#i dont know how much asshole he gonna be but cass is sure to make him suffer anyway

[tomtepixiedust]

Huh, kinda have a pretty backlog of these fic cookies, am working through this stuff, guess it's a plate we're serving today. Here we go all comfort, family and murder fluff!

So Batman cookie

Imagine: two assassin kids, well one kid and a teen, meet along the way, both alike in their intention to get the fuck away from the League of Assasins, but really

They can't stand each other. Damian's inferiority complex towards Cass and Cass' lack of patience for the sheer arrogance that brat's projecting.

Despite all that professional assassin co duct requires politeness. As much as two obviously traumatised kids can manage without it sounding at times like very pompous words shoved into a tiny kid and a silent teen who can actually kill you but even then manages to hold an aura of edginess.

Awww these two certainly rub off each other like that.

And still, both work somehow together, to get against the League and not alert Batman (another point in their life that brought them together cause who need more stress from a phantom that may cross their own murder plans).

And along the merry way came Slade.

(now we have an actual adult supervising two kids and fuck now he's starting to miss his own even if dysfunctional family, is this purgatory and where's the actual functional adult oh batman-- shit did you just stab me? ah fuck.)

Remember an asshole is still an asshole so stab anyway.

Signed,

Cass

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

[wordsoflittlewisdom]

Watching bop again

I kinda forgot Cass was at the roller derby game. Love how all the characters are connected

Why does Roman’s voice...sound like that

Boss Bitch is weirdly nostalgic now

I like that the whole roller derby team is wearing like. team jackets. and harleys got her whole fringe sleeves thing going on

YES LOVE WHEN SHE THROWS THE NECKLACE AWAY

The chemical plant blowing up as fireworks was a very Harley choice

“So I’ll start where I fucking want” four minutes ago

huntress huntress huntress huntress huntress

I read somewhere that this huntress and Montoya scene was one take and they just changed the lighting to show the change

romans middle name being beauvais is probably the clearest clue they could have given that he was from a rich family

Love that Renee finds the necklace and knows Harley and the joker broke up. I like this idea that superheroes/villains are kinda like celebrities in this world

The egg sandwich scene is great what more can I say

Love that there’re cars and people just living their lives in this city

It’s a crime that we never see Harley wear this glittery fanny pack

The music is really good in this

It’s neat how the line between her narration and her dialogue is blurred, like how she’ll say the first part of something in narration and the second part in dialogue

Huntress’s little flute theme

And Montoya knows Cass; c o n n e c t i o n s

Montoya’s been going after Roman, too

And now we’re flipping back to the bertinelli massacre and diamond

Even if the whole missing diamond plot isn’t that unique, everything’s woven together so neatly

And now Dinah and Renee are on the phone about Cass and the diamond

It’s all connected

Harleys whole “I’m here to report a terrible crime”—she could have just run in there but she wanted to be Dramatic

I do wish the vocals were a little louder here maybe?

Big fan of this fight choreography

Harley pausing on a frame where she’s making a weird face before rewinding to explain about the diamond—it’s so rare to ever get to see women like. making weird faces in movies. All the women in his this are gorgeous but they don’t always have to be; they look beat up after fights and get dirty and make weird faces and it’s great

Dinah singing? Exceptional

“Loans, liquidity, laundering” ah yes the three L’s of illegal business

I unironically listen to Black Canary’s man’s world.

I like that everyone just calls Dinah “Canary”

“I’m all on my lonesome. It’s great” Harleys even an unreliable narrator when she’s just talking

I’ve really never seen a movie that feel like it’s from the female gaze visually as much as this one—all the rings and earrings, the hair, the makeup, it feels like what women might fantasize about dressing like

Dinah yelling “you motherfucker!” While beating some creeps up is quality

What time of day is it? Dinah would probably be leaving early in the morning, but I Refuse to believe that Roman would be awake particularly early any morning

She either canary is leaving her nightclub singing gig in the late morning/early afternoon or roman is still awake from the night before and is going to go to sleep soon

Cass and Dinah in the same building. (Bernie voice): I am once again talking about the connections

I’ve riffed on this before but i refuse to believe that Roman can drive

This Dinah and Renee scene establishes character, backstories, and moves the plot along all at once

Jesus some of ewan mcgregor’s acting in this is painfully bad

I love that Cass has a big bomber jacket and longer, looser shorts

Jurnee’s abs wow

The lights from behind the hands with the eyes behind Harley, who’s surrounded by people and then Roman and Victor emerge from the back, whispering to each other? Beautiful

One of the grievances roman has against Harley is “constantly interrupting him, like I’m doing right now”

Harleys “you’re really not as complicated as you think” bit is almost satirical of this cult we’ve created of “complicated” white male movie villains who have massive fan followings (cough cough joker)

Interesting that Roman holds the knife to Harleys face but hands it off to Victor to do that actual cutting

Someone handed Roman a bowl of popcorn

Harleys pocket tampon

It’s diamonds are a girls best friend yeah babey!

The male backup dancers are wearing muzzles/masks (Roman has one too for a split second) is an interesting flip on the way women are typically the ones being silenced, as well as Harleys desire to silence the men around her and be the one telling and controlling her own narrative

“Hey! you’re that singer no one listens to!” “Hey! You’re the asshole no one likes!”

