#i dont know how to stop that so i mostly just avoid like. competitive games and shit like that

[korattata]

I'm getting kinda tired of the tournament things tbh, mostly bc my brain doesnt know how to handle competition and gets very >:( when the thing i like loses

[brw]

Tony Stark and Reed Richards for the character ask thing

TONY STARK

how i feel about this character: 😬 ngl i... don't care for him. at all. i don't vehemently hate him, there's definitely times where i appreciate him & his personality but it's few and far between and i... genuinely do not get the hype. i think its mostly mcu fans' fault for my dislike, its just he's fucking EVERYWHERE now, it's impossible to miss him? like he plays a big role in EVERY avengers comic now, he gets ongoing titles all the time, and it's just so frustrating especially when you consider characters who used to be more or less on the same level on them (like hank pym! who, by the way, has been dead for 6 consecutive years! that would never happen with tony!) or even more popular than him now get streamlined because of the mcu's popularity. by himself, i don't really mind him that much, but with how famous he is now and how large and frankly annoying his fan base is i just... now really do not like the character.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: short list here; reed, because i find their dymanic of reed as someone who does everything for his family and will do everything and anything he can to protect their interests above everyone else but also wants to keep his hands clean and believes, genuinely, in the good of the world, and tony as someone who will do horrendous things in the name of the greater good who always has the bigger picture in mind interesting. i also don't know a lot about it but he seems cute with rhodey? even if i think rhodey deserves a bigger chance to be his own character away from tony as is sometimes denied i can always appreciate a good best friends to lovers dymanic :)

my non romantic otp for this character: um? i honestly don't know 😭 i don't like him enough to say, i guess him n reed again? him n rhodey again? help 😭😭😭

my unpopular opinion of this character: he does not deserve the fame he has. like, i dont mean to sound jealous or whatever but pre 2007 movie he was not the most well liked character or even that popular. like obviously he had fans because he had solo series on and off for a very long time but it just feels SO ridiculous that tony stark has a bigger fandom than the fucking fantastic four. THE FANTASTIC FOUR. marvel's first superhero team, and yet??? like okay. he might have things to offer i don't see. he obviously does, i mean, he got three movies and multiple solo series. but he has most certainly not got enough as a character to overshadow the fantastic four, the x-men, etc and i will never forgive the mcu & mcu fans (and mark miller, he deserves blame too) for making it so. again, by himself he's fine but it is ridiculous to me that a one note white character that appeared in his third film (harley keener or... whatever) has 2000s more fics than THE PROTAGONIST OF INTO THE SPIDERVERSE, MILES MORALES. it is just... so vile and frustrating to me.

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: he didn't exist <3 jk jk um i'm not sure? i guess it would be funny if he was like... stick thin underneath the armour. like idk. he's in the armour 24/7 it makes sense to me for him to be a skinny little nerd under there. like completely fucking small. like you can't be a superhero AND be a billionaire and avoid all those taxes AND run the avengers AND run multiple massive corporations and still work out... even if you take away eating and sleeping there's just not enough time... it would be funny if he was just a tiny little boy underneath all that djndndbf

my otp: gonna say him and rhodey again. like i say, can never resist a good best friends to lovers dymanic.

my cross over ship: jdjshdhdh literally none i don't think about him enough to consider it <3

headcanon fact: 100% think he was the one to offer reed that money to star in a p*rno it's just so funny to me to imagine dhsnndnd

REED RICHARDS

how i feel about this character: HE'S MY BOY! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! like i guess it's paradoxical considering how similar he is to tony in some ways but man i just love reed so much. i so genuinely think reed richards is what tony stark fans want him to be. like they (mcu fans) make up elaborate headcanons of him being a good dad and an ethical billionaire and its like no that's reed richards? canonically he's gone broke bc he refuses to get money off his inventions... u have the wrong man... anyway he's also an asexual LEGEND i do not take criticism and ofc. autistic icon. literally he's so autistic it makes me <3 i love him dearly.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: it would be easier to list the people i DON'T ship with him lol. sue, obviously, victor ofc, and ben are the big ones, but i just LOVE his dymanic with t'challa and i think they would rlly work it... i also love the idea of him with namor, idk with victor it's just so funny to imagine reed as like. bizarrely attractive to rulers of foreign countries. blackagar faces the same problem <3 i also do believe him n hank pym dated in college for a bit... all their weird little microaggressions towards each other just makes me feel that way... again i do like him w/ tony and i made this weird au where he and emma frost got together which if prompted i WILL talk about. probably. more but yeah <3

my non romantic otp for this character: while i do LOVE them together as lovers i just love. benreed generally <3 like they're LITERALLY besties they love each other sm and i'm tired of pretending they don't????? so many people ignore this relationship and it makes me so sad!!! they're best friends they love each other fight for each other fight with each other theyre literally besties... smh put some respect on the benreed name 😤

my unpopular opinion of this character: i don't think this is that unpopular but it is in certain circles so! i genuinely think reed is the best marvel dad! like you can talk abt others all u want but the fact is that reed is the only character i can think of who has always been there in his kid's lives and has consistently put their needs first. like not saying other characters are bad but even at his worst writing he's always done his best for his kids and certainly has been full of love for them. other characters at their worse have. murdered their own kids <3 genuinely he's the best marvel dad and sure there's not a lot of competition but. yeah <3

