#i dont have a chronological order thought out to these

[littlebittyhollowbugs]

Trial by fire: Tale of the Mantis Lords

The newly appointed lords of the mantis tribe continue to honor their agreement with the kingdom of Hallownest, keeping the beasts of Deepnest at bay.

The task growing more difficult, as their enemies grow stronger,

And as the eldest and youngest's plans begin to clash.

Chapter one (5k words)

Read below the cut~

Oriana glides down the walls, with her bone crafted claws and two sinew baskets filled with goods from the hunting grounds strapped onto her back.

The second and third born children of the mantis tribe's ruler glide down behind their sister, each carrying a basket of her own.

"Ori look out! You'll land on a sporg!" Siara shouts.

"I'm not so easily fooled!" the eldest of the three laughs after hitting the bottom level of their fungal framed village.

She then takes off fast as a wind scythe in the midst of battle.

Determined to leave her sisters as far behind her as is necessary in order to be crowned victor of their homeward bound race.

"Ori your basket's slipping!" The second born shouts again, another attempt to slow her down or distract her.

The supplies she carries are strapped to fit.

She sprints onward.

"If you wish to best me, you'd have a better chance utilizing your feet rather than your mouth!"

She can hear her sister let out a winded scoff somewhere behind her.

She chuckles. Her sisters are determined but not so much as she.

She is still surprised with how quick her legs can carry her.

It wasn't long ago the wings that she relied on since birth had been ceremoniusly clipped.

The hind-wings that is, and now her indigo fore-wings wrap over her shoulders like a cloak billowing in the wind behind her.

"I was simply testing your wit sister." Siara's voice becomes clearer as she catches up, still breathing heavy and apparently more determined than Oriana had anticipated.

"Obviously I intend to win!"

Oriana picks up her pace just before Siara can pass her.

Bounding over shrooms and dodging pikes bearing the faces of their greatest foes.

These remnants of once mighty beasts directing her home to the champions court.

The lowest level of the mantis territory boardering the caverns of Deepnest had long been reserved for the strongest of warriors.

Oriana's lineage had proven to be the mightiest and thus had borne the responsibility of leadership these past four generations.

She and her sisters had recently completed the trials that would determine whether or not they are worthy of residing in the court themselves.

Having been trained since birth, and at last proving herself to her mother, her mentors, and the tribe, she is immeasurably proud to call the place her home.

And she's almost made it back.

Almost won the race.

"Wo- aah!"

Oriana halts upon hearing her youngest sister, Biana, cry out.

Then,

SNAP

WOOSH

The sound of a trap set into motion.

She spins on her heels, allowing Siara to catch up with her.

Far behind them Biana is pulled into the air, tangled in a rope net dangling from the shellwood gates of the cavern.

"Biana!" Siara gasps and follows after Oriana who is quick to put to rest their competition in favor of assisting their sister caught like a beetle in a web.

"Hold on Bia!" Oriana finds where the lever was set and carefully pulls down the heavy rope.

"Do you fare well? Is anything broken?" Siara asks.

"No no I'm only a bit tangled up."

Upon being assured that her sister is unharmed Siara nearly bursts into laughter.

"Oh you find this humorous do you?" The captured one grumbles.

She wriggles out of the hunting trap after having been settled on the ground.

Oriana helps to unravel the rope.

"What fool would place a trap along this passage?"

Siara's laughter dies down at that query, and both sisters turn to her adorning knowing glares.

Siara, the newly appointed captain of the hunting team, had a special knack for building and placing traps.

"Really Siara? Here of all places? That is especially reckless of you." The eldest chastises her.

"You told me they were to be placed along the northwestern boarder!" Biana speaks.

"They are well designed though." There is a hint of pride in her tone.

Biana often assists Siara in perfecting her traps.

Truly there is very little that the sisters do not participate in equal with one another.

"I heard rumors of dirt carvers breaking in from a tunnel below here.

Besides, you were running off of the path."

"Barely!"

Siara sighs. "Very well. It may have been bad placement."

"Young lords!"

Two messengers from the court ahead sprint toward the sisters and halt to bow.

The sisters are swift to lend them their attention.

"Welcome back." The first greets them. "Your mother has asked that you meet with her outside the training grounds without hesitation."

Oriana nods. "We will meet with her straightway."

Any demand of their mother's is to be followed by the same reverence that any humble basket craftsman or shroom gatherer might offer having being called upon by a queen, or lord in this instance.

Not even the daughter, and future successor of the tribe's renown leader is exempt from such formalities.

She gestures for her sisters to follow.

"Allow us to take care of the supplies." The second messenger speaks.

"Very well."

~~~

"An upper claw attack, might prove advantagous in an instance where you had not been held at lance point, young one."

Timono glances up at his mother from where she had only a moment ago cornered him in their practice duel.

She chuckles as she rubs her chin where he had landed the strike a bit harder than he had meant to.

Then she settles her lance-nail on the ground and takes his tiny and cracked claws into her hands.

"If I was a beast or weaver you would have made for quite the feast by now."

She lifts him up.

Not yet of age to spar without the aid of his wings, the Mantis Lord's youngest child and only son, flies back from corner to center of the sparring ground.

The standard setting consists of even ground, two walls to grip, one lined with claws, lances, and scythes, and a cage wall to prevent the dishonorable act of fleeing mid-challenge.

This most unique training center in the champions court had been equipped with several settings. with the pull of a bone-crafted lever the floor could open and reveal a pit of spikes below. Shell-wood walls of varying lengths, and adorned in spikes of their own could be added to the ring. Other obstacles included swinging blades, captured sporgs, and a blackout setting.

That last of these designed to prepare scouts and warriors when traversing their enemie's kingdom below.

Timono had been hoping to practice in a more advanced setting.

His mother had promised him that he would, soon enough.

He wonders how soon...

Had he disapointed her with that last-second attack?

She doesn't appear to be so disappointed...

"Maybe we would have gone down together." He suggests.

"If you had been a beast, better that we both go down."

She considers his suggestion.

"Better you never fight alone." She replies. "So that you may rely on your companions to aid you when forced to surrender.

Hold out as long as possible until then. Refrain from reckless strikes."

He flies just before her and bows his head.

"Yes mother..."

He peaks up at her.

"But mother I was fighting alone."

She pats his little head.

"On the battlefield you won't be.

And you'll be practicing alongside your sisters soon enough."

"My sisters?"

He flutters up in excitement.

His triplet sisters being a few years his superior, did not often practice alongside him, despite his many attempts at convincing them to do so.

He has been training day and night, wishing he had not a moment to spare, in order to catch up with them.

With his mother, the lord and champion of the tribe overseeing almost all of his training it is not a surprise he has already come so far.

"Do you believe I could best them?"

"Perhaps. In time." She tells him.

"You still have much to learn.

Besting them aside,

I'm quite positive you will soon be ready to aid them in their training."

She leads her son to the gates.

"Your sisters have learned to rely on each other completely, and you rely on them.

They now must learn to place that same confidence in you."

"They say I'm too young."

She halts before exiting the grounds and he stops beside her.

"You are a bit younger, and still not as strong.

But you contain the spirit of a fighter the likes of which I've never seen Timono."

He cannot deter a beam of pride, upon receiving the accolade.

"And after you've come of age to pass the trials, and have proven your might, nothing more will come between the four of you."

He's dreamed of that day since the day his sisters had begun dreaming of their own victory in passing the trials of pride.

Now all of their dreams have come true.

He is next.

He'll catch up with them soon.

~~~

Oriana waits beyond the training ground gates, both of her sisters at her side.

Guards placed along the nearest walls.

Their mother had been training with their youngest sibling once again.

Outside of her regular duties she seemed to dedicate all of her time to that cause.

She had instructed each of her children, all of their lives, and had gifted them with the greatest among the warriors ranks to mentor them when she could not.

Oriana, as the first of the triplets to hatch, was to be honed into the perfect example of a mantis warrior. This task fell upon her mother and mentors within the very moment of her birth.

It has long since been tradition for the rulers firstborn daughter to be given advanced training in order to keep her family line upon the throne.

But her mother had three daughters, and believed each deserved the greatest that she could possibly give.

She believed that her son deserved the same.

No sons of the tribe have ever been granted such advanced training.

No sons had ever been expected to fulfill roles only the strongest could bear.

Not that little Timono was expected to bear any immeasurable responsibility...

Still Oriana took notice to how much value their mother had placed in the act of instructing him.

He is younger.

Smaller.

Less graceful.

He needs her guidance more...

"My daughters."

Having sent Timono to rest for the time being their mother greets her three eldest with a nod of acknowledgement and respect, before beckoning them to follow her.

The Lord of the mantis village stands tall and lean, she wields her lance-nail, on which the proverbs of her people have long been engraved,

And settled over her antennae the symbol of her leadership, the traditional headpiece that allows her a powerful horned silhouette.

This headpiece and the title of mantis lord have always come hand in hand.

To this day, beetles from the pale being's kingdom or beyond it are occasionally surprised to discover the leader of their tribe is female, the title of lord belonging to the male gender among them.

Within the mantis species that misconception would be impossible to make, the lords have always been female, from the first to last.

As the women have always carried the advantage in terms of strength, the determining factor of leadership.

It was the beetles themselves who had given the first of the lords their title.

Hundreds of years ago, the mantis that had lead their people to this territory had adorned a pair of beetle horns cut from the head of her mightiest opponent, and this symbol of victory had confused the common bug.

She, was mistaken for a he, and was renknown for being the lord of the mantises.

The title stuck.

For generations all those who have been bestowed the title have worn it most honorably.

"I have been taking note of your progress since completing the trials." Their mother speaks and Oriana is focused on nothing short of every word.

"Each of you has proven to be remarkable not only in the area of your strength and agility.

You cotian focus, wisdom and accountability." She proclaims with a sincerity that will impress Oriana all her life.

She stands taller.

Her mother is truly proud...

"You are most honorable representatives of our people." She affirms as they traverse the champions court, prompting all whom they pass by to pause and bow.

"Oriana, my firstborn, I have trained specifically for the task of one day claiming my throne."

Oriana gives a gentle nod, as her mother continues.

"Though after pondering the future of our people, and having witnessed the inner strength that each of you possess." She stops before the entry of the throne room.

"I have come to the conclusion that a change should be made concerning the rule of our tribe."

"A change?" Oriana questions, still she remains composed.

Their mother turns to face them.

"The three of you were born together,

I wish for you to rule together,

And alongside myself."

"Together?" Siara is the first to respond. "All of us?" She cannot stifle the shock in her tone.

"That has never been done before..."

"I have proposed that a mantis lord council be established." Their mother explains.

"A Quadrumvirate."

She turns and lifts her arm, gesturing for her daughters to enter into the throne room before them.

Oriana is the first to follow the unspoken command.

The room representing their tribes vigil, built before the gates of Deepnest now holds within not one, but four towering thrones, the three most newly constructed stand not quite to the length of the original, but are otherwise identical.

Each of the sisters gasps upon taking in the sight.

Oriana's gaze is fixed upon the thrones and cannot easily be swayed.

This is no idea or suggestion.

Her mother is entirely intent upon there being a council of lords.

Upon her daughters ruling at her side.

After all of this time, she truly believes they are ready...

All of them.

She turns to her sisters. Siara had taken Biana's hand.

She herself can hardly still her racing heart.

How must they feel?

It is the greatest possible honor,

And none could be more deserving of such.

Her sisters.

Always at her side...

Their mother comes in from behind them.

"When I retire from my position Oriana will take my place as head of the council." She continues.

"Still each of you will oversee the tribe as one.

Relying on each other's strengths."

Oriana shifts to face her mother and bows before her on one knee, Siara and Biana join their sister in expressing their gratitude.

"Thank you mother." Is all they can manage to say, as they attempt their very best to remain collected while most certainly feeling overwhelmed.

"You have earned this responsibility.

Our people will grow ever stronger under your combined rule." She glows with pride.

"And when your brother is of age and has completed his trials I wish for him to join you on the council."

Oriana glances upward.

Timono a mantis lord?

She is not sure he will ever be strong enough to pass the trials...

Though he still has a few years...

And the guidance of their mother.

Her faith in him appears to be unshakable.

Will that be enough?

Has she not yet told their brother of this enormous expectation?

It seems almost absurd...

In time though,

She reminds herself.

Their little brother may indeed prove himself, in time.

At least for now, she can rest assured that she has more than proven herself to her mother and people.

For so long, from the day of her coming into this world until this very moment, she has been preparing for this,

In the training grounds, hunting grounds, battlefield, and every path she had ever taken, learning from her people, from their written history, from her mother,

memorizing every move her mother had ever made,

And throughout all of this her sisters have been at her side.

It is an unexpected yet immeasurable relief that is all at once overtaking her, knowing that it will always be that way.

A pressure she had not known until now she is finally forced to comprehend as it instantly becomes lighter.

A weight being lifted.

This is all quite the opposite of what she had anticipated she might feel upon at last being bestowed the sacred title of mantis lord.

They shall rule together.

A quadrumvirate.

The mantis lords...

~~~~~~~~~~

~ 3 years later ~

The talons of the monster dig into the earth below and pull its body upward, it bears eight claws on each side of it, sixteen in total, until the front two are speared clean off.

The sharp appendages litter the cavern ground and the garpede roars, then thrusts itself at its attackers.

The sisters disperse in different directions as to confuse the beast who's mandibles snatch nothing aside from the dust now far below Biana's feet.

She and Siara cling to opposite walls and thrust their wind scythes downward to strike the enemy.

Two hits to the backside shell. It's impenetrable.

The underside is incredibly difficult to strike.

If the beast cannot be pulled over,

It must be bound.

Siara unhooks the end of a rope ravelled beneath her wings.

She keeps a manageable collection of weapons on her person.

Hunting rope and a set of daggers carved from mawlek teeth.

The enormous creature tumbles through the dim passage heading for the gate.

The sisters dart ahead of it.

"Catch!" Siara instructs the other as she throws one side of the rope.

Biana takes hold and pulls the end.

After their enemy has made collision the two leap from their positions, pulling the rope around its thrashing form, and tying it down.

The two have practiced this hunting technique before and move quickly though with precision.

Wild Garpedes have neared their territory on occasion, but this marks the first trained attack.

The master of the beast had been targeted first.

A spider who's corpse now claims place atop a mountain of discarded dirt carver shells.

The rest of the spider warriors involved in this sudden attack, had been driven back into the shadows by the lords and champions of the mantis tribe.

Now their final, and greatest foe is caught and crashes onto the stoney ground.

Biana ties together the ends of the rope, while Siara hurries to gather their warriors.

With their assistance they can pull the beast to its backside.

This attempt to break through the barrier utilizing the strength of the giants native to their land,

Siara is almost surprised the spider clan has never attempted it before.

Though, training a garpede could not have made for light work...

~~~

Pebbles scatter beside Oriana's feet, she carries herself with her usual practiced grace and swift pace, ducking below the low and crumbling walls of a newly formed tunnel that becomes darker the deeper it twists.

Of course one doesn't lead a scouting expedition without the essential tools.

She carries a hand crafted lantern filled with bioluminescent fungus, as to help her see.

This particular fungus populates a good portion of the beasts land, and thus makes for a less noticeable visual aid, than the more commonly used luma-flies.

A dark scouting cloak is draped over her shoulders and her lance nail rests over her back.

She had borrowed a tablet from the teams appointed cartographer, with the intention to map out this new tunnel on her trip back to the fungal core.

She follows the sounds of a caught and released weavers crawl.

The tunnel winds deeper than she would have preferred but not more than she had expected.

She holds to that faint skittering sound ahead of her like a thread,

Pulling her closer to the heart of the land of beasts, and further from her scouts.

She had never before taken such an action.

Trekking into these lands, alone.

For weeks now they had been receiving reports from the shrumal tribe.

As a lord of the waste, she had learned to decipher their messages.

Strange activity in the pit of beasts beneath their domain.

Scouts had been sent after the first report,

And the two disappeared shortly after.

Another party was sent, and similarly never returned.

That's five of their best, presumably lost to the spider clan, who had found some way through the fungal wastes boarder.

Lord Oriana organized her own team, and here she is.

She could have taken the weaver back as a captive for questioning.

But she knows better by now.

Besides the fact that their strange magic makes them particularly difficult prisoners,

The weavers would sooner die than betray their own.

She has seen it happen before.

Her people would do the same...

They have died, and worse,

Several of her people have endured the most dishonorable acts of torture, at the hands of these creatures, in the name of loyalty.

She can only hope the scouts she had lost, did not have to suffer in a similar way.

It must come to an end.

She had let their enemy escape in order to follow it, and uncover their new base.

For this plan to work, she must not get caught.

As to not get caught, she must venture alone.

The noise ahead quiets and Oriana comes to a halt, more abrupt than she had meant.

The slightest hitch of breath nearly gives her position away.

She hears the weaver turn and finds the nearest nook in the cavern to back into as softly as possible.

Then stills.

The enemy draws a bit nearer.

If it sees her she is prepared to attack.

She only hopes the potential commotion doesn't invite the attention of other enemies, that may be lurking not far.

She is too far into the deep...

She remains, holding her breath until she hears the weaver turn back at last.

It continues on its path.

Only then does she allow herself a hint of relief.

She must be cautious.

An entire tribe depends on her successful return.

She carries on.

In moments such as these, when the possibility of defeat, however faint, looms overhead,

Oriana is especially grateful for the creation of the mantis lord council.

The tribe does not depend on her alone.

Her sisters are currently overseeing a threat to the gates.

She has full confidence in them.

For three years they've led alongside her with capability and grace.

Their mother would be proud.

And Timono...

He has not been a mantis lord long.

He tends to be overly excited, overzealous even,

He can be terribly naive...

Still,

She must retain their mother's faith in him.

He will grow,

He will be a great leader himself one day.

He is proving that possible now.

While she leads the scouting expedition and their sisters hold off an attack at the gates,

He maintains his position in the throneroom, watching over the village without their aid.

A task he has been bestowed for the very first time today.

She can't allow herself to be overly concerned.