Harley with her glitter gun

Harleys reaction when the sprinklers go off is perfect—Margot makes her feel like a living cartoon

This cell block fight scene is a showstopper

I like that cass doesn’t immediately want to stay with Harley. It gives her some agency in a story where she’s mostly just following the curveballs life throws her

Harleys little stare straight into the camera when cass admits to eating the diamond

Harley at the grocery store really emphasizes that she’s a total weirdo

I think I heard somewhere that the pic of child Harley with the nuns is a pic of young Margot??? Not totally sure though

Cass not knowing who the joker is goes with the whole supers are like celebrities thing—cass probably follows a whole different group of them (like how most kids follow different celebrities than their parents)

Huntress huntress huntresssss

“Give me number 32. Mild”

This kid in helenas flashback doesn’t really look like she’s grow up to look like Mary Elizabeth Winstead

This filming in this flashback has so much style

Helena practicing in the bathroom mirror with her drawing and her multiple bottles of travel mouthwash

We’re in the scene where Roman makes the girl dance on the table and oh god it’s so uncomfortable

No no no no no not this hate this

Alright that nightmare’s done

“and that’s why you should never pay federal income taxes”

Harley offering to bring cass to Roman after hearing doc say “business is business is interesting

OH ITS HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT TIME

Dinahs car is yellow because it’s...canary yellow

Roman putting on the mask is cool and all but he’s just gonna have to take it back off to get changed

This Harley vs Renee fight is fun because they keep mirroring each other—they’re fighting each other, but they’re really on the same side

The way the women all kind of circle each other at first and don’t immediately get along

Cass popping up with the gun also gives her some agency—she’s at the end of her rope with the diamond and being betrayed by Harley

“I am nOT THE CROSSBOW KILLER”

The way Huntress sounds so uncertain when she says “...and now I’m done” Mary’s acting really popped off

Roman’s a bitch but I like his outfits

Helenas little smile when Harley says “you just killed his BFF”

I love how excited Harley is when they all agree to work together

Roman’s giving his little speech in the back of a pickup truck?

When all the guys turned around with masks on I got chills

“I love this chick she’s got rage issues.” “I DONT HAVE RAGE ISSUES”

Huntress stabbing the guy while going down the slide is peak cinema

This set lights up as the scene progresses and reveals more

I love love love that Helena is genuinely caring towards Cass and recognizing that children shouldn’t have to go through trauma like her

“When the fuck did she have time to do a shoe change?”

THE HAIR TIE YEAH

Forgot to mention this but it’s a stroke of genius for this place to be called the booby trap

Love me some canary cry

“Told ya she had a killer voice”

Harleys chase was a real group hurrah—the canary cry cleared the way and pushed her forward, Huntress towed her, Renee gave her the gun with one bullet

Cass and Roman are just sitting in the back seat. That must have been an awkward car ride

Cass pulling the gun away from Roman when he tries to shoot up at Harley when Harleys on top of the car is elite

Damn this is one foggy pier

When Harley starts with “your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you” you expect her to say that it’s wrong or something but she says “I’m the one they should be scared of” this movie messed with tropes so much

That also includes the whole “one bullet” thing—Harley misses with her one bullet, and you don’t really know what’s gonna happen next

“I took your ring”

You can pinpoint exactly when Harley and Roman realize what Cass did

I’d put the entire taco scene here if I could

Renee moving the drink away from cass shows her caring side—she doesn’t want a kid to get into alcohol and make the mistakes she did

“Does she always talk like the cop in a bad eighties movie?”

Harley and Cass stealing the car is a fun way to show that she may be on the side of the good guys sometimes, but that doesn’t necessarily make her one

“Woman” by Kesha

Wow the outfits in this scene are iconic

I mean they are in the whole movie but I especially like these

Cass riding around with Harley and a hyena, wearing cute outfits and learning the ways of chaos

Harley got her sandwich!

The credit art for this movie is cool

Especially how they represent each character

In conclusion this is still my favorite movie

I know I’ve been kinda absent recently, but watching this again has really reminded me how much I love it. I got really busy but I’m going to Make An Effort to be a contributing member of the bop fandom again.

[thequiver]

hi so i just read your post & i re read it. i understand your point, but i fail to see the direction of the conversation- that is, the exact point aside from the obvious.

we know canon is very, well- we can all take a look at clark and his glasses and understand. technically speaking, technically speaking, this is all a work of fiction.

fiction, i.e. a work that is disconnected to reality and therefore can be extremely unrealistic.

your take on bruce being the most powerful man in gotham— its fair enough. no one should have that kind of power. but gotham citizens (since we’re now stepping into the ‘realistic’ territory) would be more concerned with earning enough money to eat food rather than call bruce out & say ‘hey stop funding the police, you cant have that much power’. and i think that one of the reasons why society doesn’t change (ie the crime rates, poverty rates, etc) is because of the reason you mentioned— they dont trust him.

oh also, about the crime infrastructure— batman has indeed made a very significant change. gotham has started to have a very low crime rate. its just the major rogues who impact the public, but generically speaking, bruce wayne has impacted the crime dynasty ever since he’s arrived.

