#i dont know how to put it into words.... i think he has so many problems
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Morro and Cole... ghost guys
that's true! my favorite mentally ill dead teenagers
#ninjago#potatart#morro#morro ninjago#cole brookstone#morro is q complex & interesting character and i think his relationship w the ninja in general is definitely complicated#but very fun to draw#i dont know how to put it into words.... i think he has so many problems#<3#best part about being a ghost is that you can touch other ghosts. Get held idiot
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This scene of Till innocently peaceful with such a big smile feels incomplete to me after the events of round 7--But more true to his character rather than a comic with his final thoughts like Sua and Ivan had, it's cruel, brief, like a flashback, and it's bittersweet. Till is probably going to be reserved and ambiguous till the end. He wouldn't be able to bring himself to think about and reflect on his regrets and traumas; that's Till's principle; living in stubborn, childish beliefs, and in those truths, he finds escape into solace, even if it's unlike his reality, it's how he copes enough to make everything bearable for the next day to come. This image feels like a reflection, a memory of when he was happier in life. In Till's final moments, he thought about his and Mizi's childhood, the moment he fell in love with her was when she smiled at him with such radiance, the same moment, he felt like his heart was reborn; it was like he could breathe and smile solely for her. Till thinks back to these moments, these fleeting moments of peace because he can't let them go, he can't let go of the comfort of that familiarity.
--"Oh in a blink Gone. Blink and Gone, relish the present."
This image does bring me back to a lot of lyrics in Round 7. But this one in particular, a line that talks about living in the present before the moment slips between your fingers, in a blink, gone. But Till lives in the past.
Till doesn't think back to round 1 when he killed that alien guitar for Mizi, even though it was fully his decision, even though it was so gratifying seeing "Till win" and Mizi's acknowledgment, do you think he would have done that if he wasn't desperate and just doing what he felt like he had to do to survive? Because he had to stay by Mizi's side in her darkest moment like she was the one beacon of hope and happiness for him?
Till only suffers when he thinks back to round 6. When he's reminded of regret and pain. So, he represses the very memory of it to protect himself, he can't bring himself to even acknowledge it at all until he's forced to, when the aliens were intimidating him with Mizi's missing poster, he fights back out of anger. Just having that weakness, his guilt, and his grief used against him feels like a different kind of collar. Till thinks back to these warm, intangible memories of his childhood because life on stage was never something he could make his own, he didn't want to live for anything Alien Stage offered him, power, fame, etc. Despite his passion for music, Till is gentle and emotional at heart. This throne that is elevated high by bloodied corpses, a life living stagnant and trapped under the suffocating palm of an Alien, at the very top but inexplicably expendable, was never Till's vision of a life worth living. That's why he fought like hell for the life he wanted, for the life that he could've had. It really drives the point home when his final thoughts were centered around those moments when he was the happiest in his life.
It is so hard to feel the beauty, the warmth, in this image when everything around him is inauthentic, and it's off-putting because of the underlying details, especially since because of his gown, this scene might have taken place after one of those experiments or 'classes' it's a very subtle reminder of their reality. But his smile is so real in the moment without the collar, without the pain... he looks so carefree and full of life
And he scrunches his nose when he laughs *gets shot*
#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alien stage till#i dont think i can talk about it enough...he's so fucking precious to me i fucking hate him (affectionately)#AGH#aghrhhhh#i still want to see a comic of his final thoughts though#this just feels like a vaguer and and more metaphorical way of getting his feelings across in one lense or another#but when i say it feels incomplete. this doesnt feel like all he has to say yet (i hope)#I MISS MY WIFE#cosmic boom of emotions when i see this i dont know how to put it into words#but vivinos has me in a chokehold#he's just a kid. the way he had to go through so many things seeing this face makes me feel happy for him and sad#i really want to kill myself but i miss till so badly#god i am your weakest soldier for till alien stage only#I SMILE AND I CRY HIS FREEDOM THE LACK OF COLLAR HIS HAPPINESS#AUHGHGH#the primal urge to hold him close and burrito him ina. blanket..i love him#till alien stage#till alnst
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every day i have to hold my tongue when m-cd-nnis shippers start sounding like frat guys with the way they talk about dennis' Secret Feelings toward mac. hey man. i don't actually think you get it. i don't think you understand what's going on between them.
#HEY MAN. I DONT THINK DENNIS ~SECRETLY WANTS IT~ AND TJAT ITS GOOD ACTUALLY WHEN HE ASSAULTS HIM. CAN YOU BE NORMAL.#ada speaks#guyssss dennis is just secretly gayyyy its fiiiine mac is making him come to terms with itttt#he actually really wants all this despite his verbal protests you guysssss#fuck taking him at his word obviously dennis doesn't know what he wants !!!#like my brother in christ. when dennis says. It's Never Gonna Happen. Not Willingly.#he means it. the willingly part IS the important part#when dennis HAS a choice and when mac is not actively REMOVING that choice#THEN he is like. fine with it#but you people don't seem to understand what it is that mac is doing that dennis is opposed to#is it rlly that hard to understand that mac putting dennis into these situations like in ddl and gets romantic is intentional on mac's part#dennis' issue is. Always. he doesn't like being TRAPPED. key word.#this is why he resists time and time again not just with mac but with everything else he fights against#he doesnt like being out of control. he doesn't like being controlled. its not even that he wants to be the one in control#it's for protection#so when mac traps him. intentionally. in a way that is premeditated. when he knows he cant trust mac#why in gods name would he WILLINGLY consent to literally anything#like you look at the implication and the obvious parallels there#where he is recreating how he was made to feel#and its specifically about being trapped. PHYSICALLY in this sense#and you look at the fucking scripts and you see how many goddamn times the word TRAPPED is used#[GESTURES BROADLY]#like for the last time. dennis is not resistant to mac bc he has these latent desires he is in denial about.#he's resistant to mac because he doesn't trust him and doesn't want to be assaulted.#its about power. but consistently we see that dennis Doesnt Want Real Power he just wants enough to protect himself#like for fucks sake. yes. if dennis consents then obviously he's going to be fine with it#the problem is that mac doesn't care enough to get consent#and very specifically circumvents it instead. den isn't like. overreacting. he's right djskdjfkkf
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i know that ep12 with its sunbathing scene at the market place is known as one of the most romantic scenes in the show and i dearly love it too BUT HAVE U EVER LAID EYES UPON THE RIVER SCENE AT THE START OF EP12 BECAUSE AAAA
#this makes me realize that this episode already starts off as pure romance#ep11 ends with angst and a shaky truce between wkx and zzs#the disaster of the fake glazed armour pieces just happened and zzs has Feelings#wkx tiptoes around him and is a lot more tentative than usual#they dont really name any of their issues because of zcl#but its p obvious even to zcl that wenzhou are Not Good with eachother#but then ep12 starts:#wkx is alone at the river . hes very sad#zzs arrives and offers him his wine out of the blue#wkx doesnt dare believe that zzs has forgiven him#but he accepts the wine and they joke and flirt#zzs tells him that its hard to open your heart but he will make the first step#he tells him what wkx means to him and what hes willing to put his faith in#wkx is very anxious abt it#zzs is satisfied with his achievements and takes his wine back to leave#wkx remains uncertain but at least he now knows where zzs stands#The End#im just!!!!!! there are so many narrative parallels here i didnt notice before#the wine thats exchanged - the moon - zzs joining wkx at his sad riverside thinking#(wkx really has a thing for thinking besides rivers)#and wkx is the flirty one of the two but have you SEEN how zzs LOOKS at him??!!!!! aaaa#wenzhou#word of honor#wen kexing#zhou zishu#my thoughts#word of honor episode 12
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rotating Scenarios in my mind but have no ability to actually write them. truly evil
#the only thing i can write rn is lucanis getting his brains fucked out and i can’t do that at work.#not in the middle of the office.#i’m rotating so many juicy post-game lucanis/magpie arguments about the first talon situation#i mean honestly neve also argues with them about this. bc she has the only realistic solution (Stop Being First Talon lmao) but#i have a specific scenario in mind neve wasn’t present for….#however it’s one of those things that’s nothing without the context of the ~2 years before and ~1 year after. LOL#i just think. well. lucanis and neve are both convinced that being first talon will get lucanis and magpie killed#but lucanis doesn’t see a way out of it#and magpie doesn’t see getting out of it as an Option#and because she’s who she is that means the only option is getting through it#and Not Dying.#which puts lucanis in the middle of a lot of conversations he doesn’t really know how to handle when he’s getting wildly different opinions#from the ppl he trusts the most.#idk i just think this is so juicy.#and i can see the arc of his whole multi-year drama in my head#but making it into words? well#that’s hard.#lmao#AND ALSO I STILL DONT KNOW IF NEVE IS BLIGHTED. grey warden neve counting the years until she dies and having to wonder if she’ll out live#her partners anyway is like. a different vibe from regular neve watching this all go down#i’ll make a final choice once i finish playing her romance#i’m leaning toward her getting blighted bc lucanis being left entirely alone for the weeks magpie is trapped in the fade is so good#but we’ll see!#漫言#datv spoilers#r. make a mercy of me
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♡ mr. aizawa's wife....
a/n: i'll probably most definitely write about husband aizawa with a wife who has a quirk, but for now here are some quirkless wife hcs <3 this is lowkey all over the place, all I've been thinking about is husband aizawa and what that would be like so i need to dump out all my thoughts and then I'll write smth more organized eventually
word count: 0.7k
synopsis: what it would be like to be aizawa's wife <3
pairing: shouta aizawa x fem!quirkless!reader
genre: headcanons? dump? i honestly dont know!! i'm just writing stuff fr <33
you're not a pro-hero so you don't work at UA, but you're still there all the time. the heroes truly love you, you oftentimes get bored after your own job and bring the faculty fresh baked goods, typically leaving a big tray in the teachers' lounge but delivering aizawa's to him since he's always so busy with class.
the first time you met his new first years they were doing some training outside, you had just come by the school with a tray of peanut butter chocolate cookies and were about to deliver some to aizawa and give him a chaste kiss on the cheek before heading home.
when the girls of the class saw you walk up to aizawa out of the corner of their eyes and give him a kiss they gasped and stopped whatever they were doing.
aizawa panicked when he realized they saw and told them to get back to training, but they were already immediately approaching you and showering you with questions.
"oh my god mister aizawa has a wife?!" "how long have you two been together?!" "how did you guys meet?!" "what is aizawa like at home?"
you would laugh nervously and brush off their questions, whispering something to them about how aizawa is secretly a snuggle bug or something of that nature and usher them back to training, watching as they giggle and whisper to each other as they walk back, looking at aizawa and giggling some more.
aizawa isn't sure what you told them, but he'll "glare" at you for a moment with no real anger behind his stare, then mumble a quick "love you" before returning to work.
if you get off of work before him, he loves coming home and crawling into your arms, collapsing on top of you if you're lying on the couch.
he feels like a classy man when he wants to be. he'll be the kind of man to tell you to be ready at 7pm and to wear a nice outfit, and tell you he got you both a reservation at a restaurant.
he'll never tell you where it'll be, but he'll make sure to vet the menu beforehand just to make sure it has food you like so you never have to pretend to like something around him.
it will never be an insanely popular place with a bunch of people, but it'll always be nice. he doesn't like loud, crowded restaurants that are so loud he can barely taste the food in front of him, he loves quiet and intimate spaces with you.
if you ever volunteer to chaperone at a UA camp or dance or any other event, he always secretly loves watching you work with his students. he loves the chemistry you build with each of them and the effort you put into building friendships with them.
izuku loves to talk to you, he's always running up to you with his notebook asking questions about what the personal life of a pro hero is like and seeing if you have any anecdotes or fun facts about his quirk.
you're also one of the people all might lets see his true form before it's revealed to the public. you're always worrying over him, and he always brushes it off and tells you that he's okay, but you still check on him every time you visit UA.
as seen with how he acts around his students when something traumatic happens to them, he's very good at talking you through whenever you're sad. he's not a man of many words, but the words he does say leave an impact, and he always knows what to say.
he's not much for PDA, most people don't even know he has a wife until you just show up since he's so private, he prefers his intimate affairs stay intimate, he doesn't like everyone in his business or knowing how he acts around his wife.
nothing makes him feel guiltier than all the times you're awake for days on end next to his hospital bed after protecting his students from a dangerous situation. you understand why he does it, how important his students are to him, but still... seeing how destroyed his body gets after a villain encounter always makes you sick to your stomach, and you never feel quite at ease when he's working.
you both love taking naps together, if naps could be a love language that would be your guys'. you're always snuggling when alone and one thing will lead to another and you both end up snoozing on the couch for 30 minutes or so, something about being in each other's presence is so relaxing.
