#i dont have a chronological order thought out to these
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for the whump game (under dialogue): 6 or 10 for Cerus? or 5 for Alexei!
"Please punish me."
cw: abuse, broken bones (mentioned)
Penumbra Masterlist
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He was almost afraid to breathe.
Pinned between an overturned cart and the unyielding stone of the mountain, unable to free himself with his shaking, useless arms, the only thing Cerus could do was cry for help and hope someone, anyone would answer.
Maybe he shouldn't have.
The men who came to stand around him, cold or impassive or outright gleeful looks on their faces, were not the sort who'd simply lift the thing and send him back to work. The metal lip dug into the soft flesh of his stomach, the thick siding painfully heavy on his legs, but the miners made no move to remove it.
Cerus willed himself not to panic, dredging up the humility for a single, feeble please that the men only laughed at.
"How'd such a thing happen?" one of them queried, arms folded across his chest.
"Shadow's just a shite miner," another replied in the same amused tone.
Cerus knew what had happened. Someone had jammed a rock in one of his cart's wheel wells, and he hadn't noticed until he'd started up the hill. From there, it was just a matter of poor luck, something he had no short supply of.
"Please," he tried again breathlessly. "I must… get back to work… the overseer… demands it." Bare pleas for mercy would do nothing for him, but reminding them why he was here, reminding them it was by order of the Council that he slaved away, might do the trick. And soon, he hoped. The weight of the cart was turning rapidly from discomfort to pain.
In response to his murmurs, one of the men, a broad fellow named Durragan that Cerus knew not to trust, leaned on the overturned cart.
Cerus let out a choked cry as the pressure on his abdomen seemed to double, crooked fingers clawing fruitlessly at the metal siding.
"Please— please—" he gasped, but the weight did not let up.
"What do you think, boys?" Durragan said, not taking his eyes off Cerus. "Shadow dropped a full parcel of coal and wants to be let off the hook. Should we be so kind?"
His question was answered with a chorus of nos and nays, and a smile spread across his face.
"There you have it. As I see the matter, you can either be punished for your carelessness, or you can stay there." He gave the cart a shake for emphasis, and Cerus nearly retched at the shifting weight.
"Punish me then," he wheezed out. If it was the quickest way to have it over with, he'd agree to their barbarism. Staying trapped here was not an option.
"What's that you say?" Durragan held a hand to his ear theatrically, his other arm pressing even more weight into the cart, until Cerus was writhing beneath it, his body looking for reprieve even while his mind knew there was none to be found.
"Punish me," he said again. Oh gods, what if his spine snapped before the man relented? Would the Healer be able to mend such a wound? What would they do with him if he couldn't be healed, if he couldn't walk?
"Please," he added, the word slipping out like a cry, and the weight lessened, just a little.
Durragan's attention was on his compatriots now. "Well lads? What should we do with him?"
"Break his legs," one said.
"Hang 'im by his ankles and burn the skin off his back," another piped up.
"Piss off, Jackie, we all know you don't have the stomach for that."
"Yeah? String him up and we'll see!"
Durragan held up a hand, and the men fell silent. "Healer's not in for another two days. If we kill him, Reacher'll have our heads, not to mention the Council."
"Why not let him choose then?" Jackie replied casually, and Durragan grinned at the notion.
"Good one, that is. What say you, shadow? What punishment do you want?"
Even struggling for breath, Cerus's mind raced as he tried to sort out the tamest path. This was meant to trap him. Anything could be deemed unsatisfactory, any word twisted to bring him more sorrow.
"Well?" The pressure on the cart increased again.
"A w-whipping," Cerus groaned out. It was the simplest thing he could think of that might satiate their bloodlust. He'd taken such wounds before, in the cells of what had been his own castle. The pain would be great, but the Healer would be in soon. No permanent damage, unlike what would happen if he left the miners to their creativity.
"What's that then? You want to be flogged?"
"Yes," Cerus said through clenched teeth.
"Then say it like you mean it," the big man sneered, putting what felt like his full weight on the cart and drawing a strangled gasp from Cerus.
"I want you to whip me," he managed to get out, but Durragan was still unsatisfied, rattling the cart and holding the pressure until tears were streaming down Cerus's face. He swore he felt the edge grinding on his vertebrae as he practically screamed,
"Whip me, whip me, please whip me!"
At last, his begging seemed to be enough for the man, and Durragan let up, nodding to one of the others to come and help before lifting the cart off Cerus.
He lay there for a long moment, gasping like a fish out of water, feeling like his stomach had been crushed. He didn't move when two miners went to his arms and roughly hauled him up, dragging him towards the tunnel's distant exit.
He wondered how many lashes he'd have to endure before they were satisfied, but that worry was distant now that the threat of a severed spine was gone.
Cerus had taken a whipping before. He'd doubtless take one again.
And maybe if he screamed loud enough, this time they'd stop before he was bled unconscious.
§•§•§
@whumpwillow @rabbitdrabbles @kixngiggles @honeycollectswhump @chiswhumpcorner @whatwhumpcomments , @dont-look-me-in-the-eye , @turn-the-tables-on-them , @pigeonwhumps , @itsmyworld23 , @andromeda-liske , @starlit-hopes-and-dreams , @haro-whumps , @kira-the-whump-enthusiast
#another day in the life of a miner :)#i dont have a chronological order thought out to these#ill figure that out later#penumbra: shadow king#villain whump#royal whumpee#forced to choose#tw abuse#forced labor#whump writing#begging#thank you anon! i do want to write the two others eventually as well
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Sometimes things bother me
#and i 100% dont say them out loud on the internet cause i dont wanna get crucified#but people distilling shit around chillchuck to just being “shotacon” pisses me off for reasons i know they dont intend#like i relate to chillchuck because im a disabled person#specifically a wheelchair user#ryoko kui did a perspective study of the party from chilchuck's perspective#and of where his eyeline is at on everyone's body#and i haven't felt more seen by anything in a long fucking time#like god chilchuck would understand how fucking awful it feels to be crammed in an elevator right at stomach and crotch height with everyone#and more than just that gut personal relation#half-foots like disabled people live shorter lives and its not clear if thats natural#or if its because they're seen as disposable#and the infantalization is so fucking textbook ableism#like yall thats a whole ass man#next people are gonna be saying its not okay to ship mithrun because he needs a carer#this is what people mean when they say shipping rots people's brains#it goes both ways#and it makes it impossible to really explore the complex topic of relationships in fiction#the portrayal of those relationships and how they interplay with the wider story#and you just flatten everything to Ship Good and Ship Bad or Shippable and Not Shippable#it makes it impossible to talk about actual problems in fan communities and point out actual dangerous behavior#because everyone's pointing fingers over shit without having proper discussions#and talking about characters like the#they're real people#while ignoring the things real people do do other real people#because they're treating people like characters#chilchuck is a blurry fucking line and because of that the devil is in the details#twitter ruined the internet with it's character limit by eliminating nuance#and all the algorithms eliminated context by shuffling shit out of chronological order#and this whole little mini rant is disjointed as fuck cause im doing it in tags#so i can only see half of my previous thought
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thinking about horror film au marauders.. (tw. lotta gore)
lily the nerdy, bossy character that comes out with a giant axe and brutally beats up the killer/s to the shock of every other character
peter is either the bargaining character that tries to bargain and give the killer/s what they want just as he's about to die. or the character secretly on the killer's side that's revealed at the end
definitely giving wolfstar the making out whilst a killer is in their house/car/woods
mary, dorcas, remus, and lily all turning to each other wondering which of them is gonna die first, when they realise they're basically in a horror film cause of the black character dying first trope (i watched the blackening yesterday and the tagline "we can't all die first" gave me this hc. very good film. highly recommend)
sirius is the resident horror film expert that tells them what the killer usually does next (im imagining someone dying and everyone is just screaming over the dying body and sirius is also screaming but then adds in "this is exactly like that scene in wrong turn!"
the screamers are probably mary, remus, and james. not a definite though. i can see it being other people.
marlene gets the most jump scare scenes and emmeline gets the most hearing creaking and footsteps
james is the best at fighting but absolutely hates blood. feel like there needs to be a scene where he's like punching a masked killer and is doing SO WELL. and he gets the killer on the ground and is about to pull the mask off when the killer pulls out a knife and stabs at his hands and chest and shit. and he just screams and backs away staring at his blood until he faints.
as marlene dies, she clutches dorcas' hand and whispers "the lesbians never get a happy ending. apart from fear street... why couldn’t this be like fear street?"
the final girl HAS to be mary. ofc.
#im very much a satire horror fan. in case you couldn’t tell from this.#gonna explain how everyone dies (other than mary) in the tags cause im having ideas now i thought i was finished#idk the order so this is random and not at all chronological#remus- is high as fuck. thinks sirius or james is pranking him and then gets stabbed or whatever#sirius- tries to out horror the killer. tips a bucket of fake blood on them. has a chainsaw and mask#has a bunch of recording devices with sounds he previously made. etc. but then his fucking phone goes off#and he gets so annoyed because thats such a rookie mistake. and he asks to cut and do a retake just before the killer kills him#marlene- kinda already said about her death. but feel like it's def outside like in the street and shes only with dorcas#i already said james' death#lily- feel like there's more than one killer and she manages to kill one. just to turn around and another to get her#dorcas- she gets VERY into it once marlene dies. definitely gets hits in if not killing some of the killers.#but they ultimately get stabbed a lot and they run to marlene's body whilst bleeding out instead of the hospital#and she dies in marlene's dead grasp.#emmeline doesn't get killed for a while. is bait in a plan to catch killer/s but the plan goes wrong and she gets pushed out a high window#i havent mentioned other characters but why not say their deaths.#regulus- he's made to be involved with like a scene in a library where they go to him to ask about some secret history of the town#and then is killed the next day but has s bunch of writings and pages of books around his room about the killers and hes solved it#but the killer burns it all before anyone gets there#pandora- kinda want her to the first death for some reason idk.. like it gets framed as a suicide but so many people dont believe it#and the killings go on#barty- sees the masked killer and like jokes around touching their mask and stuff. and then the killer just like. brings out an axe#and chops his head off#evan- dont know why but im imagining him driving and getting those spikes in the road to lure him out the car#also btw didn't mention peter's death cause im leaning towards him being secretly one of the killers#and gets killed by either lily or dorcas#was gonna say barty and evan could be killers then i realised i made them kill reg and pandora and cas so people would not like that#also no mary death obviously since shes the final girl. survivor ever <3 immortal <3#marauders era#marauders#tw. gore
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im finding that often when i stay up later than usual (like, until 3am instead of 1) my brain goes 'hey wanna think about hornblower again' and like. yes. but also ?? you still havent read commodore, you havent read or watched anything since late feb/early march, and you havent even really read any fanfic in that time bc you ""exhausted"" the specific sort of thing you like to read. what is FUELLING this???