(and ‘realistically’ speaking, there is no way to break the cycle of crime. you cant create a crime free world, because given human nature it is not possible.)

and as for the entire ‘no change in society thing’, giving jobs to employees is what will gradually drive people away from poverty. now by gradually i mean is— bruce is very well known for running in circles. its one of the building blocks of his personality, and you not liking that is completely fine. everyone has their opinions and people should respect them.

but. i cant understand the point of this conversation. we know that canon bruce is abusive. but i feel like maybe you should take a look at pren52 bruce (whos not an amazing dad figure, but way better than his current asshole ish version). i’m not saying that you should have to change your opinions, im just urging you to take a closer look at bruce and gotham. bruce is doing exactly what his parents did before. and true- the part about cps is true. canon has basically forgotten about it but i feel like its worth mentioning that bruce (or should we say the writer) did not purposely ignore it. dick, jason, tim, cass— all of them could have done a lot about it. but canon entirely chooses to ignore that particular aspect and for what reason, i have no idea.

i’m not sure what came off as anti-semitic, however, because you didn’t say anything is relation of bruce’s jewish heritage. either way, i just wanted to say this and i wanted to clarify that again, i respect your opinions, but maybe taking a better, closer look at bruce and the gotham residents might provide you more insight.

Oh absolutely and as I mentioned that post is by no means representative of my entire perspective on Bruce (I actually really like him before Jason’s death). That was just me bitching about writing choices I wish the writers would make because I think they’d make interesting Bat books that aren’t necessarily focused on the vigilante but the civilian aspect of it all. And it was also inspired by the fact that that week alone I’d had to sit down no less than 5 adults irl and explain to them that Bruce isn’t a pedophile. But also my economic analysis comes from the fact that I live in Appalachia so I’ve been raised in an area that’s very hostile to businesses like WE- I know where my biases come from and I do keep that in mind when reading.

Maybe one day I’ll make a post that actually talks about my feelings on Bruce’s character and the evolution of his character (and how I both resent and empathize with his character because I have coped with my ptsd in some…… really awful ways 😬), but for now I’m just gonna focus on my fics and work on trying to figure out the blood libel claim.

[missjackil]

Enter at Your Own Risk

I’m having some very heavy negative feelings about the SPN “Fandom” right now, if you’re interested, read on, if not. scroll on by.

So this has been a very long hiatus... longer than the Christmas break and in 2 weeks it will be over. I’m excited because I miss Sam and Dean so much, but I'm also depressed because it’s down to the last half of the last season and we won't ever, I repeat EVER have any new content. Why? Well... I know you all have your ideas, but I will go to my grave believing the “fandom” chased them away.

These guys have worked with and had fun with people for 15 years, consider them family, and the “fandom” does nothing but complain about them. Relentlessly, Sometimes J2 express their thoughts about some storylines they didn't like, or moments they thought were OOC but no one who has ever worked anywhere for any length of time has had 0 complaints. However, no one ever stays in one place for 15 years when they have had other opportunities when they don’t love it. 

SPN’s ratings never tanked. Not once, not ever... there was a drop in ratings after s1 which happens with every show, especially before Netflix, so a drop from S1 to 2 doesn't count. They have maintained a place in the top 3 shows on CW/WB through all the seasons, and even now when ratings are low, they still are in the top 3 of the network. Ratings only show LIVE viewing which not many people do anymore. Every network has lost live viewers across the board because of streaming and DVR, so everyone pretending it had anything to do with ratings or losing viewers, just sounds uneducated. 

Going into S14, J2 announced they were having shorter seasons. Why? So they could spend more time with their family, keep the show going indefinitely, and not burn out. They said numerous times, that they planned to keep going as far as the show will take them. Had they already planned to only go 15 seasons, that's when they would have made the announcement. So the show and the network could make as much money off them as they could before it ends.

However, in S14 something changed. For starters, Jensen worked hard on the character Michael!Dean spent many hours with a linguist JUST so he could speak the Arabic words correctly in 14x1 and then he’s thrown hate on SM when he had solo interviews at SDCC of the “fandom” assuming he and TPTB were dissing Jared so they could promote Michael!Dean and then when Jared explained at the NY Premier what had happened, no one recanted their hate. And then the season starts and SM exploded with how much everyone hated Michael!Dean!!! And what do we notice next? After the half, there was an awkward change.   

I believe it was during the break that J2, decided to call it quits. We had the story of getting Kaia home kinda vanish, the stalker girl from Optimism fell by the wayside, Charlie disappeared and woops, so did most of the AU hunters. Can’t follow through on new stories when suddenly, there's less overall story to tell.

Then we have the mysterious, heart-wrenching story about how Jared had some kind of breakdown while trying to perform the “I believe in us” scene in Prophet and Loss.  In his own words, he said he physically couldn't say the words and perform the actions of shoving Dean in the chest. It was so bad that Jensen was worried Jared had a stroke! Jared then said that he made it through, and went home cried himself to sleep feeling like he's disappointing everyone. 

Why on earth would that happen? Because he didn’t want to end it. He probably felt like he was projecting his disapproval of this decision onto Jensen. “This is WRONG this is QUITTING!! I believe in US... why don’t you believe in us too?”

Just watch that scene and see if you can’t see why it would have been so hard for Jared to get through it if he didn't want to stop the show! Almost as though he was telling Jensen (between the lines) “So what if the fans didnt like this, there will be a better story, but if we quit now their wont be another story!”

If that’s not convincing enough, we have Jensen in his own words and Jared confirming, that this season, when Jensen showed up day 1 to start directing, he felt so good being there that he texted Jared “2 more seasons?” and Jared replied, “Let’s talk”. 

