#i dont know if its because it hits too close to home or im just mentally unstable or botH
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I've been crying the whole DAY. Look back is literally an ode to someone who loves to create, who works their ass off to improve at it and sometimes it just doesn't matter because they are still going to be people that will be better than you and then you think you don't love that much anyway, so why care to keep doing it at the end? You enjoy it better as an spectator, without all the trouble that comes with doing it yourself
Until you remember WHY you started loving in the first place, why despite the fact it takes time, it's stressful, makes you angry, makes you sad or even if people tells you that you should be doing something else... at the end, still makes you happy, still makes you find people who love the same thing as you and you made them happy too, still makes you feel that you can do something that comes from you and no one else can because it's You.
And if you worked so hard for it once, it was for a reason, and sometimes you just forget what it was, but doesn't mean it isn't there anymore. Because the past you, the now you and the future you, come from the same place and it deserves to be happy, and that's unique and it is something worth working for
#i just. i love this shit so much dude i have been crying like 20 hours.#i dont know if its because it hits too close to home or im just mentally unstable or botH#AAAAAAHHHH#look back#im so sorry for yapping so much about this its just i love writing and the inherent human love for creating something#I'm crying again
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Hot take here but...
Like I know this is Tumblr. This is the autism site.
So of course I knew everyone would side with Laios on this and empathize more with him but its driving me insane how everybodys saying Toshiro was completely on the wrong here and he should have communicated better and talked about his grievances with Laios WHEN THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS IS THEY WERE BOTH ON WRONG HERE.
LIKE THERES A REASON CHILCHUCK BRINGS UP HOW LAIOS SHOULD WORK ON HIS SOCIAL SKILLS A COUPLE OF EPISODES AGO/JUST BEFORE THIS HAPPENS?
like I know most of you don't like it but social cues ARE a part of society culture. Social cues ARE a form of communication.
In fact they were made to facilitate communication.
They were made so everytime Alice and Bob annoy each other they don't have to go and have a heart to heart when a simple gesture can have the same effect.
In fact sometimes better because sometimes addressing something with words makes it come out stronger/ruder than it is.
And sometimes just like you have problems understanding social cues some people have problems speaking, finding the way to words their thoughts/feelings correctly.
Specially among strangers where you don't know the others personality or how they could react to your words.
That's where social cues, that are general rules the majority of people have agreed on, work. To facilitate convivence.
And yeah there's an argument to be said about how you are supposed to know them if they are unspoken rules and the thing is YOU LEARN THEM THROUGH SOCIAL INTERACTION, through living in a society.
Just like gender norms and the like you don't learn them in school during a boring lecture where a professor lists them on the board. You learn them through interaction and repetition, throught observing your peers. Just like learning to talk and walk and other stuff. Heck, your parents and other adults around are supposed to ease you into it.
And yes, it's not a perfect system. But nothing is.
The saying 'communication is the key' doesn't refer to just talking.
Social cues and other non spoken gestures are also another form of communicating. Equally as valid as all the others
There's beauty in talking and openly expressing your love to someone. Or your grievances.
But there's also beauty in grabbing someones arm or the you picking up your friend is uncomfortable due to the turnup of their mouth or the way they stand.
One isn't superior to other. They are supposed to complement each other
Laios and Toshiros mistakes were relying completely in one or the other instead a compromising and finding a middle point.
Toshiro should have expressed his annoyance at Laios.
And Laios should have picked better Toshiros signs of discomfort.
(All of this isn't even taking into account how they come from different cultures and shock it comes with it because others have talked better about it and I wanted to focus on this. On how even if they have from the same background Laios should have also been a fault.
Hell not only social cues even talking is affected by ones cultural background. What for me is normal could come out as rude for someone in Japan)
#dungeon meshi#i was going to say more about how non spoken cues are another important form of comunication#and how theres beauty in it and why sometimes its preferred over easier ways like talking (THE JEST THE PLAY THE AMBIGUITY#THE IF YOU KNOW ME... ITS LIKE POETRY IN ACTION JUST LIKE WORDSPLAY)#but i lost the steam#also this hit too close to home and it made me realize why im angry at my friends so thank you laios and shuro for serving#as an external mechanism i could use to analyze the situation clearer#dont even dare try to assume whats going when whta im talking about takes years of context#also dont even dare to say im discriminating against autistic folk#me saying autistic folk should work on their social skills even though is difficult is the same as saying adhd should work on their#organizing skills even if its difficult because the consequences will still be there anyway and one must#hold themselves accountable og their actions even if they were cause by stuff we cant help
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venting sorry. i get emotional thinking of the media both me and my dad loved growing up and the father daughter bonds that were the highlights of those movies and tv shows to him and i feel like i failed
#my dad and i used to watch adventure time together and my dad LOVED simon and marcy and he learnt daddy why did you eat my fries on the#guitar and i used to sing it with him. and one time when i was 14 ish and severely depressed and anxious we had people over#and my dad was talking about adventure time lmao and was getting his guitar and wanted me to sing it with him and i just said NO.#because i was mad at him. and embarassed. and we never sung it together ever again. its been too long now. that window has closed.#but i wish we could#my relationships with my dad never really recovered after my teen years and its hard to talk to him.#i wish i could talk to him. we are really similar. in the bad ways too#vent#SORRY GUYS i need to find a therapist#my family just never talks abt their feelings. or when they do its when theyre angry. i dont feel like i can bring this up to them.#i just hate knowing i rejected my dad like that. he probably saw me not wanting to sing w him as very personal. not that hed ever say it#AND FUCKIN INTERSTELLAR me and my dad both loved interstellar at a time when i was -again- severely depressed and locking myself in my room#and the father and daughter go have scenes that feel very similar to things that were going on in my house at the time. where shes#baracading the door and not letting people in. it rly hit home is what im saying#and my dad loved the movie i loved it too but the family relationships in the movie were never discussed whenever we talked abt it#but for christmas one year my dad gave me a watch. like the one fuckin matthew mcconoughey give his daughter in the movie#and i wear it all the time. it makes me fuckin cry sometimes that stupid fucking watch. but it means so much.#i just wish hed talk abt his fucking feelings so i wouldnt need a watch to know my dad still loves me#also this post is about transitioning and my dad feeling like he lost that father daughter bond with me but we wont get into all that
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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drunk - Chris Sturniolo
summary: you show up to you, and your boyfriend chris's home drunk after a girls night out. chris has to take care of you in your interesting... state.
contains: fluff, mentions of alcohol, vague mentions of throwing up, crying, swearing.
a/n: i wanted to do a little mature chris fic because i dont see enough of that, i hope you guys like this!!
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tonight started as just me and 6 other friends at a club, before i left the house chris made it very clear i need to be home before midnight.
right now its 1:30 of the next morning, my friend grace is glued to my side as i cackle, watching her twerk on the dancefloor. i drag her to the bar, throwing back several more shots.
i'm not sure what time it is, or where the other 4 of my friends are but all i know is i should probably be getting home..
"graceee" i laugh, pulling out my phone and attempting to call an uber, all the text is jumbled. a girl walks by me, i grab her arm lightly and hand her my phone, "call me an uber please babe" i say to the girl, she smiles before handing my phone back shortly after,
"its coming in 10 minutes!!" she calls out over her shoulder as she walks away.
i drag grace out of the club as we laugh about nothing, the uber pulls up and we pile inside.
-
i stumble up the front porch of chris and i's house, swinging open the front door as it hits the wall with a bang, i let out a small laugh as my heels click against the wooden planks.
"chrissy!!" i yell out a stupid nickname, chris walks out from the bathroom, hes shirtless only wearing sweatpants, which sit dangerously low.
"where the fuck have you been!" chris says, his voice serious as he grips my wrist firmly.
"uh.. club? obviously," i say with an attitude.
"drop your tone, come with me." he says, pulling me down the corridor into his room.
"sit" chris says, dragging me over to the bed and gently placing me down on the end of his bed. he gets down on his knees and starts to undo the straps of my heels, pulling them off my feet. "ow christopher!! 'fuckin hurts." i whine, folding my arms
"do you know what time it is?" chris asks, "like 10pm? can you read a clock?" i reply with an eye roll, my tone slurred.
he stands up off his knees as he looks down at me on the bed, i look to the side, chris grabs my chin,
"look at me." he says, making me look up at him with the hand on my chin. he stares into my eyes,
i erupt into tears, "your mad at me and im really really sorry but i-.. i" i say as mascara starts to flow down my flushed cheeks.
chris shakes his head, closing his eyes "i'm not mad at you sweetheart." he says, picking me up off the bed and placing me on my feet,
"you wanna know what i think?" chris asks softly, i nod my head.
