#i dont know guys i feel fairly certain i'm seeing what i'm seeing

[selffagellation]

so did u guys know about the el tango de roxanne boston vid that has a several seconds long closeup of aaron tveit's crotch and thighs in those stupidly tight pants. did u guys all know about that. am i the johnny come lately here. because ngl i feel like we need to make that more widely known. dude's whole pp is just out there huh.

[narfin-frood]

I'm dying to know what 'The Date' episode would be like in your Au!!

ive been thinking about this for a while now bc this is a fairly old ask, but i still can't decide on anything that makes sense to me...? because. ok. i've been dissecting hater (and my swap hater) under the michael scope in my brain during my free time at work and thinking really hard about Why he acts the way he does (i have a lot of thoughts but to keep this relatively on-topic i'll try to just mention what's relevant to Why he's so bad at dates)...rambling under cut

mr meteor and lord hater are like At their cores the same person, but the main thing that sets them apart is how much slack they've historically been cut for just being themselves. like lord lackadaisical started at the top and hasn't been really. excluded for acting any certain way. like he's never been told that the way he is is embarrassing or wrong, or at least not by anybody he really cares about, so while he still wants to be cool and awesome, he's not constantly wedging himself into the Bad Boy Archetype he thinks he's supposed to conform to and actually finds joy in who he is. ANYWAY

lord hater's....everything...is very performative, and the way he treats people & expects the world to bend around him if he uses enough brute force is because thats the only option he sees (with his awful case of tunnel vision) that doesn't make him cry all the time because nobody likes him.

all that to say mr meteor doesn't really neeeeed to find a date? his self worth doesn't hinge on whether people like him unconditionally or not, so there wouldn't be much conflict between him and a prospective date. he's still pretty callous and insensitive, and he probably still actively wants a girlfriend, but rejection wouldn't drive him to blow up the planet. if sylvia and meteor managed to go on a date together, it'd probably be a fairly neutral thing? maybe they'd get along, sylvia would start to be convinced that they're not a threat, they part on good terms, little to no romance at all. and also little to no conflict or Things happening. boooooring

and for swap wander, i dont think there's a way to mindgame some sense into setting him up with a date, as fun as it could be, because wander's not an active pursuer of romance. in that way at least. like he doesn't typically involve himself as much as he just wants everybody to love each other and get along and be nice? so again anything 'romantic' or any comedy coming from the date itself would probably get completely sidelined in favor of the foreboding part of being on a date with a thousand of the same guys while trapped in a walnut. i feel like it's just such a weird fucking setting for any serious dating to happen without it getting supremely weird or awkward? and again, wander doesn't have a record of being really invested in his own love life beyond just. loving in general

i think the funniest plot with the most slapstick you could get is a blind date between peepers and sylvia where neither of them know who they've been set up with until they meet and it's immediately and forever a competition between them. and they keep physically beating each other up over really petty little things like stepping over the line while bowling or not opening the door for the other. just real nasty to each other until at the end theyre reunited with their respective idiot and they part on. terms. very specific terms. and they hate each other even more but now it's Personal

[typenull]

how do you find the courage to open up about parts + distinction? its nice in theory (i like being understood and accepted) but in reality its scary. im currently finding it difficult & near impossible to do so with my closest (IRL & online) friends + group therapist. (even names/pronouns). i feel like a trapped deer in headlights. what about you? i think of you as brave and admire that trait about you for being so open about it. sorry if this message is weird. i dont know how else to say it.

wow hi anon, first of all thanks for the ask; i'm really honored that you'd think of me that way about something like this in the first place... and it's not weird at all, don't worry! this subject is definitely something i go back and forth about all of the time, and i think that fear you're describing is completely normal; especially if you're only just beginning to try sharing about having parts at all. so don't worry, i think the fear is actually kind of "baked-in" to the disorder itself, imo.

this got pretty long, so i'm going to put it under a cut!

i think a large part of what you may be picking up on from me has just come from time. i've been formally diagnosed for about 3 years now, but i first identified my symptoms about 10 years ago; i've had a really long time to make a whole fuckton of both mistakes and tough decisions when it comes to how i want to present being dissociative online. compared to how i was when i was younger, i actually consider the amount of actual information i share to be fairly low (so it's surprising to me that i seem as open and not like a private recluse lol) - but my overall acceptance of the disorder and what it means for me to have it has definitely solidified in the past 3 years. that's allowed me to curate a fairly generally cohesive "collective" image, but that can sort of be a pro or a con. i tend to view any information i share online as just being a small "segment" of the overall "chimera" - as long as what sections i share don't put me at risk, it just becomes another facet of how people see me overall. basically, i try to incorporate my view of the disorder into my presentation of my self, i guess. i wouldn't be who i am without my parts, so they become part of me. this mindset largely stems from having to backtrack on a lot of old ideas about the disorder; viewing parts as external figures, presenting parts as Quote Unquote "Completely Separate", etc. you'll have to put your own time into thinking what those sorts of things mean to you, and how you collectively think of it when it applies to yourself.

despite how it looks, i actually have comparatively very few parts that feel fully comfortable "presenting" solely as themself nowadays, and to have that luxury is actually fairly rare. as the guy who's writing this I personally only recently (within the past 2 weeks or so) worked up the courage to present as anything personal to me at all. this is mostly because having a collective name online gives me (overall) the freedom to hide behind that moniker and image that i've spent so long curating, and trying to step outside of that is a pretty big source of risk.

for the most part, i deliberately try not to share information about parts that could put myself in danger, or that would cross those part's boundaries. there are some disagreements when it comes to this; some information that certain parts feel strongest about sharing / feel is strongest tied to their personal identity online can sometimes be information that others feel like "if you post this online we will actually die" about, lol. as always, communication is the most important part of dealing with any part of this disorder.

building off of that, i think the most important piece of advice or what have you is going to sound kind of cliche if you've been deep in the paint on reading advice for DID, but it will get easier as you get to know your parts - and more specifically, each parts boundaries. i would take the time to ask your self and others what exactly it is that makes you freeze up when trying to share or present in a way that's comparatively more open. i'd even ask myself what you consider "being open" means to you, because it's different for everyone. i found myself realizing that a lot of my hangups with it were from other parts' fears or worries, and had to talk it through to come to a middle ground with them.

this is especially true when it comes to wanting to be open to therapists. i've never been in group therapy outside of inpatient before, so i can't exactly be the best help there... but i personally try to remind myself that despite how it feels, i'm technically the person in the position of power in a therapeutic relationship because i'm paying for their service. if i share and i feel it alters our relationship in a way i dislike, or that it puts me in danger, i have the authority to terminate that therapeutic relationship. i would start small and just see how it feels to share about the existence of parts at all in a group setting like that before diving into anything more personal.

i feel like i had more to say, but i've already typed up a whole novel, lol... i hope at least this can give you some insight on where i come from when sharing things online. thanks a lot again for the ask, it means a lot that you'd look up to me in any way. i'm not at all an arbiter of DID advice or anything, but if you'd ever like to shoot me a message off anon you can certainly give it a shot. (even though i'm bad at responding to dms.)

[nightmare-dreamt]

Hey! I'm not 100% sure how to ask for a matchup, but I'm gonna try anyways, a3!, assassination classroom and ohshc If you can.

My name is Abby, and I'm an enfp and a virgo🙏

I tend to be on the more talkative side, I have a habit of rambling about an array of topics that end up making no sense because I switch stories halfway through, although I'm quiet when it comes to new people, around friends I'm physically incapable of shutting up.

I'm pretty disorganized, like really disorganized, but I can usually find what I'm looking for, it's kinda an organized chaos kinda thing, except it's not organized and I'm just good at remembering where I put stuff.

My hobbies include gardening, playing guitar (music is a big thing for me and my family), going on long walks with absolutely no destination, and cooking/baking.

I absolutely *hate* when people don't listen to what I have to say, which happens pretty often, dont know if people are tired of hearing me talk so much or if they never bothered listening to begin with, but its annoys me so much when someone asks me a question I've already answered, or don't pay attention to a story I'm telling.

I'm the oldest of four, two little sisters and a little brother, they're energetic to say the least, but I enjoy being around high energy people, I grew up with it, so it's what I'm comfortable with. People who are monotone all the time freak me out.

Heres just some random stuff I didnt know how to fit into an actual paragraph.

My favorite colour is blue

I *love* going out and doing things

I'm a pretty ambitious person, just not when it comes to school (it shows)

I'm big into flower language, my favorite are forget me nots.

Sorry if this is worded poorly or I forgot anything, I don't use the ask box often, or ask for matchups😭

Matchup for Abby!

A3!: Juza Hyodo

It was pretty akwards when the two of you first met, the two of you were both silent just staring at each other, waiting for someone to talk first. Once that encounter was over with though, things: changed the more you got to know him and know the type of person he is. You broke out of your shy shell and became a social butterfly, unlike him who was still fairly silent but he made sure to listen to everything that you said to him. He's more of the listener type than the speaker type,

For your guys first date together, he planned to make dinner for the two of you but he lost track of time and before he knew it you were inside his house with a sweet smile on your face. The two of you then began to cook together sharing laughter and smiles, enjoying the moment together. He was embarrassed at first when losing track of time and ruining the surprise, but when seeing the look on your face at the sight of being able to help cook with him, he would do anything to see that look again.

When he found out about your wide span of knowledge of flowers, he made sure to buy you flowers every time the two of you went out. He expects you to tell him about the flowers and share whatever knowledge you have about them. After a while of dating, he knows almost everything about flowers and knows which one is the best to get for a certain situation and how to tell what type of flowers to get someone. All thanks to his great s/o.

Assasination Classroom: Karma Akabane

Teasing is something we all know Karma does, and it's something he's not going to stop doing. especially for someone he likes. You were used to his playing and teasing though since all of it was light hearted and wasn't anything too extreme. His teasing is usually done to see a smile on your face, which will then bring a simile onto his face knowing he was able to make you happy.

Long Walks through the park or anywhere for that matter are a must with Karma. He enjoys going on them to clear his mind and to just listen to the soft sounds of nature around him. His favorite is the beach and being able to feel the sand and being able to hear the soft sounds of waves in the background.

When Karma first met your siblings, it was a quick friendship between them all. He made sure to be able to connect with all of them in a certain way that would make them approve of him and it worked. He's now the fan favorite of your household and your siblings always wonder when he's going to be coming back so they could talk and hang out with him. Everytime he comes over, he makes sure to spend a little bit of time with your siblings and do whatever they are in the mood for.

