#i dont know what is happening in this show

[dirtyyoungthingg]

its been a long day. between school and extracurriculars, i am exhausted and stressed. i need a release. bad.

what better way to relieve my stress than fucking myself silly?

i walk into my bedroom, already smiling thanks to the plan my sweet little brain came up with. my smile drops when i realize you're sitting on my bed.

next to my toys.

"d-dad...--"

"what the fuck are these, hm?" you gesture to the two toys on the bed. i immediately shrink into myself, embarrassed.

"...dunno...."

"dont play dumb with me." you stand and grab a fistful of my hair, bringing my gaze up to meet yours. you glance back over at the toys. "do you even know how to use those?" nervously, i nod.

"i-i'm a big girl."

you can't help but smile a little. "yeah?" you throw me down onto the bed. "show dad. let me see you be a big girl, and maybe i'll let you keep these." i scramble onto my back, my heart pounding in my ears as i try to wrap my brain around whats happening.

my dad wants to watch me fuck myself.... my thighs squeeze together as you settle onto the foot of the bed. you tut at me and place your hands on my knees.

"don't be shy now. its nothing i havent seen before." your mind flashes back to our special bathtimes. how you loved catching glimpses of my sweet little pussy underneath the bubbles. how you'd use your special soap on me, as long as i didnt tell anyone.

"but dad--"

you spread my legs open suddenly, my skirt raising to show off my printed pink panties. "shut the fuck up. take those off." my face is flushed as i comply, sliding out of my panties. you grab them from me and bring them to your nose. "god... you always smell so good." i shiver at the cold air hitting my wet cunt. you set the panties down and reach to rub your thumb lightly against my sweet little pussy lips. your other hand moves to grab the first toy, a small bullet vibrator. you smile at it for a moment. "where'd you get this guy, huh?"

"th-the mall... one of the stores sells stuff like that in the back..." you turn it on, and a small but consistent buzzing sound fills the air. you raise your eyebrows as you click it back off.

"not bad." you press it into my hands. "go on. show me how you use it."

i feel dizzy, nervous. this is wrong, you shouldnt be making me do this. and yet, i'm so wet, and i was planning on playing with myself anyway... maybe its not so bad that dad's here.... i bite my lower lip as i turn the small vibe back on and begin to run it over my little pussy lips. a breath catches in my throat when i brush over my swollen clit. you take another deep breath from my panties as you watch, palming yourself through your pants. i press the vibe to my clit as i watch. "g-god... dad...."

"thaaaaat's right baby. just like that." you unbuckle your belt and pull your cock out, wrapping the soft pink fabric of my panties around the length of it as you begin to pump your cock with your fist. the sight is making me lightheaded with lust. i squirm as the vibrator presses harder onto my clit, letting out a moan. "good girl..."

you glance over at the other toy, a sizable dildo. you grab it with your other hand and look down at my glistening cunt. so small and sweet... "...can you even fit this in that sweet little hole, baby?"

i sheepishly look away, shaking my head no. "so-sometimes if i try i can get it halfway in, but it really hurts..." you can't help but laugh a little.

"you just need daddy's help, baby." you grab the vibrator and click it off. i can't help but whimper a little and squirm at the lack of touch. you smile. "turn over, raise that cute little ass up for me." i comply, rolling over onto my stomach and putting my ass up in the air. my skirt from school is still on, and you have to slide it up so you can get to my bare ass. yet another reminder that i'm your daughter, your baby... you shouldn't be doing this... and yet you continue.

you use the head of the dildo and lazily drag it over my opening, humming softly as you see the wetness that collects on the toy. "you're so wet... i'm sure we could fit this in if we tried. you're a big girl, right? thats why you have these toys?" i nod, too flustered to really speak.

"i-i'm a big girl..."

"that's right baby. you're a big girl. and that's why you're gonna take all of this, deep inside your sweet little kiddo cunt." you press the toy into me, slowly, working it in and out of my pussy bit by bit. my eyes screw shut as i whine. i'm still just so tight, so small... you bite your lower lip in concentration as you press the dildo even further inside me suddenly. i gasp and try to squirm away. it's too much, too deep...! i am met with a swift slap on my ass that makes me yelp and causes tears to spring from my eyes.

"ah-ah. that's enough of that, young lady." your tone is gruff, and makes me shudder inwardly. you manhandle me back into the proper position. "you wanted to be a big girl. owning these toys, fucking yourself with them. acting like such a whore. you're lucky this is how i'm choosing to correct this behavior." you smack the other cheek to punctuate your point. "i could've just thrown you down, raped you right here." you begin to thrust the dildo in and out of my cunt quickly, ignoring my pleas for you to stop. "coulda just taken everything ive ever wanted. your mouth, your pussy, your ass..."

i'm sobbing at this point as you relentlessly fuck me with the toy. "coulda treated you like the whore you are. traipsing around with those little skirts, those tiny tops that leave nothing to your father's imagination, much less anyone elses." you've driven the toy all the way into me at this point. i'm crying, my brain overloaded from pain and pleasure.

"t-too m-much--! p-please, stop!"

"shut the fuck up." you use your free hand to press my face into the pillows. "god, do you ever stop talking?" the toys pace is too much. you notice how much i'm clenching around it. "and look at that. you're close. you can't be having that bad of a time if you're that close to cumming while your dad plays with you how he sees fit." my cries are muffled by the pillows as i beg you over and over to stop, please god stop, it's too much.

"no, baby. i'm not gonna stop. not until you cum all over your special big girl toy for daddy. c'mon, i know you want to. you know you want to. cum for me. cum for dad."

and just like that, the dizzying feeling reaches its peak. i cum with the toy deep inside me, my sweet cries ringing out as i throw my head back. you slow your movements down until you stop.

"that's my girl." you slide the dildo out of my cunt. "i knew you could do it. and look at that! you took the whole thing! such a big girl for daddy, such a good girl."

i'm too much of a dazed mess to fight you off as you slide your pants down and position yourself over me. you line your cock up with my twitching cunt, humming softly.

"now i get to show you that you don't need those silly toys. all a girl needs is her father."

[kaivenom]

Hey same person who asked for OP DILF x MILF reader

How about them reacting to MILF reader having a kid? (Even funnier if it was like luffy or zoro lol)

OP DILFS dating a MILF who has a kid

Characters: Mihawk, Doflamingo, Crocodile, Smoker,Shanks.

A/N: Two things. First one: i love this, i really had a good time writing it, you have great ideas my dear anon. Second one: exams are finally oveeeer, so i would be trying to update more than usual to get all the requests out of the hoven for everyone.

Masterlist

Dracule Mihawk

After taking care of Zoro and Perona, he thinks that he is ready for everything.

One day you were both on the kitchen and he like ussual is reading paperwork.

"It looks like the new generation it's going strong, this kid seems a good swordsman." he shows you the picture.

"Drac, i think it's time for us to talk." he almsot felt fear for a moment, "that kid it's mine, not like you and Zoro, literally that is my son." his mind exploded, you never saw him that concerned.

"And when will you have said this to me?"

"I am telling you now... you know how difficult it's to date at our age, especcially being a woman who already has a kid?" he nodded and pushed you closer, "i planned on telling you soon, i just, didn't know how, i was expecting something like this to happen to have the oportunity to tell you.

"You are lucky i already have practice with that green haired boy... call him, we can set a dinner and i can meet him formally, maybe even bond?" you coudln't help but smile and kiss him.

Donquixote Doflamingo

He already has experience with children since he literally adopted a lot of them.

One day someone robbed on the royal treasure chamber of Dressrosa and he was furious, he was looking for you to help him relax.

"My dove, i need some of your assistance on my d..."

"And when i tell you i date someone your best idea it's to rob him? you are lucky i found you and your stupid friends before he did? and.... " you finally became aware of his presence, but his eyes were already glued to the teenager.

You grabbed your child by the collar of the shirt and went to the door, your previous angry look bacame softer seen how Doflamingo's eyebrows were frowning.

"This is my son... i called him to Dressrosa so you could finally meet him but he decided to 'prove you'... i dont know what was on his mind. I have the treasure located and coming back to the chamber."

"You have a child." Doflamingo looked at the verge of an aneurysm, gritting his teeth.

"I do, please, don't punish him... i thake the responsability." his lips curled in a strange smile, like he was trying to fake it.

"I am honored to meet your son, it's impressive to know how skilled he is, maybe he can join court..." clearly Doffy was having a hard time trying not to kill you son.