"i think you've had a bit too much to drink tonight, you think so too?" he says, putting my arms in the air and lifting my mini-dress up over my head,
he walks me over to his closet, pulling out a pair of my small pyjama shorts and one of his shirts, which pulls onto me.
"you look pale baby, do you feel sick?" chris says, speed-walking me into his bathroom to get off his carpet.
"yeah." i sniffle, he sits down next to the toilet on the cold marble tiles, he pulls me onto his lap where i stay on my knees.
all of the achohol i've had tonight exits my mouth into the toilet bowl, "there we are." chris says, stroking my hair as he holds it behind my head.
"good girl, your okay." he sighs, "at least all the shots are out now" he says, standing up and walking me over to the sink, leaning me over the sink and filling up his hands with water as a cup.
he pours it into my mouth with a small laugh, i swish it around before spitting it back into the sink.
"feeling a little better?" he asks, picking me up by my ass and taking me towards his bed.
"im sorry." i say, letting my head fall forward into his bare shoulder, "don't apologise, you throwing up all the drinks you've had is much better than keeping it in okay?"
i nod, he lays me down in bed before pulling the covers up over me. leaning over me as my eyelids grow heavy.
"chris.." i say quietly, my speech still slightly slurred, "yeah?" he replies "i'm sorry for being mean" i say, chris laughs,
"dont worry about it precious." he smiles, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my lips,
"chris!!! i've just been sick!" i say, pulling away.
#sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo imagine#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo x you
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ghost character analysis
tw: spoilers from ghost mw2 comics, nsfw, dead dove do not eat, mature content.
this is pretty much a part 2 to ghost headcanons except with more lore and analysis (im still not sure if reboot ghost has the same backstory as the og ghost).
ghost is not a cold, calculated, ruthless man. maybe in a separate au or something, but theres a huge difference between ghost and simon riley. in fact, we need to understand that the reason he even chose ghost as a new name for himself is because of all that's happened to him. his family got killed, he got tortured by roba, and had to eliminate many men on his own. before that he was simon, not ghost. in the comic he literally calls the child hostages he was saving ‘sweetheart’ and ‘love’. hes not that mean and cold yall
we know that PTSD does shit to it's victims, ghost lost his entire family and had no one. think of it as a coping mechanism to have a new name to be known as.
ghost is a ruthless killer. simon is just some guy.
ghost sets himself to an incredibly high standard of discipline. i think it's intuitive that military boys will need to be punctual and organized to some degree, but ghost takes this to a whole other level. considering his father's abusive behavior (explained by his disturbing statements said to simon, is a drug addict, and beats simons mom) his home life was likely chaotic as a child.
in the mw2: ghost comic (issue #3) it specifically stated the following: "discipline, precision, control. these are what riley built his whole life on. break those down and the dark stuff begins to ooze out..." again, this is probably a form of trauma response to his childhood.
so what does this lead to? well firstly, this probably means his room is incredibly tidy and organized (monotone design i know :,c).
would never in his life touch drugs. this is a promise he made to himself.
also kinda proves that ghost aint a reckless guy. he thinks things through before doing it.
ghost isn’t that hypersexual. theres no way of knowing his history with women, but i like to think ghost is not that horny 24/7 and needs a fuckbuddy. in the mw2 comic, he was on a mission and was in an area full of prostitutes (wasn’t actively on duty, but on his way) when they tried to hit on him he politely rejects one of them, and later tells them to fuck off😀 so yea contrary to popular belief i dont think he really enjoys one night stands or the idea of being entertained by random women. in fact, i hc he might actually be a virgin or just have a really low body count.
ghost is a feminist!😁 (misandrist too). ok let me reword that, ghost doesnt like men and respects women. one of the reasons why he doesn’t want to be around prostitutes and do one night stands (his father killed a hooker in front of him, very traumatic) is because he thinks the concept of quick, casual sex is not good for society and dilutes the value of meaningful relationships. but also, remember the discipline, precision, control thing? its apart of his principle. but also, in the comic, sparks (soldier he worked with) knocked out and attempted to rape a woman, ghosts literally looked disgusted and called the police (also why he’d never do that himself, i dont get the hcs that say he does). ghosts seen how his dad treated his mom and absolutely hates abusers. anyways onto misandry—i think ghost internally thinks men are violent and disgusting (ghosts would choose the bear over the man, even though hes a man) mainly because throughout his military career majority of the bad stuff hes seen was done by men, so hes much more relaxed in a room of women vs man. ghost thinks his dad is the epitome of pure evil (canon! he said this to his therapist). this doesn’t mean hes scared or hates all men tho!
ghost isn’t close with tf141… including soap. now before you attack me let me explain. sure, he trusts them to some degree, but i dont think they naturally just hangout when they’re not deployed. in the end we need to understand they are SAS soldiers, they are working a real job that mainly consists of them shooting and dismantling others. considering ghosts betrayal in the past (in the comic, a few soldiers ghost previously worked with killed his entire family 😢) he isn’t gonna just trust his teammates because theyre his teammates. im also pretty sure they all live in different cities while not deployed. tf141 probably all want to separate their job from their personal lives, which includes each other. but onto soap, i dont think him and ghost have a deep brotherly relationship. but i think they care about each other, but exchanging some dad jokes and bantering doesn’t mean they’re suddenly soulmates or brothers. think about it… you and you’re co worker joke around sometimes, never hangout outside of work, and now people are shipping you and calling the two of you besties. makes no sense.
ghost is extremely patriotic. in the comic (i reference this way too much but theres SOOO MUCH LORE i recommend reading it) ghost tells his teammates the reason for joining the military: queen and country, right after 9/11. he also said “the world has changed”. interestingly enough army enlistment did actually skyrocketed after 9/11 attacks, ghost was among them. he probably thought ww3 was about to happen, or that ‘theres no more peace’ or whatever. i hc being obsessed with soccer too lmao and getting mad if english teams dont win. also his playful banter with johnny “get us a tea?”. probably very proud of his british heritage.
ghost doesn’t have much friends. hes a really, reallyyyyy lonely guy. i hc him as an introvert in the first place, but trust issues make this worse. in the comic, he was literally in the newspaper for killing his family and then killing himself (he didnt, he was framed that way tho) so its likely most of his formers friends probably think hes dead. ghost likely got some sort of amnesty or exemption from the military after knowing he didn’t actually kill his family, but whats in the news stays true to the public. even if he does have friends he probably doesn’t share feelings with them or form a long term bond.
ghost is extremely cynical. this is obvious tbh, but i think ghost believes hes going to die in the middle of a battlefield, shot or stabbed, a painful death, body left to rot for weeks, and no one to remember him. just like that. and he accepts that fact too.
ghost isn’t a picky eater. growing up in an abusive household where his parents couldn’t hold a stable job, he had to eat what there was. some days he settles for cheap beans and toast and when people call him out for it, he tells em to fuck off😀
ghost is emotionally fucked up, probably kind of depressed. i mean this guys been through hell: got sa’d, buried alive, had to dig through underground dirt and worms with a jawbone, tortured in horrible ways, had his entire family killed, abusive dad, and the weight of his grey morales because he killed lots of people as a soldier. wow! would you look at that list, itd be more strange if he wasn’t emotionally fucked up after was has happened😅. even when tortured, seeing his family dead, ghost was never shown to have cried in the comic. i hc hes emotionally numb. however, i do think hes emotionally MATURE and able to communicate his emotions, but hes still emotionally fucked. for example a scene where he was talking about his experience with roba (guy who tortured ghost) and ghosts father to a therapist. i think ghosts may be traumatized, but this doesn’t stop him from attempting to get help and communicating how he feels and thinks about this world.
ghost wears a mask... not because hes insecure and traumatized it's to separate ghost from simon riley. first of all he learned the consequences of revealing your identity during deployment, in the comic, he reveals his face in missions before his family got killed. i think he wears a mask because 1) its practical, no one knows who he is, 2) an analogy for himself to remind him simon riley, his original identity, was dead the moment his family was murdered, this SAS soldier with a skull mask is GHOST (yes this is canon, ghost references in the comic!).
in issue #1 while some kids were being held hostage, he starts telling his life story to them to calm them down/distract them from the bad situation. this is his explanation to why he wears a skull mask, word by word: "I bet you're wondering why I wear these bones on my face. It's a tribute to an old friend of mine. He's dead now, but man if he wasn't the baddest motherfucker on the planet."
in issue #6, when ghost was trekking through a jungle in the middle of nowhere attempting to kill roba (a drug lord that started this all, brainwashed soldiers to kill ghosts family), he was never caught. ghost himself, the narrator, says that "even for a single man to get through the jungle, the patrols, the wall, the security... well that man would have to be a ghost."
however, im still a little confused whether or not reboot ghost and 2009 have the same backstories. reboot ghosts mask is more realistic and his look is much more intimidating, his reason for wearing that kind of mask is probably psychological warfare (getting milena the financier to speak up about makarov). i think 2009 ghosts reason to wearing a mask is more personal compared to reboot.