Host Club: Honey - Senpai

When he first heard you play the guitar, he fell in love, needing to hear it all the time. Everytime that he comes over, expect to be asked to play for him. He thinks it's the most beautiful thing he's ever heard and loves how skilled you are at it. Tells Mori all about it the next day and explain every detail of the song and the way your fingers strummed the chords perfectly.

Bakery Dates are a must in this relationship, I mean it's Honey-senpai, what did you expect from him? You guys go to all sorts of bakeries together and try different types of treats and meals together enjoying every single one of them. His favorite are bakeries that only have cake, you gusy spend so much money there it's shocking that you're not banned from the amount of cake Honey eats.

[petrichoraline]

hii petri! for ship bingo, your favorite ship from kinnporsche and/or your favorite ship from the untamed?

mint, i know you wanted to give me choice and creative freedom and i appreciate it so much but my gOSH am i not the person to do that for 😂 not only do i rarely have favourites of anything but i have to figure out my emotions for these unnamed blorbos? this is how you end up with five answers for the price of one ✨

so, for kinnporsche i came to the conclusion i have two - one for the earlier part of the show and one for the last episodes (i think the green is..fairly obvious)

first one is the men themselves who made me feel so many things throughout the show and turnt it into the amazing experience it was for me, watching them learn how to understand each other and open up, the tender scenes, the chemistry, following the discussions on here about kinn and his trust issues (omg especially around the tawan episodes, that was crazy) - their journey was so much fun!

the second one..what can i say, vegaspete were what everyone seemed to anticipate and i was kinda neutral until their episodes actually hit, then i went insane lmao, i just love pathetic men and "only i understand him, only i can tame him" type of stuff - i got plenty of that and some top notch chemistry and they were what made the last episodes for me

onto the untamed.. i don't like thinking about it too much because one cql viewing later i'm a broken woman, i do not understand how people watch it more than once and choose to actively think about it, write analyses, delve into the lore - i'm not built like you guys and you have my respect 💕 all of that is to say i dont think bout the ships too much either, i picked these as faves because they had a certain smth

I don't think anyone could possibly guess what the three couples are they're - not the most popular 😂 except for wangxian, those are my babies:

the next one is jiang cheng with... *drums*

...wen qing 🥰 i didn't ship them as divorced until i saw the option and decided that yes, they would be so amazing as divorced parents or smth and i would read about it for sure; not the comb, not the post-war conversations - that inn scene always comes to mind, it feels like a checkpoint at which you could take a different route and change the outcome, a spot where you can stop and think "what if"... jiang cheng before the weight of zidian, the only thing of importance at the moment - his brother's safety... wen qing with only her brother to look out for, testing how far she'd go for an outsider while risking everything... or, y'know, i just find the scene fun, smart and rewatchable 🤷‍♀️ they're a very interesting ship for me cause i don't mind them not being together, either way is fine and makes sense and i never really feel this way about ships i care about, they usually HAVE to be together y'know but with these two i just have many thoughts and feelings that don't actually make me go crazy which is so refreshing

and the one ship that i'm not sure i even ship but b o y they make me feel things...

...xiao xingchen and xue yang YES I KNOW, still to this day am not sure about some story details lol that whole arc left me shaken to my core and i've worked on forgetting it so it took a while to even remember they exist .. anyways, they found home in each other and could've been happy but they are who they are and they acted how they acted and that's that :) also my feels on song lan (and him with xiao xingchen) are mixed but this might be the one triangle i can see myself enjoying as a throuple.. i avoided stuff about that whole psychological horror arc so stuff that could sway me in any particular direction haven't been encountered in a while ✨

[laisai]

i just finished 800+ chapters of a chinese webnovel after about 5 days of reading on and off

and now i dont know what to do

(i mean yes i have many things to do its just -- im very book hungover. im out of fuel. i need to resurface and recalibrate etc etc)

oh and i read most of it via machine translation... but it was mostly surprisingly understandable, aided by the fact i speak chinese so i can kinda fill in some gaps when things are translated off or wrong (im illiterate in chinese tho so fancier stuff still eludes me, RIP)

it was so good tho. it was not a romance at all despite for some reason being labeled one (probably bc the labeling system is dumb and sexist in cnovels and they designate anything with a female lead as romance 🙄)

like 800+ chapters in and not even the side characters have much to do with romance.

also fairly certain the guy i ship with the protagonist is not going to be romantic with her, and he's just going to be like, a platonic sibling, while the guy who the authors notes? says is the male lead is uh. i dont see how this is gonna work lol. i don't want him.

oh right it's ongoing so 👀 it seems to update once a day? I'll have to keep checking back...

also it's actually good story about a female monarch. like she's set up to be a "lord" from a young age due to her personal philosophies during a chaotic age, and she naturally draws talented individuals to work under her to support her rule, and it focuses on her combat prowess, her clever political scheming, her love of farming (this one plays a big role lol), and her desire to put the needs of the people first in an age where warlords rule and don't care at all for the lives of the lower class.

it's soooo much about her competence, but doesn't feel too OP to the point she's a Mary Sue, and there's a lot less... focus? I guess on the sort of typical infighting and backstabbing that "female monarch" stories have, plus the lack of romance so far really sets it all apart

oh and it's also about her making the world less sexist and letting women also do magic and serve as officials and soldiers and be less helpless and dependent on men

ugh, i just really liked it a lot!!!

there's 30+ chapters translated by people online rn and there's 814 chapters total in chinese, which you can find just by searching the chinese title

it's called Step Down, Let Me Come! by Fried Shiitake Mushrooms, and the novel updates link is here:

and the chinese title and author are:

author: 油爆香菇

title: 退下，让朕来

i might have to figure out how to get an acct and comment on the official site for the novel (and also figure out which is the official site lol) and get my comment translated. i want to beg the author to make the male lead the guy she has actually met and has chemistry with! 😭😭 unless i misunderstood some translated authors' notes, I'm pretty sure it's not him and im just 😠 no. i dont want that lol.

[thereisnoblogniche]

The Last of Us (2023)

I have no outlet to talk about this. I need to express my thoughts somewhere. I just finished episode 7 today. i don't expect or necessarily want anyone to read this but if you are bored please don't expect this to make sense. i'm very tired and i feel myself nodding off as i type longer and longer (i'm writing this part last). I took some cold medicine and I am certain that is not helping. just a disclaimer for if you do read because it's all over the place and it's not pretty. very vulnerable and ugly look at myself.

"it's okay baby girl. I've got you." That line single-handedly destroyed me. Okay, that's not fair. It's what made me break down into the visceral, uncontrollable sobs that I couldn't contain or hide anymore. But it was far from working alone.

what an emotional, intense, wild ride. The show has been fantastic up to this point. I've had so many intimate moments with the characters. I've learned about them. Gotten to know them. Watched many of them die--fairly or not. It's not a fair world after the world ends. it may not be kind or gentle or morally good, but it's justifiable, if not just understandable.

The show is well-made, well-cast, well-acted, well-edited, well-done all over. But I feel gutwrenched. Sad. I don't want it to end. I haven't had enough time. I need more episodes. Why aren't they longer? Why aren't there 13? Why not have a whole second season dedicated to more of Ellie and Joel's relationship? I'm not ready for this to be over. I am just not.

I don't know how to succinctly or even long-windedly explain how I feel about this episode. All I feel is just empty and depressed. Just depleted. I am very affected by fictional media and find myself so wrapped up in the characters and story, you'd think I went through it and experienced it all myself.

I can't put it into words. I keep sitting here and trying. Yes, watching Joel and Ellie go from a transactional relationship to choosing to save one another over and over is beautiful. Yes, watching Joel open up and Ellie learn to survive are two things that I cannot do justice to by simply summing them up in a sentence as great character arcs. Yes, the stories, the dialogue, the action, the twists, the turns, the devastation--it's all a masterclass in video game adaptations. but there's more to it for me. Another level I can't quite articulate but I'll try.

I don't want to live through the apocalypse. I certainly don't want to live to see a fungal pandemic. BUT I think there's a part of me that wants to be saved.

There's a part of me who is Ellie. Who is tough and fierce and a survivor. But who just wants to be wrapped up in the arms of someone who chooses me. Joel grabbing her and hugging her at the end of the episode wasn't because he just saved her from the bad guys. She saved herself. He is no longer obligated to her. But he wants to be there for her. He comforts her all the same. He is still there for her in the aftermath, happy to be reunited with her. Relieved. Thankful. Maybe I'm not like ellie. Because I feel like I do need rescuing. I can't do it by myself. I'm tired. I'm weak. I need help. I do want to be held. I want to be protected. I want to be saved from the bad guys. Dont' give me the gun. Put me on the horse, give me your extra coat, defend me with your life. Actually, Ellie does that for Joel in this episode. She protects him and fights for him. What an amazing person.

It's something that's tugged at me since the show started. The idea of being saved. Being protected. Specifically by someone as ruthless and hardened and not so likeable as Joel. But he's someone who is hardened for a reason. Someone who is guarded for a reason. i respect it, I admire it. I fear it. I wouldn't dare try to crack that nut. No I am nothing like ellie. she is fearless (on the outside). she doesn't care. i could never. I care too much.

And she does too. She cares. She risked her life to save Joel instead of running away. She went through hell and back and survived to meet him on the other side. I could never. I would have been hoping and praying to a god I don't believe in to please save Joel in time so he could wake up and protect me.

Please protect me.

I need someone strong, someone too closed off, someone who is a bit of an asshole--warranted or not--likeable or not. And no I didn't like him for awhile. I didn't hate him. I just saw him the way I saw a lot of people in the post-pandemic world. Just people trying to survive I guess. they have their reasons.

But as time went on, I still found myself thinking, yeah, wow, that's the guy I would want in my corner. Tough and cold and unloving as he might seem. You know he wouldn't hesitate to protect you. And then to see him soften up and grow fond of ellie, in his own way, and then outright hug her and hold her and show her affection. I felt myself in that moment become ellie. that's what I mean when I say i am like her I think. I became her in that moment. Small, vulnerable, scared, horrified, traumatized, relieved, in need of a friend.

what do I need to do to find me a joel? that's not fucking healthy. I don't want an emotionally unavailable 56 year old. that's some therapy material. though it doesn't hurt that he is very attractive somehow (I say that like the whole world wasn't simping after him). but I found it to be more than that. there's something about this character specifically--because I didn't think he was all that attractive before. now I get it. there's definitely some psychological bullshit to explain why I feel so attracted to this, not just sexually, but like on a mental and emotional plane. I feel so validated by this arc and I ache so badly to feel it resolved in my life. i don't know how to explain that or appropriately express it.

i want to live vicariously and feel protected by a grumpy guy who learns to love me. that's toxic af but it's how i feel and i have had some uncomfortable feelings unlocked. all the girls with daddy issues be like,.. hahah hahahah just kidding. or am i?

just please love me. please love me. please love me. take care of me. even if you hate me or can't stand me or don't understand why i am under your protection. please save me.

i wish i were like ellie. she is way more self-assured and confident than i am. yes she is scared and insecure in some ways. she's human. but she isn't scared and insecure in the ways that i am.

boy this show has me fucked up. this fictional piece of media. fuck you HBO and naughty dog. I wish i never saw it

[theultimatefanficwriter]

Mastermind Hiro Headcanons

So it been a while since my random Mastermind Hiro post and I decided it's time you all get some sort of context.