She must have faith in him.

~~~

"To unleash our power through transedence,

Offer a gift in turn.

Fail and face the mystics vengeance.

Implement and earn."

The youngest lord reads over the words of an ancient tablet he carries, one last time as he glides carefully down the walls of a chasm tucked deep within the fungal forest.

Far away from war rooms and throne rooms. Far beyond the hunting grounds,

Hidden in the very outskirts of the tribes territory.

Hidden so well and for so long, only few know the place exists at all.

He leaps onto a floor flooded in bone.

The dim little mound illuminated only by the light that the mantis had let in, upon breaking open a long locked entry way high above him now.

"Kiorin was right about everything else.

He must be right about this too..."

Timono tucks the old shaman stone tablet away and trades it for another record.

He looks it over again.

One of the oldest records of their tribe, carved on well-worn shellwood.

It keeps some detail of their ancestors arrival in this valley, and most notably, is the only written recollection of the being whom the shrumal people had worshipped centuries ago.

A shrumal 'god'

Or being that claimed to be.

The manties did not honor any of their weak-minded neighbors chosen divinities, with such titles.

This being had been their leader once, whom they believed was also their creator and craftsman of the fungal waste.

It was slain by the first of the mantis tribe.

A supposed diety, who had met its demise at his ancestors claws,

A mighty tale, once renowned throughout the tribe,

And exists now only in the form of whispered legend.

This last record of it has been kept secret by the lords of the tribe since the pale being's arrival.

After learning of the record for the first time himself, Timono had thought to use it, to empower their people.

Remind them of their strength,

And the fragility of those who bear the title of God...

His sisters forbid this idea be put into action.

They insisted it stay hidden.

But what use is anything hidden away for eternity?

If his people can not benefit from the old recount, perhaps the owner of this similarly forgotten mound might...

And he will gain something for their people in exchange.

"Yes. This will make for a fair trade." He decides.

A mantis lord is honest within their dealings.

Their honor remains, even when dealing with cast off magicians...

Even when said magicians, also happen to be,

long dead.

Bone masks crack and shatter under the weight of the mantis lord, who approaches the shaman's tombstone lying in the center of the mound.

Having been seperated from her strange kin, The stone was placed by a mantis.

Kiorin.

Timono hadn't been told this directly, but it wasn't difficult to put the pieces together.

Her grave was instantly recognizable as crafted by one of his own.

And Kiorin, the tribes eldest healer, widely considered village eccentric,

And a friend, almost mentor, to the young lord, had informed him of this shaman, whose power still lingers, even after death.

He suspects that he knew her in life.

Though unable to utilize spell casting himself,

(A practice that would likely have had him banished from the tribe even if it were possible.)

The old mantis held much knowledge, that could only have been obtained through a creature like this.

Timono kneels before the mark of the old shaman's departure.

He places the gift, (the gift Kiorin judged would please the shaman) beside her staff leaning against the stone.

Then he waits.

...

Now what?

He is still a moment, though he rarely stills for long.

"I've brought you what you asked for."

He speaks, as he gets back on his feet.

He speaks to the dead...

How foolish must he look?

At least no one is around to bestow him the title of fool.

The way they have Kiorin.

An elder of the tribe who should be respected.

He has seen what that healer can do.

He is unorthodox certainly but he is no fool.

He trusts his old friend.

This will work.

"Is there something else I must-"

Before he can finish the splintered masks beneath his feet begin rumbling.

As the ground quakes he backs away from the planted offering and leaps to the wall, he steadies himself there and watches as a burst a soul erupts from the center of the mound.

A flash of white floods the chasm and dispels an instant after.

The surge nearly knocks him down, but he is able to more carefully land himself after the sudden intrusion.

He looks back at the grave.

The record he had placed is there no more.

The flood of white had claimed and replaced it.

Now flickering above the sight of the trade, is his promised power,

Taking a most peculiar form.

The form of a void-black flame...

The tablet within his travel bag begins to glow, and he is swift to pull it back into his claws.

The inscription has changed.

"For your gift, the shaman fire.

An undeaftable flame.

Your foes will face the ancient ire,

That only you can tame."

~~~

Oriana slows and finally reaches a halt where the tangled routes have conjoined in the deep.

The walls open before her and she waits until the weaver whom she follows is far ahead, before turning to peer through the silk-lined opening.

With the entry clear, she slips in and glides along a crawlspace between the wall and rock remnants of the spiders sucsesful expedition to hollow out this cavern and expand.

Once concealed, she lifts her scouting lantern, careful as a carver before springing from the earth.

The hollow appears unremarkable at first glance,

Then she hears the falling of broken stone and the skittering of spindly legs crawling up to the roof of the cavern,

And she lifts her gaze,

There is something up there...

Something unusual.

She steps forward, every step she takes as if the ground beneath her might give way at the slightest intrusion,

From this new angle, she can decipher the scene more accurately.

An outpost. The grandest web crafted structure she had ever seen.

Suspended far above her,

And weavers.

Deephunters and weavers, fulfilling their tasks to guard.

There are so many...

The cavern roof is adorned in enemies.

She steps back, as debris continues to fall from the workings of the outpost overhead,

And shifts her lantern to face the sound of something hitting the ground just before her,

It did not sound like stone.

It cracked as it hit the floor...

She nearly gasps upon finding it.

She remains composed,

And shrinks back into the darkest corners of the cavern, away from shattered remnants of a captured mantis scout.

[angeltownn]

I need to keep reading loki comics but every time I read comics I remember why I don’t read comics which is that I kind of don’t. Like them. But I have to. To see my guy. Because he’s in them. But I don’t really like. It . I don’t know …

[trashytracktales]

GIRL DONT HOLD BACK

WRITE THE LANDO NORRIS HELMET SMUT

Finders keepers | LN⁴

🟢 summary ──── A moment of boredom turns into a game of control and restraint, with Lando pushing boundaries neither he nor his girlfriend expected on such a busy day.

🟢 pairing ──── Lando Norris x she/her reader

🟢 rating ──── explicit

🟢 warnings ──── 18+, mature/sexual content, descriptive language, smut, swearing, semi-public setting, soft!dom Lando, fingering & oral ─ (f)receiving, unprotected sex, overstimulation, messy finish, Lando low-key losing it.

🟢 word count ──── 3.3k

🟢 date ──── Mar. 4, 2025

🟢 a/n ──── This one has been HIGHLY requested after one of you guys sent in this ask, so I shall deliver. I hope you enjoy it as much as you imagined & can’t wait to hear your thoughts 🤍

Also, yes. This is the second one-shot of the day, because I ACCIDENTALLY posted this Charles Leclerc piece earlier. It’s very short and I was supposed to post it after this one OOPSIES get greedy & go check it out. Thank you, love you all 💋

THERE IS HARDLY enough room for more than two people in the driver’s room. A physio table is pushed against the wall, a couple of chairs sit tucked under a desk covered in notes, post-its and water bottles, and a row of plastic shelves is holding some race suits, a change of clothes and toiletries, and a spare helmet. There is a faint scent of fresh rubber and overall newness of the place in the air that blends with the smell of rain, and something so distinctly Lando, a mix of his cologne and fabric softener.

She has been waiting for hours now. Day two of testing in Bahrain is dragging, and even though she loves watching her boyfriend hit the track, the long hours spent doing nothing are starting to wear on her. She finished reading three books in two days, rewatched her favorite TV show, and scrolled through her feed until the app informed her that there were no new posts.

She sighs, running a hand over the edge of the desk before deciding to tidy up a little. Not that there’s much to clean, since McLaren keeps these rooms nearly spotless, but at least it gives her something to do. A few minutes later, the post-its are arranged on the wall by color, the documents are organized in chronological order, and the water bottles have found a new home, crammed under the table.

Out of curiosity, her fingers brush over one of Lando’s new helmets, freshly designed for the pre-season testing. It’s sleek, predominantly black with neon streaks and intricate models running along the sides. On impulse, she lifts it, feeling its surprising weight before slipping it over her head. The padding presses snugly against her ears, muffling the distant sounds of mechanics still at work in the garage.

She can’t help but feel a vague claustrophobia surrounding her, but the feeling isn’t necessarily bad. On the contrary, it gives her the impression of safety, even if it inhibits her other senses.

Grinning to herself, she pulls out her phone and angles the camera for a selfie. The reflection in the visor catches the glow of the overhead lights, giving her an futuristic look. She continues to snap a few more photos, adjusting the tilt of her head, until a blurred figure appears in the background of her screen.

“Having fun all by yourself?” Lando’s voice is amused yet he sounds tired, and before she can turn around, she feels his arms wrap around her waist from behind. He leans in, lips ghosting over her shoulder in a lazy kiss.

She huffs out a laugh, nudging at his arms, “I told you to stop sneaking up on me like that. You scared me.”

Lando chuckles, hands splaying over her stomach, thumbs brushing absentminded circles through the fabric of her shirt. “Sorry. Didn’t expect to catch you playing dress-up with my stuff.”

“Finders keepers,” she says in a singing voice, making Lando chuckle again.

“Yeah? You like it?”

“It looks cool,” she admits, “Therefore, it makes you look cool.”

Lando squeezes her a little tighter, “That mouth on you,” he teases.

The girl giggles, “Am I wrong? Also, you should’ve knocked, by the way,” she continues, reaching up to pull at the visor so she can actually see him.

“I should knock on a door that has my name on it?”

“Yeah, you do!” she sounds revolted, “Especially when you know there’s a lady waiting for you inside.”

Lando’s gaze darkens ever so slightly as he takes her in. She looks like a mirage under the dim light of the small room, her curls coming untamed from under his helmet and her eyes so bright and filled with love, looking back at him.

He nods with a boyish smile, “I’ll try to remember that next time.”

Maybe it’s just exhaustion making his eyes so heavy-lidded, the lingering adrenaline from a long day fading into something softer. But when she catches him staring, Lando has the same soft gaze he does whenever they sit on the couch and he’s about to doze off; he looks unintentionally hot like this, worn out but content.

“Alright, racer boy. Can we go now?” she asks, pressing back against him slightly.

Lando sighs, reluctant. “Not yet. I still have a couple of hours to go. Gotta go over the data with the engineers,” his fingers tighten briefly on her hips before he steps back. “You can head back to the hotel if you’re bored. I’ll get you a car.”

She pouts, “It’s not as fun without you.”

That wins her another chuckle, but this time, there’s something else in Lando’s expression. His gaze is shamelessly dragging over her with an intensity that makes her pulse stutter. It’s only now that he really registers that she’s wearing his helmet, his name and number stamped all over.

She’s worn his clothes before — his hoodies, his merch, his team’s attire — but this feels completely different. It makes his mouth dry and head spin, and he might be exhausted, but suddenly, swallowing the lump in his throat, Lando realizes he’s so turned on.

“Then stay,” he encourages her, “I have half an hour to decompress before going to debriefing. I’m sure we can find something fun to do.”

His suit suddenly feels tighter, heat creeping up the back of his neck. He swallows again, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he exhales slowly.

“Is that so?” she challanges him. “Something in mind already?”

He runs a hand through his curls before reaching for her again, “Maybe,” his voice is low, amused but laced with something indulgent. His fingers skim her waist, tracing the hem of her shirt as he tugs her closer. “You’re pretty inspiring.”

She tilts her head slightly, the visor still lifted so he can see the teasing glint in her eyes. “Well, that’s new,” she laughs. “But I was just messing around.”

Lando hums, unconvinced. “Sure you were.”

She moves to take the helmet off, but his hand catches hers mid-motion.

“No, leave it,” says Lando, thumb grazing over her knuckles. His breath is warm when he leans in, his next words spoken directly against its glossy material. “You have no idea how hot you look right now.”

A shiver rolls down her spine, and it quickly goes south, right between her legs. It makes Lando grin subtly, then he reaches for the visor, pulling it down with a definitive, loud click. At that, her world narrows in an instant, and the limited view somehow makes every touch and every breath between them more intense.

Lando walks her back until she’s perched on the edge of the physio table, her pulse hammering as she watches him, excited, but mostly curious about his plans. They have thirty minutes, so his movements aren’t rushed in any way. Quite the opposite. They’re almost lazy, but there’s something precise about the way he reaches for the zipper of his race suit.

He rolls his shoulders, loosening up, then adjusts the height of the table so that when he sinks to his knees in front of her, she’s exactly where he wants her to be. Patiently, his fingers trail up her legs, making slow work of the button on her jeans. There’s no hurry in the way he peels them down, taking her underwear with them in one go, but the moment he gets rid of them, there’s a shift in his demeanor.

Lando exhales sharply, his large hands splaying over her thighs as he looks at her, half-lust and half-serious. “You gotta keep quiet, baby,” he says, a hint of mischief curling around his words. “These walls aren’t real, and anyone passing by the door can hear us blink.”

There was a little giggle stuck in her throat, but now she barely has time to react before his fingers part her, his touch light at first, just exploring while he preps her with the dexterity of a man who did it countless of times before.

Her breath catches at the first slow stroke, her thighs tensing as he traces circles where she’s most sensitive. The first sound she makes is barely a whisper of a whimper, that Lando trained his ears to hear, since is muffled inside the helmet.

He huffs out a quiet laugh, “Is that my cue?”

Before she can answer, Lando leans in.

Initially, his mouth is warm and merciful. He licks into her with a sort of tamed hunger that’s out of his character, savoring every little shift of her hips, every shudder she tries to suppress. Even so, it sends her a clear message: even though his energy is low from the long day, his need to taste her is anything but.

The world outside their room hums with noise — faint conversations, the occasional shuffle of footsteps, the distant whir of power tools in the garage. But all she can focus on is the way he’s lapping at her clit, the slick sound of it embarrassingly loud in the small space, her own whimpers barely contained behind the visor.

Lando chuckles against her, the vibration making her head tilt back slightly; the weight of the helmet forces her to let her head fall against the wall, which positions her even better in front of him.

“Gonna have to be quieter than that,” he teases, slipping his fingers between her folds, pressing just enough to make her squirm.

She barely manages to shake her head, her breath ragged. The visor fogs up as a result, which forces her to close her eyes, since her sense of sight is officially useless.

Lando looks up proudly, fingers pushing deeper as he settles in, more than happy to test her limits. He knows how to curl them just right, the wet sounds obscene in the stillness of the room.

His free hand grips her thigh like he’s starved, holding her open for him, his name echoing softly inside the helmet — muted yet desperate. He feels the way she gets even more aroused with each passing second, coating his fingers with every slick stroke, her body responding to him exactly as it does every single time he takes over.

Startled with new sensations experienced in the dark, she brings a shaky hand to her mouth, trying to stifle the moans threatening to spill out, only to realize, all over again, that she can’t. A frustrated whimper escapes instead, the same hand scrambling for something to support herself. Finally, her fingers clutch at the edge of the table, but it’s useless; her hips are already rolling against Lando, chasing more.

“Mhm,” he hums, his voice shallow. “Getting so wet for me, should’ve done this ages ago. Why didn’t we?”

She gasps, trembling on the edge and so ready to agree with him, but then Lando stops, and the loss of his fingers is almost unbearable. Before she can think, a loud, frustrated moan slips past her lips, making him laugh at her impatience.

She’s too gone now, drunk on the feeling, and the weight of the helmet is definitely not helping. Not when she’s melting under his touch, making it hard to move, and pretty much do anything but stay there, waiting. Aching for more.

Lando watches her for a moment, dark-eyed and smirking, already hard just from seeing her like this, her body so pliant and responsive under his hands. He pulls himself out with one hand, stroking lightly, and with the other, he grips the edge of the helmet, forcing her to look at him.

“Alright, baby, I’m serious. No more of that, okay?” asks Lando. “If someone hears us, it’s gonna be bad. And we don’t want that, do we?” he continues, watching her gathering all her strength only to nod slightly. “That’s right. The second I hear you moan, I’ll have to stop.”

Even Lando knows it’s a lie, but he had to say it, just in case.

She swallows, nodding again as best as she can, her pulse a frantic rhythm against his fingers when he drags his hands down her sides, holding her still. Then, with a precise snap of his hips, he buries himself inside her, stealing the breath from her lungs.

The force of it sends a shudder through the physio table, the legs creaking against the floor. She barely has time to adjust before he thrusts again, deeper this time, pressing her body into the table like he’s trying to mold her into it. Her thighs tighten around his waist, heels digging into the small of his back, desperate to keep him there, to keep him buried inside her where she needs him most, the weight of him, the pressure and the friction maddening.

Lando swallows a moan, but some of it manages to slip past gritted teeth, “Fuck, you look—” he cuts himself off, sucking in a sharp breath. He doesn’t even have words for it. The way she feels around him and the heat of her pulling him back in every time he dares to pull away, it’s enough to make his mind go blank.

The table shifts again, inching against the floor with every thrust. She grips at the suit still clinging to his shoulders, trying to hold onto something, but there’s no escape from the way he’s driving into her, every drag of his cock making her shake beneath him.

“Lando…”

He knows. He feels it too. The way they’re teetering on the edge of something dangerously intoxicating, and the way they’re doing that together.

His hands tighten on her, his next thrust shoving the table another inch to the side. “Shit,” he breathes, voice husky with restraint. “Hold on, love. A little more, yeah?” He grips the edges of the table and snaps his hips forward again, watching the way her body reacts to him. “Fucking hell,” he spits, eyes dark as he watches her fall apart under him, little by little. “Keep me in, baby. Like that.”

She clings to him without hesitation, like she was made for this, for him. He’s marking her and he knows it, his fingers moving back to her waist, digging into her soft flesh. Lando’s name is all over her, in ways that only he can see, in places only he gets to touch. And the way she lets him, makes his head spin.

In the haze of it all, a sudden, foreign thought crashes into him like a gut-punch: her name next to his. It’s ridiculous, completely out of place in a moment like this, but it paralyzes him for a second. Until his body reacts on its own, fire spreading through his veins. He leans forward, caging her in, his thrusts becoming sharper, more desperate. His forehead presses against the cool surface of the helmet for just a moment, grounding himself, before he pulls back and looks at her.

He can barely see her eyes, wide and glazed over, but it’s enough. His fingers tighten on her hips as he slams back into her, dragging her flush against him, letting her feel every inch of his length. The sharp noise that the table makes underneath them is lost in the delicious sounds of their bodies moving together, of their heavy breathing, of the desperate way she silently whimpers his name like she wants to keep it on her tongue forever.

He’s spiraling, drowning in the heat of her, in the thought that she lets him take her like this, lets him ruin her for anyone else.

Yet somehow, it’s still not enough.

Her hands fly up instinctively, grasping at the helmet, knuckles turning white as she tries to steady herself against the overwhelming feeling of him.

Outside the room, voices pass by again, too close, and Lando clenches his jaw, fighting his own demons as he’s forcing himself to stay quiet.

Luckily, she’s close. He can feel it in the way she tightens around him, the way her body shakes as she tries her hardest to stay silent. Inside the helmet though, her breathing is shallow, small cries coming out of her parted lips.

“Come on, pretty girl,” says Lando in a demanding yet soft tone. One of his hands clamps around her neck, guiding her into each thrust. “Give it to me. Let me feel you.”

Lando doesn’t slow down one bit, rolling his hips in a way that he knows it drives her wild. As a result, her body tenses, trembling as pleasure overtakes her. A choked gasp echoes inside the helmet, and Lando smirks, watching her unravel. He’s so utterly captivated by the way her walls tighten around him and the way her thighs quiver in his hands, as if she can crumble if he’s won’t be careful. It’s almost too much for him, but Lando manages to pull out just in time, watching as her release coats his throbbing length, as she shudders through the aftershocks.

“Yeah,” he breaths, running a hand up and down her thigh. “Such a good girl, baby. Let it all out.”

She slumps back against the table, panting inside the helmet, her body overly sensitive. Keeping his eyes on her, Lando gives himself a few slow strokes, exhaling hard through his nose; he’s so close it’s painful.