BUT WHAT ABOUT AN S/O???
i think ghost is the guy to not have one in the first place. obviously. but i lowkey think if he had one and really liked them, he would commit. in fact i find it hard to imagine hes a player or isn’t serious about relationships. when his brother tommy got addicted to drugs and fucked up his life, simon quit the military until tommy got 100% better and married. yup. he stayed to help him recover, for years. thats how loving and committed this man is🥹🥹.
ghost would not cheat on his s/o. i can't stress how important this hc is, because it's so out of character for him to do so. sure, guys in the military statistically have higher divorce rates, incidences of infidelity, and much more red flag stuff, but knowing what happened to him, he would never do that. doesn't matter how stressed, lonely, sexually frustrated this man is; he would not cheat on his partner. this guy has been through far more stressful situations and got through it, you think hes gonna cheat because hes stressed because of work?
its not sunshine and rainbows or absolute toxicity being with him. it's not really a mix of both either. ghost isn't that princess treatment, super squishy and cuddly, sweet guy who likes fluffy stuff. he definitely isn't the toxic guy who leaves you with mixed signals either.
hes quite the gentleman when it comes to approaching relationships, hes seen how his dad treated his mom, and ghost wants to do the exact opposite. i believe ghost likes to use the traditional courting methods when dating someone: gifting flowers, paying for dates, holding the door open (ladies first typa guy!!), the old fashioned stuff. idk if i should point it out again but this guy DOES NOT FW modern dating practices, he wouldn't download dating apps, or start 'talking stages'. i dont think he would write love letters just because hes not very good at writing poetry or expressing his feelings in the first place.
theres still downsides to being with him. the long distance, the time being apart (months and months). but i dont think he'd go as far as being emotionally avoidant.
also something really random ive noticed is that 2009 and reboot ghost are very different, personality wise. i like to think that 2009 ghost represents simon riley much better, but the reboot ghost actually gives the essence and character of what a 'ghost' in the military is.
more random headcanons:
simon prefers dogs over cats because dogs are loyal and stay with you until the end (stereotypically)
hates snakes and spiders
probably wouldn’t do 50/50 on dates, he pays!
avoids saying manchester slang when deployed
drinks and smokes. not always. he’s disciplined but he still does that stuff.. hes a british guy in his 30s whos kinda depressed, grew up with adults around him smoking 24/7, whatd you think😀😀 (its canon that most of tf141 smoke anyway)
listens to 80’s rock music. its canon that his mom enjoys the band siouxsie and the banshees :)), he probs does too
shaves his beard
is actually confident hes not bad looking. dude, hes 6’2, in shape with a jawline🙄
i don't enjoy hcs of ghost being the scariest out of tf141 (appearance wise yes). but soap seems much more scary imo, he was the youngest guy to pass SAS selections in the history of the UK military, and was nicknamed soap because of fast and good he is at cleaning up 'messes' (basically killing people).
id arguably say ghost is the most compassionate out of 141, if we're talking about the OG 2009 one.
#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#ghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#call of duty x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley#ghost call of duty#ghost x reader#modern warfare 2#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#call of duty ghosts#cod x reader#ghost headcanons#ghost mw2#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#ghost fanfiction#call of duty modern warfare#könig#konig#tf 141 x reader#tf 141#john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#character analysis
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Little Bit
Pairings: roommate!bucky x f!reader
NSFW/MDNI
Masterlist
Summary: Moving in with your bestfriend always seems like a great idea, until something inevitably breaks you apart. . .
He grabs my jaw, 'I fucking hate you.' He breathes, and I smile against his lips.
'No you don't.' I whisper, 'You love me.'
Word count: 2.7k
Warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, forced proximity, angsty rom-com vibes, praise (reader calls bucky good boy once), I love you's, choking, creampie, rough sex, pinv sex, semi-public masturbation, swearing.
A soft blue light shone through the windows, the neon sign across from us coloring every reachable piece of the flat a hue of blue.
Sitting on our shared couch, moved in just a week ago. I lay my head in my hands, I too was colored blue.
'How do we fix this?' He asks, sitting in the armchair across from me.
'Us?' I move my hands from my face to look at him with a faint smile, that doesnt quite reach my eyes. The light hitting him somehow fusing into purple, I turned my attention outside, searching for any type of red light.
'How, do we get rid of the flat. . .' He corrects me, forcefully shoving his finger into the coffee table, punctuating the words.
A tinge of sadness sinks it's teeth in me, moving to gnaw on the edges of my mind. Just a few hours ago, he'd still been my best friend. Since childhood, in fact. And now?
'We can't, you know that. We already signed the contract.' I sigh, 'Besides, neither of us have anywhere else to go. Or do I have to remind you?' Crossing my legs, I lean against the back of the couch, Meticulously searching for that red. Perhaps it was just the anger swelling inside him, pushing outward, seeping into his skin and tinting it red. Mixing with the cool of the blue, however, unsuccesfull in calming him.
He clenches his jaw, 'You, don't have anywhere to go.' He points an accusing finger at me, 'I- On the other hand–'
'–Have nowhere to go.' I finish his sentence for him, exhaling it in a whisper, 'We only have eachother now, ironically enough.' I flash my eyebrows upward, the words tasting bittersweet on my tongue.
Reality seems to set in as he too, leans backward and looks out through the window. Now seeming more lost than angry. Nonetheless, he blames me, for. . . what happened. I reach out for him, gracing his knee with the tips of my fingers–
But he pulls back, yanking his knee out of reach for my touch and faces away from me completley. Turning his head over his shoulder, I feel him retracting within himself, tugging all previous feelings and memories with him. He closes his eyes and exhales a shaky breath, 'Dont, I don't know you.' His voice was cold, 'You're nothing more than a roommate, a stranger im forced to share a home with.' Completley devoid of emotion.
My eyes stung with tears, and I hurry past him. Rushing upstairs to the loft, shutting myself in my bedroom.
That was a few weeks ago, the anger and sadness had settled. But in its wake, annoyance and spite had developed.
It felt very much like living with a sibling you hated dearly, a nemesis, your rival. Yet still loved, because of your ties.
'Just get out already!' I groan, stomping my foot into the floor from pure frustration. I felt like a child throwing a tantrum, but he just brought it out of me.
'I'm. Using. It.' He shouted, voice slightly muffled.
'For fu-' I stopped myself, but closed my eyes instead. Reminding myself to be the better person, 'I. Need. It.' I threw his punctuation back at him, 'I have to shower, youre making me late!' I shouted back through the door.
We both had a date, at the same time. Bucky was occupying the shower, it felt like he delayed just to make me late.
Eventually, the door opened and steam poured out of the opening. A cloud of buckys scents wafted in her face, and from it he emerged, with only a towel around his hips. With his bare upperbody on full display.
It's not like I hadn't seen him without a shirt before, but that had been as friends. Buy now that we weren't friends anymore. . . Well, I couldn't help but feel a little something.
He smiled smugly, 'Your turn.'
Oh how I wanted to scream at him, how could someone be so self-satisfied? I frantically gesture with my hands for him to move past me, and the second he did, I threw myself inside.
Finally, the water flooded down my body, every drop doing its duty in soothing an unwelcome ache. Stress and worry washing off of me, sliding into the drain, everything was perfect in this short, shielded time.
It would be over in a moment, when I rejoined the chaos that was my life.
But for now, my hand slipped downward. Quickly finding the source of my ache, and releaved it, rubbing it away in massaging circles. Doing my best to stifle my moans– When involuntarily, an image of Bucky popped up in my mind.
His towel around his hips, the low "V" on full display, his muscles rippling, torso stretching, showcasing his body and toned abs in all their glory. But what if those big hands had grabbed my waist, and pulled me close. What if he sank inside me, how heavenly it must feel. I bit my lip, my fingers moving faster. Realising too late that I was only spurring myself on, I came quickly, doing my best to stifle my moans. Toppling over, I leaned against the shower wall as I caught my breath. Praying I had been quiet enough.
When done, I hurried and dried myself off, then stepped out the shower a wrapped a towel around my torso. I took a quick look in the mirror, making sure that my actions were in no way visible on my face, then opened the door and re-entered the apartment.
The sun was just beginning to set, it was late in the day and the neon light had yet to come on. Golden light filled the apartment as–
Bucky fell onto the couch. . .
Almost looking like he'd jumped over the back of it.
I looked at him strangely, myself acting like I hadn't just touched myself to thoughts of him. 'You ok?' I asked, quirking an eyebrow.
He nodded, and grabbed a pillow, pressing it against his abdomen with an unreadable expression on his face, 'Mhm.' He hummed, 'Just fine, why would't I be?'