My friends and I play this Roleplay game right? And in it i usually main either Kaito or Hiro. And I've never gotten Mastermind Hiro(cause we randomize the MM each time we play). However I have SO MANY IDEAS for the fucker and ive been unable to do anything but think of him. So now you guys will get all my ideas.

No you dont have a choice.

Firstly, MM Hiro isnt an idiot. In fact hes fairly intelligent, he just hides it behind his idiot persona to be less suspicious.

He also has a 100% accuracy rate, which has worn him down since not only does he always know what's gonna happen, but hes always aware when something bad is gonna happen, which, kinda like Bruno from Encanto, causes people to fear him. So he lies and says it's just a 30% accuracy.

Because of his readings, he's fully aware of what Junko is planning, and of the tragedy to soon come. So instead of waiting for it, he breaks and decides that HE'LL be the cause of it. And because no one knows the true accuracy of his predictions, he's able to take even Junko and Mukuro off guard and either convince them to let him take charge, or kill them off so they arent in the way.

He's still the same kind, emotional guy we know and love, but hes been broken down from years of being feared and ostracized.

His true goal in the game is to prevent the Despair he saw coming, but his mind is warped and he decides he needs to kill off some of the students to make sure that can happen(this is him "encouraging" certain people to become blackened).

Obviously it snowballs until he loses himself completely to the Despair he tried to prevent.

While not addicted to it, and he doesnt get a high from it like Junko, he finds the feeling almost comforting.

He also sees the whole thing as a good way to get out of his debt to the Yakuza, since if the world is in ruins, he cant be held responsible for that anymore.

I like to imagine that while his readings always come true, they CAN be changed. Hes just never had that happen. Until Makoto.

Ya see he actually foresaw that he would never be found out, and that the few remaining students would happily choose to stay in the school.

But because of Makoto's unwavering hope and unpredictable luck, the boy manages to convince the survivors to fight back, causing Hiro's reading to change.

When he sees that Makoto changed his reading...he feels...happy. And he let's the others vote correctly with a last "I'm sorry...I thought it was the only way...to help you all."

That isnt to say he didnt have another game planned for the poor souls who had already fallen deep under the control of his/Junko's despair.

And wouldnt ya know it? The very source of his debt is one of them!

So he has Alter Ego Yasuhiro prepared for the second killing game. This time his intentions are to kill them all and rid the world of all remaining Despair.

However, that damn Makoto.

I have some smaller stuff to, such as Hiro rekindling his friendship with either Taka or Leon(memories he of course still has, but they dont).

And when he gets close to them in the KG he tries to convince them to join him.

Which leads of course to them. freaking out and him having to get them killed.

If you guys enjoyed this random shit, lemme know! I have more headcanons for other characters(mainly Kaito, Shuichi and Ryoma).

Now if you'll excuse I must return to my hole where I will waddle in MM Hiro ideas.

[akechicrimes]

I'm a brand new goroboy and have questions if you don't mind answering any of them 1. Was everything that Akechi said about the PTs being unjust a part of his detective act or did he really believe that changing hearts was bad prior to the engine room? 2. When did he first suspect the PTs? Did he figure them out immediately at the TV station or did he just become interested in Joker cuz he's gay and figured it out afterwards lol. Basically who sussed who out first? (1/2)

hello welcome!!!!!! we are happy to have u!!!!!!!! 

unfortunately we dont have concrete answers to a lot of these, but i will do my best!!!! these are some really excellent questions so i want to do them justice. and by do them justice, i mean theyre under a cut because it got really long lmfao.

thanks for the ask–this was really fun to write, instead of doing literally any of the work that i was supposed to.

1. Was everything that Akechi said about the PTs being unjust a part of his detective act or did he really believe that changing hearts was bad prior to the engine room?

SHORT ANSWER: we don’t know.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: we can’t say for sure but there’s strong evidence that he was probably telling the truth, actually.

VERY LONG ANSWER: there’s strong evidence he both is and isn’t telling the truth in the TV studio scene, but with the qualifiers that (1) he never necessarily says theyre unjust, he says they’re dangerous. (2) he probably thinks the phantom thieves change hearts in the same way that he makes people go psychotic. (3) his sense of justice is basically entirely based on righting wrongs that have been committed against individuals, not what the law says. (also, when i say “individuals,” i mean himself.)

to the extent that he’s lying–he does say that they’re operating outside the law, and that they have unknown and apparently very effective power that cannot be stopped by traditional law enforcement. traditional justice says that if you operate outside the law, that makes you automatically bad. akechi is playing the part of someone who’s lawful good, so when he says, “they’re dangerous and operating outside the law,” he has to say, “that makes them unjust.”

to the extent that he’s telling the truth, that’s basically everything else he says. i do think those viewpoints are his own for a lot of reasons.

when he talks about the changes of heart, he makes it sound like it’s a thing that could just happen to anyone–even people who’ve done no wrong. when akira voices support for the PT, akechi argues back against akira to say “If [Ryuji’s] heart suddenly changed, wouldn’t you think it was the work of the Phantom Thieves?” like it could just happen to any random joe schmoe. he’s acting like someone could just one day change their entire attitude–possibly for the worse–resulting in terror amongst the population.

we have to keep in mind that at this point in time, akechi has no idea that you can steal treasure to change a person’s heart. he doesn’t even know treasure is a thing, let alone that you have to send a calling card to make it manifest. morgana is the person who knew all that stuff, and akechi definitely didnt have access to morgana when he started his hitman career.

so with the way that he’s talking about the changes of heart, i dont think he assumes that changes of heart always change the person for the better. he has no idea that it’s literally removing a person’s distorted desires. i’m like NINETY-FIVE PERCENT SURE that he thinks changes of heart operate in the same way that his psychotic abilities work: you cast a persona spell, and a person goes apeshit.

from his point of view, that’s kind of what’s happening. when akechi casts call of chaos, a person starts behaving in a way they never would under ordinary circumstances in the real world. the changes of heart really look exactly the same way to an outsider’s POV. and to akechi’s understanding, call of chaos can be cast on even good people. from the phantom thieves’ POV, only people who’re mega-dicks can have their hearts changed in the first place, because the requisite to have a palace is a certain level of distortion. (futaba, of course, proving that you don’t have to be a mega-dick to have a distortion, but the TV studio scene happens before futaba.)

akechi’s argument is that leaving that sort of power in just anyone’s hands is dangerous. because that’s a LOT of power for one person to have. akechi would know, considering that he’s in the same position. he’s wary of the fact that there’s no guarantee that that person will use it for good.

that, of course, brings us to the question of “well, what does akechi think ‘using power for good’ is in the first place?” does he think that the phantom thieves are using their powers for good? does he think he’s using his powers for good?

when asked why he seeks justice, akechi says: “Because of sickening human beings… Yes, my contempt for such people drives my sense of justice. It isn’t some grand reason like society’s sake or some lofty ideal. It’s simply an absurd grudge… and extremely personal.” 

the traditional, lawful-good way of thinking about justice is that if you operate outside the law, you’re automatically bad. but akechi’s sense of justice seems to be driven primarily from the hurts he’s suffered, the grudges he still bears, and his conviction that wrongs personally done against individuals should be righted. it’s an end-goal oriented sense of justice.

if wrong-doers are punished and the grudges are appeased, then justice is delivered. how that happens does not necessarily constitute justice. my best guess at this time is that he’d qualify a lot as “the ends justify the means,” since his concept of justice is end-goal oriented. 

of course, i think akechi definitely shows throughout the game that he knows that how you achieve those ends is… not irrelevant. i think his black mask outfit (and a bunch of other things he says) implies that he feels like he is a “villain” of sorts. he demonstrates feeling a type of way about killing okumura. he definitely knows that his actions are morally wrong under particular lenses. take a look at this section:

Akechi: Who cares? My targets were all doing the same damn thing in this eat or be eaten world. [referencing that all his victims were dicks who kind of deserved to get glocked]

Akechi: How is that any different from the Phantom Thieves?

Ann: We’re not murderers!

Akechi: (now looking kind of pissed) So what?! [launches into speil about how it’ll all be worth it when he exacts revenge on Shido]

obviously he knows that murder is morally indefensible. but i think he’s justified it to himself as either not so bad because he killed primarily corrupt people, and/or that it’d be worth it if he achieves revenge on shido. he’s doing some kind of weird karma cosmic-scale balancing of “how much can i get away with and still be able to call it justifiable and justice,” and it looks like his answer is “quite a fucking lot.”

ironically, this makes his views on justice fairly practical. rather than idealistically committed to some platonic edition of justice, he’s more of a “what do i need to do to get the goals i want achieved? what needs to happen to make sure that asshole abusers get what’s coming to them? what needs to happen to make sure that i get emotional closure?” the biggest issue with that is the danger of a Pyrrhic victory–the moment where the means so go far that the ends no longer justify them.

all of this is to say: when akechi is talking about the phantom thieves as potentially unjust, i dont think he has a problem with their methods. “methods” are like a knife–it’s about how you use it, and for what.

i think he knows that changing hearts, and turning people psychotic, is morally skeevy if your sense of justice is very puritanical, but his sense of justice isn’t puritanical. i think he’s wary of what they might be using their methods for. again: his big argument in the studio scene isnt necessarily that theyre unjust, only that they’re dangerous.

seriously, though–changing hearts is potentially a recipe for societal collapse if used the wrong way. imagine if the PT were more self-centered and they went the light yagami route with their new supernatural powers, maintaining peace and order through authoritarian fear. that is, actually, the entire premise of the P5 Vanilla Bad End, in which the PT enforce peace through relentlessly changing hearts and making people too terrified to keep committing crime. 

since his views on justice seem to be defined by what the end goal is, he’d have to know what those goals are before understanding if they’re “just” or “unjust”–which is probably why he keeps hounding akira for akira’s viewpoints on justice, tbh. the phantom thieves are only unjust if their end goal is unjust, not necessarily because of their methods. (see answer to question 2 for related/continued discussion.)