Sr. Crocodile

Experience 0, oblivious 100%

He was on his office, doing work and you appeared with your son.

"Croc..." he turned the chair and looked at you both, "dear, i told you i don't need more agents... i don't know how you contacted someone with such a high bounty but i don't need it." and he turned the chair again.

"This is my son..." Crocodile was thankfull for being backwards to you cause he choked on the cigar.

"Your what?"

"SIr Crocodile, i am (Y/N)'s son, i was hoping to meet you and bond a little, i wasn't expecting a job... but if you give it to me i am not going to complain."

"You already have a job as bounty hunter, don't try to take advantage of this." you poked your son's cheek under Crocodile's surprised look.

"I..." he cleared his throat, trying to sound serious and prepared, "pleasure to meet you child, i would have appreaciate it a warning."

"I warned you, i left a note on the fridge that said 'special meeting today, i have a surprise'" your son started to laugh.

"That sounded like a booty call, jajaja, maybe he was expecting you to come here in lingerie." you punched your son on the head to make him shut up.

"I can make a reserve on the restaurant we both like and i can know you better." he tried to sound profesional but your son was right, he tought you would give him a sexy surprise, not this.

Smoker

He was really tired of dealing with teenage pirates.

He spent the last week chasing and fighting agaisnt a new supernova, he was tired and just wants to get home to you.

"Hello love." he said while hanging his uniform, then he got to the living room and saw that same supernova playing cards with you, "i don't know what you are doing here bastard but you are not going to hurt my..."

"Relax old men, i was just paying a visit to my mother." Smoker got his mind reset.

"Smoker sweetie, this is my son."

"How couldn it be your son? you are a marine."

"Same happens with Garp, but he is a grandfather.... i think maybe this is a nice time for you two to meet." you were really nervous but tried to sound chill and smooth.

"Oh mother, we already know each other, thi sis the man that has been chasing me all week." the moment got worse every second and you wanted to hide, but you felt Smoker sat next to you and put his arm on your should, "noooo, cut the romantic things, i am going to throw up."

"Don't talk to us like that, yesterday i was furious that you were so childish but right now, i wont tolerate you talking to your mother or me with such a disrespectful tone." you had to hide a laugh, he clearly was getting his frustations out but at the same time trying to be nice. "so tell me, how can a son of a marine officer become a pirate?"

"Well..." and you knew that this would be a long night.

Akagami Shanks

Since Luffy and Uta, he was out of the parenting thing, for now.

You were sleeping and suddently canons started to burst on the ship, you got dressed and prepared to a new day at board.

"I am xxxxx, and i will defeat you, Red Head SHanks."

"On your dreams, child." canons were still bursting when you got on the ship and saw the attacker of the ship.

"Mom?" "Son?" you both said at the same time, Shanks mouth touched the ground.

"Come here you little prick, how could you blow the ship of your mother's fiancee."

"You are engaged? i didn't got the letter nor invitation, you don't love me or what? i know we don't live together anymore but..."

"I sent it yesterday, it should get to you in a couple of hours but... we took the covers of various newspapers, how could you not saw it?"

"You know i don't read that bullshit..." you both were yelling at each other from the ships, until Shanks decided to finally talk.

"And when i was going to know this?"

"Today!" he coudln't even talk, his mind was going to fast, another problematic child.

"Boy, stop blasting canons and get on the ship... i love your mother and i want to marry her, i can kill you."

"You are not going to kill me, i am going to defeat you."

"You can try, after the wedding and only if i am looking." you yelled at him and went to Shanks, "leave him, he is excited in reality to meet you."

"I must recompose myself, i must make him see i am a good stepfather."

[sheepispink]

i did it yall ✋🏽🙂‍↕️🤚🏽

hybrid! reader x tf141, but they’re nocturnal and ghost HATES it

As an owl hybrid, you harbored incredible hearing and used it to your advantage, along with your night vision. The only issue with this fact was that your animal side was nocturnal. Thankfully, you’d trained your human side to follow the schedule of a regular soldier back in your rookie days, but with more stressful missions coming about sometimes your hybrid side would peek through, giving you instinctual bouts of insomnia, of a sort. Naturally, this led to the captain introducing a curfew for the team, though actually designed for you.

Tonight, you couldnt get an ounce of sleep no mattter how many times you twisted or turned or even ruffled your feathers. It seemed near impossible, a feeling in your chest driving you with an insatiable need to explore and potentially hunt. Your wings spread as you stand, stretching out to their full size before relaxing. You often tucked them behind you, as it was more convenient but with the lack of people around it was more than normal to let them stretch for a bit. As you make your way to the common room, your bleary eyes finally readjust to the surroundings and you instantly notice the clink of a glass as it settles on the counter. Having now rubbed away the sleep in your eyes, you can faintly see the outline of a familiar mask, only the white bone marks showing despite your night vision.

He doesn’t bother waiting for your greeting, stepping out of the kitchen towards where you stand; your wings unintentionally form a curtain around your body— like a blanket almost. “You know the drill, back to bed, bird.” You mentally groan, rubbing your eyes with the heel of your palm. Of all the people to get caught awake by, the Lieutenant was by far the worst option. Not only was he practically the epitome of stoicism, but you’re convinced that he just has everything against you. Thankfully, it’s not in a ‘hybrids are disgusting creatures’ way, but more of ‘you’re a rookie and you need to be better’ way. After all, your training sessions with him are no joke. Despite that, you aren't particularly scared of him, despite the infamous reputation of the mask he wears. No, not when you know well that the Captain has far more authority over him— and over you too but that’s besides the point.

”But Lt…” You complain, flopping back on the small couch in the common room, intrigued by a packet of biscuits there. “You know I can't sleep, it’s not fair.” As expected, he doesnt take well to your excuses, only rolling his eyes up at you before snatching the biscuit pack. He places it on a higher shelf than usual, ensuring you can't have it. “Don’t care, go back to bed.” He tugs you easily off the couch, pushing you lightly towards the door.

“Aren't you awake too?”

“Do I get sleepy and grumpy during training?” You want to say yes, because you know damn well that he’s acted particularly grumpy once after getting minimal sleep. Then again, he is right about you getting annoyed during training. Regardless, even if you go back to bed, you won't be able to sleep anyways, the instinctual urge will probably just make you climb your walls. “I don't wanna just stare at the ceiling. C’mon, I just wanna walk around a bit. I won't stay up all night.”

He raises a brow at that, knowing damn well what happened last time he caught you up at this time and then he takes another step towards you, causing you to back up. “Told you, I dont care. Back to bed, now. Or i’ll carry you and duct tape you to your bed” He backs you against the door, but you’re desperate now and running on three hours of sleep. That also means you arent thinking sane in the slightest. And so, you cross your arms over your chest, a frown curving your lips.

“I’m telling Price on you.”

”You wouldnt dare.”

He stares at you, almost a challenging glare in his eyes and the bird inside you squirms, almost excited. It’s been a while since you’ve ruffled your feathers properly and this seems perfect. “Watch me.” You grin, and before he can react you’ve turned on your heel and dashed down the hallways. “You little—“

The heavy clacks of his boots start to pick up behind you, but you dont care, wings growing larger before spreading straight behind you in a way that’s almost streamlined. The height of these hallways are too low to fly, so you’ll have to rely on your legs for now. “Get back here—“ He’d growl if he was part animal too, but all he can do is grunt as you turn around another corner. He can see you rapidly approaching Price’s door now, almost barreling into the wood as you quickly knock. Awake as usual, Price calls you in and you turn at the last moment to flash him a cheeky grin before darting inside.

“You basta-“ He huffs as he stands in Price’s doorway, watching you sitting on the edge of his bed as you frown all innocently. “What the hell is going on here?”

He can only grumble, his hand grasping the door frame as Price frowns at him, clearly more amused than anything.

“He’s being mean to me— he wouldnt let me get a glass of water.”

Price looks back at you and then at Ghost, raising a brow at the man despite an amused look in his eyes. He clearly found the situation laughable and even Ghost couldnt retain his anger much longer. Still, he persisted, insistent on keeping the routine.

“They’re the one who's causing a racket. It’s way past their curfew! They should be asleep.”

He whisper shouts, eyes narrowed at his captain behind the surgical mask. Price just sighs, pushing the papers away; it was clearly time they all hit the hay. “You do realise that’s all our curfews? If they have to follow it, we do too. You shouldnt be up.”