A violent urge to strangle him grabbed ahold of me, anger nipping at my skin, I was starting to tire of his passive-agressiveness. I inhaled through my nose, and exhaled through my mouth. Calming myself before I answered, 'You're right, how silly of me to ask. I don't even care.' and headed to my room.
What I did not see, was his eyes following me, lingering on my rosy cheeks and wet hair. Roaming over the bare parts of my skin, noting the way it was riddled with glistening water droplets. Nir had I seen, how he'd walked past the bathroom door earlier and somehow heard my moaning, or that he'd stayed and listened, intently. Sowly becoming more and more aroused. I did however, see a glimpse of him "smoothly" covering his tracks when I opened the door, the old run and jump maneuver. By some miracle, I didn't put the pieces together. Because I had not seen his erection either.
I put on my long, sleek, red satin dress.
It fell perfectly over my body, clinging to every curve. Paired with a pair of nude heels, my legs looked magnificent thorugh the slit too. I walked downstairs, expecting Bucky to make some snide remark, but he was nowhere to be found.
I figured I'd at least let him know im leaving. Presuming he was in his room, I approached it, and could indeed hear him inside.
But I wasnt to sure what to make of the sounds. My subconscious instics must've kicked in, because I reflexively took my heels off and snuck closer. Muffled grunts and slapping came from the other side of the door, they were, lewd almost, kind of like–
My jaw dropped. My name, I heard- I heard my name. He just moaned my name. Surely, this wasnt real, I scoffed internally. He was pranking me, right? Maybe it was an actress, or crush who shared my name? He was gonna open that door any second, jump out and tell me how stupid I was to think such a thing. Yet, something tightened inside me, a dull pulse flaring up.
There was a final groan, then the sound of a zipper. I blinked, frozen. Until I heard footsteps, and forced myself to snap out of it.
Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit! I quickly tiptoed over to the window, pretending to look outside. Realising I still had my heels in my hand, I had to alternate between putting them on and acting nonchalant.
The creaking sound of his door opening rang out behind me, and I yelped, my head whipping over my shoulder to look at him, taken completely off guard.
His eyes went wide as he met mine. His expression made it very clear that he'd expected me to be gone by now. 'Oh–' he clenched his jaw to keep it from falling. Rubbing the nape of his neck, he looked around nervously, 'Thought you'd gone.' He said, irritation lacing his tone, 'Since you were so stressed about being late and all.' He remarked, narrowing his eyes.
God, the gall on this man.
I put my other heel on, and turn around completley, 'Stress that you caused, you mean?' I pointed out, the final rays of sun warming my back as I looked at him, 'Dont worry, I'll leave you to it.' A giggle bubbled up in my throat. I had to suck on my bottom lip to stiffle it and hide my smile.
I turned on my heel and fled, not sticking around to see his reaction.
I couldn't keep him off my mind, surely it was not me he meant, I heard wrong. He hates me, for gods sake!
At that thought, my date picked me up, and the night was pretty uneventful from there. We had dinner and drinks, but something else was occupying my mind. I was just replaying the way my name sounded falling from Buckys lips, the way he breathed it, moaned it. My core ached at the memory.
My date no doubt thought me distant, but it couldnt be helped. I was desperate for the feeling of a man inside me, for bucky more specifically. So I laid my hand on top of my date's, 'How about we take this to my place?' I asked, smiling seductively.
Eagerly, he agrees.
Arriving back, we stumbled into the apartment. Kissing enthusiastically, as the colorful light had returned. Bathing us in a dark red light. Faintly, it illuminated our path upstairs as I grabbed his hand and pulled him to my room. We'd been too busy to notice Bucky, already standing in the kitchen.
Who hadn't had a very succesful date either, the only difference being that he did not bring her back to their place. He respected their home, but apparently she did not. A feeling of anger bubbled up inside him, but it felt different. Not like it had that first night of their fight, now, he almost felt threatened. He scoffed, surely not, noo–
The red switched to green, and his brain thought it before he himself came to the conclusion, was it. . . Jealousy? He furrowed his brows, disputing with his his mind. Never, he hates her gut. Hes been teasing and annoying her, because he hates her. Simple as that. Earlier, today was just a moment of weakness, a man doing his manly obligations. That was all, he told himself and looked outside, the green light poking fun at him. Calling him out in ways he did not appreciate, it was nauseating.
He had to talk to her, go up there and put a stop to it. This was his apartment too, he had a veto.
He marched firmly up the stairs, the green contrasting the red hot anger on his face as the sounds of laughing grew stronger. He reached for the door handle, when he heard their moaning.
Her moaning more specifially, the sound of skin against skin, of a creaking bed and the way it thumped against the wall. His mind blurred the sounds of the other guy, and instead focused on the sound of her, her labored breathing, her whimpering and mewling. Wishing he was that guy right now. He could've listened all day, but snapped out of it. Shaking his head as he realised the immorality of it. He couldnt just barge in on them, he'd tell the guy to fuck off the second they were done. He nodded, yeah. . . His hand fell to his side as he took a step back–
She moaned, so beautiful. Humming, 'Ooh, fuck, thats good bucky.' The words slipped from her lips befor she could stop them.
Buck froze, they all froze. Blinking, he did a dubbel take. Huh?. . . Huuuh?
'I'm, uhm–' She tried.
'What did you just call me?' The guy questioned, 'Is- is that your roommates name?' Dumnfounded, he pulled himself off of her.
Bucky couldnt believe what he was hearing, he snickered 'Holy f— shit.' Unable to controll himself, he burst into pure laughter as he ran down the stairs. Covering his mouth in the motion, spite pouring out of his ears. 'What a marvelous, marvelous day.' He declared openly, throwing himself on the couch, arms splayed over the back. Waiting for the next scene to unfold.
The man, clothes in hand came rushing down the stairs, and noticed Bucky watching him, 'You him?' He asked.
Nodding, 'Uh, huh.' Bucky hummed, confirming the mans suspicious as a cocky smile spread across his face.
'Fantastic.' The stranger hissed, and muttered under his breath. '. . .Some competition. . .' Then fled the apartment, throwing his clothes on in a hurry.
Bucky laughed, 'So good,' and sighed with content, shaking his head in disbelief.
A second later, I came bounding down the stairs, a sheet pulled around my body. 'Did he leave already?' I asked, sprinting to the door.
Grinning, he answered, 'That he did.' Slanting his head in observation as he took her disheveled appearance in.
I run my hands through my hair in frustration, 'Shit!' My head then snapping to Bucky as he's just sitting there, snickering and looking at me smugly. 'What?' I ask, but he only shrugs, smiling stupidly. 'Wipe that smile of your face, you big idiot.' I shout, 'Where's your date, huh?'
Flinching, hes taken aback 'I didn't bring her home! Its called common curtesy!' He shouts back. Both incredibly sucessfull in riling the other up, immediately getting kn eachothers nerves.
'You jealous or something?' I throw my hands in the air, laughing incredulously.
'I don't need to be, I heard you, you know.' He smirked, 'Up there.' Nodding to my bedroom. And my blood runs cold, embarrassment prickling my face. But I clear my throat, trying to control my emotions, 'You were listening?' I quirk an eyebrow, the corner of my lip tugging.
'Wha– of course not! He protests.
'No? Well, I did.' And now it's my turn to grin, 'I heard you, too. Earlier today.'
His veins freeze, 'I don't know, what you mean. . .' Bucky begins–
'Yes you do.' I saunter toward him, getting right in his face. 'Just admit it.' I hiss, humouring myself.
Grabbing my jaw, he breathes 'I fucking hate you.' But I smile against his lips. The neon sign turning pink, painting us both in its lovely rose colour.
'No, you don't.' I whisper, 'You love me.' And drop my sheet, stark naked underneath.
In a hurry, he crawls back on top of me, lining himself up with my core. Teasing, he slides his member up and down my folds, 'Fuck' I moan, and he slides in. Immidietly setting a gruesome pace, hitting my cervix with every thrust.
He looks at me with awe in his eyes, eyebrows furrowing. He lools teribbly pained, 'I do, I do love you.' He whimpers, as if the sight of me and the the truth he'd refused to accept hurt him.
In a clash, his lips met mine. Feverishly our mouths clash together, tongues waisting no time in tasting the other. His hands glide down my sides, until they grab my ass and he lifts me into his arms. I gasp and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling on his hair, making him grunt. He walks us into his bedroom, and throws me onto the bed with a yelp, then crawls on top of me. Kissing his way up my body until our mouths found their way back to eachother. I unbutton his shirt and unbuckle his belt, hastily pulling them both off of him. He sits back, and zips down his pants, kicking them off. His size was more than enough.
He groans in my ear, snaking his hand up to my throat and as he leans on the other. Nuzzling my face softly, his hand toghtens around my throat, lightly choking me as his hips slam into mine hard into mine.