2. When did he first suspect the PTs? Did he figure them out immediately at the TV station or did he just become interested in Joker cuz he’s gay and figured it out afterwards lol. Basically who sussed who out first?

SHORT ANSWER: i pretty sure atlus expects us to believe that he figured it from even before the TV showing–he figured it out when he overheard ryuji saying “It’s not easy being phantom thieves” when they were in the hallway. it’s the same time and place where akechi did his famous pancake fuck-up.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: the idea that akechi was just super horny for the guy who gave him shit on live TV and then realized that akira was a phantom thief later as a neat bonus is fuckign SENDING me.

VERY LONG ANSWER: because of the scene with ryuji, i’m pretty sure he knew that akira was a phantom thief, and also i’m half-convinced that he somehow got the TV host to specifically choose akira during the “ask the audience” portion of the show. it’s really too much of a coincidence. 

because of that, i think the other implication of the scene is that he wanted to see what akira was made of when he invited akira for a debate on live television, and was pleasantly surprised when akira had something very interesting to say on the topic of grey morality and achieving justice outside the law.

what’s interesting about that scene is that akechi becomes interested in akira regardless of what akira says about the phantom thieves. akira’s options are “They’re justice itself,” “They’re necessary,” and “They do more than the cops”–so it’s not like akira ever says that he dislikes the phantom thieves, but the level of support ranges and two of these imply a justification/reasoning for it. and then akechi fucking argues back on live television like this is some kind of debate, instead of a daytime talk show meant to distract bored housewives. 

like. akechi gets INTO it. justice is his THING. and here’s akira, who seems to be not only a metaverse user operating outside the law like akechi himself, but also has some pretty grey morality thoughts on what justice is and could be, also like akechi himself.

taking it as a given that he knows for a fact that akira is a phantom thief from the get-go, from even before the TV scene ever even happened, then akechi probably keeps hounding him because akechi’s interested in hearing akira’s reasons. he’s not fishing for evidence, since he already knows. this is very speculative, now, but my best guess is that he keeps hounding akira ever after this scene because he wants to compare notes, one vigilante to another, to hear how akira rationalizes his vigilante work as a type of justice. very possibly, he’s seeking reassurance to himself that his own actions are justifiable. (he certainly seems that way in P5R, especially when he wonders about if a “justice nobody wants” is really a true justice at all, or just someone being self-centered.)

so re: “did akechi figure him out or was he just gay,” the answer is. yes. akechi did figure him out, and also akira made him so intellectually horny on live television that he hounded the man down in public for follow-up dates. 

what a king.

3. Does Akechi have a Velvet Room? Does he experience rank ups with Joker and the game over stuff too? 

SHORT ANSWER: we don’t know. no, seriously, we have no idea.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: i’ve seen compelling takes on him having his own velvet room, and i think it’s thematically very fascinating if akechi is quite literally akira’s counterpart in terms of cosmic chess pieces, but i would be surprised if he did. but again, seriously, since there’s no confirmation on the matter, i say akechi’s potential velvet room is fair game.

VERY LONG ANSWER: lore-wise, i’m betting no. akechi was yaldabaoth’s piece, while akira was philemon’s (if i’m remembering my lore correctly). philemon provides the velvet room to aid the people he chooses–yaldabaoth has no such deal. the only reason why yaldo was in the velvet room in the first place was because he wanted to fuck over philemon’s chosen trickster.

it’s the same logic for why someone like adachi wouldn’t have a velvet room: while souji/yu, namatame, and adachi were all given the power to go into the tv world by izanami, only souji/yu was selected by philemon to save the world from ruin, and was accordingly given the resources and aid to do so.

secondary bonus: the psychotic ability/call of chaos just removes a person’s bonds in their heart, which makes them behave as if they were crazy. it’s the exact opposite of joker’s ability to create bonds. yaldabaoth’s one gift to his chosen chess piece was to essentially undo the very social links that make akira strong. so again, i’d be shocked if akechi experiences things like ranking up, or any sort of velvet room/persona fusing mechanic.

personally i think the loki/robin hood divide just happened because he awoke to a persona twice. awakening to your persona just happens at moments of rebellion and strong resolve, and canonically even other persona-users “awaken” (sorta) twice when you max their social link. i’m betting that he just had two moments of resolve: one in which he wanted to be a hero of justice, and one in which he decided he was going to tear shido to the ground no matter how far into villainy he had to go.

but as always, it’s not like there’s a hard consensus on the matter. 

4. How did he kill the shadows of people who don’t have a palace? Does *everyone* have a shadow in mementos?

SHORT ANSWER: he probably kills them in mementos, and also i think we’re expected to believe that literally everyone has a shadow in mementos.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: i’m almost certain that the mementos depths section of the game confirms that basically everyone’s shadows are in there somewhere, even if they’re just your average joe with no significant distortions. the palace ruler for that section is “the public,” and also we do see the shadows of palace rulers who’ve had their hearts changed in the mementos depths. so even if you’ve had your heart changed and are supposedly a perfectly good human being now, this evidently doesnt disqualify you for having a shadow in mementos.

VERY LONG ANSWER: morgana says that mementos is the collective distortion of everyone in the area, but not a lot more concretely than that. morgana also says that reality is fairly plastic and that reality is somewhat determined by how we perceive the world, so i think that we’re expected to believe that everyone has, to some degree, some level of distortion.

i could say that jungian theory, which is the theory that the persona series is based off of, says that everyone without exception has a shadow. but this seems a little bit of a doylist explanation. instead i’ll point to persona 3, in which people without shadows literally become comatose and apathetic husks of themselves. this is because having a shadow is actually a fairly important part of a person’s psyche, and not having one doesnt make you a good and perfect person, it makes you a nonfunctional vegetable incapable of cognitive thought.

so yeah, i’m pretty sure EVERYONE is in mementos. with the exception of the phantom thieves, because… i think we’re expected to believe that their personas are in some ways their shadows? but also their personas are like, real-life kinning mythological/fictional characters so hard that you bind them to your soul? frankly i’ve been confused about how shadows work ever since persona 5 had people’s eyes turn yellow when they go through their awakenings, since perosna 4 used to use that as a sign that the person was a shadow, so… maybe i have no idea what the fuck im talking about. LMFAO.

[wexhappyxfew]

I dont know if the ships are still open, but if they are, could you ship me? I'm 5'3", curvy (lil chubby but I'm slowly losing the weight), long straight dark brown hair and dark brown/green eyes with pale skin. I just graduated with my Bachelor of Science in Nursing and I've been hired as a registered nurse on a cardiac floor (whoo!!!). I love hiking and writing and I've definitely become a much more outgoing person than I used to be. Very caring and protective, and blunt to a fault. Thanks!!!

FRANK PERCONTE was the one that walked up to you on your first day and talked to you. The other men had watched from afar as Frank sat down by your side where you sat on the bed, taking things from your luggage and started talking to you. It was the start of a blossoming friendship.

Frank and you would run side by side up Currahee, for you were both fairly tiny, and didn’t have the longest legs, but George Luz who wasn’t super tall either was always running with you guys. Frank and you got along very well. Your personalities were so alike, and if you laughed at something, he most liekly laughed at it to. That’s just how it was with you two, and always had been.

Getting to Aldbourne was quite hectic, with where people were staying, who would he doing what, where everyone would be on scheduled days. Everything. You were a medic, so Frank was upset when he didn’t get to see his ‘best friend’. George made fun of him all the time because he knew Frank liked you. Except you didn’t know that.

So, every morning, you got up and went to the aid station and Frank would join you in the early darkness as you chatted about the day and he told funny stories from home that made you laugh until tears fell from your eyes. Happiness looked beautiful on you, Frank had thought.

As the invasion approached, Frank started making more days where the two of you could just hang out together without a care in the world. You’d go up into the hills and look over into the small mountains, or go hiking or walk through town together. He held your hand a lot. He liked how it felt there and you did too, but neither of you admitted it.

After the invasion, you were the first person to see Frank and you had never hugged a person so tight. He loved your hugs. He stood back and looked at you smiling at him and looked into your brown-green eyes. He loved looking into your eyes. They were always so pretty, especially when the light hit them right and he always said it complimented your hair. You always blushed when he said that but he always told you it was true.

You loved the friendship he had with George Luz. Even if George was a little nosy on you and Frank’s relationship. Always asking how you two were, things like that. You both laughed it off even though George was determined to get you two together.

Frank always admired how caring you were with the men you took care off. He would visit you often or watch you from afar, hold the person’s hand as they took their last breath, or gently applying a bandage to a wound. You were such a caring person towards everyone you met. Frank always felt so cared for when he was with you.

Frank knows that you are hella protective though. You didn’t allow him to do certain things for you. You knew it’d be risking his life, and you couldn’t lose him. You’d rather risk your life to transport things in the darkness than have him lose his. And you were blunt. You were forceful in making sure Frank didn’t try to do anything risky.

You were the one that treated him when he got shot in the butt in Foy. It had been freezing cold each and every night, and even though you were upset Frank was injured, you always thought that he was going to be safer than the rest of you.

And when he came back, you hugged him and kissed his cheek in front of everyone. George was the only one that managed to break the awkward silence with a joke. That’s when George started plotting to get you together, to spill your feelings to each other.

It was finally after VE Day and you found Frank by the lake, looking at letters from his parents. You slowly sat down by his side and looked at him. George had given you a pep talk after you fessed up about your tiny crush on Frank. Frank slowly had looked towards you and you two talked quietly. But you couldn’t hild back as you kissed him. Holding his face in your hands as he dropped the letters quickly and wrapped his arms around you.

Frank couldn’t what might’ve been if he hadn’t talk to you that day, or decided to build up the courage to kiss you now. He loved every piece of you and how happy and outgoing you always were. You were always YOU! And he loves that about a person. :)

i know some others have shipped you with perco and he is your icon but u two just VIBE TOGETHER! and i loved the dynamic i got writing this so i hope it is ok!! 💛💛 have a lovely day!