Maybe they were waiting to see how you “fans” would take the new season? Maybe if you haters weren't such assholes even as the show is going out, maybe they would have worked something out to stay on longer? But no, all SM is bitching over the most ridiculous things! Like OMG SIDE CHARACTERS!!! or the guys looking a little goofy in a purposely silly episode. Like seriously, wtf guys?

And here’s the kicker.... you are all gushing over the nice J2 pics, the funny interviews, and TV magazine pics, that we’re never gonna have again after a couple months. We will get some con footage, but gone are the days of J2 interviews, funny and sometimes impressive Shaving People Punting Things videos, gag reels, etc. We will be lucky if we even get “caught in the wild” J2 pics. And most heartbreakingly, we won't ever see them working together outside of con panels. 

And cons will now be “Jared are you gonna have Jensen on Walker?” “Jensen are you putting out a new album or got your eyes on a new role?”

But hey, I guess that's worth it just so we don't have to see Claire, or Cass again huh? As long as annoying little Hellers don't have any material... it's so worth throwing the baby out with the bathwater. 

I know its not the whole fandom who want the show to end, but unfortunately, the loudest mouths (fingers) were heard.  And seriously, most of you dont really give a rats ass about the boys, the show or the real fans. You have a dozen other fandoms you're in and you're just bored with this one. So instead of just moving on, make sure you trash something that is making a lot of other people happy.  Karma is a bitch though.... just saying

Rant over.... for now

[the--blackdahlia]

This Life Chapter 17

Title: This Life Chapter 17

Summary:  Dean Winchester is the Vice President of the motorcycle club The Hunters. After almost 7 years in prison, he's free. But things have changed and Dean has to figure out how to put things back together.

Warnings: Language

AN: Thank you love @sams-serialkiller-fetish . The song for this chapter is Summertime Blues by Joan Jett.

“What are we still doing here?” Ruby asked the morning after the funeral. They were all gathered back at the garage, trying to figure out what to do. “We buried Benny. We should be heading back to California.”

“That requires having to go near Horsemen territory. And we kinda just killed one of their members.” Andy told her. “We’re just gonna stay here for a little bit and figure things out.”

“That’s why I’ve called in some reinforcements.” Meg said.

“Who?” Cas asked. That’s when a yellow AMC Germlin pulled into the lot.

“A friend.” Meg said. “She’s a genius. She can help us keep track of the Horsemen.” A redhead got out of the car with a smile on her face.

“‘Sup bitches.” She laughed.

“Guys, this is Charlie.” Meg introduced her. “She can hack anything.”

“So can Ash.” Cas said, crossing his arms. “You’re just bringing another person into the crossfire.”

“I laugh in the face of danger.” Charlie said, smiling. Cas just rolled his eyes and headed over to where Caleb and Jim were. “Is he always this friendly?”

“Trust me, the Hunters aren’t exactly a warm and loving bunch.” Gabriel sighed.

“One of them was.” Ruby added.

“And Sam’s not too bad.” Lucifer said with a shrug.

“Sam is one of us. Not one of them.” Gabriel pointed out. “So of course he’s awesome.”

“Guys, let’s face it,” Andy said, looking at all of them, even Charlie. “Sam might be one of us, but his true home and family is here in Wolfpine.” He motioned over to where Sam was perched on a stool, watching Dean tune up Baby. “And I have a feeling, he won’t be going back to California with us.”

“So, do I get to meet this mysterious Sam?” Charlie asked.

“Of course sweetheart.” Meg said. “I’ll go introduce you to anyone and then we’ll get you set up.” She led Charlie away from the other Wayward Sons.

“I wonder what she’s supposed to be doing here?” Andy asked, looking at Ruby and the brothers. “I guess we’ll find out.” He said when no one answered him. He made his way over to where Meg was introducing Charlie to some of the Hunters, ready to find out.

****

Charlie was set up in the office by Ellen, typing a mile a minute and looking at reports. Ellen was impressed to say the least. Charlie was a woman on a mission obviously.

“You need a job?” Ellen asked. “I’ve got about fifteen years of files that need typed up and organized right. I’m no computer expert and Jo’s not that fast of a typer.” Charlie laughed some.

“Maybe when I settle down and decide I don’t want to be a grey hat anymore.” Charlie told her. She had a beautiful Blueberry iBook and a Wifi card. So Ellen assumed that she was doing something to make some money. “I heard someone say that they were sending me help?”

“Um, I’m not sure.” Ellen told her. “What do you need help with?”

“Nothing. That’s why I’m confused.” Charlie told her. That’s when a bright orange El Camino pulled into the lot, Lynyrd Skynyrd blaring from it. The engine was cut and music stopped as Ash climbed out of the car.

“Relax everyone, I’m here.” Ash said. Caleb laughed and Cas wenet over to talk to him. A few minutes later, Ash was walking into the office with Ellen and Charlie. “Who’s this?”

“Charlie.” Charlie said to him. “And I don’t need your help.”

“Tracking the Horsemen can be a tough challenge. And I did go to MIT.” Ash said, flipping his hair back.

“MIT? That’s cool. I went to Cornell.” Charlie told him. “And I think I can manage just fine.” Ash flopped down on the dirty old couch that set in the office and got his own laptop out.

“You might be able to handle it just fine, but I want to help anyway.” Ash said. Ellen laughed a little.

“I’m just gonna go find Bobby. It’s getting a little too crowded in here for me.” With that, Ellen left, leaving Ash and Charlie to stare each other down while typing away.