“I dont care. They should be in bed—”

Price is about to laugh again when he hears a soft snore in the room, both of their gazes shifting to where you were behind Price’s swivel chair. You were still on the bed but now your lips were parted, hands in an almost starfish position as you laid on your back. His little chase with you had knocked the insomnia right out, leaving you snoring soundly beside Price until the sun shone once more.

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Gi-hun | SFW Alphabet | S1 + S2 | 

Warnings: S1 and S2 Gi-hun - He does NOT have a daughter on this - Sad!Gi-hun - Soft moments - grammar mistakes -

Template Credit

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

S1: He is so foward with it. Physical affection its a must for him. He loves to give you long hugs and kisses. Whenever he sees you he has a dumb sick smile on his face. He knows he is not perfect so he tries to compensate it with small gestures.

S2: He gets more reserved and does not smile as he used to. He still likes to hold you. In fact he needs to. Most nights he needs you in his arms to avoid nightmares. He gives short and small smiles to you. And gets more protective.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

S1: I see him becoming friends with anyone. As a best friend Gi-hun is someone who offers you a shoulder to cry, even if he has his own problems. He knows he is far from perfect and has lots of problems when it comes to gambling and debts, he would not want you to be near these two things. Maybe he will try to hide that from you so you dont think less of him.

But as I said, he is caring and does look out for you with the little things he has.

S2: More protective. He is afraid the ones from the game will come after him or the ones he loves and cares. And since you were there for him since the moment he got out from the games (yes even when he lived on the streets) he has you on high regard.

Cries to you about his mom's death and what happened during the games.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

S1: He LOVES them!! S1 Gi-hun its a softie and loves cuddles. He loves to have you besides him at the couch with your head on his chest. When in bed he likes to be the big spoon with you facing him or giving him your back. He will leave kisses all over you.

S2: Its more like a need. He needs to know he is safe from the games and that you are alive.

Nights are a most, he ends being the small spoon during them. Needing you to comfort him. Sometimes he cries in his sleep pulling you closer to him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

S1: No. He likes the relationship you two have but does not want to take the next step and get married with you. He feels like he does not deserve you and is afraid after his failed first marriage. He is also BAD at both, mostoy needing his mom's help to keep the aparment clean.

He asks how you put up with him a lot.

S2: Yes and No. Yes because he now knows just how fast things can go wrong and how fast he could lose you. Its not like he never thought of it before, he was just too scared. But now he does want it. At least legally so he can call you his. But also no, because he is afraid you will end being a target for the ones in charge of tha games.

He got a bit better at cleaning and cooking but its not that good at it. He does it because he needs a clean space so he can install all the different things he is using to track down The Salesman and the one behind the games.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

S1: Honestly? He may not do it. He is selfish and does want you to be with him. Even if he knows he is not good enoguh or has lots of problems

S2: Its going to break him but he may do it to protect you. Even if you beg him not to.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

S1: Kind of already answered but he most likely wont want to do it. Between debts and his first marriage...yeah he is not ready.

S2: If he feels like with it he may proyect you then yes. He also knows how fast life changes and ends so he wants to be with you like that.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

S1: 10/10 He is a SOFTIE on both aspects. Loves to hug you and kiss you, its not afraid of PDA and emotionally he is an open book. At least with how much he loves you and cares for you.

S2: He gets more secluded.  Emotionally he does not want to let you see his dark sides. His mind is quiet plagued with nightmares and sometimes he is afraid on what he could do. He wants you to know he still loves you. Physically he is more reserved too. He is afraid yes, but also needs you to ground himself. He may not hug you as much.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

S1: YES!! All the time and under any type of excuse. He just loves to feel you close to him.

S2: Less of a giver but willing to get them. May look like he does not want to them but one look at his eyes and you know how broken he is. A hug from you sometimes its the only thing that keeps him going.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

S1: He feels it but does not say it out loud till long time into the relationship. Maybe he is confused at first, his love evolves quickly something that scares him. In fact he may ignore you for a few days once he realizes it.

S2: Knows he loves you and tells you every single day. Does not play around with it. He wants you to know it. If I did not tell you before he went to the games then these are the first words he mutters to you the first time he sees you again.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

S1: Yes, but because he believes he is not good enoguh for you. Thinks one day you will find someone better or realize that he is not worth of your love.

When he is jealous he becomes quiet sad and closes himself. Its not like he is angry at you but rather at himself. You will need to sit him down for a long talk about it.

S2: Oh, he is but now its mixed with him being protective and possessive of you as well. Wants no one near you. Remember the people working for him ? Yes these are off limits from you. Jun-ho ? Also a big no.

In fact almost no one knows about you. He MIGHT tell Jun-ho about you since the Man is a police but thats it.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

S1: Quick pecks when he is running late, long ones when he is at home and has time. He likes to kiss your lips and cheecks and the same for him. He also gets red everytime you two kiss.

S2: Long and passionate ones, he puts all his feelings on it. Letting you know how much you mean to him. Ends with his forhead against yours.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

S1: He is fine with them but does not want them right now. He is happy with you and only you in his life.

S2: Same thing. Even less now. May have think of it at some point even during games but seeing how broken mentally he is now he does not feel ready for them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

S1: On work days mornings are rushed. Gi-hun tends to oversleep and ends with you waking him up and giving him a quick breakfast and kiss. On free days you two would stay in bed for long hours, sleeping, talking, such enjoying each others company.

S2: He barely sleeps, knows its morning because of a clock he has. Mornings and nights are the same to him.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

S1: He likes to sleep late. Usually because he ends seeing a program on the TV or drinking. Of course this makes mornings worse. When its a night without the worry of tomorrow then you two enjoy a movie together.

S2: Bad. He feels like his life its not his any longer and night time makes him feel worse. He needs you to be with him, you dont need to talk just be there for him.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

S1: He is pretty Open about himself. Talks a lot and fast, sometimes he will slap himself mentally because he told you something odd about himself without noticing. Its all in good heart, you just make hin so confused and happy!!

S2: If you two did not share a relationship in the past then he is a closed book and wont even try to date anyone.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

S1: With you he is quiet patient. Only when he is stressed or feels like all things are being too much he loses control.

S2: VERY. He knows he has changed and its a big thing to deal with. Does not expect you to be able to fully accept him at once or even beliving him.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

S1: Almost nothing. He may remember your favorite food but its lost with the rest. Most times its you who ends telling him that its a special date and he just goes "???".

S2: Too much focus on finding the ones from the games. But he now puts effort on remember things that makes you happy, trying to make up for when he would not even try.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

S1: When you two are alone and in silence. He loves to just be there with you. Simple things are good things to him.

S2: Pretty much the same. When he is able to relax and put his guard down and be with you. Even if its in a love hotel, he likes knowing he has you by his side.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

S1: Unless he knows you are being tormented by loan sharks (it opens up a big protective side on him, its able to even tells them to leave you alone), he is not that protective since he thinks you are safe. Would he like to be protected? Maybe, but wont tell you.

S2: PROTECTIVE MODE AT 100%. He trusts no one to be with you or close to you. If you can quit your job and be with him 24/7 then please do. He begs you to. If you say you dont want to then he will teach you to fight and manage guns, put a track on your phone and car if you use one.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

S1: Even if he does not remember much of when a centrain date is, he TRIES to make it good for you. Will use his little money to get you a small present and if he has no money for it would feel miserable. On everyday tasks he is lazy and would need for you to ask him or tell him to help around.

S2: He makes it up for how he used to be. Now that he has money gets you the most special things he can. Puts a stop for the days he wants to spent with you (even if you two are only in the love hotel). Helps more with daily tasks and even offers to do all himself.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

S1: Lazy, likes to get drunk, gambles, its lowkey a kid sometimes.

S2: More secretive, a bit cold sometimes, emotionally distant from time to time.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

S1: Could not care less. He has clothes on ? Then its good. Only when meeting up with you would he try and put more effort. Takes care of his hair since he knows you like it a lot.

S2: Same as before. He is more clean becuase he has the ways too. And dress better because he can buy New clothes but its also a show of how he has changed. Knows you miss his curly hair.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

S1: YES. He considers you a very important part of his life, if you break up with him then he would be really sad.

S2: MORE YES. Dont even leave him please. He needs someone. He knows you would be safer without him but he is selfish and wants you by his side.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

S1: Falls fast and hard. Its not like he believes in love at first sight...well maybe he does. He is a mess when he is in love. Blushes a lot around you, messes up whatever he is going to do. But is also very caring!!