“You okay?” he asks her, his voice as hoarse as if he screamed for hours at a concert.

Slowly coming back to her senses, she exhales sharply, “I’m good,” she manages and, before she gets the chance to ask him the same question, Lando slaps her thigh in order to catch her attention.

“Down on your knees, then. Come on,” he rasps, guiding the girl to her knees, his patience wearing out quickly, as he tilts her chin up with two fingers.

The glow of the light catches on the sleek surface of the helmet, and something about it — about her like this, still catching her breath, still his — makes his stomach flip.

“God, look at you,” he breathes, his fingers tracing the edge of the visor as he grips the helmet gently. “Obedient little thing.”

She doesn’t speak — can’t, really — just watches him through the darkened shield, completely at his mercy.

Lando’s breathing stutters as he pumps himself faster, the tension coiling tight in his core. “Gonna make a mess of you, yeah?” he asks, mostly rhetorically. “Right there on my—”

He barely manages a breath before the orgasm crashes into him, blinding and all-consuming. His grip tightens, a sharp groan breaking free as heat pulses through him, spilling in thick streaks across the dark visor. Each of his breath is shaky, his mind fogged with pleasure and a sudden possessiveness.

She stays still, letting him ruin the helmet just like he ruined her, and the sight leaves him dizzy.

His fingers twitch as he pushes sweat-damp curls from his forehead, exhaling a laugh, wrecked and breathless. The sound of it fills the space, mixing with the muffled hum of voices just beyond the walls. But all Lando can hear is the quiet, pleased sigh that leaves her lips, her fingers scratching against her thighs, as if she wants to touch him, as if she wants to taste him.

His stomach clenches at the thought, the aftershocks leaving him lightheaded, wrecked in a way he’s never felt before. He exhales sharply, looking down at her, at his helmet, at what he’s done.

Then, Lando’s fingers are flexing against her head before he finally loosens his grip, running a slow thumb over the mess he’s made.

“Hell,” he pants, still catching his breath. Then, softer, with a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, “Might have to fuck you like this more often.”

She exhales a quiet, amused breath, tilting her head slightly. “Guess that means I’m actually keeping it.”

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ MASTERLIST . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Thank you for reading!

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© trashy track tales, 2025

[99pansy]

ss/mayo blogspot lore + frerard theory

hi I'm about to drop some insane lore that I don't think a lot of mcr fans/frerard theorists know about. this isn't discussed often so I figured I should write about it here before all the evidence is lost to time.

this is probably gonna be a long one so buckle in! i have gathered as much evidence here as possible but there's no way to be certain about anything. i'm trying to maintain as much journalistic integrity as i can throughout this post (also trying super hard not to insert my opinion too much) because i think a lot of this speaks for itself.

so i have a pretty significant frerard theory but i have to give a lot of backstory and documentation for it to fully make sense. this will not be in chronological order (to best suit the narrative) but i hope it makes sense

many people know about frank's F.T. Willz endeavors which have been proven as him in recent years. however, "ss" or "shitsubou shita" was another blog he had before this which is not widely known

around 2007, there was a major theory in the fandom that gerard and frank were running secret blogspot accounts where they'd post journals, poetry, etc. frank's account was iamthemodernprometheus.blogspot.com and gerard's supposed account was its-mayonaise.blogspot.com. both accounts are still up, though i'm not sure if any posts have since been deleted. this probably sounds crazy so i'll explain everything!

evidence for frank as SS/shitsubou-shita/iamthemodernprometheus

i strongly believe this was frank's personal blog, but you can come to your own conclusions based on this info

frank's supposed original blogspot handle was "shitsubou-shita." once fans realized this was his account, he deleted it pretty much immediately. you can read some fan discussion about the fall out from this in a comment thread here. this comment thread will be linked a few times in this post because most of the screenshots on this post originate from there.

apparently *frank* was posting some very personal thoughts/feelings on this blog that he did not want to be discovered. i'll go over some of the deleted posts in a minute, but first i need to give more a little more context.

at the same time the blog is found, someone comments "your fired" on a recent post. apparently some fans thought the comment looked strangely out of place, and it was one of the last comments left before the account's deletion, on one of the final posts made.

this will be relevant later on, and we'll get into the account's posts soon.

my theory is that someone on the "inside" could have found his personal blog and tried spooking him, which could have been the final straw for him. or, the account being deleted could be completely unrelated to the weird comment. all of this can be found here (same link i posted previously)

months after deleting their blog, shitsubou shita begins posting under a new url "iamthemodernprometheus" (but still under the pen name "shitsubou shita" or "ss" as fans called him)

in his new blog, and similarly to F.T. Willz years later, he still leaves plenty of crumbs for fans to figure out it's him. screenshot sources are below

latin heading: his page had a latin heading that when translated, reads "keep the faith"

bio on blogspot: "industry - chemicals", and "you dont stop playing cos you get old…you get old cos you stop playing" both sound suspiciously personal to frank

his url choice: "the modern prometheus" is the full title of mary shelley's frankenstein. frankenstein is a character that frank has always deeply resonated with due to his namesake, love of horror, and being born on halloween

spelling of wierd: SS and frank both spell "weird" as "wierd"

i think he enjoyed the mystery of having a secret online persona, which eventually led to the creation of F.T. Willz in 2008. it seems like wanted to leave just enough evidence for people to suspect it was him, but not enough to prove it.

here are some snippets of 2007 era discourse about the identity of "ss" and their deleted blog. you can find all of these comments and more context here. this was around the time gerard got married and fans felt like the dynamic on stage was different, and they were concerned about the future of the band. it's a LOT to go over so i would advise reading the comments if you want more perspective

on the next page, an anonymous comment is posted which fans immediately begin to speculate is SS (frank). again, if you click the link you can get way more context than i'm able to provide here.

this insinuates that SS frequented the comments on mayo's blog, which i don't think he would have done without believing/knowing mayo is gerard

there was a lot discussed in this thread including pretty solid evidence that frank/ss wrote the ancient and historic "eliza post"

if you are not aware of the eliza cuts drama, that's a totally different and equally as insane rabbit hole you'll have to research on your own

tldr; she is gerard's mentally unstable ex-fiance who he was engaged to very shortly before lindsey

gerard and eliza got engaged on may 22, 2007 (the last show of the black parade tour) according to this reddit comment.

the "eliza post" went up on june 4, 2007. here is the post in its entirety:

"Hi I felt I had to write to you guys to allay some of your fears regarding the rumours and speculation surrounding Gerard and Eliza and the future of the band. This is the only time I will ever post. I will not be able to respond to your comments or enter into discussion or debate on what I'm about to say. We are aware that this is one of the most popular message boards for MCR fans and we know you guys are the most dedicated and loyal fans in the world. It saddens me to see such division amongst the fans over one woman. If it's any consolation, you guys are not the only ones affected. She is merely tolerated by both band and crew. Believe me, nothing anyone can say will change his mind. She's been the cause of numerous conflicts and while we dont have to like it, we have to accept it, at least for the forseeable future. From day one this woman has had a hidden agenda - her manipulation knows no bounds. Some of you may find this difficult to believe but I assure you I have personally witnessed the two sides of this woman. Her so-called 'good deeds' are nothing more than PR exercises for his benefit. But he does not see what goes on behind closed doors. We have tried to draw his attention to her blatant self-promotion and diva demands. This is a prime example of love being blind. His feelings for her do run very deep. Her feelings for him, however, are questionable at best. Many people believe, including myself, that he is being used as nothing more than a stepping stone. It's disheartening to see someone you care about and have worked with for a very long time change as a person, becoming more detached and causing the group dynamic to change as a result. There have been conflicts and differences of opinions and compromises have had to be made She does not accompany the band on the European legs of the tour. Since being on this current European leg, he seems much happier which suggest she doesnt make him as happy as he thinks. Despite being asked more than once to remain discreet, she blatantly disregards his wish to keep his personal life private by continually fuelling the internet hype. The band has always been about the music and the fans. This will not change. MCR have never endorsed any type of clique as it encourages and promotes the kind of high school mentality that MCR have always fought against. Your continued support is appreciated and rest assured this woman will have no adverse affect on the band and the music. For obvious reasons I am remaining anonymous. Eliza, we know you trawl these message boards and you probably know who I am - but I'd like to see you try and prove it!!!"

it's clear that whoever wrote this had a very strong distaste for eliza and was deeply troubled by the idea of gerard marrying her. based on the language used and style of writing, i strongly believe frank wrote this post. i'll be circling back to this in a minute, because i have a little more to go over.

for more evidence that SS is frank, we can reference this reddit comment made just 9 months ago by someone heavily involved in the blogspot community at the time, kapunua. their username on this post is "ReallyKapu."

if you read through the comment links I provided earlier, you may see their name pop up. they are also mentioned by name on the "iamthemodernprometheus" blog. if you also search "kapunua mcr" on google, you can verify their involvement in the blogspot community at the time.

kapunua is also mentioned in its-mayonaise's post here (no screenshot provided for this one, its just a small mention)

there's also a screenshot of a different comment kapunua made about 9 years ago with similar information. i found the screenshot here.

evidence that "mayo" is gerard

as mentioned in the post above, mayo often used british english syntax in his posts. he also posted about some pretty juicy stuff including a blowjob poem (you can seek that out yourself)

using british english isn't out of the ordinary for gerard. he often used an accent on stage during this time. moreover, he is a writer who has written multiple characters with this type of accent, showing he has a certain appeciation for it. i think his persona for the "mayo" account could been a sort of character he put on to disguise his idenity.

if you decide to view mayo's blog, you'll see each post has nothing but comments from mcr fans exclusively. i find it very interesting that the writer of its-mayonaise never bothered to make a post saying "hey, btw, i'm not gerard" in the 4 years this blog was run for

we have somewhat less definitive evidence that gerard is mayo. however, it is clear that at the very least, they had to have been someone involved with MCR or their crew at the time.

mayo makes a post alluding to their identity here, which you can find in the first screenshot below. this section sounds a lot like something gerard would write:

"I have been asked to reveal myself to you. You all know me. I am whoever you want me to be, I am an artist, a poet, a singer, a motherfucker, and a contradiction, a mouthpiece, a friend, and an enemy, a brother, an informant, a whipping boy, a basket case, a queen, and a criminal...(credit to John Hughes.)"

there are THOUSANDS of comments, many of which speculate the identity of mayo on each of his blogspot posts. you should definitely do your own detective work and see what you think, because there is far too much info to go through here.

a frerard theory

as i previously mentioned, frank had deleted his original blog for shitsubou-shita in late september. however, prior to this, he made and then deleted some particularly turbulent and questionable posts

for context, the frerard fight happened on august 22, 2007, and gerard and lindsey got married on september 3, 2007 (just four months after gerard was engaged to eliza)

gerard and lindsey are married on the last night of the projekt revolution tour.

mcr takes a break for one month after this, where we can probably safely assume that freshly-married gerard and frank did not plan on seeing one another.

i think this was very troubling for frank for many different reasons. gerard had just freed himself of the eliza situation and here he was making the same mistake again. he was on the verge of losing his dearest friend yet again, and i believe that despite his best efforts, he could not get through to gerard.

obviously, gerard and lindsey are still married to this day. however, many fans might be aware of what happened between her and mikey. there's also a lot of other questionable information about lindsey circling the web, but that's a different story for another time.

weeks later, similarly to the eliza situation, shitsubou-shita makes and deletes the following posts on his original blog (this was prior to the creation of iamthemodernprometheus):

Friday, September 21, 2007 Abandon hope, all who enter here... What the fuck happened? Why didn't I see this coming? I made a point to keep out of it this time, but at what cost? I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place, it's a lose/lose situation. I've always been honest with you, shouldn't that work both ways? What's with the double standards? People are starting to notice. I'm not talking about kids, I'm talking about people in their mid 20's and 30's. People with life experience who can see the cracks starting to show. What am I supposed to say? I just dont have the answers. How can I reassure them when I need reassurance myself?

he says "i made a point to keep out of it this time" which seems like a reference to the situation with eliza i mentioned previously. he alludes to the idea that fans are beginning to notice the band's dynamic is not the same anymore. this was specifically around the time when "frerard" moments came to a pretty abrupt end.

he says "i've always been honest with you, shouldn't that work both ways?" which can be interpreted in a few different ways. he may feel deceived due to his best friend's sudden marriage. however, the intensity of the language used in this post shows he probably had some very intense feelings toward the situation.

it seems like the writer was having a considerably difficult time coping with these feelings. a day later, this post is made:

Saturday, September 22, 2007 Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Bullshit. I've always been a smart ass, even as a child, although my mom would prefer to use the term precocious. I've always had trouble keeping my mouth shut, I'm an open book, completely ingenuous - secrecy and circumvention are not my style. But then I've never experienced extreme paranoia. So I'm writing this blog. I know you will never read it, I wouldn't want you to. Not everything is about you. This blog is for ME, a perverse catharsis, I need this right now to preserve the small amount of sanity I have left. A blog fuelled by disappointment, frustration, confusion and dejection. I am not laying the blame at your door. The burden of blame is mine. I didn't speak up soon enough. I didn't want to rock the boat, I've been there before. I didn't want to fight or endure days of being given the silent treatment. Its not fair on the others. Why do you always make everyone feel like they have to take sides? If I had been a better friend, I would have stepped in regardless of the consequences. I acted selfishly because I didn't want to lose you, but ironically, I may have lost you anyway. I meant every word I said at the diner and although I didnt show it, your smirk and glib response hurt me more than you will ever know. I don't know who you are anymore. I cant seem to find the right words. Nothing I say seems to reach you. You are wrong. I DO care. I love you. I refuse to give up on you and I refuse to let you push me away. I am going to fight for our friendship, you aren't the only one with a stubborn streak. We are in this together, for the long haul, I promise. I want my friend back. I miss him.

it seems like whatever the writer is feeling toward the subject of this post goes beyond the boundaries of a typical friendship. the final paragraph says everything we need to know.

we can assume that based on this post's mention of meeting a diner, that frank and gerard likely met up during their month-long break to talk about the way things went down

lastly, i know there's at least one interview floating or blog post around where frank says he was a difficult teen and a pain in the ass as a kid, but i can't find it right now. if anyone has the link to that i would love to add it here, because i remember it sounding pretty similar to that first paragraph.

Sunday, September 23, 2007 Is the pen really mightier than the sword? And so you continue to blog, as do I. The difference is, I am not hurting anyone. I'm just trying to gain some perspective while you are publicly making a fool of yourself. Your words are hungrily devoured and dissected by the masses, you seem to revel in the chaos and controversy. At the moment your identity is pure speculation, but have you thought about the consequences if anyone was able to prove your identity? Not just for you, but for all of us? Have you lost your mind? How can you be so selfish? You have become a self obsessed megalomaniac. I know what I get out of writing my blogs - but what do you get out of writing yours? Do you even bother to read the comments? Some of those comments break my heart. These aren't just nameless, faceless strangers, these are real people with real lives and real feelings. These are the people that allowed us to bring our music into their lives. These are the people that we see on tour, the people that wait outside for hours in the cold and rain just to meet us, the people that write us letters and make us scrapbooks, the people who care enough to bake us cookies and brownies, the people that send us birthday cards and bizarre, crazy ass gifts, the people that have given us their love and support, the people that cheer us on, the people that made us. Why are you so hellbent on destroying not only yourself, but everyone who loves you? You wanna see how far down I can sink? Your mom called last night - and I lied to her. After everything she has done for us, I lied to her. How do you think that made me feel? Do you even care?

this last post, for me, solidifies the identities behind each blog. it is so clear through the details in this post. to me, it seems like frank was hurting so bad, and in such a vulnerable place, that he completely let his guard down and made this post.

the mcr lyric included "You wanna see how far down I can sink?" is undoubtedly mind-boggling and speaks volumes to how carelessly obvious frank was (maybe intentionally?) willing to be

there's so much to unpack in this post and i honestly can't even begin to wrap my head around it. i would love to hear anyone's opinion!

later in the post, it seems clear that he is referencing the iam-mayonaise blog and gerard's seemingly wreckless posting. but mostly, i think he was lashing out due to pain of betrayal after losing the closest person to him and someone he deeply loves not once, but twice.

again, it's hard to believe how obvious he was being here, but i really think it was a result of the pain/suffering he felt

if you scroll back up to the first screenshot of this post, you can circle back around to when he removed his entire profile after making this final post, eventually rebranding to "iamthemodernprometheus"

the its-mayonaise account makes this post on september 30, seemingly as a response. the title could apply to frank, who as we all know, was gerard's best friend and right-hand man. the rest of this post can be interpreted in many different ways, so you can make whatever you want out of it:

however, the last paragraph does give me pause... i would love to see/create a full analysis of this post, but i'm trying to stick to facts here so you can form your own judgement

after gerard's wedding and mcr's month long break, they play two shows in mexico (oct 4 & 7, 2007) and then the hoboken show takes place, where frank yells "lie to me" during i'm not okay and seems very low energy and unlike himself

i believe things gradually improved between them after this point, but i'm not sure if their connection was ever completely the same.

conclusion/my opinion

coupled with all of the other available evidence about gerard/frank's tumultuous friendship/relationship/situationship, i think this information strongly alludes to the idea that at the very least, frank had some very intense feelings for gerard that were not fully reciprocated. i would love to hear what anyone else's opinion is on this topic, because it definitely isn't discussed often

i think it's completely heartbreaking (especially with everything else we know) but i do think their incredible connection is a massive contributing factor to mcr's legacy

if you notice any inconsistencies in this post or have any questions, please send me a message! i want to keep this as consistent, comprehensible, and well-sourced as i can!

lastly please follow me if you liked this! i spent months researching and compiling sources for this post and i would so appreciate it <3

[eproctomaniac]

So this is turning out WAY more romantic and self indulgent than I planned. Lmk what you think cause im 😳 blushing at myself rn.

This level of daydreaming is normal and healthy, right?

Been sitting on some thoughts about a gassy Alex, so I thought id finally share them. This isnt a coherent plot or anything, just my imagination going in roughly chronological order.

Warning! Contains fictional fart imagines about a real person! Dont like? Look away!

Alex is definitely your stereotypical guy when it comes to fart humor. He thinks theyre hilarious, if a bit crass. The key part here being that hes actually *incredibly* shy about his own farts. He hides just how gassy he is unless hes alone, or already been cutting loose with some friendly encouragement.

This is actually the exact scenario in which you first witness his secret gassy talents. A party of some kind, long after 95 percent of the attendees left, leaving only you, him, his closest bros, and maybe their dates. He wouldnt have started the fart jokes, one of the more shameless friends would have gotten everyone else going. After a few minutes of them joking and laughing and pranking eachother ("Fire in the hole!", "Pull my finger!", "Bet you cant do better than this!"), probably some light teasing of him as well trying to convince him to participate, Alex would finally blow the competition away. Literally. His shows of gastrointestinal prowess would be loud, boisterous, and effortless as he sent his friends and the rest of the remnants of the party into hysterics.