#aizawa x reader#shouta aizawa x reader#aizawa shouta x reader#shouta aizawa#aizawa#aizawa shouta#bnha#mha#my hero academia#carmen writes bnha#bnha x reader#boku no hero academia#mha x reader#fluff#headcanons
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rapper!chris x singer!reader hcs
a/n: lowkey a collab with @bambi-slxt bc of all the headcanons she sent me LMAOO thank u sweets!! <3
SFW
chri$ is definitely one of the more "soft" rappers. everyone knows that hes a lovesick puppy for you. he doesnt have ONE line including the words "my bitch". instead he replaces them with "my girl" OR "my wife" :((
i think he would 100% make an album fully dedicated to you. kinda like tyler the creator's "call me if you get lost" in a way. for example, in the song "HEAVEN TO ME", tyler explains his dreams. chris would rap about all of the things he wants to do with you and how he sees you in his life forever
he has many features on peace on the beach with my peach since its partially about your guys' sweet relationship! theres moments in the record where there are beautiful beats paired with your heavenly vocals and cute voice cracks while chri$ is dropping barssss (ill make a post ab lyrics i think he'd add)
sososososo supportive of your creative journey. he was with you as you wrote and planned out your extremely personal debut. he even helped out at the studio :c
but then you started adventuring some time after your 2nd-3rd album. you started experimenting with different genres/styles. you created storylines and visuals along with your music.
out of the two of you, chri$ is definitely more famous. anyhow, he got invited to the met gala and had u has his plus one obviously, where you both looked drop dead gorgeous!! i literally cannot see him wearing a basic ass suit and tie to the met. he has to be on your level and match your uniqueness which make you two stand out so much!
when you both got up the steps, he was being interviewed by emma chamberlin, who was also a fan of his. she asked about the creative process of his newly released album and he totallyy put you in the spotlight, saying "yn helped me a lott honestly. she's... literally a genius." he grins, turning to you while keeping his hand on your waist.
you guys like toying with the paparazzi when they're bothering you. you goofballs make silly faces right in the cameras so they back off
one time when you were being interviewed, your sweet boy wrapped his arms around your waist as he listened to you talk. you were a little nervous and stuttered a bit, but chris consoled you by rubbing small circles into your waist and whispering a gentle "it's okay baby" to your ear.
you fangirl on stage when you catch your boyfriend's eyes in the front row. sometimes you entirely stop what you're singing just to giggle and squeal "hiiii honey!!" while twirling your hair like a little girl. the audience cheers with screams when they realize chris is with them in the crowd-- but feels like its only you two in the stadium when he blows you a kiss (some corny shit he never thought he'd do) and mouth the words "i love you".
for the holidays, u two visit homeless shelters and childrens hospitals and perform for everybody <3
imagine just hanging out at the studio with him and your guys' friends. he's manspreading on a leather couch while massaging your feet resting in his lap as you write lyrics in your lap, your friends helping you out as you do.
you knew that somewhere down the line there was going to be some kind of beef. a popular rapper decided to call out chris for something he did years ago as a literal child. you both ignore it until he sends out a tweet about you. something around, "nd his bitch bad asf id hit fs but she a fuckin weirdass childish mf"
you ignore the fact he called u a "weirdass childish mf", you cant care less, many people dont vibe with ur ideas and thats okay!
u do however care about how his girlfriend would react to seeing him wanting to fuck you. and you'd met her before too, she was a little snobbish, but respectful nonetheless. you joked to your boyfriend about dropping your own diss track on him, but he actually seem intrigued. you shut it down almost immediately though, you didn't wanna make something small such a big deal
but at the next big event you guys went to, you found the rapper's girlfriend and showed her his tweet. she thanked you with a furious scowl on her face before she ran off and slapped the shit out of him in front of everybody
chris gets a custom made $5k chain that has ur name and little details that remind him of u around it :((
NSFW
speaking of that chain, he wears it whenever he pounds into you so you'll be reminded of how he's yours.
chris loves ur vocals so much on stage! he finds them beautiful, but he loves them even more in bed.
"cmon mama lemme hear that pretty voice"
in fact, you two created a song just to have playing in the background while you two get intimate
chris audio recorded him eating u out once and you saying, "oh, fuck chris, it's so good!" and he decided to use that as an adlib in his favorite songs OR disses he wrote about someone being a jerk to u
watching chris perform did things to you. seeing him sweat, brushing his gorgeous hair out of his face, putting in so much energy into his performance... it's intoxicating! sometimes you wish he'd just drop the mic, pull you onstage, and make love to you infront of the world.
he talks about marrying you while he's balls deep inside of your wet cunt :( saying how he wants to drop a humongous bag on your ring, give you the wedding of your dreams, and how he desperately wants to hear "missus sturniolo" from others' mouths
chris will totally pop up behind stage after a show and guide you to your dressing room not so subtly. you apologize to your manager before rushing to your private room like a giddy teenager. "wanna see her sweetheart, she wet for me righ' now? oh, there she is.." he coos as he bends down to his knees right in front of your pussy when you pull down your pretty pink stage costume.
@leah-loves-lilies @1everythingmustgo @star-sturn @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee@freshsturns@emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668 @chrissturnsss @joanofarcily @mattscoquette @slutsturn @sturnioloremarker @ashley9282828 @jnkvivi @sturncakez @lanasturn @riasturns @st7rnioioss @strnlxlqve @starlace111 @mattsfavbigtitties @stvrlighht
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#𐔌 ♡ ˚₊ ⭐🎀 singer!reader ₊˚ ⊹#singer!reader x chris sturniolo#singer reader x chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#the sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x yn#chris sturniolo x y/n#chris sturniolo x girly reader#chris sturniolo hcs#chris sturniolo headcanons
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Headcanons for dating Johnny Lawrence
Johnny Lawrence x reader
warnings: towards the end theres degenerate!johnny mentions (the WORST most funny way to put it but him being an alcoholic and such) (that is NOT funny dont be an alcoholic)
a/n: i been looking at young william zabka edits for an hour brain go brrr. also yes i already have hcs for this so these are NOT part 2 they are a different au after the all valley 🙏. this has been the MOST INSPIRING fic i have written in months im literally in love with him
prompt:
after the all-valley and cobra kai, johnny felt like he’d lost everything
then he found you
you had just barely known each other, growing up in the same vicinity but never really saying a word to each other
until one day at encino oaks, johnny spotted you sunbathing on an unusually warm day and took a chance
“y/n, right?” -johnny, sitting on the pool chair next to you
“that’s right” -you, tilting your sunglasses down
“i’m johnny. we, uh, we go to west valley together”
“yeah, i’ve heard of you” -you
his stomach sank (he’s got a bad track record)
“yeah, that’s unfortunate.” -johnny, getting up to leave and pausing “would you be interested in jumping in the pool with me?”
you stared at him for a few seconds (cuz you could tell he wasn’t too confident) and got up, actually jumping in the pool in a full cannonball
his spirits were lifted and he jumped in right after you
“that was awesome!” -johnny
you two swam around splashing and annoying the older club members, but it was no matter
you ended up sitting on the pool ledge talking and getting to know each other
“oh, no, i don’t really keep up with local karate tournaments. i hadn’t heard” -you
“that’s perfect for me, then” -johnny
you gave him your number and said you’d see him at school monday
and that you did
“is that him? he’s cute! maybe he’ll start driving you to school. or you could get your license” -your mom, dropping you off
“mom!” -you “he does seem pretty sweet. i think he found me at the perfect time, too. got knocked down a peg or two from some karate tournament”
he brought you a little box of chocolates to give to you before class THAT VERY MONDAY (he was moving fast)
he was also very desperate for a prom date for senior prom but that was beside the point
you played a little hard to get
but johnny finally found a reason to fight again and he wanted to fight for you
“could i take you on a date this weekend? do you prefer something fancy like a nice restaurant or casual like golf n stuff or romantic like the beach?” -johnny
“why dont you just plan it and i’ll be ready. just tell me what i should wear” -you, kissing him on the cheek
he always felt so cool and confident but you had him flustered and about to buckle at the knees
he decided to keep it casual for now because you seemed so “go with the flow” and there were so many things to do, so many distractions to keep him from doing something stupid
and of course he picked you up because you still didn’t have your license yes
“come on, i’ll teach you how to drive” -johnny
“noooo thank you, i am not driving your car” -you
you drove it one block and he understood why you didn’t have your license
johnny paid for all your tokens and you guys had a blast competing in games and ended up with a pretty decent pile of tickets
“ooh, competitive!” -you
“i have no idea what you’re talking about” -johnny
daniel was actually at golf n stuff that night with ali but johnny didn’t even care he was so infatuated with you
he bought you some nachos for a snack, which he snuck a few bites in shamelessly
you still haven’t kissed at this point but he was waiting for the perfect moment
you made sure to touch his arms and keep close and flirt, sending all the right signals
he seemed like such a go-getter, you were getting impatient
and finally, he took you to the ferris wheel and made it all cliche and special wrapping his arm around your shoulders and waiting until you two were at the top of the wheel to place a hand on your cheek and kiss you gently
(gentle went away fast you had been waiting for this for a whole WEEK and thats a lifetime for a teenager)
he was giddy for the rest of the night and all he’d gotten was a quick makeout session
he ended up pooling all your tickets together for a stuffed animal of your choice
it couldn’t have been a better first date honestly
and soon enough he was driving you to school, walking you to class, bringing you little gifts, getting you into trouble, listening to music with you, sneaking out with you, just doing everything with and for you
and the promposal was very cute classic (a sign and some flowers, he wasn’t all too creative)
and when prom came around, you two stood out! you both looked stunning and styling, everyoneeee was jealous
“johnny looks happy” -daniel
“poor y/n’s just gonna get their heart broken” -ali
prom court?? no actually lol but keep dreaming
“you’re the prom [king/queen] in my heart” -johnny
“if you hand me a plastic crown im gonna hit you” -you
johnny took it out anyway and you both started cackling bc it was so silly
he just wanted you to feel special (you had no part in prom court at all actually there was no disappointment he was just being a punk)
“sooo, prom night..?” -johnny
“what about it” -you
“oh, nothing…”
“just drive, punk. my parents aren’t home”
a miracle he didn’t get a speeding ticket
soon enough you two had graduated and gone off to college together
although johnny had a hard time focusing on what really mattered
you two definitely partied together and he was always so protective and caring, making sure no one made a pass at you or made you uncomfortable (and if they did he’d try to fight them and you’d drag him away)
some of those nights were memorable, but he started slipping and you kept trying to keep him on the right path
he had a few wakeup calls
and proposed to you
and you accepted
and for a while, he did things right for you
but in the end, he just couldn’t grow up and you broke it off
all the fighting and drinking and partying and bailing him out of jail finally became too much and you returned the ring
“i wish it were different johnny. i really do. i thought you were the one. but i cant be with you if you’re not gonna grow up. i love you, and im sorry, but im done” -you
he was a WRECK after that he spiraled completely and cried for you for months
and he tried to get you back. he tried to straighten up and fly right but he always fell back into the same problems, and his friends were just as dumb as he was
you’d get a drunken call now and then of johnny rambling how sorry he was and how he still loves you and he wanted to change and begging you to take him back
you went on one last date with him and saw a very grim future
and realized you didn’t want to stick around to fix him
“do you still have the stuffed animal from our first date?” -johnny
“i do” -you
“promise me you’ll keep it forever” -johnny
“i promise”
his parents were so incredibly disappointed in him and that he “lost a good one”
and he never stopped beating himself up over it.
taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @an4aaa // @summersimmerus // @sapphireplums // @ravenhood2792 // @elemental-of-magic // @mauve-galaxy-427 //
#johnny lawrence#johnny lawrence x reader#johnny lawrence imagine#karate kid#karate kid x reader#karate kid imagine#cobra kai#cobra kai imagine#cobra kai x reader
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to leave the warmest bed i've ever known
pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara
summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office
warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death
word count: 4.1k
notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)
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The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun.
You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.
Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.
Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.
You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere.
When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late.
How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward.
Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange.
The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.
The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens.
Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.
That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off.
“That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.
“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected.
“You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.
The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened.
“You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned.
“Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”
Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive.
He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!”
He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.
“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.”
You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.”
He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end.
“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself.
Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.
First though, you had to find Gwen.
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a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao
NEXT CHAPTER
#miguel o’hara#miguel o'hara x reader#spiderman across the spiderverse#spiderman 2099#into the spider verse#spider-woman reader#across the spiderverse#fem!reader#fanfic#fanfiction#spiderman#spider man#spider man: across the spider verse#spiderverse
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Silent Living
Characters: Noelle, Kinich, Lynette, Beidou, Diluc x mute GN!reader
Summary: You're mute, and cant talk? not a problem for your partner, they can find other ways to communicate, and honestly wouldn't have it any other way.
Warnings: mute reader, most of them dont know sign language but there are people where i think they would either have learned it already or will learn it for you, gn reader as always
Note: hehe its kinda hard to write for Noelle tbh, i just can't see her romantically if that makes sense, its like a platonic obsession i have for her. but i chose to write for some girlies bc i felt like it, luv you :P
Noelle
She's a sweetheart and i fully believe she would try to learn sign language the day you meet for the first time. but for the sake of the cute gestures lets pretend she barely knows any words in it, or that you arent the best yourself despite probably needing it heh.