S2: Its so protective of you. And also you are the only one who he lets in. No one can pass the walls he has made to be safe.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

S1: Someone who is just plain rude and violent. Someone who has no morals.

S2: After the games ? Someone who uses others for their own fun or just uses others and is abusive.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

S1: BAD. He loves to stay awake till later hours of the night. And prefers naps over a healthy sleep habit.

S2: WORSE. He sleeps when his body demands him to. And even with that he only gets four hours at max.

[alternating-b-w]

a lot of people nowadays, when consuming media, do not have the ability to adjust their mindset and expectations on what should happen to the actual events of the story. people expect found family partially because they lack emotional immaturity or life experience.

i don't want to sound like a snob, but the popular fiction landscape is dominated nowadays by fanfiction or wannabe fanfiction- genre fiction that labels itself with ao3 tropes. you know the sort: cozy fiction, brandon sanderson type stuff, or honestly? if i see an anime genre in a native english language novel, like magical girls or mecha, i run. they are best suited to visual media for a reason. this is my personal opinion, so don't jump me for this, but these works don't tend to deal with emotional matters in a complex, subtle matter. when there is a romance story, you get a character who says "i hate this guy, he's kind of cute- i mean a BITCH." when someone suffers, their response is measured or defined in what angst trope do they respond with. they are cut and paste characters designed for emotional gratification, behaving relatively similar across the board regardless of how someone about the same age, gender and in the circumstances as those characters would behave. i could further go on about how how this in part stems from not really examining the culture and mannerisms of the opposite sex (and yes, i used the word sex, because it's important to analyse gendered socialisation when understanding how someone relates to their gender in present, cis or trans) to oneself when writing, but i digress. my main point is that the anime community tends to be bedfellows with those sorts of literature fans.

meanwhile, golden kamuy doesn't really have stock characters, aside from maybe shiraishi.

for example, sugimoto's a wanderer with ptsd, but there's no mystique or affected melancholy to his trauma, i.e. no real whump-bait. a less thoughtful writer would stop the brakes on the story midway to kick in the ye olde 1900s japanese therapy-speak and have him solve his issues that way, or have him cry and open up about his trauma regardless of him not being the sort of person to do that.

likewise, tsurumi's a manipulator, but he isn't a mustache twirler or a ragyo kiryuin clone- he's eccentric, charming and makes his men feel they owe him without him ever holding it over them. the actions he takes in the story create a logical conclusion of his men being loyal to him. a lesser author would have created a character who is a manipulator because they said so, even if in real life the character's men would all actually scared of him or would probably be offput by him trying to overstep their boundaries.

then, there are the characters who are 'useless', but are still present such as kadokura, kirawus, or vasily. we understand their emotional states, but equally that the main cast dont want or need to be their best friends; this making everyone feel real because it shows where the main casts priorities lie! kado and kira were certainly aware theyre werent pulling their weight compared to anji or ushiyama, but they didnt really give a fuck because kadokura had already did hijikata a massive solid with the prison break-in. meanwhile, vasily can't even speak japanese and followed sugimoto's group for the sole purpose of jumping ogata. he wasn't there to make friends and the story's not, at its core, about making friends, so why on earth would vasily end up being friends with sugimoto? gk respects every single character's agency and motivations more than making the reader feel warm and fuzzy.

however, when one doesnt think critically about characters and how their circumstances should impact them, it's easy for one to default to the mental comfort zone: tropes. likewise, when one doesn't spend much time in a highly competitive environment like the events of gk, they cant quite comprehend the fragile nature of the relationships made in those circumstances. so, to maximize emotional gratification, a somewhat friendly group now becomes a found family.

now the ogata issue starts when when the reality peeks through- ie, that every character bar asirpa has tried to kill each other at some point, the classic fanon 'fuck canon i do what i want' mindset kicks in. here's the thing- ogata is one of the only characters to which you really can't 'fuck canon' your way out of. even usami's quirky enough that you can easily box him in as the yandere sort, but ogata killed his mom, dad and brother over deep-seated daddy issues. it is very hard to defang the character into making him have the found-family appeal, especially as the story progressed and he went from weird quiet guy with sad backstory (which is still workable) to telling asirpa "do it pussy you won't." there is no way to turn ogata as we know him into an archetype fit for emotional gratification without removing a lot of what makes ogata ogata, as he would rather kill himself than show emotional vulnerability or change his mindset, so he becomes the odd one out when talking about the different groups in gk. thats what i think.

I mean... I am a person without a lot of attachments. I don't have a lot of trust in people, and I generally view people as simply everybody on their own path.

So then when I read other people's interpretations of gk, I'm often confused because I don't really understand where they're coming from.

For example, the idea of loyalty seem to be really important to a lot of other fans. Ogata is interpreted by almost everyone as a untrustworthy, with no loyalties.

But I don't understand why anyone in this story needs to have loyalties or why loyalty is even a good thing.

Everybody has completely different motivations and wants.

Tsurumi wants to split off a piece of the military, and use it to regain territory in Russia Where his wife and child are buried.

Hijikata says that he is looking to revive the Republic of Ezo, but actually he doesn't have the resources, or the time to do that so really he's looking for one last great battle and to die under that banner rather than to set up and new independent political entity.

Shiraishi has no real goals and just likes his friends and would love to get some money out of it. He later takes on Boutarou's goal.

Ogata has no real concrete achievable goal and is looking for an abstract sense of worth.

Sugimoto also has no real concrete goal and is using the gold hunt to avoid confronting the fact that he really has no place to return to. He says he has to get the money before he returns to ume, but this is just a prerequisite he set for himself, to delay returning. Ume isn't waiting for him, has no idea that he's out trying to get the money for her, and doesn't even know if he's alive. Despite all of the importance that he places on returning to her, he is a non-entity in her life, in the same way that Ogata is a non-entity in his father's life. The similarities and differences between Ogata and sugimoto is best left for another post.

Asirpa...... is a 12-year-old girl and is still trying to make sense of the world.

Many of the soldiers don't have any goals of their their own other than following orders or impressing their commander. People like Inenaga, ushiyama don't really have any aspirations for the gold. They just seem to be along for the ride since they have map tattoos.

My point is....

These are all clearly people with individual and completely different goals, to which the gold is just a means to an end. So I don't understand why loyalty is considered important, in fact I don't understand why it's a thing at all.

So given that ..... I don't understand why Ogata is considered a disloyal betrayer....

When I read comments by other readers, it really feels like there's an expectation that these groups be a found family of sorts. A place of trust and loyalty where people support and mentor each other and it makes no sense to me.

Like that's something you expect from the military. Members of the military are supposed to be brothers in against a common enemy led by a father figure and it is explicitly pointed out that this is not the case.

People bully each other, sometimes severely. The father figure is self-interested and the only sees his men as pawns. There are shifting loyalties and factions with their own goals in the same unit. The military is not a family substitute. Gold hunt groups are not a family substitute. Even family do not present the kind of loyal loving support that people seem to expect.

So I just..... I straight up have no understanding of why Ogata is considered to be a betrayer, because I don't understand how loyalty is a thing here. I mean to me, the very concept of loyalty in this story seems to be a lie used to manipulate people seeking identity and belonging, and have them be willing to die for the group.

When I look around on forums and discussions it seems like most people do not share this interpretation. People interpret media and events is through the lens of their own experiences. And I actually keep wondering if I'm missing something huge. Like if other people interpret loyalty in a totally different more meaningful way, what are their experiences that support this belief?

Just Curious

TLDR: this is not a story about found family as much as you want it to be. Instead it's about each person finding a place for themselves....not everyone is looking for a family.

Edit: I guess this is sort of meta. The reason I have this interpretation because I have a long history of working for corporations, and despite the found family culture that they try to create and all the team building exercises, people are constantly gunning for each other, trying to get people fired, taking credit for other people's work, making people look bad in front of management to elevate their own status, trying to jump ship and go to other companies in the same industry with proprietary knowledge... so my take on this whole story is that..."this is simply how people operate."

Like I've been on team building exercises with the company where everybody an outdooring trip and bonds over canoeing, and then immediately the next day people get back to trying to get each other fired.

That's just how people are. People form connections over all sorts of things, but that doesn't mean that they aren't out for themselves or that the connection will always exist, or that the connection is deep or that the person is loyal to you.