“Watchya lookin’ at over there?” Ash asked, glancing at Charlie.

“Things and stuff.” She said. “You?”

“Updating my stock portfolio.” He said with sarcasm seething.

“Well, if this a competition, may the best woman win.” Charlie said.

“Oh I intend to…” Ash realized what Charlie had said and glared and started in on his search. He was going to win.

****

“Why is Ash here?” Sam asked, looking to where they had set Charlie up. Dean looked over and shrugged, not sure why he was here.

“I called him.” Cas said. “I’d rather have someone from our team working on this. I just don’t trust some of those Wayward Sons.”

“I saw the way you’ve been looking at Meg.” Jim teased. Cas’s face turned red.

“I have not…” Cas said. Bobby laughed.

“Guess Cassie boy isn’t as much as monk as he wants us all to believe.” Caleb announced.

“You guys are all assholes.” Cas said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, I wanted a backup in case this Charlie isn’t as good as Meg said she is. And I trust Ash more than I trust Charlie.” There was a motorcycle pulling into the lot. Gordon got off his bike and headed to them.

“Hey guys.” He said.

“Hi Gordon.” Bobby said. “What can I do for you?”

“Bike’s making weird noises. Can you check it out for me?” He asked.

“On it.” Dean said, heading over to Gordon’s bike. Gordon looked at Sam and his eyes widened slightly before he plastered a smile on his face.

“Hey Sammy.” Gordon said. Sam frowned more than he already was.

“Hi Gordon.” He grumbled.

“Okay then. Uh, point me in the way of the bathroom?” Gordon asked. Sam motioned to where the bathrooms were and let Gordon on his way. Gordon made his way in and shut the door. He thought Azazel was going to kill the crown prince. Alastair had sent him there to scope out the situation. He noticed Benny wasn’t standing around with them like he used to. So that was one down.

He looked around the small bathroom, wondering what he was supposed to do next. He looked at the sink, ready to splash his face to get his head around everything, when he saw a bracelet laying there. A bracelet he had seen before. It belonged to Sam. An exchange gift when he gave Dean an amulet that was supposed to protect him on runs. Sam had lost it once when Gordon was over and he thought the kid was going to have a panic attack until they found it.

It was perfect.

Gordon pocketed the bracelet. He wasn’t sure why he did, but it seemed right. He gave himself another minute before he headed back out. Dean was wiping grease off his hands talking to Caleb. He looked up at Gordon.

“Just a couple loose wires.” Dean told him. Gordon nodded.

“Don’t have a job for me, do you?” Gordon asked.

“No man. Sorry.” Caleb said. Gordon nodded again and went back to his bike.

“Well, thanks for the fix.” Gordon said, starting up his bike and driving off. Dean looked at the others.

“Something doesn’t sit me right with him.” He said. Sam nodded in agreement. He looked around.

“Anyone seen my bracelet?” He asked.

“Sorry man, I haven’t.” Cas said. “It’ll show up though.”

****

Gordon made it out of Wolfpine and headed to New Mexico. He stopped close to the state line where Alastair was waiting for him. The Horsemen looked like he was ready to fight. Gordon just hoped it wasn’t with him.

“What did you find out?” Alastair asked.

“Everyone was there except for Benny Lafitte.” Gordon reported. “Even Sam.”

“Damn it.” Alastair sighed. “Azazel was a capable leader, but he let his emotions get the best of him.”

“I snagged this.” Gordon said, handing Alastair Sam’s bracelet. “It’s Sam’s. I don’t know if it will do any good or not…”

“I actually think I have a plan.” Alastair said, smirking. “Good job Gordon. You’re definitely a Horsemen.”

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[snickletastic]

The Ultimate Batfamily Dreamcasting

so, i wanted to make this to show you guys what i’d imagine the batfamily would look like in real life. i’ve been doing a lot of researching on what people's’ preferences are, and this list took me a long time to make. i understand that everyone has their own ideas of what they’d look like, what race they’d be, and all that, so i hope you guys understand these are what my favourite choices are. so, with that being said, this is my dreamcasting. :)

Dick Grayson

dick grayson is undoubtedly the hardest and most controversial to cast, due to his romani heritage. it’s honestly pretty hard to find romani actors that look like him! so i hope you guys don’t mind that these guys aren’t actually romani (i totally support a romani actor for the character though!)

Steven Yeun

i know steven yeun is a really popular fancast for dick grayson, and personally, i think he’d be pretty good. 

Andrew Garfield

okay, hear me out, i know andrew garfield has already played peter parker and all, but if DC would consider reusing him for dick grayson, he’d be a pretty damn good choice imo. 

Ben Barnes

the guy from westworld! i know he’s a bit old for dick grayson, but he sure doesn’t look it. he’d also be a fresh face for the film, and fans wouldn’t really automatically tie him to another movie or character (except for westworld of course haha)

Xavier Serrano

alright, alright. i know xavier serrano is more of a model than an actor, but if you put this guy through some acting classes, he’d be perfect. he has the looks and the age, just not the acting chops, unfortunately. 

Finn Wittrock

an actor who was in american horror story, he may be a great choice for dick. he’s got the right looks and height for the character. 

thank you to @thequalone for recommending him for the list!  

An Unknown Actor

people have so many different opinions about who should play dick grayson, that maybe DC should try to find a new, young actor for him. 

Jason Todd 

there are soooooo many fancasts for jason, like, i could literally list hundreds. but through all of them, there’s one specific person i know would be perfect.