(she would teach you some if so, or learn with you)
In a classic Noelle fashion, she does literally anything for you, though people would normally just have to speak her name, you can't. so she always keeps an extra eye on you to ensure she's there when you need her help. that may be a given, but its truly what shes best at doing.
Loves writing little notes for you, whether its just so you can remember something or if its to invite you anywhere, she loves it. and she has definitely not been carrying pen and paper with her for weeks so you could write notes for each other, no no.
I dont imagine her being the best with words, but is always very good at comforting. so if you need some reassurance or just comfort you can come to her. and you can let her know to be silent by putting a finger over her mouth if you like the silence more. she wont be offended don't worry.
Kinich
Not very good with words and likes silence when possible, so it's very common for you to sit in silence doing an activity together. he's best with actions at least, both giving and receiving, so just doing a tiny chore for him would mean more than words could.
Though it may be difficult to do anything for each other since he's quite busy, and so could you be. but he always has time to sit with you for at least 30 minutes a day and just spend quality time together.
if you ever need anything from him, he has a notebook on him at all times that you're free to write in. Although Ajaw has made a fuss about it being annoying to wait for you, but he'll shut up if Kinich locks him up.
Lynette
She loves the silence you bring. being around her brother all the time can get annoying, no matter how much she loves him, so a quiet tea time with you is often just what she needs. she knows you can feel out of place or left out even since you cant communicate as easily with her siblings. but she is always ready to talk for you.
No matter how much she hates public speaking, and how often she gets her brother to speak for her, she'll speak for you. if there's anything you'd like to say, just write it down and show it to her. she might even know what you wanted to say, by how you stand and how your muscles move. so she will sometimes speak for you before you even get to start writing it down.
She has made sure you're a part of the conversation, not just there and looking around. she might have some knowledge about sign language, but she knows many do not and makes sure everyone understands you.
(she might even ask father if they can get classes in sign language, or at least the siblings of hers that you interact with most often)
Beidou
Maybe not the best at silent communication, but she tries her very best. if she doesnt know sign language she'll learn it, mostly because she feels it would make you more comfortable, but its also something that she may find interesting.
She is very good at dealing with different kinds of people though, so expect yourself to feel right at home wherever you are on her ship. she might even have started teaching her crew how to talk with you properly, whether thats getting you something write down on or learning them a bit of sign language that im not sure of.
Unfortunately it all goes in weird directions when she's drunk, while she talks for you it might be hard to get her to pay attention enough or even speak your thoughts properly. Kazuha is your savior in this case.
Diluc
He has made sure every single maid and anyone he hires learn to speak through their hands. he might even have prepared for it before you started dating, and even some of his staff you have never met before just knows how to speak with you.
Its a given that you're going to be well treated at the dawn winery, but Diluc makes sure you feel the most at home you'll ever experience. you have at least 1 maid whos ready to tend to you in a seconds notice, whether its jsut that you need something to write on or you need to know where you lover is.
Will literally drop anything for you with just a finger on his shoulder. whatever you need, he'll do it. need a hug? no need to even gesture it he knows, someone doesnt understand you at all? he's ready to talk in your place for hours on end.
I might have written it weirdly again sry, im not mute and i just like writing, Luv Ya- Masterlist
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#gn reader#noelle´s maiden#diluc x reader#diluc ragnvindr#noelle genshin impact#noelle x reader#beidou x reader#beidou#lynette x reader#lynette#kinich#kinich x reader#k'uhul ajaw#genshin impact x reader
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Yo! Can i request some Yandere high cloud quinlet (together) x male reader, that has a habit of not caring at all for his life? Like the reader despite having a good reputantion and has one of the highest potential within the cloud knights. His powers/techniques foes harm to his body. (I Dunno if you seem jujutsu kaisen when Megumi summons Mahoraga, that summoning him cost the user his life? Well put the reader in a similar situation)
CW: Yandere characters, Suicidal(?) Reader
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“Why are so intent on worrying us?” Dan Feng said as he healed your body with some strange vidyadhara technique. “Whaat? I’m not dead, and I’m pretty sure some random Mara-struck soldiers ain’t gonna kill ME” M/n had refuted, which seemed to tick off the high elder.
“That’s not the point! I’m talking about your technique!” He heaved out with frustration. M/n sighed and rolled his eyes, not wanting to hear the same speech he’d been hearing since he started. Dan Feng looked even more frustrated, grabbing his ear and harshly pulling and pinching
“Owowowow! Fuck!! Wait—!!” “Don’t get sassy with me m/n. This is serious!” He said, not hiding his frustration. M/n continued to yelp in pain. “Okay okay!! You’ve made your point!! Owowowow!!!” Just then, baiheng and Yingxinq walked in seeing Dan Feng harshly disciplining m/n.
They watched with mixed reactions, wanting to step in but also wanting to discipline you for, once again, getting them worried. “Have l?! I seem to remember ‘making my point’ to you repeatedly!! And yet you STILL go on and repeat your previous actions!!” He got increasingly more frustrated and pissed. However, before it could escalate, baiheng and yingxinq stepped in.
Yingxinq stopping Dan Feng and baiheng taking care of m/n’s hurtting ear “Calm down Feng. I’m sure he’s learned his lesson” “Don’t be a fool Yingxinq! How many times have I, Jingliu, and Jing yuan repeated this lecture with him and he has yet to take us seriously!”
“You okay sweetie~?” Baiheng said quietly, not missing the chance to get herself in m/n’s good side. He nodded and was immediately met with a slap on his nape “OW!!” “Are you trying to give us a heart attack!?” She said with worry, before he could respond, Yingqinx left a slap of his own.
“OW!! It’s a force of habit okay!? Plus, it’s not like—!” “What’s going on in here.” A colder voice sliced through m/n’s words. M/n froze as he saw jingliu walking in with jing yuan. “Good luck m/n” Yingxinq said as jingliu immediately walked angrily towards m/n.
“H-heyyyyyy jingliu…….. h-how’re you?” He nervously smiled as her red eyes glared into his. “Ahaha…I-I’m doing good to! I just came back from killing of monsters of the abundance—” “Did you use your technique?” She said, knowing the answer.
M/n stayed silent, nervously laughing and looking around to avoid the question. Jingliu had seen enough, harshly grabbing his other ear that wasn’t assaulted by Dan Feng’s wrath earlier and tugging and pinching his cheek “OWOWWWWWW!!!!!” He yelled as Jingliu DID. NOT. Hold back, making sure to dig it into his thick skull of how unacceptable his actions are.
“Are you actually this fucking dense!? How many times do I have to discipline you boy!!” She didn’t give him time to respond, her strength increasing by the second and managing to make his tear up slightly “OKAY OKAY I GET IT!!” “I DONT THINK YOU FUCKING DO!!”
Jing yuan and baiheng stepped up, both saving m/n from jingliu’s increasing wrath. “Calm down master. There’s a far more appropriate punishment then physical punishment” “Silence jing yuan! M/n needs to be reminded HARSHLY how—” “Let’s just.. hear him out jingliu” Baiheng’s reasonable voice managed to calm jingliu down.
“M/n. As General of the luofu, I’m banning you from the battlefield” “WHAT!!?” He yelled, the pain immediately being neglected as he stood up. Yingxinq keeping him from walking up to Jing yuan and throwing a punch.
“Until you grow out of this habit and change your technique, I will not allow you to rejoin the battle ground, and you WILL be arrested on sight” Jing yuan repeated with seriousness and authoritatively. M/n looked around, seeing that everyone was in agreement with this. “Your fucking kidding!” “Come on m/n. This is a reasonable reaction” “Yingxinq, you can’t actually—!” “I don’t see anything wrong with it” Baiheng interjected.
M/n growled lowly, clearly annoyed before walking away, only to be stopped by jingliu’s hand and Dan Feng’s tail. “Your not leaving our sight” Dan Feng said as m/n struggled against their grip, before giving up, deciding to try and escape later “Fine…”
-The End-
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i wrote another rambly dennis analysis and deleted it <3 y'all don't need that
#ada speaks#this happens every time im on my period like fucking clockwork there's something wrong with me#dennis' essence is contained in the ovaries#it was some shit about how he's not actually the cis male power fantasy so many idiot dudebros think he is#and that he's like. ok listen. this will sound insane and probably piss Someone off but.#dennis is like. the worst and most repressed aspects of a female power fantasy#which. the way glenn treats him is.#basically that#yes his character is inextricably linked to misogyny and male privilege but#it's almost like its coming from a perspective that lacks that and he's somewhat of a hypothetical and very opposite exploration#does this make sense#anyway i dont think i can explain this 👍 but i think he's somewhat of a guilty pleasure to write because of this#all sunny characters are sort of meant to be the Worst parts of humanity that you want to Exorcize as glenn puts it#but dennis feels so.#i don't know.#guy who fears loss of power & fights for it not bc he's aiming for the top but bc he is so afraid of being at the bottom ever again#partiarchy and all. you know.#his privilege (primarily in terms of wealth but also his gender) has been just as much of a curse as it has become a weapon#his parents' neglect & their wealth allowing them to throw money at maids lead to him being taken advantage of by an older woman at school#the view of the abuse and it being recontextualized and forced into a positive that shaped the rest of his life because men can't be raped#but i can't explain the. Thing behind this that feels so#pardon the binary#womancoded.#he's like a love interest in a pulpy romance novel written#and i think its partially because he tries to emulate that and its why he is somewhat successful with women#but i don't think it's because he's catering to them i think he's just. oddly a character that comes across like Women Writing Men#i will Not be commenting on what this says about glenn--#cw csa mention#i cant believe i deleted a post and then wrote a rant in the tags about the deleted post this is my curse#the other one was worded better too 👍
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promises under the stars
It's strange. When kisses under stairwells and behind his parents house turns to no more than passing gazes. To hatred. But this is the life you live, the life you have chosen. So you live. You will live.
Jude x fem!reader
Word count - 6.3K+ (yikes !!)
Watch it - angst with minimal fluff. enjoy ?
p.s. - i took a few creative liberties with the time lines an what not so plz take it with a grain of salt and dont think too deeply about it thank u
you can read Judes pov here !
—-----
“Jude, “ you sigh. He doesn't look at you, he's afraid of what he’ll see and you know it.
It's a warm summer night, and you sit side by side on the bleachers of his training field. You waited for hours for him to be done, all for just a few moments together. In full honesty, you're not even supposed to be here, you've been threatened from both sides. And even family overseas have joined in. it's a mess. You think you told them you were off to the library, something like that.
You pulled so many strings just to be let inside to watch training, likewise for Jude. But you're here, he's here. That's all that matters.
Only the lights on the field illuminate you, but you have memorized his face to need no light to see him. Your fingers grab into the seat under you, knuckles turning white. You're afraid. Oh so afraid.
“Please,” you try again, soft and steady, patient.
He finds the courage to face you, ripping himself from the doubt that surrounds him.
You are what plants him to reality, keeps him steady. Your smile is enough to calm any worry, wave away any woe. He hates what he has to do.
“You know this is the last time I’ll see you,” he mumbles. He can't keep risking things the way they are. There's so many eyes on you as it is. He won't put you into harm's way, even if it means parting ways to do so. He wrings his hands together. Breathe, he tries to remind himself. Breathe.
You nod, swift and curt, “I know.” oh how you know. You've been dreading this day to come for a while now. And now that it's here, what can you do?
He picks at the cuffs of his training jacket,“I told them I would marry you, but my agent said it would be unwise.”
“You would marry me?” you whisper, eyes wide.
“A thousand times over. “ he finds your hand, gently lacing it together.
“I wish things were different.” a knot in your throat forms, and tears well in your eyes.
He presses a kiss to your forehead, gently bringing you snug against him as you sob. You will never understand why your families are so adamantly against you two all of the sudden. Your whole childhood was filled with teasing and jokes of marrying one another, giggles when you would be forced to stand in pictures, but now that it was to be true suddenly the jokes faded and anger took its place.
He is good for you as you are good for him. Jude is a man like no other, patient, caring, kind, soft and easy to you yet firm to all else. He holds each door open, never forgets flowers, even when he's away. Surprises you with your favorite sweets, never misses a good night or good morning text. Buys you things you mentioned casually in a fleeting conversation, all because it comes from your lips. If you were to wish for the world he would buy it all, tied neatly and delivered to your window sill.
He takes each burden off your mind with a smile, carries your things, sends a ride to any place you wish to be. (he's working on the actual license).
You fully expected your families to be static, jumping for joy and diving straight to wedding planning. Instead you were met with a brisk, “no.”