[thescreaminghat]

just thinking about tf armada optimus after unicron is defeated (spoilers), when he's been battered by fighting and is now drifting aimlessly amidst the debris in space and comes across the matrix of leadership, the very symbol of authority and hope for the autobots---the symbol that he chose to discard before accepting a final fight with megatron---and how he resignedly says, "i dont deserve it".

like ig there's the interpretation that he somehow "stooped down" to megatron's level by engaging in the 1v1, but i dont really get that vibe, and it feels a little too simple, even for the often questionable dialogue choices for the eng dub. i dont get the impression that somehow optimus is now "bad" because he accepted megatron's challenge, because he's been fighting megatron for fucking 10 million years, and it's presented as a "necessary evil" even though the whole point with the minicons is that conflict and war and fighting is, probably, more of a harmful thing than a good one, because megatron's purpose is to control and exploit the minicons for his own ends (i.e. the series series is still a kids' show, meaning certain tropes, like "the good guys ultimately need to come out on top", are still going to be used even if moral complexities are explored).

rather, i get the sense that optimus's somewhat mournful/regretful rejection of the matrix comes from the fact that he didn't fully acknowledge all sides of him and never got the change to. despite the fact that his obsession with op clouds his judgment like 99% of the time, megs knows himself way too well---there was no way on god's green earth that he and op were going to hold hands and kumbaya and that's what he lived by his entire life. bro held onto an infatuation of the millennia but also held a level of animosity and craving that likely rivalled the level of forgiveness and generosity of primus himself. and megatron accepted this, accepted that he wanted to battle and feel in control and in the end, when the only thing he had left to prove was to his forever rival, that was all he wanted: one good fight and he would be at peace with the outcome of the entire universe (im counting what happens in tf energon as its own thing at this point, it's way too messy of a direct continuation of armada). imo megatron stayed true to his own feelings without the necessity of hamfisting a redemption arc, he went through notable growth (biggest example being his shift after starscream's death) but in the end, there were parts of him that were never going to change, so in a way, he saw his journey through to the end and made the choice to sacrifice himself for optimus because of that acceptance

in contrast, i get the sense that because optimus must constantly act as a figurehead to the autobots, he's not truly able to be 100% honest with what he wants, and who he is. not that there's any doubt that he truly believes in his mission, and that he hasn't been deceitful or dishonest, but i got the sense throughout the series that optimus keeps a lot to himself because he can't be anything less than the protector of the matrix (e.g. when starscream leaves the autobots, hotshot, furious and hurt at the betrayal, starts yelling at optimus and doubting why he made the choices that he did, op doesn't say anything. instead he just walks away, with this pained silence following him out the door, leaving scavenger to chew out hotshot for "disobeying orders"---which seemed kind of, idk, a weirdly ironfisted way (at least from the autobot side) to shut down some genuinely good and earnest questions. and that specific moment of tension never really gets resolved, because optimus sacrifices himself to, in a way, "make up" for his and starscream's mistake). why doesn't he defend himself? if he truly believed in starscream and the inherent goodness of all cybertronians then why not express that directly to hotshot with passion, with conviction, with acceptance of all aspects of his own beliefs?

ig what im trying to say is, being the bearer of the matrix seems to instil (at least to me) this sense of "purity" or "virtuous aloofness" in optimus, whether out of duty or a genuine belief in those qualities as being the ideal. so when optimus discards the matrix specifically to fight megatron, and subsequently tells himself that he "doesn't deserve" that symbol of leadership, i think what he is berating himself for is having enjoyed a fight just a little too much or at the wrong time, having chosen to do something that wouldn't have fit the mould he had held himself to. his first response to megatron's reminiscing about how their fight reminded him of the "good old days" is denial ("i can't say that i enjoyed it").

tldr my interpretation (definitely wrong) is that op has a lot of responsibility and it seems to create a kind but also distant version of him in armada; it feels like op is repressing a lot of who he is and the rejection of the matrix brings him into the daunting realization that yeah, maybe that was for the better. maybe it's ok to not deserve that honour. he'll have to accept that and live with it, but it's ok.

[criswritessometimes]

bluejay

content - reader and schlatt break up

author's note // hi everyone ! i had to remember how to be an art student again since I'm back at school. not really sure what happened with this one, i sat down and looked at my ideas on my docs sheet, put on some mellow music, and wrote the first angst of the blog. enjoy!

he put the last box in your car. you can only look at him as he pushes the box in. there was always a feeling this would happen. you weren’t sure if it was self-sabotage, but some of you always felt this way. it started on twitter when someone matched his michigan hoodie to a hoodie you wore in a recent video. the both of you were so good about covering your track. or you were for the last 2 years. you remember schlatt coming out of his office looking like he saw a ghost. he showed you his twitter feed, and it was so much worse than when he face revealed. you loved schlatt; you really, really did. but he has a tendency to get defensive really, really quickly. 

“we can’t.” he started getting choked up as he continued to scroll through his phone. it felt like everything was falling apart over and over again. your hands go to cover his as you take his phone away and put it in your pocket. his eyes hold a mixture of fear and sadness. schlatt knew what he needed and what he had to do, but he couldn’t. “hey, hey, look at my jay. it’s ok, everything’s gonna be ok.” your voice is gentle as you try and talk him off the ledge. he knew at the moment that it was over.

the next morning, he wasn’t in bed beside you; you don't even remember him coming to bed the night prior. Getting out of bed, you put your hoodie back on from its spot on the floor and make your way to your living room. schaltt is asleep on the couch with jambo sleeping on top of him. you smile to yourself; you didn't know this would be the last time you saw it. walking to the kitchen, you make a pot of coffee, and once it’s ready, you decide to drink it on the patio outside. schlatt wakes up from the sound of the patio door shut, unsure of where he is. his phone had fallen to the floor, dead from all the doomscrolling he had done last night. he didn’t care what people said about him; he grew the muttons for a reason. schlatt only cared what they said about you, and the only way he could protect you from the hate was to break up with you. he knew it was selfish and dumb, but it was the only solution he could think of. schlatt pets Jambo a few times before getting up. he puts jambo on the floor and picks up his phone to charge it in the kitchen. he glances over to the coffee pot and sees you left a mug out for him and kept the pot warm. it breaks his heart again. already trying not to cry, he walks across the room to the patio door. as he opens it, you smile sweetly at him. you were looking out at the backyard, looking for the bluejay that would come by at this time of day. 

“hi dear, did you sleep alright?” you asked, looking over to him and taking a sip of your coffee; the steam was still coming from it. he shuts the door and stands there. “um, not really (y/n).” it’s hard for him to look at you. you search for his eyes, for any insight on what is going on with him right now. “i think we should break up.” he says. you go stiff, your hands threatening to drop the mug. everything in you stills as he looks over at you. “w-why?” is all you can say. “it’s gonna be what’s best for you in the long run.” he murmurs. “i mean, do i get any say in this? a relationship has two people in it jay.” you can feel yourself starting to get angry. “i feel like i need to protect you from the people online, i dont want them to hurt you or do anything stupid to you.” he admits. the wind out of your sails is gone, the world feels still. all you can do is nod and hold back your tears. “alright, if you think that’s the best way forward then alright. we’re done.” you agree. with most of the men in your life, you had to learn that once they’ve decided, it’d be easier to switch the earth with the moon than try to get them to change their minds. tears start to fall as schlatt stands between your chair and the door. he had admitted to you before that he’s no shoulder to cry on, so you sit there silently crying as the both of you look out into the backyard. the bluejay lands on the bird feeder he got you last christmas. 

schlatt left the patio a few minutes later to give you space to work out any emotions you had. you were upset about him breaking up with you; that was a given, but you were more upset that he didn’t try to fight for it. you weren’t going to beg for him to, either. still, on the patio, you call your friend harley and tell her everything, and she tells you her guest room is free while you look for a new place. thank god she still lived two hours away. you thanked her one last time and told her when you were on the way to her place. you look down at your empty mug and then up one last time. you now know this will be the last time you'll see this view of the woods. you walk back into the house, and schlatt is sitting on the couch reading a book you got him last week. the door shuts, and he’s still invested in his book. “so, is this it?” you break the silence in the room, a quiver in your voice. his head turns to you, sitting up slightly, “i really did enjoy our time together. i really, really did.” he says back. you walk towards the kitchen to set your mug; well, it was his before you moved in. you set his mug into the sink and look down into it, seeing the bowls soaking with water from dinner you made together last night before looking back up at him. “it was good while it lasted. i’ll miss it, and you.” you turn to make your way back to the bedroom so you can’t see his reaction; you knew it would break you again.