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character: I WANT A CANONICAL AUTISM DIAGNOSIS NOW. literally he is SO autistic & there are... no big autistic marvel characters! at all! literally none! the closest we have is legion (who was written in an incredible ableist way and autism hasnt been used to describe him in a solid 30 years) and monet (and it turned out it wasn't monet but one of her twin sisters impersonating her :/) so it would just mean so much to see a canonically autistic character like reed who is older & has a wife and kids who he loves and who they love in return on panel. like so much of the rep we DO have is like, young kids or teens and idk an autistic adult would just mean so much to me. especially one like reed who is as selfless & loving as he is.

my otp: tie between doomreed and reedsue! any option that gets this noodle nerd lots of love i'm good for tbh

my cross over ship: him and ralph dibney from dc should date... they have so much in common... stretchy autistic man who's very smart and kind of silly who loves his wife sue who pegs him 🥴 they'd have so much to talk about sjbdhdhd also imagining the look on ben's face realising there's TWO of them is. so funny.

headcanon fact: he's aromantic he's asexual and neither of these stop him from his very meaningful & passionate relationship with his wife :)

assorted character ask game!

[fandom-smut-shots]

Hello!! I was wondering if i could get a matchup for Voltron, Mha (or Haikyuu) and Naruto?

Im a 5'6 latina

My zodiac is Leo♌

Im straight

I have near black eyes and waist length brown hair. I have freckles splattered around my nose and eyes and im pretty tan

I love working out

My love language is quality time

Im a pretty quiet person and avoid speaking unless i have to

I have major trust issues

I have a huge sweet tooth and will not be stopped from eating sweets, especially if im on my period

I have a few friends who i do stupid stuff with like parkouring around a kids playground or doung a contest to see who ladts longer in a handstand

I love reading and writing

Silence gives me anxiety do i tend to be around loud people even if its not exactly on purpose

Dont relate much with many other girls my age cause I hate dresses, heels, flats, makeup, kpop and social interactions (i know uts not the same everywherw but where I'm from its mostly the only things i see)

I love fighting videogames (my faves are Gaara in ninja storm and Takeda in Mortal Kombat)

As I mentioned before, i hate social interactions and get anxiety in crowded spaces

I like feeling included in social situations because otherwise id probably be in a corner just looking around and feeling miserable

I love basketball, volleyball and dancing and im pretty good but my parents think ots a waste of time so i dont play competitively

Im studying mechanical engineering focused on aerospace

Im good at math and science, so people think im smart but I suck at every other subject

I get anxiety mostly at night cause of nightmares and well the quietness

My favorite songs are "She used to be mine", "Not another song about love", "King for a day" and "The way you make me feel"

Im protective of my friends and im not afraid to beat someone up for them

Ive been told im intimidating because of how quiet i am, apparently if youte quiet and from Puerto Rico, it means something along the lines of "calm before the storm"

Im probably found in the gym playong volleyball, basketball, or just on a rooftop reading on my own while listening to music

I love baking but hate cooking

Im pretty goofy around my friends but switch back to being quiet when im in a crowded room

Favorite superhero is Iron Man and Batman

Would probably be a speedster in any of those worlds

Imma stop now

I have answered this so. Many. Times and I get through the whole first matchup and then Tumblr reloads or my laptop crashes or, in the case of my brand new laptop, restarts to install updates and ughhhhh.

So I've fallen out of the Naruto fandom, I love it but I'm just not sure I'm comfortable writing it outside of a few select characters, so I answered both MHA and Haikyuu in place of Naruto. I hope that's okay.

Voltron

I ship you with...

Lance McClain!

Lance is totally not my go-to when the requester is Latina.

Loverboy Lance knows all about quality time. His loud personality is perfect for curbing your silence anxiety. He loves to surprise you with gifts, so when he finds out about your sweet tooth, he's bribing Hunk to teach him how to bake your favorite treats. Video game dates? He would absolutely not destroy you at Mortal Kombat. Once he finds out you can dance, you're never getting off your feet. And he's always down to play basketball or volleyball with you. Also be prepared for debates about Iron Man vs Batman.

Haikyuu

I ship you with...

Satori Tendou!

Being athletic obviously gave you plenty of options from Haikyuu, but not many of them are great at quality time, which landed us here. Tendou doesn't have many friends, so he'd absolutely adore having a partner that wants to spend time with him. And you know he understands trust issues. You have a sweet tooth? Baby boy's favorite food is literally chocolate ice cream. He's definitely loud enough to help with your anxiety, and if anybody understands mental health, it's our loveable lizard boy. And baby boy LOVES video games, so video game dates are absolutely a thing. A partner that will play volleyball with him? Sign him the fuck up!

My Hero Academia

I ship you with...

Eijirou Kirishima!

"Working out" and "fighting games" immediately sent me to Kirishima. He would fucking melt if you had workout dates together. And quality time is perfect for him - all of his free time would be spent with you. He would also bribe Sato to bake you some desserts. And unwinding after workouts and homework with some Mortal Kombat? Fuck yeah! He's got a big personality, and he has a lot of loud friends, so he's probably usually louder than he means to be. He may not be the best dancer, but he's friends with Mina, so you're definitely getting invited to dance parties. Also, he's definitely down to binge Iron Man or Batman movies with you.