No? No to the man who has overtaken your heart and mind? No to the man who wishes to see your flourish and bloom in every regard, every aspect, every part of life? It's cruel in a way. You once used to grimace at the idea when you were younger, fake gagging and instead choosing to wrestle with him in the grass. And now you beg to be allowed to see him.
To ban your union is one thing, but to see him at all brings too much weight on your heart.
You fought every step of the way, every step until now. It gets to be too much at a certain point, when you have to watch your very move in fear of being caught, of being seen with him. When eyes wash over you with lips upturned in sneers and whispers soon following.
The delicate facade you've built is beginning to crack at the seams. Soon there will be nothing left to keep you together. You fear going mad.
So you choose to let him go.
Your phone buzzes, prying the two of you apart. Your heart leaps to your throat. Have you been found out ?
It's just a twitter notification.
You sigh, rubbing your eyes. He rubs gentle circles on your knee. His hands are warm. Just like you remember, just like you dream of. In the gentle quiet of your room you close your eyes and wish for him.
“We can't see each other but I want to keep in touch. I'll wait for you. If you'll wait for me.” he whispers.
You see the tears begin to roll down his cheeks. Ever thoughtful Jude, waiting for you to finish crying to allow himself to do so.
“I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes. “ you nod, leaning on his shoulder.
And you do just that.
Youre forced apart when a teammate tells him to get going.
He scowls, “hold on.”
The teammate, whose name alludes you, shrugs and jogs back inside.
You stand, watching him shake the tension out of his shoulders.
“This is it then,” you mumble, lip quivering.
“Yeah,” he takes your hands in his, “guess so.”
You bit your lip to stop any more cries. He unlatches a hand from yours, brining it to cup your face gently, wiping the streaks of dried treats left on your cheeks.
“I love you,” he leans down, pressing a single kiss to your lips.
“I love you,” you nod, chasing his lips. He gives them to you. Soft and easy. You screw your eyes shut. Oh you're crying again.
You part when you can no longer breathe, foreheads pressed together while your chests heave.
“My angel,” he sobs.
“Ill find a way back,” you kiss his cheek.
He nods, here,” shaking his training jacket off and putting it on you.
Someone yells his name and he sighs. One last kiss to your forehead.
You watch him sprint down the stands, giving you one last smile before disappearing in the tunnel.
—--
Dortmund is kind to him, you watch as you flourish on the field, never missing a game. You know it's too much to go in person so you stay tucked into bed, laptop out and always always waiting for his name to be announced. Giddy as he looks at the camera. Some days you even convince yourself he's looking right at you.
He calls when he can, facetime you when he's at the facilities. Obnoxiously flexing to the camera while you laugh. You treasure these moments. The few minutes a day when the time difference allows for an overlap. Just enough to get you through to the next day. He always blows a kiss to the camera, and you alway catch it. No matter how cheesy.
“I stubbed my toe.” he whines on the other end.
You laugh, “and whose fault is that.”
“Yours.” he decides.
“Uh huh.” you shake your head fondly, raising a brow at your phone that sits on a window sill. Today you're at a cafe getting some work done. And he just finished dinner.
“Think you'll be able to come to a game soon?” he asks, voice barely a whisper.
You stop typing, frowning, “Jude…”
He shakes his head, “I'm sorry. I know. We can't.”
“Maybe in a year or so? Things should be cooled down by then.”
“Sure,” he shrugs, “they still giving you a hard time?”
You blow air through your nose, “hard time is an understatement, they've practically banned sports.” making light of the outrages situation helps you feel better some days. Jude joining in helps. He always helps.
“So dramatic.” he tuts.
You nod, “so dramatic.”
—--
The year comes and goes. The texts slow down till they are few and far inbetween. You can't blame him. You watch him dominate the field in each appearance, breaking records and showing the world what you've always known, showing just how special he is.
His following count skyrockets and he gets a blue check. You feel special to be one of the few he follows. No matter how silly. Even when he doesn't reply to you and posts on his story you try not to take it too hard (you let it get to your head on bad days.)
You wait for each reply patiently like a lifeline nonetheless, connecting the two of you together. You drop everything the moment his name flashes on the screen. You try to ease the butterflies that float and twist in your stomach, the jitters that make it hard to type out responses right. But you can't help it.
He wins the German cup. And you get a call late into the night, bleary as you reach for your phone, groaning while you put it to your ear. Skipping over his face that illuminates the screen, smiling. Cheeks flush and eyes blown wide.
He giggles, “hi.”
“Hi,” you mumble back.
He giggles again, “m in your ear.”
You squint, bringing the phone in front of you and getting your first good look of him of the night.
“Hey Jude.”
“Hey love.” he sighs dreamily.
You come to your senses soon enough, scooting to sit upright, pushing your pillows around getting comfortable.
“Are you drunk?” You laugh.
“Shhh…” he puts a finger to his lips, “secret.”
You raise a brow, “you’re not doing a very good job at keeping it that way.”
Bursts of laughter bubble from his lips. Swaying side to side while. He blinks, hard, mouth open while he stares.
“ ‘M fine.” He nods. Proud of himself.
You frown, “Are you going to be okay? Are you alone?”
“Erlings with me. My best roommate.”
“Okay good. Be safe.”
“You’re so pretty.” Is what he manages to get out.
“Thank you. You should go to bed.” You smile. He’s sweet, no matter how drunk.
“But I missed you.” He pouts, bottom lip quivering and for a second you think he’s about to cry. Instead he blows a kiss to you. Of course you catch it.
“I missed you too. But it’s late, for both of us.” You lean against your pillow, blinking against the dark of your room.
He hums, tapping his finger against his chin. “I won the cup.” He blurts.
“I know love. I watched.”
His eyes go wide, “you watched me.”
You nod, “the whole game.”
He scrunches his nose, “wow.”
“You did amazing.”
“Wow.” He repeats.
You yawn, squinting against the time in the little corner of your phone.
“Jude.”
“Hm?”
“Head to bed. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
He sighs, shoulders sagging, “fine.”
“I love you. “
He perks right back up. “I love you. You. You.”
You give him a little kiss to the screen and he manages to fall back on his bed sighing happily. You hear erling come in and decide to hang up. You hope he manages to get out of his kit for the night.
——
Things start to calm down on your end. It's almost like everyone's choosing to forget about the hell they've put you through. But you don't make a fuss, you are happy to have peace of mind, no matter how fleeting it may seem. It's just one step closer to being able to have him. Fully and wholly.
He calls you early into the morning. He's sitting in his house, shirt off, smiling.
“Uh oh. What's this about? “
He only smiles wider, bringing an ipad out of nowhere and showing it to you.
You squint, “jude i can't see that. “
He huffs, “here,” picking up his phone and flipping the camera to where his ipad now sits on his lap.
On the screen reads flight information, for about 2 weeks out, destination is to you. Your eyes go wide and you hear him chuckle on the other end.
“No way. No way oh my god.” you all but squeal.
He flips the camera back around, “Can't wait to see you again,” he beams.
“I missed you so much.”
“Me too.” he mumbles, lips curling in a smile.
——-
You greet him at the airport, flowers in hand. No you don’t care how cheesy it is. Even if you have to wait in the most obscure place, car parked and nerves rising. Playing with every button and switch on your dashboard, picking at every spec of dust you can reach. You got it detailed yesterday and you’re already nitpicking.
You check and recheck your phone, picking at the petals of the flowers that rest in your passenger, until his contact illuminates your screen.
You frantically answer, “hey.”
“TSA was being a bitch.” He groans.
You chuckle, “that bad.”
“The worst. Where you at?”
You look around for signs, “arrivals, right next to the luggage cart return thing. It says door D5. “
“D5. Okay okay I’m coming.”
You hum, hanging up and drumming your hands on the wheel.
He calls you again, “okay I’m walking out the door. Can you help me with the luggage?”
“Yeah-“ you unbuckle your seatbelt, putting your hazards on and stepping out of the car. You see him walk out the door and you almost drop your phone while rushing up to him.
He lets go of his carry on, opening his arms and you slip right into them.
“Hey,” he hums into your hair.
You laugh,“hey.”
You unlatch far too soon for your liking out the sounds and rush of the airport pushes you to get him in your car and outta here.
You grab his things, one carry on and one checked bag, clicking your keys and opening your trunk. He doesn’t let you do much else, lifting the suitcase and sliding it inside. Your little 4 door sedan manages to fit the checked bag in your truck. With not enough room for the carry in, it slides into your back seat.
You close the door, patting the top of your car affectionately, “there. All good to go?”
He nods, opening the door to your passenger and gasping, “flowers?” Eyes going wide, eyebrows shooting in and looking at you. Lips parted.
Oh yes. You forgot about those. “Haha. Yeah. Flowers.”
He picks them up gingerly, setting them into his lap as he gets into the seat. “Are these for me?”
You hop to the driver's side, buckling your seatbelt, “duh.”
He giggles,”they’re sweet.”
“Smell them.”
He does, putting his face in the petals, “woah.”
“Best flowers in town.”
“Smells like. Fresh laundry.” He nods.
“Laundry. You called my flowers laundry.” You sigh.
He swats your arm, “it’s a compliment jeez. Just landed and you’re giving me a hard time.”
“Yeah yeah buckle up.” You flick his arm.
The ride home is one filled with animated stories to catch up the time between you two. Completely oblivious to anything else as you drive with one hand, and the other plays with his fingers.
You get to your little apartment, parking and getting his things out. Sliding your key card over the sensor and you guide him to the lobby.
You roll over to the elevator and hit the button. Sniffling while it heads up.
“Are you sick?” He narrows his eyes at you.
“Nah.”
“Mkay.”
The elevator dings and you find your way to your little home, unlocking the door and motioning him inside.
“Ta da!”
He snorts, “I’m excited.”
“You should be. Best house this side of the equator.”
He rolls his things inside, shaking his head, “so there’s better on the other side?”
You shrug, “there might be.”
He collapses on your couch the moment he sees it. Closing his eyes and sighing deeply.
“Shoes off at the door Jude.” You slide yours off and set them next to your shoe rack.
He groans, kicking them off and trudging back to set them next to yours.
By the time you put his things in your room, he's out like a light, snoring softly.
—--
You let him sleep, by the time he comes back to it it's dinner time. Groggy and cranky he pads over to your dining table, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes but reaching for you.
He finds you eventually, plating the last bit of food while he wraps his arms around you, leaning into your back. You stifle a laugh while he mumbles something about you being mean. You only roll your eyes, unlatching his grip.
“Time to eat baby.”
He only purses his lips, leaning against yours. You give him what he wants. Pressing a gentle kiss and guiding him to his seat. A sleep Jude is a clingy one you've learned.
He eats all you make, complimenting and praising you after every bite.
“You're so good at this.” he sighs, taking a sip of his water.
“Anything for my favorite boy.”
He preens at this, smiling wide.
He's only here for the next three days but you'll take anything you can get.
——-
Jude worries for you.
Even in the gentle lull of your ac that fans his face while you're fast asleep against him.
He wonders who much longer he can keep doing this. Holding onto hope that down the line he will still have you.
His time is running out with you. It feels just like the day you parted at the stadium. Crying. He noticed you kept the jacket, neatly tucked in your closet.
It makes him frown. Making you waste your youth waiting for him.
Part of him wants to keep you for him and only him. Keep waiting and hoping things will work out. Another part of him, much less excited, wishes for you to look him in the eye and tell him you don't love him anymore.
One of you has to do it, he thinks.
Even if you move in with him and you get married. Is it worth the fall out? His mother hates you. His father cant stand hearing your name at the dinner table on the few days they eat together.
He knows the sentiment is shared on your end.
But he loves you. Oh how he loves you.
—--
After he leaves you don't hear from him for months on end your worry rises, and when the replies also shorten, your fear takes a hold of you. Sensibility out the window and in comes every insecure thought.
He's found a hot shot model to be with hasn't he. Or better yet a female player. Reporter perhaps? You're not dumb or blind, you know you're not the only one who sees how handsome he is. He's growing into his features beautifully. But does he see you?
Is he leaving you behind now, as his life and career continue to accelerate at speeds you can barely keep up with, is he no longer waiting for you ?
—--
Jude finds his routine once again. Training playing, training playing. It's a little dull, he thinks.
Much better if you would be here.
But he can't have that.
He stops himself from talking to you. It feels wrong. He can't shake off the feeling that he's only doing you wrong by making you keep up with him. So he slowly distances himself.
—--
He cant stay away. Not even if he tries.
He surprises you near your birthday. Completely unannounced while you're in the middle of cleaning.
You open the door to a jittery Jude who grabs you close, pressing his lips firm to yours.
“Hello to you too,” you giggle in between kisses.
Peck! “You're so-” peck!, “beautiful.”
You shoo him away, getting his things inside as he takes his shoes off at the door.
“I missed you so much, “ he mumbles against the crook of your neck.
“Me too,” you sigh, clutching into his hands like a lifeline.
“I got you tickets?”
You look up at him, “okay. Ill go.”