he shuts your trunk as you are brought back to the current moment. last thursday keeps playing over and over and over in your head. schlatt helped you pack your things up, plates, utensils, towels, clothing, and nick-nacks. he had promised to help pay for your first four months of rent and send a truck out to deliver your desk to your new place. even at the end of things, he still cared very, very much for and about you. you were sure if you would ever feel that again. “thank you for the help with everything, packing wise.” you thanked him; it felt like your relationship was back to meeting each other for the first time. “it felt like the least i could do. everything will be better for us this way. i’m sorry it had to turn out this way.” he apologized again; it felt like the only thing he had done for the last 4 days. “schlatt,” you start shaking your head, “if you start apogizing again i’m gonna start crying and i need to get on the road to harley’s.” you check your watch as you walk up to him and embrace him one final time. he pulls away, holding onto your shoulders. “you kept me on a easy schedule, i knew what i was doing everyday.” he laughs. you chuckle a little. he had admitted that his sleep and work schedules were out of wack when you first started dating. “you’ll get into a new swing of things, make sure not to miss any meals and take care of yourself.” you tell him as you walk to the driver's side and put at the handle sitting into your car. he rolls his eyes jokingly as he watches you get into the car and shut the door, “yes, mom. i will be looking after myself with utmost care.” your car starts, and you push the button to put your window down. schlatt leans his arm against the window, “do you think we’ll ever even see each other again?” he asks. you sit and think for a moment, and your eyes meet his, “hopefully in the next life. good luck with everything jay, i’ll miss you.” you pull your window up before he has a chance to say anything. schlatt straightens his postures as he watches you pull out of his driveway and make a left turn. he watches your car until it goes over the first hill. he turns away from the road and returns to the house he once shared with you.

[panlight]

also continuing off the Informed Traits discussion, just how much of Caslisle's compassion/kindness is informed? Bella and Edward both make it seem like he's this saintly figure and pillar of goodness, but then there's moments where he does things that make you wonder if the view on him is just really rose-tinted.

Again, going back on BD where he invites his friends to witness and doesn't seem to care that they're hunting humans just outside forks/la push and let's them stay even after already knowing what their presence triggers the tribe to phase, the book also reveals that he took Jacob's blood sample to study without his consent?? Like a lab experiment???? (I learned this through a post showcasing that part in the book) Also in a podcast I listen to that discusses the plot of MS, he apparently fakes being Billy's distant relative (impersonating an indigenous person uhhmmm 😬) and, well,,,, lets just say I can see why some people think that entire phone call just gave colonizer vibes. AND!!! didn't he drug a woman to steal their car and kinda doesn't react much when they caused a massive car pileup??

On the one hand i dont mind if it's meant to show us that even Carlisle's sense of morality is flawed, but between Bella's "the Cullens are good to the core" and every time Edward talks about him in MS, it's feels more to me like another unreliable narrator trope.

This one is harder for me because, see, I want the compassion to be real because I think the concept of a vampire blessed/cursed with Super Compassion is legit fascinating! As I've said about 23470234 times, my favorite aspect of vampire stories is how they become a vampire, how you cope, the choices you make, what you accept and what you deny about your new reality. The idea that for this one guy, becoming a vampire made him even more compassionate is just the kind of twist on it that I've never seen anywhere else and I think it's really interesting, actually. A dud of a superpower, sure, but the innate push-pull of vampire instincts vs super compassion compels me, though.

But obviously I can see where it comes from that it could be an unreliable narrator thing or outright lie. Or at least a show vs tell problem where we're told he's compassionate but actions suggests otherwise.

I think it falls apart in two major ways:

The protagonist-centered morality. Everything in the story is about facilitating the E/B romance. Carlisle's alleged compassion can only help that, he can't hinder it. They HAVE to move back to Forks so the story can happen, he can't say "huh maybe it's NOT compassionate to move back to a place where people know what we are and are terrified of us." He can't refuse to drug the soccer mom because they have to save Bella! He can't object to having witnesses gather in Forks and force more teenage boys to phase and put humans at risk of being eaten because we have to save Renesmee! He can compassionately offer Bree surrender, but neither he nor Esme can do any more than that to try and save her, because that would complicate Bella's upcoming wedding. The Bella-centricity of it all sits like a supermassive black hole in the middle of the story, disrupting the orbits and bending the light of the other characters.

Carlisle can't be any more compassionate than his author, and that limits him. We had a fandom discussion about this a few years ago, but basically because SM doesn't see the problems with how the Quileute characters are treated in the story, none of the characters can, either. I remember calling it the moral version of how Alice is supposed to be a fashionista, but because SM doesn't really know anything about high fashion, there's a lot of 'tell' about her being this fashion icon but the actual show of clothes in the story doesn't live up to it. Or Carlisle himself -- he's supposed to be this genius doctor who has studied medicine and science for centuries, but SM isn't a doctor or a scientist, so some of the stuff she makes him say doesn't live up to the idea she planted. SM totally missed the settler-colonial stuff, the dehumanizing language, etc etc, so none of the characters, not even Compassionate Carlisle or Power-of-Heart Esme can.

tl;dr I like to think the compassion is real but hindered by the narrative insisting on prioritizing the love story AND Carlisle being unable to be more compassionate than his author. But that's because I WANT it to be real because I think the concept is really interesting, even if the execution is lacking. I don't need or want him to be Perfect or a Saint, and I'm sure existing as a VAMPIRE of all things would naturally come into conflict with compassion all the time (examples in the book is him not wanting to kill James and it leading to the extended hunt instead; offering surrender to Bree but knowing if he goes against the Volturi they could kill the whole family; telling Sam in BD that this isn't his fight and 'don't get your family slaughtered for pride,' even as Sam insists they have to be there for Jacob and Jacob has to be there for Nessie [blargh].) and that struggle and how he deals with it when he's in a situation with no Compassionate choice is available would be great. Even that car chase in Midnight Sun could maybe work if the story gave Carlisle any room to protest until Alice insists it's the Only Way!!!! or whatever, and some follow up where like oh huh weird some random charity swooped in to pay all the medical bills of everyone involved in the pile-up and bought them all new cars. If Edward, Jasper, etc can't turn off their gifts, Carlisle shouldn't be able to either, even when being forced into uncompassionate actions. But SM doesn't care. She only cares about Carlisle, let alone his compassion, inasmuch as she needed a kindly father figure to set up the vegetarian vampire thing and for Bella to have a convenient doctor.

[14th-century-verona-queer]

CORI WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I'M FUCKING TWEAKING

'IT WAS AFFECTION THAT HELD US TOGETHER' JUST SAY YOU WANNA FUCKING LEAP ON THAT HAMMER BOY BRO

CORI I'M GOING. TO DIE. WHY DOES HE KEEP CALLING HIM HIS PARTNER WHAT THE FUCK DUDE

BABES I KNOW. TRSUT ME I KNOW. HE WANTS THAT COOKIE SO FUCKING BAD DUDE 😭😭

THE WAY THAT VIKTOR LOOKS ST HIM SLL THE TIME LIKE HE LIT WANTS HIMMMMMMMM. AND JAYCE JD LIKE A HUGE PUPPY AND IS LIKE OMG MY PARTNER MY OARTNER MY PARTNER. ALL THIS MAN DOES ID TALK ABOUT VIKTOR. BRO PLEASE I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE JUST KISS AND FALL IN LOOOOOVE

LOWK I LOVE JAYCE SM. LIKE LATER IN THE SHOW K CAN KINDA SEE WHY SOME PPL DONT LIKE HIM. CAUSE LOWK. YEA. I GET IT. BUT IM A JAYCE TALIS APOLOGISER DOWN TO MY CORE. LIKE SORRY GUYS BUT HES JUST A LITTLE HIMBO. A BIG PUPPY. HOW CAN YOU LOOK AT HIM AND HOW ADORABLE HE IS AND HATE HIM??