[axemetaphor]

wwwhats up its 430am I cant sleep and I dont think I've ever done an annoying headcanon ramble for jdate on here so here we fuckin goooo I'm on mobile but I'm gonna try my damnedest to do a read more and if it doesnt work and looks stupid well sue me

amy is the one routinely awake before the other two. I dont mean shes always the first one to wake up, but her back pain is more likely to have her up in the early hours of the morning. shes also the only one who has anything thay resembles q sleeping schedule of the three as john is just like, completely fucked in that department and Dave's insomnia/depression-sleeping fucks him over sometimes. basically amy Has A Brain and also lost likely schedules it so that she can be falling asleep as her pain pills take effect.

amy also is the one who's like fairly into self care stuff like fuckinuhhh face masks and shit—look, I dont inow jackshit about self care, but I mean amy strikes me as the kind of person to actually maintain her appearance in a fairly regular manner. john will just like "forget" to take care of himself and then just Be Decadent for a week and then "forget" again (either going on a bender or just actually being normal for once) and all dave knows of self care is "when I get the urge to eat an entire pie, and give into that urge, That is self care"

anyways Partially because of that I headcanon Dave gets acne like Pretty Much All The Time and hes just kinda stopped caring about it. amy gets acne Sometimes because it just like Happens. john is that one lucky motherfucker who just is somehow naturally immune. perpetually clear skin on this man. I hate him

also dave Kind Of strikes me as the kind of guy fuckign "3 in 1" shampoo is targeted towards the man just Does Not Care. other girlfriends have tried to get him into actually using different kinds of soaps and not just defaulting to "3 in 1 wherever I think soap should go" but its amy who actually succeeds in breaking this terrible habit hes had.

also I think that Despite his hair being described as frizzy and all that, John actually takes care of his hair. except for times when hes Less Than Functional. and also yknow when the world is fuckin ending but I doubt anyone really has time for a haircare routine when they gotta be fighting monsters and shit

amy again is just a normal person about hair. but shes the only one who can actually cut hair and tbqh I think she does it Pretty Well! shes no professional but shes not john either that's for sure (if you let john close to your head with scissors, well— it's your funeral, man)

this is completely projecting and also like totally Useless but I just think it would be funny if Dave has exploding head syndrome. if you donf know what that is it's a phenomenon-or-something where right when you're dropping off to sleep your brain just liek idk gets bored I guess? and comes up with some phantom Loud Noises to startle the shit out of you. it's great! and by 'great' I mean terribly annoying! but in general I think Dave is a Very restless sleeper so him suddenly flinching himself awake isnt exactly Abnormal.

amy sleeps like a normal human being Mostly, I think she Might be one of those sorts who likes to sleep curled up in the fetal position which is so very valid. she gets night terrors sometimes though because ✨trauma✨. the best way to comfort her with that is a tight hug cause I feel like her Main fear would be that shes all alone again and a hug sure does help people feel less alone I think,

john either starfishes out when he sleeps (also I headcanon he likes to sleep at least Partially on top of Dave and Dave only pretends to hate it) or grabs hold of something and clings to it tightly. hes a very light sleeper, though, and snaps awake at any loud noise or especially if he gets bumped into too strongly. this doesn't always play well with Dave's restlessness and tendency to Sleep Fight but they manage.

I feel like its fairly common to Assume john has tattoos but specifically I feel like a lot of his tattoos are things he or his friends have drawn, I wrote about it Once Or Twice but maybe not here so I'll just like say it again, I think he asks his friends to draw shit on him then goes and gets it tattooed later (or, hell, right then and there lmao) and it's like a Mark of Friendship. he claims Dave has drawn the most on him because Dave's his best friend but whether or not that's true, who knows. the first one was from Dave, though, and john did it himself stick-and-poke style the night of. that happened while they were still in high school and Dave was actually Slightly Embarrassed because what he doodled was just like really stupid looking and fuckin hell john now you're gonna have that on you forever what the hell man? but the rest of John's tattoos, if not done by friends they're either things he drew (I maintain he still draws in his downtime I love the idea of artistically talented john so much-) or weird shit he found online.

I honestly didnt think Dave would really get tattoos because he does state hes afraid of needles BUT as someone Also afraid of needles who paradoxically wants tattoos .. he could probably power through it and get like A Few. one of them is from John (stick-and-poke style, again,) and I am Not actually sure how many hed have but definitely less than John. amy only has that one tattoo that I keep forgetting when I draw her godfuckendammit-

John is the one who makes the most Food Monstrosities (Dave barely even bothers to cook) and he does this by making just the worst decisions both technical-wise (as in, hes Definitely the "just turn the oven temperature up to speedrun cooking" kind of guy) and taste-wise. dave on the other hand is likely to make terrible drinks like jack daniels + mountain dew which my buddy Ben so fantastically dubbed "jack and piss." the sheer Concept of jack daniels + mtn dew tho is thanks to that one kurtis conner video about becoming a country boy which is entirely unrelated but everyone needs to know. ANYWAY.

john and Amy like playing pranks on each other (and dave). they're in an ongoing low-key prank war and Dave is Mostly just spectating but sometiems they Conspire to commit mischief against him. it's annoying sometimes but ultimately more endearing than it is annoying so he never gets Too mad.

john and Amy absolutely have Gaming Nights(tm) that sometimes include dave as well unless they wanna play some like fps game, I'm fairly sure hes said he doesnt really like those. but they also can get Competetive which, dave tends to act as a bit of a buffer to keep them from getting Too into it ... but sometimes he gets a little competitive too. what I'm trying to say is them playing mario kart is absolute chaos and also an event i woudl buy tickets to

john has a youtube channel for sure. he is So obnoxious. he hardly has any audience because let's be honest his videos kind of suck— they're all either kinda boring vlogs or him recording the cases he and Dave go on (when he can convince Dave to let him) which are almost always declared Fake by the commenters. amy is subscribed to him. dave probably doesnt even have/use his own YouTube channel so he was not subscribed until john stole his phone and did it for him. (he never watches the videos) the videos are not edited much, I dont think any of them really knows too much about video editing shit.

dave cant fuckin do math.