Stories would start to flow from his friends of just how insane his farts were all his life. Shocking to all who were there to listen. The time he warded off a bully with nothing but a well timed rip. The time he made his friend's dog yelp and hide for the rest of the birthday party one year. The time he covertly delayed a test in school by making the classroom so noxious the teacher had to go home for the day, giving everyone an extension.

All these stories known only to him and his bestest few friends. And now their dates. And now you. The other dates were doing the typical "Ew!" and "Gross!" while laughing along. You of course, were overjoyed and incredibly aroused that this hunk of a man you met a week ago had such gassy talent hidden away. (Who knew he could make music from both ends?)

The final story doesnt finish however, though only you notice why and how, since youre the only one actually listening and not losing their mind at the simple mention of a fart.

One of his friends starts a new story between fits of laughter, somethign along the lines of: "And-and then.... *laughter* there was this one sleepover where Zane and - *more laughter* Zane and I had the bright idea to try this fucken..... trick we saw on the inter-". Your ears perk up because you know exactly what hes talking about, and so does Alex. You watch as, with a swiftness you havent seen from him before, Alex plants his jeans clad ass directly in the face of his friend, cutting his story off short, and rips the gnarliest most boisterous fart of the night directly in his poor friends face. Everyone is sent into an uproar of laughter once again as Alex and his friend struggle for dominance on the floor, now wrestling like idiots. Alex wins, of course, not without the help of his gym routine and a few more well timed guffs.

Nobody else is privy to what exactly just happened. They dont really care, of course. Alex does however. You can tell because his face is shades of red you didnt think possible to achieve by human skin. You can tell that he knows that you know. He doesnt meet your gaze for the rest of the night, wich admittedly doesn't last long. His friends are out of gas for their little party trick (though Alex isn't, not that he'd admit that). Everyone goes home, and you and your date approach his car together.

(ignore that this isnt at night)

Like a gentleman, he lets you in the car first. He's still blushing. You sit in the passengers side seat alone for a touch longer than youd expect to be normal, though you cant see what could have held him up. He opens the car door and as hes sitting down, a loud, ripping, and wet sound comes out of his ass as he sits.

"Was saving that for the grand finale, but everyone left before we got there. Looks like you get a front row seat." he says, giggling and avoiding eye contact. You giggle along, youre not suddenly above thinking farts are funny just because you also get off to them, though your gaze never leaves him. He gets redder yet and sits in silence for a while.

"I know its only been like a week, so sorry if" he gestures to the house and then to himself "all that was too much. Just got caught in the moment." his smile has faded as you can see the defensive self conciousness take hold of his face.

"Oh not at all." you say to him, never breaking your eye contact or your slight, coy smile. "In fact nothing you did tonight turned me off from you at all."

His face eases, which makes you smile more. You both notice the smell from his last fart for the first time, though only he reacts to it with a laugh, fanning the air, and a slight "Sorry about that."

You go in for the kill. "It actually had the exact opposite effect, I would say." This makes him break out of his embarrasment and helps him make eye extended eye contact with you for the first time in two hours. You see his smile half fade into a look of confusion, as he considers your words. You decide not to spell it out for him yet. He looks you up and down.

He notices how youre leaning towards him over the middle console of his car. He notices how youre still smiling at him like you have been for two hours. He notices how you *didnt* react to the smell he just released into the car not 3 minutes ago. His smile never fades, but you watch as he starts to put the pieces together in his head. You dont think hes completely got a grasp of just how ravenous you can be, but does seem to get that you arent like most people when it comes to farts. His face shows no signs of disgust or disapproval.

It would be him who breaks the trance of being lost in each others eyes. He tests his theory on you with another fart into his car seat. Closing one eye to push harder. This one is smaller, like someone doing a tiny raspberry with their lips. (though you are keenly aware of which pair of lips this one came from). Neither of you react openly to it, confirming his theory. He leans in and kisses you, sweet and tenderly with his hand on your chin. (lets say this is your first?) The kiss goes as long as you both want it to, because it feels right, like butterflies in your stomach, like you both are gonna be seeing much more of each other.