#like i genuinely sat down at 3am this morning and thought at length about Maria Mason#i have many many thoughts about the way that relationship is written#bc how it changes depending on what order you read it in is interesting to me#in chronological order horatios a dick. and in fact the contrast between Atropos and Happy Return is almost startling#since in my reading Atropos was when Horatio was at his best as a husband and showing off that he could care#and the book ENDS with him making this clear statement of intent to love and care for Maria no matter what#and then you go to Happy Return and she's mentioned like 5 times throughout. one of which is literally#as hes making out with Barbara. like my god#but if you read PUBLICATION ORDER. then all the shittiness with Maria is with the foreknowledge that it doesnt work#that they arent a good fit and that she's dead. ykwim? the framing shifts#i dont think it really absolves horatio because he's a fucking asshole for that but like. yknow.#it was a very fun 40 minutes of procrastinating going to bed
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ss/mayo blogspot lore + frerard theory
hi I'm about to drop some insane lore that I don't think a lot of mcr fans/frerard theorists know about. this isn't discussed often so I figured I should write about it here before all the evidence is lost to time.
this is probably gonna be a long one so buckle in! i have gathered as much evidence here as possible but there's no way to be certain about anything. i'm trying to maintain as much journalistic integrity as i can throughout this post (also trying super hard not to insert my opinion too much) because i think a lot of this speaks for itself.
so i have a pretty significant frerard theory but i have to give a lot of backstory and documentation for it to fully make sense. this will not be in chronological order (to best suit the narrative) but i hope it makes sense
many people know about frank's F.T. Willz endeavors which have been proven as him in recent years. however, "ss" or "shitsubou shita" was another blog he had before this which is not widely known
around 2007, there was a major theory in the fandom that gerard and frank were running secret blogspot accounts where they'd post journals, poetry, etc. frank's account was iamthemodernprometheus.blogspot.com and gerard's supposed account was its-mayonaise.blogspot.com. both accounts are still up, though i'm not sure if any posts have since been deleted. this probably sounds crazy so i'll explain everything!
evidence for frank as SS/shitsubou-shita/iamthemodernprometheus
i strongly believe this was frank's personal blog, but you can come to your own conclusions based on this info
frank's supposed original blogspot handle was "shitsubou-shita." once fans realized this was his account, he deleted it pretty much immediately. you can read some fan discussion about the fall out from this in a comment thread here. this comment thread will be linked a few times in this post because most of the screenshots on this post originate from there.
apparently *frank* was posting some very personal thoughts/feelings on this blog that he did not want to be discovered. i'll go over some of the deleted posts in a minute, but first i need to give more a little more context.
at the same time the blog is found, someone comments "your fired" on a recent post. apparently some fans thought the comment looked strangely out of place, and it was one of the last comments left before the account's deletion, on one of the final posts made.
this will be relevant later on, and we'll get into the account's posts soon.
my theory is that someone on the "inside" could have found his personal blog and tried spooking him, which could have been the final straw for him. or, the account being deleted could be completely unrelated to the weird comment. all of this can be found here (same link i posted previously)
months after deleting their blog, shitsubou shita begins posting under a new url "iamthemodernprometheus" (but still under the pen name "shitsubou shita" or "ss" as fans called him)
in his new blog, and similarly to F.T. Willz years later, he still leaves plenty of crumbs for fans to figure out it's him. screenshot sources are below
latin heading: his page had a latin heading that when translated, reads "keep the faith"
bio on blogspot: "industry - chemicals", and "you dont stop playing cos you get old…you get old cos you stop playing" both sound suspiciously personal to frank
his url choice: "the modern prometheus" is the full title of mary shelley's frankenstein. frankenstein is a character that frank has always deeply resonated with due to his namesake, love of horror, and being born on halloween
spelling of wierd: SS and frank both spell "weird" as "wierd"
i think he enjoyed the mystery of having a secret online persona, which eventually led to the creation of F.T. Willz in 2008. it seems like wanted to leave just enough evidence for people to suspect it was him, but not enough to prove it.
here are some snippets of 2007 era discourse about the identity of "ss" and their deleted blog. you can find all of these comments and more context here. this was around the time gerard got married and fans felt like the dynamic on stage was different, and they were concerned about the future of the band. it's a LOT to go over so i would advise reading the comments if you want more perspective
on the next page, an anonymous comment is posted which fans immediately begin to speculate is SS (frank). again, if you click the link you can get way more context than i'm able to provide here.
this insinuates that SS frequented the comments on mayo's blog, which i don't think he would have done without believing/knowing mayo is gerard
there was a lot discussed in this thread including pretty solid evidence that frank/ss wrote the ancient and historic "eliza post"
if you are not aware of the eliza cuts drama, that's a totally different and equally as insane rabbit hole you'll have to research on your own
tldr; she is gerard's mentally unstable ex-fiance who he was engaged to very shortly before lindsey
gerard and eliza got engaged on may 22, 2007 (the last show of the black parade tour) according to this reddit comment.
the "eliza post" went up on june 4, 2007. here is the post in its entirety:
"Hi I felt I had to write to you guys to allay some of your fears regarding the rumours and speculation surrounding Gerard and Eliza and the future of the band. This is the only time I will ever post. I will not be able to respond to your comments or enter into discussion or debate on what I'm about to say. We are aware that this is one of the most popular message boards for MCR fans and we know you guys are the most dedicated and loyal fans in the world. It saddens me to see such division amongst the fans over one woman. If it's any consolation, you guys are not the only ones affected. She is merely tolerated by both band and crew. Believe me, nothing anyone can say will change his mind. She's been the cause of numerous conflicts and while we dont have to like it, we have to accept it, at least for the forseeable future. From day one this woman has had a hidden agenda - her manipulation knows no bounds. Some of you may find this difficult to believe but I assure you I have personally witnessed the two sides of this woman. Her so-called 'good deeds' are nothing more than PR exercises for his benefit. But he does not see what goes on behind closed doors. We have tried to draw his attention to her blatant self-promotion and diva demands. This is a prime example of love being blind. His feelings for her do run very deep. Her feelings for him, however, are questionable at best. Many people believe, including myself, that he is being used as nothing more than a stepping stone. It's disheartening to see someone you care about and have worked with for a very long time change as a person, becoming more detached and causing the group dynamic to change as a result. There have been conflicts and differences of opinions and compromises have had to be made She does not accompany the band on the European legs of the tour. Since being on this current European leg, he seems much happier which suggest she doesnt make him as happy as he thinks. Despite being asked more than once to remain discreet, she blatantly disregards his wish to keep his personal life private by continually fuelling the internet hype. The band has always been about the music and the fans. This will not change. MCR have never endorsed any type of clique as it encourages and promotes the kind of high school mentality that MCR have always fought against. Your continued support is appreciated and rest assured this woman will have no adverse affect on the band and the music. For obvious reasons I am remaining anonymous. Eliza, we know you trawl these message boards and you probably know who I am - but I'd like to see you try and prove it!!!"
it's clear that whoever wrote this had a very strong distaste for eliza and was deeply troubled by the idea of gerard marrying her. based on the language used and style of writing, i strongly believe frank wrote this post. i'll be circling back to this in a minute, because i have a little more to go over.
for more evidence that SS is frank, we can reference this reddit comment made just 9 months ago by someone heavily involved in the blogspot community at the time, kapunua. their username on this post is "ReallyKapu."
if you read through the comment links I provided earlier, you may see their name pop up. they are also mentioned by name on the "iamthemodernprometheus" blog. if you also search "kapunua mcr" on google, you can verify their involvement in the blogspot community at the time.
kapunua is also mentioned in its-mayonaise's post here (no screenshot provided for this one, its just a small mention)
there's also a screenshot of a different comment kapunua made about 9 years ago with similar information. i found the screenshot here.
evidence that "mayo" is gerard
as mentioned in the post above, mayo often used british english syntax in his posts. he also posted about some pretty juicy stuff including a blowjob poem (you can seek that out yourself)
using british english isn't out of the ordinary for gerard. he often used an accent on stage during this time. moreover, he is a writer who has written multiple characters with this type of accent, showing he has a certain appeciation for it. i think his persona for the "mayo" account could been a sort of character he put on to disguise his idenity.
if you decide to view mayo's blog, you'll see each post has nothing but comments from mcr fans exclusively. i find it very interesting that the writer of its-mayonaise never bothered to make a post saying "hey, btw, i'm not gerard" in the 4 years this blog was run for
we have somewhat less definitive evidence that gerard is mayo. however, it is clear that at the very least, they had to have been someone involved with MCR or their crew at the time.
mayo makes a post alluding to their identity here, which you can find in the first screenshot below. this section sounds a lot like something gerard would write:
"I have been asked to reveal myself to you. You all know me. I am whoever you want me to be, I am an artist, a poet, a singer, a motherfucker, and a contradiction, a mouthpiece, a friend, and an enemy, a brother, an informant, a whipping boy, a basket case, a queen, and a criminal...(credit to John Hughes.)"
there are THOUSANDS of comments, many of which speculate the identity of mayo on each of his blogspot posts. you should definitely do your own detective work and see what you think, because there is far too much info to go through here.
a frerard theory
as i previously mentioned, frank had deleted his original blog for shitsubou-shita in late september. however, prior to this, he made and then deleted some particularly turbulent and questionable posts
for context, the frerard fight happened on august 22, 2007, and gerard and lindsey got married on september 3, 2007 (just four months after gerard was engaged to eliza)
gerard and lindsey are married on the last night of the projekt revolution tour.
mcr takes a break for one month after this, where we can probably safely assume that freshly-married gerard and frank did not plan on seeing one another.
i think this was very troubling for frank for many different reasons. gerard had just freed himself of the eliza situation and here he was making the same mistake again. he was on the verge of losing his dearest friend yet again, and i believe that despite his best efforts, he could not get through to gerard.
obviously, gerard and lindsey are still married to this day. however, many fans might be aware of what happened between her and mikey. there's also a lot of other questionable information about lindsey circling the web, but that's a different story for another time.
weeks later, similarly to the eliza situation, shitsubou-shita makes and deletes the following posts on his original blog (this was prior to the creation of iamthemodernprometheus):
Friday, September 21, 2007 Abandon hope, all who enter here... What the fuck happened? Why didn't I see this coming? I made a point to keep out of it this time, but at what cost? I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place, it's a lose/lose situation. I've always been honest with you, shouldn't that work both ways? What's with the double standards? People are starting to notice. I'm not talking about kids, I'm talking about people in their mid 20's and 30's. People with life experience who can see the cracks starting to show. What am I supposed to say? I just dont have the answers. How can I reassure them when I need reassurance myself?
he says "i made a point to keep out of it this time" which seems like a reference to the situation with eliza i mentioned previously. he alludes to the idea that fans are beginning to notice the band's dynamic is not the same anymore. this was specifically around the time when "frerard" moments came to a pretty abrupt end.
he says "i've always been honest with you, shouldn't that work both ways?" which can be interpreted in a few different ways. he may feel deceived due to his best friend's sudden marriage. however, the intensity of the language used in this post shows he probably had some very intense feelings toward the situation.
it seems like the writer was having a considerably difficult time coping with these feelings. a day later, this post is made:
Saturday, September 22, 2007 Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Bullshit. I've always been a smart ass, even as a child, although my mom would prefer to use the term precocious. I've always had trouble keeping my mouth shut, I'm an open book, completely ingenuous - secrecy and circumvention are not my style. But then I've never experienced extreme paranoia. So I'm writing this blog. I know you will never read it, I wouldn't want you to. Not everything is about you. This blog is for ME, a perverse catharsis, I need this right now to preserve the small amount of sanity I have left. A blog fuelled by disappointment, frustration, confusion and dejection. I am not laying the blame at your door. The burden of blame is mine. I didn't speak up soon enough. I didn't want to rock the boat, I've been there before. I didn't want to fight or endure days of being given the silent treatment. Its not fair on the others. Why do you always make everyone feel like they have to take sides? If I had been a better friend, I would have stepped in regardless of the consequences. I acted selfishly because I didn't want to lose you, but ironically, I may have lost you anyway. I meant every word I said at the diner and although I didnt show it, your smirk and glib response hurt me more than you will ever know. I don't know who you are anymore. I cant seem to find the right words. Nothing I say seems to reach you. You are wrong. I DO care. I love you. I refuse to give up on you and I refuse to let you push me away. I am going to fight for our friendship, you aren't the only one with a stubborn streak. We are in this together, for the long haul, I promise. I want my friend back. I miss him.
it seems like whatever the writer is feeling toward the subject of this post goes beyond the boundaries of a typical friendship. the final paragraph says everything we need to know.
we can assume that based on this post's mention of meeting a diner, that frank and gerard likely met up during their month-long break to talk about the way things went down
lastly, i know there's at least one interview floating or blog post around where frank says he was a difficult teen and a pain in the ass as a kid, but i can't find it right now. if anyone has the link to that i would love to add it here, because i remember it sounding pretty similar to that first paragraph.