He attacks you with a hundred more kisses, bursts of laughter spilling from the both of you. You dont think youve ever been happier.
—--
You do go. Sitting in the fancy VIP section while watching him warm up. You almost forgot he’s at Madrid now. Big leagues huh.
He sends small waves your way in between exercises. And you only watch fondly.
When it's time for the actual match, you can't believe you get to watch him score. And he points right to you.
You love him. Oh how you love him.
He finds you after it's all set and done. Kissing you silly while he ignores the hundreds of notifications that make his phone buzz and sputter on the table.
You frown, “who is that.”
He chews his lip, “prolly just the guys,” leaning back into your lips.
You're forced to part ways when the calls flood in, promising to see you soon when he takes care of things.
He doesn't come back to see you, instead leaving you to head back to your hotel alone. You try not to think too deeply into it. But you fear you are already starting to lose him. After everything really has passed and fizzled out to nothing but memories. You fear it's all too late.
—--
You see him only once more during your stay in madrid. When youre all packed and leaving. He presses kisses to your skin whispering promises. And you believe him.
When you land back home you go back to your routine of watching him from afar. And again the replies shorten. So much so you only get the odd text every few weeks. Until it turns to months. And you're back to radio silence.
It's almost a self pity party, trying to keep up with him. Even now that you can go see him, he can come see you, does he even want that anymore?
You crave to talk to him, to know him, to go back to the closeness you once shared. You know that's no longer your place in his life. You were someone he once treasured. Now you're another unanswered dm that lays in his inbox.
Does it hurt you as much as it does him? You don't think so. Not when pictures of him on vacation with his “friends” surface. Who even are these people? You don't recognize a single face. It fills you with rage.
Almost like he's trying to erase his past life with this new squeaky clean image of the perfect player with the perfect life. Friends and all.
Is he ashamed of you?
You fight the urge to call his mom and stir up trouble from the past. So instead you hunker down in your room and try to keep yourself busy and mind off of Jude. This turns out to be much easier said than done.
—--
Jude finds himself in another after party, wearing clothes much too expensive to be getting champagne sprayed all over them. But what else can he do?
He crafted this image delicately. Can't turn back now.
There's a woman who keeps whispering into his ear. She's not you. No matter how much his teammates howl and egg him on. He can't bring himself to do so much as face her.
He's not interested, gently moving her aside while he nurses his drink.
She scoffs, calling him a slew of names. He frowns, excusing himself and making a beeline for the bathrooms. Locking himself inside a stall and leaning on its walls.
He calls you. Of course he does. And you pick up.
“Hey Jude.” he can hear the smile in your voice.
“Hey love.”
“What's up?”
He sighs, long and drawn out, “I just miss you.”
You snort, “really because it seems like you've been having a blast on beaches with people i've never heard of.”
Oh.
“It's not like that-”
“Jude. don't lie to me. If you've found someone else, tell me now.”
“I havent I swear. They really are just friends.”
“Why didn't you tell me you were going?” you whisper.
There's a beat of silence. And Jude can't find the answer. Looking at the ceiling of the club like it will magically come to life and give him just the right combination of words to make both of you happy.
You sigh, “if we are going to make anything work I can't be out of the loop this much Jude. I can't know things after paparazzi do okay?”
“Okay,” he replies, meek.
“Where even are you?”
He licks his lips, “this after party thing.”
“Its in a club isn't it.”
He doesn't answer but it's confirmation nonetheless.
“Dont be stupid and start calling me more.”
He opens his mouth to answer, but you've already hung up. He rubs his eyes and head out the stall. Washing his hands and splashing some water on his face.
When he gets back out there, he decides to call it a night. Ignoring the groans and frowns he gets.
When he's back in bed. He's looking at flights to see you again.
—--
Jude gets a call a few weeks later.
It's right after he gets back from training. Hasn't even changed yet.
The number is unknown and he ignores it the first time. Setting his phone on the dinning table and kicking his shoes off.
When it calls back two more times he picks up.
“Hello?” he scratches the back of his head.
“You know why im calling.” its your father.
Jude scrambles to take a seat, chewing his lips. What does he mean know why. He hasn't talked to you in a few days.
“Um, I really don't know-” he gets cut off.
“This will be my last warning to you. You are not going to ruin my daughter's life i dont give a damn how old you are, how old she is. None of this player nonsense. She has a proper education. You aren't going to ruin that for her, do you understand?”
Silence.
“I swear if I hear you coming around her or talking to her I will sue you and your whole family.”
The line goes dead and Jude sighs. Great. Just great.
He calls his lawyer, seeing if it would be legal to sue.
His lawyer hums, “well they can come at you from any angle really. Emotional distress possible defamation. Id lay low for now.”
So he does just that. Yet again going silent on you.
—--
He hears wind that people have put two and two together. Your instagram has been flooded with requests. You've always had it private but you've been forced to change your user name and picture.
You don't know how but pictures from when you saw him in Madrid have resurfaced.
And have gone more than just viral. It's all people are talking about.
Your work life has gone from just pleasantries and work only talk to people crowding around you begging to know more. You've had people show up to your workplace for god's sake. Begging to be let in so they can see you.
Jude calls you, worried. “I'm so sorry I don't know how pics were even taken. I'm so sorry im so sorry.”
“I don't know what to do Jude i've never dealt with this kinda stuff.” you mumble.
“Hey, hey its okay. Ill get you in contact with a security company dont worry leave it to me.”
“Okay.”
“For now. I dont think ill be able to see you anytime soon.”
“Thats okay.”
“Be safe yeah?”
“Yeah.”
—--
Your family is in a complete uproar. They blame Jude. of course they do. Your father talks about suing him but you turn it down.
“He didnt mean for this to happen.”
Your mother shakes her head, “this is why we told you to stay away from him.”
You dont regret any moments with him.
It takes a while. A grueling few months for your life to finally go back to normal. But Jude rarely comes back like before.
You watch the months turn to years flashing by. Facetimes become a luxury of your past self. Calls are reserved for special occasions like an aged wine. Only brought out sparelily. You get one on your birthday but it feels forced. Heavy and filled with all too much silence.
You've tried calling, texting. Rarely receiving the time of day. Who is Jude to you anymore?
“Hey, “ he smiles. A picture perfect rehearsed one. You almost forgot what he sounded like when speaking to you. How long has it been now?
“Hi.” You mumble.
“Happy birthday. Sorry I couldn’t be there.”
You shrug, “it’s okay.”
Silence while you pick your nails.
“Any plans?”
“I don’t know, maybe dinner with friends.”
“Oh Emily?”
You want to roll your eyes. You haven’t spoken to Emily in years.
“No Jude. We’re not in touch anymore. New friends I’ve met”
He mouths a silent “oh”.
He wants to tell you why he's been gone for so long. But unfortunately he's caught up in a legal battle. Your father actually went ahead with it. And he's stuck trying to make sense of it.
The maniac got good lawyers. And he's using every last bit of the law to win it. Using the leaked pictures that caused you so much trouble as his main leverage.
He's been advised not to talk to you. But it's your birthday. And now seeing you moved on, new friends, new life. It feels like it's time to let go.
For your sake. He's only brought problems into your life. And you live a life now without him. He just hopes you're happy.
—--
You see him once, passing by through the city center. You want to run after him, grab his shoulders and shake him awake, scream and yell, beg for him to remember your promise. But you do none of that. The second your gaze meets his, your heart leaps to your throat, you blink and he's gone.
You get a text from him a few days later, first since your birthday.
Was nice seeing you.
You want to cry. What did he see? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It wasn't nice. Not at all. It was awful. It ripped any piece of sense out of you and made you sick.
You dont reply.
—--
You wish you had. He gets called to the national team, and suddenly your family begins to boast of your connection to him. And that's just it. Your connection. Not theirs. Yours. You know him, you love him. Or you knew him.
After so many years of cursing his name now they all but sing it.
The local community is hosting watch parties, you refuse to go.
You know the gossip around you as is. You don't need it said to your face. These people are unforgiving on their best days, cruel on their worst. More so the older generation who seems to hold not an ounce of basic human decency.
And somehow you find yourself in a room painted in blue and white, you look away at the stares you get when you walk in. You're regretting coming at all. You're wearing a blank jersey you've had for a while, slumped in the corner of the room, watching. Waiting for the comments to pour in sooner or later.
But they don't, not for now. Instead, the room erupts with cheers and applause as Jude scores a goal, you smile. Not bad for a midfielder huh. The air is electric with excitement, but you feel detached, as if you're watching the scene unfold from a distance, picking at the plate of sweets that rests on your knee.
As the game progresses, you can't help but steal glances at Jude on the screen. He looks different now, more confident, more assured. He's cut his hair, clean and precise. And yet, there's a sadness in his eyes that mirrors your own.
You wonder if he thinks of you, if he remembers the promise he made all those years ago. Has it really been years? But the thought is fleeting, lost amidst the chaos of the crowd and the weight of your own heartache. And soon I have a headache.
When the final whistle blows and England emerges victorious, the room erupts into celebration once again. But you slip out quietly, unnoticed, lost in your own thoughts.
Outside, the night air is cool against your skin as you make your way home. You're not waiting on anyone, and it's a short walk away. The streets are quiet, the sounds of celebration fading into the distance.
You pause for a moment, taking in the stillness of the night. And in that moment, you make a decision.
You may not have chased after him when you had the chance, but you refuse to let this be the end of your story. You refuse to let fear and doubt hold you back any longer. There is no use to let yourself be defined by what ifs.
With a determined step, you pull out your phone and type out a message to Jude.
Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.
It's a small gesture, but it's a start. And as you hit send, you feel a glimmer of hope stir within you.
Maybe, just maybe, this isn't goodbye after all. Maybe there's still a chance for the two of you to find your way back to each other, to rewrite the ending of your story.
But for now, all you can do is wait. Wait for his reply, wait for the future to unfold, and wait for the day when you can finally be together again, without fear or hesitation. In a way he'll always be your Jude.
——
News reaches you in the form of an instagram post on a summer day. Not family, not friends, not him. It’s your explore page that plasters it on your screen, in the middle of your morning routine you see him all tidied up in a suit, facing away from the camera, the side of his face illuminated by soft light. Next to his side is a woman in white, you only see a peek of her face but you call tell shes smiling.
“Just married.”
Married. Just. Married.
Oh.
You don't register it at first, the words looking more like a foreign language than any coherent sentence. So you finish brushing your teeth and your hair. Moisturizing your face, slipping back into bed and rereading it over and over and over again till it finally does click for you.
He gave up on waiting.
You keep going back to the picture. He's grown into a proper man now. His features are full and bright. He's gotten a different haircut. Leaving behind the one of his youth. You read through the comments of teammates and old friends congratulating him.
You realize the tie he's wearing is the one his dad got him when he first left for dortmund. You think you're gonna be sick.
No one bothers to ask why you've been crying all day. It's safe to assume everyone knows by now, hell the whole population probably does.
What changed his mind? What made it that he couldn't even bother to let you know beforehand?
And yet there's a stupid prick of hope that can't seem to go away. You're still waiting for him aren't you.
—--
As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks into months, the reality of his marriage settles heavily on your shoulders. You can't help but wonder if he thinks of you, if he remembers the promises made under the stars, if he regrets the choice he made. But you push those thoughts aside, burying them deep within you, because what good would they do?
A sick twisted idea of wrecking his home blooms in your mind, but you know you can't. You just can't. Not to him. You can't take away something like this from him.
Life goes on, as it always does, but the ache in your chest remains, a constant reminder of what could have been. You try to distract yourself with work, with friends, with anything that will keep your mind from wandering back to him. Yet, he's always there, lingering in the back of your thoughts like stardust.
You hear snippets of his life through mutual acquaintances, through social media posts, through the grapevine of gossip that always seems to find its way to you. He's thriving, it seems, his career reaching new heights, his personal life seemingly content. Apparently he has a kid on the way, would you look at that. And you can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. To top it all off you still have no clue on who this woman is. Not who she is, what she does, where she's from. Absolutely nothing, it drives you mad to say the least.
He hasn't spoken to you. Not since that day in the city center.
Maybe if you would have known all that was to come you would've gone after him. Chasing him endlessly through cobblestone stress and crowded walkways. Would he have even stopped? Given you a moment of his day?
The same man who spent his days off in your apartment kissing your worries away and promising you a tomorrow you still cling to.
You're a foolish foolish woman. And for some reason, you don't hate him. You don't think you ever could. Even after everything, every single year that's passed. A part of you will always love him.
—--
#jude x you#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x reader#jude x reader#bahr footy#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham blurb#jude x y/n#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham angst#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham fluff
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WARNING: *BANGING POTS AND PANS* THIS HAS VERY EXPLICIT SEXUAL NSFT THEMES AND LANGUAGE! Very explicit femdom, Sub!Leo, Brat!Leo, dubcon, reader is afab, very little to no romance, just pure extreme horny. I cannot stress enough that THIS IS PORN. Do not engage if it makes you uncomfortable, please! <3
Part 2
collared
"Hey." You entered Leo's room after knocking twice on the door, not bothering to wait for him to let you in.