"Lets get you home." he says, sweetly, smiling bigger than youve seen all night.

~~~~~~~~~~

After a while, you two would have been on a few more dates. Very romantic though not too extravagent. Local diners he has childhood memories of, seeing movies that would be dealbreakers for both of you (if he doesnt like rocky horror, throw him out). It's been roughly 2 months of seeing eachother since the party, and no you havent had sex yet (hes a good christian boy, remember?). Neither have there been anymore gassy displays of his talent, outside of the occasional slip up that he jokingly denys, or fart during his sleep after hes passed out during the 20th episode of Hotel Hell (INSANE show btw).

This changes, however, the night he takes you to a bowling alley.

An all night bowling alley with an arcade and a skating ring. Not prohibitively expensive either, which makes how long it took you two to go here a crime, honestly. A triple date with two of his friends you met at The Party™, though they wouldnt be participating in the gassy antics that would ensue.

Skating was first, though you both quickly realized you are shit at skating, making it a hilarious but short lived endeavor. Thankfully no injuries, other than to your ego. You six decide to start bowling. Just enough people to fill an aisle, and just enough people to avoid needing to stand up and sit down so close together to make you want to die. The night was going perfectly and it had barely even started.

Not to mention, Alex was looking *particularly* nice in that outfit. Short sleeves show off his big arms and small tattoos. He had mentioned wanting to crop it himself since he had been growing more comfortable in shorter shirts. You find yourself wishing he had before tonight. Those jeans he was wearing, though, were what was really driving you crazy. You had never seen a pair fit someone *just so perfectly* before, though it wasnt crazy enough to be drawing the attention of everyone in the establishment. It was a perfection that only someone with a habit of oggling at his behind would notice and appreciate. You find yourself wishing his turn was after yours, as everytime he gets up to bowl you end up so distracted you only barely realize its your turn already. How anyone let someone like you in public is beyond you, truly.

You dont think you are alone in this, however, as you noticed that Alex has been looking at you with eyes youve only rarely seen him allow to be obvious. Whether its intentionally obvious, youre not sure. What you are sure of is that you are not the only one who appreciates the outfit you picked out today.

Time for a small tangent: His apprent overwhelming desire is suprising to you. Though you two havent had anything resembling intercourse before, you havent exactly been prude about sex or its related topics either. Neither has there been any sort of agreement, implicit or otherwise, about waiting for marriage for that kind of thing. You and Alex have shared many an intimate detail and moment together; stayed the night with each other, shared a bed, gotten back pimples he cant reach, etc. You were letting these moments come naturally whenever they do. Especially after the interesting undertones of what was essentially your first real date, you wanted him to go at his own pace. (Also considering that you have had a few sexual partners and even shared this information with him, minus the gory details. His omission of any of his has caused suspicion in you that he has not had any.)

The game goes on for a long while like this, considering theres six participants. Eventually it becomes obvious who is going to even have a chance at coming out on top, Alex and his friend Zane, though you are outdoing even your own expectations by coming out in a solid third.

Halfway through the second game, Zane's date had gone to the bathroom and the other couple had went to the food court to get refreshments and another pizza. Zane gets a spare and taunts Alex with his assuredly very macho display of bowling prowess.

The tv screens indicate its now Alex's turn, though at this point nobody needs reminding of the order. He grabs the dark red bowling ball he picked out before the first game, claims he "doesn't even need bowling shoes to do better than you, Zane" and bowls down nine of the pins with a flourish.

"Lets see if you can do at least as good as me then, knuckle head." Zane says, earing a scoff from his friend. You see a single bead of sweat rolls down his forhead, on the side of his face only you would be able to see from your angle, while he waits for his ball to return. Clearly theres something else on his mind.

"Watch and learn, amateur!" he says as he walks up to bowl, rather too swiftly. He loses his footing and falls forward, thankfully not too spectacularly. The fall however was not the problem. A loud, fluttering, and wet fart explodes out of his ass. It goes on for about 5 whole seconds as Alex's face takes on a shade of red you know all too well.

Either Zane doesn't see his face or doesnt care much for public humiliation (he was always more comfortable with these kinds of things) and says, "Yea yea yea, gasbag we are all very impressed with your mastery of the force, now hit the pin!" Alex swiftly dusts himself off and (much more carefully) bowls down the last pin. Hes put on a normal face, but you see right through his facade as he sits back down on the bench mext to you. "You know, Alex," Zane continues, "chemical weapons aren't allowed in bowling."

"Ohh like you would know, Mr. 'I've Read Every Rulebook on Bowling Ever'." your date retorts, his voice unfaltering to everyones ear except yours. "Its your turn, by the way." he says trying to move on from the moment.

When you go up to bowl, you cant help but smell it. Not too horrible, but not ignorable either. Just like that night two months ago. You bowl, completely averagely, and return to a new pizza and drinks brought back to the table. You sit next to Alex who has suffieciently dodged the moment he desperstely didnt want, in public no less. You place a hand on his thigh as he continues previous conversations with the others. You squeeze tight enough to hopefully relay a twofold message. Reassurance, and also desire.

The game ends, Zane taking first, Alex second, and you third. Exactly as you expected. You all decide to try out the arcade. Most of the games are two or one player, meaning you will get more alone time with Alex.

"Sorry about that, earlier." he says, while you are trying a game that seems to be an off brand Galaga, "Im not lactose intolerant necessarily, but pizza kind of always does that to me."

"You know im not bothered by that, sexy." you say taking your full attention away from the game and giving it to him. He blushes again at your boldness and comfort in semi-private public. The game over jingle plays and the game prompts you insert another credit.

"R-right uhm, lets go try out this game!" he manages to stammer.

He leads you to a basketball game on the back wall of the arcade, where most of the older and more dejected games reside. "I'm crazy good at these." he claims.

"Oh really? Cause im dogshit at basketball." He inserts a credit and looks back at you with a coy smile.

"Well then, watch and learn." he says, almost a whisper. The callback to 30 minutes ago giving you slight chills.

He proceeds to play the game perfectly, not that these games would be hard for someone with even a slight grasp of basketball related skills. Swish, swish, swish, over and over for 2 and a half of the 3 minutes he is alloted.

"Ope wait," he says as he squats slightly, not looking at you, focused entirely on the game and winning. A high pitched airy fart is released as he throws another basket. 15 seconds are left. "Waitwaitwait" he bends over and backs his perfect ass onto your hip. He farts for a solid 10 seconds, directly onto you. Rumbly and low and so *long*. He makes one more basket. He made the high score, even with 'wasting' 10 seconds farting on you. A modest amount of tickets are dispensed as he turns around you, beaming his perfect smile. Not a single hue of red to be found.

"See! I told you!" he seems proud of his display of mastery over this silly arcade game, its incredibly adorable. "You didnt doubt me, did you?"

"If I did, you definitely proved me wrong." You arent sure of what else to say. This is the first time hes farted on you, let alone *near* you, completely without inhibition. You don't think youve ever been more attracted to someone. "Any other hidden talents you wanna show me tonight?"

"Oh, plenty." he says with a wink, "Lets check out a few more games first." He gasps, making you jump. "Is that MARIO KART?"

And hes off. Leaving you in his gas cloud, assuming you are already following. You decide to stay put for a second, taking in his smelly work. He was right, pizza sure does something to him. You cant say you aren't a fan though.

You catch up to him a few moments later. You would have lost him if he hadn't stuck his head out of a nearby enclosed booth. "There you are! Get in here, i wanna kick your ass in the best racing game ever made."

He pulls you into the two person booth. Its dark, and completely black on the inside. Very small windows to kind of maybe see the game thats being played from behind, and thick colorful curtains that offer more privacy than you were expecting. The seats are sticky, keeping in line with nearly every surface of this place. You also cant help but notice that it is remarkably soundproofed. The loud and constant sensory overload of the arcade and bowling alleys are significantly muffled in here. Theres also a smell here that you hadn't noticed outside the booth, faint but noticable. He didn't already,,,,, did he?

"I call Mario, hes my main." You ignore the irony of him claiming a 'main' in a casual party game like this, and lock in Yoshi. "Bro Yoshi is so lightweight, youre gonna get knocked around the whole race,"

"Then I simply just won't get hit. Easy" you claim with a comedic level of confidence.

"We'll see about that then," he says with a pause, "Smelly."

"Oh very rich coming from-"

"Im hitting start!" he cuts you off with a shit eating grin. He is going to be the death of you. Tonight if hes not careful.

The course intro plays revealing the ranch level with the cow obstacles. "Wont get hit, right." He says. Something about his demeanor is subtly different now, though you cant place what exactly. You recognize his master plan when the countdown starts.

On 3, you hear "Oh shit, wait" and you turn to look at him, about to say something witty surely.

On 2, he's lifted up the leg that was touching yours and scrunches up his face in full concentration. A rumbly fart vibrates the seat and warms up your thigh.

On 1, he continues, but gives you a knowing looks that makes you melt.

On go, hes done and already gotten a lead on you. He was getting the timing on the start boost the whole time. He was distracting you. He races with a shit eating grin that erases any doubt in your mind. He knows *exactly* what he is doing.

When you finally start participating in the race, a couple seconds in, you almost immediately slam directly into a cow obstacle. "You just wont get hit huh?!" he says to rub salt in the wound in your pride.

"Well its not fair when you-"

"When I what?" he cuts you off, daring you to admit whats going on. Daring you to call this teasing what its is. Not just a hunk of a man playing with his farts in front of his date, but a sexually charged show of acceptance of your kinky desires, and an impressive show of gaseous skill. Like a peacock. But, you know, with farts.

You concede, deciding you rather like his teasing side and dont want to 'pop the bubble' of sexual tension just yet. At least you hope its sexual tension.

"Chemical weapons arent allowed in Mario Kart either, you know. Theres not a whoopie cusion powerup." you carefully probe the boundaries of this little game you seem to be playing together. Not the videogame, the other more exciting game between just you two.

"Well maybe they should add one, then, just for me." he proclaims. A brief grunt, and hes making the bench rumble again. "Though maybe that would just be redundant."

Needless to say, he kicks your ass. He takes 1st and you claim a very solid 6th. You scoot yourself even closer to him and wrap your arms around his middle, starting to take up his own personal space. "Why are you taking your hands off the wheel? Theres 3 more races."

You give him your best 'i need you carnally' eyes, "I'm feeling too distracted to participate, though I wanna see you smash these CPUs that someone decided to put on the hardest difficulty."

"Are you sure? we can always play another game or call it a ni-"

"No." its your turn to cut him off. "I'm really ok being right here with you. I'll let you know if that changes."

A small pause from him, his breathing slightly caught in his throat, "Ok, we dont have to go anywhere. But here, lets get more comfortable."

He leans forward and lifts up off the seat. He gives you that same look he's been saving only for your eyes all night. You realize what hes asking.

"Good idea." you say as you slide under him to let him sit on your lap. Hes not too tall so you can still see comfortably over his shoulder, though he does weigh more than you so its a touch uncomfy. You don't care though, since his ass is sitting directly on your crotch. (Now, if youd like to imagine yourself having a phallus, there is no universe where he wouldn't immediately realize how hard you are.)

Your arms are still wrapped around his waist as he starts the next race with a "You're going down, Toad." Your racer remains stationary at the start, getting hit by shells and other racers every time they drive by. You notice, with your hands in closer proximity than they've ever willfully been to his crotch, hes turned on too. *Incredibly so*. Though his mannerisms rarely show it. He still smashes the competition, small quips and vocalizations from him displaying his immersion in the game. He really doesn't like Toad.

His farts are flowing completely uninhibited now. Now that hes not sitting directly against the hard plastic of the seat, he can let rip without fear of the sound attracting unwanted attention. The attention he *is* getting hes made clear that he very much wants. From your vantage, they are far from silent. Rumbly and low, some squeaky and short. Most are long and would have been so boisterous as to make your grandma blush, if it werent for your nether regions taking and absorbing them. You can feel every blast of wind, every adjusting of his posture, every stomach rumble. The smell is completely unmistakable now. His body, pressed up against your own, starting to sweat slightly from close proximity, nerves, and the rising humidity in the space. Each fart, ripped mercilessly onto your most sensative parts.

Needless to say you didnt notice when he finished the last race (taking first place, obviously). "Hell yea! Eat shit Toad!" he pumps his fist and farts again. "That guys been on my ass all night!" He turns around and notices its your turn to be a blushing mess. His grin tells you the irony was fully intentional. "You ok still?"

You can only muster a smile and a nod, truly at a loss for words in this moment.

"Good, I wanted to adjust something really quick then." He sits up slightly making you realize just how much you were being slightly crushed. He grabs your right hand, the one closest to the curtain, unbuttons his jeans (not touching the zipper) and thrusts your hand down the seat of his pants. His underwear is silky and soft as your hand sinks into the heft of his right ass cheek. You instinctively give it a squeeze and let out a small groan of suprise and pleasure.

"Shhh, careful." he hushes, putting a large and reassuring hand over your mouth. His eye contact is mesmerizing. "Gotta be quieter than that, ok?" Again all you can do is nod, though this time talking isnt much of an option.

"You know, I'm actually loving that you're into this." He said it. You suppose it'd be ridiculous to deny at this point. You're just suprised that its been him taking each step forward into these weird desires of yours so boldly.

"But," he continues, "I want this to be just between me and you, ok?" You notice in this moment that his eyes are dilated, and hes trembling very slightly. He looks like a cat thats about to pounce on his prey. Behind it all, though, you can tell hes scared. Scared and pleading with you. He wants you, *only you*, to know about this part of him.

"So, keep quiet, and enjoy the show. Maybe tonight, we can stay at my place and you can get a taste of just how good at this I am?" His smile tells you that you dont have to say anything. He inserts another game token, and locks in Mario.

Thankfully, nobody else wanted to play Mario Kart that night. Though they'll likely have to fumigate the unit before allowing the public access to it again.

You don't know how many games he played. You didn't care. He was marking his territory on your hand the entire time. Your hand eventually glided from his right cheek to the valley in between. His underwear may as well not exist, though it remains a very important barrier that he has not broken down yet. These barriers are his to show you through, and you to enjoy the anticipation of whats behind them.

You left hand had started to drift under the front of his shirt, and further south. You went slowly, trepidatious that it may be too much for him right now. He only tensed up slightly when you first suggested you wanted to head that direction, giving him pause before saying "Yea, go ahead". He is big, and he is definitely hard. Still, you stayed at the inderwear level, for the same reasons your other hand didn't either.

After who knows how many races, most of which he came on first, you both hear a familiar voice.

"There you guys are!" its Zane, outside the booth. Your left hand quickly shoots up out of the front of his pants, though you have not the time nor the skill to remove your right or button up his jeans in time.

"We were looking for you guys, the place closes in 10 minutes." Zane pokes his head through the curtain on your left side, none the wiser of where your right hand could be. The rest, however is plain to both see and smell. "Jeez man, remind me to never buy you pizza again."

For the briefest of moments your heart is completely still, unsure of what to do. Of course you would get caught what the hell were you both thinking?

Thats as far as your thoughts go before Alex speaks up. "You say that every time we get pizza together, and you still do it."

"Lets get you two lovebirds out of here before gasbag here makes the whole arcade inhospitable. Come on, quit canoodling!" Zanes expression seems knowing, but shows no signs of disgust. You suppose he must be used to Alex's smell by now.

His friend is gone, and Alex slides off of your lap. His eyes are still hungry looking, though his smile is sweet and tender. "Come on, my place has a nice shower." he pauses to consider the forwardness of his words. "I mean, if you would still- if youd like to go home-" You cut him off with a kiss.

"I would love to go back to your place, unless you think I smell to bad?"

He kisses you again, his confidence returned. "No I dont think so, but you should probably wash your hand." he chuckles as he leaves the booth. You sniff your hand and realize what he meant. Thats the closest your face has ever been to his ass. Your arousal returns with a vengance, and you hope thats not where tonight ends.

~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone is piled into Zanes car. You all decided to carpool since gas is expensive as hell and Zane has a big ass car. He asks you to resend your address to his phone, to which you inform him that you will be staying at Alex's tonight. "Oh, ok, easier for me." he says, his voice revealing nothing. Though his eyes through the rearview mirror almost seam to say "Yea I figured."

The drive is quiet and uneventful. Everyone is likely tired from a long day, though you are wound up like a spring. Alex is holding your hand, your right hand specifically, maintining its warmth. If either of you smell like Alex's butt still, nobody mentions it.

(again, imagin its nighttime)

His apartment is clean and spacious, and his neighbors recently moved out. Of course, its definitely a bit of a bachelor pad. You can tell he doesnt get visitors often. Its not dirty, just untidy. You suspect he didnt plan on taking you home with him tonight.

He makes no mention of you needing a shower when you walk in. "Gimme just a sec, be right back." he says as he makes a swift, but not urgent beeline to his bedroom.

It isn't often you find yourself in his apartment. if theres going to be an overnight stay for either of you, its usually him staying at yours. The livingroom has large windows letting in a lot of natural light, which gives the room a completely different feel than you're used to.

You also notice how his kitchen isn't very tidy either, though its far from the barebones kitchen units youd expect from a single man his age. He mentioned once or twice that he "dabbles" in cooking, and you now see what he means. Unorganized, cabinet doors left open, strange organization habits. You cant help but look inside as you walk up to close the cabinet doors yourself. You find that ingredient and spice organization is clearly not his strong suit. Bags of popcorn stored next to a three quarters full bag of rice. Cans of soup next to a packet of,,,, is that a packet of yeast? Somehow he has two bottles of different brand olive oil in two different cabinets accross each other. Both opened and half empty.

Before you can wonder how he managed to accomplish that, his voice from the room snaps you back to the excitement of the night.

"Hey! Come here real quick!" he half yells from his room.

As you enter, you are beholden to a very welcome sight. Alex is naked from the waist up, standing between the end of his bed and his mirror, holding his phone up to take a picture of himself.

"Forgot to make a post today." oh right, his job. You watch as he finds an angle that frames his chest, arms, and behind perfectly to his liking. Just slutty enough for his (and your) tastes. He makes a cute little face, almost a smoulder, and you hear as he rips an absolutely thunderous and titanic fart as he holds the pose. It goes on for several seconds, leaving you stunned in silence the entire time. At the end of the 12 second long emission, he snaps the picture. "Perfect, I'll just schedule that to post tomorrow morning."

He looks back at you, feigning ignorance with that cute smile he loves to pull. "What?"

"Really?" you ask, putting on a facade of your own, making his face go red again.

"What?!" he half whines, putting on an almost pouty face as he turns away to write a caption.

You walk up and place a hand firmly on his ass, grabbing longingly, wanting to do a little boundary pushing of your own. "You tell me what." you tease, leaning in for a kiss.

Before you connect, he farts again, right into your palm, as he has already done so many times tonight. He turns away from your kiss and goes to lay face down on the bed. As he turns, you catch a glimpse of red on his cheeks.

Worried you went too far, you sit next to him on the bed. You touch his arm gently, "You know, if it's all too much, we don't have to do anything. I know whe havent really talked about.... *those* kind of boundaries before." It's true, not out of anything intentional from either of you, it just never came up in conversation. You like his gentlemanly, almost chivalrous persona he puts on in public. Though you were always dissapointed that he never seemed to be comfy enough to fully drop it.

"No it's not-" he starts talking into the pillow, cutting himself off and sighing deeply. You watch as his muscles relax, and he turns to look at you directly. "It isn't that I don't want to. It's just..." You don't interject, letting him collect his thoughts. "It was always a thing with me and my friends. And it was hilarious. And we loved it. But at some point it was, different for me."

You feel heat in the back of your neck as you already know what hes about to describe.

"It never stopped being funny, but they all seemed to grow out of it more. Believe it or not. But I never did, I still wanted to joke around like that. And then I noticed that I wasn't even really laughing at it anymore, but I still wanted to-"

You place a finger on his lips. Your right hand. You make deep, serious eye contact with him before you say, "I know." In that moment you watch him go through every emotion available to him, before landing on understanding. His eyes dialate again and turn slightly pleading, like a dog begging for something they dont fully understand. You both realize just how close you've cuddled together on the bed, and you both remember what you were doing in a Mario Kart booth 30 minutes ago. What he was doing with that hand you are currently holding to his lips.

The moment breaks and hes on top of you. Kissing you wildly and hungrily. Grasping and reaching for something, any part of you to hold onto. Your hands instinctively went to his ass. Kneading them through his jeans like dough. He has just awakened a beast that lives inside of you both, and it demands a feast.

Your shirt came off at some point during the eating of each others faces. You notice this only when he breaks free and leans backward, beginning to tower over you in all his shirtless glory. His pants putton is still undone and his fly is doing its best. His stomach rumbles slightly, just audible enough for you both to hear it and for him to give you a knowing smirk.

"Wait," he says, as if violently pulling the pair of beasts back by their leash, "I don't really...." a pause "know what I'm doing." Before you can say your reassurances, he says, "Oh no I've had sex before, just nothing worth writing home about. I guess I know why, now."

A brief moment of introspection from him, before continuing, "I was going to say, that ive never done anything like this," he gestures down at where your still clothed privates are rubbing against eachother, "So, I'm going to just wing it, and I want you to trust me like I trust you, ok? If theres anything you're not comfy with, let me know and I'll stop immediately."

You nod, a little too frantically. "The same goes to you. I've dabbled in this, but you havent. Take it at your pace, ok?"

Through his eyes you watch his heart melt in real time. "Ok." is all he says before hes lifting up and removing his jeans.

You help him, sensually touching his thighs in places youve never explored before, and as fast as he got up hes back down on top of you as before. You feel the weight of his heavy balls through his white Calvin Klein briefs (he always had expensive taste in clothes. underwear too, apparently). His two large globes of an ass sitting directly on your privates. You haven't forgotten what its capable of.