Sunday, September 23, 2007 Is the pen really mightier than the sword? And so you continue to blog, as do I. The difference is, I am not hurting anyone. I'm just trying to gain some perspective while you are publicly making a fool of yourself. Your words are hungrily devoured and dissected by the masses, you seem to revel in the chaos and controversy. At the moment your identity is pure speculation, but have you thought about the consequences if anyone was able to prove your identity? Not just for you, but for all of us? Have you lost your mind? How can you be so selfish? You have become a self obsessed megalomaniac. I know what I get out of writing my blogs - but what do you get out of writing yours? Do you even bother to read the comments? Some of those comments break my heart. These aren't just nameless, faceless strangers, these are real people with real lives and real feelings. These are the people that allowed us to bring our music into their lives. These are the people that we see on tour, the people that wait outside for hours in the cold and rain just to meet us, the people that write us letters and make us scrapbooks, the people who care enough to bake us cookies and brownies, the people that send us birthday cards and bizarre, crazy ass gifts, the people that have given us their love and support, the people that cheer us on, the people that made us. Why are you so hellbent on destroying not only yourself, but everyone who loves you? You wanna see how far down I can sink? Your mom called last night - and I lied to her. After everything she has done for us, I lied to her. How do you think that made me feel? Do you even care?
this last post, for me, solidifies the identities behind each blog. it is so clear through the details in this post. to me, it seems like frank was hurting so bad, and in such a vulnerable place, that he completely let his guard down and made this post.
the mcr lyric included "You wanna see how far down I can sink?" is undoubtedly mind-boggling and speaks volumes to how carelessly obvious frank was (maybe intentionally?) willing to be
there's so much to unpack in this post and i honestly can't even begin to wrap my head around it. i would love to hear anyone's opinion!
later in the post, it seems clear that he is referencing the iam-mayonaise blog and gerard's seemingly wreckless posting. but mostly, i think he was lashing out due to pain of betrayal after losing the closest person to him and someone he deeply loves not once, but twice.
again, it's hard to believe how obvious he was being here, but i really think it was a result of the pain/suffering he felt
if you scroll back up to the first screenshot of this post, you can circle back around to when he removed his entire profile after making this final post, eventually rebranding to "iamthemodernprometheus"
the its-mayonaise account makes this post on september 30, seemingly as a response. the title could apply to frank, who as we all know, was gerard's best friend and right-hand man. the rest of this post can be interpreted in many different ways, so you can make whatever you want out of it:
however, the last paragraph does give me pause... i would love to see/create a full analysis of this post, but i'm trying to stick to facts here so you can form your own judgement
after gerard's wedding and mcr's month long break, they play two shows in mexico (oct 4 & 7, 2007) and then the hoboken show takes place, where frank yells "lie to me" during i'm not okay and seems very low energy and unlike himself
i believe things gradually improved between them after this point, but i'm not sure if their connection was ever completely the same.
conclusion/my opinion
coupled with all of the other available evidence about gerard/frank's tumultuous friendship/relationship/situationship, i think this information strongly alludes to the idea that at the very least, frank had some very intense feelings for gerard that were not fully reciprocated. i would love to hear what anyone else's opinion is on this topic, because it definitely isn't discussed often
i think it's completely heartbreaking (especially with everything else we know) but i do think their incredible connection is a massive contributing factor to mcr's legacy
if you notice any inconsistencies in this post or have any questions, please send me a message! i want to keep this as consistent, comprehensible, and well-sourced as i can!
lastly please follow me if you liked this! i spent months researching and compiling sources for this post and i would so appreciate it <3
#frerard#my chemical romance#mcr#gerard way#frank iero#frerard theory#ss/mayo#ss mayo#shitsubou-shita#its-mayonaise
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i'm loving seeing you post more of your art!! out of curiosity, how long have you been drawing? is there anything specific you do to practice or do you just pick something and draw it? (i've been trying to learn to draw myself for the past year or so, and seeing your art more often has become somewhat of an inspiration for me!)
ive been doodling all my life! thought when i say "doodle" i mean "as an unmedicated youth i was unable to focus on a drawing for more than 45 minutes at a time"
here's some posts from an art blog i had in middle school, and the first year of highschool.
what most critically separates this art from the art ive been doing recently is that i NEVER used any refrence. ever. i looked at stuff to make sure i knew what it looked like, but the rest was always roughly estimated based on what i thought would look good (which was largely based on cartoons).
but i only ever started trying to "learn how to draw" over the past year. here's the thing: spending a bunch of hours practicing drawing cubes and cylinders is like. all you have to do to see yourself start improving in real time.
draw a bunch of cubes and cylinders, and learn how to make them look realistic in proportion to each other using references to guide you. practice drawing stuff like basic buildings, cans of soda, maybe a cake (3 short fat cylinders on top of each other) if you're feeling daring. then try to draw slightly more complicated shapes, like spheres and cones and stuff. layer these shapes on top of each other to make more complicated shapes. you're gettin the picture.
infuriatingly, basic shapes is like 40% of the "getting it to click" work done.
after than, move on to 30 second sketches of nude models using this site. yeah, only 30 seconds. it doesnt matter if it comes out looking like shit, the point is learning how to simplify complicated shapes down into their most basic lines. dont waste time erasing. dont waste time pressing ctrl-z. erasing is your enemy. you arent learning how to erase, you're learning how to draw. (you'll get your eraser back later).
do this hundreds of times. yeah, hundreds. put on a podcast or something. get in a voice call with your friends. but ya gotta practice this one. that's the next 20% of making it "click".
now, unfortunately, the last 40% is just a matter of slamming your head against the wall of art until things slowly start to look better and better. it's sort of like a chemical formula, in that the closer you get to 100% purity, the more and more difficult it becomes to distill it.
the key is to ALWAYS use reference. you cannot learn how to realistically draw something you've conjured from your mind if you cannot depict something that's right in front of you realistically.
im currently in this valley, as most artists are. in fact i dont think it's possible to make art "click" in your mind 100%, but it sure is fun to inch closer and closer!
below is a bunch of art in chronological order from april to now. you'll see that it's not really a straight road of getting better and better, but you'll see my lines slowly getting more confident and details becoming more clearly defined!
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I am not immune to Usha/ G13posting, actually. In fact, i have lots of thoughts. About it, and it's that @grovylelover brought up the dissonance between the G13 that is being portrayed and presented vs. How G13's actions and thoughts show him to truly be.
LIKE. If we lay out EVERYTHING we know about him so far in as chronological of an order as It essentially goes:
- 8 months pre-canon something happens to the hive where G13 gets captured and taken in by the government
- At some points, G13 and Johnny are both 'hired' at the same time to work for the shadow falcons. Both having someone that is clear they care about being used as blackmail (Lucy for Johnny and Slicer for G13)
- biggest clue into his thoughts is in his comments on Slicer. The fact that. Usha, even as shes being erased catches onto the fact that theres a part of G13's thoguhts on Slicer that he isnt touching upon. Many thoughts.
I dont doubt that. G13's been some level of hardass bastard by nature of the world he lives in. But there's a clear level of empathy and care that he does have for his group. So imagine him when hes being forced to upload an extremely dangerous file, only for a 100 year old woman to come crashing into and taking over his body and he's helpless to do anything because what this means is 2 things:
1. This old woman fucking up the shadow falcon protocol is going to put slicer in danger
2. You've just realized that this world isn't even real to begin with.
Like. That's a LOT to handle on top of all the issues he's already having to deal with! A LOT of his agressive behavior comes off both as a front that hes always had by nature of his situation of being used by the government, coupled with him having to grapple with the fact that hes a fictional character in a fictional movie thats just going to rewind and force them do the same choices again and again and again. And if he remains aware of this fact, then that's torture, and that could make ANYONE bitter
#dimension 20#never stop blowing up#nsbu spoilers#anyway i WAS on the money he got familia beamed (threat)#d20 nsbu#usha rao#g13#had to write this one out NOW at 12 in the morning or i WOULD explode actually
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"Can't sleep?" König x Gender-neutral Reader
Word count: 3704
Having flashbacks about the battlefield and unable to fall asleep after an exceptionally draining mission, you go seek the comfort of your Colonel in the middle of the night.
*Slow burn
*ANGST!!💔... dw it gets wholesome at the end i promise ❤️
*Thanj you to Azzy!! (My No.1 Fan...🥹🫂💘) for this request !!!🙋🏼♀️💫💞💞✨Love u too🫶💕,, I kind of 🥺slightly🥺 maube a littke bit🥺🥺🥺went off prompt and König isnt affected by the mission per se BUT i have fulfilled the CUDDLING part!!! ☺️☺️pls dont show up to my fhome with pitchforks and torches im sry it just sorta happened ok😱
Also i rhink i have dementia bc I thought someone else rqsted König comfortinf rreader in a storm???😰😰Turns out nobody did so maybe i hallucinated it or smtj idk🤷🏼♀️Anyways I thought to merge these two ideas together so lmk what u think abt this lil (by "lil" i mean WAY too long🤪) drabble🙏💕
*Reader is pining for König
*Events loosely take place in the KönigxKing (as in, reader's call-sign is "King" storyline) mini-series. This serves as a slight backstory for King (reader). Again, this is by no means in any chronological order in relation to the series, so this can also be read as stand-alone! :)
*THANK YOU FOR 100+ FOLLOWERS!!!!!! 🥳🎉🎊✨🎇💖I SWEAR ONE IT LITERALLT FEELS LIKE MID-AUGUST WHEN I HAD LIKE 7 WHERE DID U ALL COME FEOM??????😰😰💘 IT MEANS SO MUCH FOR ME LIKE I CANR STRESS THIS ENOIGH BC IM SO HAPPG U GUYS THINK MEWORTHY ENOIGH OF YOUR PRECIOUS FOLLOW AND WANT TO READ MY WACK WORKS!!!!!!🤧🤧💖💖 LIKE??????? 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹THANK U THABK YOU RHABK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🫶🥰🥰💖💖💖❤️💞💞💕💖💕💕💞
...
You couldn't sleep.
It was raining relentlessly outside, the pitter-patter of water droplets hitting your window. Storm clouds boomed loudly outside, and despite the blinds being pulled tightly shut, lightning occasionally flashed through the cracks, elongated shadows of buildings forming on the walls.
Counting down the seconds until you'd hear the rumbling thunder, it would only be a few kilometres away, and you'd shudder at the sound, shivering.
While tossing and turning in bed, you had kicked off your covers and were staring at the ceiling, still wide awake. Normally, a storm like this would be like a lullaby to your ears, yet now it did nothing in helping lull you to sleep.
Even if you wanted to sleep, how could you when those corpses haunted your nightmares?
Laying in bed, your mind replayed the same scenes like a movie reel, the same screams like a broken record:
Lifeless, unblinking eyes with mouths agape and an expression of fear permanently engraved on their pale faces; flies swarming in hordes to harvest the soft tissues of the irises and tongue, eating the human mush; limbs contorted in unnatural positions, arms and legs crushed by the force of detonated mines, bones broken under the weight.