[ruritto]

Hello ahhh I know everyone is on the prisoner felix bandwagon but but omg I found you when you posted about the jealous sylvain and everyone loving felix and thats just ahhhh perfect!! And I cant find any good fics like that and just if you are still doing prompts I would love to read more about it or if you want to expand on that or just SOMETHING I would love you I mean I already love you with all the sylvainxfelix you post but anyway I'm sorry to bother you and or if I dont make sense sorry

Skdlnglag anon please come to me any time you want to talk about that cause Jealousy fics are *chef kiss* anyway lemme try

~~

Sylvain isn't gonna lie. When Professor Byleth chose their class he was very happy. The professor was unbeliavably attractive after all. Not to mention she really is an amazing teacher and a kind person. So yes, Sylvain was happy, the whole class was, so he was even willing to look pass the whole crest thing. Particularly Dimitri, who Sylvain is amused to see looks absolutely smitten with the professor, and even Felix who proceeded to ask for a spar everytime they had free time (Sylvain has needed to patch up his friend more time in the last few months, proving the professor's skill).

When students from the other Houses started transferring in, well, sure it was surprising but hey, they all got along and the girls who transferred were all beautiful women he was more than willing to get to know.

But then...

It starts with Dorothea. While his interactions with her haven't quite been... positive, he finds himself wincing as he watches her approach Felix while his training. He has to appreciate her guts. She may be husband hunting and the Fraldarius might be a good snag but to actually approach Felix...

Huh.

Sylvain pauses. Somehow... the thought doesn't sit well with him.

'It's just, I know Felix. It's not something he'd want' He thinks to himself with a shake of his head. And knowing his dear friend he'd offend Dorothea.

Grinning he enters the training grounds in time to watch the show. Felix of course rejects her invitation and outright shoos hee. He winces but can't help but snicker at the expected outcome, earning a frown from Dorothea as she passes. He's about to apologize for his friend and offer his own company when a noise of disgust from Felix stops him from following her,

"Must all of you interrupt me?" He demands.

Sylvain is chuckling and approaching before he even realizes he's doing it, "Aw, come on. And here I was being a good friend and inviting you to dinner,"

Rolling his eyes, Felix turns away to continue his training but Sylvain throws an arm over his shoulder, "Hey!"

"Come on! I'm hungry and I know you actually want to try the dish at the dining hall," he says physically dragging his friend, thankful for the height advantage and the fact the training sword is blunted. Felix still punches him in the side though, but only to demand he return his equipment and shower before their meal.

He winks at Dorothea as they pass, feeling oddly smug.

~

He'd thought that would be the last of it. After all, Felix is prickly and harsh at the best of times, outright cruel sometimes. But apparently the new students of their class are as immune as the rest of the Blue Lions.

He watches as both Annette and Mercedes spend more time with Felix, Mercedes actually once petting the swordsman's blue hair (The sight made him clench his fists to stop from grabbing Mercedes's wrist, the urge surprising him into inaction long enough for the two to walk out of sight).

He's seen Lysithea trying to force cakes at Felix and had considered warning her off only to see the two actually enjoying the sweet treats together a few weeks later. (He was honestly so surprised he could only stand there, eyes transfixed on Felix eating the cake)

Even scared little Bernie who had ran from Felix the first few weeks she'd joined their class now approached him to chat happily! (Something in his gut twisted horribly as he watched Felix listen to her attentively. It's odd... Usually Sylvain would be the one chasing down Felix not Felix chasing someone else)

Something snaps (and even he isn't aware what it is) when he goes to the training grounds to join Felix, knowing the other would be the only one crazy enough to start training this early. He can't help but shake his head in amusement because really? Did he miss Felix that much that he's waking up to train???

Except his plans are ruined as he comes in to the sight of Felix and Dorothea, already about finished sparring.

Felix had an amused smile on his face and Sylvain feels like someone poured freezing water on him. He plasters a smile on his face and makes his presence known.

"Well well, this is a surprise," he says, strutting forward, "Didn't expect you to get caught up in this guy's insane training,"

Dorothea shrugs, "We've come to an understanding,"

And what? What did that mean? He almost wants to ask but Felix butts in.

"Are we getting tea or are you two continuing to flirt?"

There's something in the way Dorothea glances from him to Felix then back that he feels he should worry about but he shakes it off raising an eyebrow at his friend. Felix wasn't really a tea person, as far as Sylvain knew he's only ever joined when it was the professor that asks, but those tea sessions were special. Odd but he could go with it.

Then the girl is wrapping her arms around Felix's surprising even him. "Fine, fine, you're right. See you Sylvain,"

Sylvain blinks. Oh. Them. The two of them were having tea. Not including him.

Felix shrugs and allows Dorothea to drag him away to tea.

"What.." he mutters as Dorothea throws a wink at him over her shoulder, just before the door shuts behind them, "What in Seiros' name!?"

Sylvain stands there for what feels to him like hours, confused. The twisting in his gut is uncomfortable know and Sylvain's brows furrows in confusion. Anger?.. No it wasn't that..

Then...

Jealousy??

But, he wonders, what is he jealous of??? That Felix got to have tea with Dorothea??? Why would he be jealous of that???

The answer hits him like one of Dimitri's over powerful punches.

Oh. He's jealous that Dorothea got to have tea with Felix. He's jealous Lysithea got to share her cakes with Felix. That Bernadetta cuaght Felix's attention enough to be chased down by Felix.

He can practically hear Felix's scoff of 'Moron' as his knees fold on him and he buries his reddening face in his hands.

When the hell did he fall for Felix!?

~~

Confused and despodent Sylvain spends the day in the bar. Both he and the barmaids are shocked he barely pays them attention but he's too busy thinking about his revelation. What exactlt was he supposed to do after realizing he's probably in love with his best friend!?

Same best friend that ladies were now realizing was a catch.

The thought frustrates him because he's always known Felix was kind behind his cruel words. Always known Felix's training was to be strong enough to protect. He was the one Felix used to run to...

'Used to...' he groans and decides wallowing here drinking is doing nothing for him, making his way back to the monastery.

Of course, karma is out to get him and he bumps into Dorothea and Felix on his way back to his room.

Did they spend the whole day together??

The thought brings back his annoyance even as he watches Felix's expression go from flushed and surprised to confused to annoyed.

"Really, Sylvain? The bar? You really spent the whole day chasing skirt-"

Oh! Oh that was it! Sylvain did not spend the entire day in an existential crisis to be told that.

He scoffed, "Do you really have room to say that, Felix?"

Confusion before Felix realizes Dorothea is right beside him (the girl has smacked a palm across her face, which what??), and then Sylvain isn't even going to blame it on being drunk, as he stands there and does nothing as Felix's fist meets his face.

He groans, the force knocking him down.

"You!" Felix growls, "You utter imbecile! You're the one I-"

Biting down on his words Felix glares at him before stomping off, grumbling under his breath.

Well... fuck. He's really messed it up hadn't he?

"Well fuck Sylvain, you've really messed it up," Still clutching his cheek he looks up at Dorothea, "And after I've set it up perfectly too!"

What?

Sylvain is slightly drunk, and Felix's fist might have caused temporary brain damage but he's fairly certain the girl isn't making sense.

Crouching down before him, Dorothea gives him a look that tells him she thinks he's an absolute idiot. Which... okay fair. But nothing was making sense!

"Felix is in love with you, dummy," she sighs as if it's the most obvious thinf in the world (It is not! He would notice!), "I finally managed to get him to think it's a possibility considering how you reacted earlier when I asked him to tea,"

Oh.

"You boys are pretty dense," Dorothea states then thinks it over, "Well you are. Felix just follows your lead to much on this."

He flushes at the thought of Felix liking him.

And then promptly blanches.

Oh!

He's stumbling up, managing not to knock Dorothea over as he takes off running after Felix.

"Thanks Dorothea!" He yells back, "FELIX!! FELIX WAIT UP!!!!"

~~

Catching up to Felix is a pain, and Sylvain is fairly certain he's dying.

Bent in half and panting, he's thankful he's stronger than Felix as the other tries to pull a bony wrist free from his grip.

Frustrated with the struggling, he takes one last gulp of air before throwing himself forward to catch Felix by the waist and hauling him up, face buried in his shoulder.

"What the hell, Sylvain!? You brute! Let go!" Felix demands.

Ignoring the slaps to his head, Sylvain tightens the hug, "I'm so so so sorry Felix," he starts, "I was being a jealous idiot. And then I was too dumb to even realize I was being jealous," Felix's stopped struggling now, looking at him in surprise, "And then I didn't know what to do and said that just cause I was jealous you were with Dorothea,"

He must look pitiful enough because all he earns is a light headbutt, "Yes you were being a moron. Why would you think I'd be interested in her anyway?"

Fair question. Felix has never shown interest in a woman. Which considering all that was revealed makes warmth bubble in his stomach.

His hold has loosened now allowing Felix back on his feet. The other stays close though grumbling against his shoulder, "It's always just been you... Our promise..."

Ah. That promise..

"I'm dumb," he says again, "I'm sorry,"

"Hmph, you're lucky I love you..." was said quiet enough he almost missed it, and then a louder, "I'm still going to kick your ass in training for being an imbecile,"

~~

Uh. So yeah. Idk???? Hope you like it????

[blackmooncraft]

HOLY SHIT

So just a warning this will be a fairly lengthy post but i have to share what all I've experienced this evening.

As some of you may know...

Earlier this evening I had cast a spell to improve my spiritual awareness. At first i was doing just kind of an in general improvement on my sensing of certain energies. Midway through i thought

"Hey, I've had the deities on my mind for a couple weeks now... Maybe I should do a tarot reading for it."

The thing is that besides being a Percy Jackson fan in middle school I've never given any thought to any pantheons or gods. I always felt that there is something out there. Some sort of energy that guides us. But then today happened...

Tarot Reading:

Initially i had done a three cars reading. No certain meaning was placed on each card, just a general sense of who/what i was searching for.

This was my first pull. Not gonna lie i was exactly pumped about it.

The reversed queen of cups represents coldness and dependence

The queen of swords represents complexity and perception

And lastly the Lovers represent partnership and duality.

Nothing spoke to me really... I felt confused and that maybe i fucked up and didn't focus enough on what i was seeking info on. Nonetheless i took notes and researched as much as possible. Finally a name had come up.

Janus

I was never a fan of Roman mythology so this name was foreign to me. I read a bit into the god Janus and found that he represents Duality and Time. A god of gateways and passages. The typical image of him is a man with to faces. He is the embodiment of the end and the beginning. These ideas were a bit strange to me and i ultimately decided an hour later to reshuffle and find a God that i vibed with.

Idiot me did just that and pulled two more cards

Reverse Eight of Swords represents new perspective and acceptance

The reverse Sun represents all around mean negativity. In its description in my tarot app it asks what is clouding my vision from seeing the happiness that is right in front of me.