John and Dave do Not know how to handle crying. like Dave's learned what helps Amy, in specific, but anybody else? clueless. Dave also just does not cry very often in general (shut up lemme project again LMAO-) and tends to just refrain from doing it even if he wants to/probably should, rarely ever actually breaking down and letting it all out; he'll stop himself from getting there/even crying much in the first place. he doesn't exactly have a Reason for it or at least not one he can recite (it's the bullying. we dont get details of how that was beyond The Locker Room Incident which I wont go into but I'm just going to project the rest of it was similar to shit I went through, It's The Bullying). John also kinda Doesn't Cry and actually hes even more restrained about it than Dave, because he won't even cry around either of them if he can avoid it and if it happens he 1) will Not address it, 2) prefers no one else acknowledge it, and 3) will Run The Fuck Away if it's acknowledged. they both try Really Really Hard to help amy when shes crying though, if shes crying for a Big Reason, cause they both also understand she just cries easily and doesnt always need or want comfort.

that,s all for now BUT if I come up with mroe. there will be a reblog. also these are not all like "I am the only one who's ever tho ig ht this" or w/e a lot of them are from me talking with other people or Absorbing much older posts on here because I read Everuthing I can find.

I sure hope I can sleep soon, this is probably mostly incoherent. gnight

[turtle-steverogers]

Blackened Lungs

i was gonna do a mini greaser au but then this idea came to me instead

warnings: smoking, death mentions

ships: platonic ralbert mostly, but sprace is there for like a second

editing: nah 

“Hey, Race,” Albert cracked open the door to Race’s bedroom to find it empty.  He furrowed his eyebrows, confused.  Race’s shoes had been by the door, he was definitely home.  

The longer he stood there, the tenser the atmosphere seemed to get.  Something was off, but he couldn’t tell what.  He stepped further into the room and wrinkled his nose as the smell hit.  The acrid scent of tobacco drifted throughout the room, causing Albert’s eyes to water.  He frowned, backing out of the room before the sour odor could latch onto him.  The pungent stench of cigarettes hadn’t plagued their apartment since Race had quit smoking half a year earlier.  He peeked his head out to the living room in case he had missed Race asleep on the couch, but there was still no sign of his roommate.  

He jumped when a door opened down the hallway and he craned his neck to see Race, padding out of the bathroom, holding a towel around his waist.  His hair was mussed up from drying it and still obviously damp in some places.  There were dark circles around his eyes and he hadn’t seemed to notice Albert as he crossed to his bedroom.  He startled when he spotted Albert standing near his door and immediately moved to cover himself before he remembered he was wearing a towel.  From where he stood, Albert could smell Race’s strong lavender body wash- the kind he only used when he was about to go on a date with Spot.  Or trying to hide the smell of smoke.  Albert could infer which one it was.

“Heya, Al,” Race said, putting on a tight smile, “What’s up?”

Albert bit his lip, trying to remember what he had intended to ask Race in the first place, “Uh,” he blinked, coming back to himself, “Oh, yeah, Jack wanted to know if we could bring the beer to movie night tonight.”

Race shrugged nonchalantly, “Sure, I think we have an extra case on top of the fridge.”

“Perfect,” Albert said, distractedly, “Are you okay?” He asked, avoiding asking Race about the cigarette smell directly.  He knew from experience that that wouldn’t get him anywhere.

Race’s eyes flashed imperceptibly, and if Albert didn’t know his best friend as well as he did, he would have missed it, “Yeah, I’m cool,” Race said, shortly, “Lemme change, then we’ll leave.”

He left no room for further discussion as he shut the door to his bedroom.  Albert hesitated in the doorway for a moment, debating whether or not to push the subject, before deciding against it and turning to walk to the kitchen.  As predicted, there was a full case of Budweiser on top of the fridge and Albert stood on his tiptoes in order to hoist it down.  It wasn’t the highest quality beer, so Albert grabbed the half-full bottle of Pinot Noir that they kept handy as well.  Race came out of his bedroom, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt.  He had a pair of cryptid print socks on and was carrying his converse in one hand and a fidget cube in the other.  His shoulders were drawn up ever so slightly.  He was tense.  Albert couldn’t help the worry that was slowly consuming his mind.  What was wrong with Race?

Race planted himself on the kitchen floor, placing down his fidget cube momentarily in favor of slipping on his shoes.  Albert waited until Race stood back up, the usual bounce in his actions gone.  He wordlessly grabbed the wine bottle from Albert and the two of them left for Jack’s, Albert toeing on his own shoes before leaving.

They made casual conversation in the car, but nothing compared to their usual banter.  Race was furiously clicking his fidget cube the entire car ride, which was driving Albert insane if he was being honest.  But Race clearly needed to fiddle with it more than Albert needed his patience, so he bit his tongue.

As soon as they arrived at Jack’s, Race’s rigid demeanor dropped.  Or it seemed to, but as Albert watched him interact with their friends throughout the night, hints to his unstable mood were slipping through his facade.  He’d winced at every loud noise in the bad horror movie they were watching and when Spot tried to put his arm around him, as he usually did, Race flinched away.  Albert could see Spot cast a concerned glance at his boyfriend, but Race kept his eyes transfixed on the movie, though it was clear his mind was elsewhere.  The movie finished and Katherine pulled out several board games for the group.  Albert went to the kitchen to retrieve the wine and they enjoyed some lighthearted competition, accentuated by the pleasant buzz of alcohol.

“Hey, did y’all hear about that guy who broke outta jail?” Jack asked at one point during a game of Sorry.  Race was suddenly very interested in his glass of wine.  