Rumbling roaring of machine guns and the deafening explosions from hand grenades meant that the high-pitched ringing would drown out everybody's yelling, muffle all noise from your surroundings, and you'd only be pulled out of your daze when you'd find yourself stumbling on unstable ground, on bricks and cheap concrete that had all crumbled.
Bodies would drop so fast it'd take at least seconds for you to register whether it had been an enemy or an ally.
You'd pull the trigger, but seeing a bullet go through someone's forehead and the exaggerated shock stamped on their face — a permanent expression in their final seconds remaining forever in death — left you wondering why you would ever sign up willingly to do this.
Disorientated, you'd struggle to pull yourself together, would enter far too many close calls for a soldier to count, and would only get a grip once you saw a familiar face, a reminder that you weren't alone in the warzone.
Even now, the sonorous sound kept echoing in your head, and, if you listened closely, it resembled hundreds of hoarse shouts, so many people screaming at once in collective agony.
You flinched as a bolt of lightning suddenly struck the sky.
Sparing an absentminded glance at your digital alarm clock, your eyes widened slightly at the time: 1:56am.
Damn... you thought. ...it's that late already?
Drills would begin at 7 o'clock, and you had to have woken up at 6 to brush your teeth, get dressed, eat, and mentally prepare yourself for the day, so you kissed a good night's sleep goodbye, and accepted the telling off from your superiors the following morning for under-performing.
...Still, how could you sleep after what you had experienced? What you experienced and would continue experiencing?
Accepting high-pressure missions and a demanding workload once you had enlisted, you thought that your ability to keep calm under pressure and stay composed would mean that you would have been unaffected by the shooting by now, and be taking everything in your stride. Calm, composed, and unaffected, is what you had thought you'd be. Surely you'd be able capable enough to cope with it all?
Yet, you weren't any of those things. Never getting used to the stress that would persist even while on supposedly "low-intensity" extractions. You'd always be on edge, always recoiling at hands that would reach over to tap your back as encouragement or hold your shoulder in reassurance on base.
You believed you could never familiarise yourself with the panic and unpredictability of missions and being hyper-aware of something, anything, everything going wrong, with the adrenaline that would course through your body and take over your senses in times of fight or flight, with the nerves that would keep you on edge hours after landing safely on base.
But, most of all, with the nights you'd lay in bed, unable to fall asleep: nights like these, when every time you closed your eyes, you saw the eyes of dying comrades; when every time you walked along the corridors, imagined yourself diving across the floor and felt shattered shrapnel breaking under your feet; when every time you sat in an empty room, heard ear-piercing blasts and the ricochet of discarded shells just missing your head.
Whereas the other operators seemed to be completed unmoved by any of their deployments and would shrug their shoulders off of the events, the anxiety for you lingered, trauma deep within your soul consuming you whole.
How could you ever get over the fact that you were shooting real people? Losing real soldiers?
...Losing yourself along the way?
All this work took a toll on your psyche, but comparing yourself to the other soldiers made you feel like such a coward, and second-guess ever enlisting in the first place.
...Well, you did so because it had been your only option all things considered, but looking back on it, you thought that maybe it would have been better if you hadn't chosen anything at all.
Accepted the grave nature of your failures in life, the same life that would have had inevitably ended with you pre-maturely in a grave.
After all, you had no job prospects to look forward to, no dreams to strive for, no aspirations to achieve.
Failing your school exams time and time again until you had finally achieved a result that was good enough didn't earn you any security, as you weren't exactly employable with grades you had just barely managed to claw to even pass.
Really, it was hopeless. You were hopeless.
To say your family was disappointed in you would have been an understatement. Out of three children, you were labelled the disappointment child, the underachiever and failure.
Your two siblings worked as a lawyer and an engineer respectively, while you had never even been able to grasp the basics in education, never spoke with your teachers of anything other than the worrying results of your exams, never came home to share a thing with your parents you had accomplished with a smile of pride stretched on your young face like your siblings did.
Never. Because you weren't ever good enough.
At the dinner table, your siblings boasted of promotions and of revolutionary research, of trials and of successes, of their brilliant breakthroughs, as you sat on the side of the table, listening from the sidelines, excluded from all of the grandeur that you couldn't relate to.
Still, it was always better to keep your mouth shut than to make a dent in the conversation, further embarass yourself and prove how lowly you were, than to have so many pairs of pitying eyes talking down on you in patronising tones, of the subtle condolences from your parents and their regret with triumphant smirks and condescending attitude from your siblings.
In a last ditch effort to make your parents proud, you made the decision of joining the military. You were young and impressionable, under the impression that your parents would finally be impressed.
...Of course, they weren't. In fact, your decision made them even more disappointed, shaking their heads sympathetically with strained smiles stretched on their lips.
Maybe that was the reason you couldn't handle the pressure of the military, you thought. You were weak, incompetent. Pathetic.
Although no one told you explicitly or made you feel that way directly, somehow, you always had felt inferior. Somehow, you felt that no matter what you did, how much you did, how well you thought you did, you wouldn't ever come close to the others's level.
That, despite your effort and dedication, you would never be good enough. Would always be inferior no matter what, because you always had been and would always be so.
...Your Colonel never made you feel that way, though, and you never quite understood why.
After all, your interactions were few-far-and-inbetween. It made you wonder what made you feel this way, and what spark ignited the warmth you'd feel when he was around.
Although a man of few words, the words that he did say to you would matter, though. His praise, his acknowledgement, his always being there made you want to keep going and prove your worth to him.
It started off as sporadic encouragement:
Your skin glistening with sweat, an accented voice would say "Gute Arbeit," over your crumpled body on the gym mat.
Offering you a gloved hand, you grasped it gratefully, and he pulled your tired body with ease. "Good job, King."
A lopsided smile from you as you'd wipe the sweat from your forehead and brows after sparring with someone else, limp limbs barely keeping you standing. His eyes were betrayed no emotion under his veil, yet a thin-lipped grin was behind it.
"Thank— you— sir!" You'd manage to breathe out, still panting for breath. "I did— my best, but— I didn't win."
"That does not matter," he'd say, speaking in a tone you couldn't quite recognize. "Very good job. Keep it going. Soon, you'll be able to pin even me down."
You'd laugh weakly at his words, yet would immediately feel a surge of motivation to keep working hard, and would train up to the point of exhaustion behind closed doors. Thinking you'd be alone, you'd punch a dufflebag with grunts of effort, missing the tall silhouette observing you with crossed arms in the corner, satisfied.
Then, those became casual greetings;
"Guten Morgen, soldier. Nice day, ja?"
Turning around, you'd see your Colonel walking towards you, frame visible even from a distance.
You smile broadly, eyes crinkling up in genuine joy, before you caught yourself and coughed. "Y-yeah!"
"Always a nice day whenever you're around, sir," you'd tease, playfully winking at him as he approached you, yet you were yet to master it without blinking both eyes.
He'd chuckle heartily, flattered, then shook his head to hide how his face flushed under his veil, and held up a hand.
"Thank Gott I have you here. My day would have been ruined."
"Have a good day, sir!" You'd call after him brightly, and he'd turn around for a final time with a two-fingered salute. Strange, since he was your superior, not the other way around, but you shrugged this off as a friendly gesture.
Until it developed into a sort of mutual connection.
In your eyes, at least.
You didn't want to assume that you two were friends, as the man was way out of your league. Strong, muscular, and a disciplined soldier — a Colonel, no less — a man of influence.
Besides, he, conversing with the only-recently-recruit-turned-soldier that was the slowest to understand a joke, did not comprehend complicated terms, and was the least bright out of the entire faction was not something you wanted him to be associated as, didn't want to tarnish his reputation.
You reasoned that you didn't want to bring down the Colonel down to your low level, so you kept your relationship as just that; associates. Aquaintances. Nothing more, out of respect for your Colonel.
Little did you know, the Colonel had developed a soft spot for you.
It seemed as though the storm had gotten worse, as the rain was unrelenting, and the tapping on the glass increased with force. Booming thunderclouds made your room shake.
A sigh as you turned to your side again. 2:07am.
Your thoughts moved back to your Colonel, and you started missing him, longing for him. The warmth that radiated off him made you wish he'd take you in his arms, hold you close to his chest, and you suddenly felt so cold. So lonely and cold.
Maybe it was childish of you to be feeling this way — he was your superior, after all, and you had no reason to be so attached — yet your daily encounters made you gain feelings for the man. Made you feel things when he was around.
Somehow, he brought you security. Made you feel protected. Safe. Like you could always count on him for having your back.
Made you forget that you were so useless, and was the reason for the fuzzyness within your chest, the buzzing feeling you'd feel as you'd be grinning from ear to ear after speaking to him.
Made you feel like you weren't pathetic. Weren't a wasted wishing star. Instead, you were appreciated, seen, even.
You wanted to see him. You wanted to be with him.
...Would he want you, though?
No. Of course he wouldn't. You weren't good enough.
A deep sigh. 2:15, the digital alarm clock displayed.
...What if he actually did want you? Not even as a partner, but just to be around him? Breathe the same air as him? You thought you weren't worthy of his time, but maybe, just maybe he wouldn't see it as such a waste.
Another crash of lightning brought you to your senses.
Finally making up your mind, you huffed in exertion as you pushed yourself off your stiff mattress, not bothering to organize the mess of blankets on the floor.
Walking with certainty, before you realised it, you were at König's bedroom door. Standing behind the door, hand hesitatingly reaching for the handle, you bit your lip, confidence wavering.
Should you really go through with this right now? What if he was asleep at that moment and all you'd do is disrupt his slumber? It wouldn't be fair of you to disturb him so late in the night, especially when he had so many responsibilities.
Still, you inhaled deeply, and, as quietly as you could, knocked twice.
You almost jumped out of your skin at the familiar accented voice of your Colonel.
"Come in," he said hoarsely. His tone was almost warm, inviting, yet you shook your head at the idea, and pulled the handle.
Entering inside, you slowly closed the door behind you. When you turned around, König was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees, seemingly deep in thought. Wearing a tank top and cargo pants, his head was hung low, his veil hanging loosely over his head.
The blinds were drawn open to reveal the sky dominated by darkness, the grey curtain of monochrome on the nearest buildings cast down by the clouds, the raindrops that remained on the windows and the rhythmic echoes against the pavement as they dropped in syncopation.
The sight, his presence, were both so... relaxing. In a way, your anxiety was relieved by the tranquility of the scene, and it made you forget the internal turnoil you had been going through for the past few hours, made the tension in your body fade.
"Ah, King," his arms dropped to his sides and he raised his head to meet your eyes in the dark. "I had a feeling that it would be you."
You fidgeted nervously, not knowing what to do.
"Bitte, schön," he said, patting the empty space beside him on the mattress. "Please, sit down. I insist."
Slowly lowering yourself to his side, you sat at a reasonable distance away from him. With the both of you sat down, the size difference was still very noticable. His height made him hunch over you, and one of his thighs was like the two of yours combined.
So nervous, you didn't even notice how his back slumped so you'd be both at a similar level.
He cleared his throat. "What brings you here so late in the night?"
An awkward tug of your t-shirt collar.
"Can't sleep," you stated simply.
"I see." He was quiet for a few moments. Then: "And you decided that my room was the place to go?"
Your face heated up, and you averted your gaze. "Well, sir, it's j-ju—"
"—Nein," he cut you off, holding up a hand to stop you. "I have told you so many times not to call me that. Call me König."