NOW YOU CAN SEE THAT I FELT ATTACKED

I felt that my deck was calling me the fuck out. Telling me that my refusal to accept a new perspective was clouding me from seeing the answer that its already in front of me.

So of course I tried accepting the previous answer. I went back and read up a little on Janus found that many of the ideals his followers have are in line with mine. That his presence marked the end of war but also its inevitable beginning. I began to fall more and more into the void before finally i snapped back and realized that perhaps i didn't have all the info my tarot could've provided.

So i went right back for another reading and guess who fell out of my deck once again on the third shuffle

Miss reversed queen of cups back at it again with the calling me out bullshit. Once again i should've known that i had been given the answers all in my first reading. I went back to her description in my tarot app and its asks a simple question...

How can you achieve independence?

All this time i was searching for a deity for selfish reasons. I wanted someone to pray to when I'm sad and push all of my pain onto. And while i feel that i can still do these things i thing that what i am being told is that i need to learn to depend on myself just as much. I need to find faith in myself and trust myself with problems instead of hoping that prayed can fix all of my problems.

And suddenly i felt peaceful. I felt grounded and whole and i felt content with what i had learned.

While i dont know much about Janus i will continue to research and learn but also i will look into myself and try to fix myself just as much as i will try to look to him. He will help guide me and i will also guide myself to a better life..

So yeah...

I guess that was it. I apologize for how long that was and i know that maybe one person will like this but i felt that in some way i needed to document what happened and share with others

Love you guys 💜

[dontreadthistrashgarbage]

G O T 7 pt.4

"Hey kiddos!" Guerin called out in English as she entered the dorm for HEET. She had messaged them earlier that she would be stopping by. Having wrapped up breakfast with JB she had enough time to catch the boys and Eneoji before they left for work for the day.

"Noona!" Seungbin jumped up from the couch and ran to into entryway to greet her, the large white Samoyed hot on his heels. Guerin hugged the maknae in greeting then kneeled down to give her dog attention. The other five members of HEET made their way out to greet her as well. They all settled in the living room, Eneoji sprawled across both her and the typically nonexpressive Tobio next to her.

She listened as they caught her up on how everyone had been faring and some plans they had begun working on, including a possible World Tour now that they had gotten their first wins. It hadn't been long since their last promotions ended but they had all been working hard on preparing for the next comeback. Guerin asked them if she should take Eneoji home but Seungbin and Tobio asked to let her stay longer.

"Just let me know if your days get too long and you can't get away to take her out or you cant bring her to work. She needs the attention." Guerin cautioned.

"That time might be coming soon." Byoungjin said reasonably, but once he caught the pathetic expression from Seungbin he added, "But we have another couple days at least."

"I've been running with her everyday still! Sometimes people recognize us!" The American Gabriel said excitedly, "She's been giving out pawtagraphs." The pun had been a joke between him and Guerin but had become recognized fandom canon when he had let it slip in a vlive.

"Did Jackson ever make an appointment with you?" Minhwan asked suddenly, remembering his Sunbae reaching out to him.

"Yes he did, and his puppy is super adorable, we should absolutely schedule a playdate with MinNao and Eneoji." Guerin gushed.

"I haven't seen him in a while. It would be nice to see him again." Byoungjin said, happy at the prospect of meeting up with his fellow trainee.

"I met a few other people you guys know too. Mark Tuan and JB." Guerin said, though she opted to leave out that she had just gotten breakfast with the latter to avoid too many questions, "JB even came to see Mihi fly."

"I've head of JB. Doesn't he produce under the name Defsoul?" Tobio asked curiously.

"Yes, he helped me learn music composition and arrangement." Byoungjin answered, "How is he?" He turned to Guerin and she faltered.

"Ahh... we... he is nice but we kinda had a disagreement recently." She said honestly.

"What happened? Noona are you okay?" Seungbin sat up protectively.

"Yes I'm fine. He apologized." Guerin said, touched by the fifteen-year-old's reaction as she pinched his cheek, causing him to pout slightly.

"I'm not that surprised. JB was always a little hot headed." Minhwan frowned.

Guerin was shocked, "Hot headed? I would never have described him that way. I thought he was fairly laid back, even cute sometimes."

"Cute?" Minhwan coughed out a laugh, "Im Jaebeom? He hated aegyo!"

"No I dont mean aegyo." Guerin couldn't help but laugh at the idea of JB attempting full blown aegyo, "But he has... cute mannerisms? Like he puffs out his cheeks when he is thinking, or scrunches up his face when he teases, or plays up certain emotions when he gets excited." She tried to explain.

Byoungjin was looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. You just described him very well." Byoungjin shrugged, clearly not telling the full truth.

"Yeah he had some of that too but he used to get mad and blow up a lot." Minhwan explained, "If he thought someone was being disrespectful, wasting time, not trying hard enough..." Minhwan flinched, "It wasn't fun being on the receiving end of that."

"I never would have guessed." Guerin said.

"Did you get yelled at a lot, Hyung?" Gabriel asked leader Minhwan, a slight cheeky quality to the inquiry.

"No, you rude punk." Minhwan answered back with even more sass, "But JB would have destroyed you. If you aren't careful I'll call him in to teach you a lesson." He threatened playfully, giving the younger man a couple pokes to the ribs, causing Gabriel to giggle and flinch away.

"JB had a rough childhood. His birth father wasn't a good person and he suffered for it. He talked about trying to change it. He was aware and he didn't want to be the kind of man that hurt his mom." Byoungjin said seriously. Minhwan and Gabriel looked chagrined. Everyone was quiet, unsure of what to say. Guerin processed the new information carefully, adding a bit more understanding to JB's personality.

"He must be working hard. It's not easy to overcome that kind of trauma." Tobio unexpectedly said. He wasn't as talkative as the others but when he did he had a habit of poignancy. The others nodded thoughtfully.

"What did you two fight about?" Seungbin asked suddenly.

"Oh... it's so embarrassing." Guerin hid her face in Eneoji's fur.

"Noonaaaaa, tell us!" Seungbin plied, pushing her gently and using full aegyo to get her to answer. She tried to avoid looking at him but he was too powerful.

"Okay fine." She pushed Seungbin away as he grinned in triumph and Gabriel cackled.

"He... asked me to sing a song he wrote." She said quietly.

"He asked you to sing?" Gabriel was floored.

"Noona we told you that you have a nice singing voice." Minhwan boasted. They had all spent time around her so they had heard her many times.

"Yeah but I'm not a professional. It's just for fun." She felt like she had to keep repeating it.

"Maybe he likes you." Gabriel said, then adding in English, "-likes you- likes you. Y'know?"

"Gabriel!" She said astonished, "Minhwan I can't reach, would you shove him for me."

"I don't know, he might have a point." Minhwan shrugged, trying not to laugh.

"Well he better not." Seungbin said making a face, "Noona you deserve someone nice."

"Don't speak ill of people you haven't met." Tobio scolded the youngest gently. Seungbin apologized and ducked his head. Guerin smiled fondly at the well intentioned boy before she caught another thoughtful expression on Byoungjin, who quickly blanked his face as soon as their eyes met. She didn't have a chance to question him before Minhwan changed the subject to talk about Mark and Jackson too and she forgot to bring it up again until after she had left.

"Charlie-ssi, have you eaten yet?" Jinyoung asked, coming up beside his favorite producer as she pored over a thick stack of notes.

"No, not yet..." she answered, distracted.

"That's silly, it's our meal break. Come eat with me." He said, taking a step back and gesturing toward the food truck that had been sent by his costars friends.

She glanced up, feeling regretful at having to say no to such a handsome man asking her to join him for a meal, "I can't, I want to finish this first. Besides, I'm on a diet, I wasn't going to eat anyway."

Jinyoung looked offended, "A diet?" He repeated blankly.

"Yeah, I've put on some weight and being around all these beautiful actors..." she trailed off realizing she might be oversharing.

Jinyoung shook his head disapprovingly, "Ridiculous. You're beautiful the way you are." He turned to walk away, muttering, "A diet."

She was frozen for a moment. Did Park Jinyoung just call her beautiful? She shook her head. It was probably just lip service. Still, it was disappointing not being able to eat with him. But she had eaten and drunk so much last night, she was feeling positively bloated. Shaking her head once more she turned back to her notes.

A few minutes later a plate of chicken with vegetable sides and half a cupcake was placed on the table in front of her. Looking up she saw Jinyoung settling in the chair next to her, holding a similar looking plate with the other half of the cupcake. She watched him in surprise as he nonchalantly settled in, picking up his chopsticks before meeting her gaze.

"Skipping meals is unhealthy. You should take care of your body and feed it well." His genuine smile made her heart race and she blinked to get her bearings. His smile turned slightly more mischievous as he reached over to break off a piece of cupcake with his chopsticks and raise it to her lips, "but a little treat every now and then is good too."

It took her a moment but she responded by opening her mouth and taking the bite, blushing and quickly looking around to see if anyone had seen. Jinyoungs smile took over his whole face, eyes crinkling as he turned happily back to his own meal. Charlie smiled too, then set aside her notes to dig in as well, talking with him as a few more crew members joined them at the table creating happy chatter during their break.

Guerin had met up with Jackson and MinNao for another training session, this one focusing on loose leash walking. Jackson and his puppy were both eager to learn and absorbed information, putting it into practice readily. The two humans chatted about training theory as they walked but it devolved into general chatter and joking around.

"Oh, why don't we get a coffee? MinNao can practice being calm and greeting people." Guerin suggested suddenly as they passed a shop with outdoor seating.

Jackson beamed, "That sounds great!"

"Go ahead and get seated. I'll order inside." Guerin pointed to a table on the patio.

"Wait, take my card." Jackson started to reach for his wallet.

"Nope! It's on me!" Guerin grinned and skipped away from him through the doors, ignoring his protests. He was left to make his way to the patio with his rotund red puppy. It wasn't long before Guerin reappeared with two iced Americanos, placing one in front of a pouty Jackson as she settled across from him.

"Oh MinNao, yes, I missed you too." Guerin cooed at the puppy who had begun wiggling as soon as she was back in sight, pointedly ignoring the sulking man. Jackson squinted his eyes petulantly, reaching over to his drink for a sip, not looking away. Once Guerin sat back she couldnt help but giggle at Jackson's exaggerated mood.

"Oh come on," she protested with a laugh, "Can't I buy a friend a coffee?" She returned his pout playing up the cuteness as much as possible.

Jackson let out his trademark high pitched squeal "Cuuuuute!" He exclaimed, leaning back and crossing his arms over himself defensively, dimples showing from his grin. Guerin couldn't help but laughing at his adorable reaction. The two continued their banter, intermittently reinforcing and playing with MinNao until during a lull Jackson changed the subject.