"Ugh. What do you want?" He glared at you through his vanity mirror as you made your way towards his bed and sat on its edge. "Just because I use you on my social media doesn't mean we're actual friends, you know." Leo didn't turn around from his spot at his vanity, not even to look at you.
You sighed heavily, already expecting the verbal abuse, but you had to face it if you wanted to go through with your plan.
"I just wanted your opinion on something. It'll be quick." You said, fidgeting with the hem of your skirt right behind him, noticing how he made eye contact with you through the mirror right after you said those words.
"A favor, then? That'll cost you, honor roll." He applied a bit of his skin care oil while smirking, already enjoying the idea of getting you to follow one of his many whims.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's not a big deal though? I just have this gift I want to give to a friend of mine. He kinda has a similar style as you, so I wanted to ask you to test it for me so I can see if it looks good."
"What friend is this?" He quickly said, closing the oil bottle with a sharp pop and spinning on his footstool to face you.
"What does it matter?" You quirked an eyebrow.
"It doesn't. I just wanna know."
"It's just a friend I made in Sinostra" you bounced your leg restlessly.
"A boyfriend?"
"No."
"A hookup?"
"No..."
"Oh my. Dont tell me he's an unrequited love. That's pathetic, you know."
"No! Leo! Look, will you help me or what?" You snap, your patience that was already spread thin seemed to be fading quicker and quicker, while your anxiety rose to unimaginable peaks.
"Hmmm..." he pretended to think, pouting with a finger over his lips "Okay, since I'm such a good guy. That WILL cost you even if it's an easy request, you know?."
You nod, rolling your eyes.
"Okay, gimme the gift, let me try it."
Your hands quickly shot to your loyal purse, fishing an intricately decorated collar. It had studs and chains all over its leather base, with one big hoop attached to the front piece of the collar
Leo whistled.
"So you're saying he isn't anyone special, huh? Sounds like bullshit to me" He smirked, grabbing the collar from your hands.
You shrugged. "He likes this kind of stuff, what can I say?"
Leo hummed, opening the latch after turning back to face the mirror
"I'm kinda surprised you got the money to buy something like this though? You look like you have no money nor fashion sense, so that's interesting... Hm…” he hums, after securing the latch. “It looks good, but let's be fair: it's kinda easy for things to look good on me. Don't know if we can't say the same for your mysterious boyfriend."
Leo rambled after putting on the collar, failing to see how you got up and walked closer to him, your eyes darkening at the sight of the collar hanging on his neck.
You stood awkwardly behind him as he ran his fingers through his hair, admiring himself on the mirror, until he acknowledged your presence.
"What is it? Did you like it so much on me that you're regretting giving your horny gift to someone else, Honor Roll? Wouldn't blame you."
You licked your lips and gulped harshly, while he kept on admiring himself.
"Stay." You murmured quietly, but loud enough for Leo to hear.
As soon as the word left your lips, Leo's arms moved to his sides straight away. His body stuck in his seated position, almost unmoving, in the blink of an eye.
"H-huh...? What happened?" His eyes widened at the strange feeling of his body moving on its own accord. He locked eyes with you through the mirror again, seeing your pleasantly surprised expression. "Wait... what the fuck did you do, bitch?"
"Q-quiet." You said, a little louder this time.
Leo's mouth closed instantly, shutting him up.
"Haha... hahaha!! It really did work!" You laughed in disbelief, walking even closer to him once again, your gaze running through his body, checking thoroughly whether your plan had worked for real or not.
Leo only managed to follow you with his widened eyes as he stayed quiet and unmoving on his seat.
You sighed, satisfied with your work and shimmied yourself between him and his vanity mirror, sitting on top of his desk. Your feet rested right beside his thighs as you looked down at him.
"Ah Leo... I've been wanting to do this for a while, you know?" You murmured, pulling out a chain from your back pocket and leaning closer to his face. He was breathing heavily, nostrils flared and angry and wide eyes darting to your every movement.
You tugged on the hoop of the collar, snapping the chain on it with a satisfying click.
"You act so high and mighty, so proud of how badly you treat everyone around you... it's so fucking annoying. But you know that, don't you?"
You dragged a finger slowly on his cheek as you spoke.
"You think the whole world is supposed to answer to your whims when you don't give anything back to anyone. You treat people like trash even though your soul is the dirtiest of everyone around here, but… you also know that, don't you?"
You squeezed his cheeks with one hand, puckering his lips as he kept on breathing deeply and loudly.
"You know what I think?" you asked him, leaning towards his ears.
"I think a bad boy like you needs to be punished" you whispered, watching as goosebumps formed on his skin once you licked and bit his ear lobe, pulling his earring with your teeth a little too harshly.
All he could do was groan wordlessly.
"So, to do that, I managed to sneak away this collar for you. It's for anomalies, you know? To make them act like well behaved puppies. Everything that you're not." you leaned back, pleased to see the slightly red tint on his cheeks
"But I'm not a demon like you, obviously. I think you know quite well what kind of punishment I want to give you... but if you don't want it, I'll be happy to just make you obey me like a good, well behaved dog for a little while. Now that I got that collar on you, it's easy."
You pulled the chain towards you and hovered your face mere inches from his own, your lips barely brushing against his, but not quite kissing him.
"Speak."
As soon as you said the command, Leo puckered his lips, closing off the distance between you two, with his pierced tongue quickly pushing its way between your lips.
You smiled triumphantly, breaking the kiss before he could try to feel your tongue against his
"Ah-ah." you waved your finger in a negative motion. "Did I say you could do that?"
"You're a sick bitch." he breathed out, looking flustered.
"Oh my. Good boys don't say such bad things like that, Leo. I guess you do need some proper training." You said, pouting, feigning shock over his words.
"You're... you're sick." he repeated, shaking his head.
"Keep quiet or I'll silence you again." You said bluntly, pulling his collar tightly as you lifted your hips to pull down your panties.
Leo's eyes followed the way your underwear was haphazardly discarded on his bedroom's floor. Suddenly, however, his gaze snapped back to the way your skirt still hid your intimacy, as he licked his dried lips.
You were sick for sure, but since his heart kept beating a mile per hour and his stomach churned in awful anticipation, what did that make him, then?
He shook his head, fast.
"No way. No. That's disgusting. I won't fucking do that."
You cocked your head to the side, genuinely caught off guard.
"Disgusting?"
He avoided looking at you, as you raised an eyebrow.
"How many girlfriends and boyfriends have you had before, Leo?" you asked, mockery dripping from your tone "Are you telling me you never gave head to anyone just because you think it's disgusting?"
Leo flinched and kept avoiding your gaze, lips sealed as if you commanded him to be silent again.
"Oh dear. Are you telling me you never made any of your exes cum, Leo? Are you telling me you've never even satisfied someone?" You said, the smile sounding clear in your voice as he furrowed his brows deeply.
"Now THAT's pathetic. But it's okay, baby."
His eyes twitched at the petname.
"I'll make sure you'll eat me out properly" you tugged the chain to make him look at you. You opened your legs and lifted your skirt, allowing him to see the puffy lips of your pussy, and his eyes widened, as if he was seeing one for the first time in his life.
"You're so selfish you never even cared to please your exes... I feel so sorry for them. Do you even know what a clit is? Or do you just know about dicks since you have one between your legs?"
"Of course I know what a fucking clit is” he spat defensively and way too quickly, making you smile deviously.
"Then won't you be a good boy and suck mine?"
Leo's eyes were locked into the sight of your pussy in front of him, his ears burning red after hearing your bold command request.
You had read him so quickly, it was frustrating.
Indeed, he always avoided servicing his exes, way too focused on just achieving his own high.
Sex was nothing more than a way for him to get a bit of pleasure from time to time and nothing else. He never cared much about who allowed him to orgasm, he didn't care if it was a man or a woman, as long as he could get his own satisfaction quickly – and then it was back to his influencer grind. If his partner was left high and dry, it was none of his problem.
So, yes, as soon as he came, he would simply turn around and either leave to clean himself up, or nap.
At that moment, however, he couldn't look away from the sight of your folds in front of him and the way you clenched around nothing, anticipating his ministrations.
He had nowhere to run, truly, but he wasn't fully convinced that he wanted to run – what with his heartbeat drumming loudly in his ears.
Leo approached you slowly, letting his tongue loll out of his mouth before he sunk into you, tentatively licking a long stripe on your pussy.
Your breath hitched on your throat and the little gasp you let out made him flinch and look up at you.
The taste was weirdly astringent and the smell was strong and musky, which didn't really appeal to him. But when he looked into your eyes, glazed with lust, he dived in deeper once again.
Leo explored you with his tongue, giving long kitten licks on your entrance, his piercing grazing against your most sensitive parts, making your legs spasm.
"A-ah... the piercing... fuck, it feels good..."
Much to his dismay, he felt his chest swell with pride at your praise.
"You... you are allowed to use your hands..." you said, half moaning, half murmuring.
At that, Leo felt himself gain control over his arms once again, which immediately moved to open up your folds with one hand, as he inserted one long finger inside you with the other.
While he kept your pussy spread open, his lips curled against your clit, sucking it harshly as his pierced tongue swirled around the sensitive bud, which elicited a loud moan from you – half pain, half mind-numbing pleasure.
"Ohhhh fuck! Slow down! You don't have to suck so harshly..."
His yellow eyes locked on your face and he began flicking his tongue against your clit instead, making sure to have his piercing graze against it.
"Fuckfuckfuckfuck oh my fucking god yes... Yes, keep doing that, that's perfect" you ran your fingers through his hair, pulling it tighter, feeling the dampness of sweat on his scalp.
"You can put one more finger now" you murmured, and he complied after a little pause, consciously thinking about which movements he had to make next.
"Look at you being a good boy and doing so well for me" you panted, smiling down at him.
Leo despised the way your compliment went straight to his groin.
"Now curl your finger up like a hook." you commanded, legs and hips spasming once he managed to do as you said.
With a loud moan, you pushed his head closer to you, grinding against his face while you rode the orgasm that had washed over your body with his ministrations.
Leo lifted his head up to look at you, lips glistening with your cum. You panted and smiled, satisfied, a sheen of sweat covering your body, making you shine under the warm light of his bedroom
"See? Was that so bad?" you asked, once you managed to catch your breath.
Leo looked to the side, doing his best to look as annoyed as he could.
"It was disgusting, just as I thought it would be."
"Oh? Really?" you asked, sarcasm loud in your voice "Funny, because I could swear this thing here means you liked it a lot" you finished, pressing one of your feet against the bulge that had formed in his pants. He couldn't control the gasp that escaped his lips as you rubbed him, his hips bucking forward, unconsciously seeking the friction.
"Look at that, you're leaking… Now, now, no need to hump me so desperately” you shimmied your way out of your position, standing right beside Leo as he was still unable to move properly.
"Get up and go lay down on your bed."
The command resounded, loud and clear, and Leo couldn't keep himself from fulfilling it. Cursing under his breath, he clenched and unclenched his fists, the only thing he could do to protest.
He laid down, widened eyes following you as you stood beside him.
"You don't need to look so scared. As I said, I'm not a monster. I'm not going to hurt you." you said, as you began fiddling with the buttons of his shirt and pants "I'm just going to show you how meanies like you should get punished."
Freeing him of all his clothes, you licked your lips, looking at his nude body splayed on the bed and vulnerable, all yours for the taking. Leo's cock stood half mast, the tip wet and an angry red, much to his chagrin.
Leo clicked his tongue, still doing his utmost to sound as repulsed as he could about the idea of you touching him.
He just didn't know anymore if he was trying to convince you or himself.
"I didn't know you were such a perverted bitch." he spat out.
"Perverted?” You barked out a laugh “I guess I can't expect you to have explored anything if you didn't even eat out your exes." you ran a finger over his abdomen, ignoring the razor sharpness of his words.
"You know, if you were a good boy, things would be so different." you pouted dramatically, nails digging a bit deeper into his skin, making the muscles in his abdomen tense up "If you were a good boy, I'd be rewarding you right now. I'd take my sweet time kissing your body, I'd praise you and run my hands all over you and then I'd ride your cock until you came inside me."
You smiled as you saw him gulp.
"But you aren't a good boy, so you get none of that." you finish, flicking one of his pebbled nipples and making him gasp.
"I- I didn't ask for you to do anything.” he stuttered in spite of himself.
You tilted your head to the side and raised an eyebrow.
"I know. Just like I didn't ask for you to call me useless and then use me as your fake girlfriend online, but you still did it anyway, right?"
Leo stared at you, anger still flashing on his face.
"That's why I'm doing this.” You shrugged. “I think it's about time I get my little revenge, hm? And what better way than to have you moan like a whore for me" you winked, grabbing a bottle of lube from inside your purse.