"But— but you're my superior," you gasped, mouth agape. "You deserve to be addressed with respect! I couldn't possibly—"
The protest died on your lips again as the man shook his head, the loose material of his veil following his movements. "Nein. None of that matters. I want you to call me by my first name."
A heavy silence lingered over the two of you, words left unsaid by you both.
"So," König prompted, "what brings you here, King?"
Pausing to think over a pretence, the best you could come up with was: "The storm scared me."
"Ja?" Even with the fabric covering his face, you could almost see the skeptical smirk on his lips.
"A soldier like you afraid of loud clouds? Some rain?" He chuckled.
"Really, I'd have thought you better than that, King." If you didn't know him well enough, you'd have thought he was mocking you, yet despite the sarcasm his eyes held a genuine concern for you.
An bashful laugh escaped you as you rubbed your arm, nails slightly digging into your skin.
"Okay, tell me the truth, King," Leaning forward, his tone became serious. "I know for certain you aren't scared."
He searched for your eyes, yet you avoided his gaze.
"Something is troubling you. Is that it?" He cocked his head to the side, fabric falling loosely over his shoulder. "You can tell me, King. I am your superior, you know. You should tell me these things."
"Well... it's j-just—"
You bit your lip, willing the tears to stay in your eyes.
Don't cry. Don't you dare cry.
König watched you, patiently waiting for you to continue.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, vulnerability showing in your eyes. "—This recent mission, it was— it was really, really difficult. And I just..."
König shuffled towards you until your knees were almost touching, watching you intently. As your body trembled, a hand hovered in uncertainty by your shoulder.
Sniffling, you wiped the wetness on your face with your arm, voice breaking.
"I-I just think that I'm not strong. That I'm... weak. Not— not good enough to be working with people that are so much better. So much stronger—"
Your breath hitched in your throat, voice coming out in a broken sob. "—I-I mean— I'm so pathetic. I shouldn't be so... weak. I should — I should be better. Wh-why—"
Tears flowed freely down your face. "—Why can't I be better, König? Why am I so— so useless?"
Without saying anything, König wrapped his strong arms around your body and pulled you against his chest, pulled you close so you could let it all out. For a few moments, he let you cry, ever-so-gently stroking the back of your head, fingers running through your hair. Weeping into his chest, his steady breathing soothed you.
Once you recovered enough from your emotions, you pulled away, downcast. Face red and blotchy with tears, eyes puffy and pink from crying, lips quivering and voice hoarse, you felt so pathetic. So, so pathetic.
"F-fuck, s-si— König—" Trembling. "I'm so so sorry. I'm too emotional, please, I'm sor—"
"Nein." His tone was soft, yet firm. Definitive. "You have nothing to apologise for, King."
Both hands cupped the sides of your face, tentatively tilting your face upwards. His expression was forlorn, and you felt tears brimming in your eyelids again.
"...You're not weak. You're not pathetic. You're not useless. I see you always trying so hard, King, always giving it your all..."
He paused for a few moments, deliberating over how best to put his thoughts into words. "...Maybe... maybe your best isn't the best out of anyone's bests, but it's the effort that counts." He rubbed the back of his neck, then let out a mono-syllabic laugh. "Scheiße, did that make sense? Sorry— I'm not good with words—"
You glanced away. "—Hey," his hand reached to hold to side of your face. "Look at me, King."
"You're not weak, not pathetic, not useless," he repeated, voice wavering.
"You're none of those. You're better than you think you are. Your inner strength," a finger pointed at your chest, "your heart, it's so full of goodness. So full of so many good things that don't define you, but instead changed you for the better."
"Maybe... maybe you aren't the aren't the best, haven't been the best, or never will be the best, but it's not your fault. You try so hard, and the odds... the odds are stacked against you. And, sometimes... sometimes it's okay to not be the best. You don't have to be fearless, the strongest, perfect. You can just be... you."
His eyes were pleading in the dark. "Please don't doubt yourself. You're so— so much better than you imagine."
A shaky breath. "So much stronger than you tell yourself. I can promise you, you are your own person. Other people's successes don't define you."
König turned around to glance at his alarm. 2:36.
When he turned back, your face had slowly regained the colour on your cheeks, eyes sparkled, chest rose and fall at a steady pace. You said nothing, yet König knew you listened to every one of his words.
"Looks like it's too late for you to fall asleep in your own room," he whispered, gently caressing your face. "Stay here with me, King."
Eyes immediately widening in surprise, you were about to protest. "B-but— I couldn't possibly, König—"
That protest died on your lips as König's arms engulfed you again, and brought you down against his mattress so you were laying on his chest. Cocooned like a protective blanket over you, you didn't need him to say anything more. You felt so... safe. Loved.
The storm outside seemed to calm down, and lightning no longer crashed against the window. Rain faltered, and some clouds were separating in the darkness of the sky.
Before you knew it, your eyelids became heavy with drowsiness, feeling a wave of calm wash over you, cleansing away your sorrows.
Just before you fell asleep, you heard König say something in German, barely above a whisper, but you did not understand:
"Schlaf gut Schatz. Ich liebe dich."
...
I don't know who needed to hear that, or if anyone even did, but I stand by the words I wrote. Although you are reading this, and are likely a stranger, and I'll never face you in real life, I want you to know that you *are* good enough. And if it takes a person on the internet using a fictional character to tell you so, then so be it. You are still valid. 🫂
...
Note: i rhink some of the ppl that read my previous fics will be able to tell that i went tryhard mode on this one 💀💀
Its mostly bc im back in school and were going over all the stupid fancy shmancy literative devices and figurstive language (god why cant u call it literallt anything else i swear why does it have ro be so unnecessarily overcomplicated just call it sentence structures or writing techniques istg.man😭)so i unconsciously chanelled all of thise boring technicalities into this 😬
With me writing as a hobby you'd think I'd have the highest grades in English? No💔I wish LMAO
I NOW HAVE 130+ FOLLOWERS!!! Which is unbelievable if u wsk me bc etf why wre eo mwnt people following me i don't deserve this qt ALL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU ALL 🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
I still remember when @puff0o0⭐ began their self-aware au with König and Ghost qnd ive qlways veen cheerint for her from the sidelines ☺️☺️come to find out shes been mentioning ME in THEIR podts and writing on their blofs thwt my CoD blog is good and i.????😭😭😭cant????????😭😭😭😭😭 Literally -99999 damage and an ARROW 🏹 STRAIGHT thru the HEART 💘🥹 I LOVE U B (platonically ofc dw)😽💕💓💓❤️💞💞💕💞💕💞💞💞💕
#aking10592_ ≛彡#könig#konig#könig cod#konig cod#könig call of duty#konig call of duty#könig mw2#konig mw2#könig mwii#konig mwii#könig modern warfare#konig modern warfare#könig x you#konig x you#könig x reader#konig x reader#könig x fem reader#konig x female reader#könig x male reader#konig x male reader#könig x gender neutral reader#könig x gn reader#konig x gn!reader#könig fanfiction#konig fanfiction#cod fanfiction#könig x king
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PT 2 of my last post bcs I just had a thought! OH THIS IS PURELY HYPOTHETICAL BTW, I DONT RLLY BELIEVE ANY OF THIS HAPPEND
I’m going to explain this in step-by-step chronological order bcs I can’t figure out how to organize it any other way.
Side note: Rose is the culprit in this hypothetical situation
1: whit was the one who overheard Arei/Eden’s conversation
2: Whit saw the culprit (accidentally???) kill Arei
3: Whit decides to help the killer for some reason. Maybe he felt bad and wanted to give the killer a fighting chance or was being blackmailed, I mean Rose *did* have his secret (personally I think the first one is more likely, CRAZY, but more likely)
4: they both dragged the body to the playground(explains scruff/drag marks on floor) and made the crime scene look all fucked up and complicated. Whit could’ve gotten the rope from storage bcs he’d know it’d be in here(if my memory serves correctly, he was there when Arei was fighting monotv over it)
5: whit forged the letter and tore it afterwards, told Rose to knock over the trash can to find it so it’d make her look less suspicious. This would explain why it was in that particular trash can, bcs why wouldn’t the culprit hide it somewhere less obvious?
And yeah BOOM. Hypothetical situation done! Again idk WHY Whit would be the killer’s accomplice but again again super super hypothetical 💪🏾 one of the many problems with this hypothetical would be the amount of time they would have to do all this. But yea dunno
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#this was fun to think about#drdt fanart#fanganronpa#rose lacroix#whit young
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MY THOUGHTS ON THE WISDOM SAGA ⌛️
USUALLY, I PUT THIS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL THERE IS NO WAY ATHENA JUST DIED. I REFUSE IT HOW DARE ZEUS SHE WAS MY FAVORITE WHAT THE HELL. (That was me last night) OKAY SO I LOVE MICO’S VOICE ITS SO ADORABLE AND IN THE ANIMATIC WE GET TO SEE ARGOS! I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN SAID BEFORE BUT I LOVE THE FACT THAT WHEN TELEMACHUS SOMEONE SEND ME A SIGN WE HEAR ATHENA’S MOTIF. ALSO ANTINOUS CAN MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT IF HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT PENELOPE LIKE THAT. DONT YOU DARE DISRESPECT MY GIRL. ALSO WE FINALLY GET TO HEAR THE “Whatchu gonna do about it champ?” AND ITS SO GOOD. ALSO THE FACT THAT TELEMACHUS SAYS “IF I FIGHT THIS MONSTER IS IT YOU I’LL FIND” BECAUSE HIM AND ODYSSEUS GET REUNITED WHEN THEY ARE SLAUGHTERING THE SUITORS AND BECAUSE ODYSSEUS HAS BECOME THE MONSTER THAT TELEMACHUS WILL FIND. I LOVE THE VIDEO GAME FEELS WITH LITTLE WOLF, ANTINOUS BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF TELEMACHUS AND ATHENA BEING LIKE NAHHH AND JUMPING IN AND ATHENA TEACHING HIM TO FIGHT WITH QUICK THOUGHT IS SO CUTE. THE DUET BETWEEN MICHO AND TEAGAN IS GOOD LIKE HOW ARE THEY HITTING THOSE NOTES??? The fact that Athena is still so upset about the whole Odysseus thing is heartbreaking 💔. ITS SO COOL TO SEE HER GO THROUGH THE PAST SAGAS and then we see…CALYPSO! Barbara Wangui’s voice is just so vibey like THE CAST FOR THIS SHOW IS JUST PERFECT. Poor Odysseus being stuck with Calypso and literally just suffering. That man is TRAUMATIZED. ALSO IS POLITIES EVER GOING TO STOP HAUNTING ODYSSEUS AND THE NARRATIVE LIKE I DONT NEED THAT GUT PUNCH EVERY SAGA. AND THE FACT ODYSSEUS CALLED OUT FOR ATHENA IS JUST AHHHHH. Then the one I have been waiting for GOD GAMES! I Love how Apollo and Hephaestus are both like he did this thing and I’m like kinda upset and Athenas like nah he didn’t mean it, and they’re like Okay!! He can go! I CANNOT GET OVER ALL THE THOUGHT THAT GOES BEHIND THE MUSIC ITS SELF, LIKE THE TINKERING IN THE BACKGROUND FOR HEPHAESTUS AND THE FACT THAT ITS JORGE’S DAD ITS JUST AGHHH. THEN J. MAYA COOKING AS APHRODITE, HER VOICE JUST SOOTHES MY BRAIN. AND THEN ARES COMING IN AND ATHENA BEATING HIM AND THEY BOTH BEGRUDGINGLY LET HIM GO, love how Jay paired them up. Hera’s music is so like funky and fun and Athena knows EXACTLY how to get her stepmom to pick her side in the father-daughter argument. BUT BECAUSE ZEUS IS SUCH A SORE FREAKING LOSER AND HE CANT ACCEPT THAT HIS DAUGHTER WON FAIR AND SQUARE…HE ATTACKS HER, Like Holt’s voice is GENUINELY terrifying, you can get the rumbling in his voice like THUNDER. I LITERALLY STARTED CRYING WHEN I SAW ATHENA GETTING HANDED A BABY TELEMACHUS AND THE WARRIOR OF THE MIND MELODY PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AND THE FACT THAT ATHENAS (ALLEGED) LAST WORDS WERE HER BEGGING ZEUS TO LET ODYSSEUS FREE. LIKE HOW COULD JAY DO THAT TO ME. THIS SAGA WAS DEVASTATING BUT ABSOLUTELY AMAZING PER USUAL. I APPRECIATE THE CAST AND THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE SCENES SO MUCH
#epic the musical#jorge rivera herrans#epic the underworld saga#epic the ocean saga#epic the thunder saga#epic the cyclops saga#epic the wisdom saga#epic the troy saga#epic the circe saga#telemachus#i love penelope so much
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Have you ever thought about making a playlist for the DBHAU characters? I'd be interested in what music they all would listen to or songs that relate to them.