“Oh yeah, the uh, the one that killed his wife and child a while back?” Crutchie asked, toying with the game cards.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jack said, “Apparently he like, went batshit and choked one of the guards, then dipped before anyone could even blink.”

Race had visibly paled by now, but no one else seemed to notice besides Albert, not even Spot.  

“That’s wild as fuck,” Spot mumbled, “I hope they find him soon.”

Race stood abruptly, earning a few questioning looks from the group.  He downed the rest of his glass in one gulp, before saying, “Be right back,” and leaving down the hall without another word.

Spot and Albert glanced at one another, a silent question echoing between them.

After a moment, Albert stood too, “I’ll go.”

Spot nodded and Albert walked in the direction that Race had disappeared in.  It took him a few minutes, but he eventually found the other man on the fire escape, legs dangling over the ledge.  He had one arm braced above him on the scaffolding and the other pressed underneath his thigh.  A cigarette dangled from his lips, the burning end glowing in the darkness.

Albert sat down next to his friend, who didn’t acknowledge him.

“So you have been smoking again,” Albert said after a beat.  It wasn’t a question.

Race simply hummed.  Albert spared a glimpse at him, trying to read his expression, but his head was turned the other way.

“It’s bad for your lungs, you know.”

Race let out a humourless laugh, a puff of smoke billowing into the air with his exhale, “People always tell me that like I don’t know it.”

There was another tense pause as Race took another drag, turning his head to look in front of him again.

“What’s wrong?” Albert asked.  

Unsurprisingly, Race didn’t answer straight away, but Albert waited patiently nonetheless.

“The guy who broke out of jail is my dad,” The statement was made in a monotone voice, yet it sent chills down Albert’s spine.

The momentary fear was replaced immediately with confusion, “Wait a minute, I know your dad.  I’ve met him.”

“You’ve met my adopted dad.  My real one killed my mother and little sister when I was eight.  I got out unharmed, but I watched him do it.  No one knows I was there.  Not even the police.”

Albert sat in stunned silence as the words sunk in.  He tried to think of something to say, but all that came out was, “I didn’t know you were adopted.”

Race shook his head, extinguishing his cigarette on the metal bar before flicking it off the fire escape, “None of you did.  I didn’t tell anyone, not even Spot, because I never wanted to associate with that man again.” He was speaking calmly, but the disgust and anger in his voice was noticeable.

“I’m so sorry,” Albert murmured.

Race was quiet, his head now resting on his arms.  For a brief moment, Albert wondered if Race was crying, but when he spoke, his voice came out steady, “I’m scared.  Terrified.”  The magnitude of his words were not reflected in his matter-of-fact tone.

Albert pursed his lips, “I can only imagine what you must be feeling.”

Race hummed again and reached into his jacket pocket with shaking hands, pulling out his box of cigarettes, as well as his lighter.

“But you gotta stop that,” Albert said, nodding to the cigarette Race had just pulled out.

“I know,” Race mumbled, “I fucking know and I’m mad at myself for doing it, because it took so much of me to quit, but…” he trailed off, shaking his head.  This time when he spoke, there was a waver in his voice, “I don’t know how else to deal.”

His hands were shaking so hard now that it was a wonder how he was still holding the cigarettes.  Albert carefully reached over and took the items out of Race’s hands, placing the cigarette that Race had taken out back in its original spot.

“We can figure this out, man,” Albert said, shifting to face Race, “I’m here for you- we’re here for you.  I know the others don’t know, and I’m not asking you to tell them anything that would make you uncomfortable, but we’re here to help you.”

Race drew in a shaky breath, “I don’t want him to find me,” his voice was small and vulnerable and so unlike the Race that Albert knew.  It was frightening.

“He can’t do anything to you,” Albert assured him, trying to convince him, “I promise I won’t let him.”

Race nodded, scooting over to bury his head in the crook of Albert’s neck.  Albert put a protective arm around him.

“Can you not tell the others?” Race asked against his skin, “I may talk to Spot about it tomorrow or something, but…”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Albert promised, “But I swear I’m here.”

“I’m sorry I smoked,” Race said, ashamed.

“I’m not mad or anything,” Albert said, “I can understand that you’re going through something hard and trying best to deal in a way you know that works, but I just don’t want you hurting yourself, dude.  Do you think you can try and stay away from them from here on out?  Come find me when you’re nervous instead?”

Race pulled away and Albert was shocked to see that he had been crying, “Yeah, I’ll try.  Thank you, Al.”

Albert squeezed his arm reassuringly, “We’ll get through this.”

Race nodded, wiping at his face, “We will.”

-

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

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[vicioushyperbolizer]

nurseydex prompt where theyre dating in secret (not really in secret they just havent told anyone & dont display pda & maybe they enjoy seeing everyone believe they arent together) so almost everyone thinks theyre still pining & tries to set them up (chowder knows bc he walked in on them making out but hasnt told anyone bc he respects their privacy)

Also features: Ace Dex (ace anon, I do have another thing in the works for you, though, because I don’t like how weirdly mushed in this sounds)

 >I got a bingo. You owe me (1) favor

Dex couldn’t help but grin down at his phone. He wasn’t even mad that he lost their game.

Back when they started dating, he and Nursey had an understanding that they didn’t want to tell the team. Not because either of them were in the closet or anything; they just didn’t want to endure the drama that the team would inevitably stir up. Avoiding the fines was a nice perk, too. It wasn’t that they were hiding it, they just didn’t tell anyone.