You could hear his sharp intakes of breath, chest heaving up and down while you sat beside his hips. A thick glob of lube fell from the bottle and onto him and you smiled when he flinched against the sensation of you clumsily smearing his cock with the sticky liquid.
After you deemed it properly lubed, you circled your hands just almost near his tip and stopped. Leo groaned in anticipation.
“Go on” you said, a sickening sweet smile gracing your features at the sight of him already so flustered when you had barely touched him.
“W-what?” he breathed out.
“If you wanna feel good, you're gonna have to fuck my hand.”
Leo widened his eyes for a second and then shut them tightly, turning his head away. He hissed like an angry street cat being denied food.
“What, you don't want to feel good?” you tilted your head, mockery clear in your voice.
“This is so fucking embarrassing” he spat, a scowl distorting his pretty features.
“Well” you shrugged, but still kept your hand in place “If you don't want to feel good, it's okay.”
“Why don’t you just order me to do it then? You can make me do anything with this fucking collar”
“I'm not gonna do anything you don't actually want to do.”
He was silent for a second, before he scoffed, loud and sarcastic.
“Well, I didn't want to be in this situation.”
Your mouth opened into an ‘o’, like what he said was a groundbreaking revelation, and you nodded.
“Fair enough. Then we'll stop.” you retracted your hand and began moving away from him.
Leo's head snapped towards you and he wiggled his body as much as he could in protest.
“N-no!” he yelled, still squirming in place, unable to actually get up from the bed.
“Hm?”
Leo opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Was he really going to ask that perverted, gross NPC to keep going? Was it even worth it to think too much about it?
His mouth moved before his mind could come to a conclusion.
“Don't leave… Don't- don't stop.”
A wicked smile slowly spread across your features.
“Then ask for it” you said, matter of factly, drinking in the sight of his flustered face.
“Fuck you.”
You tutted, pouting.
“That's not asking.”
“Okay, goddamnit, fuck. Please put your fucking hand there again.” he growled, through gritted teeth.
“Hmmm… That doesn't sound super nice.” you slid your hand down his shaft once, tightly. Leo choked out a moan, eyes fluttering shut.
“Please. Please.” he murmured, voice frantic and desperate.
“Please what?” you asked, gently rubbing the pad of your index finger against his tip, smirking when his cock twitched.
“Please, let me fucking cum.” he finally begged through a whisper.
“See? Now that wasn't so hard, was it?” you put your hand back on its spot, and the sensation of your palm and fingers firmly encircling his head already made him gasp. “Now go on. Move your hips for me.”
Leo begrudgingly moved his hips upwards, moaning at the feeling of your hand squeezing his length.
“Is this good enough?” you asked, trying to make sure he wasn't uncomfortable despite it all.
Leo nodded frantically, hips beginning to move at a faster pace. His mouth parted open, short mewls spilling out as he fucked himself into your hand. He hated to admit that it felt like a perfect fit.
Your mouth watered. Wasn't he such a pretty boy when he was cumbrained and dumb.
“Look at you, fucking yourself silly into my hand. What would your followers think of this if they saw you being a slut for me, hm?” you murmured, and his pace began to quicken after your words, the lewd sound of lube squelching between your fingers and his hard cock making him curl his toes.
You murmured encouragements as he kept on bucking his hips up, fully forgetting about any decorum while loud moans came out of his mouth and his eyes rolled to the back of his head.
When you began to feel his dick twitch in your hand, however, you let go, a crazed smile on your lips as he kept rutting his hips upwards and onto nothing, chasing the release you deprived him of.
“Hu-huh? Whyyy…” He asked, pathetic and needy, with a few tears glistening at the corner of his eyes.
“Don't want you to cum on my hand.”
He still looked out of it when you positioned yourself between his legs, not truly processing what you were planning on doing.
Your hands glided under his sweaty thighs and you pushed them towards him, giving you a better access to his leaking length.
When your tongue lolled out and you sucked his angry red tip, Leo's back arched completely out of the bed, his arms and legs spasming at the feeling of your warm mouth swallowing him deeper and deeper.
“N-no, that's, noooo…” he hiccuped, tears now falling freely down his cheeks, overwhelmed with the sensation.
You let him go with a lewd pop.
“Don't want it?” you asked, breathing heavily.
He had his eyes closed, brows scrunched upwards in a pained expression. Like the pleasure was too much for him to handle.
“I-it's disgusting… I'm gonna end up cumming…” he whined.
You arched an eyebrow.
“That's the whole point. I want you to cum while I suck you.”
He whimpered at your crass words.
“Do you want me to suck you or not?” you opened your mouth, letting your tongue hover next to his tip.
Leo fluttered his lashes, blinking away the tears, and arched his back, rutting his hips towards your lips, refusing to actually answer.
When you wrapped your lips on his cock again, he let himself plop against the mattress, legs stretched and taut as a bow string.
Who would've thought Leo would become so whiny and needy, you thought, smirking to yourself.
You swirled your tongue around his angry red tip, feeling the salty taste of his precum before slurping it softly and letting it out with a pop, as if you were just sucking on a lollipop.
Leo squirmed against the bed, chasing your lips unconsciously with a needy whine. Every single nerve ending of his body was alight. Everywhere you touched seemed to frustratingly send him closer to an edge he never actually explored.
You smiled against the feverish skin of his length and let him inside your mouth once again.
You bobbed your head slowly, up and down, cheeks hollowing as you sucked him and felt the hard throb of his heart in the veins of his cock – the satisfying thump thump thump of his painfully hard length pulsating inside your mouth.
One hand held his bucking hips down while the other fondled his balls, already heavy and tightening, begging for release.
“Mhmmm! I'm gonna- I'm gonna-” Leo mewled and gripped your hair, trying to push you away from his body. You grasped his wrists to keep him from effectively pushing you, finally letting his hips move freely.
He immediately moved his hips upwards, thrusting rapidly into your mouth and desperately chasing his orgasm, fully forgetting how he was trying to get you off of his cock just mere seconds ago.
His cock touched the back of your throat and you gagged – your moans of protest sending vibrations through his length. He rolled his eyes back and gave one final, stuttering thrust, spilling his cum onto your tongue and down your throat.
He groaned loudly, abs tensing as he saw explosions of white behind his eyelids, shaking from the shocks of his orgasm. You relaxed your throat, allowing his load to spill down the corners of your mouth and swallowing whatever managed to reach your throat.
Leo exhaled loudly, relaxing his body against the mattress.
You weren't done though.
Your lips wrapped once again around his reddened head and you gave him short, harsh sucks.
Leo gasped, stifling a scream, and his legs spasmed around you, kicking the bed as you overstimulated his half-mast cock.
You licked and swirled your tongue, focusing on the bruised tip, sucking him until he couldn't keep his loud sobs to himself. Tears ran down his cheeks again while he squirmed and flailed, mind turning into mush at the overstimulation.
He arched his back, whole body spasming while you coaxed him into another orgasm, massaging his balls and suckling on his dick without allowing him a moment to breathe.
When he finally came again, letting out a high pitched moan, he barely managed to burst out into your mouth – instead, he squeezed your head between his thighs and grasped your hair with both hands, abs contracting painfully.
Once you finally let him out of your mouth, Leo looked ruined. His ears were ringing and he could barely register his surroundings. He had no strength to his limbs, feeling like a melted puddle of himself, way too focused on his own pleasure to remember he was supposed to be angry at you – not thankful for the sweet torture you just had made him go through.
You got up, watching Leo's chest heave up and down and his sweaty skin glimmer against the low glow of his room with a maniacal smile.
“Felt good?” You asked, sitting down beside him and picking up your purse. Leo blinked slowly, eyelids heavy as his cock still twitched. He was still coming down from his high, sniffling and blinking his tears away, unable to answer you properly.
You smiled and grabbed a bottle of water. Putting a hand under his head, you tipped it up and placed the bottle against his chapped lips.
“Drink it. You don't want to dehydrate now.”
He groaned and opened his mouth, drinking in large gulps. After he finished, he eyed you with curiosity as you popped a few mints into your mouth.
You raised an eyebrow at him.
“I might or might not kiss you later. I don't think you wanna taste your own cum in case I do kiss you, do you?”
Leo looked away, scrunching his eyebrows.
“N-no.”
“Yup.” You drank a few gulps of water, with the mints in your mouth. “Porn isn't very accurate to real life after all”
“I know that!” He spat, defensively.
You chuckled.
“I'm not saying you don't.” you threw the now empty bottle inside your purse, while fishing out two items and Leo’s heavy lidded eyes went wide as saucers.
“W-what is that?” he mumbled, watching you crawl close to him with two small hot pink cups in hand.
“Why am I not surprised that you don't know what these are?” you smirked.
“Can’t you just fucking tell me?” he barked, a crease appearing on his forehead.
“Oh, what a foul mouth.” You shook your head. “But okay, I’ll enlighten you.”
You leaned forward and squeezed the cups, placing their lids over his nipples.
“These are suction cups.” you let go of the silicon and smiled as Leo gasped when the cups stood firm against his skin by sucking his nipples.
“W-why?” he whispered.
“They’ll make you more sensitive, baby” you explained, as you absentmindedly fondled his soft cock. “I’ll be able to suck on them, you’ll feel good and I’ll get you hard for me again, just the way I want you.”
He breathed deeply, feeling a strange and pulsating heat where the cups were placed.
Why the fuck was he even looking forward to that? Why the fuck was he so eager to get his cock stiff for you? Until when was he going to be able to pretend he wasn’t loving that sugar pain?
After a few moments, you noticed the strange, pained look on his face as his thoughts raced a million miles per hour.
“Is it hurting?”
“N-no…” he blinked, focusing on the sensations once again. “It just feels weird.”
“Good. Let's see how you look then.”
Leo groaned when you pulled the cups out with a pop, cheeks bright red as he watched you bite your bottom lip once you saw his pink, perked nipples.
“Aw, look how cute they look, all puffy!” you cooed before leaning down and licking one of them while your hand pinched the other.
“Haaah?!” he gasped, arching his back and leaning into your ministrations.
He had absolutely no idea he could feel good from something like that.
In the back of his mind, he knew he should be spewing venom, telling you that you were a disgusting pervert for doing those types of things to him, mocking your preferences and any previous partners you might have had before.
But at that moment, Leo could only feel the shock of pleasure go straight into his cock.
You suckled on his puffy, perked nipple while your hand rolled the other between your fingertips, switching sides and relishing on the vibrations of his chest as he groaned.
Leo's head shook from side to side, with his eyes shut – he didn't know what to do with himself as he felt aroused from having you pinch and pull and roll his nipples around your fingers. He didn't even know he could feel any pleasure from that.
“Look at that, guess you're coming to life again, huh?” you asked, and Leo opened his eyes, heavy lidded and watery, to see what you meant.
Between his legs, his cock was already chubbing up.
“A-ah…” he whimpered, rubbing his thighs together and shaking his head.
“Do you wanna stop?”
He snapped his eyes towards you, wide and desperate, as if the whole notion of stopping could absolutely break him.
“Okay, okay” you huffed out a laugh “Just checking.”
You grabbed your bag and crawled back towards his waist, sitting between his legs once again. Meanwhile, Leo's amber eyes followed your every movement, tongue darting out of his mouth to lick his chapped lips in anticipation.
He had completely forgotten to pretend he hated it all.
“We're gonna use this now” you announced, holding out a fleshlight for him to see and pumping obscene amounts lube inside it.
Leo was quiet as he observed you, and the sudden silence weirded you out.
“What, don't tell me you don't know what a fleshlight is!” you smirked.
“Of course I know!” he yelled, cheeks flushed with anger and embarrassment.
“Then what is it?” you raised an eyebrow while you wiggled in place, trying to find a comfortable position between his legs.
He opened his mouth, yet stayed quiet. You patiently waited for him to say whatever was on his mind.
“You… won't- um.” he cleared his throat. “You won't, uh. We won't- we won't have normal sex?” he murmured, avoiding your eyes.
Your face lit up, as you understood what he meant.
“Oh, you mean to ask if I'm gonna let your cock inside my pussy?” you said, enunciating the words clearly.
He flinched, but nodded.
“No." you said, matter-of-factly and blunt. "You don't deserve it. Maybe once you become a good boy.”
Leo was about to complain, when you placed the fleshlight against his dick and, with a swift movement, pushed it down, squeezing the gooey toy around his member.
“Wo-AH!” Leo moaned loudly, back arching and toes curling right beside you. “T-that's tight! That's too tight!”
“Yeah?” you smiled “And that's all you're gonna get, baby. So think about how I'd be so much more tighter while I fuck you with this, how about that?”
You observed his reactions, almost drooling at the sight of Leo squirming and twitching while you jerked his cock with the toy.
The loud squelching sounds of his cock spreading the soft walls of the toy went straight to your pussy, and you could feel a wet puddle forming under you – but you had your mind set. Leo wasn't getting any rewards. You'd have to deal with yourself once you got back to your dorm.