WAOUGH thank you for reminding me-- there's actually. okay. okay so, there's actually... (checks writing on hand) 9 DBHC playlists currently LFKGJDLKFG
The way i like to organize playlists is, as i develop a character's lore/think about them more, i tend to put/look for songs that represent moments/feelings throughout their overall story in chronological order, rather than putting things on the playlist that are like, things the character would listen to or just general vibes. So each playlist is built to kinda... take you through their whole emotional journey :3 LFKJGSDFG although!! Usually, i will try to find a song i think is a good overall representation of the vibes, story, and character! Like, a title track :>
I think the only playlist that's currently closest to it's "finished" form or version is Etho's, which i've actually been meaning to share for ages LKFKLFJG but i keep getting this feeling that I would rather write up a quick explanation for what each song represents before I post it here, so i haven't gotten around to that yet :(
Though, there's a link to the Etho playlist in my stream discord LOL so a few people have access to it haha
Just for those who are curious, the dbhc playlists I currently have are:
Etho (Finished! Or like. i would have to find a PERFECT song to fit something new into the song lineup i think)
Tango (This one's pretty close overall... there are some gaps here and there but it's pretty long right now so i need to do some trimming too)
Jimmy (a short collection of vibes i haven't really organized yet)
Ranchers (I dont know if I'll do anything fancy with this playlist yet, it's kind of where i've been dumping songs that i cant quite fit on either jimmy or tangos playlists)
Xisuma (this one just kinda happened, but it's pretty fleshed out right now, especially for s8... not anywhere near finished but i've been listening to it nonstop lately. this man is destroying me rn)
Doc (also just kinda happened. i listen to this one a lot for the bops and vibes because most of the songs on this are kinda. ahem. yknow. he's kinda.)
Bdubs (this one is also kinda short! its got like 8 or 9 songs so i haven't really been focusing on it a lot-- it's kinda where i dump songs that are either hyper-specific for something from bdubs' pov or doesn't quite fit anyone else for dbhc)
Mumbo (this one is really short (5 songs) but i really like the songs on there so far hehehe, i haven't been focusing on it too much since i haven't been thinking about him too much lately but i love the vibes :])
[REDACTED]
#dbhc ask#dbhc#ask#anon#dbhc music#NEW TAG!!!#i'm gonna go back and add that tag to the spotify wrapped stuff that's for dbhc#but yeah!! i wouold love to share the music because it portrays story beats that i cant really explain or portray any better--#but i dont really want to post songs without being able to explain what they mean first yknow? hopefully that makes sense
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Failure to Comply
Epilogue for Sweet Treats AU: by character | chronological | epilogues
Warnings: these drabbles will include dark elements such as noncon, control, intimidation, alcohol abuse and addiction, and other stuff that may not be specified. Take this as you chance to scroll by.
Please let me know what you think <3
🍹🍹🍹
“I hope you like bacon,” you say as you plop the paper bag on the table. “They didn’t have any sausage left.”
Steve turns, the fluffy robe open shamelessly around his boxers. With a body like his, you wouldn’t be shy either. He pushes back the plush cotton as he eyes the bag.
“What is that?”
“A breakfast wrap and hashbrown,” you flip back the plastic tab on the lid of your cup.
“You want me to eat…” he opens the grease-stained bag and peeks inside with a grimace, “this?”
“Uh, yeah, you said you wanted breakfast.”
“Yeah, well, I thought you were going to grab groceries or something?”
“And do what?” You look around the hotel, “look, I gotta head out. I have a shift today and I smell like the bar.”
“I can’t eat this.”
“Then I will,” you come forward to swipe the bag and he catches your hand. You try to recoil as he clings to you. You tug again as you look him in the face, “bro, what the hell?”
“Bro? You were calling me captain last night.”
“I can’t even remember last night,” you twist your wrist in his grasp, “let go. You’re weirding me out.”
“You promised me breakfast.”
“This is a hotel. Call room service,” you yank your hand away but realise it’s only because he let you. “Jesus, who knew the spangled sack of stars was such a baby.”
You spin on your heel and sip your coffee. It’d be a lot better with some vodka. Or whiskey. You should’ve saved the money you spent on the shitty wrap for a mickey. Fucking jackass.
You toss the keycard on the little tray and grab the door handle. You open it an inch only for it to be snapped back into the frame. You wiggle it and pull again. You look up slowly at the hand planted against the wood. You turn as Steve looms over you.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I didn’t say you could go.”
“I don’t need your permission,” you scoff, “the fuck?”
“Captain’s orders,” he snarls.
“Alright, you are delusional,” you tug on the handle again, “I really can’t–”
“What happened to that sweet little pussy, hm? You couldn’t get enough last night.”
“Alcohol does that to people,” you roll your eyes, “step away, Cap, or this,” you raise the paper cup, “is going in your fa–”
He smacks the coffee out of your hand, the dark roast spray across the room. You scoff and curse as you gape at Steve. What the fuck?
“You don’t threaten me,” he looms over you, “do you understand what I could do to you?”
You glare at him defiantly, “if it makes you feel like a big man, go ahead.”
“Oh, you know I’m a big man,” he smirks, “you seemed to like that fact a whole lot last night,” he brings his finger up under your chin, “didn’t you?”
“I don’t even remember last night,” you hiss and swat his hand away, “shouldn’t you be looking for your missing girlfriend instead of fucking randos from the nearest dive?”
“Dont,” he warns as he jabs his thick index in your face, “as pretty as that mouth is, doesn't mean I won’t fix it.”
You scowl, “there’s about a dozen other bar hags who would be happy to fuck around but I’m hungover and I can’t be late for work. So move you back up and fuck off.”
He sucks his teeth and stays as he is. Your heart pounds as you reach blindly to your purse. You wrap your hand around the small canister attached to your keys. You’re pretty sure even super soldiers don’t react well to mace.
“You beet back–”
His hand comes up, aimed at your throat, and you raise your own. You hit the button but not quick enough as he angles your arm away from him. He twists your grasp around until the spray is directed straight into your eyes. You shriek and let go of it too late. Fuck that stings.
“You little fucking bitch,” he stretches your arm and bends it harshly, spinning you to pin your wrist to your back. He shoves you against the door as you squirm, “it didn’t have to be like this.”
“Fucker,” you bark as your eyes stream and you gag on the remnants of the spray, “crazy ass motherfucker.”
“I fucking am,” he hauls you away from door, dragging your feet across the floor, “you’re a hard nut to crack, baby, but don’t worry, you will.”
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x honey#sweet treats#drabble#drabble series#dark!fic#au#marvel#mcu#captain america#avengers
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I'm in the process of putting together a FC5 lore document (that is very geared towards the specific existence of my deputy so I'm duct taping the canon together very crudely), and I've been reading up on your blog (not in chronological order, i dont get how tumblr works anymore) because your thoughts are very helpful ! Thank you for being such a wonderful person and FC5 fan, you've really made my experience with enjoying this game so much better, so bless your whole existence
I wanted to share with you something I found in my research that I remembered as I was reading your ages post from all the way back in 2018: Pre-2002, it's possible that America had no real enlistment criteria based on age, meaning child conscription was possible due to the (takes deep breath) Optional Protocol on the Involvement of Children in Armed Conflict (OPAC). In 2000, they had only signed the treaty but were still pushing for to send 17y.o.'s to war; today, America still recruits as young as 17y.o., they just don't send them to war just yet. I'm thinking that if we go by the dates we've been given, Jacob could have been recruited when he was as young as 16, because the first Gulf War is dated to the beginning of 1991. What are your thoughts?
Oh wow, thank you so much!! And I’m glad my blog has been helpful :D
I didn’t know about the OPAC, but if we want Jacob to be born in 1974 as the Playasia Blog says, that would make sense!
@anna-elizabeth-jason had another interesting theory that could also explain why his dog tags say “JAKOB SEED”: if he was born in 1974 and too young to join the army, he might have lied about his age, and if he did, I think he may have received some help.
In The Book of Joseph, we learn that he went to juvie and joined the military “once he served out his sentence” because it was either “the army or a life of crime” for him, but the book also says “the teachers believed in him” and “some reports praised his sense of honor and leadership skills”, so if he wasn’t 17 yet when he was released, I believe it’s possible those teachers made sure he could enlist anyway. They probably didn’t want him to end up on the street (ironically, he eventually did) and I doubt Jacob liked the idea of going back to the orphanage or being adopted again, so the army sounded like the best option to them. In any case, if some documents were hastily falsified to allow him to enlist despite being too young, that may be the reason his name was apparently incorrectly spelled “Jakob” during his military career.
To be honest, the spelling mistake on his dog tags is most likely an oversight that doesn’t mean anything, but if we want to find a logical explanation for everything, I like this theory!
In the end, we don’t know his canonical age since the game never reveals it, but we can imagine he’s simply over 44 and that’s why he fought in the first Gulf War. After all, Absolution (even though it’s only semi-canon to me) implies Joseph is already in his fifties so that would mean Jacob is ever older. The OPAC and/or the possibility of him lying about his age are interesting hypotheses if we want 1974 to seem less absurd as his year of birth, though :)
#good luck duct-taping the canon together#the deeper you dive into the lore the more holes and cracks you find :’)#but as sharky says: 'duct tape fixes everything. except marriages. and a broken home.'#so it’s fine haha#far cry 5#the book of joseph#jacob seed#I remember googling how old you had to be to go to juvie in georgia but apparently there’s no minimum age so that didn’t help#...does ubi even know how old their characters are anyway?