"I did say I was gonna show you my talents tonight." He says, the red on his face from arousal, not embarrassment. "So I have something to confess to you."

Your inquisitive look speaks for you, and he continues, "That party, couple months ago, when i cut off Gabe from telling that story about me? Well I wanna tell you it now." He notices how both your face and your nethers react to this. "I also want to show you."

He lifts a leg over you, and starts to turn around as he tells his story. "You see, I made Gabe shut up at the party because I specifically requested that none of them talk about that night. You know, scouts honor or something to that effect." His bulbous ass is now front and center in your vision. "It wasn't traumatic or anything, just not a side of myself I wanted widely known. You know with my career and all. Also wouldve made it hard to get dates." You were hoping he knew how much him taking his time was driving you crazy.

"Well, that internet trick Gabe mentioned, was a trick to fart whenever you want." Thats the first time hes said the word 'Fart' in front of you. "We all learned how to do it, and it was an insanely hilarious night. Though I honestly blew the competition out of the park."

His hands were down the back of his underwear now. His knees spread apart slightly, and he goes face down, ass up on the bed in front of you. "Which im sure isn't a suprise to you." He pulls his cheeks apart slightly and sucks in his gut in an odd way. You hear a loud and deep wooshing sound as you understand what he just did.

He looks over his shoulder at you. "I hope you appreciate my skills as much as they did that night." A loud and boisterous fart explodes out of his ass. Its sound is like a stock sound effect for a fake fart in TV shows or movies, but this one is *oh so real*. You watch as his underwear literally flutters from the force of it. You can't take it anymore and dive right into his cheeks, muffling it halfway. Your arms wrap around his waist and your hand stops right on his member, honestly completely unintentionally.

He laughs, a genuine laugh charged with sexual gratitude and just a hint of cockyness. His next words send a chill down your spine. "You want me to take off my underwear?"

You dont answer, instead removing them for him. He exclaims suprise, and releases a short fart to allevate any anxieties you may hold. His ass is beautiful. Covered in thin and short blonde hairs only visible from this distance, with a deeper jungle in his crack. His cheeks are bubbly, but also toned, revealing his trips to the gym aren't fruitless. You run your hands over them gently but firmly, barely revealing the sloghtest glimpse of his hole that hides behind all that perfection.

"Wait wait wait, take this one." he says straining. he bends forward slightly, revealing more of his hole and his balls hanging down under it. The fart he releases is blustery, deep, and sends a shiver down your spine with its musky, but not overpowering smell. He may be farting on command, but he was still gassy before he started. The fart lasts at least 20 seconds, or was it only 5? Its difficult to count when youre in such ecstacy. He laughs at his fart again, sending even more chills to your junk.

"I'm so glad I'm not rhe only one enjoying this." As he says this, your grasping right hand has found his erect member, and has started stroking it slowly. He is rather girthy, and long. Lucky you.

"Oh fuck hold on-" he releases another fart. This time your nose finds his hole like its laser guided, your mouth begining to lick and pleasure his sack. This fart is high pitched and squeaky, though as you stroke him he bends forward into the pleasure, causing it to become lower and airier.

With your left you begin to pleasure yourself, frantically and more sloppy than you typically do. Alex is fully bent over now, squirming and moaning cutely under your touch.

"O-Oh fuck, I, I'm-" he rips a small, but very loud fart right on your nose. His hole pulses and squirms agaisnt your nose, as your vision is overtaken by his massive ass cheeks.

"H-Here." he says, stammering. His gut flexes in that odd way once again, and he sucks in more air to his anus right against your face. His hand reaches back and grabs the back of your head, puching you deeper into his cheeks. "Wouldn't want you to miss this."

He releases a barrage of farts, one after the other, right onto your nose as he moans and groans and grunts your name out loud. He doesn't stop holding you in his ass, he doesn't want you to miss a single second of this, not that youd want to anyways. The gas is unending, its almost overwhelming. You however, were made for this. Your face sits so perfectly between his cheeks, nobody else is as perfect to be taking all his farts right now.

Your pumling on his dick speeds up. He tenses and farts another ripper that you sniff with gusto. His breathing quickens. Hes needing to catch his breath between pushes to rip more on your face. He can feel how ravenous you are for more in the way your mouth and tongue lap hungrily at his balls. He refuses to dissapoint, and never does.

He starts releasing smaller, quick ones in rapid succession now. Your pumps, licks, and sniffs start to sync up with his rips. Youre both getting louder, his moans approaching climax. You cant vocalize as your mouth is full of his balls. "I'm- It's -Ah!"

The finale, he farts right into your nostrils as you both cum in unison. Making a horrible mess of his crumpled up sheets. Not to mention the sweat and the smell that will have to come out in the wash. Neither of you move from your positions immediately. Though he is the first to get up. He removes the soiled top sheet and doesnt replace it before laying in bed next to you.

He grasps you tightly in his arms, and pulls you under the covers with him. Still naked and sweaty and smelly. Neither of you care. Youve never been held so tight before.

Your hands rest comfortably cupping his ass. You fit like a glove together. "Ooop wait." he rips a fart directly into your cupped hands. A moment of silence before "I'm not gonna stop all night, you know."

You kiss him on the forehead. "I know. Its hot." He smiles contentedly into your chest, and farts again.

[ysrjune]

౨: SAM MONROE ໒; TWILIGHT AU

[ inspired by something I saw on tumblr/bot on j.ai made by erosmutt. ]

[ I don’t think this is in chronological order of the saga but if it is then yippee!! ]

[ no cullens. rosalie, jasper, emmett, alice, esme, and carlisle exist but under different names. no y/n. 3rd person. doesn’t mention reader being a Swan, but you could imagine it that way. not proof-read. I think my math was lowkey off by a little bit LMFAO ]

໒: Sam Monroe became a vampire back in 2001. He would have been 42 if he was actually alive now, but he's stuck in his 16 year old body. The young boy was hospitalized after an overdose and was dying. What nobody knew was that one of the doctors at that hospital was immortal. He had created a “family” of vampires before even reaching Sam. The young boy grew on the Dr. Kevin in a short amount of time, leading to biting Sam and turning him into a vampire before he reached death.

໒: Another year in high school. Hes learned everything already (only 20 years after he died did he actually pay attention) and now he could actually not pay any attention to his teachers, but still know the answer to every question he was asked.

໒: Sam is a 40 year old man. He's matured since he was 16. Now he doesn't skip class, does his work on time, cooperates on group assignments without fussing��he does everything he didn't do all that time ago. He still prefers to keep to himself, though.

໒: What seemed like his millionth junior year, you switched to his highschool in Forks. You were in his biology class and of course the teacher had to sit you next to him. He kept his eyes to himself but he so desperately wanted to get a better look at you. Sam had only glanced at you when you walked in, but he knew you were beautiful. You smelled great, too. One thing bothered him, though. He couldn't read your thoughts.

໒: Everytime you tried to make small talk with him, he never answered with real words. A shrug, shaking or nodding of the head.. thats all. He didnt even bother to spare a glance. He kept his eyes on his notebook where he would doodle things, and after that first day.. he didn't go to school for 2 weeks. Was it your fault? did you annoy him? a bunch of questions flooded your head.

“Do you guys know that Sam kid? pale skin and black hair with a blue stripe..” you ask the group of kids you started sitting with 2 weeks ago. “Who doesn't know him,” Avery, a girl with black hair and green eyes, answers you. “hes gorgeous.” she continued and smiled. “got your eyes on him or somethin’ ?” Jeremy, a dirty blonde with dark brown eyes, asks. “No,” you shake your head, furrowing your eyebrows. “I just.. sit with him in bio. He hasn’t been here since my first day.” Jeremy shrugs. “He dissappears a lot. Him and his siblings. Their dad likes to take them out everywhere out of town randomly.” he explains. “how many siblings does he have?” you asked Jeremy while picking at the split ends in your hair. “four, but they're like.. dating. its really weird.” Avery rolls her eyes. “They arent actually related. They're all adopted, so you know.. they arent blood.” she lets you in on what was going on between that family. “All those kids have different last names. They have the dads name, yeah, but they dont really use it. Its just there.” she says. “okay well its still really frickin weird. I mean, they sleep under the same roof. like, thats gotta be freaky.” Jeremy shakes his head. “just mind your business, jer.” Joanna, another girl who sat at the table groans.

໒: Just a few days after that conversation at lunch, Sam came back. He was sitting at the lab you two were assigned seated in, and once you walked in, he looked up at you. “Hi..” he starts off a few seconds after you sit in your stool. “Im Sam.. Monroe.” He introduces himself officially. “sorry I didnt get to introduce myself the other day. Im not good with talking to new people.” He confesses, still looking at you. “Its fine,” you assure him and look his way and introduce yourself to him. He managed to make a little bit more small talk after that.

໒: At lunch that day, you saw him sitting with his siblings. A girl with blonde hair whose name is Meli. Her boyfriend.. and adoptive brother, (yikes) Benny. Another boy and girl who were also 'together', Ryan and Julissa. Julissa had copper hair while Ryans hair was plain black. Your group was talking, but you zoned out while sneaking looks at Sam. His outfit today told you a lot about who he is. black cargo shorts, a green shirt underneath a metallica band T.. jewlery covering his wrists, neck, ears and mouth. He was some sort of punk, maybe.

໒: Overtime, he somewhat became your friend after months of trying to get to know him. Month 6 was when you found out his secret. It freaked you out, and it angered him because he knew thats how you'd act, but you just had to snoop around at libraries to read about immortals with cold skin, a diet of blood and lots of other things.

“I'm not afraid,” you tell him, but he knew it was a lie. He heard you heart racing. “You lie a lot. Not a good habit to fall into. Could get you into some serious trouble.” He walks behind you, but once you turn around.. he isnt there. you turn back around and find him standing in front of you, making you flinch. “how did–” “don't be stupid. you found me out so you know how I did that.” He towers over you. “You need to leave me alone. Dont talk to me again. Dont even look my way.” Sam mumbled. “You weren't supposed to find out.” “Anyone who isnt an idiot would know,” you snap back. “Well, congratulations, you arent an idiot. Want a cookie?” He sarcastically asks and walks off. You scoff and run after him. He wasnt using his super fast ability, but he still walked fast. “Sam, I cant just forget about this!” “try your very best, you can do it.” He replies. “Sam-” “shut the fuck up already, God damn!” He looks back at you. But something was off. He was sparkling in the sunlight that casted over him through the trees of the forest you two were in. “you sparkle?” you ask, trying to hold back all those jokes that came into your mind. “yeah, I use my sisters makeup everyday so I can shine.” He throws a sarcastic comment and rolls his eyes. “leave me alone.” but you didn't.

໒: “I'm like 40, you know that.” Sam smirks as you kiss his neck. “I shouldn't be seeing such an old man.. its gross.” you laugh, looking up at him. “super gross, but atleast I look seventeen, right?” he smiles. “sixteen.” you correct. “whatever,” he rolls his eyes and kisses you. Sam felt guilty. He felt like he was taking advantage of you because of how much older he is.. but it quickly went away when you stuck your tongue in his mouth.

໒: Sam hates your friend, Josh. Hes a fucking wolf.. he smells, isnt nearly as good looking as himself, he just.. he isnt trustworthy. “you dont trust me?” you ask Sam when he told you not to go with Josh to ride his motorcycle. “I do,” he shakes his head and looks at Josh. “Its him I dont trust.” Josh was in love with you, Sam wasnt stupid. He knew that you wouldn't leave him for Josh, but.. it still irked him how you still hung out with Joshua, knowing how much Sam didnt like him.

໒: Sam was the one to get you high for the first time. You've used drugs before, but not properly so it never had an effect. Even when Sam is fucking dead hes ruining his body. (not really..)

໒: Sam prefers to talk problems out but sometimes he just gets so angry that he cant help but yell at you. He goes too far sometimes and he doesn't apologize right away either. He just leaves and doesnt return for a few hours.. even days. He tries his best to make it up to you afterwards though.

໒: Hes always blasting his music in his airpods, room, car.. literally everywhere hes at. When you hangout in his room, theres always his playlist in the background.. but not on full volume so you could hear each other.

“I wont do it. You're crazy.” Sam says while looking for something in his drawer. You wanted him to turn you into a vampire judt like him but he hated the idea. “You're not gonna want me when im all wrinkly and disgusting.” you argue. Sam looks back at you with an irritated look. “you dont get how I feel about you, huh? I dont fucking care. I'll always want you, it doesnt matter what you look like.” he rolls his eyes and starts digging again. “Sam,” “Say one more thing about it and im taking you home. I'd never fucking do that to you. You dont know what you want.”

໒: weeks after that conversation, Sam waited for you outside your house when you came back from school. He asked you to go on a walk with him, and he looked really upset.

“we're leaving Forks.” He says, leaning against a tree trunk. “Kevin is supposed to be 10 years older than he looks. People are starting to notice.” He says, crossing his arms. Your heart started beating fast. “okay.. so what do I tell my dad? how am I gonna leave with you?” You ask. Sam looks you dead in the eye. “you don't. you're staying, I cant take you with me.” you had been together almost a year and he was just leaving like that? “so you're breaking up with me?” tears swell in your eyes. Sam doesnt answer. “you're not.” you shake your head. “you cant leave me.” you sob and hug him. “I can and I am. Look, ive been meaning to break this off anyway. We dont make any sense, babe. You're gonna die one day and what am I gonna do? Its better if I leave and un-attach myself.” he shakes his head. “I promise it'll be like I never even existed. You'll forget about me. It wont hurt you.” He looks down at you.

It really was like he never existed after a month that he left. No one talked about him or his family, your texts weren't going through to him or his siblings, your dad didnt ask about him and neither did Josh. Sam was gone. He was beginning to become a figment of your imagination. But he wasnt truly gone. You didnt really forget about him.

The pain reminded you that he was real.

@anakinstwinklebunny @lovethestarrs @literally-izzy @valloos @alexlovesysrjune

get added to my taglist! let me know!

[maria-taiwin]

Hi, Mo Du fandom! I had this plan in mind to organize all the "extra/extended" scenes in the Audio Drama that I appreciated more and I thought it was good to share with you all!

The post will be reblog everytime I remember something else or someone else points out their favorite scenes. In this way we will love Zhoudu a bit more!

The translation is mostly automatic but in some scene I was helped and I'll quote the source when needed.

Let's go (I tried to summarize the scenes in chronological order):

1) When Luo Wenzhou cries in front of his mother at the hospital because of Fei Du.

LWZ's mother: "Son, the person who saved you..."

Luo Wenzhou tries to narrate what has happened but his voice trembles: "We were still inside......The situation was sudden at that time...The moment the explosion hit, he threw me to the ground. He used his body to block the impact, but he didn't have time to block the car door. His back was hit hard by the car door that rushed towards him.

I..." his voice is broken and he starts to sob.

"Mom, if he... if he..."

LWZ's mom: "The heaven assists the good ones, so everything will be fine."

2) - at the New Year night, when Luo Wenzhou asks to Fei Du when he plans to make official the relationship and Fei Du gives the spiral ring. Lwz is startled and then starts to kiss him fiercely and pushing him towards the bedroom.

Luo Wenzhou provoking: "who did you call old man again?"

Fei - little brat - Du: "why? I'm not right?"

LWZ: "Fine then. This old man is not going to let you out of the bed until next year." Moral of the story: the old man devours the little brat

3) - After this passionate night, Luo Wenzhou wakes up with Fei Du beside him still sleeping and he takes time to admire him.

LWZ: "He is sleeping so soundly." He remembers the early night when Fei Du gave him the ring. "hey you are still not awake at this time. Did I not control my temperament last night?"

Fei Du then asks in his sleeping: "Shixiong, what time is it?"

Luo Wenzhou replies tenderly: "stay at bed, it's 8 o' clock"

Fei Du: "hmm, thirsty"

"Well I'll get some water."

And then LWZ takes a glass of water, he drinks and mumbles to Fei Du to come closer. Before he realizes it, Luo Wenzhou is giving him water mouth to mouth. Fei Du dumbfounded coughs a little while Luo Wenzhou laughs delighted for his surprise attack.

Luo Wenzhou: "so are you awake? Uh? Hey are you okay?" And then provokes Fei Du deliberately: "who said you should get up at 6 for morning excercise? Uh?"

Fei Du smiles provocatively and he lies down again: "aren't there many kinds of morning excercises, Shixiong?"

Luo Wenzhou grabs him: "You brat. Can you please be honest this early in the morning? Don't-" and then Fei Du stops with his mouth. There are sound of sheets, rubbing, and kissing, until they hear a knock at the door. Luo Wenzhou curses Xiao Haiyang 😅

4) - when Fei Du is investigating with Zhou Huaijin, Luo Wenzhou drives him to the place where they are supposed to meet. Before Fei Du leaves the car, Luo Wenzhou calls him.

"hey Fei Du, didn't you forget something?"

"uh? what-?"

And then LWZ grabs him and kisses him deeply. Fei Du lets him kiss him with pleasure. After they separate, Fei Du whispers "shixiong". Luo Wenzhou makes him promise that he will not drink alcohol and that he must be careful.

Fei Du seriously: "Mn. Got it". (about not drinking alcohol he will keep his promise!)

5) - When Fei Du lets slip about the attempted murder (on the taxi) and tries to downplay the danger and LWZ just smacks him for not telling him before. The scene here is a bit longer.

LWZ: "you brat! You kept something so important from me?? Uh?? Asking for a spaking aren't you?"

Fei Du tries to soathe him but Luo Wenzhou puts him in a corner: "you little bastard. Didn't you solemnly swear to me that it was all alright? And I fucking thought I could trust you!"

"But everything was fine *kinda*"

"You brat!"

Fei Du can't help to soathe him with his ruffian voice: "Shixiong, dont...don't be mad..." He is trying to calm down his anger and coax him (and then he will do something that's going to make him even more scared and angry 🙈).

LWZ eventually calms down a bit but they don't have much time to talk about this: "I'll deal with you when I get back ".

But then Fei Du stops him (he is trying to cling to Luo Wenzhou a little while longer, maybe because he already has his dangerous plan in mind but can't help to cling on Luo Wenzhou and reserve for himself a little tender moment before he dives headfirst into danger.)

Fei Du calls him: "Shixiong"

LWZ stops: "what's up?"

And then Fei Du walks to him and hugs him with a deep sigh. Luo Wenzhou has already gives in and reassures him sweetly: "Hey. What is it?". Fei Du smiles a bit: "it's nothing. Shixiong.." (and when Fei Du calls him like this we can hear Luo Wenzhou startling a bit, he's so in love and attentive 😭) "..be careful" and Fei Du gives him a little kiss.

Luo Wenzhou already relaxed and irremediably in love: "Alright. Wait for me here. Don't go running around"

Fei Du holds off on answering for a couple of seconds. He breaths heavily: "Got it"

Luo Wenzhou lets out a sigh of relief and caresses him: "I'm going now."

"Mn"

When Luo Wenzhou gets out, Fei Du sighs heavily.

6) - When Luo Wenzhou realized what Fei Du has done (he was just kidnapped).

"Fei Du, you crazy!"

"Impossible... impossible..."

7) - When Fan Siyuan imposes Fei Du to press the bomb and Fei Du remembers his mother screaming: "you cannot yield! You cannot surrender!" And even though he can't breath he repeat these words.

8) - Luo Wenzhou is crying and sobbing for Fei Du after he saves him at the end of book 5 😭 he's so hearthbroken.

When Fei Du says "All the monsters have been cleaned up. I am the last one... Can you let me be locked up in your house?", the scene is extended here.

Luo Wenzhou through the sobbing replies: "I will not only lock you up, but also lock you with me... for the rest of your life!"

Fei Du repeats with harsh voice because of his condition: "For the rest of your life..."

Luo Wenzhou continues to talk despite his sobbing: "I have already said that you are mine. Even if you breathe, it has something to do with me. You must follow me for the rest of your life. You are not allowed to run anywhere." and crying and crying.

The scene ends with Fei Du trying to repeat what LWZ said but he falls in coma.

9) - Fei Du sees his mother in an allucination after he passes out at the end of book 5 (before Luo Wenzhou says "I came too late").

He sees a younger version of himself at the beach who plays with his mother, a fake memory.

Fei Du thinks: "The sunshine, the waves, the sound of the piano and also her smile... I have never seen her smile like this."

His mother comes and talks to him: "is it all over?"

"It's all over"

"That's good. Fei Du, the road that you walk after this is still very long. You have to live well."

Fei Du laughs a bit: "mom, I'm doing very well right now. I met a person... a person who I can spend my whole life with."

"That's great. This way, your mom's heart will be at ease. Fei Du, do you see that light? You must remember: always walk towards the light"

"Towards the light..." and he has a flashback of every moment Luo Wenzhou caring for him. (The translation of this scene was helped by pearl_milkteas on X)

10) - When Luo Wenzhou is scared because he doesn't find Fei Du in his apartment on the novel extra and he runs through the stairs and then in the basement. After he hugs Fei Du desperetely and Fei Du sees how LWZ was scared for him, Fei Du tells him: "Shixiong, I'm alright. You don't have to worry"

11) - After they bury Fei Du's father and talk about his mother and Fei Du cries for the first time in front of Luo Wenzhou, Luo Wenzhou offers to carry him on his back down the hill.

After Luo Wenzhou thinks that he can never stop loving him and that he has fallen into the hands of this bastard, Fei Du attracts his attention by calling him.

Luo Wenzhou: "mn?"

Fei Du: "I love you too" with a beautiful and romantic soundtrack in the background.

12) - When Fei Du has just taken Fei Qian, Luo Wenzhou calls him and we can hear an extended conversation:

"What do you want for dinner?"

Fei Du: "dinner... I want baked prawns!"

Luo Wenzhou: "oh perfect! There's a new seafood place just outside our house, why don't we-"

Fei Du: "no! I want to eat your cooking"

Luo Wenzhou sighs: "but it's finally weekend. Can you let me slack off this once? You know there's an opening promo, 20% off"

Fei Du being super brat: "no!! I'll only eat your cooking"

Luo Wenzhou sighs and chuckles: "I don't get you. Every time we have shrimp, you just open your mouth. You don't even eat unless I peel them for you."

Fei du: "hmm how about.. this time I do the peeling and feed you? How does the sound?"

Luo Wenzhou laughs content and amused: "fine!"

13) - Fei Du is talking with LWZ about Zhou Huaijin who is working hard everyday, often overtime at Fei Du's company. He even sleeps on the sofa in the office. Luo Wenzhou suddenly sighs as if he was sensing something and says softly to Fei Du: "hey come here." Fei Du accomplishes.

"Fei Du?"

"Mm?"

"Do you... do you ever have those days?"

"What days?"

"Not wanting to go home. Lonely. Not willing to talk to people"

Fei Du sighs and chuckles a bit: "No. Because I never had home."

Luo Wenzhou listens silent for two seconds and then says tenderly: "hey..."

Fei Du: "but Shixiong... since I have you wherever you are is my home"

Luo Wenzhou stops breathing and he inhales a deep "fei du", inable to say much because too many feelings and hugs him 💝 (he is still so overwhelmed everytime Fei Du shows with honesty his love!)

14) After this scene later we can hear the cats fighting behind the room and Fei Du stops whatever him and Luo Wenzhou were doing (🤪): "wait a minute wait a minute. Those two brats seem to fight again."

LWZ: "Let's them fight. I don't have time to take care of them. Mr Fei, why are you still distracted?" (Luo Wenzhou is a flirt too!).

15) - At the end of extra we have a recap of Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du through the years. At the beginning young!Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou were like dog and cat, Tao Ran insisted they should take care of the child but Luo Wenzhou played tsundere.

Luo Wenzhou once sighed dramatically and said to Fei Du that in winter he should wear more clothes. When Tao Ran wasn’t available, Luo Wenzhou once cook for Fei Du but the child didn't quite appreciated.

Fei Du: "I'm full"