ANYWAYS GOING ON A RANT SORRY

I HAVENT FINKSHED THE DHOW YET CAUSE I KNOW WHAY HAPPENS AND I DONT WANNA SEE ITTTT NEENS HELP MEEEE 😭😭

LIKE MY BABIES

UNRELATED BUT VIKTOR AND JAYCE PLS GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER THE PINING IS PAINFUL 😭😭😭

(SLIGHT SPOILER EARNING BELOW READ ST YOUR OWN RISK)

LIKE I GET THE MEL AND JAYCE STUFF YK CUTE BUT THERES THIS SCENE WHERE HES LOOK ST VIKTOR (who is like…naked..kinda…i guess) AND HED TALKING TO JIM LIKE OMG YOURE OKAY BLAH BLAH AND THE CAMERA IS PANNED TO VIKTOR’s WAIST AREA AND YOU CAN SEE JAVE JUST KEEP. GLANCING DOWN. BRO JUST SAY YALL ARE IN LOVE 😭😭😭

[plounce]

i dont know you but i want to say how sorry i am about your friend, and you are right, it is almost shocking how when something like that happens how far it reaches. my mom’s friend was supposed to be like my aunt but i have no memories of her because i was too young and she died same way as your friend. but i think about her often. no point to this i guess other than it is a particular grief and i’m so sorry.

thank you very much for your kindness and sympathies. i really feel you on this.

part of the "baby niece" reason for me is because i also know what it's like to be on that side of like... there was this person who loved you so much. but you don't remember them. so there's just the strange, unhappy knowledge, and all your family telling you that they loved you, but you just have this absence. and it's not fun, and it's sad. and i know my baby niece loves me so much. this afternoon on a video call she demanded we show our toes to each other and she smiled so so big, so happy to see me and my foot lol. i want her to always have the reality that i love her so much and that she loves me. i don't want her to have that conspicuous absence.

thank you for the message. it's appreciated. love to you, and your mother as well.

[hy4c1nthh]

hey. h.hey. what’s the hs keiji incident. hey.

well would YOU like to know...

okay I'll tell you

When keiji still lived in Otaru, life was pretty good. He had a wonderful girlfriend, he was happy with his self-expression, and well. yeah!! During this time, he joined a band. Some 2nd and 3rd years were putting up flyers for recruiting new members and keiji thought "why not give it a chance!". so he did!! and in the end, they chose him.

For lead singer.

Keiji is a pretty good singer, with a special knack for heavy rock songs. It was a rock band, so it fit perfectly. Their previous singer had graduated so they wanted someone new and fresh. Keiji was so surprised and so happy and he loved rehearsals and yeah they were a bit rough but god..he loved that enviroment. He loved feeling exhausted after practice he loved the feeling of pouring his heart and soul into a growl or scream he just loved it all.

Near spring/summer time, it was their first performance. Just around this time, Keiji's mom broke the news that they'll be moving to the shibuya region over the summer. This. this was a blow to him. But he couldn't think about that right now. Because that night was his performance and he couldn't let his emotions get to him. He wanted to hide away in his room but he couldn't. So he held through. Himeko came to the show, right in front of the stage at the venue.

It was time for them to go on. Keiji felt. off. But he still went on, holding the mic and grinning. The drums started to tap off, the guitars started to play, it was keiji's time to come in and-

-no sound came out.

He froze. He was frozen on stage. His hands were shaking. He could feel the stares of everyone at the venue, everyone behind him on stage, the voice of the lead guitarist chiding him. He panicked.

What an awful way to find out you have stage fright.

He never thought he would, he had always sung on stage as a kid, he was fine during rehearsal and hell, even during the audition! But with the weight of had been told to him earlier that day, and the sheer amount of eyes piercing into his body.

He ran off stage.

Himeko immediately ran after him, but not as quick as the other band mates.

The lead guitarist got hold of him first, grabbing him by the shirt and pushing him against the wall.

"Godamnit Keiji- what the fuck was that?!"

"I-I dont..know..urgh- let go of me asshole.."

"Jeez kid, and did you think before auditioning that you might be scared of preforming? or did you just waltz yourself up here to screw thing u-"

"Just shut the fuck up, okay?! I didn't fucking know that would happen, just let me go and leave me the hell alone"

"Don't you talk to me like that, Takatsuki. This'll only hurt you more than it hurts us. We can always just kick ya out and get someone new...but you'll always go on knowing you can't even preform right! You'll go on knowing you just screwed up THE BIGGEST SHOW WEVE HAD IN YEARS!"

"...f...fine. Kick me out, probably woulda left on my own anyways.."

He let keiji fall to the ground, before he got back up, narrowing his eyes at the rest of the band and running off. That's when himeko caught up to him.

"Kei- Keiji! There you are..I was so wor-"

"Leave me alone, Himeko."

"Keiji, honey...I'm not leaving you right now. Tell me what happened..it's okay..no one's upset at yo-"

"nono everyone is upset at me, okay? Fuuuucckkk..how pathetic am i?! haahaa..how did I screw up that bad?! You know it, it's true..don't lie to me."

"I would never, so stop yelling and jus-"

"I'm leaving..I. ughh...I'm moving away. I'll be gone by the mid of summer."

"...a...ah... when did you find ou-"

"this morning."

"...hm."

"...do you think...we can last long distance..?"

"...I...I don't know Keiji."

"...yeah. Yeah I uh.."

"..Keiji..?"

"...I think...it's better t..hm..I think.."

"..just say it, kei."

"...it's better to end it softly now..than messily later..isn't it.."

"..I said I wouldn't lie to you.."

"..alright..ehh..ehe...what a night..amiright..?"

"keiji..you dont have to-"

"I should..g..go home now. Ill...I'll see you, Himeko..."

"..ke-"

"..love you.."

"..I love you too."

Himeko and Keiji mutually decided to break things off- to avoid conflict in the future. They stayed close- more platonic partners if anything..but it was still weird. Keiji finished school, avoiding as many people as he could, shutting himself in his room every Sunday and skipping school at least once ot twice every week or two. or three.

Eventually he moved away, said goodbye to his friends...and of course Himeko.

He started off in his 2nd year of hs at kamikou...and immediately started a new life. He wanted to be someone else..so he did. He kept his old personality and habits but..no one here knew him! It was refreshing..but stressful of course.

One day he sees a boy practicing guitar alone after school...the rest is history :3

[rex-goes-silly]

first relisten of tma season 1 goes so hard omg (wife don't read this, its spoilers for you still)

all these statements i initially brushed off because i was too enthralled in the prentiss arc, who i forgot half of and didn't care to analyze and didn't really make sense and only listened to to get to the juicy character interactions, i can only now realize how much they were connected. you can tell exactly when jon starts becoming the archivist, you can tell when johnny had the fears set in place, all the fear talk, all the obvious hints at how it all worked and... it completely flew over my head until now. like wdym the weird tunnels with the goth guy that i didn't really understand where a physical embodiment of smirks 13???? wymd jane explicitly spoke about the corruption AND the beholding as we know it in her statement?? wdym someone actually held a ritual to kill gertrude in the woods and when she did die the dark also had a big moment??? wdym trevor and julia where the weird guys at the nursing home???? i forgot about ALL of this. it took me three seasons to grasp at what was going on and who was who, and missed out on so much.

and dont even get me started on constantly being aware of what the statements mean. how jon gradually acts them out more and more, how they affected who told them. how the repetitive wording and similar descriptions are just the eye's way of making them describe what happened. how they "casually" relate to whats happens in the previous one, showing up at just the right time. god I'm insane about this

[alchemicourtesy]

HEYEY! glad to see more people into vat7k!!! Would you mind sharing more of the insight n what your perceptions of the characters are? I saw your post about Hugo n Var as well as the involvement with Nuru in the tags and was wondering!!! No pressure ofc <3 also love your art it's REALLY AWESOME !

hi! thank you so much :] im rlly glad ur interested... as new as i am to this story and world i'm still ironing out my own opinions and headcanons and ideas so everything is in a rough place atm but i'd love to talk about what i Do have right now ^^

i'm sort of operating under the idea of what this would look like if it were a tv show rather than a comic only for the sake of structure and me being able to visualize it haha. doesnt mean anything beyond that.