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well let it be on record that i was asked for this (insert image for ask that was send cause it got deleted somehow. the original asker has said they didnt do that so it was probably on tumblrs end. in the reblogs there will be a screenshot of the original ask)
so, most of this is gonna be out of chronological order because i cant remember the order i got a lot of these in, though i do remember the first two physicals. first one i got was pc steam version. most playtime in this one due to getting it first and still going back to it cause multiplayer is easy, and also free unlike consoles) gifted it to quite a lot of my steam friends.
then my grandad introduced me to gog (and gave me fallout 3 and nv) and i got the gog version of terraria (identical to steam except its drm free and doesnt contain any steamworks stuff like steam multiplayer (though you can direct ip connect) or steam achievements (there are ingame achievements) or steam cloud) we'll get back to this one later as i have more to say
so, onto the physical copies i will not be going in chronological order as i only remember the first two chronologically (also i will note i got the steam and gog versions before any physicals)
Nintendo Switch
so like 2 years ago now i got a switch for my birthday, first console ive ever owned (i was a pc girlie), whats the first game i get for it? Wrong! it was mario kart (thats why i wanted a switch). naturally when i got the switch it did not come with a game packed in so i ended up cycling a couple miles to go and buy mario kart. shortly after i got terraria cause hey i liked the game on pc itd be nice to play it on the go (my laptop was shit and also it stopped working properly shortly before i got my desktop pc the year before my switch). also the third game i got for it was breath of the wild which i thought was worth mentioning
Xbox 360
second one i ever got was the xbox 360. i found this while on holiday in a cex for £1.50 (same time i got botw for the switch, see i said it was worth mentioning), and thought itd be neat to start collecting terraria physical copies for all the consoles because well a £1.50 game is a good place to start. havent played it yet, only verified the disc works since i dont have an xbox 360. it was a couple months (and collected terraria copies) down the line before i decided "hey this collection is cool why dont i get the consoles to play them on and eventually 100% each of them" which lead me down buying broken consoles and repairing them which is how most consoles i own came into my possession. if theres anything notable about the repairs ill mention them alongside the game. you can clearly tell i have no plan on how this post is going im just rambling as i remember something anyways this is where things stop being chronological and im just gonna group similar consoles together, which leads us to
Xbox One
the xbox one version has two different box art variations. why do i have both despite only being able to use one at a time? because theres two of course! the later one (right) is what i got first before hunting for the second one i got (left) because the right one is more common in cex and the left more common on ebay for.... some reason i dont know. nothing much to note otherwise except 100%ing this one was a fucking pain in the arse i didnt actually do it until about 9 hours ago. id basically 100%ed it some months ago (the standard 115 ingame achievements as of 1.4.4.9), but of course the ps4 and xbox one versions dont just have the standard ingame achievements like steam has, nonono thats to easy. they have their own that are more relics from the old gen consoles (ps3/vita/xb360/wiiu), and are xbox live/psn achievements. most are unique but some are just ingame ones (but not all 115 for.... some reason). and now we get to the achievement i was never able to complete until today. pet collector. most of these were fine, easy, completed alongside the others. except pet collector. now it requires you to "get all the pets". this is thankfully untrue, it requires you to get all the pets that were in the game as of when that achievement was introduced. a few i could get easily by looking up "<pet name> seed xbox" and getting the ones from chests, the rest i just got naturally, except, the zephyr fish. random chance from fishing, if you have insane fishing power, the maximum possible in the game, it wont even hit 0.5% chance, and its lower with lower fishing power. thankful xbox one has rolling recording so i was able to quickly capture the moment that i caught it (i was checking the wiki to see if there was anything else i could do to get this fish easier, then returned to the game and caught it there and then): (there was a video here but im cutting it in the hopes that i can actually send the post. its on my blog somewhere). i had a much easier time with this achievement on ps4. speaking about playstation,
Playstation 3
ha you thought i was gonna talk about ps4 werent you, or not i dont know what youre thinking. anyways this one was another cheap one, i got the ps3 version [on the right] for about £2, checked the disc works, and i still dont have a ps3 so i havent played that yet. also found a japanese ps3 version for a couple quid that comes with inlays and all that. cant read a word but its cool to have
Playstation Vita
This was one of the more pricy versions, with it [the english version] being about £15, played on a modded vita that i bought. notable things about that vita, the rear touchpad came broken but it was just unplugged, also the previous owner didnt wipe it and their memory card was just, full of porn (no i wont share it i factory reset it all) japanese version i got from someone selling it from japan, cheaper than the english version which was pretty funny to me
Playstation 4
so. a lot here. first one i got was the (boxed) playstation hits version, which came with a... original print disc? someone somewhere has bought a ps4 original box with the playstation hits disc from a random cex in some city. maybe ill meet them some day. anyways, next i got the original print with original print disc, nothing really of note, then found out there was a newer print without playstation hits on it (this doesnt exist for xbox one i checked trust me), tracked one down and paid a surprisingly low price. it had the right disc. now the odd ones out of the ps4 lineup, the disc in the jewel case is a standalone playstation hits disc (which came as a disc i provided the case myself) because i wanted one since i got confirmation it existed after getting that middle box art variation with its own disc. now, unique thing here, its the usa version. the ps4 is region free with discs, so i could play it. but. different region versions are different applications with different save data and different achievements trackers. i have only played this one to test the disc works im not doing 102 hours all over again to 100% the american version (yeah it was about 102 hours i did on expert mode this time, plus two minutes that i went into a journey mode drunk world to get a kite since it wasnt windy at all on the main save). finally, the bonus collectors edition. this has the box ive shown in the image, plus in the plastic wrap its stealed in theres an original print of the box art in there too. inside the big box is the stickers, poster, and... drum roll please.... the terraria branded pickaxe 2gb usb-2.0 flash drive. its by itself on ebay for like £30 or more and i got this whole bundle for under £20. i do not want to break the seal just for a 2gb usb drive ill use once and never again (american one is cropped, wouldnt upload if it was separate and i cant retake the pic for reasons. i think theres an image limit? or limit for images on separate paragraphs?)
Wii U and 3DS
these were also on the more expensive side, £20 and £15 respectively. nothing much to note about the games themselves, except the wiiu version can be played with the wiiu gamepad or pro controller... and also the fuckign wii remote with nunchuck. this isnt on the wiki. if i knew how to edit the wiki page to add that control scheme in i would. discussion page on the wiki talking about it here and if anyone wants the full inputs so they can put it in PLEASE message me i just want it on the wiki. nothing much to note on the repairs for my wiiu, but the 3ds. well. lets start by the fact that i bought this during a college day when i didnt have a lecture, and one of my friends (coincidentally an ex) had their 3ds xl with them, so i asked if i could just check this game works and it did. played about 5 mins and didnt touch it again. then i bought a broken new 2ds xl off ebay. broken (i knew this) not fixable by me (i wasnt aware till i tried). big problem, it wouldnt boot and also the shoulder button switches broke off and my soldering iron is too big to fix that, and also it was homebrewed and i didnt have the original nand backup cause it wasnt mine. it rotted in my electronics drawer for about two and a half years (maybe three and a half). onto the new 3ds xl i got, the only problem with that was a nonfunctional sd card reader. hey wait a sec i have a 3ds sd card reader on an old broken 3ds (2ds xl) so i swapped those out and its worked fine since. homebrewed it and i have the nand backup for that. so this was early this year. now. lets go up to last month. ive just built a computer monitor using the lcd panel and top case from my old shit laptop, a controller board for the panel i got off aliexpress, a cardboard box to store the aforementioned controller board, the laptops charger (fit perfectly into the dc port on the controller board and also was the right voltage), and some speakers (theyre shit but they work), and thought "hey my electronics repair skills have improved, lets go back to that old new 2ds xl, i found a motherboard replacement. its also a special variant one i have so i could sell it if i wanted to make money". so i bought the motherboard (and a new volume slider cause i lost that little bit of plastic), put it all together, and it worked! it all booted up! and i was so caught up in the euphoria of all that i failed to notice that the top screen was cracked inside that i could only notice now that the rest of the console worked. back to aliexpress, new top screen arrived, some broken glass, a ripped ribbon cable (of the old top screen) and some superglue later and i have a perfectly functioning new 2ds xl. which i am not playing terraria on cause my new 3ds xl is better. but hey i can streetpass with myself now that was worth the £40 i spent on repairs
PC Collectors Edition
first one i got here was the one in the middle, backed up the bunny.exe that activates the collectors edition and then shelved it. that one and the second one i got (left) were both used and thus the steam keys were already used. the later one i got (right) is sealed (thats why i have two of the same box art). there are more i am trying to find, theres one box art variation where the orangey red info box is massive, and one where its not present at all (so yeah theres still more, theres also a japanese 3ds and wiiu version but theyre like £60 and £100 on ebay and im not spending that much on a videogame. im sure the fact im specifying videogame will not come up later) its good, if you can get a good deal on one and want the bunny pet id say its worth it, though since all the exe does is change 1 bit in the registry its easy enough to manually do it even if you dont have the physical collectors edition if you know what youre doing (and on linux and mac you have to do it manually as theres no linux/mac versions of the script) speaking of linux like i did in the brackets, theres a fun bug where mouse4 and mouse5 cant be assigned ingame and arent registered at all which sucks cause i used those to grapple and quick mount. naturally using the windows version via proton does fix this, but provides us with fun new bugs such as all key presses in text boxes are doubles so trying to type anything including world seeds eennddss uupp lliikkee tthhiiss and also steam overlay is just completely broken, though i did find a fna update script for the linux port that updates the engine allowing mouse4 and mouse5 to be used, i got it off github somewhere.
now thats all the game versions, lets move on to some other cool stuff. firstly (and no pic for this because the frame i got makes any pictures look complete pants but its sick as fuck in person) is the "heroes of terraria" poster from the terraria.shop site, also some pins from the same site which i keep on a cork board thing on my wall next to the transgender tardis dr who pin i got, plus a hoodie (the world of terraria one in green and gold) plus some tshirts (like 4 of them, one was a heroes of terraria on a tshirt). theyre cool but you know whats cooler?
Terraria Official Handbooks
if youre my age or a bit older (or a bit younger i dont know) you might remember those minecraft handbooks. well, around 2015 terraria got their own for version 1.3.0.8. these arent really wiki replacements, and i think theyre aware of that (hell they even link to the wiki, and being 2015 they link to the official gamepedia one (before fandom fucked it up) and the unofficial wikia one (which i think became fandom. fuck that website. use the wiki.gg wiki its the new official one)), theyre more "hey show this to someone to get them into the game like a parent or friend or other person". theyre pretty cool, i got the bundle of these for quite cheap in very good condition, i did give them all a read through and you can tell theyre 1.3.0 guides, theres a LOT thats changed. maybe after 1.4.5 relogic will commission more? id like that but then again we have a wiki thats very comprehensive so i doubt it and now one more thing what i would personally consider the pride of my collection the single item i am most proud to have yes, even more so than handbooks and sealed game copies let me show you:
Terraria OST Vinyl
this released in 2021 (and as a result only has the first four volumes, also unrelated to the time it doesnt have the otherworld ost, related to the time it means theres no deerclops and no aether, and no 11 or more tracks that are coming in 1.4.5 which will presumably become volume 5. will they do a reissue of the vinyl if that happens? my wallet hopes not) and is SO EXCEEDINGLY RARE i have only seen a handful of listings, going for £150/160. until i found one for about £100 so i didnt think i just clicked buy and id personally say it was worth it due to rarity and being also SEALED so i havent touched the seal on that (i also dont have a vinyl player and i ripped the .wav files from the game files (i also paid for the .mp3 files from steam) so i dont really need to use the vinyl), and i really wanna get it framed. honestly this is just the thing im most proud of having. anyways i said id get back to the pc version (i think) so now im gonna mention the gog version
GoG.com
gog.com is a website (woah) that sells exclusively drm-free games. tl;dr if you have downloaded the games backup installer (or installed the game from them its still drm free) they cannot do SHIT you OWN that thing you can do whatever you like. install it on one of your pcs. install it on every pc you own. steam wont let you use windows 7 now? thats cool i can use the gog offline backup installer on any os (that the game itself supports). why am i mentioning this? well i thought itd be cool to collect backup installers. downloading them whenever new versions drop (was only really doing it with windows until last year so i only downloaded 1.4.4.9v4 on other oses myself) but i only started playing on steam with 1.4.0.5, and gog with 1.4.1 or 1.4.2 i cant remember which, how can i get older versions now? i can only download the latest version via gog, plus patch exes to patch older versions to slightly less old versions given that i already have older versions, and even then i can only currently download patches for 1.4.4.8 and onwards (i was grabbing patches as i went). so i contacted gog support. they were able to give me linux, windows, and macos backup installers for 1.3.5.3 and 1.4.0.5, which was very cool and 1.3.5.3 was one of the two versions i most cared about since they were right before 1.X.0.0 updates. the other being 1.2.4.1, since gog terraria did release with that version as the first one it released with. even going back to support a year later going "hey i was allowed access to older ones before, do you have 1.2.4.1?" and they could only give me 1.3.5.3 and 1.4.0.5 (and the latest version direct from gog.com being 1.4.4.9v4). so began my hunt. eventually finding the gog version of 1.2.4.1 lying around on the internet archive (thank you internet archive youre a real one), alongside a couple other misc versions i didnt have. i also found a couple i had to torrent (i wish gog let me have them all so i didnt have to resort to pirating a game i paid for but media preservation is at the heart of piracy so thank you media preservers youre also real ones. that includes internet archive im thanking you twice), so bringing me to now where i have basically every 1.4.4.x on windows, a handful of 1.4.x.x on windows, and 1.4.4.9v4, 1.4.0.5, and 1.3.5.3 on all platforms, and 1.2.4.1 on windows (linux/mac didnt get native versions till the beta on 1.3.0.7 and then fully on 1.3.0.8) oh i also have the mobile version but theres nothing really interesting of note there. switch versions better portably (and steam deck too)
and thats my full collection basically. at some point im hoping to get the 2 collectors edition box arts i dont have and 2 japanese game versions i dont have, but waiting for listings to show up online/reasonable prices respectively. if youve made it to the end of this... well done. maybe in the future ill talk about my dr who dvd collection, or the turnip boy robs a bank wii version i have (its real only haters will say its fake). anyways post ended thats all i can think to talk about.