The thing was, though, the team gossiped like old ladies. So, when Lardo noticed that their fighting was less serious and more playful, she mentioned it to Bitty. Bitty ran with that theory, assuming that it meant sexual tension, and told Ransom and Holster that they were pining.  Ransom and Holster tried to bribe Chowder into giving them hints how to get the two together. But Chowder walked in on them making out, and already agreed to keep their secrets.

It didn’t take long for the “subtle” (at least, they thought they were being subtle) nudges to set up Nursey and Dex. Then, the subtle turned blatant and everyone was trying their hardest to set them up without actually setting them up.

So, Nursey and Dex turned it into a game. They each made a bingo card with members of the team and was that they might try to set them up. It was mostly a joke, at first, but then they both got a square in the same day and they decided to make it a real competition.  

>Whiskey with “just fuck each other already”, two squares for the win

When someone knocked into him from behind, Dex realized that he had stopped in the middle of the quad. He quickly typed out a response, so that he could keep walking to the computer lab in the basement of the admin building, the one that was always empty.

It wasn’t long into his essay that he forgot about the whole thing. Until he got back to their room, that is.

Nursey had cleaned; he shoved all of their dirty laundry in the hamper, picked up all of his heavy anthologies off the floor, even stacked their broken sticks in the corner of the room. The lights were turned off, but there were candles everywhere (apple pie scented, so Bitty’s). It looked frighteningly similar to how Dex set up his room when he was trying to get into his first girlfriend, Emily’s pants.

Nursey was standing off to the side, a huge grin on his face.

“Dude, are you trying to take my virginity or something? What the fuck is with all of this?” Dex was mostly joking… Mostly. He threw down his backpack and closed the door behind him.

Nursey opened his arms wide. “This is my favor. One romantic evening with my boyfriend. I tried to make tissue paper flower petals to really set the mood, but kind of set myself on fire, so just candles will have to do.”

Dex didn’t know where to start. The whole romantic evening thing wasn’t a huge deal; they both knew that Dex was a giant softie. They usually didn’t go so all-out, though. The fact that Nursey kind of set himself on fire, which wasn’t exactly surprising, but was maybe a little alarming. Or…

“This isn’t about that, right?”

It took Nursey a minute to understand what Dex was asking, but when he did, his smile turned into a look of shock. He rushed over to pull Dex into a big hug.

“Babe, no, of course not. C’mon, you know I don’t care about that.”

Dex melted into the hug.

Their conversation about Dex’s asexuality happened even before they were dating. It was the first time he told anyone. Nursey was nothing but supportive of him. When they started dating, Dex expected that to change, but it never did.

It wasn’t until months into their relationship that Dex told Nursey that he had never actually had sex before. He was afraid that Nursey would try to tell him that he couldn’t know he was asexual if he never had sex before, but that didn’t happen. Nursey barely reacted at all, and a part of Dex was still wanting for the other shoe to drop.

“I just want a backrub while we watch Goon. And maybe your slice of the vinegar pie Bitty’s making.”

Dex pulled back far enough to give Nursey a soft kiss.

“Oh, and on your way here I got another square. Play ‘til blackout?”

[topicprinter]

