't it even be more obvious thomas. why are you surprised that a sudrian historical site filled to the brim with armor and weaponry that dates back to the middle ages has old people afflicted with the gold dust working around the castle
#thomas the tank engine#thomas and friends#ttte glynn#ttte millie#ttte stephen#casa tidmouth#senjart#MORE OF LADY'S EXPERIMENTS GONE WRONG#WHO UP ULFSTEADING THEIR CASTLE#stuff for the kotr arc of casa tidmouth. now this is where gold dust has historical significance#going crazy right now. my friends are influencing me#I had 12 tabs opened just to draw young glynn's armor. they dont have plated armory in the 10th century!!!! only mails!!!!!!#(looking at you KOTR intro)#I remember reading some inputs on my 1k milestone poll and saw someone put ''the misery of growing old'' and honestly. Checks out#glynn's eyes are goldish brown because well. that's the perks of being the first bearer of the gold dust horrors#lady during 989 AD do not know anything about human thoughts and ethics and emotions. she was literally freestyling that!!!!!#Oh a wounded soldier on the verge of death. what if I *dumps 200 kg of gold dust on him* yeah that'll do the trick.#then she saw how glynn aged so so slowly and went Oh well I messed up. Good thing there are lots of other sudrians here#funny coincidence that young cstm glynn's helmet resembles canon glynn's funnel#I wanted to make millie's design resemble a tour guide more with her scarf and more stylish than usual tie#shes so pretty. I'm so proud of her design#(AND I REALIZED TOO LATE THAT HER TIE HAS THE COLORS OF THE FRENCH FLAG)#<--- said the guy who has beef with the french#stephen's crown is translated to a hat decor! was about to draw a top hat but whatever just imagine he has a collection of various hats#that he can put his crown on#also I want to give him that cool hip-with-the-kids I-am-still-young-at-heart energy#sir robert norramby is balling in the background.#hope you enjoy..... won't be able to draw as much from now on but I'm excited#also whos ready for old man yaoi........... 2!!!!!!
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nothing (besides everyone ignoring Orym's deal) has made me angrier than watching Dorian keep up this facade. Dorian Storm has always been a type of mask he's worn. At first he called himself a liar because of it. The happy go lucky bard was a way of escaping for him. He was escaping Brontë so he created Dorian. He didn't believe he was Dorian. Until the Crown Keepers made Dorian real. And for a while, he really believed he was Dorian. That he has this new family and new life and he could be who he truly wanted to be.
And then his brother came back and made his problems Dorian's problems. Until he had to put Brontë back on. Because even if the Crown Keepers + Cyrus called him Dorian, he was Brontë. He had to be who his brother thought he was.
When Cyrus dies, the thread to Brontë had snapped. He was going to see Orym, back to the Bells Hells, back to Dorian Storm. But the foundation of Dorian had shattered. Dorian was created in order to run from his place in life, family, Cyrus. Now he was gone. The Crown Keepers had fallen apart. His friends fell through his fingers and he couldn't do anything to stop it. He was once ready to side with a betrayer god for these people and now they're in the wind.
So Dorian shows back up to Bells Hella and he's completely broken. The foundation of both of his lives has been thoroughly rocked. No brother. No Crown Keepers. The two things that forged Dorian Storm. He wears that mask so fucking well. Because he still wants to believe in it. He said it live on stage that he should "believe his own backstory". The one he made up. The one where he was a bard.
He wants to be Dorian so bad. He spends all his money on Orym, he spins the bottle so he can kiss his friends, he flirts, he blushes and giggles at compliments. Exactly how Dorian would, should.
But he wears the gold of the heir. He has a festering animosity inside his chest. He doesn't sleep. He's thinner than he was. He doesn't sleep. He sicks abominations after their creators. He talks to God's without an ounce of self preservation, daring them to strike him down. He does not acknowledge them as they taunt him.
The god of beauty and magic calls him beautiful and he does not smile.
#silver sending stones#cr spoilers#cr 3 e 107#dorian storm#got carried away in both the post and the tags again#this was supposed to be an add on from those tags yesterday#but i went off the fucking rails so hard im gonna have to make another post#and listen.#i know people are ✨ multifaceted ✨#but i think its interesting to peel apart the layers of dorian storm.#because i do think all of this is just dorian.#like the rest of us he would not be here if not for his family. his brother. the crown keepers. bells hella.#he is informed by the things that happened in the past. none of these identities could have happened on their own#but if we're looking at the arch as a whole#theres the bronte era. the dorian era. and then era where they got very muddy. and the era now.#i dont feel like he's suddenly a secret third person now#but you know how we all look at the past versions of ourselves and wonder how theyd feel about us now?#dorian just has names for them#and because there was a mixing of both his lives i think dorian is having a hard time reconciling into one#he tries very hard to be both himselves#the man contains multitudes for sure#and idk i just keep picturing him as a little bronte. and exu dorian is smiling and singing with him. he tells him all about their friends#and current dorian looking at them. afraid to approach. afraid theyll ask about their future. afraid to tell them.#but theyd probably figure it out. hes wearing gold after all.
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