My hands roam his back, sinking my nails into his skin whenever a particularly rough thrust sends a spirit breaking ache through my body. His lips trace their way down my jaw, specking it with kisses, whispering 'I love you.' In muffled moans against my skin.
I grin, and run my hands through his hair 'Good boy.' I whisper–
He whimpers, 'Fuck.'
The snap of his hips falter as the both of us are reaching our orgasm. He kisses his way down my throat, meanwhile adjusting his hold around it. 'I love you.' He mutters between every kiss, when he finally falls over the edge. His seed spilling inside of me as he does his best to keep thrusting, helping me to reach my own climax. With the chole of his hand, member inside me and his muffled I love you's. The knot tightens in my stumache, and I topple over too. How could I not?
'I love you too.' I whisper, and I feel him smile against my throat as he squeezes it one last time. 'Good, it was too hard to stay mad at you.'
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky imagine#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky#bucky smut#bucky x female reader#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky fanfiction#bucky imagjne#bucky barnes angst#bucky angst#enemies to lovers
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dealer!ellie x reader
(head cannons)
based on the song daddy issues by the neighborhood
A/n: Im writing this on my notes app, have never written before but i fear if i don’t write this it will never be written😅 currently going though a situation ship and im very touched starved so that is wear this is coming from‼️
Idc if minors read
please give me feedback even if its not the nicest it is really appreciated!!
TW: erm lesbians, reader having daddy issues, casual by chappell roan mentioned, crying, panic attacks, anxiety, reader sits on ellies lap, weed, lmk if i missed anything!! no use of y/n‼️
Dealer Ellie who met you at a party having panic attack
Dealer Ellie who brought you back to a random couch at the frat party and gave you free weed to calm you down while having a meaningful conversations
Dealer ellie who drove you home and got your phone number
Now anytime you have a panic attack or anything close to one, you call ellie and she comes over with free weed/ holds your hand and comforts you the whole time
“hey pretty girl” “there you go pretty”
when you smoke to much shes there to ground you
“its okay baby i got you, your safe with me”
Soon after you both catch feelings, not telling each other because you don’t want to ruin whats going on.
You call ellie one afternoon asking if she can come over, shes really busy but you dont need to know that and comes over.
you both end up confessing your feelings and make out on the couch, soon you both fall asleep in each others arms
by the end of that night you and ellie are bound by the hip (i think thats how the saying goes?? idk) ellie always with you in someway or some form.
Ellie soon finds out about your attachment issues and fear shes gonna leave you in some way, (hints daddy issues😅) but that fear is soon subsided by ellie and her always with and doting on you
at the beginning of you and ellies relationship, you tried not to get too comfortable but as soon as you do, you are clinging to ellie all the time.
(deals, in classes, restaurants, idk but always touching ellie and ellie always with or touching you in some way)
Getting with ellie didnt stop all your panic attacks or anxiety, when bad panic attacks would happen you would sit on ellies lap with a tv show playing in the background, ellie lighting a blunt, lightly placing it between your lips watching you inhale and exhale
Dealer ellie making that collage dealer bank, would take you shopping all the time.
no matter what your style, hyperfem, on the masculine side, or neither she would spoil the hell out of you.
You and ellie dont have sex untill about a month into the relationship, deciding to take it slow
You and ellie rarely ever got in fights, (you being sensitive also hints daddy issues😅) would cry when ellie raised her voice at you, not trying to be manipulative in the way that anytime you two get in disagreements you cry, but when she would yell, yes.
“ellie that girl was flirting with you i saw it”
“babe no she wasnt”
“ellie please just stop dealing to her”
“babe its my fucking job to deal what do you expect for a dealer in a collage campus not to get hit on?!”
when she heard sniffles her heart immediately dropped realizing that she yelled.
safe to say that girl never got another ounce of weed from ellie again.
i feel like all of ellies past relationships were just “casual” but with you it was very different!
Red wine supernova by chappell roan is definitely her favorite song on rise and fall of a midwest princess (but she relates to casual 😅 the most)
The first time she took you to meet joel you cried bc your dad cut you off once he found out you were gay , and especially not a dad like joel
one time when you amd ellie once woke up early enough to make breakfast before classes, you started a playlist on you phone
Naked in manhattan by chappell roan started playing, you started dancing and ellie soon followed hugging you from behind kissing your neck
Suggestive
at party’s when ellies dealing, you would always be perched on her lap, facing ellie, counting her freckles
Ellie being ellie is horny when shes high, you being you are emotional when high but that doesnt stop yall from having heated moments when both of yall are high.
i feel like ellie would have Lunch by billie eilish playing when shes high and that always leads to a long (fun) night
thanks for reading dykes‼️
#ellie x reader#dealer!ellie#ellie williams#ellie willams x reader#ellie tlou#ellie x you#Spotify#mean!ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader fluff
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PAIRING: kim minji x reader
GENRE: fluff, one shot
WORD COUNT: 1,014
WARNINGS: none<3
it was 9pm, minji sat on the couch in the living room, watching tv to pass the time. the sky was dark grey, a color which slowly turned even darker. the sound of raindrops hitting the window could faintly be heard. she looked curious out the window at the rain, now falling. as she continued to look outside, a loud rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance. she got up from the couch, deciding to go get herself a glass of water from the kitchen. she opened the cabinet and reached for a glass, filling it with water as she stood in the kitchen, listening to the rain. another rumble of thunder was heard, this time louder than the last. she glanced at the door, wondering if it would be a good idea to go outside and enjoy the rain…
suddenly, the doorbell rang throughout the apartament. she stood for a moment, unsure who would be at the door late at night. she places the glass on the counter, walking over the door. she opened the door, her eyes widening when she saw you standing in front of the door, your hair and clothes already soaking wet.
"y/n? what the hell are you doing here?" she says, grabbing you by the wrist and pulling you inside before closing the door. "come on in"
"i was on my way home when it started to rain. i didnt have an umbrella and i was already wet, as you can see, so i rang your doorbell hoping i could stay until the rain slows down a bit" you explained to her.
"oh, you should've called or text me, you know i would've picked you up instead of having you walking through rain like that!" she quickly grabbed a towel from the bathroom and handed it to you. "here, dry yourself off. i'll grab you some dry clothes. you can't stay in those, you'll catch a cold"
you nodded, taking the towel and beginning to dry your hair. minji disappeared down the hall for a moment, leaving you alone in the living room. the sound of the rain continued to beat against the window. the thunder rambled again. when minji returned, she had a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie in her hands.
"these should fit you" she said, offering a smile. "bathroom's just down the hall."
"thanks minji, i really appreciate this."
"i'm just glad you came here instead of staying out in the storm."
you headed to the bathroom to change. minji had always been there for you, no matter what. it was moments like these that made you realize how much she cared.
when you retunred to the living toom, minji was already sitting back on the couch, the tv still on, but muted now. she looked up as you entered, patting the spot next to her.
"feel better?" she asked as you sat down.
"much better." you replied with an undeniable smile. the warm clothes and the coziness atmoshpere of minji's apartment made you feel completely safe and relaxed.
"actually, i was thinking about going outside and enjoy the rain," minji said suddenly, after a moment of silence. "but… im glad i didnt, cause then i would have missed you…"
"you actually enjoy the rain?"
"yeah." minji nodded, with a small smile. "its soothing. but tonight, i dont need to go outside to feel that way.."
"why not?" you inquired.
"because i've got you," she said softly "that's all i need"
both of you sat quietly for a moment, the room dimly lit by the light of the tv. despire the storm raging outside, there was a sense of peace, like everything was exactly as it should be,
"minji, thanks for letting me stay"
"you never have to thank me. my door is always open for you, y/n. besides, i dont think the rain will stop anytime soon, so why not stay here for the night? we could watch a movie too, if you're not too tired."
"minji… really its ok, i dont want to-"
"no, y/n, please." she immediatly cuts you off and without even realizing, she starts holding onto your hand, not wanting you to leave "stay here with me." she said, looking at you with puppy eyes.
"hey, dont look at me with those eyes now… you know i cant say no that way" you say, cupping her face softly, running the thumb across her cheek as you look into her eyes.
minji was all smiles at the simple gesture, feeling warm and safe in your hand. "so, stay?" she asks.
"yes, i'll stay." you reassure her. minji was very excited to spend the night with you. you could see it on her face too. as she suggested, she put on a movie, brought a blanket and some extra pillows too, so you both could get more comfy on the couch. if that wasn't enough, she made some popcorn and you know nothing can beat the smell of hot popcorn, fresh out of the microwave. you couldnt help but smile at her enthusiasm as she fussed around making sure everything was just right. the atmosphere was perfect. the storm outside only added to the ambience, making the inisde feel like heaven.
as the movie began, minji rested her head on your shoulder. you could feel her hand resting gently on your thigh. the closeness was natural. you adjusted slightly, making sure the blanket covered you both and without thinking, you let your hand fall to caress her hair, feeling her strands slide between your fingers. it seemed as though time had stopped, the outisde world forgotten and only the two of you were left in that little bubble.