I don't want the title to sound like I'm attempting to write some epic series. I'm more surprised than anything that the first post was so well received. I think subconsciously I hoped it would sink and that I would have scratched my itch.As it does seem to be helping a few of though and I did say I'd keep writing if it helped, I feel the need for at least a couple more posts and I'll hopefully take the time to answer some of the comments individually on the previous one.​To continue then, here is a 'Don't- Do- Don't' sandwich to keep the positive and negative even.I'm certainly not bashing on entrepreneurship, far from it. I really do think everyone that has the desire in them should start something- I'm just really concerned for others that feel they have to start something in the way and with the aim that other people are telling them to.​I've jotted down 4 more Don'ts and a handful of Do's here. As I mentioned in my previous post on here- I personally think that by scaling back your ambitions and intentions, focussing on the tiniest actions and letting go of too much need for a return on your efforts you are far more likely to either do something a little worthwhile that you can benefit from or even surpass these humble goals with something closer to your unrealistic goal than you would otherwise.​Apologies in advance again if I hit anyone too close to the bone and please bear in mind that I have probably been there.​(Side note: On browsing through yesterdays comments I think there are some people that could do with a 30 or 60 day detox from self help. Don't tell yourself you're quitting them forever- just swinging the control in the relationship with your books and authors back in your favour)​Two More Don't Do's for the Day.So yesterday I touched on the Don't Do's of 'Aiming for the Stars', 'Looking for too much advice', 'Desperation towards starting a business/ Lack of patience' and 'Overthinking'.I genuinely think if you avoid them you'll do better than not. To build on them and go a little deeper here's what I have maybe done and didn't work or have closely observed in the people in my circle (ie happy, decently off, mostly non millionaires although there are a few).​Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously (or be too hippy confident)I don't know what it is with us when we start out on this journey but I think it's the innocent care free child inside us hiding from this new scary creature we're trying to mould ourself into.Depending on who your'e copying, you may naturally start to try and emulate them. Most stereotypical famous entrepreneurs (not all btw) are either quite aggressive/ arrogant or quite 'know it all-ey'. From what I recall anyway.They're either strutting and yelling and power shaking the soul out of people or they're trying to come across as some type of hippy wizard who just 'knows' everything and can see round corners.Again, to compare that to the people I personally know- they are far more ordinary than any of the personalities- they're far less intense barring a bit of good old enthusiasm.I can't quite think of how to describe the ones I know but one thing that covers it is that they are all great to socialise with and good at parties, I can imagine the ones I haven't been to a party with are also.I don't mean they are the life and soul by any means- some of them are found with me in the kitchen or corner- what I mean is that they'll talk about varying and interesting things, will bang out a few dad jokes or take the p!ss out of others and themselves.They like a laugh an most of them did before they made it.Every single one of them has a pretty involving hobby/ interest outside fo their work or business (I've now written a list/ mind map of these people to help me write about them!) and I wouldn't describe a single one of them as intense or preachy.Actually come to think of it- I believe deep down that a lot of them come across as being aware how lucky and possibly average they are.This was a big realisation I came to myself prior to 'doing well' and I now feel better in myself with this opinion.- Lighten up, chill out, put more effort into your hobbies and outside interests (or get one), laugh; and enjoy life a bit more.​Dont try to find Opportunity Everywhere- Don't Think of everything as a potential business.Bear with me on this one.​A few years ago, after harassing my health service for several years prior to get me in front of a shrink to diagnose me with the Adult ADHD I 'knew' I had, I was finally aloud to go in for some tests- the lovely Indian lady doctor told me the reason I kept getting into a funk of lack of focus, indecision and spiralling 'anxiety' (which has similar symptoms- more on this later) was partly due to the fact that I had Seasonal Affective Disorder (and partly due to the fact that I was sadly desperate for success- she knew!)I was told by her to get a blue light and try mindfulness. Of course I took that as 'become a meditation teacher who's not into the woo woo and open a centre' and 'start a specialised website that provides advice to sufferers of SAD and sells blue lights etc'.I then went home, looked up all the keyword search volumes and started to analyse the competition- I felt sick when I realised the lo and behold someone had beaten me to it... by at least 20 years. The keywords were really competitive and it just wasn't worth it.I begrudgingly bought a light from the top result and when it came I think I kinda hoped it was crap.These last few winters I've actually used the blue light in the mornings and feel far better this time of year than I ever remember.I know that many of us that are naturally drawn to entrepreneurship are problem solvers, opportunity grabbers and make things betterers but we only have so much creative energy and decision making juice in us each day.By looking at every damn object or service we come across as something that we 'could get into', it drains our radar and puts everything into the same swamp of ideas.I think it's better to be more of a disregarder- again Im sure that the people I know know this.I've personally found that the businesses that have happened for me were a bit like with me and my wife. The first few encounters were random, meaningless events... we spent a little time together and took things slowly with no agenda. Then without even realising it we were in love and then married with children.- The opportunity will come if you let it and you'll just know when you know.​Time for some Do Do's(Stop it Chandler!)Finally, some things that can be done!Like I said, I think having a business is great, has made me a better person and has made me a good bit better off. I genuinely attribute a large part of my 'average' success and subsequent happiness to things I stopped doing rather than new habits that I formed but here are a couple of things I and those I observe do/did and may be worth trying yourself.​When you stop fantasising, researching and frantically flicking through motivational books & videos, you're left with some space that needs filling.I already mentioned hobbies and interests, but I'll cover that after what I think should head up the list.​Spend time with other peopleI haven't called it family or friends etc as I don't want to marginalise anyone who doesn't have them. I don't want to brag but I am lucky in this sense- if you're not so, I genuinely think you can do something about that.I also appreciate that people may be shy, be introverted and/or have social anxiety.I still think that its really important that you spend more time with the people you like spending time with or go out and find some. I guess it doesn't matter if they are online even- just spend time chatting and getting to know others more intimately... and remember, not too serious yeah.Have a laugh, get drunk, go fu shi up, go bowling, play frisbee, walk/ hike, play pool, fish, shoot, dance, knit... whatever..... with other people. More importantly make sure its people your'e not trying to sell to, buy from or otherwise advance yourself in business/ finance.Also, when things get going in your business life, don't bore these people with ita) It usually is boring andb) they like you cos you're who you are- not what you are.