Luo Wenzhou: "what? You only ate two and you're done? I cooked dumplings for you and you're still being picky"

Fei Du sneers: "you call these dumplings? These are noodle strips boiled with meat filling"

Luo Wenzhou: "you! Brat. Take it or leave it"

And then we have Luo Wenzhou trying to learn how to cook better in his kitchen. The first step to become Daddy Luo.

16) - This is a new extra. They are cuddling while they are talking about food.

Luo Wenzhou: "okay let get this straight. This kind of food is a nope. Spicy food is a nope. You are really hard to sustain."

Fei Du: "But shixiong, i'm very easy to keep" (the mood is like Fei Du is referring to himself as a pet)

LWZ: "since when??"

Fei Du: "I like to eat everything you cook 😇"

LWZ: "you only know how to cajole." But he can resist to his charm and gives Fei Du a long kiss.

Fei Du is out of breath: "shixiong...if one day you were to leave me, my heart would die." This words are not just to flirt. He's really vulnerable and sweet in his true feelings.

Luo Wenzhou reassures him: "Don't worry. I won't leave you. We have our whole life ahead of us."

17) - A new silly extra

Fei Du is trying gently to wake him up: "Shixiong come on, get up. You will be late again."

LWZ: "honey, it's still dark outside. Let me sleep a little longer. 😴😴😴"

18) - They are trying to train together 😅

Luo Wenzhou complains that Fei Du is a stupid brat and he is doing wrong positions. Fei Du whines too that he has delicate hands and that it's Captain Luo who is doing incorrect positions. Luo Wenzhou is manhandling him 😎

Fei Du: "Wait what, where do you want to take me?" Luo Wenzhou lifted him in his arms.

"I teach you how to lift someone properly. You've never had a coach. That's why I'm here 😎"

19) - New extra: Luo Wenzhou is trying to use a new app and Fei Du is there sitting, enjoying the scene. I didn't quite get the context but basically LWZ was arguing with the mechanical voice of the app because he didn't understand shit.

LWZ: "What are the best congratulations for rotten rice heads!"

Fei Du can't help but burst into laughter by seeing his old man fighting with an app. Luo Wenzhou after listening his lover's bright and precious laugh starts to babble. "Wh-What are you laughing at? I can’t keep up with the times?"

Fei Du still smiling: "Yes yes, you can... This game is a lucky game".

In the background Luo Yiguo judges them

20) - Post canon Zhoudu is cuddling and Fei Du says: "shixiong, I have a lot of money, but all my luck in this life have been used to meet you."

Luo Wenzhou as usual is a bit startled at first but replies with a decisive "brat" and can't help to hug him. Translation helped by Iangqiao on X

21) - This is a bonus extra.

One day Luo Wenzhou goes to Fei Du's office to make him a surprise (he finished work early and Fei Du in previous days was recovering from a cold ) and everyone at Fei Du's office knows who Luo Wenzhou is and whispers about him.

(translation offered by supertingg on X. You can listen on their profile too --> https://x.com/supertingg/status/1338161829613162496 )

22) - Another extra scene. The voice actors do a skit.

One day LWZ had nothing to do and was feeling playful. He covers Fei Du's eyes from behind. In falsetto LWZ provokes him: "heyyy guess who?"

You can listen to halfxin account on youtube: https://youtu.be/WqiI70Wkjuo?si=MqxGv-0UVZHCgIHw

23) - Mid autumn extra special: Fei Du makes mooncakes for Luo Wenzhou aka his only contribution is adding sugar.

Ah this special extra features Priest herself. You can listen this extra on halfxin account too: https://youtu.be/VTSn73hd3fU?si=cZJwfGX_awzr3d7Y

[paper-mario-wiki]

i'm loving seeing you post more of your art!! out of curiosity, how long have you been drawing? is there anything specific you do to practice or do you just pick something and draw it? (i've been trying to learn to draw myself for the past year or so, and seeing your art more often has become somewhat of an inspiration for me!)

ive been doodling all my life! thought when i say "doodle" i mean "as an unmedicated youth i was unable to focus on a drawing for more than 45 minutes at a time"

here's some posts from an art blog i had in middle school, and the first year of highschool.

what most critically separates this art from the art ive been doing recently is that i NEVER used any refrence. ever. i looked at stuff to make sure i knew what it looked like, but the rest was always roughly estimated based on what i thought would look good (which was largely based on cartoons).

but i only ever started trying to "learn how to draw" over the past year. here's the thing: spending a bunch of hours practicing drawing cubes and cylinders is like. all you have to do to see yourself start improving in real time.

draw a bunch of cubes and cylinders, and learn how to make them look realistic in proportion to each other using references to guide you. practice drawing stuff like basic buildings, cans of soda, maybe a cake (3 short fat cylinders on top of each other) if you're feeling daring. then try to draw slightly more complicated shapes, like spheres and cones and stuff. layer these shapes on top of each other to make more complicated shapes. you're gettin the picture.

infuriatingly, basic shapes is like 40% of the "getting it to click" work done.

after than, move on to 30 second sketches of nude models using this site. yeah, only 30 seconds. it doesnt matter if it comes out looking like shit, the point is learning how to simplify complicated shapes down into their most basic lines. dont waste time erasing. dont waste time pressing ctrl-z. erasing is your enemy. you arent learning how to erase, you're learning how to draw. (you'll get your eraser back later).

do this hundreds of times. yeah, hundreds. put on a podcast or something. get in a voice call with your friends. but ya gotta practice this one. that's the next 20% of making it "click".

now, unfortunately, the last 40% is just a matter of slamming your head against the wall of art until things slowly start to look better and better. it's sort of like a chemical formula, in that the closer you get to 100% purity, the more and more difficult it becomes to distill it.

the key is to ALWAYS use reference. you cannot learn how to realistically draw something you've conjured from your mind if you cannot depict something that's right in front of you realistically.

im currently in this valley, as most artists are. in fact i dont think it's possible to make art "click" in your mind 100%, but it sure is fun to inch closer and closer!

below is a bunch of art in chronological order from april to now. you'll see that it's not really a straight road of getting better and better, but you'll see my lines slowly getting more confident and details becoming more clearly defined!

[caramellody]

I am not immune to Usha/ G13posting, actually. In fact, i have lots of thoughts. About it, and it's that @grovylelover brought up the dissonance between the G13 that is being portrayed and presented vs. How G13's actions and thoughts show him to truly be.

LIKE. If we lay out EVERYTHING we know about him so far in as chronological of an order as It essentially goes:

- 8 months pre-canon something happens to the hive where G13 gets captured and taken in by the government

- At some points, G13 and Johnny are both 'hired' at the same time to work for the shadow falcons. Both having someone that is clear they care about being used as blackmail (Lucy for Johnny and Slicer for G13)

- biggest clue into his thoughts is in his comments on Slicer. The fact that. Usha, even as shes being erased catches onto the fact that theres a part of G13's thoguhts on Slicer that he isnt touching upon. Many thoughts.

I dont doubt that. G13's been some level of hardass bastard by nature of the world he lives in. But there's a clear level of empathy and care that he does have for his group. So imagine him when hes being forced to upload an extremely dangerous file, only for a 100 year old woman to come crashing into and taking over his body and he's helpless to do anything because what this means is 2 things:

1. This old woman fucking up the shadow falcon protocol is going to put slicer in danger

2. You've just realized that this world isn't even real to begin with.

Like. That's a LOT to handle on top of all the issues he's already having to deal with! A LOT of his agressive behavior comes off both as a front that hes always had by nature of his situation of being used by the government, coupled with him having to grapple with the fact that hes a fictional character in a fictional movie thats just going to rewind and force them do the same choices again and again and again. And if he remains aware of this fact, then that's torture, and that could make ANYONE bitter

[najaemism]

thinking about an episode au where it diverges from the main plot. it's set 5-6 years later — haechan is a doctor at a hospital in some city far away from everyone else, he's already lost contact with almost everyone (except markrin), and he comes across someone he hasn't seen in a long time.

nari is a project architect working at her cousin's construction firm, in a city far away from everyone else. she moved there after graduating, and since then she had lost contact with everyone. she'd built a pretty good life there now, she has a good job, she made new friends, and then ... she comes across haechan, who's new to the city, and at first she doesn't want to interact with him at all.

they never really became close back then, nor were they even friends. they were acquaintances at best. he was always just her former best friend's boyfriend back then so she never felt the need to have some sort of close relationship with him, so seeing him again was slightly awkward. but then she finds out he's her new neighbor... and all of a sudden she keeps seeing him anywhere she goes — at the grocery store, at the coffee shop near her work, at a fast food restaurant, at a convenience store, the hospital (ok to be fair, he does work there...), and suddenly it felt like he was just everywhere.

so, when they both end up being at the same bar at the same night, with the same group of people (turns out they have mutual "new friends" in the city), they can't help but actually start talking to each other. one conversation turns into getting each other's contacts and texting each other, to seeing each other at the grocery store then shopping together, to seeing each other at the coffee shop and deciding to sit together, to hanging out at each other's places and ordering take out (because it's movie night and turns out they actually have quite a few similar interests), to developing a genuine friendship they never thought they would have (nari being the only sense of familiarity for haechan in a city he's not really familiar with), to hanging out and making plans together despite being busy with work because — because somehow, they feel less tired when they're with each other, a respite from their busy lives — and to eventually, coming to the realization that... oh, they're starting to develop feelings for each other.

then, conflict arrives in the form of hera seo, who is in the city for a conference, and sees both her (former) best friend and ex-boyfriend "hanging out", years after the last time she saw them.

guys this has been plaguing my mind for MONTHS so im giving them to u so we can be haunted by the possibility of hyucknari together 🫦 also if this feels like a plot to a 2000s tv drama,,, thats because they are dair coded to me ok HAHAHAH

also i dont really like the idea of dating your best friend's ex/dating your ex's best friend, (even if you're not really on speaking terms with the "best friend" anymore)........ but this is fiction and i love angst 👍🏼 HAHAHAHAHAHHA

anw here's a playlist for them !! i tried to put the songs in chronological order to how their "story" would play out lol i dont think i would actually end up writing something for them, but i needed to make a playlsit and this post for the brainrot 🫦 HAHAHAHAHA

also if hyucknari is a thing in this alternate universe for episode, herajaem will also definitely be a thing 😭

[anxiousalene]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE WISDOM SAGA ⌛️

USUALLY, I PUT THIS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL THERE IS NO WAY ATHENA JUST DIED. I REFUSE IT HOW DARE ZEUS SHE WAS MY FAVORITE WHAT THE HELL. (That was me last night) OKAY SO I LOVE MICO’S VOICE ITS SO ADORABLE AND IN THE ANIMATIC WE GET TO SEE ARGOS! I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN SAID BEFORE BUT I LOVE THE FACT THAT WHEN TELEMACHUS SOMEONE SEND ME A SIGN WE HEAR ATHENA’S MOTIF. ALSO ANTINOUS CAN MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT IF HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT PENELOPE LIKE THAT. DONT YOU DARE DISRESPECT MY GIRL. ALSO WE FINALLY GET TO HEAR THE “Whatchu gonna do about it champ?” AND ITS SO GOOD. ALSO THE FACT THAT TELEMACHUS SAYS “IF I FIGHT THIS MONSTER IS IT YOU I’LL FIND” BECAUSE HIM AND ODYSSEUS GET REUNITED WHEN THEY ARE SLAUGHTERING THE SUITORS AND BECAUSE ODYSSEUS HAS BECOME THE MONSTER THAT TELEMACHUS WILL FIND. I LOVE THE VIDEO GAME FEELS WITH LITTLE WOLF, ANTINOUS BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF TELEMACHUS AND ATHENA BEING LIKE NAHHH AND JUMPING IN AND ATHENA TEACHING HIM TO FIGHT WITH QUICK THOUGHT IS SO CUTE. THE DUET BETWEEN MICHO AND TEAGAN IS GOOD LIKE HOW ARE THEY HITTING THOSE NOTES??? The fact that Athena is still so upset about the whole Odysseus thing is heartbreaking 💔. ITS SO COOL TO SEE HER GO THROUGH THE PAST SAGAS and then we see…CALYPSO! Barbara Wangui’s voice is just so vibey like THE CAST FOR THIS SHOW IS JUST PERFECT. Poor Odysseus being stuck with Calypso and literally just suffering. That man is TRAUMATIZED. ALSO IS POLITIES EVER GOING TO STOP HAUNTING ODYSSEUS AND THE NARRATIVE LIKE I DONT NEED THAT GUT PUNCH EVERY SAGA. AND THE FACT ODYSSEUS CALLED OUT FOR ATHENA IS JUST AHHHHH. Then the one I have been waiting for GOD GAMES! I Love how Apollo and Hephaestus are both like he did this thing and I’m like kinda upset and Athenas like nah he didn’t mean it, and they’re like Okay!! He can go! I CANNOT GET OVER ALL THE THOUGHT THAT GOES BEHIND THE MUSIC ITS SELF, LIKE THE TINKERING IN THE BACKGROUND FOR HEPHAESTUS AND THE FACT THAT ITS JORGE’S DAD ITS JUST AGHHH. THEN J. MAYA COOKING AS APHRODITE, HER VOICE JUST SOOTHES MY BRAIN. AND THEN ARES COMING IN AND ATHENA BEATING HIM AND THEY BOTH BEGRUDGINGLY LET HIM GO, love how Jay paired them up. Hera’s music is so like funky and fun and Athena knows EXACTLY how to get her stepmom to pick her side in the father-daughter argument. BUT BECAUSE ZEUS IS SUCH A SORE FREAKING LOSER AND HE CANT ACCEPT THAT HIS DAUGHTER WON FAIR AND SQUARE…HE ATTACKS HER, Like Holt’s voice is GENUINELY terrifying, you can get the rumbling in his voice like THUNDER. I LITERALLY STARTED CRYING WHEN I SAW ATHENA GETTING HANDED A BABY TELEMACHUS AND THE WARRIOR OF THE MIND MELODY PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AND THE FACT THAT ATHENAS (ALLEGED) LAST WORDS WERE HER BEGGING ZEUS TO LET ODYSSEUS FREE. LIKE HOW COULD JAY DO THAT TO ME. THIS SAGA WAS DEVASTATING BUT ABSOLUTELY AMAZING PER USUAL. I APPRECIATE THE CAST AND THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE SCENES SO MUCH

[semi-imaginary-place]

signalis notes

all i know is lesbian robots.

i feel like i am missing 50% of the info. Like everything is unwell and im not sure the scenes are happening in chronological order. Like the spaceship crash scene seems later than this whole mining facility part. Like the photo changed

Why do i have to know 3 languages to play this game. oh it's actually made by germans. GERMAN anime lesbian robots. Something about goddesses 神女？and all the german i learned from biology is coming into play i can make out like 1/2 of the words probably.

even before this whole zombie cyborg disease thing this place was pretty dystopian like you get paid in rations and people usually die in interrogation. But haha the glorious nation.

Wait there was something about facial synthetic skin coming off didn't the happen to the player character in the intro cutscene. We're totally infected.

I'm a coward so im watching a streamer and chat keeps saying east germany and yeah i'm being converted. War against "evil" empire by totalitarian nation giving real soviets vs nazis vibe. Nothing works and everything is broken or in disrepair but if only we pour more blood into it it has to work because the glorious nation has said it must work.

Uggg assuming the penrose was before the mining facility. Why does alina know elster who just arrived. And other character say elster seems familiar. Where as i thought the implication of the intro was that both arianne and elster were in cryo for a loooong time long enough for everything to degrade and paper to fall apart. It the begining of the game in the hole is someone's room which looks well established and lived in, implying significant time has passed. If then spaceship was suppose to be exploring past the solar system how did it end up back in the solar system on leng.

The one (and only?) man pushes us down an elevator shaft and hey that's a lot of bodies. I could really analyze the narrative gender dynamics... Like the empress and revolutionary and ger daughter and all the soldiers. Everyone except the admin

Ehh I'm just going to read a plot summary horror survival games really just aren't for me. good ol soviet engineering designed to fail after a few years and kill the pilot. o7 laika. I still dont know what the connection is between alina and arianne. Ok everyone in this game has the same face and it's doesn't help that all the replikas have the same color pallette. Something's up with that gate.

I'm not convinced elster and ariane actually exist. Like what if this is alina's dream warping reality. She was sent to the scifi siberian gulags where she escapism dreams about exploring the universe with her girlfriend and weird red eye/the flesh makes it real in a monkey's paw way. Elster exists because alina remembers her friend and comrade and the gestalt was used for the lstr series. That would explain LSTR-S2301 who actually exists and elster is based off of (and is maybe overwriting). What if ariane's past is actually alina's. "After two years of service, Ariane applied to the Penrose Program, but AEON, in charge of her assignments, would give Ariane notice that she was to be stationed on the S-23 Sierpinski Facility, a remote re-education facility on her homeworld of Leng. Ariane did not desire this assignment, and somehow did end up joining the Nation's Penrose Program, the same one on the posters she had seen years prior." Like what if she actually was sent to sierpinski. Someone who cares more about the game should think about this. This would explain how elster and ariane ended up on leng, they were always there inside alina's head as her self insert ship ocs i'd say power fantasy daydream but really their lives are still pretty bad. And then as dream overwrites reality ariane overwrites alina maybe. This hypothesis would explain falks too alina wants someone out there who wants her and is coming for her. This is why the photo changes between the dream shuttle and the real mining camp. Which are then both made real by reality warping whatever. This is why the red eye is in the dancing ending because it's from it's power that this is made possible. This also explains isa who's already dead but keeps showing up to die again. Alina also maybe bombed the neural vault??

"A prison which the only escape is death. Deep below, the dreamer floats in the sea of flesh. The red eye birthing a new world from their dream for eternity and each time the dreamer turns over in their sleep, the world turns over too until only flesh remains." This would make a lot of sense if this is alina dreaming of a different life along with her lost companion. What I wonder about is with the repeated red eye motif if there's significance to all the replicas having a red light in their eyes and bioresonance is also represented with red facial dots. I'm connecting dots on the corkboard.

Also just wanted to say about the whole anna huang vs lilith itou debate. Game never said 2 brains couldn't be used to make a replika's neural imprint. idk.

Also of note is that all the gestalts have western or european (particularly germanic slavic english (which arguably is just bastardized germanic)) given names but east/se asian family names particularly chinese (mandarin and cantonese), korean, and japanese, but nguyen is vietnamese.

Elster 512 could also be the template other lstr models use for neural patterning. So 2301 could be awakening 512's memories in addition to the gestalt's. If this really is ariane overwriting reality though that would be supported by the corruption which at multiple points is described as cancerous or tumors. Who knows reality doesn't exist. Given the nature of reality warping it's quite possible multiple contradicting events/truths exist at the same time. Or maybe 512's memories have overwritten 2301 just like they started to do with falke. So is the elster we play as any more elster than falkeñ

I wonder if there is any escape or end for... well the whole situation, reality warping and madness and all. The bodies imply leave and memory both loop. And elster dies in the same position in memory and promise so even if thematically it makes sense for the fulfillment of the promise (which maybe helped drive all this) ends this all, there's so confirmation. And with artifact you probably empowered red eye more than bringing reality back to normal so congrats things might have gotten worse? Don't try satanic eldritch horror summoning rituals at home kids.

the robots are autistic they need their special interests and special item or they'll lose it

I am in full on conspiracy mode. Only half the facts but connecting many dots.

[shepscapades]

Have you ever thought about making a playlist for the DBHAU characters? I'd be interested in what music they all would listen to or songs that relate to them.

WAOUGH thank you for reminding me-- there's actually. okay. okay so, there's actually... (checks writing on hand) 9 DBHC playlists currently LFKGJDLKFG

The way i like to organize playlists is, as i develop a character's lore/think about them more, i tend to put/look for songs that represent moments/feelings throughout their overall story in chronological order, rather than putting things on the playlist that are like, things the character would listen to or just general vibes. So each playlist is built to kinda... take you through their whole emotional journey :3 LFKJGSDFG although!! Usually, i will try to find a song i think is a good overall representation of the vibes, story, and character! Like, a title track :>

I think the only playlist that's currently closest to it's "finished" form or version is Etho's, which i've actually been meaning to share for ages LKFKLFJG but i keep getting this feeling that I would rather write up a quick explanation for what each song represents before I post it here, so i haven't gotten around to that yet :(

Though, there's a link to the Etho playlist in my stream discord LOL so a few people have access to it haha

Just for those who are curious, the dbhc playlists I currently have are:

Etho (Finished! Or like. i would have to find a PERFECT song to fit something new into the song lineup i think)

Tango (This one's pretty close overall... there are some gaps here and there but it's pretty long right now so i need to do some trimming too)

Jimmy (a short collection of vibes i haven't really organized yet)

Ranchers (I dont know if I'll do anything fancy with this playlist yet, it's kind of where i've been dumping songs that i cant quite fit on either jimmy or tangos playlists)

Xisuma (this one just kinda happened, but it's pretty fleshed out right now, especially for s8... not anywhere near finished but i've been listening to it nonstop lately. this man is destroying me rn)

Doc (also just kinda happened. i listen to this one a lot for the bops and vibes because most of the songs on this are kinda. ahem. yknow. he's kinda.)

Bdubs (this one is also kinda short! its got like 8 or 9 songs so i haven't really been focusing on it a lot-- it's kinda where i dump songs that are either hyper-specific for something from bdubs' pov or doesn't quite fit anyone else for dbhc)

Mumbo (this one is really short (5 songs) but i really like the songs on there so far hehehe, i haven't been focusing on it too much since i haven't been thinking about him too much lately but i love the vibes :])

[REDACTED]

[shadowblade8192]

well let it be on record that i was asked for this (insert image for ask that was send cause it got deleted somehow. the original asker has said they didnt do that so it was probably on tumblrs end. in the reblogs there will be a screenshot of the original ask)

so, most of this is gonna be out of chronological order because i cant remember the order i got a lot of these in, though i do remember the first two physicals. first one i got was pc steam version. most playtime in this one due to getting it first and still going back to it cause multiplayer is easy, and also free unlike consoles) gifted it to quite a lot of my steam friends.

then my grandad introduced me to gog (and gave me fallout 3 and nv) and i got the gog version of terraria (identical to steam except its drm free and doesnt contain any steamworks stuff like steam multiplayer (though you can direct ip connect) or steam achievements (there are ingame achievements) or steam cloud) we'll get back to this one later as i have more to say

so, onto the physical copies i will not be going in chronological order as i only remember the first two chronologically (also i will note i got the steam and gog versions before any physicals)

Nintendo Switch

so like 2 years ago now i got a switch for my birthday, first console ive ever owned (i was a pc girlie), whats the first game i get for it? Wrong! it was mario kart (thats why i wanted a switch). naturally when i got the switch it did not come with a game packed in so i ended up cycling a couple miles to go and buy mario kart. shortly after i got terraria cause hey i liked the game on pc itd be nice to play it on the go (my laptop was shit and also it stopped working properly shortly before i got my desktop pc the year before my switch). also the third game i got for it was breath of the wild which i thought was worth mentioning

Xbox 360