#terraria#that was a fuckin long one#congratulations if you read it all#ive also got a world ive had for 4 years that ive been adding on to which might be a fun thing to make a post about#i also have a post about steam workshop content for terraria i made cause someone asked#if someone asks me something about something im interested in ill probably make another post like this#so#if you want that by all means go ahead#anyways im ending this here cause tumblr is breaking whenever i try sending this#also this took like an hour and a half to type out#and a further half an hour figuring out why tumblr broke trying to send it
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Hobie Brown Headcanons
long post ahead. will put as much as i can under the cut but i will have a.... loose table of contents.
and im not feeding you everything. i need more content to drip feed you later.
the inspo is driving me crazy but the hands are refusing to write.
the table: backstory food british animals
lmk if ppl want this to be split up into individual posts per category. cuz its l o n g
BACKSTORY:
Not based on the comics. purely my own attempt at writing his backstory and his particular villains.
Hobie's Doc Oc was a university professor pressured by Osborn's regime to produce weapons. Hobie had met the guy while crashing a university class, but nothing more than that. Octavius snapped and took the revolution to the extreme. he built a WMD and planned to use it on the city. Hobie talked octavius down and disarmed the weapon.
Hobie's lizard was his close friend and bandmate who got jealous over their lead singer's affections towards hobie. they were close friends until hobie started drifting away. curtis was bitter and never really forgave him. the final straw was when hobie returned in full, having just abandoned his spider suit. the band is back together but curtis still has hard feelings. he knew vaguely about hobie's connection with spiderman but thought that it was some kind of special deal or friendship which was just another nail in the coffin. he turns himself into the lizard and attacks hobie, demanding answers and refusing to listen.
the above is just an excuse to hurt hobie really bad >:3 i love my angst and my beating my muses up. i wanted to break his ribs.
electro was a civilian who just happened to get struck by lightning. he is the sole reason hobie has insulated all of his gear and one of the reasons all of his spikes can shoot excess electricity like one of those funky little electrode balls. hobie took one look at this guy and immediately got to work.
Kraven was a bounty hunter hired and possibly engineered by osborn and fisk to hunt down hobie. classic kraven activities. he tried to drown hobie in the thames. hobie managed to escape but couldn't breathe or eat properly for a week after the attack
hobie's ship was hauled from the local junkyard. It was originally just used as a figure head to lead the charge from the government locked dam blocking off water. it somehow survived so he uses it as his hq.
hobie is immune to his scorpion's venom after being stung so many times and stealing samples of it to build up an immunity. yes it hurt. yes it sucked. but it worked. (loosely inspired by a fanfic)
the above are not in chronological order. mostly.
FOOD:
Hobie's world doesn't have a lot of spices. it's a closed state unless importing 'important' materials like lumber, steel and other sciency stuff, food is a lower priority or just a restricted luxury. the spice trade has regressed to something like the 1600s where foreign spices are held by those in power purely as a status symbol. the common man might have access to salt, sugar and cream, but anything else- especially anything spicy- is a luxury item.
hobie would love spicy food. i just dont think he's gotten much exposure to it. day one out of e-138 he opened a bag of spicy chips in the cafeteria, touched one and exploded.
exotic/foreign fruits fall under this same category but for more legit reasons of travel and lack of safe storage. so for example: mangoes, oranges/citrus, kiwi, pomegranates.
boba would freak him the fuck out. he has no idea what those little jiggly things are and its only made worse when one of the kids inevitably shows him the hamster 'is it worth it' meme. he becomes scarred for life.
if you take too long to take a bite out of whatever you're holding and hobie is hungry, he will just lean over and take a bite out of it. sandwich? bitten. spaghetti? stolen off the fork. chocolate bar? wrapper and bar, gone.
his favorite flavor of cake is chocolate or caramel. sue me im projecting onto him
BRITISH
he holds out his pinky when holding cups. it's just an unconscious thing that turns conscious once someone calls it out. in which case he sticks it out even further
flips the police and the royal family off regularly with the one fingered or the two fingered version. will only respect the french for inventing the creative two fingered fuck you, but nothing else.
has a winter fit that is just like a pile of whatever sweaters he has and two scarves. and long socks that make the space in his tight boots even more tight. sometimes cuts off circulation to his feet.
loves going to pubs and just chatting with people. also loves picking fights with the drunk people. Particularly the irish. he thinks their accents are funny and has long arguments with them while they're both speaking absolute gibberish.
knows french but only the insults. has an arsenal of french insults he will just whip out of his back pocket and drop on someone's head.
not really a british thing but i bet he doesn't know how to ride a bike. he was a) too tall and b) not willing to get his entire skeleton rattled by riding over the cobbled streets of london.
wimpy's fan. (its like the british version of mcdonalds but less popular and less famous. according to my research).
ANIMALS
Hobie keeps pigeons. he built a little house when he was bored and was surprised to find three pigeons hiding from the rain underneath it the next day. he didn't really intend to keep them but they nested and he kept bringing them food and water. he did name the brown one hobie jr.
hobie has a cat. again, not really 'has' but rather 'it broke into his boat and wont leave'. he didn't name her because he can't think of a good one. for the longest time he had no idea she was living in his floorboards but later discovered a hole in the side of his boat and found a crawlspace just large enough for a kitten.
he is freaked out by snakes. not as in a fear of snakes. but rather in utter disbelief that they can be the size of a human person. he's read about and probably seen the average snake, about the size of an arm. but anything larger than that will make his jaw drop right off of his face
he did have a symbiote dog for a short time. the dog was badly hurt and the passive symbiote had merged with its body to try and help it. he offered it a place to stay and rest and it happily agreed. it followed him around for the short while they had together and one day went off on its own.
he still sees that dog around (affectionately named 'spider-mutt') and offers it head scratches or belly rubs but they always part ways sooner than later.
loves opossums. thinks they look funny.
part two? maybe....
might add more to this as my brain keeps turning.
#atsv#hobie brown#hobie brown headcanons#this has been accumulating for#since the movie came out#i lost my mind#still losing it actually
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Basic Writing Advice
Take everything said with a grain of salt because this is just what I do…not what everyone should do
I’d like to give writing advice to people as someone who has written stories since I could pick up a pencil. However, I’m realizing a lot of my advice may not work for everyone…
Despite this I will be posting this post anyway!
Make your rough draft good enough that spelling and grammar aside…you could feasibly send it out into the world! Then go back and fix things that need fixing!
The best way to know if something needs fixed is to have someone else read it! If they don’t understand what’s going on you need to elaborate more!
If you feel like you’re using too much detail or too many words try using bigger words in place of two to three smaller words!
Act out scenes in your book as you write them and be aware of how you do things! Watch how others do things and emulate that! Study people! It’s the only way to write movement well…
For that first draft focus only on getting it to sound good and flow well! Fix grammar the second time through!
Aim to write ten pages a day then get upset when you don’t do that! Guilt yourself into writing close to ten pages a day until your book is finished! You’ll be upset you keep not reaching your goal that you’ll be determined to reach the ten page mark and by the time you start reaching it your book is almost done! It’s a life hack to completing your book under your own nose!
Dont focus on one project by itself unless you think you can get it out in six months or less (what I did with my first ever book linked in my pinned post)
If you’re a reader like me don’t read any books while you’re writing (I know it’s hard but trust me I got way more done when I wasn’t reading) if you must read at least read something from a different genre!
Write in chronological order and make a bullet point list for your plot chapter by chapter if you must! You can go off path but so long as it you make it to the next bullet point you’re good!
Do not pigeon hole yourself into one genre!! You’ll get bored of it if you don’t challenge yourself!
Write for yourself and don’t be afraid to take inspiration from things! So long as you aren’t copying things word for word and so long as you aren’t stealing characters or plots ITS FINE! It’s great actually!! (Think of it this way…I am a HUGE zombie movie fan and just because there are already a lot of zombie movies out there in the world when a new one comes out I will definitely watch it! Not only will I watch it but I won’t care if it’s similar to another zombie movie I enjoyed!)
Get the words out of your head it doesn’t matter how! If writing scrawled words you can barely read across notebook paper gets them out then do it! Don’t let your story die!
If you let anything sit for over a year and it has less than five pages go ahead and re-write those pages! Start fresh from the beginning because you’ll never be in the mindset you were in when you first wrote it again!
If time was a social construct and the human body could withstand lack of sleep, water, and food…if locked in a cell with nothing else to do but write the ideal thing to do would be to push through and write the entire thing in one setting! Get that shit out of your head before it drives you insane! Since the human body does need sleep, water, and food I suggest writing as much as you physically can before stopping! The only reason I’ve ever finished a book was because I wrote the first twenty or so pages in one sitting!
Re-read your book until the thought of looking at it again gives you a headache! It’s the only way to catch all the mistakes…(side note: when combing through the interior of your book don’t make the mistake of slacking on your cover thinking you are now invincible…you’ll make a mistake)
As your book nears its final chapters go ahead and design the cover! Select a style and a theme to match your books contents! Amazon cover designer has great covers but I recommend taking a photo for your cover! (At a later date I will make a post about cover design etc)
Taking breaks is good but taking longer breaks is bad! Get some water, get some tea, some koolaid, a pitcher of lemonade?! Whatever floats your boat! Set it next to you and when you’re stuck pour a glass and have a drink! I call this “Drink and Think” and something about pouring the drink into the glass and taking a sip helps refresh my brain!
#writing advice#writing tips#first time writing#lgbt author#trans author#authors of tumblr#queer writers#writer problems#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#young author#writer memes#writer mood#writers#writer stuff
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