​Worthwhile wastes of time- AKA Hobbies and interestsYep, I know I'm beating this drum to death- trust me, its important.If you're the active sort, go and do something physical, just drop the goals and the aims etc, especially if you're into bodybuilding or running etc. Swing on some bars or look up calisthenics if you want to use your muscles. Take a look at woodwork, building heavy things or something like that.Try not to replace your addiction to being an entrepreneur/ wantrepreneur with another addiction though.You're just killing a bit of time and giving yourself something to take your mind off of things. Using your body and mind for something other than 'trying to succeed'.Remember- no outcomes. You're doing what the soft headed teacher told you at school about just taking part and not winning.Although I like video games, I don't like to feeling I get after sitting down in front of screen for too long so I can't play them. I do love movies and gripping documentaries so probably watch about an hour a day and film or two at the weekends after the kids are in bed (usually with beer/ wine and snacks).A few years ago I would be sat the on my laptop or iPad 'looking things up'. I couldn't even bring myself to enjoy a few hours in the evening to watch a film. Jeez- what a waste.I've taken to building things and renovating my house- it's coming along quite well, I'm really improving my DIY skills and am amassing a fine array of tools. I've built a shed out the back, moved the kitchen from one end of the house to the other- according to the mortgage broker I've added nearly 50k to the value of my house.... what's important though is that I've really really enjoyed it. I have plans for many other things and am learning CAD (which I should know being in engineering anyway but this time its for fun) and am watching several CNC routers on eBay to further the fun.I also love growing and cooking food- not trying to be a masterchef or thinking about opening a restaurant- Just messing about with flavours and/or following recipes to the letter and switching off.This post isn't about me though- I just hope it's a decent example.The others I know are into motorbikes, following sport, also building things, also food and cooking, art/ painting/ drawing, animals etc etc- Find out what what floats your boat and go do some. Tie it in with other people for added enjoyment but also give yourself a bit of 'me time'.​Right- some businessey stuff.​Give yourself timeOkay, a kind of a reiteration here but as before.. bear with me.Take a step back and if needs be take some real time off of thinking about starting if you haven't done so yet. If you are in business and are feeling disillusioned, give yourself a bit of a break- systemise and consolidate a few things and try and get yourself on a plateau.​Of all the self-help and motivational things I hate most and feel are the most damaging- it's the 'It's only too late if you don't start now', 'Quit your job', 'Drop out of college' crap.If you want to start a business and get started, you would be far far better doing it small and part time alongside a job.I know you're tired on an evening and just can't get your brain to do something- I've been there.You're not thinking small enough yet, you're too caught up in whether you will be wasting time on something without an eventual payoff for it or whether it's worth it and will lead to the fast track of being a millionaire or more.Seriously, give yourself some space- take the next few weeks/ months to just enjoy doing nothing and then when you're ready- Start Really Small.If you're not sure what business to start- keep doing nothing. Stop resisting the real world- it will be there along with all it's wonderful opportunities when you come back to it. You'll hopefully be more realistic and willing to be a shade more mediocre when you come back.If you hate your job or someone in it, the next ones for you.​Figure out how to Tolerate Yourself and OthersAnd by others, I also mean other things.I actually think it's rare that we actually hate our jobs.I think it's more likely that we hate the fact that we are there.Whether it's because we feel too good for the job and it's inherent shortcomings or we can't really believe that we are on the same pay scale and worthiness as some of the dumb@sses we share our workplace with- we are really hating our belonging to that situation more than anything else.In order to move, and again this is the direct result of conversations with some of the successful people I know, we have to transcend the situation.Yes, we work alongside some horrible/ stupid/ pedantic/ lowly/ very special (not good special) people and hence in the eye of our colleagues and society we are on the same level as them.I feel for you and if we met I would quite possibly agree that you are better than them. Feeling bad about it isn't going to help you though so you must transcend.I'm not quite sure how the universe or its evolutionary system works (sorry Abrahamic religion people) but I think it's kind of a promotion system.I'd bet that the fish that made it onto the shore and grew legs were the descendants of the better of the fishes- I just don't think evolution created reptiles from the offspring of really crap fish- like 'Hey youre terrible at swimming and eating other smaller fish- you should try being a lizard".I think then, that it's kinda the same in society and as I said, in particular with my self made friends. Quite a few of them actually got into their present business by the way of an opportunity presented to them by being good at their previous jobs.It's similar to me as well. I ended with my 'day business' as I turned myself round and decided to start working hard at what I was doing and putting the troggs to the back of my mind.It got noticed and I was given several pay rises, I then ended up on the radar of my friends dad who owned his own business and asked me to run a project for him. 4 years later I'm flying and have invested in several other ventures/ people since.- Transcend and overcome the drudgery of what you are doing now while you are still there.Move on when its time and you're ready.​SystemisationI've decided to make this a separate post as it really covers too much for an already far too long post- I'll let you know when this is up fully but for now....Turn everything you do into a system.When you do eventually get going, think of every single step as something you might have to do again. Make a game out of making things into a system. Using either a basic paper notepad/ filing system or one of the free or built in word processors or spreadsheets, make a list of the things you are doing.It will speed up any rework, it will make you better at remembering things and it may force you into trimming wasted activities out of your day.You might feel silly writing down "Spend 4 hours browsing r/Entrepreneur" followed by "Watch 10 random guru videos back to back- but only halfway because they haven't given me the missing secret yet and the search must continue hastily"I promise I'll add more to this in the week but for now- Think 'Systemise It'.​The last couple of Dont'sI hope the majority of these items being dont's doesn't put you off- I do think you can do it if you get realistic and start being easier on yourself. Avoid things is easier than doing things and yields similar results. You don't have to run the 8 miles if you don't eat the extra donut (You can have one though!).A couple more things to avoid.Apps and online servicesTalking about what you're doing/ going to do.Apps and ServicesAny time spent looking at organisational, project management, CRM, email management, keyword/ adword, accounting, team comms etc etc etc apps, that you don't currently have a pressing need for is a complete waste of time.Especially if you are just starting out- by the time you need one the market will have changed and you will have to look though them all again.Trust me...been there and done that.Again, by all means have a browse. If you start evaluating them and heaven forbid buy any, you are fantasising and feeding your delusional side.Pen and paper works fine if not better than most apps. Particularly for a one man band or small team.​TalkingThe last but not be ignored thing I have noticed in others and has turned my life around since I stopped, is the ability to work on my stuff in silence and to keep one's counsel in general.If you need to tell people what you are doing, I think you are giving yourself some kind of reward internally. If you're getting the reward from telling your friends, family or colleagues- you won't feel the need to get the reward from selling or creating something when you finally get started.Bigging Up your business may have the same effect. You may not need to take it to the next level or wrap it up into a more passive income with the work being done by others if your ego is already getting it's hit.Secondly, it increases the anxiety towards the fact that you must be doing something right now. If you've told people you're going to move on from this situation and become a millionaire, your mind will be frantically looking towards things to do to make this happen.Until your opportunity has come along or you are ready for one, this could manifest itself in more addiction to the non worthy activities we've already been through.- Keep quiet until you get started.- When you do get started, continue being quiet about it.- If you're already in business, quieten up a bit.​​That wraps this one up and again I hope some of you find something useful.​​​​​​​