Leo's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he clenched his teeth, muffled mewls escaping his mouth as he met your movements with clumsy thrusts.
“Feels good?” you asked, voice loud through the plap plap plap of the fleshlight against his sweaty skin.
“Mmhhmm! So good! So good!” he answered, tongue lolling out as he couldn't control the high pitched ah! ah! ah! in time with your ministrations.
Suddenly, one of his hands found your wrists, and he grabbed it, nails digging on your skin.
“Let me- hnng- ah! let me be inside” he said, breathlessly, through his moans.
“Hm?” you eyed him, almost laughing as he whined when you stopped your movements.
“Let me be inside you.” he repeated, voice raspy and lips chapped. You rolled your eyes and began moving the toy again.
“You aren't giving any orders around here, baby.”
“Fuckkkkk” he gasped, throwing his head back and you bit your lips as you thought about how sensitive he was.
“Can I please- ma-may I please be inside you? Please? Please? Let my dick inside you?” he whined, glittering tears rolling down his cheeks as he closed his eyes to be able to beg and ignore the gaping wound in his pride.
“Awww” you cooed, rubbing salt onto the wound “Look at you, being so polite! But no, you can't.”
His eyes snapped open, wide.
“No, noooo, whyyyyy…” he groaned, still pounding the toy, sweaty skin sticking to the silicon that was overflowing with lube and precum.
“Because you don't deserve it, remember? I'm doing this to put you in your place, you should be plenty happy I even let you eat me out.”
He whimpered and mumbled incoherent words in protest, hips jutting upwards in an erratic pace.
“It's okay, you can spill everything here, baby. Look at that, you're all clumsy! You're about to cum, aren't you? Go ahead, fill this up.” you encouraged him, squeezing the fleshlight a bit tighter and torturing him with a faster pace.
“Ghhhnnnn-! Aahhh…” his abs went rigid as he curled into himself and spilled his cum into the toy with a pornographic moan, hips stuttering against your hands.
You rode him through his orgasm, the squelching sound louder as his cum dripped down his shaft and onto the mattress.
“That's right, you did great” you praised him while your movements slowed down until you stopped and watched him pant heavily, fully relaxed against the mattress.
Leo's eyes were heavy lidded and his breathing was beginning to get deeper, but you lightly tapped his cheek with your hands.
“I'm gonna clean these up in your bathroom.” you lifted the suction cups and the fleshlight and he blushed at the sight of his own cum. “Don't go to sleep. You need to clean up. But before that, take these.”
You handed him a candy bar and another water bottle before moving to pick up your panties, long forgotten at the corner of his bedroom.
“How did you fit so much stuff into that ugly bag?” he muttered, voice heavy with tiredness, while he opened the snack.
You raised an eyebrow at him, while you walked to his bathroom.
“You have to be prepared when you do this sort of thing” you answered, after you finished cleaning the toy and stuffed it inside your bag “Like I said… porn isn't accurate to real life.”
“I know that.” he said again, the bite in his words barely there this time around, and you laughed.
“Well. If you're a good boy from now on, maybe I can show you other stuff you need to be prepared for.” you winked, throwing the bag onto your shoulder.
Leo blinked slowly, digesting your words. And then a devilish smirk spread out on his features.
“Or I can still treat you the same and get punished like this again. I would mind at all. And I bet you wouldn't as well, perverted honor roll."
You rolled your eyes.
Leo would never learn.
Please reblog this if you liked it because it legit took me so long to write this, it was SO HARD and I need some words of affirmation fr thank you xox
#tokyo debunker#nsft#femdxm#dom!reader#sub!leo kurosagi#leo kurosagi#leo kurosagi x reader#if this flops i will cry
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Friends to Lovers
Summary: Y/n and Spencer are coworkers and best friends. She invites him over for their usual movie night. Feelings are discussed.
TW!: FLUFF, kissing, alcohol, feelings, Spence being goofy, not proofread lol, lmk anything else I missed.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem reader
A/N: Hey guys! This is my first fic post. I hope you guys like it. Please let me know any other recs for fics. And let me know how I did but be nice 🙈
ALSO- should I make this fic into a series????!??!??!!??!
Spencer and y/n had been best friends and inseparable since she had began working at the BAU. They both went out together- mainly so y/n could drink and he could have peace knowing she made it home safely.
Spencer gets to his apartment after a long day at work. He strips his clothes off and gets in the shower to wash the day away. He steps out of the shower to hear his phone buzzing. He picks it up and reads the words “hey why don’t you come over so we can have a movie night?”.
He smiles down at his phone. Spencer has always had a thing for her, ever since her first day at the BAU just 9 months ago. He had grown to like her more than a friend through. “I’ll be over in 15” he replies back.
A little bit later y/n heard a knock at her apartment door. She ran to open it. When Spencer walks in he is greeted by a smiling y/n who jumps into his arms. “You just seen me an hour ago at work y/n, it hasn’t been 4 months” he says snickering at her clinginess. “Yeah but you’re my best friend Spence, it hurts my heart going 5 minutes without you”, she says stumbling back out of the hug gripping her heart. “So dramatic”, he says with a chuckle and a dramatic eye roll.
He makes himself and home and plops down on the couch, he questions y/n who’s in the kitchen making popcorn, “so what are we watching?” “Ummm, what about It Chapter Two?” She questions him. “Okay” he yells to her.
After a few minutes y/n comes into the living room with a bowl of perfectly seasoned popcorn and two glasses of wine. “Ohh okay a wine night huh?” He says with a smirk. “Yeah it is” she says while taking a large gulp.
Y/n takes a seat right next to Spencer splaying a throw blanket over them and grabbing the popcorn bowl. Spencer starts playing the movie.
Halfway through you pause the movie, y/n looks at him, “will you stay the night?” She questions him with a quivering lip and puppy dog eyes. He puts his arm around her shoulders, “I suppose I can” he says with a dramatic sigh. She looks over at him laughing “and I’m the dramatic one?” She questions him shaking her head. “Yes you are y/n” he said laughing.
After the movie is finished she and Spencer sit on the couch looking at each other. Spencer looks at her and smiles. “This might be the wine talking, but I really like you a lot and I think you already know this and I think you already fee-“ he’s cut off by y/n lips pressed against his. He falls deeper into the kiss bringing one hand to rest on her cheek, the other on her neck.
She backs away. “You were rambling Spence. And of course I like you back. You’re my favorite person on this planet.” He smiles and looks away for a second collecting his thoughts. “I’m glad you feel the same way y/n but I really do like you so much. You dont know how many times you’ve saved me.” She smiles and wraps her arms around his slender torso. “I’ve waited so long for this to come out.”
“Well I guess now I have to plan a date” he says pressing his lips against hers. She smiles into the kiss. He lays back against the arm of the couch. She follows not parting their lips. Spencer wraps her arms around her and starts rubbing gently up and down her spine.
There was nothing sexual about the kisses although the sexual tension was building between the both of them. She backs up a bit. “I don’t want to kill the mood but I’m so tired and a little tipsy, let’s go to bed.” She stands collecting the bowl and cups, bringing them into the kitchen.
He meets her in the kitchen and grabs her hand leading her to the bedroom. Once they step in he plops on her bed and she gets her pajamas and disappears into the bathroom. A few minutes later she emerges and turns out the lamp plopping down beside him.
Spencer turns to face her and wraps his arm around her waist. “I’m so happy” he says smiling. Y/n leans in and gives him a quick peck. “I am too” she says. He turns on his back and y/n rests her head on his chest. “Goodnight Spencer” “Goodnight angel” he says rubbing her back.
#spencerreidblurbs#spencer reid headcanon#spencerreidnsfw#spencerreidsfw#spencer reid masterlist#spencer reid smut#spencer reid
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Shangri-La Frontier mid-season review
This is by far the best fake video game I've ever seen written in fiction.
Most MMO-centric isekai stories have trouble with providing accurate and realistic depictions of the complexities and minutia that give MMOs the allure they have. I've seen so much handwavey bullshit tacked onto fake-games that introduce unrealistically overlooked mechanics for reasons like giving the protag immense power just because they're the protag and the story is about them. A good example of this is another MMO Isekai airing this season, "A Playthrough of a Certain Dude's VRMMO Life", wherein the main character becomes extremely rich, powerful, and famous by episode 2 because he stumbled into a stealth archer playstyle, a build which apparently no human in that universe had ever conceived of before, and then making a fortune by selling basic potions to everyone after NPCs stopped selling them (another thing he was uniquely able to do because not a single other player had the forethought to spec into alchemy). These lesser, dime-a-dozen isekai add up to be boring fantasy strories with gaming elements clumsily put in so that the author can demonstrate how powerful the world's inhabitants are by showing their stat allocation screen instead of, say, explaining anything about what they do that's so uniquely powerful and how they figured it out. Ya know, stuff you'd hope to hear about from any competent story.
Shangri-La Frontier is a breath of fresh air for anyone who, like me, is sick of authors ignoring the things that actually make video games compelling in service of creating a stock-standard narratives in fantasy worlds because it allows them to get away with bullshit. I've always found it very convenient that many isekai narratives indulge in things like chattel slavery, because it's societally normal enough for the protag to purchase a beautiful, vulnerable girl to add to his harem (dont worry, she is always inexplicably in love with him no matter what because he's SUCH a kind master). And it never really seems to go anywhere. Because the Video Game Isekai, while an interesting premise in theory, is more often than not used exclusively as a means to simplify the structure of a world's power scaling to abide by an arbitrary set of omnipresent universal rules (e.g. what people who have never cared to look into game development think of video games). This anime, by comparison, is VERY clearly authored by someone who plays a LOT of games.
Every piece of logic used to drive the plot forward, so far, is congruent to a real-world example of video game conventions, and I'm not just talking about levelling up and selling monster parts. Story elements that I've rarely (if ever) seen explored in other isekai are ever-present and genuinely clever and amusingly introduced. My favorite example of this so far has been the way the protagonist has been able to go head to head with so many overlevelled foes in the first 9 episodes. The story of course makes note of how good of a gamer Sanraku (our hero) is, but much like in real life games, being super duper good at dodging attacks doesn't really make up for a 70 level gap in items and learned skills. For that reason, he gets his ass whooped more often than he actually outsmarts others (so far he hasn't beaten a single player in pvp). So how is he getting out of these situations without dying so frequently? Simple: he got access to a later area too early relative to his level (sequence break) and got access to a high level follower NPC that's been carrying him. This is something he acknowledges directly several times, specifically using words like "Emul has been hard-carrying me for a while." This, to me, is extraordinarily meaningful. That's something you can exploit in Skyrim, man. That's REALISTIC CHEESE STRATS. The excitement and wonder I find in this show doesn't come from watching the protag do something unexpected, but by watching him do something that I would think to do.
This knowledge the author has demonstrated regarding modern gaming culture extends further into the actual realistic nature of game design and community. The story exists in a reality where full-dive VRMMOs are the be-all-end-all of gaming, and given the prohibitively expensive nature of developing and designing expansive, immersive worlds, most games are pretty shit. It's been hinted at so far that this is due to a monopolistic megacorp which is one of the only entities rich and powerful enough to make a good game (the game in question being the one that shares the title of the anime), but so far the strife of the characters have been pretty centralized to the happenings of the game world and its politics. By the way, lets talk about the game world's player base politics, which I'm also quite pleased with. It exists in the form of guilds and clans who struggle for power not by participating in seemingly random pvp with other powerful players to see who is the most epic and badass warrior (again, like many contemporary isekai typically opt for), but by gaining actual realistic support from a fictional playerbase with realistic desires and playstyles. Some guilds are interested in lore, some gather for alliance and boss raids, some for things like animal husbandry, and (naturally) at least one is dedicated to trolling and PKing. Each of these factions, through the very little that we've seen of them so far, communicate on forums and only know as much as is reasonable for them to know. The only reason they give a shit about the protagonist at all is because he gained access to a high-level unique scenario quest that they want information on how to access, and the only reason word of that got out in the first place was because someone posted a screenshot of him with a unique NPC onto a forum, asking about it as "where can i find this pet summon, its super cute!" That's real. That's video games, baby.
I like this show a lot so far. I like that it cares about video games, but I also like its writing. I like the main character and how hes less of an ultra badass super cool guy, and more of an earnest challenge-run lets player. Like, a lot of his dialogue straight up sounds strikingly similar to Japanese youtubers. And he's naturally always quick to point out inconsistencies in the game world's logic. I ALSO really like his community of pals from a janky old fighting game, and I ADORE the girl from his school who has a crush on him and also just so happens to be an exceptionally high level player from a top clan, and how she had to spend 9 episodes working up the courage to send him a friend request. I love that so, so much, dude.
I highly recommend this show if you're into a single thing I've mentioned. The animation is great. The world is beautiful. The character design is immaculate. And I'm looking forward to watching it continue.
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