"y/n," minji spoke in a quiet tone. "im realy glad youre here tonight."
"me too, minji," you replied, your voice just as soft. "i wouldnt wanna be anywhere else."
you werent sure where this was going. the fact that you were there, spending a night that seemed like it was meant to be, was all that counted.
#minji#newjeans minji#kim minji#minji x reader#minji icons#minji nwjns#minji fluff#newjeans#newjeans fanfic#newjeans fluff#newjeans x reader#nwjns#kpop fluff#kpop imagines#kpop oneshots#kpop scenarios#kpop gg#kpop#fluff#one shot#girl group fluff#girl group imagines
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ok so. after a few rewatches, im just gonna list out what we got so far (is easier to remember written out yknow):
so ivory of course has a past, undisclosed so far, but at least she has experience Working, which. mixed with that detail that she went to whitepine with Nothing but the clothes she was given and something about "needing something stable" after being Found is... odd
she also seems to need permission to do things (even going for food), fears the anger of others and over-shots tasks given... and man, if that doesnt hit somewhere close to home—but she still has a will, that when she seems to want something she at least tries to act on, e.i: asking to go outside to see the garden, asking to play the piano even if she already seem to want to play it immediately after finding it. like i mentioned in other post; quiet in the outside, loud in the inside
and speaking of the piano and music because i just. really want to focus on it
most of the scenes in the trailer happened in the first episode, but two or three, specially: the last clip with her playing mountain ash as it's reprise. and you know, a reprise is usually used as an end or change in a story,
and i dont know... something about how the piano is positioned, making her back be the part of her to face the door
and did yall notice the first time Ivory plays the piano, is the normal version of mountain ash? is only one note, but is the same appearing at the end credits too
i really like the heaviness in it, and how slow is in comparation to the reprise... but it makes me wonder when exactly is going to change to the other version... like i mean, there was already a murder, and maybe this is just me overthinking the music, but to get to That speed on the reprise i feel like things may start being more familiar to ivory And piling up on the manor from here until then
and like many other pointed out, there's something about the trees, the outside, the windows. an odd focus to things surrounding whitepine, or the vastness of it. how... empty it is for the most part
and there's more things im pretty sure, and i myself definitely have Many more thoughts on this, only problem is that for now it seems i cant get them out of the tangle of everything in my brain. and who knows, maybe with a few more episodes they'll untangle themselves
as in, as a sentiment i'll say i cant wait for more, but at the same time i'll wait for as long as needed, because by gods this looks to be Really good, and good needs time (but i really cant wait for more music from ivory, if its not obvious <3)
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2, 7, 18 for kabru plz 🥺
i will apologize in advance i got like 5 of the most inconsistent hours of sleep so i dont know if i even make sense. More than i usually dont know LOL
2: favorite canon thing about this character
tldr: his trauma complexes and the way that drives his character
obligatory "autism" answer to be honest. no but in all seriousness kui is really really good at portraying people in accordance to their trauma/background and kabru is no different... being intimately familiar (married) to someone with ptsd, it makes kabru hit home in a lot of ways. i LOVE that he comes off as creepy to those that are close to him! i love his dissociative symptoms and his panicking. ive been doing (loose spare time) research on the correlations/potential causations of personality disorders and other trauma complexes (dissociative identity, ptsd, sometimes ocd, etc etc etc) that can arise specifically from the way people who are neurodivergent from birth are treated by others. i love the clear line from utaya (caused kabrus ptsd), his adoption (perfect circumstance for a knowledge seeker), his special interest, and his cluster b tendencies ("i have to mask, lie, or otherwise be dishonest to meet my physical/psychological needs. i have to yell to be heard by myself and others."). i think you can see from the way he reacts to going to milsirils family reunion that his interest in people isnt solely due to trauma-- that gathering has nothing to do with taking down dungeons. but it takes that path because the hole caused by kabrus trauma is a need that milsiril cant fulfill. so he has to do it himself. it is uniquely traumatizing to suffer from survivors guilt, specifically. HES JUST SO COOL!!!! <3 <3
of course im not saying like. Kabru Specifically Being Diagnosed With PTSD Is Canon because the term ptsd is a collection of traits that weve lumped together with one term that typically responds to the same set of treatment, but trauma is universal and ptsd is excellent shorthand for kabrus trauma responses!
7: something the fandom does with this character that you like
i love when he isnt portrayed as Knowing Everything. i love when hes portrayed like a little bit of a dumbass sometimes. i also really love the way a lot of people portray his dynamic with laios, especially when its kabru getting to experience his emotions in a relatively stable environment and laios is there to support him. ALSO i love that Kabru Marcille Friendship seems to be agreed upon
18: relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire
... i Mean. i dont mean to be TOO obvious but his relationship with laios... ouuughhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! FUN FACT! exposure therapy is actually like. HIGHLY effective for people with obsessive-compulsions, phobias, or other aversions!! this is not due to the simple fact of being exposed to it, however. kabru retraumatizes himself this way-- he risks his life for the uncontrolled exposure to the familiarity of his trauma. a big motivator for him is his survivors guilt. this isnt exposure therapy, its just exposure.
what makes exposure therapy effective is understanding. its understanding you wont get every disease if you dont wash your hands when youre compelled to, understanding not all spiders are dangerous and that we have an evolutionary fear response.
kabru is bad at recognizing his needs. he chases the need to understand monsters by resolving to adventure dungeons. he makes this decision as a kid. its like he knows he needs to understand monsters on some level, but no one else sees monsters as complex beings, no one gives the time of day to understanding them. so instead he interprets this motivation solely as a desire to end monsters and dungeons. upon his observation of laios though, seeing someone who doesnt act like everyone else, who is a really good leader regarding progress in the dungeon, its like he subconsciously chases his need to understand, while consciously seeing laios as concerning.
all this to say, i admire so much that laios can provide kabru a safe, human place to understand monsters, when hes ready. laios can expose him to the monstrous while preventing reckless, unprepared exposure. this story is so damn cool through my psychology special interest goggles lol...
honorary mentions: his relationship with rin. i admire rin, because dear fuck how do you make it through what she did and still speak at all let alone leave your room?? and their relationship i admire not because its crazy healthy or good for either of them but because it is a testament to their strength as people. i dont remember rn if any of their interactions as kids are shown but i presume kabru was just insanely kind and patient. you have to be to befriend someone so traumatized. their relationship kills me, because they clearly have a deep respect for each other, but rin probably has more emotional problems than kabru does regarding forging relationships. gwohhhh...
lastly, i like his minor relationship with toshiro lol its interesting how they seem to gravitate to each other if theyre both in a scene! and i really enjoy when kabru brutally talks sense into toshiro regarding falins revival. obviously, they dont have much interaction to go off of, but i like to think the combo of kabru being able to empathize so strongly with toshiro AND be honest about the situation at the same time are probably pretty refreshing for him, where he typically either gets minimal empathy and intense honesty from laios, or intense cognitive empathy-driven assumptions about what he wants or needs or how to interact with him. having someone who is genuinely adept at the mask and cognitive empathy out of his own choice, rather than social pressure, but also isnt scared to say it like it is... well itd do toshiro some good if they stay friends post canon imo!
#i like seeing this kind of stuff in maintags so ill put it there for anyone else i slurmpose#(suppose)#kabru of utaya#laios touden#rinsha fana#toshiro nakamoto#dungeon meshi#and me personal ones#laios#kabru#rin#shuro
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'Wicked games'
i got this idea bc of a sana edit.. god bless that editor
Smut, and maybe a bit angst??
cw: somno, getting drunk (the reader), kinda toxic sana??, virginity getting taken
not proofread bc i am very lazy rn...
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You've been friends with Sana for a long time now. Its weird how you two are friends, she is so popular, everyone loves her while you arent really popular.
She is always the talk of your college, its like in gossip girl, everyone is talking about her almost 24/7.
People are always wondering with who she is. She never told anybody about having a relationship, not even you know.
But maybe its better that you dont know it.
_______________________________________
You walk out of your literature class, talking with your new friend, momo. She just came here recently and you both grew close so fast.
"Hey, how about we go out today? You know, for dinner" momo asked you while smiling.
"So its a date?" you jokingly say.
"If you want it to be" she smiles, kissing your cheek and walking away to her next class.
The girl watching bites her lip. She cant let that happen.
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"And then she asked me out!!! can you believe that???" you said excitedly, sitting on Sana's bed.