i love the idea of there being 7 kingdoms, 7 alchemic laws, and 7 "lessons" for the characters to learn and id probably divide it through 3 seasons with the last season focusing on either 2 or 1 (heavy emphasis on what would be the "library arc") and allocating the extra "arcs" to s1. but anyways

mainly i like the idea of like. each of the group getting a chance to shine an equal amount. obviously they'd all have something to gain from every lesson but imo id put a particular emphasis on them all getting 2 each to hammer home their development and experiences. i havent ironed out who learns what and its not like...an exact science rn so thats a work in progress

nuru is interesting to me in particular bc i think theres a notable position she is in being a princess and wanting to be hands on. for her character particularly i feel like its important she be able to learn how to care for her subjects and hone the skills she needs for the responsibility she has but also allowing herself to understand herself as a person and an individual without having to sacrifice her duty to her people and her community. too many times i see in media where a character has this huge responsibility and they have to learn to care about and understand Themselves first and while thats important i feel like its not always possible or feasible and also it's hard. it's rlly hard to grapple with both of those things at the same time. and nuru being a princess she Wants to help her people. she Wants to have the responsibility to care for them but she still must learn what that will look like for her specifically and how she can be that person she wants to be without phoning it in or anything.

with yong i saw it was mentioned he has a huge loving family that supports him and wants to see him succeed, but he's just sort of wild and unpredictable in ways i think varian can relate to from when he was younger. there's nothing really "wrong" with yong, but he has to understand and learn balance and control where he struggles with it and that he can be the person he wants to be but there has to be instances where he takes his time and understands that progress isnt linear. which gives varian a good place to act as an older brother figure obviously bc thats shit he himself learned in tts lol

varian's arc Kind of began and ended in tts so i just see vat7k as a way of expanding on stuff he already has learned yet not rlly like. rehashing stuff he should already know

hugo is a little trickier for me bc i think there are a Lot of similarities he shares narratively with eugene (which makes sense given that he was said to have been acquainted with eugene in the past, at least somewhat). they're similar but they're not the Same, so i wouldnt want hugo to just be repeating the same beats that eugene already learned. in my opinion hugo is smug and he thinks somewhat highly of himself, but hes not a bragger. hes not snarky nor will he actively antagonize the group. what reason would he have to? he wants them to like and trust him and i dont rlly see that happening if hes always being a jerk to them haha.

thats all i got for now i think but feel free to ask me abt more stuff if ur interested : )

[allie-ggggay]

drops big ol hc list

chan takes birth control ( cuz of david.. side eying david), iron pills n anti depressants, she diesnt admit to being emo she tells ppl she takes it for shits n giggles (shes been given it by a professional doctor) OR tracy's like "ay want some drugs" n chans like free drugs hell yeah?? but its secretly anti depressants

vros got the worse insomnia and internalized homophobia so she'll just lay there at night being like "girls cant love girls girls cant love girls girls cant love girls GIRLS CANT LOVE GIRLS"

she havs hypersexuality cuz of david, kurt n ram cuz yeah theyre gross

she picks every scab she had, but she tries not to pick any on her face, hands or neck cuz she doesnt want them to be out there and stuff

she has so many freckles, most are on her face, chest and legs but a few more are on the rest of her body

she has stretch marks and absolutely HATES them but its ok riley im joy

shes not an elegant cryer she SOBS and her nose RUNS and her eyes get all red and PUFFY

she hates getting her hair touched and messed up, mac, roni n duke have to get permission from her, if they dont they get a hand to the cheek

she hates being alone sm if shes alone you just know she's calling one of the heathers

if she gets tired of walking she'll ask mac for a piggy back ride

when chan gets hurt that girl SHREIKS, like if she stubs her toe all ur gonna hear is "……aaAAAAAAAA-"

bros got religious trauma n stuff cuz her parents r religious asf n homophobic n like, say 'gay ppl r sinners' n shes like 'wait.. am i a sinner?' n cries

chan rlly struggled making friends as a kid because she thought no one would like her since her parents never came to events or really were ever seen by her peers and how she was still trying to mask her adhd but being a kid, she struggled with that stuff n only got popular when being mature was cool and she could mask better

chans rlly clingy with the heathers (a lot more if she dates any of them or ronnie) cuz her parents didnt rlly lile, give her hugs so she gotta get lots to fill in for the ones she didnt get as a child

tw sh/suicide implied ghost heather followed veronica everywhere, when she found out what happened to mcnamara, she cried to veronica the whole afternoon, sure they couldnt touch but heather floated right above veronica for comfort, she was upset with duke but she missed both of them

tw sorta parent neglect her parents never paid attention because they wanted a boy, not a girl, if it was a boy theyd show average yet minimal love but being a girl, she got the bare minimum, she felt unloved and like she wasnt good enough, she thought of being a boy to make them happy but they were transphobic and later on she found out she liked girls in a gay way so

tw sa mention she gets a couple bruises from david sometimes, but once she got a full on scar from him, her puffy curly hair hides it but she has a scar on the back of her head from him being a tad too rough

tw sa/r@p3 when chan was 14 she met david at that years prom, he was 17 and for her she was like "ok i think hes my age and dad wants me to have a bf so i should try" even tho she was crushing on a girl, he took her home and got her drunk to sa her but he like, said he was allowed to? and shes sorta gone back to drinking after to cope and stuff also she struggles taking and accepting compliments esp on things david would say things like (tw implied sa) "your hair is so sexy to pull" or "such pretty lips, taking me so well" she'd think someone complimenting those things would mean they were thinking the same he was and planned on doing the same, some ppl have exceptions like heather n heather

tw's over, she hides it a lot but she's slightly chubby but always wears something tight to conceal is, she rlly doesnt like her body but she forces herself to get over it anyway because people would get upset if the demon queen herself was insecure shes a TERRIBLE cook, she burns almost anything she makes somehow dont ask how she just does, something she likes doing is cooking but she jst cant without burning the whole kitchen down chan HATES her grandma cuz shes one of those rlly old christian asf people that nag and nag and whenever you go over shes extremely touchy, chans very picky on who she allows to touch her and her grandma is NOT pne of those people, if shes forced to go she just plays with her nans cat she acts all tough but she has really bad sensory issues (massive projection but shhhhh) the happy ending, david broke up with heather when she turned 18 because hes a creep like that and she finally decides to go to therapy after it all, she realizes she was hella groomed but shes still so scared of him and keeps his identity secret, she finally sees shes allowed to be gay and comes out to her friends only she squeaks/whines slightly when she stretches you cant convince me otherwise once after a party (n david touched her) she didnt bring her car so she walked to dukes house and threw up on her carpet, dukes mum was awake and helped take care of her just so she could go back to bed, chan had a killer hangover in the morning and cuddled with duke all day shes really bad at spelling like REALLY bad gets either C- or D- on her spelling/vocab tests she naturally has really soft skin/hands n loves holding heather and heathers hands and being complimented on it, but a massive downside is she bruises super easily, sometimes she'll wake up with random bruises and have no idea where they came from this ones just a random au but i think its really silly, chandler survived because they actually called 911 in time and they saved her, she is forced to go mute due to the drain cleaner damaging her vocal cords to no repair, shes now forced into therapy and gets the rest of the school year off to recover, she has a few bandages and plasters from falling through the glass table, some not needing to last long but a few turning into scars, she has constant throat pain and veronica feels really guilty, she tries making it up to her but chandler cant ever bring herself to forgive or talk to her, she SO wouldve snitched but jd threatened mac n dukes safety for her to stay quiet, shes struggling to cope n wishes she just did die so she didnt have this pain continuing on the earlier insomnia hc, if she can actually get herself to sleep she can get rlly bad nightmares and have no idea where they came from (AHEM PROJECTION AHEM AHEM) n some nights she'll call one of the heathers crying at like 2am and be like "heather i had a bad dream :(((" I HAVE SM MORE BUT I DONT WANNA MAKE U READ TOO MUCH

HAPPY LESBIAN COMING OUT DAY!! @heathermcnamara1989 @therealheatherc @ask-veronica-sawyerr @norwegian-in-the-boiler-room @ask-the-younger-sawyer @thx-tiniest-lifeb0at @unnamed-freshmen-official @westerbergs-therapist @heatherdukesblazer @stonxr-chick

EVERYONE SAY CONGRATULATIONS TO HEATHER CHANDLER FOR BEING A HUGE LESBIAN!

Drop by my house too we have cake and decorations and we’ll be crashing a remington party if Heather Chandler doesn’t come

[mo-ok]

Last episode the bad guy was called suicidenoid. This episode is a swim suit competition.

[bugcatcherkit]

Man that sure is a Situation where two 14 year olds push the limits of each other’s trauma responses until they both reach extreme breaking points. and then they deal with the aftermath basically all by themselves. Isn't that super awesome and totally not kinda fucked up at all.