Matthew Daddario

look at him!!!!! look at him!!! he’s perfect for jason! he’s got the looks and the acting skills down. he already plays a badass in the shadowhunters, and i know he’d be exactly what we need as a good jason todd.

Tim Drake

timmy also has tons of fancasts, so i’ll try to list my personal favourites.

Dylan O’Brien

before you say it, i know not everybody likes him. but he’d be perfect for tim, honestly. we already know he’s a good actor, and he’s played a nerd before. he’s young, attractive, and he’s been getting some pretty good roles in hollywood so far. 

Logan Lerman

don’t mind the fact i had to put a picture of him instead of a gif (i could only find gifs of him from 2012 from perks of being a wallflower, his haircut was awful). you can’t deny that he looks like timmy, even just a bit. besides, he’s pretty young. if there was a scene with tim drake and the flash together, it’d be pobaw all over again. just please don’t make anymore gifs of it, there’s more than enough.

Ryan Potter

i know that he’s already been cast as beastboy and all, but he would’ve been the perfect tim drake. but i’m really happy that he’s been cast as another hero, and i’m excited to see him in titans. :)

Damian Wayne

okay so i’m not gonna put any casts for damian for one big reason: he’s a kid. it’ll probably take years for damian to show up in the movies, and by the time he’s finally in them, all my fan casts won’t be kids anymore. 

Duke Thomas

a fairly new addition to batman’s family, he probably won’t show up in the movies for awhile, or at least until his name is a bit more well known. but, i do have a couple favourites for him, too.

Donald Glover

donald glover may be a bit old, but he doesn’t look a day over 25. who doesn’t love him, honestly?

John Boyega

i must admit it, i’ve never seen star wars: the force awakens, but i’ve heard nothing but great things about john boyega’s performance in it. he’s young, handsome, and is apparently a great actor. 

Michael B. Jordan

it’s no secret that fantastic 4 sucked total ass, but i think michael b. jordan deserves a second chance as a superhero, don’t you? 

Barbara Gordon

barbara gordon is a pretty easy person to cast, honestly. here are a couple favourites:

Emma Watson

emma watson is already a pretty famous actress, but with some red hair dye, she’d be a pretty decent barbara.

Daisy Ridley

my personal favourite for barbara, daisy would be a damn good batgirl. a new star, she’s the perfect age for her, and she’s got the right looks.

Stephanie Brown

there’s no shortage of white women with blonde hair in hollywood, so there’s probably hundreds of women that could play steph. i’ll give you some of my favourites.

Dove Cameron

i don’t know much about this girl, except that she was in that liv and maddie show, which i thought was awful but maybe a few acting classes can remedy that. she’s certainly pretty and young enough for steph.

Peyton List

this was the only good gif of her i could find, but this is the actress from jessie. i mean, she’s blonde, right? ha, no im just kidding around. she wasn’t that bad of an actress in jessie, and she’s also young and pretty. 

Hayley Kiyoko

hayley kiyoko is half japanese, and i think it’d be pretty cool to have her be stephanie. the thing is, i only remember her from the scooby doo movies. while the scooby doo movies were legendary in their own right, they aren’t known to have the best acting in the world.

 Cassandra Cain

another character we probably won’t see in awhile, but i’ll still add a few favourites .

Rowan Blanchard

i don’t know too much about rowan, but i know people love her because of girl meets world. I think she’s got the looks for cass, but im unsure of her acting skills. 

Jamie Chung

i know she’s a bit old, but once again, does she look 34 to you? yeah, me neither. 

Chloe Grace Moretz

i gotta be honest, i don’t like chloe grace moretz. but, we already know she can play a good badass, she already knows how to do stunts, she’s young and pretty, and she’s got a good fan following. say what you want, but she wouldn’t be the worst cast.

Teresa Ting

a young chinese-american actress, she may be another pretty good choice for cass. 

Selina Kyle

there couldn’t be a more perfect actress than audrey hepburn for selina, but, unfortunately that can’t be. but i mean, just look at the resemblance. 

it’s uncanny, it really is. but without further ado, here are my casts for selina kyle.

 Kat Dennings

i honestly just really like kat dennings. i know she was in thor and all, but that was a fairly small role, you know? i think she could really pull off selina. she’s got that dark hair and all, she’s one of my favourite picks for sure.

Thandie Newton

for a bit of an older selina, thandie would be amazing. she’s a great actress, and really proved it in westworld. she’s got the looks and has already played a total badass.

Diane Kruger

a more famous route, diane kruger is a very good actress. all she needs is a box of black hair dye and a fancy catsuit, and she’ll have the role down.