"Im happy for you" Sana said, looking at her book.
"But are you sure she is the right one?" She asks, looking up to you since she is sitting on the floor.
"You know, she is new. What if she already does something with someone else? You cant trust her that easily"
You look at Sana confused,
"Come on Sana!!! Let me have so fun!" you look at the clock,
"Anyways, i gotta go, i need to get ready for my date" you say teasingly, taking your things and leaving sana's apartment.
"Oh trust me. You will have fun..." she mumbles while she watches you from her window.
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"And then she brought me home and she kissed me!!!!" you say, smiling like a little child while sana eats next to you in the cafeteria. Clenching her teeth.
"ill be back." she says, standing up and walking away.
You look after her confused, maybe she just needs to do something..
And she does.
She needs to do something against momo.
She needs to have you.
Since she is so popular, people would do anything for her. She can definetly use that, cant she...?
_______________________________________
You sigh as Sana shows you the pictures of a girl kissing momo.
"i thought she liked me" you say as Sana puts away her phone and caresses your back with her hand.
"I told you, dont trust her so easily.." She said, looking at you.
"Come on, dont be so sad. She isnt worth it." She puts her hand on your thigh.
"I feel so bad" you say, sighing again as you lean back and your back hits the bedframe of sanas bed.
"How about we go out? for drinks?" she says, smiling.
Of course, your innocent you doesnt think about the Consequences.
"Sure!"
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You didnt expect it to escalate so fast.
You and Sana went to the bar just around the corner, both of you wearing short and tight dresses.
You could feel some glances on your body, not knowing sana was always looking at you. Basically eyefucking you.
Oh she is so excited to have you later.
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"I love you sana you're the best friend i always needed" you say drunkily, hugging her as sana orders two shots.
She only drank one, while you had too many drinks.
"Come on, last one and then we go" she says, smiling as she hands you the shot glass.
"Cheers!!!" you drink it, it burns in your throat. You both stand up, walking out of the bar after sana paid, walking home to her apartment because she is so nice to let you sleep over.
"that was fun" you say, almost falling on the floor while taking off your shoes.
"it really was.." sana smirks, watching you as she leans against the doorframe of her bedroom.
"i feel so hot.." you say, your hand playing with the zipper of your dress that you can hardly reach.
"need some help?" sana asked. There is no difference if she would take it off now or later in bed right?
"yes please.." you slurr, walking to her. She unzips your dress, slowly, while her hot breath hits your bare neck.
You step out of the dress, taking it and putting it on the chair.
"im tired.." you say, jumping on the bed while only wearing your panties. Your cute panties sana absolutely adores..
"Hope you dont mind"
Of course sana wouldnt mind. she is enjoying this more than anyone.
She takes off her dress and sits down on the bed, only wearing a bra and her underwear.
"so tired..." you say, looking at sana as she smiles at you.
"its so hot in here.." you sigh.
"dont worry, it will go away soon." sana whispers, moving a strand of hair away from your face.
Your eyes close, slowly falling asleep.
"You're only mine.." she whispers as she slowly climbs on top of you.
"It worked.." she lets out a chuckle.
She starts kissing your neck, softly. Leaving a trail of wet kisses.
You make it so easy for her to use you...
She moves down, taking one of your nipples in her mouth as she slowly starts to suck on it.
Groping your other breast while she places her knee inbetween your legs, applying pressure on your core with it.
Soft whimpers leaving your mouth as you're asleep. Its the perfect moment for sana.
Its like a dream come true.
She starts to suck on your other nipple, her hand travels down as she rubs the material of your underwear against your clit. Softly and slowly.
She leaves your erected bud, kissing your neck again. Just now she leaves marks..
She needs to show who you belong to, doesnt she?
Taking of your underwear, she kneels down, her tongue circling on your clit.
Your moans get louder, it could make sana cum untouched.
She puts a finger inside of your hole, its so tight around her finger.
"If i would have a cock.. oh god what i would do to you baby..." she whispers as she continues teasing your clit with her tongue. She adds a finger and she slowly starts thrusting in and out of you.
The air gets thicker. Its silent except the sounds of your moans and the wet sounds of your core...
Sana can feel your body arch,
"You're so close to your first orgasm.. how cute...
come on, cum for me. and only me baby" sana says, even though she knows you cant hear her. It turns her on so much..
She curls her fingers inside of you as you climax. Juices flowing out of your hole as she "drinks" them.
Sana looks down and sees how she came too.
She sits down on the bed, kissing your forehead.
"I cant wait to do this again when you're awake.." she whispers, laying down and falling asleep.
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You wake up to the smell of food. You sit upright, leaning against the doorframe. Rubbing your eyes and stretching yourself.
"ugh my head..." you groan. You stand up, noticing that you dont have a shirt on. You take one as you stand infront of the mirror.
"what are these..." you look at the hickeys, being confused why they are there..
"how did you sleep?" sana asks, smiling as she leans against the door.
"what are these sana?" you say, looking at her very confused.
"i have no idea" she answers, shrugging her shoulders.
"dont worry too much, its normal to forget things when you're drunk. Im sure you're gonna remember what happened soon.."
"or maybe in your case you just dont remember..." sana mumbles while smiling.
"what did you say?"
"nothing. come eat" she walks back to the kitchen.
You sigh, putting on the shirt.
Sana has something to do with it. You know it.
#Spotify#wlw#feeling silly#twice imagines#twice smut#twice x reader#girl group smut#twice ff#down bad#chaeyoung x reader#chaeyoung fluff#sana smut#dom sana#somno#i need sana so bad actually#minatozaki sana#sana imagines#twice icons#momo smut#smut
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(first time acctually writing so apolagies if its bad😅)
Prompt: "i asked you if you wanted to go on a date, you never responded"
A hour had passed since you had send that text, no response. You just laid there in bed staring at your phone before giving up. With a sigh you close and set down your phone, did you do anything wrong? Perhaps taking things to fast or misreading the signs that you believed were there? You regret sending that text now, being left on red is making your mind go crazy with conspiracies and letting you over think. What if donnie finds you weird now? Will this ruin your friendship? Maybe you should just delete the message before- your phone lit up as you got a message. Your breath hitched in your throat as you got nervous seeing that it was a message from donnie. You took a deep breath before grabbing your phone and looking at the message. Your heart raced in your chest as you saw the answer, it was a yes. You were overjoyed, falling back on your bed kicking your legs like a excited highschool girl, childish yes but you were just so happy. You quickly texted back about location and time. You did notice how donnie's texts were shorter than usual but you decided not to think much of it. You quickly got up, opening your closet and grabbing a quick outfit. You went to the bathroom to get ready before leaving the house. It was late, the night was calm and cool. A gentle breeze hitting your face while you walked. You checked yourself over and over as you got closer, making sure noting was out of place or imperfect. Gosh you were nervous movies always made it look so easy. You arrived at the location, waiting outside for donnie. After a while he arrived, he looked nervous too. "Hey reader" he said stammerd not able to make eye contact and frankly neither could you. "Hey donnie" you replied back. Then there was a silence, neither of you knowing what to do or say till donnie eventually decided to break the silence "so... should we go in?" He asked, "Oh yeah ofcourse" you replied quickly. You opend the door and entered the restaurant, keeping the door open for him. You both soon sat at your table accros from eachother. "Sooooo uhm-" you started, you dont really know why. It was just starting to get akward with how quiet it was this was way easier in your head. You quickly tried to think of something to say and just blurted out "hows the weather?" Gosh that was stupid, hows the weather? It was the dead of night. Donnie akwardly replied unsure "cold i guess". And it was silent again. Your food arrived and you two ate in silence. Donnie then asked "why did you ask me out?" He looked well tried looking at you as he asked. You quickly swallowed the bite you had in your mouth "well..." You fiddeld with the nearest thing you could grabb, heart beating fast "because i like you i guess" you managed to mutter, you then looked up at him and asked "why did you decide to accept?". It was silent again before he spoke "i guess because i like you too" he said with a small blush, now both of your faces were a bit red. "then why didnt you reply when i asked you out?" You asked out of curiosity. He was hesitant, you were about to tell him that it was okay not to answer but then he spoke "i have never been on a date before, frankly i didnt think you really liked me" he chuckled sadly "i mean... Im just some geek, and after april-" "well april was a fool" you said cutting him off, you never understood why april didnt like donnie, in your eyes he was perfect. "You are smart, talented-" you paused as you realized that you were talking out loud. Now both of you were completly red, you coughed and spoke "i mean, your a good guy and i would love to be with you... If you want to". Donnie looked at you with a small smile and nodded "i would love to". The two of you started talking and enjoying the date. You two were having fun and went home after, already planning a next one.