second one i ever got was the xbox 360. i found this while on holiday in a cex for £1.50 (same time i got botw for the switch, see i said it was worth mentioning), and thought itd be neat to start collecting terraria physical copies for all the consoles because well a £1.50 game is a good place to start. havent played it yet, only verified the disc works since i dont have an xbox 360. it was a couple months (and collected terraria copies) down the line before i decided "hey this collection is cool why dont i get the consoles to play them on and eventually 100% each of them" which lead me down buying broken consoles and repairing them which is how most consoles i own came into my possession. if theres anything notable about the repairs ill mention them alongside the game. you can clearly tell i have no plan on how this post is going im just rambling as i remember something anyways this is where things stop being chronological and im just gonna group similar consoles together, which leads us to

Xbox One

the xbox one version has two different box art variations. why do i have both despite only being able to use one at a time? because theres two of course! the later one (right) is what i got first before hunting for the second one i got (left) because the right one is more common in cex and the left more common on ebay for.... some reason i dont know. nothing much to note otherwise except 100%ing this one was a fucking pain in the arse i didnt actually do it until about 9 hours ago. id basically 100%ed it some months ago (the standard 115 ingame achievements as of 1.4.4.9), but of course the ps4 and xbox one versions dont just have the standard ingame achievements like steam has, nonono thats to easy. they have their own that are more relics from the old gen consoles (ps3/vita/xb360/wiiu), and are xbox live/psn achievements. most are unique but some are just ingame ones (but not all 115 for.... some reason). and now we get to the achievement i was never able to complete until today. pet collector. most of these were fine, easy, completed alongside the others. except pet collector. now it requires you to "get all the pets". this is thankfully untrue, it requires you to get all the pets that were in the game as of when that achievement was introduced. a few i could get easily by looking up "<pet name> seed xbox" and getting the ones from chests, the rest i just got naturally, except, the zephyr fish. random chance from fishing, if you have insane fishing power, the maximum possible in the game, it wont even hit 0.5% chance, and its lower with lower fishing power. thankful xbox one has rolling recording so i was able to quickly capture the moment that i caught it (i was checking the wiki to see if there was anything else i could do to get this fish easier, then returned to the game and caught it there and then): (there was a video here but im cutting it in the hopes that i can actually send the post. its on my blog somewhere). i had a much easier time with this achievement on ps4. speaking about playstation,

Playstation 3

ha you thought i was gonna talk about ps4 werent you, or not i dont know what youre thinking. anyways this one was another cheap one, i got the ps3 version [on the right] for about £2, checked the disc works, and i still dont have a ps3 so i havent played that yet. also found a japanese ps3 version for a couple quid that comes with inlays and all that. cant read a word but its cool to have

Playstation Vita

This was one of the more pricy versions, with it [the english version] being about £15, played on a modded vita that i bought. notable things about that vita, the rear touchpad came broken but it was just unplugged, also the previous owner didnt wipe it and their memory card was just, full of porn (no i wont share it i factory reset it all) japanese version i got from someone selling it from japan, cheaper than the english version which was pretty funny to me

Playstation 4

so. a lot here. first one i got was the (boxed) playstation hits version, which came with a... original print disc? someone somewhere has bought a ps4 original box with the playstation hits disc from a random cex in some city. maybe ill meet them some day. anyways, next i got the original print with original print disc, nothing really of note, then found out there was a newer print without playstation hits on it (this doesnt exist for xbox one i checked trust me), tracked one down and paid a surprisingly low price. it had the right disc. now the odd ones out of the ps4 lineup, the disc in the jewel case is a standalone playstation hits disc (which came as a disc i provided the case myself) because i wanted one since i got confirmation it existed after getting that middle box art variation with its own disc. now, unique thing here, its the usa version. the ps4 is region free with discs, so i could play it. but. different region versions are different applications with different save data and different achievements trackers. i have only played this one to test the disc works im not doing 102 hours all over again to 100% the american version (yeah it was about 102 hours i did on expert mode this time, plus two minutes that i went into a journey mode drunk world to get a kite since it wasnt windy at all on the main save). finally, the bonus collectors edition. this has the box ive shown in the image, plus in the plastic wrap its stealed in theres an original print of the box art in there too. inside the big box is the stickers, poster, and... drum roll please.... the terraria branded pickaxe 2gb usb-2.0 flash drive. its by itself on ebay for like £30 or more and i got this whole bundle for under £20. i do not want to break the seal just for a 2gb usb drive ill use once and never again (american one is cropped, wouldnt upload if it was separate and i cant retake the pic for reasons. i think theres an image limit? or limit for images on separate paragraphs?)

Wii U and 3DS

these were also on the more expensive side, £20 and £15 respectively. nothing much to note about the games themselves, except the wiiu version can be played with the wiiu gamepad or pro controller... and also the fuckign wii remote with nunchuck. this isnt on the wiki. if i knew how to edit the wiki page to add that control scheme in i would. discussion page on the wiki talking about it here and if anyone wants the full inputs so they can put it in PLEASE message me i just want it on the wiki. nothing much to note on the repairs for my wiiu, but the 3ds. well. lets start by the fact that i bought this during a college day when i didnt have a lecture, and one of my friends (coincidentally an ex) had their 3ds xl with them, so i asked if i could just check this game works and it did. played about 5 mins and didnt touch it again. then i bought a broken new 2ds xl off ebay. broken (i knew this) not fixable by me (i wasnt aware till i tried). big problem, it wouldnt boot and also the shoulder button switches broke off and my soldering iron is too big to fix that, and also it was homebrewed and i didnt have the original nand backup cause it wasnt mine. it rotted in my electronics drawer for about two and a half years (maybe three and a half). onto the new 3ds xl i got, the only problem with that was a nonfunctional sd card reader. hey wait a sec i have a 3ds sd card reader on an old broken 3ds (2ds xl) so i swapped those out and its worked fine since. homebrewed it and i have the nand backup for that. so this was early this year. now. lets go up to last month. ive just built a computer monitor using the lcd panel and top case from my old shit laptop, a controller board for the panel i got off aliexpress, a cardboard box to store the aforementioned controller board, the laptops charger (fit perfectly into the dc port on the controller board and also was the right voltage), and some speakers (theyre shit but they work), and thought "hey my electronics repair skills have improved, lets go back to that old new 2ds xl, i found a motherboard replacement. its also a special variant one i have so i could sell it if i wanted to make money". so i bought the motherboard (and a new volume slider cause i lost that little bit of plastic), put it all together, and it worked! it all booted up! and i was so caught up in the euphoria of all that i failed to notice that the top screen was cracked inside that i could only notice now that the rest of the console worked. back to aliexpress, new top screen arrived, some broken glass, a ripped ribbon cable (of the old top screen) and some superglue later and i have a perfectly functioning new 2ds xl. which i am not playing terraria on cause my new 3ds xl is better. but hey i can streetpass with myself now that was worth the £40 i spent on repairs

PC Collectors Edition

first one i got here was the one in the middle, backed up the bunny.exe that activates the collectors edition and then shelved it. that one and the second one i got (left) were both used and thus the steam keys were already used. the later one i got (right) is sealed (thats why i have two of the same box art). there are more i am trying to find, theres one box art variation where the orangey red info box is massive, and one where its not present at all (so yeah theres still more, theres also a japanese 3ds and wiiu version but theyre like £60 and £100 on ebay and im not spending that much on a videogame. im sure the fact im specifying videogame will not come up later) its good, if you can get a good deal on one and want the bunny pet id say its worth it, though since all the exe does is change 1 bit in the registry its easy enough to manually do it even if you dont have the physical collectors edition if you know what youre doing (and on linux and mac you have to do it manually as theres no linux/mac versions of the script) speaking of linux like i did in the brackets, theres a fun bug where mouse4 and mouse5 cant be assigned ingame and arent registered at all which sucks cause i used those to grapple and quick mount. naturally using the windows version via proton does fix this, but provides us with fun new bugs such as all key presses in text boxes are doubles so trying to type anything including world seeds eennddss uupp lliikkee tthhiiss and also steam overlay is just completely broken, though i did find a fna update script for the linux port that updates the engine allowing mouse4 and mouse5 to be used, i got it off github somewhere.

now thats all the game versions, lets move on to some other cool stuff. firstly (and no pic for this because the frame i got makes any pictures look complete pants but its sick as fuck in person) is the "heroes of terraria" poster from the terraria.shop site, also some pins from the same site which i keep on a cork board thing on my wall next to the transgender tardis dr who pin i got, plus a hoodie (the world of terraria one in green and gold) plus some tshirts (like 4 of them, one was a heroes of terraria on a tshirt). theyre cool but you know whats cooler?

Terraria Official Handbooks

if youre my age or a bit older (or a bit younger i dont know) you might remember those minecraft handbooks. well, around 2015 terraria got their own for version 1.3.0.8. these arent really wiki replacements, and i think theyre aware of that (hell they even link to the wiki, and being 2015 they link to the official gamepedia one (before fandom fucked it up) and the unofficial wikia one (which i think became fandom. fuck that website. use the wiki.gg wiki its the new official one)), theyre more "hey show this to someone to get them into the game like a parent or friend or other person". theyre pretty cool, i got the bundle of these for quite cheap in very good condition, i did give them all a read through and you can tell theyre 1.3.0 guides, theres a LOT thats changed. maybe after 1.4.5 relogic will commission more? id like that but then again we have a wiki thats very comprehensive so i doubt it and now one more thing what i would personally consider the pride of my collection the single item i am most proud to have yes, even more so than handbooks and sealed game copies let me show you:

Terraria OST Vinyl

this released in 2021 (and as a result only has the first four volumes, also unrelated to the time it doesnt have the otherworld ost, related to the time it means theres no deerclops and no aether, and no 11 or more tracks that are coming in 1.4.5 which will presumably become volume 5. will they do a reissue of the vinyl if that happens? my wallet hopes not) and is SO EXCEEDINGLY RARE i have only seen a handful of listings, going for £150/160. until i found one for about £100 so i didnt think i just clicked buy and id personally say it was worth it due to rarity and being also SEALED so i havent touched the seal on that (i also dont have a vinyl player and i ripped the .wav files from the game files (i also paid for the .mp3 files from steam) so i dont really need to use the vinyl), and i really wanna get it framed. honestly this is just the thing im most proud of having. anyways i said id get back to the pc version (i think) so now im gonna mention the gog version

GoG.com

gog.com is a website (woah) that sells exclusively drm-free games. tl;dr if you have downloaded the games backup installer (or installed the game from them its still drm free) they cannot do SHIT you OWN that thing you can do whatever you like. install it on one of your pcs. install it on every pc you own. steam wont let you use windows 7 now? thats cool i can use the gog offline backup installer on any os (that the game itself supports). why am i mentioning this? well i thought itd be cool to collect backup installers. downloading them whenever new versions drop (was only really doing it with windows until last year so i only downloaded 1.4.4.9v4 on other oses myself) but i only started playing on steam with 1.4.0.5, and gog with 1.4.1 or 1.4.2 i cant remember which, how can i get older versions now? i can only download the latest version via gog, plus patch exes to patch older versions to slightly less old versions given that i already have older versions, and even then i can only currently download patches for 1.4.4.8 and onwards (i was grabbing patches as i went). so i contacted gog support. they were able to give me linux, windows, and macos backup installers for 1.3.5.3 and 1.4.0.5, which was very cool and 1.3.5.3 was one of the two versions i most cared about since they were right before 1.X.0.0 updates. the other being 1.2.4.1, since gog terraria did release with that version as the first one it released with. even going back to support a year later going "hey i was allowed access to older ones before, do you have 1.2.4.1?" and they could only give me 1.3.5.3 and 1.4.0.5 (and the latest version direct from gog.com being 1.4.4.9v4). so began my hunt. eventually finding the gog version of 1.2.4.1 lying around on the internet archive (thank you internet archive youre a real one), alongside a couple other misc versions i didnt have. i also found a couple i had to torrent (i wish gog let me have them all so i didnt have to resort to pirating a game i paid for but media preservation is at the heart of piracy so thank you media preservers youre also real ones. that includes internet archive im thanking you twice), so bringing me to now where i have basically every 1.4.4.x on windows, a handful of 1.4.x.x on windows, and 1.4.4.9v4, 1.4.0.5, and 1.3.5.3 on all platforms, and 1.2.4.1 on windows (linux/mac didnt get native versions till the beta on 1.3.0.7 and then fully on 1.3.0.8) oh i also have the mobile version but theres nothing really interesting of note there. switch versions better portably (and steam deck too)

and thats my full collection basically. at some point im hoping to get the 2 collectors edition box arts i dont have and 2 japanese game versions i dont have, but waiting for listings to show up online/reasonable prices respectively. if youve made it to the end of this... well done. maybe in the future ill talk about my dr who dvd collection, or the turnip boy robs a bank wii version i have (its real only haters will say its fake). anyways post ended thats all i can think to talk about.

[hows-my-handwriting]

Hobie Brown Headcanons

long post ahead. will put as much as i can under the cut but i will have a.... loose table of contents.

and im not feeding you everything. i need more content to drip feed you later.

the inspo is driving me crazy but the hands are refusing to write.

the table: backstory food british animals

lmk if ppl want this to be split up into individual posts per category. cuz its l o n g

BACKSTORY:

Not based on the comics. purely my own attempt at writing his backstory and his particular villains.

Hobie's Doc Oc was a university professor pressured by Osborn's regime to produce weapons. Hobie had met the guy while crashing a university class, but nothing more than that. Octavius snapped and took the revolution to the extreme. he built a WMD and planned to use it on the city. Hobie talked octavius down and disarmed the weapon.

Hobie's lizard was his close friend and bandmate who got jealous over their lead singer's affections towards hobie. they were close friends until hobie started drifting away. curtis was bitter and never really forgave him. the final straw was when hobie returned in full, having just abandoned his spider suit. the band is back together but curtis still has hard feelings. he knew vaguely about hobie's connection with spiderman but thought that it was some kind of special deal or friendship which was just another nail in the coffin. he turns himself into the lizard and attacks hobie, demanding answers and refusing to listen.

the above is just an excuse to hurt hobie really bad >:3 i love my angst and my beating my muses up. i wanted to break his ribs.

electro was a civilian who just happened to get struck by lightning. he is the sole reason hobie has insulated all of his gear and one of the reasons all of his spikes can shoot excess electricity like one of those funky little electrode balls. hobie took one look at this guy and immediately got to work.

Kraven was a bounty hunter hired and possibly engineered by osborn and fisk to hunt down hobie. classic kraven activities. he tried to drown hobie in the thames. hobie managed to escape but couldn't breathe or eat properly for a week after the attack

hobie's ship was hauled from the local junkyard. It was originally just used as a figure head to lead the charge from the government locked dam blocking off water. it somehow survived so he uses it as his hq.

hobie is immune to his scorpion's venom after being stung so many times and stealing samples of it to build up an immunity. yes it hurt. yes it sucked. but it worked. (loosely inspired by a fanfic)

the above are not in chronological order. mostly.

FOOD:

Hobie's world doesn't have a lot of spices. it's a closed state unless importing 'important' materials like lumber, steel and other sciency stuff, food is a lower priority or just a restricted luxury. the spice trade has regressed to something like the 1600s where foreign spices are held by those in power purely as a status symbol. the common man might have access to salt, sugar and cream, but anything else- especially anything spicy- is a luxury item.

hobie would love spicy food. i just dont think he's gotten much exposure to it. day one out of e-138 he opened a bag of spicy chips in the cafeteria, touched one and exploded.

exotic/foreign fruits fall under this same category but for more legit reasons of travel and lack of safe storage. so for example: mangoes, oranges/citrus, kiwi, pomegranates.

boba would freak him the fuck out. he has no idea what those little jiggly things are and its only made worse when one of the kids inevitably shows him the hamster 'is it worth it' meme. he becomes scarred for life.

if you take too long to take a bite out of whatever you're holding and hobie is hungry, he will just lean over and take a bite out of it. sandwich? bitten. spaghetti? stolen off the fork. chocolate bar? wrapper and bar, gone.

his favorite flavor of cake is chocolate or caramel. sue me im projecting onto him

BRITISH

he holds out his pinky when holding cups. it's just an unconscious thing that turns conscious once someone calls it out. in which case he sticks it out even further

flips the police and the royal family off regularly with the one fingered or the two fingered version. will only respect the french for inventing the creative two fingered fuck you, but nothing else.

has a winter fit that is just like a pile of whatever sweaters he has and two scarves. and long socks that make the space in his tight boots even more tight. sometimes cuts off circulation to his feet.

loves going to pubs and just chatting with people. also loves picking fights with the drunk people. Particularly the irish. he thinks their accents are funny and has long arguments with them while they're both speaking absolute gibberish.

knows french but only the insults. has an arsenal of french insults he will just whip out of his back pocket and drop on someone's head.

not really a british thing but i bet he doesn't know how to ride a bike. he was a) too tall and b) not willing to get his entire skeleton rattled by riding over the cobbled streets of london.

wimpy's fan. (its like the british version of mcdonalds but less popular and less famous. according to my research).

ANIMALS

Hobie keeps pigeons. he built a little house when he was bored and was surprised to find three pigeons hiding from the rain underneath it the next day. he didn't really intend to keep them but they nested and he kept bringing them food and water. he did name the brown one hobie jr.

hobie has a cat. again, not really 'has' but rather 'it broke into his boat and wont leave'. he didn't name her because he can't think of a good one. for the longest time he had no idea she was living in his floorboards but later discovered a hole in the side of his boat and found a crawlspace just large enough for a kitten.

he is freaked out by snakes. not as in a fear of snakes. but rather in utter disbelief that they can be the size of a human person. he's read about and probably seen the average snake, about the size of an arm. but anything larger than that will make his jaw drop right off of his face

he did have a symbiote dog for a short time. the dog was badly hurt and the passive symbiote had merged with its body to try and help it. he offered it a place to stay and rest and it happily agreed. it followed him around for the short while they had together and one day went off on its own.

he still sees that dog around (affectionately named 'spider-mutt') and offers it head scratches or belly rubs but they always part ways sooner than later.

loves opossums. thinks they look funny.

part two? maybe....

might add more to this as my brain keeps turning.

[corvis-crimson]

Basic Writing Advice

Take everything said with a grain of salt because this is just what I do…not what everyone should do

I’d like to give writing advice to people as someone who has written stories since I could pick up a pencil. However, I’m realizing a lot of my advice may not work for everyone…

Despite this I will be posting this post anyway!

Make your rough draft good enough that spelling and grammar aside…you could feasibly send it out into the world! Then go back and fix things that need fixing!

The best way to know if something needs fixed is to have someone else read it! If they don’t understand what’s going on you need to elaborate more!

If you feel like you’re using too much detail or too many words try using bigger words in place of two to three smaller words!

Act out scenes in your book as you write them and be aware of how you do things! Watch how others do things and emulate that! Study people! It’s the only way to write movement well…

For that first draft focus only on getting it to sound good and flow well! Fix grammar the second time through!

Aim to write ten pages a day then get upset when you don’t do that! Guilt yourself into writing close to ten pages a day until your book is finished! You’ll be upset you keep not reaching your goal that you’ll be determined to reach the ten page mark and by the time you start reaching it your book is almost done! It’s a life hack to completing your book under your own nose!

Dont focus on one project by itself unless you think you can get it out in six months or less (what I did with my first ever book linked in my pinned post)

If you’re a reader like me don’t read any books while you’re writing (I know it’s hard but trust me I got way more done when I wasn’t reading) if you must read at least read something from a different genre!

Write in chronological order and make a bullet point list for your plot chapter by chapter if you must! You can go off path but so long as it you make it to the next bullet point you’re good!

Do not pigeon hole yourself into one genre!! You’ll get bored of it if you don’t challenge yourself!

Write for yourself and don’t be afraid to take inspiration from things! So long as you aren’t copying things word for word and so long as you aren’t stealing characters or plots ITS FINE! It’s great actually!! (Think of it this way…I am a HUGE zombie movie fan and just because there are already a lot of zombie movies out there in the world when a new one comes out I will definitely watch it! Not only will I watch it but I won’t care if it’s similar to another zombie movie I enjoyed!)

Get the words out of your head it doesn’t matter how! If writing scrawled words you can barely read across notebook paper gets them out then do it! Don’t let your story die!

If you let anything sit for over a year and it has less than five pages go ahead and re-write those pages! Start fresh from the beginning because you’ll never be in the mindset you were in when you first wrote it again!

If time was a social construct and the human body could withstand lack of sleep, water, and food…if locked in a cell with nothing else to do but write the ideal thing to do would be to push through and write the entire thing in one setting! Get that shit out of your head before it drives you insane! Since the human body does need sleep, water, and food I suggest writing as much as you physically can before stopping! The only reason I’ve ever finished a book was because I wrote the first twenty or so pages in one sitting!

Re-read your book until the thought of looking at it again gives you a headache! It’s the only way to catch all the mistakes…(side note: when combing through the interior of your book don’t make the mistake of slacking on your cover thinking you are now invincible…you’ll make a mistake)

As your book nears its final chapters go ahead and design the cover! Select a style and a theme to match your books contents! Amazon cover designer has great covers but I recommend taking a photo for your cover! (At a later date I will make a post about cover design etc)

Taking breaks is good but taking longer breaks is bad! Get some water, get some tea, some koolaid, a pitcher of lemonade?! Whatever floats your boat! Set it next to you and when you’re stuck pour a glass and have a drink! I call this “Drink and Think” and something about pouring the drink into the glass and taking a sip helps refresh my brain!