Dianna Agron

i think dianna would be a great selina. she's a terrific actress and is certainly sexy enough for the role.

so, that’s it! if you disagree with a few casts, thats fine, but please dont message me saying im an asshole for not having the same opinion as you. if you think you have a better choice, please let me know! i’d love to hear what everyone else thinks of this list or who they’d add.  :)

masterlist

[gorsime]

ill delete this soon

bad cop hogwarts au

@pouncival

points to cover: houses, prefect stuff, meetings, classes, Naughty Stuff, other cats, pets, life after hogwarts, quidditch >:((, HYDRATION, teachers, uhhhhh and anything else i can think of

HOUSES: rumples a gryffindor. the sorting hat took about three seconds. alonzos a hufflepuff even tho his family have always been ravenclaws and he desperately wanted to be a gryffindor, he cried after the sorting ceremony also: jenny is huffpuff head, skimble is p much hagrid, jelly is raven, gus is gryffdor and grizabella is slytherin,,, headmaster deuteronomy lmao

PREFECT STUFF: alonzos a prefect. Obviously, i mean come on. he takes it so seriously,,, hes already dating rumple when he becomes one and she delights in the fact that he can sometimes b persuaded to let her go with a warning bc yo thats what u get for fucking a prefect,,, once she wanted to get in ravenclaw tower and she didnt know the answer to the riddle so she was like "LONZYYY I HAVE A RIDDLE THAT I NEED TO FIND THE ANSWER TO FOR HOMEWORRKKKKK" and hes a library fiend so he spent like an hour looking it up and then he told her and she was like "ok thanks im going off 2 ravenclaw tower now" and he was so distraught he took ten points from hufflepuff for helping her. the other prefects Donut Understand their relationship ghdkhgd bc mungo and rumple r worse than fred and george but eventually it gets to the point where they catch her doin some rulebreaking and shes like... do u seriously feel like dealing with me so they just go get alonzo. she gets drunk on firewhisky one time and he takes her back up to gryffindor tower and spends ten minutes trying to get the fat lady to let her in but the fat lady is annoyed and refusing and it goes like "rumple tell her the password" "nooOooOoOooOo" "do you know the password" ">:3c" "rumple teLL HER THE PASSWORD" for another half hour and eventually gives up and decides to wait for the next gryffindors to come along and let her in but the next one to come along is mungo and then its twice as bad when alonzo becomes head boy (munk is the year above them) he cries, and rumple opens her letter like I GOT HEAD GIRL??!!!!????? and hes like. What. and shes like hehehehehe just kidding who the fuck do u think i am,, also. prefects bathroom. he ends up letting her find out the password and then shes constantly in there and then Somehow (i wonder how) mungo finds out and then they have to change it before the whole school knows,,, oh my god the other prefects tease him so much and at first hes like eh..heh...yeah but after a while hes like fuck off please, stop shittalking my girlfriend to me, and he gets a wee bit defensive about it so they give up especially in their final year when hes head boyyyy

QUIDDITCH: OKAY so alonzo wanted to play quidditch as a seeker bc ofc he did right?? i mean theres so many rules. such nice uniforms. but he never made the tryouts bc he wasnt willing to take the risks needed to get the golden thingy (also, vitiligo, hes got autoimmune shit and he has 2 b careful w his health),,, rumple however. rumples grown up loving the harpies and desperately wanting to be a beater. then she meets mungo and the two of them are fucking terrifying beaters, they are So Good, its honestly the only reason why gryffindor hasnt lost the house cup every fucking year, them helping win p much every game kind of balances out all the points they lose for being shits lmao,,, we had a thought that she gets hurt sometime in a game, and alonzo is. so terribly smothering he brings in all his books to study by her bed in the hospital wing and takes notes for her and is way too cautious after that and begs her to stop playing and she just. Looks at him. :| anyway she does eventually become quidditch captain nyehehe and so shes captain, hes head boy, they are a glorious power couple,,, the nerds love alonzo, the delinquents and sportheads love rumple, together they are So Respected,, it also means she gets actual access to the prefects bathroom which changes very little except for how sneaky she has to be to get in

MEETINGS: okay so in true hogwarts au fashion they first meet on the train as first years,,, rumple: hi can i sit here (she says as shes sat down) are u muggleborn im a halfblood alonzo: im from an old wzarding family my name is draco malfuck you rumple: wow u sound like an asshole. what house r u gonna be in. im gryffindor alonzo: me too rumple: u dont seem like one alonzo: you do :// rude fuck. this is my owl her name is aegolius im pretentious rumple: cool name. this is my cat her name is gwynog GO HARPIES alonzo: ive never had physical contact with a living thing in my life can i pet her rumple: sure alonzo: soft anyway after they get sorted they never talk again. End Of Au. jks but forreal they dont talk for years until they get their electives and theyre partnered in care of magical creatures and finally talk again and it goes like rumple: hey youre that kid who cried at the sorting ceremony alonzo: rumple: sup somehow the whole Falling In Love part is the one bit we havent really talked about but it happens and its cute

id also like to add that alonzos parents are an old italian wizarding family but they pride themselves on being chic, modern wizards who incorporate certain muggle things, mostly fashion, his mums a fashion designer, so all his clothes are beautiful and tailored and more Modern than most,, ANYWAY they also Want The Best for him and when he tells them who hes dating (A HALFBLOOD RAISED AMONG MUGGLES??? A GIRL BEATER???? LOOK AT HER SCHOOL RECORDS DARLING SHES A DELINQUENT!!!!!!) and they refuse to let him stay at her house or let her come over,,, until he writes home one day like. shes captain of the quidditch team what more do u want shes going to do it professionally) and theyre Sporty Folks who are So Fucking Into Quidditch and by this point theyve realised that she's not turning him into a Bad Kid so they finally accept her