"Did you ever end up talking to JB again?"

Guerin took a moment, piecing together how she wanted to phrase the experience, "Yeah... he actually apologized. He seemed really genuinely upset with himself."

"What happened?" Jackson leaned forward curiously.

"It happened the same night we went out." She paused, "It sounds weird but he ended up at my apartment, drunk. He was really upset and apologizing a lot. I didn't feel comfortable sending him away that drunk so I let him pass out on the couch."

Jackson had no poker face. He sat back, looking disgruntled, "He spent the night?"

Guerin immediately tried to clarify, "Yeah but he was just passed out on the couch. It wasn't like... that." She floundered, "The next morning he didn't even remember but he bought us breakfast and apologized properly." Jackson still had an odd expression on his face so she tried to move on, unsure of how to phrase the scenario any better, "He actually asked me to try recording again."

"What did you say?" Jackson asked.

"I told him I'd try it." She felt strangely guilty admitting it so she avoided Jacksons gaze by focusing on taking a sip on her drink. Jackson floundered for a moment. He didn't want Guerin to set herself up for hurt again but JB was a close friend.

"If he apologized then he'll be better this time." He said, nodding resolutely, "You can trust him."

Guerin was relieved with Jacksons understanding. Him vouching for JB's character set her more at ease, "Thanks Jackson. It feels good to hear you say that." She smiled softly at him.

He beamed back at her before changing his expression to overdone disapproval to match his scolding tone, "But you don't have to let just anyone stay at your house overnight. You should be more careful!"

She laughed in shock, "Oh my god!" She exclaimed in English, "Nothing happened! It was nothing!" She said defensively.

"Still. It looks bad. Next time send him home." He said petulantly.

"Whatever." She said in English again, tsking at his attitude dismissively. They argued playfully for a bit before the conversation flowed naturally in another direction.

JB and Jackson met for dinner later that evening. They caught up with light chatter about their current projects and Jacksons upcoming schedules in China. Their discussion was light and friendly, with a lot of laughter from the both of them.

"Guerin agreed to try recording for my new song." JB brought up amidst their discussion of projects.

"Hyung." Jackson said suddenly. JB looked up at Jackson while reaching for a bite of food, "You need to be nice to her this time." Jackson added seriously. JB hesitated, remembering seeing Jackson hugging Guerin after his blow up.

"Ah..." he didn't know what to say so he shoved some food in his mouth as he thought. Jackson waited. "I was wrong that time. I was a jerk. I won't do it again." He said resolutely.

"And you shouldn't spend the night at her house either." Jackson added seriously. JB looked at his friend with wide eyes, shocked.

"I saw Guerin today. She said you came over to apologize." Jackson said, "I know you meant well... but... I told you before I like her. So I don't like you staying there overnight."

JB finished chewing and swallowed, "Ah... about that..." Jackson looked at him inquisitively, "I didn't say anything before. I thought I could give it up. But I like Guerin too." He looked ashamed, "I tried to distance myself and I got upset and I took it out on her. So I decided I need to be honest with both of you. I'm sorry I wasn't honest from the beginning."

Jackson couldn't hide his surprise. A variety of emotions passed across his face rendered uncharacteristically speechless. JB waited patiently for him to recover. After a few moments Jackson looked resolute, "We can't help how we feel. Neither of us own Guerin or have a right. Regardless, you're my precious friend and nothing is going to change that."

"Waaahhhh." JB said, impressed. He offered his hand to his friend which Jackson took and they shook fondly, "That was cool." They grinned at each other.

"I'm still going to confess." Jackson said, widening his eyes and locking eyes with JB who chuckled at his friends comical expression.

"Yeah. I think I will too." JB responded.

"Don't spend the night at her house again though." Jackson pouted at JB.

"I can't promise that." JB said breaking the seriousness, turning his gaze to food and reaching for another bite.

"Hyunggg." Jackson caught onto the shift in the mood as he whined, "Don't be like this."

"Like what?" JB played innocent, chewing and opening his arms questioningly.

"Hyuuuunnngggg...." Jackson whined more, pouting with his full body, causing JB to laugh loudly and offer the barely younger man a bite of food to satiate his sulk.

"Thanks for helping me pick out some new makeup." Charlie smiled at Mark. The two of them were meandering toward the famous makeup district in Seoul.

"It's no problem! I don't have a shoot today and I like spending time with you." He responded with a smile, but had to look away at the last part shyly. Charlie blushed, unsure of how he intended the message but she was flattered regardless.

"I usually do really simple makeup but with our wrap party soon I wanted something a bit more flashy. I figured, you're a model, you might know what you're doing." She shrugged.

Mark laughed, "Well I usually have makeup done to me but lucky you I can do some as well."

The pair entered a shop and meandered through, with Mark making suggestions and offering feedback on Charlie's questions.

"I don't know if that color would look good on me..." she said dubiously eyeing sparkly purple eyeshadow.

"Sure it will. Pair it with this lighter shade, it'll complement your hair well and go with your pink contacts." He pushed. When she continued looking doubtful he pouted at her, "You said you wanted a bolder look, don't you trust me? You should at least try it."

"Okay... I'll try it." Charlie gave in to his cute expression.

Mark beamed, causing her heart to race. He really had an unnecessarily beautiful face. An unnecessarily beautiful everything. She blinked to clear her thoughts as he grabbed the sample eyeshadows. She reached to out to take them from him but he pulled away.

"I'll do it, so you can see what I mean." Mark said. Charlie hesitated then dropped her hand.

"Okay..." She couldn't think of a reason to not let him and just hoped she could cope with proximity.

"Close your eyes." He instructed as he opened the first shade. She obeyed and tried not to flinch as he applied the colors and blended them together. It felt like forever. He was so close his breath would wash across her face and neck. His touches were gentle but precise. Her mind wanted to wander but she locked that down as best she could. "Okay." He said finally.

Charlie's eyes fluttered open, she was surprised to still see him so close to her. He studied his handiwork then nodded, looking into her eyes with a proud close lipped smile, "It looks great on you."

She felt herself blushing again and turned away quickly with the pretense of finding a mirror. Locating one quickly she looked in and gasped, "Oh, wow that does look really cool."

"Thanks." Mark stepped up behind her, still looking proud.

"Alright I'll get these then." She nodded but avoided his gaze.

"Let's find a lip color to go with it. Maybe something more neutral..." Mark said thoughtfully before turning and wandering toward the lip section. Charlie took a couple breaths before following after him.

"Boy Howdy do I got news." Guerin said, slipping into the chair across the table from her friend. The two of them often defaulted to English when speaking with each other. Charlie looked up, from her coffee. She and Mark had gone their separate ways not too long ago. She had, of course, removed the makeup before leaving the shop.

"Same." Charlie sighed in response, leaning her head on her hand as she frowned at her friend.

"Oh? Tell me about it." Guerin leaned forward expectantly, curious about the news.

"I might be imagining things..." Charlie started, then fidgeted as she tried to piece together what to say, "Probably just wishful thinking..." she trailed off again.

"Spit it out!" Guerin urged, tapping the table to snap her friend back to attention.

Charlie groaned and covered her face, "I'm just thinking ugh! So... I think I have feelings."

"Oooohhhhhh?!" Guerin sat up with a grin and wiggled excitedly, "Who is the lucky person?"

"That's the problem. Well. One of them..." she started to trail off again before she caught Guerin's gaze again and forced herself to spit out, "I think I like two people. I think I like Jinyoung and Mark..." Guerin grinned and let out an appreciative sound but Charlie continued, "And I think... they might like me? But I'm not sure. And like... what could two such handsome men see in someone like me? I must be imagining it."

Guerin scoffed, "Yeah, what could two men see in a smart, fun, sweet, beautiful, strong woman like yourself. Absolutely ridiculous." The sarcasm couldn't have been laid on thicker.

Charlie forced one corner of her mouth up into what was supposed to be a smile but was more like a disbelieving grimace, "Thanks..."

"Don't you give me that face. Give yourself some credit. You don't have to believe everything I said, even if it IS the truth. But you have a lot of excellent qualities. What's not to like?" Guerin argued.

"Come on, maybe for an average person. But these guys are surrounded by incredibly beautiful people all the time. I am so plain in comparison. I barely wear makeup and my standard is hoodies and jeans." Charlie looked increasingly despondent as she spoke.

Guerin frowned, "You might not be a movie star but give these guys some credit. Hopefully anyone you like would be decent enough to not measure a person's worth by how glamorous they can be." Charlie still didn't look convinced, "Listen I can't make you believe me. I haven't met Jinyoung but I did meet Mark. I might have been having a bad night but even I could tell, ya boi was into ya."

Charlie couldn't help but chuckle at her friends earnest and goofy way of speaking. "If you say so." She suddenly looked up, determined, "Speaking of! Any news on that front?"

"Oh, yeah. Geez." Guerin launched into the explanation of JB coming over drunk that same night. At first she told the same edited version she had told Jackson but after finishing she hesitated.

"Well it's good that he apologized." Charlie narrowed her eyes at her friends expression, "Guerin you have no poker face. What are you hiding?"

Guerin laughed nervously, "I uh... well... while he was drunk... it kinda sounded like he was confessing feelings too."

It was Charlie's turn to coo at the juicy gossip. Guerin waved her hand dismissively, "Don't get excited. When he woke up he didn't say it again. He didn't even remember."

"Mmhmm." Charlie said, sipping her coffee like Hyungwon. Guerin rolled her eyes, uncharacteristically at a loss for words. "Sounds like you've got a love triangle."

"What? With who?" Guerin gasped.

"JB and Jackson." Charlie said in a sing song voice.

"Oh stop. JB was drunk and Jackson is friendly with everyone." Guerin shook her head.

"Mmhmm." She made another point of sipping her coffee with emphasis. "You make a big production of how every man should be in love with me and you can't even notice a puppy begging for attention and a drunk confession. Come on."

Guerin could understand her perspective but still found it unbelievable. She didn't voice her thoughts again.