@dancingdonatello
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I sometimes ask myself (WIP FOR THE REF SHEET BELOW)
“Khang!! Why don’t you ship Aventio/Raturine/Golden Ratio??? Theyre literally YOUR kinda trope! You’d die for the same troupe and you cried over multiple other ships that has the same dynamic!!”
And i do ask myself what is it about aventurine and dr ratio that separates them from the other ships of the same trope that i would defend with my life, but after months and months of wondering “why do i feel like theyre awfully platonic” “why cant i see them romantically like the other ships of the same trope” i have come to an conclusion that dr ratio and aventurine hits too close to home w me and that one bro that i love with my life platonically and i am projecting onto the two of them
And also Dr Ratio is ugly
But anyways back to oc x canon shit ft. My genshin oc from 2020 - prof. Solias lehto of engineering. He was made for sumeru before the region was released…. …
Sol is basically borderline ruan mei, he dgaf, he is putting himself in 20 pounds of radiation if it means he makes a new weapon for fun. He wanted to ascend to an archon-hood through mechanical works or some shit, fucked up humanity and is working for the fatui, making them weapons yadayada for the fun of it and they allow him to.
He occasionally visits the quarters to distribute his silly little gadgets for testing (he made sure it was safe before putting to test) and thats when he met childe and they became best buddies because makes weapons x uses and breaks them and theyre both insane so it works i guess. And he learn first aid + pursuing medicine in Sumeru just so that he can tend to childe’s wounds because test subject + he cares for him.
Despite this, he doesnt agree with Dottore work ethics as he has a personal moral code for humans. He would never test dangerous things on others, he would do it on himself. (Learnt it the hard way after he accidentally lobotomized his twin brother)
Same pose… same almost dynamic… two different games… im cooked….
.l…..
Ok back on rambling, here’s some post-talia fenrir.
He was Dr Ratio’s student to gain the elementary foundation before heading off to pursue linguistic and literature. He would earn a doctorate pretty soon after cuz he lowk a freak with languages and now he’s teaching alongside Dr Ratio too. They are not in the IPC together, but the organization that Fenrir is in often collab with the Intelligentsia Guild so basically, he’s the honorary IPC member.
Fenrir sometimes nag the doctor to let him join the Guild, even threatening with the invitation from The Riddlers (he did join them but Dr Ratio doesnt know yet)
The students under Fenrir does noticed a competitive undertone/tension between the two doctors, but not many knew about their past together. Its a funny thing. They would often compare their students achievements for fun too.
the strict teacher x the teacher people thought were a student
God i want them dead too theyre like evil eifenturine
As a token of thanks, Fenrir dedicated almost 89% of his research to the Avgin-Sigonian dialect for Aventurine and chose to study the language as his dissertation. It was a little funny thing as people keep seeing ihm around the strategic investment department trying to butter up aventurine and was like “what the fuck is this guy doing here bro” and bawm in like 4 months or smth a piece of linguistic and archeology research was birthed
I dont know if i want it angsty or not, but for this i’d want aventurine to be happy that his heritage is finally being recognized and. He’d often tease Fenrir by repeating some of the rambling that fenrir always repeats when talking to Aventurine in Avgin-Sigonian, like little mumble
“okay so avgin sigonian has two diphthongs… from the way he’s speaking they’re normally in stressed syllables… hmm…. And they make morphological alternations with the mid vowels /e/ and /o/….”
This is a joke doodle, THIS IS A JOKEEEE
#ocs#aventurine#hsr oc#aventurine honkai star rail#fanart#hsr#hsr aventurine#oc x canon#artists on tumblr#dr ratio#aventurine needs a big fat hug bro#honkai star rail talia#honkai star rail oc#honkai star rail#honkai sr#hsr talia#dr ratio x oc#aventurine x oc#childe#genshin impact#genshin childe#childe tartaglia ajax#genshin x oc#childe x oc#genshin x hsr#eifenhe#vashrir#avenrir/eifenturine my savior#star rail aventurine
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Please please please elaborate on your bizzyboy relationship chart. Especially about the one Im obviously baised about. Please .
cracks my knuckles. on it buoss.
for the sake of i know my audience, i will in fact start with vibs stuff. obviously the fat crush on capo is. well it sure is! he is not subtle about this and will not ever attempt to be. how does capo feel in return? haha ! something for sure ! (mutual on some level but hes... capochin.) vib and ban are both creatives and they tend to butt heads a lot for that reason i think? he thinks al is a weird little freak (affectionate. maybe. probably.) and doesnt have a lot to say about gr just in general. p is his special little girl <3 but no genuinely theyre pals :} they gossip.
capo is friends with exactly no one. he feels positively towards al, hes got......... emotions. about vib. he doesnt have much to say in general about gr (a trend you will begin to notice emerging). and obviously he... isnt a fan of p. something about that kid hits just a little too close to home for him. ban. ban and him have some History in my brain. they were friends once. when was the last time capochin had a friend?
p doesnt actively dislike anyone. not even capo. she used to really admire capochin, even saying she dislikes him now feels too strong. its just... weird. she looks up to vib i think? theyre friends but theres also like. seeing an older queer and latching onto them. know how it goes. shes on decent terms with gr and despite everything genuinely likes al? p and ban are friends. this is because of one offhanded line ban says in the cove. they care about each other.
al feels. generally pretty positive about... basically everyone. hes the type to consider most people his friend, i think!!! hes chill like that. but he does genuinely hold a lot of admiration for capochin. he has a weird one-sided beef with ban that began for reasons even hes forgotten by now.
ban also partakes in the butting heads with vib. but he takes it... a little less seriously? vib is a hater (positive) hes just like that. and like i mentioned he has... a weird relationship with capo!!! its fine! dont worry about it. he gets along with al just fine. why is al so insistent that theyre enemies. hes genuinely pals with p!! shes his friend !!! and hes also genuinely pals with gr. bans trope savvy he knows the quiet one has more to em then meets the eye. (and he just likes the guy!!!!)
grs. not got a lot of super strong feelings. as far as anyone knows. he actually has many of these. he likes p okay enough and is fine with al even though he frustrates and overwhelms him a bit sometimes (loud.... mmessy). he looks up to capochin in a way most similar to how p does, i think? used to, at least. he hates vibs guts for reasons that only make sense to him. and he has a huge shitty crush on ban thats been going on for years now. he is convinced it is slowly killing him.
#basil answers#jonahmagnus#asks#great god grove#great god grove spoilers#kinda? mostly for ps section.#bizzyboys
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KINKTOBER
♤IN THE OPEN♤
CHISHIYA X READER
NSFW - Public masturbation - Fingering - MDI - +18
(I got this request like 4 times)
Chishiya was kind enoug to invite you to one Open talk about the lastest surgery methods that would be soon be used at the hospital he worked.
And you, as his supportive S/O had accepted without thinking about it too much.
It was boring, the first hour was fine, but then things got too intelectual for your non medical brain. Making you feel sleepy. You tried not to make it too obvious specially for Chishiya, but nothing scapes him, he noticed it right away.
"Are you bored dear?" He murmured into your ear making you flinch in suprise and turn red.
"Im fine" you tried to lie to him but the look in his eyes say "I dont believe you".
Suddendly the lights when off, this was in order to present a video of the New method.
God, If you were getting sleepy with the lights on then this was your end game.
"Hey, dont lose yourself now" it was Chishiya again and before you could ask him what was he trying to say you felt his hand go under your skirt to touch your lips above your underwear.
You jumped and in reflex closed your legs, trapping his hand. You could not see it, but Chishiya had a smug look right now.
"You have been spacing out all this time, were you waiting for me to touch you? Here?"
He asked, pushing away your panties to the side and slicing one finger into you. You had to bite down a moan of suprise, as the presentation went on Chishiya kept fingering you.
"Shh, dont make a noise, I have a job to keep you know? I cant lose you because you cant keep that pretty mouth of you close"
You wanted to talk back to him, but he was alwyas one step ahead and added a second finger, hitting your G spot making you weter.
"Look at this, are you going to make a mess in here? Where all my coworkers are?
You said no, moving your head not trusting your voice but a gasp left your lips when he decided to play with your clit.
"No? Darling you need to try harder"
He taunted you, keeping a steady speed, his fongerd caressing your walls making you get close and closer to your orgasm.
"You gonna cum? You cant even wait till home right? You are so needy"
Instead of stopping he kept going, faster this time. You had to hold his arm as you curved feeling your release.
Suddendly Chishiya stopped, moved his fingers out of you and acted as if nothing had happened. He looked at you for a moment then to the front, the lights went back on revealing your red face and hard breathing.
"Its your girlfriend ok?" A fellow Doctor asked Chishiya noticing your state.
"She is, she just needs to get home and....finish something important"
#alice in borderland#aib imagine#aib imagines#alice in borderland x reader#Chishiya x reader#kinktober
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