CLASSES: ive forgotten like all of their classes kmn anyway alonzo wants to be an auror. thats all he wants. thats his ambition. so he studies his ass off from day one and gets perfect grades and is a model student. rumple is. perhaps not. just think fred and george thats her and mungo, shes a terror but somehow she still manages to pass everything through an annoying natural talent. alonzos kind of hellbent on making her get good grades and they spend much of their time in the library, hes in there Every Day, he pretty much has a reserved table, rumple sits around practicing jinxes on any unfortunate passerbys and trying to pester him and/or make him kiss her he loves presentations, hes so good at them, he prepares for weeks and then the entire time rumples in the back of class making Naughty Gestures. he chokes on his water when she does presentations theyre short but shes really charismatic so he just kind of sits there staring at her like an idiot because gosh she has a nice voice rumples a pro at brooms obviously, alonzos Hella Nervous on them, he has the best and safest model, she offers to give him private lessons but really its just an opportunity for dick jokes what can u do. he gets her a really good really SAFE and fast broom for christmas one year bc what else does a rich boy get his girlfriend who kicks ass at quidditch which brings me to

NAUGHTY STUFF: kittens look away! look for like. a full three months hes like Im Not Having Sex At School Its Against the rRULES!!!!!! and rumples like. well then we either abstain until we graduate or we can do it at your parents place and. No. The Horror. he changes his mind very quickly. they happen to stumble across the room of requirement a few times when.uh. the need is great. u know how it goes. im also gonna go out on a limb and admit that alonzo is rather fond of the Luxury Baths in the prefects bathroom and rumple is very good at catching him when hes in there and enchanting the door or some shit so nobody disturbs them :-)) this is from one of those hogwarts au headcanon posts but i love it, he gives a presentation on sex ed and shit (lets pretend hogwarts is better than it is) and rumple sits in the back asking the worst questions and inside he wants to scream u KNOW what that is we did it last nIGHT

other cats: yes ok here we go. in their year is misto, victoria, admetus, mungo, coricopat, tantomile and im sure im missing people here, year above them  is munk, tugger, deme, bomba, cassandra, macavity (???!!!???) and everyone else is younger by a year or two, also worth mentioning is etcetera being rumples younger sister and theyre adorable and lovely etcetera for president of the world munk and cass or deme are probably head boy and girl of their year,  cass is dating tantomile, bombas dating demeter, alonzo has the biggest crush on munk as well (optional polyamory for u fucks) (worth saying that the reason rumple went to sneak into ravenclaw tower was to see victoria btw),,, alonzo and victoria are head boy and girl of their year, and probably jemima andddddddd idk maybe g eorge fuck me man idk admetus is another prefect, so's tantomile tbh,,, id say victoria but she wants to focus on her studies

PETS: alonzo has this beautiful eagle owl, scariest of all owls, her name is aegoleius (pronounced ay-JEE-lee-us) it means bird of prey and he adores her. shes beautifully trained. rumple has a kitty that im personally in love with who is basically rumpleteazer as a cat lol shes a calico but her name is gwenog after the famous beater of the harpies <33333 eventually they'll get another cat thatll be a suspiciously familiar black and white patched triangle shorthair named Faolan (sorta like FWAY-larn) even tho it means little wolf because he thought it sounded cool and he read it in a book and thought it was pronouned faow-lahn, honestly they probably end up getting a whole ton of cats

LIFE AFTER HOGWARTS: WOO im excited for this bit. okay. so. alonzo wants to be an auror. hes spent his whole life training for this. he immediately applies after graduation and gets in and starts his rigorous three year training process. in the meantime rumples gone into professional quidditch, and shes really really good at it but shes like.... this isnt fun anymore. bc its not just a school game anymore, its a professional sport, and what do u mean u cant jinx the opponents!!!! so for a while she just helps him train "ok so if you walk like THIS and use this charm your footsteps will be totally silent blah blah boh my god i should be an auror" and hes like. You. want to be an auror. and shes like. Yup. and its a damn good thing he was so obsessive about her getting good marks bc her newts are good enough that she can apply. they do a criminal record check, but mind u that altho rumples done naughty stuff, shes never actually. Been Caught doing anything particularly bad. so her record is somehoW CLEAN and she gets in. its a miracle. "what did you do. who did you blackmail" "i sucked every single aurors dick lonzy" "HOW DID YOU GET IN" "EVERY! SINGLE! DICK!" but hes also really really prouD AND THAT MEANS THEY CAN HELP EACH OTHER TRAIN!!!!! cue training montage. rumple pulls a tonks and coasts thru a lot of it rlly easily and almost fails some but they both eventually graduate and become aurors and work together and she covers her trenchcoat in patches and he keeps asking if he has to wear his because sweet jesus it is ugly ITS BROWN, and at this point his parents r more than content with rumple lmao, anyway they live together in a lovely little house that is kept in perfect order, rumple enchants EVERYTHING to talk, its cute, fucking domestic shit yes please

HYDRATION LOL look this isnt even important but alonzo is so deeply into that health shit. he only eats dark chocolate, and most importantly he fucking loves spending time in the kitchen with jenny. she cooks, he makes custom face masks, and also infused water. so much infused water. he has different """recipes""" and he always has a bottle of lovely chilled water with fucking apple and ginger and lemongrass shit in it that he made the night before, and since rumple fucking hates drinking anything thats not tropical sunshine punch fruit juice he constantly is trying to figure out a recipe of infused water that she'll drink becUSE ITS NOT HEALTHY RUMPLE!!!!!!!! YOU NEED WATER, but she thinks its disgusting and eventually he gives up and carries a bottle of juice with him in case he sees her because its better than nothing,

yeah ok im,,,,, i assume there will be more to come but for now this is what u get