[kai-tashi]

Tag Games

Tagged by lovely @gg-astrology 💕 so sorry I responded so late I was caught in hell these past few weeks

I'm not gonna pretend to be an expert at astrology but I'm giving this a shot based on my presumptions of what each sign and their placements would be like

Placements from each sign that I love/would love to date:

Aries Moon ▪ Mars

Idk I just feel like these kind of people would really challenge me? I love a good challenge but i can be a little too lazy about getting around to it unless i have some fierce competition/motivation. And also (esp with an Aries moon) I find their impulsiveness or like, that expressive, fiery, childlike quality kind of endearing and I think that helps me break out of my shell in a way too so yeah ♈

Taurus Venus

Okay so this placement I think would just speak to my Taurus moon very~ well. They'd probably give me this feeling of absolute domestic bliss along with all the security net that I think I'd want in a home with my partner. Also, being a Taurian moon, I know we can be quite fun and playful once we're comfortable enough so I think this placement would be really cool ♉

Gemini Moon ▪ Mercury

These placements would just fill my world with equal parts fun, wit, intelligence and confusion. My best friend has a Gemini moon and I absolutely love that about her because it makes her very unpredictable in certain ways and it keeps me on my toes without making it feel tedious. It also kind of cuts through my intensity at times so it's healthy relationship in that perspective. And I love how Geminis express themselves because it's a really different way from mine and I love learning that about them ♊

Cancer Sun ▪ Mars

My best friend (same as above) also has a cancer sun and gah if there were a few tweaks here and there in each of us, I would've already been dating her. They're just so...complex and homey and strong. So strong. I love that about them. The only problem I see with this placement is that I wont be good enough for them and that I tend to go off on my own more than is considered healthy (esp in a relationship) so that would just hurt them. But yeah otherwise, this is just such a lovely placement ♋

I dont really get along well with Leos actually. I just have one friend who's a Leo Sun but she has a lot of air placements in her chart which make her very different from a stereotypical Leo so since my interaction with Leos are quite limited I dont think I can speak fairly about which Leo placements I like. I usually end up not liking any 💕 I mean no offence to any Leo's out there reading this I just havent met the right one! ♌

Virgo Sun ▪ Moon ▪ Mercury

I had to stop myself from adding Venus and Mars too. I just...get along very well with virgos. Incredibly well. All my life I've been surrounded by virgos, one of my best friends is a true blooded Virgo with three personal placements in that sign. I get them in a way others don't and they get me in a way nobody else does. And we're often similar to each other in some ways but in other ways completely opposite. I cant' really explain it? But even, like, a majority of my crushes and my ex was a virgo/had a lot of virgo placements so I guess it's just fate ♍

Libra Mercury

Man where do I even begin. These guys are the only ones who can leave me speechless. They're so articulate and know how to put a point across without disturbing either party, and their mind is always just so damn beautiful. They have so many thoughts and ideas and they want to share it, learn from others, and it's just such a lovely thing to see. I find them mesmerising. But at the same time they can be really fun, teasing, kind of flirty. And it's just a switch and it keeps me on my toes, and ah..yeah. ♎

Scorpio Venus ▪ Mars

Hahaha I'm a scorpio sun and a venus so I guess it may explain why I am also attracted to similar placements? I think I understand them and their actions far better because I empathise with them. I understand where they're coming from and I know what's going on in their mind. I know that my other placements and my own aspects help me internally balance out myself so I tend to be drawn to similar people who may not have it all figured out. And even if they do, I still find myself reaching for them. It's just a connection I cant ignore, really ♏

Sagittarius Moon

How do I even start? This placement fills me with joy especially if it's a earth sun-fire moon combo. I find myself getting along really well with that combo. Idk man these people just seem so interesting and it makes me so curious about them and also endeared by their little actions and thoughts and the way they kind of go about their own life. It's just...very cute. I love this placement a lot 💕♐

Capricorn Moon ▪ Mars

Man these people are DEDICATED. I love it. Once they commit I know they mean it. The security that I get from a Taurus Venus is basically what I also get from a Capricorn Moon except I know I've got to work harder perhaps at breaking into their shell. And that's fine. These people are always worth it. They're honest and loyal and I admire that so much about them. So much ♑

Aquarius Sun

So my ex was an Aqua sun but the mixture of other signs in their other placements makes it a little hard to judge if they were you know, a typical Aquarius. However, from what I've read about them, I think it would be a very interesting relationship. Their philosophies and basic ideologies are similar to mine but their way of going about it is different. This difference is something that I feel I could try to learn from them rather than shun it so there would be a lot of exchange? in those terms I guess ♒

Pisces Sun ▪ Venus

And at last, the lovely Pisces. Pisceans are just...kinda impossible to not love. I've never met a Piscean who I did not like, whose thoughts and manner of being I was not intrigued by. They are really intuitive and creative people and I love how they see the world. It's very different from my view and it's something that I can only wish I could see. But again, like with Cancer, I fear that I may hurt them so i think that fear will always keep me away from them ♓

For this I tag @namjoonchronicles my lovely friend, and the only other person on tumblr who I know, loves astrology! 💕💕

Anyone else who comes across this and wishes to do it is free to do so!

[omglr]

You're now chatting with a random stranger.

You both like feminism.

You: hi

Stranger: m

Stranger: hi

You: F

Stranger: age

You: 34

Stranger: what do you think of men

You: meh

Stranger: what do you think of women

You: yeah!

Stranger: is this what feminism is about?

You: no i'm just a lesbian

Stranger: hahaha you know our conversation up until now can be a great meme

Stranger: with 'lesbian' as the perfect punchline

You: well, we do like fisting

Stranger: why are lesbian lol, why dont u switch to me haha

Stranger: are u*

Stranger: men*

You: idk, thats how it worked out

You: women are attractive to me

Stranger: Is it you being a lesbian a display of resistance against patriarchy?

You: its a perk

You: but i'm not a "political lesbian"

Stranger: what kind are u

You: a lesbian,

You: also, fairly political,

You: but in the 70s there were a variety of 2nd wave feminists who swore off men even though they were straight and became "political lesbians" even though they weren't atttracted to women

Stranger: you mean turning lesbian as a resistance to patriarchy was really a thing?

You: yeah

Stranger: damn. Did it work?

You: eh... idk

You: its similar to MGTOW

You: but with gay lady sex

You: and forrest communes

You: it was a whole movement

Stranger: tell me this. when you talk to men. what emotion do you internally go through? Do you feel prejudice against him? Or Is it something like 'I gotta be on guard I dont know whether this person is rapist', or '

You: eh, yeah, i sometimes worry about violence or rape from dudes, but i can get along with a lot of guys fine,

Stranger: the ones you get along with, do you interactions with them any different than with other women? or do you have certain coldness towards because you know this is the gender that oppressed you all history?

Stranger: are interactions*

Stranger: towards them*

You: eh, not really, i can be friendly and affectionate with guys i like, i generally want to like people

You: but like, i don't hang out with rich dudes or loud jock dudes

You: and yeah, i'm way more upset at the rich for their oppression than men at this point

Stranger: how is the rich oppressing u more than men

You: capitalism man

You: i live in an oligarchy

You: rich people can do what ever they want and shape society to benefit them

You: we are probably all gonna suffer greatly due to climate change cause the people who are making money off of how the system works now, don't want to give up their power or change anything

You: so its butts

Stranger: you can't change this tho. better be mad about things that can be changed

You: nah, i'm gonna be mad about shit that is effecting me and my loved ones, its healthy to be aware of what the cause is

You: and direct my anger to the cause, other wise i'm gonna misdirect it towards my friends

You: plus, its not hopeless, we can stand up to rich

You: folks

You: we have numbers, and most their money is digital / artificial

You: anyway, that's basically what feminism is for me

You: its a useful tool for class analysis

You: and a guidance for justice

Stranger: feminism isnt related to class

Stranger: as far as i know

You: c'mon bud

You: have you heard of intersectionality?

Stranger: I stopped paying attention to terms now

You: well it came in big during 3rd wave feminism in the 90s

You: when feminism was trying to refocus to cover more understandings of oppression than like white lady feels

You: thinking about the intersections of sexism, racism and classism,

You: as well as ableism, homophobia, transphobia, and so on

Stranger: did that start in the 90s?

You: i'm sure convos were happening earlier too

You: roughly late 80s early 90s is where i would put 3rd wave

Stranger: I don't know, but I think current one now has refocused purely on lady issues again. atleast that's the kind that stays in the spotlight

You: well, i think that's mostly the click bait phenomenon

Stranger: look at twitter

You: like shit that is sorta outrageous sounding gets a lot more attention

You: like, "manspreading"

You: like, men taking up space in general is an issue, but the politics of crossing your legs on a bus gets clicks on both sides of the issue and is talked about way more than the complex economic trickery that rich people can do to avoid paying taxes

You: and one is kinda more important than the other

Stranger: how're the women around you? are they like the manspreading feminists or they're more like you?

You: eh, idk, a bit of both

You: like i get bored and can use shit i've learned about feminism to analyze situations and can come up with hot takes that are at least 50% stupid cause society is atleast 50% stupid and ridiculous,

You: so idk, if my shitposting tweets ever went viral or got shared on mra forums maybe i would be the postergirl for how ridiculous and pointless feminism is too

You: sorry, i am just ranting now

Stranger: it's alright. so you're part of the man hating culture of twitter too huh? :p

You: sure

Stranger: do you feel when u do that?

Stranger: feel good*

You: nah, i mean i try not to get into shit on twitter

You: i kinda use twitter to get out my energy that might be put towards flame wars

You: its not a good feeling to get involved in

Stranger: ok, do you atleast get the psychology of them that do these? Why do they do it? Is it the loneliness or something?

You: oh, yeah idon't know.

You: probably boredom, or for building social capital

You: for the lolz of ammusing their friends/followers

You: but some folks are crazy dedicated to twitter fights and ideological warfare

You: like terfs or gamergaters or fandoms

Stranger: I mean how do they have meaningful relationships in real life after all the flame wars. Aren't their relationships affected?

You: i am not sure

You: i mean, i stopped getting into fights on facebook over concerns for a larger community

You: but my personal relationships aren't really effected

You: cause i'm super smart and my loved ones agree with me

You: lol, that's a joke

Stranger: where are you from

You: canada

You: you?

Stranger: I see. Canada is a very pro-women

Stranger: uk

You: it tries

You: what time is it there?

Stranger: I see countless answers on quora of men complaining that men are becoming second citizens to women now. is it true?

Stranger: 6 am

You: its 1:17am where i am

You: i think that's some kinda weird bias

You: like, where if women talk 30% of the time, men come away with the impression that women were talking much more than 50% of the time

You: idk if that's true, but that was a study that was popular on social media a few years back

Stranger: it's not about talking, i see them mostly talking about rights, and in general specialised treatment of women.

You: anyhoo, i'm getting real sleepy

You: yeah, idk,

You: i am gonna head out, nice chatting with you

Stranger: sure, it was nice talking to you!

You: :) take care

You have disconnected.